#i truly love all the fics ive been sent

[bloopitynoot]

I consume a frightening amount of fics in a week, and im tempted to put together a weekly list of "what I read in a week" just to share the incredible fics im working through.

I got so many fic recs, and now I want to share them!

[oh-no-its-bird]

Thinking about my desire for a mistaken identity time travel fic where Obito and Sasuke get tossed into the warring states, but bc Sasuke looks like an Izuna clone and Obito for some reason gets the wild hair look back, they keep being mistaken for Madara and Izuna.

Notably, they keep being mistaken for Madara and Izuna as they are in the middle of attempting to beat the ever-loving shit out of eachother.

And because Obito likes causing problems for Madara and Sasuke shrimply does not give a fuck and might even appreciate the fake identity alibi, they do nothing to actually deny the mistaken identity. Obito actually encourages it, usually by loudly agreeing with whoever shouts "omg its Uchiha Madara" as he lights shit on fire.

Anything to cause the real Madara more problem, right? Karma, bitch aa

He actually wants to cut his hair short again but the temptation of getting to continue to ruin Madara's reputation is too good, so he doesnt

ANYWAYS. Thinking about all of the above again w the context of my "Kakashi is related to and bears a resemblance to Tobirama" agenda thats been steadily growing in like. Actually, I think almost every Kakashi fic Ive written so far (oops)

Maybe I want Kakashi in this now. Maybe I'm also thinking about Tenzo, who got the same "oh for some strange reason my hair is longer now" treatment as Obito and with the Mokuton, can now be mistake as Hashirama by those who have never seen him. Or even people who have seen him but logically assume he's wearing a henge.

There's only one known man with the power of Mokuton-- why would the ever believe it wasn't Hashirama (unless they were close enough to the man to truly doubt it on a personal level)

I have no real ideas for an overarching plot, but like. Obito, Sasuke, Kakashi and Tenzo mistaken identity time travel my beloved,,

Kakashi and Tenzo traveled + landed together and Obito and Sasuke did the same so neither group is aware of the other

(Kakashi and Obito eventually figure it out bc of the shared eye connection I think)

But in the mean time they actually keep managing to avoid each other bc they'll hear rumors ab "Uchiha Madara" being spotted in the town over (Obito continues to be very loud about it very on purpose) and then avoid going there, while Sasuke hears the same, figures its Obito, and sprints over to try and bash his face in

Obito finally eventually gets cornered by Kakashi, Tenzo, and Sasuke and gets his shit rocked fr fr send tweet

Sasuke and Kakashi bonding moment(s) where we tackle the uhh. Everything. Of canon. And Sasuke gives Kakashi a crumb of respect back or smthn

Idk but I just want to see Sasuke call him sensei, don't ask me how we'd get there

Meanwhile when they're finally like, exposed or whatever there's just SUCH a mess there to be had

I'm choosing Uchiha Hikaku as my first contact bc I love him dearly and think he serves as good middleground between ranks of importance and relevance

So like. Picture this.

You are Hikaku. You're sent out to investigate some rumors about Madara and Izuna fucking shit up and causing a general mess some ways away. A henge, a slander campaign, the real Madara-sama is sure.

You get there and find 3 people fighting.

(Obito, Kakashi and Tenzo's first interaction. It's tense. They may all come from the final battle, after Obito changed his mind, but there were a lot of things left unsaid and also they all probably just wanna beat the shit out of eachother anyways. Things happen, things are said, a fight is had)

Two of them bear a passing resemblance to Madara and Tobirama respectively, and the 3rd has the look of a Senju to him.

Ok. So, Senju slander campaign? Gone... wrong, he'd assume by the fact that they were all fighting.

You then recognize that the fake Madara has mismatched eyes (!!!! What the fuck !!! Culturally significant thing there !! Was he born like that? Was it a transplant?)

And the fake Tobirama(?) has a whole stolen sharingan he seems to be ACTIVLEY using (WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!! SOUND THE ALARMS!!!!! BLOODLINE THIEF ALERT !!!!!!!!)

You debate between just watching or entering the fight, but then the fake Tobirama makes some sort of reference to his sharingan eye belonging to the fake Madara's.

All thoughts come to a screeching halt.

Ok. So. Gonna get involved now.

There's a clear side here (Uchiha vs potential Senju) Hikaku can not leave his clanmate to die, and he doesn't yet know how he might have been involved in the slander campaign so it's honestly best to put this guy in his pocket and bring him back to Madara anyways

So Hikaku enters the battle, everyone makes appropriate shocked pikachu faces bc no one noticed him and aw shit it's gonna get more complicated, cool, awesome, great

(Also note; Hikaku became the eventual Uchiha head after Madara's defection so there's also a "oh shit no way" reaction from Obito specifically who knows this information. And also maybe Kakashi who I imagine knows a lot of Konoha's history and politics)

Battle continues, Tenzo uses Mokuton, Hikaku gets appropriately freaked the FUCK out at the idea of another mokuton user

Then Sasuke comes crashing out of nowhere , yay !!!

(Kakashi and Tenzo, who did not know Sasuke was here yet and are only seeing him for the first time, make more surprised pikachu faces)

Sasuke, who... possibly knew Kakashi and Tenzo were around and may have been avoiding them, wanting to signal that for now at least they were all on the same side (against Obito) nods to Kakashi specifically and gives a tense and sort of stilted, "sensei."

SO. HIKAKU IS KIND OF GOING THROUGH IT OVER HERE NOW.

Sasuke is a dead fucking wringer for Izuna in the way that only a direct relation can be. I'm talking they could absoloutley pass for twins kind of relation. Worst of all, they look around the same age (Sasuke is only a few years younger)

Hikaku is no longer fighting with a strange Uchiha against Senju agents he's now fighting with an Uchiha against another Uchiha (who's a dead wringer for his clan heir !!!!) He does not know who to believe or what side to exist on.

(Had this false Izuna called the fake Tobirama sensei? Oh god—)

Things happen, whether they lose or escape I don't know but it ends with an incredibly confused and concerned Hikaku returning to the Uchiha clan compound with tales of bloodline theft, another mokuton user, and horrifically— A possible sibling, lost and raised by the senju in secret.

Yeah. So. Madara won't react well to that. Madara won't react well to that at all.

(Izuna won't either, in the slightest. Does... does he have a twin...? Did he have a twin once, lost too early for their parents to bear to tell them...?)

It's incredibly hard for the Senju to deny any involvement when Hikaku has sharingan perfect memories to share of the fake-Izuna (Sasuke, they had called him Sasuke) standing side by side with a man who resembles Tobirama and another who is very fucking clearly using Mokuton. And that's "very fucking clearly using mokuton" seen by someone who has SEEN mokuton used in battle. Multiple times. He will not mistake it for anything else.

Anyways oops sorry for creating a horrible political scandal and also probably making the Uchiha/Senju wore like 10 times more charged teehee </3

(Obito doesn't give a shit. Sasuke swings violently between caring both too little and too much depending on the hour of the day and how the issue is framed. Kakashi and Tenzo are.... distracted. And undecided. And care about this issue from an "aw shit but Konoha wait no—" view point)

Ummmmm anyways endgame Konoha is made early (but possibly with a bit more blood involved) and Hikaku is made Hokage bc I fucking love Hikaku, yay the end !!!

[turcott3]

off the table

charles leclerc x fem! reader

warnings?: cursing, angst, kissing and fluff! (this is not edited apologies for any mistakes)

positions fics masterlist

~but i just wanna know is love completely off the table?~

-

your eyes fluttered open as the sun filled the las vegas hotel room. you roll to face away from the window and you’re met by a familiar sleeping face. the relationship you and charles had created was special but complex. you weren’t together. you’re primary relationship is sex and nights out together but it never extended beyond that. occasionally you received a grand prix invite, las vegas being one of them. he messed with your feelings often. one second it seems like he wants you and the other he’s leaning on a bar counter talking to another woman. you just let it happen because you wanted him, even if it does hurt you not knowing.

“good morning char.” you say quietly as the brunette stretches out and looks at you.

“good morning amour.” he smiles before getting up out of bed. you wanted to reach out and grab for him but you didn’t wanna push your limits. you yearned for him. all you wanted was to be his and his only, but it was starting to feel like too much to ask for. every day you’ve spent together, a bubble of anxiety grew in your chest.

“what time do we need to leave?” you call out.

“we have a few more hours no worries.” he smiles walking back into the bedroom and climbing back into bed, quickly nuzzling his face in the crook of your neck.

“how many is a few more?” you giggle, scratching his scalp lightly.

“like four or something.” he says, his breath on your neck was hot and sent goosebumps all over your body.

“i need to get a shower okay?” you say and he pulls away after pressing a short kiss to your neck.

“okay, ill be here.” he smirks laying back on his side, scrolling on instagram. you enter the bathroom, grateful for the escape you just made. he made your mind spin. when he cuddles to you and kisses you, yet doesn’t care to want you is the mode confusing experience you’ve had. you let the warm water soak your body as you stood in your thoughts, tears pricking your eyelids. eventually you lost the fight and let the sobs wrack your body. all you wanted was answers. tearfully, you finished the shower and dried off, staring at your puffy face in the mirror.

“am i just not good enough?” you whisper to yourself. you walk out into the bedroom to grab clothes from your suitcase, avoiding looking in charles’ direction.

“y/n?”

“i’ll be out in a second.” you say shutting the door behind you. quickly, you slip on your clothes and hang your damp towels.

“y/n?” he asks again as you walk out.

“what?” you say, eyes still red and face still puffy.

“come sit, what is wrong?”

“i don’t know.” you lie sitting down next to him, not wanting to possibly ruin this trip.

“yes you do. tell me.” he pushes clearly wanting an answer.

“you confuse me charles. you confuse me so much and you’ve made me catch undeniably strong feelings for you but you confuse the fuck out of me. one second i think you may want me and then the next you’re talking to another woman. i’m just confused on why you wanted me here.” you express as lightly as possible.

“i do have feelings for you. i truly do y/n, i don’t want you to think that i don’t.”

“then why don’t you want me charles?”

“i do i just- im just so busy and stressed with the season i don’t want to have more things to keep up with. not that you don’t deserve the absolute best, i just don’t think i can give you what you deserve.”

“well i’m here right now aren’t i? i’ll come to every race, every event, everything. i am here for you and you only. i don’t want to get in your way so im trying my best to stay out of the way and id say ive done pretty well.” you add, tears falling once more and he nods.

“is love just not something you’re looking for right now? tell me baby.” you say as he pulls you into his lap, wiping your tears.

“it is. i don’t know why ive been pushing you away. you’re too good to me and i feel like if i can’t be 100% here then it won’t work and you deserve 100%.”

“i’m willing to try, only for you.” you say and he kisses you on the cheek.

“mon amour. you’re incredible.”

“so does this mean?”

“yes, it means you’re my girlfriend, i’m not even gonna ask i’m declaring it now.” he giggles and hugs you closely to his chest.

“look at us, newest couple on the grid.” you laugh.

“and arguably the best, sorry everyone else.” he says placing a light hand on your lower back.

“definitely the best.”

-

“carlos, this is my girlfriend y/n. you’ve met before but i figured i should re-introduce with the proper title.” charles giggles at his teammate.

“hello y/n, it’s great to re-meet you.” he smiles sticking his hand out to you which you gladly shake.

“it’s great to re-meet you too.”

“alright well baby, we got to get to it so, ill see you in a bit alright?”

“alright, good luck out there char.”

“thank you.” he smiles kissing you sweetly on the lips before walking off with his teammate.

“i was waiting for this day to come.” one of the staff says nudging you.

“really?” you giggle.

“yes, last race you weren’t there and he was like ‘i wish y/n was here, she makes me calm.’”

“how sweet.” you smile at the woman before she follows behind them.

guess love was never off the table.

-

sorry this is so short😭

[stationintern]

Hello all,

November was… it certainly was. But, no matter how much life is life-ing, we always have fics. Thank the heavens, truly, for all of you beautiful people.

I found and revisited so many FANTASTIC fics this month, and I hope you enjoy them as much as I did as we carry on into December.

Let’s go!!!

The Edge Of Something by @tackytigerfic M, 1.4k

This was so hot I may have melted a bit. At this point, the tackytiger agenda isn’t even an agenda anymore. It’s a lifestyle. A quick and juicy MUST READ!

On Permanence by @the-starryknight M, 1.4k

Like the tags say, this fic is actually quite soft. I don’t think I’ve recced anything by Starry before, which is very surprising considering every time I read something they’ve written I have to stare at my ceiling for a few minutes. Very soft, very sweet. Eternally lovely writing from Starry.

Connecting Lines, Connecting Crimes by @sleepstxtic M, 15k

Fic writers will never cease to amaze me. This was so well done. Incredibly relevant, tender, and clearly made with love and passion. And it’s FREE! I cant believe I get to read fics like this. @sleepstxtic, this was so beautiful.

port in a storm by saltwatergarden M, 8k

God, I love a Draco Malfoy who runs a business. Cant stress that enough, actually. Loved the well thought through circumstances here, and have spent at least two nights imagining an epilogue to this in my brain.

AITA for being “obsessed” with my childhood nemesis? by rainstormradish M, 4.2k

Oh my god. I have been WAITING to talk about this. One of the funniest fics Ive read in a very long time. As a lurker on reddit, every little detail just sent me into fits of giggles. Kicking my legs, squealing. Could not recommend this more. For some reason, I cant actually tag the author here? But, their tumblr in the same as their ao3 name.

The Tune Without the Words by @teledild0nix G, 2k

I read this for the first time a while ago, and it is just so soft. A lovely little birdie and his lovely little ex-boyfriend. I just reread it while writing this rec to make sure I’m remembering it correctly, and I’m a bit tipsy so it nearly brought me to tears. Pls read.

Have a lovely December!!

xx, Moon

[heliads]

Hiya! I sent a request earlier but i dont know if it sent in because i had bad wifi- so please ignore this if it sent in- (so sorry for the repeat) but i found your blog and you write the best luke Castellan fics ive ever read!! Could i request a Luke Castellan x Reader where reader is Percy’s older sibling? Like reader has been in the hermes cabin as an unclaimed since they came to camp with luke thalia annabeth and grover- so theyve gotten used to it but then percy gets there and they get claimed at the same time as him but they get upset because they feel like they were only claimed because the gods want to use them and they dont want to move into a big empty cabin with some kid they dont know? Thank you thank you thank you!!

thank you!! also this request HITS, anything for my man luke

masterlist

Luke Castellan thinks that he may come to regret this.

He’s sitting on the roof of the Hermes cabin, his favorite spot to get away from the noise currently roiling somewhere below him. Luke loves the people in Cabin Eleven, his half-siblings on the godly side and those who don’t have a true immortal parent to call their own. Not one they know, at least. That has always bothered him and likely always will.

Despite the fun of those good kids all decked out in orange t-shirts, gleeful grins, and bitter stares, the sound of all that teenage rage and rebellion can get to just about anyone. Curfew was already called, but the cleaning harpies won’t be around for a while, so Luke dares to stay out of doors for a few moments more.

The shadows shift in Luke’s periphery, and suddenly he’s alone no longer. Luke turns to see the intruder, letting the cool breeze guide him to the figure moving towards him in the semidarkness. Once he’s determined that he’s not about to be attacked, or at least not by an unfriendly face, he looks out towards the front of the cabin once more.

Luke closes his eyes, letting the creaking of wooden timbers and soft rhythm of footsteps tell him that his visitor is taking a seat next to him. Luke will answer their unspoken question soon enough, will carve out parts of him to make the other whole, but for now he lets himself bask in the blissful darkness of no one needing him for anything quite yet.

It is still here, it is quiet. The late hour must be getting to the Hermes kids below him; even the most rambunctious youth are murmuring about sleep and wanting to be silent for the time being. Luke can hear the insects whispering in the woods, the click of pincers, the swoosh of grass far below him. Luke knows what’s coming, but gods, if he doesn’t hate himself for wanting it so much.

Someone asks, “Can I come in?” Luke does not refuse. Does he ever?

It started earlier, all of this. Of course it did. Theirs is not a world of mere beginnings and endings. The past feeds the future, the present serves the past. You cannot pull one singular thread from a tapestry and expect to see the whole story.

Luke Castellan is used to people arriving unannounced to the Hermes cabin. Rarely has it been a place for solely his half-siblings, if it ever truly was. No, Hermes was the jack of all trades, so his home by extension must be the same as well. The bunks are always crowded, the floor always taken up by sleeping bags and curled forms of people who will never know who they truly are.

It used to make Luke mad. It still does, but that anger has been tainted with something else, a sort of grim sadness that tells him the bad times will just keep coming and coming. Every day, more unclaimed kids are sent here. If you get furious over every new arrival, the hate will never let you go. Sometimes, that’s more tempting than it should be.

There’s one unclaimed soul that Luke has never minded, though, and that would be Y/N L/N. They first came to camp a couple of years ago; no one knows when for sure, not even Luke or Y/N. Such details of such seemingly inconsequential arrivals are rarely written down in the great history books. Claimed kids have always been more important, especially those children of the more important gods. Some shadow of another indecision will just be given a camp t-shirt, a weapon, and an empty promise that they might, at some point, grow to know who they are.

So the Hermes cabin gained another soul to beat against its walls like a moth trapped inside past dark, who cares. Luke did. He still does, because Y/N wasn’t just another unclaimed demigod, they were his best friend. They plot late into the night about how they’d fix this place if they were ever in charge. Half of the scars on Luke’s sides are from all the times they were sparring together and Y/N managed to get through his defense. Luke heals some of those wounds with nectar or ambrosia, but not all. A couple are alright, to remind him of how much he’d bleed and die for Y/N if he ever got the chance.

They made a damn good team, anyone could see that. The jaded son of Hermes and the bitter unclaimed half-blood, the two people no one crosses, the only ones capable of pulling the other out of their own heads. Luke never knew what it was like to need someone until he met Y/N. He risked his life with Thalia, of course, he protected Annabeth, but he needs Y/N to breathe, to keep going. There are people who would despise such weakness, but Luke is not one of them. Not yet, at least. Not ever, so long as he’s in control of his own mind.

When Luke thinks about how much he hates the gods, when he drives himself half insane because of all the times the demigods needed their immortal parents and the gods never even bothered to claim them, he thinks about Y/N first of all. 

He’s seen them cry a thousand tears for a parent that will never want them back, a sense of belonging that will never be theirs. Luke pulled Y/N close a hundred times, whispered a million worlds, and let his heart break in unison with theirs. They’ll get their revenge someday. Y/N will have their home, and even if that only ever ends up being Luke, it will be enough.

And then, all of a sudden, he wasn’t the end all, be all, of Y/N’s existence. A boy came to camp, sea-green eyes wide with shock and fear. His hair was dark, his conscience clean, and although Luke didn’t have a concrete reason to hate him, he did so anyway. Percy Jackson doesn’t know it yet, but he’s ruined everything.

The evidence was there soon enough. Capture the Flag has always been a favored pastime of the Camp Half-Blood demigods– who doesn’t love a chance to swing swords at your friends and enemies, then risk your neck in an attempt to wrangle victory and bragging rights in one go? Luke and Y/N have always made the best co-captains, and this time is no exception.

This time, though, Percy was on their team too, as another unclaimed kid stuck in Hermes cabin. Percy was the one who mysteriously has to face down a hellhound that somehow got into camp. No one looked to Luke as a source of the monster. No one suspected him. He made sure of it.

The result, though, he hadn’t counted on that. Percy is claimed, but the Jackson kid isn’t the only one with a glowing symbol hovering above their head. No, Luke looks to his side and realizes that Y/N, too, has been claimed. Y/N is a child of Poseidon as well. Looks like the god of the sea is only interested in claiming his children when he can multitask and get multiple at once, like checking off bothersome items on a to-do list.

Now is not the time for jokes, though. Y/N stares at him, eyes wide and reflecting the blue-green glow of being claimed, and Luke knows that it’s all over somehow. This is the sign Y/N’s been waiting for all this time, but it means that they’ll have to go to Poseidon’s cabin forever now, and just like that, all of their memories have come to a sudden halt.

They’re not done, of course. They’ll still be at the same camp, but nothing will ever truly be the same. No more of those late nights curled up together, whispering promises of a better future. No more working together on every cabinwide game or activity. No more eating meals together and exchanging jokes over bites of food. There is an immortal wedge driven between them now, as high and insurmountable as Luke has ever seen.

Y/N knows all this, and they look just as thunderstruck as he feels. Y/N looks like they want to run, and if it weren’t for the fact that the entire camp has now gathered around the two children of the sea god, Y/N might try it, too. Instead, they just stand there, staring at Luke like they’re hoping for a lifeline.

There’s nothing Luke can do, even if he hates himself for it. Instead, he sinks to one knee like the others, but he keeps his head up, eyes on Y/N until they’re physically separated by Chiron leading Percy and Y/N away. After that, Luke is left to stumble back home by himself, wondering why it hurts like a blade pierced between his ribs to notice that Y/N’s things have already been gathered and removed from the Hermes cabin.

Y/N and Percy sit by themselves at dinner that evening, as per tradition. Luke has never known Y/N to have a problem talking to people; seats by them are highly coveted at every meal, but you wouldn’t know that now. Y/N sits up perfectly straight, spine resolute and unflinching. Percy musters up the occasional effort to ask a question or two, but Y/N answers everything in monosyllabic words, making it clear that they want nothing to do with him.

Luke doesn’t get a chance to talk to them until the next day. Ever since the hellhound incident, Chiron has recommended that teams of demigods with more sword experience under their belts go search the woods for more monsters, just in case. Luke isn’t going to tell anyone that they don’t have to worry about that, obviously, but he isn’t about to pass up a chance to see Y/N.

He chooses Y/N as his patrol partner and they set out into the forest in search of certain death. Luke side eyes Y/N as they go, unable to stop himself from searching for clues that they’ve always been a child of Poseidon. Now that he thinks about it, they’ve got this familiar scent of salt and sea air, or a bit of wildness in their eyes that could only ever remind Luke of the untamed ocean. Then again, it could just be Poseidon amplifying those qualities in his elder child, trying to make it seem as if Y/N had his blessing all along. It wouldn’t surprise Luke if that were the case.

It doesn’t take long for Y/N to catch onto what he’s trying to do, though. “Spot any drastic differences in my appearance?” They ask, one brow raised, “what, did the old man dye my hair blue to match the waves?”

Luke snorts. “I don’t think anyone would be foolish enough to try that, even a god.”

Y/N laughs along with him, but their smile fades soon enough. “So? Am I completely and utterly different now that I’ve been claimed? All this time of waiting for it, surely something should have changed.”

Luke shakes his head decisively. “You’re still Y/N in every way.”

“No kidding,” Y/N says bitterly, “it’s because I was never important to Poseidon. Not really. He was already going to claim Percy and felt bad, so he got me too. He probably wants a pawn, someone he can sacrifice instead of Percy and feel appropriately big-hearted about it.”

Luke can’t say he’s surprised to hear Y/N so upset. It can’t feel good, knowing that the only reason your godly parent finally noticed you was because of someone else. “He could have done it so much earlier. The fact that he waited this long to claim you isn’t great, to say the least.”

Y/N’s lips curl with a sneer. “No, it’s just fantastic. I gave up on him, you know? Sometimes I liked to pretend that my claiming might happen, but we all knew the truth. I accepted my fate as an unclaimed demigod forever, and just when I was finally appreciating it, he goes and does this to me. Now I have to spend the rest of my days in this empty, gloomy cabin with a kid I don’t even know. I feel closer to the other Hermes kids and they’re not even my family. Hell, they are my family, just not by the godly side, but for some reason that pales in comparison with some stranger from Manhattan.”

Luke reaches out an arm to pull Y/N closer by their shoulders. “You’re not done with us Hermes kids, obviously. Cabin Eleven is still yours, even if you’re no longer unclaimed. If you get sick of Jackson, we’d be glad to have you back.”

“Even though you need all the empty space you can get?” Y/N asks doubtfully.

“Well,” Luke says as casually as he can, “we mainly just tell that to the others to scare them off. You’re one of us, Y/N.” He pauses, then forces out the last bit in a voice barely louder than a whisper. “You’re the only one I want there with me. I miss you.”

Y/N looks up at him, eyes soft. “I miss you too.”

“It’s stupid, though, isn’t it?” Luke mutters, “we’re at the same camp, I can see you whenever.”

“It’s not the same, though,” Y/N muses, “I might take you up on that offer, though. Just warning you.”

“I look forward to it,” Luke promises.

They talk for a while longer about sword fighting practice and demigod rivalries and other nonsense. Even after they go back to their respective activities, though, Luke can’t fight a pang in his chest. Y/N isn’t his anymore, not in the way that they used to belong to each other in a way that only misfits do. He’s Hermes, they’re Poseidon, and times will never be the same again.

Luke has always liked the relentless babble of the Hermes cabin, but today is a different story. Instead of washing away his troubles on an endless stream of chatter, it only serves to grate against his nerves. Luke waits until no one is watching, then pulls himself out of a nearby window and up to the roof in one swift movement. No one sees him go, no one will follow. At last, he can be alone.

Or, he’s alone until someone touches down on the roof. Luke sits there, legs swinging over the edge, and shuts his eyes. He can stretch this moment out into infinity while he’s waiting for Y/N to cross the roof to sit next to him. The goodbyes never come if the hellos never do, either.

Y/N places their hand on his shoulder, warm and steady as always. “Can I come in?”

“Of course,” Luke murmurs back. As if he would ever let them go.

The lights are off when he slips inside once more. It’s a blessing, as no one notices Y/N follow him in. Hermes kids are usually quiet, best at sneaking around. It’s a trait Y/N has clearly picked up from him. Luke tries not to let it go to his head. Usually, he hates any evidence that his father has impacted him in some way, but for some reason he doesn’t mind it in Y/N.

It’s quiet in the cabin, so this is no time for conversation. Instead, Luke makes his way over to his bunk, holding out his arms for Y/N to join him. The night passes in the same fashion as many before it:  the two of them intertwined like thread, heads against shoulders and legs together. Y/N falls asleep first, but Luke stays awake a while longer, cursing this world for not giving him what he needs to live through it in peace.

This is the beginning of the end, he thinks. He thought that maybe getting claimed would ease Y/N’s anger, but it only ignited it. That makes Luke furious in turn. If the gods are only going to use Y/N as a pawn, well, Luke will clearly have to stop them before they try anything of the sort. None of the immortals care about their children, but Luke does. Luke always will.

He makes himself a promise before his eyes shut that night, even swears it on the River Styx. Their revenge will come. The gods will know their names, and not just as tools to claim when the time is right. Luke will make the Olympians do right by him, by Y/N, by all of them. They have no idea what’s coming.

pjo tag list: @w1shes43, @fadedver

[liloinkoink]

a year ago today, i sent @unexpectedly-haunted an idea i had for a renchanting au based around Ren as a god and Martyn as his follower. we spent quite a while tossing around a concept for the au in which i laid out an idea i'd had and he helped me flesh it out

the next day, Haunted came back to me with a design for Martyn in the AU, and i, unwilling to be undone, sat down and wrote a 500ish word oneshot, 20 Questions. i didn't really expect it to go further than that--i didnt even intend to write for it again!--but you guys greatly surprised me

the immediate support i got for my silly little drabble in the form of kind words, excitement from friends, asks and interest from followers, and even art from strangers motivated me to keep working at the AU. i dont think ive ever received so much love, support, enthusiasm, or kindness on anything else i've written in my life. i truly dont know how to thank the lot of you enough, nor do i know how to express how much all the love this fic has received means to me

what i can say is that Lamplight is now 45k words and counting, writing it and seeing how much you guys enjoy it has been an absolute blast, and continuing after those initial 500 words is one of the best decisions i could have made. ive made a lot of really good friends, met a lot of really cool people, and had a lot of really amazing experiences because of this fic, and i couldnt appreciate it more

to celebrate and show how far this idea has come... i'll put a cut, but if you want a few more screenshots of our initial planning convo, i've thrown them in (up until the point you hit plot spoilers). quite a few things have changed or been abandoned, but there are also pieces that have stayed completely the same (martyn's paladin oath from torchlight, for example, is almost verbatim the same as the oath i made up for him day one)

first, tho: thank you to everyone who has been reading and enjoying lamplight!!! and

[runningthroughthegarden]

Hi how are you ❤️? You write amazingly well <3

I was wondering, if you take requests, if you could write a Jack/Ethan fic inspired by "You're Losing Me" by Taylor Swift. (You can decide the ending, line sad or not)

Thanks you 💕

thank you!! yall love being heartbroken, me too!! requests are open, i love doing them :)

-

you and jack had been dating for a year when he got offered a role in scream vi. you were more than excited for him, even though it meant you would be spending a lot of time apart. you both decided you would do everything in your power to make it work, but lately that was proving to be easier said than done. the last couple of days you could barely get in touch with him. whenever he did reply it was small or dry remarks. you felt lonely in the apartment you once shared. sitting, staring at the walls that were once filled with laughter and love. feeling your phone buzz you are quick to check the notification. 

“hey babe sorry ive had a long day on set” 

“jack we havent talked in days. i don't understand” 

“i know you don't. listen i’ll call you tomorrow” 

crashing on your bed, tears begin to dwell in your eyes.

you say, "I don't understand" and I say, "I know you don't"

we thought a cure would come through in time, now, I fear it won't

remember lookin' at this room, we loved it 'cause of the light

now, I just sit in the dark and wonder if it's time

pacing your room with your phone up to your ear you begin to grow anxious. jack broke his empty promise and didn’t call you. so now here you were, trying to piece it back together. as the ringing stops, a smile is cast across your face. 

“jack!! hey, i miss you”

“hey what did you want”

“well you said you were gonna call and i just wanted to check up on you” 

“im a little busy right now” 

“oh okay maybe we can call again later” 

a deep sigh is his only response. 

“is everything okay?” 

“no everythings not okay! i cant get anything done when youre bothering me all day. im working and all you want to do is talk about your day. im sorry but i really don't care right now”

“oh okay. i’ll let you go” 

throwing your phone onto your bed, you break down in sobs. 

do I throw out everything we built or keep it?

i'm getting tired even for a phoenix

always risin' from the ashes

mendin' all her gashes

you might just have dealt the final blow

you spent the evening on your bed, shaking with tears streaming down your eyes. you could only thing about how good things used to be. when you had a boyfriend who absolutely adored you. now it seemed like you had no one at all. your heart was racing a million hours per hour and yet you felt absolutely nothing. 

stop, you're losing me

i can't find a pulse

my heart won't start anymore... for you

'cause you're losing me

after that night, that call, you made it a point to stay out of jacks way. he would facetime you every now and then. while he got his hair done, goofing around on set, or just in his trailer. none of these times did he seem to notice that none of your smiles reached your eyes. your replies were empty and solemn. you were happy to see him so excited but apart of you hated him for not realizing what he had done. for not realizing how deep his words had truly affected you. 

“hey you okay” 

biting your nails behind the screen 

“lately not really” you honestly replied. 

“hang on mason's gotta tell me something. i’ll call you later. love you."

every mornin' I glared at you with storms in my eyes

how can you say that you love someone you can't tell is dyin'?

i sent you signals and bit my nails down to the quick

my face was gray, but you wouldn't admit that we were sick

your surprised to hear a knock at your door. you open it to reveal your curly headed boyfriend. he had stopped responding to you completely a few days ago, so saying you were shocked to see him was an understatement. tired of being the only one trying to keep the relationship afloat, you let out your frustration. 

“what are you doing here jack” 

“hey i just wanted to check up on you, i have a few days off” 

he brings you into a hug, but you stay stiff below him. 

“whats wrong?” he asks, picking up on your mood. 

“you ignore me for days and expect me to be excited to see you?” 

“ive been busy you know that” 

“jack we barely talk anymore. and when we do you blow me off in the first 5 minutes. hell you even told me to stop talking to you.” you explain, tears filling your eyes. 

“look im sorry, the movies just been taking up all my time."

“and the movies more important than me right?” you say barely above a whisper.

“no but this is my job, my life” 

“then maybe you should only worry about yourself” finally looking into his eyes.

“what are you trying to say” 

“im saying we’re done jack. i cant keep putting myself through hell only for you not to give a shit” 

“no c'mon we can make this work.”

“yeah thats what you said last time. please jack im going to ruin myself if this keeps happening.” 

you both are a crying mess at this point. 

not saying another word, jack leaves. 

and the air is thick with loss and indecision

i know my pain is such an imposition

now, you're running down the hallway

and you know what they all say

"you don't know what you got until it's gone"

the next morning you find a letter left at your front door. 

my love, 

i'm sorry. for absolutely everything. i love you endlessly. when the stars realign, i’ll be there. but for now, be with someone who can give you everything i couldn't. 

-jack

stop, you're losing me

i can't find a pulse

my heart won't start anymore... for you

'cause you're losing me

stop 'cause you're losing me

crumpling up the paper you begin to cry. 

i gave you all my best me's, my endless empathy

and all I did was bleed as I tried to be the bravest soldier

fighting in only your army, frontlines, don't you ignore me

giving up so much of yourself, you were absolutely exhausted. the beautiful relationship you once had is now behind you. 

you're losing me

stop, you're losing me

i can't find a pulse, my heart won't start anymore

giving up the fight, you were at rest. 

[jazz-miester]

Im in the mood to cry today so I’d like a Bayverse optimus prime x mech reader.. Who dies.

I WANNA CRY MY EYES OUTT. Author, give it all ya got. Make it hurt. Make it bleed. I KNOW I CANT HANDLE IT BUT IM A SUCKER FOR ANGSTTTT

IVE READ YOUR ANGST FICS AND IT HURTS SO BAD YET FEELS SO GOOD???😭😭😭

As always, FEEL FREE TO IGNORE. BAIIIII‼️‼️

Supernova

Pairing: Bayverse Optimus x Reader

Reader Type: Mech

Song: Mercury- Sleeping at last

Warnings: Angst. Character death.

An: I love the fact that this is like. The third bayverse Optimus request I got lol. And I'm glad that you like my stuff so much! Umm. I also lowkey cried while writing this. So uhh. Angst.

su·per·no·va

/ˈso͞opərˌnōvə/

noun

ASTRONOMY

a star that suddenly increases greatly in brightness because of a catastrophic explosion that ejects most of its mass.

It's the pain that hits him. Searing and all consuming that blooms over his frame. The it is gone just as quickly as it came. The feathered ends of the bond pulling away from his spark.

Optimus is sent reeling from the suddenness of it. An icy worry fill its empty place. This wasn't just the blocking of pain to keep the other from getting distracted. No.

No.

"Optimus! Y/n's been hit!" The Prime's frame moves before he even tells it to. There is a hollow ringing in his audio receptors. His mind here but not as he is running across the battlefield.

His men part and flood back into place behind him as he moves. The world nothing more than a blur around him in his desperatin to get to you.

"My spark. My spark please." Optimus calls out to you through the bond. Pushing back every bit of fear and worry just so he could hear you. He needs to hear you.

He needs you.

There is a frame on the metal earth. Energon spilled below it. Medics bow over the fallen frame. Calling and speaking to one another only the way another medic could.

It is Ironhide who lays a sprawling servo on his chassis. The old mech gently pushing back.

"Prime. Its." He could not finish. Didn't dare speak the words. He said nothing but gave Optimus a look that would haunt the Prime until the day he returned to the well. A look that did not suit the old war hardened mech.

Optimus was able to do little else but stare for the briefest of klicks. Unable to come to terms with what was about to be a devastating truth.

To lose ones sparkmate.

To lose the only other that knew your frame. Your mind. Your very soul and drive for life.

It meant a total loss of oneself when the other half passed. For when they were gone they took a piece of the livings ones spark with them. You are never truly whole after. And there will never be another who could fill its place.

Optimus stepped forward. Pushing away Ironhide's arm. He could see Chromia from the corner of his optic. The blue femme was shaking. Frame covered in energon not her own.

"Optimus. I. I'm sorry." Optimus turned towards her. "I tried but he,. He.he."

"That is all I could as for, my friend." Optimus was at your side now. The medics having moved away. Fluttering about your fallen frame and the Prime like a flock of startled cyber-birds.

"My spark." Optimus's voice was hollow. He fell to his knees beside you. Servo hovering over the wound on your chassis. Light from you spark was leaking through the jagged metal.

A cracked spark chamber. Fixable in any other circumstance. But to see another's light. Their very life. It.

"I am going to lose you My Spark." His voice strained. Broke. "I am going to lose you." Optimus drew you into his arms. One rested beneath your shoulders. His servo cradling your helm. Holding it close to his own bleeding spark.

"I am sorry." Optimus could barely hear you. Your normally tenor voice, nearly a sing song at time when you spoke, was gone. The life of it pulled away just as you were doing now.

"I didn't see them." Your servo followed a shaking arc to the one cradling your helm. "I didn't see them." You repeated. Curling your digits around Optimus's.

"There is no need. Do not apologize.I" For the first time in a long long while. Optimus was at a loss for words.

For what words could one speak as the one they loved laid dying in their arms?

There is none. And that is the grief of it all.

"I need you My Spark. I need you." The tears fell and around them the others moved. Turning their backs to give the Prime time to grieve. To keep them both safe as the war raged around them.

"I know my love. I know." You sputtere and energon fell past your lips. The light of your spark grew brighter.

Optimus sobbed. Grieved. Cried out to all those who would listen.

"You can not leave. I will not allow it." Optimus brushed away the energon at your lips. His chin trembling as he took in your flickering Optics. "I am Prime! You can't. You can't." Optimus rocked.

You took his servo. Pressed a kiss to his knuckles. Then cradled it above your chassis. Above your dying spark.

"Oh Optimus. You are Prime. But you are no god. No even you can pull back the strings of fate."Optimus's helm fell over your chassis. Desperate to feel the warmth of your spark one last time. He cried and rocked with you in his arms. Broken voice pleading for you to stay just a bit longer.

"My love let me rest. Return my frame to Cybertron." You pressed your helm to him. "But know that I will always be with you. My spark will always be with yours." Optimus turned his helm. Pressed his lips to the crown of your helm

"Optimus I will be with you in this life and the next. My soul will follow yours no matter where this life finds you." There was a surge of energy as your spark grew closer to failure. The volatile ball of energy searching for a way out. "And I will be waiting upon your return to the well. Promise me though. That you will life a long life. A happy one. And make memories for me."

There was the final surge of energy. Your optics over bright and your chassis glowed a brilliant hue. Blinding the Prime in your death.

You frame slackened. Helm spilling away from the Primes chassis. Wit it the final break in his spark. The total and complete loss. Torn smoothly and harshly away.

"I promise."

He felt nothingness without you there.

Optimus cried out. Yelling until his vocalizer broke and gave way to silence. Even then he grieved. Heml buried into you. Frame shaking and trembling as the bond dissipated. He cursed the name of Primus then Unicron.

Then spat on the name of Megatron for good measure.

Tenderly. Gently. Optimus lifted your frame for the last time. He laid your rapidly greying frame on a stretcher the medics supplied. Then turned towards Chromia.

"Who." It was curt. Hollow. Devoid of any feeling.

"Optimus." She spoke.

"Who, Chromia." The energon you spilled had not yet dried on his servos.

"Prime. We cannot, in any sensible-" Optimus cut Ironhide off.

"I do not care Ironhide. They took my sparkmate from me. And I will kill them all. "

[trulybetty]

Sunday Week In Review on a Monday

How is everyone doing? Did we make it through the last week? Those who got a long weekend I hope it was a good one! Yesterday was a clusterfuck and I had the mother of all naps - the type where you wake up and don't know where you are let alone what day of the week it is lol.

So here is Sunday's Week in Review, on a Monday edition! 💕

Truly Betty Updates This Week…

Strings IV

Sequins

First Sentence Game

Fics I Enjoyed This Week…

A Girl Walks Into a Bookstore (Ezra) by @oonajaeadira

While I’m still undecided if I truly enjoy Prospect, I absolutely do love a good Ezra fanfic and this one doesn’t disappoint. It started as a late-night read last Sunday when I was the only one awake and once I started I couldn’t stop. It also seems to have popped up for a lot of other readers as I’ve seen it all over my dash since. @oonajaeadira master list is a joy to go through on Sundays at the moment. 

Until Now, Until You | Chapter 1 (Javier Peña) by @wildemaven

This was all the right levels of sexy and spicy and leaving you wanting more and I can’t wait to see how this plays out when the two run into one another again!

Leave off Your Wanderings (Joel Miller) by @oonajaeadira

This series is a total balm to my TLOU2 feels - this is the ending Joel deserved (and in my mind the official sequel to TLOU) and in the third instalment the autumn vibes are warm and cozy, and the build-up between Joel and Songbird is soft in all the right places. This whole series is a warm gentle hug and the writing is so good - definitely check this one out.

Hungry Hearts | Atlantic City (Joel Miller) by @atinylittlepain

I’m sad that this series is nearing its end, but that means I get to go back and read it again. Between flashbacks of young Joel with baby Sarah we’ve got Cherry and Joel reconciling in present day and never knew mini-vans could be so sexy, so check it out!

The Layover | Epilogue (Frankie Morales) by @goodwithcheese

This finale was bittersweet - it has been such a pleasure to follow this story, so much so that it was a highlight of my week. The story wraps up in a way that is perfect for reader x Frankie with them both on pace with one another. It’s done so perfectly that I read it more than once. I will be revisiting this story for sure.

Late Night Texts | Epilogue (Javier Peña) by @mvtthewmurdvck

Another fantastic story that came to a close this week *sigh*, this was just  the perfect ending. This story is a delicious rom com romp and I know will hold up to multiple reads. I don’t want to give anything away if you’ve not read it, but it’s a delight.

The Window (Dave York) by @wildemaven

This was a delight to read and Heidi crafts a great story of longing from a distance that has a soft ending that is all enveloping and lends itself to multiple reads. 

Bush Pilot (Frankie Morales) by @legendary-pink-dot

Oh boy, this one *fans self* this one was something else. Frankie taking you to see the sunrise but makes you see stars instead in the back of his truck. Oomph, all kinds of good spicy smut here that lends itself to a second read… or three ;) 

sam and diane, eat your heart out (Marcus Pike) by @chronically-ghosted

I could easily be biased as this was written based on the prompts I sent Taylor - however, Taylor blew it out of the park with our boy Marcus! This was spicy in all the right places and honestly, I would love to see more of these two. This is a take on Marcus Pike x Reader that I haven’t seen before and it will be on my perma reread list that is for sure! Also, peep the Cheers reference, *squee*

IRL | Part 2 (Javi Gutierrez)  by @grogusmum

I’ve had a hard time finding some good Javi G. fanfics, but this one here is so good in its characterization. The story of Javi meeting Reader for the first time since meeting online, is incredibly sweet and I had been waiting in anticipation for this second chapter since I finished the first. It’s also one of the few plus sized reader fanfics that nails it without going over the top and making the character a stereotype. I have this bookmarked to go back and re-read this week, because that ending has been living rent free in my head all week.

Private Dick (Tim Rockford) by @wardenparker

Speaking of plus size reader interpretations - this was one of the few that really resonated with me. I haven’t come across many Tim Rockford fanfics (if you have any others, please send them my way) - but this felt like a perfect interpretation - great at reading situations, until they’re too close to him, but he’s in a process of redeeming himself through his relationship with Reader.

Fics I’m Looking Forward to Reading…

My TBR List is still a work in progress, will share it when it’s done 💕

Light Me Up (Benny Miller) by @musings-of-a-rose

Thanks to Jess and Heidi I seem to be straying into Benny territory this week and have been recommended this story to dip my toe further in. I mean the opening premise alone is enough to have me excited to get stuck in!

Double Dealings (Javier Peña & Ezra) by @julesonrecord & @stardustandskycrystals

1920’s, New Orleans and the potential of two Pedro characters? I cannot wait to get stuck into this one this week over my morning coffee this week!

Posts I Enjoyed This Week…

@shirks-all-responsibilities reminding me of my grumpy Joel (Pedro) header for the mobile layout of my blog. Now has me thinking about making a seasonal one now! September is Halloween Eve of course! 🎃

@wildemaven’s early morning thot post that just took on a life of it’s own 🥵

@rhool’s live blog of the pilot of the Pedro show that never was ‘The Sixth Gun’ entertained me while I had a tame evening watching something Mr. Truly wanted to watch while sipping on a non-alcoholic beer lol.

Things I’ve Enjoyed This Week…

The long weekend - didn’t do anything, no one slept through the night, but there’s something satisfying waking up on a Monday and knowing you don’t have to work.

Saturday’s interactions and posts were a delight to go through and helped my Saturday working go by so much quicker and made for a more enjoyable day.

This Week’s Song…

This recommendation came from @gnpwdrnwhiskey who told me it was Dieter x Bryony coded and it totally is. I’ve listened to this on repeat and I’m dying to revisit these two again, and have something up my sleeve 🎃

Hope everyone has a great week this week and Monday is treating you well! 💕 xx

[thetarttfuldickhead]

Ive got this image of Roy kissing Jamie on the head and idk if my brain wants it to be shippy or big brother, little brother kinds way, but in whatever case I Need That

Hey, nonny, do you have spyware installed in my brain? I’ve literally been thinking about this exact scenario for the past few days, trying to hash out what it might look like and what precedes it and what sort of kiss it is.

I have severaly vague ideas that are none of them fully realized and all of them more fluffy wish-fulfillment than anything else. Thought I might get around to ficcing one of them properly one day, but that’s unlikely to ever happen, so have three roughly sketched snapshots of head kisses from my fevered imagination: 

I. Hurt/Comfort

Eventually there comes a day when Jamie snaps and channels the Jamie of yore and just goes for everbody’s throats with bared teeeth. Roy misses the dust-up but arrives for the aftermath with the entire team and Ted looking a little shell-shocked.

“What the fuck happened here?” Roy demands. Ted explains, and hastens to add that clearly something must be wrong for Jamie to behave like that and could Roy please go check on him?

Roy finds Jamie in the storage room and the moment he enters Jamie whirls on him, terrible smirk plastered over his face. 

“Oh, what a fucking surprise, Timid Ted sent Roy Kent to do his shouting for him, that’s a real—“ 

Roy ignores the drawling venom (and ignores the way it makes his stomach drop and twist with the memories of oh so many other confrontations between the two of them, back when they truly did loathe one another). He stops in the middle of the room and fixes Jamie with a carefully neutral look. 

“Jamie,” he asks, very calmly, “do you need a fucking hug?” 

For a moment, nothing. Then Jamie laughs, and it’s an ugly thing filled with scorn and jagged edges. “Oh, you’d fucking like that, wouldn’t you, big man Roy Kent, riding in on your white horse, going to— ”

And still Roy doesn’t raise to the bait. He takes a step closer. No aggression to the move, just determination: the unmoveable object to Jamie’s irresistable force. “No. Jamie, do you need a fucking hug?” 

So close, he’s standing. So steady, his voice. In the face of that resolute peace Jamie’s rage can’t help but dwindle and wither. He closes his eyes. Jerks his head once for yes. 

And Roy wraps his arms around him and holds him, and holds him, and holds him until the tension starts to bleed out of Jamie’s body and he rests his head on Roy’s shoulder. They stay like that for a little longer, but then Roy gently moves his hand to Jamie’s shoulders, pushing him back slightly so that he can look at him. “Feeling better?” 

“Yeah.” And, with a quick glance to Roy’s face, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not really me you need to apologize to.” 

“No, yeah, I know. I will.” 

Roy looks at him for another moment, just looks. Sighs, maybe; eventually gives a little nod.

“Good lad,” he says, briefly pulling Jamie in again to place a kiss on his forehead, before putting a hand on his back to guide him back out into the world. “Don’t fucking let your father make you think any different.”

If Will is huddling in the corner for this one? Your call, gentle reader.

II. Affection

Say that Roy and Keeley are in Jamie’s childhood bedroom because they want to check on him. I’m thinking that Something Has Happened that concerns Jamie – probably something to do with his dad at the next Man City match – but the immediate situation has resolved itself and Roy and Keeley are just getting back together and had this whole fancy dinner planned and Jamie said he was fine so they head out for their big date.

And it’s lovely, really it is, only they’re both preoccupied throughout the meal and eventually one of the just blurts sorry, I’m really excited to be here with you but I can’t stop thinking about Jamie – yeah, me too – we should go check on him – and so they’re off to his mum, and maybe Jamie’s out buying milk and for some reason his mum has Keeley and Roy wait in Jamie’s old bedroom and when Jamie finally does show up he is understandably surprised to see them.

“I though you went on a date,” he says, closing the door behind him.

And they explain that they were, they are, but they were worried about him and just wanted to make sure he’s okay. 

Jamie is okay. Scored two goals against City, and wasn’t nearly as bothered by his dad’s antics as he’d thought he be, he’s just dandy.

Having eventually convinced them of that, he pauses and cocks his head. Does that quizzical little face with his lips pursed. “It’s a bit weird, you two coming to check on me in the middle of your date, innit?”

Keeley shakes her head. “Jamie, it’s not weird. We care about you.”

Jamie raises his eyebrows at this, throwing a teasing look Roy’s way. “Yeah? You care about me, Roy?”

And Roy rolls his eyes and shakes his head, scoffing the way only Jamie can make him scoff, because of course Jamie would fucking ask. 

“Come here, you fucking twat,” he says and Jamie grins at that as he crosses the floor because Roy is smiling through the bark, and Roy still has one hand in Keeley’s but his free arm he slings around Jamie’s shoulders to give him a tight hug while pressing a firm kiss to the top of Jamie’s blonde hair. “’Course I fucking care.”

(This one’s not unsimiliar to another [shippy] scenario I sketched recently. I tend to ponder all sorts of minor variations of the same theme, though usually I settle for just one to inflict upon the rest of the world.)

III. And a Shippy One to See Us Off

The boys are celebrating something – not winning a game, I don’t think, because they’re not on the pitch, they’re somewhere off alone. In the locker room after everyone’s left, maybe, or out during an early-mornings training session? Doesn’t really matter. They’re alone.

Jamie’s phone goes off, he picks it up, listens for a bit, nods and yeahs and goes “thanks, man, that’s fucking great” and when he puts his phone away he doesn’t say anything at all at first. Looks a bit dazed, and after a minute of that (well, more like a second, ‘cause Roy Kent is not a patient man) Roy demands to know the fuck’s going on.

“I’ve been called up for England,” Jamie says, and he sounds dazed too, like he can’t quite believe it. Sneaks a glance at Roy, as if checking is this real, is this happening?

For a moment, Roy says nothing. Then he says “fuck”, and then they’re both screaming and jumping up and down and holding each other and somewhere in all that Roy just pulls Jamie close and smacks a kiss on the top of his head.

It’s completely unthinking, but it immediately gives them both pause – and it takes them by surprise how it actually makes them go still. If you’d asked them before, neither would have thought a silly little peck on the head would be anything to take notice off; they’re footballers, yeah? They’re tactile. But still they go, and they glance at each other and both of them find their eyes drawn to the other’s lips.

“Oh,” Roy says. Bless his heart, would you believe he’s just figuring it out? But to be fair, so’s Jamie.

A moment, teethering, each of them holding their breath, waiting to see what happens next.

Roy swallows. Jamie tilts his head to the side and slowly, slowly – giving Roy all the time in the world to punch him or run off or go back to jumping up and down like nothing’s happened – he reaches out to put a hand on Roy’s neck.

Roy doesn’t punch Jamie. Roy doesn’t run off. Roy doesn’t go back to jumping up and down. He leans in, ever so slightly, lips parting.

“Yeah?” Jamie asks, just to be sure.

Roys nods, once, sharply. “Yeah.”

Jamie kisses him.

---

Yeah, nonny, I need that. You need that. Everybody needs that! I mean, Jamie and Roy certainly fucking does.

[puck-luck]

hi hi hi, i'm back !!! (i sent you an ask over a week ago abt being very new to hockey and adoring your fics) here to maybe manage to formulate some thoughts abt your writing.... but it's 3am and im watching the devils game so brain is a little fuzzy 🤭

okay so like as i said im very new to hockey, i never thought i would end up here but i couldn't hold back eventually 😭 there's just something abt jack... he isn't even my usual type but ?? he's got me under some kind of spell?? not fair... and well super recently ive started to also maybe really like quinn too so i may have spent all morning reading all your quinn works 👉👈

when im reading (and writing tbh) i much much much prefer like sweeter, softer smut? and god you write that so so well. something about the way you intertwine the dialogue with the actions, the way the characters you write fit so well into my own thoughts abt them.....

but yeah again, esp the first frat fic you did for jack in the 1k celly. maybe it's because i live across the globe in europe, but the whole frat system has always intrigued me, and frat!aus are so lovely – but yours was even more amazing than usual? i can't really put my finger on it.... but i have to say that you describe everything in such good detail yet not too much, like it doesn't feel like your intention is to be overly descriptive but your writing still makes me feel every little thing the characters are feeling in some way? does that make sense or am i over analyzing?? like this: "It’s hard to place at first, mostly because you’ve never seen Jack look at you this way. He always oozes confidence. He always watches your expression when he’s fucking you because he knows how good he’s making you feel, and he wants to see you fall apart. He’s never looked at you like he needs more, but today he needs more. // You search his face for any other hint about what he means, placing a hand over his heart and finding that it’s racing. Jack is breathing evenly, but his eyebrows are turned down and the corners of his lips sag."  IDK just in such few words you make me feel so much. (also just loved seeing that softer side to him aaaaaaaaa)

and like. "You giggle when his breath washes over your chest, partially because it tickles and partially because you know that if Jack could climb into your skin, he would." you write that so casually as if it's not the most adorable shit ever??

okay 3am turned into 4am and the game is now over (spoiler alert: got stuck re-reading one of your fics) and i really need to sleep because im so tired and i know im not making any sense rn but !! hope you have a lovely weekend !!! thank you for allowing me to read what you write, truly makes my day every time 😚

(OKAY last thing before i go to bed: the asks abt quinn teaching you stuff and being a good coach. y e s. im actually a sports coaching major in uni and i have SO many thoughts abt attractive things when it comes to this (too many cute classmates 😔) so i will be back once ive formulated some thoughts abt that okay bye mwah)

HI! YOU'RE PERFECT! I LOVE YOU!

Jack is super cunty pretty princess babygirl vibes (even when he's frustrated on the ice all i can think of is how he prob sounds like one of those cutey animal crossing animals when he chirps)

My first foray away from Jack Hughes, whose tiktok edits admittedly inspired me to return to fanfiction, was Quinn. So brother: I understand the trajectory and I am FOR IT. we, as tumblr users, are allowed to love ALL of the brothers in a non-incesty way <3

i have been so into established relationship, sweet and loving smut recently. it's sooooo gratifying to hear you say that you enjoy that!! i love writing my dom shit too (some people on this app write dom shit that is too much for me bc i'm like damn trevor zegras wouldn't be mad at me like that🥲) but soft and sweet sex is always so fun. i love a lil self insert where my bf hockey player is sooooo into me and loves me sooooo much. you make me want to write more of that!!

BROTHER iiiiiiii am living in europe this year!! i actually had to teach my students about frats/sororities my first month overseas and it was so silly. i felt like a zoo animal.

"i have to say that you describe everything in such good detail yet not too much, like it doesn't feel like your intention is to be overly descriptive but your writing still makes me feel every little thing the characters are feeling in some way? does that make sense or am i over analyzing??" thank you!!!!!!!! i actually have this thing that i've discussed with cappy (but never publicly) where i cannot visualize things in my mind? so my problem is always that i have to describe things wayyy too much because i can't actually see the shit in my head about which i'm writing. it's like this: when i think of an apple, i cannot actually see an apple in my mind. i know what the apple SHOULD look like, but i can't picture it. overall, writing probably isn't the best career for someone who can't visualize ideas in their mind BUT i think i'm doing pretty okay and your KIND acknowledgement of my attention to detail is treasured <3

thank you for such a thoughtful, detailed, and complimentary ask!!!! you are so sweet and daggone wonderful!! if you ever have any ideas for fics, i would be honored to write them for you <3 please continue to hit my line when you want to!! i would love to keep hearing from you :)

[mags0142]

Nobody's Son, Nobody's Daughter

Part IV

hello my loves, here's another part of my Edmund Pevensie x fem reader fic! We're finally getting some spice in this part!

hope you enjoy! :)

the other parts can also be found under this tag and on my acc!

word count almost 4k

The moonlight coming from the window at the end of the corridor illuminated his face just enough that Y/N saw what she believed to be tears glistening on his cheeks. Althea was sitting outside the King's chamber silently crying. Y/N tried to piece together the cause for such a scene. She figured the moans coming from the King's chamber had something to do with them. She could hear a few occasional grunts coming from a deep voice and many higher pitched moans. The King was enjoying some time with one of his mistresses apparently while Althea was outside crying.

Y/N had seen enough and quietly turned around and left the wing still in search of her own chamber.

______

Althea had listened all night. He recognized Edmund's noises, clearly he wasn't very passionate about this. He sounded rather .. upset. It didn't happen often that Edmund called one of the eager ladies up to his room but each time he did Althea felt like he had been punched in the stomach. He felt bad for a number of reasons. First of all he felt that Edmund was doing this just to blow off some steam. From the sounds they were making it was clear that Edmund was being quite rough. Althea knew he only acted like this on days when he was angry. Who could blame him? He did just lose his entire family and the threat of his own death was still dangling over his head.

Secondly though, Althea felt pained no matter what kind of sex Edmund was having. On the rare occasion that Edmund was actually enjoying himself he sounded much different than this time. He sounded soft, breathy moans leaving his flushed lips and strong hands gripping the sheets. Althea knew he would make him feel like this every time, better even, if only he had the chance to. He knew he would love his king so good if only one would let him. He was right for Edmund, he was good for him, he would be good to him.

But instead Edmund was in there, separated from Althea, with an unknown woman, pounding her small body into his mattress until she would either scramble away from overstimulation or he would finally release himself.

Althea knew this wasn't what Edmund truly desired. While he made the women squirm and yell out his name he would always retreat to his bath chamber once they were finished and take himself in hand to reach the end.

On those nights Althea wouldn't touch himself. Despite the temptation of pleasure alongside his beloved, Althea's broken heart spoiled it for him. The pain of being reminded that Althea wasn't what Edmund wanted spoiled it. Instead he spent those nights wishing he had breasts, a smaller waist and an entrance in between his legs instead of a penis. Maybe then Edmund would finally see him for what he wanted to be, his lover. He was so caught up in his own misery that he missed the woman's resemblance to Y/N and perhaps so had Edmund himself.

—-

The next morning Y/N was awoken by a maid. She was a sweet young girl, full of energy and all smiles. Y/N figured she had been sent here by her parents who probably live in the countryside. The girl looked strong like she had helped out on a farm or doing labour in the woods. Most notably though she had the accent that the people from the countryside had. "Good Morning Ma'am" she opened the curtains to let in the sunlight. "I hope you had a good night here at our lovely castle" Y/N nodded politely "I did, thank you". "I'll bring in something for you to eat shortly and a new gown." "Oh no don't trouble yourself I'm perfectly fine wearing the gown from yesterday. I'm not a noble, I don't require a change of clothes so frequently." "But Ma'am the King ordered us to treat you like we would any fine guest, a fresh set of clothing is part of that." Y/N nodded once again "I understand, I won't get in the way of your customs then." The girl disappeared in the hallway but left the door slightly ajar. Y/N caught a glimpse of Althea passing by her door. He looked inside of it and accidentally locked eyes with Y/N for a moment. Not very long, a second at best, but long enough for her to notice how puffy his eyes were.

She was beginning to piece together the relationship between Althea and the Just King although she was unsure how involved the King was in it. She gave up the thought when the nice servant came back with her gowns. They were a bit more luxurious than yesterday's gown but still functional. Perhaps they were trying to make a good impression on her so that she would speak in favour of them.

"Ma'am" Y/N asked. "Oh My lady no I'm no Ma'am I'm simply Ruth, please." "Alright Ruth, do you happen to know anything about the King's advisor?" "Sir Althea? Well not too much, J haven't been here very long. But from what I could gather he acts like the King's puppy. Always following him around and I know we're all drooling over the King but so is he if you ask me. Even before ... the incident. I believe he's competent, doing a good job you know. Sometimes I wonder if they were childhood friends or something-" Ruth froze when she heard footsteps coming down the hall. "That's the headmistress, I already said too much I'm sorry I was being improper." "No need to worry, thank you so much" Y/N quickly whispered before the older servant came in to check on them.

Y/N was ordered into the library once again. This time only by Althea. She was lead past the grand room filled with books and brought to a second hall filled with bookshelves but notably also with many desks in the middle of the room. "Please, if you could compose a letter to your people, proposing a collaboration in this investigation. I will come check on you later." Y/N nodded, she noted that Althea had no right to phrase this request like an order but she would look past that seeing as they were in a difficult situation. She sat down and quickly began writing. Composing such requests was something she had practised very often, before noon she was done with the letter. She got up and tried to find a staff member to show the letter to Althea. She quietly stepped out of the hall and back into the main library. She noticed some books and scrolls of paper splayed out on a table not far from her. The King was sitting at the table, alone this time without his advisor in sight. He must've felt that he was alone too because he looked quite dishevelled. His shirt was rolled up to his elbows and some buttons at the top were undone. He rested his forehead on the palms of his hands and ran his fingers through his dark hair.

Y/N had to admit she was a bit unsure what to do. She was well trained in diplomacy and international relationships. But she had little training on how to console a grieving man. She wasn't sure if she should act professionally or kindly.

It may have been unwise but in a moment of pity she decided to display kindness.

"Your Majesty, are you quite alright?" She asked softly, respectfully keeping her distance. The King jolted up and stared at her for a moment. "Oh of course, I'm sorry miss Y/N I hadn't noticed you come in." "I was just in here composing a letter to arrange a meeting with my people for you." She explained as she slowly came closer. "Alright yes thank you very much Y/N.." The King mumbled as he looked back down at the table. "If I may ask, what are you researching, your Highness? Perhaps I could be of assistance."  She offered kindly and stopped when she had reached the edge of the table. "Actually I am trying to plan our meeting. I have to admit, my older Sister Susan was responsible for foreign affairs, I'm afraid I might not be aware of all there is to know. Except for the basics that is." He explained quietly, obviously ashamed.

"Oh do not worry Your Majesty, I know how to handle my people. I can lead the discussion if you wish."

"No no I uh I believe it is important for me to take the lead on this. I trust in your abilities Y/N but as I am sure you understand as sole ruler of Narnia I need to make my dominance clear." The King tried to sound very polite contrary to what he just said.

"I understand Your Highness but if I am allowed to make a suggestion perhaps dominance isn't exactly what you need but rather collaboration. Especially for the Yuvak people, we are not impressed by displays of power, we seek responsible, understanding and well-educated partners to work in a team." Y/N explained looking at him seriously. He nodded "I understand, thank you Y/N, your advice is greatly appreciated." He smiled up at her, probably his attempt to seem kind rather than strong.

His smile was nice, handsome even, but not very honest. If anything he seemed tired, tired of grieving, tired of ruling alone, tired of being so very unsure of what to do. Y/N felt sorry for him and worried. She knew that grief could very quickly develop into something more permanent, something that would take over the mind and slowly take over the entire body until there was nothing left of a person but their shell. People who were eaten up by grief usually, almost always ended up ending their own lives. It was absolutely crucial that King Edmund would avoid this fate. Not just for himself and his own well-being but also for the political climate. If the Just King were to die, Narnia would once again be left without a legitimate ruler. The consequences of this would be grave, their entire population would be in great danger.

Y/N gave him a kind smile "Of course your Majesty, I'll do whatever I can to support you" She bowed to him as a sign of respect.

The King gulped quietly as he looked at her bow down. He had not realised it until then but he was very grateful for Y/N. She was clearly a very skilled fighter and well-educated diplomat. They had not officially spoken about her occupation but he felt that she was clearly a diplomat, an ambassador maybe even. It was the only way to explain her fighting skills, her knowledge about foreign affairs and her good ties to her own government. She seemed so at ease and always in control. The King felt ashamed that a diplomat was handling everything better than he, a monarch, was.

Something else that he noticed which he did not quite admit to himself was that Y/N was also remarkably beautiful. She looked kind yet fierce. The way her eyes looked at him made him burn with a sensation new to him and it was as if her voice was hypnotising him. No matter what she said he was listening intently. Looking at her lips move when she spoke caused ideas to pop up in his head which he forced away the moment they appeared.

He told himself he was just tired, that he was pent up from all the stress and that a couple of nights with his mistresses would fix these impure thoughts.

After all he was a King, he could not go around starting affairs with commoners, no matter how intriguing they were, no matter how remarkable they were.

"If you'll allow, I shall take a look at what you have prepared so far for the meeting."  Y/N looked down at the table, her voice filled with motivation.

Edmund gave a small smile and nodded "Please, feel free."

And so they looked over his material together, her filling in where she could with what she knew. They were working well as a team, Althea noted as he stood in the doorway of the grand library. He had come to collect the letter and check up on Edmund. Slowly he began feeling that he shouldn't have trusted her that day at the crime scene. He remembered telling Edmund how she was probably on their side, now he wasn't so sure anymore. Sure she wasn't attacking Edmund actively but he felt as if she was getting too close to the King. Only a traitor would seek such closeness, she was probably the one who killed the other Pevensies.

Perhaps he was jumping to conclusions, but either way she was bad news to him. Althea knew Edmund like the back of his hand, and had accompanied him through most of his reign. He was supposed to be the one helping Edmund the most, not this stranger. He bit his lip, his heart full of envy and took loud quick steps towards them.

The two unintentionally took a few steps apart from eachother as if caught doing something they shouldn't. "Miss Y/N, I take it you finished what I asked you to do ?" "I did, here, please review it and tell me if it is to your liking." She looked at him with very kind eyes, maybe even pitiful... "May I ask what else you are doing here then? Disturbing the King while he is preparing!" Althea felt himself getting angrier again, losing control of his emotions. "Althea." Edmund said, sternly yet softly. Althea turned to look at him, hearing his voice always grounded him. Hearing Edmund call his name was like a remedy to his illness. No one pronounced his name quite as beautifully and lovingly as Edmund did.

The King gave him a soft, reassuring smile and Althea felt as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. "She's helping us Althea, who better to prepare a meeting with the Yuvak people than a Yuvakian herself ?." Althea nodded, us, Edmund was right, us, perhaps Y/N could be of use to them, us. With that he turned around and exited the library again so as to not feel any more of these unpleasant feelings.

Y/N tried to ignore the obvious hostility from Altheah but she didn't have to. "Please excuse him, you must know .. Althea is truly my dearest friend, if I may get so personal. And I'm afraid he's looking out for me. As a friend but also as the King's advisor he wants to look out for my safety."

"I understand your Highness. Although I do not have any intentions of hurting you. It goes against the oath I swore in Yuvak, everyone who is working in the name of our country cannot initiate an attack."

"Well, Miss Y/N, that might be true but keep in mind that we did meet after you single handedly killed 15 grown men." The King chuckled a bit as he picked up where they left off their work. Y/N appreciated his attempts to comfort her but she couldn't let go of the feeling that Althea was bothered by something else.

The rest of the day passed rather quickly, the two of them gathering evidence, preparing questions and possible plans for how they should proceed in this case. Her letter had been impeccable, the perfect balance between demanding and polite, short yet conclusive and composed with a wonderfully rich vocabulary.

The sun was setting when a servant called on the King to tell him his dinner was ready. "Oh already? I must admit I had not realised how long we've been working I ... Y/N how about you join me for dinner tonight? As a thank you for your support." The King offered and Y/N couldn't help but smile "You are too kind your Highness, I would love to join you tonight." She replied bowing to him in gratitude. "Very well, I shall meet you at the table then."

With that both the King and Y/N were taken away by servants to get ready.

"Oh my, an official dinner with the King! How exciting!" Ruth giggled as she tightened the corset on Y/N. "Oh no my dear, it is just a way to say thank you. This can hardly be considered official."

"Well that's even better, no?" Ruth smirked "if it's unofficial, that means less restrictions." She winked at her but before Y/N could reply she pulled the laces so tightly it took her breath away.

—-

The King had to admit it felt good to have someone else sitting at the table with him again. He had been feeling so lonely each meal without his beloved siblings. Y/N was of course no replacement for them, but it was still nice.  That's what made him so emotional, he told himself, that's what was making his heart beat and his hands a bit clammy. Not at all the sight of Y/N gently biting down on the meat and her tongue darting out to lick off a drop of sauce from her lips. Not at all the thought of those lips on his body, his dick. Licking it, the way she licked the spoon. The King had to admit his trousers were starting to feel a bit tight about halfway through dinner. They weren't talking much, mainly because all conversations had to be initiated by the monarch and he was busy trying to contain his semi boner.

As it was customary, the guest got up first and after bowing to him, and showing off a magnificent pair of breasts, Y/N was led back to her chamber.

Edmund also quickly made his way back to his quarters. He had barely entered the room when he palmed his dick through his pants in a desperate attempt to feel relief. He was quite unsure what to do now, he felt strange that Y/N had this effect on him. He blamed it on his grief, making his emotions all over the place. Never before had someone had such an effect on him, not without trying at least. This was obviously a sign that he was unstable.

Nonetheless he quickly prepared a bath and slipped into it. He sighed as the warm water covered his pale skin and he felt his muscles relax. Now, finally, his hand slowly went down his chest and then his stomach until finally reaching his length. Edmund couldn't possibly hold back the moan which left his lips the second he felt that firm grip on his aching cock. He began pumping slowly, trying to make the pleasure last. He closed his eyes and let his head fall backwards onto the rim of the bathtub.

Sometimes when masturbating he asked himself if Althea could hear him, not this time though.

This time his thoughts were utterly occupied by a certain someone, her lips, her eyes, her voice, her intellect, her talent, her absolute smoke show of a body. Before he knew it he was desperately pumping his cock barely holding back a moan of her name until he soon reached one of the most intense orgasms he ever had.

After calming down he concluded that this was pent up energy, he wasn't actually attracted to Y/N he just needed an outlet.

He looked at the reflection of the room in the big window facing the ocean. He would have almost caught Althea standing in the slightly cracked doorway, dick in hand, panting, if Edmund hadn't been too occupied with justifying his most recent sexual fantasy to himself.

[revehae]

haii i know your work maybe not get the same traction they may have gotten when you first released them (in which i hope they do & even prosper more now) after the incident with deleting your blogs, i hope you know me and im sure a lot of your followers are grateful for your work, your creativity, and tenacity; and thankful that youre reuploading them. pls take your time with that bc i know how stressful it can be to redo all of it even if its just a few clicks here & there. its kinda nice to reread all of your work as you rebuild your blog :3

this. this is so unbelievably nice and i was literally smiling uncontrollably when i read it like UGH what did i do to deserve having such nice compassionate people supporting me. this truly means everything to me and i appreciate you taking the time to send a message 🥹🥹🥹💖💖💖💖💖💖 i literally wanted to Die because of this issue a few weeks ago, obviously a lot of work has gone into building these blogs and no one would be too happy about it just being Gone, but its not gone. everything may not be as it was of course but i have what matters most; the fics and the most supportive people of my followers. 300 or 4000 it literally doesnt matter… like of course the number are Great but it means nothing if i cant feel the support. and with all the sweet lovely messages ive been sent, i know that’s it there! thank you again!!!!!

[yagamisdiary]

I have a love hate relationship with the fact that you enjoy making us suffer throughout the entirety of your books and making us think they will have a bad ending just to give us the best possible endings ever 🥲 ugh i love you so much youre my favorite author ever, while im here i apologize for the incoming paragraphs but i just need to say it:

1. Idk how you do it but the book covers you choose are always so perfect like?? Idk if im explaining myself but i feel like they capture the vibes of the books perfectly

2. Ok now this is kinda personal and i dont mean to sound like im venting, but have you ever read a fic that impacted you so much to the point where you find yourself still thinking about it to this day 😭 bc that's how i feel about both of ur books, they're so beautifully written and i'm always thinking about the characters or going back to read random parts of the books (edit: i had this paragraph written way before parasite was removed okay but i started rereading eldia yesterday because im truly heartbroken, devastated, downcast, miserable, dejected and inconsolable by the fact that its finished)

I discovered you in july-ish 2021 during parasite era but didnt actually read it until june 2022, i was devastated when i finished it but also had to cleanse my soul cause i accidentally burnt my self out during the last few chapters (i mean it in a good way lol, it was rlly hard to read the last 2 chapters 🙇‍♀️ they were written really well and i felt unsettled while reading the beginning of y/ns whole breakdown, i could feel the gloomy depressed vibe it had if you get what i mean), so anyway i moved on to Eldia. At that time, it was fairly new so there were only like 10 or 11 chapters, ive been keeping up with Eldia ever since and its truly bittersweet to see it end like i was literally full on sobbing for no reason 🥲 probably the sentiment of being a reader for 2 years idk lol. Anyway what im trying to say is that your books were one of the only things that helped me escape reality in 2022, i didnt really find joy in anything and hated my life, however ive definitely improved ever since, so im honestly rlly thankful for you Amara 💕

Edit: i just know it sounds stupid and youre probably tired of hearing the same thing over and over, but i've had this written out for like 5 months and was kinda scared to send it because i felt like it was corny, but with Eldia's resolution i felt encouraged seeing all these people tell you what they think :P so sorry for the long ass paragraph lmao, i just needed to say it because i know in 10 years ill be a grown ass woman and still thinking about these books, theyre attached to my brain forever (like a parasite, ironic)

Ok so i doubt ppl will read this (or that you'll even read all of it) so if you reached the end i must say that you actually ate with the baby names in Eldia 🤭 im saying it here to avoid accidentally spoiling anyone but Andromeda 😪 i remember in early july i sent you an anon ask saying that i pictured you as a girl mom and even listed a few names, i was gonna list Andromeda so its kinda funny to me 😭 and Elrose?? Andromeda is my fav name but Elrose grew on me and i actually rlly like it, idk why it just sounds and looks so satisfying OMG DAMN I JUST SCROLLED UP AND DID I REALLY WRITE ALL OF THAT?? IM SO SORRY AMARA 😭😭 i definitely had way more to say but i feel bad now, it was gonna be an anonymous ask but atp i'll just let it be public

to conclude i must say that whenever someone asks me what my favorite books are, i hate that im not able to say "Oh my favorite books are parasite and eldia" because they're considered fanfics and not 'real books', i think thats really stupid, not only because fanfiction is just as valid as what ppl consider 'real books' but because there are so many fanfictions turned into real books or movies?? Ok im done (for now) but as you can tell im not really good at going straight to the point sorry for writing about 10 paragraphs love you queen vivan las escritoras latinas 🤞

1. honestly i find a pic that fits the vibe i want the book to give before i even write the story then i just somehow find a way to incorporate the cover

ex) eldia’s cover is jean with wine all over him, iykyk there’s an exact scene in eldia that references the cover

2. thank u so much 🥲 the ppl who have stuck around the longest always say the most sweet stuff bc yall really have been alongside me for so many years now and were like growing together which is kinda cool

3. i wanted a name that had ambrose and elijah both in it and it was either elrose or embrose but i ended up liking elrose more, embrose was too similar to ambrose

4. i don’t mind the length of the message at all! i love love love reading all the stuff i receive and the ones that are the longest stick with me the most. 🫶🏼

[destinygoldenstar]

Total Drama Danganronpa Island Chapter 4 Deadly Life Spoilers:

Tw: I talk about suicide and cancel culture in the story

I myself have never experienced having suicidal thoughts. The only time I can recall where I came close was getting braces. Yeah. So you can imagine the research I had to do, especially since in this very fic, I’ve been pretty dismissive of mental illnesses and disorders. That I apologize for and hope I can do better.

This was something I felt more than anything, I CANNOT dismiss this, nor can I sugarcoat it. I have to be as respectful to it as possible, and actively discourage the idea. Never know if there’s a crippled person out there that sees your work and takes it to heart. (That’s a nightmare for me. To have something I made be responsible for someone’s death)

I have a romantic partner with chronic illnesses for almost ten years now, and still no cure. Multiple times, they’ve shared to me their suicidal thoughts, thoughts that made me scared of losing them. They’re still alive, and they say over and over again it’s because of me.

I’m someone who has a hard time talking coherently. That’s why my social media presence is mostly text. So Bridgette’s speech here, I personally see it as me talking to the people struggling to find something to live for and never give up even where there’s literally no hope left. There’s always something, even when you don’t see it at the moment. Someone to love, someone who loves you, a book you like, a show you like, nice walks, whatever. There’s something. You can’t experience those good things if you’re dead.

There’s also some cancel culture commentary here. Everyone’s a part of it whether we consciously know it or not. It’s really sad.

I cant count how many times Ive said something whether in real life or online and I become self-conscious whenever someone has a certain response. One wrong word and a whole group of people can hate you. That’s all it takes.

In the realm of fame, either you’re a role model or you’re a disgrace. Nothing in between.

Total Drama isn’t any different from this subject matter with Gwen in particular. Something I feel a lot if people overlook.

There are some cases where it’s lies and the person is innocent, you may find a few examples of such, and that's just heartbreaking.

But what happens when you ACTUALLY screw up? Make a mistake? Make a fool out of yourself? Like humans do? (I.e, Gwen) Cancel Culture tells you you’re therefore an awful person with no redeeming qualities, and that one mistake suddenly becomes your whole life. It’s heartbreaking especially when the cancelled person WANTS to own up and be better, but the people just don’t have it.

Then there's the other side of cancel culture, which many famous people, such as Chris, use to defend TRULY terrible people and say the world is in the wrong.

Either way, Gwen was treated like dirt and sent to suffer for an old mistake, for so long until she lost hope altogether and bailed on fighting. The others could've helped her, but only Duncan took the time to consider helping, and he tried to commit suicide... so what other influence was there for Gwen in a world where she really needed a friend?

Does this mean the other campers are entirely to blame? No. But there is a lesson for them to learn here about empathy and redemption as a concept. Them hating her is understandable if you the audience want to see it as understandable reasons to hate Gwen, but did they go about it the right way? No.

Gwen Ellis is nothing short of a tragedy and a cautionary tale of a minor being a victim of cancel culture.

And the surviving campers want to make sure that her fate never happens to anybody else ever again.

And in case you’re wondering why Bridgette is the one who gave the eulogy, when Duncan and Courtney were right there, 1) Neither were very mentally stable at the time 2) Bridgette is one of the hosts with who WAS Geoff (And is now Leshawna. Platonically.), so she has the experience to give speeches like this in front of people. That and she has the calm agency to be mature about the situation, especially how she, more than anyone, feels like she HAS to own up to her mistake of being a part of the fuel that lead to the death of this girl.

And she didn't have to do that, and no one would blame her. Gwen killed Geoff, forced to or not, and Bridgette was understandably upset and could still hold that grudge even after Gwen's death, and no one would blame her. But the fact that she took ownership after realizing what's happened says a lot about her as a person.

[tojisun]

I‘m on your blog rereading your fics all the time but I’m not in your inbox enough so here I am 😚🩵

LUNA MY SWEET SWEET LOVE OMG

i missed this when u sent it im so sorry but ahhhhhh im so happy to see u in my inbox teehee <333

AND THANK YOU SO MUCH 🥹🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼 i dipped out of the fandom for a minute but ive been slowly (painfully slowly) working on my many, many wips and i cant wait to dive back in to avatar hhhhhh

i love you sm sweet girl!! i cant express enough how ur kindness and loveliness n gentleness shaped my fandom experience, esp bc i was so nervous getting into a diff one. u truly are such a gem <333