#i want to take aro

[nonnydog]

Do you guys ever think about love. (Obvious question)

I’m now about three months out from ending my first ever relationship. It was complicated and good and great and sad and all of the above—somewhat tragic, yet inevitable. (Yes it was a wlw relationship, to everyone asking.) I finally got my first kiss at the ripe age of 21, lol. And we’re coming up on what would’ve been our one year in Fall pretty soon.

But, on the opposite end now. . . I finally feel like I’ve lost feelings for that woman. She’s still my friend, but that romantic energy is gone. I got rid of it. So did she.

I have always had complicated feelings about romance. I never felt it was something necessary to fulfillment in life (im birom/bisexual, for context, but there was a period where I wondered if I was aro/ace or some unique combo). I really value my independence and being able to do what I want when I want to. I know this is sounding trademark commitment issues, but I think it’s more that I’ve realized that maybe a romantic, long-term relationship isn’t for me.

Obviously, I’m happy for all those who want to pursue romance and long-term stuff, etc. And I know there are less tight relationships—like, I really like the idea of having separate bedrooms. But for me. . . I’m not sure if that life, in general, is for me.

I’m not sure that I want to have to take another person’s wants and needs into consideration when thinking about moving places, buying things, etc. Issa lot. I have friends who love me. I have friends who hug me. Obviously, other things would be nice, but it’s not like I’d be without people or touch should I choose to not pursue a partner.

I feel things about those posts that say “are they too close to be friends? Or are you just not close enough to your friends?” I think we should all be closer to our friends. And romantic relationships are not paramount. They can be enhancing, but, imo, they should not make or break life.

I just don’t think romance should be assumed as a default thing. As something required for happiness. As something everyone is expected to do.

I could be wrong about my personal preferences here—or, they may change overtime. I’m not sure yet. Just thinking about love, and such, as of late.

[knifearo]

this year my challenge for everyone is to unlearn the association between love and morality. love is not something that is inherently morally good, and the absence of love is not something that is inherently bad. sex without love isn't morally bankrupt, it's just an action. people without love aren't less kind or less good, they're just people. when we can get past this false (and often unnoticed) dichotomy of good love/evil lovelessness then i think we are going to be able to take leaps and bounds in sex positivity, aro advocacy, certain discussions of mental health...

[maerhiya]

in regards to the constant dismissal of his aroace identity, i hate it when alastor 'fans' say and use the excuse: "he's fictional, he won't get offended."

like, you're right, but it can and will offend us.

when you see yourself being represented on screen, of course you'd feel enthusiastic about it — representation allows individuals to see themselves reflected in the media they consume, validating their identities and experiences. but when so many people take that representation and decide to disregard and discard it, it is so fucking frustrating. we finally have another character to be part of the tiny amount of representation we have, but then people don't even care about how much it means to us? like yeah, alastor won't get offended because he's not real, but it frustrates and annoys us. do you realize that it's also technically invalidating the aroace community? that you're invalidating our feelings? imagine feeling like you're finally being seen because your orientation is finally being represented in media, and people just decide to blatantly ignore, discard, and invalidate it.

media has such a powerful influence on real life, representation being a prevalent factor of it. there are numerous posts that dictate how people went to watch a movie/show or read a book just because a character depicts their identity in it — obviously, being represented is an incredibly uplifting and validating experience.

which is why seeing an aroace character in a popular show is so meaningful to us because we live in a world where romance and sex are literally everywhere and prioritized above all else. (and it's pretty obvious that alastor's on the repulsed end of the spectrum, but even if he wasn't, at least make an effort to acknowledge his sexuality instead of continuing to portray him as allo; aroace folks can be in relationships but it's not going to be the same thing with allos' experiences.)

any and every representation matters, but why does that seem to stop at people under the aroace spectrum? like y'all can't even let us appreciate the scraps of representation we have. we barely have any, so are we really that dramatic for being upset at how people easily disregard and dismiss our identities that are being depicted on screen just like that? is it truly wrong of us to want to defend and maintain the little representation we have?

[aromantic-everyday]

Huge shoutout to Aromantic Allosexual people, you are wonderful and just as valid as the rest of us, you belong and are loved, even if it may not seem like it right now!

[gwensy]

hello... you may notice you are strapped to a chair infront of a computer screen.... you must either saw off your arms or read two hours worth of mcu influenced daredevil fanon

[lgbtlunaverse]

So I've been wondering about one particuar point on the "Jiang Cheng marriage recquirement" list and it's the one about low cultivation.

Now on its face, except for the "must be nice to jin ling" point, the whole thing just looks like the most standard list of "ideal wife characteristics under a patriarchal society." naturally beautiful, graceful and obedient, coming from a good family, voice not too loud, etc. This leads to either the interpretation that jiang cheng really wants that (doubt dot png) or just... put all the most stereotypical things on a list even though that's not what he really wants.

In that context "cultivation must not be too high" sounds like a typical "men are scared of women who are smarter/stronger" thing. you know, the dudes who feel 'intimidated' when their wife or girlfriend makes more money than them.

...Except wasn't Yanli openly mocked for her low cultivation? Like, wasn't one of the reasons Jin Zixuan was such an ass to her initially because he shallowly assumed her lower cultivation made her an unworthy marriage candidate? Jin Guangshan may hate women who can read but society overal doesn't give the impression that high cultivation in women is seen as something undesirable. I mean... a wife that never looks like she's over 20 even as she starts aging? yeah I have no problem believing a misogynistic society is okay with high cultivation.

So if it's not there just to fit the stereotypical standard of an ideal wife...

Jiang Cheng, are you just describing your sister?

LIke?? Every single point on this list applies to Yanli. All of them. I don't mean this in a freudian incest-y way but in a "jiang cheng are you so unaware of what you want in a partner you just took the only woman you've had an unambiguously good relationship with and hoped no one would notice???" way. Does he know the difference in what you should like about your sister and what you should like in a spouse? Is he even aware he's doing this? Jiang Cheng answer meeeee.

[anistarrose]

My current version, of my ever-evolving theory, on what constitutes "aromantic stories" is that first off, there's absolutely a wide spectrum between 1, "this is explicitly undeniably about aromanticism," and 2, "there sure is a noteworthy amount of aro subtext, but representing aros clearly wasn't the author's intent." But the spectrum is best completed not as a straight line, but as a triangle, where the 3rd point is "the story probably wasn't created with aromanticism at the forefront of anyone's mind, but was created with subverting particular expectations related to romantic relationships in mind." And in my experience, a lot of juicy aromanticism-related experiences that are underrepresented in their own right can lie in that third option, regardless of whether the characters are aro-spec or allo or kind of whatever you headcanon.

So, what does make a story on this spectrum "aromantic?" IDK, I wouldn't necessarily include all or most of the firm 2s (unintentional subtext) under the aromantic story mantle. But when you get into the gray areas that inch a little closer to 1 and 3, let alone the gray area between 1 and 3 where intent is ambiguous but ultimately may not matter, it makes sense that different people will have different takes.

[kissimirrit]

i drew this back in 2016, 7 years ago, during the height of anti-aspec hate going on.

there's a lot i could say about that time; the harassment i faced, the cruel things said about me and those like me, the erasure and the pathologization of our existence, etc. but what i remember most profoundly is the burning kinship i felt for other aspecs, and the desire to fight for us.

and, in my spite, i was determined to love and take pride in my asexuality and aromanticism in the face of all that hate, because i refused to succumb to feelings of self-flagellation any longer.

i think about this time often. how it was the catalyst for me to learn to love myself. i loved my asexual and aromantic siblings, because i loved asexuality and aromanticism. because i loved myself. because i loved what i am.

because i'm aroace.

happy pride month.

[secret-critter]

I've been thinking so much about the movie and especially that one shot of Logan in the Honda odyssey grinning while Wade's blood drips onto him.

This shot in particular makes me think...

In my head they're both head over heels for each other but in different ways. Wade is absolutely in love with Logan, in the romantic sense.

Logan on the other hand isn't in love with Wade, he's in love with the violence and the adrenaline. There's something about knowing his opponent can't die. Something about knowing he can go all out and get messy and bloody and not worry about killing someone. Something about Wade fighting back and being just as brutal with him.

Like idk I just think Wade is definitely in love with Logan and while Logan may not be in love with Wade, he's definitely into the dynamic they have, even if he would never admit it.

This post is about aromantic Logan btw

[greencloakedfae]

Thinking about the dynamics between the 'good' and 'bad' sides in renegade nell.

Sofia ofc is obsessed with catching Nell, which starts as a quick action to cover for Thomas but then kind of spins out of control into a full obsession with finding her and killing her. Poynton is curious about Nell but only really in a way of trying to figure out how best he could use her to his advantage, either through figuring out how she got her strength or through Sofias obsession with her.

Meanwhile, Nell outwardly doesn't really give a shit about them throughout the show. Her focus is pretty only on keeping her sisters safe and finding out how to get past this whole bounty issue. Its a safe bet she hates Thomas, yknow on the whole account of him killing her father thing and then framing her for murder. Queen of repressed feelings honestly cause she doesn't really address it during the show, she hasn't got time to.

She does get to rant about Sofia though!! Though I get the impression she more just finds Sofia a nuisance. A big nuisance, on the account of trying to kill her with magic and all that, but its fustration she shows outwardly not hate. And I don't think Nell is really aware of Poynton until they figure out theres a plot against the Queen, literally meeting him for the first time as she tries to kill him. Nell even readily works with Sofia at the end, being really civil and almost nice all things considered.

Nell is the root of their problems, but the root of Nell's problems is just the whole system.

And then coupling this with the flip side, where Charles and Polly are infatuated with her. So many people have a lot of big feelings about Nell and she is just trying her best to sideline them for more important things. Like not being captured and protecting her family.

I would have loved to see how these dynamics would have changed in season 2 though. You could definitely feel Nell's feelings about Sofia switch from neutral annoyance to proper hatred in those last few scenes. Ahhhh

[vic-does-battlecats]

If Frostwhistle isn’t real why does the website keep referencing it

[lollytea]

I need to watch Sharpay's Fabulous Adventure to reach my final conclusion on if she's even attracted to men

[knifearo]

everybody! quick! tell me what aro joy means to you <2

[altschmerzes]

omgggg shipping is not arophobic in the LEAST but keep making us look like whiners with no real problems by continuing to complain about it I guess

yeah that's definitely what i said in any post ever man great job

average person who has made shipping their entire identity will see a post where someone says 'hey please don't say these specific types of things that are degrading and cruel about nonromantic relationships while enjoying your ships and maybe examine the thought processes and beliefs and prejudices that led to saying them' and be like 'oh so you're a whiner with no real problems who thinks shipping is arophobic?'

telling on yourself there bud

[cautionwetfloor-png]

part of the problem is that one camp is telling others to not make any cake while refusing to make cakes themselves because they feel they shouldnt have to and its all very silly 😭

saiki k fandom can we please be normal i just got here bro. what.

also bonus doodle for you anon bc i like it when people ask me things. my actual thoughts are in tags But since this is the main bit people read: if people would like too ill happily do saiki k doodle requests lol

[hi-cassiel]

Wanting a QPR with someone who is probably not aromantic is making me feel crazy because it’s like please please please please don’t romantically like anyone but also please please please don’t romantically like me either

Just be my best friend forever, just keep choosing me, just dont leave me🙏