#i too am interested in normal guys
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If your "hear me out" is just a kind of toxic human man, you are going to get dragged on the Internet.
In IRL spaces, yeah, you might actually get a few odd looks. You aren't guaranteed to be in the company of monsterfuckers. In fact, you're more than likely not in our company. It's a safe bet to go with something tame.
If you're posting about how Ganondorf is your "hear me out" on tumblr or twitter, though? Girl, you are in Monsterfucker Central, what do you mean that tall, buff human guy is your "hear me out"? That's just an extremely hot man with a bad personality! I knew fifty of those in college!
Jack off to man-made horrors beyond your comprehension and get back to me!
(Note: I'm not saying that being into normal guys is lame or anything. Everyone has their own preferences. I'm saying that you shouldn't frame your attraction to a normal guy as a "hear me out" when you're in the company of people who want to fuck evil triangles, because we will look at you like you're insane and not for the reason you think.)
#like#i too am interested in normal guys#but i never frame them as a hear me out#my hear me outs are like#blinky from troll hunters and his evil twin brother?#and even they're super tame#or like#a mass of tentacles and eyes#i'd fuck that#even bill from gravity falls is a decent hear me out#despite his popularity#because he's a literal triangle y'know#how's he gonna fuck?
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I think one of the most surprising parts of transition, specifically going on testosterone, is just how... normal it felt to me. When I was watching other people go on testosterone and describe how they felt, I anticipated that I'd feel the huge emotions, the spark, I guess. But I didn't. If anything, I went from being a neurotic mess to being... normal. Almost painfully normal. It's like I've gotten a cloth and dusted off this thing I call my body.
I honestly think it's interesting how natural I feel on testosterone. I never really thought I could feel this normal, but I do. It's like I can stand in a crowd and not feel like eyes are watching me, like ants crawling on a log.
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#nonbinary#HAVING FEELINGS#like i watched this guy talk about how... almost explosive it feels for him on testosterone...#...and he was talking about it like 'RAAAAAGH FUCK I'M SUDDENLY FILLED WITH THE URGE TO PUNCH DRYWALL'#'ANGRY...HUNGRY' and i think that's completely fine. but it was weird when i didn't experience that#instead of being like... i guess hormonal??? i just feel like i can take a deep breath for once#(though i do relate to when he was like 'I NEED TO EAT EVERYTHING IN THE HOUSE 🤬')#but yeah... i guess this is me just being fascinated at how the same exact hormone even at the same levels will feel and look so different#like to me that's magic. like the human body is the messiest result of pure magic to me#i guess to me it's so interesting that people have an intense experience on testosterone when i just do not#(and my levels are normal for my body/age range. it is painfully in the middle of normal in fact)#(though i am overdue for labs. i was JUST talking about labs with my dad too 💀)
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oh im obsessed with this actually… who ever wrote this one i am kissing u on the forehead and hugging you real tight… inigo is such a loverboy im kkkhhhhhhijnsdnfng
#ann plays awakening#EDITING TO SAY I STARTED TAG VENTING HIT READMORE AT YOUR OWN RISK#anyways#LAST LINE IS A KILLERRRR WOW#‘ann werent you just pairing olivia with thar—‘ OLIVIA IS A BUSY WOMAN OKAY#but also i just had this old save file from when i wanted to see pink inigo and decided to get some more supports#im obsessed actually like#ok tag venting time maybe this should be its own post but u guys know who i am#not only does this support in my very educated opinion do a good job at emulating inigo’s way of speaking#but i think theres also a very underrated characteristic he has that not a lot of people talk about and its that hes honestly quite morbid#him spending hours talking to and dancing with his mother’s grave is very beautiful and moving but it is also not a normal way to grieve#which makes sense because duh nothing about his life is normal but its j like. you know#if robin is his father (and maybe j the normal convo i dont remember) in the hot springs scramble he’ll insist upon bringing—#severed risen limbs home as a way to remember the peacefulness (lol) of the springs#and he thinks absolutely nothing of it!!#i think he gets attached to things just a little too intensely and because his life is surrounded by death how he expresses that can be#very interesting. and he talks about death all time more than the other kids#bc while a lot of their coping mechanisms are based in fear and the need to instill confidence in themselves (think cyn or gerome or owain#or sev or yarne or noire)#and how their SCARED of death and of loss and adapt different behaviors to act like theyre not (to varying degrees of success)#i think inigo is much more accepting of the fact that death follows him and has made it a normal presence in his life#which is not a good thing it means that he hasnt let himself grieve. he lets death hang over him and follow him instead of pushing back#also guess which one of the awakening trio in fates has the canonical story death. just by the way lmao#anyways bc im writing this in the tags on my phone i cant actually see what the hell ive been saying im j stream of consciousnessing this#but my point is that inigo has a weird fixation on death and dying that stems from his inability to make peace with death and grieve#and i think him idolizing death in this support (this BRILLIANT fan support that made me ill) is so in character and so lovely#i miss him so bad (hes literally in the photos im posting) grghhhrgah#i wuv him :(
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I am filled with HATE and SORROW y'all know how like Nurm is my favourite character my number 1 guy out of any piexe of media ever I love him dearly which sucks cause he's pretty unpopular but whatever whatever. N I'm like "man I really want to see some new Nurm content but everything I find I've either seen before or I created ☹️" and then I. I go on tiktok and I KEEP seeing edits that start with a clip with Nurm in them and then haha surprise it's actually a Petra edit!! Cause it's ALWAYS PETRA GOD DAMN IT and I love her. I love Petra so much. She is a fabulous character but ohm y god I am tweaking. I genuinely started crying y'all I am not sane nor normal. I'm so normal about him. Oh my good god I am going insane I am 💥💥💥💥

#I envy people who's favourite characters are like. Lukas or Petra or Jesse. Y'all don't know how good you have it#At least I can confidently say I'm one of Nurm's biggest fans. You guys can't say that without a fight breaking out aha ha#HRGAHSBSJSJSNNSN#Actually losing it#Scampering about#Ignore this I'm just#ARG 💥💥💥💥#No cause I saw a post that was super funny but the screenshot used had like. Nurm's left leg in the foregriund and I started tearing up#My period is coming I can sense it there's no other explanation for this madness#Is somebody gonna match my freak? (Going genuinely feral for a guy with like 2 fans)#I don't know the term for this attachment. Cause it's not a normal person thing I'm 90% sure it's the autism#But I don't know enough about villagers to consider this a special interest and it's too long to be a hyper fixation#(even though I am very fixated and it is tearing me up inside)#This is why I tweak so bad in the tags of Nurm art sometimes I genuinely start crying g and scratching my phone like a rabbit animal#Rabid not rabbit.#minecraft story mode#mcsm#mcsm nurm#nurm mcsm#There are no emojis nor words that accurately depict my current state#I'm normal I'm normal I swear please I'm normal
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forever hilarious to me that tennis is promoted as this prestigious highbrow big-brain sport when most tennis fans these days are like. yeah this is my favorite player. yeah i don't know why they're like that. yes they are stupid. no i will not choose somebody else.
#wta tennis#atp tennis#i feel like the era of...shall we say 'federer-esque' players is waning#which i think can in part be related to the loss of the one-handed-backhand#as the sport moves more toward a necessity for fitness and athleticism players do not put as much emphasis on 'art'#which imo is fine! i think the 'art' of tennis is too protected in some ways. which i maybe will expand on later.#but i think it's too much for the tags of a (mostly) silly post#but yeah you can hear a lot of commentators touch on it#i know nadal even said something abt it recently(ish)#but i think as tennis is gradually less associated with this abstract 'image' (e.g. the obsession with federer's 'grace' and 'class')#players are coming in thinking 'this is a physical battle and i am going to win' and very much leaning into the *competition*#which not to say that they're ignoring/denying the mental aspects at all because i actually do think many players are very strategic/aware#and in truth i think many tennis players ARE actually very smart#but i also think it's less apparent because more and more players are able to just hit the shit out of the ball and call it a day#which leaves you with the occasional shot/point/game/set/match etc where it seems like they don't know what the fuck they're doing#but you think about most sports which evolve in phases#it's very normal for certain player profiles to become more or less popular as the landscape of the sport changes#or as new techniques/strategies are developed#or as new communities/populations become interested!#extreme example but think of like. high jump's fosbury flop. that was one guy!#one guy who changed the entire fucking sport! so it makes perfect sense that tennis is continuing to evolve#given how many unique players have come and gone#and how much the sport is changing externally as well as internally#anyways. this got out of hand but i love sports and i love tennis and i love my brainless players.#this whole post was inspired by rewatching sabalenka v boulter and aryna completely missed an overhead by like five feet. lol#love her <3
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22 days until hyeongjun's 22nd birthday
day 22 aka THE COUNTDOWN IS OVER - hyeongjun's past birthday brrrr ppoppos
bonus: 🤫
#xdinary heroes#junhan#jun han#han hyeongjun#gaon#jooyeon#gunil#ode#jungsu#kwak jiseok#lee jooyeon#goo gunil#oh seungmin#kim jungsu#hyeongjun22#HAPPY BIRTHDAY HYEONGJUN! hope he has a good one#and i also hope jooyeon will be a bit more gentle this time ://#my first bias! ♥ there's this one hdd performance where they play little solos before the actual song#and i was wondering who was going to be my bias - i wasn't planning on settling back then - just wanted to get a first impression#and i liked ode and gaon and i was like yes there's some potential. could be one of them#and then they showed hyeongjun and well. done deal. he became my bias right then and there#i have this thing for long fingers because they're very useful for playing the guitar#and he had amazing fingers and HE USED THEM TO PLAY THE GUITAR#and i love it when someone can make the guitar sing and he did#it was a surprising pick because i normally don't vibe with the shy ones but ugh there's a lot about him that's very neat#i switched biases by now i am very sorry hyeongjun. but he's still very special to me ♥#so my personal impression..... very withdrawn. sometimes i wonder if the shy guy thing is just a persona but no irl he's very withdrawn too#but ugh he loves what he's doing. he isn't that much of a stage hog (is that actually a word in english) but he loves playing the guitar#tumblr says i've talked about him enough so yeah. i also believe he has a loud side. a daring side. and that's very interesting#so... happy birthday guitar boi ♥
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Made it into old yharnam!
Cathedral ward is pretty blocked off for now, I've got just enough leg room to run about and grind the enemies but that's about it. Met Alfred!! He's got a way smoother voice than I remember, but knowing what I do of him gives me the creeps. Helpful enough though - I can summon him at the entrance of the blood starved beasts church.
The funny thing about playing this game with great general knowledge of it is that I recognise many rooms and important locations, but I don't know where on earth those places are, so I'm still stumbling blindly onto them. There's a lot of stuff I know, surface level, like the history of Queen yharnam and the vile bloods and the healing church, but I'm uncovering a lot of smaller stuff that adds to the richness of the world.
The gatling sniper on the tower uses a boom weapon, which means he's a (remnant?) member of the crazy explosion sect of hunters. And I can't put it into words, but I feel like that makes sense with the heavy and thankless duty he has taken on, almost sacrificing himself to protect and guard the quarantined community of old yharnam where no one else would stand for them. Something about the bull headed determination despite what society might say, a deeply emotional morality and a lifetime among monsters and men.
Like I would not make it as a hunter because I read the sign and was like 'welp none of my business let's turn back' but unfortunately that's the only way to progress!
Old yharnam is pleasingly vertical, very easy to get around despite being very disorienting. I don't know how they managed to make an 'old town' area in the gothic cobblestone wet dream of an old town but they did it and they did it WELL.
I did get stuck on getting the messenger bandages in that one corner of the beast church like seven/eight times (why so harrrrrd) but I only died twice to the frenzied mob of parishioners, so, win! I felt so bad each time, though, like I'm not here to kill anyone I just want to loot the place (and interrogate the sniper) I'll be on my way! Their singing was almost nice, shame they kept spotting me (how?!) and starting up those awful screeches. And then they chased me to the ends of the earth!!! Glowing red eyes!! Very scary!!!!
I've reached the blood starved beast so far, but I know that she's a tough one (and FAST, killed me quick) so I'm going to grind the new areas and crank up the levels. Learn my way around them like I know central like the back of my hand. I'm really good at parrying to visceral (thank you zelda breath of the wild) but bullets are SO EXPENSIVE. WHY.
#Ngl I am proud of my ability to parry it always feels so good to pull off#This is my first souls like game and certainly the first with proper builds and level ups (normally it's the pokemon doing that lol)#So I think I'm doing pretty well!! Very fun.#The grave keepers (stave and purple lantern guys) scared me at the start but they're such push overs lol so easy to visceral first try#Cathedral ward is interesting because it reminds me of fog canyon from hollow knight#It's really interesting to see its inspirations in reverse. I already was used to the shade mechanic (blood echoes retrieved)#But yeah fog canyon starts off as a very limited area that guides you to the next area but as you unlock more paths it blooms into this#Huge biome that almost acts like a shortcut hub to most anywhere because it's so central on the map. And it eventually has#The last piece of the key needed to the end. And that reminds me a lot of cathedral ward.#Very good game design I like it#I can parry werewolves and giants and grave keepers and townsfolks almost 100% of the time! It's so handy!!#Definitely developing the gun further in my build it's way too useful I JUST WISH BULLETS WERE CHEAPER#bloodborne
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you're like a celebrity to me. Is that weird? I put you on the same pedestal that actors and CEOs and stuff other people are put on. Am I normal? Am I normal, Spacie? I hope I'm not
AHAHAHAHHA??? im flattered! i dont think its weird per say, but i am definitely NOT famous. dont put me on that pedestal brah im literally like. just some guy shitting around on tumblr.com/dashboard
#spacie splains#i dont mind if people look up 2 me im just saying its a bad idea#i cant really uhhh change other peoples thoughts and or opinions of me but im wary of fame#i dont want people fawning over me. im not that interesting LMAO#also when you get too famous ppl stop viewing you as a person and moreso as an object and uh-#kind of dont want that. i am just some guy fr#on tumblr its different depending on what you get famous for. people here are a bit more down 2 earth than they are in other places#but still#you're not normal buddy anyone who follows me is . not normal at all.#well#sometimes normal people follow me 2 experience my level of crazy i wont deny#but your name has autism in it im willing 2 bet you've. got a bit of weirdness in ya
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the struggle of being a phone guy fan but not knowing anything about dsaf or dialtown
#i am getting a bit interested though#the dialtown character designs are very cool and i love seeing art of them on my dash even though idk who they are :)#and i've osmosised a bit#like i've memorized a few of their names#if anyone is in that fandom and wants to explain the lore i would be interested#my point still stands though#it is a shame that it's so hard to find art of my guy#the dsaf one is good too but it's just not the same#that's not my guy yknow#the vibes are different#(for context i did watch a playthrough of dsaf 1 so i know that much)#anyway this has been my rant#no shame to the dsaf/dialtown fandoms keep doing what your doing#i just wish normal fnaf phone guy got more appreciation
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jing yuan and yanqing are giving zhongli and xiao if the latter’s canon relationship was Actually fanon’s made up father figure/adopted child dynamic
#idkkkkkkkkkkkkk who looks at zx and is like 'you know what. this is a healthy parent child relationship'#like girl by fitting them into father son boxes you are actively making their relationship imbalance Worse#if you do that and dont shy away from it i respect that but if you say dad/son makes their relationship more wholesome or whatever like WHY#now i wont deny shippers might do that too but i see the dad son version so much i think im just averse to it by default#also because i think father son makes people actively Try to make their relationship something that its not and it erases a bunch of subtlet#subtleties in it. it's the nuanced r/ship -> entirely unproblematic and flavorless r/ship that i hate#also the number of people who'll block if you ship zx. like damn thats crazy you guys really think theyre father son (fake)???#at their peak they're like. 4000 year old guys who have too much history and repression and some weird entanglement of 'nah im bothering him#too much' and 'gotta protect him w my life' complexes. and then this devolves into theyre never gonna kiss until 3000 more years have passed#listen they just Contain Multitudes idc if you dont ship it just dont make it into dad and son and we will be so gucci#jing.yuan and yanqing are like different i think mostly bc yanqing is actually like a minor and jing yuan is also a normal ish person#plus the light cone and the abouts?? yeah this is an actual like adopted parent/child thing#also good or bad news i caved and am now playing hsr. the plan is to pull yanqing and then go on infinite hiatus in the game 👍#JWKFLJWEK i dont think theres really any draws for me besides him. personally neutral on turn based combat and the open world isn't giving#the only saving grace i have rn is 1) ive gotten to the part where bron.seele is real and man theyre gay 2) trailblazer trio 3) tall female#mc 4) everyone has way better emoting abilities than genshin 5) su.shang's really cute <3#the story doesnt really interest me though its like cool but not mindgrippingly interesting#tbf i think genshin is the same way storyline wise (at the beginning) but the difference is that turn based combat isnt really my thing LMAO#ramblings!#zhongxiao#if you want to filter it out ??
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I think that making old DJ Octavio balding is a beautiful and noble cause and I'd generally agree but. the vision in my mind is that he has not been able to switch forms for the last 100 years, as is canon, and it's only recently (and probably with the combination of Underground Octo Tech with the Surface's abundance of resources) that there have been the medical advancements to make it possible again. And I think that if after 100 years Octavio got his octoling form back only to realize he was balding I think that would just be the final straw for him he would just snap.
But in a universe where he never lost the ability to change forms I think he'd be chill with it.
#prince talks#something about watching himself grow old and being able to make peace with and enjoy it#vs feeling like he's had the last hundred years stolen from him and he's gone from point a to point c with no in between#<-guy has some internalized problems#I think Octavio would like the ability to switch forms again. but if anyone offered anything beyond that he'd get mad about it#He LIKES his cool hi tech mobility devices. thank you very much.#Also while I think DJ Octavio specifically would want his octo form back I am also certain there are inkfish who are#perma swim form (or perma octoling/inkling form!) who would. Not want this. even with the option available.#content with living their lives as they are#my final related thought is that I think Octavio was technically happiest for a short time in his 20s#but if ever some freak 'cuttletavio get de-aged!' plot happened to him I don't think he'd want to be in his 20s again#(and he would hate it even more if he was 18 or 19)#I think he'd rather be in his respectable late 30s or 40s. Or species equivalent.#how the fuck do inkfish even age man. Craig and Octavio imply interesting things about their lifespan#but also supposedly they are weird exceptions living way out beyond even normal inkfish ranges.#the ONLY people left alive from the great turf war#which I just. I don't know if I can believe that. when they're 130+ acting like they're 80 or whatever#actual final thoughts: please. Octavio being old is more important than trying to make him sexy. he can be old and sexy too#and if you make him fat when he is old then don't be a coward and make his baby days self fat too. This is my wisdom#he can be old and fat and sexy. thank you.
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Various images of things
#image commentary in tags once again since they don't allow captions anymore and I feel weird using the alt text for that --#1. PIBBINS.... cheering clapping hooting hollering glorious applause everytime I see a pigeon in public#2. Birthday card that I drew for someone. .. kittys...#3. 2023's annual haul of tiny white pumpkins.. i get at least one white pumpkin every year around fall when they have pumpkins in stores#because I just love the color and texture ... bright white and smooth and cold and round.. kind of like a volleyball or something#4. A brief adventure into watching big brother (only earlier seasons of course as I hate all reality shows post like 2013 or something when#they became overly focused on social media and overproduced memeable phrases more.. like even though ALL reality shows have always#been extremely fake and annoying and mindless it's like..... newer stuff seems A Different Kind Of Fake or something) since whenever#I'm sick sometimes I find weird mindless things like that to watch (that one time I had bronchitis I watched all of Flavor of Love in my#half awake illness stupor and now everytime I heat up canned minestrone soup (mostly all I ate that week) I think of flavor flav since#thats just a weird brain connection I have now lol) ANYWAY.. I was sick and watched like 2 seasons of this and then thought it was too#uninteresting and obnoxious to continue (more like 1 and a half since I skipped the rest of one once only boring people were left) BUT this#one guy had a very mischevious looking face and he also said a few things (like the above captioned speech) that sounded like dialogue#some fantasy character would say.. so I took a screencap of him and edited him into a mischevious wizard i guess.?? idk I was sick lol#~your little friend has a poisoned tongue~ is just a very unexpectedly serious sounding wording for some random normal#frat dude looking guy to say while casually chatting on a reality tv show in like 2008 or whenever that was filmed lol#5. FLUFFY CLOVERS!! I'd never seen them be furry and soft before?? inchresting..#6. Noodle sitting in bed with the cat figurines looming above him... the council of kittys...#7. McDonald's full breakfast platter + asparagus + strawberries & cream (also of course this is old and I am now boycotting mcdonalds etc)#i try to group the images somewhat consistently like.. winter stuff with winter stuff or summer stuff with summer stuff#but I have so many random pictrues floating around on my computer that I never post that sometimes some are not organized or just#thrown into a set because there's nowhere else for them. Like the pigeon picture is from like 3 years ago for example lol#8 & 9 - I think I've posted these before but I just find them very interesting looking flowers. whenever they happen to be blooming#I'll pick up a few when I'm out on walks or etc. ... poof ball looking things#photo diary
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Been crying regularly since June last year but these last couple of weeks damn, specially this one that just ended.
I dont think I've ever cried so much in my life
#not even when i was fresh out of whatever the fuck that was with that guy#and this time is like a lot of things crashing out#its a lot of stress response too imo#but still like obvioisly a big part of it is still my season#i guess im grieving like normal ppl grieve their parents/spouses/kids#but im grieving a dog so ofc it looks like too much for a lot of ppl#but im a bit of a psycho so my feelings for ppl arent like that#but that dog was almost my whole life especially during the pandemic when he started to get sick#and just before i was able to secure a bigger income to look after him he dies#and the fact that he waited for me to pick him up and waited for me i. the morning after i had gone exercise#i loved him so much and he loved me so much and im so certain ill never have a love like that in my life again#and a part of me just cant wait to reunite with him again truly also bcos world is ending literally#so the future is this thing i do out of obligation/need/social duty but its not something i believe in at all#and then my other dog and my head fucking with me in health related issues/anxieties#so i wouldnt be feeling all sensitive over this issue with thos guy (clearly this is too much emotional baggage hes up for fun times)#and seems to be having fun elsewhere which sure and again if his missus is fine who am i to feel like that#idk i feel like im putting more emotions into it than i should and its making me feel bad/stupid#sprinkle what would be completely irrelevant and whatever if it wasnt for my current stew of emotions and yeah#i feel stupid bad and pathetic#lmao at autocrrect for season i meant my son#the fact that mohini is all abt opening the hips is helping to this too i guess#i started bawling my eyes out at 8:45am at the fucning bus stop#and it all started with the rtp guy not stopping when i was running late which sure id had been mad abt and talk shit abt the guy#but this time i started crying so hatd and ????#feeling very tempted to do what mo ameer did in his comedy show abt going to church for confession#cheaper than therapy and honestly i just need to talk to someone and let this all out#should i go to therapy? duh we all do genius but i have no interest in sparing money for that atm#also matching with a therapy would take multiple tries and not willing to spend 4 times over 1000 pesos for that#that money has to go to other places that are actually more important#and god willing I'll finally be able to start doing it at the end of this month or beginning of the next
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#NEEEEEED THESE IRL#they're from the ttyd remake btw 👍#i am so excited for that. you guys will not be hearing from me for DAYS kjgfh#i never actually got to finish ttyd and the remake looks fun so that's gonna be how i experience it wahoo#im normally not too into remakes and just prefer the original but this one is getting a pass#it makes a lot of changes that im very interested in :3#chat
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hello upper middle class northern usamerican tumblr user. i want to play a game. you will notice that you are in a super america convenience store in rural kentucky - you have three minutes to purchase a snack and drink of your choice and make normal small talk with the cashier. however, if you use the word "cryptid" or generally make reference to appalachia and its inhabitants as "wild", uncivilized, or lacking restraint around alcoholic beverages during your time here, i will personally tie you to the chassis of a four wheeler and tip it into the river. live or die. make your choice
#speak friend and enter#i can appreciate mothman as much as the next guy but can we stop treating appalachia like it's the subject of a richard attenborough doc#i come from a long line of hillbillies and i like to think i've got a good sense of humor about it but sometimes i am tested#like. this is not a lawless land with a moonshine still in every holler and nameless voices in the woods!! this is a normal town!!#idk maybe i'm reading too much into it but i'm just tired of the cultural fetishization of appalachia by people who aren't from here#and who don't know anything about it. like yeah you know mothman and what hooch is and that's all well and good#but do you know what the opioid epidemic really is. do you know about the structural injustices that keep people like mcconnell in power#i'm not saying you have to apply dialectical political analysis to every issue that occurs in the region to be able to have an opinion#but also like. i'm tired of people looking at places like where i grew up and making them into things they aren't#like. on the one hand we have ''ooh spooky hills!! run if you hear the trees whisper your name''#and on the other we've got ''isn't appalachia so depressing...so hashtag ethel cain core...shame it's got no value beyond aesthetics''#and on yet another hand we have ''i - a person with no ties to the region - am going to take up the cause of every social issue#occurring across the entire appalachian region so the world will see just how bad these poor hill people have it. i am very smart''#and like. it's frustrating#i'm not saying you should never speak about appalachia if something we have is interesting to you#nor am i implying that i want to gatekeep discussion of the region's issues to the community bc that won't accomplish anything#i'm just saying that like any place it's complex. it's got its good things and it's got its bad things.#and you shouldn't isolate the good from the bad or vice versa - especially if you don't know the context in which those things happen.#and for the love of god dont let your own ignorance cause you to boil down those issues into a reductive and inaccurate set of stereotypes#learn about us from us. not from tiktok not from movies and for christ's sake not from hillbilly elegy. i hate that fucking book#anyway that got weirdly serious but i mean it. putting appalachia as a talking point up on the shelf until y'all can speak intelligently#ok to rb
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something i don't see people talking about is the way hyperfixations come in like stages and cycles like it's not just "i'm obsessed with this thing" it's like. euphoria from finding something new and it brings you so much joy and then as that initial dopamine rush wears off you start to get more and more down and feel isolated as you start to realise that no one else cares about it as much as you do and you feel silly for being so into it and the thoughts become repetitive and boring so you get more and more depressed and lonely and then you inevitably lose the hyperfix which leaves you drifting feeling miserable and hopeless until you start the cycle again. idk if i explained this well or if other people will understand but it brings genuine phases of euphoria and straight up depression and this is why i get annoyed when neurotypicals use words like hyperfixation to describe like, an interest. bc it's not. just an interest it becomes who you are and when you lose it it's like losing yourself and you spend so much energy thinking about it that it interrupts your daily life and it's so fucking draining 👍
#like if i see one more nt being like hyperfixation this hyperfixation that SHUT UP!! YOU HAVE AN INTEREST#talk to me when you stay up until 6am every night bc you can't fucking sleep bc ur thinking about it.#talk to me when you can't process emotions in a normal healthy way because you can only relate it back to your hyperfix#paired w madd especially it's IMPOSSIBLE to be normal about shit i swear 2 god because the second i'm upset or lonely it's straight back to#immersing myself in another world and being someone else and not facing my emotions instead letting 'someone else' deal with them#not just negative emotions yk it's anything it's fully immersive to the point i end up not knowing exactly who i am myself bc i'm rarely#myself in my head yk#and it's so isolating#and this is why i get mad when people use these terms lightly bc they don't fucking get it#oh you're hyperfixated? oh you're delusional? you're delulu? watch this#< guy who has delusions that all of his friends secretly hate him bc he's too insane abt xyz media and who feels alone bc no one else is as#into it even though it wouldn't be reasonable to expect them to be#like i'm constantly questioning whether all my friends are secretly against me & finding me annoying anytime i talk about it but it's fine#it's so fucking isolating#i'm not losing my hyperfix yet thank god but i am in the stage of like realisation where the initial euphoria has worn off and i'm like#fuck no one else gets it. no one else is thinking about it like i am. and it's so lonely#< like not to sound like 'i'm 14 and no one gets me' or i'm not like other girls or whatever 😭#it's not me being dramatic i genuinely. know that no one else is spending every waking moment thinking about the things i am the way i do#and it's so incredibly depressing i can't even explain it in a way that will make sense#because i want to talk about it so fucking bad and i can't. even to my friends and gf who always listen i end up feeling annoying#and then i get genuinely delusional not like tiktok girl voice delulu like i genuinely start questioning my entire reality#just if i talk about something a little too much#bc i'm convinced i'm fucking annoying and no one gets it and they're thinking bad things about me#but i know they wouldn't. but it feels like they are#idk#anyways !
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