#i wanna call them a certain slur

[dustcrumbs]

We should burn gay people, ugh.. i hate queers........................................ 🧍‍♂️

[xxlady-lunaxx]

I love youUuOUuUoU ❤ | {SabiGiyuu}

Theme: Fluffy sillyness!!

Note: That's got to be one of my fav sabigiyuu pictures i love them so fucking much i can't.

Sabito lived past final selection AU bc i said so (sorta basing this off of the picture)

Before Kyojuro became a Hashira i think :> After Sanemi did

No certain plot just silly SabiGiyuu scenes

Sabito grinned as he ran off with Giyuu's haori, tiptoeing away from his room as he went. He found some scissors and cut through the middle carefully, praying with all his might he didn't fuck up.

He got his and did the same then quickly started sewing together the two sides, as well as he could. He did the same with the remaining ones then held up his work proudly. 

Just then, the door opened and he looked up. 

"Sabito? I can't find my haori, do you know whe-" Giyuu started. He paused as he saw what Sabito had done and he frowned. "Sabito... what did you do?"

Sabito grinned nervously, pulling one of the haori's on and giving the other to Giyuu. "Just put it on!!!"

Giyuu sighed but slipped it on, deciding he had no other haori to use anyways. "Why..." he grumbled.

"We match now, Giyuu!!" Sabito insisted, twirling around. 

Sabito laughed and shook Giyuu until he smiled. 

"Fine, I guess it's alright," the ravenette hesitantly agreed. 

"Yayy!!"

~~~

Sanemi raised an eyebrow at the two as they spoke to each other in the corner of the yard. They were at a Hashira meeting—there were two Water Hashira's, Giyuu and Sabito—and it hadn't yet started yet so they were simply talking to one another. 

"Since when did you have matching haori's?" Tengen asked, who was closest to the Water Hashira's. 

Giyuu rolled his eyes but Sabito smiled wildly. "I sewed them together!"

"Without my permission," Giyuu added with a scowl.

"You love it though!" the peach-haired Hashira insisted, bobbing his head.

Tengen grinned. "It's flashy, I like it."

"See???" Sabito said, as if to make a point.

Giyuu huffed. "Whatever."

~~~

Sabito was drunk. Not on purpose, no, the Hashira—and hopefully anyone else in the demon slayer corps—usually refrained from drinking so they could be clearheaded through their missions. He'd only been given a drink by someone who had mixed up something with alcohol with what he'd originally bought and now... Giyuu had to deal with him.

Unfortunately, Sabito apparently got really drunk even with just a little...

"Giyuuuu!!" Sabito whined, shaking the said Hashira. "I wanna go hoommmee!!"

"We are at home," Giyuu said, sighing.

"No we aren'ttt!! This is Madagascarr," he grumbled. (credits to my sister for the random country <3)

"Madagascar...?" Giyuu asked, raising an eyebrow. "Since when?"

"Since... december," Sabito decided, slumping down to the floor. "I'm tireedd..."

"Alright, let's take you to bed," Giyuu said, going to pick him up. 

"Nooo I want to sleep on the floor!" Sabito said, crossing his arms.

"Why?"

"It's comfy," he replied simply, laying down and curling up in a ball.

"For fucks sake, your room isn't that far!!" Giyuu said, promptly picking him up and marching off to Sabito's room. 

"I wanna sleep in your room," Sabito decided, once he was on his own bed.

"Seriously?" Giyuu asked impatiently. 

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because..." Sabito considered the question for a moment, looking as if he was thinking hard. "I love youuuu!!" he slurred, grinning stupidly up at Giyuu. 

Giyuu sighed. "I love you too but you can't sleep in my room you drunkass. You're sleeping here tonight," he said, turning to leave.

Sabito grumbled. "But you love me too!"

"Doesn't change anything." Giyuu went to the door and said, "If I come into this room later and you aren't asleep I'm going to throw you out of the house," before closing the door.

Sabito blinked in the darkness that filled his room; Giyuu had closed his window and drawn down the curtains. "Fine," he huffed, grabbing his pillow and using it as a blanket. 

~~~

"Giyuu!"

"Hm?" The Hashira looked up as his name was called and he stopped on his way back home.

Sabito was running up to him happily. 

"Sabito, you're alright?" Giyuu asked, for his boyfriend had just been at the Butterfly estate due to an injury. 

"Yeah!! Kocho-San finally let me out," he said, laughing. "And her little sister, uhm, Shinobu? She kept telling me that I couldn't overwork myself so much."

"Well you shouldn't!" Giyuu agreed.

Sabito shrugged. "Anyways, since you were on a mission I took the liberty to walk around some and I bought you a gift," he said, grinning. 

"A gift? You needn't have to-"

"I wanted to!" Sabito interrupted. "Now, here." He shoved a small box into Giyuu's hand.

Giyuu looked at him curiously then opened the box, his eyes widening as he saw it. "A ring?"

Sabito nodded. "I heard of things called 'promise rings' or something, and since I know there's not really a high chance we'll have any time for any marriage I bought these which are supposed to be, like, promising to be together forever and stuff," he explained, his voice faltering at the end. "Sorry, I dunno."

Giyuu gave him a small smile. "It's cute, I like it," he decided, slipping the ring onto his finger. It fit perfectly.

Sabito smiled then, almost relieved, and said, "I have one too!!" He took out of his pocket (idk-) an identical box and opened it, pulling the ring onto his own finger. "Now we match!!" he declared.

Giyuu gave him a look. "We already have matching haori's, and now matching rings- What's next? Bracelets and headbands?" he joked. 

And that was how Sabito decided to make matching bracelets and headbands for them. 

"What the fuck Sabito!!" Giyuu groaned, eyeing the homemade bracelets Sabito held out proudly to him.

"What?!" he said, huffing. 

"Why do we need bracelets? And headbands?!" Giyuu exclaimed. 

"Because you said bracelets and headbands," Sabito deadpanned, dead serious. 

Giyuu rolled his eyes. "That was a joke!"

"Oh? Now it's not!"

~~~

"Okay, the haori's were sweet and the rings were nice but..." Tengen said, raising an eyebrow. "No offense but are you two little girls?"

Giyuu sighed heavily. "Just so you know, this was all Sabito's idea."

Sabito put his hands on his hips defiantly. "No it wasn't!"

"Fuck you mean 'no it wasn't'?! It definitely was," Giyuu said, glaring at him. 

Sabito rolled his eyes in a mocking manner. "Whatever," he said, tossing his hair back. 

{Word count: 1077}

YOU ASKED FOR SABIGIYUU CRACK SO I PRESENT TO YOU SABIGIYUU CRACK

I'M GIGGLING I DIDN'T PLAN ANY OF THIS I JUST MADE IT UP AS I WROTE (i mean i do this lots but this more so) 

i think i'm in a silly mood today i'm writing sm silly stuff

[pettytiredandjewish]

Ya know what…

I’m so tired of this crap. I’m tired of being scared and having nightmares. I’m tired of seeing people that I thought were friends post/share antisemitic shit/ propaganda and misinformation that hamas created. I hate having to be cautious about people and their intentions. I don’t like having to make a mental list of people that would help me if something happens- I don’t want to drag them into this shit show…

I hate that most of y’all are just sharing/posting misinformation/propaganda about this war. Y’all stop fucking getting your information from social media/and Hamas run “news sites”. Fun fact Hamas is in control of Gaza and certain news media’s. They can tell the world that Israel is doing so and so and y’all would fucking eat it up (and y’all do that). And don’t get me started on the fucking trauma porn- y’all are so obsessed with seeing those photos and pictures, and here’s the thing- no one knows if they are real/“posed”/ai generated and same with the “stories”… heck y’all even twist up the stories just to make Israel the only bad guy in this war…

Most of y’all don’t even care about Palestine. If y’all did why are you not condemning Hamas and their government? Y’all claim you want this to stop- Israel has offered multiple ceasefire deals but Hamas turns them down because they don’t fucking care. They don’t care that civilians are getting k*lled. Hamas end goal is to exterminate Israelis and Jews. They even admitted it but y’all were just turned a blind eye. Hamas is taking control of the narrative of this war and y’all are fucking falling for it…

I don’t trust anyone who uses Zionist/zionism as a slur, wishes death against Israel and their citizens, calls the IDF the IOF, those who turns a blind eye to the antisemitic shit that y’all are causing/or joining in on, chatting genocidal slogans, the list goes on and on….

You claim that y’all don’t blame Jews- just those “Zionist”. I don’t know how to say it but the majority of Jews are Zionist and a lot of us don’t want this war. (Also most of y’all don’t know what Zionism is and are spreading false information about it). Also stop calling Israelis terrorist. They are not- I’ve said this multiple times, citizens are not their government…

Blaming Jews for this war does make you antisemitic. Harassing Jews/attacking Jews/wishing death upon Jews/ cheering and supporting terrorist organizations that want Jews dead/ all of this plus more doesn’t help Palestine. But it does make you a raging antisemitic asshat. This is why we Jews are fucking scared and terrified. History is starting to repeat itself and y’all are contributing to it. Y’all wanna know why Jews are wanting to leave their home countries- because we don’t feel safe because of this shit that is happening…

I could keep going but I’ll stop. This is just me venting out my frustrations. I’m so frustrated that y’all are doing this. I’m tired and scared. If y’all don’t like this- I don’t give a damn. I said what i said. Just know that if y’all start spitting out antisemitic shit on this post- I will call you out and block you…

Am yisrael chai ✡️

And to those who lost people in this war and to those who were killed just because they were Jewish- May your memory be a blessing.

[romanarose]

The River

Joel Miller x Black!fem!reader

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Summary: Joel and Sarah's mom! reader the days he's conceived, written to Bruce Springsteen's The River in honor of his birthday today!

Warnings: Virginity loss for both, piv sex, skinny dipping, not a happy end, if you want the spoiler look at notes at the end. Classmate calls reader a name but its never stated so you can fill in the blank however fitting you feel, but its implied its either a slur or a derogatory word towards women. Story starts with joel and reader in HS and 17, but 18 when the smu happens. If this makes you uncomfortable, thats fine. Dont read it.Some drinking but everyone is consenting, and at 18 in the 80's in the us you can drink Immersivity: reader is at least biracial as fitting with the show TLOU. Not super descriptive there bc I wanted it to remain pretty open but I mentioned hair care for curls and dark skin

Happy birthday Bruce!!!! I love you

Dividers by @thecutestgrotto

I come from down in the valley

Where, mister, when you're young

They bring you up to do like your daddy done

  It started at 17, just kids. You were like something out of a dream to a teen. Well, a wet dream. You dressed so unlike everyone around him, showing off skin in a way scandalous to the bible belt you were living in. Joel was taught that impure thoughts and sex before marriage was sinful, shameful.

A year later, it didn’t feel shameful with you. 

When you moved here during yours and Joel’s senior  year, you and Joel met at a party and it was all over for him the second he saw you in that pretty black dress that dipped so low… Dark, thick curls spiraled around your head in a halo and beautiful dark skin. Joel was certain you weren’t looking his way even once. Joel wasn’t unpopular by any means, but if he were honest a lot of his circle came from either playing baseball or being Tommy’s brother . 

Tommy was a linebacker on the football team, something much cooler than baseball was. Joel didn’t think himself ugly, he thought he was decent to look at, but his nose got in the way, just planted large smack in the middle of his face. Tommy had similar features, but for some reason they meshed together better. Tommy was also just so much more extraverted, friendly as they came. And none of it was fake, Tommy was genuine and that's why people liked him. That’s why Tommy lost his virginity long before Joel had his first kiss.

When you walked over and struck up a conversation with him of all people, Joel’s eyes nearly popped out of his face.

“Hey.” You told him your name. “I start school next week with y’all”

“”M Joel,” He reached out shaking your hand, a move that made you grin ear to ear. “Nice t’meecha”

“You’re cute, Joel, wanna talk outside?”

An hour later, you and Joel hadn’t spoken to a single other soul. He watched as envious eyes lingered on them, pride swelling in his chest at having the prettiest girl at the party wearing his jacket as you sat on the porch. 

“HEY MILLER!” A teammate of Tommy’s shouts at Joel from below the porch. “Gonna finally score a homerun?”

When you looked at him confused, Joel explained the metaphor. “I play baseball.”

“YEAH AND HE’S NEVER SCORED WITH A GIRL!”

“THANKS DAN I THINK SHE GOT IT!!” Joel shouted to the jeering boy who’d drawn a bit of a crowd. When he turns back to you, you weren’t weirded about him being a virgin still, instead you were smiling.

“I’m a virgin too, don’t worry. Wanna really show ‘em how stupid they look?” You whisper.

Joel laughs, smiling something dopey. “Please…”

Swinging one leg over the porch railing, a move that spread your legs and rode your skirt up. You grab his shirt, yanking him towards you and kissing him right tyoure in the porch light, getting bitten by mosquitos. This creates a bunch of loud whooping from everyone except Dan, more people gathering to watch the show. Joel about passed out, ready to fall off the porch and die a happy man. He didn’t, holding onto your leg as you giggled into his mouth at the reactions of everyone around them.

After that, only death could separate Joel from you. 

Me and Mary we met in high school

When she was just seventeen

We drive out of this valley

Down to where the fields were green

“Hey Miller!” Dan called after him in the hall, but Joel wasn’t interested in talking to him.

That school year had been a wild one to be sure. You joined the cheer team, but admitted later it was so that you could see Joel more, an excuse to talk to him. Joel was absolutely baffled at the concept that you thought you needed a reason to talk to him after he’d kissed you, but sweet nonetheless. 

Dan had tried in vain to steal you out from under him, but to Joel’s surprise you showed no interest. After that, he got mean. Joel frequently found himself telling Dan to shut the fuck up, defending you even though the relationship still didn’t have a name. It was stolen smiles in class, study dates, choosing to spend your 18th birthday with him at the local diner instead of a party.  DIdn’t matter. He wasn’t going to let Dan talk the way he did about you. It’d never escalated to more than a few shoves in the locker room, resulting in being separated by Tommy and your teammate. Their coach said if Dan causes more problems to let him know.

And then, Dan crossed a line. The crowded hallway was loud, people pushing around to get the hell out of school and onto their next event but Joel heard him loud and clear. The hall got real quiet, everyone between Dan and you and Joel hearing with Dan called you, and it was over. 

“Joel…” You warn, feeling him squeeze your hand tighter. “Don-” but he was gone, letting go and lunging at Dan like he was tackling in a game.

The fight didn’t last long, Joel a little better off than Dan was by the time they were pulled apart, which is why the coach suspended Joel for 2 days instead of Dan. They told the coach, multiple students testifying, what Dan had called you but he never go any repercussions. That just makes Joel all the more happy he broke his nose.

You were his after that. Officially. Boyfriend and girlfriend and inseparable. Every game, you were there cheering him on and every night you worked he was there to walk you home. 

When the summer turned warm, Joel decided he wanted to share something special with you.

It was a secret spot, a place Joel grandpa used to take him and Tommy to fish before he passed. They pair had grown up swimming there when they could get their hands on a car in the summer, and it was somewhere that few people knew about. A quiet lake, the perfect place to fish and swim or just relax. Joel managed to borrow your brothers car, people trusting him as he was responsible, unlike Tommy. He even packed you a picknick, making it a nice date. He knew he was romantic as shit. He didn’t plan on what happened happening, but he knew it would be a special afternoon.

The week after graduation in Texas was already warm, the world bright and happy around him as college approached. You and him had plans to move to Austen together, he had gotten a few good grants for low income students and was going to attend the tech school, get into electrician work. He even knew a place where he could apprentice in the city, and hopefully by the time you graduate with your 4 year degree he would have his journeymans. You had gotten an excellent scholarship, and between that and the money saved from the last few years of both of you working, if you guys budgeted well you would graduate almost debt free. Then, find permanent jobs, get a house, get married, have kids… the entire world was in the palm of your hands.

You hadn’t taken the big step, even after 7 months of dating, you were still virgins. You wanted to… but where? On the bottom bunk of the bunk bed Joel and Tommy still shared in the tiny mobile home? Or at your place, where your mom made you keep the door open at all time? Joel certainly wasn’t going to deflower you in the back of a car, he wasn’t a fucking animal. Still, he liked to think what ended up happening was perfect.

You loved it.

We'd go down to the river

And into the river we'd dive

Oh, down to the river we'd ride

“Joel!!!” An excited squeal escaped your lips as he finished setting everything up. There were even a bundle of wildflowers on the blanket he sprawled out on the grass. 

“M’grandpa used to take me  n’ Tommy here ‘fore he died.” Joel explained, standing up and stepping back to admire his work. There was a tinge of longing, reminiscing on those old days, childhood that he was soon to leave behind for a life with you. There'll always be nostalgia, but he didn’t have to fear facing the future with you by his side. He’d do it all in your honor. Joel felt your hand on his back.

“He sounds great, baby.”

Joel smiled. “Yeah, he was.” But he turned to hug yo. The smell of your hair was always something he took his time to appreciate. Throughout these months, he’d learned a lot about taking care of your hair, and absolutely adored the smell of coconut oil. He'd gotten pretty damn good at braiding. Sometimes you’d even put the oil in his hair, and Joel loved the scalp massage too much he was practically purring. That’s how you learned he had a sensitive scalp. Very sensitive.

Got anything to drink?” You smiled, trying to distract him.

He paused for a bit, then finally smiled for the first time tonight. “Yeah, yeah I do.”

Joel pulled out the glasses, iced tea, rum, and sliced lemons; Long Island iced tea.

Joel insisted on holding the ice to your lip as You sipped through your straw and drank his own. Joel was more of a beer guy himself, the guys would never let it go if they caught him drinking this, but for your, he’d drink it. Plus, it actually tastes good. Beer does not.

Now, Joel was Joel again. He laughed along to your stories and shared quips about the guys at the shop as they sat on the blanket he laid out by the banks. He braided your hair back for you, tying it up nice and tight so the river water doesn’t ruin it.

“You ready to swim?” You asked.

Joel grinned “Absolutely. I brought some spare clothes, I figured you couldn’t exactly sneak out with swimwear.”

“Actually…” You stood up. “I was thinking we could just…” You took off your shirt. Joel quickly stood up. “Skinny dip?” 

Joel had felt your tits before. Plenty. You and him had explored things before… but never this. Seeing your breasts in that bra had his mind short circuiting. He was only a man. 

You turned away and began walking towards the river. The Texas sun was setting on your back as you slid your underwear off. Joel never really gotten a good look at your ass until now. Well now, he was taking it all in. 

“You gonna join me? Or just stare at my ass like a perv at a gas station?” He looked up at you and saw you glancing over your shoulder as you unhooked your bra. When you turned back and tossed your bra back to the shore, Joel scrambled out of his jeans and underwear comically fast, hopping out of his last pant leg. Joel grinned wildly as he giggled (did he just giggle?) and ran into the river as he pulled his shirt off.

By the time he reached you, you had dove into the water, swimming out. He caught up to you and pulled your wet frame in, finally taking yor in the kiss he had wanted to give all afternoon. He was careful, ever so careful, not to startle you or move too fast, but he hears you laugh. “Oh my god Joel, just kiss me.”

As the lady wished. He deepened the kiss as you ran fingers through his thick curls, massaging into his scalp. He could feel himself getting hard, so he pulled away. “Time to swim, sweetheart.” As he dove into the water, you got a quick peek at his ass before it re-entered the cool water. Oh man, you could not wait to get a hold of that latter tonight. You swam as the sun peaked, until your bodies were too tired to keep changing between kisses and splashes.

The evening was still warm, but could cool quick. Joel grabbed towels and another drink for the two of you on the blanket. While in the car, he opened his windows and turned up the radio. He helped dry off your hair and body before pulling a blanket over the two of you. The area was private, no one would be here except him. Snuggling into his chest, you signed contently. Joel was your safe place. Despite being naked under the blanket, You felt warm and secure. When “Sister Christian” faded out of the car radio, You listened to the DJ.

“This next song is a request, it goes out from Joel in Arlington. Joel wants you to know how much he’s enjoyed your time together and he hopes for many more nights like tonight. Well, isn’t that sweet. Here’s to you, this is You Make Loving Fun by Fleetwood Mac”

You turned to him with a broad smile. “Joel! That’s so sweet” You took him in for a kiss as the opening chords started playing, your dark, naked body pulling up against him.

Joel tried to keep his cool, but fighting his hard-on was getting a lot harder to control. “I wanted to play something by Stevie Nicks, but all the songs I knew that she sang sounded like break up songs.” Joel sucked on your neck.

You moaned out his name. “Oh god… mmm” You tried to keep the conversation going, but he felt so good on your skin. “True, but Silver Springs is a masterpiece…”

“You are a masterpiece…” He murmured between the soft kisses he placed along your stomach. your heart rate kicked up as he crept closer to your sex. 

“Joel…” You pleaded, begging him for more as he kissed the crease of your legs, so, so close to where you needed him to be. Something else entirely. Just when You thought he was finally going to take your in his mouth,  moved past your sex, his beautiful lips tantalizingly grazing over you’re folds to move towards your inner thighs. “Joel, please, stop teasing…”

“As the lady wants…” Finally, he dove into you.

Then I got Mary pregnant

And man, that was all she wrote

You tasted fantastic. He flattened his tongue as licked up, swirling around your clit, making your whimper. He loved the little sounds You made when he touched you, tasted you. Sliding two fingers inside, Joel worked your lower body with everything in him: his fingers deep inside your, his mouth licking and kissing everywhere in reach, his free hand massaging along your thigh.

In the freedom of the dark night, You felt free to be as loud as You wanted. “FUCK! Fuck Joel, just like that.”

“Fuck, you taste so good”

You gave a breathy laugh “Baby, I taste like river water”

“Like delicious river water” He muttered with an obvious smile;

You giggled “Ew”

Joel hummed “mmmm” the vibration sending another wave through you.

“Oh! Oh God, Joel!” You whimpered when You felt his teeth carefully draw along your sensitive inner thigh.

Joel continued working you, fingering you open carefully until you came on his tongue, tugging on the sweet curl and his oh so sensitive scalp.

You moved your hips up, sending a shock of electricity through him when he felt your thigh rub along his cock.

He kissed into your neck, fighting the strong urge to leave hickies. “If I told you I brought a condom, would you think I was presumptuous?”

“If I told you I brought a condom, would you think I’m easy?”

You could feel a shit eating, teasing grin being pressed into your neck. “I don’t believe in women being easy, I believe in men being lucky.”

With your soft hand, you guided his face back to yours and You gifted him with a kiss. “Do you think you’re lucky tonight?”

He couldn’t help the feral growl that escaped him as he nipped along your neck and chest. “Sweetheart, tonight, I think I’m favored by the gods.” He rolled over and pulled the condom out of his pant pocket and slid it over his length before lining himself up at your entrance and planting a soft kiss on your brow. He touched his forehead to yours. “You want this?” Joel spoke softly in your ear.

You smiled, eyes closed, and nodded, gently tracing the muscles on his back, toned from physical labour.

“More than anything, Joel. Do you?”

When you opened them, Joel was beaming down at you. “More than anything.”

 He felt your grip on his shoulder as he entered your, wet and hot in contrast to the cool air seeping into their little haven. He pulled the blanket over both of their heads to keep the heat between them, to keep the world outside. Right now, only they mattered, only you existed, nothing else could possibly be more important than making you feel beautiful and special and… loved.

You were ethereal. Nothing in the world felt better than you sweet pussy and there was nothing he loved more than you, his beautiful girl giving herself to him, just as he gave himself to you. 

In your little tent, you felt safe, appreciated and adored. Joel always had a way of taking away all your anxieties, his demeanor was always so light and relaxing but fiercely protective. You could feel him hitting deep inside you despite his movements being slow and steady, not wanting to hurt you. He was all kisses: your mouth your jaw, your breasts, your cheeks. As you stretched out your body and put your arms over your head, he ran his hands up your sides, over your breasts and shoulders, along your arms and finally pinning your hand above your. Joel held you to the ground and he picked up his pace, making your toes curl as your orgasm built back up again.

“Mmmm, Joel, baby you feel so good… so good honey”

Joel could feel your tightening around him, he knew you were close. He kissed deep into your mouth that opened for him. You aggressively kissed back, taking his lip between your teeth. “Please baby, I need to feel you.” You wiggled your wrists.

Joel complied, releasing your hands which You returned to his tan skin. When You came around him, he felt your fingernails digging into his shoulder blades, tipping him over the edge. His pace faltered as he rode out his orgasm, pressing tender kisses into your neck.

When they re-emerged from the cover of the blanket, night had completely fallen on the reservoir, the moon shone above the treeline illuminating You’s tan, wet body. “Keep on Lovin You” by REO Speedwagon was in full swing. They laid on the bank of the river, pulling your close just to feel each breath You takes.

There they laid, until Joel heard the rumble of thunder. “We should probably get going, don’t want to get rained on.” No answer. He looked down to see you sleeping against his chest. 5 more minutes won’t hurt… He thought to himself, and watched your sleep for 20 minutes, until you stirred to the sound of the thunder getting closer.

“Hm?” You grumbled into his chest, despite him not saying anything.

“I said we gotta go, it looks like rain.”

“Oh.” You rubbed your eyes and sat up. “Oh shit, I forgot we were naked.”

Joel stood up and gathered your clothes that You had practically stripped off for him, then got dressed himself.

It was that July you told him you were pregnant.

And for my nineteenth birthday

I got a union card and a wedding coat

We went down to the courthouse

And the judge put it all to rest

No wedding day smiles, no walk down the aisle

No flowers, no wedding dress

Everything changed after that, 

Not the love you had for each other, no, not that.

But everything else.

Your parents kicked you out when you told them, and Joel’s family let you move in, kind enough to let you take the couch, until a week later you and Joel were married at the courthouse. You spend your wedding night on the bottom of a bunk bed, Tommy staying with a friend for the night to offer you some privacy.

Life wasn’t easy, but it wasn’t the worst. No trade school, no apprenticeship, no journeymans, but Joel found a union job which was good. You continued working your job at the diner until Sarah was born, the best day of Joel’s life.

The next 5 years would be difficult, late bills and a sick baby, union going on strike, but no matter what, he had you. Always had you, his beautiful girl. Sometimes, Joel would ask Tommy to watch Sarah for a few hours, and he’d take you back to the river, back to where she was conceived. He couldn’t say he regretted it, but when this life brought him his baby. He couldn’t regret anything with you, honestly. Every struggle was worth it for his little family.

It was here you told him about the cancer.

Now all them things that seemed so important

Well mister they vanished right into the air

Now I just act like I don't remember

Mary acts like she don't care

Joel watched as a preteen Sarah swam around the river, Tommy and Joel parked with chairs close enough their feet were wet. Joel supposed she was technically a teen now… but it felt wrong to say his baby was a teenager of all things. 13 could be a preteen, just one more year. He had braided her hair back the same way he always did yours, the memory of which always tore at his chest. There were a few years there he didn’t take her, the last time Sarah had been was when she was 6.

 The chemo had taken its toll on you, but you wanted this last summer with your daughter. Joel had carried you in, your body to weak to stand for long but once you were in again, you were at ease. The water helped you move, taking pressure off your joints and Sarah, as little as she was played gently with you, knowing her mom was fragile. Joel loved how much you loved her, how much Sarah adored you, and it killed him. It killed him to know there wasn’t much longer left. 

Joel watched as you floated, taking in the sun on your skin as Sarah did the same. Two peas in a pod.

You died two days later.

But I remember us riding in my brother's car

Her body tan and wet, down at the reservoir

At night on them banks I'd lie awake

And pull her close just to feel each breath she'd take

Now those memories come back to haunt me

They haunt me like a curse

Is a dream a lie if it don't come true

Or is it something worse

Joel didn’t take her again until she was 10. He couldn’t stomach it, so Tommy did, wanting to keep the family place alive.

“You alright, brother?” Tommy asked, cool beer in his hand.

Joel sighed. “Yeah, yeah. Just….” He shook his head, watching as Sarah went under to do a handstand. “She looks so much like her mom, doesn’t she?”

When Sarah popped up again, Joel and Tommy cheered for her in encouragement.

“Yeah, that she does.”

School was starting soon, and Joel would have less time with her, so he was savoring these little moments, just as their family. Just the three of them. Joel still felt you here, present with him in these ways, even after all these years. 

2003 marked 7 years since your death, and every day Sarah grew to look more like you.

Now those memories come back to haunt me

They haunt me like a curse

Is a dream a lie if it don't come true

Or is it something worse

That sends me down to the river

Though I know the river is dry

That sends me down to the river tonight

Down to the river

My baby and I

Oh, down to the river we ride

SPOILER!!! Reader dies.

Thak you soooo muc for reading, i know my last fic and this one have been downers, and i gonna be honest, my final joel piece before leaving the fandom wil be bittersweet too ;-;

Thank you for all the love you've given me!!!

Taggint htose whove expressed interest. I think. if i mistagged you im sorry!!! its late for me

@my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @msjarvis @grogusmum @hiroikegawa @jennaispunk @fandxmslxt69 @sweetlummie

[jeonsbabygirlsworld]

DESIRE PT.2

SUMMARY: Life was easy until you meet the eye candy of your life and the adventure with him is a hell of ride, but there is certain someone who seems to get hurt in this.

PAIRINGS: Bartender Yoongi X reader (ft Gynecologist Jungkook)

WORD COUNT: 1.8K

WARNINGS: Smut, reader is a flustered cause of course its Jungkook, eekkk Eunwoo is here as well! but he's here only for this chapter, that's it ig, Jungkook is Mia, but he soon will be here!!

SMUT WARNINGS: Doggy, blowjob, fingering, cum eating.

Note: this is inspired by a web series and I’m GONNA EDIT IT, I’m not gonna make it a whole ass 3 season containing 10-12 episodes per season and I felt like I could do something with this series. Thankyou

Work work work......

these past days it's been hell for you from the meetings and cracking up deals you were tired of it , but you still showed up every other day at the office. The interns and other employees did no good when they were asked to fill up your place when you were late for the office.

What kept you alive between this constant hectic schedule was a shot of vodka to wash down all the stress at your and the girl's favourite bar, you guys would spend the almost whole night until it was Yoongi telling you it was time to close the bar for the day.

Just like any other Friday night, you were here with your girls chatting about all the stuff which happened this week and they try to console you saying it's all right and you will pass through it, both of the girls then reach over to give you a warm hug.

Spending a few hours with them Chae gets a call from her husband telling her that he desperately needs help with the 3-year-old. “I'm sorry guys I have to leave, Yu-Jin seems to have a fever and she needs me” Chae says grabbing her purse and getting ready to leave.

Telling Chae a very goodbye and telling her to take care, Yuna is the next one to leave after she gets a call from her girlfriend, she hesitates to look at you, and you tell her it is fine and she can leave, she initiated a small hug and presses kiss on your forehead before she apologizes again.

Feeling alone in this busy bar, you see a busy Yoongi serving drinks on the countertop with Taehyung right beside him, maybe he saw you staring at him so you wave your hand and ask him if it's okay if you can come and sit there, he says he's more than happy to have you there.

"Hey, miss how are you? doing okay?" Yoongi asks before serving the last customer for the time being and telling Taehyung to look after them, "I'm okay I guess work is killing me, the meetings and the deals and whatnot is what I'm bored of you tell me?" Sighing you wait for him to answer, and he chuckles and says he's completely fine.

Yoongi places two glasses in front of you one for him and the other one for you of course, pouring in some of your favourite Japanese malts you chug it down with a “Cheers” Groaning at the taste he brings up some fries on the side and you thank him for being considerate.

"I'm bored yoongi, I wanna go on a trip or something." The tipsy you come out of you, and you slur occasionally while speaking “Calm down y/n, it's enough shall I call a cab for you?” Ever so sweet Yoongi asks you just because you are out of it after having the shots you had with the girls and the three glasses of malt with yoongi.

Yoongi soon books a cab and tells the man to drop you at the place, you reach your home soon after the fifteen minutes of the ride just to see your ex- fuck buddy right outside your house.

“Eunwoo? What the fuck? when did you come back?” Your mood instantly lights up after seeing him after so long and all the tipsiness goes away. “Hey y/n, I landed a few hours ago and thought of visiting you first and right when I was about to call you, here you were” He says with a bright smile.

You intended to initiate “Just a hug” but you don't know how he is under the sheets right now eating you out like a hungry man, “fuck right there woo” you moan and reach a good orgasm after a long time, your vibrator did no good until you felt a tongue or fingers or even someone's dick at this point.

Upon reaching your orgasm the man between you now hovers above you with his lips drenched in your release, and grabs on his hard length and positions right where your hole clenches, the release makes the slide just perfect for him to slide inside you and a moan tremble from his lips.

“Yeah perfect, keep going,”you say and grab on the small wisps of hair on the back of his head, and he grunts at the tight fit making him almost “relax angel, I promise I'll be good just please....”soft moans leave his mouth and both cum at the same time.

After a few minutes, Eunwoo lays on the side of your bed and talks to you until an awkward silence fills in and you call his name softly “Eunwoo...” sighing he gets up and leaves the bed and soon goes to grab his clothes and place a last kiss on your cheeks before telling you goodbye.

You sigh feeling bad for telling him to go but yeah you were always like this, and he knows it well just like that waking up from the bed you grab on the new sheets to change and place soft pillows all over your big bed and go back to sleep peacefully.

THE NEXT MORNING

“Hey hi! I'd like to order a butter croissant and black coffee” You get the cash ready and tell the counter women to take your order, not realizing you hear someone calling your full name and when you turn around to see it no one then "Mr. jeon your gynaecologist."

With a flustered smile, you tell him a quick "hi" before paying her the bill and getting off the line, you didn't expect him to get off the line with you, in a flustered state you ask him if he lives here and all the stuff and grab your order just to tell her she can pack this as a takeaway.

Rolling her eyes she packs up the drink and food and gives you the bag while Jungkook just gives you a crooked smile and walks out “Hey by the way I got my period last week” you tell him, and it gets more than awkward it was earlier.

“Oh, that's great, good to see you” Jungkook says, and you wave a quick bye when you get a call from your coworker and leave the place Jungkook stands there, and a smirk paints his lips.

This is the fourth time you are pissed at your coworker today; they fucked up the most important file “Can you at least get me a copy of the papers?” you ask again getting disappointed again “Sorry ma'am I didn't get the photocopies of it” Your intern says and you just sigh.

“Okay maybe try searching the file again, and if not I'll contact the clients and tell them to send the original copies,” you tell and dismiss the meeting, at this point, you need nothing more than a cold martini.

“Can you believe Chae, they misplaced the fucking file, I'm glad they weren't the original or else I would've been fucked” you say very much pissed at the events which happened today, while Chae and Yuna just sip on their drinks after trying to calm you down.

“Chill baby, everything's going to be fine you need to calm down y/n” your friends tell you and you just sigh, you long for nothing more but a break from this bullshit, paying up for the drinks today you say goodbye to your friends and go ahead to meet yoongi, who is the position of cleaning up for the day.

“Hey, how are you y/n?” Yoongi asks in a very yoongi manner his front teeth appearing when he talks to you, and you tell him all the events happening with you while he places two glasses of whiskey in front of you.

You don't even notice it is past one a.m. until Eunwoo texts you.

EUNWOO🫣🫣: hey, you up?

YOU: busy right now.

YOU: rain check?

"Another glass?" you ask him after chugging down the remaining glass while Yoongi hesitates and tells you he needs to stock up for a party which is happening tomorrow, you give him an embarrassed smile and tell him it is fine, and you will leave Yoongi feels equally embarrassed to cut you off for the night.

YOU: Free now, will be in 15 mins.

"Fuck right there" you moan at your ex- fuck buddy who is fucking you like a slut, your face down facing the sheets while he hammers from the back, his moans and grunts fill the room, and the room smells of sex and sweat.

"Fuck baby, you are so tight, missed me while I was away, right?" Eunwoo mutters while thrusting inside you and you choke on your moans and manage to mumble a small "yes" clenching on the sheets you cry for more, you needed this after a long day at work.

"Gonna cum.....ye-ah right there" you shutter at one point when he finds your g -spot, the slapping of his hips fastens just when you cum and cream his cock, and the man behind you slows and pulls out a bit just to see the creamy slick forming at the base, "fuck so messy y/n," Eunwoo says while he fills you up with his hot cum.

"On your back baby," he says, and you obey at lightning speed and your eyes shut at the moment when he nibbles on your pebbled nipples, you twitch at the feeling until you moan out loud when his thumb rubs on your clit and his index finger enters you.

Your pussy gushes out the mixture of both of your releases and messes up the sheets under you, Eunwoo continues to slurp and nibble your nipples while you whine at the overstimulation and fall apart on his fingers again for the second time in the night.

"lay down wanna suck you off real good" you whisper and kiss his lips in the heat of the moment, now that you are in between his thighs you start laying some soft kisses all over the tip and he whines at the sensitivity.

The taste of your releases still lingers on his tip, and you whimper at the taste, sucking on the tip Eunwoo above you is about to lose on for the second time, his soft grunts surrounded the room as you palmed and layed soft kisses on his balls.

The tightness of the grip he has on your hair ensures you that he is about to cum and increase your pace in palming him and you soon let him cum in your mouth and you swallow like a good girl you were.

You don't know why you let Eunwoo stay even after it was ruled to never let any fuck buddy stay at your house after fucking but here you are in his embrace and cuddling him.

A/N: Thank you for the reading ik it is confusing not Appeling ending or the whole chapter I'm sry but I'll do better. tag list is open.

TAGLLIST: @jungk97kwife @kingofbodyrolls @kimmingyuswifee @heyyymin @cassies-cookies @missnea @kooklovee @lovkiss @jungkooktoespost @jalexad @gimeow @lillove7 @marvelbun @namelesskeid @tyche0119 @gbbhbc123 @whoa-jo @holybxba @bangtans-momma @gdjyho @kpopsmutty69

[mystic-writings]

emergency contact | jack hodgins

pairing — jack hodgins x fem!booth!reader

summary — hodgins hasn’t heard from you in over six months, after you broke up with him and disappeared. until he gets an alarming phone call in the middle of the night

warnings — angst, canon-typical violence, mentions of death

word count — 2,528

notes — a few things: i wrote this back in january, and it was rushed and poorly done but im being self-indulgent for this one | also im not tagging anyone bc i wanna see how far this will get on its own (except for my beloved @shmaptainwrites who indulged me ily mimi)

masterlist | navigation

2:47am

Despite his many years working for the Jeffersonian, Hodgins had yet to get used to his phone ringing at odd hours. With a groan and a stretch, his palm landed where his phone lay on the nightstand table. Without checking the caller ID, he picked up the phone and slurred out a tired greeting to the caller on the other line.

“Hello, Dr. Hodgins, I’m Marie, calling from the George Washington University Hospital.” Why was a hospital calling him so late at night? “You’re listed as the emergency contact for Y/n Booth, correct?”

Your name sent a shock through Jack’s body. “I— I guess so, yeah. Why? Is she okay?”

“Your fiancée was shot on duty, sir. She’s in surgery right now. We suggest you be with her when she wakes up.”

Without a second thought, Jack hung up the phone and flung out of bed. He didn’t care how things ended between the two of you, good or bad, but he knew one thing for certain: he needed to make sure you were okay. After scrambling for a decent set of clothing and his car keys, Jack rushed out of the house and down the near-empty streets to the hospital you were taken to. 

Even though his mind was running at a mile a minute, Jack managed to recall what the nurse had told him. Shot on duty. You took a sabbatical seven months ago, were you back in town? Surely Booth must’ve known, he was your brother and co-worker, he had to have. Did he spare telling Jack to avoid the inevitable turmoil? Obviously you’d been back long enough to take a case, so it wasn’t like you had decided to come back out of the blue. 

By the time he found parking, it was half past 3 in the morning, and Jack’s heart refused to stop beating out of his chest, his palms sweating rivers as he clenched and unclenched them. Despite all of this, though, he approached the front desk with a cracking resolve, trying his best to be put together for the sake of not distressing the night staff and lingering patient family members. 

“Could you tell me where Y/n Booth is?”

The nurse behind the counter glanced up at him. “Connection to the patient?”

“I’m her-” he stumbled on the words. “Her, uh, fiancé. Emergency contact.” 

She typed a few things into the computer when a voice from behind caught Jack’s attention. 

“Hodgins.” Booth called, approaching with a weary face and a cup of likely burnt coffee.

Jack nearly sprinted over to the man, blue eyes frantically searching for answers in his features. “What’s up, man? I mean, what the hell happened?”

Booth took Hodgins by the arm and led him down a hallway, over to the elevators. “We were going after a perp. I told her not to go in first, that I’d handle the hard part. She didn’t listen, the bastard got her from behind, shot out one of her kidneys. Been in surgery for almost,” he checked his watch, “three hours now.” 

Jack deflated just as the elevator doors dinged open. The pair stepped inside, the space empty apart from themselves. “I just— I don’t get it. Yesterday, she was somewhere even I didn’t know, taking some damn sabbatical. Yesterday, I was still pissed at her. Now? She’s in surgery because she was on a case. Because some asshole shot her. I mean, what the hell am I supposed to do with that, Booth?”

Unable to provide any kind of emotional support or response, Booth remained quiet as his friend tried his best not to break down in the elevator. 

When the doors opened, Jack attempted to regain his composure as best as he could while Booth led him down the hall. There was a separate waiting room here, for family members who had someone in surgery. He sat opposite Booth, next to a sleeping little girl and her obviously exhausted mother. 

He had no bearing of the passage of time, and felt as though there was no energy left within him to check the watch on his wrist. All he did was sit with his hands on his knees, head tilted to the sky, one leg bouncing like an infinite rubber ball. At some point, a doctor came out to notify the mother of her husband’s successful surgery — his tumor was gone, he’d told her, and there was little chance of it coming back. 

It wasn’t until the sun started to peek in through the waiting room windows that a surgeon called out your name. Booth had been asleep in the chair across from Jack, but he was wide awake. The pair jumped up and approached the doctor, throwing questions at him rapidly. 

“Y/n is okay. Surgery went well, though we’ll have to keep her here for longer than expected.”

“Why? What happened?” Booth asked. 

The doctor sighed. “Due to the location of the entry wound, the bullet caused too much damage to her right kidney. For now, she’ll only be functioning with one until we can find a donor match. She’ll be on dialysis weekly and some medication to assist the working kidney, but otherwise, she’ll be just fine in a week or so. The bullet did puncture the liver and small intestine, but the speed of the bullet slowed enough to only cause minor damage, nothing we couldn’t fix up.” He told them, and a wave of relief crashed over the pair. “She’s being brought up to her room now, if you’d like to go wait with her.”

Jack only nodded, Booth trailing him as the doctor led them up one more floor, where you were being transferred to the ICU. It was painful, seeing you after so  long, only for you to be hooked up to so many machines, laying nearly helpless in a bed. He pulled a chair up to your right side, reaching for your limp hand to hold, hoping you could feel him. 

Hoping you knew he was there. That you knew he always would be.

Booth leaned against the door frame, watching everything with anguish. After you left for California, you kept in constant contact with your older brother. But even in those months, you never explained why you broke off the engagement so suddenly. Why you took a surprise sabbatical, why you went to California specifically. Why you became so closed off, so cold to everyone, even to Parker. 

After a while, Booth left Jack alone to go pick up Parker from his mother’s house. He promised to be back later, your nephew in tow, and pressed a featherlight kiss to your forehead before he left. 

Jack, swimming in an ocean’s worth of thought, barely noticed the sun coming over the horizon in the window opposite him. All he could do was process the emotions flowing through him. Anger, that you left him so suddenly and without explanation. Despair, that you’d come back so long ago and didn’t come to see him, to work things out. Worry, that despite your life-saving surgery, you wouldn’t get a new kidney, or that you’d never be the same again. Anger again, but at the bastard who shot you. Triumph, that he was rotting in a cell right now. 

 Jack’s only comfort in the sterile, whitewashed room was the steady beeping emanating from the heart monitor, a small assurance that you were okay. His hand remained clasped over yours for hours, thumb stroking the smooth skin on the back of your hand. Partly as a comfort to himself that you were still there, but mostly, he believed, a comfort to you. He hoped you could feel it; that you could feel his presence. He hoped his presence comforted you. 

By the time you woke up, all the worry had faded from Jack’s body and exhaustion had taken its place. He was asleep, head supported by his arm on the side of the chair, when he heard the sheets rustle in the bed. 

Somehow, in all your years of work, this was the first time you ended up in the hospital due to a job-related injury. It wasn’t the first time you woke up dazed after a surgery with little memory of how you got there, though. 

The sheets, despite being thin, weighed down your legs and torso, providing warmth and comfort. You could feel the leads for the heart monitor stuck to your chest, irritating your skin in the slightest bit. There was a cannula feeding oxygen into your system, though it rubbed the skin on the back of your ears uncomfortably. The main thing, though, was that your torso hurt. 

Despite that, you managed to notice something weighing down your right hand. It was warm, warmer than the blankets. And heavier. Garnering the courage to open your eyes, you blinked to adjust to the sunlight and fluorescent lights, trying to shift yourself upward, wincing when it pulled on your wound. Instead, you glanced over at your hand, only to find another on top of it. Following the arm connected to it, your heart stuttered and cracked when you found a sleeping Hodgins sitting next to your bed. Emotion swelled within your chest and tear ducts just at the sight of him, sleeping so peacefully next to you, his hand over yours in a firm grasp, as if that was the only thing that assured him that you were really here. 

Slowly, quietly, you tried to pull your hand out from under Jack’s, only for the movement to wake him up. He stretched with a deep inhale, blinking rapidly as he took in his surroundings. It wasn’t until he noticed you were awake that he seemed to come to his senses. 

“Hey,” he nearly whispered. “How’re you feeling?”

You bit back a scoff. “Terrible. First job back and of course I had to get myself shot.” 

Jack fought a smile, scooting forward to raise the bed up for you to sit properly. “They said they got all the fragments of the bullet during surgery. You’re down a kidney for now, though.”

You only nodded, allowing yourself some time to gather your thoughts. “Why are you here, Hodgins?”

“Apparently, I’m still your emergency contact.” He told you, sitting back down and resting his elbows on his knees. “And apparently, I still care about you enough to show up.” 

“Don’t put that on me.” You whispered, chest restricting as tears fought their way back to your waterline. “You can’t say that to me. Not after what I did to you. You should hate me. I mean, really hate me. Like, praying for my downfall, kind of hate. You shouldn’t still care about me.”

“Well, apparently I do. I thought I hated you, for a long time. But I guess I don’t.” Jack sighed,  taking your hand. You wanted to protest, to pull away, but you let him. “I guess this was a wakeup call for me. Literally. They called me at 3 in the morning to tell me you were in surgery.”

You laughed, a wet sound underlined with sadness. “I’m sorry, Jack. Really, I am. I just…”

“What, don’t love me? It’s okay. I’ve learned to live with it.” 

Even when he should hate you, Jack still understood, and even worse, he still loved you. He was, somehow, the world’s most understanding man. God, you love him. 

“No, no I don’t hate you. Actually, it’s the opposite. I just wish things could’ve gone differently.” 

Now Jack was just confused. “What d’you mean? You broke up with me for a reason, right? You told me you didn’t love me anymore.”

“It’s too complicated, Jack. I want to explain it all to you, really, but it’s not safe. I don’t know if or when it will be, and I won’t blame you if you want to find someone else, or if you already have. You deserve to be happy, Jack. You should move on from me.” 

“I don’t want anyone else.” Jack said, emphasizing each word and squeezing your hand. “I just want you. From the moment I met you, I knew you were it for me, Y/n. Even with your brother breathing down my neck to not even think about pursuing our relationship. It was terrifying, but I ignored it. Because you were too important to have in my life. I couldn’t risk passing you up. I just don’t understand why you ended things so suddenly.”

The tears that you had been attempting to keep at bay for this entire conversation now flowed freely down your cheeks, the emotions you’d kept close to your chest for nearly a year now breaking free. Jack, like the gentleman he was, gently tilted your head toward him, reaching up and using the pads of his thumbs to brush them from your cheeks. 

“I’m sorry,” you whimpered, daring to look him in the eye. 

“Don’t be.” He whispered. 

“I have to be. I hurt you. I ruined everything. And it wasn’t even worth it. It  didn’t change anything.”

Despite his confusion, Jack said nothing. He simply stood to his full height and sat on the edge of the bed, pulling you into his chest — minding your wounds and stroking your hair. “It’s okay. You’re home now. We can fix this.”

“No we can’t.” You shook your head, looking up at him. “Jack, there’s nothing left to fix. Because if we fix it, you’ll die.” 

After what felt like an eternity of swirling, spiraling thoughts, Jack found his voice. “What?”

“That’s why I left.” You said. “I was ordered to. I was working on a case, some underground organized crime syndicate. I found out some stuff I shouldn’t have. My hands were tied, I had no choice.” Choking back a sob, you wiped the tears from your face and took a breath. “It was either break up with you, call off the wedding, and leave, or everyone I loved would die. They were gonna kill you, kill Seeley and Parker, and drain your accounts. There was nothing I could do.” 

Jack pulled you in tighter, his whole worldview shifting and turning on an axis. He couldn’t speak — hell, he could barely even think right now. Jack had spent months grieving your relationship, questioning why you broke things off, harboring a ruthless anger at what his life had become, and all of it faded to dust in an instant. 

“I don’t know what to do,” you whispered, pulling Jack back to the present. “I work with these people, Jack. They could ruin me in an instant.” 

“We’ll fix this, I promise.” Jack declared, and despite the fear that had overridden your senses for the past few months, you couldn’t help but believe him. 

You only nodded, curling further into him as best as you could with your incisions. Fidgeting with the strings of his hoodie, you listened to the beat of his heart beneath you and took a deep breath. 

Soon enough, you were drifting off to sleep with the firm belief that soon enough, with the help of your family, somehow, everything would be okay. 

if you want more jack fics, please feel free to comment and let me know!! writing for smaller characters is always a gamble but if people read this i’d be more than happy to do so!

[lilbluebastard]

I’m sorry but here’s my headcannons for Leland because I’m bored 😭

- Leland is definitely a coffee and donuts man, he loves chocolates donuts with vanilla cream filling , he likes his coffee black because he’s a monster , no creamer no sugar 😔

- snores louder then the amber alerts

- he’s into woman of all sizes (he’s a raging bisexual but he’s mostly into woman in my opinion but he will fuck a man, he ain’t afraid 💙)

-he’s got a beer belly, that man may be strong but I can’t see him with a six pack that’s literally nightmare fuel for me 😭

- he stinks…….like burnt meat, burnt hair , alcohol 😭

-smokes a lot but takes his time with cigarettes, savers the taste and sometimes chokes on the smoke lol

- drinks beer, but only American brands

-has a hard time reading and can’t spell certain words

- cries sometimes but if he gets caught he’ll beat your ass

- will call gay men the f-slur knowing full well his ass is bisexual (but he don’t care, he’s Leland Coyle, the most racist and homophobic man you’ll ever meet)

- has limits which are children, he may be a horrible man but his limits are children, he will never ever in his entire life hurt a child ( from his experiences from his poor childhood he’d rather protect children then hurt them💙)

I like to think he’s still a good guy, he just needs to soften up a bit 💙

But yeah that’s about it for now lol, maybe I’ll do other characters

If you disagree tell me and if you wanna here more also tell me

[whatyadrawin]

The Fruit After the Flesh 18+ -Chapter 11-

Minors DNI!

Masterlist

Approximately 3,545 words

Pairing: Thomas Hewitt (Headcanon) x AFAB reader

This chapters Warnings:  Sexual language, foul language, use of a slur, depictions of violence. This is Slasher smut, be mindful of that and use your discretion.

A/n: This chapter was an intense write, I flew through it and the momentum continued right into chapter 12. I sort of rushed the art a little due to having a bunch of exams lined up this month plus assignments so please be patient. Let me know if you want to be in the tag list. I update chapter progress on the masterlist whenever something changes.

Please enjoy this chapter! I worked very hard on it so reblogs, comments, and likes are appreciated very much.

Tag List: @fan-goddess , @artxasa , @baybaybear1

Chapter 11

                Charlie made you stay on the property close to the house, if you needed to leave in order to work the orchard or check on the construction on your home, you had to bring him or Tommy along with you. After you told Charlie about the incident, both he and Tommy searched the property for clues, footprints, anything to be able to try and identify who it may have been hiding in the forest that night, but they always came back with nothing. It was as if the shadow person really was just a shadow and nothing more, but you knew what you saw, you saw its form very clearly in the dark of the night.

It had been three days since you told Charlie about it, Luda Mae was on edge worrying about you and your safety. Tommy was also being overly protective of you, he watched you everywhere you went when you were outside, he made you join him in the barn to have you near him while he tended to the animals, you didn’t mind spending the extra time near him.

Today was no different from the rest, the sun was bright in the sky with a cloudless expanse of blue surrounding it. You spent a lot of the morning doing laundry, as you finished hanging up the last of the garments on the outside hang line, you heard a call from Luda Mae,

“Hun, can you come in here when your good and done that laundry?”

You respond in agreement, the final clothespin now tightly pinching one of Tommy’s massive white shirts. You step down from the stool and admire the clothes swaying in the gentle breeze, you felt a certain nostalgia for hanging clothes, your grandmother used to have you help her hang the laundry on the line when you were small, and you never forgot the fresh smell of the outside air on the clothes when you took them down for folding.

You walked into the kitchen from the backdoor with the empty laundry basket in hand, Luda Mae was dressed to leave the house, she grabbed her purse and turned to look for you,

“Oh, there you are. I need to go to the gas station today. Charlie’s gon’ drop me off, then he has to go to town and get some things.” She walks over to grab her sun hat which hung on the wall, and continued,

“Thomas’ gonna be out in the barn with them cows while we’re away, one of ‘em needs a hoof trim so he’s gon’ be a while. Can you stay inside ‘til we’re back? I don’t want to risk you gettin’ hurt by some weirdo or nothin’”

You follow her to the main entrance, you felt compelled to ask,

“Shouldn’t I just stay outside with Tommy?”

Luda Mae is now already opening the door, Charlie is honking the horn in the distance to push her along,

“I just wanna be sure you’re safe hun, it’s mighty boring watchin’ a man shave a hoof down, n’ it takes forever to do.” She opens the door to leave but turns and says some final words,

“Every door in this house is locked, as soon as I close this one make sure to lock it and check the door you came in as well. If you’re in the house at least I know you won’t be messed with. I’ll be back in a few hours hun.”

She shut the door and ran to the idling truck while Charlie reamed her out for taking so long. You lock the door as she asked, and head to the kitchen to lock the back door as instructed. You sigh and look out the window at Tommy who was pushing one of the cows’ legs into the holster to prop it up for the trim -I guess I can go to my room and read for a bit-. When you entered your room, you noticed a bit of dust floating in the air, you decide to open the window to let fresh air inside. You went over to one of the bookshelves in the room and picked out a book you never got to finish from high school titled ‘Island of the Blue Dolphins’.

You lay down on your bed to start the book from the first chapter, each sentence reminded you of the past. The book took you out of your head and into someone else’s world, a story from history retold. As you continued to read you grew tired, your eyelids became heavy and before you could put the book down, you were out like a light.

Tommy was still working on the cow, he was gentle and sliced thin sheets off the keratinous layer keeping in mind the comfort level of the cow. He was at it for over an hour, he decided the cow had enough and deserved to take a break. He unhooked the leg and brought the cow out to the pasture with the others, he watched as it happily bounced away to go find a moist patch of grass to munch on. He missed you, and wanted to check in to see what you were up to and get a glass of water while he was inside.

Tommy unlocked the door to the kitchen and poured himself some water which he guzzled down in an instant, as he filled the cup again, he called out to you but there was no answer; Finishing the next glass of water, Tommy went to look for you, calling your name as he moved through each room, but there was never an answer. He felt a chill go up his spine and began searching more frantically, loudly yelling out to you in hopes you were on another floor. He went to your room and knocked on the door, no answer.

Tommy opened the door and looked around the room, he saw your bed was messed up and the window was wide open. You were gone. He screamed for you, running all over the house in case he was wrong about his assumptions but each room he checked was met with dead silence and no one to see. He ran outside, the barn was the first place to look, nothing. He ran to the wheat field, searched around each corner including inside the silo, nothing. He looked in the car graveyard, opening the doors and trunks, searching under the cars, nothing. The final place was the pond, he ran as quick as possible, he looked through the trees and all around the surrounding forest, he searched the dock and the water, nothing again.

Tommy felt like his world was collapsing in on him, he couldn’t find you anywhere, you were taken from him and he wasn’t there to stop it, he was brimming with rage at his failure to protect you.  Now that you were missing, Tommy was hell bent on finding you, he would search to the ends of the earth if he had to, he won’t stop until you are in his arms again.

-

You woke up in a dark room, it was lit dimly with old string lights. The ceiling and walls of the room were made of dirt, like they had been dug into by a shovel, the walls were reinforced by wood beams that the string of the lights would loop around. You felt exhausted, you could barely keep your eyes open and your vision was going in and out of blurriness. You felt like you were laying down on a hard surface, it was cold in this place, -am, I dreaming? Where am I?- You were too exhausted to panic, when you tried to lift your arm to rub your eyes, you realize you couldn’t, you were unable to move your whole body, the best you could manage was just curling your toes or twitching your fingers.

You groan to see if you could speak, you were able to squeak out a noise thankfully. You hear footsteps coming towards where you lay, a smell follows when the footsteps drew close, body odor, really bad body odor. You push out some words,

“Hhhwho, whos…there?” it was weak but audible.

You hear the footsteps come close to you, a chuckle rattles into your ears, someone walks up to your side and looks down at you, their face is too blurry to make out, they speak,

“Nice o’ you t’wake up.”

The voice was familiar, but you struggled to think of the person it reminded you of, you squeeze out another question,

“Hhhh…hhhwho?”

The person kneels down and gets really close to your face, its Dover. You grumble and try to move to get away but he laughs as you struggle.

“Recognize me now dontcha bitch?” his words were pointed, he continues to speak,

“Finally caught ya when those freaks went away. They fucked up muh dang fire and now yer still alive. I intend t’change that.”

You squirm, tears start to roll from your eyes, -why can’t I move? Please let this just be a bad dream- you blink frantically, feeling like if you could just push yourself then somehow you could get out of there. Dover goes over to a shelf area and grabs some ropes, he comes back to you and starts tying your arms and legs down,

“I drugged ya while y’slept in yer nice cushy bed at the Hewitt house.” He ties your hands together and attached the rope to a pole that was behind you,

“Im gon’ wait ‘till it wears off so y’can get the full effect of what I’m gonna put ya through. Payback fer Tilly just up and givin’ everythin’ away t’some whore from Canada.” He ties your feet together and lifts you so you sit upright against the dirt wall next to were you lay.

He walked away and disappeared around the corner, all you could do was cry, as time passed you started to gain your movement back and were finally able to speak. You didn’t remember anything other than falling asleep in your bed with the book, you felt like you were in a waking nightmare. You tried to scream out for help, calling each of the Hewitt’s names in case either of them could hear you, tears streaming down your face as you yelled.

Dover returned, he mocked your screaming and crying and laughed when you stopped, he looked worse than usual, his beard had grown in and was yellowing already, he smelled like he hadn’t bathed in forever. You try to free yourself from your bonds but they were so tight it just cut into your skin the more you struggled, you look up at him as he stood over you, smirking, you ask,

“Why are you doing this?!”

He tilts his head back to chuckle to himself, then says,

“I deserve some fun b’fore I take up the deed to Tilly’s property, I earned it.”

You respond,

“Where did you go after the fire? And where the fuck am I?”

He kneels down to you, his rank smell overwhelming your senses,

“When I saw the fuckin’ Hewitts drivin’ up I had t’run, so I made my way out to an abandoned lot n’ dug this hole so’s I be able t’kill ya without no one knowin’ where I was.” He looked around and continued,

“Seems it worked. Oh, y’can scream all ya want here, no one’s gon’ hear ya.” He cackled and walked over to the table where he got the ropes from,

“Y’see, Im gon’ take pleasure in fuckin’ ya up. Maybe after I kill ya, I’ll give yer body t’the Hewitts, so they can eat it.”

You hang your head down, the tears dripping onto your legs,

“What the hell are you talking about? Just let me go! If you let me go, I won’t say anything to anyone, please!” you had to choke past your tears to speak, you were so scared of what was coming next, you continue to plead,

“Please let me go, please, I don’t want to die.”

Dover just laughs at you, he turns away from the table and is holding a knife, he inspects the edge of it with his thumb as he walks over to you,

“Y’think I’m stupid? I know If I let y’go, those cannibals’ll be after me.” He kneels down and starts to cut away your shirt exposing your bra,

“Y’gon be mighty uncomfortable in the cold down here. Ain’t no comfort comin’ t’ya. While yer awake and alive, you might as well know the truth ‘bout the freaks you lived with.”

You cut in, “What?”

He smirks and continues to tear away the rest of your shirt,

“Those Hewitts, used t’eat people back b’fore the orchard grew. The economy was down, real bad, everyone left town fer greener pastures. Not them though, those dumb fucks wouldn’t leave their big fancy house. Once the food went out n’ deliveries stopped, the animals starved n’ stopped producin’, they ate what animals were left ‘til there was none.” He looked up past his brows at you,

“That’s when they started eatin’ people. Travellin’ folks would be picked off when they came in town fer gas, killed ‘em all n’ cooked ‘em up fer dinner. That big retard one did most of the killin’, he’d slaughter ‘em all then butcher the bodies fer the meat. He’s evil with how many he killed.”

You just sat still, eyes wide,

“How do you know all this? Why didn’t they kill you?”

He ran the knife up your arm, tracing the tip over your skin, he said,

“I used t’be the one deliverin’ gas to the station, only reason they had a fuckin’ store t’begin with. Then when Tilly came round, she hired me on t’start up the orchard. She paid me t’keep quiet. None of it matters now anyway, I’m gon’ report them to the sherriff, and blame them fer ya dyin’”

You yell at him, “What makes you think they won’t hunt you down after I’m dead?”

He laughs,

“They ain’t gon’ get the chance, the sherriff’ll be called b’fore I leave this hole after I’m done with ya”

You start screaming again, as loud as you could just in case any of the Hewitts were nearby. Dover slaps you across the face,

“Save yer screams fer when the fun starts.”

The sting from his slap was panful, you already felt dizzy from the drugs he injected into you wearing off, the slap just made it all worse. You try to struggle again, hoping to possibly get loose form the rope, Dover was now cutting away at your shorts laughing at your efforts to escape,

“Struggle all ya want whore, yer never getting’ out of those knots.”

You curse at him,

“You fucking evil pig, what are you planning?”

He tears away the cloth from your shorts, now exposing your underwear, the chill of the room now giving your skin goosebumps, you feel so cold you shiver. He says,

“I’m gonna take y’apart, piece by piece.” He laughs to himself as he gets up to grab something off the table again.

You wriggle your hands back and forth; you start to feel the rope loosen so you continue steadily wriggling to help loosen it more. You watch Dover to make sure he still has his back turned, you were able to get your hands free, you start to untie your feet while watching Dover. You were able to loosen the rope on your feet and quickly placed your hands back to where they were, holding the rope with them so he didn’t know they were untied, he turned around and had a larger knife with him now.

He came and squatted down to look over your body, he touched your leg and ran his calloused hand up your thigh,

“Don’t know where t’start.” He said as he looked over your legs.

He placed the knifes edge on your collarbone, he pressed in and you winced in pain, he started laughing maniacally, his eyes closed tightly as he threw his head back with glee. Just as he exposed his neck, you punched him right in the Adams apple and he fell backward choking. He dropped the knife to his side as he held his throat, you picked it up and plunged it into his calf, it penetrated and sliced through his muscle and poked through the other side, he clenched his calf with his hands as he choked, trying to catch his breath.

You removed the rope fully from your feet and ran out of the area, you turned the corner and found a doorway made of scrap metal, you fling the door open and start running, barely able to see in front of you. The pathway was at an incline upwards, it led you to a dead end, you looked around for a door and spotted a ladder, you looked up and saw a wooden latch door. You frantically climbed the ladder and pushed up on the door, it opened up to a field with extremely tall grass, you were almost fully out of the hole when you felt a tug at your foot, Dover was behind you pulling you down, it made you fall to the ground above the latch door and he began to drag you into the hole, you screamed as loud as you could.

You were almost pulled in again but you landed a swift kick to Dover’s face with your free foot, he grunted in pain and fell backward into the hole, letting go of your foot. You closed the latch door and ran as fast as you could through the grass, you didn’t know where you were but you knew you needed to put distance between you and him. The sky was dark, it was already nightfall, you were grateful for the heat, it was warming your cold, exposed body. You snuck your way through the grass, being careful to not leave an obvious trail for Dover to find you. You hear his laugh,

“Im gon’ find you bitch! You can’t hide from me!” His words resonated loudly, he was nearby.

You crouch down low and quiet your movements to try and hide in the grass as best you could. You hear him shuffling haphazardly as he floundered around the brush. He was getting closer; you quietly move yourself to a denser area of the field and kneel down as low as possible. You listened for him, his footsteps were inching closer to you, you could hear his heavy breathing and sat as still and quiet as possible when you saw his legs through the strands of vegetation surrounding you,

“Come out lil’ piggy, I’m gonna getcha” he called out for you in a sing-song way, sounding even more unhinged than before.

He was now right next to where you were, you hitched your breath and lowered yourself further into the grass hoping for the best. After a few seconds of just hearing his heavy breathing, he moved on. You waited for a good minute and then when you couldn’t hear his movements again, you quietly snuck away. You continued moving in the same direction, hoping it was going to at least get you to a road, you raised your head above the grass slightly to see where you should go, a forest could be seen in the distance so you made your way towards that, now running as fast as you could.

Just when you reached the edge of the forest you felt your hair pulled back roughly, it made you fall backward and you yelped in pain.

“Gotcha!” he shouted with glee.

Dover dragged you closer to him by your hair, you scratched and clawed at his hand to release your hair. You were at his feet now, he let go of your hair and stood over top of you, he placed his foot on your stomach and stood onto you, you yelled out for help with your last inhalation. He kept applying pressure, now making it hard for you to breathe in, you punched his leg as hard as you could but this just made him laugh loudly. He dropped himself on top of your body, he placed his legs on your arms to prevent you from moving, you gasp for air and let out another scream.

Dover punches your face, you yell in pain and feel dizzy again, his hands are now around your neck squeezing your throat. In this moment, you feel helpless, you can’t squirm enough to get him off of you and now the blood is unable to get to your brain causing you to slowly slip into darkness. As the world around you begins to fade, you hear a low rumbling, like the growl of a wolf. The pressure from your neck is gone and there’s no one on your body, as the blood starts rushing back into your brain you gasp for air, coughing and sputtering as you roll over onto your front.

The sound you heard was no wolf, it was the revving of an engine, a small engine, a chainsaw.

Next chapter-

[zoobiefish]

I am WAY behind on Auctober again! Ugh, university, am I right?? 😩 Hopefully for the final 2 days I’ll get some art done for it, but in my years of accepting my Autism I’ve come to understand that I can’t always meet NT expectations—and that’s okay 😁 Anyway, let’s get caught up:

22: Disabled

Yes, Autism is a disability. Yes, I am disabled. And that’s okay! I often see able-bodied and able-minded people treat the term “disabled” as if it is a dirty word. They’ll try to fluff it up by replacing it with “differently abled” or similar terms. But the truth is that by fluffing up the terminology, you do more harm than good—all it does is make disability more stigmatized than it already is. So yes, the term is “disabled.” It’s not a slur, it’s not a dirty word—it’s just a word! And it accurately describes me as well. There are some things that I will never be able to do that NTs can do with ease and take for granted…and that’s perfectly—you guessed it—okay! I have challenges in my daily life that will never go away. All that means though is that I need the proper supports in place so I can function. Now, I do need to acknowledge that my Autism is considered “high-functioning” (clinical words, not mine!) so I understand that I don’t face nearly the same struggles as “low-functioning” or “middle-functioning” (again NOT my choice of words) Autistic people do. I do struggle with the things the majority of Autistic people across the spectrum struggle with though; I have extreme difficult reading non-verbal cues, understanding tone of voice or text, facial expressions…and this can often lead to unintended hurt feelings—whether they be mine or someone else’s. I also struggle very much with sensory issues. Crowds, loud noises, squishy, rubbery textures, and certain smells can set off a panic attack and/or meltdown in me. I often have to wear headphones if I know something like construction is going to occur where I live—power tools are my KRYPTONITE!! I also get stressed and overwhelmed extremely easily. I find I have to come up with a lot of strategies and life hacks to keep up with the demands of university life that most don’t have a problem with. These are just to name a few of my struggles—I could be here all day explaining all the ways Autism affects my life, but I got more prompts to catch up on!

23: Synesthesia

Oooo, a fun one! I wish I could say have the really cool synesthesia people talk about in the media a lot—but I don’t 😅 I have associative synesthesia I believe it’s called. Basically, I don’t literally see sounds as colours in my peripheral vision, or literally taste colours when I see them or anything like that. But I do *associate* different stimuli with senses they shouldn’t be related to. There are different subcategories of associative synesthesia, but I don’t have the spoons to explain them here so please Google it haha! Anyway, what I do find is that I associate certain colours with tastes. Blue for instance tastes like icing/frosting/whatever you wanna call it on a cake. Red tastes like sour cherry candies. Yellow tastes like Lucky Charms marshmallows. Another weird synesthesia thing I have is that certain numbers are always certain colours in my mind. 1 is black, 2 is light green, 3 is red, 4 is navy blue etc. Also I read somewhere that this particular thing is synesthesia, though I could be wrong: but as a kid I always associated numbers with certain character archetypes. I even cut out paper dolls of them and played with them! 1 was the “everyman” kind of character. 2 was kinda ditsy and the sidekick to 1, like Patrick from Spongebob. I don’t remember any other numbers in between but I know that 5 was a conniving used carsalesman type of character, and 7 was the logical, rational one that was always trying to get 5 out of trouble—much to his chagrin. Man, this last factoid would’ve fit with the vivid imagination prompt! 🤣🤣🤣

24: Genetic

I don’t know honestly what all to say about this one, sorry! But I do know that while we don’t have *all* the answers yet, Autism does seem to be caused by several genetic factors. It can also run in families. I’m Autistic, 2 of my nephews are Autistic, and there’s a couple other older family members I suspect could be Autistic too—though I’m no clinician.

25: Pets

I grew up with cats all my life!! They have always been my comfort animal and I think it might be because cats remind me a lot of Autistic people: they’re misunderstood as being cold and unfeeling, but if they get to know you they can be your best friend. They can be very loving and show affection in ways you may not understand but should be appreciated regardless. They like quiet, they tend to gravitate towards their “person,” they are typically introverted, and they can get laser focused on an object of interest. My current cat is named Curry, though I call him “Sir Curry” because he’s my knight in fuzzy armour! He always knows how to comfort me when I’m sad, having a meltdown, or panicking. And he makes me laugh and gives the best cuddles! 🥰 🐈‍⬛

26: Fidgeting

I fidget a lot when I am nervous. I’ll typically play with stuff like buttons or zippers on my sweaters, or play with my lanyard that has my student card on it.

27: Stimming

Stimming is something I do A LOT!! For the uninformed, stimming refers to repetitive behaviours in Autistic (and other neurodivergent) people that helps us to regulate our senses and/or emotions. Stimming can be done for a lot of reasons—we might be super happy, we might be overstimulated, we might be *under*stimulated, we might be anxious…it could be any number of reasons, but it’s usually a way to burn off extra energy at least in my case. When I’m really, REALLY happy, I’ll kinda bounce on the ball of my feet or tap my fingers together repeatedly. When I’m excited or nervous, I shake my foot. Sometimes I rock back and forth when I’m sitting as well if I’m happy or nervous. A lot of times though, I’ll have a fidget toy with me! My favourites are any that nake clicky noises or have buttons and switches and such on then, like my fidget cube!!

28: Safe Foods

“Safe foods” refer to foods that Autistic people can eat all the time no problem because we know exactly what to expect from them. Autistic people are often stereotyped as being “picky eaters” but more often than that there’s more to it than just being “picky.” A lot of foods can taste different or have a different texture depending on how fresh it is, how ripe it is, how it’s prepared etc. which is why many Autistic people have trouble with fruits and vegetables. Myself, I don’t have much problem with most fruits and vegetables. I would even go as far to say I’m a bit of a foodie if it weren’t for the fact that I tend to eat small amounts throughout the day instead of 3 square meals a day 😅 However, I do refuse to eat pasta, any kind of noodles, jell-o, pudding or anything similarly squishy and rubbery. I just can’t do it! It makes me gag! 🤢 I also can’t deal with blueberries. The smell alone makes me nauseous!!

29: Empathy

Ahh, another commonly misunderstood aspect of Autism. Despite popular belief, most Autistic people (at least that I know) are *very* empathetic people—myself included! In fact, I would say I feel *too* much empathy, and many Autistic people feel the same. I don’t claim to be a professional so take what I say with a grain of salt and fact check with your own research, but my understanding is that today’s literature on Autism claims that Autistic people usually struggle with specific *types* of empathy rather than empathy altogether. For myself, I struggle to put myself in another person’s “shoes” so to speak. But that doesn’t mean I can’t understand what emotion a person is likely feeling in a given moment. I have an example that isn’t my own experience but rather the experience of another Autistic person I know, but I very much relate to it: When this person was a kid, they saw their mom get hurt and saw that she was in pain. They didn’t know what to do because they couldn’t exactly understand their mom’s perspective, but they understood in general that the mom was in pain and they empathized with that. So they grabbed their favourite comfort toy and offered it to their mom. Now I don’t know about you, but I would certainly call that “empathy” of some kind! I will say though that there *are* some Autistic people who don’t experience empathy at all. However, it’s important to know that lack of empathy does not make a person “evil” or anything. There is more to being a decent human being than empathy after all.

Anyway, that’s all for now! We’re almost done Auctober, I can’t believe it!! It went by so fast aaaaaaa!!!

[yourlocalabstraction]

I just wanna say something about the new video /nm

I’ve seen a lot of people assuming various things about Jash’s gender identity just from how he dresses in the dance segment. Like some folk in the cjfs are saying things along the lines of “OH EM GEE HE’S SUCH A GENDERQUEER ICON”, and others are even going as far as calling him a femboy.

I get you all have good intentions and mean this in a positive light, but please, have respect for Mr. Jash. Note that he is an actual fucking guy. Don’t woobify or idolize him to an uncomfortable extent. Also, we need to avoid forcing labels upon him. As a cis guy, his fanbase shouldn’t be shoving him into a certain corner of identity that doesn’t resonate with him, merely because of the way he dresses in a video. Plus, the outfits he’s in aren’t necessarily ‘feminine’. They aren’t gendered! They’re pieces of clothing!! Just because he’s wearing fits that go against masc norms, it isn’t an instant sign that ‘holy shit chonnathan jash gener fluid real’.

Also, this is a huge personal gripe of mine, can we PLEASE NOT CALL HIM A FEMBOY????? I haven’t seen many people do this thankfully, but, do I even have to explain why this ain’t it????? Not only do some trans people consider it a slur, but this is a real, cis, grownass man we’re talking about. As a fanbase, we need to establish and acknowledge that this guy is an actual person with feelings and boundaries.

I’ve just noticed that with a lot of GNC artists/influencers, there’s a lot of pressure from their fans to be labeled as genderqueer just because of how they appear. Please remember that gender presentation is a spectrum, and presentation does NOT equal gender identity !!! Just because a cis man is more fem-presenting than societal standards, it doesn’t instantly make them not cis. The definition of being cis is that you identify with your AAB gender. That’s the only requirement.

Anyways, I honestly hella appreciate that Jash is doing this!! We don’t see GNC cis folk to often, and this guy is just!! So valid man!!!! I am immensely comforted.

Don’t get me wrong, it IS ok to gender envy him (i sure as hell do), and complement his appearance. If you wanna say he’s pretty, go ahead!!!!! Just remember that at the end of the day, no matter whatever you say, just have respect for the guy and don’t be a fuckin weirdo with it!!!!!!!!

[likecanyoujustnot]

Cardan’s letters pov

Part 2: nearer

A/n: this part is a fair bit longer lmk if you wanna be tagged for the other parts

Part 1. Part 3

I stared at Taryn from across the room. She was laughing at something a courtier had said. I’d contemplated asking her if she’d heard from Jude, but as far as I knew she still thought Jude and I hated each other. And asking as to her well-being would be suspicious.

“Cardan.”

It took all my self control to not flinch at that voice.

I turned to him, “Locke.”

“You seem to be particularly gloomy tonight.”

I ignored him and looked at the faeries, all of them drunk or drinking, laughing and dancing. Happy.

“You could have you pick of any of them.” I could hear the smirk in his voice. “Maybe more than just one. Wouldn’t be the first time now would it?”

I wish Jude was here. I’d ask her to stab him. Not so bad that he would die, just enough to shut him up.

I’d been like that the past weeks. I’d sent the letter 8 days ago. She’d now been gone for 19 days. If past Cardan could see me know, moping over a mortal, fantasising about my former best friend getting stabbed, not even touching the wine in my hand, he’d laugh and sneer, call me pathetic.

“No it would not.” I still didn’t look at him.

“This mood wouldn’t have to do with a certain Duarte sister’s recent exile would it?”

“In case you’ve forgotten, Locke,” I threw as much venom into his name as possible. “I exiled her, I knew exactly what I was doing.”

“Yes well, usually by now you’d be drunk out of your mind, a few lovely ladies draped over you and a gaggle of courtiers hanging off your every alcohol-slurred word.” He laughed. “Seems that that crown has made you rather boring.”

I wanted to throw said crown at him.

“Come join the party, a bed that big is surely too big for only one.”

There was only one woman I wanted in my bed. And she was currently in the mortal world.

“Perhaps you should be more worried about the amount of people who may be in your wife’s bed.” I threw a pointed glance at Taryn, standing awfully close to a green-haired faerie.

I would bet my title that Locke had not stayed loyal to his wife. The fae had twisted views on fidelity to one’s spouse, it was frowned upon, but also expected, especially among the likes of Locke, who believed they could do whatever they wished, I wouldn’t be surprised if Taryn took another lover to balance it all out. I had no intentions of ever betraying the trust of my wife.

Though I had already done that when I exiled her hadn’t I?

Locke didn’t even look at Taryn. Since we were both married to a Duarte sister, that technically made us brothers, though I would rather be drowned than ever acknowledge that to him.

“What my wife chooses to do with her spare time is none of my concern.”

Yes, like pretend to be her sister and trick the king into removing his general from his oaths, allowing him to do whatever he wants.

“Did you have any particular reason for bothering me Locke?” I looked at him, brows raised, unamused.

“Yes, about my birthday.”

“Your birthday is in five months.” That was it?

“Yes, I have something extravagant planned and I-”

I could see where this was going. “You are not using my gold to pay for your foolish personal revels, you have enough of your own.”

There was a flash of anger in his gaze as he said, “Very well. It appears some of Jude’s sensibility rubbed off on you,” and he left.

Good riddance.

I turned my attention back to studying Taryn. Everyone said they were identical, and they were, but I could tell the difference. Taryn didn’t seem to glow the way Jude did. Didn’t draw attention, didn’t make me want to do foolish things like declare how I felt for the world, risk war simply to get her back, do the things that haunted my most depraved thoughts.

Or maybe I couldn’t, since Taryn had fooled me. But I had been poisoned. And she had a strange quality to her skin.

I got up from the throne and left the party, walking to my room.

I was going to write another letter to Jude.

Locke was right, the bed was too big for just one. So I had to convince my wife to come back to me, to join me in that bed.

Jude,

Please come home, back to me, I need you

Why was putting my thoughts into words so difficult?

Maybe I should’ve been paying attention in school instead of getting drunk and spending half my time tormenting Jude and the other half staring at her and hoping no one noticed.

There had to be a reason she hadn’t come back didn’t there?

I assumed she was staying with Vivienne in the mortal lands, where Oak was as well. One would think if anything happened to her Vivienne would tell me, or at least tell Taryn, and if Taryn heard, Locke would, and he would undoubtedly lord it over me.

No.

Jude was stronger than that. She would never let anything in the mortal lands harm her, even if through nothing but force of will.

I wondered if her every waking moment was as filled with thoughts of me as mine were of her.

The guard had assured me that the last letter had made it to a messenger, so I didn’t see how she would not get it.

There was only one other reason she wasn’t coming back: me.

Had she felt that betrayed by the exile that she was staying away to spite me? Was the thought of being married to me, being my queen, that horrible that she didn’t want to come back? It seemed like something she would do.

Jude,

Since I cannot imagine there is much in the human lands to interest you, I can only suppose your continued absence in Elfhame is due to me.

I urge you. Come be angry at a nearer distance.

Cardan

I refrained from begging her to come back. Though if she didn’t respond to this I very well might.

If I had any clue where she was I’d go there personally. But I’d need to ask Taryn, and I did not want to talk to her.

This time I personally took the letter to a messenger I found scampering through a hallway. Half human male. Might be inclined to deliver a letter to another human.

“Make sure this gets to her.”

He nodded and took off, no questions as to why the king was sending a letter to his exiled seneschal.

It was out of my hands now.

All I could do was wait.

[dearhargrove]

Hii can you do Ethan x Reader where reader grew up with Ethan and his family so she was always close with him and Quinn and they go to the same college and are in Tara’s group but when they go to the party reader gets really drunk and Ethan takes care of her and the next morning reader thanks Ethan and they end up confessing 🫶🫶 (can have slight smut at the end if you want)

Let me care for you

Ethan Landry x fem!reader (but isn't specified I think)

summary You're drunk - your eyes unfocused and mind working at 0.5 speed. But one thing you knew for certain was that Ethan Landry was half-carrying you to your dorm and taking care of you.

word count 1426

warnings swearing, alcohol

a/n this was so cute! I wrote this dead tired and google docs wouldn't spell check, so if there's any errors tell me pls <3 otherwise enjoy! Oh, also: I know I made Ethan a lil more confident than he probably is canonically BUT him and reader have known each other for so long he's just comfortable around her and doesn't second-guess himself! Hope y'all don't mind and I also don't think it's that apparent, anyway

masterlist

navigation

You were drunk. Wasted, even. There were other students surrounding you, dancing and drinking, some you even knew from a random class or seeing them around campus. Well, right now? You weren't seeing anyone - at least not clearly. Your vision was fuzzy from the shots you'd drank pretty much the second you had gotten here with Tara and the rest of the group.

The party was fun and the music was good, the alcohol even better. So far you hadn't thought about your unfinished assignments and essays, you'd left all the stress in your dorm after pregaming with Quinn (and Ethan warily watching).

You were stumbling through the living room and kitchen, trying to decide whether to find another drink or just dance for now. However that decision was made for you when you arrived in the kitchen to see the few people there browse through bottles - all empty.

“Wait, they're out?” You drunkenly slur, glancing at the boy that was standing at the kitchen island next to you. You just barely hear his laugh, “Yeah.”

That's where the conversation had ended in your book, but he turns around and faces you, a grin on his face. “I haven't seen you around here?” You stop in your movements and look at him in your peripheral vision, hoping he'd take the hint and notice your definite disinterest.

He didn't.

“You don't wanna talk to me, princess?” He teases, though even in your drunken state you hear the slight aggravation in his voice. “No, sorry,” you dismiss and turn to leave the kitchen. He yells an insult after you and in turn you hold up your middle finger without looking back. Great, now your good mood is ruined.

Pursing your lips you look around the full hallway and living room, trying to spot at least one or your friends. How did they manage to turn invisible? You frown and stumble along a wall, your hand on it supporting you as you pass by a random couple making out (you don't know if the bile in your throat is from the copious amounts of alcohol you'd drank or these two but you're pretty sure it's the latter).

You don't know if you're imagining it or not but you can hear your name being called in a familiar fashion. You squint your eyes in suspicion and do a quick twirl, surveying the people. You regret that immediately, remembering why exactly you never moved that hastily while intoxicated. “Oh, God…” you lean over and heave, silently begging to whoever would hear you to let you get to a bathroom before vomiting on the floor of this frat house.

You feel a hand appear on your back, casually stroking along it in hopes to calm you down. Your brows crease and you're about to lash out at whoever thought they had the right to be touching you when you see the familiar pair of shoes and recognize the voice.

Ethan!

You look to the side and upwards, seeing the curly hair covered with the dorky cardboard knight helmet from his last minute costume (that you had helped him with!). He has a worried frown on his face and is talking but you don't hear him, focused on his unhappy expression. Who made him upset? Who did you have to have a word with?

You swallow and stabilize yourself on the wall again before straightening up, him copying your movement with his hand now on your shoulder.

With determination to make him happy again you reach out and press your thumb on the frown, trying to smooth it out. “Why is it not- Ethan. No frowning.” You warn when your thumb doesn't do the job.

There's a flicker of surprise on his face and then he laughs, “How much did you have to drink tonight?” It makes you giggle and you shake your head with a finger on your mouth, “It's a secret.”

He raises his eyebrows and then his hands in mock surrender, “Alright, alright. I won't tell anyone. If I hadn't seen you dry heave I wouldn't have had a clue you had something to drink.”

You squint your eyes again but decide to believe him. Then the music you'd ignored faded back in and you groan, really not a fan of the way you could feel the vibration of the bass in your gut (you were a hair's width away from puking, this was not making it any better).

“Hey lovie, let's get you home?” Ethan suggests and puts an arm loosely around your waist. He never held you tightly, always loose enough that you could just slip out of his hold if you wanted to.

You see this as an offer and lean your full body weight against him, mumbling about going home and being happy to see him after wandering around this house, unable to find anyone.

He catches and holds you up with ease, gently guiding you to what you guessed was the front door (could've been a window and you wouldn't have batted an eye) before leading you outside.

Cold, crisp air surrounds you and suddenly you can breathe again, the music only in the background.

“Fresh air is great, isn't it?” He asks with amusement and you manage a glare that makes him grin.

“Alright, I'll help you walk home.”

-

Now, almost an hour later, you're back in your dorm. The small, dimmed lights around the room are turned on and Ethan is busying himself, cleaning (you guessed, he was mainly moving stuff around and then putting it back).

You simply sit on your bed, hands under your thighs and feet swinging as you watch him, only looking away when his quick movements overwhelm your drunk brain.

“Alright, come here. You can't sleep in that,” he finally says, holding a shirt (your favorite!) and sleep shorts in his hands. Instead of complying you cross your arms and eye him up and down, “and why can I not sleep in this?” Your party outfit is… well, a party outfit. Apart from the overall vibe and fit there was definitely some liquor that had burned its way into the fabric.

“Because it smells like tequila and you'll hate me tomorrow if I let you lay in bed with it,” he calmly explains and nonchalantly kneels in front of you to help you take off your shoes.

Your eyes are droopy and teary as well as a dull pulsing at the back of your head. You're almost asleep by now, having been convinced to change and get ready for bed (Ethan had gently but clumsily cleaned off your make up with some wipes and then you'd tiredly brushed your teeth and changed).

But, even now with you already in bed, he was still here, back against Quinn's bed and sitting on the floor.

Cuddled under your blanket you blink tiredly at him, “Eth?” He looks up from his phone and looks at you attentively. You just take him and his cute costume in for a second before a warm smile appears on your face. “Thanks. You don't have to do this but you do anyway…”

You seem to surprise him with that and he puts his phone down, “Nothing to thank me for.” You smile warmly, no strength to phrase how thankful you actually felt.

“I'm glad it's you. Taking care of me.” You admit, the haze of drunkenness fading with the time and water you've chugged. “I'm glad too.”

You're staring into his brown eyes, the light of your desk lamp illuminating them beautifully as he smiles at you, this time a bit more shy.

“Eth?” You mumble and you two just look at each other before he gets up and you lift the blanket. He lays down with his back facing the door and yours facing the wall, a palm coming to rest on your cheek.

“I'm happy you're my best friend.” He says, but there's a slight hesitancy as he says the last thing.

Maybe it was the buzz from the drinks or just the vibe of right now but you lean in and press your mouth to his. You're both too out of it and tired to do more than this, smiles in between short pecks.

It was sweet, no words needed to be exchanged between you to know what this meant.

You would talk about it in the morning with both your heads clear, but for now all you needed was to be cuddled against his chest, his hand lazily stroking along your back.

[ironunderstands]

I need y’all’s help for something!!

I wanna make another post about Aven’s peacock symbolism bc I found some things and oh boy do I have THOUGHTS, however it’s very hard to research this kinda stuff (esp because I’m already dog at researching things) so if any Romani people can inform me of how they view peacocks/evil eye that would be much appreciated 🙏🙏 I’m aware a lot of stuff is closed practices so I will take the sorry but no answer too 😭 and if I shouldn’t talk about it at all pls tell me (trying to find a source that doesn’t refer to Romani people as the slur for them was damn near impossible so it’s hard to be certain if the info in the:3 sources was placed out of good faith or not, ie should the general public have access to it)

I’ve pretty much only found stuff saying peacocks are a bad thing due to their association with it, as the evil eye is viewed as dangerous/bad in at least Eastern European Romani culture), as well as if the evil eye itself is demonic/associated with the devil but I’m not Christian so I would also need a confirmation on that. It seems like Romani Christians especially swear off peacock related stuff (including their meat), although whether that is related to demonic reasons and/or the general cleanliness rules of both Roman culture or Christianity is something I need to look into more. If anyone actually knows how to research stuff l please help me because I am embarrassingly bad at it and the ghost of academic integrity will haunt me forever if I do not feel my sources are accurate.

A sneak peak of the idea I’m working on is that basically either a ->

Hoyo adorned their Romani coded character in curses either by tone deaf accident or bc they wanted to make fun of him. Which isn’t good or necessarily out of character for the stupid ass company

Or b (the more interesting nuanced interpretation)

Aven views his own luck and by extension himself as a curse so he wears the symbol of that in his culture across his body. As a reminder of both his self loathing and his failure to save the Avgin with his so called “good luck”.

It also has some really interesting satanic implications once you throw Jade + the fact that he only started wearing/being associated with peacock stuff post joining the IPC. Jade already has her references to Christianity, specifically Satan w the snake, contracts and apple in her art, making Avens deal with her for his life a metaphorical deal with the devil/agent of the devil. Most likely out of shame for failing to save the Avgin, working for the people who betrayed them + the previous stuff Aven dawns the peacock related clothing to show he’s cursed.

Also the evil eye is very much related to envy which also suits Aven’s character a lot but I’ll talk about it later

[marriedtosuku]

Swim Part III

An: Thank you all who have liked, reposted, and commented on any of my works. I truly appreciate it.

“can you turn it off! We have listened to this 7 times already.” My roommate, Utahime plugs her ears when the chorus begins for the uptenth time.

“Shush, I am busy wallowing in ice cream and horror movies.” I shove another spoonful of my favorite ice cream. “It is actually pretty therapeutic.”

‘you can’t keep ignoring them, y’know?” she squats down in front of me. “you’ve been ignoring Ryo’s messages and you blocked Gojo…I mean Gojo can stay blocked because fuck him, but Ryo doesn’t deserve this.”

It has been a few weeks since that awkward encounter between Satoru and Sukuna, with Gojo blowing up at me- the first beat of emotion I’ve received from him in a long time- about leaving without hearing him out. But as I sit and think, how can I hear out someone who didn’t even have the decency to break up with me? He ignored me. Ignored my presence, text messages, and phone calls. For weeks, I practically begged my own boyfriend to love me…. How pathetic is that?

‘I don’t want to lead anyone on or maybe I am looking too deep into Ryo messages about going to this party.” I groan. “ what if he thinks I’m using him as a rebound or what if he’s just as bad as Satoru?”

“Who said anything about dating! Just go out and have fun with an extremely sexy guy who knows how to wear an apron. “ Hime rationalized. "Plus he seems pretty chill from the few times we all hung out.”

One night couldn’t hurt…

One night couldn’t hurt…

“you need this. Don’t let that blue-eyed demon ruin your prettiest years.”

“Okay maybe you’re ri-” a loud bang interrupts me. “ Who is that?” I peer over at my mischievous roommate.

“I might’ve already texted Ryo when you were gorging on ice cream.” she squels when I rushes towards her while she beelines for the door.

“HIMEEEE NO!!!” I wrestle with her over the door knob. We ruffle against the door with quiet grunts, but I am certain Ryo can hear everything which makes me want to crawl underneath my blanket until I disappear. “ this is for your own good.” She tickles my abdomen, a weakness as a topple to the floor in exaggerated defeat. 

“Hey Sukuna.” an amuse giant stood before us wearing his signature outfit of a cropped band t-shirt and ripped jeans. With a quirk brow, he waves at us while I hope my floor would swallow me whole but alas, I peer up at him and am met with crimson irises staring back at me. He quickly lends me a hand.

“thank you,”

“So is this normal or do I get a free show before going out?”

“What you witnessed is betrayal by a best friend.” I clutch my chest and fall onto Utahime, who was giddy behind me. “ How could you, Hime?”

“bro, shut up. Sukuna, take care of my friend.” she gently pushes me into his awaiting arms.

Hours passed, I was nursing my third fruity alcoholic beverage while Ryo went dancing with another bar patron. “Are you sure?” he asked. “ don’t wanna leave you alone.” I wave him off, knowing that he wants to dance with her. "Go! have fun!” He stares me down before disappearing into the pool of sweaty, drunk bodies. “Can I have another drink?”

“she’ll actually take water, thanks.” Gojo slid his card to the bartender. “ ya’know you are a lightweight.”

“what are you doin’ here.” I slur.

He merely shrugs his shoulders. “I need a drink.” he raises his shot glass. I take a closer look at my ex. His once glowing deep blues held a malcoly of despair and exhaustion, cheeks sunken in , and his smile didn’t reach across his face. I couldn’t help but ask. “what’s goin on?”

His brows furrowed, mind wondering whatever was bothering him before he shook it off and softly chuckled. “nothing to worry about. You look good, Mochi.” Mochi… he hasn’t called me that in years since college actually. “Satrou,” he cuts me off. “it’s okay. I had a minute to think about what I have done or haven’t done in our relationship. You deserved so much more than I could ever give you and how I ended things between us proved that because it was so immature to ignore you, especially when you stopped by.” he held my hand,an icy chill washed through me when his fingers curled over mine. There was no warmth, he wasn’t the cozy blanket anymore who shielded me from the world. No, he was human just like me. He can feel, probably deeper than most. “I love you but what I do is way too dangerous, wouldn’t live myself knowing something happened to you.”

“the fuck you’re doing here!” Sukuna shields me from him. “Stay away from her.”

“Ryo,” I place a hand on his bicep. “He was just leaving, right Satoru?” his eyes bored into mine then he nods. “Right, I said what I needed to say. You guys enjoy the rest of the night.”

“What was that?” he asked after Satoru’s departure.

I shrug. “ I have no idea. What happened to your dance partner?”

“left her when I saw him talk to you.”

“Jealous  much?” I poke his ribs. Ryo rested his hand on my lower back, taking a sip of my bottled water with his smoldering gaze never leaving mine. “ What if I am?” He leaned down until we were eye level. “ can’t I be jealous?”  

I stutter a bit which makes him let out a hearty chuckle that makes his massive boobs  pecs bounce. “Just teasing,” he finished out the bottle before leading me outside. 

We strolled passed a few food vendors which makes my mouth salivate at the endless choices. Sukuna noticed my interest and shoulder bumps me.

“Want to get some food?” 

So that’s how we ended our night, consumed in the creamy, rich octopus balls and water since Sukuna refused to have me drink anymore that night. 

Nothing much happened after that…. He gave me his jacket, promising me another night out where we weren’t surrounded by intoxicated gremlins( his words, not mine). It was nice being with Ryo, but we could only be just friends, maybe.

An: I am horrible at endings, but i hope you all enjoy this conclusion to Swim.

[onthewaytosomewhere]

Some Sentences on a Sunday

So, it's Sunday, and well my sinuses have been pounding all day attempting to work their way out of my head I'm certain

Apparently, that means all I write is stuff that is nowhere near where I'm at in what I fondly call 'hockey and books' that makes me wanna cry as if the pain wasn't bad enough lol so I'm a share some of that with y'all - even though it's rough and def needs edits lol

❤️Thanks ever so much for the tags today - @typicalopposite @agame-writes @bitbybitwrites @heybuddy-drabbles @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @england-would-fall @suseagull04 @taste-thewaste @adreamareads @stellarm - I am excited to check out what ya posted ❤️

It's a double six sentence sunday today - which means I counted but didn't like where it ended and I do what I wanna really lol

Alex is soaring across the ice, skating the best damn game of his life, getting open, and putting the puck in the net; he’s got himself a hat trick this game. He, Liam, and their team are ahead and just ready to put this baby to bed. It’s less than 2 minutes left in the third period, and they’re in the middle of a power play. Some goons from the other team have been gunning for Alex the whole game, ramming him into the boards with extra force that the officials apparently don’t see, flinging slurs under their breath as they do so. Two of them had finally got caught when they had decided elbowing and butt-ending Alex in front of one of the officials who actually will call it was a good idea. So, now, here they are in the middle of a power play, fast approaching the end of this game and another win - he’s chasing the puck Liam flings in front of him. When it happens, he sees Henry in his seat out of the corner of his eye. He wasn’t even aware he was here this whole game and assumed he wouldn’t be since he had ripped Alex’s heart out only 3 days ago, but there he is, and Alex is distracted for that moment. That moment allows the guy from the other team to come at him and take him completely unaware, with no chance of bracing for the impact as he is rammed into the boards. His whole body is on fire, as the force of the collision with the wall is felt throughout; he doesn’t realize he’s falling until his ass hits the ice. He sees his helmet roll on the ice before he feels the moment of contact where his head slams into the ice. He thinks he hears his name shouted in a familiar voice, only it doesn’t sound like it usually does when he’s heard it. It’s the last thing he hears before the darkness overtakes him.

Alex will be fine, and our boys will work their shit out at some point, but they are gonna suffer a bit more in this than I had planned

As it is late(and I'm certain everyone has already done this) and I can no longer look at this laptop and need to re-med I'm gonna leave this an open tag for anyone who wants it - SO IF UR READING THIS AND HAVEN'T YET POSTED AND WANT TO PLZ TAG ME SO I CAN SEE WHAT YA WROTE AND DON'T HAFTA HUNT IT DOWN lol

[genderkoolaid]

A bit of an odd question, I know you've ranted in the past about people thinking nonbinary people aren't attractive w/o binary alignment, anyways the point is: what are your thoughts on terms like "ceterosexual" and "skoliosexual"?

Personally I like them.

The thing about exorsexism is that it's ingrained in our language and culture. We lack the language to describe being non/abinary/genderqueer because our culture enforces a binary. So I generally support any efforts to improve exorsexism in language, even if I personally wouldn't use it.

It's true that "nonbinary" does not refer to one single gender. But I would argue that "woman" and "man" are vaster categories than we give them credit for. There are people who are attracted to certain kinds of man/womanhood performance but not others, especially when it comes to queerness & ethnic cultures. Not every lesbian is necessarily attracted to the same womanhood performance, and the same goes for gay men & straight men & straight women.

And "woman" and "man" are also not synonymous with presentation. You cannot tell how someone identifies by how they present themselves. But we do use gender coding to call on cultural associations & send a message of what gender stuff we wanna be associated with. A gay trans man may dress much differently than a straight trans man, because he is trying to perform gay manhood. Similarly, an agender person may also perform things associated with gay manhood even if they don't identify at all as a man, because they want queer men to notice them. But the same things could also be done by a straight man who just enjoys things traditionally associated with gay manhood And, going off that, there are ways that nonbinary/genderqueer people signal ourselves as NB/GQ as well. Someone with brightly dyed hair, wearing lipstick with a mustache, in a skirt with a dress shirt, is performing a genderfuck-hood that can signal genderqueerness to others. Personally, I like presenting in a purposefully genderqueer way so that other queer people recognize me as "family" and will be attracted to me because of my genderqueer performance.

So, considering all that... I appreciate language that let's us express love and attraction and appreciation for genderqueerness and non/abinarity. Arguments against ceterosexuality/skoliosexuality tends to go back to "nonbinary isn't a third gender, and some nonbinary people are okay being aligned with a gender, so anything that ever centers nonbinary people and recognizes abinarity is transphobic!!!" which always leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I've seen some people say you can use them but only Ina t4t way, which I also dislike; I am t4t and gq4gq but I don't like the idea that people who are cis aren't "allowed" to express attraction towards abinarity/genderqueerness because they must be chasers.

Also, I have the theory that genderqueer language always faces more stigma and is held to a higher standard than binary language. Partially because it's newer, but also because being genderqueer/nonbinary is viewed by transphobic society as unserious and ridiculous, and has also been associated with people assigned female & "weird femininity," which brings in misogyny (even moreso than transphobia already does). This is not to say people who personally don't want to use genderqueer language are doing anything wrong– but I feel like everytime someone comes up with a term to improve the lack of nonbinary visibility in language, it is immediately lambasted for being "cringe" and "infantilizing" and "just call me a slur" which I feel, on some level, comes from the association of binary things with normality & neutrality & adulthood, and nonbinary things with childishness & queerness.

The end goal of exorsexism is to smother any sign of sex/gender transgression it finds. I feel like the criticisms of nonbinary/genderqueer-focused sexuality are just another expression of this, but done in a "progressive" way. The underlying message is that nonbinary/genderqueer gender isn't as real as binary gender; our validity as people only comes from our identification with binary systems on some level; NB/GQ people always confirm to binary gender performance and we have no ways of communicating our genderqueerness on purpose; attraction to NB/GQ people must be dirty and objectifying and it can only be expressed via the language of binary attraction, even if the object of your affection is hurt by that.