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fannishstuff · 4 months

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How would Ford get kicked out instead of Stan?

So, a bit ago, @ckret2 posted an essay expressing frustration about the fandom portrayal of Filbrick. Filbrick is often characterized as violently and irredeemably abusive, whereas ckret2 cites some very convincing evidence that he was a well-meaning but authoritarian father - not a good dad, but not an evil person.

This discussion was prompted because ckret2 was considering an AU in which Ford never goes to college and ckret2 prefers the smallest possible change in AUs.

I wanted to link those posts because they have absolutely gotten me thinking about the subject. The following will make more sense if you've read that essay and this follow-up about Filbrick's regret over Stan's behavior. I accept the contents as canon for the purposes of this post.

(For completion's sake, the entire discussion was prompted by a Ford as a Trucker AU, but the following doesn't actually have anything to do with that.)

Let's make Ford the kind of person Filbrick would kick out of the house

Stan's eviction is the end result of many, many years of contention between Stan and Filbrick - an earnest last-ditch effort by a desperate father to get his delinquent son to shape up, and a decision he only made because he thought Stan was legitimately malicious. Most AUs in which Ford is kicked out instead of Stan will just rewrite the Science Fair scene so that Stan has more to lose than Ford. If we're talking "smallest possible change," though, I don't find that convincing. If Filbrick was an unpredictable maniac who's ready to ditch his kids at a moments notice? Yeah, fine, any small mistake by either one of them would work. But if Filbrick has been earnestly trying to be a good father, and just didn't feel like he was getting through? One mistake, even a big one, from his less troublesome son would be unlikely to prompt a disowning.

So, my question is: what "single small change" early in life would lead Stan and Ford to develop in a way that flipped Filbrick's expectations of them?

Personality traits and how they affect the relationships

Let's talk about Filbrick, Stanley, and Ford.

So, first of all: Filbrick wants is sons to be industrious, tough, honest, and hard-working. Those are the qualities that matter to him. He makes them box so that they'll be able to stand up for themselves and others. He fights with Stanley because Stanley is a thieving scam artist. He demands the kids be profitable and successful because that is a mark of success as an adult for him. If we assume that the twins were an unplanned pregnancy, then he also firmly believes in taking responsibility for your mistakes -- in owning up.

Stanley is a born liar. Like, even his playful and friendly interactions with his family involved good-natured lies. (He reminds me of one of my uncles, who was an avid prankster up until the time he went up against me, but that's a whole story that I won't get into here.) I think in order to be on Filbrick's good side, he'd have to prove that he was honest in his own way - for example, by defending people when it really mattered even at the expense of his own reputation, or by refusing to take advantage of someone who has wronged him. I don't think canon Stan would do either of those things for anyone except family, but canon Stan is also convinced that nothing he does will ever be good enough. His last, dying words were "I guess I was good for something." He never until that moment thought he was. We need to make sure that he earns some self-respect earlier in life.

Now we need to find a flaw in Ford to exacerbate to the scale Stan had in canon. This isn't really hard, honestly. Ford may have been the less troublesome kid in high school, but he is ruthlessly ambitious, and as an adult he will steal or destroy anything to get the results he wants. I think that the reason he was the less troublesome kid is because there really isn't a good way that a high schooler can be ambitious at the expense of the people around them on a scale that matters. The stakes are just too low. Maybe Ford put down his classmates to secure a win in a spelling bee or stole an answer key once or twice, but it's hard to imagine Filbrick caring about schoolkid drama. That said, if Ford did have an aspiration - a science project, for instance - that he became truly obsessed with, it's easy to imagine him stealing or breaking things to achieve it.

So, how would we make stealing and destroying things a pattern of behavior for Ford, instead of a single one-off mistake? And how would we make Stanley's good-heartedness and self-sacrificing nature something that is visible to his father and overwhelms his tendency to lie?

Oh, and one more thing:

The big fight didn't just happen because Ford lost something he wanted. The entire Tale of Two Stans is about two twins who are very close to each other when they're young drifting apart over time as their needs, ambitions, and hobbies begin to diverge.

How do we make this separation happen in a way that flips the script?

Ford as a more isolated kid

Ford has a one-track mind.

In order to make this alternate canon work, I want to isolate Stan and Ford from each other very quickly. Filbrick might not be violently abusive, but he does ignore the kids, and Ford is already isolated from his peers due to bullying and poor social skills. If Stan isn't spending all of his time with Ford, then Ford might become more and more withdrawn. I don't think he would even be unhappy! Maybe a little lonely, but he's a bright kid with varied interests, and he'd keep himself occupied. But he might get a little... unhinged.

My Ford sans Stan is a kid that gets into trouble. A lot of trouble. Way more trouble than parents should have to deal with.

He gets arrested for disassembling abandoned cars. He gets detention for melting things in the chemistry lab. He gets stitches and tetanus shots after climbing under bridges, or ends up in the burn ward because he stuck a fork in an outlet. (I knew multiple academically gifted children who did this, what is wrong with you guys.) He might make a weapon like a nail gun because he thinks it's cool, and while that wouldn't cause as many alarm bells in 1980 as in 2020, it gould get someone seriously hurt. And, moreover, no matter how many times he's yelled at or bailed out or suspended or has his privileges revoked, he just doesn't get it. He'll express genuine remorse every time, but Filbrick will stop believing him after a while because he never changes. He never changes because... well. Because he is incorrect about what's wrong.

This version of Ford is isolated from his peers and doesn't have his brother to entertain him, so he's extremely self-centered. He doesn't think about the consequences of his actions and he doesn't think about how they might affect others. Let's say he snuck into the chemistry lab after hours, did an experiment without adult supervision, and ended up catching a shelf on fire. When he is punished, he's contrite and apologetic. He earnest in his expression of grief. He feels horrible. You'll tell him what he did wrong, and he will say, "I know," and accept his punishment without complaint. But, if you were to actually ask him what he did wrong, the answer will be:

"I used the wrong solvent." Or, at best: "I wasn't careful enough."

Nothing about disrespect for property. Nothing about breaking the rules. Nothing that reflects the fact that he is a child using someone else's resources to try a dangerous experiment without permission or supervision.

I don't think the adults around him, least of all Filbrick, would notice the communication error. Filbrick isn't in the habit of asking young boys about their feelings. Even if they did notice it, I don't think they would handle it well; this is before modern mental health science, and it might actively frighten the adults around him to realize that he doesn't understand morality in the way the kids around him do.

I think that if we start with this version of Ford, it would be very, very easy for him to screw up so badly that Filbrick felt the need to kick him out.

Some ways we can reduce Stan's influence

Option One: Stan might actually be worse off.

Usually, these reverse AUs are about Stan being the golden child and Ford being the one who Filbrick has it out for. However, that doesn't necessarily have to happen in order for Ford to be the one who gets kicked out. If Stan gets caught (or framed) for a crime big enough to send him to juvie for a while, or for Filbrick to send him off to a reform school, Ford would be left alone for years - long enough for Ford to develop the habits I just described.

This AU would fit really well with the themes of canon, too. The show is about how, even though family has its ups and downs, we're better together than we are apart. If Stan is separated from Ford against his will, and the rest of the Pines live to regret it, we address that theme head-on.

In an AU where Stan goes to boarding school, juvie, or something like that, I personally think Stan would still love Ford dearly and do his best to support him. Ford would do his best to make his own way in the world after his falling out with his father, and Stan meets up with him whenever he can. They have their own lives but remain friends.

Option Two: The ever-so-beloved Sports Stan option! If Stan ends up in a successful hobby, it might keep him out of trouble enough to curb his more dishonest tendencies. If that's the case, Ford's isolation comes from Stan having more friends (teammates!), more extracurricular responsibilities, and possibly the kind of social life that keeps him busy during school hours. I figure that in this version, Stan might stand up for Ford getting bullied, and he would be listened to, because you don't fuck with the football team. That would leave Ford with neither friends nor enemies. Ford might hang out with the sports kids for a while, but it would be really awkward, since he's just Stan's brother and doesn't have much in common with these guys.

This version leaves Stan slightly less delinquent but otherwise the same as his canon counterpart. Sports keep him out of trouble, might get him a scholarship, but otherwise leave him pretty much intact.

My problem with both of these two options is that I feel like, for maximum effect, we need to isolate Ford in middle school or earlier - I think fifth grade would do it. Sports don't really get that serious until late middle school or high school, and it's hard for a ten-year-old to get in enough trouble to get sent away.

The sooner the twins begin to separate, the better for this narrative.

Option three: Boy Scouts (or something). In this version, Stanley doesn't just have a hobby he likes - he has a hobby that becomes a lifestyle. He joins a club or meets a mentor that has a profound impact on him as a person. This, I think, would be the biggest possible impact with the smallest possible change.

I'm going to use Boy Scouts as my example, even though I can't really imagine Stan joining a troop without Ford. Just know that this is a placeholder, and it could be anything: he might find a car repair shop with a kindly and avuncular war veteran mechanic, he might fall in with a volunteer group, et cetera. If we go with the boy scouts, though, here's what happens:

Stan is bored and frustrated and has too much energy as a prepubescent or barely pubescent kid. He ends up hanging out with some boy scouts, and they do things that he thinks are really cool. They're the first kids he meets who like boats as much as him, and they know all the rigging knots. Maybe one of them tells him all about how to take care of lizards, and that other kid knows how to light a fire using a flint.

He convinces his parents to let him join the troop. At first, he doesn't fit in at all. All of the other kids have been doing this since first grade, and he's bad at making friends. However, one of the troopmasters becomes a mentor to him: this man intentionally gives him attention, spends time with him, asks him about his interests, teaches him skills that he's missing, et cetera.

If you've ever been or known a young kid who didn't get enough attention and then, suddenly, met someone who made them feel included, you know what happens.

Stan would sell his soul for this guy.

Stan memorizes his handbook, he attends all the functions, he mentors the cubs, the whole shebang. I think Stan would have a blast, too. Boyscouts make up bullshit to tell the little kids constantly. They play pranks on each other and the troopmasters. They haze the new kids. The develop complex internal mythologies for their troops. They get up to all manner of ridiculous shenanigans, oftentimes with the help of knives, ropes and fire. Stan would love it.

By high school, he's working hard toward his Eagle Scout badge, and that means he isn't just attending troop functions. For those who have never been scouts, the whole program is supposed to be about leadership training. The Eagle Scout status is one you earn by doing a project of your own - usually some small but tangible improvement to your hometown, such as building some benches or making an improvement to a museum. So, in the Sports Stan version of events, Stan is busy because of regularly scheduled team sports; in the Scouts Stan version, he's spending a huge chunk of his own free time planning, fundraising for, and building his project.

But there's another thing at play here.

Boy Scouts have a strict code of honor. If Stan was a gung-ho boy scout, he would probably become exactly the kind of person Filbrick wants him to be.

And, well,

I think he'd also become judgemental as hell.

Yeah, he still loves his brother, but here Stan is living his best life and being a good citizen who contributes to society, while Ford's out there... drawing pictures of ghost he insists he saw? Reading about mermaids? Catching the chemistry lab on fire?

Like, seriously bro, you need to get a real hobby.

You know how by the end of high school, Ford was treating Stan as an immature and ignorant kid with no real aspirations who wasn't going to amount to anything in life? You know how Ford was so sickened by Stan's relative lack of ambition that he really believed that Stan would deliberately sabotage his science fair experiment just for a chance to hang out more?

Yeah.

Now imagine that reversed.

#I need to proofread this #Gravity Falls AU #Meta Analysis #Gravity falls #Stanley Pines #Filbrick Pines #Stanford Pines #Fan essay #AU discussion #Boy Scout Stanley Pines #My post

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janeykath318 · 11 months

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Ring In The Sand (Steve Rogers x Single Mom! Reader)

It was your first vacation in ten years and you were feeling incredibly happy you’d finally taken the leap and splurged on a beach trip. The weather was perfect, the waves were gentle, and your daughter was having the time of her short life relishing her first time at the seashore. Being a single mom, It had taken a while to save up for the trip, but it was completely worth it. You had a cozy little beach cottage all to yourself, and got to spend quality time with Jordan.

The two of you laughed and splashed around like playful sea otters, and were in the midst of reenacting the little mermaid when you looked down and saw your wedding ring was gone from your finger.

“What’s wrong, mommy?” Jordan asked. “Is Ursula coming to take your voice?”

“No, honey. My ring’s gone. I think it slipped off in the water.”

“Oh, no! I’ll help you find it,” Jordan offered. Several minutes of hunting later, panic had started to set in and you realized there was a good chance it was gone for good.

“It’s okay, mommy. I’ll get the nice lifeguard man to help. He’s probably a really good finder. I can’t hold my breath long enough.”

She wrinkled her nose in annoyance at herself and couldn’t help but smile.

“It’s okay, sweetie, neither can I,” you admitted sadly. “I hate to bother him, but I think we have to. Since he’s in view, I’ll stand here and mark the spot while you go get him, okay?”

“Okay. Be right back.”

And Jordan zoomed away, quickly returning with her favorite lifeguard. The man was not the typical bored teenager trying to survive a summer job, but a rather shaggy haired man with a ready smile and a kind heart, who always waved when he saw them and had listened patiently to Jordan’s enthusiastic descriptions of her imaginary merpeople friends.

You rubbed your finger absently, eying the sandy shallow intently in hopes of spotting a flash of gold. Eric had been gone for nearly ten years, but you’d kept wearing the ring, fearing that taking it off would destroy the memories. It wasn’t logical, but grief never was.

Jordan and the lifeguard arrived at your side in mere minutes.

“Are you alright ma’am?” The lifeguard asked, giving you a quick look over to satisfy himself you weren’t in physical distress.

You couldn’t help but notice how well built he was compared to the other lifeguards, but it was hard to get a read on him with the large sunglasses and scruffy hair and beard. It was a good look, though.

“Yes, but I’ve lost my wedding ring and I’ve trouble spotting it. It’s a simple yellow gold band and has 6-23-12 etched in it,” you replied, breathlessly.

“Your wedding date?”

“Yes.”

“I’ll do my very best to find it,” Lifeguard promised solemnly. He disappeared under the water and you and Jordan watched as he scoured the waist deep water carefully. You were starting to get worried about how long he’d been down there when a shaggy brown head reappeared and then an arm, triumphantly holding up a gold ring.

“Is this it?” he asked, barely even short of breath. Dang it, the man was FIT.

“Yes!” you exclaimed, after checking the inside. “Oh my gosh! Thank you so much! My husband’s been gone for ten years and I just couldn’t stand the thought of letting go of it like this. I’d much prefer it to be on my own terms.”

“Understood,” your hero replied quietly. “If there’s anything else I can do, don’t hesitate to ask. I’ll be on watch until 7 pm.”

“Thank you so much,” you said gratefully. “I can’t tell you how much this means to me.”

“I’m glad I could find it.”

A pair of very pretty blue eyes looked earnestly into yours and you felt a strange stirring inside a part of your soul that had been dormant for a long time.

You stared after him as he returned to his post, unfazed by the water dripping off of him.

“Mommy, is he a merman?” Jordan queried.

“I don’t know, honey. Maybe we’ll see him tomorrow and you can ask him.”

“I hope so,” she sighed. “I don’t even know his name.”

The following day was cloudier, and you and Jordan designated it official sandcastle day, bringing with you various plastic containers for creating sandy masterpieces. Jordan wanted to make a mermaid castle and scoured the beach for shells to decorate it with. When she had succeeded in creating her ideal castle, there was much celebration and picture taking.

“Wow! That’s an amazing sandcastle!” a voice broke in. Jordan’s eyes lit up at the sound of her favorite lifeguard and she proudly showed off all of its details.

“I’m so glad you came, Mr. Lifeguard. I need to know if you’re a merman or not.”

Amazingly, the man treated her question seriously and stopped down to Jordan’s level.

“No, but I have learned some tricks from the mermaids that make it easier for me to help swimmers in trouble,” he informed her. “Including your mom’s lost ring situation.”

“Um, about that,” you broke in, “I would like to repay you a bit. Perhaps treat you to ice cream after your shift?”

“That’s not necessary, but I never turn down ice cream,” he chuckled. “I’m Steve, by the way.”

“Nice to meet you Steve,” you answered, shaking his hand, wondering again if you’d seen that nose before. Something about it looked familiar.

“I’m Y/N and this is Jordan.”

“Nice to meet you, Jordan,” Steve said, turning to your daughter. “Nice work. You have the makings of quite the architect.”

“Thank you, Mr. Steve,” Jordan replied happily.

“So, meet you at the ice cream stand at seven-ish?” You asked hopefully.

“Sounds good,” Steve answered. “See you then.”

Again, there came a little thrill of anticipation.

Steve was as good as his word and met you and Jordan at the ice cream stand. He’d put on a dark blue button up shirt and was chatting easily with the kid working the stand.

You were a little flabbergasted at how delighted he looked to see you and normally such attention from a man would have had you putting all your guards up, but your gut was telling you this man was the genuine article.

As the cones were being enjoyed, you ventured to ask him about himself and what had brought him here.

“I left a very high profile job because it was slowly killing me mentally,” he admitted. “I needed a break and a career change. This way, I can still help people without getting tangled up in bureaucracy and conflicts.”

“Law enforcement?” you guessed.

“Something like that,” he hedged.

Hmmmm. Super classified.

“What about you?” Steve asked.

“Well, my husband and I lived in D.C. because he had a job at a now defunct government agency. I was pregnant with Jordan when he was killed during the Uprising of 2014. Afterwards, I moved out of the city and focused on raising her. She’s my whole world and I’m doing the best I can to give her lots of good memories with me, since she doesn’t have any of her father.”

Steve had gone very still and there was a look of deep sadness on his face as you spoke. His eyes grew distant and he was very quiet for a moment.

“Were you there too?” you ventured.

“Yeah,” he told her, turning his serious gaze back to you. “I was there.” The distant look grew more poignant.

Luckily for this conversation, Jordan was occupied with her ice cream, eating as slowly and deliberately as possible. You smiled at her before returning your attention to Steve.

“Eric was having suspicions something was very amiss, but they covered their tracks so well, he couldn’t get the evidence and he certainly couldn’t tell his superiors, who all turned out to be Hydra. When things came to a head, they tried to force him to help with the launch, he refused, Pierce had him killed.”

Steve closed his eyes as again that look of sorrow came over him.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. We lost too many good people that day. Sounds like your Husband was a great agent. If it hadn’t been for people like him taking a stand, they might have succeeded.”

“He was a great agent and an even better husband,” you confirmed. “But I’m curious, what department were you in? You said you had a high profile job.”

“I was……consulting with them.” Steve’s face colored a bit as he spoke, and you wondered why he was so shy about it, then it hit you where you recognized his profile from.

“Oh. That Steve,” you said, eyes widening at the realization that Lifeguard Steve was actually Steve Rogers.

“Yep. Hope that isn’t a problem.”

Steve looked very wary and you couldn’t blame him. Some people still talked about him like he was a criminal because he hadn’t signed the Accords (which were garbage), and a lot of other people hero-worshipped him to an extreme extent.

“No. No it’s not. You’re just trying to make a new life for yourself and get some privacy,” you assured him. “I promise I won’t go blabbing your secret. You’ve been so kind to us. I’m only annoyed that it took me so long to recognize those cheekbones. Very distinctive.”

Steve chuckled and visibly relaxed.

“It means my semi-disguise is working, then. After Thanos, I wasn’t in a good place mentally and I knew I was ready to be done with the shield. So I gave it to Sam and went off the grid for a while. I don’t miss the fighting, but I did miss helping people, so I took the necessary training for lifeguarding. It’s worked out pretty well.”

“And it sounds like you’re pretty good at it,” you told him playfully. “But now I know why you were able to stay under so long when you were finding my ring. I was beginning to think I’d have to rescue the rescuer.”

Steve laughed. “Yes, the serum does have its benefits. Before I had it, I could never have attempted such a thing.”

“So I’ve read,” you admitted. “But it looks like they picked the right guy to get it.”

Jordan had finished her ice cream and was looking very antsy.

“Can I show Mr. Steve my seashell collection? Please?” she implored, turning her puppy dog eyes on you to full effect. They were very similar to her father’s and like his, they were very hard to say no to.

“Well, if he’s not tired of us by now or doesn’t have anywhere else he needs to be, I don’t see why not,” you told her. Immediately Jordan moved her puppy plea look to Steve, who immediately caved.

“I’m absolutely not tired of you and I don’t have any set schedule anymore, thank goodness.”

You shot him a knowing look at the deep relief in his tone. Steve had lived through a lot of stuff you couldn’t—and wouldn’t—want to imagine. Despite all that, he hadn’t lost that good character and heart that had impressed Erskine all those years ago.

You strolled down the sand towards your cottage, enjoying the beautiful sunset and trying not to steal too many glances at the man walking beside you. It was a shame you were only here for another three days. Getting to know the man who’d helped save half the universe was surprisingly appealing.

Jordan chattered to Steve happily about her favorite superheroes. She’d taken the news about his identity in stride and it only increased his status as her favorite lifeguard. It was very bittersweet watching them, and knowing you probably wouldn’t see Steve again after this week. The last thing you wanted was for her to get too attached and then be hurt…..

Jordan’s excited squeal broke you out of your reverie and you saw her glomp Steve in a hug.

“Don’t ambush the man, honey!” you admonished her, glad to see Steve smiling as he accepted her exuberant hug.

“Sorry, Mr. Steve,” she sheepishly apologized. “I got really excited.”

“It’s okay,” Steve chuckled. “I was a kid once.”

“We were talking about the Avengers and I told him Hawkeye is my favorite and he told me he could get me Hawkeye’s autograph!”

She did a little gleeful dance.

“I think you’ve just made her entire year,” you told Steve as you approached the cottage’s back door. “Would you like to come in? This could take awhile. Her collection is quite extensive.”

“I’d love to,” Steve replied cheerily, fixing his attention on you.

After he’d examined Jordan’s collection and given it the proper compliments, you had the dreaded task of giving the bedtime announcement to her. Surprisingly, she didn’t put up a fuss for once and bid you and Steve goodnight easily.

“I wish it was always that easy,” you remarked ruefully.

Steve laughed, and again your insides did a funny little lurch.

“Thanks so much for today, Y/N” he told you as you let him out the door. “If I don’t see you again before you leave, where should I send the autographed Hawkeye picture for Jordan?”

“Oh, yeah, I almost forgot! BRB!” you called, running back in to scribble it down. Perhaps you were being reckless, giving out your address to a guy you’d just met, but this was Steve Rogers! Plus, the joy on Jordan’s face was fully imprinted in your brain. It was worth a little risk.

“Here you go,” you said, handing it over a little shyly. “I’ll make sure she writes a proper thank you note in return.”

“She’s quite a delightful young woman,” Steve observed. “Apple didn’t fall far from the tree.”

He gave you an admiring, but respectful look that you knew you’d be thinking about for a long time afterward.

“Good night, Y/N.” He finally said softly.

“Good night, Steve.”

#steve rogers #reader insert #steve x reader #steve rogers x reader #single mom

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overobsessedfanboy23 · 9 months

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Episode 90 of Go Rush is the most painful Yugioh episode to me

This episode has put me in a state of grief and shock, similar to what I felt after my cat died, for days, to the point where I'm still recovering from the after effects as I write this. I'm gonna do my best to judge this episode fairly, and critique it for what it is, not what I may have personally wanted it to be. To be clear, I think this is a good episode. Maybe even a great one. I do have some genuine critiques (mainly with the dialogue so I admit it could partially be a language/culture barrier issue) but overall, it is a well put together episode and duelling wise especially, a fantastic arc finale to my favourite story arc of season 2. It just... came out Christmas Eve, a hard time of the year for me for personal reasons, and did something that was always going to destroy me personally. But, anyways, enough beating around the bush. I have a ton of thoughts on this episode that I really need to put in one place.

Spoilers below of course.

Like I said, the duelling action in this episode is amazing, one of my personal favourite duels in Bridge Era Yugioh. Honestly maybe someday when GR is fully released, I will declare it my favourite. I need more time with it to know for sure. Kuaidul is so at the top of his game with his perfected deck that Yudias had to steal Kuaidul's ultimate monster in order to fight back at all and even then, Kauidul was still able to defend himself and potentially make a comeback. He's a skilled duelist and a great villain and that's on full display this episode.

The only problem I have with this episode's first half is the opening theme playing over part of an episode once again. They did this at the end of Galaxy Cup and it felt ill-fitting there too but this episode felt even more forced as that song being played during a "triumphant victory" right before the turn this episode took was really distracting. The tonal whiplash honestly kind of disgusted me. The song is great, but you don't have to play it in the middle of the episode just because it's an arc finale, guys. If it doesn't fit, then it doesn't fit. Don't force it.

Other than that blunder though, the first half or so of this episode is high quality standard fun so had I not known better and seen the clips and screenshots before watching the entire thing subbed, I never would've expected the episode to go full on depressing. Yeah, Kuaidul was mentioned to be dying in the previous episode but Yugioh hardly ever permanently kills characters and every other Go Rush villain was allowed to live.

Surely, I don't need to lose sleep over this. Surely they won't kill him on Christmas Eve when he's only existed as a character for like four months and has so much more to give us. Surely Kuaidul will be okay-

.....oh

....Yeah, for me, I don't think there's a worse feeling than anxiously dreading something will happen but trying to insist it won't happen and you're just having anxiety only to have your anxiety proven right... This was the perfect storm of despair to completely destroy me and me personally since Kuaidul is a personal comfort character, saved the second season for me after it went to shit, and my favourite in Go Rush so understand that that is what my bias is when discussing this episode.

I've already made a whole post defending the scene where Kuaidul forcefully tries to fuse with Yudias. To sum it up, it was a life or death situation and Kuaidul was acting out of fear/self-preservation, Yudias was willing (though yes he did leave this unvoiced at first), and Kuaidul did let go of the fusion and accept his impending death because the fusion would, to some degree, hurt Yudias. I wish the reason and extent to how much it would hurt Yudias was more clearly explained. Maybe some line about how Kuaidul's decaying form (or the thing that gave his body form) will start to make Yudias decay as well would've helped because personally, I found the explanation the episde gave to be vague and confusing. Yugioh has confusing logic at times but I've never questioned the logic behind sacrifices like these. Antinomy and Ai's motivations and reasons for sacrificing themselves both made sense and I never questioned why they did what they did. Kuaidul meanwhile, I don't fully understand why he HAD to die. The fusion would've hurt Yudias, yes, but how drastically? Would it have eventually killed him or just hurt a lot? What would this "fusion" even have entailed? This episode vaguely implied Kuaidul was straight up trying to possess him but it never quite fully said that? For all we know, he would've ended up a harmless spirit vibing in Yudias's subconscious like Yubel or Astral were because fusions like this are just not explained in Go Rush's universe. Yeah, yeah, "show don't tell" but the visuals didn't give a concrete answer either, at least not to me. It felt weirdly vague and confusing.

Also, side note, I won't dwell on this too much because someone has already posted about it but this:

This is messed up in a way that I don't think Go Rush, which is aimed at a younger audience, is equipped to handle and should not be Yudias's reasoning. "If it will save you from death" was enough of a reason. That captures Yudias's astonishing compassion and selflessness perfectly and is far more subtle and emotionally resonant. I hate the implications of this line and it genuinely made me extremely uncomfortable when I saw it.

Anyways, the sacrifice. Despite all the under explaining, I obviously still felt the weight of Kuaidul's sacrifice and emotionally, I understand it even I find myself questioning the semantics more than I normally would with scenes like these. I do think if we knew the extent to how much Kuaidul was willing to hurt Yudias in his moment of impulsive fear, then him deciding not to go through with it would have added even more to his character. Still, I think the fact that he was willing to let go and accept his death makes him a better character. I think that was the only way that forced fusion scene could have been salvaged. Because, yes, if the episode had ended with Kuaidul forcing Yudias to fuse, sticking with it, and essentially getting away with it, this episode would be worse. I... would probably still like Kuaidul but I would definitely feel uncomfortable to some degree. However, I personally am able to fully forgive him because I understand that it was an act of impulse by a dying man that, after thinking about, he did decide on his own not to go through with. The scene played out perfectly for what they were going for. They went a direction I wasn't expecting but the direction made sense (despite being under-explained to me) and was emotionally effective.

Speaking of emotionally effective...

Okay, I won't lie. The first time I saw this scene (purely through screenshots), I was actually pissed. It immediately brought to mind Akiza being forced to forgive her abusive father and I felt like they were not just pulling that crap again but having it be the final note an immensely important comfort character of mine went out on.

....but I was already a crying mess when I saw this and now that I've regained somewhat of a clear mind and seen the full episode, my opinion has changed completely. The Creator is NOT on the same level of Akiza's father, not in the slightest. I still firmly view him and Kuaidul as a father/son relationship since the Creator... ya know, literally created him and Kuaidul craving his validation very much came across to me as a neglected child craving their parent's attention/approval. That's not explicitly spelled out by the show but keep in mind this is how I view it. From what we saw, Kuaidul had valid reasons to feel neglected, most notably episode 77 where the Creator left Kuaidul behind despite his cries. However, upon actually seeing the hug scene in motion, I realised that Kuaidul wasn't the one who initiated the hug. The Creator was:

And to me, that makes all the difference. He's offering a hug, a symbol of forgiveness and acceptance, which Kuaidul accepted instantly, with no pressure from anyone which was my main problem with Akiza's situation, because validation from the Creator was all he really wanted this whole time. That's actually quite cohesive and I'm glad Kuaidul's motivation wasn't forgotten or changed. Do I still think Kuaidul deserved more? Oh, absolutely. The Creator should've apologised verbally in some way. Maybe Kuaidul didn't need him to but I the viewer did dammit. At least if this is both their final appearances and isn't leading into something down the line (the Creator could just use him again, or it could be revealed to be a hallucination fuck-). Whatever, this hug was enough for Kuaidul and at the time of writing this, the scene is their final scene in the show and if this is truly where it ends for them, then I'm glad that despite dying, Kuaidul got exactly what he truly wanted all along.

I could nitpick it and the entire show's implications about the Creator into oblivion if I really wanted to but... I don't. My favourite character had a cohesive sympathetic narrative with a payoff, which is more than I've gotten from some other Yugioh series. For what it is, I like it and it resonated with me emotionally, which is the goal of fiction.

In fact, that's my take on the entire episode: it's not exactly what I would've expected or wanted but I like it overall for what it is. The reason I resent this episode so much is almost purely personal and not reflective of the episode's quality. I have issues with the episode, as I mentioned, but it's a good episode overall. The script just needed some tweaks.

It's a good thing Konami and Entame are taking a break after this episode. They deserve it, first and foremost, and I don't know if I'll be able to return to Go Rush even after their breaks end. I want to know what happens next but it'll be... hard after being hit with something this upsetting so suddenly during an already rough time of the year for me.

I want to return someday, but not if any part of me is still instinctively hopelessly crying out for Kuaidul's return only to be disappointed.

#yugioh go rush spoilers #go rush spoilers #yugioh go rush #go rush #kuaidul velgear #yudias velgear #go rush episode reviews #my feelings on the creator situation go more back and forth than this post would indicate but in a bubble I still love the hug scene

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dotster001 · 2 years

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Hii can i request twisted wonderland romantic matchup?

my pronouns are she/her. I'm istp 5w4 548. My zodiac sign is leo.

I'm ambivert,I'm very laid back and prefer to go with the flow of life but sometimes come off as ego-centric and domineering. I have to admit I’m a lazy person who prefers having a leisure more than anything else. But once i find my motivation I'm actually pretty hardworking, I won't stop or take breaks until i completely finish what I started. I mostly spends my time as a stoic and a calm person and i might even come off as apathetic towards the world around me [even tho I’m not]. I’m usually perceived as being insensitive because i generally prefer to deal with emotions in my own head rather than openly [and somehow I'm still well liked?!] tbh I often think I’m above others, yet I am always willing to acknowledge that I’m a total piece of shit [very rarely tho] Sometimes i have fantasies and ideals that I want to start creating or becoming but i give myself a reality check and let the dream fade away. I’m very innovative but still choose the practical route a lot. It’s easy for me to create goals and envision the end results but it’s ridiculously hard for me to remain committed to the process. I have a very big ego but one word alone is enough to destroy it. i Will never admit my wrong, unless internally. I'm playful around people i like [friends, family, classmates] and if I believe I'm right I'll passive agressivly fight you to prove my point [even if I'm wrong]. Like i said i have hard time committing to something i loose interest, motivation and get bored rather easily. If I'm stressed about something i bottle everything up and worry about it alone. Not because I don't want to burden other or anything simply because my pride and ego is getting in my way. I'm not really a jealous person and even if i get jealous i keep it to myself and try my best to hide it. I care about what others think of me [more like what others think of my parents] so towards strangers and people that know my parents I'm very polite.

I like horror genre [movies, books, analogue horror and etc], watching movies, listening to true. Researching and learning more about myself. I love reading greek mythology and Japanese urban legends, I'm interested in psychology. I wouldn't really consider this as a hobby cause i do it once or twice a year but i also play volleyball and piano. I also really love spicy food.

I dislike dogs, sweet food, really hot weathers, heat and sweat, snow, really loud or really quiet places, math and chemistry, romance movies [i really love romance books tho], when someone ignores or interrupts me. Having my questions unanswered, when people make chewing or drinking sounds. I really hate when grown as adults [or even teenagers] start acting like a child, using baby voice, pouting and using puppy dog eyes

As for my idea type I value honesty and loyalty, I'm more attracted [romantically or platonically] to people who are confident in themselves and their abilities. I also value partner/friend that isn't overprotective and allows me my independence and let's me do things my way. I don't think i have a specific type i just want my partner to keep me entertained as i tend to get bored rather easily.

My love language is act of service and quality time.

(first off, I want to ask, Leona, is that you? At first I was going to pair you with Leona, but I realized your personalities are too similar and would clash. So then I was like, who is my favorite person to ship with Leona besides Yuu? So....)

I match you with Ruggie Bucchi.

Just trust me bro.

Male hyenas are naturally submissive for their partners. So acts of service and quality time as your love language? Mans is all over that. He likes to do chores for you that put him near you. You're doing homework in the kitchen? He's washing dishes. You want to hang out outside? He's already got a rake in his hand. He's greedy though, so you better be ready to pay him back with a kiss.

That said, if what you really want is to just snuggle with him, he'll drop everything to do so. He'll grab some snacks he knows you like, he'll find a fluffy blanket, and he'll watch a horror movie with you while you snuggle.

Ruggie is super attuned to his surroundings, won't take any crap, and is a realist. He learns what triggers you quickly, and works hard to make his queen happy. He never ignores you, and always makes sure that if you have a question or thought, it's never unanswered. He's incredibly loyal, but also a busy bee, so he doesn't have time to be clingy. He knows you can take care of yourself. He'll hold your earrings for you, go kick their asses.

You don't like dogs? Perfect, Hyena's are related to cats. Dogs steal your food, and Ruggie doesn't have food to spare, so I think you're gonna be okay.

Ruggie is sitting on your bed, folding your laundry, while you read a book. He hums a little tune, so that the room isn't too quiet, but aside from that, the two of you are sitting in a comfortable silence.

Suddenly, you spoke up.

"Did you know that Leos are often considered a symbol of power?" You asked.

Ruggie looked up from his folding, "Between you and Leona? Yeah, I figured that out, shihihi."

"What's your birthday again?"

"April 18th," he hummed.

"Aries," you muttered, flipping pages in your book until you found his sign. "Ah, optimistic with no filter." You looked up at him with a sly smile. "Very emotional."

He glared at you for a moment. "Am not."

"Just telling you what the experts say," you said with a shrug, when you felt something soft hit your head. You looked down in your lap, and saw one of your unfolded socks.

"Did you throw a sock at me?"

"Yeah," he grinned.

"Very emotional," you repeated, feeling smug.

"Shut up," he muttered. He continued folding your laundry, but now it could only be described as rage folding.

"Simmering rage, too..."

"You're lucky I'm getting paid for this," he muttered.

"Oh, are you?" You laughed.

He gave you an irritated look, "we prearranged for two kisses."

"You're right," you crawled over to him and gave him a quick peck, followed by a longer kiss. "There, is my emotional, rage filled Aries happy now?"

"Yes," he muttered.

#500 followers #matchups #twisted wonderland #ruggie bucchi x reader #ruggie bucchi

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summerwritesfics · 2 years

Text

⛓️🥀Don’t Know If You Love Me Or You Want Me Dead

Pairing: Hanzo Hasashi/Kuai Liang Length: 3156 Words Rating: Explicit 🔞 Warnings: Hate Sex, Face-Fucking, Restraints, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Grief/Mourning, Oral Sex, Rough Oral Sex, Light Bondage, Angst and Porn, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Suicidal Thoughts, Kuai is having a bad time :( Kinktober Day 9: Hate Sex + Face-Fucking + Restraints

Kinktober Masterlist - Hatefuck Masterlist

Notes: I think I’ve said before that Hatefuck is my favourite fanfic series to work on. Hanzo and Kuai just have such a fun dynamic in it. Kuai especially, because while I write him as a hot mess in general, I feel like Hatefuck tends to bring out his more self destructive qualities. All that’s to say, despite it being Kinktober, this is more angst than porn, but we do get a bit of a analysis on why Kuai is the way he is. As well as Hanzo having the realisation he’s essentially been one of the main villains in Kuai’s life story. Title is from “Teeth” by 5 Seconds Of Summer.

Hanzo’s footsteps echoed on the stone floor, making his way to the cell furthest inside the dungeon. He tried to not use the dungeons much, there really was no need when they had more effective and easily accessible holding cells within the Fire Gardens. This one was only to be used for their most troubling and heinous of guests.

And well, you couldn’t get more heinous than this.

Kuai Liang glared from behind the bars, on his knees and completely restrained against the wall with a mix of cuffs and a crisscross of chains. He looked pissed. Not as pissed as I am.

“Is this really how you treat your guests, Grandmaster Hasashi?” Kuai spat, trying to fight against the chains across his chest. “Throw them in the dungeon to rot?”

“Guest?” Hanzo snarled, opening the cell door and slowly ambling over. “My men found you sneaking into the treasure room.” Once close enough, Hanzo reached down and grabbed Kuai around the neck. “Is that how you treat people you are supposed to be in a peace pact with? By waiting for them to turn their back and then steal from them?”

Kuai said nothing. He didn’t even try to deny what he was doing. Hanzo felt his anger rise, tightening his grip and threatening to cut Kuai’s breathing off.

“What were you looking for? What were you hoping you steal from us?” Hanzo questioned, baring his teeth and growling. Kuai still said nothing. “Well?”

“I’m not telling you anything,” Kuai snarled. Hanzo had no idea where this hostility and secrecy had suddenly come from. Granted even now their relationship was still filled with bickering and fights with each other, but there had not been this level of vitriol for years.

“What the fuck’s gotten into you?” Hanzo demanded, trying to read Kuai’s body language, but it was impossible when he was locked down so tight. About the only thing he could make out was Kuai’s hands balled into fists cuffed up beside his head. “You haven’t been this pissy with me in a long time.”

Kuai bitterly laughed before spitting out “fuck you.”

“Don’t tempt me.” Hanzo let go of Kuai’s throat. “Are you going to answer me, or am I going to have to get drag it out of you?”

“Oh, I wonder how you intend to do that,” Kuai snidely answered, and Hanzo narrowed his eyes. “I should have known having me restrained on my knees wasn’t a coincidence.”

Hanzo reached for Kuai’s chin, lifting his head up. Kuai was so hard to read sometimes. He was clearly mad about something, and yet for some reason, he still wanted Hanzo to fuck him. They’d been through a situation like this before, where Kuai was upset and had believed giving himself to Hanzo to be mistreated would help.

“This isn’t a repeat of what happened after you destroyed the Cyber Lin Kuei is it?” Hanzo wanted to make sure, just in case. The last time he had Kuai genuinely sobbing in his bed was awkward, and all he could manage to do to comfort him was tell him he wasn’t the monster he thought he was.

“No,” Kuai muttered lowly, looking away. “No, it’s not.”

“You’re clearly angry with me about something though,” Hanzo pointed out. Kuai wasn’t acting like he usually would. Not taunting Hanzo to enrage him into treating him rough. This wasn’t the annoying bratty charm Hanzo had come to enjoy. This was just suffocating anger.

“Right now, I’m pissed we’re having this conversation instead of you fucking my face.” Kuai tried to fight against the restraints again, but it did very little to help his situation.

Hanzo weighed up the possibility that Kuai had broken in with the intent of getting caught. It did feel like something he would do. It was just his anger was a little too real and no where near bitchy enough. He supposed all he could do was play Kuai’s game, and hope that a rough throat fucking would persuade Kuai to tell him exactly what was going on.

“Very well,” Hanzo agreed, reaching down to unbuckle his belt and pull away his clothes just enough to get his cock out. He was half hard, because even if he was confused by the situation, there was always something hot about Kuai tied up before him. “If I do this though, you are going to answer my questions and explain what you were looking for.”

Kuai pouted, before giving a loud frustrated sigh and said “fine.”

Well, he guessed if this was how he’d get to the bottom of this all, then so be it. He pushed forward, pressing his cock to Kuai’s lips. The other man took a deep breath to steady himself, before opening his mouth up. He began to feed his cock inside, Kuai screwing his eyes shut as he did.

“Open your eyes,” Hanzo ordered as his cock hit the back of Kuai’s throat. Kuai did not obey, so he pulled his hips back and roughly thrust in again. Kuai choked and opened his eyes, and for a flash second looked like he was considering just biting Hanzo’s cock off. “If you even think about using your teeth on me, I’ll leave you locked down here until you learn how to play nice.”

Kuai growled, but the vibration was nice on Hanzo’s cock so he couldn’t complain. He reached down to grab Kuai’s hair, keeping his head still. Normally he might have had Kuai do the work himself, but today wasn’t the day for that. He pulled out, and slowly pushed back in. He felt his cock slide along Kuai’s tongue, lips clamped around and thankfully he didn’t feel any teeth.

He started slow, or at least, slow-ish. As he drew back he was agonisingly slow, letting the anticipation of it build up, before he drove back in rough. Kuai gagged a few times, but didn’t do anything to indicate he was genuinely uncomfortable.

He risked going a little faster, although his retreat was still a little on the slower side. Watching his cock leave and then disappear into the surprising warmth of Kuai’s mouth was always delightful. Kuai for his part, tried to keep his lips tight around him, his tongue always tasing his skin. Every so often, some precum leaked out of his cock, and he felt Kuai swallow it.

“I do not know what this was all about,” Hanzo grunted between the jerks of his hips. He was getting so much faster and rougher. “But you do always look your best with my cock in your mouth.”

He gave a particularly rough thrust, and Kuai gagged rather violently. As he closed his eyes a tear rolled down his cheek, but otherwise he made no indication he wanted things to end. Hanzo was trying to be acutely aware of Kuai’s apparent mood, even as he was loosing himself to pleasure. His thrusts were becoming desperate now, deep and every so often he heard his balls hit with Kuai’s chin with an audible slap.

He was getting close, and as much as he would like to continue, strip Kuai and fuck him against the wall, he also had to choose his battles. And right now, that battle was getting answers to what Kuai was doing here.

He could always take Kuai back to his room later anyway.

He pushed Kuai’s head back against the wall, before forcing his cock further and further down, until Kuai’s nose was touching his pelvis. As he came, he felt Kuai’s throat contracting, swallowing the seed as it was poured into his throat. He held them there like that, before he finally made his exit. Kuai gasped, like he was desperate to get air into his lungs. Hanzo decided he could give him a moment to recover.

When Kuai’s breathing grew quiet and returned to normal, Hanzo decided the interrogation could begin.

“Now that is done,” Hanzo rumbled, and Kuai’s head slowly lifted. God, even though he got what he wanted, his was still looking at Hanzo with such contempt. “What were you looking for?” Kuai silently seethed at him, Hanzo reached down to lightly slapped Kuai’s face. “Hey, we had an agreement. I fuck your face, you tell me what you were looking for.”

Kuai looked like he was about to explode, but finally he growled, “Bi-Han’s mask.”

Hanzo felt himself falter. After he had murdered Bi-Han, he had kept the mask as a memento, a trophy even, to remind himself that he’d gotten the vengeance he sought.

The fact he actually hadn’t really didn’t cross his mind when he’d made the conscious decision to hold on to it beyond the truth being revealed.

“I overheard Takeda telling Cassandra you had it,” Kuai snarled, and Hanzo could see the way his body was trembling. He doubted it was from the strain of the restraints. “I want it back.”

“Why?” Hanzo questioned, not really understanding why Kuai would break their pact for a fairly inocous item.

“Oh, I don’t fucking know, Hanzo. Maybe because it’s the one thing my brother owned that hasn’t been destroyed or otherwise eradicated?” Kuai’s anger was so thick it bled into the air around them. Hanzo had tried to invoke the man’s temper before, but not like this. This was beyond anything he’d seen from Kuai before. “No, why wouldn’t I want the one last thing I could have to remember him by? Why wouldn’t I be fucking furious you kept it from me? Why wouldn’t I be angry that you kept a fucking trophy from the innocent man you murdered in cold blood?”

Hanzo had no idea what to say, all he could do was watch with an uneasy feeling settling in his stomach as Kuai bowed his head and let out a loud sob.

A sob so guttural and broken that Hanzo didn’t need a safeword to know it wasn’t because of their games.

“Why are you the only one allowed to grieve?” Kuai asked, voice completely wrecked and sounding so very broken.

This was far worse than the Cyber Lin Kuei incident. Maybe because this was something Hanzo’s actions caused. Despite their unease and rivalry, it was disturbing to see Kuai so utterly defeated. He didn’t have any answers to any of Kuai’s questions. He didn’t know that Kuai had none of Bi-Han’s belongings left, he didn’t know why he hadn’t mentioned it to him.

He didn’t even know why he’d kept it after learning the truth of his families murder.

“Kuai Liang,” He started, awkwardly shoving his dick back into his pants. He got down on one knee, trying to be more on eye level. “Why didn’t you ask me for it, instead of trying to steal it?”

“Would you have given it to me?” Kuai looked Hanzo dead in the eye as he asked. His eyes were red and there were tears streaming down his cheeks.

And once again, Hanzo did not have an answer. He genuinely did not know if he would have given the mask to Kuai if he’d asked. There was a part of him that felt he’d have clung on to reckless pride and denied knowing what Kuai was talking about. At Hanzo’s silence, Kuai began to laugh, although it sounded strained and cracked.

“You are a fucking terrible person,” he snivelled, bowing his head once again. His chest heaved and shoulders shook.

“I know,” Hanzo agreed, reaching one hand forward to push Kuai’s hair off his face, while the other went to start undoing the restraints. “But I do want to be a better one.”

Kuai didn’t reply to that, but Hanzo slowly undid all the chains and shackles. Despite being free, Kuai did not try to get up and leave, he just lent forward, bracing himself on his hands and he continued to cry. Hanzo risked patting his head a couple of times, before standing up and stepping away. He let his flames engulf him, the cell disappearing in the whirlwind.

He remerged in the treasure room, right in front of the mask in question. He gingerly reached for it, using his thumb to explore the detailing on it. One day, maybe he would truly make up for his sins, but until then, he could at least to the right thing for this situation.

Once again the flames came, and he was back in the cell. He was surprised Kuai was still here, but he supposed he was glad that he hadn’t attempted to run in his distraught state. Approaching again, he got back onto his knees, grasping one of Kuai’s wrists. He brought his hand up, flipping it over so the palm was facing up.

He then placed the mask in Kuai’s hand.

Kuai’s breathing hitched, and he slowly looked up at his hand. He observed the mask for a couple of seconds, before bringing his other hand to grasp it carefully. His mouth opened as he gently stroked the mask with his thumbs. Finally, Kuai looked up at Hanzo. He still looked completely and utterly emotionally wrecked, but that anger and hatred was no longer shining in his eyes.

“Thank you,” Kuai croaked out, carefully pulling the mask to his chest, nursing it like he was hugging it. “Thank you.”

Hanzo sighed and manoeuvred to sit down on the floor. He observed the other man, his body was limp, like everything was just too heavy for him in that moment. While the point of contention was now somewhat eliminated, Hanzo realised there was a strangely disturbing trend emerging.

“Kuai Liang, why do you always try to solve your problems with sex?” He asked, expected some sort of denial from Kuai about that being what he did. It never came, instead Kuai gave him a tired smile.

“Because it’s the only thing makes me feel good.” Kuai’s head swayed slightly, while Hanzo could only sit and feel the horror of that sentence sink into his bones. “Can I be honest, Hanzo?” Despite his reservations as to what was about to be said, Hanzo gave an affirmative hum. “If we weren’t fucking on the regular, I would have killed myself years ago.”

What the fuck was Hanzo supposed to say to that sentence?

He had always suspected Kuai to be slightly depressed, but he had no idea that it was to this level. How had he not noticed this before? Had anyone noticed this? Kuai had friends in the Special Forces, surely one of them must have noticed.

“Every relationship I’ve had seemed to end up bringing me nothing but pain,” Kuai continued, seeming to realise Hanzo had no idea what to say. “At least with you, I know exactly where we stand, and that the pain was a part of the package from the start. When you tell me that I belong to you, it’s the closest anyone’s ever come to telling me they love me.” Kuai’s eyes flicked down to the mask. “When I found out you were keeping this from me, it felt like just one more knife in my back. Like I didn’t know where we stand after all.”

“You are right about me being a terrible person, if I was so blind to not see the pain you have been in all this time,” Hanzo agreed. He could see now that with everything they’d been through, why this one small action Hanzo had barely thought of would be such a huge betrayal to the Grandmaster of the Lin Kuei. “I am not exactly an expert at managing pain but, have you ever considered going to therapy?”

Kuai laughed, thankfully a little less wrecked this time. “Careful, you’re starting to sound like Jonathan.”

Ah, so it seemed Cage knew about Kuai’s struggles. At least someone knew. At least someone wanted to help him.

“It is just, none of what you’ve told me is healthy,” Hanzo slowly informed him. Kuai looked back up at him with a look that screamed “well duh”. Hanzo chuckled, “I know. I’m sorry. I just do not know what I can do to help you.”

“That’s not your burden,” Kuai softly informed him.

“No, but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t take accountability for my part in your pain.” He carefully reached over, placing his hand on Kuai’s head. “I can not do anything to take back what I’ve done to you, but I will do what I can to lessen any future suffering.”

“Unless it’s in the bedroom,” Kuai slyly replied, before sighing and closing his eyes. “Maybe I do need therapy. When it was just Jonathan telling me I needed it, it was easier to bury my head in the sand. But if even you think I need help, maybe there is some truth behind it.”

“It might be for the best,” Hanzo agreed, gently carding his hand through Kuai’s hair. “I think you’d benefit from someone more qualified than my dick.”

“Oh, I don’t know, I’d say your dick was more than qualified for the position,” Kuai laughed, and Hanzo had never been so thankful to see him smiling. “This- uh. Does this change things between us?”

“No, but I do think we need to make some adjustments to our relationship,” Hanzo decided, maybe it was out of a selfish desire to keep fucking the other man. He preferred to think it was the best way of keeping Kuai safe. Having him within arms reach lest he begin to fall further into his depression. “In particular, if there are issues, we need to be able to actually talk about them.”

“Of course,” Kuai agreed with a nod. “I will also try to stop initiating sex when I’m running on raw emotions.”

“Good,” Hanzo agreed, pushing himself to stand and holding out a hand to Kuai. The other man accepted it, and Hanzo hauled him to his feet. “We should discuss this in more detail, maybe over tea.” Hanzo did not let go of Kuai’s hand, and began to lead him out of the cell. “And then maybe I can find a way to things up to you.”

The way Kuai raised an eyebrow indicated he understood the implications. “What about not solving everything with sex?”

“Well, technically we have already solved this without sex. This is more me showing you that as much as you belong to me, I also belong to you.” It felt strange, allowing another to claim ownership of him. The bite mark on his shoulder began to tingle slightly. “Besides, are you really going to say no to tying me to the bed and riding me for hours?”

“Good point,” Kuai flatly said, but there was a shine in his eye now that was previously missing. “Tea and talk first, then we’ll see what happens.”

Despite everything, maybe, just maybe, there was a way the two of them could make this strange fucked up relationship work.

#mortal kombat #subscorp #kuai liang #sub zero #hanzo hasashi #scorpion #⛓️kinktober 2022 #🥀hatefuck

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joymaxxr · 2 years

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i jus started crying again

i know how badly my mental health is affecting my ability to spend quality time with my family and friends. im scared im missing all of my life because im so mentally fatigued that i can hardly remember anything and just like. im just straight up not there anymore. i really don't want to let my mental health affect me but the more i ignore it the worse it's getting. i don't know what to do anymore. ive become a complete danger to myself and i CAN'T prevent it anymore. no matter how hard i wish i was normal with normal emotions and a healthy way of swapping between those emotions, i am not, and i can't do any of these. i have an "all-or-nothing" mindset that is just destroying everything around me. ive ruined all of my relationships. nobody wants to talk to me anymore, nobody wants to be near me, or even be SEEN near me. the only people ive talked to this week are you guys and my parents. nobody else. i can't just put on a happy face and pretend everything is fine anymore. the mask ive desperately hid behind is decaying in my hands. it's gone. ive shown my true colors to everyone. i am a horrible person and i don't know how to stop myself.

i could have avoided all this. my mom was willing to get me help. she's trying her best and im just completely shutting down and failing on her. i feel bad but i can't even stop myself anymore. i feel like nothing is going to get better for me. im a lost cause. i don't deserve to go this long without hurting myself. it's a punishment for everything i've done.

#ned flander's very own blog #vent

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esther-dot · 2 years

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unpopular opinion maybe (?) but i don't think most people actually hated the ending of got because it was badly done or badly written. the show had been sloppy for years before the finale and most of us were still enjoying it, so i don't think it was really about that. i think we all tell ourselves we hated it because of that, but most of us probably wouldn't have minded it if only we'd gotten our preferred ending. d*ny fans would have been over the moon if they'd gotten an ending with her on the iron throne and jon as her devoted consort, regardless of how badly written, directed, and acted it was. sansa fans would have been equally over the moon if we'd not only gotten qitn but also sansa in a loving relationship with our preferred suitor, whomever that might be, quality of the writing be damned. arya fans would have been beside themselves with joy if they'd gotten their "queen arya with gendry as her lover" preferred ending, no matter how stupidly it was done. and so on and so forth, for fans of every character. the terrible writing certainly didn't help matters, but in my opinion the show's real failure was that it managed to leave literally EVERYONE unhappy and unsatisfied, and feeling that their fave had been cheated in some way.

Well, it’s kinda true for me! I was mocking D&D’s horrible choices and criticizing the show all season eight as I watched it, but if I had gotten Jonsa in the finale I would have definitely posted a “I have never said anything bad about D&D in my life” joke. 😂

This is why, even though I will never watch it again and I won’t watch the spin-offs, I’m not gonna pretend I stopped liking the show back in s5. There was a lot of “y’all thought the ending would be good? The show’s sucked since s4” stuff going around when we were all disappointed with the finale, but middles are hard! Lots of stories struggle there, and I was still caught up in what was happening and wondering where it would end until s7 just…made no sense to me. I was a show fan first so I wasn’t upset about their deviations from the books because I didn’t know about them at the time. I was still enjoying the show through s6. Honestly, s6 was a highpoint for me. Sansa and Jon reuniting, Sansa using LF, reclaiming Winterfell, Sansa finally being safe and happy, Jon becoming king….I understand hating the Ramsay plotline, being upset about Dorne etc, but as a Stark fan, a Sansa and a Jon fan, season six was very rewarding.

It wasn’t until after s7 aired that I started listening to Martin interviews/read the books, and at that point I learned that a) Martin has known the ending for the main characters for years, b) he told D&D, c) he expected the endings would be similar. So, I assumed that D&D had a plan and were working towards his ending and weren’t gonna just… plop his ending on whatever the hell it was they were doing without making it make sense. Silly me 😂

Thinking back though, I didn’t actually need Jonsa to be ok with the ending. The main complaint for most of us is how they wrote Jon. If they confirmed that Jon bent the knee because he had to and was afraid of Dany/trying to manage her the whole time, that he wasn’t disloyal to the North/his family and lying to cover his own ass, I could have eventually reconciled myself to the ending because there are a lot of ideas it’s touching on. I think that’s why I didn’t just drop the show/fandom completely after the show ended because there are so many things that I think one good kick would have allowed the whole thing to shift and settle into stuff from earlier seasons and things from the books and would have, as much as we wouldn’t want it to, worked. Instead it felt like D&D were waging a war of retribution on the fans and just wanted to destroy all the relationships they could. They really should have let Bryan Cogman have more sway in the final season or rewrite their finale script or something. You could feel the love in his episode, D&D’s felt intentionally cruel.

I agree with you though that no vocal part of the fandom (Jon fans, Dany fans, Arya fans…) getting what they wanted, none of the big ships (Jonerys, Jonsa, Gendrya, Braime…) getting a good ending, that’s why the show was so decried by fans and so hated. There was nothing truly redeeming in the ending on an emotional level/for the characters and their relationships, so even for someone like me, a Sansa fan, a character who got the best ending and “won” in a way none of the other characters did, it felt very empty. But, I have to say, I’ve seen a number of fans who are happy with the ending. Some people really liked the fact that the ending was so different from traditional fantasy. They appreciated Jon going beyond the Wall because they didn’t want him or Dany to rule. And with the success of HOTD and fans returning to GOT (indicated by the rewatch numbers on HBO Max), maybe there are a lot more of those fans than I realized.

#ask dot #< tag to filter

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egcdeath · 3 years

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ways to say i love you without saying “i love you”

pairing: steve rogers x reader

summary: you and steve explore love languages

word count: 5.1k

warnings: fluff, a little angst because of miscommunications, reader & steve being idiots, good intentions but terrible delivery, mentions of other characters

author’s note: this fic has been sitting unfinished in my drafts for so long. this fic is like, ancient. this fic was almost destroyed because it was briefly in the library of alexandria. when i reopened the document with this fic, there were mold spores growing on it. (p.s. steve’s love langauge is acts of service, and the reader’s is quality time)

you can find my masterlist and taglist here

Prologue

Steve was a multitasker. You knew this well. Perhaps too well.

That never seemed to bother you before, but if the man who was supposed to be taking a serene nature walk with you checked his goddamn flip phone one more time, you were completely sure that you’d lose it.

You paused your story about your obnoxious coworkers for a moment, stopping in the middle of the gravelly trail you two were making your way down.

“Steve, seriously, are you even listening?” you griped, ushering him towards the side of the pavement as a man on a bike flew by.

He guffawed a bit at this, “of course I am. You just said something about…” he paused, and you gestured with your hands for him to continue. “Okay, sorry,” the blush on his face was becoming more and more apparent.

You involuntarily scoffed, rolling your eyes as you did so, “I’m glad to know that whatever you’re waiting for on there,” you gestured to his pocket, “is more important than spending quality time with your girlfriend, who, must I remind you, took time off to be here with you.”

“Nothing is more important to me than you, I’m just on call. I’m probably going to get called to go on a mission any moment now.”

“Steve!” you huffed, “you literally just got back, like, two hours ago. Can’t someone else go? Tony? Vision? Anyone?”

“I might’ve volunteered myself-“

“You’re unbelievable, Steve. Are you getting tired of me or something? You’ve been avoiding me like the plague ever since I moved in with you. If I upset you, or you’re gonna propose to me or something, can you just tell me?”

“I promise you it’s not personal at all,” he reached for your hand and gently held it. “Everything’s just been crazy. I mean, these Hydra bases have been popping up left and right. Just give me a little grace, okay? I don’t get upset with you when SHIELD starts making you work those ungodly hours.”

You opened your mouth to debate him, but surely enough, the canny and familiar ringtone of Steve’s work phone interrupted you before you could even begin.

“Okay… Yeah. I’ll be there in thirty.”

You frowned at Steve as he spoke on the phone and shook your head disapprovingly, “unbelievable,” you muttered, storming in the direction of your home.

——

Steve was no fool, he knew when he messed up, and he was more than willing to take responsibility for such. Now was one of those times. He knew that he should’ve been making more time for you. He was well aware that he shouldn’t have gotten defensive when you pointed this out.

He just had no idea how to apologize.

You weren’t exactly making it easy for him either, taking much longer hours in an attempt to avoid him. While he could understand your frustrations, it became a little more difficult everyday for him to properly apologize to you in a way he felt was meaningful.

Eventually figuring to use your avoidance as a tool, Steve devised a plot to make an apology for you so considerate, so superb, that you could never be angry with him again. A plot that included a several course meal, all concocted by himself.

He could imagine the look on your face as you came home from work, shocked, but the good kind of shock. Pleasantly surprised that your sweet boyfriend had put in such a huge amount of effort to say sorry.

He couldn’t help but imagine the scenario: you would relax into your seat at the table after Steve pulled out the chair for you, hum in content as he poured your favorite wine. Moan happily at the taste of a homemade and rarely prepared salad dressing, before complimenting the melt-in-your-mouth entree he had spent an unknown amount of time laboring over. Finally, you’d gush over the dessert that Steve hadn’t had the chance to cook in years, tell him that he worked far too hard putting everything together, especially for a little argument. Steve would scoff, tell you you’re being too kind, and you would pull him in for a red wine and dark chocolate flavored kiss.

The thought of you, your genuine and warm smile after a long day at work, and an even longer week worth of unspoken tension between you both, was enough to keep Steve motivated through the hours he spent preparing your meal.

He greeted you at the door like an excited puppy as soon as he heard your keys jingle. Sure, work had kept you a bit longer than he’d expected, and your food was likely a little cool by now, but he was excited to make amends.

However, you did not seem to share the same enthusiasm as Steve.

“Welcome home, gorgeous. Come sit,” Steve nudged you into the dining area, and you sluggishly followed, exhausted from a tiring day of training new agents.

“What’s wrong?” he inquired, pulling out a chair that you didn’t even attempt to sit down on.

“I had a really long day. I kinda just wanna get to bed,” you shrugged before rubbing your creased temple.

Steve internally cringed at the thought of all of his hard work going to waste. For some reason, he’d not envisioned this less pleasant outcome before. “Sweetheart,” he began in a nearly whiny tone, but you weren’t in much of a mood to be persuaded.

“I’m sorry. Weird things were happening at work that I don’t care to get into now, and honestly, I’m not even that hungry,” you reached out and gave Steve’s hand a little squeeze. “But it all looks and smells so good! I Promise I’ll warm some up tomorrow for lunch.”

“I-,” he paused, “please. Maybe you could just take a few bites of everything. It took me a really long time to get everything prepped and ready.”

You frowned at the plea, feeling a bit guilty but almost… satisfied at the same time. Steve struggled to make time for you because of his work, and now he was getting a little taste of his own medicine.

“I really am sorry. But hey, now we’re even?” you offered with a playful wink, slipping away before you gave your partner a chance to respond. You truly didn’t have the energy for a four course meal that night, let alone another argument.

——

Wanda was silent for a moment as she sipped from a mug of coffee, watching you with a suspiciously focused look on her face.

“Wanda?” you prompted, seemingly snapping her out of whatever trance she had found herself in.

“Oh my God, I know exactly what you guys need,” she just about blurted, reaching across the café table to grab your hand.

“Were you reading my mind?”

Your friend didn’t respond, but the devious smirk on her face was enough of an answer.

“What happened to telling me before reading me?”

“You just looked like there was a lot on your mind. And absolutely no way that you’d tell me,” she shrugged nonchalantly.

“Of course I was gonna tell you! Why else would I ask my friend in a cute relationship to meet me for coffee?”

“Because you like me?”

“No, never that. I just needed advice,” the two of you shared a laugh for a moment.

“Well don’t waste your breath. When Vis and I had a rough patch, we just had to learn each other’s love languages. You’d be surprised just how much that synthezoid values those acts of services.”

“And you?”

“I’m a words of affirmation girl myself,” she shrugged. “You should find out yours, and try to figure out Steve’s. I guarantee it’ll be helpful in the long run. I can send you guys a test, if you want?”

“Oh god no, please don’t tell him that I told you about us. Actually, I didn’t even tell you! You were digging around in my brain, and I don’t appreciate that. Just do me a favor, and don’t share this with anyone, okay?” You paused dramatically, then leaned in to speak to your friend in a whisper, “but send me that test when you get the chance.”

Gift Giving

“A little reality-warping birdie told me you’ve been having some relationship problems,” Tony said teasingly once Bruce left the conference room, leaving him and Steve alone.

Steve paused for a moment, trying to decide whether he should lie or fess up to the allegation. “How did she know?” Steve finally responded, standing up and pushing the chair he was sitting on behind him.

Tony shrugged dismissively, “I don’t ask these kinds of things. I just hear in passing that the geriatric is having a hard time and tune in.”

Steve shook his head slightly, rolling his eyes to mask his clear embarrassment.

“Well, is it true?”

“We’ve just been having the occasional… rift. A little more than occasionally.”

Tony nodded, fake pondering the situation, “well, I always know what I do for Pep, at least after I tell her I’m getting rid of the suit. Go buy her something nice. Really nice, like jewelry, or a purse if she’s into that kind of thing. I would say a car, but I know that Social Security check isn’t getting you too far. You know what? Put it on the company card. My treat.”

Steve wanted to scoff, turn his nose up at the offer like it was a terrible idea, but it really wasn’t. Maybe a material surprise was the way to win you back. He made a soft ‘hmph,’ noise as he mulled it over. “That’s definitely not your worst idea. Thanks,” he gave his teammate a soft smile before collecting himself and heading out of the conference room.

His first stop after work was some local jeweler. Steve threw on a (not very) inconspicuous outfit before entering the building, where he browsed for a good hour, searching for something that he believed you’d like. After looking at more jewelry than he had ever cared to see in his life, he decided on a necklace with a thin golden chain with a decent sized diamond hanging off of it. It was a little pricier, and you’d be able to tell— but he hoped it would help the gift mean more to you.

——

When you arrived home late that night, Steve was sitting in the living room waiting for you. It was almost daunting, the sight of him sitting alone on the couch mostly in the dark, only the television illuminating his face. He kind of reminded you of a parent waiting to confront their child who just snuck out, or a concerned friend seconds away from staging an intervention with you.

Walking past the room, you peeked your head through the doorway, and observed the flat, small box in front of him on the coffee table.

“Hey, Sweetheart,” he greeted, standing up so he could greet you with a hug and grabbing the little box as he did so.

“Is everything okay?” you probed, speaking into Steve’s shoulder.

“Of course. I just wanted you to know how much I love you, and that I’m sorry for not having as much time for you as I should,” he pulled away before holding the box out for you.

You hesitantly took the box and opened it, letting out a gasp when you viewed the delicate looking gold necklace.

You were having mixed emotions, because it was clearly beautiful and you were grateful to the gesture. But you knew that this must’ve been expensive, and that it was so unlike Steve to have done something like this. Your frugal, Great Depression era guy wasn’t exactly the most material.

“I love it,” you gushed, admiring the jewelry.

“Can I put it on you?” Steve asked, and received a nod in return.

Steve set the box down on the table and lifted up the necklace, bringing it up to your neck and focusing on clasping it in the back.

“Babe, how much was this?” you blurted, not even being able to filter the words before they left your mouth.

“Hmm? That doesn’t matter,” he dismissed, then stepped away from you to admire your clavicle.

“It just feels weird letting you spend so much on me.”

“It’s a gift, though. You’re not supposed to think about those things,” he hummed, pressing a chaste peck to your nose.

“Steve, I got you a Nespresso for Christmas and you wouldn’t stop complaining about how expensive it was. I love it, I really do. It’s beautiful and I’ll always think of you when I wear it. I just think that maybe we should have the same standards for each other,” you stood up from your seat and sidestepped him. “I need a shower.”

Steve watched you walk off, letting your words simmer in his thoughts.

That was the last time he would take relationship advice from Tony.

Words of Affirmation

This conclusion probably shouldn’t have taken you this long, but you were almost completely sure that this would be the love language to win Steve back over. You felt bad for some of the occurrences between the two of you lately, with sour exchanges and sweet moments that turned bitter on a whim.

In all honesty, you were concerned that Steve doubted your love for him. And if his love language really was words of affirmation, this would certainly convince him otherwise.

You sat at your desk the night before Steve departed for a two-week mission, trying to write a nice message for him. You tapped your pen on the stock paper in deep thought as you tried to figure out the best thing to say.

I’m sorry for arguing so much with you lately. You and everything that you do mean the world to me, even when you get on my nerves. I love you more than anything and that will never change.

The words looked cramped and unkempt on the little note. Your handwriting got messier as you went. You groaned at it, crumpled the paper, and tossed it in your trash bin. Time to start over again.

I’m sorry for arguing with you. I love you a lot. Can you stop picking up your phone when we’re spending time together?

You groaned at the passive aggressive tone of your message. That certainly wasn’t going to get you anywhere. Straight to the bin it goes.

I love you so much so don’t die on your mission or I’ll be pretty upset. Be safe out there xx.

The tone was even more off now. You needed to think of something that would really make Steve remember you while he was gone. For a second, you considered snapping a nude with a polaroid and attaching it to the letter.

I’m sorry that things have been so bad nasty for us lately. I promise that I love you, despite our ups and downs. Nothing will ever change that. I’ll miss you more than you know while you’re gone. Make sure you call me every day, my love.

A little cheesy, but you signed off with your name regardless, and contentedly looked at your work. The spacing looked correct, the tone wasn’t harsh, and you knew for a fact that Steve would appreciate it.

You stayed up a little later than normal, waiting for Steve to get home and change out of his ‘work clothes’ so that you could slip the note into his utility belt.

You folded the note to a small little square and set it beside an granola bar in a pocket you’d assumed he frequently used. Content with your work, you laid back in bed until your partner slipped in bed beside you, and sleepily cuddled into you until you were both unconscious.

—

Around two weeks had passed since Steve had seen you last, and he had decided to stop by the office and finish up paperwork before coming to see you. It had been radio silence on his end, despite the note in his clothing that clearly requested daily contact. Part of you wondered if Steve had seen it at all.

Steve had just finished signing the documents when he finally noticed it, reaching into a sparsely used part of his belt to have a quick snack. His hand landed on a folded piece of paper, and he cringed as he unfolded it, the letter becoming clearer and clearer as he did so. He wondered just how long the message had been waiting for him.

He read your sweet words with a frown on his face, the guilt from not opening it sooner overriding the sweet feelings that he would otherwise have. He grabbed his phone and considered texting you, but abandoned that thought altogether.

“FRIDAY, any idea where Y/N is right now?”

“I was told not to share any information about Ms. L/N, Captain Rogers.”

“Whose orders?” Steve pressed.

“Hers,” the bot quipped back.

Steve groaned aloud. He was really in for it tonight.

Physical Touch

“Have you tried touching her more?” Thor casually queried. The water that Steve had just consumed nearly flew out of his nose, and his cheeks reddened instantly.

“Pardon?” he asked, looking away from his friend instantly.

“I understand that you and Y/N have been having troubles lately. Perhaps she does not feel held by you. Maybe she wants you to show her off in public, to hold her hand, hug her,” he suggested.

Could Steve even be blamed for going there? He was having a chat with a god of fertility. Who wouldn’t think the same?

“Stark’s gala tonight. Show the world that she’s yours, and I guarantee that she’ll love every moment of it.”

——

You were confused. Really confused.

The night began with some simple touches, hand holding as you entered the building, a casual arm around your waist as you chatted with donors and politicians you hadn’t seen in months, a playful match of footsie under the table while waiting for food. But it came to a head when Steve had decided to rest his hand on your ass and grope you in the midst of a conversation.

Now, in any other situation, you would welcome this affection. But both you and Steve had never been a fan of PDA, and this was a bit too far.

As subtle as you could manage, you pushed his hand away, offering him a sour look as you did so.

“Excuse us,” you told some rich old man in an artificially sweet tone before ushering Steve off to his office for a bit more privacy.

“What was that about?” you questioned, sitting down in the padded chair behind Steve’s desk, and running your fingers over your necklace in a bit of a nervous tick.

“What do you mean?” he retorted, standing across from you at the desk and setting his hands on top of the clear table.

“Why were you groping me in front of people? That’s really... unlike you. And it made me uncomfortable.”

Steve frowned genuinely, looking down at the table in embarrassment. “I’m really sorry. For making you uncomfortable. It sounds ridiculous but I was just trying something new.”

“Apology accepted, but are you sure? You weren’t like, jealous of those guys or something? You know you’re the only hundred year old I have eyes for,” you set your hands atop of his and squeezed.

Steve chuckled at this, the flush of his cheeks only highlighted more by the laughter, “it’s just that, uh, Thor told me I should try showing you off more. Or something like that.”

“So you groped me in front of our guests? That’s silly. And a little unprofessional,” you glanced over at the cork board on his desk sitting next to his desktop, and amongst the neatly arranged scratched out to-do lists and random reminders, you couldn’t help but notice the creased paper of the note you’d left for his mission. Your chest warmed when your eyes fell upon it.

“When did you find this thing?” you asked, pointing to the note.

“I meant to say something, but when I found it, FRIDAY said you didn’t want to talk to me. SO I was going to bring it up when I got home, but you were still working. After that, I kinda… you know-”

“Forgot?” you finished with a hearty laugh, “It’s fine. You’re such a dork. C’mere so I can get my own groping in,” you chided, grinning to yourself when Steve wrapped his arms around you in a tight embrace.

Acts of Service

Steve was quietly folding your laundry in your bedroom when it finally occurred to you, but when it did, it hit like a ton of bricks.

Steve’s love language was acts of service!

Things suddenly began to make sense to you, the way that he initially attempted to apologize by spending hours cooking one meal, how he consistently worked to make your life as comfortable as possible, and his great insistence to do house chores, despite you being more than capable.

Steve set down a stack of folded sweatshirts by your calf, snapping you away from your brief retrospective daze. If that really was the case, and Steve’s love language truly was acts of kindness, you had to come up with some sort of plan to communicate to him just how much you cared about him in a way that he really appreciated.

Luckily for you, you were a quick thinker. Before you even knew it, a week filled with random acts of kindness before he was off on yet another mission was quickly hatched.

——

You were up at the ass-crack of dawn. Really. Steve liked to get up earlier than the sun in order to run, or train, or whatever the hell it was that superheroes did. You were seriously regretting your decision to wake up around the same time as him in order to do some favors for him in the morning.

By the time Steve was back from his run, his favorite coffee was brewed and cooling, and you were in the laundry room at the dryer, preparing to give Steve a warm towel after his shower.

Despite the three mugs of coffee you’d just downed, it was becoming more and more difficult to keep your eyes open. It didn’t help that your eyelids felt like they weighed fifty pounds each, and the warmth of the dryer next to you was providing you with just enough comfort to drift off.

And drift you did. In fact, half an hour later, you’d missed the frantic calling out for you from your boyfriend as he searched for you around the apartment.

You finally awoke when he shook your shoulders, his amused voice bringing you back to consciousness.

“What’s going on here?” Steve grinned, pushing some hair out of your face.

“Mmm,” you began, “Iwantedtogetawarmtowel,” you slurred sleepily and incoherently.

“Even with super hearing I couldn’t decipher that. Let’s get you a mattress, okay?” Steve hoisted you up like you were nothing, and carried your half asleep body all the way up to your bedroom.

The next thing you knew, you were buried under your favorite comforter and propped against a mountain of feathery pillows. A gentle forehead kiss and an incomprehensible sentence about calling off of work for you later, you were back in a deep sleep.

So much for warm towels.

—

You were going to do better this time. That’s what you told yourself as you strolled through the grocery store, the same store that you hadn’t shopped in since moving in with Steve, as he preferred to do the shopping himself.

Equipped with a short paper list and sheer determination to make the trip as short and accurate as possible, you gathered all of the groceries that you believed were necessary— just enough to restock the fridge, and fill some gaps left in the cupboard.

Your time at the store was indeed brief, as you found yourself in the checkout lane after just twenty minutes (you definitely weren’t going to brag about that to Steve later. Definitely not), and back home with just enough time to unload the groceries, and further prep yourself to go to work.

You’d honestly forgotten about your trip to the store by the time that you arrived home, up until you found your boyfriend arm deep in your pantry, hellbent on finding… something.

“Can I help you?” you poked with a laugh, coming up beside Steve and peeking over his shoulder.

“I’m just… Did you happen to grab any protein bars while you were at the store?” he asked, pausing his search to look back at you.

“I don’t think so. Why? It’s not like you need any more protein,” you teased, squeezing a bicep to demonstrate your words.

“They’re pretty convenient when I’m out in the field. Don’t worry about it, though. I’ll just swing by the store and grab some before my mission tomorrow. Actually, I should probably go now. Y’know, before I forget,” Steve was already grabbing his car keys from the counter by the time his sentence was finished, leaving you to fight off your disappointment at your minor grocery store failure.

You looked at what you now knew was an insufficiently filled pantry and pinched the bridge of your nose. You had seriously underestimated the ins and outs of shopping for a super soldier.

Well, third time’s the charm?

—

After this week, you would never complain about waking up early again. You were now up at an absolutely ungodly hour, scrambling eggs, flipping pancakes, and spreading jam on toast for a sleeping, unsuspecting Steve.

You placed the plate on a sturdy wooden tray, poured orange juice and an extra glass of water, and set a nicely folded napkin, along with utensils, next to the items.

You hoped that the scent of bacon wafting up to your bedroom would eventually pull him out of his slumber, and seeing how bacon was the only thing left to finish cooking, you took a little break.

A round of Candy Crush turned into two, then three, and goddamnit, why can’t you beat this fourth level! You got so wrapped up in your mobile game that you didn’t even notice when the scent from your kitchen became slightly rancid, and when you rushed over to the oven to check on your now extremely burnt bacon, the smoke detector wailed.

You grabbed a kitchen towel and waved your arms like a madwoman near the smoke detector, the shrieking eventually stopping, but not before Steve was halfway down the stairs.

“Y/N, where are you? Is everything okay?” he nearly shouted, racing down the stairs and barreling through the smoky kitchen to find you. When he reached you, he wrapped his arms around your waist and began to pull you out of the kitchen.

“Steve, relax. Everything is okay. Except those pieces of bacon,” you rubbed your now sweaty palms on your pajama pants before breaking away from him to crack open the kitchen window.

“Christ, what happened? And why are you up so early?”

“I was trying to make you breakfast in bed,” you admitted, rather embarrassed by the dramatic scene you’d accidentally created. “Sorry,” you muttered.

Steve wrapped his arms around you once more, this time in a reassuring bear hug that left your cheeks pressed to his chest. “Don’t be. I really appreciate this, and everything else you’ve done this week. It’s the thought that counts, right?”

“I guess,” you mumbled into his shirt.

“Besides, everything else looks delicious. And you tried your best for me while trying something new. I think that’s really sweet of you.”

“Really?” you pried, looking up at him.

“Really,” Steve confirmed.

“Well, I think it would be really sweet of you if you went back to bed and got all cozy so I can take care of you.”

Steve chuckled softly, pressed a little kiss to your nose, then nodded, “yes ma’am.”

Quality Time

Steve had been in a bubbly mood since getting back from his mission, and for no particular reason. It wasn’t like you weren’t happy that your partner was happy, but feeling like you were out of the loop was slightly concerning.

Before you could let your thoughts run too wild, you decided to pop the question during one of your evening walks.

“Okay Steve, what is going on with you?” you asked, veering to the side of the trail when a biker rode past you.

“Nothing big. Nothing too important. I’m just out of service for the next three months,” Steve said casually, playing it cool.

“What?!” you paused, your brows raising and eyes widening in surprise as you searched his face for sincerity. “You’re serious?”

“Serious as a heart attack.”

“Steve!” you gasped happily, nearly roaring out his name in excitement. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

“I was going to tell you before wining and dining you, but you beat me to it. So…?”

“…So I’m happy to have you back. I may need you to negotiate some time away from work for me in the next few months, then. I don’t wanna miss this preview of stay-at-home-dad-Steve.”

“Hey, don’t push it.”

“Oh, I’m planning on pushing it.”

Epilogue

The sun was beating down on you, but the soothing breeze that flowed past your checked blanket every so often provided a pleasant antidote to the summer heat.

You’d truly picked the best day for a picnic.

Despite spending a good amount of time with your partner, the last month and a half had truly felt like a whirlwind. You casually started looking for a forever home, found yourselves making plans for an early retirement, and you had a new, sneaking suspicion that a proposal was on the horizon.

In the midst of it all, Steve had suggested that the two of you take a midday tryst at your local park and throw yourselves a little picnic. Of course you obliged, because when your greek god of a boyfriend suggests going on a spur of the moment date, you agree.

You now watched the nearly cloudless sky with pure, unadulterated feelings of content and joy while Steve set a slice of cheese on a cracker, leaning over your body to feed you. As you opened your mouth, Steve paused abruptly at the soft vibration coming from his pocket.

Steve resumed as if nothing had changed, popping the cracker into your open mouth and letting his phone continue to ring.

“Don’t you wanna get that?” you questioned.

“It can wait,” Steve stated nonchalantly, slipping his phone out of his pocket and pressing decline with absolutely no hesitation before tossing the device to the edge of your blanket.

You didn’t realize how long you’d been waiting to hear those three words.

-------

a/n: this could’ve been solved in like 20 minutes by sitting down and taking a love language quiz together

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x you #steve rogers x y/n #chris evans x reader #chris evans x you #avengers fanfiction #steve rogers fluff #steve rogers fanfiction #captain america x reader #captain america x you

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thecinematicalgorithm · 3 years

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10 Reasons Why Zekaela Should Be Endgame (And Jachaela Should Not) - Part Two

Here is part two of my Zekaela endgame argument as promised. Beware of potential spoilers and enjoy.

5. They Communicate Well

Many argue that the key to a healthy relationship is communication. If a couple has an issue how can it be resolved unless they communicate? It’s easy to shut someone out when you don’t think they will understand, or you don’t trust them, or you’re afraid for whatever reason. Because Zeke and Michaela understand and trust each other they are able to communicate well, even about issues that are hard to talk about. Communication takes honesty and vulnerability, and something that many fail to realize, it also requires the ability to listen. Though Zeke takes time to open up to Michaela he never lies to her. He told her about his drug and alcohol addictions, his assault charge, his relationship with Courtney. There have been a few instances when they didn’t agree with one another but instead of becoming a deal breaker they were able to work through and resolve the issues with communication.

Michaela often shuts Jared out because she does not think he will understand or agree with her on her callings. Oftentimes, Jared does not listen to Michaela and even acts against her wishes. If he had truly listened to her and given her the space she needed he may have stood a better chance of rebuilding their relationship, and she would not have gotten shot either. In reality, Jared not listening to Michaela when she communicated her needs to him is what pushed Zeke and Michaela toward leaning on one another.

4. They Don’t Get Carried Away By Jealousy

There are many instances when Zeke and Michaela could be jealous of each other, and at times are, but instead choose to look past it. Michaela allowed Courtney to shelter with them despite her being Zeke’s ex-wife (though apparently not legally). Zeke has shown some discomfort with Jared and it’s not hard to see why. However, neither of them takes it out on the other. They don’t try to sabotage their partner’s relationship with the object of their jealousy and they even show understanding over why that relationship is important to their partner.

Jared is the complete opposite on this point. I really don’t think I need to elaborate. Mick literally got shot because of Jared’s jealousy.

3. They Put Each Other First

Zeke and Michaela are couple goals much of the time because they know how to put the other first. This demonstrates true, selfless love. There are so many instances of this quality in each of their characters. Michaela putting her job and relationship with Jared at risk simply to break Zeke out of jail. Zeke putting his life at risk to stay beside Michaela. Michaela putting her fears aside and marrying Zeke so that he could have the memory of their love rather than the memory of a desperate clinging to treatments in a sterile hospital. Zeke following Michaela’s lead and trusting in her decisions. They love each other so much that they are willing to overlook their own immediate needs or desires in order to make sure that the other is happy, because in short their partner’s joy brings them joy.

Jared often refuses to put Michaela first if it does not favor his desires. He could not give her space because he wanted to be closer to her. He could not let go of his vendetta against Zeke. He resents her for following her callings despite how they might save her life. This is not selfless love. It is possessive love.

2. They Are Married

I cannot tell you how tired I am of Hollywood and entertainment making something as sincere and binding as a marriage so light and wishy-washy as if there aren’t enough divorces in real life. In today’s society marriage is not given the level of gravity and sincerity as it should be. Marriage should never be entered into lightly and it should not be so easily disintegrated. Despite the speed in which Zeke and Michaela got married the writer’s insured that there was a weight to the decision. It was given thought and both characters understood what was at stake. And when Zeke beat his death date the two were thrilled at the idea of “growing ancient” together. Michaela’s statement to Grace on how she couldn’t wait to “be on the other side” of the death date with Zeke shows that both want a lasting marriage. They want to spend their lives together, grow old together, make mistakes together. Their vows also demonstrated this with Zeke vowing to love Michaela as long as his life allows, and Michaela vowing to fight for their lives together for as long as they both shall live. Both kept that time stamp open-ended because both hoped it could be far longer than one day. Also Michaela’s sadness of her brother’s dilemma in his marriage and her immediate remorse over her affair with Jared and having destroyed another woman’s (her best friend’s to boot) marriage shows that she understands the importance of marriage vows and the ugliness of divorce and I am sure she would not want to go through that in her own marriage.

Jared has demonstrated twice how easily he overlooks the importance of marriage and marriage vows. He cheated on his own wife, and no matter how you justify it being with Michaela, it was still cheating and he still broke whatever vows he made. He showed very little remorse over it and didn’t fight for his marriage at all. Then he told Michaela in the season 3 finale that he only stood by and watched her marry Zeke (which he didn’t since we all saw him leave before the ceremony anyway) because Zeke would be gone soon. As if marriage to Michaela was a bone to throw to the poor dying man before he could have his chance to step in and have her to himself. He showed no thought in how this would have hurt Michaela to have been a widow so soon, and he did not hesitate in making his confession despite knowing the strain it might put on Zeke and Michaela’s marriage. I hope to God that the show writer’s will surprise us and show Zeke and Michaela work through even this obstacle only to come out in an even better and stronger marriage. They’ve shown us they can handle a good marriage with Ben and Grace, so hopefully they keep it up.

1. The Callings Brought Them Together

Lastly, the Callings, or whatever the entity behind them is, brought Zeke and Michaela together. The two were resurrected. They received callings that led them to find one another. They found a petrograph that showed their experience together. They received some of the same callings that led them to work together and hence grow closer. The callings ensured they got married when Michaela feared they were missing out on an opportunity to save Zeke’s life. If this is not the universe screaming out that they belong together I don’t know what is.

However, the first thing that the Callings did in order to insure that Michaela ended up with Zeke was separating Michaela from Jared in the first place. Indeed the Callings have actually managed to drive a wedge between the two on top of the already complicated nature of their relationship. Why go through this whole predestined story line only to go “Sike! She ends up with Jared anyways.” Not making Zekaela endgame would make everything that’s happened between these three characters completely pointless.

At the end of the day the story is in the hands of the writers. They have a plan and goal in mind. It’s impossible to tell what route they will go. However, the relationship of Jared with Michaela and Zeke with Michaela since season 1 has shown time and again that Jared does not have a healthy or selfless love for Michaela, but Zeke does. Every Jachaela worshiper always argues that there is too much chemistry and history between them for them to not be endgame, but relationships are so much more than chemistry. You can have chemistry with many people in life but that doesn’t mean you should end up with them. And oftentimes history can be toxic and unproductive which is shown with Jared not being able to let Michaela go or give her space. I don’t go running back to my exes all day long simply because we have chemistry and history. Oftentimes, history is enough to get you running away as we’ve seen Michaela do. So without their chemical history what do they really have?

Well Team Zekaela I hope you enjoyed! I will be going into Manifest Season 4 with hopes that the writers don’t sink our beautiful ship. Please share your thoughts and look out for future posts about Manifest, Zekaela and more!

#manifest nbc #zekaela #zeke landon #michaela stone #matt long #melissa roxburgh #jared vasquez #jr ramirez

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patchofsunlight · 4 years

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Hands | Bakugou Katsuki x Fem!Reader

SUMMARY: Bakugou learned from a young age to keep his hands to himself, even when his entire body longed for touch and his eyes filled with tears at the loss of a comforting habit.

WORD COUNT: 2.4k

WARNINGS: hurt/comfort, angst, touch starved bakugou!!, kind of a character study? i think about him a lot, one kiss, cursing, consensual hand holding (PFFFT), mitsuki fucking sucks but what’s new

I hope you like this!! please remember feedback is always appreciated and all that. thank you for reading!! sorry if it sucks LMAO I DID MY BEST AND I KINDA LIKE IT

When he was a child, before he even cared about quirks or rankings or strength, Bakugou Katsuki loved holding hands.

No one knew exactly why, but that was just something he liked. He would hold Izuku’s hand while they talked and ran around the neighborhood, he would take his teacher's hand in his ever so softly whenever he walked over to their desk to ask a question. Katsuki would latch onto his dad with the most loving, tiny grip he could muster, and he would even interlace pinkies with his mom when she was having a good day and didn’t deem his manners “too soft”, “too weak”, “too foolish”. Those were nice days in the Bakugou household.

Bakugou Katsuki was five years old when he had his heart broken for the first time. It was a few weeks after his quirk manifested and he was just so excited to play hero (with a quirk, this time!) alongside his friends after school that he didn’t even hesitate before grabbing Izuku’s hand exactly like he always did, jumping up and down with energy and happiness, rambling about how he was gonna be the number one hero one day — until Izuku screamed, pulling his hand away with a painful expression. Katsuki furrowed his eyebrows, confused at his best friend’s antics, and then he saw it: the raw, burned flesh of his palm.

Katsuki had hurt his best friend.

It’s very easy to fix objects, his dad used to tell him while stitching up one of his ripped shirts, you just get a bit of glue or yarn and you put it back together, a smile graced his lips at the feeling of his son taking his hand immediately after he let go of the sewing needle, but people are a lot harder to patch up, Katsu. People can’t be fixed, sometimes.

He wasn’t exactly sure of when he started shoving his hands inside his pockets, when he started opening doors with his feet and touching people with his shoulders to get their attention. It took him a while to understand that that first occasion wasn’t an accident, and that controlling his quirk when he got too excited or just overly happy was too hard and the security he got from all those tender touches he so eagerly searched from everyone in his life wasn’t worth the risk. The best thing Katsuki could do, for himself and for others, was to keep his hands to himself, even if they felt cold and empty and his big red eyes filled with tears at the loss of such a comforting habit.

He told himself it didn’t matter. You’d have to overgrow that over time, anyway, his mom reminded him at some point. Such childish, silly bullshit. Only softies hold hands, Katsuki, and we both know you’re not a softie.

It was easy to pretend he didn’t miss it. After a few years, the lack of touch was simply another part of his life he consciously chose to ignore, another longing he conditioned himself not to think about. It wasn’t like many people noted his abrupt change in behavior either — there were other things about him that were much more worthy of attention than that, like his killer quirk and quick brain, like his determination and ambition. Who cared about the fact that little Bakugou Katsuki didn’t want to hold hands anymore? Who cared about the fact that little touchy and clingy Bakugou Katsuki now barely touched others?

Such childish, silly bullshit. Only softies hold hands, Katsuki, and we both know you’re not a softie.

He met her during his second year at UA. Y/N was mostly quiet, but still friendly and hardworking, fighting hard for her place as the number one student in Class 2-B. A project involving the two classes put them as partners, and project meetings soon became sparring sessions that turned into study group that led to study dates and then real dates and, by the beginning of his senior year, Katsuki had gotten himself a girlfriend.

He wasn’t certain if she noticed the way he purposely kept his hands out of reach when they walked side by side, or if she ever saw how he always made sure his palms were pointing away from her skin whenever they hugged or cuddled. He didn’t think anyone would ever pay enough attention to him to the point of perceiving his hesitancy. It didn’t matter that Bakugou had gained complete control of his quirk, it didn’t matter that he still felt his skin and his hands tingling with the urge, the craving for touch — the satisfaction wasn’t worth the risk, not the stupid satisfaction he didn’t even need. Such childish, silly bullshit. Bakugou Katsuki was doing very well with letting go of old customs, no doubt.

But Y/N noticed. God, of course she did — she noticed all the longing gazes, all the small flinches. She noticed how he never let his hands touch hers and at first it made her worried. Didn’t he want to touch her? Had she done something wrong? Her boyfriend wasn’t the best at communicating his feelings, even though he had been putting in the effort to talk to her whenever he felt a bit under the weather or bothered.

However, this seemed like a bigger problem, like something he would never speak of unless she brought it up. It seemed deeper.

“Katsu?”

He lifted his scarlet eyes from the book in his hands and turned them to her sitting figure. They were both on his bed, despite curfew starting in less than an hour and the knowledge they shouldn’t be alone in his dorm. To be honest, Aizawa was quite used to watching the Class B girl sneak out of his student’s room every other night, wearing one of his many hoodies and those shorts that she always left in his closet. As long as they weren’t causing him any trouble, Eraserhead didn’t cause them any trouble, either.

“Yeah?” his voice was clearly tired after a day full of training and studying, a hint of sleepiness dripping from his tone.

“How come you never let me hold your hand?”

Katsuki froze on the spot, feeling his heart pick up its pace until it was beating so loud he could hear it by his ear, throbbing. He gulped harshly, sweat immediately gathering up on his hands from his own anxiety. She had noticed?

“What do you mean?” he tried to laugh calmly, but his chuckle sounded forced and nervous. He put the book away.

“You never let me hold your hand,” Y/N’s cheeks were tinted red with shyness. She had been pondering on how to talk to him about this for days now, yet seeing him so flustered made her surprisingly tense. “You avoid touching me with your hands in general, actually,” her chuckle sounded as forced and nervous as his, “is… Is there something wrong? Would you feel better if I stopped touching you so much? Does it make you uncomfortable? Because I really don’t want to make you uncomfortable, Katsu. You can talk to me about things like that, you know it.”

He couldn’t get himself to answer, unable to move or truly process her words. He really thought he had been slick, huh? He really thought she’d never notice, he really thought she’d never care. How would she feel if he told her he was afraid to hurt her, that he was afraid he would lose control of his quirk and burn her somehow, like he had done with Izuku all those years ago? Would she think he was childish and silly, too? Such childish, silly bullshit, Bakugou Katsuki scared of holding hands with his girlfriend, scared of touching her and holding her like she deserved to because what if it went wrong? What if he fucked it up? The best thing Katsuki could do, for himself and for others, was to keep his hands to himself, even if they felt cold and empty and his big red eyes filled with tears at the loss of such a comforting habit.

People are a lot harder to patch up, his father told him. He didn’t want to be guilty of screwing this up, didn’t want to destroy the relationship he cherished so, so much. Would she think he was weak for being this reluctant? Would she laugh at his stupid antics and tell him to grow up and stop being such a softie? Would she get mad? Should he even tell her?

“Katsu?” her soft voice relaxed his muscles like it habitually did, and he sighed deeply before meeting her worried eyes. “Talk to me?”

Y/N had always had this amazing talent of making him feel at ease. Ever since they met, so many months ago, she had this blinding quality that urged him to be quieter, calmer, less defensive. She didn’t even have to try tearing down his walls — they simply melted away when she smiled at him for the first time. He had never really talked about this issue with anyone else before, and he didn’t know how to even start, but Y/N made him want to try. Still, the words felt heavy on his tongue.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he muttered so quietly that she leaned in to hear him, furrowing her eyebrows in disagreement.

“Come on, Katsu. Please?”

He inhaled deeply. She stared patiently, waiting for him to organize his own thoughts enough to explain the thousands of things running through his mind. When his eyes met hers again, he felt warm all over. Katsuki loved the way she looked at him — there was no fear, no ulterior interest, no nonsensical admiration. She looked at him and she saw… Katsuki. Just that. And, strangely, that seemed enough.

The boy averted his eyes from hers. “I don’t want to hurt you with my quirk.”

Oh. Oh? That, well, that was definitely unexpected. The crease in Y/N’s eyebrows deepened.

“Why would you ever hurt me, Katsuki?”

The future hero lifted his head to look at her instantly, confusion swimming in his red gaze as he answered, “I mean by accident, Y/N. I—,” he almost stopped himself right there, yet her expression caused him to continue, “I really liked holding hands when I was younger, you know? With my friends, teachers, family, and all that,” his ears were bright pink with embarrassment that subsided when she smiled softly at the new information, “it made me feel safe or whatever. Then I—then I got my quirk and, sometimes, when I held hands with people it just—,” he exhaled heavily before letting out a sad, defeated laugh, “I have burned a nasty amount of people. I don’t want to do that with you, too. I’d never want to hurt you.”

Katsuki was hardly a vulnerable person. He tried to be, yes, because he wanted this to work and for it to work he had to meet her halfway somehow during certain moments, but it was so, so difficult. It was so difficult for him to open up and talk about one of his biggest insecurities of all time, about one of the things he most craved for. He didn’t want to scare her away.

“Katsuki.” Her tone was serious and she stared at him with such intensity that he lost the ability to breathe for a second. “I understand where you’re coming from, but that’s bullshit.”

Bakugou blinked. “What?”

“You’d never hurt me, okay? I know you wouldn’t. I trust you, Katsu, so much. I’m sorry I didn’t ask you about this before,” she bit her lip thoughtfully while he could only stand there, dumbfounded with her reaction.

Out of all his imagined worst-case scenarios, this was a surprise.

“Katsu,” the girl called to him again, smiling lovingly in that way that made his world spin in its axis when they first met, “do you trust me too?”

“Of course I do,” there was no hesitation this time. Of course he did.

“Can I touch your hands?”

Once again, he froze on the spot. She looked at him expectantly.

People are a lot harder to patch up. She was trying, though. She was really trying to fix the ripped pieces of himself he tried to bury under anger and seclusion, pretending there was nothing wrong and that this was just how things were supposed to be.

Bakugou looked down at his own hands, studying them carefully. With a last shaky exhale, he nodded.

She took his hands in hers, letting her fingers interlace with his cautiously so as to not startle him. Her thumb caressed his palm ever so softly and he fought the instinctive flinch that threatened to push her away. After years without it, this type of touch felt too intimate, too close, too new.

He liked it.

He smiled.

“See? Nothing to worry about.” Y/N smiled back, grinning when he took it upon himself to squeeze her hand in appreciation. “You’re fine, Katsuki. I like holding your hand.”

His smile grew wider and he leaned in to kiss her, living for the feeling of her fingers squeezing his while their lips moved slowly. They had kissed a million times before, yet this felt different. If given the chance, Katsuki probably wouldn’t mind being stuck in that moment forever, with her lips on his and his hands on hers — Y/N had melted away all his walls and defenses from the start, and he was incredibly glad. He was incredibly glad for her.

His heart was beating fast inside his chest, especially when she pulled one of his hands up slightly to let it cup her face. A shiver went down his spine as he felt the curve of her jaw under his fingertips, the softness of her skin touching his. When there was not any air left in their lungs, they parted from each other. She turned her face to kiss his palm affectionately and his entire face seemed to burst with love and gratitude.

“I like holding your hand, too.”

She giggled, and, for the first time, Bakugou felt like it’d be alright if he decided not to keep his hands to himself. Such childish, silly bullshit, waiting around when he could’ve been holding hands this whole time.

A/N: so that was it!!! i hope you liked it!!! hehe hello

taglists

all: @kiedhara @wingeddemonclub @thedemigodsarealivebitch @ray-ofmoonlight

also tagging @tsuhika bc i am: a fan and you gave us permission to tag you in shit SOO KJSFBIUEFB LMAO SORRY

#bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugo katsuki x reader #bakugou x reader #bakugou katsuki #bnha x reader #bnha #mha #mha x reader

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rivalsforlife · 3 years

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Phoenix Wright: The Truth Reborn: Oh No We’re Doing This Again

hi.

Nearly two months ago, I wrote an essay summarizing and making very wild conclusions about the second Takarazuka Musical. I did this about two and a half years after watching the first Takarazuka musical. As such I did not have the full context for many things from the musical and was relying mostly on my memory, which blocked many things from this musical for my own safety. However, just this week, I decided to rewatch it, because I enjoy tormenting myself. I said I wouldn’t write anything on it. Here I am writing something on it.

Here’s the youtube thumbnail so that you know what you’re getting yourself into. And here, of course, is the link. This is the HD version which may be slightly more pleasant to watch. Maybe.

It was not quite as cringe in a funny way as the second musical to me, and therefore this essay may be less funny, but I feel like I’m doing a disservice to people by providing a summary of the second musical while completely neglecting the first. Quite possibly doing this is even more of a disservice. I just eagerly await the day that the third musical is translated because *that* will be the day that I finally shuffle off this mortal coil. Either way, I want to write this stuff down so that I never have to watch the musical again out of curiosity.

The following essay will contain major spoilers for both the first and second Phoenix Wright Takarazuka musicals, as I will be using many points from this musical to argue my thesis of the second musical. ... like you were going to watch them anyways.

This one broke 8k. I’m dead inside.

Introducing The Director

Again another disclaimer that I don’t have anything against the actresses or the theatre troupe. I DO have something against Suzuki Kei, who I recently learned is the writer and director of all three of the Ace Attorney Takarazuka musicals, and is quite possibly my mortal nemesis.

This man is the one who brought this monstrosity into the world.

This man, allegedly, cleared the first four ace attorney games *seven times* before sitting down to write these musicals. He played these goddamn games seven times and did not take in a single word. The man clicked through them mindlessly while watching a badly written legal romance drama in the background and got them completely confused. I genuinely have no idea how this man could have played these games more times than even me and yet managed to get so many characters (MAYA!!!!) completely and utterly wrong. This haunts me every day, truly.

This man played Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney, Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney - Justice for All, Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney - Trials and Tribulations, and Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney seven times. SEVEN TIMES EACH!! and was told to create a musical based on the series. He played these games seven times each and you know what he said?? You know what he said?? “This sucks, I’m getting rid of all of Phoenix’s backstory, butchering half the characters, and writing Phoenix/Lana fanfiction, but also rewriting all of Lana’s backstory so that she was Phoenix’s childhood friend, and you know what, I’m changing her name for good measure.”

I think this man played the games seven times each and then hated it so much and was so sick of it he tried to write something that destroyed as much of the series as possible while still being vaguely recognizable. And then somehow it became a massive hit because people like me see this and go “what the actual hell” and watch it, or people who haven’t played the games see this and go “wow what a great musical!” and then he wrote TWO MORE, destroying EVEN MORE every time in his wake, until finally, finally, he stopped after making Edgeworth straight and time traveling into the past to face off against a corrupt Gregory. I guess that was the last straw.

I have to issue a disclaimer here that for legal reasons this is a joke. I don’t actually hate this man and would not punch him in the face if I met him because that would be rude, and he is entitled to his wrong interpretation of the games. I don’t know what his thought process was. But allegedly he did play the games seven times according to the wiki. This whole essay here is satire and not slander and I don’t want to offend this guy if he somehow stumbles across my nonsense tumblr post. At the same time: Suzuki Kei blink twice if you need help.

Anyways half the reason that I’m making this essay is because I want to share my fake ao3 page for this musical. The other half will become apparent later.

Sorry if that’s illegible because of tumblr quality it’s not really important. All you really need to know is that it’s a fake ao3 screenshot for the musical. Also in the author’s note I said he played the games four times but it was actually seven I just remembered wrong because I didn’t want to believe it.

at this point you may be like “Grace shut up and get to the actual musical” and okay, fine, let’s start this nonsense. Also note that I may be referencing things from my essay on the second musical very frequently; I’m not going to force you to go read that though because the fact that you’re reading this is enough of a torment already.

The Musical Begins

Unlike the second musical, this one opens with some narration from Phoenix.

Transcript:

Phoenix: I’m reviewing a particular case at the moment. To me, this case... is one I’ll never forget.

Immediately I think this is important because it establishes that this whole musical takes place in a flashback that Phoenix is reflecting on. Why is this important? Because we know, by the time of the second musical which takes place three years later, Leona is dead.

Knowing that Leona is inherently doomed to die of her Sad Woman Disease paints this whole musical in a different light. It’s not Phoenix reflecting on how he got back together with his lover; it’s Phoenix dwelling on their past together, and the opportunities they had, before her life was so cruelly and inexplicably taken away. We don’t know if Phoenix’s reminiscing takes place before or after Leona’s death... but I wouldn’t be surprised if it was after.

Phoenix, still in the present, starts to sing. “A wave appears on the horizon like a mirage, it trembles, then vanishes. Your voice, carried upon the waves, fades upon the shore, erasing the splendor of the past.”

This line actually shows up in the second musical, sung by Lucia about her imprisoned fiance quite possibly. It’s kind of hard to tell what the meaning of these songs even are. They’re too abstract for me I think. But this line appears very frequently in the first musical when Phoenix is thinking about Leona.

Then we enter the flashback time.

Phoenix inexplicably yells at a newspaper saleswoman. This is not relevant to anything whatsoever. Then Larry barges in to the office, looking for Maya. Phoenix describes him as “A real trouble maker, but you just can’t hate the guy”, the latter part of which I think many people would disagree with.

Well, afterwards, Maya comes in. Phoenix describes her like this while making exaggerated “can you believe this shit” gestures.

Transcript:

Phoenix: She’s as ditzy as they come. Oh, and about the outfit... Apparently she comes from a family of spirit mediums. Try not to make fun of her, okay?

Suzuki Kei personally has it out for Maya and I can never forgive him for it. Maya in these musicals is here for pure comedic relief but it’s not even comedic because I just get so angry. How can you play the trilogy seven times and think this about her?? The girl who figured out DL-6?? The girl who told Phoenix to sacrifice her life in order to find the truth?? The girl who put on a brave smile in order to try and cheer up her younger cousin even after she saw her own mother murdered right in front of her eyes?? That Maya Fey?? Ditzy as they come??????

Ugh. Moving on.

Maya and Larry run off, leaving Phoenix to watch the American Broadcast.

Important things to note here are the Godot mug, the little line up of what I think are the messed up little ace attorney figurines beneath the screen, and the fact that while this broadcast is supposedly from and to America the screen is actually not at all showing America. Like literally almost everywhere in the world except North and South America.

The broadcast says that Leona Clyde, age 24, was arrested for murdering the senator Robert Cole! Leona Clyde -- that’s Phoenix’s ex-girlfriend! He runs off to the detention center.

She is not happy to see him.

Leona: Mr. Wright... I’m not the woman you once knew.

Let’s Play A Matching Game

Sorry for the abundance of screenshots that are going to be throughout this section. Phoenix convinces Leona to let him defend her. Some of the conversation seems... familiar.

Leona: No one would defend someone who admits to killing a senator. I’m waiting for a court-appointed attorney.

Edgeworth: Every defense attorney I’ve talked to has turned me down.

Phoenix: In that case, let me defend you.

Game Phoenix: Let me defend you.

Leona: Don’t be ridiculous!

Edgeworth: Don’t be ridiculous.

Phoenix: I’ll never accept that you’re a murderer. Let me prove your innocence!

Game Phoenix: Huh? Isn’t it obvious? I’m going to prove that Miles Edgeworth is innocent.

Leona: I’ve already confessed my guilt.

Gumshoe: He confessed that he did it! In court!

Leona: It’s foolish to think you can win this case.

Edgeworth: My case is near hopeless, Wright.

Leona: (in response to phoenix offering to defend her) No you won’t! Don’t ever come here again.

Edgeworth: Look, just go away, and leave me alone!

Phoenix: You of all people should know. Once I decide to do something, I see it through to the end.

Edgeworth: Once you start on something, you always see it through, don’t you?

Leona: I never thought that you’d be representing me.

Phoenix: Ah, who could have guessed this day would come?

Edgeworth: Not me.

Phoenix: You believed in me. You saved me. And this time, I swear... I swear I’ll save you!

Game Phoenix: Edgeworth believed in me, and I believe in him. I’m the only one who knows the real Edgeworth. I’m the only one who can help him.

I could’ve done a few more, but tumblr is already threatening to murder my laptop.

So long story short, Phoenix manages to convince his lover to let him be the defense on the case. Then immediately after swearing to save Leona, he starts singing a song, which I’m not screencapping because this is enough:

“As long as there are people in this world, there’s only one path I will follow! As long as there is love in this world, there’s only one path I will believe in!”

Edgeworth sings this in the second musical after saying that he returned to California because of Phoenix. Phoenix sings it now after swearing to defend Leona. You draw your own conclusions.

And then we finally get the opening credits. Eleven minutes in.

Just Pretend This Is Narumitsu Fanfiction

Following the credits, we see a beautiful beach. Couples (exclusively heterosexual, of course,) dance and embrace in the background for some time, before revealing Phoenix and Leona, in the Even Further Past, before the LSATs or whatever the ace attorney universe’s excuse for law school exams are.

Phoenix establishes his absolute hatred of change, an important characterization moment.

Phoenix: The view here never changes, huh?

Phoenix reminisces on when they were kids. Leona’s parents were both lawyers (they’re both lawyers) and sometimes they would be like lawyers with her when she was a kid. This inspired her to also become a lawyer after their tragic death of Sickness. They never specify what the sickness is that caused two people who must be relatively young to die while Leona was in her early twenties at the latest. It may be whatever sickness claimed Leona’s life later. Sad Woman Disease. (Sad Man Disease for her father, I guess?)

Phoenix also talks about why he’s becoming a lawyer.

Phoenix: Watching you chase your dream inspired me to become a lawyer too.

So, it’s not “my childhood friend looked sad in a newspaper” because I guess that makes no sense or is too gay or something. But this is another important piece of Phoenix characterization. His entire life so far has been focused around Leona. They’ve been friends since they were kids, and then Phoenix decided to become a lawyer solely because Leona was becoming a lawyer. Not even to try and get back into contact with her after she moved away or anything; just because he’s so obsessed with her that he wants to have the same career as her, then they can run a Mom & Pop Law Firm or something, years in the future, after years of happy marriage and a few children or like whatever the hell.

Well, there’s a few steps they’ll need to get to that. At this point Phoenix still hasn’t confessed his feelings for Leona. He does so here, on this beach.

Leona tries to protest.

Leona: But I’m pushy, selfish, and only care about my goals... You’d get fed up with me.

Phoenix: That’s what I’ve always admired about you. That’s who I’ve been chasing all these years. That’s the only person... I love.

Sooo, Phoenix, your type is pushy selfish people who only care about their goals...? In the first, older lower-quality video translation it was “only care about my work”, too. Hm. Things to think about.

They sing a little duet together. Then we go back to present-day of what’s technically still a flashback. Whatever. Murder is happening.

Back To The Murder

So some plot things to establish: Leona is the legal counsel of Governor Miller, who is running for president in the AMERICAN PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION. After the flashback so that Phoenix has some time to change clothes, they show an interview of him talking about the murder.

Governor Miller: I vow to forge a peaceful country with my own two hands, and to prepare myself for whatever may lie ahead.

Reporters: Through thick and thin, he’s a friend of the people!

The Takarazuka musicals are not very good at hiding their killers.

Phoenix: Oh yeah... It’s almost time for the presidential election, isn’t it?

NEVER FORGET, WRIGHT. THIS IS AMERICA. LAND OF THE FREE! god what even was that line.

Anyways, we meet Gumshoe, who is incompetent once again. Maya runs around the crime scene, picks up the murder weapon, puts her fingerprints all over everything, moves things around, all while Phoenix is like “lol get a load of the world’s stupidest girl” or whatever. But who cares about that.

It’s time to get to the only valid part of this musical.

Edgeworth’s Gay Little Villain Solo

You may have seen this one before.

Edgeworth arrives, but not really. It’s like Phoenix heard Edgeworth was prosecuting and immediately entered a dream-like state, where Edgeworth is heralded by the sound of trumpets in Great Revival. He’s played by a different actress than in the other two musicals, since I think she retired in between the six or so months from this musical to the second. She still plays the role well, though, or as well as can be when you’re written in an ace attorney Takarazuka musical.

Shrouded in scarlet solitude... it’s Edgeworth.

Yes, those are six Edgeworths. Yes, they pick Phoenix up and carry him around and dance with him. Yes, it was probably not meant to be at all homoerotic.

He sings a song that’s called “My rule”. I only figured this out later, but it’s loosely based on a “catchphrase” of his in the Japanese version - in game 1 he says something along the lines of “All I can do is get every defendant declared guilty! So I make that my policy.” In DD in his dramatic anime introduction before the trial, he says “I intend to question the defendant with all I have. For that is a part of my creed.” “So I make that my policy” and “For that is a part of my creed”, to my understanding, are both translated from the same line, which I think is like, “sore ga watashi no ruru”, “That is my rule.” (If I’m wrong, please correct me.) In this song he sings about how he’ll reduce all criminals to ash and such, basically talks about his game 1 prosecuting strategy as “my rule”.

It’s very fun and probably if you want to only watch one number of this musical, it can be this one. It starts about 26:10 in the video I linked.

Once the musical number is done, Phoenix and Edgeworth stare at each other, and the background fades into the courtroom, so court begins. I feel like I should note that Phoenix has not picked up any evidence or talked to any witnesses in this investigation except for Gumshoe, since Maya just moved some things around and then Phoenix had some weird fever dream about Edgeworth which presumably took up the rest of the day.

The Trial, Day 1

Edgeworth: Consider it a prelude to the poignant Greek tragedy that’s about to unfold.

Maya: The real tragedy’s your pompous attitude!

Those are the only screenshots I took of this trial day. Here’s a summary, though:

The trial starts off with Leona confessing, Phoenix says “no I think she’s innocent”, and since ace attorney doesn’t care about the defendant’s wishes he’s allowed to proceed. For some reason Leona lets him do this without complaint.

Gumshoe is the first witness, he claims to have caught Leona red-handed at the scene of the crime, standing over the corpse. Phoenix tries to claim that since Gumshoe didn’t see Leona committing the crime, he didn’t actually catch her red-handed, to which Edgeworth responds “What do you think being caught red-handed means?”

Once Gumshoe is dismissed, Lotta takes the stand. She has a photo of the actual moment of the crime, where Leona is holding a knife in the air in front of the victim.

The Takarazuka musicals like to do this thing where the image is blurry and zoomed out, but then Phoenix will go “I’VE NOTICED A CONTRADICTION” and it zooms in really far as the resolution increases drastically in order to show you the contradiction that is impossible to spot for yourself, because they don’t want people figuring out the mystery in this musical based off of a video game where you have to solve the mystery yourself. Anyways Phoenix zooms in on this photo and sees that there’s blood on Leona’s hand, presumably before she stabbed the victim. How did it get there?

Edgeworth suggests the victim was stabbed multiple times. Phoenix says the autopsy report contradicts that. Edgeworth, uncharacteristically, does not update it to suit his argument.

Phoenix concludes that this photo is not showing the moment Leona stabbed the victim, but the moment Leona removed the knife! ... Which somehow casts doubt on her having been the one to stab the victim. Because as everyone knows, anyone wanting to kill someone would never remove a knife, it’s not like they’d bleed out faster that way, or anything.

And this whole contradiction is confusing because presumably if the victim was stabbed and then the knife was removed, they’d know that happened, because then the knife would not be found stuck in the victim’s body, since the victim was only stabbed once. So this shouldn’t be news to the prosecution that someone removed the knife after stabbing. But the investigation was headed by the most incompetent version of Gumshoe ever, so. sure. I guess no one knew.

That at least manages to extend the trial another day.

This Totally Has To Be Illegal

After the trial, Phoenix goes to talk to Governor Miller, aka Mr. Totally The Real Killer. Phoenix asks him why he decided to hire Leona as his legal advisor.

Basically, it’s because her parents were both renowned lawyers. Her father was a Chief Prosecutor, and her mother was a defense attorney. ... a prosecutor and a defense attorney couple... who does that remind us of...

Phoenix points out that just because her parents were good lawyers, it doesn’t mean she’d necessarily be one. Miller says that, sure, but she is actually really talented, and her law school marks were spectacular. Phoenix says “WHY WERE YOU LOOKING AT HER LAW SCHOOL MARKS”, like it’s somehow? suspicious? for a government official hiring legal counsel to look at their law school marks?

Apparently it IS suspicious because Governor Miller freaks out and asks if this is an interrogation. Before Phoenix can press much further, he gets a phone call, and leaves Phoenix alone in a big room.

So naturally Phoenix behaves like a fully grown adult running a law firm.

If all he did was sit in the chair, lift up a desk lamp, and poke his finger on a pen, that’s one thing. But then he leans over, OPENS THE GOVERNOR’S DESK DRAWER, and finds a knife that’s just sitting there casually. It looks like a butter knife. It’s not anything major. Maybe the dude just wanted to butter his toast?

I mean I know Phoenix will dig around in stuff whenever in the games, but he has no reason to suspect Governor Miller at all, much less dig through his drawer probably full of confidential government documents to lift up a knife that he thinks is suspicious. It’s not even covered in blood or anything?

Naturally Governor Miller’s assistant comes in just then, and Phoenix puts the knife. in his breast pocket.

bud. It may look like a butter knife, but putting knives up against your chest is not a great idea. Much less stealing a knife from a governor?

Well, in his panic, he accidentally knocks over a bunch of books on the desk. The governor’s assistant helps him pick them up, and they find a photo. Look a little familiar?

The photo has the assistant, the victim Robert Cole, Governor Miller, and the victim’s brother who died in an incident two years ago. He’s the “Neil Marshall” of this musical, and he died in what was essentially the SL-9 incident. Same general premise, except it occurred in the courthouse, and the names are different.

AND FINALLY WE REACH THE END OF ACT 1. They do a musical number here which is a weird sort of mashup of the main opening credits song, Edgeworth’s Villain Solo, and the love duet between Phoenix and Leona. They are all such different songs that it sounds a little weird.

ACT 2, FINALLY

The act begins on a sour note with Maya playing with the knife and showing off her characterization, which is one of the most infuriating Maya characterizations you’ll sometimes see around the fandom by people who don’t like Maya.

Maya: Let me whip up my special spirit channeler hamburgers!

sigh.

But then we’re saved (?) by the arrival of EDGEWORTH, who is presumably just here to chat. He asks Phoenix if he’s defending Leona in hopes of winning her back, then says to keep out of it, since it’s a very important case and he can’t understand the gravity of it.

Then Phoenix says this.

Phoenix: Would you be saying that if you were the one on trial? The defendant is in a dark prison, reaching out for hope... Can you imagine the loneliness and sorrow of being ostracized?

CAN YOU IMAGINE IT, EDGEWORTH? CAN YOU IMAGINE IF YOU WERE ON TRIAL AND I WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO WOULD DEFEND YOU AND BELIEVED IN YOUR INNOCENCE??

Edgeworth responds to this by essentially rehashing his speech in Turnabout Sisters about how he needs to find all defendants guilty because he can’t guarantee their innocence and all that. Maya gets upset and leaves so that Phoenix and Edgeworth can talk about their childhood in private.

Phoenix once again complains about how people change since nine years old.

Phoenix then says that he has something Edgeworth doesn’t: the POWER TO BELIEVE! Then Maya comes in and tries to spike Edgeworth’s coffee, so he leaves.

The Class Trial

Phoenix explains a bit about Edgeworth and his backstory to Maya. Namely, the class trial. Phoenix was accused of stealing lunch money, Edgeworth stood up for him, but instead of Larry, Leona stood up for him. I guess Suzuki Kei thought “oh the class trial, if Leona stood up for him, it would be so romantic, because she’s a woman, and he’s a man”, or something like that.

Edgeworth wanted to become a Great Lawyer Like His Father! But then he turned cold as ice.

Phoenix: His father got too deeply involved in a case... and paid for it with his life. Edgeworth saw him murdered. He was never the same again. I bet he couldn’t forgive the criminal.

Yeah I bet he couldn’t ever forgive the person he thought killed his father all these years, Phoenix. I bet he really hates that person, Phoenix. I bet he has nightmares about that person killing his father or something, Phoenix.

Phoenix: He vanished, then returned without his mercy or compassion. He had become a monster. When he lost his father, he also lost the ability to believe in others.

So like... one of the most chilling things about this musical is that they never actually solve DL-6. This probably roughly takes place 15 years after DL-6, since they were about the same age when the class trial started, and at least Leona is 24 now. The next musical takes place three years from now, and in it, Edgeworth refers to von Karma as his mentor, implying he’s still around and doing things.

So, in addition to everything else going wrong with this musical, DL-6 still happens, but von Karma never frames Edgeworth for it fifteen years later. The statute of limitations runs out, and von Karma forever gets away with his crime. And Edgeworth has no idea.

What changes did they make to DL-6, though, you may ask? I’m desperate to know as well. In the third musical, which I’ve watched because I hate myself but am unable to fully understand because I don’t know much Japanese, there is a scene where Miles flashbacks to DL-6. It’s abstract, but he makes gun-throwing motions at Gregory, followed by a gunshot sound.

Therefore, in this musical’s internal canon, either Miles Edgeworth shot his father, or he believes he did for the rest of his life.

... moving on.

Phoenix: But he still has his humanity. It’s still there, deep down inside!

At least, if nothing else, Phoenix still believes in him. Even this Takarazuka Musical couldn’t touch that.

The Feenie Sweater

Right after this, Larry barges in, and Phoenix leaves him alone with Maya. The musical tries teasing Larry/Maya, but fortunately, Maya’s having none of it.

Maya: You’re barking up the wrong tree.

Props to this musical for not being as bad as it could have been.

After this, the two sit down on the couch, and Maya asks for more gossip on Phoenix and Leona. Larry launches into a story, which turns into a flashback that ends up being narrated by Phoenix halfway through. This one’s about Phoenix and Leona’s relationship.

This is an interesting line in here, “I’ll guide you to the future”, for it loosely referencing the sort of love ballad Phoenix sings with Lucia in the second musical which is about “I’ll take you to that radiant future”, and he later sings to the memory of Leona right around the time of his big spiral into despair.

I’m sorry if you haven’t read my other essay and just said “wait what” to what I just typed.

Leona was getting ready to move to New York to defend the weak “in the big city”. This is rather strange wording because it implies that California does not in fact have a big city. She says some things in her conversation with Phoenix that probably plant some of his later issues.

Leona: This is the first time we’ll be apart since we were kids.

Leona: We promised we’d always be together.

Leona: I’ll be waiting. Waiting for you to come to me.

Haha. Sure would be a shame... if something were to happen... and they wouldn’t be able to be together anymore...

So some dancers wearing black come in and take off their outer jackets, to symbolize the passage of time. They circle around Phoenix and Leona. In this, you can just barely see, Phoenix is wearing a pink sweater beneath his jacket.

“Oh,” I think to myself, “Is that the Feenie sweater? Are they including it here as a reference to the games?”

Then the dancers keep moving.

THAT IS NOT THE FEENIE SWEATER. That is a pink sweater with a sexily drawn woman on it.

This is the other half of the reason why I decided to go through with making this essay.

This is so incredibly funny to me. Suzuki Kei Who Has Played The Games Seven Times has seen the hand-knit bright pink sweater with a giant red heart on it seven times. The sweater Iris, Phoenix’s girlfriend, lovingly knit for him that he wears all the time even though it is one of the tackiest, cheesiest items of clothing to ever exist. And so, when the costume designers were designing the clothes for College Phoenix Wright, they asked themselves: “Should we include the Feenie sweater?”

and “NO,” someone must have shouted, “NO, we can NOT include the Feenie sweater, it is PINK and it has a HEART on it and it’s TOO GIRLY. Phoenix Wright is a MANLY MAN. He would not EVER wear something PINK with a HEART on it.”

“BUT,” someone else said, “it’s a REFERENCE to the original games, where he DID wear a pink sweater with a heart on it! We MUST include it to pander to the fans!”

“WAIT,” a third person interjected. “I have a BRILLIANT IDEA. We can keep the pink... But to make it VERY CLEAR he is a heterosexual, masculine male... we put a sexy woman on it.”

And Person Three Got A Raise.

Thank god we’re finally halfway done this musical.

We Just Have To Go On With Our Lives Now

There’s plot or something happening. Leona breaks up with Phoenix inexplicably over the phone. Probably because of that freaking sweater. Imagine wearing that. God.

Eventually we go back to Phoenix talking to Leona, and he asks about the Jack Lyon case, which is the rip-off version of the Joe Darke case. Leona is pretty cagey about it, but Phoenix proves that she was there in the gallery that day. Leona refuses to answer, claims again that she killed the victim in her case, and leaves.

This makes Phoenix sad, so he starts singing.

Phoenix: I want to bring you back! I believe in you.

If this sounds familiar, it’s the part where I started absolutely losing my mind in the second musical because this line had never shown up before then, I’d forgotten it was in this musical, and Phoenix was screaming it alone in a red room, so I thought he was like desperately resorting to a necromancy ritual in hopes of bringing Leona back to life.

Instead, this line actually has CONTEXT, though it does just end up enforcing my theory. This is Phoenix mourning what he used to have with Leona, wanting to bring the “old her” back, because he’s devastated that people sometimes change. There are several flashbacks of their college days where he’s wearing his Sexy Woman Sweater. He does succeed in winning her back at the end of this musical. Before she dies, of course.

Phoenix in musical 2 still believes that he can bring back what he used to have with Leona... even beyond death. That’s something affirmed by this musical. I’m very grateful to it for somehow managing to enforce my nonsensical theory.

Doctor Ema

After this, Phoenix returns to his office, and meets with someone new.

That’s right! Only now, halfway through the musical, do we actually get to meet the Ema-equivalent to Leona’s Lana-equivalent. Her name is Monica Clyde. She has little rainbow heart stickers on her briefcase, which is the closest thing this musical has to acknowledging that gay people exist.

But what does this little briefcase contain, you may ask? Scientific investigation tools? No.

A full surgical toolset. Because you never know when someone’ll get sick, or when someone will need an entire operation in front of you. I guess.

So yes, Monica Clyde is not a forensic scientist in training, but a doctor! She decided to become a doctor because of her parents, who passed away of The Sickness, and so became a doctor in order to save lives like theirs.

Once more this has much darker and deeper implications than the musical is even aware of, because Monica is so anxious about treating sick people that she carries a full surgical toolset around with her at all times, scared to lose someone like she lost her parents... and then sometime in the next three years, Leona, her big sister, is going to die.

Of what? The strange Sickness that claimed her parents? A car accident? A botched spur-of-the-moment surgery? Whatever it is, Monica was unable to save her, even when she’d been training her entire life for it.

Monica is not mentioned at all throughout the second musical. It’s as if she does not exist.

Because unlike Ema of Rise From The Ashes, Monica is not at the heart of this story. She is, primarily, a plot device here to make Leona not trust Phoenix so that he can angst about their relationship.

What a mess this world is.

The Trial, Part 2

Rather than try to prove Leona’s innocence, Phoenix wants to link the current case to not-SL-9, the Jack Lyon case. He does this by showing this picture.

Senator Cole, the victim, is in this picture. His younger brother whose name I’ve forgotten, the victim of not-SL-9, is also in this picture. They are brothers. It is apparently novel that they are in the same picture, and somehow makes their cases linked.

As well, Governor Miller is in the picture. I guess you could say like... Governor Miller’s legal counsel is the defendant, so that’s another link? Even though the Governor would presumably know a Senator, so this isn’t an unusual group. Right now Phoenix has absolutely nothing to prove that these two cases are linked other than “hey, these two victims are brothers”, but apparently it works. So they spend a lot of time talking about not-SL-9, since Leona has confessed to the murder on day 1 and there is absolutely nothing indicating that she can’t be immediately declared guilty.

They hid the fact that Monica was a hostage in this not-SL-9, meaning that some of the case records were forged. Here’s Edgeworth’s reaction when this comes out.

Edgeworth: This is an outrage! I’m the most influential prosecutor in America! There’s nothing I don’t know!

In RFTA, when Edgeworth learns he’d been using forged evidence to give a man the death penalty, he is devastated, his entire worldview is shaken, he sees himself as a monster who could end up becoming horribly corrupt if he isn’t stopped.

Musical Edgeworth goes “I DIDN’T KNOW SOMETHING???”

It’s certainly strange characterization, but I guess Edgeworth is further behind in his character arc than in RFTA, so... ugh. Fine.

Phoenix calls Monica out as a witness to prove she was involved in the case. This causes Leona to panic, and try to dismiss Phoenix as her attorney, like Lana in RFTA, but Edgeworth interjects to call Monica in anyways. He and Phoenix have a little moment.

Edgeworth: You said to believe in others. I suppose I’ll try believing in you. Try to keep up.

Phoenix: Edgeworth!

So Monica comes to the stand to testify. We get to see this picture of Monica being held hostage, and not-Joe-Darke’s incredible eyeliner.

Lots of it is very similar to the actual RFTA, except instead of the victim being stabbed on the knight with the giant knife, he’s instead stabbed with a regular old knife. Leona still refuses to admit to what really happened, until Edgeworth convinces her to believe in Phoenix.

Edgeworth: Your attorney is a runaway train with a one-track mind. Yet he placed all of his faith in you. Believe in him. You owe him that much.

Leona testifies, and says that when she found the victim, he was stabbed with a scalpel.

Here is where things get weird.

Scalpels Can’t Kill People

So basically earlier in this trial, they talk about how Leona knew that the knife that stabbed the victim was double-edged despite being buried in his chest. The judge questions if this means Leona killed him, but Phoenix is quick to say no, she was searched when she entered the courthouse and couldn’t have concealed a knife.

Yet, Monica was able to bring in her surgical toolkit which contains several sharp knives, scalpels, scissors, etc.

This is the first major contradiction.

Leona continues to say that when she found Monica, and the scalpel stabbed in the victim, she also ran into Governor Miller, who if you haven’t been able to tell yet is the Gant-equivalent of this musical. He offered to help her with the cover-up, etc.

The next bit goes a lot like RFTA. Phoenix accuses Governor Miller, who barges in, says Phoenix has the decisive evidence in his pocket. This is the “butter knife” that Phoenix took from his office when he dug around in confidential documents and stole it for no particular reason. It has Monica’s fingerprints on it! ... And Phoenix’s and Maya’s too probably because they were handling it without gloves, but they don’t mention that part.

Leona cries about how she shouldn’t have trusted Phoenix because he was apparently now blaming Monica, Monica looks terrified, she and Leona have some good sister moments but it’s not as good as it could be if the story was actually about Leona and Monica like how RFTA was about Lana and Ema. But Phoenix has the decisive piece of evidence that can turn this around.

It is this:

Phoenix: Scalpels are made for medical incisions, not stabbings. So how did it stab the victim?

...

... What?

So like. Yes, scalpels are made for medical incisions. Medical incisions often involve cutting through flesh, very easily. As a result, they are sharp. Extremely sharp. As in: their purpose is literally to stab people, very specifically.

Yes, they’re easier to control, so that surgeons don’t regularly stab people how they’re not supposed to be stabbed, but it’s not like, impossible to stab someone in a killing way with a scalpel? Admittedly, I have never tried to kill someone using a scalpel. And I do not have experience using a scalpel for surgeries because I am not a surgeon. But I’m pretty sure, if you take a sharp scalpel, and you stab someone in the chest with it with a reasonable amount of force... they die.

Like, is this a particular kind of scalpel that is not very sharp? Is the problem that the blade doesn’t match up with the initial wound? But even then, we don’t have the original unforged autopsy report or even a picture, so how would Phoenix know what the original wound looked like to say it didn’t match up? And even then why wouldn’t Phoenix say that instead of SCALPELS CAN’T STAB PEOPLE???

This is his decisive contradiction and it makes ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE TO ME!!!

Well Darn I Guess Scalpels Can’t Kill People

This is such a decisive piece of evidence, that scalpels can’t kill people, coming from the man who thought “caught red-handed” does not involve being caught standing over a corpse with blood on your hands, that it causes Governor Miller to confess.

Unlike Gant, who created the murder with Neil Marshall both to ensure that there was decisive evidence to convict Joe Darke, a serial killer who had not left any decisive evidence behind, and gain control over the prosecutor’s office in order to pull similar stunts to get criminals convicted using false evidence, Governor Miller does not have that as his motive. After all, he’s not a police officer. Instead, he ended up accidentally killing not-Joe-Darke, and then set up the incident in order to get Leona on his side. As her parents were both influential lawyers and very respectable, having her and her parents’ reputation on his side could help him become President of America Where This Takes Place.

So, let’s just take a moment to run over some of the things that made the original Rise From The Ashes great, in my opinion. Just for fun.

1 - The heart of the story between the Skye sisters. Lana closing off to protect Ema, Ema wanting to get through to her sister and get back to the way things used to be. Phoenix, in this story, is more of a bystander to this plotline rather than in the heart of it himself.

2 - Edgeworth’s Character Development. Basically RFTA creates an interesting transition between Turnabout Goodbyes and JFA. It causes Edgeworth to re-evaluate everything he knows about being a prosecutor. So quickly on the heels of Turnabout Goodbyes, it crushes the last bit of hope in him. It compares him to Gant, who also hates criminals, and forces him to wonder if his hatred of crime will one day lead to him being a criminal himself. He’s already convicted one person on forged evidence; how many others could there be?

3 - The Ends Justify The Means. ... wait come back, don’t leave. What I found neat about this case was also Gant’s motive. At one point he was presumably an honest person who hated crime and wanted to stop criminals. But over time in the police force, he became corrupted. He wanted to have all criminals convicted. So what do you do when you don’t have the evidence to convict them? Joe Darke was a serial killer who has killed several people and may have killed more if he’d gone free. The only way to stop and convict him was by using forged evidence. Other criminals could hide evidence to get away with their crimes, so people like Gant would make it up to catch them; but then when do you stop? What happens if there’s no evidence because someone is truly innocent? When does the line between “this person is a criminal and I want to stop them” and “I just want to convict everyone I’m dealing with” become blurred? This is also something he shares with Edgeworth and helps to advance his character.

All three of these things are either lessened or outright ignored in this musical. Leona and Monica’s story takes a backseat to Phoenix and Leona’s Love Story, with Monica only showing up halfway through, and mainly as an excuse as to why Leona is withdrawn. Edgeworth doesn’t seem to blame himself for the forged evidence he used, and doesn’t have a crisis questioning his morality over it. And Governor Miller’s motive is purely power. Unlike Gant, who would have become Chief of Police whether he solved SL-9 or not, Miller needed Leona to win the presidency. And instead of asking her to help him with his campaign like a normal person, he just blackmailed her instead.

... How do you play the games seven times and miss this much?

The Case Finally Ends

god. we’re almost there.

The case ends, Leona is declared not guilty but will still face trial for covering up murders and such. Probably less of a sentence than Lana because she was not involved in ongoing police corruption? Either way she’s dead in three years, so she’s got something a bit more concerning coming up.

She’s led away. Phoenix sings a bit about Leona before being interrupted by Edgeworth... who has something important to tell him.

Edgeworth: You awakened within me those once-cherished emotions I had discarded. I see visions of a distant, nostalgic past.

So basically this is the unnecessary feelings of the musical. Something along the lines of “seeing you again and fighting for my former ideals is making me question many things about myself.”

How does Phoenix respond?

Phoenix: Edgeworth... Try talking normally for a chance.

Sure, we were all thinking it, but that’s a little cold, Phoenix.

Edgeworth tries a smooth recovery.

Edgeworth: I don’t do... idle chit-chat.

This doesn’t accomplish much. So he leaves to allow Leona to visit with Phoenix alone. He’s got to go change for something more important coming up.

Leona and Phoenix decide that they’re going to get back together once Leona is done her sentence! They make a promise that is very funny if you know she’ll be dead in three years.

Phoenix: I’ll be waiting. For you.

There are a lot of hugs here, I’m not screencapping them all. There are also several moments where their faces get very close together and like, their nose brushes the other’s cheek or something, but they never actually kiss. Is it because the actresses weren’t comfortable with it (valid), or they thought kissing would be too much for the musical (sure, whatever), or since both characters are played by women the show staff did not want two women kissing on stage (probably the real answer)? I don’t like watching kisses, but I kept bracing myself for one and then it never happened, so.

Phoenix ends the main part of the musical with one last musical number starring my personal favourite piece:

Phoenix: I want to bring you back! I believe in you.

I like to think that at this point, this is present-day Phoenix, after finishing his reminiscing, still desperately wishing he could bring Leona back from death.

But alas, he cannot. And so, after one last daydream of them dancing together on the beaches of California, singing about their love, the musical ends.

Dance Time!

This starts at exactly the two hour mark, if you’re interested in watching what is, once again, one of the only fun parts of this musical.

Seriously, Edgeworth’s actress kills it here, when I first saw this I went “oh, this is why I saw so many people being gay for her on twitter.”

Edgeworth’s song is an encore of “My Rule”, so it’s lots of fun. Afterwards Phoenix gets another fun piece.

Then we get to the love ballad part, which I can probably overanalyze, I feel like I haven’t done enough ridiculous over-analyzing in this essay in comparison to the other.

Uhhh so the fog represents how Phoenix feels lost in this world without Leona. You can see it in the second screenshot separating the two of them, representing the barrier of death between the two of them. Idk it’s midnight I’m getting worn out from having to think about this musical for so long.

But his mourning over Leona’s death becomes even more apparent in the credits, where Phoenix sings that one line again:

Phoenix: I want to bring you back! I believe in you.

I’m not fixing that screenshot, I think it’s oddly fitting, in a way. That’s me right now.

Then at the very end, he sings this song.

Phoenix: I’ll spend... this eternal life... soaring through... the heavens!

Technically, this refers to his name Phoenix, but let’s dig a little deeper. He spends the rest of his life soaring through the heavens... the heavens that Leona went to after her untimely death, perhaps?

Overall, the musical becomes much more interesting when you just see it as a prequel to the second musical. This musical establishes many core concepts of Phoenix’s character: his refusal to believe in the concept of things changing, for one, and also his extreme dependency on Leona who he was never separated from since they were kids and where he based his entire life around her dreams and ideals. All he can think about is her. And in the end, he promises to wait for her in California.

Yet, to paraphrase Miles Edgeworth, all that is waiting for him is her death. Their dream of opening up a Mom & Pop Law Firm will never come true.

Thanks again for bearing with me even though this wasn’t as funny!

#ace attorney #phoenix wright the truth reborn #idk maybe someone wanted to know what the first musical was like without actually watching it?#my essays #my posts #i'm TIRED i'm going to BED goodNIGHT #this is less funny jokes and more actually criticizing the musical #because so much of this is like. wow. you really thought that was a good idea huh #just skip to the feenie sweater part honestly that's the funniest part of this musical

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