#i told her i might have adhd and she was like… yeah?
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handcat · 1 year ago
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my friend recently went on adderal and was describing the difference between how she was before and after and i Realized…. i 100% fit her before symptoms…..
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jasperthejester · 2 months ago
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me: finally accepting theres a good chance im autistic and starting to work up the courage to ask my parents to see if i could get a diagnoses but being scared to
my mom: do you ever think you have adhd? if you want to do a screening for add next time your at the doctors you can
me:
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dragons-and-yellow-roses · 1 month ago
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Just remembered I have a psychiatrist appointment so early tomorrow. And I obviously dyed my hair so recently because there's green staining on my face. I don't think it's going to look great for the bipolar diagnosis, to disclose that I was feeling impulsive and wanted to get control over something, so I dyed my hair at midnight.
#i dont really like this psychiatrist but ive only seen her once so i figured i should give her one more shot#last time i saw her she adked how i liked my anxiety meds#i said i love them. theyre helpful and have no side effects since my body got used to them#and i said i explicitly didnt like ky old ones cuz of how they made me feel#she prescribed the old ones and said i should just tey taking a smaller dose. even though im on meds i like#but the bigger problem is#we went over all my previous medications. ive been on several. a lot of antidepressants especially which is really bad for bipolar#the worst antidepressant cause pericarditis (swelling around my heart) that made me go to the emergency room#we went over that. i told her everything i just told you#my bipolar leans heavily into the depression so she decided to tey another antidepressant along with my mood stabilizer#can you guess which antidepressant she prescribed? can you??#and i didnt realize it at the time because she called it the generic name so i couldnt explain she shiuldnt prescribe me that#and i meant to callher about it but it completely slipped my mind and i thought i had more time#and then suddenly my appointment is tomorrow#or the other thing she recommended was lithium. which feels like wuite an escalation#eapecially since she said it can cause irreversible damage to (maybe remembering this wrong) my kidneys#like i feel like there must be a better option. none of which are anxiety meds i dont like. an antidepressant that sent me to the hospital#or something that could cause irreversible damage. like i feel like theres a better way#i also need to talk to her about setting up an adhd assessment#i had an assessment a few years ago in which i was told im 'too smart to have adhd'#calling adhd people not smart is bullshit. you cant be too smart to have adhd. and i feel like i was just dismissed because im female#he said he wished he could score as hugh as i did on the knowledge tests#man me too. maybe then you wiuldnt be such an idiot. how did you get a license to practice. how did you pass any higher education#are you just a random guy that walked in off the street? i refuse to call him a doctor#i call him a quack or by his full name because i don't think he deserves the respect of that title#what was i talking about. oh yeah trying another assessment with an actual doctor this time#wish me luck with my appointment tomorrow bcuz she might try to kill me again#or dismiss my concerns of adhd like she dismissed my dislike for my old anxiety meds#im in hell. being mentally ill is hell a little bit#actually its not. im fine with my mental illness. im not fine with how doctors treat me because of it
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bat-the-misfit · 6 months ago
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me remembering that one of the main characters of my book is an aroace guy and realizing that his experiences might have been MY experiences as an aroace and i never even noticed that:
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fulokis · 1 year ago
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I got added to a book group and I’m not sure why, like I struggle so badly with reading it’s not funny. Maybe it’s cause I write but like even then it’s not original shit it’s just piggybacking on other stuff and I haven’t posted any of it in ages
#I’m confused#like I like feeling included and shit but like also I don’t understand what possessed them to add me#I kinda wonder if it was their our friend and we don’t want to keep secrets sorta thing#which is nice and all but like I’m totally okay with not being in it#also it’s some people I’ve never talked to so like it’s exhausting enough having met a new online friend this week much less three#idk i might lurk but I honestly am confused by the social interaction#also I typed she for myself and I wanted to throw my phone#it’s cause they don’t know I’m nb and I’m not sure they’d understand#also I find it so much easier to get along with guys than girls so like there’s that#and the more I think about this paired with the videos on autism I was watching today the more it seems likely#I just still hesitate to self diagnose because of past experiences self diagnosing with depression and anxiety#like I was literally told if it’s not by a doctor it’s not valid by my then best friend#just for the bitch years latter to come to me and say I understand what you meant about the depression#my best friend now tho when I brought up the possibility of autism was like yeah I can see it#although her adhd ass still gets annoyed when I’m too low energy to even socialize with her#I really need to find a therapist but first a doctor because I’m about to run out of meds#like technically a psychiatrist would be able to do that too but it was originally my doctor who did so that’s going to be less painful#that is if I can figure that shit out#all I know is it won’t before my meds run out
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literaphobe · 1 year ago
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imagine marinette getting told by friends and family Hey Girl. we think you might have adhd. and they cite symptoms she shows but she accidentally connects them to stuff she started doing after she became ladybug and now shes like OH NO… if i deny this disorder they will suspect my identity… YEAH I TOTALLY HAVE ADHD YOU GUYS!!!! so she thinks she’s keeping it up for her superhero life and nods along to all the tips and tricks for adhd people her loved ones find on the internet. she flashes smiles as they hand her meds that could help and only pretends to take them because she’s Lying About It Right. but then one day at patrol chat noir tells her hey um recently a friend of mine was diagnosed with adhd. have you heard of it? because i think you might have it. and her eye twitches
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the-words-we-sung · 6 months ago
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Thoughts and pictures - S3E4
I've never been that slow with a Young Royals rewatch >< It's hard for me to get through this season (especially now that I'm in the last 3 episodes...)
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And here we go, starting directly with a very sad Simon 😞 Omar plays a crying Simon way too well, it breaks my heart every damn time...
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I like hearing Wilhelm call Simon his boyfriend 🥰 Also is it me, or do we have a lot more close up shots in season 3? (No clue if that's what it's called, I mean shots that are very zoomed in on their faces like this one.)
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Vincent drawing a dick on the ground, of course... And I don't get his explanation: "why even try if there's no reward for the effort?". It means if the school closes, they all won't graduate and have to do their grade all over again? Surely if they're taking tests and all, it counts for something? Why fail an important test and take the risk to fail your year? 🤔 (Not gonna lie, most of Vincent's reactions to what's happening to the school this season left me quite perplexed ^^') And if it's just the graduation ceremony that is cancelled, it still doesn't mean they're not graduating, does it? 🤔
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But can you really Simon?
And Wilhelm repeating his mother's words "it's a privilege, not a punishment" breaks my heart >< (Also I'm gonna be a little shit about it but even the Royals have a choice in the end about accepting or not their role and job: after all, Wille is gonna renounce it in 2 episodes :p)
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I do like what he said about the role of the royal family in Sweden! We have very little information on that in the show so I appreciate it here. And he looks so pretty in this light!
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Wilhelm sounded so surprised that Farima said yes immediately when he told her they needed to help Simon. He was expecting to have to fight them on that.
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Why did he have to delete his whole account? Why not just put it on private? (I know I've read in several fanfics the idea that searching and deleting through all the new people who followed him before going on private would be too much of a hassle but I feel like it's a stretch, and an acceptable price to pay to keep his account?)
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Their conversation about Wilhelm's choice of foundation makes me so so sad! I had hoped that he would see Simon's point of view on how he can use his role as Crown Prince to try and make things better! I was actually pretty surprised that he was 100% not interested. It's a new facet of Wilhelm's personality that we hadn't really seen before I guess? And it feels like it creates a serious gap between them, it shows that they're not on the same page at all about a pretty serious subject (which is not good for the future of their relationship...)
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This shot of these 3 made me laugh :p
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This one hurts... Another crack in their relationship 😩 Simon is realizing how different they are. He knew they were but this season is showing us a side of Wilhelm that just seems incompatible with Simon :/ It's not just differences in tastes or personality, now it's differences in their core values also. And that is a huge problem.
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So we learn that Simon mostly avoided Micke for Sara's sake. Or maybe he's exaggerating that fact because he's really angry at her.
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The sit-in scene is very funny, they're all so dramatic, thinking they might starve to death xD I didn't think that August's eating disorder would be confirmed this way! Also I guess Vincent does have ADHD then? It was not just an excuse to get pills.
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"Because we are different?" Yeah... that's what this episode is really about, how different you both are. Which wouldn't be an issue for me if it was less about such important matters :/ I wish we had seen them learn more from each other this season, instead of being in conflict to much.
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I agree with Felice that it's getting out of hand! (I still enjoy the whole thing though 😁). I don't dislike Stella as much as a lot of people seem to, but I don't like her in this scene and how she talks to Felice!
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Cutest scene of the episode.
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I adore this scene. It makes me want to cry. I love them both and I'm so happy that they're slowly finding their way back to each other <3
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"Erik was there." This sceeeeene!! Such a punch in the face, so fucking terrible >< (So well acted also!!)
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Another trauma for my poor boy...
So lots of mixed feelings with this episode! I'm very frustrated with Wilhelm and his reactions, but I love the Sara arc. I really like the end of the episode, with some very good scenes. But now I really don't wanna go watch the next one ><
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plants-are-fun · 11 months ago
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sunshine
tw!!!! This is gonna be a multiple parter and will have MANY serious topics. Do not read if you are sensitive to that stuff.
this story contains: abusive dad, mean Chris
Chrisxfemreader
readers pov
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I miss how I used to be. I assume I’ll be saying that forever. my childhood was by no means easy, but it was perfect to me.
I had a deadbeat dad and no mom, but I also had the triplets and their parents. I basically lived with them.
I still remember how when I came home from school to their house, marylou would open her hands out as I ran to her yelling “sunshine!” As loud as she could. I don’t think I would have made it this far without her.
me and Nick were the closest. I was the first person he came out to, and although I didn’t know much about what being “gay” meant, I was still supportive. He knew everything about my home life, and swore that he would never tell anyone about it, not even his brothers.
Matt was the one that recognized all of my conditions. He recognized that I was dyslexic when I couldn’t read very well. He would always read for me so I could fall asleep. He also recognized my depression and anxiety, and even my ADHD. Although they couldn’t get me to a doctor or therapist legally, knowing made it much easier to cope. He was honestly like a big brother to me, being two years older.
Chris was my everything. I had the biggest crush on him. I could even say my first love. It was obvious that he didn’t feel the same, but I’m grateful he kept me around anyway. He would never fully speak to me as we got older, but he would always tell his friends to back off whenever they picked on me for my hair, my clothes, or even my smell.
that all changed in middle school.
I was in 6th grade, he was in 8th, and he hadn’t spoken to me all year. I would always walk with him in the halls because I was more comfortable that way. Neither Nick or Matt had a schedule anywhere close to mine, so I never even saw them.
It was in the middle of January when I was trying to find Chris that I heard him and his buddies laughing from around the corner.
“what about y/n?” One of the goons said. I slowed my walking, not meaning to eavesdrop, but just so I would turn the corner and be spotted as quickly.
“what about her?” Chris said with a scoff.
“she’s always following you around, like a little lost puppy. It’s so obvious she likes you” some idiot said
I stopped and felt my ears burn with embarrassment.
“yeah I guess she does..” Chris said. I was so hurt. He used to always defend me against these guys and now he’s agreeing?
“but you let her! Do you like her too? I mean, you guys grew up together” one of his friends, Jared said.
“do I like her?” Chris said. I could tell he was embarrassed and maybe a bit flustered. As I thought he was going to defend me, defend us he said “bro, how could I like her? She lives in a trailer park. I could never like someone like that. Nick told me that it always smells like cigarettes and is always filthy. She needs to leave me be. The smell might rub off on me”.
I know I should’ve let it slide off. Middle schoolers are dumb, and they just want attention. But all I could do was stand there and begin to cry.
I bolted away from the group and into the restroom. I stayed there until the end of the day.
all I could think of was how Nick could have done that to me. I didn’t want him to come over to where I lived, but he insisted. He said that ‘it was only fair because I had basically lived at his house’. When I let him in, he seemed supportive, but I guess he was just grossed out. But he was the only person to even know about me living in a trailer park, and he promised he would never tell anyone.
I wanted to hurt him, maybe even out him. But in the end I just shut my mouth and shut down.
when the final bell rang, I ran out with red puffy eyes, and climbed into the back of marylous minivan.
“hey sunshine, how was school? are you ok?” She said. After squeaking out a quick “fine” she just sighed and tapped the steering wheel, waiting for her real sons to come out. Matt came out and I saw him look at me, then his mom before climbing in the front seat. Marylou just gave me a worried look then shrugged to Matt.
Chris came out looking like he was the coolest motherfucker in the world, slouching and nodding to his mom. He got in without even sparing me a glance.
when Nick came bouncing out, he waved to his mom and Chris before getting in the middle row with Chris. He turned to me with the biggest grin on his face and said “hey girl!! How was your day? I have SO much to tell you when we get back.” I just looked at him.
“hey are you ok?” He said, reaching out to rub my shoulder.
I jerked away from him. “Don’t touch me.” I spat out.
“what’s wrong” he said withdrawing his hand.
“don’t even talk to me.” I glared at him. He just looked confused. The whole car was silent. Marylou was looking at me in the rearview mirror and Matt was fully turned around with his jaw on the floor.
“Ms. Sturniolo, can you please just take me home?” I said startling even myself. I had never called Marylou that. Even when I was a kid before learning her name I just called her ‘nicks mom’.
“sure sweetie, are you sure? You can take a nap in your room if you want-“ “yes I’m sure. Thank you.” I don’t want to be anywhere near Chris or Nick. It wasn’t even my room. It was a guest bedroom with a lot of my clothes because I stayed over so often.
“ok sunshine” she muttered.
the whole car ride was silent. It took everything in me not to burst into tears and tell her everything, to ask her to not take me home. The last thing I wanted was to go back home. But it was obvious that I was bothering the poor family, so I would give them what they wanted.
once we pulled up, I gathered my things and jumped out of the car. After saying thank you and ignoring nicks goodbye, I started walking, before remembering I had forgotten my water bottle on the cup holder. I ran back, to where Chris was waiting with the window rolled down, holding it out to me. I took it and turned away before hearing him mutter “not even going to say thanks?”
I turned to him and said “thank you, Chris. I hope being here didn’t make you too uncomfortable” quiet enough for only us to hear it. “You should take a shower when you get home. I wouldn’t want my smell to rub off on you”. He looked like he had seen a ghost, but I didn’t care. I just walked off and slammed the door on my way into the house. I heard the car start to drive away when I felt a searing pain hit my jaw. my dad was awake.
“What the fuck do y-you think you’re doing here? I told you I don’t want your stupid face in here.” He slurred “I’ll stay in my room” I whispered. I knew he didn’t like me, but I never thought he would hit me in the face like that.
“ok, I don’t fucking care. Stay out of my sight. And if you ever slam my door again I’ll kill you.” I was used to empty threats, but after just hitting me, I didn’t know if it was empty anymore.
“yes sir” I said as I walked to my room.
that night I cried harder than I had ever before. I cried so hard that I threw up. After going to the Bathroom to brush my teeth, I saw the bruise that was starting to form.
I got out my flip phone and texted Nick. I couldn’t have him asking questions.
to: Nicky :))))))
hey, I’m taking the bus tmr, I don’t need a ride there or back.
from: Nicky :))))))
ok, r u sure? It’s rlly no problem. and r u ok??? Did I do something????
to: Nick Sturniolo
yes I’m sure. Night
that would be the last time I spoke to him.
Chris POV
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I still stay awake thinking of that day.
I don’t know why I said it. I didn’t mean it, she had to have known.
I wanted that stupid group of boys to like me so bad, and stupid fucking Jared had some sort of obsession with her, so I didn’t want to make him hate me by being her friend.
I didn’t like talking about her behind my back, but what would the harm be if she wasn’t around? It’s not like any of these guys would ever talk to her.
I remember being so worried about her. She would always come to school looking like she never slept, never showered, and never ate. It kept up until we took her in.
one day there was a stench on her, so I confided in Nick. He didn’t want to tell me, but I have a way of wiggling information out of people. He felt so guilty after, and made me swear I would never speak of what he told me, even to Matt. But of course I had to run my mouth to fucking jared.
we knew she lived in a park, but that was it. She wouldn’t even tell my mom.
during that car ride, I knew something was wrong. I would have been an idiot not to see it.
when she whispered those words to me, I knew I had fucked up.
Nick asked me what she said, but I was so worried that I could lose Nick too, that I just told him she said thanks.
Nick was distraught after he got the text saying that she would take the bus.
after it became clear she wouldn’t be coming back, Nick gave me her clothes to give to her. She just took them and walked away.
I began to hate her for the affect her absence had on Nick. Why would she do that to him without even explaining? Was she protecting me?
but she shouldn’t do that to Nick.
I hate her.
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not sure how I feel about this but I hope you like it!!!
please leave reviews and comments below!!
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the-self-indulgent-corner · 4 months ago
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Genshin Characters x a reader with adhd (part two!)
Summary: Your adhd may be strange, but you're convinced your (boy/girl) friend is stranger despite that.
Or, how the genshin characters react to a reader with ADHD. (Ft some lesser known aspects of ADHD)
Featuring: Hu Tao, Collei, Cyno. Can be read as romantic or platonic (except for Collei, I wrote hers only platonically)
A/n: Hey it's me again after *checks notes* about nine months. Whoops.
I don't have any crazy stories I just lost inspiration. Truth be told I had 2/3 of this already written out mostly but lost inspo and also time so it was kinda left in the drafts for a while. And I only finished writing it today with minimal proofreading so if there's mistakes no there isn't-
Anyways, you don't need to read part one to understand this, but as I said before I do use some more less known features of adhd in these hcs so i'm putting a general index of what they mean here. It's not a perfect summary but it'll give you a general idea of what it means.
And disclaimer! While I do have adhd, not everyone's adhd is the same. So what's common for me might be super uncommon for other folks with adhd and vise versa. So don't take this index or hcs as verbatim and do your own research if you don't know about something!
Index:
Executive dysfunction/ADHD paralysis: Wanting to do your job/work, but it feels like you’re physically unable to.
Food sensory issues/selective eating habits: A lot of people with ADHD are ‘picky eaters’ and refuse to eat certain foods even if it's good for them. Usually we pick foods with high sugar since it causes a ‘dopamine surge’.
Auditory processing disorder (APD): Having difficulty making out what someone is saying or processing what someone said too slowly.
Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD): Being much more sensitive to rejection or perceived rejection.
Verbal stim: Exactly the same as other stims (Like bouncing your leg or clicking a pen) but just with words. Usually being a certain phrase, sentence or singing, although any vocalization can be a verbal stim. 
Time blindness: Becoming so engrossed in something that many hours can pass when it felt like a much shorter amount of time.
Intrusive thoughts: unwanted disturbing thoughts and ideas that come to mind randomly. Can either be mildly unnerving to totally distressing.
Now with that word vomit out of the way, onto the hcs!
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Hu Tao
Y'all can't tell me this girl also doesn't have ADHD. 
Once you tell Hu Tao about your ADHD she'll go "ayo that sounding kinda familiar 🤨"
Whether or not she has ADHD is up to the court to decide but NONETHELESS Hu Tao can absolutely relate to at least a few of these.
Impulsive? Check. Stimming? Check. Time blindness? Check. 
(Society not liking how you act? Check. /J)
If Hu Tao hasn't already latched onto some of your stims she definitely will after you tell her, even if she doesn't realize it right away LOL
You also steal some of hers <3 like her idle animation with the hillichurl song?? Yeah that. 
You two don't even notice it until someone (probably Zhongli) points it out.
The amount of times you two impulsively went out is kinda impressive tbh. Either one of you will be like 'hey are you busy?' And if the other says no they're dragged off somewhere LMAO
You two always have fun though
She’s good at helping you out but her ways are kinda unorthodox 
If your executive dysfunction or smthn is acting up girl will literally just. Pick you up and bring you where you need to.
“What? You need help getting somewhere and I can help! Besides, you said having others around helps you work, right?”
Stop being right about this Hu Tao how dare you /j
Really tho girl can and will just. Pick you up to get you to do something/go somewhere LMAO. Only stops if you get genuinely upset by it.
And while she’s good at helping you she’s also a bit 50/50 on what she does help you with.
If it's actively hurting you in some way she'd absolutely stop it, but if it's a bit more hehe silly goofy she'd prob just do it with you
Don't like this texture of food? Yeah her neither, let's get something else. Found something shiny and now you're distracted? She's looking at the shiny thing with you. 
If you mask/Your ADHD isn't very obvious people would view you as the one who keeps Hu Tao in check which, depending on what kind of person you are, could be true but it's much better imo if you both are equally as strange
Stranger: Oh, you'll keep Hu Tao in check, right?
You, about to do the same thing as her: Yeah of course!
Tbf even if you did try to keep everything in line Hu Tao has a way to always convince you to do it her/another way instead. She knows how to trick you.
You fall for it each time 😔
"Wait. We aren't supposed to be here! We have to go to-"
"Too late! We're already here! May as well have fun!!"
If you're playful like her you two love to tease each other all the time. The amount of inside jokes y'all have is insane
As long as you're fine with it you two try to one up embarrassing each other in other people's presence LMAO
"Hey, 'Tao, remember that one time when you-"
"If you're talking about the knuckleback incident then it's not even half as embarrassing as that time you-"
This can go on for days.
You two have a relationship not many understand but it doesn't really bother either of you. As long as you're both happy you couldn't care less.
You two are little freaks of society /lh 
Although, if you're also a bit of a troublemaker like Hu Tao, y'all turn into team rocket. Prepare for trouble and make it double fr
"Hey, y/n! You'll never guess what I just found!"
"Whatever it is, it better have the ability to mess with someone."
"It does!" 
"Perfect."
The people of Liyue often wonder how you two have that much energy. 
Hu Tao is a pretty good listener and loves to hear whatever you want to talk/rant about.
Probably the best person out of this list to rant about your hyper fixation to because girl will match your energy even if she doesn't care/knows nothing about it. If it's important to you, it's important to her!
You'd be stimming happily talking about it and she'd be doing the same; not to mock you but because if you're excited she's excited too and also needs to let out that energy 
Even if you're talking at 2x speed, she somehow keeps up with all of it. 
She also likes when you space out because it becomes 10x easier to scare you back into reality. She can’t help herself. What can she say?
“Boo~!”
“Ah! Hu Tao!? Why!”
“You were spacing out! Cmon, we can find something better to do besides staring at a wall all day.”
“... Who do you want to prank?”
“I'm so glad you asked!”
You're preoccupied for the rest of the day.
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Collei
You 🤝 Collei
BEING NEURODUVERGENT/HAVING A MENTAL DISABILITY 
Even though ADHD and PTSD are nothing alike, girlie is still so happy she's found a kindred soul who personally understands (at least some of) what she has to deal with that many others don't. 
I'ma be real with you tho I don't think Collei really knew what ADHD was before she met you lmao
I feel like at most she's heard the term but not much beyond that. With that said though I don't think she'd have any preconceived notions on what ADHD entails, she's prob the easiest to explain your disability to honestly.
She also hears you explain some symptoms and is like ‘hey wait… Some of this sounds familiar to me!'
She actually confides in you quite a bit because of this. usually about her the lesser known aspects of her PTSD. It's usually the parts she feels bad about telling Tighnari, things like intrusive thoughts. 
She probably thought she was a terrible person for thinking that, unaware that intrusive thoughts are, well, intrusive. Once she tells you about them you tell her about yours as well and probably have to explain that it doesn't make her a bad person. 
Although a good bit of you and her talking about your guys mental disabilities is just that spider man pointing meme since quite a few things overlap LMAO
“Oh! So you say some things repetitively, too? I thought only I did that!”
“Yeah! I have a lot of vocal stims, honestly. Like one where I- Uh… you good, Collei? You look kind of confused.”
“Vocal stims…?”
Despite relating to quite a few things and already knowing she has a mental disability she's completely in the dark about more nuanced things than the standard. You'll have to teach her some things about it 😭
Although some things she's a bit lost on, she's got the spirit!
She can be a bit awkward about the things she doesn't relate to, though. She doesn't mean to be! But this is uncharted territory for her, and she's not quite sure what to say at times. After that initial phase of uncertainty though she sees it's not as scary/intimidating as it sounds on paper.
For example you'll tell her of your executive dysfunction and she'll get so nervous and absolutely blow out of proportion how bad it is/looks but when she once catches you just laying around while you were meant to/want to work she's like ‘oh, that's not as bad as I thought.’
She definitely tries to help you if you need it though. If you had food sensitivity issues she would prob try to make foods you dislike taste better. 
(Even if it failed you appreciate the attempt she made.)
You also teach her how to manage some of her own habits as well by sharing your own tricks. 
Some work perfectly and she's forever grateful you told her about it, but others completely flop.
(Even for those that don't work, she also appreciates that you tried.)
Sometimes though, she's completely flabbergasted by your antics lmao. 
She’ll see you working on something new and asks you about it, to which you respond in 2x speed about how you went down a rabbit hole these past few days and now are trying to learn a completely new skill from scratch and she lost you after your second sentence.
“Okay so basically a couple of days ago I saw this person who was making some pottery and I thought about how cool that was, so I looked into it and-” 
“Wh-what…?”
Girlie means the best but she's so confused 😭 by the end of your tangent she's giving hesitant encouragement because while she has no clue what you're doing or why you seem to be having fun at least. 
But honestly Collei worries about you sometimes, but that's more because she's anxious and even if she's been around you for years can probably never fully get used to your antics lmao. 
She's worried that others will see you as weird since at times you can be so unapologetic with your ADHD and worries you won't fit in.
She's too sweet. 
You always reassure her that even if that did happen, you wouldn't want to be friends with people who think you being yourself was weird or a bad thing.
If you keep this up you're going to completely rewire Collei’s brain. 
You probably inspire Collei quite a bit. She's a shy person so seeing you so open with your disability (and helping Collei with hers as well) makes her look up to you a little. She thinks it's so cool you can be so upfront and honest about it without really worrying about what others think of it. 
At some point, Tighnari pulls you aside and thanks you for being her friend. You helped her by just being someone who can relate to and understand her in some way, something that he can't do. Showing her that no, she isn't less than just because of a disability.
Congrats you officially joined the family.
“Ah, y/n! There you are! I um, have been meaning to give this to you… it's a plush of that character you like a lot! You've helped me a lot so I… wanted to give this to you as thanks! I-I hope you like it!”
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Cyno
Congrats Cyno for being the only one on this list to know what ADHD is besides just knowing it exists!!!!!!
Fr tho I think Cyno knows a good bit about ADHD, like how it ties into other mental disabilities, sensory issues or even things like going non verbal… but at the same time he falls for a lot of the misinformation/generalizations about it as well 💀💀💀
If you mask well, he absolutely will not be able to tell you had ADHD. Completely unaware of it LMAO. But he's trying, give him a break.
It might even take a bit longer to explain to him since you have to correct any misinformation he has about it unlike the others who come in with mostly a blank slate. 
Like, no Cyno, not everyone is super hyper. No, not everyone is unable to sit still. No, some of us can mask. No, we aren't all connected to the ground itself- where'd you even hear that from!?
He grasps onto it pretty quickly though, and he remembers everything you say about it. And by extension, how it affects you specifically. 
“You shouldn't buy that.”
“?? Why?”
“It has that material you dislike the texture of in it.”
“Oh shit I didn't notice-”
Tbh Cyno is probably one of the best people to help with your ADHD since he's so observant. He’ll recognize when you're about to hit your sensory limit, remind you to do things you forget, and even helps you when your executive dysfunction is acting up. 
Although Cyno isn't perfect at everything and… honestly, you'll probably lose him at a couple parts.
He doesn't mean to be rude or anything, but some parts he just genuinely does not get. 
That doesn't mean he doesn't respect them or anything, but like when he hears you talk about verbal stims he’ll both think ‘huh that's kinda weird how they have certain vocalizations they like to say I don't think I've heard of that before’ and ‘it's cool they feel safe enough around me to tell me that I wonder what their vocal stims are’ simultaneously. 
Mans doesn't fully understand why you do some of the things you do (and tbf you don't either) but he also doesn't care as long as you're happy.
And while he's a great help, you can't forget that this is Cyno. Since he's helping you so much you know there's only one way to pay him back…
It's time to d-d-d-d-d-d-duel!!
That's right he forces you to play tcg with him LMAO.
He doesn't really care if you've never played before or not, he will lend you his cards and teach you right then and there if he must.
And if he gets you hooked on it? (or you already are hooked on it) Oh boy-
You two could battle each other for hours, you both probably have before. Cyno is so happy to have someone who likes the game as much as he does tbh. Even if you're not a pro, he still enjoys the battles. 
And if you are a pro, then you may just confuse everyone else around you with your in depth conversations about the most optional strategies and best support cards. 
But if you're not talking about and/or playing TCG, he'd love to hear about your current hyperfixations. He can keep up with you if you talk at 2x speed so don't be afraid to go crazy with it lmao.
He’ll listen attentively and even ask questions about it every now and then, but he tends to keep quiet when you talk about your own interests. Content to just listen to you ramble on and on. 
However with all this new information about your hyperfixation you've given him you accidentally made a monster. Because now that he knows how it works/what it's about, Cyno is going to make bad dad jokes about it and you can't stop him.
When he sees you again he'll tell you his new greatest joke about your hyperfixation. 
“So you remember when you info dumped about that book series to me yesterday?”
“Yeah? Why?”
“*Pulls out a written list* okay so I've got some new jokes about it and-”
Please he's SUCH a dork. Laugh at them he’ll be so happy about it.
He’ll be even more happy if you make your own jokes/add onto his. You literally just made this mans whole month with that. 
Cyno may even repeat these jokes to others if your hyperfixation is something well known.
Cyno will also probably find himself repeating some of your own stims (verbal and non verbal) too. Generally he only does your quiet/silent ones, (quiet humming, tapping a pen, clenching and unclenching his fists, etc…) 
I like to think that once or twice he repeated one of your more bizarre vocal stims and then just. Didn't elaborate.
He probably won't even notice himself doing it until someone else points it out. He doesn't mind it though, just probably was surprised he did it at all lol.
At first Cyno would probably see your ADHD antics as strange (and to an extent, he still kinda does lol) but takes it in stride. As said before he's of the mindset of ‘as long as they're happy and not hurting anyone I don't mind.’
After a while though it definitely grew on him lmao. Now he actively initiates conversations about it to better understand you and your adhd. 
If you ever feel upset about your ADHD he's kinda shocked because you probably never mentioned it before. Def the type to listen to your worries and calmly yet rationally tell you how that's actually not as bad as you think it is. Besides, you have like a thousand other redeeming qualities, so what if you can't always pay attention? Who else is Cyno going to duel with on a random Saturday afternoon?
… Yet even after learning all this about ADHD, he's still going to come to you asking weird questions.
“Y/n, is it true that people with ADHD like shiny things?”
“Cyno, that's every human.”
“Oh.”
He tries his best, okay?
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Ending note: Annnnnd that's a wrap! Sorry if this one is shorter/less detailed than the last one but i'm tired. However if I don't do this now I probably won't post it later because of a lack of confidence oof. Anyways thanks for reading this far and I hope you liked it!
Also what characters do u think I should do next if any?
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saytrrose · 9 months ago
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Small question you're free to ignore but I'm curious.
What are all of your head cannons for Kinger and Queenie? :3
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I have SO much so this definitely won’t be ALL of them but ramble time lets go some might be a bit suggestive because silly silly!!
—————
- Kinger and Queenie aren’t actually married, due to circus rules they’d had to have met in the circus because the erasure of memories but yes they were in a relationship and dated.
- While they don’t need to sleep, they still enjoy keeping up the schedule as if they do, in order to not go crazy over it. Kinger and Queenie usually spend their time in on or the others room though, as opposed to seperate.
- Kinger the type of mf to give Queenie a friendship bracelet and her say it’s lame and he almost cries and tries to take it back and then she puts it on her wrist and says no it hers (she cares she’s so bad at showing it)
- Queenie get jealous easily and Kinger can’t wrap his head around the concept of jealousy
- Kinger is Vegetarian and Queenie finds it weird
- Kinger is your token cishet white man
- I lied he’s maybe bisexual but won’t admit it
- Queenie is a trans woman AUGH❗️❗️
- I genuinely love the theory on Kinger and Queenie being the originally beta testers and the first of everyone to enter the circus. And for my peeps that love religious imagery esp tied to tadc- then you could think of them as Adam and Eve, the firsts and Queenie being the first to abstract aka a way to resemble the betrayal of sorts.
- Kinger hates chess and Queenie doesn’t know how to play
- Old music fans ❤️❗️ Frank Sinatra plays and Queenie is dragging Kinger to dance with her
- Oh yeah, good dancers. But traditional dancing of course.
- Kingers “bug” collection is actually glitches within the circus, not genuine bugs. Like the glitched potted plant, he picks up glitched items or “bugs” and collects them in his room.
- Pls pls projecting Queenie was a motorcycle girlie
- Kingers autistic, but Queenie is not
- Kinger also has paranoid schizophrenia and ADHD, Queenie is bipolar
- Made a comic on this one, Queenie always made pillow forts and eventually invited Kinger into them, and taught him to make them.
- they are both married to me /j
- One time they were doing “adult relationship couple things” when Caine called everyone into the hallway and they accidentally rushed out of the room in one another’s robes instead of their own
- Kinger is a horrible liar and Queenie just gives him a look and he immediately spills everything he’s thinking about
- Queenie is a hello kitty fan
- First time!! Kissing!! Kinger leaned in to kiss Queenie for the first time and it was pretty quick and he was nervous, and Queenie grabbed his face and told him to calm down and whispered if he’s ever kissed someone before, and he said he doesn’t think he has so Queenie gave him a good cute little “tutorial” on that.
- Translation: THEY MADE OUT GANG!!
- Anytime there’s a snow themed adventure, Kinger likes to make a Snow Queenie (this applies to before and present day)
- Kinger is little spoon Queenie is big spoon
- Very clingy- they both are very clingy it’s just Queenie is the only possessive one over it.
- Kinger randomly mutters to himself “Queenie would love this”
- They aren’t afraid to always perform pda around the others, hugging/kissing/nuzzling into one another and the only one brave enough to comment on it would be Kaufmo who I personally think hates viewing affection in the slightest and he’d later get whooped by Queenie
- Kingers a service top/sub
- Queenies a bratty bottom/top
- They can both be switches why not
- Queenie loves plushies
- I’m getting tired so I’ll stop here this isn’t even most of them or a lot hhhh
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anexperimentallife · 1 year ago
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Dude, not only have I been sick with this respiratory infection since Oct 9 (2023), but since I moved to the Philippines (in large part to make my disability payments stretch further), I've had covid three times, pneumonia three times, my right retina partially detached from a clot (might need surgery), a cataract starting in my other eye, one side of my face temporarily paralyzed by blood clots (one eye still droops sometimes), had a two year foot infection that took surgery and an infectious disease specialist to clear up (and I need another surgery there), and I don't even know how many other miscellaneous respiratory infections. Oh, yeah, and covid apparently also damaged my heart.
That's on top of the literal hole in my throat that's growing (and in which meds frequently get stuck), my upper spine injury and related nerve damage, my traumatic brain injury, various lingering issues from the 80s when I was a Cold War soldier, my lower spine injury, osteo- AND rheumatoid arthritis, autism, adhd, bipolar disorder, and probably some things I'm forgetting because brain fog and the aforementioned other brain wonkiness.
When I came here after the deaths of my adult sons and a bad break-up that resulted in my ex trashing all my most precious mementos--including pictures of my dead sons--I admit I was kinda just waiting to die.
But then @thesurestthing slid into my dms, told me she was going to be my gf, and persisted until I caved (best argument I ever lost, btw), so now I have a wonderful wife, and a daughter I desperately need to stay alive for. I need to be there for my daughter while she grows up. (She'll be three in March, and I've been sick for nearly half of her life so far.)
This all means that despite not wanting to, we NEED to move back to the US ASAP, so I can use my Medicare and VA benefits, because even with the low cost of medical care here in SE Asia, we can't afford all the care I need. (Yeah, we set May as a target, but the sooner the better.)
I'm not afraid of death, but I am TERRIFIED of leaving my little girl without her daddy.
So yeah, if you'd like to help us get back to the US so I can like, stay alive to see my daughter grow up, please see this post. Thank you.
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lillianasrose · 1 year ago
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For that one Anon... Hope you enjoy 🤷🏼‍♀️.
Lemme know if y'all want a steamier Part 2. ;)
Billy H x Female ADHD!reader.
Warnings: Cursing and some hot and heavy content that hints at sexual themes... Minors do not interact.
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Hotrod Cinderella
Max owed him, big time.
"This is stupid." He told her, the redhead rolled her eyes.
"Like you had anything better to do? Go mingle or something, Robin's here." Billy liked Robin, referred to her as 'The geeky band chic' but he actually liked her.
So he shrugged and went off to find his favorite person in Max's friend group. She was off in a corner talking to another girl.
"I'm telling you it was like twenty feet hi-" WAP. In all honesty he had been hit harder and most likely the blood wasn't even her fault, he had already gotten into a fight that day and his lip was already kind of swollen. She turned quickly her EC eyes widening, Billy's heart skipped, she was pretty. Robin was giggling into her cup and this girl was staring up at him in shock. Her eyes shifted around the room as people started looking their way.
She grabbed him by his belt and yanked him into the closest room, screw pretty this girl was fucking hot. Billy sat on the sink of the bathroom she had yanked him in.
"I am so so sorry. I-I talk too much and I definitely didn't mean to hit you." She flattened against the door. Suddenly she rushed toward him and he spread his legs apart as she dropped to her knees in front of him. Add sexy to the list, this girl was fucking sexy. She pulled the cabinet open digging around. A first aid kit was thrust into his hand and she used his thigh to stand up. "I ramble a lot and I talk with my hands," she popped up the first aid kit, "I've almost hit Steve in the dick before... Everyone knows not to stand too close.
"Really don't sweat it, it doesn't even hurt." He winced at the end as she lightly dabbed at the cut with disinfectant.
"It doesn't?" She teased smirking.
"Might sting a little." He admonished, sneaking a hand on to her hip. "Will you kiss it better?"
"No." Billy pouted at her.
"I think kissing it better is the least you could do." He told her.
"Is it?" She asked, "The least I could do." She scoffed.
"Especially since you caused it." Billy reiterated. She hopped up slightly on her toes pressing her soft plush lips against the corner of his and then she was gone.
xXx
Billy got back into his car. Coming to Family Video was definitely a mistake.
Robin was sworn to secrecy and Steve was just a dick.
"If I were looking for her, I would check in with the boys and Max at the arcade on Thursdays." Robin whispered to him.
This Thursday they didn't go to the Arcade. Except Dustin.
The kid yelped as Billy snatched him. He pinned him against the side wall
"Whose your hot friend?"
"Steve..?" The kid said immediately. Billy rolled his eyes.
"The chic."
"Robin?"
"No, I know who Robin is. The other one." The kid looked suspicious.
"Ma-" He hit the back of his head.
"Are you stupid or something Amigo. Not. Maxine. The girl with the (color) eyes."
"OH! YN! Yeah she's great isn't she. I heard she bitch slapped you like a d-"
"Kid shut the fuck up. Where can I find her?"
xXx
"YN!" Your Aunt Vera rushed into the back office, "Customer. Young customer, go work your magic." You headed out into the lot in the summer heat. The heels on your boots clacked against the hot pavement carrying you toward the blonde man with broad shoulders leaning into the front of a Corvette.
"It's the new '86 Stingray model," You crossed your hands behind your back, sticking out your chest. "I have to admit not the sex-" he stood, turning to face you fully. It was that boy from the party, the right side of his lip still slightly puffy and red, "Sexiest body on a newer model car but some love the look."
"What would you recommend?" He smirked popping his gum.
'We have a lovely, bright cherry red, 1986 Ferrari Testarossa Straman. One of only twelve that were made convertible." You smirked back at him, "And I'm not just pushing it because I get to be the one to go with you to take it for a test drive." He leaned against the shitty Corvette.
"Sounds like fun."
"I'll get the keys, you head on in there and sign some paper work with the greasy man at the counter, and I'll meet you back out front with the car." You promised him, "Oh! If he asks, tell him you're taking the Pinto, the Ferrari isn't exactly supposed to be taken for test drives."
Billy sighed, stepping out of the building to the most beautiful thing. You. You were leaned up against the car, twirling the keys around your finger while you spied someone else walking through the rows of sports cars with a soft smile on your face. You turned to look at him, pushing your sunglasses on top of your head.
"Heavenly?" You asked indicating to the car under your firm ass. Billy cocked his head.
"Dress you in a skimpy bikini and you'd put the girls in Sports Illustrated to shame." You laughed loudly tossing him the keys. "Too strong?"
"There is nothing you could say that is creepier than some of the things these old men tell me." You promised him. Billy jumped in, driving slowly just until he could no longer be seen by the car dealership before revving the car twice loudly and taking off down the long country road. You laughed happily holding tightly to his thigh.
"Am I scaring you?" He asked loudly over the wind. You turned your head to him smirking as you pressed on his leg, pushing it harder into the gas pedal. You leaned into him
"Faster." You sighed into his ear.
"I'm Billy. Billy Hargrove." He groaned back at you.
"YN." You purred.
Maybe Max didn't owe him that much. Maybe he owed her just a little bit.
You closed your eyes turning your face into the sun.
A lot. He owed Max a lot for dragging him along to that stupid party. She pushed on his chin.
"Watch the road, not me." She scolded lightly.
"How much is this anyways?"
"This car? It isn't for sale, it's mine." She was smiling lazily at him, "Your lip healed up ok."
"So this is how you got away from me so fast, Cinderella."
"Didn't you see the clouds of dirt I left behind so you could come find me?" She asked. Billy smiled.
Let it be known, Billy Hargrove's perfect Cinderella drove a fast cherry red hotrod, punches like a man on complete accident, and has the attention span of a gerbil.
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thatdisasterauthor · 10 months ago
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Meet the Characters: Conifer
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Conifer! Like the other counselors at the camp, Conifer does not use her real name but a nature themed nickname. Conifer is the POV character of the novel.
Conifer had a really interesting evolution as a character because, when I originally wrote the book, I was only vaguely aware of the fact that I probably had some level of ADHD. But by the time I got around to editing it to fully release, I had figured out a lot more about myself including the fact that while I do have ADHD, I'm probably also on the autism spectrum. When I started editing I realized I'd given Conifer a lot of autistic traits that I just hadn't recognized as such at the time. So in that last round of major edits I decided to really lean into it and flesh those traits out.
Conifer's autism is no longer just implied, it is directly on page and discussed. Her choice to self-diagnose is also discussed on page, and her friends are there for her the whole way as the world flips on its head and dumps a ton of new weight on her shoulders in the process.
And I know some people might get grumpy about her being aroace AND autistic but hey, guess what? That's me. Yeah, it can be a bad stereotype. But it's also me. I am all three of those things, so I'm gonna put it in my book.
Here's a little Conifer snippet from the book:
“I miss TikTok,” Tabatha said. She was sprawled out in the dirt and sawdust, looking up at the murky sky. “What’s TikTok?” Conifer asked. Everyone slowly turned to look at her, looking flabbergasted. Even Tabatha raised her head off the ground in what seemed like an uncomfortable position just to be able to see Conifer. “What?” Conifer said, glancing around. “I’m guessing it’s some social media site? I’ve just never heard of it.” “You know…” Marauder said, head tilted, “usually, when people are chronically online, they’re told to go outside and touch grass. You, however, need to go inside and watch a movie or something. A recent movie.”
Back the Kickstarter here!
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Damn I’ve been seeing a good bit of criticism about the pjo show and while everyone can have their opinions on it, so can I. So. (Lemme warn yall this is gonna be a long one)
I’ve seen a lot about how things are being figured out too easily in the show and it’s taking the mystery out of the scenes from the book (i.e. the lotus casino, “aunty em” being Medusa, etc). What this boils down to (to me at least) is that people think the trio is.. too smart??
I get where they’re coming from but if anything? I think that makes everything in the show better compared to the books for a few reasons:
they can focus more on keeping season 1 character-centric and story-driven instead of constantly about action (which sets a lot up for the next 4 seasons when they can dive into all the action because the characters and their motivations/personalities have already been fleshed out and established)
(and much more importantly) the trio is supposed to be smart and somewhat prepared for this quest
Like i get the whole “they’re 12 year old kids” argument but we’re forgetting that they’re not regular kids. Because they do suck at regular people stuff: Percy sucks at driving (ik he’s a kid still), they have a hard time communicating with each other, their relationships are rocky as hell for a while, they don’t do well with listening to or respecting authority figures.
But when it comes to the demigod stuff? There’s a reason they’re all so good at it. For one, it’s explained that the same ADHD and dyslexia that makes their regular lives so difficult, makes it easier to function in the mythic world. And when it comes to each character, lemme go through them one by one.
Annabeth: the literal daughter of the goddess of wisdom and strategy. the girl who learned on her own how to survive using nothing but her quick thinking and wits at 7 years old before being picked up by Luke and Thalia. the girl who spent 5 years training and learning everything she could in hopes of getting a quest to prove herself. and then on top of that, that pride she’s got just pushes her even more to be the smartest and bravest version of herself.
Grover: the satyr whose literal job description is to be a protector of demigods, which means he’s been trained just as much, if not more than annabeth and taught everything he needs to know to shield these demigods while they’re in the real world. He’s smart, adaptable, strong, and has the added advantage of increased senses and a connection to nature and animals that comes in handy.
Percy: whose mother spent his entire life preparing him for this life, knowing one day he was gonna have to do all of this himself. She told him all the stories. She knew as a son of Poseidon, he was gonna have to face all kinds of gods and dangers. And he does constantly use what he’s been taught to get him through whatever he faces. The only reason he seems inexperienced is because he is. He’s only been a demigod for a week at this point. But both Grover and annabeths experience more than make up for this. Because they’re a team and they travel and fight together as one.
They may be 12 year old kids, but they’re not regular people like the rest of us. They’re demigods. And they might still have a lot to learn, but they’re still demigods. They have training! They have amazing instincts! They know the history! The stories!! The Greek tragedies!!! They learned them so that they don’t repeat the same mistakes their ancestors made, and they used that to their advantage at every stage of their quest so far.
So yeah, I’m glad they’re smart enough to know when they’re about to walk into a trap. And I’d hope to god they use these advantages at their disposal, because nothing else they face is gonna be easy regardless. They have no choice but to be ready, it’s literally life or death.
At the end of the day, a complete copy of the book would be so boring as a show. We already read the books. We know what happens. So the changes they’ve made so far have really just been for the better. I love watching smart protagonists that don’t make me yell at the tv when they miss the glaringly obvious!!
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rorimoon9597 · 1 year ago
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I absolutely adore reading about characters that are smarter than they first appear.
Like Percy. Yeah, he can be a bit of a dumbass, but he's also incredibly smart. I saw someone point out that despite not remembering the Greek myths (which can be chalked up to ADHD), as soon as he knows the myth that the creature/deity he's fighting comes from, or what the deity is the god of (if they are a god) he comes up with an idea so quickly. He doesn't share it with us readers, because in modern media a plan being told straight to the people reading/watching means that it'll fail.
The main reason why Rick Riordan uses that when Percy's fighting is to show how he's a strong fighter and incredibly smart, but he doesn't realise it, so the readers don't realise it.
Lance is another favourite of mine. On the outside he's the goofball, the loverboy, the one who cracks jokes whenever.
Yet Lance knows when to be serious. When Keith is chosen by Black to be her next Paladin, he refuses to step into the role. He actually says that he can't lead like Shiro could. Lance says that it's fine, that he doesn't have to be another Shiro, he just has to be Keith, and lead his team into, through, and out of battle.
It's obvious that while Pidge and Hunk are smart regarding engineering and coding, Lance is the smartest when it comes to people. He defends Pidge from Iverson, says that Pidge must've hit her head in the simulator. I don't think that he actually didn't know that Pidge was a girl, but maybe he thought that she was ftm transgender. That's my favourite headcannon, really, because Lance is incredibly smart. He can easily come up with plans during battle, it's just overshadowed by his constant jokes in and outside of battle.
Which is genius. Imagine going for the Paladins of Voltron, or any strong team, and you leave the goofball under the least supervision. They'll figure out a plan to get out of there, and get their entire team out in the process, or get help to get the team out. Yeah, the way that Lance is perceived might not be there to hide how smart he actually is and is more to hide his insecurities, but it serves as a way to make people underestimate him and his abilities.
Any character that jokes around and acts like Lance does is my absolute favourite. If a character acts stupid, or jokes a lot and creates this stigma that they aren't as intelligent or as mature as the rest of their team only to turn around and kick ass, they'll become my favourite.
I actually have characters that are like that, and I think I love them more than the ones that are basically the same, but have an air of seriousness that gives them away easily.
Give me a goofball who acts stupid and silly, but is actually observant, smart, and a total badass. Give me someone who gets along with people so well that no one stops to think that maybe they're giving away information to the enemy.
Give me those people, and I'll be as happy as a dog with a bone.
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one shocking thing that people with ADHD do that makes us the most annoying bitches in disability awareness and acceptance circles
I encourage both ADHD and non-ADHD people to read this, I'm hoping awareness on both sides can lead to reducing some of the hostility I've seen towards people with ADHD in disability circles. And yes, my fellow ADHDers, part of fixing this problem is us doing the work to avoid using communication techniques that can be triggering to people who have experienced ableism.
I want to talk about something I call reciprocal storytelling. Basically, telling a story that is in some way connected to a story someone else just told. Non-ADHD people do it too, but I've noticed people with ADHD do it a lot more than other people. If you ever listen to two people with ADHD have a conversation, it's pretty much a nonstop string of loosely related stories.
So why is this problematic when communicating with other disabled people? Unfortunately, ableist people often weaponize reciprocal storytelling to belittle the experiences of disabled people. I think the easiest way to have people understand this is with an example.
We're going to create a character called Laurie. Laurie has chronic, debilitating knee pain. Laurie just met a woman, Sandra, who injured her knee while running a few years ago. Sandra's injury was painful and interfered with her life quite a bit, but it's healed now. Their conversation goes something like this. Laurie: I can't walk with you up those stairs. Do you want to take the elevator with me so we can keep talking? Sandra: Sure. You know, I had my knee injured once while running. Took me a few months to get back into the swing of things. Something that really helped me was exercising it. Laurie: I'm sorry that happened, knee injuries are the worst, especially if you enjoy being active. Unfortunately working out hasn't helped. The thing that's worked the best has been not pushing myself too hard. Sandra: I thought that too, but I worked through the pain and it eventually went away. You just have to not give up. Laurie: haha, yeah I guess. Well, this is my floor, got to go.
Sandra was ableist in this conversation. She asserted that she could treat Laurie's pain despite knowing nothing about it and having no medical experience. When Laurie said that she had either already tried Sandra's method or thought it would be dangerous, Sandra less-than-subtly hinted that Laurie wasn't trying hard enough to get better. In this conversation, reciprocal storytelling became a tool to make Laurie feel guilty for being disabled. Now, let's look at a scenario of a person with ADHD talking to another disabled person:
Paul has ADHD. He's in a meeting for the disability club at his college. Right now, Ron, a manual wheelchair user, is talking about an experience he had on campus. Ron: I went to Professor Smith's class today and when I got there, there was a chair halfway blocking the door. I asked him to move it so I could get into the classroom and he told me to move it myself. Obviously, that's going to be really difficult for me to do since I have to use my hands to propel. I asked again for it to be moved and he called me lazy. Paul: Oh, Professor Smith was ableist to me last semester! I have an accommodation to sit in the front of the class. When I got there one day there were no front-row seats available. When I went to him he told me seats were first come first serve and that I should have the self control to pay attention to him and not the people in front of me.
To a person with ADHD, this conversation may seem harmless and non-ableist. It's just one person sharing a story related to another person's story. In fact, Paul might have even been trying to add credibility to Ron's story and encourage him to report it. However, this is not how Ron, a person who has likely experienced ableism, would probably interpret this conversation. To him, this might come across as Paul trying to make this experience about him and take attention away from what he had experienced. Or, it might come across as saying that having trouble paying attention in class because of a professor's actions is the same as being physically barred from entering a class because of a professor's actions. Either way, Ron is likely to leave the conversation feeling that Paul values talking about his own disability over listening to the experiences of others. Eventually, if this happens too often, Ron and other members of the group may begin to resent Paul for his perceived self-centeredness.
So how do we fix this? One, on the part of people with ADHD, practice active listening, try to make sure others are done speaking before you begin, and avoid jumping into talking about yourself without giving any feedback to what you just heard. For people without ADHD, communicating how you feel and why is key. The ADHD people in your life might not know they're hurting you if you don't tell them. Even if the ADHD person initially responds with hurt or offense, this doesn't mean the conversation failed. A lot of people with ADHD also have rejection-sensitive dysphoria and may need time to calm down and think about what you said before they can apply it.
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