#i usually keep my phone in dark mode
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cocotome · 1 year ago
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Cael December 2023 calendar wallpaper~
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gothluke · 2 years ago
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creds to this post
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lottaham · 13 days ago
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Goood morning…. I’m so tired not even my standard depression-tired just poor-sleep-tired which somehow is worse
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inkdrinkerworld · 8 months ago
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post!prison Spencer realizing you’re not always sunshiny and happy when one day he spots you crying in the hall before wiping your eyes and walking into the bullpen with your usual megawatt smile like you hadn’t been balling your eyes out five minutes before
It’s a call with your brother that really gets you started.
Spencer watches you take the phone call that starts off pleasant, you’re all smiles and then you frown, dark and full of an anger Spencer hasn’t ever seen on you.
He knows humans are capable of all emotional spectrums but it’s so foreign on your face and in your body language that he’s shocked a little still.
You walk to a secluded part of the office, hushed, rushed, heated words that Spencer feels horrible for straining his ear to listen to but it’s a strange sight.
He’s never seen you like this.
“How is that my fault? I can’t drop everything and take a plane over there every time shit hits the fan. They’re big kids now.”
What’s worse is your voice cracks and he wants desperately to rush to you, comfort you but he forces himself to stay where he is.
He strains his ear and hears you whisper,
“I’m not doing this again. I can’t be that person anymore. They’re 20, I can’t move back home just to baby them again. I’m not going to be walked all over by them anymore.”
You’re not together, you’re just friends- not super close but closer than anyone else on the team. Spencer feels like he should be comforting you when he moves to the kitchen and watches the first tear tumble down your cheek.
“Hey have you seen, Y/N?” Emily asks and Spencer turns his body to block you from view.
“She went to the bathroom, do we have a case?” He asks, stirring a pound of sugar into his coffee.
“Yeah, when she comes out tell her meet us at the jet.” She hands off a file to him and Spencer glances through the pages quickly.
Spencer watches you compose yourself, swiping at your face, fixing your hair and rolling your shoulders back.
Then he watches almost sadly, as you plaster a smile back on your face.
“Hey, Spence. Where’s everybody?” You open the fridge like you usually do and reach for the canister of whipped cream you keep tucked away.
“We have a case,” Spencer watches you shake it and spray some into your palm, connecting the dots over the many times he’s seen you do that in the last couple of months.
You’d always said it was just a, ‘pick me up’ and Spencer hadn’t thought twice about. You all have little things you do to keep you going in the job, but he realises now it’s less to do with work and more to do with your upset.
“Oh shit,” you spray another heap of cream in your palm. “I’ll get my go bag, can you fill me in while we walk, Spence?” You’re already turning to your desk, fiddling about the last draw for your go bag.
Your eyes are still a little red, and he watches you switch your contacts for glasses as soon as you get hold of the bag. “They burn a little right now,” you supply when you catch him looking and he nods like he doesn’t know the truth.
“Alright, let’s go,” he opens the case file Emily handed to him and starts, “So the unsub seems to be a woman hater? I’m not sure how no one figured him out before this is his sixth victim.”
You frown as you tuck your go-bag over your shoulder, “And the geography is all the same? No crossing state lines?”
Spencer admires how easily you slip back into work mode, but as soon as the case is over he needs to find a way to have you talk to him.
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blkkizzat · 6 months ago
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❛ MY SHORTY ALWAYS ON SOME BULLSHIT LIKE CHICAGO ❜
PART 2
part of the 420 'We Be Burnin' series
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⋙ MENU ITEM: PLUG!CHOSO x SORORITYBRAT!READER ⋙ PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 (completed)
⋙ product description (summary): okay so you finally realized how badly you fucked up. but is it too late? will choso even talk to you now? has he moved on for good or is it that you now have to worry about someone else moving onto him? ⋙ side effects (tw): more drama. more angst. teasing. jealousy. thirsting. mentions of sex and oral sex. intoxication with drug & alcohol use. sending nudes. y/n is still a brat. bitchy sorority sisters. party culture. ⋙ thc levels (wc): 8.2k of 22.1k ⋙ inventory notes (a/n): best viewed in dark mode. i appreciate y'all liking this sm hope you don't mind i split this up more, but the second part was getting too unruly in length lol
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Plug!Choso who you thought forgetting about would be relatively easy. Overwhelmed with the sheer amount of new presidential duties, you had no shortage of various meetings to keep you occupied. Even so, Choso had a way of popping into your mind as the most routine things would remind you of him. 
You couldn’t go get a fresh set of nails without expecting to see his tinted blacked-out sedan parked outside waiting for you. Scrolling socials had also become annoying as you’d see a post and immediately want to send it to Choso— your sorority sisters would think you were gross if you sent them mukbang videos. You couldn’t even bake anything anymore, especially anything chocolate, without reminding yourself of how much Yuji hated nuts in his chocolate chip cookies. 
Or even now when you had been walking across campus with your sisters and chatting about the massive proposal plan of next year’s sorority activities. A daunting task on its own which you had to submit to your national chapter by the end of the month. In fact, there were a lot of tedious things you realized you’d now be responsible for as president. 
However, all of that flew out of your mind when a car sped by blasting a familiar rock song— one that Choso always played. 
Stopping in your tracks you whipped your head around but the music was coming from a completely different car. The disappointment in your chest felt like you were suffocating.
The song was the first one from Choso’s ‘stoner emo boy playlist’ that you’d actually admitted you liked so he made sure to play it whenever you came around. You didn’t think you were official enough to have a song, but it felt like you did when you’d heard it just now. 
Although what pained you more in the moment was the fact Choso hadn’t even bothered to text you since the day of the brunch. Your pride and guilt kept you from texting him initially but after the first week you caved and did what you once thought was unthinkable— texting a guy first. 
You’d thought he’d answer instantly, happy you’d finally forgiven him for nearly ruining your brunch and you did want to apologize for missing Yuji’s game. But when 20 minutes turned into an hour and an hour turned into the entire day you realized he was ignoring you.
Choso was a dealer. 
He always had his phone on him. In fact, Choso used to respond to you so fast you wondered if he’d always kept your messages up on his screen.
The seriousness hits home when more of your texts go unanswered as the days go by. 
You huffed. 
Two weeks had passed since you first reached out and apparently Choso was still giving you the cold shoulder. Unconsciously chewing on your manicured french tips, your intrusive thoughts paint the absolute worst scenarios. 
This was around the time of day he’d usually be on campus and you’d meet up in the empty garage. 
Would he be there now doing another deal? 
Or giving ‘discounts’ to another girl?
You shook your head. Choso wasn’t like that. 
You knew he wasn’t.
Then again he had stuffed your guts in less than 10 minutes of knowing each other.
But you were the exception right? Choso wouldn’t move on just like that, would he? 
Rejection wasn’t something you had dealt with often in your life or well, ever. 
You’d gotten everything you wanted since you were little whether it was something you worked for or something given to you. 
So what if you didn’t have Choso?
You should be content with life. 
You had everything you’d ever wanted right now. 
You were pretty, got damn near perfect grades and now had the title of sorority president for fuckssake! 
Meeting someone like Choso was never part of your plans and didn’t fit into them either, so you had never really considered what the both of you were to be anything long-term. 
Nor did you ever stop to consider what he thought of your relationship. 
You thought he’d lick his wounds for a few days and forgive you. However with each passing day the thought he might really be done with you sinks in more and more.
Regardless of the legion of frat guys who would jump at the chance to date you, the only guy you really wanted right now apparently wanted fuck all to do with you. 
Ok so maybe you deserve the silent treatment. 
A lot. 
You never been that big of a bitch to him before. But you really had panicked when he showed up out of the blue with your parents on the way! Also if he didn’t go and threaten the DJ like he did???
You sighed. 
No, even under more peaceful circumstances the end result was you weren’t going to leave to go to Yuji’s game. You couldn’t blame him for being furious with you as you knew how protective he was of his younger brother but you at least wish he’d hear you out.
Just for one last time and maybe you could make it up to Yuji too? 
Get him a nice gift for missing his little league game and bake him chocolate chip cookies—without the nuts. You wanted to hear him adorably ramble on which would always be accompanied by animated hand movements while he gave you the rundown. Yuji often roped in Choso as well, who would be all too happy to play whatever role or prop Yuji needed him for. 
Their identical grins, goofy and filled with joy never failed to put a smile on your face. A smile which came easy as there was never any demands put on you when you were with them. No pretending for the sake of appearances, no worrying about social standing and no expectations for favors. 
With them you were just you and they had accepted you.
But had you accepted them? 
Shit. 
Yeah you had fucked up big. 
You knew you needed to talk to Choso and if you weren’t all but certain Choso would slam the door in your face, you’d have half a mind to go pop up at his house. 
Although maybe if Yuji ans—
“—Like HELLO!? Earth to Prez!”
Your train of thought abruptly comes to an end when one of your sorority sisters—Brianna—rudely snaps their fingers in your face. 
Bitch. 
She’d been bitter ever since she’d lost the presidency to you. 
Elections were over so you didn't have to worry about staying on everyone's good side like you had been doing for the last 3 years of being super sweet and non confrontational. Even so, snatching up a fellow sister certainly wouldn’t make a good impression for a newly appointed president.
“What IS it Brie!?” 
Turning to face her you had no choice but to keep your cool.
“Don’t give me attitude! You’re the one not paying attention, space case.”  
Brianna huffed accusingly. 
“Yeah, Brie’s kinda right Prez, you’ve been a little bit distracted lately.” 
Another one of your sisters chimed in—immediately looking down when your eyes narrowed on her.
“Don't tell me the pressure is already getting to ‘Little Miss Legacy'? Or—”
Brianna flips her hair with a sly smile before continuing.
“—is it just that you miss your burnout stalker boy?” 
“E-Excuse me!?”
Extremely disarmed by the allegation, you were not expecting in a million years the very person you were thinking of to be brought up like this by Brianna of all people. 
“You know—you’ve been acting off since the brunch a few weeks ago and we used to be practically swimming in za—way more o’s than we paid for. You must have been doing something to get all that from that future convict and he must be pretty pissed with you if you haven’t been able to get anymore since.”
The rest of your sisters were gagged at the accusations Brianna was tossing your way as it was true that your supply had been dwindling. Their eyes darted between the two of you but mostly focused on you waiting for your response. 
You ignore them though as all your ire was on Brianna.
This whore had some fucking nerve speaking about Choso like that. 
The thought of knocking the smug look off Brianna’s face is almost too tempting —presidency be damned. 
Yet your own guilt stops you.
Too little, much too late for you to be standing up for Choso now the way you had dismissed him so harshly in front of Brianna and the rest of your sisters just a few weeks ago. You could only be mad at yourself, your own actions showed them how to treat Choso.
That didn’t mean you were going to let her get away with it without a proper lashing though. 
“Listen—Brie, Little Miss Legacy is busy juggling the presidency, a 3.8 gpa, volunteer work and planning every goddamn sorority event worth attending. As for you? Well I heard you’d been pretty busy these days juggling your creepy ass T.A. Noaya’s balls because you were going to fail Biology again for the third time—so do you really want to talk about pressure or whose fucking whom for what?”
Standing up for yourself wasn’t something you ever did in an effort to be likable and so Briana, as well as the rest of your sisters, were stunned into silence. 
Even if her fucking for grades had been no secret, it wasn’t something anyone talked about out loud and yet you’d gladly air her out again for insulting Choso.
“Urgh, whatever! Anyways while you were daydreaming we were planning Jeremy's birthday party on Saturday.”
You rolled your eyes at the inattention to some random frat guy’s bday being the reason for this whole confrontation.  
“Oookay and—?”
“—and we need you to get some more za from your stalk— er um, I mean your plug...” 
Brianna quickly corrects herself seeing your eyes flare.  
“Jermey wants a joint filled pinata and we don’t have nearly enough right now to roll all those joints.”
You suck your teeth in annoyance. 
Of course it all had to come back around to Choso.
“I’m not talking to him right now. We’ll find someone else.” 
Well it was half true, more like he wasn’t talking to you. 
You tried not to pout and completely give yourself away at how much it really was affecting you.
“Well start again, Prez! You know his stuff is the best!”
“We already promised everyone we’d have it!” 
“Please Prez!”
The rest of your sorority sisters chimed in.  
“Yeah Prez it shouldn’t be a problem. Send him an ass pic or something, I bet he would respond to that.” 
The rest of your sisters giggled in agreement. 
Little did they know you had already sent Choso nudes 8 days ago, which when you checked Snap last just 10 minutes ago he still hadn’t opened yet. 
You’d die before admitting that though.
“Fine. I’ll figure it out.” 
“Knew you would Prez!” 
Brianna tossed you a fake smile as she turned around and your sisters followed suit walking back towards the sorority house. The chatter now moves on to drink options as the previous conversation is instantly forgotten. 
You still flip the bitch off behind her back though before you catch up to join the conversation lest these dumb bitches skimp out on drinks for more decorations and have you all drinking Monarch vodka again—gross, much more so than a mukbang video.
Plug!Choso who later that night has you laying on your bed staring at your phone suspended over you, your finger hovering over the send button. 
What if he ignored you this time too? 
Worse—what if he had finally blocked you?
Well all your messages had gone through so far even though his read receipts were off. 
Choso hadn’t blocked you yet. 
Only two days had passed since you last texted him but scrolling through your history the wall of blue taking over the entire screen had you feeling vexed.
Hadn’t Choso punished you enough? 
Biting your lip in apprehension you hit send. 
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You almost dropped your phone on your face. Sitting up in your bed you stare at his text incredulously as the sticker shock of Choso jacking up the price by $150 hits you.
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You deserved that, you supposed. 
But fuck you knew you’d have to come up out of pocket yourself for the extra and you couldn’t admit to your sisters why the price had gone up so much again.
At least he was answering you though. 
You threw your phone across your bed. 
Well that went super. 
You’d hope you’d have the chance to talk about things while he was responding to you, maybe get him to video call you? You knew he still wouldn’t be thrilled with you but you didn’t expect his responses to be that short once he finally answered. 
Choso always over texted you if anything, sending paragraphs at times so these clipped messages were like tiny daggers pricking you with each one you received.  
You didn’t think you could handle him being mean to you like this for much longer. 
Getting a taste of your own medicine fucking sucked.
With a sigh you had decided to push it to the back of your mind. It was Tuesday and he wasn’t even coming until Friday.
That’s when you realized Choso implied he was coming to you. 
As in your sorority house. 
On Friday. 
The night of the Barbie’s Dreamhouse Kegger. 
Goddamnit.
Plug!Choso who shows up to your sorority house on Friday night just before midnight when the kegger is at its peak. Choso doesn’t give a single fuck this time around that he sticks out like a sore thumb with his dark tattered jeans, matching leather jacket, heavy eyeliner and metal piercings amongst all the colorful and peppy pastel attired party-goers. 
Choso waltzes right through the front door like he owns the place.
“Oh! It's you! Finally!” 
Flipping her hair behind her to show off her ample cleavage, your sorority sister Brianna bounces over to Choso who continues to look past her as his eyes scan the foyer.
To be honest he wasn’t even sure she was talking to him until she mentioned you.
“You’re the plug, right? Choso? Here for Prez, hmm?” 
Brianna appraised Choso with a flirty glance and a smile. 
“I’m Brianna, but everyone calls me Brie. She’s outside with her boys! I’ll take you there, kay?”
Her boys?
Brianna batts her eyes sweetly to complement her peppy demeanor. 
Choso simply nods, appearing unphased as Brianna grabs him by the arm of his jacket to lead him through the sea of people crowding the hall and out to the backyard. The very same backyard where you had rejected and humiliated him to save your own superficial social standing just a few weeks ago. 
Of course he hadn’t forgotten. 
Choso noted this time though the expansive yard had a completely different vibe from the pretentious scene he’d walked into before. The backyard was now filled with pink inflatable decorations and rose gold plastered party supplies, trading the expensive crystal for matching pink solo cups and decorative flower displays for shotskis. 
Yet Choso’s comparisons end once he finally spots you in the crowd. 
Playing beer pong with some frat fucks, carefree like you had zero concerns (or thoughts of him) in the world as you taunted your opponents. 
Choso’s eyes narrow when you—clad in a scandalously small pink sparkly tube top—brought a dainty manicured nail to your chest and seductively dragged it down your cleavage to tug at the hem of the fabric. The tops of your tits swell over the edge of the material provocatively as you tease the chance they might altogether spill out onto the table if you pulled any lower.
The plan worked and your opponents thoroughly distracted missed their shots much to your amused squeals and Choso’s growing irritation. His brow twitched as he noticed the rest of your outfit which barely provided any more coverage. 
The matching mini skirt you wore rested low enough on your curvy hips to show the very edges of your thong but high enough on your thighs that your cheeks were nearly peeking out just from the slight bend you took as you aimed to take your next shot. Your pink jeweled belly ring (that he’d bought you) and gem adorned nude fishnets lead down to chunky hot pink glitter pumps only calling more attention to your lower half as they were illuminated by the outdoor tiki lights.
Why were you dressed like such a slut and letting those greasy shitheads drool all over you? 
Your beer pong partner was clearly exaggerating his drunkenness for an excuse to feel you up as his hand rested dangerously close to the top of your ass as you took your next shot. 
Were you that clueless?
Choso’s jaw clenches as you allow yourself to be pulled in by the shoulder tits first into a celebratory hug after landing a cup off a bounce, thus removing two. The way you’d casually let those assholes gawk and grab at you when you wouldn’t even make eye contact with him in public pisses him off like none other and reminds him why he had decided to cut you off after all.
This time though Choso doesn’t march over, masking his resentment with nonchalance as he considers leaving altogether. 
Sure he needed the money—but it wouldn’t make or break him in the long run. 
Keeping the big picture in mind, Choso had Yuji to think of and he couldn’t afford to catch a case over your slutty ass if he actually gave into the urge to knock some random frat fucker’s teeth out.
Yet Choso switches his attention back to Brianna when she returns with a beer filled cup for him and her sheer top unbuttoned even lower. 
Oh? 
Choso grins. 
Plug!Choso who you finally notice standing near the back door of your sorority house next to—Brianna?!…urgh! 
Her obnoxious high-pitched laughter loudly cut through the music and party chatter to draw your attention over. 
What the hell was Choso even doing with her?! 
You grit your teeth as Choso takes the drink. You watch as he reclines against the house and cheers cups together. Brianna is twirling her hair innocently as she flirts with him, giggling like an idiot. 
One without an ounce of shame at that. 
You seethe as she clutches onto his bicep pulling herself closer and resting her tits on his arm when she pretends to momentarily lose her balance. 
Stupid cunt ass bitch. 
You know it's just to spite you too. 
Of course Brianna still didn’t know of the true nature of your relationship with Choso for certain but a backstabbing whore like her would try to fuck him solely off an inkling. 
If anything just so she could say your ‘stalker’ was now hers.
She was just using him! Did Choso not see that?! 
Your beer pong partner slides his arm around you to tell you it’s your turn again but you don’t even spare him a backwards glance as you shrug him off. Abandoning the game and ignoring his puzzled calls after you. 
Truthfully it doesn’t even register as you are on your warpath with Choso and Brianna in your sights, stomping directly towards them like you were on a mission. You were too, as far as you were concerned, determined to break that shit up expeditiously. 
Especially now as you see Brianna airdropping her contact info to Choso.
Stopping directly in front of them you’re far too tipsy to prevent your souring mood from spreading all over your face when they both seem to not notice you right away.  
You loudly clear your throat.
“AHEM!”
Staring at Choso expectantly your lip curls when it's Brianna who greets you first instead.
“Oh Prez, my B girly! We didn’t notice you there!” 
“Whatever, Brie.”
You sneer at her. 
Although Brianna only giggles again, feigning innocence and leaning into Choso a bit more. 
The whore was still touching up on him.
“I was just keeping Cho here company until we found you.”
Bullshit, they were searching fo– Hol’ the fuck up—CHO?! 
Did this whore just call him Cho?! 
That was your fucking nickname for him! Only you and Yuji were allowed to call him that!
Oh Brianna was just begging for that ass whooping, dying for it even. 
Swaying on your feet, your buzz only intensifies your anger and folding your arms in front of you serves two purposes at the moment: 
To keep your balance as you try to prevent your heels from sinking into the grass— but more importantly— because the urge to yank a bitch was escalating to the point your hands were now twitching. 
You had drank way too much in your nervousness waiting for Choso.  
You thought a quick round of beer pong would settle your anxieties as you’d been hanging out near the front door all day and night not knowing when he’d show up. However time had slipped away from you and one game had turned into three. 
You didn’t even really know the guys you were playing with, just some random freshman!
Of course once you finally let your guard down Choso would not only show up but be hanging out with your biggest opp!
But what really had you about to crack—Choso was taking his sweet time in acknowledging you as he appeared to be more concerned with checking Brianna’s contact info than speaking to you right in front of him. “Ight, got it.” 
Choso confirmed and slid his phone back into his jacket before pulling out a joint as he finally made eye contact with you.
THE FUCK!? HE ACTUALLY SAVED IT?! 
Plug!Choso who stares at you with a condescending smirk as his eyes twinkled with sadistic amusement before exhaling smoke towards the sky.
You bite your cheek to hold back your angry tears, you weren’t about to give Brianna the satisfaction. She could fuck right the hell off as far as you were concerned, only wanting to speak to Choso who was currently looking at you like you were the one interrupting something.
“W-Why didn't you text me you were here?! I would have come outside!” 
Your words fumble out of you drunkenly, not sounding one bit as smooth and unbothered as you hoped.
“For why tho? Don’t you have me silenced anyway, Prez?”
You stiffened. 
Even if he wasn’t silenced right now you couldn’t deny you had previously silenced him before the last few weeks of trying to get him to talk to you. 
“Yea figured—so thought it’d be best to come inside…”
Choso exhales smoke through his nose this time, leering down at you as he passes the joint to Brianna who eagerly takes it.
“You really think I’m still tryna wait for you?”
Choso’s words are crushing as the double meaning behind them is not lost on you. Parting your glossed lips you couldn’t even form a sentence as your mouth had gone completely dry.
Brows raised Choso is practically daring you to challenge him. 
But you’re frozen. 
Ironic, because his eyes are all but intensely burning into yours as his accusingly cruel question penetrated you like a hot knife to butter. 
However, bringing you back, Brianna interrupts the moment—because of course she does—not being able to read the damn room nor handle the attention being away from her for 5 fucking seconds.
“You know Prez… You’re going to be pretty busy with all your responsibilities soon...”
Brianna taps her stiletto shaped nail to her lips in faux contemplation. Her smarmy expression gives away her true intentions resembling every bit of the evil bitch she is. 
“...Annnnnd it won’t look good for our lovely new president to put herself at risk by getting us drugs, right? Sooooo, I was telling Cho here how I’m going to be the one taking over for you now.”
Brianna coyly tucks a few loose strands of her long tawny locks behind her ear. 
“Who knows? I might be able to get a better discount than you too.”
Passing the blunt back to Choso she winks at him. Choso merely chuckles, shaking his head at the implications before taking another hit.
And yeah that’s what fucking did it alright.
More than ready to give Brianna exactly what the fuck she’d been asking for you wordlessly lunge forward to snatch her up by those raggedy ass microlink extensions she couldn’t stop touching.
However your trajectory is thrown when you feel Choso grab you by your wrist. Pulling you in towards him, the action confused both you and Brianna—who didn’t know how close she was to actually kissing dirt.
Choso passes the joint back to Brianna, telling her to keep it as a ‘sample’ he turns his attention back towards you.
“Come on Prez, I got places to be. Get me my money now before I charge your ass the full stack.”
You both leave Brianna standing there dumbfounded as Choso drags you back into the house. 
Plug!Choso guides you through the crowd of your sisters that are all now much too drunk and self-involved in their own good time to care about the pierced n’ scary dark haired man towing their president behind him. 
Reaching the staircase Choso motions for you to go ahead of him and you nod dumbly as you obediently climb the stairs trying not to trip. 
Urging you along, Choso is right on your tail— quite literally, as he tries to simultaneously avoid staring at your ass cheeks jiggling out from under your skirt—but more importantly tries to keep any other wandering eyes below from getting a peek as well. 
Choso places a hand on your waist, both to keep you from falling and to move you along quicker. Warm tingles radiate out from where his hands touch your bare skin yet he instantly releases you once you reach the top.
You can’t help but to pout at the loss of contact.
“Which one?”
Choso still feels all business though as he walks ahead of you like he can’t wait to wrap this up and get you the fuck out of his life again.
Plug!Choso who you usher into your room before closing the door. The party seems distant as only the faint sounds of the base bumping against the walls reach the sanctuary of your room. Still holding the knob you’re leaning with your back against the doorframe as your body is still pumping insane amounts of adrenaline through you. 
Nearly fighting Brianna, Choso finally touching you, on top of being drunk had your mind going into overdrive especially since it seemed like Choso would leave as soon as the deal was over.
Would he really take the money and go just like that?
Choso’s face is unreadable as he strolls deeper into your room and casually looks around. You had always come over to his place and he would have never in a million years dreamed of being able to see your room in your actual sorority house. 
It was so you though. 
Tidy and adorned in your favorite colors, your walls are decorated with pictures of celebrities, friends and various moodboards. Not to mention it smelled like you. The scent of your sugary perfume with notes of vanilla and saffron assaulted Choso's senses making it seem a bit warmer in the room than it actually was.
“Yo Prez, the money.” 
His patience for the situation is dwindling. He has to get out and fast. 
Choso doesn’t know what he’ll do if he doesn’t leave soon.
Yet you were plotting the exact opposite and you couldn’t let him leave so easily now that you finally had him alone after all this time. 
Armed with a plan you nod as you scoot by him and over to your vanity to retrieve the cash. Acting clueless as to which drawer you put it in, you search them all as you bend over to check one of the drawers at the very bottom. 
Choso swallows hard.
Your ass–with plenty of curves to spare–is on display for him as well as your sheer pink thong that teasingly pokes out between your crystal studded fishnets. 
You had to be doing this on purpose. 
Swishing side to side your skirt raises up a bit higher with every shift of your hips while your thong strains tighter across the print of your fat pussy lips threatening to snap altogether.
Akin to a seductive pendulum as you sway before Choso completely entrancing him. 
Only you could ever affect him in this way.
After what feels like years do you finally locate the money, a sizable stack of cash composed of 20 dollar bills.
“Found it! In the top drawer all along, imagine that!”
Smirking you plop down in your vanity chair crossing your legs not missing how Choso’s gaze lingered, even if just the tiniest moment, on your thighs.
“Took ya long enough…” 
Choso mumbles. There's no real bite to his words this time though. He’s holding his backpack close to hide his half chub while he removes 3 hefty bags of kush from his backpack to toss on the desk beside you.
Reaching for the cash his annoyance is evident on his face when you jerk away from him. Leaning back and fanning the bills across your chest, you wave them tauntingly in the air.
“Stop playin’ around. Not in the fuckin mood, I swear.”
“Playing?”
You question acting coy.
“This is just business right Choso?”
You sat up as if you were taking this seriously at all and Choso is unamused as he reaches for the money again. 
And you snatch it back yet again like a fucking brat. 
“I’m practically dropping a stack on this–thanks to your new “tax” and all. How do I know if it's any good?”
Clearly your plan is working as you continue to push Choso’s buttons pretending you aren’t excited from him towering over you now.
“Cut the games, Prez. Ya know my shit is always pressure.”
You act contemplative as your eyes lazily travel up his tense muscular form appreciating the view after not seeing him for so long.
“Hmmm, do I though?”
Choso scoffs, growing tired of your games. 
That’s all he ever was to you, a game.
“Like I said, just business. Or are you telling me you weren’t going to count the cash to make sure it's all there before you left?”
Damn. Well you got 'em there. 
Choso rubs the back of his neck before letting out a frustrated sigh.
“Tch—let’s make this quick then, Prez.”
Plug!Choso who after grabbing one of the bags of weed off your vanity takes a seat on your bed. He shrugs off his jacket to retrieve a pipe from the inner pocket and impatiently extends his hand hurrying you with a quick beckoning gesture.
“Gimme your grinder.”
Rolling your eyes you haphazardly toss it over to him. However, unbeknownst to you, the top was loose and crumbles of kush spilled out of it and onto your bed when he failed to catch it.
“Nice looking out Cho, great catch.”
Even though the poor throw and loose top had been your fault, the fact he apparently couldn’t wait to fucking leave along with you still pissed with how he flirted with Brianna makes you lash out. 
“You fucking serious right now? I’m always lookin’ out for your ungrateful ass.”
Obnoxiously you huff, crossing your arms and turning your head away from him.
Ungrateful? For what!? 
He hadn’t been ‘looking out’ for the last month, he’d been completely ignoring you! 
“Heh, like I didn't just stop you from turning that gouda chick into actual cheese from the way you went at her?”
You press your lips together firmly to keep from cracking a smile at his play on Brianna’s nickname. You’re honestly still salty he had even been around her at all getting so chummy. He’d always talked about how stupid your sorority sisters were, it didn’t make sense why he let her flirt with him like that.
You’re also mad he didn’t at least let you pop her one good time.
“The bitches name is Brie. You should know, you were ‘oh so concerned’ about saving her number and giving her a discount.”
Choso looks at you like you’re an idiot as he shakes his head. He stops packing the bowl to throw you his phone.
“Whose number?”
Frowning, you already know the passcode so you unlock it right away. 
Sure enough there was no Brie nor Brianna in his contact lists. Not even her number showed up when you searched his phone for it in case it was under a completely different alias. 
He’d never even saved it. 
The smug smirk on Choso’s face tells you he knew what she was doing all along and got you all riled up on purpose.
In fact, Choso had recognized Brianna’s ploy immediately. You had previously mentioned something about an annoying n’ bitchy rival. 
Besides, there was no other plausible reason for a dumb sorority bitch like her to be talking to him at all—much less throwing herself at him so aggressively.
“Doesn’t feel good now does it, Prez?”
Your face is on fire and you turn away from Choso totally humiliated. You had played right into his hands.
“Hmph! Don’t get cocky, I wanted a reason to beat her ass anyway.”
You puff your cheeks into a pout that Choso can’t help but to chuckle at, shaking his head at you again. 
You were a huge brat that's for damn sure.
“Well, it certainly looks like you found one.”
You’re quiet finally as you rake over his words in your mind. 
‘I’ve always been looking out for you.’
Not only did he not save Brianna’s number there’s a high probability he just kept you from being kicked out of the entire sorority and maybe school too. Fighting was a huge no-no and you could have gotten expelled. Apparently jealous with rage you were ready to risk it all at that moment without even thinking of the consequences. 
Fuck.
Choso had in fact still been looking out for you—even when you didn’t deserve it. 
Plug!Choso who accepts your silence is a sign of your defeat and after a few minutes you move from your desk to sit next to him on your bed as he finishes grinding and packing the bowl. 
“Brats get greens this time.”
I’m paying a premium for all this shit, I better get greens. 
But you hold in that thought, not wanting to give him any more lip in the moment as you’re the one left licking your wounds this time.
Like a gentleman Choso holds the bowl for you and lights it as you take a hit. He tries not to notice how well your glossed lips are wrapping around the phallic mouthpiece as searingly thick smoke flows into your lungs. 
Damn, this shit was dank as hell. 
You’re doing your best to hold it in but your lungs are burning as you watch Choso take a hit himself. Not being able to keep in your coughs for a second more you’re left signaling at Choso to ‘wait a sec’ when he holds the pipe out back to you.
Fuck, it was even stronger than what you remembered.
“See Prez? True pressure.”
You shrug at him trying to save face although your eyes are watering, already tinting a bright shade of red.
“Uhh duh, I always cough Choso. I’ll still need a few more hits to know for certain.”
Choso rolls his eyes.
You take another hit—a smaller one this time—before slowly falling back onto your bed.  
Your eyes close as your high settles in and you debate on what to say next without fucking things up even more with your slick ass mouth. 
However your concentration is diminishing quickly as your buzz makes your senses overly aware of Choso’s intense body heat radiating off him, your thighs practically touching. 
The weed swirling together with the alcohol in your system makes you all the more sensitive. Your mind floats away as your gaze is hyper focused on how the lean muscles of Choso’s toned back and broad shoulders ripple under the thin black tee he wears.
God, Choso is so sexy. 
Your legs squeeze together to calm the burning in your core just from the thought. You want nothing more than to drag him down to bed with you and melt into his embrace—but there's an invisible force field around him that you can’t reach. 
You’re almost certain he would recoil from you if you tried now. 
There’s a conversation you needed to have first but you didn’t know how to start it without fucking things up even more. 
The result is an awkward silence that uncomfortably settles in the room as Choso finishes the bowl off himself. 
Never one to smoke too much of his own product he’s only indulging now to temper his mood. 
Choso doesn’t know why he’s still here, all good sense in him telling him to take the money and get the hell out. Yet he knows he’s hoping for something–anything–to show him you’ve changed even though all signs so far tonight have been showing him you haven’t.
You’re still cowering away from any accountability and he is determined not to give you an easy out this time. 
And it’s for that exact reason Choso can’t look over at you right now.
Otherwise he’s sure to see your tiny pink top that had started to roll up exposing the glitter adorned skin of your underboob. Or how your slow exhales cause your soft stomach to dip temptingly showing off the pink crystal belly button ring he gave you. 
The sight of your fishnets brushing against one another out of the corner of his eye alone is enough to know he wouldn’t be able resist grasping onto your supple thighs. God how he would relish the way his fingers would indent into them. He wanted to rip those slutty fishnets right off of you so his head could push your skirt up even further on your hips while he drowned himself in your wet cunt—not even stopping when you would cry from overstimulation.
Plug!Choso, who is thankful his distraction at long last comes in the form of the faded gray blue fabric by your pillow. 
“Yo!..is that my shit?”
Eyes opening wide, you pale upon seeing Choso reach for the crumpled up shirt. Choso unravels the tee to confirm it is in fact his shirt—one of his favorite band tees at that. 
“Oh, is that yours?”
Choso deadpans.
“So you listen to RHCP now?”
“Maybe…” 
You grab it from him and toss it to the side less you break down and confess to him you had slept in it most nights. Not only have you slept in it but you do in fact listen to RHCP now, especially when you workout.
However with this Choso has hit his limit. 
To him you hadn’t changed. 
Could you not even own up to the tiniest of things?
He couldn’t let himself get sucked back into your toxic web, not anymore. The longer he stayed the more likely that was.
“S’all good, Prez. Keep it.”
Choso grabs his jacket.
“Listen, I gotta g–”
“—w-wait!” 
You grab the other end of his jacket. You still find it difficult to find the right words but you had to say something. 
It was now or never.
“W-Wait… ah, at least before you go…l-let me know how Yuji’s game went?”
You meekly ease into the question but see Choso go ridgid at the mention regardless. 
For now he relents and stays seated. Although a few minutes pass before he speaks.
“He won, of course. MVP of the season.”
You smile genuinely at that but Choso isn’t looking at you— too pained by the memories that began to bubble up again like bile in his throat.
“Awe, that's so great! I knew he would! I’m so happy for him.”
Choso grits his teeth as he turns back to you, his anger evident in his entire being as every muscle in him flexes.
“Are you? So that’s how you treat someone you’re happy for? Really?!”
He doesn’t give you the chance to respond.
“Yuji’s a strong kid— much stronger than me. Honestly, I didn’t even think he minded you weren’t there as he was all focus and excitement to play that day—”
You let out a quiet exhale in relief though any consolation you felt was instantly shattered as Choso continued. 
“But when I put him to bed that night. H-He..He’d asked why you weren’t there…He asked if you were gone now like our parents. Yuji wouldn’t believe you’d miss it otherwise.”
Choso struggles to say the last bit and maintain eye contact with you. 
Every moment you gaze into his eyes though was pure torture as you’re racked with even more guilt.
“Choso I–”
“I’m so fuckin’ tired of all your fuckin’ excuses!”
You’re silent. It’s so strange to see him this upset you don’t know what to say.
“I’d ask you if you’d even considered the abandonment issues that kid already carries but you don’t. You don’t fill that fuckin’ superficial lil’ head of yours with anything beyond yourself!”
Finishing what he had to say, Choso gathers up his jacket and backpack, stuffing it full with the stack of cash on the vanity—not even bothering to count it.
Momentarily dumbfounded, you're scrambling from the bed to block his path. 
“C-Come on, Choso! I didn’t want to abandon him or you! I tried to call you and I texted you so much these past few weeks to talk!”
Choso isn’t impressed.
“And not one text actually had the words ‘I’m sorry’ in it. Not that it would have cut it this time.”
You're reduced to silence for the umpteenth time tonight. 
You wreck your brain knowing most of your texts had been focused on baiting him to respond to you but fuck—did you really not even apologize? 
“But I am sorry!”
Choso’s gaze is cold and distant, so foreign in comparison to the warmth you’d taken for granted before.
“Whatever you say, Prez.”
There it is again. You’ve grown to resent the title, the job, everything about it.
“Just stop calling me that, okay?!”
You’re trying hard to fight back the tears that threateningly pool in the corners of your eyes.
“What...Prez? Why, it aint all that they cracked it up to be?”
“N-No… it’s n-not… I actually hate it and I hate being here.”
Your voice is hardly above a whisper as you direct your words towards the ground. You didn't want Choso to see your glassy eyes even if he’d noticed the cracks in your voice. 
Plug!Choso who regards you with skepticism but curiosity nonetheless. So at long last you decided to be honest with both him and yourself aloud for the first time.
But it didn’t mean shit if you wouldn’t do something about it.
“Then quit.”
Choso says to you like it’s the most obvious answer in the world as your head snaps up incredulously.
“H-huh? W-What?!”
“You heard me princess— quit.”
Could you really just quit? 
Truthfully, you had never considered it an option. The expectations put on you by your sorority sisters, your parents and the plans you had made for yourself had all led you to the commitments and responsibilities you had now. 
How could you just let them all down by walking away from it all?  
“Choso— I heard you..b-but I can’t, you don’t understand I–”
“—No, I understand better than you do, princess. You spent so much time with me and Yuji because you hate this sorority bullshit, you can’t stand any of these bitches and now you just agreed to be president of your own goddamn misery!”
Reading you for filth, Choso stares at you expectantly but you avoid his gaze.
Your nails suddenly becoming all the more interesting as you fumble with them.  
“–Ight then.”
Choso doesn’t want to argue with you any longer. 
You’re still full of excuses to his disappointment. If you wanted to be something you weren't that badly, then that was your own prerogative he decided as he brushed past you.
“N-No! P-Please, don’t leave Cho!”
There's clear desperation in your voice. You cling to him, burying your head into the middle of his back as your shaky hands weave their way around his midsection. 
Choso is mid-twist on the doorknob. 
He had all intentions of leaving if you still weren't being honest with yourself about things.
Still does. 
Yet his determination is wavering from your hot tears begin to seep through his shirt and trickle down his spine. The warmth of your body—now flattened against his—causes your pert nipples to poke into his back while your delicate fingers wretchedly grasp onto his taunt abs like a lifeline. 
Like you actually needed him in your life.
Fucking hell, you didn’t play fair at all.
But he couldn’t forgive you just to hurt him again and especially not Yuji.
“Let go.”
“No.”
“I said let go!”
“NO!”
Choso easily pries you off of him, spinning you around as your back slams against the door pinning you in place. His hands encircle your arms and extend out fully so he could put some distance between the two of you. 
He couldn’t think straight when you were all over him. 
Your world is a blur and in your crossfaded state you are left with vertigo at the sudden shift of positions. Both you and Choso are left panting at the intensity of it all.
“You don’t listen to anyone do you?! You just do whatever the fuck you want…”
Choso’s face is red with anger and your eyes—already reddened from your high—take on a deeper shade as you are now openly bawling in front of him.
“Tch, why are you the one crying? This is how you want things, right?!”
You shake your head, unable to communicate beyond your pitiful sobs. 
Choso grows more and more frustrated as the guilt he is feeling battles with his more rational mind prompting him to still be angry with you despite your tears. Back and forth his mind races until it all bubbles over and—
“—You don’t think I know I’m not good enough for you!?”
Your teary eyes widen at the sudden admission. 
Choso even startles himself with his own confession he’d been holding in all this time. 
“But not Yuji...He’s already so much better than me! He’s gonna actually be something one day. He doesn’t deserve to be treated like that.”
Your lip quivers and your pleas are almost unintelligible.
“I-I know…m’s-sorry…m-m’so sorry C-Choso!”
Choso exhales deeply and shoulders slump forward as he releases you, running a hand over his face and back through his raven locks.
You couldn't read his expression but you didn't want him to attempt to leave you again as you close the gap between you, arms encircling him once more.
Choso doesn’t push you away, yet to his credit he doesn't return your embrace either as he’s still torn.
“I-I missed y-you so m-much.”
Cursing the hold you have over him Choso can’t deny he still wants to be with you—but you both were at an impasse.
Nothing good would come from repeating the same cycle again. 
There is no resolution if you still want to keep up a front. 
“P-Please forgive me Cho—I-I love you.”
The sweet proclamation is accentuated by your pillowy lips spreading kisses over his chest while the tips of your fingers slip up his shirt to place feather light scratches at the small of his back. 
Love, eh?
An unexpected revelation dawns on Choso and he is now resolved in what he has to do. 
“Yeah princess, you really love me?” 
Oblivious to the danger edging in his voice, you nod as you continue to coo affectionate words and affirmations into his chest. One of your legs hitches around his as you mold yourself deeper into him thinking he’d finally forgiven you. 
Had he forgiven you though? 
Well, not exactly. 
A devious smirk appears across Choso’s features.
Choso had come to the conclusion that at the end of the day you were simply a terrible people pleaser. 
Your stuck up bratty nature was merely a front of false confidence. 
You tried so hard to become whatever anyone else wanted you to be, you'd lie to yourself and become utterly miserable in your efforts to appease those around you. 
However, Choso knew the version of you he’d gotten when you’d been with him and Yuji had been the real you. 
And he actually did believe you loved him— even if you had just forced yourself to say it in the moment so you could manipulate him into staying.
Sympathetic to your pitiful nature, Choso wouldn’t just abandon you. 
But if you couldn’t do what was best for you, he would make sure you would himself.
PART 3
⋙ ©blkkizzat 2024. do not steal works or gfx, do not translate.
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⋙ I'm about halfway through P3, its 5.5k already lol. stick with me though cause pt 3 is the nasty brat taming smut we all are waiting for! if i tagged you here i will tag you again for p3 but im still adding new people to tag list so lmk in comments or reblogs if you'd like to be added. trying to focus to finish this but my adhd might distract me into writing a quick gojo fic but if i do i will finish this right after!
⋙tags: (ps ty for all the sweet comments for those who joined my overall writing tag list yall legit had me in tears ilysm!) @nkogneatho @toji-girl-main @RoyaltyAndRoses @aydene @slowlyshycomputer @bontensbabygirl @yoonjinhusbands @anxious-chick @kashxyou @halosdiary @littlemochabunni @ryomens-vixen @buttercupblu @tonycries @lowkeyremi @strawberrygirl0 @crybaby-herbalist @rintcrous @bomboclakkk @anubisisthebomb @alwaysfreakingout @oeanonyme @chrys23 @spltbtch @uranometrias @officialsimpp @crispycatt @purple-obsidian my-jukebox @peachyharts111 @thedorklingqueen @sugurusprettygirl @scarasw1f3 @kgorethz @c1truswh4re @madaqueue
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lou-struck · 1 month ago
Text
The Apple of My Pie
Kenma Kozume x reader
Flufftober Day 13~ Apple Pie
W.C. 1.2k
~These long days of streaming can drive Kenma crazy, so much so he swears he can smell something delicious coming from the kitchen.
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A few years ago, Kenma Kozume would've never considered himself a workaholic.
Unnecessary effort for mundane tasks was seemingly pointless. Why work hard on something that doesn't matter to you?"
He had this train of thought until he met you, and everything changed. He started to dream of a future with you. And he realized that In order to make that dream come true he has to do more than just the bare minimum.
~
Hey Hey Hey, it's my birthday. It would mean the world to me if you gave me a shout-out. 
What console is he playing this on?
Follow 4 follow anyone?????
What texture pack are U using? Ur game looks different than mine?
The chat in his stream seems to move faster than his avatar as he plays through one of his favorite games. His eyes are dry and irritated from staring at the screen for hours, but he keeps pushing himself. It may only be October now, but he really wants to earn enough to take you on your dream vacation in the new year. 
His desk is littered with water bottles but he can't seem to remember the last time he has eaten. Was it breakfast?
Maybe…
Glancing over at the clock, he wonders what time you will get home from work today. Usually, when you come home, you poke your head into his office, and he will wrap up his stream to spend some time with you.
When you left the house this morning, you had that cute look on your face that you get when you are trying to hide something, but he still cannot figure out what it was that you were hiding. 
His brain goes on autopilot as he runs through the map, killing enemies and looting chests as he tries to figure out the little mystery. 
Did you plan a date night?
That could be it.
A soft smile tugs at his lips as he wonders if he should beat you to the punch and take you out tonight for dinner. Or better yet, maybe he should order some takeout from the place you like and have a night in.
He starts to reach for his phone to check your location when something sweet, something nostalgic, wafts under his nose. He inhales deeply, but then he remembers that his automatic air freshener broke last week and starts to worry.
Sometimes, when he spends the day streaming and working, he can forget things, like if he lit one of those sweet-smelling fall candles you bought for the house earlier when he went to grab an energy drink from the fridge.
Shit…
Suddenly, his screen bleeds red, and he realizes that in his state of distraction, his avatar died, much to the surprise of all of his viewers. 
"Ummmm, okay, guys, I think I need to call it quits after that one," he says into the camera. Signing off with his usual quiet demeanor, his fans can't seem to get enough of it. As his blinking camera light goes dark, he pushes out his gaming chair and slides across the wooden floor in his socks as he tries to find the source of the smell. 
The kitchen light illuminates the stairway, casting his shadow along the portrait-speckled walls, and to his relief, he spots a familiar-looking set of car keys on the corner of the hallway table and immediately feels at ease. 
The sound of you shuffling through the kitchen brings a smile to your face as he walks toward you and the warm, sweet smell that only gets stronger with each step he takes. Now out of panic mode, Kenma allows his eyes to readjust from the dark, blue light of his office to the warm, cozy lights of the kitchen. 
He reaches the bottom of the steps and walks into the kitchen entryway, where you are hunched over the sink washing a large silver mixing bowl. The countertop looks almost shiny as if it is still wet from being cleaned, but on the corner of the island sits a few containers of spices, just waiting to be put away. He can't make out the labels from the doorway, but he is pretty sure he at least sees some cinnamon. 
"It smells good in here," he murmurs, grabbing your attention; your head snaps toward the sound in surprise, but calm down when you see it's just him.
"Ken, I thought you were streaming still." you breathe, quickly setting the now clean bowl onto the drying rack. "How long have you been standing there?"
"I was," he says. Doing little to hide his satisfaction of seeing you trying to adorably look nonchalant. "But I started too early and needed a break, so not long."
"I see," you say, your gaze nervously darting every which way except… He turns his head towards the window sill and sees his all-time favorite dessert, a freshly baked, still steaming apple pie, cooling in the chilly fall air. 
"Damn, you caught me," you tell him, wrapping your arms around his stiff midsection; he really needs to get a better chair in his office. "I wanted it to be a surprise."
"I am surprised," he says, starting to walk toward the window, taking you, who is still holding onto him with him. His keen, catlike eyes scan the dessert, and it looks amazing. The crust is golden and unbelievably flaky, and the lattice looks like it just walked off the set of one of those cooking shows his mom used to watch all the time. 
You must've worked really hard on this…
"The pie looks amazing," he says, hypnotized by its beauty. 
"It's better," you laugh, regarding your masterpiece with a critical gaze. "It took me forever to make it. I got home a few hours ago and tried to be as quiet as I could. I had wanted to bring you a slice when you got done streaming, but making the filling took way longer than I thought."
His heart swells as he is touched by the care that you put into this surprise, but he turns away from it. The pie may be a masterpiece, but you are far more important. To this day, Kenma doesn't know how he ended up with an S-rank partner like you, but he is too afraid to ask in case you one day wake up and realize that you could be with someone a hundred times better than him…
"So, do you really like it?" you ask softly, your expression tender.
"I love it y/n, seriously. You are amazing." He gently cups your cheek and wipes away a little streak of flour from your warm skin. "I love you so much."
"I love you too, you say, your eyes shining, and he can see his lovesick, adoring reflection staring back at him.
He kisses you and tastes something sweeter than apples on your lips. He may not be the smoothest guy in the world, but he knows you and doesn't pull back until you are weak in the knees. 
His lips are just centimeters from yours when he asks if he could have a piece. 
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Tagging: @pixelcafe-network @ambiguouslady42
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eimids · 1 year ago
Text
Your worst enemy
Arsenal x reader
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Reder is suffering with depression and doesn’t want her teammates to know.
Warnings: depression, mention of suicide (nothing happens tho), HEAVY on the angst, hurt/comfort?
words: around 3k
Your thoughts had been spiraling for a while, first you didn’t even realize it. Starting with only tiredness and some not so good days. You just brushed then off.
Your depression wasn’t back, it couldn’t be it.
Last time it got so bad that you were almost hospitalized. So this time it couldn’t get to that point. You changed your whole life after your last depressive episode. You changed from Manchester United to Arsenal. You cut contact with toxic people in your life, especially your ex.
But without you even realizing, it became more severe. Not having any energy, going to sleep at 9pm and sleeping for almost 12 hours every day. You were also getting irritated really easily. If something didn’t go your way, you were ready to fight (and cry). Practice was the only moment you had to be energetic. You couldn’t let things affect football. You didn’t want to be with your teammates, the bonding nights only seemed like a lot of work to keep a happy surface.
During best days, everything felt almost normal. But just almost. Something felt always off. Sounds were too loud, lights were too brightbut you were happy. You were supposed to be happy. Why couldn’t you just be happy. Everything was good, what did you have in your life for you to be depressed? Absolutely nothing.
You tried your best to not let anyone notice but you failed miserably. Alessia was the first one to notice and tried subtly to talk to you about it. You were closest to her at Arsenal. You transferred with her from Manu so you knew each other from there. Although you were only 19 you and Less where getting along really well. After practice she offered to grab coffee with you, then have a nice girlsnight with her.
“Oh it’ll be fun. We can just go to my apartment to watch some movies and order your favorite food” The older woman tried to convince you.
You were hesitant at her suggestion. After the long day you were already overwhelmed and tired. You just wanted to sleep away the never ending tiredness. You hadn’t had even that long day. Only practice and recovery. Then some quick media stuff. But even that made you exhausted. Wanting to just rot away in your bed you made some excuse for Less.
“I’m sorry i’m just really tired today and I’m gonna have to call to my parents about them coming to visit” You said as casually as you could.
Lessi almost believed it, but she knew something deeper was going on. She’d seen you get more and more tired during the last months and she didn’t really know what to do about it.
“You know you can always talk to me if you have something on your mind?” Less blurted out.
You were pondering your options. You could say that things were ok and not to worry about you. But you could also confess the hard truth. Your depression was back. But Less would have to tell that to Leah and Kim, who were obligated to tell Jonas and the team management.
“I know Less, but I’m doing okay” You said and smiled. Then you just grabbed your kitbag and left the training grounds.
It was already 8pm and it was getting dark. You still didn’t have your drivers license so you couldn’t drive by yourself. You could ask a lift from one of your teammates but most of them had left or were still doing media. Uber felt useless waste of money so you decided to walk home. It was only four kilometers so it wasn’t anything too bad. You started your walk on the quiet roads of England. There was some pubs and bars you walked past to. Hearing the usual catcalls from some gross old men. You tried to ignore them you put your music louder in your headphones and continued walking.
Your phone was on ‘do not disturb’ mode as you continued your walk. You didn’t really notice anything around you. Not even truly caring about anything. You just wanted the numbness and tiredness to go away. Somehow you managed to get to your apartment. You took your shoes off and walked straight to your bed. Not caring that you were still wearing your day clothes. Your apartment was a mess so you didn’t even bother to look for any other clothes.
The next day you woke up and it was already 10am. Another 12 hours had passed with your sleeping. You knew you were going to be late but still didn’t bother to get up. You decided to check your phone only to find 3 missed calls from Less and texts.
Lessi🤍
8.47pm
Viv said you didn’t ride with her back home? Don’t say you walked! I could’ve driven you home..
9.12pm
Please answer to me that you are okay y/n. I just want to know you got home safely.
10.39pm
I really hope you are already asleep at your house. I’m worried please call me when you can.
You were alarmed when you heard something from your kitchen. You quickly got up and went to look for the sound. Your kitchen was cleaned, the living room was cleaned, what was happened.
Alessia. She stood there in your kitchen making you breakfast. You were confused about everything even though you had given Less your spare keys.
“Morning y/n, we need to have a talk” Less just said. Clearly not happy.
“Well yeah, you can’t just show up to my apartment” You answered.
“Yea I can when I’m worried sick about you. I asked almost everyone on the team if they had taken you home but no. Did you walk home? You can’t be that reckless, something could’ve happened. So when you didn’t answer I decided to come over to see what’s going on. I’m glad I found you safely home, sleeping” Less started her lecture.
“I didn’t walk” You lied. “I ordered an uber and got home safely” You continued with the lies. You could see the anger and worry on Alessia’s face turn to guilt. “I was tired and didn’t want to bother anyone so I just ordered the uber. You don’t have to worry about me Less, I’m okay” You said with a smile. You were trying to be convincing although all that came from your mouth was lies.
“Oh i’m so sorry y/n. I don’t know what got to me but you’ve been acting weird lately and I just got so worried when you didn’t answer. Maybe I should get going, I’m sorry again” Alessia said and started to grab her things.
You stopped her by hugging her. You weren’t mad at her, although you didn’t want her to be worried about you, I felt nice to know that she cared about you. “You can stay Less, have breakfast with me” You said to her softly.
So she did. You ate your breakfast in a comfortable silence and then talked about your next match that you were going to have in couple days. You were supposed to leave to Manchester later that day. After you ate, Less grabbed her stuff again and left. You were happy with yourself that you convinced her that everything was okay.
You and Alessia both missed the team meeting of that morning but were on time to get to your bus to leave to Manchester. You got a little lecture from Jonas but didn’t really care. Wasn’t the first time.
On the bus most of your teammates were on the back of the bus listening to music and chatting. You however were sitting in the front. Headphones in listening to Taylor Swift and trying to sleep. It wasn’t hard with how exhausted you were. Sleep came nowadays always easily.
At some point you were woken by Kim sitting next to you. You tried to just act like you were sleeping but the skipper knew better.
“I know you’re awake y/n. Why don’t you come to the back of the bus with the others and have some fun, you have missed a lot of team bonding nights lately and the girls miss your company” Kim stated to you. You could hear Katie singing in the back of the bus and laughed a little.
“Okay I can come for a while. But I really need my beauty sleep” You tried to joke. Kim laughed a little before walking back to her seat. You followed her and were welcomed with teasing from your teammates.
“Well good to see you y/l/n, feels like I haven’t seen you in ages” Katie teased as she saw you walking to the back of the bus. “Come sit next to me” She continued.
You really didn’t want to hear the teasing from Katie but decided to still take the seat next to her. In front of you were Beth and Viv. In the next booth of four were Less, Leah and Kyra. Music was blasting and you saw as Katie was filming a tiktok about the her day. She filmed you in it with the something along ‘She’s alive’. You smiled for the camera but actually you wanted to cry. You were tired af the teasing. You were tired of everyone fussing about you. Why couldn’t you just enjoy some peace and quiet.
You zoned out for a while and next thing you realize was that Leah was gently waking you up.
“Wake up sleepy” Leah said quietly and smiled to you.
“Oh sorry I didn’t mean to fall asleep” You said while looking around. Everyone else had left the bus, you were at your hotel.
Leah just hummed and helped you get your stuff and then walked with you to the entrance. Your teammates were sorting out rooms. You were hoping to get a room for yourself all alone. When you’re name was called at last you found out that you were paring with Leah. Kim and Leah changed looks that you didn’t notice.
Some of your teammates, mainly Viv, Beth and Less had went and talked to your skippers about your weird behavior. They had all noticed the signs of depression. Especially Less who had known you when you had your latest episode. They had made a small plan to get you to talk. Leah would be rooming with you, Kim would encourage you to be more with the other girls. Viv and Beth where just like parents who took notice about your behavior and made sure that you took care of yourself. They didn’t want to talk to you yet about it. They want you to come talk to them, or to anyone at that matter.
The rest of the day was a blur. You had a practice on the pitch, some recovery in cold pool, dinner. At practice you were almost benched because you were playing recklessly. Taking stupid risks and tackling people. A lot of your tackles were not even towards others, more so you could get yourself hurt. They were stupid and you knew it but just didn’t care.
After dinner your head was a mess. You felt overwhelmed and you couldn’t really take a notice of your surroundings. Kyra was walking next to you to the elevator. For the next couple of hours you were supposed to spend time with your teammates. You knew you had to show your face there for people not to get suspicious but you were in a bad mental state and just wanted to be alone. You walked hand in hand to the meeting room where pretty much everyone was in already. You smiled and talked for a while before trying to make an excuse to leave.
“Don’t leave yet, you just came here” Viv said to you. Trying to find someone else in the room who was in on the plan. She saw Leah and waved her over.
“I’m just not really in a mood to be here, I was thinking about having a shower and just going to sleep” You answered. Not having the energy to make up excuses.
“Y/n it’s not even 6pm, can’t you just stay here with us for a little while longer?” Leah asked hopefully.
Everything was just too much for you. The music in the background, Leah and Viv asking too many questions. Your breathing started to pick up pace. You knew that if you didn’t get away now, you would most likely end up having a panic attack. So you left. Without a word to Leah or Viv. You just turned around and walked away. You ran to your room and quickly closed the door. You fell to the ground and couldn’t help the tears in you eyes starting to spill.
You hated it, hated it all. You hated your mind for not being normal. You hated yourself for not accepting help from the other who clearly were just worried about you. You hated your teammates for trying to help. You hated the feeling in your head that just didn’t go away. You just hated it all.
Leah and your other teammates decided to give you some time for a while. Letting you calm down. But they all knew that they needed to do something. Leah and Kim decided to talk to the team management the first thing the following day. They knew you needed help and couldn’t watch on the side as you were slowly ruining yourself. After sometime Leah decided to come back to your shared room. She expected to find you sleeping but was concerned when you weren’t in the room. She checked the bathroom but no. You weren’t there. She got worried quickly. Her mind went first to the worst scenarios. Did something happen to you, did yo do something to yourself, was it too late for her to come look for you, she was blaming herself instantly.
“She isn’t hear” Leah said in a panicked voice as soon as Kim answered her call.
“What do you mean Leah?” Kim asked worriedly.
“She isn’t in our room, what if something has happened” Leah worried.
“Okay let’s not panic yet. Come back to the team room and we’ll make a plan” Kim said to Leah. Being the captain she knew she had to stay calm. They talked as Leah walked back to the team room. Kim had asked most of the girls to go back to their rooms and have a chill night. Not wanting to consern them.
Viv, Beth, Katie, Alessia, Leah and Kim were the ones to stay. They knew you the best and right now all they wanted was to find you.
“Has anyone called her?” Beth asked.
“Well yeah but she didn’t answer, it went straight to voicemail” Leah answered.
“She’s an adult and can leave if she wants, right now there isn’t much we can do unfortunately. Leah I suggest you go back to your room and see if y/n comes back. Inform us immediately if she comes, Viv and Beth can you go to the restaurant and bar to check if y/n’s there?” Kim started to make a plan.
Kim, Less and Katie stayed in the teamroom. Alessia was crying. She knew how bad it could get for you. Last time, about two years ago, she and Ella Toone had found you on the roof of the hotel, ready to jump. After that you started to get better. You were put on antidepressants and went to therapy for a year. She was happy that you were getting better. She didn’t want to believe the signs of depression when she first noticed them again. She didn’t want you to go through that again.
The team didn’t have to look for a long time before you showed up back in your room where Leah was pacing around. She stopped immediately when she heard the door open. Next she saw you with tears in your eyes standing there. Looking so fragile.
“I think I need help Leah, please help me” You said with the tiniest voice, lips quivering but Leah heard you. She came running to you before you collapsed on her embrace. You cried as she carried you to the bed and then continued to let you cry against her.
She quickly found her phone in her pocket and sent a quick text to Kim that you were back. Then she ignored the respond she got and just continued to hug you.
“I’m here for you and I’m going to get you the help you need” Leah whispered in your ear.
This was supposed to be longer but I don’t really know how to continue this so I might do a part 2 where reader sorts with the aftermath about everything. Would you be interested in part 2?
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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 10 months ago
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The Lonely Souls Club 4
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Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as stalking, loneliness, noncon, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.
This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Summary: Two lost souls cross, but not all those are lost, want to be found.
Characters: Bucky Barnes
Note: a brief reprieve.
As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.
Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!)
I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖
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Bucky
He waits until the air has settled. Yet he hasn’t. That thrill buzzes behind his ears as his chest beats erratically. He can’t help but think of their run-in at the store. It wasn’t that bad. She wasn’t afraid of him, just startled in the moment. That’s a good sign.
He mulls over his colliding thoughts. He wants to wait, make sure she is ready, that she can see he only means to take care of her. Then there’s that impatience that tugs at his nape. As he comes out of his hiding spot, just up on the fire escape of the next building, he has a thought. He should just walk up and knock on her door, introduce himself.
Noooooo. No. He’s getting carried away. She’s alone and vulnerable. He doesn’t want her to associate those things with him. He wants to make her feel safe.
So he slows and minds his steps, taking those untrackable paces that make him so deadly. They never hear him coming. He clicks into soldier mode, with a mission in mind. He creeps past her door and bends to swipe up the letter, barely missing a beat as he continues down the alley.
He doesn’t stop until he’s on the next street. He peers up and down, scanning the area and peeking over his shoulder. No one following, no movement from the alley. He turns left and crosses the road, dipping beneath the alcove of an abandoned storefront.
He shakily opens his hand. He’s slightly crumpled the paper. He frowns at the wrinkles and smooths them out. He narrows his eyes and reads the first line. Her writing is loopy and she dots her eyes with exes.
‘Hi stranger,’
He pauses, savouring each letter. Stranger… one day, she’ll know his name. He still wonders how she didn’t recognise him in the shop. Every now and then, people do.
He puts his eyes to the paper once more.
‘I don’t know what else to say but thank you. I don’t know who you are, but I know you are kind. Your gift will help in ways you don’t even know. I hope one day someone does something just as nice for you.
Thank you.’
He lingers on her name. He shifts around the letter to peel off his right glove and runs his thumb over the letters. He leans on the brick and reads the whole letter again. She knows he means well. She sees what he can do, he just needs her to know all he would do for her.
He folds up the letter carefully and tucks it inside his jacket, patting the outside just to make sure it's snug. He slips his phone out and pulls up the app. He flicks through the cameras until he finds the angle he wants.
His heart drops and his soles scuff as he fights to keep from racing out into the street. She’s on the floor, sat against the wall, a litter of groceries all around her. She calmly holds a can, reading the ingredients as if the scene isn’t chaotic.
He waits, teetering between reluctance and desperation. He needs her to get up. She’s all alone and he’s the only one who can see she needs help. Yet he can’t just burst in there and scoop her up and tell her it’ll be okay.
He can only watch helplessly. He hates feeling this way. It takes him back. To when he didn’t have control. To when he was a monster.
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Her
You set the can down and steel yourself, closing your eyes as you tilt your head back. Your hip is still ringing. It was just one wrong step, a stupid slip, and it all came crashing down. That’s when your armful went scattering and you with it. The tumble saw you landing on one of the tin cans, its shape more painful than the descent.
You reach to brace the wall and push yourself to one knee. Your hip is on fire as you grunt and plant your foot. You stand and cling to the wall sobbing as your tears break through. You turn and try to take a step, catching yourself with the mostly empty shopping cart, nearly tipping it as you stagger.
You twist and hit the counter with your back. You let go of the cart and get your elbows onto the counter before you slide down again. You lean back and catch your breath, aching so deep you shake. You roll your eyes against the tears and look around.
The apartment is so solemnly lonely. It’s just you. You could languish on the floor and no one would ever know. The government wouldn’t care if you didn’t cash your check, the grocer wouldn’t care if you didn’t pick out discounts, and your neighbours wouldn’t notice past their toddler’s tantrums.
You gather your strength and make yourself stand, ignoring the agony. You can do this. You grab the cart and drag it closer. You bend over and grab the bread, whipping it out onto the counter. You lean heavily on the cupboards as you go about getting it all away. Your final challenge is retrieving the cans from the floor.
At last, it’s done. You roll the cart before you, using it as your only support and fall against the back of the couch. You let the cart go and flip yourself over onto the mattress, curling up across the top as you’re wracked with heaving sobs.
You’re tired of this. The pain, the helplessness, the betrayal of your own body. You’re trapped inside this thing that doesn’t work! You just want to give up. You don’t know why you haven’t. You don’t have anything to keep you from doing just that.
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Dr. Grissam looks at you dully over his chart. You sit on the low stool, unable to even take the step up to get on the bed. He sighs and taps his pen on the clipboard.
“I did recommend the cane last time,” he reprimands.
You wince. He did and you couldn’t afford it then, just like you can’t know. And the bill for this visit will be another dent in your monthly stipend. You’re rationing your oatmeal and keeping your bread frozen.
“I know. I… I should’ve listened,” you hang your head. Dr. Grissam is a stern man but he signed off on your ministry papers. Without his little scribble, you’d have nothing.
“It’s a lesson,” he sniffs, “there’s a mobility store. I recommend it. They have a big selection, affordable too.”
Affordable. That’s not within your vocabulary. He jots something down on the little pad and rips the sheet off, holding it out. “More pain meds. Ten tablets. You take them when you need to, not when you want to.”
“Yes, doctor,” your murmur.
He’s always been stingy but you don’t ask for the pills. He gives them but acts like you’re some sort of fiend. You accept the script and get up, clinging to the stool until you get your balance.
“Is it close?” You ask.
“Bus takes you straight to it. Couple blocks down.”
“Oh,” you nod, “thank you, doctor.”
“Make sure you see Charity. It’ll help.”
You utter an empty promise to do so before you leave. You can’t afford to see the physio either. You told him that before but you don’t think he heard you, or wanted to. In his eyes, it’s your own fault you’re like this. You can’t help but wonder if it is.
You won’t use the prescription. You can’t pay the pharmacy fee. You check the address scrawled beneath; you can walk there… slowly. You’ll have to take some breaks but it will be easier when you have a cane. Getting back won’t be as taxing, but you expect, you’ll draw even more stares.
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Bucky
She went into the store nearly forty minutes ago. The small depot is nestled between a convenience store and vape shop. She walked all the way there from the plaza of her doctor's office.
He kept pace with her, hanging back when she sat on a bench and rubbed her hip. He still can't shake the image of her on her bed, crying on pain. The days since haven't proven any easier. 
He stares at the marquee. The mobility shop displays scooters and walkers in the window. He can guess why she's there. He can tell it took more than just the physical effort to make herself do so.
He's antsy. He hopes she's okay. She didn't look very happy after her appointment. She even seemed defeated. 
The door opens and closes. He's disappointed. It's not her, only an elderly couple. Despite the let down, he can't help but feel a dimple in his cheek. That could be them one day, a whole life ahead of them.
He checks his watch. He's supposed to meet up with Sam in a couple hours. He can cancel, he isn't exactly in the mood to be hazed. 
When the door opens again, he's transfixed. It's her. She walks steadier with the cane but still uneven. She keeps her free hand on her hip as she appears to test out her new gait, figuring out how best to place the cane.
She grows more confident as she goes. He notices her slow down and peer through the window of the bakery nearby. He keeps his distance, still across the street. He’s noted that too. How she meticulously measures out her food. A can of soup is split across three meals with nothing else. She eats slow when she remembers too.
It’s starting to get to him. So much it makes him itchy. She needs him to take care of her. She can’t do it herself. Not because of her hips or her lack of trying. He can barely do it either. He sleeps on the living room floor in the light of television just to feel a little less alone.
She’s a lot like him. He sees that more and more. As he does, he feels her pain like his own. More than his own.
He can’t keep waiting. If he does, she could get hurt. He can’t bear to keep watching her suffer like this. He can help her. He knows he can. She might not, but he can show her. It’s not the way he wanted to but his hands are tied.
He should go see Sam. He promised. Besides, he needs a favour.
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Her
The shadows move just on the other side of your eyelids. You’re groggy as slowly you’re drawn awake by the odd scratching. A breeze flows over your body and you roll onto your side. Your lashes flutter and gasp as you notice the front door. It’s open!
You sit up, panic swelling in your chest. Someone’s in your apartment. You hear them, sifting around in the drawers. You turn and see the silhouette of the intruder, shoulders broad as he’s distracted by your sparse belongings. You reach for the can against the side of the folding frame.
As you swing it to the floor and haul yourself up, the man turns. You cry out as he sees you, stalking forward, his eyes flitting between you and the door. He seems to hesitate as he comes closer and closer. You aren’t fast enough to run.
He stops, frozen, as if he’s afraid of you. You don’t know what to do so you raise the cane and smack his shoulder. 
“Get out!” Your heart hammers wildly. What are you doing? This man could break you in half. “Get-”
He hisses and pushes the cane away as you aim it at him again. He lumbers around you, shielding himself with an arm as he hurries to the door, shoving through the heavy grate. He mutters something you can’t make out. You set your cane straight and limp to the door, eager to close it behind him.
You hear him outside, grunting and groaning. You keep from shutting the door as you see him tangled with another shadow. The man in the hoodie remains faceless as a thick arm wraps around his neck. Another man wrestles him down to his knees as a slat of light limns his square jaw and bright eyes. You gape  through the iron bars of the outer door.
“Lock the door,” he grows as he continues to struggle with the intruder, “now.”
You obey. You recognise the man but you can’t place from where. It doesn’t matter. He can’t be bad if he’s fighting a robber, right? You turn the locks, the lower one broken completely. You strain to watch through the peephole. 
You can’t believe this is happening, that that man broke in and you didn’t even notice. Not until he could have hurt you. Not until it was too late.
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penny-anna · 6 months ago
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Trying to vacuum my living room this morning
My new carpets are wool rather than synthetic and a downside of this is that they shed
I'm reliably informed that this is a temporary issue that will resolve itself once all the loose fibres work their way out but for the timing being they're producing just a TREMENDOUS amount of fluff
My vacuum cleaner is cordless & it's not got a very high fluff capacity. Keeps filling up much faster than I'm used to
The way I generally notice this is that it cuts out mid vacuum. Usually this is fixed by emptying out it's tank
Today however it continued cutting out even after the tank was empty. Figured there must be more fluff in there somewhere
Go on a fascinating journey through the workings of the vacuum cleaner. Discover removable parts I had no idea even existed. See bits of it that have never been viewed by human eyes before.
Eventually determine that there are 2 points where the fluff has got so compacted that it's not getting sucked up
One of these is right down in the bottom section and w some finagling manage to push it out w the handle of my longest spoon
However other blockage seems to be in the Long Pipe. Have to use my phone torch to confirm that it's there bcos it's dark inside the Long Pipe.
My longest spoon isn't long enough to reach it and I don't have any other suitable implements
Only thing I can think to do is put it in the bath and run water down it. Reluctant to do this as if I get it wet I'll need to dry it out fully before using it again
Continue searching for a suitable implement. Continue to not have anything
Bite the bullet and take it into the bathroom
At first nothing is coming out. Begin to worry that this isn't gonna work
But then!! After about 15-20 seconds the Long Pipe disgorges all it's fluff into the bath
There's a perceptible sensation of pressure releasing??
It's finally clean!!
Put the vacuum cleaner into handheld mode and go suck up the worst of the fluff
Success??
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damiansgoodgirll · 1 year ago
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Can you please make reader where she’s going home from a friend and she has to walk to get home, but someone follows her and she immediately calls her boyfriend Damian and he goes into protective mode please?
damian priest x reader
‼️ unwanted attention and stalking, a little angst but not much
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guardian angel
you felt something was off the moment you left your best friend’s house.
you just spent a very nice and peaceful evening, eating pizzas, drinking wine and talking about the latest news and gossip, knowing that damian was chilling at home waiting for you. you knew how hard he’s been working so you wanted him to enjoy some time alone too to cool off and relax a little.
he texted you that he trained a little and while he was waiting for you to come back home, he decided to watch a movie, something calm and funny to keep his mind going.
so you left your best friend’s home relaxed, knowing that everything was good. you usually drive anywhere but it was a cool night, it wasn’t too cold, the weather was good and you always enjoyed a nice walk. plus it was only twenty minutes away from your apartment so it wasn’t anything new to you.
you’ve been walking for just a few minutes and the unsettling feeling you had inside wasn’t leaving you. you slowly turned your head and you saw a black car driving slowly, almost like following your steps.
you thought it wasn’t anything to worry about, maybe someone was looking for a specific house but when you turned right, taking the road to your house, you saw the car turning with you, anxiety started bottling up inside you.
you walked faster, trying to get home as fast as you could but you knew that if something happened, you could have never beaten a car. you were walking fast but still to slow if the car had to start something.
you couldn’t even see who was driving, it was too dark outside and you just wanted to think straight and not lose your mind.
you walked faster again, almost as if you were running when suddenly you heard someone talking inside the car.
your worst nightmare was coming true.
there wasn’t just one person inside the car. there were two.
the second guy in the passenger seat started calling you, trying to get your attention.
“hey beautiful…” he screamed.
you ignored him and walked faster but that didn’t make him stop. he continued for a few minutes and eventually he stopped when he saw that you weren’t reacting.
your hands were shaking but you knew you had to call for help. you really wanted to call 911 but when you unlocked your phone, the first person that came to your mind was damian. so you called him.
“hermosa…enjoying your night?” he answered, happy that you called him.
“dam…” you voice cracking a little.
“hey hey what’s going on? where are you? are you okay?” he immediately worried when he heard your voice.
“uhm…i’ve left alice house ten minutes ago, i’m on my way home but there’s a car…and it keeps following me…dam there are two man driving and they wouldn’t leave me alone…i’m only ten minutes away from home but - dam i’m terrified…what if i don’t make it home?” you really didn’t want to cry at the phone, you didn’t want to break down, not when you needed to be lucid.
“don’t say that mi amor. don’t ever say that…i’m coming to get you…i’m taking your car keys…i’ll be there in just a few minutes” he said and you could hear him getting ready to come get you. you heard him leaving your apartment and getting in your car. you also heard him speeding down the streets.
“dam can you please stay on the phone with me?” you asked him, slightly shaking.
“of course baby…tell me exactly where are you now…i’m on the main street, where are you baby?” he asked you.
“uhm…i’ve just passed the park…you know, the one where i’ve lost my wallet in?” you slightly smiled at the memory but regained compose when you heard the car yanking at you “dam…please hurry up” you almost cried at the phone.
“i’m driving as fast as possible hermosa…just a few wand you’ll see me. i’ve just passed joe’s restaurant, you should be able to see me in a minute, i’m driving your car…in the meantime stay here with me, talk to me…did you have fun tonight?” he asked you softly, trying to help you distracting.
“uhm…yes, it was a lovely night” you said smiling softly.
“good, that’s good…what did you eat?”
“we had pizza…and wine, but not to much, otherwise i wouldn’t be able to sleep” you said.
“exactly…but honestly i wouldn’t mind staying up all night with you…maybe without the vomit part” he said laughing and you laughed as well.
“we also talked a lot…and i talked about you too…”
“really? what did you say?” he acted surprised but not that much, knowing that you always gossip about your relationship.
“well…i talked about - wait, damian i see you…i see the car at the crossroad…”
“i see you too princesa. keep walking towards my car. i won’t move…is a black suv the one that’s following you?” he asked seeing the car slowly moving with you.
“yes and there are two men…” you whispered the last part.
“i’m taking down the license plate of the car…we’re going at the police tomorrow, now, there are no cars around, can you walk a little faster and in the meantime turn right? i’ll turn with you and you’ll be able to jump in okay? can you do that for me?” he asked, seeing how terrified you looked.
“uhm…i think so…yeah” you said.
“okay…go…” he whispered and you both hung up. it took him only two seconds and when you turned right you saw him doing the same, you almost ran inside the car when you saw him and immediately crashed into his arms.
“hey hey look at me baby…you’re okay…you’re okay beautiful, breathe with me…” he didn’t care if he stopped in the middle of the road. there were no cars in sight and all he wanted to do was to make sure that you were okay.
he held you while you cried. he saw how scared you were and the way you kept shaking.
his lips gently touched your skin. your cheeks first and then your forehead. his thumb slowly wiping away your tears.
“mirame…estas bien mi amor…” he whispered, holding you in his arms “you’re okay…i’m glad you’re safe, i’ve got you”
“i was so scared damian…they followed me since i’ve left alice’s home…what if - if something happened?” you were still shaken and damian felt that too.
“shh…shh baby, nothing happened. i’m so glad you’re here with me now, you’re safe and i promise you we’re going to the police tomorrow…” he promised you.
“okay…but right now i just wanna go home please” you whispered.
“we’re going home baby…” he said while he started driving.
the black car turned left when they saw you with damian, probably scared about the consequences.
damian spent the whole night taking care of you. from helping you calm down and making you a cup of tea to helping you with your skincare and changing you into your pj. he hated seeing you like that, he hated thinking that someone would even think of hurting you. he hated seeing you crying and scared and all he wanted to do was to protect you but he couldn’t.
he was just happy that now you were safe into his arms.
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totothewolff · 1 year ago
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Season of Love (2/?)
+18 | Toto x reader fem!teamprincipal, romance, comedy, and some good drama.
Summary: One night on a pier in Monaco, while admiring the sea under the night skies, you tell Toto: "I came to the conclusion that love is simply not meant for me." That's the answer to a question you have been asking yourself for the longest time. But what if he proved you wrong? Author's note: This is a multichapter Toto Wolff x team principal reader fic set along a season of F1. It's a very immersive story full of drivers, team dynamics, races, mystery, and smut. You just bought the Williams team, but nobody really knows who you truly are.
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Dances with Wolff Arc Chapter 2: Lights out, and away your feelings go!
Australia By mere luck, Toto had one of those sponsors' events in the afternoon, and he was wearing a Tom Ford tan suit with a white shirt, a classic ensemble, instead of his usual Mercedes kit.
And you, well, you looked so chic wearing a romantic Saint Laurent satin mini dress with an off-the-shoulder neckline paired with ribbon bowtie Jimmy Choo stilettos up to the occasion.
You wave Sam goodbye as she enters the car and returns to the hotel. And then Toto and you stay standing there, not knowing what to do next.
—So, at what time is the reservation? —Toto asks you.
—In two hours, it is downtown.
—Good. We are getting there on time, right?
—Oh yeah, we can go on my c... —You look at the empty space where your Lambo was parked - well, where Michael parked it, now empty and immediately take out your phone, shit! You left it on airplane mode. All messages and missed calls start to appear, red dots everywhere. Your assistant asked if you needed the car or if they had moved it to the hotel hours ago. Later, she sent the chauffeur to pick you up, but he couldn't reach you. He waited for you a long time and left.
—My team took my car, so...
—No worries. I can take us there.
"For sure you can!" you thought. Jesus, why were you so horny lately?
Toto then texts his chauffeur, and on your way, you two go; it was a quiet ride for a bit.
—So...
—So...
You both laugh at the back of the car.
—So our minds are connected, huh? —you joke, referring to your tendency to talk at the same time.
—It's becoming a bad habit, yes —Smiles. —I was going to ask you where have you been existing. Everyone close to me seems to know you, but they never mentioned it before; I feel left out; somehow, I have no idea who you are —Toto tells you.
—First of all, I take serious offense that neither Niki nor Sam mentioned me before; how dare they? And to answer your question in Belgium. I met Niki recently and Sam forever ago but she is pretty private so I guess that's why.
—Umh, I thought Sam and I had something special, but I'm calling it quits —Toto says. —She keeps secrets from me —putting on a fake sad face.
—Welcome to da' club. She's all Lewis's now.
-
Then, at the restaurant.
Toto and you were greeted by a blond supermodel-looking hostess who took you to your booked table. You entered the historical building - big old brown bricked walls, high ceilings with restored wooden beams, and dark marble tile floors - barely lit with just a couple of lights strategically placed reflected on the walls. The tables were small and intimate, and all the furniture was statement pieces - wooden carved and expensive textiles - the silverware and china were spectacular. The place was a printery back in the day, and it ended up in the middle of downtown and has now turned into a Michelin-starred restaurant.
The hostess acted extra caring with Toto, taking all the time to tenderly adjust his blindfold and explain every single step and detail of the dining experience. Since he couldn't see her, she went all handsy, relying on touch a bit much, and for obvious reasons, she tied your blindfold too tight. Really, girl?! Sorority like in where?
—So it's crucial for the experience when you give the food to each other, slowly savor the flavors and then start a conversation about each dish, what it made you feel, what reminded you of, what you thought it was, taking turns —she tells you two as she takes each your hand and makes you feel the space where a single plate full of finger food where to be placed - on top of a marble "lazy susan." —Please let me know if you need me —a lot of emphasis on "need me" and more addressed to Toto than you.
Wait, what?! Give each other the food?! What on earth?! You are so glad Toto isn't able to see you because, for sure, you are tomato red. Then you hear the hostess walk away.
—I frequent high-cuisine restaurants all over the world, yet I haven't dared with this one. It has so many mixed reviews —Toto tells you.
—I met the Chef at an auction gala for charity. He sat at our table and sold us the idea, which sounded exciting and intrigued me, so I told him I would stop by when in Melbourn —you add. He never mentioned that we had to feed each other during the experience.
A moment later, the dish arrived, and the experience began. Your hands were shaking a little bit. Your days went from ignoring Toto's bare existence to placing food into his mouth now.
—By all means, you go first —He offers you. Why did he have to be a gentleman?!
—Sure, thanks —You don't know where to start, so you pick a bite and stay there frozen when Toto notices it softly grabs your hand to guide you to his mouth to avoid you pocking him an eye with the food. Many "Oh god, oh god" fill your mind. You could sense him slowly biting the food from your fingers, his warm breaths on your skin, while hearing soft crunch noises.
He munches. And you wait, hand now resting on the table.
—Soft skin —he says.
—That is what it tasted you like?!
—No, of course not —Toto softly chuckles. —You have soft skin. The bite tasted like, amh, some sort of Gnocchi, but it wasn't. I'm not a big fan of this one and its flavor.
—So you like Italian cuisine?
—Everyone likes Italian cuisine, duh.
—Excuse you? That attitude, Sir! —you flirt, I mean, joke with him.
—Yes! I used to spend the summers in Italy with my family. It is a country that reminds me of my father. Cinque Terre has a special place in my heart.
—You miss your dad —You say before thinking, shit! Now he will assume that Sam and you gossip about him or think you Googled him. Shit! You are supposed to not know anything about him. Lol, if he knew. —It must be hard being away from family all the time with this busy schedule —Smart girl... Good save..?
He looks at you, a bit confused. —Ahm, yes. I miss my dad.
—Okay, it's my turn! —you shift topics quickly and naturally.
Toto picks up a small bite, and you wrap your hand around his wrist, guiding him to your mouth. Your thumb finger could feel his pulse, which weirdly relaxes you. You bite the food slowly, and your lips make a bit of contact, brushing the skin of his fingers.
—What does it taste you like? —he asks you. You try your best not to have dirty thoughts.
—Feet? God, this is awful —you answer while trying to chew the fucker.
Toto almost chokes on his water. Who calls feet a signature Michelin-star dish?
—I'm so hating this! I can't with pretentious places, to be honest. Uptight people are the worst!
—You tell me I live surrounded by those, but you will be fine. Why did you mention the uptight people?
—Send tips. Because there is no way an average person could have come up with this idea and this type of food! What are these flavors, honestly?!
—You are hilarious.
—Aw, thanks. What am I to you, a clown? Well, every circus needs one... I'm glad to help! Why do you keep laughing, stop!
—You are so right; F1 can be a circus! —Toto admits.
—So, what's your job at the F1 circus? No, seriously, don't laugh. TOTO STOP. Do you juggle or what? —You two keep reaching closer over and under the small table, knees now touching.
—Highly accurate! Or I could be that one guy on the tightrope! —He waves his arms.
—So meta. Listen, for us girls being the ones stereotypically called "catfight-ty," you guys...
—You have no idea! And it is just starting...
—Does the drama get too good? You are getting me excited! Don't play with my heart, Torger.
—I won't —Somehow, it sounds more profound and meaningful. Silence.
—Can we go back to the food, please? We are getting distracted from its delicious flavors —you say amidst giggles. —What? Don't you believe me? This dish is so good, "Latifi good".
Chuckles. Then you notice Toto left his right hand on top of yours this whole time.
With your free one, you pick up another portion. —Oh, you are going to love this one. Smells, uhm, so good. Wait for my soft hands to come closer —you tease Toto.
He loses it. People around you start judging you two; you are being "noisy."
—Why suddenly I don't want to open my mouth? I'm not helping you get there anymore. Find your way; if you miss it, then I'm so sorry.
—Oh, don't you worry, "Tots". I can always ask for more of these.
—Oh god, no.
The dining experience ended on the sixth small bite, thank Jesus. You two never walked out of a restaurant that fast, and none of you felt like staying to experience the drinks part, judging by the food.
But were in desperate need of refreshers. The night was now fully set, and the air was fresh. You two walk almost hand in hand on the sidewalk under the clear skies, choosing to explore the city, looking in the surroundings for a pub. You were lured by a very busy one - with live music - three drunk girls burst out of the door in a great mood, and it looked packed; then it must be good!
It was. —Do I ask to pour you a pint, too? Or are you on a diet or something? —Toto offers you on his way to get drinks. A great cover of "Your Love by The Outfield" played in the background. The singer had great vocals, and the guitarist was so talented.
—On a diet? God, no. I'm not that fit! Who gives that excuse? Who's that picky?
—There are people —Toto answers, a bit sad. You wonder if Sussie behaved like that. Of course, you don't dig.
While he goes on his mission, you find the last free table for yourselves. The place was what you pictured when someone said "pub". A classic, extensive wooden bar, tap beer, and tons of bottles on display. Small round tables, bar stools, and many empty frames hanging on the wooden panel walls mixed with art deco posters. It's nothing fancy but eclectic and cool.
As time passed, you two got drunk and the beers, too. You talked and talked and talked about everything. At least what you two wanted to share, obvious subjects were avoided. Toto didn't mention Sussie the whole time, and you chose not to reveal much about your "situation." The two of you formed a bond and had such chemistry none could explain. You were feeling so comfy with each other. He looked so happy and having a blast, and you were, too.
Then, the drinking contest started, and you sent your best knight to battle. You ended up sitting cross-legged on top of the bar with your short dress going up with your every move, surrounded by a group of people watching the spectacle - as well as the other couples of contestants - with Toto on his feet right next to you, resting one of his hands on your thighs. At the same time, you poured the beers directly into his mouth. The first one to finish a row of four pints with no pauses and successfully do "the loaded twirl" - four fast spins - then walk to ring the bell at the end of the counter - without falling - could leave not paying a penny, and win a cool metal medal too.
Toto sounded the bell first. And the place went fucking nuts.
By the end of your night out, you two couldn't even walk straight as you were being playful on the sidewalk on your way to meet your driver. At some point, you lost a heel while dancing, you knew how to move and rhythm was natural to you. Toto carried you around until a good soul gifted you his flip-flops; the poor unknown hero was so into you. Fantastic pubs and guys on flip-flops, thank you, Australia.
While rocking the stranger's flip-flops with your Saint Laurent mini dress, you were singing and throwing some moves on the street at the sound of "Notorious by Duran Duran" - it was the last song you heard the band played before leaving and got stuck in your head - it was around 4 a.m. by then.
Toto had his medal wrapped around his head, looking all stupid and hot. There is no sight of his suit jacket. He must have lost it when you took him to the bathroom - of course, you waited for him outside. He was too drunk to get there alone - or when you two started dancing, burning some of the alcohol in your systems.
There is something about him that makes you feel so many things, and you don't want the night to end. And you wanted to spend more time with him, listening to his voice, hearing his laugh, looking at his eyes, having his body near yours. You find him so attractive.
—I don't remember the last time I had this much fun; it must have been ages ago! —he says, way too loud and drunk.
—Me too! We should do this again! Are you sure it's here? —you reply, looking around. No cars in sight.
—Yes! I'm not that drunk. Here is where the pin marks —he says, looking too closely into his phone. His nose almost touched the screen, looking at the map.
—Let me see.
—Nein —He raises his phone, extending his arm, placing it out of your reach. You jump to grab it, failing miserably. You ended up bumping him instead. Balance isn't a thing for any of you at the moment. And you both get closer. At some point in the night, you two started to behave like magnets, unable to keep away from each other, all handsy. Toto places a hand on your lower back to steady you.
You aren't sure if the sensation you are feeling is the alcohol in your system or the butterflies in your stomach.
—You are so carefree. Zero pretentious. So fun. So captivating, so... —Toto says in such a dangerous voice, staring at your lips with his fingers, placing your hair behind your ear.
You two get closer.
—So..? —You beg him to continue, staring at his lips too. You take the lead and start closing the distance between you.
It's been a while since either of you had sex in your lives.
Or love.
He looks at you with desire and affection but without moving an inch. Then Toto decides to take a step back.
That distance feels like miles, and the car arrives. Ending an almost perfect night.
You feel ashamed since you overstepped and carried yourself away. None of you mentioned what just happened on the ride back to the hotel.
-
Spending time with you starts to feel like a necessity to him now.
Toto is standing there, left shoulder leaning against the bar wall near where the band is playing, sipping his beer, watching you dance with some strangers, glowing and smiling, and having fun among those girls while he admires your curves and body movements. You have the magic to make him forget about the rest of the world, its people, and its problems. Going out with you tonight felt like healing, like self-care. 
After days of being heartbroken, Toto called things off with Sussie, which was not an easy choice. She was the love of his life, or so he thought, and after spending a significant portion of your life with someone, saying goodbye to that person is never easy.
Even if tonight was great and felt like a lucid dream, he couldn't escape reality forever. This Cinderella story had an end.
Of course, he notices the way you look at him. The attention you pay to his every word, your excitement every time you make him smile, or how you lean closer to his touch whenever the two of you make accidental - or not - contact.
But he wasn't ready for you. Of course, he would love to make a move and enjoy the whole of you, explore your every corner, trace your hips with his hands, and feel your body beneath his, making you release sounds he would love to hear. He wanted to fuck you badly, but you weren't just for a one-night stand.
You deserved someone who could fully admire you. That worshiped you. And Toto wasn't able to be that guy at the moment. He felt wounded and needed time for himself.
So, when you had the courage he lacked to make the move, knowing that if he accepted that kiss, you would wake up tangled in his sheets, he stepped back.
Seeing your surprised, embarrassed, and hurt reaction spiraled him into coming days of somber mood and turned into a quiet ride back to the hotel.
-
Once you reach your destination, the driver opens the car door for you, and you step out of it, praying your balance has returned. After that fiasco ending of the night, all the alcohol in your system seems to have evaporated thanks to that emotional gut punch Toto gave. You glimpse Toto catching your step, walking now as normal as you.
You two may be walking seemly normal now but your looks scream drunks, loud and clear! - messy hair and clothes, not to mention your flip flops, a thing that made you smile as you remembered the now distant memory - as you passed by a floor-to-ceiling mirror on the way to the elevators.
The bellboy pushes the buttons to open the elevator doors for you.
—On which floor is your room? —he asks.
—Oh, no, we aren't...
—Eleven —you answer a little deadpan, interrupting Toto.
—Fourteen —he mumbles.
As you two go up, you start saying goodbye, also wanting to cut the tension a bit. —It was a fun night, "Tots"! My liver may disagree, but we'll see —you smile.
—Yeah, yeah, it was, except for that horrid food —he replies.
—Let's not, let's bury that part.
He nods with a small smile. The door opens on your floor. You smile at him one last time and head out.
Toto wants to say, "Wait!" or follow you down that corridor, inviting himself to your room and bed, but instead, he remains just standing there, and the elevator goes up.
-
You take your time to walk down the corridor, hoping there is still a chance, till you hear the sound of the elevator's doors closing and following it, total silence, no footsteps, no movement. So you let out a sigh and get inside your room.
You are left facing a feeling of emptiness and solitude as you walk across the empty and dark suite with your surviving heel in hand, and then you toss it across the room on the carpet. You enter the shower and start washing your make-up and body off, letting your mind wander to the idea that the two of you could be there right now.
So, a bit defeated by not having Toto's naked and wet body before you, you send yourself to bed, struggling to fall asleep and shut down your brain; after a while, you feel yourself drifting away in the arms of Morfeo - and sadly not Toto's.
-
—He thinks I'm captivating and have soft hands —you say while giggling like a teenager, adding sugar to your Chai at the end of the counter. Already in a better mood, trying to look at the bright side of things.
—Soft hands??? —Sam replies, making a silly face and grabbing a napkin.
You two meet on your way to get Starbucks, located two buildings away from the hotel. You are still hungover and need fuel before stepping into the paddock.
—You know, never mind. I don't want to know —Sam adds, biting her bagel.
—Oh, wait. No. Nothing like that happened —you wave your hands in concern.
—Calm down; you know he and Sussie are in the middle of a time-off. Nothing wrong if it had happened. He has been in such awful moods lately that I think he needs it to happen. This time, their breakup seems real.
—Really!?
—Can you at least don't sound that excited? Oh god, you are smiling. I hate love —Sam sips her black coffee, rolling her eyes at you.
—Leave me live my fantasy, alright? —praying sign, you joke.
—Now you will be all weird around him, won't you?
—Nooo, well, maybe a little. What? Like you don't ship us.
—Puff —Sam lets out.
—Oh, you fed me way too many details about him for years and set us up last night just because, huh?
—Okay. Fair. I sold you the idea. Am I clever, or what? Listen, I care about you two a lot, and frankly, I think you are great for each other.
—Ooh, so Sam Dobrev has a heart.
—Shut up! Please don't make me regret it —she replies, all done with life.
-
—Hi, big guy —Sam pops her head inside Toto's office, simultaneously knocking on the open door.
—You owe me one —Toto answers deadpan. Concentrated, looking straight at his iPad, not bothering to look at her.
—Why?
—That restaurant you made me go to was horrible.
—Well, I didn't pick the place, so no whines to me, but at least the company was fantastic, right?
—Umhju —Toto mutters, still looking at the screen. Then silence.
Sam interprets that answer as I'm not telling you anything else.
—Since you are here trying to gossip. Aren't you busy? If you have free time, you could help me with several things.
—Jeez, that mood. I'm not here to gossip. Here, sign this. Niki needs it.
Toto reads the paper Sam just gave him and picks up his phone. —I need to make a call. Would you mind closing the door on your way out? Thank you.
—Okay —Sam answers slowly and exaggerates the "O" while doing what was asked. Even she knows messing with a somber Toto wasn't a good idea.
Unfortunately for you, no gossip or insights of your night out were obtained from Toto.
-
It was a Grand Prix victory for Lewis. And a third place for Mick, but since it was his first podium, you guys celebrated as if he had just won the race. Sadly, Millie got pulled out of the track for a technical issue with the car.
You were hoping to chitchat with Toto at the podium ceremony, make him laugh a little, and watch his beautiful smile. Well, you hoped that the entire day, actually. But he was nowhere to be seen.
Until you spotted him in the distance, there was no casual way to start a conversation with him that way, and you didn't want to be perceived as pushy or desperate going straight to him. So you let the idea die. There was no rush.
If something was meant to be, it will happen without forcing things.
Right?
-
Azerbaijan
On the paddock in Baku, Toto chose to behave the opposite of that night in Melbourne. Serious, professional, and borderline unfriendly - but still polite.
That caught you off guard, and it was so confusing. After spending that great time together, you thought you two were on your path to becoming friends or more if luck was on your side. You didn't get the sudden change, and it was a bit hurtful when you went to say hi to him - all warm and smiling - and he gave the cold shoulder with a blunt "Good morning" and kept on walking.
You stood there looking a bit stupid, wondering if you did something to bother him or if he was acting Austrian. Maybe Toto was feeling really uncomfortable by how you approached him at the end of that night. Damn, drunk you!
But then, a couple of hours later:
"Unknown" is typing...
—Darci told me you left your office to have lunch. But I'm here outside your hospitality and don't see you - Toto.
Your assistant gave him your number. —Hi!!! Yes, I'm here having lunch.
—Where? I'm wearing my good glasses, and I'm sure you are not that bald guy eating a salad.
—Sandro is a very nice guy. Look up, grandpa!
—The rooftop? What are you, a pigeon?
No joke in reply, just an honest: —I like the view from here. It's peaceful! Bonus points for being private. No one bothers me here or intrudes. It's my secret special place. Do you want to join?
Toto finishes climbing the ladder and goes to greet you, kissing you on the cheek. As he does so, a crazy thought crosses your mind: What if you turn your head? Is stealing a kiss considered harassment? But you don't.
You two share your homemade Yakimeshi - you love cooking even if you have a private Chef, and you are damn good at it, well, according to everyone that has eaten your food, so you ask the hotel to get you the fresh ingredients you need - while talking about the day, sharing ideas, throwing shade, and enjoying each other's presence.
—What a diva! —you reply, grabbing a portion with your chopsticks.
—I know. I expected better, but engineers... you know —Toto shrugs.
—Ye! —you agree. Sometimes, they acted, well, a little bit challenging.
Toto was acting so relaxed and casual as you expected him to be, and not what was going on in the morning. You wonder so badly why there is a change in ways, but you don't dare to ask.
"What if he has bipolar disorder?" a question that came to your mind at some desperate point during your day. Not that there was something wrong with that.
The sun is setting, and you two enjoy the view, sitting next to each other - no space in between - He places his arm around you, palm resting next to your left hand, but without making physical contact.
This becomes a routine for you two, lunching together on the rooftop of the W hospitality, away from the rest of the world, in your private little bubble. It becomes your favorite moment of the day. And Toto's, too, even if he swore he would never like routine.
-
Miami
—Excuse me, excuse me, how did the tire taste you like? —you tease a very solemn Lewis walking past you on the paddock while you pretend to hold an invisible mic at his face, acting like a reporter. An instant smile forms on his lips.
—Roscoe attack! —Lewis commands.
Roscoe stares at him for a second and then wanders to sniff a palm tree, not caring.
—I think your trick didn't work —you get closer to greet him with a hug.
—He is too lazy for that —he tells you while embracing you.
—You are too cute; don't listen to that man! —you say with a silly voice, addressing Roscoe, letting Lewis go, and flexing to pet the dog, rubbing around his ears, which Roscoe seems to enjoy.
It was a Qualy of hell for Mercedes. Lewis's car's back tire flew out into the air before bouncing on a safety barrier at speed, almost hitting him back. Plus, George's car ended up in the gravel after losing power.
In contrast, Williams did great. Mick was one with the car, achieving the day's fastest lap.
—Feeling better, sweetie? —you ask Lewis with honest concern, after seeing the incident unfold and how he made it out of the car really distraught.
Although you must admit that even though that whole thing wasn't funny, the memes were pure gold, so you texted Toto your pick: the one where the tire hit the space station with a photoshopped explosion, the one with Lewis's face photoshopped on a baseball player hitting a home run, but instead of the ball it was the tire and your favorite, the one with photoshopped Toto, Lewis, and George riding the tire to the sky.
—Yeah. I'm good. A positive mindset always helps, thanks.
—I think I just saw you kicking, crying, and screaming in the bathroom, Mr. Positive Mind Set —Sam joins the conversation, teasing him.
—HA HA
—So, what's the plan for tonight-A? —she asks.
—Noone human says tonight like that. Not even Michael Jackson on drugs —you tell Sam.
—We are in Miami, chica! Aren't we clubbing?! —she replies.
—Are you high?
—I will if we go out...
—You realize we are here for work, right? —Lewis asks her.
—Like we haven't done it before. What's the worst that could happen? Toto finding out? You losing the race? Toto, finding out you lost the race because you went out clubbing with us?
—Yes! —you all answer at the same time. —To all of that —you add.
—Well, not if Toto comes with us...
Lewis starts laughing like a madman. —Sam, are you suggesting convincing Toto to go clubbing with us the night before the race so he doesn't get mad if he finds out we went clubbing?
—I got lost, mate —George arrives, earing that last part, trying to figure out what the hell.
—Well, I'll not be convincing him. Y/N is.
—ME?!
—If you really love me, you will —Sam pushes you toward the Mercedes' motorhome.
Gaslighting a bit much?
-
How am I supposed to do this? I'm going to sound so unprofessional. Although, technically, you two went out pub-ing?? and got drunk the night before the race in Australia. Okay, that made-up word sounds terrible; let's never use it again, so there may be a slight chance to relive that.
At least you needed to practice your words before going in there since "Hi, Toto, wanna go clubbing?" wasn't an option but destiny was a bitch; you two crossed paths before you had the opportunity to rehearse. Toto was on his way back to his office; he left his badge access on his desk. He seemed surprised to see you there; you were far away from the Williams' grounds. So you are forced to improvise.
—Are you looking for Sam?
—No, not really, not this time.
—Oh. Niki?
—Nope.
—Lewis?
—You.
Toto was now standing right before you with his hands in his pockets, all tall and handsome. You liked him even more when he wore his reading glasses.
You start a bit shy; Toto has a powerful presence. —I heard Miami has excellent places, and because last time I made you join me for that awful dining experience, I thought maybe we could go out and have a good time but in a better establishment.
—Tonight?
He sounds slightly judgy. You go on: —I was talking with the guys, and they mentioned "Floyd." It sounds great...
—The guys?
—Sam and Lewis, and George...
—Ooh, they sent you? Sam!
Oh boy.
—The cocktails sound goo...
—I'm not taking my drivers drinking or to a nightclub before the race or allowing it. It's ridiculous —Toto interrupts you again.
You look at him, now slightly nervous and bummed out.
—None of us is going; it's not happening —Toto adds firmly.
Yeah... He was a pro at the top of his game. Of course, he cared about discipline, mindsets, and winning races and titles; what were you thinking?!
You nod apologetically. Your eyes look a bit sad, well, because... You don't need to explain why. Just start turning around to head back and tell them the news.
—Wait! We could go to "Basement", which has a bowling alley and a DJ. But no drinking! Not even a drop for anyone; we must return to the hotel at a reasonable hour. Do you like that? That makes you happy?
—Sounds perfect to me —your smile is big and bright. Did Toto change his mind to please me?
-
To make things even, you end up bringing Millie and Mick. You wanted to make clear you weren't playing unfair tactics with your opponents. You earnestly desired to spend a good time with the people you began to care about.
The place was all for yourselves. It was a club slash bowling alley with colorful neon lights reflecting on the lanes, varying intensities and colors to the DJ's beats. It was a dope place.
Lewis invites Seb. They two took bowling seriously and had a years-long competition. They show you a list of their scores on Lewis's iPhone going back to the dark ages.
Bono also shows up, and Carlos and Lando, too, God knows how.
Lando starts stretching right in front of you, warming up, and making eye contact with you while doing his poses in a bit too sexual and exaggerated way. Samanta and you start laughing at him for acting all idiot. You two sit on the bowling benches while drinking Coke and eating popcorn.
—Every group needs a slut —you tell Lando.
—I don't think you are impressing her, man —Carlos joins, watching the spectacle, on his feet.
—It reminds me of when little children warm up before jumping into the pool —you kill Lando with your words.
—You have never seen legs like this —he tells you, overconfident. All of you laugh. —But, I will fight for your heart, malady. Is there another knight brave enough to face me in a bowling fight to the death?
—But what's the prize?! —Seb screams across all lanes.
—A NIGHT with the princess —Lando claims.
—Keep dreaming, sweetie —you reply.
—A KISS from the princess —he backtracks.
—Fine! Everyone, write your names here! —Sam takes a Post-it and a pen out of her purse - an assistant's habit - and passes them around.
—WHAT?! What are you doing?
Sam starts folding the papers and mixing them up. —The council calls Sir Hamilton to the pit!! Please choose your horse and weapon for the fight (lane and bowling ball) —Sam reads Lewis's name from the paper she picks up, and then she selects another one. —Warrior Dobrev to the fight! —cheers are heard, and Mick and Carlos pat Millie on the arm and back; Vettel massages her shoulders when she stands by her approach area. —Knight Wolff to the pit! And last but not least, Warrior Bonnington, too! —there were only five lanes. —You all brave souls are to fight buffoon Norris for a kiss of the Lady. Lord Vettel and I will oversee the combat.
—Hey! —Lando complains, pouting. Then, George starts motivating him, and they start making stupid grunts and jumps before the bowling round begins.
—The battle commences now! —Sam calls.
—You really need to stop watching House of the Dragon —you tell her.
—It's official: Bono is the worst player I have seen —Vettel interrupts, watching Bono be the first to get disqualified. —Is it okay if I leave you a second? If I don't go and bother Lewis every time to time, I get anxious —Sebastian sweetly tells you.
—Go, honey —You pat his hand and let him go. You two were watching the competition unfold together.
Lando, Lewis, and Toto were really good at it, but Millie was in a league of her own.
—How can someone so tiny have such a steady grip? —Lewis tells her she was in the lane next to his.
—Lew, I gladly would share with you all my secrets if I wasn't determined to win this —Millie replies.
—So you really want to kiss her? —he is curious, and a little smile forms on his lips.
—Look at Y/N, I wouldn't mind, but I don't want to. I think all five of us here hate losing... or love winning. Well, except for Lando, I believe he truly wants to kiss her.
"Not just him," Lewis thinks, looking in Toto's direction. After years of being teammates, he could read him like a book. It isn't just Sussie who has him shifting moods. Since you appeared, Toto began to act all weird. When Lewis noticed the looks you both exchanged, everything made sense to him.
And another fantastic strike from Lando.
Millie was almost right. Lewis loves winning and hates losing, but not when friends or feelings are in the middle. A lesson Sebastian taught him. So Lewis prepares and throws the worst shot he has ever made. His bowling ball bounces, hits the gutters, and invades the next lane, instantly disqualifying him.
Hisses and laughs fill the room. Lewis turns around, shrugs, smiles, and goes to take a seat. A minute later, he feels a thumb rubs his neck, caressing it. —Sir Hamilton, my good Sir, you sure are an honorable and respectable fellow —Sebastian tells him with his best Shakespearean voice.
—Stop talking like that, please.
—It doesn't please you how this low-grade peasant talks, good Sir?
The face Lewis gives him is priceless. Vettel laughs, and Lewis slides closer to him on the bench.
A loud "AAARGGH" comes from Lando as he dramatically throws himself to the floor. Wooff, what an awful shot.
—Luck next time, Lando! —Sam teases him as Carlos and George pass by, carrying him to the benches, one grabbing him by the legs and the other by the arms. Out of the competition, he was.
Now, it was a Dobrev vs. Wolff clash.
—Make our house name proud, niece! —Sam yells at her.
—You are having too much fun, aren't you? —you tell her.
—Sorry —Sam covers her face with her hands, monkey emoji-like. —Your knight made it to the final. Good for you, girl, but Millie is ruthless, so...
—I know! I can't watch any more. I'm too nervous! I feel like I will puke if Toto wins or if he loses.
—...she misses.
—WHAT?!
Okay, okay, this wasn't happening. Oh God. Sam turns to you and gives you a smile The Grinch will envy.
—Knight Wolff wins the battle! And takes the princess! —Sam announces. You shoot her a dead glare. —...'s kiss
Cheers are heard. Then everyone gets on their feet and starts chatting and bowling. Laughs and mocktails fill the room.
You pass Lando, still lying on the bench, on your way to get a drink. Now you need tequila in your system. —Oh, I'm so wounded! Only a kiss on the lips would heal me —he tries, offering his arms to you. The kid has the material to be an actor.
—Carlos!! Lando needs you!! —you joke back in answer, smiling at him. Lando gets on his feet in less than a second. —All good, I feel better! —he tells you, chuckling.
Toto is there when you reach the bar, sipping a whiskey on the rocks. —Not a drop of alcohol, you said? —you mock him.
—And you are here to ask for a Coke, right? —he teases you.
—A Paloma, please —you ask the bartender. —You could be a professional bowling player —Please let that become a meme, you think, and an image of a Toto in a complete bowling outfit surrounded by a group of senior citizens with white hair comes to mind.
—You picture it; that's why you are smiling.
—Nooo...
He arches an eyebrow.
—Fine. I admit it! —you sit on the bar stool next to him and rest an elbow on the bar counter, smiling like an idiot and gazing at Toto until he notices it and gets on his feet. 
—I haven't seen you play, let's go! —he tells you.
—Oh, if this really were the old ages and it was me who had to fight for your hand, consider yourself single for the rest of your life...
-
You all arrive together at the hotel and walk inside the lobby, making a lot of noise.
—Shuusshh!! Zack doesn't know I'm not in my room! —Lando whispers, looking around.
—Sure, he is hiding behind that plant, Lando. That old fart is so fucking asleep in his bed, mate! Calm down! —Vettel adds.
—Hey! You haven't kissed Toto yet —Lewis recalls and addresses you.
—Right! Give him his prize! —Mick adds.
You feel your cheeks turning red. —Are you all going to stare and make it all weird?
—YES! —everyone answers.
—You guys suck! —you complain, pretending to be annoyed at them.
—Not as much as I would like to. WHO SAID THAT?! —Millie dirty jokes, looking around.
—Millie Alexandria Dobrev! —Sam shouts, shocked. —I can't believe you...
Between giggles and two Croatians fighting in the background, you kiss Toto for the first time.
With your left hand, wrap Toto's bicep and rest your right on his chest as you reach his lips on your tiptoes. The kiss is brief, delicate, more like a brush of lips, but it is enough to make the butterflies in your stomach go wild and to still be on cloud nine when you reach your room.
-
Monaco
You were so excited to be officially living in Monaco. It was your first week there, and you had never lived on your own before. And since Sam also resided there, you spent lots of time together. You two were enjoying the break and touring the city around.
Miami went terrific, and that kiss still made rounds on your head.
Sam and you were walking in the area close to your new place when you turned the corner and were greeted by this scene: A furious Monegasque girl screaming at the top of her lungs in French words that did not sound nice at all and throwing objects out the window while a man on the street was trying to picking them up and reason with said girl. Some people were staring, and others were rushing to pass by.
—Is that Charles?! —Samanta asks you, stunned, pointing to the guy crouched and picking up what looked like a pair of Jordan's.
Yeah, that was Charles Leclerc. You two look at each other concerned and rush to help.
—Hi —Sam shouts among the screams in French.
—Oh, hey, Sam —Charles looks pretty embarrassed.
You quickly offer him the almost empty tote bag you were carrying and speed walk to grab an open, worn-out cardboard box from the greengrocery next door. The three of you start getting his things inside while avoiding getting hit by the last objects thrown out.
—Thank you —he says to you. —My girlfriend went mental.
All of you hear a loud bang and look up; she shuts the windows dramatically. "More like ex-girlfriend now" you think.
—Merde —you hear Charles say. —My keys and wallet are inside there, fuck!
You can't avoid feeling bad for the guy. He looks so done with life right now.
—Ahm, Charles, if you want to join us, we are grabbing lunch. We can grab some cocktails, too; I'll treat you guys. You seem in desperate need of alcohol and a chat.
—You're right, I need alcohol, thank you. I would love to.
The three of you walk your way to a restaurant Charles loves. It was pricey, but you agreed to let him pick the place since you were spoiling him and trying to lift his spirits.
—Huff, why are all the streets in Monaco inclined? —you complain after climbing the fourth hundred stairs of the day. —On the bright side, tho, I just need to live here to skip leg day at the gym.
Charles laughs. That's good!
The face the hostess makes when you three arrive and place the second-hand cardboard box with Charles's things on the fancy counter - clothes, some books, sneakers, a Funko Pop of Charles himself for some reason, and what looks like Xbox controllers, a man's most prized possession - makes it worth it almost losing your legs to get there.
—Good evening. Table for three? Right this way. Terrace, as usual, Mr. Leclerc? —she asks.
—Yes, please.
You are led to your table. It was a sea-inspired high-cuisine restaurant. The ceiling of the place had a breathtaking art installation: A whale made from bamboo wind chimes. —The waiter is on his way; here is the food and mixology carte —she offers you. It takes you a long time to read the entire selection.
—Ask for whatever you guys want; the check is on me. Don't hold back —you offer them.
—Great, then! It would be two spritzes instead of one, please! —Sam gestures with her fingers at the waiter, who is already taking your order. Sam seems so happy and excited; for someone who grew up that rich, she loves getting stuff for free.
—I would like a Tequila and Tonic with two tequila shots, please —you finally choose.
—A margarita and two shots of tequila for me. To start —Charles orders.
The drinks arrive quickly. At the same time, you hear everything about Charles' toxic relationship, giving him the space to spit it all out; as more alcohol makes it to the table, the more details you get.
After a good couple of hours of free therapy, high cuisine, drinks, relationship advice, and tragic love stories, it got dark.
—Well, it was a damn good chat! I'm glad we were able to help you, my friend. But we better go —Sam says to Charles. —I'm walking you back to your place —she addresses you. —I have to wake up early tomorrow. Toto wants me to join the Mercedes' Zoom call at 7 a.m., and I don't want to see his annoying, angry face at me.
The thought of an angry Toto makes you bite hard the tiny chocolate cake you are eating as dessert.
—Oh, no worries! It's just all the way down the street; I will get there without problems —you say while savoring the remains of your cake.
—Are you sure? —She inquires. You forgot how protective of you Samanta was, even if she was younger than you.
—Yeah, go, go. It's never a good idea to make an Austrian guy angry —You joke.
Charles choked on his drink, laughing. —Sweet Lord.
Sam giggles, hugs you two goodbye and waits for her Uber.
—It's late, I'll walk you. There are plenty of good hotels near your building and the marina; since I'm not going home, I need to book a room —Charles mentions.
—If you don't mind, you can crash at my place; there's not much furniture yet, but you are welcome to stay —you tell Charles. He seems relieved.
Charles sees what you meant with "not much" - just a small table with no chairs, one kitchen counter stool, a mattress in the bedroom, another on the living room floor, and some boxes, making the place look way bigger - as you two enter your apartment.
—I just got the keys —you excuse yourself.
—Oh wow, this view reminds me of my grandparents' apartment view from growing up —He reaches the balcony fast. —Oh, look, you can see the old side of Monaco from here! Good memories! —He ignores your comment, not caring much about the furniture or decor.
He seems in a better mood than before.
—Well, let me know if you need anything. Sleep well! —you say, on your way to your bedroom.
—Thank you, good night!
You hear noises outside your bedroom's open doors a few minutes later. Charles moves his mattress nearer the plug on the wall and connects the charger you lent him to his phone. With that change in the arrangement, you are both placed facing each other in different rooms and with distance in between.
Since none of you seemed able to fall asleep that night, you better keep chatting, each of you resting your back against the wall, relaxing, and him crossing his arms behind his head.
—So you are besties with Sam?
—Yes, she was one of the first people I met when I arrived in Belgium —you answer and look out of your bedroom's massive floor-to-ceiling window to the beautiful sea and the tiny-looking lights of Monaco. He stays silent, waiting for you to continue.
—So, how was growing up here? —You ask him and were sincerely curious but also want to switch the subject of conversation from you to him.
He tells many anecdotes of his childhood and buzz about some of the high society Monegasque families. He seems to enjoy gossip, and you are here for it.
Until you feel your eyes shutting down and fall asleep with the sound of his voice.
-
Two weeks later, Charles was still staying at your place; there was no furniture yet, however. By the third week, you arrive home, and all of Charles' things are filling the space. He moved "his bed" to one of the guest bedrooms and packed the living room with boxes. His piano starts serving you two at your dining "table." You always ate there, sitting, standing, taking turns: breakfast, Charles, lunch, you, etc.
He is just one box away from officially becoming your roommate. Of course, you don't mind. After many years of feeling alone, you desperately needed a friend and its company.
Charles' wireless speaker is the most significant addition to the apartment; it was never turned off, both of you being obsessive music maniacs, constantly introducing new music and artists to each other.
It is your turn to pick a song, and you want to lift the spirits while unpacking boxes and arranging things, so you turn the volume all up and hit play. Bad Bunny's "Yo perreo sola" started blasting.
You start singing and dancing to the beat, shaking it, and then Charles joins you in the chorus, singing the lyrics perfectly and throwing some great dance moves. You two start twerking.
—You know this song? Wait, you speak Spanish?! —you ask loudly, almost screaming. The music is so loud.
—My mom is Colombian. Didn't I mention that? My dad is the Monegasque one. I know my reggaeton and merengues by heart —he screams back. —I know all the good clubs in the city with this type of music, we should go and dance our asses off.
—Oh, for sure we are!
Another level of friendship is unlocked.
-
The three of you are inseparable. It is the weekend, and Charles took you and Sam on his boat sailing to an excellent spot to take a swim. Coronas, good music, sun, and fresh water fill your day.
You came up with a competition to see who jumped out of the boat the funniest way because you three were dumb. Charles wins by jumping and agitating his arms and legs like an old cartoon falling or very Gaga at the Super Bowl. Your stomach hurts from laughing, and your face from smiling.
After that, you all lay flat on your stomachs like iguanas under the sun, getting tan atop the boat; you don't remember a day nearby when you felt so happy. You felt at home with those two by your side.
-
It was around 4 a.m. and pitch black when Charles was suddenly awakened by sorrowful sounds coming from your bedroom.
He rushes and quickly opens the door, not caring to knock. He finds you crying, curled in your bed; you look like a total mess with red eyes, messy hair, and softly shaking, and Charles reacts like a headless chicken, pacing frantically around the room before getting to his senses and starting supporting a very troubled you.
—I got an idea that could help you feel better! —he tells you.
—Yeah?
—You trust me?
You nod.
—Let's go! —he offers you his hand and leads you out.
You take the lift to the basement parking lot, where Charles' Ferrari is all poorly and crocked parked outside lines of your apartment's parking spaces - that man was a great driver but terrible at parking - next to it is his powerful Ducati Panigale black motorbike is waiting for you.
Soon, you two are on his bike, crossing the streets of Monaco at full speed. Getting further away from the city and into the road. You tightly wrap your arms around him as he tells you you are entering the highway, and he begins to speed, pushing the bike's engine.
You could feel the fresh nightly ocean breeze hitting your body and entering your pores, every time more violently as you moved and Charles kept speeding up. You could see the full moon reflecting on the ocean waters. It was a clear night, with no stars in sight.
You love the rush and adrenaline of this speed ride. Charles speeds even more, and you hear the violent roar of the motor, the bike reaching its maximum. Then, in that brief moment, you get why all drivers are passionate about F1. Now you get it. Your sad tears become happy ones. You have never experienced something like this before, and it makes you feel so alive. The air feels so cold and harsh at the speed you are going that you almost feel it cutting your skin. It is a sensational feeling.
Charles then starts to slow down till he parks the bike and turns the engine off, helping you get on your feet, and you two lay on the grass after arriving at the destination.
—What a view! —you let out. The two of you are far away from the city, and you can see Monaco at the distance from the cliff you are on top of.
—This is my secret spot. I have been coming here since I was young when I felt I needed to clear my mind or wanted to escape everything. This view humbles you and calms you down at the same time —Charles confesses.
—Thanks for sharing it with me —you say to him, extremely grateful.
—It's the least I can do.
You can hear the waves hitting the cliff rock below you, and you admire the infinite ocean in front of you. The two of you sat there for a long time.
—Whenever you feel ready to talk about it. To open up about your past, who you are, or why you cried tonight, I will be here to listen —Charles offers you, breaking the comfortable silence. He is a kind and sweet person, a good person. And you aren't used to that.
He places his hand on top of yours just briefly, and you feel so happy to have a friend, to have him, no love feelings, no desire in between, just genuine friendship and honest support. 
He deserves the truth, and you want to let him know, but you are afraid of the repercussions. You don't want to get judged or, worse, to lose him.
-
Charles has been paying attention to you these past weeks and has noticed how you avoid or change subjects whenever your past or private life gets mentioned.
Every day that passes, he gets to know you more. It is just a matter of time before the truth comes out.
To be continued... < Previous chapter | Masterlist | Next chapter >
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sirfrogsworth · 6 months ago
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I got a screen calibrator thingie.
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I'm starting to edit photos for actual clients and if they are going to be printing any of these images I have to make sure my display is as accurate as possible.
I went through and looked at all of my recent edits to see if any of them were egregiously out of whack except for that one weird photo of the red baby that seems to only be red on my Samsung phone. Thankfully everything else looked close to how I intended. So that is a relief.
Color accuracy used to be a much worse problem. In the old days you could look at identical displays from the same company and they would have completely different colors. But now with the exception of the cheapest of the cheap, every display in the last 5 years is calibrated at the factory. Though TVs are a mixed bag because the "standard" or "vivid" modes are usually set as default so they stand out in stores and most people don't know to change that to the cinema or movie mode to get the accurate colors.
Oh, and did you know the ambient light can affect color accuracy too? So if you aren't looking at my images in a darkened room then your eyeballs could be seeing them way different than my intentions.
Makes me want to pull my hair out.
From now on you all have to come over to my house when I publish an image. We'll have a little viewing party and I will bake everyone cookies and we'll head to the basement and turn out the lights and you can be all, "That baby is the perfect amount of red."
I think going forward I will adjust according to my calibrated screen and if my colors look funky on your device I can just say, "Not my fault, Datacolor Inc. says your screen sucks. Deal with it."
Actually, I would like to get an iPhone as a reference display.
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Combined with my Samsung phone, I'd be able to see how my images look on ~80% of smartphones. And I could be reasonably sure my colors are decent for the majority of folks who see them.
But iPhones be spendy so that will have to wait, as my finances took a sudden infuriating turn recently. But hopefully I can keep getting clients to help me stave off homelessness. You'd think close family would be concerned about something like that. I think I'm just going to choose my family from here on out.
Wow, this post about colorimeters took a dark turn.
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exorcqism · 11 months ago
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𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐔𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐔
„𝐂𝐇𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐌𝐀𝐒 𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐑?”
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CW;; general content. afab!reader, no sex, all fluff and the cute stuff. teen!geto, teen!gojo, no uses of y/n. not proofread so i apologize in advance for any mistakes if they’re made.
: ̗̀➛ art creds by;; currently unknown. dividers are not mine, if you own these, you may claim them in comments.
: ̗̀➛ WORD COUNT;; 1.88K
dark mode recommended
do not copy this plot. i’m perfectly fine with inspirations but give creds. if this plot his stolen in any way, the post will be taken down and you will be blocked.
𝐃𝐀𝐊𝐎𝐓𝐀𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒 ✉️🖇️;; since christmas is on monday,, why not make a themed story with the non-sorcerer hater?? in his teens ofc. hope ya enjoyyyyy reblog to support meeeee and if you want more :D
another note: trying a new layout 😵‍💫 i’ll see if i like it or not.
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“satoru, no..” geto rolled his eyes. it was christmas time. a chilly saturday afternoon and suguru was going to cook a christmas dinner.
a ham (which he told himself that he’d buy on his own), yams, macaroni and cheese, dressing. whatever popped into his head to cook…another thing for him to groan at when he was struggling to follow the directions. and gojo attempting to bring his nonsense into his home wasn’t gonna solve anything.
“why nottt? you’re bringing that girl over, why can’t i come?” gojo asked. geto wasn’t really listening, he was in the middle of feeding his snake, suguru, which he named after himself because he couldn’t think of anything better and eventually, he thought the name fit.
“geto?”
“ah, sorry. like i said, no. you’ll make a mess and you’ll have kay all pissed off because you keep pulling on her tail. then you whine when she scratches you.” geto finally replied. kay was geto’s fluffy white cat with blue eyes. she loved being around geto and anyone else who he willingly brought around…but with gojo it was a love-hate relationship.
“she jumped on me first..” gojo trailed off. geto sighed, still holding the phone up to his ear. he knew that if he kept denying gojo of stopping by, he’d probably just pop up without his permission anyway.
“hurry up and get here.” geto said a bit sternly despite the small smile on his face. “and would you bring me some saké? i ran out last night.”
“on my way!” gojo beamed before hanging up. geto adjusted his sweater and shook his head as he placed his phone down on the counter. the slim male would put his hair up into his usual ponytail and begin to take everything out of the cabinets that he needed to cook.
kay would meow a bit loudly over the clanging of pots and pans, assuming that she’d get some food too.
“right…” geto sighed. “gimme a second.”
quickly, geto walked over to the cat feeder that he ordered off amazon a couple weeks ago and pressed the button to dispense some food and immediately, kay ran past him to eat her food.
the male felt like he was already about to go crazy because of all the things he had been doing at once. turning on the speaker, geto would turn on a song that he remembered that you recommended to him. he loved hearing your recommendations, even though he never listened half the time and he’d play it off like he forgot.
‘no one knows’ by brent faiyaz began playing from his tv and geto was already enjoying himself while he had been waiting on you and his second guest. he’d light a cigarette as he vibed to the song playing from his tv, sliding around the hardwood floor in his socks.
“one stick of butter…three tablespoons of flour…” geto mumbled the ingredients you wrote down to make macaroni, his index finger underlining each word as he read.
as geto began to cook, mixing ingredients together and tossing the partially finished product into the oven, the doorbell rang. he was kinda hoping it was gojo since he was getting thirsty. his choice was incorrect though. upon his snow covered doorstep, he saw you all bundled up in your cute puffy winter coat, grey scarf with a matching hat.
“hi,” you smiled at him as you stepped into the house, gently stomping the snow off your boots on the carpet. geto hugged you and gently kissed your head.
“hey, you been okay?” geto asked as he’d walk back into the kitchen. you take off your coat and everything you’ve been wearing to keep your warm and put it up on one of the clothing hangers in his closet.
“yeah, i’m fine besides nearly sliding off the road from the ice,” you chuckled. kay rubbed her head against your leg, greeting you before walking off. “you?”
“i just woke up not too long ago. i wanted to hurry up and cook before i forgot and i starve to death.” geto answered. you follow geto into the kitchen, and the place already smelled nice. this was normal behavior for geto though. he always kept things clean and smelling good. he’d freak out if someone (gojo) stepped on his carpet with his shoes on.
“you wouldn’t starve to death. you know i’ll come bring you something to eat…my family cooks still.” you say. geto nodded, barely listening to you as he quickly grabbed out some cups, expecting some saké when gojo made it there.
speaking of gojo, the front door swings open and a freezing gust of wind blows through the house. geto’s head snapped over to the front door and his pupils retracted out of pure shock and slight irritation.
“close the door, dammit.” geto shouted. gojo sprung through the door holding a brown paper bag and shut the door behind him.
“i’m here!” gojo said in a sing song tone.
“hey, jack frost.” you chuckled at gojo’s goofy entrance into your boyfriend’s home. it was a bit funnier knowing that geto was already sizzling in irritation.
“about time,” geto grumbled before snatching the bag from the icy haired male and peeking down into the bag. he pulled the glass from the bag and saw that it wasn’t exactly what he asked for. he sighed.
“i said saké not soju. and what the hell is this?” geto pulled out a treat that was wrapped up and a small paper bag.
“same difference…and it’s kikufuku,” gojo smiled, “i bought one but they gave me two extra. pretty interesting coincidence, huh?”
“you’re a pain in my ass already.” geto huffed, taking a bite out of the sweet treat. he raised his eyebrows, clearly enjoying it. the male held up the treat to your lips, which you would take a bite out of also. it was pretty good. you were expecting to hate it.
“go sit on the couch. don’t touch shit, don’t look at shit, just relax. i’m going to the store to go get a ham.” suguru instructed to gojo but he already had a feeling that gojo just wouldn’t listen.
“yes sir.” gojo put his thumb up before he’d pour himself some soju in one of the cups that geto had set out on the kitchen island and walked to the living room.
geto turned to you, taking a small drag from his cigarette. “you wanna go with me or do you wanna stay with …” geto pointed over in gojo’s direction. you smiled and nod.
“hey, i’m still here.” gojo shouted.
“shut up and drink your soju.”
twenty minutes later, you and geto arrive at the supermarket. the place was busy and geto wanted to be home as soon as he got the ham. while geto wanted to be in and out, you were wandering around, your eyes sparkling at the christmas decorations but grimacing when you saw the amount of krampus christmas cards on the shelves.
“ew..” you mumbled at the ugly art before walking off to find something else to entertain you. after a bit of walking, you found yourself in the bakery section. it smelled amazing. a bunch of fresh cookies and cupcakes were set out on the shelves and you couldn’t help but pick up a couple boxes. surely geto wouldn’t care.
“you’re gonna eat all this?” you heard a familiar voice say. you turned around to see geto who had been holding onto the shopping cart that had a bag, which you assumed was the ham.
“well, no. i was thinking that we have a little christmas party. all the food you’re making isn’t gonna be enough for just you and me…and gojo if you even invite him over for dinner.” you suggest. geto hummed.
“no.” he said bluntly. “eat all that stuff and share with gojo…you know how much he likes sweets and all that other junk.”
you sigh, knowing full well that geto would say no. as much as he liked being festive, he wasn’t going for a full on party. not at his place at least.
“you know what…i’ll think about it.” geto said. he didn’t wanna be a grinch but he also didn’t feel like looking at your sad and mopey face for the rest of the day because he said no to a christmas party.
your eyes light up and a big smile stretches across your lips before you hug geto tightly, obviously excited. suguru sighs but he smiles a bit himself. he couldn’t lie, he did enjoy seeing you happy. why not give your idea a chance?
when you both arrived back home, geto fumbled with the keys for a moment, his hands aching from the cold. when the door was finally unlocked, the cold winds rushed through the door, pushing the smoke that was coming from the kitchen out of the way. geto wasn’t worried because he didn’t smell any burning food. it was probably his incense.
geto was shocked. so shocked he almost dropped the food. he was able to hold onto it. the house was a bit of a mess. suguru was gone out of his terrarium, gojo was nowhere in sight at the moment, and kay…well she was fine. she was sitting on the cat tree looking more annoyed than choso on a wednesday morning.
“satoru!” geto yelled as he placed the ham down onto the kitchen island and began walking around the house quickly to find gojo. “i’m gonna kill him.” you heard the black haired male mumble as he checked each room…even the storage room.
gojo emerged from the dining room with suguru hanging around his shoulders. he had been wearing his round sunglasses and that white dress shirt that had the sleeves rolled up. the male lifted his hand and pulled the glasses down from over his eyes.
“oh. hey guys.” gojo smiled before geto took off his shoe and threw it at the other, aiming straight for the head. you couldn’t help but laugh when you heard the sound of the shoe hitting gojo’s head then bluntly hit the floor.
“satoru…” geto began, “what did i tell you when you first got here?” his teeth were clenched together and he had a smile on his face that obviously wasn’t very friendly.
“um…you said,” gojo paused, thinking of what was said. gojo knew better but he just wanted to make geto even more angry. “you said look at shit, touch shit…and don’t relax.”
“that isn’t what i said you mono-brain celled monkey.” geto hissed. he’d walk over to gojo, taking suguru off of his shoulders and returning the snake to his terrarium.
“you’re lucky i’m not gonna make you clean up.” geto grumbled before pouring himself some of the soju that he swore up and down that he didn’t want to drink because he had a taste for saké instead.
“seriously?” gojo raised his eyebrows before being hit in the head with geto’s other shoe.
“get your ass in that living room and clean this hell hole up. and do it right!” geto glared at the icy haired male but his yelling and angry looks only made gojo laugh.
“okay okay, i’ll go clean. don’t drink up all the—”
“move it!”
𝐄𝐍𝐃.
⋆。࿇ ·࣭࣪̇˖ 𖦹°༅༚
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cellarspider · 7 months ago
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For those in the northern hemisphere, we're experiencing a solar storm right now (May 11, 2024) that's bringing auroras down into lower latitudes! If you're at or just below 40 degrees north or south (Madrid, Beijing, Boulder CO, NYC, Tasmania, the South Island, and Buenos Aires) , you have a good chance of visible auroras, especially if you don't have much light pollution in your northern or southern sky!
My area was clouded over, but I could tell something was happening for much of the night, because the thin spots in the high clouds looked significantly brighter than they should've at a moonless hour. I kept a window shade open to the north and kept things dark enough to watch the sky, and just around midnight I saw a gap in the clouds!
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To the naked eye, this looked like a pale haze that moved and pulsed in odd ways. But with the help of my phone camera's pro mode and some ten second exposures braced against a solid surface, I managed to capture these! These are directly from the raw image files, rather than the post-processed ones phones often output by default, so this is an honest look at what the camera sensor picked up.
The solar storm is likely to continue over the weekend, so if you're at the right latitude, keep an eye out. I also recommend those without DSLR cameras getting familiar with how to take long exposures on their phone--mine has a dedicated "night mode", but that was not enough to get these pictures! If the aurora is pale, you need at least ten seconds, and ideally the raw image files, usually hidden away in some sort of pro mode. The postprocessed outputs were actually more washed out for some reason.
Keep an eye on the skies, and the US National Weather Service's Space Weather page, which includes observations and forecasts for up to 45 minutes ahead of present conditions.
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dwobbitfromtheshire · 1 year ago
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Steve smiled as he watched Eddie move around his kitchen. He wore his usual dark clothing. He wore an aged Led Zepplin shirt that turned into a crop top and a pair of cut-off shorts that showed off his skinny but long legs that Steve couldn't help but admire. He wore the apron that the kids bought Steve as a joke for Mother's Day, but the joke was on them when Steve wore it proudly whenever they came over. Then he went full mom mode to get back at them. He kissed their injuries and wiped dirt off their face with his thumb. He also got their homework from their parents and stuck them proudly on his fridge. The final kick in the bucket was when he tucked them all in when they spent the night. They swore to never get him another Mother's Day gift for him again. Steve smirked at the flowery apron. It contrasted so much against Eddie's dark clothing, but somehow, Eddie pulled it off.
"The pearls represent your mother's oppression in her marriage, how she gave up everything to chase after a man who doesn't love her. She even gave up her own son, and I'm telling you now that I'm not going to be like her. As your friend, I'm here, and I'm grateful for everything that you've done for me," Eddie said as he made him breakfast. "You pulled me out of hell, and then you nursed me back to health. Now, you're housing both me and my uncle until we get our new place. As your friend, I will not abandon you. You've got another person who cares for you, and I promise, I swear to the Metal Gods that I will not leave you alone unless you want me to."
Eddie had a string of pearls around his neck, his hair pulled into a messy bun so they wouldn't catch. Weirdly enough, they looked good on him. Eddie was getting angry on his behalf after overhearing a phone call from his mother, a mother who could care less that her son had gotten injured again. He had been trying to ask if he could keep the pearls that had been bought for Steve’s mother after his father cheated the first time. She had never worn them and probably never would.
Steve let him keep them, and now here he was, cooking him breakfast before he had to work. They had actually argued on it, and so, Steve finally caved into letting him breakfast for him. He watched as he ranted, a smirk on his lips. No, Eddie would not make a good housewife. He would make a good househusband. They both would, and Steve could see it now. The both of them taking turns taking care of each other, treating each other like equals as they broke away from the hierarchy that was high school. It would be a true partnership.
Eddie placed their plates and cups of coffee down on the breakfast table before sitting down in front of him. Steve watched him, taking a sip from his World's Greatest Brother mug. Eddie shoveled food into his mouth, his cheeks filling up like he was storing food away for winter. Steve smiled at him, and Eddie swallowed his food, glaring at him.
"What? Do I have something on my face?" Eddie asked.
"No, you're perfect," Steve said with a fond smile.
What he meant to say was 'no, you're good', but it seems his mouth ran away from him. Eddie blushed and went back to eating, glancing at Steve every so often. Steve blushed and focused on eating. He was so focused on eating and thinking about Eddie that he lost track of time.
"Shit! I'm going to be late for work!" Steve cursed and began looking for his keys.
Eddie held them up with a smirk on his face. Steve took them gratefully before looking around the room.
"Don't worry about it, I'll take care of it," Eddie said. "Go."
Steve turned to leave but then stopped and looked at Eddie.
"I feel like I'm forgetting something," Steve said.
"Can't leave for work without your kiss, dear," Eddie said, batting his eyelashes, puckering his lips, and closing his eyes.
Steve furrowed his brows and put his hands on his hips for a minute. Did he really think he wouldn't do it? Steve grasped the back of his neck and pulled him in for a kiss. Eddie froze for a minute before responding eagerly. He wrapped his arms around Steve’s neck and pulled him closer. He nibbled on Steve’s bottom lip before breaking the kiss. Steve grinned.
"I wish I could take you and your pretty lips with me," Steve said. "It would make work so much more bearable."
"Maybe you can. What's a little rule breaking?" Eddie asked as he inflated his eyes.
"Fuck it. Yeah, you're coming with me," Steve said.
"Wait, what about - ?" Eddie asked, pointing at the dirty dishware.
"Go. I'll take care of it," Wayne's floated into the room as he walked in. "And I didn't hear or see anything that you didn't want me to."
"Thanks, Uncle Wayne!" Eddie exclaimed as he took off the apron. "I left some food for you too!"
Eddie allowed Steve to take his hand and pull him eagerly out the door. Wayne smiled fondly at his boys as he watched them leave. Meanwhile, Eddie was sprawled out in the front seat when Steve went to pick up Robin. She scowled at Eddie when she had to crawl into the backseat.
"Uh, I didn't realize it was take your metalhead to work day. If I had known, I wouldn't have left mine in Indie out by the dumpsters, you know, where they put the trash," Robin glared mockingly at Eddie, who flipped her off and reached behind him to pinch her leg causing her to shriek.
They didn't actually hate each other, but they did squabble like siblings, and in another life, Steve was pretty sure that they had been siblings.
"Behave," Steve scolded lightly.
"He stole my seat, Steven, but I'll let it go just this once since you managed to pull your head out your asses. . .the both of you," Robin said.
"How did you - ?" Steve asked.
"Your auras are screaming at me, my lovesick friends," Robin said and slipped on her sunglasses. "I'm going to get a few more shut eyes in. Wake me when it's time to actually do some work. You guys can just drag my unconscious body in, right?"
Steve laughed with Eddie as Eddie slipped his hand into his. Holy shit, he had never been happier.
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strayheartless · 7 months ago
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Thinking about autistic Riku…
Riku who wasn’t diagnosed until after he became a keyblade master, and that was only because Merlin took one look at him and was like “oh my sweet summer child.”
15yr old Riku at the peak of his masking having actual fits of physical rage in his bedroom that he doesn’t really have an answer for other than “today was hard” that are actually meltdowns. We’re talking throwing things, braking shit, rocking and hair gripping. The whole nine yards.
Riku who struggles comprehending why his friends make plans and then don’t follow them through. Like building the raft. They said they were going to do it, so he was doing it. Why was he the only one taking it seriously?
Riku who’s grasp on humour and sarcasm is good up to a point. Meaning he knows how to do it himself, but if it’s directed at him it takes him a hot second to sus it out. He usually ends up giving actual explanations to people for their sarcasm, even though he’s registered what it was, and then gets told “I was joking”. Which fustrated the hell out of him because he KNEW that!!
Riku who has really bad light sensitivity and it’s part of the reason he keeps his hair long for such a long time. Sometimes he kind of wishes he could have the blindfold back.
Riku who despite purposefully keeping his hair long, spends nearly every day tying it back because it’s too much, then taking it down because that’s too much, then putting it back up and taking it back down until he seriously considers taking a pair of scissors to it.
Riku who doesn’t like to be touched unless he’s initiating the touch. Sora is the ONLY exception to that rule, but even then Riku has days when he moves out of Sora’s hold because it’s too much.
Riku who’s special interest is Gummi ships and is VERY happy when they go to see Cid and the RGRC because Cid is the only one that can keep up with his 1000mph rants about mobility blocks and rotation weaponry.
Riku who values silence, and no one can figure out how he deals with Sora’s constant stream of chatter, until he one day moves his hair back to show Mickey the earplugs in his ears. He felt guilty about it for a long time until Sora told him he already knew about the plugs and didn’t mind, he just like being with him.
Riku who likes to play with kairis hair but can’t abide having his own hair touched.
Riku who will usually eat anything but if you give him avocado he will have the biggest sensory ick moment you’ve ever seen. Same goes for mushrooms.
Riku who steadfastly refuses to sleep in fuzzy PJ’s because “no thanks I’d rather be flayed alive, it would be less stressful.”
Riku who, at aged 8, told kairi that if she put that scarf around his neck he would “absolutely start screaming” and then did when she insisted he’d catch cold. Scarfs are demon cloths.
Riku who would rather sit at the back of squalls office in the corner while the other man works, than sit in the science lab with everyone else because Squalls office is quiet and he likes that Squall says what he means.
Riku who ignored his own emotional, physical and sensory needs/wellbeing for months while looking for sora and ended up having a meltdown in front of Mickey and master YenSid.
Riku who now has an app on his Gummiphone that Cid, Squall, Even and Ienzo designed to help him build routine and regulate/track his emotional well-being.
He relies of the breathing exercises game a lot in Quadratum.
Riku who is the reason chip and dale created dark mode in phone settings because nobody could figure out why he barely used his phone until he admitted that it always felt like he was looking into the sun.
Riku who has keyblade related Stims, like tapping the flat of the blade with his nails or messing with the key chain when he’s stressed.
Riku who also has stims such as: flicking his tongue inside his mouth while he’s thinking; twirling strands of his hair incessantly; scrunching his nose; clicking his fingers when he’s distressed; tapping the toe of his boot against the opposite heel when he’s stood still; imperceptible swaying; holding his thumb knuckle gently between his teeth; soft popping noises with his mouth; tapping his palms with the tips of his fingers.
I have more but this is it for now.
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