#i want to have a PROPER closure between these 2 dudes

[toastywindow]

THIS IS MAKING ME INSANE IN THE MEMBRANE.

[waynedunlaptheorgandonor]

can you please give some reasons why you don’t think Caryl is done after this? Don’t see how it can happen now unfortunately.

not to invalidate your feelings, but are we even watching the same show, my dude?? 

there has never, in ten years, one decade, 87,600 hours, been a more caryl heavy season of twd

i’ve done several in-depth analysis posts, and i gotta get to bed soon, so here are the highlights just to ease your silly lil’ mind (under the cut bc it ended up being a stream-of-conscious novel):

first and foremost, we have a new showrunner, who is a woman, which is always a plus for our female characters bc we have someone who will make sure they’re three-dimensional people, and that was a big problem with caryl for a while. gimple put carol into a “i was abused but i got strong but now i’m sad bc i killed ppl :(((” corner and let her collect dust, and tbf, he also put daryl in the “i was abused but i got strong but now i must wallow in my Man Pain in silence” corner, and then he kind of just forgot about how they had an amazing chemistry and focused more on his three season-long dick jerking contest between Rapey Man #3 and Main Lead Male Grappling With Loss and Morality. so that helps us out a lot!

now in terms of the actual show, i’m just gonna like, list things without giving analysis or clarifying bc i’m tired and have already explained a lot of it, but if you need me to explain again you can just message me and i’ll answer it when i’m awake:

caryl’s storyline has been set up to sail since the start of s9

carol and zeke were always going to breakup, and she only married him for henry and escapism bc she’s never dealt with any of her trauma ever in her entire life and there is a lot of it

the title cards indicated as such

carol’s wardrobe change between the time jump in s9, and between “the calm before” and “the storm” indicated as such

carol’s wardrobe this season also indicates where her mindset is rn

kang is rewriting carol’s storyline, and in effect, rewriting caryl’s storyline, in order to right the wrongs done before, and that’s why it’s taking so long, bc she wants to tell it properly instead of just having them smash in the middle of a field with no build-up

not that we’d be against it, but i personally prefer it this way

carol trusts daryl as a father figure more than zeke. see: her asking him to watch over henry bc zeke is too idealistic, and “so what if i dream about you being my husband and henry’s dad sometimes? shut up”

carol went to visit daryl in the woods to escape her marriage that she didn’t actually want to be in anyway

carol got daryl to stop isolating himself

daryl then proceeded to do all his therapy homework and has settled down and is like “cool, time to finally get with carol!”

except kang is telling carol’s storyline properly

which means that carol is in CrazyTown rn, bc she has 1. been in an abusive marriage 2. seen her daughter walk out of a barn as a walker and then get shot in the head 3. seen a small girl stand over her dead sister while wielding a bloody knife and smiling like a maniac 3b. after having promised her late father she’d protect her 4. had to shoot said maniac girl in the head 4b. after having promised her late father she’d protect her 5. made a connection with a small boy against all efforts to the contrary and then he got eaten 6. finally saved a child and thought she finally broke her curse and got into a rly boring weird fantasy marriage in order to protect him only to see his reanimated head chilling out on a pike among a line of all of her dead friends

AND SHE REALLY NEEDS TO DEAL WITH THOSE THINGS, OK?

so she has #cracked and is spiraling, and daryl’s entire storyline this season has been “shit carol is trying to smuggle guns to rendezvous with the enemy,  wait shit lydia is getting beat up let me help her, wait shit carol is kidnapping whisperers and torturing them in the basement, wait shit lydia ran away, wait shit...” etc

SO HE HAS A REASON TO BE KIND OF TIRED RN 

but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t care, it just means that all this tension is leading up to something INTENSE between the two of them. it’s going to come to a head Big Time, and i am v v v hype

anyway back to random things that have been pro-caryl this season

they keep juxtaposing zeke and con with carol and daryl, and caryl pick each other every time

carol’s choice of weapon suddenly being a bow

flower symbolism

boat symbolism

new mexico

acorns and bracelets and their subsequent #meanings

THE FUCKING DREAM WHY ARE WE NOT STILL OBSESSING OVER THAT DREAM THAT DREAM WAS SO IMPORTANT???

she. literally. dreamt. she. was. married. to. daryl. dixon. in. literal. canon. and. stated. it. wasn’t. the. first. time. and. that. she. thinks. the. dreams. are. good. like wtfffff

daryl does not have feelings for con and is very explicit about it

the fact that it keeps coming up is delicious tho

“follow my voice” vs “follow my light”

“i’m the one you talk to”

the repetitive use of we/us

“if i only knew what you told me i wouldn’t know shit”

“i NEED you to stay”

alpha/beta foils and parallels

repetitive reminders of both carol and daryl’s past abuse

did i mention the dream where she dreamt that she was married to daryl bc i feel like that might have been important

carol having sex with zeke

yes that’s a good thing

yes i’m entertained by it and totally chill

we are at the very top of the roller coaster, lads, we are tying up all the strings, we are making sure carol and zeke have closure, we’re gonna get (probably in an irritating murder way) closure with connie, and Then There Were Two

10.14 is called “look at the flowers” for christsake

“i could never hate you” ok fanfic trope number 6 billion

all of it

literally all of it

this has been a crazy romantic, tumultuous season, and some really meticulous and purposeful and beautiful storytelling and it is about to pay tf off

until i am given E X P L I C I T reason not to:

I WILL STAN KANG

and also, just to add, there are characters and plotlines that exist outside of caryl, and the writers have to incorporate all of them. there are gonna be scenes with them, there are gonna be things that happen that seem negative but that make sense when you look at them on a larger scale. you cannot, CANNOT, look at each individual thing and take it at face value. we have a showrunner who knows how to write now, so little things mean bigger things, and not always the things you expect

i know this is not the proper use of bullet points

it is past my bedtime

but anyway caryl is coming ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

stay hype, stan kang, and get daryl to call carol sweetheart 2k20

the end

-diz

p.s. remember that dream? wild huh

[gaychins]

i’ve been meaning to write about phoenix&apollo rs in aa5/6

but i guess first .. i need to go in what they did to phoenix in aa5-6 and what it meant lol - they frame him as this legendary attorney which like ok he IS but with that you have the judge acting as if he were still a rookie And his character acting as if it were still in aa1, his speech in aa5 against apollo abt trusting in your clients no matter that is Ridiculous considering everything that has happened to him like do we need a reminder of matt engarde? of dahlia? OF ZAK GRAMARYE? of everything that made him lose his badge? using ot is enough honestly because part of his development WAS realizing that believing in your client is just a mean to find out the truth and the TRUTH is the main thing but then in aa5 you have him… giving advice to athena&apollo abt believing in the clients & even belittling apollo for being suspicious when he has reasons for it lmao this retcon of phoenix that makes no sense also throws the entire premise of ace attorney in the trashcan you have phoenix acting oblivious, naive, w a saviour complex and completely selfabsorved (aasking apollo why is he making the case more difficult as if apollo’s best friend hasn’t died? lol)

in aa6 they keep this up with the selfabsoverment (phoenix asking a dude that has KILLED HIMSELF bc of the harsh law Why didn’t he simply go to phoenix like ? ?? ? ?? ?ok) and w phoenix emphasizing on the Believe in Your Clients until his aa2 ‘development’ happens in their last case which is EXACTLY like 2-4 case with maya being kidnapped and being used as hostage by his own client…. there’s no NEED to do any of that since we have ALREADY seen it happen before this is all what he has gone through before and it’s just RIDICULOUS - 

but ANYWAY the point is: they wrote him forgetting everything that has happened to him beforehand and completely nulled his flaws as if he could do no wrong since he is a 1) legendary attorney 2) saviour. now. we add that up with his relationship/dynamic with apollo. in 4-1, when they first met we have apollo idolizing phoenix. we find out he has looked up to phoenix and it’s prob not farfetched to say he was part of the reason apollo became a lawyer as well. so. we have that and then his conceptions/the image he had of phoenix being destroyed one by one as the trial goes - the first time he crossexamines phoenix, he keeps talking about how it’s impossible for phoenix to lie (especially UNDER OATH) it’s not possible for the Grand Phoenix Wright to do something wrong and then, well, you press him and you see phoenix being secretive and more cryptic not wanting to give information at the moment and saying he has not touched the bottle when they, actually, have his prints on it (it does not come to play the reason behind all that it was v wellplanned by phoenix+kristoph was the one to exchange the bottles) because its MAINPOINT is to deconstruct this image of phoenix we have and it ends with phoenix giving apollo the forged evidence as the breakpoint - and then apollo punches him.

so in aa4, their entire dynamic is not the best. we have apollo not trusting him+phoenix being cryptic and using him for his schemes - and even though he is called apollo’s mentor that is not…. what he is exactly? we barely see him until 4-4 where you learn everything abt what happened to him but that’s for the JURORS so apollo is still….. not involved really so, by the end, we have the acknowledge of phoenix knowing since the beginning that apollo is related to trucy and keeping it secret from both of them and using the kid to go against his ex-boss who killed his halfsibling’s dad (and gets his prosecutor friend to go against his own brother as well). tldr: their dynamic is MESSY, they don’t trust each other that much (by the end it has gotten better &even tho apollo has his issues w phoenix he still…… goes after him for validation the scene of ‘did you trust/believe me?’ w phoenix answering ‘not really’ is Smth) &it’s estranged w so many layers on it BUT, as a counterpoint, and like i mentioned earlier it does feel better by the end? and hopeful? with the postcreds we get w phoenix where he says it’s apollo time now so it feels like there’s room for growth between them AND phoenix to learn how to be a good mentor & a reconciliation between the two as bad as the reaction that apollo will have once he finds out that phoenix knew from the beginning about him&trucy lol 

HAVING SAID ALL THAT, we get to the Point of this post: phoenix & apollo in aa5/6. so. we have all that that happened in aa4 and what do they do? just like what they did to phoenix’s entire personality&flaws? it’s forgotten. apollo goes back to idolizing phoenix as if 4-1 had never happened before, with him going after phoenix for validation & simply looking up to him the Most when their dynamic&relationship were SO complex before and this ends up not becoming only a disservice to both but also uncomfortable. 

phoenix acting like he did nothing bad & apollo going after him as a Novice Attorney should just feels wrong & cheapens it down & it makes whatever phoenix say not feel GENUINE. they try to make you think phoenix cares about apollo but for example, in aa5, this is only related to himself - how could apollo leave their agency? how could he accuse athena & do this to both of us? and forgets things such as: trucy being taken hostage in the space place being because SHE WENT THERE TO FIND APOLLO so y’know? why is apollo never mentioned as someone they’re worrying about? isn’t he supposed to be there? and added up with the ‘oh i forgot about apollo’ jokes they kept and how that’s literally the only thing they keep from aa4 phoenix (apollo being the butt of his jokes), it doesn’t look good. 

and in aa6, especially HERE, where phoenix caring abt apollo and being Proud of him is the biggest thing & a supposed ‘closure’ to apollo’s arc(lol) it doesn’t feel good at all bc there’s no proper buildup !! it actually feels even more uncomfortable. with phoenix trying to act like a Good Guy & Good Boss & talking abt how he ‘saw’ apollo grow & how he is ‘proud’ of him while putting all the shit he did in aa4 under the rug AND w apollo not being allowed to be mad at him and only allowed to idolize him as a bonus. 

CONCLUSION: a mentor & apprentice dynamic that could’ve been interesting, a charac dev to phoenix that could’ve made sense&would’ve been good, were all thrown in the trash for an idolized & no wrong version of it that doesn’t feel fulfilling at all.

[tcookies]

Why I'm mad about Nat's death:

Something I'm really upset about with Natasha's death (other than the fact of her death itself) is that basically everyone's arc had proper closure but Nat.

Steve got Bucky back and also had the chance to reunite with Peggy.

Tony got to marry Pepper and have the retired family life he dreamt of as well as get closure about his AoU vision by performing the snap to prevent the vision that had haunted him for years. He also got to talk and resolve things with his father, which was something that had been teased since the beginning of his arc for years.

Bruce finally resolved things with Hulk and has made peace with himself, able to lead a happy and carefree life now.

Clint got his family back and can officially retire for good (unless he decides to pick up the bow again to maybe help train new recruits).

Thor got to speak with his mother (and see Loki) one last time while also realizing that he was still worthy despite his descent into depression.

MEANWHILE NAT GETS THE SHORT END OF THE STICK (AGAIN). We never actually saw how things between her and Bruce were resolved. We never saw Tony apologizing to her for accusing her of being a double-spy in Civil War (even though Tony and Steve are able to have a brief chat about moving on from their past issues right before Tony gives him back the shield). All we had was her fetching Clint, brainstorming the Time Heist, and then SPLAT she's dead forever?! No personal conversation with Steve, Tony, or Bruce to clarify things whatsoever. The only important scene we had of Nat was when she was telling Steve that the Avengers were her family. Looking at it now and knowing she's killed off an hour later, that scene feels forced and like it was written in as an extra last minute development for Nat before her death. The trailer scenes of her training with the punching bag, at the shooting range, and sitting alone in the rain were all cut out from the film in favor of unnecessary (although admittedly entertaining) fanservice scenes like Cap VS Cap, Antman wanting a photo with the fan kids, etc. Once again, Nat is pushed to the sidelines in favor of the core 3 (Steve, Tony, and Thor). Natasha's character only get 33 minutes of screentime in Endgame while the core 3 get over an hour. Not to mention Natasha barely appeared let alone spoke in Infinity War. And I don't think it's fair that her character gets pushed aside to dedicate more screentime/development towards 3 characters who each already have their own title trilogies and have hundreds of minutes worth of screentime and character development compared to Nat whose character development relies on the Avengers films. And yes, she is getting her own film, but it's a solo - not a trilogy.

Honestly, ever since Infinity War's release, I was actually 99% sure that Natasha would die by self-sacrifice. What I did NOT expect was for her scenes to be cut out (as usual), and no memorial or funeral for her. What also makes me mad is that like 2 minutes after her death, there's already a comedic scene shoved in. We have 1 minute of the boys "mourning" Nat (with Clint bitching at Thor and saying "it was supposed to be me" like Clint my dude stop making it about yourself) and then it cuts to the soul stone being arranged into the gauntlet with the other stones. And then Rocket goes "boo!" for shits and giggles to make viewers laugh - like wtf? Not the best time for comedy. The audience is still processing Nat's death and mourning an OG Avenger who has been in the MCU for a decade and not a moment later we're being thrown into a brief moment of hilarity. It rips you out of the moment and kind of makes the audience already start to forget about Nat as the plot moves forward to ACT 3.

It doesn't help that she's barely mentioned afterward, let alone gets even a memorial. Hell, they could have at least laid a red rose on the side of Tony's wreath and then the directors could explain after that the extra rose was a dedication to Nat. I understand that putting her belt on Tony's memorial wreath wouldn't have made it Tony's wreath so much anymore, but ffs at least put some sort of small trinket or anything to dedicate to her.

You know, correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought the AVENGERS films were supposed to be about the AVENGERS as a group (specifically the OG 6) - NOT IRON MAN, CAPTAIN AMERICA & THOR film # 4 featuring Prof Hulk with special appearances by Hawkeye & Black Widow.

[staticscreenwriting]

Heaven can wait - Billy Hargrove

Synopsis: Love letters, mothers, valentine’s day aaaand everyone’s favorite song to sing along to when drunk and emotional. 

A/N: I wrote this for @moonstruckhargrove ‘s Valentine’s Day writing challenge. I had the “love letter” prompt. What I only realized when I was done though, was that I mostly ignore the “it has to be centered around Valentine’s Day” rule. Vday is mentioned so I hope this still counts. Enjoy.

[additional note: I am German. Sometimes I get the tense wrong or make mistakes. I am useless when it comes to punctuation. Go easy on me, please.]

Heaven can wait we're only watching the skies. Hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.  

February fucking sucks. That’s the underlying truth of it all. It’s grey and dark and cold and miserable. Christmas has come and gone and the novelty of snow has worn off by the time January 12th rolls around.

Hawkins Indiana might look like a scene straight from some cheesy Hallmark greeting card but it sure doesn’t feel like it.

(Y/N) pulls her coat tighter around herself as she steps out of Hawkins High and into the harsh winter wind. The sound of crunching snow beneath her boots that brought her joy just a month earlier, now only serves to remind her that summer is so many months away.

To say she’s sick of it might just be the understatement of the century.

There’s a great bustling of people on the school grounds. They’re hanging up banners and bows and hearts made of paper and entirely too much glitter glue. It’s like middle school but worse. Because back in middle school, Valentine’s day was this cutesy tradition that was over the top cheesy and ridiculous but in the end it was just for shits and giggles anyway.

High School is a whole different story. Valentine’s Day is serious business at Hawkins High. Various committees had formed and organized all kinds of things for the big day. You can buy chocolates for your crush and have it sent to them in class. They set up a wall that students can pin their teenage love confessions to. They even organized a fucking dance for the night of Valentine’s Day.

And now it’s not like (Y/N) hates the day or the couples or the shameless commercialization of love. It’s just — a lot.

Additionally, it makes her aware just how awfully single she is and how the one guy she truly wants really only sees her as a friend. And you don’t date friends.

There’s countless movies where the main characters start out as best friends then fall in love and then live happily ever after. But that’s not reality is it ? (Y/N) parents started out as the best of friends then fell in love somewhere along the line. They got married in spring, had little (Y/N) then lived and loved until their friendship was sucked into the big black void of everyday life. Now dad lives in a bachelor pad in some high rise in Indianapolis and fucks his secretary and mom takes antidepressants as if they were tic-tacs.

They don’t show that in the movies, do they ?

So actually ever confessing her feelings for her best friend is an absolute no-go.

Speak of the devil.

Billy is leaning against his car looking like a young god, unbothered by the perpetual teenage disillusion with the future.

Like the world is his and he knows it.

“ You’re gonna get hypothermia one of these days ? “ (Y/N) approaches him and points towards his half-unbuttoned shirt.

Billy might just be the most stubborn person (Y/N) knows. He simply refuses to buy winter clothes. “ I’m not gonna stay here anyway “ is what he always says and sure, that might be the case, but he’s here now and he’s freezing his ass off. Yet he’d rather freeze than admit it and cave and buy himself a freaking winter coat.

“ I have a great immune system “ Billy replies, a smirk pulling at the edge of his lips.

A smirk that makes (Y/N)’s heart beat just a little faster.

“ Oh do you ? That why you been sneezing all day ? “

“ Shut up “ Billy replies then takes a last drag from his cigarette and throws it to the ground.

“ You got somewhere to be today ? “ He asks (Y/N), eyebrows furrowed. There’s a certain edge to his voice that immediately tells her that something is wrong. There’s something on his mind he wants to talk about. Something weighing on his shoulders.

“ Nope. Why ? “

He just nods towards the Camaro and mumbles a “ get in “ before opening his car door and slumping down on the driver’s seat.

So it’s one of those days. Where he doesn’t talk, at least not yet. (Y/N)’s learned that asking questions just makes him talk even less. He will open up, eventually. It’s just that opening up feels like admitting defeat to him. Feels like showing weakness.

It’s not and (Y/N) is trying her best to make sure he knows this. That he can allow himself to be vulnerable with her of all people. Because despite it all, she’s his best friend.

The drive is mostly silent except for the sound of Billy’s beloved Metallica tape playing through the car radio. He looks tense. His hands are gripping the steering wheel tightly and there’s a serious look on his face. It makes (Y/N) nervous. Makes her fear that a Goodbye is closer than expected. That maybe his dad is taking him away again. Somewhere else. Somewhere new. She knows there’s an end to their friendship eventually. An expiry date. All he wants is to go back to California and though she’s his best friend, (Y/N) doesn’t think she’s worth enough to make him stay. Or at least wait. To wait until she’s figured out which way to go after graduation. To see if maybe her path could lead her west. Could lead he towards California. Towards the sun. Towards the beach. Towards Billy.

Now that idea doesn’t sound all that bad to her. But would he even want her to come ?

Billy parks the car at the edge of the quarry. It’s kind of their place. Unofficially of course. But they come here whenever they need to vent. Whenever things get too bad. Whenever Neil adds another bruise to Billy’s skin. Whenever things at (Y/N)’s home feel like suffocating her.

“ Sooo … “ (Y/N) speaks up after a moment.

“ I gotta show you something “  

“ Okay ? “

For a moment Billy fumbles around in the pocket of his leather jacket, before he pulls out a very crumpled piece of paper.

“ So uh — Neil thought it was time to get rid of some of mom’s things that we still had and, you know him. Asshole didn’t wanna deal with any of it so he put all the boxes into my room. Most of it was clothes and shit that I don’t want to keep either but as I went through a box of records she left with us, I found a bunch of letters “ Billy starts to explain. His voice is laced with emotion. There’s anger and sadness and utter confusion.

It’s always hard for him to talk about his mother. When they started to become friends, (Y/N) has honestly thought she was dead, the way Billy didn’t talk about her at all. Just mentioned his mom every once in a while. It took one of Carol’s parties and a bottle of Tequila for him to come clean about the fact that his mom didn’t die, she left.

Every once in a while, when he has a really good or a really bad day, he tells (Y/N) little snippets of what his life used to be like. Back before his mom left. When he still had a proper family. And every time (Y/N) can tell just how hard it still weights on his heart.

“ Letters ? “

“ Mm-mh. Letters from my mom to a man. Some dude named Michael. Letters she never sent. Fucking love letters. “

There was never a doubt in (Y/N)’s mind, that Billy adores his mother. Not the woman who left but the one he got to know before. Whenever he talks about her it’s with love and fond memories. He seems different now though. Unsure if he really properly knew his mother to begin with.

“ She talks about how much she loves him. How she wishes she could be there with him. She mentions me too. Says I’m too young to understand. Too young to do it by myself. Fucking hell she was unhappy even when I was just a baby. I — I thought that things used to be good at one point but apparently it was shit from the start. “

(Y/N) honestly doesn’t know what to say. She wants to hold him and tell him that his mother doesn’t know the person she decided to leave behind. That it’s her loss. That she is never going to see the wonderful boy he grew up to be. The one that means so much to (Y/N). The one she loves so dearly.

Only friends don’t say that, do they ?

“ There’s tons of letters. The first one goes all the way back to when I was just 2 months old. Last one was written just days before she left. I — I wonder if she went there. I wonder if she had enough and decided she wanted to be with this guy. I wonder when she decided I was old enough to leave behind. “

He’s caught somewhere between pure rage and utter sadness. It takes over his mind like a tidal wave. Like suddenly everything he ever thought he knew is full on bullshit. His head is filled with so many what-ifs. All his happy childhood memories, where they really all that happy if his mom wished she could’ve been somewhere else ?

“ You think she might be there ? “ (Y/N) asks, wondering if she should be saying anything at all.

“ I was asking myself that question too. She must’ve gone there, right ? In all these letters she keeps talking about how all she wants is to be with this dude. It only makes sense, right ? “

“ Right. “

(Y/N) carefully considers the next words. She’s about to propose an idea that could potentially change everything. Good or bad.

But maybe some things are worth it.

“ Do you wanna go ? “

“ Go where ? “

“ Go see her in — “ (Y/N) takes the letter from his hand and reads the address out loud “ Pensacola Florida “

Billy combs his fingers through his blonde locks and lets out a sigh. “ That’s like a 10 hour drive. And for what ? “

“ Closure ? “

There’s a million different ways this could go and they’re all flashing in front of Billy’s eyes at that moment. He’s been thinking about this moment ever since his mom left and now that he finally has an idea of where she might be, he’s terrified.

“ Would you come ? “ he asks it almost timidly. As if there’s any chance she’s gonna say no. As if she wouldn’t follow him to the end of the earth and further.

“ Billy, you’re my best friend I’d come anywhere you want me to “

“ Yeah, yeah. You’re are. “ And for a moment he hesitates as if he wants to say so much more. Only he doesn’t dare speak those words.

“ So, Florida ? “

Billy takes her hand in his and squeezes it for a moment. His hands are warm and rough and (Y/N) wonders what they’d feel like touching other parts of her body. Then she scolds herself for it because friends don’t think stuff like that. Do they ?

“ Florida! “

- OOO -

The camaro is filled with the smell of cream soda and beef jerky. But really, that’s the smell of a good road trip.

Before they embarked on their epic adventure, Billy insisted they stock up on all the snacks and drinks anyone could ever consume on a 10 hour drive.

The radio is playing softly in the background as the two teens laugh and bicker about god and the world.

Hearing Billy laugh, like actually genuinely laugh, is something (Y/N) thinks she’ll never get enough of. He’s got the most radiant smile, the most infectious laugh. It’s a downright shame the world doesn’t give him more reasons to do it. And if we’re being real honest here, (Y/N) takes a little pride in being the one that can get the laughs and smiles from him.

“ So what did you tell your parents ? “ Billy asks then follows it up with a “ Twizzler please “

(Y/N) pulls a twizzler out of the package and holds it out towards Billy’s mouth, basically feeding the sweet treat to him.

“ Ah you know, It’s my weekend with dad so mom thinks I’m there. Dad thinks I’m at the Valentine’s Day dance. It’s no big deal, really “

“ Sorry about that by the way “ Billy mumbles around the bit of his Twizzler.

“ ‘bout what ? “

“ Making you miss the dance. “

(Y/N) scoffs. As is she was gonna go to the dance anyway. Going to prom with your friends was one thing but going to a Valentine’s Day dance by yourself was just sad.

“ Oh yeah because being single at the Valentine’s Day dance is totally something I was looking forward to. “

“ Ah, I’m sure you could’ve found some guy to take you. “

“ But it’s a Valentine’s Day dance, Billy. You don’t want some guy to take you. You want the guy. “

Billy raises his eyebrow in question before taking a sip from his cream soda.

“ So what’s the guy like then ? “ he asks.

You. (Y/N) thinks. But she knows that even if anything were to ever happen between them, Billy isn’t the type of guy to shoq up to school dances. He’s not one for big dramatic gestures. He’s just Billy. And that’s enough.

And anyway, a road trip to Florida fueled by cream soda and twizzlers sounds way more exciting than some school dance anyway.

“ Billy Idol “

“ What ? Really ? “

“ Oh yeah. He’s hot, he makes great music and he’s got the whole bad boy thing going for him”.

Billy shakes his head in disbelief though (Y/N) can just make out the hint of a smile pulling at the corner of his lips. Billy doesn’t smile a lot but when he does oh god it’s marvelous.

“ That all it takes ? Some bleached hair and a leather jacket ? “

“ And really tight leather pants “

“ Of course, can’t forget those “.

A silence settles upon the two. Thick with words unspoken. By now the snow has vanished from the surroundings and (Y/N) can’t help but feel somehow liberated.

Like she’s escaped the winter and the cold and the miserable truth that with the actual spring comes their graduation and with that the end of her time with Billy. It’s like she gets the warmth and the sun and the joy without the heartbreak.

Maybe this is what they need, she thinks, one last adventure before the inevitably have to say goodbye.

“ Can we go to the beach ? “ (Y/N) asks, images flooding her head of burying her feet in the warm sand and forgetting about the grey cloud above her hometown for just a moment.

“ Yeah. Yeah we can “

(Y/N) takes another sip of her drink “ Can we also go to Disney World ?“

Billy doesn’t answer but he smiles. A full on smile. It doesn’t stretch upon his entire face but it’s big enough to earn itself the title of a proper smile. And that’s all she needs, really. This is better than any ride at any theme park could ever be.

- OOO -

The setting sun casts the sky in vibrant shades of pink and orange. It’s like a picture from a postcard and though (Y/N)’s seen many sunsets in her life, she knows this one is her favorite. There’s something magical about it.

They’re parked on the edge of a gas station parking lot. Being on the road for hours after a rather stressful day at school, they’re both exhausted and decided it’s best to rest for the night.

Billy is finishing a bag of beef jerky as (Y/N) switches through the different radio stations looking for something to listen to. Looking for a station that’s playing anything but the Flashdance soundtrack.

“ Let us die young or let us live forever

We don't have the power, but we never say never

Sitting in a sandpit, life is a short trip

The music's for the sad man”

“ Oh my god I love this song “ (Y/N) exclaims as the words to Forever Young echo through the Camaro.

“ I hate this song “

“ Oh come oooon now. It’s catchy. “

Billy only rolls his eyes “catchy doesn’t mean good”.

“ No but catchy means I get to sing along “

And she does. At the very top of her lungs. She belts out the words to the chorus like her life depends on it. There’s so much joy on her face though, that Billy can’t even be mad. In fact, he finds himself admiring her and her unwavering love for life. The way she just lets go and allows herself to be goofy and ridiculous. He wishes he could let go and just — be.

“ FOREEEEEVER YOUUUUUUNG I WANT TO BEEE FOREEEEEEVER YOUNG. Come on Billy. I know you want to sing along “.

“ I don’t sing. “

“ Nah. Bullshit. You’re just embarrassed. I bet you can’t sing “

“ Neither can you “

“ I know. So what ? It’s just us, right ? Just you and I. Who cares ? “

And really, who does care ? Maybe this trip was his awakening. Maybe he can let go when it is just the two of them. Him and (Y/N). (Y/N) who is honest but never judges him unfairly. Who lets him be the person he is. Always. Who never tries to change him. Not even the bad parts. Not even the really shitty parts he wants to change himself.

So he let’s go. For the first time in a long time. And not in the way of getting blackout drunk. But in letting himself be ridiculous. Be a dumb teenager singing along to a dumb song. He lets himself be goofy. Allows himself to be, well — young.

“ So many dreams swinging out of the blue. We let them come truuuue ! “

“ Hah ! I knew it! You even know the words !”

And when he catches the pure and unfiltered happiness in (Y/N)’s eyes and the huge smile spreading across her face, he thinks maybe this isn’t so bad. Maybe it’s worth it.

So he grabs her hand and their voices mix as the belt along to the chorus.

“ Forever young, I want to be forever young. Do you really want to live forever, forever and ever ? “

It’s like magic caught in moment. Like love caught inside a ‘79 Chevrolet Camaro. And Billy never wants it to end.

- OOO -

The outside world is only illuminated by the distant glow of the gas station’s neon signs as (Y/N) wakes up in the back of the Camaro. Billy had generously offered her the more comfortable sleeping space while he closed his eyes still sitting in the driver’s seat which, (Y/N) notices, is now deserted.

She spots him leaned against the front of the car, cigarette in hand. The magic from earlier is gone and has made room for all the anxiety of what’s to come once they reach their destination.

Slowly (Y/N) climbs out of the car and stands next to Billy.

“ You alright ? “

He doesn’t say anything for a moment, just takes a drag and blows the cigarette smoke into the nightair.

“ I honestly have no fucking clue anymore “ Billy scoffs, letting his tongue wet his lips in unease.

(Y/N) notices a can of beer in the hand that isn’t holding onto the cigarette.

“ Have you been drinking ? No judgement or anything just if you did I can drive tomorrow morning “.

Billy shakes his head “ Nah. I uh — I thought it would help settle my nerves but it doesn’t. Only had a sip. I just — I’m terrified, (Y/N) “

It’s unusual for Billy to tell anyone how he feels so (Y/N) knows this is special. That this really means something. That this situation must weight so heavy on his heart.

“ I’ve been imagining this day for so long. Since the moment she left really. And now that it’s actually happening I don’t know how to feel. I have — I have no idea how to react when we find her. If we even find her. Who knows she might not even be there. Do I talk to her ? What do I tell her ? I don’t know anything anymore. I just — she’s my mom and she just left “

There’s a sniffle, then another one and another. And just like that Billy comes undone right in front of (Y/N). His face shows pure agony. Deep sadness. Absolute confusion. All at once. There’s anger and pain and heartache. If she could she’d take it all from him and live with his pain if it meant he never had to feel it again.

But she can’t.

So she does the one thing she can do. Show him she’s there with him every step of the way. The good, the bad and most of all the ugly.

She softly leans her head against Billy’s shoulder as he drops the cigarette stump into the can of beer gone stale by now. His arm finds its way around (Y/N)’s shoulder who promptly links her fingers with his.

Even with all the misery and heartache and angst, a little of the magic comes back suddenly. With soft touches and hearts filled with love for the other.

“ Florida is nice “ (Y/N) says as the both watch the sun slowly rising above the horizon.

“ California is better “ Billy replies “ You’d like it “.

“ You should show me one day. I uh — I applied to some colleges on the west coast so … “

Billy looks down towards the girl cuddled into his arms and it’s like a spark ignites deep inside his heart. And it sounds like some absolute pussy shit. Like something Harrington would probably write in one of his cheesy letters to the Wheeler girl. But it’s true.

No matter how much he tries to deny it, the future absolutely scares him. But a future with (Y/N) doesn’t sound so bad. It sounds comforting. It sounds like something he’d very much want.

“ Would you want to go ? “

“ To California ? “

Billy nods.

“ Yeah obviously “.

“ With me ? “

It’s (Y/N)’s turn to nod now. She wants to say so much. Mostly that she loves him and that she wants nothing more than to go about this life with him. But she doesn’t because some things mean too much to say them out loud, even if there’s nothing you’d rather do.

“ I’d like that too. Very much “ he tells her “ You’re pretty much the only person I don’t get sick of. And I — that’s pretty neat “.

Billy Hargrove has never told anyone that he loves them. He thinks this is as close as he’s ever come before.

As he looks down at her, illuminated by the sunrise and the pink neon sign advertising 70ct slushies, Billy thinks she looks phenomenal in pink. He thinks she’s probably the prettiest sight he’s ever seen.

And he wants to kiss her, so badly. With every fiber of his being. But this isn’t the time or the place. She deserves better than kissing this version of him. The tired, anxiety stricken mess.

So he’s going to wait. Even if it goes against everything in him.

“ You ready to get back on the road ? “ he asks instead and prays to every higher power that he hasn’t just wasted his chance.

(Y/N) nods again and the magic is gone.

- OOO -

There’s a pale blue house at the end of a cul-de-sac. It has a big front yard with a swing set and a white picket fence surrounding the property. Ther mailbox is white and splattered with the same blue paint of the house. In bold black letters it tells everyone that this house belongs to the Stone-Hargrove household.

Billy and (Y/N) sit in the Camaro, parked just across the street from the house and observe it closely. No one is home right now, that much is obvious. The lights are off and no one’s been seen through the big front window yet. There’s no cars in the driveway and everything is quiet.

“ Should we leave ? “ Billy asks and nervously wipes his sweaty hands on his jeans.

“ Do you want to leave ? “

He thinks for a moment then shakes his head.

“ Then we won’t leave.”

While Billy doesn’t dare take his eyes off the house, (Y/N) reads through the letters Billy has handed to her. They’re all varying in sizes and shape. Some of the love confessions are written down neatly on stationary paper with little flowers around the edges. Some are hastily scribbled onto napkins or the back of some promotional flyers. They all have something in common though, they were never sent.

As she reads through them, (Y/N) can’t help but imagine the woman writing them all those years ago. A woman who seemed all but happy in her situation. A woman who so desperately wanted to give her heart to the little boy she had put into this world. Only her heart was never her’s to give away. It already belonged to the man in Florida.

She mentions Billy several times and it really does sound like she loves him. Only not enough. (Y/N) thinks that maybe life isn’t that easy. That it isn’t entirely black and white. That some women aren’t born mothers. That you can try and try and do your best but hat maybe some aren’t meant to be moms.

And yet she can’t help but feel a little resentment towards her. For breaking Billy’s heart.

(Y/N) gets shaken from her daydream as she hears Billy’s breath hitch. She looks at him, then follows his glance towards the house.

There’s a white Jeep Wagoneer pulling into the driveway. A man gets out, salt and pepper hair and smile on his face. He looks kind. Like he’s jumped right out of a 70’s tv family. Your poster-child for the perfect suburban dad.

He’s followed by a woman and at that point Billy’s breath speeds up a little. There’s no doubt in either of the teen’s minds that this is her. She has the same dark blonde hair as Billy. The same smile. Only she seems to show it far more often. She opens the backdoor of the car and a kid jumps out. A girl about Max’s age, maybe younger.

That’s the exact moment Billy’s heart sinks.

She looks just like a girl version of him when he was that age. It’s like looking into a damn mirror they’re so similar. Only they aren’t are they ? Because she’s happy and smiling and driving around a perfect suburban neighbourhood with her mom and dad and they’re smiling and they’re happy and the love each other. And she doesn’t have to ask herself every single fucking night why she wasn’t good enough for her mom to stay. And she doesn’t have to fear coming home to a dad who hates her guts. No she doesn’t.

Billy did. Billy does.

And for a moment he feels resentment cursing through him. Until he feels the soft touch of (Y/N)’s hand against his as she gently pulls his hand off the steering wheel and links her fingers with his.

It’s not the kids fault. Billy has to remind himself. And this woman ? She may have given birth to him but she wasn’t his mother. This was a different woman living a different life. A life that didn’t involve him. A life separate from him. From all the memories they made.

“ That’s not my mom “ he says so timidly, so softly, (Y/N) almost doesn't hear.

“ My mom made me blueberry pancakes on sunday mornings and sang along to Elvis on the radio. “ he continues and sighs deeply. “ My mom took me to Chuck E. Cheese’s every first friday of the month. She told my bedtime stories about dragons and heroes. She built a birdhouse with me for the blackbirds that always hung around in our garden. She took me to the beach whenever possible and helped me find the coolest seashells. This isn’t my mom. My mom loved me and she stopped being my mom when she didn’t. “

And then he turns to (Y/N) and there’s tears in his eyes and she so desperately wants to tell him she loves him but maybe this isn’t the right moment. He deserves better. He deserves an I love you that doesn’t come in a moment of sadness. He deserves an I love you that comes with a moment of magic.

“ My mom loved me. She did. I know this and that’s enough. “ Billy says and smiles. (Y/N)wonders if he says those words to her or if they’re meant for himself. In the end, it doesn’t matter.

“ Let’s go to the beach “ Billy suggests and squeezes (Y/N) hand.

“ Yeah, let’s “

- OOO -

(Y/N) stands by the shore, boots long forgotten by the car as her feet are buried in the warm wet sand. The crashing of waves sends a calm through her. There’s no one but them at this small patch of beach. The sand isn’t perfectly white and the water isn’t crystal clear but it’s perfect. She’s missed the warmth and the sun. It feels good to be here, even better now that Billy has voiced that he’d like for her to come with him to California.

Maybe this can be a weekly thing soon. Them hanging out by the beach, away from the cold and the misery and the heartbreak.

Billy takes a last drag from his cigarette before he pushes himself off the car and walks towards (Y/N).

She looks phenomenal against the backdrop of the ocean. It’s his two favorite things in one place. He thinks that maybe this trip meant so much more than they had initially planned. It made him realize what actually matters to him.

If (Y/N) thinks he’s good enough then there might just be some truth to it. Because she’s entirely too good for him and yet she chooses to drive halfway across the country with him over a Highschool Dance.

He softly touches her hand and pulls her towards the car. Brushing off as she rises her eyebrows in confusion.

“ I’m sorry I made you miss the dance so uh — I think I owe you one “ Billy says. (Y/N) is sure she can just make out a slight blush settling on his cheeks.

“ Billy wha— “

He lifts up a finger as a sign for her to wait, then leans into the car and presses play on the radio, turning the volume all the way up.

Chicago’s “You’re the inspiration” sounds through the air and (Y/N) can’t keep herself from laughing.

“ Didn’t take you for someone who listens to that kind of music “ she jokes and grants Billy a teasing smirk.

“ Ah you know “ Billy says and shrugs “ the girls like it “.

“ Oh really ? “

“ Mmh “ Billy replies then pulls (Y/N) closer settling his hands on her hips as she wraps hers around his neck in return.

“ You’re just a big softy on the inside, huh ? I knew it !”

Billy smiles for a moment then grows serious again. He clears his throat once, twice, then speaks up again. There’s the force of a storm hidden in his eyes. And warmth. And love.

“ Look I — I gotta tell you something. And please don’t interrupt me because if I don’t do this now I’ll get the jitters and never say it. “

The words leaving his lips send (Y/N) heart beating faster.

“ I’m in love with you, (Y/N). I love you. I have to tell you this because the whole thing with my mother’s letters just made me realize that I don’t want to live my life constantly regretting not telling you how much you mean to me. I don’t want to settle for someone I don’t want just because I was too chicken shit to admit my feelings to you. And I know you think that friends falling in love can never last and I know that your parents’ failed marriage has you cynical and I know that this might not be forever but it is now and I honestly can’t see me loving anyone else. I don’t want to regret a single moment not spent with you. And I sure as hell don’t want my future children to feel like my heart is someplace else. I love you, (Y/N). I think you’re by far the coolest person of all time and also your ass is almost as great as mine. I thought you should know. “

There’s no fireworks or butterflies. Nothing fundamentally changes as he speaks those words and yet it feels different. Better. Like there’s a weight lifted and they can finally breathe again.

“ You think I’m cool ? “ (Y/N) asks. There’s a smile on her face that makes Billy’s heart stop and beat faster all at once.

“ That’s what you took from my monologue right now ? That’s it ? “

“ Billy ? “

“ Hmm ? “

“ I love you too. Happy Valentine’s Day. “

It’s all she says but it’s enough. Because he’s enough. For her. And maybe even for himself.

If there ever was a moment to kiss her it’s now. He thinks this is what she deserves. A beach and a love song and a sunset. Magic in a moment.

It’s slow and the air around them practically sizzles with electricity as they move closer. Every sense is registering what’s happening. Billy closes his eyes and feels her soft skin under his hands. He can smell the salty ocean air in her hair.

It’s but a whisper of a touch at first. When her lips meet his and, fuck does it sound cheesy, but feels like so much more than any other kiss ever did. Because she’s his girl.

And she doesn’t taste of cotton candy and miracles but coca cola and twizzlers and he still loves kissing her.

She’s soft and warm and she feels like home. Like a home he never knew he needed but now realizes he wants so desperately. And it’s not California or Hawkins or any other god forsaken place. It’s a person and a feeling and a lifetime of ordinary moments sprinkled with those few magical ones.

“ I wanna be forever young with you, Billy Hargrove “ (Y/N) whispers against his lips. She wonders if that makes sense.

To Billy it makes perfect sense.

- OOO -

They’re almost back in Hawkins, when (Y/N) pretty much forces Billy to pull off at the gas station to stock up on more sodas. That and she really has to pee.

Music is softly playing through the radio as Billy’s eyes fall onto a piece of paper placed on the passenger seat. He noticed (Y/N) had been writing something down during the last hour or so of their ride but hasn’t really paid any thought to what it might be.

Now that the opportunity presents itself though, he can’t help but feel curious. And yes it might be a little bit of an invasion of privacy but it’s literally right there next to him and it’s not like she’s tried to hide it or anything.

So with one last look out the window, he opens the folded piece of paper and begins to read.

“ Dear Mrs. Stone or Hargrove or Stone-Hargrove,

my name is (Y/N) and I’m a 18 year old Highschool student at Hawkins High. You don’t know me and honestly that’s fine, this isn’t about me. This is about Billy. The son you left behind all those years ago. I’m not going to judge you or tell you that you were wrong in doing so (even though you were). I have never been in a position like yours. I am, however, gonna tell you about the boy you abandoned, because he’s phenomenal. 

To begin with, he’s absolutely beautiful. Breathtakingly handsome. That comes with an ego, sure. But it makes him charming. So very charming. He’s smart too, even though he won’t admit it. I know he regularly steals books from my bookshelf only to replace them days later once he devoured them. I know this but I don’t mention it because I know it’s something he wants to keep to himself. I fear there’s a part of him that thinks he needs to be the best at something or he isn’t allowed to take pride in it. I think it’s his dad’s fault (Neil is still an asshole by the way).

Billy has a plethora of faults and issues but for every bad personality trait there’s 10 more that I love about him. He’s so genuinely human, faults and all. He’s not trying to be someone else just for the sake of fitting in. I think you broke his heart when you left but he’s trying so hard to hold it together. For his sake and mine.

Billy has a great taste in music. He’s funny. Genuinely funny. And fiercely protective.

It takes a lot to make him open up but once he does, my god it’s worth it. There’s so much love in him it’s breathtaking. It’s all consuming.

I wish you had taken the time to get to know the person he is, then again maybe he wouldn’t be the Billy he is now if it weren’t for you breaking his heart. Maybe he wouldn’t be my Billy.

Bottom line is, Billy Hargrove is so many things, but he’s not defined by the mistakes of his parents and their inability to love him the way he deserves.

This is my love letter to the boy who owns my heart and the boy you chose to leave behind to find yours.

Regards,

(Y/N)”

And it’s then, that Billy realizes she’s right. That when spring comes around and he’s free to leave his father’s home, that he won’t be defined by another person’s choice anymore. That he gets to decide who he is. That he gets to be goofy and ridiculous and silly. That he gets to make mistakes without having to fear repercussions.

That he gets to love.

That he gets to be loved in return.

As he glances out the window again he catches sight of (Y/N) walking back towards the car and as their eyes meet, she smiles that smile that makes his entire world seem just a little brighter.

And looking at her now, he can’t wait for their future to begin.

February fucking sucks. That’s the underlying truth of it all. It’s grey and dark and cold and miserable. But february too will pass and make room for march then april. For spring and warmth and a future that’s uncertain in so many ways. But a future he knows for sure, will be filled with love.

[lizzylucky]

3Below Part 2 - About The Parents

SPOILERS!!!

I wanted to bring something up with the King and Queen, Fialkov and Coranda. (Spelled right?)

First and foremost (and I am saying this through the perspectives of our main characters), they are parents. Mama and Papa. Krel and Aja, though they are obviously very mature and very intelligent, are still technically children. At least by our standards. And, if you ask me, they still exhibit many of the emotions and needs of kids. They rely on their parents for guidance and encouragement in everything. That they are being forced to prematurely face a life without that is heart breaking.

And with this in mind, it's easy to see their parents as being good, and virtually immortal beings. That's how we all used to see our parents, right? We could not comprehend death, and we could not comprehend a life in which our parents did not exist because we'd never existed that way ourselves. Parents don't go away, and there's no such thing as living a life where they aren't there for you. Though Aja and Krel know better than this, I suspect that they still had those kind of emotions in them, that it still would have been nearly impossible to accurately imagine a life without their parents' constant presence.

Throughout all of part one, this is how I see it. Coranda and Fialkov are ultimately good, pure, everlasting, and righteous. What becomes interesting is that the writers threw in unresolved moral debate relating to the King and Queen almost from the moment that part 2 began.

Probably the biggest example of this is when we encounter Tronos, that electricity dude, if you'll remember. If I interpreted correctly, his planet, Voltar, was all but destroyed. His kind begged for the assistance of the throne of Akiridian-5, which was fully equipped and well prepared for combat, and received none. This led to the destruction and loss that caused so much personal turmoil between the royals and this one villain.

What's more on this is that Aja specifically looks into it and can see no logical reason, or any reason at all, for this. It looked that the King and Queen had simply chosen not to intervene when they could have saved so many lives.

Another example, though I forgot how most the conversation went, is when Varvatos and Morando are fighting each other head on. Morando is, of course, incredibly clever and tricky with his words, but after verifying that he had hired the Zerons to destroy Varvatos's family in order to later use him, he implied that the royal family had chosen to do nothing about it, doing nothing more than to make a public appearance.

It is really incredibly easy to chose to believe that Morando was simply twisting words to hurt Varvatos, and that whatever happened on Voltar and with Tronos was a large misconception and the King and Queen had good reasoning.

On top of that, you have to take into consideration that when it comes to this stuff, there will always be people using their words to twist the actions of higher authorities, and that politics just kind of work this way. As Royalty, Fialkov and Coranda would have to pick and choose their battles. In the words of a certain fictional character, "sometimes the only choices you have are bad ones; but you still have to chose." There were going to be benefits and losses to every decision made within the throne, but we would have to trust that these decisions were, ultimately, wise decisions, regardless of negatives and rumours.

I'm honestly not sure where exactly I'm going with all of this, but in watching the second part to 3Below, they made it clear that there were some things the King and Queen did, or did not, do that some people didn't agree with or otherwise just downright hated. The ways that Morando spoke and the silver tongue he had developed in turn make you briefly, if only subconsciously, wonder about the moral goodness of the King and Queen, creating mental and emotional turmoil throughout the whole thing.

The one thing that makes this most interesting to me is that they leave it unresolved in that way. That's what makes this show so genius. They do not expand on the mess with Voltar. They do not tell us how exactly they became involved with the Zerons' attack on Varvatos's family. They leave us with our perception of kind, wise, and intelligent rulers and parents who were associated with some other very bad things. Even Krel and Aja don't have a perfect resolution for this, and as the now King and Queen, they are about to face the same kinds of challenges and moral dilemmas that they were never able to understand about their parents.

I dunno, I guess I'm just heartbroken about it. We are left with doubts and a lack of complete resolution, and have very little closure since Krel and Aja did not get to give their proper goodbyes and had almost no time to greive before picking up the throne. Aja will never lean into her mother's palm again. Krel will never be able to hug his papa- Aja will never be reprimanded by her parents for sneaking out, and she will not have the capacity or small freedom to try. Krel will never be chided for spending too much time with his electronics. Aja did not get to be crowned by her parents. Krel didn't get to finish his ceremonial duel. They will never be able to tell each other in person "I love you". And all of this political huba on top of the loving parents going gone gut punches every fan of this show.

[keire-ke]

Spoiler alert - Falcon and the winter soldier show is about Sam and Bucky being asked by their alternative timeline counterparts to help them stop lovelaughlive!Steve form manipulating their timeline to fit his whimsy (alternative!Steve died long ago due in mysterious accident). Jokes aside I hate this ending bc it feels like Steve is playing house at the expense of everything he knew about Peggy's life and also other Steve. Plus saving a Bucky earlier does nothing for our Bucky and makes (1/2)

(2/2) it more about him wanting to feel like he saved Bucky and not actually helping him. Him inserting himself into somebody else’s life feels more like a villian’s origin story than a closure for a beloved hero. Like my dudes, you did not think that through (and THAT’S canon, they fucking admitted it in the interview). Also also, he could have meaningful goodbyes with his friends! Steve truly did not gave a shit

Okay, honest to god truth, I would forgive Egg for everything if it turned out to be Steve’s villain origin story. Everything.

If the show is what you described, I would expire from happiness.

That said: well put, anon. The ending is entirely make believe and the ultimate escapism for Steve, and everything else aside that is… a shitty end for Steve Rogers? Yay I lived a lifetime in a reality in which I have all the advantages by knowing the future, and I fixed all the events that hurt me personally (everywhere except in my head) and am now presumably surrounded by people who have the faces of people I once knew. (admittedly, the advantage of knowing the future would diminish in time, as events change, but broad strokes would remain)

And even if that was to be Steve’s happy ending, even if we are to feel nothing but warm heart feelings about it (which, hahaha, funny story how cinematography works), fucking off forever without a proper goodbye is just such a shitty thing to do. Like I know “Bucky probably knew” - which, fuck me, why don’t you, but Sam didn’t, Bruce didn’t, whoever was not in the frame likely got treated to a lovely “…oh, I remember, you were… Wakanda! No, Wanda. Definitely Wanda. We have definitely met.” reintroduction.

For the record: don’t @ me with “but he came back in the end so it’s okay”, there is no way he could have guaranteed he would survive this long, or that he’d be able to come back, because traveling between the same timepoint between parallel dimension was not yet possible as far as he knew, he does not get cookies for things working out in his favor.

And the final nail in the coffin: this is Steve’s goodbye. We will not be getting a Captain America 3 movie, in which this clusterfuck might be unraveled. This is it. Steve Rogers, who spent his whole life trying to do the right thing, went out playacting the life he felt he deserved.

[carrie-organa]

Thoughts on the TLJ spoilers

So I read the spoilers, one from reddit today and another from a tumblr post about a month ago, and I have some thoughts. Discussion of possible spoilers under the tag. 

We’ll start with the more recent reddit plot “spoilers” because I…wow. 

“rey = palpatine” this is actually said on both speculations but if Rey isn’t a skywalker/solo then I’m more inclined to believe that she is Rey Nobody. The tumblr post did offer more evidence, in that it described a real scene in which Rey’s dad is a stormtrooper. Unclear how they get to her being a palpatine, it’s the more out there theory between the three popular ones and I just…I don’t get the gut feeling about it that I do the others. I’m disinclined to believe it. 

“kylo and rey are the most powerful force users ever” I don’t know how they’d even establish this and it just seems too on the nose. They’re powerful for sure, and obviously they’re going to work together, but the whole yin and yang thing only works so long as it doesn’t turn the two characters into the Wonder Twins. Disinclined to believe it. This isn’t mentioned in the older tumblr post. 

“Luke no longer sees himself as a jedi” even though Rian Johnson has said that the title refers to Luke. They could be lying I guess but come on. Luke may be out of the game but he’s still a jedi. That’s the whole point. 

“Kylo Ren still sees himself as a Jedi” dude, once again, kylo may be conflicted but I find it very hard to believe that snoke would let him think he’s still a jedi. The whole undercover theory was debunked a while ago. Let’s move on. 

Speculation regarding Snoke’s motivations. More inclined to believe just because we haven’t heard anything about it. Plus, it seems like the kind of tragic thing that RJ would do. Might be true, might not. 

“Star Forge is now canon” one of those common sense leaps, perhaps? 

“Kylo finds Rey and Luke by reaching out to Rey in the Force” this is definitely something that’s going to happen but again - Adam filmed in Ireland and since the First Order doesn’t have the map, he has to get there somehow. 

“Poe goes extremist, but sees the error of his ways” the selling point of TLJ is that “the lines are blurred” Poe is so committed to the cause that the only way to blur those lines for him is to make him go too far. Not exactly a leap but it definitely will happen

Points about the Resistance at Crait are, again, pretty common sense. 

“Luke wield’s Vader’s lightsaber, but isn’t evil” I guess this is possible, because Luke needs a saber and it doesn’t seem like Rey builds her own, but also it just doesn’t ring true for me. There is so much dark energy surrounding that saber that I don’t know if Luke would glorifiy Vader by using it. But I suppose RJ could do it. So maybe. 

“Kylo’s saber is purple” well since purple sabers are generally used by jedi with closer ties to the dark side, could be true, but anyone with a working knowledge of jedi lore and sabers could make up this plausible headcanon. 

How Kylo destroyed the temple showed up in both posts. The accident, and Luke sending him away in his grief, just seems accurate. Especially given the Bloodline plot with Leia’s secret. I think it’s true. It makes Kylo more relatable and tragic, enough to make GA find him redeemable. I like it, I hope it’s true. 

Rey killing her parents accidentally also is cringey but I guess could be a thing. I’m disinclined to believe it though. 

Both posts mention Leia dying, which seems to have been debunked by basically every cast interview. KK herself, and Mark more recently, said that 9 was going to be Carrie’s movie. They’ve had to rework a lot of the script, they wouldn’t be making as much of a deal about giving her proper closure in 9 if she died in 8. I think Leia lives. 

The Finn speculations are entertaining but I’m not sure I see him becoming the leader of the resistance, especially because of Laura Dern’s character. Finn winning the fight with Phasma but sparing her seems likely, just because of who Finn is. Also Gwen is awesome so they should keep her. 

Rose being Force Sensitive AND a skywalker is too much. If someone is Luke’s kid it’s Rey, as much as I’d rather her not be. 

“BB8 is the one who makes Poe see the error of his ways” uhhh, BB8 does it? Not like, Finn or Leia or basically anyone else. I love BB8 too but imagine that disaster of an emotional scene with BB8 beeping and Oscar Isaac crying like “yeah buddy i don’t know who i am anymore either” 

The running joke about Chewbacca naming his porg makes me smile, so I hope it’s a thing. 

“Ben turns on Snoke when Snoke asks him to kill Rey” I believe it, especially given Daisy and Adam training together and the increasing likelihood of the throne room fight. They need a motivation, Kylo needs to be redeemed and the way he does that is by saving Rey. Once again - kinda common sense if you’ve been paying attention. 

There’s some stuff about the ancient Jedi believing in some kind of rule of twos thing but…idk doesn’t seem legit and it’s too on the nose. 

“When Ben and Rey kiss, it literally creates life” BRO. Bro. They’re not going to kiss. Anybody’s feelings about reylo not withstanding, in the previous movie he did forcibly interrogate her. How much character growth can someone do in 2 hr and 45 minutes to make that make sense? It doesn’t, and I hope it doesn’t happen, even as a fan of Kylo and someone who doesn’t mind reylo. 

Hux becoming the leader of the First Order after assassinating Snoke. I don’t buy that they spend all of TFA hyping this dude only to turn around and kill him in the second movie. Hux gets a bigger role, definitely, especially when Kylo defects, but I don’t think he assassinates Snoke. Yet. 

“Luke stays out of the fight. But he doesn’t hesitate to defend himself.” I…yes bro (sorry for assuming your gender, reddit user, but come on) Luke doesn’t want to be in the fight. I’m seeing him as a cooler Yoda. Will fuck you up but is grumpy about it. 

So in conclusion, this reddit speculation is as a whole, full of shit, mostly because of the reylo kiss, leia dying, and the whole spiel about jedi/ force soulmates. 

Thanks for coming to my ted talk and if you want to read a TLJ speculation that actually seems legit go visit this tumblr post

[profound-boning]

Author Interview

tagged by @casskellington ! This got long so there’s a read more cut. I’d like to hear from: @jhoomwrites @formidablepassion and @ozonecologne

1. What inspires your work most? (The show it is based on, the actor who portrays a certain character, maybe the character itself…? It could even be an experience.)
 Uh, pretty much myself and my experiences? Or, in the rare event I'm writing something in canonverse, I'm trying to say something about the situation the characters are in, make a nod at something I like, or point out the horrible flaws in something I dislike. (Looking at you, bucklemming!) But yeah in general I'm writing about myself; any time Dean or Cas is a teacher, that's me. High school and college stuff? I'm probably referencing something I did or heard about someone else doing. Those three things especially I always get so WTF over when I read something written by someone without those experiences. (That and writing dean or cas as a child and like really really fucking it up. Middle class five year olds speak in generally complete sentences. Speech and motor skills development is very well established!) I don't mean to say NO ONE WHO DIDN'T GO TO COLLEGE SHOULD EVER WRITE A COLLEGE!AU because that's just elitist bullshit, but I would suggest to anyone, even United States-eans to DO RESEARCH on your setting. If you don't have direct personal experience, find someone on tumblr or another blogging site who does. Bring them on as a beta or just kind of interview them about what's what. There's a reason that if I'm writing Dean The Mechanic I will stay FAR AWAY from anything that sounds like direct knowledge of that job… it's because I do not in any way shape or form understand vehicles. So why would I try to write in Dean's voice about his work?? It would fall flat for any reader with a comprehension of cars. Related to that, something else I do intentionally avoid is writing about someone with an identity that is not my own. That being said I do write a fair bit about two dudes, and I am not male, but I am cis and I do write Dean and Cas as cis. One time I wrote Cas as questioning and Dean as trans and in those cases I stayed firmly in another POV—aka not putting words into the mouths of those characters/identities—and got help to make sure I was staying in my lane.



2. What is your favorite fandom to write for?
 This in particular got super fucking long I apologize.

I have created fanworks in precisely three fandoms. My very first fic was for How To Train Your Dragon, I have a plethora of Supernatural works, and I did a podfic for Star Trek: the Alternate Original Series (Films). For HTTYD and SPN I wanted to write a story that gave a conclusion to two relationships I feel are not being given proper closure in canon. Until I got into actual fandom I didn't know what "shipping" was but now that I do, I totally ship Hiccup and Astrid. That was some of the first fanfiction I ever read, over on fanfiction.net. I did read some other stuff in the Frozen fandom because I wanted more of the Anna and Kristoff relationship. Both of these pairings are canon in that they have a kiss and they're TOGETHER when the credits roll, but I wanted… more. I couldn't really put my finger on it, I just… needed to know where they went from there. How did their relationship change? Turns out fanfiction was the answer—people wrote the happily ever afters that I was envisioning and, I'll be completely honest, THEY WROTE ABOUT SEX. I had never seen such a thing outside of porn/erotica. It was this strange like "oh, good, other people think about this, too." (Both the happy endings and the sex.) And then in 2013 my sister got me to start watching Supernatural, and the unresolved anger re: John Winchester and the mounting sexual tension between Dean and Cas brought me to the same place. What the hell would happen if Dean and Sam actually accepted their abuse? (A topic of personal catharsis, for me.) And when Dean and Cas finally fuck?? Oh, yeah. Gimme it. So right now I'm exclusively into Supernatural (Star Trek was a commission and I LOVE IT but I don't seek it out) because we're at season thirteen and I need these two to get over themselves and bone.



3. Which perspective do you prefer writing in? (First-person, third-person) Always third person! I can't read first person, so I wouldn't try writing it that way.

4. Do you prefer writing reader fics or OCs?
 I... assume this was supposed to say "reader insert" and the answer to that is a SOLID NO. Therefore, most OC fics are too because those are just proxy reader inserts. The only exception would be for Original Winchester Child(ren). (Note that if you love these please don't be mad that I've said this, I just genuinely dislike reading them, as you may dislike any number of fics, too. That's life.)



5. Do you prefer writing longer works or one shots?
 Well... everything I've ever written is a one-shot, in that there's nothing that literally needs to be continued. I can't really handle reading WIPs and I don't write them either. I do have longer works (9k, 24k, and close to 40k) but again, they're all "one-shots" as I define them. A couple of multi-chapter works, yes, but still wholly completed works. 


6. Do you take requests? 
I would like to! I've done one work specifically as a request, another is coming soon, and another was like heavily inspired by someone's comments/thoughts/headcanon! But I've never really had anyone drop in and be like "look here's a plot bunny" and then I've gone "hell yeah ..." and written about it.



7. Do you enjoy getting random Asks? 
Haha I would love that but I don't get asks! Or very rarely. They're usually just the chain lovey dovey asks which are AMAZING and it's so nice to hear from my friends. :) But yeah nobody just, like, messages me out of the blue. Some ask games get one or two responses, not too often though. I'm not a very big blog though so that's to be expected!



8. What inspires the names for OCs (or extra character names) in your works? Do you pick them from real life or just select them at random? A mix? 
The only actual OC I've ever done was a side comment in a destiel fic about Jess and Sam having a little boy named Bobby. It was like three sentences total so not a whole lot of development, and the name choice would be obvious to anyone in the SPN fandom. I did also do a Single Father Dean to Baby Emma once but again that (more or less, haha) happened in canon.



9. If your story(ies) have OCs, are their appearances based on real people or celebrities? If so, who? 
Again, no OCs or not enough of an important character to merit description.



10. How long have you been writing?
 Since summer 2015!

[screensandmelodies-blog]

3 Televsion Shows That Fell Off

By Jared Leal, Anastasia Rafalska and Steven Le

SHERLOCK

By Anastasia Rafalska

“Help me please, I’m on a plane and everyone’s asleep.”

I really like how BBC has interpreted and turned into a movie novels of Arthur Conan Doyle, but honestly, the last episode is just a piece of crap. Some people think it’s a great finish, as Sherlock is revealed as a human, not a detective, but let me explain you something: Sherlock Holmes is the most genius detective in London. He is a legend, he is a person who with just one glance at a piece of paper can recreate an apartment where it was and in seconds determine if there is a weapon in the bag just by analyzing it’s weight, he can predict behaviour of the people couple weeks before.

And now, his character with exceptional intellectual ability is playing in the “real-life quest” done by his sister Eurus, where he was blackmailing by the phone calls from a little girl alone on a passenger plane, where everyone is unconscious apart from her.  I’ m not even taking into account the fact that he could refuse playing this game, as it must be clear to him that something doesn’t add up –the girl doesn’t know where she’s coming from or going, she seems relatively relaxed about the huge passages of time passing between their conversations. Surely he’d be able to deduce that she wasn’t really on a plane, yet he never appears to doubt the veracity of her call, consequently under the pressure Sherlock is almost ready to kill his brother and other people. 

The next important thing: from the second episode we were convinced that Eurus is the most dangerous prisoners in the world and according to Mycroft, she is “an era-defining genius beyond Newton”. She uses a lot of smart words, but if you just take a look on what she is doing during the whole episode, you’ll understand that there is nothing genius or original, there is no sense in her actions.

We love Sherlock Holmes for his deduction, extraordinary cases, unusual things that have a logical explanation, but unfortunately none of it was used in the last episode. 

THE 100

By Steven Le

There were many things in the story of the 100 that captivated us. The 100 is a story based on the post apocalypse of Earth after having radiation spread all over the world killing off mankind like a plague. Mankind had to create an Ark spaceship to send themselves into space to live until the Earth was freed of radiation and become inhabitable again. After 10 long years of living in space, the crew members had made a decision of sending 100 delinquents and misfits down to Earth to ‘test’ if it was safe to inhabit again. Throughout season 1, this plot had captivated many people as we would be following along with Clarke, the leader of the delinquents and see how they would prevail in the trials that await them. From the grounders who were used to the radiation to the surviving humans left in the mountains 10 years ago, seasons 1 to 2 had kept viewers entertained for months.

However, after season 2 was the start of where The 100’s storyline worsened. Throughout season 3 we find out that one of their own went out to look for salvation on Earth, only to become inhabited by an artificial intelligence bot named “Alie”. From this point, the story seemed way more farfetched than it was from the start. Having a mind controlling artificial intelligence infect people’s minds by simply eating a microchip that would attach itself at the back of your neck was just plain unreal and stupid. The affects that this microchip would do to someone was allow them hallucinate throughout their subconscious imagining a city called ‘The City of Light’, where no conflict would happen, and no hate would consume the hearts of man.

However, this was not all to the fall of The 100. After season 3’s crazy plotline, comes the current season, season 4. The plot was briefly touched upon at the end of season 3 where Clarke and the remaining people of the Ark found out that the Earth was doomed to radiation once again. When the problem was explained to their allies, the grounders and the rest of the Arkadian’s, no one had a surprised expression. The Arkadians seemed as though they felt no real imminent danger of possibly getting wiped out by the Earth’s radiation AGAIN! All in all my disappointment with the show currently is that they are lacking in certain details within the story that should be more carefully explained to allow viewers to fully understand the situation at hand. The show should also reveal more emotion as to how distressed our protagonists are feeling towards the current situation in season 4.

THE OFFICE

By Jared Leal

Note: May be difficult to understand without prior knowledge.

Note: I get heated in this one, bear with me and don’t take it too seriously, enjoy…

“Today, smoking is going to save lives.”

The quote by Dwight Schrute (Rainn Wilson) before one of the most outrageous pre-shows I have ever seen, sticks to this day. NBC’s adaptation of BBC’s “The Office” is one of the few shows that I consider a part of me. This comes from its more documentary type of presentation. The setting an ordinary workplace of supposedly ordinary people. The format would include monologues in the form of interviews of each character in between plot points. I’m no nerd, I don’t know if this format has been used before The Office and Parks and Recreation, but it definitely softens that veil of disbelief everyone has when consuming fiction. In other words, it feels real. Mix this with a dry sense of awkward, character-driven humour from its primary comedic engines in Michael Scott (Steve Carrell) and Dwight Schrute, and all I see is my favourite comedy television show of all time.

They glory is there from the very beginning, introducing main characters Michael with his unrelenting but genuine incompetence, Dwight and his arrogant but naïve superiority complex (as far as we think...), and the sustaining unresolved romantic tension of Jim Halpert (Jon Krasinski) and Pam Beasley (Jenna Fischer). This glory is sustained through 7 seasons of wonderful ups and downs that all the characters shared and fought through. Then Michael Scott leaves.

I actually watched the 8th season, the first full season without Steve Carrell as the primary character. Ed Helms’ Andy Bernard takes over Michael’s managing job and the show’s attempts to restore former glory without shamefully replicating it, commence. This season wasn’t good but it definitely wasn’t horrid, but without the driving force of the show, it was evidently missing something. I am actually part of the group of viewers that actually enjoyed Andy and Erin Hannon’s (Ellie Kemper) romance; the previous season setup several subtle but sweet moments which were resolved this season, much to my satisfaction (we’ll get back to this).

Which leads us to the 9th and final season, which I could not bear to complete. I can’t really say how bad it is or even if it is actually bad, but I can say how my optimism was gutted. Introducing a plethora of new characters I don’t care about, this late into the show, is the first mistake. Evidently, I don’t remember their names and don’t have the dignity to search them up, but they were two young office dudes I think. The asshole-ification of Andy was the second mistake: making him act like an ass to his employees and making him neglect Erin (who he worked so hard for) is just not something I saw him doing when he was first introduced in the 3rd season. This of course led to end of their relationship, which I thought couldn’t get much worse until she rebounded onto one of the two new nobodies I mentioned before (for the record, I’m sure they’re nice guys). This is of course is where the thrill was gone completely; actually I stopped before this happened (thanks to Wikia for softening this blow).

So yeah, I guess my disappointment with the show and the fact that I could not receive proper closure to one of my favourite shows of all time got me heated in this post. But the beauty of fiction is that I can choose to stop my suspension of disbelief whenever I want. And I can still enjoy the first seven seasons as I did before because it makes me happy. And I’m crying now, goodbye.

I aint don’t worry.

[junker-town]

Shohei Ohtani is back, and baseball is good unless you’re the Orioles

It was a good week for baseball, unless you happen to be on the Orioles or a fan of the Orioles.

We’ve passed the mathematical halfway point of the 2018 MLB season. We’re approaching the figurative halfway point of the 2018 MLB season. And I’m not sure if any of us really know what’s going on.

[production assistant hands me an index card with nothing but MAX MUNCY in 30-point font]

Look, I don’t have time for this, please send your note through the appropriate channels. It’s hard enough to check the standings every day, much less all of the individual performances.

Watching videos until my eyes bleed? Oh, sure, I can do that. And it’s this sort of curation that keeps us coming back every week to review the previous seven days and 100 games of baseball. Because if we don’t do that, we’ll never get the chance to remember that ...

Baseball is good, actually

Click here for the video if you’ve discovered this on Google AMP or Apple News or Lycos Lynx. It’s worth it.

For on the first pitch of a game between the Orioles and Twins, Jake Cave made a stellar catch.

Your browser does not support HTML5 video.

It is our solemn right to pretend that the first pitch of a ballgame is more important than it actually is. Listen to the crowd cheer extra loud for that first called strike, as if to say, “Yes, good, everything seems to be in order.” And when that first pitch is hit over the fence, the pitcher on the mound has to hear the sound of tens of thousands of people rolling their eyes at the same time. We paid $150 for this.

Don’t forget to appreciate the actual catch, though. If you grew up playing baseball or softball, I’m sure at one point, you positioned yourself under a short fence and had a friend throw a ball just over it. Usually your idiot friend would throw it too high or low or off to the side, and you could never get it just right. Then after several unremarkable failures, you would have to go over the fence and retrieve all the baseballs, feeling stupid the whole time. I never did make one of those catches, even when I was trying to.

I think I might go to a park and have my daughter throw some balls just over the fence. I need closure.

Cave was ready on the first pitch to live our dreams for us. He was ready. He was capable. And the ball just happened to be in the perfect spot

Baseball is a hideous gully monster, actually

The decision to watch an Orioles game on purpose right now has to come with a long, extended sigh that resonates from deep within your toes. Within five seconds, you’re reminded that the taste of ash and feathers in your mouth is coming from the ash and feathers in your mouth. The Orioles shoveled it in there when you were sleeping.

The Orioles are in the middle of a six-game losing streak. It’s their fifth-longest losing streak of the season.

The Red Sox haven’t had a losing streak of six games or longer since 2015.

The Orioles are on pace to lose 11 more games than the 1988 team that lost 21 straight games to open the season. If they have to lose an obscene number of games, fine, pluck their nose hairs out on live TV. But don’t rob them of a homer on the first pitch.

That’s just being a jerk, baseball.

Let us study this baseball thing

Jeff Mathis pitched for the Diamondbacks on Sunday and got the loss.

On its own, this probably isn’t worthy of study. Position players pitch a lot more now, which suggests they’re likelier to come into close games. What we need to figure out is how hosed a team has to be in order to rely on a position player in extra innings.

Pretty hosed.

Stop that. All I’m saying is that we need to know what inning managers usually give up. We’ll look at the last 10 occurrences because it’s the golden era of mid-inning pitching changes, which increases the chances of a manager running out of pitchers. We’ll also limit our search to that many because I’m lazy.

Jeff Mathis Inning: 16th Score: 3-3 Result: Loss (1 ER) Pitchers used prior to entrance: 9 Did a starter enter in relief? Yes

Of note is that Wil Myers described Mathis as having the best stuff of any position player he’s ever faced.

Also of note: He’s only faced one other position player in the majors, which means his quote was basically a honking, rude subtweet of Dean Anna.

Ryan Goins Inning: 18th Score: 1-1 Result: No decision (0 ER) Pitchers used prior to entrance: 8 Did a starter enter in relief? No

Darwin Barney Inning: 19th Score: 1-1 Result: Loss (1 ER) Pitchers used prior to entrance: 9, if you count Ryan Goins Did a starter enter in relief? No

John Baker Inning: 16th Score: 3-3 Result: Win (0 ER) Pitchers used prior to entrance: 8 Did a starter enter in relief? No

Also of note: Baker scored the winning run because he’s a proper legend.

Leury Garcia Inning: 14th Score: 4-4 Result: Loss (2 ER) Pitchers used prior to entrance: 8 Did a starter enter in relief? No

Casper Wells Inning: 18th Score: 7-7 Result: Loss (5 ER) Pitchers used prior to entrance: 9 Did a starter enter in relief? Yes

Also of note: He was relieved by utility infielder John McDonald, who allowed one of the inherited runners to score.

Darnell McDonald Inning: 17th Score: 6-6 Result: Loss (3 ER) Pitchers used prior to entrance: 8 Did a starter enter in relief? No

Also of note: McDonald was facing off against Chris Davis, also a position player. Wouldn’t you love to read more about this game? Well, lucky you.

Chris Davis Inning: 16th Score: 6-6 Result: Win (2 IP, 0 ER) Pitchers used prior to entrance: 8 Did a starter enter in relief? No

Also of note: Davis’ changeup was so good, it made this dude squeeze his own armpit:

Felipe Lopez Inning: 18th Score: 0-0 Result: No decision (0 ER) Pitchers used prior to entrance: 8 Did a starter enter in relief? No

Also of note: Skipper should have let him pitch another inning.

Joe Mather Inning: 19th Score: 0-0 Result: Loss (2 IP, 2 ER) Pitchers used prior to entrance: 9, including Felipe Lopez Did a starter enter in relief? No

Also of note: I can’t think of his name without thinking about this post.

“In life, you have to make your own trails!” he shouted as he bounded off into the clearing, the thirsty joemather crunching under his bare feet.

No, it’s not funny. I literally think of “the thirsty joemather crunching under his bare feet” whenever I stumble across Joe Mather’s name.

If one day I stop writing about baseball, don’t wonder why. Just know that I was someone who would accidentally stumble across Joe Mather’s name.

Anyway, what did we learn? That I wanted to link to a bunch of box scores of these extremely cool games. But also that Mathis came in slightly before the typical position player in a close game, but not egregiously so. That most managers will use a position player before they use a starting pitcher on an off day. And that most of these guys didn’t do well, probably because they aren’t pitchers.

I would suggest that the trick is to have one reliever who can pitch five innings in any given game, except the Diamondbacks had that with Jorge De La Rosa, and they used him for seven pitchers. The real trick is to see through time, and if that doesn’t work, sigh a lot and hope for a better fate than poor Jeff Mathis, who was one strike away from an amazing outing.

This week in appreciating the efforts of a husky fellow who tried really, really hard

Jesús Aguilar is a husky fellow having a breakout season, and he can do a lot of things for a winning team. He can hit dingers, hit homers, hit baseballs over the fence, and also hit baseballs super far. Yes, he can also hit for average, apparently, and he can play both first and a corner outfield spot, but for the most part, he’s not in there for his hit-and-run skills. He’s there to hit baseballs a long way.

He’s not there to run from first to home on a wacky play.

What I appreciate the most on this play:

Eddie Rosario’s throw

Bobby Wilson’s there-there pat

Aguilar turning his head and lying down to take a literal dirt nap as the catcher pats his hand in sympathy

That Aguilar peeks over his shoulder as he rounds third and realizes he’s going to hear it from everyone in the dugout

The tag

That Bobby Wilson is still in the majors and making tags and there-there pats.

This all leads to a new segment that I wasn’t even planning on.

Baseball, but a painting

I call this one “The Death of Jesús of Maracay.”

The catcher reaches out in vain to save his friend, but alas, it is too late. The human-sized streak through the batter’s box represents our mortality. The weird mud bog above home plate that you can see in the video represents a kind of weird mud bog. The guy on the right is the president, watching over us all.

I’m still working on this interpretation, leave me alone.

Bartolo Colon threw a complete game

He lost, but that’s not the point. The 45-year-old is the oldest player to throw a complete game since Jamie Moyer in 2010, and he’s pitching like someone who wants to keep pitching next year. If he does that, he’ll have milestones to chase:

46-year-olds who have thrown a complete game Satchel Paige Phil Niekro Charlie Hough Bobo Newsom Jack Quinn

47-year-olds who have thrown a complete game Phil Niekro Jamie Moyer

48-year-olds who have thrown a complete game Phil Niekro

Of course, Niekro was a knuckleballer, as was Hough. Moyer was a changeup specialist, and Paige was a master of illusion in his old age. When it comes to quadragenarians who rely mostly on differently gripped fastballs, Colon is definitely something of a freak.

I don’t know if he’ll make it to 48 without a knuckleball. But a showing like this at least gives me a teensy sliver of hope that he’ll have a chance. He’s not exactly the perfect baseball hero — let he who is without a PED suspension and a second family throw the first stone — but he’s a pretty danged fun baseball story. And with each complete game, I start hoping just a little bit more.

Baseball picture of the week

The best picture of the week? That was probably taken by Rockies team photographer Matt Dirksen:

This picture is not filtered or Photoshopped. Promise. pic.twitter.com/FOf6aq24vA

— Colorado Rockies (@Rockies) July 6, 2018

I can appreciate the majesty of Charlie Blackmon leaving the cornfield to not invite Ty Cobb to the next game. There are a lot of entrants in the “badass ballpark scenery” genre, which is why baseball is truly for the aesthetically minded, but the sky in this one gives it an extra boost.

Can you get the same kind of majesty from a football game? Yeah. Kinda.

Photo by Justin Edmonds/Getty Images

For my money, the difference is in the stadium or ballpark lurking in the background. If a football goes there, it probably means someone screwed up. But the stands of a baseball game are inactive participants stored with charged energy. If the baseball goes there — and it often does — it makes the entire section buzz. If it’s hit in the right section, it makes the entire ballpark buzz.

Maybe I’m overthinking it? I’m probably overthinking it.

Well, in that case, here are my runners up, in which Billy Hamilton loses six months off his life in the same week:

Photo by David Banks/Getty Images

Photo by Andy Lyons/Getty Images

I don’t know the context of these pictures, and I don’t care to. All I know is that they make baseball seem like some sort of post-apocalyptic sport from a 1974 Roger Corman film called Smash, Smash, Smash, and I’m very interested in this new iteration.

Maybe you should just watch football.

Stop that.

what the shit

https://www.mlb.com/news/twins-record-no-putouts-at-first-base-in-game/c-284106326

When Blanka tries to hit you with a rolling attack, so you slide under him and counter with a hadouken

Photo by Tom Szczerbowski/Getty Images

What Shohei Did

Rose from the disabled and renewed the hope of his wavering team. That’s all. Or, if you want to be technical, he went 3-for-17, with eight strikeouts and a 634 OPS. Which isn’t great.

He still snuck in a game-winning homer, though:

He took a tie game from zero-to-Vasgersian in just over a second, and he’s now 3-for-6 in his pinch-hitting appearances. The biggest surprise this season isn’t that Ohtani has been pitching or hitting as well as he has, but that he’s been used as a pinch-hitter just six times. Just like when it comes to rising gas prices and climate change, I blame the designated hitter. In the National League, he’d get four pinch-hit appearances per week.

But we’re not here to get picky. We’re here to celebrate that Ohtani is playing at all. In the Angels’ walk-off win against the Dodgers, he went from an 0-2 count to a walk, then stole second before scoring on a two-out single. It would be much, much better if he were still Max Scherzer stapled to Cody Bellinger, because that sure was a delight to follow.

Given the choice of watching him only hit or not watching him at all, we’re in the better of the two timelines. I’m not sure if I’ve rooted for anything this season more than the platelet-rich plasma that’s sloshing around his elbow, but even if he’s done pitching for a year, he’ll still be around, reminding us that he’s one of baseball’s rarest talents.

This week in McGwire/Sosa

McGwire 13 AB this week 281 AB for the season

3 HR this week 40 HR for the season

.308/.471/.533 this week .310/.483/.779 for the season

Sosa 16 AB this week 349 AB for the season

2 HR this week 35 HR for the season

.250/.333/.625 this week .321/.382/.665 for the season

All-Star break! Time to rest a bit and JUST KIDDING, IT WAS AT COORS FIELD, AND WE WERE ALL HIGH OFF DINGERS.

Note that there is no apostrophe in that last word, which would have left you in suspense.

If you don’t think baseball was excited to showcase dingers at Coors, you are being a silly contrarian:

And, of course, Sosa didn’t participate and McGwire didn’t make it out of the first round because that’s what happens when you even pretend to care about the Home Run Derby. It will break your heart.

Spoonerism of the week

Okay, so Wookie Milson is maybe — maybe— a 45-grade spoonerism. Yes, it makes you think about Chewbacca, but it’s not really spelled the same way (Wookiee), and “Milson” isn’t inherently funny.

What puts it over the top for me is that you have to pronounce Wookie to rhyme with “Mookie,” which means you have to pronounce it like George Plimpton. And now I’m picturing a movie in which George Plimpton has to take care of an irascible eight-year-old because of circumstances beyond his control, and there’s a scene where he says something like ...

Charles! I command you to pick up your Wookiee.

Except he rhymes it with “Mookie” and I can’t stop laughing at this thought, and the movie also stars Shelley Long as the neighbor and love interest for Plimpton’s adult son and, look, it’s been a long column, and we should probably end it here.

Until next week!

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Dale Youth ABC: The Boxing Gym on the First Floor of Grenfell Tower

The fire at Grenfell Tower in London that claimed 79 lives (and counting) gutted a legendary amateur boxing club on the first floor of the 24-story block.

Dale Youth isn't just any old ABC (amateur boxing club). Its hot-housed amateur champs, Olympians, British, European, Commonwealth and World champs.

Big name dudes and local heroes like James DeGale, who won the Olympic title in Beijing in 2008 and is now the IBF super-middleweight champ; his old stable mate and fierce ring rival, George Groves, the current WBA super-middleweight title holder; and the up and coming heavyweight prospect Daniel DuBois. All of them learnt their trade at the Dale's school of hard knocks.

As the fire raged and news of it broke on the wire, Messrs. DeGale and Groves took to social media to express their grief.

"Shocked at the devastation at Grenfell Tower block where my old amateur club Dale Youth is," DeGale tweeted. "My thoughts are with everyone affected."

"My old club the Dale Youth ABC has been there for the past 15 years," said Groves, "I was even there Sunday, and this is so sad."

The Guvnor of the Dale, coach and trainer Micky Delaney, was in the gym just before the fire broke out on the fourth-floor of the West London tower block.

"We trained in there on Tuesday night," he said. "Then I got a call at a quarter to five the next morning and they said the building was up in flames. I couldn't believe it. Now all I can think about is all the lost lives, and the families who have lost everything."

Photo by Facundo Arrizabalaga/EPA

Dale Youth ABC was upgraded in November 2016 with a £400,000 gym during the £10 million refurbishment of the 1970s era building.

Local Delaney, "born and bred a spit away" from the burnt out shadow of Grenfell Tower, is planning to move to another site in nearby Ladbroke Grove where they were based during last year's renovation.

"We'll apply for a lease there and make sure we've got somewhere for the new season."

Stoical about the loss of the present site, Delaney hopes to have the new incarnation of the Dale up and running by August and the start of the amateur boxing calendar.

"We've got to keep things in perspective. All these people have lost their lives."

"None of our boys live in the flats," he said, "which is one consolation."

Photo courtesy of Jake Murray

However, there are casualties for the Dale. One old boy who used to clean the gym, and the father of three former junior boxers, both perished in the blaze that turned the council house block into a towering inferno not seen since World War 2 and the days of the London Blitz.

Despite a change or two of location this century, the Dale has been a fixture in Notting Hill for umpteen decades. It has survived because it's surrounded by council estates, and has a huge catchment area of two-fisted working class youths and gypsy travellers who want to learn how to box.

But amateur boxing clubs like the Dale don't just service the community. They are the very lifeblood of the sport. They are where the future contenders, champions, journeymen, coaches, judges and referees are reared and honed but they are under constant threat of closure. The gentrification of London in the Nineties KO'd some big name clubs, with long, prestigious and colorful histories like Thomas a Becket (1994) and St. Monica's ABC (1999). They fell prey to the times and closed for business as rents went up and the property speculators moved in.

Long before it was forced to move to the concrete foot of Grenfell Tower on Latimer Road in 2002, "the Dale" was situated in a titchy hall on Walmer Road—a rough, tough, hard-edged street with spit buckets of boxing history. Just down the road from the Dale was the Rugby Club. Rebuilt in the 1960s, the Rugby Club was first established in 1889 as a sporting and social club for working class young men and spawned prospects like Charlie "Kipper" Allum, Arthur Goom, Alf Mancini and Digger Stanley.

Photo courtesy of Dale Youth ABC

Writing 4,204 miles from Notting Hill and Ladbroke Grove in the USA, I have a vested interest in the subject matter. My formative teens were spent on Walmer Road between the Dale and Kensington Sports Centre where I did Tae Kwon Do. And, like a great many boys who grew up in that area, if it wasn't for the Dale, and Kensington Sports Centre, I would probably be in jail or the graveyard like the vast majority of my peers from Holland Park School up the road.

Even then, the Dale was something fixed and permanent in the community. Famed for its juniors and gypsy boxers from the Westway Travellers' Site (who had a rep for sparring with malice aforethought), the spit and sawdust gym was the talk of the hood and the schoolyard. Rumor has it that the old site in Avondale Park Hall on Walmer Road used to be a morgue. True or not, it was a gym of much character all the same.

Behind the tall iron gates and arched red door one ring dominated the sweaty, dimly lit gym. Surrounding that, an alcove of old leather bags and speedballs that hung like bats from the bolts and beams of the Victorian era building. That wasn't all of it. A Saxon arched doorway in the ring area led through to a tiny weights room with a few rusted barbells, a sit-up board and a bundled up mattress tacked to the wall to practice uppercuts. No scrap or shred of space was left unused by the management. This was, after all, a proper London boxing gym.

Photo courtesy of Dale Youth ABC

And it was a gym of London characters, too. The cockney trainers who barked like pit-bull dogs when you showed fear during sparring; the flat-nosed fellas with KO limbs from the council estates of Shepherd's Bush and Latimer Road; and the never-back-down gypsy kids from under the nearby Westway flyover, one of whom I elbowed, Thai style with a sok hud, on the blind side of the coach in the summer of 1991. Needless to say, I counted my blessings and stuck to Siamese boxing thereafter.

Right now, in the punch-drunk present, it's a sad day for the community and the kids. Despite the ever growing death toll and the gym going up in flames with Grenfell Tower, Micky Delaney remains stubborn about being open for biz in August.

"As long as we've got a ring, some bags and some trainers," he said, "the Dale Youth will be okay."

Dale Youth ABC: The Boxing Gym on the First Floor of Grenfell Tower published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv