#i translated the titles myself so that’s probably not the actual names of the pieces in english

[philaet0s]

not my usual content, but i went to the musée d’orsay and to the louvre today and i fell in love with a few pieces of art, so i wanted to share them here

in order:

eve après le péché (eve after the fall) - eugène delaplanche

mort de francesca de rimini et de paolo malatesta (death of francesca de rimini and paolo malatesta) - alexandre cabanel

la vierge, l'enfant jésus et saint jean baptiste (the virgin, the baby jesus, and saint john the baptist) - ferdinant humbert

coin d’appartement (a corner of the apartment) - claude monet

la vierge adorant l’hostie (the virgin adoring the host) - jean auguste dominique ingres

abel - camille félix bellanger

dante et virgile - william bouguereau

l’amour et psychée à demi couchée - antonio canova

la jeune martyre (the young martyr) - paul delaroche

le tépidarium - théodore chassériau

[epickiya722]

If you don't mind me asking, can I ask your top favorite fics that you've written (feel free how much that you want to list)? Why they're special to you? Is there a specific inspiration when you wrote them?

Thanks if you want to answer....

I'll tell you, all my fics are special to me and most of the time, I find myself having fun writing them. Writing isn't just a hobby, but a way for me to release pent up feelings I have or express an idea that came to me.

To name a couple...

Beware of the Bunnies - It's the first fic I wrote for "if Miruko was Midoriya's mentor". It was fun writing that fic, especially when it's a fic for my two #1 faves. I honestly didn't expect the amount of attention I got for it!

Not Red, Black - I sometimes like branching out from writing warm-hearted, funny fics and this is one of those times. Another AU idea I had, but if Miruko and Midoriya were eldritch-like creatures and related. Unlike its prequel, this one stepped more in horror imagery and I think the direction the fic took.

Forbid a Woman from Being Great - Yes, another Miruko fic and one I actually wrote out of spite. When it comes to this fandom (as with any), is how double standard they can get. With Miruko, I have seem people hate her for being "too aggressive" or "too mean", but praise other characters for those same traits or even give excuses for their behavior. Or with fanservice, the same people who complain about it also thirst over the male characters getting bloody and shirtless. I don't hate characters like Dabi, Shigaraki or Hawks but I can't stomach how their fans act when it comes to Miruko or any other character really. It was actually a Hawks fan that irritated me enough to write this fic as well as get me out of the writing funk I was in.

An Absolute Menace - This is a fun little fic. It's part of a series of Class A and occasionally B partaking in antics. With this one, writing Koda as this troll was new, but fun.

Let's SK8 Over the Rainbow - This is actually a SK8 series that I wrote and it's still one of my favorites. It started off as a headcanon (Reki allowing Koyomi to paint his nails) and then spiraled into a collection of short stories themed around colors and I love colors so much. One of the fics, You're Lime Green Jell-O, I dove into expanding a character that only appeared once in SK8. Her name is Miki and she has green hair and I remember seeing her and going "You, you're getting some personality, a story, etc." Best decision ever. I just loved writing Miki and I think it was the first time I wrote a whole story for a character that only had two lines in canon.

Tu es le Moment Auquel J'appartiens - Another series I adore. I wanted to write some jealous Vanitas since I don't think I had seen a lot of Vanoé fics where he was the jealous one while Noé was more oblivious. Not at the time, I don't know about now since I haven't read a VNC fic in a long time. The title translates to "You are the moment I belong to" which is a line of lyrics from the anime's first ending song that I love so much.

It's the Pink Hair, Isn't It? - Do not get me wrong! I do love the AUs I see where Sukuna and Yuji are brothers, but the idea of this fic came from what if they were identical strangers and not related in the slightest. Even funnier, in the fic, Kenjaku and Suguru are siblings that look like twins, but Kenjaku is older. My favorite scenes probably have to be Kenjaku and Yuji interacting and Sukuna and Yuji meeting. I've also been cooking up a sequel so I can write more of Kenjaku and Suguru being siblings and Yuji's brothers and I do mean all nine older brothers. (I relate to Choso so much.)

Your Heartbeat Is My Comfort - Ever see a beautiful piece of fanart and you want to write a fic about it? That's what happened here. I saw this FushiIta art post here and it was like BAM! I had to write a fic. It was also another I didn't write something comedic, but more somber, bit of tragedy yet comfort in there.

Maybe Someday We'll Meet Again - I'm all for the Teacher Geto AU! However, this fic came from a what if scenario had Suguru and Yuji had met when they were younger and I always how Kenjaku was even aware of Suguru's technique. So I put both ideas together and thus this fic was born. It isn't dark, but little less comedic than others and I tried my hand at focusing on more of Yuji's strangeness and innocence here along with Suguru's character before he became a curse user.

You Are My Special - Again, another time I went for less comedy and fluff and tried with something else. I actually don't know how to categorize this one in terms of genre. SPECIALZ was stuck in my head for a long time and it got when I really started thinking about the lyrics and decided why not try writing something from Kenjaku's POV about Yuji? It may have took forever to write, but I'm glad I did. I actually wanted to write a companion piece of sorts but from Sukuna's POV about Yuji.

The Pink Sky and Cherry Blossoms - I actually just posted this fic and I'm glad I waited to answer this ask because of it. I was rereading the manga and came to Uro's fight with Ryu and Yuta and instantly fell in love with her character and thought about how would it have been like if Uro met my other favorite, Yuji? They have some similarities going on there and it was eye-opening writing those into this fic, especially with Uro's character. I wasn't around when that arc came out, so I didn't know how the fandom acted towards her, but for me, I just felt there's more to her than the surface. She's the Miruko of JJK to me as Yuji is the Izuku. Just as I would love for Miruko and Izuku to be a duo in a big sis-lil bro/mentor-mentee way, I love the same for Uro and Yuji.

The Craving That Paints Your Lips Red - The last fic I wrote for 2023 and a sequel to another fic, I wanted to try my hand at the horror again. But more tame, but still "Oh my gosh". I'm writing a post about it, but I have thoughts about Yuji and Sukuna's relationship and sometimes I have this feeling that Sukuna wants to corrupt Yuji, kind of like shape him to be the next him almost. Not for certain, but it's an idea that kind of struck me. For this fic, I wanted to explore a more horror fic side of Yuji housing the King of Curses. The best part of this fic for me is how I unintentionally stuck with the idea that Yuji keeps getting back up no matter how many times Sukuna tries to break him.

That list got longer than intended, but again, I have a lot of fics I have enjoyed writing! I'm glad to have talked about them and I thank you for asking! 💜

[ghostoftheyear]

What is DRAMAtical Murder?

I’m actually a little surprised to be writing this myself, in the year of our lord 2023, but why not? I didn’t know about it myself until recently, and now that it’s available with an official English translation, it’s a lot more accessible.

First of all, DRAMAtical Murder (or DMMd for short) is a visual novel that came out in 2012 in Japan. It was published by Nitro+CHIRAL, features art by Honyarara, and has some amazing music as well (the theme song is by Goatbed, with ending songs by them, Itou Kanako, VERTUEUX, and Seizi Kimura). It is a boys’ love or BL visual novel, probably the softest of the Nitro+CHIRAL titles; since its publication, it has received several additional pieces of media: a fandisk (Re:Connect), a sanitized version for the PSVita (Re:Code), and even an anime which... is certainly one way to get into it.

In 2021, Jast Blue made an official translation which was released both on Steam (censored) and their own website (uncensored). A patch is available on their website to restore the uncensored content for those who purchased it on Steam, which still allows the player to receive all the achievements. There was also a fan translation lovingly created many years ago, and the controversy over which version is better rages on. I won’t comment about it here; just know that whichever version you prefer, that is your right.

But what is DMMd about? Well... this is gonna get long, so let’s buckle in.

DMMd is set in a near-future cyberpunk setting, generally positive and colorful rather than dystopian. The story takes place on an island off the coast of Japan, Midorijima (literally “green island”), where many of the residents have been forced off the island due to the building of a gigantic sort of adult playground, Platinum Jail, where the rich and elite party like there’s no tomorrow. The remaining residents of the island live in what’s left of the city, though the owner of Platinum Jail, Tatsuo Toue, seems to be trying to grasp the remaining land as well for his own purposes.

Some of the residents have taken to forming gangs called Ribstiez, which control different parts of the Residential District. Others play a virtual game called Rhyme that takes place entirely within the players’ minds. This is facilitated through the use of Allmates, small robotic creatures that can look like anything the user desires and have multiple functions -- some manage social media, some help their owners with their daily schedules, etc.

Our protagonist is the young man known as Aoba Seragaki.

Aoba, 23 years old and single at the start of the game, works at Heibon Junk Shop. He is demonstrated to have an unusually persuasive voice when he chooses to, but -- aside from that, and his hair having sensation in it -- he seems to be an ordinary young man just trying to live a simple life. He lives with his grandmother, Tae, as his parents left Midorijima when he was young, and he has an Allmate: a small, fluffy, blue dog resembling a Japanese Spitz, named Ren.

Aoba has four potential love interests (plus a secret one whose route is unlocked as you play through the others’ routes).

First up is Koujaku.

Koujaku is an old childhood friend of Aoba’s. He had to leave the island when they were young, but came back around three years prior to the start of the story. He leads the Ribstiez gang known as Beni-Shigure and has a red sparrow Allmate named Beni. To supplement his income, he works as a wandering hairdresser and sets up on the street to cut hair. He and Aoba have a comfortable friendship that gets tested in his route.

Next, we have Clear.

Clear is a mysterious stranger who literally falls out of the sky the first time he and Aoba meet. He refers to Aoba as “Master” and refuses to take his gas mask off under any circumstances. To say any more about him would spoil literally his entire route.

Next up is Noiz:

Noiz appears first when he challenges Aoba to a match in Rhyme, insisting that Aoba is an old player of the game despite the fact that Aoba doesn’t remember ever having played Rhyme in the past. Noiz is part of a Rhyme gang known as the Ruff Rabbitz, and his Allmate is a small black-and-green cube called Usagimodoki. It’s entirely possible he has several of them, since they can be seen hanging in chains from his belt. Noiz works as an information broker to earn an income on Midorijima, but he’s not originally from there, as we learn on his route.

Finally, we have Mink.

Mink is a complicated character, as he doesn’t speak too much and when he does, it tends to be in riddles. He’s also not originally from Midorijima; while it’s not specified, his aesthetic is very much Native American. He has a pink cockatoo Allmate who is not named during the main game. Mink runs a Rib gang called Scratch made up of escaped convicts. His reasons for wanting Aoba on his side are his own, only revealed far into his route. His is the darkest of the routes, and I would say a trigger warning is in order for this one.

As for the final love interest, I won’t talk about it here. More fun to find out for yourself, right? Just remember: there’s some weird shit in this game.

Lest I forget, I must mention some other important characters. First up, Aoba’s friend Mizuki.

Mizuki runs the largest Ribstiez gang on Midorijima, Dry Juice. He’s a tattoo artist and owns a combination tattoo parlor and bar, the Black Needle.

There’s also Virus and Trip.

Virus and Trip (who are emphatically not twins) are a pair of yakuza who seem to show up a lot around Aoba. They claim to be his biggest fans.

Of course, there’s also Tae, as well as Aoba’s boss Haga (who has a robotic Allmate named Junker), Yoshie (who runs a courier service and owns a sleek dog Allmate, Clara), and a trio of young siblings who torment Aoba at his work - Mio, Nao, and Kio. In addition, one of the most corrupt cops on the island, Akushima, regularly pops up to bother the characters.

As the common route progresses, Aoba learns more about himself and his past -- and realizes he has to stop what’s happening before it’s too late. He eventually heads into Platinum Jail no matter which love interest’s route is chosen; the events that unfold change depending on which route you’re on, but playing through all of them and unlocking the secret route will finally reveal the truth of it all.

Re:Connect, as befits a fandisk, explores more with each of the love interest routes after their good endings (and also a bit more of the bad endings). It also has a route specifically to fill in Aoba’s backstory and youth. Re:Code is basically the same game, but sanitized -- all of the sex scenes were removed and given “cleaner” CGs. It did add a route for Mizuki, which involved more of Aoba’s backstory. Finally, the anime was passable, though it compressed all the love interests’ stories into an episode each and went with the secret route for the ending. It is absolutely unwatchable in dub, except for laughs and memes. Re:Connect can be found and played with the fan translation online, and is absolutely worth locating. Re:Code, unfortunately, is still only available to play on the PSVita and has not been translated at all.

Oh, and there was also a stage play! Remarkably, they produced a butai in 2019, well after the games had come out, with the different love interest routes portrayed on alternate days. I would be happy to make a post babbling about that if there’s interest. Apparently the original run did well enough that a new production was announced earlier this year, which will be happening at the end of April. A new route was added for Virus and Trip, and the whole thing is supposed to be a “supercharged” version, not just a retread of the original.

OH I FORGOT there are also drama CDs that continued all of the love interests’ stories and had even more new music, as well as some other fun things like a special drama CD for the anime release, an April Fool’s game that basically parodied Mother (Earthbound), and manga. And there’s a webtoon now. And lots of merch. And figures. Basically there’s just a lot of fun stuff to find.

And that’s DMMd! I obviously love it quite a bit, but I certainly acknowledge that it has its flaws and difficult scenes. I’d still recommend it, though. I think the writing is very well handled and the sex scenes are hot as fuck.

[veskscans]

Shin Megami Tensei II PlayStation manual art by Kazuma Kaneko and Megumi Shiraishi, 2001. Scanned at 800 DPI, 4898x4829.

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1kJiHHbLIkKuUhZGpi8au_0A-kDFxcnpO?usp=share_link

As already stated, this piece was drawn for SMT II’s PlayStation manual cover. It also predates the game’s release by a year, so it was probably done during the latter half of 2001. Onto the characters, this piece features bust-ups of Aleph, Beth, Hiroko, Gimmel, Daleth and Zayin. The brush used for them is quite thick, unlike the thin one used in this game’s individual character and demon artwork. Before anyone goes making Gorillaz comparisons, take note that this predates their Demon Days album by a whole four years, lol.

Since there isn’t any commentary for this piece, or anything interesting I can observe, I’ll be providing some general character and design information below. Take note that there’ll be some major spoilers for SMT II. All of the information is sourced from Kazuma Kaneko Works II and III, translated by myself, so apologies for any mistakes.

Aleph, meaning 'one' or 'bull' in Hebrew, is the amnesiac protagonist of SMT II. At the start of the game, he was the only warrior belonging to the Okamoto Gym, where he was given the name 'Hawk'. During training inside a virtual battle, he is given the demon summoning program by STEVEN.

After becoming champion of the colosseum, he is informed of his true name and purpose of being a messiah. He follows orders until he meets his creator, Dr Mekata, and learns that he is an artificial human created by the Centre. He then begins to follow his own path.

Aleph is actually very young, probably 8ish, but appears older. He is well-liked by women, possibly due to their innate maternal instincts, and is very attractive overall. However, the only person in Aleph's heart is Hiroko. Notice the pretty significant COMP redesigns for the PS release. Aleph had a unique, goggled one in his SFC design, whereas Daleth had more of an SMT I one. Now they both have these visor ones.

Beth, meaning 'two' or 'house' in Hebrew, is one of SMT II's main characters. She is a female Temple Knight belonging to the Centre and was artificially created as Aleph's ideal partner. She wears white and blue, colours symbolic of Messianic faith, and is adorned with cross symbols. After Aleph is recognised as the true Messiah, she devotes herself to him and stands by his side with full support, but inevitably loses her life while shielding him from Daleth. Her actions go beyond the scope of command and were done purely out of love for Aleph. Her soul can later be found in the Chesed area of the Demon World.

Beth's design is very similar to the Heroine from the first game, whom Beth is in fact a reincarnation of. Her death is what causes the SMT I Hero statue to weep.

Gimmel, meaning 'three' or 'camel' in Hebrew, is one of the main characters of SMT II. He is the most intelligent of the humans created in the Messiah Project, a trait which is reflected in his design. Both his lyre and laurel headpiece are inspired by Apollo, Greek god of poetry and art. Gimmel is the administrator of Arcadia, a virtual city in cyberspace that was modelled after the Millennium Kingdom. There he is worshipped as a saviour, but in reality, his actual appearance is a stark contrast to that of Gimmel’s perfect virtual body.

Daleth, meaning 'four' or 'door' in Hebrew, is one of the main characters and antagonists of SMT II. He was created as a counterpart to the Messiah, Aleph, and fights him for the title of true Messiah. However, during battle, he accidentally kills Beth, who defended Aleph at the cost of her own life. The 'door' meaning of his name represents an ordeal through which Aleph must pass. Fleeing after his defeat, he meets the fairy Hanoun, who falls in love with him. Daleth also falls in love with her, after being afflicted with the Fidelity Sap. He then abandons his desire for vengeance and lives with Hanoun.

The way Kaneko Works describes it, neither Aleph nor Daleth were strictly destined to be Messiah, but they both had the potential. That is to say, it’s not as if there is a strictly true or false side between Daleth and Aleph’s battle. As such, Daleth's design draws heavily from the Hero's design from the first game, and as Daleth and Aleph are counterparts, they too are similar in design.

Zayin, meaning 'seven' or 'weapon' in Hebrew, is a law-abiding man and the final prototype of the Messiah Project. He is powerful Temple Knight and proudly displays a cross on his chest, under which he is wrapped in a sarashi (bleached cloth). He is characterized by his eyes, which show the strength of his will, and by his angular, long face and hair. He carries out his orders of monitoring Aleph, but begins to doubt the methods of the Center. After being defeated by Aleph, he acts on his convictions and exposes the atrocities of the Center while freeing citizens from concentration camps. However, he later turns himself in after the Center threatens the lives of innocent civilians. Later on in the game, he fuses with Seth to become Satan.

It might be a little confusing as to why the names jump from ‘four’ (Daleth) to ‘seven’ (Zayin), but there’s a few possible explanations. Firstly, God created the world in seven days, so seven is often seen a symbol of completeness. Zayin is the final and most complete prototype of the Messiah Project, so that could be why he was given seven. Secondly, five and six may have been left out because they are are heh and vav, as in Yod Heh Vav Heh, YHVH (thanks to Kid Capes for pointing this out to me). Finally, and most simply, Heh and Vav would suck as names, so ATLUS staff could have skipped over them since Zayin is (objectively) way cooler.

Last one. Hiroko is one of the major characters SMT II. Unlike the other characters, she was not born from the Messiah Project, so her name doesn’t come from the Hebrew alphabet. She does take part in the project, however, and is an elite Temple Knight and daughter of one of the project's leaders, Dr Mekata. She is forced to undergo artificial insemination and becomes the surrogate mother of Aleph, but her memories were wiped once her fertilised egg was removed. She begins to remember her child and eventually comes to meet Aleph, not realising who he is until she reunites with her father, Mekata, and he tells them the truth. Hiroko is the only character to stick by Aleph's side until the very end, no matter which ending you choose. Hiroko's position, design and strong character suggest the image of Lilith, Adam's first wife. The whip wrapped around her body is likely symbolic of a serpent.

P.S., all of the character art was seemingly drawn down to the waist, but cut off much higher for the final piece. Here’s a scan from the SMT II Official Perfect Guide.

[1moremilgram-enjoyer]

Muu T1 Cover - Otome Dissection

More cover connections! This time, we have our favorite queen bee herself, Muu, and her cover, Otome Dissection! Honestly, this is probably my favorite cover so far, Muu's voice is so good for this song! I really recommend you listen to it if you haven't.

That said, what, and I cannot stress this enough, the fuck, is happening in this song?

CW Suicide and death, bullying

Otome Dissection is about a girl in a relationship, who loves her partner and is scared by the idea of them leaving.

Good evening, is now a good time? I didn't really have anything specific I wanted to say, but Now there's this and that, and an "it's alright" comes to mind Without you, none of that matters Both of us with our masks on, we flirted

Sorry for calling you so early I must've woken you up, huh? Are you up to chat right now? I had a dream where you fell in love with somebody else Please tell me it's not true. C'mon, love me please?

(Translation)

Got that? Good, because that's about the only thing I could gather the first time I read the lyrics.

The girl does not feel very happy with her life outside of the relationship, but struggles to communicate their pain to their lover. She really does want them to understand there's a problem, but she ends up framing her issues as only boredom.

It's in pieces, without spelling out "love" It's a penalty shoot-out, Feelings vs. Boredom Yeah, there's a kid there, lost in anything and everything, Shedding tears, meowing "SOS" with their eyes only halfway open This disease, the whole package, I'll send it to you as an attachment I don't wanna go so far as to share all the things that cause me pain I just wanna run away from this love...

(... Okay I'm gonna be honest. Different translations have very different lyrics, to the point where a lot of this might not be applicable to all translations. I hope you understand I'm struggling and accept that I have to pick one and run with it)

As you can see, she wants to share the "disease" with her lover, tell them what she's struggling with, but can't get herself to share all the things she's in pain about. No, I have no idea what the "wanna run away from this love" line means, it sorta contradicts literally the entire rest of the song, so... under the rug it goes!

The "kid meowing SOS" is actually the protagonist, because if you look at the video, while that lyric plays, the girl has a cat tail, and you know, "meowing."

DECO*27 try not to relate your characters to cats challenge level impossible.

The point is that she's dismissing her tears, like "yeah there's a kid there, they're kinda lost in the mess, don't worry about them." It comes off as somewhat nonchalant imo. Again, struggles to share her pain.

Let's play [Otome] Dissection! Calling each other by our real names "I don't wanna live" was what I should've said Will I ever find peace?

(Note: The translation I'm using translates 'otome', but since the title doesn't, I don't want to do it here. Don't ask how my brain works, I don't know myself)

She should say she's suicidal, to get her lover to understand her issues before they go too far, but she can't get herself to do so. And because she's hurting so much, she attempts suicide, and her lover saves her. And she finds that... exciting? She finds it's the only way she can get him to pay attention to her struggles.

Let's play [Otome] Dissection! Don't we all want some excitement to get our hearts pumping? I've wanted to feel shame ever since that night when I realized it's good as long as it hurts

Let's play [Otome] Dissection! Pulling burning passion out of each other Feels stupid already, I can't stand you telling me "no!" Will we ever clear up this misunderstanding? Let's play [Otome] Dissection! Smearing drool on top of the "baguette" Let's see if our climax had been a letdown Ever since that night

It's not immediately obvious from the lyrics, but the video makes it much clearer.

... It makes it a bit clearer.

That's what "Otome Dissection" is. Otome means 'maiden', but with the wording of 'playing Otome Dissection' it may also be a reference to 'otome games', a genre of visual novels which are basically dating sims with girl leads. And I assume you know dissection is a process done on dead things. With that in mind, "playing Otome Dissection" would imply "playing at killing the maiden to date the lover", aka attempting suicide and getting her lover to save her. I know it sounds odd, but that is what's happening. You see her 'dancing with death' in most of the choruses.

The singer claims she does it because it's exciting, that nothing else makes her feel as good as it. Again, I believe it's more so that it feels good to have her lover concern themselves with her safety, but she just doesn't know how to express she wants them to do that without "playing Otome Dissection."

Let's play [Otome] Dissection! Don't we all want some excitement to get our hearts pumping?

Let's play [Otome] Dissection! Smearing drool on top of the "baguette" Let's see if our climax had been a letdown Ever since that night

"Smearing drool on the baguette" is vaguely sexual imagery depicting pleasure, though I'm not sure why we're bringing bread into it. Unless... baguette -> French -> Muu? My job is so unbelievably easy sometimes.

She does understand this isn't exactly good, but she can't help the way she feels when she does it.

I've wanted to feel shame ever since that night when I realized it's good as long as it hurts

(Note this all started in 'that night', when she came to a realization. 'That night' likely refers to the first time she attempted suicide, and thus, it seems she didn't know she'd enjoy it the first time. If you follow, that means she had other reasons for attempting suicide, which heavily implies those other struggles she's not mentioning do in fact exist and I'm not going insane. I clarify because the lyrics are very confusing so I gotta properly explain my interpretation)

Her lover also clearly isn't very happy with it, but she wants him to understand it really does make her feel good.

Let's play [Otome] Dissection! Pulling burning passion out of each other Feels stupid already, I can't stand you telling me "no!" Will we ever clear up this misunderstanding?

But there's a big problem. You might have seen it at the start, the lover starts to grow distant towards the end of the second verse.

I had a dream where you fell in love with somebody else Please tell me it's not true. C'mon, love me please? Two times a day, morning and night, I'll sprinkle spices on you The insanity of wrong assumptions has no effect Listen, you've been pretty cold lately

Uh... "sprinkling spices" probably means "making the relationship more exciting", which as we've established is what she feels she's doing by "playing [Otome] Dissection." The "wrong assumption" is probably that the lover is growing more distant and might even be interested in someone else, but the girl denies the idea, calls it "insane." She's in denial over her relationship breaking down.

Which is why she doesn't notice when the lover drifts away so much, the next time she "plays Otome Dissection", they don't end up saving her. She goes too far, and ends up dying.

Yeah, the song's pretty sad.

This was all already only slightly less complicated than the average Milgram MV, and what's even funnier is that now I have to find a way to connect all this to Muu! How the fuck- Yeah this one'sdifficult.

Okay, so there's two ways I think this can work. The first is what I think is more likely; the "lover" is actually Muu's group of old 'friends', and 'Otome Dissection' is bullying other classmates.

[It's Not my Fault] Sorry, sorry, that must’ve hurt. I didn’t mean to though. You got on my nerves just a teensy tiny bit, that’s all. So let’s say this makes us even.

(Using the fan translation here)

Since that lyric seems to be directed at her bullied classmates in the context of the MV, Muu is claiming she bullies them for small reasons ("you got on my nerves just a teensy tiny bit"), though it's very likely she's hiding the real reasons. As you may know, bullies are generally hiding some of their own insecurities by making fun of others', and considering the way Muu speaks of herself in After Pain, it certainly feels like that may have been the case.

[After Pain] If I was gone, If I had just disappeared I overheard, I found out How much I’m not needed There’s no special meaning, I got the short end of the stick I overheard, I found out How much I’m not needed

Plus there's the fact many people have pointed out that in It's Not my Fault, Muu is still represented in her own mind as a monster. Though everyone else in that mind space thing is also an insect, so maybe she just doesn't really think anyone in her school was all that great. Well, except Rei. The lesbian interpretation grows stronger by the day.

So, the same way Otome Dissection's protagonist was hurting in other ways yet claimed she only attempted suicide because it was exciting (and I guess she just expects us to ignore why she attempted suicide the first time), Muu bullied others to feel better about herself, but claimed she did it for more superficial reasons. In fact, the official translation even claims she did it "because of being bored", the exact same reason Otome Dissection girl gives. Admittedly I'm pulling this more from the cover itself than the base Milgram content, and a very specific reading of the song too, which is not always recommended, but still.

This means the end of the song, with the lover growing more distant and possibly taking interest in someone else, is paralleled in the way Muu's friends abandoned her for Rei. While Otome Dissection girl goes too far and ends up dying without receiving help, Muu bullies the wrong person or something, Rei "turns the hourglass" and she's abandoned to suffer for her actions. Get it? I think it makes some sense.

(I will ignore the fact most of this interpretation comes from It's Not my Fault when this cover was released with After Pain, and there's nothing you can do about it)

The second way to read this is... way less charitable, to both Muu and Otome Dissection girl. Basically, you could argue Otome Dissection girl was only attempting suicide to get pity from her partner, and connect that to Muu's desire to be pitied.

[It's Not my Fault] It’s not my fault after all, after all. Everyone wants me to be innocent. What a relief. Can’t be helped. I’m always meant to be pitied!

In this interpretation, Muu "playing Otome Dissection" doesn't refer to a specific action she does, but rather to the way she used to present herself in Trial 1, when she was trying to get pity from Es/the others. However, that doesn't explain what the ending of the song would imply for Muu. Although you could argue Otome Dissection girl's death isn't really referenced in the lyrics, so it wouldn't apply to Muu, maybe?

Alternatively, you could speculate Muu was getting pity from her old 'friends', and that's what Otome Dissection was for her. That way the ending could still parallel Muu being abandoned for Rei. However, I don't think that works too well, since it's never really implied otherwise that the others hung out with Muu out of pity, and in this case "playing Otome Dissection" didn't directly lead to her "death", unlike the song.

Because of all of that, I personally consider the first interpretation I gave the most accurate. Where Muu "playing Otome Dissection" refers to bullying others to get attention from her 'friends' and to hide her pain, and ends up being abandoned for bullying someone in front of Rei. All interpretations are valid, though!

Well, that took longer than usual. Hope you enjoyed anyways! Take care!

[softsky-daily]

11/24/2023

It was the perfect temperature today. I wish it could be cool all the time.

Positive thing: I had a good lunch with my dad, and had a pretty relaxing rest of the day.

Szechuan chicken wings my beloved. I wish I could have you every day but then I guess it wouldn't be as special.

I began watching this J-Drama (I think that's what you'd call it) called 逃げるは恥だが役に立つ which is a very famous one but I just never actually watched it until now. The English name is "The Full-Time Wife Escapist" which isn't a translation of the original title at all (It's more like "Running away is shameful but useful") and feels incredibly misleading about what the show is actually about. Basically the two main leads enter a fake marriage and predictably shenanigans ensue. I think the running away part is because they're trying to hide the fact it's not a real marriage from everyone else in their lives, or maybe they're running away from their growing feelings for each other 😳⁉️ but anyway it's very cute in a way that I guess I'm a sucker for. I'm usually picky about romance in media but this one hits the right way, at least so far.

The main guy lead is also a singer I really like and I enjoyed a different J-Drama I watched with him (he was a murder detective in that one though) so that's also probably why I'm enjoying this one too. Hopefully it doesn't devolve into the usual romcom miscommunication nonsense but I have a feeling it will anyway. Maybe I'll just hope this one actually has a happy ending since the last romcom I let myself get swept up in completely tore my heart into little pieces at the end.

[acealistair]

🏷️🗣️ and 🤝 for any character!

i will do Finch since i haven't gotten a chance to do her yet :3

🏷️: What is their full name? Do any of their names have any special meaning? How did you come up with them?

"Finch" is a nickname/the alias she chose for herself; her full name is technically "S’anvela Ven’thanyrias'elae Zaha Ilia Enwen’elae D’elae’ya." I can't remember the direct translation but it's how she's introduced in royal court and has info on her title and dynasty and whatnot (that's just how high elves be in the world she's from). The whole name was picked by my DM, but I came up with Ven’thanyrias'elae and Finch myself.

"Ven’thanyrias'elae" was essentially a keysmash name in an effort to come up with a complicated, almost silly long elven name. 😆 It doesn't have any particular meaning in Elvish at the moment but I do want to come up with something for that!

"Finch," however, was chosen by her when she fled the palace as an expression of her newfound freedom. It's probably the most poetic thing she's ever done and she would never casually admit to it. Another piece of picking it was that she was smart enough to know some intensely edgy alias, like she was tempted to pick, would be too obvious that it was her to her pursuers.

🗣️: How social are they? Do they speak to strangers because they like to or only when necessary? How differently do they act with strangers vs. friends?

Finch is firmly an introvert and straight up will not speak to strangers unless she has to. Part of that is anxiety over being in a world she's not quite used to yet outside of the palace and she is concerned about subjects being brought up that she doesn't know anything about (she does not like feeling stupid). The other part is paranoia that any given person could be an agent of her family's that is looking for her. If it wasn't for her party members rather forcefully entering her life, she'd be in a very different, lonely situation in the city right now.

Because of aforementioned reasons, Finch comes across as terribly shifty to strangers. To those more insightful, it's incredibly obvious she's hiding something. She's tense and awkward around strangers, trying to let as little personal info go as she can, even if they're trying to have a perfectly normal conversation with her. Around her friends, Finch is much more relaxed but retains her crass attitude; it's just louder. She's quicker to laugh and banter. But she's also slowly but surely allowing herself to express more genuine, heartfelt emotions around them like fear, affection, sadness, and joy.

🤝: How do they express platonic affection? When does an acquaintance become a friend for them?

This kinda overlaps with the previous questions because a big part of Finch expressing friendship with someone is by being more vulnerable around them (showing more emotions than just anger or petty amusement, letting them in on her secrets, etc). She doesn't say that though, and unfortunately hasn't quite grasped platonic gestures like gift-giving or hugging, so it can be hard for people to realize exactly how "friendly" Finch is actually being. She's trying, though! Recently for the first time she didn't take gold she found and gave it to another party member instead since she remembered they were complaining about their lack of gold lol

As for when someone becomes a friend, the line is a little fuzzy but it's not too terribly hard. The solid indication that Finch considers you a True Friend is if she tells you her secret about being the missing high elven princess, which means she deeply trusts you, of course. Otherwise, if you're relatively nice to her and hang out often enough to indicate you won't betray her at any given time, she'll consider you a casual friend or acquaintance depending on how well she knows you, or however she's feeling when she's asked the question.

[astralartefact]

dawntrail fanfest thoughts (& prayers) Part III Tokyo

Part 1 >>> here Part 2 >>> here

Pictomancer I didn't think they would do it. In my FF16-induced realism-is-a-blight doom and gloom I had given up on it and settled on Green Mage. But they did it. The mad man actually went and did it.

I'm so happy. This is great. Krile, you're looking great. I'm so happy for you and your 1 (one) line in the trailer.

That being said I still have to warm up to the aesthetic, it's sadly not exactly my cup of tea. And I do mean the in-game stuff, if the magic looked anything like in the trailer or in the artwork I would have 0 problems whatsoever, but the cartoony 3D ink drops everywhere are just a little much for me. As the Pseudo-Intellectual that I have become I was hoping it would go into a more... subtle "symbolism and the power of evocation through art" sort of thing and the style they went for in-game is... certainly a choice somebody made - but I have had a few minutes to get my thoughts about it in order and have since accepted that this is probably for the best actually, making it more cartoony makes a class concept like this probably a lot more inviting to people that don't really care all that much about art and if Pictomancer makes more people realize that everything, even and especially "shitty scribbles" by people who haven't held a brush in their life, everything you create is valuable art no matter its "worth" and that you don't have to be good at art or do it as a job to be allowed to have fun doing it and create something meaningful then I'm more than fine with it!

Also there are already a number of good Job FX mods out there and I'm fully expecting someone to make a good one for Picto at some point so eh I'll survive!

Krile They gave you one entire line. A grunt. At least you're on the Akihiko Yoshida Artwork for once.

The German Stuff Listen. When I heard him say Doitsu my ears perked up. This is our moment, we're finally being acknowledged for once! And as somebody invested in the DE localization it was actually really nice to hear that the legacy job titles from the older FFs are actually treated with the same caution as the english ones because that's the only localization where that's ever really talked about.

So seeing some english people complain that talking about it was a waste of time better spend on more important things stung a little bit.

I cannot tell you how existentially weird it is to exist as a german player playing this game in german while also 'interacting' with the fandom online, not even because of different writing choices creating different nuances in the story - but even just because of fundamental terms. Best example is actually the new zone "Heritage Found" - It's not called that in German. It's called "Ewiges Erbe" ('Eternal Legacy', and I'm choosing Legacy instead of Inheritance here because that's the japanese subtitle of Dawntrail and I think that parallel is intentional) and you know how I found that out? Because I stumbled over this name I never heard before on the german dawntrail website, then had to piece together "right there was a new zone, it's probably that" and then a short while later saw it confirmed on the german twitter. I don't get it in big letters right above the japanese name on a pretty picture right there in the livestream - I have to seek that shit out myself and hope they actually put it somewhere in case of the PLLs where they don't tweet everything right away. English speaking players don't have to do that. Even in PPLs you always get the actually important stuff right on screen. And yet some of you have the gall complain that they don't live translate every single word YoshiP says for you as if you're always on the verge of missing out on some crucial information. German and French only players have to wait for the twitter to post their translated slides - and even then they don't translate all of those either because not all of them are actually all that relevant.

Anyways, sorry for venting, but I feel like it's important. The work these other localization teams do is hard work too and deserves the same respect the english one gets even if it's "not as good" (which it isn't. because they're better than EN....!!!!!1111)

(Also just as a reminder, the quality of the VAs has nothing to do with the quality of the Localization. English Video Game VA's are at another level industry-vise compared to other (european) languages and you can't just compare them as if they work the same. I'm honestly just glad we even still get german voice over at all at this point, mostly even just because I'm absolutely sure the VAs do their best)

Hrothgar Ladies It feels right. They got it right. They did the right thing. No notes.

Actually one note, their racial top has Nomura amounts of Zippers and I love it.

The Ultimate Kind of surprised they didn't do Four Lords+Koryuu? But I guess now that they broke with conventions they can just do it later if they want to? Like I didn't expect a Stormblood MSQ Ultimate at all - even if the first ultimates weren't on the level of a Dragonsong War they were still at least 'sensical' in their setting and there's just absolutely no way to make sense of an Ultimate based around Susanoo, Lakshmi, Tsukuyomi and Shinryu that wouldn't just be "this all happened in one expansion". Like those things didn't even happen in the same war lol

I could have maybe seen an Kojin Treasures Ultimate featuring Surprise Guest Amaterasu or something, but even then only if they had done Omega vs. Shinryu as Omega's Ultimate. I personally only see Shinryu happen in a Zenos or a Endsinger Ultimate, as much as I want Shinryu to get one too, because outside of that he's just not connected to anything else.

That being said. Eden Ultimate.

Make the last phase gay, Yoshi P. I want superpowered Gaia to grow two more arms so she can bridal carry superpowered Ryne while swinging her hammer around, fighting together on the FF8 ending flower meadow as the final Phase. Come on, make them canon gay but only in a non-canon Ultimate!!!

The Lore Okay. I have to say I'm awash from the revelations in this Fanfest. On one hand I wish they kept the tech stuff secret because what a reveal that would have been in-game - and I'm wondering if they were considering not showing anything because it's not in the trailer at all - but personally speaking...

I love it. This actually invigorated my love for this game a little bit after I lost it for a second following Myths of the Realm. Fuck Eulogia.

Because while I was perfectly fine with this last arc (even though the community is big mad about it for no good reason), a big worry I still had about this game's lore is that we started to become the Main Character of the Universe. It made the world seem so small that things only happen when we go there and they always work out perfectly on our terms. Like the big scary thought I had was that we now visit the other places that are left for us and we know everything better than them. We just found the only remnants of Amaurot and we're the only ones knowing that shards exist and therefore try to travel in between them - stuff like that.

Like I want to meet another of our shards that knows certain integral things about the ancients that we just never found out. Maybe two shards have had shard travel between each other this whole time, we just haven't figured out how to do that yet while they have. They have made their own discoveries about this world, this universe and its history just like we have and they know stuff we just don't while we know stuff they don't.

Even stuff like Allag being the one big civilization of the past got tiring to me - because clearly there were others that they fought against and those people must have had similar technological pursuits even just by seeing what Allag made. So I disagree with people implying that this new tech 'should have been Allagan' or something along those lines - No, it explicitly can't be or this world building turns into more of a joke than Myths of the Realm already made it.There were other people on this world too - and when this expansion is literally called Golden Legacy in Japanese we have to talk about the legacy of this land - and Allag never was here, so who was?

So there being another ancient super civilisation is a great thing to me. Also I just like Science Fantasy. The only way they could make this better for me personally was if they leaned more into modern 'translations/interpretations' of medieval wear instead of just doing 1-to-1 modern wear.

Solution Nine Okay, so here's my prediction. I say the city is a virtual space in that tower. These people, whoever they are (there are already so many good theories out there but that's not what I'm about), are stuck in there after they were put there to protect them from something - that's why it's Solution Nine (I know it's a name from FF9, but it's still the 9th solution) and that's what the Eliminator is for, either keeping them in or something else out. (Btw, that model is sexy as fck. I'm so torn between wanting Valigarmandr weapons and wanting Eliminator weapons)

Now, judging from the fact that the old-looking Tuliyollal-like civilization has clearly settled around the 'modern' structures in Heritage Found it's safe to say that this thing has been here for a while. People are also speculating that the sigil on the Arcadion concept art (banger btw, i'm so excited for what's in there) - which I could see? But while that sigil might be red it looks nothing like the other ones we have seen so far who were all relatively similar to each other - but then again keep in mind that Arcadia is of course a fictional utopia just like Amaurot and Eden so I don't think it's too far fetched to think Ascians could be meddling here once again.

So okay. Here's my wishful thinking in all of this. What if the woman (Who is she?) on top of the Poster is Altima/Deudalaphon (I pray it's the architect one) and she's either gone rogue and decided to help these people to save them from whatever they were scared off (which I want to happen so badly one of these days. I want an Ascian who's ahead of the curve and is already trying to fix things before we get there) - or she's evil and trapped them in there and that's Tural's legacy.

(omg what if that's the thesis. what if we figure out that tural somehow runs on people being trapped in this thing and the people living outside have to grapple with that being their legacy... maybe they do ff16 again but this time in good bc ishikawa is there to actually keep it together.... let me dream for a second okay)

The Diversity of it all Listen. After FF16's "narrative" about discrimination turning out a hot mess I was not expecting anything from YoshiP ever again when it comes to that sort of thing.

But I have to say, the way he clearly addressed "Hey, the way dark skin worked previously was bad and now that we have the chance to fix it we tried our best to address it" was great. Like that's the shit we love to see. (that being said i think you could turn yshtolas skin color back after her time in the sun in dawntrail i haven't forgotten about that yet)

I still think that Dawntrail shouldn't be this close to White Savior stuff and I do expect it to miserably fumble at least a few times - but I guess I have a little bit of hope that maybe it's not going to be as bad as it could be. Which is a low bar, I admit. And the fact they haven't shown us a single Whalaqee has to mean something, right? Maybe, somebody has thought about what they're doing for a second. Maybe.

Honestly, after Myths of the Realm I don't know how likely that is.

Cosmo Explorer No clue. Why did they delay this to Tokyo and then still show absolutely nothing? This is going to be another Island situation where people get crazy cool ideas and it just turns out to be gathering lite on a randomized map.

Honestly, also don't know how I feel about having this be our little interstellar colonization sim in the Expansion about going to Fantasy America to specifically talk about Legacy. But... I guess? Sure?

The art for it was nice though? Even though I thought at first that we were going to build a theme park on the dark side of the moon Ishgard Restoration style - and honestly that's a banger concept, please go ahead and steal that. Also I'm always scared when YoshiP says "you can do this solo but it's meant to be done together" because that's how he described Eureka and Blue Mage and both are definitely NOT what I would call a "solo" experience.

Beastmaster Same thing as above? Why did you not have Sakaguchi announce it in London when he was one of its biggest, most outspoken proponents? Just so Japan has one reveal more, I guess?

The Bozja-like I hope it's Bozja but in Eureka if that makes sense? I like Bozja's fluidity more than Eureka especially as a Solo Player but Eureka has some of the coolest zones in the game and I would like to have more that are designed like that.

Conclusion I probably forgot half of my observations and thoughts, but I will end it here for now - but of course not without a final overall status report!

I'm not going to lie, the Solution Nine stuff has really pushed me back into it - the stuff they showed before was fine to good, but it just seemed a little safe. But now? This could be the coolest thing ever - or it could burst into flames and be the stupidest shit they ever pulled and that's so much more interesting to me than just a cookie cutter expansion about things we knew to expect.

Either way I'm going to be a pretty Piktomant Bunny Boy posing in front of backdrops of rapidly increasing quality - And that's enough to make me pay for another sub.

[purpolmonster]

二哈和他的白猫师尊 2Ha

Title: 二哈和他的白猫师尊 / Èr hā hé tā de bái māo shī zūn / 2Ha / The Husky and His White Cat Shizun Author: 肉包不吃肉 / Meatbun Doesn't Eat Meat

This novel is the very definition of don't judge a book by it's cover, title, and even author name. 2Ha is not fluffy. Although, well, it is fluffy in some instances. And the title is also sort of accurate. And the author name sounds funny and interesting which this story also is. Anyway, if you're confused and intrigued, I just want to say that 2Ha is the most daring, crazy, funny, angsty novel I've ever read. And that, my friends, is why this ranks as the top of my favorite danmei list so far.

2Ha is the story of Mo Ran who dies and leaves his somewhat tyrannical life and is reborn into the past. With his memories still intact, he lives to right the wrongs he thinks he made and vows revenge on his shizun whom he blames is the reason for him growing up into a tyrant. But all is not that simple when he finds out bits and pieces of the truth along the way of what happened to lead him to become a tyrant and that apparently, he's not the only one who got reborn into the past.

Okay, first of all, you've probably noticed by now that there is nothing in the summary about a dog and a cat. The title actually describes Mo Ran being the husky and Chu Wanning, his shizun, being the white cat. It describes Mo Ran's relationship with Chu Wanning as being like an adorable dumb dog with a snobbish, anti-social, somewhat arrogant cat so you can just imagine how that'd be like. (But really, I love them both a lot and think these two are so perfect together).

The plot in this story is craaazy. Like, it's really out of this world. The further you get into it, the more insane it gets. And I love it. The fact that it's crazy is the reason why I was able to push through and finish it even if the second half of this novel at the time I was reading it was only machine translated. As of this writing, this novel has only been translated until Chapter 152, I think. But the story is so intriguing and interesting, hair-raising, and so entertaining that I wanted to finish it to know how it ends.

But it's not for everyone. The themes in this novel is very dark. The translators were kind enough to warn you in every chapter that 2Ha has a lot of violence, murder, suicide, underage sex, rape, explicit sex, drugs, and more. So yes, it's not at all fluffy like the title or book cover makes it out to be.

So why did I even like it? Because it was interesting. The dark side of the story were all necessary. All the warnings there play a big part in this whole story. If you were to separate it from the story, you won't be able to get the complexities of Mo Ran's character and how you feel about him as you read through the entire novel. I've seen a lot of takes how maybe 2Ha can do without that much dark themes but in my opinion, it had to be there and it was important for readers to go through it to better understand and feel for the characters.

Meatbun is a very talented writer. I like the way she made you feel things just through the scenarios and words she puts out. She makes you laugh so hard at the funny scenes, enough that my sister from across the room would stare at me as I read and laughed out loud by myself. She makes you want to pull the two main leads together and bonk their heads or something. She makes you horny lmao and I say this as a compliment because the good sex scenes in here makes you pine after the two leads to just get it on. She twists your heart into making it hurt so bad at the sad scenes that even if I deem myself an emotionally strong person and wouldn't tear up easily over sad movies and stories, I admittedly shed a tear at this one. She made me feel so deeply in love with Mo Ran and Chu Wanning, and even the side characters like Xue Meng, his aunt and uncle, and more. It's like you want to reach down into the novel and save them all yourself so they don't have to suffer anymore.

But don't worry. I don't read novels that don't have a happy ending. So even if this is a bit spoilery, this novel ended on a good note. And I think I've mentioned this in one of my reviews that I like a story where it just twists your soul and your heart and then puts it back again. This is it. This is how 2Ha made me feel.

So do I recommend it? Yes! 2Ha is a favorite and is right up there with TGCF as one of my favorites. It has a crazy yet incredibly written plot that all comes together in the end. But do not push yourself to read this if you don't think you can handle the themes and warnings mentioned above.

Score: 10/10

[boom-bakugou]

‘Earn Your Title’ - Katsuki Bakugou

A/N: i cannot help myself- i’m sorry lmao i hope you all enjoy

Pairings: Pro Hero!Bakugou x F!Reader

Warnings: 18+, spanking, light bondage, cumplay, dirty talk, dom/sub tactics (kinda)

Summary: It’s difficult being the sidekick to the infamous pro hero Ground Zero, it’s even harder trying not to speak back to him.

Word Count: 2.7k

masterlist

“He could’ve gotten away idiot!” Bakugou snapped, veins pulsing from his neck as he slammed his fists on his desk making it wobble.

“It’s this stupid capture support item you made me get!” You retaliated, holding the long, ropey net-like substance up to shake it in his face as if he hadn’t seen it fail in over 5 missions now.

“Well then learn to fucking use it!” His words seethed with anger, the two of you only barely managed to catch the villain because of their own mistakes. When you finally got appointed to be a sidekick you were excited but after dealing with Ground Zero for the past month has been detrimental to your patience, it was like the man never calmed down.

“It’s completely incompatible with my quirk! It’s like if your gauntlets were actually water pistols!” You weren’t backing down this time, you knew you were right, you knew he just wanted to fight to blow off steam after the difficult heist.

“Then learn dipshit.” Bakugou’s volume lowered, but his tone seethed with pique. “Heroes have to make exceptions. You just don’t know how to use it. Earn your title of a hero by being better, now get out of my office.”

Your brows furrowed so far that you felt like you were going to tear your skin in half. Begrudgingly you picked up the support item and headed for the door but Bakugou’s voice stopped you as you tugged the door open in a huff.

“You’re staying late tonight. We’re training.” His voice left no thought for a disagreeing answer, so you didn’t answer at all. Merely slamming the door and heading over to your locker to change out of your hero suit which you were convinced was giving off steam just from how full of wrath you were.

Stupid boss. Stupid capture thingy-majig. Your brain screamed in your head, throwing your clothes haphazardly into the metal locker. Just because you were a sidekick didn’t mean he had to treat you like shit, though you had heard from other heroes that he was usually a short-tempered hot head all of the time. Why’d you have to get stuck with him?

Now clad in a tank top and some leggings to train in, you reluctantly pulled your tangle capture item out from your pile of clothes. You really could not be bothered with having to use this thing again. It was almost like it never listened to you.

You ran the fabric through your fingers, although it looked and felt like a bunch of fine hairs, it was actually a net that when thrown correctly could wrap around things easily to tie villains down. But with your quirk ‘wind flurry’ allowing you to direct wind currents with your eyes and fingers it was difficult to focus where you could direct gusts and where you threw the net. Practically impossible.

Sighing, you wrapped it around your knuckles and slamming your locker door shut with force you didn’t even realise you had been storing up. Walking nonchalantly to the training gym inside Ground Zero’s agency.

“You’re late.” You heard a grumble next to the door as you entered the room startling you a little. Bakugou leaned against the wall, a black tank clung to his chest leaving nothing to your imagination, but your thoughts about being pissed off at him quickly wavered that away.

“Actually, you didn’t set a time.” You composed yourself from the small startle, walking away from him whilst swinging the support item around in a circle. Just as you began to spin the net faster with your quirk, Bakugou’s hand abruptly stopped it moving.

“Watch your fuckin’ tone.” He groused, taking the item from you to inspect more closely. Within a split second he had whipped it along to hit the furthest back wall with a small explosion erupting from his palm to help it go further. It tied easily around some gym equipment before another explosion from rupturing down the fabric helped it untie and zip back into his hand.

“Your problem is multitasking, you’ve got to learn how to let it move with your quirk it was designed that way.” Bakugou mutters, thrusting the item back into your chest that you barely have a chance to catch as it’s tail end whips you in the side of your cheek.

“And how do I do that?” You scoff.

“You practise.” Bakugou once again leans against the wall, arms folded and watching you with a careful eye. “Show me how you use it.”

You roll your eyes when you turn away from him, taking the pose that he did before he immediately stopped you.

“That’s how I did it to work with my quirk, show me how you do it.” His voice was pressing, obviously tired of you trying to get this over and done with when it needs work.

Taking a deep breath, you make your usual stance and activate your quirk and whip the item… and the fine hairs of it flail around in the wind. You slump your body in defeat and turn around to Bakugou.

“See? I told you.”

Bakugou shakes his head and steps behind you, with his chest flush to your back you can feel his breath upon your skin and it almost gives you chills. His course fingers direct your arms in a way that you would usually use your quirk but never with the item.

“Now look-“ He places his head on your shoulder, his hair tickling your neck and you can’t help a small gasp escape your lips as you watch him tentatively. “You have a clear view of where it’s going. Try and get it on that pole there.”

He moves his head away and you can’t help but miss the contact of his hair on your skin, but he doesn’t move from behind you. He uses his large palms to help your shoulders relax and they fall down your back as he helps you stand.

“Act like it’s an extension of your quirk, now try.”

You focus your eye on the pole and use the capture item, flowing freely with your quirk before latching onto the pole. It was less abrupt than how Bakugou used it, probably because his quirk was so much more abrupt from yours, but you hear an amused grunt from him before you flick it back and into your hand.

“Not bad, needs work but you’re getting there.” His voice was still it’s usually gruff self but at least he was smiling for once. You turn to face him and he glances down at you, a smirk clad on his face.

“Didn’t think you were the one for dishing out compliments Bakugou.” You mock, the fine hairs of the support item drifting through your fingers as you spun it around.

“And I thought I told you to watch your fucking mouth.” He barked. Bakugou lifted a finger to your chin, almost closing your mouth to stop a retort. Without even knowing it he’d already snagged the piece from your hands and lowered his arm so he could hold it at his hip.

“You know I don’t know how the hell you think you’re gonna be a hero if you can’t respect the actual ones.” His smirk was menacing, and you could only try to whimper out a response before you felt the crack of the net slap against your ass, eliciting a yelp from you.

“S’what I thought.” The way he shuffled closer to you, making you step back until your back hit against a cable cross, the cold contact of the metal a shock to your now hot skin.

“I told you baby- you’re gonna have to earn that title.” Bakugou’s lips curved into a sneer, terrifying you but you also couldn’t help but feel the warmth against your legs that you tightened your thighs to not think about.

“Bakugou-“ You begin to speak but his fingers slip between your lips, holding your mouth open as he smacks your rear again with the net.

“I think it’s Ground Zero to you, Y/N.” The way he said your name was like it was a slur, not worthy enough to be titled to your hero name.

Drawing his fingers out of your mouth he ensnared both of your wrists, allowing the support net to tie them together before letting it tangle around the upper bar of the cable cross. Your feet were barely touching the ground, Bakugou sauntered over to you like a predator watching his prey, you could tell that he was trying not to at least lick his lips.

Bakugou’s chuckles at your desperation which rumble throughout his chest. He strides closer to you, easily lifting your body to stop the strain on your arms as your legs wrap neatly around his waist. He leans in for a kiss which you gladly follow through with before he teasingly moves back, a smug grin dawning on his face before he dives in to kiss you.

His grip around you wasn’t forceful, or angry; it was filled with lust that translated from his lips to yours. Bakugou grazed his tongue over your bottom lip, begging for entrance and when you didn’t give way, he bucked his hips into your clothed core- drawing a sweet moan from you and a chance for him to allow his tongue to explore your mouth.

“Ba- Ground Zero please.” You stutter in between the hot kisses, your hands gripping desperately to your binds as you wished to tug his hair in fistfuls.

“What was that little girl? You’re gonna have to use your words if you want to become a hero.” Bakugou trailed his mouth down your neck as he spoke, his hot breath tugging your neck closer to his lips for any sort of touch.

“I need you- please touch me I need it so bad.” Your whines made his fingers grip the sides of your waist, knowing that he wanted you badly too.

“I’ve gone so fucking long watching you parade about in that so called skimpy hero suit.” Bakugou lifts your shirt off and tears it at the arm holes. Thank god it was provided by the company. “Hearing you dare to talk back to me. God- I wanted to punish you so fucking bad every time you opened that filthy mouth of yours.”

He follows suit and takes his own shirt off, his abs glistening with sweat pressing against your stomach so sweetly it gives you butterflies.

“I’m going to ruin you- make you sorry for any time you talked back to me, you got that?” His mouth was right next to your ear, making your jaw tremble at the sound of his gruff voice.

“Yes-“ You whimper out before hearing a small crackle and the loud smack as his hand makes contact with your ass.

“Yes what?” He presses, the warmth of his hand raring to smack you once again.

“Yes Ground Zero!” You screams out, the noise reverberating against each wall of the empty gym.

“Better.” He steps back only to pull your leggings and panties down to your ankles, allowing himself to slip between your legs so that you’re completely tied around him. Not that you’d change that as holding him close felt right and took the sweet pain away from your arms.

“So fuckin’ perfect, just like I knew it’d be.” He presses the pads of his fingers down your heat, he watched as your face merely contorted in pleasure at the feeling of him touching you there.

“I’m gonna fuck you so hard you’ll beg for training after work every day.” Bakugou’s face was plastered with an illustrious smirk, watching as his two fingers dipped in and out of you completely glistening with your wetness.

“Ngh- I need you Ground Zero shit-.” You could barely make a cohesive sentence as his thick fingers slowly moved themselves against the spongey part of your cunt. It wasn’t enough, you were begging to feel full.

“Good girl.” Bakugou praised before lowering his sweats and boxers. His cock already leaking with precum just looking at the sight of you, all pretty and helpless for him to ravish. You’d give anything to just be able to touch him and lick all of it off of his cock.

Bakugou rubbed the tip of his cock against your folds, collecting your slick to ready himself. He began with small strokes inside of you before angling himself to fully bottom out. You couldn’t help the silent scream that erupted from your lips as he growled in pleasure at the indecorous noises.

His eyes leaped over your body, taking in every inch of you whining and begging for more and more, his lips jumped to your chest, sucking and biting all of your supple flesh to leave deep purple marks of his desires. You bit your lip but couldn’t stop the moans at the stimulation all over your body. Your arms feel limp as the sensations rang all over the rest of your body.

“Fuck- you’re so fucking beautiful looking so ruined baby.” Bakugou’s hands attempted to ball into fists while still fixated on your hips. You wince in pain but it’s numbed by the vast amount of delectation you were feeling in your stomach.

“I’m-“ You barely begin but he already knows, he can feel it, he can feel every millimetre of you and it’s driving him crazy.

“I know baby- come on my cock like the good girl you are huh?” His cocky tone sent shivers down your spine to the tips of your toes as your climax hit. Your body quaking in his arms. You could feel Bakugou getting closer too, him riding out your euphoria as he reached to gain his. His hips spluttering and the rhythmic beats he once had were long gone as he spurts hot cum inside of you.

It takes a moment before you’re both back to your senses, Bakugou (though out of breath) fixes his sweatpants and stands back between your legs. A chuckle escaping his lips as his fingers push his cum back inside your pussy.

“Suck.” He demands as he raises what was left to your mouth and you happily oblige, your tongue dancing around his digits.

Bakugou then fixes your leggings and lets you down from the support item into his arms, letting you use his tank top as he had ripped yours.

“I still expect you to come into work tomorrow.” Bakugou huffs out what seems to be an almost laugh but you can’t quite tell from your tone, your body too weak to even give a sarcastic, witty retort.

“If training is anything like that then I’ll keep practising.” You whisper, your throat dry as anything after screaming in pleasure for so long.

If that’s how you were going to earn your full hero title, then you weren’t going to give that up.

[jockvillagersonly]

Fic Writer Interview Game

Thanks to @humanlighthouse and @hils79 for the tag!! I would die for you both 😭

✨🐸🌱🐸🌱🐸✨

🐸👉 name: Sierra / Jock, both work!

🐸👉 fandoms: I assume this means for writing?? I write mostly for the various DMBJ fandoms, particularly TLTR and Sha Hai by sheer virtue of the fact that I often write older PingXie. I also have fics up for Sell Your Haunted House and The Imperial Coroner, and I have prompts for Uncanny Counter and Ancient Detective that I’m very excited about!✨

🐸👉 two shots? Ok tbh I made @hils79 Google what this was for me and I THOUGHT I didn’t have any, but I have THREE akwnsksocv, the forehead kisses fic, the soccer college AU, and my SPOP two-shot. Wtf who am I

🐸👉 most popular multi-chapter fic: by hits, it’s the hospital whump/fluff companion piece I wrote for @humanlighthouse, My Heart, In It’s Basket of Bone! By kudos, it’s Autumn Showers, May Flowers 🐸🥰

🐸👉 actual worst part of writing: finding the motivation to work on something. Also, it taps into a lot of my insecurities and old patterns around needing external validation! I’m practicing writing for myself, first and foremost, which helps 🥰

🐸👉 how you choose your titles: I have a doc of ideas from poetry or songs I like! If none feel like the right fit, I’ll scour poetry foundation for ideas. Fun fact: I almost always do this halfway through writing as a procrastination tactic 🙃🙃 @jaecomments once left me a really lovely comment asking about the title for Basket of Bone, which comes from a translated Polish poem I love: read it here!

🐸👉 do you outline? …….uhmmmmm it depends! For longer multi-chapter fics like URSF, OHI, and Supplication, yes. For shorter fics, I will often start, write a few pages, and then bullet point out the direction I want to go in at that point?

🐸👉 ideas you probably won’t get around to, but wouldn’t it be nice? I think it would be really fun to write a modern AU PingXie roommates fic!! I also have a few ideas in my doc I’m not sure I’ll ever actually get to (reporter!Wu Xie, for one). I also really want to write more imperial polycule but I’m not sure I will get around to it? 😭

🐸👉 callouts @ me: PLEASE finish your multi-chapter fics, you fucking walnut

🐸👉 best writing traits: hmm I think because I don’t necessarily have a set style, I’m willing to be very flexible in what I write — I write lots of different POVs, for example. Which has challenged me in new and productive ways as a “writer,” I think!

🐸👉 spicy tangential opinion: uhhhhh…… Oh!! I have absolutely no interest in writing smut that involves Liu Sang, no matter the pairing. I have no idea why — I’ll read it, I have friends who write it, my brain just shuts down around it. Weird right???? (Hey also go read @s1utspeare’s PingPangXieSang if you haven’t already, it killed me)

✨🐸🌱🐸🌱🐸✨

This went around ages ago (ah the joys of semi-hiatus), so I have no clue who to tag?? Uhm @lesbianspacedad, @the-sassiest-trixster, and @ponnearponfarponwhereveryouare, y’all aren’t in DMBJ so I don’t think it hit you! 😂 I also don’t think I saw @elenothar, @gaiahenshin, @undyingsunshine, @greymouser13, @laireshi, @epicwalrus, or @extraordinarilyextreme do this, but if I’m wrong (or you simply don’t want to), no pressure! 🐸🌱

[amaya-chwan]

Therapy Game Restart Discussion: Who is Onodera?

Hello everyone! Hope you are all well~ ❤️💛💜 I've had a headscratcher of an ask/message regarding Onodera, so I figured I'll make it into one big post!

Before I begin this Q&A/discussion post (feel free to comment below if you have any thoughts), I have looked through past chapters to gather the information I will put into this post to support my predictions. Not all chapters are readily available for everyone at the moment as only one volume of TGR is out right now, so I shall put the chapter numbers for your future reference! ⚠️ Also, just a note! These opinions are my personal thoughts, conjectures, and opinions, so please don't think I am saying one idea or speculation is wrong--this is just how I see it, and of course I could very well be wrong! And I also am not fluent in Japanese, so I may have some translation errors!

⚠️ Also, a warning, this will be a long post! Keep reading if you're interested and please let me know your own thoughts!

First, in an earlier ask, I was directed to a translation group that said Onodera is a man. With the help of Google and Google Translate (because I don't understand/speak Spanish), I found that post (dated April this year) and the origin of the picture they used in that post. The image is from Hinohara-sensei's 13th August 2020 tweet here and is also below for reference:

Now, all I can remember from first seeing that image is "Woow, so pretty! A female character? A love rival? A threat? OH it's the infamous director they're all talking about???"

This image was released around the time chapter 8 was released, i.e. the first chapter we see Onodera in full.

Looking at the image again, I can see how Onodera could be seen as a female or a male. Onodera has long hair, yet no visible breasts. There is no evidence of an Adam's apple, but that could just be because of the turtleneck as part of their outfit. Furthermore, in chapter 13, we see a view of Onodera from behind. There are no "womanly curves" visible in this view of Onodera.

After searching some Japanese blogs, some fans also had the same thoughts: no breasts = possible male, the shape of the face etc. Here are the blogs I found: [1] [2] [3] but most of these are from around chapter 8.

Just about the breast argument: there are a lot of different shapes for breasts. I learnt that when working at a department store selling bras during university. It is possible that Onodera is really flat chested or just has very little breast tissue. Not sure if that's getting too technical now, ahah, but what I want to say is that the lack of breasts isn't a definite yes to Onodera being a man.

Hinohara-sensei also has not explicitly stated throughout TGR so far (ch1-13) that Onodera is male or female.

From chapters 8-12, Onodera is always referred to as 院長 (director) by Shizuma and the nurses at the clinic. No gender-specific pronouns have been used in the story nor by any characters to refer to Onodera when speaking so far (that I have read). So confirming Onodera's gender is just misleading at the present moment.

We do find out in chapter 9 that Onodera's first name is 昌 akira. Akira is a gender neutral name in Japan. It is often given to males, but it is not uncommon for females to have this name. Which, I think, is genius on Sensei's part. It leaves us all thinking!

Q: So Amaya-chwan, what do you think Onodera's gender is?

Just for me as I've been reading TGR the past 1.5 years, I see Onodera as a woman as I have been "encouraged" to see Onodera as one by the little subtleties in the story, and Minato sees Onodera as a female, so I probably am viewing Onodera in Minato's POV.

(Please keep reading on for more insights and answers to questions! Really, this post is long! 😅)

In chapter 9, Onodera's older brother, who is also Shizuma's university professor (and his last name is not Onodera), makes small talk with Shizuma regarding the staff at his placement:

Shizuma's professor says: By the way, Shizuma-kun, how've you been!? You haven't been bullied, have you!? // The female team here is scary, right~ You know, Nakajou-kun and I were in the same grade...

So here, I'm made to think Onodera's clinic is pretty much all female, including Onodera too.

Fun fact: His professor uses the suffix -kun for Nakajou-sensei, yet Nakajou-sensei is a female and -kun is commonly used for males these days. But, it is also used for females in very specific situations. I'm not too sure what the situations are, but I have heard them used for females before.

In the same chapter (9), while Shizuma is changing out of his scrubs in the men's locker (?) room, Onodera walks in. He is slightly flustered, and kindly reminds her that she's walked into the men's locker room. Her reaction is "Huh? Ahh..." So here, again, I am made to believe Onodera is female.

While no gender-specific pronouns have been used to address Onodera, Minato and Itsuki have referred to Onodera as a female in chapter 13.

The kanji for "female/woman" is 女. In these two images, Minato refers to Onodera as 上司の女 female superior, and from Minato's story, Itsuki hence calls her 職場の女の人 female from (Shizuma's) workplace. This is the only time Onodera has been referred to as a female.

⚠️ Just a note going forward in this discussion, I will now call Onodera "she/her" as that is what I believe Onodera's gender is at the present moment!

Now, I did get a second ask from an Anon! Here they are below with my responses:

This one is about what's behind Onodera. I think she's a pretty interesting character. I actually think she's a trans woman or a non-binary trans woman. Sensei has been dropping so many hints to that... The name her brother calls her might be her dead name. He complains about her hair and what their father would say. She's designed to have flat breasts, perhaps she's not under hormone therapy, perhaps her "trips" and "days off" have something to do with reassignment surgeries...

She most definitely is an interesting character. I wouldn't say Onodera being transgender is out of the realm of possibility because the story is still ongoing. But regarding her name, I don't know if I'd call it a dead name since it is gender neutral already. Perhaps the kanji for a male Akira name would be different to a female one though?

About the hair comment (ch10), I just thought it was unruly? I honestly didn't think too much of it! What I will add is that the kanji for hair (髪) is used, but the reading is あたま head. Not sure why just yet, so I'll just leave that here as some extra information for the moment.

Not sure what I really think about a) her flat-chestedness and b) her insanely long business trips yet! I figured a) might be a character design, and b) she really is a top-notch veterinarian so she's probably in high demand. But I could be completely off the mark!

Also, I don't know where to add this random bit in from the story, but in chapter 12, we find out that Onodera has been calling one of the staff the wrong name for more than 10 years now. Not sure if this new piece of info affects anything?

But again, that is a very interesting prediction/thought you have about Onodera, and I wouldn't say it's not possible!

She's kind of a female Minato, psychologicallly and in appearance, which brings some challenges. And one more thing that I think hints to that: "I'll make it so your body can never be satisfied by any woman", Minato says to Shizuma. As the last chapter leaves it at that, we don't know exactly what he is talking about. [spoiler?] I haven't seen the Japanese text yet to be sure if he's clear about topping Shizuma.

That was exactly my thought when she was first introduced! That's part of the reason why I think Minato sees her as a threat, especially when he saw her for the first time and was told she is a 美人beautiful person (both in chapter 12). She and Minato definitely share some characteristics, but I find she's a bit more socially-awkward than Minato given her background (Chapter 9 & 10).

For the dialogue, the Japanese lines and the most literal translations I can give are:

今から　静真くんを抱く From now, (I'll) hold/embrace you, Shizuma-kun.

どんな女に出会っても　絶対満足できない体にしてあげる No matter the women you encounter, I will make it so your body definitely cannot be satisfied (by any of them).

Hopefully we'll find out what Minato means by that exactly in the next chapter, which I hope comes to me this week!

But if that's what he's talking about, it's 1. poor Minato being transphobic (besides being biphobic towards his own boyfriend)* 2. poor Minato probably foreshadowing his own fall. If Onodera happens to be a woman with a d**k, she can do whatever Minato thinks a cis man only can do. That's not what will make Shizuma stay by his side. Shizuma will stay by his side because he loves Minato. And that's that. Debunks biphobic myths, debunks transphobic myths. *He's not a bad person, he's got issues

Okay, this is probably as straight-forward as I can say this, but I just want to say that I don't know enough about the issues faced by the LGBTQI+ community. My friends have kindly answered all my questions so far as I don't want to be ignorant or rude when learning more about my friends and the community. I don't want to give off the air that I'm assuming anything since I don't want any misunderstandings. And I am fully aware that I need to educate myself more regarding this!

So about Minato, I'm not completely sure what you mean by number 2. But he definitely has his share of trauma, insecurities, and fears regarding his relationship with Shizuma. Having Onodera as a threat in this story really helps drive Minato's growth. The story is titled Therapy Game Restart, so what I gather from the title is that Minato is going to face another fear/insecurity he has, something deeply-rooted in him, and it's going to get really heavy and complicated, but he will eventually get through it and it will help him heal and grow as a character, and hopefully strengthen his faith in his relationship with Shizuma.

So far, I believe this "fear" is carrying on from +Play More, that Shizuma can be whisked away by a female at any moment.

But yes, Minato has to realise for himself that his and Shizuma's love, relationship, and bond is strong enough for him to not worry about Shizuma leaving him so abruptly. He has to learn to trust in Shizuma more, and TGR is slowly revealing that, especially in chapter 13.

I'll stop here. I have already written long analyses on this series and I think about making them public at some point. But it would be nice to hear from you! Maybe I'm completely wrong in my interpretations! I'm really sorry for being so annoying and maybe using inappropriate language. I really didn't mean to bother you. But I never see anyone making these points. I just want to know if I'm thinking unreasonably...

I love reading different analyses, opinions, story predictions, the whole lot!! So please feel free to ask me or post your own ideas. It's always a welcome thing for me to discuss stories and learn new things! Don't be sorry that you're being a bother or annoying, because it's not a bother at all!

We're all allowed to have our own ideas and opinions about stories, and these ideas will change once something is canon in the story, and ultimately is something we will have to accept too.

So yeah, just my two cents. Thank you for being so patient with my response, dear Anon!

To anyone reading at this point, thank you for reading this far! ❤️💛💜

I shall see you in our next set of takeaways~ As always, stay safe and take care of yourselves and your loved ones! 💜

(2021-05-17: Speedy proofreading is done ahah! And yes, my brain is still so full of 山河令/Word of Honor right now, so I have been VERY distracted! Highly recommend this drama, guys! It's up for free on the official Youku Youtube page! Totally not an endorsement, but I love this drama! AHHHHH!! Gong Jun [Simon] be living on my mind rent free~)

[mrsalwayswrite]

This Night (40s!Bucky Barnes x Hispanic!OFC)

Summary: When she saved a scrawny blond in a back alley, she would never have anticipated the ripple effects it would have. Nor how meeting someone with a pair of baby blue eyes and cocky smirk would draw her in, encouraging her that for one night, to taste revelry like she never had before.

This is my submission for @allaboardthereadingrailroad​ Marvel Diversity Challenge! My prompt was “a little danger never hurt”. 

I am going to admit, I’m super nervous to post this. I’ve never written a person of color before and would be horrified to accidently offend someone. That being said, I also had so much fun writing this piece. I adore 40s Bucky and Steve, so I was excited to finally have the inspiration to write them. 

Few notes:

-All translations are via google and what I can remember from university (if any of my Spanish is wrong, please please please someone tell me and i’ll correct it!)

-I threw in some 40s slang for fun, so that will be in italics.

-In the little research I did (again, someone please correct me if I am wrong), in the 40s there were not many Hispanic or Latino people living in NYC yet. So for my OFC and her family, they would very much stand out. 

Warnings: a few swear words, some angst, sexual tension, topic of racial discrimination and inequality 

Words: 8k (the story kept growing, i’m so sorry)

<gif is from Pinterest>

She clutched the parcel to her chest, trying to avoid the muddy puddles on the sidewalk. Mr. Hendricks would be furious with her if she got any mud on the packaging of the parcel. He always said it reflected his reputation.  

 Weaving through those walking down the busy Brooklyn sidewalk, she could feel the few glares and inaudible comments following in her wake. She tried to ignore it, knowing was not the first nor last time others judged her for her different skin tone. Though she doubted she would ever get used to it. One of her older brothers would try and cheer her up saying the white folks were jealous since they burned when in the sun too long while Spaniards became more beautiful. Without fail, she would smack him but end up laughing along. 

 Peeking at the address scrawled in precise handwriting, she surveyed the street names around. A sinking feeling in her gut confirmed her fear- she had somehow gotten lost. 

“Mierda.” She hissed, turning around in a circle. Not just to try and relocate her whereabouts but on the off chance her mother happened to be behind her to whack her over the head for swearing. 

 Not wanting to be run over by a fellow pedestrian, she stepped off the sidewalk into an alley nearby while she tried to get her bearings. She brushed down the front of her workwear, dark blue, princess style dress with its Peter Pan collar, double pockets and pleated skirt. A glance at her tights showed a couple spots of mud she somehow managed to still get on her even though her kitten heels were still mostly clean. A miracle really. 

 It was only mid-afternoon but Mr. Hendricks hated when she returned late from delivering parcels. He was the best tailor in Brooklyn and practically thrived off that title. He employed her to help keep things organized, the shop looking nice and delivering parcels to their patrons. It was mindless work but that did not bother her. It was a job...and she was lucky to have one. Being from one of the few Hispanic families in the area was not a perk when trying to find work. She knew the only reason she even got this job was she willingly took half the pay he would have given to anyone else, she could sew well, and she was pretty. 

 A crash at the end of the alley drew her attention behind her. There was some hushed talking followed by another sound of something hitting the ground. Hard. 

 Logically, she knew she should walk away. She was already lost. Her mother frequently reminded her to not involve herself in other people's business, it would only get her in trouble. The problem was her curiosity was a near palpable thing, driving her forward, along with her independent streak the size of the Upper Bay. So when she heard what sounded like a smack and another crash, her feet started moving without a second thought. 

 She darted around a half brick wall to find herself at an "L" intersection. And at the end of both alleys, stood a tall man with a face like a bulldog and the sleeves of his shirt rolled up to his elbows, fists at his side. Below him lay a much smaller, blond man who was sprawled out on the dirty ground. The smaller man groaned, rubbing a hand on his jaw. He rolled onto his side, then slowly and painfully rose back onto his feet, his own fists in front of him in a poor imitation of a boxer. 

 "You think you somethin' special, huh?" The larger man jeered, a nasty smirk on his face. He leaned on his back foot, preparing to throw another punch. 

 The smaller man raised his fists but made no other move, prepared to take the hit and most likely go back down. 

 So, she decided to do something stupid. 

 "BILL!!" She cried out, her voice echoing off the brick walls of the alleys. 

 Both men froze, turning to look at her. 

 Tucking the parcel under her arm, she jogged over to the smaller man, uncaring now of the muddy puddles. "There you are, Bill. I've been so worried. You promised to show me where Mrs. Wilcox lives. I tried to find her myself but I got so lost." Ignoring the quizzical look from the blond man, she stood between the two men, meeting the eyes of the larger one. She twirled a strand of her long, black hair around her finger, nerves getting to her but she pressed on. "I'm so sorry for whatever trouble he has caused you. He won't bother you again. We have to go now; our boss will dock our wages if we aren't back soon."

 The man trailed his eyes over her as if looking for a lie tattooed on her skin or dress. Finding nothing of interest, he stared hard at his victim for a long moment. She found herself holding her breath, silently praying her ruse worked. 

 Finally, he rolled his shoulders and unclenched his fists, his thick jowls still tense. "Keep ‘im away from me or next time his ass will end up in the hospital."

 Slowly, she released her breath as she watched the bulldog of a man turn on his heel and stomp away, back down the alley and onto the main sidewalk. 

 "Are you hurt?" She asked, looking over the smaller man. As he dusted off his brown trousers and tan jacket, she was surprised to realize he stood about her height, and probably about her age, in the young twenties. If her guessing was any good. 

 He rubbed his jaw again and winced where an impressive bruise was already growing. "I've had worse." 

 She could not help but smile at his nonchalance. His bright blue eyes met her own honey brown. A timid smile echoed hers, his face so open and expressive. Something about the man she found endearing already. Maybe defending him was not such a stupid action.  

 "All that stuff you said, about lookin' for me and gettin' lost…"

 She huffed a laugh. "I am actually lost. I'm trying to find this address here." She showed him the scrap of paper with the address scribbled on it.

 It took only a glance before he handed the paper back with a smile. "You're not too far. Only three streets away….I... I can take you there if you like."

 "Oh, I'd hate to impose on you."

 "No, it's really fine. Seems you saved me from...well…" He shrugged, sticking his hands in the pockets of his tan jacket. 

 "And... you...don't mind, you know, being seen with me?"

 "No, why?" Eyebrows furrowed and lips pursed slightly, he stared at her like that was the strangest question. 

 It was in that moment she knew, whoever this scrawny man was- he was a good man. The difference in their ethnicity made no difference to him. He was a rarity in her experience with most New Yorkers. 

 Even though it was 1940 and this was supposed to be a land of equal opportunity. 

 It was not. 

 With a shrug and momentarily, awkward silence as they both thought about their own answers to his question, they fell into step with one another as they headed back out of the alley.

 "So, what's your name? Or is it actually Bill?" She spoke up once they hit the sidewalk. 

 "Do I look like a Bill?"

 She squinted her eyes then shook her head giggling. "No, you don't."

 "It's Steve…. Steve Rogers."

 "It's nice to meet you, Steve."

 He directed them down another street. Their shoulders brushed occasionally as they walked, due more to their need to maneuver around puddles and other pedestrians than any sense of intimacy. "You gonna tell me your name or do I have to make one up for you?"

 "Oh! Sorry. It's Elana Morales-Díaz. So, what caused the fight?"

 The tips of his ears and cheeks turned pink as he ducked his head. "He, um, we...we had a disagreement."

 "Obviously. I would hate to know you're friends and beat each other up for fun."

 "My best friend is a boxer. He's tryin’ to teach me some moves…. does that count as beating each other up?"

 She pretended to think about it. "I may let that one slide but it sounds like you might need some new friends."

 "Yeah," he chuckled and peeked over at her. "Know of any openings?"

 "I just might."

 They stood at an intersection waiting to cross the street when they heard a shout from further down the road. Neither paid much attention initially until the shout repeated itself. 

 "STEVE!"

 The blond looked down the road, a smile on his lips. He waved and tugged on Elana to move away from the curb. She followed along, surprised since he told her they needed to cross. 

 A man glided through the pedestrians easily, a few lingering looks thrown his way by some of the women. When he noticed her standing next to Steve, his eyes widened for a brief moment before a lazy smirk appeared on his face and his strut became more pronounced. With boxing gloves dangling over his shoulder, his white shirt and black trousers, he looked like he just walked out of a gym. Especially with the way his dark brown hair ruffled in the breeze, a few strands sticking up like he had run his hands through it a few times. 

 "I leave you for one afternoon and I come back to find you with the prettiest gal in all of New York." 

 Steve rolled his eyes. "You're always at the gym now."

 The man put Steve in a teasing headlock. Only after a flirtatious wink at her, he released the smaller man. "So, you gonna introduce me to this wolfess, Steve?"

 "Ah, right. Elana, this is my best friend, Bucky Barnes. Buck, this is Elana."

 "Nice to meet you." She said, a small smile at their interactions. It reminded her of her brothers.

 The man -Bucky- reached over and took her hand but instead of shaking it, pressed a kiss to her knuckles, maintaining eye contact the whole time. "Pleasure is mine."

 Oh, he was a charmer. The kind her mother warned her about. Then again, her father had the same devilish charisma and Elana liked to remind her mother of that. To which her mother would laugh and say that's why she warned her daughter of those men, she knew from experience. With just a wink and kiss, she would fall madly in love, leave her home and give him five babies before she even knew it. It was always after this statement often said loudly and with feigned annoyance that Elana's father would wrap his arms around his wife, lovingly kiss her temple and remind her how long he had to chase her before she even agreed to go on a date with him. 

 "So how do you guys know each other?" Bucky asked, those blue eyes bouncing between the two of them. 

 Steve coughed, rubbing the back of his neck. It was then Bucky finally seemed to notice the slowly darkening bruise on Steve's jaw. 

 "Steve!" He grabbed his friend's face and glanced over him, concern etched in his movements and expression. "What happened this time, punk?"

 "Nothin'...just a disagreement. I had 'im on the ropes."

 He dropped his hand, running it through his brunet hair. "You gotta stop pickin’ fights, one of these days…" The implications hung heavily in the air. 

 "Ah, Steve…" When he looked over at her, she nodded toward the parcel still in her arms.

 "Oh right! Sorry. Buck, I gotta take her to drop somethin' off."

 Bucky shrugged. "Lead the way, punk."

 "Jerk."

 The three of them quickly crossed the street. Steve, and soon Bucky when he understood what was going on, pointed out markers for her in case she got lost again. In a short time, they arrived at the house, one of the nicer ones in Brooklyn. The boys waited on the sidewalk as Elana walked up to the front door and handed the parcel over with the man's tailored suit. 

 "Where you off to now, doll?" Bucky asked when she approached them. 

 "Oh, I need to get back to the shop. Mr. Hendricks will most likely be upset with how late I am anyway."

 "The tailorin’ shop near Prospect Park?"

 "Yeah." She played with a strand of her hair, trying to hide her nerves.

 "What a coincidence. We were headed that way ourselves, right, Steve?"

 "What?" Steve looked at Bucky, head tilted in confusion. Bucky cuffed him in the back of the head. "Oh, yeah. Yeah. Um, gonna take a nice walk in the park."

 Elana could not help but giggle at the two. With Bucky looking skyward like he was silently praying for patience to deal with his best friend; meanwhile Steve rubbed the back of his head and glared at his best friend. Although she just met them and hardly knew them, she found herself enjoying their presence. Friends were not something she had in great supply...or any supply really. 

 Plus, if she was being honest with herself, she found her gaze drifting to the tall, charming brunet more times than she cared to admit. The butterflies in her stomach did not help the situation. She knew it was foolish. He was attractive and knew it. But when he turned those baby blues on her and winked, she could not help but be drawn to him, like a moth to the flame. 

 "How come we ain't seen you round before? I know I'd remember a dame as beautiful as you round Brooklyn." Bucky said on her left side while Steve walked on her right. Neither one crowded her space. Sometimes one would touch a hand to her back to direct her steps or hold her elbow when she jumped a puddle. It was sweet instead of condescending. 

 She shrugged. "I recently got the job at the tailor shop and I live in Queens."

 They both winced making her laugh. She would never understand this animosity the boroughs had with each other. 

 "Well that explains a lot." Steve muttered. 

 "Hey!" She nudged the blond with her shoulder as she muttered. "Me gusta Queens. Ustedes dos están celosos."

 "What language is that?" Steve asked, curiosity evident. 

 "Spanish."

 "Is that why you have an accent?"

 She nodded, unable to meet their gazes as she answered. "My family moved here from Spain when I was six." Although she had grown up here in New York City, gone to school just like the other kids, she still maintained a slight accent to her words, different from the stereotypical New Yorker's accent. 

 "Say somethin’ else." Bucky smiled down at her. 

 She laughed. "Like what?"

 "I don't know. Anythin’."

 "El cielo es azul. Me duelen los pies con estos tacones. Me he reído más con ustedes dos que en semanas".

 Bucky had almost a dazed look on his face. "That's beautiful."

 "You have no idea what I said."

 "Doesn't matter." The brunet stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Steve can talk in Irish." 

 "Buck…"

 "What?" 

 "I mean, a little." He rubbed the back of his neck. "My ma came from Ireland." 

 Bucky snorted. "You wrote a poem for a girl in the second grade in Irish and read it to her on the playground. I'd say that's more than a little."

 Steve's face was red and jaw dropped as he stared at his friend. "How...how...how do you know that?" He sputtered. "We weren't even friends yet."

 Bucky winked at Elana as he answered. "Gotta be friends with the right people."

 The three of them walked back, talking and laughing. Well it was mostly the boys talking and teasing one another but she enjoyed just listening to their banter. Occasionally they would direct a question to her or she would throw out a remark that had them laughing. 

 She guided them to the back alley of the street front shops. Mr. Hendricks disliked her walking through the front unless she had her work apron on and clean shoes. 

 "Well thank you for helping me and walking me back."

 "It's not a big deal." Steve said. 

 "We'll see you round, yeah? I'd hate to just meet a gorgeous dame like you then never see her again." Bucky threw a wink at her, adjusting the boxing gloves still over his shoulder. 

 She opened her mouth to tease them then stopped. She truly hoped this was not the last time she saw these two. In a spur of the moment decision, she stepped closer to say goodbye. She pressed her cheeks to Steve's first, giving the traditional cheek kiss. She did the same to Bucky, though she had to rise on her toes to reach his face, and she suspected he bent over slightly. 

 "Hasta luego, mis amigos."

 "What was that, doll?"

 She looked from Bucky's smirk to Steve's red face and back. "A traditional goodbye."

 "Mmm…I could get used to that." The boxer teased, nudging his friend who refused to meet her eyes now. 

 She smiled and started to open the back door when Bucky's hand grabbed her forearm, stalling her movements. 

 "Hey, wait." Those baby blue eyes met her honey brown ones. "It's Friday night.  We usually go to the Stork Club for drinks and dancin’. Come with us."

 "Oh, I don't know…"

 "Come on. It'll be great. If it helps, we'll pick you up from your house."

 She could not help the laugh that slipped out at the thought.  "You'd come to Queens... to get me?"

 "It might break my heart to leave my beloved Brooklyn but I'd do it for you, doll."

 "Honestly it'd be dangerous for you to come to my house." 

 "A little danger never hurt." He brushed some of her hair behind her ear, sending shivers down her spine. 

 He was trouble, complete trouble for her...and she knew it. But the longer he stared at her with those pleading eyes and hand now at the nape of her neck, she could feel her resolve crumbling. "I have three brothers and a protective father."

 "They can't be that bad… Come on, please? Steve, help me out!"

 Steve just laughed, raising his hands in surrender. 

 She bit the inside of her cheek thinking about it. Her brother Mateo owed her for when she covered for him when he almost got caught smoking cigarettes behind the apartment building. Tonight, her parents were supposed to visit her eldest brother and his new wife in the Bronx. 

 "Ok…" She whispered. 

 "Yeah?" A beaming grin spread over his face.

 "Ok...I'll meet you there though."

 "Yes!" Bucky bent over and kissed her cheek loudly. "You won't regret it! Nine o'clock!"

 "Nueve. Estaré allí."

 "I still don't know what you said, doll, but I love it."

 She laughed, pushing him away from her. "Go! Before I'm even more late."

 Before they were three steps away, she ducked inside the back of the shop. Hopefully she was able to slip in unnoticed. The shop should be closing soon so Mr. Hendricks would be in his little office room. 

 She leaned against the back door, hands pressed against her cheeks to will away the warmth in them. Thankfully with her brown skin, the blush would be harder to notice. As she stood there, the realization of what she just agreed to finally hit her. An icy fist landed in her gut, drowning the blush away. She had never been to a club before. She had no idea what to wear...or how to act. How was she even going to get there? 

 Underneath the fear though was a determination to go. Why couldn't she have fun for one night, like other young women she regularly saw and envied. Both of those Brooklyn boys seemed nice. Thinking about them brought the flush back to her skin, especially when she thought of the kiss on the cheek from Bucky. He was trouble and fun and charming and devilish and… and she wanted to spend more time with him. And Steve, the sweet, kind, funny guy that he was. She liked them both. But when thinking about those baby blue eyes, insufferable smirk and broad shoulders...her heartbeat sped up and butterflies erupted in her belly. 

 "Oh Dios, ¿qué voy a hacer?" She whispered to herself. 

 *****

 Just after nine o'clock, Elana climbed out of the taxi. She stared up at the sign that brightly screamed ‘Stork Club’. So many people milled about, either walking into the club or chatting, waiting for others in their group. A couple people already looked like they had been hitting the bottles for some time, if the rambunctious yelling and obnoxious laughter said anything. The atmosphere was loud and vibrant with an air of debauchery...and she had not even stepped foot in the door. 

 "Oh Dios, ¿por qué estoy aquí? Estúpido. Tan estúpido. Debería irme. Ni siquiera se darán cuenta." She murmured to herself, her hands wringing the strap on her clutch. Actually, it was not even hers. She "borrowed" it from her mother's closet and prayed that she could return it before her mother noticed.

 "Elana!" 

 At the call of her name, she turned around to see Bucky and Steve crossing the street, dodging a car that decided they were taking too long. 

 "You made it!" Bucky exclaimed, bubbling with excitement. He scanned her over, giving a low whistle. "Damn, doll, you look beautiful."

 "Gracias." She smoothed down her floral-patterned tea dress that reached mid-calf, her kitten heels still on from earlier. Her raven hair hung loosely down her back, unstyled in the typical curls that most women wore. There had been no time to try one of those hair styles and not bring attention to herself before she snuck out. Just to make her even more self-conscious, the cherry red lipstick she wore felt heavy on her lips. Something she only wore on rare occasions. "You fellas clean up nicely."

 Checking over them, they each wore nice suits. Though Steve's looked a size or two too large and the prominent bruise on his cheek ruined the look a bit. Bucky was practically sinful in his suit, showing off his broad shoulders and strong legs, his hair slicked back. Improper thoughts flooded her mind and a heat warmed her cheeks. She had a feeling she would need to go to confession tomorrow. That was tomorrow’s worry though, tonight was about fun.

 "Ready to have the time of your life?" Bucky asked, excitement practically bubbled under his skin. 

 "That's a high standard."

 "Guess I better not disappoint. C'mon!" He grabbed her hand, pulling her towards the crowded, open door. In her sudden fear, she reached back and snagged Steve's hand, dragging him along. She would never admit it but having both of them on either side of her made her feel better. 

 There were several different calls for Bucky, vying for his attention. He just waved or yelled something back but kept her hand in his, pulling them through. She noticed more than one disappointed female face when Bucky passed them. It churned something in her stomach which she tried to ignore. 

 When they finally entered the dance hall, she froze. It was nothing like she imagined and so much better. At the far end was a stage with a large band playing an upbeat song that made her bounce on her toes without realizing it. A large bar area was set up, packed with people already looking for something to wet their throats. Booths and tables lined the walls. Already the hardwood, dance floor looked packed with couples jiving. Mirrors and photographs hung on the walls making the place feel bigger even when it was so crowded. The air smelled of alcohol, sweat and a youthful zeal she had never experienced. 

 It was intoxicating and nerve-wracking. She could not wait to join in. 

 The next thing she noticed when she glanced at all the people...she was the only non-white person there. 

 "Let's get a table." Bucky tugged them along towards an open booth on the right side of the dance floor. 

 She slid in on one side while Steve scooted in on the other. Bucky stood at the end, grinning ear to ear as he seemed to quickly survey the place. 

 "Right." He tossed his suit jacket on the seat next to her then clapped his hands, the sound muffled by the volume from the band nearby. "What kinda drink would you like?"

 "Ah, vino?"

 He nodded and waltzed towards the bar, throwing an arm around the shoulder of one of the men standing there waiting. 

 She turned back to the blond. "You're not drinking?"

 "Nah, too many health issues to make it worth it." 

 She hummed and took note of Steve's fidgeting. "Is this your first time too?"

 He chuckled. "No. I just don't...well, this isn't where I'd prefer to be on a Friday night...but don't tell Bucky... though he probably knows."

 "What would you rather be doing?"

 "Drawin’ or paintin’, maybe playin’ cards but I'm terrible at them."

 "You're an artist?" The realization warmed her heart. This scrawny man with a heart too big for his body and kindness an invisible cloak around him. It made sense somehow. He could look past the ugly and see beauty and somehow capture it. 

 "I don't know if I'd say that...I just enjoy it. It's usually what I end up doin’ when I come here. Doodlin’ on a napkin while Buck dances with every girl he can."

 Her stomach dropped while hearing that, which was stupid. So stupid. She swallowed thickly, hoping Steve did not notice, before she spoke again to distract herself. "Well if you doodle something tonight, can I see it after?"

 "If you like."

 Bucky appeared a minute later with a foamy glass of beer and a glass of red wine. Carefully, he placed them both on the table. "Ready to cut a rug?" He asked, looking at her expectedly. 

 "Um, I don't...I've never danced like this before." She hesitantly admitted. Steve gave her a sympathetic smile like he understood. 

 "Don't matter. I bet you're a swell dancer." He held out his hand for her. When she did not immediately accept his hand, he wiggled his fingers. "C'mon, ain't that hard. I'll teach you."

 With a sigh, she took his hand, his smile beaming as he tugged her out of the booth. She could not help but smile back at his sheer enthusiasm. It was contagious. 

 He led her off to the side of the dance floor. Putting one hand on her lower back and taking the other in his hand, he began demonstrating the steps. Her eyes stayed glued to his feet while he moved, willing her brain to understand and not make a fool of her. 

 "You got this, doll. Told you, you're a natural. Just follow my movement, let me lead."

 So she did and before she knew it, they were flying around the dance floor. 

 Bucky was an amazing dancer and it showed in how he effortlessly led her. A couple times she stumbled or stepped on his toes but he would just grin and encourage her to keep going. The faces of those around them blurred. The music seemed to sink into her blood and with every beat of the drum or clap of the hands from the band, her heartbeat echoed it. It was intoxicating and she had not even had a sip of alcohol. Now she understood why people flocked to these dance halls. There was something freeing in them, losing yourself to the music and movements. For a short time, you could ignore the outside world and all its trials. Here, you could be free. 

 Eventually she begged a break, practically panting from the several songs they danced through. The brightness in her eyes and smile though showed how much fun she was having. Still holding hands, they weaved through the crowd back to their booth where Steve sat with a napkin in front of him, pencil in hand and eyes focused downward. She slid into the booth first, Bucky right behind her. 

 "Have fun?" Steve asked, eyes bouncing between the two before him. 

 "I can't breathe." She giggled out, hand pressed to her chest. Her lungs struggled to fill up properly but instead of installing fear into her, it only made her laugh. 

 Bucky took a long sip of his beer and slung his arm behind Elana, on the back of the booth. "Told you, you'd have fun. You're a great dancer."

 "Only cause I had a great teacher." Taking a sip of her wine, she focused on the quiet artist.  "Did you draw something, Steve?"  

 "Yeah, just a little sketch."

 "Can I see it?"

 He slid the napkin over to her, nerves obvious. Giving him a small, reassuring smile, she flipped the napkin over and felt her heart stop and jaw drop. The pencil sketch was of Bucky and her dancing. His mouth was next to her ear, whispering instructions or flirtatious comments, his hand on her lower back. Her gaze was on his chest but the brilliant smile on her lips gave her away. The sketch was so realistic, it was astounding. It completely captured Bucky's confidence and her nervousness but somehow the opposite emotions only added to the image, bringing a sense of balance and trust between the two dancing partners. 

 "Steve, esto es…. hermoso…. increíble." She breathed out, never taking her eyes off the napkin. When she finally looked up to see him blushing and fiddling with the pencil, she smiled. 

 Bucky had been leaning against her so he could see the sketch also. "That might be your best one yet, pal."

 "Thanks, guys. S'nothing."

 "May I keep it?" She softly asked, eyes tracing the delicate lines and shading.

 The embarrassed blond flapped a hand at her. "Course. It was for you if you wanted it anyway."

 Silently, she reached across and squeezed Steve's hand, unable to convey all the emotions she was feeling. "There's one thing you got wrong."

 "What's that?"

 "I'm not that pretty."

 Both Steve and Bucky chuckled.  

 "Elana," Bucky started, gazing down at her. "He drew you like-"

 "Bucky!" A silky voice interrupted. A young woman stood at the end of their booth. Her blonde hair in perfect curls, bright red lipstick matched the equally bright red dress she wore. Her eyes zeroed in on the handsome brunet at the table, ignoring the other two patrons like they were just wallpaper. "Wanna dance?" 

 The sun-kissed woman could feel Bucky's hesitation. Nudging him gently in the ribs, she nodded towards the interloper. "Go. Have fun. I still need to catch my breath."

 With a nod, he slipped out of the booth and followed the beautiful woman onto the dance floor. The two easily fell into step like they had done this a million times, each movement flawless and smiles on both of their faces. 

 She turned back to Steve, ignoring the churning in her gut. "What's your favorite thing to draw?"

 They talked for a few minutes about art classes he had taken and the few commissioned pieces he had done for local businesses. The passion he spoke with about art, hands flapping and eyes alight, it was impossible not to join in his enthusiasm. 

 The presence of someone standing at the end of the table drew their attention away from the quick sketch of a monkey Steve had drawn on another napkin. This young woman had a haughty expression on her otherwise pretty face, glaring down her nose at Elana. 

 "You shouldn't be here." She stated, venom lacing every word. Hands on her curvy hips, the gold stitching in her emerald dress catching the light from above. 

 "Ruby, we-"

 "No one is talkin’ to you, Steve." She barked then continued glaring at Elana. "I bet you're a real floozy, comin’ in here lookin’ like that. Well news flash, no one wants you or your kind here."

 Tears stung in Elana’s eyes, threatening to fall. She knew this would happen. It always happened. There was always someone to remind her she was not one of them, even if her own eyes could see it. She had hoped tonight would be different. That for once, she could fit in. 

 "I want her here. She's my date."

 The lady -Ruby- spun on her heel so quick, her dress flared out. "Bucky," she crooned, her voice sugary-sweet, so different than a moment ago. "You're lookin' like a real Fred Astaire out there tonight. Let's go-"

 Bucky did not even look her way as he slid back onto the bench, eyes focused on Elana. "You alright there, doll?"

 She nodded numbly, staring at the table. Twirling a strand of hair absent-mindedly around her finger, she tried to force the tears from falling. It was not even the worst insult she had heard hurled at her, but it still cut her to the quick. Every time. 

 "Why don't we head out, yeah? Steve there looks like he's gettin' a little warm and the music ain't so good tonight." Bucky said gently. 

 She nodded again, not trusting herself to speak. 

 "Bucky, stay…" Ruby tried one last time but he leveled a glare at her that made her take a step back. 

 "Take a powder, Ruby, I ain't interested."

 Bucky wrapped his hand around Elana's, entwining their fingers as he slid out of the booth with her right behind him. Without even a backwards glance, he led the three of them out of the dance hall. Elana kept her head down the whole time, unable to meet anyone's eyes for fear of what she would see. 

 The night air was blissfully cool after the heat of the dance hall. It kissed her skin as if trying to help calm her down. At this point, the street was not as busy, everyone mostly inside now. Only a few pedestrians and cars interrupted the quiet scene. 

 "Elana, I'm so sorry."

 "Debería irme. No debería haber venido. Soy tan estúpida." She muttered to herself, not even hearing Bucky's statement. It was a foolish idea to come out. For so long she had tried to fit in, especially as a child. Her mother always told her to be herself and embrace her difference. That was easier said than done. Tonight felt like a taste of it when she was on the dance floor. What things could have been like if everyone was accepted. If where she was from did not matter. She had been so happy dancing with Bucky, this handsome devil who treated her like she was special, holding her hand in front of everyone. Sure, Steve said he danced with a lot of girls but for tonight, she was someone while on his arm. She was someone special. 

 And oh, did she love the feeling of his hand wrapped around hers. Him holding her close as they danced, his warm breath hitting her neck just right. He was trouble, through and through. Her mother would call him a Casanova and tell her to run the other way. Yet she did not want to. He drew something out of her. An almost recklessness. A desire for more. More in life. To experience life with a passion. Both this new feeling and Bucky’s presence were addicting...and she found herself unable to turn away. At least not for tonight. She wanted to revel in it tonight. 

 It was not until a hand cupped her cheek and tilted her head up to meet a pair of worried baby blue eyes that she was jolted from her internal spiral. 

 "Hey, hey. I have no idea what you're sayin' but it don't sound good. Why don't we walk for a bit, mmm? The night's still young."

 Wordlessly, she followed. It was then she noticed Bucky was still holding her hand, palms flat against one another's. That realization drew a small smile on her lips. On her other side walked Steve, hands in his pockets but a genuine smile on his face when he caught her eye. Even after all this, these two Brooklyn boys wanted to be with her. With that in mind, she shoved her despair and pain away. Let tomorrow bring what worries that came with it. Tonight she wanted to be reckless without fear of the consequences. Tonight was supposed to be fun.  

 "Can't believe Ruby would say that. Always thought she was a nice dame." The brunet mused, slipping his suit jacket back on before taking Elana's hand once again.

 "She only showed what she wanted you to see, Buck."

 "Dance with a girl a couple times and she thinks you owe her or somethin'."

 The blond quirked an eyebrow at his friend.  "Was it only dancin'?"

 "What you gettin' at, Rogers?"

 "You ditched some other girl for her once before."

 His head swiveled to stare at the smaller man in shock. "I did?"

 Elana spoke up. "Sounds like you have quite the selection of dance partners to choose from."

 Steve snorted. "Guy has been doll-dizzy since he was twelve."

 "What can I say? I appreciate fine art." Bucky said with a self-satisfied grin.

 "Don't usually lock lips with paintings or statues…"

 "You know what, Rogers!"

 Elana laughed as Bucky let go of her hand to race around her and put Steve in a headlock. The two pretended to box for a couple minutes, grins on both their faces. When finished, the champion boxer slid up to her, a rakish smile teasing his lips as he claimed her hand back.

 "Well if those gals are fine art, you sweetheart, are a masterpiece." He twirled her around once, making her dress flare out around her legs. "Have I told you yet how beautiful you look tonight?"

 "Yes, Bucky."

 "Good, I'd hate for you to forget." He winked and the trio started walking again. 

 "Oh, here." Steve suddenly said, fishing something out of his pocket. He held out his hand almost shyly.  

 She took the offered item to see it was the napkin with the sketch on it. "Oh, Steve. Muchas gracias." She leaned over and pressed a kiss to his cheek, leaving a red stain behind. "Oops."

 "Here." Bucky tossed over a handkerchief to Steve. 

 She glanced at the napkin one more time before reverently placing it in her clutch. She already knew where she was going to put this in her room so she would always remember this night.

 "Oh drat." Steve said after glancing at his watch. "It's almost eleven. I have class early tomorrow."

 "Go on, punk. I'll look after her."

 Elana hugged Steve and was thrilled when he squeezed her back just as tightly. "I'm so happy to have met you."

 "This isn't goodbye, right?"

 "I hope not. You have more artwork to show me."

 He blushed yet nodded before giving Bucky a quick hug. 

 "Night, Steve."

 "Night, jerk."

 Together, they watched Steve walk down the sidewalk, wave back at them then disappear down the next street. 

 "Wanna keep walkin'?"

 She nodded. She knew she should go home. It was getting late and she still had to get back to Queens. Yet walking side by side with this man whom she had only met several hours ago, she found the idea abhorrent. Glancing up at the night sky, only a couple of the stars were visible through the smoke, clouds and street lamps. They were lovely though, a reminder that there were greater things out there, one just had to look for them. At least, that is what her father always said. 

 "Hey," Bucky's voice pulled her attention back, "I never got to say it earlier but thanks...for havin’ Steve's back earlier today. Punk doesn't know when to quit."

 "I'm glad he got in that fight...is that odd? If he didn't, I wouldn’t have met either one of you."

 "Alright, this ONE time I'm glad he got in a fight. Though, we probably would have ran into each other eventually."

 They walked in comfortable silence for a couple minutes. Two cars passed them separately and only a handful of people walked their way. Otherwise it almost felt like they were alone. It was peaceful, still holding hands and wandering the streets of Brooklyn.  

 "Y'know, I was kinda hopin' we'd get at least one slow song at the dance hall."

 "Me too." She confessed. 

 "Well, we should!" An idea sparked in his eyes. "Wait here." He moved over to one of the parked cars near them. He tried to open it but it was locked so he moved to the next one. This one opened without hesitation and he slid in. The whole time Elana switched between watching Bucky and scanning the streets for someone to yell at them. What was he thinking? Suddenly music came on, drifting from the radio through the open passenger door. 

 Bucky stood there, leaning against the car with the biggest grin on his smug face. "Who needs a dance hall?"

 She laughed, understanding what he had done. "We’re going to get in trouble."

 "No, we ain't. C'mon."

 "Oh, Dios mío, yes we are!" 

 "Dance with me." He cooed, standing before her looking like an Adonis. 

 With that lazy smirk and enthralling blue eyes staring down at her, refusal was not an option. The words died on her tongue as she stared up at him. The music was slow, a singer crooning about his love. The moment felt like something from a fairytale story her mother would tell her as a little girl. She knew she should go home. Stop this heat that seared through her when she found herself caught in his eyes. Stop the butterflies in her stomach when around him. Stop the way she melted under his touch, his hands always so gentle. 

 But she wanted this. Right now. To pretend this was her reality. To dance with her prince under the stars. That love did not care about the differences in their skin tones. For when the sun rose and this dream faded, reality would seep back in. Plus, he was a charmer. Doll-dizzy. She would not keep his attention past this night. 

 For now though, she could pretend. Enjoy the night in a way she never had before. 

 He placed her hands behind his neck and his on her hips. Standing there under the streetlight and distant starlight, they danced, swaying back and forth. Her head landed on his chest, feeling his heartbeat beneath it. So steady and soothing. The world faded away around them, the only things that mattered was their dancing and the music. It wrapped around them like a warm, thick blanket. Enveloping them in a sense of security and vitality. One of his hands slowly traced her spine leaving a trail of fire behind. His cheek pressed against the top of her head. She felt safe...and wanted. A heady feeling that she could sense herself beginning to crave even more. Her hand tangled in the hair, her fingers lightly scraping the back of his neck. 

 "Say something in Spanish." He whispered, his lips against her scalp. 

 "Gracias por esto ... todo esto. Ha sido la mejor noche de mi vida".

 She looked back up at him, hoping to convey without words what she said. As she lifted her head up, their eyes locked. Tension filled the empty space around them, pulling them closer. For a split second, his eyes drifted to her lips and back up. Her heartbeat began racing anew. Slowly, as if waiting for her to turn away, his head tilted towards hers, his hands gripping her just a little tighter. His breath fanned across her face, warming her inside and out. She swore her heart was going to beat out of her chest. His nose brushed hers, an almost timid action that drew a smile from her. He chuckled silently then somehow pulled her even closer. She closed her eyes, a gasp escaping her when she felt the faintest touch of his lips on the corner of her mouth. 

 "Hey! Hey, you kids! What ya doin’ with my car?!" 

 All the tension evaporated like rain drops under the scorching sun. 

 "Shit...c'mon!" He grabbed her hand and started running away. Holding on tight, she ran next to him, as well as she could while wearing heels. The yells of the car's owner soon a distant sound behind them. 

 Finally, they stopped two streets later. He let go of her hand, running his hands through his hair and pacing. She leaned against the brick wall, hand over her mouth, giggles spilling forth between gasps of air. Never in her life had she done anything like this. She closed her eyes as the giggles turned into full-body laughter. One hand covered her mouth and the other wrapped around her own waist to try and contain the sound. This night was nothing like she expected but it only seemed to get better and better. This newfound revelry of youthful zeal, this silly recklessness...she wanted more and more of it. 

 When the laughter dissolved into small chuckles, she wiped her eyes as she opened them, hoping her make-up had not smudged too much. Not that she particularly cared in the moment.

 What she saw standing before her killed the laughter on her tongue. 

 Bucky stood just at arm's length, staring at her like she was the stars in the heavens. 

 In a single step, he crowded her against the brick wall. "Elana…" he growled, voice low, and it might have been the most exhilarating sound she had ever heard. One of his hands cupped the back of her head, as he lowered his lips to hers. The kiss was gentle, their lips just pressed together. A soft pressure that made her melt into his arms. 

 He leaned back to press his forehead against hers. His breath just as shaky as hers, both still breathing hard from their run. 

 "That was my first kiss." She blurted out, immediately regretting the words once they escaped. 

 He leaned back to look her in the eye. "Really?"

 She shrugged nervously. "Not many fellas lining up to kiss a girl like me."

 "Their loss, doll face." He smirked, running a thumb over her bottom lip. "May I have the honor of your second kiss ever?"

 She giggled and nodded. 

 This time when their lips touched, it felt like more. The first was like licking the spoon used after mixing cookie dough. A taste of what was to come. The second kiss was eating warm cookies right out of the oven and practically ascending to heaven. 

 His lips slanted over hers perfectly, as if they were formed just for her. Their mouths moved in tandem, picking up speed. No longer were the kisses sweet and gentle. His tongue traced her bottom lip and she willingly opened her mouth to receive it like a present. These kisses were all-consuming and fiery. It was as if his touch seared into her soul, leaving an imprint there for all eternity. 

 She knew right away when she met Bucky Barnes, he was trouble. He was the kind of man her mother warned her about. The kind to sweep her off her feet and make her forget the world around her. He was kind, charming and so full of life. Yet she knew even as she was wrapped in his arms, lips pressed against his, that there was one truth that would haunt her. Even if she ignored it for now. That truth would never leave. So she overlooked it, sinking deeper and deeper into his kisses and embrace. Drowning herself in him. With her back pressed against the wall, her hands tangled in his hair and mouths devouring one another, she had never felt more alive. 

 Tonight, she would choose the fire he poured into her. Tonight, she wanted to enjoy life without fear. Tonight, she wanted to pretend that this night would never end. To thrive in this feeling of passion and life, that nothing could go wrong. 

 For the truth was one day, he was bound to break her heart.

[snarktheater]

Hey, d'you have any French book recs? I'm trying to work on my French, and rn I have downloaded one of my favourite book series' French translations, but I figured maybe books already written in French might work better? Also have you read the Ranger's Apprentice series? 1/2

RA's def flawed - the books' narration does like to point bright arrows at the protagonists' intelligence, and the last few books def have the tone of 'old white man trying to write feminism', although at least he's trying? - and it's aimed more to the younger side of YA, but it is still a very fun series, and I can ignore the flaws fairly easily, at least partly due to nostalgia? This rather long lol but I'm wordy.

I'll start with the second question: no, although every time the series is brought up I have to check the French title and go "oh, right, I've seen these books in stores". But I've never purchased or read them. It sounds like something I probably would have enjoyed as a teen but I just missed the mark, and these days I'm trying to drown myself in queer books, so that probably isn't happening.

As for your first question, geez, I haven’t read a French book in years, so this is gonna skew middle grade/YA, though that may not be so bad if the point is to learn the language. I will also say that as a result, these may read a little outdated.

I'll put it under a cut, even if Tumblr has become really bad with correctly displaying read mores. Sorry, mobile crowd.

It's also likely that old readers of the blog will have seen me talk about most of these. I don't feel like going through old posts.

One last thing: while I was curating this list I took the time to make a Goodreads shelf to keep track of those.

The Ewilan books by Pierre Bottero

(It's a testament to how long ago I read these books that these are not the covers of the edition I own, and I can't even find those on Google. I'm settling for a more recent cover anyway since it'll make it easier to find them, presumably)

There are at least three trilogies (that I know of) set in the same world.

The first trilogy is essentially an isekai (so, French girl lands in parallel fantasy world by accident) with elements of chosen one trope, though I find the execution makes it worth the while anyway.

The second trilogy is a direct sequel, so same protagonist but new threat, and the world gets expanded.

The third one is centered around a supporting characters from the previous books, and the first couple of books in it are more her backstory than a continuation, though the third one concludes both that trilogy and advances the story of the other books as well.

Notably these books have a really fun magic system where the characters "draw" things into existence. It's just stuck with me for some reason.

A bunch of stuff by Erik L'Homme

I have read a lot of this man's books, starting with Le Livre des Etoiles.

They also skew towards the young end of YA, arguably middle grade, I never bothered to figure out where to draw the line. They're coincidentally also using the premise of a parallel world to our own (and yes, connected to France again, the French are just as susceptible of writing about their homeland), but interestingly are set from the point of view of characters native to the parallel world.

It also has a very unique magic system, this one based on a mix of a runic alphabet and sort-of poetry. I'll also say specifically for these books that the characters stuck with me way more than others on this list, which is worth mentioning.

This trilogy is my favorite by Erik L'Homme, but I'll also mention Les Maîtres des brisants, which is a fantasy space opera with a pirate steampunk(?) vibe. I think it's steampunk. I could be mistaken. But it's in that vein. It's also middle grade, in my opinion not as good, but it could just be that it came out when I was older.

Another one is Phaenomen, which was a deliberate attempt at skewing older (though still YA). This one is set in our (then-)modern world and centers a group of teens who happen to have supernatural powers. I guess the best way to describe it is a superhero thriller? If you take "superhero" in the sense of "people with individualized powers", since they don't really do a lot of heroing.

...I really need to brush up on genre terminology, don't I.

The Ji series by Pierre Grimbert

This one is actually adult fantasy, though it definitely falls under "probably outdated". It is very straight, for starters, and I'd have to give it another read to give a more critical reading of how it handles race (it attempts to do it, and is well meaning, but I'm not sure it survives the test of time & scrutiny, basically).

If I haven't lost you already, the premise is this: a few generations ago, a weird man named Nol gathered emissaries from each nation of the world and took them to a trip to the titular Ji island. Nobody knows what went down here, but now in the present day, someone is trying to kill off all descendants from those emissaries, who are as a result forced to team up and figure out what's going on.

I'm not going to spoil past that, though I will say it has (surprise) a really unique magic system! I guess you can start to piece together what my younger self was interested in. Which, admittedly, I still am.

Once again, this one also has a strong cast of characters, helped by rich world building and the premise forcing the characters to come from many different cultures (though, again, I can't vouch for the handling of race because it's been too long).

The first series is complete by itself, though it has two sequel series as well, each focusing on the next generation in these families. Because yes, of course they all pair up and have kids. Like I said: very straight.

A whole lot of books by Jean-Louis Fetjaine

OFetjaine is a historian, and I guess he's really interested in Arthurian mythos especially, because he loves it so much he's written two separate high fantasy retellings of them! I'm not criticizing, mind you, we all need a hobby.

The former, the Elves trilogy (pictures above) is very traditional high fantasy. Elves, dwarves, orcs, a world which is definitely fictionalized with a pan-Celtic vibe to it. The holy grail and excalibur are around, but they're relics possessed by the elves and dwarves with very different powers than usual. Et cetera.

Fetjaine also really loves his elves (as the titles might imply), and while they're not exactly Tolkien elves, there's a similar vibe to them. If you like Tolkien and his elf boner, you'll probably like this too. And conversely, if that turns you off, these books probably also won't work for you.

This series also has a prequel trilogy, centered around the backstory of one of the main characters. I...honestly don't remember too much about it, but I liked it, so, there you go, I guess.

I said Fetjaine did it twice. The other series is the Merlin duology, which, as the title implies, is a retelling of Merlin's story. Note that Merlin is also in the other trilogy, but it's a different Merlin; like I said, completely different continuities and stories.

This one is historical fantasy, so it's set in actual Great Britain, and Fetjaine attempts to connect Arthur to a "real" historical figure...but, you know, Merlin is also half-elf and elves totally exist in Brocéliande, so, you know. History.

Okay, that's probably enough fantasy, let me give some classics too.

L'Arbre des possibles et autres histoires - Bernard Werber

Bernard Werber is a pretty seminal author of French sci-fi and I should probably be embarrassed that the only book of his that I read was for school, but, it is a really good one, so I'll include it anyway.

It's a novella collection, and when I say "sci-fi" I want to make it clear that it's very old school science fiction. It's more Frankenstein or Black Mirror than Star Trek, what we in French call the anticipation genre of science fiction: you take one piece of technology or cultural norm and project it into the future.

It has a pretty wide range of topics and tones, so it's bound to have some better than others. My personal faves were Du pain et des jeux, where football (non-American) has evolved into basically a wargame, and Tel maître, tel lion, where any animal is considered acceptable as a pet, no matter how absurd it is to keep as a pet. They're both on a comedic end, but there's more heartfelt stuff too.

L'Ecume des Jours - Boris Vian

(no cover because I can't find the one I have, and the ones I find are ugly)

This book is surrealist. Like, literally a part of the surrealist movement. It features things such as a lilypad growing inside a woman's lungs (and, as you well know, lilypads double in size every day, wink wink), the protagonist's apartment becoming larger and smaller to go with his mood and current financial situation, and more that I can't even recall at the moment because remembering this book is like trying to remember having an aneurysm.

It is also really, really fun and touching. Oh, and it has a pretty solid movie adaptation, starring Audrey Tautou, who I think an international audience would probably recognize from Amelie or the Da Vinci Code movie.

I don't really know what else to say. It's a really cool read!

Le Roi se meurt - Eugène Ionesco

Ionesco is somewhat famous worldwide so I wasn't even sure to include him here. He's a playwright who wrote in the "Theater of the Absurd" movement, and this play is part of that.

The premise of this play is that the King (of an unnamed land) is dying, and the land is dying with him. I don't really know what else to say. It's theater of the absurd. It kind of has to be experienced (the published version works fine, btw, no need to track down an actual performance, in my humble opinion).

The Plague - Albert Camus

You've probably heard of this one, and if you haven't, let me tell you about a guy called Carlos Maza

I'm honestly more including this book out of a sense of duty. The other three are books I genuinely liked and happen to be classics. This book was an awful read. But, um. It's kind of relevant now in a way it wasn't (or didn't feel, anyway) back in 2008 or 2009, when I read it. And I don't just mean because of our own plague, since Camus's plague is pretty famously an allegory for fascism, which my teenage self sneered at, and my adult self really regrets every feeling that way.

Okay, finally, some more lighthearted stuff, we gotta talk about the Belgian and French art of bande dessinée. How is it different from comic books or manga? Functionally, it isn't. It really comes down more to what gets published in the Belgian-French industry compared to the American comics industry, which is dominated by superheroes, or the Japanese manga industry, which, while I'm less familiar with it, I know has some big genre trends as well that are completely separate.

The Lanfeust series - Arleston and Tarquin

This is a YA mega-series, and I can't recommend all of it because I've lost track of the franchise's growth. Also note that I say "YA", but in this case it means something very different from an American understanding of YA. These books are pretty full of sex.

No, when I say YA I mean it has that level of maturity, for better or worse. The original series (Lanfeust de Troy) is high fantasy in a world where everyone has an individual magical ability but two characters find out they're gifted with an absolute power to make anything happen, and while it gets dark at times, it's still very lighthearted throughout, and the humor is...well, I think it's best described as teen boy humor. And it has a tendency to objectify its female characters, as you'll quickly parse out from the one cover I used here or if you browse more covers.

But still, it holds a special place in my heart, I guess. And on my shelves.

The sequel series, Lanfeust des Etoiles, turns it into a space opera, and goes a little overboard with the pop culture reference at times, though overall still maintains that balance of serious/at times dark story and lighthearted comedy.

After that the franchise is utter chaos to me, and I've lost track. I know there was another sequel series, which I dropped partway through, and a spinoff that retold part of the original series from the PoV of the main love interest (in the period of time she spent away from the main group). There was a comedy spin-off about the troll species unique to this world, a prequel series, probably more I don't even know exist.

Les Démons d'Alexia

Something I can probably be a little less ashamed of including here.

Some backstory here. The Editions Dupuis are a giant of the Belgian bande dessinée industry, and for many, many years I was subscribed to their weekly magazine. That magazine was (mostly) made up of excerpts from the various books that the éditions were publishing at the time; those that were made of comic strips would usually get a couple pages of individual scripts, while the ongoing narratives got cut into episodes that were a few pages long (out of a typical 48 page count for a single BD album). Among those were this series.

For the first few volumes, I wasn't super into this series, probably because I was a little too young and smack dab in the middle of my "trying to be one of the boys" phase. But around book 3 I got really invested, to the point where I own the second half of the series because I had canceled by subscription by then but still wanted to know more.

Alexia is an exorcist with unusual talents, but little control, who's introduced to a group that specializes in researching paranormal phenomena, solving cases that involve the paranormal, that kinda stuff.

As a result of the premise, the series has a pretty slow start since it has to build up mystery around the source of Alexia's powers, but once it gets going and we get to what is essentially the series' main conflict, it gets really interesting.

Plus, witches. I'm a simple gay who likes strong protagonists and witches.

Murena

There was a point where my mtyhology nerdery led me to look for more stuff about the historical cultures that created them, and so I'd be super into stuff set in ancient Rome (I'd say "or Greece or Egypt" but let's face it, it was almost always Rome).

Murena is a series set just before the start of Emperor Nero's rule. You know, the one who was emperor when Rome burned, and according to urban legend either caused the fire or played the fiddle while it did (note: "fiddle" is a very English saying, it's usually the lyre in other languages). He probably didn't, it probably was propaganda, but he was a) a Roman Emperor, none of whom were particularly stellar guys and b) mean to Christians, who eventually got to rewrite history. So he's got a bad rep.

The series goes for a very historical take on events, albeit fictionalized (the protagonist and main PoV, the titular Lucius Murena, is himself fictional) and attempts to humanize the people involved in those events. Each book also includes some of the sources used to justify how events and characters are depicted, which is a nice touch.

It's also divided in subseries called "cycles" (books 1-4, 5-8 and the ongoing one starts at 9). I stopped after 9, though I think it's mostly a case of not going to bookstores often anymore. Plus it took four years between 9 and 10, and again between 10 and 11. But the first eight books made for a pretty solid story that honestly felt somewhat concluded as is, so it's a good place to start.

[ojcobsessed]

Oliver Jackson-Cohen, on Bly Manor and Other Things That Haunt Him

by Diana Colcer for Cosmopolitan Romania, 24 October 2020

Energetic, suave, and anchored in the reality of the problems around us, Oliver Jackson-Cohen is part of a generation of actors looking for something else, something that will remain imprinted in the collective memory. I talked about this with the actor you know from The Haunting - by the way, the latest season, The Haunting of Bly Manor, now on Netflix, is the ideal choice for a scary night, if you want to spend Halloween at home this year. Let's see what Oliver Jackson-Cohen has to say about Bly Manor and other things that haunt him.

"Why choose a role that's safe when you can take risks?" This is the question that came to my mind as I was documenting the interview with Oliver Jackson-Cohen. Because that's what I was gathering from the things we know about him. You first saw Oliver as Luke in The Haunting of Hill House - and now, just in time for Halloween, you can see him again alongside Victoria Pedretti in the even scarier second season, The Haunting of Bly Manor. In this adaptation of the short ghost story The Turn of the Screw by Henry James, Oliver Jackson-Cohen plays the charming and manipulative Peter Quint, a character who hides many scary secrets and… I won't give away more!

So you understand what I'm talking about: Oliver is used to playing characters haunted both by their own inner conflicts (PTSD due to childhood traumas, drug addiction, etc.) and, well, ghosts. And the answer to the question at the beginning of the text, which I did not ask out loud, was given to me while I was talking to him. Born in London, Oliver, the son of fashion designer Betty Jackson, has dedicated his entire career to a different philosophy of acting, starting from the premise that fear makes you grow, develop and get out of your comfort zone.

And that's exactly how most of his roles are. After the BBC drama Larkrise to Candleford, he starred in the Emmy Award-nominated mini-series World Without End, then in shows such as Dracula and Man in an Orange Shirt. In real life, when he "strips off" his characters, Oliver is a guy oozing charisma and sex appeal: he’s 1.91m tall and has a pair of blue eyes in which you can get really lost, an extremely attractive and a style of being (and, let’s face it, dressing) extremely cool. 

So, he’s one to watch, and, as such, we invite you to read the interview he gave us exclusively for Cosmopolitan Romania, after which we found out spectacular details about the unseen parts of horror, fashion, lifestyle and what Oliver Jackson-Cohen has something to say about Bly Manor and other things that haunt him.

What made you determined, at only 6 years old, to become an actor? Simple! I saw Home Alone at the movies and suddenly I wanted to be Kevin McAllister. I just couldn't believe a child was appearing in a movie. I remember my father explaining to me that he was an actor and then I said to myself, "Well, I'll do all that, too."

Many people who discover their dream at such a young age change their minds later. How did you stay in acting?

Looking back, it was probably a stupid thought [process]. But I became fascinated by how you can disappear into another world and how you can become whoever you want. I still think that these things are what kept up my passion for acting. I love the whole process behind this job and the way you translate into reality something that is not, in fact, real. It's also been about luck, I admit - that people pay me to do that, and that's how I make a living.

You appeared in the first season of The Haunting of Hill House as Luke Crain. I was impressed with how you managed to get Luke away from the typical drug addict stereotype. How did you avoid this cliché? I have seen many portrayals of drug addicts over the years and I wanted to show what the person behind the addiction is like, the one who is not defined by this addiction. I think that's an extremely important thing. All over the world, people are struggling with drug addiction and, most of the time, they are excluded and marginalised because of this, but also because they are seen only in this way, as addicts. I didn't intend to do this with Luke. I felt that it was essential for the public to see the man in him, to see that he is someone who is really shaken inside, someone who has lost control of what is happening to him, but who is always trying to control his addiction. 

As a society, we usually condemn or shun such people. We need more empathy in these cases, and these people need to receive the attention shown primarily to them, not to the addiction they suffer from.

When your work is so rigorous, so emotional, I imagine it consumes you a lot to play a character who has struggled with addictions all his life. How do you detach yourself from this intensity? I can't tell you exactly. I don't think you can, to be honest. For the series The Haunting… the filming was long and stressful for all the actors, but also for the crew. I think you have to gradually detach yourself from the story, as much as you can, when you get home, but at the same time, you have to stay in the character's shoes, because the next day you return to the set for a new round of filming. It was a demanding experience, but it was worth it.

Is there anything you wish you’d known before you started working a horror TV show? Or about a series with an intense family drama? Know that it's not that scary when you're filming. Not at all. I started working from the pre-production phase and I knew it was going to be a ghost series… and, initially, I had the impression that there was always “someone” in my Atlanta apartment. But from the moment you get on set, you realise that the series about ghosts is just another job. The coolest thing when you are part of a horror series is when you realise, in the end, that you can watch it [later] without any problems, because all the tension and panic are built up in the editing process.

I know you're a big fan of the horror genre in general. Is it an area you want to explore further? I think so. But I wouldn't say that I intended, from the beginning, specifically, to explore any certain genre. Everything is, in fact, in the characters. Always. If it's an interesting role, I definitely want it. But what I find incredible about this genre is that the dose of horror is often a metaphor for other elements of our lives. But when horror is done properly, it can affect us incredibly, which is true.

You're back to haunt us again in the second season of the Netflix anthology series, this time called The Haunting of Bly Manor. What can you tell me about the new character you play? I'm afraid I don't want to reveal too much and I'd rather you watch the show and form your own impression. All I can say is that the new series, Bly Manor, is completely different from the first, which I like. My current character, a young man named Peter, is the polar opposite of Luke, so for me, as an actor, he was wonderful. Ah, also don’t even try to watch this season at night, alone at home, because the plot is really creepy!

About The Invisible Man, another classic monster comeback, in which you play alongside Elisabeth Moss (The Handmaid's Tale), what can you tell me? The film debates the notion of ownership of a person (editor’s note: Jackson-Cohen's character is a sociopath obsessed with control, and we don't know if he terrorises his ex-girlfriend as a ghost or if he actually staged his death). I look forward to seeing how this film will be received by the public, because Leigh Whannell is an incredible screenwriter and director. He wrote a fresh story, which I find brilliant, which follows the Invisible Man in the context of connections with other characters, but also with real people. It's a very clever movie.

How would you best describe yourself using the title of a movie?

Hm… The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, the classic directed by Sergio Leone in 1966.

Are you into fashion? Yes, I really am. I was raised by my parents who worked in the fashion industry, which influenced me quite a lot over the years.

Do you wear high-fashion pieces in everyday life? Why not?!

Your mother is the designer Betty Jackson. Has he ever given you advice on clothing style?

I don't know if she gave me style advice in the true sense of the word, but it's great to talk to her about style and clothes. Her belief has always been one like "Wear something that makes you feel good,” so I adopted this perspective as well. She is an incredible woman, with a good eye for fashion, so she often helps me.

You divide your life between London and Los Angeles. How do men groom themselves in the two cities? Have you noticed different approaches?

Probably. LA is a more eccentric place in terms of style and fashion, with more pressure to that end, at least from what I've noticed. In Los Angeles, it's more important to look good physically. In London, on the other hand, it seems more important to combine clothes and accessories in a cool and smart way.

How do you stay in shape?

I honestly don’t care. I only exercise when I have to, and when I don't have to, I eat everything I can. I go to the gym if I notice that my weight is getting out of control.

What do you like to do in your free time?

To be the laziest person. Seriously. I would love to count all the hours I’ve spent sleeping or lazing around!

[cheesyficwriter]

Fic Writer Interview

Thanks to @be11atrixthestrange @rosequartzstarswrites and @adenei for the tags!

Name: cheesyficwriter

Fandoms I write for: Harry Potter! Mostly Romione content, but I’ve started dabbling into Harry/Ron brotp and Hinny as well!

Two-shot: I’ve yet to write one of these!

Most popular multichapter: The fic I probably get asked about the most would have to be Lost in Translation. My first magical AU fic!

Worst part of writing: Sometimes I have an idea for how I want to start and end a fic, but figuring out the middle can be tricky! My multichapter fics tend to be pretty short in length compared to some, and it’s mainly for the reason that I struggle to find enough inspiration to keep my writing focused on a single idea/concept. I like to jump around through different genres, pairings, timelines, universes, which is what makes drabbling so much fun!

How you choose your titles: For my drabbles, I tend to choose direct quotes from the fic itself. For multichapter titles? I can sit and debate about those for days before I actually post :)

Do you outline: Not consistently! I tend to write down dialogue into a Google doc whenever I find inspiration and then piece the chapters together from there. I’ve never been one to sit down and outline the skeleton of the story before I start writing the chapters, and I kind of enjoy just letting the story flow as it comes!

Ideas I probably won’t get to but it would be nice: Any idea I have, I make sure to throw into a Google doc somewhere. Never say never!

Callouts @ me: My writing is 100% true to my name - cheesy. Sometimes I have to remind myself to dial it back a bit on the fluff, so I’ve enjoyed challenging myself to write a variety of genres - fluff, angst, smut, friendship, to name a few. So much fic to explore!

Best writing habits: I do a significant amount of research before writing a drabble/chapter. For fics like my current multichapter, Find Me Under the Waterfall, I like to set the scene, and it’s important for me to understand how I can make my readers feel like they are on location with the characters.

Spicy tangential opinion: I love reading other authors’ headcanons for the characters I write for. I have zero patience for anyone who deliberately takes the time to write negative reviews for authors just because they didn’t agree with someone else’s interpretation of a fictional character. It takes a lot of time, effort, and courage to write and share our fanfics with the world. Spread the positivity, ya’ll!

I'm tagging: @bjornthorsson20 @romioneb @zurisenchantedquill @acnelli @mina-roman