#i want validation so bad but then feel so guilty when i get it-

[pepprs]

mission failed we’ll get em next time 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[thebigqueer]

Your breakup really really reminds me of my first (and only) wlw relationship/breakup everything you're saying hits home a lot. You will get through it but tbh it's so hard to heal and it still grinds my gears when I think about her and how we broke up. Idk if that helps but I understand what you're going though

YEAH MAN ITS TOUGH OUT HERE FR!!! its not my first queer relationship but like something about this is genuilnely the most world-shattering romantic experience ive had cuz we went into this soooo head over heels for each other like we were literally moving SO fast. and at the time i was like is it ok for us to even be moving this fast (probs tmi but we were literally making out shirtless by like 2nd time we even made out) (probs not a big deal to most people but i experienced a LOT of new things with her that id never experienced befoer & the fact that i was so WILLING to do it so fast was what surprised me the most) but then i was like okk whateverrr i really like how fast we're moving. and i was like 'damn if were moving this fast & if im feeling so good it has to end soon right like theres no way life is going to let me just be happy w this' and then i was like 'no elts not think about it' and then what do you know 5 months later she brekas up w me. and neither of us did anything wrong but it was so random??? like i dont understand how one moment shes telling me how excited she is to spend the entire semester with me and then literally 36 hours later tell me shes not feeling an emotional connection but wont even give us the chance to work it out. i know she also broke it off for personal reasons but its like... this was something we could have TRIED to work out you know!!! maybe it wouldnt have worked in the end but literally nothing felt off to me at all & if id known she was feeling this way i wouldve done my best to make things better. the entire breakup was so sudden and honestly im really not mad at her because i know how nerve-wracking it is to be in your first relationship. i think its just that im really dispapointed she gave up on us so easily you know??? didnt even give us a chance to figure it out

[rakuraikou]

i feel like i really have to focus on my game if i want to have something to show for myself (especially because i’ve been talking abt it for Years), but i get so frustrated… and i try to alleviate that by drawing/doodling, or playing with other characters and stories (my ot/bravely guys, or twps/osea) but i just feel really guilty over it. ugh

[graceful-not]

Collection of people in the notes who Get It

i firmly believe that kristoph was a better boss to apollo than phoenix. every time phoenix doesnt tell him something or messes with him or doesnt give him his paycheck he has to stop himself from mumbling under his breath like 'mr gavin didnt do this shit mr gavin took me for lunch at the sushi place by the office and didnt even make me pay'. apollo genuinely considering trying to get a retrial to get kristoph out of jail in turnabout corner making a pros and cons list in his head while delivering that 'white powder' like this shit is not worth it

[fujosh1dreamer]

Alright Apology Tour... I don't even know where to start for this episode.

So I'll start with this statement:

I want them to make it work.

Surprise, surprise but I think that when stolas and blitz aren't forcing it, they are actually cute together.

This is my favorite scene from the episode because stolas just falls into blitz's arms and blitz just holds him.

He cares, it's obvious that blitz cares but I think he's still unaware of how much. I also think that stolas know that blitz cares.

In the conversation at the beginning of the episode there are two scenes that kinda prove this.

In the first scene blitz is talking about how relationships are boring and not worth it, and stolas leans on the table and basically asks him if he thinks that then what are they doing now.

Which is a valid question, because blitz is clearly fighting for them right now. He's doing a terrible job and saying all the wrong things but he is there. Stolas understandably gets annoyed and walks off when blitz side steps the question.

The next scene where we see that stolas is aware at least a little of how blitz feels is when he's fake apologizing. He pretty much says 'oh I'm supposed to apologize for thinking so badly of myself I push people who actually care about me away? And stolas just says yes.

There are moments of clarity that tell me blitz is completely aware of his faults but other moments that make me think differently. When stolas says he sounds like striker he denied it. Only to continue to mock stoas for being a prince and completely disrespecting him.

I feel like if blitz had approached the conversation in the garden like he had the one at the party things would have gone better.

Speaking of the party. The stolas song was amazing, and it was basically about how stolas still has feeling for blitz but he just doesn't think blitz cares. Which is a fair feeling since blitz left the garden basically telling stolas he'd apologize to everyone but him. Which was a petty thing to say.

Stolas hating the party despite the song is also really funny, up until the end of the episode that is. Stolas complained to himself the entire time how ridiculous and petty it is to host a party like this every year, he even continues that thought process while drunk.

Also while drunk stolas explained to blitz how he's looking for a romantic love. He wants to be loved and wanted by someone special a conversation that of course makes blitz feel bad but stolas can't see that.

This is the moment that cemented my belief of wanting them together. They're both so casual in this scene stolas because he's drunk and blitz because he's feeling vulnerable and guilty.

They still have a natural chemistry and quick witty dialog that flows naturally. They fit well together even when fighting, but only when they're not forcing the relationship. Only when stolas doesn't have blitz on a pedestal, and when blitz isn't blaming stolas for all of his problems. As equals they work.

I wanna see them make up.

[traumasurvivors]

It's okay if certain popular positive phrases don't sit right with you.

Maybe you see "Holding onto hate is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die" and the message makes you feel guilty, or wrong for feeling hate or anger towards the person who hurt you.

Maybe you see "People treat you the way you allow yourself to be treated" and it makes you feel guilty for the trauma you endured. Maybe it makes you feel like you didn't do enough and don't deserve to be upset. Maybe it makes you feel bad because you're in a situation where it isn't safe or feasible to get away or set boundaries with the people in your life who do treat you poorly.

Maybe you see "No one can love you until you love yourself first" and you feel terrible. Like no one can ever love you because loving yourself is such an impossible goal at the moment.

It's really okay if certain phrases you see spreading don't sit right with you. They help some people, and that's really valid, but you aren't wrong or a failure if they don't help you. We all have different needs, and no post is ever going to help or be right for everyone.

You are still valid. It's okay to need to hear different things. So, I'll say this to those of you that want or need to hear it.

It's okay to hate the people who hurt you. It's okay to be angry at them. While there are healthier ways to handle your feelings than others, no feeling is inherently bad. And it is okay and valid to feel these things. In a lot of cases, feeling these things is a step in healing because you've realized that they're who you should be mad at instead of yourself. And I think that's great. I think there comes a point when your anger is hurting you, but the emotion itself is okay to feel and can be used in productive ways.

I also want to say that no matter what, it isn't okay for people to treat you poorly. You never deserve it. And it's okay to have complicated feelings. It's okay to feel like you have nothing but bad choices. Sometimes the choice with less consequences is dealing with bad treatment until we can safely or realistically get away from that person. Sometimes you just aren't ready. And I get it, and while I hope you can get away or set boundaries eventually, you don't deserve the treatment just because you aren't in a place to do that now.

And people can absolutely love you if you don't love yourself. I am not at a point in my healing where I love myself. Truthfully, I don't know if I ever will be. I reached for self-neutrality instead of self-love, and it helps. And I know that I am beyond loved by certain people in my life.

It's okay to have different goals, needs, and ways we cope.

[babyleostuff]

up. and down

𝜗𝜚 angst, established relationship 𝜗𝜚 idol!seungcheol x fem!reader 𝜗𝜚 wc: 818 warnings: mentions of mental health issues, depression, oldest daughter syndrome

natalia's note: this is something very self indulgent, and as much as i'm kind of afraid to post it (partially because it's shitty as hell, and not proofread) writing it was a bit healing. whoever is struggling out there as well - i just want you to know that you're a fucking badass

everyone has their better and worse days. life is just a constant sinusoid of going up and down, up and down. 

up. and down. 

this was definitely one of your downs. but it was also one of those where you couldn’t explain why you were feeling so down. so numb. so washed out of everything. nothing bad really happened that day - you didn’t oversleep, no one spilled coffee on you, everyone you encountered was nice and polite. maybe the weather was a bit gloomy, but you knew it had nothing to do with the way you were feeling. 

yet, as you were walking up the stairs to your apartment, all you could focus on was the emptiness in your chest, the heart that was beating way too fast for it to be normal, the tears threatening to spill, and your shaky hands that were clutching the door keys for dear life.  

and you felt so guilty for that. you didn’t know why, but you did. 

you tried telling yourself that you weren’t weak, that it was valid for you to have a worse day, and not feel guilty about it - but you just couldn’t. nothing happened for god’s sake, you didn’t have a single reason for the tears that were pooling in your eyes, so how could you call yourself anything but weak?   

“hey, honey. you’re home early,” you looked up to see your boyfriend standing in the hallway, with a big smile on his face. the exact one that could usually turn the shittiest days into the best ones. but not today. 

it made you feel even worse. seungcheol was one of the best things that could ever happen in your life. he was caring, loving, he’d move the mountains for you if he had to. he was the most hardworking man you’d ever met, and he never complained, no matter how hard it got. 

you didn’t want him to see you like this. ever. you didn’t want to show the light of your life your ugly side, the one that could rot in bed for days because it had no energy to get up and take a shower. the one that cried for hours for no reason. the one that sometimes felt like giving up was the only solution. 

you cleared your throat, trying to push everything away for the sake of your boyfriend. “hey, baby. what are you doing here, shouldn’t you be at work?” 

“yeah, but,” he narrowed his eyes, and took in your form, “they let us go early today,” he said after a quick pause. of course in that split of a second he sensed that something wasn’t right. as if you could ever hide anything from him. “what’s wrong?” 

“nothing,” you wanted to scream. nothing happened, except that your lungs didn’t let you breathe, and your heart was too heavy to beat properly. 

“i don’t know,” you finally admitted, and shrugged your shoulders. that’s when the first tear fell. “i don’t know what’s wrong, cheol,” your voice broke. 

seungcheol didn’t say anything else, he just walked up to you, and put his arms around you, caging you in an embrace that you knew so well. everything was so familiar - his gentle yet firm touch, the smell of his cologne, his slightly chapped lips resting against your temple - and still you felt like an intruder. like you didn’t deserve it. 

“you know i love you, right?” though his voice was quiet, you could hear it was slightly shaky. “your friends love you,” he said, and slid one of his hands from your back up to your head, cupping it. “and kkuma loves you. very much.” 

you choked on a sob, and hid your face further up seungcheol’s neck.

“i know you don’t see yourself like that,” you could feel something wet sliding down your neck, and for some reason you knew that the tears weren’t only your own, “but you’re so strong. you really are.” 

by now you were gripping onto cheol’s shirt like it was the last thing that could keep you afloat. you didn’t care about the tears anymore. you didn’t care about the broken cries. you just wanted to stay like this forever. 

“why am i like this? why can’t my mind just leave me alone?” you cried, your shoulders shaking. 

“i don’t know, baby. i don’t know.” 

and so you stood in the hallway of your apartment, with a very confused white fluff ball at your feet, till you had no more tears left to cry.

life is just a constant sinusoid of going up and down, up and down. 

up. and down. 

even though your down may seem like a dark path with no way out, like a never ending circle of tears and pain, you have to keep fighting, because you have people worth fighting for. 

and most importantly - you have to keep fighting for yourself.

[capricores]

if you have strong mutable (gemini, sagittarius, pisces, virgo) placements then you NEED to write things down if you don't already. all those thoughts that constantly swirl in your head: the frequent tasks, goals, feelings, aspirations, opinions, etc - WRITE THEM DOWN. this is not only therapeutic & stress-relieving for you but almost necessary, or you're going to burn out and overload your own mind constantly.

when you bottle, or when you let plans, goals, dreams, to-do lists, projects, etc live solely in your head - you'll notice you can't sleep as well, it's harder to rest, your memory gets more foggy than usual, you feel burnt out and unable to connect, etc. specifically:

write down your feelings. this will be your ultimate (free) therapy. start to journal, write a diary. make a private twitter/tumblr where you spill your feelings, frustrations, thoughts. you will feel an immense sense of relief by writing or typing your feelings out - even if no one is reading it but you. mutable moons especially. our feelings tend to change rapidly, but it doesn't make them less valid. don't bottle out of the fear your feelings will change/you'll just "get over it"!! write it down and let it out!!

write! to-do! lists!!!!! these don't have to be for important things. you want to learn digital art? you want to study coding? you want to learn french? you want to re-decorate? you probably have a billion things you want to do, and then you get overwhelmed by the options, and do nothing. write down all the things you want to do. make a to-do list for these things. get them out of your head and somewhere permanent/physical. looking at the options in front of you will feel much easier.

make excel project trackers (you can even make these for to-do list items/goals/etc)! mutable placements have a tendency to start a lot of projects or tasks, and never finish any of them. make a simple tracker for all the projects you start. you won't forget what you're working on, and you'll be less overwhelmed trying to remember what you have going on (example of the one i always use pictured below)

talking out your thoughts and feelings is also very cathartic. make fake (or real, i support u!) youtube vlogs where you spill your feelings and talk about your plans, your day, what you have to do, etc. talk to someone you love and trust, vent to them about how things are; or about what you're getting up to. i find writing has an edge, because you can go back to it for reference (mutables tend to forget things easily) - but as long as you're getting the swirl of your mind somewhere outside of your head, you'll feel so, so much less stressed.

mutable dominants tend to constantly live in go-mode, we're restless and always doing something. we feel uncomfortable and sometimes guilty about staying still. our minds don't ever shut off. it's very important for mutable placements to learn how to rest, be present in the moment, and learn grounding. this can be done in many ways, but i've found personally that writing works best for me. other helpful practices can be: talk therapy, acceptance theory, yoga, meditation, hiking, camping, etc.

i also want to remind mutable signs: we change a lot. we have a lot of ideas. there's so much we want to do. we often feel like we have no path, no big goal; we can struggle with purpose as we don't often aspire for permanent things or "one big goal". this is NOT bad. there is nothing wrong with changing your feelings, your mind, your goals, your life path. you CAN do all the things you want to do! you have your entire life ahead of you! yes, you can learn all those languages. yes, you can have three different careers in your life. yes yes yes! don't listen to negativity from others. don't beat yourself up for not having one big goal like some people around you might. cherish and embrace all the things you want to achieve and complete (both big and small). learn to follow-through with and finish the things that matter to you (writing things down will really help with this, make action plans/steps - break everything down into smaller pieces). take the time to slow down and enjoy the moments as they come. you got this!

[bluespiritshonour]

Water Siblings and Fire Siblings as Foils

Katara and Sokka are peak sibling rep: they bicker, they hurt each other, they take turns being the voice of reason while the other goes batshit crazy—and they'd die for each other.

And very clearly Sokka's daddy's boy and Katara's momma's girl: and for most parts, they seem to be content with that dynamic.

Look, parents have favourites, let's establish that first: don't come at me for it.

But in a healthy environment, where all of the kids’ emotional needs are met irrespective of which kid gets along with which parent, they're less likely to tear themselves apart yearning for parental affection.

Sokka and Katara's family was a normal one, a healthy one—as healthy as one can be in a war ravaged world—and Sokka and Katara are normal siblings. Even after their mother died Katara doesn't seem to care much that Sokka gets more time with their father. And everytime she brings up their mother Sokka gets this weird look on his face, which, I think is later explained by the fact that he feels guilty that he doesn't even remember what their mother looked like. And it's not because Katara seems to know more about their mother despite being younger.

Neither of them grudge the other for having been close to one of the parents—let's call it ‘being close to’ instead of ‘dad/mum loved you/me more’ because that's what would come up with Azula and Zuko.

One can say that Azula's daddy's girl and Zuko's momma's boy... Except it isn't like that.

Azula wasn't loved by her father; neither was she close to him. If anything she had the illusion that she's close to him. But children can sense when they aren't loved, which can explain why she took her mother being close to Zuko so hard. Because she didn't get that from her father and isn't she supposed to be daddy's girl? But dad's good to her; mum... isn't. Dad lets her do what she wants... As long as she obeys him or she'd end up like Zuko.

For Ozai, both his children are pawns. He uses Azula to abuse Zuko, which in turn is to get at Ursa. And honestly, Ursa was a bad mum and an abuse victim and not the villain are takes that can co-exist.

A lot of mums in primarily patriarchal cultures end up abusing their own kids while trying to protect them in an environment where they themselves hold little power.

Ursa and Hakoda can be compared in this.

Katara haters can look away: she isn't whiny. And even if she is, well, she takes responsibility when no one else does so I guess she deserves to complain if that's what it takes. Katara is extremely mature. When she was mad at Hakoda, she still had the critical thinking skills to point out that yes, she understands why he left. He had to! She doesn't blame him for that, it wasn't his fault that there was war going on—but it still hurt!

And what does Hakoda do? He hugs her and apologises. He doesn't defend himself, because he doesn't need to. She understands! She said she does and he doesn't insult her by making excuses. He acknowledges and validates her pain.

Unlike Katara, who grew up in a healthy family with parents and grandparents and a whole community—Azula was isolated and under the influence of Ozai. And she was so young! If you remember being that young, you'd remember thinking that parents are always right. You don't realise that parents make mistakes too—and while her emotional needs weren't being met by Ozai, she turned to Ursa—but Ursa was at her wits end trying to undo the damage of Ozai's abuse on Zuko.

If she had given attention to Azula, Zuko, who thought that Azula was perfect and already had father's approval would have gone off rails—and since she didn't... Azula went off the rails.

Which was exactly how Ozai would want it. I don't like the comics much but it made sense that Ozai would hold both the children as bargaining chips against Ursa. Ursa made her choice, or rather, the illusion of her choice and Azula had to pay for it: the real reason Zuko could turn over a new page while Azula couldn't was because from the very beginning, Zuko had his mum and uncle.

Azula had no one!

Like Hakoda had to go to war and leave his children behind, Ursa had to choose between Azula or Zuko; Ozai orchestrated it as such.

But while there were people to pick up Hakoda's slack, there was no one to guide Azula. Sokka and Katara raised each other and they had Gran Gran.

Zuko and Azula were constantly pitted against each other by a war-mongering father.

I don't like this unrealistic expectations that fandom has of a family where both the siblings not only love each other equally, they also process emotions similarly (see: the Sokka vs Katara debate on how they both react to trauma) and parents who love all the kids equally.

Katara and Sokka are normal and realistic in the way that they are both different people: they process grief differently. Katara takes up responsibly and grows up too fast, it takes a toll on her and she's vocally expressive. She turns her grief into anger. Meanwhile Sokka internalises it in a survivor's guilt kind of way.

There's also gender involved in the way both pair of siblings interact. It's more subtle for the fire siblings than the water sibling. Plus, Suki makes Sokka drink his respect women juice, please y'all don't call Sokka sexist. That was character development for him which was addressed. I could make another post for gender and A:TLA.

And they both love each other dearly and they're okay with the fact that one is daddy's boy and the other is momma's girl. It's okay.

In contrast Zuko yearns for his father's affection and Azula yearns for her mother's. And while Zuko feels inadequate, for Azula it's “behave or you'll end up like your brother.”

She also learns to derive a sick sort of pleasure from watching Zuko suffer—which is entirely her father's doing. Because in rare moments when she doesn't have anything to gain by getting Zuko into trouble...she actually kind of looks out for him. It's extremely rare and sprinkled here and there to show us the Azula that could have been.

And I don't think Zuko really realised that Azula was abused too—not until he lets go of his father. Until the final Agni Kai. What I love about it is that despite portraying Azula as Zuko's tormentor for 3 seasons (and she was his tormentor) they did not frame the Agni Kai as some epic good vs evil shit.

Because from Zuko's point of view Azula was perfect. He's out here vying for his father's affection while she gets it freely. She's so lucky!—until he lets go of his father and realises what a monster he was... And he also realises that father never really loved Azula either...

They didn't say as much in words. But the final Agni Kai is proof enough. Zuko doesn't rejoice bringing Azula down (technically Katara did it). At this point, I guess, he realises that Azula's a kid too. Even younger than him—that their father couldn't care less about either of them.

Okay. I really do think that Zuko suddenly becoming invested in Azula's redemption would make sense after the Agni Kai. I also read this Twitter thread by Aaron Ehasz where he says he had plans for Azula's redemption and it was fantastic.

So yeah. Without being overt, the water siblings and fire siblings are contrasted by each other. Which is why I don't like the comics trying to do this brother-sister thing where they put Sokka and Katara and Zuko and Azula in back-to-back panels like... Even if I'm a huge supporter of Azula-deserves-redemption I didn't like those panels in the comics.

P.S. don't pit Sokka and Katara against each other. You aren't Ozai. They're different people who process trauma and loss differently and hence, react differently.

Adios.

[ghostofhyuck]

NCT Dream getting rejected by you.

Mark Lee

He's going to be so understanding about it! He understands that you're not looking for a commitment at the moment so he thinks that your reason is valid turning him down. Would probably give you a smile and will apologize for taking up some of your time just to meet up with him! You'll feel bad but you don't want to hurt Mark, so you end up apologizing to him too, but he's okay with it! You two assured that you two still can be friends. 

Huang Renjun

Renjun is also very understanding that you rejected him. You told him that you're not looking for a relationship at the moment that's why you rejected him. He'll probably nods and tells you that he's thankful that you straight-up rejected him instead of just leading him onto nothing. You promises Renjun that he's such a nice guy and everything but it's just a you problem. Renjun understands your situation but deep inside he's probably still devastated that he got rejected. 

Lee Jeno

ICB YOU'RE REJECTING JENO. JK. But imagine him smiling at you as he ask you to be his girlfriend and when you turned him down his smile never left! >:( He'll only nod as he listens to you explaining to him that you still have issues from your past relationships that's why you couldn't commit at the moment. His smile never left and he even comforted you during the process! You just rejected him and he's still there comforting you, you'll feel bad because of what you did but you know deep inside that you'll hurt him more if you said yes to him. 

Lee Donghyuck

I feel like Haechan's confident with himself, I mean why would you even reject Haechan? OKAY so you rejected him and you immediately apologized to him. It won't probably sink into him that he got rejected, "what did you say?" he asked, and even though the guilt is swallowing you, you have to repeat your no and your apology to him. "you're rejecting me?" he asks. You only nod and said sorry once again. "Oh. It's okay, I understand." no really, he wanted to ask you why you said no but he's afraid it'll just hurt him more. 

Na Jaemin

Oh I feel like Jaemin's an all-out suitor, he's very sweet and caring to you. But you just couldn't commit at the moment because your priority is your study, you don't want to burden yourself with a relationship that you have to exert effort to. That's why you rejected Jaemin, even explaining to him that you like him too but it's just you're focused on your studies. Jaemin understands it, he knows you! But it'll hurt him that he got rejected, he only nods and wishes you goodluck to your future. 

Zhong Chenle

Chenle would probably nod the moment you said no. His smile fading into a flat line on his lips. He nods then crosses his arms as he listens to your explanation. You told him that you're not looking for a relationship at the moment and you apologized to him for rejecting him. He'll understand why you did it! You offer him that you two can still be friends and he'll just accept it. It doesn't hurt him at all, probably disappointed but he'll brush it off because if he keeps on holding to his rejected feelings, he thinks it's not worth it. 

Park Jisung

BABY COME HERE WHY WOULD YOU REJECT HIM >:( Oh you hurt him! He'll be shocked when you said no and would try to be as understanding as possible but it hurts him when you said that you just see him as a friend because it took him courage to confess to you and to ask you to be his girlfriend only for him to be put into the friendzone. He'll give you a smile and will tell you that he's thankful that you're honest with him. You'll feel guilty but that's what you truly feel about Jisung. :(

[yuikomorii]

// I’m making this post, as a result of seeing way too much hate and misinfo regarding every character. Nobody stops anyone from voicing their opinion but the need to degrade a character, while providing BAD reasons or stating incorrect/out-of-context facts about them only for the sake of internet validation, is such a loser move.

We’re all in this fandom to have fun and even if you have something negative to say about a character you don’t like, keep it to yourself or in private with your friends.

Ayato:

“I don’t like Ayato, he’s overrated”, omg you’re just sooo different! Definitely not like other girls/guys!

Everyone is allowed to dislike whatever they want but if Ayato is your least/one of your least favorite DL characters, then your opinion ISN’T valid. This is a franchise full of abusive characters and he’s literally the most heroic love interest. Why would you hate the hero…?

“He’s dumb and annoying”, says the person who spends their time insulting FICTIONAL characters. 1) Japanese fans like dumb characters, since they come off as endearing; 2) Ayato outdid everyone throughout the routes.

He did more good than all of his brothers and saying that X, Y or Z deserves the main role more, is fake fan behavior because at this point you’re just setting up your favs.

Kanato:

No, you’re not cool for calling him ugly. It’s okay if you’re not into that type of characters but his design is not bad at all.

“He had no development”, he does in CL. It’s not major but it can still be visible.

The whole Teddy thing might be annoying to some of you, but his fans get why he acts that way. Let’s not forget that he is a victim of neglect.

Yes, he was sexually exploited too. Don’t forget this x2.

Laito:

“I hate Laito so much, he was so cruel in HDB 😢”; stop living in the past and move on already.

His development shouldn’t be overlooked only because your opinion about him was formed on something that came out more than 10 years ago.

He’s still the most fascinating DL character and I get that he might make some of you feel uncomfortable but don’t project your triggers on a character that’s merely made after a trope.

Shu:

No, it’s not Shu’s fault for the way Reiji acted. Envy is never a good reason to hurt someone.

“Shu roasts the heroine the most!”, I get that it’s rude but his insults are actually funny?? A bunch of people will like him for being brutally honest or a jerk because it’s literally a game for players with masochistic fantasies. They WANT to be roasted by good-looking men. That’s the point.

“Shu is lazy and stupid, he’s the only one who failed his school year”, genuine question: If you were an immortal creature that doesn’t need food or sleep to survive, would you still care about grades? Besides, he’s really smart.

“Shu doesn’t care about Yuma, he just feels guilty”, in LE he sacrificed himself for him and reincarnated merely because he wished to meet Yuma again and get on well with him in another life—

Reiji:

“He hurt Shu and Yuma”, well yeah but he was shown plenty of times regretting it and trying to fix things. Stop reminding this to Reiji stans because that conflict is already closed.

“He is so mean in other routes”, obviously?? If you don’t teach him how to love, he won’t suddenly act nice towards anyone.

Without him Yui would fail her tests and the Sakamaki household would be in chaos.

Subaru:

“W-What do you mean baby Tsundere is not soft innocent virgin boy? 🥺”; he has never been like that, that’s how YOU perceived him. Stop acting so shocked every time Subaru does something bad because he’s still a vampire after all??

Also, why are so many people reducing his character to Kou and/or Yui—? He’s much more than that and has his own interests, struggles, likes, dislikes, and so on.

“He’s irrelevant”; Diabolik Lovers has 13 love interests, they can’t make everyone extremely important to the general plot. Just enjoy a character as it is, it’s not that hard.

Ruki:

The cat jokes were funny when the Meow Meow Vampire art came out but MOVE ON. I hate that scene and Ruki was in the wrong but come on now, that’s not even the worst thing he has done and MB happened in 2013.

I understand not liking Ruki as a person, because he’s mostly not a good one, but this doesn’t mean he’s not a good character.

“Ruki deserved what happened to him in the past because he was cruel towards everyone”; while I agree that Karma hit him, I wouldn’t say any child really deserves to go through that. He was just a spoiled brat, who most likely wasn’t taught by his parents about modesty or kindness.

Kou:

“He was so cruel in MB 😣”, and HE HAD DEVELOPMENT! He’s not the same anymore, nobody is.

“He overreacts”, sometimes he’s not in the wrong and has all rights to be angry.

Kou isn’t afraid of going against Ruki, even if he’s the brother he admires the most, as long as he knows that what Ruki is doing isn’t good.

Yuma:

“He beat Yui up in the MB bad ending!😡😡”, it’s a bad ending for a reason, lol.

Pretty reminder that Yuma always tries to help others with Kou and Azusa, and was even willing to save the ghouls in LE.

“Yuma doesn’t care about Shu”, did we play the same game or…?

Azusa:

“Azusa is so horrible, he threw Teddy in the fire!”; and he only did it to save Yui, it was not intentional.

While not all his actions are good, keep in mind that he never means any harm and is overall such a sweet guy.

“He is too clingy”; I know that might not be everyone’s cup of tea but is it really worth hating a character just for wanting affection?

The Tsukinamis and Kino:

“They were too easy to defeat in DF!”; Dark Fate wasn’t entirely about them to begin with. Most routes focused on the boys’ internal struggles with their trauma and how to move past it.

“Kino is sometimes mean for the sake of being mean”; it’s almost as if he’s the ✨villain✨

It’s dumb questioning the morals of characters supposed to have an antagonistic role.

“Kino hurt Ayato in LE”; out of all characters who have wronged Ayato, at least Kino felt bad and wanted to apologize.

Yui:

“She’s dumb and ugly”; Japanese fans literally love her for being an idiot because it wouldn’t be fun to see the heroine being the best at everything or not making mistakes at all. Plus, her design is definitely not ugly.

Stop creating your own version of Yui in your head and ending up disappointed when she doesn’t act the way you expect her to. No, Yui is not OOC for liking being bitten, having a low learning ability or saying things she shouldn’t in the wrong moments. Nobody is perfect and everyone has their own kinks and flaws.

“She’s too innocent”; she’s not?? If you really want to see her thirsty, go play Ayato’s routes, especially the heaven scenarios.

“She’s weak”, she’s the opposite. Yui is one of the most mentally strong DL characters.

I can’t understand people who hate on heroines when they’re present in all routes and are the most positive characters.

[npdzane]

I think the fandom of Ninjago should talk about Zane's fear of losing his humanity and his fear of any negative emotion in general. And how they contradict each other.

(warning, yap sesh ahead) TLDR: can nindroids get therapy? If so we need 5 therapists for Zane immediately

It's already established that Zane has a fear of being seen as just a machine, nothing but a freezer with fake coded emotions. But I haven't seen anyone talk in depth how he seems to turn off his emotions whenever he's faced with grief or stress, and how he only learnt to not do that far into his life.

He probably picked up that habit from when Dr. Julien turned off his memory switch before "dying" back in season 1. And he realized that if he went so long not feeling bad about the "death" of his creator by simply not remembering it or not having the actual emotion of grief, he wouldn't feel bad either when anything similar happened if he just turned off his emotions like Dr. Julien did to him.

The fact this lasted as long as it did meant nobody picked up on it* and tried to tell him he was wrong. Which only validated that idea because if there was a problem with it, someone would've told him..right?

But how can you say you don't want to lose your sense of humanity as a robot while simultaneously doing something humans can't whenever you're faced with stress? I'd say he'd overthink it, and feel guilty about not being honest with himself. He knows hes being irrational, but hes still terrified of the thought of no one seeing him as a person.

But at the same time, he's never been taught how to face stress by himself. Only for other people. It's not like he just doesn't know that ignoring your feelings is a way to avoid the problem and a bad coping mechanism, he obviously knows that. He probably just doesn't know any other solutions because his situation is so niche.

Because how could anyone not want what he has? In his position, he probably feels as if everyone would kill to be a nindroid. Since nobody tells him otherwise. We even see clips where the others use Zane's robot body as a joke or in one case, use him as a fucking cleaning robot. Can you imagine how dehumanizing it must feel for someone to be forced against their will like a puppet into doing a weeks worth of chores?

Zane probably feels as if his fears are irrational. Like he shouldn't have them because being a nindroid seems to be the only thing that others care about when they see him. He's a logical person for sure, but everyone has irrational thoughts and unless you face the reason you have those thoughts they aren't going to go away and they'll cloud your judgement. Zane, for sure, is not doing that. Because we can see he just simply forces himself to stop having emotions when they happen instead of facing them, which only fixes it temporarily.

So hes afraid of being seen as just a freezer with fake emotions (i have more to say about the "fake emotions" part), and because he doesn't face his feelings about why hes afraid of that he lets himself believe that is how people see him. Which causes him to think that fear is stupid and that he shouldn't have it, which makes him turn off his emotions for a while, and the cycle continues.

He also might believe his emotions arent needed. Like maybe at some point he convinces himself that if everyone else only sees him as a calculator with ice powers, maybe that's what he actually is. So on top of everything, he feels like since hes only a computer, all his emotions are fake. Therefore unnecessary.

Not to mention he most likely feels as if he's weak for letting Vex manipulate him. And emotions = weak, weak = manipulated again, manipulated again = letting everyone down. But thats just a little thought i had to let out.

If i could write I'd probably make a fic about him being confronted by this fear, but until then it'll stay in my brain.

Poor boy. Just look at him. He doesn't deserve this bro AUUGIGUGJGJGGHHGHHHH IM AUTISTIC 🥹

Edit: *i rewatched crystalized today and realized the other ninja ARE aware of Zanes habit. They just dont gaf 😭WHICH MAKES IT WORSE!!!

[sanhwaism]

bf!ateez and that one specific habit they do that highlights their love language

pairing ⟡ bf .ᐟ ot8 x gn .ᐟ reader

genre ⟡ established relationship, romance, fluff

author's note ⟡ haaaaapy valentine's day 💌☁️ not long ago i have reached 100 followers eeek ^_^ so so grateful for every single one of you!! take this as my gift for both this milestone and valentine's day <3 (the specific habit of theirs will be written in italics just so it can be easier to spot hehe)

k. hongjoong — quality time

ah yes, the busy and very hardworking captain :,)

he's aware of the time spent in his studio; composing and producing music are in his nature after all!

so he feels very thankful that you are understanding and always there for him to cheer him up or reassure him that he doesn't have to feel guilty even when he's pulling all nighters there

yet he still feels bad deep down

at the same time he can't abandon his work

so every chance he gets — and i mean EVERY — when he's not that overworked he makes sure to learn about what you're into so he can spend time with you in a way which you'd enjoy the most

whether it's a new game you're into, or a tv show or a book or

the moment you mention it ONCE???? be sure he's taking a mental note and paying the closest attention to it

because he acknowledges that it will be useful for later

no matter what it is, he'll try his best to pick up on it so you can have a great time together

"oh is this the new video game you started playing? guess what i actually got into it as well so we can play it together now!! :D!"

"oh i know you told me about this book you're reading so i bought a copy as well and i started it whenever i took breaks at work!! let's talk about it!! :D!"

sobs

he's genuinely so thoughtful

so yes, knowing how much time he spends away from you makes him want to learn more about your interests so the moment he has you back in his embrace, he will make sure to repay you in the sweetest way possible!

p. seonghwa — words of affirmation

the type of boyfriend that always makes sure you know how great you're doing and how proud he is of you :(

he wouldn't go a day without praising you

if he is away from you because of work, expect a very early morning message from him in which he wishes you a good day ahead, that you will do great no matter what and he hopes you get to eat some yummy food in the meantime

and then later that day more encouraging words to keep you motivated and to also remind you that he loves you dearly

sobbing again

he wants you to tell him every detail about your day so he can praise every single effort you're making out there, no matter how small or insignificant you think it is

he'd tell you that just thinking of you gives him enough energy to go throughout the day

and he'll try his best to comfort you with his magical healing words if there is something you're going through

one thing about seonghwa is that he will validate your feelings no matter what. and that makes you feel so safe and appreciated and so so loved :(((

he's just comfort personified

he feels like hot chocolate served with marshmallows on top in front of the fireplace

if he's home and there are no miles that distance him from you, every single affectionate word that comes out of his mouth sounds even more soft hearted if that's possible

because not only does he know how to pick the best words and when to use them, but also the tone of his voice is just so soft and soothing

and now that no screen separates you both, his praises feel even more meaningful

he'd gently smile while caressing your cheek and whisper that he missed you so much and now that the day is over, everything that you have accomplished makes him so proud <3

j. yunho — physical touch

oh my god

PLEASE listen to me

when i say that i keep seeing those specific cutest clips of yunho that altered my brain chemistry

i mean it

they altered it so badly to the point where my opinion on his love language changed

everything clicks in your head the moment you realize that yunho has been doing this gesture to you after you two got more comfortable with each other

you walk baside him while holding his hand?

all of the sudden you feel his large, soft hand on the top of your head

he looks at you all smiley while you talk to him?

the next second his hand is moving towards the crown of your head, cutely ruffling your hair

you're eating and paying attention to the food before your very eyes?

headpat.

another headpat.

cute little soft headpat

is it the height difference that just makes him unable to control his hand from such sweet gesture?

probably

most certainly, actually

he just can't help it :( one look at how cute you look and you don't even get the chance to finish your sentence be–

yup. headpat!!!!!

it's never enough for him, there are times where he feels the urge to just start speedily yet gently tap the top of your head countless times while your head just bops up and down

the way people do with their pets when the cuteness aggression hits (please tell me you know what i mean)

if you dont i gotchu i provide with visual representation here! (volume warning!!!! its loud!!)

he finds that HILARIOUS and so adorable at the same time

he'd just start giggling and you can't help but enjoy his laugh and playfulness

but if he doesn't stop you're gonna get dizzy a bit so he'll recieve a headpat in return!

... just a more aggressive one

call it a cute bonk ^_^

emotionally prepare yourself not to get TOO affected by his sudden puppy eyes because how dare you do such thing to him :<

apologize with a forehead smooch and he'll get all shy and so cutieful

k. yeosang — acts of service

your personal trainer angel fairy dreamy looking like boyfriend

fondly sighs

yeosang's love for you is so gentle and thoughtful

he's your safe haven

his best way to express his feelings is by making sure you're always taking care of yourself, especially reminding you daily to take your supplements and vitamins!!

one day while you were cuddling him on the couch, you expressed your desire to have a more balanced and healthy lifestyle because he inspires you to do so

that was the moment a big shiny lightbulb lit up above yeosang's head

because he had the perfect idea how to help!! :D

the next day you'd already have in your hands a cute storage vitamin box that he got for you where you can organize your vitamins by days so it can be easier for you :(

of course he has one as well

he is always the one that helps you buy them once you run out

and he'd try his best to do his research based on your preferences and what seems to work best for you

when you tell him how much of a big difference they've been making and how much more energetic you feel, his smile melts your heart

he gets all bashful and giggles to himself, waving his hand as if he doesn't consider that he has done a lot

(well i consider eating him in one bite)

after all, that's what a good boyfriend should do! no biggie!

but yeosang has no idea how much it means to you; for him to always check up in you, to be your daily reminder just in case you forget about the vitamins, to diligently help you achieve the healthy lifestyle you strive for

c. san — physical touch

everyone please act shocked

of course it's physical touch

i feel like i'd commit a crime if i didn't pick it

he's just a cute clingy cat :(

you figured out his love language quite fast, a little bit after you have made your relationship official and gave him your consent

he was shy at first

VERY shy

at first he could feel satisfied enough even with just your hand in his, or a timid hug

honestly he just wanted you near him!

but after some time when both of you got more comfortable with each other and after lots of showers with affection,

he started attacking your cheeks in the cutest way possible

every time he would have you near him, you'd see him suddenly leaning towards one side of you

next second you'd feel the softness of his cheek touching yours

and not only touch

but he would push himself even closer to you if that's possible, smushing your cheeks together while he's pouting

as if he wants to fuse both of your bodies into one because having you like that against him?? clearly isn't enough

also starts gently rubbing it against your own cheek, humming to himself because of how nice the feeling is while his eyes are closed in content

with time you got used to it and even started to like it and look forward to it

(every time i see clips of him doing that to other members i can't help but giggle)

he's just the cutest <3

no one cats the way san cats

s. mingi — quality time

the type of boyfriend that if he could, he would attach you to his hip like a lucky charm forever and ever

because you always bring him luck, inspiration and hope whenever he has you near him :(

he feels a bit lost in your absence, always looking for ways to hear from you one way or another

so a lot of times when you two would blissfully share each other's space, mingi would ask you to attend his dancing practice, so you can witness what impressive moves he came up with and what choreographies he has been working on ^^

he is truly sososososo talented

and you'd just watch him with your lips slightly parted, amazement written all over your face as your eyes would follow the way his flexible body moves like water, with such calculated and striking motions

or other times, when he'd willingly share his personal space with you in his studio where he worked on so many new instrumentals and demos that might be useful for the group's future releases or his solo projects

every minute he would turn his head towards you just so he could catch a glimpse of your face expression

and he would smile to himself as he'd gaze at the endearing way you enjoy the rhythm and overall vibe of the music

his eyes would start sparkling in the dim lighting as you praise his efforts and works

and the biggest, cutest smile would adorn his bare face

sobs mingi.. mingi!! ^__^ mingi :3 MINGI!!!!!!!!

from that moment on, he only grows more confident to have you partake in any type of project he's crafting

you soon realize that you're the only one that gets this treatment

that's how big of an effect you have on song mingi. and he loves you dearly. always share your feedback and space with him. pretty please with a cherry on top <3

he said that not me

j. wooyoung — BITING gift giving

sorry let me get serious

WOOYOUNG.

this man emanates love through every single pore so it was SO hard to pick only one love language

but it had to be done!

he's typically in his sugar baby era

but when it comes to you????????

i hope you're prepared to get spoiled ^^

his love for you is just too strong

but so is his credit card!

even before both of you confessed to each other, wooyoung had been giving you subtle hints that he was having a crush on you

and a lot of his hints were consisting mostly in him buying something for you

you eyed a cute plushie through the shop's window?

"waa, wooyoung, this plushie is so cute don't you think!!!!"

wooyoung thinks that he is buying it for you!!!!!

and you know what

he's getting two plushies actually, because they remind him of you and him

once he steps out of the shop, he hands the plushie to you with the cutest smile plastered on his lips and a twinkle in his eyes

"look, it's us," he exclaims as he brings his plushie close to the one in your hands and, to your utter surprise, makes them aggressively kiss.

(i just made myself SO devastated by writing that oh my god)

that was actually the day you two admitted having a crush on each other

from that day on, wooyoung's need to spoil you only grew

he'd want to match with you not only when it comes to a pair of plushies or ten, but clothes as well

not those that are SO visibly matching, instead more subtle ones that sort of compliment each other's looks and make you two match perfectly, like two puzzle pieces :,)

yes, wooyoung would be the one that would buy the clothes for you and surprise you with soooo many bags in front of your door, so excited for you to try on everything

he's whipped! can you blame him :(

you are his happiness and he wouldn't have it any other way, you deserve every single gift, end of discussion!!

c. jongho — acts of service

the acts of service king

i said what i said!!

also the king of americanos yup yup iktr!

speaking of americano coffee :>

in the beginning of your relationship with jongho, you'd often have dates at the prettiest, comfiest cafes in town

you'd both order your usual drink of choice, and whenever you'd get coffee, he would pay extra attention to what type of coffee is it so he can get a cup for you next time and impress you with it

not just coffee but shh this is about coffee shh

after some time, you took the relationship to the next level, moving in together;

and whenever jongho had to leave earlier than you for his schedule, the mornings would smell like the best freshly made coffee you had ever smelled

because your sweet and attentive boyfriend would try his best to copy the recipe of your favorite coffee drink

from scratch as well

grinding the best coffee beans he could find into grounds

using water heated between 195°F-205°F

aiming for a total brew time between 3-5 minutes

like this is serious for him.

because he NEEDS it to be perfect and he NEEDS to cutely brag about it and he NEEDS to make you feel very pleased!

"hey, y/n, would you like some coffee?"

"no, thank youuu, my boyfriend made me the best cup of coffee this morning !!"

he would also leave a lovely note next to the mug :(

what more could you ask for. seriously.

you're gonna have some people become jealous but hey! choi jongho THE choi jongho chose you <3 and you will always be the only one he would make coffee for, from scratch, at the first glow of the sunrise

you are the apple of his eye

the only apple he would never break in half

see what i did there :D

𓏲 ࣪₊♡ taglist: @yuyusuyu

{💌ྀི} masterlist.

[bloodsuckingfiends]

NSFW headcanon -- you might have written some stuff about this before and it's just been a while and I forgot, so I apologize if this accidentally duplicates anything you've already written.

In my mind, Astarion has a praise kink. I think our elf wants to be told how good he makes Tav feel/how good he's being for Tav, and I think that validation heightens his pleasure that much more.

I also think it takes him some time to get there. I think calling him "boy," whether good or bad, is always and forever off the table, and I think there are trigger words or phrases he doesn't even remember until Tav inadvertently uses one and then one particularly bad night comes back to him in a rush and he has to stop.

But all in all, I think he enjoys being told that he's doing a good job no matter what the situation -- sex, relationship, whatever he decides to do after they save the Gate, whether that's going down into the Underdark to help the spawn or opening up his own tailoring/alterations place. Whatever it is. So that's why I think he has a praise kink.

Oh I totally agree, he definitely has a praise kink! After centuries of being belittled and abused, I think that giving him praise, both sexual and otherwise, is one of the highest and purest forms of love for him.

Sexually, I think it especially heightens his pleasure when it's praising him for doing so well in regards to his own pleasure rather than his partners. That's not to say he doesn't also enjoy being praised for pleasing his partner, but he went so long focusing on other's pleasure, that it's nice to be told how well he's doing focusing on his own for a change.

I am guilty of using the praise of "good boy" in some of my writing, but I really like the perspective you gave on it! I could 110% see why that would be a trigger phrase for him

Also, Astarion having his own tailor/alterations shop after the brain is one of my absolute favorite headcanons <3

[freakroth]

i saw your post saying that people who ship incest and headcanon dazai as liking that stuff are obviously going to be harrassed. I don't headcanon dazai as liking daddy kiddy stuff, but i want to ask how you think writing about that makes a person bad. because dazai has literally committed AT LEAST child abuse(akutagawa), 136 murders, 312 extortion cases, 625 cases of fraud and more. but if you think authors deserve to get harrassed for writing about sick crimes like incest because they support or like such things, then why aren't you harrassing asagiri for writing about all those things? and I've seen alot of people that act like sex crimes are somehow different from torture and murder. so I'd like to ask this. do you approve of cheating irl because you act like people who write about sexual related immorality are condoning it and then you say that you might write about cheating in your fic request rules. Also, If you're deep in the bsd community then you may have read no longer human, in which it is heavily heavily implied(to the point that there's literally no other explanation for what happened to her exept rape) that yozo's wife,yoshiko, was raped. do you believe that the irl dazai approved of rape?

I don't mean to come off as rude or argumentative, so sorry if i do, im genuinely curious.

I'm sorry but, are you stupid? you're asking why someone is a bad person for writing incest, pedophilia and rape content. OFC SOMEONE IS A BAD PERSON FOR WRITING THAT KIND OF STUFF. If someone writes it they normalize it, and normalzing disgusting shit like that is VERY harmful.

Its kinda dumb that you are compering Dazai, a fictional character to real people, Dazai is not a real person, so his actions don't effect real people, but people who make incest do effect real people. As someone who is a victim of sa, its very triggering to see incest, pedophilia, rape ect content being made of my favorite character. Making that type of content is normalizing it, and if we normalize kids being raped by someone they're close to, then its gonna end up making younger kids think that its okay if that happens to them.

"but if you think authors deserve to get harrassed for writing about sick crimes like incest because they support or like such things" i never said to harass the writers, i said that if they are gonna write that shit they need to be able to handle the hate, and yes they deserve hate for making it, and saying its for coping isn't a valid excuse, because they are hurting other victims at the same time.

"I've seen alot of people that act like sex crimes are somehow different from torture and murder" They are different, rape is done by the attacker so that they can feel sexual pleasure. And sadly in some cases, like junko furuta, people get raped, tortured and murdered for no reason. But still torture and rape are still different, and i don't know why you're bringing up torture and murder when this is about incest content.

"do you approve of cheating irl because you act like people who write about sexual related immorality are condoning it and then you say that you might write about cheating in your fic request rules." The answer is no, just because i said i MIGHT write for it doesn't mean i will, its meant as "in some cases i might write it" and even if you don't condone incest, rape and pedophilia irl, its stil very much wrong and disgusting and people who write it should really feel guilty about it, if you have thoughts about that stuff you need to seek help, not normalize and spread it around the interent. Also cheating and incest/rape content aren't comperable btw, one is a crime and the other one is breaking someones trust.

Now the book part, i have the book but i haven't read it, and bringing the real life dazai, into this is stupid, he lived over 70 years ago, people thought differently about rape back then so its hard to know. also the book is a fucking autobiography so ofc its gonna talk about stuff that happened in his life

Anyways please tell me if anything in here is wrong or if you wanna add anything to this

Btw saying "sorry if i come of as rude" after compering me to weirdos is something! 🥰

[jewish-vents]

Goyim are wearing on my last nerve. I get the Mr. Rogers "look for the helpers" quote thrown at me regularly, people go "oh just don't watch/read/listen to them" when I mention someone being antisemitic, and act as if Jewish people who are upset are at fault for looking at something we knew would make us upset. And that's just not how this works.

I have never gone out of my way to look at something that makes me upset once in my entire life. I block people and stop using sites that upset me. I installed a Firefox extension to help filter content. I unsubscribed from every YouTuber that I used to watch who was antisemitic, installed an add-on to make them never come up in my feed, and installed an add-on to hide comments underneath videos from me. I've had to drop all my friends. I don't do anything to be visibly Jewish. I avoid any political content anywhere I see it. I have so, so many words filtered on multiple sites.

And the stuff that's allegedly my responsibility to just not watch/read/etc finds me anyway.

Try to watch YouTube? Antisemitism. Try to look at some fanart? Antisemitism. Watch the news? There it is. Searching for a D&D group? It pops up yet again. Look for some Animal Crossing design codes? Once more, with feeling. Walk to the dining hall from my dorm? Right there, in my face, yelling full volume. Go to class? The professors will make it a routine feature of lectures. Walk to the grocery store and back to get food so you can avoid the encampment? The cashiers are chatting about (((the Jews))). Search for something on Etsy for your mom's birthday? It's in the search results. Open up a website you go to for recipes because you want to cook until you feel less stressed? "Top 10 Recipes Stolen By Israelis". Buy a book at the used bookstore to read to take your mind off of things? An entire display is all anti-Israel books, right there to greet you when you walk in. Go to the thrift store to donate things you made or repaired? Your reward for this good deed is a sign in the window with the 'from the mountains to the sea' quote. Go home for a weekend to hang out with your family and naively think in a little town you wouldn't encounter antisemitism? Right-wing people drunk on conspiracy theories talk about their baseless beliefs right on the street where you can hear it through the windows.

There's this thing in psychology called DARVO. Deny, attack, reverse victim and offender. And it perfectly sums up the "nice" goyim's responses. The world isn't the offender, it's you. You're not being hurt, you're the one weighing everyone down with their negativity. They never address the root issue, that being that antisemitism is rampant, they just divert their attention onto something else, something pleasant to think about.

The problem with DARVO, like other abuser tactics, is that if you use it too often, it stops being effective. 11 months in, it's over the threshold. I am no longer going to feel guilty for noticing things are messed up.

If you don't want me to notice it, then change it. The easiest way to get people to stop complaining about the state of the world is to make it even marginally less bad, just enough we can convince ourselves there's hope for the future. But goyim can't do that, because that would take effort and involve admitting they have maybe done a single thing wrong in their lives. And their whole self-confidence rests upon the lie that is abdicating themselves from responsibility for their own actions.

I used to be angry at them. Now I'm annoyed at myself for ever expecting better. Genuinely, I do not know why I ever thought they were capable of being any better than they are now. There was nothing going on to prove to me that they had the capacity to be decent to other people when it wouldn't get them public praise, and most goyim are motivated entirely by extrinsic validation from their peers.

There is no anger left. There's just disappointment. And it's not even disappointment in them, because this is the best that they can do.

.