#i want syd to find fulfillment

[overflowingmind-welp]

i love them i love them i love them i love them i-

ayo edebiri, jeremy allen white, and ebon moss-bachrach for emmy magazine issue 7 (2023) click for hq | link to magazine

[balancethescales]

thinking about the specific moments where the berzatto family falls in love with sydney (because of course they do, everyone does).

for richie, it takes the end of the beef and right up till the opening of the bear to happen. he is full of contempt and grief when he meets her and all he knows is that when he looks at her face he is afraid. he doesn’t like that feeling. richie is not a man who finds himself fearful a lot, but she is everything he is not and nothing that he is and he hates himself for it. if she is what it means to be passionate, then what is he? is he nothing but an empty shell of mikey, stuck on earth to shake his fist at passing clouds, because how dare they move and continue on like mikey was nothing to them, as if he wasn’t the very point that the earth revolved around? everyone is leaving him behind, and she is proudly leading the pack. it’s not right. but then— he gets it. he talks to garrett and jess and chef terry and he sees sydney in every corner of that restaurant. the fear slowly is replaced with respect as the week goes on and he realizes that just because she’s good doesn’t mean she’s out to get him. that’s the berzatto upbringing in him doing the talking, but it doesn’t have to, because shes a berzatto now, maybe not officially (not yet, but mark his words, she will be) but she is, and that’s not how she does things. so, he lets her lead them into the future to something good and different and better.

for sugar, it’s instant. she was born to a mother who is triggered by her very existence, and it has hurt her all her life. she is full of love and the one person she wants to give it to the most doesn’t want any part of it. she was born to give but is surrounded by those who are afraid to even take it, to reach out their hand and meet her in the middle. and if they cant take then they themselves have nothing to give, so she gets used to being the one who has to force feed her love down their throats, because if no one does, if no one shows them that they are worthy of good things, then they will crumble (“if i just talked to him more—” “no, nat—” “if i had just—” “it’s not your fault, honey. it’s never been.”). but when she meets sydney, it’s like looking into a mirror. she sees her bright eyes and soft smiles and careful but strong hands and instantly recognizes her for what she is: a giver. and sugars heart swells with even more love than she thought possible, because finally, she’s not alone— there is someone else there to slowly, albeit subconsciously, take care of her crumbling family, to show them that despite what their mother may have taught them, its okay to not be okay (she tries her best not to cry when syd asks her if shes okay, but she does. and syd doesnt grab her face or yell at her or call her stupid. she makes her a meal. and sugar cries some more).

for cicero, the love isn’t instant, and it’s not even entirely love. she is strong and she is assertive, but that also makes her naive and a very expensive risk. she makes him curious for what’s to come, intrigued by the way she doesn’t back down from carmy whose voice so often mimics the berzattos that came before him (“you’re better than this, kid.” “i don’t know what i am.” “whatever it is, it’s not this.”). she's self assured and knows her place in the establishment and is unafraid to let people know it. it’s a refreshing change of pace from mikey, who often resorted to intimidation to get his way, or carmy, who’s anxiety envelopes him and distracts him from what’s right there in front of him. but she is not them. she is focused and on track and is willing to put in the work to get what she wants. he doesn’t visit the bear often, only drops by once in a while to deliver bad news or to fulfill a favour or to just enjoy some good food, but when he does, she is always there, dedicated to ensuring that carmy and michaels, and now, her dream stays alive. she is good for his family, and he trusts her to keep the berzatto spirit alive.

for michelle, it’s quite simple. she always looked out for carmy, their little bear, so when she meets her it’s a family thanksgiving party at the bear and syd stumbles out of the kitchen, obviously frazzled and a little sweaty (“carmy, im not ready, i didn’t even change yet and the turk—” “don’t worry, tina will take care of it, you look great, they’ll love you, they just really wanted to meet you—”), but she’s smiling. she’s a little awkward when she introduces herself, and michelle finds herself endeared by her nervous ramble (“it’s, uh, really nice to meet you guys. sorry, i didn’t know that i was going to be pulled out of the kitchen so soon. uh, im sydney. yeah, i guess carmy already told you guys, huh? um. im sorry, how are you related to the family again? i mean, i dont want to offend but it’s just. uh. well, you guys are just very... normal?”) and she’ll laugh and look at stanley and the two of them will think to themselves, good job carmy, she’s a good one, before telling syd something dumb and nonsensical about a genetic mutation and richie interrupts to tell michelle it’s not a genetic mutation it’s called being boring and syd will laugh and michelle will too, truly happy that their little bear found someone normal, a breath of fresh air within the smoke of their family.

for donna, it’s weird. it’s tense. they don’t meet for a long time. they don’t meet at the bear when it first opens and not at the bear even when it has found it’s footing, but by chance. they are somewhere mundane (a grocery store, a park, or maybe just the street) and there is no other family member around when syd meets the berzatto matriarch. she only knows what donna looks like from photos at sugars house because carmys apartment is devoid of any actual sentiment (although that has begun to change since she made him get an actual dresser and he dedicated one of the drawers to her stuff). she calls out to her by her name, and donna turns around startled. she doesn’t recognize syd, of course, who introduces herself and informs her of who she is to the family. when donna smiles it’s not a real one, and syd knows this, but it doesn’t deter her. she tells donna that her kids love her (“even after everything, nat?” “she’s our mother. its all that we can do.”) and that her kids are great (“carmy, you are not broken.” “im a little broken.” “no, listen to me, the fact that you are still here, means something. its something.”) and that there will always be a table for her at the bear (“chef, someones calling in for a reso for 1 but we’re all full up… except for—“ “yo, dont finish that sentence. table 7 for ms. berzatto is an indefinite booking. is that understood?” “yes, chef”). donnas smile fades and her chest fills with anger but just as she’s about to explode in typical berzatto fashion syd interrupts her. she has faced the bear many a time before and has handled herself with grace and dignity everytime, so this is no different. she smiles brightly and thanks donna for listening to her and hopes she considers coming in, because she’d really like to cook for her. she looks like she needs a good meal. she deserves one. she turns and walks away. donnas stomach growls. that night, table 7 is occupied for the first time since the bear opened its doors.

and carmy? well, there isn’t an exact moment. its a culmination of awkward partnership (“i don’t want to be shitty.” “okay, then dont be.”) and flawless teamwork (“the menu needs—” “already on it, chef.”) and nights unwinding at the bar down the street (“of course you drink an old fashioned.” “what’s that supposed to mean?” “nothing, it’s just very… tortured-chef-from-the-slums-of-chicago of you”) and spontaneous phone calls just to hear the others voice (“why are you whispering?” “i… don’t know. my dads home. its a habit.” “you’re 27.” “and you’re white, you wouldn’t get it.”) till they’re just inseparable (“cousin, wheres carmy?” “with syd, duh.” “why'd i even ask?”). and then, sydney and carmen become something else. something tender and sweet and terrifying and beautiful all mixed together into… something. there’s no word for what they have. but it feels so right; to the guests who taste their food and recognize that the hands who put it together are full of love and care; to the staff at the bear who see the unspoken communication, the lingering touches, and their soft eyes that seem to always be on the other; to the berzatto family who notice that carmy looks a little brighter, and shakes a little less. yes, its love, but its so much more. it’s syd and carmy. it always has been, and always will be.

(“can i ask you something? something corny and lame and gross?” “always.” “when did you, like, know?” “know what?” “like, when did you know that you loved me? like, not as a chef or a friend, but as... y'know.” “that’s very middle school of you to ask.” “shut up, i did warn you.” “…” “so?” “its, uh, i don’t, i don’t know.” “well, that’s rude.” “no, i mean, i can’t say its one moment because... it was all of them. together. like, one moment you’re staging and then everything happened and, and, keeps happening but the next thing i knew you were there and you always were there and i just knew that i never wanted you to not be there.” “that’s…. really, really, disgusting, and frankly, a little unprofessional.” “oh, fuck off.” “no, like, i knew you were obsessed with me, but wow, that is a whole new other level.” “fuck you, get off of me, don’t touch me.” “no no no, please—” “i let you into my family—” “let me?” “into my restaurant—” “i think you mean OUR restaurant—” “only for you to humiliate me in my own bed? how dare you.” “…are you sulking?” “…” “…carmy?” “syd?” “me too.” “…heard, chef. now come back here.”)

(and it’s unspoken, but everyone knows that michael would’ve loved her too. i mean, she’s sydney fucking adamu, she conquered the bear. how could anyone not love her?)

[chiffxna]

A Love Too Dark (04)

The Marquis Vincent de Gramont x Reader

Chapter 04: Insatiable Need For Satisfaction

WARNING: THIS IS A DARK FIC.

This story will contain 18+ mature themes, blackmail, forced kissing, dark romance, toxic behaviour, blood, violence, stalking, manipulation, a lot of smut, dubious consent, non-consensual content, non-consensual creampie, breeding, yandere Marquis de Gramont, power play, and power imbalance, obsession, dark Marquis de Gramont, and abuse of power. The list will be added more as the story progresses. Minors, don't read.

Story Masterlist

PREV : Chapter 03

NEXT : Chapter 05

Chapter Summary:

Yn lived the day like normal until it was time to meet the Marquis de Gramont for the deal they made.

Yn awoke from her slumber with the sun's first light, though it was still far too early for her taste. She lay in bed paralyzed by fear as the full weight of what would happen that evening crashed down on her fragile shoulders. Today, she would fulfill her part of the deal with the Marquis de Gramont which was to spend a private dinner with him that evening. Yn sighed heavily as she stared up at her ceiling and wondered how exactly she got into this position.

She remembered how her life was before she took the bunny-girl job. She, her mother, and her young stepsister was from a small family who was poor in money yet rich in love. They were happy despite the struggles they faced. Yn and Sydney could see how hardworking her mother was in trying to make ends meet while ensuring that both of his daughters were happy. They loved her truly and wanted nothing more than to ease her burden.

Yn did not bother to ask her about her father since her mother showered her with love and praises endlessly. Yn was given so much motherly love that she didn't feel the lack of fatherly affection. She was fine with just her mother. In their dingy apartment, their life was like sunshine and a rainbow.

And then, the storm struck.

When her mother got diagnosed with a rare disease and needed expensive treatment, it was up to Yn who had to take on the burdens and work as a young adult to do whatever it took to save her. She tried getting loans but was turned down due to her lack of collateral. That was when she turned to the casino and took on the job as a bunny-girl.

But never in her wildest dreams did she ever imagine that she would end up being in a situation like this. A shiver ran down her spine as she imagined what the Marquis had planned for her that evening. She knew she had to be strong and brave when that time comes, not just for herself and Amelia, but most importantly, for her mother.

Yn got out of bed and made her way to the bathroom to freshen up. As she looked at herself in the mirror, she wondered if the Marquis find her attractive. She had never considered herself a beauty, but the way he had kissed her made her think otherwise. She shook her head, trying to clear her mind of such thoughts, and focused on preparing herself for the day.

"Mrraoww!"

Yn turned to see that Rosie, her precious and adorable cat, had entered the bathroom and was sitting and staring up at her with a pair of wide green eyes. Yn couldn't resist herself from bending down and petting its head lovingly. She then spoke, "I know. I know. You must be hungry."

She then busied herself with feeding Rosie and preparing breakfast for both her and Sydney. The latter woke up and suddenly wrapped her tiny arms around Yn's waist, startling the adult female.

"Yn, I had a bad dream," Sydney said in a small muffled voice since she had buried her face into Yn's skirt.

Yn immediately stopped what she was doing, wiped her hands on the apron around her front body, and knelt down to be at eye level with her stepsister. "Oh no. What happened, Syd?"

"I dreamt that mom was sick and we couldn't save her," Sydney said, her eyes filled with tears.

Yn felt a pang of guilt in her chest. She knew that Sydney was feeling the same way she was, scared and worried about their mother. Yn and her mother tried to hide the true severity of her illness and its treatment from Sydney, but the girl eventually felt lonely of her mother's love and became worried about why she was stuck in the hospital for months. It was then she concluded that mom needed saving.

Yn hugged Sydney tightly and said, "Don't worry, Syd. We'll save her. We'll do whatever it takes to make sure she gets better."

Sydney nodded her head, her tears drying up. Yn then stood up and said with a warm smile, "Now, how about we get some breakfast? I made your favorite pancakes."

Sydney's eyes lit up and she grinned, "Yay! Pancakes!"

Yn smiled and took Sydney's hand, leading her to the dining table. She served the pancakes while Sydney set the table. As they ate, Yn stared at her young stepsister quietly. It was at that moment she realized that she really needed the job at the casino. She must maintain her position there and earn enough for her mother's hospital treatment. But first of all, she had to fulfill her promise to the Marquis de Gramont. Hopefully, after tonight, Amelia's job at the casino would maintain and Yn wouldn't have any direct confrontation with the Frenchman.

As they finished breakfast, Yn got up and began to clear the dishes. Sydney offered to help, but Yn told her to go and get ready for school. Once everything was done, Yn walked her to preschool and dropped her off with a tight hug.

Yn then headed to the cafe where she would work her morning shift by boarding a bus. Edric was the first to greet her with a grin as she walked in.

"Good morning, Yn! You're early today," Edric said in his usual calm voice.

Yn smiled back and replied, "Yes, I want to make sure I have everything covered before the evening shift. Is there anything I need to know?"

Edric shook his head and said, "Nope, everything's the same. Just be your charming self and serve that coffee and pastries like a pro."

Yn nodded and was about to saunter to the back to change into her uniform when Edric suddenly called her, "Hey..."

Yn looked at him with a pair of wide doe eyes of curiosity, wondering what it was that Edric needed to talk to her about. The male then hesitantly asked, "Umm. Last night, did that guy disturb you again?"

The lady knew he was referring to the Marquis de Gramont. She had told him about a man who kept pursuing her but she never mentioned the Frenchman's name or identity to him and she would like to keep it that.

Yn hesitated for a moment, unsure of how much to reveal to Edric. She knew that the Marquis was a man of power and influence and she didn't want to get anyone else involved in her problems. So she decided to lie.

"He didn't... Last night was... fine," she lied as she felt goosebumps grow on her skin as she recalled the filthy, rough way the Marquis sucked her mouth last night.

Edric nodded with a stretched smile, an expression that Yn couldn't read. He replied, "That's good then. But stay alert, okay? He is not the only man with bad intentions."

Yn nodded, "I will. Thank you for asking."

With that, she headed to the back to change into her uniform. As she worked her shift, she couldn't help but think about the Marquis de Gramont and what he had in store for her that evening. She tried to push the thought away, focusing instead on her customers and serving them with her usual charm and grace. But the nagging feeling at the back of her mind refused to go away.

Finally, her morning shift was over and Yn headed home to preschool to pick Sydney up. As the former entered the preschool, she saw her adorable sister waiting by the entrance, holding her little backpack tightly. The moment that little girl spotted her, she ran towards her with a wide smile, her pigtails bouncing with each step. To Yn, the sight of her stepsister's innocent smile brought a momentary respite from the heavy thoughts that weighed on her mind.

"Yn!" Sydney exclaimed, wrapping her small arms around Yn's legs in a tight hug.

Yn beamed and patted her head affectionately, "Hey, how was your day?"

Sydney giggled and replied, "It was good! We painted pictures today, and I made one for mom!"

Yn's heart swelled with love and pride for Sydney's sweet gesture. "That's wonderful, Syd! I'm sure mom will love it. Let's go to the hospital and show her, okay?"

Sydney nodded eagerly, her pigtails bouncing with excitement. Yn held her hand as they made their way to the hospital by boarding a bus. Throughout the ride, Yn watched as the little girl hummed a kid's song while admiring the drawing she made with crayons. Yn smiled warmly at the innocent scene, grateful for this moment of serenity amidst the chaos of her life.

Arriving at the hospital, they went through the familiar routine of sanitizing their hands and checking in at the reception desk. Yn noticed the tiredness in her mother's eyes as they entered the room. It broke her heart to see her once vibrant and lively mother weakened by her illness.

"Mom!" Sydney exclaimed, rushing to her mother's bedside, unaware of the sickly condition on the older woman's face.

Yn followed closely behind, a mixture of emotions bubbling inside her. She greeted her mother with a warm smile, trying to hide her own worries. "Hey, mom. Look who's here with something special for you."

Their mother's face lit up with a gentle smile as she saw Sydney holding up her painted picture. "Oh, my sweet Sydney. What a lovely surprise! Thank you, darling."

Sydney proudly presented the artwork to her mother, who admired it with genuine affection. Yn stood by their side, her heart swelling with love and a tinge of sadness. As they spent the rest of the afternoon with their mother, Yn couldn't help but think of the grim reality that loomed over their family. Their mother had been battling her illness for months, and with each passing day, Yn could see her weakening. She knew that time was running out, and it broke her heart to think of a life without her mother.

She knew she must earn enough money fast before the illness could consume her forever. But how? She thought: Does she have to take on a third job every day?

After spending some quality time with their mother, Yn and Sydney said their goodbyes, promising to return soon. Yn held Sydney's hand tightly as they walked out of the hospital, a heavy silence enveloping them. Sydney looked up at Yn with innocent eyes, sensing her sister's unease.

"Sissy, are you okay?" Sydney asked, her voice filled with concern.

Yn crouched down to Sydney's level, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. She forced a smile, wanting to shield Sydney from her worries as much as possible. "I'm fine, Syd. Just a little tired. Let's go home."

They boarded a bus and made their way back home. Yn decided to take a shower to wash off the dust and grime of the day. As she stood under the hot water, she felt her body relax. Her mind wandered, wondering what the evening would bring. She tried to push away the image of the Marquis, but it was etched into her mind. She couldn't shake off the feeling of dread and fright that he had evoked in her.

After the shower, Yn put on a wear she deemed fitting for a private dinner - a dress with white and blue floral patterns all over it. The bottom of the dress was just inches above her ankles, and the waist area was made tightened to show her midsection, with a split to show up her left thigh, with short puffed sleeves, and revealing a modest amount of her chest and collarbones. It was a pretty modest dress. It was actually a hand-me-down from her mom and that was the most expensive dress for someone as poor as her.

Before entering the living room to find Sydney, she contacted Barbara yet again. When her cousin agreed to take care of Sydney again, Yn felt an immense sense of gratitude and hoped she wasn't putting too much strain on her.

Yn then put on her skincare routine and light makeup to complement her dress, opting for a natural look that accentuated her features. She brushed some neutral eyeshadow on her lids, added a touch of mascara to enhance her lashes, and applied a soft pink shade to her lips. As she looked at herself in the mirror, she couldn't help but feel in awe of how she looked.

With her appearance ready, Yn made her way to the living room where Sydney was playing with her toys. Her stepsister looked up, her eyes widening in awe as she took in Yn's transformed appearance.

"Wow, you look so pretty!" Sydney exclaimed, her face lighting up with delight, "Like a princess about to talk with people on the streets!"

Yn smiled at the little girl's enthusiasm, her heart warmed by Sydney's innocent admiration. "Thank you, Syd."

"You are going to work like that?" asked Sydney who couldn't keep her eyes off of her sister.

Yn neared her and turned on the television to entertain the little girl. She then rubbed the top of her young sister's head and replied with a small smile, "Yeah. Tonight, I have dinner there."

Sydney tilted her head, her curiosity was evident. "Who are you going to have dinner with?"

Yn hesitated for a moment, unsure of how to explain the situation to a young child. She decided to keep it simple. "A friend, but don't worry, Aunt Barbara will take care of you while I'm gone."

Sydney nodded, accepting Yn's explanation. "Okay! Have fun!"

Yn hugged Sydney tightly, breathing in her sweet scent and cherishing the warmth of their embrace. "I will, Syd. I love you."

"I love you too, Yn," Sydney replied, her small voice filled with affection.

Reluctantly, Yn released the hug and stood up, her heart heavy with both guilt and trepidation about what would happen next. She then boarded a bus with a huge amount of shyness and insecurity, considering she was dressing up prettily, in the dress she rarely wore in public. Of course, she noticed the stares she got from people and that got her feel even more bashful.

Soon enough, she arrived at the casino, one hour earlier than the start of her usual shift. She entered through the back door which was reserved for staff's use only. She refused to go through the main entrance and the casino lobby and be stared at by the patrons. Once inside the staff's changing room, she began to wonder how she was going to meet the Marquis. He said he would pick her up. She wondered: Does that mean she has to wait outside the casino?

Yn took a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves. She glanced at the clock in the changing room and realized she had some time before the scheduled meeting. She decided to freshen up, ensuring she looked presentable when the Marquis arrived.

She touched up her makeup, ensuring everything was in place. The nerves were still present, but she reminded herself to stay composed and focused. As she finished fixing her appearance, she glanced at her reflection in the mirror, trying to muster up confidence.

With a final deep breath, Yn emerged from the changing room, only to have her path blocked by Amelia who seemed to be tip-toeing towards it. The new girl was startled when she saw Yn, her skin visibly jumping in surprise.

"Amelia," Yn greeted her with wide, curious eyes, "You are early."

"Hey, Yn," replied Amelia as she put on a nervous smile. She paused as she scanned Yn's whole figure up and down and commented, "And you look pretty. Is there a special occasion tonight?"

Yn felt her cheeks heat up, flustered by the compliment. "Uh, yeah. I have a meeting with someone tonight."

Amelia made a noise of curiosity, "Oh."

"Anyway, why are you here early?" asked Yn.

An expression of guilt and embarrassment appeared on Amelia's face as she cast her eyes down. She was staring at the ground, apparently unable to look back at Yn, as she answered, "Umm... I figured that I could come early and apologize to Mr. Malone... for being absent without telling him... before anyone comes here."

Yn suddenly realized why Amelia had come in so early. She wanted to speak to Mr. Malone without anyone else around, in case he became angry with her and embarrassed her in front of her colleagues.

Yn felt a pang of sympathy for the new girl. She knew how intimidating Mr. Malone could be, especially when he was angry. Without thinking, Yn reached out and placed a comforting hand on Amelia's shoulder.

"It's okay, Amelia. We all make mistakes. I'm sure Mr. Malone will understand," Yn said, trying to reassure the nervous girl.

Amelia looked up at Yn, gratitude shining in her eyes. "Thanks, Yn."

Yn smiled warmly at Amelia. As the both of them stood in the corridor, engaged in their conversation, the casino's atmosphere suddenly shifted. A hush fell over the area, and Yn's heart skipped a beat. She could sense a presence, a powerful one, entering the casino. She turned her head in the direction of the disturbance and saw the Marquis de Gramont making his grand entrance.

Accompanied by his imposing bodyguards, the Marquis exuded an air of confidence and authority. His presence demanded attention, and all eyes were on him as he made his way through the bustling casino floor. His eyes were cold and intense, a shadow projected upon them, as he looked forward with one of his hands hidden inside his pocket.

He was donning a three-piece suit as usual but this time, it was eye-catching and bright. His suit was a shimmering pattern of rich red. His shirt was plain white, and his waistcoat, necktie, and pants were stark black. Yn couldn't help but admit in her head that he looked dashing in the bright attire.

Amelia and Yn instantly became quiet as they watched the Marquis headed straight for his office which was originally a VIP room for the casino. At some point, his eyes strayed and scanned his surrounding as though he was looking for something.

Yn felt a chill run down her spine as the Marquis' piercing gaze landed on her. Even from across the room, his gaze felt heavy and weighty, as if he was reading her very soul. Yn felt perturbation as she locked eyes with the Marquis. She quickly turned her head away from him, hoping to avoid more of his attention.

Yn's heart raced as the Marquis continued to scrutinize her. His lingering gaze made her feel exposed and vulnerable. She was relieved when he finally disappeared behind the closed door of his office. His bodyguards stood on each side of the door, facing the rest of the casino. The momentary respite allowed her to collect herself and turn her attention back to Amelia.

Amelia, visibly shaken by the encounter, looked at Yn with wide eyes. "Yn, I'm scared. I... What if he's going to fire me?"

Yn reached out, placing a comforting hand on Amelia's shoulder. She understood the fear that gripped her colleague. The Marquis's presence was intimidating, and his power within the casino was undeniable. But Yn couldn't let her own fears consume her, not when Amelia needed support.

"I understand how you feel, Amy," Yn said, her voice gentle yet firm. "The first thing you should do is to apologize to him. If you want, I can accompany you to see him."

Amelia looked at Yn, a mix of gratitude and uncertainty in her eyes. "You would do that? You would go with me?"

Yn nodded, a reassuring smile on her face. "Of course. We'll approach him respectfully. Oh, and tell them that you were sick these past few days. I told them that. Just to get the story straight."

With Yn's words of encouragement, Amelia's tense shoulders relaxed slightly. She felt a glimmer of hope, knowing that she wouldn't have to face the Marquis alone. She then replied, "Okay. Thanks for that, Yn."

Yn and Amelia decided to wait for a while before approaching the Marquis. They found a quiet corner of the casino, away from the prying eyes of the patrons. Yn reached out and took Amelia's hand, offering support and solidarity.

"Just remember, Amy, choose your words carefully," Yn said, her voice steady. "Give him respect, even if you dislike him or find his views distasteful."

Amelia nodded, a newfound determination in her eyes. She squeezed Yn's hand, appreciating the strength and compassion her colleague displayed.

With their minds set, Yn and Amelia walked toward the Marquis's office once again. This time, as they approached the closed door, they could feel a mix of nervousness and resolve coursing through their veins.

One of the bodyguards stationed by the door asked them in a very thick foreign accent, "What do you want?"

Yn maintained a respectful tone as she spoke, "We would like to speak with the Marquis if he's available."

The bodyguard, unyielding in his stance, scrutinized them for a moment before stepping closer to the door and knock it. They waited for a few seconds before the door was opened from the inside. It was the loyal and muscular bodyguard in a suit who was accompanying the Marquis wherever he went.

He then asked the bodyguard outside the door in another language. Yn realized it's not French, but Spanish. The two bodyguards exchanged a few words before the man who was stationed by the door turned to Yn and Amelia and said, "You may come in."

The Marquis' loyal bodyguard then opened the door wider and waited. Yn and Amelia said a small thanks to them before they advanced. They stepped into the office, the bodyguard closing the heavy door behind them and he then stood aside, becoming a silent observer of the scene. The room was opulent, adorned with lavish furniture and artwork that spoke of wealth and prestige. The Marquis stood behind a large mahogany desk, facing a full-body mirror on the wall, as he adjusted his waistcoat.

His cold gaze shifted to the two girls in the reflection of the mirror before he focused back on fixing his overall three-piece suit. He did not utter a word. It was either he chose to ignore them or he awaited them to speak.

Yn took a deep breath, gathering her courage before she spoke. "Sir, if I may, I have brought Amelia with me today because she would like to speak with you directly."

The Marquis's cold gaze flickered briefly towards Yn, acknowledging her presence. He turned his attention back to the mirror, adjusting his suit with meticulous precision. The room remained filled with an air of tension, the weight of the Marquis's authority palpable.

Amelia, sensing the need to break the silence, stepped forward and spoke with a voice tinged with nervousness. "Sir, I... I wanted to apologize for my disrespectful behavior that night. I am truly sorry for my action, and it will not happen again. I will learn from my mistake and I will improve myself."

The Marquis resumed adjusting his attire. His cold eyes, projected by shadow, looked as his fingers deftly fixed his necktie. His silence lingered, intensifying the tension in the room. Yn could feel her own heart pounding, unsure of what the Marquis's response would be.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the Marquis turned away from the mirror and faced them with an air of authority, shoulders square and gaze stony and unreadable. His face was illuminated by shadows, highlighting his sharp cheekbones and the strong line of his jaw. His hands were hidden away in the pockets of his suit. His eyes were blazed with a fierce intensity that left Amelia cowering in fear as if he had a personal vendetta against her.

With deliberate slowness, he spoke in a low and measured tone with his usual thick French accent, "Actions speak louder than words. Your apology is worthless… unless you prove it. It has come to my attention that you were absent for two days straight and failed to notify Malone. Do you have an explanation for this negligence?"

The Marquis's words were like a sword, cutting through the air and leaving a trail of unease in its wake. Amelia swallowed hard, her eyes darting nervously at the Marquis and the floor beneath her.

"I… I was sick, sir. I didn't mean to cause any problems," she stammered, hoping to appease the Marquis's wrath, "I'm so sorry for not informing Mr. Malone."

The Marquis's eyes narrowed slightly at her response as if he was skeptical of her excuse.

He said, his voice dripping with sarcasm, "You were sick for two days and couldn't be bothered to notify your superior? That is unprofessional."

Amelia and Yn's hearts skipped a beat, and fear coiled at the pit of their stomach. Amelia knew she was walking on thin ice then and there, and one wrong move could tip her over the edge. She could feel the weight of his disapproval bearing down on her and that her job was on the line.

The Marquis suddenly advanced forward, striding towards them with his hands remaining hidden in his pockets. He gave a fleeting glance at Yn, who was equally nervous as the coworker beside her, before he turned his gaze back to scowl at Amelia whom he deemed was clumsy and unprofessional.

The Marquis's glare deepened as he towered over the young female adults, his imposing presence suffocating the room. He spoke with a voice that brooked no dissent, "Second chances are always the excuses of those who fail. Your actions have consequences, and I have been contemplating if you are fit to remain in this casino."

Amelia's breath hitched, her eyes welling up with tears as she realized the severity of the situation. She pleaded desperately, her voice trembling, "Please, sir, I will do anything to make it right. I beg for another chance. I will bear any consequences, I swear."

The Marquis's gaze shifted from Amelia to Yn, a calculating glint in his eyes. Yn's heart sank as she braced herself for what the Marquis was about to say.

"Agreed. Consequences must be borne," the Marquis responded as he shifted closer to Yn. This time his eyes were fixated on Yn, watching her reaction, as he revealed, "However, it had been discussed yesterday. Yn will bear the consequences on your behalf."

Amelia's eyes widened in shock and her mouth agape in disbelief at what she heard. Yn, on the other hand, had her gaze averted away from Amelia and her face held a mixture of shame and embarrassment. Her body was stiff with a tense posture as the shock of the situation sunk in. It was evident that Yn did not want her to find out like this. If anything, she wished no one would know about her deal with the Marquis de Gramont and their upcoming private dinner.

The Marquis' lips curled into a faint, satisfied smile. He turned his attention back to Amelia, his gaze piercing through her like a dagger. "Consider yourself fortunate, that Yn is willing to shoulder your burden. Remember this act of loyalty, for it may be your only saving grace."

The Marquis looked Yn up and down in a way that was both appraising and appreciative. His smirk revealed his satisfaction with what he saw, leaving no doubt as to his thoughts. His eyes were sparkling with a hint of pleasure, and his mouth curved upwards into a smug smirk.

He nodded his head quietly before he said, "Come, Yn. We shall tend to the deal we made."

Yn took a deep breath, steeling herself against the Marquis's gaze. She knew that what she was about to do was risky, but if she could satisfy him for the night, Amelia's career would be taken from the chopping block. She had done this to herself and made a deal with the devil, so she'd have to fulfill her end of the bargain.

She chanced a glance at Amelia who was still stunned at the revelation. She gave her a sad smile and said, "Don't forget to talk to Mr. Malone, okay?"

She turned around and followed the Marquis out of his office, aware of Amelia's eyes following her until the new girl was snapped out of a trance by another bodyguard who told her to leave the office.

The Marquis and Yn walked in silence down the winding halls of the casino, the only sound was the click of the Marquis' dress shoes on the polished marble floors. His loyal bodyguard followed them from behind. Finally, they exited the casino through the entrance and out into the city streets.

A sleek black limousine awaited them outside the casino, its engine humming softly. The Marquis opened the door and gestured for Yn to step inside, even placing a hand on her back purposely. She hesitated for a moment, her heart pounding with a mix of trepidation and uncertainty. As she entered the luxurious vehicle, she couldn't help but feel trapped.

The Marquis followed suit, sliding into the limousine with an air of confidence and authority. His smug expression remained firmly in place, his eyes glinting with a mix of satisfaction and intrigue. The door was closed behind him by his loyal bodyguard, sealing them off from the outside world.

The limousine's interior is luxurious and opulent, with plush leather seats, polished wood accents, and dim ambient lighting lending a sense of sophistication. The atmosphere inside the limousine was heavy with a mix of scents; the leather seats had a scent of newness, while the wood accents carried a subtle hint of fresh cedar. There was also the faint aroma of expensive cologne, adding to the air of mystery and power.

The Marquis settled into his seat, his knee bumping against Yn's, causing her to sneakily look over. He was spreading his legs wide enough that one of his knees brushed against hers. When she sensed his gaze landing on her, she averted her gaze and looked out the window. The male beside her stared at her quietly, like he was silently relishing the control he held over her.

The vehicle started moving, the quiet hum of the engine filling the small space, as the limousine glided through the darkening city streets. Yn felt the tension in the air build as she could feel the Marquis's gaze burning into her head.

The Marquis' voice broke the heavy silence, his voice thick with a French accent was dripping with a mixture of amusement and admiration. "You look ravishing, ma lapine."

He paused to scrutinize her. He eyed her figure up and down and harrumphed in pleasure and satisfaction as he spoke, "Hmm... The way that dress hugs your curves, it makes it difficult for me."

Yn's discomfort grew as the Marquis's words washed over her. She tried to maintain her composure, reminding herself of the deal she had struck, but the unease within her intensified. The compliments felt more like veiled manipulation than genuine praise.

"Thank you, sir," Yn responded politely, her voice laced with a hint of unease. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat, inching slightly away from the Marquis to create some distance between them. The confined space of the limousine only seemed to amplify her unease.

The Marquis, seemingly undeterred by Yn's reluctance, continued to engage her in conversation. He spoke about the casino's operations, his travels, and various aspects of his glamorous life. Yn responded with polite nods and brief answers, trying her best to keep the conversation at arm's length.

"You seem tense, ma lapine," the Marquis observed, a hint of curiosity and smugness in his eyes. "Is it the anticipation of what lies ahead?"

Yn hesitated, her mind racing to come up with a suitable response. She couldn't reveal her true concerns, the weight of the consequences she had shouldered for Amelia's sake. Instead, she opted for a lie that would redirect the conversation away from her personal predicament.

"No, sir... It's just... I'm worried about what Mr. Malone will think about my sudden absence," Yn replied, her voice tinged with anxiety. "He's a strict man when it comes to punctuality."

The Marquis's lips curled into a knowing smile, amusement flickering in his eyes. His voice carried a hint of something dark as he reassured her, "Ah, don't worry. I have told Malone. He understands the importance of our personal... affair this evening."

As he finished speaking, the Marquis placed his hand on Yn's knee, his touch lingering longer than necessary. Yn's discomfort surged, and she instinctively shifted her knee away from his grasp, her gaze fixed on a distant point outside the window.

The Frenchman withdrew his hand, a faint smirk playing on his lips as if he found it amusing to see how uncomfortable Yn appeared because of him. The air inside the limousine grew heavier, the tension palpable, as Yn felt anxious about what she did.

Her mind raced with conflicting thoughts and emotions. She knew she had to play her part, but the Marquis' advances were testing her resolve. She took a deep breath, trying to steady herself. But her heart was pounding, and her palms were slick with sweat. Somehow, she had to survive the next few hours with this man, and she didn't know if she could do it.

As the limousine glided through the city streets, Yn's mind was in overdrive, trying to assure herself that she would finish her part of the deal with dignity still intact by the end of this evening. She couldn't shake off the feeling of being trapped, and the Marquis's touch made her skin crawl.

Just then, the limousine came to a stop, and Yn's heart skipped a beat. She realized as she stared out the window that they were located somewhere remote and halted in front of a huge mansion that screamed filthy rich. The door by the Marquis' side was opened by the bodyguard, and he stepped out, offering his hand to Yn to help her out of the car.

Yn hesitated for a moment before taking his hand, feeling a shiver run down her spine as his fingers curled around hers. She stepped out of the limousine, her heels clicking against the pavement as she stood beside the Marquis. She looked up at the mansion, awe-struck by its grandeur and magnificence. It was a stark contrast to the city streets they had just left behind.

Another thing she easily perceived was the great number of bodyguards outside the building. They were all dressed in grey suits, and some of them were women. Their faces were masked with stoic expressions and gazes that can’t be read. They stared straight ahead while they stood in two straight and even lines, a path leading from the limousine to the grand entrance of the mansion.

"Welcome to my humble abode, ma lapine," the Marquis suddenly spoke up, giving out his arm to signify her to grab it. He added, "We have time to spare so I will show you around."

Yn was speechless as she subconsciously grabbed his arm. The Marquis led the way to the front door and passed his numerous bodyguards. Once they stepped inside thanks to two more bodyguards opening the door for them, Yn felt as if she had been transported to another world.

The interior of the mansion was breathtaking, with ornate decorations and furnishings that exuded elegance and sophistication. The Marquis gave her a grand tour, showcasing his collection of art, antiques, and exotic possessions from his travels around the world.

Yn's face lit up, giving her a dreamy and radiant expression, as she took in the grandeur of the mansion. Her eyes sparkled with admiration and awe, and her mouth opened slightly in amazement. The Marquis watched her with a proud and pleased expression, a small smile playing on his lips. His eyes darted from Yn to the various objects around the mansion, as if he was trying to gauge her reaction to each one.

As they walked through the hallways, Yn couldn't help but feel intimidated by the opulence of it all. She felt like an outsider, out of place in this world of extravagance and luxury. The Marquis seemed to revel in her discomfort, his voice dripping with smugness and confidence as he pointed out various artifacts and paintings, as if showing off his wealth and power.

But the tour eventually came to an end as they reached a set of doors that led to a private wing of the mansion. The Marquis turned to Yn with a glint in his eye that made her heart skip a beat.

"Shall we retire to my bedroom, ma lapine?" he asked, his hand reaching out to cup her cheek.

Yn's breath caught in her throat, and she instinctively stepped back, her eyes wide with fear and panic. She was about to protest when the Marquis chuckled in amusement. He told her, "I was kidding. But, come. It's time to see your part of the deal. We would have that private dinner in my bedroom, on the balcony."

Yn let out a sigh of relief. She followed him to the private wing of the mansion, her mind racing with thoughts. She wondered what kind of dinner the Marquis had planned for them since everything inside this mansion was majestic and rich. She looked to the side to see it was his loyal bodyguard still tailing them from behind.

As they entered the bedroom, Yn was struck by its opulence. The room was spacious, with a king-sized bed in the middle and a balcony overlooking the city. The walls were adorned with gold-framed paintings, and the furniture was made of the finest wood.

The Marquis gestured towards the balcony, where a candlelit table was set up with silverware and crystal glasses. Yn could smell the delicious aroma of food wafting through the air.

The Marquis pulled out a chair for Yn and seated her before taking his own seat across from her. The bodyguard stood behind the Marquis, watching their every move with a scrutinizing gaze. Yn felt the cool breeze on her face as she took in the breathtaking view of the city skyline. The Marquis poured her a glass of wine, and they began to eat the sumptuous meal that had been laid out in front of them.

The food was exquisite, and Yn couldn't help but feel in awe of this experience. She had never tasted anything like these before, and she savored every bite. The Marquis watched her with a satisfied expression, his eyes drinking in her beauty as she ate.

Yn was acutely aware of the Marquis's gaze on her, and it made her uneasy even amidst the lavishness of the setting. She maintained a composed facade, gracefully savoring each morsel, though her mind was racing with conflicting emotions and thoughts.

"So, enlighten me, Yn," the Marquis began as he put down his utensils and leaned against the backrest of his chair. One of his legs was resting atop the other and both of his arms were placed on the armrests. He asked, "Do your parents work?"

Yn's heart sank for a moment, realizing that the Marquis was delving into personal territory. It was a topic she preferred to keep tightly guarded, as it held painful memories and private struggles. She had learned to navigate life without the support of her father, and her mother's illness was a burden she carried with a heavy heart.

Besides that, she knew she had to be careful with her responses, as revealing too much could give him leverage over her. She chose her words carefully, attempting to deflect the conversation away from her family.

"My mother doesn't work," she replied, deciding not to divulge the whole truth about her family situation. "She's staying at home, and I help take care of her."

The Marquis raised an eyebrow, seemingly intrigued by her response. "That must be quite challenging for you, balancing your responsibilities here and at home."

"It has its difficulties, but I manage," she replied quietly. She hoped that by ending the topic fast, she could avoid any further probing questions.

But the Marquis was an astute and perceptive man, and he seemed to sense her evasion. He leaned in slightly, his eyes locked onto hers as one eyebrow of his rose, and he asked, "What about your father, hmm?"

Yn's heart raced, and she could feel her palms becoming clammy. She had not expected him to inquire about her father, and her mind raced to find a suitable response that wouldn't give away too much. The truth about her father's infidelity and their broken family was too personal and painful to share with a stranger like the Marquis.

"My father..." Yn hesitated, searching for the right words. "He's not in the picture. My mother and I manage just fine."

The Marquis studied her carefully, his dark eyes seemingly piercing through her facade. She could feel his gaze weighing on her, and she instinctively looked down, pretending to be absorbed in her food.

"I see," the Marquis said, his voice dropping slightly lower. "You've had to shoulder such responsibilities at a young age."

Yn nodded, not trusting herself to speak further. She tried to steer the conversation elsewhere, hoping to divert his attention from prying into her personal life.

"What about you, sir?" she asked, trying to sound genuinely curious. "You must have a family of your own?"

The Marquis chuckled as if amused by the question. He replied, "Ah, my life is rather... complicated. Let's just say that I have my responsibilities as well. Still, I find ways to entertain myself through them."

He flashed a knowing smile, making it clear that he had no intention of divulging his personal life either. Yn felt a shiver run down her spine as she pondered the hidden meaning behind his words. The Marquis was a mysterious man, and she couldn't help but feel a sense of unease around him. She remembered Sophia, one of her coworkers at the casino, saying that she had heard of the Marquis being involved in the underworld. She thought: Could it be that he was referring to those kinds of responsibilities?

She tried to shake off her discomfort and focus on the present moment, savoring the exquisite food and enjoying the opulent surroundings.

As they continued their dinner, the conversation remained more on the surface, discussing general topics like art, culture, and the city's social scene. Yn was relieved that the Marquis seemed to have let go of prying into her personal life, but she remained cautious, knowing that he was a master manipulator.

Yn realized that navigating this evening would be a delicate dance, a constant balancing act between protecting her secrets and playing along with the Marquis's advances. She knew she had to tread carefully, as one wrong step could have dire consequences for herself and those she cared about.

After dessert, just as a few bodyguards came in and cleaned up the dishes, the Marquis suddenly called for the bodyguard who was always accompanying him, "Chidi."

Yn shot a glance at the bodyguard whom she then knew his name. Chidi advanced forward till he stood next to the Marquis. That's when she saw it. A medium-sized velvet box was given to the Marquis. Chidi then backed away and, for some reason, exited the bedroom wordlessly.

The Marquis uncrossed his legs, leaned closer to the table, and placed it there, pushing it closer to Yn. She was puzzled and made no move or utter a word as she stared at him quizzically. The Frenchman's corners of his lips turned upward as he told her, "For you. You may open it."

Yn's curiosity was piqued as the Marquis urged her to open the velvet box. With a mixture of intrigue and caution, she delicately lifted the lid, revealing its contents. Inside the box lay an exquisite piece of jewelry nestled inside—a minimalist rose gold pearl necklace. Yn was thoroughly captivated by it as her eyes widened in awe.

"It's beautiful," Yn whispered, her voice clearly filled with admiration. She was dazzled by the craftsmanship and elegance of the necklace, unable to deny its undeniable allure.

The Marquis leaned back in his chair, observing her reaction with a smirk. He commented smoothly, "It's a rare piece, just like you."

She could not find it in herself to touch the piece of jewelry so she closed the lid and carefully placed it on the table. Yn’s expression was one of shock as her wide eyes gazed at the handsome Marquis as if she was looking for answers in his face. Her lips were slightly parted and there was a glimmer of wonder in her gaze, as she struggled to comprehend the thoughtful gift that he just bestowed upon her.

Yn's mind was in a whirlwind of emotions. The gift was exquisite, and a part of her was drawn to its beauty, but she couldn't shake off the feeling of unease. It was too extravagant, too much for her to accept from a man she hardly knew. The weight of his intentions and the underlying implications of his gesture pressed upon her.

"Sir, I... I appreciate your gesture," Yn began, her voice filled with uncertainty. "But this necklace, it's too much for me. I can't accept such a gift."

The Marquis leaned forward, his eyes locked onto hers with unwavering intensity. His voice was silky and persuasive as he said, "Beauty deserves to be adorned and cherished. This necklace is a reflection of the allure and elegance I see in you. I insist you accept it."

Yn's heart fluttered at his words, his charm and flattery momentarily clouding her judgment. She was drawn to his words, the way he made her feel seen and valued. But she couldn't ignore the nagging voice of caution in her mind, reminding her of the potential consequences of accepting such a gift from a man of his stature and reputation. She felt like if she accepted it, she would delve into a dark abyss where she would be more involved with the mysterious Marquis.

Suddenly, the Marquis stood up from his seat without giving her enough time to properly mull over her decision. She remained in her seat, looking up at the Frenchman with doe eyes of innocence and curiosity as he strode to her side. He then reached out his hand and spoke, "Let me put it on you."

Yn hesitated for a moment, unsure of how to proceed. But the Marquis' persuasive and confident demeanor, along with the allure of the necklace, won her over. She extended her hand and placed it on the open palm the Marquis offered to her, allowing him to guide her to her feet. As she stood before him, she felt a surge of vulnerability coursing through her veins.

He then pulled her gently a few steps away from the table. Once she stood at a spot, he turned her around till she was facing the grand view from the balcony overlooking the city. After grabbing the velvet box on the candlelit table, the Marquis approached her, his fingers delicately grasping the necklace.

He stood behind her, his presence enveloping her in warmth. Yn's heart raced as his fingers lifted her hair, exposing the nape of her neck. Breeze blew softly against her skin, sending shivers down her spine.

The Marquis then fastened the clasp of the necklace, his fingers brushing against her skin in the process and the coolness of the pearls meeting the warmth of Yn's skin. She couldn't help but catch her breath, feeling the weight of the necklace settle around her neck like a shackle.

Yn touched the pearls with her fingertips, feeling the weight of the necklace against her skin. It was undoubtedly a stunning piece, and she couldn't deny the small surge of pleasure it brought her. But alongside that pleasure was a sense of unease, a lingering feeling that accepting this gift would intertwine her fate with the enigmatic Marquis in ways she couldn't fully comprehend.

"Thank you," Yn murmured, her voice barely above a whisper. "It's beautiful. But I don't know if I could accept this."

All of a sudden, she felt large hands grasping her shoulders from behind. She knew without a doubt that it was the Marquis who was still standing behind her. Trepidation coursed through her body, freezing the warm feelings she got from the necklace. She then heard his voice from behind, "Take it. It's a gift, and I want you to always wear it."

Yn could feel his breath on the back of her neck, sending shivers down her spine. The silence was all she could provide him as a reply as she started to tremble in his grip. That was when she felt something press against her bare shoulder, then a smacking noise followed. She did not have to glance over to know that the Marquis was placing kisses there.

Yn's heart raced with fear as the Marquis continued to place kisses on her bare skin. His hands trailed down her arms in a possessive manner, causing her breath to hitch in her throat. She could feel the weight of the necklace around her neck, acting as a physical reminder of the Marquis' hold on her.

His kisses gradually trailed from her shoulder to her neck. He began planting kisses around the area in a slow, methodical manner, his fingers gently caressing her arms in the process. Yn could feel her heart racing, unable to find her voice to speak up. She could only bite her lip and continue to listen to the smacking noises as he began to nibble on her neck.

"Stop..." Yn managed to mutter, her breath hitching in her throat.

But the Marquis was relentless in his assault, his lips continuing to trail down her neck. Suddenly, his hands drifted to her arms and gently grasped them. Instinctively, Yn attempted to pull her arms away and move away from him, but she was met with his unyielding grip around her arms.

"Don't resist," she heard the Marquis murmuring as his lips neared her nape.

Her heart raced, fear coursing through her veins. She could feel his warm breath and his lips against her neck, and she could hear his words in her ear. The adrenaline rush coursed through her body as she tried to push the Marquis away from her.

But it was all in vain. The Marquis was too strong and bigger than she was, and her resistance only aroused him more. Yn could feel his lips moving to the side of her neck, where she felt teeth clamp on her skin. She struggled to free herself from the man's hold, a faint scream escaping her lips.

"Stop!" she raised her voice, still trapped by him, "This is not part of our deal! It's supposed to be just a dinner!"

Suddenly, the Marquis let go of her and he withdrew his head. Yn immediately moved away from him and spun around to face him. Her face contorted with rage, her eyes wide and her lips forming a tight line. Her cheeks flushed red and her fists were clenched as she stared at the Marquis with a look of utter disdain.

The Marquis' face had a look of satisfaction, a smirk playing on his lips as his eyes glazed with lust. His hands were tucked into his pockets as he adjusted his suit and brushed off his jacket. He seemed arrogant and in control with every movement he made. He then met Yn's gaze.

"Ah, our deal," he nodded as his lips curved upside down in amusement for a fleeting moment, "You're right."

Yn stared at him while breathing heavily before she moved to rush past him. She exited the balcony and strode speedily towards the door of the bedroom. She opened the door aggressively, wanting to just leave this building as soon as possible when she halted abruptly in her track.

Chidi was standing in the middle of the doorway, blocking the exit. He stood with his hands grasping one another in front of his body. His eyes were narrowed and his face was solemn as he looked down at Yn, looking completely unsurprised to see her about to rush off. It's as if he had expected her.

The sound of calm footsteps approaching them from behind her made Yn turn around with eyes widening in fear. The Marquis sauntered toward them, his hands still tucked into his pockets, his dark gaze still boring into her. Yn held her breath as she felt completely trapped on the spot despite how huge the mansion was.

"You are forgetting one thing, ma lapine," the Marquis spoke up as he removed his rich red jacket, fully revealing him in the black waistcoat. He then tossed the piece of clothing to the side uncaringly. Then he added to Yn, "The deal is a private dinner with me until I am satisfied. And now..."

He paused to loosen up his necktie from around his neck, and he continued in a dark tone, "I have yet to be satisfied."

Feeling the Marquis' hungry gaze on her, Yn trembled timidly as she looked at the ground. She then scowled at him and said with slight indignation in her tone, "You twist the deal."

"Not at all," answered the Frenchman as he advanced closer to her, "I said exactly that and you agreed. That's our deal, and you haven't fulfilled that part yet. Your friend could still very well be fired now."

Yn frowned in terror and she stared wide-eyed at him. Her heart raced and she felt a chill run down her spine as her blood turned cold. She was so stunned that she couldn't even see the Marquis coming to her and wrapping his arms around her.

He pulled her close to his chest and Yn's heart jumped into her throat at the sudden closeness. The Marquis looked down at her face and the gleam in his eyes seemed to darken. He then leaned in closer to her face and pressed his lips on hers.

His lips were warm and supple. Yn could feel his warm breath on her face and she could smell his scent - a masculine one that smelt of spice and something else that Yn couldn't name. She could feel him, too - his front body against hers, his lips on her own, and his arms encircling her waist.

The feel of his body touching hers overwhelmed her so much that she finally struggled in his embrace. She yelled against his lips, "No! Don't touch me!"

The Marquis responded immediately by clutching her jaw with his hand and pulling her face closer to his. Yn gasped in shock and he took that chance to deepen the kiss, invading her mouth with his tongue, as his other hand traveled her body, caressing her buttocks before it raised up the bottom of her dress.

That's when she heard the door shutting behind her. She thrashed around in his grip and managed to look over her shoulder to see that Chidi had closed the door and left the two of them. Her heart thudded in her ribcage at the sight and she couldn't help but panic.

"Let me go!" she yelled, struggling vehemently and pushing the man away by his chest.

However, she was stunned to silence when the Marquis grabbed her by the jaw forcefully and tugged her close to his face. His rage-filled eyes glared down at her, the shadow projecting over them making them appear even more ominous, as his mouth was in a straight slash with immense contempt.

"You're forgetting the deal," he hissed through his gritted teeth, "But if you want, I could let you go. But I will call Malone and tell him that your precious friend is fired! And since you disobey me, I will cut your earning!"

Yn froze in an instant, her eyes widening like saucers as she stared back at him in absolute disbelief and horror. No. She could not have the money she earned from the casino cut at this moment. Not when she was so close to paying the full amount of her mother's medical bills. Not when her mother's life's on the line. Not when her mother seemed so sick recently.

But she couldn't believe how far the Marquis would go to achieve what he desired. She could see his eyes burning with desire and his grip on her jaw tightened as if to physically make her submit to his whims. One of her hands instinctively grabbed the forearm of the hand that held her jaw. She stared at him wide-eyed with a frown of stupefaction as she pondered.

The Marquis glared down at her before his eyes relaxed due to realization and confusion. He noticed right away how she froze in his grip and how scared she was when he said he would cut her earning. Her reaction intrigued him and he wondered if she took the casino job only for the huge pay she would earn. But for what, he did not know. However, he then knew for sure that his threat about money had a good hold on her.

She was so scared that her hands started to tremble and her vision blurred over. She felt her heart pounding in her chest and her breath became shallow and quick. She felt something wet running down her cheek, but she brushed it off as sweat. That was until the Marquis brought his other hand to her face and gently wiped it with his thumb.

"If you don't want it to be cut," he said, a dark smile on his face, "Then do as I say and it won't be."

Yn shed more tears as she loosened up in his hold. The Marquis noticed this and slowly let her jaw go before he pulled her into his chest, embracing her in a mock show of affection. His arms went around her waist and he pressed the length of her body against his.

"Do not fret," the Marquis said, his mouth beside her ear, "There's no need for tears. I'll be gentle."

She made no move to hug him back as a few more tears rolled down her cheeks as the horrifying predicament of the situation dawned on her. She couldn't let the Marquis do a pay cut to her earning from the casino. She needed the money badly. She had to endure one or two more months to collect the full amount of money to pay her mother's medical bills. Cutting her earning would make the process slower and her mother's life was at stake then.

Plus, the last time she saw her mother, the latter seemed so frail. It's as if death had gotten so close to her this time. If the Marquis cut off her earning and slowed the whole process down, would her mother still be alive?

She couldn't let that happen. She was so close. She couldn't jeopardize it.

Yn then looked up to stare at the smug Frenchman. Her glassy doe eyes gazed at him and she thought: If she gives him what he wants, he would leave her alone, right? He would not chase her around again.

The Marquis was pleased to her staring at him with those eyes. He then gently brushed off her tears with his thumbs and said in a low voice, "Don't fight me on this. It's for tonight only, okay?"

Yn wiped away her tears with her hand and she gave a small nod in response. She was so teary-eyed that she couldn't meet the Marquis' eyes.

The Marquis smirked in victory before he brought her chin up with his hand, leaned in, and kissed her again. This time, Yn didn't struggle like before and she let him kiss her. She shut her eyes and let out a whimper at his soft touch. She felt him pressing her against him as his kisses grew aggressive and impatient.

She felt his hands roam her body as if on their own will. But before long, she felt that gentle touch and the small tingles of his fingers trailing down her arms. She felt a shiver go down her spine when his hands reached down her back and then picked up the bottom of her dress. She was surprised when she felt his hands grope her ass, squeezing and feeling her there, leaving her skin electrified. He did so over and over again until she felt his fingers delve down past her buttocks and rub against her pussy through the panties.

He kissed her so sloppily because he was more focused on his fingers rubbing against her pussy. His tongue had invaded her mouth and dominated hers easily as she gasped at the foreign sensation he did down there.

That's when she felt her panties being moved to the side. For the first time in her life, Yn felt a foreign object rub against the lips of her pussy. She flinched and twitched at the sensation but the Marquis did not relent and he kept rubbing his fingers against her slit, all the while locking his lips with hers incessantly. She was left to lean her whole body fully against his chest as she let out a breathy moan, her tears brimming her eyes as she trembled in his arms.

The Marquis was relentlessly rubbing against her clit and it sent pleasure surging through her body. She was forced to moan into his mouth as she put both of her hands on his chest for something to grip on. She felt a lot of things were happening. Her mouth was thoroughly sucked and dominated by his while her clit was caressed violently by his fingers. She had never felt so suffocated by many sensations, and one thing she could focus on was the nagging pleasure.

She felt her pussy getting wetter by the second. She felt a strange new feeling, one she couldn't describe. A sound that was not human, but rather the primal call of a female, then escaped her lips.

The Marquis picked up the sound and he then continued to lick and suck her lips even more, forcing out more moans from the lady. He felt her whole body shudder in his arms with every move he made, and it was a sight to behold. He lapped at Yn's lips and drank her sweet saliva as he continued toying with her pussy, finding out what gave her the most pleasure.

She knew it was wrong. What he was doing was wrong. She knew she should hate it. But it just felt so amazingly good. The pleasure was getting stronger and stronger and she felt herself getting close to an orgasm. She became tensed in his hold as that sensation got higher and higher. His fingers became swifter too, stubbornly rubbing her pussy and clit with more pressure, and that's when she felt the explosion of a climax.

She moaned lightly as she harshly gripped the Marquis' black waistcoat. Her whole body trembled like leaves due to the orgasm, her mouth was left wide open, giving him easy access to kiss her more fervently. She had subconsciously bent forward, pushing her breasts against his chest as her thighs closed in, leaving his fingers lock against her gushing pussy.

As the climax began to die down, she felt her knees weakening and she was on the verge of collapsing but the Marquis caught her and steadied her. Not only that, he put his hands around her and carried her in bridal style. She was breathing heavily in his arms, her eyes closed, and he stared down at her, enjoying the sight of her flushed face.

She was still coming down from the high of the explosive orgasm when she felt herself being lowered down onto something soft and comfortable. She figured out it was a bed as her hands instinctively grabbed onto the blanket to grip something as she still felt the slowing surge of intense pleasure.

She heard the sound of fabric rustling before something dropped onto the floor. She then felt the straps of her dress on her shoulders being loosened. The dress was pulled down her body, leaving a trail of goosebumps following the trail of the dress. The Marquis pushed the dress down completely and Yn felt it slither off of her body until she lay in only her white lace bra and her plain white panties. She could feel the cold air of the room brush against her exposed skin

She felt the bed shift again as the Marquis got on the bed. Her eyes shot open and she looked towards the source of the movement. She swallowed dryly at the shocking sight. He had gotten rid of his shirt and waistcoat, revealing his upper body fully bare.

He had a strong, muscular physique with distinct chest muscles and a broad, strong back. His abdomen was toned and his arms had visible veins and muscles that rippled as he moves. His skin was smooth, with no blemishes or marks. He had a flat stomach and light six-pack abs that were barely visible against his skin. He had a look of pure lust in his eyes. He stared at Yn's body as if he was going to devour her and it really made her feel naked.

Suddenly, she felt sturdy hands grip her ankles and pull her legs apart. She gripped the blanket tighter as she felt a sudden cool breeze brush against her exposed pussy. She realized that he had just taken off her panties, but she was exhausted and powerless to stop him. She was spread and vulnerable.

The Marquis then went for her bra. He moved his hands underneath her body and unclasped the hook. He then tossed the piece behind him. Her body became exposed to the light of the room. She felt a chill run down her spine as her breasts became exposed to the open air of the room. She felt so shy being naked in front of a man. One she didn't actually know.

He put his hand on each side of her head as he positioned himself in between her legs. She then felt something poking against the entrance of her pussy. Her eyes widened with fear and dread as realization set in. She knew what was going to happen. It was apparently what the Marquis wanted. He had to threaten her to get to this point, and now it was going to be real. She gripped the blanket tighter as she felt the invasion near.

That was when an idea lit up in her head.

“Wait!”

The Marquis was startled by the sudden voice of the girl who had been quiet the whole time. He paused his movements and looked down at her.

Yn knew she could not stop him from this. He would threaten her more and make it clear that he would make her life a miserable one. But she had an idea - one that would at least comfort her inwardly as she spread her legs for him.

She began with a soft and whimpery voice, “Please… After this is done, I want compensation… Because this is too much for me… I don’t do this… I want… All I want is just something to compensate for this…”

Understanding registered in the Marquis�� head. He stared her down as his eyes glimmered with filthy lust that plainly told he was desiring her body. He let out a huge exhale as he queried, "What kind of compensation?"

Yn swallowed dryly before she revealed, "50 thousand dollars. Please. That's all. You can have my body and all I want is just that. If you want, you can... reduce it to 25k... or even 10k."

The Marquis scoffed and he looked like he was about to force himself on her, but Yn was adamant this time. She brought her hands to his cheeks and begged, "Please! This matters so much to me!"

He appeared taken aback by her persistence and the way she held his cheeks in her hands. He regarded her with a long stare and Yn could tell how puzzled he was. She could only hope that he did not question her about it.

However, she was astonished when he let out another sigh before he pursed his lips and said, "Fine. 50 thousand."

Yn was surprised. He thought he would choose to pay her the cheapest amount, but he still went with the highest. It was a lot of money, especially for her who was very much poor. She smiled in relief, but then her smile dropped instantaneously as she felt it.

The Marquis' cock rubbed against the entrance of her wet pussy. She was still extremely tight and he could feel her resisting the slight tightness. He slid his cock upwards, sliding it against her sensitive clit. Yn felt like she was going to die from the pleasure that shot up her body. She whimpered as she felt her clit being rubbed by his cock, and she felt like she was going to explode.

She heard the Marquis say as he leaned closer to her ear, "I'm going to fuck you senseless."

She shivered at those words as she felt him push his cock back downwards, rubbing it against her entrance before pushing it in.

She felt her insides being forced to stretch and fit over his girth, which wasn't a small one. Her eyes widened and her mouth opened in a silent scream as he slowly slid his cock into her. She felt her pussy being stretched to the limit, and she felt like she was going to tear soon. The pain was unbearable as he pushed his cock further into her.

She felt like he was tearing her apart and because of the pain, her hands shot up to push against his bare chest. She cried out, "Stop! It hurts!"

The Marquis just looked at her and smirked, "You are full of surprises, ma lapine. You are a virgin."

Yn tried to glare at him but moaned in pain as she did so. Tears began to brim in her eyes as she felt him thrust his cock in deeper. She felt like her insides were going to be torn apart. She let out a cry of pain as she felt her pussy being stretched further to fit his length. She felt like she was about to split open. She felt the Marquis' hands dig into her hips as he pushed more and more of his member inside her until it reached the hilt.

He moaned in pleasure as her tight pussy was wrapped around his penis. He looked down at her expression and saw that one tear had rolled down her cheek. She looked tired and helpless beneath him as her pussy hugged his cock perfectly. He leaned down and licked the teardrop shamelessly.

The pain continued to pierce through Yn's body. She was whimpering, her eyes closing and her teeth sinking into her lower lip. Her hands had stopped pushing against his chest and she laid them down next to her shoulders. She looked up and realized that their missionary position forced her to stare directly at him. She quickly averted her gaze and looked to the side, not wanting to look at him as he got what he wanted.

She felt his cock twitch and jerk as he leaned closer to her. She looked back up to see him staring down at her with a hungry expression. He began to fuck her like that, deep and slow, taking his time in enjoying the tightness of her pussy. He was thrusting in and out of her extremely slowly, savoring the feeling of her tight cunt around his girth. It was a slow rhythm and he seemed to love the feeling of her tight cunt around his cock.

He groaned in pleasure as her face contorted in pain. Her mouth was opened in a silent scream, and her head was moving back and forth upon each thrust. Her hands lay limply upon the bed as she lay there, taking his thrusts. She felt him pulling her against him with each thrust as he began to pick up his speed bit by bit.

Tears rolled down her cheeks as she continued to whimper in pain. She felt like she was being split in two, and the pain was excruciating.

The Marquis just continued to fuck her, thrusting into her as he leaned down and began to lick and suck on her breasts. His tongue licked over her nipples, gently stimulating them as they hardened. He sucked on them and played with them as he continued to thrust into her in a rhythm that gradually sped up.

Yn let out a loud moan as she felt him continue to trace licking over her nipples. They were hardening under his touch and she was beginning to feel pleasure from his tongue. It felt like the Marquis was doing this to purposefully drive her insane. He continued to toy with her nipples with his mouth.

Her pussy tightened even more as that pleasure from her breasts flowed through her body. She moaned lightly as she experienced a mixture of pain and pleasure. She felt overwhelmed by a lot of mixed sensations. It was like pain and pleasure combining into this toxic liquid that surged throughout her body and she couldn't think clearly. She felt like she wanted to take it or run.

The Marquis was groaning in pleasure as he felt the incredible tightness of her pussy. He was driving himself crazy with the pleasure that her pussy provided.

He was patient. Patient enough. He had taken his time to make her his, and now that she was here beneath him, he was going to enjoy it. He was going to fuck her senseless until all she could do was moan. He continued to thrust deep into her pussy, his hips pumping against her soft ass. He thrust forward and pulled out, stretching her pussy with his girth and length. He pushed himself in and out of her, rotating his hips and thrusting strongly into her.

Eventually, his pace became harder and faster. Yn gasped and moaned as he began to thrust in rougher. He raised his upper body, his hands grasped tightly onto her hips and he controlled her hips to his liking. He was pounding into her with force and vigor, and both of their bodies were colliding together. Her pussy felt like it was on fire with the rough fucking he was giving her.

Yn was moaning and staring up at him in shock. She felt it. The tip of his cock rammed against the entrance of her womb repeatedly. It sort of hurt yet pleasurable at the same time. He was filling her up, his cock throbbing within her as he fucked her fast. She could feel his heartbeat inside her and it was racing just as fast as she.

Yn watched as his body glistened with sweat, his muscles flexing and his chest rising and falling rapidly. He was fucking her with so much force, so much strength. His large hands held her hips tightly as he slammed into her with ferocity. She felt him pounding his cock into her, his hips colliding with her ass, and her legs around his waist swinging wildly in the air following his movements. He was taking her hard like she was his fucktoy.

She felt his cock hitting the entrance of her womb as he continued to pound into her. She moaned in pleasure despite the mixture of pain and pleasure. She was sweating under him, her pussy walls tightening around his cock as he continued to plow her.

The Marquis was a powerful figure, his body slick with sweat, muscle tensing and bulging as he thrust and pounded into her. His hands grasped fiercely onto her hips, controlling her movements as he dominated her. His hips moved in a rapid rhythm, ramming into her rear with pummeling energy that sent shockwaves of pleasure throughout her body.

There was a mix of pheromones in the air, a musky scent of aroused bodies entwined that filled the room. Yn could smell his sweat, mixed with her own as they moved together and heated up the atmosphere around them.

His grunting and moaning matched hers as they collided together, their genitals slapping together like thunder amidst a violent storm. His breaths were labored as he pushed himself harder, the sound of skin slapping against skin overlapping with his grunts and hers.

Yn bounced up and down the bed as her breasts and the necklace swung wildly with her motion. She moaned, at this point, the pain had subsided as if her pussy had gotten used to the stretch and the violent thrusts of the cock inside her. Her hand was gripping the sheet hard on each side of her head. The way she looked beneath him was exquisite to the Marquis as she let him violate her like a toy.

That's when she realized that he was watching her. He leaned down, placing each forearm of his on each side of her head, and kissed her, thrusting his tongue into her mouth. Yn moaned as his tongue dominated her from the inside. She swore she felt her eyes roll up in pleasure and suffocation upon feeling the Marquis ravish her in two ways - through her wet pussy and her mouth.

He was pounding her pussy roughly in a mating press. Her legs were pressed against her chest by him as he towered over her directly, slamming his cock inside her relentlessly. She moaned with his tongue inside her mouth as she felt his cock pounding against her G-spot, sending pleasurable shocks across her body again and again. She could almost feel his cock throbbing with a rapid beat within her.

The Marquis felt her pussy tighten around his cock, knowing she was nearing her climax. For Yn, it was all too much for her as she felt her body heating up even more. She couldn't take it anymore and she felt a burst of pleasure build up within her body, her gushing pussy walls gripping his cock tightly.

She suddenly tensed up in the mating press, her moans were muffled by his mouth and tongue, as she climaxed beneath him. Her pussy clenched tightly around his cock over and over again.

However, the Marquis did not stop there, despite knowing she was orgasming within his hold, as he continued to ram his cock into her with brutal force. Yn was dumbfounded that he wasn't stopping and she felt so overstimulated and oversensitive since she was still climaxing.

She cried out as she struggled beneath him, attempting to dislodge his cock and flee from the mating press she was pushed in, "Stop! Pull out! I'm still...!"

But the Marquis did not stop. He ignored her cries as he continued to fuck her with force as she thrashed and cried beneath him. He felt the grip of her pussy tighten around his cock, feeling her vagina squirt juices all over his shaft and balls as her cunt continued to spasm and convulse around his cock. He smirked and continued to fuck her, knowing full well about the explosions her female body could muster.

His cock continued to pound against her G-spot, overloading her senses and overwhelming her mind. It almost felt like she was on the verge of passing out from all the pleasure and pain in her body. She kept struggling in vain to get him off her, but he was too strong, her body was weak and feeble compared to his.

That's when she experienced her second orgasm, a powerful and strong wave of bliss and pleasure coursed through her body, exploding from her pussy and spreading throughout her entire body. She screamed and her eyes were rolling up as she experienced a powerful one. Her body was trembling and twitching under the Marquis' hold. Her pussy spasmed tightly around his cock with such intensity and power that she swore she saw stars.

But the Marquis wasn't done yet. He fucked her with her pussy juices lubricating his cock, thrusting deeper and harder into her with each thrust. His cock was overstimulated by her second orgasm and she felt the man's cock twitch and pulse clearly inside her pussy walls.

Despite the hazy cloud of the climax, the realization fell upon her like bricks as she understood what was going to happen soon. She immediately yelled, pushing against his chest yet again, "Pull out! Don't cum inside!"

But all her attempts at fighting him were in vain. He was too strong and she was too weak. He didn't stop or pull out despite her pleas and cries as he continued pounding his cock into her harshly. She weakly tried to push against his chest while feeling the way his cock rammed in and out of her squelching pussy.

The Marquis grabbed the hands that were attempting to push him and pinned them against the bed on each side of her head, rendering her helpless. She weakly struggled, but he ignored her and slammed his cock against her g-spot. His grip on her wrists was too tight and she was too weak to fight him.

Suddenly, the Marquis slammed hard and stopped deep within her. He groaned loudly as he pressed more into her. That's when she felt it. Yn cried out; her entire body shaking as he climaxed within her. His cock twitched and pulsed as he shot his seed into her womb. She felt the hot seed coat her womb and fill her like hot water filled a glass.

She cried out in despair as she felt his seed fill her completely. Her pussy spasmed around his cock as her body continued to convulse as she was still climaxing. She didn't know why she was still climaxing, but she felt like her entire body was on fire and she was filled with ecstasy.

"No!" she cried out, "No! Pull out! Pull out! Please!"

But that only spurred the Marquis on. He groaned again, this time releasing her wrists and gripping her hips tightly, pulling her deep against him as he emptied his hot seed deep within her womb. He grunted as he continued to come in her warm and tight pussy. He filled her pussy up to the brim and kept shooting into her.

She felt his hot cum fill her pussy, gushing into her and painting her womb white. The male finally stopped cumming after a few more shots within her. He pushed himself off her with his cock still firmly embedded within her pussy. He sat in between her legs and looked at the woman he had taken. He looked at her with a sinister and satisfied smile.

She turned her head away from him and felt tears building up in her eyes. She clenched her pussy tightly around his cock in an attempt to get him to pull out. But the Marquis gripped her thighs tightly, still embedded deeply in her pussy, keeping her legs spread. It's like he was keeping his cum inside her.

He finally pulled out after a long time with a loud wet noise, leaving her gaping pussy open and exposed. Her legs remained spread wide before him. He smirked as he took in the sight of her trembling pussy, still twitching gently. Soon enough, his sperm dribbled out of her hole. Her pussy and her inner thighs were coated with blood since he had plucked her virginity. Her juices were also dripping out of her used pussy, a mixture of hers and his seed.

Yn trembled, her body still convulsing lightly as she was still coming down from her climax. She glanced to see that the Frenchman was still gazing at her abused pussy and she looked away, feeling humiliated enough. She did not see that the Marquis was stroking his drenched cock.

She looked to the side, looking at a window that revealed how dark it was outside. She began to wonder what time it was and remembered about Sydney. She thought about that little girl being taken care of by Barbara at the moment and she should come home by then.

She was about to get up and search for her dress when the Marquis suddenly turned her around in bed. She was on her stomach when she made a noise of confusion. The man behind then mounted on her thighs, leaned on her ear, and said huskily, "We are not done yet."

She gasped as she felt his warm flesh pressed up against her rear, feeling his hot cock head pushing against her pussy again. He was still hard as he pushed his cock head against her womanhood. She moaned in protest and tried to move away.

He managed to enter her wet and warm pussy again before he plunged in deep. Yn tried to push herself up with her arms but he leaned into her, holding her down with his body weight. The Marquis moved to her ear and whispered, "I'm not satisfied with you yet."

He simply held her down by the hips and started to thrust into her wet pussy. The mix of his semen and her juices served as a lubricant for his cock and thus creating squelching noises each time he thrust in.

He continued to pound into her as he placed his hands on her waist, controlling her movements to his liking again as he fucked her. He grunted in satisfaction, his balls slapping against her cum-filled pussy as he used her.

Yn, on the other hand, could only lie there helplessly, her eyes closed as she tried to cope with the pleasure and the pain. She was still feeling slightly sensitive from her last orgasm and his large cock was continuing to inch into her sore pussy. She gasped a few times as he continued to slam into her, bending her body over the bed.

She cried out and groaned as he continued to thrust into her helpless and abused pussy. She could feel his cock slam against her cervix and hit that sensitive area within her body. The semen inside her was sloshing around his invasive cock. Her pussy was sore, but somehow the Marquis was still able to build up an orgasm for her.

The Marquis suddenly stopped and pulled out completely. Yn was about to look over her shoulder when he grasped her hips and lifted it up with his strength until her knees held themselves on the bed. Yn was left in the position where his upper body fully rested upon the sheet while her butt was raised in the air.

The man behind her then held her hips and rammed his cock back inside. Yn gasped from the intrusion as she felt his balls slapping against her again. He started ramming himself into her with deep and fast thrusts and she could feel his cock pushing against her cum-filled womb with each thrust. She felt her cunt stretch to the limit as his large cock kept slamming into her.

Her moans and his grunts ricocheted off the walls of the room, punctuated by the wet squelching of their juices and the slapping sound of his flesh against hers. His deep and fast thrusts reverberated through her body, every movement sending pleasure and pain mixed together in a potent cocktail. There were no pauses, just an unstoppable rhythm as she felt herself being pushed ever closer to the edge as he fucked and used her like she was his cum-dumpster.

She could feel his cock slam against her cervix repeatedly again and it wasn't even a minute when she felt an orgasm building up in her pussy. She cried out in pleasure and tried to escape but the Marquis held her down tightly.

"No! P-Please! No!" she screamed as she was pinned to the bed by one of his hands on her back.

The Marquis groaned and pounded into her again and again as he felt her pussy tighten around his cock. Yn screamed into the sheets as another orgasm exploded from her bottom, causing her to tremble violently beneath him. Her pussy lips were spread open due to the deep thrusts and she could feel her juices squirting out, drenching his cock and crotch.

Her orgasm seemed to spur him on as he thrust even harder. He finally let out a loud groan and came again as he continued to thrust into her, albeit this time sloppily. His cock was pulsing inside her with his orgasm as he delivered a few final thrusts into her vagina. His cum flooded her even more than before as most of his semen from the previous round was still inside her.

The Marquis continued to pin her on the bed until they were both spent and exhausted. Soon enough, he pulled out of her flooded pussy and she felt a gush of cum flowing from her abused pussy. She could feel it running down her thighs and for her, it felt so sinful. She had never thought she would lose her virginity like this - so violent yet pleasurable.

Feeling utterly exhausted, her knees collapsed and she dropped her hips onto the bed, the motion caused the juices inside her to spill more onto her inner thigh and bedsheet. That's when she felt hands pulling her. The Marquis, who was lying on the bed next to her, grabbed her closer to his chest, his arms wrapped around her waist and her head was tucked under his chin. The both of them were facing one another and both were completely worn out and sleepy.

"Vincent..."

Yn forced her eyes open, staring at the skin on his neck, and wondered what he meant by that.

As if sensing her bewilderment despite not looking at her face, he drawled out more with his eyes closed, "Vincent Bisset de Gramont... my name..."

Yn did not respond as she stared ahead into space. She wanted nothing more than to get up and run off, but after having two rounds of being fucked like a breeding toy, she also wanted to sleep right then and there. She was still feeling the effects of her multiple orgasms and she wondered if she'll ever be able to walk again.

But, she thought: If the Marquis honor her words and give her 50 thousand dollars as promised, then she would have more than enough money to pay for her mother's hospital treatments. The remaining money would be saved and used for her family's future.

She could finally quit her job at the casino after this and never have to lay eyes on the Marquis again.

PREV : Chapter 03

NEXT : Chapter 05

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[gingergofastboatsmojito]

Michael Berzatto is immortal

Being the eldest and Donna's favest, came with a price.

He paid with his own life.

In a sense, Michael always tried to shield his 2 younger siblings from the liabilities of being a Berzatto.

That's why he was their "best friend". Because his life mission was protecting/shielding the two cubs, from the enemies.

Whether that meant trying to protect them - to the best of his abilities- from Donna herself, from the pressure of handling the family business that was always about to go under, never really thriving, from themselves and their own shortcomings, etc... He took the blows so his siblings didn't have to. -They did anyway, but he tried to prevent that-.

Pushing his baby brother away -even when Carmy didn't see it or feel it that way- was his way to protect him and set him free so he could realize his full potential, which Mickey knew was never gonna happen if Carmy was confined within The Beef's kitchen making sandwiches.

And among probably a million other stuff his role entailed:

Being always Sugar's airbag when her savior complex got the better of her and exposed her to Donna's wrath.

Being the one who picked up the pieces of, or tried to mend, all the broken relationships in the family, such as Donna's failed marriage, and the toxic mother-daughter relationship Donna and Sugar had all the time.

Being Carmy's best friend because otherwise he wouldn't have any.

IMO in essence that's why Michael ended up killing himself: always trying to be everyone's best friend, or in other words "The Shield".

He was "hilarious". Aha, yeah right. Tell me more...

He carried all that pain inside

Mikey wouldn't express it because that would have been detrimental to the role he felt he had to play in the family. IDK to what extent that role was self-imposed or actually assigned by others at a fairly young age, when he didn't know better, or couldn't fight back, anyhow, he eventually ended up buying fully into it. And one way or the other the result was the same: The cumulative effect of always being the shield was what ended up killing him.

The bullet was just the consequence, but his role was the actual cause of that pain and ultimately his death. A role he could never break free from because he chose the addiction path, or fell into it. But the point is that because of that he couldn't break that cycle he was trapped in of being the scapegoat and in a sense the martyr of the clan.

Canonically the reason for Michael's death was never disclosed, we just know for a fact that he left no suicide letter explaining his motives, but he did leave a note for Carmy, to make sure he knew he loved him (yes, I have a lump in my throat as I type this, moving on) and enough encoded info for him to find the money and hopefully save the place.

My HC is that that was precisely the last straw for Mikey. He couldn't take the guilt of knowing or thinking that he was gonna lose the family business. He couldn't even afford napkins FFS!. He couldn't take the pain and guilt of not being able to fulfill his role this time around. He couldn't take that, which he experienced as a failure and he couldn't forgive himself for that. So he checked himself out, permanently.

My other HC about his death is: Had he received the help he needed, he probably would have been a survivor by now. It breaks my heart.

That's what I want for Carmy soooo bad. I don't want him to follow in the footsteps of his brother, because when Carmy received his inheritance it wasn't just a restaurant and a debt he couldn't afford. It was more than that. It was THE RESPONSIBILITY to succeed where his hero brother had failed. That's how he took it.

And that's a very heavy burden for anyone, especially for someone as mentally "compromised" as Carmy.

Now, as far as I'm concerned, that stopped being a "burden" when Syd came into his life.

She INSPIRED HIM to get better, to turn that place around and make it better, to elevate it and in that way honor his brother's legacy.

It stopped being a heavy burden for him, that could ruin him as it did to Mikey because Syd gave him purpose and he didn't have to carry it all by himself anymore, he had her, and Sugar.

The BEEF had broken that family apart and THE BEAR, the restaurant he wanted to share with Syd, brought it back together.

It's important to notice that Syd was the one who brought Nat on board, not Carm. He accepted that, of course, but he only offered The Bear to Syd. Not to his sister.

Back to Michael: By being the SHIELD for years and focusing on the restaurant that was constantly diving, staying in the family home living under the same roof as Donna, being everyone's best friend, cutting Carmy off cold so he could fly away and be who he had the potential of being, he also allowed Sugar to make her own way away from home, which eventually led her to Pete with whom she raised the beautiful family she never had.

And in a final leap of faith, Mikey left the restaurant and the $ to Carmy trusting he was gonna succeed at what he had failed. And also trusting that Sugar was doing that too, family-wise.

I don't think Michael knew or even expected that by doing that he was gonna bring the family back together like he did, he just meant to inherit the business to Carmy, knowing Sugar had her part covered, in his mind she was fine because she had Pete.

But ultimately his legacy is what brought the two siblings back together, so the family was no longer broken, and then what Carmy decided to do with the money was going to determine if he could save the business or not, but he passed along that torch to Carm because he couldn't fulfill that "obligation" he felt he had. The rest is history.

Carmy, on the other side of the story, experienced this act of sacrifice as some sort of punishment, he probably thought his brother, his best friend, hated him and could only move on from that mindset when he started dreaming of The Bear with Syd.

Before her, his dream was intrinsically intertwined with Mikey, his best friend. He didn't give a flying fuck about the restaurant, he just wanted to reconnect with Mikey through food, as he had always done throughout his life, he wanted that back.

Carmy didn't care about the family business, he cared about Michael.

But Mikey, who had taken responsibility for the family business, did care. Way too much, in fact. He had to be the strong one for too long so Carmy and Sugar could be free. And that ended up killing him when he felt he couldn't live up to that responsibility.

In an extremely dark parallelism, Carmy's mental space, which we got to see in S1, was the exact same that Michael had:

Both, as a result of trauma/addiction.

For Carmy, it was always about the people. Even when he pretended it wasn't:

Then came the star, her dream.

Now, looking at the glass half full:

IMO Michael did succeed though.

Because now we see that Natalie is raising a happy/healthy family and that Carmy has the restaurant and he has Syd. It doesn't matter what it looks like now. This story is not over.

Carmy has Syd and Syd has Carmy and at some point, they won't look like the Syd and the Carmy we saw in S3, this is just a transition to something better, after they learn all the lessons they have to learn and make each other better at this.

In his own very atypical way, via The Bear, Carmy is also raising his own family. For now, he is repeating the same pattern he learned from Donna → the only family he ever knew.

But he's also raising a happy family, he just doesn't know it yet. He will find out at some point, and get a star in the process, for her. Not for the star itself. Because Sydney is his purpose.

Sydney is what Michael lacked. He just had "the burden".

But with Syd's and Natalie's help and the whole found family Carmy has formed at The Bear, he will turn that dumpster he inherited into a Michelin star place for her. And by doing this he will be elevating and "healing" Michael's legacy.

What was about to disappear under Michael's rule, will thrive under Carmy's and Sydney's. It's already thriving, actually.

And therefore, both Carmy and Sugar will end up happily ever after, they’ll do it together, so all in all, Michael will succeed. All he wanted was for his siblings to be happy and to live their dreams. And he, in a sense, died for it.

He didn't die in vain.

That's why the show started with his death and it will end honoring his memory. Full circle. I'm sure.

Remember to follow my tag #Gingerpovs 💋

[invisiblerambler]

This is Not a Finished Thought

I came across this concept in something else that I was consuming and I couldn't help but apply it to the ways in which the Bearzatto siblings interact with each other and other people but also the way that Sydney interacts mostly with Carmy as well.

It's pretty well accepted that Donna is to some degree a narcissist. This is an accepted trait of a lot of addicts and specifically alcoholics so I don't really feel like I need to rehash that here.

The thing that was new to me was the concept of echosism and the way that narcissism and echoism exist almost as different ends of the same spectrum.

I think the Bearzatto siblings and Sydney to a lesser degree exhibit traits of echoism.

Echoism was first discussed by Craig Malkin in his book "Rethinking Narcissism."

Essentially it comes from someone who has a lack of healthy narcissism and they are in many ways selfless to a fault (sound like anyone we know.) The Bearzatto siblings all had their own ways of sacrificing and self-punishing because of their mother's narcissism.

And when Carmy injected his own need to get away from the family and away from Chicago he was ridiculed for it because he was inserting his own needs.

People with high levels of echoism might:

fear praise

actively reject attention

make every effort to avoid burdening others

focus on meeting the needs of others to avoid considering their own

believe going along with what others want will help safeguard their affection

have difficulty creating boundaries or asserting needs

believe expressing opinions or needs may lead to a loss of love

take on a lot of self-blame and criticize themselves regularly

have trouble recognizing likes and dislikes

avoid coming across as attention-seeking or selfish at all costs

ask very little of others

have high empathy

Since people who tend more toward narcissism have a strong need for admiration and recognition, they can often end up in relationships with people with echoism.

This section from Healthline (the best source I could find without reading an entire book)

mirrors a lot of the traits we see from the Bearzatto family.

Richie even calls Carmy Donna not realizing that none of what Carmy is doing is for him, it's all for Sydney.

This realization of Carmy's behavior to me also unlocks why he would be so willing to go along with and actively participate in his relationship with Claire.

By being in that relationship he fulfills something for both other members of his family and Claire, once again supplanting his own needs.

The examples of Sugar and Mikey doing this feel almost too obvious to point out, but I'll give a few that immediately come to mind anyway.

For Mikey, it was keeping Carm away from the restaurant. He basically says as much in Napkins. He wanted to keep Carmy safe from that environment of The Beef and also give him the confidence to finally assert his own needs, as he does when he leaves Chicago, works at Ever etc.

For Sugar, she spells it out plainly in Ice Chips. She asks everyone if they're okay all the time, if someone feels sick she starts to feel sick. It's big eldest daughter syndrome, but it's also her constantly replacing her needs with the needs of everyone else around her. We see Richie at multiple points in S2 and S3 making sure Nat's needs are met when she tries to bury them.

Now, the Sydney thing might feel less obvious, but to me it's like her and Carmy are both Echoists and it's why they can never talk to each other. They are constantly giving of their own needs for the other person without realizing it isn't even what they want. It's why they talk past each other for the entirety of S3.

Echoists will also have moments where they feel need panic another concept from Dr. Malkin. Where they go from not needing anyone or anything to needing everything immediately. I think the end of S2 and S3 are mirrored moments of need panic for Carmy and Syd.

Carmy in the freezer realizes that he allowed himself to have a need for amusement and enjoyment and reacts when he leaves the freezer by doubling down on suppressing that need. He also suppresses his need for other people within the restaurant. He shouldn't need other people to achieve greatness, despite how collective a good restaurant is (i.e. Ever) Carmy has internalized that the most successful kitchens are driven by one person. There's also a lot of grief stuff tied up in here too, which Carmy acknowledges when he says he didn't grieve Michael.

Sydney has a similar moment of need panic. Her needs are more literal and in some ways more immediate, she needs to tell Carmy about the offer from Shapiro, she needs to tell him that if they can't have true partnership and he continues to emulate the bad behavior he has seen elsewhere she can't stay.

Sydney spent the entire season making sure her needs were kept far away from everyone, until she in a literal moment of panic realizes suppressing those needs is not an option anymore.

I want to end this by saying I am no means an expert on this and I fully plan on reading Dr. Malkin's book mostly for my own benefit, but when I heard about this concept it was an interesting idea to ponder how two people in a partnership who have both clearly in some way been in close relationships with people who display narcissistic tendencies and how that actually plays out, Carmy appearing to be a narcissist while actually suppressing any needs he has with the utmost consideration for others, (Sydney.)

I'd love to get feedback on this and whether or not I'm completely alone in this analysis.

[poppytuft]

the bear s3 spoilers

below the cut! thinking about claire and stuff we saw this season re: carmy/syd/the restaurant/donna, just finished the season so itll be a mess and also im comin in way too hot on this so my bad

sometimes...... sometimes i believe you guys are all watching different tv. im not sure how this season didnt feel like a direct through line from s2?? and im not sure WHY everyone is SO MAD about claire LITERALLY "haunting" this season. girl. come on. we need to have a sit down talk about how the berzatto generational trauma is the real meat of this show (this will make sense, just trust me). thats the MAIN EMOTIONAL POINT. syd's relationship with her dad, marcus and his mom, richie and evie, even tina and louie are all examples of parental relationships that are tender, sweet, supportive, etc. these are INTENTIONAL!! by creating these relationships we see PLAINLY how fucked donna is and how much she fucked up all of these kids. thats why "ice chips" was such a FANTASTIC episode. there was SO MUCH unpacked, so much revealed, so much worked through with sugar and her but at the end of the day she's still learning how to unlearn all of this horrific narcissistic bullshit. SHES STILL UNLEARNING THOUGH. thats where fucking DONNA of all people sits right now——somehow, she's learning how to heal. EVERYONE IS LEARNING. that's also what is so important about that episode.

now lets look at carmy. in "ice chips" we are LITERALLY told about how each berzatto is born: mikey fighting against the idea of being alive at all, nat into a quiet, soothing room, and CARMY is fucking born into EVERYONE SCREAMING and ARGUING and FIGHTING. we are BLATANTLY told that all carmy has ever known is HELL and all he's ever known how to communicate is through exploding. this is so violently against what we also know about his personality from childhood in "fishes" (anxious growing up, arts-oriented, had a hard time making friends). now, he works a violently stressful job, processing the trauma from both his mother (and chef fields [joel mchale], realistically) through the high-stress environment.

NOW. ENTER CLAIRE.

HOW is she not fascinating to you all. we don't see her whole story (because the bear, duh) but we are given just enough pieces here to put together that her story runs parallel to carmy's. how are you not getting this. walk with me.

claire. glasses, nerdy, quiet, sweet, girl next door. family friend! cute, but considered mid for a long time by everyone at school, but suddenly the berzatto men all badger carm, "oh she got a glow up, oh shes looking for you, she wants to see you," etc etc etc. what happened in between?

she finds herself. she finds the stressful thing she LOVES, which is the hospital. her job is objectively more stressful than carmy's (illustrated by that scene earlier in the season but i forgot the episode, where claire talks about the girl who got her shit wrecked by the glass table), and while we don't have an exact understanding of what her home life was like, we understand that her and carmy both have a level of internal anxiety that thrives on the stress of their careers. HOWEVER, claire does it because she loves it. carmy just doesn't know how to stop.

this is what makes claire feel like "peace" to carmy——because her high-stress job is a choice, an active choice she is making because it fulfills her. it's not to prove her dead brother wrong, or to honor his own legacy, or to prove that dickbag boss wrong, or to leave a mark on the world, or to make her own life worthwhile, or to prove that she doesn't need anyone else. she genuinely enjoys helping people even when the days are stressful, or scary. he's obsessed with this. he wants to know how she does this. every day she leaves that stress at home——and he wants to learn how to do that too.

claire is VITAL to this season and to understanding carmy's stress——and how far back he is in his healing process. it should only become more and more apparent, as we see characters like tina (the beef/the bear became vital to her success/development as a chef AND person, both for the people AND her love of food), marcus (not hiding his grief, but using it to help rationalize how much his mother loved him and wanted to be surrounded by people that love him), and richie (finding a purpose through service/expo and understanding he can start over again) push through their own traumas and struggles to become better people. if donna can be not only present at sugar's bedside during labor, but WELCOMED at this point in the show, it makes carmy's inability to heal all the more present. claire is an important part of this puzzle: she helps us see a window into a world where carmy is balanced emotionally, but unbalanced professionally, because he has no idea how to make the two coexist.

however, the idea that he can be balanced emotionally at all is so fucking enticing——with the help of someone who experiences stress in the same way as him (and who is familiar with his familial trauma), he has the opportunity to grow up and move on from his family trauma and wounds perpetuated by the industry he works in.

on the flip side of this....... his inability to process any of this is starting to impact syd. and frankly, that's some bullshit. his lack of communication, inability to community build/trust ANYONE, and his violent stubbornness is pushing her into the same space that he was in under chef fields, in a much slower, more subtle manner, and for slightly different reasons. her panic attack at the end of the season could read in two directions to me: her stress over the responsibility of changing so many people's lives has boiled over once she remembered that the beef once was truly great (hey five star review on the fridge!), OR, she realizes how much she isn't in it for the food. fuck a Michelin star: she wants to cook with her family. chef terry says at the end of "forever", in the garage with carmy, that she's so grateful she got to do whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted, where she wanted, with the people she wanted to do it with. sydney is so close to having those things at the bear——but carmy's dysfunction is keeping it just out of arms reach. the two of them are now on opposite sides of the approach from last season: syd dying for a star, and carmy dying to cook for the woman he loved. now, carmy is hungy for recognition again, desperate to prove something, and sydney is remembering (thanks to the conversation with other chefs during the ever funeral service) why she loved cooking in the first place. so this leaves us to wonder: should she stick it out? for the people? or make something of herself? is she carmy, or is she terry? i guess we will just have to see.

all this to say: every character is connected. the bear is a show about family, found and blood, and the choices we make for, with, and because of the people we love, for better or for worse. food is only the center of it, because it's the center of all of our lives. you can't hate claire without understanding where she sits in the web of the berzatto family. and really, you can't hate her if you understand what her presence means for carmy, for syd, and the restaurant as a whole.

[giftedpoison]

Rewatching The Bear before the new season.

And the christmas episode is getting to me hella.

I want to give Mikey the biggest fucking hug in the world. The conversation between him and Carmy and Carmy gives him a gift that's a concept of their restaurant "The Bear" and I'm just realizing he didn't want to run a restaurant with his little brother not because he had anything against Carmy but because he didn't want his little brother to realize that he'd been running his restaurant completely illegally and how deep in addiction he was and how much that he was just not good enough for his little brother and he didn't want to crush that illusion because it would kill him.

And then at the table when he throws the fork at Lee. Multiple times. And Lee is going on and on about how much of a loser Mikey is and how Unc should have never given him the money or continued giving him money.

And I can't stop thinking about how it parallels Richie's current state in present day The Bear prior to this ep. (I'm still mad Syd never apologized to him for her part in their dispute where she was telling him how much of a loser he is and how no one cares about him. Like yes Syd needed an apology too but that doesn't mean Riche didn't deserve one either- unless that happens later. Although the fact she didn't really speaks to how it was considered acceptable things to say to him because a lot of people at the restaurant continously treat him like he is worthless and doesn't add anything. Which is because at this point he kind of doesn't but no one sees anything in him either. Because he isn't a cook and he's resistant to change because he is so scared he is going to be left behind.)

And I just think about how Richie's life could have ended up like Mikey's with the end, if it wasn't for the fact he eventually found the thing tm that he could do and well and realized he wasn't as worthless as everyone around him thought and as he thought of himself.

Anyway Richie's my favorite character solely because I adore his arc. And also because when I watched him start learning at that fancy restaurant (i only have vague memories forgive me) I realized I want to do what he's doing although not in a restaurant

It's the always feeling like your on the outskirts of something great but you can't or don't actually want to be like the superstars. The great cooks the great pastry chefs the project manager. You can't do any of that and you feel so fucking worthless because the high of it all is something that means something to you. And then you finally find your place, and you're just like oh shit I'm doing this. I didn't even know this was a possibility I thought I would be folding sandwiches forever. No one told me this was a way to touch the world i love so much. And have a positive impact on the world in a way that makes me feel fulfilled and important at the end of the day and not a fuck up wasting away.

[bodycountgame]

ROs on a list of dom-switch-sub

i have answered this before (i would link it but tumblr mobile is victimising me personally!!) but i always find these categories a bit limiting so here is some more info under the cut xoxo

adegoke: really depends on his partner, but pretty adventurous and would try anything once. he would appreciate a healthy level of variety.  

arthur: definitely leans more dominant, the idea of not being in control is very uncomfortable for him. 

atticus: look. listen. atticus definitely leans dom, that’s his only really experience to date, but i do think that if he was with a partner that helped him experiment with being a bit submissive that it would truly blow his mind.

avery: largely depends on her partner, but i think her natural inclination would be to be more submissive. she's so in control is every other arena of her life that i think she would really value someone else taking the lead. 

charlie: honestly if someone gets charlie in the bedroom and are like hey what are you into he’s just like yes. they’re like charlie are you a dom or a sub and he’s like yeah! truly just a happy to be there king (so probably more submissive lol) 

ellis: wants to be verbally dominant, physically submissive. they wanna get railed but best believe they’re gonna be providing detailed instructions for how best to go about it yk

florrie: sort of opposite to ellis - florrie can rag people around but she'll be a bit shy about it hahaha. like you'll get slapped, but she'll look coy as she does it. 

griffin: leans more submissive for sure, benefits from clear instruction hahaha. 

imogen: total sub! nervous about trying new things - she needs a lot of praise and encouragement. 

nyra: nyras focus is on safety and comfort, so she very much prefers to be in control until there's a really solid foundation of trust. 

rowan: come first by terror jr is basically her ethos lol, rowan is v invested in her own pleasure. especially in short term partnerships she is happy to fulfil any role as long as she is thoroughly satisfied, and will absolutely change it up if it seems like she might not be. 

syd: dom for sure. like they're down for whatever, probably the most adventurous of the characters, but even when it seems like they are not running shit they are almost definitely still running shit you know??

vinh: it should be noted that vinh is demisexual and tbh i don't think we're gonna see any nsfw scenes from them in BC simply because we do not have the time! but they are definitely more submissive. 

[sydcarmyfan]

Princess Tiana and the frog #sydcarmy

Is it me but is there similarities between Tiana and Naveen’s relationship to that of Syd and Carmy’s relationship?

Hear me out. Tiana wants to open a restaurant to fulfill her and her dad’s dream. Carmy wants to do well by the bear which he would have opened with Mikey. As Tiana’s dad is dead, Naveen fulfills the role of Tiana’s dad and they open a great restaurant. As Mikey is dead, Syd and Carmy form a partnership to open the bear so Syd is fulfilling the role of Mikey.

Tiana has no time to hang out with her friends or ‘’mess around’’ as she says in the movie. Tiana is so focused on opening the restaurant that she doesn’t realise that Naveen is falling for her. Similar to Tiana, Syd is so focused on the restaurant’s success that she has no time for anything else. Syd does not realise that Carmy is doing what she originally wanted. Carmy is falling for her slowly but surely.

Tiana confesses that her dream would not be complete without Naveen in it. Under the table, Carmy confesses that he couldn’t do this without Syd, he wouldn’t want to do this without her.

Syd and Carmy are our real life Princess Tiana and Prince Naveen. I am so here for it. Similar to Tiana and Naveen, Syd and Carmy will need to ‘dig down deep’ inside themselves to find out what they need: each other.

[currymanganese]

My take on what I've seen a lot of people commenting on whether or not Claire returns in S3 is that Claire Bear doesn't return in S3. For the simple reason that the character was not even developed, and she left the same way she appeared, abruptly and in a way that no one will miss her. I do think she will be mentioned if she appears it will be at most a farewell scene with carmy, but if not that she will never come back. She fulfilled her purpose. 🥸

Based take anon, I hope to God that you're right. I'll breathe such a sigh of relief if you are. If they bring Claire back to flesh out her character and her relationship with Carmy more, it'll feel like they'll be cutting into time that could be better used to explore characters and dynamics that we were already interested in since season 1 yet again.

For example, what's Ebra's last name? Has Ebra immigrated to the US alone, or has his family joined him? If he lives in the US alone, is his family in Somalia still alive, is he close to them? Do they depend on him for remittances? Did they die in war or civil unrest or some other tragedy? Does Manny have kids and a last name of his own? Is Angel in college part time (like I headcanon him to be) and does he see dish washing as just a temporary thing until he breaks into the career he actually wants?

Will Tina find out that Syd's mom is dead? Will that affect the way she interacts with Sydney? Will she develop a maternal bond with Syd? Are any of the restaurant's staff undocumented immigrants? Will they have to help each other secure documentation? How will Marcus's mom's death affect him? Will the restaurant's staff band together to support him emotionally? Will Carmy step up and become a true friend/ older brother figure to him? Will Syd, Marcus and possibly Carmy grow closer together over commiserating over each of them coping with the death of one parent (if Carmy's father is in fact dead)?

What was Syd and Carmy's childhood like? Does Syd still have friends from the CIA? What is Syd's extended family life like? If her Dad is second generation Nigerian American, has Syd ever visited her family in Nigeria? Is she close with her mother's family? Is Syd her grandparents' oldest granddaughter? Has she ever gotten a taste of the oldest daughter experience, despite being an only child, because of having to mind younger cousins at family get togethers?

What was her love life and business like? Does Syd do her own hair to save money? Will she start wearing her hair in different styles more regularly when she is more financially secure? Will Syd get a share of equity in the restaurant when the business becomes profitable? When will Mr. Adamu meet Carmy and what will he make of Syd and Carmy's relationship? Where does Mr. Adamu work? How does that impact on how much quality time he got to spend with Syd as she grew up, if he's still in the same field that he was in when Syd was a child? Did Syd have any behavioural struggles that she dealt with as a young child before she was old enough to understand her mother's death? Did Mr. Adamu ever have her referred to a clinical child psychologist when she was a little girl? Does Syd go to therapy, or does she want to herself? Is Syd depressed?

Has Carmy ever struggled with suicidal ideation before? Has he ever made an unsuccessful attempt on his own life before, perhaps as a child or an adolescent? In his dream in episode 1, why did Carmy tell the bear on the State Street Bridge where his brother killed himself, "I know, I know...." What secret pain does Carmy know about that even we, the audience, are not privy to? Why was cousin Michelle so worried about the impact of Donna's behaviour on Carmy's mental health in particular? Why did the older relative/ acquaintance at Cicero's kid's party so freely assume that Carmy was the one that killed himself and not Mikey? If Carmy has been suicidal himself before, in addition to his survivor's guilt and avoidance of Donna, was this another reason he could not bear to attend Mikey's funeral, if he had to attend and face his own mortality and the fact that his brother's body in the coffin, or ashes in the urn could have easily been him?

Was Carmy ever institutionalized before? If so, does it explain his apparent severe internalized stigma against mental illness ("I'm a fucking psycho!") and him seemingly having an aversion to seek out any mental health care beyond attending the Al-anon meetings? Will Carmy ever go to therapy? Will he ever learn to love himself? Will Syd and Carmy ever realize they have deeper feelings for one another? Will Carmy allow himself to accept Syd's feelings for him if she reciprocates his?

Will any of The Bear's new staff get deeper characterizations of their own? Will Tina's son, Louis, begin working at the restaurant after all in the future, perhaps as front of house staff, or maybe as a dish washer if Angel leaves for better things? Will Gary ever return to a sports related career, perhaps by getting certification to become a coach? What will Fak's job duties be going forward, besides being a general repair man?

Was the restaurant's storefront getting shot out in Season 1 a one-off incident, or was it a warning of things to come because of the Berzatto family's ties to Cicero? Will any of Richie and Mikey's old drug clients come by to raise hell at the restaurant because they can't get their fix anymore? Will they pay back Cicero in time? Will they win their Michelin star? Will the business go under?

Will Nat enjoy motherhood? Will it bring her closer to Donna, if Donna sobers up and joins a rehabilitation program, or will it be the final nail in the coffin for their relationship if loving her own child will allow Nat to fully understand the depths of Donna's cruelty towards her and just how much she was failed as a child? How will Pete navigate fatherhood? Will Carmy grow closer to him as he sees and admires the way that Pete cares for his niece or nephew, and his sister? Will Carmy ever have a desire for a family of his own?

Will Carmy repair his relationship with Syd and with Richie? Will Richie win over the respect of his ex-wife and daughter? Will Richie learn to mind proper boundaries between himself and the Berzattos? Will they kill Donna off in Season 3? Start the season off with a funeral that crushes Marcus (his mom's), but ultimately cements his found family's support for him and for each other, and end the season with a funeral (Donna's) that Carmy, Nat and Richie heartbreakingly find freeing?

There is so much rich material that has yet to be explored with this show and these characters and their interpersonal dynamics. However, if the showrunners wanted Claire to remain as a part of this tapestry in the long run, then imo they should have written her to be as compelling as possible from her introduction in order to match the rest of the show's energy, instead they wrote her like the odd one out.

[1300dshawty]

up and thinking about syd and carmy and the value of recognising that not all love needs romantic expression. i think part of getting older might be gaining a little more discretion when it comes to love, for our own good.

carmy loves syd. not because of her eyes or her smile but because of how she feels about the beef/the bear. it’s the burning desire she has to create something that they both are gonna be proud of. he values her creativity and passion and dedication to the restaurant as a creative partner, especially because he physically can’t give everything 100% because of his anxiety/ptsd. syd is his co-pilot. she gives 70 when he can only give 30. that’s why she calms him because he knows that together they can handle it.

in my perfect world, they are never intertwined romantically. they run the restaurant, they get a star, carmy gets in therapy maybe back together with claire, syd finds her fulfillment in the kitchen, get her own place and then starts to navigate romance if she decides.

i think carmy needs someone who inspires him to want to do and be better for the bear and syd needs to see that she can do this, because carmy has. perfectly imperfect symbiosis.

[blackjack-15]

THEM GIVING CICERO THE BUSINESS PITCH LIKE PROFESSIONALS WHILE THE ALARM GOES OFF IN THE BACKGROUND i'm sobbing

"he's not our uncle" "well richie's not your cousin" "HEARD AND RESENTED" this scene is amazing

"i don't mind it" oh carmy. that's not great.

um. cicero's looking between syd and carm as they argue about carmy getting vs retaining the star? no reason for that cut, the scene would linger on carm and syd arguing since they're the speakers, but it chooses to go to cicero watching them with that look on his face? yeah there's no reason for that apart from, well the obvious reason. adding cicero to the They've Been Knowing club with tina and 80% of the viewers of this show

carmy putting the whole land/restaurant/everything up as collateral -- not only is it their only choice, let's be real, but also it sets up an interesting dichotomy -- while carmy doesn't wanna lose, would it lead to his happiness? i'm still feeling that 1) they'll succeed by the skin of their teeth and 2) carmy will end up stepping away after creating a Good Spot to work and eat at

gosh the sydcarmy banter is so GOOD this episode. sure hope no incel stalker chick comes by to ruin that or anything, that would be a damn shame

"you want a star, yeah?" "i think it'd be nice" "godspeed" yeah i think that's where it's gonna go. this is carmy's namesake, but it's syd's ship to helm ultimately, and it's her that's gonna get the star (with help from the crew of course!)

"TREMENDOUS" "thank you" the sarcastic tremendous?? after it's the word he used to describe her dish in s1 and that they flirted over?? this is flirting right now thank you i am Flapping My Hands in glee

I CALLED IT WITH TINA!!! AND SHE'S SO HAPPY IT'S SO CUTE!!! carmy talking about finding people eager to learn and syd immediately thinks of tina, it's wonderful

calling it now, the people who are gonna become Bedrocks of the restaurant (with carmy/syd leading of course and nat on project management) are Tina as the new sous, Marcus finally fulfilling that copehagen storyline and really diving into patisserie, and...i'm gonna say Richie -- giving him purpose, they mention that he doesn't have his food handler's license as foreshadowing, and he's gonna use his natural charisma and knowledge of people/the area to good use. def front of the house for him. also balances the giant personality (carmy/syd) in the back of the house

eff it i'd love for pete to get involved too, he's gotta have a marketable skill. handling Difficult People in the restaurant? or oh my land, helping out in HR. if he can deal with the berzattos he can do HR

bring back louie i miss him. he can get suspended again as a treat

[blueberryinko]

Juicy Labour

A story done for the great @gimmeabigpush who I’m very grateful for for letting me use her midwife OC, Sara and her spouse, Syd.

~

Sara waddled towards the living room. The twins were sitting in a good position, though with them being right against her pelvis, it made her back ache some. Her partner, Syd was nearby, playing with Sloane. Sara was a couple days away from giving birth, and they needed to discuss their birth plan.

“Hey honey.” Sara murmured, sitting herself on the sofa with a sigh. She felt like a balloon, her stomach tight and heavy with the twins. Syd let Sloane play on the carpet, joining Sara at her elevation. “You feeling alright?” They asked her, concern etched on their features. “Yeah, just had to pee for the eleventh time today.”

Syd chuckled. “You’ve dealt with a lot more than that babe.” They remembered the various predicaments with Sara’s previous pregnancy, and while she wouldn’t have changed anything, she would sure have liked it a little easier.

“We need to talk about the birth plan.” She told Syd, who agreed with her. “So, another home birth like we discussed?” They confirmed with Sara, who was checking her bag for everything they might need, pads, fluids and other things. They’d prepped the nursery two months earlier, thank God, and were ready for their new arrivals. “Yep, and we have the other midwives on speed dial.”

Syd seemed cautious about something, which Sara noticed. It wasn’t like them, so she gave them a quick but gentle prod to the thigh. “Hey, what’s up?” She noticed Syd’s cheeks flushing rose, and she wondered what they could possibly be thinking about. “Sorry hon, it’s silly, don’t worry about it.” They reassured her, but Sara was insistent. “We don’t have secrets, remember? You can speak your mind around me.”

“I know. I was just wondering something the other day. We watched that old Charlie and the Chocolate Factory movie, right?” Sara wondered where they were going with this, but concentrated as Syd continued. “When we got to the Inventing Room and the whole blueberry thing happened to the girl, you said “That’s me on the way to the Delivery Room.” And I, well..” Sara was starting to understand where their mind was, snuggling closer. “Yeah?”

“I have a thing for it.” Syd admitted. “Not the scene like that, but the thought of you swelling up like that. I did some looking around on the internet, and Walmart does a gum just like it.” Sara thought of herself like that, big, blue and round. She’d imagine she looked ridiculous, but something about the way Syd said it stirred something in her.

“Okay, do we know if it’s safe for pregnant women to have?” She asked. Syd scratched their head. “I had a glance at some of the reviews, and they said it was mostly safe, but if you want more research I’m open to it?” The hope in Syd’s voice had Sara wanting to fulfil this desire, and she leaned over them, getting the laptop.

After browsing for around twenty minutes, Sara hummed. “All the studies say it’s good to go for pregnant women, there’s even a doctor here that says the usage of it is even beneficial in labour.” She remarked, impressed by the findings. The twins kicked, movement showing atop her shirt. “Seems they agree too.” She joked. Syd’s face was so much brighter now, and Sara made sure to memorise it. She loved when they were as happy as this.

“Alright, so changes to the plan then. I’ll go and get the gum tomorrow, and then when I go into labour, Sloane goes around the neighbours’, yeah?” Sara planned out. She was going to make these little ones’ entrance into the world special. Syd wiped a stray tear, kissing her cheek. “I love that idea.” They enthused. Sara once again let herself fade into a fantasy of herself as a blueberry again for one more moment, and knew she wanted to do it.

~

She’d purchased the gum. It had been sitting in her pantry for the last two days when Sara felt the first proper twinges of labour. “Babe,” She signalled to Syd, who gave her a look. “Yeah, go time.” She said at their look. Syd kissed her cheek, and Sara gave them a slightly pained smile. “Go take Sloane around next-door, and I’ll prep the gum, yeah?” Syd hugged her, rubbing her bump. “You got this, okay? And if you wanna back out at any point, tell me.” With Sara’s promise in mind, Syd took Sloane next-door.

Sara felt hot, sweat beading at her chest. Looking down at her clothes, her top and shapewear leggings, she wasn’t sure they’d survive the expansion, choosing to strip down to her underwear. Her jeans were a small struggle, but eventually they were off, and she padded to the pantry, retrieving the gum.

“Expansion will be slow-acting, pumping recommended for pregnant consumers…” She read carefully. “If needed, call Oompa Retrieval Team for emergency assistance- really, they exist?” Sara blinked, chuckling to herself. One of the twins shifted minutely, and she groaned. “Ouch, you!” She murmured. “You’re gonna be a boxer when you’re older, aren’t you?”

She moved back to the living room. She’d read there would be quite a large amount of leakage, so they’d made sure to move the rug and replace it with a plastic covering. And if needed there was the pool set up in the other room.

Syd returned from the neighbours, practically vibrating with anticipation. “Everything good?” They asked, their pink dress fitting their form snugly. Sara liked that one very much, “Everything is perfect.” She replied. Syd beamed, giving her another tight hug, kissing her enthusiastically. “You’re amazing…” They breathed, marvelling at their wife. Sara smirked, “I know,” she joked. Unwrapping the gum, she felt a slow contraction roll through her. “Here we go.”

Popping the gum in her mouth, it took a moment for the flavour to hit, but it really did a moment later. “Oh, wow!” She murmured, swallowing a mouthful of juice. “It really is blueberry! I know that sounds dumb, but that’s a lot!” She giggled, feeling a little fuzzy around her body. Syd’s jaw dropped slightly, and Sara wondered what they saw. “C’mon, how do I look?” She asked, slightly nervous.

“Your nose is turning blue…” Syd’s awed tone made her blush, and she checked her reflection. Well, she was more blushing purple now anyway. Indeed it was, her belly also gaining a plush cobalt hue, spreading slowly up her body. A light pulse ran through her, not painful in the slightest. “Syd.. I think that was another contraction, but..” She placed a hand to her belly, testing it gingerly. “It wasn’t painful..” She stood there, watching as the blue tint painted itself over her entire body, looking like an alien when she checked herself in the mirror. Even her eyes had turned violet.

“That’s amazing!” Syd was fascinated. Here was their wife, swelling up for them while in active labour, and she looked like a goddess. “It must have some form of epidural effect.” Sara sat on the couch, a little surprised when her ass hit the fabric a couple seconds before she expected it to. “My ass is getting bigger too!” She commented, poking the plush cheeks. She’d had wide hips before, but now that her butt was starting to outgrow her underwear, they were even wider than before.

Syd sat on the couch with her, rubbing her belly as they dipped two fingers into her panties, checking her dilation. “A centimetre. We have a while yet.” They guessed, and Sara huffed, laying back as her stomach distended further. “Feels like Thanksgiving dinner..” She rubbed her belly as the twins shifted again. She wasn’t certain, but she thought she might feel her womb expanding too, giving the babies more space. “Oh, babies..” She rubbed her hips, her shoulders getting chubbier. “How does it feel?” Syd was curious, in awe as they patted Sara’s tummy, watching as their hands got further apart as she grew.

“Like.. like I’m really stuffed, but all around..” Sara was surprised at how pleasant it felt. “Like I’m in a hot tub, but the hot tub is me…’ She heard gentle sloshing from her body and sighed, the couch creaking below her. Wet spots appeared on her bra, purple and sticky. “O-oh! I’m.. lactating juice?” She shouldn’t be surprised, the reviews had told her that online, but all it felt was similar to letting down milk. “Syd, help me get my bra off?” She requested. Syd slowly eased Sara forward, taking note of the juice starting to fill her back muscles. “Almost there Sare-bear.” Syd comforted, popping off Sara’s bra with a quick unlatching of the pin.

“Oh! That felt so much better,” Sara let out a breathy moan, a hand going to her back. A dull contraction rippled through her again, and she breathed deep. “Ooh..” Syd came around her front again and kissed her. They both looked down at her breasts, noticing her leakage. “Well, it’s not juice, it’s more.. blueberry milk?” Syd commented. Sara laughed at the absurdity of the situation, poking her boob. She gasped at the sensitivity, another spurt of milk releasing from her nipple. “That feels so weird. It’s like I’m pumping but it’s doing it all on its own.”

“You’re amazing, mama.” Syd got down on their knees, massaging spots on Sara’s belly that were becoming supple and taut. “How are you feeling? Want me to check again?” Sara cooed, her biceps becoming slightly stiff as they billowed with juice. “Feeling good, feeling.. oohhhh…” A slower, powerful ripple coursed through her body, a low, primal moan escaping her lips. “So plump.. check me again.” She said. “This baby’s impatient.” Syd angled Sara back. Her belly was big enough that it looked as if she were carrying quintuplets instead of twins, and they had to dive a little underneath to check.

“Two centimetres hon. You’re doing great.” Syd emerged from around her belly, and Sara whined. “I wish it was going faster.” Syd chuckled. “I know hon, but you can’t rush, remember? Take your time, you’re running this whole thing.” Sara nodded, feeling impatient. “I know, I know.”

Sara felt her hips widening and slid her thighs outward, her hands digging under blue, fruity flesh to separate them, groaning. “Could-could you get the birthing ball hon?” She asked Syd, who was more than happy to oblige. They ran off for one moment. She could feel leakage from below, but this was different. It definitely wasn’t amniotic fluid, instead it felt sticky and.. juicy? “H-huh.” She was leaking from both zones. She probably should have expected that.

Syd returned soon after, and Sara attempted to get up from the couch. A literal ton of juice kept her from doing so, pinning her to the cushions. “Oh Jesus!” She huffed, her body jiggling and wobbling. “Syd, h-help again…” She felt like she was making so many demands of them, but Syd was more than happy to help. They grabbed her arms, beginning to lift her off the couch. “Okay, we’ll make it like a pendulum, yeah? Back,” They rocked her back into the couch, then pulled her forward again. “Forward.” She went forward, lifting a little off the couch.

“Back,” Syd coached as Sara was heaved back onto the couch, and like a swing Syd then used the bloated flesh of her back to bounce her off the coach, falling forward into their chest. “Forward!” They groaned as she stumbled, her cervix stretching wider as Sara lost balance. “Whoa, shit!” She squealed, though Syd’s sturdy arms wrapped around her fluffy, juice-ballooned tummy, feet driven into the rug to keep her from falling over. “You’re okay, you’re alright.” They comforted as Sara moaned.

“Feels.. feels good, feels really.. really low…” Sara was sweating, but every contraction that rumbled through her felt like a weird form of watery massage, dropping the babies further down into her pelvis. Her thighs were being absorbed into her juicy, expanding form. “C-can you.. please?” She waggled her hand, pointing around her hip vaguely towards her underside. “Yeah, sure baby,” Syd murmured. To hold her upright, one of their hands stayed wrapped around her torso, the other holding up her underbelly as they kneeled underneath her.

Moving their supporting hand, they used their fingers to check Sara’s cervix. “Okay hon, four centimetres!” They shouted up to her. “You’re doing so freaking amazing, you know that?” They encouraged her as Syd rose back up. “I think we need to set you on your belly, you’re gonna fall over at some point, or you’re gonna end up literally on your crotch.” They told her. Sara was so big, so pregnant, so berried up it took a lot to even move. Her shoulders, biceps were long gone, and she was left with her tiny forearms waggling as her calves started to buckle.

“O-okay baby, you got me?”

“I got you,” Syd confirmed, and slowly, very carefully, they lowered Sara onto her belly. “How’re you feeling?” They asked her. Sara cooed. “Big.. just.. very.. very big.” Syd chuckled, massaging the taut spots where her skin had gone firm. “You look it, no offense.” They joked. “None taken,” Sara assured, knowing how accurate Syd’s observation was. Her limbs swelled to vanishing point, swallowed up by her turgid expanse as her hands and feet settled into divots, her womanhood filling out and finishing the transformation. “Hoooohhhh..” She huffed, her eyes rolling back in her head a moment.

“Fuck, feels good…” Sara bit her lip, her toes curling at the sensation of hundreds of gallons of juice crashing around inside her. The first baby was right there, wanting out and yet Sara could still feel she wasn’t dilated enough. Syd stayed around her front for a few minutes, rubbing her breasts, which sat on the floor leaking into the plastic cover. “Yeah? Our babies?” They asked, their fingers pressing into her plush, taunt sides and making her moan. “F-first one is literally right there.. need opened up…” Sara explained, a pleasant contraction rolling through her like she’d swallowed an ice cube.

Syd thought for a moment, before coming to a conclusion. “Okay hon, I’m gonna put you on your feet, yeah? I’m gonna see if we can get you waddling for a bit, how about that?” Sara wondered if she’d even be able to waddle at this point, her feet were so far apart and so immobile as she currently was she failed to see how she’d move even a couple steps.

Syd’s hands went to her breasts again, and began to lift them. They had to dig their feet in to get Sara rolling upwards, and as she felt her toes touch the floor, Syd moved their grip to her belly, pressing down as gently as they could, and with as much force as they could muster, helped Sara’s give move backwards, and the juice inside her finally displaced, putting her back on her feet. Sara gasped, feeling the balls of her feet finally back on solid ground and marvelled at the feeling of so much weight shared in all areas of her circumference.

“O-okay, starting to waddle now.” Her belly was most certainly leading the way. It was almost like pre-transformation, but instead of her legs going to either side of her belly, it was her feet having to literally hop and rotate her entire body a step forward, then rotating her body again and landing the other foot that other step forward. She got the hang of it, but the weight of the tons of juice inside her meant she was sweating juice by the bucketload, and as she moved around the tarp, she felt her cervix widening.

“Syd, Syd, Syd, oh.. God, it’s working..” She was in ecstasy, the epidural effect of the juice making the experience practically painless. She was already getting tired of waddling, and she felt so much pressure in her labia. “Back on my belly, back on my belly..” She urged. Syd was quick to move around her back area, and Sara stopped waddling, letting Syd roll her back onto her belly. The gravity had helped, and as she felt Syd’s fingers dip into her folds, she gasped.

“Nine centimetres, you’re so close!” Syd congratulated. Sara felt powerful, she was as big as a small smart car, and just as wide, and yet she’d never felt more alive. “Almost there!” She replied, breathing in rhythm as she flapped her hands in their divots. She got an idea, trying her best to rock the juices around inside her.

Slosh, churn, gurgle.

Her body was loud, and yet serene. Her body rocked like a cradle, and Sara felt her cervix widen once again. “Oh my God, I’m gonna push!” She exclaimed, already bearing down. Syd was in position, and watched as Sara began birthing their second baby. “Here we go hon, I’m right here.” They coached her. Sara remembered all the other births she’d attended, remembering her own teachings. “Feels decent, feels like a bowling ball inside me.” She stated, sweat beading her forehead.

“Mama bowling ball and baby bowling ball, huh?” Syd joked. Sara giggled, she must look absolutely ridiculous. Another contraction rippled through her, and she bore down, setting her jaw. She felt something happening down below, and gasped, realising what it was. “S-Sara.. you’re crowning..” Syd felt their jaw drop, watching as the head began to emerge.

“Y-yup, I feel them!” Sara was very well aware of it, but this time it felt bizarre. Last time she gave birth, it’d felt like a ring of fire, like all the stories, but this felt more like pushing out an air bubble, in a strange way. She dripped juice from her folds, and Syd massaged her pubic mound, a slow v-motion making sure the baby was comfortable as it began slipping out. “How’re we doing back there?” She asked. Syd called back over in a joyful tone. “So well Sara, c’mon honey, you got this!”

She stayed right where she was, not that she could move of course. She felt her pelvis shifting, her feet curling as her entire body tightened. It was like she had been plump and taut, now she was as hard as steel, her entire body focused on getting the baby out of her. “Low sounds, c’mon.” Syd coached, and Sara groaned. “Out of me, c’mon baby!” She urged, pushing down. Her lips bulged, and she felt the baby right there, right at her entrance. “Come OOON!” She shouted, and she felt the baby’s head leave her with a gush of juice.

She heard a loud cry, and let out a sob of relief of her own, beginning to tear up in earnest as she pushed the rest of their body out. “And there’s one!” Syd announced as they carefully cut the cord, helping Sara to push the remainder out. Once they were certain everything had been safely extracted, Syd brought their second child around to Sara’s front.

“Oh, hello baby!” Sara gasped, setting eyes on their baby. “Hello Vee!” She watched as Syd took the baby to their crib, cleaning them off and making sure they were settled in their basin. Now it was time for the twin.

Sara felt different with this one though. The second baby was being stubborn and slow. Syd returned to her in no time, and watched her brow furrow. “Hey, hey, what’s up?” They questioned, concerned. Sara whined. “They’re not coming fast enough,” She wept. She wasn’t in any pain, but the pressure of bearing down was getting to be a bit much. Syd grabbed the towel, wetting it with some cold water and pressing it to her forehead. “Hey, hey, every birth is different. And you’ve been a fucking star through this whole thing.” They reassured her.

The hormones were getting to her. “Oh Syd!” She sniffled. “I feel so good, but this is taking so long, I want them here with us..” Syd shushed her gently, putting their forehead to hers. “You got this, you have this all in hand, you know that?” Syd was in awe of their wife and what she had done for them tonight. “You blew up like this all for me, on such short notice. I was sure you’d say no and I would’ve been completely fine with it, but you just stormed right ahead. You’re a freaking legend, Sara, and I’m so lucky to have you.”

Sara bawled, though soon calmed herself, letting out a small hiccup. “A-any ideas for how we can get this moving?” She asked, wondering if some gravity would help. Syd hummed. “I have an idea. Remember how the girl in the movie was rolled around?” Sara let out a wheeze, what else could happen today that they hadn’t thought of already? “Alright honey, just be delicate, please?” She requested.

Since she was already on her belly, Syd meandered around to Sara’s side, their hands going to her sensitive skin. She cooed, another contraction rumbling through her. “Hooohh…nnnnfff…” The strange pressure felt like a water balloon in her gut, and she breathed through it. Syd stopped. “You sure about this?” They checked with her, to which Sara nodded. “I’m sure, roll me.”

Syd’s hands on her felt weird as her weight gave, and her vision began to spin. The juice spinning inside her was colossal in both motion and sound, being rolled around the living room in circular direction. “Whoa..” She gasped, flapping her hands. The vertigo was unreal, and she listened to the churning and gurgling emanating from her innards. “It’s like I’m a beer keg.” She felt the comparison was apt, and Syd chuckled.

“You wouldn’t be out of place in a Venusian wine cellar then.” They joked. Sara giggled, and then went quiet as another contraction pulsed. It ached a little, but she was handling it. “Alright, alright, alright.” She huffed, balling her fists. “Put me on my lower belly please hon.” She stated. The doorbell rang, and Syd quickly set Sara on the tarp before attending to the door.

They came back a moment later with three bags of McDonalds, to Sara’s confusion. “The neighbours ordered dinner for us again. We’ll pay them back for everything, right?” They asked her. Sara felt tears dripping down her cheeks again, nodding furiously. “How is Sloane?” She asked.

“They’ve been set down for the night, had their food and was very well-behaved.” Syd confirmed. “They’re absolutely fine.” Sara sighed in relief. She missed their eldest baby, and couldn’t wait for them to meet their siblings. “I didn’t tell them about your current state though.” Sara was grateful for that, despite liking her new form, she wasn’t sure it was something she wanted to share yet, maybe ever. “Thanks babe. Thank you for being so good with me.”

“Of course, you don’t need to ever thank me just for helping you.” Syd said. “You’re running this so well, and our next little one is almost here. Just a little longer huh?” Sara nodded, breathing. Soon, she felt the next head pressing at her labia. “Oh, shit, here they come.” It was like the head suddenly slid into place, and she cocked her head. “Okay Syd, that rolling around dislodged them, I think. I’m ready.” Syd nodded, heading around Sara’s underside.

Working her feet in their divots, Sara attempted as best she could to widen her stance. Her body was vibrating, shaking. “Nnnfff come on baby!” She encouraged. “Just come down, come to Mama and Bibi..” She bore down again, and felt her lips bulge. “That’s it Sara, come on.” Syd murmured. Sara blew air out through her cheeks, puffing them out. “D-do we have some noise? L-like ocean noises or something?” Syd hummed. “I think I’ve got a meditation playlist, hang on.”

Syd grabbed their phone from the sofa, opening Spotify. “Rain noises?” They asked. Sara nodded. The soothing sounds of a thunderstorm soon filled the room, and as evening began to set in the windows, the lights came on. Sara pushed again. She was exhausted, but she knew beyond a doubt she could do this. “Come on Supermom..” She joked, feeling a sense of power flooding her form. She growled, bearing down as the head bulged her lips.

Syd worked her linea viola, feeling the movements coming from her womb. “They’re in a good position, head-first, shoulders right there.” They confirmed. Sara moaned at their touch, continuing her routine. “Burger please?” She requested. She had been fed all her fries already, but she was saving the burger for now. Syd fetched it for her after washing their hands, feeding her. “They’re right there.” She muffled through her chewing, nuzzling against Syd’s cheek. “So close…”

“I know babe, I know. You’re so strong, just focus on me and my voice.” Syd was enamored with their wife’s body, her pushing and the low, primal noises, guttural and straight from the throat as she pushed. As Sara finished off her burger, Syd slipped back around her undercarriage, ready to help with the baby.

Sara moaned again, determined. The baby began bulging out of her lips, and she let out a frustrated yell. “I can do this, c’mon!” She even balled her fists, pulling them further into her body and sucking in her feet like that would help. It was actually doing so, the pressure being focused downwards into her birth canal. “Rrraaaaarrrgh!” She yelled, and with a pop and a gush of fluids, the baby’s head emerged from her body.

“Oh!” She yelped, a sudden pang of ecstasy making arousal flood her entire body. She felt Syd latch onto the baby as it kept emerging. Every slight push got the shoulders further out, and she was progressing quickly, looking like it was ready to tumble right out. “Oh my God, that’s fast!” She gasped. Syd was making sure the baby was all good, noting no cord yet, which was a good sign. “Yep, but fast is good, you’re doing great.”

Sara hummed, bearing down yet again with a mighty heave, her body bucking gently as she pushed. “Okay, okay, got it got it got it!” She groaned, the shoulders emerging and then the torso. One last push had to do it, right? “Come on Sara, you’re so nearly done!” With those final words of encouragement from Syd, Sara’s brow furrowed, and she yelled. “Come on come OONN!” She yelled, and with a final burst of fluids and blueberry juice, the final baby tumbled right into Syd’s hands.

“Sara, you did it! Our little Bree is here!” Syd crowed, and both parents burst into tears yet again. While Syd cleaned up the baby, Sara pushed out the final bits of afterbirth, the cord having been cut cleanly just minutes before. She grunted and groaned, liquid gushing from her vagina and dripping down her belly. The tarp she’d been positioned on through the whole of her labour was undoubtedly ruined, soaked with blueberry juice. She was exhausted, and yet so proud of herself.

Syd opened the window. “The twins are here!” They announced, the whole street hollering and whooping with a loud cheer from the neighbours. Sara laid there on her belly, still round. “So, when does this die down?” Syd approached her again, rubbing her sides. “In a day or so, or we could pump it out of you tomorrow. Which one would you prefer?”

“Ehh.. wait a day or so.. I’m shattered.” Sara yawned. It had taken an entire day for the twins to arrive, but now they were finally here. “Yeah? I’ll leave you to it. You did it!” Syd cheered, kissing her cheek. “Just go to sleep, yeah? I’ll handle the babies from here.”

Sara was more than happy to go to sleep, content in her new motherhood. Tomorrow they’d figure out which way they wanted to juice her, for now, she was knackered. Her eyelids shut, the cries of the babies fresh in her mind as a soft smile settled on her face.

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

Never apologize

Transcript of 03x07 | Legacy

As I went over here, guilt is eating him alive.

I noticed that the whole AA meeting scene is about those people in the group voicing out what Carmy can't say in his own words. As if they spoke for him because they all have similar experiences, which is one of the goals of group therapy, that the patient can relate to others going through the same trauma and that "act of mirroring" helps them to feel less alone and ultimately to heal. That is the whole therapeutic process of that kind of therapy.

Carmy doesn't say a word in those scenes, is just introspectively relating to everything he hears, taking it all in and associating all of it with his own experience. He doesn't say a word because he doesn't have to. His peers in the group speak for him.

They speak of guilt, of not being able to say the words "I'm sorry" or apologizing and having those unsaid words STUCK inside. They make them feel "stuck", which is exactly how Carmy is, throughout the season, till this moment:

Which IMO is a clear sign that whilst the breakthrough moment was when he could finally cry, the real progress will be made when he can actually apologize (S4). THAT WILL GET HIM UNSTUCK.

But of course there's a catch.

Now he not only needs to apologize to C, which I think a simple text could do. But the person he needs to apologize the most to is Syd and not just with words, because he has been using his words for a couple of seasons now and that is not cutting it for Syd, obviously. With Syd, he needs to apologize in whatever way she tells him to. Whatever she asks, he has to do, and not just promise her this time around, actually do.

The catch is that that strategy will only work in a perfect world, not in Carmy's world.

This puts us back at square 1 because it's not like he hasn't been trying to fulfill his promises, it's that he keeps failing at it, over and over, because he has lots of unresolved issues, trauma, CPTSD, etc. So, what will have to happen for the apologies to actually work this time around is that THEY ARE NOT NECESSARY anymore.

What will break the cycle is that Carmy stops feeling guilty for not having apologized to C and starts forgiving himself for having fucked up. In his case, Self-acceptance is what will break the cycle.

Eventually, if that apology does happen, not because he proactively tries to apologize and fails every time, but because life happens... he runs into C, or whatever... Then he can apologize to her, and not because he feels guilty, but because he wants her out of his life for good and wants to give her and himself some closure and move on. For that, first, he has to realize that that is exactly what he wants. He has to realize he doesn't want C, but Syd and maybe that will happen after he finds out about Shapiro's offer...

As far as Syd goes, she will have to understand who she's dealing with here and not expect an apology from him, nor a change. IK this is an extremely unpopular opinion, but it's a valid one when you are dealing with addicts in the family. Sorry, I didn't make the rules. This is how love works when the one you love is fucked up and your life is not in danger. You don't walk out on them if they are hitting rock bottom. You try to help them, you look for help. You support and get the help you need too, to be able to show up. She will have to forgive herself for putting the wrong expectations on the wrong man and expecting something that Carmy simply can't give her. He has been giving her so far, whatever he is capable of, whatever he knows how to give. She can either accept it or not. I think she will for all these reasons I already elaborated on here and here. Anything else, is just not possible at this time, because for now, when he's still not fully recovered, he's just incapable of giving her anything else other than this flawed yet good-intentioned robot/psycochef he has been serving her. He can't give her anything else at this point, because he just doesn't even have it himself. And then she will have to decide if, knowing that, knowing who she's actually dealing with, someone who expresses commitment and affection in such a flawed and toxic way, she wants to stick around anyway BECAUSE SHE LOVES HIM or not.

She will have to come clean with herself and adjust her expectations realistically.

If she finds it in her, she will have to be patient and trust in the process. Keep on trusting in Carmy. Put the SHIP in partnership. Not because she has to, but because she freely chooses to, out of love.

But sticking around expecting him to change, or fulfill his promises like a healthy person would, won't work, just as it hasn't worked so far. He will apologize, I'm sure. But that won't change a thing. Just like it hasn't changed anything so far. So does she want to and can she be there for him and for herself knowing and accepting this? And why?(Purpose, chef!). If she decides she will stay by his side, then she can't expect more apologies from him. She will have to forgive him for being an asshole and move on, help herself, and help him in the process. Because apologies won't cut it at this point.

Surrender will.

In Syd's case, surrender is what breaks the cycle she is trapped in. Surrendering to what she feels for him and letting that be the reason why she stays, as opposed to expecting him to change for her and AGAIN say he's sorry and that he won't do it again... and she knows the drill... Just won't be enough and she knows it deep down. She stopped believing in all of that, which is part of her current crisis:

Then, once these crises (both, hers and his) have passed the real apologies, the ones that actually count, will come. But the other catch is that they will no longer be necessary because by then they will have accepted themselves and each other just as they are and will have improved as well. Together and because of each other.

So apologizing will feel superfluous. Although by then the expectations they put in one another will be well-calibrated, they will both know how to say I'm sorry when it matters and really put in the work to make the apology count. So, it won't really be necessary anymore. But they will still do it, out of love.

I trust they will find this loophole next season.

Bonus track: Syd is the source of his amusement and enjoyment that's why he hates Sundays. But the source of Syd's is all of the people she thought of right before her panic attack, all the people she just can't make herself walk away from, not even for all the money in the world, not even if Carmy is a piece of shit. They just have to accept it, first to themselves, and then to each other. There's no other way out of this labyrinth.

Remember to follow my tag #Gingerpovs 💋

[folxlorepod]

Author's Notes on 'Creature' and 'Home': Trans Love, Bad Queers, and Happy Endings.

By Syd Briscoe CREATURE and HOME were an interesting pair of episodes to write, because they reflect on the same experience in very different ways. Not two sides of a coin, but then we'd be hypocritical if we went for something too binary, wouldn't we? 

I started writing from the POV of wanting to give Charlie an ending that he deserved, and my voicing him actually influenced the cross-dimensional premise of the season entirely. As you may have noticed, I was finally (after the better part of a decade on an NHS waiting list) allowed to start taking testosterone while we were planning things out, and my voice changed really quickly. So from a purely practical perspective I started thinking about how punk it was to have a trans VA change sound completely during a story. 

Charlie has been a challenge as a writer ever since the pilot episodes, because he's not a capital-letter Good Queer in the way that people often write their queer characters to be. He's angry, he's petty, he's paranoid, he's anxious - the track that always makes me think of him is 'I'm Not A Good Person' by Pat the Bunny, and he'd sing along to every word with a complete lack of irony. He's been through some stuff which he's never unpacked, and he stands for those among us who feel like we missed the boat in life somehow. 

That's why it felt important for him to still be like that once he got whammied with the magical transition stick. Because so often in media our narratives end with us transitioning, begin post transition, and/or view it as a magic wand which is at once the root of and solution to all our problems. Charlie is still a horrid little goblin once he's allowed to feel more like himself in his skin - he's still angry, he's still depressed, he's still plagued by memories and bothered by things he can't have. He's also still very much our root-deep link to Glasgow, even as he finally learns to get off the subway. 

If Charlie is an expression of how our experiences existing while trans can shape us - for better or worse - then the Creature is a manifestation of all the things we didn't get to be. Particularly the older members of the community, which very much influenced its conception as an ancient being. We didn't get to mould our bodies, we didn't get to exist outside of a hostile society, we didn't get to just be how we are. We didn't get to be the children or the teenagers our cis peers were, we didn't get to have the silly nights out without fear, and we didn't get to be carefree. 

The Creature absorbs that, tries to shield the other characters from feeling that, and yet it endures. It isn't a fantasy of wish fulfilment - it isn't a gender fairy creature - but it's how I imagine an ancient being would conceive of the business of gender and queerness in a very different way to how our society does. Namely that it doesn't matter at all in the same way we'd think about it, and they're a bit confused as to why our hostile world would care so much, but the fact that people it cares about have experienced it in the way we do matters very much. 

I wanted to have the Creature feel very alien, and then Charlie to come from his extremely bare bones relatable Going Through Some Shit place, and them to find not only love but more importantly purpose together. It often feels like there are so few trans love stories, and when there are they're about Hyper Passing Person No1 finding Cis Person No2, or couples breaking up due to transition, and… fuck that, to put it bluntly. Charlie is a weird person. The Creature isn't a person. If the lads on Grindr don't love you, then that doesn't mean you're unlovable. Weirdos are here, and we have always been here. 

My first concept for CREATURE was Charlie helping the Creature change their jewellery. The OG idea was about body mods and the queer community, but given everything happening in the UK, my writing soon became influenced by other things. It was meant to be a very simple metaphor at the start, but it became more complicated for political and personal reasons. I don't think you can make queer art in this country without it feeling fraught at the moment, as we get battered in the media for no good reason other than our existence, and it would be nice to have something's protective wings spread over us for a while.

It is not easy being in transition, even if you're going where you want to go. That's pretty much the thesis statement of both HOME and CREATURE as a pair, and I really hope you find some enjoyment, meaning, and maybe even comfort in them. 

[hourglassfish]

I really love your account and your thoughts on the bear!

I really struggle with this discourse around romantic, platonic and sexual love within the bear, and between Syd and Carmy. I feel like it reveals a lot of the limits we place on 'love' as a concept, but also on how we understand Black women in culture.

Cus like - let's get it out the way - would we need to keep making this point if she was a white woman? Swap her and Molly Gordon around, watch the conversation change overnight! I feel compelled to defend the sydcarmy ship, because so much of what people say is Mammification 101, and the platonic soulmate feels like the embodiment the cultural idea imposed on Black women for centuries. I have been that person. It did me so much harm. Never again! (I am bemused that people find it inconceivable that these two hot, passionate, intense people, engaged in the deeply erotic work of feeding those around them and pushing their bodies to their physical limits might want to fuck. ESPECIALLY when they are framed the way they are. It's all extremely romantic and sexual, the more I watch them together under that table the worse it gets)

But on the other hand, I believe, deeply, that western cultures, particularly the heteropatriachal white ones, do not have enough language for all the kinds of love there are, and that it impoverishes us all spiritually. Because I don't believe those acts of love can or should or are restricted to the role of wife or romantic lover. They're defo not in queer frameworks - Alok V Menon writes beautifully about romantic friendship -

'i want a world where friendship is appreciated as a form of romance. i want a world where when people ask if we are seeing anyone we can list the names of all of our best friends and no one will bat an eyelid. i want monuments and holidays and certificates and ceremonies to commemorate friendship. i want a world that doesn't require us to be in a sexual/romantic partnership to be seen as mature (let alone complete). i want a movement that fights for all forms of relationships, not just the sexual ones. i want thousands of songs and movies and poems about the intimacy between friends. i want a world where our worth isn't linked to our desireability, our security to our monogamy, our family to our biology.'

and also -

'Friendship is the most sacred form of love. Home is less a physical location, more a good conversation with a friend. Take me there: the opposite of small talk. Romantic love is fickle and prone to spontaneous combustion. Friendship, it sticks. Keeps my feet on this earth. My head held high. Reminds me why I’m here.'

Donna Haraway speaks very explicitly about the love that exists between people that build something together, how deep and absorbing that can be - and I have felt and experienced that love, built a company with someone who became a friend, held hands as we walked to meetings we were nervous about, shared beds when we couldn't afford more than one hotel room at a conference, noticed we were finishing each others sentences, dressing similarly, building a shared philosophy as we funnelled huge amounts of ourselves into this thing we were building together that meant so much to and for us. There were moments where we were possessive and jealous of one another, we knew each other's families, she saw me at my very, very worst. I think that relationship was deeply loving, deeply intimate, deeply romantic in many ways - she came over once at 3 in the morning to make me mac and cheese. Her fiancee dropped her off! When we stopped working together, it was like a break up, and I grieved it, and there was no space for that grief, because the depth of that love isn't recognised in the society. So much of heteropatriarchy runs on the notion that there is one special person that will fulfill if not all, then at least the vast majority of our needs - but I don't think this is true, I think it's a myth that actively fucks us all over. It makes life cold and terrifying when you're single, and it can trap you in bad relationships if you fear they're going to be the only source of care. I think we can tesselate with one another in limitless ways, and that the exchange can be all sorts of things. There is a version of sydcarmy where their loving exchange is one where they both help each other come to terms with the respective griefs around their mothers, where Sydney supports Carmy in learning how to be a leader with the mental health presentations he has, and he supports her in her journey to a Michelin star, where they both figure out a model more like Kasama's (open 5 days a week for lunch service, 4 days a week for dinner service, with space to have a life), where together they make this massive chunk of their lives pleasurable. It could be one of the most meaningful, transformative relationships of their respective lives - and they can have other romantic and sexual loves outside of that, and it doesn't have to be an envious either or, or an abject extraction of labour. It can be a love of it's own.

that being said.

they should fuck

😉

“platonic soulmate” sounds, to me, an awful lot like doing all the work of being someone’s wife and then not getting all the benefits - someone to hold you when you’re sad or sick or just need a cuddle, someone to do half the chores, someone who makes you feel special, makes you laugh, takes care of you, listens to you and takes your feelings seriously, who takes your side, who puts the time and effort and love in to learn to fuck you just right

i’m not sure how it’s more “feminist” and “pure” to imagine a woman getting a raw deal like that. or why another man or woman (if she’s queer) would put up with her giving all of that wife-y care and time and passion (for minimum 14-16+ hours out of 24, six days a week) and energy away to a “platonic soulmate”

how is that more feminist than a woman wanting and then getting what she wants and all the pleasures and costs that come with it? why is only paying the cost and not getting the full deal inherently purer?

anyway here’s Wonderwall Sappho (translated by Anne Carson)

because I prayed this word: I want