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onovnii · 3 years ago

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share your om trans hc Right Now

# obey me trans headcanons

feat. mammon , leviathan , satan , asmodeus , beelzebub , belphegor

summary. my gender headcanons for the obey me brothers

cw. trans talk 😗 , dysphoria

author n. reqs are closed but… anon you dont know HOW excited i am to share these… ive mentioned trans levi b4 but im gonna briefly talk abt everyone !! (and THEN dive into trans levi) ALSO!! i did some research for all the identities i listed but pls lmk if i got any of them wrong 😭!!!

disclaimer! everyone experiences gender differently, so if none of what i say relates to you in any way, that’s ok! these are based off of my OWN experiences.

i’m not sure how to categorize this so i’ll just dump this here ???

as angels, the brothers weren’t created with any specific gender in mind. (to me, all angels present masculine but they aren’t men)

in the celestial realm, since the brothers didn’t really pay attention to their gender identity, they never really got time to explore it. so maybe all of them were some form of nonbinary ?? (i think agender)

it’s only AFTER they turned to demons, the thought of gender came to mind. (some brothers even changed their physical form)

(i wish i had the time to draw these ajwjdcx)

mammon.

bigender , he/she

▸ at first mammon didn’t really care 💀

▸ he was too busy trying to hold her family together.

▸ when mammon became a model, THATS when the topic of gender interested her.

▸ over the years, mammon had tested out nearly everything.

▸ a more feminine form, voice etc etc

▸ she was the first to actually transition ^^

▸ despite all the mean comments his brothers say 😒 they take it v seriously!!

▸ when mammon came to them to nervously ask them to use she/her for him sometimes, they all were v supportive :’)

▸ mammon keeps her masc form (the one in game) but time to time, mammon will change it to a more fem form on will

▸ his feminine body looks relatively similar, just shorter and slightly longer hair (think wolfcut)

leviathan (aka me projecting LMAO)

agender , she/he/they + neos

▸ *i haven’t fully decided what neos levi would use…+ i feel like he’d use multiple sets so its rlly up to ur choice lol

▸ anyway,, levi feels the MOST amount of dysphoria out of his brothers :(

▸ gender gets real confusing for them so he’s been through MULTIPLE identities in her lifetime

▸ for like the longest, levi didn’t know what to do abt his dysphoria…he hadn’t figured out how to change forms like mammon 😞

▸ mammon helped levi the most ^^ taught them how to change their body at will to help relieve any stress it might’ve brought.

▸ when levi decided they wanted a bigger chest, it worked for a little bit! …then he felt a little too feminine n the cycle repeats.

▸ they couldn’t find the right in-between for him so levi would kinda have breakdowns over it 🙁(me tbh…)

▸ mammon was right there trying to help his little bro.

▸ it wasn’t till much later, when mammon heard asmo talking about it, he learned about the existence of binders 😯

▸ offered the idea to levi, which was sort of confused by but yk, went along with it.

▸ the binder idea was great, it acted like a middle ground for him(?)

▸ he could present masc some days, while still having the body he preferred (levi does prefer fem bodies :)

▸ their bottom dysphoria is a mess, let’s not get into it 🧍🏽

▸ levi needed lots of reassurance when ‘coming out’ to his brothers. mammon was right behind him cheering him on :D

▸ every one of them all helped levi in little or big ways :’)

▸ asmo’s the brother who helped him with his physical appearance the most (buying clothes, styling hair)

▸ satan got books from the human realm that further dived into gender (i believe that the devildom doesn’t have much bc..again they dont generally care) to help levi find a label or anything else that could help :)

▸ belphie and him have some sort of solidarity between them

▸ both of them got similar issues so they’re just always there for eachother. even in silence.

▸ levi’s preferred body looks similar to how it is in game, tall lanky n kinda lean? (their weight fluctuates a lot..that’s a topic for a different post)

▸ but it’s more feminine as well! in the basic areas like the chest, hips and thighs. (more curves)

▸ but she keeps the body hair so…pretty much rivals beel when it comes to that lol

satan

no label , they/them

▸ satan already has identity issues..feels bad

▸ did they ever use it to differentiate themselves from lucifer? absolutely.

▸ did that cause more problems for them? absolutely.

▸ satan struggles just as much as levi, but they keep quiet about it.

▸ the only one they rlly confide in is asmo.

▸ they tested out different sets of pronouns, identities etc but nothing rlly fit...

▸ until belphie just straight up told them, they could just not go by anything.

▸ satan prefers not going by anything (honestly no pronouns is the best way to refer to satan…)

▸ less confusion, less things to worry about, they’d rather not think about it.

▸ satan’s form is still masc, they prefer it that way. (they do however, have a more feminine face i.e features. it’s really cute actually)

▸ does a lot of research to help out their brothers ^^

asmodeus

genderfluid , any prns

▸ the girlboy boygirl we all deserve AND needed!

▸ the most comfortable in his gender.

▸ asmo uses ALL pronouns and doesn’t mind what set you use !!

▸ typically their brothers will use a set that correlates to however asmo’s presenting as

▸ which changes a lot tbh…

▸ he loves to express his identity through clothes and always explores different ways to express himself.

▸ never sticks to one thing either…

▸ tbh, asmo doesn’t care for labels. she just slaps one on to make it easier for others to refer to him.

▸ prefers fem terms :]

▸ asmo’s form is a mix between feminine and masculine. at first glance, you can’t really tell (i wish i were him)

beelzebub

agender , he/him

▸ he just used he/him bc that’s what he’s used to and most comfortable in.

▸ still isn’t a man or fully identifies as one.

▸ beel doesn’t really care about his gender, he has more things to worry about.

▸ he cares more about his brothers though!!! always there for moral support:(

▸ specifically levi and belphie. beel knows they both struggle the most with it so he’s there with whatever they need :<

▸ his form is basically the same as canon. (his face IS more feminine tho...like satan its v v cute :)

belphegor demiboy , they/he/she

▸ like levi, struggles a lot.

▸ the worst part about it is that belphie doesn’t care enough to do anything about it.

▸ cue wallowing in your own discomfort for years… LMAO (me)

▸ nah but fr for the longest, belphie hasn’t felt truly comfortable in their own body.

▸ they were kinda in denial for a bit 😯…

▸ once the gears finally clicked, they told their brothers at like dinner and like everyone was like ?? why didnt you ?? say so ????

▸ cue all 6 of her older bros coddling him…cue belphie enjoying it bc he’s got the biggest younger sibling syndrome ever….

▸ belphie grew out their hair because it sorta helped. (and he was just lazy to cut it lol…)

▸ like mentioned before, he and levi has some sort of solidarity going on.

▸ they help eachother a lot (bc they understand eachother the most)

▸ funny, you’d think it would be beel…

▸ i mean, it IS most of the time. but it’s just nice to have someone like you yknow??

▸ his form is more feminine than masc, he probably just thinks having tits is more comfortable 😭💀

▸ their voice is relatively the same.. she was too lazy to change it hahdkcc

-val

#valsfw #obey me headcanons #mammon headcanons #leviathan headcanons #obey me satan headcanons #satan headcanons #asmodeus headcanons #asmo headcanons #beelzebub headcanons #beel headcanons #belphegor headcanons #belphie headcanons #these are all over the place #i wrote these in like 10 minutes goodnighjt

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fandom-go-round · 4 years ago

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Can I ask for an Obey Me! request? Where the brothers (if you dont want to do all of them then just whoever you feel like writing for) make casual comments about weight related things and they dont realize it upsets the plus size reader until later. like causal comments like "oh that's allot of food" and stuff like that. hurt /comfort please! love you!

Warnings: Fatphobia, Hurtful Comments about Reader’s Weight, Insecurities About Weight, Crying, Emotional Reactions

Mammon:

Mammon always has a way of sticking his foot in his mouth and this is no exception. You’re at a modeling job with him, waiting for him to finish up his shoot so you can go to dinner together. You had grabbed a large smoothie on the way over and are sipping as you watch, half curious about how modeling works and half checking him out. You’re almost done with the smoothie when he makes the comment, coming over to hang on a quick break.

“You’re not gonna need dinner at the rate you’re goin’!” There’s no malice in his voice but you freeze, eyes wide as you look to see if he really said what you thought he did. Mammon doesn’t notice, jogging back over to the set as his manager calls him over. The rest of your smoothie quickly goes into the trash and you spend the rest of the shoot looking at all of the models and cursing yourself; of course the Devildom values skinniness like Earth does.

It takes Mammon days to notice that he’s upset you, mostly because he’s too busy running the high of having money again. He does notice when you dip out of movie night and refuse to let him take you to dinner. Everything comes to a head when he barges into your room demanding an explanation and you’re crying.

He feels like absolute shit when you tell him what’s wrong. He blows off all your reassurances that you’re used to this and that you know he didn’t mean it. Weight isn’t an issue that Mammon has ever had to deal with but he does know about being teased and made fun of. He’s quick to beg your forgiveness and make things right. He becomes your number one supporter, buying you cute clothes and whatever you want to feel better. He’s quick to snarl at anyone who even makes a comment vaguely talking about weight in your direction. Mammon would support you if you wanted to lose weight but might pout a bit; he loves that you’re soft and have places for him to grab onto.

Leviathan:

Everyone knows that anime and manga have some of the most unrealistic women out there. That doesn’t stop people from being into it or loving 2D women more than real women. Being into anime before the Devildom had you prepared for this but Levi takes it to another level with Ruri-chan. You shouldn’t have been surprised by the comment but you would have thought Levi might be able to understand, considering his own insecurities.

“I don’t understand how anyone wouldn’t want to look like Ruri-chan! She’s the perfect woman!” You’re mind takes it the way you’ve always taken comments like that: ‘perfect woman’ means thin. You make an excuse to leave quickly after that, Levi only half noticing as he goes into another rant.

He doesn’t understand why you keep avoiding talking to him! An episode of your favorite anime is out and you refuse to come watch it with him! It’s blasphemy! It takes him almost a week to work up to nerve to come to your room and demand answers. Levi is a stuttering mess but when he finally gets out what he wants to talk about you look away, seeming almost as embarrassed as he is.

Levi starts to spiral in the middle of your explanation, blaming himself for being a gross otaku and giving you these thoughts. He know anime expectations are unrealistic (it’s one of the reasons why he likes it) but its another to see it used to hurt people. Both of you end of crying and there’s a lot of frank talk about body image. It’s a good way to bond, even if it did happen for a crappy reason. Levi is more sensitive to what he says and tries to find anime with more diverse characters. He also starts trying to find more plus size hentai… not for any reason in particular though!! He just wants to make sure there is some, that’s all!

Asmodeus:

Hanging out with Asmo can be a blessing and a curse. He’s beautiful and loves fashion and you love to go shopping with him. The downside to that is you have body negative days that tend to match up with Amo’s feeling great days. The shops in the Devildom are a lot like Earth’s; plus size store exist but they’re more expensive and harder to find. Asmo doesn’t fit into any of the stores you do and you never ask to go, not wanting to point out the obvious differences between the two of you.

“You really should take better care of yourself darling, just think of all the things that would look good on you if you did!” You freeze immediately at his words, dropping whatever you had been looking at like it burned you. Asmo had been watching you in the mirror, eyes trained on your hair and skin but all you could think of was your weight. That’s a harsh comment, coming from the Avatar of Lust and you have to resist the urge to burst into tears in the middle of the store.

He knows the moment you start holding back tears that he’s messed up but he has no idea what to do. He tries to explain himself but you wave him off just saying that ‘I’d like to go home now’. You both leave the store after that, heading back in silence. You quickly go to your room and skip dinner, making everyone interrogate him about what happened. Satan is the one who points out that it might be weight related and Asmo has to resist the urge to cry at the table.

He bursts into your room the next afternoon and forces you to get up. You were planning on staying in bed the entire day but he convinces you to have a spa day with him. You’re not mad at Asmo, just yourself. You know how vain he is so it shouldn’t have surprised you. Asmo, however, apologizes for the first ten minutes, practically begging you to forgive him. You have a conversation about dos and don’ts and Asmo takes it to heart, listening to you and trying to understand your struggles. After your spa day he surprises you by bringing out a mountain of outfits; he had run to some of the shops that fit you and got things! If there’s anything you hate it’s quick to disappear but he wants to pamper you and this is the best way he knows how.

Beelzebub:

Beel loves hanging out with you because you love food like he does. Not to the same physical amount of course, but you’re always willing to try new things and go new places with him. Everyone knows that if there’s a new restaurant you and Beel (and sometimes Belphie) are going to be some of the first people in line. Just because you love to eat doesn’t mean that you’re immune to the things people say about the two of you. You just wouldn’t have thought that Beel would say anything.

"That’s a lot of food.” You freeze, looking up from your plate to look across the table. Beel’s eyes are locked on your plate and not his own, even though his plate is pilled much higher than yours. “Are you going to eat it all?” You don’t hear anything after his second question, appetite suddenly gone. He doesn’t wait for your response, eating his own food with vigor and eating yours once you push it over to him.

You stop going out to eat with him after that, hardly eating at school or at the House of Lamentation. Sure, you eat enough so that no one says anything but Beel knows better. You don’t snack like you used to or eat cakes with him, you just eat and then that’s it. He talks to Belphie about it and his bother helps figure it out; when did they stop eating? Why? He puts it together after that, feeling horrible once he remembers you talking about how people used to make fun of you in the human world.

Beel shows up at your door the next day, a box from Madame Scream’s in hand and a determined look on his face. He asks to talk to you and you have a conversation about what he said, ignoring the box even as his stomach growls. He apologizes for upsetting you and says that he doesn’t care what size you are, he likes you for you. If people are going to make fun of you or try to bully you, he’ll protect you because you mean a lot to him. You end up splitting the box of treats with Beel, happier than you have been all week. He doesn’t tell you but he prefers that you’re bigger; he’s a big guy after all and it’s a relief not to worry about hurting you as much.

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not-10kko · 3 years ago

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ok here’s my concise thoughts on all of this, so i can fully get it out of my system. mucho texto.

as always this was just one site, you can still download eosd elsewhere. but it kinda put the spotlight on all matters involving file sharing.

piracy is still the only option for some people for any reasons they might have. it also helps with discovery. to speak from personal experience, i would’ve never found out about videogames in the first place if it wasn’t for downloads, let alone play them. i try to buy games whenever i can nowadays.

ZUN has all the right to do this and he’s been putting all his games on steam over time. one minor complaint i have is i think the pages could be translated. but anyways, this is the right way to go, specially if there’s plans to add the as of today missing games. buying physical is not an option for everyone.

for fangames things get a bit more cloudy to me. i think distribution of the games that could be considered abandonware is completely fine. for ones that only have physical releases, something could be done but it’s up to the devs in the end. if not we have the same issue as with the missing official games.

now, a lot of fangames have digital releases on sites like dlsite and booth. that’s.. fine? that’s good. it’s still fairly inaccessible though. i can’t speak for dlsite, but a couple months ago i bought a game from booth and i don’t even remember the loop i had to make to do so. also was more expensive but that’s a “my country” problem, i dont know how many people might have similar issues.

the solution here i think is to do the same thing zun is doing. the translator i mentioned last night is interested in helping devs bring their games to steam. a game i found through them i bought on release in fact. but again, a lot of that depends on the devs’ interests.

regarding moriyashrine, i think the loss with that site would be that it makes it really easy to find content in the first place. i wouldn’t mind if it got reworked into like, an english catalog for touhou stuff or smth. you just learn about the things and after that, do what you will.

all that said going back to the first point, piracy is not going away want it or not, and it shouldn’t imo. and yeah some people just want shit for free, they exist whatever, most people decide if they’re gonna buy or not before they even know about the game in question. i seriously don’t believe it hurts devs that much, specially in these cases were the product wasn’t even meant for a western market.

also people only react to piracy when it comes to games. manga and music be damned lol

#textkko

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darealsaltysam · 4 years ago

Text

what your paladins main says about you

a comprehensive essay by a paladins player of right around 4 years

this is like really long so i’ll make it under the cut so my followers don’t have to scroll through this if they don’t wanna

(for context i’m a current maeve main, i used to main skye and sha lin and played tyra a long while ago)

Androxus

it’s not a phase, mum

“i don’t care we don’t have healer, i’m really good at him i swear”

you ult every time it loads in and you die before the final shot

your favorite mode is siege because you can fly up and shoot the whole point on ult

you’re usually really stand-offish and don’t communicate much and/or a 13 year old boy with anger issues

Ash

you are level-headed but in a scary way

you will hold the point solo even if it costs you your streak

“get on the point” “guys get on the point” “attack the objective”

you’ll ult to save yourself 99% of the time

good leader

Atlas

you probably used to main lex or androxus before he came out

“he’s like a flank, but a tank, he’s great!”

you chase after solo kills instead of sticking to the point

healers hate you, flanks and damages fear you

your favorite mode is death match

Barik

you’re a former/current tf2 player looking for something fresh

you don’t like working too hard so you spam turrets on the point and hope for the best

“healer stick to me i’m boutta ult”

actually really nice between rounds

but you don’t communicate much mid-game and kind of do your thing

Bomb King

you’re a really old player. you have the beta makoa skin and you were there when lex was first released. veteran’s discount.

your favorite maps are the old ones and they barely show up any more

the team always underestimates you

“who plays bomb king in 2021 lol?”

you need a hug

Buck

“wait, he’s a flank? i thought he was a tank??”

you’re also a veteran in the game

you’re a dying breed. i like never see you. do you even exist?

you’ve been here since like the first day of the game

buck gets so many skins and you want all of them but the best you have is a random recolor

Cassie

sweetest person alive

“we can do it guys! let’s try to all rush the point this time!”

you are the bane of every flank

the opposing team hates you, your own team kind of doesn’t notice you’re there

*casually gets a pentakill*

Corvus

you know those weirdly political kids who like ww2 and know the details of every tank to ever exist? yeah that’s you

but like that’s corvus. as a character.

but no one ever plays him.

like i never even see him do you exist???

you are a cryptid.

Dredge

yo ho you’re a hoe

no seriously the other team views you and they FEAR you

“yeah i just got a penta kill” “YOU WHAT?” “eyes on the point mate don’t get distracted”

hella good at the game and hella casual about it

you like onslaught on the one sea map the most

Drogoz

another veteran, are we?

you’re either useless or can wipe out a whole team in seconds. there is no in-between.

you always have a really cool skin.

dovahkiin, dovahkiin...

“i don’t care about the point i gotta get them trips”

Evie

you bought her because you thought she was cute, admit it

*turns into ice right before dying* *turns into ice right before dying* *turns into ice right be

your personality type is identical to her. no question about that.

always buys faster reload and better speed

strangely good communication with the team

Fernando

gay gay homosexual gay

“he’s kinda hot if you look at him the right way”

fernando is the tank for gay people

you are gay people

i don’t have much more to say

Furia

mum energy. not as much as inara mains, but still, mum energy.

will protect every member of the team with your life, even the flanks

you’ve been maining her since she was first added

i bet you didn’t even know she’s canonically seris’ sister

“we’ve literally failed to capture the point the last 3 times we might as well give up and go to another game”

Grohk

“yeah i have a gremlincore tumblr blog, how could you tell?”

i honestly have no words

you’re kind of like a catboy but a racoon

do you even heal the team or do you just pretend

you were there when lex got announced and thought he was cringe, now everyone finally agrees with you

Grover

he was your first purchased character and he’s stuck around ever since

he’s the only healer you can play well

“i am groot lmao”

you would never say a word to your team

would give your life for the tank but that’s about it

Imani

daenerys targaryen on drugs

your favorite anime is my hero academia

your husbando is todoroki

you see where i am going with this

“team protect me i’m gonna ult” *dies 5 seconds into ult*

Inara

BIG MUM ENERGY

your team is your family. you will protect them with your life.

can only hold your own with a good healer so you have good teamwork going for you

*cutely places wall in front of your ult*

useless in tdm so you stick to onslaught, siege and koth

are you a furry, furry, or a furry?

“victow! dont ult on my tweam pwease! uwu!”

you 100% find her attractive in some way shape or form

you are either a 30 year old redditor who enjoys loli content or a 16 year old teen who is playing a shooter for the first time

she’s kind of cute, i guess

Jenos

i can never tell if i’m going to absolutely destroy you or if you’re gonna kick my ass

*cutely holds you up so the whole team can shoot you to death*

kamehameha

you’re a healer??? i guess???

your character has such deep lore and i bet you don’t even know half of it

Khan

one day you were playing and your team desperately needed a tank. you picked the first one you saw. suddenly, you’re lian’s foot stool

despite 2 layers of heavy armor, you’d still let this man walk all over you

“this skin is really cool, wish it wasn’t behind a pay wall...”

YEET

you actually know the game’s lore, for some reason

Kinessa

i never trust people who are good at a sniper. if you’re bad that’s natural and you’re 99% of the population. if you’re good you are definitely up to something

you’d sell your sister for 5 pennies if you could

you’re missing from the team all game and somehow have the most kills

“we have a kinessa???”

you are an urban legend to your team

Koga

someone’s been watching naruto

you are so shit at the game. like i’m sorry. no one’s good at koga i’m so sorry

how do you have so many skins for one character???

you’re always missing from the point

healers hate you. so does the enemy kinessa.

Lex

quit the game /nm

“who mains lex in 2021??? lmao???”

wall hacks, aimbot, and it’s all legal for you as an ability. you are a hacker in a world of puny vanillas. you like it easy so you go for the easy min max character. have fun getting hated

you think he’s hot and press on his loading abilities just so he can scold you and you can hear him being mad at you

*bonk* go to horny jail

Lian

"she could step on me”

you used to main some sort of healer but switched over when you got sick of everyone being needy

you can hold a point all on your own for a really really long time but the moment your team gets there you start flunking

you wish you had more skins for her

you don’t

Maeve

so imagine this. it was like 2018 and you were just chilling playing the game. you kept getting killed by maeve. in every game. she was in every game you went to and she kept killing you over and over and over again. you got frustrated, snapped, and bought her to see if you could do the same to others. you are now the maeve in every game. the cycle repeats.

your whole team doubts you but then you casually get a quad kill and they just sort of look away

you die a total of two times each round and 99% of the time it’s because you go too fast and fall off the map

you repeat everything she says in her accent because you think it’s cute

“welcome to ze meant streets, kitten!” “can you shut the fuck up” “i hate to cut and run, he-he!”

Makoa

you have the plushie skin or the beta skin, otherwise you don’t main and only play casually stop lying to yourself

“attack turtle go brrr”

you’re really good if you get paired with a good healer

otherwise you’re useless

you wish you could get better teammates because you could really thrive with an organized group. but on paladins you won’t get that, i’m sorry-

Mal’Damba

i always forget this guy is even in the game

you’re definitely under 6 foot IRL

you have an older sibling you always fight with

you’d love to have a snake irl

you’re really chill outside of the game, but when playing you hella rage

Moji

you are so precious

but also such a little shit

you annoy me but i also want to give you a hug

“let’s go guys!! to the point!! wheee!!”

please never change but also get out of my sight

Octavia

you always main the new character until the new person drops

somehow always have enough credits to buy the new champion whenever they come out

you don’t like having a stable main cuz you get bored

you like hanging out at the training rage

hate siege and love team death match, you like your games quick

Pip

you are the worst and best thing to ever happen to this game

you only pick him to heal yourself and hardly ever heal your team

no one notices you there until you ult

then you get focused

honestly you just seem like you wanna do your thing and i can respect that

Raum

you probably go to therapy or desperately need it

“BIG MAN BIG. HE IS BIG. BRRRR”

you always love the demons in media

you like being in charge of the team and wreck the point any time you are there, you like fighting on your own but having a healer nearby is nice too

you probably have daddy issues

Ruckus

you think ruckus’ and bolt’s dynamic is cool and that’s one of the main reasons you started playing him

he’s the only tank you can play

you used to main either inara or ying at some point but chose violence instead

really short irl. you physically relate to ruckus and spiritually to bolt.

“funny goblin man :)”

Seris

certified girlboss

you can hold an objective all on your own or heal your whole team no problem. either way you are SLAYING

“alright. who’s ass am i kicking today?”

mum energy is inferior to inara but still kind of there

i’m like 50% sure you have a foot fetish

Sha Lin

*pointing and chanting* incel, incel, ince-

whether that’s about you or the character you can decide

you like minecraft bedwars on the side

“if i don’t get this headshot i am literally going to spontaneously combust”

really useful when there’s no other long distance people - otherwise a nuisance

Skye

AWOOGA *jaw drops to ground, eyes roll out of head* BOOBA BOOBA BOOBA

you bought her for the tiddies, didn’t you?

she’s actually really satisfying to play once you get the hang of her, but can be real tough on rough days

you need a break i think - maybe play some other game for a bit?

*casually gets team kill with ult*

Strix

you own at least one pretty knife

you played him when he was unlocked on rotation, fell in love, and spent a whole evening collecting credits to buy him fully

“haha bird man”

i’ve said what i said about snipers. if you’re actually good at him you are hiding a body somewhere. i fear you.

why does everyone ship him with viktor????

Talus

little furry child

he reminds me of tommyinnit because he is small and annoying

if you play him you are tall and intimidating

i’m friends with a tall scary talus main

i can’t say bad things please spare me

Terminus

you always ult at the worst time and just get killed again 5 seconds after

“hey losers watch this” *goes on the point, dies, revives, kills one person and dies again*

you’re only a good tank if you cooperate

you don’t

on your own you’re a pretty good player

Tiberius

*sigh*

you think the cat is hot, don’t you?

“his accent is kinda cute tho hehe”

you saw that one ending scene in zootopia with the dancing tigers and it CHANGED you

you are probably a furry. if not your awakening is coming. be ready.

Torvald

you’ve been playing this game for too long

you’ve seen skins rise and fall. you’ve seen nerfs and buffs. you’ve seen reworks and remakes. you are ancient. older than the dragons and wiser than makoa. respect.

people see you on the opposing team and get really annoyed

“the point is really crowded, we can’t move in” “don’t worry guys, my ult is charged up”

you’re really good at all the characters but you like this guy a lot because you think he’s funky fresh

Tyra

you’re either new to the game or have been playing for too long

either way you can KICK ASS but you need to keep behind your team to do the most damage

flanks are the bane of you, especially the fast jumpy ones

you really want one of the cooler skins but you can only ever get the basic ones. such is the curse of maining one of the OG characters.

“bite me”

Viktor

you are level 100+ guaranteed, and everyone fears you

“oh shit they got a victor. flank focus him”

you probably play COD and CS:GO normally and wanted to go with something familiar and easy. your skill from the other more advanced games DWARFS everyone else

but why are you playing “guy with gun 132″ in a game with magical elves and fairies. like come on bro.

you don’t have any in-game friends because paladins is your guilty pleasure game you would never admit to

Vivian

“step on me” syndrome cranked up to 100%

this woman could spit on you and you’d still respect her more than your own mother. good for you

“i’m not a simp. i’m just tier 3 subbed to pokimane ironically”

you sweat the game hardcore. former victor main or he’s your secondary.

you’ve got her on level 50+ at least

Vora

like the maeve mains but somehow worse

bought her out of spite or played her while she was on rotation, now here you are grinding credits for her a day after she became unavailable

honestly you’re really good at the game i have nothing else to say

you enjoy the newer characters more than the OGs - you’re either a former vivian or lian main

you miss the play of the game feature in the game because you’d get all of them with this girl

Willo

you seem like the moji mains at first but show your true colors soon after

“fuck you” x50

you are a trash talker on max overdrive. you need to sit down, do some breathing exercises and have a drink.

you hate your own team more than the opposing guys

when you see a willow on the opposing team you make it your sole goal to eliminate her as many times as humanely possible

Yagorath

i bet you didn’t know she was canonically female until you read this

you don’t like sweating too much so you pick the tank that leaves you heavily relying on your healers and damages

you can hold a point really well so you like siege and onslaught

“are vora and yagorath connected in the lore somehow and do i really care?”

you have a friend who you always party up with to be your healer, otherwise you might switch to another character

Ying

“tanks love me, flanks hate me”

you are too powerful. literally. how are you so strong

you’ve mastered the most difficult healer in the game. the others are really easy for you to play but you have trouble with seris

motivate your team a lot but start shading and trash talking if they don’t cooperate

you’ll gladly play someone else for a long while and like taking breaks from her

Zhin

this is your first main after switching over from overwatch. we can smell it on you.

you’re really annoyed with his personality and voice lines but the character is too good to play for you to pass him up for that. you respond to his voice lines aloud very aggressively to let him know he’s an ass

“YES ZHIN HEALERS AREN’T USELESS YOU SELFISH PRICK”

you try your best but you’re not a great team player

infinite trips on a good day, die repeatedly without kills on a bad one and you switch over to vora or skye for a bit.

this took me hours to write out pls leave reblog and note thanks uwu

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startwithbrooklyn · 3 years ago

Text

THE GREAT ND REWATCH OF 2021 / SEPTEMBER 28-29, 2019 // the bonny scot

posting this a day later than normal because this is one of the rare episodes that shows a passage of time from one day to the next yayy love that for them

-wonder what filming these beginning sexy scenes is like for them in real life

-sooooo can lucy see nancys sexy dream? is she judging? does this mean she likes nancy with owen or nick more? or is she trying to tell nancy that her sex dreams are irrelevant to the mystery at hand and she needs to focus?

-seeing people in the ✨prison chair✨: gomber, carson, karen (voting for josh s3 just saying)

-completely ignores carson's question about herself typical nance

-"or maybe i did stumble across a knife" its like hes trying to make the case against him look plausible while attempting to maintain innocence. this is a slippery slope for carson to try and encourage her to keep her pacified + hide the truth while also trying to keep her from getting involved bc hudsons

-"genetics gets you in the door" aaaaand then she walks in to everetts office to meet him and crashes their family dinner

-ok who tf is dawn and why is she in charge here

-this guidance counselor of nicks is my favorite person

-"i admire your allergy to pleasantries" bess and nancy both have reveals to big families but nancy does not have the graceful, accepting reveal to her rich family like bess does at this lunch. nancys reveal is messy, cold, bloodstained and sticky-fingered, not nice in any way whatsoever. and this little chat with everett (bit of a parallel to lucy's) just highlights how nancy is always bad at bargaining with her grandparents*- always trying to fight on their level but giving up her equal hand bc she doesnt know how to hide it when they bring up something she doesnt know. like confronting celia at the masque: she was so confident with her theory and what she knew, but then we got a "what does that mean?" like. the instant you say that, you lose. and she walked right into the "yes i do have someone, hes in jail" 🤦🏼‍♀️ even in the car with ryan at the end of s1, he literally just fucking leaves her there. like 🤷🏼‍♀️ what did u think was gonna happen sis?? for all she can predict how past things lead to present circumstances shes fucking awful at seeing the direct future *(grandparents except for patrice bc her dementia makes her inaccessable)

-lmaooooo this awko ass portrait...i get the empty space is for nance but who on earth thought this was a good pic??

-LISBETH 🥺💙

-"will u help the claw for me?" george struggles financially to keep her livelihood while nancy is somehow shown as being taken care of even when her parent is incarcerated; both nancy and george live in single parent homes now with mention of both medical debt and george being breadwinner yet nancy has no struggles while george does. (i wonder if ryan had been able to help george here how the story would have changed)

-"when it comes to following people around without their knowledge or consent i am somewhat of a repeat offender" 😂😂😂

-"he wasnt endgame after all" BESS lmaoooo

-"...okay." lmaoooo i fuckin love owen

-i was hoping the girls' faces would be more shocked like with a glance to owen but they just....werent

-"we're the good guys" <---- this statement is soooo interesting in terms of how they structure the show and how the characters see themselves (its an interesting contrast with the more definitive good vs evil with things that are both clearly good and clearly evil but theres also a lot of moral grey area here, the show is kinda swamped in it. are nancy and crew the good guys? are they the bad guys in someone else's story? concerns.)

-"i'd call it more than just stuff" like why did u concede that??? and then the shit about oof that didnt sound like a compliment lmaoooooo why does she suck at arguing?? she and owen wouldnt work long term bc theyre so similar (as mentioned later on)

-i LOVE george slowly falling in love with nick here- hence how upset she gets when nick bails on her for nancy later (which is totally justified!!!)

-i am LIVING for the little nod this driver guy gives bess when she turns back around all nervous 😂

-"i do like buying things" i would so say that too tbh

-"you'd have plenty to talk about" LMFAOOOOOOO SHE KNOWS "marvins dont marry drivers" so diana is totally fine with the gay its just the poor she has a problem with 😂💙fuckin love that

-love how nancy just casually ruins everything for nick/george lmaooo

-"i have seen you at your best, nancy, and there is nothing like it." 🥴😳 i love this still-in-love look nancy gives him thats so strong he had to change the subject

-so is haunting time 11 pm? from that clock of bashiir's?

-how do NO neighbors notice this fucking water and shit

-these are TOTALLY AWFUL fake screams from the bonny scot crew 😭

-"i know well enough not to get involved when he's in play" both carson and ryan avoid engaging with everett even though nancy is willing to do so armed with less info and more balls/ but "could i trust him" and ryan says yes lmaooooo NO honey + that makes ryan 0/2 for helping the girls when they ask this ep

-"find a project of your own" and he does, with his youth center 🙏🏻💙 what s2 foreshadowing!

-"god i wish i still drank" 😂😂😂

-"she is darling." 💙👌🏻

-okay wtf is mirror bay??

-i really wonder about the extent of celia x sebastians relationship here. did she truly care about him or was it just secret and exciting sex? also would love more hints of diana vs celia moments like these. celia doesnt even look upset. i mean shes had time to deal but like wtf. and who exactly is sebastian to diana? not her husband? like damn what if he was. somehow i doubt she'd talk about him diddling celia if diana was disrespected also

-i wonder if celia being so invested in dna testing nancy was bc everrett dna tested ryan to make sure he was his bc of sebastian / other men (which would be totally valid on his part!! but wouldnt it be funny as fuck if ryan wasnt his 😂)

-what a neat hiding place in this frame lmaooo who put that in for them tho? like how do u go about ordering that

-"you certainly are your fathers daughter" this quote is doubly ironic and foreshadowy bc theyre referencing carson here as being a useful hudson attaché but nancy is playing everett just like ryan played celia about putting his house up (but TRIPLY ironic bc carson pulls off the long con of hiding nancy from the hudsons right under their noses this whole time!) the one time nancy is successful against them

-that bess/lisbeth look while lisbeth does something badass (+diana reassessing now that lisbeth has been revealed to be useful)

-"almost as fun as a real fight" why do i believe him? lmaoooo a bit weird that he would enjoy a fight w a partner, but i also think this is an acknowledgement of nancy being an "opponent" who exists at his level. but i also love the "let me take you out" as a direct mirror of her relationship with nick, where she avoids the public acknowledgment/"going out" but prefers the more subtle/hidden arrangements of staying in. but as shown with later eps, owen is way more capable of meeting nancy where shes at, which is so important to her + the only way of getting close to nancy. (the only foil is ace who somehow is able to do both)

-"not always about a guy" <---- this could have been such a powerful statement if the show had thought having nancy end up alone/choose herself instead of pitting her between love interests (nick, owen, gil, even potentially ace, in only 2 seasons) was a more worthy stance to take ; as an aro/ace person i cant tell you how much i would kill to see just one female protag choose herself over a man. and its more realistic to end up alone than have a happy ending anyway, for all that these shows try to be as "real" and gritty grimdark as possible

-"is that what you want?" this is an interesting question to his mother- like maybe he senses her unhappiness? combined with his issues with his father- still trying to look out for his mom? either way it's sweet. (it could also potentially work as foreshadowing of something happening to her, but i think that was played with but then diverted when it was revealed who really killed her) "i think its time i steer this ship" still kind of patriarchal tho. i get that its him coming into his own as a dad technically but still. i also like how he calls her "mother" and not mom

-love that old white people thumbs up at george asking about his clams 👍🏻

-okay fuck dawn tho lmfaoooo

-"stressful dinner huh?" 😂 i fucking love lisbeth so much why didnt they bring her back (wouldnt it be Fucking Hilarious if they brought lisbeth back to bounce bess on her expired visa since the marvins kicked her out and didnt fix it lmaoooooo)

-BESS IS A TOP lmaooooooo i fuckin knew it

-nick says "you can pay me back" wonder if thats gonna come back in s3 considering their "marital problems" (also, those bonds are sosus lmfaoooo if any single person cashing those was looked at sideways they'd confess in 2 seconds that some random guy is handing out bearer bonds they dont even make anymore with absolutely zero proof as to how he got them)

-"you wanna finish what you started?" 👀 (dont mind if i do)

-"i need my dad back" parallels s2 when she asks him to come home

-parent politics: "you are taking your life in your hands / no, i'm putting it in yours" vs "i know well enough not to get involved when hes in play" both carson and ryan try to dissuade nancy from pursuing her pulling this con on everett but go about it different ways: carson is wildly concerned with nancys physical wellbeing but ryan appears to be leaning more towards weighing the odds for her/ like a "you cant win so cut your losses/dont try" scenario which interestingly might have more weight with nancy; its easy for her to brush aside carson's worrying like second nature but nancy has been established to be a determined winner, and ryan speaks to her here like shes a beginners luck prodigy at a blackjack table by encouraging her to keep her record clean by not dealing in this next round. of course she herself admits shes incapable of not dealing in ie "you know me better than that" but i have lots more thoughts on how effective ryans approaches to nancy can be sometimes (saving for the reveal ep 🙏🏻)

-wonder what all carson knows about the hudsons? + that look on his face when he hangs up... wonder if he was just lying to her about knowing anything or just ashamed at having to admit bad things hes done for them

-love nick & bashiir waiting together 🙏🏻💙+ nicks very strong and pointed "good night" as a means of ending his convo w nancy on his terms (gotta reinforce those boundaries man!)

and lastly

-celia + that gossip girl moment when she just throws the whole phone away 😂(wonder if she was just talking to "gus" or whoever that guy was. keep forgetting the bobbseys' dad is in prison too, wonder if he'll feature in s3)

#brooklyn's ND primer #nancy drew cw #the Great Rewatch of 2021 #you best start believing in ghost stories miss drew - you're in one

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sxyurii · 5 years ago

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Hey, I've been your follower for years now and recently I've been through a breakup and I saw your post about it and I feel really sad I don't know how to move on and I just wanted to ask could u give some tips 😢❤❤❤ Love you and your blog so much!!! Sending you much love

Omg hi angel!!! 💕 im really sorry to hear that :( It sucks but we gonna get thru this baby

This will be a long post but also for anyone whos going thru a breakup rn, I'll type out everything that I wish someone told me before 😂

HOW TO WIN A BREAKUP

Ok so im gonna put shit that I know from expierence and as a psychology major so we have some gold hacks here on getting over a breakup 😏 First, I've personally had like quiete few breakups and honestly that FIRST ONE is ALWAYS the worst. If this is ur first breakup im rly sorry but its gonna suck for a while LMAO just remember that first one is the most painful but once you get over it its like antidote for life. No breakup will hurt that much as far as I know. Now lets start. U broke up youre sad, alone, crying, now what?

1. Call your friends. ALL OF THEM. I always felt my breakups before they happened and with this recent one I summoned all of my friends and they were all there with me before and after it happened. Venting helps and emotional support will be the first thing here. You are very vulnerable and sensitive right now and your emotions are all over the place probably. You're sad, angry, confused you wanna kill him all of that shit and having people there with who you can let out all those emotions is SO SO SO important i cant stress it enough. Dont bottle emotions D O N T its tempting but its toxic as fuck and it prolongs the healing. Buy junk food, have girls night, cry to your friends and talk about it until you don't feel need to anymore, cry more. Use all emotional support u can get, ur girls got u. BONUS TIP therapy helps alot. Ive been to therapy to help me sort my emotions out and its been super helpful. Remember also friends arent therapists, sometimes a professional help to guide thru emotions is the good choice too.

2. DELETE EVERYTHING you have that reminds you on them. I personally dont have hard time with it I know some people do but its also one of the most toxic things. Delete the pictures, chats, unfollow them block them even if u have to, mute, delete the songs that remind u of them. Literally erase their existence from your life. Due our brain not knowing difference between someone breaking up w us and someone dying pain we feel is intense and gets to point we feel physical pain. Memories trigger emotional responses and keep opening the wound. You need to heal. Patch it and let it heal. Dont poke it by seeing still things that remind u of them.

3. dO NOT STALK THEIR SOCIAL MEDIA. DONT DONT DONT. ITS LIKE DRINKING POISON EXPECTING THEM TO DIE??? What you could possibly find that will make u feel better??? Them posting that they miss you and want u back??? Nah sis, social media presence of people is so biased and its SO EASY to fake anything. You can misinterpret alot and you might also see stuff that will hurt u. Some of my exes (idk abt this last one tho bc I never stalked his social media since we broke up and im super proud on it) would post stuff that they know would hurt me or make me jealous or just some shady shit and you dont want to go in a place where u know someone just wants to hurt u. You are better than that. Protect your mental peace at all costs.

4. Journal. With this recent breakup I wrote like alot about it, i took my emotions and wrote paaaages. Let it all out. Draw abt it. Find ways to turn your pain in art.

5. DONT TEXT YOUR EX. CUT THEM OFF. its the best for you. You cant heal in a place you got hurt. If you wanna text them handle phone to ur best friend. I know whenever you are alone u will feel so lonely but trust me better call your friend than hit up ur ex LMAO We all still think we want our ex back even some time after breakup. We tend to idealize our exes in our heads and remember only the good times and stuff and then its just painful illusion. I know i did that alot with my exes so with this last one i decided to prevent it. Best way for that was to make a list of all the things he did that would hurt me, make me sad or mad and that i just didnt like abt him. Whenever I would feel im thinking I miss him I would read that list and see he wasnt so good and there was a reason that relationship ended. It will come to point u will see you werent happy and you will be slowly letting it go. He aint shit trust me.

6. Usually it takes 3 weeks for the worst symptoms of breakup to subdue bc our neurotransmitters need to balance again. Love is a drug and breakup is like withdrawal from cocaine addiction. Your body and mind will go through symptoms same as cocaine addict. Remember to be kind to yourself. Take care of yourself. I know for me issue was I would be like "get over it" and not allow myself to be hurt abt it. Be kind, you are going though huge emotional trauma and you deserve all the time and space to be hurt and feel it. Feelings are like visitors, you just have to accept them with out resistance and let them pass. Acceptance is the key.

7. Focus on yourself. You were so used on putting effort and energy into that person. Take all of that energy and put it back in YOU. Be selfish. Treat yourself. Date yourself. Write things you love about yourself. Rediscover your passions. Focus on school. On your beauty. dYE UR HAIR DO A TATTOO DO UR NAILS DO A FACEMASK PLAY SONGS SINGING HOW EXES AINT SHIT Fall in love with yourself. This is something that you will be ready to do when you processed all the emotions in healthy way.

8. Idk did i forget something but just to add this. "This too shall pass". You will heal. You will mend. Never close your heart to love again. You deserve love and one day you will have it. Dont let your pain make you push love away. Breakups are extremely good for self growth and be grateful for it because trust me you will grow so much and you will learn so much about yourself.

I hope I helped at least a bit 💕 I keep feeling like I forgot something but know that you and anyone can always hit me up in DMs and ask for help. Im always open to help anyone and dont hold back. Im sending you so much love honey 💖💖💖💖💖

#breakup #long post

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mattelektras · 6 years ago

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GIRL HEY I LOVE YOU and your blog and just all your marvel thoughts and opinions and your recs tag WOW you got me into comics like THANK YOU AND YOUR SOUL and so i am so curious to know like what are your issues with mcu? like everything i want to know EVERYTHING, every little detail that's bothered you to the shitty casting to the whitewashing to the lack of development LET ME HEAR IT PLEASE

OH HOW LONG DO YOU HAVE. pretty much all of this excludes black panther and ragnarok. nothing but respect for my mcu

it took them literally 10 years and like 20 movies to have anyone that wasn't a white man lead a solo film. like. that is a LONG ASS TIME

not to mention the straight people EVERYWHERE until valkyrie who they didn't SHOW is bi. trust only tessa thompson and taika watiti. let that be the lesson here

and the women and people of colour they DID have in their movies were done incredibly dirty like rhodey (who could absolutely have held a solo movie following iron man 2. or even 1 like. they just slipped in that he’s become a superhero n didn't do anything with it like... really????????) gets shot in the fuckin spine by that piece of shit robot. sharon was set up so well and now doesn't exist. mcu nat i dont even know where to begin

mcu maximoffs/dr strange/iron fist. the whitewashing trifecta. they went for the hatrick and they nailed it. thanks i hate it

but with the maximoffs specifically like. GOD theyre bad. wendy has gone from ‘moves things with her mind’ (not wanda’s actual powers but whatevs we’ll get to that bit) to literally being able to destroy an infinity stone. she’s everything mr whedon wants in a female character. and mcu pietro??? a weak bitch. pietro maximoff would die of spite before he sacrificed himself for clint fucking barton

so many of the movies dont line up with one another like PLEASE marvel directors watch each other’s movies. the russos basically turned up at taika watiti’s house and told him to go fuck himself

or just... hire good directors.... the russos fooled everyone into thinking they were good with cap 2 but what the ever loving fuck was civil war and infinity war

stop with the war shit no one likes superheroes vs superheroes

this is petty and i KNOW movies dont have to follow the comics like. i know that and sometimes its a very good thing, but with marvel they wanna take parts from the comics, sometimes GOOD parts and they wanna fuck it all up and force it to fit into their shitty narrative. like. civil war for example.. had a PURPOSE in comics. it was a genuine grey area and, well written, it could've been a nuanced scenario about how different types of people might have benefited or suffered from it (re: mutants etc). in the mcu, civil war was uuuuuh wendy blew up some people and she used to be a nazi but we’re all gonna defend her because im steve rogers and i do what the fuck i like regardless of literally everything else.

they based the mcu on the ultimates universe???? TAKE THE GOOD BITS THEN!!!! like take miles morales instead of just giving peter his life and his friends

get better actors jesus christ. just. better as people would be a start. ms substitute asian johansson and mr Gun Rights pratt. perish

the chris x3 jokes really arent endearing either. some of em have gotta go

please hire someone with real eyes for your costume department!!!!!! say what you like about dc movies, but they all WORK together. their suits have the same tone/materials/overall look. the avengers look like a bunch of people who have never met before

speaking of, i physically cannot buy the ‘friendship’ the avengers supposedly have. they dont talk!!!!!! there’s too many of them to actually get any solid team development!!! you want me to believe thor even knows hawkeye’s real name??? he doesn't!! and he doesn't give a shit either!!

if you're gonna do a romantic relationship......... fucking stick with it or actually end it. steve/sharon could have been SO GOOD but where has that gone. nat/hulk was hideous and thank god it died but WHERE has it gone.

not to mention the fact that gamora has literally shown no interest towards peter but she loves him in infinity war somehow

peggy carter is really NOT THAT IMPORTANT!!!! people are still out here shittalking sharon, the LEADING CAP COMICS WOMAN, STEVE’S MAIN AND PRETTY MUCH SOLE LOVE INTEREST, because she's not peggy carter and she doesn't talk about girl power whilst wearing winged eyeliner. steve and peggy kissed once like if thats your standard for a life long relationship then im married to like 8 people i knew when i was 15

the general need marvel has to own all of their properties. homecoming was a good movie, but did we need it??? like really???? people have seen so many spider man movies but no one had seen a black panther or captain marvel movie and they both got shoved back to accommodate the 3rd peter parker ive seen in my lifetime

SPEAKING OF REPETITION.... snarky movies led by white men alongside a woman who is clearly more capable than they are but dont get any recognition for it are the same. the exact fucking same

CAN POST CREDITS SCENES PLEASE DIE im not sitting around for 20 minutes waiting for something cool like a hint of a new hero only to see steve fucking rogers doing his ironing or some shit. if its not worth it, dont do it maybe

the colour grading is ugly as sin. if it’s got some over saturated primary colours in it... its a marvel movie

marvel movies are just.... straight up not funny at this point lmao like im not a 13 year old boy i dont find dick and whore jokes funny try again

‘it’ll kill you’ ‘only if i die’ ‘yes thats what killing you means’ is supposed to be funny and i get that but uuuuuh its just bad dialogue and there are so many lines like that. write a good fucking movie and then MAYBE you won't have to fill scenes with empty conversations to take up the time

fuck the mcu guardians of the galaxy, to put it finely. mcu peter is a dick and his altered back story makes him even more of a dick. drax isn't a dumbass, gamora would rather die than touch peter. mantis is a literal celestial goddess, not some old white dude’s sleep time therapist

mostly what it comes down to with me though is that marvel literally does not have to make good movies. they can make any old shit and make literally millions of dollars. barely anyone gave a fuck about ant man or doctor strange, and if you didn't read comics, you likely wouldn't have even KNOWN who they were but everyone went to see them because they had marvel on the posters. and thats pretty much marvel’s entire deal. ALL they do is get credit for things they havent done

oh and fuck vision too

#i could go on #anonymous #q & a

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corruptedinnocentblood · 6 years ago

Note

(ask game A) all for heir, hathor, eos, nerezza, sea bun, juliet and glitch

huh

heir

1: List five basic facts about your OC. used to have a relatively normal life, nice family, always had long hair, used to be close to her friends, knows plant language

2: Post a line of dialogue from your OC.“No….no,no,no… What did you do to them..”

3: Post a snippet from your writing that describes your OC.non existent d:

4: Post a snippet from your writing in which another OC describes your OC.also non existent

5: Describe your OC’s physical appearance.pale, looks tired and exhausted, slightly glowing swirls in hair and pupils, long brown hair, not very tall, somewhat slim

6: Describe your OC’s love life.never had the chance to have one, doesn’t fall in love so easily

7: Describe your OC’s fashion sense.simple and comfortable

8: Describe one of your OC’s bad habits.blames herself for the death of others if she wasn’t able to prevent it

9: Your OC is having a nightmare. What is it?watching as her friends get killed by the town, unable to help

10: You are conducting a ritual. What 5 items would you need to summon your OC?flowers, a black scarf, a blue marble, a black and white photograph of a town, a picture of her friends and herself

11: What does your OC want for their birthday?nothing, used to like blue marbles

12: What does your OC give another OC for their birthday?a self made scarf perhaps

13: Describe your OC’s living situation.stuck as heir inside of the town, creating her surroundings as she wants them to look like, kind of dying a little bit daily since the town feeds on her life energy/health

14: What is one of your OC’s secrets?used to hide a blue marble in friends pockets and whatnot as goodluck charm when they needed it

15: Your OC is given the chance to go back in time. Where do they go and what do they do?prevents herself and her friends from ever going to the town in order to save their lifes and keep her own normal life

16: If your OC could have any superpower, which would it be and why?go back in time for above reasons

17: How does your OC do during the zombie apocalypse?try to hide with friends and plan on what to do nextif already heir, nothing, she won’t be in danger

18: What is your OC’s dream job?has none anymore

19: Your OC’s life is a musical. What’s the title of their big show-stopping song?idk tbh

20: Post a picture or gif that describes your OC.

hathor

1: List five basic facts about your OC.loves pastel, very happy and positive, never seems to be out of energy, very social, based on Hathor Egyptian Goddess of Joy and Fertility : “She was known as “the mistress of life” and was seen as the embodiment of joy, love, romance, dance, music and alcohol. She was sort of the Goddess of A Good Time. “

2: Post a line of dialogue from your OC.“I love the nightsky. I love to be alive. I love that you are alive with me. We can count the stars together.”

3: Post a snippet from your writing that describes your OC.non existent d:

4: Post a snippet from your writing in which another OC describes your OC.srsly im gonna have to skip all of these

5: Describe your OC’s physical appearance.pink-brown short-ish hair, soft skin, green eyes, usually in pastel clothes, 1 pair of wings , some golden accessories and a golden-ish halo in a shape i cant describe well (orb and halfmoon perhaps)

6: Describe your OC’s love life.intense, joyfull, fulfilling, open

7: Describe your OC’s fashion sense.pastel, soft, comfortable

8: Describe one of your OC’s bad habits.tends to not be very strict even if necessary

9: Your OC is having a nightmare. What is it?eos

10: You are conducting a ritual. What 5 items would you need to summon your OC?a pastel piece of cloth, a white feather, a pill (..yes..), a candle, a pillow

11: What does your OC want for their birthday?a fun time, people to be happy

12: What does your OC give another OC for their birthday?something she knows will make them smile

13: Describe your OC’s living situation.doesn’t stay in one place very long, usually travels and meets people, has fun and lots of sleepovers

14: What is one of your OC’s secrets?she remembers what she is and who she was before Eos

15: Your OC is given the chance to go back in time. Where do they go and what do they do?she goes back when nephtys, eos and her were younger and tries to find out if she can prevent what happened

16: If your OC could have any superpower, which would it be and why?fix reality in a way everyone can be happy

17: How does your OC do during the zombie apocalypse?try to find a cure and help people stay positive

18: What is your OC’s dream job?none, she doesn’t like work that much

19: Your OC’s life is a musical. What’s the title of their big show-stopping song?the big party???

20: Post a picture or gif that describes your OC.j..just go in her tag for these

Eos

1: List five basic facts about your OC.probably no moral sense, manipulative, powerful, big influence,changed everything

2: Post a line of dialogue from your OC.“Aren’t you glad to meet me? I think you should. I would be glad to meet me if i was you. “

5: Describe your OC’s physical appearance.wings that remind you of flowers and flower petals, tan skin, a lot of flowers decorating her hair , warm colors, featherears, somewhat tall, hair usually in a braid to the side, halo in triangle forms and 3 circles and one half moon

6: Describe your OC’s love life.non existent. left behind

7: Describe your OC’s fashion sense.doesn’t care so much but usually somewhat elegant or ancient goddess alike looking

8: Describe one of your OC’s bad habits.everything she does is bad but not a habit so?

9: Your OC is having a nightmare. What is it?she doesn’t dream

10: You are conducting a ritual. What 5 items would you need to summon your OC?yellow flowers, flower petals in the color of her wings, a golden wristband, magic similar to hers/her magic contained in a small bottle perhaps, blood

11: What does your OC want for their birthday?i don’t think they celebrate

12: What does your OC give another OC for their birthday?..they dont

13: Describe your OC’s living situation.noone knows, lets just say she has it comfortable and a lot of information about a lot of things

14: What is one of your OC’s secrets?Cecyle

15: Your OC is given the chance to go back in time. Where do they go and what do they do?they have nothing they want to fix or further adjust

16: If your OC could have any superpower, which would it be and why?they have all they want concerning that

17: How does your OC do during the zombie apocalypse?she’s fine

18: What is your OC’s dream job?hmmm she has it if it could be considered a job

nerezza

1: List five basic facts about your OC.skilled fighter with all sorts of weapons, hates guns, can see ghosts and the alike, grim reaper, no memory of Eos

5: Describe your OC’s physical appearance.long hair (brown or black depending on certain circumstances, usually brown though), red eyes, a little pale, ca. 165 cm tall, 1 pair of black wings, black halo

6: Describe your OC’s love life.huhgay probably for the most part

7: Describe your OC’s fashion sense.comfortable, useful

8: Describe one of your OC’s bad habits.carries a knife pretty much everywhere

9: Your OC is having a nightmare. What is it?something happening to her family

10: You are conducting a ritual. What 5 items would you need to summon your OC?a knife, a black feather, blood, something soft, a plushie

11: What does your OC want for their birthday?a plushie and chocolate cake

12: What does your OC give another OC for their birthday?whatever they cannot afford buying but really want

13: Describe your OC’s living situation.no money issues, somewhat careless, soft big beds are best, kind of tends to leave after staying somewhere a while

14: What is one of your OC’s secrets?Error

15: Your OC is given the chance to go back in time. Where do they go and what do they do?wow uh..idk tbh depends on the AU

16: If your OC could have any superpower, which would it be and why?healing because its convenient considering everything

17: How does your OC do during the zombie apocalypse?she gets by fine

18: What is your OC’s dream job?artist perhaps, she doesn’t have the need for a job (or the mental commitment)

sea bun

1: List five basic facts about your OC.very kind, very afraid, eats toxic food because it makes him toxic, has a crush easily if you are his type, don’t fucking bite

5: Describe your OC’s physical appearance.soft, small, sea bun “ears” (feelers), sea bun-ish hair (white with black lil thingies)

6: Describe your OC’s love life.oh boy

7: Describe your OC’s fashion sense.comfortable and soft! sweaters are big love

8: Describe one of your OC’s bad habits.feels guilty very easily and blames himself easily

9: Your OC is having a nightmare. What is it?depends on au, usually something dangerous trying to kill or eat him

10: You are conducting a ritual. What 5 items would you need to summon your OC?picture of a sea bunny, sweather, self made clothes of some sort, a bit of ocean water, toxic sponge

11: What does your OC want for their birthday?cake and affection from someone he likes

12: What does your OC give another OC for their birthday?self made clothes most likely

13: Describe your OC’s living situation.uh

14: What is one of your OC’s secrets?kisses on the neck are his big weakness

15: Your OC is given the chance to go back in time. Where do they go and what do they do?depends on au

16: If your OC could have any superpower, which would it be and why?feeling no pain whenever they want!

17: How does your OC do during the zombie apocalypse?..d..dead..maybe, would feel very bad abt everything going on

18: What is your OC’s dream job?something safe where he possibly could help others

juliet

1: List five basic facts about your OC.scientist of sorts, “black smith” (fire element based, can create all sorts of things /mostly weapons/ in seconds ) , creates humanoids that seem to be their own beings (”the creator”), workaholic of sorts, moral isn’t ..really..a thing..a little bit maybe

2: Post a line of dialogue from your OC.“Tb. No.”

5: Describe your OC’s physical appearance.shoulder length hair with one small braid, orange-ish, warm colors, gold-ish pair of wings, golden eyes, warm, looks kind of tired at times

6: Describe your OC’s love life.song

7: Describe your OC’s fashion sense.doesn’t really care, just, pants, pants are more convenient

8: Describe one of your OC’s bad habits.overworking herself, letting curiousety get the best of her

9: Your OC is having a nightmare. What is it?phee

10: You are conducting a ritual. What 5 items would you need to summon your OC?fire, high quality weapon, golden feather, machinery of some sort, a book

11: What does your OC want for their birthday?doesn’t really care, maybe a potato snack

12: What does your OC give another OC for their birthday?depends who it is

13: Describe your OC’s living situation.possibly under eos, experiments a lot, still creates humanoids , usually lives in very cold areas with lots of snow

14: What is one of your OC’s secrets?the factory

15: Your OC is given the chance to go back in time. Where do they go and what do they do?they stop phee in time and prevent her from creating “that”

16: If your OC could have any superpower, which would it be and why?going back in time ^

17: How does your OC do during the zombie apocalypse?might have caused it, is probably fine, see’s what data she gets out if it while she still cares

18: What is your OC’s dream job?whatever she is currently doing

glitch

1: List five basic facts about your OC.used to be a human, kind of misses their parents and old life, barely ever takes a physical form anymore, still visits arcades at times, very good with everything technological

5: Describe your OC's physical appearance.pink almost shoulder length hair, a little glitchy at times,a little bit pale, green eyes with red in the middle, flowers in their hair sometimes

6: Describe your OC's love life.nope

7: Describe your OC's fashion sense.1980-1990 clothes sometimes

8: Describe one of your OC's bad habits.hacking things just to see if they can

9: Your OC is having a nightmare. What is it?that one arcade machine, loosing their humanity

10: You are conducting a ritual. What 5 items would you need to summon your OC?an arcade machine, clothes from 1980s/1990s , a gameboy, a computer, toolbox

11: What does your OC want for their birthday?used to want games

12: What does your OC give another OC for their birthday?g..games? maybe?

13: Describe your OC's living situation.inside some machine most likely, collecting data

14: What is one of your OC's secrets?their human name perhaps

15: Your OC is given the chance to go back in time. Where do they go and what do they do?they try to escabe eos

16: If your OC could have any superpower, which would it be and why?erasing knowledge of your existence from someones mind

17: How does your OC do during the zombie apocalypse?in their current state won’t be in trouble

18: What is your OC's dream job?used to want to work at their parents arcade

#terrortower #asks #heir #hathor #eos #glitch #sea bun #juliet #nerezza

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mellohyi · 3 years ago

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i fucking hate my parents middle finger emoji /srs

theres a whole vent under the cut thats long i just gotta get this shit off my chest

oh yeah and if im missing any tags lmk, idk what tags i might need

how are you gonna go and tell your child (who is already dying because you yelled at them for not finishing food even though they quite literally found it repulsive to eat because of how it looked and they already tried to eat some anyways) they are FUCKING FAKING THEIR PROBLEMS.

im sorry i dont present the same way as my amab autistic cousin or something???? im sorry i only felt comfortable sharing it now after researching it and finally FUCKING understanding HOW THE FUCK I FUNCTION??????

fucking all that progress getting help and for what. if you are fucking reacting like that over me physically not being able to eat something because the way it looked physically repulsed me i wonder how long you were keeping that to yourself. i wonder if you only agreed to see a doctor because i was annoying you with it, and not because you were finally starting to understand where i was coming from.

i. i fucking got bullied for YEARS because of stuff i couldnt even control about myself. and you wanna go ahead and tell me those things are only a 'manifestation of me reading into it' and not actually an issue. right. i had to fucking be someone i was not for MOST OF MY FUCKING LIFE. AND YOU WANT TO GO AHEAD AND TELL ME IM ONLY SUDDENLY BEING LIKE THIS BECAUSE I READ ABOUT IT. IM SORRY FOR TRYING TO FIX IT MYSELF SO I COULD BE THE CHILD YOU WANTED. IM FUCKING SORRY I GUESS. SHOULDVE BEEN LIKE MY COUSIN WHEN HE WAS ONE FOR YOU TO ACTUALLY BELIEVE ME I GUESS. SORRY I DONT FUCKING PRESENT TO YOUR STANDARDS I GUESS.

my mum. my mum said shes not believing me until my gp says its an issue. she said shes not 'buying it until a doctor says it'. fun fucking fact!!! the problem exists before you see a fucking doctor!!! the reason why you fucking go to see the doctor is, shocker, because YOU HAVE A FUCKING PROBLEM. fuck off if you are seriously going to say that shit i might as well say you dont have depression unless i hear it come from a fucking doctor. no fucking wonder she got post partum depression after i was fucking born. no. fucking. wonder.

if there wasnt a problem i wouldnt have been referred to camhs by my gp or to some place to be assessed by camhs. if anything im shocked camhs even referred me somewhere, last time they just said im depressed and then discharged me. they didnt even provide me anything other than 'you said you are suicidal. are you suicidal? are you going to hurt yourself?' and thats fucking it. i couldve gotten help months ago if my school did something but they forgot about it the first time and the second time also told me its not an actual problem and i just need to study more.

my parents even told me im just making it up. as if i dont already think that. ive struggled with not knowing what was wrong with myself for years. and even then i still told myself i was being ridiculous and couldnt actually feel that way. the problems didnt just suddenly appear because i read about it. ive been a really picky eater my whole life, ive just learnt how to hide it over time because of you always telling me 'this isnt a restaurant' and other shit like that. but no, go ahead and tell me that my cousin would only eat toast and compare me to that. ignore the fact you made me feel like i needed to hide how i felt.

i used to struggle a lot with following rules and i always felt like i had to follow them perfectly and so did everyone else. so i guess im sorry for not lashing out at school and being disrupted as a child? even though i did almost hurt someone as a result of all the bottled up anger i had as a result and only realised i was about to hurt them when someone found me, thats a whole different story though i guess. im sorry for not presenting how you expected me to present even though its LITERALLY CALLED A SPECTRUM FOR A REASON??????????????????????????????????????????????????????

also telling me im only just suddenly hating textures is dumb please dont tell me you have forgotten the phase i had where i literally exclusively wore leggings because any other pants felt gross... and struggling to buy me jeans for years because they all made me feel gross... because thats kinda embarassing of you <3 try harder to fakeclaim my issues next time!!

oh and dont give me some donut type thing to say sorry for yelling at me <3 your actions are not forgiveable and im never going to forgive you. i forgave you easily when you guys used to hit me and stuff but im not being lenient anymore x

i mean if you pay for ranboo merch when it drops tomorrow like that one time you bought me a sims 4 expansion pack when it dropped because you knew i was excited for it and you had pretty much beaten me up the day before,,, i'll consider it (/j it genuinely isnt forgivable and theres no exceptions buddy,,, but you can still buy me merch!)

#vent post #tw caps #tw vent #tw ableism #the thoughts of mellohyi

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likeabulletyoucanhurtme · 6 years ago

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The 100 (questions that is....not band or TV show)

1. If you were on a 2 hour road trip and could only listen to one song on repeat until the trip was over what song would it be? idk it would depend. Could be Neck Deep - In Bloom but also if you go with Dream Theater - A Change Of Seasons thats only like 4 plays :) 2. If heaven or hell didn’t exist and wasn’t a reward would you still make an effort in being a good person? Atheists believe in good. 3. What’s your poison? Vices etc. JD 4. What’s your favorite thing about your hometown? the football team lol.

5. Are you a better friend to your friends than they are to you? It's a mutual thing that we don't really talk lol. I'm a horrible friend to most people but one did say I was angel, which was a compliment cause she’s religious even though I’m not

6. Have you ever ran a red light? I can't drive, but I ignore traffic signs when walking. They're more of a suggestion than a rule especially in Glasgow.

7. Who is the most influential person in your life? I influence myself; fuck all y'all.

8. Give me a hot take. What’s the unpopular opinion you stand by? Love Island is pish

9. What would the ten year old you think about you now? 10yr old me wanted to be an astronaught so idk lol probably disappointed

10. What’s your favorite city to visit/live in? Town lol I don't do visits

11. Tell me the story of your first kiss. She asked me out and I was kinda dithering but then just as she was walking away I shouted yes at her like a fucking lunatic and she turned around like "....oh." Then we snogged :P

12. What was your yearbook quote (if you didn’t have one what would it be)? The romans didnt invent a great civilisations by having meetings. They did it by killing all those who opposed them.

13. What’s a non-sexual turn on for you? Millie's Cookies <33333

14. Who’s your favorite non-animated movie character? The wee old dear from Last Train To Busan <3

15. You fall into $10K and you have to spend it on yourself and not bills, what do you buy? Gig tickets, alcohol and stuff off my list

16. Have you picked names for your children yet? one

17. Do you have any talents? I'm very good at singing badly

18. Which would you prefer: Netflix and Chill or iTunes and Chill? Netflix or iTunes themselves. I ain't got no chill. And no-ones interrupting me if I'm listening to music/watching something

19. Fill in the blank: I want to ____ your _____. _hug_, _soul_

20. Is once a cheater always a cheater true? idk people can change but I'd say the relationship is forever ruined. Someone that cheated on me might not cheat again, but I wouldn't trust them anymore.

21. In one word, What was the reason your last relationship failed? complacency

22. What’s something therapeutic you do when you’re stressed? listen to music

23. What was your favorite non-Pixar Disney Film? Big Hero 6

24. Ruin a first date in 5 words or less. "I like country music" :P

25. Drums or Flats? I thought this was about music or highheels but google says its about chicken. And I prefer boneless!

26. Do you remember your last dream? What about? No idea, I don't remember them much I'm just greatful for whatever sleep I can get.

27. Do you want your kids to go to church, synagogue, temple, mosque? why? Never! I don't want to fill their heads with nonsense and a life of trying to conform to outdated arbitrary rules just so they have a good afterlife.

28. If Gerard Butler, Russell Crowe, and Liam Neeson get into a bar brawl who wins? The press?

29. Looking back would you have lost your virginity sooner than you did or later? Sooner. The lateness was not for lack of trying

30. Do you have a favorite book? Not really but it used to be either Reaper Man or The Hitch-hikers Guide To The Galaxy

31. Fuck Marry Kill? Do I get to pick my own??????? Fuck - "Main Course" Marry - hahahaha no Kill - your hopes and dreams

32. Is college worth it? Why? Yes because its good to know things and worth it to get a better job so you're not working beside me :)

33. Favorite Cartoon growing up. idk I can't really remember what I watched.

34. What’s your favorite social media besides tumblr? I'm on Facebook more but that's just to play games mostly

35. Does your first crush still look good? I don't talk to her anymore but her pictures aren't too bad

36. Do you think starting a gofundme is begging or helpful? Depends on the reason, like I've seen one just for a sesh which is fucking stupid, but like Americans do them for medical bills or some legit reasons.

37. Sesame Street or Barney? Sesame Street! Cookie Monster<3

38. What you’re favorite R&B Album of all time? I hate them all.

39. What movie(s) do you know all the lines to by heart? I can quote bits of films but probably not the whole film

40. Would you date someone you met on here? idk like I prefer this as a more anonymous space to share things and rant about people who actually know me. If I'm doing this right no-one I meet on here should figure out who I am :) But yes I'd date y'all cause you're all wonderful peoples

41. Would you rather be too hot or too cold? Too cold, it's Scotland you know?

42. Would you date yourself? I dont think I could put up with my own shit. And if it was like really my personality in a female form we'd be far too fucking shy to speak to each other.

43. Apple or Android? Android, Apple is a cult

44. What is the first song that you can remember learning the lyrics to? Daydream Believer for my aunties wedding

45. What are 3 of your favorite Michael Jackson songs? I genuinely do not like any of them but Alien Ant Farm covered Smooth Criminal if that counts?

46. Fill in the blanks: it’s not cheating if ___ ____ ____. you haven't actually kissed or slept with the other person and you're only sharing inappropriate messages on facebook and they've already said they're not a homewrecker... sorry, too specific?

47. Could you put your dreams on hold to support your bf/gf pursuing theirs? my dreams have been crushed so it would depend on what theirs were

48. What’s is the title to your autobiography? The Life And Times Of A Fucknut

49. Is there someone you’re trying not to call or text right now? YES! SO MUCH. I want to message her all the time but she hasn't messaged me and i dont want to appear desperate even though I am so I'm not gonna message first although I check every 5mins if shes messaged me

50. What is your favorite emoji or emoji combination? :P or ;)

51. Do you have any deal breakers in relationships? cheating lol.

52. Are you Tre or Doughboy? I had no idea so I googled it and Wikipedia says "Tre is highly intelligent but has a volatile temper and lacks respect" which is so me :) Idk who doughboy is lol

53. Favorite movie? Don't really have one tbh. I have too many I want to watch to bother re-watching something i've seen.

54. How long do you talk to someone before you expect a relationship? when you talk to someone its the start of a relationship in the loosest sense of the word because friendship is still the relationship between two people

55. Ruin a first date in 5 words or less. repeat questions would ruin a date cause it proves you're not listening

56. How old are you and how old do you feel? I'm 29 but I feel the same as i always have

57. Tag your favorite tumblr blog. @evilsupplyco

58. Your house is burning down and your family is safe what is the one material item you’d grab? my phone'd already be in my pocket so laptop?

59. How long until you introduce your bf/gf to your family? theyve met

60. Fill in the blank: All you need in this life of sin is you and your ____. Nope. All you need in this life of sin is you. No and your anything

61. Kobe, Jordan, or Lebron? neither

62. What is your favorite Drake lyric? I hate everything he has ever said

63. Where did you meet the last person you fell in love with? I don't fall in love, I believe I only fall in lust/infatuation/obsession.

64. Do you know your love language? I joined a shitty website to find the answer. Apparently it's physical touch and then words of affirmation.

65. Take a Myers Briggs Personality Test: what are your results? No. I fail at these. The questions are never things that i would do so i feel like im unintentionally lying and it never sounds like me

66. How do you feel about Quentin Taurentino films? Violence and blood what could be better?

67. Fill in the blank: Get you someone who will ______. _worship you as the amazing and beautiful bad ass bitch that you are <-- actual drunken advice from me

68. What’s your favorite movie soundtrack? Spiderman 2 i actually had the album

69. What’s your favorite fragrance on the opposite sex? i dont care what they smell like as long as its not fags

70. Is there any magazine, blog, or publication you read weekly? Nope

71. Will you abstain from sex or go to marriage counseling? Why are these my only options? But I'm not going to counselling, if they have issues then they should just tell me :)

72. There’s two kinds of people in the world: Those who pour ketchup on their fries, and the ones who put it on the side to dip. Which one are you? The one who doesn't order ketchup at all.

73. Rough sex or slow sex? Both. Either. Any lol

73. Have you ever slept with a stranger? Nope. Not that I have anything against it I've just never had the opportunity

74. What’s your dream music collaboration? Produced by who (Dead or Alive)? idk but probably produced by rick rubin cause that guy does eeeeeverything lol

75. What song will you probably conceive your kids to? Music would just be a distraction

76. Do you have a scripture or quote you live by? Nope

77. Finish this sentence: If men had birth control _____. itd be free

78. How long should sex last? As long as both partners need

79. What music do you listen to when you de-stress? Just whatevers next on the playlist

80. How soon should you text someone after getting their number? The next time you want to tell them something but they arent there beside you?

81. How do you feel about the 80/20 rule? Living in lol but its more like erm 20/80?

82. Is sex a determinate in a relationship? Yeah. Why would you get with someone if you're not at least somewhat attracted to them?

83. Is it wrong to move in with someone or “shack up” before marriage? Nope

81. Send me a never have I ever. Never have I ever enjoyed beer

82. What is your favorite video game of all time? Spyro The Dragon

83. Who is your favorite book/movie character? "SQUEAK" said the Death Of Rats

84. Can you define love as best as you can? Nope

85. Does size matter? I hope not, women like taller guys lol.

86. What is your favorite thing about the person you like? Physically? Personality? idk

87. Five Year plan? Go! Don't get fired, save money, get an actual house, buy stuff off my list?

88. If someone wanted to really understand you, what would they read, watch, and listen to? idk i dont understand me so why you asking me?

89. Do you think of yourself as a human being or a human doing? Do you identify yourself by the things you do? I don't tend to think of myself at all really... and why would I identify myself?

90. What does emotionally available mean to you? Someone who is not emotionally closed off?

91. Could you go into business with your ex? Hahahahahahahah no

92. What is the last song you sang aloud? I'd Rather Drown ineverletpeopleinandihaveyoutoremindmewhy

93. If someone liked you right now, would you want them to tell you? They do. They told me. It sucks cause it changes nothing except igniting that small bit of hope id given up on...

94. How do you prefer to obtain your music Streaming, Downloads, or Physical? Physical albums for artists I like, even though it just goes straight into the laptop anyway i still like having albums

95. Name an artist you like that your friends probably don’t listen to. What friends? But erm Archangels Revenge. I doubt the ex members listen to them as much as I do lol

96. Tag someone that’s probably her baby father. this makes no sense?

97. Post a selfie you really like. nope

98. Do you watch anime? What is your favorite? Death Note or The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya so far, but ive got a lot on my list

99. What’s the zodiac sign of the last person you dated? Aquarius

100. Do you know Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior? I know that he is not either.

#me #personal #thoughts #questions #survey #100 questions

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creationsofagingergirl · 7 years ago

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Satanic Bathtub Epiphanies:

Thoughts on guilt

I want to put it out there that Im not a registered member of the church. I might join eventually, but I feel that in life in general and especially in a religion that values and demands study over worship, it's best to get your thoughts in order and be sure of yourself and your beliefs before making such a large step. Right now I'm content to study the books and essays on the subject and spend my free time watching videos by satanic youtubers.

I live in a small religious town of people who claim to be open minded, but who will "worry" about someone who comes out as a satanist and will eventually stop associating with them over it if the subject is at all (even inadvertently) pushed. I'm using my writing to go over things and work things out because I have few friends in real life that won't get angry when I bring it up.

With all that out of the way (and with my ass well covered) I can talk about what I want to talk about, and that's guilt. I only recently discovered satanism and it's been on the back of my mind pretty frequently lately. I was in the tub reading Ayn Rand's "Atlas Shrugged" and my mind was starting to wander. I started thinking about how I felt guilt for having previously succumbed to my depression for several days, before going on a drinking bender which made me feel so shitty that I wanted to try to get my shit back together.

I really started thinking about it. My roommate had been bitching and making it seem like my existence was a pain in her ass. I thought that I felt guilty for my depression making her feel that way, but I had a epiphany.

I realized that I shouldnt and really didnt feel guilty to her. I had done nothing to hurt her or her kid or anyone but myself. I realized that what I felt wasnt guilt at all, but fear. I realized that I was buying into this small town herd mentality of fearing the judgment of others for no reason.

I was fearing the judgment of someone who has no real original hobbies and who spends her free time making cliche crafts and bingeing Netflix, while spending the rest of her life working and taking care of her kid. I don't have a problem with occasional Netflix binges. I think we all do it, but when someone wants to spend all of their free time doing herd activities and then get visibly frustrated when a documentary or anything intellectually stimulating gets turned on, I have an issue. I digress though, thats not what this article is about. What Im trying to say is that I was subconsciously buying into this fear of judgment without realizing it. I realize that her opinion and the double standards that she holds me to dont matter, and that the only guilt I should feel for succumbing to my depression is to myself.

I try to do two things every day. I guess you could say that I have two standards for myself. Every day I try to go to bed a little bit stronger, mentally or physically, than I was the day before, and everyday I try to do somethingfor one of my blogs, be that making an outline for something, working on a short story, working on a sketch, or editing photos. I cant hold up to those two standards when Im drinking from 6pm-6am and then sleeping the rest of the time.

I look forward to getting my own apartment so that I can focus on my own standards and spend my free time pursuing hobbies and indulging in play and drinking. I look forward to not living with someone who holds me to the double standards of a sheep.

I need to stay self-aware and I need to realize that I’m never gonna meet every Joe Randos standards. The only standards I need to focus on are my own. Hopefully I'll make it out of this town someday and I'll no longer have to spend my time appeasing Darwin award candidates and making them think that I belong. Right now, I'm gonna keep working on myself as a person. Whether I fall to depression or not, I need to focus on me and my standards, and I need to distance myself from the "Sky daddy worshipers" and the ingrates that are locked into the pursuit of one "Good Guy Badge" or another.

I need to focus on my own standards and goals and fuck anyone who tries to stop me. A former friend of mine has a thing on his instagram that I need to make a sort of motto in my judgement of people, "Either make yourself useful or get the fuck out of the way."

I can try and understand herd mentality and I can make a hobby of trying to understand how one could ever do something "because thats what you do and thats it" but I need to stay self-aware and make sure to keep an objective mindset.

Thats really all that I wanted to into on the subject. I dont want this to turn into forced ramblings. This is probably going to be a series, as writing it has helped me get my thoughts in order.

Hail Satan!

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eeveelutionsforequality · 7 years ago

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@mod vape, do you have any tips for dealing with hypersexuality or addiction? bc uh. getting off hurts. idk if it’s specifically because ive been doing it so goddamn much or because of the fucking legion of medical problems i have, but it’s DEFINITELY making my abdominal pain worse and i dont know how to stop gjdfjhk.

Well, firstly, go to the doctor about that pain - there are injuries, illnesses, sexual dysfunctions, and all sorts of things from that could be causing a pain like that (it could be a pulled muscle, a cyst, maybe you aggravated a pre-existing health issue, etc), and it's best to rule out anything too dangerous as soon as you can, and to treat anything treatable. Even if it is tied to or caused by overdoing sex/masturbation, just mitigating that habit isn't guaranteed to fix it.

I was getting some pretty bad pain from even small dildos/vibrators, and I decided to go to the doctor in case it was something dangerous - thankfully, it turned out to just be a sexual dysfunction (basically spasms and tightening of the muscles in the vagina, in my case caused by trauma). I was supposed to get therapy for it, but I never went because I was having another therapy at the time and my carer was like "But what if they cancel each other out!?" and I was like "That's not how it works..." Sometimes it acts up but I think I've got it mostly under control. I've also had to go to the doctor for sprained/strained wrists more times than I would like to admit... I used to be like "Oh I played my guitar for too long" or "Oh I think I leant on my walking stick for too long" and now I'm just like "Wanker's cramp".

Trust me and my plethora of injuries when I say that doctors are professionals, they went to medical school, they see genitalia on a daily basis, they've seen eyes and ears and giant sores full of puss... it's really rare to get a doctor that will look down upon or judge you for that. Sure you'll get the odd "You should masturbate less", "Here's a big speech about the risks of STDs and pregnancy", "Have you told your therapist about this", but it's more of an "I'm contractually obliged to impart medical advice" than an "I think you're gross" 99% of the time.

Secondly, I do have tips, but I'm still hella bad at dealing with my own issues - I still smoke more than I want to, drink til I puke, sleep with strangers, lose days to laying in bed alone, have an aching pain in my wrists, etc. Obviously I don't have all of the answers, so I can't promise that they'll be the best tips in the world - it's worth doing some more research of your own, and it might be worth talking to your doctor/therapist if you can't manage it on your own.

You haven't given much detail about how specifically it affects you or what the addiction is to (sexual stuff in general, masturbation, casual sex, porn, etc), so I'm going to try to cover as much as I can (like dealing with sexual thoughts about people in your life, limiting the number of times you masturbate, etc) and I hope that at least some of what I say is useful to you.

Okay, so the first tip I have is: try not to slip into the mentality that cold turkey is the only way to go if it's not what you want - thinking "I can't have this. I'm not allowed this." can increase cravings. Thinking "I'm allowed this later... if I stay motivated not to do it now and if I only do it in moderation, and it's gonna be great." can make waiting out those cravings a lot easier, provided you have the self-control to not slip back into a bad habit after once.

Ways to avoid slipping back into bad habits include: having time (or number of the thing) limits for when and how long you are allowed, having something to do afterwards that takes your mind off it (for example "once I've done it once, I have to get up, take out the rubbish, email my boss, read that global warming article, and get ready for bed"), other rewards/punishments (put a book you really want in your Amazon basket then click "save for later", if at the end of the fortnight you've accomplished your goal then buy the book, if you fail the fortnight resets and you have to wait two more weeks - set smaller goals with smaller rewards, and larger goals with larger rewards), keeping and going over a diary so that you can see what worked and what didn't, if there's a pattern to failures, progress even if you're not meeting goals (at which point try to make the upcoming goals a little easier since you're expecting too much of yourself), and so on.

Secondly, and it's the most generic tip ever but it's SUPER important for addictions because they can damage your pre-frontal cortex... healthy diet, exercise, meditation, mental exercises, getting some sun, and other daily tasks are super important.

You need to get into the habit of something like reading or pottery or drawing for at least half an hour to an hour every day - turn off your internet, games, distractions, and maintain concentration on what you're doing. This helps repair the effects that addictions can have on your pre-frontal cortex and dopamine receptors by activating the parts of your brain that work towards maintained motivation and focus for smaller or distant rewards, which in turn will help your brain work normally again, which in turn will increase motivation and willpower.

Cooking more difficult meals will have similar benefits and a healthy diet improves your overall health. Exercise does the same even more effectively than either, and it has the added bonus of energizing you, increasing your focus on other tasks that you do afterwards, various health benefits, lifting your mood, and helping you be tired by the end of the day so that you'll be able to sleep easier - insomnia is a really dangerous trigger for any addiction, but especially a masturbation or sex addiction, because you're in an environment that is associated with that behaviour and the behaviour makes it easier to sleep afterwards, so you've every reason to start doing it if you find yourself unable to sleep.

Which brings me on to another reason why keeping a diary is especially important - you need to isolate your triggers. Establish what happened immediately before the behaviour, what you were thinking, and what potentially led to the behaviour. Then you can work towards either avoiding those triggers, lessening them, being mindful of them, or training yourself to exhibit a different behaviour in response to them - for example, if having a shower triggers you to masturbate, try singing in the shower instead, training your brain to react to showers with the urge to sing instead of the urge to masturbate.

You might also want to try sleeping meds, so that you can take them, read until they start to kick in, and then immediately go to bed and try to sleep - that way there's less of a gap between going to bed and falling asleep where something could happen.

Routine can also be really helpful for some people - you're supposed to fall asleep between about 10pm and 1am for optimal sleep, and you're supposed to wake up between 6 and 8 hours later. Get out of bed as soon as you wake up to avoid lethargy, and either exercise or go for a short walk, or do something that starts your brain and body working for the day. After that, prepare breakfast, don't watch TV or distract yourself while you eat. Continue the day with a routine that works for you, and you could set a time at which you will masturbate (or maybe a date you're allowed to go to the club and pull... how you work in routine if you have a long-term sexual partner is something you would need to talk to them about) that doesn't interfere with your routine.

Avoid bars, pubs, clubs, tinder, grindr, and anything else that can be a trigger for that or makes quick hook-ups easy - I know that I can go to the pub near me (because there'll be nobody there for that, it's an "old people come here to watch football" pub), and that I can go to a pub or bar with friends if I'm having a good day, but making sure that my flat wasn't within walking distance of a club and deleting dating apps was really helpful to me (it meant that even if the temptation was there the effort required to act on it was too much and took too long, so I'd catch myself).

I also log off any tumblr that I'm following people on that post NSFW, porn, sexual stuff or anime stuff if necessary - just like how I log off any tumblrs where I follow political blogs if I'm getting overwhelmed by that. But it is still good to have a tumblr for NSFW stuff, to have somewhere that you can express certain things, reblog things, feel less alone, enjoy things that you enjoy - don't demonize the side of you that likes sex, don't lock it in a cell in the back of your head, just tell it that it can't control you.

I'm also working on not putting myself in as many situations that can make me feel like I'm being too flirty or as many situations that cause too many uncomfortable or sexual thoughts at a time when they're stressing me - like, I don't come online as much when I'm drunk now, I don't have as many sleepovers, and I don't tend to maintain physical contact for as long (like, I don't hold hands as often as I used to), for example.

That said, you can't live out your life hiding from people who your brain might think something sexual about - isolating yourself is unhealthy. Humans are social creatures and social interaction is good for us, talking to people about our problems is good for us, distractions and fun are good for us. I find structured social plans make things easier - so, I like plans like "lets cook together then eat the awesome meal", "lets go see a movie", "lets go to the town center and taste hot chocolate from as many cafés as we can before I puke", "lets go to the fair" and things like that (that said, agoraphobia is awful and ruins like 90% of my social interaction). Keep people in your life who you're comfortable with and who make you happy.

Remember that what you're thinking or mental images that pop into your head aren't evil, it doesn't mean that you have a crush on them, that you actually want to do sexual things with them, that you can't be their friend, or anything like that... they're just thoughts. You didn't choose them. Just let them pass.

Your surroundings and triggers are incredibly important things to stay on top of though, be that to mitigate stress in social situations, or to prevent you from engaging in more sex/masturbation than you want to or than is safe for you to.

Don't spend your day in the same place that you masturbate - even if you don't live alone you can avoid being in bed when you're in your room, you could get a sofa, beanbag, comfy chair, gigantic cushion, or other comfortable place to sit in your bedroom so that you don't have to be in your bed, and put that in a part of your room with different posters/decoration to those around your bed.

Lots of things can become associated with certain behaviours in your brain, from sitting in a certain place to feeling a certain emotion. Try to avoid being too exposed to those things at times when you don't intend to be doing something sexual, and replace them with other things that make you happy, keep you distracted, and aid in training concentration and willpower (maths games, board games, card games, puzzles, reading, cooking, exercise, drawing, writing, etc).

Even things like separating any porn or sexual pictures in your phone into a hidden folder instead of having it pop up when you go to look for pictures, or keeping magazines or the pornhub bookmark out of sight, can really help with lessening the regularity with which things pop into your head.

Finally, and I've hinted at it throughout this, mindfulness and meditation are things that many addicts find incredibly helpful. It's really worth doing some googling, watching some YouTube videos, and learning those techniques (and it's good to be doing research in general into ways to help addictions or hypersexuality disorders, because there are quite a few schools of thought and there are probably a lot of things that I've missed).

Meditation, like reading and exercise, helps train your mind into maintaining focus, not reacting to distractions and urges, relaxing, letting thoughts pass by, and being less hectic and loud - it also has health benefits, can help you sleep, can help you take time from your busy schedule to yourself (an urge that may have been previously feeding the addictions instead, as they can be linked to a need for control), and can help you work through thoughts or anxieties.

Mindfulness helps in various ways too - for example, smokers found that being mindful (observing, essentially) helped them quit because it led to them paying more attention to how bad the cigarette tasted, and it also allowed them to non-judgmentally observe the cravings that they felt, observe why they were feeling those cravings, and allow them to pass by. It's about letting your thoughts exist, letting things exist, acknowledging them, but not letting them control you.

You can study mindfulness for yourself - research it online, read one of the many books about it, watch YouTube videos, etc - or you can go to the doctor and ask for a therapy that teaches mindfulness (I found learning about it in my own time more helpful, and have had more success with that, but I think that was mostly related to not having a great therapist - plus, online gives me more opportunities to look into the how and why, to see how other people do it, to look deeper into it, to take as long as I need, while therapy was just an elderly lady snapping at me for using my phone and telling me to imagine that my thoughts are clouds and distracting me constantly).

So yeah...

Step 1: Go to the doctors for that pain, it's probably something minor but it's better safe than sorry.

Step 2: Do more research, Mod Vape doesn't know everything.

Step 3: Keep a diary and try to isolate what things are triggering you, what you're feeling beforehand, and be mindful of what you're thinking, what you're feeling, and what you're gaining/losing from the experience.

Step 4: Try to keep yourself away from things that trigger you, but also remember that you don't have to entirely abstain from valuable things - you can train new reactions as responses to those things, you can work on self-control, and so on.

Step 5: Work on your routine, diet, exercise, habits, and hobbies, so that you can improve your willpower, motivation, and health.

Step 6: Research and practice meditation and mindfulness.

Step 7: Set and work towards small goals, rewarding yourself for successes and keeping track of your progress.

Step 8: If you can't control the addiction or behaviour, if the thoughts are becoming difficult to live with, if these problems continue to cause you distress, there is no shame in seeking professional help. You don't have to do this alone.

Remember that chemical imbalances and other neurological issues can cause such things - if you can't manage it alone, that could be a warning sign that something serious or physiological is going on. Not being able to quit doesn't necessarily mean that somebody's "not trying hard enough", and instead of beating yourself up talk to somebody who can do blood tests, scans, or whatever else is necessary to make sure that you're okay and that you overcome your struggles.

~ Vape

#Mod Vaporeon

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byeoltan · 7 years ago

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Hi!! Let me say at first how much I appreciate you, your blog is my favourite one!! Thank you for keeping it interesting and diverse! I have a question. Do you by any chance understand what bts comeback concept has to do with words 'love yourself'?? I got that album is about falling in love, being special for someone and unique moments in one's life etc. But i still can't get why they imply that the concept is about loving one's self if this issue barely was touched upon? Am i missing on smth?

but it was written in every breath they took in producing the album bby TT

their comeback stage showed it all, they could’ve started with intro: serendipity, but no, they straight up went with ‘i need u’ the song that took them to where they are now. they mentioned how everyone cried so much when they had their very first win with i need u, especially jimin. it was in i need u that they realized they might just.. have made it, a step further. if you’ve been with them for a while, you’d know how dirty bangtan and army were treated, like really we were dissed left and right it was really a tough situation especially for k-armys they can’t even be proud of our boys or even mention their names in articles without getting ridiculed just cos they’re not ‘big’ TT and even when we had our first win, bangtan still get called out for ridiculous reasons that’s just. the fact that they made their comeback with i need u shows just how much they treasure the moment the fans that made it possible at that time, i need u was the breakthrough, i need u made them realize that they can actually be… happy now, and move forward. and maybe love themselves more, and performing mic drop afterwards shows exactly that :)

honestly love yourself album is in every sense, calls you to love yourself, if not, more, even when you don’t think you can, just look at the lyrics

just let me love yousince the time the universe was first formedeverything has been decidedjust let me love you–intro: serendipity

and when they say

don’t worry, lovebecause all of this is isn’t a coincidence(even when) we are totally different, babybecause (of that still) destiny is found in the two of ussince the day the universe came into existence, it has continuously been soand transcending for infinite centuries, it will continuously be sofrom our past lives too, perhaps, and even the next lives to comebecause we will still be together forever (no matter)–DNA

doesn’t that encourage you to embrace yourself, despite our differences? and

when you say that you love mefeels like i’m treading on the sky/heavenstell me about forever just one more timewhen you say that you love mei, i’ll be fine even if just those wordsthat you would never change, just one more time–best of me

bangtan treasures us so much as they treasure themselves that they wish for our love to never change no matter how bad things might get

i wonder if it’s a mistake an angel left behindif not that then, a deep kiss?that dimple is illegalbut I want it anyway anyway anyway–보조개 (dimple)

did you know? that dimples are a medical flaw, a genetic defect that is caused by shortened facial muscles, which is why when we smile, the shorten muscle pulls the skin on our face causing a dimple. but somehow in our society, dimples are embraced and carries a mark of beauty and loveliness the contradiction is fascinating how human perception can override facts, and i personally think this is what makes the song more meaningful despite the casual pop tune, because what ever flaw you think you have, might not be a flaw at all. you can chose to hide it by not smiling, but isn’t it lovely when you smile? love yourself.

stopnow stop watching (and) start studying for (your) examsyour parents and your manager/boss they dislike meall those video clips you’ve watched, twitter photos,v app, bon voyage i know they’re so good, what should we dostop. the music video, (i’m saying) interpret (it) lateraren’t there plenty of my photos in your room, anywaywhat is an hour even? a year passes by just like thatthis song is a reward i’m giving (it) to you.good girl/good boy–pied piper

btw 착해 is an expression, a good compliment you usually receive from an elderly person/grown up when if you do well in something, its not sexual guys idk why some ppl imply it is lmao

so when bangtan says this they mean it wholeheartedly like a friend, like an older brother because they know how bad we have it for them, they know how much influence they have on us, as much as we ahve on them. despite scolding us, albeit, in a loving manner, they really want the best for us. unlike the original story where the pied piper drove the children away from the town of hamelin when the town ppl refuse to pay for his service in luring the plague causing rats away, bangtna isn’t set to lure us away, they in fact, want us to go to them, be with them, love with them, but in addition, we have to set our priorities in real life straight, so that, everyone can appreciate our love too, and maybe, the society won’t put much hate on us anymore.

please army remember what we say, love myself, love yourself, i really love you, and thank you

–skit: billboard music awards speech

this says everything hnnggghh

yeah? who said my ‘spoon was dirty’i don’t care, when i grab the mic i own those whole lot of ‘gold spoons’all of a sudden, those that didn’t cook well are in rage, those lot of steaks i’ll chew on y’all over and over again, on the star’s dinner table–mic drop

oh man i need another post dedicated to mic drop there’s so many things to talk about in this

the thing i earn with hard work, my paygonna spend it all on my tummy all the pennies i collect/count just to waste it all (on my tummy)leave me be, even if i overspendor come tomorrow morning and like a crazy guymy savings, if i cash them all out (leave me be)woo there’s no tomorrowmy future’s been seized for collateral woo my money’s all further spent friends, wassup?do you want some?–고민보다 Go (rather than worrying, go)

this whole song is satirical critique tbh even the dance choreography pls appreciate them

and then the outro, which reiterates everything about love and sacrifice, about being the best of yourself, about loving yourself first and foremost

the world is a complexwe was lookin’ for lovei am too, just one of those pplhonestly even i didn’t believe in real lovelike a habit i said i want to love, just babbling like thatbut i found myselfthe whole new myselfeven if i’m confused, which am i is the real meme meeting you makes me wonder, aren’t i a book?or is it you, who are the turning pages (of my book)?damn–outro: her

PLEASE LISTEN TO THIS SKIT THERES ENG SUB AND CRY WITH ME HOW ARE THEY SO PUREE THEY WERE REMEMBERING OLD DAYS AND HOW THEY DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT BILLBOARD IS NAD JIMIN HE JIMIN THOUGHT GRAMMY WAS A PERSON’S NAME AJSHD

theres a reason why bangtan made the skit and sea as hidden tracks, you have to undertsand that bangtan has come a longg way. and one of the reasons why they were finally able to get their first win the last time was through purchase of physical copies, which helped tremendously raise the sales. bangtan may be celebrated and loved wordlwide but back in their home ground, they were nobodies, which is why buying physical copy always meant more even (especially for k-fandoms) since you’re willing to go for an extra mile, its part of kfandom culture for fans to invest a lot of time and money for their group supports and projects to help get their fave name out there, sure you can like/listen to other groups but ultimately, hundreds of idols debut eveyr year so in order to make sure your group lasts a long time, korean fans consider it very important to pledge their loyalty to a single group and support them with all you have, this is why it was even harder for karmys because we come from small company :’)

and now that they are getting success tremendously over the past year (BANGTAN’S #7 ON BILLBOARD 200 GUYS PLEASE GIVE YOURSELFVES A PAT WE DID THAT), love yourself is to be quite honest, an album dedicated to armys all round, and those two tracks are just a little bit more intimate, and more on a personal level, which is why it was hidden from the rest of the world, i’d like to think that the reason they kept it hidden in a physical copy because they know for certain that only their fans would purchase a physical copy, and that they want us to be the first ppl to hear it, to listen to their laments, their grieves, their happiness, their love, they just wanna them share with us first and foremost, because they know only we would get it, because we’ve been there

in the end the mirage is caught andit becomes reality, andthe desert i was once afraidbecame the sea with our blood, sweat, and tearsbut then amongst all this happiness,what are these fears?because this place is originally a desert, we know this too well–sea

#bangtan #love yourself #her #pied piper #mic drop #ill write more about this after i get back from the conference <3 #id id not plan to write this long lol but i hope y'all undertsnd how beautiful this album is :')#did you know?#dilatranslates #sort of heh #dilareplies #also thank youuuuuuu for the love anonie <33

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trickstarbrave · 7 years ago

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im mad and tired so all points of “you should never self diagnose ever!!!!!” are gonna be debunked

1. you don’t know your own symptoms/conditions as objectively as a doctor would! doctors are trained to learn all of these symptoms!!!

its impossible for a doctor to memorize all illnesses, conditions, and diseases. obscure ones or difficult ones are extremely unlikely to have any given doctor be an expert in. and doctors are not always objective-- far from it. doctors are people too, doctors can have biases, and doctors can be wrong. it is very common to go through multiple professionally diagnosed conditions, and sometimes doctors will flat out say “we’re not sure what you have” but give you treatment based on your symptoms

2. its dangerous to self-dx!!! you can hurt yourself!!!

most ppl who self dx only look for non-medical ways to improve their lives or symptoms. people who do it are looking for a community and life-style changes more so then they are to self medicate (which ppl can and do do w/o self-dx). there is usually little harm in it.

3. you make other mentally ill people look illegitimate!!! no one will take us seriously if they assume WE dont have professional credited illnesses!!!

bigots look for any reason to discredit mental illness. if all self dx stops, they will still try to de-legitimize your struggles and mock you/deny you access to care or support. that’s just a fact.

also the purity of ‘real credited illnesses/conditions’ is just bullshit. health is rarely clean cut. rarely is anyone a textbook example of anything. we barely understand mental health and plenty of physical illnesses. all we can do is make guesses at what happens in the brain to cause these symptoms, and there is also a lot of debate in the medical community about how effective it is to even have rigid categories of symptoms when instead you can just treat the symptoms as needed (because not every bipolar person for example will even have the same treatment and ppl w/ other conditions might find certain anti-psychotics helpful in their treatment)

4. well what if you’re wrong and then you have wasted everyone’s time and look like a big faker now? you’ll make everyone in the community angry!

like i said, doctors can also be wrong. its extremely common to go through multiple diagnoses and treatments because one diagnosis is settled on. being wrong or mistaken is okay, and instead of being quick to label everyone as an ‘EVIL FAKER’ the second they are mistaken or their doctors change what condition they have on a piece of paper is extremely harmful and can push away people who are NOT faking

5. self dx lets more fakers into the community!!!

being mentally ill is not some fun old club people are just scrambling to get into. mental illness is not a fun experience. while i will say there are people online who WILL try to fake stuff (much like how ppl pretend to be a dif race or gender or sexuality just to look more credible on subjects of oppression), there is little stopping them from just lying about their doctor diagnosing them with a certain condition.

plus there is more so an issue i think of this mentality of shunning healthy coping and personal improvement that has more to do w ppl mislabeling their experiences than just self-dx. ppl esp on tumblr are increasingly discouraged from talking about or having positive experiences (someone making a post abt how much they can do if they just sit down and focus-- cause they just got meds for ADHD and suddenly everyone is mocking them for being ‘neurotypical’, stuff like that). and this type of toxic mentality will not be stopped by banning self-dx, more people will just refuse to seek healthy patterns of living and never even think to question their symptoms, bc questioning symptoms and not having it as bad as you might have thought makes you stupid and neurotypical.

6. well if there is no issue, why not just go GET a professional diagnosis!!! if its just the same but you get less legal treatment, why not GET IT?

access to the medical industry is extremely limited, especially for mental health. while low-income health services DO exist they are frequently overcrowded and severely underfunded. wait lines to just GET IN for an appointment can be months or years long. and some illnesses require several visits to finalize a diagnosis, or doctors may not have the authority to give a diagnosis to someone under the age of 18. and even if you GET a diagnosis, medication might be impossible to buy without insurance, and medication will probably be one of the first treatment options you will be given by a professional.

this means people cannot get in and get quality care. they may also lack the money to pay for even low-income services or get transportation to the doctor. many poor people refuse life saving medical treatment just bc they cant pay for it. what makes you think they will immediately seek out mental health treatment? until we can improve the medical industry, its cruel to expect poor people either never seek out ANY help, even online for their conditions, until they can fork ove the money and years taken to get a professional diagnosis in an unfriendly industry.

also there is the case of people refusing to seek help because of medical abuse. and those people we should support. this post is already long so im just going to encourage you to seek out stories told by people of medical abuse, and look at the statistics of doctors who lose empathy for patients during or after medical school. this is another serious problem we should correct.

so in conclusion: no one thinks doctors are stupid and cant do anything and that we’re all flawless beings who know everything about ourselves. we just understand the limitations of the medical industry and the fact not everyone can even access it. in a perfect world everyone would have easy access to the medical industry, with no bias, no fear of sexism, racism, ableism, or abuse, and quality care that isnt so absorbed with putting us into sloppy categories just so our insurance companies agree to pay for our medication.

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