#i tried to kind of parallel a bit of him from canon in this
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seiwas · 8 months ago
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"if art can be touched, will you let me hold you? | nanami kento"
This is a masterpiece, as i said this writing itself is a piece of art, you handled the story and the characters ovh so delicately, carefull with details and the way the story took turn, not delving too much into the background, but also showing the rawness of nanami and reader and it was just 🤌🏼♥️🥺💗
hello 🥺 omg thank you so much for taking the time to read that fic of mine 🥺 it became so unexpectedly dear to me while writing it, so hearing that you enjoyed it and means so much!! i appreciate you pointing out the bits that you liked, especially the pacing!! i was contemplating whether it was gonna be too boring 🥺 but waaah thank you for taking the time to send this!! 💓
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nights-at-crystarium · 1 month ago
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Fragments - episodes 47-52 author notes
You can find similar breakdown posts on older episodes in my pinned!
Time to recap the first proper wolgraha miniarc. See what you might’ve missed, or simply enjoy the extra content in form of my rambling.
47 stands out as a bit disconnected, floaty, introspective episode fully focusing on Exarch’s pov. I’ve scattered some breadcrumbs for him throughout the entire comic, time to pick those up. He may be an oblivious fool in certain moments, but I believe he wouldn’t keep insisting on staying deaf and blind when evidence’s shoved in his face. So, this moment of recollection and rethinking marks the start of the canon divergence, all of his future actions are colored by this.
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Vivi has a dire effect on some people even without trying to manipulate them.
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The composition forms a star here :3c
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This panel should make their likeness even more obvious, they’re mirror reflections, albeit deliciously twisted ones. Also, the V sign is literally something that Vivi. Just. Does.
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Exarch's heard from Vivi himself that they might be the same, Urianger literally tells him to go to a mirror and ponder, but when he does, and tries to look a bit more like he imagines Vivi, he can't stand what he sees in the mirror. They still aren't the same in his heart of hearts, even if reality itself tries to prove otherwise.
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Hidden Angst Time! I can only hope that most readers are familiar with the flashback bubbles by now, and that this panel reads as it should: Feo Ul embraces Exarch while pointing out that they’re also being ostracized by their kind. Though the ultimate fae wisdom lies in accepting something the way it is, and just not caring too much.
More under the cut~ 
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*rewinds all the way back to episode 1* hehe
“Does a hero have to be happy about his job” is one of my personal fav lines so far, I think it hits hard, pointing not only at Vivi, but at Exarch as well, and the visual supports it. I think this encapsulates Exarch’s ideology.
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Exarch’s GASP could be interpreted as saying GASP out loud, which only makes it funnier.
Vivi carefully plans his entrance in order to make the atmosphere less formal. Approaching normally just wouldn’t do it. Also he just feels relaxed and safe to be silly. Remember how lowkey he was since his arrival to the First? His behavior all but contradicted what I said and showed about him in the ARR arc and outside of the comic.
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Well, that’s in the past now. He’s finished assessing the situation and concluded that it’s okay to be more himself.
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Feo Ul's upset that Exarch used his “radar” to detect Vivi’s ambush while they’d just used a similar ability to make sure that no emet-selchs are around.
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If you catch a flirty vibe from Vivi in this episode, you're correct.
Vivi when he's remotely interested in a man:
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My flavor of lampshading the obvious exposition dump. Oh Exarch, you asked for this, no take-backsies.
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Another few hard-hitting questions from Exarch. It's easy to gloss over these, but if you slow down and think, it's decent angst material. Has anyone ever been concerned about Vivi's feelings, or was it more convenient to look away, even if intently, even if both sides knew they're better off not talking about that, for there's indeed no wol replacement. What good does acknowledging the situation if you can’t change it.
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This's Vivi's memory, thus he appears small against the looming forms of the world leaders. Rigid, formal, impersonal. Raha's memories of the Ironworks seem to have a different vibe, despite all the parallels of the duty imposed by the world on one special guy. Also yeah I do wanna make my own version of the 8UC timeline and characters someday, for now these are just random characters that I consider as placeholders. And the dunmeshi cameo x’D
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Yes, he mocks the people that he's saved. He's VERY frustrated with his job.
I offer you a fun game: spot all the mannerisms that make Vivi and Emet so alike. I genuinely never thought about this until this year, while this scene's pretty damn old, i.e. Vivi's always been like this, it precedes my Emet brainrot.
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I swear that this line also was there before my Emet brainrot, but now it makes for a hilarious kind of foreshadowing.
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You could already tell how "fit" he is for solving trolley problems.
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This’s his “oops I talked too much shit” face.
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The way Exarch just quietly TURNS and LOOKS at Vivi cracks me up. Don't undermine the tone with random jokes, dammit. But is this random? I’ve already analyzed this moment somewhere but for the sake of keeping important things in one place: they wrestle for control here. Exarch winds up for something serious, while Vivi wants to steer the convo towards more casual. It does somewhat lower the tension, though Exarch doesn’t relinquish his lead in the convo.
This doesn’t save him from becoming Frank forever from here on.
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This miniarc’s rich with raw, hard-hitting words, so I’ll bring this up again.
We’re finally getting the explanation and context for a lot of previous episodes:
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And the following episodes only help driving this point home. Vivi already sees the First as a viable escape from the Source with all of its shitty people and endless problems.
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"This's why I... enjoy my time away from the Source": even at this seemingly high level of trust between them Vivi won't openly tell Exarch about his plans to stay here, a variable he doesn't want to become a risk.
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Yes, he does an entirely calculated and strategic flop. A literal thirst trap.
Meme provided by my discord server:
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Vivi casts provoke, it's..... not effective
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^ This’s one of my personal fav exarchs I’ve ever drawn DADDY PLS
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A panel that everyone loved to bits :>
I pair angst with other flavors to make it fun and non-repetitive. It's not "boohoo I can never kiss my hero, the world will end if I do, I'm so aggravated with myself", it's the hooded Exarch (duty) being mad at the unhooded Exarch (human), and delivering the same notion in a fun exchange. You can't help but laugh at the comical chibi violence, at the same time you acknowledge that it's a pretty fucked up act of suppressing one's innate human desires.
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It's not a date, they just sit and talk <- the water in which Exarch is being slowly boiled.
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I rarely talk about the visuals, but here I intended to make it look like a magical moment frozen in time. It's immersive, whimsical, full of color and movement. Despite the perceived warmth, the composition splits them apart, they're alone together. It’s still Raha’s pov, Vivi doesn’t seem to have any fond memories of the Source at all, we only hear about the past from his current jaded self.
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An in-universe acknowledgment of the ARR arc lasting only 11 episodes x’D Though it’s all by design, it was meaningful only to Raha, while being a forgettable blip in time for Vivi.
Episode 52 opens with.... *drumroll*
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NIP SLIP
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I lovingly rendered that nip and I’ll make you look at it.
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Ibuprofen meme would be the first thing that comes to mind, but consider the better/worse caption: "come to daddy". In all seriousness though, it’s a cool panel that I wanted to appreciate again. This IS Vivi’s pov.
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The grimy beaten up Vivi creates questions that are answered in episode 53, which is yet to be released publicly at the moment of writing this. Some episodes, like 52-53 and 42-43, come in pairs that only make sense together due to the non-linear storytelling.
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Yes this’s Aymeric, no I won’t say anything else :’> One thing that’s worth noting is the face Vivi makes here. And the distant, emotionless tone with which he recalls the moment of his own near-death.
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Lemme spell it out even more plainly: Vivi romanticizes the moment he almost died. Exarch just happened to be present in that moment, and Vivi latched on to him as someone who would grant him escape, freedom, peace.
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“A kindly wizard from fairytales”. I regret to inform you that we have two delusional fucks on our hands. Both see each other as some kinda dreamt up, idealized, mythical figures.
This miniarc isn’t over yet, but I’m wrapping up the recap here. Thanks for reading till the end~
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ro-is-struggling · 1 year ago
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The Princess and The Wolf || PART 2 || Geralt of Rivia x Reader
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Summary: All she wanted was to show Geralt that she could be part of his world, that it was worth putting in the effort to build a future together. He was her true home, the person she belonged to, the one who gave her life purpose, and all she wanted was to share the rest of her life with him. But things were not so simple and the differences that separated them were far too many. 
Warnings: fem!reader, fluff, a bit of jealousy and sexual tension, banter, mentions of blood and canon typical violence, angst at the end, my poor knowledge of the saga probably
English is not my first language
Word count: 15.500
Notes: the part with the hirikka is definitely not there just cause I thought it was cute and I got pissed off when the dude killed it in that episode of season 1, nope, not at all…ALSO the show is not very clear with the whole signs thing so everything that I wrote about them is based off things I read about the games and my own imagination, so sorry if it’s wrong/not true to the story 
PART 1 || PART 3
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"I want to go with you."
The words escaped so casually from the young woman's lips that Geralt had to ask her to repeat them to make sure he had heard correctly. It was the middle of the night and he was drifting between consciousness and unconsciousness, feeling the exhaustion of the day weighing on his eyelids, but refusing to give in for some reason. He wasn't expecting to hear those words. In fact, he wasn't expecting to hear her speak at all since he thought she was still asleep, so her voice alarmed him.
"Go with me where?" The witcher mumbled his voice hoarse from sleep. His eyes opened to look at the princess resting beside him, tucked into his chest as her fingers nervously traced the lines of the scars on his chest. 
"I don't know," she shrugged, still not returning his gaze. "Wherever you're heading next."
Geralt frowned slightly.  They had known each other for quite some time. Since he had helped her escape from her family he had shown up countless times at her door, seeking the aid of her healing powers and, more importantly, her company. And in all that time she had never shown any kind of interest in what he did outside the walls of her home. She asked him questions, sure, and constantly scolded him for being "too irresponsible" —her words, not his—, but she had never expressed an interest in joining him on his travels.
That was kind of the point of their implicit agreement, so he didn't really mind that much. She was his secret helper, the motivation that drove him to do his job better. It was all worth it if at the end of a contract he was compensated according to his work and effort and, most importantly, if he had the chance to stop by her house to restore his energy. Geralt had always seen their relationship as sacred, a parallel world in which he could take refuge when things became too complicated or overwhelming. It was why he had never thought of taking her along on one of his trips. And it was also the reason for his surprise at that request.
"Why do you want to come with me?"
The young woman shrugged again and was silent for a moment as she tried to decide on what to answer. It wasn't that she didn't know —she was well aware of the motivations behind her words—, but rather that she wasn't sure if she should express them so openly out loud. 
"That's not an answer, sunshine." Geralt pressed her and she let out a quiet snort. 
"I want to explore the world, see what other options I have. I thought that this place was all I needed, but lately I've been questioning it." She finally said, glancing up to meet Geralt's eyes.
It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the whole truth either. Yes, in the last few months she had found herself questioning her decisions, wondering if perhaps the world had more to offer her. She was happy in her hut, living among nature, away from her family that had hurt her so much. And yet, she couldn't help but feel that she still hadn't found the true purpose of her life. She had managed to free herself from the oppressive clutches of her parents who wanted to impose on her a future she hated, and while that was an achievement in itself, she still couldn't imagine a clear future for herself. Well, actually she could, it just wasn't a very realistic future.
All she wanted was to be with Geralt.
It was something that took her time to accept, partly because she knew it wasn't a good idea. She knew that Geralt was a... complicated man, with an unconventional lifestyle. She also knew that they were almost complete opposites. He was a man of great experience, gained after living years on the continent, and she was a young runaway princess who had lived her entire life controlled by the desires and expectations of others, and only now had the ability to choose and control her destiny. He was cold, calculating, capable of remaining calm even when faced with the worst of dangers, and she was impulsive and sentimental, often feeling things ten times as strongly as the common person. He was quiet and reserved, and used to living a wandering life, while she was cheerful and sociable, and desperate to find a place to belong.
But despite all the things that set them apart, she couldn't help but feel a deep connection to him. And she couldn't ignore the happiness that came over her every time he showed up at her door or the loneliness that haunted her when he left. Her days were miserable when she was alone, her mind always finding a way to focus on him again. She spent her time wondering where he was and what he was doing, worrying about his safety and health. She often wondered if he was also thinking about her and if he missed her as much as she missed him. 
Waiting for his return was an agony that became more difficult the more time they spent together. The more she got to know Geralt, the more she fell in love and the more it pained her to see him go. The few days he used to spend at her home were no longer enough for her. She wanted to be with him at all times, to learn more about his world, to join him in his adventures, to be more than a refuge away from his daily reality. She wanted to share her life with him, and for him to share his life with her. 
"I thought you liked it here." Geralt's voice brought her out of her thoughts. 
"I do!" She was quick to reply. "I just... I'm not sure this is what I want for my future. I feel like there's a lot more out there for me to explore..." She trailed off, struggling to find the words to explain her feelings without revealing too much.
"And what makes you think that coming with me will help you find what you're looking for?" Geralt asked her and she shrugged again.
"It's a start. You travel all over the continent, what better way to explore the world than by being by your side?"
"I don't think it's a good idea, sunshine." The witcher sighed. Her eyes reflected the pain those words awakened in her and he felt horrible for saying them, but he knew it was for the best. The road, his way of life, was not meant for someone like her.
"Why not?" she murmured, barely containing the pout that was trying to form in her sad expression.
"Because it's too dangerous. I don't just travel the continent, I fight evil, dangerous creatures. I cant do my job if I'm worried about your safety."
"I'm not asking you to let me fight with you, I'm asking you to let me tag along and explore the world with you. I don't have to be near any kind of danger."
"Well, that's what Jaskier always says and he always gets dragged into danger."
"Would it help if I promised to keep my distance and always listen to you and follow your orders?" She looked at Geralt with an innocent face, batting her eyelashes and pouting to try to convince him. She looked so adorable that it was honestly hard for him to refuse her.
"He always says that too." He countered with a half smile that widened slightly at the sight of her annoyed frown. She always looked pretty when she was angry, that was the reason why most of the time he didn't listen to her scolding —he always got lost in her beauty.
"Why are you being so mean?" She accused him, sitting on the bed with her arms folded and a look of dismay.
"I'm not being mean, I'm being careful and protecting you."
"Well, did it ever occur to you that maybe I don’t need your protection?"
Geralt was silent for a moment, admiring her face in the dim light. He knew he was exaggerating, that it was entirely possible for her to travel with him without anything bad happening to her. But it was also possible that things could go wrong and that alone was enough to bring up his fear of losing her. His work —and his life itself— was somewhat unpredictable at times. He didn't always choose when to confront evil creatures. Sometimes he crossed paths with one by pure coincidence and there was nothing he could have done to avoid it. He had a moral obligation to act in such situations, so danger always lurked, following in his footsteps closely, waiting for the most opportune moment to attack. Geralt was used to it, it was his daily reality, the only one he had ever known - since his life before his transformation was not even a distant memory in his mind. 
But it was not her reality. She had lived in a castle for most of her life and was only now beginning to be completely independent. She was not prepared for the kind of danger that a witcher's life entailed. Her little knowledge of medicinal and healing magic could not protect her. And if he failed at that too... Geralt didn't even want to think about it. 
"Maybe," he said, in a calm voice, "but I need to protect you... I need to know that you're alright."
Her gaze softened as a warm sensation ran through her body. The sincerity in his voice made her want to smile. He cared about her, about her safety and well-being. He needed her. He sought to protect her because he didn't want to lose her and that was reason enough for her heart to race and her eyes to fill with illusion.
"I know you do and I appreciate it." She spoke, voice soft and posture relaxed. She reached up to stroke his cheek, gently moving a lock of hair from his face so she could look into his eyes. Geralt leaned into her touch in an almost imperceptible movement, unable to resist the warm caress of her fingers. "Everything that I have, I owe it to you. You helped me be free and I trust you with my life, not just to protect me but to guide me... to help me find my way. There is really no other person I could ask for something like this... there is no one I trust more than I trust you."
And just like that, the discussion was over. All Geralt had to do was look into her eyes —those beautiful warm eyes that brought him so much comfort and happiness— and he lost all ability to fight. His own thoughts and worries were replaced by the need to make her happy. All he wanted was to see that sparkle in her eyes and know that he was the cause of it, the reason she was smiling. How could he refuse her requests when she looked at him with such illusion as she spoke those sweet words to him? He was willing to do anything to make her happy, even if it meant throwing caution to the wind.
"You have to promise that you will never leave my sight and that you will do what I say without question."
The young woman's face lit up immediately, a big smile playing across her lips as she looked at the witcher with wide open eyes. She looked like a child who had gotten her wish fulfilled. "Is that a yes?"
Geralt sighed with resignation and nodded his head. She let out a squeal of delight and rushed over to hug him as she repeated over and over how grateful and happy she was with his decision. A small, subtle smile tugged at his lips, feeling that comforting warmth run through his body as he breathed in the scent of her hair. He was worried about what might happen, but for the moment that didn't matter. All that mattered was the warmth of her body against his and the kiss she planted on his cheek as a thank you. She was happy and that made it all worth it.
"Just don't make me regret it." He warned her and she shook her head.
"I promise I'll be good. You won't regret this, Geralt."
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Geralt wouldn't say he regretted his decision completely, but he couldn't say he was happy either. He had greatly underestimated how difficult it would be to travel with her getting distracted every time she saw a pretty bird fly overhead and complaining about the long journey that never seemed to end —she didn't seem to realize that her presence had a lot to do with the slowness of their journey. She wasn't holding up her end of the bargain completely either, which made Geralt worry more than usual about every step he took. While she listened to his directions and stayed in place when he instructed her to, she also took advantage of any moments of distraction —usually when he slept— to wander around the forest alone and without carrying a weapon to protect herself.
It wasn't all bad, though. Yes, she drove him mad with her songs to nature and her need to stop every time they came across a wounded animal, but Geralt couldn't deny that a part of him loved that about her. He loved seeing the smile that appeared on her face when a deer crossed her path or the sparkle in her eyes as she admired the sun setting over the river. There was an innocence in her attitude that captivated him. An amazement at the world around her that was so foreign to him, and yet so charming. After living so many years on the continent, he could not imagine experiencing such a fascination with the world. He admired it in a way, it reminded him of a time long ago, of a life he thought was buried in the darkness of his memory. It was part of her charm, part of the reason he couldn't seem to get away from her. She awakened the good in him, a light he thought he had lost after undergoing the mutations that turned him into the witcher he was today.
So, as much as he panicked every time she got too far away from him, he still wouldn't change a thing. Everything that made him groan in the daytime was worth it when she would curl up against him in front of the campfire at night, resting her head on his shoulder as she let the calm of the forest soothe her to sleep. It was actually embarrassing how much time Geralt spent admiring her beauty under the moonlight, watching her sleep peacefully curled up next to him as if she were the most beautiful piece of art he had ever seen. There was something about nature and the outdoors that awakened a special glow in her, a magnetic aura that kept him from taking his eyes off her. So he stayed awake at night longer than he should, watching her sleep while his mind was lost in thought. 
She was the last thing he saw before falling asleep, the last thing he thought about and dreamed about. Every night Geralt would give her a kiss on the forehead before settling down beside her. It was quick and soft so as not to disturb her sleep, but he needed it to know that she was real, that someone so wonderful had decided to follow him in his dark and tumultuous life. Every night, the witcher went to sleep thinking about her, how lucky he was to have her by his side and how important she was to him. He thought of the dangers that surrounded him and silently wished that nothing bad would ever happen to her. That was one of the recurring nightmares he had, returning one night to her hut and not finding her there. The idea of her relationship with him being what would ultimately lead to her demise haunted him.
Not being there to protect her from the evils of the continent was one of his greatest worries. Losing her was his greatest fear. So when he opened his eyes in the morning and did not find her by his side he jumped up as panic began to take over his body. He called her name several times, his voice echoing in the emptiness of the forest, but he got no response other than the sound of fluttering birds fleeing in fear of the disturbance. Geralt was preparing to set out to hunt whatever it was that had taken her, when the wind brought the melodious sound of her voice to his ears. He followed it through the trees and bushes, feeling his nerves calm as he listened to her laughter. She wasn't in danger, she was just being careless, as usual.
"Geralt!" she exclaimed with a smile as she looked up to meet her companion's white hair sticking out among the green bushes. "Thank the gods that you are here, I need you to help me move him."
The witcher looked at her in confusion for a moment, until he looked down at her lap where a badly wounded creature rested. But it wasn't just any creature, it was a hirikka that looked at him with big yellow eyes full of terror. From the size of the beast, Geralt guessed it was just a puppy, and since it wasn't attacking anyone he assumed it was well fed —though his benevolence could very well be just the effect of the young princess on the creature since she tended to have a special relationship with animals. Still, it had been careless of her to approach the animal, especially while he slept. If the creature had been adult and hungry, it could have been very dangerous for her.
"Don't look at me like that," she said before Geralt could open his mouth. He didn't need to speak to let her know what he thought of her actions, she could read it in his face. "His cries of pain woke me up and I just couldn't leave him to suffer."
"So you walked away from the camp and tended to the wounds of a dangerous creature without bothering to even wake me up?"
"Oh he could never hurt me! Look at those big, adorable eyes! He wouldn't hurt a fly, would you baby?" she excused herself, petting the hirikka's head as if it were a dog.
"He could have hurt you if he was hungry." the witcher huffed, unable to believe he was having such a conversation.
"He's a baby, Geralt, and it's wounded. I'm pretty sure I can defend myself from a wounded animal."
"That's not the point. You risked your life wandering into the woods like that!"
"I'm fine!" She dismissed his concerns, completely oblivious to the panic that swept through him when he woke up without her by his side. "Now help me move him, we need to get him to the mountain."
"What?"
"Correct me if I'm wrong, but hirikkas usually live around the mountains, right?" Geralt nodded, already guessing where the young woman's argument was headed. "That means that this poor little thing is far from home. He probably came here for food and then got lost and wounded. We need to find his family so they can protect him."
"Hirikkas are a really rare species, what makes you think he even has a family in the first place?"
"Well, he's young he has to have someone taking care of him." She said as it was obvious causing Geralt to roll his eyes. 
"We passed the mountains two days ago, we can't just go back to search for a group of creatures that may not even be there in the first place."
"We can't leave him here alone either, he will die! You said it yourself, hirikkas are a rare species, if someone finds him they're definitely going to kill him!"
"Sunshine, we can't…"
"Please! We don't even have to get him to the mountains, just close enough for his family to hear his cries." She looked up at him with glassy eyes and a pout on her lips. How could he refuse her wishes when she looked so adorable and vulnerable? It was a waste of time, but he didn't have the heart to tell her that. She was too pure, too good for this world. 
He knew how much she cared for the animals, the urge she felt to help them. According to the things she had told him about her life, the woods surrounding her old home had been her refuge. She hid there to escape the orders and hurtful comments of her family, finding more support in the wild rabbits and deers than in the people who lived in her castle. It was also the place where she had discovered her magical healing skills and the only place where she tended to use them. She had a deep connection with nature and Geralt knew there would be no convincing her to leave the animal alone to its fate.
"We'd have to backtrack two days of travel." He tried to reason with her, a last resort to see if he could get her to change her mind.
"You don't have to come if you don't want to, just help me load him on the horse and I'll go by myself. You can go to the village and wait for me there."
"I'm not leaving you out here alone!" Geralt firmly stated. Then he let out a sigh of defeat. "You stay here, I'll go find Roach."
He made his way back to Roach mumbling to himself, unable to believe he had agreed to waste time backtracking his steps to help an injured animal. It was sad, yes, but normally he wouldn't stop for it. It's the law of nature. You are born, you grow, you reproduce and eventually you die. There was no point in worrying about things that were out of one's control. 
But she cared. Even if it was an animal that inspired terror in most people. Even if it was a small, insignificant creature that no one would miss, she would. She still talked about the rodent she once rescued from the clutches of a hungry owl as if it was one of the greatest accomplishments of her life. She cared about everyone, even when no one seemed to care about her —her family had stopped looking for her long ago and her subjects had not been saddened by the news. She cared, and that was enough for him to care too.
"What am I doing?" muttered Geralt to himself as he adjusted the horse's saddle. "Wasting days of travel just for a wounded animal." Roach snorted, shaking her head and tugging at the reins in the witcher's hands. He took a moment to pet the animal, letting out an airy chuckle. "I know, I know, she's worth it." He added before setting off down the path to where she stood waiting for him. She had won yet again.
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“Oh stop being so grumpy! It wasn’t that bad.” She exclaimed, playfully nudging at his shoulder in an attempt to get a smile out of the witcher. He had been silent for hours now, communicating with her through grunts and frowns. Sure, the rain that had caught them in the middle of their journey wasn't ideal, but at least they were close to town when the first drops began to fall from the sky. "For a person who lives on the road, you don't seem too used to riding in a little rain."
"I am, I just find it annoying when we weren't supposed to be out in the rain in the first place." Geralt grumbled and she smiled, happy that he was back to communicating verbally.
"You don't know that, something else could have slowed us down along the way."
"Yes, probably another wounded animal." he mumbled to himself, though she heard him anyway and gave him a punch in the shoulder that probably hurt her more than it hurt him.
"We saved a vulnerable creature from a terrible fate, you should be proud of that!" She insisted, pushing open the doors of the inn where they had stopped for shelter.
The warmth from the interior suddenly hit her, embracing her wet skin and making her realize how cold she really was. The cloak she'd worn to protect herself from the water didn't do much given the force of the storm, but she would never admit that to Geralt - to do so would mean agreeing with him and she wasn't about to do that, not in that at least. The inn's common room was full of people, some wet and tired like them, others dancing and singing, no doubt after having had a few too many drinks. There was a fireplace in the center of the room that provided warmth and illumination. Her eyes were lost in the glowing flames for a moment, wishing she could get closer to the fire to keep the cold from chilling her bones. But she gave Geralt a quick glance and knew she couldn't do that, not without him smiling victoriously at her. So instead she decided to approach who seemed to be the owner of the place to get a room.
"You stay here, he's not going to give us a room if he sees that look on your face." she said, disappearing into the sea of people before Geralt could defend himself against her comment —although he was fairly certain she had a point.
The inn owner seemed to be a kind man, though he looked overwhelmed with the number of visitors he was receiving. Apparently the storm had brought with it more people than usually passed through those roads and the man and his helpers struggled to accommodate them all. He was running from place to place, checking the available rooms at every turn and chasing after his workers to escort people to their quarters. The waitresses were also overworked, navigating the crowds of people to bring jars of beer and plates of warm food to the tables full of cold people. Taking a closer look at the state of the place made her begin to fear that she might not find an available room. She had no idea how far it would be to the next inn, but even if it was a couple of feet away, it would be too far for the heavy rain falling from the sky. If they had to go out and get wet again, she would have to put up with Geralt's scowl for the rest of the night and as cute as he looked when he was angry, she didn't feel like listening to his complaints.
“Letha! Could you please check if room ten is still available?” The man shouted, calling out to his maid, when she asked if they still had any rooms available. "I'm sorry, it'll just be a moment."
"Busy night, huh?" She tried to make small talk, finding the silence too uncomfortable to bear.
"Yeah, it's a miracle! I haven't had the place this crowded in a long time."
"Why not? It's a beautiful place."
"There have been strange happenings going on in this part of town that affected businesses like mine." The man explained with some sadness and insecurity in his voice. It was subtle, but enough to peak his curiosity. So she continued to question him in hopes that he would share more of that mystery with her.
"There have been strange disappearances, people vanishing into thin air leaving almost no trace of their passage through these lands. At first they were just travelers, so no one really noticed or cared, myself included. Until it started to happen a lot more frequently. Every couple of days someone would find some traveler's belongings scattered along the road leading out of town, but no trace of the person. Eventually word spread and travelers stopped using this road to come into town and both my business and neighboring ones were severely affected."
"Do you know what it is that is causing these disappearances? Do you have any theories?"
"People say the road is cursed, I've heard people talk about an evil witch and others claim it's a punishment from the gods, but no one knows what's really going on. The rest of the town doesn't believe us much either, so the mayor doesn't do anything about it."
"He's going to pay for that mistake," a waitress interrupted the conversation, leaving the empty tray on the counter as she leaned over the wood to join the conversation. "It's getting worse. Now that there's no more travelers, people from the town are starting to disappear. If he doesn't believe us now, he will soon."
The young princess wanted to continue investigating, but before she could ask about the recent disappearances, the maid returned to tell her that room ten was ready for use. She thanked her and paid for the night using the money she had earned selling her goods at the fair in the village where she lived. It was her way of compensating Geralt for the inconvenience caused without having to admit to his face that he was right.
"We have a room for the night, can you please change your attitude now?" She announced when she returned to him.
Despite her request, Geralt's frown became more prominent. Only this time his eyes were not on her, but on something that had caught his attention over her shoulder. She looked at him with a strange look on her eyes, but before she could ask him what it was that was bothering him now, she felt the weight of a hand on her shoulder. Turning, she met the face of a curly-haired man that had the most beautiful hazel eyes she had ever seen. He was cute, she thought, so she offered him a smile.
He introduced himself as Arlan, not wasting a second before showing his true intentions as he made a subtle bow while kissing the back of her hand in a flirtatious manner. He mentioned something about her beauty - how he had noticed her as soon as she walked through the doors since she lit up the room with her smile or something like that - a corny line, but one that could have been effective were it not for the fact that her heart already belonged to someone else. The man invited her to dine with him in a very respectful manner, and a part of her was tempted to accept his offer. After all, she wasn't used to receiving that kind of attention. But before she could utter a sound, Geralt cleared his throat behind her back to make himself noticed.
"She can't, she's busy. Goodbye." He answered for her in a much more serious and intimidating tone than usual. He fixed his gaze on the man, looking at him with that intimidating look he gave when he wanted to make sure no one bothered him. His yellow eyes flared with anger, his brow furrowed in annoyance. It didn't take long before the man fled in fright, muttering something about rescheduling for another time with no real conviction in his voice.
"Geralt!" the young woman turned to deliver a punch on his shoulder. "That wasn't very nice of you! Why did you do that?"
"He was being annoying, so I made him leave."
"No he wasn't, he was being nice and polite." She crossed her arms, looking at the witcher with confusion. She had never seen him act like this before. Grumpy and bitter, sure, hundreds of times, but there was something different about the way he reacted. He had been too quick to dismiss the man, speaking through gritted teeth as if he was holding back the urge to separate his head from his neck. It made no sense, the poor guy was just flirting with her, no reason to spark such a reaction from Geralt.
Unless...
"Is that jealousy I detect in those intimidating yellow eyes?" She laughed and Geralt let out a snort. "Are you jealous? Were you afraid I was going to leave you for him?" She was partially joking, taking the opportunity to tease him and see if she could get a smile out of him, but she couldn't deny that the mere possibility of that being true made her heart beat rapidly in her chest.
"I'm not jealous, I'm protecting you from a bastard that wants nothing more than to defile your honor."
"He didn't seem like a bastard to me."
"We were outside in the pouring rain, sunshine. You're soaking wet and your clothes stick to your body leaving nothing to the imagination. That's all he saw when you walked into the room, not your smile or whatever lie he told."
Geralt didn't want to sound mean, but the truth was that she could be very innocent at times. She was unaware of the effect she had on others, especially when it came to physical attraction. Geralt saw the way men looked at her and didn't like it one bit. But she didn't usually notice those details, which made him want to protect her even more.
She wanted to scold him, but he gave her no chance as he took her by the arm and dragged her through the crowd to their room. The moment the door closed behind them, Geralt instructed her to take off her wet clothes before she got sick. She let out a giggle as she took off her wet cloak, telling him that he should at least invite her to eat before asking her to do something like that. 
"I mean, at least Arlan was willing to do that." She joked and Geralt gave her an unamused look.
"You know what I meant."
"Yes, and I just made a joke. Lighten up a bit! You know it won't kill you to smile, right?" The witcher replied by tossing her the bag with the extra clothes she had brought, giving her a last glance before starting to change himself.
The young princess's eyes admired his naked torso for longer than was appropriate. She was used to seeing him like this, but she could never get used to the tingling in her stomach when she noticed the way the muscles in his back and arms flexed when he moved. It left her completely stupid for a few seconds, mind malfunctioning as the images of his body occupied the full capacity of her thoughts. She noticed the water droplets sliding down his skin, traveling down his scars until they disappeared at the line of his pants. That gave her the urge to reach out to touch him, to trace those lines with her own fingers, but the sound of Geralt clearing his throat brought her out of her trance.
With her face burning with embarrassment, the young woman blurted out a quick comment about how well the last wound she had treated was healing. It was a stupid excuse and not at all believable, but it was better than admitting that she lost her mind every time he took off his shirt. He knew she was lying. She knew he knew she was lying. But she didn't give him time to react, grabbing her clothes and disappearing for a much needed bath.
Geralt stood alone in the room, staring at the wood of the door with a small smile plastered on his face. She looked adorable when she was flustered and he was proud to be the reason behind it. It was a kind of vindication that put his jealousy to rest after having to endure the audacity of that man and her teasing in response. The unspoken thing they shared wasn't just in his head. She only had eyes for him, just as he only had eyes for her.
It was rather twisted of him to want her so much when he knew he couldn't –or rather, shouldn't— have her. Geralt knew that nothing good could come from him following his feelings. They were not meant to be together, they were far too different, with far too opposite lives. He would only end up hurting her either physically, putting her life at risk because of his profession, or emotionally, when reality would explode the fantasy bubble and force them to face it. He was not meant to settle down in one place and live a calm and happy life. Maybe at some point in the distant past he was, long before he went through the mutation process that had turned him into the witcher he was now. But he had accepted long ago that that life, the possibilities and paths he could have taken, had died the moment the mutations began to change his body. It made no sense to duel in the past, to fight against nature to force something that was impossible. It was a waste of time and energy.
Geralt had lived by that principle most of his life. However, when it came to her he couldn't help but wonder what would happen if he decided to stay, if he left everything behind to follow his heart. Intoxicated by the scent of her hair and enraptured by the sound of her laughter it was easy to lose himself in the fantasy that they had a future together, that their relationship could be more than fleeting visits and late night escapes to avoid facing the reality of the mornings. He would have to be extra careful on this trip, control his emotions so as not to give in to the fantasy.
By the time she returned, Geralt was waiting for her with a tray of food resting on the small table in the center of the room. There were two plates of steaming stew, some bread, and two jars of ale. She smiled at the gesture, feeling warmth spreading through her body from her stomach as she approached Geralt. 
"What is this?" She asked him, sitting down in the free chair to better inspect the food.
"I thought we'd be more comfortable eating here, away from all the noise and the people walking around." He explained as he brought the jar of beer to his mouth. She looked at him for a moment, studying his face with her eyes before letting out a chuckle. "What?"
"You really don't want me around that man, huh?" He looked at her, but didn't answer, though she didn't need him to know the answer to her question. "It's a shame because now we won't get to hear the stories about this place and the details about the job I found for you."
"What job?"
She smiled at his curiosity and proceeded to tell him what little she had managed to get out of the inn owner about the strange disappearances threatening the village. They discussed the details as they ate, debating whether there would be any veracity to the man's claims or if they were all bullshit. She felt proud of herself for having been the one to discover the problem, happy to be able to show Geralt that her presence was not completely useless. 
She could get used to his life, be more than his healer. She needed some time to get used to his rhythms, but she could be useful. She could get used to anything to be by his side, to share more than a couple of days with him and then miss him for months. If this trip had proven anything, it was that no matter where they were, she would always feel at home if Geralt was by her side. He was her true home, the place where she belonged. She had been going mad looking for her purpose, her place in the world, when in reality she had already found it. It was to be by Geralt's side, to heal him and protect him from all evil. He was the piece she was missing, the only one capable of filling the emptiness that weighed her down. She wanted to be with him, she needed him to feel complete, and she was willing to do anything to show Geralt that a future together was possible, that she could adapt to live in his world.
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Another disappearance occurred that same night while the town slept, but no one heard about it until the next morning, after the storm had passed. Geralt spent the day listening to the stories and opinions of anyone willing to speak on the subject, which, honestly, were more than he expected. Having his sweet princess by his side helped people open up to him. Normally he used to appear too intimidating, but with her by his side everything was easier. She was so kind and caring when talking to people that no one could refuse to answer her questions. Geralt found it comforting to know that he was not the only one unable to resist her charms.
They were talking to a waitress about the rumors she had heard when a woman entered the inn. She immediately caught Geralt's attention because she looked visibly distressed. Her voice was muffled and in her trembling hands she held a cloth handkerchief that she used to wipe away the tears that streamed down her cheeks. Apparently she knew the owner of the inn because she asked to speak to him personally and burst into tears in his arms when the answer to her question was negative. Geralt gestured to the young princess and they approached them to find out if the woman's grief had anything to do with their little investigation.
"Is there anything we can do to help?" She said in a soft tone so as not to upset the poor woman even more.
"Her son is missing." The innkeeper explained to them as he tried to calm the woman's desperate crying with gentle caresses on her back. "He went out last night and never came back home. She's been asking around town and nobody has seen him."
"Is it possible that he got lost in the storm?" Geralt asked and the man shook his head, assuring him that the young man was a skilled traveler and tracker who knew the town like the back of his hand.
"It was her! I told him it wasn't wise to go out... let someone else take care of her... but he didn't listen." The woman spoke between sobs emerging from the innkeeper's arms to wipe her tears with her handkerchief.
"I'm sorry, her? There was a woman?" The princess asked and the woman nodded her head. She then proceeded to tell them about her son's last moments.
Apparently he was sheltering their farm animals from the storm when he noticed a young woman standing in the rain. She had long, jet black hair that clung to her pale skin from the water. Her dress was dirty and had the edges of the skirt in shreds, as if she had been running through the forest and the fabric had been torn by branches and bushes. She looked lost and out of place, so the young man felt the need to help her. Her mother had objected to him inviting her to spend the night at their house, acting cautiously since rumors of the mysterious disappearances had only grown in recent months. So the young man told her that he would just make sure she was all right and accompany her to an inn for the night. She watched them disappear into the darkness from her kitchen window and that was the last contact she had with her son.
"I knew something was wrong." The woman sobbed. "She was just standing there in the rain, like she was waiting for someone to pass by and fall for her trap. I should have stopped him, I should have done more." The princess patted her shoulder in support, trying to do something to make the woman feel better —even though she knew nothing she could do or say would ease the pain of a mother worried about her child.
"You are a witcher, isn't there something that you can do?" The innkeeper asked and the woman looked at him with a glimmer of hope in her eyes. It was clear that she was so distressed that she had not been able to recognize the clear details that indicated that the big, strong man in front of her was not an ordinary human.
"I don't have much, but I can talk to my neighbors, the other people affected by this creature, everybody who believes it's a threat to the town and find a way to pay for your service... anything to find my boy and make sure this doesn't happen again."
Geralt named his price before the woman ran out of there to round up her neighbors, though he would have taken care of the problem even if they didn't pay him for his services. He then set out to walk through the town, visiting some of the places that had been mentioned by the locals in search of evidence, though he had a good idea what it was that was haunting the locals. The princess followed him closely, remaining surprisingly silent for a long time. She wanted to give him space to work, to let him concentrate and do whatever it was he needed to do to help the villagers. But after spending several minutes in silence, she could no longer contain her curiosity.
"So, what do you think?" She eventually asked him as they walked down the road where most of the disappearances had occurred, just outside of town. "Any theories about what this thing is?"
"For what they describe, I'm almost certain it is a Bruxa." The witcher replied, leaning over the ground to inspect possible footprints. "And it has to have a refugee nearby."
"A Bruxa?" She repeated with a slight frown of confusion. She had never heard that term before. Truth be told, she had never heard of most of the creatures Geralt told her about. Her kingdom was small, quiet, they didn't usually have attacks from beasts of that nature. And if they did, her parents didn't tell her about it. In her kingdom magic and everything related to it were frowned upon, hence she had learned about her abilities from a servant girl who taught her in secret from everyone. From what she understood, magic ran in the family's blood —although it tended to skip generations—, but it had always brought trouble and misfortune, so it had been forbidden in the kingdom, leaving her completely alienated and unaware of the best stories and legends the continent had to offer.
"It's a type of vampire, very powerful, that usually takes the form of a dark haired young woman to lure people into its trap."
"So you know how to kill it? I mean, of course you know how to kill it, what am I saying!"
Geralt bit back a smile. "Silver does the trick, but we need to find it first."
He explained that they usually lived away from large conglomerations of people as a form of protection, but the fact that she always attacked on the same road made him think that she must be taking refuge nearby. So they wandered through the forest surrounding the road to the village, looking for any sign that might indicate the bruxa's whereabouts. But the creature was clever, it knew how to cover its tracks, so they spent most of the day walking around and only found a couple of drops of blood and drag marks that led them nowhere. Suddenly, the princess understood how she had managed to go unnoticed for so long. If she hadn't talked to the locals and listened to the sobs of that desperate mother, she wouldn't believe that anything out of the ordinary was going on there.
"I think we are not being smart about this." She broke the silence as her patience began to wear thin. "We are never going to find her like this."
"What do you suggest we do?" Geralt inquired, partially intrigued by whatever it was she had in mind. It was interesting for him to work with her. Usually he did things alone, but her naive curiosity and sweet kindness provided a different look that changed his usual patterns.
"We know she's going to attack again, right? So we just have to make sure we are there next time to stop her."
"We can't predict who she will stack next."
"No, but we can lure her out of hiding... bring the food out here to her to tempt her and hopefully force her to make a mistake."
"So, you're saying we should use someone as bait?" Geralt looked at her with a raised eyebrow. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't surprised by her words, she didn't seem like the type of person who was willing to put others at risk for a greater good. Granted, he was going to be there the whole time and wouldn't let anything bad happen, but still, he couldn't believe that idea had come from the same young woman who had made him backtrack days of travel to help an injured animal find his family.
"Not someone. Me." She said almost casually, preparing to meet the witcher's firm refusal. He looked at her for a moment, thinking she was playing some kind of joke on him that he didn't find funny. But when he saw the determination in her eyes he had to intervene.
"Absolutely not! It's too dangerous." His tone was serious as was his gaze, a way of letting her know that this time he would not give in. 
"What other choice do we have? Wait for it to kill someone else? Wander aimlessly around the woods for eternity?" She tried to reason with him. They had been walking around there for hours without much success and, while this was not something she did often, she suspected that things would not improve even if they kept looking. The bruxa was smart and wasn't going to let herself be found easily. Waiting for her to attack again was not an option either. Geralt was just one man and there was too much ground to cover. And there was no way to predict who her next victim would be. If they wanted to end this quickly they would have to force her out of hiding.
"I'm not using you as bait, sunshine." Geralt growled.
"Well, we can't risk the lives of the people in town and you can't be the bait either because she will know what you are. I don't see any other option, Geralt."
"I'm not going to risk your life for this, forget it."
"My life would not be at risk, not with you there. I trust you, probably more than I should." She tried to joke to ease the tension in the air, but Geralt did not laugh. His eyes softened, however, touched by her faith in him. It warmed his heart to notice the admiration in her eyes, the way she looked at him as if she was sure he could handle anything. It meant a lot to him that she trusted him with her life, but he couldn't help thinking that part of her did it because she was too innocent and unaware of the real risks his profession entailed. That was the only way she could be volunteering for such a task.
"Sunshine..." Geralt's voice became softer, a subtle plea for her to reconsider her stance.
"I want to do it. I want to help you... I want to help the people in town." She bit her tongue to keep from blurting out what she really wanted to say. More than anything else, she wanted to prove herself and show Geralt that his life was not incompatible with hers. Maybe she would need some training, but there was a place for her in Geralt's world. She knew it now and hoped she could prove it to him.
Geralt looked at her and once again knew he couldn't refuse her. He hated the way she was able to convince him of anything with a simple look. All she had to do was bat her eyelashes and he would fall surrendered at her feet, willing to do anything she wanted. 
"If we're going to do this, I need you to promise me that you'll listen to everything I say." the witcher sighed, defeated. "And I mean it this time. If I tell you to run, you run. If I tell you to hide, you hide. Is that clear?" She nodded, but that wasn't enough for him. Several times in the past she had promised the same thing and failed to deliver. He needed to make sure she understood the gravity of the situation. "I mean it, sunshine, there is no room for error in this."
The young princess then took one of Geralt's hands between her own. He was much larger than she was so that she had to use both of her hands in order to completely envelop one of his. She gave it a light squeeze and looking into his eyes as she said, "I promise to follow your every order this time."
It wasn't enough to loosen the knot that had formed in the witcher's stomach, but it was a start.
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She lost count of how many times she had tossed and turned in bed since she went to sleep. They had a long day ahead of them tomorrow, so Geralt decided it would be best to get a good night's sleep. She had agreed with him, especially since she felt tired after the long walk through the forest they had taken. But the moment her head hit the pillow, sleep disappeared from her body. She still felt tired —the muscles in her legs complained from the exercise and her eyelids were heavy as if she hadn't blinked for hours—, yet she was unable to fall asleep. It was as if her own mind was refusing to rest, seeking to punish her for who knows what.
She was surprised that Geralt hadn't complained about her restlessness already. He was a light sleeper and usually the slightest movement would wake him up. Several times in the past she had earned grunts of annoyance and even forced hugs for her inability to sit still, but when she turned once more to look at him she noticed that he had his eyes closed and his breathing was relaxed. She could see half of his face thanks to the moonlight coming through the window, illuminating his features and making him look softer than usual. She always loved to watch him sleep. There were not many occasions when she had the opportunity to do so since she was always the one who fell asleep first. But on the rare occasions when he did fall asleep first, she loved to admire him in silence as he rested. There was something so special and intimate about it-the way his chest moved up and down with his soft breathing, how his features relaxed completely beneath the unruly strands of white hair that clung to his face-she simply couldn't take her eyes off him.
It usually brought her peace to see him sleeping so peacefully. She fought the heaviness of her eyelids as much as she could, wanting to take advantage of every second of those moments to admire his beauty in a way she couldn't when he was awake, but eventually sleep always got the better of her. Just looking at him being so comfortable and relaxed next to her was enough to silence any voice in her mind that deprived her of her sleep. So she turned her attention back to the man lying to her left in the hope that it would help her sleep as it always did. She ran her eyes over his face, admiring the way his eyelashes almost caressed his cheeks, tracing the shape of his nose and cheek bone. Down his defined jawline to his neck and then she became distracted by the scars that adorned his body. She had them memorized after healing his wounds for so long, to the point that she didn't need the moonlight to fully shine on his chest to locate them on his skin. Even in the dark she could visualize them in her mind.
Her eyes focused on the scar that adorned his collarbone. A long, thin line was all that remained of the deep cut she had had to heal. Her finger traced the textured skin as her mind was lost in the memories of that night. It wasn't the worst state he had been in when he had shown up at her door, but still his wounds were quite deep. She had first had to clean the blood that covered his chest in order to find them all. 
She liked Geralt's scars. Not only were they a part of him that she couldn't picture him without, but they were also a physical representation of his history. He carried imprinted on his skin the moments they had shared together, an indelible sign that marked her passage through the witcher's life. And every time she saw them, she couldn't help but remember those moments.
“You can't sleep either, huh?” Geralt's hoarse voice took her by surprise, snapping her out of her thoughts. When she looked up she met the witcher's amber eyes watching her curiously. A cheeky smile formed on his lips as he noticed her embarrassment at being caught in that position. She removed her hand from his chest as if his skin was burning her fingers, feeling the blood from his body travel up to pool in her cheeks. Geralt had to restrain the urge to put her hand back where it was, already missing the gentle caress of her fingers on his skin.
"No." She replied in a small voice, refusing to look up to meet his face.
There were a few seconds of silence before Geralt spoke again. "Are you scared for tomorrow?"
"I don't know if scared would be exactly the word I would use, but certainly nervous. I guess, I don't really know what to expect and that makes me feel weird... but I want to do it, so you can't convince me otherwise." she hurried to say to make sure Geralt knew she was strong and determined.
The witcher sighed and there was another moment of silence before she worked up the courage to speak again, this time looking up to meet his eyes. "Are you? Scared, I mean."
“I suppose it worries me that you may get hurt in the fight.”
"Well, don't be. Everything will be fine, you are going to kill the bruxa and nothing bad will happen to me or the people in town." She tried to reassure him, giving him a small smile. Geralt appreciated the gesture, but wished things were that simple. 
"It's not as simple as that." He sighed, reaching up to brush a strand of her hair away from her face so he could get a good look at her in the dim moonlight. "Things can escalate really quickly and go wrong... I'm not invincible, sunshine. It happened to me before and it cost the life of a princess too."
A sudden sadness came into Geralt's eyes. He was looking at her, but it was as if he was looking right through her as he got lost in thought. She wondered what kind of memories were flooding his mind. He never told her about that story and she couldn't help but be curious. She wanted to ask him if he wanted to talk about it, but regretted it at the last minute, choosing to comfort him rather than question him.
"I'm not completely useless, you know? Back at the castle they taught me to defend myself."
"Not from these creatures, sunshine." She could sense the concern in his voice. It warmed her heart to know that he cared so much about her. It almost made her want to give up, just to bring some peace to his troubled mind. But she couldn't, she had to prove herself, prove she could do it.
Reaching out, she let her fingers trace the line of his cheek bone. Geralt closed his eyes momentarily, enjoying the warmth of her caress. Then he rested his own hand on top of hers, trapping it in place so she couldn't pull it away. He needed that. He needed to feel her, her warmth, her affection, it helped him silence his thoughts.
"Would it help quiet your mind if you taught me some tricks to protect myself?" She asked him in a soft voice. "I'm a fast learner."
"Well, I suppose I could teach you about the signs. You have an aptitude for magic, so I'm certain that you will be able to conjure them."
Geralt slipped her hand from his cheek, but kept his hand on hers at all times as he briefly explained what the signs were and the uses they had. She listened carefully to every word, admiring the way his lips moved as he spoke. She loved when he told her stories of his adventures or explained details about his world, not only because she found his deep, monotone voice incredibly soothing, but also because it made her feel closer to him. 
"I think the best ones to teach you right now are Aard and Quen. They are probably the most useful ones for protecting you from this particular creature." He explained, raising the young woman's hand in the air. "The form and position of your hand is very important when casting a sign. For Aard you have to have your fingers like this."
He pressed his palm against the back of her hand, positioning his fingers over hers. Slowly he bent her middle finger downward, leaving the other four aligned upward. The young woman couldn't help but notice the way Geralt's hand completely covered hers, making her feel smaller than normal next to him. The warmth of his skin felt good, comforting, it made her wish he would never move his hand away from her. She would live holding his hand if that were humanly possible. There was something about feeling his skin against hers that awakened a comforting warmth that spread throughout her entire body. It made her feel comfortable, at peace.
When she looked up, she found that Geralt's eyes were fixed on her face. The blood rushed to her cheeks once again, somehow feeling vulnerable under his watchful gaze. But she detected in them a special glow that let her know he felt the same peace in having their hands intertwined. And that put a small smile on her lips.
"This sign channels the energy of the air, so when you cast it you should focus on that... feel the air around you, how it flows, the way it makes the tree tops shake and your hair dance around you..." Geralt's voice gradually faded to a hoarse whisper. Instinctively he moved a little closer to her, their faces mere inches apart as he lost himself in images of her walking through the forest with a smile as her hair danced in the wind. His eyes fell to her lips and he felt the urge to kiss her. They looked so soft and inviting, so appetizing, as if they had been created just for him to kiss. But before he could act on his urges, her voice snapped him out of his trance, bringing him suddenly back to reality.
"What's the next one like?" She asked, her voice barely a whisper. It was as if she felt sorry for ruining the moment, as if she felt compelled by the tension in the air to say something, but she really didn't want him to hear her.
Geralt cleared his throat before replying. "Quen is a protective sign, it can create a protective shield around you so I'd suggest you learn this one well. To cast it you need to bend your pinky finger, like this." He changed the position of his hand along with hers, helping her with his finger to bend her pinky.
"Can I try?" She sat on the bed to make herself more comfortable and Geralt followed. He placed his hand back on hers and guided her through the summoning process.
"Focus on your surroundings." He whispered in her ear, making her shiver. 
Concentrating was harder than it seemed when she could feel the heat his body emanated and every breath he took. It collided against the sensitive skin of her neck, making the baby hairs on the back of her head stand up. Geralt had to know the effect his closeness had on her. She was pretty sure the entire inn could hear the way her heart was pounding rapidly, crashing violently against her chest. He knew and he was doing it on purpose, she was convinced of that.
"Close your eyes and visualize a shield of energy around you." He continued speaking as if nothing was happening. She listened to him, trying to ignore the butterflies fluttering in her stomach, but it was almost impossible. Especially when she could feel Geralt's lips brushing against her ear as he spoke.
Then she felt a spark, a current of energy shooting from the joining of their hands. She flinched and opened her eyes, taking a moment to admire their hands before looking at Geralt to see if he had felt the same thing she had.
"You almost got it." He encouraged her. "Focus, sunshine, come on."
She took a deep breath, relaxing her shoulders before trying the conjuring again. This time she didn't seek to push the feelings that Geralt's proximity aroused in her. On the contrary, she used them. He was the only thing that mattered to her in that room, the only thing that existed besides her. He was her world, so why not concentrate on him? She let the warmth of his body envelop her, let the scent of leather and wet dirt that was characteristic of him assault her nostrils. She concentrated on the harmonious depth of his voice, letting the baritone sound travel through her ears and through her body.
She felt the spark once again, only it was much stronger this time. Her hand tingled and then she felt a rush of warmth shoot out of her. When she opened her eyes she found a layer of translucent white energy enveloping her and Geralt. It lasted only a few seconds because she broke her concentration, feeling incredibly proud of herself for successfully summoning the signal on her second attempt. It wasn't necessarily a big deal, but ever since she was a child she had grown accustomed to hearing that she was clumsy and useless and couldn't do anything right, so she had gotten into the habit of celebrating even her smallest accomplishments.
"I did it!" The princess exclaimed with a smile, throwing herself into Geralt's arms. Her embrace took him by surprise, but he didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around her waist, pulling her tightly against his chest. He allowed himself to get lost in the warmth of her body for a moment, enjoying the floral scent of her hair as he tried to burn every detail of that moment into his memory.
"Give me a couple of training sessions and I could take your job." She joked, exaggerating her merit, and earning a small smile from Geralt.
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The plan was simple. The princess would pose as a lost traveler looking for directions in the hopes that her apparent vulnerability would force the bruxa to come out of hiding. Geralt would be following her closely, hiding among the trees and bushes so as not to draw attention to himself. Once the fight broke out, she was under strict orders to run to Roach and take cover in a safe area where he had marked the Yrden sign on a tree. If they were lucky he would manage to draw the creature's attention to him long enough for her to escape. He doubted it would follow her after that, the bruxa seemed to be too clever to risk entering an area protected by Yrden just to catch a girl.
Even though the creature usually preferred to hunt men —probably because they were easier to trick—, it didn't take long for it to appear on the trail just where the villagers said it would. It happened in the blink of an eye, and without much sign of its presence other than the sound of branches and leaves rustling near them. The princess was on edge, hyper-aware of every little noise she heard and every movement her eyes could see in the dim moonlight. She jumped in place when she heard the sound of a branch snapping, and turned to look for the source of the sound. She scanned the darkness with her eyes as best she could, but found nothing suspicious, so she returned her gaze to the front.
That's when she saw her.
She was tall and slender, with skin that looked like porcelain. Her long black hair hid her face, though she could feel her intense gaze locked on her. She was standing in front of her, separated by just a couple of inches, and the princess had no idea where she had come from.
She struggled to keep her breathing at a normal level as she spoke explaining her situation to it, hoping it wouldn't be able to hear the rapid beating of her heart or detect the adrenaline coursing through her veins. The last thing she wanted was for the bruxa to discover the trap because of her poor acting skills.
"Oh, I'm sorry that happened to you." The creature said with faked empathy, taking the princess by the hand. She thought about pulling free from its grip, but decided against it at the last moment, thinking it would be too obvious. Geralt was close by and she trusted him completely. "The village is far, you are not going to get there by foot until tomorrow morning."
The bruxa was lying. Her favorite place to hunt wasn't that far from the village and while it might be annoying to walk the distance, it was probably a two hour walk at most. The princess wondered how many poor travelers would have fallen into that trap, believing her words without knowing that in reality salvation was much closer.
"You look tired." The bruxa affirmed and to the princess's surprise, she began to feel the weight on her eyelids and tired body. "I have a place nearby, you can spend the night there and tomorrow you can continue your travel. There's food and a warm bed for you to sleep in."
She was neither tired nor hungry, but the black-haired woman's words sounded tempting. She almost had to fight the urge to accept her proposal, even though she knew that nothing but death awaited her there. The creature was probably using its charms on her, enchanting her into agreeing to go with it without making a scene and attracting the attention of the villagers. She knew it and yet she couldn't resist. If it wasn't for Geralt appearing at that precise moment, she didn't know what would have become of her.
"Run!" was all the witcher said to her as he separated her from the bruxa. His eyes were completely black and his skin was much paler than usual. She had seen him fight before, but never while in his full witcher form. It caught her off guard but she managed to pull herself together quickly enough to get away from the area before the fight really started.
She heard the echoes of the bruxa's screams as she ran. They were deafening and she honestly couldn't believe how Geralt managed to endure them at such close proximity. She had to make the effort not to look back, knowing that if she saw what was happening she wouldn't be able to resist the urge to go over and help him. When she reached Roach she noticed the mare was upset, neighing and whinnying as if she could feel the tension in the air and the fear the princess felt.
"Shh, shh, it's fine! Everything is going to be okay." She tried to calm her down, stroking her soft fur as she watched the fight unfold a few feet away. "Geralt has it under control."
Every word of encouragement she blurted out for Roach, was a word of encouragement for her as well. She knew that Geralt was a very experienced witcher who had probably fought and killed many beasts equally or more dangerous than that bruxa even before she was born, but she couldn't help but worry for his life as she watched the battle. The creature was fast and precise with its attacks, using its scream to stun Geralt whenever it was at a disadvantage. He was able to hurt her a couple of times, but it was nothing lethal so he only managed to infuriate her. And even though she was bleeding even more than he was, that didn't make it any easier to see him get thrown into the air by the bruxa's deafening scream.
In the midst of the battle, the bruxa tried to flee. It changed its human form, transforming into something that the princess could only describe as a bat, only much larger and more horrifying. It spread its long wings and lifted off, escaping from Geralt's clutches just in time. But it didn't disappear for long, as a few seconds later it flew towards him once again, swooping down like a bird determined to catch its prey. Geralt braced himself for the attack and almost succeeded in striking it in the torso with the silver sword. But at the last moment the creature flew up, circled in the air and descended again on the witcher. Only this time it used its scream to launch him a couple of feet away. 
Geralt's sword fell to the ground away from his hand at the same time as his head hit a rock. The princess held her breath as she watched the scene unfold in front of her eyes, unconsciously taking a few steps to get closer to him. He was moving, so at least she knew he wasn't dead, but he looked really dazed. The bruxa was flying high circling him like a crow, preparing to attack.
"Come on, Geralt, come on!" She muttered in the darkness, taking a couple more steps. Her eyes went from him to the bruxa, watching its movements, and back to him. He was beginning to regain his abilities, but unfortunately the bruxa had decided it was time to finish him off. Even though Geralt was getting back up, there was no way he could get to his sword in time, and she didn't see anything else he could use to defend himself. So she did the only thing she could do at that moment. She ran at him, breaking the one rule Geralt had imposed on her.
She knew it was stupid and risky, but the adrenaline in her veins and the fear of losing Geralt clouded her thinking. She ran to him ready to assist him because she refused to stand still a second longer, watching helplessly as that creature finished him off. It was reckless and dangerous as hell, but what else could she do when the man she loved was in mortal danger? She would never forgive herself if something happened to him that night because she did nothing to help him. 
She couldn't lose him, not like this, not now that they were so close to starting to think about a future together. So she ran as fast as she could, reaching the center of the battle before the bruxa managed to get her claws on her beloved. She then cast an Aard signal, Geralt's words echoing in her mind as a wave of energy was expelled from her hand. She managed to knock the bruxa down a couple of feet away, probably because it wasn't expecting her to join the fight. However, the victory didn't last long as the creature got up and rose into the air, only this time she was its target.
She could hear Geralt's voice shouting her name in the distance, urging her to run for cover, but seeing the speed of the bruxa's flight she knew she wouldn't get very far if she tried to run. So she planted herself in place and cast the Quen signal, creating a protective field around her that she hoped would hold until Geralt could reach her. She struggled to maintain her concentration, pushing aside her fear of facing this beast. But even her best effort could not stand against the bruxa's powerful scream. The moment she opened her mouth, the young woman's shield shattered and she was thrown into the air. 
She felt the way her body cut through the wind as she flew. The world around her became a blur as she moved at a speed unnatural for a human being. And then her body hit a tree and she fell to the ground. She felt a sharp pain in the back of her head that left her dazed and disoriented. She could hear Geralt's voice calling her name, but it sounded far away. She tried to get up, but her surroundings began to spin as soon as she moved. She felt a warm, sticky liquid coating her hair, but she didn't have the mental capacity to recognize that it was blood gushing from a wound on her head. She was too disoriented to recognize her own surroundings.
In the midst of the confusion, she was able to feel the bruxa's claws digging into her shoulders. As blurry as her vision was, she could make out the beast's face hanging over hers. She thought that this was going to be the end of her, that horrible image being the last thing she would see before she died. She thought of all the things she regretted, of all the experiences she had missed. And she thought of Geralt too. She thought about how much she loved him and how sorry she was that she hadn't been up front with him about how she felt. Maybe things could have been different if she had told him how much she loved him, but now it was too late.
The bruxa brought her face closer to her and the princess closed her eyes, ready to accept her fate. But instead of feeling her teeth clinging to his neck, she heard it let out a pained whimper. Suddenly, she stopped feeling the weight of its body on hers or the sharpness of its claws on her shoulders. And when she opened her eyes she was met with Geralt's face, who was kneeling beside her.
She felt the warmth of his hands on her cheeks and heard the distant, muffled sound of his voice calling her name and asking her to stay with him. She tried to answer him, but her dazed mind was unable to utter coherent words. She felt cold and tired, the urge to close her eyes growing stronger with each passing second.
"Geralt..." was all she was able to utter before everything went black.
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When she opened her eyes again it was already morning, she could tell by the sunlight streaming through the window. It took her a few seconds to understand where she was. Her head was throbbing and her vision was still a little blurry, although she didn't know if it was because of the sleep or her injuries. She tried to move, but regretted it almost immediately when she felt the muscles in her body twitch in pain. She let out a hoarse grunt in protest and felt the sound of someone approaching her. It was then that she realized she was back in her room at the inn and that the man next to her was Geralt.
"You're back." he murmured, sitting down next to her on the bed. "How are you feeling?"
"Like absolute shit, but I'll live." she answered with honesty, making an effort to sit up in bed. Geral helped her, reminding her to take it easy as he arranged the pillow to help support her back more comfortably. "What happened exactly?"
"What do you remember?"
She took a moment to think. She remembered being thrown into the air by the bruxa's scream. She remembered the hard impact of her body against a tree trunk and falling to the cold damp ground of the forest, but it was all a blur after that. She knew she had been scared, that she thought she would die and that one of her last thoughts had been Geralt, but she was missing a few key points that would help her connect it all into a coherent line of events.
"I remember being thrown around and hitting a tree, but not much after that." she finally said, skipping the part where she vividly remembered thinking about how much she loved him.
"That's because you hit your head," he explained. "You were bleeding a lot. I barely got to you before you passed out."
There was a hint of sadness and concern in his voice that made her feel bad for taking such a risk. She could almost feel the despair he had felt at that moment just by looking into his eyes. It made her want to apologize, though she regretted it at the last second. Why would she apologize to him? For risking her life? It was her life, so his opinion shouldn't matter. For hurting herself? It wasn't as if she had done it on purpose. Besides, she wasn't sorry for what she had done. He was in trouble and she stepped in to help him. Even if she had ended up with more serious injuries —or even died— she wouldn't have cared as long as she knew he was okay because of it. His safety was always her top priority, whether it was when he arrived at her front door injured, or when they were in the middle of a battlefield. Her purpose in life was to be by his side to take care of him, so she couldn't let him die at the hands of that bruxa.
"Thank you." She spoke after a long silence. She decided to thank him instead of apologizing, it was more honest to what she really felt and not what she thought she had to say based on the expression on Geralt's face. "I'm guessing you are the one who saved me, so thank you for saving my life."
Geralt let out a long sigh. "I shouldn't have had to. You were supposed to stay behind, out of harm's way." 
His intention was not to scold her so quickly. She had barely regained consciousness and he was already complaining about her actions and lack of care. He had spent the entire night awake beside her, watching her sleep in the hopes of seeing her open her eyes again. He imagined that when she did, he would hold her in his arms and tell her how much he loved her, how terrified he had been of losing her and how happy he was to have her back. His intention was to take care of her and make her feel supported and loved. But for some reason seeing her in that weakened state had once again brought out in him that horrible terror he felt when he saw her approach the bruxa. 
If the circumstances were different, or if she were someone else, he could probably tell her openly how proud he was of the way she had handled the situation. She had been able to cast the signs without any trouble and for her first time in a battle situation with such a creature, she had been very brave and had put up a good fight. In the future, with more training, he could come to see her as a good ally on the battlefield. The problem was that her life was too important to him to risk it that way. He was used to injuries and being tossed around by the monsters he fought. Hell, he had been created specifically to endure it! But she wasn't. She was a human, fragile and delicate, not made to withstand that kind of combat.
Geralt could not remember a time in his recent past when he had felt the fear that swept over him the moment he saw her challenge the bruxa. And when she fell to the ground after being thrown several feet into the air, he felt the world around him stop for a second, stomach dropping as he waited and prayed to the gods above that she wasn't dead. The pool of blood under her head, the way her eyes slowly closed after whispering his name, it had all been too much for him. Carrying her fainted and bloodied body in his arms back to the village not knowing if she would ever wake up again filled him with a terror he never wanted to feel again in his life.
"Why did you do it?" he asked her after getting no answer from her other than a guilty look, like that of a child caught by his parents doing something mischievous.
"You were in danger," she muttered, lowering her gaze. "She was going to hurt you."
"I had it under control!"
She let out a snort of disbelief. "It didn't look like it."
"It doesn't matter what it looked like, you were supposed to stay behind! You promised you were going to listen to me this time!" Geralt raised his voice, making the princess flinch. She hated it when people yelled, especially men. It brought back bad memories of the life she had left behind. "What were you thinking? You could have been killed!"
"I wasn't thinking! Is that what you want to hear?" She raised the pitch of her voice to match his. "I saw you on the floor and that thing flying at you and I just acted. I'm sorry, but I couldn't stay behind while the man I... care so much about got killed right in front of me." Tears burned in her eyes, but she refused to blink to let them fall. She was determined not to show weakness at that moment, even though she was pretty sure Geralt could read the pain in her expression.
The witcher's cold yellow eyes softened slightly, recognizing in her the same terror he had felt. But the fact that he could understand what had been going through her head at that moment did not change the fact that her actions had been reckless and unacceptable. That was the problem with them, they cared so much about each other to the point that they would not hesitate to put their own lives at risk to save the other. If he didn't have the profession he had, maybe that wouldn't be an obstacle to their happiness. But the reality was that she could not be by his side, accompanying him in his life at all times, without being exposed to danger. 
Being a witcher meant looking danger in the face, and while he found it sweet that she cared as much for his safety and well-being as he did for hers, traveling with her would only give her more opportunities to hurt herself in order to save him. Being with him put her at risk not only because of the potential dangers they might encounter along the way, but also because of the strength of the connection they shared. She loved him so much that she was willing to sacrifice her life to save his and if he agreed to take her with him on his travels he would be consciously putting her at risk. She was a stubborn and determined woman, so Geralt could be sure that her behavior would not change no matter how many times she told him otherwise. And he loved her too much to risk losing her.
"I don't think this is going to work." Geralt said, standing up from the bed. "This was a mistake, I never should have taken you with me."
Oh.
She hadn't expected those words. She imagined he would be upset with her for disobeying him. She even expected him not to speak to her for the time it would take him to process the situation. But she didn't think he would ever regret her presence there. She thought she had done enough to prove her worth. Sure, things hadn't gone quite right, but she had proven that her skills —magical and non-magical— were of use to him. Perhaps she needed some more training, but she was very good at dealing with people and her vulnerable appearance made her the perfect bait for traps like the one they had set for the bruxa. She didn't expect Geralt to throw all that aside just because of a stupid wound.
"What is that supposed to mean?" she asked him, trying hard not to let her voice crack as she spoke. 
"It means I'm taking you back home as soon as you are ready to travel." Geralt announced in a firm voice before leaving the room with a slam of the door. And just like that, she was left alone, staring at the wood as tears rolled down her cheeks.
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She did not speak on the way back any more than was strictly necessary. She did not smile or comment on the beauty of the scenery around her. She didn't chat with Roach in the mornings or stop to play with or heal any of the animals along the way. She didn't even take the time to smell the flowers or listen to the birds sing. It was as if she was a completely different person. It reminded Geralt of how she was when he first met her, quiet, shy and frightened, always scared to say the wrong thing. Her usual sweet and cheerful glow was absent and he couldn't help but feel guilty about it. 
He recognized that he had not treated the situation with the care he should have, but he also knew he was doing the right thing. He should never have agreed to take her on one of his trips in the first place, so everything that had happened was his fault. He had been led astray by her charms, by the fantasy of believing that their lives were compatible. He wanted it to be true so badly that he had acted without thinking and as a result had hurt the woman he loved most. He had to fix his mistake and to do so he had to start by recognizing that his dreams were just that, dreams. A future together was not possible because he had not been made to settle down and start a family and she would always be in danger if she joined his travels. So, as much as it pained him, it was best for both of them to keep their lives separate and enjoy the fleeting moments of happiness they had when their paths crossed.
Her usual attitude returned to her when they arrived at her house and it was time to say goodbye. No matter how hurt she was, she couldn't bring herself to ignore Geralt knowing that this could be the last time she would see him for a long time. She gave him a hug that was tighter and lasted longer than it probably should have. But it was what they both needed, a moment to appreciate the comforting warmth of each other's bodies, to feel the spark of love they had for each other floating in the air after days of cold silence. They both needed to tell the other that everything they felt was still there in spite of everything. And both needed to recognize it in the other to know that all was not lost.
As they parted, the princess asked Geralt to be careful, just as she always did when she said her goodbyes to him. She then entered her home and sat in the chair near the door, starting the cycle of worry and uncertainty she found herself in whenever he was away from her home. Once again, her eyes were once again fixed on the dark wood, only this time her chest was heavy with the anguish of not knowing if she would ever see Geralt walk through that door again.
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bugcatcherkit · 4 months ago
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very curious about your thoughts on a tome teru ritsu shou friendship. you are one million percent correct but i am also extremely curious what you think her individual dynamics would be with everyone in the group, how she starts hanging out with them, and the general vibes of their private minecraft server
oh my god thank you hfhhehvhe i lovee having space to ramble about my interpretations !!!!!! I am trying so hard to make this short and coherent (I didn't sleep at all last night) so bear with me ok. This got long sooo ...
Tome and Teru bond first by virtue of being work besties turned regular friends. Well, work besties as in Teru hangs out there and helps out a lot but would never officially take the job. Anyway they get along great because they can match each other's weird and eccentric vibe while also having an underlying bit of Understanding between them due to the whole "tried to rationalize their isolation with specific escapist fantasies that indulged it instead of addressed it" thing. I think they help each other bridge whatever gap remains from their difficulties in connecting the supernatural/extraterrestrial/super-powered world and experiences with the regular/normal/ordinary world. like theyre a good balance for each other. Theyre both So Much that it kind of cancels out. I just like to think they help ground each other. This is very important for their enrichment.
Some of their enrichment activities include: Tome trying to get Teru to fucking Relax For Once by introducing him to video games like pokemon but it kind of backfires when he gets Way Too Into It (this is where minecraft comes in also). Making a super expansive OC world and continually referencing it to each other much to everyone else's confusion. Trying to cure their intense boredom by hanging out together but never really knowing what to do, so they're just bored together. Their text messages are mostly funny images they found, not actual conversations. Their solidarity with each other is almost unmatched. They have a warriors bond.
Anyway. ANYWAY. I think Tome is just kind of absorbed into the Teru-Ritsu-Shou friend group mostly because of Teru, and partly because sometimes, very occasionally, Shou will be at S&S because of Ritsu, who is usually there only as a favour. Ritsu and Teru do the exorcism stuff and Tome and Shou have to sort the filing cabinets for the 5 millionth time because Reigen is running out of things that Tome can do. Shou does not mind these tasks. I think Teru and Shou both like having little menial tasks to do whereas Tome doesn’t. For Ritsu is depends on the task and who it’s for a think. But ANYWAY. Anyway they just grow closer from there probably unless I think of something better.
I like to think of the Tome and Shou dynamic for similar reasons as the Teru-Tome dynamic (character comparison reasons). Shou craved normalcy and decided to chase it post-canon. Tome wanted the complete opposite. So I don't think they would exactly see eye-to-eye immediately (why would she want to give up that normalcy vs why would he want mundane normalcy). I think Shou might even find her View of Things a little bit annoying, mostly because I think he'd be high-strung post canon and she is just not helping that, as opposed to him actually disliking anything about her. But because they are both quite considerate of other people, they work through these things and become bros. He actually probably really appreciates her Severe Genuineness and (mostly) unwavering will regarding her passions/beliefs. She probably likes his appreciation for simple normalcy and relaxation because it hammers in again that doing stuff like that isn't a waste. They love doing so much Nothing together because they both like to take it easy. I think they would enjoy parallel playing.
When they hang out they have to stop EVERYTHING they're doing to watch an ant carry something 4x its size across the sidewalk because it is so exciting to them. Shou is in on the OC world by the way. Tome and Teru and Shou develop it like they're in the writers room of a high-budget TV show. He updates her on every little thing his hamsters do.
For some reason I found the Ritsu and Tome dynamic like the most difficult to think about out of all of them. They're probably the least close? Ritsu treats Tome as Mob's friend in the same way that Mob treats Shou as Ritsu's friend -- with immense care and consideration, but not a lot of close contact outside of a group. He tries to be sooo polite with her but she Does Not match his energy. So after a certain point Ritsu just kind of gives it up. Then they start annoying the shit out of each other. I do think that Ritsu looks up to Tome based on what he knew about her in middle school and how he knows her post-canon. Because she never conformed to people’s expectations in the way that he did, and she is committed to a Fun and Meaningful Existence in similar ways that he wants to be. My ideal dynamic is a Ritsu who gets Weirder and a bit more childish around her, because he deserves it I think. I know I said they wouldn't be close but this is how they can bond more.
I HAVENT EVEN GOTTEN TO THEIR MINECRAFT SERVER YET. Tome and Teru are the powerhouses of the server because they are so cracked at the game. the only difference is Teru takes it so damn seriously and Tome actually likes fucking around. She's putting herobrine portals around and convincing Ritsu he's on the server. Teru is doing it all he's farming he's mining he's building elaborate builds he's setting up economies because probably has the most consistent resource supply. Where's that post where it describes him and Ritsu as "they keep making more elaborate redstone powered industrial farms" I swear I saw something like that. That is them.
I wouldn't say Shou sucks at survival mode but he probably isn't terribly good at it either. He seems like a "load in a flat world and build stupid things and spawn in the max number of mobs allowed in any given range." He's always asking people for stuff because he keeps dying and losing his. Or he gets lost frequently. He's followed by at least 7 tamed wolves at a time and every time he loses one he makes everybody stop whatever they're doing to come to the funeral he puts.
The only thing stopping Ritsu from basically speedrunning the game is the fact that he is scared of the cave noises/the monsters/the nether. Also him and Mob have to share an account so sometimes he'll load in with nothing because Mob got them killed last time he was on. Tome and Teru both suck at bringing beds with them when they go out on in-game days long adventures and everyone else is soo mad at them. Is this too elaborate. I could probably go on I just haven't played minecraft in a while.
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nalyra-dreaming · 2 months ago
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i'm a bit afraid to ask because it's a bit of a dumb question made from things I have read here and there.
I'm a show only but you know someone has translated the great laws and one part is to not make ''african'' vampires and if remember reading correctly somewhere else Marius is really into making vampires from pretty,white, athletic humans?
Do you think the fact that Lestat made 2 black vampires will have an impact on his relationship with Marius ?
What do you think will be Louis and Marius relationship?
Do they even interract together in the books?
(There's no dumb questions 🥰)
So... the only post about the vampiric laws being translated that I know of (!) is this one:
The law you refer to is this one, number 82:
Lamia in alias formas inc..sa europaea mutare poterit sed numquam in …rundom africanum vertere poteris. A vampire in other forms … European … will be able to change but never in … African … will be able to turn.***
Now, I would like to point out, that these laws are show only. The books only ever name the first (big) five.
I think that is important to keep in mind.
Also, the laws of the Children of Darkness are not the ones of Marius or other vampires. The Children of Darkness are a satanic (christian) cult who think they need to serve god as the embodiment of demons. They attack Marius for his more "freer" way of living(!) and kidnap Armand... and break him.
And brainwash him, for centuries.
So. While that statement certainly seems to imply... it actually does not make much sense to me within the grander scheme, because Akasha and Enkil ruled out of Egypt, and the first blood drinkers are very much and firmly rooted in the African continent.
The fact that Marius made Armand also contradicts the (intention of the) rule and his stance on the matter, imho.
Looking at some of the other rules, it becomes clear though that the cult really was into controlling in a very specific manner: Rule 65+ are about all kinds of pleasure being forbidden. Rule 52: A vampire will not know joy.
... yeah. Armand had a really fun time with them until Lestat came along -.-
So. As a reminder, these laws are NOT the ones Marius or even the majority of the covens live by. They are the ones certain covens lived by, and which these covens tried to enforce.
Typical religious cult behavior. -.-
That said, the show adding these rules is no coincidence, of course. And especially that rule no. 82. Though, again, it does not make much sense to me, not even within the universe or show context, because what makes the vampires "white" (book canonically) over the millennia is not their skin color but the mutation of their cells into plastic. But that just as a note.
And, given the coven in Paris contained black and POC vampires...???
Armand at least in the theater times did not believe those laws anymore either.
The show might have added that rule though to show some do.
That will remain to be seen - and it would then be the equivalent of very real mind sets, unfortunately. -.-
But, as said, it doesn't make much sense in the universe, outside their intention to draw certain parallels.
---
So no, given who created these laws and what they do (not) mean for Marius, I do not think Lestat will have any problems having created two black vampires.
They weren't even the only black vampires created after all, nor far from the "first".
As per Louis and Marius... They share rooms sometimes, and both Louis and Marius are present for big events. But they... don't really engage much.
And I don't really expect this to be much different here as well.
Because I think Louis very much (also) blamed Marius for abandoning Armand to the cult ... and what happened then, as a result of it, at least low-key. It is never said, but... there is a certain chain of events, which does have repercussions after all.
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eternally-tired-muffin · 4 months ago
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First off, I absolutely love the Hashira surplus AU. I see lots of somebody lived/everyone survived AUs since I have an Ao3 addiction, but none really go in the direction you’ve chosen. I think the idea of twin pillars is nice to think about, but unless they work best together and are messes without their other half it wouldn’t really make sense to just count them as one if they’re perfectly fine independently. Kind of like how Daki and Gyuutaro work in canon, I suppose. So if Sabito lived, he would undoubtedly become the Water Hashira first and end up leaving Giyuu at Kinoe despite him eventually catching up in strength and qualifications. Same with Shinobu, if Kanae survived then she wouldn’t have room to become a Hashira with the 9 max rule. All in all, I really like what you’ve done with it and how you’ve built off canon. I don’t have any direct questions, but definitely wouldn’t mind to read about anything you haven’t got a chance to share or small details you havent been able to fit anywhere! Have a good day/night and sorry for rambling lol-
AHHHHH THIS IS THE SWEETEST THING OMG T^T
I'm glad that you think this take on everyone lives makes sense! I tried to change 1 thing at the start and have the ripple effect come across naturally.
In terms of things to share, thank you so much for asking! This au is my baby so I'm thrilled to yap haha. I have a lot of projects I'm passionate about, so the actual drawings will come out very slowly, though I will answer asks and plot questions as they come. I'm currently working on the comic where Kanae meets Nezuko, so have a sneaky WIP page :P
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The recent arc has also got me thinking about how the infinity castle arc changes.
MANGA SPOILERS FROM HERE!
I've decided to commit to saving everyone, as the core principle of this au, so the upper moon fights are going to go down differently. At the moment, I haven't fully decided, but my initial idea is this:
Instead of Giyuu, Sabito joins Tanjiro in fighting UM3. In canon, Giyuu acts as a parallel to Rengoku, with themes about weakness/strength and duty (who 'should' live). In this AU, Giyuu doesn't have the same survivor's guilt, and Rengoku doesn't die. As a result, it isn't thematically important for Giyuu to go up against Akaza. However, Sabito was present in the mugen train arc, and he narrowly survived the encounter. I think it makes sense for him to go up against Akaza with Tanjiro (who was stuck as a witness last time) and get to see how they've both grown - Tanjiro getting stronger and Sabito getting smarter. Maybe he learns Giyuu's defensive form?
Since Giyuu is free, I think he'd join in the UM1 fight. Having a defensive fighter could influence the battle. I have to be honest, I haven't reread this arc in a minute (so it is fresh when I watch the movie) so I can't quite remember how the fight goes down, but I think Giyuu would be there from the start. They just manage to keep themselves together as more allies join and overwhelm UM1.
I haven't used Rengoku here - I haven't decided his status after the mugen train arc. He lives, but I don't know if he is fit for battle. He may join Uzui and his father in protecting Nezuko. Perhaps he rallies the kakushi and the medical team with his large presence and still well above average physical abilities.
UM2 is a bit more complicated. Shinobu's drive for revenge is a key part of her character, but in this AU, Kanae survives. This is another thing not set in stone and may change. At the moment, I think in this AU, Douma has a habit of eating his victims alive. He taunted Kanae, managing to bite off her ear, so while Kanae manages to survive, she is truly affected by this fight. Shinobu despises him like in canon. In terms of the UM2 infinity castle fight, I'm not sure how to administer Shinobu's poison. It could be that Douma eats an arm or leg, but Kanae arrives in time to help. I'm also currently thinking that Aoi* might join Kanao.
*I haven't committed to her role yet (in addition to knowing basic medicine). She could be a poisons using demon slayer (like Shinobu) or someone who blended the role of demon slayer and kakushi - this is worth its own post though.
All of the speculation around the inifnity castle is just a draft, though! I would absolutely love to hear any suggestions/ ideas, so please feel free to reply/ reblog/ send an ask :D
AU masterpost
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yuesya · 10 months ago
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I see you've taken after the Nasuverse quite well, making so many alternate versions of your main heroine :)
This latest one actually reminds me a bit of Zero from Drakengard 3. Both of them have similar backstories, being sold into slavery and suffering a cruel betrayal at the end of it. Both have a devil may care attitude towards murder and do it on a whim or as a reflexive response. Both also share similar appearances with their stark white hair and skin.
Moreover, since Shiki probably wasn't raised as a proper young lady like her canon counterpart and being more open about her visceral desires she'd likely have a more crass vocabulary. Once agian, quite similarly to her Drakengard counterpart.
Although I am a bit befuddled about Jujutsu society's response to Shiki since it seems kind of... muted. Yes, Shiki is a special grade curse user who definitely killed her fair share of sorcerers to earn that title. However, I don't think the sorcerers would let her go around committing whatever atrocities she wanted without offering some resistance, they certainly didn't with Geto.
On that topic, Geto and Satoru would also definitely take an interest in her for a variety of reasons. Geto would likely be thrilled to have another special grade helping achieve his genocidal ambitions, especially one as murderous as Shiki. Whereas Gojo would've likely encountered her one way or another since he is already on the look out for a homicidal special grade curse user.
Although given what little we know from the AU so far it's likely Shiki would reject them both. Shiki would probably want nothing to do with Geto's dream since she'd see no difference between sorcerers and "monkeys." She would also be uninterested in making the world a better place.
As for Satoru she would probably mix with him as well as oil does with water, meaning not at all given their tense interactions in a different AU. This would likely culminate in a battle between the two leading to the infamous [REDACTED] incident, which leads to both of them developing a mutual understanding to stay out of each other's way.
There are so many AUs haha. It feels like a new one crops up whenever I turn around...
Interesting parallels to Zero! And fitting, in some ways. Araya doesn't strike me as someone who would take an active parental role for Shiki; he'd probably decide to observe her 'natural behaviors' instead. Remember how in zenith of stars Shiki experiences some struggles with her desire to 'be good' versus her instinct to kill? How she initially tried to claw out her own eyes because she recognized that humans aren't supposed to visualize death?
In this 'verse, Shiki has no such restraints tempering her. She was never taught the difference between 'right' and 'wrong.' There's only Araya, who watches her silently no matter what she does.
I haven't sorted out timeline details, but Shiki would escape from Araya sometime while Geto is at large, which means that most of the jujutsu headquarters' attention is focused on Geto as the major threat. Shiki gets mistaken for one of Geto's compatriots multiple times. Geto attempts to recruit her and fails, but he doesn't particularly mind. Shiki has killed many non-sorcerers according to her whims, after all. He probably tries to direct her towards non-sorcerers as best as he can from the sidelines.
Shiki comes into prominence after Geto's death, and that's when people start realizing that this girl is a lot more dangerous than she seems at first glance. There are multiple sorcerers sent after her -all are killed. They need to cut their losses, and their last resort is Gojo Satoru-
But what if Gojo tries to recruit her to his side? The girl is like a wild beast that can't be controlled; worse than Tsukumo ever was. What kind of damage would she cause? What if Gojo succeeded in taming her? Which probably then leads into the attempt to bribe Shiki out of Japan with one of Sukuna's fingers.
I haven't made up my mind on how the meeting between Shiki and Satoru would go, but lots of collateral damage sounds like it would be on the right track haha.
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coraniaid · 6 months ago
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Top five btvs headcannons?
Hmm. Lots of options to choose from, but let's go with:
Of all the deaths we see on the show that the characters are weirdly blase about and never talk about again (which is most of them) the one I feel should matter most is Kendra's. The writers very obviously don't care about Kendra at all (in a way that makes me pretty angry if I think about it for long) but, at the same, the only way I can reconcile my idea of Who Buffy Is As A Person with the events of the post-Becoming seasons is to try to persuade myself that Buffy is thinking about Kendra a lot of the time, and that this meaningfully affects her relationship with Faith in Season 3 (and, for that matter, with Dawn in Season 5 and the Potentials in Season 7 too). Because, yes, Faith represents a lot of Buffy's own supressed thoughts and desires, and yes, there are lots of parallels in Season 3 between Faith and Angel. But the very fact Faith exists as a Slayer at all should be enough to remind Buffy of the Slayer who was called after her and died before her. How could that not bleed into her relationship with Faith as a person? How can Buffy not look at Faith and be constantly thinking of the Slayer she failed to save? (According to the show's writers, the answer is: very, very easily.[1])
Sort of a meta-headcanon (a headcanon schema?), but: as far as possible, I like to believe that the Buffy characters who are meant to be friends might actually talk to each other sometimes. And when we don't see various personal conflicts get resolved on screen, yet everything seems back to normal later (especially between seasons), I tend to assume they just talked things through a bit off-camera. Probably Buffy and Xander had a conversation after Dead Man's Party which involved him offering a grovelling apology, which is why they're still on speaking terms later that season. Probably Joyce and Buffy actually talked a bit about her being the Slayer before Faith, Hope & Trick, so that Joyce's claim to have "tried to march in the Slayer Pride Parade isn't as absurd as it seems to be on the face of it". Probably Giles and Buffy talked about the Cruciamentum a bit after Helpless, which is why she's forgiven him by the time the next episode starts and she never brings his role up in it again. In particular, this is why I kind of hate the reveal in Season 7's Selfless that Xander never admitted to his Lie in Becoming, and that Buffy just spent the last five years thinking Willow decided to try to cast the spell to restore Angel's soul again without asking Buffy's permission or giving her any warning she was about to try it beyond "kick his ass".
There really isn't any evidence for it in canon and I suspect it's ultimately purely the invention of one of the early 2000s Fuffy writers, but I really like the popular fanfiction conceit that there is some sort of mystical connection between Slayers which (in a way that varies a little depending on the writer) gives them some additional awareness of the other Slayer's presence or emotional state. Not just because I'm enough of a sap to think that that's kind of romantic (although I am and I do), but because it's a nice way to explain away some slightly contrived bits of plotting in the show (all three Slayers have a way of finding each other very quickly when the plot requires it). In the same spirit, though with perhaps a little more evidence in canon, I like the idea that Buffy and Faith's shared dreams don't just happen when we see them, but have basically been going on ever since Faith arrived in Sunnydale (or at least since Faith's coma). Also, relatedly, I still like this headcanon I posted last month.
Sort of an anti-headcanon in some ways, but I refuse to accept that Buffy's memory of trying to tell her parents about vampires back in LA -- and being briefly institutionalized as a result -- (which was revealed/retconned in Season 6's Normal Again) is real. I think that (whatever the show claims) it had to have been a false memory implanted by the same demon that was giving her visions of still being there. Say what you like about whether or not the Joyce we see on the show was a good parent, but this is just blatant character assassination of the worst sort. It completely changes how we have to see Buffy's relationship with her mother and makes several scenes and outright plot points absurd (even if Joyce is the sort of monster who could forget about having her doctor locked up, even after learning that actually Buffy was always telling the truth, why would a Buffy who had been through that still keep a diary in the house she shares with her mother where she talked about the supernatural or prominently put up crucifixes in her house or make jokes about 'saving the world from vampires' when her mother asked her what she was thinking? why would she care about her mother's opinion of her at all? why would she wait until Season 2 to run away from home, and why would she ever come back?). Taken seriously, this just totally undermines a major part of Buffy's character and one of the most important relationships in her life. And for what? A stupid "maybe this is all a dream?" ending to the episode that means nothing and never goes anywhere. No, fuck that. Didn't happen and I simply refuse to believe it did. (I also strongly dislike the idea that it's a false memory caused by Dawn's presence; Dawn doesn't deserve to be blamed for that and her existence isn't meant to have had that big of an impact on the world.)
[1] Actually if I'm being totally honest I suspect that if you polled most of the show's writers with this question the answer you'd get back would be "who's Kendra?"
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50calmadeuce · 7 months ago
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Ch. 22: Back Home
Warning: Mention of miscarriage. Some chapters have sex.
Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction using characters from the Top Gun: Maverick world, trademarked by Paramount Pictures Corporation. I do not claim ownership of the characters and the world that I am borrowing.
The story and situation I am creating are a work of my imagination and I do not ascribe them to official story canon. This work is for entertainment only and is not a part of the storyline.
I am not profiting financially from the creation and publication of this story, but I do hope it gives you happy thoughts.
These stories are my own, so please do not take them and use them for yourself without my permission. If you see them somewhere else, please let me know. :)
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A couple of weeks after your journey from San Diego, you found yourself engrossed in work late one evening in your office. The sound of a knock at the door interrupted your focus. Lifting your eyes, you saw Chuck standing there, holding a small tray filled with snacks.
"Come in," you invited, taking a moment to organize the papers strewn across your desk.
Chuck entered, placing the tray on your desk. "Figured you might need a little something to munch on," he offered, a considerate gesture that brought a moment of warmth to the late hours.
You couldn't help but smile at the thoughtfulness. "Thanks, Chuck. That's really kind of you," you expressed, genuinely touched by the gesture. The sight of the snacks—a mix of fruit, nuts, and some chocolate—was a welcome sight, considering you hadn't realized how much time had passed or how hungry you actually were until now.
Chuck observed the situation, remarking on your evident busyness. "It looks like this new grant project is keeping you quite occupied," he noted, acknowledging the lengthy days you've been putting in.
You responded with a confirming sound, the weight of the work ahead clear in your tone. "This is just the start. I've been going through resumes to find some assistance for the upcoming winter and summer," you explained, signaling the expansive scope of your project and the need for additional hands to manage the workload.
As a yawn escaped you, you promptly covered your mouth with your hand.
Chuck issued a gentle warning, "Well, don't push yourself too hard. I understand with the Lieutenant away, you might dive into work to keep him off your mind, but it's not the best for your health," he pointed out, concern evident in his voice. "And you've seemed pretty worn out lately."
You dismissed the concern with a nonchalant shrug. "Nah, I'm fine. Just still getting my bearings after all those time zone changes a few weeks back," you claimed, attributing your fatigue to the adjustment period rather than the workload or emotional stress.
"Have you heard from the Lieutenant?" he inquired, observing as you picked up a grape from the plate and popped it into your mouth.
After a moment spent chewing and then swallowing, you answered, "No," your tone casual yet hinting at a deeper resignation. "But that's nothing new." You continued eating off of the plate.
Chuck's observation came unexpectedly, drawing a parallel from his experiences, albeit in a different context. "Doc, I'm no rocket scientist, but I've been around horses enough to see when something's up. Are you sure you're not pregnant?" he asked, noting your sudden appetite as you continued to eat grapes.
You stopped mid-motion, a grape poised between your fingers, as his words prompted a rush of thoughts. The realization dawned on you; you and Jake had been cautious only that one time.
The room suddenly felt too small, your mind racing as you tried to piece together the timeline, the possibility that Chuck's offhand comment might hold more truth than jest.
Chuck, realizing the gravity of what he'd suggested, immediately softened his approach. "Hey, I didn't mean to jump to conclusions or anything. It's just, you've been looking a bit off color lately, and now the sudden hunger," he explained, his voice tinged with concern rather than suspicion.
You set the grape back down, suddenly not so hungry. "I... hadn't really considered it," you admitted, the possibility now taking root in your mind. "But now that you mention it, there have been a few signs that I just attributed to stress and being busy." As you glanced down at the grape held delicately between your fingers, a stark realization hit you. You despised grapes. The fact that you were not just tolerating but seemingly enjoying them now added an unexpected layer of complexity to Chuck's question. This sudden shift in your dietary preferences, coupled with the recent context you were forced to consider, made the scenario all the more perplexing and worthy of deep thought. "I'll make a doctor's appointment tomorrow." You looked at Chuck and nodded. "Good night."
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A few days after your conversation with Chuck, you found yourself in a different kind of waiting—sitting in a doctor's office, draped in a gown that felt less like clothing and more like a symbol of vulnerability. The anticipation was palpable, the room filled with a silence that seemed to echo your racing thoughts.
The door finally opened, breaking the cycle of your anxious musings. A middle-aged woman stepped in, her curly dark hair framing her face and glasses perched on her nose, exuding an air of professional calmness. "Dr. Seresin, how are you today?" she greeted, her voice carrying a blend of warmth and formality, the sort that healthcare professionals master over years of practice. Her presence, while reassuring, also marked the moment of truth you had been both dreading and anticipating.
"Dr. Katz," you acknowledged her, trying to muster a semblance of calm. "I guess I'm doing okay."
Dr. Katz took a seat, her gaze meeting yours squarely, a gesture that seemed to brace both of you for the forthcoming revelation. "Well, we might as well just get right to it. You're pregnant."
The moment the words left her lips, it felt as though the room's atmosphere shifted dramatically. It was as if all the air had been vacuumed out, leaving behind a charged silence that enveloped you. The reality of her statement hung heavy, a profound turning point that was both intimidating and real.
Dr. Katz, observant and empathetic, noticed the change in your demeanor. Her voice softened as she addressed the situation, "I take it this wasn't planned?"
Releasing a deep breath you hadn't realized you'd been holding, you managed to find your voice. "Not really, but..." Your words trailed off, a mix of emotions swirling within you—surprise, apprehension, perhaps a hint of something else. In that moment, with the reality of your situation settling in, you stood at the threshold of an unexpected journey, pondering the myriad ways it could unfold.
Dr. Katz's gaze briefly settled on the wedding ring adorning your finger, a symbol of commitment that prompted her next question. "I didn't know you were married? Does your husband not know yet?"
Meeting her gaze, you clarified, "I've been married for four years. My husband is currently deployed. Due to a past circumstance, we recently rekindled our relationship."
Dr. Katz turned her attention back to the computer, typing away for a moment before stopping, a note of concern in her expression as she addressed a sensitive topic. "Ah. Being kicked in the stomach and losing the baby." Her gaze shifted back to you, searching, as she asked, "How do you feel about this?"
There was a brief pause as you collected your thoughts, the weight of the question pressing down. "Honestly, nervous," you admitted, your voice carrying the mixed emotions of fear, uncertainty, and perhaps a glimmer of hope or resilience. It was a moment of vulnerability, acknowledging the complexity of your feelings in the face of such unexpected and challenging news. he room seemed to hold its breath as you shared a piece of your past, a shadow that lingered over your present. "After it happened, my husband didn't really talk to me for four years," you revealed, the pain and isolation of that time evident in your voice. Meeting Dr. Katz's eyes, you expressed a fear deeply rooted in your experience. "I don't want that again."
Dr. Katz, sensing the depth of your concerns and the weight of your past experiences, offered a supportive suggestion. "There's a psychologist I can connect you with..."
But you quickly dismissed the idea, a reflexive wave of your hand punctuating your decision. "No. No psychologist. I can deal with this." Your voice carried a mixture of determination and perhaps a hint of apprehension.
Dr. Katz exhaled deeply. "Alright, I'll provide you with that information, just in case you have a change of heart. But do start taking a quality prenatal vitamin. I'll see you in a month's time, purely as a precaution because of the last time. It's not that I'm expecting complications, but I'd rather be safe and ensure everything is on track."
"Okay," you nodded in agreement.
"You're going to be just fine, Y/N," reassured the doctor before exiting the room.
You released a breath you hadn't noticed you'd been holding in.
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Entering the kitchen late, you carried a small bag, its contents consisting of prenatal vitamins.
Chuck glanced up. "Everything alright, Doc?"
Setting the bag on the counter, you extracted the vitamins. "You were correct. I'm pregnant."
A smile brightened Chuck's face. "Doc, that's wonderful news! But, why do I sense you're not thrilled?"
"I am happy," you admitted. "It's just the thought of Jake's reaction that's weighing on me."
Chuck nodded, understanding the complexity of the situation. "I think the Lieutenant will be thrilled about it."
"I hope so, but it's my line of work that makes him anxious. Particularly after the last incident." Drawing in a deep breath, you contemplated your next steps. "I need to see about getting an assistant or an intern. It's time to have a discussion with work."
As if on cue, your phone began to ring, and Jake's name flashed on the screen. "Speaking of Jake," you remarked, pressing the answer button for a face call. "Hey babe!"
Chuck discreetly exited the kitchen, giving you space to talk to Jake.
Jake's voice came through, vibrant and warm. "Hey, darlin'!"
God, how you missed the sound of his voice. Heck, you missed everything about him.
He noticed your weariness. "You okay?"
"I'm fine. It's just been a long day. I literally just got home."
"Well, then I called at the right time. How are things?"
"Things are going well. I've been swamped, between the job and managing the grant, it's been non-stop."
"Darlin', make sure you're not overdoing it," he cautioned gently.
A smile found its way to your lips. "I won't, Jake. Don't worry about me."
His gaze carried a tinge of concern. "You sure you're alright?"
With a reassuring smile, you responded, "I'm fine, Jake, really. Like I mentioned, today was just one of those long days."
Seeing his expression ease brought you a bit of relief. "You'd tell me if something was up, wouldn't you?"
"Without a doubt." You took a brief pause before shifting the focus. "How about you? How have you been?"
"Doing well. There's been a lot of training going on."
"That sounds positive, doesn't it?"
His smile returned, warmer this time. "Always is." His gaze met yours, carrying a mix of longing and affection. "I miss you, Y/N."
The feeling resonated deeply within you. "I miss you too, Jake. Any idea when you'll be back?"
He hesitated, the uncertainty evident. "Not at this time."
You nodded. "Is there anything you need? I took care of your apartment, so you're good on that."
His voice carried a hint of regret. "Nah, I'm alright, but I really need to catch some sleep. Sorry for not calling sooner. This was the first chance I got."
Your words were soft but firm, "Jake, it's part of the job. I get it. Go catch some sleep. I'm heading to bed soon myself."
"That sounds like a plan. I love you, Y/N."
"I love you too, Jake."
After ending the call, Chuck re-entered the room.
"You didn't tell him, did you?"
Shaking your head, you responded, "No. He's got enough on his plate without adding to his worries. He needs to stay focused on his work." You met Chuck's gaze with determination. "And there's no arguing with that."
Chuck gave a nonchalant shrug, conceding to your point. "Whatever you say, Doc. You call the shots." Moving towards the stove, he changed the subject. "Got an appetite?"
"Starving!" you exclaimed, grateful for the distraction.
Chuck then busied himself with preparing a plate for you, signaling the end of the conversation and a shift to more comforting, domestic matters.
Tags: @buckysteveloki-me @bellyliveslife @tgmreader @callsign-barbell @86laura11 @dizzybee03 @kmc1989 @guacam011y @nerdgirljen @hookslove1592 @dempy @djs8891
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princess-of-the-corner · 3 months ago
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Tried to think of some Miraculous Gaang names! You may want to Google a few of these, fair warning.
Ladybug!Sokka - Captain Harmonia/Harlequin/Beetle
Black Cat!Katara - Painted Jaguar
Turtle!Aang - Lion Turtle, Tortiseshell
Snake!Suki - Pythonic, Tealtime, Naga, Aspen, Tock Viper, Medusa/Stheno/Euryale, Teal Gorgan
Tiger!Toph - The Blind Tiger
Dragon!Zuko - Seiryu 
Fox!Azula - Inari, Kistune, Silver Reynard, Kuma Lisa, Blue Ren (“the tale of Miss Ren”)
Pig!Jin - Babirusa
Bee!Ty Lee - Bumblebee (there is literally a “Dance of the Bumblebee” music score), Honeycomb
Mouse!Mai - Rat Queen (based on the “Rat King” from the Nutcracker Ballet. Kind of as a slide parallel to her canon thing, here, Mai’s parents signed her up for ballet, where she met Ty Lee and Azula.)
Ox!Haru - Oxenfree (all I got right now)
Horse!Teo - got nothing but “Pegasus” which is taken
Rabbit!Yué - Luna Lapine, Luna Angora, Satin Moon, Velvet Moon
Monkey!Kuzon - a bit more explanation here. Mostly, I was trying to fill out the miraculous roster, cause AtLa only has a few “main” characters, I was trying to find some named characters the Gaang is shown being friends with who are roughly their age. I didn’t list Jet or his friends, cause, honestly, what exactly would their story be?? How do they integrate? Like, I’m sure you could do something, I just couldn’t really think of anything at the time. But also, I realized all the friends of the Gaang belong to Katara, Sokka, or Suki, later Zuko - Aang and Toph don’t really have any that are unconnected from them. In Toph’s case, she was raised super sheltered, and never got a chance to meet anyone, while Aang HAD friends, but they’re all mostly dead, except Bumi, because of the 100 years in ice thing. And we already have Bumi here being an old man. The only other friend Aang really mentions is Kuzon, the Fire Nation kid who … I think there’s a short story about the pair of them fighting off poachers? Anyway, I was basically imagining Kuzon as “Le Chien Kim, but Animal Lover and Environmentalist Advocate”. He would have grown up next door to Aang and Gyatso, and that’s how the pair are friends. As for names … I want to say Tarzan or Mowgli, but I feel like, even in universe, those would get him visits from lawyers.
Now, briefly into ships - this is just me spitballing my random headcanons, PLEASE TO ALL READING THIS, WE ARE HAVING FUN, LET’S NOT BRING THE ATLA SHIPWARS HERE! THIS IS JUST ME SPITBALLING! THEY CAN ALL BE CHANGED!
so, Katara/Aang. Aang I see as non-binary - they don’t mind which pronouns you use, but mostly uses he/they when referring to himself. Katara believes she is straight, but is actually bi with a bigger attraction to males.
Sokka is poly-pansexual. His relationships start with Sokka/Yue, until Yué realizes she’s actually AroAce, and they break up. Then later Sokka/Suki, which morphs into Zuko/Sokka & Sokka/Suki, which changes to Zuko/Sokka/Suki. Suki’s bi, while Zuko is … Zuko (demi-pan, but never has the words for it till WAY later).
Toph is Aro, or at least grayromantic, as is Teo. Teo I also see as trans, but that might just be me.
Mai/Ty Lee eventually becomes Mai/Ty Lee/Azula. (Sexuality uncertain, but my cousin does call them the “Deadly Lesbians”.) There’s a brief Mai/Zuko, but only to get Mai’s parents to back off and leave her alone.
Haru is our only totally straight guy, congrats man, you are our cishet+!
Thoughts, Feelings, Opinions, New/Different Ideas?
(Also, side note. We still have Cabbage man, right?)
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OH SO
Loving the names! I think I’m gonna make a masterpost of the names here once I finalize them.
Totally get the thing on Kuzon. Like yeah I’m trying to think of other characters to fill out the Hero team and other than Jet’s group there aren’t a lot. There’s a reason I dragged Jin into this(other than the fact that I love her)
And yeah I’ve been turning Jet and co over in my head trying to think of what they’d be and I can’t think of anything for them because there’s so many changes to the base setup.
AS FOR SHIPS
I have my ships I like and while I do take suggestions it’s my au and I get the nonsense!
Obvs the Aang/Katara stays.
I see the Zuko/Sokka/Suki and raise you adding Jin in there.
Swinging to Yue: I always have mixed feelings in some AUs because I love her and Sokka in Canon but most AUs they never really work out. And in this one idk why they wouldn’t exactly? Like nothing gets in the way. Maybe if I write Sokka starting the Suki relationship first and then while they’re poly they’re not at a ‘hey how do you think about another person?’ discussion stage when they meet Yue? And then by the time they are at that stage either they’ve moved on or Yue has her own partner?
That said. Yue/Azula. Any time I have the chance for them I take it. Like the equal opposite you see my vision.
I also have this weird soft spot for Toph/Ty Lee. Probably has something to do with that post of ‘Ty Lee teaches Toph to walk on her hands’ thing because as funny as that post is these two are menaces it’s great, the amount of trust involved in it!
Haru is def our token straight though.
My one original thought:
So like. The Gaang has a range of ages. And in atla that’s fine due to the circumstances. But here it’s kind of a question of ‘how do they all meet/become friends/etc if they never really meet’? so I’m gonna make shit up to squish them into the same grade in school. 
Aang and Toph skipped a grade. Homeschooling put them a bit ahead of their peers in public school so they just got placed ahead.
On the flipside, Zuko got held back a grade due to the whole ‘being kicked out and horrifically scarred’ thing. Like between the mental and physical care he’d need he missed a lot of class that year so just. Repeat the year.
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sailorspica · 10 months ago
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hitch is jean in a different font
i might have a new WIP or two cooking, and one of them has me vibrating and combing over canon to make this argument: hitch as jean's shadow, their parallel journeys, her growth only a few months behind his. marlowe as a kind of marco, stohess as her trost.
for me it's all toward a reijean / hitchannie agenda but pray any hitch and jean stans appreciate:
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we meet hitch as an almost-jean: well-aware of what the military police actually is. pragmatic. in the anime's expansion of stohess, jean looks at the MPs scrambling and thinks, "i could've actually been one of them too, huh? just how did i end up here instead?"
the scene of marlowe and hitch cleaning up stohess is another anime addition, in the s2 premiere. marlowe is bewildered that titans were in sina to begin with, but hitch's focus is more mundane: "the worst thing about it all is that so many people died for no good reason." the hulu subtitles are more like "there's no official reason all these people died." levi echoes the sentiment in 59 when he bluntly tells them annie was the female titan: "no one knows a damn thing."
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levi trusts jean to feel them out for a reason, and i think hitch impressed him way more than marlowe. he respects her disgust for loss of life, and her balls to blame the survey corps for it. she's actually a mini nile dawk there, to me, when nile realizes what erwin is up to in stohess, and it makes me think that jean's pragmatism is a necessary injection of the MPs' better traits into the suicidal SC. that it's in the same chapter as jean and armin recovering from their run-in with the interior squad is telling.
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in the 125 hitch/annie date, annie is looking up at the colossals, and hitch literally grounds her. annie is struck by their height, maybe she thinks of bertolt, maybe she's thinking of her mission to prevent this from happening, but hitch doesn't give a shit about the titans themselves, only what they leave in their wake. it feels similar to jean telling eren about marco's death in 22. marco instilled in jean that a leader is honest about what they ask people to die for; hitch is disgusted by the senselessness of the death her whole career has been about cleaning up.
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i think it's easy to look at hitch yawning among the jaegerists in 139 as a bit of her cockroach quality—keeping her head down and saluting along for her survival among fascists, like shadis advises the recruits who beat him (also in 125). but we have seen her demonstrate such kindness, and mourn. practically, she must be pissed that the junta she and marlowe risked themselves to install has been totally upended; she stands by her actions in the uprising arc, look at how she and armin witness zackly's assassination. but beyond that, she hates death more than anything. she could reason that marlowe's death was toward something tangible, the truth of their world, but that it snowballed into the death of most of the world? the rumbling is probably a national holiday to those freaks. it's ghoulish to her.
for my ship agenda (even if you're into these relationships only platonically):
hitch talking to annie's crystal feels like jean saving reiner in shiganshina. everyone else was ready to discard or forget about these traitors, but hitch, jean, and armin all cling to the softness they couldn't reconcile with annie and reiner's titan forms. with what he thought were his dying breaths, reiner delivered ymir's letter. on her day off, in Wall Sina, Goodbye, annie kept her word, and tried to reunite a father and daughter. hitch might have negged her for it, seen it as busy work, but it's the same kindness she bullied marlowe for, if carefully buried under annie's insistence that it was just the quid pro quo between them.
idc that armin talked to her, too, or he knew her longer. hitch fuckin mourned her!! and i think being angry with annie, questioning her for four years, is way, way more humanizing than armin basically monologuing at her while feeling sorry for himself and bertolt and titan shifters generally. (this sounds like i hate armin but swear i love him; i just think aruani is most interesting when bertolt is involved.)
hitch accurately clocks that annie seemed afraid of getting close to people. her own fellow cadets just thought of her as distant, bored; when hange asks the scouts in the 104th about RBA's interactions as cadets, they're at a loss, even armin. even her fellow warriors didn't really see her. annie's distance was a kindness, and her own armor. she sees reibert's deep cover as a waste of time, but i think she also sees they're bound to hurt themselves and their mission in the long run. even though everyone felt betrayed after stohess, reiner was a greater shock, a deeper wound. i think annie wanted to minimize hurt on all fronts. (look how she dips out of the alliance, it's because she's tired, and doesn't want to kill eren, or anyone.)
jean comes to understand reiner only after he and connie and armin have to kill their 104th classmates at the pier. hitch can't fully fathom annie's circumstances or pain, especially not annie saying she'd do it all again, but hitch listens to it all and thanks her for the vulnerability, for softening, which is more compassion than most of the paradis side of the alliance has managed so far. she has a head start on the emotional strides jean makes in between 127 and 133, maybe because she got a bit of catharsis beating her fists against annie's crystal for four years.
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they're both sick of their shit
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dotthings · 3 months ago
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All right, here's the spn 5.18 rewatch Dean and Cas brainrot.
And this was only near the beginning of where that story's going to go!!
As Dean breaks, so shall Cas break. They're so entangled here and it's heartwrenching. Both of them have been moving towards despair most of S5, mirroring each other, both of them losing faith. Dean's losing faith in his brother, Cas losing faith in his father, Cas finds a liquor store and he drinks it, Cas losing faith in Dean is what makes Cas finally snap and temporarily go out of his mind.
The beatdown in the alley is exactly the wrong way for Cas to go about things, and that was the point. I can't cheer Cas on, and Dean didn't deserve that. It wasn't the way to reach Dean.
But I can feel how tragic this is. Seeing Cas spin out and break, and he has no precedent on how to handle the emotions coursing through him, he's still a semi-feral cosmic being, full of hurt and disappointment and anger. Cas's feelings are valid...but that doesn't mean every demonstration of anger is the right thing. While Dean is sinking into despair and we know he's feeling that he's disappointed Cas.
There's a bit of a Bobby parallel too--not that Bobby goes to the extremes Cas goes to. But Bobby's words as he snaps at Dean and tries to guilt him about giving up, is also a wrong approach with Dean. It's Bobby leaning on Dean so hard to be the repository of his hope, the keeper of his faith, and it's what Cas does too, and both lash out at Dean in different ways. So we can talk about Cas has a lot to learn and a lot more to go, and he does, I'm not saying Bobby is like Cas, but pointing out that even a middle-aged compassionate human with lots of experience with feelings like Bobby is imperfect. As is Dean. And Sam. And that's one of the show's long running themes.
I will point out Cas is holding back. Given his power levels what he does in that alley is incredibly dangerous, but the fact that he's snapping and yet will not actually do grievous lasting hurt to Dean. He never forgets who Dean is, he's dealing with all these feelings, hurt and disappointment, but not so far gone he forgets. And then he uncurls his fist.
Cas never does anything like that again, except when he is literally being mind-controlled, by a magic spell or angel brainwashing. S5 is the one and only time Cas lands a fist on Dean of his own volition. And let's not forget how Sam and Dean strike each other, of their own volition.
The Dean and Cas dynamics in this ep are also so utterly unhinged, from both sides.
"I gave everything for you and this is what you give me" actual canonical dialogue!!!
And Dean, who is lashing out at everyone he's close to in this episode, in different ways, with Cas he chooses a sexual taunt, he chooses to mock Cas flirtatiously.
"Well Cas, not for nothing, but the last person who looked at me like that, I got laid" and then he winks. And it's not a reassuring wink, or a brotherly wink, it's a full on saucy come-on kind of wink. And the way Cas glowers at him and shuts the panic room door!!!!
Also when Dean kills Zach, he does it with an angel blade, which he would have gotten from Cas. And that after the alleyway, Cas tells Dean in calm words, that his faith in Dean has faltered, instead of doing it with violence. It stings, but it's progress, and he is there, standing with Dean, despite Cas's claims of losing faith, and risks himself to disperse the angels so Sam and Dean can rescue Adam.
This ep is some raw, emotional Dean and Cas and it's one of the Kripke era eps that rewired my brain on that relationship, like The End.
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florsial · 4 months ago
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any thoughts on walburga? 🤗
Ask was so exciting I had to properly get ready for the day just so I could answer while eating breakfast. Thank you <3
Anyways! I'm sorry but so much of her thoughts just stem from her relationship to Sirius and Regulus. IM SO SORRYYYY
I feel like I should clarify. I'm not, in anyway universe, going to defend her.
The most important thing to me is that I believe the entire Black family did love each other, but they were all fucked over as kids so it never translated properly to the next generation. I definitely think a major cause of Walburga and her relationship with her children stems from postpartum depression that just never got talked about within the family. And I don't think she ever felt forced into her marriage, I think out of everyone in the family, she and Orion got along best (best: they weren't actively trying to do damage to each other). There was kind of an understanding between them that leads to them ignoring each other more so than yk screaming and hurting each other. I do believe it was because they were the closest related ones that were married.
I think with Sirius, it was a feeling of, "Well this doesn't feel as nice as I thought" and she just wasn't given a chance to properly bond before he was sent to China to live with Orion's parents. I do believe she tried, but by the time he was heading into Hogwarts, she just couldn't be around him without being frustrated at everything he was doing, his voice was annoying, and every time he did something there was always the thought of "The audacity of him" and all those feelings leaked into her lessons she would have to teach him which lead to there being more pressure placed in Sirius. But he's her son so she's always going to have this: "I love you, but I don't like you" mindset with him. Walburga would die for Sirius if she could, but she would never talk to Sirius without berating him and harming him in some way. Even in canon, she was pretty sad about him leaving so there was some love between them, it just got fucked over.
Unlike with Sirius, she had Regulus for a little longer before he was taken to China, so there was a bit of a relationship that was formed. Regulus is her golden child. I think in a trans-Regulus situation, there is a sense of "Someone just like me" from Walburga and she loves him for it. But in a cis Regulus situation, I definitely think it would be like a "mama's boy" type of thing where she kinda projects her "ideal husband" onto him (aka emotional incest) (it's disgusting but I can't unsee it honestly). Either way, Walburga would be so much more open to Regulus and there would definitely be an emotional parentification situation which plays into why Regulus wouldn't want to leave the family for the longest time. She was always so much sweeter to Regulus because he listened to her and he made the effort to not fight back against anything because, to Regulus, Walburga was suffering from loneliness, she was lonely and miserable, and her childhood was a mess on it own (once again generational trauma). She makes it clear that she does love both Sirius and Regulus, but only Regulus would've ever hear it. And from Regulus' neglected mind, love would be a good excuse for everything and anything.
She and Orion were never physically abusive. Just neglectful and scary when angry (but her actions are balanced out in Regulus' head). She had a hard time expressing herself, which was why it's so important to Regulus when she does talk. She's lonely. She's a horrible mother but loves her children. She misses her brothers but hates how Cygnus has turned into their father and how Alphard didn't give two shits about their family (not true, he just knew when something was a lost cause) (I like to think Walburga and Alphard parallel Sirius and Regulus a lot). She had a chance to break the cycle but didn't and it'll haunt her for the rest of her days. She'll spend the rest of her life in Grimmauld wondering what went wrong while ignoring the clear answer. She'll take her last breath and feel robbed of her happy ending and the fruits of her suffering. Also, I do want to add: that she's fully aware she's a terrible mother. It's a highlight of what makes her a terrible person, she's fully aware and doesn't change!
Also, she's definitely the type of mother to brush her kid's hair so far back, slick with no gel type of thing with those painful ass hair ties that have charms on the ends that you would wrap around the ponytail and smack your nails so HARD ITS FUCKING HURTS OMG. I just know when she was doing Regulus and Sirius' hair they were crying out on the inside.
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42-42-564 · 2 months ago
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soul maka crona interactions i am always thinking abt.
soul does not know how to make crona feel comfortable around him except for just explaining stuff about his interests to them. takes the focus off of Lets Us Two Look And Talk At Each Other but is still more direct than, like, just parallel play lol. WAIT i have a drawing for that
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soul and crona psychosis solidarity. these corruption susceptible bitches need to find companionship about it. soul actively shuts himself off from parts he doesnt like about himself and crona gets overwhelmed and consumed by theirs. opposite ends of the spectrum basically
i need maka to get better about her mom so bad. i dont think makas mom is evil she barely even exists and i think its a tragic shortcoming of canon that she doesnt even have the dignity of a name. anyways i want maka to come to terms with both of her parents causing her pain rather than pinning everything on her dad. and i want crona to be involved with that somehow because they dont think maka's mom is a good parent and i like that about them
crona is still a chronic runaway/avoider and goes missing sometimes. it takes a bit every time to confirm they havent shoved themself into some random corner of the house and are actually missing Outside somewhere
kind of an aside but i think blair is still over like all the time but mostly to hang out as a kittycat and trap people by sitting in their lap. she has her own place again but just really likes hanging out. crona is only comfortable around her when shes a cat but they like sitting with her sometimes
need at least one or two very bad nights where crona is an active danger to themself and others instead of or in addition to running away. possibly one of the few times soul or maka tries to stop them from leaving
fashion montage moment i want to expand cronas wardrobe. let them try on some of the others clothes and figure out what they actually want to be wearing. it can still include stuff like their dress i just want them to actually have the option
either a child alter or an age regression moment. thats all i just want scared little kid
gender discussion. or something otherwise gender focused. i dont have anything specific in mind and i find it difficult to make stuff like that without it getting really clunky/unnatural sounding but i Want it
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humanradiojmp · 2 months ago
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Blind Reaction to Episode 3 of TADC (without context)
Contains spoilers
I like how they’re all hanging out and spending time together. Does show they do things outside of the adventure and they’re (mostly) friends with each other
Could be wrong, but I think we’ve had a mini-time skip. I think it’s been at least a few days in between episodes. I was actually kind of hoping there’d be one in this episode, but can’t say for certain that’s the case
Soon you’ll realize there is no spoon
Wonder how useful these little things each of them have is
Apparently, the backward speech is “I can’t wait for the children in the audience to get horrible nightmares from the monster(s).”, I may be in my twenties, but you succeed.
Peggy? Isn’t that the main character from Sunset Paradise?
Same, Pomni. Same.
Ok, so maybe no time skip
He really wants Zooble’s approval. It’s his thing to entertain everyone, and everyone is not entertained
Who ya goin’ call? Ghostbusters!
I can kind of see the Murder Drones inspiration with that door. Or maybe it’s more the same effects used for the fleshy bits
Just because he can summon anyone he wants where he wants, he chooses not to. Despite doing horribly at the adventures and traumatizing everyone, he’s at least considerate to a degree
Yeah, definitely Bubble, not you
Me when trying to talk to someone but I’m autistic and can’t always articulate what I want well
I can’t believe I actually remember the random line out of context for Caine because I laughed
*flashes of scary faces* haha, I’m not going to enjoy this
I’m literally Pomni in this situation
Wait, he’s going to hunt the cast? Is he a secret cannibal or something like that?
Flashbacks to episode one
Watching it back, there’s actually a lot of foreshadowing of what the creature is in the office. Drawings, books, photos. Lots of blink-and-miss things
Lucid Kinger moment?
It’s gone, isn’t it?
This isn’t regular darkness. This is… advance darkness!
“What was that?” “Who do you think it was? it was me!” “Are… are you my conscience?”
Love the 2D effect of the eyes
me in several inappropriate settings
Me at night when it’s love bug season
Nope.
Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! No-
I’m not kidding when I say I am not a big fan of horror, at all. I hid behind my Pomni plushy when the head was screaming
Checkmate Canon?!
That’s going to haunt me for a while
So Caine is aware and even admits he’s torturing the humans. He’s just doing it out of ignorance
Stop changing the subject!
The existential horror of being in a body that’s not your own and even with the allusion of being able to change it it’s essentially pointless is not the problem. The problem is the adventures!
What would happen if Caine abstracts? Half wonder if that’s what’s going to happen in the end of the series. With the circus being an extension of him, it’s a little scary to think about the implications
Poetic irony and tragedy with the main guy of this story
Obviously there’s some parallels between the made up story and whatever happened to Kinger. He’s getting more lucid with each tape and almost looks reminiscent and a tad bit guilty
Just ask nicely and the ghosts won’t bother you
These are tears of laughter and not because I’m scared *hugs plushy tighter*
The lore information really isn’t great with its timing and placement, but at the same time it is
They have great recording mechanics in the underworld
Martha!!!
Deserved. Probably tried to suck up Martha
Kind of half wished we got a full body look of Martha, mostly because I want to know how accurate my drawing is. But at least I was partially right on there being a lot of bows to her design.
*sees confetti* *previous episode flashbacks*
Is the hell she’s in metaphorical or literal? That’s the real question isn’t it?
And now she’s possessed
That’s why he was smacking Pomni with the gun
That’s just cruel, man
Kinger lore?
Pomni lore??
Who is He???
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Checkmate Canon?!?!?!?!?!
I’m not crying, you are!
It’s canon *crying from happiness as well as the sad bit of the story we got*
It’s a bit unexpected that Quennie is the one who likes bugs. Pretty much everyone assumed it was Kinger, but it was the other way around
This! This is what I’ve been wanting for a long time! the importance of friendship and having other people around you. almost everything now made is like, super toxic, or only about the romance. What about the relationships of people would care for each other deeply without wanting to kiss or sleep with each other, or it being manipulative? Clearly I’ve been starving since Friendship is Magic ended, and now, I’m getting my fix.
Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy a good romance (emphasis on the good) as much as the next person, and there are definitely some toxic relationships that can make for good drama. I just… I don’t know, I want more wholesome platonic/familial relationships in media. is that too much to ask for?
Gooseworx, thank you
Legitimately though, why does he glow?
I also like the appreciative moment between Ragatha and Pomni. I actually hope they become the best of friends.
Sentient AI cannot understand expressions. Neither can I sometimes
And that’s episode 3
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ice-and-starlight · 2 years ago
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I’m jumping you back into the hp fandom. I need to know your in depth opinions on jily!
Are you sure? I mean, are you sure?
...Alright, then.
WARNINGS: This is going to be so very extremely anti. Anti-Lily, Anti-James, Anti-Jily, Anti-JKR. Just... so much negativity. Seriously, please don't read this if you like even a part of any of these.
Are we clear?
Okay.
So, to begin with, James and Lily are held up as paragons of virtue for a lot of the first half of the series, and I'm honestly convinced that's what JKR intended them to be. Even when she tries to make them more like characters than ideals, it's fairly half-hearted from an author who has brought us such great examples of depth and complexity as Severus Snape and Albus Dumbledore.
There is so much room for extrapolation and fan interpretations, not least of all because both of them exhibit some deeply disturbing behaviour that mostly gets glossed over by the narrative. And my interpretations aren't going to be kind. Mostly, I'm sad to say, as a reaction to 1) fans of Jily trying to shove it down my throat when I was a teenager and 2) JKR's anti-trans warmongering making me highly critical of a lot of her attitudes towards gender, sexuality, and relationships.
So, first, I'm going to try and detail what we actually know about them from canon. Then, I'm going to talk a bit about how knowledge of JKR's prejudices and biases have affected my interpretation. Then... I'm going to drag Jily through the mud.
So, James and Lily met on the train to boarding school at eleven. James picked on her friend based on a social prejudice that's new to her, and she removed them from the situation. Over the following years, James picks on her friend frequently, which she doesn't ever seem indignant about, culminating in the event where James, who's had a crush on her for a while and obviously enough that Severus noticed it, tries to threaten her into dating hi., Lily puts him down harshly, and then leaves her newly ex-friend to his mercies after he insulted her. At some point about a year to a year and a half later, they start dating after 'James deflated his head a little'. They marry straight out of school, and join a vigilante group to fight terrorists together. Also, James goes into training to become an Auror. There is no mention, afaik, as to what else Lily is doing in that time, besides that we know that she and James 'thrice defied' Voldemort, presumably in person, given that I'm sure a lot more couples 'thrice defied' him in some way during the course of those three years. They have a child two years into joining this war, and go into hiding to protect him. They know there's a spy in the Order, and this fractures their friendships (well, James's we're never told who Lily's friends are besides Severus except that she has them), while James chafes at the restrictions of being in hiding. Eventually, Voldemort finds them, and James tries to hold him off without a wand while Lily runs upstairs to get Harry, then stands over his crib begging Voldemort to spare her baby.
That's... pretty much all we know of them from canon.
Metatextually, we know that Lily is meant to represent the unconditional love of the mother, the selfless sacrifice, and James is meant to represent the ideal that Harry's striving to become. (Ask me some time about how disturbing I find the parallels between Jily and Hinny.) And that together, they are meant to be the shining example of love and happiness and bravery and justice. (Also ask me some time about how there isn't a single adult in Harry's life who looks at him and cares (or doesn't care) about him for him, instead of because of who his parents are.)
And given what I now know about JKR's ideas about gender, gender roles, and therefore the standard hetrosexual relationships of our society... The disturbing inconsistencies between what we're told about Jily and what we actually see of their relationship begin to make a lot more sense.
So on the one hand, I fully believe that Lily and James belong together and deserve each other. On the other, I don't really mean that as a good thing.
James's feelings towards Lily are not selfless and they're not kind. He bullies her friend and tries to use that as leverage to get her to date him, and literally only stops where she can see him after that. Lily... finds that good enough. Frankly, given some of the details and turns of phrase in the the Prince's Tale, I would go so far as to say she passively encouraged him even before that. Look at the way she talks to Severus about the bullying. She condemns James's behaviour once, in passing, to stop Severus from bringing him up so that she can continue to scold him. (I'm not passing judgement on whether that scolding was justified or not, that is a whole different meta.)
We don't know what they looked like while they were dating, but we do know they probably weren't even dating for a full year before they got married. Understandable given the state of war their world was in, but... not something I'd hold up as a sign of good decision making on either of their parts. James 'got the girl' (I don't think I need to elaborate on why I find that whole dynamic skeevy) and Lily... I get some serious 'I can fix him' vibes from her decision to date him, and that never ends well. After that, we're told that James and Sirius are trying/want to become Aurors. (I think. I can't actually remember where... Please correct me if I'm wrong and that's only fanon.) With no mention of what Lily's doing afaik.
We know she fights for the order, but... I expect, if you asked JKR what Lily's career was, the answer would be 'housewife'. Within a year or so, she's pregnant, a year later, she's in hiding, a year later, she's dead.
Now, I do understand that part of the justification for all of this will be 'it was war, they were young and in love', but it seems like a really stupid thing, to me, when they've been personally and repeatedly targeted by Voldemort himself, to have a baby. They're really young, James can't possibly be out of training yet, there is a mass-murdering dark wizard gunning for them, Lily is part of his preferred demographic to torture and kill, and their reaction is 'you know what would make this situation better? A baby!'?!
Now, why would Lily, who from what we've seen was a passionate, (self-)righteous person, be willing to take time off from fighting a war that's both extremely personal to her and also escalating fairly quickly, to dedicate herself to raising a baby? Because motherhood is the epitome of womanhood. How could she not?
Hello, JKR, I can see you there behind the curtain again.
As for James in all of this... Well, I've written a draft ranting about James Potter that I didn't post because I try not to spew negativity all over the internet anymore (I tried that once, it wasn't fun for anybody). But I will say that I think there are some deeply sinister interpretations of a rich spoiled bully immediately going into law enforcement after school while his 'headstrong' wife ends up staying home to watch the baby.
TL;DR: Lily and James are that perfect married couple who on the surface appear to be every romantic dream made real, but when you scratch the surface, a lot of ugliness oozes out. At best they were young and stupid and made some significant mistakes that they never got the chance to learn from and reflect on because they died so young. At worst they were a toxic, abusive mess vying for power over each other and we only never got to see them fall apart because they died so young.
(Of course, they never would have, because we know that this is JKR's idea of an ideal relationship. Yikes.)
They are so severely fucked up, and if they'd actually been presented that way, I might have actually found them engaging and interesting, as individuals and as a couple. But I took a hard right into 'I'm fucking done' because so many people bought into the stereotypical heteronormative love story of a couple who can do no wrong.
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