#i want to start livng

[its-tortle]

i am so tears tonight. i hate being 20

[dazzlingjaeyun]

𝟐:𝟏𝟖𝐚𝐦 𝐩𝐭. 𝟐 - 𝐥𝐞𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐮𝐧𝐠

situationship!heeseung x fem!reader

genre: angst

warnings: cursing, suggestive if you squint your eyes

word count: ~3.3k

a/n (!!): this can be read as a sequel to part one, as well as an alternative ending to the story. the first part can be read alone, too, if you liked the way it ended, however, if you want to read part 2, i advise to read part one first for context <3

↝ dazzlingjaeyun's bookshelf

‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥��̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ♡ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ♡ ‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊

part one | part two

when heeseung woke up the next morning, his head was pounding - clearly the aftermath of the night before. almost instinctively, he reached for the glass of water, popped a pill out of the blister of painkillers, and quickly gulped it down. mentally noting to thank you as soon as you'd wake up, he turned around to check on you, only to realize the spot you'd usually take in the bed was empty and cold.

that's when the memories of the last night's conversation hit him with such force, he was sure it would have knocked him down had he been standing.

"fuck," he muttered under his breath, running his hand over his face as he remembered the words you could barely get out under all the tears; don't call me again.

only remembering how you'd left him shortly before he'd passed out, he slowly stood up from bed and quietly made his way to the livng room, assuming that this was where you'd spent the night.

when he found the sofa as empty as the bed, an uncomfortable feeling started to creep up on him. where the hell had you gone?

after he'd searched the entire apartment without a trace of you, he quickly went back into the bedroom, found his jeans that were discarded on the floor and fumbled his phone out of the pocket. ignoring any other notification on his lockscreen, he immediately went to the contacts and scrolled down to your name.

his thumb hovered over the call-button for a while as he replayed your last words like a broken record. don't call me again. he sighed, ran his hand through his hair, and decided to call nevertheless - only to reach your voicemail before he could even lift the phone to his ear.

"where the fuck are you?" he mumbled to himself, before calling another contact.

"hyung? why are you even up so earl-"

"is she with you?" heeseung interrupted his younger friend.

on the other end of the line, sunghoon sat up in his bed and rubbed his eyes with a yawn. "what the fuck are you talking about, man?"

"y/n. is she with you?" heeseung insisted, his mind flashing back to the conversation you'd had about the younger the night before. maybe he was right and you went to sunghoon yet again?

the younger let out a groan, visibly irritated by why the hell his friend would wake him up just to ask the most stupid question. "what do you mean is she with me? she picked you up yesterday"

"like i don't know," heeseung snapped back, growing impatient, "but she's not here."

"dude, i don't know, she probably just went home," sunghoon sighed.

but i'm at her place, heeseung thought. he didn't want to speak those words, didn't want his friend to think you ran away from him in your own home.

"give her some time, she'll call you," sunghoon said after a moment of silence from his older friend. heeseung just hummed in response and hung up the phone.

he glanced around the apartment. part of him expected you to come back, maybe not right away but eventually. you always came back. the presence of your things all over made it easy to believe you’d be back, as if nothing had changed. he stuffed his hands into his pockets, feeling the weight of the silence pressing in.

she’ll come back, he told himself, his jaw clenched. it was easier to think that than to acknowledge the unsettling feeling that maybe this time was different. she just needs space.

he put on his jacket, giving the apartment one last look before heading out.

when you returned home hours later, the silence was oppressive, hanging heavy in the air. you placed your bag down, avoiding the mirror in the hallway. you didn’t want to see the evidence of how much the night had taken from you.

your feet dragged you to your bedroom, and when you crawled into bed, the familiar scent hit you like a punch to the gut. the sheets smelled like him. faint but unmistakable. you froze, staring up at the ceiling, your heart pounding in your chest as memories of him beside you - holding you, touching you - flooded back.

for a second, the urge to rip the covers off, to erase every trace of him, surged through you. but instead, you clenched your jaw, pulling the sheets tighter around yourself, trying to block out the familiar ache in your chest. the memories hurt, and you were tired of hurting. you had cried enough, and you refused to let him have any more of your tears.

but sleep didn’t come easy. your mind wouldn’t stop racing, replaying every word, every touch, until exhaustion finally pulled you under.

.｡*ﾟ+.*.｡

on the other side, heeseung was starting to feel it. at first, he had brushed it off, convinced you were just being dramatic. maybe you needed a few days to cool off, and then things would go back to normal. but when you didn’t respond to his texts, when his calls went unanswered, the absence became hard to ignore. he wasn’t used to this - you being completely unavailable. it felt unnatural, like something was missing from his life.

it was starting to frustrate him. why were you being so difficult? heeseung paced his apartment, phone in hand, waiting for a message that never came. he felt restless. uneasy. why the hell is she doing this?

three days passed. then four. then almost a week. the realization hit him hard one evening when he sat alone in his apartment, scrolling through his phone. he had no one to call. no one he wanted to see, no one he wanted to spend time with. he thought of you, as usual, but for the first time, there was no easy way to reach you.

heeseung dropped by sunghoon’s place a few days later, feeling more frustrated than ever. you still hadn’t answered his messages or calls, and it was starting to weigh on him in ways he hadn’t anticipated. heeseung flopped down on the couch, running a hand through his hair in frustration.

sunghoon glanced at him, raising an eyebrow. “you look like hell. what’s up?”

heeseung let out a bitter laugh at his friend's remark. “it’s… her. she hasn’t talked to me since that night.”

sunghoon’s expression shifted into one of confusion. “what do you mean? did you guys break up?”

heeseung scoffed. “no, it’s not like that. we were… you know. casual.”

sunghoon blinked at him, clearly taken aback. “casual? dude, you always called her ‘your girl', getting all possesive and shit. you acted like she was more than just some hookup.”

heeseung rolled his eyes, trying to dismiss the weight of the words. “no, sunghoon. we weren’t serious. it’s just... we’ve been seeing each other for a while, but that’s it.”

“that’s it?” sunghoon repeated, his voice growing a little sharper. “heeseung, she was at your place all the time. it was like she was your girlfriend whenever she hung out with us.”

heeseung sighed, leaning back against the couch. “it wasn’t serious like that.”

sunghoon shook his head, frowning. “are you hearing yourself? she’s been by your side for months, hee. i thought you were serious about her - we all did. and she clearly thought she meant something to you, too.”

heeseung opened his mouth to argue, but sunghoon cut him off, his tone more serious now. “remember that night you got jealous? when she was crying in my arms? you acted like she was yours, like you had some claim on her.”

heeseung tensed, a flash of guilt hitting him. “i remember,” he muttered. that night had bothered him, seeing you so upset, but instead of comforting you, he had focused on how he felt - how seeing you so close to sunghoon had made him jealous.

sunghoon’s voice softened, but there was still a sharp edge to it. “she was crying because of you. you can’t just expect her to stick around forever while you figure your shit out.”

heeseung stayed silent for a moment, the weight of sunghoon’s words pressing down on him. he had always seen you as someone who would be there - no matter how many times he screwed up. but maybe that was exactly the problem. he had taken you for granted, assuming that you’d never leave, that you’d always come back to him, even when he didn’t deserve it.

.｡*ﾟ+.*.｡

it was late when heeseung finally dialed your number. his heart was pounding in his chest, but he didn’t hesitate. he couldn’t stand the silence any longer.

the phone rang. once. twice.

you picked up on the third ring, and the sound of your voice, though quiet and tired, hit him like a wave. “heeseung, it’s late,” you said, your tone firm.

he could hear the exhaustion in your words, and he felt a sharp pang of guilt. “i know. i know it’s late,” he said quickly, his voice softer than usual. “but please, i need to talk to you.”

you sighed, and he could already hear the walls going up. “ask one of your friends to take you home this time. i’m not going to take care of you. i’m done.”

he swallowed hard, the weight of your words heavy on his chest. “i’m sober.” his voice was quiet, softer than usual. “i’m not drunk or high or… anything. i just want to talk.”

you hesitated. every fiber of your being was telling you to hang up, but a small part of you - one that hadn’t fully shut him out - wanted to listen. “heeseung, i don’t think i can do this anymore. i told you not to call me.”

“i know. i know. just… please. i need to say something,” he pleaded, and there was something in his voice that felt different this time. less cocky, more vulnerable. “i don’t know what’s wrong with me, okay? i’ve been thinking about it, and i realized i don’t know how to do this - how to be with someone. i get scared.”

you stayed silent, listening to him for once.

“i like the idea of someone being there for me, but the second i feel like i have to actually be there for them too, i panic,” he admitted, his words tumbling out quickly, like he was afraid he’d lose the courage to say them if he didn’t get them out fast enough. “i’m not good at this, y/n. i don’t know how to care for someone the way you care for me.”

you swallowed hard, your heart twisting. “so what, you just use people because it’s easier for you?”

“i didn’t mean to use you. i just… i’m messed up. i don’t know how to let anyone in without screwing it up.”

you sighed. “and now that you’ve screwed it up, you think saying this will fix it?”

“i don’t know,” heeseung replied softly. “but i’m sorry. i really am. i never wanted to hurt you, and i don’t want to lose you.”

you could feel your heart cracking a little at his words. the rawness in his voice was something you hadn’t heard from him before. but the pain was still there, lingering just beneath the surface. “i can’t just forget what you did,” you said quietly.

“i know. i’m not asking you to,” he said. “i just wanted you to know that i’m trying to understand. and… i miss you.”

that last part made your chest tighten. you could hear the sincerity in his voice. you closed your eyes as your vision went blurry, taking a deep, shaky breath.

“i miss you too,” you whispered, almost hating yourself for saying it. “but i can’t keep doing this with you, heeseung." you paused, " not unless something changes.”

“i’m willing to try,” he replied, his voice thick with something that sounded almost like desperation. “i don’t know if i’ll get it right, but i don’t want to lose you.”

you sighed deeply, your mind racing with conflicting emotions.

“let’s talk tomorrow,” you finally said, your voice shaky. “when it’s not the middle of the night.”

“okay,” heeseung agreed quietly. “thank you… for picking up. i mean it.”

you didn’t reply, just ended the call and stared at your phone, heart pounding in your chest. you weren’t sure where this would lead, but for the first time, it felt like heeseung was finally seeing things from your side.

the next day felt heavy, as if the conversation had left an invisible weight pressing down on your chest. you couldn’t shake the uncertainty, the lingering question of whether heeseung’s words meant anything more than a momentary admission. he had opened up, sure, but words were easy. change wasn’t.

as you went through your routine, your phone stayed unnervingly quiet. part of you had expected a flood of messages from him, desperate to follow up on what he had said, but nothing came. and as the hours passed, doubt started to creep in. maybe last night was just a slip, a moment of weakness on his part. maybe you’d never hear from him again.

but by the afternoon, a single text arrived:

can we talk tonight?

your thumb hovered over the screen, hesitating. part of you wanted to ignore it, to shut him out for good, but something inside wouldn’t let you. you had agreed to talk. you couldn’t walk away just yet.

okay. come over at 8.

the hours crawled by until the clock finally hit eight, and you heard a knock on your door. heart pounding, you opened it to find heeseung standing there, looking more nervous than you’d ever seen him. no smug smile - just raw uncertainty in his eyes.

“hey,” he said softly, stepping inside when you moved to let him in. you closed the door behind him and led him to the living room, where the two of you sat down on opposite ends of the couch.

“so…” you started, the awkwardness hanging thick in the air. “you wanted to talk?”

heeseung nodded, running a hand through his hair as he exhaled slowly. “yeah. i’ve been thinking a lot about what i said last night... and about us. about how i’ve treated you.”

you didn’t say anything, waiting for him to continue.

“i realized… i’ve never really known how to be with someone,” he began, his gaze focused on his hands in his lap. “i’ve always kept things casual because it’s easier. you don’t have to care as much, you don’t get hurt as much. but with you, it got complicated. i didn’t know how to handle it when you wanted more from me, when you needed me to be there for you. and instead of trying to be better, i pushed you away or used you when it was convenient.”

he paused, glancing at you with a look of regret. “i messed up, y/n. i took you for granted because i didn’t know how to deal with my own feelings. i just… kept hoping you’d stay, no matter what i did. and... you did, so i always thought we were good.”

you looked down, biting your lip as a wave of emotions surged through you. for a long time, you’d held onto your own feelings, never really telling him just how much he had affected you.

“heeseung… i liked you,” you admitted, your voice quiet but steady. “i liked you for so long, probably way before i should’ve. but every time i got close to you, i ended up getting hurt. you made me feel like i didn’t matter, like i was just... there when you needed me and nothing more.”

heeseung’s face softened, guilt clear in his eyes. “i never meant to make you feel that way…”

you sighed, shaking your head. “i know. but that doesn’t change the fact that you did. i kept coming back to you, even when i knew it wasn’t good for me, because i wanted more time with you. i wanted to believe you’d see me differently, that maybe one day you’d realize that i wasn’t just some girl to keep around when it was convenient.”

his expression twisted with regret, and he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “i wish i had seen that sooner. i really do.”

“honestly, i don’t even know why i never walked away,” you continued, your voice cracking slightly. “maybe because i liked you too much. i thought maybe if i gave you more time, more chances, you’d realize that i cared about you. but instead, i just kept getting hurt.”

the room fell into silence, the weight of your words hanging between you. heeseung ran a hand through his hair, exhaling slowly. “i know i’ve hurt you,” he said softly, his voice thick with emotion. “and i don’t deserve for you to give me another chance. but i want one. i want to try.”

you looked at him, the rawness in his voice tugging at something deep inside you. he wasn’t making excuses or brushing off what he’d done. for the first time, he was acknowledging the pain he’d caused, and that made it harder to keep your guard up.

“i don’t know if i can trust you again,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.

heeseung leaned back, his gaze never leaving yours. “i know. and i don’t expect you to. not right away. but please give me one last chance to earn it.”

“and what happens if i stay now?” you asked, your voice firmer now. “what if things get hard again? will you just push me away like you always do?”

heeseung shook his head, his expression sincere. “i don’t want to push you away anymore. i’m scared, yeah, but i want to try. i don’t want to lose you because i was too much of a coward to figure this out.”

the vulnerability in his words hit you hard, and you could feel the cracks in your walls widening. part of you wanted to believe him, to let him try, but you still weren’t sure if you could take that risk again - now that you'd finally taken a step back from him.

“i need time,” you finally said, your voice wavering. “i need to see that you mean it. i can’t just fall back into the way things were.”

he nodded, a hint of relief in his eyes. “i understand. take as much time as you need. i’ll wait.”

you stood up, needing to break the intensity of the moment. “i think we should call it a night.”

heeseung stood too, his gaze lingering on you for a moment before he nodded. “okay. thank you… for giving me a chance to explain.”

you walked him to the door, your mind still spinning with everything he had said. as he stepped out into the hallway, he turned to you one last time. his hands were itching to pull you into his embrace, to hold you close as if that could put together all of the pieces he broke. but he didn't move; he would be okay with just the chance you gave him, the chance he didn't even deserve, and he woulnd't mess it up. “goodnight, y/n.”

“goodnight, heeseung.”

‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ♡ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ♡ ‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍

© dazzlingjaeyun, 2024. please do not copy.

join my taglist here

[dmc-tings]

This is a bit of an alternate to the Long Lost Baker with the Four Lords request you had where, instead of the reader learning about what happened to their family after their deaths, Miranda brings Eveline to the village in hopes of using her as a vessel for Eva; Evie agreeing to come only if Miranda agrees to bring her family, i.e. Mia and the Bakers, along too and they find out that way. I’m not sure how Joe would fit into this but if you can figure out how to do it then I’ve got mad respect for you.

This one made me brain go brrr. Hope you enjoy it! I deadass fought with myself to get Joe to fit into this! Hope I did the homie justice. I did this as if the Bakers weren't infected with the mold. Hope that was ok

Alcina Dimitrescu

Mother Miranda had called a meeting

Apparently this little girl was the thing she wanted to use to bring her daughter back

It didn't mean much to her, the man-things could do as they pleased

So as long as they didn't disturb her Love

She accepted taking all of the Bakers into her castle

Making sure to keep them "safe" from her and her daughters

And promising not to eat them

To which she gave the maids the job of tending to them

And keeping them away from you

Which she did very well

You never questioned her after the meetings

And she never questioned you about your past

Until... one day... Chaos ensued, in the Castle Dimitrescu

Jack, Joe, Ethan and Lucas had gotten a hold of some gunpowder

And where currently blowing shit up

Alcina and her daughters at the front lines trying to calm the families: both the Bakers and Winters

You were told to stay in Alcina's chambers

Which you ignored, rushing to the fight

"HOLY SHIT!! THEY GOT (Y/N)!!" Lucas screamed, seeing you behind the ferocious Draculina

You quickly stepped inbetween the fighting men and vampires

"WOAH! WOAH!!" You calmed the two sides

"Darling, these MAN-THINGS-"

"Their my family. Alcina. Please calm do- Lucas!! Don't throw that pipe bomb!!"

You got the two sides to lower their hackles

And finally explained, the dynamic to them all

Eventually Jack and Joe, exchanged a look

"Well... I suppose I should thank ya for keepin my little one safe."

Alcina gave a scoff, "I knew nothing of you all and couldn't care... but..."

After a glance at you, she gave Jack a silent nod

After sighing with relief, you sat back in your chair, your families now calm

For now

Angie and Donna Beneviento

The pair stared at the little clan of people standing before them

Thanks to Angie's mouth, they where incharge of these people

Yes there was plenty of room in the estate for them... but...

How the hell were they supposed sneak these people past you?!

Donna looked at the doll, "Angie."

Angie waved her hand at Donna, "Its Fine! We got this!"

Joe made a face, then looked at his brother

"I have no clue..."

Lucas made his way forward, being sure to shove Ethan out of his way

"What the hell are you? Some kinda animatron?" He tried to poke at the doll

Receiving a smack on the hand

The pair led them to the estate

"Do not be loud." Donna warned, as you were supposed to be asleep

Which you where not, instead you wanted to surprise the woman with breakfast

Donna paused, making a face, no one could see

You smiled at her, "Donna!" You beamed, "I made-"

You stopped, looking at your family behind her

Zoe, who was standing awkwardly, holding her arm

Lucas, wandering around the living room

Jack and Marguerite standing side by side, wide eyed at you

And Uncle Joe, getting his cybernetic arm ready to blast the doll and doll maker away

You stepped infront of Donna, half shielding her and half trying to reach out to your family

"Momma? Daddy?" You struggled to keep yourself calm

Marguerite reached out to you pulling you close to her

The rest of thr Bakers' formed a protective hug circle around you

Only to be interrupted by Angie

"OI! GET YOUR HANDS OFF THEM!! THATS OURS!!"

Donna silenced her with a look

The moment tears formed in your eyes, Donna knew these people ment something to you

Though the Winters' stood nearby, awkwardly

Salvatore Moreau

Oh my damn.

What the ever-livng hell was he supposed to do with these, angry people?

He stood in the church, alone with them

Mother Miranda gave him the responsibility of watching over these people

He wanted to make her proud of him...

But didn't want you in any harm...

'FUCK' he thought, leading them to the Reservoir

Normally you where in the caves, chatting to a lycan or two

But TODAY, had to be the day you stood at the gates, ready to show him whatever shiney thing you found

As he opened the gates, you practically jumped into his arms

"Love! I found this miraculous thing!" You flashed the shiney in his face

Ignoring the group of people following him

He smiled at you happy that you had found something amazing!

The Bakers' stood wide eyed at you

"(Y/N)?" Jack took a cautious step forward, careful not to disturb you

You looked your father up and down, not recognizing who he was

"Yeah, hi how ya doing." You said then turned your attention back to Moreau

Lucas pushed his way forward, "(Y/N)!! It's us your family!!"

You looked up at the yelling man, your face scrunched up, then it hit you!

"Lucas!?" Then you looked at your family one at a time, drinking in the fact that their alive and ok

Then you spotted the Winters', "Ion know yall tho..."

Moreau smiled at you, "So these are you family?"

You nodded, you both had a conversation about them before hand.

Soon everyone was safe, in the caves and your fish man welcomed everyone!

Though they had a bit of time accepting the odd looking being

Lucas was the most accepting

Karl Heisenberg

Well shit...

'FUCK that giant Bitch, and fuck the Miranda bitch too.' He grumbled walking with the two families back to the Factory

He got tricked into taking in the Winters' (which was a plus for him) and the Bakers'

He didn't have a plan for the latter, but he WAS getting pretty pissed at the stares the families gave him

Joe, Jack and Ethan walked in the inside, creating a sort of barrier for the women

Lucas, whom didn't care one way or another, was taking in the scenery

Once he reached the Factory, he stopped, standing in front of the doors

"Look," he started, "I have someone very important to me living here. You hurt them, ill add your corpse to my army."

He didn't wait for an answer and opened the doors, calling our for you

"Kitten? I'm back an-"

You rushed down from upstairs, you had already seen your family from the window

Karl let out a surprised yelp when you did so

You threw yourself into your father's arms

"(Y/N)!?" Jack shouted, as he wrapped you in a protective hug

You ugly sobbed in his arms, not letting him go

The rest of your family, hugged or rubbed your back comfortingly

Karl stood to the side, eyeing the Bakers' surrounding you

He didn't know what to do, or how you knew these people

You finally calmed down enough to hug everyone in turn

Karl cleared his throat, "Kitten? You have-"

You cut him off, explaining that these people where your blood family

And that you had been missing them for a while

Karl lit a cigar, deep in thought

This... this had worked out for him...

And you

He took it as a win, and gratefully took the brownie points

[7-oh-ta1]

When u have an APA paper due tomorrow and you’ve been staring at a blank doc for six hours waiting for it to write itself

[bellylivesthepoguelife]

sleepover. John B x Sarah

Request: [anon] “Sleepover? Please?” With Jarah B??

Word Count: 739

The one good thing about being a kook, having a family with loads of money, (really just living on Figure Eight in the first place) was that when the power went out, there was always a backup generator to allow the air conditioner to run constantly. This was especially appreciated in the weeks that followed Agatha completely uprooting the Outer Banks.

Currently, the couple from opposite ends of the island were sitting in the livng room of the Tanny Hill Plantation where the air conditioner pointing toward the couch was running full blast. Neither had said anything in a moment, but the silence was soon broken by a contented hum coming from one Sarah Cameron.

"This is nice."

John B made a sound of agreement, turning his face toward her without opening his eyes. "Turns out dating the Kook Princess really does come with perks."

She scoffed at him, gently pushing his head away, knowing his sense of humor by now that she knows there's no truth behind the statement. "Shut up."

There's another few moments of contented silence. Both are too busy soaking up the cool air to even consider thinking about tainting it with their hot breath.

"Wanna go to the beach?"

If there's one thing Sarah has learned in the last few weeks of being with John B, it's that the boy doesn't like to sit still for long. There's always an adventure to go on, plans to be made, and something to do.

"I thought we were going to stay in tonight?" The sun was already trekking it's path toward the western sky, and while the thought of cooling off in the ocean was appealing, the thought of spending one of the rare nights they got alone not taking advantage of it seemed borderline criminal.

"Well, yeah, we can, I was just thinking maybe going to the beach before I went home would be nice."

"What do you mean 'go home'." She sat up straight, taking full offense to the fact that he'd want to waste this night sleeping in separate beds. "When are you going home?"

John B knew he had said the wrong thing, and not knowing how to backtrack, decided to attempt honesty instead. "I was planning on going home after we went to the beach, if we were going to go."

"Why would you want to go home?!"

His nervous laugh said everything. "I feel like 'because that's where I live?' is the wrong response here?"

Sarah couldn't contain the hurt she felt by him planning on leaving all along, so she masked it by rolling her eyes and wandering into the kitchen for a glass of water.

"Sarah,"

He's going to try and grovel was the only thought that came to her mind. "No, it's fine, John B. If you want to go home, you're more than welcome, too." She tried not to come across as snarky, but unfortunately, sometimes when she attempts to mask her hurt, that's how it comes across.

"I didn't want to assume that you'd want me to stay." He runs her hands up and down her arms, hoping that the physical touch calms them both. "I didn't want to overstep, and I wanted to give you a way out."

She narrowed her eyes at him, trying to gauge if he was telling the truth.

"Really."

"Yes, really!" His eyebrows shot up in defense. When all you did was look at him, he tried again. "I really do want to spend time with you. You think I'd turn down a chance at getting to spend the night with you?"

"You seemed pretty intent on it." Her smile let him know she was teasing. For the most part.

"I promise I was only trying to give you an out if you were uncomfortable."

"Well maybe I don't want you to spend the night now."

He knew she was teasing him, so he stuck his bottom lip out a little bit.

"Pleeeeeease? Sleepover?"

She rolled her eyes again. "Okay. You can stay on one condition."

"What's that." He knew better than to accept her terms without knowing all of the conditions.

"We need to build a blanket fort in the living room, and I get to be the little spoon."

He immediately agreed. "Deal." He kissed her quickly to seal it before she could add on anything else. "You grab the blankets, and I'll start moving the chairs."

[carpedeb]

Deb brought the half full cup of coffee back to the kitchen and placed it out the counter. She was on her way back to the bedroom when she had to instead run the bathroom and throw up. She regretted the night before, the amount she had drank and she felt the old Deb coming back. The one Alex had turned her into and the one she didnt like. The one Liam had banished for a long time. When she was done she brushed her teeth and headed back to bed where she fell asleep quickly.

The days the followered were the hardest so far and Deb was struggling to find some control of her life somewhere. She felt like her life was always being dictated by other people and she was tired of feeling like a pawn in game like the ones she played with her friends. On Christmas morning Leia was waiting impatiently by the door and before Liam had even taken a step in she was asking, "mommy made us wait for you. Can we open presents now?" Deb walked in the livng room a few moments later already in her skin tight, knee length red dress she had brought with her for specifically for the day to wear to dinner at her parents apartment. The only things she still had to do was her make up and to out her shoes on but her hair had already been done. Eli was with her and he was freshly bathed and just in a diaper. As the kids started opening gifts Deb took a poster sized rectangle shaped present and brought it over to Liam then went to sit down on the other side of the room. She didn't say anything because she was trying her best to leave him alone per his request but she wanted him to have the gift she got for him. It was a framed piece of fan art she had commissioned right after the news was released about hil getting the role on The Witcher. It was a drawing of Liam as Geralt. In the bottom right corner it had the signature of the man who drew it and in the left corner in Deb's handwriting it said, 'Congratulations I am so proud of you! I can't wait to watch you shine and bring this character to life in your own way. I love you, -Deb'

carpedeb​:

Deb looked down sadly at her coffee when Leia asked to go out. She knew Liam wouldn’t say no and so Deb knew she was soon going to be by herself. “If you’re taking them out I guess I’ll go back to bed.” She didnt feel good and had been trying to stay up so she could be around Liam.

“Okay.” He replied. He knew that if she actually wanted to join them, she would. That she wouldn’t let the hangover just control her day. He got up from the couch. “I’ll take them out so you can rest the hangover off.” He told her before grabbing both of the kids and going into the rooms to get them dressed for the day.

[cumbercookiebatchs]

The anon about Enjolras' nephew inspired me.

When the call comes in, they are making out heavily on the couch. Grantaire has Enjolras pinned down, holding his wrists above his head with one hand, while his other hand has found its way under Enjolras shirt. Grantaire smiles and pecks Enjolras cheek lovingly, making his boyfriend chuckle, and resumes kissing Enjolras' cheek.

Then the phone rings. Grantaire doesn't know which phone is it, and honestly doesn't care, but Enjolras is curious and moves his head away to break the kiss.

"We should check," he says just before gasping as Grantaire bites his neck. He gulps. "It could be important."

"I don't care" Grantaire growls, the phone stops vibrating and he happily continues to trail kisses down Enjolras' neck. The phone rings again.

"Stop, please." Enjolras says.

Grantaire does, he frees Enjolras wrists from his hold, and sits back up.

Enjolras smiles at him, and pecks him on the lips. "Thank you."

And Grantaire smiles too, he holds Enjolras hand and kisses it lightly. Enjolras picks up the phone that's been ringing, his.

"Hello Mathilde!"

Enjolras talks for a while with his sister in law, she is very talkative, but also a very likable person. She asks about Grantaire, "He's here, being a nuisance" Enjolras answers, but Grantaire steps close to the cellphone to say hi too.

The conversation drifts to something Grantaire can't really follow, until he hears a name.

"And how's Lucien?" Enjolras asks eagerly.

Lucien is Enjolras three-years-old nephew. He's as blond as his father and his eyes are as brown as his mother's. He is the apple of Enjolras' eye. He hasn't met Lucien yet, but he loves the kid. It reminds Grantaire of his own relarionship with his nieces, God he loves his girls, so maybe that's why he accepts when Enjolras face lights up and asks him if he's okay with Lucien spending the weekend with them. It's just a boy, and Grantaire is way too in love with Enjolras.

...

Grantaire is smiling so hard he feels his face will split in half. Enjolras just finished "childproofing" their house, and they are patiently waiting for Henri and Mathilde to drop Lucien off. Grantaire even helped Enjolras make a list of things they can do: go to the park, watch movies, play with toys, blow bubbles–

The doorbell rings, and Enjolras jumps off the couch while Grantaire chuckles fondly.

Enjolras opens the door and a little boy with golden curls rushes to his feet. "Hi baby! Oh I've missed you so much!" Enjolras cooes and the child in his arms laughs and kicks his legs in excitement.

Grantaire greets Mathilde and Henri, and the three of them watch Enjolras and Lucien engaging in conversation about how cool astronauts are.

"Say bye bye to Maman and Daddy!" Enjolras says, and Lucien happily obliges. "Bye bye!"

"Bye bye my love!" Mathilde and Henri wave and Grantaire closes the door.

Enjolras sets Lucien down so he can explore the house, and the kid is quick to take his toy train for an intergalactic ride in the living room.

"And and—whoosh!"

"What makes "whoosh"?"

Lucien thinks. "Eh... the alien,"

"The alien?!" Enjolras gasps.

Lucien nods excitedly and starts to run again around the table in the livng room. Grantaire comes back to the couch with two cups of coffee and after kissing Enjolras temple, he joins him in the couch.

"You guys are having fun?"

"Oh, lots of fun, right Lucien?"

"My train can go faster than the alien!"

"I bet it does." Enjolras chuckles and Grantaire loves to see that smile on Enjolras face. He reaches for Enjolras and set him in his lap, and his boyfriend just snuggles deep in his chest.

This is nice, Grantaire thinks as he kisses the back of Enjolras hair. Very nic–

And suddenly Lucien starts to cry and Enjolras is on his feet in a second.

"Hey, what happened baby? Shush, Uncle Jo is here"

Enjolras craddles Lucien in his arms and he crying is over. "Are you hungry? Do you want choccy milk?"

The toddler pouts and nods, and Enjolras goes to the kitchen with him. Looking back, Grantaire should've noticed that red flag.

...

By Sunday morning, it was clear something was wrong, and it honestly didn't take rocket science to realize that Lucien and Grantaire didn't get along.

Grantaire tried to be the bigger person for as long as he could, but on Saturday evening it all went to shit, because he was basically being bullied by a three-year-old. Odd, he knows.

Lucien hisses and Grantaire pouts. Lucien bites and Grantaire complains and they woke up in the morning all in the same bed, Lucien and Grantaire still fighting for the one thing they were craving of: Enjolras attention.

"I'm going to shower" Enjolras announces after breakfast. "Alone." He says, looking pointedly ar both Lucien and Grantaire, that wouldn't leave his side.

"Try to get along, okay? For me?" Enjolras bats his lashes at Grantaire and kisses him, and then ruffles Lucien's hair and kisses his cheek.

"Okay buddy," Grantaire sighs and forces a smile "why don–"

Lucien throws his oatmeal at Grantaire, and laughs.

Grantaire cleans his face with a napkin, and takes deep breaths. It's just a kid, it's just a kid...

...

Enjolras realizes he's been left alone with two toddlers, pouty, misbehaving and attention seeking toddlers.

Grantaire and Lucien are sitting both in the couch, both pouting, arms crossed and as far as they can be from one another.

Enjolras stands in the middle of the living room, and both boys look up at him, asking him to choose. Enjolras comes closer to Grantaire, cups his cheek with one hand, and kisses him softly. Grantaire growls, almost victoriously, but Enjolras' lips leave him way too soon.

He's up again, and takes Lucien in his arms. The little boy sticks his tongue out to Grantaire, but quickly hides his face in his unlce's neck when Enjolras' clears his throat.

He approaches Grantaire again, Lucien still in his arms, and slowly, sits until he's comfortably seating in Grantaire's lap. He can see Lucien hissing at a pouting Grantaire, and Enjolras laughs. They watch a movie, and soon enough, both Grantaire and Lucien fall asleep.

"I love you." Enjolras says to both of them.

OH MY GOD MY HEART 😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[dimitrescus-bitch]

Dyeing (Shotzi Blackheart x Reader)

The amount of noise that Shotzi was capable of making while doing seemingly mundane and fairly quiet things was truly amazing. Bringing bags in from the car was not a necessarily noisy task, but you were able to hear Shotzi from the other side of the apartment. At first you’d ignored it because you were pretty used to that, but then she was making noise as she was doing something else. You couldn’t identify the task by what she was saying, dropping, and maybe breaking, so you went out the living room. 

“What’s all this?” you asked as she kept pulling things out of a bag. You saw a bleach kit and several different boxes of hair dye. A couple were hers, but the others were not her normal vibrant green. “Gonna change your hair?” 

“No, we’re changing yours,” Shotzi said and you remembered the conversation you had the other night. “When you said I could dye your hair next time we do mine.” 

“Babe, I was drunk,” you said and she pouted at you. You looked away from her, but she climbed up onto the couch and pulled you towards her. You kept your eyes away from her face, but she started kissing all over your face. You giggled and she pulled you onto the couch, pinned under her. 

“I even got you the nice bleach and conditioner to make it nice and soft after,” Shotzi said and you sighed. She took that as your defeat and then started to get your bleach ready. She set several timers all over the house and then put the bleach on your hair. 

“God I have too much trust in you,” you said once she was finished. 

“Probably, yeah.” Shotzi handed you a container of her dye to put on. The two of you put a movie on that neither of you paid any attention to. Shotzi’s dye had to be on for less time than your bleach did, so she took her shower and then you rinsed the bleach out. When you got back into the livng room, Shotzi was sitting with all the dyes out and coloring in a coloring book. 

“Alright you weirdo, what color are we doing?” you asked and Shotzi closed her eyes and threw a crayon at the table. It landed near a purple, which she picked up. You let her put the dye on your hair and you watched her color while your dye set in. “So, this is an interesting experience.” 

“Do you want a page?” Shotzi asked and you shook your head. “Okay then, but it’s pretty fun. Very relaxing.” 

“I’ll keep my relaxing in the ring,” you said and Shotzi kissed your forehead. 

“That dye smells good.” 

“Hopefully it looks good.” The timers went off soon after that and you went to wash your hair. You put in some product and then blow dried your hair. Once it was dry, you went back to the bedroom, where Shotzi was laying down. You dove into the bed and barely missed hitting your head on her knee. 

“Close one,” she said and you scrambled up to lay your head on her shoulder. She took a picture of the two of you and posted it on Instagram. “Your hair looks nice.” 

“Thank you, I’ve got a great stylist,” you joked. “Although she can be a little rough with the brushing sometimes.” 

“You like it a little rough,” Shotzi said to defend herself. “I like to make everything a pleasurable experience for you.”

[apenapaperandadoofus]

what about the RFA walking in on MC jamin our to her music like full on dancing and singing

OHHH ANON YOU DONT KNOW HOW LONG IVE IMAGINED THIS SORT OF SCENARIOOOO

I want to make a one shot of Saeran with this and the song So Close from Enchanted, so if you guys want I could do it as a 200 follower special? Of course I’m always up for suggestions!

Also I wanted to do some of them with a specific song, so I hope you won’t mind (⌒・⌒)ゞ

(they’re from my spoti playlist, and if you want to listen to them feel free to do it! They’re some of my favorite songs :P) I’m sorry if some of them aren’t like super rock style, if you want me to make it more that way I’d be more than happy to do it! They were the songs I was listening to while writing it! And if you heard them I feel like it’d help with the experience! Of course only if you want :)

RFA reaction to see the MC singing and dancing:

Zen:

He had come early from work that day. He opened the door silently, since he wanted to surpirse you.

Zen looked for you in your bedroom, but when he saw you weren’t there he slowly made his way to the kitchen. And as he was about to jump out to hug you he heard you sing.

He stopped, and hid in the wall, slowly peeking to take a look at you.

There he saw you dancing along to the song “once upon a dream” from the Sleeping Beatuy

He smiled as he saw you sing and twirl around.

And then, when Prince Phillip’s part came, he smoothly made his way towards you and grabbed your hand

You squealed but then slowly smiled as you realized that it was Zen!

The both of you danced around the room, singing and laughing until the song ended

Then he gave you a kiss

“That was really beautiful babe~ Your singing voice is absolutely incredible.”

Yoosung:

Yoosung was studying in his room while you were cleaning the place up a bit

When he finally stood up to stretch and take a break he heard some music coming from the living room

As he slowly went outside he saw you happily dancing around and singing to one of your favorite songs

It was called Stutter, by Marianas Trench, and he absolutely loved how happy you looked dancing around the room

At one point you will see him and you will grab him by the hand, pulling him to dance with you

No matter how tired he had been before, being with you and hearing you laugh made him much more energized, enough to twirl you around and sing at the top of his lungs!

Jaehee:

It was late, and Jaehee was taking out the trash while you cleaned the shop

She took a bit because one of the neighbors started talking with her, and they gave her some food that they had apparently made too much of

You would always tease her telling her that the neighbor had a crush on her, and you thought it was absolutely funny because Jaehee did not swing that way

So she was all yours ;D ain’t no neighbor taking her away from you

When she finally went inside, she heard some music.

She was going to go and change, but she wanted to see what you were doing.

There she saw you singing along loudly to the song Better Than Love, by Hayley Kiyoko

She smiled as she saw you dance with the mop in your hand, using it as a microphone

She just couldn’t help standing there to look at you

When you were done she clapped and you séqueles

“J-Jaehee?! Since when were you standing there???!”

She will smile and give you a chaste kiss

“The whole time. You’re an amazing dance Y/N, please show me some of your moves next time!”

Jumin:

He was flooded with work, so that day you decided to not wake him up and make him breakfast as a surprise!

So you got to work, with your favorite music playing in the background.

When Jumin turned around to hold you tight,like he always did, he found you weren’t there and he bolted up.

But he heard someone in the kitchen, and he let out a relieved breath as he realized that it was you.

He made his way to the kitchen, were you were slowly moving your hips and singing

He loved you so much

He smiled as you moved your head and sang along to I Hear a Symphony by Cody Fry (it’s such a good song oml the piano and the violins and omg I love it pft)

Then he slowly made his way to you and hugged you from behind.

You gasped, but then you turned around and leaned into Jumin

There he held you tight and danced a little waltz with you

He twirled you around, and you both looked at each other with loving eyes

Jumin kept his lips on top of your forehead, smiling the whole time

Afterwards you both went for a few dances more, and he felt so happy when he ate the breakfast you made

It was delicious!

Saeyoung:

He was looking for you to show you a funny cat video

When he saw you in the livng room, doing some laundry

Or well, trying to do laundry, since the clothes were thrown off to the side while you were loudly singing to Somebody To Love by Queen

Saeyoung immediately put his phone down and leaned against the wall, smiling as he watched you happily dancing all around and moving your head like crazy in a rockstar kinda way

Then, when the guitar solo came in, he joined you, strumming an invisible guitar

You giggled and sang next to him

Soon enough, the two of you were screaming the lyrics

Then you both got on top of the couch and jumped up and down as the bridge came

You both looked at each other, smiling, adrenaline pumping in your veins

Then you both tried to reach the super high note (and failed)

And afterwards Saeyoung helped you get down and hugged you close, singing the close in your ear while the two of you swayed back and forth

Afterwards he will show you the cat video, and then he will join you in procrastinating folding the laundry and singing along to your music

[deathofbat]

Fanart dosent belong to me it belongs to oursweetescape.this is just a fanfic story.

apokolips war did not happened.

Raven was turning 23 today. She left titans and lives now in metropolis. She has a fiancee name Jack. Her life was doing great until on her birthday eveything changed.

Jack:So who are you going invite to tour birthday,I hope no ex boyfriend.

Raven:you know just my dad and my uncle john the usual .

Jack:Why dont you tell me from your past?

For christ sake we want to get married some times dont we and start a family.

Raven:It is my birthday and cant you not ruin it.Im going to see my dad at daily planet.

See you later.

Jack:Talia wait im sorry.

Raven lefts the house.she changed her name,her identity for a better life. After she left titans clark kent adopt her and took her and raised as her own.she sees him as her father that she never had and john Constantine helped her with her dad trigon and her magic .she sees him as a uncle.

She walks to the daily planet looking for clark but she cant see him. she calls him .

Raven:Dad where are your right now?

Clark:I'm at Gotham,i have some business here.

Raven:Oh sorry didn't know.

Raven can hear batman saying to clark:Do it or i do it.

Raven:Do what?

Clark:Im sorry i call you later .

Raven gets confused. Clark always tells her everything he trusts her but in batcave He is responsible for something big that will change ravens life.

In batcave=

Clark:Are you our of your mind i cant tell her to come here its her birthday.

Bruce:I can prepare her birthday party right now and i already sent a jet to pick her up they will be here for one hour so i hope you are ready to tell her.

Clark:Goddammit bruce this all your fucking fault.

Bruce:My fault? I didn't took a half demon in my home as my daughter. I told you the first day of this situation. If you cant handle it then let me handle or i find someone that can handle it for you.

Clark:I know i know im sorry . Its just she is my daughter and i cant break her heart.

Bruce :I understand.

Clark:Is damien going to be here ?

Bruce:No, i sent him on a hard task. He is on a boat in sea looking for croc and king shark.

Clark:does he know?

Bruce:No.

Bruce get angry and sad.he goes to alfred and talks to him about the birthday. while he does now clark is on the phone with raven.

Clark:Bruce wanted to get you something nice and because you are getting married soon he thought he want to see you before he goes to a long mission.

Raven:Ok i understand but why couldn't he tell us sooner?

Clark: i explain everything to you here.

Raven:ok.

Raven got in the plane and started concentrating. She was looking for someone.

She closed her eyes and started concentrating on her magic.

She saw him on the boat fighting with king shark and croc.she saw that he was bleeding.

She shouted no and jack woke her up.

Jack:is everything alright?

Raven:yes, no ,... ah i mean yes it was just a dream.

Jack:ok we are landing now get ready.

They landed and after they got in a car and drove to Wayne house.

They arrived and alfred greeted them.

Alfref:Master wayne and master clark are waiting for you lady raven follow me.

Raven started following and jack was about follow when.

Alfred:Im afraid they want to see only lady raven is a daughter father matter.

Raven:it's ok i will join the party later.

They were going to batcave and raven started a conversation with alfred.

Raven:so how you been alfred.

Alfred:oh I'm good thank you for asking.

Raven:I dont see damien around here,his bike wasn't outside too.

Alfred:oh master damien and master jason left for a mission they are sorry that they cant come to your party.

Yesterday at batcave=

Bruce: i need you to distract him tomorrow night.

Jason:For how long?

Bruce:All night.

Jason:what do you think the witch do when she finds out. She will go straight to him and he finds out.

Bruce:let me worry about that.

Raven arrived she went to clark and hugged him.

Raven: What it is? Why are you wanted me here?

A little girl started running to raven she was like 7 years old and hugged her and told her:

The girl:You look beautiful.

Raven:Thank you and what your name?

The girl: my name is martha and I'm 4half years old.

Bruce:Alfred could you please escort Martha wayne to the party.

Alfred:of course sir,lady Martha could you please follow me?

Martha waved and said goodbye to raven.

Raven saw damien's eyes in her.

Raven shouted angry:WHO IS SHE ?WHO IS SHE?

Clark:calm down sweet hart let bruce tell you everything.

Raven:Don't tell me to calm down who is she?

Bruce:Her name is martha wayne she is 4 years old and it's my granddaughter.

Tears started to come out of raven's eyes

Raven:who are they parent's?

Bruce:Damein and you.

Raven fell on her knees and started crying she look confused. She knew it was her daughter because of ber looks and that damien and her and a thing back in day.

Raven:but i can't remember giving birth.

Bruce:zatanna took your memory of being pregnat and having a child.

Raven:Does damien knows?

Bruce:No and will stay that way.

Raven:Why did you do this?

Bruce:you are hald demon half human and your father's are a ailen and a demon. Damien is air to being leader of league of assassins and son of Bruce Wayne and batman. Your daughter would be in danger all the time and not knowing a normal life.

I let you know this now because Martha started to ask about her parents and damien is out of control .He goes to missions like he wants to die.

Raven:I'm going to tell him and im going to have my memory back . And im going raise my daughter with damien or without damien.

Bat computer alerts bruce that damien and jason are coming back.

Raven:I want my daughter NOW.

Alfred brings martha and give it to her mother.

Raven:Martha im your mother amd you are going start livng with me.

Martha:yaay am i going to meet my dad to.

Raven:yea and we have to go now say bye to your grandfather.

Martha:bye grandfather bruce.

Bruce:Bye sweety i will see you every weekend.

Clark:raven let me help you.

Raven:I'm sorry but I'm mad at you to i just want to be alone with my daughter.

Clark:What about jack?

She took her ring off and gave it to Clark.

Raven:Tell him I'm sorry but i can't marry him.

She was about go when Jason and damien arrived.

Damien was bleeding and was looking so good.

Jason:We need help alfred prepare the medical room.

Jason carries damien to the medical room.

Raven gets worried and heals him with her healing power.

Damien:Raven what are doing here? And who is the little girl?

This was chapter one let me know shoud i continue or not?

[mindofanaturaldisaster]

People can’t change unless they themselves want it. There is beauty in the vast way people can be different they can have different ideas, opinions, attitudes, styles, mindsets and dreams. I embrace the beauty in the difference.We all have our own dreams some might be similar in some ways but each are molded to each of us. And we take certain steps to reach for them maneuver different ways depending on our way of being.

My dreams are to be happy to travel the world to have my own space aparment or house that is mine. My dreams are to manage my adult responsibilities like paying my bills. Also making time to go on adventures try new things meet people from around the world. And one of my big dreams is to be loved completely and give that same love in return preferably a single person until death do us part is shit you know the long hall. I had always dreamt of traveling the world so I took steps I joined the navy and experienced a lot and also realized if I’d be exploring the world I want to do it on MY terms no restrictions. So I decided I am going to get my passport save some money and travel when I can. It took me forever to finally travel anywhere that wasn’t in my own state. I traveled to Miami and Vegas and they were both so fun times but I realized my ultimate dream is to leave so I ordered my passport express and now that this global pandemic is starting to open up the world again I will chase that dream and use my passport and reach that goal not for anyone else but for me. And I hope to have many stamps.

I want my own space and be responsible unlike others in my family who decided to move with no money and had been evicted or are constantly struggling to pay rent. In order to do that in order to have my home my space and live comfortably. I need a good career a good job and a good flow of money that can help me pay my responsibilities and have more than enough left over to put in savings and to live my life. So I found a career that interested me which was a hard part. I went to college 4 different ones had to pause while in the navy and had to push myself so much mentally to not quit and I got my degree an internship and now Steady job offers and I have options to start my career or take my education up a notch with my masters and or possibly take advantage of a paid educational opportunity that would change my path alittle but at the end I would be an MD. I have time to choose and decide what I want for ME without pressure from anyone to decide because I need to choose something that will serve ME not anyone else. So I can have my home or apartment and no major financal stress or be drowning in bills. So I’m still reaching for that dream and I know I will get there because I want it.

I want to be loved completely for myself not for how I dress how I look what I have achieved or what can be potentially taken from me or what I can give to someone. For the person deep inside which is flawed in some ways because bobodys nerfect is ultimately a beautiful genuinely good person at the core. I have loved and been loved. But I want the that forever love. That won’t be easy as I know I have stumbled I have fallen and I’ve hurt and been hurt. But it’s what I want what my dream is, is to one day be with someone that loves me and that I love too. Slowly learning each other then livng together, Travel together and eventually way down the line get married and even further down the line when WE are both ready or at least we think we are because I hear you can Never really be ready have kids to have maybe one and to love them completely and protect them as best we can.

Love is tricky Its a complicated dance. I can love people the way I wanted to be loved. But never take the time to carefully see if the person I am giving all my love to ONE can handle the love I am giving. And TWO can handle giving me the love I want back. And the most complex thing about love is that people define it DIFFERENTLY keyword. And you can find someone who loves you and you can love them but do your visions of love match? There are different love languages too, in which people show their love and affection in different ways. which is tricky too trying to find what yours is or whichever you lean to most because even with that isn’t definite and also balancing that out with some else. I define love as this. Love is a dance it’s a balance of give and take. Not all take not all give. And even not always giving the same amount at the same time. Sometimes a partner may have days or weeks where they need a little more and vice versa. Love is respecting each other. Love is caring for each other. Love is being faithful and loyal to one another. Love is helping each other. Love is growing it’s changing and it’s about balancing the changes when they come and making sure when the waves of change come and shake things up each is willing to keep each other from drowning. Love is a commitment that shouldn’t be entered into lightly. Love is a commitment to learn the person in all their goodness and even at their worst. Love is being honest. Love is trying. Love is loving someone enough to know if you can give them what they want and knowing if they aren’t giving you what you want. love is know when you can’t give and being honest about it.

Loving people can hurt and for most people WILL at one point or another. Loving someone is knowing how to love yourself. Because with out love for yourself how do you know If you are really even being loved? Some people prey on the loveless and take advantage of that for their own gain. It’s sad but true. Without love for yourself how can you tell if you are really even giving love? Without love for yourself the love given to you is a foreign language thus untranslatable. Without love for yourself it is Easy to be fooled into thinking you are being loved. And it’s easy to mold and trick people into thinking you are giving them genuine love. Being without love for yourself can make it so you actively do things that harm yourself. You can surround yourself with harmful people or put yourself in harmful places.

So I want to love myself which I thought I was doing just fine but realized I need more work. More work to fight the demons that can change my whole person. That make me angry with the people around me. The demons that don’t want me to have love to be happy. I have to constantly talk about my issues (with professionals) and uncover all my skeletons and face all my issues. I need to change my own harmful behaviors and habits that reenforce hurt. I had and realized that some part of me deep inside wants me to hurt wants me to struggle and I have to take my time to relearn how to be. So that part of me changes and doesn’t exist anymore. I do that by knowing what I want. I want to be happy, and I want to be loved and love in return. So even if it scares me and makes me uncomfortable and leaves me so far out of my comfort I want to get there . Because sadly being hurt and hurting is my comfort I push people away when I’m scared I argue and try to find reasons why the love and happiness I’m feeling aren’t real. I dig and look for things that can potentially hurt or end up hurting people in the process. I’ve gotten comfortable being alone because I know how to hurt me the best. And I’ve gotten good and pushing people away. Because I don’t want them to see me or know that I hurt myself or I didn’t want to be so vulnerable and let them hurt me. It’s control & pain. I both things I still actively need to work on.

So I will change Me. Changed the bad habits I learned. Changed the things I had gotten used to doing that would cause the same results. Let go of the things I cling to because with attachment comes pain. And I will change me because that’s the only thing I can do to get to my picture of happiness which can also change with me.

I will remove constantly negative people who drain me of my energy. I will remove myself from harmful scenarios and harmful people because although I do see good in people and try to give people chances. Others don’t think the same and others wouldn’t think twice before saying something or doing something that would hurt me. So I can be kind but I will protect myself at all cost. I will remove myself from people content with having no dreams or ambitions. I will remove myself from Those content with coasting through life with dreams they will never even try to chase or ideas or goals they have but never try for. I will remove myself from people who expect the world handed to them without even trying to put in effort. I will remove myself from people who have given up on themselves, because I want everyone to try and I have used up my energy trying to motivate inspire and encourage people who just don’t see it in themselves. As much as it pains me not to try and hold on to hope for them it cost me my energy and time and I can’t be wasteful with such precious things and I cannot waste it trying to encourage change in someone not willing to live for themselves.

I will surround myself with people who are dreamers even if they have dreams some might consider crazy they still have dreams aspirations and goals for themselves and for the future and are actively trying to reach them. want the people around me to be dreamers. I want the people I love in my friendships and in romance to have ambitions and always be reaching towards them even if they stumble or take a break for themselves at times they never give up and they always get up and keep reaching. I will always be a dreamer I will always be someone who fights for myself with myself to change and get to my goals and dreams that will always be me. That is me. My best friends have been and now will always be dreamers. the woman who comes into my life that I will want to spend my life with will be a dreamer who doesnt give up who doesn’t need to be taken care by me or anyone. She will be a fighter for herself and her dreams.

I will continue dreaming and reaching for my goals for happiness and for ME.

[paxa-est-2019]

Hallmark has LIED to y’all. There is nothing cute, romantic, or even remotely interesting about livng in a small town.

I’ve lived in a small town my ENTIRE life. I moved from a small town in one state, to a small town in another state.

Small towns are like fish bowls. You can’t escape. Sure, you might see a fish jump out every so often, but then you never hear or think about the fish again, and you’re still stuck in the tank.

I could go to our local McDonald’s right now and tell one of the employees that I have cold sore, by tomorrow is would have gotten around town that I told them that I have herpes and even who I got it from.

Every word you say, every action you make, SOMEONE is literally watching you, and don’t think for a moment that if you made a mistake that someone didn’t see it and they didn’t go and tell EVERY person they know.

My ex abuser lives in the same town as me. He grew up here, I didn’t, so I suppose it’s not fair of me to want HIM to leave, but I wish it none the less.

I can’t go to the grocery store because I’m afraid of running into him or any of his family.

I can’t go to friends party’s because I never know if he will just show up. (Small town, same friend group).

I can’t walk out of my house without feeling like someone is just waiting for me to fuck up so they can go and tell my business to everyone.

You might think “ why would anyone care that much “. I used to ask myself that a lot. I STILL don’t know the answer, but I do know that it STILL happens.

The only reason I do know is because they have LITERALLY nothing else to do, except talk, and do drugs.

The closest movie theater is 30 minutes away, the closest clothing store is also 30 minutes away, and the closest child entertainment (I.e. bowling, skating, arcades) is all 30 minutes away.

Small towns aren’t quirky and they should definitely not be glorified.

They are torture on your mind, your body, and your soul.

I’d rather live in a huge city with millions of people who don’t even have time to glance my direction then to live in a town I can actually breathe in with people who suffocate the life out of me.

Small towns are a place you go when your old to settle down. NOT a good place to start a family though. Unless you want your family to be close minded, and on drugs. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[reyneclaw]

mondays suck. wednesdays suck too. the hardest day in this schedule. should probably reschedule the therapy appointment, classes end at 17.50 it starts at six. honestly, it would be a good idea to talk through that trauma with her. im sitting here like why on earth, that’s not fair. why? to see all that rain, get dripping wet and fleetingly happy? thank, nice rain, love it, that’s not meant as sarcasm i really love rain they say, once you’ve been livng in spb long enough you grow gills. but... doesn’t cut it. i’d prefer to sleep. those classes are boring as hell and the whole attitude is toxic. how’s your health, money, thesis, text back we’re worried. um, you can’t just say mom everything sucks no you can’t help. they’d be worried even more. i don’t want to disappoint them. i’ll have to support my family when i grow up, for that i need a good job, for a job i need a degree. it’s that simple. except i’m too freaking sick to get a degree. i don’t want to have this conversation, i don’t want this responsibility, i never asked for that. nope not today you gotta live on? are you kidding me. would’ve been so much easier. who cares if it hurts, who cares if you don’t get killed that would’ve at least cancelled the degree problem altogether, then you get to lay down stare at a wall and do nothing... you’re also a financial and emotional burden on your family though... 

[thecarnivorousgaze]

The Problem with Pornography

Let me start by saying this is no means meant to shame those who work in the sex industry. Sex work is real work and I respect that and all those who have ever done it. 

Porn is an issue I have always been torn on. One the one hand there are sex workers to do this to make a livng, and it is something which they enjoy. That isn't something I would ever want to take away from someone. However, pornography has such a dark side to it. So much abuse happens behind the camera that we simply cannot know about from consuming a video. I want to support my fellow women who make a career out of it, but I just cannot get behind the exploitation of women which is so common in this industry. So now I will talk about the darker side of porn which most people don't see. The animal abuse that exists within the pornography business is a problem which runs rampent. Just because you don't see it doesnt mean it isn't there. So much porn depicting women doing sexual acts with animals exists. It's disturbing, and hard to believe but it is true. All too often women are stuck in positions where they are held captive by their abusers. And with the threat of death many women are forced to comply with whatever their abuser forces them to do. If it is to let a snake slither into her vagina then so be it. She has no choice if she wants to live. Pornography depicting women having sex with almost everytype of animal exists. And that's not where this problem ends. There is another category of porn called ? shows women, often in heels crushing animals to death. There are few things I can think of that are more twisted and sick than this. These animals, in all their innocence, are murdered for the pleasure of men. Once again the lines between animal and sexual satisfaction are blurred. The men who view these types of porn get off on animals. So just as the carnivorous gaze exists in relation to meat, it is present here as well. Men see the women and the animals in these videos as something which they can control. This is done for their pleasure, their consumption. Until this porn is cracked down on and destroyed, this problem continues to manifest. So this is why I cannot support porn. Regardless of the positives it may have for some, too many women are exploited into making these types of videos. Remember this next time you visit your favorite site. You have no idea what else could be on there and what you are really supporting.

[elocinnicole]

I saw this prompt and I absolutely love it!! So I had to write a quick drabble,

“On a scale of one to ten, how angry do you think Eliza is going to be?” Hercules questioned

“I don’t think such a short scale can adequately express that kind of thing, to be honest.” Alex said, he looked at what used to be the livng room in horror. He and Hercules had stepped away to Alex’s office for only a few minutes and all hell broke loose. 

Phillip had somehow found Eliza’s body oil and not only put it on himself, no, but he also got Angie, the family dog, Senior, the living room walls and furniture completely coverd in oil.

Eliza and Angelica were supposed to be back soom from their dress fitting for Peggy’s wedding, now Alex was fearing he wouldn’t be alive to witness the wedding if Eliza came home and the house was still like this. 

“Here’s what we do,” Hercules started “we clean up the kids and blame  Senior.

“How! There’s litterally hand prints on the wall!”

“Well, say the kids played in it! Look all we gotta do is have this somehwhat cleaned before Angelica and Eliza get back.

“Alright, let’s get the kids cleaned up.” Alex grabbed Phillip and Herc got Angie as soon as the two men started to make thier way upstairs, the front door swung open and there stands Eliza and Angelica.

Eliza’s eyes move from Alex and Hercules’ guilty faces, to her children, to the destroyed livng room, and then lastly to make matters worse, Senior coming running to Eliza before she gently shooed him away. 

“Betsey, that damn dog, Senior, got in the baby oil and ruined everything. Took us twenty minutes to get a hold of him.”

“Yeah, he was real slippery, even I couldn’t catch him.”

“Mommy, I put the oil on so we could be really shiny!” Phillip smiled, Alex and Hercules inwardly groaned

“I know baby,” Eliza looked at Alex for an explination.

“Babe, I only stepped away for a few minutes.”

“Just know, you’re paying to get the walls repainted. So I’m going to leave and go to Angie’s place and when I come back, I want to see everything spotless.” Eliza said calmly with a pleasant but also terrifying smile on her face.

“Sure thing, Betsey,” Eliza nodded and just like that she and Angelica were gone.

“She was pretty calm,” 

“Because I was holding Phillip, trust if I wasn’t, man I don’t even wanna know.” Alex’s phone buzzed and he saw a text from Eliza 

From Eliza: “Angie, Pegs and I are going out for dinner. Your treat. Love you babe.😊😘”

Person A: “On a scale of one to ten, how angry do you think (Person B) is going to be.”

Person C: “I don’t think such a short scale can adequately express that kind of thing, to be honest.”

[andieperrie18]

KAREN (part 2) (P.Parker x Reader )

Here it is people part two! I tried to make it as Fluffy as possible but it looked really impossible. But I hope you guys like this.

After what happened at the vault, you began to try and hang around more with Peter and Ned. You manage to balance your time. You were finished fixing the voice command for the suit. All you need to do was to install it on the suit but you needed the suit in your possesion to be able to install it.

" ughh. . . How am I gonna install it? " you said as you rubbed your face with both hands and muffled a groan.

You heard a familiar alarm beep. You immidiately rolled to turned and activated the holo screens as you placed the mic. Peter was putting on the suit.

( Time Skip. Sorry I don't know what actually happened at the boat scene fully so yeah. I haven't watch the movie yet but I am planning on watching it on youbtube. )

The incident on the boat technically was getting to Peter. He took of his mask before you could ask if he was ok. You watch him from the monitos as he sat on the edge.

" Oh Peter . . . " you mumbled.

Few moments later as you watch, Your dad arrived and began scolding the poor boy at fault. You couldn't do anything just watch as Peter said he was sorry. It angered you. The way your father thinks he is a good person.

" Ok, I think I'm gonna need the suit back. " Tony said as your eyes widen. Peter begged him not to.

" No. Please, I'm nothing without this suit. "he begged as Tony reasoned out with him again. You were had a frown as you watched the two. You wanted to comfort Peter but you can't.

Tony got home as he was greeted with a frowning you.

" Is there something wrong Sweetie? " he asked as you just called for Friday who showed a video to Tony behind you while the glare didn't leave your space. Tony gave a " uh oh " look.

" You were there? Sweetie its not nice to earsdropping in a conversation.

" don't give me that crap dad! I understand what Peter did was kinda suicide but he atleast tried to help! " you argued as Tony just walked away from you.

" I don't wanna talk about this, Y/n. "

" Dad! Don't walk away from me! Peter is right You never ever listen! Dad this is why I went to Steve's side on Germany. Dad, you maybe smart but you are still Human! Do you know how much mom worries for you when you fight evil things in the city? God! Dad please! Peter didn't mean that to happen! You are not a God! You can't stop death, you may lessen it but you are risking something. For Pete's sake Dad! I need you alive! We need you! Do you know how much Peter wants to be like you? Dad, he even wanted to be your son?! His parent died in his early age but that didn't cause him to rebel and learn to be good. You dad I Love you but sometimes I wished you weren't my dad. I can't always live up to your expectations on me cause once I fail you would disown me! " you cried as your tears fell.

" Y/n, I would never disown you- when did I- " " When I lost the world robotics contest when I was 7, you shut me out!! It took a year before you even started to talk to me again. I can't take this anymore! I'm gonna say it! I Hate You so much! " you cut him off as you dashed out of the livng room as Tony called your name. You ran to your room and changed into some jeans and sweater. You ran out of the Avengers Tower and took a cab.

You bought some ice cream and chips on your way. You now stood infront of the Parker's apartment door. You took a deep breath and knocked. A few moments the door opened.

" Oh Y/n? What are you doing here? " Aunt May asked as she opened the door. You sent her a warm greeting. " um I came to visit Peter. Is he home? " you asked. May gave you as sad nod, she knew something happened. She let you enter as she walked you to Peter's door.

" I'll leave everything to you Y/n. Thank you for coming. " May thanked with a sad smile and gave you a small hug before leaving.

You looked at the door for a solid 5 minutes before a knock.

" I not hungry aunt may. " you heard the sadness in his tone behind the doors.

" Actually, its Y/n. I came for the Star Wars Death Star lego model that Ned gave you to hide. " you lied. A few moments before sounds of foot steps made its way to the door as it opened to reveal to you a red eyes Peter. You gave him a sad smile.

" What is it? I know Ned didn't left the model here. " he asked a little straight as he looked at you in a very lifeless pair of eyes.

" Can't I just visit my Best friend? I bought Ice Cream on the way. " you teased as you lifted the white 7/11 plastic that had the gallon of Ice Cream. He sent you a sad smile as he fully opened the door a signed that you are free to enter.

" Here it comes! " you joked as You looked at the laptop screen. Peter was constantly laughing as you got off his bed and hugged one pole of his double deck.

" No Luke. I am Your Father! " Darth Vader confessed at the scene at the laptop as Peter turned his gaze from the screen to your form as you imitated Luke's signature act.

" No! . . . Thats not true! Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!! " you a screamed in a very squeaky and low voice so you wouldn't wake any neighbors. Peter just laughed at you for a good twenty minutes which you didn't really mind as long as you can keep him from crying.

" Had enough yet? " you smirked as you looked down at Peter who was holding his stomach in pain as a few laughs came out of his lips. " No more please ahah- no more - I'm ok now. Hah" he laughed out as you giggled as sat beside him in his bed. You both leaned in the wall as you two stayed silent. You saw Peter's eyes dropping in tiredness and drowsiness, which you found extremely cute because he was rubbing his eyes like a child as he yawned.

You did something that you didn't even bother thinking of the consequences. Peter felt your hand hold shoulder and head circle him as he felt you pull him against you.

His breath hitched as he felt his head resting on you below shoulders and on your chest he felt your grip tighten as he looked up at you. You had your eyes close and your smile placed on your lips.

Peter thanked God that it was dark inside the room because his cheeks just exploded red as heat radiated on them. Your hugs never felt so warm to Peter. He gave into his urge to encircle his arms on you hips graspinf your frame into a hug. You smiled as the warmth. The drowsiness didn't seem to make your mind work.

" Thanks Y/n. I really needed this. " he said as he smiled and hid his face on your neck taking in your scent. You were practically spooning him and you are the big spoon at the moment.

" Any time Parker. " you cooed and placed a kiss on his head.

That was when he finally concluded he was now in larb with you 70%.

The End or Part Three?

@o-brienwrites @cutie1364 @pammy18 @legendarydazekitten @fragilefrances @annoyingcoffeephantom @fandom-hero @sparkedflower @fandomygirl @so-many-freaking-ships @aussie-punk-rock-idiots @sparkedflower @oceanshockey @diyoceanbechup22