#i want to kill pre scratch feferi

[completelyandtotalyuneventful]

So Kankri is a bad person and sucks and is annoying and all that but honestly I think we should let him be that way a little bit.

Dude was not allowed to have a personality and a life until he was 13 years old. Kankri was literally not allowed to do ANYTHING on his own. By LAW. Who knows what his culler was like? We never MET Kankri’s culler, but judging from Kankri I think it’s safe to assume they’re (and this is nothing against Kankri we love Kankri) a monstrously stupid sewer person (that was a reference to a tiktok audio in case you didn’t get it but its also accurate to my feelings on Kankri’s childhood). 

So honestly if they guy wants to cancel people on twitter, I’m gonna let him cancel people on twitter. He was probably not allowed to openly disagree or have issue with anything the people around him said for his entire fucking life or else his life would have been hell. It’s part of the reason why he’s such a boot licker, it’s because if he wasn’t everything would suck really bad for him. I’m not excusing his actions, Kankri has said and done some pretty fucked up shit, but if he wants to be an annoying douche that enjoys cancel culture im gonna let him be an annoying douche that enjoys cancel culture.

#letKankribeapieceofshit2023

[vexwerewolf]

Actually if you want an even more controversial Homestuck hot take:

Feferi's not the uwu guiltless softgirl a lot of people make her out to be

Her lusus is her responsibility, and yet she offloads the horrific task of killing other trolls' lusii onto her moirail because she wants to keep herself morally pure and her hands clean. See, technically, Eridan killed all those guardians, not her! Nevermind that it was to keep every troll in the galaxy alive, a duty that rightfully should've been hers.

Does that entitle Eridan to her love? Of course not, nobody's entitled to love. But I think it's really telling that the moment her lusus is dead, she pale-dumps him. The frustration she felt with Eridan had clearly been building for a while, and a moirail's whole purpose is to regulate their partner's behaviour and cultivate their emotional maturity. Yes, he's a difficult person to talk to at the best of times, but he's also a thirteen-year-old raised in a turbofascist civilization, and specifically in a culture that's even more turbofascist than the rest of that civilization. It may sound harsh and unforgiving to say this, but that's something the prospective monarch of Alternia should be prepared for if she's going to pick a moirail.

Even if Feferi dumping him the exact moment she no longer needs him to enact mass murder on her behalf is just a coincidence, it's a pretty fucking awful one. If it's not, she was deliberately stringing him along and potentially even stunting his moral growth so that she had a pet killer on hand to maintain her own imagined moral purity.

Also, while her aspirations to reform Alternian society would certainly make it less of a hellscape, we have a test case for what it would look like, and it sucks. The dancestors come from a society run by pre-Scratch Feferi and while it's clearly less murdery and fascist than Meenah's regime, at least Alternia is a fascist dystopia on purpose - Beforus manages to replicate a lot of its flaws (and, crucially, none of its strengths) simply through benevolent incompetence. It treats the physically and mentally disabled as invalid in both senses of the word. It managed to produce twelve of the most unhinged and monstrously dysfunctional teenagers in the history of the multiverse - arguably even worse than their counterparts from Alternia. Kankri's pompous criticism of Beforan society is played for laughs but... uh, no, that place legitimately sucked.

Every Alternian and Beforan troll is deeply flawed, but I feel like some of them get a pass that they don't deserve, and number one on that list - I would say even surpassing the unironic cries of "Vriska did nothing wrong" - is the naive hereditary monarch who's too much of a moral coward to personally perform the one task she must do to ensure the survival of her species. In almost every other troll's case, we can make the excuse of "they had no choice" but Feferi did have a choice, and she made the fucking wrong one, which was to fob the responsibility off on someone else.

[cure-typhoon]

i apologize for the wording in that ask lol. using the lalondes as an example again but better hopefully,, kid rose is sent in place of kid roxy and the same with their guardian counterparts. so rose grows up in post apocalyptic fish land with jake, jane, and dirk, while roxy is raised by guardian rose and is friends with john, jade, and dave. you can do this with any player duo like the captors, vantas’s etc but only just them. ur just swapping them around pre and post scratch. ig the question is more what swap would u be most intrigued by :)?

OHH thank you! English is not my first language and i get confused easily! sorry :b

Let's see... I'm assuming they grow up in the alternate universe and didnt just swap places out of nowhere with all their memories and all. Sooo, i think first one would be Feferi and Meenah /The Condesce and Beforus Feferi

It's kinda hard to imagine how some characters would be in different circunstances, as the enviroment is one of the primary things that shapes a person. But I doubt The Condesce/Adult Meenah in Beforus would be the same tyrant she was on Alternia. Meenah has been shown to be cruel (with bullying Damara so extremely that Damara straight up killed her) but also as someone who cares about their friends, like when she starts crying to June about Aranea.

So I think a Condesce rulling Beforus WOULD definitly change the way it is. First I really doubt they would have the Cuddling system the way Beforus Feferi had it, as Meenah literally tried to shape her team to become stronger, in the worst way possible and she ended up failling, but at least that was her plan. So Beforus in the rule of The Condesce would probably start to become like a less hellish Alternia?

But also Meenah was shaped by Beforus Feferi and not wanting to be like her so maybe The Condesce wouldnt have a need to try to make everything harsher? I think she would just be like, Royalty who is worshippped like Gods. Maybe she pulls up fight tournaments from time to time to not get bored and to shape the Trolls to not be ''lame''. This place is probably ridden with lots of inequality, but so was OG Beforus so its not that much of a change.

Basically she would be an uninterested Ruler who is just enjoying the fruits of being basically a Goddess to her people

Feferi in the place of Meenah HMMM, okey I really doubt the condesce in beforus would try to murder her, so at least she has that (And not taking care of Gl'bgolyb). So for starters Feferi would have like 100% less pressure but I feel she would have a God Complex.

Like OG Feferi where she wanted to help people but was obviously misguided, but here I feel she would straight up be like ''I can never be wrong'' and wants to overthrown the Condesce and kill her even though she Definitly Doesnt Need To Do That. But she is sending a message and telling everyone she is changing shit, well at least that was her OG plan before starting the Game as she found a way to make her Perfect World. She is not happy for the failling. I feel she would become like OG Aranea where she tries to be more relevant, she probably was in cahoots with Aranea in this timeline, besties in crime

She would probably be super studious and involved in everything, to try to become ''The Best Ruler That Beforus Will Ever SEA 38D''

(ignore that i forgot her horns)

About Beforus Feferi in Alternia

Like I feel she wouldnt try to change things in Alternia after coming to power, like I really doubt she is a fucking Nice ruler considering how Alternia is, but I think she has her doubts of how things are like, with how much unnecesary death there is. I think she would be a harsh and cruel ruler who definitly see's Lowbloods pitfully, but when she listens to the Sufferer's speechs and decides to meet with the him in private to hear his demand, I feel that The Handmaid would frame The Sufferer as if he was trying to murder Beforus Feferi and she would quickly change her mind.

Meenah in Alternia I really doubt would be having a good time, she would have to be feeding her lusus on her own, threat of murder with her ancestor, and the general Murderland that is Alternia

I don't think Beforus Feferi left the planet in this case or maybe she is much closer than the OG Condesce, pressuring Meenah to become a fit ruler for Alternia makes Meenah stressed

Like yes The OG Condesce went through similar stuff but i feel that Meenah being younger and also being influenced by her ancestor, her friendgroup, her lusus. She just wants to dip but she CANT with her lusus possibly killing everyone so she is very glad with the game starting soon

Okey this post is getting too long im doing another one later with the other swap!

[davekat-sucks]

Slides in

You and Sylphistry forget that Eridan is also trying to escape the fate that his ancestor had, he gave away the crosshairs, (Which are probably a juju or operate on very similar rules!) and he even throws his cape off during his 'duel' with Sollux.

Given the whole ancestor worship theme in alternia, Eridan is either, not as into it as Vriska, which is weird given highbloods are implied to be REALLY into it. Or he is having what basically amounts to a crisis of faith. Eridan is said to canonically base his persona around historical figures and conquerors so dulascar might be one of those.

Probably should have actually sent that to them but I already typed this up in the askbox lmao and I only want to UM ACTUALLY once

Even though I am basically saying 'it's even worse.'

I do definitely believe it is Eridan going through a crisis of faith. Identity crisis as well if it had been further developed in since this is the same Eridan that has happy and content with being on top of the hemospectrum and still believed he and Feferi were this because of their blood. Even when they were gonna be killed by Jack Noir of all things. He still had this mindset he and sea dweller kind were above everyone else. It sucks they never explored with Eridan or other characters now that Alternia is gone, such systems like hemospectrum or old customs like quadrants or Perigee's Eve, should be tossed out. But they still hold onto it because that's all they ever known and were raised in. If they had claimed Earth as their reward like planned, would they repeat everything to make Earth Alternia 2? Or would it become something like Beforus, where even Feferi's coddling method had its own problems that lead to the Pre-Scratch Trolls to create a Scratch to make the trolls we known and love? Even now from things like Epilogues and Homestuck^2, you got things like only Jadebloods can help the Mother Grubs and the caverns. There is no other human or different blood color. Some rules of it are still implied to be there and no one can escape/change it. Some could take that Eridan trying to defy his fate and dying in the process, was Paradox Space's example that trying to be someone else is bad and you will be punished for it. Dream Bubbles would further introduce this, but Eridan Ampora is the prime example punishment from Paradox Space that if someone tries to be something else, it is wrong and will die because of it. Though it just happens that Eridan's actions would be one of the few events that NEEDED to happen to get others like Karkat, Kanaya, and Terezi to move forward in the timeline. Other Eridans that change to become a good person or reach Godtier, all die with the other trolls. Maybe their actions do not indirectly effect others like Eridan committing said wwand shooting and they still get punished for being better or something greater. It's all fucked up whichever way you look at it and I just feel so sorry for this stinky, stupid, pitiful fish.

[homestuck-iconz]

also to add onto my feferi ramble

feferi prolly has some veeeeeeeery complex emotions regarding romance? like eridan? and then sollux who is waaaaaaaay below her on the hemospectrum? and ik feferi (consciously) doesnt care abt it (luv yu foar that feferi keep it up) you can NOT tell me sje doesnt have some unconscious biases. she wss literalt pre scratch empress.so it wouldve fun to see development regarding that + parrelels w. eridan + equius (who are very similar + very different to her in terms of hemospectrum opinions in many ways)

also i want to liek turn back on the third paragraph and elabroate: from feferis perspective. the heiress to the throne. the fucking princess? yeah, not anymore youre kingdoms fucking DEAD LMAOOO GET WRECKED! oh yea, you can actually fix things and bring it back tho. you just gotta raise the entire damn bext generation of grubs + make the whole ass plabet + fuck that youre making the UNIVERSE! no big deal right? like... i see some VERY missed out oppurtunities foar connections with kanaya there.

i think i can kinda see why she was killed, since i dont think hussie rlly planned homestuck out that far in the future. so im pretty sure the condesce wasnt even a thing yet. so from that perspective, feferi was pretty useless.

but also like aughhhhh even with that perspective and removing the HIC stuff that still doesnt change... ANY of the missed potential with feferi. like the pressure, or the romance or the hemospectrum and... augh. its literally in front of you. why did she die so earlyyyyyyyy.

☣anon

she died early because hussie disliked writing her and her quirk, its why she never talked later on either at least to my understanding [which is a dumb reason but shrug]

[clariongradiation]

what's up guess who still reads homestuck in this, the year of our lord, 2020. anyway here's every homestuck character in Among Us (under the cut because i do mean every character)

John: happy-go-lucky, way too trusting. always goes off to do his tasks immediately, is usually completely oblivious to who might be an imposter. pretty good as imp, just because no one suspects him right away, but if you pay attention he never tries to fake any tasks 

Rose: makes strategic use of cams/admin table to achieve her goals, but due to this can be slow to complete her tasks. tends to filibuster the vote just because she types so much during meetings, but uses this to her advantage when she's imp to avoid getting voted out

Dave: also prefers to concentrate on tasks, but is way more observant than john. if he's sus of someone he'll follow them around to see if they're faking tasks. similar to rose, gets distracted in meetings coming up with raps instead of paying attention

Jade: likes to use the buddy system, but she'll carry it over between games so sometimes it makes her an easy target. will hang out in greenhouse/o2 when she's done with tasks. her gut sus feelings are pretty accurate in meetings, is a good imp but tries to avoid killing friends

Aradia: dgaf if she gets killed right away, will finish tasks then follow people around the map. if she’s haunting someone as a ghost they tend to get killed soon after. as imp she’s an impulse killer, but usually has pretty good timing so she doesn’t get caught in the act

Tavros: also task-focused, uses one of the little pets. has a hard time asserting himself in meetings, so even if he saw the kill he might not get around to accusing. regular victim of the imp pinning the blame on him. you can tell when he’s imposter because he gains Self Esteem

Sollux: ‘doesn’t play games for wiigglers’, but when he does he almost always wins. favors sabotages as imp, will use them to avoid meetings and get another kill. buddies up with the other imposter to get double kills, but will vote them out if they get caught

Karkat: adopts the loudest = rightest strategy in meetings. can usually be seen telling everyone to do their tasks and stop fucking around. not bad as imp, but gets flustered if someone accuses him out of the blue. sometimes gets voted out just so people don’t have to read his rants

Nepeta: master stalker, will vent kill with ruthless efficiency. always buddies up with equius, but will kill him and >:33c about it without mercy if she gets imp. draws fanart of the trolls as their among us avatars

Kanaya: precision killer, she’s slow but always makes absolutely sure she won’t get caught. extremely efficient at tasks, she’ll check on people’s visual tasks to see if they’re crew. will encourage tavros to type in meetings if he has something to say

Terezi: supreme detective, though sometimes she can get confused if her screen is too blurry. types a lot during meetings, but she’s always working around to an accusation (whether she’s imp or crew). big fan of sabotaging lights to get kills

Vriska: loud, bossy, forces votes. another impulse killer, if she gets caught killing she’ll bluster or point fingers to avoid getting accused. will randomly sabotage to throw people off. usually the one talking over tavros. has a 100% winrate if she gets imp with terezi

Equius: efficient as crew, but horrible as imp. never kills nepeta or anyone higher on the hemospectrum than him. won’t even vote them out even if he knows they’re the imp (gets too sweaty, has to find a towel, and will miss the vote)

Gamzee: will get distracted listening to game sounds or staring at the animations. if there are only a few tasks left to win, it’s a safe bet they’re his. (off sopor, he’s a ruthless killer that heavily favors venting, and is very good at deflecting blame onto someone else)

Eridan: no one likes to play with him because he always tries to turn it into some weird blackrom flirting. is a pretty good imp, but not very careful about getting caught because it’s ‘his right as a seqdwweller’. another one that gets voted out on principle (due to creepiness)

Feferi: just excited to be here, great team player. as imp she’ll kill people if she thinks they’re not doing their tasks fast enough. will apologize for kills in ghost chat if she gets voted off. almost never sabotages, but if she does it’s always one of the crises

Jane: hit-or-miss detective, good at putting cluse together but will take what people say at face value. can be pretty bossy, but you can tell if she’s imp because she doesn’t tell people to finish tasks. will vote someone out if she thinks they’re not working fast enough

Jake: like john will focus solely on tasks and be oblivious to imposters. unlike john, is bad at imp; gets stuck in his own head pretending to be a character from a movie and either doesn’t pay attention to people or forgets to do tasks. always surprised by kills, even his own

Roxy: as crew uses the buddy system, but as imp is absolutely ruthless; trust them at your own risk. great at distracting people in meetings by typing very fast. will accuse on instinct just to see what kind of reaction people have, very reliable about fixing sabotages

Dirk: another big talker, but no one ever gets what he’s talking about. sometimes gets distracted by watching cams and will forget to do tasks. is a good killer as imp, but his real specialty is getting people to think it’s someone else (either with accusations or with confusion)

Damara: completely chaotic, randomly won’t do tasks and will just follow people around. sometimes doesn’t even report bodies

Rufioh: good at encouraging crew, but pretty shy at killing. will usually skip vote if he’s imp, but is an accurate voter when crew

Mituna: single-minded focus on either tasks or killing. will ignore most sabotages, prefers to be alone unless he’s around latula

Kankri: doesn’t play as the game enforces harmful stereotypes about blood castes, culling, ableism, death, space travel, aliens, etc.

Meulin: always partnered with Kurloz, like nepeta is an excellent imp but can be distractable as crew. sometimes forgets to type during meetings

Porrim: extremely good at tracking what people are doing, will call out imposters that try to fake tasks, is Here for the Drama

Latula: runs around a lot, does tasks randomly, will follow mituna around to keep an eye on him, revenge kills imps that killed him earlier

Aranea: big talker, though she’ll get cut off by meenah. will buddy up to do tasks, but is also good at helping the other imp by sabotaging

Horuss: honestly pretty average, sometimes he wins and sometimes he loses. tends to ignore chat from those lower on the hemospectrum

Kurloz: never talks, seems to appear randomly around the map even if he can’t vent. usually hanging around meulin, even if one of them is the imp and the other is crew

Cronus: no one likes to play with him because he’s annoying, a creep, and an ass. usually voted off first on principle

Meenah: chaotic killer, will target one person then follow them around. doesn’t like doing tasks, but can be hassled into it by aranea. impulse votes in meetings

Calliope: helpful, full of headcanons, buddies up with Roxy. ifa  lot of people are talking she’ll stay quiet, but has a lot of opinions and advice if asked. absolutely abysmal at imp (pre-scratch self is quieter, a solo player, and extremely good as imp)

Caliborn: loud, annoying, rage quits, tries to cheat. very easy to tell when he’s imp because he’ll act all superior in chat. gets voted out and banned a lot.

Dad: are ya winnin son

Bec, Halley, GCAT, Vodka Mutini, Jaspers, Maplehoof, Seppucrow: they are just leetol bebbies

Colonel Sassacre: doesn’t know what a computer is

Serenity: amazing player, but no one understands blinking

Liv Tyler: also amazing player, but doesn’t talk at all so no one understands

Itcy, Die, Cans: don’t really get it, but ok at killing

The Mayor, AR, CD, Doze, Sawbuck, Eggs, Biscuits, Ms. Paint, consorts, Squarewave: don’t really get it, but ok at tasks

PM, WK, HB, Trace, Fin, Matchsticks, Quarters: decent players

WQ, DD, Clover, Crowbar, Snowman/BQ, Stitch, Sawtooth: actually really good players

Jack/Spades Slick: only interested in killing

Doc Scratch: insufferably omniscient, wouldn’t play even if someone wanted him to

Andrew Hussie: probably plays among us irl

[silencecunt]

Kankri is not a good person, nor is he a bad person. In my view, he is a wildly misunderstood character--both by the people who love him and the people who hate him. Both sides like to take only parts of his character and ignore the others that don't align with their perception of him. There is no harm in that, per say, but it does an incredible disservice to him as a character.

The Alpha trolls are, generally speaking, two-dimensional. They are caricatures of certain online groups meant to satirize those aforementioned groups. In Kankri's case, it's the SJWs of tumblr. At the time of Kankri's conception, social justice on tumblr was notorious for being outrageously PC and, hypocritically, malicious. People were threatened and "cancelled" over the stupidest of things. Naturally, this trend still exists and has spread from tumblr; however, it is not to the degree that it once was as those SJWs have now matured and created a healthier space (for the most part).

Kankri is a representation of the worst parts of those people--he is overly concerned with saying the "right" thing at all times, ignoring that words don't matter if your actions don't reflect them. Quite literally, Kankri is all talk. He lectures anyone he can about their "triggering" behavior while turning around and engaging in that same behavior when it suits him.

Therein lies the Mituna problem. Kankri is overly considerate of Latula's lack of sense of smell, Cronus's humankin, Horuss's belief he is two-spirit, etc. even when those (such as the case with Latula) don't actually care all that much. He does this because it's what he cares about and that's all that matters to him. But he doesn't care about Mituna. My interpretation is because he is jealous of him. Kankri is flushed for Latula, who is Mituna's matesprite, but Kankri doesn't think Mituna deserves to be in a relationship with Latula likely due to his cerebral trauma. A trauma he acquired after destroying himself in an ultimately futile attempt to save his friends, which is another reason Kankri is jealous of him. Much like Karkat, Kankri served as the leader of the group. Despite this, he was unable to rally the troops together due to his more passive approach in juxtaposition to Karkat's abrasive leadership style and general nature. Seeing Mituna act so boldly, doing something Kankri was unable to, was a hit to his ego. Already people don't like him and here Mituna was, making him look like even more of a useless asshole.

So, Kankri resents him. He doesn't want to care about Mituna, so he doesn't. Anger, bitterness, jealousy, whatever the case may be, he does not respect Mituna. Regardless, Kankri is Kankri. The way he speaks to him, insulting him and his entire existence, is phrased in such a manner that pins Mituna's disability as a flaw that he needs to work on. So much so, Mituna is obligated to apologize. Now, Mituna is not an innocent infantile thing that does nothing wrong and isn't a jackass himself because all trolls are jackasses. He is crude and can be inconsiderate of others. Regardless, Kankri does not approach the matter in a constructive way, seemingly almost glossing over those fair criticisms in favor of low blows.

This is something that is fundamental to Kankri's character. There are plenty of things he is right about, however he handles it in such a way that it only comes across as pretentious swill that no one wants to listen to. Alternatively, he overlooks those valid points to unjustly attack another's character. But, that doesn't mean he is always wrong.

Kankri, at his core, cares deeply and passionately. Whether or not you agree with what he concerns himself with doesn't matter because he will continue to feel the way he does with everything he has. His passion is palpable. The most notorious of which is the Beforian hemospectrum.

Under pre-scratch Feferi, culling doesn't mean killing. Rather, lowbloods are seen as incapable of taking care of themselves, so highbloods are responsible for them. Kind of like a pet. While not being killed is nice, being treated as a second--maybe even third-class citizen is still oppression. Kankri sees this and resents how their society functions. He doesn't want to be coddled and treated like he is inept because he isn't. Subscribing to how society wants him to behave would be a fate worse than death. If he cannot be independent and think for himself, doing what he thinks is best without the concern of others looming over him at every step he takes, he would rather die. These are the beliefs he held even as the Signless, although with different context. Thus, his motivation for his personal boundaries. When Porrim tells him he has grubsauce on his face and tries to clean it himself, he flips out. Porrim is high enough on the spectrum to be considered able to take care of him, and Kankri does not want any part of it. The mere thought is mortifying to him. Being touched is something that is (actually) triggering to him. He doesn't want pity, he wants respect. Even if his friends hate him and think he's annoying, at least he's being himself.

When Porrim wishes to discuss issues regarding women, Kankri doesnt want to hear it. Here is where many call him misogynistic, but I implore you to consider not applying human society onto the trolls because it doesn't make sense. Trolls are a matriarchal society, what with the empress being in total control. And, so far as we know, it has always been an empress. We don't know just how much gender affects things considering the hemospectrum plays such a large role in how everyone falls in society. My interpretation is that gender is nowhere near as big of a deal as it is with humans. Even if it were, between fusciabloods being primarily female and rulers, and jadebloods also primarily female and nurturing the Mothergrub (aka how all trolls are born), I don't feel it's too far a stretch to say that the women of trollian society are not oppressed. I don't believe the men are oppressed either because I feel that gender isn't much of a consideration for trolls, but that is just my interpretation.

That being said, Porrim expresses her concern that their matriarchal society was a false one operating under Lord English, ergo making it patriarchal in nature. Kankri does not share that view, feeling that it's a non-starter. In his view, Lord English's actions truly had no effect in that regard. Why would a time traveling demon set on destroying everything worry about frivolous details such as ensuring women are beaten down? In Kankri's eyes, it's stupid to assume he would even bother.

Regarding Kankri's celibacy, it's another example of Kankri merely trying to keep his chin high in the air and feel as if he is better than everyone else. His intellect is too high to concern himself with the oppressive nature the quadrants come with. It seems too much like another means to be controlled. However, his commitment to it is...questionable. Porrim and him are essentially moirails in everything but the name due to Kankri's pride. Not to mention, his flushcrush on Latula. If he were truly committed to his Vow, he would not pursue this crush as much as he does. All Latula has to do is say the word and Kankri would drop his celibacy like a hot potato. Again, another example of how he is willing to say the "right" things, but his actions do not reflect that. This hypocrisy is one of Kankri's defining traits. He simply cannot put his money where his mouth is despite the mountain of effort he puts into convincing everyone how serious he is.

As someone who admires social justice, he doesn't care for the Signless. His official reasoning is in regards to a difference in approach. While the Signless's rebellion reflects the violent society of Alternia, Kankri expresses how he feels a more peaceful method would have been better, a reflection of the peaceful society he was raised in. He feels that words hold more power than violence, something those baser than him resort to.

Perhaps this is due to the tenderness I hold for him, but I think the reasoning runs deeper than that. All of his friends liked hearing about the Signless, Aranea in particular. So much so that she wears his symbol around her neck. This is something that clearly bothers Kankri, but is it really just over a difference in opinions? At the end of the day, the Signless is Kankri. My theory is because everyone likes his post-scratch self better than they like him. The people who he considers his friends, who he trusts to return when they leave mid-sermon, who he tried to lead and protect can't stand him, referring to him as the Insufferable. Wouldn't that hurt you, too? He knows he's long-winded, he knows he preachy, he knows people find him irritating, he knows. Naturally, Kankri doesn't let it show, but he wants his friends to like him. The only person who (kind of) listens to him and actually treats him with respect is the crowned worst character of homestuck, Cronus. It affects him to hear how much others admire the deeds of someone who is him when, in truth, he is not really that person.

Many of the core traits in Karkat exist in Kankri. They are both drawn to leadership, drawn to helping their friends, short-tempered, and emotional. Kankri says a multitude of harsh things, things that are much crueler than the what Karkat says, and it's important to acknowledge Kankri's cruelty. That doesn't detract from the fact that Kankri does care for others, even if his feelings towards them are less than pleasant, because that's who the Vantases are. They are deeply flawed and oftentimes foul-mouthed people, and yet, at the end of the day, they still care fiercely. Kankri is not some disinterested, detached critic. He is just as much a part of the group as the others and he wants what is best for them. If he didn't care, he wouldn't bother lecturing. No matter how annoying and egocentric you are, no one likes to waste their time.

At the end of the day, Kankri is not a perfect person. Far from it. But he's endearing and he's relatable and he's flawed. None of the trolls are good people. They are all assholes who say fucked up things. They use the r-slur, they make fun of Tavros for his wheelchair, Meenah is elated that her post-scratch self commits genocide on the regular, Vriska. Just Vriska. A lot of the hate I see regarding Kankri reduces him to a soulless monster who's only goal is to insult and talk down to everyone in his way. A lot of the admiration I see boils him down to an uwu sweet innocent blushy baby when that is the furthest thing from the truth. He's a snarky bastard who gives a fuck about his friends, even if they spit in his face because he spits right back. Please respect his depth, even if you interpret things differently from how I did. He is not as flat as many make him out to be. No one in homestuck is.

[slimegirlslushie]

Every Homestuck Character worth mentioning’s Arc in Chuubo’s Marvelous Wish-Granting Engine

Over two hours, I have determined the (Generally Miraculous) arc of every character in Homestuck, as well as occasionally a few major build details. 

Beta Kids

June Egbert: Mystic, dealing with a higher power/ideal, get told what do a lot, Immortal (Primordial) means you embody your element (Wind) and Principle (Freedom).

Dave: Frantic Knight (Become Somebody), you have a role you want to fill and a failing that stops you from reaching it. You can see your failing in others, adapt to various situations, define people in relation to you, and influence people.

Jade: Immortal Bindings (Gatekeeper), you're an intermediary between humanity and a powerful "Other", have a tendency to trust said Other, tell it what to do, call upon it for power, open doors between spaces, and produce great effects through working with it. 

Rose: Immortal Storyteller (Creature of the Light), you're lost in the world for a bit, you're infected by something higher than the world and can inspire others, attract attention, and have some narrative powers.

Alpha Kids

Dirk: Sickly Emptiness (Accursed), you're corrupt or sick in some way, with something that hurts in some way you can never quite heal, and you can destroy things real good.

Roxy: Frantic Aspect (The Ace), you're trying to improve as a person but have a flaw that gets in the way. You're just generally good at mundane things, like science, hacking, and fist kind. Void powers are probably a Magical Skill like Voidy Magic with the Matriorb being a Quest Miracle.

Jane: Sickly Bindings (Wounded Angel), you're dealing with something terrible and wicked, and have that kind of thing inside you. At low levels, you can take things into yourself to give yourself powers, though it also gives an unhealing wound, and at high levels, you can receive a societal position instead of a power through the same process and save people from things such as death. 

Jake: Sickly Knight (Star Power), you have a role you want to fill and a failing that stops you from reaching it. You see things in narrative terms and force the world to see you as the center of the mythos, the Exuberant Action Hero.

Post-Scratch Trolls 

Vriska: Sickly Storyteller (Creature of Delirium), in which you become a story. She has an experience that she's always feeling and can steal from people. The Experience probably being relevance/certainty. It also lets you control people you stole your experience from. 

Terezi: Frantic Mystic (Prophet), dealing with a higher power/ideal, around the middle of your arc you're kind of a mess without anchors. You're empowered by your principle and get visions from it.

Karkat: Frantic Knight (Become Somebody), dealing with much the same issues as his canon boyfriend, though substituting “Leader” for “Hero.”

Kanaya: Immortal Emptiness (Indomitable), “cursed” with being an immortal, nigh unkillable Rainbow Drinker

Equius: Immortal Mystic (Primordial) because it's the same powerset as June and I cannot care less.

Aradia: Sickly Shepard (Impresario), you guide and protect people, you've created yourself in some way, have a lot of thematic minions, and tell people what to do.

Nepeta: Frantic Shepard  (Sentimental), shipping, empowering that what you love.

Sollux: Frantic Mystic (Shepard), he is overwhelmed by his principle of Doom, but works miracles and omens through it. Tavros: Become somebody, I guess.Eridan: Accursed, maybe, probably. Feferi: Gatekeeper, a diplomat for the horror terrors. Gamzee: Sickly Otherworldly (Called Away), being spiritual in some way, with your powers being based around rejecting reality and substituting a world of the estate you serve.

Pre Scratch Trolls

Aranea: Sickly Shepard (Impressario), a corrupt guiding figure, with focus on the Arc 5 power "Here's Who You Are", which lets you force out someone's true self, or what you think is their true self.

HIC/Meenah: Liminal Emptiness (Alluring), notable for being available as both a mortal and a Miraculous Being. It gives a lot of free points in a Superior Skill (Trollness), a Magical Skill (Psionics), gives you a bond that represents a position of power, and lets you develop advanced techniques for a few skills and tempt/influence people.

Damara: Sickly Bindings (Wounded Angel), taken in the worst direction manageable.

The Sufferer: Liminal Shepard (Gifted), which focuses on being a powerful magician, or in this case, seer, while being on the borderline between mundane and miraculous. In this case, his empowered magical skill is some form of Blood Magic. Note that Kankri lacks this because like most of the other Pre Scratch trolls, he doesn’t have much of an arc or importance, nor much use of powers that wouldn’t be at best mundane.

Cherubim

Caliborn: Sickly Knight (Star Power), in his pursuit of advancing his mythos as the ultimate “Alpha Male/Demiurge”, he becomes able to create laws of his own existence and enforce them, defining others in relation to said narrative.

Calliope: Immortal Storyteller (Creature of the Light), with her ability to appear when needed, inspire others to do great things, and alter the world to your whims.

Lord English: Does not have an arc so much as he mugs his respective components. They're all at 3, which tends towards being the peak of stress for the arcs involved.

Alt! Calliope: A Keeper of Gardens (Immortal Shepard), guiding and protecting others, you rule a certain area with incredible skill, and Indomitable (Immortal Emptiness), you bear a great and terrible curse, have inhuman abilities, and at your peak can create tools that can theoretically accomplish anything, such as the black hole that can kill Lord English. Both are at 5, the apex of your power at which the greatest powers are unleashed.

Carpacians

Wayward Vegabond: Become somebody, as the leader of the revolution.

Jack Noir: Indomitable, inhuman power and a sickness/corruption in the form of constant murder.

Parcel Mistress: Allegory (Immortal Knight): She has a role she fills spectacularly, her failing is her virtue of her sense of duty, she's involved in major events, she has a legendary weapon, and has a method of transport.

Mortals

Dad: Shepard (Dad). Possesses Superior Mangrit 4.

Bro: Aspect (Fighter), at Arc 5 with every single perk and skill being invested into improving combat capabilities. He is under the effect of Lord English’s inevitability entanglement, bringing him into the mythos of the abusive patriarch.

Mom: Shepard (Mom). Has a magical skill at 4.

Pa: Knight (Adventurer). Fucking Dead.

Alpha!John: Knight (Comedian)

Alpha!Dave: Knight (Filmmaker)

Alpha!Rose: Storyteller (Author)

Alpha!Jade: Shepard (Businesswoman)

Other

The Felt are a perk on Lord Englishes part that emulate the Impressario’s “Minion” power.

The MSPA Reader: Mystic, Sickly (Awakening), it turns out that you’re in the story. You, personally.

Chixie Roixmr: Knight, Sickly (Star Power), she deserves cool miraculous powers.

Sprites: Their composite parts, likely at a somewhat reduced level due to dilution.

[nonbinarylatula]

Gideon Jura - Rogue??? of Doom???

Illustration: Oath of Gideon by Wesley Burt

Warnings: discussion of suicidal thoughts, spoilers for War of the Spark story

Gideon's actually surprisingly tricky to classpect. I was tempted to go with Life, since his powers are all about healing and protection. His main ability is a powerful regenerative factor that basically renders him immune to harm. Knight of Life should be a pretty clear-cut answer, right?

Well, I'm not going to flat out say that's wrong. Classpects are pretty much 100% up to interpretation. But the way Homestuck in particular handles Life and Knights makes me think it's not the best combination for him.

For starters, Life is generally represented by money and political power. The Condesce, a Thief of Life, has an unjust rule over the Troll empire. Her pre-scratch counterpart Meenah (also a Thief of Life) is greatly attracted to wealth and material possessions. Feferi Peixes, the Witch of Life, is also the heiress to the Troll empire and is very wealthy. Finally, Jane Crocker, Maid of Life, is the heiress to the Betty Crocker Corporation (the face of the Troll empire on post-scratch earth.) In the epilogues, she also gains an immense amount of political power.

Actually, "Life" doesn't exactly represent some ethereal life force like in most fantasy magic systems, although it definitely is related to that concept. I think it's more based o how we use the word in everyday conversation. Someone has had a "long life," or is "going to do something with their life," et cetera. It represents the period of time during which we have agency and the ability to affect those around us. (There's a reason it's adjacent to Light on the aspect wheel.) Political power comes with a great amount of agency, as does wealth. The Condesce, as a Thief of Life, rules a fascist empire that robs its subjects of the ability to control where their life is going.

The White/Black Orzhov Syndicate of Ravnica is pretty much the Life aspect defined, if you're more familiar with MtG lore than Homestuck.

Gideon is not at all that. He works closely with the White/Red Boros guild of Ravnica, which makes sense, because if I had to give him a second color after White it would be Red.

White and Red are enemy colors on the color pie. This means that their relationship is more defined by their conflict than anything else. Red's individuality and penchant for chaos clashes with White's authoritarian leaning and desire for order.

That's not to say they're incompatible, though. Red, as the color of emotion, and White, the color of harmony, both believe in the power of friendship. Red's immense passion and White's faith make them the color combination of Zealotry. And White's strong sense of justice combined with Red's tendency to take matters in its own hands create the perfect mindset of vigilantism.

The first one (the power of friendship) is what I'm interested in right now, though. Gideon is the leader of the Gatewatch, a group of planeswalkers who have sworn an oath to "keep watch" against interplanar threats too big for a single planeswalker to handle. People who know a lot about aspects should be going "HMMM" right now. Sounds a lot like Blood, right?

Karkat, a Knight of Blood, is the first "leader" of his "team" of friends who play the game Sgrub. Though he doesn't stay leader very long, he's the one who creates that connection. A lot of what he does is through making deals - his blood bond and deal with Spades Slick being what gets them through the game. Blood is about connections, pacts, and team-ups. It's about the power of friendship, and about social customs and unspoken rules that help people live in a society together. (The Joker's a Bard of Blood, by the way.)

So it's a perfect fit for Gideon, right? Well, again, I think it's a valid theory, but there's still one option I like better. Something that ties together the very beginning and end of his adventure, and provides him with a lot of conflict in between. I think he's a Rogue of Doom.

After his mother died, he became the leader of a gang. They had a whole Robin Hood "rob from the rich and give to the poor" thing. That's what Homestuck's Rogue class's whole deal is about. They're the passive form of the Thief, so instead of taking their aspect for their own benefit, they do it for the benefit of others.

Then, he gets put into prison. One day, monsters attack, and the prison warden frees any prisoners who are willing to fight off the monsters. Surprise surprise, he saves the day with his troop of irregulars.

Then Heliod (god of the sun, ruler of Theros's knock-off Greek pantheon) gives him a quest to kill the Titan of Erebos (a god of death.) After defeating the Titan, he tries to throw Heliod's spear at Erebos himself in an act of hubris - but Erebos redirects the spear to kill all the irregulars instead.

Gideon is now the only one of his irregulars alive. In his grief, his planeswalker spark ignites and he teleports to another plane. The rest of his story is driven by his guilt about killing his friends, and his desire to die heroically in battle both as penance and as a way to get to see them again in Theros's Elysium.

You see, I have a theory about the stealing classes. While they can have a great amount of their aspect, none of it rightfully belongs to them. The Condesce does not rightfully rule her empire, which is why Roxy, the Rogue of Void, dealt the killing blow. Taking an empire from an unjust ruler could easily be considered "stealing nothing."

So Gideon, the Rogue of Doom, tried to take a glorious death by engaging a god in battle - an act of hubris. But he's not a Thief, he's a Rogue. So he didn't get to keep the death for himself, he distributed it among his friends instead.

Throughout his story, he's constantly taking on opponents too tough to handle. But his powers of regeneration stop him from getting the death he thinks he deserves. As the leader of the Gatewatch, he's doing this when he takes them to fight Nicol Bolas on Amonkhet. And the evil dragon Bolas is even able to see what he's trying to do. The entire Gatewatch suffer a humiliating defeat, and are scattered throughout the multiverse. That's when Gideon finally gets over himself.

In homestuck, your classpect guides your hero's journey. Going against it leads to suffering. I absolutely wouldn't call Gideon evil or selfish, and all that stuff I described isn't something he's consciously doing. But it's definitely there in his subconscious, as that nugget of guilt that impacts every decision he makes. Subconsciously, he's trying to be a Thief. There are contradictory forces inside him (two wolves, you might say) that makes him want to die a hero's death while also believing he's not worthy of being a hero.

He chills out though. Then his friend Liliana gets manipulated by the evil dragon Bolas into helping carry out Bolas's "kill a lot of planeswalkers (and also regular people for the heck of it) and use their sparks to become a god" plan. Her friends don't know this though, and feel super betrayed and stuff. Eventually, Liliana revolts, but the pact magic binding her to Bolas's will starts killing her. Gideon sees this, and his suspicions that she hadn't actually turned evil are confirmed. He places his hand on her shoulder, and his regenerative magic fights against the pact sucking her life out. She's saved, but he dies and finally goes to see his irregulars in Elysium.

So, his arc comes to an end! He's embraced his classpect, and found out a way to meet his Doom heroically, while still taking a death that isn't "his own," and simultaneously acting in someone else's benefit because he's a passive class.

Rest in Peace, Gideon.

Again, though, I'm not entirely sure about this - it's just the classpect I've been able to find that most explains all parts of his arc. I could easily see Blood or Life, too. (Is it a coincidence, though, that Life is opposite Doom on the aspect wheel, and Blood is directly adjacent to Doom? 🤔)

[busterofbeing]

Aspect Analysis: Life

Greetings! I’d like to first apologize for the long delay in content; things have been crazy lately. Don’t worry, however! I’ve got plenty of ideas already in the works! As I mentioned in my class analysis of the Mage, I’ve decided to first analyze singular classes and aspects. This way when analyzing Classpects I don’t have to give the lengthy explanations of all the implications of the Class and Aspect; I can just provide a quick and to the point summary and provide links to these singular analyses. Alrighty! Here’s an analysis on the aspect of Life!

Summary

Life is the aspect of health, growth, nature, vitality, nourishment, and kindness. The challenge of the Life-bound is knowing how to balance helping themselves and helping others. The Life-bound tend to make great healers, helpers, cultivators, cooks, and therapists.

Extended Zodiac Definition and Analysis

“Those bound to the aspect of Life are the universe’s healers. They are concerned with the betterment of themselves and those around them, as well as the onward march of positive progress. Deeply empathetic, they have an intuitive understanding of others suffering and the best way of righting those wrongs. If you’re poisoned, chances are the Life-bound have something for what ails ya. This applies to both physical and mental suffering, though it might not be a cure you’ll like. They also have the tendency to put others needs before their own, which never ends well for anyone, because the Life-bound can grow bitter if they feel their own self-care has had to be shunted aside. At their best, they are great listeners, caretakers, and nurturers. At their worst, the Life-bound are passive-aggressive, and pushy-they’re certain they know best.”

In summary, the Extended Zodiac states that the Life-bound are healers (obviously), and that they care deeply about helping others, and/or growth (onward march of positive progress). However, they tend to put others before themselves (Jane with Jake, anyone?), which is what the Life-bound struggle most with. They can also be pushy, as they believe they know best. An extreme example of this point would be someone who would try to help others, even though they really don’t need to want help. However, the Life-bound are still generally good-natured, they just want to help others, kindness and growth are very important to them.

Analysis + Character Breakdown & Evidence

Life is the aspect of health, growth, nature, vitality, nourishment, and kindness.

JANE CROCKER, the Maid of Life. Jane is a maid, one who creates their aspect or creates through their aspect for themselves. Jane is at her happiest or full potential when she is creating life. Over the course of her narrative, her desire for “making babies” is very prominent. Heck, she even creates life (Nature!) on her planet when she initiates trickster mode, and has an affinity for baking, particularly as her pre-scratch iteration, Nanna. Jane really is a Nanna though; she wants children, and she’ll create more life; whether that’s making children, or making food and growing the existing ones. (I hope using two semicolons in one sentence doesn’t come off as too pretentious.) Overall, Jane is a kind character. She wants the best for her friends.

FEFERI PEIXES, the Witch of Life. Feferi is a witch, one who changes/manipulates their aspect or changes/manipulates through their aspect for themselves. Witches also tend to “break a rule” of their aspect. In this case, Feferi’s rule-breaking is the creation of the dream bubbles. These allow players to keep existing as ghosts after all of their selves die, which is basically cheating death to a degree. I’d argue the ending of her moriallegience with Eridan was effectively “changing” life for herself. By breaking up with Eridan, she changed her outflow of positive growth and emotional health for herself. Additionally, she wants to redefine culling as care for misfit trolls, not a death sentence. This belief would break the rules of the Alternian society Doc Scratch had established.

MEENAH PEIXES, the Thief of Life. A Thief steals their aspect or steals through their aspect for themselves. Meenah best demonstrates this when she uses the tumor to kill all of her friends at the end of their session so they may live on in dream bubbles. She’s “stealing” the lives of her friends, but in a typical, active “I’m going to mess some stuff up, just accept it.” thief way. Meenah is still nice (if she likes you), and she wants the best for her team.

Additionally, Meenah’s post-scratch iteration, the Condesce, “steals” the lives of the Alternian trolls in order to expand her own empire.

The Life-bound value kindness and/or growth.

Like I said, Jane Crocker is still a nice person. She’s kind to everyone unless they’re not kind to her. She helps Jake with his relationship issues because she wants him to be happy. Does it go over well? Of course not, because it’s compromising her own feelings. More on that later.

Feferi wants to be kind to everyone and does what she can to help Eridan and Sollux. She’s very good in redrom quadrants, with a particular knack for moirallegiance. Even in her assumed flushed relationship with Sollux, she gives him guidance, ghosting the pale quadrant. Maybe their relationship vacillates between flushed and pale…?

Meenah made some questionable decisions in her session. She pitted her friends against each other in an attempt to improve them. Keyword: improve. While the morality of her actions was questionable, she really just wanted to see them grow. It’s stated in the comic that challenges create growth and character development; Meenah wants that for her friends, but she tries to force it.

The main challenge of the Life-bound is learning how to balance the needs of others and themselves.

Jane really is the best example of this point. Jane is kind, and her helpful nature just ends up causing conflict. We see this first when Jake tells Jane about his feelings regarding Dirk. Of course, Jane likes Jake. But instead of telling Jake this, she instead bottles up her feelings and instead tries to be a supportive friend for Jake. She doesn’t want to cause conflict and hurt his feelings. This mess climaxes on Jane’s sweet 16, in which she can’t stand listening to and providing advice for Jake any longer. Jane putting Jake’s feelings above her own was bad for everyone; it made Jane unhappy, it allowed Jake to pursue a very destructive relationship, and it allowed Dirk (and his Auto-Responder) to carry out his manipulative plans and get into that destructive relationship. If anyone ever asks about the main challenges and flaws of the Life-bound, I’ll personally print them a picture of Jane Crocker’s bucktoothed face along with transcripts of her pesterlogs with Jake on the back.

Feferi demonstrates this point in a very simple way; in fact, I’d say she’s the only Life-bound player we see in Homestuck to effectively balance her needs with the needs of others. Prior to Hivebent, Feferi had been in a moirallegiance with Eridan. This relationship proved to be far too one-sided, however, and it was emotionally draining for Feferi. So, she rightfully ended her moirallegiance with him. We see afterward that she is still happy and nice, and she managed to have a quaint relationship with Sollux for a little while. Here’s where one could argue Feferi was a bit too selfish; Eridan became more and more emotionally unhealthy, and murders both Feferi and Sollux. Hussie even stated Eridan could be considered one of the villains of Homestuck. Maybe if Feferi had kept looking out a bit, she might have been able to keep Eridan under control? Or, the more likely, favorable and concise explanation- Eridan bad.

Meenah is the Life-bound in the story that demonstrates the opposite problem; she isn’t nearly kind enough to others. Sure, she wants them to be the best they can be, but she disregards their feelings and promotes growth in a very destructive and unkind way. Her methods of pitting her friends against each other just caused all sorts of chaos. If she had been more considerate and gentle, Kankri would’ve been able to lead better and Damara might not have gone off the rails. Much later in her narrative, she dates pre-retcon Vriska. We see Meenah actually gets really bored of the relationship, and she isn’t comfortable with handling all of Vriska’s emotional baggage. She eventually leaves her to fight Lord English, which is tragic for pre-retcon Vriska at first. However, both Meenah and Vriska find themselves much happier afterward. Meenah gets to be in some action and helps defeat Lord English, and pre-retcon Vriska finds pre-retcon Terezi. Meenah sticking up for her own self and feelings turned out to have a great outcome for everyone.

Alternatively, the Condesce is much more selfish. She uses the lives of the Alternian race to grow her vast empire and doesn’t care at all about the suffering that she’s put her people through. You could say she’s doing this to create a larger world for more trolls...but it’s made clear she just wants to rule it.

The Life-bound tend to make great cultivators.

Jane creates life and nature on her planet when she enters trickster mode, she is called to propagate and bring up a new civilization in the Condesce new hypothetical empire, and she (as well as Nanna) have a knack for cooking.

Nanna is also very supportive of John, more so than any other guide. She also gives him plenty of food and makes cookies for everyone. After all, John is a GROWING boy!

As stated before, Feferi wants a world where the unfit trolls are cared for. In place of this, she spends her time pre-Hivebent taking in various sea creatures and caring for them.

On pre-scratch Beforus, Feferi implements this system successfully, caring for the Beforan trolls and helping them grow up.

You could possibly say Meenah “grows” pre-retcon Vriska in the dream bubbles, by making her open to new experiences and fashion…? Eh, it’s a stretch. She also tries to “cultivate” her team in SGRUB, however, her execution is not exactly the best. Generally pitting people against each other isn’t a healthy way to make them grow!

The Condesce also “cultivated” the Alternian trolls in the same fashion by encouraging violence and culling weak trolls, cultivating stronger trolls through a twisted version of natural selection.

The Life-bound make great listeners; when they offer advice.

Jane struggles with this one a lot. She clearly wants to help her friends, but when it comes to Jake things go off the rails before the train goes 10 meters. Frankly, it’s because she gives bad advice. When Jake goes on a mega-rant to Jane later on, she holds in all of her thoughts, only replying with fake “Mhm!”’s and “Yes.”’s. Eventually, this builds and she has to let all of her feelings out. Jake naturally turned to Jane for relationship advice; I’m sure this hasn’t been the first time Jane was in such a situation. But we see that when Jane doesn’t consider herself and gives bad advice, things go south. When Jane doesn’t give advice and just listens, whoops, we’ve gone past South America and straight into Antarctica. I’ll expand upon this point in the general analysis.

Feferi was apparently a good moirail to Eridan. However, he kept complaining and wallowing in his problems, which exhausted Feferi. She doesn’t like him constantly complaining; she wants him to not kill everyfin, and wants to provide advice and guidance. Later, when she and Sollux are glubbing in the horn pile, we see her listen to Sollux while being kind and offering advice and encouragement. This is Feferi and in my opinion a Life-bound in general, at their best.

Meenah can’t stand idly listening. Aranea has to pay her to listen to her exposition, and Meenah isn’t happy when she is constantly listening to Vriska’s problems, and she wasn’t inclined to giver Vriska guidance and growth because she herself had her own problems.

The Life-bound tend to be in and/or want leadership positions.

Jane is declared the “leader” of the alpha session, which she is okay with. On Earth C, Jane becomes the CEO of CrockerCorp, which goes hand-in-hand with her Maid of Life classpect. (Creating food/life)

Feferi, as an heiress, is naturally in line to (potentially) become the new empress. Interestingly, the true aspect of the Fuschia-sign is Life, and if the Life-bound have this thing for leadership, and Life is even slightly present in all fuschia-bloods...well, that’s a topic for another time…

Meenah is in the same position as Feferi, only she is much more adamant to be a great(?) leader, a desire that is fulfilled by the Condesce. In her session, Meenah tried to “lead” and cause conflict between her friends to make them “grow”. Her attempts at “leading” the session undermined what Kankri could possibly have done to keep the session together, and was what led to making Damara snap.

The Life-bound have a unique or at times overbearing energy.

Jane has a personality like that of a cute and fun grandma...I wonder why. She has an enjoyment for her pranks and is a fun person, but as we see in her meltdown she’s got some intense emotions. Even then, the pranking system is very impactful on her!

Feferi is almost always full of Life and energy. Quite a character.

Meenah has a very powerful presence (due in some part to her thief class) and is a very chaotic force in general.

The main power of the Life-bound is healing.

God-tiered Jane has the power to revive any player once. 

Nanna, as a sprite, possesses healing powers. Hussie even suggests that Nannasprite had her healing powers because Jane is a Maid of Life.

A dead god-tiered Feferi revives the Mayor in the post-retcon timeline.

Meenah’s post-scratch self, the Condesce, is stated to have used powers to extend the life of the Ψiioniic, something no troll has been shown to naturally do.

Other Comments and Analysis

At their core, the Life-bound have good intentions. They are kind, value growth, and want to help. If you know a Life-bound, I’m sure this is fairly obvious.

Now, let’s wrap up their challenge. I feel the Life-bound typically fall in one of two categories; they help others so much they exhaust themselves, or they don’t help others enough. I’d say the former would be the more common challenge. The Life-bound do want to help, they just need to learn how to properly balance the needs of others and themselves. Learning this balance would make a Life-bound very effective, and they’d find themselves to be much more emotionally secure and happy. (As a Life-bound, I can attest to this).

Ooh! Leadership positions! As I’ve mentioned, the life-bound tend to be in or want leadership positions- they just might not be the BEST at it. Breath and Blood are the two primary leadership aspects. Players of other aspects can still be leaders, but typically a Blood or Breath player will lead unless there isn’t one in a session. Their helpful attitude and knack for growth would make them a decent leader, however. They just might be a bit too pushy about it. I’d say this is one the better aspects for a leader to possess, besides Breath or Blood.

Hobbies and talents! As I’ve said before, I’d imagine the Life-bound would have an interest or proficiency in cooking, gardening, and counseling. This is not a rule, keep that in mind. I’d say that their helpful nature would manifest itself in whatever their interests may be, though. For example: if a Life-bound loved to do a sport, they’d be the ones to encourage their fellow teammates; they might even bring snacks or water!

Parting Words and Thanks

Whew! One aspect down, 11 more (and 13 more classes) to go! Whoop.

Thanks again to optimisticDuelist for the life aspect card as well as his analysis of Jane Crocker. It helped a lot to better understand Jane and the aspect of Life!

Thank you for reading!

[twitchesandstitches]

HS Humans in Crossthicc - Descriptions!

The humans themselves, along with my headcanons for how they look here. In general, the post-scratch humans are the older generation, from 5 to 10 years older than the pre-scratch humans:

Jane Egbert: She was originally called Jane Crocker, but she has no wish to be associated with Crockercorp, nor her position as the Condesces’ legal heir. Polynesian, a definite BBW and a very strongfat build, she stands more than ten feet tall and is a walking tank and her powers function as this, making her a living wall that ignores all damage and heals what does get through. Crockertier cybernetics are imbedded through her, glowing blue and making her a very obvious cyborg. Likes to use a combat gourmand fork that can turn into a spoon, and she fancies herself a gourmand when it comes to foes. She tends to use her healing powers to restore people to health as a combat medic.

She started the army of chefs that keeps the fleet fed, and wrote up the principles of agriculture and livestock they follow to this day. She’s since become one of the heads of a corporation-analogue called the Carnival Bazaar; the fleet’s source of wealth, where they sell their goods as they travel from world to world. She’s less a CEO and more of an HR department head who keeps people stabilized and counseled, but in practice she runs the whole thing. She’s very close with Steven Universe, the two of them dating from time to time, and they’ve had many children together.

She is clearly mutated with troll mods; her blood is tinted faintly fuchsia, and she has a few mutations indicating her troll-themed genetic mix. She and Feferi are quite close, and the latter is responsible for stabilizing some of Jane’s complications.

John Egbert: A cheerful and helpful guy, and very tiny, standing below five feet tall. Polynesian, chubby, and incredibly solid for it with muscle. He drifts from ship to ship, going wherever he pleases, and proves to be popular wherever he goes and does his best to keep everyone happy. He’s extremely fast and mobile, and surprisingly destructive in a straight fight, using massive hammers bigger than he is.

Dated Vriska at some point and they’re still very close. No one is sure how the size difference was coped with but he doesn’t seem to mind being totally dominated by extremely large women.

Dirk Strider: Mechanics expert, roboticist, and key engineer in both shipcraft and mech maintenance, though he declines to actually pilot them. Aboriginal, a bit shorter than average (5’6), and has that bishounen ‘thin but pretty and fit’ look. His powers allow him to effect magic directly, and the soul directly; damaging their essence, or turning heroic spirit into raw damage. It gives him a great insight into creating AI, which led to the creation of  his… son? Brother? Something? Anyway, that’s where Li’l Hal came from.

Prefers not to put himself out there and likes being a support guy. “I don’t want to be the guy to kill the bad guy. I want to make the weapon that kills the bad guy.”

Dave Strider: Studies monsters of all kinds, and is a forensic expert and coroner. He also does part time in one of the many bands the fleet does in their flirtation with being cosmic pop stars. He doesn’t like fighting, but he exhibits absolutely absurd speed related to his growing powers of time travel. Aboriginal, smaller than Dirk (5’4), and on the plump side. MILFs of all kinds gravitate straight towards him in a ‘oh, you POOR Dear…!” way. He is the father of many children now, having a huge weakness for gentle, protective mom-types.

Roxy Lalonde: one of the fleet’s head scientists, heavily influential in their alchemizer program, and loves messing with bio mods for fun. Her playful demeanor hides how frighteningly smart she is, and she loves messing with people on account of it. (NOT an alcoholic of any sort here, either.) When she is involved in fighting, she uses high-powered rifles and does sniper duty. Indian, a classic hyper curvy hourglass and about seven and a half feet tall. She can manifest objects out of raw magic, but this takes a lot of work and requires her to understand them in and out. Has a lot of cat-themed mods that sometimes give her pink fur, a tail, cat ears, and functional claws.

A true mom friend to everyone around her, Roxy is a sweet and good-natured person who loves helping people and being a Science Hero FOR GREAT JUSTICE; she’s very passionate about what the fleet does, and actively encourages everyone to be more proactively heroic. She fears that she has a tendency towards addiction, and is compelled to mass produce children whenever she has the chance, with the possibility that she has an integrated alchemizer to ‘produce’ items herself through her powers.

Rose Lalonde: Expert in magical power and theory, specializing in arcane magic, but she also has channeled power from mysterious eldritch entities that are nonetheless apparently benign. They have left their mark on her; while she looks human if she concentrates, in her true form she is a monstrous eldritch monster girl, with tentacles for legs, glowing multiple rows of white eyes, and immense spookiness. Probably at least Roxy’s height, but can be a lot bigger as she powers up. Hard to say how her powers will interface in the AU, but she is certainly an EXTREMELY powerful magic user, on par with a D&D Warlock, and takes a methodical, experimental approach to her powers. Indian, pear-shaped, with very large hips, massive butt, thick tentacles, and large breasts. She tends to favor more inhuman mods, for more multiple… well, everything if she wants it. Her weapons of choice are a pair of deadly wands that channel her magic, and can stab really well too.

Rose is deeply spooky to a lot of people, and she enjoys unsettling others. She gets annoyed that John, Dave and the others don’t fall for it so much anymore. She has a close romance with Kanaya, whom she has had many children with, and they enjoy a mutual spooky aesthetic of eldritch/vampire goodness. She is deeply fascinated by the mystery of what happened in the ancient cataclysm, and has resolved to solve it.

Jake Harley: An explorer and famous fleet scout, often flying off on his own to report on new worlds and see if there is first contact to be made. Able to channel optimism and happiness into raw destructive power over a period of time, he’s situationally very powerful, but tends to be a glass cannon, easily taken out once he Does The Thing. He’s First Nations, and a massive super-cute beefcake of a man; he flexes and people thank him. Likes to use a pair of customized pistol-lasers that channel his powers. About seven feet tall. He may have some genuine angelic essence in him, which can be very spooky.

Jade Harley: A monstrously big and obscenely powerful amazon, so heavily modded that she looks like a werewolf girl even when not monsterized. Her heart has been replaced with an infinite energy generator, she calls it the green sun,, and it is powered by her own resolve, and she uses it to channel a wide variety of technologies secretly fueled by her own powers. She can alter space in many ways; shrinking herself and others, growing herself and others, opening portals, or unleashing incredibly destructive blasts of green energy. She is obscenely powerful, and one of the fleet’s heaviest hitters, bar none. She can even channel it into herself, giving her immense strength or size. She is First Nations, standing… however big she wants, but often over twelve feet high. Muscular and amazonian, she has absolutely enormous curves but focuses on gigantic breasts. Her canine mods are advanced enough that she has furry skin, canine features, and can generally pass as a low-level beastwoman. One of her favorite alternate forms is a dogtaur form. Jade turns Grimbark whenever she uses enough power, but this is more of a super mode, not a bad thing, and she just becomes a lot more aggressive and domineering.

Working heavily in the science departments, Jade is a major leader in the fleet, and a powerful witch as well. She takes a more carefree approach to her magic, doing whatever seems like an intriguing idea for her spells; an artist, to Rose’s technician. She is one of the most prominent human characters here, and her raw power is simply awe inspiring. She’s very sweet, if prone to sassiness and a short temper. She’s rather dominant with boys, too.

Joey Harley: She has no conflict with Jake here, so did not take another name out of spite. A talented dancer and xenopsychologist, she prefers to do ‘real work’ and research, but enjoys dancing and regularly demonstrates her skills at the fleet’s clubs. She is First Nation, with a bulk similar to Jade’s but slimmer, with smaller breasts; instead most of her curve mass is in her cybernetically enhanced legs, which are absurdly powerful. Her kicks are very strong, she can leap great distances, and she augments them further with special weaponized shoes with built-in cannons. Nine feet tall.

Jude Harley: A self-proclaimed strategist and existential threat theorist, he is deeply worried about the threats that the Ringers have supposedly seen, and organizes a group of people who are trying to figure it out as well. He otherwise works in the Zoo, the facility where the pet monsters, summon creatures, and powerlink beasts are cared for, and he happily tends towards the avian ones. He’s made a lot of friends with Flying-type Pokemon and avian Digimon as well. Built on broadly the same lines as Jake but shorter (a little under seven foot) and very softly built.

Li’l Hal: Dirk’s robotic offspring, and while an AI, he can upload himself into robotic bodies as he pleases. He and Dirk have a very complicated relationship, and with being often subject to harassment, oppression and worse by humans, he has a very negative attitude towards organics in general from sheer spite. He’s warmed up a bit since joining the fleet… to just being instantly suspicious of anyone outside the fleet. He’s in sincere love with Jane and Roxy, but doesn’t seem to realize it. He’s quite close with the other robots of the fleet, idolizing the Dinobots as liberators of robotkind, and wishes to one day upload into a Cybertronian frame.

Unexpectedly, he has his own share of unusual abilities unrelated to whatever body he is using. This appears to be related to soul-themed abilities; he can weaponize the essence of genuinely living beings, or tear organics apart at the very soul. While Dirk can destroy in ways he can’t Hal’s actual combat powers are superior to Dirk’s.

Squarewave and Sawtooth: Hal’s robot brothers, and performers in the fleet’s various bands, pop groups, metalheads, and other musical interests. Both of them are loyal to Dirk and are generally considered legally Striders, and think Hal needs to calm down on the ‘meatbags are out to GET US’ front. Squarewave uses destructive sonic attacks… by yelling really, really loud, and comes off as an earnest kid brother. Sawtooth, on the other hand, is just plain cool, everyone wishes they were as cool as that. It must be a Strider thing. He employs integrated weaponry and sonic weapons, often narrating his actions in musical form and working it into his performance.

The Consorts: A wide variety of strange creatures Roxy and Jade created, producing happy little creatures modeled after the canon consorts, and they seem happy to act as servants to the fleet as a whole, bustling in and tidying up or serving people, washing people in the communal baths, and so forth. The fleet tried to get them to be more independent and less servile, but they refused to listen, so they’re just left to their own cheerful devices.

[ardenttheories]

. 

istrige-namuose

replied to your post:

“Honestly I should go back do filling all those classpect requests in...”

:

#AddressedTheElephantInTheRoom

If the elephant in the room is “John is not okay” then I’ve got you entirely covered. If it’s not then you’re about to be deeply disappointed about my thesis on “why John is not okay”.

I believe I’ve mentioned this before, but from the very beginning John is at an incredible disadvantage when it comes to SBURB. Compared to all the other kids, trolls and our dear cherubs included, John is the only one with a significant amount to lose, and almost nothing to gain: Dave is being physically abused by his older brother, and has repressed himself to such a point that he sees no value in his life; Rose lives with a functioning alcoholic who she is convinced engages in passive-aggressive warfare with her, unable to tell who actually loves her and who does not; Jade lives with a dog, a dead grandpa she has never truly accepted the loss of at the beginning of the comic, and is almost completely isolated from society with no true way to enter it at her current age; Dirk and Roxy have never seen their parents, with Dirk’s isolation causing a severe negative impact on his mental health and Roxy’s causing her to partake in heavy drinking, and both live with the constant threat of death at the hands of HIC; Jane, while having a loving father, is under constant threat of assassination; Jake, sharing a similar situation to Jade, actually buried his dead grandmother’s body and was left to fend for himself on an island inhabited by creatures made to raise a species entirely more violent than he; the lowblood trolls live in a society that sees them as playthings, and wishes for them to be dead more than anything else; the midbloods hang on by a thread; the highbloods face constant instability, with Gamzee having to self medicate with sopor, Eridan struggling to find his place in a society that wants him to be brutal and a friend group that didn’t let his loves flourish, and Feferi living with the knowledge that her lusus could kill everyone should she not feed it correctly, as well as with the knowledge that her duty is to fight HIC, and either win or die trying; and Calliope, isolated in one room her whole life, lives reading a book that becomes what she wishes she could be part of, trapped in eternal, lonely war with her brother. None of these characters have the most optimal of lives; all live in fear of something, all struggle with and suffer from things that affect them deeply enough to continue well into the game itself. They are things each player needs to learn from, to grow out of and to move past in the process of growing up that SBURB facilitates in its challenges throughout the course of a session. This is, ironically, how you know the trolls’ game is not finished; they are not, for lack of a better term, “grown up” yet when they reach their door. 

When we consider what each surviving player gains at the end of the game in Earth C, we can see that they have achieved true growth, as well as the happiness, safety and content that did not exist pre-game. Dave has Dirk, Rose has Roxy, Jade has Jake; each gains that which they had lost, or never had, in the form of their guardians’ younger selves, giving them what is essentially a fresh slate to build upon in a manner that is beneficial to them all. Dave no longer lives in fear, has found love, acceptance of himself, and is moving past his abuse to begin healing. Rose has a mother she knows loves her, the ability to love herself, to love her wife, and a much more stable homelife that allows her to heal from years of neglect and uncertainty. Jade and Jake no longer live in isolation, no longer live in danger; they integrate into a society built for them, a society which loves them unconditionally, near friends that remind them that they are no longer alone. Dirk and Roxy are no longer in danger of HIC, have moved on past the negative coping habits and the accidental neglect they suffered in youth, and Dirk particularly is making an effort to grow from the toxic habits he picked up as he struggled with severe mental health issues alone - both with lovers that, for two isolated children who initially never had a single human within any sort of distance to them, represent everything they never thought they could have, and a step into actual life with people who are in their same time. Calliope is no longer bound to a tiny room with a brother who wishes to kill her, and has found a love which, initially, was never meant to be something she could have. Jane has her father, the only surviving guardian of the entire game, the business she was always meant to run, a love that she struggled to gain so desperately at the beginning of her session, and a chance to live without complete fear of assassination. Karkat no longer lives in fear of a society which wishes to kill him for his blood; Kanaya gets to live the life she chooses, not the path that is chosen for her; Terezi is no longer at a potential threat due to her blindness, and similarly is not under societal pressures to be who she thinks she should have been on Alternia; and Vriska, freed from the confines of what feeding her mother required, is able, when she returns, to be who she wishes to be, to achieve the enlightenment that (Vriska) did. All of the kids began with nothing, with situations that were, to say the least, less than ideal, and grew to a place where they were finally free.

John is the exact opposite of every other child in the game.

John begins with a loving father, one he does not entirely understand, but who plays to his son’s interests in an attempt to form a closer bond. From what we see of Poppop, he had a rather good future ahead of him; a wife, child, and a job that made him a fairly wealthy man, and if nothing else a very happy and kindly one. He had a perfect home in the suburbs, an education, a hobby that was in and of itself profitable should he have attempted to put any merit to being a professional pianist, and he suffered from no sort of trauma during his first thirteen years of life. There was nothing inherently wrong with John’s life, unlike the other kids.

This is where everything goes horribly wrong.

The other kids have suffered hardships. They have faced monsters day in and day out throughout their lives; fighting is no issue to Dave, who has fought his Bro his whole life; it is no issue to Jade, who takes her gun with her wherever she goes, and has essentially raised herself; it is certainly no issues to the trolls, quite literally tailor made to win the game by Doc Scratch. John has no ability to cope. He has had no reason to develop coping mechanisms, or to learn how to defend himself, or to learn how to handle the trauma that comes with death, war, and a daily struggle to survive. 

This is likely why we never see John react. He simply doesn’t know how to. 

He doesn’t know how to handle waking up to see, for his first interaction with her, Jade’s dead body, when they had promised to spend so much time together before. He doesn’t know how to handle seeing his father’s dead body, covered in blood, only seconds before being killed himself. They are not a situations he has ever had to deal with, situations unlike anything he has ever struggled with - and thus, he buries it. Focuses on the game, shoves it all to one side, focuses on the struggles of his friends and attempting to ensure they win the game when all else fails - because John is, essentially, a failsafe. 

Think of his classpect. John is the Heir of Breath; freedom inherited, under his control. He is the epitome of his aspect. John’s role in SBURB is to free those who are trapped; to free his friends from abuse and neglect, to free all their players from the doomed timelines of the game itself, to free the session from its barren state so a new universe can emerge at the end. John is made simply to ensure that their session wins, no matter how much they have to fight for it to begin with. It’s why, without John, the session is doomed from the start, with no potential to go on; it’s why Dave has to become Davesprite to ensure he survives. As the inheritor of freedom, John has a duty to ensure he similarly frees everyone he possibly can from whatever may be chaining them down. Think, for instance, how in the retconned timeline Vriska stops Rose from drinking; how Karkat and Dave’s relationship allows Dave to open up more clearly to himself about who he is and how he feels. John’s actions as a Heir of Breath are inherently linked to the freedom of his friends, whether he realises it or not. It’s why, ultimately, he needs to be someone who comes from such a stable background; he is free when he begins the game, and in an adequate place to free those around him as he has no prior baggage to deal with.

However, this puts him in a place to gain it as the game progresses. Whereas his friends are allowed time to heal from what which they suffer from, John himself simply loses things throughout the session. He loses his life, his home, his dad, his future, his stability - he sees things which he is unable to cope with, losing his innocence and naivety - with no true understanding of how he is meant to handle the stress and trauma. John, in essence, regresses to the same place his friends began at, as they continue to grow to the place he once knew well. 

Why is his classpect so vital to this? I have mentioned this before, but as the Heir of Breath, the freedom that John inherits is all-encompassing. With an inability to cope, he is unable to control what he frees people - including himself - from, and takes on the role of a True Heir of Breath. He frees unknowingly, without proper direction, and suffers deeply for it - because in the end, what he frees himself from most is his friends.

John frees himself from all the bonds he once had through all of his efforts to free his friends from their doomed timelines; once reaching Earth C, they are in a position to live the lives they never had, to evolve into the people they should have been. John is not. John’s position is weak, is regressive; it is a position in which the only way is down from the pedestal that he, very long ago, began the game on. Distanced from his friends - who likely do not realise that there is an issue, as the post-credit scenes would seem to imply (because why would they? They have won the game after years of struggle and have entered into a better world; why would they, for a moment, think that John does not share the same sentiment?) - John does not have anything to truly tie him to Earth C. It is not a world that holds anything for him; yes, his friends are there, but they are friends who do not remember the same things that he does due to the retcon, friends who have developed and matured and progressed without him, friends who no longer need him now that they do not need freeing, do not need a leader, do not need that failsafe to rely on. He has Jane, yes, but she is only his Nanna, and she has her Dad, as well as Roxy and Calliope, as well as a business; she has no reason to pursue the same bond with John as the other kids have with their young guardians. Worse still, he does not have his Dad. Yes, he has Jane’s Dad, but he is quite simply that; Jane’s Dad. He does not remember raising John, he does not remember things that John and his Dad did, he is not even the same man due to having to save Jane frequently from assassination attempts. 

I have seen people mention multiple times that John does not reveal his struggles because he doesn’t like to burden his friends, and in this case, this is simply another way that his classpect is freeing him from everything. Without an ability to tell them that something is wrong, they have no reason to be concerned for him; they have no reason to assume that he is struggling, that they need to keep an eye on him, to help him. This is why, I think, we got such a surge of “John is depressed” headcanons post-credits; he is in the perfect position to suffer from severe, perhaps chronic, depression, as well as (at least in my mind) PTSD, insomnia, and dissociation - and he has absolutely nobody to rely on. 

John, at the end of the game, is not in a good place. 

And this is almost entirely because of his classpect, what he began with, and what he has lost throughout the game’s progression.

[articulatelydecomposed]

Thoughts on Hiveswap

I’ve got a few pretty unrelated thoughts about hiveswap.

thoughts about Roxy, Trizza, and Joey’s sexuality (and my personal concerns with canon) under the cut

First, Roxy. How old is she? Giving her the benefit of the doubt about her being of age to drink, I’d probably say 21 or 22, because it seems like her primary job is (poorly and drunkedly) taking care of these neglected teens. The game is set in late 1994, and most of the beta kids are meteor-dropped in December of 1995, so in a little over a year, Roxy’s gonna be dealing with caring for Rose. No wonder Rose thought she was a bad mom, she’s literally a child who can barely take care of herself.

Next, Trizza. She’s gonna die. If Alternia is on the same time scale as Earth, then Feferi is gonna be meteor dropped within the next sweep, and who knows if there can be more than one heiress at once. If Joey and Xefros don’t kill her as part of their rebellion, then Glb’golyb will probably just eat her or something. Either way, I’d be shocked if she doesn’t die.

Now, about Joey’s compulsory heterosexuality, I am sure that’s exactly what it is. It’s clear she likes girls, and her only allusion to liking guys is when she tells Xefros that her password is a guy she likes. She could be telling the truth, but we have to remember this is the 90s. Today you can just go up to a stranger online and shout “I love girls!!“ and they’ll probably shout it back at you, because there’s all these vibrant LGBT communities online now, but that was way more marginal in the 90s, and Joey probably doesn’t feel safe coming out to her new alien friend. She might do it later, since Xefros told her he liked a guy. I mean, of course she could be bi but if she’s bi it means she can end up with Xefros and I really don’t want them to end up together.

Finally, and this is mostly my own concern for my own project, all rustbloods have telekinesis? What? Does this mean Damara (handmaid Damara, not pre-scratch) wasn’t born with time powers? fuck! This is gonna fuck up a major plot point of my musical. (Then again, I’ve changed so much for my musical already, I’m sure this one little thing won’t be the thing that gets me sued. Am I even allowed to use Homestuck as a derivative work for a musical? Am I allowed to change as much as I am?)

[skyplayer37]

With the first of my character analysis’ in Hiveswap Act 1, there seems to be no other place to start than Doc Scratch. He seems an odd choice, but it’ll make more sense as I expand on my theory that the naming convention of “The Man” can be applied to other characters. Otherwise you’d see a post here of Joey and the words “THE PIGEON” in bold aliased text and be very confused.

If you see the big word “UPDATE” below this part, I’ve added on more cool stuff I’ve found, but for the initial posting of this I’d like to recap Doc’s part in the first act and make some guesses on how he’ll be involved in the story as the acts progress.

On the surface level, his most obvious appearance is in the form of a chat program given to Xefros through is teleportation means. Only minutes after explaining to Joey that they shouldn’t chat over insecure connections, a deus ex machina literally solves this problem. 

EDIT: As another user, darkplumdragon, pointed out Xefros’ attention from Doc may be attributed to his willingness to being a Butler, very much like he took in the Handmaid to serve him. Doc may also see himself in Xefros, playing a very similar role to LE as Xefros does to Dammek. But with less heads exploding. 

 So Doc’s a good guy here right? Well....

The more seasoned Homestuck vets will read a little more into the hint system. Granted they actually find the hint system, unlike me. Hey, its a really tiny button!

Most of them are unhelpful or downright insulting:

But here’s the more important “hints”,

On Earth:

And then Alternia:

The third hint there on Earth is without a doubt Doc Scratch’s vernacular. From these hints we can learn a few things, listed in the order of the hints above:

> Earth 1: Doc doesn’t want to help you as it doesn’t matter to him how long it takes you to win or how hard the puzzles get for you. I took this in a more in-universe meaning, where the portal would send Joey to Alternia at the same moment in time no matter how long it took her to unlock the Earth’s side. But it could also mean that the game’s script doesn’t change based on time taken.

> Earth 2: Doc’s powers won’t work outside of Alternia. This matches what we already know about first guardians: their powers are omnipotent, but only within the universe they were birthed in. 

> Earth 3: It’s Doc, and he’s selfish, and he’s in this for some kind of personal gain. If it has to do with the coming of Lord English, we should be worried for Joey.

> Alternia: Once again confirming that this is Doc, as Alternia is “his neighborhood”, where his powers are available.

So what’s his plan? Before jumping into the list of possibilities, there’s one more thing to discuss. In a pre-released image that in-game hangs upon Dammek’s wall, we were able to translate some alarming text. Credit to MrCheeze

“She’s in with someone else, the white man??”

So, Doc is playing both sides.....and Dammek knows....But why?

Doc Scratch is a character that comes with a lot of danger to the narrative existence of the story. The fourth wall means nothing to him and he’s been in contact with the reader of the story, the writer of the story, and all the character’s in between. 

Have you heard of the Cuil Theory? Let’s liken Scratch’s impact on the story on a similar scale. But with Cues. Because y’know cue balls

1 Cue - Doc Scratch is working with the rebels to ensure Trizza’s fall. He’s playing both sides to ensure the rebel’s victory. By Homestuck’s start Feferi is the new heiress.She’s a docile leader, leaving the world weak enough to allow for the Condescension’s total reign, giving SGRUB the perfect set of young trolls to pass the game and bring forth LE.

2 Cues - Doc Scratch is acting as a way to lampshade common point-and-click cliches. He renders the hint system worthless and presents Deus Ex Machinas to fix any situation. He’ll be responsible for covering up plot holes with ridiculous solutions, like Joey magically being able to understand trolls or a bomb not killing Xefros out of random chance.

3 Cues - Doc Scratch is very much aware of Hiveswap’s form. He understands the rules of the video game and bends it too his will. The Scratch segments of later acts will involve sanity effects, very much like Undertale did. Your game will close on its own, your volume will be adjusted, your inventory will be messed with or your game will pause on its own.

4 Cues - Doc Scratch is aware of Hiveswap’s form on a massive scale. He understand’s the dozen of potential Joey’s he could be talking to based on the player’s choice. He understands that Hiveswap is being played not just by the player, but by thousands. He explains how he is just one of limitless Doc Scratchs, trapped in a single copy of the game, and that other’s games have other Doc Scratchs. Or bandicoots if you will.

5 Cues - Doc Scratch’s knowledge is limitless. He displays the steam page for the game on his TV and looks over the reviews. He discusses the sales figures and development hell. He has his own opinions on “peculiar” gentlemen and the Hiveswap development team. He begins a lengthy list of complaints of the ending of a certain web-comic, which contained a version of him far less superior (as he claims), but is cut off by a self-insert of Cohen Edenfield. Cohen chokes Doc Scratch to death with the cord from a Nintendo 64 controller.

6 Cues - That was his plan. To give you a boner. And you got one.