#i want you here so badly 😭😭😭

[1004tyun-archive]

my sweet mommy 🥺 i hope you’re sleeping well and charging yourself back up <3 i wanted to talk about our video call again 🥹🩷

you looked so beautiful (as you always do~) and felt so cozy i kept thinking about how i should’ve been there with you so we could be cozy together 🥺🥺🩷 petting your hair and having you pet my hair was the softest i’ve ever felt 🥺🥹🩷🩷 i’ve told more of my friends about you and it feels so liberating, i finally get to talk about my girlfriend more 🥹🥹🩷 aaaaah i love you so much 🥹🩷 i keep bringing you up fhsjfndn like “omg i told crystal this and she reacted like this and omg and she said this and that” dhsbfbdbf 🥹🩷🩷

hehehehe i feel so happy to be with you my girlfriend is the sweetest ever >\\\\< 🩷🩷 i can’t wait to see what you have to say about it in your recap 🥺🩷

today is raining so hard during the day and i don’t know if it will in the night ;; i wish it did in the night instead of during the day so that i could feel cozy and imagine we are cuddling together 🥺🩷🩷 i didn’t get to make anything for myself because of lack of time but i’m having a burger ;3; i don’t know why it reminds me of your favorite bakery and all the sandwiches 🤭🩷 i’m so curious i need to taste one and i’d love to have it with you!! <3

i’m so happy this moodboard came to my mind immediately as you sent me the princessy taehyun pictures 🥹🥹 i hope you like it!! 🥺🥺🩷

mommy should always rest well, so i hope you’re sleeping peacefully 😚🩷 i love you so much mwah mwah <3

my sweet baby 🥺🥺🩵 i slept so well i feel like my battery has been sufficiently charged 😚🩵 i like to think it was thanks to the cherry crystal moony sent along with thinking about your headpats 🥺🥺 <33

it’s so funny bc our reactions during our video call reminded me of our first ever call 🥺 i felt so nervous about you seeing me during our video call bc i hadn’t washed my face or done anything with my hair but at the end of it that really didn’t matter bc all i could focus on was you 🥺🥺 you were so beautiful (like always~) your pretty brown eyes have been stuck on my mind it keeps making me think of breakin my heart by mint condition (bc i never have a proper thought i just think in song lyrics djshsh)

🥺 i wanted to be there with you so badly i wanted to hug you from behind djshhs i can’t stop thinking about you telling me you imagined huffing me from behind and kissing my cheek like >///< 🩵🩵 it’s making me blush as i type this out~ i want to be in your arms so badly

baby that makes me so so happy 😭😭😭 i told another one of my friends about us and they’re so happy for me and for us 🥺🥺🩵 i love talking about you so much 🥺 everything makes me think of you i see you in the world around me 🥺🥺🩵 i really do have the sweetest loveliest girlfriend ever~

hehe i hope you liked the recap 🤭🤭🤭🩵

also rainy nights >>> rainy days i’m so glad we agree on that 😌😌 i wanna cuddle you while we listen to the rain 🥺 i hope your burger was good!! idk what i’m gonna do for food today other than pancake time later >< omfg yes we should get *that* chicken salad sandwich from my fave bakery and split it we’d probably still have enough food for the week just from that sandwich alone 😭😭😭

oooh such a pretty moodboard (almost as pretty as my baby 🥺🥺🩵🩵)

my baby should stay healthy and safe, always 🥺🥺🥺🩵 i love you so so much my love~

[mxtxfanatic]

Fandom Gripe #23: I know that fandom is in some deep denial about its treatment of female characters that are canonically involved with fan favorite m/m ships, but do y’all realize that when you disappear female characters from the narrative wholesale to push the idea that your canonically straight fav was “secretly gay all along!” you’re making several bad implications? That 1) bi men don’t exist, 2) bi men do exist, but those who have genuinely loved a woman before cannot genuinely love a man after that (therefore bi men don’t exist in practice), 3) women cannot inspire genuine love and devotion in men, therefore any relationship with a woman is “lesser” than the one they later have a man (see previous parenthesis), or 4) to acknowledge the existence of a lovable woman who isn’t a terrible person, where if a relationship previously existed, it did not end because of “incompatibility,” is enough to destabilize the present relationship between two queer men?

Because why is the tgcf fandom allergic to acknowledging that He Xuan had a whole ass fiancée that he loved? Why does no one ever seem to remember that the kidnappings and murders of He Xuan’s sister and fiancée were the final straws that sent him on his rampage, and he still keeps a shrine to them in the present-day of the story? Why is her entire existence and significance to He Xuan as a man, character, and to his character arc disappeared in favor of pushing Shi Qingxuan—the brother of the man responsible for his fiancée’s death—into that same role, as if to say that her impact on He Xuan is significant... just not when it's from her? Why does He Xuan’s life in fandom essentially begin not just after her death but because of it?

[sleepinginmygrave]

can someone explain to me why does my mum don't want me to be in my room and is forcing me to do my work downstairs 😃

[hopeswriting]

i miss when i was writing khr meta on the regular and being unwell about it on here with you guys. i think i like having the time and energy to be chronically online actually

[suddencolds]

.~

[fatuismooches]

Helloo Smooches

Would you like another episode of me being possessed by angst ghosts? I was just thinking about Arlie with lover from Fontaine.. I'll try to avoid 4.2 spoilers as much as possible, so:

Reader helps those, who are caught up in primordial sea catastrophe. Arlie will try to persuade you into staying out of this, since the water is dangerous for you, but you just.. Can't leave these people, even if it's a little help because it's your mutual home

But.. just a single mistake and you're gone. Disappeared without a trace in seawater. No matter how much fatui agents and children from Heart of Hearth try to search for you - you're gone gone gone.

You were the only person Arlecchino let in her life on personal level. The one she could drop her mask before and be not Arlecchino, not The Knave, but just.. herself (if only we knew her real name..)

And now.. she can't even do a proper funeral for you, because your body is dissolved. Her mind is plagued by infinite "what if". What if she didn't let you go? What if she was there? What if she came to you just a mere minutes earlier to catch you? What if it wasn't you, who died..?

"Father", who told Freminet that tears are a sign of weakness found herself all alone, hidden from everyone's gaze, with tears streaks on her face, which she doesn't even bother to wipe. Ah, if you were there.. you'd gently come to her, placing hands on her face, wiping the tears gently..

This is exactly why she teaches her children to value their life above all else.

-🥀

(just venting my frustration over the fact Fontaine just has so many beautiful women😭. It's not fair to my wallet)

🥀 ANON... 🥀 ANON... IM SENDING YOU AWAY!! STOP THIS MADNESS!! But yes... i have to admit i do love and enjoy your angst.

In all honesty, Arlecchino did not want you to come to Fontaine with her. She wanted you to stay in Snezhnaya, where you'd be safe. Which, wasn't particularly unusual - although you came with her on a lot of missions, sometimes she wanted you to stay home. Whether to rest, or take on other duties, or if this mission was going to be especially bloody... but this time, uncharacteristically, it's out of gnawing fear. She knows she shouldn't be nervous, she knows you're strong, you're careful, you're her other hand after all, but... the threat of death is far more looming in Fontaine, especially as a Fontainian. But no, you're stubborn, you always have been. Always wanting to help, always wanting to look out for others. That's probably why you got so attached to the three siblings as well. So, Arlecchino can't fight you anymore, the only thing she can do is keep a watchful eye on you.

Only that her eyes are not watchful enough. If only Arlecchino knew that morning would be the last she saw you, the last that she kissed you and held you. If only she knew. If only she was able to protect you, or if she instructed you to go elsewhere, the water wouldn't have gotten you. She's the Fourth Harbinger, with incomparable strength, yet she couldn't save one person? If she tried harder, she could have. Could have forced you to stay, could have done something. It is even worse this way, your body isn't here for a proper funeral, neither she nor her children being able to find closure and say goodbye to you one last time.

Lyney and Lynette are trying to calm their shaking bodies, while Freminet is already on the verge of tears despite knowing how much Father dislikes crying children, but he can't help it. And Arlecchino could not blame him for once, because in the privacy of her office, she does the same thing. She longs for you to walk through that door, come behind her, and hold her, softly wiping the silent tears away, murmuring how it was okay for her to be vulnerable, and how it was all going to be okay since you two had each other.

Not anymore...

Children who enter the House of the Hearth after that are always greeted by a large painting of an unfamiliar person in the halls, questioning who it could possibly be. The only response they get is a head pat, a sad smile, and "someone who was very important to Lord Arlecchino."

[cconfusedkat]

Grrrggrrghhrrgrrr guys i think this game has ruined my life /SO VERY POSITIVE

I NEVER REALIZED HOW MANY MORE REFS I DO NEED TO MAKE FOR THESE MFS-- i had to redownload a bunch of their transparent pngs for ibispaint in the reference window and the references KEEP ON COMING ,,,,, LIEK I HAVE ANOTHER 7 TO DO POSSIBILITY I THINK ,,,, AND THE FIVE OF THEM ARE BISHOP OCS I LOVE AN INSANE AMOUNT OF Wait no mayve its 9. Regardless theyre literally the color of the rainbow which is why im resharing these ITS THE PRIDE PARADE UP IN HERE

[autistic-katara]

there r fics that make u insane (so amazingly good it’s removed ur sanity) and then there’s fics that make u insane (you need to fistfight the author for how they did a specific thing that caused u to rant for hours)

[skitskatdacat63]

Hiii CATIE!!!!! HIII

Im pretty pretty sure people have already asked BUT HOW WAS ATTENDING THE US GP LIVE!!!! WAS???? TELL ME!! DO YOU HAVE PICS??? I know I know im late.

I ALSO HOPE YOU GOT HOME SAFE AND SOUND AND THAT YOU ARE RESTING NOW+!!!(I saw the chaos you went through im deeply sorry for you :( )

ANYWAYS HOW WAS THE RACE? HOW WAS EXPERIENCING STROLLONSO LIVE?????? AND omg did you get pics of drivers??? :00

You must must share pleaseeeeee.wax.poet

OH MY GOD ELLE SORRY THIS IS SO LATE!!! IT WAS VERY COOL!!!!! VERY SURREAL!!!!!! I've taken a week to answer this but uhhhh yes I am in fact home now 🥰 I got home at like 1 am which was cool....

First of all I have to mention this! I was fighting for my life walking thru the Austin airport(from sleep deprivation), and I had my Fernando hat on my backpack, right? Some girl comes up to me and asks if I'm going to the GP, I say yes. SHE GAVE ME A FRIENDSHIP BRACELET, I COULD'VE SOBBED 🥹 It says on it "wtf is a km", I'm still so happy

COTA was the first race I ever watched, so to be actually at that track and watch a race live there was extremely surreal! Very hot though my god 😵‍💫 I think last year it was pretty hot, right? And my brother kept sending me the temp and it was pretty okay, and then of fucking course the temp leaps up to 89-97°(31-36° Celsius btw) right in time for the gp....so that was nice(I say as I burn in the sun like a vampire. But don't worry I didn't even really tan at all 😭 I always wore a hat and a lot of sunscreen. And meanwhile my brother was literally a lobster)

(This is a long post):

So unfortunately I missed the drivers parade because my brother and I were dying on Saturday night and his friends wanted to go first thing in the morning, and we're like "we will go later actually 😊" and missed it entirely 😭😭😭 but his friends took pics of Mclaren and Aston for me!!!!! But unfortunately I havent gotten them still, so I'll have to reblog this later with those! I took a lot of pictures of the cars I took from behind the fence, which I think I've posted some of? Lmk if anyone wants those!! They're very random, I just thought it was very surreal to see the cars flying past, so I took a million.

The coolest part was definitely running on track after the race was over!!! Soooooo surreal, and so I'm only gonna post pics rn from Sunday(bcs pic limit on phone) and also I think everything else kinda pales in comparison(but of course lmk if there's anything you're interested in seeing 🤭)

Okay and did I see any drivers...? ONLY ONE BUT AAAAHHHH I DID SEE LANDO!!! Not even one of my favs but it was soooooo surreal to see him, even from afar. As you can see above, everyone standing on the fences was blocking the view 🙄, but during the podium, I was focusing my camera btwn their legs and got literally one second of Lando 😭 I think its a pretty aesthetic clip, so I gifed it!!

It was so funny, I went to the gp with my brother and friends, so all these older guys yeah. And I was showing this off to them on the ride home, and his one friend was praising me so much for it 😭😭 like: "oh my god!!!! You could put this in an edit !!! This is so sick!!!!"

Oh one other thing!!! I think I've mentioned it before but my god, my favorite f1 podiums are always the ones with confetti, right?? AND THERE WAS CONFETTI AT THIS RACE!!!

LOOK AT HOW PRETTYYYYY!!!! And so anyways, I picked up so much confetti off the ground and now it lives forever in my phone case 🥰🥰🥰 I have no other room for pics on this post(for now) but oh my godddddddddd most of the confetti were just rectangles BUT THERE WAS ALSO ONES SHAPED LIKE TEXAS!!! SO COOL!!!!! And I also picked up a bunch of tire marbles off the ground!!! And a piece of plastic that probably came off some car. It was so funny when all of us were just scrounging off the ground. My bro's one friend somehow found a piece of carbon fiber, and we're all like "how can I kill him in his sleep and steal this from him..." But no the highlight actually of that process was watching my brother sprint to the podium, but stopping and grabbing a bunch of gravel first to shove in his pocket 😭😭😭

The other two days were fun as well, but also a lot of just dying in the heat and drinking a fuckton of red bull, so there's not too much specifically to say! I really liked hearing the cars. I think if you wanna know what's actually going on in a race, watching from home is better, but hearing the cars go by and seeing them is just so fucking sick. It was so funny to see grown men be like "I think I'm going to cry hearing these cars." I was really flexing on them with "uhhh yeah I've already been to a gp already 🙄🙄"

Anyways I ended the day by breaking bank by buying my dad and myself Fernando shirts because he is of course Fernando's biggest fan 🥰🥰 and I bought the most delicious overpriced lemonade, which I only drank half of bcs my brother proceeded to accidentally elbow it out of my hand....

OH WAIT ONE MORE DETAIL LOL. On Friday, my brother and his friend were waiting in line for smth and I was talking to them outside of the barrier. I look down, hmm theres a red cap abandoned on the ground, I pick it up, it is in fact a Ferrari hat. And that is how my brother acquired a $40+ dollar hat for free. Lucky bastard....I was the who found it!

[menlove]

whenever I finally watch saltburn it's over for me I fear

[eeblouissant]

do you ever find a song that reminds you so violently of a favourite character that you kind of just like. freeze there once the realization hits

so anyway I found a new Dorothy song and I’ve paused everything I was doing to talk about it because. oh my god. come cry with me.

Flowers by Marina, here’re the lyrics:

obviously I’ve related this back to her marriage with/& divorce from stan, but I feel like this song really encapsulates how easy it is/has been for Dorothy to fall right back into his arms at the slightest show of affection, regardless of how far along she is in her own healing journey, and how awful she knows he is. “And it’s most tempting to give in when you hear the firin shots, when you’re steps from winning back all the happiness you lost.”

She’s very weak to emotional temptation, it’s one of her biggest character flaws. It doesn’t take much to convince her to do something she has already been yearning for even slightly. (I could connect this back to her recovering gambling addiction on so many different levels but thats another post entirely, and kind of self explanatory) ie: the episode stan takes a wife, where he shows affection for Sophia in crisis, keeps dorothy company, and now - regardless of the fact that she’s about to ruin a planned wedding and that, stan is stan - dorothy is determined to take stan back and completely convinced that he wants her back, too. We see dorothy in a similar situation with stan in season one also, to a little bit of a lesser extent. There are so many big and small examples of this that it would be impossible to name them all individually, but I think the examples involving stanley are most relevant here. oh god, not to mention the time they almost actually get married again … spare me. Eventually, everytime, when he proves once again to be the asshole that cheated & left her, she comes to her senses. But oh my god sometimes it just takes so much for her to see that someone is bad for her. “–but I would rather not, betray myself, just to keep your love at any cost”

Sophia comments on this flaw once or twice in canon too (OUCH, BTW.) and it just … dorothy is always so defensive. girl your mother is correct I fear!!!

“If you’d just bought me flowers, maybe I would have stayed”… the slightest show of affection would have kept her there with him for even longer, I’m so sure of it – thank god he stayed gone for as long as he did. Should have been forever!!!!!!! she had been slipping away from him since day one.

Do I even need to start talking about “and now my future gleams with colours bold and bright, in a home that’s filled with love and hope and a life that just feels right.” PLEASE. PLEASE… I’m so fragile …… please … I feel like this one speaks for itself. And right after a line that so perfectly describes her home life while married to stan? I’m not well oh my god this is sick

[lanternlightss]

if we ever get nameless bard’s model, i really, really hope at one point we get him framed in the lighting like this (a call back to him surrounded by light in the boy and whirlwind? put upon a pedestal? or the bard, a guiding light from past...)

[pretentiouswreckingball]

[skittlespizza]

AUGHHH

[cinderdust-snz]

you know you're too far gone when you find yourself waking up from a full-on animated h/azbin h/otel snz song dream.

i haven't watched h/azbin h/otel.

[cheekblush]

not having any friends is truly heartbreaking