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There was always an odd familiarity: the expensive perfume Minh was still using combined with the smell of minted hair shampoo from the younger. A cracked cup with an orange cat, cold coffee with a hint of milk, and a simple white one, barely any remains of the green tea with honey. Neither of the two men ever required words to share their state of emotions, not when lips could tell it just by worshipping skin. The way how arms curled around a broader figure whose short dark hair danced in wild curls after a shower likely did not offer the comfort Isagani had been looking for.
Minh always found himself so willingly offering it, whatever it was. They could talk, sit in silence, or make the world go away for a little while, like this. Bodies tightly entwined with one another. It wasn't one of 'those' days but why would it be any less?
Rough fingers brushed alongside the older's thigh, caressing it like satin when plumb lips made him gladly bare his neck, small gasps of want fleeing his own as passionately as always. Isa never needed to ask him what he would like, body always betraying and the other man was more than skilled to read his desires like an open book by now.
Isagani bit down on Minh's earlobe, resulting in a needy whine that led to the other chuckling. Oh, it was not exactly a secret just how quickly Minh could be aroused at times if it was with somebody he found desirable and with the way they had gotten rid of their clothes so keenly and quick,. What was there left to pretend it was not just like this? Maybe the shop owner had as much tension stored as his friend.
The whine was much more embarrassing, he couldn't swallow it when Isa's fingers curled so confidently around his hard erection to stroke it teasingly slow. Minh bit his lip, throwing glances at the other man. Isagani came here to let loose of his tensions and free himself from thoughts but it never changed his overall teasing nature. Something he always enjoyed about him. "Oh? I take it you have no patience today at all," he chuckled, lips already busy attacking his neck with more little bites and kisses.
"Tch … like that's not what you came for!" Minh grinned, now starting to teasingly rock his hips right into the younger's hand, and gave his cock a firm squeeze, leading to another moan.
"Isa!" But the other man was only laughing before finally starting to stroke him properly, causing an instant rush of pleasure. "I just never get tired of those little sounds you are making, with you it's so easy," he breathed, shifting the comfortable weight just a little to the side. Maybe under other circumstances, he'd have complained but now, he was more focused on the quick sensation. Too quick but what can he do?
Isagani was all focused on getting Minh over the edge, the way how his hand moved faster, grip tightened that caused more than one curse and moan to follow after another, until his breath fastened and he couldn't hold it back, not that he had to because the younger was a giving lover. Isagani never seemed to mind whatever mess they were causing, instead, he waited for it to feel right and only let go once he was confident that Minh was satisfied.
Yet, the greatest difference between his occasional lovers and Isagani was the sweetness after, the way how Isa never withdrew but instead, placed more kisses over his sensitive neck or his lips, playing with his hair until he was certain Minh had calmed down and caught his breath.
His long hair was an absolute mess at this time as dark eyes slowly locked with his friend`s.
"Now you look much more relaxed," he laughed, leading to Minh reacting with a very playful eyeroll. "You are just out for the compliments!" The little grin was saying everything.
Asshole! Minh looked at the younger man before grinning back, gaze now pointing towards Isa's very obvious tension. "Well, I guess repaying the favor is the best kind of help, right?" He gave the dark-haired a playful push back who chuckled. The way how his firm muscles tensed in anticipation was telling that Isa knew what Minh would do to help him let go as well.
Fingers were quick to reach out for Minh's long hair, gently playing with it. How did Isa always manage to get his hands clean without him ever noticing?
The older man trailed down kisses, from his chest over his muscular torso and reached the thighs. When their gazes met, the playful shine was telling enough. Minh licked his lips, grinning a little.
#« writing with myself; »#usfw cw#sometimes#i write snippets like that attempting to improve#i usually just delete it after but#since the dash is dead at this hour#« minh; »#« isagani; »
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Hello sorry for tagging. I am very sick, my asthma is at its maximum level, my nose freezes, I have no medicine or food. I am in bad shape financially, I am a black disabled, who uses multiple medications, I pay for my food and lodging
Unfortunately I do not have all the resources to keep me safe, that is why I need your help, whatever you can contribute to me will be of great help.
Okay kids, are you ready for a lesson in SPOTTING ONLINE SCAMS????
*please don't message this person or harass them-- i do recommend that you report and block them, however.
right now it's incredibly important to give time, attention, and money to online fundraisers. but it's also incredibly important not to let scammers take advantage of that and steal money that could actually save lives right now.
firstly-- if we go to this person's blog, and navigate to "archive--"
this person's blog has only existed for a few days, only has a handful of generic posts (many reblogged multiple times,) and made their first reblog the same day that they posted their "fundraiser" post. this is a MASSIVE red flag.
please also note that neither their ask nor post actually mention palestine or gaza at all, but it's still tagged with "free palestine" and "gaza."
though this one should obviously be taken with a grain of salt, it is also worth noting the poor grammar here, because this can be (but isn't always!!!) another red flag. Note also that all the details are really vague and don't quite make sense... user describes "enduring cold" and their "nose freezing" though it's the middle of the summer. This user says that they're "sick," but doesn't really offer any further details about this. This user says that they need money for "resources," but don't elaborate on what exactly they need. They vaguely elude to a need for lodging, caretakers, and medicine, but don't actually give us any details-- despite this they have a "$1200" goal. What is this specific goal of $1200 for? Is that the cost of their medication? Overdue medical bills? Cost for rent this month?... They also apologize in their ask for "tagging" me... but they didn't tag me. They sent me an ask.
Another red flag is that their link labeled "Fundraiser link" leads directly to a Paypal donation page rather than a gofundme or anything else. If someone chooses to collect aid through paypal, venmo, etc. instead of through a gofundme, that's not a huge issue in and of itself... but it is fishy that it's mislabeled like this.
And if we GOOGLE this user's tumblr name or paypal name, we can find results like this:
This also led me to find them on @/kyra45's blog on their list of current scam accounts.
Despite all this, they have close to 100 reblogs from well-meaning people trying to signal boost and ask for donations on their behalf.
With the current situation in Palestine and the amount of actual, legitimate fundraisers and donations being circulated right now, for Palestine, Sudan, the Congo, or otherwise, it is more important than ever to be aware of people who are trying to take advantage of the situation for their own personal gain. Whenever possible, please take the time to do some due diligence when you receive messages like this and check to see if a fundraiser is legitimate! It always sucks for someone to be the victim of a scam and lose money to someone playing pretend on the internet... but it sucks even more when that money could have gone to people in actual, acute, dire need.
Here's some more information about spotting scams on tumblr! Shoutout to tumblr user kyra45 for compiling this, and for all the other hard work they do-- thanks.
Here's an actual, vetted, and legitimate campaign that could use your support. After receiving this ask, I went and donated. If you have the means to do so, it would be amazing if you did so, too.
[ see ALL gaza funds campaigns here ]
#long post#sorry but this makes me deeply upset so im funneling it into. this. considered putting it under a readmore but like. actually... no i wont#important#palestine#donations#mutual aid#fundraising#scammers#im gonna go and fucking... reblog a bunch of fundraisers after this... i dont reblog enough of them....#usually i just delete scam asks like this but the fact that they are using the palestine/gaza tags#to falsely imply theyre a palestinian in need of aid and to try to trick ppl/gain attention... really makes me quite angry :')
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I'm confused, durge. Do you like Solrook or Solavellan? Your post bashing Solavellans contradicts your recent reblogs defending them. What are your actual thoughts on these ships? Because I cannot tell.
alright i feel like this needs to be said here and now. buckle up because this is long, and probably the only time i will be commenting on this ever again.
i do not hate the solavellan ship. i have stated many times across all my socials that i used to be a hardcore solavellan shipper. i am IN LOVE with my lavellan. i literally started playing the dragon age series because i heard about the betrayal in solas' dai romance, and i am a sucker for angst. i played through dao and da2 just to romance him with my lavellan in dai.
when dav came out, first day of release, i set my world state up to be solavellan. i redeemed him and sent her off to the fade with him. point blank.
however, even before i started shipping dreadrook, i was wary of solavellan FANS. not the ship, the FANS. i am a solas lover to the ends of the earth and back. i can get behind ANY ships that involve him. what i cannot, and will not ever, get behind is the absolute infantilization of both solas and lavellan that many solavellan shippers i have interacted with engage in.
i had to leave and the solasmancers subreddit because they bashed the fuck out of epler for having SANE and NORMAL takes on solas' villainous behavior. because: YES. solas is a VILLAIN. he is an ANTAGONIST. and for some reason, most of the solavellans i was friends/mutuals and most other VOCAL solavellans i saw refused to admit as much.
they baby solas, they baby their self-insert lavellans, and they romanticize the ship without acknowledging the (imo delicious) potentials for a tragic, toxic, and morally-grey partnership. they whiddle solas down to this abused, kicked, drowing puppy that must be saved- nay, can only be saved by their adoring, kind, never-angry-always-understanding lavellans.
i also dislike immensely the way rook gets dragged through the mud, killed off, belittled, bullied, etc. by some (not all) solavellans who cannot handle solas having insane chemistry with another character. because the chemistry between dreadrook is insane.
i could drone on for hours my issues with the solavellan fans that twist and bend the relationship dynamic between the two, but i won't. it's been regurgitated by so many people so many times, and i would be adding nothing new to the conversation.
my canon lavellan romanced solas and moved on to cullen after the events of trespasser. my canon lavellan would never leave her life behind in southern thedas to follow solas into the fade for eternity, especially not after he killed varric. if your lavellan would do that, then kudos to you! really! i am so thankful many solavellans have a way to get their happy endings! i did it the one time for the novelty, and never will again.
but i can't stand solavellans who can't admit to themselves that their pairing is just as toxic as (if not more than) the dreadrook pairing, and i doubly cannot stand solavellans that baby the fuck out of the pairing. these are two grown (pixelated) adults. they are not infants. their relationship is built on lies and deceit (again, delicious dynamic to me!) and it heavily annoys me when people cannot admit that.
THIS IS ALL TO SAY: i do not hate ALL solavellans. my bestest mutuals and online friends are major solavellan shippers. i am a solavellan shipper. i just so happen to enjoy dreadrook a thousand times more, and therefore have my lavellan married to cullen in my canon world state while my rook and solas frolick off into the sunrise together.
tldr; it's a CERTAIN TYPE of solavellan FAN that i do not enjoy interacting with. i do not think ALL solavellan fans are like this. i KNOW they are not. it's just the ones that ARE happen to be the loudest in a room at any given time. that is all.
#i desperately feel this needs to be said#you guys constantly put words in my mouth#usually i delete asks like these but after today#seeing how solavellans treated fang#a FELLOW solavellan shipper#by calling them a sv traitor#just because they multiship#it pissed me off immensely#it's the fans#not the ship#and it's not ALL the fans either#just a very VOCAL LOUD OBNOXIOUS subset of fans#either way here take my thoughts memorialize them and stop asking me this question#fandom critical#solavellan fandom critical#solavellan critical#dreadrook#solrook#rook x solas#solas x rook#dragon age#dragon age veilguard#ask answered#durgeapologist#fuck also forgot#dav spoilers
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I feel like I've seen most of what interests me in FiMFiction for the time being, so I read through some good ol' reliable Stardew Valley fanfics last night, only to realize.
Haley x Female Farmer is basically Rarijack. Rarijack adjacent.
#personal#delete later#not art#unfortunate that i'm really not into the BIG popular ships in stardew#like. i downloaded talkohlooey's character sprites for my sdv because the men just look so much better#with talkohlooey sebastian actually looks like a cute guy i'd wanna date. default seb looks like a very very specific white boy.#like. the mod of an anime community discord server.#he looks like every white anime fan i knew in high school who very intentionally tried to look and dress more asian#so unfortunately i'm not really into any of the male bachelors. They are All White.#I went after Alex at first but he's a white bread jock.#So I'm really not interested in ships with Shane or Elliot or Sebastian which make up 2/3 of the romance fics#I do think Harvey is cute he has a lot of personality and he's a sweetheart#stardew expanded has victor AND olivia which is such a fucking win. Asians fuck yeah#I usually pursue Penny. Fluttershy vibes lmao#hopefully chocolatier has some dateable men who Aren't White.#Really can't recommend Talkohlooey's sprites more. Fantastic art style AND character design direction to boot. They made Emily Not#Terrifying Looking which is incredible.#still wish you could date the milfs though who said that#i said it. i'm fessing up. why did concernedape put all these women in unfulfilling marriages with mediocre/crappy men#what are you getting at.
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'Not even Hell will stop the Wrath of a retired Angel'
My hc is that Hell decided to yoink themselves one (1) retired demon to extract information or enact whatever revenge they seem fit for the whole bathtub debacle. What they hadn't account for was that a certain Angel, who is know to be quite territorial about the things he loves, would do anything to find their husband after weeks of missed calls.
Well, once he does which might have included summoning and trapping a very frightened and confused demon and pressing them very politely for information (after Heaven was useless as always), he comes up with a plan.
One might say Aziraphale was quite disgruntled, positively seething, maybe even willing to give smiting a try after finding out demons had abducted their partner.
So, filled with the wrath of God and being judt enough of a bastard to be worth knowing he decided the best course of actions is, of course, passive agressive diplomacy. I mean the demons don't know that he isn't actually immune to Hellfire and noone would be stupid enough to try the main entrance, so noone would actually expect an Angel to just waltz into the place like they own it.
Those demons certainly aren't immune to an Angel's Divine Intervention (of the lethal variety) and Aziraphale be damned if he didn't at least try and get their partner out of this in the most idiotically genius way.
#laufxson#crowley#good omens#good omens s2#aziraphale#fanart#this consists mostly off aziraphale looking unhinged and calmly telling them to release crowley#he's smiling the entire time#beelzebub isn't quite sure what's happening rn#they had a horrible day as usual and suddenly there's THE ANGEL infront of them#the angel's vibes are NOT it and feel quite murderous if given the chance#hastur fears he's going to get divinely deleted if he tries to leave again#ten minutes later a confused and disheveled looking crowley is thrown into his Angel's arms#aziraphale still won't tell them days after how he managed to free them#'i just told them very politely of the misunderstanding on their part and they conceded to having made a slight error of judgment'#'now don't fret over it my dear. i doubt it will ever happen again'
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I normally don't self promo fanfic but umm umm look guys its juice
Not finished + mind the tags with later chapters!! I have a few silly ideas for this :]
Also thank u @/eyebaus for being a big source of inspo without your works this probably would NOT even be a thing hii hiiiii hello o/
#self promo#may delete later#depends.#ferryv2#ultrakill#look i usually do not do this but i am going to pour my heart and soul into this#i will take this in a mature route in the next chapters so like. just be careful ok? ok#i will give you guys hot choco and tea after tho prommy#i am so silly#:33#i may be cringe but i am free ((sobbing
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(via "Post-Scratch Cats" Coffee Mug for Sale by Ashidoodle)
Anyway, so the reason I was trying to figure out Jane’s Glasses...
#findyourthing#redbubble#merch#homestuck#post scratch kids#alpha kids#dirk strider#roxy lalonde#jane crocker#jake english#my merch#ngl suprised RB just approved it instantly#usually they make me wait a bit before they approve fanart stuff#and then they also deleted some of the fanart stuff I posted even after it'd been approved... eh#I don't think I can change my shop name on there u_u#probably not gonna go ham on this like I did with FFBF before but idk these were fun to make#if I do post more stuff to RB then I might wind up reworking some of the stuff already posted there#change what products they're on - de-list some stuff - redraw other stuff - idk
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sharing some thoughts about deactivating here because it’s been difficult pondering idk.
#god i really really don’t want to do this. but i have to but i don’t want to but i have to but i don’t want to. and so on. you get the gist#though i guess i am more not wanting to let go of an idea or fantasy rather than reality#like i always wanted to be an active participant in fun oc art fandom writing etc etc communities#but all i really did was make way too many people uncomfortable with my worthless stuff.#like it and me are just not built for interacting with people lmao. especially when it comes to stuff like my characters or uh.#i don’t know you can’t call it art or writing just uh. creations i guess.#and like i knew that before i made this blog but then people started interacting with me and i thought hey maybe this’ll work out maybe i#can be better and then i so wasn’t. and for that i am very sorry.#(and i mean this is not the main reason why i feel like i have to do this but i can’t just go back like nothing happened on here lmao.#i deleted 90% of my shana posts i had/am having a crashout i gotta at least follow through after being so embarrassing#after being even more insufferable than usual haha. and if i stayed there would be even more people who feel obligated to stay around#i feel. and i so don’t want that. so just one more reason why i gotta be brave and just fucking do it.)#also i do realise that there’s the possibility of not deactivating and just logging off and leaving but every time i took a break like that#i always like felt a bit ‘better’/delusional & thought it���d be ok to return. sure that’ll happen again.which is why i have to be so drastic#like even if i made a new blog i know myself well enough to know that i’ll be too embarrassed to reach out to anyone again.#so it would really be a working solution to this problem. i really should just do it.#romeo’s wretched rambles#also a message to everyone telling me that they like shana and that he’s not a shit character to obsess over & more importantly share#with folks: appreciate the sentiment but there’s a lot of his evil you don’t know about.#i was implying some stuff here and there and some people i’ve told more privately but even they are missing like 25% of the shana.#those being the absolute worst parts of him. i am still absolutely obsessed with him but that’s my error to fix and i can’t subject#people to that anymore in good conscience. seeing people say they like him actively feels like i’m pulling a shana myself and deceiving#people with lies of omission sometimes. remember that lol. obviously ik that there r big differences but sometimes it just feels awful stil#so maybe he’s better contained in a separate private blog that i can torch once i get over this rot and just be done with this fucking char#again i don’t mean to say that i don’t appreciate the support but i’m sure many of your guys’ opinions would change If You Knew. you know.#(god. with the lies of omission thing. every day i learn more abt how i subconsciously write things that make me deeply uncomfortable lol)#(and that i fear. like. that wasn’t even intentional when i gave him that trait. i just realised that while typing this pointless mess lmao#anyways. thanks for readin if you made it this far. send me anon hate or something. hit me with an anvil and spit on my corpse if you will#i hope that at least by the end of this week i will have put my brave pants on and decided on what to do. sorry for being so annoying.
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Pros: friends are there, I can get updates I can't get elsewhere
Cons: being on twitter
#please vote im so unsure#actual cons are more like the fact i know ill doomscroll and not even enjoy it and look at all the drama there and whatnot#but that'll also just depend on me setting app timers on it or whatever maybe probably#not art#delete later#probably#also sorry to drop this after a month and a half of not posting lol#i know thats buisness as usual for me but i wanna post art again soon ive just been busy 👍
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do you guys ever feel too scared to reach out to a friend you haven't spoken to in a little bit bc i do. im TERRIFIED for some reason
#num speaks#ive got a few friends that i havent spoken to in a bit and i REALLY wanna talk to em but like#what if i annoy them. what if they dont wanna talk to me.#and like i wanna reach out bc... yk theyre my friends but then i got lost in my head and think all negatively#ALSO im scared bc i usually reach out so now i feel like if i do it again ill just be annoying#HELP!!! HELP ME!!! WHATS WRONG WITH ME!!#and like i know its stupid. but im always scared that my friends are annoyed with me and dont wanna talk to me anymore#and like what if they think its weird that im reaching out after a bit#BUT LIKE. IF IT WAS ME AND SOMEONE REACHED OUT TO ME ID BE SO HAPPY??#make it make sense....#pleak. i just wanna talk to my friends and not worry about being annoying.#am i... just a wuss????#anyway im just ranting bc ive been a tad bit worried about that sorry </3#ill probs delete later...#if i remember LMFAO
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.
I love Solas, and I love Solavellan, because I find the character and story so compelling, but sometimes I feel like a fake Solavellan
to me Ixchel and Solas has kind of always been about two friends who both suffer from the same affliction and they are the only two people who can ever understand it, the affliction being outside (duty, responsibility, guilt) and inside (inherent fatalism in philosophy, viewing the self as unworthy, haunted by despair) and though
they can't at first forgive themselves or find the strength within them to stay out of their dark spirals, they can do it for the other. and how important that is. that's love. the smooching and everything is on top. the knowing what dark predators haunt the other person's psyche and saying I'll be there with you when the wolves come, we'll survive together. the I know exactly who you are and how ugly it is and I love you for it and I see the beauty still. the I will never get tired of you even if youre never "fixed." that's love right. that's Ixchel and Solas to me.
so like yeah they have been Together for about like 170+ chapters. they're not being tested about being pulled apart by duty or fear anymore, they're testing the strength of that bond in those dark ugly moments that come for us all. and mostly theyre good. mostly they're just on an adventure together.
somehow it feels like I'm a fake Solavellan 🥲 like early dpdf captured something and... getting together, having truths revealed, this *aftermath* is like I left that behind somehow. like it's beyond what Solavellans want. idk. I think about other fics that are post- truth coming out and staying together and they're very different vibes, I think, you know?
I like my action/adventure fic, I like them together, I like having moments where they find that there is still a dark corner they haven't swept out into the light yet and the way it's still scary for someone to want to know those ugly parts of you that they maybe haven't seen yet. I like having them be mostly utterly confident in each others competency. I like them united against the unknown together. but like did everything about them peak in Here Lies the Abyss, you know? or maybe Wycome? I'm so nervous about everything in TBG :'( it's just hard for me RN in my heart idk to feel confident of like. where it Fits into fandom besides "blue loves lore and wants to explore metaphysics with Ixchel (new perspective) and Solas (wise, experienced guide)"
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh
#personal#this is very disjointed i cant really articulate it but#every couple of months i get a comment on brave guide#usually only one#specifically about the solavellan part of the fic#being not solavellan enough (needs more angst) or being not solavellan enough (needs to be completely healed and angst free)#and they eat at me yknow#lots of things about them eat at me#no matter how much i love them#Hhhhhhhh im going insane im so tired idk what im saying#also im#very keenly aware of what points in the fic friends/commenters stop reading#and it's hard not to feel like that's indicative of quality#even tho fic for me isnt about being the best product#its stream of consciousness sharing the fun scenes in my head and that's it#but still hard not to feel insecure#i see Solavellans on twitter going gaga about each other's fics in a very particular way that i think just#doesnt apply to dpdf after Here Lies The Abyss#and idk it's not jealousy but it's a weird lonely feeling#it's not loneliness either bc i do have loyal readers who Get It and are Here For It and tell me!#a blessing and a joy absolutely#but i guess it's doubt?#idk#delete later#if i remember
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man the bear SS3 EP6
#the thing that it’s almost impossible for older people to find new jobs#that corporates would just kick you out at any moment#the age limit on most job requirements makes my blood boil like the wdym you don’t hire people over 35. do people die at 40 or what#Tina job hunting and getting rejected over & over breaks my heart like#I know people over 40 getting fired during covid and they were being thrown into the void#bc every place just wants passionate young people with lower salary base#and the fact that some people just. don't have dreams#mikey stays in a family restaurant and tina works routine jobs#neither has that kind of fire or passion in what they do. they simply want to feed their family and be with people they love#I like the way that it’s not depicted in such a negative light as it usually does in media#It’s not positive either. it’s just neutral. natural.#maybe having big dreams is just not for everyone and that’s okay. It doesn’t mean you're soulless zombie#but the way mikey talks about carmy is exactly the same way I thought about many people I know#I get it. part of me would do anything if it could support myself and loved ones#but man at the same time I’m jealous as hell and would give anything to be one of those people#who know exactly what they want with dreams to chase after#that’s the dream. the dream is to have dreams.#delete later
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. not snz
on healing and on fear (tags)
#(typed this up at 3am and scheduling for later) no one needs to read this 🙏#today i went back to the site where i got injured back in may to partake in a sport which i haven't touched at all since the injury#and i think what struck me was the realization that#i don't know if i'll ever be able to stop being scared again :')#for a time climbing was very special to me...#it was one of the only ways i could feel myself improving so tangibly when improvement is usually so difficult to track#i liked seeing myself get better at something 😭 i liked going with friends and puzzling over the same problems... i liked having something#to look forward to after work. and perhaps having something to look forward to sounds simple... but for me it meant so much :')#for the first couple months after the injury i couldn't wait to get back into it#and then one day i woke up and i was just afraid#the fear feels so much more tangible now that i know i am not overreacting... it's awful knowing that in a way i was right to be afraid#i always knew there were risks associated; i have always been cautious#but i had just been starting to learn to be braver 😭#and fuck... today i stood there and looked at the wall and thought. how can i ever not be afraid again?#how can i go back to how things were before? when i loved this? when i could tell myself that - despite the fear - it was meaningful to try#i wanted to come away with the takeaway that i could take things slowly and get back into climbing - maybe precisely because#i remember so keenly how i loved it - but how could it ever be the same?#😭 i know this is just part of growing up but#in some ways i am tired of growing up... :') in some ways i just want that joy as it was then#delete later probably#i suppose i haven't lost anything but typing this made me sob for something i couldn't quite name
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*shows you guys what my sketch usually looks like* 🥴
#what i usually post here is just the finished piece so here's a sketch!#lol i mostly post sketches on twitter and then just delete it after i posted the finished one#bc just look at that lmaoo#if you understand what's he's saying and have an idea what's going on#then ur cool and amazing /pos#prolly gonna delete when im done with this piece#if i ever finish it HAHAHAHAH#charot joke lng#OHH TO HAVE HORIKOSHI'S SKILL WHEN IT COMES TO SKETCHES SO CLEAN HHHHH#compared to mine#nga murag gi agian ug mga manok 🥹🤧
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So so indebted to u for posting those lovely illustrations from Cyrano <333 & even more so for yr tags!! I'm completely in love w yr analysis, please feel free to ramble as long as u wish! Browsing through yr Cyrano de Bergerac tag has given me glimpses of so many adaptations & translations I'd never heard of before! I'll be watching the Solès version next, which I have only discovered today through u ^_^ As for translations, have u read many/all of them? I've only encountered the Renauld & Burgess translations in the wild, & I was curious to hear yr translation thoughts that they might guide my decision on which one I buy first (not necessarily Renauld or Burgess ofc). Have a splendid day & sorry for the likespam! 💙
Sorry for the delay. Don't mind the likespam, I'm glad you enjoyed my tags about Cyrano, and that they could contribute a bit to a further appreciation of the play. I loved it a lot, I got obsessed with it for months. It's always nice to know other people deeply love too that which is loved haha I hope you enjoy the Solès version, it may well be my favourite one!
About translations, I'm touched you're asking me, but I don't really know whether mine is the best opinion to ask. I have read... four or five English translations iirc, the ones I could find online, and I do (and especially did, back when I was reading them) have a lot of opinions about them. However, nor English nor French are my first languages (they are third and fourth respectively, so not even close). I just read and compare translations because that's one of my favourite things to do.
The fact is that no translation is perfect, of course. I barely remember Renauld's, but I think it was quite literal; that's good for understanding the basics of the text, concepts and characters, but form is subject, and there's always something that escapes too literal translations. Thomas and Guillemard's if I recall correctly is similar to Hooker's in cadence. It had some beautiful fragments, some I preferred over Hooker's, but overall I think to recall I liked Hooker's more. If memory serves, Hooker's was the most traditionally poetic and beautiful in my opinion. Burgess' is a whole different thing, with its perks and drawbacks.
Something noticeable in the other translations is that they are too... "epic". They do well the poetic, sorrowful, grief stricken, crushed by regrets aspects of Cyrano and the play in general, but they fall quite short in the funny and even pathetic aspects, and that too is key in Cyrano, both character and play. Given the characteristics of both languages, following the cadence of the French too literally, with those long verses, makes an English version sound far too solemn at times when the French text isn't. Thus Burgess changes the very cadence of the text, adapting it more to the English language. This translation is the one that best sets the different moods in the play, and as I said before form is subject, and that too is key: after all, the poetic aspect of Cyrano is as much true as his angry facet and his goofy one. If Cyrano isn't funny he isn't Cyrano, just as he wouldn't be Cyrano without his devotion to Roxane or his insecurities; Cyrano is who he is precisely because he has all these facets, because one side covers the other, because one trait is born from another, because one facet is used as weapon to protect the others, like a game of mirrors and smoke. We see them at different points through the play, often converging. Burgess' enhances that. He plays with the language itself in form and musicality, with words and absences, with truths masking other truths, with things stated but untold, much like Cyrano does. And the stage directions, poetic and with literary value in their own right in a way that reminded me of Valle Inclán and Oscar Wilde, interact with the text at times in an almost metatextual dimension that enhances that bond Cyrano has with words, giving them a sort of liminal air and strengthening that constant in the play: that words both conceal and unveil Cyrano, that in words he hides and words give him away.
But not all is good, at all. Unlike Hooker, Burgess reads to me as not entirely understanding every facet of the characters, and as if he didn't even like the play all that much, as if he had a bit of a disdainful attitude towards it, and found it too mushy. Which I can understand, but then why do you translate it? In my opinion the Burgess' translation does well bending English to transmit the different moods the French text does, and does pretty well understanding the more solemn, cool, funny, angry, poetic aspects of Cyrano, but less so his devotion, vulnerability, insecurities and his pathetism. It doesn't seem to get Roxane at all, how similar she is to Cyrano, nor why she has so many admirers. It does a very poor job at understanding Christian and his value, and writes him off as stupid imo. While I enjoyed the language aspect of the Burgess translation, I remember being quite angry at certain points reading it because of what it did to the characters and some changes he introduces. I think he did something very questionable with Le Bret and Castel-Jaloux, and I remember being incensed because of Roxane at times (for instance, she doesn't go to Arras in his version, which is a key scene to show just how much fire Roxane has, and that establishes several parallels with Cyrano, in attitude and words, but even in act since she does a bit what Cyrano later does with the nuns in the last act), and being very angry at several choices about Christian too. While not explicitly stated, I think the McAvoy production and the musical both follow this translation, because they too introduce these changes, and they make Christian as a character, and to an extent the entire play, not make sense.
For instance, once such change is that Christian is afraid that Roxane will be cultured (McAvoy's version has that infamous "shit"/"fuck" that I detest), when in the original French it's literally the opposite. He is not afraid she will be cultured, he is afraid she won't, because he does love and appreciate and admires those aspects of her, as he appreciates and admires them in Cyrano. That's key! Just as Cyrano longs to have what Christian has, Christian wants the same! That words escape him doesn't mean he doesn't understand or appreciate them. The dynamics make no sense without this aspect, and Burgess (and the productions that directly or indirectly follow him) constantly erases this core trait of Christian.
Another key moment of Christian Burgess butchers is the scene in Arras in which Christian discovers the truth. Burgess writes their discussion masterfully in form, it's both funny and poignant, but it falls short in concept: when Cyrano tells him the whole discussion about who does Roxane love and what will happen, what they'll do, is academic because they're both going to die, Christian states that dying is his role now. This destroys entirely the thing with Christian wanting Roxane to have the right to know, and the freedom to choose, or to refuse them both. As much as Cyrano proclaims his love for truth and not mincing words even in the face of authority, Cyrano is constantly drunk on lies and mirages, masks and metaphors. It's Christian who wants it all to end, the one who wants real things, the one who wants to risk his own happiness for the chance of his friend's, as well as for the woman he loves to stop living in a lie. That is a very interesting aspect of Christian, and another aspect in which he is written as both paralleling and contrasting Cyrano. It's interesting from a moral perspective and how that works with the characters, but it's also interesting from a conceptual point of view, both in text and metatextually: what they hold most dear, what they most want, what most fulfills them, what they most fear, their different approaches to life, but also metatextually another instance of that tears/blood motif and its ramifications constant through the whole text. Erasing that climatic decision and making him just simply suicidal erases those aspects of Christian and his place in the Christian/Cyrano/Roxane dynamic, all for plain superficial angst, that perhaps hits more in the moment, but holds less meaning.
Being more literal, and more solemn, Hooker's translation (or any of the others, but Hooker's seems to love the characters and understand them) doesn't make these conceptual mistakes. Now, would I not recommend reading Burgess' translation? I can't also say that. I had a lot of fun reading it, despite the occasional anger and indignation haha Would I recommend buying it? I recommend you give an eye to it first, if you're tempted and can initially only buy one.
You can read Burgess' translation entirely in archive.com. You can also find online the complete translations of Renauld, Hooker and Thomas and Guillemard. I also found a fifth one, iirc, but I can't recall it right now (I could give a look). You could read them before choosing, or read your favourite scenes and fragments in the different translations, and choose the one in which you like them better. That's often what I do.
Edit: I've checked to make sure and Roxane does appear in Arras in the translation. It's in the introduction in which it is stated that she doesn't appear in the production for which the translation was made. The conceptualisation of Roxane I criticise and that in my opinion is constant through the text does stay, though.
#I have a lot of opinions about translations in general tbh but this is not a semi clear case like in Crime and Punishment#in which there's one detail that a translation must do for me to recommend it (it used to be the one but now in English several do it)#I wouldn't recommend Burgess as a first approach to the play‚ but having already read the play and knowing the text and characters#and how Burgess may modify it‚ then I wouldn't not recommend it because it is the best in form in many aspects#And while he fails in direct concept‚so to speak‚ form is particularly important in this play and in conveying concept and characterisatio#So idk personal taste is it I guess? Again I am not an English or French native#I vehemently recommend reading the play in French if you can and haven't done so already#Even best if you want a translation to read the translation alongside the French text#to see how the translation bends the play in form and subject#Anyway... Sorry for the long delay and the too long reply. I always end up talking too much#Oh by the way I think I saw you talk about the blood/tears motif in the act IV in some tags? It's not just act IV#The tears/soul motif is repeated through the entire text linked to Cyrano and is opposed to the body of Christian#That's why the culmination in the last act and the tears in the fourth hit so much#Like the constant of Cyrano being linked to the moon and the darkness while Roxane is the sun and the light#And also I would argue the 'pearled perfection of her smile' is not an unidentifiable trait or intangible#It's poetic and metaphoric but it's a description of her teeth. Small‚ straight‚ white. Perfect teeth. That wasn't so common back then#It's quite common in classic literature to find poetic references of good teeth spoken of in these terms#Anyway...#I hope you'll find some use in this that would make the insufferable wall of text worth some of the time at least#After all time spent is a little death. I would have hated to kill a fragment of you for nothing haha#Cyrano de Bergerac#Did I tag asks? I usually delete them after a while so I think I didn't? I never recall#I talk too much#That will suffice#Hmmm it's useless in any case. I think I've talked for over twenty tags before tagging that#A wall of text and somehow I ramble in the tags nonetheless ugh#I will reread this in a bit to see if it's coherent enough. The little screen of the phone always makes me lose track of things when I writ
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hi im bothering u guys for writing tips again
how do i stop deleting entire chunks of a fic and getting stuck in the cycle of constantly deleting and rewriting
#OK EXAMPLE#bc this is usually the situation that occurs#im writing this fic#and i just wrote this scene which i feel like would make a much better inciting incident rather than what i wrote in the *actual* exposition#however if i delete everything from the exposition to make this new scene the new plot point 1 pacing-wise#ill basically be starting over again and will have to change everything that happens even after this scene#which i know if i do that ill just keep going and going and the entire plot of the story is just going to be pointless#should i just like#keep the order of the scenes as they are and instead edit them slightly so they fit better pacing wise???#♡alizeh talks♡
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