#i unno man
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#Can't get reshade to work for some reason#Everything is wrong even when I change the depth input reversed to 1 instead of 0#I unno man#But I still think she's looking pretty so here's a super bland picture of her#FFXIV#Screenshots#Malika#Just 5 more levels of DNC to go!
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in other news, chapter nine of abcs fic is just about finished. finally. thank fuck.
not going to post it until i get some sleep because i need to review it to squeeze out any potential inconsistencies, but after that i am posting it and freeing myself from this hell chapter. it was extremely unfun to write and if it wasn't necessary i wouldn't have written it at all. but it's here now.
#abcs fic#a bell chimes somewhere fic#it left me feeling weirdly anxious and honestly kind of cranky.#chapter 10 i AM looking forward to tho.#idk why it sucked to write so much. maybe its just bc i feel weirdly unconfident in it.#i unno man#hopefully i'll either warm up to it or at least have more fun working on the rest.#ok goodnight.
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So like, steven
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Good morning (it is 7pm)
I have Bird Wife (ft dild)
This is Somneri. They're a Darkest dungeon oc.
I cannot enjoy things normally.
#think of Occultist but more sword based ig?#i unno man im tired and stressed and in pain#enjoy bird wife#darkest dungeon#darkest dungeon oc#doobles#also i forgot to flip the canvas but fuck it we ball
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yall think itd be a good idea for me to steal an alcoholic baja blast before i go to my moms next
im curious
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ive been like. weirdly emotional lately
#not in a good way#i just almsot started crying because i saw a man with his baby and thought about how i used to be a baby and my dad used to walk me around l#ike that#and yesterday i cried at six like 5 different times#and the good end song from bad end theater is enough to make me cry lately#ive also been feeling like.. kind of suicidal?#not in the way that i WANT to die but more that i want to be in hospital and i want people to think i'm going to die and give me the care an#d love that they would if i was dying#i just want attention. without having to ask for it or anything. just attention because i am loved#i want people to talk about me and post about me and love me and care about me#i want to be loved#i'm so tired#as for emotional stuff i nearly cried because i was worried about tiger the cat#id unno#im not doing eell
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latest secret i have discovered: u can just say hi to people
#thing about me is i will just walk into a place and do my own thing#idk how i was supposed to figure this one out when people do not do this idk man. like i got anxiety i unno what ur problem is#not to be like social anxiety? heheheh just talk idiot but the trade off is noticeably less awkwardness for minimal investment#i cannot keep going like this all like 'why it gotta be me to do it fucking losers' whatever fine ill be a corny ass#secure knowing my contribution is a more friendly vibe
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Twinsomnia as the Christmas ghosts
Kid ghost of Christmas past
Girl ghost of Christmas present
Boy ghost of Christmas yet to come
I need to get some scatter brushes on my puter... I can't even do all my snowy sparkly nonsense that I love so much! Nevertheless, here they are.
#twinsomnia#a christmas carol#ghost of christmas past#ghost of christmas present#ghost of christmas yet to come#i 'unno man#i tried to be as accurate to the ghosts' book descriptions as i could while balancing it with these fellers and i think it looks alright#this is honestly a pretty unconventional assignment! i'd assume girl boy and kid would be past present and yet to come respectively#but this is interesting! anyway the ask is in the image because i had. no clue what to use to fill in the space sorry
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not to be #cynical #pessimistic but it does suck being an artist who gets incredibly long stretches of art block & demotivation because it means that i basically unlearn so much of what i know during those empty gaps & do not see any (or atleast limited) improvement in my art across years and years
#i 'unno man looking at my art from 3 years ago and i still like it so much i think its great but also. i couldnt create something better now#in fact in many ways my artistic abilities have decreased#anyway. this is OK to reblog 👍 i am OK 👍 not looking for advice 👍#cottons thoughts
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everytime i've fully considered the possibility that i might be a system and i just have some guys running around driving this thang i go "no i just have memory problems" and toss it away. well gentlemen. guess what possibility i'm considering again
#this possibility was presented to me.. what.. 2 or 3 years ago?? i was like 14 and posted on here ''haha yeah i imagine guys in my brain''#and someone sent an ask like ''you might be a system!!'' and thats haunted me ever since. so#i might genuinely have DID because last i checked i matched literally every single symptom on the google search. but i unno!!!#i consider the possibility of a lot of things!! secretly an alien in a human boy's body?? maybe!!!!! bunny rabbit in another life??#who knows man!!!!!! bpd ocd autism did lactose intolerance.#there's a ball ricocheting around my skull and it's certainly not the slimey wrinkly pink piece of shit called the brain#man. i just dont know.#i know i certainly act different at times with my personality but thats like. the relatable ''personality a and b with group a and b'' shit#and everytime i have a christine canigula pfp my whole personality changes. unrelated#anyways. lol. britney spears is so fucking good#if any systems following me have any like. advice for me or recognize this please let me know. please#actualyl im putting it in the tags help me please#system stuff#sysblr#?#system help#someone please. please.
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i know we aint fam like we used to be but im glad you guys still send me asks despite me being virtually dead on this account :)
#snap chats#'birtually dead' being i dont post og stuff anymore#i think thats beautiful man... im glad we can still talk bout db and even stuff not bout db#i really do like chattin with yall sometimes so thanks for stickin with me :)#i unno sentiment ive had for a while and figured id share it just cause
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Whats your opinion on marks man *autism eyes*
the other funny texan man
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Nylon my baby <3333
#nick’s knacks#ummm my baby <33 uh yeah#that is all#she deserves the world <333333#i unno what the snake’s name should beeee#man.#NylonRat
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Guns, probably. Lots and lots of guns.
Regardless of your gender or sexuality, reblog this and tag your most hetero male trait. Mine is either obsessing over my Altima or sitting around watching TV shows about air disasters.
#for being a straight guy it's mildly concerning that “guns” is my most manly man trait.#i mean#i suppose I'm very protective of friends too????#but really besides that there isn't much.#an overt wish to prove my strength?#a want to be taken seriously?#i 'unno.#i feel like after that it just kinda gets to me just being small and wanting to prove myself
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still putting things together over here n thinking of how to make stuff look nice but 👍 future fic updates will probably go here, Themes And Motifs posting, n ill reblog backlog things too
anyway i have started on chapter 6 it's going so far 👍 unfortunately i am ill (sick) and not going to make it (many reason) so im some kind of emotion perhaps
#when you get a preview of a thing and it live rent free in your head forever..................... what a Fuck...............................#like man. man. im going insane crazy nutso style. im not gonna make it im gonna Died#like. someone liking my work enough to Doodles for it? 😭#someone liking my work enough to attempt a [REDACTED] for it Even If they dont finish? 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#like what the fuck man..... i was just out here vibing 😭 ive never had a real Response like this other than from people i already knew.....#but i guess ive never really had a real Big Project that was worth anyone's investment either? or at least one that got anywhere#its just...... waug................#n its. oug. idk im like really kinda out of it from Sick still but it just means a lot 😭 but idk how to say directly#<- the social anxieterrrrrrr + dont wanna assume + dont wanna overstep#dogs leading dogs#dld posting#i still have to establish a tagging scheme for this blog too. i think the standard DLD tag is gonna be for Everything related#and then dld posting for text posts. maybe dld update for new fics etc.? unno i havent gotten that far yet. i just want to organize things#i keep watching it n thinking of the things i have Seen............ oug................
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