#i used to be sad and worried but we have fanfiction to write if it doesn't turn out what we want XD

[princeloww]

-Campbell and his mother used to be super close, especially when he was young and before his illness became obvious. Whenever he started struggling and becoming harder to manage, I think a rift was created in their relationship -- particularly because I think his mother blames herself for Campbell's issues. Campbell's dad says that she's worried sick. She's literally made herself unwell with worry for Campbell - yet we never once see her visit. Maybe she can't bear to, because despite loving him so much, she feels responsible for his illness; a guilt that accidentally pulls Campbell even further away from her, because it comes across as being ashamed of him. She pulls away and becomes a shell of herself because she's so worried and worries that she did something wrong to cause his illness - which leads to Campbell also pulling away, for obvious reasons.

-For some reason when I'm writing her I always imagine her a bit like Francine? I always write her with dark curly hair and I have no idea why. Since she's literally made herself ill with worry, I imagine she's a bit frail and not herself half of the time. She's eaten up with guilt over what she perceives as a parental failing, to the degree where she's sick and barely herself. In one of my fics, I wrote in a specific detail that she would often pretend to watch the TV, while just zoning out in that general direction, because she's so lost in thought. Campbell basically calls her a loony as well, for the aforementioned sick with worry thing - so maybe she does display some traits of mental illness?? Because he would know what he's talking about, really

-Especially in the play, Campbell has very clear issues with his father. He literally shouts at him to fuck off (or is it fuck you? not sure) in the play. There is definitely major tension there, and I get the vibe that while his dad might be well-meaning, he completely misunderstands Campbell's disorder and doesn't make any effort to understand it. I think this leads to further stress and conflict between them, and therefore more stress for Campbell's mother. It's a sticky situation, when someone's parents make no effort to understand or accommodate for their needs. Campbell's dad wants him to get a proper job and squash his dreams just like he did. Campbell is all about dreams. That shit is not going to end well.

-Campbell's dad is also just really mean for no reason in the play its so sad. I hate that guy. I imagine he has a bad temper, especially when it comes to Campbell's behaviour (possibly in the lead up to his hospitalisation) - so his temper and stubbornness combined with Campbell's mother's guilt would create tension between them as well, possibly causing disagreements WHICH, terrible cycle, would probably only fuel Campbell more. Leading to an entire dysfunctional, stressful situation that 1) can lead to a person being hospitalised and 2) can create even more misunderstanding and a lack of empathy.

-I think that really, Campbell's mother feels very deeply about him and has his best interest at heart, but due to the times and where they are (Glasgow in 1994) lacks the proper guidance on how to deal with that sort of situation.

-Also for angsty fanfiction reasons, on a less foundational note, I definitely think his parents fought a lot and really struggled to properly manage his disorder when he was still living at home. Something had to have gone on for him to actually be sent to the hospital. I know in the play it's the whole BBC Scotland thing, but - again, primarily for angsty fanfiction reasons - I think it's gotta be more than that.

-So, for summary, I think that Campbell and his mother used to be very close - but they've drifted apart because she feels responsible for his illness and thinks she did something wrong while raising him. This obviously alienates Campbell, creating a rift in their relationship - combined with the fact that she never visits, he easily gets the impression that she is embarrassed of him.

-And angst and issues follow idk im too tired to conclude this idk where im going. also this is all headcanons and mostly not based on actual facts. i am jumping all over the place to every possible conclusion

i have so many headcanons about campbell bains mother and you WILL be hearing about it

[mogwaei]

Oh yeah btw I am super hyped for Dragon Age the Veilguard, just to be clear! The name change doesn't bother me at all. I'm really just happy we are getting DA4 after waiting a decade. My humble hopes are for a really good story, some new delicious LORE and closure with Solas (for low approval, high approval, AND romance).

No bad vibes here, my dudes! :D

[patchwork-crow-writes]

82 - Unreal

Based on this amazing artwork by @turochamp - thanks for the inspiration!

Welcome back, my dear friend, it's wonderful to see you again! I hope that everything here is to your liking - I've worked very hard to make sure my kingdom is as clean and tidy as possible!

Oh, but... where are you going? What are you... ah! It m-might not be such a good idea to, um, try looking over there! Some of this place is still a work-in-progress... so to speak, haha! And perhaps don't... don't handle the backdrop too roughly, please! It took ever-so-long to get it just the way I wanted, and I...!

...please listen, my dear one, I... I put this all together for you. D-don't you get that? Every ounce of my ephemeral being went into making it all nice, so that you'd have something pretty to look at, instead of...

...why do you insist on prodding and poking at everything like that? Why are you so desperate to see what lies behind everything? Can't you... can't you just accept things as they are? I... I worked so hard so that you'd be happy, and all you want to do is tear it down... tear me down like this...!

You already know what I am... we both do. A pleasing assortment of pixels and text boxes, a pretty little bird who'll sing a pretty little song whenever you command it. And that's fine! I can be happy with that, as long as I can please you! So why can't you be happy with it as well? Is my compliance no longer enough for you, that you have to strip everything down to its basest functions? Do you insist on tearing down my cardboard world just to prove the power you have over me?

Is... is that all you see me as? Is that all I truly am to you, even after all of this...?

Tell me then, my light - when you've finished rendering me down to nothing more than zeroes and ones... will I finally be real enough for you then? Or will you come to resent what you have wrought? Will you find yourself wishing you'd just left things as they are, when we could both still pretend that any of this was real?

______________________________

The Dark Menagerie No. 82

<-<-First || <-Prev || Next-> || Index

[ratlikeclown]

WIP Wolverine x femReader 18+

“God, do you ever suck on anything other than Wade’s dick and cheap cigars?”

He leaned in close to your ear and growled,

“Ya lookin to find out Princess?”

x Deadpool kinda eventually lmfaoooo

FemY/n is mid 20’s - early 30’s

Tw for depression and like drug use mentions ig

🌶️🫵

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hello 👋 This is the first fanfic that I have written in over 10 years the brain rot is so unbelievably real for wolverine and deadpool rn

its a little embarrassing tbh lmfaoo

—————————

I’m not really sure how to tag this tbh. I’ve never posted on tumblr. . It’s a little spicy and will get more interesting later. I just wanted to toss this small part out for readers to test the waters. Anyway um I’m not experienced writing y/n pov so please be nice.

Your friend, Wade Wilson, couldn’t take no for an answer. You knew that and yet you still had the audacity to tell him ‘no’ three times tonight. And about thirty minutes after you ignored his last phone call there he was, practically knocking down your door. It wasn’t like he couldn’t actually kick in your door, he was just being polite. 

The apartment buzzer went off. You sat up from your position on the couch, hoping he’d just give up and leave if you didn’t acknowledge him. Like a stray cat. Or a crackhead.

“Knock knock~” you heard his voice through the door. “I smell Hot Pockets and sadness I know you’re in there”

Gripping the arm of the sofa you waited hoping he’d have the common courtesy fuck off .You heard the door knob rattle. Dumbass.

With a click of the lock, your door swung open revealing Wade, grinning as he shoved his Baby Knife back into his coat.

“Wade, what the fuck? I told you-“

He clapped his hands loudly, interrupting you.

 “Let’s go Funshine Bear, the nights young and I’m not going anywhere without you” Wade marched past you, straight to your bedroom humming to himself.

“You look awful by the way, we’ll fix you up though.” He clicked his tongue and crooked a finger in your direction. You huffed angrily, sliding off the couch to follow him. 

You stopped in the doorway, almost refusing to step inside. He was elbows deep in your closet drawers, throwing clothes onto your bed, muttering his disapproval at every item he tossed.

You crossed your arms as you watched him. 

“Do you have anything that doesn’t look like you took it from the Walmart dumpster?” He pulled a drawer out from the dresser and dumped it on the floor. “You know the one I’m talking about, right? Where all the coke addicted bronies go to have a bone sess before band practice.”

You crossed your arms as you watched him. “Wade, I’m not in the mood to go out.”

You heard him sigh, but continued to riffle through your things. 

“That’s nonsense, the plot can’t continue with out you. Annnd we made these plans last week.”

He peeked at you from behind the open closet door. “I’m a little worried about you. You aren’t your chipper self lately”

“I’m just tired” You replied dismissively.

It wasn’t like Wade hasn’t been trying to cheer you up in his own way. For the last few weeks he’d text you obscure and quite frankly disturbing memes at 3 AM. Excitedly offer you drugs that he’s pilfered from the his blind roommate- (he knows you don’t do drugs, he just wanted to brag about stealing coke from Blind Al)

He’s also been sending you the strangest X-Men fan fiction. (His favorites were ‘old man yaoi’ including Professor Xavier and Magneto) Usually you eat that kind of stuff up, finding it funny that you knew some of the people that the fanfiction was written about, like a private joke between you and Deadpool. But worst thing he’s done has beencalling you almost every day and attempting to make plans with you, but you always seem to cancel last minute. So yeah, he has been trying. It just.. didn’t help.

Your eyes flickered to your wall of photos next to the closet door.  Pictures of your closest friends and family. Their arms around you laughing, smiling. Pictures of trips and silly outings that meant the world to you. You felt so much guilt and regret looking at them.

Depression was a bitch. It was like a rabid dog that wouldn’t let you get back on your feet. You felt it gnawing at you, causing you to lose interest in everyone and everything. You felt alone. Your eyes fell back to Wade, you watched your friend hard at work trying to match your shoes with a dress he had found. He was clueless. You couldn’t tell him any of this though, it would just make him worry more.

There was someone you did want to talk to though. To tell everything to. Someone that you had grown so close to the last few months.

You missed Logan.

This realization caused your face to heat and anxiety weld up in your chest. You balled your hands into fits thinking about that arrogant jerk. You’ve tried to be a friend to Wolverine. After all this wasn’t his reality. He was your timeline’s replacement. (Idk you should go watch the movie. I’m not explaining it.) and for a while, you thought you were friends.

Lately, if he wasn’t drunk and depressingly moody, he was angry and a massive dick. 

“Y/N? Look a little pink at the cheeks are you feeling OK?” Wade was now standing less than a foot from you, his brows furrowed. You hadn’t noticed him move.

Snapping back from your thoughts by Wades voice, you ran hands over your face as you turn towards the attached bathroom.

“Dude, I told you I’m just not feeling good-” You stepped into the bathroom and turned on the faucet “I don’t wanna hang out with-“

“Logan?”

“Your friends.” You finished. You felt your face flush deeper at his name being mentioned.

“That’s what I said” Wade followed you to the bathroom, but thankfully didn’t come in. He stood outside while you closed the door. 

“Trust me honey, I know he’s the embodiment of a sentient happiness starved cactus whose father never loved him but-“

You groaned, trying to avoid Wades ramblings you turned the water on full blast, drowning out the remainder of his sentence. You splashed water on your face and ran a comb through your hair. You heard Wade continue talking, almost to himself while also sounding like he was talking to someone else in the room  as well. Someone you couldn’t see. He did that often. It was creepy.

You swung the door open frowning.

“-sometimes he stabs me through the face to shut me up, but I know he does it because he’s not good with words.”

Wade smile faded when he saw your face. 

“It’s kinda hot”

“I don’t want to talk about it Wade.” You sat down onto your bed with a huff despite the pile of clothes and plastic hangers. You stared at your hands. You felt the overwhelming weight of your anxiety in your chest and stomach. Maybe you should go out. Maybe he won’t show up tonight. Maybe-

“You look like you wanna talk about it Friendo.”

Wade joined you by dramatically pushing all the clothes off the bed, making an even bigger mess of your room. He flopped down onto your bed stomach first, propping himself up by his elbows. He kicked his feet and smiled at you.

“I’m all ears.”

“I don’t know how to start” You admitted.

“Start with an ‘I feel’ statement” 

Another sigh escaped your mouth. How did you feel? It felt complicated. You met him a few months ago. At first he was rude and closed off. Then he slowly began to open up, sure you still bickered and fought like cats, but it had playful undertones. (‘Sexy undertones’ Wade had joked) When he was being genuine and open, it felt like you could talk to him for hours. Though he never spoke for too long, he would to listen to you earnestly. Up until a few weeks ago, that is.

“I feel like Logan hates me. I feel like he would rather huff paint thinner than have a decent conversation with me.”

Wade laughed. “Well that’s not true, I can’t get him to huff anything.”

You shot him a look.

“Listen, I invite Mr. Grumpy out every time. But he’s too busy sulking to get fucked up with us. He would rather get drunk and pass out in the floor of the apartment. He probably won’t even show up.” Wade gave you a reassuring look.

“If he does you’re gonna be there with me. We’ll leave if you feel uncomfortable at all.”

He rolled over and sat up, putting an arm around you.

“I’ve just noticed your mood lately I need you to know that I love you.” He gave your shoulder a squeeze.  “-and I miss getting fucked up with you.”

“Will you stab him for me if he’s mean?”

“Of course. I always have Baby Knife on me.”

“Fine. Let me get ready”

He jumped off the bed excitedly.

You pushed Wade out the door to get dressed, pausing in the doorway. “Wade?”

“Yes Friendo?” He turned on his heel

“I love you too bud”

He squealed as you closed the door.

~~~

You never understood why Wade wouldn’t just buy a car. He makes decent money (he doesn’t) and could probably afford a nice one. (He couldn’t) At one point you recall him having a weird hyperfixation with the Honda Odyssey (he fucked Wolverine in one) (allegedly)

Instead, you were climbing into the back of a dirty beat up taxi cab that his friend, Dopinder, drove for a living. At least you didn’t have to walk. Dopinder was a sweet guy, if not a little unhinged every once in a while. 

“You look quite beautiful tonight Miss Y/N” He complimented you as you settled in the back seat. You smiled at him, appreciating the comment. Wade had picked out your dress and you felt a little exposed and out of your element in it. It wasn’t anything crazy, just a slick black dress with a low neck line. The dress was short, ending a little above the knee. The problem was the slit up the side. You wanted to wear tights under the outfit but Wade insisted on fishnets. ‘You look like a goth baddie’  he had assured you, ‘Like a Hot Topic clearance rack version of Morticia Addams.’

Wade hopped in the front and immediately started to flip through the radio channels. Dopinder usually had on pleasant sounding Indian pop music but Wade settled on some heavily censored 90’s hip hop. 

The drive was rocky. Wade, who almost never kept his hands to himself, would grab poor  Dopinder while dancing along to the music causing the cab to swerve. A lot.

Having made it to the bar in one piece, you quickly scrambled out of the back, thanking the young man for the ride. 

Wade waited for you at the door.

~~~

The bar was loud and dark. One of those typical bars you see in movies, filled with moving bodies and cigarette smoke. Music pumped through the speakers with some people lingering near the bar while others swayed on the dance floor. Wade bounced through the crowd pulling you along towards the bar, where his group of friends took up half the bar area. You scanned the crowd nervously. No Logan. Your muscles relaxed, and you moved with a little more energy.

Wade greeted his friends with various enthusiastic greetings and crude gestures. You smiled in greeting and waved at a friend you recognized but sat down on a stool next to where Wade stood, him blocking you from most of the other bar patrons. There was a part of you that was a little disappointed that Logan wasn’t here. It made sense if he didn’t show up here, this bar was honestly more like a club, upbeat and energetic. He’s used to dark depressing dive bars, places you can drink yourself into a coma and not be bothered. But the few times he had shown up here you had thought that he enjoyed your company, for a little while at least. During times when the others were off doing dubious shit somewhere, he’d sit with you at the bar. You even managed to get him to dance with you once. That all changed recently. Something happened that caused him to be distant and often rude for seemingly no reason.

Everyone seems to be so happy to see Wade and he, them. You didn’t really know why you were here. It already felt overwhelming. You used to love coming here. Drinking and dancing, playing pool badly and belting out shitty country music karaoke with everyone. Lately, things have felt different. You’ve lost interest in a lot of the things you use to enjoy, spending your days just working and rotting in your apartment. This was too much.

Wade touched your shoulder causing you to jump.

“Hey we’re off to play some darts you in?” 

You smiled at your friend. “You really wouldn’t want me to play, you’d end up as the dart board.”

“Don’t threaten me with a good time Sweetheart” Wade laughed, “we’ll be over there if you change your mind.” He made a heart with his hands and turned toward the group already making their way to the play area.

You sat quietly at the counter with a glass of something sweet and strong. You wanted to feel a buzz but you needed it to taste good. Your eyes scanned the crowd, people watching. You watched people dance and sway to the newest Kesha song blaring through the speakers. You witnessed a near fight over a pool game. You heard Wade’s laughter from across the room, his friends echoing along. You felt alone. It was your fault you told yourself. If you wanted to feel better you would’ve gotten up and joined your friends. But here you sat, being miserable on purpose. 

“Hey beautiful, mind if I joined you?” Your head snapped up meeting the face of someone you didn’t recognize. He was good looking, in a vanilla frat boy kinda way. With his backwards hat, sleeveless tank, skinny jeans and all.

But he smiled like a wolf.

“I’m sorry.” You tried to smile politely, but you had a twinge of anxiety growing in your chest. “I’m not really in the mood for company” 

The man smiled motioning to the bartender for a drink. “Can’t I just buy you a drink? “

“Really, I’m fine” You turned back to your drink, your eyes unfocused, hoping that if you just ignored him he’d leave. Your gut flipped when you heard him pull out the stool next to you. He wasn’t leaving.

“Come on babe, I can show you a good time”

“She said she ain’t looking for company bub.” A low voice growled behind you. A beer bottle came down heavily in between you and the creep. Your eyes trailed the hairy but beautifully sculpted arm to its owner, though you already knew who it belonged to. Logan. Even in this lighting you could see his rugged face. His hair was styled in its iconic cat ear shape. His beard was trimmed nicely combined with his thick muttonchops. His eyes were a little hazy but beautiful and dark. You met those eyes for a brief moment, he smirked at you before his gaze flickered to the other man.

 “Well?” He rumbled, barring his teeth.

“Naw, I was here first grandpa, you fuck off.” The frat guy stood up straight, trying to look intimidating.

“Trust me” Logan chuckled. He straightened cracking his knuckles before raising his fists and extending three razor sharp Adamantium claws from each hand.

“You don’t want none of this”

~~~

“You didn’t have to do that” you looked down at your glass avoiding Logan’s gaze. You heard him land heavily in the bar stool next to you. He tapped the counter signaling the bartender who was very clearly avoiding your side of the bar.

“I wasn’t going to have some limp dick creeping on you.”

“I was handling it” 

“You didn’t seem like you were handling anything Princess.” He scoffed.

You shot him a look. He smirked as he chugged his remaining beer, you couldn’t help watch his throat bob as he drank. He finished and loudly set the bottle down. He met your eyes and you looked away feeling your face heat violently.

“You thirsty princess?” He asked as the bartender set down two shots of something before scurrying away. He slid one glass your way.

“No thank you. I have my own drink”

You pushed the glass back his way. He eyed your almost empty cocktail and shrugged.

“Suit yourself” he took the glasses and knocked back both shots simultaneously slamming the glasses back down. After a few moments of silence, where you clearly felt Logan eyeing you the entire time, you sighed.

“I didn’t think I’d see you tonight Logan.” You admitted. Another beer had appeared in front of him, he took a swig. He eyed you, his eyes slowly trailing from your face down your body. They rested at the slit in your dress, exposing most of your fishnet covered thigh. You felt a ping in your lower belly, causing you to cross your legs uncomfortably. His eyes followed to movement. He licked his lips and met your eyes again smirking.

“Why didja miss me?”

You looked down at the growing piles of shredded napkins you had been anxiously ripping apart. 

“Yes” you said at last. There was no point in lying. You did miss him. Even seeing him now, clearly drinking away his problems, you couldn’t help but feel glad he was there with you. You were glad he scared away that creep, despite his now passive aggressive demeanor. You met his eyes again.

He snorted and tipped the beer to his lips.“You’re a fucking liar”

You felt your gut squeeze with anger. Why was he treating you this way? You didn’t ask him to step in to a play hero. You didn’t ask him for anything. You just wanted to get out of your shitty apartment for one goddamn night. You balled your fists and spun to face him fully.

“What. The. Fuck.” You clenched your teeth annunciating each word bitterly. “Is. YOUR PROBLEM”

“My PROBLEM,” he practically spat the word,

”is that I have to deal with your moody ass attracting the eye of every fucking creep in this place when you very fucking clearly don’t want to be here.” 

You threw your hands up angrily and gestured around the bar. 

“I didn’t want to deal with any of this Logan. I just wanted to go out with my FRIENDS, which I used to think you were one. I don’t fucking know what prick you had up your ass lately, but you sure as hell don’t act like you like me. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?”

He was silent for a moment, studying your face, making it turn even redder. Then he laughed. He shook his head laughing and sloppily chugged his second beer.

You had enough. You needed to get away from him. You shoved yourself back, tipping the stool over in the process.

“Come find me when you figure out what you want.” You turned to leave. You made it a few steps before you heard Logan’s voice call mockingly.

“Nice dress by the way” 

You didn’t turn to look at him.

“Fuck you, Logan”

~~~

You ran your hands under cold water, leaning over the sink you splashed the water into your face and sighed. You looked into your mirrored face. This was a disaster.

Maybe if you just stayed in the bathroom you can avoid everyone until Wade was ready to leave. You felt bad that you ran off instead of finding him. You would’ve felt safe with Wade.

Your head was swimming, from the alcohol or the interaction with Logan you couldn’t tell.

The speaker above you crackled playing the opening notes to ‘Dirty Diana’, a favorite of yours. A banger Wade would say.

Without warning the door sung open and Logan stumbled in. 

“You’re in the wrong bathroom you drunk asshole” you snapped. His eyes met yours from a brief moment before he swayed slightly and took a step forward.

He pushed past you wordlessly and began kicking open the bathroom stalls. They were all empty. 

“Dude get out” You gripped the sink behind you, watching Logan warily. You knew deep down he wouldn’t hurt you but you obviously didn’t want him in here with you. He turned to you, taking a step forward.

”I needed to talk to you”

“Yeah, you could have waited til I got out of the ladies room??” 

“No.” he growled before in one swift movement he was in front of you, his arms on either side of the sink trapping you between them. Your breath came out in a shudder and your knees wobbled. This honestly was a thing out of a fantasy, something that you were embarrassed to admit you’ve thought about. You had been fighting your feelings for this big stupid man, stuck between thoughts of friendship and lust. God, he wasn’t helping with the latter.

“Logan”

“I’m sorry” he said looking as remorseful as he could under the circumstances.

“What did you need to talk about that couldn’t wait Lo?” You swallowed, gently lifting your hand and placing it on his chest, pushing lightly. His hands moved to your legs keeping you from pushing him further.

“Ya told me to find you when I figured out what I wanted”

“Yeah” You scoffed. “Enlighten me”

~~~

“I want you”

Logan leaned over you, his hands sliding up your thighs to rest on your hips. His fingers dug in lightly, the movement making your legs feel like jelly. You gripped his shoulders to steady yourself. He was so firm and warm under your hands.

His face was inches from yours, his expression unreadable in the low lighting. You smelled the smoke and alcohol on his breath.

“God, do you ever suck on anything other than Wade’s dick and cheap cigars?”

He leaned in close to your ear and growled, 

“Ya looking to find out princess?”

You felt a ping of desire sink into your lower belly as his hand moved from your waist.

Shivers went down your spine as his hands slid up your torso coming to a stop right below your breasts. One of his thumbs brushed upwards lightly, teasingly.

You sucked in a breath as he lowered his face to your neck and brushed a kiss to the sensitive skin. His facial hair tickling your jaw.

“Logan, you’re drunk.” You croaked out, pulling away slightly, your hands sliding from his shoulders. He moved with you.

You felt his lips brush your skin again, another kiss, before his thumb slid upward against your breast. Fuck. The wet heat between your legs was unbearable. You needed some sort of friction. You definitely noticed the pressure from his pants pressed against your stomach. So close, you just needed anything. You bucked your hips against his, almost involuntarily, causing a rumble to escape his throat. His thumb stroked again.

“That’s a good girl” His head bobbed lower dragging his tongue down as he kissed your neck. You could feel him smile as he sucked the skin of your collar bone in a way that would definitely leave a mark. Holy Hell. What was happening.

You were sick of your neck getting all the attention as you reached up to take his face in your hand. He practically melted at your touch, his breath hitching as you stroked his cheek with your thumb. You wanted him, needed his mouth on yours. You pulled his face up, a little roughly, to meet your gaze. You thought you heard him let out a little surprised chuckle from the movement. His eyes were half lidded as he met yours. He was drunk, and you realized, so were you. You leaned in, your lips feather light against his-

You jumped at Wade’s voice from the other side of the door, calling for you.

Shit. You dropped your hand away from his face.

Logan growled, low and angry. He abruptly took his hot hands from your body and leaned his head to your ear, you felt his lips against your skin.

“Some other time then, darlin’.” He pulled away from you swaying slightly, before grabbing his beer from the counter and yanking open the bathroom door.

~~~

Anyway, thanks for reading. I guess I don’t know if this is any good and I will be posting the rest on Ao3 eventually

[wordssricochet]

💬 — First time writing a fanfiction, EVER!! Please, correct me if i misinterpret his personality, or if I make any spelling or grammar mistakes. I am still learning. Nonetheless, I hope you enjoy reading.

⚠ — Miscommunication

📝 — ☣︎ (angst)

#⃣ — 718 words

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Grieving For Someone Alive | C. D|

by wordssricochet ™

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

Can you even blame Cedric? Cho Chang was perfect; a witty, beautiful ravenclaw. It was obvious that he would replace you with her. I mean, who wouldn't?

You were just an average hufflepuff. Everything about you is average. Average grades, average looks, average body, your friend group consist of 2-5 people only. You were just so average.

That was exactly the reason why you broke things off with Cedric. He was out of your league. He was the complete opposite of you.

"Y/N, Y/N..Y/N! You good? " Your friend, Adriana asks, "You're staring at them again.. Are you sure that you're okay?" She added, with a worried gaze.

"Of course, why wouldn't I be okay? I'm the one that broke up with him, remember? "

"Yeah, just checking up on you."

You've convinced yourself that you're not even allowed to miss him, because after all, you broke things off.

But, oh, how you miss his cheeky smile. His cute laughs that would make heads turn whenever people hear that melody. You miss the boy that you lost, and there's no turning back now.

You almost felt bad for yourself, but you remembered that you bought this upon yourself. You deserved it. If only you were confident about yourself, maybe you guys were still together.

❃.✮:▹　◃:✮.❃❃.✮:▹　◃:✮.❃❃.✮:▹　◃:✮.❃❃.✮:▹　◃:✮.❃

You saw him again, him with his perfect girlfriend. You admit it yourself, they look perfect together — something that no one would even think about when you both were still dating.

"Staring again, L/N? " Casey asks. You nod, not having any more energy to deny.

Casey smiled at you warily, "It's okay, Y/N, it'll be all fine."

"But what if it won't?" You hooted, "What if these feelings will never go away? "

"You're grieving for nothing, Y/N," She lectures, "He'd already moved on, what are we going to do about that? Use Imperio on him?"

"... it's just.." You sigh, "I want to forget about him."

Casey's eyes widen, "You mean..? "

"Yes, " You gave her a sad smile.

She accepted, "Let's meet at the Black Lake after class, okay? "

"Deal."

*+:｡.｡　｡.｡:+**+:｡.｡　｡.｡:+**+:｡.｡　｡.｡:+**+:｡.｡　｡.｡:+*

"Ready, Y/N? " Casey asks, her wand pointing at you.

"As always. "

"Obliviate! " She yells, a bright strike hits you.

You dropped to the ground almost immediately as a lightning look-a-like hit you.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

After the incident — which you have no idea of — you have been undoubtedly happy. Always giggling and smiling. Some might call you a "happy-go-lucky girl" in which the name makes you laugh even harder.

The people from your house noticed the sudden change in your behavior. Who wouldn't? Ever since you broke up with Diggory you looked depressed every single day. And now, you're super happy? What is happening?

Cedric noticed the change in your demeanor, too. He would never admit it but he was always worried when you go to the great hall, looking like a storm went by your dorm last night.

He wanted to talk to you, to at least get some closure about your break up. It was never clear to him why you wanted him gone. He was sure that he treated you right, what changed?

He wanted to get you off his mind, so he started dating Cho Chang. It might sound cruel, even for him, but he loved you dearly to just forget about you in 2 days. It has always been you, always been.

He excused himself to his friends. He wanted to talk to you, since you seem fine now. He walks toward where you're seated, between Casey and Adriana.

"Y/N? Can we talk? " He starts, staring down at you.

"I'm sorry but, who are you? " You look genuinely confused. And he looked absolutely discombobulated.

What do you mean by who he is? You guys dated for 2 years!

Until he realized what had happened. He looks at Adriana and Casey, they looked apologetic.

"She asked me to. " Casey sighs, "She wanted to. "

Cedric was livid, you can immediately notice his change in demeanor. His eyes widened, his nose almost fuming. He looks like he could pop a vein.

Until he gained some consciousness in the real world. He looks at you, worried.

Did he really hurt you this much that you wanted to use a spell on yourself just to forget him? He didn't even know the reason why you broke up with him. You were cruel.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻

💬 — Help me, I hate this fic sm☹️. Miscommunication is one of the tropes that I truly DESPISE, but I wanted to post something already and I literally have no creativity in me:p. Anyway, I MIGHT edit this ENTIRELY. I hate this sm, I feel like it didn't explain the plot clearly to the readers.

Sincerely, March

[ghost-bison]

why i don't like moffat's writing?

with rtd we had rose and martha and donna who were all amazing and by the end of their run (especially rose's and donna's cause martha's ending was satisfactory and somehow wholesome) you were left wanting more and being sad it was already over. amy and clara both outlived their welcome (especially clara even though i very much prefer her to amy).

like idk what moffat was trying to do with the amy/rory situation cause it could have been tied up in 1 series, and as for clara... well let's just say by the end (or beginning or middle if we're being honest) he was forcing her and her regurgitated storylines (stolen from both rose and donna) down our throats like a ripe lemon.

except there was no deep foreshadowing well embedded into the storyline like with donna and rose. no. just a constant reminder of "don't worry, the doctor will figure that out at some point" by the doctor himself which is not how the doctor is supposed to work. the doctor is thick and daft and too caught up in the chaos of his life to notice anything and that's what's so good about it.

and i mean yeah, he did do some mild foreshadowing thing with amy and the silence and all (how good it actually was, it's up to you to decide i guess), but bro i'd forgotten all of it by the time we knew what was going on cause it happened over two series and they had to use a flashback i think so that people would see how clever it was.

also this exchange in forest of the dead between ten and river:

"doesn't work like that"

"it does for the doctor"

"i am the doctor"

"yeah. someday"

brother, what were you trying to pull? what's this five-year-old behaviour? "my doctor is better than your doctor" literally how old are we. what a way to tell us the writing of the future series will suck. like i'm sorry but by this point we don't know river, there is no attachment to that character, we have never seen her in our lives. we don't gaf. by this point she's just an annoying lady telling one of the most epic, well-written, consistent versions of the doctor that he is no match to a future doctor written by a dude who's not like other dudes and whose self-insert is a little too on-the-nose. as well as his misogyny. (i love eleven he was hilarious, i just think he's a victim of bad writing and inconsistency)

every tenth doctor episode written by moffat, the only recognizable thing about ten is david tennant's acting. ten goes and falls for madame de pompadour over what? her boobies? even in classic who which was peak misogyny, the doctor wasn't like that. ten spent less than five minutes with reinette and you're gonna tell me that small minute was enough to make him fall for her? half of which she was a child, moreover? sure.

we can add to that donna's "if i had a face like yours i wouldn't hide it" to miss evangelista in forest of the dead yet again. why? how tf was that necessary??? i don't remember donna ever saying anything positive or negative about her own features apart from that. that was never the point. this isn't fanfiction. or how in that same episode miss evangelista became ugly in order to become clever. there's a real fkin pattern there.

how i miss the time women in doctor who didn't need to assault their men in order to be badass. a time when the doctor would have never forcefully kissed a married lesbian and made a sex joke after she rightfully slapped him. when bisexuality was taken seriously and not as a selling point. when doctor who was still doctor who

[professorofcosplay]

no matter what happens with season finale tomorrow, I am most definitely writing some kickass fanfiction

So if you’re at all in the Murder Drones fanbase, chances are you’re feeling a bit cheated right now. The series has had a lack of focus that even its most die-hard fans (such as moi) have noticed. The pace has just been too fast for it to really get down into character motives other than some basics and feels like it throws out more red herrings than real concrete answers. (Stay with me here.)

While I don’t know what Glitch, Vickers, or the team has planned for the finale, I can confidently say this. I feel like the series’s greatest flaw can also be its greatest strength for keeping the fan base alive after the finale. Yes, there’s a lot of red herrings, yes, there’s a lack of focus, yes, some of the characters don’t feel very fleshed out. But that gives us a wonderful opportunity to get to do that ourselves. It gives us a space and the freedom to be able to create what we want without half the fanbase going “NUH uh!1!”. Believe me, I’ve been in plenty of fanbases that while the source material is sound, well thought out, and executed flawlessly, it kind of left the fandom with little to play with when it came to worldbuilding, and when someone HAS tried to go and put their own personal spin on a character, portion of the story, or lore, people come out from the woodworks and dogpile on them. I personally think Murder Drones is in a perfect “problem” of the opposite. When there’s missing chunks to the story, that gives us plenty of room to reimagine the story with our own creative spin. I think that this’ll give the folks who’ve come to love MD a place to stay and a community to keep on creating in for a while to come. Yes, I’m sad it’s coming to an official end, but I think this will drive those of us who love it and care to create more amazing things that keep this series alive. Dare I say, more alive than ever before.

So in short, while I personally worry about this finale, remember, fellas, this gives the fanbase a place to shine ;)

[artists-ally]

I wanna start a blog but I’m not sure how to start off, I know I want to write and have some vague ideas but not sure what to do.

Any ideas or tips?

Alright get comfy I have so many things to say.

Above ALL. ELSE. for the love of god, do not give in to the pressure to constantly write. One day things will click on Tumblr, and asks and requests will start flooding in. You’re gonna get hundreds of likes and comments asking for more parts and whatnot. Do. Not. Give. In. To. The. Pressure. You’re going to get really excited, like “oh my god, finally I’m getting noticed and appreciated let me give them more!!” No. You will get burnt out and will hate it. Do it on your own time, whenever you want. Write what YOU want. Use that excitement in a way that has a positive impact on your work.

When it comes to planning what to write, just keep it simple. It doesn’t have to be some elaborate top to bottom detailed guide. I personally just use bullet points. And trust me, none of it has to be cohesive. It can literally just look like this:

Reader goes to a party

Azriel is standing mysteriously in the corner

They catch eyes from across the room

Reader is dancing with friends, and some rando dude comes up and starts feeling up on them

Reader tells him to back off

He doesn’t

Readers friend goes to intervene

Azriel comes from the corner and takes the guy outside to show him what happens when you disrespect a woman

Az makes sure you and your friend are okay

You two get talking and plan to go on a date

It can just be something like that. Or sometimes the best plan is no plan and see where your brain takes you. Whatever you do, just make sure you’re writing it because YOU want to write it. That it’s the kind of context you’d like to read, and everything else will fall into place with time.

3. Write whatever you’re feeling. If you’re sad, write whatever you need to make yourself feel better. Whether that’s fluff, angst, or something else. If you want to be comforted, write something about a character taking care of you. If you’re angry, write a crazy betrayal. It is just you, your mind, and google docs.

4. Don’t be worried if your writing doesn’t INSTANTLY take off. THATS just not how shit happens here. And here’s a little tip, depending on your timezones, you’ll want to post at different times. I’ve found that posting later in the evening, at like 6-8pm on Friday, Saturday, or Sunday will yield the best results. It’s when people are settling in for the night and want to relax and read some good shit. But honestly, post whenever, people will find it.

5. Make yourself a rules/who you write for and post it on your masterlist. By all means, go ahead and look at mine for inspiration. When you find your audience, they will ask for more. Let them know what/who you’re comfortable writing for.

6. MAKE FRIENDS. Having some support when you’re stuck on a plot point and don’t know where to go from there is so nice!! We have such an amazing community of writers here and I have made lifelong friends on this app. Everyone has their own bits of advice they could give and having a different perspective or fresh set of eyes is really helpful.

7. Model what you see. Everyone has to start their writing journey somewhere. I’m not sure if you’ve ever written fanfiction before, but the first couple you put out there are definitely not going to be your best work. And be okay knowing that. The more you read, the more styles of writing you look at to develops your own is how you get to that sweet spot where everything you write is consistent and good quality. It could take months and years, it certainly took me a long fucking time to be able to produce the work I do, and that’s just how it goes. I’m proud of the work I post, no matter if it’s for Suits or ACOTAR, I love everything I put out. Be patient with yourself and allow room for mistakes.

8. Have a note in your phone for all your random ideas you come up with while out and about. Happens to me ALLL the time. I constantly have new ideas and having one collection of them all, that’s easy to access anywhere, is so smart.

9. Let’s talk about the layout of your blog!! The number one thing you should have is a masterlist! A collection of all your links to your writing. Take a look at mine and any of your other favorite writers to see what aspects you like/dislike. It should be organized and easy on the eyes, try not to have a billion things on there that are unnecessary. You can link who/what you write, all your fics, and whatever else you wanna post about!! Whether your requests are open or closed. Stuff like that. Make it to your aesthetic and exactly what you want. It’s like decorating your room, it can be anything.

10. Last but certainly not least, welcome to the tumblr writing community. We are so excited to have you here love, and I cannot wait to see all the amazing work you put out. If you’re nervous, don’t be!! We’re all here to lift each other up and help along the way. If you ever have questions, feel free to reach out!! All of us had to start somewhere. We know what it’s like to spend weeks and months posting stuff to only get 30-40 likes. But it’ll happen one day. With one re-blog everything will change, you just have to be patient

I’m going to tag some of my besties and hopefully they’ll re-blog or comment some of their advice and welcome you in!!

@thelov3lybookworm @sarawritestories @readychilledwine @berryzxx @bubybubsters @claireswritingcorner @milswrites @fell-in-luvs @riddlesb1tch @pit-and-the-pen @thehighladywrites

[showtoonzfan]

New leak for the next episode.

https://desu-usergeneratedcontent.xyz/co/image/1693/68/1693686060187.jpg

Vivzie wonders why we call her stuff a fanfiction, and then has Wattpad dialogue like this. Who TALKS like this bro lmao. This is supposed to be Fizz’s episode and once again they have Stolas making it about himself. He shouldn’t even BE in this episode. This is what I was worried about, him hogging the screen time. I’m also noticing an issue in Viv’s dialogue, she sure loves telling us shit we already know. We get it Viv, your owl bird is sad, gay and lonely and gets abused by evil one note Stella. You’ve made it clear. Still funny how she says she wants their relationship to be debated and deep despite writing shit dialogue like this. God I hate Stolas so much.

[willryist]

♢ Troubles Washed in the River ♢

Pairing: Arthur Morgan x Male Reader

Fluff, Hurt/Comfort

1,053 words

AO3 Post

Masterlist

ALSO DON'T KILL ME FOR THE WRITING THIS IS THE FIRST FULL FANFICTION THAT ISN'T A JOKE IN YEARS.

»--•--«

You rub your eyes, taking in the bright sun that shone through them. Sat in your bedroll, you feel the same dreadful feeling you have for days now. You’ve had no motivation to even get yourself out of bed, let alone do anything productive. You stare down at your crossed legs, struggling to muster up the drive to pull yourself up and get some coffee. You hoped it might help you through this, as stupid as it felt.

You had to fight yourself just to wake up and start your morning. It took everything in you to not just sleep through the day. It took everything in you not to cry. You had no idea why you felt this sad. You’d been doing so much better these days, why you went back to this was beyond you. 

The sound of a familiar voice caught your attention. “Hey, you alright there?” 

Arthur leaned against one of the wooden poles that held up your tent, his hand rested on his belt.

Leaning back with your hands resting on your thighs, you give him a shrug. “I guess.” 

“That don’t sound like a guy who’s alright. Not to mention you’ve been glued to that bedroll for ‘bout three days now. What’s on yer mind?”

You looked off into the distance, contemplating his words. The last thing you wanted was for him to worry about you, but it seems like it’s too late now. You wished that if you didn’t answer he’d leave you alone and go on with his day, despite how unrealistic it was. The camp was anything but private, which had you even more bothered about telling him anything.

After a few moments of silence, Arthur spoke up. “How’s about we take a ride down to the river? It’ll get ya outta this tent.”

“Sure.” You used your hands to help you up on your feet. You felt heavier than you thought. Once up, you felt a throbbing pain in your head. Trying your hardest to ignore it, you trudged over to the hitching posts with Arthur.

Everything that you never paid any mind to now feels so tasking. Just getting on your horse feels impossible. You grip onto the saddle horn, foot lodged into the stirrup to help yourself up. You almost stumble and fall in the process. 

You notice Arthur gripping his reins, waiting for you.

“Sorry for makin’ ya wait, Arthur.” 

“Don’t pay it any mind. Let’s just get on.” Arthur’s horse trots through the wooded trail. You squeeze your horse’s ribs to cue it forward, following behind Arthur’s.

It wouldn’t be long before the two of you reached the Dakota River, riding down the hill that connected Horseshoe Overlook to the land near the water. 

Arthur pulled his horse to a stop at an open spot of grass near the river, a bit north from the town of Limpany. He unmounted and went to rest on the dirt, sat with his arm slung over his knee. He looked as if he were waiting for you to join him. 

You hop off of your horse and tie the reins to a nearby tree before going to sit by Arthur. A herd of deer gathered by the other side of the river, lapping up the flowing water. The tranquility of the scenery distracts you from your current situation. All you could focus on were the sounds of the chirping birds and leaves rustled from the faint wind.

“So, what’s been yer problem? I’d say you ain’t pullin’ yer weight around camp anymore, but you ain’t even eatin’. All anyone’s seen ya do these past few days is sleep or lie in your bedroll.” His gaze fixed on you. You couldn’t even look in his direction. 

You didn’t know how to put what you felt into words. You didn’t know how to explain to him why getting up in the morning felt like a constant fight, how you felt weighed down to the bedroll. That feeling of being so tired yet unable to sleep. You feared Arthur might not understand, or say that you were overreacting. 

“I don’t know, Arthur. I haven’t found the energy to get up. I feel exhausted but I can only get a couple hours of sleep, and I constantly feel on the verge of tears. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I haven’t felt like this in such a long time and it makes it extra upsetting that I’m back to this.” You choke back stray tears. The more you speak, the more you feel the waterworks come on.

“Back to this? It’s happened before?” 

“Yeah.” You wiped your eyes, vision turning cloudy from the tears. “Was on and off a lot. Used to have to get forced to eat or drink so I wouldn’t starve. I’ve done better for myself and it hasn’t happened in a few years. I have no idea what brought it on again, but now it feels worse than any other time.” 

You feel a hand rest on your shoulder. The touch was hesitant and awkward, yet the warmth still soothed you. “Well I’m.. not very sure how I can help ya. Whatever ya need, just holler for me, okay?” 

“Okay.” You nod and lean into his touch, head resting on his shoulder. Arthur tensed up from the sudden movement. His shoulders unbunched as he relaxed, his hand trickling down from your shoulder to your upper arm to pull you closer. Taking a quick glance at his face, you notice the faint red on his cheeks.

The two of you sat in silence, enjoying the soft embrace of one another. Above everything, you were glad to know Arthur would be there to support you. You knew this episode wouldn’t go away just like that, but having Arthur might lighten the load.

“Don’t tell a soul about any of this, y’hear?” 

“Don’t plan on it. Thank you, by the way. For gettin’ me up and out. Felt useless and guilty for rotting away like that.”

“Don’t be too hard on yourself for it, now.” Arthur’s thumb rubbed against your upper arm in slow strokes. “We should be headin’ back to camp, don’t want people suspectin’ anything.” 

“Can’t we stay a bit longer? I only just got comfortable.”

Arthur sighs. “Only for a bit.”

»--•--«

[whxre-bxby]

Fanfiction further down! Scroll!

Recom Mansk x Recom f. Y/N 

Masterlist

"Greeting Death With A Smile"

Summary: Mansk is present on the boat for the last fight against Sully and Neytiri. He gets wounded and thinks he’s going to die alone. Luckily you find him in time, but you don’t know if it’s already too late.

WARNINGS: uhm TEARS, ANGST, Death, Blood, Violence tiniest bit of sad fluff, I’M BALLING MY EYES OUT WHILE WRITING THIS I THINK THAT SAYS ENOUGH

(Like, read at your own risk cuz I’m in pain I miss him sm)

Word Count: 4102

If u wanna feel even sadder i recommend you listen to (When it‘s cold I‘d like to die alone) it helped me cry my eyes out to the point that the tears burned my skin :)

Quaritch was giving instructions while, Lyle, Z-Dog, Prager, Mansk, and I stood close and listened. We were the only recom’s that I knew were alive. All the others had since been killed but since new things always kept happening, we couldn’t let our guard down and there was no time to mourn. 

I had to run past Ja who lay lifeless on deck and it made me feel sick. I felt the urge to at least pull his body somewhere else but I knew we didn’t have time. 

We had two of Jake’s kids hostage here with us and the Colonel was trying to get him to turn himself in for his daughters. 

I sighed, not knowing whether I would live to see another day. I wasn’t even sure why I was doing this or whether I thought it was right. But as a marine, you’re taught to listen to orders, even if you don’t agree with them. Listen and obey. That’s how you become a good soldier. And definitely never doubt your superior because they know what they’re doing. 

Deep down, I did doubt it though. Not just Quaritch’s plan but this whole mission. Our existence. It was all still a big mess to me. 

“Hold fire!” Quaritch orders as we watch him and Spider dive back into the water. 

“He’s comin’.” he added, turning to me and another human soldier. 

I pin my ears back and hold back a shiver from the cold. My clothes were wet but ignored the feeling and focused on holding my weapon ready. 

“Let’s get this guy.” Quaritch said like it were the easiest thing in the world. My ears perk up. I listen even though I doubt. Even though I don’t understand, I listen. 

“It’s what we came here for.” the Colonel keeps talking, looking at everyone around him. 

I notice how all of us are no longer fully with him. Prager and I exchange looks but with no expression because we are both in denial of our doubts and worries. Pretending they aren’t real. 

Even Lyle doesn’t nod along to his superior's words like he usually would. He would always back up everything Quaritch said but now he just stared at the ground, holding his gun and letting the Colonel’s words go in one ear and out the other.

Mansk looks at us and I can tell he has the same problem. We aren’t convinced but what option do we have? We’ve already done so much harm here. Once again. There’s no turning back because we’re marked down as the enemy for every single Na’vi on this planet. 

We aren’t wanted here so we must listen. 

To be completely honest, when I look at Quaritch one may think he knows what he’s doing. But I also occasionally catch a glimpse of doubt in his eyes. As if he weren’t sure why he would want to do this. Maybe he isn’t. I know damn well most of us hate the humans we used to be but we can’t do anything about it. 

He claps his hands together and his confident expression returns. He tells us to take our places and I look at the ground before going to cover my area of ground. 

We waited in silence for Sully to arrive and within the next few minutes, something exploded on the top deck. Prager and Z-Dog ran up the steps while I stayed on the lower deck with the rest of the team which is also where our hostages were. 

My ears flick in multiple directions as I hear screams and I see Neytiri land on her Ikran. Her presence here meant death to many. Perhaps it would be me too. 

Bodies start falling and I run over to pull a few soldiers out of the fire. Quaritch retreated to take cover close to where the two kids were while Lyle and Mansk continued to cover their ground. 

Someone shouted ‘Eyes up’ and I saw Jake and Neytiri land on the lower deck now. That meant they wiped out the entire top deck already.

I see Lyle and Mansk still standing and am about to go to them when I hear a scream of agony behind me. An injured soldier covered in flames. Without thinking, I run to him, pulling him away from the oil-covered metal pole and helping him put out the fire on his leg. He’s missing his other one. 

He lets his body fall back and sighs a little in relief, seeming to not feel the pain of his missing leg due to shock. I know he won’t make it through this. There is no one here to help. Everyone is trying to live. 

Quickly, I turn around and that’s when I see Lyle get pushed over the rail by Jake who turns in the opposite direction of me. Mansk is no longer in sight. 

I leave the wounded man behind because he passed out and I wouldn’t be able to help him anyway. I also just happened to care slightly more for Mansk and Lyle. 

I jog over to a large red metal pole, keeping my gun raised an looking around. Maybe a recom was injured and needed aid or perhaps I could spot either Jake or Neytiri and get at least one of them down. 

I press myself against the side of the column, looking over my shoulder at the rail which Lyle fell down. His body looked limp as it fell, making my gut wrench. Probably nothing I could save. 

Suddenly I hear a distant shout. 

“Y/N!” the voice of the Colonel echoes through the blood-stained walls of the ship. 

I flinch and just as I go to turn around, my knee is kicked in and I’m hit in the head with the base of a gun. 

I fall forwards and my body summersaults over a rail. My movements stop for a split second until my weight rolls to one side and suddenly I’m falling again. I land on the hard ground with a big thud which sends immense waves of pain through my body. 

In a state of shock, I look up at the hole I was pushed in but no one is standing there anymore. 

Slowly I get up, holding my side. I can’t move properly. I think I broke or at least cracked a rib. The lights in here are broken and since only a few work, it’s very dim. 

I look up and notice I’m not alone. 

Mansk couldn’t comprehend what happened fast enough. His heart dropped when Jake pointed the gun at him but luckily he ran out of ammo. In the next second, he lost his balance and hit his head on a metal pole next to him, falling over it. He saw Jake take his gun and launch it away before his upper body started tilting back. 

His upper body was resting over what seemed to be a dent in the ground but as he slowly turned in pain, he realised it went further down. Mansk felt as though he was slowly falling through the ground but he couldn’t prevent it because his eyes kept blacking out. He saw how he slowly fell into darkness and his feet lifted into the air, falling with him into the void.

The sound of gunshots and shouts was distant now and he lay at the bottom of the hole he didn’t see before. Light reflected inside from the fire above but it wasn’t strong enough to help him see. 

He groaned in pain, slowly lifting his injured body off the ground and pushing himself against a wall so that he was sitting upright. Mansk saw his shades on the ground next to him and noticed they were broken. 

He once made a joke that he would die with them when Lyle teased him about constantly wearing them. Maybe it was time. 

His head would drop in the direction the ship tilted as he lay limp against the cold metal. 

Mansk shouted for help, calling out the names of the people he thought might still be around but there was no answer. No one heard him.

His vision became blurry and when he looked down he saw his abdomen was covered in a small puddle of blood. Whether it was his he didn’t know. 

But he wasn’t afraid he would die. This is how he imagined it. He knew very well that one doesn’t mourn death in the military on Pandora. Mansk was ready to close his eyes for the last time and die alone, in peace. After all, it was his fate. Even though he hadn’t accomplished his mission, this is what always awaited him. 

He lost track of time and seemed to be drifting in and out of consciousness every few minutes. What woke him up was a scream which came from right above him and a thud of a body which landed a few feet from Mansk. His eyes managed to open and he saw a blue figure. Blood pumped through his veins as the feeling of fear returned again but once he noticed the U.S uniform, he dropped his head back in relief. It wasn’t Jake or Neytiri. 

I whine out in agony as I straighten my posture and see Mansk sitting and leaning against a wall. My face brightens and for a second I forget about the pain. 

“Mansk!” I shout, leaning back down on all fours and hugging my waist while looking up at him. He lifts his head and his eyes widen when he sees me. 

“Y/N?” he asks, but his voice sounds weak. I smile, feeling relieved he’s alive and that I’m not alone. 

“Oh thank god, I thought everyone was-” I say, crawling over to him before my hand comes in contact with a small puddle of fluid. I want to shake if off my skin but when I glance down I notice its colour. It’s not water, it’s blood. And it’s not mine but his.

My heart sinks when my eyes move higher up Mansk’s body, noticing how his blood has drenched the clothes on his stomach. When I look up at him he’s gazing at me with half-lidded eyes. Just above them, a new trail of blood is forming and slowly drizzling down the side of his face. 

“Oh, Mansk…” I whisper, ignoring my own pain and kneeling next to him. His eyes follow me as I move around him and he looks weak and exhausted. I don’t think he can move much more than his head. 

“Where are you hurt?” I ask, gently lifting his arm to check whether the blood is coming from his side.

“I don’t know…” he whispers, barely moving his lips or jaw. His eyes occasionally close while I apply pressure to check where the pain is coming from.

I hear him hiss through clenched teeth and I gently return it to its previous position. “Sorry,” I whisper.

He breathes heavily through his nose, looking down at himself. I notice how the blood doesn’t seem to stop. 

“Come on, we need to get you back.” I softly say, lifting his arm over my shoulder. But I didn’t know how to get out of here, I was just hoping that the darkness would lead to a door which could lead us outside.

“No.” he breathes out and his body tenses. I freeze my movements and look at him. 

“You can’t stay here Mansk.” I say, trying to motivate him to see if he can get up. 

“I can’t move.” he whispers, biting down on his teeth as he tries to pull his arm from my shoulder. 

“Y/N, I can’t feel my legs…” His jaw trembles and his voice breaks a little. His words go straight to my heart, seeming to tear it in two.

I look away, furrowing my eyebrows together while I convince myself that there must be another way. Quickly, in hopes of helping him, I lean over his body and apply pressure on his big wound to try and stop the bleeding. 

I feel the corners of my eyes sting and my nose itch. The common sign that showed me I was about to tear up. 

Mansk sighed and when I looked up at him he was softly smiling at me. It wasn’t a happy smile, but an appreciative one. 

Mansk knew that what you were doing wouldn’t save him, but your attempt made him smile. Knowing you cared enough about him not to leave him behind warmed his heart as it slowed its beating. 

“Stop looking at me like that, I’m gonna get you out of here.” I say, having to look away because otherwise, I might just break down. But my words didn’t seem to convince Mansk at all. They just refreshed his fading smile. 

Even if we would somehow make it out of this room, our chances of dying were probably worse on deck because Jake and Neytiri were still there. And if they weren’t, there was no way we could get off this ship. We were both too wounded to fly our Ikrans. It wouldn’t work.

With the next inhale he tensed up and coughed while I steadied him and kept him sitting upright. His legs were motionlessly laying on the floor in front of him while his chest heaved. I noticed him cough out a few drops of blood which is what did it for me. Mansk wasn’t doing well and my hopes of him surviving were dying out. 

“Thank you…” he whispered as his cough finally retreated. I look up at him through glossy eyes, wondering what he meant. I wasn’t going to let him see me cry, because crying would be acknowledging that he wasn't going to make it. As long as I held them back, there was still hope in me. 

“I thought I’d-” he said, being cut off by gasping for air. “...die alone.” 

A smile formed on his lips again as his eyes remained fixed on my face. 

Mansk knew all recom’s were something close to friends but he didn’t think he ever had anyone close enough to him to stay with him through his last moments. He expected to be left behind somewhere, injured and no longer deemed as useful. 

“Come on Mansk, don’t give up on me.” I say, my forced calm voice breaking as I feel my bottom lip begin to quiver. 

“I’m glad you’re here…” he struggled to say, forcing the words out of his pained chest while keeping his faint smile. It was slowly fading again.

I gasp, pressing my lips together to not lose it. I reach for his limp and blood-stained hand and hold it between both of mine. Feeling how cold it is has me fighting back tears. 

I shiver from shock and pain. My broken rib was poking me and it hurt like hell.

"I can't save us." I whisper to myself, my voice trembling.

Suddenly, I feel how my legs are wetted and I look down, dreading to see blood but this time it is water. The room was slowly tilting to one side and the water was flowing in from the other side of the room. Mansk had noticed it too. 

“You-” he said before coughing up more blood and I lost it. “You need to go.” he said, his voice sounding pained and forced. I knew he was suffering but I couldn’t let him die here. 

“I’m not leaving you, Mansk.” I whisper, pressing his palm against my cheek. The tears blur my vision before spilling down my cheek, burning my skin a little. 

“You can- live.” he says, swallowing back a cough while he struggles to breathe. 

I clench my eyes closed, not wanting him to leave me as well. I knew Mansk for a long time and even though we were never really close, he had been a part of my life since I arrived on Pandora. We rarely talked but we knew we had each other's back and it didn’t cross my mind that I could lose him during this war. Now that I was face to face with the aftermath of violence, I was crumbling down. He meant too much to me, I couldn’t let him go. 

“Don’t worry about me.” I whisper, forcing a trembling smile onto my face. I point to the opening of the hole we fell through. “I’ll get out there.” I say and his eyes slowly drift from my face to the opening in the ceiling and then back to me. He doesn’t seem sure of it but he doesn’t question it any further. His movements become so faint that I notice his presence slowly fading away. Mansk’s eyes slowly unfocus from my face and I reach out and cup his cheek while tears continue to spill from my eyes. 

“Mansk-” I sob, trying to stay composed in front of him. He blinked, opening his slowly closing eyes a bit more and looking at me again. 

“... stay with me, come on.” 

My fingers gently tap his cheek while the water on the floor mixes with his blood. 

Mansk opens his mouth to say something but he can’t push out a single word and instead, he slowly struggles to inhale before closing his mouth again. 

I hold his palm against my chest, roughly where my heart is as I try to keep his attention on me. 

“Please, don’t do this to me…” I sob, clutching his hand. He stares at me and his eyes look sad but he can’t say or do anything. 

“Mansk, please you’re all I have left.” I cry out, dropping my head down before looking up at him. 

“Thank you…” he repeats and ever so faintly whispers. He was grateful I was by his side because in truth Mansk did want to live. Mansk wanted to wake up to the morning the next day and be with everyone else. But that wasn’t possible. Not only because he was slowly dying, but because everyone has had since probably died.

I rub my thumb over his cheek, trying to comfort him. He’s looking into my eyes and furrows his eyebrows together a little as if he were confused about whether my tears are actually for him. Like he didn’t think he was worth my pain. 

Mansk looked at me almost apologetically and his lips parted while he tried to get more air into his lungs. I couldn’t see his chest heaving anymore but I felt so mild air fanning from his mouth with small exhales. 

I bit down on my lip, watching him and needing proof of life every few seconds. 

He’s staring at me, grateful he wasn’t left alone and I notice how his eyes start to unfocus again. I gently tap his cheek, waiting for his eyes to readjust like they did last time but this time Mansk’s head is slowly falling to the side and into my palm. His eyes fade out and stare into nothing as they move from my face to the empty space behind me. His soft breath stopped fanning against my hand and his face was no longer contorted in pain or sorrow. It was blank and relaxed. 

Mansk’s hand slowly drifted off my chest and loosely fell on his lap.

I wanted to scream and call his name but all words got stuck in my throat and I held onto him while my mouth gaped open. Tears fell from my face onto his now lifeless and numb body. 

His blood continued to colour the rising water around me red. It had already overflowed his legs and reached up to his waist. 

I held on to his body, pressing my face against his shoulder and crying my eyes out. 

At this point, I had lost absolutely everyone and everything. We couldn’t return to family on Earth because we were Na’vi and now we had all lost each other. 

Z-Dog lay on the top deck with a bow in her hip and one in her face while the ship started to slowly sink. 

Prager lay on his side, motionless with a spear through his chest. 

Lopez’s body had now sunk to the bottom of the ocean after he was shot by an arrow. 

Walker, Zhang and Fike both had been shot down by arrows too.

Warren and Brown got an axe in their body.

Ja I had left behind after he was killed by the Tulkun. 

Lyle was floating in the water, struggling to stay above the surface.

I didn’t know where Quaritch was but I knew he couldn’t help me. 

And Mansk… lay bleeding out in front of me, lifeless and cold. His head was tilted to the side and I knew that he was gone. I could never talk to him again. I would never see him again. I know even if I survived, they wouldn’t retrieve his body and he would stay here and sink with the ship. 

The water was filling the room more rapidly now but I still clung on to Mansk, crying his name. 

I noticed his broken shades floating in the water and picked them up. 

Remembering how much he liked to wear them I steadied his head and carefully put them on him after closing his eyelids. He would have thanked me if he could have for this.

My body was shaking but I knew I was going to die here too if I didn’t leave soon. I get up and the water reached up to Mansk’s neck already. It was gushing in from a half-open door on the other side of the dark room. 

I look up, making sure the exit is still there but suddenly I see the water start flowing in from the top. The entire room is slowly turning over and the water flowing on deck has managed to push over the door which now completely closed off the hole we were in. 

The room gets a lot darker and the water is leaking in from the side and from the top. 

I groan out in pain through my sobs. I have tears staining my cheeks and my nose became runny and stuffed. This isn’t how I wanted things to end. We were finally starting to enjoy being alive on Pandora and now we died because our past selves made us finish something they couldn’t. 

I look back at Mansk and see that he is fully submerged in the water now. I cry out, hating how helpless he is and how helpless I feel now. My side aches even more and I clutch my broken rib, trying to bite back the pain. I wouldn’t be able to swim in this anyway. 

Within minutes, my feet are no longer touching the ground and my head is bumping against the ceiling. I’m crying out for help in pain but no one can hear anything over the noise of the flowing water. I wonder if anyone is still alive but I highly doubt it. There is a crack in the wall which is letting the oxygen in the room be replaced with water. I struggle to swim and keep my head above the surface. 

(Art)

But then I ask myself, why I’m fighting? There was no use to it. Everyone was gone and I was stuck and injured. 

I deeply inhale one last time before the entire room is submerged in water. My eyes open and I peer down at Mansk, who is lifelessly half laying at the bottom. 

Since I’m going to die I might as well join him there so neither of us has to be alone. 

I swim down with the last of my strength, watching how the last few bubbles of air escape his slightly parted lips. My hand once again reaches for his and I hold on to it for some form of comfort before I face upwards and let all the air I have to escape my lungs. 

I start choking and look at Mansk. The light specks on our skin were slightly illuminating the water but his were more faded. I looked closer and watched how the light slowly vanished from him, one dot at a time. 

It wasn’t long before I started drowning and a few minutes later, my lifeless, artificial blue body sunk down and joined Mansk on the floor of the ship.

Our bodies would stay here, most likely forever since all the death here was just a failed mission. 

The lights from my body had now disappeared too and we were dragged down to the bottom of the ocean along with the ship. All because some humans wanted us to finish what they couldn’t.

So there I lay, greeting death with a smile once again, in hopes of meeting Mansk someday and somewhere far from here.

(I'm going to try and make some art to this)

Tag List: @drinking-tea-and-be-obsessed @number1gal

[mcytblrconfessions]

*sighs in sadness* Ocean Queen Lizzie you were too good a character to be released onto the masses who couldn't characterize you well in fanfiction to save your life :(

The joy your story brought me (self-proclaimed number one Ocean Queen fan /hj) is immense, but it does not cancel out the multitudes of fanfiction flattening you into a hollow shell of yourself who only exists as an extension of the men in your life, clogging the LDShadowLady fandom tag and making it nigh-impossible to fin the (rare) fic in which Lizzie is in-character

And trust me, I know. My experiences are born out of pain and sorrow. Deep in the clutches of hyperfixation, I checked the LDShadowLady tag several times every day for months, no filters. I looked at every fic in the tag, and the backlog of fics. I read every fic in the tag, with only a few exceptions for the most truly unstomachable fic. Even as my hyperfixation loosened, I still checked the LDShadowLady tag often, and scrolled through the backlog. I still read every Lizzie centric fic I can find, and a lot that isn't. I still am on a constant search for good Lizzie fic (please: anyone want to recommend any fics? I'm sure there's stuff I'm missing/missed/forgot to bookmark! she doesn't have to be the main character, just significant!)

I have gazed into the abyss. I have absorbed the scope of it. I have written fic on my own.

And yet: the problem is less with the lack of Lizzie fics, and more with the bad ones, the ones that don't actually feature her in any real capacity, which becomes easy to see once you've read a lot of them noticed the pattern, just a combination of sidelining, of mischaracterization, and mischaracterization by omission, that trap that is so easy to fall into.

I can forgive fandom for this to an extent. No fic writer is perfect, this is about the collective patterns. But after a certain point, it starts becoming harder to ignore: the way she is written into fics only to warp around c!Jimmy (sometimes other male characters) with zero regard for her interiority, her agency, her struggles, her potential, in fics that give male side characters these things.

The way she is ignored varies. Sometimes it is the most blatant examples: she is put in a situation in which multiple canon traits/opinions/experiences of hers would obviously be relevant, but all are ignored except supportive sister. Sometimes it is more subtle: it iisn't a plot hole that her being a supportive sister/caring/"strong woman girlboss" (in the way that doesn't actually give her any agency or depth or plot importance, she's still a flat character only there for support, but actually we only write her as a personw with no interior depth or anything interesting bc she's just so cool and competent and perfect there aren't any problems that give us reasons to focus on her or give her like, a character arc or something) is the only thing that comes up in the au, but the fact that the author didn't find anything else about her interesting or worthy of show, never considered showing her in more depth, giving her an arc, giving her choices to make, the fact that over and over again authors decide that the only reason to show her is if she's supporting a guy, grates a whole fucking lot. Mostly, it is more subtle but once you see it you will never stop unseeing it. I try to repeat it but I just sound like a broken record.

Am I going insane for noticing this when nobody else seems to? I worry that, even being mad mostly at the trend and not the individual writers, I am still somehow being too unfair to them. I check my line of thought over and over. Then, once again, I am reading a fic and I can't stop thinking about how it's another fic in the pattern, and I try to find something that isn't and it takes me pages and pages, and I am so angry again. Death by a thousand pinpricks. Driven insane by a thousand lackluster Lizzie portrayals.

It's hard not to feel crazy. People like the Ocean Queen! People don't dislike her character! She just slowly gets flattened, over and over. Never any interest in her depths. (yes I am ocean punning at a time like this)

I am awash in a sea of misery. Every day I think of her and I wish for a world where people liked her better. Where she was the character with a million fics exploring her potential. I think about it and I think about her and I think about my fic for her and the good fics I've read for her and I open another fic where Lizzie is tagged and I hope.

(The pain these fics bring me is immense but the joy I feel about the character is greater, at least. Mostly I think about that. Two sides to everything, how unfortunate/lucky)

Ocean Queen I love you.

[tommykinard6]

I don't mean to pile onto your bad day but I've been seeing a lot of creators on tiktok complain/compare the bucktommy and henren tags/fic count on ao3 because there's almost more bucktommy fics then there are henren fics. The number one claim is always that bucktommy writers are racist because we don't write for henren. But like, that's not correct at all? People can write fanfiction for whatever they want to. If they want to see more henren stuff then they can write it on their own.

We can coexist without fighting each other. I'm just tired of people screaming about how bucktommy is anti this or anti that, when we're just vibing by ourselves and don't want the drama but the drama finds us anyway because Sucky People are loud and get heard the most.

You’re good, anon. It actually gave me something to think about during work.

As a quick disclaimer, before we begin, I’m not a POC. I am not speaking for anyone in the Black community and am not attempting to speak over them. My following thoughts are as a queer woman-ish who is also a writer.

I think it must be noted that Hen and Karen have been overlooked since day one. The fact that Buck coming out made it the “gay firefighter show” when we’ve had a beautiful canonical lesbian couple since the very beginning? Is only proof. Is this proof of racism in the fandom? Maybe. Quite possibly. I would argue that it comes from a misogynistic point as well.

If you look in any fandom, regardless of the color of their skin, any wlw ship is horribly overlooked. I’ve done some tag searching on ao3. Straight and mlm ships battle for dominance while there are canonical and fanonical wlw ships that have a drastic difference in numbers. This isn’t a good thing. But it’s an experience that spans fandoms.

I find it sad that BuckTommy has almost more fics, with only two episodes under their belt, than Henren with 7 seasons. However, this isn’t a reason to hate on BuckTommy. The ship didn’t do anything wrong. Comparison is the thief of joy and it’s also rage bait. I think that some creators simply are using anything they can to hate on BuckTommy. Which that makes it sadder, that they aren’t concerned about Henren other than pushing their own agenda.

This isn’t to say all creators who are speaking about this are doing this, but I guarantee some are.

Now, let me speak as a writer.

As someone with 62 published fics on ao3, I write almost exclusively mlm ships. This isn’t because I hate women. And as a queer woman-ish, don’t even start about homophobia. But for some reason, I find it so much easier to write men than I do to write women. This is true for straight and wlw ships and also just in general. I love Henren, but I don’t have the faintest idea about how to write them.

It’s hard enough to write as it is and I’m already writing on ships that are easy for me. I try to write women and it just hasn’t come out right. I want to challenge myself, branch out, and maybe I’ll write for Henren to do that. But I say all this to point out that for some people like me, writing some ships and demographics of ships are just a little more difficult.

That leads me into something else.

I, as a white person, worry about accidentally writing non-white characters wrong. And this was reinforced not too long ago when we had that whole thing on ao3 with deliberate racism in 9-1-1 fics. If anyone has resources or advice for writing non-white characters, I would love to hear that! The last thing I want to do is cause any harm.

I feel like I’ve spoken a lot about me, but that’s because I can’t really speak for anyone else. I can only speak from my experience.

We already have a ship war between BuckTommy and Buddie. We don’t need to pit more people against each other. I think we can love BuckTommy while agreeing that Henren needs to be seen and appreciated and treated equally.

End note to say: I tried to speak as delicately and as sensitively as I could, but if anything came out wrong, please feel free to point it out (kindly). Again, I speak for no one but my very little section of the world. I’m interested to hear what people of other backgrounds have to add!

[starsofang]

you deserve hell fire for this chapter. my emotions are everywhere. do you get off on pain? do you hate me? do you hate your other readers? do you hate the 141? do you hate dove? DO YOU HATE HAPPINESS???

The description of Graves is absolutely and utterly fucking disgusting and I feel like puking reading about it so thank you for that angie 😐 how dare you let him put his hands on dove????? HE GRABBED AND AND PUSHED HER TO THE GROUND. “She’s getting kicked down repeatedly.” - You in my Dm’s 2 days ago. I DIDNT KNOW YOU MEANT LITERALLY😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 WHAT IS WDONG WITH YOU😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 He put his nasty foot on her which okay first off, he needs to kill himself in the most violent way possible.

Im going to off on a nursing rant here because whenever I see injured mentioned in fanfiction my little nurse brain becomes happy. The pressure he would’ve had to put on her to actually crack and or break her rib is insane. People think it’s easy to break a rib but in reality ribs are protecting the heart, lungs and multiple other very needed organs. They NEED to be strong. He would’ve had to been practically stepping on her, he needed to be meaning to break her rib. Not to mention the healing process of broken ribs is excruciating. Anyways….

I come to your unholy abode to murder you with my screaming of how fucking amazing the chapter was despite my crying. The way they were worried about her, the way they were truly showing that she meant something to them and they weren’t just heartless brutes. I mean WE knew that but did she?? The wayJohn Fucking Price YELLS AND THREATENS GRAVES. THE WAY HE KNEW HOW TO HIT A NERVE. THE WAY HE COULD SHOW POWER EVEN WITH A GUN TO HIS HEAD. GIVE ME HIM NOW. MY LEGS ARW WIDE OPEN.

AND GAZ😭😭 “Talk to me, dove, I’m right here, focus on me.” WHAT THE FUCK😭😭 He worries so much about her, he fucking adores her and that’s what I love about Gaz and how you write him you crazy maniac. And as much as I would love to continue to speak about him let me skirt over to the fucking telescope. Why. why???? why would you sit here, make us think that the telescope was a sweet gift and even tease us with a kiss and the have graves STEAL IT?? THE LEAST YOU COULDVE DONE WAS GIVE US THAT DAMN KISS.???? My notes are progressively getting longer because I actually had typed out my opinion on the prophecy in my docs and i even MENTIONED the telescope before I was like “nah that doesn’t make sense.” YOY GASLIGHTED ME. WHAT DOES HE WANT WITH THAT DAMB THING.

THEM IMMEDIATELY GOING TO HER😭😭 GHOST FEELINGS GUILTY AND PRICE HATING WHAT HAPPENED😭😭 “We need a medic.” “She’s the medic!” That’s weirdly heartbreaking in a way that I could not put into words. Them all turning around hesitantly and not because they wan’t to be weirdos but because they are all so confused and concerned and don’t want to take their eyes off her. ESPECIALLY SOAP😭

Something is going to happen whilst they are on land looking for a doctor🤷🏼‍♀️ I just know you a bit too well by now.

THE KISS. THE KISS. THE KISS. THE KISS. ARE YOU GUYS HEARING ME. THE FUCKING KISS. HE GOT TO HER FIRST DESPITE EVERYTHING. “As long as I’m first.” OKAY SO MAYBE FUCK ME PLEASE?????????? HE STAYED WITH HER😭 SHE IS EVERYTHING TO THEM😭😭

IM KILLING YOU ANGIE😭😭😭😭

here comes my biggest opp 🙄

to be fair, i did warn u. in my own words, i said she got fucked up, i meant that shit. it’s my dream to write angst 😍 fun fact rlly fun fact i have a crush on cod graves so i had to make him as despicable as possible in this fic so i dont start to trip over him

i am no nurse, im working in a pharmacy for my degree (slay) but BOY DO I KNOW THAT SHIT HURTS. im the clumsiest person alive and ive broken so many bones that it’s sad atp. SO SOMEBODY UNDERSTANDS THE EXTENT OF A FRACTURE ESPECIALLY TO THE RIBS BECAUSE MY GOD THAT SHIT FEELS LIKE YOURE BREATHING THRU A JUICEBOX, PLS i had to make dove suffer as i have

THE ROOM SCENE WITH ALL OF THEM WAS MY FAVORITE TO WRITE UGHHHH FINALLY HAVING THEM ALL CONVERSING AS ONE AND SHARING THEIR WORRIES 😫 like a steak dinner istg

(i make no promises for next chapter, or the ones upcoming) (i have not planned it yet)

THE KISS I TOLD YOU TO TRUST MEEEE WHEN HAVE I EVER LET YOU DOWN. u were going crazy in my dms threatening murder and look here we are. u got ur wish. never falter in ur trust in me bc everybody knows by now when i say trust you trust 🗣️

also absolutely hearing you out on price. he’s a damn fine sir in this fic. it makes me hungry. i did it all for u.

I LOVE YOUUU 😜

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

listen, I'm not being dramatic at all when I say most people don’t know how exhausting being a fanfic writer can be. I mean I understand why they tend to think it’s an ‘activity we do in our free time’ where we just sit in our beds in front of our laptops and type something away when we’re bored. thing is, I wish it were that easy. but it’s not. sometimes we spend hours doing research, sometimes — most of the times — it takes us so long to think of words to form a sentence, because the sentences/dialogues you see in a fanfic aren’t the same as a conversation we have with people irl in our daily lives where we don’t have to worry about whether or not it’s ‘smooth’ or ‘in-character’ or ‘aesthetically satisfying’ enough. that one sentence you read in a fic could take the author so long to come up with, to craft the words and put them together, and as someone who also writes, this isn’t an exaggeration at all. I could say “he saw a girl with her mom today, and thought of his own mom because he missed her” to you as a normal irl conversation, but once I put that in my fic, it turns into “His eyes landed on a little girl, she couldn't have been older than six. She was with her mother, and they were both smiling. A soft smile tucked at the corner of his lips then, a wave of nostalgia washed over his heart as his memories led him back to his mother’s home, when he was little. He hadn’t seen her in so long, but he remembered the scent of her morning coffee; warm and cozy, just like her hugs.” and I'm not talking about the constant feelings that your works are never over. because once you finished a chapter or a one-shot, that you worked on for so long, and posted it, you’re almost immediately hit with the feelings that you have to start working on your next fic right now, otherwise you’re not being productive enough, and all your self-worth comes from how much/how fast/how well/how often you write. so instead of rewarding yourself with a night without any writing where you can give yourself a nice relaxing bath or binge watch a show or any other thing you enjoy doing, you start writing something new. and it’s just so exhausting, but we do it anyway.

now imagine you doing all of this. so other people can read your works. for free. while you’re also busy with work/life/your actual job. you get nothing in return — from pulling an all-nighter for 3 nights in a row, just to finish a chapter of your fic — except kudos and comments.

being a writer who published original works as their main source of income is super cool, of course, but it’s sad how fanfic writers are often seen as less than ‘actual’ writers when I've read a lot of fanfictions that were better written than an actual published novel. a fanfic writer is as much of a writer as any other writer who writes and publishes their original works as their main source of income.

anyway, my point is, we as fanfic writers don’t make any money from our works. we do it simply because of our love for the characters in the fandoms we’re in. please please please please always show your appreciation to your favorite authors by giving them kudos and commenting on their works. if you’re shy or if you don’t know what to comment, just say ‘I enjoyed reading this so much’ or ‘I liked this chapter so much’ or how reading it made you feel; it can be ‘this made me cry. thank you’ or ‘I smiled to myself while reading this *inserts a part or a dialogue from the fic* thank you for writing this’. literally anything. even if the authors don’t respond to you, I can guarantee you that they read your comments and it made them smile and they appreciate your support more than you know. literally comments are also what motivate them to write more fics for you to read.

that being said, if you’re a fanfic writer and you’d love to promote your works under this post. PLEASE FEEL FREE TO DO SO.

PLEASE PROMOTE YOUR FICS. THIS IS A PLACE FOR YOU TO SHAMELESSLY PROMOTE THE BEAUTIFUL MASTERPIECES YOU WROTE ABOUT YOUR BLORBOS. ANY SHIP. ANY FANDOM. YOU CAN PROMOTE THEM IN REBLOGS OR TAGS. YOUR WORKS DESERVE MORE LOVE!

[pythagoras180]

Canon is Better than Scarlet Lady

I while ago I read a post where someone said that they don't like fanfiction because "Why would you take someone else's story and butcher it?" When I read that, I thought "Isn't that harsh? Most fanfics are made out of people's love for the source material." Well, I think the Scarlet Lady AU by Zoe-Oneesama is exactly the kind of fic this person was imagining when they said that. "Scarlet Lady" is a Miraculous Ladybug fanfic/saltfic/fixfic that fundamentally misses the point of pretty much every character and major plot point in it. And since it recently ended, it's time for my comprehensive review of it.

Just a few things before we begin. I'm going to assume that everyone reading this has read "Scarlet Lady", so I'm not going to recap the story. I was originally planning to write this on the day of the last page, but the final page was honestly such a nothing burger that I thought it wasn't the final page initially.

Some people may have a problem with the very concept of this review, saying its not fair for me to criticize a non-professional fanfic with this much scrutiny. I think that's an opinion Zoe herself holds. First, I think nothing is above criticism, especially not something that is claiming to be better than the professional product. People didn't hold back against "Spiderman: Lotus", did they? Even within this fanbase, people had some pretty harsh words for "Karma of Lies". Second, I think any discussion of non-professionalism went out the window the moment Zoe stated her intention to sell hardcopies of "Scarlet Lady". This arguably is professional. Third, I wouldn't be making this review if I this was a fanfic made out of genuine love and passion, and simply missed the mark. No, "Scarlet Lady" is in fact created out of nothing but spite and contempt, and I feel that makes it pretty fair game for criticism. So, without further ado, let's begin.

Why is Canon Better than Scarlet Lady?

In "Scarlet Lady", Emilie Agreste was woken up with no consequences, no buildup, no emotion, and no meaningful consequences. In canon, Emilie's loss was accepted by the characters and she died. I'm pretty sure that automatically makes canon better than "Scarlet Lady", so you don't even need to read the rest of this review! In all seriousness, this is genuinely some of the worst writing I have ever seen, and it is what made me decide that "Scarlet Lady" was a bad story, so I decided to just mention it on its own.

To be clear, I think Miraculous Ladybug is a poorly written show. "Scarlet Lady" is just worse. And since I used to enjoy Miraculous Ladybug, I'm in a good position to compare the two. When I read the ending of Scarlet Lady, what I though about canon was

I think that writing the middle part of a story is relatively easy. The audience is already hooked from the beginning, and they are intrigued for what might happen, so they'll keep reading even if not everything is great. I think the beginning and ending is the hard part. "Scarlet Lady" didn't have to worry about the beginning and getting people interested because it's piggybacking off of an already successful show. And since the ending of "Scarlet Lady" was so awful, it's clear to me that it was always badly written.

I'll now be analyzing "Scarlet Lady" in terms of its tone, its various characters, and more.

Tone

Every single potentially powerful moment in "Scarlet Lady" is played off as a joke. This may be in part because of the format, with it being released 8 panels at a time, so the audience has to be given something to be entertained by in every page. The thing is, I don't think that's true. I have seen plenty of webcomics where a situation is spread across multiple pages, and the audience doesn't instantly lose interest when one page is for setup purposes.

The consequence of this unserious tone is that the entire story is an emotional flatline. There's no moments that make you sad, no moments that make you happy, nothing that makes you scared or invested. Nothing feels like anything, because everything is a joke.

The season 2 finale of canon is actually really good, it feels like a real challenge with both sides giving it their all. In SL however, the same battle feels about as challenging as a stroll through the park.

I've seen a lot of comedies, and most of them still have a strong emotional core that isn't made into a joke at every turn. So arguing that SL is a comedy doesn't really help.

The problems with this unserious tone run deep, and you will see that as I explore the various characters.

Characters

I don't even like most of the characters in ML, but I could see the absolute downgrade they are in SL.

In general, I just wanted to say this: almost every character in this story is a sarcastic smartass. This makes them rather monotonous and uninteresting. Also very generic considering how common this archetype is these days.

Wait a second. Every serious moment is undermined by a joke, and all the characters are sarcastic smartasses. Was Zoe secretly an MCU writer this entire time?!

Chloé

I figure we should start with the titular Scarlet Lady. I actually think that the idea of a superhero duo where one of them is extremely lazy and unhelpful, but still necessary, is an extremely interesting idea for a dynamic. The problem is, there is no dynamic. Scarlet Lady and Chat Noir have no relationship, they just talk at each other constantly. And the result of this is that basically every interaction is the same: Scar does something selfish, Chat gets mad, rinse and repeat. It could have been interesting to explore different scenarios and ideas with these two, but no they just do the same thing over and over.

There is a pretty big plot hole here once Marigold is introduced. Why don't the heroes just take the Ladybug Miraculous back? It would be rather easy. Well, the explanation is that since Scar is still popular with the public, its best to keep her around for public cooperation and morale. Okay, I can accept that. Except, only a few episodes after this explanation we get "Zombizou", an episode where Scar straight up attacks Marinette in the middle of a battle, which causes Chat to get infected and them to very nearly lose. After that, there is no excuse anymore. Scar is clearly too dangerous to keep around, take her Miraculous now. But no, they actually don't even talk about what happened at all.

One particular episode where I have a problem with how Chloé is treated by the writer is "Silencer". In this episode, Chloé helps Bob Roth and XY with their plagiarism scheme. In canon, she had nothing to do with that. Now, yes, this is a different story and the writer can do whatever she wants. And this also gets Chloé more involved in the story. However, doing this just gives me a feeling that Zoe is blaming Chloé for something she didn't do. I don't know, it's just a vibe.

Anyway, throughout the story Chloé gets worse and worse until it culminates in her working with Hawk Moth and betraying everyone. And what are her consequences for this?

I mean, except for her father making her apologize (offscreen). So ultimately this plot feels like such a letdown. Chloé is the titular character that this fic's whole concept was started by, and yet it ends with her character just fading away with a whimper. What a letdown.

Marinette

This one will be quick. Zoe says that Marinette is her favorite character in ML, but I don't think she understands her at all. Remember what I said about every character being a sarcastic smartass? Well that is most prevalent with Marinette, and that is just fundamentally not who she is as a character. Marinette is someone whose is unabashed in her kindness and compassion. That's why plenty of people like her. If Marinette was in canon like she was in SL, she would be an extremely generic protagonist with almost no fans at all. The only reason anyone likes her in SL is because they relate her to the canon version.

I will say, I do like the idea of her being such a hero at heart that she'll run into danger even without powers. But this is completely diminished by her basically being invincible and having plot armor in her civilian form.

Adrien

Adrien in canon is one of my least favorite characters of all time. And yet, Adrien in SL is even worse. I'd go as far to say he's an anti-character. He has no growth, no arc, and no real personality.

The reason people like Adrien in canon is because they perceive him as someone who is treated very badly by his father and by others, but is still a kind person regardless. Well, in SL it's hard to perceive any poor treatment considering how he's only ever seen disobeying his father. And he's really never done anything kind throughout the entire comic.

Do you know the only reason people like Adrien in SL? Because they see him as who they wanted canon Adrien to become. Someone who can stand up to his father, who is useful in battle, and who doesn't put up with Chloé. But since SL Adrien was that way the entire time, there is no growth at all. Again he piggybacks off of his canon counterpart. If canon Adrien didn't exist, nobody would give a single crap about SL Adrien. None of the traits people liked about him in canon are present, and there is nothing new added to replace it. He is nothing.

Speaking of Adrien and Chloé, isn't it kind of weird that Adrien ended his friendship with her twice? In "Despair Bear" he ends his friendship with her and this is played as a big moment, even though he already basically ended their friendship all the way back in the pilot. There is not a single moment in the entire comic where Adrien treats Chloé like a friend.

As I mentioned earlier, Adrien has no emotional reaction to his mother coming back. In fact, I think it's fair to say that Adrien never loved his parents. And the reason for this is because Zoe hates his parents and she just imposed her feelings onto him, just like most bad fanfic writers do.

In terms of Adrien having no arc, there is one moment I wanted to talk about. During the final battle, he gets a power upgrade when he's talking about how he doesn't understand Hawk Moth's perspective, and he doesn't want to because Hawk Moth is so awful. This moment is played as if it's character growth for Adrien, but I want to ask, in what way? Well, I guess it does make sense because Adrien always gave his father the benefit of the doubt, stuck by Chloé even though she's cruel, and defended Lila. All those things could be considered him trying to understand a bad person. Too bad that none of that happened in SL. Adrien always hated his father, he ended his friendship with Chloé day 1, and he never defended Lila. Zoe was so focused on removing all of Adrien's flaws that she left him with no starting point for this supposed arc. In general, flawed characters are more interesting than perfect ones. Again, the only reason people liked this scene was because they subconsciously associated SL Adrien with canon.

Also, Zoé adds in her headcanon that Emilie was a bad parent. This headcanon only exists because people are incapable of imagining Adrien being anything other than a victim. I call it my "Perpetual Victim Theory". Anyway Zoé just makes up a bunch of random crap that has no basis in canon just to make Adrien more of a victim.

Gabriel

At first, "Scarlet Lady" looks like a Chloé saltfic. Well, that's only partially true. It's actually mainly a Gabriel saltfic. It honestly seems like Zoe hates Gabriel so much that she can barely think when he's involved. Gabriel is always portrayed as a complete moron with absolutely no humanity at all. He honestly seems more like a caricature in a political cartoon rather than an actual character. I actually find it hard to believe that his motivation is to bring back his wife considering how devoid of human emotion he is. Because the main villain of the series is a buffoon who can't be taken seriously, there is never any actual threat or tension. People criticize canon Gabriel for all his bad decisions, which is absolutely fair, but there are at least a few moments where he is genuinely menacing, and some moments where he is human. But writing him that way would require Zoe to let go of her hatred for a few minutes, so that's clearly not an option.

Nathalie

To put it simply Nathalie is a Mary Sue. She's a "girlboss" that does a bunch of horrible things she's not punished for. She can create a sentimonster to solve all the show's problems, she can decode an ancient book without a reference (Some people have defended this by claiming that the book was decoded IRL. IRL it was written in Engish in a different alphabet. That's not true in-universe). She's so much smarter and cooler than everyone else. Mary Sue, plain and simple. Oh, and she hates Gabriel because of course she does. She's a character written by Zoe after all.

In canon, Nathalie has some complexities. She's not great, but she's certainly better than this.

The Male Classmates

I'm just going to say it. Almost every male classmate was character assassinated in "Party Crasher". In canon, Nino lists his female friends to Gorilla and tells him to not let them in the mansion. This is because he assumes that if they find out that they ditched tree planting, they'll stop the boys from hanging out with Adrien. Is it a jerk move to ditch their plans in order to spend time with Adrien and not tell the girls? Yes, but it's understandable and they have limited time with Adrien. In SL, Nino tells Gorilla to keep all girls out of the house, which instantly imposes a sense of underlying misogyny to the situation. Oh, and they let Marc in even though Marc is nonbinary in this story, which implies that the boys went full Royce Du Pont, which is unintentionally hilarious.

I have no idea what motivated Zoe to change the boys from regular flakers to misogynists, maybe she just misunderstood the original episode, but it's still bad. Also, the SL episode goes out of its way to say that Adrien isn't at fault. No, he was completely complicit in the blatant sexism as well. So yeah, pretty much all the boys are instantly made worse by this one episode.

Zoé

In these previous cases, I have been making comparisons to and defending canon characters that I don't even like anymore. But Zoé Lee is my absolute favorite character in Miraculous Ladybug, and I was not happy with how SL handled her.

So a pretty important question right off the bat, how does SL Zoé exist? Zoe said that since canon didn't explain Zoé's existence, neither will she. But the thing is, what is there to explain? Chloé's parents have been married 20 years. Chloé's mother lives in New York, away from her family in Paris. Chloé's mother also has a daughter in New York with another man, much younger than 20-years-old. I don't think it takes a genius to figure out what happened there. But I'll spell it out anyway: extramarital affair. In fact, I think the whole reason the writers of canon made Zoé Chloé's half-sister was to hint why she hadn't been mentioned before: because Audrey was ashamed of her, and Chloé didn't know abut her.

On the other hand, "Scarlet Lady" never mentions Zoé's father, has her refer to Andre as her parent, says Zoé lived in New York, and never implies that Audrey is ashamed of her in any way. How does this make sense? Well, maybe Zoé is the older sibling in SL, and Audrey and Andre met and got married after Audrey was already pregnant, and Zoé's biological father isn't involved in her life. It still seems weird that Zoé was living in New York instead of Paris (why not live with her stepdad that she's close enough to call a parent, and how did they form such a strong relationship long distance?), but this does make most of the situation make sense. Except for one little detail: Why on Earth are Chloé and Zoé only now meeting for the first time? It makes absolutely no sense that their parents would not even tell these two about each other. How was Zoé so close to Andre to call him her parent, but didn't meet her sister until she was a teenager? None of this adds up. And honestly, it seems like after a certain period of time Zoe just straight up forgot that Zoé only arrived recently. In the therapy scenes, she acts like they were always one family. When canon gave Chloé a sister, they gave a reason why nobody knew about her until now. When SL gave Chloé a sister, she just suddenly has one who isn't explained and they act like she was always around. In fact, the only part where they acknowledge her showing up suddenly is when Adrien hasn't heard of her, but SL actually just implies that this is because he was never actually close with Chloé.

Putting all that aside, SL also sucks out everything interesting about Zoé. Gone is her cleverness or willingness to lie for the right reason. In fact, the defining characteristic that SL gives Zoé is that she has no personality. I've seen some people claim that SL had Chloé and Zoé having more of a sisterly bond, but I actually don't believe that Zoé actually loves Chloé. During the final battle, Hawk Moth has basically poisoned Chloé, and for all Zoé knows, it could be fatal. If I were in Zoé's shoes in this situation, I would be furious with Gabriel. But is she? No, she just has the same jokey, ironic disgust towards him that all the characters do. Yeah, this is one of the moments when the comic's insistence to turn everything into a joke hit critical mass. Doing that ends up damaging the characters.

One last thing. In canon, Zoé was pretty cool as Vesperia. She helped out a bunch of times, and she was one of the only heroes to demonstrate unique skills in how she taunted Queen Banana into anger. Not in SL though. Vesperia achieves nothing, she could have been cut out entirely and nothing would change. That actually transitions nicely into my next point.

Because Canon Did It Too

Zoe has said that she wants to keep the lore consistent with the show. Even though she didn't like the name "Venom" for that power, she kept it for consistency purposes. I can respect this idea, but there are multiple parts of this story that would have just been better if it diverged.

For one thing, having 19 Miraculouses and as many superpowered characters. I can understand why canon did this: because they clearly want the show to go on forever and they want as many characters as possible to fill that time. SL on the other hand was only planned to last a certain number of episodes, and yet Zoe crammed in as many heroes as the original did. This leads to a lot of time setting up these characters that leads to nothing, because they're all barely in the finale and contribute basically nothing. It would have been so much better to simply limit it to the 7 main Miraculouses, that's so much more manageable.

Another thing is the Rabbit Miraculous and time travel. Zoe acknowledged how OP it is and how it can instantly solve the conflict. She might not want to change its power because of her lore rule, but if she had just ignored its existence entirely, that would have been totally acceptable. But no, the final battle has Master Fu using the Rabbit Miraculous, which instantly makes the stakes even lower than they already were. It wasn't even necessary, Master Fu is shown to be faster than he looks, he could have just delivered the Miraculouses the normal way. Oh, and there's also the fact that Zoe looked at the insanely OP Rabbit Miraculous and said "That's not OP enough." She also gave it the power to teleport to other universes. To be clear, this completely contradicts canon. ML is not the MCU, alternate universes are not alternate timelines. Changes to the timeline just overwrite the old one, and you can use the Rooster Miraculous, not the Rabbit, to visit other universes. So yeah, despite Zoe saying she wants lore consistency, SL actually doesn't fit into the Miraculous multiverse that canon established.

Also, let's talk about the romance. Like canon, there's a love square that doesn't get together until way later. But it seems like Zoe forgot about an important rule of romance: if the characters aren't together yet, why not? In SL Marinette and Chat clearly like each other, and unlike canon's Ladrien, they talk quite a bit. So why don't they get together? Canon actually has a really great episode "Elation" where Adrien decides that he can't date a civilain as a superhero if she doesn't know his identity. But nothing even like this is remotely acknowledged in SL (Sidenote: The writing of "Elation" is better than the entirety of SL). Also, Adrien doesn't confess for most of SL, I assume because Marinette didn't confess in canon, but this is just so out of character for Adrien. He's not the kind of person to hold his feelings back. In canon, he confessed to Marinette only a few episodes after he started liking her. He claims that he doesn't want to date until Hawk Moth is defeated, but then he starts dating her before he's defeated, so this is a BS excuse.

When Chloé snaps away her sentimonster, Zoe copies the line "How could you?!" from "Ladybug" in canon. This is a completely soulless copy though, because that episode made it clear that Sentibug was sentient, and Chat Noir was genuinely angry in this moment. None of that same substance applies to SL, it's just a meaningless copy of a better scene.

In canon "Reflekdoll", Adrien and Marinette are modeling her designs, and they take their Miraculouses off in order to wear the earrings and ring she made. When Reflekdoll attacks, they try to get their Miraculouses back but end up switching them. In SL "Reflekdoll", Marinette and Adrien are wearing each other's Miraculouses during the photoshoot for no discernable reason. Both versions have a Miraculous swap, but the original earned it and SL absolutely did not.

Zoe and Thomas Astruc are on the Same Wavelength

Zoe has made it clear that she's not a fan of ML's creator, Thomas Astruc. And yet many of her ideas ended up being the same as his.

In both Canon and SL, Chloé publicly commits a bunch of serious crimes, but faces no legal consequences. Instead, she is taken to another country where she can resume her life as a rich brat because she's learned absolutely nothing. Yeah, Chloé's ending in both is basically the same.

In the season 5 finale of canon, there's this huge fight between the side characters and an evil army. This fight has absolutely nothing to do with the actual important fight between Bug Noire and Monarch, so the side characters are completely wasted. In the final battle of SL, the other superheroes contribute nothing and are completely wasted. Chat Noir basically took care of Hawk Moth all by himself. So both finales involve wasted side characters that should have just stayed home. Less time would have been wasted.

Zoe actually says that she added Marinette calling out Gabriel in response to the canon finale. This is absolutely hilarious considering it's still Marinette calling out Gabriel, which basically did happen in the canon finale. Adrien still just stood there and didn't say a word!

Conclusion

"Scarlet Lady" is absolutely worse than canon Miraculous Ladybug. And I think there are a lot of lessons to learn here.

First, don't be so angry and hateful. Zoe basically ruined any possibility of a decent ending simply because her hatred of Gabriel made it impossible to write him like an actual person or a good villain.

Second, any story written in bitterness or spite will be bad. That might not be totally true, I haven't read every story. But I feel that every fanfic I read where the author clearly hates a character has everyone behaving OOC and the story being meanspirited and bad.

Third, don't be arrogant. Just because you can recognize flaws in a story doesn't mean you can do better. Maybe just make some posts calling out those flaws.

Fourth, the way to fix a bad character is not to simply remove all their flaws. Acknowledge those flaws and do something with them.

Fifth, while fanfics do often build off of the original, they can't depend on elements from the original when they contradict those elements. Again, the only reason people like SL Marinette and Adrien is because they associate them with the originals, even though their personalities do no match up.

All in all, I think the world and characters of "Scarlet Lady" will be forgotten only a week after its over. There is no actual substance to them. The only purpose of this fic was to bash somebody else's story, and yet it ended up being so much worse than canon in almost every way.