#i usually stay out of discourse

[oarfishing]

this?

this is terf shit.

idc if you're technically "including" trans people in your man-hating.

this is terf shit.

"men are completely evil due to their gender"? terf shit. "marginalized men telling me to step away from bioessentialism are evil?" terf shit. "women are the top most oppressed class?" terf shit. "transmascs act like victims?" terf shit. all that "sisterhood" "i hate men" "i love other women who hate men let's bond over how much we hate men"? that's terf shit. sure, it's not technically "trans exclusionary" since look, see, they love trans women! but if you examine what terfs and radfems like them actually believe - that is, the root behind all of their ideology - this sort of gender essentialism is exactly their platform.

a PSA to all the lovely people out there, especially trans people: if you see somebody like this, somebody talking like this, they are not your friend. prioritizing hate over love is not the trans ally take they think it is.

and if you are a woman and you think you get to speak over any and all sorts of marginalized men who go through so much shit not just in spite of but because of their gender, you are not an "intersectional feminist." you are not a trans ally. if you think trans people who fight for trans rights - which includes trans men, if you can believe it - are just "MRA"s, you are not! a! safe! person!

stay safe out there 💓 trans love forever

[muirmarie]

Me: I joke about writing the same McCoy centric story over and over again in different ways

Me: and like. I love doing it and imma keep doing it because it makes me happy.

Me: but also. I do sometimes wonder if it's like. A little Much.

Me: like maybe I should branch out or something

Me: [reads another fundamental and extremely insulting misread of McCoy's character by someone who is clearly making a Choice to cast McCoy as the villain, because they have to get him out of the way of spirk, because they're too???? idk immature??? to realize that even when you're in a relationship with one person, other ppl can and SHOULD still be important to you]

Me: lmao I hope I AM too much actually!!!! I hope it is 100% obnoxious how much I love that doctor!!!!! Time to write more versions of the same story of McCoy being forced to realize that he is loved and cared for!!!!!!

Me: I KNOW MY NICHE AND IMMA DIE IN THAT NICHE, THANKS

[just-a-little-unionoid]

Izzy haters are so funny for real bc they're like, how dare the Everyone Can Become Better Of A Person show allow this one character I don't like to become better of a person

[tariah23]

I rly don’t see how ppl be 20+ shipping kids anymore tbh… like, it’s so rampant and I don’t see the appeal to it anymore being as tho I’m in my late 20’s.

[jennycalendar]

just gonna go out and outright say it like . play with the slayer/vampire dichotomy all you want that's cool but maybe comparing spike wearing nikki wood's coat to a "berserker wearing animal skins" is not the win that you think it is and is actually horrendously fucking racist and the fact that apparently a whooOoOle bunch of my mutuals just REBLOGGED that is ! okay! still bothering me the next day

[tellmegoodbye]

I've had some time to collect my thoughts after a couple of days so here they are even though nobody asked.

I really loved the finale. It was devestating, no doubt, but I think this is their best one yet and I absolutely loved how they handled it. There was so much grieving in this episode, not just from Carlos, but from Owen and Judd as well. But despite everything they chose happiness and the wedding ending up being beautiful and bittersweet and joyful all at once.

There has been the question of deleted scenes but there's really only one we've seen so far that I would have loved to see in the episode. Other than that, I'm just glad we get to have them all as extras. I don't think the wedding needed them though.

Another thing I'd like to add is that yes, sometimes storylines can feel rushed in shows where you have a lot of characters and especially if there are clear favorites within a fandom. There was a lot going on, but that doesn't necessarily mean any one character's storyline is less valuable than another's. I guess I'm speaking as less of a fandom member and just more as an enjoyer of the show if that makes any sense. I love all of the characters in this show, and while I would be lying if I said I liked every single storyline, that doesn't mean I wish they didn't happen. In this case, however, I loved all of the storylines and I think they all made sense together given the theme of this episode. I personally don't think any of them shouldn't have been there in favor of getting more wedding content.

Honestly, my only regret is not getting off of tumblr as soon as the final bts stuff started coming out. I'm pretty bad when it comes to guessing things so if I hadn't been aware of the theories I literally would have had no idea and it would have hit me so much harder. It still got me pretty good though.

Again these are just my opinions so feel free to ignore everything I say if you didn't feel the same. I'm happy though, and I'm going to continue being incredibly annoying about this show. ♡

[memecatwings]

ofmd is a completely different show than black sails and they shouldnt be compared in the slightest the only thing they have in common is being pirate shows. that being said. if someone held james flint at gunpoint and threatened him to accept a pardon from england he would have eaten the bullet instead because he's not a shitfish coward and he has pricipals

[lettersiarrange]

hey are you a terf ? you've been reblogging stuff from radfems ...

No, I'm not a terf, I support trans people 100%. Also terfs are uncomfortably cozy with the alt-right and that's uhhh... a whole other layer of awful.

But I think I may be following a secret terf? Tumblr keeps showing me these posts that are like "liked by someone you're following!" And I follow 4k people so I'm not like. Keeping track of anyone but my mutuals. And some of the posts tumblr shows me are obviously terfy which makes me go HMMMM but then some of them seem fine? So it's hard for me to tell the difference between "posts tumblr reccomends me that are normal and in line with the regular leftist and feminist things I'm into" vs like "posts tumblr reccomends me because they're liked by whatever secret terf I'm following and have suspicious undertones that aren't immediately obvious to me". I'm certainly not intentionally following any terfs or following anyone who publicly identifies as a terf* or puts terf shit on my dash but I'm apparently following someone who doesn't blog about terf shit but LIKES terf shit (and I think it might be a fandom blog so that makes it harder to identify) and then those likes show up on my dash and it's not always obvious that it's terf shit or from a radfem blog-- it's just a random posts from a url I don't know. And sometimes the posts themselves are fine on the initial read.

So pls let me know what the radfem blogs in question are so I can identify and remember them if they pop up on my dash again

*caveat that I've been on this website for 10+ years and follow 4,000+ people and it's theoretically possible that a blog I followed multiple years ago that I never see on my dash now publicly identifies as a terf, but I'm not gonna go through all 4k of my following to try and find out if any of them have become publicly shitty in a way that doesn't affect my dash in the years since I've followed them. People get unfollowed as they bring shitty views to my attention. Hence the conundrum with the undercover terf bc they don't post terf shit, they just like it.

[hogmilked]

guys i did it i had an addition to a post entirely misunderstood and had people get mad about it. first time in ten years here i feel like i’ve truly grown up

[darksidecola]

you can fully understand that women are oppressed for being women and that trans women sit at a uniquely disadvantaged intersection without insisting trans men have the same systemic access to privilege that cis men do. I won't even claim like some people do that we don't hold privilege over trans women. You can fully understand all of this and not tell us to shut up about our own experience. When we speak about the systemic ways cis women have hurt us and kept us as an underclass to them (not an assertion that they top the hierarchy and NOT and assertion that they are not oppressed), when we speak about out suffocating invisibility, when we talk about the material harm of being outed and how being closeted is not a privilege, you dont have to minimize it or deny it or compare it to the greater oppression of trans women at every turn. The people who cannot speak about their own position without reflexively comparing it to trans women's are assholes, and yes even pretty transmisogynist, but that knife does cut both ways. Theorizing our own position is not an appropriation of transmisogyny theory. We're allowed to attempt self understanding. We're allowed to understand the transmasculine position with more detail than "transphobia but not as bad as transfems have it".

You object to "transandrophobia" on etymological grounds or cause you have beef with its coiner? Yeah alright im not opposed to creating more appropriate language, what's your proposed alternative? I'm sorry but it is not simply transphobia, because i am not simply trans without gender. I am a transgender man and the world wants me detransitioned or dead for it.

[chacusha]

Kind of random thoughts on anti/proship camps but I was looking at an example of an anti tweet today -- the text was, ”[x] is 50+ years old, [y] is 16 / this is canon btw. / (you are accidentally a map)”. And I was kind of struck by the weird contrast between how flippant and dashed off the language of the tweet sounds and how serious the accusation is. It’s an almost comical kind of contrast, which made me kind of realize... I think I have some kind of detector trained in my brain on language styles, which is that I tend to think when someone writes in typical English language (the style in which I’m writing this post, with clearly demarcated sentence starts/ends and thoughts that are arranged in a clear argumentative structure, use of punctuation and capitalization to make words easier to separate and grok) by default, I think I tend to assume they are probably a proshipper and conversely, if someone typically posts in lapslock (by this I mean not just leaving the first letter of a sentence uncapitalized but not capitalizing anything, smooshing sentences together into a long stream of words, low amount of punctuation and high amounts of abbreviation like u, ur, ppl, thx, btw, etc., and typos left in), my credence that they’re an anti goes up.

Obviously this is definitely not one-to-one, as in, there are plenty of examples of people who fall in one camp and default write in the other style, but I do think there’s some kind of clustering/correlation here at least? Or is that just me / what I’m seeing in my neck of the woods?

If I’m right that there is some kind of correlation between writing style and proship/anti position, I wonder why that would be. I’ve come up with four possible explanations:

1. It’s just marking a generational difference. How we type on the internet is probably a pretty strong function of the year we first started using the internet,  because the mental model of what the internet is and how you’re supposed to communicate on it has probably changed over time. Like you know how older people will sometimes treat writing emails as the same as sending someone a letter? It’s like that -- the era you started using the internet probably influences what mode of writing you view as natural to use on websites. So people in my generation, for example, grew up on Web 1.0 and viewed websites as a kind of electronic way of publishing writing similar to newspaper articles or books and so we default to that style when writing. Proship/anti positions correlate with age and so writing style correlates with proship/anti membership.

2. Same as above with a slightly different explanation: It’s just marking a generational difference but in particular it’s a result of how the internet has changed over time in a way that punishes or incentivizes different writing styles. People who grew up on the Wild West Internet are used to more privacy due to things being very decentralized/fragmented and lack of professionalized social media accounts. People who grew up on modern social media, though, are more used to a kind of Panopticon Internet where everything you do and say is highly visible and extremely scrutinized. Therefore, the informal lapslock maybe developed as a way of signalling “this is a very dashed off thought, there is very little editing happening between when I thought it and when I posted it (if any at all) please don’t take this post seriously. in fact if you take this obviously jokey post too seriously that just makes YOU look bad.” It’s a kind of irony and visible lack of editing as a defense mechanism against people attacking you or drawing you into a serious, prolonged argument that you have no interest in engaging in. So the internet environment might be affecting writing style, and what kind of internet you were socialized in could therefore affect that? So here again, the correlation between proship/anti position and writing style could just be tracking age.

3. Rather than tracking age, writing style is just tracking social networks. Antis tend to hang out and be friends with antis; proshippers tend to hang out and be friends with proshippers. When you interact with people, especially over an extended period of time, you try to match the way you speak with the way they speak. It’s a bit of socialization which has led to a basically random/arbitrary divergence in communication styles.

4. Writing style and proship/anti position are both maybe the result of something a bit more upstream: personality type. I remember from a long time ago, I came across word clouds that people made featuring words that tend to be associated more with one end of a particular Big 5 personality trait. The word clouds are all fascinating but in particular the anti lapslock style I described at the beginning seems to bear the most resemblance to the word cloud associated with low Openness to Experience, which is plausibly something that could be correlated to anti positions too (although obviously I have zero evidence to support this). (I don’t think it’s fair to say people with low openness to experience are unintelligent and also I don’t think it’s fair to say people who misspell words or use a lot of abbreviations and shorthand don’t know how to spell words out or couldn’t do it if they had to; in fact, I think it’s a purposeful affectation. But I do think it’s fair to say that people with low openness tend to be less introspective/reflective and also dislike getting new information that could change their opinion and the lapslock style similarly conveys (intentionally) a lack of any particular introspection or nuance that would come from deeply considering a subject and editing one’s words before posting.) A bit farfetched but it does make me wonder if proship/anti positions have any correlation to personality traits, and I kind of wish someone would investigate this.

So anyway, this is just a weird phenomenon I noticed, and I’m wondering if anyone has also noticed the same thing and if any of my explanations sound plausible if so.

[badxwolf]

If you’re going to be anti tenrose, my posts are not the place to do it. Nine and Ten, while different incarnations, are the same character. There is literally nothing in the text of the show to even remotely suggest Ten loves Rose any less than Nine did. It is, in fact, the complete opposite. Had Donna not stopped him, Ten would have died because of his grief at losing her.

His love for her is part of how they filmed the show. They used special equipment during The Stolen Earth so he could run to her as fast as possible.

To quote Graham Harper:

“And the Doctor sees Rose for the first time since series 2! And they’ve found each other, she’s found him! D’you know, I’ve never used quad-bikes since I did Doctor Who. Ocne you’ve got a quad bike he can run as fast as he likes. He doesn’t have to pull it, he doesn’t have to pretend, he can really go for it.”

And David Tennant:

“You know, just in terms of acting a scene like that, if Rose is over there and she’s all you want in the universe and you’re desperate to get to her, you want to be able to run flat out, don’t you?”

The last person he went to visit before he died was Rose so that he could see her one last time, even if she had no idea who he was. He did not, in any way, forget her.

Christopher Eccleston on if he would travel with another Doctor's companion. x

[wordstome]

how c.ai works and why it's unethical

Okay, since the AI discourse is happening again, I want to make this very clear, because a few weeks ago I had to explain to a (well meaning) person in the community how AI works. I'm going to be addressing people who are maybe younger or aren't familiar with the latest type of "AI", not people who purposely devalue the work of creatives and/or are shills.

The name "Artificial Intelligence" is a bit misleading when it comes to things like AI chatbots. When you think of AI, you think of a robot, and you might think that by making a chatbot you're simply programming a robot to talk about something you want them to talk about, and it's similar to an rp partner. But with current technology, that's not how AI works. For a breakdown on how AI is programmed, CGP grey made a great video about this several years ago (he updated the title and thumbnail recently)

I HIGHLY HIGHLY recommend you watch this because CGP Grey is good at explaining, but the tl;dr for this post is this: bots are made with a metric shit-ton of data. In C.AI's case, the data is writing. Stolen writing, usually scraped fanfiction.

How do we know chatbots are stealing from fanfiction writers? It knows what omegaverse is [SOURCE] (it's a Wired article, put it in incognito mode if it won't let you read it), and when a Reddit user asked a chatbot to write a story about "Steve", it automatically wrote about characters named "Bucky" and "Tony" [SOURCE].

I also said this in the tags of a previous reblog, but when you're talking to C.AI bots, it's also taking your writing and using it in its algorithm: which seems fine until you realize 1. They're using your work uncredited 2. It's not staying private, they're using your work to make their service better, a service they're trying to make money off of.

"But Bucca," you might say. "Human writers work like that too. We read books and other fanfictions and that's how we come up with material for roleplay or fanfiction."

Well, what's the difference between plagiarism and original writing? The answer is that plagiarism is taking what someone else has made and simply editing it or mixing it up to look original. You didn't do any thinking yourself. C.AI doesn't "think" because it's not a brain, it takes all the fanfiction it was taught on, mixes it up with whatever topic you've given it, and generates a response like in old-timey mysteries where somebody cuts a bunch of letters out of magazines and pastes them together to write a letter.

(And might I remind you, people can't monetize their fanfiction the way C.AI is trying to monetize itself. Authors are very lax about fanfiction nowadays: we've come a long way since the Anne Rice days of terror. But this issue is cropping back up again with BookTok complaining that they can't pay someone else for bound copies of fanfiction. Don't do that either.)

Bottom line, here are the problems with using things like C.AI:

It is using material it doesn't have permission to use and doesn't credit anybody. Not only is it ethically wrong, but AI is already beginning to contend with copyright issues.

C.AI sucks at its job anyway. It's not good at basic story structure like building tension, and can't even remember things you've told it. I've also seen many instances of bots saying triggering or disgusting things that deeply upset the user. You don't get that with properly trigger tagged fanworks.

Your work and your time put into the app can be taken away from you at any moment and used to make money for someone else. I can't tell you how many times I've seen people who use AI panic about accidentally deleting a bot that they spent hours conversing with. Your time and effort is so much more stable and well-preserved if you wrote a fanfiction or roleplayed with someone and saved the chatlogs. The company that owns and runs C.AI can not only use whatever you've written as they see fit, they can take your shit away on a whim, either on purpose or by accident due to the nature of the Internet.

DON'T USE C.AI, OR AT THE VERY BARE MINIMUM DO NOT DO THE AI'S WORK FOR IT BY STEALING OTHER PEOPLES' WORK TO PUT INTO IT. Writing fanfiction is a communal labor of love. We share it with each other for free for the love of the original work and ideas we share. Not only can AI not replicate this, but it shouldn't.

(also, this goes without saying, but this entire post also applies to ai art)

[skinnedkate]

some ppl are so crass when it comes to dennis’ sa in the library. i get the show itself is crass abt it, but that doesnt mean i wanna get slapped across the face with a joke abt it while scrolling on twitter

[ellecdc]

Can i request something bit angsty? 🥺 its totally fine if you dont wanna write it tho!

I was thinking, wolfstar x reader got into an argument and reader started to occlude and the boys got scared they might be out of line bcs she only occlude when shes really hurting?

this is my SHIT - love me some hurt/comfort. thanks for requesting, lovie 🫶

poly!wolfstar x fem!reader

CW: hurt/comfort, arguing, mention of past family discourse, toxic family memories

“I’m sorry. You did what?” Sirius beseeched, walking into the living room from the kitchen and interrupting the points (arguments) you and Remus were each in the process of making. You gave him an unimpressed look, knowing he wasn’t actually asking you to repeat yourself, he just couldn’t believe what he had heard.

“She gave Mary-Ella over a grand.” Remus muttered bitterly.

“I did not give Mary-Ella money, I loaned her money.” You were quick to correct.

Sirius just scoffed. “Sure you did, dollface.” He sneered, making his usual pet-name burn to the touch. “You are never going to see that money again.”

“What were you thinking?” Remus implored.

“I was thinking that my friend was in a bind and needed help. I hardly think that’s a crime.” 

“You didn’t just loan a little bit of money, though. You loaned a lot of money to a friend who is not reliable in the slightest.” Remus asserted.

“We have been working so hard trying to save up to move. To move closer to Diagon Alley so that Remus can be closer to work, and we can finally get out of my uncles flat.” Sirius added.

“I know we’ve been working hard, Sirius. I know this because I too have been working hard. But I’m not going to watch my friend struggle when there’s something I could do to help!”

“This choice impacted all of us. You had no right to make this decision on your own.”

It was your turn to scoff as you turned to glare at Remus incredulously. You had been trying to stay patient, knowing that this close to the moon, Remus was feeling extra sensitive. But him ganging-up on you with Sirius quickly found what little patience you had running thin. “I 'had no right' to make a decision about money that I made on my own?”

“You have no ground to stand on, buttercup. You’re now out more than a grand because of this choice; we’re all out more than a grand because of your choice.” Sirius growled, tone full of derision.

“If the roles were reversed, Mary-Ella would help me out!” You tried to reason, only for Remus to bark a laugh.

“That doesn’t even matter, dove. Because you’d never be in her position and likewise, she’d never be in yours. She’s irresponsible, unreliable, and a mooch.”

You tried to ignore the burning sensation in your sinuses as you spoke to the back of Remus’ head; he apparently had grown so disgusted with you that he couldn’t even look at you anymore. 

“I don’t like you talking about my friends like that. I don’t understand why we’re making such a big deal about this, I jus-” but you were cut off as Remus stood abruptly and turned on you. 

“We’re making this a big deal because it is a big deal!” he bellowed. “You leave this apartment in the morning and it’s like Sirius and I don’t exist anymore. You conduct yourself like some single woman with no responsibility to anyone else but herself.”

“You’re being selfish. You can’t possibly expect to drop a bomb on us like this and, what, expect us to just reply with ‘yes dear’? You fucked up, Y/N.” Sirius added, arms crossed defensively over his chest and cold silver eyes glared daggers that permeated your entire being. Remus carried on, unperturbed by the effects this conversation was having on you.

You felt like you were seventeen again, like you were eleven, nine, six. You felt like a babe whose hand had been slapped for reasons beyond your comprehension.

Do you ever stop and think about the consequences, Y/N?

You were sitting at the dining room table as your father lashed you with his words, each sentence punctuated with the slamming of his fists on the table. You were standing on the platform having just reunited with your parents after the school year as your mother’s claws dug into your arms, warning you that punishment was to come later if you didn’t smarten up. You were cowering in the backyard as your father screamed at you in front of the entire neighbourhood – a free show for all to enjoy. 

You think crying will earn you any sympathy here? You’re a manipulative little witch if you think that will work on me. Keep crying and I’ll give you something to cry about. 

You felt naked – like your figurative clothes had been violently ripped from your body – and there you stood, stripped bare for all to leer at. Standing before two people...who were meant to love you unconditionally...as they laced their words with venom and spat vitriol at you.

You couldn’t even hear the point Remus was trying to make anymore. It didn’t matter anyway.

He hated you. You were hated. You were a disappointment, a burden, unwanted.

But you couldn’t cry – could never cry. You’d just be manipulating them. You were deceitful. Emotions were deceitful. The way you felt was wrong. And they were right.

Always right. 

So, you did what you always did; you made it quiet. 

You began layering rows of stones around your being. Protection. Space. Distance. Safety.

They couldn’t hurt you from all the way in here, not from the other side of your wall. You’d be safe here. Here in the quiet.

It was safe in the quiet. 

Sirius felt disgraceful at how long it took him to notice the signs of you pulling away from the conversation. Away from them. Away from him.

Remus – always more sensitive than the two of you when it came to the likes of money, combined with feeling extra flustered with the upcoming full moon – had no reason to expect nor recognize signs of occlusion. 

Suddenly, Sirius was fourteen again. Walburga was standing over him with her wand aimed at his chest, but all he could see was Regulus. He had prayed at the time that his brother could hear him begging in his mind:

Turn it off, Reg. Just turn it off. It can’t hurt you if you turn it off. 

Sirius himself sat in an almost constant state of occlusion during his fifth year, knowing somewhere deep in his gut that the beginning of the end of his life as the heir of the Ancient and Most Noble House of Black (or the end of his life in general) was near. 

Growing up wasn’t a whole lot easier for you, it seemed. And he knew that when things got to be too much, you did what you needed to do to protect yourself.

He suddenly hated himself. You weren’t supposed to need to protect yourself from him and Remus. It was their job to protect you; just like you always protected them. 

How you protected Remus from wasting away on the days leading up to and recovering from the full moon. You never let him go hungry or thirsty, you always made sure the space was clean and tidy, and you never let him fall into his typical pre- and post-moon self-loathing.

And you protected Sirius from himself; from saying things that he wouldn’t be able to take back, from being the worst version of himself, from losing you and Remus completely. 

He didn’t deserve you.

You didn’t deserve this.

For fuck’s sake all you had been doing was being kind.

Being a good friend, someone that others could rely on, protecting people who meant so much to you. 

All you were doing was being your kind, courteous, protective, generous self that Remus and Sirius had fallen in love with from the very start.

“Moony!” Sirius pleaded, causing the lycanthrope to pause in his tangent. You didn’t even flinch at the sudden change in the atmosphere as Remus looked at Sirius bewilderedly. 

“We’ve lost her.” Sirius murmured quietly, causing Remus to spin to observe you. 

“Well...” Remus began, still struggling to shake off his anger and the need to argue. “But I-”

“It’s enough, Remus.” Sirius hissed quietly, staring at Remus with a look he hoped conveyed no nonsense.

He apparently succeeded as Remus let out whatever breath he’d been holding as he turned again to face you.

“Dove, I’m sorry.” Remus whispered as he tried to move towards you, but you instinctively took a step back to maintain the distance between you; your arms wrapped around your middle protectively as if that was all that was holding you together. 

Sirius’ heart felt like it split in two – and based off of the look on Remus’ face, he wasn’t fairing any better.

“Y/N?” Sirius tried. You didn’t turn to look at him, but you hummed in quasi-acknowledgement.

“Can you look at me?” He tried quietly, but you shook your head no. 

Remus made a pained sound as he tried to move towards you again, ducking his head down in an attempt to make eye contact with you. You didn’t back away from him this time, but your arms tightened in their hold around your middle.

“Sweetheart, I’m sorry I...I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that. I’m...I was out of line.”

“Come back?” Sirius pleaded. “Please.”

You took a deep breath and turned your face towards your boyfriends, but Sirius could tell your eyes were still foggy – you were still hiding.

“We won’t talk about it anymore. That conversation is done.” Sirius said.

“But-” you started, voice grating from the tightness in your throat, but he cut you off.

“The conversation is done. You did what you thought was right, you were being your kind lovely self, helping your friend when they needed you. We shouldn’t have yelled at you, sweets. I’m sorry.”

Remus made another pained sound and moved closer to you again.

“Dovey, I’m so sorry. Please, can I- would you like a hug?”

Sirius watched as you looked at Remus, seeming to weigh your options before you nodded once at him. Remus needn’t any more invitation and quickly (though gently) made for you, enveloping you in his arms. 

The three of you stayed like that – Remus with his arms around you, you with your arms around yourself and your face pushed into his chest, and Sirius standing helplessly at the side – before Sirius started to notice some tension leaving your shoulders.

“Why’d you go?” He asked you quietly, gently placing a hand in the middle of your shoulder blades and rubbing in a way he hoped was soothing.

“I didn’t want to cry.” You admitted into Remus’ chest, neither boy missing how tight your voice seemed to be, even as your voice barely raised above a whisper. 

“Oh, dolly. Just cry. Cry, okay? Make us feel like tossers, but don’t leave.” Sirius said.

“I didn’t want you to feel bad.” You muttered wetly, finally turning so Sirius could see your red and wet face. 

“But we deserved it. Oh, my love.” Remus cooed as he all but picked you up and locked your legs around his hips, forcing you to move your grip from around yourself to around him.

“I’m not s’posed to make you cry. I’m s’posed to make you smile.” He muttered pitifully, pressing his lips into your hair.

“And cum.” Sirius spoke in the same pitiful tone, brushing a strand of hair from your forehead.

You laughed wetly and the last of your occlusion appeared to slip away which was what Sirius had been aiming for. It didn’t make him feel all that much better though.

“Oh, my girl. I’m so sorry, Pads is right. You were just being your lovely self, and I’m a bastard.”

Sirius watched as your brows furrowed. “You’re not a bastard.”

“No,” Sirius agreed readily, “he was just being a bastard. Both of us were. Do you think you can forgive us?”

You nodded quickly but Remus tsked in response.

“Don’t let us off so easily, dovey. Make us pay for it. What do you need? Do you need a foot rub? You want cake? Ice cream? What about a kitten? You’ve always wanted a kitten.”

You had been shaking your head at everything Remus said until the last one, your curiosity obviously piqued.

Fuckin’ hells, Sirius thought, if she gets a kitten everytime one of us acts like an arse, we’re going to be overrun with cats by next month. 

[suffersinfandom]

I was never in danger of liking Izzy -- I'd figured he was abusive as early as S1E4 -- but he didn't really bother me until I started poking around the fandom in June and July of 2022.

I was floored when I learned that people love Izzy and think he's in the right. Izzy doesn't just remind me of abusive people I've known; things that he says and does are things that others have said and done to me. It's possible to make a list of Abusive Things Izzy Does. But here were these people who adored Izzy and insisted that he was the victim to Ed's out of control, angry monster.

It took me until October of 2023 to actually engage with the fandom because I didn't think it would be a safe place for me. Izzy is whatever -- that's a fake guy and I'm not taking a fake guy's actions personally -- but I was afraid of the people who love him. If Izzy is abusive in the same way that my abusers were, how can I be around people who think that kind of behavior is okay? Justified, even? And then you had the claims of abuse that Izzy fans were making against other fans -- abuse that I never saw, not even when I was looking at every post in the OFMD tag before I'd bothered blocking anyone. I was afraid that anything I said about Izzy, no matter how mild or based in canon, would get me labeled as an abuser.

So I didn't say anything for over a year. I regret missing out on so much just because I was afraid, and I do wonder how things would've shaken out if the whole Izzy subfandom hadn't happened.

Maybe I'd like Izzy. I didn't like the guy in S1, but his final confession to Ed made me warm up to the canon character a bit. It was abuse victim wish fulfillment; I loved it. I would've been over the moon after the last episode of S2 dropped if I hadn't been so worried about the backlash from some Izzy fans.

You know, I really wonder what my thoughts would be on Izzy if there wasn’t an entire subset of the fandom that was deluded that he’s actually the main character and is the victim in this entire thing, because you know what? My first couple watchthroughs I didn’t really care about him. I didn’t like him. But I was just kind of like “hey that’s an interesting character and he sucks and I wonder where they’re gonna go with him next season” and that was about it.

And then I learned about them and saw the kinds of takes they had on Ed and Izzy’s relationship and the gross take that Ed is abusive when we only ever see Ed responding to what other people, izzy included, do to him, not instigating and trying to hurt people.

And it wasn’t until then that I started to actually hate him, and the way people were making allowances for his behavior, behavior that is the same as behavior shown by the Badmintons and Stede’s father toward Stede, and the way the story was being twisted to make the poc the bad guy, when Izzy is very clearly an antagonist in s1.

I had even read the occasional steddyhands, if it was by an author I liked. And now I don’t want him anywhere near my boys. Not unless there’s some kind of textual acknowledgement of all the shit he pulled (and sorry, but even the deathbed apology in canon just wasn’t enough for me, though at least it was something).

But I just wonder, what would I think about him if I hadn’t seen people talking like Izzy was a victim and thought “well now that doesn’t seem right”. Cause I can tell you for sure that before all this, I didn’t give two shits about him either way and I hate that now I have to overcompensate for the apologists because of takes like that. like i get liking a villain. i actually fucking love Ricky and wish we had gotten more of him in s2. the difference is that I'm not over here talking about how poor Ricky was abandoned and lost his nose and his plan to destroy all pirates was swindled and how sad that is and how depressing that stede was a bitch to him. I'm just over here enjoying that he sucks and that i hope he gets what he deserves in s3 (because I'm fully deluded that s3 is still coming).