#i was a wussy back then

[cursedwithwords]

I was looking at my statistics on Ao3 (never a good idea) and I'm just. So fucking baffled that the jegulus I haven't updated since 2019 is my most popular fic out of all my fics. Like I've written for a ton of fandoms, yet the jegulus with 8 chapters has the highest stats out of EVERYTHING.

I stopped writing it because I was really, really self conscious of my writing and my headcanons, I didn't think anyone would like it because it was such a left turn from the usual jegulus takes. But I also started posting it in 2019 when there really was not a ton of content for them yet. Part of me wants to return to it, because I hate that I have an unfinished fic on my ao3, and I loved the story a lot, but idk... I'm anxious about it... and it's been so long.

What should I do, besties? Genuine question with the hopes of actual advice BTW 🥺

[velvetpoltergeist]

Old ghost excite lol

The grocery store had lime chili chicken cup noodles 😭 I haven't had those since I was in high school! It's bomb 🤤 I wish I got more than I ended up gettin lol

[ao3-rex1223]

𝕿𝖊𝖊𝖙𝖍 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝕿𝖔𝖓𝖌𝖚𝖊𝖘

Pairing: Werewolf!Leon x fem!reader

Tags: Pheromones, monster fucking, knotting, breeding, mating for life, slightly dubious consent (reader is into it), pussy eating, fingering, multiple orgasms, squirting, implied impregnation.

Summary: You and your friend Micah venture with a mysterious man, Leon, in the woods to look for a werewolf, unaware that Leon is the very creature you're hunting. Leon takes a liking to you and makes sure you want to stay with him.

“C’mon, don’t tell me you're scared,” your friend Micah taunts. He looks down on you with crossed arms, his smirk daring you to acquiesce to his challenge. Your friends, all sitting in the living room of your shared house, show various expressions, ranging from annoyance to copies of Micah’s confident stare. 

“There’s no such thing as werewolves, Micah! That’s ridiculous!” you defend yourself, leaning forward in your seat and glaring at his audacity. What is he; a child?

“Where’s your Halloween spirit, wussy?” Micah fires back. “And who says there’s no such thing as werewolves? The stories about them have been around for hundreds of years. They wouldn’t be so popular if there wasn’t some truth to them,” he rationalized. “I even know a guy who can tell us all about ‘em!” Micah gestures for the door. “So, come on, fraidy cat! Let’s go!”

You roll your eyes hard, not wanting to give him the satisfaction. You gracefully rise from your spot on the couch. “Fine, I’ll go if you shut up after this. And when I prove you wrong, I’m publishing an article about it in the university paper with a giant picture of your shocked, stupid face!”

Micah smirks with an air of victory. You both hop in his pick-up, bound for the edge of the city where there’s a dense forest. As you pull off of the road and onto the mixture of dirt and grass, the car lights illuminate a man standing near the woods. He’s a tall, thickly built blonde, maybe only a couple years older than you and your roommates. He wears a dark gray T-shirt and cargo pants, leaning leisurely against a tree. He watches you and Micah curiously. The man makes you uneasy, at best. Something tells you that you shouldn’t trust him. As soon as you step out of Micah’s truck, the man’s eyes snap to you, but not in the way that one takes in the arrival of a new person…he looks at you like he’s been searching for you, waiting for you for months…years…centuries. Those eyes…those intense eyes look into your very soul. 

“Micah…I think we should leave…” you whisper, the entirety of this mystery man's existence unsettling you. 

“Don't be ridiculous,” Micah scolds, throwing your earlier insult to him right back in your face.

“Please Micah! This place is creeping me out!” Well, not the place so much as the inhabitant.

“Hey, Leon!” Micah shouts, ignoring your complaints. You watch as he casually approaches the man who finally turns his glance to Micah, with none of the reverence he gave you. He looks at Micah like it's a chore. “Micah,” the man greets noncommittally with a baritone voice, smooth as butter. His eyes return to you, like you're a precious piece of art he simply enjoys viewing. You find yourself getting a bit lost in his eyes then quickly shake your head and look away.

You hear Micah call your name. “This is Leon, our town’s foremost werewolf expert!”

A devilish smirk slowly creeps across Leon's face as he hears Micah’s words. “Oh no, I just read a lot of crap online,” he jokes, his gaze never leaving you. 

“Thanks for meeting us here,” Micah adds. He holds out his hand for Leon to shake. Leon finally turns his head to face Micah and begrudgingly returns the handshake with a forced smile. 

“I had nothing else going on,” Leon replies and turns to face you. Still addressing Micah, he asks, “Who's your gorgeous friend?”

Micah laughs as if he thought Leon was making fun of you by calling you ‘gorgeous’. Leon shoots him a quick and annoyed, almost offended, glance before approaching you. “What's your name, sweetheart?” He gently lifts your hand and kisses your knuckles.

You feel your stomach fill with butterflies and somehow, you're embarrassed to admit, your pussy begins to heat up and tingle, slick starting to trickle into your panties. With a hard swallow, you open your mouth to answer him when Micah interrupts and tells Leon your name himself. Leon narrows his eyes and glares at Micah, still holding your hand tenderly in his. He turns back to you and purrs your name. “Beautiful.”

“Hey, we gonna look for some werewolves or not?” Micah asks impatiently. His frustrated stare lingers on your and Leon’s joined hands. “I didn't bring her here so you could gawk at her!”

Leon snorts, glaring at Micah as if he’s thoroughly surprised by his audacity. We should leave, you think to yourself. Something about this guy seems dangerous…

After the tense exchange between Micah and Leon, the three of you set off into the forest, Leon having positioned himself strategically between you and Micah. While you venture forward, Leon recounts his vast knowledge about local werewolf legend. “The one here is the son of the original werewolf in this area. And he wasn’t always a beast…he was once only a man. He was cursed by witches who inhabited this area…you know, before all the Salem Witch Trial stuff.” He chuckles almost with a hint of satisfaction that so many women were killed. What’s wrong with this guy? You ask yourself. He continues, “But when you’re the son of a werewolf, you don’t have all of the power and glory when you’re born…you have to earn your stripes, so to speak,” he explains. You notice that all this time, Leon has been talking to you and barely acknowledging Micah who walks silently beside. 

“How?” you ask, surprised by your sudden question. You catch yourself feeling a little enthralled. 

He smirks, pleased by your interest. He leans in so only you can hear and whispers, “Mating.”

Your eyes widen a bit as the comment hits you way harder than you would have thought. Your heart races, your body tingles, and your cunt warms and leaks slick. What is happening to me?

Leon straightens once more and continues on, “Once a werewolf pup grows up and finds his mate, he achieves his full potential; a potent motivator to breed, if you will. As if there wasn't already enough.” His eyes bore into yours, locking your gazes together; you couldn’t look away if you wanted to…

“So where do we find this guy? I gotta meet him!” Micah chimes in enthusiastically. 

Leon snorts with a light smirk and subtle eyeroll. “No one has actually seen him…but there are a few reports every year of hikers mysteriously going missing. They say it’s the work of the beast sating his hunger for human flesh…”

Micah huffs out a proud laugh. “I knew it!”

“Like that’s proof!” you shout back at Micah in response with your nose upturned. 

Micah leans in to Leon, who still looks thoroughly annoyed by Micah’s mere presence, and whispers, “She’s a non-believer.”

“Is that so?” Leon turns to you and murmurs, “You don’t have to believe it for it to be true, sweetheart.” Another shiver runs down your spine, drawing you to him even more. 

It’s like every time he looks at you, you feel this magnetic pull towards him get stronger and stronger. Your mind starts to swirl with images of his hands all over you, touching and caressing your curves, cupping your breasts, and fingering your tight cunt. You swallow hard and hope he can’t see you blush. “If we’re lucky, we’ll come across his cabin…I’ve seen it before myself…but never the beast.”

“Have you been inside?” you ask, your eyes glued to his handsome, chiseled face.

“Sure, I have,” he confirms. He lifts his hand to trail a finger gently along your jawline. A shiver runs through you at his touch. “Would you like to?”

“Yes,” you reply as if in a trance. Leon smiles as he leans in, his lips closing the distance from yours. 

“Hey! There’s the cabin!” you hear Micah exclaim happily. The trance breaks at the sudden noise and you move away from Leon. Just then, you swear you hear a low growl coming from him…but you shake your head and chalk it up to the ambience of the forest and the background noise. 

You take a moment to compose yourself and move toward where Micah is standing. “Let's get this over with.” Your eyes find the cabin. It's simple, plain. There's no lights on, so maybe whoever lives there isn't home…or maybe they're asleep. 

“Let's go inside!” Micah starts for the cabin, his steps crunching the leaves underneath his shoes. 

You grab the hood of his sweatshirt and yank him back. “Micah! We are not breaking and entering someone's home!”

“Werewolves don't care about the law!” Micah argues. You give him a dumbfounded stare, wondering if he realizes how ridiculous he sounds. 

“Micah! This goes one of two ways! Either your stupid werewolf theory is true, and you walk into his…lair and he rips your face off! Or, the more likely explanation, it belongs to some hermit who's fed up with society, and you walk in just to get your face blown off by a double barrel shotgun!”

Leon chuckles from behind you. You turn to face him. “What's so funny?” You try to hide how affected you are by his sexy laugh.

He turns to Micah briefly. “You go ahead. There's no one in the cabin. Go poke around.”

“What!?” You reply in disbelief. 

Leon offers you a charming, reassuring smile. “Trust me,” he says, his warm eyes soothing you. Micah begins to walk towards the cabin, but you barely notice as your gaze is locked again with the mysterious man who feels more familiar by the minute. 

“Good girl,” he purrs softly. He reaches out and places his hand on your shoulder, feeling you shiver. His eyes widen just a bit and his smirk grows. “Are you cold, little one?” He gently pulls you into his chest, wrapping his arms around you. “C’mere.” His body is warm, warmer than it should be, especially since he's only wearing a T-shirt. 

He nuzzles the crown of your head, carefully taking in your scent. “You smell so good.” His embrace tightens almost imperceptibly. He groans, low and soft, almost a growl and you start to think it really was him a moment ago…

His hands rub your back and his lips begin gently brushing against your temple. He lets out a quiet moan. You feel a soft kiss graze your cheek. You don't hear your own delicate whimper; you're too focused on the rampant tingling and slick cream leaking into your panties. Fuck, no one has made you feel this way in your entire life…which may be why you're still a virgin. For now…the scandalous thought burrows its way into your consciousness. Lying with this man feels less like a strange, crazy idea and more like a necessity; an inevitably.

Leon chuckles, clearly noticing your reaction, and you can feel him smirking against your supple skin. He plants a few more kisses to your face, each one stoking your desire like a carefully woven spell. Your heart dances in your chest, aching to jump out of your throat. His lips finally find yours and with his tender kiss, your knees nearly buckle. The molding of your lips against his heats up and turns more feral; before you know it, you're pinned against a tree with his hot body covering yours and your arms firmly around his neck. The night is chilly and yet you're on fire! You lose track of the noises you're making, lost in the haze of his dizzying aura. His tongue slides into your mouth, making you gasp slightly. You can feel the beginnings of his thick cock hardening, and you can tell that if things go well tonight, he's going to split you in half! Somehow, that doesn't deter you, though. This man will swallow you whole and you'll let him with a big grin on your face. 

“Guys there's nothing in there!” You hear Micah shout from near the cabin. You hear Leon mutter ‘fuck’, then he begrudgingly releases you. Micah trots over to you two, looking disappointed. “It's just a boring, old hunter’s cabin.” He sighs heavily. “You were right,” he admits to you. “Let's head home.”

No!

You don't want to leave!

“Um, you go ahead…I'll catch a ride back with Leon…” you say. Micah quirks a brow at you. 

“What?” He asks. “You didn't even want to come out here in the first place.”

“I'm more than happy to return her home later,” Leon chimes in. 

Micah looks unsettled, distrusting. He reaches for your arm to try and lead you away. Leon steps in front of you, unwilling to let Micah take you from him. “I believe she said she wants to stay with me.” Leon's eyes, hardened and threatening, bore into Micah who backs away. He watches your expression which only supports Leon’s claim. 

“Well…okay, I guess…be careful, okay?” Micah replies before turning to head to his car. You nod, having no doubt in your mind that you're safe with Leon.

Leon turns to face you, his eyes full of hunger. “Let's get you inside where it’s warmer, yeah?” He wraps his arm around you and guides you to the cabin. 

Puzzled, you turn to him and ask, “wait…why are we…?”

He smirks and chuckles. “It's my cabin, sweetheart.” He opens the door leading you inside. It's a simple cabin, a nice soft couch, a fireplace, a full kitchen, and a hallway that you assume leads to a bedroom and bathroom. 

“Why didn't you just tell Micah that?”

“Because I wanted to be alone with you,” he reveals as nonchalantly as one might discuss the weather. He steps toward the mantle and lights the fire to warm the cabin. There's something soothing about the warmth that comes from a genuine fire. It's as though it warms your soul as well as your body.

Leon returns to you and guides you to the couch. He wraps his arm around you once more, continuing where you left off in the woods. His lips find your delicate neck and the lustful tingles begin to swirl inside you once more. 

“I still don't understand…why do you live out here in the woods by yourself?” you ask, your brain getting fuzzy as arousal starts to overtake your logical reasoning. 

Leon pauses his sensual ministrations. He smirks, chuckling somewhat maniacally. “My father built this cabin…no one wants to live in town with a monster.” He resumes his licking and sucking of your neck. His palm reaches up to cup your breast. 

You force a laugh, thinking he's just trying to be funny. “Oh yeah, I forgot, you and Micah are both into the whole werewolf thing.” A moan escapes your lips as his hand palms your plushy mound.

He pulls back to look into your eyes, his groping hand sliding back to your waist. “It's true, sweetheart. The creature you were both looking for tonight is none other than me.” His pupils seem to glow an ominous shade of gold, but you explain it away by attributing it to the glow of the fireplace. 

“Haha, very funny.”

“I'm not joking,” he replies somewhat darkly.

“Oh c'mon, Leon…werewolves aren't real.” You scoff, thinking he's just trying to scare you. 

He pulls away from you and stands. “I guess I should bring you back home then.”

“Wait what? I-I don't want to leave yet…” you sit on the couch, shocked. 

“I'm not going to mate with you if you won't even listen to me. It'd be far too traumatic for you.”

“Leon, what are you talking about? It's just sex…sure I've never done it before but…I still want to…with you…”

“It's not just sex. It's mating,” he argues, “if we do this, I get my full powers. I'll gain the ability to shift into a full werewolf whenever there's a full moon.”

“Leon, this is-”

“Crazy?” he asks sarcastically, turning to stare into your eyes. “Tell me, do you normally jump into bed with guys you just met?”

You recoil slightly from his risque question. “No, never.”

“Then why are you here with me now?” He asks, obviously trying to lead you to a particular conclusion.

His challenge stumps you. “I-” You pause, trying to rationalize why you're so eager to offer your untouched body to this man you met mere hours ago. “I don't know…”

“Pheromones, sweetheart. Werewolf pheromones,” he explains. At your curious expression he continues, “I release pheromones to attract a mate. I only needed a few hours to let them work.”

“So…I'm like…drugged into wanting you?” You start to feel tricked. 

“Not exactly. The pheromones only decrease your inhibitions, letting you pursue what you truly want. Believe me sweetheart, you want me just as much as I want you.”

His explanation makes sense and yet still sounds crazy…but how else can you explain how badly you want him even though you just met!?

“So…why can we just…you know?”

“Oh, we can…but you need to understand what's going to happen when we do.”

You stare at him, waiting for his explanation. 

“Werewolves mate for life. If we do this, you're mine. Forever. I'll breed you until it takes. I want a lot of pups from you.”

His words hit you like a blow to the head. Though you don't quite believe him, you can tell he's as serious as a heart attack. “C'mon Leon you don't really believe-”

“Hey, if you don't believe me, you can walk away now, I won't stop you,” he explains with a shrug. 

You know you should walk away; this is all crazy! Yet, you can't. There's nowhere you want to be but here. It's like some otherworldly pull keeps you from running. You stay rooted in your place on the couch, refusing to leave. 

Leon smirks and rejoins you on the couch. He kisses you possessively. “As soon as I'm inside you, I'll change. Don't let it scare you. I promise, I will never hurt you.” He nibbles on your lip and his hand resumes its uninhibited exploration. “Are you truly a virgin, little one?” he purrs. 

It's all you can do to answer through the mind numbing pleasure he's making you feel with every touch. You nod with an affirmative moan. 

“Perfect. Then our bond will be even stronger.” He smiles almost victoriously, thrilled by your admission. His hungry grin only grows as he begins removing your clothes. “Don't need these.” His lips and teeth take in every inch of your body, little by little. Each stiff peak of your breasts and each luscious curve of your waist meets his hot mouth in pleasure inducing suction and nibbling. Your mouth runs dry as you writhe beneath him, never wanting to leave his arms. 

His torturous kisses move to your inner thighs and he takes in your intoxicating scent. “Mine,” he growls, staring into your eyes as his lips descend on your dripping wet cunt. Pleasure surges through you, dowsing your nerves with delightful tingles. His tongue swirls around your clit, caressing it, mapping out each slippery centimeter of your delicious sex. He keeps his gaze locked with yours until the salivating taste of you pushes him into a frenzy. His lids close and he moans as he continues to eat you out. 

You're writhing in ecstasy, breaths hot and ragged as his masterful tongue devours you. He hikes your legs over his shoulders as your contortions become more erratic so he can hold you in place. He's not one to let his meal escape. His tongue slips inside your tight, virgin channel, coaxing even more unholy noises from your throat. He's got you, hook, line, and sinker. You're in deep and you have no desire to get out. 

“Cum for me, little mate,” he purrs. His tongue returns to your clit as he slips two fingers inside your tight hole. Panting, you let out a hungry wail, a cry of passionate euphoria. The band of hot arousal inside you snaps, your walls clamping down on the fingers inside you.

Leon continues to work you through your climax, stroking that sensitive spot in your vault. You feel a sudden rush of fluid from your oversensitive entrance, a complete shock to you. 

“That's it, my pet,” Leon growls and laps up your essence like it's from the fountain of youth. His shoulders keep your legs high and thus your body pinned as you ride out the aftershocks. When the last wave subsides, you collapse onto the couch, limp but perfectly satisfied. “We're gonna need more space for what comes next…” Leon announces cryptically. He lifts you into his arms and carries you to his bedroom. He manhandles you onto his large bed, on your stomach. He disrobes, all while staring hungrily at your naked form. He growls in approval. “So fucking perfect. My little mate. Gonna breed you now.” He crawls in bed behind you, lifts your hips into the air, and gently rubs your ass. You're gushing slick yet again in anticipation, your desire to carry his offspring as strong as his. 

“Please Leon…breed me…” you beg, your mind complete mush at this moment. 

Leon groans and grips his cock, prodding the tip against your slick heat. Your heart pounds in your chest as he presses slowly inside, the burning sensation you feel a delicious pain. He pushes further, stretching you, molding you to fit his massive girth. You let out a long, desperate moan and rock your hips back to take more of him inside you.

He grips your hips tight and slides in the rest of the way, his hips against your ass. You feel a sudden surge in heat coming from his body. He groans again, this time sounding strained as well as aroused. His growls become deeper, more gruff and you feel his length inside you shifting…changing. It grows even thicker and longer, the tip crushed against your cervix. “L-Leon…what's happening?” You turn your head, eyes blurry but perceptive enough to see none other than a massive furry beast looming over you, it's massive cock buried inside you. “Oh my God…” you whimper, breath taken away. Your first instinct is to scream, but a sudden feeling of peace and acceptance washes over you. It's Leon…your Leon. You know it is. You can see it in his eyes. 

You nod subtly, granting him permission to continue. His long, hairy claws wrap around your waist as he begins to thrust hard inside you. He leans down, growling possessively. He licks your neck then bites gently, enough to leave a mark but not enough to break skin. Your body feels so full. You drop your head down to gaze at your belly, seeing the bulge that forms each time he fills you. The sight makes you moan louder. The hot juices from your stretched sex coat his red, throbbing cock. Your eyes widen when you see a knot forming at the base of his length, fat, thick. You resume rocking your hips back against his thrusts, fucking yourself on his cock as much as he is you.

His movements become more frenzied and you know he's close. His grip on your hips tightens further, claws digging into your flesh. The knot, fully inflated, knocks on the entrance to your quivering pussy. Each time making you moan and beg for it. “Please Leon…fuck…knot me!”

With a loud, wall shaking howl, his knot breeches your cunt, locking you together. The pressure, combined with his cock stroking your g-spot, sends you spiraling again, cumming hard and screaming his name. He stills inside you, his cock buried deep, knot locked in place. You feel the hot jets of his cum filling you up, so much so it leaks around him. 

Dizzy from your shared orgasm, you fall limp on the bed, exhausted but fulfilled beyond measure. Leon lowers himself on his forearms, gently pressing his warm fur to your back. He licks your neck tenderly, soft howls filling the room. 

It's a seemingly endless night, Leon breeding you over and over and over. When the sun begins to rise and his werewolf form fades, he cradles your exhausted body in his arms, human hands coming to rest over your stomach, wishful thinking for your fertile womb. “Mine,” he purrs again.

[st7rnioioss]

౨ৎ⋆ ˚｡⋆ sub!matt headcanons

matt sturniolo x reader

warnings: nsfw content (most of it), smut!! (?)

a/n: LOVE THIS REQUEST THANKS🤞 pls spam my inbox i need to be forced into work BYE. also, i’ll get to work on used to be my girl part 2, i swear

this is based off this request!

౨ৎ

- First, I KNOW THIS MAN WHIMPERS🗣️ HEAVY on this i don’t care.

- Matt would definitely spit out a bunch of random words in the quietest, whiniest, high-pitched tone. Just babbling, not being able to make the words sound right.

- It would start out as simple as cuddling, and when you got a little too touchy with him, he would shut his eyes tightly together, begging you to touch him.

- I know this man is a sucker for neck kisses (GOIDBYE IM GIGGLIMG) Like, as soon as you find the certain soft spot on his neck, he is not seen quiet‼️ Whimpering, moaning, squirming beneath you, panting breathlessly, clammy/sweaty palms gripping the back of your neck to hold you closer - he does not want you to stop.

- If you’re on top of him (pooooossibly riding him) he’d look up through his messy hair with his droopy eyes. As I said, he’s squeezing his eyes together, his brows frowning. Maybe even take his bottom lip between his teeth (he so would).

- If you’re in public and start flirting with him, he’d immediately try to shut it down (but he secretly likes it)

“What- No. Stop, we can’t do it here- What are you- We’re in public!” He whispered, protesting but still following along like a lost puppy.

“Oh come on, don’t be a wussy. Nobody’s gonna notice,” You smiled, pushing the door open to the restrooms.

And you ended up fucking in the library bathroom

- Sub!Matt would 100% always get horny around you, no matter the occasion. Before any sort of event, he’d be dragged into a bathroom, bedroom, backseat of a car, for a quickie.

- Imagine Matt with glasses (spelling bee spelling bee spelling bee spelling bee) who’d always fumble nervously with his glasses, because you make him nervous over the simplest stuff. A simple touch or kiss does it for him (the one above this one).

- If he ever got a bit too loud when you’re having sex, imagine grabbing his face and whispering something along ‘does it really feel that good? hm?’ and just earn a whimper in response.

- Giving him head would send him over the edge IMMEDIATELY. Bucking his hips, mumbling a whole load of ‘sorry, sorry, sorry’, but cutting himself off with high-pitched whimpers and moans, just to buck his hips up again.

A fistful of your hair in his hands that he swore to himself he’d keep tight, but immediately looses his grasp on you because he just can’t contain himself. Also - he could never receive head standing, he gotta sit or else his knees will fail him.

- Matt would grip. Sitting in his gamer chair while receiving head? He’s gripping the armrests. Leaning against the headboard as you ride him? He’s gripping the headboard behind him. Laying flat on his back as you’re on top of him? He’s gripping your hips and waist (not as tightly, he can’t stand the thought of hurting you).

- HES VERBALLL🗣️ of course some of it turns to mumbling, but when he’s LOUD and VERBAL?

‘oh my fu- god- j-just like that’

‘please- it feels so good- you feel so good’

‘i’m so so close, keep- keep going, please’ as he throws his head back and closes his eyes.

a/n: i could keep going

taglist: @chrissgirlsstuff @leah-loves-lilies @toriinie @cupidzsq @lacysturniolo @iluvmattyb @ratatioulle @emma4eva @riasturns @sstvrnioloo @sweetbabydoe @elliewrites1 @its-jennarose let me know if you'd like to be added!

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 41, part three

(Masterpost) (Pinboard)  (whole thing on AO3)

Warning! Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

Brotherhood of Man

Somehow, after the multi-layered shit sandwich of betrayal that happened in Nightless City, Lan Xichen manages to convince his two besties to swear brotherhood with him and each other. Lan Xichen's Polyamory 101 class apparently didn't tell him that forcing a vee to become a three-for-all is a bad idea. Nie Mingjue and Jin Guangyao are bonded by only two things: 1. loving Lan Xichen 2. hating each other.

Nie Mingjue is great at letting bygones be bygones, as we can tell as he glares all the way through Jin Guangyao's skull.

Next we jump to Lan Xichen and Jin Guangyao playing the song of clarity for Nie Mingjue, with Lan Xichen in a particularly sexy set of ultra-fancy robes.

NMJ keeps his eyes shut so he won't have to see the extreme eye fucking that's going on right in front of his salad.

Check out his cool candle holders, by the way.

I can't help but think...is this how Lan Xichen is spending his time while Lan Wangji is in forced seclusion? Lan Xichen didn't attack any elders, so there's no reason he shouldn't be enjoying himself, but he's gone all in on the fuckboy life while his brother is seriously struggling. The Lan brothers seem a lot less close after Wei Wuxian's death interlude and I wonder if this is part of the reason.

(More behind the cut!)

We take a tiny break from empathy during this section so that Lan Wangji can check Wei Wuxian's qi.

He does, and goes to play healing for him. He does not react like WWX is lacking a core, despite doing the magic wrist check that would tip him off if that were the case, so I add this to the pile of evidence that WWX 2.0 does have a (shitty) core in his new body.

I like this little scene because Lan Wangji is clearly worried, emotional, upset - he's doing his little sour-lemon frown and he's intensely focused on Wei Wuxian while he plays healing - but he's not trying to wake him, and he doesn't say anything about his own concerns once Wei Wuxian is awake.

Grown-up Lan Wangji is still not a fan of these unorthodox cultivation activities, but he respects WWX's choices and focuses on supporting him, not stopping him.

Play Misty For Me

Next, empathy shows us Jin Guangyao playing for Nie Mingjue in a 1-on-1 session in JinLintai. I guess this is like dialysis, where Nie Mingjue has to waste a shit ton of time going back and forth between home and JinLinTai to get cleansed.

It seems like Lan Xichen could have picked a better person to train in playing the song of clarity. I know Nie Huaisang's wussy core might make him a poor candidate, but surely there's someone in Qinghe who could do the job? Or send a series of Lan disciples in an exchange student arrangement? But Lan Xichen would rather force these guys to hang out together.

Lan Xichen may seem like he's being wilfully blind, or plain stupid, but I don't think that's what he's about. He's aware that both of these guys are, from a certain point of view, bad people. Nie Mingjue is driven by rage and a rigid sense of justice and social hierarchy; Jin Guangyao is consumed with self-interest and will use any means to achieve his ends.

Good guys Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji will also use any means to achieve their ends - attacking elders, raising the dead, and whatnot. What all four of these not-Lan Xichen people have in common is that they go to extremes, too high or too low, there ain't no in-betweens.

Out of the darkness, into the light Leaving the scene of the crime Either I'm wrong or I'm perfectly right Every time

Sorry, but Billy Joel is part of my cultural heritage as a Gen X person.

Lan Xichen embodies a combination of Confucian and Buddhist values, I think; he wants the people he cares about to chill the fuck out and find the middle way, and also to be truly brotherly toward each other. He tries to achieve this through gentle nagging and also by modeling the behavior he wants to see, creating opportunities for peace and balance. Unfortunately at the time Empathy is showing us, he's unware how extreme and unbalanced his own feelings for Jin Guangyao really are.

At some point, Jin Guangyao starts playing the altered version of the music, and we have a series of kind of weird cuts where 1. the Song of Fuck You is playing on the soundtrack while Lan Xichen is teaching Jin Guangyao 2. NMJ starts to hork up some blood in the 1-on-1 session but finishes horking in the trio session. I think this is meant to show that it was a progression.

Meet Me Outside

Empathy jumps ahead to Lan Xichen trying to warn Jin Guangyao about Nie Mingjue's declining temperament, saying that if it wasn't for JGY playing for him every day, it would be super bad, or words to that effect. He is interrupted by Nie Mingjue showing up to yell at Jin Guangyao. Was Nie Mingjue eavesdropping so that his head could recall this later in Empathy?

I'm inclined to see the dynamic among the three of them at this point through a lens of domestic violence. Lan Xichen stands by helplessly while Nie Mingjue makes it clear that he's in a rage and wants to take it out on Jin Guangyao; JGY calmly tells Lan Xichen to stay behind while he goes outside to take a beating. That's not just optics; Nie Mingjue attacks him the moment they're alone. The fact that NMJ is drunk on resentment is only partly the fault of Jin Guangyao's musical poison; a lot of it is his own choice to do saber cultivation.

Lan Xichen may remember similar interactions with his parents. He's certainly having a trauma reaction instead of stepping into this situation from a place of strength. He's protected Jin Guangyao from NMJ before without any difficulty, but the changes in NMJ's temperament and possibly the loss of Lan Wangji's companionship have put him in a weaker state of mind, it seems. And he himself may have been the target of Nie Mingjue's anger at times, too.

The Ragening

After dodging the first swing from Nie Mingjue, Jin Guangyao asks him why he's mad. The gist of NMJ's beef is this: Xue Yang escaped from the unclean realm. NMJ (correctly) blames JGY. Now Xue Yang is imprisoned by Jin Guangshan after a trial or something, in which Chang Ping retracted his earlier accusation. So they can't execute Xue Yang because there's no evidence against him. (Why can they imprison him for life with no evidence, then? Seems sketchy).

Nie Mingjue says that Xue Yang has a piece of Yin metal, and that's why Jin Guangshan is keeping him alive. JGY doesn't affirm or deny this, but he has to obey his dad, so he can't kill Xue Yang just to please Nie Mingjue.

Nie Mingjue tells him to stop doing that thing he does.

You Doing that thing you do Breakin' my heart into a million pieces Like you always do And you Don't mean to be cruel You never even knew about the heartache I've been going through

Jin Guangyao has to intuit what Nie Mingjue is talking about, which is apparently that JGY is being calculating and manipulative.

He proceeds to rip NMJ a new one for believing that everyone can be as rigteous as him when he has his noble birth and high cultivation to depend on. JGY points out that he himself doesn't have early cultivation training or a good family background to draw on. He also gives us a little bit of specific info about his position in the clan, saying that Jin Zixuan's death didn't give him a clear path; Jin Guangshan would rather bring back another bastard son than allow Jin Guangyao to succeed him.

Presumably he's talking about Mo Xuanyu. Before you feel sorry for JGY, remember that he caused Jin Zixuan's death specifically so he could claim his place in the line of succession.

Nie Mingjue says, dismissively, that he's only refusing to kill Xue Yang because he doesn't want to risk his position in the clan. Nie Mingjue says this like it's a bad thing: like Jin Guangyao, who he fired quite a while ago and totally doesn't work for him, should go against his father's express orders and kill a guy, without evidence, because Nie Mingjue thinks that would be more righteous. I gotta say, Nie Mingjue is a real piece of work.

Nie Mingjue acknowledges that he himself has killed a fuckton of people, but never for his own advancement. Jin Guangyao challenges him with words that have a little flavor of Wei Wuxian's way of thinking: did everyone you've killed deserve it? Are your standards fair?

Then he heads firmly back into villain territory by saying "sacrifices must be made for greatness" which has Nie Mingjue asking why he doesn't sacrifice himself, instead of killing other people? (Shades of WWX challenging Wen Zhuliu) Jin Guangyao replies with an emphatic nope, which inspires Nie Mingjue to kick him down the stairs and attribute his poor character to his mom's line of work, for not the first time. If I was in charge of Jinlintai, I would put a safety gate up there.

The bottom of these stairs is kind of an important place for Jin Guangyao; he's been kicked down them twice (that we know of) and each time he stood up 100% ready to kill the guy at the top of the stairs. Although he took a super long time to actually do it in the case of his dad, I'm pretty sure JGS's fate was sealed in that moment....just like Nie Mingjue's is sealed here.

Side note: In the show, JGY starts musically poisoning NMJ while they are still ostensibly getting along fine, whereas in the book he waits until NMJ has kicked him down the stairs and insulted his mom. CQL Jin Guangyao is just more forward-thinking, I guess.

After fixing his hat, Jin Guangyao walks up the stairs calmly explaining to Nie Mingjue how he fucked with the song of cleansing. This causes Nie Mingjue to qi deviate while the Department of Questionable Visual Effects messes around with extra copies of Jin Guangyao in AfterFX.

Not to be outdone, the Department of Questionable Practical Effects has loaded up the front of Nie Mingjue's torso with exploding blood squibs, because apparently that is how they interpret "all his meridians were broken." (We won't talk about the various non-cultivation-aware translations that say "all his veins were broken.")

Nie Huaisang shows up - running up all of the steps at Jinlintai. From where? Did he run from Qinghe? How did he know Nie Mingjue was in trouble? If Lan Xichen told him, why isn't he here too? Presumably he is still busy checking the guest list for the next conference, per JGY's request.

Jin Guangyao grabs Nie Huaisang and holds him out of harms way while vigorously pretending to be upset while Nie Mingjue points his saber at them. Nie Huaisang interprets this as NMJ not recognizing him (and if you've seen Fatal Journey, you know this is a fair interpretation) but it might be that he's pointing it at JGY to encourage him to let NHS go.

This Is The End

Next we see NMJ all tied up on a table in Jinlintai, with corpse poisoning marks on his neck. Someday I will learn exactly when these happen, what they mean, and how everyone who has them gets them, but today is not that day. (Remember when Wen Qing got them while WWX was playing angry flute at the rocks behind Qinghe, and then they went away when he stopped playing? And how this was never explained?) Xue Yang is walking around him with Baxia and half of the yin tiger seal. He can't control him without the whole seal so JGY says to kill him.

In case all of Xue Yang's behavior seems super random, it's actually not; his project is turning high-level cultivators into controllable fierce corpses. Where Wei Wuxian controlled his fierce corpse Wen Ning with kindness and turnips, Xue Yang uses fancy brain nails. With Nie Mingjue, he presumably hadn't developed the technique yet, which is why they can't subdue him to use him. And he failed to get the nails into Xiao Xingchen or Wei Wuxian's heads. So basically the entire project was a bust, given that he didn't deploy Wen Ning for anything, and Song Lan just followed him around an empty town. This is what happens when you get too attached to a particular creative vision.

Camera Operator: hey now!

Xue Yang uses Baxia to chop Nie Mingjue's head off, which has to piss Baxia off. Xue Yang says Nie Mingjue is finally obedient, which is only sort of true, since he'll be coming back for revenge in sword-spirit form in the live action, or in naked dismembered corpse form in every other version of the story.

Friendly Neighborhood Paperman

This murder causes Wei Wuxian to snap out of empathy back into his paperman body, and accidentally pull NMJ's head's eye covers off, revealing eyes that don't look a goddamn thing like actor Wang Yizhou's eyes, but this head has had a rough few years.

Jin Guangyao is right there in the storeroom with him; it's a good thing he didn't think to have one of his chats with NMJ's head during the 30 minutes WWX spent communing with it. He chases Paperman around slashing his sword through the furniture and knocking shit over.

Among JGY's many evil traits, perhaps the worst is the way he wastes storage space. Look at all these shelves with 2 or 3 books on them.

Paperman makes his way over to Suibian where it's displayed on a shelf, and hops onto its hilt while JGY watches. He smirks at WWX's failure to draw the sword, but eventually Paper WWX does draw it, surprising JGY. Suibian fights him remotely for a bit while WWX gets away and makes his way back to Lan Wangji.

Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji trade arm clasps while Wei Wuxian gives him a sitrep, and then they run off to find Nie Mingjue's head.

Because there is no limit to Wei Wuxian's sex appeal, Lan Wangji instantly beats up everyone who gets in his sweetie's way. Lan Xichen shows up, a little alarmed at the attacks on the guards but still on board with their plan.

Lan Xichen deploys his most dramatic stair-climbing flourish to show that he means business.

Eventually Jin Guangyao shows up, and they ask to see his secret chamber. Jin Guangyao tries to explain that it's not, like, a secret chamber any more if you let people come in and look at it.

Apparently there IS a limit to Jin Guangyao's sex appeal, because Lan Xichen puts his foot down for the very first time and tells him, not asks him, to open the room.

...while Wei Wuxian smirks like a kid whose sibling is the one getting yelled at for a change.

Before Jin Guangyao can answer, Su She shows up, saying it's not cool to demand entry to a clan leader's bed chamber, as if Lan Xichen didn't have his own embroidered bathrobe alredy hanging on a hook in there.

Lan Wangji and Su She greet each other nastily, and Wei Wuxian calls him out for copying Lan Wangji, which ends the episode.

Soundtrack: I Go To Extremes by Billy Joel, That Thing You Do from the movie That Thing You Do

Bonus: Liu Haikuan's beautiful hand

[slow-reader-reads-books]

Lesbingyuan au where it’s the normal set up of post extras Bingge dimension traveling into another universe to find his own Shen Yuan. Except the world he arrives in (and is stuck in, can’t opt out of this gender journey) is a slightly genderbent one.

(hidden under a read more bc this turned basically into a wonkily grammatically tensed mini-fic)

Our darling Peerless Cucumber is a 20 something self-proclaimed straight girl with untapped soft butch potential, and is currently recovering from the harrowing trauma of the sunk cost fallacy. She’s spent a lot of time spending money on, reading, and participating in the online fandom of Proud Immortal Demon Way, and she’s currently also dealing with the fact that all her hard work in making herself heard to Great Master Airplane was seemingly for nothing. You see, Shen Yuan had the brilliant idea to create an account that appeared to be a perfectly demographically targeted straight male fan of YY novels who could critique Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky as his fellow but also his better and be listened to and receive great accolades from all frequenters of Zhongdian Literature and be validated for her hate of his writing.

“Airplane’s stupid pen name is a dick joke, I guess I gotta make mine one too… Just to, you know, seem legit and like we have common ground.”

What this charade accomplished was very little, but Peerless Cucumber did become very infamous for three things. One, his nitpicking (“It’s hardly nitpicking if it harms the integrity of the whole story1!!”). Two: his Luo Binghe fanboying (“As a protagonist he’s clearly just a cut above the rest when it comes to soul and wit, the story just rarely ever shows it off”). And three: his skipping of the steamy scenes (“I highly doubt this near identical scenario that also happened twenty chapters back but with a different wife of the week with this exact same cliffside flower giving off the same aphrodisiac mist to Bingge and new wife below will now suddenly be of any plot consequence for the next arc. It didn’t last time either, SKIP!”).

His fervent online activity garnered him the reputation of being an Airplane anti-fan, but also the assumed personality of a submissive simp who hates the easily dominated women that populate Luo Bingge’s harem. 

“lol thats why he must like mingyan so much. she never let bingge push her down. cucumber-bro must want a girlfriend who’ll chain him up and whip him! hes a pervert just like the rest of us, just a worse type kek.” 

Shen Yuan, when looking at such reply comments, gets shiver-inducing flashbacks to when her meimei left her BL comics out for everyone and the Buddha to see. She accidentally witnessed frightening scenes of thin, long-limbed men pushing each other down, tying each other to beds and cracking whips on skin until they shed blood, tears and semen, the shou begging for the gong to stop and the gong never listening. 

Shen Yuan tries to put such things out of her mind if only to preserve in amber the precious, innocent image of her meimei she knows to be true, but also secondarily to focus on the insulted male pride she’s supposed to be feeling after being accused of being a wussy submissive deviant in bed. That sort of accusation requires an in-depth 10,000 character response in order to remain in character as a straight male YY novel connoisseur.

Shen Yuan, as Peerless Cucumber but also as her true self, was undoubtedly straight. Staying in character, Peerless Cucumber made sure to extol the beauty of characters like Liu Mingyan— “She’s an intelligent and cold beauty and is written with a clear and vivid personality! A true equal for our Bingge on the battlefield and in matters of the heart!” As well as occasionally Ning Yingying— “She’s not the boring choice, you all just don’t know the special value a loyal shijie character brings, even if she does lose 99% of her personality to that one singular trait…”

But don’t get it twisted! This is a part of her performance! In real life, logged off and touching grass and breathing fresh outdoor air, she’s your run-of-the-mill average girl who is just a part of the pack. 

Her goals in life are simply not ambitious, is all. If there was a competition with ten available spots to win, she’d have no qualms placing tenth and simply feel honored to have participated. If there are ten girls and nine of them bag a good boyfriend, Shen Yuan doesn’t mind being the tenth who gets unlucky. She’s just kind to her meimeis and jiejies like that! As if she’d take that away from them! They'd probably been wanted those boyfriends for a long time! 

Shen Yuan is hardly a sore loser, and she knows the great importance of girl code and female friendship.

So, Shen Yuan being the normal average and totally straight and cisgender girl that she is decides to wallow in her Airplane-induced misery by going to a con, donning her homemade Mobei-jun cosplay. She worked hours of her life learning how to sew just for this project to the point her family thought she was finally thinking about settling down and learning wifely skills. 

Unfortunately for her ignorant family she’s actually just investing in a really elaborate excuse to cross dress. Well, it’s not really crossdressing, it’s just cosplay! Cosplay is totally different and not about taking on the gender of a character, but their larger identity! She didn’t want to explain this to them, and internally felt afraid and hesitant about it, as if they’d view her as weird for wanting to do this, so she didn’t bother to try at all.

So, Shen Yuan in her 160 centimeter/5 foot 3 inch glory decked out in dark blues and blacks, fur lining the shoulders of her outfit for style points, and wearing a long white wig styled mostly loose but with a few thin braids, chances upon a particularly striking Luo Binghe cosplayer. Not just any Luo Binghe cosplayer, but the best one! He’s tall, must be over 180cm/6 foot but also svelte and willowy in surprising ways. His hair is long and flows down his back from a ponytail ornamented at the base with a thin metal guan. Parts of his cosplay seem very benign, but others seem meticulously crafted and exquisite in quality, especially that sword at his hip! Just looking at it intimidated her, yikes! Job well done, cosplayer!

This Luo Binghe also had the most beautiful and delicately boned face she’d ever seen, eyes dark and deep and highly reflective like that of a lake on a dark and starry night. The cosplayer’s voice was also deeply melodic and enchanting.

This cosplayer… is also a woman! Shen Yuan nodded to herself internally, yes that must be it! No man looks like this in reality, this is a fellow female sufferer of Proud Immortal Demon Way impersonating a fictional man for similar psychological reasons as her. A surge of female loyalty spawns in Shen Yuan’s chest, and she doesn't even bother resisting the urge to walk over and strike up a conversation with this Luo Binghe.

She spat out her name in quick order and immediately started on the topic of female character writing in the novel. The Luo Binghe cosplayer was looking at her quietly and with a heavy amount of gravity, ink-brush eyebrows sitting elegantly low above her eyes in attentive focus. What a good listener this lady is, Shen Yuan thought. She can’t remember when someone last listened to her this closely. She hypocritically chooses to not pay attention to that train of thought any further. “In a world like Proud Immortal Demon Way,” Shen Yuan began with slight smarm, “who would choose to be a woman? I certainly wouldn’t if I wanted to see the interesting parts of the world that drew me into the story in the first place. A male protagonist can explore it freely, but the female characters are all locked away in either the marriage bedroom or the highly isolated harem palaces. Great Master Airplane clearly didn’t eat enough walnuts as a child, he must have some sort of brain deficiency when it comes to writing proper characters— ” 

The tall Luo Binghe cosplayer suddenly spoke up. “Choose?” “Hm? Yeah, I mean, in a world like that, there’s basically no choice, yeah? Gotta serve the narrative and readers and all. But the real world doesn’t have a narrative, we only have ourselves and each other to guide us. So we just do what we want, figure it out as we go. Like us two! We wanted to dress up as these male characters from this asinine story and attend this con and we figured out how to do it! We’re kindred spirits, you and I, we’re zhiyin!” “So when you leave this con, you will also choose to take this manner of dress off and wear something else?” “Obviously. Though, my go-to outfit is just a big t-shirt and sweatpants, or athletic shorts. This kind of thing is the extent of me dressing up.” Shen Yuan didn’t notice, but the Luo Binghe cosplayer’s eyes mildly glazed over in irritated confusion at the unfamiliar terms. Nor did she notice the slight expression of planning that developed in that gaze, as if they were imagining a future shopping expedition to find an outfit Shen Yuan would want to dress up in that wasn’t a facsimile of Luo Binghe’s right hand man.

“I… also want to leave this con and wear something else.” “The busyness getting to you, huh jiejie? You must have gotten here a lot earlier than I did, you poor thing. I guess this is it, it was nice talking to you—” “I don’t have any other clothes with me, and am unable to go back home. Can you help this poor one, jiejie?” “Jiejie—” Shen Yuan coughed. “Am I… wait you can’t go back home? Did your ride ditch you or something, aiyah what a scummy thing to do! I do have extra clothes on me, though I don’t think they’ll fit you. But let’s go find out. I guess if I have to take care of you like this, it does make me feel like a jiejie. Your height made me assume you were older than me, haha.”

Shen Yuan laughed, and the Luo Binghe cosplayer rapidly relaxed and took on an easy smile. “An innocent mistake. Jiejie must often be assumed to be younger than her actual age.” Shen Yuan hummed absent-mindedly. “Eh, not really. I’m only 22, and I think I look it. It’s you who looks like a jade immortal, uh, meimei.” She stuttered when she realized she hadn’t yet caught the other cosplayer’s name, and for some reason it felt weird to just call her Luo Binghe without her also LARPing along as Mobei-jun. Shen Yuan by this point had taken the tall meimei’s hand, it pale and slender much like the rest of her, and had been pulling her along towards the public bathroom to make use of her backpack’s change of clothes, walking along the wall to avoid foot traffic. However, the moment she had finished her sentence and called the other one meimei, the Luo Binghe cosplayer suddenly slammed her free hand on the wall and yanked hard on the one Shen Yuan was holding, pulling her in close to herself, caging her in from behind. Shen Yuan squeaked and found herself crowded against the wall. Her back was encased in a warm and dark heat and she could see above her that jade-white hand curled tightly in on itself, heel practically grinding against the wall. It looked like it was trembling slightly. An earth-shatteringly tight grip squeezed the fingers of her still held hand to the point of hurting slightly. Shen Yuan winced at the sensation.

Shen Yuan heard sharp, heavy breathing above her. Not knowing what to do nor quite what was going on, she squeezed back the hand that was keeping hers hostage and leaned back slightly. Comfort is what she’s doing this for, right? Feels like the reason she’s doing it. 

Shen Yuan felt the other cosplayer jolt behind her. After a tense beat, a forehead slowly dropped onto her shoulder. Shen Yuan was wearing fur along the top half of her outfit as a part of her Mobei-jun cosplay, but nonetheless she could feel the vague contour of the other’s nose through it, burrowing deeper into its warmth. Shen Yuan now felt awkward for only bothering with faux-fur for her cosplay. But with that face resting upon her shoulder and an odd sense of vulnerability wafting off of her, a sharp sense of broad awareness filled Shen Yuan's mind mysteriously. Her mind filled up with sensory information on the one behind her, naturally taking note of every detail with ease.

“Meimei…” the Luo Binghe cosplayer trailed off, muffled slightly by Shen Yuan’s cosplay, but also seemingly by her own emotions being stuck in her throat. “Can I really be jiejie’s meimei?” Shen Yuan didn’t really know what to do or how to respond, so she simply continued to lean her weight back onto the other. She then pulled on the elbow that led to the hand positioned above her until it was brought down far enough for her to grab properly. Shen Yuan took both hands in hers and placed them in front of her in a comfortable position. They were slightly cold, so she rubbed at them with her thumbs.

The Luo Binghe cosplayer picked her head up and looked down at the sight with watery eyes and a warbling lip. Both of her hands were cradled in that grip, gently held in front of the shorter’s stomach in a tender and intimate fashion. Their arms were bent parallel and their front and back slotted together in a way that, to the taller one, felt predestined.

“Can you, what kind of question is that, of course you can. But, I’d like to have your name too, if you don’t mind? Only calling you meimei sounds like I’m calling out to my real little sister.” Shen Yuan laughed and looked up over her shoulder nonchalantly. 

Somewhere in the distance, she can hear people giggling and snapping pictures of the two. She felt a twinge of embarrassment. Of course this moment looks compromising from the outside, they’re cosplaying Luo Binghe and Mobei-jun!

Shen Yuan was suddenly working very hard to maintain a cool poker face in front of her very tall and newly minted meimei.

Bringing up her real little sister and then suddenly being thrust into this type of self-aware of cringe violently and nonconsensually summoned forth invented images of a dog blooded BL scenario that wouldn’t be out of place in her real meimei’s leisure literature.

Fellow con goers, please have mercy on us two women and don't be thinking of what I'm thinking! We’re merely having a pure hearted, early friendship bonding moment! Skinship is very much common and normal between people like us, disregard the kabedon! Totally normal female friendship is blossoming here, get your homoerotic dog blood tropes out of our personal lives!

“This one is called… Qiu Bingbing.” Her voice hitched and quavered with some sort of ineffable, delicate emotion. “Bingbing, ah? Written with the same character as Binghe, meaning ice? And Qiu, is that with the character meaning the autumn season or the character meaning a grave mound?”

Qiu Bingbing hummed and nodded lethargically to the first question and spoke up for the second, hesitating slightly. “Qiu as in autumn.” “What a pretty name, “autumn ice”. You fit the bill of Luo Binghe perfectly, but with a name like that it’s nearly a pity to go by something else. You’re a miraculous find in a place like this, Bing-mei.” Shen Yuan complimented with abandon, eager to make her new friend feel good, and turned around. Still holding one hand, she impulsively took the chance Qiu Bingbing’s still bowed head offered and patted it softly.

She did that for a while, not paying attention to anything else. A euphoric smile opened on Qiu Bingbing’s lips. She was lost in the moment too. 

The rest of the world fell away. As long as Luo Binghe, no, as long as Qiu Bingbing can worm her way into every crevice of Shen Yuan, she’ll be fine. He before was always grasping at any semblance of peace and security only for it to slip through his grasp like sand, but she’s found it. She’ll nestle in and hibernate inside Shen Yuan’s veins and she’ll never let go. She will never.

“Let’s go get you those clothes. Good thing I like them oversized, they should be mildly presentable on you, even if they aren’t anything girly.”

“I can live without anything girly, anything of yours will do.”

“That’s good to hear, let’s go then.”

[saint-vagrant]

for the love of god stop with these Rational Thinkers' paragraph + italicised "VOTE!" posts. is anyone moved by this? i've seen "vote for whoever you like, but just vote" VOTE FOR WHOEVER BUT JUST DO IT? BRO! that's somehow more pathetic than demanding that you back biden or else you're too young and too old and too stupid and too academic and ultimately a traitor if you came to a different conclusion and act, to your best ability, in accordance with your ethics.

like yeah you'll do whatever and so will i, i guess. but it's psychically painful to see this totally coincidental influx specifically since october 2023. people calling leftists (well specifically anti-imperialists &/ communists) "russian/chinese/3rd party agents" who are "lying to you to stop you from voting." it's been worded as "your friends are lying to you." that is so cool. it's like 2016 in here. yday i saw "voting isn't about which leader will sign off on your glorious revolution" which is such a snide misunderstanding of... most things, i think? it's giving "proudly launching headfirst down stairwell." more than half the time i check out OP, they're openly a zionist, or end up there by default in the sense of being a bland milquetoast etiquette-obsessed "let people enjoy things" centrist who's so mistrusting of information or pattern recognition that if you possess either you're corrupted by "ideology."

why would it be necessary to lie? what purpose for a big convoluted conspiracy? for whom IS this simplistic, condescending, dispassionate shit anyway??? surely not for the people whose families are burning alive, thanks to the american government who robs and brutalises its own people in order to fund further massacres. because how could you look that person in the face and tell them "no, you don't know fuckall about how things run around here. now is the time for political decorum" ?? there must be such a sense of comfort in the idea that those people are "over there." like i think it's pretty unfortunate that a lot of these posts begin by citing some ~dramatic~ ~babybrained~ "take" committed by disgruntled "western" posters (who are spies) but when i heard the source, or when i go find it, it's by a palestinian or muslim person or just someone from whom it like, kind of makes sense why they feel the way they do! but then it's characterised in such a vague wussy ass way! huh??!!! like it seems very convenient to ignore WHO is organising/mobilising/criticising, WHO is protesting and abstaining, so that these posts come off more sound and reasonable than the leftist sleeper agents who appeal to emotion over sense. and i'm not even telling you not to vote! i'm wondering why it's so impossible to conceive of a reality where a marginalised person or group concludes that the health and safety of their community will be sought and achieved through other means. you really can't imagine that? that's dumb to you?

so i guess i, too, don't care what the hell you do with your precious little life, but it is So Fucked to talk down to people about genocide like it's a petty, inconvenient wedge issue we have to sidestep for the greater good. fwiw voting isn't wholly irrelevant to me, And Also, i understand being against a system means, for many, abstaining from its approved tools and pouring efforts into direct action. this is not a new approach! greater good is sought and achieved mainly and actively on the ground— not from above. moreover, there is no good greater than opposing and ending genocide for fuck's sake! jesus!

[constellationguy]

Another Perspective

Episode two

"Text": regular talking

'Text': regular thinking

"Text": Saiki talking telepathically

'Text': Saiki thinking

ATTENTION! You might want to rewatch episode two of The Disastrous Life of Saiki K before reading to fully understand the events.

Previous episode

Summary: Episode 2 in L/N Y/N's perspective.

CRASH

“WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?” “Was that a meteor?”

‘Nope just Kusuo trying to put the ball away,’ thought Y/N exasperated.

“Alright losers listen up. We’re playing dodge ball!” Coach Matsuzaki announced. However class 2-3 did not seem too amused at the thought of playing dodgeball, they’d rather be doing something else.

“HEY QUIT COMPLAINING! Let’s give it everything we’ve got! So what if it’s childish? It’ll be fun to relive our youth! Let’s go out there and dodge till we drop!” Hairo announced convincingly.

‘Damn, and here I thought we were going to do something else,’ Y/N thought a little glum, Saiki also agreed with this thought.

“Well if Hairo really wants us to then I guess” “Ya we gotta give it a shot right?” Soon enough the collective opinion of the class turned from annoyed to eager positivity.

“Who wants to be on my team?” Most on the class raised their hands and shouted along with enthusiasm. “We’ll decide the teams with rock paper.” Matsuzaki announced.

“Alright! We’re gonna win this thing!” “YAAAAA” ‘I have a feeling this is gonna be a bit overdramatic even for my taste,’ “I have a feeling you’re right,” Saiki said to Y/N. “Being on Hairo’s team beats the alternative right?” ‘Guess so’ Y/N thought back to Saiki.

“We’ll start with a jump ball.” And with that the game is on! Hairo immediately grabbed the ball yelling enthusiastically and got Takahashi out.

“YA WE GOT ONE OUT!” Hairo’s team gave him numerous high fives in their excitement. “Getting one player out is worth that much excitement? And how is he sweating so much already? We just started.” “Hairo’s his own little sports anime, it’s best you just roll with it” Y/N said back to Saiki.

“Hey there Saiki. We’re taking you first!” The student threw the ball but Saiki did nothing to catch or block the ball from hitting him.

“Hold it Saiki! Were you actually trying to get hit by that ball?” Saiki nodded. “For real? Well. Hey where you going? You’re not out. Face safe rule.” Hairo smiled at Saiki, he could not smile back. Now Saiki has to throw the ball, uh oh.

“Saiki give it all you’ve got!” Hairo yelled. ‘Ya I don’t think so. I’d like my classmates to still have skin by the end of class.’ Y/N thought.

Y/N could tell that Saiki was obviously freaking out but eventually he landed on throwing the ball at Nendo. The throw happened to turn out more like a calm pass to Nendo though.

“What the hell kinda wussy ass throw was that?! This isn’t a game kid, it’s serious put some heart into it!” ‘Ouch that was harsh. You tried your best Kusuo, don’t worry about it too much.’

“Hey now buddy! Thanks for going easy on your boy but right now we’re supposed to be enemies.”

“Did you really go easy on him cause he’s your friend?!” ‘No part of that is true’

“Alright. They don’t call me Nen the dodgeballer for nothing! Take that! And that! Bam! Boo ya! Two fa!” “Wow he took out 6 players at once!” “The paper team only has two guys left!” Conveniently and not so conveniently Y/N was gotten out by Nendo but Saiki stayed in the game.

“Obviously I’ve gotta save my pall for last. Which makes you my next target captain. Dodge ball!!!!”

“AAAAAA” ‘okay here’s the dramatics, I’m not really into sports anime’s but this is entertaining enough,’ ‘try being in the sports anime’ Saiki thought back to Y/N. ‘right. Sorry Kusuo,’.

Just as Hairo was lining up to catch Nendo’s ball, Saiki got in the way and the ball hit him instead, shocking everyone.

“Hey don’t give up now! We’re still in this! LETS GO!” Surprisingly Hairo had enough time to make that short speech and also catch the ball before it hit the ground. ‘Okay now that was impressive’.

“Oh no! Hairo’s knee is busted!” “That means Saiki is the only one left on team paper!” The he shocked and annoyed faces Saiki was making was gold to Y/N, maybe playing dodgeball wasn’t such a bad idea.

“Looks like this is it for me. I entrust this ball to you. I know that you’re hiding something Saiki. You’ve got a power deep inside you that’s you’re not using. What’s stopping you? Now’s the time. I want to see you let loose and unleash” he paused to vomit sparkly blood. “Help us Saiki. You’re our only hope.” He puked sparkles again.

“Yo Saiki, I believe in you!” “We’re counting on you Saiki!” “Kick their butts Saiki!” ‘You have got to be kidding me!’

‘Kusuo’s thinking hard about his next move. Whatever it is, I hope it turns out in his favor.’ Y/N thought a little worriedly.

This time when Saiki threw the ball it turned out to be a spin ball. This shocked the class and brought his likeability up.

“Finally it’s my turn to show you what I’ve got. Do you have any idea what that means for you Saiki? I means that you’re in big trouble.” Kaido grabbed the ball extra confident. ‘By that face Kusuo is making, I bet he was banking on getting out, guess that plan failed.’ Y/N couldn’t tell if they should feel bad for Saiki or a little amused at the situation he’s in.

“Here’s my meteor spark genocide ball!” Kaido then made a rather pitiful noise when letting go of the ball. Saiki caught the ball with pretty much no effort.

Saiki then threw the ball to out field to bring a player in but he put a little too much power into it, which sent the class into hysteria.

“Sorrrrry, Buddy!!!” Saiki braces for Nendo’s ball and was hit. “Iiiiiiii’ve got it!” Hairo was suddenly in the game again. “Just in time” ‘I kinda feel bad for Kusuo but that face is priceless!’ Y/N tried to not laugh at Saiki’s misery.

“Saiki I saw the spirit you put into that throw. It’s really moved me!” Hairo was crying! “I’ll handle things from here!” Hairo managed to get a few outs until the score was even.

“Sorry but your little come back ends here. I won’t be dropped as easy like those puny whimps.” “Ya me neither,” “Fine! Let’s finish this thing. Bring it!”

When Nendo threw the ball Hairo was unable to catch it, but Saiki came to the rescue and gently threw it back to Hairo. “No! You take it.” Hairo threw the ball back to team rock and got Nendo and Kaido out in one throw.

“Saiki is so amazing!” “Nice job Saiki!”

“Buddy! That was a really great match man!” Nendo hugged and cried to Saiki and the class’s adoration for Saiki quickly dissipated.

—————————————————————————

“WHAT? Manako said yes?!” Class 2-3 was filled with conversations on love and relationships. In the middle of the classroom sat Saiki and Yumehara, and it was clear she had a crush on him.

Y/N was only a few seats behind the two and knew that today was going to be interesting for Saiki and fun for them. Yumehara’s blush was evident and Y/N could tell that Saiki was reading her thoughts and wasn’t very unamused at their contents.

In Yumehara’s first plan she tried to make a meet-cute, but Saiki flipped over her and used his powers to put all her papers back neatly into her hands. Y/N was at the end of the hall and had the best view possible to this event, and boy was it entertaining.

In Yumehara’s next plan she dropped her handkerchief next to Saiki, but this plan was ruined by Y/N themself. Yumehara didn’t notice but Y/N was walking right behind her and when she dropped the handkerchief Y/N picked it up, “Hey Yumehara! You dropped this.” Y/N announced.

‘I know Saiki was meant to pick this up but I couldn’t resist throwing a wrench in her plans! Sure it may be a little mean but she’s my source of entertainment for today, she’s being a little too interesting for me to let slide,’ Y/N thought only feeling slightly guilty. Unfortunately Y/N’s thoughts were accurate and when they gave her handkerchief back she had a very obviously dejected expression, “how interesting,” Y/N smirked.

Undeterred Yumehara continued on her mission to get the attention of Saiki. But unfortunately for her, all of her plots were ruined by either an unamused Saiki or an overly enthusiastic Y/N.

For Yumehara’s final plan she tried to wait for Saiki so they could share his umbrella but before that could happen the rain suddenly stopped. Yumehara was feeling solemn but quickly found a new boy, but at the other side of the entrance Y/N was waiting for their boy, Kusuo.

“I think you had a little too much fun messing with her,” Saiki said to Y/N. “Maybe so, but I couldn’t have her stealing you away from me.” Y/N said jokingly. “Who else am I going to make massive amounts of sweets for?,” Y/N continued. “No one,” Saiki replied quickly. “That’s what I thought. Now let’s get home, I’ve got macrons with our names on them!”

—————————————————————————

In the L/N residence it was a normal and quiet afternoon. Y/N was making coffee jelly and was preparing to make their mango smoothie, all was well.

‘Ever since the neighbors have stopped fighting Kusuo has been able to come over more often. I hope he and his parents are doing well.’ But suddenly they were thrown out of their thoughts my a harsh CRACK from next door. ‘I know this is non of my business but I swear if they start fighting again,’ Y/N thought exasperated.

It was quiet for about an hour until a BAM was heard, again from the Saiki residence. ‘Okay what the hell. Is Kusuo in a bad mood or something, sheesh,” Y/N thought while sipping on their smoothie.

“Hey,” Saiki suddenly teleported in front of Y/N, giving them quite the scare. “I know we’ve been friends for forever but damn, give me some warning Kusuo! Anyway what was all that noise about?”

“My parents wanted some help moving furniture,” “Oh? Alright, well there’s freshly made coffee jelly in the fridge for you. I had a feeling you’d be over here sometime this weekend. Enjoy,” Y/N smiled at Saiki. “You’re a genius,” Saiki said dreamily while walking towards the fridge.

—————————————————————————

“Hey, you missed Kongo getting chopped by Mr. Hatakeyama at the front gate,” Saiki said to Y/N who was already spacing out at their desk.

“WAIT WHAT?! Nooooooo, why did I get here early for once?!” Y/N pouted.

“Beats me,” Saiki shrugged.

—————————————————————————

Next episode

[itgirlgyu]

would this txt guy punch me if i ask him to?

context: toothache. warning: gaslighting. violence.

✷ yeonjun!

no!

honestly i think he's too much pussy to punch.

he'd be there like, with sweat running down his forehead.

his fist shaking, and his voice trembling.

if we pay even more attention to his cowardice, we could hear his teeth chattering and his chin wobbling.

his wussy behavior would put me off

instead we just visit the dentist on his debit card

he can't be more thankful for that even though now he's in debt because of it.

✷ soobin!

he's been waiting for a chance honestly.

"soobin could you punch me bro i hav—"

"aight square up."

he's taken the right position to land the perfect punch.

he's hunched back and has been pulling his wrist back while supporting it with his other hand.

and in that moment he looks like he's actually taking his vengeance instead of helping you

there's a literal twinkle in his eyes.

that's not the soobin we know.

i fear for my life so i will be fleeing that scene

and ending my friendship.

✷ beomgyu!

he might.

some gaslighting and emotional blackmailing needed tho.

he's like, "no how could i?"

while removing his rings and freeing the tension in his wrist, getting ready to hit the mark.

might shed tears as he measures the distance and the amount of force he might need to excert.

enlightenment hits like this man would actually end up caving my jaw in

so i refuse with a flower in my hands as peace treaty 🌹

he agrees and we both hapilly live together while planning an extensive plan to get shit done on someone else's bill.

✷ taehyun!

straight up refuses without even listening to the reasoning.

refuses even more vehemently after listening to the reasoning.

like he too is a hater of capitalism but apparently refusing to going to the dentist is something only an imbecile would do

sure taehyun that doesn't sound like hypocrisy at all 🙄

might start lecturing on dental hygiene and then gives an array of things to help the ache

okay but i would literally bite my own tongue to stop myself from making even a bit of sound in front of him

bc you make one sound and he's looks like he'd grab your hair and drag you to the dentist.

✷huening kai.

yeah lmao he wouldn't.

although he'd empathise

but that's all he would do.

does a lil "oh poor you" everytime he comes in and then back to going whatever he had been doing.

might ask after a day or two like oh how's your toothache?

probably uses this chance and make a gift list with whole mouth wash, and pain killer and all that basket for christmas.

doesn't eat anything sweet in front of you bc he thinks it's rude.

oh my poor hyuka ily

but a true blue idgaf king.

i do not apologise for shit posting. ⋆

COPYRIGHTS RESERVED TO ITGIRLGYU 23'. FEEDBACKS AND REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED! PERM' TAGLIST: @impureperhaps @full-sunnies @ox1-lovesick @jisungsdaydreamer @wonioml @1921choi @forever-in-the-sky @beoms-sugar @gyuletters

[b4mpyre-k1zz3s]

The Jackass Guys Working in Fast Food HC’s!

Warnings: Suggestive content, crude language, drug use, tampering with food (and general bad food service practices)

An: This fic was largely inspired by this spot the guys did for the Arby’s Action Sports Awards, a concept which still eludes me to this day…

The awards show that invited the jackass guys to host had this sponsorship deal with some fast food company,

And, as written in tiny print on the contract, the guys ended up getting roped into something they’d never thought they’d have to deal with:

Working in food service.

Johnny

Given his position as the leader of the group, Johnny is kinda the manager by default

Partially because he’s so charismatic and partially because he just has pretty privilege so customers can’t get too mad at him

So when the drive through window gets stuck, guess who’s running orders outside?

He was the most responsible one and often takes up the job of cleaning up the dining area,

Even though he did have a tendency to clean off tables while people were eating or sweep a little too close to the patrons,

“Uh, scuse’ me, ma’am…Feet up, please.” And they never seemed to mind!

In fact, anytime someone got their order messed up, guess who they send in?

“I really am sorry for the inconvenience, sir,” Knoxville shoveled about twenty apple pies into a bag as turned to speak over his shoulder to the pissed off customer

“But I just wanted the order I paid for-”

“Shh…Just between you and me.” Johnny nudged the bag closer to him with a wink, “Go ahead- take it! I gotcha.”

And he actually took it.

Bam

“What’re you- some kinda wussy?” Bam had a tendency to shit talk customer’s orders, often pressuring them to size up,

“C’mon, be a man! You know what, dude? I’m just gonna put you down for a large combo…”

God forbid a customer is rude to him because holy shit. Bam is a master the guerrilla food terrorisim!

He has 100% spit in a guys onion rings because he yelled at him over the drive thru

And you bet he served them with a smile

Even though Bam has that whole line cook look, he’s maybe the worst person you want to have working at your restaurant.

It’s pretty rare that he gets sent out to register duty (due to the fact it takes him forever to make change)

But when he does, he just looks so disheveled from working in the kitchen

I’m talking condiments on his apron, pieces of meat just…hanging off of him, which obviously raised a couple eyebrows

“I mean- I was in the kitchen. I was workin’ hard back there! Can’t you tell?”

Steve-O

Steve couldn’t help but grin to himself when the angry customer over the drive through sarcastically asked him if he was ‘on something’

“Yes, sir- I am.”

Completely opposite to Bam, Steve is the closest thing they have to a model employee due to his experience working shitty jobs

If you order a four piece nugget, and he’s making it, count on getting a fifth one every time because he knows he would be pumped if he got one.

Point is, Steve is the fast food employee everyone loves, and that extends to his work at the counter

When all the guys are hustling to get orders out on time during a rush, guess who’s out there doing clown tricks to keep customers entertained?

Doing backflips off of the counter and juggling condiment packages to keep people happy people while whistling that one circus theme

“If you like the condiment stuff, wait till you see what I do with the drinks!”

Chris

“Welcome to Arby’s! Can I tempt you with my- I mean, our meat?”

Him and Steve have competitions as to who can say the most out of pocket thing over the drive thru speaker. He’s in the lead (for obvious reasons).

One of the best ones he came up with was when he was told to advertise the new dessert offerings,

“Are you sure you don’t wanna try one of our pies? The cream is delicious.”

Him and Steve are inseparable, usually spending more time fucking around in the kitchen than actually preparing food

So when, in the middle of a rush, the mayo gun Steve was using gets jammed and (despite his very skillful efforts to fix it) explodes all over him, Chris has a lot to say,

“Oh my god-” He turned to where his buddy was standing there, stunned, “Steve. Is this your man-aise?”

The customers could hear their laughter from the kitchen.

And speaking of Steve, Chris came up with a few tricks of his own to pull when he’s on register duty

Like walking out with two burgers stuffed in the top of his apron like boobs,

“Can I take anybody’s order?” He looked around the restaurant like nothing was amiss as he adjusted the twins.

Ryan

“Welcome to Arby’s, where the world’s a better place…” Ryan sighed, reading off the drive thru script for the fiftieth time that day,

“Whaddya want?”

Ryan hates dealing with customers and, in the middle of a rush, went out for a “smoke break”, which really meant he was going to hide in the freezer until his shift was nearly over

“Really, Ry?” Bam raised an eyebrow at the ice crystals in his beard, which only tipped him off that something was amiss because it was June.

Kinda similar to how Steve and Chris have their drive thru routine, him and Bam tag team on food sabotage, only Ryan’s arguably less gross

Like the worst he’s ever done was take a sip out of a guy’s milkshake before he gave it to him.

It isn’t that hard to believe given the fact he introduced the guys to using “God’s Tongs”

(if you don’t know, is a nice way to say picking up food with your hands)

In fact, everyone remembers that one day a customer was complaining to him that their burger arrived without a bun, holding out the bare patty to show him,

“Alright- I gotcha.” Ryan took a few steps back, grabbing a top bun from the back, and he just chucked the thing at the guy!

That top bun landed perfectly on top of that burger.

[despairots]

CANDY NECKLACE: TIKTOK TREND

「 satoru gojo x gender neutral! reader 」

GENRE: slight suggestive themes, established relationship, crack, short story, sorta modern au, only for the phones though.

CONTENT WARNING: suggestive themes, swearing, not much i can cw, bottom reader.

AUTHORS NOTE: pls take this while i work on the oracle first chapter, i promise its almost done i just had this idea randomly. this is gender neutral but i wrote this with male reader in mind. yknow that trend where this girl has that candy necklace around her neck and goes around asking boys if they wanted some and she’d pull the necklace for them to take the candy in there month idk

being in a relationship with THE satoru gojo was bound to get you in the centre of attention (though you two have been in a relationship every since highschool years). students gave you pitiful glances that you had to deal with a literally man baby.

he’d whine and whine if you even decided to remove his arm around your waist to take a piss, it was annoying but you loved him anyways. if being a jujutsu sorcerer was your first job them being a babysitter was your second one.

not once have you seen a 28-year old man— who’s the strongest out there aswell— pout and act all dramatic when you decline him of a kiss. he would pull a heartbroken women act right out of his ass and hold onto you while staring into your soul.

(“after i birthed your kids!?”)

(“WHAT.”)

though, there was moments where he could act like a little child at one point and transition to a full on teasing boyfriend.

he would glide his fingers against your arms until they reached your lips—parting them with his thumb— as he neared your lips, teasing the air between you both before pulling back completely (which resulted with a bruise on his head).

he teased you and often worships your skin, leaving bruises and marks wherever he can reach. those happened when missions had to separate you both, making you both worry for eachother. And when you’re both in eachother’s arms, you know where that leads you both.

just today there was a mission that involved gojo, you, aswell as his students. the end if it, gojo had proposed a sleepover, so that’s where you are now.

a over sized shirt over you with gojo’s boxers and on the shared, a pillow in your arms and the lights shut off, only light source from the tv and the flashlight gojo had.

“.. and them boom! [name] nullified their ability and the curse exploded!”

the students (well, yuuji and kugisaki. megumi wasn’t interested) awed, stars exploding in their eyes as your eye twitched. now, he was just making shit up. you sighed, pinching gojo’s eyes and hearing him whine, “that isn’t what happened.”

he pouted, “i can’t tell my students how absolutely amazing you are?” yeah, he can. it boosted your ego but not when he was speaking a bunch of lies, “no, baby.” placing a kiss on his cheek as megumi internal gagged at the sight.

“we should play truth or dare. telling stories are kinda boring now. megumi, you in?” yuuji turned to the spiky black haired boy beside him, everyone knew his answer already.

“absolutely not.” plain glances were handed to him.

why did it almost reminded you of a highschool party by how yuuji and kugisaki laughed evily while looking at you? they’re scheming something you didn’t want to be apart of. you sweatdropped when kugisaki cleared her thought.

she looked at you with a devious gaze, “[name], truth or dare?” of course you were first, “truth.” god, you pussy! although, it seemed like if you picked dare it wouldn’t be any better then picking truth.

“how often do you and gojo do it?” your face paled while you turned to gojo slowly, and he had a grin on his face!? how insane is this guy!? “it’s a truth, [name]~ how often do we do it?” he teased you, pinching your cheek in his fingers.

“you’re not helping!”

“come on! don’t be a wussy!” he wiggled his fingers infront of you, holding your pillow as shield as you answered, “twice or once a week.” kugisaki and yuuji fist bumped eachother, how horrible of them.

the game went on and on until kugisaki had asked you a dare, a dare that made gojo gasp in excitement. it worked since he was a sweet tooth aswell.

kugisaki cleared her throat, holding something behind her back, “it’s you once again, [name]. truth or dare?” you hummed, thinking about which one would have the least consequences. you had chosen truth more then you had choose dare— about 6 to 10– “dare.”

she laughed, pulling a candy necklace out from her back, watching gojo’s eyes sparkle. “i dare you to wear this candy necklace and after each round, gojo takes a bit out of each one.” you sulked into the couch, gojo patting your head.

gojo took it from kugisaki’s hand, pulling it over your head as it nestled around your neck. he pulled on the necklace, nearing close to your neck where you fault his breath against it before taking one of the candy from the necklace.

this was gonna be long.

bite after bite, dare after dare, and truth after truth. the necklace was halfway done and your embarrassment was starting to get to you.

the way he kept slowly tugged the necklace to his mouth while maintaining eye contact and biting into the candy made your breath hitch every time he did, he was teasing you, like he always did.

and the students knew aswell, that’s why they kept drawing this game out.

“truth or dare, gojo?” yuuji had asked, his phone in his hand as he stared up at his teacher, “dare.” he had more balls then you. after kugisaki had given you the candy necklace, your choices of picking dare was very unlikely.

“i dare you to show us your last photo for your eyes only.” oh. oh! the last photo was your blushing face in bed. was gojo gonna take this dare and have his students see him and you differently?

it looked like he was thinking long and hard until he had answer, “can i not take it?” you let out a relief breath that you didn’t realize you were holding in.

yuuji and megumi looked at eachother before shrugging, “okay but you’ll have to finish [name]’s necklace and tell us your favourite position—“

“you guys are minors! how do you know this stuff!?” you interjected with embarrassment, taking notice of gojo’s twitching fingers. he was holding himself back from throwing your legs over his shoulders and eating all the candy on your neck.

megumi slapped the back of yuuji’s head, “let’s just go to sleep.” you agreed with megumi’s words, hearing the other two whine before stomping to their rooms you had offered them.

sighing in relief, you threw your head back against the couch, feeling your embarrassment disappear from your entire body— until the necklace was tugged again and placed into gojo’s mouth.

there was a clear and evident look in his eyes that he wanted more, fixing your positions into something more comfortable before throwing one of your legs over his shoulders and leaning closer to your neck.

“i’m not finished.”

oh shit.

[marylily-my-beloved]

While I really like the fact that Remus is a big wussy who is pushed around a lot and cannot stand up for himself, I don't really think that's true. In my opinion, while Remus is very scared of his anger and he tries his hardest to keep the peace, to stay calm, he doesn't like wasting his energy being nice to people who don't deserve it. When James and Sirius were massive dicks in school, Remus didn't care too much because they were his friends until it directly affected him with the prank. Because of the prank, Remus had gone off on Sirius hard, he knew it would've been Sirius who had done it from the second he saw Snape, because Sirius was mean like that.

He had gotten so mad at Sirius. he had regretted it, but he didn't waste his time and energy on going back to Sirius and apologizing, he sat in his guilt, knowing he truly felt like a monster.

Another thing about how Remus didn’t care too much if bad things happened to bad people is Snape. Like James and Sirius bullied him heavily, and Remus didn’t care to stop them. In these instances I think it’s because of the fact that he lets bad things happen to bad people. For other people who didn’t do anything, it’s because he’s too much of a wuss to say anything, but with people like Snape it’s because he doesn’t care.

[charliedawn]

Hey Charlie! Sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if it's possible to get 'when they realize they like you' scenario (similar to the one you did with the other Slashers a while ago) with Sinclair Brothers (separate), Jack and Ghostface? No worries if not

I listened to Family Line of Conan Gray while writing this. I'd suggest you listen to it—especially for the Sinclair brothers. Hope you'll like it. 😉

Lester Sinclair :

Lester knew there was something special about you from the start. He had never seen someone like you before. You dressed so pretty and wore lots of pearls. You looked like a princess and the first time he saw you—he was speechless.

He had no choice but bring your group to Ambrose, but he did stick around. He wanted to talk to you, get closer to you...You were just so pretty.

And everything was going fine...until you started suspecting his brothers of killing your friends. When the chase began, he was supposed to leave. He knew as much. But, the moment he was about to get into his car...he heard you scream.

He stopped dead in his tracks and raised his eyes towards the sky. He then shook his head and cursed loudly before running towards the scream.

He spotted you as you were about to be stabbed by Bo and suddenly, his blood boiled. He felt like liquid courage ran through his veins as he approached Bo and knocked him out with the back of a shovel.

Your eyes widened and you were so pretty...all covered in blood and your pretty pearls darkened red. He shook his head and took your hand. You started running back towards his truck.

He then opened the door and shoved you inside.

"Go. And don't come back, a'right darlin' ?", he told you and looked back to see Bo running towards the both of you with fire in his eyes.

"LESTER ! YOU COME BACK HERE, YA HEAR ?!"

His heart quickened and you could see he was scared. You grabbed his hand and his eyes widened as he looked back at you.

"Come with me.", you pleaded—but Lester offered you an apologetic smile.

"I can't. They ma brothers."

Your eyes watered as you suddenly leaned towards him and kissed him on the lips. Lester was taken aback, but he responded with passion. It was his first kiss...probably his last.

When you pulled away, you smiled at him and couldn't hold back your tears.

"Goodbye, Lester."

He smiled back and replied.

"Goodbye, pretty'."

You then drove away and tried not to look back. Lester closed his eyes and took a deep breath before turning around—falling face to face with Bo. He thought he would kill him for letting you go, but Bo seemed more dumbfounded than anything else...

"You...", Bo started and Lester gave him a sad smile.

"Bo...I think I just I fell in love."

Bo didn't say anything and Lester chuckled to himself as he looked at the pearl in his hand with a wistful smile. Maybe some other time, if you were two different people...He would have bought you pretty dresses, pearls and diamonds...But, that wasn't the story.

"She was such a pretty pearl too..."

Bo Sinclair :

Bo didn't believe in love or feelings. He had watched his parents bicker all the time, they didn't even like him. Love was just something you told kids to make them believe in a better future. But, he never had a future to begin with.

"Love is for wussies.", he once told you and you frowned as you looked at him.

"Love is beautiful.", you protested.

"Love is fuckin' stupid.", he shot back.

"Love is a gift.", you countered.

"Love isn't real.", he said with finality before looking at his scarred wrists. "I should know. I watched it die."

Your eyes softened as you saw the sadness in his eyes. Bo had been the reason for his parents' split up—or so he had always told himself. From the moment Vincent and him were born, he had never seen his parents share one single moment of tenderness. His mother hated him. His father thought that a stick was better education than anything else. He had learned at a young age that nothing was definite and that love was bullsh*t. So, why should he believe in it ?

You sighed and crouched in front of him to look him in the eyes and gently took his hands. You then pressed them against your cheeks and smiled.

"Well...I sure do hope you'll change your mind.", you said. He frowned before tilting his head quizzically at you.

"Yeah ? Why's that ?"

You looked down at the floor sheepishly and mumbled.

"Well...I guess you could say it would make me feel better to know that I won this argument."

His eyes widened and he burst out laughing.

"Oh ! I see ! You some kind of sore loser, ain't ya ?!"

You sent him a dark glare and crossed your arms over your chest.

"Shut up ! I ain't !"

He raised a skeptical eyebrow at you before giving you an amused smirk.

"Huh-huh. Real convincing."

Your cheeks burnt bright red at his teasing and you punched his shoulder.

"Oh yeah ! As if ya any better, you damn hillbilly ?!"

He pretended to get offended and gasped dramatically before pressing his hand flat over his chest.

"Whatdya jus' call me, miss/mister fancy pants ?!"

At the end, you looked each other in the eyes for a few seconds and burst out laughing together. You sat down next to him and rested your head on his shoulder.

"...Ya know what, Bo ?", you asked while your eyelids felt heavy.

"Hmm ?"

He looked down at you and saw you smiling up at him.

"I genuinely think you deserve to be happy..."

He didn't answer and you kelt smiling to yourself. You knew he didn't believe it. But, maybe by repeating it over and over, it'd get into his head eventually ?

"Goodnight, Bo. Love ya.", you said absent-mindedly and didn't feel him tense against you. For a moment, silence settled around you. And it was only when he way sure that you were asleep that he wrapped an arm around your shoulders and smiled.

"Yeah. Goodnight, darlin'. Love ya too."

Vincent Sinclair :

"..."

You felt dizzy. What was in that cup that weird mechanic gave you ? You blinked several times before looking up and found a masked figure standing above you.

"...An angel.", you muttered dreamily and smiled as you slowly raised your hands to the angel's face. But, he seemed to avoid your touch as he grabbed your hands firmly and refused to let you touch him.

You pouted and whined—surely under the influence of some kind of drug.

"Sorry, angel. Just thought you were so pretty...Couldn't help myself."

Vince tilted his head quizzically at you. Bo must have given you way too much sleeping pills. You were completely out of it, and he refused to wax you unless you were in perfect shape. He sat down and looked at his hands—fidgeting and looking around nervously. He didn't know how much time it would take until you'd finally snap out of it.

However, the way you were staring at him made him self-conscious for some reason.

Suddenly, you giggled and shook your head left and right while staring at the ceiling.

"...You're not a big talker, are you angel ?"

Vince unsurprisingly didn't answer as he watched you intently and wondered if he should strap you to the table. But then, you let out a deep sigh and kept talking.

"But, I bet you're a very good listener. And since we're both trapped in here for now...My name is Y/N. I'm Y/A. And I love (flavor) ice-cream and puppies. Oh ! And I absolutely LOVE horror movies ! We should go watch one together some day, right angel ?"

The angel didn't answer. Vince was starting to actually question your sanity. Were you damaged goods ?

He grabbed his camera and decided to take a couple of picture before finishing you off.

He took a couple of pictures, but something irked him...You were smiling. In every single shot. None of the other victims had ever smiled during his photo sessions before.

"Should I strike a pose ?", you offered with a teasing smile and laughed at his dumbfounded expression.

You were a talker. But, Vincent didn't particularly mind. He glanced one last time at you before climbing up the stairs. He then crossed Bo in the corridor and asked how much time it would take for the drug's effects to end.

But, Bo frowned in incomprehension as he replied.

"Whatya talkin' about ? The drug wore off at least half an hour ago..."

They both paused for a moment before they seemed to realize the same thing at the same moment.

"Sh*t !", Bo shouted before running down the stairs—followed closely by Vincent.

When they arrived downstairs, you weren't there anymore and only the camera remained on the table. Vince picked it up while Bo ran back upstairs to hunt you down.

Vince saw that you had taken one more picture.

One when you were winking and beamed even brighter than on any of the other photos. It made him blush under his mask and he quickly got upstairs to develop the photos.

Not that he intended to keep that last one above his bed...

Jack Torrance :

Jack has panic attacks. He may be a ghost, but his memories come to haunt him. He sometimes has trouble recognizing his surroundings, or remember in what era he is. He sometimes wakes up in the middle of the night and screams.

"NO ! COME BACK !"

He would yell for the ghosts of his past to come back, and nobody knew how to help him...until you arrived at the hotel.

At first, you were supposed to be just another unfortunate victim, but all that was quickly forgotten when Jack found out you seemed to be the answer to his problems. He had one of his episodes and you didn't hesitate before running to his aid, wrapping your arms around his neck and holding him tight.

"Ssh...It's alright. It's alright."

You'd soothe him and it'd help him focus back to reality. It'd end with him deciding you might not be worth killing. He of course warned the other ghosts who didn't dare disobey him and you soon became a permanent resident in the hotel.

You'd help Jack with his night terrors, and he'd keep you alive.

It was more than a fair deal. He even started writing about you and unconsciously smiled to himself as he took you as his muse. But then, his smile dropped as he realized just how attached he had become to you.

He looked up at you from his typewriter and saw you hum to yourself while reading a book. It was innocent and it shouldn't make him feel the way it did, but his heart still skipped a beat.

...Sh*t.

Ghostface (In my AU, Eddie Munson is one of the Ghostfaces. I think you can guess the others. 😇)

Eddie and yourself had been friends since you were in middle school. You had heard rumors of course, but you didn't believe them. You knew deep down that Eddie was a good boy—or so you thought.

"Tell me...What is you favorite scary movie ?"

You heard someone say on the phone and frowned. Weird...You were about to answer when you heard noises coming from your kitchen. You hang up and slowly made your way to the kitchen and once inside, you found someone looking inside your fridge.

Your eyes widened and you quickly grabbed a knife.

"SHOW YOURSELF !"

The man immediately stilled and raised his hands in the air. When he finally lifted his head up, you saw Eddie with a piece of pizza in his mouth.

You let out a sigh of relief.

"Jeez, Eddie ! I thought you were a burglar !"

"...Well, if you count the cold pizza in your fridge ? Then, yes. I am a very dangerous thief.", he replied with a smile and winked playfully at you. You rolled your eyes before putting the knife down.

You then frowned and crossed your arms over your chest.

"And what exactly are you doing here ?", you asked suspiciously and Eddie chuckled awkwardly while running a hand through his brown locks nervously.

"Do I have to have a reason to come and visit my best friend ?"

You eyes narrowed, but you finally sighed and decided to let it slide.

"Fine, you weirdo. Wanna watch a movie ?", you asked and Eddie huffed a laugh.

"Does Frodo wear the ring of power ?"

You turned around and raised a quizzical eyebrow at him.

"It mean yes.", he clarified and you smiled before shaking your head.

"Alright. Then, get in here."

He followed you with a smile—but his smile dropped as he saw through your window a couple of hooded figures hiding in the shadows.

"Would you wait for me darling ? There's something I have to do first. You can start without me..."

He didn't wait for an answer before walking out.

Outside :

"I told you. They're off limit.", he spoke up as soon as he was out of your ear reach. And soon enough, he got an answer.

"Come on, Eddie. Why do you have to pick all the pretty ones ?!", one of the hooded figures complained. Eddie glared at them.

"Because this one is off limits. I already told you. End of discussion, big boy."

The Ghostface who had spoken first groaned loudly in annoyance—but didn't dare insist.

However, another spoke up.

"You can't protect them forever, Eddie."

He sent a threatening glare in their direction too.

"Mind your own business, Wheeler. Or, should I remind you who decided to use their veto on the Byers' boy ?"

"HEY !", they were about to protest—but the last hooded figure cut them off.

"What's so special about that one anyway ?"

They all seemed surprised at the question and the Ghostfaces all turned towards Eddie—awaiting his answer. Eddie bit his lower lip and balled his knuckles into fists. He wouldn't tell them. They didn't need to know.

"...Go home. This place is to never be targeted again, got it ?", he replied instead and the three others groaned in frustration—but finally complied.

"Fine. Whatever."

They all left and Eddie sighed deeply before turning back towards your house. One day, he'd tell you who he really is. But, until the day comes ?

He'd simply remain your best friend Eddie.

[scoobydoodean]

That whole, uh, I don't want to go back to school thing. Were you just saying that to Cooper or were you, you know, saying it? Sam? I don't know. You don't know? I thought that once the demon was dead and the fat lady sings that you were gonna take off, head back to Wussy State. I'm having second thoughts. Really? Yeah. I think. Dad would have wanted me to stick with the job.

Sam's Motivations 15/? | 2.02 Everybody Loves A Clown

[zadien]

This Is Our Time - Chapter Two - Game-Winning Goal

As Nyla moved up the bench to join the others, Sava’s smug expression melted into confusion.

“Wait—she’s calling you Lucy?” 

“Hmm, it did sound that way.” 

“That’s not—I want to renegotiate.” 

Lucy snorted inelegantly. “You already shook on it. If you try to take it back, you could end up with something worse. Like Saucy, or Wucy“—warming to the topic Lucy grinned wryly—“or Wussy!” 

Sava ran her tongue over her teeth and Lucy could see her cousin fight to control her annoyance, and then she sucked it up with a sniff and rose to her full height—which wasn’t any taller than Lucy’s 5’ 4”—, tugging the straps of her gloves tighter. “Doesn’t matter. When I score the game-winning goal, no one will even remember your name. It’ll be all Sava all the time and no amount of Juicy will matter.”

She stalked off. Lucy considered making a rude gesture but, with the cameras around her, she fisted her hands.

Maybe Sava was right. 

People always remembered the goals scored and rarely the goalies bending over backwards to keep a team in the game. If Sava scored the game-winning goal, her ego would be impossible to deal with. 

Read the rest on AO3

[stellar-constellations]

An Alliance (Part 4)

        Fem! Spy! (Y/N) x Yuri Briar

        Parts: One, two, three, current part, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten (to be continued when Spy x Family has more Yuri content!)

        (Y/N) is given her own backstory that is important for the story!

        The setting for this story is based off West and East Germany's (because Spy x Family is heavily based off Germany in the 1940-1950) laws (or at least replicated to the best of my abilities since it's unknown what time period Spy x Family is exactly in, we'll go with 1950 for the sake of this story). 

        Historically-accurate women misogyny and mistreatment! Only small comments and historically-accurate laws (replicated to the best of my ability). 

        The story, plot, and settings might not match up to the Spy x Family manga as it's not completed and the manga is still being crafted.

        This series contains spoilers for the manga and anime!

        I followed the first and second-lieutenant down the city hall hallway, holding our heads up high and walking with purpose. I tried to appear confident but I wasn't quite sure if I was as convincing as Briar and lieutenant—I look like a joke compared to them and it's all cause of my height (I'm sorry if you're not under 5'10").

        I mentally glared at Briar and lieutenant.        

        If I was taller, people would take me more seriously. Maybe if I was 6'6", Briar would stop being a jerk.

        I ignored the thought we entered an open-door room. Immediately, Jim was nervous.

        "D-do you people need something?!" he spoke, nervous in his seat.        

        Tsk-tsk. You're already acting like you know why we're here.

        The lieutenant showed Jim his SSS badge, then spoke: "We're from the State Security Service. Jim Hayward, correct? You're under arrest for suspicion of espionage."

        Me and Briar both walked behind him and grabbed his arms.

        "Y-you think I'm a spy?! Hey, wait!" he exclaimed as we dragged him as he tried sliding his feet on the floor.

        People gathered around, shocked and scared at the scene they're witnessing

         Wussies. And why the hell is everyone here? Does nobody know how to mind their damn business? I thought, my anger starting to raise as we were being gawked at by noisy bystanders. 

        "Stop this! Let me go!" Jim protested.

        "Shut up. You can give your story back at HQ." Lieutenant spoke. 

        Thank you. I was about to tell him off in a much more unprofessional way. 

        We dragged him to an armored van, throwing him in the back as me and Briar closed the door and opened the backseat doors, hopping in as first-lieutenant jumped in the passenger-seat. 

        "Drive to HQ." Lieutenant ordered the driver.

        The driver nodded as he sped off. I softly sighed and leaned my head on Briar's shoulder. 

        "Get. Off..." he harshly muttered, nudging me away from him.

        I glared at him, sticking out my tongue before leaning back on his shoulder.

        "I don't wanna..." I muttered back.

        "I don't care what you want..." he quickly retorted.

        I mentally whined, leaning off of Briar and huffing as I crossed my arms and legs to show I was angry.

        "Thank you for your assistance today, you two." The lieutenant spoke, causing me and Briar to both jump slightly, forgetting that he was here. 

        I looked up and saw him staring at us from the driver mirror. 

        "T-thank you, sir!" Briar quickly spoke, nodding his head in respect. 

        "Y-yes! Thank you for allowing me to accompany you both on this mission." I smiled, nodding my head too. 

        I didn't really want him to assume I was being disrespectful or naive; this guy kind of scares me.

        .

        .

        The Director waited outside of the interrogation room with me and Briar, waiting for any word from the lieutenant. 

        "Second-lieutenant Briar and female-lieutenant Mrs. Briar." The Director acknowledged, then looked at Briar. "Show your wife how it's done." The Director spoke, placing a cigar in his mouth.        

        Briar smiled, his eye twitching as I mentally gagged. We didn't say nothing since other officers were around us.

        "Yes, sir!" he saluted as I quickly copied his actions, "I'll give this my best shot!" he smiled, his eyes darkening as I mentally eyed him, confused with his sudden confidence in this.

        Is there something up his sleeve?

        We both walked into the dark room, seeing Jim facing the wall and at Lieutenant. A man sat in a nearby desk, documenting everything on paper as he wrote. 

        "Good work, Lieutenant. The boss asked me to switch in." Briar spoke.

        "Okay. I'll leave him to you two." Lieutenant spoke, a cigarette in his mouth as he stood up and patted Briar's shoulder.

        He walked over to me and patted me on the head. I watched him leave the room, visibly shocked and glaring holes into the back of his head.

        What'd he do that for?! Why didn't he pat me on the shoulder like Briar? Was that his way of saying he doesn't respect me as he does to Briar? Did he do that cause I'm a woman? Was it because of the height difference? I know Briar's more his height but the audacity of that man!

        Briar took a seat in front of Jim as I decided to watch a few steps away, watching closely to see how different he decided to take the approach as he did to me the first time we met.

        "Hello there, Mr. Hayward." Briar spoke, taking off his hat and taking a seat, just as he did when we met yesterday.

        "...I have nothing to say." Jim sighed.

        I took a good look at his face and did my best not to cackle.

        I guess being a woman isn't that bad if I don't get tortured like him. I thought to myself.

        Mr. Hayward had a completely bruised and swollen left eye, his face bruised and bloody as blood trickled from his nose and mouth (he was also missing a tooth). His arms and hands were burnt with cigarettes; I was able to tell from the specific blisters swelling up a pale red and the container containing smushed cigarettes (also because lieutenant walked out with a cigarette in his mouth). 

        "Listen to this!" Briar spoke excitedly, leaning on the table. "After this, I'll be going to congratulate my sister on her wedding!" 

        Now that caught me off guard.

        We're going to visit Briar's sister? I thought, before immediately shaking my head. Of course I'm not. Briar would never trust me around his dear sister, he doesn't even trust me to make coffee without running! Not to mention he gags just at the thought of us being legally married, so there's no way he's making me see his sister. He'll probably just drop me off in the Director's office.

        That thought made me angry. I wanna meet her! I want to know if she's a jerk like Briar or if she's nice!

        "I haven't even seen her for so long! I can't wait!" Briar cheered. 

        "Uh...okay..." Jim spoke, confused.

        "She's so kind and beautiful! I've always been so proud of my sister." Briar continued on.

        I silently-huffed, crossing my arms as I showed my distaste. 

        Why he is so excited? It's just family? If my family was still alive, I'd be visiting them every weekend! It feels like I have competition for Briar, and I hate it.

        Competition? For Briar? I mentally gagged. No, no. I just don't want him to get distracted. Maybe if he realizes his sister knows about me, he'll kill me because he's so ashamed of his sister finding out about me! I'm not worried about fighting for his attention! That would be childish of me.

        Yeah...childish...

        Just the thought of imagining this kind, beautiful, older sister of Briar's just left a disgusting, bitter taste in my mouth that not even plain black coffee or aloe could compete too. 

        I'm not jealous! I thought, tapping my boot on the ground to cope as I bit my cheek harder. 

        "Um, but...I..." Jim was utterly confused, just like me.

        "Oh! And she even works at the same office as you!" Briar beamed.

        The financial department in city hall? Is that why Briar wanted to know who I met when I was at city hall for a recent mission? Wow! He must really hate me if he doesn't want his sister to even know of my presence!

        I bit my cheek even harder, my foot tapping more rapidly as I started to dig my nails into my arms. 

        "That reminds me, I really need to call her office soon! Actually, I still haven't told her I'm coming..." Briar spoke, looking at the watch on his wrist. "Anyways, I'd like to finish this up and clock out. So how about you just tell me everything real quick?" Briar smiled. 

        "T-there's nothing to tell! This whole accusation is bullcrap!" Jim shouted.

        I watched as Briar pulled that yellow envelope out of his pocket that he collected from his office earlier. He emptied out the contents of it, showing pictures of Jim Hayward giving a man with a trench coat, suitcase, and hat a folder. 

        Ooo. Red-handed! I thought, resisting the urge to gasp. Wait, where did he get those if he didn't know about Jim yesterday?        

        "These are photos of you handing over the documents. That is you, right, Mr. Hayward?" Briar smiled contently. 

        "Hold on! You! Why weren't these photos in evidence until now!?" the man documenting this shouted, hastily writing with one hand as he looked at Briar, holding a photo of Jim Hayward committing treason in his other hand.        

        "Sorry, I forgot to turn them over. Ha ha." Briar smiled. 

        I eyed him suspiciously but decided not to say anything until later. 

        Hayward looked down and scoffed in defeat. He stayed quiet for a minute before speaking. 

        "...All I did was make copies of the documents they asked for and leave them at the designated location in exchange for cash." He admitted. "It's true that I don't know anything about the other man. Not even his name. Just that he's from the West." 

        Briar immediately looked at me, causing me to mentally scoff and shake my head: "He said a man; not a woman." I said with my eyes. "Wasn't me."        

        Briar looked back at Jim. "Did you notice anything unusual about him? The way he speaks? Body language? Maybe just an uncomfortable feeling? For example, did anything about him not match his apparent age?" Briar questioned.

        "I'm not sure... I don't remember anything like that..." Jim spoke. 

        "Alright then." Briar sighed, leaning his head on his hands. "Have you ever heard the name...Twilight?" he questioned. 

        Twilight again? Really? He should really change his codename or something since all of SSS knows that name. He must've slipped up and had a witness if his codename got in the hands of SSS. I wasn't even a known spy until that mole screwed me over. I thought, mentally scoffing. If I ever meet the bastard that got me in this situation, I'll do WISE a favor and execute the mole. 

        "Huh? Whose that?" Jim questioned.

        "A spy from the West. A master of disguise. And a villain who would throw this country into chaos. You could call him a natural enemy of an organization like ours." Briar explained.

        I mentally rolled my eyes. And here he goes again with his caveman talk of "West bad! East good!"         

        "S-so you'd let me off the hook if I help you catch him...?" Jim questioned, a hope in his eyes and tone. 

        "Well, do you know anything?" Briar questioned, serious as he leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms.

        "H-hold on, I'm remembering something..." Jim spoke, making me cock an eyebrow at his obvious lie.

        "Do keep in mind that feeding us nonsense will only add to your crimes." Briar pointed out.

        "...C'mon! I wasn't trying to hurt anyone! I just wanted some pocket change to mess around with girls! Honest!" Jim cracked. 

        "Don't you have a wife though...?" Briar questioned, judgment in his voice. 

        I resisted the powerful urge to slap Jim in the back of the head and scream my head off about his behavior and motivations. 

        "You're a man, you know how it is! Don't you want to sow your oats?" Jim spoke, trying to defend himself very poorly. “All I did was lose some scraps of paper, right? That’s not treason, right? You’ll let me go, right?” Jim spoke, smiling nervously as his eyes widened.

        “You know, Mr. Hayward. I’m keeping my job at the SSS a secret from my sister. After all, you can never be too careful in this line of work. But more importantly…” Briar reached into his pocket and grabbed black gloves as I leaned closer to see what he was about to do.

        “I don’t want her to know how much dirty work I have to do.” He spoke, quickly grabbing Jim’s head and slamming it down on the desk. 

        I jumped, gawking as the transcriber looked back to make sure I was alright, to which I nodded to as I observed closely from a different distance as I took a step back.

        “What you’ve done, Mr. Hayward, is absolutely treason.” Briar spoke, keeping Jim’s head down. “Maybe to you it was just a scrap of paper. But do you realize how many of our civilian’s lives you put in danger? Unlike you, I love my family. I love my sister. And I’ll do anything to protect the country she lives in.” Briar spat out harshly.

        Aw. That’s kind of cute but definitely not the time right now. I thought to myself.

        “Anything.” He spoke sinisterly, leaning forward and darkening his voice. 

        Yeah, not so cute anymore. I thought to myself.

        Briar sighed and looked back to the documenter. “Was that enough of a confession?” 

        The transcriber nodded, giving him a thumbs up. 

        “Good work, sir.” He spoke.

        Briar stood up, removing his hand from Jim. Jim shot up immediately and stared at him, shocked and shitless out of his mind.

        “W-what happens to me?” Jim questioned.

        “Oh. You’ll be going away for a very, very long time.” Briar smiled, removing his gloves. “But that doesn’t bother you, right? You won’t see your wife ever again, so what’s the problem?” 

        “H-hey! Wait! You can’t just leave me!” Jim spoke as Briar walked towards me.

        “You got him, right?” Briar questioned towards the transcriber.

        “Yep. Have a good day, sir.” He answered.

        Briar walked out, closing the door as I followed behind him, keeping a slight distance in case he was still mad. 

        “Did I scare you?” he questioned.

        “Yeah.” I admitted. “But your strength was kind of hot.” I spoke, causing Briar to whip his head around so damn quickly.

        “I—! You! You can’t just say that out of nowhere, especially at work!” he shouted, causing me to laugh. “My strength is to provoke fear, not…that!” he spoke.

        “I was just being honest?” I spoke, tilting my head and acting like I did nothing wrong.

        “Yeah? Well, keep those thoughts to yourself.” He huffed, his face red as we continued walking down the hallway to the Director’s office.

        We knocked, which was answered by an “enter.” 

        “Here you two are! My favorite workers!” he smiled. 

        I ignored the slight pride in my chest as the praise as Briar and I saluted. 

        “We got the confession from Jim Hayward.” Briar said.

        “Wonderful! I knew you could it, Mr. Briar. And how was the lesson, Mrs. Briar?” The Director asked me as me and Briar cringed.

        “Eh. It was…amusing and something I’m glad I didn’t miss.” I smiled, eyeing Briar as he huffed, his face going red.

        “I got a question for you, sir.” I spoke up.

        “It better not be something stupid.” Briar mumbled to me.

        “Why do I got the hat? I mean, it’s cute and all, but isn’t it for lieutenants? That, and it has roses.” I questioned, pointing at the hat.

        “It’s cute. And you’re our first female lieutenant. Who knows, we could have a female branch in the SSS and you’ll be in charge!” The Director spoke, fantasizing.

        “Segregation.” I pointed out.

        “But it’s not discriminatory.” The Director smiled.

        “Not in your book...” I grumbled, crossing my arms.

        “It’s a cute look. At least I didn’t give you the pink uniform, I was really contemplating it too.” The Director sighed, causing me look at him disgusted.

        “Yeah. Thanks for not ordering that pink uniform.” I sighed.

        “Actually, I’d think it’d suit you.” Briar chuckled.

        “You think?” The Director questioned, excited as he smiled.

        “No!” I retorted.

        “Yes. Especially because it’ll match your stuffed bun—“ I elbowed Briar hard in the stomach, causing him to double over and groan as the Director immediately decided to not laugh. 

        “That wasn’t cute…” Briar wheezed out as I smiled.

        “Sorry, honey.” I chuckled as Briar groaned, rolling his eyes as he stood up straight. 

        “Well, we should get going and clock out.” Briar spoke, a smile on his face (probably from thinking of his sister).

        “Oh, you’re not going to ditch me here?” I questioned. 

        “No? I mean, it’s a good idea.” Briar spoke. "Do you want that?"

        “Don’t leave me!” I immediately shut down the idea. “I just thought since you’re going to visit your sister you’d hide me.” I spoke.

        “Your visiting your sister?” The Director spoke. “That’s cute. Meeting your in-laws already.” 

        “Yeah. Couple goals.” I spoke sarcastically. 

        “Who said I was going to leave you? I have to make sure you don’t do something stupid. But there will be rules.” Briar stated.

        “Yes, sir.” I spoke, saluting, then looked at the Director. “Bye, Director, sir.” I spoke, bowing as Briar said his own goodbye.

        We walked out of the office and down the many hallways, getting to the outside of the locker rooms. He told me to"wait here", then grabbed our bags from his locker since I don't have my own locker yet.

        “Alright. I’m going to go change in the locker rooms, you go change in the fitting rooms there. We will meet right here. If you are not here in five minutes, I’ll pull this alarm right here and the whole building will go in lockdown.” Briar explained, pointing to a red button with a glass case surrounding it.

        “Okay.” I nodded. 

        I grabbed my bag that Briar handed to me and I walked to the changing room, quickly changing into my black long-sleeved shirt, black tights, dark gray shorts, and my black shoes. I stuffed my uniform into my bag and walked out of the room, stopping at the spot me and Briar agreed to meet at and waiting for him. 

        “Took you long enough.” I spoke playfully as he walked to me. 

        I grabbed his hand and held it, then made our way to the parking lot.

        “We’re going to go stop by a bouquet before we get there.” Briar spoke, and I nodded.

        We entered the car (with no tomfoolery from Briar) and shoved our bags in the backseat. We had a quiet and peaceful moment of silence, Briar drumming this fingers on the steering finger as I looked out the window. The sun was setting already.

        Has it really been that long? Today felt so short and…strangely fun? I thought. That’s weird. I’m not supposed to be enjoying my time with the enemy. I should be finding a way back to WISE's HQ before they realize I’m alive and working with the enemy. 

        “Yuri.” Briar suddenly spoke.

        I looked at him, confused. 

        “What?” I questioned.

        “My first name is Yuri, my last name is Briar.” He sighed.

        I looked at him, surprised as I blinked.

        “Don’t think you earned it—because you didn’t. But my sister doesn’t know about us at all; I just told her today that you’re my wife and that you’re coming with me for our visit.” Briar, no, Yuri, spoke.

        I smiled, my heart swelling at how he didn’t say “wife” with any sort of disgust or regret, simply stating it as if it was second nature.

        “My sister also doesn’t know about our jobs as the SSS, and she’s not allowed to know either. If you tell her, it’ll be a breach of the contract and I’ll execute you—with or without permission from the Director. My sister means more to me than my job or your life because of all she’s done for me. I won’t allow you to disrespect or take her kindness to your advantage. You will follow my lead.” Yuri spoke.

        I hummed, nodding to show I understood as I looked out the window, the sky darkening.

        “Yuri, Yuri…” I muttered. “I really love your name, Yuri. I think it suits you.” I admitted, turning my head so he could see my honesty as I smiled.

        He huffed, grumbling out a "thanks" as he hid his face.

        Parts: One, two, three, current part, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten (to be continued when Spy x Family has more Yuri content!)

        Want more Yuri content? Check out these headcannons and one shots!

        Yuri Briar x Sick! Fem! Reader

        Slightly mean! Yuri Briar x Fem! Reader

Yuri Briar x Fem! Reader headcannons + other fandoms!

        Have any requests? Check my masterlist to see the characters I write for: Masterlist (Please request, I have too much free time and too little fics).