#i was gonna put this under the cut

[turbo-tsundere]

Content warning for gore, blood, burns & body horror.

A king with no crown and a holy fool.

(The element of venom/poison, stabbing/puncture wounds and destruction of a whole body is present in both of their deaths. Kokichi's pristine white clothes also end up being shoved down the toilet, and the poison made it difficult for him to breathe, so there's plausible callback to Miu also. Karma at its finest?)

If I could be the devil, you could be the sinner.

(Don't mind them, they're just spilling their guts)

(...)

(Concepts for scenes from a Gonta-centric survival horror game I'll never make. But it was fun to daydream about - maybe one day I'll finish other sketches and doodles relating to it into a more presentable state. The Cat Lady OST was playing on constant repeat while I drew this - Lily of the Valley, Don't Follow the Light, String, Plainwalker, Early Winter, Storytelling, Susan's Blue Sheep (alone again) - those in particular are now stuck in my brain when I look at those drawings, and what I imagine the "game's" mood to be like, at least the opening segment.)

(I felt both heartbroken and like a monster when drawing this one... But I wanted to draw something that doesn't conveniently erase nor tuck his mangled, swollen face away from view. Sure... in game it looks goofy. But I think mockingly disfiguring him was the point in all of this, too. And given the venom, the Schmidt pain index, how it rates some wasp species, the fact that those robot wasps could be packed with anything necessary really... it had to be awful. Really, every stage of Gonta's execution was excruciating and enough to kill a person on its own, but due to his strength he likely suffered through them all. I remember begging in my head he was at least spared the flame, that he was already gone by this point... But it's foolish to pretend it definitely was the case.)

I wanted to post something new, but I was either busy, ill, or focused on something else, so another sketchdump with oldies and wips it is. This time strictly 2020-21 stuff, drawn during the first few months after finishing the game; mostly to process the post-game/Ch4 sorrows. All very emotionally raw, very edgy stuff that I felt, to be honest, too shy to show before.

Like with any wip I posted before, I do hope to finish some of them properly one day, even though I don't know when. But that's fine, I've signed up for a very long ride with the bug man. Taking it easy is the priority.

Speaking of long-term projects, maybe there's no need to, but I do want to talk about my Gonta fancomic, so here goes.

It's a bit long, so I will continue under the cut.

(Some panel teasers first! ...Gonta sanity fine.)

I took a few months long break from personal drawings - an *actual* break, not just sitting in front of a screen, tired, stewing in guilt that I'm tired, and that I can't magically muscle through burnout, or headache, or exhaustion.

My brain was stuck in a loop of berating myself for underperforming, not doing well enough, for taking so long on "mere" 27 pages, when in the past I could finish a 90-page webcomic chapter much faster. I wouldn't let myself rest, because I didn't do enough; but I couldn't do enough, because I didn't allow myself to rest. And it's been going on for months and months.

What a stupid, unconstructive thing to do to myself. I was only spiralling down, intimidating and overwhelming myself with work on the one thing I specifically wanted to keep doing out of joy, not ambition and pedantism. So I decided to just say "fuck it" and stop for a while. Like, actually stop, do something else and try to feel unapologetic about it.

So I briefly took up sewing, a creative activity I had no personal stake in, and then I started PVP-ing in DS3 (sorry if I happened to kick your butt in there. Rest assured my butt gets kicked just as much), which did wonders, too, as non-artistic pastime.

And, in the end, it seems it worked.

I finally feel this internal drive to draw again. Sadly, I can't spend all of my free time on the doujin (I might need to open commissions soon), so my pacing will still be glacial... But there was an internal change from "I have to, I have to, I must..." back to "I want to". And this is all that matters.

Still, that makes me think... while technically I don't have deadlines, the comic has taken so much longer than I thought it would - and it will take a while still. Thus, I wonder if I shouldn't change my approach re publishing it.

The initial idea was to post it all at once when it's fully finished, but I debate releasing it one page at a time instead, while it's still work in progress.

Thing is, I don't think it would be good for overall pacing. I don't want to sacrifice it, plus I can't guarantee regular uploads, esp since I don't exactly work on the pages in chronological order (While the first page is done, it was drawn after I finished a few in the middle & at the end; and there are still a few important pages/panels in first half I'm a bit too afraid of touching just yet, wanting to do them justice. This is how I work in general, jumping around rather than sticking to overly strict linear order.)

The compromise would be to post like 3-5 pages per post, making it so each upload covers a specific scene, however, same issue arises - I can't promise regular uploads. In the end it feels like a half-measure. But maybe it's a good idea, despite that impression?

There's a secret option, too - if this takes absurdly long, my plan was to just post the storyboard, after replacing some panels/pages with already finished drawings. The thing is readable as is, and long finished on that front anyway. My personal deadline for that was "right before my current lease ends", but, well… I plan on extending it anyway, and again... it's just a back-up option for when everything else fails. In the end, I just want to finish the comic, and present it how it's meant to be presented, however long it will take.

All those things considered, I'll stick to the original plan for now... and then we shall see. I simply wanted to share where things stand currently, and where they might go.

And that's it! If you've read this far, thank you. See you in the undetermined future.

[amygdalae]

i think you should brag more about getting laid. someone has to around here

🫡

[quantumfeat72]

But unlike you, who gave up on your wish, and almost destroyed the world in the process...

I gave up on my wish, and destroyed myself.

[front-facing-pokemon]

[starshapedspider]

and i’ve been burning for you, baby, since the moment i left

[saeiken]

💥💥💥💥

[bumblingbabooshka]

My name is [BRUTUS] and my name means [HEAVY] so with a [HEAVY] heart I'll guide this dagger Into the heart of my enemy

Something about having absolutely no choice in who you marry. About being literally forced by the law to spill blood - to accept this stranger as your husband over a man you truly care for or accept the fact that the man you love might die because you put him in danger. Something about risking becoming the wife of a man you've never even seen before a few minutes prior because you know anything would be better than putting your beloved in harm's way. Something about the trust inherent in that decision and in the way she speaks of it after. Truthfully, T'Pring doesn't know the captain and she doesn't know Spock. Either one of them could have taken her as their wife but she does know Stonn. She knows that Stonn will remain by her side no matter what. They made a plan together. They have an agreement which T'Pring believes will be upheld even though the plan changed with the arrival of Kirk. Stonn will always be there, always, and Stonn will be hers. Something about the language used around T'Pring: Ownership, subservience, non-personhood. T'Pring is an object that Spock can win. She cannot reject him, she has no say in the matter other than having Stonn 'claim' her instead. Even when Spock leaves after being very clearly rejected by T'Pring he says "Stonn, she is yours." as if despite her clear rejection he still owns her and is must formally 'give' her to Stonn. But the language T'Pring uses around Stonn is a break from that: "There was Stonn who wanted very much to be my consort, and I wanted him." Stonn who wanted very much to be HER consort and she WANTED him. The language here is very particular - It's not, for example: "Stonn wanted me to be his wife" - he is HERS. And she WANTS him. There's a mutual affection there and a strong trust - a trust which seems to be well founded since Stonn (though silent) stands by her side at the end of the episode. <- That might seem small but if Spock would reject her for 'daring to challenge' (again, the language is not 'because I don't want you' but more of an implied disgust at her having the AUDACITY to reject him) then it's not a stretch to assume that it'd be considered an insult in the TOS Vulcan society to NOT choose Stonn as her champion after a prior agreement. Anyway T'Pring was a woman in an impossible situation within a society which saw her as more of an object than a person and she wanted Stonn and Stonn wanted to be hers and she trusted that he would understand if she had to publicly pick someone else to ensure his life would be spared and he did understand.

[madebycoffee]

11 Days Of Deco Sims - Day 3

Today I have two requests for you! Smaller sets, but I think they'll both be incredibly useful. (I just know that sim jogging with the stroller about to be in every park in your saves. Can't wait!) Reference pictures for all the sims are under the cut!

Tourists comes with:

6 sims, 4 swatches each.

mediafire l patreon

Little One comes with:

8 sims, (4 pairs) with 4 swatches each.

mediafire l patreon

Tourists:

Little One:

(And yes! the strollers are a part of the infant sims!)

-

If you appreciate what I do, I have a Ko-Fi.

Come back tomorrow for another set! ⚽

[dawnthefluffyduck]

Had to make a pigeon decal for a class, I kinda like how it came out

edit: forgot that a little bit of shading goes a long way (also changed the line color, might still darken it)

[machiroads]

Fic Writer Interview

Thank u @plusultraetc for the tag wheeeeee

How many works do you have on AO3?

8️⃣

What's your total AO3 word count?

251,850, 150k of which is one fic lmao

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Nine Lives, by an order of magnitude over 2nd place

Naruhata Noir

A Tumultuous Sea, You and Me (the mer-pirates fic)

Being No One, Going Nowhere (the 2 broken arms fic)

waiting on the seasons to change, waiting for the curtain to fall (the fortuneteller fic)

I am surprised to see the 2 broken arms fic in the top 5 tbh!

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I like to get responses to my own comments, so I try to reply to everyone's comments :]

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Uhhhhh PROBABLY 9L since it ends with everyone going off to war haha oopsie

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

Uhhhhhh probably merpirates? It's really gross and sappy. Dive into the ocean and kiss a mermaid in front of your entire crew. The 2 broken arms fic also got a pretty happy ending (Aizawa goes to bed and also maybe jerks it a little)

Do you write crossovers?

Not crossovers per se but I do enjoy a deep in the weeds AU

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I don't think so? The worst I get is people saying "wow almost no typos" which is very tame lmao

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Not yet! Kintsugi (the epilogue to 9L) will have some mild spice but I'm at a point in my life where I just couldn't be jazzed to write folks doing it sloppy style

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so except for that website that's scraped like a ton of fics a few months back

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I had one person request to translate 9L into Ukranian, though I never saw if they ended up doing it. Recently I've also had a couple people leave comments in Spanish so I assume they translated the story into Spanish somehow!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

The unpublished FFXII AU is partially co-written by Robbirdthe8th, but it's been parked for like a year and a half. Also I would be remiss to omit @kyurilin who might as well get bonus credits for the Nutstang

What's your all-time favorite ship?

I have been in fandom spaces for over a decade YOU CAN'T JUST MAKE ME CHOOSE A SINGLE ALL-TIME FAVORITE IT'S IMPOSSIBLE. Perhaps a low-commitment list of OTPs from across the years:

Erasermic (obviously)

Edwin (FMA)

Netteflix (FE3H)

Asanoya (HQ!!)

Kanej (6 of Crows)

Yuchi (FB)

Asucaga (MSGS)

Soukana (FMP)

Maiko (ATLA)

Hanvi (DB)

Nejiten (Naruto)

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

Probably any of the Fire Emblem or Fruits Basket fics I started drafting in 2020/2021 before I figured out how to write fic lol

What are your writing strengths?

People tell me I am good at characterization! I think I'm also good at describing a setting, a skill that I exercise often in my technical writing.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Exposition, my nemesis. A necessary evil, but it's like pulling teeth, every time.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Short answer: I just. Don't.

Longer answer: I think there's a time and place for it, and I've seen both well-executed and clunky ways of doing it. I've never seen a need for it yet in anything I've written.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

BNHA was the first fandom I published anything for, though honourable mention goes to Fruits Basket and FE3H for convincing me that I can tell my own stories (and then get stuck trying to figure out how to write fiction woops).

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

Idk man I'm just vibing in my lane of erasermic et al right now

What's your favorite fic you've written?

Listen it's gotta be 9L. This fic is the reason I have made so many friends in this community. People have drawn fanart for it (one of which now lives permanently on my desk in the form of a mousepad, thank u Dragon). It is the story that got me into writing fic because it was a story that nobody else was telling, so I wrote the story that I wanted to read.

People still get to the endnotes on 9L and are like THIS IS YOUR FIRST FIC???? and yeah. I started writing fanfiction at the tender age of 28 and the first thing I decided was worth sharing is still my magnum opus. Anyone can write fic! Find a writer whose style you like, emulate it, and write the story you want to read. It's that simple.

[grif-hawaiian-rolls]

What if i talked about silly chorus ocs and their dynamics with canon characters huh

And by canon character i do mean just the lieutenants. For now

Pavoz and Bitters have mutual beef, in that they both hate each other and will gladly pick a fight for no other reason than “he was being annoying” but there is also a mutual respect to it- bitters will admit pavoz is a damn good gunman, pavoz would trust bitters behind the wheel over just about anyone in the federal army any day of the week. Sorta makes you wonder if they knew each other before picking their sides

Palomo and Micce have a very very one sided rivalry, in that Palomo keeps trying to start shit and Micce responds with ‘lmao and then what’— this is mostly bc Micce simply does Not have any fucks to give, and Palomo has taken that as a Personal Insult. At least the other Feds have the decency to insult him back and give him a reason to be bitchy about having to work with them!!

Micce genuinely is so laid back. He’s a lying asshole, but he’s so mellow that half the time no one expects him to be the problem. Bitters is conflicted about this. On one hand- seems like a chill dude, the kinda guy Bitters might be able to vibe with…if you ignore the fed thing which hey, they’re supposed to be working together now. On the other- he hangs out with Pavoz. Willingly. Fuck that.

Palomo is a little intimidated by Pavoz which he would never admit to, except maybe if Agent Washington asked. Or Captain Tucker. Or Andersmith. Or Bitters. He’s never admit it to Jensen, at least. Supposedly. It doesn’t matter that Pavoz is a full four inches shorter than Palomo, okay, the fed can carry a fucking chain gun! He’s got the heavy artillery certification and the fancy red stripes armor to go with it! That is intimidating!

Pavoz doesn’t entirely know who Palomo is. The rebel that screeches insults at any fed in his line of sight? Do you have any idea how little that narrows it down

Andersmith is… flustered. By Micce. Which, is baffling to everyone involved except Andersmith and Micce, but thats because Micce will completely deadpan mention he wants to climb Andersmith like a tree and honestly no one is sure if he means it as a joke or not. It’s… really hard to tell with Micce. Andersmith himself isn’t entirely sure if it’d be better as a joke or not

That said, Andersmith does have a fair respect for Pavoz as a fellow soldier! Especially because Pavoz is willing to discuss and debate matters calmly (that is, as long as Bitters isnt present) and it’s kinda nice to have a chance to actually honestly discuss grievances on both sides. At least Pavoz is brave enough to admit that the Federal Army weren’t handling the civil war well. Andersmith thinks it takes courage to admit you were following the wrong orders. Even if it is in hindsight. Still, would’ve been nice for them to realize it sooner

Pavoz and Micce both respectfully keep their distance from Jensen, especially in the motor pool. They really really don’t want to see how their bizarre luck plays with her driving skills. I don’t think anyone can blame them

That said, Pavoz did email her the federal army’s categorizing and requisition request form system. From the other side of Armonia, but still. If she’s gonna help Captain Simmons in the armory, or Lopez in the garage and the armory, then she should know how the system works at least. Its only polite after all

Ivia Soares has the least amount of issues with anyone. Maybe because she’s a medic and picking a fight with a (competent) medic is just a bad idea even to these idiots. Maybe because a lot of people think she’s Dr Grey at a glance because of the matching federal army armor with purple trim. Never mind that Soares is clearly in an indigo trim, not the orchid trim that Dr Grey wears. Because Soares is a field medic, not a Doctor, and the distinction in color is very important. That’s why the federal army is color coordinated for fucks sake!

Soares is also like, two inches taller. The armor doesn’t add that much bulk, surely.

Soares is roommates with a rebel medic named Suzuki (or Suzy for short) while both armies are in Armonia. They actually get along really well, once they get past the initial Fed vs New tension. Girl talk helps. Specifically, talking about hot girls. Like Volleyball and the rest of Red/Maroon team. Soares asks if Kimball is hot, Suzy has a minor crisis bc does she really want to go down that rabbit hole?

The agreement is yes, Kimball is hot. Please don’t let the conversation leave their shared room. Dr Grey is also hot, and Ivia informs Suzy she’s welcome to share that information because it means more people will come in for checkups to get a chance at seeing Dr Grey without her helmet. Dr Grey never takes off her helmet, but Suzy can respect the psychological games the fed medics play to get people to actually go to their checkups.

Soares hangs out with Bitters and Andersmith almost as much as she will hang out with Pavoz and Micce. This does not help the rumors that Bitters and Pavoz knew each other before becoming soldiers because if you know Soares and Pavoz you know they were friends as kids growing up on Chorus. Soares herself will not confirm or deny Pavoz and Bitters knowing each other, and asking either of them just starts a fight.

Out of armor, Pavoz and Micce frequently get mistaken for Rebels. Pavoz’s piercings and Micce’s frankly ridiculous hair are so non-regulation that assumptions get made by both armies. Pavoz won’t point it out but will quietly excuse himself from situations when it comes up. Micce leans into it a little too much. Soares doesn’t run into the problem often herself, but she will be the one to drag Micce away from causing problems for either or both armies

Micce likes Matthews. Well. He likes bothering Matthews. It’s like he made it his personal mission to see how many times he can make Matthews squeak like a dog toy

Matthews is doing his Very Best to maintain a working relationship with the feds, as he’s supposed to. Don’t want to let the captains down!! Or worse- the generals!!! Micce is… friendly? He’s awfully good at sneaking up on Matthews and Matthews really really wishes Micce wouldn’t do that, but it’s not really hurting anyone so… for the sake of getting along, Matthews doesn’t say anything! Definitely the only reason, not because Micce has a nice laugh, or because it’s nice to be noticed regularly even if it is for pranks.

Micce can fit into vents. Somehow. Bitters wants to recruit him for Orange team kitchen raids. He hasn’t because he doesn’t entirely trust Micce to not rat them out. Bitters doesn’t realize Micce uses his vent crawling skills for thievery anyways. Just not from the kitchens (why do the officer showers get to hoard all the good shampoo and conditioner anyways? If they didn’t want it to get stolen, they would simply share it in the first place)

Pavoz technically qualifies to be a lieutenant but because he’s not been officially assigned to any commanding officer in a while, he can’t get the promotion. Locus didn’t count, because he never officially joined the federal army and thus wasn’t technically an officer. Same for the reds. The federal army’s bureaucratic nature bites its own soldiers in the ass sometimes.

Micce is good at mimic voices. He charges $10 or a decent snack to make joke recordings for pranks. $20 and a good snack will net you a recording of someone higher ranking saying something stupid or in same cases, giving praise. Matthews has sacrificed so many snacks to get a handful of recordings of Micce mimicking Captain Grif. Micce has one rule— the recordings never get shared. Ever. He knows the power he wields, and knows if he gets caught, he’s screwed.

McCallister and Ghanoush are his second most popular clients for Micce’s voice acting after Matthews. Turns out they have a lot of use for clear audio recordings of things otherwise lost in background noise! Like Palomo practicing telling Jensen he likes more than just her butt. Technically, since they’re only asking him to make a clear version of audio that already exists, Micce lets them get away with not following the rule. So long as they take the blame for anyone who gets mad about the audio being “edited”

Epsilon is onto Micce’s bullshit, all of it. The vents, the pranks, the fucking voices. But he respects the hussle

And the 30% cut Micce gives him when Epsilon takes the time to call him out. What does an AI need with the money? The snack stash? Nothing, but Epsilon is a little bastard who can and will take advantage of a situation and having his cut set aside is actually useful for bribing the reds and blues into doing uh, anything. Its economics, man, trust him

[front-facing-pokemon]

[tetedurfarm]

wanted to take some photos of my van gogh hotots (van gotots?) but my plant light makes them look very ethereal

their mom is smashbox, my severe head tilt doe. because of her neck, she can't get into a nestbox or really pull any fur, so i put her in a small solid-bottom cage for the night of her due date so she could kindle in deep shavings. however, because she can't really pull fur, the kits still chilled a little before i got to them. rabbit instincts say that if kits are going to die, they need to be disposed of, so she had already begun eating them; i actually knew she'd kindle before i got to where her cage was because i could hear the kit she was working on at the time squealing (it was not particularly pretty, the condition it was in. helios the corn snake got an extra dinner that week.) fortunately, the rest of the litter made it out unscathed except for these two, who are down an ear each.

all in all, this litter turned out as good as it possibly could have. all but one kit is alive and well, fostered off to another doe. it was a good sized litter (six live!), and there were miraculously no sports (mismarks) and no boxers (eyeliner on only one eye)! like genuinely insane odds on that.

just watch the earless ones be the nicest ones in the litter 🙄

[dirtbra1n]

directors commentary about Impulse in the shape of Today you are a girl.... and surrounding scene of course.... i love you and peace and love on planet prevpreshanzashiro

hi it’s november 27th and I’m back here again. mindmelding between friends @aranarumei Hi kiri. is something that can be so personal. I’ll go in extra deep on still-unnamed tashiro post current events’ Side note this is why you don’t leave asks out to dry for four calendar months. close side note. extra deep on today you are a girl paragraph when we get there. I love you guys so much by the way did you know this.

speaking to you from the future: I started back on this thing at work, maybe an hour before we closed. that would make this about three hours now.

I’m putting this under a cut.

tashiro’s phone pings with a message from shirahama that reads, If you do anything to screw up your hair I’m shaving it all off your head

ping. And making you eat it

ping. Keep one foot on the ground at all times if you do anything insane I’m really gonna do it

first thing is that shirahama’s here again. everyone say hi shirahama :) he’s a few hours from getting the anxious shakes with no known cause (he was responsible for tashiro’s hair for the girlification competition). shirahama’s here again because he does an excellent job at carrying tashiro through the days and nights, and because the advice to keep one foot on the ground at all times if you do anything insane I’m really gonna do it. is topical always but especially now. he’s also here again because you have to identify a chance at comedic timing and lunge for it hungry with both hands:

tashiro purses his lips. glances out the open window; first floor.

the picture he takes of his feet, hovering as he sits on the windowsill and clad in black crew socks—he left the shoes somewhere else, he figures miyano will chase him down about them later—is waiting to be sent with incomplete text suck i when he spots someone out the very corner of his vision.

set-up is happening here. black crew socks highlighted as a reference to the black sailor uniform option from tashiro girlification poll 2023 as drawn by You 🫵 sunnfish. tashiro’s shoelessness as a cog is working steadily to do its part for a theme that was accidental, clocked, and left in. tashiro almost finishes typing suck it to send shirahama before pausing the action entirely—shirahama watches the typing bubble linger. uh-oh shirahama—because of

the very corner. an unmistakable figure at the edge of the crowd, staring over the living mass of strangers, right into tashiro stood in the window, until he isn’t anymore.

funny thing about crossdressing, see, is the worldview shift. that broad back looks broader, a piece-of-work senpai haunting his memory like a grief-hallucination.

that was him though. there are only so many people tashiro could recognize from the moon and he’s one of them. how many people in the world could possibly look like that.

relative to the rest of the thing, this scene was brand new; I’d written it a few days before tashiro’s birthday, when I posted the lot of it, because Creative process keeps me in a rock tumbler mostly. this matters really only because It was that evening, july third, when it really slotted into place in my mind exactly how prev prez should exist in the context of river. incidentally Neither your asks nor this post is about it obviously but the bathhouse scene and the others related to it are also “new” in this way, for the same reason.

anyway prev prez. from the start it was my understanding as wielder of the authorial godhand that he is, you know. functionally and narratively dead. if hanzawa masato is an active haunter straddling the line between Wanting to live and Being just so so sick of Various things, prev prez is about as passive a dead guy as the average dead guy can be. except for the fact that he is, in some way, to tashiro specifically, an exceptional (adj. unusual; not typical) person. an unmistakeable figure that tashiro could recognize from the moon. unrelated to anything right this second I think somewhere along the way I mindlinked tashiro to hanako tbhk. hmm. Okay well moving on. tashiro has a real certainty on that figure having been prev prez, because prev prez lives, in a very real way, in tashiro’s mind. he’s also a massive Haha. catalyst for the most prominent #tashirogirlification here; his gravity, the masculinity of him, works in tandem with the sailor uniform makeup and done-up hair.

because tashiro is crossdressing as a girl, he feels like a girl. because tashiro is crossdressing as a girl, prev prez (who is already recalled by tashiro in a super masculine way—it’s important to me as usual that Love & Passion is told by tashiro, seen through his eyes, because it says, to me, that those fucking photos of prev prez are also as tashiro saw him. this is present elsewhere in tashiro post, ideas of memory and recollection) Okay that was a long parenthetical let me restart. because tashiro is crossdressing as a girl prev prez Already looking the way he does. looks even more that way. okay great now the crown jewel:

it’s a second of stirring in his stomach that bridges the space between shoujo manga and violent murder. his feet are back on the ground but they might as well be dangling out the window; an impulse in the shape of today you are a girl has him gripped by the shoulders, nearly chasing after a living ghost and using strangers as stepping stones to do it.

hi killing point. first point of discussion is that this scene’s cinema is one of the most vivid ones I see; hands braced on the windowsill, head out the window, feet twitching where they stand on the floor. look up and watch yourself bound over still water stepping stone by stepping stone, grace and beauty completely hallucinated where the fantasy, in reality, is exactly as clumsy and cruel as you’d expect it to be. hup! out the window onto the heads and shoulders of strangers, clammer over the shifting tides of the dense crowd—great turnout!—and emerge worse for wear, but very quick, on the other end to continue the pursuit. this fantasy is only mostly completely hallucinated, in that tashiro really nearly goes through with it. this paragraph I just wrote explains nothing.

I’ll concede: solid alliteration with s in the first half of the first sentence leads cleanly into two sets of four quarter notes; the killing point, to borrow Words, shou-jo man-ga (kiss) and vio-lent mur-der (kill). next sentence in both of its semicoloned halves continues the yet-unstated not-quite run-on capital f Feeling where tashiro’s mind is running 10 miles a minute, but the first half embodies the feeling of Having a Body, the sensation of gravity contrasted by the tantalizing appeal of swinging your feet out the window, void calling as a siren would, and the second half (the first half of it) has impulse (personified) grabbing tashiro by the shoulders (not, by any metric, narrow these days) and nevertheless speaking into him the refrain Where’s your girlish whimsy? the second half of the second half, as we went through just a second ago, has tashiro watching himself (in spirit, haha) doing the worlds least considerate parkour, and closes with another instance of solid s alliteration. I want to put on the record that the alliteration was not intentional but I think in retrospect that it is neat. hit the button and call it time!

one foot on the ground with his hands braced on the sill, he hears, “tashiro.”

sky still looks like rain. indistinct collective murmur hangs over the crowd outside like smog. a metal rod’s pang clefts clean through his forehead, up between his eyes. taiko drums. dwarfed by encroaching shadow miyano calls again, “tashiro,” from down the hall. tashiro’s shoes dangle limply from his hands.

thundering resonance. tashiro croaks, “what?”

continuing on to what I’ll call the second point of discussion: where the camera was—tashiro facing out the window—shifts to lead into I think THE most vivid cinematic scene I see. tashiro in the foreground, caught, miyano in the background, catching. tashiro’s name throughout the whole piece has this cleaving quality I think, where it cuts through where you were to bring you where you are, and here it cuts through delusion fantasy and reckless daze to remind you that tashiro is someone who is more sensible than this. which is why, following “tashiro” the word (ice cold water poured down his back), tashiro the person suddenly sees feels and hears all that he’d been unconsciously tuning out.

prev prez just has that effect on him.

the second time around miyano’s voice is just miyano’s voice, bouncing off the walls a little with the way he projects it, more than a little concerned. by separating the information extra attention is drawn to tashiro’s shoes in his hands, words dangle and limply doing exactly what they were meant to, once I realized something. tashiro’s shoelessness as a cog is working steadily to do its part for a theme that was accidental, clocked, and left in. <- You know chekhov? TFW you accidentally liken tashiro’s impulsively wanting to jump like a girl that chases her first love, shoelessly, to jumping in a way that kind of feels a little like. river…y. in a suicidal way. you see why this is the scene I see the best and most frequently.

well anyway. As for the other things this bit is doing. the atmosphere merges a little with the water. in a lot of ways that cold water reality check description of the scene works just as well to describe the Fucking River, because I can’t ever leave it alone. because it can’t ever leave me alone. miyano is here and real but shadow works as a cloth backdrop behind him, upon which he stands stark and separate from the Fucking River because, even now, Nobody’s told miyano about whatever the hell tashiro and hanzawa senpai have got going on. all he sees is his friend, needed elsewhere, shoeless, about to jump out of the goddamn river, and all he has are his goddamn shoes. tashiro, caught, embarrassed kind of, with blood roaring in his ears, could only say, “what?” bonus points for my use of cleft when grammatically speaking it would be cleave. I have the conch, and I say grammar be damned.

anyway as I finally close this out, I’ll say Speaking of river,

see the tweet in the middle. there was a point on the third of july where I thought really hard about whether I wanted tashiro’s girlification to itself exist in dream time, as a dream, because tashiro post took forever and we’d all seen harusono’s own third year culture festival by then. ultimately I decided otherwise, but I really thought about it really hard. in any case I’m glad I didn’t do that because as I found out that friday following tashiro’s birthday. as we ALL found out that friday following tashiro’s birthday. harusono shou was on exactly the same page as me as far as One Thing in particula

aaaaand scene.

[essektheylyss]

I know you said you need to stop screaming first but I am EAGERLY awaiting your thoughts on Essek in the teaser

OKAY OKAY HERE GOES.

The thing is, there's no real reason to include him.

Yes, he's very popular, but he has never historically been included as a default, validly! He occupies a very interesting space mechanically and narratively, but he is still not a PC. Yes, he's part of the Mighty Nein as a group, per canon, but not until the end, which in theory would be well beyond the first season, and so is Cad, who is not present in this teaser—presumably to preserve the mystery around [INSERT MAJOR SPOILER WARNING HERE].

I would imagine that Cad is not present because having Taliesin's voice twice is too much of a tipoff for anyone watching LoVM but not the campaigns, whereas simply having Matt voice someone is not.

HOWEVER.

There are a decent number of lines that you could choose for Essek that are about the Nein—personally, my favorite, that I've thought previously would make a really stellar trailer line, is from 124: "You certainly carve a unique destiny, don't you?" Everything down to the way Matt delivers it (which you can see here) would make it a really viable option.

But the line they went with isn't about the Nein—it's very much a line about Essek himself. "I want to unlock these mysteries. I want to dive as deep as I can into that ocean of the unknown and see what is possible." It's a line that is very specific to Essek and his actions and goals, even beyond his involvement with the Nein.

And it's placed in the middle of the pack, which frames him on the same level as the rest of the Nein! Someone who is not familiar with the campaign would hear that as simply another protagonist. But of course, he's not—unless there is some serious restructuring (more even than the restructuring present in LoVM, which, aside from introducing a few of the initial less plot-bearing aspects later, like the Slayer's Take, it's thus far structured in order), he won't come into the show for quite some time, and almost certainly not in the first season.

But we don't really have any idea how this show will be structured. There are different comments on the beginning from different sources; notably, Gizmodo mentions Calianna being present in some way initially, while no one else does. The logline most outlets are reporting revolves the Nein "prevent[ing] the kingdom from plunging into chaos when an arcane artifact capable of reshaping reality falls into the wrong hands," presumably the beacon (my beloved).

So it makes sense to mention Essek, for, you know, the obvious reasons, as comment on the beacon itself. (I'm going to guess they're simplifying it to one beacon, per the press release, for ease lol.) But this line, while about dunamancy as a whole and the powers of the beacon, is not about it directly. It's still about Essek's interest in it. It is an excellent line, and on its face, it has nothing to do with the Nein or the plot of the first fifty episodes of the campaign.

There's plenty of speculation to be done about how this might be structured, and I'm sure I'll do plenty of it because, let's be honest, I do not shut up about adaptation and translating stories between formats, it is one of my absolute favorite subjects, and this is the Nein, babey!!!

So my point here being: I think there is a lot of room with the nature of Wildemount politics to get a little wild with structure in the translation from D&D game to TV show that, while not impossible in LoVM, wouldn't really have added anything to the story, and honestly, might've taken away from it. Because the point is to watch Vox Machina become the big damn heroes! We do see tidbits of Brimscythe and the Briarwoods beyond the purview of the heroes, but mostly in ways that feel very '80s cartoon villain cameo' which fits the feel of the show perfectly.

But there are a lot of political players and forces in Wildemount that the Nein navigate whether they're aware of them or not, one of whom of course becomes a member of their party, and that's part of what makes their story so interesting. The Nein are the heroes that no one knows, who are always playing within and against the system and are hyper aware of that, and I think expanding how much of that we get to see now that the format allows for it (not necessarily a lot, not to the point of adding whole plotlines, but at least some of it) would only add to the tension and stakes, and Essek's presence in the trailer makes me wonder if they will.

[clovesnz]

Omg also, I was looking through all the snz stuff on my camera roll and I found a whole handful of mess vids that I never posted either cause they didn’t have snz or because I was self conscious about my acne or showing too much of myself. Would y’all want to see those? Should I just post them? I’m kinda over the hangups that kept me from posting them before and idk they aren’t crazy but someone might enjoy them?