#i want to stay until it ends
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A procession of confessions.
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan xichen#jin guangyao#lan wangji#When Lan Xichen and Jin Guangyao flew into the scene I honestly had to hit pause and catch my breath.#I did not expect them to waltz in and start flirting with each other.#With this comic I have officially drawn all sides of 3zun doing something homoromantic with each other. Nice!#Lan flirting is offering to organize events. “Please...let me open up my planner...do you want to create a shared google calendar with me?”#“Oh...we will have to spend so many nights at a desk working out logistics. Do you want to see how good I can balance these accounts?”#Lan events probably have the best 'stayed within budget' reputation of all the clans.#What I mean to say is...Where are the Lan Wedding planner AUs? Actually scrap that: ALL the sects as rival wedding planners.#The Jins would do high end clients with huge budgets. Lans do traditional style weddings. Yunmeng Jiang promises fun and colour.#Sit with my vision for a moment. I'm going to move on to another topic but don't *not* marinate on that idea.#Pour one out for Lan Wangji. For having to sit through all this flirting and confessing while he ruins his own chances.#He will have to wait many years before living out his romantic fantasies. Until then...he must wait in the wings for his cue.
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consumed by the inevitable
#messyr#you know- I kept thinking: One day. The cage will be open but I feel like I'll stay. Because if I run- I'd wind up dead from their bullet#so I just- tend to- follow as much as I want to rebel and put sense into this fuckass household. I hate seeing the others in pain as well#and it hurts more that it feels like I can NEVER be the one to break this cycle of abuse- when I knew from the start- when I knew too much#but here I am ending up like the rest of them- helpless and unable to do jackshit about the situation. I cant say or do anything at all!#I dont want to end up like them- if anything I want to BREATHE- i want all of us to LIVE without this pain that has existed for generations#I want to help so bad no matter how much I know I am unloved.#no matter how much hate i carry- no matter how much burden- Underneath it all- I'm devoted to them- that's how fucked up I am#i know i'll never be enough. I know how often I think of death and wish it.#But I have a dream to achieve and I am not planning to die until I reach it. Not yet. If pain is where I strive best then so be it.#doodle#vent art#artists on tumblr#bpd#toxic behavior#learned helplessness
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fluorescent shrimp
#i wanted to draw the evolver gun but i couldn't find any refs with a good angle#normal gun will have to do#in any case i wanted to draw this like 2 weeks ago when i started playing the first game#but then i couldn't stop playing it and ended up finishing it at 1 am last saturday#and then i tried to sleep right after but i couldn't bc i wanted to play nirvana initiative so badly#so then i stayed up from then on until sunrise playing the second game#just beat it the other day#didn't like it as much as the first game but i still really enjoyed it#also this marks the second year in a row where i become obsessed with a duology of visual novels and play them in under two weeks#(last year was dgs)#my grades briefly plummeted as a result but they're ok now lol#ai the somnium files#aitsf#aiba#my art
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kim daengdaeng my little puppy ㅋㅋ thank you for always teasing me and thank you for taking care of me ㅋㅋ gukbap ㅋ
#if u ever find urself thinking 'chan takes care of everyone but who takes care of chan' the answer will always be seungmin#stray kids#seungchan#bang chan#kim seungmin#stray kids gifs#skz#skz gifs#my gifs#cbbc2023#i rewatched their 2kr while making this and ended up crying ksdjgsg ough they're so special to me. ik ive said this about every chan duo#meant it everytime!#but seungchan...dogboy4dogboy....ksm who will always always offer food to chan first bc he knows chan wont eat until everyone else does..#ksm who knows him so well and knows just what he needs and will let him cry all he wants and stay with him while he does ksm who when#chan said he wants to be their pillar and someone they can depend on went 'whatever sides u show us hyung will always be hyung'#hhh i just think. seungmin is incredibly emotinally intelligent and chan is someone who will hide his emotions like they're his best kept#secret and that's why they work so well. seungmin just gets it even if chan doesn't say anything and he knows how to comfort him whether#that takes the form of letting him cry without saying anything or going limp in his arms and not resisting his hugs#anw. normal abt them. if u even care
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Something something perhaps the reason Curly lacks a truly undamaged ID where his face is visible is to represent how much damage Jimmy had already affected on him throughout their relationship and the way Curly obscured part of who he is and what he stood to unintentionally cater to this toxic influence in his life.
#I think there is something to say that most people draw post crash curly and may not have every drawn him pre crash#and I think it says something that we only really look at the characters substantially in relation to Jimmy and not their own merits#unless we are discussing how J I M M Y mischarcterizes them cause in this#since we don’t assign a face and identify to Curly’s actions outside of Jimmy until the end their is the question of how much we are viewing#them as separate entities rather than intertwined actions cause while the flipping#of who we play at shows them and parallels and in separable in terms of the story going down#they couldn’t be drastically more different in thinking and you only really realize that at the birthday scene where Curly felt the need to#take responsibility for something while Jimmy just felt the need to take#this is also more so me thinking about all the reason people think Curly and Jimmy could be friends but they are missing the point of Jimmy#and his dynamic there is nothing severely weird or sinister about Curly or his intentions it’s that he’s well meaning to a fault#he’s an average dude having a mid life crisis and Jimmy is a guy that takes advantage of good intentions like the idea#that curly has to be like Jimmy in some way personality humor morally is the exact sort of projection Jimmy wants#to happen and does like it’s the sad and real case that sometimes people just have friends like Jimmy that they can’t cut off for one reason#or another like it’s not highly philosophical people are friends with objective assholes but it’s less about them#and more about the person feeling some obligation to stay like I feel like crafting him into#being more morally grey is to just make it easier to be angrier or think someone with more of a backbone#could of done something but it’s not even that he was spineless he was just too distracted and sometimes that feel like cowardice like even#Swansea waited it’s just the sad truth of how people avoid people like Jimmy or setting them off#sometimes it just does more harm than good I just am so bored with all the takes#acting like there was a perfect man on that ship and that any one outside of Anya knew the exact type of guy Jimmy#was from the get go like the point is other men wouldn’t in rape culture but women and their victims already know#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#throwing rocks at Jimmy
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I feel like, yall and Katsuki have a kid, it's going good, first day of school is tomorrow hell yeah right?
You spend hours convincing Katsuki that it's gonna be okay, nothing is gonna happen to baby, it's fine.
Then baby cries as soon as you both go to leave and Katsuki breaks hard.
He spends the day parked outside the kindergarten some days making sure his baby is okay 😭
You know how sometimes the parent has to stay for a little bit once class time actually starts just because the kid won't calm down? There's Kat with your weepy baby in his lap during opening ceremony, see; days of the week song and counting to ten, red faced n trying to hold back his own tears LMFAO because he honestly doesn't want to leave either.
(You ask him about it later, and he's defending himself with: what if something goes wrong? They don't like the lunch that's provided, or trip and fall in the unfamiliar hallways? Or god forbid, the teacher's an asshole and takes it out on the students???
Not that he hadn't already went overboard when you were looking at schools, vetting the program and reaching out to all the teachers to make sure they were exactly what he was looking for before even thinking about enrolling baby)
It's only when activity time actually starts that baby finally, finally pulls away from him when some kids ask yours to play with them, giving dad one last hug before shyly joining their circle and picking up a block.
AND there Bakugo is, crying on the way to the car and then low? high? key sobbing once you're in because your kid chose some "lil extras" to play with instead of continuing to cling onto him, which you have to remind him is actually a good thing, that other kids wanted to play with your child LMFAO.
He's such a freak LMFAO and it absolutely gets worse with your next baby, too jsdkafjkasdfjk BYE (he absolutely does hang out outside the kindergarten, sometimes even "forgetting" to give them their lunch ON PURPOSE, just so he has an excuse to drop it off and see them in the middle of the day).
#bakugo#did you see that tik tok of the auntie crying at the little girl's promotion to kindergarten#LMFAO that's bakugo#you turn around and his face is covered in tears even if he's just covering his mouth to stay quiet#and then ur kid notices and bawls too#WHY DO YOU HAVE SUCH A SENSITIVE FAMILY#it's your last baby who doesnt gaf meanwhile bakugo is full on losing it#he's expecting to go into the classroom again and sit with them for that first hour ... until your kid is just like BYE DAD SEE YA#he probs wants another baby after that to make up for it#thats how u end up with four kids.#no im just kidding he doesnt need that many#unless.......#nO JK#anyway hi pygmy i love you dearly how have u been?#caitie things#gen#pygmy lurks#kids tw
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It is so difficult loving Luke Skywalker and being Jedi positive.
#what if i told you that Luke loves his dad without it being attachment?#what if i told you that at the end of ROTJ Luke practices non-attached love when he lets Vader die instead of dragging him to escape?#because instead of letting Vader suffer through Luke’s desire to see him live; Luke sets it aside and removes Vaders masks#stays with Vader until he dies; fulfil Vader's last request even when it isn't something Luke really wants to#'our attachments make us strong' Luke literally lets Vader go! he mourns and moves on#Luke Skywalker is THE Jedi!#he is the foundational cornerstone of all things Jedi#i hate you 'time travel fics where Luke judges all of the Old Order'#luke would absolutely be the people's padawan bothering all of them about learning new things#luke skywalker#pro jedi#jedi positivity#luke skywalker loves being a jedi#their philosophies and way of life isn't for everyone but it's a life HE chose and he chose it out of love#star wars
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One of many late nights during their journey
#frieren at the funeral#sousou no frieren#frieren: beyond journey's end#stark x fern#fern frieren#stark frieren#I've been loving this anime so much I just wanted to draw them all together#Frieren staying up late watching the stars means she WILL be trying to sleep until noon to Fern's chagrin#But I bet she'd know a lot of old myths about the constellations#and she'd tell a couple to Stark if he asks
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Sky fest concert was INSANE 😂 (Also found the tiny @locallygrowndaikon)
Also me after the concert:
#sky children of the light#sky cotl#thatskygame#skyblr#sky anniversary#sky 5th anniversary#guys I was dead asleep after 1am and woke up at 3am just to try and sleep again#but I didn't want to end up with sideways vertigo again so I just stayed up a bit until the concert was over
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Does leopard still have 3 lives in her final battle? Or was that changed?
Yep. I think she drowned her once, then Leopardstar lunges up refreshed, and she gets the upper paw on Mistyfoot with 2 lives to go.
(MAYBE tw gore, but I really did try to be tasteful about a head being smashed on a rock.)
On her back, splashing and thrashing furiously against Leopardstar's claws dunking her head under, Mistyfoot glimpses a wave breaking just over the tip of a stone-blue rock. Her only chance.
With a surge of power, her claws sink into her leader's golden shoulder and they tumble and roll to the right. Before the tyrant even realizes what's happening, she's yanked up, and then whipped backwards with a wet CRUNCH
And then again
And again
And again, until Mistyfoot can't even make out what's left of her leader anymore. All she can see is that it's a red, brown, and yellow blur, because her eyes burning with salty tears and her whole body is trembling.
She drops the corpse onto the stone and it slides into the water, lifelessly. After a moment it spasms aimlessly one last time, like an insect does after its head is bitten off, unlike the deliberate, agonized throes of Tigerstar suffering through his doomed lives. And then it's still.
There's only the tranquil sound of bubbling water, and Mistyfoot's frenzied panting. Her pounding heart makes it hard to hear either.
The blood is carried off by the shallow water in scarlet swirls, but the lake runs pale red as if it's washing it away. Some were aware of this prophecy, but Mistyfoot was not.
It isn't closure to her, or a fulfillment of divine decree. It's just blood that should be on her paws, slicked away by the complicit river. She wished it could feel like it's over, but she's smart enough to know the truth. Has been through enough terrible events like this to understand what comes next.
Her body will move foward. Her mind will need to consider her deputy. Her paw will come down on code-defying cats like Blackclaw and Greenflower. But her heart will stay here, next to the remains of Leopardstar, the same way another piece of it remains at Stonefur's side across space and time.
#Tw gore#Juuuust in case but I did try to stay tasteful#While also trying to write it as gut-wrenchingly violent as I imagine in my head#Because it's important that it haunts her#The kill wasn't pretty and clean. It was awful. She didn't want this. It wasn't heroic#'Why did you do this to me? Why did you make this so cruel?'#'Why was the last thing you ever did to me such a horrible command as a leader?'#'And why did I obey your orders until the bitter bitter end?'#'How could you turn my defiance into a new kind of cruel obediance? Did I not suffer ENOUGH for you?'#'And now there is no head to bury with your body. I am cursed with the last memory of your face. I alone will know how you looked at me'#'That the last expression on your face wasn't pain or confusion or realization.'#'It was all fury. For me.'#OF COURSE tho I will continue to make funny rock jokes until the day I die lmaoo#Duality of Bones#Hmm maybe when I get to this in BB!TNP I'll be quick and objective about it and save the Misty Emotions for like...#I miss how the field guides used to have stories told in 1st person.#It would be fun to have a BB!Mistystar Speaks#Because I do LOVE writing Misty's verbose and philosophical speeches.#As you can see from the tags lmao#BB!Mistystar#Better bones au
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I was thinking about the weirdness of LaCE and the whole sex=soul-marriage thing again (as you do) and a thought struck me:
what if the way it works in cases of assault (or is believed to work by the elves; in this case it doesn't matter if it's actually what happens of just what they think) is that you don't end up with a full-on bond, no, but you do get bits of connection, like hooks stuck in your soul from the other person(s)?
And—if we run with the worst interpretation of the Celebrían situation—what if that's what motivates Elladan and Elrohir to be so determined to hunt down every single orc in Middle-earth?
If Celebrían left because she couldn't bear the feeling or thought or those orc-hooks in her soul (or the ptsd flashbacks and trauma that made it easy to assume the stories were true, and that's what was happening to cause her misery) and hoped that crossing the Sundering Sea would cut them off, or at least blunt them and let the scars heal...
Well, the twins know that you can't really sail back, of course they do. They know!
But Glorfindel did. And a whole host of elves came once, during the War of Wrath. So it's not that nobody has, ever. (They can look up and see their grandfather sailing in the sky every night, out of the Undying Lands. Maybe somebody could hitch a ride...?)
If they can make Middle-earth safe for her again...well, maybe she won't come home. But at least then she could, if a chance ever came to leave and cross the Sea again. She could.
And even if she doesn't, at least when they Sail*, they can tell her that they slew her nightmares, finally.
And maybe that will be enough.
#*i think the twins almost inevitably do eventually#probably not until arwen dies#(or maybe shortly before; maybe she tells them to leave towards the end because she doesn't want them to see; wants to put on a brave face)#but i think they do go: because what over here would make them stay and choose the doom of men?#all the mortals they've known and loved have died or soon will (including their sister)#while all their elvish friends and their parents and all the family they never met are over there#including the mom they couldn't save but can at least see again now#(which isn't to say i dislike or object to stories where they take elros's choice; i enjoy those too)#(i just operate under the assumption that they sail eventually in my stuff so that's the premise that i'm writing this idea under)#(others are of course free to run the other way with it)#(maybe they DON'T sail. maybe they stay...but send a letter with legolas and gimli to tell what they did for her; that they still love her)#(etc)#celebrian#elladan#elrohir#laws and customs of the eldar#rape mention#lotr#lotr headcanons#my stuff#my writing
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sometimes a family is you, your girlfriend, her husband who's also your boyfriend, your mutual son and his electric rat, a mr. mime, and a baby
#delia ketchum#professor burnet#professor kukui#anipoke#pokeani#pokemon sumo#millidrew#art#my post#imagine the profs in i <3 milfs shirt thanks#probably a long multi-year slow burn that's also a very fast burn#bc they co-parent as friends for years. they're just known as ash's parents/family#kukui and burnet are madly in love and everyone knows it so they wouldn't consider the idea of there being someone else for a long time#delia wouldn't want to leave her restaurant in pallet and obvs the profs are staying in alola for their work so there's physical distance#so they call a lot until they get closer and closer until their lives aren't just connected by their love of ash#but also their relationships with each other <3#like i imagine they'd call for baby advice abt lei forgetting its like 4am in kanto LMAO and delia reminiscences on raising ash#as a single teen mom w/ no support. and maybe they surprise her by visiting!!!#i don't know how long it'd take for her to see lei in person tho... i think delia would have to go to alola#and ofc delia has feelings about ash and his second family and them seeing him more than she sees him at first#but it works out in the end because she's still a part of it <3 and bc ash is like her and neither dwell on feelings for too long#they're too whimsical#ash is just happy his mom's happy. and naturally they're both oblivious to the romantic aspects AKSDKMA#this isn't inherently romantic but it's about family...intimacy...love that creeps up on you but feels totally natural...#also i think they should kiss
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Thinking about Lestat seeing Louis’s eating patterns as a waste of his gift/himself while Armand gives Louis food that he literally can not enjoy or digest just so he has something on his stomach
#if i had to give each of louis relationship a theme loustat would be shame and loumand would be enabling#which are both really bad ways of “helping” a partner with an ed#lestats shame and anger tactics only make louis more resentful and less likely to eat#while armand having the little drinks and exotic animals and the human food dont actually deal with louis problem head on-#cus at the end of the day louis is still not eating enough#and i think they really exemplifies both of their trauma and abandonment issues#both of them came up chronically food insecure#lestat was put into the role of provider at a very early age and stayed in that role until he died/was turned#so for him rejecting what lestat gives is like rejecting lestat cus he doesnt have anything else to make him “useful”#and lestats reaction to rejection is anger and control so he tries to shame and control louis into eating more/human#while armand has been abandoned by literally everyone he loves up till this point so for him its like#ok i can make people dtay if i give them what they want and what louis wants is to not feel bad about eating and so armand does that#but it still doesnt get to the root of the issue which is louis having poor coping mechanisms for his grief and other emotions#like either way you slice it. louis is not meeting his nutritional needs. he eats drinks from one guy eats a fox or some other small animal#when he should be having like two dudes at least#and then he has human food which according to anne rice makes vampires vomit up their whole stomach content so...#louis imma send you to my therapist shes great#interview with the vampire#iwtv#louis de pointe du lac#amc iwtv#lestat de lioncourt#ldpdl#iwtv 2022#armand iwtv#armand#loumand#loustat#like armand gives louis food he cant eat just so he knows theres something in louis stomach even for a short while
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Anyone here ever watch Fairy Tail? Cause I fucking love Fairy Tail. It was my childhood, my first anime and it grew up with me.
It had the sexualization of the women, I won't deny that. But there's also the fact that every main character got their own arc, which was individual and unique to them, including the female characters.
We have fucking Erza Scarlet, who i thought was so cool and pretty. She was a badass and still so very feminine and I loved her. Lucy, who's relationship with her dad now makes me cry cause fucking hell. I used to tie my hair to look like her. We had Wendy, who was just so. damn. cute. And she really got an arc where she nearly died but saved herself!! There are so many arcs for the women, that are on par with the men's arcs.
And the best part? It was so centered around found family. There were ships implied, yeah, but the focus was also consistently on the guild's bond, and the individual friendships in them. They had each other, and that's what they established over and over again. They would to no end to guarantee the safety of the guild.
They didn't fully redeem any of their villain too! Nearly every single one went on to atone for their crimes. Nearly every single one, did this of their own volition. They hurt people, and the story doesn't forget that. (Laxus, Jellal, Meredy, Ultear are the major ones, I believe)
And the blood bonds are no joke either. We have Lucy and her Father. We have Erza and her mother. We have fucking August and both his parents.
Is Fairy Tail a perfect story? Definitely not, there are a lot of flaws in the show that I can admit. But it was a show about friendship and found family. It showed me people who cared about each other deeply, even when it wasn't romantic.
#i was feeling nostalgic#i watched this when i was 6 and stayed until the end#having an abusive family and seeing a found family gave me hope that i so desperately needed#i remember the main song like its the back of my palm#👆#and the symbol i drew on my hand every other day...#i wanted to be in fairy tail so bad#fairy tail
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Beat Veilguard. I cried so much my head hurts . I know it’s not a perfect game but tbh it was perfect enough for me ❤️
#yes I stayed up with my wife until 4 am where we both sobbed#I got the best ending and am a WRECK#loved the solavellan ending tbh. my city now#all my spoilery thoughts will be under a readmore and tagged!! I’ll be a lot more chatty about it by next week#just bc it’s a miracle I didn’t get spoiled with how long it took me to beat it#and I want everyone to enjoy it!#prawn posts
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oh daniel's interview to viaplay... hes 90% out of f1 by austin
#f1#singapore gp 2024#formula 1#daniel ricciardo#nicole shut up#not like this.... i want him to at least stay until the end of the year#but ig rbr are looking at new talent#daniel my first love <3333#daniel may leave by the end of the season but that cant take away from the cracker of a career hes had especially in rbr
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