#i want to take aro

[nonnydog]

Do you guys ever think about love. (Obvious question)

I’m now about three months out from ending my first ever relationship. It was complicated and good and great and sad and all of the above—somewhat tragic, yet inevitable. (Yes it was a wlw relationship, to everyone asking.) I finally got my first kiss at the ripe age of 21, lol. And we’re coming up on what would’ve been our one year in Fall pretty soon.

But, on the opposite end now. . . I finally feel like I’ve lost feelings for that woman. She’s still my friend, but that romantic energy is gone. I got rid of it. So did she.

I have always had complicated feelings about romance. I never felt it was something necessary to fulfillment in life (im birom/bisexual, for context, but there was a period where I wondered if I was aro/ace or some unique combo). I really value my independence and being able to do what I want when I want to. I know this is sounding trademark commitment issues, but I think it’s more that I’ve realized that maybe a romantic, long-term relationship isn’t for me.

Obviously, I’m happy for all those who want to pursue romance and long-term stuff, etc. And I know there are less tight relationships—like, I really like the idea of having separate bedrooms. But for me. . . I’m not sure if that life, in general, is for me.

I’m not sure that I want to have to take another person’s wants and needs into consideration when thinking about moving places, buying things, etc. Issa lot. I have friends who love me. I have friends who hug me. Obviously, other things would be nice, but it’s not like I’d be without people or touch should I choose to not pursue a partner.

I feel things about those posts that say “are they too close to be friends? Or are you just not close enough to your friends?” I think we should all be closer to our friends. And romantic relationships are not paramount. They can be enhancing, but, imo, they should not make or break life.

I just don’t think romance should be assumed as a default thing. As something required for happiness. As something everyone is expected to do.

I could be wrong about my personal preferences here—or, they may change overtime. I’m not sure yet. Just thinking about love, and such, as of late.

[knifearo]

this year my challenge for everyone is to unlearn the association between love and morality. love is not something that is inherently morally good, and the absence of love is not something that is inherently bad. sex without love isn't morally bankrupt, it's just an action. people without love aren't less kind or less good, they're just people. when we can get past this false (and often unnoticed) dichotomy of good love/evil lovelessness then i think we are going to be able to take leaps and bounds in sex positivity, aro advocacy, certain discussions of mental health...

[maerhiya]

in regards to the constant dismissal of his aroace identity, i hate it when alastor 'fans' say and use the excuse: "he's fictional, he won't get offended."

like, you're right, but it can and will offend us.

when you see yourself being represented on screen, of course you'd feel enthusiastic about it — representation allows individuals to see themselves reflected in the media they consume, validating their identities and experiences. but when so many people take that representation and decide to disregard and discard it, it is so fucking frustrating. we finally have another character to be part of the tiny amount of representation we have, but then people don't even care about how much it means to us? like yeah, alastor won't get offended because he's not real, but it frustrates and annoys us. do you realize that it's also technically invalidating the aroace community? that you're invalidating our feelings? imagine feeling like you're finally being seen because your orientation is finally being represented in media, and people just decide to blatantly ignore, discard, and invalidate it.

media has such a powerful influence on real life, representation being a prevalent factor of it. there are numerous posts that dictate how people went to watch a movie/show or read a book just because a character depicts their identity in it — obviously, being represented is an incredibly uplifting and validating experience.

which is why seeing an aroace character in a popular show is so meaningful to us because we live in a world where romance and sex are literally everywhere and prioritized above all else. (and it's pretty obvious that alastor's on the repulsed end of the spectrum, but even if he wasn't, at least make an effort to acknowledge his sexuality instead of continuing to portray him as allo; aroace folks can be in relationships but it's not going to be the same thing with allos' experiences.)

any and every representation matters, but why does that seem to stop at people under the aroace spectrum? like y'all can't even let us appreciate the scraps of representation we have. we barely have any, so are we really that dramatic for being upset at how people easily disregard and dismiss our identities that are being depicted on screen just like that? is it truly wrong of us to want to defend and maintain the little representation we have?

[aromantic-everyday]

Huge shoutout to Aromantic Allosexual people, you are wonderful and just as valid as the rest of us, you belong and are loved, even if it may not seem like it right now!

[lgbtlunaverse]

So I've been wondering about one particuar point on the "Jiang Cheng marriage recquirement" list and it's the one about low cultivation.

Now on its face, except for the "must be nice to jin ling" point, the whole thing just looks like the most standard list of "ideal wife characteristics under a patriarchal society." naturally beautiful, graceful and obedient, coming from a good family, voice not too loud, etc. This leads to either the interpretation that jiang cheng really wants that (doubt dot png) or just... put all the most stereotypical things on a list even though that's not what he really wants.

In that context "cultivation must not be too high" sounds like a typical "men are scared of women who are smarter/stronger" thing. you know, the dudes who feel 'intimidated' when their wife or girlfriend makes more money than them.

...Except wasn't Yanli openly mocked for her low cultivation? Like, wasn't one of the reasons Jin Zixuan was such an ass to her initially because he shallowly assumed her lower cultivation made her an unworthy marriage candidate? Jin Guangshan may hate women who can read but society overal doesn't give the impression that high cultivation in women is seen as something undesirable. I mean... a wife that never looks like she's over 20 even as she starts aging? yeah I have no problem believing a misogynistic society is okay with high cultivation.

So if it's not there just to fit the stereotypical standard of an ideal wife...

Jiang Cheng, are you just describing your sister?

LIke?? Every single point on this list applies to Yanli. All of them. I don't mean this in a freudian incest-y way but in a "jiang cheng are you so unaware of what you want in a partner you just took the only woman you've had an unambiguously good relationship with and hoped no one would notice???" way. Does he know the difference in what you should like about your sister and what you should like in a spouse? Is he even aware he's doing this? Jiang Cheng answer meeeee.

[gwensy]

hello... you may notice you are strapped to a chair infront of a computer screen.... you must either saw off your arms or read two hours worth of mcu influenced daredevil fanon

[dramatic-delirium]

WHY IS GOOD ART MOSTLY SHIP ART AND EROTICA ART WHY CANT YOU JUST DRAW THEM AS FRIENDS AND MAKE IT BEUATIFUL

[anistarrose]

My current version, of my ever-evolving theory, on what constitutes "aromantic stories" is that first off, there's absolutely a wide spectrum between 1, "this is explicitly undeniably about aromanticism," and 2, "there sure is a noteworthy amount of aro subtext, but representing aros clearly wasn't the author's intent." But the spectrum is best completed not as a straight line, but as a triangle, where the 3rd point is "the story probably wasn't created with aromanticism at the forefront of anyone's mind, but was created with subverting particular expectations related to romantic relationships in mind." And in my experience, a lot of juicy aromanticism-related experiences that are underrepresented in their own right can lie in that third option, regardless of whether the characters are aro-spec or allo or kind of whatever you headcanon.

So, what does make a story on this spectrum "aromantic?" IDK, I wouldn't necessarily include all or most of the firm 2s (unintentional subtext) under the aromantic story mantle. But when you get into the gray areas that inch a little closer to 1 and 3, let alone the gray area between 1 and 3 where intent is ambiguous but ultimately may not matter, it makes sense that different people will have different takes.

[kissimirrit]

i drew this back in 2016, 7 years ago, during the height of anti-aspec hate going on.

there's a lot i could say about that time; the harassment i faced, the cruel things said about me and those like me, the erasure and the pathologization of our existence, etc. but what i remember most profoundly is the burning kinship i felt for other aspecs, and the desire to fight for us.

and, in my spite, i was determined to love and take pride in my asexuality and aromanticism in the face of all that hate, because i refused to succumb to feelings of self-flagellation any longer.

i think about this time often. how it was the catalyst for me to learn to love myself. i loved my asexual and aromantic siblings, because i loved asexuality and aromanticism. because i loved myself. because i loved what i am.

because i'm aroace.

happy pride month.

[secret-critter]

I've been thinking so much about the movie and especially that one shot of Logan in the Honda odyssey grinning while Wade's blood drips onto him.

This shot in particular makes me think...

In my head they're both head over heels for each other but in different ways. Wade is absolutely in love with Logan, in the romantic sense.

Logan on the other hand isn't in love with Wade, he's in love with the violence and the adrenaline. There's something about knowing his opponent can't die. Something about knowing he can go all out and get messy and bloody and not worry about killing someone. Something about Wade fighting back and being just as brutal with him.

Like idk I just think Wade is definitely in love with Logan and while Logan may not be in love with Wade, he's definitely into the dynamic they have, even if he would never admit it.

This post is about aromantic Logan btw

[lollytea]

I need to watch Sharpay's Fabulous Adventure to reach my final conclusion on if she's even attracted to men

[ewwww-what]

Sometimes I try to talk about why I don’t like the idea of alloromantic Riz Gukgak but I make myself upset and end up needing to take a lap.

[knifearo]

everybody! quick! tell me what aro joy means to you <2

[thereallyreallylatebird]

Psst...aroaces

You're amazing and a vital part of the aro community

Also your flag is really pretty

-Your friendly neighborhood aroallo

[specialagentartemis]

something I see a lot, and feel like I have to remind myself regularly not to fall into the trap of:

It’s easy to relate to a character. It’s easy to see yourself in them, to see them as Like You. There’s power in that.

But I’ve met several people now who’ve gotten really angry and upset with me for not liking their fave, or for having a very different interpretation of the character than they do. People who relate so hard to a character, project so hard onto a character, that me not liking them, me acknowledging that the character is a villain, or me just having a different interpretation of that character’s relationships and motives, feels like an attack on them as a person—and they respond to me as such.

I’ve seen it happen enough that I try to consciously remind myself. Other’s people’s interpretations of a character are not an attack on me. I know who I am and that will not change if other people are wrong about have a different perspective on my favorite character.

[redysetdare]

while "aspec mafia" is kinda funny as a joke tag, if we actually wanted an actual tag that was made specifically to avoid non-aspecs from posting in aspec tags then wouldn't it be better to follow the "Actually___" formula of tagging? So "Actually Aspec" "Actually Aro" "Actually Ace" etc etc etc? That way it's taken seriously as a tag and also serves the exact purpose that it is meant to serve?