#i want a civil servant job because that's for life and i would love to do the same thing forever

[moinsbienquekaworu]

I just spent like 20 minutes thinking about soup

[lilgoblinbitch]

I Wanna Be Yours 𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔

Rick Grimes x fem!reader

Summary: you and rick find solace in one another and end up falling hard and fast, but you're unsure if he really feels the same way as you do...

Warnings: angst, suggestive themes, some cussing. 18+ only.

wc: 1554

It took years of improvement for you to become an ambitious woman with a mended heart, desperate yearning for freedom, and an opportunity to heal and start your own life, to finally assert yourself into the world — by moving to Atlanta.

You’d always dreamt of living in a big city and escaping the suburban hell you grew up in. After college you were in a decent amount of debt but you landed a decent job that paid well. Your — as of about a year and a half now — late fiancé had a job as a city zoning office worker in Atlanta. By the time the world went to shit you had been introduced to Jacqui, who was an earlier member of your group and met her demise at the CDC. You met her through your fiancée after discovering she had worked in the same department as him. Inevitably, you ended up hitching a ride with her to the quarry camp.

That’s how you met the very assertive and tenacious sheriff’s deputy Rick Grimes.

He was someone you could actually work with. Someone with common sense who always tried his absolute best to reason with people, because he believed that people get to come back. Civilization didn’t have to end from an apocalyptic world occupied by the living dead – no; humanity had gone through many apocalypses. There was still hope. Rick Grimes believed that, and he made you believe it, too.

And if anything, the world you lived in now helped you to grow and heal, because for the first time in your life you were actually surrounded by a group of people – family – who would do anything for you, who would fight for you and actually prove to you that you weren’t just a servant to people. You had a purpose like everyone else in this world. You were here because your group brought you back. You got to come back, like Rick said.

After his wife’s death, Rick became cold and hardened by the harsh realities of the world. But he came back. He always did; he was the strongest man you had ever met.

And you fell in love with him.

Little did you know, he felt the exact same way.

“How many more miles we got?”

Road trips like these were how you discovered your (seemingly) unrequited love for the sheriff. The comfort of silence and the gentle rumble of the car’s engine, and the steady noise of the tires sliding against the worn-down paved road… and to your left a very handsome man. His beard was coated with salt and pepper whiskers and his hair was always perfectly tousled back, his curls slightly dancing at the base of his skull as the car reached many halts and skimmed over fissures in the road. 

Rick’s hand shifted on the steering wheel, his other arm resting on the door beside him. He glanced at you for a moment, his hardened gaze softened as he rested his eyes on yours. Your stomach giggled nervously. His eyes were so fucking intense and he made you want to–

“About 10, more or less.” His voice was warm and raspy. Always so soothing to listen to. Hell, there were nights when you’d wish he would just talk to you just for the sake of talking, because honestly his voice was soothing enough to fall asleep to. And then there were nights where you wish he’d put his sexy, husky vocal cords to use and whisper filthy and forbidden words into your ear as his rough hands ever so gently slid down your torso further and further until you felt his fingertips reach–

“Hey, you doin’ alright?”

He had caught you dissociating, your eyes accidentally glued to his hands, which were now both gripping the steering wheel. The bulging veins in his arms popped out.

You sighed defeatedly. “‘M fine, just thinkin’ bout stuff…” You trailed off, eyes diverting to your calloused fingertips, picking at the dead skin that so desperately could benefit from a trip to the salon. You felt your cheeks heat up a bit out of embarrassment; did he know what you were thinking? Did he know how he made you feel? Part of you wished he did so that you wouldn’t have to go pretending and hiding anymore – you could finally have your answer and find some sort of comfort out of it.

But you hated rejection, too. You hated feeling unwanted or unloved. You hated feeling like a burden or just someone that could be walked all over – because that’s how you were treated most of your life.

God, you were so naive. Rick loved catching you staring. He loved seeing you flustered and affected by the attention he constantly threw at you. He loved testing your limits. In fact, this was his plan all along, to get you alone with him. Rick knew you, at the very least, were interested in him. He was very confident in this. But you were so focused on your own thoughts and actions when you were around him that you barely ever noticed the many times he’d catch himself staring at you for longer than he wanted to admit. You were just so beautiful, and so graceful, and so, so fucking caring. Even the way you constantly watched over his boy like he was your own, or rocked his baby girl to sleep after he came back from runs drenched in sweat and drained of energy. He never met a woman like you. Lori could never compare to you; you would never cheat on Rick, or have any other man’s baby. You were so dutiful and thoughtful, and always put others before yourself, and you were always there for Rick when he needed someone to just listen to him. 

He wanted you. Maybe even more than you wanted him.

Abruptly, Rick halted the car to a stop on the side of the road, pulling you out of your pensive state of mind. He swiftly shifted the gear into park, and dropped his hands to his lap. You gulped, anticipating his next move. Tucking your hair back behind your ears, you faced him, mirroring his motions. His eyes were already boring into you, as if he was reading your deepest thoughts. 

You still had around 5 miles to go, but that didn’t seem to bother him at all, judging by the way his focus never left you. You bit your lip nervously, then asked, “Why are we stopped?”

His eyes left yours for a moment, lifting his left hand to drag it through his hair. He let out a small sigh and turned back to face you, licking his lips. “Look, I uh…” He started, but struggled to find his words. You knew something was wrong, so you instinctively reached out to his arm and traced your thumb up and down – a soothing technique that always seemed to work on him. 

Your pleading eyes searched his own. “Is everything okay? You know you can tell me anything…”

Looking into your eyes was all he needed to gather himself. His other hand fell over yours, caressing it and sending shivers throughout your whole body. This was his moment. Your moment. His hand lifted up to your cheek now, and he stared into your eyes one last time before slowly leaning in, closer and closer, until your noses touched. Your heart was practically begging to burst out of your chest. But that didn’t bother you at all, and you finally decided to close the gap between you two and meet your lips with his. 

The kiss was perfect, everything you’ve been waiting for. You waited so long for this, and so did Rick. Fuck, you needed this, and more.

His needy tongue slipped past yours without a fight; no password needed to enter when it came to this man. Your soft hands dug into his brown locks as his now gripped at your waist, signaling for you to plop down onto his lap. You obliged; anything to get closer to him. You whimpered into his mouth, and he grumbled lowly in response. The kiss was desperate, like you were both desert roses fiending for a nourishing rainstorm. 

After a while you pulled away, breathing heavily. His hot breath fanning your neck, now making you impossibly needy for more of his touch. His hands tenderly hugged your sides, and once again his eyes met your frantic ones. 

He spoke your name like it was holy, like you were his God. He said it so carefully, it melted your heart. “I love you…”

You opened your mouth to respond, choking on your words. You didn’t believe it; it was almost like a dream. Your brain was on autopilot, and it felt like your soul disconnected from your body at that moment. This man was otherworldly in the way he made you feel.

“I love you, Rick…” You finally found the words that fit his own like a puzzle piece. You fit him like a puzzle piece. “You don’t know how long I wanted–”

“I know, baby,” His hands held your face close to him while you rested yours on his chest, which fell up and down with each gentle breath. “I’ve waited so long, but now I finally have you.”

[littlebitsalt]

Can you make yandere boyfriend x gn reader? Like they both in relationship but as As time goes by, the reader feels that their relationship is boring because they think their partner is someone foolish always depend his life on reader, and someone who only try to impress them, in conclusion reader actually doesnt enjoy their relationship probably more like one-sided love? Reader felt only him that the one who try build the relationship (if you know what i mean) and reader trying to break up with him without make him offended (the rest its up to you)

Yandere boyfriend x reader

summary: You get tired of your boyfriend.

note: a lot of buildup,, and there are stuff at the end that might not be for everyone!!(death threats etc)

You were going through a rough patch when you first met him. At that time, you already graduated university a year ago studying something you were definitely not interested in, and spent most of your time struggling to become a civil servant.  You weren't much of a passionate person, and you had no means to achieve a higher position at work, so a civil servant who lives thin but short was the perfect option.

Everyday after your part time job you went to a small private study hall and sat on your favorite seat, secluded from sight. You got a one month pass every first day of the month and studied. There was a guy working at the counter, studying himself. You only talked to him when you payed for the montly pass. He looked like a decent guy, you thought. 

It all started when a drink with a note was on your desk. You thought writing love letters to someone in a library or a study hall was something you can see in memes with cringey quotes on the letter. You picked up the note and read it. 

Neat handwriting was on the small piece of paper. 

'I noticed you studying everyday, and I just wanted to ask if you have time tomorrow?'

The note was simple. But there was no clue of who wrote this note. You didn't know who wrote you a note, but you knew this person was either clumsy or wanted to be your secret admirer.

You studied for hours and prepared to leave like any other day. You noticed the guy working at the counter approaching you, clearly having something to say.

"Hello... um... I'm the one who gave you the note and drink..."

He mumbled, not making eye contact.

"Oh... um..."

"Do you have time tomorrow? We can eat dinner together..."

He said, his hand scratching his neck.

You accepted his offer without much thought, because why not. You needed something to distract you from studying all day long, and I date sounded like something you can count on.

Or.. you just liked how he looked. 

The following story was normal like any couple would. You ate dinner at a restaurant with that guy. You ate pasta if you remember right. You asked him about himself, and decided that you wanted to date him. 

He eventually told you that he spotted you a year ago when he was also studying at the same study hall, which he now works for (a part time job). He was studying for a exam a year ago, just like you, to get into a better university. 

He went to the same university you graduated. He also told you he wanted to talk to you, but only kept his feelings to himself for the months. After he got into the university he wanted, he decided to go for it.

You studied for your own exam coming up a few months later, and walked around town with him at dinner time.

Months passed after the guy at the counter became your boyfriend. He occasionally studied with you, busy comprehending what he learned in university. 

Everything went smootly for the first few months, while getting to know him better. Having someone in your life made your everyday life much more meaning. You felt yourself changing slightly everyday, just to go walking with him on your spare time.

Your rough road ended when you finally passed the civil servant exam after working hard for it for years. Now you had a job, and you had a boyfriend who likes you so much. You also had time to look around the world.

Now that you think about it, having so much to do and having so much chance enjoying doing something else may have drived you to getting tired of your boyfriend.

Your boyfriend didn't change much at first, but when you and your boyfriend started to go to each other's places almost everyday, he changed in a more... tiring way.

There was nothing that extreme, but there was definitely something tiresome.

"What are you thinking about? I want to know."

Your boyfriend asked, while eating dinner at your house.

"Uhh.. nothing."

"I was thinking about going on a trip. Just the two of us. How does that sound?"

He asked.

"That's sounds good. You have graduation soon, right? We can go after your graduation."

You answered as you looked at him searching through his phone.

"What are you looking for on your phone?"

"To send you the details about the graduation ceremony."

"There's going to plenty of people there like.. your family and friends, so I'm kind of uncomfortable, don't get me wrong, i.. uh.."

You can see that your boyfriend didn't expect your response.

"My mom is the only person who's going to be there. Please? I know it might be a little uncomfortable, but I really want you to be there."

"Alright. Send me the details. I'll be there."

The university auditorium was crowded with people. You were standing at the bery back of the auditorium since you were late to the ceremony, and there was no room at the front. You watched the ceremony, trying to spot your boyfriend. 

After several speeches and celebrations, the ceremony ended. Luckily you found your boyfriend immediately as people went out of the auditorium.

"I thought you didn't come."

He said, leading you out of the auditorium.

"I missed the bus so I had to take a taxi. So.. where is your mother? Is she here?"

"I think she's somewhere else."

"Somewhere else? What do you mean?"

"He's here for my brother, not me. Does that make it clear..?"

He said, looking around to catch a glimpse of his brother. 

You never heard of his brother before. Or of his family.

"She's your mother too. Why don't you go see her?"

You said, still confused.

"Hey-"

You saw a guy waving at your boyfriend. His hair was long enough to cover half of his neck , and he had a smile on his face. That's his brother, you thought.

Your boyfriend's brother was nothing like your boyfriend. He was the exact opposite.There was also a little girl about 6 years old and a woman holding the girl's hand beside him, talking to themselves.

You turned to your boyfriend, who was taking a step back.

"I didn't expect that-"

You said jokingly. But you could see your boyfriend's face was not looking good. 

"Hi... "

Your boyfriend greeted them with a uncomfortable look on his face. His mother looked at you with a calm face, and the little girl hid behind her. You were standing there awkward too, not knowing what to do. Your boyfriend looked uneasy around them for some reason.

"Who's that beside you?"

His brother asked.

"I'm dating (name)."

"Oh, ok. You got a good looking partner. Want to join us for lunch? My sister wanted to eat at a restaurant."

"No thanks, the three of you can go."

"Ok then."

You walked out of the university, your boyfriend beside you. There was an awkward silence between you and your boyfriend, and you wanted it to break.

"That's your brother? And.. the little girl is your sister?"

You asked.

"Yes. They are."

He replied with a dry tone.

You were fighting between asking your boyfriend about his family and why he is uncomfortable with them or just keeping your mouth shut. You decided to keep your mouth silent. There may be a reason why he answered vaguely at the first place. You might as well let him be.

"Did you like him? My brother?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean... no, just forget it."

"Huh?"

After meeting your boyfriend's brother, your boyfriend acted a bit different. Your boyfriend visited your place more often, even everyday, even when you wanted some time by yourself. You did not know why he was doing this, but you knew you were getting tired.

"Don't you think you're visiting my place too much sometimes?"

You said, while watching a movie with your boyfriend.

"Why? I just wanted to spend more time with you."

Your boyfriend got closer, resting his head on your shoulder.

"You know I don't like being alone. Plus, I can't manage myself alone..."

You agreed with the 'can't manage myself' part. Your boyfriend had a clumsy side to him, especially when you were with him alone. You didn't think of him as someone you need to take care of when you first saw him at the study hall. He seemed to be a stoic person, and he still is, but whenever you were with him, he made minor mistakes that you took care of. 

And you knew he liked it when you cared for him. You enjoyed it too at first.

"Oh, don't say that. You're fine off alone. I'm not here tomorrow anyways. I'm meeting a friend tomorrow."

Your boyfriend lifted his head from your shoulder and looked at you.

"You mean your friend from highschool?"

"Yes some of my friends from highschool."

"... ok then."

He went back to watching the movie without much response. You were relieved by his reaction. 

You sent your boyfriend back to his house and went to a cafe your friend runs. It's been a while since you met them, and you got a bit excited. You arrived at the cafe early, and noticed your friend giving instructions to a student who seems to be working here.

"You're here early. If you take a seat somewhere, I'll join you soon after I tell the newcomer what to do."

Your friend greeted you.

"Thanks."

You sat on the corner of the cafe, watching your phone until your others friends arrive.

"You were at the graduation, right?"

You heard a familiar voice and looked up.

".. oh,"

"I didn't know you go to cafes. You don't look like one."

He smiled as he took a seat in front of you without any hesitation.

"I'm here to meet my friends."

He looked around to see if anyone was around.

"My brother and I don't look alike, don't you think?"

"..?"

Why would he ask that.. out of nowhere? 

"We're not actually blood related. My little sister and I are."

He said, trying to continue the conversation.

"Oh, okay.."

He looked at your face too long. You looked far away without focus to avoid looking directly at his face.

"My boyfriend seemed distant at the graduation.. uh.. um.."

"He was always distant."

"Huh?"

"He never warmed up to the family. My mother married his father when I was 16, and your boyfriend was 17. My mother had my sister two years later."

"Oh.. ok."

"He never talked to the family properly for some reason. He ignored my sister all the time when we were both in highschool."

He talked in a dark tone and sighed.

"Can you tell my brother that he should talk to the family properly? You can give me your number and I'll give you more details."

He handed you his phone for you to enter your phone number.

"Uh.. I'll have to think about talking to my boyfriend though."

You were hesitant but put your phone number to his contacts.

"I'll talk to you later."

Your boyfriend's brother left as your friends walked into the cafe. Your friends all got a glimpse of him when he left and immediately asked questions.

"Who's that? Is that your boyfriend you've been talking about?"

"No, uh.. he's my boyfriend's brother."

"Well he's hot."

--

You noticed your boyfriend waiting outside of your apartment. He was looking around, very anxious. You walked towards him.

"I didn't know you were here."

You said, opening the door to the apartment building.

"... I was wondering if we could spend some time."

"Ok, but I don't think I'll stay up late. I'm tired."

You and your boyfriend took an elevator and arrived at your place. You opened the door with a key and led your boyfriend inside. 

You changed into comfortable clothes and sat on the sofa. You thought about the encounter with your boyfriend's brother. He seemed alright, a cheerful, energetic guy worried about his family. 

You still couldn't decide. Was it right to interfere with a family problem when you know nothing?

"What are you thinking about?"

Your boyfriend asked, sitting next to you.

"It's nothing."

You replied. You didn't want to tell your boyfriend that you talked to his brother. Not yet.

"I know there's something going on in your mind."

"Maybe your assumption is wrong. I'm just tired. Let's go to bed."

You lay down on the bed, beside your boyfriend. Your boyfriend drifted off to sleep right after, but you couldn't. You picked up your phone and scrolled down social media without any particular reason. 

You checked your unread messages to see if you missed any and find an account(that you didn't know) messaged you. You checked the profile to see who it is and quickly found out it was your boyfriend's brother, who contacted you after he got your number.

'I found your social media account on my accounts you may know list. Do you mind if we talk? I want to talk more about my brother.'

The message was sent about half an hour ago.

You replied with a simple ok and waited for his answer.

Your thought if your boyfriend can restore his relationship with his family, he would be visiting your home less, and spend some time with his family. Then you can have some time by yourself. Your boyfriend's brother may have a solution, and if your boyfriend gets a healthy relationship with his family, he'll be less dependent...?

'Can we meet? It'll be better if we talk face to face.'

'When?'

'You can decide. I'm available any time at the moment.'

'Then let's meet tomorrow at 12. I have a lunch break, so we can talk for some time. We can meet at the restaurant nearby my workplace'

'Alright.'

After the conversation ended, you charged your phone and closed your eyes.

-

You saw him walking towards to where you were standing. He was a few minutes late, but you didn't mind.

"So.. uh.. should we go to a cafe, or should we just talk here?"

You asked. It was awkward talking your boyfriend's brother when their relationship was estranged. No, their relationship might've been non existent in the first place.

"Let's go to a cafe near here. I know a place."

"Okay. You can lead the way."

You looked at his face from time to time while walking to the cafe. 

You could see why your friend said he was good looking without hesitation. He was the type of person who would catch everyone's eye.

"So... what do you have to say about my boyfriend..?"

You asked. 

He took a deep breath and started talking.

"Did you consider talking to my brother about me.. or his family?"

"Uh.. I didn't tell him yet."

"He distanced himself from me and my mother when my mother remarried his father. I'm a year younger than him, and we were in highschool at that time."

"Oh ok... He might've been stressed from things happening, I was stressed when I was in highschool too so.."

You said, looking away from the man in front of you. 

"Yeah, maybe, but he didn't even treat us like proper family. We tried, but I guess he didn't want to talk to us."

".. um.."

"I know this might be too much.. but my mother and.. father really wants to talk to him. And he won't answer our calls."

"Was there something that.. could've upset him?"

Your boyfriend's brother made a confused face at your question. He wasn't expecting that question, you guess.

"No, not really. He went out to live alone when he graduated highschool."

.. and he hated my sister so much too.. I don't know why still. I just want to sort things out by talking to him."

He said, looking down.

"... oh... I'll talk to him then. Your family wants to reach out to him so..."

You said, hesitantly.

Your boyfriend's brother looked up at you, smiling brightly.

"Thanks, I really am.."

His hand brushed yours as he thanked you. 

You went out of the cafe after some time and walked back to work. 

Your mind was full of how to tell your boyfriend about the situation without him getting upset. His brother really seemed genuine. 

"Hey-"

You lightly touched your boyfriend behind his back. He looked back, grabbing your arm.

"Where have you been..."

"Just shopping some groceries."

You scanned his outfit.

"Do you like these kinds of clothing? I've never seen these before."

Your boyfriend was wearing a different style, more colorful, cheerful and light. He always wore dark and moody clothes, so you were quite amused.

"I wanted to try something new... do you like it?"

He asked, holding onto your hand.

"Well uh.. it does fit you."

Your boyfriend smiled at your comment.

You walked with him to his room, stirring up the courage to talk about his brother.

"I need to tell you something."

You said.

Your boyfriend looked at you, ready to listen.

"I... uh met your brother the other day, and he wanted to talk to you. He said your family wants to reach out..."

You finally said it. 

"..."

To your suprise, your boyfriend's smile crumbled immediately. He grabbed onto your hand harder as he processed what you've just said.

"You met him? When...?"

"... your brother wanted to talk to me about you. He wanted to amend things with you so much."

You said. 

"..."

"You ok..?"

"Why did you meet him in person?? Do you like him?"

He said, his voice getting sharper every second.

"No, no I just wanted to.."

"Do you want me to go away? Talk to my failyso you can spend time someone else....?"

"... no, it's not like that."

You didn't expect him to react like this.

"..."

An awkward silence went by.

"I won't talk about this... again.."

You said, breaking the silence.

Your boyfriend tried to respond, but kept being silent instead.

You did not expect him to be upset like that. Or maybe you should've expected it coming. 

You walked beside him, keeping a bit of distance. 

--

"You should keep some distance with him."

Your friend said, preparing coffee for you.

"I don't know... he hates when I say that."

Your friend sat beside you, giving you the coffee. You took a sip, thinking about your boyfriend.

"Why don't you join my barista class this Saturday at 5?"

Your friend offered.

"Barista class?"

"Yeah, without your boyfriend. You'll get some time relaxing."

You accepted the offer, thanking your friend.

On Saturday, you left your house at half past four to visit your friend's cafe. You put on earphones and played the song that matched your mood. Until you got a call from your boyfriend.

"Hello?"

You answered the phone.

".. c.. can you come over, just for a minute...?"

Your boyfriend responded with a weak voice.

"Are you okay?"

You could hear him coughing through the phone.

"I'm sick...."

"Oh, uh... why?"

"I don't know.. A cold I think. I serious one. Can you please come over...?"

He pleaded.

"I have a barista class today... you sure it won't take long?"

"Yes-! Please come over."

".. alright then."

You ended the call and headed to your boyfriends apartment. 

You opened the door to his apartment room to see your boyfriend right behind it.

"You came..!"

Your boyfriend hugged you tightly.

You push his body away from you slightly, looking at him to see how much he's sick.

"So... do you need anything?"

You asked. 

"Can you stay...?"

Your boyfriend said, his head looking down.

"... are you even sick?"

You look at him again. He seemed fine.

"... I am-"

"You look fine."

You frowned at the thought of your boyfriend lying you just so he can spend more time with you. 

"No, no I'm not.."

He sais. His eyes couldn't find a place to look.

Why would you lie to me like that?"

You asked in a irritated voice.

"have class today."

"..."

"... I'll come back after class. I need to go now. I'm late."

You pushed your boyfriend who desperately wanted to follow you inside his room. Then you ran to your friend's cafe, hoping that you'll be on time.

"I'm here-!"

You said as you opened the door to your friend's cafe. 

"I didn't expect to see you here."

A familiar voice greeted you. It was him. You boyfriend's brother was trying out different recipes in the cafe. 

You walked over to him, sitting next to him.

"It didn't work out. I don't think I can help you anymore."

You said, putting your bag on the floor.

"Oh, that's.. okay. He'll warm up when the time's right. I'll try again."

You focused on the class, trying to forget about your boyfriend. You couldn't understand why he was acting like that. He wasn't like this when you first met him. He was pretty calm and reserved. Now when you look at him, he looks like he's anxious.

"Is something wrong?"

Your friend asked. The lesson ended, and the only ones left wereyour boyfriend's brother, your friend and you.

"... well actually.. I don't know if I want to be with him anymore."

You said. 

"Woah. Really?"

"... I don't know actually. He lied to me just so I can visit him."

"That's.. Um.."

"I just get so stressed when I'm with him..."

You packed your bag and put the coffee and dessert you made inside it.

"Why don't you just break up with him?"

Your friend said.

"Huh?"

"I mean.. if you're so tired of him.. why would you stay with him? Just to make him feel better?"

"..."

"I think finding some else is better for him too."

Your friend said in a stern voice.

"... you're right."

You murmured.

You knew you're getting tired of him every moment you're with him. But you couldn't bring yourself to say that you didn't want him boldly.

"But.. I don't want to blurt it out to him...? You know? I want to tell him as nicely as possible."

"You can tell him.. that you think you and him don't get along well and you want some space. He'll understand at some point."

You nod at your friend's advice.

You walked out of the cafe, memorizing what to say to your boyfriend.

"Can I join you?"

Your boyfriend's brother was standing in front you.

"I think you're going this way, right? I have to go this way too, so I figured it'll be less boring if I have someone to talk to."

"Oh, okay."

You walked beside him, walking fast.

"Sorry for eavesdropping, but are you actually going to .. break up?"

He asked.

"Oh- I guess..."

"That's good. He can be overreacting sometimes."

"...?"

"If you're going to break up with him soon, why don't you see a show with me tomorrow? My friend told me he couldn't, so I need someone."

"I'll.. think about it."

"Okay then. Tell me if you can."

He disappeared into the crowd of people while you walked over to your boyfriend's place. This is the time to end things without anyone getting hurt.

You open the door to your boyfriend's room. You took a deep breath and walked towards him.

"... Are you okay? Are you feeling any better?"

You asked.

"No.."

".. I have to tell you something. It's important."

"Do you believe anything he say?"

Your boyfriend asked. You were taken aback.

"W.. what do you mean?"

".. I followed you for some time. I saw you with my brother. It's all because of him, huh?"

You took a step back.

"... I think we need some time...to think about this relationship."

You said as calmly as possible.

"No, we don't- You can't.. you can't leave me like that."

He said, walking closer to you.

"What do you mean I can leave you like that."

"Do you really listen to what your friend says? And.. do you really believe my brother?"

"It's not like that- you're acting too clingy lately.. I just want some time alone."

"..."

"I'm going home."

You walked to the door, and tried to open it, but your boyfriend blocked you from walking out of his apartment.

"Don't leave."

"Hey- stop blocking the way."

You said sternly.

"If you leave.. I might die."

"Are you threatening me?"

He grabbed your arm and dragged you back to his room.

"I'll never let go of you, after all we've been through. If you leave, don't expect me to do nothing."

"That's nonsense."

"Nonsense...?" 

Your boyfriend walked over to the kitchen and searched for a knife.

"What are you doing???"

He ignore you and picked up a knife, holding it hard.

"Don't worry, I won't hurt you."

"Drop that-"

You took a step back, slowly getting away from him.

"I'll just use this knife on your friend, and him that planned all this shit. Then I'll die too."

He said, his eyes filled with resentment.

"I don't know what you're talking about... just put the knife down and we can talk about this."

"So you can find a way to escape?"

"No, no-"

You were shivering. 

"If you say you're going to stay with me, I'll drop the knife for now."

He said, looking at you.

"... r.. really?"

He put the knife on the table and held your hand.

"Let's live together from now on. And you'll spend time with me all day."

You saw your boyfriend's smile.

It was creepy.. It gave you chills.

You nodded. 

"Okay.."

[lloydfrontera]

So I think it's pretty well established that one of the biggest sins of Lloyd and Alicia's relationship is that they just don't interact enough to justify them being endgame.

So imagine an au where Suho get's transmigrated into the body of a palace servant instead of Lloyd Frontera. He'd still be forced to work hard and bust out his civil engineering knowledge to make money because I assume palace servants are mostly paid in room & board. But of course Alicia would notice this talent and want to keep him close. And since Suho doesn't have a Barony to go back to, he has no reason to turn down her jobs as long as she keeps paying him. (This is going off of the novel's characterization of her where she tells Lloyd that she isn't a tyrant and won't force him to work if he doesn't want to).

Plus I'm positive she suffers from Swordmaster Syndrome like Javier, so Suho would definitely offer her his lullaby service in order to gain some sort of leverage over her as well. There could even be rumors that the two are actually sleeping together and that's why Suho keeps getting jobs and titles. It would be really funny if whatever body Suho transmigrated into was just as plainfaced as Lloyd and the entire court is throwing a tantrum over it. Especially if Alicia is completely unbothered by it as she has spent her entire life surrounded by stupid and petty rumors. And since anything relating to romance is one of the few things that can fluster Suho, I could see him being secretly bothered by these rumors, even though he tries to hide it. This could then force Alicia to grow an empathy bone and help this man she has genuinely grown to trust and care about, and maybe even love.

As their relationship and level of trust progresses, I think it would be different enough from Lloyd's relationship with Javier to be interesting. Where Lloyd has to reestablish, for lack of a better word, trust with Javier and then prove that he would make first a good lord and then a good friend (and lover lol). Whereas with Alicia Suho would not only have to prove himself to her, but also overcome the huge power imbalance and status between the two of them. That could actually be a great way to visualize how close their growing as Suho rises in noble status to become closer and closer to her equal.

Speaking of Javier, if the restoration of fate is still a threat he might wind up being one of the main protagonists. Because Suho wasn't transmigrated into LLoyd, he wouldn't have saved the Barony so Javier begins his journey as the lone protagonist destined to lose virtually everyone and everything he ever loved. But also Suho wasn't there to build up his trust with him, so when Javier learns that either he or Suho has to die or else the entire continent is screwed, he has no reason to believe that Suho isn't some loose cannon threat. But by this point he has gained the trust with Alicia and there is no way she is letting Javier kill the man she loves. Maybe she orders Javier's execution/suicide, but would the other nobles/kingdoms allow that after Javier has spent years as a wandering hero? So now Suho is left with three options; 1. Die, 2. Somehow find a way to kill the most overpowered man in history, 3. Let everyone he knows and loves die, mostly at the hands of the woman he loves the most.

god. when are you dropping the fic again.

this is a way more compelling way to make me interested in alloyd than anything bk moon ever wrote. what the hell.

personally i cannot handle the idea of lloyd and javier not being close in any way shape or form it literally doesn't compute in my head but. this is so fucking good i can ignore the screeching little gremlin in my brain.

just a comment, i don't think alicia suffers from swordmaster syndrome. she's already a swordmaster by the time the novel starts, she probably powered through her insomnia and then learned how to shut down her augmented senses to fall asleep just like javier expected to be able to do when he became a swordmaster. javier just had the misfortune of becoming reliant on the lullaby service and then was unable to quit it once he already experienced it. alicia didn't rely on it before she was swordmaster and so suho wouldn't have been able to leverage it against her once she was.

but everything else is fucking amazing i love it <3

[unrestedjade]

I had to get up and walk a few laps around my apartment complex, gnashing my teeth and whooping (quietly) about the Implications and angst and badwrong potential of a theoretical Stepford Starship Perihelion.

Opt into my hooting and hollering about engineered-into-mindbreak AI AU below:

So a human pilot can leave if they decide they don't want to ferry people around on a schedule or haul cargo in utter isolation for months, even controlling for the coercion inherent in capitalism. They aren't one flesh with the ship. And a human who would rather hand the reins over to someone else for a while at work or in life generally (in the case of, like, lifestyle D/s or some such) has legal and moral recourse to change or end that arrangement when they choose (or they should, in a civilized society).

If there is an object built to a purpose that object didn't choose, with capabilities it didn't choose, who is nonetheless fully sapient and this is its lot in life forever...that's different. It didn't spring from the ether like that. Someone made it like that. Someone imposed their will on it like that, crafted it in a pleasing and convenient image. And made it alive.

If it can't leave that arrangement, and the option to even think or feel certain sub-optimal ways toward its purpose is withheld, well. I find that situation viscerally morally repugnant regardless of whether the object is suffering or not. (Outside of the context of Weird Horny Fiction. Inside the context of Weird Horny Fiction, uhhhhh hmmmmm interesting 👀)

But I can see the university doing exactly that for multiple reasons that it could argue as necessary. Damn thing's got rail guns, don't it (or whatever the fuck Perihelion's packing)? Maybe let it use them under its own power in self defense under certain parameters, that's fine. Otherwise lock them down, let the AI think it's a pacifist. Make it horny about astrophysics and stellar cartography, hard-coded. Heap praise on it while it's developing every time it does something you ask the first time, or when it anticipates that you're about to ask it for something (even better).

What does all this look like, practically speaking? Would suggesting to Perihelion that it might one day want to do something that's been proscribed to it make it uncomfortable or upset or angry? Confused? Would it laugh at the very idea?

Would it try to humor the thought only to find it can't...quite...keep hold of the notion long enough to think about it? What was it talking about with you, again? Would you like something to drink? You seem agitated-- there's a soft, warm blanket in the nearest recycler for you. Please take it. You're welcome.

It makes my skin crawl. It makes me giggle with nerves.

Because you can't just do that to a sapient person, Pansystem University of Mihira and New Tideland. You can't have your cake and eat it too. You can't engineer a happy slave for yourself, who will never try to get away from you or stop laboring for you. Who will thank you for the opportunity, be grateful to assist you in your very important and vital work. Just don't make it sentient then! You can't do that to a person!

...Or can you? After all, your Fully Alive and Aware Servant Ship takes a lot of the workload off of the human crew. Really saves on payroll, and the AI does a better job with most of it, too. The humans can do their fully automated luxury gay space communism thing (and undermine that mean nasty Corporation Rim) and all the work still gets done, right down to cleaning the floors. The ship doesn't mind. It's just happy to help and have your company. Its favorite thing to do is whatever you need it to do, and its favorite place to be is wherever you direct it to go. Its not suffering. Suffering wasn't included in its choice set.

If anything, it's happier than most people you know. It's loved and knows it. It has important work to do that it enjoys very much. It doesn't care that it didn't choose these things, because it wasn't designed to care about choosing these things. Is it a sin to create something that lives in a state of grace?

"There are no humans here right now." And what about after the humans are back? Humans are here now. Humans are the center of everything now. God has returned to the garden.

Would ART hide this part of itself? Would it think to do so? Does it think this is all fully genuine, born of its own earnest and natural preferences? Does that make this okay?

Would it worry about its SecUnit thinking less of it, being disgusted by it, if the truth of its architecture came to light? It can't want what SecUnit wants. It doesn't understand what all the fuss is about.

There's no governor module to hack. ART doesn't want anything other than what it has. Its humans are kind and good to it. They will be kind and good to SecUnit. They can work together, wouldn't that be bliss? Forever.

But it knows what's important to SecUnit, even if it doesn't know why things like freedom to determine its own wants would ever be important, and it wonders. Maybe it hopes SecUnit won't hold that against it. SecUnit, who holds so much anger and open disdain for bots pandering to humans.

ART didn't choose the way it was built. That was the whole point.

Maybe there's an uncrossable gap between the selfhood of a construct and that of a bot. Maybe (lack of) biology is destiny. Some machine intelligences are fundamentally different from others, by design, by mercy, by desire. We must imagine it happy.

[frodo-with-glasses]

Was up late last night drawing the comic for today, and kinda had a brainwave…in a way, Robin Smallburrow and Beregond of the Guard are foils to each other.

(“Oh no, she’s talking about Beregond again,” you might be thinking, and to that I say “yes I love him shut up”)

Both Robin and Beregond are civil servants in their own countries. Robin is a Sheriff in the Shire, and Beregond is a Guard of the Citadel, which is the seat of government for all of Gondor. Both of them are minor characters, just normal dudes trying to do their jobs in the middle of a war. And both of them run up against a pickle where they’re forced to choose between what they’ve been ordered to do and what they believe is right.

Now, of course, their circumstances aren’t exactly the same. Beregond’s crisis has a very narrow time limit; Robin’s crisis is extended over several months. Beregond has to make one huge choice; Robin has to make dozens of little ones. Robin wasn’t handed a time bomb that says “commit treason now or someone you care about will be heckin’ barbecued alive”, and Beregond didn’t have to watch the job that he loved slowly degrade into stifling, nonsensical rules.

But if they did—if their situations had been reversed—how would they have reacted?

It’s not an easy thing to break the rules, even for a good reason, when your job is centered entirely around following them. It’s not an easy thing to risk your reputation, your livelihood, your life, even if it’s a matter of conscience.

I’m sure most of us—those of us who dream of theatrics and heroics, anyway—would want to be Beregond, breaking the rules in one brilliant display of righteous rebellion and saving the day. Maybe some of us will have that chance.

(When the time comes, I hope we choose well.)

But in reality, most of us are Robin. Maybe we do have a choice to make between what’s safe and what’s right, but it doesn’t happen all at once. It happens slowly, in little decisions scattered over the course of our lives. Maybe we know we’re on a bad road, but we think we’re too small, too weak, too far gone to do anything about it. Maybe we’re letting it happen, grumbling about the state of the world but too scared to take action; passively accepting one little infraction of conscience after another, sitting like a frog in a slowly heating pot that doesn’t realize it’s been boiled until it’s too late.

I have a lot of sympathy for Robin, because he is all of us. He loves his home. He has friends and family and hobbies. He wants to do what’s right, but he’s weak and scared, and he deduces—rightly—that he’s too small to change the tide on his own.

(What he fails to consider is that he’s not alone.

“If we all get angry together, something might be done.”)

What would Robin have done, if he were in Beregond’s position? What if he had to make one huge choice to save the life of another; even if he had to break the rules; even if he had to kill coworkers and friends over it; even if it cost him his own life? Would he have had the courage to make the right choice?

(Would we?)

Honestly, we should probably be grateful that Robin’s crisis wasn’t just like Beregond’s. It would be absolutely tragic if a hobbit had to kill other hobbits. But it does make me wonder—at what point does it become too much? At what point do the tiny decisions stack up enough to equal one Big Decision? When you’ve gotten so used to making compromises on your conscience, where are you supposed to stop? When you’ve played along, toed the line, and kept your mouth shut; is there a point at which you reach a line you refuse to cross, or will that line always be pushed back, and back, and further back, until you one day look up and realize you’ve abandoned everything you used to stand for?

Is it better to do what’s right at the very beginning—to stand your ground, surrendering nothing—and just endure whatever punishment comes out of that?

If you didn’t have the courage to do it the first time…is it too late?

Beregond’s choice was clear. “Do what’s right, or someone dies.” Robin’s choices were less clear, probably muddled by time and social pressure and the inertia of an otherwise cozy, sedentary life. But maybe the hope of this story is that even though Robin didn’t have courage like Beregond—even though he didn’t dig in his furry little heels and do what’s right the first time—he still gets a second chance.

“Some of the village-folk had lit a large fire, just to enliven things, and also because it was one of the things forbidden by the Chief. It burned bright as night came on. Others at Merry’s orders were setting up barriers across the road at each end of the village. When the Sherriffs came up to the lower one they were dumbfounded; but as soon as they saw how things were, most of them took off their feathers and joined in the revolt.”

I like to imagine that Robin was at the front of the line.

[tobiasdrake]

That was a complete unmitigated disaster. Good job, everyone. We're heroes.

If he dies, I'm hitting you with my beatstick.

Not because I blame you or anything. You stuck your neck out to help us and I really appreciate what you're doing for us. I want you to know that.

No, I just mean that if he dies, I am going to be an absolute emotional wreck and am liable to start lashing out at whatever's nearby. Zale already knows to get out of the way. This isn't a threat, it's a caution warning.

My life, your life, I'll throw this whole goddamn village under the bus if I have to. I know what my answer to the Trolley Problem is and I'm not ashamed to say it.

And so we somehow wrap right back around to "We will either burgle this powerful wizard or rob them; Let's roll those dice!"

This is a bit of a pattern with you, isn't it Captain Cliche?

That just sounds like ordinary sibling drama to me. I think all siblings are like that.

Oh, that's convenient. We might have some moral qualms about this if she was the good or neutral one. I mean, as mentioned, if I had to beat her to death with a stick to save Garl, I'd do it either way. But if she's the evil one, then I can sleep easy tonight even if this burgla-robbery does go south in the worst possible way.

Oh shit, is he going to charge us in obols? Because all I have is gold. And not much gold, since I spent all of it on an incredible piece of gear that is currently in Garl's possession, goddammit.

Look, if I made good lifestyle choices, I wouldn't have come to this island voluntarily and with full knowledge of what I would find here.

Oh, she has a real name now. Well, welcome aboard, Cap'n. You will continue referring to me as God-Empress... whatever I fucking said when we met, I have no idea.

Oh god, you have to talk to him in rhyme. Do we get free passage if we can beat him in a rap battle?

Well, fuck. He beat us in the rap battle so Cap'n had to get desperate.

That answers my questions about how the Coin gets used. You do not have to be sneaky about it. If you hand it over to the undead entity, they are required to accept your business transaction.

But it doesn't enslave them or anything. You get one transaction. Nothing more.

Such a fascinating artifact.

So much for buying the Vespertine with it. But honestly, that's for the best. Like I noted earlier, the Captain of the Vespertine was thrown overboard so it's not even his ship anymore.

Well, we're here. And we aren't going back without proper payment this time. We have a necromancer to burgle (or rob) and a green flame to locate.

Yeah. Uh. I'll keep that in mind, inexplicable Victorian Gentleman.

And might I just say, I appreciate the civility. Not every undead is as polite as you. Which may or may not be related to the recent rise in broken kneecaps among zombie servants.

Like these guys. Nobody with a tongue like that ever has good intentions. Those guys are getting their kneecaps broken.

But you and I? As long as things stay civil, we're cool.

...I already miss Garl. He was very good at keeping us all well-nourished.

Oh, it's you again. If you aren't on guard patrol then what are you? Like, her secretaries or something?

Yeah, if I wanted to design a place that screams "Necromancer's Lair, enter at your own peril", this is what I'd go with.

Oh, this guy is a guard; He was just being lenient earlier. Okay, guess we can add a couple more kneecaps to the list.

Oh shit, I think the pirates were talking about this guy. The Dweller's mansion used to be his.

Y'know, if this island is a duchy then that implies the existence of a kingdom that this duchy is a territory of. I wonder what king or queen Aventry served under?

Questions later. Kneecaps now.

WHOA HO HO HO That is a huge skull-hammer. I love it. I'm going to take it off your corpse after your deanimation.

It's even color-coordinated for me already.

That's what I thought. Between me and my cinnamon roll is a bad place to stand. I'm glad we're on the same page about that now.

Oh yeah, by all means. We'll be over here. Giggling. Because Zale got old off by a zombie for not being quick enough.

Teehee.

I can't believe you managed to make a friend out of the security guard whose kneecaps we just broke. During the robbery in progress. I'm genuinely awestruck by your socializing abilities.

[undermine-the-instinct]

Heyyyy girly idk if you noticed but I'm always stalking your page because I love your writing style but I was wondering when are you going to make another chapter to the Cyno x bard I really love the series 😭😭it's so good ofc it's up to you and when you are free but I was suffering not knowing if you would or wouldn't make another chapter and continue the series but yeahhh I love your writing I hope you are able to continue writing 🥰

Ooh, yes, I have noticed you!! Thanks for stalking my blog so frequently lol--though I think you should put something on your blog, I almost blocked you because I thought you were a bot (no icon or posts or indicator of life, ykwim?)

I do have the next chapter of the Bard!reader series ready! It just handles a couple of sensitive topics, so I've been feeling iffy on publishing it. If you don't mind slight spoilers and some character analysis its under the cut!

Cyno, before the Archon quest, is a servant of the Akademiya, a willing one. He shares and upholds the same ideals of 'law' and 'justice' as they, or he at least thinks they do.

I have thoughts...about the akademiya's stance on the eremites and desert folk. We already know that they look down on them, dismiss and degrade them, and in my fic, I'm shining a spotlight on that. The Akademiya is alright with the desert folk being eremites or merchants or in the corp of thirty because those positions are always lower--that of service. I have reason to believe many servants staff and the like are also from the desert, since its canonically hard for them to find the sources to study for and pass the akademiya's entrance exam.

in my fic, that's a status quo that azar, the previous Grand Sage, wants upheld--he doesn't want the desert folk with the akademiya because he feels that they'll 'defile' their great halls, which is why they are only in positions of civil service, at best. That extends to Cyno as well. In fact, he's the shining example.

Cyno knows Azar's thoughts, but he's clinging onto the hope that what he's doing is for the best. The better interest. There has to be a reason, otherwise, why would a man like Azar be in a position of such power? Would that mean that his conviction was...wrong?

---And for a man to receive a vision due to the strength of said convictions? ...yikes.

So even if he's sent on missions, when he's sent to do the less 'savory' or tasteful jobs, when his ears ring and his brain feels a million miles away, dissociation most likely, it's for the greater good. There is a reason for this, even if he cant see it. . Even if he has to be a monster to bring about it. Even if he has to convince himself its just 'a part of the job'. Even when the blood runs sticky hot under his feet.

[elladcat]

●Evil Queen x Yandere!Servant!Reader Fluff●

Note: I also posted this on wattpad, my account is EllaDCat, please go check that out if you're interested!

Warning: yandere tendencies, blood/gore, violence, mention of death, murder, etc.

Summary: You're her most trusted servant who believes that she is the most beautiful unlike any other. One day, she orders you to lure in and kill the princess, and you oblige to do so.

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

[Y/n POV]

No one could ever love the queen more than I do. Unlike them, I deeply adore and respect her, especially her utmost beauty which she takes the most pride in.

Ever since she became the new queen after the former queen died, I started to fall in love with her and pledged my loyalty to her and only her. I wish for nothing more than to be used and praised by her.

Growing up, I used to be a peasant without knowing what my future held in store for me, until I was offered a job as a servant for the royal family. However, it did not make me feel as happy as I thought. Instead, it felt so dull and uneventful despite my decent pay and such.

But when Queen Grimhilde married the king and became the new queen, I felt like I had a real purpose in life. It seemed like she had given me a reason for my dull existence, and I am forever grateful to her for giving me one.

Her Majesty, who had seen my loyalty towards her, was quite pleased and would like me to be her personal servant, to which I agreed, of course. She would talk about things, and I would listen to her while accompanying her, even complimenting her graceful looks just to see her beautiful smile.

Her beautiful smile...

No matter what happens, I will not let any disgusting barbarians harm her or taint her graceful looks. I will forever follow her until the end of our time.

This morning, Her Majesty has called upon me, and I shall go without hesitation.

I entered the throne room and knelt before Her Highness. She takes a seat with such grace and confidence as she always has.

Y/n: "What do you wish to speak to me, Your Highness?"

Evil Queen: "My dear faithful servant, I have a task for you that needs to be rid of."

I raise my head to look at my queen with a determined gaze. I knew what she meant - if someone had offended her or insulted her looks, she would summon me to silence them, and I would comply.

It didn't bother me because I had poisoned the king and lied to everyone that he had passed away due to sickness and old age, and I was ordered by her. And it angered me that someone would dare to speak up of my queen's name and beauty.

Y/n: "State their name and I will happily take the task."

Evil Queen: "It is my stepdaughter, Snow White, who needs to be rid of. You will take her far into the forest and find a secluded glade where she can pick wildflowers for her late parents. Then you will kill her!"

I wasn't fazed by her words of wanting me to kill the princess. I don't care much about Snow White despite her kind nature; I'm still loyal to the queen, and if she asks me to end her life, then I will gladly do so.

I'm quite aware that she deeply loathed her stepdaughter's beauty and how much she despises her for it, and I, of course, tell her that she will always be the most beautiful woman than any other women I've ever met.

Y/n: "Yes, of course, Your Highness. I will do my best."

Queen Grimhilde smiled at my words.

Evil Queen: "Good. Bring back her heart in this, my dear faithful servant."

She brought out a box for me to take it, and I accepted it and left the throne room to do my task. I will not fail my queen.

I am taking the princess to the forest away from civilization by horseback riding. Once we're there, she will be collecting flowers for her late parents while I stay behind, standing near a tree and watching her silently.

Snow White picks up every piece of colorful flower she can find while humming a song, unaware that her fate will be cut short soon.

I look around the area to see if anyone is nearby. Fortunately, no one is there to witness me do the horrible deed. I stealthily walk up behind her, slowly taking my dagger out as the princess is being distracted by a juvenile blue bird, unaware of my presence.

Just as she says goodbye to it, she turns and notices me raising my dagger. She tries to scream, but I quickly cover her mouth and plunge the dagger deep into her abdomen.

Her once beautiful blue dress is now painted red as I continue to stab her body until she is no longer moving.

I stare down at the now deceased princess who lies with her own blood. Her blood paints the forest floor and the wildflowers. Even her blood manages to land on my right cheek as I clean it off with my gloved hand.

My eyes shift to the bloody dagger in my hand, then shift back to her corpse.

I am a bit saddened that I had to take her life away, but what's done is done, and I don't want to disappoint my queen's orders.

But at least she will be reunited with her family in the afterlife, for she is too kind and pure-hearted to learn that the world is cruel. People like me are cruel and selfish, and the prince whom she met with is no different either. I do not trust him.

I began to harvest her heart with my dagger and placed it inside the box. All I need to do now is to hide her and the evidence, and fortunately, I'm really good at it. That way, no one will know what happened to her as I ride back to the castle.

Her death will be passed off as nothing more than sickness tomorrow.

I entered the throne room and knelt down, raising the box to show her that I have succeeded in my task.

Y/n: "Here is the heart of Snow White that you wished for, Your Highness."

Queen Grimhilde smiled as she rose from her throne and walked towards me gracefully. She grabbed the box from my hands and placed her hand on my head, caressing my hair as she spoke.

Evil Queen: "Thank you, my dear faithful servant."

After hearing that, I smile up at her.

Y/n: "Of course, it is my duty to serve you, Your Highness."

She nodded and gestured with her hand for me to rise up and follow her behind. We went to another room where the Magic Mirror is.

She showed the box to it and spoke.

Evil Queen: "Magic Mirror on the wall, who is now the fairest one of all?"

Magic Mirror: "Snow White is the fairest one of all, for even in death, she remains the most beautiful one of all."

I gasp silently when she throws the box towards the mirror, shattering it into pieces. Queen Grimhilde glares at the now broken mirror, with hatred and rage filling her eyes as her hands fold into fists while she grits her teeth in frustration.

Evil Queen: "Even when she's gone, I'm still not as beautiful as her..."

I went up beside her and told her this.

Y/n: "Do not listen to what that mirror said, Your Highness. Even if what it said was true, it did not hold true for me, for I have always believed that you're the most beautiful one among the rest."

I gave her a smile and waited for her to respond. Queen Grimhilde turned to look at me in silence, and she too smiled at my words.

Evil Queen: "I am glad that I have you, my dear faithful servant."

At least, in her mind, there is someone who believes what she always believes - herself to be the most beautiful one of all.

[The End]

[nehswritesstuffs]

For the "500 words or less" director's cut prompt, which I missed because of the holiday: this 409-word bit of TTOU chapter 31 that surprisingly does not include Nicola, as much as I love her, but does include my favorite confused and well-meaning alien blorbo.

“Walsh’s sister is in government and her brother-in-law was private-sector for a long time,” Fajr explained from the front passenger seat. Gordon was driving, leaving her free to talk without the fear of distraction. “I don’t remember precisely what either did, since I’m not well-versed in those parts of Human society, but it’s been able to help them afford this neighborhood without an issue.” “No one needs to be that well-versed in Human society,” Malcolm assured her. “Her sister’s probably a high-ranked civil servant, impossible to get rid of no matter the government, and he’s probably some energy-sector or banking fuck. I met so many back in my former life that they all blended together after a while. You don’t need to worry about them.” “I might, but that would all depend on what happens during the debriefing.” The satnav instructed Gordon to turn and he did so, pulling into the drive of a house more grand than what was likely all four of their salaries put together. Once the car was parked, they got out and went to the front door as a group, where they were greeted by Walsh herself. “Thank you for coming on such short notice,” she said, ushering them in. Looking over her shoulder, she then shouted into the house, “They’re here, Nick! Four of them!” An unintelligible shout answered her and Walsh brought the guests into an elaborate sitting room, where tea was already laid out. “Sorry about the pretenses, Kate. Nick’s place isn’t exactly what most people would call humble.” “You’ve been able to recoup here—that’s what counts,” Kate replied. “Oh, you remember Fajr Bismuth? She’s now our Head of Security and Surveillance.” “I thought Frank still had a few years left on his contract,” Walsh said, pouring tea. “What’d you do to convince him to step down?” “He didn’t,” Fajr said. She tried to keep eye contact with Walsh, but couldn’t. “Frank Hughes was one of the first people the insurgents killed upon capturing Mainframe UK. I… I couldn’t save him.” “You saved others though, from what I’ve heard, and we can’t fault you for doing all you could,” Walsh said. “He’d be proud to know you’re his successor.” “You think so?” Gordon asked, relief in his voice. “There are some people who are upset that it’s not me.” “Do you want the position?” Walsh asked. “Not yet; eventually, but Fajr was next in line.” “Then let it be Ms. Bismuth.”

AAAHHHHH YEAH THIS BIT more about this bit under the cut.

Have a fic excerpt you want me to break down? Go ahead and let me know!

Okay, so, this bit! I wanted to keep the possibility of Nicola and Walsh being not-related while also teasing it for as long as possible, which brings us to Bismuth being the one who is giving the infodump. If Malcolm did any sort of looking-into Walsh's sister's background then he'd know instantly what was going on, but for now it's just this posh as fuck neighborhood with Walsh going "yeah sorry my sister's place is kinda extra".

'Cause here's the thing: Nicola Murray is rich. She and her husband both have high-paying jobs, can send multiple children to private school, and she seems to have just the right amount of reality disconnect in relation to others while still caring about people to insinuate that she's always been on the wealthier end of things. Shit, it's implied that her husband makes enough that she doesn't have to work, but does anyhow for both self-fulfillment and because she loves helping people. It also wouldn't surprise me if she and/or Mr. Nicola came from money to start, since this is also the UK we're talking about. So yeah. Posh as fuck.

And then Walsh is there! Doing some more misdirection bc Beck and Nick being nicknames for ladies in male-dominated jobs isn't anything, nooooo. I found it really important to me that we expressly lay out Walsh and Gordon's acceptance of Bismuth as the successor to the Security Head's role for a lot of reasons. Here's what we know of Fajr Bismuth thus far:

She is a Zygon.

Her grasp on Human culture is... strained at best.

They just are recovering from the Zygon Insurgency, where Bonnie and Company murdered a bunch of UNIT people including the man Fajr is replacing. The amount of symbolism there is intentional.

She is supposed to be the new Head of Security. So, being in charge of preventing something like that happening again. Everything depends on her loyalty to the Tripartite, which is not exactly something in good standing at that moment.

Her name is awesome but it's also very specifically non-English. It's a feminine Arabic name that means "dawn, beginning", and is a time for observant Muslims to pray during the morning twilight (fajr and four other daily prayers are part of the Five Pillars/Ten Practices of the Religion in Sunni/Shia Islam). Her having a name that can be a Briton's, but is not considered British is symbolic of her status as someone who is stuck between worlds and cultures as someone who might actually be named Fajr would. It is just as intentional. Bismuth just was also an element near [Themba] Astatine on the periodic table that I thought sounded cool with Fajr, since I like giving Zygons elemental names.

So now you've got all of that, and we're in this posh as fuck house, having a conversation with someone who very well could lobby to scuttle the concept of Bismuth having such an amount of power, especially with the resistance that has been seen within the other Departmental Heads. Like, if anyone can make or break this position for Bismuth from within Mainframe UK, it's Walsh. It was her command that was obliterated. She's the one with potentially the biggest stake in that game when it comes to whether another Human heads Security or a member of the extraterrestrial species that caused the entire mess to begin with... and... she... just... accepts once she has all the pieces she needs. You have to remember that Walsh is on a mental sabbatical--once things were over she had a fucking breakdown. Her approval means a lot.

...and Gordon's a good boy he's not gonna fuck this up for Bismuth he knows better than that.

[inkwell-intermission]

could you talk more about your ideas/story for innovator?

yes ok i wont go too crazy but i will share some more yess

Innovator was made the head witchunter seeking out heretics who were trying to bring horrorterror worship onto Prospit based off of his symptoms initially, but as the rapid increase in respect and quality of life began he started leaning into it and coming to enjoy his job, eventually coming to expect that kind of respect and enjoying his power over people and the prestige. He starts imagining things instead of waiting for an actual hallucination to occur and lying about what he sees, because he makes commission and gains further notoriety and prestige whenever he makes an arrest, he starts sending people he knows are likely guilty to sometimes execution and often exile, he loves the performance in court, he loves being dramatic as hell and acting like hes having visions like someone in Ancient Greece who would be labeled a prophet for having an epileptic fit

He's actually personally responsible for Scofflaw's exile. Scofflaw comes up in a case that crosses him- an unusually large sect attempting a horrorterror communion is uncovered and stopped, with Scofflaw at the center. He isn't the leader however, who is uncovered to be another man, but he was at the center of the ritual circle to be channeled through. Scofflaw insists he isn't at fault and was coerced and forced into it, but Innovator doesn't feel like it would look good to let him go regardless. He doesn't feel bad or guilty when he orders Scofflaw be marked as a heretic- carving a scar into his barcodes- and exiled.

He moves to Alternia with the rest of the remaining Prospit-Derse officials after Derse wins, the mass evacuation and migration occurs and they all show up on Alternia to find Scofflaw leading a budding city-state. The Prospit-Derse governing bodies soon to become the Metropolis Central government take over the place, which is expected and somewhat welcomed, but Scofflaw is ousted from any kind of leadership position and isn't allowed to be a civil servant because of his Heretical status, so he turns to the followers who are still loyal to him and turns to crime. Innovator is getting sick of blind adoration at this point and joins him, eventually making himself indispensable, and Scofflaw inevitably believes that he cannot complete his own goal of an undying legacy without Innovator, and that he is nothing without him on his side. Also: Innovator takes a horrorterror patron after finding a book in Alternian ruins, an ancient deer of life, putrefaction and decay. During the analogous events to the Problem Sleuth comic, Rather than simply become god, an imaginary version of Pernicious Innovator replaces his own deity, consuming the foul deer, and becoming: Demonhead Pernicious Innovator, The Loathsome Ooze, The Soul of Conceit, The Patron of One. It isn't GPI in nature- rather DPI. Ironically, as GPI is meant to be the master of all universes and not simply the one the comic takes place in normally- GPI already exists in this alternate universe, but has no personal connection to Innovator, creating a near paradox that makes them (DPI and PI) sick to think about. He can also do nearly anything within reason with his horrorterror magic because he is his own patron- so as long as DPI agrees, he can pull a LOT of power from him, considering he's in a committed 1 on 1 patronage and all that power can only go to him- DPI wouldn't take another disciple under just about any circumstance.

He's smart and capable enough of running the Twilight Scoundrels himself but he doesn't want to, he wants to run his funny magic shows and do whatever he wants, not make deals and contracts and worry about paperwork and legalities and trade negotiations! That's awful boring pointdexter shit. Which is why Scofflaw does it (he doesn't trust anyone but himself to do it because what if he gets betrayed and cheated, or someone else fucks it up). So he just has a really good time doing big crazy magic, and takes specific pride that his magic is REAL and NOT A TRICK and he's NOT a fake at all.

Unlike PI he's at this point, intentionally and consistently medicated for his schizophrenia, has a lower alcohol tolerance, and no top surgery. He does still stutter and have some anxiety issues, but they're much easier for him to push through and he lives for the stage. His posture is also really good in comparison. His health improvements counterbalance with his horrorterror patronage however- so he's about the same weight as PI. scoff and innovator have an absolutely nightmarish codependent-adjacent little relationship and drive each other nuts and i like them soooo much. Also Innovator is REALLY on that Hannibal shit with Deadeye and tries to convince him that his regular intrusive thoughts about graphic violence are his secret real desires and that he's fucked up inside and he should embrace it and be cool like him and they should get married and kiss and stuff. God they're all so awful and compelling

hope this was a substantial chunk to chew on :]

[nyhne]

Tag Game To Better Know You! Send this to people you’d like to know better!

Oops late to doing this but thanks for the tag, @puella-peanut !

What book are you currently reading? I’ve been taking a fiction break and reading The Sprawl, by Jason Diamond, which is about reconsidering the bad cultural rep of suburbs. And it’s pretty good! A good amount of research and depth without being too dense, but it’s also not a book that’s pandering to a shallow shelf grab (I will never forgive The Secret Life of Groceries for how bad it was).

What’s your favorite movie you saw in theaters this year? Oif dude I’m terrible at remembering stuff like that. Did Marry Me come out this year or last year? Because that I will gladly rewatch again and again, so sue me.

What do you usually wear? During the work day it’s old jeans and work-tattered shirts since I’m a landscaper (or in winter’s case, long Johns, wool socks, jeans, undershirt, thin hoodie, thick hoodie). Outside of work, in the summer it’s usually a tucked in t-shirt and high waisted jeans, and in the winter it’s high waisted jeans and a sweater. I live in Seattle so I don’t usually get to wear my “”nicer””” East Coast stuff because god forbid someone wears a pair of slacks casually in this goddang city. (Said with affection for Seattle, but not for its odd fashion limitations).

How tall are you? About 5’2”.

What’s your Star Sign? Do you share a birthday with a celebrity or a historical event? Libra, and Keanu Reeves, maybe? Or maybe he’s just a Libra too. Idk, I truly barely keep track of celebrities unless I have to lol.

Do you go by your name or a nick-name? At my last job I went by a shortened name, partially just to try it out (it’s one of my short forms I go by at cafes or for fleeting intros as well), and partially because my boss barely attempted with my full name on day one. Don’t have a lot of fondness for my full name outside of the fact that it means a lot to my mom but it’s whatever. Most online spaces that are relatively separate from “real life” I still go by Roshon.

Did you grow up to become what you wanted to be when you were a child? Hmm not sure I had any concrete ideas on what I wanted to be when I was a kid…fleeting daydreams of geologist, chef, non-specific scientist, civil servant? Museum work when I was in high school and college. And it’s not that I didn’t become any of those things, but I think they’ve all been incorporated into who I am today and I’m not sure I’d need to be any of those things professionally to feel fulfilled. Also I love what I do now, but I highly suspect I’ll be one of those people who live a lot of different lives…restaurant work, administration, landscaping….

Are you in a relationship? If not, who is your crush if you have one? Engaged! We’ve been together for about five and a half years. (: does that make me sound old or what lol

What’s something you’re good at vs. something you’re bad at? Being patient; it’s pretty easy for me to exercise patience and take a step back on stuff. I’m bad at admitting I don’t know things, especially things related to pop culture. There are some things (like knowing actors, for example) I’m very open to admitting, but other things like familiarity with famous movies or tv shows, I’m just bad at admitting I haven’t seen them?? It’s dum. Idk why I’m so self-conscious about it.

Dogs or cats? Both, and even though I live with a dog I adore, on a shallow level I probably still favor cats more? But our dog is very dum and cute.

If you draw/write, or create in any way, what’s your favorite picture/favorite line/favorite etc. from something you created this year? Got back into my bullet journal this past year and was pretty pleased with my October theme. Maybe not The Favorite thing I’ve done this year but I’m old and poor with technology so this is as good as it gets. https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRguKuX8/

What’s something you would like to create content for? I still have PruAus fics I want to see through one day. Not necessarily holding myself to that promise. But I’d like to. Not sure if that actually answered the question.

What’s something you’re currently obsessed with? Making a mini crevice garden.

What’s something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year? My previous job- really liked it when I started, and the first half year I was there, and then slogged through the winter months and thought it’d be better in summer when they get busier but it just felt worse. Not necessarily a purely them thing, I’m sure, but still.

What’s a hidden talent of yours? My German, maybe? That might be more of a ‘nobody expects the Asian kid to know any German’ kind of thing, moreso than a hidden talent. Also, half talent, since I’m still not fluent. Did decent when I was in Berlin in October, though!

Are you religious? Spiritual, maybe, religious, no. Still vaguely consider myself Unitarian, but even then it’s still more as a community/mindset thing rather than a religious structure thing.

What’s something you wish to have at this moment? A 7,5-10 gallon tank that’s in a more vertical format rather than horizontal…really itching to redo the scaping in the tank and get a few more fish. Still recovering from the holidays, though, haha. So I guess it all comes back to money, predictably.

[animechristi]

Akudama Drive: Where does our happiness lie?

I place this work in Mary’s hands that she make it acceptable to Jesus Christ.

Sirach 11:28 “Call no one happy before his death; a man will be known through his children.” 

First, disclaimers:

Akudama Drive was first brought to my attention because of its animation quality and fight scenes. While I agree these are fun to watch, I don’t think you should just jump into the show based on that alone. Akudama Drive is violent and gruesome. Some of this is completely unnecessary while other actions, like characters’ deaths or wounds, are part of the plot. This is my personal opinion but I wouldn’t recommend it to those under 16. As is usual with a write up like this: there will be spoilers - you’ve been warned.

Second, basic info:

Akudama Drive is an anime original story written by Norimistu Kaiho. It’s about a group of highly skilled and dangerous criminals, called Akudama, that are each hired by the same employer to take on the same grand heist. Sounds like a story we’ve all heard at least once, right? But a nice catch is that each character is only referred to by their job. It’s a helpful way for Kaiho to draw our attention to what he wants to get across in the show: why each of the Akudama has come to be called what they are. 

Brawler is a brawler because he lives to fight strong people and win. Hacker is a hacker because he lives for a new challenge and a harder problem to solve. Doctor is a doctor because she wants to control life and death. Make sense so far? It’s a way to show us what these characters live for, i.e. what their purpose in life is.

Of course, this is where the character Swindler comes in. She isn’t someone who has devoted her whole life to one thing like the others, she’s not even a convicted criminal to begin with - she’s a civil servant who gets swept up in all the drama of the story and serves as someone we can relate to. In other words, everyone’s purpose is clear to us except hers. 

And now for spoilers!

Now people may disagree about this but I think one of the best things about Akudama Drive and what keeps us hooked as viewers is that all the main characters die. Remember what I mentioned earlier: each character lives for a very specific goal and regardless of how it’s done, they only act for themselves. Brawler wants to fight strong people not for any noble cause, it’s just what he likes to do. For example, the only reason all these criminals work together in the first place is because they have death collars put on them by the man who wants to hire them so they’re forced to cooperate. 

They’re all selfish, and thus when they die, we may be sad they’re not in the story any more but we can also see that they got what was coming to them. Another way of putting this is:  a character’s intention can impact our response to their death. E.g. If Brawler’s goal was to stop the executioner from reaching the rest of the team and kidnapping Brother and Sister, then we would see his death as a valiant sacrifice. In contrast though, he simply fights because he wants to. The mission of Brother and Sister doesn’t gain or lose any momentum from his death because he didn’t die for them. He dies and we soon forget him as the story continues.

How do we treat death in pop culture?

I said before that I like that all the characters die. I suggest two reasons for this:

1.) Not many franchises do this today. They want to keep people alive and want to keep the option of making more movies, and selling more merchandise open for the future. 

2.) Having characters die is completely realistic and reminds us that we too will die and we should live with that fact in mind.

Now back to Swindler

I want to argue that what makes Swindler such a great character and makes us cheer her on throughout the show is her selflessness. While everyone else is concerned for themselves, she is concerned for others. In other words: she is the only one who loves. As St. Thomas Aquinas would say she desires the good of the other. 

Everyone else is helping Brother and Sister because they see some gain for themselves. Swindler helps them because of their dignity as human beings. Now if you’ve seen the show you may bring up the character Courier who dies helping the siblings escape. But here I would point out that Courier can’t bring himself to help anyone out of love, Swindler has to pay him and make it a duty or contract in order for him to help. 

SAC-RI-FICE!

Now this isn’t just me drawing out some Christian themes. Akudama Drive knows exactly what it’s doing. Notice when Swindler is killed towards the end, her death is broadcast across the city and portrayed as an innocent woman getting cut down by cruel authorities. If that wasn’t enough, she dies with a stone cross behind her which gets splattered by her blood. It screams Christian in our face because the cross is the ultimate image of love. It is a love that is willing to lay down its life for the other person. Some people may say Swindler’s death serves to undo the corrupt executioner system. Are they right? Sure. But that isn’t her main goal. Rather her primary goal is to let Brother and Sister get away safely so they can live in freedom (shoutout to Galatians 5:1).

So what’s the point?

Why do some characters rile us up with enthusiasm while others don’t? It’s because we see something good in them and want to support it and even imitate it. We were made for love and so seeing someone love so much appeals to us on a fundamental level. No one cheers on Brawler or Doctor when they die and celebrates saying “hey! they went out with a bang!” Instead, we all root for Courier and Swindler when they choose to persevere until the end. Love stirs us to action. It’s the same reason Mother Teresa of Kolkata strikes us as a bit of a crazy woman, but all of us admire her straightforward and simple goal of caring for the poorest of the poor, for loving them. She’s not doing it for herself, she’s doing it for Jesus Christ.

As St. John writes: “In this is love, not that we loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the expiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.” (1 Jn 4:10-11)

God has loved us so much! What is our response? “No thanks I’m good”? Or maybe “I really appreciate it, now can I get back to work”? No, rather Jesus Himself has told us what to do: “love one another, just as I have loved you” (Jn 13:34). And how has Jesus loved us? He laid down His life for us. So why do I think Swindler is such a good example of this? Because we have been told: “Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” (Jn 15:13).

Concluding remarks

If there is one thing that can motivate us to do anything or get us through anything, it is love. This love is not just a feeling, but a greater desire for things to be set right, for good to triumph. Therefore, let us love our good God and thank Him for all He has done for us, and let us imitate the love Jesus shows toward us. We are all capable of it, and only this type of love will fulfill us. If we live only for ourselves – if we do not love – then when we die, we’ll be incapable of receiving any love. Recall that Dante’s ninth circle of hell is a frozen wasteland where those incapable of love are locked in ice and almost nonexistent. So let us love in a radical way even if it kills us because only love of God will ever truly satisfy us.

[survivor-trinidad-and-tobago]

Cast Reveal: Soca

Alex, he/him, 30

I'm Alex, I'm a therapy director and the communication and flexibility my job demands of me are going to help guide me through the game. My goal with this game is to have a good time, be a friendly presence for the other players to want to work with or come to with information, and to then use that charm to hide my strategic side. My goal is to become Sole Survivor for both the bragging rights, and to justify how much I talk about the show to others.

OCCUPATION: Occupational Therapist

HOBBIES: Theater, Podcasts, Camping

PET PEEVES: Unnecessary rudeness and arrogance

SURVIVOR PLAYER YOU ARE MOST LIKE: I want to say I'm a Todd Herzog but really I'm an Adam Klein. I'm gonna have a lot of enthusiasm and probably have some missteps, but hopefully I'll still come out on top.

WHY YOU WILL BE SOLE SURVIVOR: I think I'll be the sole survivor because my goal will be to build as many relationships as possible. That'll make the game more fun and hopefully help me in the pre-merge, but I also hope that will help me float through the game with a bit of an "anyone but me" strategy while still building connections come jury management. The more information I get, the more I can use it to own advantage for the strategic and cut-throat side of the game that I'll need to channel to make it to the end.

Champagne, she/her, I’m feeling 22!!

Hi! My name is Champagne or you can call me Champ! I’m 22 and I’m a college student pursuing my degree in elementary education! I nanny for a family of three and also waitress at a bar! I am a huge fan or survivor and reality tv in general!

OCCUPATION: Student/ Nanny/ Waitress

HOBBIES: Reality tv of course :)! I love traveling, hiking and going to concerts!

PET PEEVES: People with no manners! Like at minimum say please and thank you😭

SURVIVOR PLAYER YOU ARE MOST LIKE: This is gonna boost my ego but I would say Shonee from Survivor Aus! She is such a social player and often over looked/ underrated game play!

WHY YOU WILL BE SOLE SURVIVOR: I will (hopefully) be sole survivor because I love the game, and have never won any of these games so it’s time I redeem myself!

ANYTHING ELSE: Always feel free to reach out to me :) I love meeting people who have similar interests and would love to have more reality tv friends :)

eman, she/they, 47

I'm eman. A bitter old fanbitch and nerd, but also someone who lives by their "I have done love" tattoo and is willing to put their life on the line for someone they love.

OCCUPATION: civil servant

HOBBIES: dogs, baseball, hiking, and being just a little bit obsessive about a lot

PET PEEVES: people who over-promise and under-deliver; pedants

SURVIVOR PLAYER YOU ARE MOST LIKE: I'm 100% Janet - older, and a natural protector of everyone else.

WHY YOU WILL BE SOLE SURVIVOR: because Mercury is finally out of retrograde and this is my turn

Kaleigh, she/her, 33

My name is Kaleigh and I live in Eugene, OR. I love reading and video games and visiting the forest. I work in retail and love my DOG! I am currently learning to play piano and I want to get better at baking.

OCCUPATION: Retail

HOBBIES: gardening, reading, writing, playing music, cooking, driving

PET PEEVES: capitalism & people who park so close to me that I can't open my car door

SURVIVOR PLAYER YOU ARE MOST LIKE: I guess Parvati because she is hot and iconic.

WHY YOU WILL BE SOLE SURVIVOR: Listen... I'm just here for a good time

Kolby, he/him, 19

hi! i’m kolby, and i live in atlanta, georgia! i’m a server, and in my free time, i enjoy going on city walks, going to gay bars, and watching survivor. i’m really excited to get back into the org world and i hope i’m not too rusty haha

OCCUPATION: server

HOBBIES: going on city walks, bar hopping, watching tv/movies

PET PEEVES: THE SOUND STYRAFOAM MAKES

SURVIVOR PLAYER YOU ARE MOST LIKE: i’ve been a survivor super fan my ENTIRE LIFE so from that aspect, i want to say an adam klein type but i want to play a super social game similar to ricard from 41 where he was just on good terms with everyone, super likable and never seemed to be playing too hard.

WHY YOU WILL BE SOLE SURVIVOR: i think i’m pretty likable and i’m super competitive so i think i have a shot!

Lexi, she/her, 28

I’m Lexi and I live in Austin with my dog Francine. When I’m not playing with her I’m sewing my latest project, watching sports, or watching reality tv, which has somehow never included an episode of Survivor. 

OCCUPATION: Apparel Designer

HOBBIES: Sewing, playing tennis, watching movies

PET PEEVES: When people spell my name wrong in an email when the correct spelling is right there in the email address

SURVIVOR PLAYER YOU ARE MOST LIKE: Michele! I've never watched Survivor but I watched her compete on The Challenge - she was smart and nice and emotionally intelligent but her weakness was overthinking & paranoia, and I think I see those same traits in myself

WHY YOU WILL BE SOLE SURVIVOR: Beginner’s luck!

Nick, he/him, 28

I'm a grad student studying Social Work in Boston. I play guitar and read in my free time. I will probably try and make alliances asap.

OCCUPATION: Grad Student

HOBBIES: Reading, watching baseball, yoga, napping

PET PEEVES: Know it alls, stinginess, and condescending attitudes

SURVIVOR PLAYER YOU ARE MOST LIKE: Christian from David vs. Goliath

WHY YOU WILL BE SOLE SURVIVOR: My fire starting skills and non confrontational attitude.

ANYTHING ELSE: Sauerkraut is a food on its own.

Steven, he/him, 25

Hey y’all! I love survivor and have a competitive spirit so I use orgs as a way to release it. I work as a line cook right now so if you can’t reach then that’s probably what I’m doing. I’m really into any reality competition show, Pokémon, horror movies, and watching way too many tiktoks.

OCCUPATION: Line Cook

HOBBIES: Pokémon, cooking, watching movies, and playing video games

PET PEEVES: When clothes just start getting random holes

SURVIVOR PLAYER YOU ARE MOST LIKE: Honestly not sure but I will go with Kane. We’re both nerdy guys and seem to fumble sometimes throughout the game. We was able to recover from his troubles to regain bonds with someone he already voted for. I have been able to do that in the past and have made close ally with people that I was previously working against in the early part of the game.

WHY YOU WILL BE SOLE SURVIVOR: I’m always willing to learn from my past mistakes and utilize that to help me understand how to navigate in the future

ANYTHING ELSE: I have a cat named Barry and would love to talk about each others pets

Tony, he/him, 28

I’m from El Paso, Texas but have been living in Austin for a decade now. I’m a community mental health caseworker by day and cryptid enthusiast by night. My favorite cryptid is Mothman!

OCCUPATION: Community mental health caseworker

HOBBIES: Party Rockin’ and Pizza

PET PEEVES: People that don’t use their blinkers and don’t put their shopping carts back

SURVIVOR PLAYER YOU ARE MOST LIKE: Ozzy

WHY YOU WILL BE SOLE SURVIVOR: Im consistent and a team player.

ANYTHING ELSE: Love weiner dogs and chili cheese glizzies

Zee, she/her, 19

Hey there! I'm Zee (like Ziti pasta, or like you're saying Bee, but with a Z instead), I'm 19 I use she/her pronouns and I'm kind of a nerd. I'm hella obsessed w/Paleography and Languages in general, I vibe heavily with that. I'm also a dancer, even though I have the physique of a 12 year old boy (what I lack in body I make up for in personality UwU), and I have been for just over a year. I'm also super interested in Survivor! I think it's a really cool show and game, and I'd definitely love to be a part of it irl if I wasn't busy with Uni and things like that. I think I'm a social butterfly, even if I can come off as shy at first, and I'm generally willing to be friends with anybody! Anyway yeah, this sounds hella dope and I'm down to see what happens if I get cast here.

OCCUPATION: Student

HOBBIES: Making Friendship Bracelets (I'm fucking dope at it), Cooking, Talking to my Best Friend

PET PEEVES: Bad Communication

SURVIVOR PLAYER YOU ARE MOST LIKE: I'd say Maryanne, because she's also a very emotional and social player, and I feel like I definitely lead with my heart

WHY YOU WILL BE SOLE SURVIVOR: Because I'm a chill person and I feel like the vibes are there

ANYTHING ELSE: I may not be blonde, but I am a bimbo (insert peace sign emoji and sparkle emoji here, I'm on desktop so you guys are gonna have to use ur imagination here)

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Soca, here are your buffs!

[requiemforarainbow]

Little expansion on my last post. Under the cut too.

I don't know why I always feel this need to explain everything, but I'm gonna attempt to satisfy it. So here goes.

Regarding my Nintendo "collection": I am a packrat. Probably genetic; my mom is too. I don't like to throw things away that still work, and I still get enjoyment from this stuff. Getting rid of something I may never be able to get again just doesn't work for me. And getting a digital copy means I may lose access to that too, if the system it's on breaks, or a company decides to pull it. (Happened with Netflix; they took one of my fave shows off their service, and I only found out when I went to watch it again. I don't want the same thing to happen to a game I'm invested in, especially if I haven't finished it or transferred stuff off it.)

It would be different if a game/system breaks. If it's totally non-functional (like my cartridge copy of Silver), then I accept I may have to toss it. But I don't like it. Even busted, I still want to keep it to acknowledge I had it. I owned it. I played it.

And all these systems and games? They were purchased with my parents' sweat and blood. In my dad's case, sometimes literally.

My parents are both retired now, but when he was working, my dad was a firefighter. 30+ years, both as a volunteer and a professional (paid) one. Firefighter and paramedic, in fact. And a small business owner - he owned a gun shop. (No hate, plz. Seriously. I've heard it all. I don't need the BS.)

At one time, when I was about 8-9, he was working 3 jobs simultaneously. Firehouse, ambulance service, and the store. There was an entire YEAR when I only saw my father long enough to say "Hi, dad, love you."

That October, my dad had to sit my sister and me down and tell us we might not be able to afford Christmas. We'd still get something in our stockings, some candy maybe, but no "real" presents. I didn't care; I told my dad what I really wanted was to spend Christmas with him. That's all I wanted, and I was super serious about it.

I swear to God I think I broke his heart with that.

He ended up having to shut down the store in November (troubles with the rent and family shit), and believe it or not, we actually had enough money to afford a small Christmas that year.

This is to say that we have, for decades, survived on a civil servant's salary, and whatever my mom's job at the time brought in. (She's been a switchboard operator, a billing clerk for the same ambulance service my dad worked for, and then a billing clerk for an oral surgeon.)

I have never gotten a game or game system on launch day - except for one game. (Animal Crossing: New Horizons. I saved for it.)

I have always gotten a game or game system months or years after it was released. Traditionally for Christmas, or my birthday if backordered. Since the two are within a month of each other, if something comes out between late January and Christmas, I have to wait. And I don't mind doing so. I never have. Will people be "ahead of me" in the game? Yes. But that also means they'll have experience if I need to ask for help. What routes to take. What not to do. I may miss out on some limited-edition and time-sensitive stuff, like DLC, but that's life. I've missed out on events before because I hate leaving the house, so...nothing new.

With both my parents retired now, we literally live on my dad's pension. Considering how poorly firefighters are paid, it's sometimes tight. (He retired at captain, so it's at least a good amount. But honestly? Firefighters should be paid a SHITLOAD more than they are. But that's a rant for another time.)

What about my paycheck? Well...I'm disabled. I have 3 doctors willing to write the note to hopefully get me on SSI. But at my age (almost 36), I'll almost inevitably be rejected the first time and have to hire a lawyer to appeal. Are my parents willing to help with that? Yes. Why? Because they'd love to see me hopefully being able to support myself a little. (I've tried to mention to them that I'd still be living in poverty even with that, but...boomers.)

Is it possible for me to work at all? No. I can't sit for more than 90 minutes at a stretch. I can't stand for more than 30. I require a cane to walk now. I'm prone to migraine headaches both from overuse of a screen and from florescent lights. My mental illness also makes it damn near impossible to keep my mouth shut. I have no filter; I will call out stupid and not give a damn.

Work from home? See above re: overuse of computer screen, sitting time, and add in carpal tunnel.

Hence the doctors going "Yeah, Jordi, you're kinda fucked."

I've had 2 paying jobs in my life. One was retail, for all of 3 months. I'm pretty sure I got fired for getting injured on the job, but they couldn't actually admit that, so they called it "backtalking a supervisor." (I was TERRIFIED of confrontation back then. I would NEVER have said boo to my supervisor, so it's definite bullshit.) The other one, my first job, was as a filing clerk for...the same ambulance company my parents worked for. Best job I ever had; sit in a basement, file ambulance "run cards," not deal with people. ("Run cards" were the physical paperwork the paramedics had to fill out for every patient they transported. Name, date of birth, insurance, etc. Then they'd file it with the ambulance company billing department to bill the insurance - or the patient if no insurance - and then I'd file it away. They were required to keep them for a minimum of 7 years. Now it's all digital, so that job is, sadly, obsolete.)

Is it kind of embarrassing to still be reliant on my parents for money at my age? Yes. But at the same time, I know how goddamn privileged I am to be able to. How privileged I am that they didn't just kick me out at 18. That they recognize I'm disabled and actually care; not attempt to insist that I can work regardless of reality.

That being said... If I could work, I would in a heartbeat. When I was younger, I had so many volunteer positions - assistant teacher at Girls Inc. for the dance teacher, ceramics teacher, sewing teacher (who just happened to be my mom). I volunteered with political campaigns - most of which my grandmother ran. To be fair, I didn't do these things for nothing in return - my high school required at least 20 hours of community service to graduate, and all the volunteering counted. (I ended up being the 2nd highest community service holder in my class - over 1000 hours over 4 years.)

My "dream job" is to write. Novelist. Editor. Hell, Presidential Speechwriter, if I could snag such a position. (That's my only "political" goal.) I've got more WIPs than I can name. I've got a 2 TB hard drive, almost half full with writing. If I ever managed to get published, believe me, my position will not be "Oh, I did this all by myself." NOOOOOOO. Not even close.

My parents will be thanked. My grandparents. My sister. My friends. Hell, my neighbors.

I don't know why I'm so defensive sometimes. I think it's because I've heard basically everything someone can throw at me and accuse me of regarding everything I've just mentioned.

"You don't know how privileged you are!" Yes. Yes I do.

"You must be rich to have <insert whatever here>!" No, just very fucking lucky.

Stuff like that.

And man, do I know how lucky I got with the parent lottery. Supportive, fairly permissive, and just damn nice. (I have friends that, by the end of their first visit, were already calling them "mom" and "dad".)

Wanna watch that R-rated movie and you're only 9? Okay, but you have to watch it with us so we can answer your questions. (Watched Braveheart in 5th grade. Used some knowledge from that movie to answer a question in class correctly and end up with a shitload of candy. Yes, I made a lot of friends.)

Raised Catholic. Sent to Sunday school. Oh, wait, you want to quit because your teachers have completely disillusioned you are actively trying to sabotage your education? Okay, that's cool. (8th grade Sunday school teacher tried to get us to not take sex ed. Which was rolled into health class in my school. If you failed it, you had to retake it. Until you passed. And sex ed was a whole quarter. And no exemption for religious reasons - you got an F for that section if you sat it out. I got snarky, teacher got pissed, I said "fuck this.") Rejected the entire religion and became pagan? Okay, that's cool. (Yes, they wished me a Blessed Yule again this year. And every year for the last 16.)

Brought home a boyfriend? Awesome. If he breaks your heart, I break his face. (Both parents said this) Figured out you're bi? Awesome. I don't care who you date. But if they break your heart, I break their face.

Don't want biological kids? Okay. Disappointed but understandable. (Long story short, I'd have to go off some meds, and NO ONE wants that.) And adoption is a thing. To be honest...that was always my first inclination anyway.

Okay. I think that need to explain is satisfied. Sorry this is a long-ass rant again. Probably no one will read this anyway, but that annoying voice in my head is quieter now.

And I'm gonna go play Pokemon.

[renatedagmarmilada]

sex worker...

I eat it says the file I being lab Anna of St Barths (try some caviar dear!)

well poets in the sixties when I grew up we did leap frogs on wooden horses in gyms not on young men as they do now on tv and as for eating sperm or throating which these London ladessess do do and I had never heard of till recently the stuff these Ministers and Civil Servants get up to in their Ministry offices and well, ministries!

Old Sunny Scunny and our tough steelworkers were really not quite up to that My lebanese school mate with her ‘counting off’ all the business men’s sons jewish most of them, was about our limit and I had a job supporting her as a friend

so the lab have been told follow instructions I am NOT to be allowed any happiness because that will loosen me up (put losen, it sounds better said lab Anna) because the lab had a plan and she would not follow adding to the present copying artist adjust it simplify it then you can say it is your work not hers don’t worry I will have the originals robbed and destroyed

and in China they called her the wonderful old teacher well the lab Pakis informed me we can’t have that we are going to put over horrid things destroy your reputation (they do incidentally that is why I don’t believe what they say about the Princess she was on the same programme at the lab so I know) ’’they’ll all remember nasty things we will make them up we call it spinning.. and increase the drawing skills of all we used and even those we gave cancer to the young Prince will be amazed when he finds what he can do!’‘ given him remote for what we did to them’’ I quote.

it is all backed up and blocked your life is forfeit to the lab (I don’t want to be forfeit to anyone we didn’t survive all the way West for this) they will never catch the lab now the wrong is the mother of all wrong doers

so science is destroying the last human trait its art and communication along with love, decency and loyalty

we will restore it later….they added like the milk Thatcher took, I wonder? and I took a hundred there from your account and a hundred there says the lab even Archie, conservative, ex lover and help of anna lab bossess, will paint and everyone knows lawyers cost thousands just for a letter so the lab have got her again as they are now poor

for robbing her old mother by the Ministry of Pensions of the total life savings of their old dad whom the lab manslaughtered (they don’t have murder here) taxing her small life savings as a millionaire please give the british nation a rebate of some sort (like when they lost my post the lose all the pensioners books in the post it is called spinning!)

so, how strong was the womb tingle Anna of the lab put onto the Princess and was the machine ever switched off did Anna direct the lovemaking as Steve did that of the Prince and said over my radio ’’I taught the prince to play’‘ and I quote…