#i want your honest heart
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deepbutdazzlingdarkness · 1 year ago
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i want your honest heart (38303 words) by deepbutdazzlingdarkness Chapters: 5/5 Fandom: SHINee, EXO (Band), SuperM (Korea Band) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Kim Jongin | Kai/Lee Taemin Characters: Lee Taemin, Kim Jongin | Kai, Kim Kibum | Key, Choi Minho, Byun Baekhyun, SM Entertainment Artist(s) Additional Tags: Forced Outing, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Canon Compliant, Future Fic, Friends to Lovers, Friends With Benefits, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Alcohol, Explicit Sexual Content, First Time Bottoming, Dirty Talk, Mirror Sex, Exhibitionism, Sharing a Bed, Mentions of Anxiety, Minor Choi Minho/Kim Kibum | Key
Summary: Post-enlistment, pictures of Jongin making out with Taemin at a club surface on Twitter, causing an obvious uproar in the media and among fans. Only one problem - the guy with Jongin isn’t actually Taemin. SM’s solution to this? Time to fake-date.
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shalomniscient · 5 months ago
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thhtis might just be a big pet peeve to me but i hate when people write kjsr as someone cold or possessive, i always viewed her character as someone who is actually so soft when it comes to love. i cant see her saying anything awful with intention to her s/o and just prob cherishes each moment and intimacy.
yeah, sara is the victim of some INSANE mischaracterisation... i was informed that some people thought of sara as a karen, of all fucking things, and the psychic damage i took from that statement was unfathomable. it was so horrendously insulting i had to put my phone down and breathe for a solid minute, because sara? being a karen? the peak of entitlement? be so fr. sara struggles to even accept her place within the kujou clan, despite being its golden child. she doesn't know how to be entitled to even love, let alone anything else.
there is a quote, i forget by who, which goes "(s)he had the awkward tenderness of someone who has never been loved, and is forced to improvise", and i think it describes her so well. sara was raised to be takayuki's perfect weapon first, and a person second. for sara, to be a 'kujou' is to be the untouchable general, the prodigal child, the crowfeather kaburaya which heralds nothing but victory for the kujou clan. her place in her 'family' is intrinsically tied to what she can give to them, not who she is as a person. her image of her own worth is so entangled with being needed that she doesn't know how to be anything else. she explicitly states that she has never given any thought to her personal aspirations. never. that's so insane and heartbreaking to me like... my love, you are more than what you can give. so i agree with you on the part that sara would be so, so tender when it comes to love. this is uncharted territory, and she's learning as she goes, but you could never be unloved by her. she knows what that's like, and she could never hurt you the same way.
anyway, live laugh love kujou sara. i've been in the kjsr camp for 3 fucking years and i'll continue to be here until the day i die
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bonefall · 11 months ago
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Did Brambleclaw actually disown the Three when the secret is revealed? I don't remember this happening (then again, it's been a while) but it does bug me how all three go "Poor brambleclaw :(( He was such a good dad to us and he has to learn we're not even his biokits :(((( poor guy" while simultaneously shitting on Leafpool and Squirrelflight despite them showing them more care and affection before AND after the reveal. If he does disown them, then.... WOW is the double standard real here.
In-canon? It's something you have to approximate. They don't seem to have a concept of ""disowning"" because blood relation is taken as such an insurmountable, FUNDAMENTAL fact of life. He doesn't write them out of his little kitty will and testament, but his actions ARE disowning.
It's as if the fact he is not their biological father is an automatic disowning. From the reveal onwards, he is immediately cold, distant, and the "betrayal" is mentioned often. The Three also explicitly don't blame him for his behavior, like it's just to be expected that he's Not Their Dad anymore.
Lionblaze in particular stares longingly at him several times, really missing him. And like... that's kinda what gets my goat so much
I do believe Brambleclaw is entitled to his feelings of betrayal. I believe Squilf was ultimately in the right to lie, actually, but he's still allowed to be upset and angry that she didn't trust him enough to tell him something so important. THAT SAID, YOU ARE NEVER ENTITLED TO TREAT OTHERS POORLY.
And that's what GETS me. He isn't upset that it was all revealed in such a painful and embarassing way when this could have been avoided, or that his lover struggled with this lie for so long without him, or that he feels he's lost his children. Squilf points it out in The Last Hope-- He's so ANGRY at Squilf that he will THROW HIS FAMILY AWAY
Lionblaze seems desperate to be his son again. Hollyleaf is gone for months, and Brambleclaw is still huffing about the secret when she comes back from the dead. Squilf is fawning in the hopes it makes him talk to her again. Doesn't matter. Brambleclaw Is Upsetti Spaghetti so the narrative will never examine his role in hurting this family he apparently loved so much.
(Narrative seems to understand full well that when Squilf lies for a good reason, that doesn't invalidate the hurt Brambleclaw felt... but when Brambleclaw is upset for a good reason, it actually DOES validate what he put her and his kids through)
In BB it is explicitly a disowning. He cuts them off as his children, and they reciprocate. BB!Lionblaze does so in a ball of fury, vowing that he has ONLY a mother.
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lillymakesart · 9 months ago
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my new OC: cempaka!
she is based on the story/universe that my friend @haydardotjpg's OCs indra and yuwei exist in! pls go checkout haydar's art he is amazing!! his ocs can be found more easily on his ig but if you're lazy this is his oc indra (cempaka's one-sided love interest) and yuwei (indra's fated lover)
also, cempaka means "magnolia" in malay!! (she gets a flower name bc my name is lilly which is also flower c:)
bonus first iteration under the cut!
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i accidentally had "poinsettia" flower in mind when i did this iteration instead of an actual magnolia, hence the color scheme. but yeah, this is as self-insert as it gets LOL like she's literally MEEEEEE but still very different and i love her as she is <3
#my art#original character#oc#oc art#art#im in love with her actually#she has 4 brothers all named after flowers#mawar kekwa orkid and melati#not me using google translate literally on the fly i hope im not being culturally insensitive 😭#but anyway they lost their parents at a young age so she was raised by her brothers#shes the youngest by far tho by like 9 years from her next closest brother#mawar is the oldest hes like 40 a very important Leader Of People so he is not very present in her life#kekwa is a doctor and 38 and he travels often for work so he is also not very present but he visits sometimes#orkid and melati are twins theyre both 30#orkid is a scholar and on track to being a professor at a prestigious uni#melati is traveling the world doing soul searching#cempaka is 21 she is literally a baby and her brothers send her back money but shes mostly alone#so she joins a traveling dance troupe and she gets really good at dancing#she meets indra while on the road dancing and performing and she is SMITTEN#like shes just head over heels in love with this man because hes so warm and inviting and he fills a void in her life#he makes her feel so incredibly seen and not alone and the feeling is addicting she cant get enough#ok idk most of the details bc i havent read haydars full story BUT#basically to my understanding yuwei and indra are separated for a while#and cempaka knows up front that indra is in love with yuwei like hes very honest with her about this and she appreciates it#but she still wants a chance because indras the only person in the world that has ever made her feel truly seen and loved#so she tries to be with him to ease her loneliness but it breaks her heart whenever he misses yuwei openly#also AGAIN listen im trying to basically write fanfic for a story that doesnt exist LOLL#HAYDAR IF YOURE READING THIS PLS WRITE UR STORY LMFAO
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naamahdarling · 1 month ago
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#i gotta go get my T bloodwork done tomorrow#which is fine but like#last time i was there the nurse was REALLY weird and they were pretty annoyed with me#because i hadn't come in for a long time#because life shit happened including breaking my ankle#and it's the same situation now but like so much fucking worse#and i don't want them to be assholes to me about it or about how i kind of miss shots quite a bit#like that's A Thing#it's a problem for me#but i don't deserve AT ALL to get scolded for it or treated like I'm doing something wrong#ugh i just have a chip on my shoulder#i know it has the potential to go fine and i am bringing backup with me#but EVERYTHING has gone wrong lately!#and if this goes wrong there is every chance it'll drive me to getting the stuff online and not getting bloodwork AT ALL#and I want to tell them that but I feel like they'd just be shitty about it because ultimately they may be an inclusive clinic#but they are still medical professionals and gatekeepers at heart and you can't trust medpros and gatekeepers further than you can spit#idk man I'm an adult just leave me alone to do my thing and accept that I will be in once a year for sure but no promises on more than that#i'm tired in advance#idk i just got the feeling last time that they were accusing me of getting my T illicitly and it's like bitch im not but even if i was#aren't you supposed to be a place people can be honest about their situations? am i not here jumping through your hoops to do it legally?#im doing what you wanted but the thing is I DON'T HAVE TO and if you keep acting weird im going to have to STOP#because i don't have energy to deal with my disintegrating life AND gatekeeping judgy bullshit#do cis men have to dance like this?
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possamble · 9 months ago
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I absolutely really need to be writing anything but random ideas while I procrastinate and this is so awful rough bc I literally wrote it on my phone in one sitting while avoiding work but
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Do you see my vision. Her Nosy Bitch Syndrome would actually be good for him when they've both chilled out a little in the postcanon.
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kitabasis · 3 months ago
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(Lyrics from If I Could from the I Saw the TV Glow OST)
I’m sure there’s multiple interpretations/meanings of this but right now I’m just hit with…oh my god Tara loves Isabel so much…
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demigod-of-the-agni · 11 months ago
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Spider-Man India, but... where from India?
A SUPER long post featuring talks of: cultural identity, characterisation, the caste system, and what makes Spider-Man Spider-Man.
I’m prefacing this by saying that I am a second-generation immigrant. I was born in Australia, but my cultural background is from South India. My experiences with what it means to be “Indian” is going to be very different from the experiences of those who are born and brought up in India.
If you, reader, want to add anything, please reblog and add your thoughts. This is meant to be a post open for discussion — the more interaction we get, the better we become aware of these nuances.
So I made this poll asking folks to pick a region of India where I would draw Pavitr Prabhakar in their cultural wear. This idea had been on my mind for a long while now, as I had been inspired by Annie Hazarika’s Northeastern Spidey artwork in the wake of ATSV’s release, but never got the time to actually do it until now. I wanted to get a little interactive and made the poll so I could have people choose which of the different regions — North, Northeast, Central, East, West, South — to do first.
The outcome was not what I expected. As you can see, out of 83 votes:
THE RESULTS
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South India takes up almost half of all votes (44.6%), followed by Northeast and Central (both 14.5%) and then East (13.3%). In all my life growing up, support towards or even just the awareness of South India was pretty low. Despite this being a very contained poll, why would nearly half of all voters pick South India in favour of other popular choices like Central or North India?
Then I thought about the layout of the poll: Title, Options, Context.
Title: "Tell us who you want to see…"
Options: North, Northeast, Central, East, West, South
Context: I want to make art of the boy again
At first I thought: ah geez. this is my fault. I didn't make the poll clear enough. do they think I want them to figure out where Pavitr came from? That's not what I wanted, maybe I should have added the context before the options.
Then I thought: ah geez. is it my fault for people not reading the entire damn thing before clicking a button? That's pretty stupid.
But regardless, the thought did prompt a line of thinking I know many of us desi folk have been considering since Spider-Man India was first conceived — or, at least, since the announcement that he was going to appear in ATSV. Hell, even I thought of it:
Where did Spider-Man India come from?
FROM A CULTURALLY DIVERSE INDIA
As we know, India is so culturally diverse, and no doubt ATSV creators had to take that into account. Because the ORIGINAL Spider-Man India came from Mumbai — most likely because Mumbai and Manhattan both started with the same letter.
But going beyond that, it’s also because Mumbai is one of the most recognisable cities in India - it’s also known as Bombay. It’s where Bollywood films are shot. It’s where superstar Hindi actors and actresses show up. Mumbai is synonymous with India in that regard, because the easiest way Western countries can interact with Indian culture is through BOLLYWOOD, through HINDI FILMS, through MUMBAI. Suddenly, India is Mumbai, India is a Hindi-only country, India is just this isolated thing we see through an infinitely narrow lens.
We’ve gotten a little better in recent years, but boy I will tell you how uncomfortable I’ve gotten when people (yes, even desi people) come up to me and tell me, Oh, you’re Indian right? Can you speak Hindi? Why don’t you speak Hindi? You’re not Indian if you don’t speak Hindi, that’s India’s national language!
I have been — still am — so afraid of telling people that I don’t speak Hindi, that I’m Tamil, that I don’t care that Hindi is India’s “national” language (it’s an administrative language, Kavin, get your fucking facts right). It’s weird, it’s isolating, and it has made me feel like I wasn’t “Indian” enough to be accepted into the group of “Indian” people.
So I am thankful that ATSV went out of their way to integrate as much variety of Indian culture into the Mumbattan sequence. Maybe that way, the younger generation of desi folk won’t feel so isolated, and that younger Western people will be more open to learning about all these cultural differences within such a vast country.
BUT WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH SPIDER-MAN INDIA?
Everything, actually. There’s a thing called supremacy. You might have heard of it. We all engaged with it at some point, and if you are Indian, no matter where you live, it is inescapable.
It happens the moment you are born — who your family is, where you are born, the language you speak, the colour of your skin; these will be bound to you for life, and it is nigh impossible to break down the stereotypes associated with them.
Certain ethnic groups will be more favourable than others (Centrals, and thus their cultures, will always be favoured over than Souths, as an example) and the same can be said for social groups (Brahmins are more likely to secure influential roles in politics or other areas like priesthood, while the lowers castes, especially Dalits, aren’t even given the decency of respect). Don’t even get me started on colourism, where obviously those of fairer skin will win the lottery while those of darker skin aren’t given the time of day. It’s even worse when morality ties into it — “lighter skinned Indians, like Brahmins, embody good qualities like justice and wisdom”, “dark skinned Indians are cunning and poor, they are untrustworthy”. It’s fucking nuts.
This means, of course, you have a billion people trying to make themselves heard in a system that tries to crush everyone who is not privileged. It only makes sense that people want to elevate themselves and break free from a society that refuses to acknowledge them. These frustrations manifest outwardly, like in protests, but other times — most times — it goes unheard, quietly shaping your way of life, your way of thinking. It becomes a fundamental part of you, and it can go unacknowledged for generations.
So when you have a character like Pavitr Prabhakar enter the scene, people immediately latch onto him and start asking questions many Western audiences don’t even consider. Who is he? What food does he eat? What does he do on Fridays? What’s his family like, his community? All these questions pop up, because, amidst all this turmoil going on in the background, you want a mainstream popular character to be like you, who knows your way of life so intimately, that he may as well be a part of your community.
BUT THAT'S THE THING — HE'S FICTIONAL
I am guilty of this. In fact, I’ve flaunted in numerous posts how I think he’s the perfect Tamil boy, how he dances bharatanatyam, how he does all these Tamil things that no one will understand except myself. All these niche things that only I, and maybe a few others, will understand.
I’ve seen other people do it, too. I’ve seen people geek out over his dark brown skin, his kalari dhoti, how he fights so effortlessly in the kalaripayattu martial arts style. I’ve seen people write him as Malayali, as Hindi, as every kind of Indian person imaginable.
I’ve also seen him be written where he’s subjected to typical Indian and broader Asian stereotypes. You know the ones I’m so fond of calling out. The thing is, I’ve seen so much of Pavitr being presented in so many different ways, and I worry how the rest of the desi folk will take it. 
You finally have a character who could be you, but now he’s someone else’s plaything. Your entire life is shaped by what you can and can’t do simply because you were born to an Indian family, and here’s the one person who could represent you now at the mercy of someone else’s whims. He’s off living a life that is so distant from yours, you can hardly recognise him.
It shouldn’t hurt as much as it does, yeah? But, again, you’re looking at it from that infinitely narrow lens Westerners use to look at India from Bollywood.
AND PAVITR PRABHAKAR DOESN'T LIVE IN INDIA
He lives in Mumbattan. He lives in a made-up, fictional world that doesn’t follow the way of life of our world. He lives in a city where Mumbai and Manhattan got fucking squashed together. There are so many memes about colonialism right there. Mumbattan isn’t real! Spider-Man India isn’t real!! He’s just a dude!! The logic of our world doesn’t apply to him!!!
“But his surname originates from ______” okay but does that matter?
“But he’s wearing a kalari dhoti so surely he’s ______” okay but does that matter?
“But his skin colour is darker so he must be ______” okay but does that matter?
“But he lives in Mumbai so he must be ______” okay but does that matter?
I sound insensitive and brash and annoying and it looks like I’m yapping just for the sake of riling you up, so direct that little burst of anger you got there at me, and keep reading.
Listen. I’m going to ask you a question that I’ve asked myself a million times over. I want you to answer honestly. I want you to ask this question to yourself and answer honestly:
Are you trying to convince me on who Pavitr Prabhakar should be?
... but why shouldn't i?
I’ll tell you this again — I did the same thing. You’re not at fault for this, but I want you to just...have a little think over. Just a little moment of self-reflection, to think about why you are so intent on boxing this guy.
It took me a while to reorganise my thinking and how to best approach a character like Pavitr, so I will give you all the time you need as well as a little springboard to focus your thoughts on.
SPIDER-MAN (INDIA) IS JUST A MASK
“What I like about the costume is that anybody reading Spider-Man in any part of the world can imagine that they themselves are under the costume. And that’s a good thing.”
Stan Lee said that. Remember how he was so intent on making sure that everybody got the idea that Spider-Man as an entity is fundamentally broken without Peter Parker there to put on the suit and save the day? That ultimately it was the person beneath the mask, no matter who they were, that mattered most?
Spider-Man India is no less different. You can argue with me that Peter Parker!Spidey is supposed to represent working class struggles in the face of leering corporate entities who endanger the regular folk like us, and so Pavitr Prabhakar should also function the same way. Pavitr should also be a working class guy of this specific social standing fighting people of this other social standing.
But that takes away the authenticity of Spider-Man India. Looking at him through the Peter Parker lens forces you to look at him through the Western lens, and it significantly lessens what you can do with the character — suddenly, it’s a fight to be heard, to be seen, to be recognised. It’s yelling over each other that Pavitr Prabhakar is this ethnicity, is that caste, this or that, this or that, this or that.
There’s a reason why he’s called Spider-Man India, infuriatingly vague as it is. And that’s the point — the vagueness of his identity fulfils Lee’s purpose for a character that could theoretically be embodied by anyone. If he had been called “Spider-Man Mumbai”, you cut out a majority of the population (and in capitalist terms, you cut out a good chunk of the market).
And in the case of Spider-Man India? Whew — you’ve got about a billion people imagining a billion different versions of him.
Whoever you are, whatever you see in Pavitr, that is what is personal to you, and there is nothing wrong with that, and I will not fault you for it. I will not fault you for saying Pavitr is from Central due to the origins of his last name. I also will not fault you for saying Pavitr is from South due to him practising kalaripayattu. I also will not fault you for saying he is not Hindu. I also will not fault you for saying he is a particular ethnicity without any proof.
What I will fault you for is trying to convince me and the others around you that Pavitr Prabhakar should be this particular ethnicity/have this cultural background because of some specific reason. I literally don’t care and it is fundamentally going against his character, going against the “anyone can wear the mask” sentiment of Spider-Man. By doing this, you are strengthening the walls that first divided us. You’re feeding the stratification and segmentation of our cultures — something that is actually not present in the fictional world of Mumbattan.
Like I said before: Mumbattan isn’t real, so the divides between ethnicities and cultural backgrounds are practically nonexistent. The best thing is that it is visually there for all to see. My favourite piece of evidence is this:
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It’s a marquee for a cinema in the Mumbattan sequence, in the “Quick tour: this is where the traffic is” section. It has four titles; the first two are written in Hindi. The third title is written in Bengali*, and the fourth title is written in Tamil. You go to Mumbai and you won’t see a single shred of Bengali nor Tamil there, much less any other language that's not common in Maharashtra (Western India). Seeing this for the first time, you know what went through my head?
Wow, the numerous cultures of India are so intermingled here in Mumbattan! Everyone and everything is welcome!
I was happy, not just because of Tamil representation, but because of the fact that the plethora of Indian cultures are showcased coexisting in such a short sequence. This is India embracing all the little parts that make up its grander identity. This scene literally opened my eyes seeing such beauty in all the diverse cultures thriving together. In a place where language and cultural backgrounds blend so easily, each one complementing one another.
It is so easy to believe that, from this colourful palette of a setting, Pavitr Prabhakar truly is Spider-Man India, no matter where he comes from.
It’s easy to believe that Pavitr can come from any part of India, and I won’t call you out if the origin you have for him is different from the origin I have. You don’t need to stake out territory and stand your ground — you’re entitled to that opinion, and I respect it. In fact, I encourage it!!!
Because there’s only so much you can show in a ten minute segment of a film about a country that has such a vast history and even greater number of cultures. I want to see all of it — I want him to be a Malayali boy, a Hindi boy, a Bengali boy, a Telugu boy, an Urdu boy, whatever!! I want you to write him or draw him immersed in your culture, so that I can see the beauty of your background, the wonderful little things that make your culture unique and different from mine!
And, as many friends have said, it’s so common for Indian folks to be migrating around within our own country. A person with a Maharashtrian surname might end up living in Punjab, and no one really minds that. I’m actually from Karnataka, my family speaks Kannada, but somewhere down the line my ancestors moved to Tamil Nadu and settled down and lived very fulfilling lives. So I don’t actually have the “pure Tamil” upbringing, contrary to popular belief; I’ve gotten a mix of both Kannada and Tamil lifestyles, and it’s made my life that much richer. 
So it’s common for people to “not” look like their surname, if that’s what you’re really afraid about. In fact, it just adds to that layer of nuance, that even despite these rigid identities between ethnicities we as Indian people still intermingle with one another, bringing slivers of our cultures to share with others. Pavitr could just as well have been born in one state and moved around the country, and he happens to live in Mumbattan now. It’s entirely possible and there’s nothing to disprove that.
We don’t need to clamber over one another declaring that only one ethnicity is the “right” ethnicity, because, again, you will be looking at Pavitr and the rest of India in that narrow Western lens — a country with such rich cultural variety reduced to a homogenous restrictive way of life.
THE POLL: REINTERPRETED
This whole thing started because I was wondering why my little poll was so skewed — I thought people assumed I was asking them where he came from, then paired his physical appearance with the most logical options available. I thought it was my fault, that I had somehow influenced this outcome without knowing.
Truth is, I will never really know. But I will be thankful for it, because it gave me the opportunity to finally broach this topic, something that many of us desi folk are hesitant to talk about. I hope you have learned something from this, whether you are desi or a casual Spider-Man fan or someone who just so happened to stumble upon this. 
So just…be a little more open. Recognise that India, like many many countries and nations, is made up of a plethora of smaller cultures. And remember, if you’re trying to convince Pavitr that he’s a particular ethnicity, he’s going to wave his hand at you and say, “Ha, me? No, I’m one of the people that live here in the best Indian city! I’m Spider-Man India, dost!”
(Regardless, he still considers you a friend, because to him, the people matter more to him than you trying to box him into something he’s not.)
*Note: thank you dear anon for letting me know that the third title was Bengali, twas my mistake for literally completely forgetting
#long post + more tags that kinda spiral away BUT expand on the points above AND kinda puts everything together concisely#BROS THIS IS AN HONEST TO GOD ESSAY#THAT HAS BEEN COOKING IN MY HEART FOR A WHILE NOW. SIMMERING FOR MONTHS BEFORE FINALLY BOILING OVER IN THE LAST WEEK#genuinely hope you read MOST of it because yes it has Quite A Lot Of Exposition but it all matters nonetheless#put in a lot of thought into this so i expect you to do your part and challenge your thoughts as well#you see how i'm not asking for you to listen to me. but to actually Think. i want you to cook your thoughts and add some spice and flavour#and give it a good mix so you can come out of this a little more wiser than before#because!!! yeah!!!! spider man india is just that!! he's indian!!!!! we don't need to collectively agree on where he comes from#bc it gets rid of that relatability factor of spider man. at the most basic level#think of it as a schrodinger's. he is every single culture and none of them at the same time. therefore none of us are wrong!! sick!!!!#pavitr's first priority is making sure HIS PEOPLE are safe. that's probably as far as we can go that relates him back to peter parker spide#he loves his people and working in the name of justice to FIGHT for HIS PEOPLE is just the duty/responsibility he takes up#it makes sense that he loves everyone and every culture he engages with bc that's the nature of spider man i suppose#if peter parker spidey acts as the guardian for the regular folk.. then in my mind pavitr spidey stands as the bridge uniting the people#because society as its core is very fragmented. and having pavitr act as a connection to other folks.... mmmmm beautiful#that's what i'm talking abouttttt !!!#anyways guys this is literally 3001 words on my document EXCLUDING THE TITLE. THAT'S 7 PAGES AT 11pt FONT. i'm literally cryingggg wtf#pavitr prabhakar#spider man#spider man india#desi#desiblr#atsv#across the spiderverse#atsv pavitr#indian culture#india#desi tumblr#what the fuck do i tag this as#agnirambles
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saetiate · 18 days ago
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° 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ CORAE ₒ 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 °
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it seems like it's impossible for Sae to keep his hands off of you when you're anywhere near him. if you're sitting next to him, his arm is resting on your shoulders or his hand is on your waist. perhaps it rests even lower, if no one he cares about is around. and when you're in private, he pulls you onto his lap, one hand gripping your thigh while the other cradles your neck, his thumb resting behind your ear so he can feel the way your pulse flutters and jumps as he kisses you again and again. but when you reveal to him what you're wearing, it's his own heart that races. lace and silk cling to your body, held up by straps that are so thin he could snap them with his hands. however, his eyes keep getting drawn back up to your throat, at the white ribbon tied in a pretty little bow—a present, just for him. he touches the bow before gripping your chin, teal eyes dark and piercing as he makes a demand. "you're keeping that on." and nothing else.
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ZE U HAVE OUTDONE YOURSELF AND RUINED ME W THIS ENTIRELY BODY AND SOUL. MY RAMBLED REACTION BELOW
HELLO ZE??? i smiled so big when i saw this you have no idea i am gonna sob rn. i'm ngl i wanted to save this in my ask box forever for me... screenshotted it the moment i saw it... going to keep this as a note in my pocket forever.. jaw on the floor heart in my hands this is so beautiful and sexy and hot ohmygod... i love you so much. WAHHH THIS IS SO GOOD. UR SUCH A TALENTED WRITER I LOVE HOW U WRITE SO MUCH THIS IS DRIVING ME CRAZYYYYY. HIS HAND resting lower... i am going to sob what a tease... gripping my thigh :') wanting to feel my reaction under his hands :') OKAYYY YES I AM for him 100% he can have it anyway he wants ohmygod. me? a present? i feel so pretty wahhhh ZE YOU HAVE OUTDONE YOURSELF U HAVE RUINED ME W THIS I AM EATING THIS UP LIKE A FULL COURSE MEAL. AND THE IMAGES TOO?? the HANDS AND THE WAY SHES BEING GRIPPED AND THE POSSESSSION OHHH IM SO SICK SOOOO SICK i want him so bad ueueue... he can have me exactly like this... you're so talented in so many ways w ur writing and ur aesthetic eye wahhh this means so much to me esp bc ik u don't even watch this show i believe HAHA AHHHH U R the greatest ever... i am so grateful... so grateful for ur time and ur energy to send this to me wahhhhh ueueue i am a big gooey mess of love and heat rn . i love you so much !!!!!!!!!!!
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invinciblerodent · 2 months ago
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anyway, I really, really love how, if you romance Davrin, there's that beautiful moment in the final goodbye when he refers back to (at least one of-) the lines that can be said in the main romance scene:
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[Davrin: You said you wanted the road less-traveled. Seems like we've got it right here.
Davrin: All I care about is that I'm there with you.]
after a personal storyline that's in large part about him overcoming an aversion of uncertainty, and embracing the potential for change and choosing who one wants to be (like most of the others, but it's arguably even more pronounced in his, as it's reflected through the griffons' story), that's just a really beautiful sentiment.
after spending so long thinking of himself as a weapon, believing one's destiny to be set in stone, even believing himself -and by extension, the griffons- to be "meant" for one immutable thing by their very nature...
it feels very satisfying and touching to know that he's willing to head into an unknown future with nothing truly secure, except for the hand holding his.
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wildsaltair · 2 days ago
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Ten things I love most about Maximus in honor of Valentine’s Day:
He loves so deeply — his wife, his son, his friends, his mentor, his soldiers, his fellow gladiators, etc. He would do anything for those he loves.
He’s kind and considerate, and he always makes a point to value the humanity of each person he encounters.
He’s a man of absolute honor and dignity, no matter how anyone treats him or tries to change him.
He has the ability to rise to the top of any situation because he’s naturally intelligent, observant, and worthy of respect.
He isn’t corrupted by power or influence, and he remains humble no matter what honors are given to him.
He longs for the simple things in life — the company of his wife and son, his land and crops, his horses, his garden, his everyday routine on the farm.
He is absolutely unwavering in his loyalty and his principles.
He has such grit and perseverance through any obstacles. He sees his work through to the end, no matter what he has to do.
He knows his own weaknesses and faults well enough to stay humble and anticipate his own failings, which only makes him stronger and more reliable.
He is just so good, so faithful, so honorable, so strong and dignified and focused and noble. I love him so very much.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Now for the shallow list:
His big blue eyes the color of the sky over the sea
His muscles!! he is! so strong!
His deep, steady voice
His big strong manly hands ughhhh
His intensity and focus
His muscles again! His arms and shoulders and back and chest and etc etc!
His endless endurance
His combination of tenderness and passion
His smile that turns his whole face into a beaming ray of sunlight
Every single inch of him is so beloved by me how am I supposed to stop this list
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widowshill · 7 days ago
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honestly 13 has to be one of my favorite episodes because there's literally no other way to read burke's invitation to roger other than a dick appointment.
liz: maybe you two should just stay away from each other roger: he wants to see me again tonight ;) liz, remembering how it ended last time roger met burke in shitty dive bars to "discuss business": please god help me to not cave my brother's skull in with a rock
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blanketfortz · 1 year ago
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eat your heart its oh so lovely 🫀 redraw of this
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dykedvonte · 10 months ago
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If Ulysses has a million haters, then I'm one of them. If Ulysses has one hater, then I'm THAT ONE. If Ulysses has no haters, that means I'm dead. If the world is with Ulysses than I’m against the world.
#this is slightly joking but like also not but also like am mixed on Ulysses on many factors#infuriating because i sympathize with his pain but it’s like#he is a well written and fundamentally flawed character whose hypocrisy I found doubly in#black characters I can tell were designed by white people with a semblance of an understanding of activism and bipoc oppression#but not enough for the character to not feel like hand holding for the majority white audience#plus personal grips with the whole twisted hairs thing and reference to slave braiding patterns#Ulysses irks me as a black person on a weird personal level and I can go into debt on why him being black is a big detractor for him to me#like he continues this cycle of distancing himself from his roots before remembering over and over again through his actions#he leave so much in his wake that the courier ends up correcting or helping like in honest hearts and old world blues because he’s self#righteous in a subtle way even to himself that he believes he stand out of his one man rule when he does not play an active hand#saw a post talk about how you choose to continue moving through his story and can leave at any moment and this it is partially your fault#but what of the oath that is set before you and is forced to take that he set up#I do not have to walk it but when I do the steps are not my own but those taken for me#you have to go out of your way to change it which is not something he expects because he’s playing by a story he’s been perpetuating in his#head about you two and the effect one man has when he’s continually been that one man more so than you as many of his actions directly lead#to the one you go through also the irony in the flag he continues to bear being the real reason he has no home#like he reps it when the package is likely enclave and thus use the same symbol#also still can’t get over how anyone could have delivered the package and he tries so hard to act like it was the couriers destiny or fate#when this was the one case of chance and that once man was likely a enclave engineer and how it’s really is never one man#it the process and he’s so annoying about it like he’s a cool character but if you don’t believe in his philosophy or already went through#these ideas cause they are very common talking points in poc especially BIPOC spaces he’s just old hashings and stunted#fallout#fallout new vegas#Ulysses you upset me but I’m like I feel you could be better if you weren’t so incessant#I don’t think I ever want to make a serious post stating this about him just because I’d start yapping and it’d never get finished#ulysses fnv#fnv ulysses#lonesome road
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massiveladycat · 6 months ago
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yeah so i just read like HALF of a heart so broken and lonely and i already know im abt to be in the trenches defending rhen and at the same time honestly not liking harper x grey
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orcelito · 1 year ago
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Ok. Real question. How many people Actually have believed in Santa? Bc I never did, mostly bc my dad never bothered with the entire pretense, so the whole concept is just. Really fucking strange to me
Putting an actual poll bc I feel like I'm losing my mind a bit thinking about how apparently widespread it is. Like. It's just so... weird? Why is this the thing people have popularized? It makes no sense.
#speculation nation#polls#like ok my dad's an atheist raised by jewish parents so xmas has never really been a religious sort of holiday to me#we celebrate it bc it's fun to give gifts and spend time with family#but that's... it.#all the lore and mythos of xmas is just so weird to me#like baby jesus etc etc but now here comes saint nicholas with the steel chair! (breaking into your house to eat your cookies#and leave presents Only for the rich kids! why only the rich ones? uhmmm Dont worry about it!)#genuinely speaking my dad's worked at ups my whole life so growing up he'd say he (and the rest of his coworkers) were the real santas#said as a joke mostly bc theyre the ones Actually delivering the packages#but i took it to heart. told people at school that my dad was the Real santa.#no one believed me lol which i found quite frustrating.#but yeah i have never once in my entire life believed in Santa#and im content with that. it seems like such a stupid thing i will be honest.#'what about the magic of christmas' what about the poor kids who dont get gifts & feel abandoned by this all-powerful man?#in fact why do we Want kids to not think it's their parents giving gifts? they cant thank the right people if we trick them.#it's a convoluted setup that makes absolutely 0 sense to me#trust me christmas had more than enough 'magic' for me as a kid just bc of all the cool lights and all the free gifts#dont need some mythological man who can travel the globe in one night and is a professional in B&E#makes no sense for Real.#there was a time with my ex step siblings where me n my sister were told not to spoil the fun for them#so i had to pretend like santa existed as they opened presents marked from him#and even back then i was just thinking 'this is So Dumb'#this is an anti santa zone i guess. me and myself hate the popularized version of this strange strange belief system.
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