#when she never initiates anything and just waits for us to ask her out
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lemonhemlock · 8 months ago
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it's so frustrating dealing with a friend that seems set on finding imaginary slights against their person and seethes in silence waiting for you to figure out what you did 'wrong' this time đŸ€Šâ€â™€ïž
#this is the fifth time since october i've invited her somewhere to catch up and she said no#always with some excuse#which. sure. i can't verify#maybe the 8th time in the last year she refused for some reason or another#but there's only so many times you can give someone the benefit of the doubt#when she never initiates anything and just waits for us to ask her out#and if you don't happen to do that within the secret interval of time she is available and which she never discloses#she registers it as a slight#i'm so tired of these stupid mind games how old are you/??#also she is SO hard to get hold of. never answers anything on any messaging app for days on end including the weekends#even if the proposal is time sensitive#girl you are NOT that busy bffr#i remember we invited her to see barbieheimer and she did not freaking answer on time. as usual.#and we had to get tickets without her bc the time slots quickly sold out#and ofc she was pissed at us bc she's can't be bothered to reply đŸ€Šâ€â™€ïž#she always is pissed even when it's clearly her fault#when she clearly sees the message bc she DOES check the apps whaddyaknow#and the one time we did manage to see each other she had the gall to propose that we go out more often!!!#and then never initiates anything and refuses everything#ik if i were to recount this to a third person they would tell me she already checked out of this friendship#it's so stupid#having to walk on these eggshells#bc we didn't even have a falling out she's just finding pretexts to become offended#that was been her modus operandi since the freaking pandemic#good lord the stories i have#lemonposting#anyway i'm bummed out now
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bondagebimbo · 27 days ago
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LOVE when the pharmacy decides to fucking dick around with my meds so badly that now I’m off my mood stabilizer, my pain meds, and my fucking birth control (in a few days) because they’re insisting I should have extra fucking bottles of each one and I DONT because they don’t let me pick up more than a one month supply of narcotics at a fucking time so do explain where these extra bottles are, hmm ????? and they didn’t have enough caplyta ordered last time to even give me my usual 3 months supply of that so 
 ???? get your fucking heads out of your asses and give me the fucking meds you owe me ??? like ??? but I’m in a nasty headspace right now so if I call the pharmacy this morning, I’m going to be that cunt ass customer they bitch about all day because this isn’t the first time they’ve done this. in fact, the first time, they straight up committed insurance fraud by marking one of my scripts as filled and picked up WHEN, IN REALITY, THEY FUCKING LOST THE SCRIPT AND HAD NO RECORD OF IT BEING FILLED OR PICKED UP IN THEIR SYSTEM, BUT YET, MARKED IT AS SUCH AND CHARGED MY INSURANCE AN ALMOST 8 GRAND FOR THE FUCKING 3 MONTHS OF MY MOOD STABILIZER THAT I. NEVER. RECEIVED. I’m genuinely about to report this entire pharmacy to the pharmacy board because I’m so fucking done with this place. it needs to be shut the fuck down because you’re telling me, out of an entire pharmacy, y’all share the same IQ point AND dead brain cell, collectively ??? then don’t fucking work in healthcare where people rely on you to know your shit and keep track of their fucking meds because you’re just constantly making shit worse on people since you can’t seem to not fuck around with these meds and not ‘lose’ scripts. fuck out of here.
and I’m pretty much out of weed, which is usually my back up pain management method, without the money to afford a delivery order by their cut off time to order in 3 hours because I just paid my fucking bills and have SOME to go towards it, but not enough for delivery to be free, and I’d still have to walk my ass to one of the ATM’s nearby because they don’t accept my bank as a prepaid method OR any of the cards I have on my person. đŸ« 
I can literally feel my back spasming and seizing on and off while I’m laying on my fucking side, I’ve had a migraine with a stupid ass aura for almost a week now because chronic migraines fucking suck and i was REALLY hoping this one would be over by now, my muscle inflammations that my pain meds are supposed to limit are already beginning to start their itching deep in my muscles so soon they’ll blossom into a whole fibromyalgia fucking episode and become entirely inflamed, my joints in my hands fucking hurt because of the dreary weather so I really need to get into a rheumatologist at some point soon as well and get that shit figured out, I’m nauseas as fuck from all the pain, and I’m moody, hormonal, and just feel like fucking death physically.
I’m just. I give up.
this shit is exhausting and painful and so mentally fucking taxing to constantly deal with and I just want a fucking break from all this fucking shit. I wish I could just 
 not exist 
 for even just a little while with how fucking painful existing actually feels right now đŸ« đŸ˜­
#i hate that CT weed is so fucking expensive#half a fucking ounce shouldn’t cost me $250 

.. not when I can go to MA and get an ounce for $108 after tax 

..#but I don’t have a way to MA because my fucking best friend. who made plans with me OVER THE WEEKEND. HER. SHE INITIATED THEM.#canceled on me last second even though I texted her early the night before when I know she would see it đŸ« #nope instead she waited from the text I sent at 6:30pm until noon the next day to cancel because her period is kicking her ass#NOT FOR FUCKING NOTHING BUT SO THE HELL IS MINE ???? AND IM ANEMIC ??? AND DEALING WITH ALL THIS EXTRA PAIN ON TOP OF IT ????#and I know I’m being irrational and insensitive because pain tolerance is a sliding scale for everyone#but like fucking come on you do this 3 out of 4 times YOU make the plans to hang out and I’m fucking over it.#plus I’m the one that always pays for everything and does she ever even OFFER to hit me back for the COUNTLESS ounces of weed I’ve got her#all because she couldn’t afford it so I said I’d cover it and she never paid me back. I’ve bought her at least a grand’s worth of weed#just over the last couple months and she’s never ONCE offered to pay me back for a single one#like 


 I don’t expect it. I give if I have it. but you can’t even just offer ??? like the invitation to pay me back would be enough to no#leave m ragingly pissed off and feeling used as an atm again for yet another ‘friend’ because they don’t even OFFER to be considerate#of course I’d say not to worry about it but it doesn’t even cross your fucking head to ask if I want anything towards it#like the next time you get paid ??? when you go and spend your own money on weed that day but can’t reimburse me for anything IVE paid for#oh and I always have to give her gas money if I even simply just want to hang out because she’s always fucking broke somehow#and she works in healthcare like bitch I know what you make and you can’t play that you don’t have enough to get by or throw me 50 bucks#towards YOUR weed that I’m buying every once in a fucking while when I’m already paying for everything fucking else#I’m so angry and I know I’m being irrational and bitchy but this is what happens when you’re tripped off your meds cold turkey#and one of them is a mood stabilizer that makes it so you DONT feel this way about people and aren’t so bitter when you’re let down đŸ« đŸ« đŸ« #because now my rejection sensitive dysphoria is going to be triggered even easier than usual and I’m just.#I actually fucking give up. I don’t even know what to do here. the pain going through my body is so fucking intense#I keep losing my train of thought because everything hurts and then every once in a while a DIFFERENT pain acts up and throws itself in too#I just. I just can’t fucking win.#I hate fucking struggling with my mental state like this when I’m off my meds.#and because I have to be a month without my stabilizer/pain management/birth control it’s going to take me ANOTHER month to get readjusted#to those in my body so I won’t feel normal again until nearly fucking mid to end January the earliest#and that’s fucking bullshit. I’m going to fucking **** myself by the time I get back on these fucking meds since it’ll take that long#fucking hell I just. I give up. I give in. I’m self isolating and cutting myself off from everyone because it’ll be in THEIR best interest#for me to do so when I can’t control my mind like this. I’m so tired of feeling so fucking shitty and I’ve only been off them for two days
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pathologicalreid · 1 month ago
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lock and key | s.r.
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in which an act of violence - and subsequent serious injury - brings the truth to the surface and initiates a change
margotober masterlist
who? spencer reid x fem!reader category: angst content warnings: abduction, car accident, knife, stabbing, stabbing with knife, greek mythology, jareau!reader, rewrite of 8x12 "zugzwang" (just because maeve isn't here doesn't mean i'm letting spencer get by trauma-free), the girls who get it, get it, secret relationship, hospitals, not proofread, yes the zugzwang thing gets dropped but that's because it was never the kidnapper it was always the replicator, did i miss something probably but i can't see straight rn word count: 4.86k a/n: i rewrote this entire fic because i decided i didn't like it two hours before it was supposed to go up. and now here we are. almost 5k words later. it's 2:30 a.m. going back to my jareau!reader roots and rewriting an entire episode.
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He frowned at the text that you’d just sent him. Just one word, a chess term. Spencer wasn’t entirely sure you knew what it meant, more so, he wasn’t sure why you’d text it to him at seven-thirty in the morning.
He’d expected you to beat him to the office this morning, knowing you left his apartment before the sun had the chance to rise so you could get a fresh change of clothes and repack your go bag. Your apartment was closer to Quantico, so it wasn’t presumptuous of him to assume you would make it there first.
Spencer stood corrected when he walked in, finding your desk completely devoid of your active presence. He looked around for you briefly, knowing you sometimes liked to catch up on sleep in JJ’s old liaison office when you were the first to arrive in the morning, but all he found was your sister, a scowl on her face while she spoke with Hotch in his office.
The two of them noticed him lurking, Hotch opening the door and nodding at him in greeting, “Let’s meet in the roundtable room, Garcia’s waiting for us.”
“What’s going on?” Spencer asked, following them around the walkway to the briefing room, only receiving a shake of the head from JJ in response.
Penelope looked disturbed in a way that Spencer hadn’t seen her in years. That much made sense to him, the only reason Hotch would start a briefing before the rest of the team got here was if there was a case that matched the level of urgency. “This morning the FBI system was tripped because Y/N’s location was glitching. It flashed from Los Angeles to Moscow to Cancun until finally settling on an unmarked location somewhere in this general area.”
Spencer frowned, looking at the map that was being displayed on the screen in front of him, “That’s nearly eight hundred miles of ground to cover.”
Sighing, Garcia nodded, “Because of whatever the UnSub did to hack into the locator in her phone, we can’t get an accurate location. I’m working on refining it, but that could take hours.”
A pit settled in Spencer’s chest as he looked over at JJ, a dark, hollow look on her face as she stared at her phone. He couldn’t commiserate with her—nobody knew the two of you were even dating. “JJ,” Hotch spoke up, “You were the last person to see her before you left yesterday, did she say anything about going to meet someone or do anything?”
JJ blinked in confusion, “No, she didn’t tell me about any plans or
” Her voice trailed off, “I think she was seeing someone knew. She’s been acting different, being cagey about plans.”
Blake and Rossi walked into the bullpen, their arrival catching Hotch’s attention as he stepped out of the roundtable room to speak with them. Spencer followed, “Hotch.”
“I know, Reid,” he said, holding his hand up in a waiting gesture. Of course, he did, because in your tirade to hide your relationship from the general public, you had insisted on telling Hotch, wanting to get the HR paperwork out of the way.
Spencer sighed, the pit in his chest growing exponentially as he turned back into the roundtable room, slipping his phone out of his pocket and handing it to Garcia, “I got a text this morning from Y/N,” he explained, his eyes following his teammates as they filtered into the room. “It came in after her phone’s location was hacked.”
Shaking her head, JJ looked over at Spencer, “Why would she text you first thing in the morning?”
He shrugged in response, “I’m not entirely sure,” he half-lied. “I do know what the word used in the message means. Zugzwang. It’s the term used in chess when a player realizes they’ll inevitably be checkmated.”
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“When did the two of them break up?” Hotch asked, looking over at JJ for the answer to his question.
They were headed to speak with your ex-boyfriend, there was nothing they had found that would implicate him in your disappearance, but it was the best chance they had at a lead. Spencer bit his tongue to stop himself from revealing the answer.
JJ hummed, “A while ago, a year maybe? She didn’t really talk about it, one day, she just stopped bringing him up.”
Sixteen months, nearly to the date, it was a few days past at that point since the night you’d called Spencer in tears, needing him to pick you up from the same house that the SUV was pulling up to now. The two of you had been together for nearly a year, on and off again, before he finally snapped.
Some of the things he said to you were things that you’d never repeated, even to Spencer. Pulling into the driveway made him feel sick to his stomach as he recalled the way you cried in his apartment that night.
“Reid?” JJ’s voice broke through his reminiscence, she had already gotten out of the car, standing outside and waiting for Spencer to step out before the three of them approached the porch.
He reached into his pocket for his credentials, staying at the back of the pack while Hotch knocked on the door before pulling his badge out. Your ex-boyfriend opened the door, “Hello?” He was confused, rightfully so—it wasn’t every day that a group of FBI agents showed up at your front door. He eyed Hotch and JJ before he met Spencer’s eyes. Garrett’s eyes narrowed, “You.”
Hotch’s head snapped to the side, glaring at Spencer for a moment before facing forward, “Garrett Graves?” The Unit Chief’s voice was commanding, staring at your ex with a preconceived notion that your relationship had fallen apart because of him. He was the leader of the team, and he took any attack against the members of his team personally.
“Yes?” He said, obviously bewildered at the sight of the agents on his porch, “Where’s Y/N?”
Crossing her arms in front of her chest, JJ looked up at Garrett, “That’s what we’d like to ask you.”
Spencer had to give him credit, Garrett looked absolutely stunned at your sister’s revelation, but nothing that Spencer knew about him led him to believe he’d act innocent if he was truly guilty. He had the personality type that would confess to the abduction but lead the BAU on a wild goose chase from an interrogation room.
No, the person who had you didn’t want to be caught, and he didn’t want the team to find you. This interview would be a waste of his time, there was absolutely no information about you that Garrett could provide. Spencer knew every important, esoteric detail about you—your ex-boyfriend wouldn’t have anything useful for him.
Garrett peered back at Spencer, “I’m sure anything you want to know, he can tell you,” he said, bitterness altering his tone.
Hotch looked over his shoulder to Spencer, “Why don’t you sit this one out?”
Ignoring the fact that he had just been told to kick rocks, Spencer retreated to the SUV, shoving his hands in his pockets and leaning against the passenger door while JJ and Hotch were invited inside the house. He hoped you weren’t somewhere outside, the temperatures dropped to below freezing at night this time of year, and he didn’t remember you wearing a jacket when you left his apartment this morning.
Finally alone—away from your sister, at least—Spencer had a moment to process the reality of his situation. You were missing, likely abducted as a result of your job, and he didn’t even have an exact time to go off. His chest felt tight in a way it hadn’t in years, the sheer joy of knowing he had you in his life felt like it was fading away because he didn’t have you. He had no idea where you were, and for a brief moment, he considered the fact that the loss of you might kill him too.
You were the only one who knew how to bring him back down to earth anymore. Snapping him back to reality whenever he started to spiral.
This time, the sound of his phone ringing pulled him out of his Charybdis of fear, “Hello,” he answered the phone, holding the device to his ear as he pretended the last five minutes of thought had never happened.
“Hey, kid,” Derek greeted over the phone, an unavoidable solemn note in his voice. “Garcia managed to track down Y/N’s car, it’s down on a side street, it looks like she was avoiding the highway.”
Spencer looked down at his shoes, “The exit that she needs to take to get to her apartment closes for construction at night.” The explanation flew from his mouth before he could remember that he wasn’t supposed to know that, but his brain was moving at an altered pace right now, unable to think past anything other than finding you.
The other line was silent for a moment, “Right,” Derek said doubtfully. “It looks like someone rear-ended her,” he noted, the sound of cars rushing by cluing Spencer into the traffic.
“That time of night on that road it would’ve needed to be on purpose, there’s no reason to be following someone that closely on an empty street,” Spencer processed the information, pulling up a map in his head of the area where your car was. “So, it was a bump and grab,” Spencer thought aloud, it wasn’t a particularly sophisticated crime, but with all of the other evidence, he hadn’t expected it to be.
Morgan reaffirmed his suspicions, “I’m surprised she wasn’t more on edge that early in the morning. What do you think she was doing all the way out here anyway?”
His stomach churned; you had been leaving his apartment. It was his fault you had been out there at that time. “It was early, her inhibitions were down, she was probably tired,” he rambled off. “Besides, you heard JJ, she thinks she has a boyfriend,” he bit out.
“Uh huh,” Derek responded, “And what do you think about that?”
Leaning his head back, Spencer stared at the sky, “Did you find her phone? Was it in the car?”
There was no way Derek didn’t get why Spencer ignored his question, but he moved on anyway, “Yeah, that’s the other thing. There’s no sign of that text message.”
Another mystery to add to the plethora, Spencer closed his eyes and sighed, “Thanks for letting me know.”
“Kid,” Derek said, stopping Spencer from hanging up, “Why did the text go to you and not JJ? Wouldn’t that make more sense?”
Spencer paused, staring at the backs of his eyelids, “I’m not sure.” His answer, at least, was mostly truthful. It would make sense for the message to have gone to JJ, but JJ wouldn’t have understood the meaning.
That meant the person who sent the message likely knew about you and Spencer’s relationship, and that did very little to comfort him.
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Helpless was not a term that Spencer liked to use to describe himself, but as the orange glow of the sunset sept into the BAU, he was beginning to feel that way. You were still missing, and with every passing moment, Spencer knew that the statistics grew increasingly bleak.
Stepping away from his computer monitor, Spencer made his way to the bathroom, he didn’t need to use it, but the silent hum of the fan was better than the constant chattering in the bullpen. Everyone imaginable had been pulled in on this case, everyone wanting to pitch in to find a missing FBI agent, but not for the first time, Spencer wished everyone would just shut up.
Turning on the tap, he cupped his hands under the water and splashed his face, focusing the cold water on his eyes, hoping they could hone his focus. He tore a paper towel from the dispenser and pressed it into his face as the door swung open, the familiar tapping of boots sounded from behind him until they stopped.
“You know, from my count, it’s been about eight months,” Rossi said, meeting Spencer’s eyes in the mirror, his hands in his pockets as he raised his eyebrows, waiting for a response.
Sighing, Spencer turned off the water, “Nine,” he corrected, foregoing his usual habit of providing more precise time frame. He wasn’t surprised that Rossi had it figured out, he always did, but still, he asked, “How did you figure it out?”
Rossi shrugged, watching as Spencer moved to throw away the paper towel, “I am very good at my job.”
Spencer laughed, a mixture between a laugh and a scoff as he looked in the mirror just to find that he still looked like a disaster. “I don’t know what I’m gonna do,” he confessed, the first time he had let his desolation truly show to any member of the team.
“You’re gonna go back out there, and we are gonna do what we do best,” Rossi insisted, “We help the people who need us.”
Nodding, Spencer took a deep breath before heading back out to the bullpen, following Penelope through the glass doors as the technical analyst made her way over to JJ. It shouldn’t bother him that everyone went to JJ first, but it did, even though no one knew any better. “Does the last name Delphino mean anything to you?”
JJ frowned in response, “No, why—should it?”
His lips parted, not worrying about holding himself back, “Paul Delphino is the name of Y/N’s next-door neighbor.”
Garcia made a dinging noise, quickly moving on to continue her explanation, “Paul Delphino did not show up for work this morning. Why is this significant? His family, the Delphinos, owns a lot of commercial property in the DMV and a suspicious 911 call just came in from one of those properties stating that there’s a light on in a building that is slated for demolition tomorrow. The caller said they heard screaming coming from the building.”
Hotch looked around at the team, “Morgan contact SWAT. JJ, Morgan, you’re with me, Blake, Reid, with Rossi. Garcia, send the address to our phones.” Everyone was already moving as he distributed orders, heading to the elevator, and getting one step closer to you.
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He’s been watching you for months. From the exact moment he moved into the apartment next to yours, Paul declared himself your soulmate. You recognized his name when you first met, and it came up in one of your late-night Wikipedia binges. Paul Delphino was a member of a disturbingly wealthy family, up until his parents disowned him for suspicious cash transactions.
Your head hurt like hell, drips of blood were encrusted along your hairline, and you were fairly convinced that you were dying. Your vision blurred around the edges when you followed the noise of your captor around the room with your eyes, your body slightly suspended in the air by your arms, standing on your tiptoes to prevent too much strain on your shoulders.
Seeking comfort in your memory, you remembered this morning, kissing your sleepy boyfriend as he tiredly asked you to stay, but you needed to go back to your own apartment. You told him you loved him, which was the truth, but you needed a morning with your things.
If needing a morning with your things led to an untimely demise, then at least the last thing you told Spencer was that you loved him.
Long, unending scratches ran down your arms and legs, they weren’t deep enough to scar, but as they scabbed over, they began to itch. Cuts and scrapes weren’t going to kill you, but the knife in your abdomen likely would.
You tried to keep yourself as still as possible, your personal experience with stab wounds was lackluster, but you knew that the blade could be preventing any further bleeding. You weren’t sure if you should be grateful that Paul couldn’t get it up, seeing as he elected to stab you for a sexual release.
The black of your t-shirt concealed any blood on your torso, so you weren’t sure exactly how much blood you’d lost, but judging by the way the world was losing its color, things weren’t looking good for you.
You breathed out slowly through your nose, watching Paul pace back and forth in front of you, faint lantern light being the only thing illuminating whatever hellscape you were in. “Paul,” you said, your voice nearly a gasp, “I need help.”
At this point, you had no idea what your plan was, seriously considering asking him to let you heal so that he could come back and stab you again in a few weeks. What else did you have to offer him?  He scoffed in response, continuing his pacing until his steps faltered and he stalked over to you, causing you to flinch. “Did you call them?”
You groaned in pain, “Who the fuck could I have called?” You yelped like a wounded animal when he pulled the knife from your stomach.
He pointed the knife at your face, the metallic tang of your own blood filling your nostrils as you fought off a wave of nausea. “Why would you call the FBI on me?”
Tears flooded your eyes at his words. My sister’s here, you thought to yourself. Spencer’s here. “I didn’t,” you choked out, trying to remember how to breathe while you were dying.
Paul’s head snapped to look behind him, the rustling of SWAT and agents scaring him enough that he dropped the knife to the floor before taking off, leaving you alone in the room for someone to find.
Grunting, you tried to free your hands on your own, but you no longer had the physical strength to do anything except for hang. Tipping your head back in an attempt to keep your airway open, you called out, “JJ!”
You never thought the sight of your sister’s blonde ponytail would make tears run down your face, but as soon as she made her way into the room, saltwater left marks on your blood-stained face. “He went that way,” you jutted your head to the side, watching as the people in front of you stayed true to themselves. JJ ran off to chase Paul, and Spencer holstered his weapon to help you down.
“Hey,” he whispered, holding you while a SWAT member used a knife to undo your restraints, and Spencer caught you before your legs had a chance to give out.
You looked around the room, Morgan had gone with JJ to play cat and mouse, but Blake stayed behind with Spencer while they tried to get you sorted out. Everyone else would panic, announcing to the rest of the room that you were seemingly very slowly bleeding out would send the space into a frenzy, so you didn’t.
Spencer draped an FBI jacket over your shoulders, one of the spares that was kept in the SUVs.
“I need help,” you mumbled, your lips barely parting as you tried to save your strength to walk to an ambulance. “Spence,” you gasped, using your own hand to apply pressure to the wound.
He nodded, instinctively pressing a kiss to your forehead, “I know, I know.” His voice was tight, and you hated yourself for doing this to him.
Groaning, you shook your head, “I’m bleeding,” you murmured, watching as realization set into his features, wavering between horror and determination, Spencer nodded at you.
“Reid?” Blake called after the two of you, now noticing the drops of blood that were where you were standing, now being tracked through the building by your shuffling footsteps.
Spencer didn’t answer her, his attention was entirely on you as he kept you upright, bringing you closer and closer to the flashing lights of the ambulance. The cold of the night burned your nose as the fresh air gave you a new sense of determination, matching Spencer’s. “I’m sorry,” you told him, but you weren’t sure he could even hear you as you approached the ambulance.
“You need to get her to a hospital,” Spencer insisted once the EMTs were in earshot, his chest heaving as your feet dragged more and more with every step. “Please,” he begged them, helping you onto a stretcher before hauling himself into the rig, a one-track mind thinking of nothing else other than getting you the help that you need.
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Fifty-fifty were the odds that you gave yourself once you found a firm enough grasp on consciousness. There was a fifty percent chance you were going to open your eyes and be met with the harsh fluorescence of a hospital. There was a fifty percent chance that bastard Minos was going to send you straight to the Fields of Punishment.
You changed your bets once the scent of antiseptic burned your nostrils, you flinched at the smell, earning some soft shushing from the person on the other side of your eyelids. Sighing, you open your eyes just a sliver, “Hey, J,” you greeted her, your voice raspy from lack of use and probably a breathing tube.
Hospitals made your stomach churn, hunger and blood loss certainly contributed to the feeling as you tried to reorient yourself with the land of the living. “Hi, Ducky,” she whispered, taking your hand in hers and squeezing it reassuringly, “You’re okay.”
Humming, you closed your eyes again, being awake in stages, “Haven’t heard that one in a while,” you murmured, smiling softly. “I feel like shit,” you groaned, trying to shift in the bed just to be met with a shooting pain in your abdomen. Pieces of the puzzle started coming back to you.
“The doctors said you were really lucky, the knife didn’t hit any organs or blood vessels,” he told you, giving you an update on your condition. Waking up in hospitals always gave you an odd feeling, being surrounded by a group of people who knew more about how you were doing than you did.
Frowning, you let your eyes flutter open, “Yeah, lucky,” you breathed. “That’s exactly how I feel right now.”
JJ smoothed some of your hair away from your forehead, “He’s dead, Ducky.”
You furrowed your eyebrows, “Did you shoot him?”
She shrugged slyly, “I let Morgan take the shot.”
That was a lie you let her get away with. If JJ had been the one to shoot Paul, there likely would’ve been an investigation opened because of your familial tie—Strauss would’ve had her hands all over that one. This way, there was no question about ethics. “Thank you,” you whispered to her, “I’m
” your voice trailed off as you noticed someone else in the corner of the room.
Following your gaze, JJ looked confused, “He hasn’t moved all night.” Spencer was almost comedically folded in a hospital chair, his wrist bent beneath his chin as he slept. “He rode with you to the hospital, and I’m not sure—”
“I’m in love with him,” you cut her off mid-sentence. You watched your sister’s confusion morph into shock as she looked from you to Spencer and back again. “Spencer and I have been dating for the last nine months, and we haven’t told anyone. It wasn’t because we wanted to keep anyone in the dark or because we didn’t want you to know, we just liked having something that was ours.”
Surprise was clear on her face while she searched her mind for clues into what you were telling her. You could tell she was thinking, you recognized her thinking face as well as you would if you were looking in a mirror. “You and Spencer?”
You nodded stiffly, moving your upper lip to adjust your nasal cannula, “Yeah. Me and Spencer.”
“So, when I tried to pin the two of you together last fall
 you were already together?” She asked, recalling a night spent as a team at O’Keefe’s.
Giving her a lopsided smile, you held your hands out in mock surrender, “Yeah,” you echoed.
She just continued staring at you up until her phone rang, she apologized to you before picking it up, greeting Will over the phone, and stepping out into the hallway.
You tilted your head to the side, getting a better look at Spencer sleeping in the chair, “Spence,” you called out to him, remembering that you’re in a hospital and raising your voice is frowned upon, even as a patient. “Spencer,” you crooned, trying to wake him up without startling him.
He didn’t so much as budge, you tried again, but when he didn’t stir, you had to turn to violence.
With an aching arm, you grabbed a pen from the table attached to your hospital bed and flung it at him, gasping when the pen hit him in the head. His eyes opened, looking at you groggily as he stretched out his wrist.
“Hey,” he said, instantly over his irritation of being pelted with a BIC pen, “You’re up.” Spencer looked around the room noting no sign of your sister before he took her seat at your bedside, “You look good.”
You laughed slightly, the movement felt good spiritually, but physically it pulled at your stitches. “I look like shit,” you corrected him, you didn’t even need a mirror to know that.
Spencer smiled at you fondly, fingers carefully dancing along your hairline. His touch was tentative like he was afraid a single touch would break you, “You’ve certainly looked better,” he admitted.
The grin that bloomed on your face felt foreign after a day of pain, but it relieved you to stretch those muscles. “I’m sorry,” you whispered, noticing the way his hand faltered in its movements.
“It wasn’t your fault,” he reminded you, not even sure which it he was referring to, he simply wanted to know you weren’t to blame for any of it.
You hummed, adjusting yourself on your pillows, “But I took advantage of you.”
In response, Spencer reached out a hand, placing the back of it on your forehead, checking for a fever as if you weren’t hooked up to a vital monitor.
Swatting his hand away, you looked at him solemnly, “No, I took advantage of your rational minds when I asked you for help outside of the warehouse. I made the decision to ask you because I knew you would help me first and panic second.”
“Honey,” Spencer said, gingerly moving strands of hair off of your forehead, “You are severely underestimating my abilities if you think I wasn’t panicking while I was helping you.”
You pressed your lips together thoughtfully, looking at him, “I wanna go home,” you murmured, looking up at him with wide eyes.
He looked at you sadly, “Tomorrow, probably. I’ll bring you home and unpack the first load of your things in my place. You can sit on the couch and tell me where everything goes.”
“Spencer,” you said, gentle chide in your tone.
Your boyfriend hummed, “You didn’t seriously think I’d let you keep living in that apartment, did you?”
Honestly, you hadn’t had the time for the thought to cross your mind, but Spencer had always thought you lived in a bad part of town. He was right, of course, but this was a lot to digest all at once. “You don’t have to; I can just find a new apartment.”
He leaned over the bed, “It’s too late. I already asked Penelope to come over this weekend and help me go through my closet and dresser.”
“Did you tell her?” You asked him, reaching a hand up and tucking a strand of his hair behind his ear.
Spencer shook his head, “No, but I suppose we’ll have to.”
Chewing on the inside of your lip, you raised your eyebrows, “Well, I told JJ.” You informed him of the fact that you’d abrogated the seal of silence on your relationship.
“Rossi knows,” he told you like it should’ve been news to you.
You shrugged, “He figured it out months ago. I thought you knew that.”
Your boyfriend frowned, “How would I have known that?”
“He profiled us, it’s like reverse profiling,” you explained.
Spencer chuckled softly, “You’re right, my mistake.” His brown eyes shimmered as he took your hand in his, bringing it to his mouth and pressing a soft kiss to your knuckles.
He never took his eyes off of you, watching you like a hawk at every moment—you weren’t even sure he was blinking properly. “What’s still bothering you?”
Shaking his head, he dismissed your question immediately. You felt safe with him, when your sister returned to the doorway, she faltered at the sight in front of her. Spencer was resting his head on your hospital bed, softly chatting to you about sea otters while your eyes fluttered shut.
Before you fell asleep, she raised her eyebrows and held up a thumbs up, asking if you were okay.
A brief nod in response was all you needed, smiling at her softly while she went back to her phone call.
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prettyboykatsuki · 2 months ago
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call it quits or call it destiny | h. umemiya.
✼ tags ; afab + fem!reader(she/her pronouns, referred to as a girl, gets dressed up by tsubaki and kotoha), reader gets their hair braided (no desc of texture) and puts on makeup, lore heavy reader backstory + personality, deliquent!reader, gap moe, best friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, themes of insecurity, mutual pining,the use of she/her for tsubaki, jealousy, confessions, loss of virginity, creampies / unprotected sex, oral (f!recieving), fingering, 18+
✼ wc ; 13.9k (dont. don't say anything)
✼ a/n ; me when i completely lose my mind because i have a weekend off. whats wrong with me.
anyways. there's no major triggers for this but be forewarned reader is meant to be very rag-tag deliquent type. she has a strong personality and generally is not feminine. she is like a mangy street cat a bit. also if u want u should listen to easily by bruno major while reading.
✼ synopsis ; you've been quietly pining for umemiya for a little over ten years with no plans of confessing.
you did not have a plan for what you would do if umemiya confessed to you first.
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Once a day, everyday - Umemiya will come into your store, pause, smile, and confess his love to you before going off on his own.  
And once a day, everyday, you reject this confession with a soft huff  telling him to quit being stupid before shooing him away.  
It's become a ritual. A fixture in your daily routine that you're not allowed to ignore despite how hard you're trying.  
He's been doing it for three months, more or less. 
His reason for confessing everyday? Because he’s waiting on the day you confess back, of course. Which you've refused to do for the last few months and will continue to refuse for as long as you’ve got.  
It's not because you don't like him, alright? 
You've known Umemiya since middle school and you've liked him for about the same time. One of the core memories of your childhood is the day you met him, crying while sitting on a  swing-set, after what felt like the worst day of your life. 
( On the day you run away from home, you seriously consider not going back.  
You don’t really know how long you sit there. People walk by but most of them move on quickly. It’s mid-day before anyone bothers to stop and ask you something.  
 "I've never seen you around  before.” A strange looking boy approaches, friendly and unassuming but not entirely cheerful “Did you just move here?"  
You keep quiet, closing your eyes and hoping your lack of response is enough to push him away. Your hope fizzles out when you hear the swing creak as he sits besides you. 
"I'm Umemiya Hajime. I live close by." His voice is airy and causal. "I'm sorry you're having a bad day.”  
"Fuck off," You reply bluntly, frowning. “I don’t need sympathy. Leave me the hell alone.”  
He pauses before pushing himself slightly forward to barely swing.  
“I couldn’t leave you alone while you’re sad,” He voices willfully. "It might make you feel better to talk about it." 
In disbelief at his response, you finally look up and asses him properly. It doesn’t do much to change your initial unfavorable impression. White hair, blue eyes and a little taller than you. You’re definitely about the same age. All of that to say, there’s something weird about him that you can’t quite place.  
Despite his manner and way of speaking though, you don’t actually think he’s that weak which makes his whole aura even more unnerving to you. His attempt at being non-threatening doesn’t work for him. He’s being a real try-hard about trying to make you comfortable
 
Either way, he’s got an air about him that puts you on the defensive.  
 Talking to someone about it had never been much of any option, and somehow it pisses you off that he’s being so brazen about it.  
Maybe if you tell him about, he’ll stop prying into your business. Or maybe you’re just looking for excuses to let off steam. 
You don't care anymore. You wipe your nose with the back of your sleeve.  
"I don't live here and I didn’t move. I ran away." You reply.  
He keeps looking at you, curious, inquisitive and sympathetic.  
"Why?"   
"I broke a girls nose." You scowl. The words rise up in your throat like bile. Make you feel cornered. The wounds too fresh. "It—she bullied me for years for one. And I never fought back, it was all petty bullshit anyway and I didn't like getting calls home. I didn't care about that but she—it wasn't for nothing. She was causing trouble for Sensei."  
Umemiya keeps to himself, humming in response to your troubles. Your voice breaks on your next sentence, chest tightening.  
"It doesn't matter what she does to me but—" Your hands ball up at your first. Your throat feels thick, eyes suddenly watering as your chest throbs . "Anyway, I couldn’t let it go like normal."  
He hums. "So you hit her?" 
You shake your head, sniffling. "Not at first. Just told her to shut up. Said that she didn't know what she was talking about. She hit me first..." You screw your eyes shut, sighing. "...said she was gonna spread rumors about him just trying to get under my skin and be malicious,” You lean back slightly and look up towards the gray sky. “I punched her after that."  
You realize he's looking at your bloodied knuckles, but he isn't making an expression that you can read easily. You don’t remember the last time you spoke to someone like this who wasn’t Tsukimori-sensei.  
"Are you crying because you got in trouble?"  
“Who cares about that?” You sigh “Sensei had to put his job on the line and take responsibility for me,” Your brow furrows in frustration. “He’s the one person I don’t want to cause trouble for,” You grip the iron chains of the swing set with a closed fist and finally admit what you’ve been avoiding to say out loud. “I don’t want him to hate me
”  
The kid besides you smiles  absently at your words. Half-way between listening and recalling something else, it seems like. You can’t help but wonder what the hell his deal is. You barely know him but you’re spilling your guts. 
He speaks after a long while. "I don't think he sees it that way. I think you should try to talk to him about it."  
You make a face, rejecting the idea. "What? No way." 
Umemiya shrugs, smiling - though it doesn't quite meet his eyes.  
"He sounds like he cares about you. If he knew your reasons, there's no way he would hold it against you. And it’s important to share your burdens with people who care for you." You look over and see him smiling somberly at the mulch beneath his shoes before returning back to what you’ve grown to know as his usual self. "Anyways, I think we should be friends. Tell me your name."  
You sniffle again. What a weird guy. Well you say that but 
You still give him your name. 
"What a pretty name," 
When you tell him to shut up again, your new friend Umemiya just laughs.  
And you find you feel just a little bit lighter.)  
That night, Umemiya walked with you to take the last train and told you to come see him again  with good news. 
You aren't sure what compelled you to follow his advice. Maybe because he was the first person who sat down and listened to you about it other than Sensei himself. 
Tsukimori-sensei was your school counselor and the only adult in your entire life that seemed to worry about. You didn't have any friends in middle school and you were a scary looking delinquent girl without a mother and a mostly absent father.  
But Sensei was always incredible gentle to you and incredibly kind. And despite what rumors that girl tried to spread  - he was never anything more than an important mentor.  
It was fucking embarrassing crying in front of him but because you were honest - you got to keep in touch with him. He attended your middle school and high school graduation - supporting you as you started to sort your life out. Became the closest thing you ever really got to a parental figure.  
Over time, you got close with Umemiya and developed strong loyalty to him. You attended an all-girls middle and high school the next town over - totaling one other friend in all six years of your remaining education. Lack of socialization meant that Umemiya somewhat became the very center of your existence. 
It was easy to visit him thanks to parental neglect. You sort of melted into his life. Tsubaki once called you his guard dog as a half-joke, but there's some truth to the sentiment. Quick to defend, quick to heel, and always happy to see him.  
You, like many people, owe Umemiya a lot. His meddling over the course of ten years gave you reason to push forward. He even encouraged you to try and attend school and not give up on living a half-decent life. 
You've got a never-ending list of short-comings but being with him didn't make you hate yourself. It made you want to be better because you knew Umemiya would accept you for whoever you decided to be.  
So despite your delinquency, you managed to graduate high school. Post-graduation, you attended a vocational culinary school and became a patisserie before moving to Furin for permanent residency. You opened a bakery and supply bread to Kotoha-chans diner.  
You made something of your life mostly 'cause of Umemiya. He's not your only friend anymore but he's still your best. Even though you never really pictured things like dating or romance - in some way it only makes sense that it'd be that meddling, kind-hearted idiot that you end up falling for it.  
Lovesickness aside, you respect Umemiya more than anyone in your personal life.  
He’s stuck around with someone like you this long after all. That means a lot to you.  
Somehow the two of you mesh well despite being totally opposite.  
You decided as soon as you realized it sometime in high school that you'd keep your feelings a secret for the rest of your life. You had a strong resolve in your beliefs about the whole thing which made it easy. You hid 'em so well even Sakura's stupid accurate romance detector didn't uncover them.  
When you picture Umemiya's future - it was easy to picture the kind of woman he would end up with. Another kind-hearted idiot like him, a social butterfly. Someone a little softer.  
In any case it definitely was not you. You didn't need it to be. You've received so much from him already, you never entertained the idea. Plus, Umemiya has dated other people over the years, so in your head there was never any hope to cling onto.  
For all reasons listed above, a requited romance is at the very bottom of your expectations.  
That's why you've been in this fucking conundrum.  
To say it was a complete shock to you when Umemiya openly confessed to you many months ago would be understatement of the goddamn century.  
He confessed right on the last day of Spring, totally out of the blue. 
(It’s a little unusual for Umemiya to call you at this hour. If it were anyone else, you’d be a little upset since you’ve gotta be up around four-am to get prepared for the day.  
It’s him though so you’re particularly tolerant, yawning as you find Umemiya on a familiar swing-set, still wearing your PJ’s.  
"Why am I out here in the middle of the night with you?"  
Your words lack any real malice as you sit down. Umemiya remains totally quiet. It's unusual for him to not immediately go on a tangent upon seeing you.  
"Oi. Earth to Hajime." You frown at him. "Did ya get beat up before coming here and scramble your brain? Give me the popsicle before it melts."  
He looks over at you and chuckles as he hands you the bag from the convenience store. You ignore his odd behavior and open up said popsicle before it melts  - carefully splitting it down the middle and giving him the bigger side before going to town on your own. He takes it from you but doesn't even bring it up to his mouth.  
Weird.  
"Did something... happen? Like seriously happen?" You take a long lick of your iced treat. It's melon flavored, your favorite. "Seeing you frown doesn't feel right. Gives me the heebie-jeebies."  
He cracks a little smile at that. It makes you feel better. He shakes his head.  
"Mm, nothing happened. I just have something I want to tell you."  
You nod in understanding. "'kay. Take your time."  
He blinks, surprised.  
"Hm? Aren't you gonna scold me for wasting your time?"  
"Nah. Whatever it is must be serious if it's making you all introspective or whatever. 's fine. Bring me coffee tomorrow and I'll forgive ya."  
His lip twitches up. "I l really like that about you."  
You feel yourself flush and wave a hand at him. "Ahh, shut up."  
He pauses for a second then shakes his head. "Mm. It's more like I like everything about you, actually."  
You twist your face in confusion. "What are you on about now?"  
"That's what I came here to tell you." Umemiya says after a deep breath. He says it so casually you wonder if you're mishearing him - leaning back to look up at the stars. "I really, really like you. I just felt like I had to tell you that"  
You stare at him in disbelief.  
"Wha—huh?"  
He doesn't even flinch as he repeats it.  
"I like you."  
"No the hell you don't."  
He furrows his brow with a light laugh. "I just told you that I do, silly."  
"But that's—" You don't say the word impossible. You really want too, but you know exactly how he would react if you did. You simply shake your head. "No, you don't." 
"I thought you might respond like this so don't worry but how about you?" He shrugs then looks at you intently. "I thought you might like me too."  
Your eyes go wide. Oh fuck.  
You feel like a deer caught in headlights. You know you should be happy about this, deep down. That'd be the normal response.  
But you just feel complicated as shit instead. Fuck does he mean? Umemiya.... likes you? There's just no way that's true. Not after all of this time. And how the fuck does he know you like him back when you've been keeping it in? 
You can't bring yourself to look him in the face and lie. Your heart rises to your throat as you shakily stand to your feet.  
"Stop...thinking whatever you've been thinking. I'm going home." You reply in complete panic. 
 The minute you say it, you turn on your heel so you don't have to look at his face. You don’t even want to know.  
And before Umemiya can catch you and try to talk it out, you bolt. 
What the fuck was that?)  
For the last few months, you've been avoiding the topic of conversation as much as you humanly can.  
The possibility of Umemiya even just accepting your feelings was already far beyond your imagination, but him returning them? Confessing first? That wasn't even in your realm of possibility.  
Ever since then, you've been losing your mind trying to force your life and train of thought to go back to normal. You’ve done all of the math on it.  
Realistically, you can't ignore him. Your lives are so mixed together it'd be impossible unless you went under protection and changed your name which you briefly considered. You thought of turning him down but you’re pretty sure you wouldn’t be able to actually do it despite how good you are at keeping it in. Either way, your best option logistically is feigning ignorance and trying to keep the whole thing out of your mind entirely which should've been easy.  
Tricking yourself into believing the whole thing was a dream? Lightwork.  
Except. Except.  
Umemiya just won't give up.  
He confesses to you again every single day. Worse, he doesn't care whose around to hear him. No one in your friend group seems even the tiniest bit shocked by it which doesn't help the situation. You can't get used to it, can't get used to him being so fucking cheeky as he stops you midway through normal conversation to tell you he loves you.  
He's persistent to a fault and while you've done well feigning immunity - you can't survive like this.  
You've graduated to tell him to go away and treating the whole thing like some big joke.  
But honestly? 
You're avoiding having a proper conversation about it. Umemiya is especially keen in not letting you forget that. And determined to make you confess.  
But you're not going to to let him sway you.  
You've got principles, after all.  
__  
After you close up shop on Friday, you get dressed to attend a kickback with all of your friends.  
It's a barbecue technically - commemorating the end of summer. Togame is really into grilling and in their weird domestic partnership, Chouji really enjoys hosting. They've done this once or twice a year ever since they started living together.  
Once you've finished cleaning up the store, you take the train to Kotoha's place - mistakenly assuming you'd leave as soon as you got there. However you failed to realize that Tsubaki and Kotoha would be getting ready together.  
You got jumped as soon as you walked through the door - so now you're wearing a different pair of clothes that Tsuabki got for you and waiting for them to finish getting you dressed up so you can leave.  
Tsuabkino is inches from your face while Kotoha braids your hair. You feel itchy and exposed but with both of them here there's no way you're going to get out of wearing it. 
"Can we just go?" You grumble, not enjoying the feeling of being poked and prodded.  
"No," Tsubaki insists, frown making her expression pinch. "You have half an eyelash on. Sit still." 
"He'll be happy to see you dressed up," Kotoha adds, trying to encourage you. You frown and look down.  
"Whatever. I don't care about makin' him happy."  
The both of them pause and stare at you until you fold under the pressure - screwing your eyes shut and making you flush.  
“Such a blatant lie.”  
Tsubaki giggles. “Right?”  
Your face feels hot. "Ahhh, alright already. Shut up."  
"Honest girls are much cuter," Tsubaki coos. You give her a half-assed glare.  
"Don't you like Hajime? Why're you trying to set me up with him still?" You mumble. You always think they’d make a perfect pair.  
"Of course I like him. He's my prince." She smiles at you. “But it’s a little different to how a certain someone loves him. And well, if you knew the way he looked at you
"  
You frown, feeling hot all the way up to your ears as you ball your fists up and look down at your lap. "Whatever." 
"You should stop trying to worm your way out of it," Kotoha adds, much less sweetly. "You know how he is. He couldn't give up on you for ten years like some idiot."  
You blink. "Huh? But ten years would mean -"  
Kotoha braids your hair even tighter making you wince. "I know. You're both stupid like that."  
"Don't be mean, Kotoha-chan. And you, be a little more honest, okay?"  
You sigh deeply. 
"Ain't like anything is gonna happen either way. I already told you both I'm not accepting his confession," 
"Cause you're a huge wuss, yeah we know."  
You elbow Kotoha lightly.  
"Maybe nothing will," Tsubaki hums mischievously.  "But it feels nice to dress up for him, right?"  
You pretend the thought doesn't make your hear flutter.  
Tsubaki does you the kindness of laughing lightly before moving on. 
__  
You arrive to the function an hour later than planned and stick mostly with Kotoha and Tsubaki until half way through the evening.  
Loosening up with a few drinks, the three of you part ways to catch-up with different people. It's not rare you see them, but it's not often everyones schedules allow them to be in the same place.  
Lucky for you, Umemiya does you the courtesy of not confessing during the first half of the night before food comes out.  
(Though you do spit beer in his face after he calls you pretty, which he takes on the chin after cleaning up.)  
After dinner, the function simmers down significantly. People quietly break off into groups and chat to each other into the late night. About that time people split whatever desserts they brought among guests.  
You brought cookies and something specifically for Chouji and Togame as thanks for hosting.  
Towards the end of the night, you find yourself sticking sort of close to Umemiya. Though he's having his own one-on-one conversation with Hiragi while sitting next to you , turned the other way.  
You busy yourself catching up to Suo, Sakura and Nirei - all of whom you consider yourself close to.  
Of them, you're the closest to Nirei which always surprises people. 
The kids a total wimp but he helped you years ago study to graduate so you're a little closer to him than everyone else. He's a great guy though and you hang out alone sometimes too.  
The conversations gone far left at this point in the evening.  
Suo leans back against his chair and looks toward Sakura besides him with a lazy smile.  
"Sakura-chan would make a great wife." 
You snort listening to them bicker. Sakura grows beet red, throwing an empty beer can at Suo's head that he catches gracefully.  
"Go die."  
"What? You're good at domestic work and you have a cute side, Isn't that all you need?"  
"Shut up. I'll kill you."  
As Suo breaks out into laughs, Sugishita comes down from the kitchen just in time to catch the argument. He crinkles his nose up.  
"Oh, Sugishita-kun. 'Sup."  
He nods to your greeting as he leans against the wood railing of the outdoor deck.  
"What the hell are you two talking about?" 
'What? You mean about Sakura being a good wife?" Suo asks. Sugishita crinkles his nose. 
"Don't phrase it so repugnantly but yeah I guess." 
"We were talking about marriage 'cause I was complaining at work."  
"What's happening at work?" 
Nirei sighs as he lays it out again to Sugishita after having given the spiel to the three of you once.  
"One of my superiors at work is a lot older than me and keeps bringing up marriage," Nirei explains woefully. "It's all he talks about. He thinks I'm seeing someone."  
Sugishita frowns. "Eh? What gave him that impression?"  
A good question you hadn't considered asking.  
You raise your brow at Nirei who laughs awkwardly while he holds your gaze.  
"You know that picture of us from highschool? When he came to the cafe at your school festival?"  
You smile spitefully, crinkling your nose in faux distaste. "The one wear we wearing those stupid maid costumes?"  
"Yup. That's the one. It's a good picture of us so I keep it on my desk and he saw it so..."  
"You keep a picture of just the two of you on your desk? No wonder he got that impression.” Suo adds.  
You sense Umemiya suddenly tense which you find weird. He's still talking to Hiragi though when you glance from the corner of your eye. You brush it off.  
Nirei blushes, elbowing him.  
"Shut up. I've got group pictures and stuff too. But he just singled out that one cause you know,"  
You nod in understanding before it dawns on you. Your eyes widen. "Oh, shit? Does that old man think you're dating me?"  
Nirei closes his eyes and sighs. "He won't even let me correct him." 
You pause before breaking out into genuine laughter.  
"Pfft, that's terrible." You reply sympathetically, taking a sip of your beer before giving a mischievous grin. "Maybe you can make it work for you though, eh? Tell 'em we got hitched forreal and then I'll call you on the phone and nag you to get home for dinner so you can leave earlier."  
Nirei acts like he's touched making you laugh even harder. "You'd do that for me?"  
You give him another toothy grin. "I'll even help you fake some wedding photos. We'll be accomplices." You lean back with a shrug. "You gotta wear the dress though." 
Sugishita laughs at that. "You being a blushing bride is a little..."  
You snort, shooting him a dirty look "Shut up."  
"Deal. Not a bad plan honestly." Nirei says with a sigh. "Whatever gets me out of the office early."  
"Even if that means being married to me?" You joke.  
He smiles at you. "Aw, what do you mean? That's the best part."  
You chuckle at him good-natuedly and the conversation quickly moves on.  
The alcohol is starting to make you dizzy so you eventually tune out as the four of them talk, glancing at Umemiya from the corner of your eye.  
You swear you catch a glimpse of his jaw ticking.  
__  
For the rest of the night, Umemiya is off.  
No one else can tell. You know that because the atmosphere remains light until everyone leaves around two-am. There's no blips or tension, no awkward pauses. 
But you know Umemiya. He's been real weird all night and it's bugging the shit out of you.  
It's a well past two now, and you've just left the late night cab you took with him. Umemiya lives close so he's walking you home.  
He's usually energetic after a get-together like that so his dead silence is weirding you out. You're pretty good at figuring his feelings out but for once you feel totally clueless.  
It feels as if even the cicadas and crickets have gone to sleep. There's nothing bu the streetlights overhead and soft glow of the moon, coupled with the soft click of your shoes on the pavement. Occasionally, a car will pass by.  
At one point, it becomes too much. There's still a few minutes until you're home.  
You stop in the middle of the sidewalk and turn around to look at him. Umemiya pauses, startled as he stops with you, and doesn't smile which only makes your concern worsen.  
"Oi. What's up with you?"  
"Hm?"  
You cross your arms over your chest.  
"Don't 'hm' me. You've been in a bad mood few for the last few hours. It's gonna bug me all night if I don't ask, so what's up?"  
He stares at you.  
"You noticed?"  
"How could I not notice?"  
"I was hiding it pretty well, I thought." He states more than asks, half-smile on his face.  
"Yeah. But well," You shrug. "I'm always looking at you for better or for worse. So. What's wrong?"  
He stares at you a long time before sighing, running his fingers through his hair. You've never seen him like this. You've seen him pissed off before, seen him mildly irritated - but never this... pouty? It's not like he's pissed.  
He's quiet, taking a deep breath of cool night air before sliding his hands into his pockets and taking a good look at your face. 
"Do you know that I like you?"  
Your eyes widen as you blink wildly.  
This is what he wants to talk about? 
He pins you down with his stare, hands in his pockets and intense as ever.  
"Don't even think about bolting this time, okay? I'm asking you seriously. Do you?" 
Your eyes flicker down the concrete - feeling extremely uncomfortable and suddenly sweaty. You shrug, unsure of what else you could say or do.  
"Hard not to know." You mumble. "You tell me everyday." 
"But do you get it?"  
Your frown deepens.  
"Of course not. How could I possibly get something like that, stupid?"  
He takes a deep breath. "But you like me, don't you?"  
Panic sets in. If you could sink straight into the Earth you would.  
"...Never said that." 
He calls your name quietly. "Look at me, at least. Stop running away from me and just look." 
You know you're being stubborn but you can't help it. You've kept it a secret for ten years and all of a sudden he wants you to tell him you like him? You've held it in for so long already and he's telling you not to run away.What other choice is there?  
One wrong move move and everything will come crashing down inside of you. You can't even lie about it either.  
Damn it.  
"I won't look." Your voice is warbly and it makes you feel so pathetic you could die, tucking your chin petulantly "Don't wanna,"  
Umemiya frowns at you.  
"If you say you don't like me I'll let it go."  
You remain very quiet and close your eyes tighter. He sighs softly, making your chest hurt.  
After a minute, you muster up the courage to be dishonest - determined to drop it at all costs. You're slow as you pick your head up.  
"I don't like you," You repeat slowly, carefully - trying not to stumble the words. "So quit it, alright?"  
He laughs humorlessly and holds your gaze.  
"That's the first time you've ever actually lied to me. You're terrible at it," 
"I'm not lying." You snap. Umemiya smiles somberly when he sees tears on the corners of your eyes. He steps closer to you. You freeze. When his hand reaches cups your cheek, you feel your legs lose all their strength and close your eyes. You're terrified to even look at him, not wanting him to see what you know is obvious on your face.  
He wipes them as he tilts your face towards him slowly. 
"Tell me, at least. If you're going to refuse me, don't I deserve to know why? Do you hate the idea of dating me that much?"  
You shake your head. "Stupid. How would anyone hate that?"  
"So I deserve to know why you're turning me down."  
A long moment of silence draws you out of your feelings. You guess that's fair enough. Maybe this way he'll leave you alone  - as long you're clear about your reasons. He’s the earnest type after all.  
You manage to suck up all your tears and clear your throat enough to give him an explanation. 
You step back a little from him, putting some distance between you as you stare down at the sidewalk. 
"You know... I respect ya more than anyone else. You've always been someone I admire. And I uh, owe you a lot. So I only want the very best for you and all." You scratch your neck, taking a deep sigh. "For me... regardless of my feelings, I want you to be with someone who really fits, you know? Well put-together and everything. Someone that suits you better"  
He pauses before frowning.   
"Regardless of your feelings? Does that mean you were willingly pushing them aside?" He says distraught. "For how long?"  
You shrug, trying to lighten the conversation. It’s too devastating otherwise. "About ten years, give or take." 
The sheer distress in his face makes you want to keep talking, just he doesn’t look so disheartened. Like some explanation will clear things up.  
"It ain't a bad thing, Hajime. You've given me a lot and I'm serious when I say I want the best for you. I love you, if that's what you wanna hear. I'm content just being besides you as your friend." You say with a shrug. "I can be kinda selfish but there's a limit to my greed,yknow."  
He looks like he's in shock. 
"Wanting someone to love you back isn't greedy or selfish."  
You find you don't have anything to say with that, but hope he drops it for the time being. 
Umemiya stares at you seriously. It makes your breath hitch meeting his eyes, blue with all the depth in the world. You feel like you can't pull yourself from his gaze.  
"And there was never a possibility? Not once that I could've liked you? That I wanted to be with you?"  
"It doesn't matter." You say. "And no, it never crossed my mind.."  
"Stop saying it doesn't matter. Of course it matters. Your feelings matter the most so don't toss them aside so easily. Do you really believe that you're not right for me?"  
You aren’t sure how to answer him.  
"You think you're not good enough for me." He says with some realization more than asks.  
It's the first time you see his face change. When you look up, he looks well and truly angry. The whole thing is confusing.  
"I'm sorry," You say. It’s such a timid thing to say but you don’t know how else to fix.  
"It's not—I just don't like hearing you talk about yourself like that. I don't like hearing someone I love get spoken about like that.” 
You ignore the sentiment again and wait in the quiet. You always thought this would be an easier conversation to have but it hurts.  
He sighs a bit, getting closer to you again. He’s less upset than before but there’s something else in his expression.  
"You wanted to know why I was upset earlier right? It's because of you and Nirei-kun." He admits.  
"What about him?"  
"You talked about marrying him so casually. I overheard and it bothered me all night."  
Your eyes go wide.  
"I—it wasn't serious."  
"I know that. I never thought I was that childish either but you being married to someone else as a joke." He laughs humorlessly. "I really hated it. That’s why I asked if you know how much I like you."  
You feel frozen in place by his admission. 
Umemiya steps towards you faster than you can muster up a counter for why he shouldn’t bother.  
His arms around you feel sudden. His grip on you is so tight, like you could slip through his arms all at once if he loosens it. He smells like cologne and beer and summer but it's not unpleasant. He rests his chin on your head and lets out a deep breath.  
Your chest is throbbing for different reasons now. Shit. Shit, shit, shit.  
"If you won't be greedy, then you should at least let me be." He lets out a long, tense breath "At least let me have what I want." 
You're stuck. Your mouth moves faster than your brain.  
"Why me? And why now?"  
Umemiya pulls away to stare down at you. You can't bring yourself to turn away from him. 
"It was always you. I felt guilty... for wanting to you that way when you were a precious friend. Wanting to treat you delicately when you were strong and proud." He admits. Hearing him say that out loud embarrasses you to no end, “But it was those things that made me love you. Strong yet clumsy. Prideful yet honest. Awkward yet trying to be gentle. Loyal. And always considerate of everyone. Of me, when I was taking care of everyone else."  
Your stomach feels like it's going to erupt. You're losing your resolve faster than you know how to mend it.  
"Stop saying stuff like that."  
Umemiya holds you tighter and shakes his head. "No. How else will I get you to change your mind?"  
"I won't change my mind." You say stubbornly.  
"I love you." He repeats.  
You squirm.  
"Stop it,"  
"I want to be with you. I want to kiss you. I want to hold you. I want to stay by your side forever. I want to do things with you and make you feel good. I want to make you smile. I want to grow old with you." 
Your hearts fluttering. Fuck.  
"Idiot. What are you saying? Let me go."  
"It has to be you for me. I won't have anyone else no matter what you think. The person I love is you. I love you."  
"Hajime." Your voice is shaking. 
His drops down to a whisper.  
“I can’t change how you think of yourself overnight but I can tell you that there’s no point in trying to push me away. Whether or not you accept  me, we’ll never stop being side by side - so please stop fighting it.”  
You put your hands on his chest, trying to push him away. “Stop it,” 
"Please tell me it's okay to love you how I want too," He says, soft and doting while he crushes you in his arms. "And please love me in return."  
You put your hands up to your misty eyes wanting to wipe them away as he melts through the rest of your resolve like it's nothing. It's hard not to be moved. You've been pretending for ten long years that you don't love him at all and he's declaring his love for you like it's the easiest, most sensible and sane thing in the world.  
A kind-hearted, willful, meddling idiot. How you are you supposed to push him away when he's holding you this tight?  
"Shit," You voice, huffing as your voice shakes. "Don’t be stupid, alright? If you’re so insistent, I wont let you back out if you meet someone else."  
He laughs wetly.  
"I already tried meeting other people, but it's still you. Always was."  
He smiles above you. 6'2 with watery eyes with the look of pure relief like it's the best news he's ever heard in his life. It's too much for you. Your heart is racing so fast you wonder if you're gonna die.  
"Can I kiss you?" He asks.  
Your eyes go wide as you look away, not wanting to look too eager. "That's..."  
He makes another puppy-dog kinda face. "Please?"  
You're embarrassed by how easy it makes you give in. "...Do whatever you want."  
He laughs bright and warm as his hands slide up to cup your cheeks and kiss you with all the passion he can muster. It's intense, almost suffocating the way he slots his lips against yours and breathes you in. He doesn't let you up from it, doesn't part from you for a second even when he pulls away - noses brushing and stealing the air from your lungs.  
It's your stupid first kiss and it's perfect - so perfect you wonder if you're going to wake up in a dream. He kisses you hard and makes you stand on your toes to chase his lips when he pulls back. Elated. Ecstatic when you grasp the front of his shirt and keep kissing him when he stops. 
He pauses before littering your whole face with pecks even as you weakly protest, unable to stop frowning but feeling the happiest you've ever been.  
There's so much longing in between you, you feel like you could die. You feel helpless.   
"Can I come home with you?" He asks, once he stops - only holding your hand a short distance away. "I want more time together." 
You feel your skin burn hot as you nod, all while trying not to read too much into it. 
"Yeah."  
__ 
You barely get to lock your door behind you before Umemiya crowds you in the door way.  
His arms circle around your waist, chin resting against your shoulder.. Broad chest against your back, you try not to flounder as his warm voice caresses your ear.  
You're going to die young if he keeps this up.   
"I love you,"  
You flush. "Enough already. And let me go so I can wash up."  
"Do you need to sleep early? Thought you were closed tomorrow. Wanted to talk a little longer."  
You pause.  
"...Sleep?" 
"Hm?"  
You both freeze as the miscommunication dawns at the same time. You try to pull away from him as soon as you realize, skin burning hot. You're quick but Umemiya is quicker.  
"Hajime." You say gravely. "If you don't let me go, I'm gonna kill you."  
"No way," He laughs  as you attempt to wriggle out of his grasp. "Is that why you let me in? Were you expecting something?"  
"Shut up! Don't say anything, I swear I'll —"  
"Don't be like that, baby. I'm not making fun of you. Hey, turn around. Look at me."  
You're upset but you think the reason is more embarrassing then the feeling.  
"Don't wanna,"  
Umemiya laughs as he gently turns you around to face him. In your utter mortification, you can barely bring yourself to meet his gaze.  
"Stop staring."  
He doesn't.  
"Do you normally invite guys in just 'cause they ask?"  
"Wha—no! It's because it's you, stupid!"  
He smiles in satisfaction.  
"You shouldn't say yes so easily even if it is me. What if I took advantage of you?"  
You think he's just being smug for the sake of it, which is pissing you off. You grab him by the front of his shirt.  
"Fuck off. Maybe there's a reason I said yes."  
He pauses before his eyes widen. You push your hand against his mouth before he blurt anything else out but he's quick to pry your hand away.  
"Don't say it." You hiss.  
"I was planning on taking my time. I cherish you and I want to make sure you know that. I'm just a little surprised you’re moving so quick when you were telling me not too long ago."  
You can feel the tips of your ears growing hot, feeling even more self-conscious. "Whatever. If we're just going to sleep I still need to wash up."  
He keeps his arms behind your back so you can’t move.  
"Hey. Didn't say that. It's not like I don't want to do it with you. Just don't want you to regret anything."  
You give him an flat look. "I was prepared to give you my virginity and you're worrying about that. Unless you're planning on backing out, there's no way I would."  
"Your—" His jaw drops a little.  
You drop your voice down just a little close as you grab his collar.  
"If you get it, then hurry up and fuck me. Stupid Hajime."  
He gives you the dopiest smile you've ever seen while your face grows increasingly hot, leaning to in to press a kiss to your lips. He brushes his nose with yours. Laughter from deep in his chest.  
"Yes, ma'am."  
__ 
Once you give Umemiya permission to have you, you get the feeling that there really is no going back from here.  
You both know it. The tension in your bedroom is so thick you can barely breathe around it.  
Umemiya lands gently onto your bed - sitting up as he holds you by your waist and pulls you over to him. You're so aware of his touch it makes your nerves feel they're on fire. You're not a total virgin - at least not enough to be feeling this worked up over someones hands lingering on your waist.  
But they're Umemiya's hands—Hajime's hands, so you can't rationalize your thoughts of out it. His hands are strong and big, a little calloused and rough from the gardening and fighting. You can feel how much he adores you in a gesture so small it makes you concerned for your own heart thinking about how the rest of the night will go.  
He invites you into his lap gently, so pleased by the way you go to him so willingly. You spread yourself over him with your knees on either side of his thighs. He's big - wide and broad.  
Your barely hovering over his bulge as you lean your weight onto him. His hand barely brushes underneath your top, just barely touching the skin.  
You shiver.  
"Are you really sure this is what you want?" He asks. "I don't mind waiting as long as you need,"  
You give him an bored look. "Not very convincing when you're makin' a face like that,"  
He chuckles nervously. "That bad?"  
You nod before adding a little bashfully. "Dunno if I mind, though."  
He buries his fact against your chest all of a sudden making you jump.  
"The hell?"  
"You're so cute when you're honest like that," He mumbles into your chest, cheek pressed against your tits.  
"Jeez, shut up. What're you talking about?"  
Umemiya pulls back and leans forward - enough to breach the inches of space between you. Nose to nose, your eyes meet. A bated breath, you put your hand on his shoulders and work up the nerve to kiss him.  
It's chaste. Mostly for you to break the ice otherwise you're sure you're gonna pussy out.  
He smiles at you when you pull away.  
"See what I mean? So cute," He hums, and leans in again. "Come on. Kiss me again."  
Something about him is different when he tells you to kiss him. It's not smug or cheeky. But it's not casual either. Softness tinges his words, his touch - his whole demeanor screams like he loves you absolutely. It makes your heart rate pick up again, hands shaky as you try not to lose your nerve.  
He's restraining himself though. How he intense he could be vs how soft and calm he is being. You know Umemiya like the back of your hand so you want him to do what he wants. It's hard to find your voice.  
"You don't have to.." You cast your eyes down in embarrassment. "
hold back with me, either. I'm not some maiden."  
He smiles at you a little. "You really do know me better than anyone, huh? I was keeping it together pretty well."  
"Look I know I’m kinda difficult
I'm not real good with stuff like this either," You fidget with the collar of his shirt with your free hand. "But once I say yes I don’t back out. So don't worry about scaring me off or putting too much pressure on me or whatever. ...'s fine to just do what you feel like. I’m scared out of my mind but I wouldn’t do that to you,"  
“Don’t know how long it’ll take but I’ll do my best to make you feel secure. Might take some time but we’ve got our whole lives.” You flush at the implication. He smiles a little. "Whatever I want seems like a lot to give, though."  
"Well...depending on what, I'm might not be good at it,"   
He shakes his head. "I don't want anything like that."  
"What do you want then?"  
"You." He says easily. Your stomach flips. "All of you. I just want to make you feel so good you can't stand it. Want to worship you top to bottom. There's not a single part of you I don't want."  
You flush. "The hell... I meant like a blowjob or some shit."  
He laughs. "I know. And I want that too, another time." He hums, taking a deep breath. "Right now I just want you to feel so good for me. Is that okay?"  
You can't look at him. You can barely stand how bashful you're being, but you can't even play coy. Something in you is bursting at the seams.  
You love him so much you don't recognize yourself, or your voice, or how you're acting. It makes you sick but you can’t do anything but go with it. "Yeah. 's okay, if it's what you want."  
"It is," He says, leaning in. "All I've ever wanted."  
You ignore the latter half of his comment as he finally goes to kiss you again.  
He pulls your body close to him as you do. Until your chest to chest, arms wrapped around the span of his shoulders as you press your lips together soft and slow.  
He slides a hand underneath your top, undoing the clasp of your bra. He lets his palm stay on the center of your back while you keep kissing - straps of your bra falling down your shoulder as he splays his fingers to feel more of your skin and hold you. Hugging you close to him, his other arm wraps around your torso. His forearms feels especially strong they way they hold you by the waist.  
You're so close to him. Kissing him so deep, his tongue sliding against your lips. Something about the kiss is languid but the touch is so hot it makes your skin burn. You feel wrapped up in him, can't even tell whose heartbeat you're hearing. 
More of your weight ends up in his lap as you feel your knees go weak. Something hard presses against your clothed cunt and you gasp a little into his mouth.  
"Oh, shit." You mumble in surprise. Umemiya laughs.  
"You're making me feel good." He hums.  
Your face heats up. "I barely did anything." 
"You just being on my lap is more than enough."  
You make a face at him before rubbing yourself over the zipper of his jeans, slow and deliberate trying to get a feel for it. You hear him moan, nearly jumping out of your skin in surprise.  
The way Umemiya moans is a lot for you to process. Breathy and a little low. It resonates through your whole body like a caress.  
You make a few more tentative passes over his bulge, just to hear him do it again. Driven by your instinct more than anything, you lean into kiss at his jaw - making use of the limited experience you do have to try and draw more sounds from him.  
"What're you thinking about?" He asks, still breathless. Maybe amused.  
"Like the way you sound." You mumble in reply.  
"I thought I told you I wanted to take care of you, hm?"  
You frown. "So what? I can't touch you at all?"  
He thinks on it. "You can touch me everywhere else and you can have your way with me later, if you want it. I don't wanna cum too fast."  
"I'm just..."  
He shakes his head. "You're underestimating me. I'm still a guy, you know? With a woman I love at that. There's no way I would make it through our first time if I didn't focus on you. Don't pout,"  
Hearing him describe you in such an embarrassing way makes you flush. You roll your eyes half-heartedly. "Fine, whatever."  
He smiles.  
"Good girl. C'mere. Lay down."  
You decide not to think about how effected the praise makes you as you comply.  
Umemiya lays you down carefully, making sure you're comfortable before hovering over you. He looks a lot more imposing from this view - the dim lights of your room making his face seem more well-defined. Your nipples harden in arousal, peeking from underneath your shirt as he stares long and hard.  
"You're so beautiful to me."  
He leans down and presses a hot kiss to your jaw, just underneath your ear before slowly kissing down your neck. Open-mouthed kisses along delicate skin, tongue sliding over every patch he scrapes lightly with his teeth. You fidget underneath him, a dull throbbing between your legs. You try to figure out what to do with your hands but you’re too nervous.  
He kisses your throat where it's extra sensitive and you bite back and involuntary noise. 
"Don't hold your voice, please?"  
"It's embarrassing,"  
"It's not," He assures, bumping his forehead to your shoulder lightly. "I want to know what makes you feel good. Let me pay attention to you."  
You frown but nod ultimately.  
Umemiya isn't the first sexual encounter you've had in your life. You've done other things, but you've never really gone all the way with anyone. All of your other partners were mostly strangers - people mutually interested in using someone else to try and get off.  
This is the first time anyone has taken this much time with you. A little kissing and groping, sometimes touching your chest.  
No one's ever touched you like this, though.  
His hands feel like they're all over your body no matter where they actually end up being. Makes your heartbeat rain drumming on a tin roof. Makes your stomach tingle, a heat in your calves and a prickly feeling on your back. Your whole being drowning with pure anticipation.  
"Take this off for me." Umemiya mumbles. You nod, feeling absent as you wiggle yourself out of your tight little tee and toss it somewhere.  
The air shifts again when you're naked. His eyes drink you in, tracing the soft lines and edges of your body. Looking over scars and stretchmarks with pure, blown out wanting that shoots lust straight into your veins.  
You want him to fuck you so bad it's killing you but the very thought makes you feel so shy you could die.  
"You're beautiful," Sounds dirty the way he says, makes it spill from his lips like wine tipping over a glasses edge. "Perfect. Every inch of you is so perfect."  
He proves this to you by kissing you again. Running his hands over your skin. Up against curved sides and down against your arms, brushing the back of your biceps and forearms.  
Infatuation in his touch ruins you. Makes your voice let out. You can't think of anyone whose treated you so preciously in your entire life and you find you don't resent it as much as you should.  
(You find it feels so good to let someone touch you so kindly. A touch like you're being loved.)  
Nonetheless it's embarrassing. Of course it is.  
But it's so hard not to feel pulled in when you feel the way he kisses you. Draws a trail with his lips and tongue from jaw to shoulder blade - kissing down your biceps with his hands on your body, taking  gentle inhales of your scent.  
Anticipation makes your stomach tie in knots but finally he relents. Both hands squeeze the soft weight of your chest, palms brushing your hardened nipples.  
"Fuck."  
He laughs a little, heavy with want. "Yeah? Do you like being touched here?"  
"Mm." Is the best reply you can get out.  
He brushes against the tips with his fingers in a feather-light gesture, testing the waters before rubbing with a little more pressure. Your body jolts from the stimulation, wetness pooling and dampening your underwear. He leans in and takes one of your nipples into his mouth making another dull wave of lust wash through you.  
And he makes sure to pay attention to both. It's just like him to be so attentive to some shit like that. Your spine arches as he sucks on your sensitive nipples, letting his tongue flick across them and giving into a sweet friction. You buck your hips up against instinctively, gripping onto the sheets as your sense of restlessness grows.  
Your voice is whiny to your own ears but you can't calm down to save your life.  
"You're taking too long," You huff. He laughs lightly, looking up at you from underneath his lashes.  
"Don't be impatient." He tsks.  
"It's enough already," 
He shakes his head. "Nope. Still got a long ways to go. Promise you'll have me when you're ready for it, so just try and focus on feeling good."  
You make a frustrated sound. "It's embarrassing being the only one feeling good,"  
He pauses before standing up on his knees. He takes his black t-shirt off in one swift go until his torso is bare, and undoes the top button of his pants. He gives you a little glance. "Better?"  
There are too many layers of that to process in the moment it happens. You mumble. "A little,"  
He beams. "Good. Now let me take good care of you,"  
Sliding down lower, he kisses you from sternum to navel. Hands gripping at the softness of your sides, smoothing over the bare skin as he his thumb finds the waistband of your skirt. He glances up at you, silently seeking your permission. You nod back at him, watching him slide the short skirt away from your waist.  
The sudden air feels cool against your skin. He presses his cheek against your belly, both hands on your hips..  
"You're gorgeous. Even more gorgeous than I thought. I feel so lucky being able to touch you when you're this perfect.” He praises endlessly.  
You cover your face with your arm.  
"Ugh. Quit it. You're sayin' too much."  
"Seeing you get so shy when I praise you a little is so cute." He trails his lips down further and further - just above your sex before stopping. "You're so cute."  
He sits back, standing up and bending your legs slightly at the knee. You hold the position as you feel him massage your calve. Thumb drawing hard circles in the muscle, slowly working his way up to your knee. He kisses you afterwards trailing the same spot his hands were touching seconds ago before moving onto the other side.  
There's nothing you can call it short of worship. The nagging feeling that it's undeserved is washed away each time Umemiya holds your gaze.  
Devotion colors every touch no matter how small. And it’s so obvious, so prominent - it feels outright wrong to deny the fact it’s there.   
You think the closest thing you can compare it too is the way Umemiya gardens. A patience as his fingers root through earth and soil, a kindness towards delicate things that makes even hours of work under the sun look beautiful and easy. His expression is what's most uncanny - what makes you you feel so hot. 
An expression that says he loves doing it from the very bottom of his heart - not even a hint of apathy or complaint.  
A face that says he loves every long, drawn out motion and actions of repetition all fro the very core of him.  
Having it directed at making love to you so blatantly makes you more aroused than you know what to do with. You don't know how to let yourself be treated like the most cherished flower in Umemiya's garden - and you aren't so sure how you're meant to get used to it no matter how much it makes you feel...nice. You don’t have any other experience.  
Which is why you're trying to be patient. Trying to be at least temporarily secure in whatever he sees in you that makes him worship every inch of you, memorizing all your ins and outs.  
Umemiya places hot, wet kisses on your inner thigh before laying himself between your spread legs - breath barely hovering over your sex.  
By the time he gets there, you feel utterly melted into your sheets. Your mind is hazy, impatient and wanting as strong hands secure your thighs. He's so close.  
"I wanna eat you out. Is that okay?"  
"If you don't do something soon I'm gonna kill you."  
He laughs warmly. "I'll take that as a yes."  
You pause. Umemiya waits.  
"I didn't uh," You clear your throat. "Wasn't planning on getting laid so y'know. Haven't shaved in a while."  
"Were you worried that I'd change my mind? I like it for the record. Feels natural." Umemiya says. "It's your body so there's nothing I would dislike about it."  
"You're too much." You reply back in earnest. You cover your face with your arms. "So cheesy."  
"I'm being serious." He says suddenly solemn with how sincere he is. 
The sudden change is amusing. You pause before breaking into genuine giggles, unable to help yourself.  
"You're really somethin', yknow that?"  
He's quiet for a long time. Long enough for it to catch your attention, turning your gaze more clearly towards his face. Swiftly, he pushes himself up to catch your mouth in another kiss. It stuns you a bit, very different to all the rest. More teeth and tongue than lip.  
"I like you," He murmurs, forehead to yours. "How can someone be so cute?"  
"Would you quit embarrassing me and get on with it?" 
He smiles. "As you wish,"  
Umemiya settles back down between your legs after easing your panties off and putting your feet flat on the bed to give himself more access. You can barely look down at him doing it. His fingers brush the slick hairs back gentle as he uses his thumbs to spread your pussy apart and look at you more intimately.  
You can feel him. Feel his every breath and movement. He stares at you awestruck. "How is all of you so pretty? Even here it's such a beautiful color."  
"Stop looking so much,"  
He takes a breath, taking in your scent one more time before pressing a kiss to your clit. You make an attempt to squirm away from his grip as his finger dig into your thighs and hold you down. The strength of it knocks the wind out of you, forcing you into place. Umemiya pushes his tongue and gives you a long, tentative lick through the seam of your cunt.  
Your whole body breaks out into shivers at the sensation. The warm weight of his tongue on your sex makes feels like an electric current through water - your toes curling as he makes the same few passes over and over. He collects your pooling arousal on the tip as he drags upwards and flicks your clit tentatively. You grind against his face instinctually, hips chasing the pleasure. Amused laughter vibrates against your core as you do, mumbling at you to be patient while he's still face deep in it.  
You let out another pitchy whine before he finally stops teasing. He lays his tongue flat against your clit, cupping it lightly before drawing it around experimentally. He watches carefully as he plays around with pressure and angles - trying to see what makes you react the most. You can feel how closely he's watching you. 
You cover your mouth with your hand when he does find it, your voice breaking off as he licks carefully right where you need. He smiles into your cunt as he toys with your with the sensitive bundle of nerves, pleased by the change in your reactions. The obvious pleasure he's making you feel.  
Something blooms into your chest. You've never— 
"You're—" You close your eyes, hands tangling in the sheets as you break out into a fever. "Ngh, never had someone l-lick me,"  
He must've heard you because he seems to laser in his focus the minute you say it. He's lapping at your clit so deep, licking precisely and holding you with nose against your bush.  
You reach down tentatively, pushing back the hair falling in his face and he gives you a look so lovesick you want to run away. The pressure changes gradually, more intensely.  
It feels better somehow. Makes you feel restless. Your whole body curls in tight with want at the sensation of it, the lower expanse of your belly tensed. You're shaking as you drift closer to the edge, arousal upped by the wet sound of him sucking your clit.  
"Hajime," You warn, spine starting to arch as you helplessly try to pull away from the intense sensation. It's not familiar to your body, so much so your mind can barely make sense of what's happening to it, "Cumming—c-cumming!"  
Something in you goes undone as Umemiya keeps pace during your orgasm. All the tension inside of you suddenly comes loose - specks of white matter behind closed lids as you screw your eyes shut. Your back curves up into arch, your hips trembling, your insides pulsing. It comes running into you, crashing into your body as waves of pleasure drown out the noise in your head. He eats you out until you feel borderline hysterical.  
You feel melted and reshaped by him - yanking him off when he continues to be insistent after you're too oversensitive. He laughs when you pull him away, resting against your thigh as you take worn out heaving breaths.  
He kisses the inside of your knee as you calm down, bright smile on his features - painted pink with a slight flush. "You came. I'm so happy."  
You look at him in shock. "You're a scary guy."  
He pushes up to kiss your temple, voice soft. "Did I scare you?"  
Your stomach flutters, tucking your chin. "You were intense, but I didn't... hate it or anything."  
"Yeah?" He grins, pressing a few kisses to your cheek and face before whispering against your ear. "Then, is it okay to go farther?"  
You nod silently. Umemiya smiles.  
He stands up on his knees, pushing his hair back as your eyes are drawn to his pants. You reach out for the waistband of his pants unthinkingly, hooking your finger into it. "Isn't it stuffy?"  
He blinks, frozen before rubbing a hand across his face. "Ah a bit, but it's fine."  
"Take 'em off. Please?"  
Umemiya looks unusually distressed by the request, but follows through without another word. You watch him undress - revealing the tight black fabric of his boxer briefs snug against his waist. Your eyes go wide as you see the outline of his cock - head still half hazy. You voice your unfiltered reaction.  
"Your dick is so big,"  
He laughs breathlessly. "Are you trying to stir me up? What's with you?" He pauses to lay down besides you. You turn to lay on your side and face him a little better. "You're being cute. I'm not used to seeing you so docile."  
"Shaddup," You reply half-heartedly. Your body is still on fire but it knocked the wind of you to cum once already. "Your fault."  
He grins, a hint of smugness as he laughs. "That's true."  
"You gonna fuck me?"  
"Mm, yeah. Gotta open you up first or it'll hurt."  
"I've put stuff in before. Toys. Should be fine."   
"Still wanna play it safe. It's your precious first time after all."  
You make a face before pulling him into you, hugging him tight as your whole body breaks out in a shameful flush. "Then hurry up and do it already."  
His arms slide underneath where your laying, holding you to him as he hikes one of your legs up. He slides his free hand in over your leg - his forearm holding your thigh. You press your face to his neck and shoulder - hiding your expression. "Guess I should huh? You were always impatient,"  
You can barely tell him to shut up, the way your body waits for it. A warbled little noise leaves your mouth as he slides his middle finger through the sticky folds of your cunt - careful as it catches on your hole. Wet and so aroused, the first finger he puts in goes in completely smoothly with no real effort 
Umemiya speaks low and soft as he holds you. "I don't know if I can get used to seeing you like this. I'm glad no one else but me ever wil You’re really all I think about lately," He catches the lobe of your ear between his teeth gently. Your head spins. "People misunderstand you because you're prickly, you know? For a long time, only I knew what it felt like to be liked by you. I liked that,"  
"Why are you—mmgh," 
He slides another finger in carefully after the first one slides inside of you with no resistance. His voice is so hot against your skin, the low bass of it in your skull as he speaks so close to your ear.  
"Don't get me wrong I'm happy seeing you with so many people surrounding you. But I was a little sad too. And it kept getting worse over the years until I couldn’t ignore it. I couldn’t figure out why for a long time and then it clicked,” Umemiya explains. You realize half way delirious this is his real confession. God, you’re gonna kill him. “Suddenly it was all I thought about. I wanted to be special to you. I wanted to monopolize you. It was my first time having thoughts like that,”  
Another finger slides into you easily. Umemiyas fingers are so much bigger than yours. Thicker than they are long. The stretch is enough to make you gasp.  
“Hajime—“ 
He curls them up, careful until he finds the spot he’s looking for. Your body reacts, another sensation of pressure as his middle finger rubs tenderly against your gspot. You weakly try to wiggle away as he holds you firm.  
“I felt a little guilty, too. You’re my very best friend. You’re independent and diligent. Tough. But you know, when I saw you for those few months - all I could think about was how much I wanted to spoil you,” He whispers. Something in your body shifts the way touches you. Pushes in further and further - stretching until it’s easy for him to be inside. “Somehow everything I liked about you became so cute I couldn’t stand it. I couldn’t help but want to dote on you over every little thing even though I knew better than anyone you didn’t need something like that.”  
Your eyes well up but not necessarily from emotion. Totally overwhelmed. You don’t feel like you’re gonna cum but there’s something else that’s waiting and each time he thrusts his fingers into you it comes a little closer. Your voice is shaking.  
“It—fuck, quit talking. Somethings gonna—“  
His smile grows a little. It’s the first time it looks so hungry.  
“I was happy in general when I realized you liked me too. Even when you were being stubborn, I liked the way you couldn’t turn me away. I liked how happy you looked talking to me as usual as if that alone was something so precious,” He hums, so focused and precise as he stretches you open on a third finger but never once losing his train of thought. Like saying all of these comes to him so easily it doesn’t matter. “I didn’t want to corner you. But it felt like I couldn’t rest until you were mine completely. Which is why I’m being so unfair to you. Why I’m so persistent. ” 
Your voice breaks on a whine. “It’s gonna come out—“  
“You make a pretty face when your heads filled with nothing but me. I don’t think it’s bad to wanna stay that way,” He hums, almost conversational as he presses a kiss to your skin. “Go on. Let go,”  
Something hot sprays between your legs as Umemiya fucks you open on all three of his fingers.  
A rush of warm liquid squirts onto your sheets as your legs shake wearily. Umemiya marvels at the mess. Your hands curl into fists, nails digging in your palms as he finally pulls them out - leaving you stretched, almost gaping.  
You lay limp in soaked sheets as you pull away from Umemiya with a very weak glare.  
He’s smiling at you, dopey and lovesick.  
“Too much?”  
Angrily, you smack at his bare chest over and over, trying to recover your pride.  
“You’re insane. What’s,” You swallow thickly. “What’s with you.”  
He shrugs. Wordless, he flips you onto your back again before hovering over top of you. Pressing his forehead to yours, he brushes your noses together and plants a tentative peck on your lips as if trying to gauge whether or not you’re upset. He melts when you kiss him back, smiling happily.  
“Were you like this with your other girlfriends? No wonder they broke up with you,”  
He laughs. “Mm, no? I was more of a gentleman.”  
You break out into another exhausted fit of laughter.  
“Pfft, yeah? Guess I’m pretty special,” 
“Yeah. You are.” He kisses you again. “Wanna keep going or are you too tired? I don’t mind if we sleep.”  
“Stupid. I said it already didn’t I? Hurry up and fuck me.”  
“Okay, okay. Let me go get the condom from my wallet,”  
You wrap your legs around his waist and stare up at him plainly as he tries to move, keeping him pinned in place. You’re frowning, brows furrowed with a hard glare. He stares at you.  
“Did you want something else? Water?”  
“Want you to fuck me,” You restate, arms reaching up to circle around his neck. “Just do it already.” 
He pulls back to look at you seriously.  
“Do you know what you’re asking?”  
You flush. “Of course I do. Stupid. Are you trying to get me to say it out loud?”  
“I might think I’m deluding myself otherwise.”  
You sigh, looking at him flatly as you try to tamp down the part of you that’s screaming to be more tactful.  
“Don’t bother with the condom, a-alright? Or pulling out,”  
He looks like he’s experiencing the shock of his life. “But
” 
“Stop being dumb or I’m never gonna have sex with you again.”  
He nods suddenly solemn. “Fine. But,”  
You give him another look that silences him. He sighs again, getting the message before kissing your cheek and pull back to sit up on his knees between your legs. Pulling his briefs down, his cock springs free. It looks a lot bigger than you saw underneath the fabric, weighed down from it’s own weight even though it stands up stiff. He opened you up with three but you wonder if it’ll be enough not to stretch you open.  
You reach your hand out to touch it tentatively, feeling it’s weight and heft. He clears his throat but seems content to let you. The palms of your hands cup the shaft, feeling all the veins pulse. The tip is sticky with precum. You pull your hand away, another sudden wave of self consciousness overwhelming you.  
Umemiya hovers over you again, placing he length of his cock against your pussy. You shift a little feeling it slide against you, hard and hot.  
“Gonna put it in now, okay?”  
Nodding, you put your legs up. You take a deep breath when the head pushes in, letting out an involuntary noise. You feel well-stretched but the thickness of his cock is still enough to make you feel it in your legs. Umemiya is focused above you, barely sliding the tip through your folds as you open up around him. The air feels punched out of your lungs on just the first inch.  
His face is strained is he holds his hips steady, leaning down to tap your foreheads together. “Feeling okay?”  
“Mm,” You nod, wrapping your arms around his neck. “Fine. Feels different.”  
“Different?”  
“Yours is bigger than all the stuff I own,” You explain. “Feels hotter. Harder, too.”  
You feel his cock twitch inside of you suddenly, shocking you. He smiles sheepishly.  
“Gonna push in a little more, okay?”  
You nod, watching as Umemiya so slowly presses his cock into you further. Enough that it doesn’t hurt when you take him, as much as it just feels like something is inside of you. You feel a warm sense of satisfaction at how full you feel. You feel like him like he’s in your stomach, taking up so much space. After a while of pushing, stopping, and going again  - he finally bottoms out.  
“You feel incredible,” He murmurs, half-smile on his face. Your stomach flutters. “It’s hard not to cum right away. Feels so good inside of you. I love you.”  
You feel yourself twitch, frowning at the expression of delight Umemiya has. You put your hand against his fact to keep him away but he kisses your palm and moves it. Bottomed out, he grasps both hands and holds them  - pinning them to the bed as you watch him wide-eyed.  
“Think you’re used to it?” He hums, clasping your fingers together. “Is it okay if I move?”  
You feel so damn bashful. “It’s okay.” 
He kisses your forehead. “I’ll go slow.” 
As promised, Umemiya pulls out carefully before pushing back into you. You’re so wet that it slides in without any real friction. It takes a few thrusts of him going slowly for your body to get adjusted to the sensation. After a few motions, though - it starts to feel different.  
Starts to feel good. Really, really good.  
“Oh,” Your eyes flutter open. “Shit. You c-can go faster.”   
“Yeah?”  
You nod, trying not to seem too eager. 
When Umemiya picks up pace, you feel your  the whole lower half of your body weaken all over again. Something in your legs, your spine go soft against the bed underneath, a sudden unusual arousal swelling. Somewhere in deeper as he cocks thrusts against your gspot, knocking against it with more force than before. The change in pace coupled with the visual of Umemiya over you, face drawn together in focus as he fucks you is too much. Split open on his cock, you can hear how wet you are each time he moves.  
“Feels
” Your words come up empty. “’s so much.” 
“Yeah? Is it too much for you, baby?”  
You shake your head as your thoughts get increasingly cloudy. It’s like there’s nothing else your body can focus on. The way his cock drags against your sensitive, silken walls. The feeling of being full to empty and then full all over again. The way your pussy gets so much wetter each time he moves, sloppy and sucking him in so tight. You can feel your body want for him.  
Umemiya lets go of your hands, sliding one between your bodies. Palm resting on your sex, he lets his brush against your clit. The difference it makes is significant, makes your eyes go wide. He smiles a little, hair falling in his face as he pushes it up with his free hand.  
“That’s it,” He hums, contented to keep at it like this. “Feels good, right? Your holding onto me so tightly it’s hard for me to pull out even though you’re so wet.”  
You make a whiny noise and wonder if other peoples first times feel this good or if you’re just outrageously lucky. You decide on the latter he fucks you faster and matches his thrusts with the movement of his fingers. You’re warm all over - skin scorching as your hands find his biceps and shoulders to cling onto.  
Your voice is so whiny when you call out for him “You’re so deep, ngh.”  
He laughs, deep and raspy. “Yeah? Tell me what you’re feeling,”  
“It feels good when you’re in me.” You reply drunkenly. “Want it faster. Please,”  
He complies with your request almost immediately. You cry out loud, physically incapable of holding the sound in as he gets to fucking you faster and harder. Your pussy is throbbing. Senselessly horny, you pull Umemiya closer to you as he fucks you and smash your lips together. You feel so good, so thoroughly fucked and completely out of it. He’s in you but you want him even closer, want the scent of his skin to mark you.  
A second time your body builds up to that familiar feeling but it’s so much farther inside. An orgasm pulled right from your core. Stomach tied in knots as Umemiya fucks you hard, you wrap your legs around his waist and take him. 
“That’s it. You’re so good. Cum on my cock, sweet girl. Let me feel it” He murmurs against your skin, holding you close. “You’re making me feel so good. So cute. Go ahead, it’s okay. Let me see how good I’m making you feel.”  
Pliant to his request, you hold onto Umemiya for dear life as your body gives into second orgasm. Your nails dig into his biceps as the built up arousal gives way pleasure - and you cum hard with his cock sheathed all the way inside of you. All the wind gets stolen from your lungs as you press forward with another kiss, your whole body trembling violently as you let go.  
Umemiya sweet talks you through without letting go once, only stopping to take a pause when you’ve fully ridden out your high.  
You stare up at him in a daze as he takes a breather to kiss you, still hard as he’s bottomed out inside of you.  
“You gonna cum soon?”  
“Mm,” He nods. “Yeah I’m close. If I move, I will.”  
“’s okay to cum in me,”  
Umemiya laughs warmly. “I’m already about too. You’re not helping,”  
You smile a bit as you hug him close to you and tell him again that it’s fine. Before long, he holds you too, whispering the same three words into your neck as he finally lets it out. It’s a weird feeling, thick white ropes of seed spilling into the deepest parts of you.  
You don’t really hate it, though.  
“I love you,” Umemiya repeats. Tired you don’t try to fight yourself.  
“Love you too,”  
__ 
The next morning, you’re stirred away by the sound of your front door unlocking and the sound of Kotoha’s voice echoing through your apartment.  
You’re still half-way asleep, so it barely dawns on you that anything is off. Not cognizant enough to think twice, your body tries to go back to sleep.  
Or it does until you hear a very loud shout coming from your kitchen that wakes you up with a start.  
“No fucking way,”  
You sit up suddenly, hearing faint conversation before the sound of steps barreling towards your door. You just barely manage to pull the sheets up over your chest before she comes storming through the door of your bedroom.  
You watch her eyes scan your entire room, mentally collecting data before she finally lands on you. As your brain starts to load back in, your eyes go wide with horror at the look of pure scandal on her face.  
Fuck. You were supposed to be having dinner with her and Tsubaki tonight. Usually you confirm with them in the mornings since your up. It’s not uncommon for her to drop in when you don’t reply to check in since you live close by. 
Fuck.  
“You—Oh, I have to text Tsubaki-chan, I can’t believe—“  
Before she gets to finish her sentence, Umemiya appears behind her in your door way. The sight of him only adds fuel to the flame of your embarrassment. You went another round or two before bed last night and it looks like it too. Shirtless in sweats he left over a while ago, his biceps are covered in scratch and with a few hickies, he’s wearing his hair down with a cup of tea and a very apologetic smile.  
You cover your face with your hands unsure of how to deal with the feeling of pure mortification.  
Kotoha snaps a picture of your room that causes even more distress.  
“If you don’t delete that right now, I’m gonna kill us both.”  
“In your dreams.”  
Umemiya laughs warmly. “Please don’t kill each other.”  
He slides past Kotoha coming over to you. Bending down to kiss your forehead, he pulls the blanket up over you so you’re more well-covered. You give him an incredulous but Umemiya is unfazed - smiling as bright as ever. 
“Good morning,”  
“I can’t believe my eyes,” Kotoha says. She points at Umemiya. “You, go put on a shirt.”  
“Fine, fine. Stay for breakfast,” Umemiya says with a smile. “It’ll be nice having it with my two favorite people.”  
You make another face as Umemiya gives you a long, affectionate look before disappearing. She sighs as she looks at you, pinching the bridge of her nose.  
“I would ask if you’re gonna meet us for dinner but you don’t have a choice anymore so show up at seven. I’m gonna leave before that tactless idiot comes back. We’ll talk later.”  
You nod in understanding. She turns to leave but then turns back with a genuine smile.  
“And, well - congrats. He’s a tactless idiot but he does love you or whatever. Cherish each other,”  
You flush, nodding your head. “Yeah
thanks.”  
With that Kotoha leaves quickly. Umemiya returns still shirtless, pouting a little when he notices she’s gone.  
“She left already?”  
“Of course she did. I can’t believe you would invite her for breakfast.”   
Umemiya shrugs. “No point being coy about it. I thought it’d be nice. I was looking for a shirt but I guess I don’t need one now,” He sits besides you on the bed, turning to face with a goofy smile. “Anyways, good morning.”  
“You already said that.”  
“You didn’t say it back,”  
You frown. “G’morning,”  
He smiles suddenly  before grabbing you from underneath the blankets and sheets - pulling your naked body ontop of him as he grins. Sunlight pours through the window as he holds you to his chest, kissing the crown of your head before pressing his cheek into your hair.  
“Mm, yeah. It’s a really good morning after all.”  
“You’re stupid.”  
“And you love me,”  
You fail trying not to smile.  Damn him. You're so happy it hurts. You roll your eyes.
“I guess so.”  
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iiwontgiveuponmilkk · 1 year ago
Text
I Hate You. | F.W.
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summary: They had been friends since the moment they met, but what happens when she falls in love with him and he seems to blind to notice?
pairing: fred weasley x fem!reader
word count: 5718
warning(s): ends in smut
notes: I have not posted in quite some time, nor have I wrote anything in a long time. I tried to avoid the use of y/n. Fred calls her 'little red' or 'red' ocassionally, this is explained in the writing.
masterlist
Six years of friendship. Six years of falling for Fred Weasley, really. If she were to be honest with herself, she knew she loved him two years ago. It was just easier to ignore as a 15 year old girl. She initially tried to write it off as just feeling that way because they were so close already, but she knew that wasn’t true. She was just as close with his twin brother, George, and she wasn’t in love with him. Fred was different. They knew each other on a different level. They could be overly affectionate with each other. When she saw him at the platform this year, she ran to him and jumped into his arms and stayed there despite George whining that he hadn’t seen her in just as long. On the train ride, she fell asleep with her head in his lap whilst he and George started scheming their first prank of the school year. He would hush George any time she would start to stir, then gently play with her hair until she settled again. She had fallen asleep on George’s shoulder once, and swore to never do it again. Whilst he was also one of her best friends, he did not hold the same kind of soft spot for her as his twin did. He had used a spell to turn her hair bright green. She was livid when she realised. Poor George was afraid to turn his back to her for the next four months. She had waited six months for her revenge, perfecting the same colour changing spell, but turning all of his clothes pink. 
Now at 17, her feelings were harder to hide. The pangs of jealousy at every Gryffindor party after a quidditch match when girls would shamelessly flirt with him. And he seemed to love it. Tonight was another one of those nights. Gryffindor had destroyed Slytherin on the quidditch pitch and were, of course, throwing their usual celebration. She sat next to George and Angelina on the couch, her eyes following Fred. Her gaze only left him as Julie came up to him and was heavily laying on the charm. She felt the jealousy bubbling in her like a failed potion about to go horribly wrong. She felt George shift and wrap an arm around her shoulder, giving her a slight squeeze. “Love, why don’t you talk to him?” Angelina asked, reaching over George to squeeze her hand. Her gaze moved from her knees to her two friends, a heavy sigh leaving her lips. “I couldn’t possibly talk to him about this, Ang. I’d tell him everything and feel like an absolute git after.” She admitted, letting out another huff. George shook his head, opening his mouth to speak but quickly closing it. Ever since the start of the year, she had grown closer to George and his girlfriend, Angelina. Unfortunately, closer than she was with Fred. They were definitely still close, but something was different between them this year. And it wasn’t that she was head over heels in love with him. It was him that was keeping a distance between the two of them. Every year, she sat with them at the Gryffindor table. Her Ravenclaw robes made her stick out like a sore thumb in the sea of red, but Fred and George were her best friends. In fact, she only ever sat at her own houses’ table a handful of times. The sorting ceremony, the last day, and that couple of months last year when Fred had a girlfriend who absolutely hated her. She had friends in Ravenclaw, but she wasn’t as close to anyone as she was with Fred. George was a close second, but her and Fred always just clicked. They clicked from the first train ride to Hogwarts they ever had. They were nearly inseparable. If Fred wasn’t with George, he was with her, or they were all together. She spent a few weeks with the Weasley’s every summer. Molly was like her second mother at this point. She loved spending time with all of them. She loved answering all of Arthur’s questions about the muggle world. She loved hanging out with Ginny, the only other girl around her age in the Weasley household. It was usually the highlight of her summer.
A loud cheering pulled her attention away from her two friends as they all turned to the source of the noise. It felt like her heart shattered into dust. Don’t cry. Do not cry. Not here. “I-, I have to go.” She quickly stammered, slipping away from her friends and blinking back tears. There he was. Fingers tangled in Julie’s hair, kissing her passionately. She tried to keep her head down as she pushed towards the door. She knew better, but she looked up anyway. Another stab to the heart. Her tear-filled gaze met the eyes of Fred Weasley. Fred Weasley, best friend, heartbreaker. She tore her gaze from his and moved as quickly as she could without running. She pushed out of the door, finally letting a tear fall as the door shut behind her. She could’ve swore she heard George yelling at his twin as she stepped out, but she could be wrong. She stood in the hall for a moment, unsure of what to do. Her feet were moving before she registered that she was moving. She knew Fred, she knew he would try to come after her. He was her best friend, after all. Part of her wished he would push through the door, catch up to her and wrap her in his arms. The other part of her, the hurt, told her to stop hoping he would feel the same way. Though, he would ask George what happened first, which bought her some time, yet not enough to get to her common room before he caught up with her. Even if she ran, he could easily catch up to her. Before she knew it, she was standing in the middle of the hall, watching the door to the room of requirements take shape. She heard him calling her name, and heard his footsteps. She didn’t want him to see her like this, not right now. Not when it was so fresh. She shouldn’t be crying. They were only friends, she was the one hopelessly in love with him. She reached for the doorknob, sliding into the room and quickly shutting the door behind her. Merlin, please let the door disappear before he gets down here. She slid down the wall next to the door. How absolutely foolish could she be? Her and Fred would never happen. It was clear at this point. She was terrified that if she told him how she felt, it would ruin their friendship. Not only would she be heartbroken, but she would lose her best friend too. 
She had no idea how long she sat there for. Maybe an hour? Maybe two? It took nearly another hour before she gathered the courage to leave. Even if he had seen her, she doubted he would’ve waited for her. Maybe two years ago, but not now. Not with this weird distance between them. Definitely not after close to three hours of her hiding. She could still confidently say that Fred was her best friend, but it was different. It wasn’t like before. They weren’t joined at the hip anymore. This summer made that clear. She spent most of her time with Ginny and Molly. The few times they had spent together went from comfortable and playful to awkward. There were moments when it felt like he may also feel the same way about her, but he always seemed to pull away a little more after. She could’ve sworn he was going to kiss her one night, her heart felt like it was beating in her throat. But he just cleared his throat and awkwardly scratched the back of his head as he took a step back from her. Maybe she should’ve just kissed him then, and let whatever would happen just happen. At least she would’ve known how he felt. She might have lost her best friend, but she wouldn’t constantly feel this hurt and jealousy. 
 She pressed on the wall, waiting for the door to appear to make her exit. She slowly pushed the door open, only then realising she should have left from the other side of the room. There he was. That beautiful, heartbreaking idiot. His head leaned back against the wall, mouth slightly open as he slept. She realised she really had been in there for much longer than she thought and it was a miracle Fred hadn’t been found by Filch or Mrs. Norris. She kneeled in front of him, resting her hands on his knees. “Freddie.” She whispered lightly, pushing against his knees to hopefully wake him, but she knew he could sleep through the whole castle crumbling to the ground. “Freddie!” She whisper-yelled, shaking him harder, earning a groan from him. “Fred Gideon Weasley, get up before Filch comes and kills us both!” She whispered harshly, causing Fred to finally open his eyes. His sleepy gaze quickly turned to a soft look when he took her in. She knew her eyes had to be slightly puffy and her nose was red. It always turned red after she cried, and she hated it. She also hated that Fred always knew when she was upset or had been crying, and he always knew exactly how to make her feel better. Whether she needed a hug, or to be held, or if he needed to go to ridiculous measures just to make her laugh. Fred reached out and pulled her to him, stretching his legs out so she was in his lap. She fell forward against him as he hugged her. She let her head rest against his chest, feeling tears threaten to fill her eyes again. “C’mon little red.” He whispered, moving to get up. “I don’t have red hair.” She mumbled, she didn’t know where the nickname had come from. Fred had just started calling her it one day. The only answer for why she ever got was that she was now an honorary Weasley and she was tiny. It used to annoy her to no end, which is probably why it stuck. Fred loved getting reactions out of her, because even if something annoyed her when it came to him, she secretly loved it. It was like he knew it.
She walked next to him, keeping her head down. She watched her feet as she walked. She wasn’t paying attention, she just let him lead the way. She figured they would go to his dorm. It was the closest and safest bet. The chances of not getting caught on the way to her common room were slim to none. It was way too late to even consider being out of the common room, everyone was most likely asleep by now. She knew they were entering the Gryffindor common room. The Fat Lady had long ago stopped putting up a fight about her being snuck into the common room after hours. It happened so often that it wasn’t worth it. She didn’t bother to look up, just followed Fred to the stairs. The floor was a mess and she was afraid to look up. She didn’t want to relive her most recent memory in this room. She followed Fred into his dorm, noting that it was empty. He shared a room with George and Oliver Wood. Neither of the other two boys were here. She stood there silently as Fred moved around. He pulled out a jumper and handed it to her, turning around for her to change. The normalcy of this pained her. She knew Fred had seen her almost completely naked. He had stayed with her when she was sick last year. She had a fever that wouldn’t break and she had stripped out of her shirt and pyjama shorts in her sleep- with Fred sharing the same bed. She pulled the jumper over her head before pulling her jeans off. The jumper hung down to her knees, Fred was nearly a foot taller than her, if not more. She didn’t say anything as she climbed into his bed, only huffing as she rolled over to face away from him. 
She felt his weight as he slid into his bed, turning to face her back. “George told me what happened. She kissed me, and I didn’t
” He whispered so quietly she could barely hear him. Her whole body seemed to tense as she registered what he said. Of course George told him. Bloody hell. She felt Fred’s hand brush over her arm. He grabbed her shoulder, gently trying to turn her to him. She fought him on it, but it was no use. He was stronger than she was, no matter how determined she was to keep her back to him. “You know you can tell me anything. Hell, you’re my best friend.” Fred whispered, his eyes on her face. She stared at the ceiling, feeling tears well in her eyes again. “That’s the problem, Freddie. I’m your best friend.” Her whisper was soft, not trusting herself to speak without starting to cry again. “And I hate it.” She finished, closing her eyes tightly to press the tears back. She could still feel his eyes on her, but she knew she couldn’t look at him. She knew she would break. She knew he would hold her until she either calmed down or fell asleep. Merlin’s beard, they were more than just friends. Friends don’t do this. Friends don’t share a bed. Friends don’t sleep in nothing but the others jumper and their underwear and cuddle. Friends don’t wake up wrapped in each other's arms. Friends don’t cling to each other the way they usually do. She loved George like a brother, he was one of her closest friends. Her and George are not friends like she and Fred are. She felt a tear squeeze its way from her eye. She let out a shaky sigh as she felt Fred brush it away with his thumb. He pulled her into him and she hated him for it. She hated him at that moment. She hated that he made her hurt, but he was the only one that could make her feel better. A sob escaped her lips as the tears began to fall. “I hate you. I hate that you’re so damn oblivious to me. All I am is your best friend and I’ve been in love with you for two years, you idiot.” She cried into his chest. He cradled her head with one arm and pulled her closer with the other, holding her there as she cried. “I’m sorry, Red, I-i didn’t know.” He held her tighter, placing a kiss on the top of her head. His fingers drew circles on her back as her cries slowly stopped. He hadn’t realised she had fallen asleep until her grip on his shirt slowly loosened.
She woke up pressed to Fred’s chest and her legs tangled in his. His fingers were drawing slow shapes on her side. God she was still so hurt. The image of him kissing Julie replaying in her head. She went to pull away from him, only to be pulled against him tighter. “Let me go.” She mumbled, pushing against him again. “No can do, doll.” He mumbled back. “I still hate you.” She bit back, trying her best to ignore the comfort she felt being pressed against. “You don’t mean that.” His voice was gentle. He was used to her little fits. She had told him multiple times over the years that she hated him. The first time when he accidentally broke her brand new quill that her father had sent her as a gift when she found a new hobby of writing. It was their second year. He had saved up anything he could get until Christmas that year to buy her the same one. She had cried then too, but those were happy tears. She had told him she hated him the day he told her that he couldn’t come see her that summer, that was year three. Then she wrote to his mother and asked if she could come there to see him and George. Of course, Molly said yes. She was so delighted to finally meet the twin’s best friend. She was glad they finally had someone to level out their antics, but that didn’t last long. They were always up to something. She had told him three times in year four that she hated him. Once was when he had her pinned down and was mercilessly tickling her. She gasped it out between laughs. She even used his full name. He couldn’t help but smile, only to stop tickling when she rushed out that she was going to pee her pants if he didn’t stop. But he kept jumping at her, pretending he was going to tickle her again. The second time was when he was dating Hannah. They had gotten into a fight, screaming at each other. She was sad because she felt like she was losing Fred as a friend because Hannah hated her. And he called her bitter and jealous that she had never had a boyfriend. It was then that she told him she hated him. He could see the hurt in her eyes. That was the first time it truly hurt when she said she hated him. It felt like she meant it that time. The third time was towards the end of the year. They had made up and were thicker than thieves once again. She had conned him into going to the library to study. He was messing around the whole time and trying to make her laugh. He took it a little too far, accidentally hitting her inkwell. It shot across the table, they both moved to catch it and they both missed. It had spilled all over her skirt. She said she hated him then and told him he was lucky he was her best friend, otherwise he’d have to buy her a new skirt. Last year, year five, there were odd bits of distance between them, but when he thought about it, they weren’t odd. They were distant every time he had a girlfriend or was chasing after some girl. He had been slightly jealous of George since last year. She seemed to latch on to him, but it all made sense. She was distancing herself to protect herself and George was there for her, probably to tell her that Fred was an idiot and he’d come around one day. 
“Look at me.” He said as he rolled on to his side, sliding her off his chest. She stared at his chest, not meeting his gaze. “I am.” She mumbled and he had to stop himself from rolling his eyes. Her full name left his lips as he gently pushed her chin up to force her to look at him, but she kept her eyes trained on his chest. “I swear, you are so stubborn that I wonder how you weren't sorted into Gryffindor.” She looked up at him, eyes narrowed. “What Fred? What do you want? I don’t care if she kissed you. You didn’t have to kiss her back.” She bit out. He had to hide his smirk. If she wasn’t so upset with him, he knew she would’ve rolled her eyes and made a ridiculous comment on how she was surprised he wasn’t sorted into Slytherin. He suddenly missed her jests, wishing he could rewind to before the party. George had told him that someone they knew was pining after him. He just didn’t think it would be his best friend. But then again, how could it not be? They spent most of their time together, either alone or with George. If he wasn’t with George, he was with her. People often commented on them acting like a couple. Fred would walk her to class, arm slung around her shoulder. “I’m an idiot-” He started, only to be cut off by her. “I know you are. You’re the biggest idiot I know.” She tried to hold her glare, fighting a small smile. “C’mon, little red, let me finish.” He raised his brow as she opened her mouth to talk then closed it. She let out a sigh, waiting for him to continue. “You say I’m the biggest idiot you know, which may be true. But I’m the most handsome idiot you know.” He paused as a small smile tugged at her lips. “I’m an idiot, I’m sorry. You could’ve just told me. Could’ve said ‘hey, you big, handsome, idiot, I love you’.” He paused again, reaching up and tucking her hair behind her ear. “I would’ve said, ‘hey, little red, I love you too’.”
“Stop calling me that.” she mumbled and Fred let out an exasperated noise. He noticed the small smile playing on her lips. “I still hate you, at least for the next five minutes.” Her voice was much softer this time. “You’re so stubborn.” he mumbled, smiling when he felt her fingers grasp his shirt. “And you’re an idiot for not kissing me.” She mumbled, her gaze still locked with his. He slowly leaned in, his nose brushing hers as her eyes fluttered shut. “I’ve never kissed anyone before.” She whispered as he leaned in. Her lips just barely brushing his as she spoke. He paused for a moment. He knew she had never dated anyone, but he didn’t think she had never kissed anyone before. He closed the gap, gently kissing her. The kiss was slow and soft, until she took him by surprise when she nipped his bottom lip. He groaned, pulling her flush against him as he deepened the kiss. “Never kissed anyone before, unbelievable.” He mumbled against her lips. She pulled on his shirt in a futile attempt to get closer than they already were. It was when she slid her hand up her chest and around his shoulder up to his hair that the door to his dorm opened. He reluctantly broke the kiss, looking up to see George standing in the doorway. “Well, I was coming to tell you that no one has seen our little friend here since last night, but I see you’re snogging her.” George grins. You roll over at his comment, turning to look at him. George winks at you and then turns his attention back to Fred. “I am now obligated to help her hide your body, doesn’t matter that you’re my brother.” George states, causing her to laugh.
“George, leave. Please.” Fred groans. “I think he should stay. This is fun. Hey, Georgie, isn’t Fred the biggest idiot you know?” She asks, smiling sweetly at Fred. “That’s likely!”
After George had left, they spent the entire morning in bed. Fred stealing kisses from her when she wasn’t dozing back off. “Freddie?” She whispered, curled into his side, her head laying on his chest. He hummed an acknowledgement. “Did you mean it?” She asked, her fingers grasping his shirt again. A small chuckle came from him as he squeezed her to him. “I love you, I have for some time. You’re also my best friend and I didn’t want to lose you.” He said, placing a kiss on the top of her head. “I love you, you big, handsome idiot.” She said as she lifted her head to look at him. “Don’t think I won’t ask George to help hide your body.” She grinned as he laughed. 
The rest of the year seemed to breeze by. Two months of Fred pulling her into random broom closets between classes and sneaking into the room of requirements before curfew. Countless nights spent in there, hidden away among the mess. Before she knew it, everyone was packing and getting ready to leave for the summer. 
“Fred, I’m too tired, carry me.” She whined as he gently woke her when the train finally stopped at the station. He let out a sigh as George laughed at him, shaking his head. She was going to the Weasley’s for the summer as her parents were away until November. She sat up, rubbing her eyes, looking up at Fred. “After we get off the train, then I’ll think about it.” He reached a hand out to her, helping her up. The journey to the Weasley’s was rather quick. They travelled through the floo system. She dramatically collapsed into Fred’s arms when they got back. “So tired.” she mumbled. “You’re going to kill me.” He laughed, picking her up. This wasn’t entirely unusual for the two of them. Everyone was used to Fred and her clinging to each other. Molly would often give Fred a knowing look when she would walk into the den, finding her sleeping with her head in his lap or curled up against him. Molly also knew that, most nights, if she were to peek into Fred’s room, she would find the two of them together. She often heard them talking in loud whispers and trying to hide their laughter in the middle of the night. It didn’t dawn on her that only a handful of them knew they were together, not until George opened his mouth. “Hey ma, did you know that Freddie has a girlfriend?” A groan left Fred as he stared his twin down. She buried her face in his chest, trying to ignore the slew of reactions from the older Weasleys. Molly was utterly delighted, commenting on how she was surprised that it took this long.
The days seemed to fly by spending them in the Weasley household. Lots of stolen kisses and sneaking around. It wasn't until mid-July that her and Fred were alone in the house together. Everyone had gone out for one reason or another and it was just the two of them. They spent the morning in Fred’s bed, tangled together. She was constantly falling back asleep and Fred was just content to hold her. It wasn’t until she was the one to lean up and kiss him that the day seemed to take a slight turn. They had shared a bed countless times, kissing had almost turned into more countless times as well. But this kiss was needy and built a fire in the both of them. She started the kiss. It was soft, loving at first. Then she nipped his bottom lip and a groan left his lips. His fingers dug into her hips, the feeling giving her the courage she needed in the moment. She moved to straddle him. His hand pushed up the jumper she stole from him, revealing her bare thighs. She really would be the death of him. She never seemed to wear pants. Just his shirt and a pair of panties, she was a constant tease seemingly unknowing to the fact. The kiss was still innocent enough, until she ground her hips down on his. The almost whiny moan that left her lips had him flipping them over. His lips trailed down her neck, nipping and sucking at the skin, most likely leaving marks in his wake. The sounds that left her lips were driving him wild. “You’re killing me.” He mumbled against her neck. His hands slid around her body. He gripped her hips before sliding a hand up her shirt. His fingers pinched and rolled her nipple, a lewd moan leaving her lips. 
“Freddie, please.” She whined, pushing her hips up against his for any sort of friction. She tugged at his shirt, pulling it up until he reached up to pull it over his head. He leaned down, capturing her lips with his. She deepened the kiss, swiping her tongue against his bottom lip. He still found it hard to believe she had never kissed anyone before him. Not when she kissed him like this. She continued to grind her hips against his, moaning into the kiss. Her hands slid down his chest, her fingers hooking under the waistband of his pyjamas pants. She started to push them down when Fred broke this. “Baby-” He started only to be cut off by her leaning up and kissing him again. He knew she was virgin, while he may not be, he didn’t want her to feel like she had to do this. He was content just being with her. “Freddie, please. I want you. I-,” She paused, looking up to meet his eyes. “I want you to be my first.” Her breathy proclamation almost made him groan, but it was her reaching down and palming him through his pants that made a groan fall from his lips. Fred reached for the hem of her shirt, pulling it off and tossing it on the floor. His eyes dragged over her body. She was perfect. “So pretty, baby.” He groaned, she would’ve thought he was talking to himself until his eyes met hers. His hands slid from her hips and over her stomach before he leaned down, kissing down her neck to her navel. It was then that her nerves started to build up. His lips pressed to her hip as he looked up at her. “If you want to stop, we will. At any point, baby.” He nipped at her hip as he pulled her panties down. She felt her cheeks flush, suddenly feeling exposed. Fred’s hands sliding up her legs seemed to calm her nerves. He pressed a kiss to her knee first, then trailed kisses down her inner thigh. It was the kiss that he placed closest to her sex that had the first moan falling from her lips. She gasped when she felt his tongue against her clit. He slowly added more pressure as he worked her clit. She didn't know how much more she could take, every pass of his tongue on her was overwhelming. Her hips bucked into his face. She was sure if she wasn’t so consumed by the building warmth in her abdomen that she would have been embarrassed. His name fell from her lips as he slowly worked a finger into her. His pace was painfully slow but every move made her feel like he already knew her body better than she ever could. It wasn’t until he worked a second finger into her and sucked her clit between his lips that she felt like she was falling apart. His name left her lips in succession until all she could do was moan. She moved her hips against his fingers, riding out her orgasm. 
“Please, Freddie, I need you inside of me.” She let out a breathy whine. This girl would really be the death of him. He turned his head, leaving a hickey on the inside of her thigh. His lips were on hers in an instant. When she reached to push his pants down, this time he let her. He deepened the kiss, running his tongue along her bottom lip. He slipped his tongue against hers, taking his time kissing her. He ground into her, sliding his dick through her folds. He teased her with his tip before gently pushing into her. She gasped into his mouth, her body tensing at the intrusion. “Relax, baby, okay?” He whispered, kissing her jaw. He didn’t move his hips, but his hand snaked between them. His thumb pressed against her clit, causing another gasp to leave her lips. He continued to toy with her clit as she looked up at him. The look in her eyes as a quiet moan fell from her lips had his resolve wavering. It was when the next breathy moan fell from her lips that she took him by surprise. She pushed her hips up, taking more of him in. His ministrations continued as he tried to ease any of her discomfort with pleasure. She rolled her hips into his, fucking herself like she had done on his fingers. Fred moved his other hand to her hip, holding her hips in place. It was then that he pushed into her until she took all of him in. He pressed a kiss to her forehead, her nose, then her lips. The kiss was slow, gentle as he gave her time to adjust. She broke the kiss, brushing her nose against his. “Freddie.” His name left her lips in a breathy moan as she pushed against him. His thrusts were shallow at first, his forehead resting against hers. They moved slowly together, quiet moans falling from her lips. His name fell from her lips as he thrusted into her harder, faster. Her hands ran up his back, her nails digging into his skin as she gripped his shoulders. “O-oh, Freddie.” She gasped, tilting her head up to press her lips to his. She could feel her orgasm building again when he slid a hand between them, pressing his thumb to her clit. Fred could feel himself getting close to the edge. 
“Fuck, baby, cum for me.” He groaned against her skin. His thumb pressed into her clit harder, circling until she threw her head back. His name fell from her lips, her nails digging into his back. The feeling of her walls clenching and spasming around him as she came sent him over the edge. Her name fell from his lips as he pressed his forehead to hers. “I love you, Freddie.” Her voice was a whisper. She leaned up to steal a quick kiss from his lips before he could speak. “I love you.” He mumbled between kisses. 
They spent the next few hours tangled in each other, whispering sweet nothings, and her dozing off a few times. Fred woke her when he heard the first noises in the den below. Fred scrambled to find his clothes as she waltzed around his room to find hers. She pulled on a pair of leggings and his jumper. Her fingers slid across his sides as he pulled his shirt on. She wrapped her arms around him, pressing herself against him. His arms snaked around her, placing a kiss on the top of her head.
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crepezinhos · 2 months ago
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I have to say I really fell in love on your writting. I just discovered you by the Check mate(? Fic and oh- i can't read any other fics now... I beg you to keep writting new ideas or continue your stories (I really would like to see another part of 'Purity' just if it's possible). Thank you for feeding us well â˜șïžâœšïžđŸŽ€
Innocent Lesson
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(REQUEST #7) POV: At one point in Scaramouche’s life, when he was still an absurdly innocent creature, completely unaware of how humans worked, he learned what was sex and how to do it with someone. How was that moment like for poor, little Kabukimono that didn’t even know how to pick something with his hands?
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⚠ WARNINGS:
— This is a NSFW piece
— Reader is FEMALE and uses SHE/HER pronouns
— Kabukimono has no sexual knowledge at all but this does not mean I’m trying to make him 'more childish' in any way.
— Sub!Virgin!Scara
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“Y/N-sama
” You heard the puppet call you from behind in a particular low, embarrassed voice tone.
Kabukimono, or Kabuki-kun just for you, was a hard thing to explain. He was a puppet prototype that was abandoned in the Shakkei Pavillion that really resembled normal male human being. It was still pretty obvious that he wasn’t really one since he was so incredibly stupid and unaware of the world around him worked, to a point where he didn’t know how to swallow water, although he really tries to be associated with one. This weird behavior of him made most men in the furnace where you work naturally reach into the conclusion that you should be the one responsible for him just because you were the only ‘mother figure’ that he could have in the place for being the only woman there. Eventually you two became friends rather than family and he started living with you in your apartment, which helped you quickly learn the pattern of his obvious behaviors.
That specific voice tone usually meant that he had an embarrassing question to ask you. You were used to them, although they could be troubling to answer sometimes. Like, how are you supposed to teach him the concept of breathing to him and why do humans do it? At least, the intelligence of his questions would improve the more he learned about the world around him, so you were never once annoyed by these questions.
“Yes?” You answered as you turned around to look at him and stopped folding some clothes that had just finished drying in your house on top of your bed.
“I
 I have a question
” He initiated as expected, but didn’t have a lot of courage to continue. “Do you promise to not make fun of me like the other miners did?” He asked in pure need of reassurance, his cheeks going pink as he rubbed his hands together in the corner of the room’s door.
“Yeah! What is it?” You asked excited, putting your hands in your knees to make sure he knew you were paying attention to him.
But he didn’t say anything back to you. Kabukimono actually seemed to be really troubled to get his words out of his mouth despite your approval. It was written all over his face that he was embarrassed about it, which made you decide to simply wait for him.
And while biting his own inferior lip and avoiding eye contact, he finally breathed in and out and used a hand and his eyes to point right at something in you.
“What are those..?” He asked, and your eyes instinctually followed where his finger was pointing at, only to realize he was shamelessly pointing at the trough of your breasts.
“Oh..!” You reacted, a little taken aback, but still willing to answer his question as you used your own hands to point at your breasts too. “These..?” You asked, holding back a giggle in the back of your throat.
“Y-Yes
 those two
 things
” He finally found courage to refer to your breasts with an actual name.
You couldn’t help but break your little promise to him, using a hand to cover your giggling mouth.
“H-Hey! You promised you wouldn’t laugh!” He instantly protested at your laughter.
“Sorry, sorry
” You quickly swallowed all the remaining giggles down your throat as and moved your hands back to your breasts. “You really mean these?” You groped both your breasts softly, genuinely trying to understand him.
“Yes
 those... the other forgers call them b-
 boogs..?” He made another question, but his own little knowledge made him get too embarrassed to make eye contact with you or your breasts again, almost fully hiding his body behind the wall.
“They’re called boobs, but you can also call them breasts, honkers
 whatever you like! The forgers can easily tell you all the possible names for these if you ask them
” You explained with a smile, trying to get him more comfortable with his own curiosity.
“W-Why do they have so many names..? And why don’t I have them?!” He asked, exposing his full face out of the corner of the door and beginning to get inside the room. His curiosity was too much for him to keep hiding himself.
“Because only girls have them! They are made to feed babies when they’re still too young.” You continued your explanation, making Kabuki’s eyes open more and more the more information you revealed to him, and also making his slow walk towards you more confidently.
“Feed babies..? B-But how?” He asked, kneeing right in front of you, his face already leaning the closest it could to your breasts as if he was trying to figure out how they looked like.
You gently grabbed his chin and pulled it upwards so he could stare at you instead of your breasts. Although you knew there was no bad intentions inside that empty head of his, you still didn’t feel comfortable with a male creature that close to them, especially one that was almost like a male human being. At least he didn’t mind your command and allowed his head to rise until his eyes met yours again.
“You know how babies need to drink a lot of milk when they’re still newborns? To make that an easier task to do, the female body produces and stores a good amount of milk inside them on their own for when they have babies, so that’s why they are this big! Uh
 do you know what a nipple is?” You asked a little embarrassed, after all the topic of the conversation was really weird, but at least a Kabukimono was hearing your words very attentively and respectfully and nodded very excited for more. “Yeah, so, the babies get that milk by sucking it out of them with their mouths! Makes sense, doesn’t it?” You explained it all, a little proud of your own basic knowledge about your own kind of body, using a few hand gestures to emphasize the core parts of your explanation.
“Oh, wow
 I thought babies had to drink milk from cows
 but what if you don’t ever have a baby..?” He rose his upper body back to normal, a little worried at that piece that seemed out of the place in that newest puzzle you were giving to him as he fidgeted his own hands again.
“Well
 they’ll just forever exist in my body then!” You giggled at the silliness of your own answer.
“Hm
” He looked away for a second, trying to piece all that new information together in is head. “And how do they look..?” That question made your eyes widen a little.
Did he really just ask you to show your boobs to him?
Poor Kabukimono
 he was so unaware of the absurdity of what he just said... Not because you found it rude or wrong, but because you two were never intimate in that way. You never even thought about being more than friends with the boy.
“Oh, c’mon, show them to me! It can’t be bad anyway!”
A tie formed in your throat. Although his goofy grin reassured you that he really wasn’t a pervert, you couldn’t help but make you remember some unpleasant flashbacks. Being the only woman working in the furnace has its many bad sides, and one of the mains ones includes the forgers themselves. All the people working in the furnace made the sacrifice of leaving the town of Inazuma, where most people and the Archon resides, and probably their families too, just to work on the mines. To make things worse, Tatarasuna is a completely distant island with no other civilization rather than those mines, so everyone in there is unfortunately very far from any other kind of people in Inazuma. That means you are literally the only woman in the area that those men see, which also means they all look up to you when hormones starts acting up on them.
A guy asking you out for a ‘drink’ was a daily thing to you now, and most of these really just had the intentions of having a night of sex with you. Most of the times you rejected them. Only a few ones got a ‘yes’ out of you, but that would usually end up in other men asking you why did you reject them or praising the man for sleeping with you it while you got no sort of celebration and even insulted for being ‘easy to fuck’. These many disappointments led you to stop hanging out with the men in there and even start viewing them negatively in that sexual way, locking all those needs that you had in a deep corner of your heart that are only released when you use your fingers to pleasure yourself.
But for some reason, you don’t feel that nervous and repulsive with Kabukimono asking that at all, who was probably the man that had done the most absurd request to you yet. Actually, you always viewed him as a friend or a miracle that happened to fall right in your arms, so you never thought of him like a lover, or someone that could see you naked in the first place.
But why thinking about him as one of those now doesn’t make you even slightly uncomfortable?
“You wanna see how they look under my clothes?” Your smile died off a little as you still decided what you should do with the puppet boy.
“Yes! Can I?” He asked like a little kid would, which made your smile grow some extra inches again.
Kabukimono really wasn’t a bad man, was he? He simply wants to know what’s under your shirt, is that so wrong to ask for? Why would you ever say no to such a good-intended angel?
“Sure
” Your hands gently reached down to the tie of your kimono, located in your waist.
Since you were about to sleep, you weren’t wearing any sort of underwear, which meant that you had to was open the ends of the kimono and let it fall in the ground naturally. And as soon as the chilly breeze of Inazuma was hitting your warmed breasts again, Kabukimono’s pearly eyes shone with that newest view like he was miring at diamonds.
“W
 wow
” You heard him mumble to himself as his face got some inches closer to them again as if he had completely forgotten of the fact you had already given him limits. His mouth dropped like he would begin drooling at any point from now on.
But now you didn’t really mind that extreme closure between you two now, did you?
“They look
 weird.” You've never been so easily turned off with a single comment as this one.
You did mind it, yeah.
His curious expression also died a little, now looking neutral and unbothered, not even a little bit ashamed in expressing his honesty towards what he thought of your boobs, which made you instantly back away and pull your kimono up again until your nipples were fully covered from him. He went back to a confused state, but before he could say anything, you stood up for yourself.
“Don’t say that, Kabuki. That’s a very, very wrong thing to say to a lady.” You scolded him, which made him instantly cover his mouth in regret of what he had done.
“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you sad!” He immediately apologized, leaning his hands up just to shake them side to side, trying to get you to forgive him as quick as possible.
You couldn’t help but let a little grin reshape the lips of your mouth again. He was really just a little dumber than an average human being, wasn't he? If you taught him the right thing to do and say, he would do it for the rest of his life, would he?
“Don’t you ever insult a woman’s body like that again, you understand? This is something very difficult for me to do, so be grateful for the opportunity I’m giving you, ok?” You let go one of your hands from the kimono, still holding it up with the other, just to flick his forehead with your middle finger’s nail.
“Y-Yes, of course! I don’t find your boobs weird, Y/N-sama! T-They're really pretty!” Kabukimono smacked both his hands in the floor and bowed his entire body to you while shaking his head, agreeing with the newest rule you gave him.
“There's no need to bow, Kabuki... now come here again.” You whispered close to the boy's ears, which made him slowly rise his whole body again until it was in the same angle as yours.
The hand you left holding your kimono was taken away from its place, letting him mire the view of your breasts once again. A silence took over the room, one that wasn't embarrassing to him, but surely was to you. Kabukimono would simply stare at your boobs from different angles, trying to understand their entirety with a goofy curious facial expression, while you did nothing, which pressured you to break the ice.
“Do you
 want to fondle them?” You asked fighting your own embarrassment, but also getting a little sparked up with the situation you were willing to put the both of you in.
It would be hard to convince someone so innocent like him to do something so out of his level of comprehension and teach him step-by-step about it... but you couldn't deny your own growing curiosity about his body deep down in your heart. You still remembered the sensation of touching Kabukimono's hands in his first days in the mine. They were incredibly soft, like you were touching a slightly hard pillow, but unfortunately some of its perfection was ruined due to the manual work he had to do in the mines, hammering swords, ores, carrying boxes... but he had to do it if he wanted to have a bed to sleep on, or food in his plate, so you coudln’t blame him.
How would those soft hands feel like while massaging your breasts they enjoyed to be massaged?
“F-Fondle them..?” He asked, raising his eyes up to stare at you, looking visibly confused. “Why?”
“Don’t you want to know how they feel?” You asked, fondling your left boob softly on your own in his front to give him a short preview of what you were talking about.
“I-I
 yes, but
 I don’t know how to do it, Y/N-sama
” He argued pessimistically, bonding his two hands again to fidget them in anxiety.
“There’s not really a right way to do it, Kabuki-kun, just do what comes to your mind... or what comes to my mind.” You replied more optimistically, reaching both your hands to separate his own hands, and starting to pull them slowly in direction of your needy boobs.
His entire body froze at your initiative, shivers running down his spine, blood running to his cheeks and his breathing even locking itself on his thorat just to process your actions, although he didn’t even need to do that according to himself. But that didn't stop his fingers from spreading all open to be able to have them placed where you wished them to be placed at.
And the deed was done. Kabukimono's pillow-like palms were now oficially holding both your boobs with yours on top of his to control his first, initial moments of that interaction you were introducing him to.
While he didn’t find courage to move his hands, he did have the strength to mumble some syllables every now and then, completely melted by your actions.
“Don’t worry, Kabuki-kun
” Your knees hopped closer his body, leaning your head close to his ear again. “Just close your eyes and move your hands around as you wish to... I'll help you if you wish me to.” Your flirty voice made his ears twitch in growing arousal.
The same growing arousal that managed to overcome his embarrasment as you saw the puppet gulp all the saliva resting in his mouth and close his eyes shut, relaxing his hands to let them be controlled by yours.
The first thing you did was to tighten your grip on his hands, forcing him to do the same to your boobs, which made your throat hum in pleasure of feeling such softness massaging your boobs after so many months untouched by a man. You hated the other men's hands felt against them. Hard palms who were usually stained by the black ink of coal, completely mistreated nails and calluses everywhere, playing with your boobs the way they liked it and completely obnoxious to your needs, sometimes even causing you to experience pain when they groped on them. Kabukimono's hands were soft and completely submissive to your command, so they were pleasuring you fully. You doubted that those hands, so perfectly architectured and crafted, could be ever as damaged as the other men's.
“Wow
” He hummed very lowly, still froze in his place as you stared at his dolly face.
And although he wasn't really moving, you could his fingertips slowly getting more and more relaxed by the seconds, mostly stoning them in an angle where he was grpping on your breasts by his own without the assistance of your hands. You even saw him smoothly breathe out all that air he had kept his lungs all this long, which seemed like an achievement to you.
As expected, the experience was becoming pleasing to him. Even if he wasn't human, what kind of creature does not enjoy groping boobs? They're soft and fluffy, no matter how big or small they are. You'd never tell any man this little secret, but even women grope their own boobs when they feel like it, so why wouldn't he want it too? The question didn't matter to you anymore because his hands, who were previously repulsive to your boobs, now finally have tightened their grip on you without your assistance, alongside with his eyes, who slowly opened to meet what he hadn't revealed to himself yet.
You couldn't help but let out a slutty hum, thirsting for more of that individuality of Kabukimono.
And he didn't disappoint your hunger, since it seemed he had found the courage to start a slow rhythm of rotating your boobs all around in a circle as he occasionally pressed them with his fingers too, even causing your inner walls to clench around nothing a few times. His cheeks were still shining in red, matching his shiny violet eyes, but they had definitely lost a bunch of pigmentation as he got used to the feeling.
You grinned and relaxed your hands on top of his', enjoying both sides of his hands working on you. The sexual tension had become heavy to you by the seconds, but Kabukimono didn't really look sparked in that way, like all that went through his mind was really just curiosity in the female body. After all, the next thing he said to you wasn't arousing in any way.
“W-What happened to your nipples?” He asked, moving both his and your index and middle fingers away from each other to take a better look at your nipples.
“Oh..." You went quiet for some seconds, looking down upon your boobs, only to find them looking normal, with the exception of your them being hard. "They just got hard
” You explained, a little turned off and scratching the back of your head.
“Hard..? Why..?” The grip of his hands softened, his attention already focusing in the next explanation you were going to give him.
“Well, as I explained, I need to have a way to feed a baby with the milk inside me, so think of this as a sink turning on..!” You suggested, a little more enthusiastic. “Although any kind of touch can easily make them hard...” You argued back at your own explanation.
“Wow
 it’s rally a whole system
” He commented while pressing your boobs once again, which made you nod in surprise of the way he connected the ideas pretty quickly without you having to go word by word about it.
“That's right, just like the entire human body! Wanna try one?” You said, gently pinching your own nipple to show him a preview of what he had to do again.
But unlike your expectations, he didn't feel really embarrassed at all anymore as you saw him nodding for a quick moment and then slowly changing the way his hand was positioned to perfectly pinch both your nipples at the same time, causing a whole heat wave to run through your body.
You couldn’t help but genuinelty let a moan escape your lips and clamp your inner walls together again, trying to hold your will to touch yourself as he teased your boobs. It called Kabukimono's attention for a second but he decided to ignore it, thinking it was a sign to keep going. So, one of his hands decided to convert back to its fondling form, trying to do both things he had just learned at the same time. It was really causing your body to heat up in a way you weren’t expecting it to, in need for the next level of that kind of interaction, and he would simply keep fueling it cluelessly. His eyes would constantly focus on each boob and his hands would switch turns between pinching a nipple and fondling the whole organ, which was an addicting feeling for you, such an untouched woman.
You couldn’t even believe that was really Kabukimono making you feel pleasure, and that much of it too. It didn’t match his personality at all, and that’s also something he also came up to realize.
“Y/N-sama
 why am I learning this..?” He suddenly asked, stopping his rhythm on you which also cut off the production of pleasure in your body.
You didn’t know how to answer that question. Was Kabukimono ready to learn how humans make babies in the first place to feed with your boobs? Was he ready to practice it too? Could he get you pregnant..? He was such an innocent boy, vulnerable to any corruption
 but you could help him mature in a way it wouldn’t traumatize him. As long as you treat the topic nicely and let him decide whether he wants it or not, it wouldn’t be that much for the boy to take, would it? It could also make him have more pleasure in living as a whole.
Wait... does he even have a dick? Even if he did, is he able to feel pleasure? You didn’t see or feel him feeling sexual during this whole time. Maybe he’s really immune or tolerant to it... or he hasn’t felt it yet.
“Kabuki-kun
 do you have anything between your legs?” You asked, purposefully avoiding his question.
“Between my legs..?” He rubbed his own legs against each other gently for a quick moment. “Yeah
 yes, I do.” He said, not understanding why you changed topic, but taking his hands off your breasts for the moment.
“May I see what’s between them?” You grinned and leaned a little closer to the puppet’s embarrassed face, trying to make him comfortable onto saying ‘yes’ to you.
“I—
 yes, but you didn’t answer my question
” He answered, purposefully closing the gap between his legs shut to get you to talk to him first.
“Well
 Kabuki-kun, boobs aren’t only made to feed babies
 do you even know how babies are made in the first place?” You stopped your line of thinking just to know if he was really that innocent, which he nodded his head side-to-side. “Well then, I think it’s really important for you to learn about this system of the human body, Kabuki-kun. Boobs are also made to make me
 feel good.” His head angled to the left a little, not understanding what you meant by that last sentence.
“Feel good..?” His voice sounded confused once again, back to step one.
“Yes, and whatever us between your legs can probably make you feel good too, that’s why..!” You reassured the boy, gently patting the top of his purple head, but he didn’t really seem to be interested in your words, which made your anticipation truly die. “I just
 wanted to teach you something about human beings that can do two things at the same time for us
 it’s okay if you don’t want it, I understand.” You finally begun backing away from the puppet.
What were you thinking? How could you forget he isn’t really a human being in the first place? He’s a puppet, one that assimilates a human being, but who doesn’t act like one. He’s still too ‘young’ and naive to learn such a delicate thing
 nor would he ever pleasure on it like you did. What kind of puppeteer would ever give any puppet a sexual organ? It would be cruel to teach him something for only your benefit when he didn’t view it like that too. It’d be better to let him have his first time with a woman he actually appreciates, not with the only one he knows yet.
You started tying your kimono back to normal very disappointed at yourself while Kabukimono simply stared. You couldn’t even tell what was he thinking behind that head
 how’d you think that brainless man would be able to take all the information sex needs to be done accurately?
“W-Wait
 what is it that you want to teach me..?” One of his hands launched forward to hold one of your wrists gently, trying to stop you from completely dressing up again.
Your face frowned, a little uncomfortable to talk about the topic now, but not enough to actually not give him the answer.
“
It’s called sex.” You initiated, but tried to wait for him to recognize the term, although you were pretty sure he wouldn’t-
“I’ve heard that name before!” He smiled at you very excited as he indeed recognized that term.
“You
 did..?” You were a little shocked, you must say. The way he has been internally repulsing sexual interaction didn’t match the fact he knew the word ‘sex’ at all...
... Oh, yeah, the forgers.
“Y-Yeah! The forgers talk about that sometimes but they always make sure I don’t hear or understand what they’re talking about! I’ve even heard your name in those conversations sometimes!” He got so excited as he explained what he knew, completely clueless of the trigger he had just pulled on you.
“O-Oh
 that’s
 good..?!” It took you a while to properly react to that information in a way where he wouldn’t lose that motivation.
“What is that?! I’ve been wanting to learn what that was for a while now
 but the miners always told me to wait for 5 years to learn about it, and we’re still on month 6 on year 1! Should I really wait for it or can you tell me what it is?!” You sighed.
Those stupid men
 gatekeeping anything they find too ‘inappropriate’ for Kabukimono
 and for five years..?!
“Well, Kabuki
 I guess you can learn about it...” You breathed in and out, preparing yourself to teach him something partially hard to take in while his face remained excited like a little kid’s. “So... Kabuki-kun, when two people really like each other, they make this act called sex, but in better words, they make love to each other. It shows to them how much they like each other and how intimate they wish to be with each other.” You initiated, blood beginning to run to your cheeks again as you thought of you and Kabukimono possibly making love to each other too. “And sex is
 something that makes the both of them feel really good and that can also make a baby, that’s some people call it ‘making love’.” You scratched the back of your neck.
“So
 if that happens between two people that like each other, does it mean we can do it too? I mean... I think you were feeling pretty good when I was fondling your breasts so it means we can make it too, right?” Your eyes widened a little. He had no notion of what he had just asked for, did he?
“Well
 yeah, but I don’t think you’re apt to do it, Kabuki
 it’s not easy at all and you didn’t really seem a bit interested in it before, so I don’t want to make this any more uncomfortable or awkward to you.” You wasted the opportunity he had given you.
“B-But I want to learn! I want to know more about humans! I don’t mind making you feel good at all, I was just a little lost back there! Your boobs feel really nice to touch!” He suddenly banged his hands in the floor again and hopped closer to you, not allowing you to back away from him at all.
Oh, you were so confused
 yeah, you had created all this mess but you’ve only realized it was really a mess now. All thanks to your bipolarity...
“Well
 we can try but I don’t know if I’m in the mood anymore
” You giggled nervously, trying your best to not make the moment more awkward.
“W-Wait! Here!” He suddenly backed away from you only to quickly undo the simple tie in his white pants and pull his organ out of it with a hand. “This is what you wanted to see if I had, isn’t it?! The forgers already made me that question too!” Your jaw dropped at his move. It wasn’t comfortable in any way to have a man pulling out his dick when you have already stated you weren’t in the mood to do it, nor when it was a puppet labeled as a male human being.
But, indeed, Kabukimono really hadn’t answered your question wrong. He did have a dick...
... and he wasn't small.
It even made you stop your thoughts to think about why would he ever have one. Is his creator a creep? Was this some sort of irony his creator did because they knew they were going to abandon him and that would most likely lead him to death? Well, there’s also the factor he wants to be associated with the human race, and one of the many aspects of humanity are these intimate parts and what they bring humans to feel, so it would make sense for him to have one for this mission or if his creator really wanted to abandon him.
Yeah, that’s probably it. Anyway, this man has a big dick and he stated he wants to learn about sex with you. What are you waiting for?
“O-Oh!” You stared at his furless genital for a moment. “Well then
 can I touch it, Kabuki?” You hopped a little closer to him, making his eyes look away from yours in slight embarrassment.
“Y-Yes... but be careful..!" He let go of his grip in his dick and relaxed both his hands behind his body in the floor, opening his entire body for you to touch.
You slowly crawled closer to his body, your eyes deeply focused in his growing erection. After kneeing the closest you could to his hips, your right hand finally reached his organ, which made it twitch and made him whimper immediately. It was not only the first time you had ever touched him like that, but it was also the first time you heard such kind of noise coming out of him. It was probably his first time being touched like that too, so it would be expected for him to be very sensible. Your hand was quick to begin a slow rhythm of going up and down all around it, which surprised him since he’d been so slow and careful with you and the fact he was being introduced to so much pleasure in such a short time. Which means that soon enough, his whimpers became something constant rather than rare, but at least his body was becoming more relaxed and turned on with your movements. His cheeks had become red again and he decided to put a hand in front of his mouth to cover his moans.
“Does that feel good, Kabuki?” You asked, smiling at his whiny face and pearly eyes, like he was about to tear with the amounts of pleasure you gave him.
“I-Is this
 supposed to make me feel like this..?” He looked up to you again while groaning in his own palm.
“Yes, indeed
 that’s what I call it ‘feeling good’ and ‘making love’, but it’s also known as ‘sexual pleasure’.” You blinked at him, whose face just blushed more.
“I-I
 I want to make you feel this good too.” He stated before suddenly jumping his body upwards and placing his hands on your boobs, already beginning a rhythm of fondling them to match yours.
You couldn’t deny you were surprised at the move, moaning in a high-pitched tone while your walls clamped around nothing once again when he pinched your nipples, but you didn’t mind it at all. Instead, you wanted him to continue
 in another place.
“I know a better place for that
” You whispered with a gentle voice, knowing it always made Kabukimono’s ear twitch.
“S-Show me!” He let go off your boobs and rested both his palms open in front of you so you could move them as you wished to.
Unfortunately, you had to ruin some of the tension that was building up by taking your right hand away from his dick, the same way he did to yours boobs. You slid the rest of your kimono, that has been resting in your hips all along, until it was fully in the floor. Then, you slid your panties to your knees, too lazy and needy to waste your time taking it all off. Then you sat down again and begun reshaping his hand to a new form like you were messing with clay, gently grabbing after finishing it to place it to your vertical lips, which made Kabukimono’s eyes widen in curiosity by the second and force his arm to stone in its place.
“W-What’s that..?” He asked, trying to take a closer peek of your pussy before actually touching it.
“It’s called a ‘vagina’, but it’s better to call it a ‘pussy’
 it’s where I urinate and also where I feel the most good.” Your own cheeks got flushed as you explained about your own organ, who was aching to be touched by those soft hands of his. “Wanna try it by your own?” You pleaded as you spread your legs further away from each other for his benefit.
He quietly nodded while sliding his hand to your pussy smoothly, ready to coop it on top of it, but as soon as he felt the wet of it barely leaking from your hole, he took his hand away from you like he had just touched acid.
“W-What is that..?!” His entire face went red as he got nervous.
You couldn’t help but giggle, thinking that he was probably guessing that was pee.
“Don’t worry, Kabuki, it’s not pee..! It’s just that when you make a girl feel good like you were just doing to me, she gets wet like this, just like you got a little hard when I touched you.” You carefully explained, gently running a finger at your entrance to grab some of your wet and show him what it was.
“B-But why would you get wet..? And why would I get hard..?” He asked as he cautiously looked at your finger.
“For us to make love
 but I won’t show it to you yet, you still need more accommodation.” He made a whiny face as you hid the answer away from him, but decided to go along with what you were previously doing.
“Oh
 that looks sweet.” He commented as his eyes lingered on your wet finger like a curious kid.
“You can try it if you want to
 I don’t think it tastes good tho
” You brought your finger closer to him so he could taste it.
His mouth approached your finger and opened enough to stick his tongue out and lick the pool of wet resting at the tip of your finger.
“Tastes
 salty.” He commented, a little reluctant while moving his tongue around his mouth to taste your juices better.
“There’s no need to keep tasting it
 you’re supposed to simply play with it as you wish to
” You joked, giggling at yourself, completely desperate for his soft fingers to caress your swollen cunt again.
“O-Ok
” He nodded, getting his hand back to your folds and caressing them up and down, making your clit ache to receive that much attention too.
And you got your hands back to work in his dick, both of you beginning to pleasure yourselves with your hands while a mess of moans started to take over the room’s previous silence.
“I-Is this
 a hole..?” He asked, gently inserting the tip of his finger inside you, which caused you to roll your head behind your shoulders in shock with the sudden pleasure.
“Ah, yes! Keep going..!” You pleaded for him, who simply nodded in shock with your reaction and kept fingering you in and out.
You didn’t even tell him that he was supposed to thrust it repeatedly, but he seemed to have the instincts to do it like a real man would, which relieved you a little. His cold fingers also made you feel even better, melting your entrance in him easily.
Kabukimono couldn’t even think about what was he doing. The pleasure you were giving to his poor virgin dick was numbing his thoughts, and he hated it. He really wanted to find a way to thrust you better, but thankfully, you were also too focused on your own actions to care if he was thrusting you badly or not, your cunt was too hungry to refuse any touch that wasn’t yours. Your grip on his dick tightening according to how good he made you feel.
“You’re really hard, Kabuki
 are you enjoying this this much too?” You asked with a flirty voice, leaning closer to his face, inches away from his red lips.
“Y-Yes
” He whimpered.
“Want me to make this even better?” You leaned closer to his ear just to make the boy shiver and nod immediately in desperation for his unrecognized sexual relief.
“There’s more..?!” His eyes widened a little, which made you smirk in amusement.
But it quickly got replaced by you taking your hands away from his erection and use them to push him by the shoulders against the mattress that had been laying down and witnessing the both of you from behind this entire time. You weren’t aggressive of course, why would you want to scare him off from such a pleasurable act that you needed to have once again?
He still got a little shocked and gasped lightly, but still let you have the most power in the moment. But his attention was taken away when he rose his head to see what was one of your hands doing in the back of your bodies.
“Is this
 sex..?” He asked while tryin to cover some moans from you running your gummy folds in his tip.
“Yes, indeed. Are you ready to see why I get wet and you get hard..?” You smirked as you moved your hands to undo his kimono away from his chest too, revealing his slim torso.
You were kinda surprised at the fact that he didn’t really have abs after working out so much in the mines, but since he was a puppet, his muscles couldn’t really change, could they?
“Y-Yes
” He moaned, and soon his words were taken over by even more whimpers because of you slowly fitting all of yourself around his throbbing erection, causing him to arch his back with the weird sensation of your wet warmth squeezing him entirely.
But the thing that mostly called your attention was just how the cold his dick was compared to your cunt, like if all that warming-up was completely useless to his body. The heat shock caused shivers to run down your whole body, also making him to get even harder due to the comfort your warmth gave to his cold body.
“See how they match perfectly with each other..? Do you like it..?” You asked between slight groans, leaning closer to his embarrassed face as his dick warmed up to your temperature.
“Y-Yes
 feels weird, but
 I want more..!” He moaned out, completely altered by what you were doing to him, even launching his hips upward to feel more of your gummy insides.
“Then I’ll give you more
” You grabbed the boy’s chin and took his lips into a suffocating kiss while you started jerking your hips up and down.
His hands were gripping so tight in the sheets you could even feel bad for him, but he fit so perfectly inside you didn’t really want to stop. Puffy noises could be heard coming out from you whenever you sat down on him due to the arousal of the sex you were doing while your tongues danced with each other maniacally.
“This is why I get wet, Kabuki
” You moaned between the kiss. “So I can slide around you as easily as this
 and you get hard so you can easily fit in me..! Isn’t it a funny system..?” You stopped kissing him, but you still kept your foreheads touching each other, feeling his warm breath in your face.
“Y-Yes..! A-And you’re wet because I made you feel good, right..?” He asked, desperately looking for more of your approval, which made you so joyful that you nodded immediately.
“Of course, Kabuki, of course
” You mumbled before launching your mouth right back at his mouth again.
If you never thought of Kabukimono as anything but a friend, now you definitely were. He was perfectly kind and loving like a friend should be, but the most important part of his personality, that you’ve never really paid attention to, was just how respectful, loyal and curious he was about you. He always looked up to you when he had a question, he always praised you for teaching him things, calling you wonderful, amazing and many other things. He was too naive to be unfaithful or disrespectful to you, like
 you couldn’t picture him leaving your apartment as soon as he was done with this, like other men did, or tell everyone about his newest achievement of getting you under him in a bed, like all of the men did. You couldn’t even tell if Kabukimono liked you in a romantic way, but you definitely wanted him to. You wanted to be the only woman he committed those acts with, the same way you were beginning to wish he was the only man doing that you did that with.
“F-Feels too good..!” He whined, tears appearing at the corner of his eyes as he forced your mouths to stop kissing, a chord of saliva connecting you two indirectly for some quick seconds before it broke and fell on his chin.
You smirked at the view you had of him under you, but you were soon cut by Kabukimono strength suddenly acting on you.
It was sudden, but Kabukimono really moved his hands to your shoulders and pulled himself upwards, pushing the both of you down the floor again, his balls still shoved deep inside you. You didn’t protest at all but you were surprised he had the instinct to do that.
“I-I want to
 make love to you too
” He whispered, his mouth and arms trembling in exhaustion, barely drooling on top of you.
His kimono had also fallen all the way to his knees, fully giving you a hot view of his naked body as his dick grinded inside your gummy hole.
“It’s ok
 go ahead
” You smiled at him, using your hands to caress his back carefully, stimulating him to fuck you already.
His hips bucked once into yours slowly, really unsure of his own actions although he really wanted to be doing it, but you were so turned on, anything made you feel good at this point.
“Y-Yes
 just like that
 nice and slow~
” You moaned as you spread your legs further away from each other for him, approaching both your bodies to each other.
“You like it like this..?” He bucked his hips some more times into you, more comfortable with your opinion at his sloppy thrusts.
“Yes
 you’re doing a good job, Kabuki
” You moaned out his name, which caused a whiny groan to come out of him.
“S-S
 say that again
” He pleaded in a whimper, his speed slightly increasing, although his thrusts weren’t precise at all.
“Kabuki..?” You asked, making him whine loudly again and tighten his grip in the hay floor by your head. “Kabuki~
” You repeated it, but better, making the poor puppet have to tug his face under your neck in desperation for any strength because of his extreme sensibility.
“Yes
 my name..! I want that to be my real name..!” He whimpered with a hoarse voice whille moving his hands down to your waist just to hug you in an angle where he could feel your chest against his and where he could also make love to your needy hole without having to wate all of his little remaining energy.
If it wasn’t for his will to keep going, he would’ve crumbled on top of you a long time ago. You could feel just how shaky his knees were from all the exhaustion. Seems like you had really managed to turn him addicted to the feeling even if it was just his first time ever doing it. He was determined to keep reaching for more pleasure like it was a law set on stone for him. He didn’t even know sex had its peak yet, and you knew he would get even more surprised, excited and exhausted with the information you were going to tell him soon. But right now, you just wanted to feel the tip of his cock punching your gummy walls until it kissed your cervix and hear the poor puppet whining beautifully right on your ears whenever he did that.
Poor little Kabukimono couldn’t even bring himself to pull out more than half of his dick from you, just like if he wanted to simply be embraced the warmth of your insides for the rest of it, cockwarming himself although his dick and his whole body didn't even feel cold anymore. Its temperatue had managed to perfectly balance with yours because of all that energy you two were wasting on each other.
“Y-Y/N-sama... I feel weird...” He whispered in a very weirded-out tone, rising his head to stare at you but not daring to stop fucking you.
“How come..?” You stared right back into the deepest corners of his pupils, moving a hand upwards to caress the poor boy's head as he vented to you.
“S-Something... inside me... I think I need to go to the bathroom..!” He explained while slowing down his rhythm considerably, making a perverted grin to grow in your lips immediately as you remembered that you needed to talk to him about the orgasm.
“Oh, Kabuki... you don’t need to go to the bathroom..! Believe it or not, there’s still a final step you need to learn, so keep going and do not stop.” His eyes widened in surprise once again but he decided to not protest and listen to you. “You’re about to reach the peak of sex... the peak of pleasure... we call it an orgasm... we’ve been building it ever since we started touching each other
” You explained while trying to hold back the multiple moans he was causing you to have due to how he went back to his previous rhythm of pushing his hips into youtrs. “I think I’m also reaching too... so we’re gonna do it together, isn’t that amazing..?” You pulled his head closer to your just to feel his sweaty forehead against yours again.
“Y-yes... are you sure this is the final step tho..? You keep saying there’s a new thing when you say it’s the last one..!” He protested in a childish tone which made you giggle.
“I am a 100% sure this is the last step now, Kabuki... it's nothing as special as all of this.. you’ll see... but I need you just fuck me a little faster!” You pleaded, finally letting some of your sluttiness get out of its cage, the same ones you've been holding inside your head this entire time to make the experience more about him rather than you.
Thanfully, Kabukimono wasn’t selfish or proud of himself, so he simply nodded his head weakly and went back to hammering your hole full of his dick to reach both your orgasms, shoving his head back to its little hiding spot in you neck again.
“C-Can I kiss you here, Y/N-sama..?” He whined while touching the tip of his nose in the side of your neck, his lips already touching it in a trembly way.
“Of course you can, Kabuki! I’m even surprised you felt the will to do that...” You turned your head to his to whisper in his ear as he launched his lips into your muscles, making out with it very gently.
Since you hadn’t really taken your hand away from the back of his head, you decided to go back at caressing it, which was making the poor puppet’s body twitch every now and then. That part of his body was ticklish as expected and you wanted him to feel good, so you just relaxed most of your muscles and let him enjoy the magic of a wet pussy for the first time. After all, Kabukimono was obviously not mastered in having sex (yet), so his thrusts were more relaxing than breathtaking to you, but it didn’t mean it was making you feel turned off.
Still, even if he didn’t have any idea of what he was doing and how to do it, a certain bulge was beginning to evolve quicker in your womb, warning your body that you were indeed about to reach an orgasm. Perhaps, that whole masturbation session and your newest attraction for him made it easier for your body to experience sexual pleasure.
“I-I’m gonna cum, Kabuki..!” You warned him, although you knew he had no idea of what you meant by that.
“I-Is that
 the peak thing..? Because if it is, I think I’m gonna do that too.. my balls feel
 really heavy..!” The lack of breath in his body didn’t even allow him to tell you something in a full sentence, his will to cry barely becoming true as you heard his voice break multiple times.
“Yes..! You’re gonna cum too!” Your other hand in his back scratched him not so gently, which caused him to let out a deep groan from the back of his throat, but you were really just trying to feel more of him.
And it really didn’t last long to build up the orgasm in that position because Kabukimono had really been building it up all this time. Even that mechanism in his body perfectly resembled a human’s one. It was hot and sticky as expected, even hotter than a man’s cum, causing your womb to ache with the slightly fiery feeling of both your orgasms fighting for space inside there. Kabukimono threw his head aback and whimpered the loudest the he could, some tears forming in his eyes again, making them look glossier, completely shocked and unused to that euphoric feeling, but he made sure to keep some self control to keep himself loading all of his essence inside you, no matter if his hands were having to give their soul to keep him on top of you.
The moment lasted for a good while since his orgasm was way longer than yours, but you made sure to welcome every single drop of his cum inside you so he could understand the fun of having an orgasm in the first place.
When his cock finally ended milking every single miligram of his cum from his virgin body, he simply crumbled and fell on top of you with eyes closed shut, still with his cock shoved in you so he wouldn’t get rid of that addicting feeling of a gummy pussy. Your hands simply tapped his back in response, trying to make the poor puppet comfortable to relax on top of you after such exhausting round of sex.
“Liked it..?” You asked, holding back a little giggle.
“Y-Yes
 I did
” He whined while breathing heavily multiple times, his voice stll sounding whiny.
“Come here
” You hugged his back harder and guided him into the loose mattress of your bed again, ending with you and him laying side by side, centimeters away from each other and staring at each other romantically. “Thank you, Kabuki-kun
” You whispered while moving a hand to throw a piece of his hair behind his ear, which made him grin and his cheeks to flush in a pinkish tone.
“No
 I should be the one thanking you for teaching me so many new things in a single question
” He avoided eye contact with you.
You couldn't hold it anymore, he looked too cute for you to not hug him, so that's what exactly you did. You threw yourself against the boy's chest and slid your hands under his arms to hug his back once again. He quickly hugged you back, squeezing your head closer to his chest unintentionally. It was weird how you couldn’t hear anything from inside it, but it really didn’t matter if he didn’t have a heart or not to you, he had a soul and a very alive one.
“You’re welcome, Kabuki
” You finally allowed yourself to close your eyes and begin to fall asleep.
You assumed Kabukimono was doing the same, even if sleeping didn’t have any benefits to him. After all, he was extremely quiet and he sounded like he was focusing on his breathing, rolling his fingers in some strands of your hair playfully just like other men did when they decided to spend the rest of the night with you.
“Y/N-sama
 do you mind if I ask you something before you fall asleep..?” He suddenly whispered, which didn’t scare you at all, so you didn’t even mind moving a muscle to open your eyes again.
“Yeah, go ahead
” You answered in a sleepy tone.
“When can we do that again?”
Don’t forget to like and comment if you liked it <3
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Taglist: @alatusorrow @the-stinky-winky @kindofscenic @amoyanderes @kindofshyent
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sweet-as-an-angel · 1 year ago
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Miguel Having A Crush On You Would Include

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Warnings: Implications of Smut, Obsessive Miguel, Possessive Miguel, Implied Yandere Miguel, Miguel in Love, Vampire Marking, Marking (Kind Of), Fluff, Typical Crush Behaviour, Petnames/Nicknames, No Pronouns used for Reader Except ‘You’.
Him being absolutely OBSESSED with you.
Literally completely feral, down bad, infatuated, etc.
Initially, when he realised he’d started liking you in a romantic sense, he tried pushing you away; tried drowning his feelings in work, missions, Hell – even resolving petty spats between the Spiderpeople at the base. Anything to exorcise this rising feeling of butterflies in his chest whenever you were around. Vulnerability.
However, you were persistent.
You’d bring him lunch whenever you knew it would be a long day in the office for him, telling him that “Even the best superhero needs a sandwich every now and then!”
And by God were your sandwiches phenomenal.
Though he’d never admit it, his heart would skip a beat whenever the door to his office opened, knowing that it could be you paying him a visit with your delectable lunchables, or even just to check in on him. Make him feel special in ways nobody else had or could in years.
Eventually, this turned into a daily affair; one Miguel would watch the clock for, wait for. Long for.
Miguel also tried hiding his feelings when you brought him hand-crafted, love-filled desserts that he just couldn’t bring himself to ignore or throw away. Or, when Miles offered to take them off his hands, let anyone else have.
Eventually, there isn’t a day that goes by where you aren’t with him in some capacity. And it shows.
Whenever you’re late, even only by a few minutes, Miguel can feel his heart spike, asking Lyla where you are, if she can track you, etc.
“Sounds like you liiiike (Y/N)~” Lyla gives Miguel a knowing smile.
Miguel just grunts, ignores her. Though, he can feel the corners of his lips turning up, and hides them behind a well-placed hand, rubbing his temples.
Soft glances whenever you’re in the room, all his attention turning to you and you alone.
He just loves to stare at you. You’re so beautiful that he can’t understand why nobody else passing you has to stitch their dropped jaw back onto their face.
Then again, he is grateful. The fury that bubbles inside him whenever he catches someone glancing at you, gaze lustful, is all-consuming, enough to make his teeth grind, his eyes bleed a light rouge hue, piercing. He makes sure they’ll never cross paths with you again.
Gradually, your warmth and kindness thaws his walls, and, once the floodgates are open, neither you nor he can predict the dark ocean that is to flood your lives.
He doesn’t mean to throw himself full-force into his feelings, but after being so guarded for so long, he just can’t help it.
Becomes overly-concerned with every facet of your life. More so than he already was.
Constantly trying to find out information about you, though being stumped as to how to do so without arousing your suspicion.
Asks Lyla to track you, see what you’re doing, who you’re with, their relation to you.
However, she begins to deny Miguel such luxuries, telling him to “Grow a pair and ask (Y/N) yourself!”
When he realises Lyla is steadfast in her resolve, he does so. Reluctantly.
Though, once he starts, he finds it difficult to stop.
“Where are you going after work?”, “Are you going out tonight with anyone?”, “Who?”
Eventually, you just look up at him, seemingly oblivious to his growing desperation, and say: “Gosh, Miguel, you’re starting to sound like you’re my boyfriend or something!”
His heart stops. His throat dries and he just looks at you, eyes wide.
One second passes. Then two. Then–
“Oh– uh– yeah... I mean, not that that’s weird, right? Unless you think it is weird, then–”
Lyla has to step in and save him from himself, telling him he has ‘urgent business’ in one of the other wings of the facility.
His suit suddenly feels too tight and too hot beneath the collar whenever he has to speak with you alone.
And tight in
other places when his mind wanders to the more intimate aspects of your hypothetical relationship.
Miguel likes to rationalise this as him preparing how best to please you when the time, inevitably, comes for him to claim you, make you his. At least, this staves off the post-nut clarity (guilt) just a little longer when he’s pursuing a release, blasphemous images of you running through his mind.
A good example of this occurs almost nightly, with Miguel thoroughly loving a pillow clad in a shirt he’d lent you once, your scent still woven, though faded, into the fabric.
Many nights, his face is pressed to the cotton of that shirt, muffling his lips and his moans as his teeth sink into your temporary body, extending, marking, hand moving fervently beneath the bed sheets, your name the chant of many a spell of ardour.
You might mistake that red glow on his cheeks for the illumination of the console screens, but anyone who looks close enough knows better.
He loves showing you around the facility. Especially when your eyes light up and you remark how intelligent he is for “Doing this all on your own,”
Any compliment from you makes his heart thrum and his cheeks burn with the urge to smile. And, if it’s only you in his company, he does so.
Maybe even give you a nervous laugh.
You’re the only one he feels comfortable with showing emotion to.
He hopes that his displays aren’t lost on you; that you know him well enough to know that every smile, every laugh, is for you and you only.
And he is determined to, one day, make that smile of yours for him. And only him.
But, for now, he will content himself with daydreams and night ventures into territory not yet known, all the while possessing a seat beside you, being a shoulder for you to cry on, an ear into which you may pour your worries, a hero on whom you can always depend in ways you can’t even begin to imagine.
Reblog for more content like this! It helps creators like myself tremendously and it is greatly appreciated :-)
Masterlist Masterpost
Yandere Masterlist Juicy Original Content <3
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redroomreflections · 1 month ago
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Let's Make A Movie
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Natasha Romanoff xfem!reader
The Loud House Universe
The one where they make a tape ;)
Warnings: bondage, strap use, penetration, things only married couples do of course /s ;)
w/c: 2.9k
Making a sex tape was never on your list of things to do. It's just one of those ideas that fell into your lap. The idea of being able to watch and replay your time with Natasha became more enticing the more you thought about it. When you brought it up to her she'd been weary of your requests but on board. She had stipulations though. You couldn't show her face, and it could only be viewed in the bedroom. That was all well and fine. If anything, those two rules were a turn-on. Oh, and she wanted to top you.
It couldn't be a manufactured moment. It needed to be organic and real. It had to be raw and unhinged.
So, you waited. It didn't take long. Your sex life was great so it wasn't like you had to wait for her to initiate anything. The opportunity presented itself within a month. You were in the tower this time, the high-security building feeling more private than your own apartment somehow. You had been in the midst of a heavy makeout session when she reached for the camcorder. You were a little embarrassed by how fast you'd set up the camera but it had paid off.
"Is it recording?"
"Uh-huh."
Natasha hummed, taking the camera from your hands and moving away to get the right angle.
"You have a minute to get naked, baby," She teased.
"What happens if I don't?"
"Then I don't get to fuck you and you don't get to fuck me"
That was an empty threat, she would let you fuck her either way. Still, you complied and stripped, the cool air of the room making your nipples perk.
"On the bed," She commanded.
You moved to lay back on the bed, looking up at her with anticipation. You were already wet, pussy clenching at the sight of her. knowing that the camera was there somehow added to your heightened senses.
She was dressed down in a tank top and underwear, and her hair was wild. Her makeup had smudged slightly, her lips swollen from kissing. Her green eyes looked black, her pupils blown. She was beautiful. She set the camera down and crawled on the bed, kneeling over. She stroked your neck with one hand, managing to keep her balance, as she pulled you in for another kiss. You could taste the vodka on her tongue.
Her kisses were aggressive and possessive. She kissed you like it was her only chance. Like the world would end in a second. Like it was her last meal. Her hand gripped the side of your face as her other moved down to play with your nipples. it would be a lie to say you weren't already wound up. Natasha kneaded and pinched, noting how your kisses became sloppier as you struggled to breathe through her ministrations. She gave your nipple one last tug before traveling further down, running her fingers along your ribs, then your hip bones, finally dipping a single digit into your dripping heat with no warning.
"Shit, Nat," You whined, head falling back onto the pillows.
"God, baby. You're so wet already."
Natasha was the most observant woman you'd ever met. She could tell if your day was off or if something was bothering you with just one look. The same skills translated to the bedroom, or at least, the porn studio. You smiled in your head at the inside joke.
"What's funny?" She asked as she took her finger from your pussy, collecting your juices, before swirling it over your nipple.
"Nothing. You're just driving me crazy."
"Good." She said before dipping her head to take your nipple into her mouth. She flicked the nub with her tongue before biting down softly.
"Fuck," You hissed, bucking your hips up into her.
"Easy, sweetheart. We're gonna take our time tonight."
The promise of a drawn-out night made you clench. She chuckled, her breath tickling your breast. She switched breasts, sucking the other nipple into her mouth. She wanted to tease you. Wanted to see how needy she could make you. It was hard for her to not give in and fuck you herself. She knew she'd cave eventually.
"Mmm," You moaned, your hand going to the back of her head to get her closer. She suckled your breasts, licking, biting, and pulling at them. By the time she was done, they were hard and swollen.
She moved her head lower, licking your skin until she got to your belly button. You were a mess of arousal and her spit, your pussy aching for her attention.
"You want my mouth?" She asked, lips trailing even lower.
"Yes."
"Where? Be specific."
"I want your mouth on my pussy."
"I think I have other ideas," She said.
You were confused at first until she began to move her mouth up again. Your disappointment must've been evident because she chuckled, kissing the tip of your nose.
"Don't worry, baby. I'll give you what you need. But not yet. You can handle a little more teasing, can't you?"
You nodded and she grinned, "That's what I thought." She leaned over to the nightstand, rummaging through it before pulling out a few items.
"You're tying me up?" You questioned.
"Only for a little bit."
She moved the pillow you'd been leaning against, moving it off to the side.
"Hands up," She ordered.
You followed her directions, lifting your arms above your head. She bound your hands together, securing them to the headboard.
"Comfy?"
"Yeah,"
She kissed you again, softer than the previous ones. It was tender and loving. When she pulled away, her expression was one of pure adoration.
"What do you say, if you need to stop?"
"Red."
"Good girl."
Natasha's fingers trailed down the valley of your chest and stomach, stopping just shy of your throbbing pussy. She spread your legs and positioned herself between them. She lowered her head to your left thigh, peppering it with kisses. Then she nipped at the flesh.
"Ow!" You squeaked.
She did the same to the other thigh. Then the next. The bites got harder each time. Soon enough, there was a ring of teeth marks on your thighs. They stung, and you were sure they'd leave bruises.
"You're marking me up, Tasha."
"I know," She said. She moved down to your thighs and positioned them so that you were open just enough to place the vibrator between them. Then she tied your ankles.
"Are you gonna fuck me with that thing?"
"Yes. But I'm not done yet."
"Not done with what?"
"With you," She answered.
She placed the vibrator on the first setting and held it against your pussy, making sure to press it against your clit. The feeling made you gasp. She moved the toy up and down, slowly.
"Wait, wait, Nat, fuck, wait," You begged. She had the decency to wait.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm fine it's just..." You breathed.
She removed the toy and kissed the side of your head.
"Thank you," You sighed.
"Do you want to stop?"
"No. Not yet."
"Okay,"
Natasha kissed the corner of your mouth. It was so innocent. She kissed your cheeks, and then your forehead, and the tip of your nose. Her lips brushed against yours as she spoke, "I'll try to be easy. But I'm not promising anything."
"Okay,"
She pressed the toy against your clit again. The vibrations were soft, but you were already sensitive.
"Oh God," You groaned.
"Too much?"
"No, keep going,"
Natasha moved the toy from your clit to your entrance. She pressed the toy inside you. The stretch was nice and you clenched around the object.
"Shit," You arched your back. With your legs and feet bound you couldn't move as much as you wanted. She removed the toy to place it at your clit again, readjusting your hips, before allowing the vibrator to rest there. Your hips twitched.
"Fuck,"
"Good?"
"Mmmhm," You nodded.
She kept the vibrator at a slow pace, watching as your eyes fluttered. She loved seeing you like this. Helpless.
"You look so pretty, baby,"
You were too busy concentrating on the pleasurable sensations to respond.
She reached over to the nightstand, taking the camcorder in her hand to get a closer look. Her rule of keeping your faces out of it had gone out of the window. She wanted to capture everything about you that made you sexy.
"Open your eyes," She whispered.
You listened, opening your eyes and staring up at her. Her hair was mussed and her lips were plump and shiny. Her breasts heaved with every breath she took.
"You're so beautiful," You told her.
She blushed, smiling, "Flattery will get you nowhere."
"You're the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen,"
"Sweet talker," She said. She directed the camcorder to your face, focusing on your lips. Then she directed it to your breasts hard and shiny with her saliva, the toy, and the apex of your thighs.
"How are you doing?"
"Feels good, Tasha,"
"You look like you're having a good time,"
Your only response was a nod.
"Can I go harder?"
"Please."
She turned the vibrator up. The sensation was overwhelming. Your toes curled. You didn't know what to focus on. The toy, her stare, or the camera.
"Jesus, Tasha," You cursed. The sensations felt overwhelming yet so damn good.
"How many times do you think I can make you cum?" She asked.
"Fuck, Tasha. I-I don't know,"
"I think I can get at least three."
"Shit, I-" You couldn't finish your thought, the orgasm hitting you out of nowhere. You hadn't realized how close you were.
"Oh fuck, Tasha." You moaned. Your thighs tried to close but they were tied down, your pussy pulsed, and you arched your back, the toy only pressing into your clit the more you bore down.
"God, look at you," Natasha murmured.
When the pleasure finally subsided, you were a panting mess. You couldn't speak, not that you could even if you tried.
"Are you okay?"
"Uh-huh."
"Did you like that?"
"Mmm."
"You came so hard, baby." She placed the camera down again. "Can you give me another one?" She pushed the toy back to your entrance, thrusting it into you.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck, Nat." You were hypersensitive, but the pleasure was worth the ache.
"Does it hurt?"
"A little,"
"I can stop,"
"No, please don't,"
"What's the magic word?"
"Please,"
"Good girl," She praised.
Natasha was rough, her thrusts unrelenting. She was focused on nothing else but the way you moaned and squirmed, the way you cried out. Her nails scraped against your belly, digging into your sides.
"Fuuuuck," You keened.
"God, you're so perfect, baby."
You couldn't even respond, you were too consumed with the ecstasy. She reached for the camera again, recording your flushed and sweaty face.
"I love you," She told you.
"L-love y-you too," You gasped.
"I'm gonna make you cum again. Are you ready?"
"Yeah,"
She thrust the toy in and out of you.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck," You chanted. Your thighs trembled and your hips jerked, but she kept them in place with her free hand.
"Open your legs," She demanded as you struggled against your restraints. You did as told and she repositioned the toy. She turned it up to the highest setting.
"Tasha, Tasha, oh God,"
"Just let go," She urged.
Your eyes squeezed shut and your jaw fell open. Natasha's voice was distant as the blood pounded in your ears. It was too much.
"I-I-I'm gon-gonna,"
"Go ahead, baby."
You came. Your vision went white, your body seized, and you cried out.
"Shit, baby," Natasha cursed.
The waves of pleasure hit you again and again. It felt like an eternity before the high began to fade. She allowed you to come down this time, watching as your chest heaved, before she placed the camera down again.
"What's your color?"
"G-green."
"Good. Can I get another one? I'll be gentle."
You were exhausted, but the thought of her bringing you to another climax was too tempting.
"Yes,"
Natasha removed the toy from your entrance. You felt empty. She crawled over you, straddling you, reaching down to expose her clit. She positioned herself just above your pelvis bone.
"Ready?"
"Mmmhm,"
She rubbed her clit against you, grinding her hips. It wasn't about getting you off this time. She needed to chase her own orgasm. And, well, you had to admit that it felt really fucking good.
"F-fuck," Natasha moaned. Oh, how you wished you could touch her. She spread her wetness over you, her juices mingling with yours, as she dripped.
"You feel so good, baby,"
Her hips jerked and stuttered, and you could tell she was close. She placed her hands on your shoulders, effectively pinning you down, as she used you for her pleasure. She rutted against you harder, faster, her clit catching the right spot, and she came.
"Shit," She gasped. Her mouth was parted, her head falling back. She rode out her orgasm before her body collapsed. She buried her face in your neck, still breathing heavily.
"You're amazing," You praised, "So good. So pretty."
Natasha smiled, kissing your shoulder, before laying her head on you.
"Are you going to untie me now?" You asked.
"In a minute." She breathed. It was almost like something else entirely came over her. "You're like my doll." She mused.
"Am I?"
"Mmm, my favorite plaything." She said. "I could just fuck you all night if I wanted. Make you come until you beg me to stop." She leaned up, planting a kiss against your lips. Then another one. And another.
"I would let you, if you wanted,"
"That's good. Cause I'm not done." She said, "I'll never be done with you. You're mine."
"I am," You agreed. She reached up to untie you, massaging your wrists.
"Turn over," She demanded.
You were exhausted.
"It'll feel good. I promise."
You rolled over onto your stomach.
"Are you okay?"
"Green,"
"Good,"
Natasha positioned her body against yours, her breasts resting on your back.
"I'm going to fuck you so good," She whispered. You could tell by her fumbling around that she'd gotten the strap. A rare occasion for her to wear it. You guess for your sex tape it would be appropriate.
For the next few minutes, Natasha treated you like a doll. She used her strength to position you, your face resting against the pillows, as she forced you to arch with your ass in the air, perfectly ready for her. She rubbed the toy against your wet slit.
"Ready, baby?"
"Fuck, please."
"Mmm, that's a good girl."
Natasha thrust into you. You were a bit overstimulated. Her thrusts were rough and the angle allowed her to hit deeper. You didn't know if you'd be able to handle it. But she promised you would feel good. You trusted her.
"Fuck," She cursed, "You're so tight, sweetheart."
"Tasha,"
"I got you."
She thrust harder. Faster. One of her hands moved to grip your hip, the other tangling in your hair.
"Shit, shit, shit," You whined. The slight ache had turned into something new. You felt so full and hot. The pleasure was so intense that you could feel it at your fingertips.
"You take me so good, baby. So fucking good."
"Fuck,"
"You look so beautiful, all tied up and fucked out,"
"Mm,"
She opened your ass cheeks, never stopping her thrusting but to spit on the puckered hole.
"Tasha,"
"Shh, I'm taking care of you,"
Natasha's finger probed the area before pushing in. The feeling was new. Her thrusting became softer and the pace slowed but never stopped.
"Does it feel good?"
"Fuck, fuck, fuck, feels so good, Tasha. Oh, fuck."
"I knew you could handle it,"
She used her other hand to take control of your hips, all you could do was grab onto the sheets, as you laid open-mouthed.
"I'm gonna make you cum again."
"Yes,"
"Yes what?"
"Make me cum. Please."
Natasha leaned down to rest against your back. Her breath was hot and the added weight made you feel pinned. It was the last push you needed. Your body seized and you cried out. Your eyes fluttered, but she didn't stop.
"Tasha, wait, it's-"
"It's okay. I'm not done."
The pleasure was blinding. It hurt. But it was the most satisfying pain. Natasha pulled her finger out, changing hands and reaching down to rub your clit.
"Shit, fuck,"
"Good?"
"Mmhm,"
"Are you going to cum again?"
"Mm, I can't."
"You can," She insisted.
Her movements were sloppy, and you were sure the bed would collapse soon.
"Cum for me," She begged.
"Fuck, Nat, oh God, I-I'm-I'm-fuck, fuck,"
You came. Your orgasm is more intense this time. Your hips moved of their own accord, not knowing whether to push her away or keep her close. Natasha's thrust never faltered.
"One more, sweetheart. Come on."
"Tasha," You sobbed, "I can't,"
"Yes, you can,"
Her thrusts got slower, shallower.
"Breathe," She said, leaning over to whisper in your ear. Her thrusts slowed. She ground into your ass, drilling the cock into you, while her fingers toyed with your clit.
"That's it, baby. Just let go."
Your body went rigid, and a scream caught in your throat, as the orgasm ripped through you. You collapsed. Your legs gave out. You couldn't think. Natasha fucked you through it as she sweet-talked you.
"I know baby," She said. "I know your pussy feels so good right now. It's what you needed." She eventually slowed her hips.
"Thank you," You slurred, barely able to stay awake.
"No, thank you," She laughed.
Natasha pulled the cock out, undoing your restraints.
"You were so perfect."
"I feel drunk." You sighed. She leaned over to kiss your back, rubbing your ass cheeks, and pressing her thumb against your hole. She wanted more but she knew tonight this was your limit.
"Tasha,"
"I love you."
"Love you, too,"
(if you know how many times Natasha made R cum you get a cookie)
396 notes · View notes
sweatervest-obsessed · 2 months ago
Text
Last, Last Time (alternate ending)
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader (she/her pronouns)
WC: ~8.2k
TW: Angst, guns, violence, mentions of domestic violence, blood, swearing, depression, kidnapping, manipulation, self-deprecating thoughts, heartbreak, arguing, the grieving process, drinking, screaming, crying, being under pressure, and anything else that comes with a criminal minds episode.
a/n: based on S15 E6 - first date. I love u aubrey plaza <3. Also inspired by the song Last, Last Time by Boys Go To Jupiter.
hey guys! some people had asked me about a happy ending version of this, and I've never really written an alternate ending before, I was struggling with whether I wanted this to be good angst or not, so having been swayed....here is the alternate ending!
Original Spencer Masterlist
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“Spencer I won’t—I can’t keep doing this. I’m sick of arguing in circles.” 
“Y/n
”
“I-I feel like you take me for fucking granted Spencer. All I do is work and then come home and wait for you to actually be able to, I don’t know, sleep in the same bed as me for more than four hours.”
The look in his eyes almost took you out but your heart had already been broken long, long before this argument. If anything, you were starting to feel this sense of freedom as you broke his heart. 
“Please. Y/n. Just–I don’t—Just give me a few days to convince Hotch to let me have some time off and we can work on this please.” 
“Wait for the potential of us?” 
Spencer’s jaw loosened. You couldn’t read beyond the initial layer of pain and confusion, which made your chest ache since not too long ago you could have been able to find everything you needed in his expression.
“God Spencer this can’t be fucking news to you. We’ve been drifting apart for months now.” 
“I know, I know. You have been so patient with me and I’ve just been
.there was that whole thing with Cat and then
.I-I was trying so hard y/n
”
“No, first there was that whole thing with Maeve.”
“That’s not fair—”
“Oh that’s not fair? Really? You’re going to tell me the entire Maeve thing isn’t fair to you?”
“I’m sorry.”
You sighed and closed your eyes. “I’m not saying you weren’t trying but come one Spencer. There’s no need to deny this shit anymore. I hate it when you lie to me about these kinds of things.” 
Spencer’s hand came up to his face and it dragged down, aging him significantly with the fatigue written all over his face. 
“So you’re just going to pack up everything, break my heart, and leave? Were you even going to say goodbye, or was I going to come home to an empty home and no note
” 
“I-I don’t know Spencer. I just don’t
” 
The tears were starting to creep in, and you had to place the box down before you lost it.
“This isn’t easy for me either
” Your chest heaved. 
The both of you stood in silence, tension simmering surrounding the both of you like heat on a summer’s eve. Neither of you could really look at one another, but it felt wrong to look at anything else. Something was missing but you couldn’t say it outloud. You knew you would always love Spencer Reid but this time it was not enough. 
“I’m tired of arguing Spencer.” 
Your eyes met his. You felt Spencer’s arms around you before you could even feel the tears hit your cheeks. Your arms immediately went to his neck, so familiar. No longer home. 
Spencer’s voice muttered into your ear. “Don’t cry Jolie. It’ll be okay..” 
About three years ago, Spencer had decided that he didn’t like that you had nicknames for him, and he had none for you. He spent weeks workshopping different ones : Sugar, Honey, Pumpkin, Sweetheart, Darlin, Pookie, Lover, Sunny (like sunshine), Sunshine—it was a wild week trying to figure out who he was talking to. Then one day, offhandedly, he was trying to tell you about this french film he had been watching, and trying to get Emily to watch with him. 
He called you ‘tres jolie’, and blushing you had asked him what it meant. He told you it meant pretty. 
And it stuck. 
Now? It stung. 
All you could do was squeeze tightly onto him, not ready to let go.
“You’re so pretty when you’re lying through your teeth.” You whispered after a few moments, pulling away out of his arms. 
“I.” You swallow and step back, out of his reach. “Maybe I’ll.” 
Spencer just looked up at the ceiling, trying to hold in the tears that were streaming down his face. 
You grabbed the last box on the counter and your keys, and walked out, for the last time. 
You awoke in your bed, eyes adjusting to the complete darkness the blackout curtains provided you. 
Another fucking night thinking about your decision those four years ago, and trying to decided whether your life had gotten better because of it.
You still weren’t sure.  
Moving to get up from the bed, you decided to leave the curtains closed for now, feeling as if you could melt from the sun touching you. 
You turned on the bathroom light and started your morning routine. Wash face. Take meds. Brush teeth. Fix hair—
Somewhere in that process, you got lost, and just stared at yourself in the mirror. You weren’t sure for how long. All you could do was replay the last four years. 
Did you make the right choice?
Something was missing. It was missing from the spot on the couch. It was missing in the mug cabinet. It was missing in the kitchen while you played music and moved around by yourself. 
But you were happy. You have been able to throw yourself into your job, and open your own firm. You had your dream career, with some of the most amazing friends you could have asked for. 
None of which you would have met if you stayed with him. 
Maybe it was true what they say, you can only have a career or love, but not both.
The only thing taking you out of this spiral was the ringer on your phone going off. 
This caused some hesitation because your phone’s ringer was always off––the loud noise startling you. There were only a few people who had that emergency bypass, and none of them had called you in four years. 
You peaked out of the bathroom and saw the name light up on your phone. 
Emily Prentiss
__________________________________________________________________________
The door to the round room opened up and in walked Spencer Reid. “Catch me up.” 
Prentiss clicked the remote, and the TV lit up with a picture of a woman smirking facing the camera while holding a gun up to another one next to her. “Early this morning, Garcia got an email from an anonymous server.”
The second woman was tied up, mouth slightly open, and eyes filled with tears, while a man on the other side just had his eyes closed, tired. . 
Spencer just stared at the photo. 
Rossi nodded at the picture. “She's not obscuring her face, telling us she's got nothing to hide.”
He never pulled focus away from the screen, mouth dry at the thought of what today was about to be.“Any ideas on the unsub?”
“No.” Prentiss sighed. “Only the unsub's demand. That we release Catherine Adams in 24 hours.  I'm having her transferred here for questioning, but we have no illusions. This is just a game to her. We know that. The question is, do we want to play it or not?”
______________________________________________________________________________
Receiving a call from the FBI was not entirely new to you, since you had been engaged to one of their agents, but receiving one now? Something was deeply wrong from them to have to send you a call. 
You hesitantly pick up the phone. “Hello?”
“Hey Y/n, it’s Emily Prentiss—“
“I know who you are, Emily. It’s been a couple years, not millions.” 
Emily hummed a brief laughter, and you could hear other voices behind her, unable to make out anything. 
“I know this is hard to ask of you, but would you stay on the phone with me and come in?” 
“What?” 
“I need you to stay very calm Y/n, but I need you to stay on the line with me, leave your apartment as soon as you can, and drive to the BAU.” 
“Uh, yeah Em. I’m so sorry, I, uh, I completely forgot about our plans today. Let me get ready, and I’ll be there as soon as I can. Are we still meeting at your place or did you have a different location in the city?” 
“We’ll be at Quantico.” 
Your entire tone changed, having remembered what Spencer had told you all those years ago about if people were listening into your apartment, if they bugged your car—all paranoia that didn’t pay off then, might be paying off now. 
You were sure you could hear Emily sigh, and it sounded a little upset at the fact that you knew what to do–you knew how to handle a dangerous situation, which made her question everything in her life. 
Quickly you pulled on a pair of jeans and threw a sweatshirt over your pajama top and grabbed your keys off of the counter. 
Today was already stressful enough, what was the point of adding a bra. 
You left your apartment, waved to one of your neighbors, and hopped into your car, still on the line, just trying not to panic. Maybe something went wrong, maybe Spencer wasn’t okay, maybe he had died—you refused to even acknowledge that thought and decided it was something else entirely. 
It was a very tense hour of driving, that was only about forty since you knew how to drive above the speed limit. 
You realized that it was past midday, and you had taken full advantage of the weekend. So at least you had a decent amount of sleep under your belt for what felt like the beginning of an extraneous night. 
As you pulled into the parking garage, Emily Prentiss and someone you had never met before were standing there waiting for you. You placed your car in park, hopped out and walked up to them–only hanging up as soon as you were out of the car. 
Both of them have such grim looks on their faces, but at least they were trying to pretend like the situation wasn’t as bad as it appeared.
Emily engulfed you in a hug. “Missed you Y/n. It’s been too long.” 
“Well Em, next time I break up with someone I’ll consider your feelings first.” You squeezed her back, dryly laughing at your own joke. At least it caused Emily to snort. 
“Y/n this is SSA Luke Alvez. Luke, this is Y/n Y/l/n.”
“It’s nice to meet you.” He gave a small smile and nodded at you.
“I wish it were under different circumstances.” You looked over at Emily.
“Let’s head inside?” 
You nodded and the three of you moved inside. 
Sure, you hadn’t been here in a while, but you knew your way to the BAU Bullpen if your life depended on it, which was ironic since that was what this kinda felt like. 
As soon as you were safely in their round table room, Luke shut the door, and stood by it, Emily coming and sitting down next to you. 
“What do you know about Cat Adams?” 
That bitch. 
______________________________________________________________________________
“I would like to go on a date. With you.” 
Spencer stared at her, face stoic as ever. “A date?”
“Yes. I want to look pretty. And I want to have fun.” She looked him up and down. “And I won't even get physical, ok? Unless you want me to.”
Spencer sat down across from her. “Come here. Closer.”
Cat leaned in, a small smile on her face, absolutely intoxicated by being so close to him.
“The only date that I'll be there for is the one where they stick a needle in your vein.”
Cat scoffed. “You're just going to let her father and sister die? I don't think so.”
“I never said it was a father and daughter. You're already slipping.” He stood up from the table. “We'll find them. We always do.”
Cat leaned back and crossed her arms. “Not tonight. Tonight I win.”
His resolution had yet to change, “The score between me and you is two to zero. By tomorrow morning, it'll be a clean sweep. Enjoy eternal nothingness. It's a metaphor for your life.” 
And with that, the door slammed shut behind him.
______________________________________________________________________________
Both the profilers watched a series of emotions run rampant across your face, before you settled on a somewhat displeased smile. “A lot.” 
They exchanged a look, and you didn’t have the energy to pretend like you didn’t know what it was. 
“Don’t start with me today Emily. I know what you’re doing. Ask me the questions you want to ask. Don’t try to trick me into giving the answers you want. Don’t profile me.” 
Part of being engaged to a profiler meant you picked up on some of their own quirks. Which meant you saw Alvez bite his tongue and try to hide his smile. And you noticed that Emily, on the other hand, hid her smile a bit better but it was still there.
She nodded and pulled a file from across the table. “I’m assuming you know the basics since she, uh, is obsessed with Spencer.”
“Glad to see he still has that going for him.” You muttered and looked into the file. 
Emily shot Luke a look when he let out a huff or air, trying his damndest not to laugh. 
“What is the last thing you know about her?” 
You recounted the days leading up to the restaurant, and then the few days after, decidedly stopping short of the engagement breaking off a week later. 
They shared another look, and you didn’t enjoy whatever it was that had moved across their faces. 
“What happened?” 
“Y/n..”
“No Emily, I drove all the way from DC to Quantico on the phone, I deserve to know what happened.” 
Emily then begins to explain to you the past four years of Reid’s life. Cat pretending she was pregnant with his kid in prison, kidnapping his mother, framing him for murder in Mexico, going to prison—
“Spencer went to prison and none of you thought to call me
.”
“We didn’t think you’d–” 
“I’m a fucking criminal defense attorney in DC Emily. Of course I’d want to know if he was arrested, especially internationally. I know that law better than all of you. If someone I knew was kidnapped, I’d call you immediately. Faster than the cops.” 
Both of them went silent. 
“So is he out?” 
They nodded slowly, silently. 
“How long was he in there?”
Nothing. 
“I asked. How. Long.”
Luke spoke up. “Three months.” 
“Jesus christ.” You stood up and started to pace around the room, taking the time you needed to calm down. 
Why didn’t Spencer call you?
Well you knew why Spencer wouldn’t call you. 
“Okay so he’s out.” You said finally. “Why am I here—He didn’t start
.did he?” 
Emily shook her head. “He’s actually been really good about it.” She said softly, trying to calm you down. 
You started fidgeting with your rign finger; a habit you have picked up many years ago, and have yet to lose, even if the ring wasn’t there anymore. 
“Cat’s execution is coming up.” Emily started, trying to get you back on track. “And we
.we found out that she’s convinced one of her former cellmates to kidnap...people
close to Reid, and we knew you’d be on that list for him.” 
“She already ruined that relationship years ago, she won that one. Why would she bring me back into it?” You sat down and looked down at the file on the table. You had never really seen a photo of her before, doing your best to avoid all of the media surrounding her arrest. 
She was very pretty, that much was certain. 
Just as you went to say something else, JJ knocked on the door, another blonde woman behind her. 
They entered and JJ gave you a small, yet genuine smile. 
You returned it, but quickly shifted your gaze onto the woman behind. 
Your whole body shifted slightly, into a place of defense, locking your emotions down. You knew all the profilers were watching it happen in real time, which is why Emily very casually put a hand on your knee under the table. 
“Would someone like to tell me what is going on here?” 
Your head turned as you looked over to Emilt, bewildered by this woman and her, well, bewilderment. 
JJ walked over and sat down on the other side of you. “Uh, Max, this is Unit Cheif Emily Prentiss and SSA Luke Alvez.” She pursed her lips before looking over at you. “And this is another one of the victims affected by Cat Adams, Y/n Y/l/n.” 
Max had crossed her arms and nodded. “Victims?” 
You quickly onced her over, a slightly unimpressed look crossing your features. “People close to Spencer get fucked over a lot.” This came out with a sigh attached to it. 
Max almost scoffed, but you watched as she nodded. “And how do you know Spencer?” 
Your eyes met with Emily’s really quickly. 
Emily looked over at Max. “She’s
”
“I’m Spencer’s ex-fiancĂ©.”
It felt better to let this poor girl know, but somehow saying the words out loud left the most rotten taste in your mouth. 
Watching Max’s defenses go up in real time was a little sobering.
At least Spencer’s taste in partners with attitude hadn’t changed. 
______________________________________________________________________________
“Victimology is off.”
“How so?” Prentiss looked up at him as he walked into the room. 
“Father and daughter. She’s never done that before.” 
Lewis spoke up. “She usually kills men that remind her of her father. Children–even adult children, are off limits. Do we have an ID yet.” 
Prentiss, Rossi, Garcia, and JJ all looked over at Reid, and he just pulled a hand down his face. “It’s
It’s Issac and Noelle Y/l/n.” 
“Y/l/n
as is Y/n Y/l/n.” Tara looked up surprised at Spencer. 
Reid nodded slowly, just staring at the picture on the projector.
While Luke spoke up. “Who is Y/n Y/l/n.” 
“An old friend.” Rossi quickly interjected, before any more explanation had to be said. It was clear both Alvez and Simmons, that whoever this was, was an extremely touchy subject for Reid. 
Tara, who had only known you for a little while, looked back at the picture. 
Rossie spoke up. “What do we know about the partner who’s helping her?” 
“It’s got to be someone from her prison.” Simmons spoke up. “She hasn’t had contact with anyone else?” 
______________________________________________________________________________
After all of that, you found yourself back in a place you swore you left for the last time. It looked almost the same as when you had first moved out, but there was less of it. 
Almost as if he was having trouble covering places where things used to be.
There were almost no photos on the walls, since you were half of them, and had taken the rest. 
Calling someone you once loved a stranger feels wrong. 
Max was just sitting on the couch in your spot. She was looking around as you and Rossi stood by the kitchen counter. 
She had, understandably, decided she was not your biggest fan.
“Cat had a cellmate named Juliette Weaver. We believe the two were working together, as a way for Cat to get something against Spencer, and as payment, Cat would hurt Juliette’s ex.”
You nodded. “How does this affect me?” 
“She took your father and sister.” 
Your back straightened and immediately brought out your phone, to call your sister, but Rossi just placed a hand on your phone and shook his head. “If she finds out you know, then it’s all over. She’s doing this on purpose. She knows about you and Reid, but she knows that dragging you into all of this will hurt him more than anything else.” 
His voice had gone low and quiet, so that the girl on the couch couldn’t hear. JJ, who was on the couch, talking to Max, looked like she was trying to block out whatever conversation was happening in the kitchen. 
“So why is she here?” You whispered back. 
“Because we don’t want anyone in danger, and it’s better for us if we have eyes on both of you” 
You closed your eyes and nodded. “I need a cup of tea.” 
Rossi nodded, and placed your phone on the counter, and you walked into the kitchen,eyes closed from the stress of the situation. 
The apartment went silent, watching as you grabbed a kettle, and started to make tea. It was like second nature to you as you turned the stovetop on, grabbed a mug from the cabinet (careful to not grab one of his favorites), and grabbed some tea from the cabinet. 
It didn’t dawn on you that you were drinking your favorite type of tea until the second sip, while the entire apartment was still silent. 
The pity from JJ and Rossi was palpable. 
The disbelief from Max was a boulder on you back, like Atlas transferring the world to your shoulders. 
“Don’t even start.” You muttered, moving to sit down back next to Rossi on the kitchen stools. 
He shrugged and stayed silent. 
That is, until JJ’s walkie went off and she looked at Max. “It’s time. Let’s go.” 
Rossi looked over at you and gave you a quick hug, squeezing you tightly. “You’ve got this kid. Remember everything we talked about.” 
You nodded and gave both agents a strained smile as they left the apartment, taking Max with them, leaving you all alone in this place you once called home.
Never once, since you left, did you think you would ever be back here. You didn’t even realize you were drinking from one of your own mugs until it was just you. The irony of it was not lost on you, and you sat down in your spot on the couch. 
Well first you sat in Spencer’s seat but it felt too weird, so you shifted back into your spot on the couch. 
______________________________________________________________________________
“Juliette staked out in Reid’s life. Found out he was dating someone, but then must have discovered his ex-fiancĂ©e.” Simmons sighed. “He was probably so focused on Max, he didn’t even realize that someone was digging into his history, following them around.”
Prentiss nodded as they walked and talked. “But if Juliette was able to find Max, that meant she was easily able to find Y/n and her family. Plus, Y/n is not that hard to find—she’s a prominent public attorney in DC. That means Juliette must’ve had access to all of her publicly available information. “
“Well at least we found their hidden agenda.” 
“No. We found Cat’s hidden agenda. Juliette doesn’t care about Reid. There’s something we’re missing here. Do a deep dive with Garcia.” 
Simmons nodded at Prentis. “On it.” 
“I’ll go to Reid's apartment and monitor onsite. Is there a trap and trace on his landline?” 
“Garcia’s almost set up.” Simmons walked away from Prentiss, and down towards Penelope’s office. 
“Well this went from bad to worse.” Tara walked up to Emily. 
Emily sighed in agreement. 
Lewis spoke up. “Female narcissists destroy their competition. Y/n really shouldn’t be in there.” 
Emily just nodded and the two of them headed out of the bullpen. “Walk with me.” 
Tara kept stride with her as they pushed through the doors. Rossi was just getting off the phone with someone and turned to look at the two women approaching him and JJ. 
JJ spoke up when Rossi was finished. “So, the hospital just released the dad– Issac Y/l/n. He's on his way here now.
Rossi scoffed. “Question is, why let him go at all?”
“Matt's on that.” Emily gestures in the direction of Garcia’s office. “Juliette Weaver's real agenda should tell us where she's taking Y/n’s younger sister.”
Lewis spoke next. “I still think the play here is to get Cat and Juliette to contact each other, but I have no idea how.”
Prentiss crossed her arms. “I have a plan, but first we have to talk about Y/n.” 
______________________________________________________________________________
Just then, you heard the click of the door, and stood up, watching as the door swung open. 
And there he was. 
This was the first time you had seen Spencer in four years. 
And there he was, kissing Catherine Adams. 
The woman you could give partial credit to for ending your relationship. 
After a moment Spencer looked up, and took several steps away from Cat. His eyes were wide and locked on yours. 
It took a lot of self-restraint to not punch the lights out of Cat, and to stand still arms crossed. 
“Y/n?” Spencer’s voice broke a little bit. 
You never would say that Spencer was unattractive. In fact, it would be a lie if you ever even thought about it. But something about the past four years aged him like a fine wine. 
His hair was a bit longer, he had some scruff—his baby face had melted away and standing in front of you was a man who you thought you knew everything about, but was now a stranger. 
You didn’t answer him, watching as he took you in, standing in his apartment, for the first time since

“What are you doing here?” Spencer’s voice cracked.
You looked over at Cat, who had the most devious smirk on her face. 
Remember what Prentiss had said to you. 
“You know why I’m here.” 
Cat nodded and the two of them moved into the apartment, the door closing behind them. 
Spencer just stood ten feet away from you, eyes never leaving you, and you watched him right back. 
Cat, on the other hand, was walking around, examining the apartment. You could see her take notice of the tea you had made yourself on the counter. You could see the hatred from the corner of your eyes. The two of you were starting to piss her off. 
She spoke up, after a few moments of silence. “Did it make you mad that I was kissing your FiancĂ©?” 
You shook your head. “No.”
Your focus had fully turned to Cat, but you swore you swore you could hear Spencer take a sharp inhale as you spoke your next words.
“Well, he's not my fiancĂ© and I kind of have some other things on my mind.”
Cat didn’t scare you, but there was just something so off-putting about her. “Like what?” 
“Are you gonna hurt Noelle?”
Cat shrugged. “Not if I don't have to, no. Honestly, if she follows instructions, she might even learn from this whole experience.”
You scoffed. “What does that mean?”
Cat just started fiddling with the chess set on the dresser. 
“Spencer, what does she mean?” You turned to look back at him, his name feeling so good on your tongue. 
Spencer, who really hadn’t stopped looking at you and sighed. “She means that Noelle isn’t learning from her, but from Juliette.” 
You sat down in your spot on the couch, eyes closed, trying not to let Cat (or Spencer) see how truly upset you were starting to feel.  
Spencer noticed where you sat and had to look down to conceal any notions of a smile on his face. 
Cat watched him before turning and looking at you, more disdain on her face than before. 
“Normally, Spencie and I, we spend our time together playing games, but tonight, I've brought you all here to make a point. You are doing so much better.” 
Spencer spoke up. “With you?”
“Without you.” Cat snapped at him. “Besides, I’m not talking to you Spencie, I'm talking to her.”
She turned to face you. “Because, girlfriend, you need to know the truth about your fiancĂ©.” 
“He's not my finacĂ©.” You were unsure about how many more times you could say that outloud. 
“No kidding. When’s the last time you spoke? Right
” Cat walked over to the center of the room, right in front of the couch. “Here?” 
Your head whipped around to Spencer. “You told her about that?”
Spencer was pleading with his eyes. “I had to say a lot of things tonight.”
Cat’s voice caused your head to snap back to her. “Yes, he has. He said that you never compared to me, that, um... That no matter what, he will never get me out of his mind, unlike you. Unlike that girlfriend.” 
You tried not to wince at the mention of that girl Maxine out in one of the trucks.
Spencer sat down next to you. “Everything I said—I was lying to save your family.”
Cat scoffed. “Did our kiss look like a lie?” 
“No.” You locked eyes with Cat, almost challenging her. 
She seemed to enjoy it.
“Thank you. See, now we're getting to the heart of the matter.” Cat started mocking Spencer. “You see, everyone thinks that Dr. Spencer Reid is... Is just this nice, bookish, uh, genius who, uh, always saves the day and has all the answers. And has zero mommy issues, right? But, um... I know the real him.” 
“Oh, yeah? Who's the real me, Cat?” 
“The real Spencer Reid throws women against walls. And hisses that he's going to kill them.” 
Spencer stood up, squaring off against her.  “That was a very different situation.”
“No, it wasn't.” Cat was holding the smirk back this time, making your gut wretch. 
“Spencer
What is she talking about?” You looked from the psychopath in front of you, to Spencer, poor Spencer who has spent the entire day entertaining her.
“You tell her. She's not gonna believe it coming from me.” She huffed. 
“Cat..”
“Do it.” She hissed, eyeswide with hints of threate.
Reid turned and looked at you, his mouth dry and body stiff. “Two years ago, Cat had her partner kidnap my mother. Just like tonight. She got under my skin and
”
Your chest hurt. “And you threw her against a wall?” 
Cat’s smirk was breaking through whatever resolve she had. “Don't skimp on the details, Spencie. She deserves to know everything.”
Every single time she said Spencie you swore it was harder to not deck her in the face. 
Spencer looked down at his hands, and then over at you. His voice had gotten quieter. “She was pregnant at the time and I knew that when I hurt her.” 
“And?” She stood there expectantly, waiting for Spencer to finish. When he didn’t, her face suddenly became solemn. “The next day... I miscarried. The end.”
Spencer looked at her. “That's not true.” 
Youre eyes went wide. “What?”
They just continued to argue over you.
“It is most certainly true. Check my medical records.” 
“That doesn't mean I-I would
”
Cat held up her hand to him. “Stop. Look.”
Spencer looked over at you, just sitting on the couch, trying to process everything that was going through your head. 
After thinking about everything you had gone through, especially with Spencer. “I thought you were better than that Spence.” 
It was the first time you had used a nickname for him in years. And he was hearing it for the first time while you were stuck in a standoff between himself and Cat Adams, your sister being god knows where. 
Spencer’s voice cracked. “I'm sorry.” 
Cat squatted down in front of you, a sick smile on her lips. She was enjoying this. She truly enjoyed watching his life crumble to bits. “Notice how your Spencie is apologizing to you and not me.”
You clenched your hands. “He’s not mine
”
Spencer just looked over at you. 
Cat nodded. “That's good. Because men are all the same. Aren't they, Jolie?” 
Spencer’s eyes lit up with an emotion you rarely saw from him when you were together. “Don't call her that.”
And you couldn’t blame him. The word ran you through like a spear and you were sure if you looked behind you, the blade would be through the couch. You tried so hard to not let either of the two people near you see how much it messed with you. You couldn’t believe Spencer had told her that. Luckily for you, Cat was too busy pushing Spencer’s buttons to see the way her words won against you. 
Cat hissed at him. “What, are you gonna throw me against a wall and choke me, or do you only do that to pregnant women?” 
You finally spoke up. “Why are you doing this?”
“Because I want you to see it.” She gestured to Spencer. “I want you to see that he is...no better than he was before, or any man after. They’re all the same.” 
“Stop.”
Cat squatted down in front of you. “I can see it on your face. What's his name?” 
You stared back at her. “It's none of your business.”
That damned smirk of hers returned. “It is exactly my business. In fact, it's my specialty. I mean, I could have Juliette and baby sister go over there if you want. They could take care of him.” 
Reid looked over at you. “Say yes. Give her what she wants.” 
“Hmm. See, he wants you to get me to make a little phone call so they can trace it.” She moved away from you both and sat down in the lounging chair across from you. “They're so good, the FBI.”
You jumped up and started pacing, a spitting image of four years ago, unable to look at Spencer. “What is wrong with the two of you? What is this sick, twisted thing that you have? Listen, I just want to save my sister. Will you please just tell me what I have to do to do that?” 
“Tell me his name. Tell me the story. That's it. And then if they can let Juliette exit stage right, then I promise you I will let her go.”
You looked between Cat and Spencer before walking over to the kitchen, and hanging up the phone. After staring down at the decision you had just made, you walked back over and took your phone out. “Here. Use this. Use my phone. They can't trace it.”
She just watched you. “You'd be surprised.”
“I don't even need a call. Just... just a photo.” You held the phone out to her. “Something to prove to me that she's still alive. Please”. 
Cat just looked up at your face. “Story first.”
“Y/n. Please.” Spencer turned to you, hoping you’d look back at him. “I have been here with her before. She called the number and told the partner to kill my mom.”
“It is so tricky, isn't it? I mean, who are you gonna trust? The lying, cheating, violent psychopath... Or me?”
You looked down at the ground, refusing to look over at Spencer. “His
His name was Mike Davis. We dated for about two years. I met him a month after we
we split.”
Cat’s attention on you felt as if there were a million bees stinging your body all at different intervals, pain coursing through your body. “Good. When did it end?” 
“Last year.” 
“Was he good in bed?” 
Spencer stood up. “Shut up.” 
Cat was enjoying this. She was enjoying watching you make Spencer uncomfortable. She was enjoying hurting him in every masochistic way she could. “What? You have to know where you stand.”
“He was good
” You looked back at Cat. “Good at, um, separating me from my friends and my family. Enough that the first time he punched me in the face, I didn't have anywhere to go. And my first response was "I'm sorry, Mike." A fucking defense attorney apologizing to someone when they got hit. That's when he knew he had me.”
There was a glint in Spencer’s eyes, and you could swear they were tears, but you couldn’t tell from rage or sorrow. 
Cat continued to probe. “How many hospital visits were there?” 
You showed her a small scar on the inside of your elbow. “None. No, he... He knew how to hurt me just enough to hide it all, I guess. I never missed a day of work.”  
“But you found the strength to leave. What did you do?” 
“ I
”
“Tell me.”
“I planned. I planned and then I waited.”
Cat’s eyes lit up. “Waited for what? “
“I live here in D.C.” You looked between Spencer and Cat. “But I'm also a resident in Virginia. It takes 60 days for the permit to clear, but because I-I know some people
it was sooner.”
Spencer’s eyes widened. “Y/n, stop talking. Stop talking right now.”
Cat shushed him. “No, don't stop. Here. Give me the phone. Look, I'm gonna enter the text. Stick the landing and I'll hit send."
You handed her the phone and she quickly typed out a message, her thumb hovering over send. 
Fiddling with your ring finger, you started to speak again. Slowly. Concisely. “When I was ready, I picked a fight. Loud enough for the neighbors to hear. And he came at me with his fist just cocked back, so I pulled my Glock 19 out of my purse. I shot him.”
Spencer tried to interject. “It was self-defense. He was attacking you—”
“That's what I told 911 as he was struggling to breathe on his kitchen floor. That's why the police never charged me. I’m a lawyer, I know how to plead.” You closed your eyes. “But I... after I hung up, I... I shot him two more times.” 
Cat was glowing, spinning around to face Spencer. “Wow, you really have a type, don't you? Quite a dilemma, too. She just admitted to murder.” 
Spencer was in disbelief. “She'll beat it.” . 
“Probably. But whatever feelings she might have still had for you, and whatever Maxine might have seen in you—-it’s all gone.” 
The phone in your hand buzzed.
“Oh, wow. Look at that. Your sister. Alive and well. You're welcome.” 
Your face hardened up, and you stood up straighter. Walking away from the two of them, you opened the door. “I got it.” 
Emily took the phone from your hand and you turned back to the two of them. There was no emotion behind your eyes as you looked back at Spencer. 
Cat smirked and looked up at Spencer. “I win.” 
______________________________________________________________________________
The prison transport was quiet, with the two guards sitting across from Spencer and Cat. It had been silent for about twenty minutes, but then, Cat spoke up. 
“Do you know why I did this? Why I really did this?” 
Spencer looked down at his hands. “You wanted to prove I'm a monster just like you.”
“No... Silly. I just wanted to see you again. I just wanted to make sure that you would never forget about me.” She sighed. “'Cause when they do put that needle in my arm, I just want there to be even the slightest chance that... Maybe you're still thinking about me
”
Spencer stiffened as she placed her head on his shoulder. “You didn't have to terrorize innocent people. You could've just written a letter.” 
“Would you have written me back?” 
When Spencer didn’t respond, Cat knew her answer. 
“Bye, Spencie. I really enjoyed our date.” She smiled at him desperately, getting dragged out of the vehicle by the guards to the prison. 
______________________________________________________________________________
The elevator door opened and Spencer walked out of it, his whole body reeked of defeat, and he barely looked at Emily as she spoke.  “We need to debrief.” 
“I need some time Emily.” He muttered, walking right past her and into the bullpen. His expression changed when he saw you on one side talking to Tara, and Max on the other, looking up at him right as he walked in. 
“Spencer, are you okay?” 
Her voice caught your ear, and immediately you looked up to see her walk over and embrace him in a hug. 
He stiffly smiled at her, and returned the hug before muttering that he would be back in a moment.
Watching Spencer hug her and whisper something in her ear, make your stomach lurch, and you had to turn away. 
Spencer walked over to you, and you stood up as he approached. 
“Uh, Tara, would you mind giving us
”
She nodded at him and walked away. 
Both of you went to speak, trying to say something to the other. 
“I should explain all of this.” 
Spencer shook his head. “You don’t have to explain any of that Y/n—it doesn’t.” 
You cut him off. “Spencer, please.” 
The two of you moved out and voer into the kitchen, providing a bit more privacy than before. “It was fake—most of it was fake. I didn’t kill anyone, Spence. I was just lying to her to get her to send the text from my phone. It was all
It was made up.” 
He just nodded, staring at you, eyes cloudier than a storm crossing an ocean. 
You gave him a soft smile, and gently placed a hand on his shoulder. Both of you could feel the pulse between it, but your hand stayed where it was. 
“Mike Davis is alive, and I don’t really know about well. But he
we dated for about two years and he did
he raised a fist one time but never actually
he never hit me. I threw him out that night. I’m okay.”
Spencer lets out a breath slowly, just trying to take in everything you were saying. 
Spencer watched as what little resolve you had left crumbled under his gaze, and you looked up, trying to keep the tears at bay. 
He gently wrapped his arms around you, and helf you tightly, like all those years ago. “I’m so sorry you got dragged into this.” His words melted into your skin as you wrapped your arms around him. 
After a minute of standing like this, the two of you broke apart, and one of his hands came up to your cheek, wiping away a single tear that was left. 
You took a step back, the irony of this mirror image not lost on you, and you guestered back into the bullpen. “You have
You have to talk to Max.” 
Spencer’s face dropped a little at the mention of her name and he shook his head. “I’ll
I’ll deal with her in a second. She wasn’t the one who had to face a woman who completely
.”
“Changed and fucked up what I thought my life would be. Yeah, I know. But she also cares about you.” You laughed a bit, putting back together a resolve that was nonexistent. 
“Spence, They filled me in on everything that happened between both of you in the past couple years, and they asked me if I would be willing to
help them beat her.” 
He didn’t like that you knew about everything that had gone down. He was so happy you were okay. He was a little impressed by the way you beat Cat at her own game. He was upset that you put yourself in danger. You could read him like you read one of your favorite books, knowing which emotion was coming up next. 
“They gave me an ear piece and everything.” You gave him a small smile, trying to make light of something. 
Spencer shook his head. “You’re not trained—that’s extremely dangerous of you.” 
You sighed and nodded. “Unfortunately Spencer, this is
this was the life I was used to when we were together. I knew the stakes. I mean the briefings I had with Hotch after you relapsed
” 
Spencer just clammed up and stood a bit straighter. “ I didn’t know that..”
“It was like that on purpose. I didn’t want you to think that you were a burden or too much or—I was doing it for the potential of us
” You cut yourself of, flinching at the parallels between this and your previous final conversation. 
Garcia walked over and placed a hand on Spencer’s shoulder. “I’m sorry to interrupt darlings, but I just need you both to know, Cat Adams had a miscarriage, but it was months after whatever encounter you had. It’s not your fault. We looked at her records.” She was speaking low for you both, yet both of you let out a quiet sigh of relief. 
You looked over at Garcia. “Thank you Pen.” 
Taking another small step back from Spencer, even though every single neuron in your brain was firing off, telling you what you were doing was wrong. “I should, I should grab my stuff, and go back. Penelope?” 
She had a rueful look on her face, but she nodded and took your arm, walking you back over to the desk where your stuff was. 
Spencer flexed his hand, almost as if he wanted to grab yours and never let go, but he just walked over to Max. 
You started to collect your things, but got sidetracked by a conversation with Rossi. 
You missed the small conversation that Spencer had with Max. You missed the way they hugged, and the way that the two of them walked out of the bullpen and to the elevator. You missed as they disappeared for a few minutes. 
“Rossi, I promise to do better about keeping in touch. I swear.” 
“I don’t just invite anyone over for dinner, you know. It’s an exclusive invitation.” 
You smiled, almost all real. “Trust me. I know. Besides
 the phone is a two way device, so you have to text me first sometimes too.” 
You looked over for Spencer, the smile on your face shifting ever so slightly into one of sadness when he wasn’t around. And no one would have noticed, if not for the fact that you were in a room full of profilers. 
“Well everyone, I
this was lovely. We’ll have to do this whole ‘getting my family kidnapped’ again some time.” 
This remark caused a few laughs and some smiles, as you said your goodbyes, and Emily walked over to the elevator. 
She was about to say something, but the doors opened and revealed Spencer. He seemed like a weight had been taken off his shoulders and you smiled at him.
Emily excused herself, giving your shoulder a squeeze, and leaving the two of you alone. 
“Let me walk you out.”
You nodded, and entered the elevator.
The two of you stood in silence until you reached the parking lot.
You both stepped out, and looked over at your car, before looking back at one another. 
It was Spencer who spoke first. 
“I’m so so sorry Y/n.” He whispered. “I never meant any of this to happen to you, and for you to get dragged back here and—” 
As soon as he met your eyes, you dropped your bag, and Spencer wrapped his arms around you tightly, just holding you and resting his head on yours; trying to give you the comfort that he was rarely able to give you. You just tightly wrapped your arms around his torso and just held onto him tightly. Trying to decompress, trying to truly understand everything that had happened in the past twelve hours. 
Part of being a lawyer meant that acting and diffusing situations was part of your life, but sometimes, it was just a defense mechanism. It was exhausting. 
“Are you okay?” 
Spencer looked at your face, pulling away slightly. You were worried about him. 
He went to nod, but decided to shake his head no. “Today was
I’m so sorry she
” 
“It’s what she wanted, Spence, and unfortunately she just
” You whispered. You tried so hard to find the right words. 
After another moment in his arms, you took a step back and shook your head. 
“I’m sorry.”
“Y/n
”
“Spence you have a girlfriend.” 
“Y/n.”
“And I
I don’t know if I could put myself back to where I was four years ago.”
“Jolie.” 
You took another breath, but kept going. “You are amazing, and funny, and so smart Spence. But this
we ran our course. It didn’t work then, and I don’t know if I have it in me to try again just for it to fail.” 
“We won’t.” 
“You can’t promise something like that.”
“I can. I will.”
You shook your head. “Max
”
“We broke up.”
Spencer gently grabbed your face, giving you enough time to back out.
You didn’t. 
His lips locked with yours, his thumb rubbing against your cheek as the two of you shared one more moment, just for the two of you. 
Catharsis didn’t even begin to describe the feeling of the ache in your bones subsiding. Every single moment of stress, of doubt, just melted away and left you grabbing a hold of Spencer’s shirt and pulling him impossibly closer. 
It was going to be different. Everything was not the same. You both had grown, you had changed, and for the better. But eventually, you were always supposed to find your way back to this moment, with yourself in Spencer’s arms and your lips on his lips. 
It was solidified when a few months later, Spencer left the BAU to become a full time professor in DC, and moved into your apartment, abandoning the one where Cat had ruined your life not once, but twice. 
It solidified as the two of you made time for one another, constantly finding new cities around the world to explore. 
It solidified forever when he placed a ring on your finger and whispered I do in front of your friends and family.
It was always meant to be, and sometimes, the path to forever, is everchanging. 
But at least you were able to do it with Spencer Reid by your side. 
297 notes · View notes
waitingonher · 6 months ago
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LOVER'S ROCK [h.o.o. characters in love]
percy jackson
memorizes your fast-food/gas station order. even if you didn’t ask, percy’s still gonna get you a lil something from wherever he goes. he has a shoe box that holds every single thing you’ve ever given him. may or may not still have the receipt from the restaurant after your first date. listens to the music you recommend him. usually, percy’s very opinionated about the music he listens to but he always gives yours a try. embarasses himself solely to see you laugh. yes, the time he dropped his ice cream cone into the hudson was on purpose.
annabeth chase
waits for you to watch the latest episode of your favorite show. annabeth will wait for you no matter what, even if it pains her to not know whether or not her favorite character just died. eases up around you. she appreciates not having to be completely on guard all the time. paints your nails for you. annabeth always finds it funny when she sees your non-dominant hand perfectly manicured while your dominant hand looks as if you did it blindfolded.
jason grace
annotates his favorite books for you to read. when it’s the occasional romance novel, jason writes “us <3” in the margin everytime the love interests do anything remotely romantic. gifts you a necklace with his initial. he smiles everytime he sees it resting against your chest. jason’s phone is entirely made up of you. his lockscreen, his home screen, his widgets
everything is you. jason randomly gives you massages. if you’re working on some school assignment he’d come up behind you and start massaging your neck and shoulders, getting out the knots you didn’t even know you had.
piper mclean
allows you to bypass her dnd. most of the time, piper’s on dnd so she made it so that only your notifications could bypass it. she does the chores you hate the most. even if she hates it just as much, she’ll do it just to see you happy. piper loves making those cheesy couple videos with you on tiktok. every day she’ll tell you how you two are basically tiktok famous?? piper only listens to you when it comes to fashion advice. yeah, she’ll acknowledge what others have to say about her outfits, but she truly only cares about what you think. 
leo valdez
loves you to the point of invention. you can’t even count the amount of gadgets leo’s made for you. he also comes home with little knicknacks made from spare parts of his projects. flowers made of metal scraps >> regular flowers. lets down his guard for you. leo doesn’t feel the need to keep up his happy, humorous persona when he’s with you. he lets you take whatever side of the bed you want. even if leo likes to sleep against the wall, he’ll let you because he knows it makes you happy.
hazel levesque
buys matching couple outfits. you two have your own pinterest board dedicated to your matching outfits. takes care of your hair. considering her own hair, hazel knows a lot about hair care. date nights where she oils your hair and washes it for you over anything else. ties your bows for you. she laughs when you finish tying the bow in your hair only to realize that the loops and tails are different sizes. wears matching jewelry. you two have lockets with photos from your first date. 
frank zhang
never the first one to let go from hugs. frank can and will stand there and hug you for the entire day if you want to. ties your shoes for you. whenever he notices your shoes are untied he entirely stops what he’s doing and drops to the floor, propping your foot on his knee to tie it. always gives you his food. even if you had said you didn’t want any, frank still shares some with you.
570 notes · View notes
aealzx · 19 days ago
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Update Post
Prologue | AO3
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“...o, he hasn’t woken up yet.”
Someone had entered the room that morning, and now Jazz was talking to someone that could have been them or another person entirely. The haze of their lowered conversation was helping to pull Danny from the fog of sleep. But after the initial part it sounded like the conversation was one sided.
“Clothes?.... Actually, I don’t know what he would like. He hasn’t bought anything for himself for two years now. And never has a response when we ask.”
That response made Danny feel like they were talking about him. Jazz and whoever she was talking to. It was probably on the phone. He felt a little bad, but what she had just said was true. He hadn’t really done much when it came to clothing lately. Sam and Tucker had mostly been the ones to give his Phantom attire an update, and he just hadn’t bothered to address anything else.
“No, I’m not going to wake him up. He needs his rest-”
“Mmm
 ‘s fine, J’zz. ‘M awake,” Danny forced himself to mumble even though he wasn’t quite fully alert yet. Relaxing in the study the previous evening had been really nice, and his spirits had risen a little when the few sips of broth he’d had a few hours before bed hadn’t made him sick again. But he still felt like a truck had hit him in his sleep, which made that morning hard. “Izzat for me? Here
” he asked, lazily flopping his hand into the air so that Jazz could give him the phone.
Jazz seemed to consider it for a moment, but eventually sighed and walked over to put the borrowed cellphone in Danny’s hand. Danny couldn’t see, having not managed to open his eyes yet, but Alfred was waiting patiently at the door to get it back. For now Danny just flopped it next to his head and turned his ear into it. “Mm
’ello?”
“Danny! Good morning~”
It was Stephanie. Chiming in a bubbly way that was much too energetic for
 what time was it? Still felt too early.
“So, we’re out shopping and getting some new clothes for everyone, but your friends are being unhelpful and keep saying you don’t have any kind of style you like. Soooo, you get to answer. What would you like us to pick up for you? And what size do you usually wear?” Stephanie rambled, anticipating Danny would have more answers than the others.
“Uhhhhhh
.,” Danny stalled, both because he was still waking up and she had said a lot of words, but also because he didn’t have an answer. “I dunno. A t-shirt and jeans? I’m usually a size smaller than Tucker though.”
“Seriously? That’s it? That’s so boring,” Stephanie complained.
“See? We told you, but you didn’t believe us.” Danny could hear Tucker’s voice, and figured he was on speaker.
“He just kept wearing the same clothes he had when he was fourteen, and only has new ones because the rest of us bought some for him. But he was so unhelpful then too that we had to settle for just getting him space themed stuff,” Sam huffed, and Danny could hear her folding her arms in annoyance.
“Hey, I got a lot of other stuff to worry about than clothes,” Danny protested to defend himself.
“You like space themed stuff though?” Dick’s voice chimed in now.
“Yeah, I still like space,” Danny confirmed. “Can’t do much with it these days, but I’ve always wanted to be an astronaut,” he admitted, feeling a little embarrassed about admitting his childhood dream.
“Cool. What about puns?” Dick hummed, adding another question quickly.
“No. Dick, don’t you dare,” Stephanie scolded.
Danny could only smile though. “I love puns,” he confirmed, not able to pick out who was all contributing to the chorus of groans and complaints, “Why? You got a good one?”
“Maybe. You’ll see,” Dick’s response was with barely held mirth. “Thanks kiddo, take it easy,” he bid before ending the call.
Well at least that was something to look forward to. Danny’s smile didn’t fade as he lifted the phone from the pillow to hand back to Jazz, who then returned it to Alfred. He ended up rolling over and laying there for a little longer, which made Jazz giggle and run her fingers through his hair for a bit. It was comfortable, and at least he wasn’t so tired he fell asleep right after waking up.
“...Alfred made some more of the broth you got last night. Do you want to try some more?” Jazz eventually asked when Danny finally managed to keep his eyes open and focus on things.
Danny considered how he felt before answering, and ended up nodding. “These help,” he admitted, pointing to the anti nausea patch behind his ear. It was enough confirmation for Jazz to move to help him sit up, stuffing all the pillows she could behind him when he was upright so he wouldn’t have to worry about spilling. The broth really did taste good, despite only being slightly warmer than room temperature. He found that if he only took small sips, and waited awhile between them he didn’t end up with his stomach wanting to revolt again. Maybe eventually he’d want a fat burger again, but for now this was enough.
He soon learned that he hadn’t woken up until after 10:00 am, but while that felt weird to hear he eventually realized there was nothing wrong with it. Apparently the others had been out all morning, Stephanie having come to get them since it was a holiday for her school. Not that her attendance was stellar anyway with all the mishaps she ended up in during the daytime, but it helped convince Bruce to let her carry on. She’d even managed to drag Dick and Barbara to join them. And that and the phonecall earlier led to Dick being the one to burst into the bedroom shortly after noon with the bags he’d promised over the phone.
“Head’s up!” Dick called as the only warning before he tossed a new t-shirt over Danny’s head.
“Dick!” Barbara scolded mildly, having only heard how Danny was doing and not completely sure he was up for being harassed.
To her surprise Danny just snorted. “It’s fine. It’s just a shirt,” he excused, pulling the t-shirt off his face and spreading it where he could see. While Dick grinned triumphantly at Barbara before turning to watch Danny expectantly, Danny quickly read the text on the shirt and promptly half choked on a snort. “HAHAHAHA H-,” he erupted with full on laughter, wheezing as he tried to vocalize the text. “I have - PFFFF HAHAHA - so many prob- HHHHH Jazz,” he howled and wheezed, turning the shirt so his sister could see the astronaut image surrounded by the text ‘Houston, I have so many problems’.
“Oh-.... Ohhhhh that’s great,” Jazz grimaced, giving a thumbs up as the content of the shirt was enough to dampen her own joy over seeing Danny laughing so openly. Considering his current situation, Danny probably thought it was rather fitting.
“I’m so upset we were right that he would love that,” Sam grumbled with a shake of her head.
“I think it’s great,” Danielle chimed in, though not laughing quite as much as Danny since she’d already seen everything.
“Of course you do,” Tucker sighed.
“I have more!” Dick took that as a chance to continue, plopping on the bed and digging out another shirt to pass over to Danny.
“Oh no, I’m leaving. Have fun,” Tucker groaned, quickly heading out the door partially to get away from what he had a feeling was going to be a terrible session of puns and bad jokes, and partially to take care of his own haul. Sam was quick to follow his lead, dragging Danielle after them so she didn’t skip out on helping.
As Danny excitedly held up the next shirt another honk laugh escaped him, though not quite as uproarious as the first. “HA! Just need space. Classic,” he complimented, lowering the shirt to his lap and looking up at Dick again to see if he had more.
“This was the last shirt they had, but if you want more puns after I have plenty to give,” Dick complied, handing the final printed shirt over to Danny.
It took Danny a second to realize the graphic of the earth was suggested to be spinning, staring at the conversation between the characterized moon and their own planet. The moon was asking what the earth was doing, and the earth responded ‘Making everyone’s day’, and as soon as the joke clicked in Danny’s head he was almost crying with laughter again. He didn’t even notice Stephanie joyfully recording both of them.
“Give me what else you have,” Danny requested after getting his breath back, reaching out to tug on Dick’s arm. It felt good to laugh. Even if it hurt his ribs, hurt the still healing burns on his chest, it felt good to just sit and laugh about something stupid. He didn’t want to give it up just yet, and it seemed Dick had actually planned for this in the past few hours after learning Danny loved puns too.
“Alright, get comfy ‘cause I have got a real gemstore to show you,” Dick agreed eagerly, squirming up onto the bed next to Danny and getting comfortable as well where they could both look at his phone. He had a folder saved just for collecting his favorites.
Danny was quick to settle into place wedged against Dick’s side, quickly reading and giggling or outright barking more laughter as they flipped through the saved images of jokes ranging from ‘I’m more confused than a chameleon in a bag of skittles’ to ‘astronomers got tired of waiting for the sun to go down, so they decided to call it a day’. Throughout the scrolling and varying degrees of laughter at the jokes, Danny even added some of his own that he remembered after seeing some of the others. 
Eventually their session was interrupted by Damian pausing at the doorway, getting their attention with a light knock.
“Pennyworth would like to know if you would prefer supper in the study once more,” the youngest Wayne informed, and waited for the response.
“Who
?” was what Danny ended up responding with, having not heard people’s last names yet.
“Alfred. Damian calls everyone by their last names,” Dick thankfully supplied, earning a small noise of understanding from Danny. It wasn’t hard to tell the hours and hours of jokes had worn him out, but he seemed quite content so Dick didn’t feel bad. “You’ve upgraded to the couch already though? Hell yeah.”
The comment made Danny snort again, though he also had to grimace at Dick incredulously. “What kind of lifestyle do you people live?” he asked before giving a quick answer to Damian. “Here is fine for today. If that’s okay.”
“Why wouldn’t it be? Your recovery is of utmost importance to those in this household. If supper in bed will facilitate that, then it is of no consequence to anything else,” Damian responded easily, giving them a nod before leaving to report back to Alfred.
“Eh. We’ve had our fair share of injuries through the years,” Dick admitted to Danny’s question, lifting a finger to tap the small bandage on his own forehead once. “Enough that a knife wound is more like a papercut,” he half joked.
Danny snickered at the response, but wasn’t sure how he really felt about it. Was it really a good thing to be so used to being hurt that they seemed to have started making a game out of things relating to it? Maybe it was just something so inevitable for people like them, that they’d just had to make the most of it in the best way they knew how.
“Does it
,” Danny found himself speaking before he’d fully committed to the question in his mind. He had half the thought to retract his half voiced question, but opted instead to complete it. “Does it ever get to be too much?”
The question made Dick recognize a little more about what state of mind Danny was in, and his brows furrowed in concern before he eventually brought the smile back. “All the time,” he admitted. “Especially when you get all these meta humans and aliens involved. But
 it’s too hard to stop.”
For a moment Danny had forgotten that the others, aside from Duke, didn’t have any special abilities that weren’t common for a regular human. It must be very stressful for them to have to deal with people like him that ended up rogue. But also, hearing someone else admit that they too, sometimes, only kept going because it was too hard for them to stop brought Danny a strange kind of bitter comfort. Maybe they were just all doomed together.
But, even if they were, at least he had company.
“...Thanks,” Danny chose to respond, relaxing a little more heavily into the pillows. The laughter had felt good, but the exhaustion and aches didn’t. “For all the jokes. I loved them.”
Dick could only grin fondly, reaching out to ruffle Danny’s hair after sitting upright. “No problem, kid. Anytime you need some more, just let me know.”
“Does that mean I can have your number after I get my phone back?”
Dick could only snort, having not expected that question. “Sure. We’ll figure something out for the whole interdimensional communication thing. I’m sure someone has already figured it out,” he chuckled, scooting to the edge of the bed to get ready to join the others at dinner.
Danny could only hum in acknowledgement, content with that answer, and let Dick leave to get his own food. Having someone to appreciate good jokes with was something to look forward to at least.
____________________
Iiiii struggled a lil with this one too =3= But there were some notes I needed to be mentioned before getting too far along.
Thank you for whoever sent me some puns though XDD they really helped. I love puns, but I'm terrible at coming up with any or even remembering them.
____________________
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rapilne · 8 months ago
Text
-Ice Cold
beomgyu x fem!reader
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warnings: sub!beomgyu, sex (?) this contains smut, not proofread, MDNI, beomgyu pov-ish
a/n: no summary cause i couldn't tell you what this is about. this is my first time writing anything like this, i wrote it on my notes so im not sure how many words there are, i think too many, this is without a doubt too long, pls bear with me. also english is not my first language, if something doesn't make sense well idk figure it out pretty pls, thankssss đŸ«¶
--
"she's my girlfriend," beomgyu said, his expression a mask of utter sincerity.
his words hung in the air, the silence filled with unspoken questions. 
yeonjun squinted at him, scrutinizing his face before glancing at taehyun then back at him. "so, you're saying
 you have like a crush on her?"
an exasperated sigh escaped beomgyu. “what? no!" he protested "i mean, yes? wait no..” he closed his eyes and said slowly “
 it’s like i said it. she’s my girlfriend for real.”
the weight of his words hanged heavily, yet his friends remained speechless, drinks on their hands and stares like daggers. 
beomgyu shifted uncomfortably, unsure of what to do to stop them from looking at him like that.
"i just don't understand what's so surprising about it," he muttered, a pout forming on his lips.
—
choi beomgyu had always been the epitome of charisma. from his looks to his charm, whether he stepped into a crowded room or sauntered down a bustling street, all eyes gravitated toward him, and once you got an interaction, you will just want him to sty forever.
he was well-known and well-liked everywhere he went: university corridors, his guitar lessons, basketball practice, even the corner store near his apartment. everyone seemed to gravitate toward him, drawn in by his undeniable charm.
he likes to think he got that from his mother.
beomgyu, reveling in the spotlight, thrived on the attention. the way people's faces lit up upon his arrival was a drug he couldn't resist. 
specially when he is so used to getting his way. always obtaining whatever he wanted whenever he wanted it, never in a malicious or manipulative way, he was bold, confident, overly friendly and people loved him. asking was usually all it took.
so, all things considered, he'd never struggled to draw the attention of those he found attractive. one could almost say he had his pick of the litter.
he thinks it might be true. 
that is the reason why setting his sights on you should be the most foolish thing beomgyu has ever done in his entire existence. and yet, there he was, unable to resist the pull, despite the warning bells ringing in the depths of his mind.
from the first time he met you, in his advanced music business class, it was as though you existed in a world entirely apart from his own. not responding to any of his advances was an odd sight for him.
initially, he brushed it off, attributing it to a fleeting lapse or perhaps an uncharacteristic bad mood on your part. after all, he reasoned, he was an attention seeker, but he certainly wasn't a psychopath.
yet, after you acted the same way the next time, and the next, and the next time he tried to talk to you, he couldn’t help but take it personally. 
he soon realized it wasn't merely a matter of wounded ego. from the very first meeting, he had mustered his most charming smile just for you. after all, he thought you might just be the prettiest girl he had ever seen in his life. and after just a few classes, he realized you were also one of the smartest people he knew. 
it’s been a long while, but everything about you seemed to snag his attention, like you were the main character in a movie and he couldn't take his eyes off the screen.
so, whyy you, out of everyone, had to be the one to him the cold shoulder like that? or even better, why couldn’t he just like someone who liked him back?
he soon came to find out, thanks to his seat mate, jun, that your behavior was not uncommon.
he couldn't shake off the words his friend had offered in consolation: "don't sweat it, she's like that with pretty much everyone."
of course, in true beomgyu fashion, he couldn't help but sweat it. 
he did pick up on your vibe—not shy at all, like he thought at first, but definitely serious and reserved— still, he wasn't accustomed to blending in with the crowd like that; being treated like “pretty much everyone” didn't sit right with him. 
"it's all so high school," jun chuckled then, shaking his head. "but seriously, they actually nicknamed her the ice queen.”
now it seems like getting on your good side might be a task for the gods.
good thing he is known for always getting what he wants.
— 
taking a sip of boba should never be this unpleasant. except that time he order matcha when he meant taro, beomgyu has always treated his boba runs as a particularly happy time. right now though, it isn’t going so well. especially when yeonjun goes “you’re fucking lying,” with a snickering tone.
“i only lied when i told you that mesh shirt you’re wearing was a look.”
“how dare you”
beomgyu then stands up and looks at the counter. there are only a couple of tapioca pearls left on his drink and he thinks he might ask for some more. are tapioca pearls refills allowed in this place? he doesn’t think they’re allowed anywhere, but he might as well ask.
“ok, ok, sit back down hyung,” taehyun tugs him from his arm, “when did this even happened?”
“i only have like two tapioca pearls left,” beomgyu ignores him and yeonjun goes, “he is talking about boba because he is lying.” he laughs. “there is no way. not even for you, gyu.” 
“look, i don’t know what is so unbelievable about me and y/n being together now,”
“y/n and me,” taehyun corrects
“what?” 
“the correct way to say it is ‘y/n and me’, not ‘me and y/n,” taehyun looks at beomgyu after sipping his own cup, “it can depend on the context of the sentence, like both are grammatically correct, but ‘y/n and me’ is considered mo-“
“what on actual fucking earth are you talking about?“
“that is literally not important!” yeonjun interrupts them both with a loud voice, “can we please come back to the topic and know why are you lying about y/n being your girlfriend?”
beomgyu glares at yeonjun, throwing his straw to the trashcan right next to them. they came in quite late to the boba shop and didn’t get the best table. it is a popular place after all. 
“for the millionth time, yeonjun, i’m not lying!” he says with wide eyes. “what is it that you want? i can call her right now, put her on speaker and asker to tell you how much she likes me, yeah?”
yeonjun narrows his eyes at him, suspicious. “do it.”
“you’re fucking kidding me-“ 
the door chimes and yeonjun’s attention is momentarily taken by the sound. beomgyu takes advantage of this and quickly sizes his cup only to realize his mistake too late and have the matcha flavor assaulting his taste buds. he thinks it is a pretty cruel trick on the universe’s part.
he chokes back a gag and it’s impossible for taehyun to not roll his eyes. he appears to be inmune to beomgyu’s charm, consequences of their close friendship.
yeonjun’s laughter fills the air once he realizes what happened. “that’s what you get,“ he says.
“how can you drink that?”
“matcha is tasty,” with a grin on his face, yeonjun shrugs.
“matcha is a sin,” beomgyu retorts, wrinkling his nose in distaste.
taehyun's interruption brought a halt to the conversation. “the way you are just unwilling to talk about it makes me think that yeonjun might be onto something,” he muses, propping his chin on his hand.
“why would i lie about me being in a relationship with someone?”
“you tell us,” yeonjun says mockingly.
taehyun fixes him with a pointed look. “yeonjun stop,” he says and then looks at this other friend, “beomgyu, it is not really about you being in a relationship. it is about with who.”
“what’s is wrong with y/n?” he asks with a pout on his lips.
“oh nothing,” yeonjun scoffs. “except everyone says she is quite literally a bi-“
beomgyu's voice cut through the air with a sharp edge, his tone tinged with seriousness. "watch it, yeonjun,.” he warned, his gaze unwavering.
yeonjun raised his eyebrows, surprised by beomgyu's sudden change in demeanor. "i was just going to say she's quite literally a big fan of not making friends,” he finished instead, eyes wide.
taehyun intervened swiftly, sensing the tension rising. "beomgyu," he began, his tone soft, "i'm not doubting your feelings, but we kind of know y/n's reputation. she's known for being... distant, self-centered even. i just don't want to see you get hurt because you're too trusting."
taehyun's words struck a chord with beomgyu, but before he could respond, yeonjun chimed in, his voice tinged with remorse. "he's right, gyu," he admitted, a hint of regret on his tone. “and i'm sorry about before. but still, you need to be careful. y/n... people have tried to get close to her before, and it hasn't gone well."
beomgyu's heart sank at yeonjun's words, the weight of their implications settling heavily on his shoulders. 
"look," he begins, his voice tinged with a mixture of conviction and uncertainty, "y/n is different, okay? she's not like anyone else i've ever met. and maybe i haven't been completely open about it because... because i know how you guys get. but i mean it when i say i’ve known her like other people haven’t. she is good.”
there's a pause as beomgyu searches for the right words, a shadow of vulnerability flickering across his features. "she's not just some stereotype or rumor," he continues, "there's more to her than that ‘ice queen’ nonsense."
as the trio leave the place, beomgyu sips on his refilled boba. turns out they definitely don’t do refills, but, “just for you,” they said.
he even got another straw.
—
“and that’s my problem how?” you asked with straight expression.
the girl in front of you stumbled over her words, her voice quivering as she tries to play it off with a quiet laugh. "i-i’m not saying it's your problem," she began cautiously. "but, like, your signature could totally convince mr. yang to extend the due date. if we all get on board, he'd have to at least consider it. please?”
"no," you reply.
she blinks, caught off guard. “wait, what? i mean, i’m sorry?" 
leaning back, taking a sip of your iced coffee, you return your gaze to your book. “you’re good,” you say in an almost nonchalant tone. "i’d just rather not be disturbed while i’m reading.”
she recoils, her nervous vibe replaced by incredulity. "i'm not apologizing to you!" she snaps back before taking a deep breath. "i just—why not? it literally doesn’t hurt you at all to sign? we really need your help y/n. it will even give you more time to finish your own stuff! ”
"already finished it,” you say, not even making eye contact.
she let out a surprised squeak, but recovered quickly.
"well, i guess that's cool for you," she muttered. "but, like, we need your signature or mr. yang won't even look at the petition.” 
nothing from your part.
mr. yang was a no-nonsense professor who smelled of tobacco and liked to look at everyone over his glasses as to remind you he is much more smarter than you. he hands out tough tasks, but always provides the necessary materials to complete them. though you weren't his favorite student, and he certainly wasn't your favorite teacher, you excelled in his class, meeting his high expectations. but you worked hard to get things done.
"look,” she sighed, “i know you're really smart, but some of us are really
 struggling.“ she sighed sadly. ”it's taking forever to get through the text he sent, you know? if we all, like, come together and help each other out, we could totally make it happen. i don’t think he’d said no. what do you say?" she finished, giving you this hopeful look.
a look that was met with silence.
"y/n?" she tries again.
anna, the heroine in your book, seems genuinely tormented and you’re really starting to feel bad for her. if only she didn’t chose the red door. the blue door was the obvious right choice, but she decided to be adventurous. now, she will probably die. can vampires die? they can, you remember. in twilight, you have to cut them in little pieces and-
"hello?! earth to y/n?" you hear a loud voice in front of your face.
you glance up. right, the ‘help us change the due date’ girl from your class. can’t really say you remember her name. 
“you're still here?" you ask flatly. can people get any more annoying? 
"oh my god, seriously?!" she practically yells this time. "i can't believe you're such a bitch!"
suddenly, and before things could escalate further, beomgyu swoops in, looking all concerned. "whoa, what's going on?" he asks, his guitar hanging on his shoulder. “i heard yelling.”
beomgyu looks exceptionally good today, you decide. his dark, long hair framing his beautiful face, and eyes so deep and brown, you could not wait to get him alone

"hey, beomie," you greet him with a smile. "nothing much. ready to leave?"
you've been waiting for him to finish his composition class. your own class got cut short, and you were ready to head home, but beomgyu insisted on spending the rest of the day with you, asking if you could wait for his class to end.
there's someone you can't say no to, and that's choi beomgyu, you've come to realize.
without waiting for an answer, you toss your book into your bag, grab your iced coffee, and take his hand, leading him towards the exit. your classmate watches you with wide eyes, speechless with incredulity. beomgyu glances back a little confused, offering her an apologetic smile and a quick wave as if to to smooth things over.
once outside, hand in hand, beomgyu asks carefully, "what was that?"
"oh, nothing at all,” you brush it off.
"she seemed mad," he remarks, and you stop in your tracks, making him stumble a little.
"did she? i didn't notice," you say, teasingly. "but i did notice i haven't kissed you yet."
with a playful glint in your eyes, you tilt his chin up with one hand and lean in, closing the distance between you as your lips meet in a slow, lingering kiss. beomgyu sighs contentedly, wrapping his arms around you, pulling you closer.
"you're the sweetest," he whispers against your lips, screaming girls all forgotten.
—
“look at this video i took on saturday,” jun leans over the table to show a clip to beomgyu as they sat with a couple of his classmates at the uni cafe. beomgyu recognizes the place as the han river, and the performers on the clip as a dance team yeonjun showed him before.
“oh, i know them!” he says with a big smile, “they’re sooo good. don’t you think they should be like performing on music videos or something?”
“they should,” jun agrees. “i’ve seen them on tiktok though, and they’re making really big numbers.”
“oh shit, yeah, me too! i keep telling y/n to come with me to see them whenever yeonjun tells me they have a showcase.”
this caught the attention of gina, a girl from his music production class “i’m sorry, but i still can't believe you're with her, gyu.” she remarks shaking his head incredulously. 
beomgyu looks up from his phone to give her a questioning look, “what?”
“ah, she’s right” hyunjin says through bites of his ham sandwich, "i mean, she's smoking hot, but she's also a total ice queen."
beomgyu glares at him. "come on, not this again, not with the higschool nickname stuff” he defended “she is not an ice anything, you calling her that is cringe. i’ll have you know, she is really sweet, actually.”
"sweet? seriously, beomgyu?" hyejin chimed in, eyebrows raised in disbelief. "every time i've tried talking to her, she acts like i don't even exist."
“sh-“
"yeah, and remember when she snapped at mark for accidentally bumping into her? it was like she thought she was too good to even acknowledge him."
“but-“ 
"and what about that time she ignored seungmin’s text asking for help with the assignment? she could have at least replied!”
beomgyu's heart sank as he listened to his friends.
“remember last week? what she did to lilly? the stuff with the signatures? honestly, she is such a bitch sometimes
”
before beomgyu could respond, you happened to walk past their table, expression as frosty as ever. misinterpreting their conversation, you shot beomgyu a hurt look before walking away.
"great, now she thinks we're all talking behind her back," gina mutters with a wary look on her face.
beomgyu watches you go away, his heart sinking with the weight of the misunderstanding, realizing you must think you were talking bad about her too. 
he stands up abruptly, “for the record,” he interjects with a sharp voice “this better be the last time i hear any of you calling her names, i won't stand for anyone disrespecting her. we’re done.”
glaring at all of them, he turned and strode out of the café, leaving his former friends speechless. outside, he quickened his pace, determined to catch up to you and make things right before it was too late.
—
the doorbell rings incessantly, echoing through the hallway as beomgyu refuses to give up. he's been following you from the school building to your apartment, his determination evident in every step he takes. but despite his efforts, you continued to ignore him, driving him to the brink of frustration.
beomgyu knows he's pushing it, but the thought of you disregarding him like this drives him crazy. with each ring of the doorbell, he feels a surge of desperation, making him want to rip all his hair out. 
he keeps ringing the bell and knocking on the door with urgency. he's fully aware that he's risking disturbing the neighbors, they may even call the police.
he’ll risk going to jail for you, he thinks.
finally, the door swings open with a sharp smack, and you're standing there, glaring at him. "knock it off!" you yell, frustration evident in your voice.
despite your fiery eyes, he’s just glad to see your face.
"i'm sorry," beomgyu blurts out, his words coming out in a rush. “but i am sorry you had to listen to that, not sorry because i was agreeing with them or anything, because i was not. i definitely was not, in fact i was letting them know how wonderful and sweet you are, is honestly what i always do. they’re not even my friends anymore. i literally ended it with them. i let them know, oh fuck, i always let everyone know you’re perfect and sweet and the best person i've ever met in my life and that i'm just so so lucky to have you and i love you more than anything and i don’t care about what anyone says because you’re always so, so good to me.”
his words spill out in a jumbled mess, but the sincerity in his voice is unmistakable. beomgyu's desperation is palpable, his rambling emotions laid bare. 
you stare at beomgyu, your expression neutral, as his words hang in the air between you. his eyes search yours desperately and, for a moment, he thinks he might have finally pushed you too far, that his rambling confession may have been a mistake.
but then, without warning, you break the tension with two simple words. "come in," you say.
relief floods beomgyu's features as he exhales a shaky breath, the weight lifting from his shoulders. without hesitation, he steps through the doorway, the sound of the door clicking shut behind him.
—
beomgyu is standing right in front of you, in your bed, with red cheeks in anticipation. 
“beomie, do you think i’m a bitch?” you ask with a teasing pout on your lips.
“no! no, no, no i don’t” he responds, looking up at you with puppy eyes, long lashes and a slight frown on his face
“correct,” you concede, putting his hair behind his ear softly “you were dying for me to even look at you, beomie, so i did. how can i be a bitch when i give all you the attention you so desperately beg from me?”
beomgyu exhales, clearing his throat to prevent himself for making any noise. you look down at him, his dark hair, indolent eyes and pouting lips. so pretty, just for you.
“answer me.” 
“you’re not, you are so good to me, you’re always so good to me.” he whines, but somehow his voice gets lower. aching to touch you, but keeping his hands on his side, just like he was told.
“that’s right.” you go down and crawl between his thighs slowly. he feels hot wherever you touch him. “i’m so good to you
” you concede as you reach out with confident fingers and grab the waist of his pants and start drawing them down. you pause halfway, though. a teasing smirk playing on your lips. "but, do you deserve it, beomie?" you ask, your tone laced with mock concern.
beomgyu's breath escapes him in rapid bursts, too stunned to speak, but he knows better than not to answer you.
“no..” he chockes out “i don’t deserve it, don’t deserve you.”
“you’re right, you don’t deserve any of it,” you remind him, “good thing i’m so wonderful and sweet right?” you mock as you shove the rest of his pants and underwear down in a quick motion. 
his cock comes up against his stomach, twitchy and veiny and your mouth is watering at the sight in front of you, wanting nothing more than for him to cum down your throat. but today is not the day.
beomgyu chews down hard on his lip and closes his eyes at the feeling of you liberating his length. he’s always been too sensitive, but with you he feels like it’s always the first time.
“open your eyes, beomie,” you tell him. “i want you to see and remember what you have to be grateful for.”
he opens his eyes in an instant just for him to watch you slowly wrap your mouth around his tip. he sucks in a a hiss and let’s out a groan when you draw your lips with a light pressure down his cock until he hits the back of your throat, only to come back up and leave a trail of saliva along the way.
“fuuck,” he lets out with a trembling breath. “oh my god”
you put him on your mouth again and swirl your tongue around him, he hits the start of your throat once again and slide up and down, up and down. you wrapped your lips around his tip one more time before running the flat of your tongue up his cock slowly and you stare directly into his eyes,
beomgyu is a mess of flushed skin and teary eyes and can’t stop whimpering at the feeling and sight of you using your mouth on him, he swallows, throat dry and bites his bottom lip to prevent him from spluttering nonsense.
“i don- don’t know if i can- fuuuck- i- i can’t.. can’t hold it, fuck y/n , you’re so- so good to me-“ 
with his hands on your hair loosing himself to the feeling of your mouth on him, you can’t help but moan on his cock as you can already taste his pre-cum on your tongue, threatening to spill past your lips. you take you mouth off of him. “beomie, don’t cum yet-“ you say between licks, before spitting on him, lubricating and using your hand instead “- baby, hold it in, not yet.”
“i- i can’t, i can’t” he cries and you stop, his chest going up and down aggressively before lifting his face to look up at you. lips red and shinny from biting hard and cheeks rosy from all the pleasure. you think he has never look this pretty.
he sits up trembling, looking at you you slide your drenched panties off. then you straddle his lap, looking at his red erection up and proud, tip right at your entrance, and without any warning, you take his cock in your hand go down on him inch by inch, his arms coming around your torso in desperation as you hold yourself up wrapping yours around his neck, holding each other so close you could feel echother’s heartbeat.
you completely sink down on him and you both gasp, automatically making you clench around him.
“fuuck, baby” beomgyu hissed. his hands coming down to your waist to keep you in place, he’s afraid he would cum in a second if you moved an inch. “don’t move, please”
so, you raised your hips and you both let out a breathy moan as you sat back down again. he whines.
“you can do it beomie, hold it baby” you purr in his mouth. repeating the action again and again. “don’t you want me to fuck you?” 
“ye- yes please,- fuuuck yes” he cries, holding you close. always eager to please, he lets you do as you want. obeying you just in time for him to become a whimpering mess.
it was embarrassing, really, how affected he got in literal seconds. and you, with the sensation of having his cock filling you up, couldn’t help but use him like a toy.
“good boy,” you sing softly, breath hitching. “good, good boy. i knew you would let me use you like this. kne- knew you would like to make me happy. right beomie? because you love me? you want to- oh my god” you whine, bouncing up and down on him with urgency, felling him thus up to meet you halfway. “you want to make me feel good”
beomgyu feels like fire inside you, feeling you squeezing him so tight he feels himself closer and closer. he takes his hand from your waist to massage your breasts, knowing how sensitive your nipples are, making you sigh, earning him a kiss so lewd he’ll dream about it. “yes, thank you, please,” he cries, “i want- i want-“
“you can’t even talk beomie!” you chuckle dryly, “wh-what would your friends say if they saw you like this? huh?” you whispered on his mouth, the feeling so good its sending your blood rushing to your head as you keep fucking him stupid.
“their proud, confident beomgyu is just- fuck” you gasp at the feeling of his lips closing around your nipple, ”just a dirty slut? huh” you throw your head back to give him more access as you continue to bounce on his cock “ a begging little whore is what you are beomie”
he feels himself closer and closer, your dirty talking sending him over the edges he pleads, “just for you, i swear is just for you, i love you”
“good boy” you panted on his mouth again, feeling the sensation of your orgasm looming over your body and beomgyu was hit with the staggering force of his release as he came inside you, calling out your name in pleading gasps.
you blinked almost sleepily, looking down at your boyfriend and his post-fuck look, a small smile on his face as you leaned down to place a little kiss on his nose.
“love you too, pup.” you sighed.
—
not matcha, but not taro, either.
beomgyu feels like trying something new as he looks at the menu. the scent of sweet tapioca and freshly brewed tea surrounds you two and he thinks this is exactly what dreams are made of, yet deciding on just the right drink feels like an impossible task right this second.
so he scans the menu, his eyes flickering between the various options. yeonjun said their new horchata drink was good, but he doesn’t trust yeonjun’s taste.
“do you know what you’re ordering?” he asks you with big, round eyes. 
you can't help but notice how his eyes resemble tapioca pearls – "just iced coffee," you reply with a hint of amusement.
“right,” beomgyu chuckles, realizing he should have guessed as much.
suddenly, the girl behind the counter approaches you, her bright smile matching the cheery vibe of the boba shop. "hi there! can i help you?" she chirps.
beomgyu's attention shifts to her, “oh! yes yes, just a second” he responds, his eyes scanning the menu once more.
"well, our special today is the pina colada boba blast," the girl continues with a playful tone "it's sweet, refreshing, and i guarantee you it will leave you wanting more!”
beomgyu looks up, and before he could respond, you step forward, "we'll figure it out ourselves, thanks," you say curtly.
the girl's smile falters slightly. "o-okay, let me know if you need any help," she mumbles, retreating to the safety of the register.
"come on, babe, she was just doing her job," beomgyu says, chuckling a little and reaching for your hand. "but i think is time for me to finally admit
 there's something kind of hot about you being mean."
you rolled your r eyes, but a small smirk tugged at the corners of your lips. you figured that much way before he did “i’m not being mean, beomie,” you still say, feigning ignorance “i truly don’t know what you’re talking about.”
beomgyu grins, feeling a surge of affection for the girl by his side. as they placed their order and settled into a cozy corner of the boba shop, he couldn't help but think how happy he was to have you, even if you did have a bit of a mean streak.
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myafterlifeisbetterthenyours · 8 months ago
Text
The angelic peeps (I don’t mind who) with a sinner reader who had been mistaken as angel because of their form. Just them getting shooed inside heaven and ends up being like đŸ‘ïžđŸ‘„đŸ‘ïž????
Hell is forever! And Heaven... is also forever?
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Adam
Now, when you'd appeared, you had no idea where you were, or what the actual fuck was happening.
So when you witnessed an angelic figure slashing down some creepy little creature, you naturally freaked out.
When you were approached by an angel, if that angel shopped at forever 21.
The Goth angels having their weapons drawn you'd freeze, the two freezing as they stared at you.
"The Hell are you doing here?" One would as with a disnctly feminine tone.
You, completely off guard, would blurt out. "I'mmm... lost?" You speak, feeling like you were playing the greatest gamble of your life.
The two would look at each other for several moments before one would sigh. "Great, a normie?"
"We sure they're a Winner?" The second Angel spoke.
"Mmmm." The second hummed. "You ever seen a Sinner look as good as them?"
The second placed a hand to her chin. "... Nah."
The first groaned, rubbing her oddly yellow Gray face. "If this gets out, this is gonna be a mountain of paperwork."
"Uhhh, we don't have paperwork." The other hummed, raising a brow.
"Yeah well, if Adam finds out about this he'll make us sign autographs for him for the next 3 weeks."
"I don't know why he does that, he's the only one that uses them."
As the two grumbled between each other, you just stood there, waiting and unsure of what to do as the two bitched back and forth.
After a while more of this, they'd snap to you.
"Alright, fine, come on then." The angel grumbled, walking over to you.
You didn't get to react before she suddenly grabbed you, flying up into the air and scaring the crap out of you. It took a minute but they flew you through the massive hole in the sky.
She placed you on the cushy cloud like road, the Angel hushing you as she snuck you past St. Peter, popping open the gate and shoving you inside.
"Look, you didn't see anything. I didnt see you. You didnt see us. Got it!?" She asked coldly.
You just nodded back, the woman glaring at you before shutting the gate, leaving you... somewhere.
That answer was quickly, well, answered, as turning around you found yourself in... Heaven.
Oh, well that's...
Wait?
HEAVEN!?
Did you just... luck your way into heaven?
Apparently you did as you were quickly welcomed into heaven, the populous eagerly welcoming you.
And well... it was Heaven!
Everything was fun and carefree and there was So. Much. Singing!
It'd be when you attended a rock show, you eagerly watching as Adam himself played lead, the whole thing incredible.
Youd somehow end up behind the scenes after the show, a variety of virtue Winners all flaunting over the Band members, especially Adam, the man surrounded by Winners.
Of course, your appearance instantly caught his attention, the man perking right up and the next thing you knew the man was all over you, the man boldly chatting you up.
Now, Adam was... well, he was a prick, but he had a charm to him when he w a s trying to be charming, the man a mix of complements and criticisms, the man always sure to play himself up.
Now, look, your not entirely proud, nor ashamed, but well... you fucked.
And admittedly... it was pretty good. Adam was a dick but, well, he knew how to use his... mostly.
And that's how you fucked the first man.
Now, you have no doubt his initial interest was all about your physical appearance, after all, your body had been what got you into heaven in the first place.
Now you'd think after that first night you'd never see the Man again, expecting to be another one of his 'conquests', before he moved along on.
Okay, so yeah, you had his number.
And yeah, he regularly called you up for a booty call.
But its not like you totally hung out after said booty calls. Eating takeout and casually chatting.
Or just laying on his belly as you scrolled your respective phones, neither of you saying anything as you just chilled.
And you totally didn't perk right up when you saw his caller ID, greeting him as 'dickmaster', the two of you flirting hard before you'd end up at his place.
And sure, you had a drawer at his place, and a pillow, not to mention a bathrobe.
...
...
...
Well fuck.
Okay, yeah, so you were, uh, 'going steady', not that the first man would admit as much, but yeah, things were, well, fun.
Sure Adam could be a dick, but with some strick words, and a smack across the face, the man was surprisingly apologetic. Like, he was still a dick, and an ardent one at that, but behind closed doors he was amazingly simple, the man quite chill as you enjoyed each other's company.
Now, you'd always kept your status as a sinner hidden, I mean, it's not like anyone suspected you, how could a sinner end up in heaven, am I right?
But you were in Hell, and well, he wasn't super open about it, but it was clear Adam detested the Sinners, the man proudly speaking on how much he despised them.
Your relationship would develope on for several months before he noticed something off with you.
"Where's your Halo?" He'd ask so causally after you'd both chewed down on some Chinese food.
You'd freeze, mind rushing as you thought up a valid excuse, going over the several you'd made up in a paranoid stupor.
"It... uh, it's kinda ugly, I keep it stored away."
The man stared at you for several minutes, before shrugging, the two of you going right back to how you were.
And so, you went on for several more months like this, growing even closer, spending a great amount of time with each other.
It'd be one day as the man goes on and on about 'filthy sinners' you unsure how to react, as on one hand you kinda were a sinner, but on the other you could go the rest of eternity without ever broaching the subject.
But well, why make things easy.
So you brought it up, asking him what he really though.
Unsurprisingly, the man had not a kind word about them, so you asked cooly what if you were a sinner?
Of course, you asked it in a flirty tone, the two of you quickly getting playful.
He'd tell you how he'd have to 'punish' you, giving you his 'righteous sword', the two of you having some especially nasty sex.
Your life was good, you and Adam got closer and closer, to the point you ended up moving in with him.
Everything was perfect... and then it wasn't.
You'd been found out. Over something so simple too.
Your blood.
You'd cut your finger.
You bled.
Their blood was gold.
Yours wasn't.
It hadn't come up, but one of the seraphim noticed, and... well.
The courtroom was something.
Adam losing his shit over this whole thing, while you just kept quiet.
Eventually you'd confess, telling them how you'd been ushered in during an extermination, you honestly not even sure where you were supposed to be.
You'd apologise to Adam, in tears as you told him you loved him, and that you never meant to cause any of this.
Now, it wasn't just a one sided argument, Adam as well as many of your friends came to your defence, many pointing out how you'd fit right in in heaven for ages, and now all of a sudden it was an issue?
That would certainly cause some issue amongst Heavens leadership.
Adam was especially vocal, saying he hated Sinners more than anybody but you clearly weren't like the other scum that get spit out into Hell, you were... special.
Now, there's 2 ways this could go.
1. Heaven simply doesn't care, expelling you from Heaven leaving your friends and Adam to fight for you. I doubt Adam would fall for you, but he'd certainly keep fighting for you, ironically, in this timeline, Adam would 100% be on Charlie's side. Man absolutely all for redemption.
Especially if you joined the hotel, you kinda being proof Sinners could live in heaven.
It'd be quite the star crossed lovers situation, the both of you from different worlds, doing your absolute best to be reunited.
Or 2. You'd be put under 'house arrest', you being restricted to a very limit area, I.e. Adams apartment, the two of you under guard most hours of the day while they 'figured things out'.
And youd basically spend all your time with Adam, the two of you growing even closer, and again, he'd be on Charlie's side this time around, man eager not so much to work with Hell, but to see if there was a way to get you in heaven permanently, he'd bloody well fight for it.
Emily
Showing up to heaven, you'd quite literally run into her, meeting Emily, the young Seraphim eager and always happy to meet a new resident of heaven.
Especially one as appealing to the eyes as you were.
You'd have some fun moments, the girl eagerly showing you around.
Funnily enough, that'd keep happening.
You'd find her randomly, or she'd find you, the two of you bumping into each other often as she showed somebody around.
And so, you'd tag along, the two of you often showing new residents the ins and outs of heaven. You gaining quite a large pool of friends for your efforts.
The two of you would steadily grow closer through this, spending lots of time together, you'd developed a fairly flirty relationship, as while she was undoubtedly innocent and pure, she wasn't above some playful flirting, though she always kept it wholesomely chaste.
You'd spend more and more time together,
Spending long periods together, you'd grow closer and closer, you and Emily developing quite the... ship.
I say 'ship' cause it wasn't quite a friendship, nor a relationship. You were in a limbo between the two.
It'd be one day after you stood up for her with a particularly rude arrival, the man seemingly loosing his mind.
Not all too odd. People had very different reactions to finding out they're dead.
But it'd be as you helped her too her feet, gently cupping her face that you'd ask her out on a date. Like, a date-date, kinda date.
And with that adorable blush of hers, she'd agree.
It was a simple affair.
You'd take her to dinner, a simple, humble dinner. Nothing crazy or over the top, just an intimate little thing.
Just like your relationship.
And after walking her home, you started dating with a warm kiss, and not much really changed.
You still spent all day together, showing arrivals around and just having fun.
But now~ you got to kiss. And you had date nights. Your relationship and romance only growing stronger by the day.
You'd actually end up telling Emily about you being a sinner.
It'd be something you wanted to tell her for ages, you telling her about everything.
How you were in Hell, and ended up in heaven, and you'd been there for so long you honestly didn't know where you belonged.
Emily of course was sooooo supportive, the woman promising to keep your secret, swearing to protect you.
You'd honestly live a very happy life with her, the two of you happy with just each other, even as you hid your past, constantly paranoid somebody would realise it one day.
Now there's kind of two ways this could go.
The first; your found out and Emily gets exposed for hiding you. A very serious action, though teeechically not illegal as it'd never been done before.
But still, knowingly hiding a sinner was a serious offence.
So, it could go two ways, either heaven realises that you aren't this evil monster, likely confining you to your home, monitoring you at all hours, likely only letting Emily visit.
It'd be tough, but upon Pentious' redemption the question of you being opened again, Emily being even more eager this time round.
Or they outright exile you, Emily potentially getting into trouble due to it.
Regardless of what happened, you and Emily would love each other, through thick and thin.
Lute
NOW!
I think we all know Lutes opinion on Sinners, an opinion she'd make sure you knew.And while it was a major insecurity for you, terrified she'd find out.
Of course, Lutes wouldn't believe it possible, you being a sinner. You were waaaaay to attractive to be some filthy Sinner.
Yet outside of that, you had such a passionate romance, the two of you doing many, MANY unholy deeds in the bedroom.
Your romance was... let's say physical.
Lute was a dominant individual, forced to be when dealing with Adam most days, as such, easily took charge of most situations.
Now, you'd keep your past hidden, naturally, not wanting to destroy your relationship.
The purges would be... a contentious point. The girl no doubt telling you, either directly or indirectly, and while she thought little of it, it would shake you, knowing the person you loved relished killing souls so avidly.
Lute... well, she'd certainly have a reaction to this.
Having the person she loved challenge her beliefs would leave her a little off guard, the woman forced to really reassess her beliefs.
Now, I don't see her genuinely changing those beliefs entirely, but I could see her toning them down, the woman maybe even a little compassionate to their plight.
Now... there's a reasonable chance Lute would figure out what you were, despite your good looks, the woman has first hand experience with Sinners, so she'd know far better then most on what a sinner looks like.
But she also wouldn't care too much to pay attention to what makes a sinner a 'sinner'.
But... well, it'd come out eventually.
Likely you telling her, confessing to her that your not sure if your supposed to be in Heaven or Hell, Lute completely caught off guard.
She'd likely outright ignore it, shrugging it off, believing it all a misunderstanding. And if you pushed the subject she'd shut you down, telling you not to talk about it.
But it'd be as you held her to your chest, the woman crying as she sat in your lap, arm missing.
You'd tell her your sorry, that you love her, but you were a sinner, and that you understood if she despised you, but you couldn't live a lie anymore.
And so, after caring for her, ensuring her arm was cared for, you'd turn yourself in
Ironically just as Pentious was reincarnated and well, the next step would be on Lute.
Hey y'all, I wanna thank you all for 4 THOUSAND FOLLOWERS!!! I am so honoured so many have deemed me good enough to follow.
(I do want to apologise for taking so long, I've been dealing with a tremendous amount of personal issues and haven't had much time for writing.)
But seriously, I wanna thank every last one of you for being here and supporting me. I love every last one of you and I hope my content has helped at least one of you feel better.
P.s. I would have done more angelic character, and might in the future, but I was drawing a blank and wanted to get this out asap.
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pitchsidestories · 1 month ago
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these rare moments II Ana Maria Crnogorčević x Reader
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a/n: dear readers, enjoy the cozy oneshot and thanks to @unpoppablebubbles, for sending us the request. This will be the only story we publish this week because unfortunately we both got quite sick.
masterlist I word count: 1797
“Hola guapa.”
There it was that warm voice and smile you’d recognize everywhere in the world. Alone by hearing her greeting words warmed up your heart.
“Ana?”, you replied surprised.
“Yes, I’m home for a few days.”, the Swiss woman explained cheerfully.
“Why didn’t you say anything? I’d have picked you up from the airport?”, you asked her, pulling your sports bag off your shoulder.
“Because I know you were busy?”, she answered amusedly pointing towards you, still dressed in Barca training gear.
“I hope you didn’t wait for too long.”
“Don’t worry about that.”, Ana-Maria shook her head.
“Do you want to go out for dinner or stay in tonight?”, you questioned.
“I thought we could stay in and cook something together.”, the blonde proposed with a big smile on her lips.
“Yes, that’s a nice idea, we weren’t able to do this since you moved to..”, you trailed off.
“It’s hard to cook together on two different continents. Unless I make breakfast and you make dinner.”, Ana Maria remarked light-hearted.
“Right.”, you sighed heavily, sadness swinging in your voice.
“But now I’m here to cook with you.”, she responded beaming.
“And making sure that nothing burns.”, you joked.
“I’d never burn food.”, the older player protested.
“You wouldn’t but I’d. Remember when we started dating and I tried to make pancakes for you in the morning?”, you reminisced fondly about the beginning of your relationship.
 It was a couple of weeks into the football season where Ana Maria was one of the new signings. You had formed a connection to her immediately.
You were the one teaching her Spanish initially but turned out she was skilled at languages and asked you on a date in your native language not long after the start of your lessons.
The first night she slept over at your home you wanted to treat her to pancakes in the morning which turned out to be a terrible mistake.
“Yes, they were all burned. I think you have to show me tomorrow if you’ve learned it by now.”, Ana Maria suggested smirking.
“I’ll.”, you promised.
“But first, let’s make dinner. Bet you’re starving from training.”, the blonde grinned, leading you to your kitchen.
While she was cutting the vegetables you jumped on to the kitchen counter.
“I’m, the kids are getting younger and younger, and I just feel old and exhausted after training.”, you admitted half-joking half serious.
“Oh, please. I know for a fact that you can still keep up with them easily.”, Ana Maria looked up at you with amusement.
“You do, hm? Are you trying to watch as many games as you can?”, you wanted to know curiously before helping her to cook.
Your girlfriend nodded with a proud smile: “Of course. Even if I miss them, I make sure to watch the highlights.“
“I do the same with yours.“, you admitted. Your heart suddenly beat a bit faster.
She laughed: “You do?”
“Of course. Wine to celebrate our reunion?”, you suggested innocently.
As you expected, she agreed: “Sure.“
There was a bottle of red wine in your cabinet that you had kept for a special occasion. And this occasion seemed very appropriate for it.
You poured two glasses of wine and slid one over to Ana Maria.
The food simmered on the stove as you both sat down at the kitchen table, talking about the past few month without each other.
The bottle emptied with time and your cheeks got warmer with every sip. The alcohol started to take effect and you could feel your brain move on to more pressing topics, topics you had to try to ignore for the past months.
“Have you thought about what you’re going to do after Seattle?”, you heard yourself ask.
You girlfriend studied your face for a moment before shrugging: “I don’t know. Why?”
“Just curious.“, you replied, painting small circles on the kitchen table with your fingertips.
“I’d love to come back to Europe but you know
 got to take what I am offered.“
Her voice was unusually quiet like she herself was worried about what would be coming next in her career. Or if anything would be coming next.
You looked back at her again and were surprised to find a fine line between her eyebrows. More evidence that she had thought about this topic more than once too.
You took a deep breath: “Yes, I know
 I thought maybe I could join you wherever you will go next.“
There was silence on Ana Marias side. She blinked at you for a moment. “You’re ready to potentially leave Spain?”
“Y-yes.“, you nodded. You hated the way your voice trembled. You were absolutely sure about that decision. You loved Spain but you loved being with your girlfriend a lot more.
She reached across the table, wrapping your hand into her own with a gentle smile: “Okay. We can see if we find a team that takes us both.“
You found the courage to smile back at her: “Alright.“
“I think that sounds like we have a deal. Cheers to that.“
She lifted her glass, clinking it against yours.
“Cheers.“
Relief washed over you, leaving you with a warm calmness. The past few months doing long-distance across two continents had been hard. Ana Marias absence in your shared apartment in Barcelona had haunted you more than you liked to admit.
“Shit, the food!”, your girlfriend suddenly called out. Before you knew what was going on, she jumped out of her chair and pulled the pan from the stove top.
You followed her, taking a look at the food and sighed when you saw that it hadn’t burned yet: “Just in time.“
“That was lucky.”, the Swiss player whistled, clearly relived seeing the dinner being unscathed.
With an amused twinkle in her eyes Anna Maria added. “You want to try it?”
A little moan escaped your lips after you took the first bite. Blushing you pressed a hand to your mouth. “Still tastes delicious.”, you confirmed smiling sheepishly.
Your girlfriends’ eyes had wandered off to the refrigerator where Mateos latest masterpiece was hanging.
“That’s from Mateo.”, you explained beaming proudly.
“He’s gotten so good at drawing. It’s very impressive.”, the blonde observed with a pinch of hurt in her voice.
You silently agreed.
“Please videocall me next time you babysit him.”, she wished.
“Oh, he’ll love that, Mateo misses you almost as much as I do.”, you confessed to her.
“You two are the cutest.”, Ana Maria chirmed, kissing your cheek lovingly. The older woman paused for a moment before continuing. “What would you like to do next?”
“You mean after dinner?”, you returned the question smirking.
“Yes, I mean I’ve to keep you as entertained as Mateo does.”, she insisted, a grin playing on her lips.
“There are many ways to entertain me. When you were in Seattle what did you want to do with me?”, you asked curiously.
“You want to know what I actually missed the most?”, the Swiss woman lifted an eyebrow playfully.
“Yes.”
“Cuddle under the sheets and watch a movie.”, Ana Maria admitted.
It was true when she awoke after a sleepless night in her bed in Seattle and the worries about her future were too heavy on her shoulders, she craved you laying next to her, telling her that everything would be alright.
“This sounds like the perfect ending to this evening if you ask me.”, you replied earnestly. You loved your team, but with a lot of them being in a relationship with a teammate made you feel a little lonely knowing that no one will wait for you when your home.
“I hoped you’d say that.”
“Come on, I’ll light some candles and turn on the fairly lights in the bedroom.”, you guided her softly to your bedroom.
“Perfect. I’m coming.”, Ana Maria hummed excitedly.
While you both had settled underneath the blanket, you put your head on to her chest. “Cozy, isn’t it?”
“I missed this.”, she said, her hand stroking your hair soothingly. To your girlfriend nothing felt more like home as you. Only the Swiss seas and alps were almost close so was her family. Spanish was her romantic language, the way to your lovers’ heart.
You inhaled her delicious scent, your eyes slowly falling, already half asleep.
“Buenas noches mi amor.”, Ana Maria whispered.
“TĂș tambiĂ©n.”
The next morning, you were woken up by the sun beams falling through the window onto your face. As you turned to Ana Maria, you realized that she was still sleeping peacefully, her body fully relaxed next to yours. You immediately knew that similar to you, she was having the best sleep she had in months.
With a smile, you peeled the sheets off of yourself and climbed out of bed, careful not to wake her up. With bare feet, you snuck into your kitchen to make breakfast. The coffee brewed on the side while you got started on the pancakes, determined to prove your girlfriend that you got better at making them.
You usually served your pancakes with powdered sugar and syrup but you knew Ana Maria liked hers with jam, so you arranged all of the toppings on a tray with the pancakes and the coffee to carry it over to the bedroom.
Your girlfriend blinked awake as you walked in, taking in the smell of breakfast that filled your apartment.
“Good morning.“, you smiled.
Ana Maria yawned: “Good morning. You made pancakes?”
“I did.“, you confirmed with the tiniest bit of pride.
“And they’re not burned?”, she asked with a laugh.
You shrugged slightly and set the tray down on the bed: “You need to try them.“
As you slipped under the covers again, Ana Maria tore a piece of the first pancake and chewed on it. “Oh wow, they’re delicious.“, she finally agreed.
You grinned at her: “See? I got better.“
“You did.“
There was a moment of comfortable silence as you both dug in before the pancakes could get cold.
You felt Ana Maria stop next to you and as you looked up, she stared at you.
You frowned at her: “What?”
“Wait.“, she said, her hand reaching out to remove some jam from the corner of your mouth.
You could feel the heat rise into your cheeks.
“Oh thanks.“, you laughed.
“You’re welcome.“
“You know what I missed? Those lazy mornings.“, you told her, biting you lip.
Ana Maria nodded slowly: “Me too. And I can’t wait to have more of those with you soon.“
“Same.“, you beamed and held up your coffee cup so Ana Maria could clink hers against it in a toast.
Maybe this was only for now but you decided to see this morning as a taste of your future together.
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sweetbans29 · 5 months ago
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Bowling - CC
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Pairing: Caitlin Clark x Reader
Summary: Date night with Caitlin - headcanon (based on THIS request)
Warnings: nothing, fluff
Word Count: 1.2k
Sweetbans Masterlist
AN: I am a huge fan of bowling. Am I good? No. I used to go weekly with friends and had gotten progressively worse.
You told Caitlin you wanted to go out for a date night but wanted to do something normal. Caitlin, of course, was completely on board and said she loves normal. You laughed at her and know the two of you have a different idea of normal. Your idea of normal was going out and having a fun night with your girl - maybe some sort of activity like bowling or an escape room. On the other side of that, your girlfriend is the single most competitive person you know. Sometimes not to her advantage. She hates to lose. And you don't blame her but she takes it to a whole other level. You thought it would be different with you, but you were very wrong.
"Okay, you owe...$320," you say and you hear her puff. "No way in hell do I owe that much," she says as her blood begins to boil. "Do you think I am lying?" You say with a laugh, you pass her the property card and point out the hotel cost. "I own this property and it had a hotel on it, therefore it is $320. Pay up, babe!" She reluctantly hands you the fake money and she rolls the dice again, landing on doubles again. She moves her piece the number of spaces and lets out another angry groan when she lands on another spot of yours. You tell how much she owes you but she refuses. "If you refuse - that means you forfeit and therefore lose," you tell her and she gets up. "This is stupid," she says and walks away from the table. "Hey, you are the one that chose the game - I am just playing it with you. It is not my fault that you don't know how to play Monopoly," you call out to her. She mutters a string of profanities and waves you off. You packed up the game and went to find your girl. She was lying in bed with a replay of a game on the TV. You come over and poke at her leg. She moves it away from you. "Babe, come on," you say and sit facing her. She doesn't say anything and keeps her attention on the game. Sighing, you move to sit next to her and try to cuddle into her side. She doesn't initially move as you wrap your arm around her waist and put your head on her shoulder. It was only when you began to fall asleep that you felt Caitlin's arm shift, bringing you to her side and rub your back. You know she isn't mad at you and you learned how her drive to win wasn't only on the court - it was in all areas of life.
You knew when you told Caitlin that you wanted to go out and do something that it would have to be something that she was decent at. So when you suggested either bowling or an escape room, she chose bowling.
It was a Thursday night and the two of you had just gotten to the bowling alley. You both got your shoes and headed to your lane, grabbing your choice of ball on the way.
You finish putting your shoes on and look over at your girl. "Ready love?" You ask and give her a hug. She kisses the top of your head. "You'll still love me regardless of how this game goes, right?" You ask in a joking manner. "Mmmhmm," she responds but you are not satisfied with her answer. You pull away and look at her. "Caitlin, you will love me regardless of who wins, correct?" You are looking her dead in the eye now as you wait for her response. "Of course, babe. Of course," she says as she leans down to give you a kiss. You turn your head so she kisses your cheek instead of you lips. "Good, because you are going down." You say sweetly and begin your turn.
The two of you took every frame like it was the championship game. You had made your tone clear that this wasn't going to be a friendly game but rather a full-blown competition - completely abandoning your initial stance of a 'normal' date. You knew that any time the two of you did something competitive it would never be normal. The game is neck and neck.
You step up, ball in hand. It is the last frame and Caitlin is up by 13. She got a spare in the final frame putting her comfortably in the lead. You would need to do the same to put yourself within winning distance. "Don't mess up," your girlfriend says in a teasing tone. You know she is nervous when she tries to get in your head. You take a deep breath and bowl. You get a strike. A smile dawning your face before as you walk to grab another ball to finish the game off. You finish off the frame, beating Caitlin by 4. You walk over to shake her hand but she just sits there with her arms crossed. "Babe, you did good - that was the best game either of us have bowled." You tell her as you squat in front of her, putting your hands on her crossed arms. She rolls her eyes and lets out a cute little huff. "Come on - there is still time for you to beat me in the arcade," you say and she stands. She begins walking to the arcade area but not before grabbing your hand to make sure you are with her.
Before you get too far you bring her back to change your shoes out. She was so focused on going to the arcade that she forgot she was still wearing her bowling shoes.
Once you both return the shoes, Caitlin and you walk hand in hand to the arcade games. As focused as she is on winning - she makes sure you are next to her.
You follow her around and play all the games that Caitlin wants. You don't take it easy on her but you do let her take the lead every now and again. You love winning but you love your girl more.
She ends up winning more tickets than you and is happy with her win. The two of you head over to the prize counter and she chooses a Nerf basketball while you choose candy and a little plastic dino.
When the two of you get home, you lounge on the couch. She turns on some game highlights and you curl up next to her. "I love you, but we should never do anything that involves a winner and a loser for a date ever again," you say. She lets out a little laugh and rubs your shoulder. "I think we can - we just need it to be on a group date and we need to be on the same team," she says and kisses the top of your head. "Ooo I like the way you think, I can call Lexi and her boyfriend - maybe we can go on a double date next weekend," you say scrolling through your phone. Caitlin laughs and brings you closer to her. "Whatever you want, babe," Caitlin says.
AN: I can't imagine Caitlin not being competitive but let me know what you think. And as always, thank you for your love and support đŸ€
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chlix · 3 months ago
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sharpest tool
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bf! chan x fem! reader: chan doesn't love you like you love him. you're not planning on doing anything about it
genre: angst, suggestive (but not actually very fun or sexy)
word count: 2.9k
warnings/tags: toxic relationships/situationships, arguing, self-worth issues
a/n: this fic is inspired by "sharpest tool" off sabrina carpenter's new album! i heard it and immediately knew i wanted to write for it. i also plan on doing other songs off the album with other members but we'll see if i get to that before the album loses all relevance 💀
“What’s new with you then?” your coworker Seohyeon asks once the lunch rush dies down. You’re wiping spilled coffee off the bar and she’s pretending to reorganize the stacks by the till, but really, you’re both just trying to look busy while you recover from the last round of customers. Seohyeon has already bitched about her evil landlord and snitched on your manager for critiquing the way the new girl set up the cup display. Now, it’s your turn to overshare. Unfortunately, your life is scant of any juicy details.
“Nothing. You know I have no life outside this job,” you say.
“So not true,” she says. “What about that guy who keeps hanging around waiting for you to get off every day? How’s that going?”
You stiffen. “It’s going.”
She hums sympathetically. “That bad, huh?”
You drop your rag in the bucket of sanitizer water and take a long breath.
“It’s not bad. It’s not really anything right now.”
“You know, I mentioned how he’s always waiting for you, but I haven’t really seen him in a couple of weeks.”
“You and me both,” you mutter. Unwittingly, your hands drift to your phone in your apron pocket, hoping it’ll buzz and you’ll get a text from Chan, as if he’d sense you thinking about him and give you the attention that you’ve been craving. When you first met, the two of you had that kind of psychic connection. It was like you were of one mind. He was everything you wanted in a guy. He still is.
That’s what makes this all so difficult.
The idea of Chan using you as a warm body isn’t inherently distressing. Or, it wouldn’t have been, if he’d posed the idea initially. Maybe if he’d asked you for that up front, then you would’ve known better than to catch feelings. Or at least if you had, then you could take all the blame unto yourself for being softhearted, overly optimistic. He could be blameless. This would be easier if he was a bad person. Or maybe he is, and you just love him too much to care.
“If you want to talk about it, I’m all ears,” Seohyeon says.
“There’s not much to say. We weren’t really even dating. I think. I mean, he doesn’t owe me anything.”
Seohyeon gives you a knowing look, and it makes anything else you were planning on saying stick in your throat.
“Get well soon, girl,” she says, and turns back to the till. You swallow, pick up the bucket of dirty water, and go to dump it out in the sink in the back.
Chan does not come in at the end of your shift and wait for you. Of course not. He does text you, though.
Hey, he says. It’s the first time he’s spoken to you in a week. The casual nature of it swallows you alive.
Hey
Busy tonight?
Never for you <3
My place? 8?
It’s almost pathetic of you to keep falling for the same old trick. Can it even be called a trick if you’re neither fooled nor impressed? You always knew you were just a placeholder, filling in the gaps for when he can’t have the girls he really wants. He doesn’t have to make it so obvious, though.
Placeholder. It’s one of those thoughts that as soon as it crosses your mind, you know you’ve already lost. You’re not sure if Chan realizes that’s what he’s turned you into. You can’t really blame him. You only recently realized it yourself. You’ve been hooking up for months, you’ve been hanging out with his friends, you’ve been posting each other and having cozy nights in with long conversations that last until the early morning. He’s your baby. You’re his girl. But you’re not his girlfriend. Six missing letters and suddenly, you’re the crazy one.
You wonder if Chan knows how these periods of long silence make you feel like a cheap lay, like someone he doesn’t even know. Maybe he does, and this is all an elaborate manipulation tactic that’s working distressingly well. Maybe he doesn’t know, and you’re projecting malice onto his thoughtlessness.
It doesn’t matter either way. You know it, and you’re still going to go.
Ok <3
You put your phone away and start walking to the bus. You need to go home and get ready.
You arrive at his apartment just before eight pm. He hates it when people aren’t punctual, and you hate it when he’s upset, so here you are, shaved and showered and dressed all pretty. You’ve developed a scarcity mindset around him- you need to make sure every time he sees you is perfect because the incidents are so few and far between. You need to look irresistible, so enticing that he’ll be begging to come see you again. It’s so pathetic that you piss yourself off on a daily basis.
You fix your hair and clothes, ring his doorbell. He answers the door, all smiles and muscle tees, and it almost makes you forget that you haven’t seen him since the last full moon. It’s like a thirst that doesn’t make itself known until that first drop of water.
“Hey, baby,” he says, drawing you into his arms. He kisses you deeply, not lustful but loving and you let yourself fall into it.
“Missed you,” he says, low in your ear. He smells like aftershave, like sandalwood and pine.
“Missed you more.”
He pulls you into his apartment and closes the door behind you so he can press you up against it and kiss you again. He licks into your mouth, and you let him, bringing your own hands up to cup his face. The barest bit of his stubble tickles against your palms. His body is warm and solid against you, it makes your knees weak, makes your heart race. For the moment, you forget every grievance you’ve ever had with him. You forget how upset you were at work today, and Seohyeon’s pity, and how empty your phone has been lately. The world outside the two of you might as well not exist.
Chan’s hands slide up under your shirt, pressed against your stomach. Your gut twists.
The illusion shatters.
You pull your lips away from him.
“Chan,” you say, trying to be authoritative, but you’re breathless. He moves away from your mouth and latches onto your neck, and your body reacts without your permission, arching into the touch, but you pull your hands away and press on his chest.
“Chan, stop.”
He lets you push him, taking a step back and looking down at you with blown wide eyes.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I’m just
not feeling it.”
“Right, sorry. Didn’t mean to pounce on you. We can move to the bedroom if you want?”
“No
” That sticky feeling is building in your throat again. “I’m just not really in the mood for sex at all, right now.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
Awkward silence stretches between you. He’s just looking at you, unsure how to proceed, and you want to die a little more every minute.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come. I’ll just- I’ll go-”
“No, wait!” He catches your arm as you go to turn away. “You don’t have to leave. I’m the one who’s sorry. You shouldn’t have to apologize for something like this.”
“Okay
”
He kisses your forehead again, affectionate and chaste. “I’m glad you came. I wasn’t lying about missing you, yeah? Let’s just have a chill night in.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. We’ll order in. It’ll be nice.”
You let out a long breath and pull him into a hug. He embraces you, and your ear ends up pressed against his chest. You can hear his heartbeat thrumming under his ear, soothing, reassuring.
Okay. Okay okay okay.
You try to have a good night, you really do. You want to be happy when you’re around him, but it’s like a switch has flipped in your head and it’s impossible to truly relax. He orders food from your favorite place without you having to even ask.
“You want your usual?” he asks.
“You still remember my usual?”
“I remember everything about you, love.”
You think about earlier, how he’d known to text you as soon as you got off work yet hadn’t made the effort to actually show up like he used to. You tell him your usual is fine and kiss him on the cheek.
When the food arrives, you curl together on the couch under blankets and put on some show as background noise. There was a drama you were watching together, but he doesn’t bring it up and neither do you. As he pulls up Netflix, you notice the title card in his Recently Watched, but you haven’t been over in so long that you know it can’t be from the last time you were together. He doesn’t pause, skipping over it completely to select another random thumbnail.
“This okay?”
You hum an affirmative and the Netflix logo appears on the screen, signaling the start of the episode. You eat your food and try to focus on how good it tastes instead of how leaden your stomach feels.
As the night wears on, you realize that he’s being cagey. He asks you questions about your life and your job, about your sister and her baby and your plans for the holidays. He’s always been a good listener, always attentive and empathetic and curious. He’s been good at getting secrets out of you as long as you’ve known him.
I’ve never told anyone this before, you would start sentences, but I feel like I can trust you.
You can, he’d respond. I’d never judge you. I care about all of you, even the parts you might not care about yourself.
Always so welcoming, so loving. It had you spilling your guts after only the third date.
I’m rambling, I’m sorry. You don’t need to hear about all my baggage.
Y/n, I want to know anything you’re willing to tell me. Communication is important in relationships. It builds strong foundations.
And yet here he is, only a few months later, dodging all your questions about where he’s been or what he’s been up to.
“How’s work?”
“It’s been alright.”
“You’re pretty busy around this time of year, aren’t you?”
Chan shrugs. “Yeah, but I’m used to it by now.”
You nod around the fork in your mouth, unsure how to continue the line of inquiry. You try again, another topic this time.
“Did you hear about that giant pile up downtown? There were like ten cars involved.”
“I haven’t been watching the news much lately.”
“Well what have you been watching?”
“I’ve kind of had other things going on. Not much time for leisure.”
“Right. You said you were busy with work.”
He doesn’t reply to this. You want to shrink into the couch cushions and coil inside one of the springs.
You eat in silence for a while, eyes flittering between the screen and his face. Once or twice, his phone will ding, and he’ll pick up and scroll through it, shoot back a quick reply. You don’t ask who’s contacting him. When he’s done, he sets his phone face down on the table, out of your reach.
When you’re both done, he takes the empty containers from you and goes to dispose them. His hair bounces as he moves, curling around his ears and the tops of his brows.
“Your hair’s getting long.”
“Is it?” He pulls at a loose curl, stretching it out in front of him critically. “Guess I should get it cut.”
“Nooo, I like it. It suits you.”
He glances at you shyly. “You think?”
“I know. You look adorable.”
“I can’t be walking around adorable. What would that do to my image?”
“Right. Mr. Tough Guy Bang Chan, who always has short hair and thick biceps. There’s a brand image to consider.”
“Exactly! I knew you’d understand.” His cheeks dimple in his smile, but it’s shaky, and it disappears as quickly as it came. “And anyway, I just don’t think
” He trails off.
“Don’t think what?”
Chan stays quiet for a while, lost in thought. You’re unsure whether or not to push, but before you can say anything else, he snaps out of it. He shakes his head as if to clear it and throws an apologetic look your way.
“Never mind. Just getting too into my head.”
Concerned, you rise from the couch and cross the room to his kitchen.
“Is everything okay?”
“Of course. Don’t worry about me.”
“Of course I worry about you. I care about you.”
Chan isn’t meeting your eyes. “Just leave it alone, y/n. It’s stupid anyway.”
“Something bothering you could never be stupid.”
“I said just leave it alone.” His voice is harsh now, face hardened in the way he does when he’s not being nice anymore. He’s putting his walls up and you don’t understand why, and it’s tearing at you, the cumulative weight of all this distance.
“Okay. Whatever then.”
You turn around and start walking back towards the couch.
“Whatever?”
The audacity to sound offended after the way he’s been treating you.
“I can’t make you talk to me. If you don’t want to tell me anything then why keep asking?”
“Don’t be dramatic. I’ve been talking to you all night.”
“No, you haven’t. You’re shutting me out.”
“Shutting you out?” He sounds genuinely confused. You stop halfway back to the living room and turn to look at him.
“Yes, that’s what I said.”
He lets out a short laugh and pushes his curly bangs away from his forehead, hands alight with anxious energy.
“Y/n I invited you over here. We’ve been talking and watching the show. I thought we were having a good night. Now I want to keep one thought to myself and I’m ‘shutting you out’?”
That same twisting in your gut starts up again.
“You’re making me sound so unreasonable.”
“I mean, can’t you see how this looks from my perspective?” He turns away from you and pinches the bridge of his nose, like he’s developing a headache. Like he’s the one being tormented. “Sometimes I feel like you and I are living in different realities.”
It’s like a dagger in your chest. All your indignation leaves you, leaking out of you and pooling at your feet in a sad little puddle of self-respect.
“Don’t say that.”
“I don’t know what else you want me to say.”
You set out of your ring of self-loathing and approach the island where he is, still turned away from him. You reach out a shaking hand and turn him to face you. When you meet his eyes, you see frustration, confusion, and helplessness.
You’re a placeholder. You know it, Seohyeon knows it, the girl he’s been texting all night knows it. It’s possible Chan doesn’t.
That’s fine. You know it, and you’re in love with him anyway.
You press your hands against his chest, leaning up so you can look right in his eyes.
“I’m sorry,” you say. “You’re right. I’ve been on edge lately; I didn’t mean it.” You smile, self-deprecating, embarrassed. “Forgive me?”
Chan lets out a long breath. He grabs your hand and kisses it, then keeps holding on to it, his grip strong and secure.
“Nothing to forgive. I’ve been all over the place too. But we’re here now, together. So let’s just relax, yeah?”
You nod. He leans down and kisses you. The twisting in your gut persists, but you don’t pull away until he does.
“Let’s go finish this episode,” he says, and goes to lead you both back to the living room.
The night feels like a failure. You can’t figure out why, but the thought of just finishing your show and then putting your coat and boots back on and leaving feels like accepting defeat. Your legs are unstable underneath you, but not in the way they were earlier, when Chan was kissing you like his life depended on it. Now, you are standing at the top of a very tall hill, fighting against gravity to remain upright on the slope.
Get well soon, girl.
You close your eyes tightly, then reach forward and grab the back of Chan’s shirt. He jolts, surprised, then turns back to you. You release his jacket as he turns and grab his hand instead, lacing your fingers together.
“Forget the show,” you say. “Take me to bed.”
His eyes widen. “Are you sure? Earlier you said-”
“I’m too in my head. You’re right. I should try to relax. I haven’t seen you in weeks.” You get on tiptoe and lean up to his ear and whisper. “You can make me feel better, right Channie?”
Chan’s fingers tighten around yours. When you lower yourself back onto your heels, he’s looking down at you with dark eyes. You push down your unease, leave it abandoned on the floor with your anger and ego and heartbreak.
“You’re sure.”
“Never surer. Unless you don’t want-”
He effectively silences you by sweeping you into his arms, lifting you up like you weigh nothing.
“Baby, you have no idea the things I want.”
You laugh, shocked at the display of strength, and wrap your arms around him as he carries you away. The last thing you see before he shuts the bedroom door is his phone on the table, vibrating with an unanswered call.
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