#i truly don’t get it when people say she’s badly written

[amyriver]

there is so much darkness and depth to river song’s story. we’re only shown little glimpses of it because doctor who is supposed to be mostly fun, uplifting vibes, but the great tragedy of river’s life is very clearly there if you look for it

[selfcarecap]

✧ Manipulative best friend!Logan with a corruption kink

warnings: smut 18+, this is not a dark fic, Logan isn’t truly manipulative but we have a very naive/innocent/inexperienced reader; first time masturbation, JOI, handjob, fingering (in front of a mirror), first kiss, pet names (bub, baby, my girl, good girl), Logan doesn’t always fully ask for consent but if he did reader would want it, so those are the type of vibes, Logan takes advantage of the situation but reader is into him too, it’s implied that reader is a mutant too but powers are not specified, mentions of alcohol, reader wears Logan’s (big) shirt, Logan is a bit gross 

This kind of got out of hand lmaoo it was just supposed to just be a short concept but I ended up writing 5.5k words lolll. It’s not a fully fleshed out fic (it’s in full sentences etc but still just kind of loosely written scenes) but I thought I’d still share <33 (gorgeous divider by @anitalenia <3)

Logan knows he wants you from the moment he meets you. He knows he needs you the second you come to the mansion and join the school. But you’re so shy and nervous that he doesn’t want to overwhelm you, so he tells himself he’ll wait for a bit and let you get used to your new life here first. 

What he isn’t expecting is that you become really good friends in the meantime. Yes, he still wants to fuck you but he also genuinely enjoys your company and cares about you. Logan has a big, fat crush on you and there’s not really anything he won’t do in order to be closer to you.

But the problem is that you’re so innocent and he can’t tell if it’s an act, if you just don’t like talking about sex in front of other people, or if you’re really like this. 

He hears you talking to Storm and Jean one night and Storm is trying to convince you to get a vibrator and you’re asking “what would I need that for? I don’t… y’know”. Storm says “you don’t what? Masturbate?”.

Logan knows exactly what shy expression you’re making even though he can’t see you, and you’re all like “oh my god, don’t say it that loud”. And he knows your pretty face must be getting all hot with embarrassment and the thought alone turns Logan on to no end. It’s quiet for a bit and Logan gathers that Jean reads your mind, and she confirms to Storm that you’re not lying.  

Logan can only hear the conversation because he’s in the kitchen and you’re all in the room next to it, but some students come in so he can’t keep eavesdropping, as much as he wants to. And he knows there’s no way you’re continuing the conversation if he’s in the room, so he has to give up for the night. He tries to ask Storm the next day about what you said and she just calls him a pervert and says to ask you himself if he wants to know so badly. 

But that’s kind of the thing. He’s become your best friend over the last few months, but there are still some things you’d never tell him just because he’s a guy, even if you don’t see him as more than a friend. Yet.

And Logan only gets more desperate when you’re drunk one evening after a girl’s night and you’re knocking at his door. It’s really late but Logan lets you in of course. You’re crying a bit and he makes you sit in his bed and takes off your shoes and slides off your jacket while you hiccup something unintelligible. 

He sits down with you and you can barely focus on what you’re saying, and then you get up mumbling about your uncomfortable tights and your skirt and suddenly you’re in front of him in just a top and panties. Logan has to gulp down a moan as he stares at the flesh of your thighs and the rolls on your belly and all he can think about is devouring you whole – until he hears you mention the conversation with Storm and Jean from the other day, “wait, what was that?”

You pout, “Well I was talking to them and turns out apparently I’m the only woman in the world that doesn’t masturbate and– and Jean went home to Scott, and Storm went home with someone she met at the bar and I’ve never even done anything with a guy, not even with myself. I just feel left behind.”

And Logan tells you something about how you’re just a late bloomer and there’s still time, because that’s what he thinks you want to hear, but you tell him it’s condescending. You don’t want to be a late bloomer, you just want to have sex. And oh– Logan can help you with that.

He has to do his absolute best to keep calm and not mount you immediately, but you’re drunk so that’s what’s stopping him. He might manipulate you a little to get what he wants but he’s not that bad. He asks “you don’t like touching yourself?” And you just shrug and say “dunno”. 

“You never feel an ache between your legs?” Logan asks, keeping so calm it’s painful. And he can practically feel the heat melting off your face at the question as your eyes dart around the room, “I don’t know, sometimes”.

 “And you don’t touch yourself?”

You shrug again, looking everywhere but at Logan, “I never really know what people mean when they say that. I, like, touch myself and it feels nice but that’s it.” 

Logan smiles, “how long do you touch yourself for?” 

“I don’t know, a few seconds.”

And he chuckles and says “it’s normal that you don’t get anywhere in a few seconds, bub.” 

“Oh. I didn’t know that,” you manage to meet his eyes briefly but look away again as you sit on your hands shyly.

“You ever watched porn?” Logan asks and your eyes go wide as if he’s just committed the worst sin known to womankind in front of you and you hug your legs and say “noo, I would never. I’m not, like, a pervert.”

Logan laughs, “Porn isn’t just for perverts. There’s more to it than choking and bondage, there’s tame stuff.” You just say “well I’ve never watched any.” 

“Maybe you should.”

“Maybe, I don’t know.” 

He can tell you’re getting a bit ashamed and while he would love to train that shame out of you when it comes to sex, now isn’t the time when you’re drunk in his bed at 2AM. 

“You wanna go to sleep?” He asks, failing to resist giving a small squeeze to your knee. Your eyes fly to his hand there, gaze lingering on his fingers even as he pulls them away. You nod after a few moments, and Logan reaches out to wipe away the remnants of your tears and says “you wanna sleep in my bed? We could cuddle”. 

You grin like a child who’s just tried ice cream for the first time at his suggestion and he gives you a bigger shirt of his so you don’t have to sleep in that small, tight top you’re wearing. You pull off your top without warning and then he’s looking at you in just your underwear and he feels like he’s died and ascended to heaven even though he’s probably more likely to go to hell with the thoughts he’s having about you right now. 

You cast a shy glance over your shoulder as you undo your bra and Logan wills himself to shut his eyes, putting his hand over them because he knows otherwise he’d look.

He only wants to fuck you more when he sees you in his shirt though, and he’ll definitely have to go to the bathroom to jerk off once you’ve fallen asleep. Except that you snuggle against his side so cutely, head resting on his shoulder with a leg thrown over his. 

You’re fast asleep before he can even say good night and when he moves to get up you move closer, and now he’s got your plush tits pressed up against his side and your arm over his waist. A tent has formed in his pants and he feels pathetic that he’s measuring the distance between your elbow and his crotch, silently willing you to move just a few inches. 

He’s so horny that he’d feel no moral qualms at jerking off right next to you. He’d cum so quickly with you pressed to his side, but he wouldn’t know how to explain it if you woke up. He doesn’t want to scare you away. So he pulls away to get up, and you wake up and whine when he stands up, telling you he just has to pee to which you grumble, and you grab his pillow to cuddle with instead. 

He jerks off shamelessly, sitting on the edge of the bathtub. His spit slicked-palm is starting to get loud as he strokes his cock to thoughts of you, but he doesn’t care if you hear. You probably wouldn’t know what he’s doing anyway with how innocent you are. 

He doesn’t even have to fantasise about any sexual scenario with you. Thinking about the pretty smile you have whenever you look at him is enough to have his fists drenched in his cum as he jerks himself off with both hands to stroke his entire length. 

He can’t hold back the small moan that spills over his lips when he cums, torn between hoping you heard and hoping you didn’t. Logan washes his hands and rejoins you in bed. 

He takes a moment before he slips under the covers, taking in the sight of you in his bed, imagining you’re his and that it’s the norm for you to sleep together rather than an exception. You stir as the mattress dips with his weight, swapping the pillow of his that was clutched between your arms for his bicep that you hold onto instead. You’re way too gone to have heard any of what he just did, and for a moment he feels dirty for thinking about you the way that he does. 

It doesn’t last long, of course, as he dreams of you most nights. He can’t feel bad about it though – he’ll take any dream over one of his nightmares (that he hasn’t had since he met you). And if he’s honest it turns him on how innocent and unsuspecting you are of what goes on in his head when he thinks of you. 

-

You wake up still wrapped around his body the next morning. You have a headache and Logan brings you something to soothe it, offering to massage your stiff neck too. You sigh in bliss as soon as Logan’s hands are on you, and he reminds himself that you must be touch-starved. You’ve never touched yourself, let alone felt the touch of another person that went beyond platonic or familial affection. 

He revels in the sounds he pulls from you with ease with the most basic massaging technique there is. He never wants to leave. He started off hovering over the back of your thighs, but he’s been making his way forwards and now his crotch is nestled right against the soft swell of your ass. You either don’t notice that he’s slowly moved or you don’t realise what exactly is pressing into your backside. 

It’s obvious that you’re enjoying his hands on the back of your neck and the top of your shoulders; he doubts there’s anything that could distract you from it. Except if he got hard maybe, but he’s got more self control since he jerked off in the bathroom again after waking up with morning wood and with you by his side, just before he brought you some painkillers. 

“You’re so good with your hands, Logan,” you tell him, voice all raspy, and he smirks at the innuendo you don’t realise you’re making. 

“It’s what my girl deserves,” he says, pulling a smile and a hum from your lips. 

“I’m your girl?” you ask shyly, eyes still closed as his knuckles drag over your skin. 

“O’course you are, bub.” He’s not sure in what way you interpret the pet name but he can tell you like it, hearing how your heartbeat speeds up just that little bit. You like being his, and he likes that. 

-

It’s during a particularly horny evening that Logan comes to your room. He’s jerked off twice today to pictures of you — pictures he’s snuck over the time he’s known you, you smiling as you laugh at a tv show, stretching on the sofa not realising that he’s got his phone out, or that one photo of you smiling all shyly on the day you first met him and he showed you around the mansion. Jean asked to take a picture to commemorate the day you joined them, and he remembers the way he slid his arm around the back of your waist and you placed your hand shyly on his back, smiling all adorably. 

He’s got a picture of you in a bikini from that one time you two went swimming but he keeps that for special occasions. Today was one of those special occasions, and he came all over his phone screen, cursing when he had to clean it afterwards; he even had to get the phone case off and all. 

But you still won’t leave his head for even just a second, so he decides it’s time for the next step. He doesn’t want to overwhelm you with anything, but he also just really wants you. Can’t help it. He’s a selfish man but any man would be if he knew you the way Logan did. He knocks at your door. “Yeah?” you call out. 

You grin when he steps in and closes the door behind himself. You stretch out your arms for a hug to greet him, even though you only saw him a few hours ago. He joins you where you’re sitting on your bed with your laptop. Logan turns the screen towards him, hoping to find something naughty but he should have known better. It’s just some video essay on a topic he’s never even heard of. He shuts the laptop. 

“You know, I’ve been thinking,” you tell him, genuinely focussed, “If I’m your girl then what are you to me? My boy sounds weird, and my man.. I don’t know.”

He almost forgot that he called you his girl to your face, and he smirks when he imagines you thinking about it these past few days. He lies down on his side, invading your space, almost touching you with how close he is next to you.

 “I can be anything you like, bub.” 

You shrug shyly, “Maybe you’re just my Logan.” 

He’s surprised at how much that turns him on. You being his, that’s one thing. But him being yours? Those two things go hand-in-hand, of course, but he thought you were still a long way off from liking him as much as he likes you. 

It encourages him to ask you what he’s been thinking about for days. He says it casually. “So, had any success touching yourself?” He uses that tame expression so that you’re less embarrassed.

Still, your eyes widen slightly and you immediately start playing with the hem of your oversized t-shirt. “What do you mean?” 

“You know what I mean,” he smirks, “Don’t gotta be embarrassed around me. We’ve been over this.” Although, for a second he wonders if you even remember the conversation. You were drunk after all, and he considers feeling bad, but then you smile. 

“I know, but… I haven’t tried it since. I’ve thought about it but I still don’t know what to do.” He’s got you right where he wants. 

“Y’know, I don’t mind showing you. You deserve to feel good.” 

You look away, “What would you even show me? And how? Guys are different down there.” Oh, you’re so innocent. He’s having so much fun. 

“I could touch you.” He watches you experience a multitude of emotions as you think about it. Shame, intrigue, resolve. 

“Wouldn’t that be weird for you?” 

“Not at all, don’t worry about me.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“I’m sure, bub.” 

You look around you, putting your laptop and your phone on your nightstand, “What do I do?” you ask, playing with the blanket. 

“I’ll just touch you a bit, okay? Just get you used to the feeling,” he tells you, both of you sitting up and he pulls your legs around his waist, gently touching all over your inner thighs, squeezing the flesh.

You’re already arching your back, scooting closer to him, and he lifts your shirt up over your hip and sees the wet spot on your panties. He’s not sure if you notice how hard he is under his sweatpants but no one could blame him for that. You’re getting so worked up and he hasn’t even touched you anywhere near your pussy, you’re breathing so heavily and your heart is beating so fast.

“Y’want a kiss, bub?” Logan asks you all sweetly, and you lean in as soon as the words leave his mouth. Your lips on his are messy but eager, and Logan loves that he can feel that it’s your first kiss. You don’t know what you’re doing but you need it – need him. 

But he has to stop at some point because it’s getting harder to not fuck you, so he gently pulls away, and you grin shyly when the kiss is over. Logan leans in one more time for a quick kiss. He pushes you backwards a bit and looks between your spread thighs. You’re so wet. You’re squirming under his gaze.

“Can I take these off?” he asks, tugging at the waistband of your panties and your breathing gets shaky when his finger grazes your belly. You bite your lip and nod.

“Good girl,” he says, pulling your underwear down your thighs with one hand, eyes glued to your pussy. You’re so wet and sticky already, and your pussy looks even better than anything he’s imagined – and he’s imagined it a lot.

He wants nothing more than to fuck you, or eat you out at least, but he’s supposed to be showing you how to masturbate, so he lies down next to you.

“So, if you were alone, you might touch yourself like this.” He takes his hand between your thighs, softly touching your clit. You’re leaning into him, head against his shoulder as you watch his big hand between your thighs. It looks so right there. You look to your side and gaze up at Logan, and you can’t help but just kiss him again.

And while you’re kissing, Logan puts his palm on your pussy and starts rubbing you a bit rougher, and you become too distracted to keep kissing him.

“You like when I play with your clit?” he teases you and you nod, hiding your face in his neck. Logan moves down to fuck one of his fingers into you, then two, and you’re whimpering against his warm skin. With his palm still rubbing against your clit, you have your first ever orgasm with Logan and you hold onto him as the pleasure flows through your body.

He keeps going until you put your hand around his wrist to stop him and you shyly smile up at him. “Was that good, bub?” 

You answer with a weak “yeah”, your voice hoarse but you’re smiling and your skin is glowing. Logan pulls his hand away and shows you how your arousal sticks to his fingers, and your eyes search his because you’re not sure if this is a good or bad thing.

Your mouth opens when Logan takes his fingers into his mouth and sucks your taste off them. “Taste so fucking good, baby. You wanna taste yourself?” And he waits patiently until you’ve made your mind up but you nod and let him put one of his fingers into your warm, wet mouth. You suck on it for much longer than necessary and Logan tries to save the image in his brain for later.

He holds you for a bit as you comprehend that you’ve just had an orgasm for the first time in your life. You shyly thank him before he leaves and he makes you promise that you’ll try it again by yourself soon. That was the whole point of this, after all – nothing to do with Logan or anything.

-

Logan thought he’d be satisfied for a bit, but all it’s done is make him even needier for you. You’re so oblivious to all his flirting, and he’s sure you genuinely thought he just wanted to show you how to masturbate the other day. 

Of course, he could just ask you out, but it’s more fun this way. He likes watching you figure stuff out. He wonders how long it’ll take you to realise that he actually likes you, that teaching you how to jerk off maybe wasn’t only in your best interest but in his too.

He’s a bit pathetic when it comes to you at this point, though. As much as he’s teasing you, it’s also teasing him. It’s a bit of a low point, but he pretends to be in a bad mood to get your attention.

You come to his room in the late afternoon when you haven’t seen him all day, and you’re so kind and so caring and immediately worried when you see him sprawled in bed in his pyjamas that consist of grey sweatpants and a white shirt.

“You okay? What happened?” you close the door and sit on his bed immediately.

Logan fake sighs, suppressing a smile as he pouts exaggeratedly. “Nothing, bub. Don’t you worry about me.” He squeezes your knee to reassure you, and he watches you perk up at his touch.

“You know you can always talk to me,” you smile kindly, and he wants to kiss you so badly. He doesn’t usually talk about emotions and feelings all that much, but you’re always trying to get him to open up because it’s good for him, so he knows he’s got you with this.

“I’m just feeling a bit down today. That’s all. Don’t wanna bother you with my problems.”

“You’re not bothering me. I’m always here for you.”

He watches you gnawing on your lip as you think about what to say next, and Logan waits curiously. “Have you uh, jerked off today? I think an orgasm would cheer anyone up, if it feels as good as you made me feel the other day.”

And Logan’s all like “I’ve tried but it’s been so long since a woman touched me, and my own hand just isn’t doing it for me anymore.”

He gets hard immediately when you perk up, smiling with your sweet expression and saying, “I could help you! I hate seeing you so sad”.

And Logan pretends, saying “no, bub, I’d never ask that of you,” but you sit up on your knees and say “I really wouldn’t mind! And I owe you for last time anyway.”

“If you’re really sure?” 

You nod sweetly and brush your hair out of your face and ask, “where do you want me?”

And even just you asking that is something that will stay in his mind for a long time. He feels like you’d do anything he asked of you right now and it’s already driving him crazy. He says “just next to me here, bub. Yeah there is fine”. 

You lean in to kiss him and he only pulls away out of surprise, and you’re blinking back at him with wide eyes, apologising, “It’s just cause you kissed me last time, I thought— I thought it’s part of–”

“Yeah, baby, it is. Just didn’t know if you wanted to kiss me again.”

You give him a cheeky smile and nod, “of course I wanna kiss you. You’re my best friend. I’d do anything for you”. 

Logan grins and bites his lip and says “me too, bub”, and leans in and kisses you again, basically attacking you with his mouth. He can tell it’s getting a little much for you with the way he’s eating you alive so he stops himself and asks “was that too much?” 

You shake your head, “just don’t know how to kiss like that yet.” And he likes that. Yet. Maybe he can sneak in some kissing lessons at some point, just to show you how it’s done of course, no other reason. 

You look down at his lap then and it’s obvious how hard he is. “Y’wanna you touch it like this first?” he asks you, grabbing himself over his sweatpants, the outline becoming clearer.

And you nod so eagerly, but get a bit shy when you’re touching his cock, one of your knees pulled up to your chest as you palm him over his sweatpants. “It’s so big,” you marvel, oblivious to how much this is affecting Logan.

“You wanna see?”

You tell him yes and he pulls the waistband down, and you lean closer when he wraps a hand around his cock, stroking himself just a few times to relieve the pressure. 

You bring a finger to his mouth like he did for you the other day, and he chuckles, “that won’t be enough, bub”. Your cheeks burn when you say “oh”.

“Here,” he moves your hand so your open palm is facing him and he spits into it.

“Now do this,” Logan tells you, taking your hand and wrapping it around his cock, guiding you up and down with your spit-slicked palm. You watch in awe as you jerk him off, his hand never leaving the back of yours.

He could cum immediately like this, but he tries to savour the feeling a bit longer.

“Does it feel good?” you ask him.

“Yeah, doing so well, bub. Think you can do it by yourself?”

You shake your head with a smile. Yes, you could do it by yourself, but you like the feeling of him guiding you, setting the pace and intensity. He grins and continues, squeezing your hand tighter so that your grip on his cock tightens too.

Logan lets you jerk him off a bit longer before he gives in. He’s proud of you for not pulling away in surprise when he cums, coating your hand and his in his cum as ropes of white shoot over your skin and onto his shirt. He lets go of your hand to pull off his shirt and watches you examine your hand full of Logan’s cum.

“Can I taste it?” you ask in a quiet voice, and Logan just about gets hard again.

“Yeah,” he tells you, but pushes his own fingers into your mouth. Your lips wrap around his two fingers and suck the cum off, and Logan can’t help but push them further into your mouth, making you giggle. You pull his hand away after a bit, only to lick your own fingers. He uses the clean part of his shirt to dry your hand off after, and you lie down to cuddle him.

“Do you feel better?”

Logan chuckles, “Yeah, bub, I feel better. Thanks.”

“Good,” you grin, proud of yourself. Logan’s proud of you too.

-

It’s still the same day when you come to his room the next time. You left after a bit to go to sleep, but now there are knocks on Logan’s door that he recognises as yours before you say anything.

You enter his room in your pyjamas – a big shirt – and some fluffy socks, a plushie under your arm. You look so oh so innocent that he almost feels bad for corrupting you. You come in, close the door, and sit on his bed again, legs dangling off the side of it. He could really get used to you being in here.

“Can’t sleep?” He asks, but you ignore him, hugging your plushie for comfort.

 “I… can you maybe…” you let out a sigh, “I tried to masturbate but I can’t do it by myself. Can you show me again?” 

Maybe you’re not so innocent anymore. He chuckles and tells you of course, and he’s starting to wonder if you’ve caught on to the game that he’s playing, and if you’ve joined him, but he’d still bet money that you really are this naive. Logan pulls his full length mirror in front of his bed, not too close, but close enough that you can see yourself in it. 

He moves to lift your shirt to get your panties off, and his heart skips a beat as he’s greeted by the sight of your bare pussy, already glistening.

“It was easier to come with them already off,” you say, and he reaaally has to restrain himself so he doesn't bend you over and take you right here.

You drop your stuffed toy to the side of Logan’s bed as he sits you in front of the mirror, getting behind you, putting his legs either side of you.

“God, you’re so pretty.” He can’t stop himself from saying it as he makes you look at yourself in the mirror, legs spread.

“I don’t know if I can do this, Logan,” you say, shying away from looking in the mirror.

“You can do it, bub. I got you, okay?”

You’ve turned around to look at him better, and he chuckles when he gets it.

“Is this what you need?” he asks as he leans in to kiss you, and you moan yes into his mouth. He loves you so fucking much.

His dick is already so hard and he’s not sure if you can feel it pressing into your ass, but either way you’re not complaining. He takes your chin to make you face yourself in the mirror, and he can’t get enough of seeing you two in it together – the way he’s sitting behind you like this, imagining other positions you two could be in.

“Here,” he pushes his finger into your mouth, even though you’re already wet enough, watching you suck on it eagerly. His finger stays in your mouth much longer than necessary.

He starts gently rubbing your clit in circles, and you squirm in his arms that are around you, one on your waist, the other between your legs.

“I did that too, but it feels better when you do it,” you mumble after a while, clearly enjoying it but unsure what you were doing wrong when you did it yourself.

“Try it.” Logan takes your hand, and makes you do it yourself. You’re squirming with him watching you like this, but it is useful to sit in front of the mirror, copying how he played with your pussy just moments ago.

Logan’s not blind to how wet you are, at having him watching and guiding you, and he can’t help it as he reaches into his boxers to jerk off. He doesn’t get his cock out but he’s not hiding it. You can see the movement of his arm in the mirror and you might even be able to feel it at your back, as Logan’s fist grazes your shirt every now and then as he strokes himself.

But you’re so focussed on looking between your own legs that Logan is genuinely not sure if you’ve noticed him jerking off, and the sounds of your wet pussy are louder than his hand on his cock.

“I… I can’t,” you whine after a bit, taking your hand away from your pussy, but Logan is close, and he wants you to cum too.

He keeps jerking off, and he sees you noticing it, sitting up a bit taller but you don’t seem to mind. You’re smiling, biting your lip.

“Yeah, you can, baby. Here, we’ll do it together.” He keeps a hand on his cock, reaching around you to put your hand back between your legs, and then he pushes two of his fingers into your pussy, fucking you with them.

“You close, bub? I’m close,” he says, and the idea of cumming together with Logan makes your pussy squeeze around his fingers, so you do your best to recreate the pattern on your clit that Logan showed you, rubbing it in circles until you get the right angle.

“Good girl, that’s it. So tight around my fingers. Come on now.” Logan’s so close he has no idea how he’s still holding off, sloppily jerking his cock with one hand and fucking your pussy with his fingers on the other hand.

You lean your head back, landing on Logan’s shoulder, as your orgasm pulses through you. Logan can feel your pussy spasming around him, and he lets go too, cumming over his hand and his boxers.

You’re both out of breath for a while after, barely moving.

“Y��did it, bub,” he kisses the top of your head, and you smile at him through the mirror, turning to press a messy kiss to the side of his face. He won’t take that though, so he grabs your face, smearing some of his cum on your cheek, and pulls you to face him for a proper kiss. You smile against his mouth as you make out.

You sleep in his room again that night, but he can’t say it feels like you know that he likes you yet. He’ll have fun watching you figure it out soon.

-

✧ reblog and let me know your thoughts for Logan to appear in your dreams tonight <3

[honeyedmiller]

Fate, After All | Joel Miller — Epilogue

warnings: pregnancy, childbirth, cursing, mentions of smut but not super explicitly detailed, tooth-rotting fluff, no-outbreak! Joel, no use of y/n. also, I’ve never personally given birth so I have no idea how the whole process works lol this has major inaccuracy so just go with it pls :’) this is very poorly written and not my best work at all but y’know, Joel with a baby is precious

word count: 1k+

series masterlist

-

“Babe, what about this one?” You hold up a pink floral onesie to your protruding belly, looking up at Joel. You were at Target with him shopping for some last minute things before your daughter’s arrival.

It’d been a little over two years since you and Joel got married, and you found out you were pregnant eight months ago. You’ll never forget the look on Joel’s face when you showed him the multiple pregnancy tests you’d taken. You’d been feeling unwell for a few weeks prior to taking the tests, blaming it on stress from work. But then you missed your period, and you had an inkling that you might be pregnant.

Sure enough, you were right. You didn’t know who was more excited about it, though—Joel or Sarah. You were plenty excited and so ready to be a mom of two, but Sarah bawled her eyes out when she found out she was going to be a big sister and Joel would only talk about it for days on end.

You remember when you told your parents too, calling them up telling them that you and Joel could finally repay them for the honeymoon they’d so sweetly gifted you. Your mom cried tears of joy, and your dad got a little misty-eyed.

And when you and Joel found out the baby was going to be a girl? You both lost it. Joel loved being a girl dad so much, and he knew you’d been such a wonderful mother figure to Sarah, that you’d be the best mom to your little girl.

“I love it, darlin’.” Joel takes the onesie carefully from you, admiring how tiny it was. He’d completely forgotten how small newborns are.

You and Joel both thought for sure you were going to get pregnant on your honeymoon, with the way you two couldn’t keep your hands off of each other using every surface of your room possible to go at it. You had no idea your libido was so high. Neither did Joel.

Even now, with your hormones raging, you craved Joel so badly. He was terrified at first, not wanting to ‘hurt the baby’, but the nurses at the third ultrasound checkup told him it was completely okay—in fact, they encouraged it.

Joel was tender with you in bed (and in general) since you’ve been pregnant, and honestly, you thought it was so sweet. He wouldn’t let you lift a finger if he could help it, but you had to remind him that you had to do things for yourself, too. Though, you loved that he was so careful and gentle. He was before, but he’s a little bit moreso now.

Your focus shifted back to reality, Joel looking at you with a small smile.

“What?”

“You’re so beautiful, y’know that?” Joel asks as he steps to you, resting his hands on the sides of your tummy.

You huff a small laugh, shaking your head. “Sure don’t feel like it.”

“You’re glowing, sweetheart. You’re carryin’ our child and you look damn good doin’ it.” He leans down to kiss you gently.

“This baby has made you such a softie, Miller.” You tease, grasping the side of his face as he chuckles. The crow’s feet around his eyes showcase in fullness, displaying how truly happy he felt.

“What can I say? I love all three of my girls more than anything in the world.” He kisses your forehead, pulling back from you before picking up another pair of shoes that he shows you—big, soft, brown eyes on display for you.

-

A few weeks later, you’re sitting on the couch with Joel as you rest your eyes while he gave you a foot massage. You told him constantly that he didn’t need to do that, but he insisted on the sweet gesture. It was quiet in the house; it’d been that way since Sarah left for college. You and Joel were definitely lively people, but Sarah always kept the conversation going with her wittiness and smarts.

Recently, you’d been having Braxton Hicks, so pain would come and subside. You were due in only just a couple of days, so any time now your little one could choose her arrival. Your whole body was so sore and just the thought of even getting up to do something made you want to cry. You were extremely emotional even moreso now, and Joel was taking your moods graciously.

It wasn’t too late into the night, so when Joel’s phone rang, you knew it was Sarah. She’d do check-ins every couple of days to make sure you were okay, and just to say hi. She was planning on flying back to Texas the next day, so you were happy you got to see her soon.

“Hey babydoll.” Joel answered softly, probably thinking you were asleep by now.

“No, mom’s sleeping right now. Let her get some rest. I’ll call you immediately if anything happens or changes, okay?”

Your heart clenched in warmth at the fact that Sarah referred you to ‘mom’. She’d been doing that since you and Joel got back from your honeymoon, and you loved it every time. You truly don’t think you’ll get over it, probably ever. It meant a lot to you that she was comfortable with you and liked to call you that.

You shot your hand out to retrieve the phone from Joel, and he chuckled, handing it over.

“Hello?” You say, voice a little hoarse from not talking for awhile.

“Hey, mom! How are you?” Sarah’s cheerful voice rung through the other line, and you smiled softly.

“I’m hurting everywhere. Can’t wait to get your sister out.” You half-joke.

“I’m sorry you’re in pain. Tell dad to run you an epsom salt bath or something to relieve your pain.” The idea didn’t seem half bad, but the thought of getting up and moving seemed like hell.

“I think I’ve tortured your father enough the past nine months with mood swings and emotions.” You laugh, running your free hand over your hard belly. Joel shakes his head at you and cracked a smile, softly patting your shin.

“Tell him to suck it up. He’s not the one that has to push a whole human out of him.”

“I’m sure he’d love to hear that one.”

“I’ll tell him, don’t worry mom. Get some rest. I love you.”

You huff a laugh at her slight overprotectiveness. “I love you too baby girl, can’t wait to see you tomorrow. Have a safe flight, okay?”

“I will! Bye!” And the line went dead.

“I’d love to hear what?” Joel asks, cocking an eyebrow at you.

“I’ll let Sarah tell you that one.” You grin cheekily, handing his phone back to him. You were feeling really tired, so you groaned as you moved your legs off of Joel and sat up slowly.

“I’m gonna take me and this baby to bed. We’re tired.” You looked at Joel, who nodded.

“Let me join you.”

And that’s how the rest of the night went. Joel helped you upstairs, made sure you were comfy in bed, and got behind you to spoon you the rest of the night.

It wasn’t until around two in the morning that you felt a really bad contraction. You’d never had one this strong before, and when they kept coming at least fifteen minutes apart, you woke Joel.

“Joel.” You whispered, taking his hand that rested on your stomach to squeeze it. He didn’t wake at the first attempt, but another contraction washed over you, this time much more painful.

“Fuck. Joel.” You said louder, and this time, he groggily hummed.

“You okay sweetheart?” He sleepily said, and you gave his hand a squeeze.

“No. My contractions hurt really bad.” You say, and he sits up behind you.

“Do we need to go to the hospital?”

“I think so.”

Joel gets out of bed swiftly, putting on some sweats and a t-shirt before helping you sit up. You try to focus on your breathing, but the pain is really starting to bother you. He helps you dress into some biker shorts and an oversized t-shirt of his, grabbing your hospital bag before he helps you slip on your slippers with a grip at the bottom.

He leads you down the stairs ever so carefully, grabbing the keys and his wallet from the front table by the door before heading outside with you. He locked up as fast as he could and got you into his truck, helping you buckle in. Joel had completely forgotten about the rush and adrenaline that comes with having a baby. It’d been so long since he’s experienced it, so he was trying to keep it together as best as possible for your sake.

You closed your eyes as you rested your head on the back of the headrest, one hand gripping the door handle inside and the other one onto the seat.

Joel starts the truck up, throwing it into reverse before taking off down the road. Luckily there was barely any cars on the road at this hour, so you wouldn’t get stuck in any traffic.

Joel flipped open his phone and speed dialed Tommy, who picked up after the third ring.

“Hey, brother. What’s up?”

“Hey Tommy. We’re headed to the hospital now. Her contractions are pretty bad and not super far apart.” Joel explains, trying to drive to the hospital with urgency but also not break any laws.

“Oh, oh shit. Okay. Do you need me to do anything?”

“Uh, just– just pick Sarah up from the airport later today so you both can come to the hospital at the same time. I’ll call you if I need anything else. I gotta go.” Joel’s rushed words almost made his brother chuckle.

“You got it, brother. And Joel? Don’t worry. She’s got this, and so do you. Be the best support system you can be to her, yeah?”

“Yeah. Got it. I’ll call you when I can.”

“Bye.”

The line went dead as you both neared the hospital, and Joel luckily found parking near the front. He hopped out and jogged to the other side, opening your door to help you out of the truck. He grabbed the hospital bag and slung an arm around your lower back and around to the side of your tummy so you could lean yourself into him if you needed to. He locked the truck, walking at your pace up to the front doors.

The receptionist, who looked bored out of her mind, looked up beyond the glasses perched on the bridge of her nose.

“Um, my wife– she’s– her contractions are strong and not far apart.” Joel explains as you try to not think about the excruciating pain you’re feeling.

“Oh, honey, let’s get you checked in real quick and we’ll get you a wheelchair.” The receptionist asked Joel the few questions, because in all honesty, your mind was foggy and unfocused. You just wanted to lay down in a bed with some medicine that’ll make you feel better.

A nurse brought a wheelchair and took you up to the labor and delivery unit of the hospital, checking you into your room.

After you changed into the hospital gown, the nurses took some tests and checked how much you were dilated. You were too tired to even pay attention to what was going on around you, but one nurse tapped your shin softly.

“Hey mom, how’re you holdin’ up?” Her Southern drawl was strong, but she sounded sweet.

“‘M okay. In a bit of pain.” You mumbled, trying your best to look at her clearly.

“Well I have good news. You’re about five centimeters dilated, so you can get an epidural if you want one.”

“Please. This pain is nearly unbearable.” You chuckle nervously, and Joel grips your hand. You look up and him and smile as he leans down to give you a soft kiss.

“You’re doing amazing, mama.” He says, and you nearly melt into the bed. He was so damn sweet to you, even in the most challenging of situations.

“Alright, we’ll schedule you for one asap and get an anesthesiologist in here to give you one. Sound good?” She looks down at you, and you nod.

“Thank you.” You say before she exits the room, and it’s just you and Joel. Joel pulls up a chair beside the bed, taking your hand in his and kissing the back of it gently.

“Gotta call Sarah and my parents.” You murmur, eyes closing in exhaustion.

“Don’t worry sweetheart, I will right now.” Joel gave your hand a squeeze before you completely knocked out.

-

A few hours later, you woke up to see Sarah and your mom in the room. You’d been completely knocked out this entire time, except for when they gave you the epidural. Your surprise was evident to see them, and you smiled tiredly.

“You’re here.” You say, voice gravelly.

“Hey mom!” Sarah whispers, bending down to give you a hug and a kiss on the head.

“Hey kiddo. Where’s dad?”

“Went to get a cup of coffee with uncle Tommy in the cafeteria downstairs.” She smiles, and you nod. You look to your mom who had tears in her eyes, and you suddenly began to worry.

“Mom? What’s wrong?” Your voice is a bit panicked, and your heart rate on the monitor noticeably picked up.

“Oh nothing baby! Relax, relax,” She brushes your hair away from your face, cupping your cheek with her hand. “I’m just so happy for you. I’m happy you’re getting some rest.” She grins at you, and you nod.

“The epidural really knocked me out.” You chuckle, feeling a strong pressure in your pelvic area. You wince, shifting uncomfortably.

“Oh baby, that’s a contraction. Nurse said you’re about seven centimeters now.” She said, and your eyes widen. Before you could respond, there was a soft knock at the door as Joel and Tommy appeared.

“Hey sweetheart. How you feelin’?” Joel asks as he sets his cup of coffee down, kissing your forehead.

“Tired, but fine.” You weakly smile, and Tommy bends to give you a hug.

“You got this sis. Squeeze Joel’s hand as haaard as ya need to.” He winks at you, and you laugh.

“Well he is the one who got me like this after all.” You quirk an eyebrow, and Joel holds his hands up in defense.

“Hey hey hey, it takes two to tango darlin’.” He says.

“That it does.” Exhaustion was overwhelming you, and your eyes were starting to drift close without you even noticing.

“Let’s let her and Joel have some privacy. Let her get some rest.” Your mom suggested, leaving Sarah and Tommy to follow out of the room after her.

“Come cuddle with me.” You weakly reach out to Joel, and he huffs a laugh.

“Pretty sure ‘m not supposed to get on the bed with you, darlin’.”

“Who cares. I want my husband to hold me.” You pout, and he softly chuckles. You hear him take off his boots, carefully climbing into the small hospital bed with you. He wraps his arms around your shoulders as you nuzzle yourself into his chest, his scent and warmth surrounding you. You were out like a light again in no time.

It didn’t even feel like five minutes later to you when you’d been woken up by the nurse, but apparently it’d been a couple more hours.

“Hey hon. You’re almost fully dilated. We’re gonna need to prep you.” The nurse spoke softly, and you looked at Joel who was sitting in the chair next to your bed. His head rested on the side of the bed as he held your hand in his. You smiled softly at the sight before regretfully shaking him awake.

“Babe. Wake up.” You coo softly, and he opens his eyes. He looks at you wearily, trying to wake up fast.

“You okay?” He asks, rubbing his thumb on the back of your hand.

“Yeah. Nurse says I’m almost fully dilated so they have to prep me now.” You give his hand a squeeze, and he nods.

“You’ve got this, baby. I’m going to be right by your side through it all.”

And he was right. He was.

Once you were fully dilated, they had you starting to push, and god you’ve never felt a more soul crushing pain in your life. You were trying to steady your breathing, but it was getting harder for you to focus. Pain overtook your whole being and you started to sob.

“I can’t do this, I can’t do this.” You cried, shutting your eyes tightly.

“Yes you can, baby. You’re doing so good. So good. She’ll be here in no time.” Joel encouraged, clasping your hand as he kissed your temple repeatedly. He kept whispering sweet encouragements into your ear, being the supporting husband you knew he’d be. You just couldn’t fathom the pain you were going through.

“I can see the head, mama! Just a couple of more big pushes and she’ll be out.” The nurse was trying to talk you through it.

It’s like the next few pushes you completely blacked out—all you remember is the sound of your silent screams, a ‘there she is! I see her!’ from the nurse, and the sweet cry of your baby girl.

“She’s here, mama. You did it! Congratulations!” The nurse set her onto your bare skin, and you sobbed. You looked down at her, then up at Joel, who’d also happened to be crying. He gave you a kiss and rubbed the back of your head as he looked back down at his newest daughter.

The nurses took her to get her cleaned and weigh her before swaddling her and giving her back to you.

“She’s perfect.” You cry, knuckle running over her cheek as gently as possible.

“She is. You did it, sweetheart. I’m so proud of you. She’s here.” Joel cried, and you leaned in to him as he looked down at the both of you.

“So what’s her name?” The nurse asks, smiling at the three of you.

“Sophia Evelyn Miller.” Joel says, his chest swelling with pride. You gently handed him his tiny daughter, as she cooed softly in his strong arms. She was safe and sound, a silent promise Joel made to all three of you that he would love and protect his girls until the end of time.

You’d given Joel everything he ever wanted—a loving wife, a mother figure to his first daughter, a bigger family, and a house he could call a home with you and his girls in it. He doesn’t know how he got so lucky, but his heart was so full with love and pride. So much love for his three girls, and pride to call you his wife and Sarah and Sophia his daughters.

This was really the fate that the universe brought upon you two—

One you both will always cherish forever.

a/n: ahhh it’s finally done :’) sorry this epilogue wasn’t really all that great, I just wanted to give Joel the endgame with his new daughter and wife lol

hope u guys enjoyed this mini series <3 love u all forever. muah

[sugarpopss]

Late Call

We're back Lee girlies I'm back on my corrupt sheriff shit. This so SO inspired by the lore for Lee and his post divorce with Flo girlypop written in the chat by yours truly and @bucknastysbabe and also I've had this google doc just...open in my tabs for ages. Here's the post for the dead motel I took the Plaza Lodge from.

fem!reader

Lee rarely responded to late night calls himself. One of the perks of being the sheriff-he got to go home at 7:30 and leave all of the idiots underneath him to deal with noise complaints and bar fights. Even if all Lee did with his free evenings was park his ass on the sofa and fill up with TV dinners and sodapop and packaged cookies, watch ‘I’ve Got a Secret’ and tug on his cock-it was still better than responding to hillbillies domestic disputes. 

It wasn’t uncommon to get calls from the apartment block his sister Sandy lived in, either. About ten years ago-when Lee had been a fresh-faced deputy with a wife and a plan and pants that fit-the building had been a motor lodge. Not a particularly nice one, but a functioning motor lodge nonetheless. The place hadn’t really started going downhill until they’d converted it into apartments. What did anyone expect? The rent was cheap, the building itself ill-maintained, and several of the residents seemed determined to make their units a welcoming home for all manner of pests. 

Units like Sandys. Christ, it made Lees eye twitch just thinking about the mess of her place. However much of the mess was his sisters and how much of it was the fault of her stinking pig of a husband was still up in the air. All of that to say-Lee wasn’t usually perturbed by calls from the apartment block. They were rarely a big deal. 

Despite knowing all of that-save the bits about Lee stuffing his face and jerking it to Bess Myerson-Willis still felt the need to call Lee up at nearly 11 o’ clock at night. Lee had been tempted to just not pick up the phone, but, well…he was the sheriff. He had certain responsibilities. Even if just hearing a voice from the station while he was at home made him want to groan. 

“I’m, uh, I’m sorry to bother you so late, Lee-” 

Really, everyone was meant to be calling him ‘Sheriff Bodecker’, but Lee wasn’t going to fight that battle at 11 at night. 

“You got a reason for buggin’ me like this? I don’t wanna spend my night chattin’ with you.” Maybe Lee was a little grumpy about being shaken out of his post-orgasm food coma. Maybe Lee was a little grumpy most of the time. 

“It’s just that a call came in from the Plaza Lodge, and I know that your sister lives down there , so I thought-” 

Lee didn’t even let the dispatcher finish. He was already annoyed that he’d had to haul himself up to answer the phone, and the movement had made the fullness of his stomach shift from ‘pleasantly full’ to ‘tight and queasy.. “I don’t need to go down there every time someone hears a goddamn bump. It’s a shithole. People call the police. Handle it.” 

“I know that, Lee, it’s just…” Willis was trying hard to justify the call. Pissing Lee off usually meant spending a shift out patrolling the county line, looking at skinny cattle and rusted out cars. “Well, the caller reported gunshots, and they said a woman was gettin’ all worked up and hysterical, so I thought maybe you’d want to know about it.” 

Alright, that did make a little knot of anxiety form in Lees chest. As tangled up and messy as his relationship with Sandy was, she was still his baby sister. If something was awfully wrong, he oughta be there. A sick, shameful part him-though not really that shameful-hoped that fucker Carl had finally put his hands on her; slapped her around or pushed her down the outdoor stairs. Something that wouldn’t hurt Sandy too badly, but would still let Lee finally get the son-of-a-bitch in handcuffs. Or even better-gunshots, agitated woman-Sandy had just snapped and shot Carl. Now that would be something worth getting up to see. 

With that in mind, Lee hung up on Willis while he was still talking and set to getting dressed and moving, and if he grabbed two Pepsis to drink on the way, that was his business. It was late, he needed the sugar to perk him up. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Lee pulled up to what used to be the Plaza Motor Lodge, he was greeted with both disappointment and relief. There was only one cruiser in the parking lot, and the whole place was pretty quiet; just a couple of people standing out on their porches, smoking or sipping from chipped mugs, trying to look like they weren’t attempting to nose in on their neighbors. That at least ruled out Carl having gotten a bullet in his ugly forehead.  Considering that Sandys apartment was one of the dark ones, the bastard was likely actually warm and cozy in his bed-which Lee had no doubt was riddled with bed bugs. What a shame. 

The door to a ground floor unit was open, however, so that was likely where the problem was. He could’ve just gone home right then. But he was already there, and unexplained gunshots were pretty unusual in Meade. People out in the holler loved to fire shots off at all hours of the night for reasons only Jesus knew, but Lee liked to think that the center of the county was a little more civilized. 

He rapped his knuckles on the doorframe, but didn’t wait to be invited in-just did it to let the people inside know he was there. Deputy Howser was sat on the sofa, a notepad balanced on his knee. The other person-presumably the apartments tennant-was pacing the short distance between the front door and the kitchenette. Agitated? Definitely. Hysterical? Yet to be seen. 

“Sheriff Bodecker!” Howser didn’t stand to greet him, but did pat the spot on the sofa next to himself. “You’re gonna want to hear this, Sheriff. Pretty lady’s got a real story for you, huh?” 

The apartments tenant paused in her pacing to whirl on Howser like a jungle cat. “How about you try taking me fucking seriously?!” 

Lee sort of thought steam was going to start coming out of her ears. 

“I’m not the one shooting at ghosts, miss.” Howser said, raising his hands in mock surrender. 

Lee stepped farther into the room. For all of the shit he’d done as sheriff, he was pretty good at the actual minutiae of police work. He’d defused more fights and talked down more angry and panicked people than he could count. 

“Take it easy, sweetheart.” He said in his best ‘everything is okay, miss’ voice. “I know you-”

“I’m not your fucking sweetheart!”

The woman had whipped her head to him the moment it left his mouth. There were mascara tear tracks streaking her cheeks, but she didn’t look sad or scared, just pissed to hell. 

She kept going. 

“If one of y’all would just listen to me for one goddamn minute I could explain!” 

Lee sighed and sat down on the sofa. The deputy nudged him, smirking, and Lee realized that the idiot was going to be extraordinarily unhelpful in sorting this out. 

“Get out of here.” Lee told him. Howser didn’t even question it, likely glad to have one more thing cut from his night shift. Back to the station to sit around and drink burnt coffee with his finger up his ass, most likely. 

Once the deputy had gotten his skinny ass out of there, Lee leaned forward, elbows on his knees-ignoring how that position made his gut roll against his belt. He had bigger fish to fry. 

“Listen, miss.” He began. “I can see you’re pretty worked up, that’s no good. How about you take a breath n’ sit down n’ tell me what’s going on. I hear you were shooting at something?”

She held back for a few moments, then seemed to accept that Lee was the best she was going to get and sat down. With the woman on one end of the sofa and Lee on the other, she told the sheriff what had happened. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She wasn’t shooting at ghosts. Lee had figured as much from the start, but it was nice to have confirmation. What she had been shooting at-or rather, what she had shot at, as there had, in reality, only been one bullet fired-was a man. According to her, a man she worked with in one of the shabby little offices in the center of town had been following her home for a couple of days. She had looked through the front window and seen his car lingering in the parking lot, pulling up in front of her unit then pulling out again and looping the lot. So she’d gone into the mostly empty parking lot and fired once, just to scare him. “Just so he knew I had a gun.” she’d said. 

Lee scrubbed a hand over his face when she finished the story. Some men just didn’t know how to handle rejection. Not including Lee, of course. Why, he’d never been rejected by a woman! Not that he was pursuing many these days, after the whole mess of the divorce with Flo, but still. 

“I’m not gonna arrest you for being scared.” He said. He wasn’t. If he had really wanted to, he probably could’ve gotten her for disturbing the peace or unlawfully discharging a firearm, but he didn’t really want to. He’d let worse things slide than a pretty young woman taking her safety into her own hands. 

“What if I had someone stop by here on patrol tomorrow night? Stick around the parking lot for a bit, make sure no one who shouldn't be there is hanging around.” 

She looked away from him, worked her hands in her lap. A lot of the furious indignation in her had faded away, replaced by exhaustion and anxiety. 

“What about tonight?” She asked. 

A reasonable question, but one that had Lee sighing and falling back against the couch cushions. “Jesus Christ, miss.” 

What about that night? Sure, Lee could call Howser back up and have him watch for a bit, but the dumbass would probably just upset the lady again. And Lee was already there-now that he had been up and moving for a bit, the queasiness from earlier had pretty much abated. He wasn’t even feeling particularly tired. 

“I’ll stay for a while.” 

“Really?” She didn’t demure or simper about the big strong sheriff not needing to waste his time on a little thing like her-although it would’ve done wonders for his ego. She just raised her eyebrows, a bit bewildered but pretty accepting. 

Lee nodded, then pushed off his knees and stood. Sure, he’d stick around for a bit. He could finish the half a Pepsi sitting in his cruiser and make sure no one sketchy was hanging around. Well, as far as it pertained to this lady and her problem-if they went and hauled out every creep and scumbag from the Plaza Lodge Apartments they’d have half the tenants, Sandy and her no-good cradle snatcher of a husband included. 

“I’m already here. God knows there’s enough to keep an eye on around here.” 

That got a smile out of her, albeit a small one. If he had been about ten years younger, didn’t have an ex-wife with some truly awful stories about him, and his belt wasn’t biting into his lower belly something awful, Lee would’ve been thinking she was real pretty when she smiled. Even when she’d been snapping at Deputy Howser like a rabid dog, she wasn’t bad looking-just upset. 

“I…I really appreciate that, Sheriff Bodecker.” 

Oh, if Lee didn’t just love the sound of that! ‘Sheriff Bodecker’ said with respect like that was music to his ears. If only everyone referred to him like that, instead of ‘Lee’ this and ‘Lee’ that. 

“ ‘S no trouble. I’m used to late nights.” 

Lee didn’t even know he was trying to impress her until it came out of his mouth. It was a bit juvenile, sure, but the little smile didn’t drop from her face. And he was being truthful! Lee was used to late nights-it was just that he was usually meeting with Leroy or carrying out some of that chickenshit bastards pseudo-mafia business. Lee’s preference was to have his belly full, balls empty and ass in bed by 10pm. 

She cocked her head a little, which made her modern bubble hairstyle bob. Flo had wanted to get a haircut like that a couple of years ago, when it just started to show up in the fashion magazines that filtered in from Cincinnati, and Lee had told her that it would make her look like a bobblehead. By far not the worst thing he’d said to Flo, but it still wasn’t great-especially considering how  cute he was finding the same look on this lady. 

She just looked at Lee for a moment, apparently weighing his offer in her mind, then glanced towards the apartments little kitchenette. 

“I could make you a cup of coffee, if you’d like. Or, um, I have some leftover spaghetti, if you’re gonna be around…” 

“That’s alright. I’ll be right out there in the cruiser, stick around for a while and make sure your jackass doesn’t show back up.” Lee hooked a thumb back towards the front door, still standing open against the cool night air. 

“Okay.” She didn’t offer again. The lack of persistence in her offer stung Lees ego, just a little bit. It’d been a bit since a woman who didn’t reek like the sweat and stale beer had paid him more attention than an eye-fucking. Losing Flo really had tarnished his reputation, goddamn her and her suited-up lawyer with his fancy office in Dayton. If he’d really wanted to put up a fight, he could’ve accused Flo of sleeping with the bastard. She almost certainly hadn’t been, but it would’ve made the whole process a bit more inconvenient for her. Maybe that was a petty sort of win to want. Maybe Lee was the sort of man who wanted those wins anyway. 

And that was the end of it. 

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By around 1:45, Lee was dozing off in his cruiser. He’d finished off his room temperature Pepsi, smoked a cigarette, hummed the earworm theme song from 'Name That Tune' and smoked another cigarette. He’d opened and closed the glove box at least six times, contemplating the Chunky bar stowed in there. 

All while keeping an eye on the other cars in the parking lot, seeing if anyone was going to try to cause trouble. He doubted that the idiot who had been bothering little miss thing was going to show back up that night, but that didn’t mean other horseplay wouldn’t happen-though depending on what it was, Lee would have to let it go anyway. The girls down at the Tecumseh and a couple of illegal substances all fell under the umbrella of ‘things Lee let slide for cold hard cash’. 

The door of miss things unit opened up, light spilling out for just a moment. If Lee had turned his headlights on he could’ve gotten a look at what she was holding, but he also probably would’ve spooked her into dropping it. It didn’t matter anyway, because she came right up to his drivers side window. He’d left it rolled down after the first cigarette. It was a nice night for May. 

She offered him a steaming mug with a cartoon cardinal painted on it. The aroma of coffee hit him instantly-good, fresh coffee, not like the shit at the station that comes out burnt then sits in the pot for hours. 

“It’s been a bit. I figured you’d take me up on this, now.”

“Don’t mind if I do.” Lee responded, taking the mug. Their hands didn’t touch, though to be fair, the only person who did much touching on Lee those days was himself. 

The coffee was strong and sweet, just how Lee liked it. So she could at least make a good cup of coffee, and really…wasn’t at all bad looking with the tear tracks washed off her face. No Bess Myerson, but that was a high bar. She was plenty attractive for a town like Meade-and a man like Lee. 

A lot of things could be good enough for a man like Lee.

[eddiegettingshot]

i just think it’s sooooo funny that 2 weeks into me even being in this fandom some white european hyperbolically said she’d fucking kill me because of something she misunderstood me saying about the bucktommy storyline and then all the people who are up in arms right now went to town agreeing with her even though she responded badly and in a racist way when i was like i didn’t say that stop talking about me. and since then we’ve had people saying we should drop dead, that they’d like to slap us, punch us, fight us, that we’re bitches, dykes, cunts, little girlies, trump supporters (?) etc. etc. etc. because of the very obviously hyperbolic stuff we (also gay people! hello!) say about tommy, who is crucially. not fucking real. and sometimes it’s not even because of the hyperbolic stuff, it’s because of normal stuff, like that we didn’t like a scene or we don’t like his personality or we don’t like his past. these people are fucking insufferable truly and the day that man gets written off this show will be a win for normal prosocial human beings

[tinkaaabutt]

Like A Tattoo—E.W

Summary: You and Ellie Williams have always been a team—surviving, fighting, loving. But when cracks begin to form in your fragile world, the weight of loss and unspoken fears threatens to tear you apart.

The rain was relentless, pounding against the tin roof of the cabin as you sat on the couch, cradling your arms against your chest. Ellie was by the window, her silhouette framed by the dim light of the lantern she had lit earlier. She hadn’t said a word in hours, her jaw tight and her fingers twitching at her sides.

“Ellie,” you said softly, breaking the silence.

She didn’t turn.

“I can’t do this if you won’t talk to me,” you tried again, your voice trembling with the weight of the day.

The run had gone wrong—badly wrong. You’d barely made it back alive, and Joel’s old shotgun, which Ellie had carried with her religiously, was still lying in the dirt somewhere outside the QZ. You knew she blamed herself, even if she hadn’t said it outright.

“It’s fine,” she muttered finally, her voice low and sharp.

“It’s not fine,” you shot back, your frustration bubbling to the surface. “We almost died out there, Ellie. I need to know what’s going on in your head.”

Her shoulders tensed, and for a moment, you thought she might finally open up. Instead, she turned to face you, her eyes hard and unreadable.

“You wouldn’t understand,” she said, and the words cut deeper than you expected.

You stood, pacing the small room as you struggled to keep your voice steady. “How can you say that? After everything we’ve been through—everything I’ve done for you—”

Ellie’s laugh was bitter and cold. “Yeah, and look where that got us. People die, Y/N. That’s just how it is. You can’t save everyone.”

The unspoken accusation hung heavy in the air. You flinched, the guilt you carried weighing even heavier on your chest.

“I’m not trying to save everyone,” you said, your voice breaking. “I’m just trying to save you.”

Ellie’s eyes softened for a fleeting moment, but the wall she’d built around herself was too high to climb. She shook her head, turning back to the window.

“You can’t save me,” she whispered, so quietly you almost missed it.

Tears blurred your vision as you stepped closer to her. “Ellie, please. You’re shutting me out, and I can’t—I won’t lose you.”

She finally turned to face you, and for the first time, you saw the raw pain in her eyes. “You don’t get it,” she said, her voice cracking. “Every time I let myself care, I lose someone. I can’t go through that again. Not with you.”

“Then let me help you,” you pleaded.

But Ellie just shook her head, backing away from you. “I don’t need your help. I don’t need anyone.”

Her words felt like a slap, but you held your ground. “That’s not true, Ellie. You’re just scared.”

“Of course I’m scared!” she shouted, her voice echoing in the small room. “I’m scared of losing you! Of waking up one day and realizing I couldn’t protect you. And I’d rather push you away now than watch you die because of me.”

The weight of her confession hit you like a wave, and you stepped forward, desperate to reach her. “Ellie, I’m not going anywhere. I love you, and I’ll fight for you, even if you won’t fight for yourself.”

But Ellie’s walls were up, and no matter how hard you tried, she wouldn’t let them down.

“Go,” she said, her voice hollow. “Just… go.”

Your heart shattered as you looked at her, standing there with tears streaming down her face and fear written all over her features. You wanted to fight, to stay, to prove to her that you weren’t giving up. But as her gaze hardened, you knew she wouldn’t let you.

So you turned and walked out into the rain, leaving behind the only person you’d ever truly loved.

And as the cabin door closed behind you, the only sound was the rain—and the breaking of two hearts.

End.

[quieticmoss]

So I'm pretty bad at expressing myself through writing cuz I'm pretty shit at it, but I can't get out of my head the scene of Jaiden comforting and confronting Roier during Festa Junina. It's the fact that Jaiden, through her own grief and self isolation, grabs a hold of a drowning Roier. Looking at him and truly seeing him and accepting him at his lowest point. Loudly declaring that he deserves kindness and love and she is his partner and that she is here for him. 

And I believe she will not waver about her conviction and affection for him. And while she may need time and she may be hurt beyond comprehension, she will never actually leave him until the day she is no longer wanted. (Even then she will leave with kindness and understanding.) 

In fact, until the day when one or both are ready to come apart and become their own person again, I believe that together they will be holding each other up. Unwilling to let the other fall despite their own pain.

And just, I love their partnership so much. I know other people in this fandom have been upset that Jaiden or Roier haven't been there for each other enough since Bobby's death, but I need people to understand that both are the type to self isolate when upset. Like Roier might still be a part of the bigger group and acting dramatic around others while Jaiden is acting fine with her usual silliness and then completely disappearing, but both doing the same thing. Both are trying to make a “joke” about how much of a mess they have become after Bobby died without ever having to open up and talk to anybody about it. Both are giving a show as if to say “I wont let you see how much I’m actually hurting because if you actually saw me grieve without my mask of silliness, I will become a burden and you will leave me” 

And by god if I don't feel this to my very core which might be why I’m so obsessed over this. Cuz despite their own fear of being perceived and the feeling of becoming a burden or being looked down upon and used, they are still reaching out and offering others nothing but love.

Like if I remember correctly there was a time when someone (I can't remember who, sorry) asked Roier what he wanted and he said that he wanted someone to fully accepting him and give him a place to feel like he was being cared about, and to be the one on the receiving end of love rather than always being the one to reach out. And here is Jaiden with the sun rising behind her with arms wide open bathed in the new dawning warmth, only offering love and asking for nothing in return. 

Bobby may have been their sunset, but together through the love they have for each other they are creating their own sunrise. 

 And just, ahhhh, sorry I know all of this was overly long winded and badly written and I'm deeply embarrassed by the fact that I can't write better than this but I wanted to try out being a part of a voice in the void of a fandom for once and get a little bit of my love for these two out there.

[burst-of-iridescent]

Hi! First I want to say I love your Zutara dissertation. I was in a convo with a friend who said they don’t like Zutara because it hurts Zuko’s arc. I then linked them to part two of your dissertation where you explain how Zuko and Katara getting together would strengthen their arcs and the themes of the show. They then replied, “I see all these points. I just think this can be done via friendship. I think the idea that Zuko heals the world via friendships fits the show more since friendship played a bigger role then love stories.” Do you have any rebuttal argument for this that I can show them?

please give my commiserations to your friend for the frustration they must have felt when avatar: the last airbender ended with a grand romantic kiss because naturally, the all-important question of the finale was whether the hero finally got the girl after spending three seasons suffering in the friendzone. i'm sure your friend, being such a proponent of the importance of friendship over romance, must be just as critical of kat.aang in the finale as they are of a potential zutara relationship (and if they aren't, then you know where this argument is coming from and it's certainly not a place of legitimate media analysis.)

but on the off-chance that we're dealing with that rare breed of zutara anti that isn't a raging hypocrite: i fail to see why there's this weird dichotomy being made between platonic and romantic love at all. what exactly is wrong with zuko healing the world with both friendship AND romance? his platonic bonds with sokka, toph, aang and suki don't suddenly cease to exist just because he's dating katara, so why are we acting as if it's only one or the other?

atla is a story about the power of friendship, yes, but more than that it's a story about the the power of love. love for your family, blood and chosen. love for your friends. love for your countrymen. love for strangers, for enemies, for humanity. at its core, atla is centred around love in all of its varied forms - and yes, that includes romantic love.

or are we saying that sokka's love for yue, katara's romance with jet, sokka's relationship with suki, zuko's feelings for jin all had absolutely no bearing on their individual character arcs and the overall plot of the show? even kat.aang and mai.ko, badly written as they are, were important to aang and zuko's arcs in helping them realize the people they were truly meant to be (at least, before the finale fucked it up).

i, and many other zutara shippers, have always said that we'd have been fine with atla ending with no canonical romances, or with only a hint of zutara. i wouldn't replace the kat.aang kiss in the finale with a zutara one, even if it made more narrative sense, because i agree that romantic love was definitely not the point of atla - but that doesn't mean that it had no significant role to play at all.

given that your friend seems fine with zuko and katara's friendship, i'd love to hear why said friendship turning into a romance would suddenly be detrimental to zuko's arc. was sokka's arc about unlearning his misogyny ruined because he eventually entered a relationship with suki? was suki being inspired by sokka to take a more active role in the war undercut because she became his girlfriend? if not, then why would the zutara dynamic be the only one negatively affected just because they can kiss now?

zuko is a character who is fundamentally defined by love. his love for his people kickstarts his entire character arc. his love for his mother, and her love for him, is integral in reminding him to stay true to who he is. iroh's fatherly love guides him to the path of redemption. the gaang's platonic love, and the love he holds for them in return, gives him the confidence and support he needs to fulfill his destiny. so romantic love, the right kind of romantic love (and notably the only kind zuko never truly receives in the show) would only add to zuko's character - not take away from it.

[seraphirism]

Hello there again! (●’◡’●)ﾉ I’m the anon that asked about Falin and wanted to thank you for your detailed explanation on her!! I knew she was a bit of creep from what Google translate told me (someday I’ll evolve to actually understanding jp) but not that much of one. Like geez, I knew Akuneko showed the ugliness of humanity but I didn’t think they’d go that far. >~< As much as I’d hate to say it, I’m a little sad she wasn’t utilized more as a sub-villain. Then again, I guess we’ll probably be seeing her in some flashbacks maybe (holding out hope) of elf man.

Speaking of elf man, I’m actually terrified of whatever Studio Wasabi is going to release late August (╥_╥). I really really hope they let Belen become a butler though but that brings up the question of who the other two butlers are gonna be. We haven’t had any hints about them but then again they did the same with Teddy and Hanamaru so who knows. Maybe they’ll all be some kind of fantasy related race? Or something akin to that assuming elf man is gonna be one of the four…ahhhh!! So many questions!! But please Studip Wasabi, let our butlers be happy I say!

Side note but if Belen really does become one of Aruji’s butlers then I hope he still has his cat ears

hii, I hope you’re doing well 💖! and thank you for the feedback \(//∇//)\!!

and yes! i second that sentiment wholeheartedly! see, none of the villains in aknk are written in a half-baked manner; if they are villains, they do more than enough to deserve their titles.

[unlike media, especially these days, that have villains that kill a man on screen to show how terrible they are, have little to no backstory, just a pretty face (so fans can spend money on them and romanticise them), aknk antagonists are not like that.

you end up hating them (because their crimes are truly inexcusable in every way possible), yet you can’t help being intrigued by them. ]

why was Falin so entranced with beauty that she kidnapped people that fit her criteria and sold them? what prompted this? it wasn’t love for money or material. not to mention, she grew up in an ordinary village. why did she become the way she is?

why was Fubuki so lost in his greed for power and wanting to get ahead of the Grobaner family? with him we can make guesses (unlike Falin) but it’s still not explained—we don’t know his childhood, whether he had authoritarian parents that forced him to be this way or an event that changed everything in his life. why did he want to create enhanced humans so badly that he was willing to experiment and kill children and in the end to find an alternative for the devil butlers with Grobaner family so he could get ahead of them?

anyway, you get the gist! all antagonists in this game are really interesting.

that’s I wanted both Fubuki and Falin’s past shown in detail so we could get to understand why they were the way they are! unfortunately, we won’t end up getting too much information about Falin; but Fubuki is alive and i don’t believe his story is over just yet.

[also, it’s so funny that both of them had met canonically and Falin had proposed to him but he rejected her 😭]

I’m also holding hope that when elf guy’s backstory gets explained, we will get information about Falin! since there are earlier survivors (her captives) who managed to escape; we might get their perspective.

there is no doubt in my mind that elf guy is getting playable; like i can already imagine his initial ssrs, his interaction with Aruji/us, how he’s going to be in Halloween event (if he gets playable by then?)

but with Belen, my heart is unsure 😭 I really want him to become playable. though if does become playable, studio wasabi will make sure to break our hearts with each update before making him playable.

I used to think that the writers of aknk add some soft content in the main story after each really sad/upsetting main story episodes. but um considering we got the stuff with Lato and then Boschi’s whole chapter right after, hehe I’m not so sure 😃

i think you have a good guess going with the next coming butlers (excluding elf guy) being from some fantasy race. we’re kinda slowly getting focus on the Western region, the one governed by the green-haired elf looking guy, Elboa.

considering the last two chapters were focused on and in East (Falin and Fubuki both being from East), it shouldn’t be unlikely that with subtle focus on the West in chapter 4, that we will be delving in it in the coming chapters.

so to spice things up, the writers might add non-humans to our long list of butlers ✨! I hope they do, it will make things interesting since we’ll get a focus on the respective regions the fantasy-races are from, how different they are from humans and so on!

[bestie, with all love, i don’t think those cat ears are staying 😭💗 i want them to stay too! because it gives Belen this distinctive appearance from the rest and with how much we’ve seen him with them, the cat ears should be a part of him. but he didn’t have them before his demon took over him.]

and i kinda did some research on Belen’s demon, Beleth, and he has a cat-like appearance.

so i think Belen might have Miyaji’s case going with him. where he’ll get those cat ears and tail wherever MC/Aruji summons his demon for him or wherever he is under the control of his demon (that’s happening now.). otherwise, he’ll have his normal appearance since he is human. that’s totally my guess though.

but it’s entirely possible that his cat ears might stay when he wakes up later because he had them for so long and all (?)

the other butlers don’t have their features change under the influence of their demons (besides having a red hue surrounding their one eye and the black hue surrounding them) or when Aruji summons their demon for them besides Miyaji. with Miyaji, later during his arc, when he loses control to his demon, he’ll also have his animal ears too (i think at least!)

but i can’t wait for Belen! he’s going to be so adorable (๑>◡<๑)!

with elf guy (god, if i have to call him elf guy one more time, I’ll —) I do have a gist of how he’ll be like. but with Belen, while we do have flashbacks that show his personality, I’m not sure that’s exactly how he’ll be like when he wakes up.

he’s been sleeping for 2000+ years in this state where his demon has full control over him (and we do know demons try to weaken the butlers by showing them nightmares or showing them good dreams so they can lose their grip on reality and yield to their demon). so when Belen wakes up, he’s going to have gone through hell 😭 so I think he won’t exactly be the cute, reliable person he was before his demon took control of him.

i think he might even have problem with communicating, even basic tasks like eating and walking to a certain extent at least. he hasn’t performed them in 2000+ years. yes, he was frozen in time but they should show some signs of having trouble with his daily tasks etc (please studio wasabi, I’m begging you 🥺)

that would make for some very interesting content too! from being the reliable older-brother-figure to now having trouble with everything and relying on people around you. I hope after his case is wrapped up (he’s woken up and all) we get some focus on his life in the devil’s palace and his interaction with everyone (like a 5.5 chapter?).

[i forgot to add; i also don’t understand Japanese, in case if I’m giving the impression that i do! i understand it like at an N5 level but i studied it at home. that’s why i hope i don’t give the impression that my explanations have no chance of being wrong somewhere; i rely on deepl and other tools like that too 😭 i hope we both end up learning it completely someday somewhere in the future…]

anyway, it was lovely talking to you, anon (*≧∀≦*)💞!! i can’t wait for the next update (and I’ll talk everyone’s ears off on tumblr) so let me know your thoughts when you get around to reading it ✨! i might post an explanation of the updates for people who don’t have the time to read the main story update.

i am manifesting those cat-ears on Belen 😀 and for him to become a butler; if they don’t, we’re going to raid studio wasabi’s headquarters by dawn ✨/j and i need more content about Falin! in elf guy’s content, we better get information about her.

have a wonderful day, anon (*^▽^*)💖! looking forward to your thoughts on the main story (whenever it drops!)

[deeranon]

Aquaphobia ~ A Furina Story

Chapter: Special

Warning: badly written angst and identity issues, that’s really it

@idkfitememate hope you’re ready because I think I flopped halfway through—don’t know how proud I am of it but at least it’s out? I’m proud about getting it out at least!

Hope you like it, at least :)

___

Furina loved the people of Fontaine deeper than any ocean on Teyvat. But she could not say the same for herself. Five hundred years of acting was bound to corrode the girl that Furina once was into little pieces eventually.

And so, Furina sat in her dull bed like a doll left to its thoughts while the owner was away.

Because that was truly what she was when you looked at it, wasn’t it? A doll in a body that was never supposed to be her own. Sure, people said she was human. But they didn’t know what Furina knew.

Her body wasn’t her own.

It never was. And probably never will be.

A trail of shattered mirror shards led from the bathroom and onto the stone tiled floor, but Furina didn’t bother to pick up the pieces. White hair with natural blue streaks that faded to an ever-present dim glow was scattered on the cold bathroom floor.

Furina bled from hands that did not feel like her own. Furina never had a reason to take the gloves off for the first few years of her act, but ever since the day curiosity overtook her, she wished the gloves could have been glued to them like there was nothing underneath.

The hands were like the hair that Furina had cut off.

Fading to two different hues of blue, the left one a blue so dark it was reminiscent of the midnight zone in the ocean, while the right faded to a soft icy blue like the sky and clouds had blended together. Thick and thin streaks a shade lighter than the blue of each hand reminded Furina of rock patterns swirled around the fingers,giving the hands an already unnatural glow that seemed to hide just under the skin where the patterns lay.

Furina wished she could cut off the hands just as she did the hair. As if in retaliation for Furina not being the true owner of the body, the wounds on the hands stung like millions of small needles set on fire. But Furina did not bother bandaging the injuries obtained from breaking the mirror. She simply sat on the bed in the new apartment and stared at the waning moon.

Because what else was there to do? Go outside when the sun rises and act as if everything is okay and totally normal? Ha. What a joke. She was sure to be a living embarrassment. If Furina could even call this life. There would be pointed fingers and eyes and she would become a laughingstock. And absolutely no one would or will take her seriously again after what happened at her trial. So what was the point?

Furina slumped into cushy pillows and blankets that made her sick as she remembered the knave’s words. Standing idle. Doing nothing. Failed.

Furina had been furious at the younger woman for her behavior, and had almost completely lost her mask in front of the Traveler and Paimon, who Furina wished to never see again.

Now, Furina just felt blank thinking back on it.

What was the use of getting angry? That wasn’t even her Arlecchino was talking to. It was her masked act, focalors.

If Furina was so insistent about being free from her act, how come she couldn’t seem to let it go?

Was this what other humans called a hypocrite?

Maybe it was because she didn’t truly feel like…whoever she was supposed to be if she wasn’t acting as focalors.

The little girl living her first day of life, innocent and kind, had been oblivious of the pain to come. Maybe that was the true Furina. Who she was. Not “focalors” or the god of justice. Her.

But deep in Furina’s unowned heart, she knew that little girl had been killed by her own hands just to sell the part of god of justice. The girl, wide eyed and curious about life, now laid dead. Torn to shreds by the demands of humanity and the expectations of the true Focalors.

But Furina knew she had been the one to choke the girl to her end.

It was all for Fontaine. Furina thought as she stood over the girl’s body. Yet she did not realize how the body that held her lacking human mind cried without her knowing once again.

But the act is over now, and there is nothing left of you. You are unneeded. You have completed what you were solely made for. Now what? Furina’s mind echoed in the silence. Her brain could not give her an answer. It was simply too tired to think straight.

Five hundred years of meticulously planning every step, every smile, every reaction, every answer, wore her mind down until it turned numb to the needs of true emotion. The only emotions that remained above the tides were fear and exhaustion.

All Furina wanted to do was rest, yet she had always been terrified of the thought of letting her mind sink beneath the waves for so long. At some point in her act, Furina had dubbed sleep overrated and used the cold nights to plan the months and years ahead as she struggled to stop the ever-present prophecy. A prophecy she was told to prevent by the reflection in the mirror, when the reflection knew it couldn’t be prevented at all. The reflection that had lied.

Now, Furina wanted to sleep without fear on the second day of her life. But her mind still raced with unwanted thoughts of terror. And probably from the pain of wounded hands.

Furina knew she was going to have to get rid of the now bloody sheets in the morning, so Furina might as well get it over with now, right?

She stood on shaky ombré blue feet and yanked the thin bedsheets stained with blood off of the mattress, scattering pillows and crumpled piles of blankets everywhere. The wounds screamed in protest as she carried the sheets without even a single wince as the cloth rubbed against open skin.

Furina walked out of the bedroom and into the kitchen, feet already numb from the chilly tiled floor. She headed straight for the sink and dropped the crumbled ball of bedsheets into the basin before reaching for one of the faucet handles, only to pause the moment before skin touched metal.

The sound of rushing water filled her mind, and she stepped away from the sink with a sharp intake of breath.

Furina gagged as bile rose in her borrowed throat and rushed to the bathroom, uncaring for the glass shards digging into the soles of dark and light blue feet but fully aware of the sound of cracking glass. The sound echoed in her mind, reminding her of that day like a movie film stuck on repeat.

Whatever little food Furina had consumed the day before emptied itself into the toilet as Furina hunched over with tear blurred vision. Soft white hair brushed against a leg and only made Furina gag harder as she tried to control the sobbing. She wretched into the toilet once more. The sound of crunching glass only made her cry harder.

No.

No.

No.

Not again.

Furina’s mind screamed as its thoughts looped over and over again. Stuck in a never ending cycle.

Water.

Flood.

Prophecy.

Fake.

Water.

Flood.

Prophecy.

Fake.

Fake.

Fake.

Furina closed off her sense of vision in a desperate attempt to calm down while she quaked. Body trembling like a flower in the middle of a windstorm. Furina knew she was supposed to do something to calm down somehow. But what was she supposed to do again? Furina couldn’t remember. Just like she couldn’t remember anything from before her single magical meeting in this world. Why was she so forgetful? Why can’t she remember?

Shaky hands released the rim of the bile filled toilet to clamp around arms that were trembling just as much as the hands. Like all those years ago.

Everything was so cold.

Where was the warmth? It’s so cold here…

So cold…Furina was cold. The body she inhabited gave no warmth, it was like the iciest depths of the ocean personified. Furina hated it. Furina hated this body. It was so cold, why did it have to be cold? Why?

Why couldn’t it feel warm? Like a normal human that everyone claimed she was? Even when Furina knew she was anything but.

All Furina wished for now was for something in this world to protect her from the eternal cold, even for a single minute. Was that so wrong?

Yes, a shard of her mask whispered. Because you are the one who gives up your warmth for others no matter the cost.

Furina wished for something to share its warmth with her, for something to ward off the empty feeling where a heart was supposed to be. But in the end she knew this was all wishful thinking.

Limp hands brushed against jagged shards, but Furina did not wince. For she could not feel. Her borrowed body was wholly and completely cold. Fingers subconsciously reached out and gripped a shard of mirror, testing if she could feel as already open wounds deepened enough to scar. But there was no reaction.

Furina felt numb.

The glass started to crack as the grip on it tightened.

Furina felt cold.

New trails of blood seeped from a dark blue hand littered with wounds.

Furina felt willing to accept that she had no protector to shield her from the cold, from her fears, and from herself.

The shard dug into a midnight stained hand slicked with blood. But the longer the mind ignored the pain the harsher the grip on the dagger-like piece of mirror became.

The hand held on tighter.

And tighter.

And tighter.

And then, there was nothing.

Furina felt something wrap around the left wrist that was now covered in blood and reopened her vision to find out what it was. Because it felt warm.

Furina almost didn’t know what she was staring at. It looked like a boy, but at the same time it wasn’t a boy at all.

It looked like a boy made of some kind of water; soft pink and gentle purple and blue liquids sloshed together with glitter floating in the water in clusters like stars at night, making it nearly opaque but not quite.

The thing cradled the shard-embedded hand like it was made of glass, tilting its faceless head down to somehow stare sadly at the wounded appendage. It rubbed gentle circles into the dark blue skin before looking up at Furina and staring into heterochromatic eyes.

Furina stared back, noticing how its uneven bluish-pink water hair fell over its face while the rest was pulled into a long shoulder ponytail that shimmered with a dark blue bow also made from glittery water.

But none of that really mattered to Furina, because she wanted to know who it was and why it was here. Did it want something from her?

“Who are you?” Furina whispered hoarsely. There was no verbal reply.

The thing simply leaned forward and wrapped its arms around shaky shoulders in a hug filled with such tenderness Furina completely froze. She did not pull away and scream, nor did she push the water-creature back and run for the front door to escape from the supposed intruder. She just sat there, frozen as the thing carded its watery but somehow firm fingers through short white hair.

Because this was the first time Furina had ever been given a hug. And she didn’t know how to react or what to do.

Furina felt safe in the entity’s embrace, she felt warm. Like sunlight was streaming through a window and straight into Furina’s soul.

Furina felt protected, for the very first time in her life.

And so, Furina unknowingly started to cry. Not from sadness, but for joy.

Bloodied hands moved on their own and gripped at the entity’s shoulders as tears streamed down to the even bloodier ground. The thing didn’t seem to mind and only held Furina tighter, rubbing circles into shaking shoulders with one hand while the other continued to card through messily cut white hair. The thing couldn’t speak verbally in common tongue, or really it couldn’t speak verbally at all, but Furina could feel as it shushed and consoled her in a language all its own.

And in that moment, Furina thought of a name:

Jamarie.

The prince that protects others with the soul of a warrior.

Yes, that name fits it well. Furina thought as the world grew blurry and she welcomed sleep with ease while being cradled in Jamarie’s warm arms.

And for the first time in more than five hundred years, Furina dreamed peacefully.

[novaksupremacy]

The Veiled Law of Affection- Chapter 2

The Veiled Law of Affection- Chapter Two

by PKJ @novaksupremacy

Takes place during the events of S5E8 “Abomination” with a brief mention of “Coerced” There's a little more context from the episode in this chapter since it touches on the issue of homophobia and helps establish more of the couple's relationship. Hope you enjoy!😊

angst, unapologetic smut, mentions of homophobia, typical SVU case talk

pairing Casey Novak x Olivia Benson

Read Part 1

Word Count: 5143

Liv and Elliot had just caught a new case. A young man had been tossed out with the trash. They had so far uncovered that he belonged to a conversion therapy program called ReGenesis and were now searching his apartment for some sense of who this man truly was.

“Me and Phil, Thousand Islands, June ’03. They’re happy.” Liv furrowed her brow, read the note on the back, and handed the picture to her partner.

“Unless he was the one he spent his last night with,” Elliot mulled, “Look at this,” he picked up a few envelopes from the drawer, “Four letters from Derek Singer, all unopened. I guess he was telling the truth.” He shrugged and put the envelopes back down on top of the stack.

Liv continued to search but could feel the anxiety bubbling up inside her, she trusted Elliot and she wanted so badly to tell him what had been going on with her, with Casey. She just- couldn’t bring herself to say it out loud. She knew there was no written rule forbidding what they had but if people knew it would change everything for them, their whole work life dynamic would come to a screeching halt.  “Those two were depressing. Trying to convince themselves and everyone else that they were happy.”

“Maybe they are,” Elliot shrugged,

“El you can’t tell me that repressing your sexual desires makes a gay person a good Christian.” She swallowed hard; she didn’t really grow up in any faith group but knew this was something that Casey struggled with from time to time.

“I don’t know, maybe some people choose to be gay, others choose to be straight?” he mused as he continued to work through piles of paperwork and letters on top of the victim’s dresser.

The brunette scoffed, “Oh so you chose to be straight,” she really hoped he didn’t mean this from a place of harm, she needed to trust him and know that he’d have her back.

“Me? Nooo,” he chuckled, “Check out these death threats, somehow I don’t think those are direct quotes.”

*  *   *  *  *  *

Upon figuring out that the death threats were being made by none other Reverend Shaw, the leader of one of the most homophobic “churches” in the country, the group had a brief encounter with him at the funeral of the deceased, and he was promptly arrested.

The squad was getting ready to gather in the bullpen to go over all the evidence they had against Reverend Shaw with Casey to see if they had enough to indict. Elliot walked by on the phone with Kathy deciding what to do for dinner. Fin leaned back in his chair chewing on his coffee straw listening to Munch drone on about his latest conspiracy theory.

"I'm telling you man, you better take your money out now, when the first of the year comes it's going to be chaos." John said waving his hands and continuing to prattle.

Something else had caught Fin's attention and he had already tuned his partner out about 10 mins ago. "Yeah man, I feel you." His gaze deviated to the bullpen’s coffee area.

Liv was struggling to get a new sugar cannister down from the top shelf, even attempting to stand on her tiptoes and coax it towards her with the tips of her fingers. Casey walked in right around this time and looked at Liv, then to the rest of the squad, and rolled her eyes. She tossed down her briefcase on to the desk and walked up behind the detective, trying to remain collected and resist the urge grab a handful of the attractive brunette. She was taller, if only slightly, with a longer arm span and reached over the detective’s back, brushing her fingertips against Liv's hand, and pressing against her subtly.

"Why don't you let Daddy take care of that for you, hmm" she whispered as quiet as audibly possible in the brunette's ear.

This caused a full-body reaction from Liv which resulted in her knocking over the cup, spilling some of her coffee onto the counter.

"Oh, I'm so sorry Detective! Did I scare you? You just looked like you were struggling there." Casey feigned remorse, doing her best to stifle a giggle. "Let me help you clean that up."

She grabbed some napkins and both women leaned over the mess, wiping it up.

"Why did you do that?" Liv chuckled low through gritted teeth.

"Couldn't help myself." the redhead smirked. "It was safer than what I wanted to do."

Liv stopped wiping and hung her head, "Are you trying to kill me?" Both women chortling at this point.

"I've got a few briefs to finish but I'll come over later?"

"That'd be great, yeah."

The straw fell from Fin's mouth in disbelief. "I must be trippin', did Novak just say "Daddy"?" he asked himself softly, confused at what he was witnessing.

Munch who had still been talking this entire time, turned his head towards his partner, "What?"

Tutuola snapped back to focus, "What? Nothin' man, nothin."

Everyone finished their respective menial tasks and settled in for the meeting. Liv sat at her desk and Casey sat on Elliots desk next to Fin facing Cragen and Munch. Liv tried not to pay too much attention to the fact that she has a perfect sideview of the woman she had been seeing regularly for the past few weeks now.

Munch laughed as they started going over the reverend’s interrogation, “I love that guy,” he said incredulously, “I want to invite him to the Christmas party.”

Cragen paced back and forth, “The Lord spoke to him. The Lord sent an angel to talk to the mother of his only son, but He spoke to Reverend Shaw.” He scoffed, shaking his head.

Casey smirked at the captain’s sarcasm and Fin chuckled out a response, turning to Liv, “He’s a very special guy,”

About halfway through the conversation Casey realized she was directly in Liv's line of view and decided this was the perfect opportunity to give the detective something to look forward to tonight. She continued her attention on everyone else but took her index and middle fingers and began to slowly, mindlessly trace small circles on the wood of the desk and then stroke back and forth, her fingers curled ever so lightly.

The brunette noticed her doing this almost immediately, it was almost impossible to keep her cheeks from being flushed. She was nervous that if she stood up, she wouldn't be the only one to notice how wet she had just become. She shifted in her seat, “How’s his alibi?” she inquired and cleared her throat.

The captain sighed, “Danville PD confirmed it, had their hands full with another picket organized by the Reverend the night of Reed’s murder.

The young ADA shook her head, “Then he’s nothing to us. Cut him and the rest of his people loose.” She ceased the movement with her fingers as she said this.

Liv looked at her, she was trying so hard to concentrate, she couldn’t let this interfere with doing her job. “He targeted Reed. One of his followers could’ve taken him seriously.”

The redhead tried not to stare too intently, she and the detective were having similar issues, “If you can connect him with one of the members of Shaw’s congregation, I might be able to get him on the fighting words doctrine. Til then the first amendment says he can enjoy his civil liberties like everybody else.” She scrunched up her face, knowing full well it sucked that this man was allowed to say and do these horrible things about people like her under the letter of the law.

Cragen pulled the coffee straw from his mouth as the conversation continued, “What did you get from the people at Reed’s funeral?”

Fin sighed heavily, “Not much. After the fight broke out a bunch of people left before we got their names.” He got up and walked over towards Munch.

“Yeah, but we got their pictures,” Munch stated calmly, holding up a very professional looking camera.

“Where the hell is that from?” The captain inquired, knowing he was about to get agitated.

“One of Reverend Shaw’s church members, he must’ve left it behind.”

Casey stood up and headed for the door. "I didn't hear that!" she shot back at Munch and shook her head. She made sure to catch Liv's eye and nod. The nod, a silent promise of "I'll see you later."

Fin looked up in time to catch this small exchange. "Did I get dosed? I'm definitely not trippin'."

*   *    *    *    *

"Hey Counselor, I just wanted to drop off those DD-5s you wanted" Liv said leaning against the door frame of Casey's office, just in case anyone was in earshot.

The redhead looked up from her desk, she grinned, "Hey Detective, I wasn't expecting those tonight but come in, close the door, I have a few things to go over with you since you're here."

Liv shut the door behind her and closed the blinds. Casey got up from her desk and walked over. She leaned her whole body against the brunette.

"Hi," she was still in shock to see Olivia. She wasn't expecting to see her until later.

"Hi."

"What're you doing here? Not that I'm complaining." She took a firm hold of Liv's neck, grabbing a fistful of her soft locks and kissed her passionately. She sank into the detective, all the day’s stress melted from her shoulders.

"I," Liv panted, trying to keep her voice hushed as Casey trailed kisses down her neck, "couldn't wait for later." She grabbed Casey's hand and slid it down her waistband and guided it into her slick.

The redhead whimpered as Liv immediately tightened around her fingers. She thrust hard into the brunette, slamming her back against the door. The detective gasped and pulled the collar of Casey's shirt to bring her in for a kiss. Casey obliged, kissing Liv hard, biting her lower lip, she excited her lover with more slow, hard thrusts.

They both moaned, knowing they both wanted more but couldn't get it here. It was a good minute before they realized they were rattling the door.

"Hey Case, everything alright in there?" One of the interns called out from the hallway.

Casey froze and Liv burst into a fit of quiet laughter, the redhead cupping her free hand over her mouth, shushing her, while also trying to stifle her own giggles.

"Everything's fine Brian, there was um, a particularly fleetfooted spider," she grimaced and shrugged, having to come up with something on the fly, "but I got it."

"Oh, well, uh, goodnight then!" the confused intern said as he walked away from the door.

She waited until she couldn't hear footsteps anymore and then the redhead flowed back into a kiss, slowly pulling back her fingers, making sure to draw out as much pleasure as possible. She stopped briefly to tease Livs clit making her shiver and whimper one last time, then drew the fingers to her mouth and licked them clean.

"Guess you'll just have to wait for later." She raised her eyebrows teasingly. "I promise not to be late." She kissed her softly. The brunette tried to catch her breath and straighten out her appearance before she opened the door and went back to the bullpen to finish up for the day.

*   *   *   *   *

Liv had just finished brewing a fresh pot of coffee when there was a knock at the door. "It's open." She called out over her shoulder.

"Hey," Casey walked to the counter and leaned in to kiss her, a smile of relief washing over her as she did, she felt something she hadn't felt in a long time, safe. "I brought Wo-Hop." She put the takeout down on the table.

The brunette smiled; she was completely in awe every time Casey kissed her. "Wo-Hop Wo-Hop or 69 Bayard?"

The young ADA cocked her head as if to say, "you should know better."

Liv chuckled, "69 Bayard" she nodded her head, knowing she should have seen that coming. "I made some coffee."

"Ah you're perfect! I mean, thank you." Casey blushed, terrified of being overzealous and scaring Olivia. She sipped the coffee to avoid saying anything else ridiculous.

"Oh, be careful, that’s..."

"Ah!" The redhead cried out in agony and emptied the contents of her mouth back into the cup. “Smooth, Novak. Real smooth.”

"Hot..." Liv sighed and furrowed her brow. "I'm so sorry I should've warned you." She moved to put the mug down on the counter and cupped Casey's face in her hands to soothe her. "Let me make it better" she said quietly and placed a soft kiss on the ADAs lips. She felt bad but it was the most adorable thing she’d seen Casey do.

The redhead fell apart, her body going slack in Liv's arms. Usually, she had this obsessive need to be in control but there was something about the brazen brunette that made her feel safe enough to share the reins. It didn't even hurt that bad, but it was worth milking in that moment.

"It's okay, the coffee can wait. I have something for you." Casey bit down on her lip, nervous if only just a little.

Olivia looked at her surprised, "Oh? Is that so? Honey chicken and broccoli are hardly a surprise," she giggled, "I always order that."

Casey laughed and backed up a little, "Not the food."

"Then what?"

"Me."

"Case, honey, you're hardly a surprise. I knew you were coming." She laughed, confused at where the counselor was going with this.

The redhead slowly undid the belt of her long rain jacket and then moved to unbutton it to reveal that in addition to her heels that she was wearing earlier in the day, she wasn't wearing much else. She let the coat drop to the floor revealing tight red silk boxers and a red lace pushup bra.

Liv leaned against the counter, propped up on her elbow, marveling at the gorgeous woman in front of her. This now marked the second time today that Casey made Liv knock over a cup of coffee. She hurried, grabbed a towel, and wiped the counter down, she'd worry about the floor later and then turned her attention back to the redhead standing practically naked in her kitchen.

"That bad huh?" Casey joked.

"No, no," Liv tried to catch her breath, "That good." She took her hands and ran them down Casey's smooth sides and pulled her hips against her. She kissed her deep, pulling her as close as possible moving one hand to her neck and the other grabbing a fistful of the young ADAs tight ass. Her hand now full of smooth silk and supple skin. "Oh God, Casey," she whispered, "I need you so bad." Her lips brushed the redhead’s neck as she spoke.

"So then take me," Casey quivered under Liv's touch. "Tease me, taste me, make me cum." She sunk her teeth into the brunette's sweet spot on her neck and suckled, her own arousal growing by the second. She was trying to find a way to let go without relinquishing full control.

Liv cried out as Casey did this, wet and throbbing, she needed relief. "Casey" she whispered breathlessly, "let's go to bed."

Casey nodded in agreement, kissing Liv intensely, relieving Liv of her clothes so that by the time they reached the bed she was left with nothing, but her matching black lace panty set. The redhead gasped in awe.

"See something you like, Counselor?" Liv flopped back onto the bed, propping up on her elbows, feet still on the floor.

Casey licked her lips and nodded, "Jesus Olivia, how are you so beautiful?"

"I could ask the same of you." Liv smiled softly, eyes full of lust. She scooted back onto the bed and propped her head up on a pillow. She grabbed the redhead’s hand and pulled her down onto the bed and into her arms. "Now come here so I can do all the things you asked of me and maybe, if you think I'm good enough, I can have you inside me for the rest of the night making up for the torture in your office earlier."

Casey quirked her brow, "all night you say?" She pursed her lips and pretended to think about it before leaning to kiss Liv and nip at her jaw line. She got up on her knees as the brunette tugged at the silk boxers.

"As sexy as these are, they're definitely in my way," the brunette mused and sucked her lower lip between her teeth. “These are gonna have to go.” She kissed her way up Casey’s inner thighs as the redhead rolled her neck moaning in pleasure. She kept kissing until she got to the hem of the boxers and sunk her teeth in, sucking and taking her time to make sure it would mark. Casey cried out as her breath hitched. Her juices, already starting to drip from her body. Liv pulled the boxers down, “you’re going to ruin these if they don’t go now.” Casey pulled them off the rest way and tossed them off the bed.

“Tell me what to do, Detective.” the redhead mewled. Her eyes glossy, her body throbbing. She grabbed the brunette’s hand and pulled it against her sex.

Liv playfully pumped her middle finger in and out, slowly, pausing here and there. “I want you on my face. I want to lap up all of this” She took her finger and brought it to Casey’s mouth, the redhead took it in, moaning at her own taste on the brunette’s finger. The brunette pulled her hand back and gripped her lover’s thigh, tugging it towards her.

Casey swung her leg over Olivia and hovered her hips above her face. Liv swallowed hard in excitement and grabbed the redhead’s thighs pulling her down to make contact. She tugged Casey down harder, making sure her full weight was against her. A strangled cry escaped the ADAs lips and she reached for the headboard to steady herself as the brunette pushed her tongue deep inside and begin thrusting. Casey’s hips bucked involuntarily, Liv’s name tumbling from her lips as she continued to moan and pant, setting a pace for herself. The brunette lapped up what had already spilled from her lover and then licked up to the redhead’s clit, planting light kisses, suckling just enough to illicit a wail of pleasure, and then back to light kisses.

“Mmm, that’s it baby, make noise for me.” Liv moaned, planting another teasing kiss. She grabbed the redhead’s ass with both hands and rolled her hips down against her own face.

All this teasing on its own was almost enough to unravel Casey, she knew it hadn’t been long but when Olivia called her baby it made her feel like she was hers. She liked the way it felt, like something she could get used to.

 “Mmmphhh,” she moaned, “make me cum baby, please?” She pleaded, rutting against the brunette’s face. Little did she know her use of the word baby had a similar euphoric effect on Liv, who moaned at her lover’s request and pressed hard against the redhead’s clit and began tracing small circles with the tip of her tongue. Casey bucked forward involuntarily again. The vibrations of Liv’s low moans and her swift tongue built her arousal up until she couldn’t take it anymore. Her entire body fluttered inside and out, and she came harder than she’d ever cum before. It took her so off guard she slammed the side of her fist against the headboard, crying out with pleasure and riding the brunette’s face hard as she came down off her high, “OH, LIV!” The detective lapping up all the juices dripping down on to her face. Casey dismounted and pulled herself close to her lover. She took Liv’s chin and turned her face towards her with her long slender fingers and stared into her honey brown eyes with longing. Her face softened, she knew she was falling hard and was terrified she was going to screw it up. She kissed the brunette, deep and passionately. When she did all her fears were assuaged, and she grinned as she came up for air. “That’s my good girl,” she planted a few more kisses on the older woman, “so good for me. Now what was that you said earlier,” she raised her brow, “all night?”

  Both women giggled and Liv pulled Casey on top her, she couldn’t get enough of the ADAs skin against her own. She quivered as the redhead suckled down her throat, “I need you inside me,” she whispered, “please?”

Casey moaned against the detective’s neck and slipped two fingers past the black lace into her core pushing her palm against the brunette’s clit.

“Casey!” Liv cried out, moaning, and panting her name repeatedly. “Oh, Case, oh G-d!” The redhead thrust hard, just like their earlier office encounter, knocking the brunette’s head against the headboard. Liv’s gasped and then grinned, her eyes full of desire. This was not something Casey was expecting, thinking she had accidentally hurt her. “Harder, Counselor,” she moaned, and she stared her lover in the eye. Casey bit down on her lip, smiled deviously and thrust again. “Mmm, Casey, harder,” the brunette moaned again.

                The redhead’s entire body went hot, she bit down into detective’s neck as she began a steady rhythm of thrusts. The brunette’s head knocked against the headboard each time as she cried out in pleasure, she held on tight to her lover’s frame. She could feel her heat building up inside her as she got closer to climax.

 “Harder,” she spurred on the luscious litigator and grabbed a fistful of her soft curly locks. “Finish me,” she whimpered.

Casey let out a stifled moan and curled her fingers against Liv’s g-spot, “Come on beautiful,” she kissed the brunette’s cheek, “let Daddy make you cum.” It was the first time she had ever used that term in a less than joking manner with the detective and it was enough to make her completely let go. Liv’s walls tightened, locking the redhead’s fingers in place. Casey also unraveled for a second time, just from the sheer excitement of the brunette’s undoing. She fell back onto the bed and kissed Liv’s forehead, “My good girl,” she whispered, “I know I owe you more, I just need a minute.” She laughed and wiped her damp forehead with the back of her wrist, and then brought her hand to her lips to lick her fingers clean. She grabbed Liv and pulled her to her chest.

The detective wrapped her legs around Casey, “No baby this is perfect, you are, so, perfect.” She kissed the ADA softly as the redhead stared back with wide puppy eyes.

“You know,” Casey chuckled, still out of breath, and trying not to draw attention to her reaction to the compliment, “at some point, one of us is going to have to get up and put the Chinese in the fridge.”  

* * * * *

                The next day Liv and Elliot found evidence to arrest Ian Tate, a conversion therapist’s son, who was seen in the roll of film that Munch had developed. After he was arraigned further evidence in his apartment showed that the DNA of the killer left behind on a patch of drywall wasn’t his but a familial match. Casey went to meet Tate and his lawyer in lockup to try to see if she could get him to tell her the real story.

                “Why does this matter?” his lawyer retorted when the ADA tried to clarify when exactly he disposed of the body.

                “I think your client knows exactly why this matters,” Casey snapped back and turned her attention to Ian, “He caught you didn’t he?”

                “Shut up,” the prisoner said with a quiet rage.

                “Going to jail isn’t going to help.” The prosecutor iterated with frustration. “We found your father’s blood in your apartment. We know what happened.”

                “Then you have an obligation to drop the charges!” his lawyer stood up and demanded.

                “And if your client wants to avoid accessory charges, sit down, now.”

                Ian’s eyes began to water, “You have…no idea.”

                “No,” Casey lied, her earlier conversation with Branch echoing in her head, “they want to make about straight vs gay, you make it about murder.” “But I can imagine how you must feel.” The truth is she did know, she was terrified if someone found out about her and Olivia that there would be hell to pay. It was bad enough that Cragen had almost caught them at the batting cages two weeks ago, just ten minutes earlier and he would’ve walked up on her arms wrapped around the detective, teaching her how to bat but also placing tender kisses on the nape of her neck. They hadn’t been together in public since. There was no written rule about ADAs and detectives but there was stigma. “But James did, didn’t he? What it was like to hate yourself, to want to change and know you can’t” Casey’s catholic guilt choking up in her throat like a lump. “For the first time somebody understood you.” Throughout her whole speech she just pictured her and Olivia, happy and holding on to each other, laughing in the kitchen as they each tried to toss blueberries in the other’s mouth. Her eyes watered. “You didn’t go to the hospital because James attacked you, your father did.”

                Casey tiredly walked into the squad room after her visit to the jail, Liv tried not to look too excited, but she knew her eyes must’ve lit up when the redhead came through the door frame.

                “Hey how’d it go with Tate?” the brunette asked following her across the room to the desks.

                Casey rubbed her temples, “Jurors eight and ten believe him.”

                “Enough to hang the jury?” Liv asked worriedly.

                “Maybe,” the young ADA sighed, “In which case all I did was out some poor kid, not exactly my favorite legal strategy.”

                “You didn’t have a choice.” Elliot muttered sitting down at his desk.

                Casey cocked her head towards him, “You got kids, you ever wonder if one’s gay?” She often wondered if her own parents knew but was sure they at least wondered.

                Elliot looked up at the tall athletic prosecutor, caught off guard. He thought about it for a few seconds, “I don’t know I haven’t asked.”

                Liv furrowed her brow, “C’mon Elliot you know your kids, you’d know if one of them were gay.” She said this out loud but internally wondered if her own mother had realized her predisposition, she probably would’ve preferred it to the man she dated at seventeen.

                “Exactly!” Casey exclaimed, “his whole defense hinges on the fact that he had no idea.”

                “You don’t buy it?” Liv looked at the redhead, trying not to expose how sexy she thought it was when she was on to a hunch.

                “No, but I can’t prove it. Find out.” She locked eyes with Liv as she grabbed her briefcase, in her mind she was picturing the brunette in black lace, her stare saying, “I need you soon.”

A little while later Olivia was in the copy room running off some blank forms when she heard a tap on the door frame. She craned her head, "Hey Fin, I'm just about done if you need the copier. Just give me two minutes."

He shook his head and swiped his hand, "Nah all good. You got a minute?"

"Sure Fin, what's up?

He stepped in and leaned against the wall, "I just wanted to say that I hope you know that I got your back. No matter the situation. You can always count on me."

"Thanks Fin." She gave a small nod of appreciation although she had to admit she wasn't sure where any of this was coming from.

"Yeah, you know, just keepin it real, be careful out there, the world is full of craziness." He shrugged, trying to come off as nonchalant.

"Okay thanks Dad." Liv laughed and went to retrieve her copies.

"Hey, we gotta look out for each other, right? Besides from the way I heard it, you already have yourself a daddy."

"What?" By the time she whipped around Fin was already headed back to the bullpen but saw him toss his hands up in the air playfully.

"Shit."

**  *  *  *  *   *

                Casey successfully got the doctor to take a plea thanks to the evidence Olivia and Elliot had uncovered that he did in fact know his son was gay the whole time. She spotted Ian sitting outside on a bench near the courtroom and made her way over.

                “They took the plea,” she sat down to the side of him.

                “It’s so weird you know?” his voice was distant, somber, “I’ve been sitting here for a while and I wonder, does he know? Does she? James used to always talk about how happy he was to be gay, that guys are so much more fun.”

                Casey chuckled, “Yeah, I agree with James.”

                Ian smiled, somehow, he knew she didn’t mean about men being more fun but about being gay.

                Casey winked and got on her bike fastening her helmet. She rode home and locked her bike up downstairs. She massaged her neck with her hand as she stepped off the elevator. The ADA had one of the longest days she had in a while and couldn’t wait to just take a hot shower and put on some comfortable clothes.

As she got closer to her door, she heard a familiar voice call out to her, “Hey.”

She looked up to find Liv standing against her door. She couldn’t have smiled bigger if she wanted to. They didn’t have plans tonight, she had no expectations, which just made this mean so much more.  Casey breathed a sigh of relief, dropped her briefcase to the ground, ran to the brunette and jumped into her arms kissing her fervently.

“Hi,” she melted into her, tears welling up as the tension left her body, “You’re here.” she whispered.

“Hi,” Liv whispered holding Casey’s legs tight around her waist and leaning her forehead against the forehead of the beautiful woman she was holding, “I know we didn’t have plans, I just, missed you.”

“I missed you too, I’m so glad to see you.” The redhead whispered back and kissed the detective softly and then nestled her head against her neck.

“I brought take out.” Liv said and leaned her head to kiss Casey’s shoulder.

“Wo-Hop?” Casey asked sleepily.

“Better.”

Part 3

[papacopia-crucified]

I knew it would fit my Dracopia fic so. All credits to the creator of this beautiful art piece I just found on Pinterest

After Dark pt6

I had a brainfart for a whole week so, I did not manage to continue write After Dark but I just kept listening to Depeche Mode Enjoy the Scilence, idk it’s HIS song too in my opinion. I’m obsessed. #ilovePapa

🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀

As you were preparing for the night’s shift, you started to become more and more anxious. Party with the ghouls and the beautiful ghoulettes, you’d had to slap yourself, cause it ain’t a dream as you assumed.

“What if Papa shows up Pen? I’ll probably faint and say sorry after waking up.” She was just looking at you just as your pet bat did. You knew that they felt your excitement and even your nervousness. You hear your phone making a beep sound and as you unlocked it you slapped your forehead in realisation.

‘I know it’s you day off, but could you maybe get here? There’s another letter waiting for you. And I think it’s written with blood.’ - Michael

‘SHIT… uhmm yeah I’ll meet u there. And I totally forgot that I’m off today. I have new friends that I’ll meet up there.’

‘Friends? Since when you have friends other than me?’ - Michael

‘I’ll tell you when we meet, I’ll try to be as fast as possible.’

‘Alright see u then bestie.’ - Michael

‘See ya.’

You dropped your phone to the bed and laid backwards until your back touched the bed.

“Why is this keep happening? Why me?”

As you approached the back door of the club, Michael was already there waiting for you. He was kind of not scared but disturbed.

“Finally you’re here.”

“I’m here, so where’s the letter?” He said nothing, but handed you the letter, your name was there written with blood. It was smeared but it was there.

“Maybe it’d be better if you read this inside. You want to people to stare.” He ushered you inside gently and you thanked him. You two did not stop until you reached the door the the dressing room. “Don’t worry (Y/n). Everything will be fine.” He tried to calm you down, but it did not work much since you were jumping out of your skin from fear.

“I don’t think so. Thank you Mich.”

“Anytime.” He kissed your forehead and you opened the door and closed it fast. Your heart was beating faster and you felt that it wanted to burst through your chest. As you opened the letter, you found your way to a chair and dropped down on it. What you did find in that letter made you sick to your stomach.

I’ll find you wherever you are,

Daughter of a murderer

I’ll take my revenge,

As I walk over your and your lover’s cold corpses.

There’ll be no happy ending for you.

Just watch and see

Yours truly, X

It’s crazy you thought, who wants you dead so badly?

“Lover?…. I did not even have a….. on ho Copia.” Realisation just hit you. The dream wasn’t even a dream. He IS yours and you are HIS. It was a lot to take in. You did not even know how long did you rest in that chair, thinking through the whole situation, but you heard the dj announcing the start of the party. And even your phone made a notification sound. As you opened it, you saw that the phone number was not in your contacts.

‘We’re here. And don’t worry I know your phone number, I looked it out from your phone.’ - Cirrus

“Oh shit…. There we go.”

‘I’ll be out ASAP.’

‘Okay honey.’ - Cirrus.

“Did she just called me Honey?” You giggled, already forgot the letter, which before you go you placed it into your locker. Your way to the dance floor was short, as you were practically running to meet the ghouls. You quickly checked on Marge to make sure she’s fine with everything.

“Look who decided to show up.”

“Hey. Is everything alright?”

“If you wanna ask that if I’m fine with taking care of your job too. Yes. What are you doing here anyway?” Marge asked as she was drying one of the glasses.

“I’ll meet up with some friends.” You sat down on one of the bar chairs and Marge poured you some liquid courage. It made you quite surprised, but accepted the drink. “Thanks Marge. Do you wanna drink one too? It’s on me.”

“Alright.” She poured the alcoholic beverage into a glass again and grabbed it with her fingers moving it up.

“Bottoms up!” As it went down your throat you felt the burning sensation, which meant that it’ll have the effects soon that you’re hoping for. as time flew by it was maybe the fourth or fifth beverage that you consumed and was already in a drunken state, but not too drunk. Music was blearing, heat radiated off of the dancing group of people. But it was not the only thing you felt. It was like someone was watching you from afar. Eyeing you from your head to your toe, like he wants to devour you with his mismatched eyes.

“(Y/n). It’s good to see you honey.” You heard Cirrus’ voice and when you turned your head around smiled at her and was aware of the other ghouls behind Cirrus’ back.

“Heyya. Don’t mind me. I’m a little drunk. It’s so good to see all of you.”

“The pleasure is ours Pri…. (Y/n).” Aether took your hand and kissed it affectionately. Papa was a little jealous as he saw his precious ghoul kiss your hand, but he remained in the shadows. He was curious what you’re gonna do and what the ghouls will do. He was rather hungry too, so he hoped to get a little bite from you.

“Oh… it’s you Aether, and Dew, Mountain, Swiss, Rain. Oh… Sunshine, Cumulus. Wow. I can��t believe it that that’s really you.”

“Oh she knows. I like her.” Cooed Cumulus and it made you blush.

“Anyway, you all wants some liquid courage? I already had five… I was a little nervous.” You admitted

“Why?”

“Because you’re Ghost! My favourite band, well the only person is missing is Papa.” As you mentioned his name you heard you name and a rather delicious Italian accent.

“Talking about me Mia Dolce?” He popped up next to you and when he looked at you, legs started to wobble and you almost fell onto him. His eyes bored into yours, never leaving them.

“I think we need to talk Cop…. I mean Papa.” You quickly corrected yourself and he just chuckled.

“Oh Sorella, you can call me Copia.”

“I know. You told me before.” He was suspicious now, what you know about all of the moments you shared before.

“Yeah he would not mind if you were screaming it.” Sunshine whispered into your ear and you slapped her forearm. You were as red as a beetroot. And you imagined it, you beneath him, pleasuring you, kissing you, making you cum. Just the though of it made you wet, for him. Your Papa. He knew….

“Mio Amore, I think you wanted to talk.”

“Please Papa it can wait. We’re here to party, (Y/n) wanted to have a drink too.” Said Dew and Aether finishing each others sentence.

“Alright fine. But not too much alcohol. It’s applies to you too (Y/n).” Papa was touching your lover back now moving you a little closer to him. You were a little intoxicated so you put your hand up to his chest and felt that there was no heartbeat, but he was rather warm. He leaned in little by little until there was a little space between the two of you.

“Co…Copia….. I…”

“Do I make you speechless mia Cara? Papa got your tongue?” His hand grabbed a mop of your hair and moved it behind you ear.

“You can…. I mean…” his lips were inches away from yours.

“Yo, everybody. Listen up, cause I have something to tell ya. I heard that there’s one special woman in here. A lovely lady requested a song just for this special someone.”

“Oh wow… where’s Cirrus?” Dew looked around searching for her but your eyes were only on Papa. Your Papa.

“Our lovely Ghoulette wants to thank this special lady for her kindness and requested a song. Dear (Y/n) I’ll play you Enjoy the Silence by Depeche Mode.” You were now looking at the dj and Cirrus when she arrived. The song started to play and you immediately grabbed Copia’s hand and started dragging him.

“What are you up to mio topolino?”

“Dance with me Copia.”

“Gladly.”

As you swayed your hips to the music Copia nuzzled close to you. Hands on your hips your hands around his neck. Eye contact was on point, like it was never enough of his gaze. You but your bottom lip Copia responded with a little growl and nudged you closer, like a paper could not go through your bodies. Song already forgotten, there was just the two of you. Moving as one to the music.

"Mia Cara. You're taking my breath away. I just want to devour you. Mi scusi Mio Topolino. I don't know what came over me. I want to kiss you so bad." Papa was slightly embarrassed but you found it cute. You grabbed his face with both hands.

"Kiss me." You did not have him time to respond, your lips collided with his in a bruising kiss. It soon became heated as Copia buried his hand in your hair and tugged it to show your neck to him.

"Please..."

"Already begging Darling?" Papa nuzzled his nose up and down your neck, his hand snaked around your hip and pressed his noticable erection to your stomach. You moaned out his name, your whole body was burning up like you were in hell.

"You go down just like Holy Mary. Mary on a, Mary on a cross." He sang into your ear and he continued with the song. And when he stopped he looked at you and you just nodded at him cause you already knew what he was up to. He smiled at you and saw his long, sharp fangs ready to bite into your neck.

"Papa please.... Copia."

"Say it Mia Cara."

"Please bite me. Drink from me." You bared your neck even more to him, he sighed in approval and peppered your neck with kisses, and you felt it. You don't even know if you screamed or moaned in pain. The only think that you felt is your Papa, drinking from you.

Here it is Ghesties! 🖤 I really enjoyed to write this part and of course at the end I listened to Mary on a cross so that's the inspiration from.

Take care ♥️🖤

[pepperstories]

Blooper Reel, Baby | Joseph Quinn | Best Friend Series

Warnings: No warnings. Badly written and will be rehashed once I get a series on the go at some point. Fluffy friendship lovings. This was inspired by the blooper reel that came out 700 years ago.

Please enjoy and remember to follow and reblog ❤️

The set was always lined with cast and crew during takes. On this occasion, Joseph stood with his co-star and friend of 18 years trying to figure out the best way to kiss in front of your colleagues.

Although this was nothing new to them, it was always hard to establish a true quality kiss with meaning when there was over 50 people looking on.

Joe stood across from you, his face set in a hard line and the same look mirrored in front of him.

“We’ve got this.” You grit through your teeth. Without the pair knowing, a lone camera was filming the interaction. The squabble of noise around you both as everyone rehearsed their own lines and you both prepared for yours.

Within a split second, Joe’s face turned to the camera and he grabbed you by the waist. He dipped you suddenly and started placed sloppy saliva filled kisses all over your face.

The howling laughter followed from both his beautiful friend and the co-stars around them as the notorious Duffer Brothers called for a restart. He brought you back to your starting point wiping saliva from your face and laughing as he winked directly into the camera.

✨✨✨

This scene was supposed to be harrowing. It was supposed to be gentle and loving. You held a dying Eddie in your arms as you prepared yours to cry.

The various make-up artists flittering about with your hair and Joe’s bloodstained teeth. The weight of his body heavy on your bent knee’s, you relaxed and tensed your shoulders to prepare yourself for a dramatic howl. He wiggled himself to get comfortable for the scene. The very moment he tells you that he loves you. The very moment he slips away. He had it down to a tee.

They had practiced during the script review that week and although the words on the page spoke truth, the pair were infamous for switching lines and improvising.

“I don’t think Eddie would say this.”

“She should be screaming, not silent crying.”

As the set cleared of all unnecessary folk, the pair focused in on their grief. They truly thought to themselves what it would feel like to really lose one another.


“QUIET ON SET.”

“Action!”

He spluttered his line so perfectly. His dark chocolate eyes staring into your blue ones. He watched the steady stream of hot tears run down your face, mingling with the crusted stage blood and dirt. You sobbed, your heaving chest hovering over his face. Your back aching slightly from holding the weight and heaving the dry sob.

“I love you.”

He spat slightly, the blood cradling around his mouth and chin.

Before you could even utter your line. Before you could improvise and go with it, you spat straight into his face when you sobbed out. A long string of spit from your mouth to the corner of his. An act that rendered Joseph completely useless as he looked horrified into your surprised face.

“You just spat in my mouth you dirty mink” He wiped the obvious foam of spit from the corner of his mouth as you brought your hands up to your own.

Both Duffer Brothers cutting the scene with a cackle and a “Cut!”

“I am so sorry.” Through the tears of laughter this time, Joseph rolled onto his front and mirrored his co-star. His knees bent under his arse as he watched your wide eyed laughter.

“We’ve exchanged spit so many times, a wee gob won’t do ye any harm.” You spat out as he shoved you playfully.

“That’s definitely one for the blooper reel.”

✨✨✨


The Duffer Brothers always made sure to have music on in between takes. The various artists that donned the speaker were just suggestions from the cast and crew.

Today was a particularly good day for "tunes”. The various songs from the late 80’s early 90’s played throughout the makeshift sets as the rolling camera caught all cast members dancing to this one particular song.

Shania Twain’s- That Don’t Impress Me Much.


The camera catching each cast member in their own routine. The main focus being Joseph and his best friend. Mouthing the words to each other as you both sipped your black coffee’s.

You swayed your hips and swished your hair about. This was a routine the cast and crew were familiar in. Impromptu dance routines and an easy relief of stress during the longer days.

Turning to the camera, you, the budding Ying to Josephs Yang turned in time for the camera to catch you singing the main line of the song: “That Don’t Impress Me Much.” And nudging your Ray Ban’s onto the bridge of your nose like it was part of the script.

✨✨✨

The boat scene was the hardest for all of them. You were always exhausted from being in the water and each time it came to the retake, you would heave a sigh. But today was a good day. Today was Joe Keery’s and Natalia’s diving scene where they were all to follow in. There was a ridiculous amount of goofiness on the boat, but you were ready for the water scenes to be over.

As they acted out the scene, each of them impeccably timed and choreographed, you waited your turn next to Joseph. Much to your dismay, the scene was ruined when a splash of water hit the main camera.

Pulling his cold and tired best friend to him, he used his body weight to rock the boat. His tight grip around your shoulders was enough to tell you that he was up to no good.

“Don’t even think about it.” You warned, a pointed finger a mere inch from his face as you looked back at him. His hot breath puffed in your ear as he laughed. You had worked together in so many productions and movies, you knew his tricks and he knew yours. It was clockwork shit.

Rocking harder, he lifted your body off the makeshift seat of the prop boat and pulled your full body to the side. A shriek and splash, as well as Josephs manic laughter, was echoing throughout the staged area.

A full lung full of water went straight into your mouth but sooner straight back out as she surfaced. The water barely at waist height as you splashed the jokester friend. He simply volleyed you over his shoulder in one quick move and threw you into the large pool of water again. A fair distance to chuck you, your wig sat half on and half off your head as you resurfaced for air. Again, the eruption of laughter could be heard throughout the set as that same lonesome camera caught the moments fans were unable to see.

✨✨✨

Thank you for reading my lovie doves. Please don't forget to support this little venture. Follow, reblog, comment and give me some lovings. If you have any ideas, please don't forget to message me!

[tojikai]

I just finished the “home” series, i just found your account yesterday yet all that’s left for me to read is “permanent mark”🙃

Like the “fix you” series, i ended up with alot of questions which is weird because i don’t have any for sundered but then again, im more of a toji girl

Questions:

- why did toji cheat?

- What happened in their marriage for it to get like that?

- did he ever truly fall out of love?

- do you have any plans for another story series?

- what would’ve happened if she hadn’t died?

- would’ve he regretted it or come back to her eventually?

- did he think of her daily after her death?

- how was he feeling after her death, years after?

- why did he put his mistress over his wife?

- Does he love his mistress more

- what’s up with the whole thing he did/him putting her over his wife

- what was his thought process when it first happened and after it kept happening

- ik he said he didn’t love hana but why would he cheat and basically put her over his wife if he didn’t?!?!

- i read 3 out of 4 stories so far and it seems like there a pattern of dudes putting someone they think they love yet don’t over someone they do or love more, is there any reason’s for it

Just me rambling about the story and your other stories:

I know he did but i hope toji suffers so so so much more until his last breath! (He did but I hope it felt like it was infinite for him😌) also Fuck hana! Wtf😭😭 if only toji didn’t fuck up bro its so sad, im hating yet understanding him?? If that makes sense, actually no not understanding but sympathetic towards him in the first ending ig but still fuck toji!!! I felt bad for him and then the next life chapter??? With his thoughts wtf and putting hana over y/n again😭 fuck toji!! he basically emotionally cheated if i was y/n i would’ve lefttt!! I swear your y/n’s are saints compared to me shhsjs

Your stories are so beautifully written yet so sad

I love them even if i might hate the love interest lol

Im More of the resentment type so it feels so silly to say this especially over a fanfic(but then again all of yours are so wonderfully written) but your stories i guess have made me possibly see things in a different light: like ppl do make mistakes and can change or genuinely regret them or that people can maybe hurt the people they love which is so weird for me to say because its a story and also im the type to refuse to believe you can love someone after you treated them so badly or cheated on them. Ig ur stories have made me realizes humans make mistakes and they aren’t BAD people for it butt the pppl they hurt doesn’t have to take them back nor forgive them or they can and it lean to something better than what would’ve been if they ended things

Note:

Im so sorry if im asking too much and i hope im not bothering you, i just tend to talk alot regarding things that i get invested in and i get so curious sbsjsj

Im probably writing this much because im so sleepy right now haha (my apologies especially if i wrote so much nonsense or I didn’t write/explain things wellh

thank you in advance if you answer 🫶i appreciate it, have a good day/night🖤i hope y enjoy the remaining of summer! Tysm for creating these masterpieces ‼️

hiii omg thanks so much, im glad that you enjoyed them <3

- to answer the first 3 questions: toji cheated bc he was bored. i have no excuses for this man in home series bc he really cheated bc their rs was getting a bit dull for him. do u know that point they say in some lovers' relationship. the drought, the feeling similar to "falling out of love" but they say not to leave your partner during this time bc that's when true love begins? yeah that. 🥹 he didn't really fell out of love but it's like a similar feeling to it.

- as for plans for another series, i'm thinking of doing a mini one. i have a draft here just waiting to be polished and published.

- if yn didn't die, hmm... assuming they stayed together, it's gonna be a very dead relationship. bc yn is so so tired. not just emotionally but mentally too. she's gonna have a hard time believing that toji still loves her even if he tried to explain. she's gonna be very reserved and visibly uncomfortable around him, thinking that he doesn't really want to be w her and just staying out of pity. she's gonna limit herself, and the love that she shows him. it will ultimately end in divorce, and he's gonna end up not wanting to sign it.

- yes, toji would've still regretted it even if yn didn't die. he's bound to come back to yn eventually. the day he left, he never planned on staying with his mistress for long. he just went there bc he was frustrated and he's trying to run away from yn's confrontation and the consequences. deep inside he was hoping that yn won't push through w the 'divorce.'

- for the 7th and 8th question, yes toji thought of yn every day and every night. the onyl time he's not thinking of her is when he's swarmed with work. but even during those times, his mind wanders to her still. the feeling that he felt when he learned of her death and discovered how she prepared everything for him and his new life was how he felt his whole life. it was never lessened. if anything it only got worse w time.

- for the 9th, 10th and 11th question: no, he didn't love his mistress more than yn. he left and put his mistress over his wife bc he thought that's what he wanted. there was a sense of thrill, the feeling of being with someone new that pushed him to act like that. as mentioned in the home series, his pride took over and he thought that that's the freedom that he wanted but it wasn't. it was too late when he realized that. you really don't know what you got until it's gone. he thought yn's gonna be there forever and that's why he kept choosing to go to his mistress not knowing that yn's days were numbered and that he's about to lose her.

- when he first cheated w her out of pure lust. there was no deeper meaning to it. and then it kept happening bc he found escape and thrill in it. other than that, she gives him a different type of attention, something new.

- w hana it was the attraction that made him act like that. im not saying all people, but some tend to be nice to attractive people and they don't even notice that to impress a new one, they end up neglecting another one. other than that, it's bc they work together. he doesn't plan on getting it on w her tho. he loves yn.

- i just like the thought of them making mistakes to learn from LMAO but i guess the difference is in fix you, his wife's dead. it's the lack of appreciation for the present and being stuck in the past. while in sundered, uhm it's a lot of pride and he did love Naomi tho. she was so good to him. (except that 'thing' she tried to do)

it makes me happy when people say they learn something from the content i put out🥺 the fact that you guys read my masterlist also makes me happy bc it makes me realize that literature really do make something immortal AAAAA i enjoyed reading this and answering your questions~ thank you so much for the love and support you give my stories <3 hope you're having a great week ~!!

[apollos-boyfriend]

Dont know much about p5, why do you have morgana? Just curious

i'm preemptively putting this under the cut bc i KNOW it's going to get long but tl;dr: he's an annoying character that's poorly written. the conflict around his arc is badly done, and most of the time, he insults others for no reason and praises himself like a god. i would kill him if i could

SO. yes i took down notes of what i wanted to say before starting this. there is a Lot to get through.

first things first. during the first arc, when his character is introduced, we are also introduced to ann. ann is a pretty, charismatic girl, whose story largely revolves around people being unable to see past her looks, and she is both judged and sexualized for her appearance. she is also a teenager, which isn't Super important to morgana necessarily, but it's still weird, as morgana is 1. a cat (or a cat-like monster, depending on what form he's taking) and 2. unknown in age, acting anywhere from a child throwing a tamper tantrum to an older and more experienced mentor figure. at no point does morgana make an effort to treat ann like anything other than a subject for his affections. he only refers to her as "lady ann", praises her for the same thing he belittles others for, and overall, 99% of his interactions with her revolve around his attraction to her appearance and nothing more. he treats ann like they're destined to be together, and part of his end goal to "become human again" is because of his need to woo her over and claim her as his. it's unnecessary, it's annoying, and it's especially infuriating because the point of ann's character is to see past her appearance, something morgana never truly does. he compliments her smarts and actions because he likes her romantically, not necessarily because he genuinely thinks what she says and does is the best course of action.

second of all. in the same first arc, you're also introduced to ryuji. ryuji is the first character you meet, before morgana and ann, and the first friend you make at your new school. ryuji is seemingly bone-headed at times, but he's a passionate, caring kid who would do anything to protect his friends and family. he's by far one of the most beloved characters in the game, as he's just a good kid that's gotten wrapped up in some bad situations, and ostracized because of that fact. morgana makes fun of ryuji CONSTANTLY. and while, in all fairness, ryuji does make fun of morgana sometimes as well, it's not nearly as bad as morgana's treatment of ryuji. every word out of ryuji's mouth has morgana firing back with "of course an idiot like you would say that" or something equally as belittling. while ryuji is shown to not be a very booksmart character, he's extremely perceptive and in-tune with people's emotions. it's annoying and irritating to see morgana, who is, in all honesty, much worse than ryuji intellectually and emotionally, constantly punching down on him for simply breathing in his direction.

which leads me to the next point. one of the worst parts of persona 5 hits during a climatic argument between ryuji and morgana, as at this point, morgana has felt as if he’s “useless” towards the team and they would be better off without him. to begin with, morgana doesn’t even VOICE these concerns until they pile up. the game treats it like we’re supposed to pity him, as we, the player, see all these scenes of him moping and complaining about how useless he feels, but it means nothing because none of the fucking characters see that. they do not know he feels this way and therefore don’t know that they’re doing anything wrong. when he DOES finally voice these concerns, leading to the aforementioned argument with ryuji, ryuji is written as uncharacteristically mean and out of touch in order to push morgana to his breaking point. at no other point in the game does ryuji come anywhere close to acting like that. they purposefully mischaracterize one of their best-written characters just to have their stupid miscommunication plot work.

on top of that! morgana’s sucks. this is an issue a few of the persona 5 characters have, where instead of having a real arc, they repeat the same thing over and over again until their story actually moves forward. with other characters, you get to see their stories evolve and more forward with every meeting. by the end of each meeting, that character is in a different spot emotionally, physically, etc in comparison to the last time you met with them. they move forward. morgana doesn’t. every meeting with morgana is the same repetition of him going “i HAVE to be human . . . joker, you think i’m human right? but what if i’m not . . . no, that’s ridiculous, i HAVE to be.” you sit through this same conversation, no joke, roughly 8 times. there is nothing you can do to change it. it’s the same. stupid. boring. story. he doesn’t progress in this aspect until the VERY END of the game, and at that point you just want to throw him out into the fucking streets.

in retrospect to everything else i’ve listed. this is an admittedly small thing. and semi not his fault. but morgana is what the developers utilize as a roadblock, for lack of a better term. the developers don’t want you to go out? morgana tells you it’s time to go to bed. it is CONSTANT. he doesn’t even let you leave the HOUSE sometimes. it was a major mistake in the developers’ part, because i wouldn’t feel nearly as annoyed if it was the main character saying “oh, i shouldn’t go out today. i should go to bed”, because then it’d still feel like it was MY choice, to some extent. morgana forcing you feels much more like you are not in control of your own autonomy. you’re being forced to listen to a CAT. you don’t even have a say in the matter. these are not my thoughts. these are not my CHARACTER’S thoughts. why the hell should i have to listen to him??

there are probably more smaller things but. those are my biggest issues with him. he just encapsulates the worst parts of the game’s writing and honestly his only redeeming quality is the fact that he looks like a cute kitty

[ongreenergrasses]

6, 7, 10, 17, 19, 35, 49!!

oh you know me I love to yap so thank you!!

6. name three books that changed your life

Delta of Venus by Anaïs Nin, Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe by Fannie Flagg, and Just Kids by Patti Smith

7. do you have a favorite podcast?

yes i do! Scare You To Sleep by Shelby Novak (listed as BloodyFM on Spotify but she’s the host)

10. state an unpopular opinion you have

oh you guys are gonna hate this one BUT. i hate the way they did the blocking and the editing in mockingjay pt 1 for Finnick’s speech. i actually don’t hate his delivery of it.

what i was hit with when i watched it most recently is that it absolutely oozes a calculated performance. like i watched it and went oh that’s a performer. and while that’s not what happens in the book, a) let’s be real they were never going to do that because Finnick is unwell in that book in a way that Hollywood would never capture and b) the way he played it is realistic in a way. i’ve seen a lot of people talk about truly horrific things in a very similar fashion where it does come across as them performing because yeah, maybe you personally could be present in yourself while you do that, but often people simply cannot allow themselves to feel the enormity of the words they are saying if they want to get through it, and he very badly did want to get through it. so i didn’t hate it and I said yeah I could definitely see that happening

17. what song do you love dancing to?

the only thing that’s coming into my head rn is Sinking by Feverkin and it’s because i have some really good choreography to it (not mine)

19. got a random fact you’ve been holding on to?

according to this one guy i know who does rehairs, apparently the best hair for string instrument bows comes from Mongolian horses. now idk if this is actually true but!

35. is there a movie you like better than the book it was based on?

i kind of want to say Annihilation? i loved what they did visually because it was so much more evocative than the book and the final confrontation was so cool. the reason i hesitate is that the book is written in such a way that the movie is absolutely fundamentally different so it doesn’t really feel like an adaptation.

49. describe your aesthetic

seventies with a lot of black, slightly chaotic, and sometimes looking heavily lumberjack

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