#not just carlos but everyone else had moments this season that just showed us so much more of them
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I've had some time to collect my thoughts after a couple of days so here they are even though nobody asked.
I really loved the finale. It was devestating, no doubt, but I think this is their best one yet and I absolutely loved how they handled it. There was so much grieving in this episode, not just from Carlos, but from Owen and Judd as well. But despite everything they chose happiness and the wedding ending up being beautiful and bittersweet and joyful all at once.
There has been the question of deleted scenes but there's really only one we've seen so far that I would have loved to see in the episode. Other than that, I'm just glad we get to have them all as extras. I don't think the wedding needed them though.
Another thing I'd like to add is that yes, sometimes storylines can feel rushed in shows where you have a lot of characters and especially if there are clear favorites within a fandom. There was a lot going on, but that doesn't necessarily mean any one character's storyline is less valuable than another's. I guess I'm speaking as less of a fandom member and just more as an enjoyer of the show if that makes any sense. I love all of the characters in this show, and while I would be lying if I said I liked every single storyline, that doesn't mean I wish they didn't happen. In this case, however, I loved all of the storylines and I think they all made sense together given the theme of this episode. I personally don't think any of them shouldn't have been there in favor of getting more wedding content.
Honestly, my only regret is not getting off of tumblr as soon as the final bts stuff started coming out. I'm pretty bad when it comes to guessing things so if I hadn't been aware of the theories I literally would have had no idea and it would have hit me so much harder. It still got me pretty good though.
Again these are just my opinions so feel free to ignore everything I say if you didn't feel the same. I'm happy though, and I'm going to continue being incredibly annoying about this show. ♡
#I'll just touch on this in the tags cayse more people have put this a lot more eloquently than I could#but in terms of the decision to kill of gabriel I know a lot of people feared two things#1) it was too close to the wedding 2) potential future storylines would take a hit#and if it had happened any other way I would have agreed with the second one#but the fact that we got that scene between him and carlos was really important#and they way it happened really opens the door for revisting this in the future#I would honestly be really surprised if they don't come back to this mystery because there's a lot of potential there#and speaking of potential I think we reallly started to see so much more of carlos and a side of his character that we've never seen before#him dealing with his grief and in the end chosing to allow himself to have his wedding#that moment between him and owen#I loved all of it and I know in shows like this it can feel like characters start to get stagnant but this is definitely not the case here#not just carlos but everyone else had moments this season that just showed us so much more of them#and it makes me excited for their character development and what future storylines will hold#anyway I think those are all of my thoughts#if you're going to say anything please be nice I don't really do well with negativity#I usually stay out of fandoms for actively airing shows because discourse isn't great for my mental health#but since y'all are like 90% lost shameless mutuals and 10% bots I feel safe enough to share my opinions publicly lmao#har rambles#911 lone star#weewoo rambles
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Ruins - CS55
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warnings: 18+! minors dni! smut, fluff, teasing, car sex, unprotected sex (wrap before you tap)
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Mallorca was a place that unless you had been there to see it with your own eyes, you wouldn’t believe such a place could be real.
Yet here you were, laughing along with your boyfriends family, glass of wine in one hand and his hand in the other, enjoying the beautiful weather at his family’s holiday home on the beautiful island.
Looking beside you, you couldn’t help the genuine smile planted peacefully on your face as Carlos joked around with his cousins, looking carefree amongst the people who made him the happiest in this world, which for the past few years has included you.
“So how are you enjoying mallorca so far?” His mother asks from across the table, bringing your attention back to the conversation amongst the women.
“I have never seen a place more beautiful, it’s like you take a breath in and you’re instantly at peace” you respond with a smile, feeling Carlos squeeze your hand to remind you he’s still there.
“We’re so glad you were able to make it this time, Carlos was so insufferable last holidays, always sulking about how much he misses you” his younger sibling Ana teases from the end of the table, earning a grape thrown at her by the embarrassed man to your right.
“I wasn't sulking!” he argues back with a pout.
“cabron, you spent more time pouting at her social medias than actually having a conversation with us” his best friend Roberto shot back from his other side, earning him a sharp elbow to the side.
“aww, obsessed much? i might have to tell my boyfriend i have a stalker” you jokingly teased, making his family burst out laughing around the table.
The Sainz family had been nothing but warm and welcoming since the first time you had met them, instantly accepting you into the family and making you comfortable.
Not having such a close relationship with your own family, this had meant the world to you that without a second thought they had welcomed you into theirs with open arms, Ana and Blanca instantly swapping secrets and clothes with you, Reyes showing you how to cook Carlos’ favorite meals for every mood, Carlos Sr teaching you everything motorsports related he could (excited when he learnt you were already a fan of it before and eager to learn the ins and outs of the industry), Caco making sure you were always safe on race weekends and taken as care of as Carlos was by the team, and even Teto who became a like an older brother figure to you (bullying included.)
You felt safe, you felt home, and you could never love anyone more than the man beside you.
The only downside you had found to this beautiful family trip, was the lack of alone time you and Carlos had been granted.
It had been a bit of a rough season so far, with his contract with Ferrari being announced to be ending at the end of the season, meaning while he was having an extremely impressive year on track, he spent every other moment off track in talks with other teams for a contract for the next season.
Luckily, he was in high demand so there was no issue with obtaining one, it was just about choosing who would be the best fit for him, and it had to be decided by the end of this summer holiday.
All you wanted was a little alone time, starting to grow needy by the day and constantly reminded by the teasing touches your boyfriend would leave you with, like right now as he ran his fingers along your thigh under the table.
It was frustrating, any time something was about to happen between the two of you, someone would pop up.
Like this morning, a heavy make out session brought on by his morning wood poking into your back when you woke up? Interrupted by his mother knocking on the bedroom door letting you know breakfast would be ready in 5 minutes.
Last night in the pool, thinking everyone else had well and truly gone to bed? Roberto cannonballing into the pool after noticing you two were still up to annoy.
You loved them all, and you couldn’t be more grateful, but you were getting needy and desperate for your boyfriend.
”Caro, are you feeling okay? you zoned out on us…” Reyes asks with concern, nodding for Ana beside you to top up your water for you.
“Oh i’m so sorry, must have just had a little too much wine before properly eating, i’m okay!” you assure her, gulping as Carlos’ hand trails further up your thigh.
She just nods with a smile before resuming conversation around the table
“Carlos behave, we are at lunch with your family.” you hiss quietly at him, leaning over to him so no one else could hear the conversation you two were having.
“but conejita, i can’t stop thinking about this morning, you looked so pretty all flushed just from a few kisses, so desperate for me” he responded, his breath tickling your neck and making you almost choke on the sip of wine you were taking.
“Please excuse me, i just need to go make a quick call home before it gets too late over there” you quickly stood up and made an excuse to step away for a second, unable to endure Carlos right now.
Stepping into the kitchen once inside, you braced yourself against the marble countertop and focused on calming yourself down again.
You could feel your skin burning from his touch and the wetness pooling in your panties from all the teasing he was doing, torturing you endlessly.
So focused on trying to regain your composure, you hadn't noticed Carlos come in behind you until he was winding his arms around your waist and pulling you against his chest, making sure you felt just how much he was also suffering with his jeans feeling especially tight against his crotch right now.
“Amor, are you okay? you look a little flushed” he smirks as he kisses down your neck.
“are you okay” you respond in a mocking tone, “of course i’m not okay Carlos, you can’t keep your hands to yourself and we haven’t had a moment alone in a week now!”
“aww, is my pretty baby getting needy?” he teases in response, hands starting to wander down to the hem of the short sundress you had opted to wear today.
You turned around quickly, placing your hands on his chest and pushing him away lightly to stop his torment.
“don’t act like it’s just me struggling, your zip looks like it might burst any minute now, might want to go take care of that mi amor” Placing a light kiss on his lips before returning to the group outside before he could react.
“So do you guys have anything planned for the rest of the evening?” Blanca asks as you settle back into the group, Carlos following right behind you.
“I was thinking about taking her down to the ruins for the sunset and a beach walk” Carlos responds quickly, grabbing your hand on top of the table as you tilt your head in confusion at him.
“Oh that sounds wonderful hijo, i’m sure she’s going to love that!” Reyes smiles at you both
“the ruins? there’s ruins here?” you ask excitedly, being a known nerd for that sort of thing.
“si, Necropolis de Son Real, it´s an old cemetery from the roman era and before” he smiles as he squeezes your hand, seeing your eyes light up in excitement.
Suddenly you hear an exaggerated sigh from beside carlos, before Teto speaks up
“So you're both abandoning me for the evening to look at nerd shit? Why do you hate me?” sending the table into a fit of laughter as he fake cried.
An hour later, you and Carlos were loading into his Ferrari to head down to the coastal ruins.
A 30 minute drive, but it was uninterrupted time together that you were looking forward to just spending in the presence of your boyfriend.
The smooth Ferrari 812 Competizione roaring to life under you, Carlos gives you a sweet smile as you set off, letting you have control of the radio as per your usual passenger princess duties.
Carlos couldn’t help but look at you lovingly while you sang along to “i like the way you kiss me” by Artemas, dancing in the little ways you could while remaining seated.
“i like the way you kiss me, i can tell you miss me
i can tell it hits, hits, hits, hits
not tryna be romantic, i’ll hit it from the back
just so you don’t get attached”
“mi amor, hitting it from the back is what got me attached, have you seen your ass?” he smirks as you swat his arm.
“i should have known you were just with me for my ass” you sigh.
“of course not conejita” he says as he squeezes your thigh before laughing, “you have a nice set of tits too”
Reaching the Santa Margalida coast, you were stunned by the beautiful coastline that awaited you. Getting to the ruins was going to be a bit of a walk but you were too excited to care.
Carlos watched in awe as you skipped up the trail, hair flowing behind you as a breeze moved your dress around your legs, he couldn’t believe he had been so lucky to find someone so beautiful and supportive, someone his family adored, someone he couldn’t wait to spend forever with.
“Carlitos look! look at the cool tomb remains” you exclaim as you finally reach the site
“thankyou so much for bringing me here, i love it so much, this is the coolest thing ever!”
”Mi cariño, i would do anything to make you as happy as you make me by just existing” he responds as he wraps you in his arms and places a kiss to your hair
You spent the next hour exploring around and taking pictures of the site, as Carlos secretly took pictures of you in your element.
Once you had explored it all, he held his hand out for you to take as you started the long trek back to the car.
“so, what has been your favorite thing about this trip so far?” he asks genuinely as you walk down the coastal beach.
“hmmm i’d love to say it was definitely the ruins, but my real favorite thing has been spending time with you and your family. Seeing how happy and carefree you are, i couldn’t love it more” you smile back.
“even though we’ve had no time alone until now?” he says as he pulls you in to wrap his arm around your shoulder.
“don’t get me wrong, i can’t wait to have you to myself in our apartment again” you laugh in response.
As you’re about 10 minutes away from the car, a summer shower starts as the sun goes down, making you and Carlos laugh as you run the rest of the way back to the car hand in hand, clothes sticking to you both the wetter they got.
Jumping back into the car, you couldn’t stop laughing about the unexpected turn of events as Carlos just admired the carefree attitude you showed towards it.
His exes before you would have cursed him out, probably blamed him for the weather shift or at the very least for not warning them (like he knew it was going to happen).
It would have led to fights that lasted days, him eventuality having to be the one to apologize even though he had done nothing wrong.
But you? you were sat in the passenger seat, laughing as you tried to unstick your dress from your skin, not phased at all that it had happened.
Without a second thought, Carlos reached over and grabbed your face, smashing his lips to yours like he needed the air in your lungs to breathe.
As you both pulled away for air, you gave him a confused look.
“not that i'm complaining, but what was that for? are you okay” you ask.
“i couldn’t be happier, just looking at you makes me realize how lucky i am to have you, i really do love you” he answers sincerely.
You smile and bring him into another kiss, enjoying this peaceful moment shared by just the two of you.
The sun having now set, no one around, just you and your lover.
The peace doesn’t last long though, as Carlos is getting hungrier for you as the kisses deepen.
Before long, he’s moving his seat back as far as it will go and pulling you over the center and onto his lap, making you straddle his thighs as one of his hands grips your waist and the other is tangled in your hair, holding you against him.
You can’t help but whimper as you grind down on his hard cock, the tight material of his jeans not making it easy for him and you could feel it all in the lace panties you wore that barely covered anything as is.
“the sounds coming out of you right now conejita are enough to make me cum at this point if you’re not careful, you’ve left me suffering too many times this week” Carlos groans into your ear before kissing down your neck.
“it hasn’t been any easier for me you know, i can’t do the same things you can when i’ve been in the shower” you tease back, grinding down harder onto him as he hisses.
“you’ve been greedy mi amor? touching yourself without me in the shower?” he growls, almost animalistic.
“don’t act like you haven’t done the same” you smirk back.
Carlos' hand that was tangled in your hair slowly trails down your figure, running lightly over your collarbones and nipples, before settling on your thigh.
He rubs his thumb on your inner thigh, slowly lifting the hem of your dress up your thighs until he can get a peak of your panties.
Seeing the barely-there black lace, he throws his head back and groans at the sight, feeling his dick twitch in his jeans.
“Were you trying to kill me today? what is this?” he asks as he brushes his thumb over your clit through the lace, making you whimper in response as he feels just how wet they are.
“Joder, eres tan guapa” he groans as he leans back a little to look, moving the lace to the side as he runs his thumb over the sensitive bud again.
“Carlos please, i-“
“i know pretty girl, i’ll give you what you need in a second, just let me admire” he drools, slipping his fingers through your folds at a teasing pace.
Without warning, he slips two fingers in to stretch you out for what's to come, making you almost scream in pleasure at the feeling.
“what a good girl, taking two so well for me, think you can ride my fingers pretty girl?” he whispers in your ear, biting and sucking at the skin of your neck, openly leaving marks his family will undoubtedly ask about later.
As you rock back and forth on his lap, his fingers curling inside you to hit the right spots as his thumb continues work on your clit, your nails are digging into his shoulders as you try to focus on keeping your pace.
With all the pent up tension from the past week, it doesn’t take long for you to feel your first orgasm approaching.
Carlos feels it too, knowing the all too familiar clench of your walls around his fingers, he’s desperate to bring you over the edge, using the hand on your hip to increase your pace as his fingers work you harder from the inside.
Your hand flies to the now fogged up window, leaving a hand mark on it as you scream his name and cum around his fingers, your hips stuttering in movement as you become overly sensitive.
He draws his fingers out once he knows you're done, looking you dead in the eye as he places them in his mouth and sucks them clean, making your pussy clench at the sight.
You decide to tease him back as he pulls them out, grabbing his hand and putting his fingers in your own mouth before sucking and twirling your tongue around them, making him growl.
He wastes no time in lifting you just enough to free himself from his jeans and boxers, before lining himself up with your entrance.
“do you think you have another one in you, mi tesoro?” he asks, slapping his tip against your clit and making you whimper as you nod, unable to speak actual words right now.
“good girl, that’s my pretty angel” he praises as he lowers you onto his cock, stretching you out even more at his size.
It didn’t matter how many times you’d done this, you’d never be used to his size.
It made sense that he was as big and thick as he was, the man himself being broad and muscular, but you could never truly expect JUST how big he was down there.
The first time you’d slept together, you’d been sure he was going to break you in half.
His hand had not been anywhere near enough over the last week, once he had had a taste of you he could never go back to anything or anyone else, the only way Carlos could describe how you felt around him is “made by god specifically for him” and he made sure it was known.
“fuck amorcita, you take me so well” he groans, his grip on your hip bruising as he settles you into a pace that drives you both absolutely wild.
“Carlos i’m not going to last” you moan, already starting to see the little white dots in your vision again.
“that’s okay princesa, either am i after the week without feeling you, but when we get back to madrid you better be prepared for an entire day of being used” he growls as he fucks up into you, making you yelp at the further sensation.
A few minutes later and you couldn’t hold on any longer, begging for him to let you finish.
“Carlos please, please, i can't hold on any longer can i please cum” you beg, tears lining your eyes as you crumble.
“let go amorcita, cum with me” he groans as he bruises your cervix from the final few thrusts he fucks up into you, feeling you squeezing his cock like a vice.
With his words, you’re screaming out his name over and over, leaving more handprints on the glass as his hand joins yours and squeezes, rain still falling around the car as it’s cloaked in complete darkness now the sun has fully set.
Carlos feels you let go and does the same, filling you completely to the point you can feel it coming out as he slowly thrusts a few more times, getting you both through your highs.
Finally lifting your head off his shoulder from where you rested while regaining your breath and balance, you give him a few light kisses before trying to slide off of his dick without making too much of a mess, unsuccessfully.
He quickly places your panties back into place over your pussy, making sure to give it a light tap for good measure as he chuckles.
All you can do is roll your eyes as you readjust your dress again, before climbing back over to your seat and getting comfortable for the long drive back.
“Well that will tide me over for about… 5 hours i think?” Carlos jokes as he starts the car up and pulls out of the parking lot.
“Try 7 days my love, we still have another week here” you remind him sweetly, a hint of teasing in your voice.
“Nope, i don’t care if my family hears anymore, i’m not going that long without you again” he states, kissing your hand before an evil smile places itself over his face.
“Besides, once Teto gets sight of the bruises i’ve left on your skin, there’s no way we’re hiding what happened today anyway.”
#f1 fic#f1 fics#f1 fluff#f1 oneshot#f1 smut#formula 1 fic#formula 1 fics#formula 1 fluff#formula 1 smut#carlos sainz smut#carlos sainz jr smut#carlos sainz#carlos sainz jr#carlos sainz x you#carlos sainz x reader#carlos sainz fic#carlos sainz fluff#carlos sainz one shot#carlos sainz oneshot#carlos sainz imagine#f1 driver x you#f1 driver x reader#formula 1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 one shot#lalunalando
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Azerbajian GP Weekend
Masterlist
Thursday had arrived, and so had the media frenzy. It was the traditional pre-race press day, and the interview room was buzzing with journalists and cameras ready to capture every word and reaction. I was scheduled for a multi-driver interview, paired with Franco, Carlos, Max, and Oscar—a mix of veterans and rookies, all bringing their own energy to the room. I was feeling confident, prepared to answer whatever questions were thrown my way, until I noticed a few familiar faces among the journalists—faces I remembered from whispers in the paddock.
After a few light-hearted questions aimed at Carlos and Max, the interview shifted gears when a well-known journalist turned to me with a sharp look in his eyes.
“So, Y/N,” he began, voice dripping with a tone that already felt accusatory, “there’s been a lot of talk about your rapid rise to F1, especially after missing significant time in F2. Some might say that… connections or publicity stunts might be part of the story here rather than pure skill.” He leaned back, a smug smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “What do you say to people who think you’re here for PR reasons, rather than merit?”
My stomach clenched, but I kept my face calm. This was it—the subtle way they were calling me out, questioning if I was here because of talent or if I was just a “diversity hire” in a sport still catching up with the times. I could feel the tension in the room rise as Carlos and Max glanced at me, both of them experienced enough to know what it was like to be grilled by the press.
I took a deep breath, feeling Franco’s reassuring presence beside me. He shot me a quick nod, like he was silently encouraging me to respond.
“Well,” I began, keeping my voice calm and steady, “I think every driver here has something to prove. Racing is about results, and I’m fully prepared to show what I’m capable of on the track. I know there’s a lot of speculation, and it’s natural—every driver faces it at some point. I’m here because I’ve earned this seat. And I’ll keep proving that every weekend.”
The journalist wasn’t done. He leaned forward, raising an eyebrow. “Still, disappearing for months mid-season in F2 and then suddenly being ready to jump into F1… it does raise some eyebrows. Care to elaborate on where you were?”
My heart raced. Memories flooded in—of the sleepless nights by my mother’s side, of the last few precious moments we shared. I felt the urge to defend myself, to tell the whole story right there, but I knew better. I took another breath, holding my smile steady.
“As my former team and I have always said, I was undergoing extensive training to prepare for the reserve role I’d committed to with Aston Martin. My team has full confidence in me, and that’s all the focus I’m giving it,” I replied, keeping my tone professional. I felt proud of my answer, but I could tell the journalist was disappointed by my restraint.
Max jumped in, breaking the tension with his classic cool-headedness. “You know, there are always rumors about all of us. It’s all just noise until we’re on track, isn’t it?”
The journalist backed off slightly, though I could tell he wasn’t convinced. Franco shot me a supportive look, mouthing a quick “Nice one” as the attention moved to another driver. I took a deep breath, reminding myself to stay composed. My mother’s voice echoed in my mind, reminding me of all the reasons I was here.
After the interview wrapped up, Franco walked over and gave my shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “Forget him. That was out of line. You handled it well.”
“Thanks,” I replied, my voice a bit shaky. “I just didn’t expect that to hit so hard, you know?”
He nodded, his eyes kind. “I know. But you showed them that you belong here. Keep doing that, and everyone else will see it too.”
As we left the interview room, Franco nudged me, a curious look in his eyes. "Did you notice how quickly Max jumped in? It’s like he was standing up for you."
I shrugged, glancing back at the room we’d just left. "I don’t know if it was for me specifically," I replied. "Max just seems to hate when journalists get too personal. He probably saw the question as crossing a line. He’s always been a no-nonsense guy."
Franco didn’t seem convinced. "Maybe, but... he didn’t have to say anything at all. A lot of other drivers wouldn’t." He paused, as if carefully choosing his next words. "Look, I’ve been around these drivers a while now, and I know how they talk. I think Max might be one of the few drivers who’s actually looking at what you do on track, not paying attention to those rumors.”
I hesitated, not sure how to process that. “Maybe,” I conceded. “But why would he? He doesn’t know me.”
“Maybe he’s seen the work you’re putting in,” Franco said thoughtfully. “He knows what it’s like to face doubt—he started young too. Besides,” he added, “Max respects hard work. He wouldn’t have stood up for you if he didn’t think you’ve earned your place.”
I wanted to believe Franco, but I couldn’t help being skeptical. “You might be giving him too much credit,” I said. “Honestly, I still think it was more about hating the question than defending me.”
Franco laughed. “Maybe you’re right. Max isn’t exactly Mr. Empathy. But I think he respects that you’ve been keeping your head down and just focusing on racing. People who’ve been on the grid longer can spot real talent, and he wouldn’t bother standing up for you if he didn’t see something there.”
I looked down, smiling to myself. The thought that Max might see past all the gossip and actually believe in my abilities was… a little surreal. But if Franco was right, it meant something. "You know," I said quietly, "maybe that’s enough for now. If I can prove myself to someone like Max, maybe that’s all I need to do for the rest to start paying attention."
Franco nodded. “Exactly. Let them talk. Just keep showing up on track and doing what you do best. You’re already turning heads, whether they admit it or not.”
We walked on in comfortable silence after that, both of us aware that this race weekend would be another chance. Another shot to show everyone—including myself—that I had a place here, no matter who questioned it.
We parted ways minutes later, Franco being asked to return to his garage for a filming session between him and Alex. I decided to walk around the paddock a bit more —given that most if not every interviewer was in the interview room right now— I had a chance to relax by myself with a nice little undisrupted wandering walk. It didn’t last long however before I was seemingly cornered by the same man who had stood up for me before. Max Verstappen had spotted me from across the paddock and beelined his way right towards me.
I froze for a moment, a bit caught off guard. Max was one of the last people I expected to seek me out, especially after that brief encounter in the interview room. He was known for being straightforward, but also for keeping to himself, so seeing him walk toward me like this felt... unexpected.
As he approached, I straightened up, unsure of what to say. Max had that usual intense focus in his eyes, but his expression didn’t seem as cold as it often did. He came to a stop in front of me, his hands tucked in his jacket pockets.
“Hey,” he said, his tone casual but direct. "How are you holding up?"
I blinked, momentarily surprised by the question. "I’m good," I replied quickly, forcing a small smile. “Why do you ask?”
Max looked around the paddock, as if checking to make sure no one else was nearby. When he turned back to me, he spoke a little lower. “Just wanted to make sure you’re not letting the stuff they’re saying get to you.”
I raised an eyebrow. “What stuff?”
He shrugged, his expression softening a little. “The gossip. The rumors. People are always going to talk, especially when there’s something new, or something they don’t understand.” He paused for a second, looking at me seriously. “But you’ve been doing well. I can see it.”
I wasn’t sure how to respond to that. It was... unexpected, to say the least. Max wasn’t exactly the type to give out compliments, let alone stand up for someone in public, especially someone like me. The fact that he was acknowledging it so openly made me second-guess a lot of my assumptions about him.
"Thanks," I said, my voice more tentative than I intended. "I appreciate it."
Max nodded. "I know how it feels to be judged before you even get the chance to show what you can do. It’s not easy." He paused again, and then, almost like an afterthought, added, "If you need someone to talk to or whatever, don’t hesitate."
I was caught off guard once more. Max Verstappen, offering to talk?
"Uh, thanks," I replied, this time more confidently. "I think I’ll be alright, but it’s good to know."
He gave me a small nod, a glimmer of respect in his eyes. “Good. Keep your head up, alright? They’ll respect you, eventually. Just keep showing up.”
With that, he turned and walked off, leaving me standing there a little dumbfounded. The last thing I expected was for Max Verstappen to go out of his way to check on me, but now I was left wondering if there was more to him than just the hard-as-nails racer everyone saw on TV. Maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t as bad as the rumors made him out to be either.
BIG TIME SKIP
After Qualifying, I couldn’t help but smile—P10! I’d made it into the top 10, just behind Franco who had secured P9. We were both on cloud nine and decided to grab dinner together to celebrate. We were walking out of the paddock, laughing and joking, when I suddenly heard someone shout Franco’s name.
“Franco! Where are you going?” Lando’s voice rang out across the busy paddock.
Both Franco and I turned, surprised. We saw Lando and Oscar jogging toward us, the latter giving me a fleeting glance. Lando, on the other hand, didn’t spare me a single glance. His eyes were locked on Franco, his tone sharp.
Franco, clearly still riding the high of a great qualifying result, gave him a friendly wave. “Hey, just heading out to grab some dinner. Want to join us?”
Oscar’s eyes lingered on me for a brief moment, and I could swear I saw something akin to pity flicker across his face, but it disappeared so quickly that I couldn’t be sure. Lando, however, didn’t acknowledge me at all, his gaze still glued to Franco.
“I’m good,” Lando replied curtly, his tone flat. “We’ll catch up later. But I’ve heard... you two are quite the topic today.”
Franco shot me a quick glance, clearly uncomfortable, but said nothing as Lando’s words hung in the air. I could feel his eyes shift between me and Franco, clearly sizing up the situation. The tension was palpable, and I knew exactly what he was referring to. The rumors.
“So, uh, what’s it like?” Lando continued, his voice now almost too casual, his gaze flicking over to me. “Being the new face around here, with all the... stories going around?”
Oscar, standing silently at Lando’s side, seemed content to watch the exchange, though his eyes flicked to me, then back to Lando. I could tell he wasn’t quite sure where this conversation was headed.
I wasn’t sure if Lando was looking for confirmation or if he was trying to provoke a reaction, but either way, I wasn’t going to let him get away with it. The judgment in his tone wasn’t subtle, and I wasn’t about to let it slide.
“Stories?” I repeated, raising an eyebrow as I turned toward him. “What kind of stories?”
Lando shifted uncomfortably, clearly caught off guard by my question, but he quickly recovered. “You know,” he said with a shrug, trying to sound nonchalant. “The whole... why you suddenly disappeared from F2, then came in and replaced Stroll and all that. Guess people are curious and there are a lot of people willing to tell their stories to fill that gap in.”
Oscar’s eyes darted between us, a slight frown tugging at his lips, but he said nothing. I could see the judgment in Lando’s face now, and I couldn’t ignore it any longer.
“I’m not here to entertain gossip,” I replied, my voice steady but firm. “I don’t know where these ‘stories’ came from, but you’re feeding into them just like everyone else. How about you let me speak for myself? Maybe then you’ll get the real story.”
Franco opened his mouth to speak, likely trying to defuse the situation, but I held up a hand to stop him. I wasn’t going to let Lando get away with it.
“If you really think that just because of my background in this sport, you’re going to judge me on rumors instead of what I can do on track,” I said, my tone cutting through the air, “then maybe you should reconsider how much you actually know from sources that don’t include bias perspectives.”
Lando’s face twitched, and for a moment, I could see the flicker of realization in his eyes. He wasn’t used to being called out so directly. But he wasn’t backing down either.
“Look, I didn’t mean—” he started, but I cut him off sharply, my tone colder than before.
“No, you didn’t mean it,” I snapped, my eyes narrowing. “But you’re still doing it. So maybe before you speak about things you clearly know nothing about, you should think twice. Because I’m not here to be the subject of your gossip.”
The air between us grew tense, and the silence stretched on. Oscar, who had been quietly observing, exchanged a glance with Lando but stayed silent. I could feel the weight of Lando’s eyes on me, but I refused to back down.
“Is that really how it’s going to be?” I asked, my voice hard. “You think you can just judge me based on some rumor mill nonsense without even knowing me? Maybe you should consider that there’s more to me than whatever the hell people want to say about my past. What happens on track is all that should matter. But if you’re still buying into that crap, then maybe you’re not the person I thought you were.”
Lando’s jaw tightened, and I could tell that I had struck a nerve. He didn’t immediately respond, instead glancing at Oscar, who now had a slightly concerned look on his face. Lando shifted on his feet, clearly unsure of how to respond to someone calling him out so forcefully.
“I get it, alright?” Lando muttered, but there was no real sincerity in his voice. “But you’ve got to admit, there’s a lot of speculation.”
I rolled my eyes, the frustration bubbling up inside me. “Speculation is exactly what it is. And it’s none of your business, Lando. What matters is that I’m here, racing, and proving myself every time I get behind the wheel. Maybe if you focused more on that, you’d see it for what it is, instead of judging me based on some stupid rumors.”
I paused for a moment, letting the silence linger between us before I spoke again, my voice sharpening. “And honestly, with all the rumors floating around that you’re a big fan of Trump after some of the things you’ve said in Miami? I’m not surprised you’re so quick to jump on the bandwagon and believe whatever fits the narrative. It’s easier to go along with what the media says, right? But I don’t listen to that stuff. I judge people by their actions, not by what the tabloids want to spin. You don’t know me, Lando, so stop acting like you do.”
I could see him bristle at my words, and for a moment, I could tell that what I said hit harder than he expected. It wasn’t about defending myself anymore—it was about standing up for the idea that I wouldn’t let others define me, especially when they hadn’t bothered to get to know the real me.
Lando’s expression flickered, a mix of frustration and something else—something I couldn’t quite place—passing across his face. For a moment, he was silent, clearly trying to process what I had just said. But I could tell I had made him think, even if just for a brief second.
He didn’t immediately apologize, which told me everything I needed to know. He wasn’t ready to back down yet. But I wasn’t done.
“Just stop hiding behind your assumptions, Lando,” I added, my voice firm. “It’s not a good look. You can’t just brush off people based on things you hear when there’s no real truth to it. It’s lazy, and frankly, it’s disappointing.”
Lando stood there, looking caught off guard by my directness. He wasn’t apologizing, not really. But I could see that I had planted a seed. Maybe it would take a while for him to truly get it, but at least for now, I had made my point. And I wasn’t about to let anyone walk over me—especially not when I knew I was capable of so much more than the rumors said.
“I... didn’t realize it was that big of a deal,” he said, his voice a little quieter now. “I’m just trying to keep up with everything going on around here.” “Well, try harder,” I shot back, my tone biting. “Because if you can’t see past the rumors, you’re just as bad as the rest of them.”
With that, I turned away, my heart still racing with anger. I didn’t want his apology, not really. I wasn’t looking for anyone’s approval. But I wasn’t going to let anyone make me feel small just because they couldn’t look beyond what they heard. I walked away, leaving Lando and Oscar to whatever thoughts they were processing, knowing that I had made myself clear.
Franco, who had been watching from the sidelines, gave me an approving smile as I returned to his side. I didn’t need to look back to know that the tension between Lando and me wasn’t going to disappear anytime soon. But that was fine by me. It was time for me to prove myself on the track, and if Lando and the others had to learn the hard way, so be it.
#x reader#f1 angst#driver!reader#f1#f1 x reader#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 fic#formula 1#max verstappen#charles leclerc#oscar piastri#lando norris#franco colapinto#lewis hamilton#carlos sainz#george russell#grill the grid#f1 grid x reader
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"short and easier to read" babe I am so sorry to you and everyone else for how my insane posts come out - it's why I link to so much stuff bc it is a struggleee for me to not write just run-on sentences ;__; but I do get what you mean and I promise I tried my best - it's def shorter than the og and in smaller bites if that helps ??
(I actually wrote this on someone else's laptop so it's got proper punctuation and capitalization and everything!)
For those who don’t know: Oscar is an acts of service guy Lando is a words of affirmation guy. Let’s remember that someone’s love language is how they choose to express themselves, not what they should demand of others!
Oscar is also very much not a PR guy, for anyone totally oblivious to the obvious (and that all his "greatest hits" in PR were done unintentionally or bc he's awkward or bc his mom is cooler than him). For example, Oscar brings up his girlfriend of 4-5 years a fair amount but it’s almost hilariously not gushy or romantic (having a “cuddle” is as far as it goes lasfgjlsagfl). But he’s said himself that for the most part he’d prefer not to have too much private life available to the public. *His downtime with Lando joins in with all his other social life in being extremely limited to the public.
The “thanking the sponsors” thing is one of Oscar’s safe, approved speeches he pulled from Andrea so that Oscar doesn’t have to do spontaneous on-camera speaking. Sorry but not all of us are good at it and it’s wayyyy easier to just have some rehearsed pre-approved soundbites. He tends to have a few that he repeats for a while until he updates the list lsafjslafhlafh.
He also very openly struggles to do on-camera speaking and no one knows that better than Lando who’s had to help him a huge amount.
It does seem to be mostly cameras that make him stressed bc he was fine thanking Lando for his help in Baku at the fan stage in Singapore and overall he can use more of his dry humor when he's speaking to people rather than just to a camera.
Lando’s recent inclusion of Oscar in his media responses to this degree is a reaction to Hungary and Monza - normally, his post race responses focus on himself and his own performance (which is literally normal and the default for drivers!!). The recent emphasis on teamwork/Oscar is something he feels he needs to do with his own PR work right now. He’s a smart man who’s been doing this a long time, so his reasons are valid no matter what fans think. He’s not sitting there working out or analyzing Oscar’s PR, just his own.
People are absolutely running away with themselves over Monza and ignoring that apart from that one moment, Oscar is widely popularly seen as the supportive teammate role. To the point where last year and even part of this year, Lando was criticized by a lot of fans for not acknowledging Oscar enough.
Going off of that, let’s show how easy it is to take PR and media to make one of them look bad by turning it around onto Lando (!! this is for an example, I do NOT endorse hating on Lando for any of it !!)
Lando openly disliked being referred to as the “older teammate” and kinda left Oscar to his own devices so much last season that Oscar wouldn’t know where he was going a lot of the time and even semi-joked “my teammate’s abandoned me” (again, reminder this was not a source of drama for anyone but fans). He got called a little duckling a lot bc he’d tail Lando closely so as not to lose him. In fact it started irking some people that Lando would spend so much time with Carlos or Daniel and not getting to know his new teammate and helping him out with his rookie season of F1 the way Carlos did for Lando.
In every team photo where Lando has had a podium and Oscar has had nothing (and sometimes due at least in part to team orders!) which is very often! the comments sections have always had plenty of ‘Oscar is such a great team player, always happy and showing up for Lando no matter what’. So the whole ‘Oscar doesn’t do enough for Lando’ narrative is extremely recent and at odds with the rest of reality.
Please read the very first part of my enormous full post bc Lando didn’t thank Oscar for his Miami win, he praised his driving.
Even though at Silverstone this year Lando got on the podium and Oscar didn’t, Oscar made the fan stage all about bringing Lando out of his disappointment and even said he did the shoey “to make us feel better” and then dedicated the top row of his IG that week to photos and videos of him and Lando. Special note that this is in no way Oscar’s home race and he was solely seeing it as emotional for Lando and McLaren - and he had zero reason to personally be very happy after that weekend.
I’ve seen Melbourne this year get mentioned in the team orders discussions on my fyps, so that’s a handy example in many ways: Despite Melbourne being Oscar’s literal hometown race - and Lando even filming some Quadrant stuff at Oscar’s childhood karting track where a corner is named after him* - this year Lando didn’t acknowledge Oscar really at all over the weekend until someone mentioned him at the end of the podium press conference. Lando acknowledged that Oscar following team orders made his (Lando’s) drive a bit easier in Melbourne this year but said that he was faster than Oscar and deserved third over him anyway. (Good contrast to Hungary and even Carlos stating that something an undercut due to pit strategy shouldn’t erase one teammate being faster/more dominant in a race in order to give the other teammate the win!) He did PR work with pretty much everyone except Oscar actually, even doing promo for his (Lando’s) dad’s electric scooters on the new dotmov acc. Kind of like him being on a similar PR campaign at Singapore this year because of a sneak preview of Quadrant rebranding and announcing the Landostand at Silverstone - he went for the biggest PR hits and posted Daniel on his jpg account, did a golf day with Carlos and Max F and was more active on socials than he had been for months. All while only having Oscar in one photo out of the whole weekend’s carousel despite the McLaren double podium. You could even read into him cutting Oscar and Oscar’s trophy out of two of the shots if you wanted! (He did include Oscar in the big group photo after the podium celebrations.)
*I saw some ppl say he didn't include Oscar in the Melbourne karting filming bc McLaren doesn't cross over with Quadrant, which isn't true. Zak has shares in Quadrant and Bianca has been included in the Quadrant rebranding launch with Lando's Singapore helmet design.
See how easy that was to flip it around?? If you’re even slightly biased against a driver or never see flaws in another- or are dying for two teammates to hate each other - then confirmation bias will always find plenty of “evidence”! Because the reality is that after the Austin GP, Lando found his “older teammate” mode and began helping Oscar out with his rookie year. In Melbourne, Lando spent his first day filming for his .mov account including the Oscar jersey and merch he came across - and Oscar mentioned how he and Lando talked about Lando filming at his old track. (Again, not PR coordinated or filmed, just mentioned!) And that after the Singapore race this year, they beamed at each other every other second of that night, filmed a deliriously happy post race video and joked in the cool down room - I honestly doubt have even noticed yet what the other has posted to IG salfhsalfafa. All of the negativity fans are coming up with is their own personal spin and does not resemble how Lando and Oscar are behaving to or speaking about each other.
They base their relationship on their conversations and interactions solely away from the public and the cameras and don’t do any inflammatory commentary about each other. They bragged about the door in the team hub that separates their drivers rooms from everyone else and leaves them open only to each other. Their communications only matter to each other when in private.
Segueing on from that: media and social media are literally PR. Lando is extremely skilled at it now and Oscar is not at all naturally skilled and is still learning. Lando is quick to be able to adapt his media responses, Oscar is not and often sounds stilted and uncomfortable. But it still has nothing to do with how they think of each other and talk to each other personally.
And “Landoscar” has never had the typical PR bromance aspect that we all love in other teammates, and it never will. Lando and Oscar mention but don’t broadcast or package their downtime together and they don’t share their private dynamic with fans or the media apart from the glimpses we see in more relaxed content. It’s just their choice! And just like it doesn’t mean Lando and Oscar are less friends because they don’t PR their relationship, it doesn’t mean the friendships who do utilize PR are less friends!
And tbh that’s a good note to leave on: that seeing two drivers with no PR to gain from openly liking and respecting each other should mean that we as fans place less importance on the PR responses they give to media and put on social media. So many people want them to hate each other (Netflix even begging them outright) and rivalries get far more headlines and fan engagement, that if these two didn’t like each other or even were blah about each other, they wouldn’t waste time trying to fake it (side note ppl actually thought this joke was deadly serious for a short while). F1 isn’t team sports, no one really cares if drivers or teams appear “friendly” unless they’re desperate for money/engagement to keep them afloat (even there, Alpine prove it clearly isn’t a priority to have friendly teammates when you’re lower down the grid!)
There is absolutely nothing to be gained for them in faking the smiles and laughter and twinning. Equally there’s nothing to be gained by us as fans in judging them and their relationship based on their PR responses and PR work. Lando beams and smiles the same at Oscar after all of Oscar’s awkward, stiff debrief speeches and I kind of want one of these crazy stans to say to him that Oscar is a bad team player and doesn’t show Lando enough appreciation just to watch what his adorable face does in response (don’t do that I’m joking).
#inchreplies#(did a screenshot bc I never know what shows up in posted submissions)#landoscar#I pray this is more coherent I'm sorry guys#this is why it takes me forever to write fic#to make my brain work right with words is a monumental task#mostly it's grammar syntax etc but jfc what is going on in my brain#inchidentallyanessay
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What’s wrong with the word “nicked?” You are grasping for straws at things to be mad about.
McLaren felt like Charles nicked the monza win from them.
Lewis probablt felt like George nicked the Brazil ‘22 win from him.
There are so many examples of this.
There’s so many examples of times when drivers and teams have felt like a win/podium/ even points were ‘nicked’ from them due to one reason or another, that’s not uncommon nor is it insulting to say that Charles felt like the win was nicked from under his nose.
Jock Clear doesn’t say this to be insulting towards Carlos, and Charles feeling disappointed or ‘hurt’ is not insulting towards Carlos either, please tell me how you’ve come to this conclusion? The fact is that Charles felt confident coming into the Singapore weekend but he got outperformed by his teammate and lost out on a brilliant opportunity which made him disappointed IN HIMSELF.
It’s then talked about how Charles utilised this disappointment and turned it into something positive —motivation. And from that point onwards, Charles was clearly the better driver of 2023, and even went on to finish ahead of Carlos in all metrics apart from wins that season. This also shows that your understanding of Charles’ mentality is complete bullshit because it’s a positive, confident, and stable mindset that allows you to turn personal negatives into positives and use disappointment as a way to motivate yourself to be better instead of dwelling on it.
This is why I am so baffled as to why you and other sainz fans are so enraged at the concept that Charles could possibly be disappointed in the results of a race that he knows he could have done better at. He knew that it was Carlos’ race to win after qualifying, and he played his part to help make that happen. After the race, he congratulated Carlos and the team, and never said anything negative about it. His driver coach is saying that he was disappointed in himself, which should be obvious, if a driver is not disappointed in themselves after not maximising an opportunity, then they do not belong in the sport.
A good example of this is Monaco this year, Oscar was disappointed in himself because he could have been on pole had he put his 3 best sectors in qualifying into one lap. Not a single Leclerc fan got mad at him for saying this because it’s obvious that he is going to be disappointed in such a situation.
This is so ridiculous because you clearly just hate Charles (which is fine you can like and hate whoever you want to) but you are purposely twisting Jock Clear’s words and making it seem like Charles did nothing wrong.
It’s not uncommon for a driver or team to think that they were close to winning, and thus feeling disappointed that they didn’t achieve that. Saying “nicked” implies the other person or team stole a win that was more likely yours.
Saying Carlos nicked the win from Charles implies Charles was more likely to win but that was not the case going into Singapore that year. It sounds entitled, especially coming a whole year later when everyone can look back and see how Carlos was dominating that whole weekend.
As Jock says it, he wasn’t simply disappointed in himself (sad cos the race outcome didn’t meet his own expectations) as you claim. He was hurt by Carlos winning (which likens the feeling to pain, injury, physical harm, and attributes to cause to someone else, more visceral and personal). It shows he’s not the good team player he thought he was being. Whatever he said about that race, deep down he was so personally hurt, it actually makes him a poor sport, and his response and motivations vindictive. Certainly not healthy or positive. He should have known better from the moment he qualified behind.
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911 Lone Star Found Family
Thank you to @lemonlyman-dotcom for the tag! I am always up for talking about how much I love the relationships in this show
1)What is your favorite 911 Lone Star Found Family Moment?
It is so incredibly difficult for me to choose just one moment but if I had to, it would be TK trying to saving Marjan in 1x03. I'm choosing this one because even though we don't see as much of TK and Marjan's friendship as I wish we did, the idea of them is very close to my heart. I got introduced the show way back when it was first released by my bestie who is so much like TK that it's a running joke that TK was created especially for him. While I am not exactly like Marjan, I am a badass Muslim woman so I am the Marjan to my bestie's TK. And that moment I picked that moment in 1x03 because at that point, TK and Marjan didn't even really know each other that well yet TK was willing to risk his life to save her.
2)Which platonic pairing/friendship dynamic are you most looking forward too seeing again in season?
See answer above. TK and Marjan's friendship is really important to me. Aside from what I mentioned above, I love to think about how Marjan went from being treated as a prop at her former place to show everyone how woke they were to being respected and cherished as an important part of the team and a family member. As a side note, this is why as a Muslim woman myself, I like how Owen bringing Marjan (and everyone else on the team) isn't treated as something that he's doing to save them but rather is him almost inadvertently bringing together a family. He doesn't treat any of them as damsels who need him to save them whether they ask for it or not, he treats them like family that you help no matter what because you love them. And Marjan obviously picked up on it despite her initial reservations precisely because she wasn't looking for a savior and that's why she was so adamant to bring the firehouse back in season. All that said, I think TK and Marjan have a lot in common with the way they have been treated in the past regarding their job. Marjan was treated as a prop to get woke points and was constantly being underestimated and held back. TK was used to feeling like he had to constantly prove himself not only because he felt people looked down on him for being the captain's son but also because he, like so many others with any kind of mental illness, felt like he needed to prove people wrong constantly as validation that he is worth something. But then they found each other and I have loved that little moment during Marjan's interview in the pilot where TK looks up at her and smiles. You can tell he feels he has found a kindred spirit.
3)If you could pick one Lone Star character to be friends with, who would you choose?
Well since I already have a TK in my life, I'm just going to go with that. My TK (though that's not his name lol) is so important to me and my life would not be the same without him. It certainly would not be as good.
4)Which would you rather attend: Catan night at the loft or game night at the Ryders?
Now this is a tough choice because I have never played Catan but I love charades. However, I am going with Catan night purely because I love seeing them all in their group and I would love to spent time in that loft.
5)A character of your choice ends up in jail. Who would they call to bail them out (assuming their romantic partner, parent, and/or child didn't pick up)?
Carlos tbh because we've seen that he has no problem bailing his friends (or indeed his soulmate who had just rejected him) out of jail. Also, I just want to sit in a car with him while he's in uniform.
Anyway, all of this is meant to say that I adore TK and Marjan together because to me it feels like watching my bestie and myself onscreen. I would not have even known about the show without him and even though he is not really participating in fandom anymore for his own reasons, it is still a ritual for us to watch the show together and talk about it.
I know that I was late in responding to this but work has been a bitch lately (why oh why does real life have to be a thing?!) and I have no idea who has already participated or wants to participate. I am also really shy about tagging people so I will make this an open tag and I hope anyone who wants to participate will feel welcome to do so. And if there is anyone who doesn't mind being tagged by me, please let me know!
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i’m presenting a theory that’ll likely be wrong but!
so we know at some point tk asks owen to be his best man. we know this season is emphasizing his and owen’s relationship—tk refers to him as his best friend, owen expresses regret over how he handled telling tk about his cancer diagnosis and vows to never hide anything from him again.
we also know that carlos views his relationship with gabriel as a sore spot. he views owen and tk as having a great father-son dynamic. he tells andrea he feels he wouldn’t measure up and that’s the source of his conflict with wanting to be a father, most of which stems from the fact that he and gabriel just started having a relationship a couple of years ago…which still seems rife with complexities and deeply repressed issues due to ideas around masculinity, sexuality and other things that come about when carlos, the only boy and (likely) youngest kid is raised in a traditional household. we see carlos and gabriel embrace when carlos is saved, and you can see the love for his son gabriel has, but it’s also not hard to extrapolate from the scenes we’ve gotten from them that this isn’t something that’s expressed a whole lot.
so we know that carlos seeks out gabriel (likely a short while before the wedding) and asks him to be his best man. his reasoning is “you’re the best man i know” and i’m wondering if this is his attempt at an olive branch—at reaching out to his father before he gets married. and i’m wondering if whereas owen jumps at the opportunity to be tk’s best man, gabriel….hesitates.
i’m wondering if it’s kind of weighing on gabriel like….how their relationship has had its issues. i’m wondering if it’s going to open up a can of worms. we know he’s at the rehearsal dinner and seemingly happy, and we know he of course accepts and supports carlos and tk’s relationship, but i wonder if we’ll see him question why on earth carlos would want him to take on this role after all these years of miscommunication and emotional distance.
i think they’re purposely being shady with the promo so we don’t see whether or not gabriel is standing at carlos’ side as his best man, just like they’re hiding whether or not he’s at the wedding. but this still speaks volumes to me
alongside the fact that carlos is wearing gabriel’s ring. i think we’ll get a moment before the ceremony of gabriel either suddenly accepting the role (meaning iris, who is wearing a boutonnière similar to paul/owen/tk/carlos’ can step aside and just be a guest) or simply handing him his ring as a symbol of his love and his support and a promise to be better and talk more. and i think the still above, with carlos teary-eyed and and gripping tk’s hand, is gabriel standing up in front of everyone and giving a speech that shows how much respect he has for his son (and new son-in-law), how much he loves him, and how carlos is the best man he knows. cue tears for everyone and a step into carlos and gabriel working on their relationship. and leaving whatever this tragedy is (if there’s even something that big, we know how lone star plays us with wording) to something else.
#IDK!! i’m likely wrong but i think this would be such an interesting way to go. to show gabriel having these complex feelings#to have carlos really dig into his vulnerabilities with his dad#carlos reyes#gabriel reyes#tarlos#911 lone star#911ls#lone star speculation#lone star spoilers
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And now, it's time.
Day 5: Happy 5 Year Anniversary!
Wow. 5 years. I honestly can't believe that. Oh my GOSH that's long o.o. I went :O when I saw that when seeing advertising for the week.
I love this show so much (ignore me posting and editing to get it here before midnight for me lol). It's absolutely insane how long it's been. I started watching late in November, I believe, maaaaybe early December. We'd talked about getting Disney+, and I knew my family would find it silly but I was intrigued by a show called High School Musical: The Musical: The Series. A crazy title and a weird premise. I said I was just curious, fascinated by it, wondering what it would be like. So, one evening, my sister and I watched it.
We watched the first four episodes and laughed and made fun of it the whole time. But, miraculously, I found myself invested.
And the next episode.
In Season 1 Episode 5, they brought Seb and Carlos to us as a couple. I was shocked and happy, and honestly a little confused. I didn't know I was queer yet. I knew what queer was, had found out from my sibling surrounding some family stuff, but I'd never seen canon queer characters before. I guess I knew I was an ally, even if I didn't totally get why, but it was just so cool to see them. I honestly felt kind of weird because what did two gay high school boys mean to me, I was a straight girl!
Ha.
It wouldn't be for a couple more years that I would realize I was queer. I too fell victim to the "yeah, but I'm just an ally" trap lol. But I seriously fell in love with them. I remember my sibling and I loving how cute Carlos's little dance was, how excited he was. How devastated and in denial we were when Seb didn't show up. And how much we loved it when Carlos danced, and when Seb did show up :').
That solidified the show for me. That made me stay. They made me stay. They've meant the world to me ever since.
And since then, I have seen 33 amazing, wonderful episodes (just like the 5 before them lol). I've been angry, I've been sad, I've been in awe, I've been happy. I've seen myself represented not just in queer characters, but in theatre kids. In kids who are lonely and find family there. In kids who lived in a shadow, who were shy, who were thrust in and trusted by their teacher and director.
This show is silly. It does silly things, it has silly performances, it has silly jokes, silly unlikely things happen, and it's a silly premise. But I absolutely love it. I realized one day, after having seen someone mention "the One show that changed them forever", that mine was High School Musical The Musical The Series. Sounds silly, and I had to think about some of my more recent shows to figure it out. But it is. I remember scrolling through the tag, searching Seblos, before I even made a Tumblr account. Seeing things first after the finale of Season 1, deleted scenes pictures of Carlos giving Seb flowers. So many important moments for me were taken alongside step with HSMTMTS. Even though I barely post about it anymore (because so many interests catch my attention and I don't usually have much to say about it off the top of my head), it's still the 4th top "Posts a lot about" when you go to search on my blog. I think that says something. And I'm proud of it.
I haven't had a lot of interaction with the fandom during my time here, especially while the show was still running (and because I mainly stay in the Seblos tag, especially with remembering scrolling through all the Driver's License stuff before and when it first came out lol), but everyone means so much to me. Especially everyone still posting, still creating now. The fanfics, the art, the edits, and gifsets, everything is so important to me, and everything else. Thank you all <3. And thank you, when I did come, for being such an accepting place (at least the places I went to). Thank you guys for sticking around through this show, and even for just being here for a little while. Thanks for sticking with me, those that have :). And the friends I've made from this fandom and this show - you mean the world to me <3. Thank you all so much for everything you've done, everything that's made this show even more enjoyable :'). I love you all so much ❤️.
I love High School Musical: The Musical: The Series. And I'm proud and happy I do :).
Happy 5 Year Anniversary 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥰🥰🎊🎊🎉🎉🎂🎂🎂!!!!
#hsmtmts#oasis's hsmtmts chatter#hsmtmtsnet#hsmtmtsweek#hsmtmtsweek24#thanks guys :')#I love you all so much <3#and thanks for sticking with me through this series!!#late and rushed though it may be (late for every day except today lol - ignoring this 17 minute edit slfjdks)#hopefully I'll post some fanfic soon - probably one of the wips I posted bits of like the chatfic :D#anyway :)))#glad to have this to be happy (if a little sad as that comes with nostalgia) about after all the 91 1 stuff :) (spaced to avoid tags)#and poli tics stuff lol#anyway <33#I love you all :DDD ❤️❤️❤️❤️!!!!#byeeee :))) 🥰🥰🥰🥰 <333!!!!
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I really don't understand what Ferrari's doing. I don't mean necessarily this year, but in general. This new car had to be the great comeback after 2020... 🙈🙈🙈
Last year's car was unreliable but fast as hell and Leclerc loved it. But they changed the car throughout all of last season to make it more suitable for Sainz who kept crashing. Now the car is miles slower, Leclerc hates it, Sainz likes it, and Red Bull is still dominating (we were lucky in Singapore but just because RB did badly, just like last year).
I know you keep saying that the team would never change the car for one driver if it meant it would get slower, but evidence says otherwise. Binotto, the rest of the team, Sainz himself said they worked hard to suit the car to him, and here's the result: the car is OBJECTIVELY slower than last year, and it doesn't suit Leclerc at all.
In Singapore, 2nd and 3rd were faster, we only kept them behind using DRS tricks. Leclerc said from the first moment that it was all planned and his role was to protect Sainz as best as he could. It didn't seem like he was protecting Ferrari, he seemed totally honest (unlike last year, where you could tell he was disappointed and just trying to keep peace).
It seems like Ferrari has chosen its first driver years ago (they even had Leclerc go receive his 2nd place in the championship trophy ALONE) but lack the decency of being honest with us (and possibly with Leclerc as well...).
Sainz's first victory came after 10 years in F1 and Leclerc had to sacrifice his own race to cover him. His second victory, same thing (though less of a shit show since Leclerc isn't running for the title this time). He gets the best strategies, can fight orders (Silverstone'22: "Hamilton and Perez will eat me alive if I try to defend!", so they had Leclerc do it and sacrifice his own race), can badmouth Leclerc and the team without repercussions.
I don't know if it's because Ferrari knows that Leclerc would literally die for them, so they take him for granted, or if sponsors are involved (we all know F1 is a political game and Santander got Kimi sacked for Alonso, it isn't even a conspiracy but a fact, especially in Italy everyone knows:
https://www.tumblr.com/sugar-and-spice-cl/729117320204648448/im-new-to-f1-but-santander-got-kimi-booted-from
(iirc OP is Italian).
I'm not saying I prefer Binotto to Vasseur, because Binotto was completely allergic to taking responsibility for his mistakes... but at least with him the car was the fastest on the grid.
Wtf is Ferrari doing?
The car isn't objectively slower overall. It was slower in qualifying in both Monaco and Suzuka (and maybe somewhere else but I don't remember). The car did get better in certain things compared to 2022 but they also made a lot of mistakes.
The thing is more that in their quest to I guess make Carlos more comfortable while also making the car faster they went wrong and it looks extra bad because the rest didn't get it wrong so they caught up or in RBs case extended their advantage.
Waché RBs TD said that with these cars it's easier to find speed at the front than in the rear. And RB who started with a more rearwards balance in 2022 shifted their balance forwards and their car got significantly faster. Ferrari wanted to shift the balance backwards but doing that and finding speed is much harder according to him. And so I think they thought they could do it but irl couldn't and got it massively wrong.
On Singapore looking at pace as such in Singapore doesn't mean much tbh. Half the race Carlos was going as slow as possible and that only works in Singapore because overtaking is super hard unless you are significantly faster or you do it via the pits and an undercut. Lando definitely wasn't faster overall and the Mercs were faster but they also were on a different strategy and were properly pushing. And with how well Lando did defending the DRS thing wasn't that needed tbh.
The win in Singapore was really important for Fred and his standing in the team etc. RB had messed up and it was THE chance to win and throwing that away would get in the way of Fred getting to properly establish himself in the team. That's why Charles cooperated. Because Fred needed it. Because Ferrari needed it. And the fact that is was Carlos who won doesn't change much.
We're in a throwaway season, there is no need for a proper driver hierarchy atm. But also the way that Fred talks about the drivers paints a different picture. We also know that Charles contract negotiations started early and he has most likely already signed a long term-ish deal. Meanwhile we don't hear anything like that about Carlos and they either actually haven't started negotiations yet or (and) he is definitely not getting what he wasn't which is the same thing that Charles is getting because otherwise there would be no need to be complaining so much and so loud.
I know this is an old ask, but read Charles interview with the race that came out today. He very clearly believe in the project and to me that means he is definitely at the centre of that.
Fred famously left Renault super quickly because he wasn't a fan of the politics. he doesn't like that stuff.
The current car is shit but that it's not shit because of Fred. This season we can only more recently start to judge Fred when it comes to the general operations. This car was designed under Binotto and all Fred has been able to is still push the development which he has done. Ferrari have brought more in general and more effective upgrades this season than last, but this car has some fundamental issues (chassis, suspension etc) that you can't just fix mid season with the cost cap.
The first car to judge Fred with is the 2024 car. And even then because they are starting with a new concept it probably won't start 100% flawless. But this current car is not on Fred at all.
not to mention the race interview again but Charles pretty much says he was ready to leave Ferrari last year and that he believes in the project now more than ever.
I get not wanting to trust Fred but do trust Charles he isn't an idiot.
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WTH IS THIS ARTICLE we have a super spy hockey ninja on the leafs now????
i have no idea who this is and treliving we have no choice but to follow you to the fiery depths of leafie hell but yooo this dude sounds fire for team culture and at bargain price so colour me INTRIGUED
am34's new bunts/bff??? an older rookie'esque grinder who can play top 6.. he does love his geriatric young-at-hearts who beckon to him to be the star and apparently this fella's a chameleon shapeshifter off the ice or something i cannot get a read on this ghost
full article:
The text messages among a group of former University of Denver teammates almost always follow a similar pattern: Someone will try to pry information out of Dylan Gambrell, the 26-year-old centre carving out an NHL career for himself. Yet before they know it, those same friends will instead find themselves sharing insight into their own life and career as the crafty and elusive Gambrell has managed to flip the tables.
That’s the way Gambrell operates.
Sharing personal details doesn’t come naturally to Gambrell. Instead, the Maple Leafs centre signed to a one-year, $775,000 contract this offseason is at his most content when he’s surrounded by teammates, keeping the conversation going but still keeping his cards close to his chest.
“He’s a silent assassin,” former Denver teammate Blake Hillman said of Gambrell. “He doesn’t say much, but he’s very cerebral about the way he handles his life.”
With the likes of Tyler Bertuzzi, Max Domi and John Klingberg joining the Leafs via free agency, the addition of Gambrell has flown under the radar. He’s 26 but has already spent parts of six seasons in the NHL. Early indications are that Domi — despite having played centre before — will line up on the wing to start his Leafs career. And so there looks to be a hole in the fourth-line centre role. Pontus Holmberg could be in contention for the job, given his defensive acumen and how well he adapted in a short amount of time during his 37-game NHL rookie stint last year.
But right now, Gambrell might be in the pole position for the job.
“(Gambrell) has played a lot in the league over the past few years,” Leafs GM Brad Treliving said. “I think he is going to provide us with good depth.”
Those who know Gambrell believe his journey has given him the kind of experience and know-how that could allow him to surprise some onlookers, make the most of his time in Toronto and grab onto a full-time NHL spot.
Throughout Gambrell’s three seasons at the University of Denver, teammates and the coaching staff rarely had to worry much about him.
Not when Gambrell was showing his strong puck skills and speedy skating in a top-six role in just his second year with the program, and putting up more than a point per game throughout his entire three-season NCAA career. And not when contributing in all situations including in key moments late in games en route to a national championship in 2017.
The responsible game Gambrell employed mirrored who Gambrell was off the ice: low-maintenance and remarkably mature. During Gambrell’s 2015-16 freshman season, he was voted the “Most Put Together” teammate in a year-end awards ceremony.
“He’s always been one of those guys looking out for everyone else,” Hillman said of Gambrell.
Gambrell credits moving far away from his Bonney Lake, Wash., home to Colorado at 14 and moving in with the family of future Boston Bruin Brandon Carlo while playing Triple-A hockey as the reason for his early maturity.
“He was always involved (with the team) and always in the mix, in a good way,” Gambrell’s former Denver assistant coach David Carle said.
Carle was invited to Gambrell’s July wedding and was taken aback by the fact that nearly 20 former teammates of different ages were invited. He then remembered what kind of person Gambrell is.
Whenever Carle would tuck his head in on team functions, he would see the entire Denver team in attendance. And he’d then hear later that was because it was Gambrell who would make the effort to include every player, regardless of age or standing within the team.
“(Gambrell) likes to relate to everyone, and in different ways, which is a pretty unique characteristic of his,” former Denver teammate Logan O’Connor said of Gambrell.
While Gambrell might not necessarily be as gregarious as, say, fellow new Leaf Ryan Reaves, his high comfort level with different types of teammates is nonetheless notable. Treliving said early in free agency that he had heard this Leafs team is a “quiet group.” And so Gambrell’s efforts to be consistently inclusive with teammates could have made him an attractive signing in Treliving’s eyes.
“He’s a guy who endears himself well to his teammates because of the quality of person he is, and the values he has,” Carle said.
Being low-maintenance helped Gambrell move on from Denver and earn three different contracts with the San Jose Sharks after being drafted in the second round of the 2016 draft. He spent most of his first full pro season in the AHL learning the ropes, and learning some hard lessons about sticking in the NHL.
Consistency didn’t come easy. Some nights Gambrell looked like the best player on the ice during a 51-game season with the AHL’s San Jose Barracuda, other nights he’d struggle to impact the game.
“He was really hard on himself,” Gambrell’s then-Barracuda head coach Roy Sommer said. “If he didn’t get the results he liked, it affected his personality a little bit. But he started getting better at that.”
Gambrell came to a realization not every young professional comes to: The highly skilled player he was in college, who produced plenty of offence over his three-year career, might not be the player he could be in the NHL.
He’d have to embrace more of the 200-foot game he played at times in college and focus on impacting the game with finer details as opposed to only on the scoresheet. It ended up becoming one of his most important realizations as a pro to date.
“I had to change my game,” Gambrell admits. “Obviously there was a maturing phase, and I realized my defensive game was going to be a much bigger thing. I always thought I was a 200-foot player, but I had to realize how important the defensive side of the game is, too.”
And again, he did it all with the kind of coachable attitude that has endeared him to those who know him. He might have been a relatively high draft pick with a promising offensive future, but his maturity helped him come to an understanding of his NHL future that can be difficult for some to swallow.
“I never once saw him text and complain about being on the fourth line,” Hillman said.
That’s not who he is.
“You’ve got to find your niche,” Gambrell said of his NHL career. “(Playing defensively) was something that helped keep me in the lineup.”
Throughout his four seasons in San Jose, he admired the way veterans such as Joe Pavelski handled themselves with consistent professionalism on and off the ice. It meant that when he landed in Ottawa after an October 2021 trade, he stuck in the NHL with the Ottawa Senators. He scored just seven goals in his 123 NHL games in Ottawa, but the experience added up, as did his ability to read games with his hockey IQ and learn to be in the right spots defensively by utilizing his smarts and speed.
That maturity, skill set and NHL experience could see him beat out the incumbent Holmberg in a training camp battle.
“I think (the Leafs) like my energy and speed and the responsible side of the game that I can bring,” Gambrell said.
The battle for the fourth-line centre role will be one of the few roster battles to watch once Leafs training camp gets underway in September. After a career spent largely out of the limelight, Gambrell will have more eyeballs on him and his play than ever before. To win a spot, he’ll need to show more offence in his game than he has in the NHL. That’s partly why he’s planning on arriving in Toronto well ahead of training camp to acclimatize himself with his new teammates and start developing some chemistry on the ice early on.
But it feels likely the increased attention Gambrell will face in Toronto won’t faze him whatsoever. He’s built his career on keeping his head down and trying to improve.
Just ask his group chat.
“He’s very good at not showing emotion. He always reacts to every situation with calm,” Hillman said. “If there’s one person who will be able to tune everything out, it’s him.”
#dylan gambrell#toronto maple leafs#an actual wtf am i reading#my leafies#university of denver#san jose barracuda#san jose sharks#ottawa senators#brad treliving#logan o’connor#brandon carlo#joe pavelski#annieQ hockey thoughts
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I like Andry Berman
Shawn: I don't want to waste my one piece of broccoli! What's the smallest takeout box you have?
They liked Sage Brocks so much in the one scene in the pilot that they brought him back for the show <3
Little Boy Cat is intersex. It has xxy chromosomes.
The Bloggers!
SF: We generally just don't care.
JRr made up the majority of Dazzle & Stretch & the music ones just... put music to it. That's amazing. I love that. (like how the disclaimer song was made by lixian)
HOLY CRAP I DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE he stayed in the same key perfectly. I HATE it when people change keys in movies bc they don't hear what's going on. I mean, a semitone or less, fine that happens but I hate it, a third fourth or fifth because the harmony got you wrong, I get why it happens but I still hate it. I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE HOW MANY PEOPLE CAN'T SING! I mean, I grew up in a very musical family, my parents were together because they did music ministry, my dad learned guitar to impress my mom, I grew up volunteering at seniors' centres singing, I tune my violin my ear, in my head everyone should be able to stay somewhat in the same key, even if your voice trails higher or lower while you sing. I can't even make myself sing wrong. (I do sometimes by accident tho, usually when the jumps are odd & i can't find the harmony, & occasionally I get off by less than a semitone bc the note is just not quite on a place I can easily sing, so my voice slips off that tone into a tone I can sing that is very very close so maybe I'm not as good as I think, but I actually consider myself only an OK singer & musician, so if I'm only ok then I expect everyone else around me to be about the same level. It blows my mind that people are not. I guess I'm just used to being the worst in the room, not to show my chip or anything.
AB: This is one of four apartment buildings in all of Canada that can look like it's in Santa Barbara
He's only the heir to Mushroom Barley XD XD XD
KK: Always some sort of homoeroticism
Copaganda go die. Neurodivergent private investigators (Castle, Shawn, Watts & Murdoch for a few episodes each, Holmes,) you're on thin ice. Shawn breaks the law all the time, wdym the network won't let him break the law? You can enter someone's home without permission & lie to the cops about being psychic (though that's hard to disprove bc being psychic is supernatural therefore you cannot disprove it using natural means; you can't judge paranormal by normal laws) but he can't open someone's mail? I mean I'm glad. Don't break the law, don't let cops break the law.
Initially they wrote it so some homeless guy would open the mail for Shawn or Shawn gave it to the cat & the cat opened it so it was not HIM mail tampering
JRr improv: All the way to the bone!?
Shawn multicultural moments: Mazel tov, dial a psychic!
The one time they didn't include a pinap they had to do a reshoot & added in a pineapple smoothie
AB: Next season we are moving on from pineapple, we're taking suggestions. Mango, maybe starfruit
matt shakman my man
XD he actually banged his knee
Carlos improvised the "Why would you put it on speakerphone" bit which like, yeah this is a stress line (not necesarily a crisis line or a suicide line, just a stress line)
JRr came up with the coconut
Oh this is where Gus gets into coin collecting!
There is a beauty salon down the hall from the stress line
No way Shawn is the only non work friend Gus has... He has hobbies, like at comiccon he was greeted by people...
Andy Berman: If I looked like Dulé, I would streak.
Poser.
When shawn first calls vick: First of all, how are you?
McNab plays guitar
It would be a lot easier if the network let us send in the show like "this week it's an hour & a half!"
DH when Shawn says "maybe you should shoot me" gets out from hiding behind him, subtle good acting
"That was adequate" hhh
Chris Henze: McNab in this day & age is wearing sock garters
KK: Someone tell my husband
I like how mcnab is not a big character but he is there. I read a fic once that included francine & little boy cat.
"If we ever see mcnab's apartment again we should see the cat"
KK: There should be like ten of them, he was pregnant, like "thanks Shawn"
KK: Once again, homoeroticism, by Andy Burman.
AB: I write that & don't expect for it to make it through, but it makes it through you & you're like "yeah set it up that sounds good" & then James'll say it & I'm wondering if there was any discussion at all... but it's great
KK: I hear from the network sometimes, they say "I'm kind of concerned about the overwhelming amount of male love on the show"
CH: These guys like each other. They're "good friends"
AB: Well Kelly has a rule, or three rules. They can hug, but they can't close their eyes.
KK: No that's Henze's rule
CH: Yeah you can hug another guy on camera, but once you close your eyes it becomes a little something special.
DH did that, put Gus' finger in Shawn's cereal.
& then JRr used the same spoon.
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Tag Game: Endings
Thank you @lonestar-s5countdown as always for the questions. I've had fun doing these!
Most of these got pretty rambly, so sorry about that! I just have a lot of feelings about this show.
---
(1) Which 911 Lone Star season finale is your favorite?
It's gotta be 4x18! I loved how the journeys these characters were going through all accumulate in the overarching theme of choosing love even when you're in pain.
TK and Carlos chose to have their wedding in spite of the grief and the pain of unanswered questions. Judd chose to take care of Wyatt and refused to give up hope, but he also listened to his needs after he pushed him too hard. Tommy and Trevor chose to love each other in spite of the gossipers, and during the wedding Tommy reveals that she isnt opposed to getting married again. She's choosing to let herself feel that happiness again when she finds that Trevor is someone she would want to have that with. Robert chose to give his family some peace instead of letting them watch as he continued to get sicker. He's giving his family the gift of life by ending his own, and Owen chose to be there for him even though he would have to watch his brother die for a second time. He chose to make sure he wouldnt be alone even though there could be consequences and even though his family would probably feel hurt and betrayed if they found out.
These are all situations in which they have to make tough decisions and come to an understanding about all of the complex feelings that they have. There's happiness, and there's sadness. There's pain, and there's joy. And at the end of the day, that's what life is. I think the season 4 finale was both a beautiful insight into the headspace of each character in regards to their pain, but overall it is a reminder of what it means to live.
(2) What was your favorite moment from the season 4 finale?
The wedding! That's probably the obvious answer, so I'm going to get more specific and say that I loved the final scene with the montage overlayed with Tommy singing Being Alive. A perfect song choice in regards to the theme I discussed in the last question.
This scene gives us a brief look into all of the different stages of grief, pain, and healing each character is in. We see joy from Tarlos on their honeymoon. We see hope from Grace, Judd and Wyatt as he begins to make some progress with his mobility. We see a sort of acceptance from Owen and Robert, as well as the begginings of grief for Owen when they prepare for Robert to end his own life. I particularly loved how the scene ended with the song coming to a close and we watch as Owen struggles to process the fact that Robert is dead, until he eventually finds the strength to call 911. That was a really memorable and haunting moment for me.
They're all struggling with unique problems and dealing with their pain in their own ways, but that's proof that they are still living.
(3) Are there any storylines that you would like to see brought back for a more satisfying conclusion?
Not necessarily a specific storyline, but I would love to see how Nancy handles a leadership role now and how she's grown since the DNI incident. I would also like to explore her backstory more and her relationship with Mateo.
(4) Pick one character and tell us where you hope to see them at the end of season 5.
For Owen, I would really like to see him coming back to his roots. In season 4 he was lost. He expressed feelings of loneliness in the wake of TK getting married and "not needing" him. I want to see him rediscover his worth. Whether it be helping his family in TK and Carlos, or helping everyone else. From all of the intense distasters and emergencies they will face, to the dilemmas Owen will have to resolve when it comes to losing Judd and Tommy temporarily, and having to make a decision between Paul and Marjan. Owen will fall back into that leadership role and find that he still has a lot to give to people and a lot of people who still care about him and rely on him. I also want to see him come to a place of forgiveness in himself in regards to Robert. He's made a lot of progress with the guilt he feels towards everything else that has happened in his life, but Owen truly feels most at peace when he's helping people and he's going to have to learn how to find peace in not being able to fix everything, even if he did the best he could.
(5) What is one thing you really want to see before the show ends?
A Carlos dedicated episode! He's definitely due for one and I can feel it in my bones that s5 will give that to us in some fashion.
@strandnreyes @lemonlyman-dotcom @heartstringsduet @bonheur-cafe @herefortarlos
@literateowl @carlos-tk @paperstorm @guardian-angle22 @lightningboltreader
@ironheartwriter @emsprovisions @sapphic--kiwi @welcomehometk @corsage
@nancys-braids @captain-gillian @alrightbuckaroo @theghostofashton @thisbuildinghasfeelings
@carlos-in-glasses @freneticfloetry @reyesstrand @butchreyes @firstprince-history-huh
+ open tag
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I guess I've been missing having a place where I can just throw up all my feelings and tell the little-but-important things that i've been passing through, like when you just feel something so deep in your soul but it's so personal and deep that you cant just bring that subject as a non important talk to someone who's not connected to that feeling and moment but that you also wanna share it because you've been felling this and since it's out of you now it should be free in the world and have it's place out here because you're too tired of holding on your on stuff and feelings. That said, hi... I'm Carlos and my life is kinda of crazy... (I'm so down for cliches lately lol
I love how you can just be taken out of your own moment and transfered to somewhere else by movies and tv shows... I was here watching season two of heartstopper and holy shit, it blows my mind of how related I am with the hole story. I can see myself in each and every single character. There's so much of Charlie and Nick in my ~gay history~. I just love how good, sensitive and empatic the show is about every subject they talk about. It made me revisit a lot of big emotional moments in my life but in a good way, with so much more respect and empathy for who I am and all I've been through.
It made me cry a little about how hard things might be for us just by being in the LGBTQIA+ community, that's a pain I'm constantly ignoring and shutting down on my life, I guess I don't feel like is fair to face it since I had a pretty vanilla experience on it. Sure I was afraid, anxious and to be honestly pretty much terrified as how it would be, but since things turn out to be good I just tried to compensate that people accept me as I am by being almost a people pleaser to overcompensate the respect they gave me. I'm so done with in the past years. People use to take me for granted by giving you the bare minimum, respect, company, "friendship" and I, on the other side felt like I should overcompensate that I was a burden just because I am bi. I feel like a retired bi since I've been dating a guy for almost 7 years (if you're reading this, I love you so freaking-fucking much), but that, the bi thing, is another topic.
Talking about topics, I always felt like I wasn't committed with things. Me. A people pleaser. A person who goes deep in everything that does. I used to think I wasn't committed enough. That's no joke. But, let's get back on what I was trying to say. It feels so good to be contemplate by shows and movies who connect us to parts of who we are that were left behind/forgotten and help us to make peace with ourselves. It's like a real life miracle, you don't even know you needed, but suddenly if you healed from an old pain. It's truly a relief for me. I'm so happy that after so many years I just made peace with somethings I've been through. Hope everyone out there can find that kind of peace too.
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Ok rewatching Season 3 Episode 3 you can see, feel, and smell the fear in EJ's face during the whole episode. And no one notices or even thinks to ask if he's ok. First, in the cabin when he was talking to Gina. As soon as she started talking about being the lead and how many lines she had and Anna's arc and what a big deal this was for her. And EJ's just sitting there. Frozen. Terrified. Like it's hitting him in that moment was a huge deal this is. And it's all on him. The at the beginning of Newbie Night, Maddox is trying to convince him to do the scary song and not focus on the show. But EJ has so much to do for the show. And, fine, she convinces him to do the song. As he should. After all, everyone has to take a break at some point. If you work straight through without taking any time for anything else it's gonna fail miserably. EJ needs breaks in between everything despite how much pressure and stress this show puts on him. So he agrees to do the song, at least. And as soon as it's over he goes right back to working on the show. Then when everyone busts into his tent and interrupts him working - didn't he specifically tell everyone how much he had on his plate? - and ask him all these questions at once, he answers everything quickly and tries to shoo everyone out. Gina seems to get it, she knows he needs to focus. And they all leave. But they don't even so much as apologize. Or ask if there's anything they can do. Or...anything. They just leave. Ricky goes with Gina to see the spooky shrine, which he originally asked EJ to do. Um...kinda feels like that was a little bit of foreshadowing for the end of Season 3. Gina chose to go with Ricky to see the spooky shrine and explore the creepy woods instead of staying with/trying to help/support/whatever wording you wanna use here EJ. Finally, when Carlos is in the tent with EJ and he even tells Kourtney that EJ has a lot on his plate, the focus shifts once again to Corbin Bleu. And, to top it off, Ricky and Gina are missing. EJ hears that and he's stressed. They went without him. It probably feels like Gina chose Ricky over him. Is that a sign of things to come? What would have happened if he said yes? Did he basically send them off together? Even if he's not automatically thinking those things, this has to be where the fear starts. Because after that he automatically puts the binder down. Good luck focusing on all that work with the script to do with all this pressure AND imagining your girlfriend with the guy she used to like. EJ was screwed from the start.
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so so many thanks to everyone who read even one of these stories. i am forever grateful for all the support i've received; every comment, every kudos, every reblog, every like - they all mean so much. i'm overwhelmed, honestly, but in the very best way. ily all 🥰
day one: against all odds (we're still here) for @trkstrnd
Carlos will hate himself for it later, but he’s so focused on his task that the screech of tires coming around the corner barely registers as a blip on his radar. He doesn’t notice anything until TK suddenly barrels into him, throwing Carlos to the side just before something else, something heavy, crashes into them with a blinding flash of pain, and then—
Nothing.
*
a simple trip to the grocery store quickly turns to disaster for tk and carlos
day two: out, damned spot for anon
TK wakes up gasping, choking on air. The sheets are suffocating him and, when he tries to free himself, they only seem to get tighter. The hands reaching out for him, trying to calm him, are the final straw; TK throws himself from bed and sprints to the bathroom, slamming and locking the door behind him as he collapses against the sink.
On some level, he is aware that the hands were Carlos’s, that the sheets were theirs, that his hands are clean, and that the dream was just a dream.
But they weren't always that way.
day three: the meetings for those in my wake for @freddieholic
For years after the divorce, Gwyn came to learn that any call from Owen was almost certainly bad news, and almost always about their son. Things have been better in the three years since her time in Texas, which is why she thinks nothing of it when he calls just after she’s put Isaac to bed for the night.
“Owen, hey,” she greets. “What’s up?”
The silence she’s answered with is the first sign that something’s wrong.
The sob that follows is the second.
“Gwyn, it’s TK. He's... They think we should say goodbye."
day four: a friend in me for 📍 anon
Carlos has come to see Nancy as a force of nature, a woman who will let nothing and no-one stand in her way, whether that’s out on the field or during a game of Monopoly. But, right now, as she sits hunched over in one of the interrogation rooms, shock blanket around her shoulders, he's never seen her look so small.
or
the story of how nancy and carlos become the new champions of 126 games nights
day five: truth is heavier than fiction for anon
Carlos pauses with his hand on the doorknob, taking a moment to prepare himself before going inside. TK’s shift finished an hour ago and he’d texted to let Carlos know he was home, which means Carlos is going to be walking right into a conversation he’d rather avoid.
Not that he’d have much choice either way; he might be able to cover his cracked and bruised ribs for a little while, but the arm in a sling will tell on him as soon as the door opens. Carlos doesn’t want to hide his injuries—they’ve had enough conversations in reverse on that theme to make him a hypocrite if he did—but he may have made some choices that he doesn’t particularly want to go into right now. Not while he’s tired and aching and just wants to cuddle with his boyfriend.
He blows out a breath, then opens the door, bracing himself for TK’s reaction.
“Hey— Shit!”
day six: slowly, and then all at once for @pragmaticoptimist34
The realisation that he loves Carlos hits him like a bolt out of the blue.
And at the worst possible moment.
We are getting updates on the active shooter situation at the Four Seasons Hotel. Austin Police Department have closed off the area and officers are currently preparing to enter the building to detain the suspect. It is as yet unknown if there have been any civilian casualties, but—
“Paul, turn the damn TV back on.”
“No.”
*
five times tk can't admit his feelings about carlos, and one time he finally does
day seven: the promise of tomorrow for anon
Up until five minutes ago, Carlos had been terrified of never having TK in his arms again. Now, the thought of letting him go scares him just as much, and TK seems to feel the same, if the way he’s clutching at Carlos’s jacket and pulling it tight across his back is any indication.
Carlos hugs him close, sinking down to his knees as TK falls into the chair behind him, letting the rest of the room fade away to nothing as he realises that they weren’t too late—that TK is here, with him, alive and mostly whole.
day eight: we'll hold each other soon for @221bsunsettowers
“Be careful, please,” TK said, smoothing down the lapels of Carlos’s shirt. “Whatever happens out there, whatever you have to do, just promise me one thing. Promise you’ll come back to me.”
Carlos knew better than to promise something like that, and TK knew better than to ask it. But because it was him, and because it was TK, Carlos just nodded and leaned in to press a kiss to TK’s temple.
“I promise,” he whispered, pulling away.
It's the last good memory Carlos has, and he's going to hold onto it for as long as he has left. If he's going to die, then the last thing he wants to see is TK's smile.
day nine: now i am just but the wayward man for anon
Ben is glaring at him again.
Klaus is very familiar with this specific glare—it’s the one Ben breaks out when Klaus is being ‘stubborn’ and ‘stupid’ and ‘a fucking asshole junkie with no self-respect who only cares about the next high and, really, it’s a fucking miracle you haven’t gotten yourself killed yet, Klaus’.
He has to hand it to him. Ben really does have him down to a tee.
*
winter is approaching and klaus has nowhere to go. his siblings are his only option—meaning he effectively has no options.
day ten: i can't imagine my life without you for 📍 anon
It had come completely out of left field—one minute everything was fine, the next Carlos had turned to him with guarded eyes and a clenched jaw, and said six words that sent TK’s whole world crashing down.
“I think we need a break.”
*
nobody likes to be asked 'trouble in paradise?', particularly when the answer is yes.
day eleven: start again from the beginning for anon
Owen trusts his son. He’s watched TK fight his addiction and stay sober for the last six years, and he has faith that he can handle himself.
But when TK doesn’t show up for work the night after proposing to Alex, Owen knows that something is wrong. After all, they've been here before.
day twelve: let me love you when your heart is tired for anon
TK knows it’s going to be a bad day from the moment he opens his eyes. Slowly, slowly, each twitch like he’s moving mountains, he inches his hand blindly across the bed to reach out for Carlos. If he can just feel his boyfriend, if he can just see him—
But, of course. Carlos has a shift today. TK has a vague recollection of him getting out of bed at five this morning, rousing him with a shift to the mattress and a gentle kiss on the forehead.
If this were a normal day, he might smile at the memory.
day thirteen: couldn't utter my love when it counted for 📍 anon
TK takes his time in the bathroom, stopping to stare at his reflection in the mirror for several minutes and trying to talk himself down from any more-than-friendly feelings towards Carlos.
Later, they’ll tell him that this saved his life.
But that won’t be for a long time, until after the smoke has cleared and the dead have been counted and the statements have been taken. For now, TK steels his resolve and nods at himself, then turns to the door, a hand reaching out for the handle.
That’s when the explosion rips through the building.
*
after the boba date, tk lets carlos go. they're friends, which is working just fine, until a horrific accident threatens to take even that away from them.
day fourteen: if i walk out the door (a thousand eyes) for anon
TK gets this feeling sometimes, a sort of prickling at his back, like someone’s behind him, breathing down his neck. At first, it was only a once-in-a-while situation, so he thinks nothing of it; when it becomes an everyday occurrence, he starts to wonder, but he’s probably just being paranoid. The shooting, kidnapping, firehouse explosion, and the fire at his and Carlos’s house had all taken their toll, and TK’s just generally more on edge these days.
He doesn’t tell anyone about the feeling, not even Carlos. There’s no reason to fuck up everyone else’s peace with something so stupid. It’ll go away eventually; TK’s sure of it.
That is, until one of the lots just down from the firehouse gets occupied.
day fifteen: find you here inside the dark for @fanfic-corner
Yaz has walked this room too many times to count now; she’s traced her fingertips over the walls, searching for any cracks or crevices to indicate where there might be a door.
If the Doctor were here, she’d have her sonic out by now, spitting out words, only half of which Yaz could understand. She’d find a way out in no time. Or, if not, at least she’d be here. Talking a mile a minute, probably annoying the hell out of their captors. Yaz can almost hear her now—
Wait.
She can hear her now.
day sixteen: accidents happen for @ilovemosss
So, Jason reflects, it may not have been the best idea to take Pythagoras out training while they’re all suffering from a severe lack of sleep. Being the more logical of them, Pythagoras, to his credit, had attempted to talk him out of it, but Jason ignored him.
He very much regrets that decision now.
day seventeen: you and me (moving through this world as a two-man team) for @laelipoo
TK does not have a crush on the 126's latest hire.
Carlos Reyes: an Austin local, an incredible firefighter, and—objectively speaking—the most beautiful man TK has ever laid eyes on. Which is, in fact, the entire point; TK has eyes and, yes, he will use them to sneak a look or two when he’s suddenly sharing space with a man who looks like a Greek god.
That does not mean he has a crush, Paul.
(and, sure, maybe he does sometimes dream about how soft Carlos’s lips look and the little blush he gets when he laughs and those little flecks of gold in his eyes, but he’s only human)
(how TK knows about the gold in Carlos’s eyes is none of anybody’s business)
day eighteen: in perfect harmony for @anyotherheartwilldo
Here’s the thing—Carlos doesn’t believe in signs. He used to when he was younger, raised on his abuela’s stories, but as he’d gotten older his father had taught him that what mattered was the choices he made. He’s the only one who has a say in the way his life turns out, and if he wants something, he has to put in the work to get it.
But there comes a point—namely, after his fifth thwarted attempt to propose to TK—when he begins to wonder if the universe really does have something against him.
*
proposing to tk proves far more complicated than carlos had first thought.
day nineteen: whatever here that's left of me (is yours) for anon
“Are you…” TK leans closer, peering at the hoodie Carlos is wearing, and—yep. “Why are you wearing my hoodie? Was there nothing in your size from the crew? You should have said something. We can fix this, you don’t need to be uncomfortable.”
There’s a beat, and then Carlos, studiously avoiding TK’s gaze, clears his throat. “It smells like you.”
*
post-2.12, carlos finds comfort in tk's hoodies.
day twenty: can't smile without you for anon
Carlos would be lying to himself if the possibility hadn’t occurred to him before. He has always worried for TK’s safety, and the knowledge that a serial killer is on the loose in Austin has sent that worry skyrocketing. Especially because he’s the lead detective on the case; he’s spent hours poring over horrific crime scenes, examining all the facts until they’re burned into his brain.
Admittedly, the killers seem to be mostly indiscriminate in who they take, meaning the chances of it being TK are slim.
But there’s still a chance.
*
a before, during, and after of tk's kidnapping in a hole where your memory goes
day twenty-one: lately you've been searching for a darker place to hide for @freddieholic
“Can I ask you something else?”
TK stiffens at the sound of Mateo’s voice, a nervous note to it that wasn’t there last time. Something tells him he knows exactly what Mateo wants to ask; still, he turns to lean against the counter, crossing his arms as casually as he can manage. “Sure.”
“Are you…” Mateo trails off, biting his lip and avoiding TK’s gaze. “I mean, do you… I mean—”
“You can say it, you know,” he interrupts, not unkindly. “If you want to know if I’m thinking about heading out and getting high, then just ask.”
*
five times tk turns to unhealthy coping mechanisms when he wants to use + one time he finally asks for help
day twenty-two: know me crazy, soothe me daily for anon
It had freaked Carlos out the first time it happened.
“It was a seizure,” TK explained, after Carlos had finished telling him about it. TK had been disoriented and confused for about ten minutes after, and couldn’t even remember half of their earlier conversation. “I… It’s because of the drugs. They fucked something up in my brain, especially after my first overdose, and now I get seizures occasionally."
*
in which carlos gets a little over-protective and tk is mildly exasperated
day twenty-three: lover, be good to me for anon
Carlos holds his arms out, and TK comes willingly, setting what Carlos now recognises as a tray of food carefully on the bed. “What’s this?”
TK stares as if it’s obvious. “Date night.”
“What?”
TK pauses, then gasps. “You’re right.” He pats himself down frantically, then pulls an object out of his pocket with a dramatic flourish. It’s a little electric tea light—real candles long since banned from the bedroom—and Carlos watches in bemusement as TK flicks it on and sets it down on the tray. “Now it’s date night.”
*
his fiancé being bed-bound isn't going to keep tk from date night
day twenty-four: bring you in from the cold for anon
As a cop, Carlos has always been uncomfortably aware of his own mortality. He’s considered his own death more than is probably healthy, but when you’re facing down the barrel of a gun almost every single day, it’s kind of forced on you.
He’s imagined himself being shot, stabbed, strangled, and everything in between.
But he’s not sure he ever pictured dying in a walk-in freezer after getting trapped there by mistake.
day twenty-five: heaving through corrupted lungs for anon
TK is itching to go home and check on Carlos, to make sure he’s still breathing and actually resting like he’s supposed to be. On the other hand, Carlos would probably kill him if he left work, illness be damned. It’s just… Carlos had looked so ill that morning, skin ashen and voice all but gone, and it had taken a lot of convincing for TK to still go to his own shift. He’d insisted on making sure Carlos had all the blankets and water and snacks and anything else he could possibly want, but even so, he’s still uneasy.
His gut is telling him that something’s wrong, and TK doesn’t think he can ignore it for much longer.
*
when carlos falls ill, they think it's just a bad cold. but when tk goes to check on him, he's in for a nasty shock.
day twenty-six: slowly becoming lovers for @pragmaticoptimist34
Things don’t get fixed overnight. They agree to give them a shot, but that doesn’t change the fact that TK is still reeling from his break-up and overdose, nor that Carlos is still hesitant and afraid of pushing too hard at once.
But, slowly, they get to know each other. And, slowly, they start to fall in love.
*
tk and carlos, getting to know each other and falling in love
day twenty-seven: and curse the gods for @girlwhowasntthere
Jason knows what it is to be cursed.
day twenty-eight: ignoring every warning for @moviegeek03
TK is fine.
He is absolutely, 100% fine.
And, sure, maybe he’s not supposed to be at work right now, and maybe his hand hasn’t fully healed yet, but it’s nothing. His doctor cleared him to go back to work, which means it’s healed enough, and TK is certainly not going to admit defeat no matter how much he's hurting.
day twenty-nine: can you beat back the night? for @girlwhowasntthere
He misses the bard. Geralt won’t admit it, not even to Roach, but he misses him. After months—years—of Jaskier’s constant chatter and the sound of his lute, the silence, once valued above all else, is too much.
It’s been months since the dragon, since Geralt lost both Yennefer and Jaskier in one fell swoop. He’s cursed himself many times over for the words he said—to both of them—and cursed himself more for the mistakes he made to get in this position in the first place.
*
this is the lot of witchers, to be alone.
day thirty: ease my mind for @silvarafael
Briefly, Carlos considers calling TK and telling him about the accident. But… He only broke two of his fingers and it barely even classifies as a minor injury in his book, so there’s really no reason to bother his fiancé while he’s still on shift himself. He pockets his phone then looks around to figure out where the exit is.
Only, an all-too familiar laugh distracts him from his task, drawing his attention to the nurses station.
Where TK is standing, smiling as a nurse swats at him for stealing one of their lollipops.
Carlos is, beyond doubt, fucked.
day thirty-one: scars turn to memories for anon
Their front door is open. It’s wide open, and the wood of the door frame is broken, splinters littering the driveway and the floor of the front room. TK’s heart stops in his chest as he surveys the scene, his brain going blank, struggling to comprehend what he’s seeing.
Everything is quiet in the front room, not even a table setting out of place. TK creeps further into their home, his every nerve on edge as he barely breathes for fear of alerting whoever’s here of his presence.
And then, he remembers.
Carlos was off shift tonight. He was here. Alone.
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HSMTMTS 2x05 Review
The Quinceañero was a truly historic ep featuring the first time two boys have ever kissed on a Disney show. Let’s dig in!
We got the second same-sex kiss in Disney history tonight, Big Shot had the first last Friday, and the first kiss between two boys in Disney history. It’s a huge step forward. That’s not to say that Disney is going to start approving more same-sex kisses or lgbtq relationships or characters but the door is now open and at least some other shows and movies will be able to eventually follow in HSMTMTS steps.
Really nice cover of The Climb, Joe has such a great voice. It was cute that young Seb had watched young Carlos’ dance vid and felt inspired. Frankie and Joe being an irl couple certainly helps give Seblos a good rapport but it also helps that creator and showrunner Tim Federle is an openly gay man himself. I think if a straight man was showrunner we probably wouldn’t get such dedication to Seblos as a couple.
It was a really funny ep too: Carlos saying his love language is riddles, Ricky asking Nini who they talk to when doing their confessionals, Carlos saying Miss Jenn was a master of smoke and mirrors, Benjamin Mazzara and Mike Bowen interacting. My personal favourite gags were when Big Red said he always wanted a nickname and Kourtney immediately did an office stare and when Nini said Picasso was a terrible person.
Gina still going through it. Kourtney is right that it doesn’t really make sense that Gina is now going to all this trouble for Carlos but to be honest the writing and pacing has been disjointed so far this season so a lot of things aren’t flowing as well as they need to. Is what Gina regrets convincing Ricky to go back on stage as that helped get Rini back together? That’s petty but fair and also true to teenage emotions (though she shouldn’t beat herself up too much, Rini were clearly on the path to getting back together by that point anyway).
Jesus Christ, Ricky needs to read the room. Last ep he correctly realized that Gina wouldn’t want to hear about his Nini issues and tried to stop Big Red from mentioning them but now he’s just doing it himself? Obviously they’re trying to drill in the fact that for now Rina is one sided but it’s a little much. Also really doesn’t make sense that Ricky wouldn’t go to Kourtney or Big Red for this kind of advice.
Sofia Wylie was killing it this ep, both her and Joe are showstoppers. A Dancer’s Heart was great and she did a good job of acting on the verge of tears almost the entire ep
At least EJ actually thought to ask Gina how she’s feeling though and she clearly appreciated it after she got over her shock. It does seem that reports of Portwell’s demise were greatly exaggerated, with the music and the longing stares they’re setting up for at least EJ to have a crush on Gina. Hell even Mazzara picked up on it at the end. I had noted last week that it seemed like Gina’s story line in S2 was being thrown out of balance by the writers dropping a planned Portwell plot and sure enough this week we actually begin to see Gina’s story arc not being entirely her pining over Ricky.
EJ also benefits by being given something to do instead of just standing around in the back. I’m glad he took Mazzara up on the AV club offer and they have a nice mentor-mentee relationship going on. It’s also a nice little parallel with 1x05 when Gina told off EJ and had a moment with Ricky and now in 2x05 Gina tells off Ricky and has a moment with EJ.
Matt seemingly dismissed Portwell as a friendship rather than even hinting at something between them. I guess he could have been told to keep it under wraps as much as possible but odd that they wouldn’t hype it a bit; it’s not like this came completely out of left field, people were wondering if Portwell might happen because of the moment they had in 1x10 and the facetime call they had before S2. Sofia has already said that Gina will have love interests this season and EJ being one, even if it’s brief, would make whole lot of sense since there’s really no one else for except Jack who only shows up much later and doesn’t seem to be in more than an ep or two.
Rini was sweet tonight. Yes Ricky is being clingy which stems in large part from his mom’s abandonment and in fairness Ricky and Nini have probably been used to spending much of their time with each other since they were kids. Loved that ‘I think you kinda you know’’ call back tonight. Looks like Nini will be cast as the Rose which should be interesting.
Miss Jenn is pulling Mike Bowen, Ben Mazzara, and Zach Roy. Good for her! Jike shippers certainly feasted tonight as Mike crashed a teen bday party just to see Miss Jenn and we got confirmation that everyone’s fave Disney Dilf was born in the 70s and must be no older than 51.
Well gotta love Lily’s commitment to bringing down East High and drinking scalding hot black coffee. She really seems like she just stepped off the set of Glee
Really hope we see those puppies and man was that wolf adorable
Not both HSMTMTS and Love Victor both making Okay Boomer jokes (it worked when Pilar said it to Felix but not when Ricky said it to his dad)
Big Red exposing Kourtney and Howie was good and it looks like their plot kicks into high gear next ep
Bet Tim thought he was real clever for that shot of Mazzara, Mike, and Miss Jenn in a triangle
A well shot ep except for one weird and abrupt cut from Mazzara saying Caswell to Seblos outside the barn
Looking Ahead:
EJ stopping Gina from leaving would certainly further their relationship and would parallel him being the one to bring her back in S1. I still don’t get why they didn’t just use the Valentine’s chocolates as a plot device to further this plot; just have EJ secretly send them as he was also lonely and you can still have Gina think they were from Ricky.
From what I’ve seen online this Portwell hint has been controversial. It’s true that there’s an age gap between the characters of 2ish years and a much bigger one between the actors but I don’t think that will stop Tim as he already had EJ date Nini. I’ve also seen comments that it would be a bad idea since EJ is leaving at the end of S2 once he graduates but he’s not actually leaving, they’ll keep him around in some fashion until the current juniors graduate.
So far it seems like Rini is the Rucas of hsmtmts, Rina is the Lucaya, and Portwell is the Joshaya.
Kowie starts progressing a bit next ep and we may possible see Antoine next week or the week after according to Larry.
Presumably Ricky’s clinginess starts causing trouble between him and Nini.
Still so funny that North High just up and decided to do Beauty and the Beast just to bring down East High.
Until next week wildcats
#HSMTMTS#Seblos#Rini#Portwell#seb matthew smith#Carlos Rodriguez#Gina Porter#EJ Caswell#Ricky Bowen#HSMTMTS Reviews
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