#i want to stay true to who i am and who i want to be

[blackmoonoracle]

What are you known for?

General, work, & social media rep 🫶🏻👻

pile i

Your GENERAL reputation is definitely very spiritual hahaa I was listening to the song I channeled for this pile which is Pyro by Denzel curry and right as I was typing that first sentence he said "i am the oracle i been known what's in store for you" Perhaps y'all make a lot of predictions or estimations that end up coming true. You could be a psychic or a reader of some kind- I sense Virgo and Pisces energy here. Most people do find you to be pretty fair- but others find you to be immature and aggressive or egotistical.

I feel like you're lowkey a bit chaotic- a lot of people see you as a wise feminine energy or a woman who has many secrets or knows many secrets. You could be known for being fairly nonchalant- like you may have dissenting people or opinions or haters and you genuinely are either unaware of them or don't give enough of a fuck to give it time.

You stay in your lane and focus on building yourself up, you could be very detached from distractions. work:

You could be seen as someone with a lot of room to succeed in your career, you could be very informed- very methodical or very logical. You're steady and thorough in your approach and you are very engaged in ensuring that things are managed accurately and properly. People could be eyeing you for a promotion of some kind- I see that you may be known for solving conflict or for calming conflict. Like you're capable of quelling the discordance in other people. You could work customer service, be a team lead, assistant manager, shift leader, etc- Whatever you do you're definitely trailblazing and I love that for you. I'm getting a message that your boss doesn't give out a lot of compliments but he does notice your work. He may compliment you or give you some kind of notice soon regarding the quality of your work. If he seems hard it is because he sees your room for improvement. You may be very proud of your work, and you may also be a bit disorganized- even in spite of that disorganization they do feel that you have a special skill or talent. I keep hearing "quality" I feel like you're being considered for something or by someone. Disregard negativity from others at work, and ignore gossip. People can say and do whatever they want, but it's not your business or problem if they want to be miserable.

social media:

There are like varying reputations that you have online- I assume this is based on the experiences people have had with you ofc. In the center of the spread is the Emperor- so you are definitely seen as either an authority, perhaps you're older or you sit powerfully in your position.

Diet by Denzel curry is playing. I feel like a lot of y'all are very authentic, you stand in your square and you may not really care how people feel about you. Some people could see you as destitute, lacking, immature, and having a large dream- or they could see you as someone who in spite of having a difficult past you've gone on a journey to achieve your dreams. It feels like probably both lol. People could find you moody or erratic online, others also see you as being very secure, happy, thriving, and feel that your judgments are very positive, accurate, or helpful. Some people could see you as fake, or see you as private. Like you don't deal with groups of people, a lot of you may be quick to remove yourself from group scenarios in general. You could be very passionate, intelligent, witty, and loving. You definitely like a good verbal spar, and can sometimes be a bit TOO aggressive.

pile ii

your GENERAL reputation could be tied to a romantic connection or a friendship that you walked away from or broke off- Sooo perhaps this happened recently or it was a massive breaking of connection that has still remained part of your reputation. You're viewed as fairly balanced and understanding, you give people a lot of chances but aren't overly compassionate in your expression. You're probably an air sign LMFAO, I see that you may also be known for your kindness or generosity or for the fact others are highly generous towards you. Someone could be a streamer? I see here that you also are known for your ability to create your desires as you go, like you really just charge after what you want and bring it to yourself fairly quickly lol.

work:

You could be a manager or a boss- or you could have an opinion that matters at work. I feel like you're the person people bring irate customers to, and you do NOT play. You definitely stand up for people no matter if the customer or coworker is in the wrong. You are very honest & truthful even if it's an unpopular opinion, you could also be someone who is known to get to the bottom of issues. You gather Intel easily and you've definitely got a few tricks up your sleeve socially. Some could see you as manipulative or self serving, they could feel like your kind demeanor is fake and only used so that you can gather more information. Which isn't entirely untrue- but it also isn't because you're looking to fuck people over, you're just practical. You like things to be fair, truthful, balanced, and you may like to run a tight ship. Or perhaps your boss runs a tight ship and YOU stand up against your boss when others won't. Other co-workers could see you as reliable because you will speak up with others are scared or when they don't know what to say.

social media:

You could have a friend group you post with a lot? I see people viewing you as paranoid, disinterested, detached, and maybe going through something difficult? People could feel like you don't find love or happiness to be unattainable. "a negative phase" I feel like other people could find that you post about your shortcomings or unhappiness frequently. You could also be very aggressive or defensive, you could be very jittery, and very bored or displeased. You could also be known for being very connected with your family and defensive with your family. Or your family could somehow be known or popular on social media? Even if it isn't fame it could be like Facebook for example haha. You could be very funny, witty, or charming- maybe you are always onto the next thing or next trend.

pile iii

your GENERAL reputation could be that you're REALLY attractive- maybe that you spend a lot of money on your looks? Some people could know you for having plastic surgery, Botox, filler, etc? Some people could speak about you or talk about you editing photos or not looking the same irl? People could also say that you only really focus on your physical appearance online. BTW IM NOT HATING, this is just what people think/how they view you. You're seen as very pretty, and very abundant. You could make spicy content or post nsfw, some people could feel like you will take their significant other from them. People feel that you don't post your struggles online, and that you're very private. You could be prideful, or you could have a very solid image. Even if there are hardships or difficulties you've experienced, you definitely keep it pushing and always succeed. People could see you as very dreamy, relaxed, and maybe low energy. Some of you could have chronic illness or fatigue. Those who know you know that you are very private & very low key.

Work:

In times of trouble or need you will absolutely get shit done, you don't let anxiety or fear keep you from getting to the bag or finding a solution. People feel safe and protected by you at work, like they know you will defend them behind their back or that even if you don't like them you won't leave them hanging. You're a true leader behind the scenes though, this is giving virgo energy. You don't want to be at the forefront, you like to manage the intracacies and details. You do the dirty work a lot of the time. People at work could feel like you prefer to be alone, and that you could even be a bit of an anxious person or an overthinker. You could also be known for crashing out or have a reputation for a particular time you lost your temper. You are not afraid to rain hell when people are doing shit they shouldn't be doing. You like to keep the peace and make sure everyone is well taken care of but you require for them to do their part otherwise you will absolutely NOT go easy on them. You could be a bubble burster, you could also sometimes be unnecessarily petty in some people's eyes at times.

Social Media:

You could be seen as having a darker aesthetic, you may also post taboo things or misleading things. Very trickster energy, like you almost enjoy throwing people off. You have VERY good taste, and you post small crumbs of it. You have a very esoteric or ethereal vibe to people online, idk why I'm channeling mitski haha. You could also be someone who's cutting edge with trends. People could see you as very devoted to your partner or lover, they could also see you as someone who is a hard worker and holds on through difficult times. You may be very witty, timeless, and fiery at times. You definitely have a veryyy unique and likeable vibe. It feels like you're very well liked on social media, and that people look forward to your posts. You're iconic, your socials could be very pristine and well put together. The aesthetic could be very consistent or meshes well with your personality. You could treat your social media like an art piece, very particular with how you curate everything.

[nebulablakemurphy]

Capitol Loss

Summary: Set in the Moves & Countermoves Universe. Years after the rebellion, Y/N and Haymitch’s son is off to study in the Capitol, where he discovers the true cost of being a victor. Discussions of trauma and forced prostitution, proceed with caution.

“My name is Everest Abernathy, born and raised in the Victors’ Village of district twelve. Everyone says I look like my dad…I don’t really see it though.”

The joke lands as it always does, with genuine laughter and whispers. His classmates know he’s Haymitch’s son, even without the introduction. He doesn’t mind of course, he loves his dad, but people always kind of expect him to behave like his father too.

“Alright, fine.” Everest holds up his hands, “you caught me, I was born in the Capitol. But I was raised in Victors’ Village.”

Growing up, when the cameras would come, that was the gig. People would eat it up. And Everest would indulge them. It wasn’t until long after the rebellion that Everest had the freedom to discover who he was.

His parents, ever supportive, were more than willing to help their firstborn child pack up and board a train to a place that had never been kind to them. Because they love him that much. And that love is not lost on him.

When the professor asks him to stay after class, Everest is more than happy to. But he needs to make one thing clear.

“I don’t want any special treatment or anything. I’m here to learn. Panem is still rebuilding itself, I want to do my part.”

“Of course, my boy. I think it’s incredibly brave of you to be here. Away from your family for the very first time, driven by a sense of justice! Your parents must be so proud.”

“They would’ve been just as proud if I stayed in twelve to trade in the square.” His parents were always proud of him. As though he and his siblings were some sort of miracle, created by their love for each other. And they are still disgustingly in love. “But I think it’s our duty now, to make sure we continue moving forward and never back.”

The professor nods, “I do hope that our unit covering the lives of victors, leading up to the uprising, is a solid representation of all you endured during childhood.”

Endured? His childhood was a great many things, but by no stretch of the imagination was it something he had to ‘endure.’ Everest clears his throat, “I mean yeah, it was weird. Growing up with cameras in my face and a bunch of strangers in crazy outfits who would scream and burst into tears at the sight of me. But I think, my mom especially, would do little things to make sure that me and Arista were never scared. Not to say my dad didn’t, I think he was just trying to keep us alive, more or less.” He shrugs.

“It sounds like you have a very good head on your shoulders. After all, you are right around the age your mother was when she married your father.”

Everest’s jaw clenches, he knows his mother is younger than his father. Everyone does. “Love makes us do the darnedest things.”

“That was always interesting to me, the way trauma could create such strong affection.” The professor nods. “But I suppose between the arrangement of marriage to spare her from the Capitol, only to be forced to exploit themselves again and again…”

What?

“That would bond two people together in a way we’ll never be able to understand.”

Everest nods, skin crawling, imploring the man to continue.

It’s not until the professor presents his parent’s wedding portrait that the contents of Everest’s stomach empty themselves onto the floor. This image does not reside on the walls of his childhood home, where his father has them all hung proudly.

My mom, no older than I am now.

My mom, held so tightly to my father’s side it must have hurt.

My mom, smiling her best Capitol smile.

And my dad…protecting the only living person he loved.

————————————————————————

There is a knock at Everest’s door sometime later. Hours, maybe days. He can’t bring himself to answer it. “Go away!”

“No can do, I made a promise to your parents.”

Not Cashmere or Finnick, maybe he’s safe.

“Look, my parents made a lotta deals with a lotta people. You are not special, I promise.”

“Professor Smith said you asked him not to contact your parents. But as you’ve missed two straight days of class, I’m legally required to.”

Everest groans, rising to his feet and swinging open the door. “What do you want, Heavensbee?”

“To talk to you.” Plutarch explains. “Give you a chance to vent.”

“You’re Capitol, why do you care?” You let it happen.

“When I met your dad he was only a couple years younger than you are now.”

“And let me guess, I look just like him?” The boy scoffs.

“Yes and no,” Plutarch smiles. “I see your mom.”

“If you’re looking for an in, you won’t find one.”

“The first time I met Y/N, she told me she didn’t give a shit about winning the game, because she wanted to break the board.” Plutarch explains, “you’re a lot alike in that way.”

“Alright,” I’ll bite. Everest opens the door wide enough for the older man to enter, closing it behind them. “If you’re the expert, why don’t you explain what happened?”

“They couldn’t just let the boy who almost broke the board marry the girl who wanted to break it, and live happily ever after.” Plutarch lifts a shoulder, “Snow had to beat it out of them somehow.”

“How?”

“Started with Haymitch, took out his family, including his girlfriend back home, left him with nothing. He started drinking to cope.”

“I know that.” Everest swallows.

“During Y/N’s post games interview she suggested that the hunger games were unnecessary and should stop.”

“I know that too.”

“Haymitch made a deal with President Snow to keep the same thing from happening to Y/N. Did you know that?” Plutarch arches a brow.

“What kind of deal?” Everest demands.

“Some of the victors would be sold to higher ups in the Capitol. Haymitch agreed, in exchange for your mother’s safety and her family’s.”

“Why did he have to marry her?” That’s the part that doesn’t make sense.

“As you said, your parents made a lot of deals, this one protected her from being sold directly to anyone. Marriage between victors is relatively uncommon, there was curiosity. I have no idea the exact numbers, but I do know that their footage was the highest grossing victor profit ever made.”

“How many victors did he sell?”

“Again, I don’t know the exact number. That was far from my department; but to answer your question, too many.”

Again, his stomach churns. “So me and Arista were just accidents?”

“Have you ever heard the idle hands theory?”

“What the fuck is that?” Everest demands, pacing in the space between his bed and desk.

“Easy,” Plutarch holds up his hands, “if this is too much for you-”

“Sorry,” Everest runs a hand over his face, “I’m sorry.” To go from knowing nothing, to knowing everything... “Please, continue.”

“A child would occupy their time and their minds. Serve as a means to make them more complicit. You were their pride and joy. You were the Capitol’s too.”

Everest sucks in a breath.

“You got a little older, idle hands need filling.”

“Arista.” Everest whispers.

“A ‘little Y/N’ to solve all of Snow’s problems.” Plutarch smirks, “if I didn’t know any better I’d think he was…content with your parents, for a time.”

“Why Daisy?” Their hands were full.

Plutarch hangs his head. “You were ten, going on eleven. Close to reaping age and there was a Quarter Quell right around the corner, pair that with Peeta and Katniss’ stunt with the berries and-”

“They were gonna run.” It makes sense, in all its horrible entirety.

“Everyone knew it. Especially Snow.” Plutarch confirms. “Fastest way to ground a flight risk is to cut their wings.”

Is that why my dad calls her an angel?

“That’s the hard stuff and the most important.” Plutarch assures him, “I don’t expect us to be friends now, Everest. But if you’re going to learn the truth about your parent’s lives here, I’d rather it be from someone who cares about them. Not some stranger who knows them as pages in a book.”

“Are you gonna tell them?” Everest wonders, “my parents?”

“No,” Plutarch shakes his head, “that’s your conversation to have not mine.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t want to take anything else from you.” The Abernathys have given enough.

————————————————————————

Weeks pass and while Everest hasn’t been accepting any calls, there is one person he doesn’t have the heart to ignore.

He hits the button, sluggishly. “Hey, Arista.”

“Hey, how are you?”

“I’m good.” Everest lies.

“Hang on, let me get mom and dad.”

“Arista, wait.” Everest protests, “how are they?”

“Mom and dad?” Arista lifts a brow, “they’re mom and dad.”

“Dad’s feeling better?”

“Yeah.” The girl whispers, “his liver’s pretty beat up though. They’re discussing options with a doctor in the Capitol, but don’t tell them I told you that.”

“They told you and not me?” Everest scoffs.

“They didn’t tell me anything, you know how they are.” Arista says, “I overheard them talking about leaving us with Aunt Madge for a couple weeks for the treatment.”

“How are Daisy and Auggie?”

“August has been giving everyone a run for their money, now that Daisy’s mellowed out.”

“That’s good.”

“You sound upset.” Arista sighs.

“It’s just….school’s been a lot.”

“Come home then, loser.” Arista laughs, “we miss you.”

Does he want to go home? Can he? “First semester ends in a week, I’ll come home for break.”

“Cool,” Arista smiles, “see you soon.”

“Tell everyone I said hi and that I love them.”

“Will do.”

“Love you, Arista.”

“Love you too.” Arista ends the call, flopping back into the couch and glaring up at the ceiling.

Everest is the only one of her siblings to understand what it was to be doted on by the Capitol, like a prized show horse. He never lies to her, never hides anything from her. If he’s lying now…it must be something awful.

“Who was that?” Y/N asks, popping her head around the corner.

“Just Everest,” Arista huffs. “He’s coming home for semester break.”

Y/N nods, “that’s great.”

“I think he must be homesick or something. But he said hi and that he loves you.”

At this her mother smiles, “do you want to help with dinner? We’re making a roast.”

“I guess.” Arista pulls herself to her feet. “Give me a minute to wash up.”

Haymitch clicks his tongue at her. “Don’t tell me you’re turning into a teenager.”

“I’ve been a teenager, Dad.”

Haymitch clutches his heart, “she stabbed me.”

Y/N chuckles, pressing her lips to his. “You’ll live.”

Arista rolls her eyes. “Stop making out or I won’t help you.”

————————————————————————

When Cashmere gets a call from Plutarch, who she hasn’t spoken to in years, she knows that something is amiss. She’s right of course. One of Everest’s teachers ran his mouth about the Capitol’s deep dark secret. Their love of exploiting victors.

“Did you call his parents?” Cashmere exhales.

“He’s asked us not to.”

“Well,” Cashmere hesitates. “Have you seen him? How upset is he?”

“He’s holed up in his room, attending classes remotely.” Plutarch tells her. “I was able to speak with him, but he doesn’t trust me. He needs someone he trusts.”

“Yeah, alright. I’m on it.” Cashmere ends the call, to get reinforcements on the line.

“Hello?” Finnick answers first.

“Hello?” Johanna a second later.

“It’s Cashmere, I need you both on the next train to the Capitol.”

“What’s going on?”

“Everest knows about…what Snow did to us.”

“No.” Finnick breathes, “he knows about Haymitch and Y/N?”

“Yep. I can’t do any sort of damage control, he’s not answering my calls.”

“Alright, let me get dressed and tell Annie. Then I’m out the door.” Finnick says.

“So the plan is to do what exactly? Just show up at his door, give him a pat on the back and say ‘I’m sorry your parents were forced to make porn and have you, that must feel awful. How’d you like to hear what happened to the rest of us?’ Yeah, I can see that going over really well.”

“Johanna,” Finnick sighs.

“You’re right, forget it. Don’t come.” Cashmere decides.

“I’m already halfway out the door, blondie.” Johanna bites back. “I was just hoping to establish a game plan. Poor kid just lost the illusion of his perfect life, and if we don’t tell Y/N she will kill us.”

“Then she’ll have to kill us,” Finnick decides. “She put us on call for Everest while he’s in the Capitol, Plutarch says he’s not ready to talk to Y/N. It’s not our position to pry or overshare. It’s not our position to even tell her.”

“Or Haymitch.” Cashmere tacks on, in case Johanna was planning to be sneaky.

“All I’m saying is…if it were me, I’d want my mom and dad. Not a bunch of other people.”

“We’re family, Johanna.” Finnick reminds her, “when something like this happens, you want your family.”

Johanna bites her tongue, they are her family. The people who took her in and loved her, while she clawed and bit at their outstretched hands. “I still think someone should tell her.” But…not my circus, not my monkeys.

[dammit-tazmuir]

Guess who's working on a project... May update these a bit more, and MANY more to come later!

Few concepts under the cut and while I have several ideas already I am potentially open to suggestion!

I'm imagining basically the same story but ponies. Necromancy is a type of magic and all ponies have some kind of magic; as such, unicorns make stronger, more versatile necromancers, but not all necromancers are unicorns and vice versa. (Lyctors are alicorns.)

They will all have Pony Names, I just haven't decided on all of them quite yet. Open to suggestionnnnns.

Note that while I push boundaries in some places, like gendered traits or Gideon's markings, my goal is generally to make pony designs that would fit within Gen 4 canon, because I actively enjoy working within such tight constraints and trying to pack as much information as I can into very few options. ---THIRD---

I will probably redo Babs' cutie mark, I'm just not fully sure as what yet. Swords might end up being a symbol for cavalierhood despite not literally being used, but still debating. Also still working on his name but "Riposte" might be part? ("Babs" is also canonically used pony name and will probably stay his nickname lmao.)

Ianthe's name is Solar Flare, or rather, she's changed it slightly to Solar Flair, to match Corona and slightly downplay herself. ("Solar Flare" follows the naming convention for super extra magical wizard unicorns, i.e. Twilight Sparkle/etc.) Babs sometimes calls her Solar Glare.

Corona's is Moonstruck Flair and she also goes by Moony. Earth Pony necromancers do exist, but the type of magic Ianthe does needs to match what Corona would be doing.

Moony is still in many ways bright and sunny, and Solar still pale and preferring the shadows, so their marks partly reflect their devotion for each other. But it's also Solar's sheer strength of magic, as well as eight spokes foreshadowing the Eighth Saint, and Moony's dazzling nature and ability to both captivate people and be a light in the darkness by playing diplomat or boosting morale, and, you know. Corona actually reflecting Ianthe's light rather than having any of her own.

Both marks have hearts in them, Solar's upside down. ---NINTH---

Harrow's mark isn't just a skull, but a bunch of hearts. She got it the first time she saw The Body. :3 She will insist you're seeing things but secretly treasures the evidence that her love and devotion are true and powerful.

I'm thinking something with "Nocturn" for her name, since it's both night-related and church-related.

Gideon got her stupid mismatched sock markings and her stupid too-bright oranges and her gaudy tricolor hair. Her markings definitely don't hold any secrets or hints whatsoever of course.

Her tail was initially just me wanting a short and practical style but different than Harrow's and a Little Bit Special for a Protagonist, so I figured this would give me all that and also let me give her a "Careful, I kick!" red ribbon hehe. At the time I hadn't planned on more than one mane/tail color so I didn't realize until I was lining my sketch that— Oh. Oh it can also read as a lit fuse on a BOMB lmaooo. Which did ofc later inspire the tricolor too.

:3 I know what her Cutie Mark is going to be, she just doesn't have it yet. To start, she's an adult blankflank, and everyone has told her her entire life to stop expecting to find any purpose because clearly she doesn't have one, she's lucky to be of any use to anyone. Of course she has to wear a big dark cloak around Canaan partly to hide her inadequacy.

[rocco-ko]

Oh, Xie Lian, my precious little prince... You are just like me 🥲 (or sharing some moments from the book that made me a little bit too emotional)

1. “Xie Lian had always believed in „forever” — friends would always be friends forever, with no betrayal, no deception, no breaking up. Perhaps there would come a time when they had to part, but it wouldn’t be for a reason like „things got too horrible.””

2. “In all stories he’d read, the hero and the beauty were a match made in heaven. They never parted and would remain true to each other forever and ever — and if they couldn’t, it would be because they were forced apart by a tragic death and not because the hero preferred to eat meat while the beauty preferred fish, or because the hero scorned the beauty for spending too lavishly and the beauty scorned the hero for his bad habits”

3. “When he was younger, he disliked separation by nature, and it didn’t matter what if was – as long as the objects were placed together, Xie Lian would refuse to separate them. So whatever it was he built, he’d forbid anyone to touch it, and he always wished desperately that he could glue the fragile sheets together so that it’d never collapse.”

4. “Not only had the people stopped believing in him, even he could no longer believe in himself.”

5. “…right then he really wanted to be 10 years old again and run into his mother’s embrace to cry to his heart’s content.”

6. “Whether he was suffering or not, only he knew deep down”

7. “Xie Lian didn’t want to answer with „I’ll do my best”, or „I’ll try”, anymore. His sight was going dark, and he replied, „I’m sorry. I don’t.””

8. “…I may not be a saint, but I still know a faithful heart. If I did not love someone, I would never cross any such lines with them. If I did, I would never allow that person to suffer any speck of grief, even if I had to beg and collect scraps, or busk and perform on the streets to support my family.”

9. “If I am to become a God of Misfortune, then so be it. As long as I know deep down that I am not.”

10. “I choose to believe in the person who gave this to me and I’ve decided to keep wearing it”

11. “You… come back here first. Come back here and I won’t be scared.”

12. “It’s been so long since anyone listened to me talk. Won’t you stay?”

13. And the last blow. “He was clearly a god of heaven but in that moment a feeble voice cried out at the bottom of his heart… Save me —“

14. I want to finish this with something hopeful. “Rather than remembering how I was butchered and trampled hundreds of years ago, I’d prefer to remember that I ate a delicious meat bun, yesterday, no?”

[spotlightlover]

Y'know w the end of lin ling's pov soon and the start of e-soul's arc after that, I kinda have been thinking more about what "zero" is

and zero for sure is this guy from e-soul's pv:

(who is probably also the guy in the opening that shows up really briefly btwn two shots of X that everyone notices at some point and goes what the fuck is that thing:)

(i'm also pretty sure these are the same guy but what's up with the ears?? horns??)

and he was at least a former hero who turned evil and had to be taken down by E-Soul (which is REALLY simplifying whatever the hell happened in the E-Soul PV, there is so much going on BUT this part is at least true)

and we don't really get many other mentions of zero outside of here but there is one mention in the heroes exist to protect trailer (@ ~0:57, said by Dragon Boy) that indicates that zero is something you could Become.

Personally, I'm still conflicted if "becoming Zero" is more like how Lin Ling became Nice (public perception literally turns you into Zero) or more like becoming X (Zero is a title that you can obtain), but it's still interesting that it's something you could become instead of just being that one guy.

(And then of course, that begs the question of if Zero is a title or role you can become like X, then what exactly does it do/represent in this hero system? The Zero back then is definitely a hero, but considering what he did, I couldn't really see the identity of Zero still being considered heroic. So it's probably more of a villainous role in the present? Dragon Boy does seem like an anti-hero to me at times, so I wonder if he wants the strength of being Zero but with good motivations? Disclaimer that I don't really think much about Dragon Boy, so these are just kinda ramblings. Well, okay, all of this is ramblings lmao but this is MORE rambly in comparison.)

(There's also currently no direct connection between Zero and X other than the opening, but it's kinda interesting to think about how the ideas of Zero and X could contrast each other. Like taking a step back from the in-universe dynamics for a minute, if X is meant to be "anything" then could Zero be "nothing"? What does it mean to be "nothing" in this whole system? Does it just means nobody trusts you??? God yeah you would be crazy powerful with fear if Nobody trusted you at all huh.

Though if you asked me outside of tbhx the symbolism of the number zero, I always feel that in general, zero in a way is a number that can go anywhere and thus in a way could also become "anything". But zero must change to do so. X can change but X is still X, but if zero were to change, it doesn't stay as zero. I don't think that's where the show is going because zero as "nothing" seems more common. But I am in fact a little annoying about zero symbolism in general so. I'm putting this here.)

anyways uh 👍can't wait to meet zero (the E-Soul guy)

[littlevenicebiatch]

Just friends...

Simon and f reader are just friends, friends who hook up

You hadnet been looking for a relationship when you started working at a bar, and neither had Simon when he just wanted to get a few drinks after work. But then the two of them met, and their expectations of the night changed. Now, six months later they hooked up regularly.

The only problem was, that Simon didnt do relationships, but you really wanted commitment. You wanted the whole thing, love, affection and sex. The sex with Simon was great, it really was, but he lacked the rest.

So you had decided to stop hooking up with him, to stay friends. At the moment you were serving drinks to a handsome young man, one who kept flirting with you. You enjoyed the attention, a lot. "So, you got a secret boyfriend or something?" The guy asked, winking. You were about to answer, when you heard a deep voice behind you. "She does, now leave unless you want to never return to your mothers basement."

The man quickly left, clearlyy afraid. You turned around and sighed, there was Simon, he stood there, his off-duty weapon on his hip and his arms crossed in front of his chest.

"What the hell was that?" You asked angrily, but Simon only shrugged. "Just telling that bastard the truth."

"But I dont have a boyfriend." "Yeah you do, me." He said it so easily, as if it were true. "No, you were never my boyfriend, and besides, we stopped.. having sex a while ago."

Simon chuckled lowly. "Right, you wanted to have a boyfriend, so I am your boyfriend, its as simple as that."

You tilted your head to the side curiously. "I thought you didnt do relationships." "I didnt, but then I met you."

You smiled now. "Really? so you are my boyfriend now?" "Yes." "You will take me on dates?" "Yes." "You will pet my cat from now on?" he laughed. "Yes." "You will love me?"' "Already do."

And you goota know, that night your boyfriend fucked you good.

[acidgreendog]

A Kaz Playlist

Exploring that untouched ground between when Kaz discovers he's been used and left out of BB's plans and when he finally settles as Master Miller, I've been thinking a lot about that anger and betrayal he must have felt to get him to walk away from everything he had been building. The personal anger he felt against BB himself was my main focus for a lot of these songs, as well as the feelings of turning his back on him in retaliation. I'm also enjoying thinking about how that bitterness and anger would spiral into a cycle of abuse that may have got taken out on his students, especially david snake, later down the line. This is basically like the world's edgiest break up playlist.

Genres: industrial metal, nu-metal, hard rock, grunge, alt rock.

Run time: 1hr 32 mins

Thumbnail art (by me)

Tracklist

(to be played in no particular order) and lyrics excerpts to show a little bit of why I picked each song:

The Big Come Down -Nine Inch Nails

"the big come down, isn't that what you wanted? // find a place with the failed and forgotten"

Twenty Four Hours -The Twilight Sad (cover)

"just for one moment, thought I'd found my way // destiny unfolded, watched it slip away"

Last Time -Fuel

"this is the last time now // I'll bleed for you"

Change My Mind -Puddle Of Mud

"how could I ever believe anything you've ever said? // I'm on the bottom of your shoes, a little piece, a piece of shit"

A New Way To Bleed -Evanescence

"but it's my // my heart // my life // that you're calling a lie // I've played this game before // and I can't take anymore"

The Line Begins To Blur -Nine Inch Nails

"there are things that I said I would never do // there are fears that I cannot believe have come true"

Hangnail -Nickleback

"my hopes just fell // and I can't see // the reason why // why there is blood on my sleeve // and all this time, I thought it mine // but it's not, it's yours"

Mudshovel -Staind

"all the promises you made to me you made in vain"

Made Of Stone -Evanescence

"I'll numb the pain 'till I am made to // tear out my heart for the way it makes me feel // I will still remember when you've long forgotten me"

September Rain -Cassyette

"my pain clouding my brain // I pray I will find me again"

Somewhat Damaged -Nine Inch Nails

"how could I ever think, it's funny how // everything you swore would never change is different now"

Somebody Someone -Korn

"I can't stand to let you win // I'm just watching you // and I don't know what to do // feeling like a fool inside"

Point #1 -Chevelle

"rebuke, don't choke on this twisted dream"

Home -Staind

"I can't accept this all // because of you I've had to walk away from everything"

Massive -Linkin Park

"I heard the screaming in my dreaming every night // I awake and I'm still mistaking you for right"

You Walk Away -Filter

"I can't live hate // I just won't hate // I just want a life of my own"

Thoughtless -Korn

"all my hate cannot be found // I will not be drowned // by your thoughtless scheming"

Wish -Nine Inch Nails

"I built it up, now I take it apart // climbed up real high, now fall down real far// no need for me to stay"

Alone I Break -Korn

"Now I see the times they change // leaving doesn't seem so strange // I am hoping I can find // where to leave my hurt behind"

Head Like A Hole -Nine Inch Nails

"head like a hole // black as your soul // I'd rather die than give you control"

And One (Hybrid Theory EP) -Linkin Park

"angers a gift, then I guess I've been blessed"

Prison Sex -Tool

"do unto you now, what has been done to me // do unto you now, what has been done" -not necessarily to be taken at the face value the song communicates, more so about a cycle of abuse among male power dynamics

Blue Monday - Orgy (cover)

"how does it feel, to treat me like you do? // When you've laid your hands upon me // and told me who you are"

[gimgerrat]

Ok, so I'm a little late to the analysis party for Ave mujica, but I really need to ramble about one of my favorite characters. Nyamu in my opinion has some of the best writing I've seen in a long time, and it makes me a little insane. Which is saying something as we also have characters like Uika and Mutsumi. The funny thing is that Nyamu isn't one of my blorbos I just really love her.

Anyway, Nyamu is a very complex character that has so much to her that it's nearly impossible for me to go over everything. Nyamu as we know her doesn't change all that much over the course of the series, staying relatively true to herself. She's competitive, abrasive, selfish, unagreeable, and goal oriented. These things do not change about her, and that is what makes her so compelling to me. However, what does change is what her goals are and the means/lengths she will go to achieve them.

At first, Nyamu would do anything to achieve her goals, blatantly going against the advice of Sakiko with the unmasking of the band members so she could get clout from the fame. Later on in the series, Nyamu's approach changes, mainly due to Mutsumi/Mortis. She's both insanely jealous of and admire them. She's aware of the advantage that they have in the acting industry due to their connections with their parents and the fact she's "naturally" gifted at acting. Something she wants for herself, yet she declines Minami's recommendation. Nyamu a selfish and self-serving character who would do anything for her goals DECLINES a once in a lifetime offer from someone who has the power to make and break her career. It's everything she could ever hope for, and yet she doesn't jump at the chance like she did before. Why?

It's simply because that she wants to topple the giants herself. There's a proverb that is often used in reference to Nyamu a lot, Trampled wheat grows straighter and taller. Nyamu is the wheat being stepped on by Minami, Mutsumi, and Mortis. She at this point seems to feel like she wants to earn her place on her own. I think that Nyamu seeing Mortis with her connections and "natural" talent being handed to her in her eyes on a silver platter. And she essentially wants to prove that she is better, that she worked so hard to get where she's at, and that she did it on SKILL alone. Nyamu is headstrong like that. Another thing that lead me to this conclusion is when Minami states, "Being around that child all the time makes me feel miserable. A monster" Nyamu later reacts with "I really hate it" when reminiscing on it. This is partially self-loathing and part if Mutsumi/Mortis can achieve that level of acting then it must be possible for her too, and she wants to prove it. She wants to surpass the people who she admires the most. To her, Minami comparing her child to a monster is her saying it's impossible and shows that she's given up on being better, that like her declining the offer, shows that she's as much of a coward as she is but unlike her, she's going to face it.

Now, it wouldn't be a Nyamu analysis without episode 10s confession scene.

This scene is so telling for so many reasons, for one it shows while Minami is scared of her daughter Nyamu is not. "I just can't take my eyes off you," is her, acknowledging Mortis for her skills and talents. Nyamu is acknowledging her own skill level to Mortis' and is basically saying that I am going to reach you one day, but right now I see you.

Another thing I would like to point out is just how softly Nyamu says I love you, it almost feels uncharacteristic of her, but it somehow feels like the most sincere thing she's said yet. Almost like she's dropping her facade, her mask, for a moment just to drive home how serious she is. It's also emblematic to the parallels that they both share. Mitusmi, Mortis, and Nyamu all act/mask as a way to survive. This does not mean they are not true to themselves while masking/acting they are, and are doing so in service to their interests. And just like how Mortis drops the act when Nyamu points it out, unafraid to bare the fangs of her truest self, Nyamu lets her own act slip. Even if it's just for a moment, she feels comfortable or at the very least respects Mortis enough to show her. Nyamu is unafraid just as much as she is scared. This moment feels as sacred as it is curated. Right after she drops the mask, she puts it right back on and continuing the act, and so does Mortis to an extent. They both now can see right through each other. This declaration is saying we are equals, even if the difference between us is still great. Their feelings are laid bare not for an audience to see but just for them.

Anyway, I just really love Nyamu as a character as well as her dynamic with Mutsumi/Mortis. I defentily didn't go over everything about her character as there is a lot more nuance that I either didn't see or can't articulate.

[jjscrybaby]

teenage fantasy masterlist

CHAPTER THREE - the forbidden zone

warnings: language, throwing up, drinking, mentions of guns, cocaine, dealing, talk of sex.

———

One thing you didn’t miss about Sarah Cameron was how early she woke up in the mornings. You enjoyed a lie in, especially during the summer, but every day without fail she’d be waking you up from your slumber; in her defence, it was about eleven am but still.

“This is sweet and all but do I really have to come?” You complained, sipping your iced coffee as you walked down the docks.

“Uh, yes. You’re the one that always goes on about doing more for your community,” Sarah argued.

“Yeah, my community. This has nothing to do with me,” you shrugged.

She was dragging you along with her friends to a beach clean up, volunteering to make the island a better place after Hurricane Agatha. It was sweet, really it was, but the last thing you wanted to do at eleven am was go and clean trash off the sand.

“Don’t say that,” Sarah pouted, shoving at your arm gently. “You’re moving here as soon as we finish college. That was the deal.”

Ever since you were kids you’d had your lives together planned out. College together, roommates of course, you’d marry best friends or you’d marry her brother, you’d move to the Outerbanks and the two of you would share a house on the beach front and everything would be perfect. Nowadays, you weren’t even sure if you’d be able to afford college; not with how your father’s job was going and the money that was slowly making its way out of your college fund.

“Yeah, I am,” you replied, giving her a reassuring smile. You didn’t want to dampen the mood by telling her about what was going on back home, this summer was meant to be a distraction.

Topper was waiting for the two of you at the end of the dock, sunglasses on his face and the worst coloured shorts you’d ever seen. “Hello, ladies!”

“What is he wearing?” You hissed at Sarah, she rolled her eyes at you but you didn’t miss the small amused smirk she tried to hide.

“Hi, babe,” Sarah greeted, accepting his hand to help her step onto the boat. “Where’s Kelce?”

“He’s meeting us there,” Topper replied. He ignored your existence as you got yourself onto the boat; clearly still a little bitter over you exposing him the day prior.

You stayed sat at the back of the boat, smoking a cigarette — ignoring the disgusted looks Topper threw your way — whilst the two of them stood up at the front. His arm wrapped around her waist as he drove the three of you to the beach. You were probably halfway there when another boat came into view; you were the first to take notice of who was on it.

JJ met your eye first, his mouth moving as he spoke to his friends. You saw the recognition in his eyes and he grinned, sending a wink in your direction as you scoffed and flipped him off. He laughed, shaking his head in amusement. Kiara stared at all of you in utter disgust, you just took a drag of your cigarette and turned away from them.

“You don’t have to act like you don’t see us, bitch,” you heard Kiara speak as your boats crossed paths.

“What was that?” You yelled back. She wasn’t talking to you, but you knew there wasn’t much of a chance Sarah would speak up for herself.

“Shut up!” Sarah hissed, turning to look at you. You shrugged.

“She’s a bitch.”

The three of you arrived on the beach and were given trash bags and litter-pickers; the sun glared down on you as Sarah began to tell Topper what had gone on with her and John B.

“You should’ve heard how John B talked to me. That kid’s got a mouth on him!” Sarah exclaimed.

“Well, he showed his true colours, Sarah,” Topper replied, making you roll your eyes from behind the pair of them.

From the little time you’d spent with John B yesterday, you didn’t think he seemed so bad — you had a feeling Sarah didn’t either.

“He was so rude!”

“I know! It’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. I mean, he’s lucky your dad didn’t press chargers,” Topper exclaimed.

“Over scuba gear that he returned?” You snorted, earning dirty looks from the both of them. You held your hands up in surrender.

“It’s just… kind of ridiculous to me. After everything my dad has done for him. Just so generous. You’d think that he’d be more grateful. And then he yells at me like it’s my fault!” Sarah rambled.

In reality, Sarah was upset that the boy she had a crush on was annoyed with her. You could read her like a book, and that was exactly what was going on. She didn’t care he’d stolen from them, she didn’t care if it was disrespectful towards her father, she cared that she was stuck with Topper when there were men like John B out there.

“He’s a Pogue, at the end of the day. I mean, you can say we’re all just people, or— or whatever, but it’s a totally different mindset on the Cut,” Top responded.

“Bullshit,” you muttered under your breath.

“Huh?” Topper asked, looking back at you.

“Look, it’s Kelce,” you said, changing the subject as you pointed to him.

“Yo. You look thirsty!” He grinned, passing over a water bottle to you.

“What have we got here?” You smirked. Maybe this beach clean up wouldn’t be so bad after all.

“Have some of that, baby,” Kelce said. You took a sip and gagged, face scrunching up in disgust as your throat burned from the taste. “Yeah, that’s how we do it, baby.”

“Jesus,” you cringed, passing the bottle over to Sarah. “Have some of that.”

She took a sip and laughed, shaking her head. “What did you do to this?” Wheezie grabbed it from her hand, starting to chug it before Sarah grabbed it from her hold. “Since when did you start drinking?”

“Since today,” the younger girl shrugged.

“Going down a dangerous path there, Wheez,” you teased, she stuck her tongue out at you.

The prayer circle you all stood in had you and Sarah in a fit of giggles, soon being joined by Topper. It seemed the more you drank the more you didn’t hate his company, choosing to hang out with the couple for the rest of the cleanup.

“Uh oh,” you murmured with a snort as Wheezie came stumbling towards you, face pale. “You okay, babe?”

“I need to go home,” she groaned, gagging slightly after her sentence.

“Oh, shit. Okay, okay,” you laughed. “Sare! We have a code red. Your sisters about to vom all over the newly cleaned beach.”

Sarah cursed, groaning as she came over. “Seriously?”

“Don’t act like you weren’t the same at her age,” you bickered. “C’mon, let’s get her home.”

Thankfully, Wheezie managed to hold in her puke until the three of you were back home and in the bathroom. She threw up into the toilet, making you cringe as Sarah held her hair back.

“So, what we have learnt?” Sarah asked, sitting down on the edge of the bath tub beside you.

“Never mix vodka with Crystal Light,” Wheezie groaned.

“Very good,” Sarah nodded, as Wheezie threw up yet again.

“Jesus,” you muttered.

“Please don’t tell dad,” Wheezie begged, looking between the both of you.

“I won’t. On one condition,” Sarah replied, making you look over at her in surprise.

Wheezie sighed, looking at her sister in irritation. “What’s that?”

“You cover for us sneaking out with Topper tonight… please,” Sarah said, giving her a hopeful look.

Wheezie hesitated, but after a moment of contemplation she nodded. “Fine.”

“Do you promise?” Sarah asked.

“I promise.” Wheezie held her pinky up, the two of them interlocking their fingers. You smiled softly, having a sister would be so much better than a brother.

Once she’d thrown up a few more times, the two of you got the youngest Cameron into bed and sat with her until she’d passed out. You laughed at the memories of Sarah being the same after her first drink as the both of you wandered down the stairs, you froze as you heard Ward’s annoyed voice.

“I don’t feel like you care,” he stated. Sarah held a finger to her lips as you both crept down the stairs.

“I said I do!” Rafe argued.

“Yeah, you said.”

“What do you want me to say?” You and Sarah snuck beside the door, standing with your backs to the wall.

“I don’t want you to say anything! Take care of business. Where are the backup generators?” You cringed at Ward’s words. Of course Rafe had spunked the money that was meant for the generators. “I gave you money for the backup generators. You said you would take care of it. Did you take care of it? Where are they?”

“They’re on back order,” Rafe mumbled

“Yeah, of course they are.”

“There was a hurricane.”

“I tell you what. You know that Pogue I just fired? Way more reliable than you,” Ward stated.

Telling Rafe that anyone is better than him will send him into a meltdown, but a Pogue? That’s like you’re wishing death upon everyone in a nearby radius.

“Really?” Rafe replied sarcastically.

“Yeah, really. You need to get it together, Rafe, or you can go live on the Cut,” Ward threatened. Rafe laughed. “That funny to you?”

“Wow.”

“You can go live on the damn cut, Rafe. As far as I’m concerned. Now get up and get out of here. I’m sick of lookin’ at you,” Ward ordered. Rafe stood up and began to storm away, but not before Ward could get in the last word. “Make yourself useful somewhere, somehow.”

“Sarah’s not working,” Rafe murmured. You turned to your best friend and nearly laughed at the look of annoyance on her face.

“This isn’t about Sarah, Rafe. You’re almost 20. You don’t just get to sit back and have everything handed to you,” Ward argued.

“Yes, Sir,” Rafe grumbled, an edge to his tone.

“It does not seem like you understand me,” Ward said, voice stating to raise yet again.

“I’ll take care of those generators, okay?”

“I’ll believe that when I see it.”

Rafe walked inside, not giving you and Sarah enough time to even try and pretend that you weren’t listening. At least you had the decency to look apologetic. “Told you. Shouldn’t have bought that motorcycle with the generator money,” Sarah taunted.

“Hm,” he muttered, turning away and continuing to leave.

“Dude,” you sighed, shaking your head at her as you started to follow him out. “Where are you going?”

“To make some money,” he muttered, putting on his helmet; at least he wasn’t a complete idiot.

“By doing what? Prostitution?” You asked. His hard exterior broke and a slight smile made it’s way onto his face.

“The ladies wish,” he smirked.

You shook your head in amusement. “So, I see you and your dad aren’t getting along any better since the last time I saw you?”

Four months ago, Rafe had driven to Charleston on a whim. Him and Ward had had some sort of spat and he needed to get away. He wouldn’t tell you what happened, no matter how hard you pried, he left only two days later and you didn’t hear a word from him for another month.

“He’s just stressed,” Rafe shrugged, sitting down on his bike. “No big deal. I’ll get the money.”

“Yeah? How?” You asked, tilting your head at him.

He shook his head, starting up the engine. “That’s non of your concern. I’ll see you later, okay?”

Before you could even reply he was riding off, leaving you with more questions than you started with.

———

Sarah was napping, Ward, Rose and Wheezie went to the club for lunch and Rafe was still out when there was a knock on the front door. You sighed, getting up from where you laid reading a book to open it. Your eyes widened as you made eye contact with the person in front of you; JJ Maybank.

He grinned, although there was confusion all over his face. “Juliet? What’re you doin’ here?”

“I, uh, I’m staying here. What’re you doing here?” You echoed.

JJ held out the grocery bags, wiggling his eyebrows. “The Cameron’s don’t like to go shopping, it seems.”

“Ah, I see,” you murmured, reaching out to take the bags from his hold.

“I got it.” He walked straight past you and into the house, whistling as he took in the interior. “It’s a nice place. Why’re you staying here?”

“Do you have zero manners?” You asked, following after him as he managed to find the kitchen.

He shrugged, smirking at you as he placed the bags on the counter and turned around to lean against it. “You answer mine and I’ll answer yours.”

“I told you already, I come here every summer,” you replied.

“You failed to mention the fact that you stay with the most powerful family on the island,” he laughed. “And no, I don’t have manners.”

“Clearly. People that do don’t tend to hold guns to other peoples heads.” His smile fell at your comment, replaced with a mixture of embarrassment and annoyance.

“He was tryin’ to drown John B,” JJ retaliated.

You nodded your head, hands on your hips. “I didn’t say he didn’t deserve to be a little scared, the gun was just a step too far. Why do you even have that?”

“That’s a long ass story,” he murmured, looking down at his feet. He looked back up a moment later, the confidence back in his eyes. “I mean, I had fun before that. Been havin’ some vivid dreams about that night.”

“You’re disgusting,” you cringed, face scrunching up.

“You’re the one that kissed me,” he smirked. “I didn’t hear you complainin’ then.”

“Whatever. You should go, Rafe will probably be back soon and he’d lose his mind if a Pogue was stood in his kitchen,” you sighed.

JJ smiled, nodding as he stepped forward. “You care about me.”

“I don’t even know you.”

“Sure you don’t, Y/N. Sure you don’t,” he nodded, walking past you. “See you around, Juliet!” He beamed, winking at you before walking out the room and back through the house.

It took you five minutes to realise he’d used your real name.

———

You’d thought the most intense party you’d ever been at was Rafe’s birthday party two years ago, his 18th had been huge thanks to Ward; but the problem was that Ward had planned it. There was booze, yes, but not enough for everyone to get absolutely smashed. As you and Sarah walked into the apparent party of the summer you realised you didn’t know a thing.

There were teens everywhere, some making out, some smoking cigarettes indoors, some throwing up on the carpet that costed more than your car. It was insane, and it was only half nine. Kelce was the first to spot the two of you, rushing over with a strained smile on his face.

“Where’s your brother?” He asked, looking right into Sarah’s eyes.

“How should I know?” Sarah snorted. She spotted her boyfriend in the crowd and made her way over to him, abandoning you with Kelce.

“Everything okay?” You questioned, tilting your head at him.

“Rafe’s the only guy that comes to these things with yayo,” Kelce huffed. Your eyes widened; it seemed you were correct about Rafe’s drug habits. The brown haired boy noticed the look of surprise on your face, and he instantly freaked. “Don’t tell Rafe I told you, please. He’ll kill me.”

“Why would he kill you?” You asked, smoothing out your little black dress that Sarah had picked out from her closet.

Kelce shrugged, running a hand over his cheek. “I dunno, he’s got a thing about you knowin’ shit. He gave me and Topper a warning before you arrived to not talk about certain things.”

“Like what?” Your face scrunched up. Did Rafe really care about your opinion on him that much?

“Oh no, I ain’t getting myself in more trouble—” Kelce cut himself off as an arm wrapped around your waist.

“Why would you be in trouble?” Rafe had a thing about showing up at the worst time possible.

“Nah, nothin’. Where you been?” Kelce asked.

“I, uh, c’mere.” He dragged Kelce away from you, whispering in his ear. Kelce nodded before he wandered off, Rafe made his way back over to you. “I didn’t think you’d be here.”

“Well, I am,” you shrugged.

“You look nice,” he complimented, scratching the back of his neck. “Uh, listen, I’m gonna be downstairs and I’d rather you didn’t come down there.”

“Yeah? Why’s that?” You tilted your head to the side, playing naive.

“That’s where the dodgey people hang out, y���know? I’m just keepin’ an eye, makin’ sure everything’s cool. I think you should just stay with my sister, wherever she is,” Rafe explained, or lied.

She’d disappeared somewhere with Topper, you weren’t going to intervene. “I’m not an idiot, Rafe.”

“I know—”

“Your way of paying for the generators is selling coke? Are you serious?” You hissed at him. His face fell, eyes widening and jaw twitching.

“Who told you that? Was it Kelce? That kid’s been tryin’ to get in your pants all week, I swear he’d say anythin’—” Rafe rambled. Now that you really looked at him, you noticed the way his nose twitched, the size of his pupils.

“You’re on it right now,” you sighed. “If your dad knew about this—”

“As if he’d give a shit. All he’d care about is that non of his clients find out,” Rafe scoffed. “Look, just mind your business, a’ight? Stay up here.”

He began to walk away and you scoffed, glaring after him. “Sue me for giving a shit about you!”

Sarah didn’t show up again. You’d seen her jump off the roof with Topper at one point, but after that you’d lost track. You had a few drinks, at least this party had a variety instead of just beer. You were sat with some girls, vaguely aware of the conversation they were in when Kelce came up beside you.

“Rafe’s pretty pissed at me.” He looked the same as Rafe had, twitchy face and big eyes, you just nodded. “Hey, listen, y’know the other day? Sarah told us about your mom, I’m really sorry ‘bout that. Topper feels bad about what he said.”

“What?” You turned to look at him, eyes widening.

“Yeah… I mean, shit, drownin’ is one thing but suicide? And you had to find her? That’s a lot to deal with,” Kelce rambled on.

You were in utter shock. The way he was speaking to you, it was like he wasn’t describing the most traumatic thing to ever happen to you. Like he wasn’t talking about the day your life ended and the world crumbled around you. He was still speaking, but you couldn’t hear a thing as your eyes stung with tears and you fought yourself from slapping him silly.

“Yeah, thanks,” you interrupted him sharply. “If you see Sarah can you let her know I left. I’m not feeling well.”

“Want me to come with?” He offered. As if.

“Nope.” You turned around and walked away, grabbing an opened bottle of vodka from the shelf as you went.

The drink burnt your throat as you stumbled down the road, tears in your eyes and nausea creeping its way in. Food, you needed food. The first place you saw that still had the lights on was a restaurant you seemed to recognise but couldn’t remember why, The Wreck. You made your way in, almost tumbling over a table leg.

“Twice in one day? Lucky me.” You flinched as JJ’s voice came from beside you. “Technically three times, if you count us seeing each other this morning— are you good?”

You hadn’t even realised you were looking at him, eyes dull and face flushed with the vodka. “I’m hungry.”

“You’re hungry?” He smirked. “Just hungry? Not a little drunk?”

“Maybe a little.” You held your fingers together, a small gap in between.

“Come on, drunkie. We have food.” You didn’t know who he meant by we, but you were quick to find out as his hand found the small of your back and he lead you to a table. “Got company.”

“Hey, Y/N,” John B greeted with a smile.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Kiara muttered under her breath.

“She’s hungry,” JJ shrugged, ushering you to sit down next to John B before he slid into the booth beside you.

He pushed the fries towards you and you started to scoff them down, humming in delight. “I’m Pope.” The boy from the beach introduced.

“Hi,” you greeted, giving him a warm smile.

“She doesn’t look like the devil,” Pope joked to Kiara, who elbowed him harshly.

“How’ve you been, Kie?” You were so gone that you honestly forgot you were supposed to hate her. Sarah wasn’t here, and you’re sure she wouldn’t mind you having one conversation.

Kiara blinked in surprise. “Uh, good. Thanks… I heard about your mom.”

You cringed, but the look on your face seemed to tell her to shut her mouth. JJ’s arm rested around your shoulders. “So, where’ve you been tonight?”

“Party. Got bored,” you shrugged.

“You shouldn’t walk around drunk by yourself,” Pope lectured, sounding like an old dad.

You snorted, covering your mouth as if it would block the sound. “Sorry. You’re weird. Not in a bad way, you’re nice.”

“He gets that a lot,” JJ smirked from beside you.

“What’re you guys doing?” You asked.

“Treasure hunt,” JJ replied.

“JJ!” Kiara snapped. He laughed, but not as hard as you.

“A treasure hunt? Are you children?” You teased.

“You’ll be wishin’ you didn’t make fun when we’re rich and famous,” John B shrugged. “You need a ride home?”

“Clearly,” Pope responded.

You were going to agree, but as you opened your mouth the door swung open. Rafe met your eyes and he stormed over, shaking his head as he muttered to himself. “Been lookin’ everywhere for you. Kelce said you went home.”

“Made a pit-stop, what’s it matter to you?” You shrugged, shoving a fry in your mouth.

“I know you’re pissed with me, doesn’t give you an excuse to run off. C’mon, why are you sittin’ with these lot?” Rafe huffed, waiting for you to get out of the booth.

“God. I’m eating,” you argued.

“Maybank, outta the way,” Rafe ordered.

“Doesn’t sound like she wants to go with you, man,” JJ shrugged. His arm was still around your shoulders, and Rafe seemed to take note.

“You’re seriously gonna take advantage of a drunk girl? I didn’t even think you’d stoop that low,” Rafe commented.

JJ shot up, fists balled up. “The fuck did you just say to me?”

“Alright, alright,” you yelled, getting up from your seat. “He was giving me food, chill out. Let’s go. Always ruining my damn fun.”

Rafe shot JJ a look as he grabbed your hand, you quickly pulled it away. JJ looked between the two of you, an expression you couldn’t read as you waved to the others.

“See y’all around,” you muttered, already on your way out of the restaurant.

“Wait up!” Rafe exclaimed.

“Piss off!”

You started to walk down the road when Rafe caught up with you, walking in tow. “My bikes here. Just get on.”

“You’re coked up,” you muttered.

“I haven’t done a line in hours, I swear. I wouldn’t put your life in danger,” he promised. “Why were you sittin’ with the Pogues? They’re the ones you should be scared of. Maybank had a gun to Top’s head a few days ago.”

“All they were doing was sharing some fries with me,” you huffed, stopping to look at him. “You aren’t my dad, Rafe. Even he doesn’t get to choose who I talk to.”

“I’m trying to protect you,” Rafe retaliated.

“I take care of myself ten months out of the year. I can do it the extra two,” you responded. “They’re nice people. Who cares if they don’t have as much money as you do?”

“Fine, okay, fine. Let’s drop that. Can we just go home?” He pleaded.

“Fine, whatever.”

You didn’t speak for the ride back, and you ignored him once you got inside. You were planning on just going to sleep, the alcohol was starting to make you tired, but your plans were changed once you stepped into your room and found Sarah laying on your bed.

“Sare?” You questioned, noticing the quiver to her lip.

“Topper wanted to have sex. I couldn’t do it,” she said, a sad smile on her face.

You kicked your shoes off and crawled into bed, arms wrapping around her frame as a sob left her mouth. “Okay. It’s okay.”

Sleep could wait, Sarah couldn’t.

[dvinefem]

untitled elriel vibes pt. 7

i'm back bitches. az too. the length of these will start to increase as we move forward, i just wanted to get the first few out the way i envisioned them. which means shorter snippets and more impactful endings. that's just how I roll. also i’ll move this over to ao3, i’m just busy. p.s. spicy shit coming soon. god forbid a girl catch a vibe first (jk love u). ~previously on untitled elriel~ read part 6 here.

“Do not think, even for a moment, that I do not ache for you. With every thought, every beat of my treasonous heart — every dream of you that I am unworthy of having..” A reverent, worshipping kiss to her forehead. Her nose. Her lips. "There is no part of me that does not belong to you."

Azriel felt the words tumble out of him, beyond his control. Over five hundred years of steadfast restraint, and this female — this goddess of gentle kindness and quiet strength — had him in ruins.

Unbeknownst to her, Elain had sunk her tender hands into the soil of him.

Not to change him. Not to fix him. No. She’d simply breathed life into him.

He knew he was fucked from the very beginning. But the moment their lips met, he was lost to her completely. He understood then that there would never be anyone else. Not for him, at least. If she wanted to claim him with her light, only to leave him in nothing but shadows — he would let her. Willingly and without hesitation.

In the hours between sleepless nights and weary mornings, he’d often found himself trying to pinpoint when it had happened. When had she weaved herself so deeply into the cracks of his soul? So completely intertwined that he could no longer tell where he ended and she began.

“It should have been you.” She whispered.

He blinked a few times in shock. In wonder. And fuck if he wasn’t self loathing enough to believe it to be true. The very thing he'd been questioning for quite some time now.

Azriel ran a hand through his dark, mess of hair — disheveled by her affections. He squeezed his eyes shut. “Elain… you shouldn’t say such things.”

The spymaster had come to know pain and torture like old friends. But this was agony without the blood and bone and gore.

“Azriel, look at me.”

“I cannot.” He breathed. For he knew that if he dared to open his eyes, the weight of his long-suffering grief would likely spill freely down his cheeks. Like a fucking child.

Mother above.

“Please,” She brought her hands to his face. “Do not hide from me.”

He shook his head.

“You are allowed to feel. You are not ‘unworthy’. You deserve to love and be loved in return.” Something fragile in his heart fractured under the weight of her words.

He mustered every drop of strength in his body toward choking back the discomfort, and finally cracked his eyes open.

“Do not let Lucien, or whatever Rhysand thinks, or the damned Cauldron—“

“You don’t understand, it is not so simple.”

She went quiet then, confusion and sorrow written all over her beautiful face.

“Do you… know what a Blood Duel is?” After all this time, she was certainly owed the truth.

“Sounds preposterous.”

“It is a battle to the death. An Autumn Court tradition. Lucien could invoke it if—"

“That is revolting.” Elain folded her arms over her chest. She worried at her lower lip. “This nonsense... that is Rhysand’s concern?”

“The potential fallout could be... significant. He ordered me to stay away from you. To keep the peace.”

She bristled, and he could have sworn he felt the ground beneath them tremble. He tucked the thought away.

“There will be no fighting over me.”

“Wouldn’t be much of a fight.” He muttered under his breath.

Elain’s wide eyes flickered with amusement. “That is not funny.“ He watched her attempt to school her features into neutrality.

“It wasn’t meant to be. But,” He shrugged, irreverently. “I’m glad to know you’re aware of who the stronger male is.”

“Azriel. You will not kill Lucien. I truly do not think he would demand a duel, regardless.”

“Very well. But if you asked me to…“ Blue siphons shimmered menacingly under the moonlight — a devilish sort of grin tugged at his lips as his wings spread wide. The kind of grin that said, I could.

She snorted, and then tilted her head back just slightly. Searching for patience. “Stop that.”

He sighed. “As you wish.”

Silence fell upon them for some time after that. Staring at each other, at the stars — thinking, breathing.

“So,” Elain began, cool and pensive. “Rhys threatened you. And you obeyed.” A forced laugh fell from her lips — fragile and breathless. “For months you pretended I was nothing to you. Because of the High Lord and his political motives.”

Fucking hell.

“He thinks he can discuss and dictate my life without my knowledge, when so much has already been taken from me?” She shot him a pointed glare. “…You, too.”

“I never meant to— I’m sorry.” Azriel realized then, that even though Rhys had given the order, he’d had just as much of a hand in stripping her of free will as his brother did. Deciding for her. And the thought of it horrified him. “I convinced myself I had no choice. I am so sorry, Elain.”

“There is always a choice.” She whispered into the darkness, taking his ruined hand in hers.

And then he tracked it. The slight furrow of her brow. Her breath catching in her throat. Her eyes glazed over — looking glassy and far away.

“Elain.” He caught her chin in his hand. Searching for something, anything in her now vacant gaze.

Shadows swarmed him. Writhing and coiling and shrieking in his ears. A primal instinct inside of him screamed the kind of warning that came too late to matter. Her petite frame went limp and the world seemed to shatter. In one swift motion, Azriel lifted her into his arms.

It was as though she’d taken too far a glimpse into that other realm.

[studentbyday]

2025.

Please be good.

[technically-human]

Ooh, now that we’ve seen N!Edwin and DP!Edwin talk about Feelings could we see the same with N!Charles and DP!Charles?

As simple as that.

Edwins version

ko-fi

[fisheito]

what sort of twisted powerplay is this

[kittenfangirl20]

Charlie: I hope I am not going upset you, but what happened to your eye.

Vaggie: It’s alright, I never told anyone because they never asked. Many people assume it was a vampire, but it wasn’t. It was my dad, I grew up in one of those ultra religious families that treated everything as a sin. I could only wear skirts that went down to my ankles because a woman showing off jet legs was a sin, my dad seeing you wearing a suit would cause him to meltdown. My hair had to be a certain length because short hair was meant for men. Well, when I was about thirteen, I started to notice how beautiful women were and I wasn’t at all attracted to me. I would find a way to sneak pictures of women I found pretty just so I could look at them. It was nothing beyond looking, but my dad found the collection and started screaming at me about how because I was using my eyes to sin they must be cut out before he cut out my left eye.

Charlie: That is so terrible, he shouldn’t have done that to you.

Vaggie: Thank you, he would have cut out my right eye if Adam hadn’t heard the commotion and ran inside to see what was happening. It was nice to see the look of fear cross dad’s face when a six and a half foot tall priest burst into our home and beat the shit out of him while the true sin is abusing your daughter and not the fact that the daughter likes looking at pretty women since he saw my collection which wasn’t even pornographic at all. Adam took me out of there and found a way for him to get legal custody of me and be my guardian. When I moved into the church that became my home, he asked me what I wanted to do first and I said always wanted to cut my hair to chin length, so he had me sit down and cut my hair that length. I was even allowed to wear jeans and shirts I found cool. Now the reason I grew my hair long is because I chose to do it. I wanted to become a nun because Adam saved me, but Adam would only let me begin my training after I graduate high school because he wanted me to have the normal high school experience. I am thankful for that because I got to do things like go to prom and graduate because of his choice. People thought it was odd that my guardian was a priest, but on his off time he would play the electric guitar and play video games. Though I was rather envious that he had a DD cup and my breasts firmly stated at an A cup.

Charlie: I think your breasts are pretty.

Vaggie blushed and before they knew it, they were kissing. They got out of their clothes as Charlie made love to Vaggie. Vaggie had at most experienced kisses and some intimate touching, but she knew that this was what she wanted now she only wanted it from Charlie. As a vampire Charlie could shape shift parts of her so Vaggie could experience different types of intimacy. Afterwards they curled up together.

Charlie: Stay with me and be mine and I will be yours as well.

Vaggie: I want to stay with you.

That night Adam woke up feeling so rested and happy. He got out of the bed and put on a silk robe so he could walk around the room. Everything was so grand and beautiful, Adam excitedly hugged himself realizing this was his home and he now had a husband who loved him. He went to the bathroom and got a warm bubble bath ready. Once in the tub, he felt strong and gentle hands wash him. He looked up to see Lucifer bathing him.

Lucifer: Did you sleep well my dove?

Adam: Yes, I did.

Lucifer: What would you like to try out tonight?

Adam blushed knowing what he wanted, but he was afraid Lucifer would laugh.

Adam: Promise not to laugh.

Lucifer: I promise.

Adam: I want to know what sex with a pussy feels like. I know vampires can shape shift, I want you to give me a pussy so I can know what it feels like.

To Adam’s relief Lucifer didn’t laugh.

Lucifer: We can do that, but I should warn you that there is a chance you can get pregnant this way and you will be stuck with a vagina until you give birth.

Adam: I don’t mind, I like raising kids.

After Adam was cleaned up, Lucifer took Adam to the mirror and opened Adam’s robe. Lucifer then placed his hand on the intimate part between Adam’s legs. When Lucifer pulled away his hand, Adam started to feel warm between his legs as his dick and balls started to melt before forming into a pussy between his legs. Adam got out of the robe and lay on the bed as he played with the changed part of his body. He blushed as he became soaking wet between his legs. He liked touching himself, but he wanted more, Lucifer moved Adam’s hand and started to eat him out. Adam gasped when he felt Lucifer’s tongue play with his clit. Lucifer was such an expert with his mouth, he made Adam orgasm many times.

Lucifer: Do you want more?

Adam: Yes.

All of this was so nice, but Adam’s wet, aching pussy needed Adam’s dick. Lucifer lay on the bed and coaxed Adam to get on top of him. Adam moved up and down once Lucifer was inside of him. Everting felt so good like last night.

Lucifer: Do you want a baby in you?

Adam: Yes.

Adam knew at that moment the reason why he wanted to experience vaginal sex was because he wanted to experience pregnancy. He remembered once when he was a teen telling a friend that he wanted to get pregnant. His friend laughed at him and said men like them can’t get pregnant. He laughed even more as Adam started to cry. That ended their friendship and the guy had to be sent to another school when he started to bully Adam by stuffing pregnancy tests into Adam’s locker. Now was his chance to have his greatest desire. Lucifer grabbed Adam’s hips and thrust deeper into him, he was going to make sure to fill up Adam with cum and Adam could have his baby. He wanted to see Adam go through the pregnancy process, stomach become even bigger as well as well as round. Lucifer arched his back from the mattress as to fill Adam up with his seed.

@things-arent-what-they-seem66

Vampire/Priest Au

Adam had to make sure that the church and the living area where he and all the nuns lived were locked up tight at night.

He also made sure everyone had their cross, rosary beads, and wooden stake.

Could never be too careful when Vampires live in the area. Recently one got in and sucked one of his nuns dry as if she were a juice box.

Vaggie: Father.

Adam turned and smiled: Sister Vaggie, you should be in bed for the night, it's dangerous.

Vaggie: I know, I just wanted to be sure everything was secure.

Adam: It is, go to your room and keep your windows locked and curtains drawn.

They couldn't risk losing another one.

-

Charlie dropped the animal on the ground and wiped the blood from her mouth. She turned and saw the glowing eyes of her father in the darkness of the forest.

Charlie: Dad?

Lucifer: It's time to go back to the church.

Charlie: Are you sure?

He turned to the direction of the church, the glow from the stain glass windows in the distance.

His future Queen was in there.

Lucifer: Very sure.

Unlike what the myths said, it wasn’t dangerous for vampires to step onto holy ground. Charlie followed her dad onto the church. He watched the nuns walk through the grounds, but they didn’t interest Lucifer. Lucifer saw his future Queen on the balcony, the most beautiful man he had ever seen in his life. Even his black priestly robes couldn’t hide his curves.

Lucifer: Soon you will be my Queen.

Adam heard the words that felt like a caress. Somehow he knew those words were for him and they were a real turn on for him.

Adam internally: Why are you letting yourself do this Adam? You dedicated yourself to the church, you said you would be chaste.

Lucifer: Why should a beauty like you have to be chaste for life.

Adam suddenly felt hands caress his body.

Adam: Who are you?

Lucifer: Invite me into your quarters and you can see me.

Adam: You can come into my quarters.

Adam walked inside not expecting who to see, but it certainly wasn’t a very handsome man. Lucifer smiled at Adam and Adam could see the fangs.

@things-arent-what-they-seem66

[dan-whoell]

i keep thinking about a phandom book club, but i have no idea how to go about organizing it or if anyone would be interested or even where to host it

alternatively is there already a phandom book club i could join? because i would love that