#i walk on eggshells some days.
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It's the having to reassure cis people that you're not going to crucify them for getting your pronouns wrong that fucks me up so bad. The persuasion to make a distinction between yourself and the "other" queers, as if getting upset when someone misgenders you (even by accident) is totally irrational. It feels like being allowed into the cis person's circle as "one of the good ones", like being rewarded with kindness and respect that is entirely conditional and can be revoked the moment your face twitches.
#apologies for genderposting im just gaining some clarity days after an uncomfortable conversation#if you can call it a conversation. i was listening to a friend talk about her concerns for her genderqueer sibling#and am now feeling rather angry in retrospect#gs stuff#i think this post is just describing walking on eggshells#not a fun feeling esp if you already have trauma#✌️✌️✌️ peace and love queers
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it's so frustrating dealing with a friend that seems set on finding imaginary slights against their person and seethes in silence waiting for you to figure out what you did 'wrong' this time 🤦♀️
#this is the fifth time since october i've invited her somewhere to catch up and she said no#always with some excuse#which. sure. i can't verify#maybe the 8th time in the last year she refused for some reason or another#but there's only so many times you can give someone the benefit of the doubt#when she never initiates anything and just waits for us to ask her out#and if you don't happen to do that within the secret interval of time she is available and which she never discloses#she registers it as a slight#i'm so tired of these stupid mind games how old are you/??#also she is SO hard to get hold of. never answers anything on any messaging app for days on end including the weekends#even if the proposal is time sensitive#girl you are NOT that busy bffr#i remember we invited her to see barbieheimer and she did not freaking answer on time. as usual.#and we had to get tickets without her bc the time slots quickly sold out#and ofc she was pissed at us bc she's can't be bothered to reply 🤦♀️#she always is pissed even when it's clearly her fault#when she clearly sees the message bc she DOES check the apps whaddyaknow#and the one time we did manage to see each other she had the gall to propose that we go out more often!!!#and then never initiates anything and refuses everything#ik if i were to recount this to a third person they would tell me she already checked out of this friendship#it's so stupid#having to walk on these eggshells#bc we didn't even have a falling out she's just finding pretexts to become offended#that was been her modus operandi since the freaking pandemic#good lord the stories i have#lemonposting#anyway i'm bummed out now
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haha god listening to music and having scenarios in your head is so fun, yes the scenarios are about a hypothetical good relationship with my parents why do you ask
#vent#idk i feel like i have no one to turn to#like my parents are there but relying on them feels like walking on eggshells and hiding the effects of my transition#also one of them is just a plain Disney movie antagonist to be honest#hi also i am not depressed i swear! just very sad for some reason#im content with my life#in a sense i dont want to have to see anyone ever again#just rot away in my flat forever and ever and not have to worry about conflict or agression from the people in my life#maybe im selfish idk#the earth is the home of everybody on earth#not just me#also human connections? so hard!!!#i think i may be on the spectrum but im still waiting for the official diagnosis next month#but its like im always uncomfortable around people? like im some sort of strange social parasite who does everything ever wrong and is reall#y awkward and nobody liked me ever but also when someone says they do#there's simply nothing? as if they were inly words to me#and it's not only that i dont believe it possible#but also that i just dont know the feeling#it just makes me uncomfortable to hear that despite my friends possibly believing it#it's not their fault#but i just feel like there's a barrier between me and everyone#or maybe that I'm like just some minor occurance in all these wonderful people and i disappear from their lives as quickly as i arrived?#i dont know how to feel content truthfully#walking znd listening to music can only keep me pensive for so long#i just want to be comfortable sometimes#spend a few minutes not worrying#actually accepting care and love#being deadweight if only for one short while#and not hating myself for days afterwards
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#I've been crying basically all day I'm so scared and tired of this I wish I could do something#I wish I could get out or#have some clarity but I'm so. I'm so tired of feeling this way I'm so tired of being afraid of walking on eggshells
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What do Y'all follow me for/want to see more of?
#This is the third time I've tried making this and always miss a fucking typo#trinket's rattling bones#Lately been feeling a weird downswing that shouldn't be happening#And the low engagement makes me think I need to change gears#Some days it feels like walking on eggshells trying not to get people saying how I I view something is wrong#don't mind me just rambling
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#guess who woke up with a migraine and then when she went back to sleep guess who had a NIGHTMARE#it was a bad one :)#for the entire duration of this long-ass dream I was trying so hard to impress and keep happy my abuser from college#lots of crying from yours truly#lots of ‘I wanted you so much but I was just your favorite thing in the room’ sentiments and a lot of flinching from yours truly#asleep or awake there is nothing more stressful to my brain than a social situation where I have to walk on eggshells to keep someone happy#or not even happy#just not angry#combined with some of my more recent social fears??? unpleasant#so anyway! I hated that#literally have not seen this man since we were 19 and now that I’m turning 26 in a few days I have to deal with this?#I will be laying in bed staring at a wall and absentmindedly blogging for a bit I think#my stuff
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its not as though i dont wanna get married someday but since i was dating For The Experience it was deffo a mistake to date someone who was dating With A Purpose
anyway given that i spent the entire relationship vaguely puzzled as to what i was supposed to do as an s/o and what i was bringing to the table for him and what was expected of me, i am now so ??? about the whole dating/romance thing in general fhdkdhdj
like what do i want out of dating? companionship? is this something i can only get from an exclusive partnership? i think i know the answers to these questions but the longer i stew on it the more convinced i am that app dating will never actually work for me bc i just require so much more time spent together getting to know people to feel comfortable in ANY kind of relationship and to feel a genuine connection, and the jump to extreme intimacy that the dating app thing forced on me was very disorienting. if i do go the dating app route in the future i need to be prepared to date someone for MONTHS before going exclusive with them. and i should probably also continue to date multiple ppl until i do go exclusive w someone bc i have a tendency to just go for whoever likes me regardless of how i feel about them, leading to stuff like the experience i just had. in any case i had no business entering a relationship with my ex after 3 weeks or whatever.
#but yeah big lesson learned: i need to have a Real Connection established w someone before i enter a relationship w them#otherwise i'll spend the whole time walking on eggshells bc idk what im doing and im afraid ill fuck up and get broken up with#the other lesson i learned is that although i do want to get married and possibly have a family some day#rn i literally just want to have experiences with someone and then decide on further commitment later#i dont rly want to enter a relationship with the goal of getting married constantly looking over me#i understand bringing up marriage and kids quickly bc theres no sense wasting time w someone who isnt on the same page as you for those#but in this case he kept bringing up the move to massachusetts including when he broke up w me#and i just did not see it as such an urgent thing#so i know not to date someone who is Trying To Find A Spouse#anyway now i get to go back to writing fanfiction and shit#tirah talks
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"it's easier to leave an abusive situation than it is to stop an abuser" :^( but it's not easy :^(
#repeating patterns repeating patterns repeating patterns repeating patterns#im not unsafe btw just. :^) scared :^)#tired.#starting to stop walking on eggshells kind of. in a cowardly way. like responding some of my real thoughts but at 4am#i want to scream. im not like that but i want to yell and tell her to leave me alone forever and i just want to be able to rest !#and to not be afraid. i want to move. i want to drop off the face of the earth. i want to go to bed. i want to stay awake and on guard.#idk. im tired. im so tired and i want it to stop. it's not even a big deal.#the thinly veiled insults bother me more than anything else. insult sandwich on compliment bread.#im so pretty im so stupid im so funny. im smart im too insecure im beautiful. im the most interesting person she knows im evil im talented#it's not even the worst thing it just pisses me off so much. do you think this is helpful to say? do you think this is normal?#do you think you'll get what you want insulting and belittling me as long as you tell me you think im attractive?#it's always how pretty i am. like some superficial bullshit is going to make up for an insult or make the insult disappear#and everyone else gets to leave but if i leave she'll die and it'll be all my fault and this is just like x y or z#and didnt i know she almost experienced trauma as a child but didnt? and how that effects her?#fuck. i hope she sees this tbh. how fucking insulting to see something someone's experienced and say that couldve maybe happened to me#but the person who couldve done it lives in another country and never came here.#what the fuck. what the fuck.#so it didnt happen to you? you cant lay claim to it at all? yet you think you understand me or that even if it did happen it's all the same#im going to lose my mind. im so. fucking. over it. but im a coward and i dont want her to die so ill grin and bear it.#and she'll tear out all my skin and ask if it's a little too much and ill say it's fine and she'll say im so gorgeous but i'm disgusting#but at least im kind. and ill say okay. because if i say anything else it's a threat on her fucking life.#tbh im only posting this now bc i know no one will likely read it. perpetual coward when it comes to this shit#because if i tell someone the full extent they'll ask why i didn't leave sooner. but i did!#i left and i got bombarded and overwhelmed and i was so tired of being scared of running into her everywhere#and i just. eased back in. and said it would be less this time. and it is so much more. it is so much worse.#ive lived in that fear before and i was so tired of it. it was a big reason i moved so far for college. and i cant just run away#so this seemed better. but it's so much worse. id rather hide every day of my life. keep an eye out everywhere and run away.#it wasnt so bad really. it was tedious and nauseating and i only ever explained it to one person. but it wasnt impossible.#this is much closer to impossible. this is soul crushing every day. and the things she does arent even as bad i dont think#it just doesnt stop. at least in high school i eventually got it to stop. i just had to be avoidant. this. wont stop.
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#so interesting how my thoughts and philosophy remain the same just shift where theyre focused#like my perfectionism is now less around work related successes like i dont care at all if im not perfect#but now i feel like i have to be perfect for my friends#which i think is killing me inside and is actually worse in some ways ldkfjlk#at least for work its like me vs work you know#but w friends it involves someone else who isnt me and i hate that cuz its ppl i care abt and i dont want to hurt#but i also get hurt and i never know when its just too much#ive tried talking abt it but i think it built up for my one friend shes like i always feel the need to defend myself w you sometimes#and its like walking on eggshells#and i was like shit well that wasnt the intention#but also i was consistently getting hurt by this one thing#anyways i think for me its like#its hard to feel like people would put in the effort for me#and these slipups like will add up in the end and just make me drift apart from ppl that i care abt#and its not smth i can control i guess at the end of the day life will play out the way it will#but i still hate it lol just the feeling that im not worth fighting for :/#like im just /there/ in peoples lives no one would notice if i stopped showing up kind of feeling#rambles#dl
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⛈️ //
#horrid day. try again tomorrow.#between overthinking every little thing i feel or do or say & anxiety beinf extremely high#to physical pain giving me hell & just not feeling well#& then just power outages ruining my plans & everything#& then this. fucking. dread i feel abt somehow causing problems on accident. or aomehow fucking things up & feeling like.#i’m walking on eggshells with MYSELF#over analyzing every single little thing i say or so to where i end up in this nasty loop of worsening anxiety#this feeling also that anything i say or do will be taken wrong bc for some reason thats been a thing today too#hell on earth. its exhausting.#i cant even at least sleep because its fucking humid as fuck too.#& my body doesnt handle that kinda weather well it feels horrid so its just…#i really dont wanna go to work tomorrow i just want a self care day or somethn atp bc no#idk im just barely handling anything well rn.#shoulda expected this mess from the moment i woke up & felt this anxiety & dread idk#maybe im just getting too caught up in my head.#i wish i could just go wandering get lost in the city or wander my neighborhood or. something. take my mind off how haywire its going over#quite literally EVERYTHING. & also ig certain memories too but we’re not touching that#just tired of this shit. & wishing i had a means of grounding myself.#tbd i suppose. idk.#ishtar rambles ;#im kinda just falling apart emotionally but is finee#emotional state falling apart faster than a nature valley granola bar AYYY
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god. why does no one care about me in this damned house
#two days of hanging out with childhood friends having the best fun I’ve had all holidays just to be ruined by my brother#my god#firstly you have a complete fucking meltdown right before we’re supposed to leave despite you having a full 6 hours to prepare while im#in a rush to get in the car 10 mins after waking up because my mum didn’t wake me up#then you make us call you because you were feeling left out despite you specifically saying you didn’t want to hang out with these people#then the next day you agree to go and immediately start insulting me for laughs and then hitting me with hard plastic when I respond#you continue to do things to the rest of us and then complain when we do the same#eventually going to mum and conveniently ignoring any part where he hit me#then you act moody the rest of the damn day watching youtube and then say all that time watching YouTube was stressing you out#then I get home after a 40 min drive of josh crying over some unexplained problem with all the “stress” on his face leaving immediately#my mum asks me why I wasn’t feeling the best and I explain all the shit that josh did to me#and then she has the nerve to stay “why have you stayed so mad about this” as if josh doesn’t constantly pull this shit#apparently she thought all the times we didn’t fight were just normal?? as if I don’t have to constantly walk on eggshells around josh#and I had to explain how I constantly had to comprise for him and how I just for once wanted to have fun with my friends#and even then we constantly invited him to play with us#and then refused to#the two hour later I decide for once in my life to be vulnerable with my dad and get on the verge of tears explaining how I’m treated by jo#and how despite doing the actual limit to what I can mentally handle to appease josh he still treats me like dogshit#and he decides to make this about him and his brother and how their relationship worked#and then told me basically that my brother will never leave my life and I have to stay with him forever#I love my mother#My father and my brother not so much#but when it’s not about josh getting a pinprick and having to cancel a 2 week holiday#it’s about mum and dad and how they are going through a rough patch and constantly have to let us know#the only time it feels like I’m paid any attention to at all is when I’m with my sisters or I get a grade back#ughhhhhhhhhhhh#vent
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#my roommate got me some candy yesterday for Valentine’s Day#so trying to be thoughtful and do something for her I grabbed some cinnamon rolls on the way out of work this morning#intending to make them so she could wake up to fresh cinnamon rolls.#unbeknownst to me‚ however‚ she was apparently sick all night throwing up and got like no sleep. so not exactly able to eat cinnamon rolls.#which is fine‚ I understand‚ it sucks but nothing can be done#what I don’t appreciate though was being yelled at for “making too much noise” and made to feel like absolute shit#for trying to do something nice. like I get that she’s tired and cranky and not feeing good but she didn’t have to yell at me for#*checks notes* walking. which is what I was doing. I walked past her bedroom door and was apparently too loud.#I know this is a dumb thing to be upset over but man sometimes I feel like I have to walk on eggshells with her and I fucking hate it
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I need reader who's shy/easily embarrassed, and Sukuna who just pops up whenever to say the most unhinged out of pocket shit on the side of Yuji's face just to see her go bright red.
read fic here
Sukuna who takes the opportunity to lick her face when Yuji tries to reach out and move some hair from her face. The gasp she let's out is choked, and Sukuna grins as Yuji is quick to pull away with a sound of disgust.
"That's not all I can do with my tongue. I'll show you one of these days, when the brat let's me out to play." It's a threat and a promise. Sukuna can't wait to take the drivers seat and devour her.
Sukuna who taunts the both of them for his own amusement, keeping her walking on eggshells whenever she's around Yuji
Who pops an eye open to watch as she bends over to pick something up, taking a moment to admire her ass before he opens his mouth. And when he finally does, "I cant see the swell of your cunt, bend some more for me." Yuji's quick to slap a hand over his cheek and ignore the sting, only for Sukuna to make his way to the back of his hand and cackle
Sukuna who isn't paying attention to what the brats are doing until he hears her moaning. Cracking an eye opened to see she's putting food in her mouth, eyes closed and a faint smile pulling at her lips.
"Do you always moan like that when you put things in your mouth? Or are you just showing off for me." She nearly chokes on the food, eyes going wide and cheeks burning red as she looks at him.
Sukuna who refuses to acknowledge the fact he enjoys her reactions for anything more than his own entertainment.
But who does start to notice the subtle change in Yuji's behavior towards her
Who makes it his new goal in life -to keep himself entertained of course, no other reason- to make the both of them so uncomfortable in each other's presence.
Because if he can't physically toy with his new (not favorite) human, he'll gladly do it from the passengers seat of his vessel and make everyone involved miserable.
@saiki-enthusiast here's the tag!! I hope you enjoy 😊 I have a fic that's like a follow up to this that I'm still working on, it's a little dark/ noncon though, if anyone was interested!
#jjk#sukuna jjk#sukuna x reader#sukuna x you#sukuna#sukuna ryomen#sukuna hcs#I did the thing ayee#sukuna smut#jjk x reader#jjk smut#yuji headcanons#jjk x you#sukuna ryoumen smut
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You’re My Baby Too
Pairing: Lando Norris x reader
Warnings: none
You'd think that the second pregnancy would be a breeze. You already know everything about how it goes, how to prepare, what to expect, but in your case, your second pregnancy was dreadful.
First trimester, horrible nausea, you spent half your time over the toilet with Lando holding your hair. Your baby boy was so much bigger than Isla it made your back hurt like crazy all the time, and the worst thing of all was that your baby boy didn't wanna come out.
You prayed you wouldn't give birth before Lando finished the season, so when the season ended you were relieved. But then your due date passed, and nothing happened. Then five days passed after your due date, nothing again. 10 days after your due date - the baby just doesn't wanna come out.
You were frustrated, exhausted, and tired of being pregnant. You just wanted to be able to see your feet again and be able to get up off the couch without Lando having to pull your hand.
"It's because you make such a good home for him he doesn't wanna come out, love." Lando tried to calm you down in a nice way, not even realizing that he irritated you with that because he's been saying that for the last 10 days and your nerves have become very thin hearing it.
"I swear, if you say that one more time.." You barked rolling your eyes at him while holding your still very pregnant belly.
"I'm sorry, I'll shut up.."
“Thank you.” You glared at him.
He didn't hold it against you for your brazen response because he understood that it had become too much for you. Lately, he's been walking on eggshells around you because everything has been annoying you, and he didn't want to be the one to contribute to that.
When the twelfth day passed since your due date, you realized that too much time had passed and you even started to worry a little that something was wrong. So Lando decided to take you to the hospital, where you very clearly told the doctor that you weren't leaving the place until you gave birth.
You thought that by some miracle, as soon as you stepped into the hospital, labor would start and you would just pop the baby out and everything would be over in less than two hours just like it was with Isla, but of course that wasn't the case with this baby.
"I think we have no other choice but to induce the labor." The doctor said.
"Okay, how long does it take?" You asked. "Is it like natural labor or?"
"Induced labor can last from a few hours to a few days, it depends. It's most often completed within 12 to 18 hours from the start of the procedure."
"Oh my God" You sighed in despair with tears in your eyes and Lando immediately squeezed your hand to offer you at least some comfort.
"Does it hurt more than a normal birth?" Lando was very concerned about how painful it would be for you. While you were giving birth to Isla, Lando was of course by your side, and even though it was much shorter and easier, he was still terribly shaken to see the pain you went through.
"I don't want to discourage you and scare you right from the start, but many women have said that induced labor is more painful."
And boy oh boy was it painful.
When they gave you the drip to induce contractions, that's when the real agony began. The drip makes contractions stronger and more frequent and you can't even begin to explain what you'd compare that pain to.
You were sweating.
Crying.
Gripping the sides of the bed and Lando's hand, which at one point you thought you were going to break.
You honestly felt like dying. What was supposed to be the most beautiful experience of your life was quickly turning into a nightmare.
Lando was heartbroken seeing you like this. He was putting cold compresses on you, hugging you, kissing you, comforting you, begging you to endure this.
"I'm so sorry baby, I wish I could go through this instead of you. I'm so sorry."
He didn't leave you for a second, except when you caught a 5-minute break from the contractions and managed to close your eyes for at least a moment and calm down. Lando said he had to go to the bathroom.
He lied actually. Instead he went to the hallway outside your room where his parents were patiently waiting. By the look on his face, Cisca and Adam could see that Lando was not well and that he himself was traumatized.
Lando didn't say anything, he just hugged Cisca and buried his face in her neck, soaking her shoulder with tears.
"I'm so fucking scared for her. It wasn't like this the first time." Lando cried quietly.
"Oh honey, y/n's going to be alright, I promise you. I know it doesn't seem like it right now, but soon this will pass and you'll be going home with your baby." Cisca comforted trying to lift his spirits. "Honey, you need to get yourself together, alright? She needs you right now and you need to be there for her."
When labor finally began after 14 long hours, you were running out of strength. You were so exhausted that you weren't sure if you would be able to push the baby out.
"Push y/n, push!" The doctor encouraged.
"I c-can't" You cried breathing rapidly. "Lando, I can't do it.."
"Come on baby, you can, I know you can. Just a little bit more and it's done, I promise. You've got this" He was pushing your hair out of your face, holding your hand, and holding your leg at the same time.
"Come on, push, push! I can see the head!"
Finally, the baby's cry was heard and soon the baby boy was on your chest. As soon as you saw him, all the pain instantly vanished.
He was so perfect. So worth it.
Lando couldn't contain his emotions as he rested his head on your shoulder, carefully observing his baby.
Later that day, when everything had calmed down, Lando was still there by your side. He couldn't be separated from you nor did he want to. His gaze shifted between you and the baby watching you both sleep peacefully.
He was tired too. He didn't really remember the last time he slept, but he knew you had it worse than him anyway, so he didn't even think of complaining.
"Lan?"
"Hey, love" His face lit up when you opened your eyes. When he saw you smile, it brought energy back to him. He took your hand and pressed a kiss to it. "Did you get some rest?"
"I did, why didn't you?" You asked him when you saw the huge dark circles under his eyes and the same clothes from the day before yesterday. "Baby, please go home, I know you're exhausted too."
"The only way I'm getting out of here is with you two."
You didn't want to argue with him because you knew it was pointless. You were just grateful that he was there and that he was yours.
"My pretty, pretty girl. I'm so proud of you." Lando said softly caressing your cheek and looking into your tired eyes. "I love you so much you know that, right?"
"I know, I can feel it. I love you too, so much." You say before kissing him. "Where are our kids?"
"This little guy is sleeping here without a care in the world."
"And Isla? She didn't come with your parents?"
"No, I told them not to bring her because I knew you'd get too emotional if you saw her, and I wanted you to rest as much as possible."
"You should've told them to bring her, I really miss her and I can't wait for her to meet her brother." You said, but you could still see the worry in Lando's eyes. "I'm fine, Lan, I promise."
"We're done with the kids. Our family is complete now."
"Lan.." You chuckled.
"No, I'm serious. I never want to see you go through so much pain again. It's been so hard to watch you like that and not be able to do anything and I'm not putting you through it again. "
"It was worth it tho. Look at him, he's so perfect. I'd do it all over again for our baby"
"I know, I know, but you're my baby too." No matter how many children you have, his protective attitude towards you will never change.
"Oh, love.." You pulled his hand to get up from the chair and come sit on the bed next to you so you can cuddle up next to him.
"I can't wait to take you home, both of you." He said quietly kissing your forehead.
You rested your head on his chest, knowing that wherever you are, as long as he's there, everything is fine.
#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#f1#lando norris#lando norris imagine#f1 one shot#lando norris smut#lando norris x reader#f1 imagine#f1 fluff#lando norris fluff#lando norris blurb#lando norris one shot#lando x reader#lando norris fanfic#f1 smut#f1 scenario#f1 x female reader#f1 x reader#f1 blurb
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men, minors dni
councilor!sevika x assistant!reader headcanons
**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ getting together ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*
i have too many thoughts about miss councilor sevika (•‿•)
◗ they get on each other's nervs at first. sevika is still too new for her position and the need to prove herself to the most of the council drives her insane, cause those fucks are hella dense. so she's constantly on the edge, trying to wiggle between mentally fighting for her people on the meetings and actually taking part in rebuilding of zaun. and sometimes (or a lot of times) sevika sees reader as just another nuisances and a person who's ready to judge her just because she's not from piltover
◗ reader on the other hand just can't comprehend sevika's nature. she was raised and worked for years in a more "higher context culture" if you can call it so, so she's shoked how straight to the point sevika is, often taking it as nothing but rudeness. reader also can't say much to sevika, since she can't make herself speak up, taught to be respecrful and obedient to her supiriors, leaving a lot of space to passive aggression
◗ they're taking all the first places in the misunderstanding and miscommunication competition
◗ sevika hates how reader is set on the formal speech with her. "stop calling me councilor" "that's who you are" "yeah but you don't have to say it in every sentence, you sound like some wind-up toy" "okay, ma'am, I'll take you wish into account".
◗ she realises that reader calling her "ma'am" is worse but not for the same reasons
◗ their relationship is very much about learning and understanding each other and those around you. mostly for reader, cause she was brought up with a mindset of zaunites being someone lesser. and even though she follows etiquette, trying to be polite and serve as a perfect assistant, cause her whole life she dreamed of working with someone who changes other people's lifes, or even being that person, she can be judgmental towards sevika, refusing to see her point of view properly
◗ eventually they get closer and more comfortable with each other, which means reader drops her nice formal persona with her passive aggressiveness, and they actually menage to solve more problems while arguing and letting the steam out than just walking around on eggshells for days
◗ that's when sevika starts fall for reader. it's like reader's mask slipped and she can finally see a real person and not a workaholic machine. she loves how both sassy and caring reader can be. their fights now end in laughter and omg they also can say sorry to each other
◗ sevika insists on brining reader to any important event, where plus one is required. because reader helps her monitor her actions and gives helpful insides of other participants of course, not because she just wants to spend time with her, definitely not
◗ and reader is oblivious™. she's so happy, she finally doesn't hate her work and her and sevika can even be called friends, she doesn't notice any move sevika makes, simply thinking it's nothing but platonic gestures
◗ eventually she snaps. "are you straight?" "what?" "i asked around, and people said you're into women. did they lie?" "n-no" "then what?" "what what?" "if it's just me you don't like you could've said so"
◗ reader is of course shocked. she has to take couple of days off, embarrassed with how blind she was and to think the situation through
◗ next time they meet reader refuses sevika, saying it's not right to have a romantic involvement with any colleague, especially not with your boss. sevika understands and agrees
◗ well actually she doesn't. a compliment here, a touch there. sevika does nothing too provocative so reader can't say she's acting improper. but she's just playing a long game
◗ and yes, it works. months of teasing ruins poor reader's morals. flustered and very much horny she tugs sevika into a kiss on just a normal tuesday in councilor's office
◗ they may or may not have sex right there they definitely do
—————————————————————————
kay, a bit messy. definitely gonna do part two or a full drubble with them later
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LUCIFER MAGNE - H.H.
CHAPTER II - Prompt: Lucifer continuing to wear his wedding ring despite being in a relationship with you.
Previous chapter: [x] Word Count: 3.4k+ words (unedited). Genre/other tags: Angst with some fluff. Jealousy. Fem pronouns used. Warnings: Swearing. Self-deprecation. Manipulation (on Alastor's part).
It had been nearly over a week since you and Lucifer last talked – it had also been a week since Lucifer was last seen around in the hotel. Angel, being the gossiper he was, relayed everything that had transpired between you two to the others the following day. Seeing the sensitive and sad shell of a person you were left in, everyone remained cautious and had started walking on eggshells around you. Of course, you were quick to pick up on that, as embarrassing as it all was (minus Alastor, who continued on with his usual theatrics and mischief).
Charlie in particular was the most concerned out of them all, since this was her dad we were talking about. She knew with certainty that he was confining himself in the castle to distract himself from what happened – likely something involving his rubber-ducky obsession – instead of facing the problem head on. It was his pride that sometimes got in the way of his better judgement.
Not only that, but Charlie clearly saw the massive toll it took on you. If you weren’t distracting yourself with work or doing something related to the hotel, you would lock yourself away in your room, only coming out to quickly grab a bite to eat from the kitchen. Charlie even made efforts to strike many conversations with you from time to time, but was either excused or was only given one-worded responses. She knew not to take your dismissive behaviour to heart, but she couldn’t help but fret over you.
So it came as an absolute surprise when out of nowhere, Charlie received a call from her father. She messily scrambled for her phone on her desk, fumbling and nearly dropping it in the process before violently tapping on the small screen. “H-Hello?! Dad, hey!” She answers a bit too enthusiastically while nervously combing her hair with a free hand. “Uh, hey Charlie!” Lucifer stiffly greets from the other line, “I just…um, thought I’d give a call to, uh, see how everyone’s going at the hotel!” The Princess noted how much hoarser his voice was than usual, but decided not to comment on it aloud.
“Well, y’know how it is! It’s been busy and lively as always–everyone’s been working really hard and all,” she answers vaguely, nervously chuckling. “Err, yeah! Right. That’s a–that’s a relief to hear. Yep,” he hums. There was a brief, awkward pause that ensued soon after, the both of them not knowing what to say next. The whole exchange was becoming increasingly painful that Charlie resisted the urge to pull her hair. She then clears her throat. “H-How about you, dad? What’ve you been up to? You’ve been gone for a couple or so days,” Charlie finally musters, “are…are you doing alright?”
“Me? Oh yeah, psh! I just got, erm…a lot of things going on at the moment. It’s not so easy being the big boss of hell after all! Got a lot of important things to do! Plus, I’ve got heaps of paperwork to do for the hotel. You should know how tedious that is,” He says, adding an exaggerated groan.
The princess furrows her brows. “Oh, that’s…strange. ’Cause I could’ve sworn you left all the papers here…y’know, the ones you told me to revise over?” Charlie replies, side-eyeing the said documents stacked neatly on her desk. A startled yelp escapes his throat. “O-Oh...did I?” He stammers.
Charlie couldn’t help but wince at the evident panic that began to set in as she listened to her father make incomprehensible noises from the other line. It was a poor attempt in reasoning, which ultimately became useless in the end. Lucifer let out a long sigh, caught red-handed. “Oh, who the hell am I kidding? You guys probably already know what happened–which by the way, Charlie, you shouldn’t be lying to me about!” He pointedly remarks.
“I-I’m sorry, dad! It’s just…I’m really worried about you,” she reasons, before shortly adding, “...The both of you.”
There was a small pause. “...How is she, by the way?” He then asks quietly. Charlie nervously tugs her bottom lip with her fangs. “Well, she’s keeping herself busy. Constantly, as a matter of fact. And I know she’s trying hard to convince us all that she’s holding up okay, but…she doesn’t look too good, dad. She seems really upset.”
A shaky exhale sounded from his end. “I…I really am hopeless, aren’t I?” He mumbles defeatedly. Even though she couldn’t see him, she could picture him burying his face in his hands. The image caused Charlie’s eyes to soften. “Dad, no. It’s not too late. You still have a chance to make things right,” Charlie gently encourages through the speaker, “you just need to talk to each other–”
Suddenly, from the corner of her eye, a bright, blazing portal manifests from thin air – from it, emerges Lucifer himself who appeared extremely dishevelled, effectively catching Charlie off guard.
“But, hun, y-you don’t understand! I messed up big time!” He exclaims, tugging on his unkempt hair as he aimlessly paced around her office. “I-I mean, look at me! I’m a fucking mess and a coward! Why would she ever think to take me back after what I did!?” He chuckles humourlessly, shaking his head in disbelief, “I-It’s like no matter how many times I try to redeem and convince myself that everything’s finally going right in my life, I just continue to fuck myself over and over again. And it’s just– ugh! It’s pathetic! I’m fucking pathetic!”
Charlie’s chest tightened considerably as she watched her father self-destruct before her. Strands of his golden hair were sticking out here and there, his dress-shirt tousled, and his eyes were glossed over and red, from both a lack of sleep and crying. He looked utterly devastated. Chucking her phone away, she immediately sped towards and enveloped Lucifer in her arms, who immediately broke down into heavy sobs. Seeing him like this brought tears to her own eyes, but she firmly told herself to be the stronger person in this situation, for his sake.
“Hey, hey. Dad, listen to me, okay? Everyone deserves a second chance. You of all people should know–you were the one who taught me that, remember?” Charlie rubbed his back soothingly, trying to ease the jumpiness of his shoulders. “And that also applies to you. I…I know you’ve been through a lot, especially with mum…” She couldn’t help the way her frown deepened as she spoke, “...and I miss her too. I miss her a lot. But…I think it’s finally time for you to move on. It’s been years, dad. You deserve to be happy and you’re allowed to be in love again.”
“[Name]’s an amazing person, and there’s no doubt about that. She’s proved that more than many times already. I’m certain that once things ease over and you guys finally talk things through, everything will turn out okay; she’s very understanding and kind like that. You’ll both be okay.” Charlie gently pulls Lucifer away and with the sleeve of her blazer, she wipes his damp, reddened cheeks. “I know for a fact that she loves and cares about you deeply – we can all see it as clear as day. You…you love her too, don’t you, dad?”
For a brief moment’s contemplation, Lucifer suddenly recalled the times you spent together, from your initial meeting to now. He had always thought you were a strong and independent soul, with the way you carried yourself. You just had something about you that naturally drew in those around you, including himself. When Lucifer got to know you in a deeper level, he was enthralled by how kind and understanding you were – you were always there to listen to his many tales and endless nonsense; you would always seem genuinely interested in his rubber-duck-esque inventions, offering some input and critiquing his creations; and you would always be so, so supportive of all his plans and ideas, no matter how extraordinary they all seemed.
If he hadn't known any better, Lucifer would've thought you were an actual angel. You were the saviour that wore off the darkness in troubling times, and the one who pulled him out of the void that Lilith had left him in. That and more, as you continuously gave him a real reason to remain hopeful. You were proof personified, that he was able to open his heart once more, and to love again.
“I-I do, I really do,” Lucifer affirms in a heartbeat. Charlie smiles warmly, relieved by his answer, “then that’s all you need to say.” At that moment, Lucifer's chest swelled in overwhelming pride for his daughter, knowing that despite not being as present in her life until recently, she grew up to be the good and strong-willed person he had hoped for.
“O-Oh, jeez. Since when did you grow up so big? I should be the one comforting you,” He tearfully jokes, sniffling whilst returning her smile, “but thank you, Charlie. Really. I’m…I-I really am grateful to call you my daughter.” The two royalties then shared a heart-felt moment and a bone-crushing hug, with the King's heart being filled with a new-found determination. Because, just as he always says: The show must go on.
Earlier on:
On the other side of the building, you were drowning yourself in your own self-despair as you overlooked the balcony by the front entrance of the hotel. Your eyes lazily scanned the new hotel patrons below, who were engaging in some trust exercises led by Vaggie, who came in to cover you just moments ago. Every once in a while, you couldn’t help but glance at your phone, silently hoping to receive some sort of notification from Lucifer, or even an inkling of his whereabouts. But you received nothing, which only fuelled your growing anxiety.
You felt awful leaving the way you did that night, especially after dumping so much onto Lucifer. You felt like you were being completely selfish, and had cornered him into making a big decision. And because of that, your relationship was on the line. You let out a frustrated sigh, rubbing angrily at your face.
Little did you know however, that you had some company lurking nearby, watching you in silent amusement.
“Now, don’t you look as miserable as ever?” Alastor mockingly chimes in, stepping out from the shadows to make his presence known and joins you by the balcony. You roll your eyes at the deer-demon before turning your head the other direction. “Yeah, and what about it?” You scoff, leaning in to rest your arms against the rails, “Can’t you go bother someone else, Alastor? I’m certainly not in the mood right now.”
“Why, I wouldn’t be a good hotelier if I left a dear co-worker of mine so down in the slumps!” To your dismay, Alastor reappears in front of you, obstructing your field of view, "And might I add, it's not healthy for you to be all cooped up in your room all the time – stay there any longer, and it can do silly, little things to your head!" He emphasises his point as he spins a finger in a circular motion by his temple. You shot him an irritated look, slowly growing fed up by his prodding.
"Listen, I don't need you telling me what I should and shouldn't do. I’m more than capable of deciding that on my own,” you growl, straightening up to cross your arms firmly against your chest. “Hm...no, I don’t think so!” Alastor hums, shaking his head disapprovingly, “The unfortunate affair that took place in your courtship with the King has left you in such a vulnerable, and problematic state. And I’m sure you’ve taken note of how everyone’s been acting around you – constantly walking on their tiptoes in fear of setting you off on a hissy-fit. You’ve caused them to worry a lot about you, dear. Poor ol’ Charlie, especially.”
You open your mouth to retort back, but nothing came out. A strong pang of guilt struck you as his words began to sink in. Seeing this, Alastor’s grin widened a faction as he stepped forward and levelled himself with you, now facing you eye-to-eye. “And as the executive producer of this fine establishment, might I critique that your behaviour is affecting our team’s morale and performance…and we mustn’t have that now, should we? Especially not since we’ve all been more preoccupied recently with our guests!” He…had a fair point, as much as you didn’t want to admit it.
“I…I’m sorry. I didn’t…know…” Your voice began to trail off, shoulders slumping in realisation of how selfish and contemptuous you’ve been acting this whole week. You recalled the fretful expressions of your friends and your dismissive attitude towards them. “I-I didn’t mean to make everyone worry…” you quietly say. Alastor’s words only made you feel immensely worse about the whole situation, leaving you sniffling on the spot.
“Now, now. As long as you realise your mistakes, then you shall be forgiven,” he coos, softly patting the tuft of your head. At that, you couldn’t help but send a doubtful glance his way. ��W-wait a minute…why do you care all of a sudden? What exactly are you playing at?” You suspiciously question as you rub at your eyes.
“Oh, how you wound me, dear! Why must you always question any act of kindness I display? Is it really that hard to believe?” He adverts, evidently feigning hurt. You deadpan. “Yes, it is,” you reply almost instantly. Alastor chortles at your bluntness, “Haha! You’re quite a work of art, aren't you, dear? Now, let’s go out for a walk, shall we?”
Before you could’ve processed what he had said, Alastor had already spun you around, pulling you with him as you both headed down a flight of stairs. “Wha–Alastor, where are we–where the heck are you taking me?” You asked, trying to keep up with his long strides so as to not trip down the stairs. “Hm? Did I not already specify? It looks like your brooding has impacted your hearing, dear. That’s a shame,” he slyly comments, now dragging you towards the entrance, “We’re both going for a walk around town, it’ll help clear that cloudy head of yours!”
“Hold on-Stop! Just what makes you think I’d agree to go out with you?” You shoot back, retracting your arm from his hold and stopping metres behind him. Alastor sharply turns around and pulls out a wrinkled, yellow piece of paper out of thin air. Your eyes dart towards the sheet, seeing a familiar hand-writing across the page.
“Why, I just knew you were going to question me – you're so predictable. But might I add, we’re not going out without purpose! No, no! Our lovely Charlie has composed a list and requested we fetch a couple items in town!” Stepping forward, you swiftly snatched the paper from his clawed hand and briefly scanned the list, noting that it largely consisted of decorations and party items. “She wanted to organise a heart-warming celebration for the wayward souls here who have accomplished some milestones on their journey to redemption! An anniversary ceremony of sorts, if you will,” Alastor explains, lightly patting the non-existing dust off of his suit.
“But couldn’t you just…I don’t know, teleport the things here?” You blatantly ask, raising a brow at him. You knew he was more than capable of doing such minuscule tasks within a span of seconds. “And waste such a beautiful day outside? Now, why would I even consider doing that?” Alastor states matter-of-factly, “And like I said, the short trip will help clear your troubled mind! Consider it a gesture of compassion from yours truly.”
There was clearly something off about all this but you couldn’t see any reason for an ulterior motive. It was just…simply a manager looking out for the well-being of his work-colleagues, as uncharacteristic and off-putting as it sounded out loud. Already exhausted, you couldn’t bring it in yourself to question his actions any further.
“You’re really not going to take ‘no’ for an answer, are you?” You ask. Seeing the way Alastor’s grin widened had you sighing in defeat. “Shall we then?” Alastor questions, offering an arm out to you. Rolling your eyes, you loop one of your arms through and follow him out the hotel. ‘A small walk wouldn’t hurt…’ you think to yourself as the doors shut behind you.
Currently:
Lucifer tiredly dragged himself to his designated room in the hotel, to rest for a while and take a much needed bath as per Charlie’s advice. He gave himself a lengthy pep-talk in front of the mirror as he brushed his teeth, deciding to approach you tonight to finally talk and clear things out. Yes, he was absolutely terrified about the possibility of things going south during the confrontation, but he didn’t think he could handle another second being without you. And he needed to make that loud and clear.
After putting on an outfit and neatly slicking his hair back, Lucifer looked at his reflection once more in the bedside mirror, inspecting himself up and down to flatten any remaining creases of his clothing. But it wasn't until his gaze landed on his left hand that he tensed up. Peering down, he brought his hand into view to inspect the very wedding band that caused it all. With a shaky sigh, Lucifer slowly pulled the ring off of his finger. He took a moment to examine it, eyes filled with sentiment before kneeling down to open his bedside drawer, where its designated ring-box sat. The moment he encased the ring in its box and locked it away in his drawer, it felt like a breath of fresh air. To his own surprise, Lucifer found himself tearfully laughing – he felt...genuinely happy. Proud, even. It was at this very moment that he felt like he was finally ready to move forward.
After patting the stray tears away from his face, Lucifer slowly made his way down to the front lobby. There, Charlie and Vaggie were talking amongst themselves by the lounge area, whilst Angel and Cherri chuckled away by the bar, with Husk tending to their beverages. The King didn’t give an inkling of care as to where Alastor had gone, and he was certain that Nifty was hiding somewhere in the small crevices of the hotel, cleaning away. All in all, there was no sight of you whatsoever, visibly disappointing him.
Seeing his approaching form, Charlie waved his father over towards them. “Hey, dad. Are you feeling a bit better now?” She asks with a comforting smile. “Yeah, totally. Thanks, dear,” he says, patting her shoulder affectionately before turning his attention towards her partner. “Hey! How’s it going, Maggie? I’ve heard you’ve been working real hard lately, huh? Good on yah!” He commends, playfully nudging the said demon. “Oh, um…it’s–it’s Vaggie, sir. And uh, thanks,” she nervously chuckles, rubbing her arm. “Mhm, yeah…that’s–that’s great,” Lucifer distractedly hums, all the while scanning around the room. Noticing this, Vaggie shared a worried look with Charlie.
“Erm, dad, she’s not here at the moment if that’s what you’re wondering,” Charlie starts, alerting her father. “Oh? Well, is she up in one of the guest rooms?” Lucifer asked, gesturing upstairs with a thumb. To his confusion, Charlie appeared somewhat nervous, her hands fidgeting with her suit. “Uh, no, she’s actually not in the hotel at the moment,” Vaggie steps in, “she’s been out doing a couple of errands for us.” Lucifer raised a brow at the slight edginess in her tone, eyes darting back and forth between the two girls. “...Um, alright. What the heck is going on right now?" He asks, pointing an accusatory finger at them both, "You guys are acting sketchy as fuck. Are you...are you guys hiding something from me?" He narrows his eyes. Charlie sucks in a breath, brows pinching together, “Well...dad, t-the thing is–”
“She’s out with Smiles right now!” Angel suddenly intervened, calling out from the other side of the room, and causing Charlie to cower and duck behind Vaggie. Lucifer felt his shoulders grow rigid. “She’s…what now?” He dangerously asks, glaring at the arachnid. Before Lucifer trudged towards the direction of the bar, the front doors of the hotel abruptly flew open. He felt the vein in his neck nearly burst at the sound of your laughter interlacing itself with that god-awful, irritating radio feedback. What a wild coincidence.
As Lucifer turned around, his eyes nearly flew out of his head as he saw how close you were with Alastor, arms basically locked together. The radio-demon was quick to meet eyes with the King, and out of spite, Alastor flashed him the biggest shit-eating grin he's ever seen.
“Oh, fuck no!”
Chapter III - Finale [x]
Thank you for reading!
#lucifer magne x reader#lucifer morningstar x reader#hazbin hotel x reader#lucifer magne#lucifer morningstar
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