#i thought the imagery was cool and creepy
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hey I removed the comic I made yesterday bc I panicked over some negative comments lol
#I deleted it#bc I got super paranoid#it was maybe too disturbing I guess#i thought the imagery was cool and creepy#but I started spiraling the morning over people hating it#so I deleted it from everywhere I posted it#to be clear not really the people who posted negative comments faults#I just am. mentally ill#and i guess i took it too far with that comic#tho I had some people tell me it was cool ! so that’s nice#but my brain says no#oops oh well#we out here. I guess#idk I think I’m just spiraling in general rn#I can feel my monthly mental health downturn coming on#(period)#😔🥲😬#anyway nothing against the ppl who wrote negative comments !! all love#I don’t think they did anything wrong#lol
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While I’m on my horror kick (sorry it’s finals week and I need smth to obsess over) thinking about how I would LOVE to draw horror/macabre themed tutu art. I mean fucking hell if we assume the main characters of the prince and the raven are around mytho’s age, princess tutu is about a bunch of dead kids and the next group of children doomed to relive their fates!! Then you’ve got all the raven stuff + things going weird because of the heart shards. THEN you’ve got the horror of complete loss of autonomy (fakir physically being forced to write Duck’s death, duck being forced to dance). Idk I’m sleepy but there is a horror take on princess tutu out there and I want to see it.
#I would loveeeee to draw like#hmmm#there’s a certain aesthetic style that I think is attributed to Tim burton but I don’t think it’s ACTUALLY all from Tim burton#Henry selick erasure#anyways like in the vein of the aesthetics of coraline and the corpse bride#plus dark old fairytales#I’m just formulating some thoughts here#and puppet imagery!!#there’s a lot there#anyways ahahah I’m the guy who loves cute and silly things and also things that are terrifying#I’m the guy who’s like my fav movies are include finding Nemo and the Blair witch project <3#anyways creepy/horror tutu!!!!!#so much potential#would make some cool art but I need to think about how I would do it#lea talks
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“good ending emesis blue” “emesis red” what about emesis blue worst ending? just the absolute worst ending possible.
Ok so I’m not sure if it’s really the worst thing but I thought of something cool (horrifying)
WARNING for body horror, blood, gore, open wounds/bones, unreality and just creepy stuff (not coloured or shaded but still there) plus some religious imagery
What if they all respawned at once and got stuck together….. tadaaaa
I might repost this coloured or shaded if I get the time bc I really like it :>
#I just go back and forth with my emesis blue content#good ending!! WORST ENDING good ending! cute! WORST POSSIBLE SCENARIO#but fr I’m still hyped about emesis blue#ask#art#tf2#roger's art#tf2 fanart#fanart#team fortress two#team fortress 2#emesis blue#emesis blue tf2#emesis blue medic#emesis blue scout#emesis blue soldier#emesis blue demoman#emesis blue engineer#emesis blue spy#tf2 medic#tf2 scout#tf2 spy#tf2 soldier#tf2 demoman#tf2 engineer#jeez the tags
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Unsolicited tma rant no one asked for:
I’ve been thinking a bit about exactly what makes me like the Magnus archives so much, cause I’m not really into horror anthology. Yeah, it’s a good aspect of the genre, but it’s never really caught my interest that much. And I consider myself a fan of horror, but I don’t actually like that many horror movies that much. I like it as a genre, and watching video essays about it, about how different horror affects us, that sort of thing. Horror doesn’t even make me scared usually. I’ll flinch at jump scares of course, but it’s pretty rare that I’m watching a horror movie and be genuinely afraid of the murderer or demon or whatever’s on screen.
Tma even took me a while to get into. I started it maybe in October or November? And it took me until January to get even a dozen episodes in. It was good, but I was really just waiting until it got to the good bits that made everyone love it so much. I knew there was some sort of meta plot, and had a cannon gay ship, that was all I knew when I started, and the reason I kept on with it. I hate to say it, but if I didn’t know even that, I don’t think I would have listened to more than a couple episodes, because short self contained stories isn’t what I’m interested in. Especially when there’s a magic Latin book and a coffin with knocking (I thought it would be a vampire or something) or some weird thing luring people into alleys to kill them. I took those early episodes to be generic devil worship sort of horror, that the weird details were added in just to add to the spook. That’s something that tends to bother me with horror movies, when there’s all this dark magic just for the sake of dark magic, and ends with this big question or realization that can’t be solved. And I do understand ending movies with something the audience can’t understand, because the mystery and strangeness can add to the horror. But I really dislike this, I’m all cool with hard or impossible to understand endings, don’t get me wrong, but when there’s no way to theorize, no dots to start connecting, I find that really frustrating. A good example (I can’t find what movie it is, so if someone know lmk) is a movie with the classic family moves into large old house, creepy basement, with satanic sort of imagery. I did actually like most of it, the stairs to the basement were normal, until there was a ball knocked down them when the light was off, and you could hear it keep going far longer than the actual staircase was. That these stairs kept going for who knows how long when the light is off. What I didn’t like was the end, where we got to see what was at the bottom of these endless stairs, and there’s long lines of people in this void, just standing there. But there was no explanation for this, no way to start theorizing as to what this could be, why it happens.
This is what I thought TMA was gonna be. Each episode never really ended with an explanation, or a way to theorize (early on) and I thought it would stay that way. I remember in January I was finally listening to more on a plane ride, and got to ep22, Martin’s statement about Jane Prentiss. It wasn’t even this specific episode that got me interested, not fully. I did like the worms, description of Jane prentiss, all that but it was when I kinda realized there was something to theorize about, that there was actually something going on behind the scenes. And it kept me listening. It was a bit frustrating how slow the season seemed to go, because I wanted to know what the worms were about, and I admit I rushed through a few episodes, again, thinking they were just filler short stories to break apart the real meat of it. The episode I think that really sealed the deal was strange music, specifically the bit between Sasha and Jon, I wasn’t too interested in creepy clown dolls, but that silly little debate over how to pronounce calliope was honestly charming. Like “oh, these characters aren’t gonna be overdramatized horror movies characters, at least not too much.” Once I got to the season 1 finale I was obsessed and basically finished the rest in two or three weeks (I listened to the last 120 episode in a single week).
And good lord Jonny I am SO SORRY I DOUBTED YOU. Because none of it was creepy books or creepy dolls or weird coffins for the hell of it, you weren’t actually left with no idea of what the ending meant. You just had to listen to Jon as he because paranoid and pulled out the red string, pulling all the pieces together for you until we finally got the big picture. I never once expected the fears, or avatars, or that Robert smirk was anything but a weird architecture, that Jonah Magnus was anything but a stuffy old man who founded the institute. And that’s why I think I love TMA so much, is there really is a big satisfying pay out as a listener, I didn’t even put the dots together myself and it’s still gratifying. The slow realization that these episodes aren’t just horror for the sake of horror, they have a reason, an explanation, and it still manages to keep a level of mystery and unknowability that makes you just always want to know more. Re-listening has been genuinely so fun, because especially with later episodes I’m able to connect those dots, and see the full picture as it unravels. The thing in the dark alley wasn’t targeting smokers to be spooky, it was a monster collecting victims to use in a ritual, and that addiction is part of the web.
So yeah, that was probably really redundant, but I just really love that slow reveal, all the little bits you can connect, and theories you can make. Jonathan Sims forgive me for ever doubting your writing, I see now you’re a genius, please give me your brain, I need it for my own creativity. Thanks for coming to my ted talk
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@sockdooe I first encountered this supposed explanation in the comments section of a fanfiction, so it is to be taken with a grain of salt, but I read that Shiro's design was primarily based on what the showrunners thought "looked cool". This includes the prosthetic grafted onto his person by his captors, the scar across his face, and the shock of white fringe in his otherwise naturally dark hair. And, I won't lie, his design serves its purpose. Shiro immediately draws the eye, and not just because of his usual placement front and center in the standard team line up.
It's reasonable for the sort of space soldier, G.I. Joe type of character the staff intended Shiro to be to have these sorts of physical characteristics.
It's also completely reasonable in a Sci-Fi/Action show for a villain as menacing and ruthless as Sendak to have a similarly distinct, eye-catching design. Such features as a sinister, gleaming, red bionic eye, and massive prosthetic arm powered by a core of glowing, magical electric energy pulsing in a line from shoulder to forearm stand out, are easily memorable, and make him instantly recognizable as a really Bad Guy.
The idea of Shiro being a sort of "light, heroic mirror" to Sendak, which the show introduced and continued to attempt to enforce all the way up to Sendak's death, sits incredibly uneasily with me, however. As I've made explicit several times, before.
Content Warning for discussion of sexual assault/rape.
We're shown the recurrent imagery of Sendak looming over and behind an incapacitated Shiro.
Shiro's instinctive response to seeing Sendak heading toward him is to back away out of fear before steeling himself and resolving to fight, if only to protect the Castle and an unconscious Lance.
The very first thing that Shiro says to Sendak is, "You're not getting in", to which Sendak replies, "Yes. I am".
Coran suggests that the Galra might keep him and Hunk as, "some sort of creepy pet to play with how they please", in an appeal to Shay and Rax for assistance concealing their presence on the Balmera.
There's genuine contempt in Shiro's voice when he asks Sendak, "What do you want?", prior to his torture at Sendak's hands.
Sendak delivers a stomach-churning gloating little speech after torturing Shiro via electric shock.
And, Rolo refers to Sendak as a, "real nasty bugger", a term that has an exceptionally crude colloquial meaning.
Now, maybe I'm a cynical weirdo who is reading far too deeply into this, and connecting dots that aren't there. But...
Shiro bears a much stronger resemblance to Berserk's Guts than the Takashi Shirogane from the original Go Lion! that he's named after. Guts is a famous survivor of childhood sexual abuse, having been sold by his adoptive father and purchased for use as a sex slave by an ugly hulking pederast.
There were obvious Neon Genesis Evangelion fans working on this show, and Rei Ayanami, the character that Shiro's story seems to reference with the sheer excess of clones created using his DNA, is also a victim of sexual abuse.
(There's even, arguably, influence taken from The Legend of the Blue Wolves, a relatively obscure yaoi OVA largely set at a military facility which trains soldiers and pilots for combat missions in deep space. It features an extended scene with a virtual flight simulator, and one of the two male leads is-- wouldn't you know it? Raped by an ugly hulking monster.)
Correlation does not imply causation, and perhaps the similarities are entirely superficial, and we're not meant to think too hard about them.
Yet, with the amount of scrutiny that a series as utterly wholesome and innocuous as Bluey is constantly under, I cannot buy for a minute that a series Netflix gave a TV Y7 rating to didn't undergo some level of screening to ensure that its content was appropriate for the intended child audience. Someone had to have asked the staff if bugger was the term they meant to use, aware of the disturbing, far less than child-friendly implications, and was met with a resounding confirmation.
Beyond that, extended proximity to even an imprisoned and inanimate Sendak sends Shiro spiraling into a psychological break down.
Shiro's intensely traumatic experiences in captivity, which his brain seems to have largely repressed in order to protect him ("It's all a blur.") would, by themselves, be enough to convince him that he's been broken and reshaped into something monstrous. His bodily autonomy was, unquestionably, brutally violated, and his innately altruistic, self-sacrificing nature was violently challenged when he was forced to kill or be killed for his captors' entertainment. His right arm was taken from him and replaced with a weapon, and he has the blood of who knows just how many innocents on his hands. He was, indeed, broken down in an attempt to reform him into the Galra Empire's "greatest weapon", and likely very much wars with himself over what he had to do to ensure his own survival, believing himself to be a monster.
What really stands out to me, though, is that this intense, primal terror and the accompanying feelings of "brokenness" and "monstrousness" only surface around Sendak. Despite also being associated with and direct causes of his trauma, neither Haggar nor Zarkon rattle Shiro to his core the way Sendak does.
Neither of them are insistent on drilling into Shiro's head how "broken" he supposedly is, as Sendak is shown doing over and over again. Including taunting Shiro over the non-consensual modifications to his body.
Harboring a deep sense of shame, and viewing themselves as something dirty, ugly, disgusting, broken, or even monstrous is an experience common among survivors of sexual abuse.
Having Shiro's physical condition repeatedly mirror his personal tormentor's would be sick and twisted enough.
Adding the context of rape or sexual abuse to Shiro's torment makes the creative decision to intentionally model his arm after his abuser's outright sadistic.
No one deserves to have a constant physical reminder of their abuser and rapist permanently attached to their person. And, attempting to paint Shiro as a "heroic mirror" to Sendak fails entirely when Shiro doesn't so much as get to best Sendak in combat once.
All of the points you've raised about the function and structure of prosthetics are amazing, informative, and highly appreciated. (The comment about Shiro's abominable floating arm looking like it wouldn't be able to support the weight of a grocery bag makes me laugh.) Sadly, there's a faction of the fanbase who are all too quick to fetishize that arm, like everything else surface-level about Shiro. I've seen a number of fics where its ability to be propelled a great distance with a single thought is used to pleasure a partner while Shiro, himself, is in a different room, where the arm is equipped with a vibrating function for use as a sex toy, and, of course, where the thickness of its fingers is sexualized for... the same reason the bulge in the crotch of Shiro's pants is.
(I beg this fandom to stop reducing this man to a seme stereotype because of his physical build and height. Nothing in his personality suggests that he would be anything even approximating that cursed archetype. Let him be a pillow princess, for God's sake, like he deserves.)
This reply took me forever, and I am sincerely sorry about that. I hope you find something worthwhile in this haphazard collection of thoughts.
And, "Sendick" is how I'm going to be mentally referring to that creep from now on.
#Correspondence.#sockdooe#Takashi Shirogane#Shiro#You're nothingness but shining and everywhere at once.#Sendak#Voltron: Legendary Defender#Meta.#VLD Meta.#All I want is to fly with queue.#I want to apologize again for this response taking me so long to get out.#The topic of Shiro and Sendak and the VLD showrunners' attempts to keep turning Shiro into some sort of heroic 'mirror' of him disgusts and#infuriates me.#It brings up a lot of thoughts and I wanted to do something with them.#I hope you don't mind and I hope this analysis wasn't too upsetting for anyone.#The last thing I want to do is upset someone. :(
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Hey fellas!!
Haven't posted here in a good while I dont think, so I thought Id show some doodles from a horror game/ARG I recently got into (Shipwrecked 64)! Honestly, I discovered it a week or so ago and I've been obsessed ever since!
CW; Creepy imagery, blood etc. Procceed at your own risk
Work in progress piece I started today (this scene destroyed me... U_U)
Doodles of Vandal, Stumbler O' Hare, and (my personal favourite) Giovanni I did when I was first learning how to draw them :D
Last but not least, some magma drawings from today of some of the characters :D !!!!!
Hopefully I should have the WIP piece done soon! (Ive also just realised I forgot to put my signature ;v;'')
This game is so cool and if youre a huge fan of ARGs and horror like I am, definitely go check it out! It is a little graphic though at times, so be warned!
Could not praise this game enough from the visuals, the audio, the unique story and characters, it freaked me out like no other horror media has done in YEARS! Which is a massive compliment btw. Very well done!
#shipwrecked 64#giovanni goose#stumbler o’hare#Chief wulf#Shipwrecked#Horror#ARG#broadside beach#Broadside animation#artwork#magma drawings#magma art#Definitely reccomend this game :3#We're also gonna ignore how I misspelled Stumbler's name XD
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transfem law x transfem mc?
you're the only bitch that i fucking respect in this town
4700+ words, general warning for some discussed transmisogyny and cw for. uh. animal death, death descriptions, genital mutilation descriptions and shade towards true crime girls.
cross posted on ao3 cus it's long and i want attention :)
"You know, if you brought me out here to kill me, I'm going to be pretty upset."
You smiled in spite of your dark joke as you followed behind Law, them leading the way through the brush after driving you to the woods outside of town. Their long arms pushed aside tree branches for you to pass and kept hold of your hand, so you didn't get lost in the dark.
You'd met Law at therapy after a particularly rough stint at the psych ward, when they still went by 'Lawrence' and you were barely six months on hormones and still got clocked on a regular basis (including by them on your first meeting).
Now, it had been a year, you'd had your first consultation for sexual reassignment surgery (and it had gone successfully), and Law had made some…well, discoveries of their own.
It was nice, having a friend like them, and you liked their company.
"No, no, no,” They said, looking back at you over their shoulder. “I know it’s strange to be out here this late, but…this isn’t what it seems..."
“I know, Law,” You interrupted with a laugh, squeezing their hand a little tighter. "I'm only teasing. "
They took things a little literally at times, a symptom of the disorder that had landed them at therapy in the first place.
You didn’t mind correcting yourself for them, though.
"Oh...right...okay.” They said with a nervous chuckle, reaching back to scratch their neck. “I…um, I just wanted to make sure.”
Their grip tightened around yours for just a moment before going back to normal as they led you deeper into the brush.
It was a dark night, way later than you were usually out (you were, regrettably, somewhat of a morning person later in life), but it was a peaceful kind of dark.
The kind of dark that swallowed people whole and kept them safe, surrounded, like an all-encompassing hug, a pill bug under a log, a baby in the womb, a tapeworm in your twisting guts, worming around your insides and looking for the closest thing it could burrow deeper into.
You squeezed their hand harder and gave your head a little shake, trying to rid yourself of the gruesome imagery, as they pulled you into a quiet clearing of the brush.
The night was clear and cool, and the full moon was out, casting a glow on everything in the surrounding area, something beautiful and...almost otherworldly.
Like for just this one moment, the entire world was on pause and you were the only two people that existed.
It was a nice thought.
"This is it..."Law murmured softly, a little breathless as they stepped and pulled you into the clearing, looking around the small space like a child excited to share a new toy with their friend.
It was a canopy of thick trees surrounding a flat patch of ground, a blue tarp laid out to one side and three tall barrels with tight lids on top of them covered by a similar tarp, hiding whatever the barrels held from prying eyes.
“Cool, if a little creepy. Very Dahmer-esque. I’m into it.” You joked as Law let go of your hand and clenched their long, bony fingers together in front of them. "So, what did you wanna show me, Law?"
"Oh...right, yes. Just..." Law looked at you, those same nervous eyes shining brightly in the dim moonlight, taking in a deep breath before speaking more quietly, their voice dropping to a soft whisper. "Close your eyes for a second, alright? Please?"
“Alright…”
You did as you were told and closed your eyes, your own fingers (not as long but just as bony) curling against the denim of your shorts.
If they did decide to kill you, now would be a fantastic time to do it. You had ignored every red flag and word of advice against doing this just to be here, after all.
“Stay Sexy, Don’t Get Murdered”, your hate-listen podcast had warned that morning, while you walked to work.
What were you doing, ‘getting ugly, waiting to get murdered?’
While your eyes were closed (while your mind was spiralling about their potential bad intentions), Law pulled off and stepped around the crinkling plastic tarp to pry off the lid of one of the barrels.
The smell was putrid, like rot, like death, and immediately hit you like a truck, making your expression wrinkle without even knowing the source.
"Oh, jesus," You murmured, covering your face with the sleeve of your overshirt to try and mask the smell. “What is that?”
“I’m just finding something,” Law said, their voice soft over the sound of sloshing water. They must have been sifting through the mange without gloves (ew) for a good while before it stopped. “Okay…okay, here it is, open your eyes.”
You opened your eyes obediently and saw that they were holding something out for you to see.
Their hands (big, pretty, bigger than yours, made you feel small, made you feel delicate) were sopping wet and almost blue from the cold, but they looked so eager to show you what they had, that it didn’t matter.
Your eyes widened and you gaped a little wider when you recognised...what looked like an animal corpse that had been pulled from the water.
It might have been a rabbit, a hare or maybe even a small dog, if you had to guess, well past the initial stages of decomposition, with mangy flesh melting off the brown bones, wet and murky fur falling to Law’s feet in clumps.
When you looked from the corpse and back to them, Law's grey eyes (usually so dead and dull, but now open and unnervingly alive) shined as a genuine smile came to their pretty face.
The sheer look of excitement on their face was endearing, and you suppressed your initial disgust to share that smile with them.
“I know this isn't the kind of activity you sign up for when you go on a date..." They said, idly licking their lips, their eyes going back down to the corpse as they turned it around, showing you the protruding rib cage and the heavy skull, where most of the gore had rotted away. “But, I just...I wanted to share something I was proud of with someone...someone I feel comfortable with. Someone I care about."
They said such sweet things so thoughtlessly. You envied that about them.
"No, it's..." You laughed, looking a little flustered as you scraped your hair behind your ears and scratched your neck. Was this a date? Had you known, you might have dressed a little nicer and put some foundation on. "It's cool, Law…I appreciate you showing this to me."
“Really?” They said, huffing out a surprised laugh and holding the bones a little closer to their chest. “Oh…ah, that’s…a relief, I suppose. I was nervous that you would think it’s strange, or gross…” They rambled as they turned around and set the corpse onto the tarp carefully, wiping the worst of the gore off on their sweatpants.
“I mean, it is gross.” You laughed, choosing to be honest with them. “But, like, a cool kind of cross. Like those vulture-culture blogs, they do stuff like this too.” You stepped around the clearing and towards them, watching as they knelt down to the tarp and started scraping melted flesh and viscera from the bones with their fingernails. You assumed there were probably better tools to do the task, but said nothing. “What is it, like, roadkill or something?"
"Uhh..."
Their hands stilled at your question, skin stained with black from the gore and still blue from the cold.
They barely reacted to it, if at all.
"No...well, yeah, it might've been already dead before I..." They mumbled, floundering around their words before eventually trailing off with a little, desperate whimper, shame and immense guilt in their expression.
That answered that, then.
You peered towards them as their words trailed off, a slightly sympathetic look on your face.
"You...didn't kill it, did you, Law?" You asked gently, squatting down on the other side of the corpse, lowering yourself down to their level.
It was an important way of establishing a connection, you had been told once, never putting levels between you and a friend or loved one. Sometimes people did the opposite, to be unnerving or intimidating, to designate themselves as a voice of authority and someone to be trusted.
Men did it, mostly. It was important for you to never do something like that.
Law swallowed, unable to look you in the eye, but you received a slow, guilty, nod to your question. It was almost sheepish, like they were a little kid who had just gotten caught doing something they shouldn’t.
Their hands were shaking, but you had a sense that it wasn’t a reaction to the cold.
"I...I..." Their fingers curled into tight, little fists. "I...yeah...I did..."
There was fear in their soft voice, but also a strange kind of…relief.
Relief that they had been able to tell the truth to someone, someone who had heard them out this far, someone they were happy to tell the truth to.
"Ah," You mumbled with a little sigh, wrapping your arms around your knees. "That's a shame…”
That wouldn't go down well in therapy. But hey, you weren't a therapist.
“But...” You started, licking your lips and trying to meet their eyes with a gentle smile. “I mean, if you don't do it again...I think that’s okay."
“Really…?” They replied, unclenching their fingers and looking back at you, a slight smile tugging at their lips. "I...I won't, I promise."
They were quiet again, idly pulling at a tuft of wet fur still clinging to the bones and rubbing it between the callouses of their fingers. It can’t have been very soft, but you guessed that it was still a decent self-soothing method.
“It’s just…I mean, I go to therapy for a reason, you know that.” They said, digging their grubby fingernail into the bundle of fur. “I see things, I hear things. I get this…urge, sometimes. To…mmph-”
They went quiet quickly, looking back down and biting their lip, as if afraid of losing control of what they were saying.
But you had a good sense of what they were about to say.
You knew the type of girl that Law was.
"Yeah...I get that," You mumbled quietly with a considered tilt of your head, taking a closer look at the poor creature who died so your friend didn’t shoot up a shopping mall (though you had a sense that Law wasn’t the type to own a gun). "I do, I do get it.”
You clutched your knees tighter and let out a slightly shaky sigh.
“I mean, I never killed animals or anything, but, like,” You huffed out a laugh and pushed a shaking hand through your hair, aghast by what you were about to admit. “Okay, um…when I was a teenager, I'd look at these…gore sites. LiveLeaks, BestGore, that shit…”
Law’s eyes snapped up to yours, stunned by your sudden outpouring of honesty.
“It was initially, like, something I did with my friends. You know, dumb teenage boys doing dumb teenage boy stuff,” You said, feeling a little fondness for the edgy snot-rag you had been at fourteen years old. “Then I’d do it by myself. I was curious, at first, and then…it was also just to...feel something. Something other than how I felt, you know? Something other than hatred."
Law let out a little hum and nodded their head.
"Yeah…me too, actually.” A shaky smile came to their face. “I would...I used to browse the dark web a lot, to see those kinds of things. To feel something, like you…um, like you said."
"Yeah. It's, like, a right of passage for girls like us, right?" You replied with a little chuckle, fiddling with your hair. You had cut your bangs too short and were now sporting, what your chronically online friend called, a ‘fuck-ass bob’. You had grown your hair out for so long, but now felt the bob kind of suited you. “I know way too many to count…”
“Girls like us…” Law repeated thoughtfully, trying to laugh along as well, a shy look on their face as a flush came to their pale cheeks.
You looked up and tried to smile as normally as you could.
"Um…” They started, after a short beat of silence. “So…you know what you asked before...about if I was bringing you out here to kill you?"
"Uh oh," You mumbled, trying to make a joke in spite of the sudden churning in your stomach.
"Wait, no...no, I...-"
They barked out a strange little laugh, before covering their mouth with their dry sleeve, trying to cut themselves off from laughing any more, any louder.
"I wasn't...I'm still not. You don’t have to worry about…about that.” They trailed off, seeming about to say something before they bit their lip again. Finally, they spoke, looking up into your eyes. “But, I've thought about it a few times...killing you."
You swallowed hard, your smile dropping a little.
"Oh..."
“Don’t freak out,” They said quickly, their grey eyes widening a little. The life in them had subsided, just a touch, replaced by a deadened sort of…mania, like they were getting ready to do something drastic.
What were red flags again?
‘Stay Ugly, Do Get Throttled and Killed in a Forest Clearing’.
That would do numbers, if you still cared about doing numbers.
“I just…I wanted to be honest with you.” They then said, derailing your train of thought. “I don’t want to hide things from you. I don’t…like hiding things from people I care about.”
They looked back down, their shoulders sagging and hiding a miserable expression on their face.
“You’re probably going to think I'm crazy, right? M-Maybe I am..."
"No, it's..." You reached over and grabbed their hand. "It's okay, Law.” You said with an encouraging smile, that was now shaking a little. You might have been stupid, but you weren’t so idiotic that you weren’t a little scared. “Thinking about something and doing it are…like, two totally different things, Law."
Law stared at your hand for a moment, gripping it tightly (almost too tightly, bone-crushingly tight, making you look so small again) before letting their grip ease with a sigh.
“You’re…unreal,” They murmured with a disbelieving laugh. They kept their eyes down, still focused on the gore on the blue tarp in front of them. “If I said that to anyone else, they’d think I was…some deranged freak and get me put away.”
"Well, what kind of a person would I be if I did that?" You mumbled, rubbing your thumb over their bony, blue knuckles.
"A person with common sense, I guess..." Law chuckled a little strangely, hollow, not totally there, their grip tightening again. They seemed oddly pleased by the contact, though, even if there was also a little bit of uncertainty to go along with that excitement.
"Well, I've never pretended to have any of that," You continued with your own chuckle, before biting your lip. "And I’ve been to a psych ward, so I’d never put someone there. But…” You hesitated. “I mean…how...would you do it?"
"Hmm?" Law blinked for a moment, still holding your hands in theirs. "You mean...how I would kill you?"
"Mm..." You hummed, and you felt yourself tremble.
It was the cold of the night and the wet skin against yours that was making you shake.
That’s what you were telling yourself. It can’t have possibly been for any other reason.
Law’s head canted to the side as they watched your trembling form. Their grey eyes narrowed slightly, like a cat watching and playing with a mouse before it was about to leap and strike.
They didn't let go of your hand for even a second either.
If anything, their grip only tightened.
"You're nervous..." They said.
"Yeah," You replied with a nod.
"You're trembling..." They said, as they leaned closer to you.
"Yeah," You replied again with a little sigh.
“You’re beautiful.” They whispered, bringing their face down to yours, chapped lips tracing yours but not closing the gap just yet, waiting for you to do it.
This close, you could smell the putrid water and the smell of rot and plant matter and sweat that clung to their skin, sweet and murky and dead, like their eyes, like their gaze.
A beautiful dead girl, waiting for you.
“How would you kill me, Law?” You asked again, more sure of anything than you had ever been before.
They huffed out another little chuckle with a slight shake of their head, their blunt bangs choppy on their forehead.
They probably cut their hair the same way you did, with kitchen scissors in the mirror.
The tattooed, septum-ringed girls and they-thems at the ‘all-inclusive’ hairdresser in town always cut your hair too short (something something haircuts don’t have gender, easy for them to say) so you did it at home, split ends be damned.
Was Law the same way, now?
“You’re asking for trouble,” They mumbled hotly, their lips still grazing yours as they held your hand even tighter, their fingers still covered in the watery viscera of the dead animal.
“Probably,” You replied with a little nod. “Tell me. Please?”
The words hung in the air between you for a good minute or two (though it could have been hours for all you cared), a quiet, intense silence filling the clearing.
For some reason, the air suddenly felt thick, almost hard to breathe, like you were in one of those barrels, suffocating and trying not to drown.
Your shorts were tights and your fishnets were clinging a little too tightly to your legs, too tight to be as comfortable as they had been.
"I don't know," Law mumbles quietly, honestly, watching as you shift forward on your knees, feeling the crinkle of the tarp sweat against your skin. "I thought about a lot of different ways..."
"Yeah?" You asked, watching as they did the same, unfolding their long legs and sitting on the ground, taking up space. You were always told not to do that, by girls like you, but Law didn't have that same concern. They hadn't been taught to hate themselves in that way. "What's your favourite?"
"Hah," They let out a breathy laugh and shook their head again. "The same way I killed that dog-"
So, it was a dog.
Your stomach turned and you just hoped to fucking God that it was a stray, not a beloved family pet with missing posters now pasted up around the town.
"I'd break your neck and..." They held your hands even tighter and you finally noticed that your fingers were now also streaked with blackened gore, like they were infecting you with the same disease that had infected them and made them so perfect for you. "Put you inside of those barrels."
You let out a little whimper, looking down at your trembling legs as they curled up with Law's, your body subconsciously wanting to be closer to them
Your cock was throbbing under your tight shorts too, despite your turning stomach.
"And watch you melt away," They continued, raising one hand to cup your jaw (hard, chiselled, any threat of stubble burned away months ago) and bringing your lips even closer together. "And keep everything left behind. Bones, hair, matted flesh.” Their lips spread into a sick grin, the rictus smile of a corpse. “Wouldn't that be wonderful?"
"Yes," You murmured, your eyes half-lidded and dazed as you stared at them, captured by the dead beauty in those grey eyes. "It would be...wonderful."
They smiled again, and gently kissed your lips.
This wasn't the first time the two of you had kissed, far from it, but something about it felt that way.
Like in the wake of your shared honesty, you were now two brand new people meeting for the very first time, finding each other in the darkness and curling together, twin centipedes in a tree trunk, worms in the dirt, mated maggots in the gore you were streaked with.
You keened in closer, holding their hand tight and parting their chapped lips with your pierced tongue, deepening the kiss in a way you knew they wouldn't.
You didn't mind taking the lead at times.
As long as they did it, most of the time.
"Mm," They moaned quietly, pushing their hand through your dark hair and curling it into a fist, gripping a thick handful of it and using it to wrangle you even closer, to bite down on your gasping lips and take you, as they wanted to.
You didn't mind the pain. You didn't mind the sting of their teeth on your lips or their hands in your hair.
It made you feel a little more like a woman.
Your cock stirred again.
If you were still online, admitting to something like that probably would have earned you a sternly worded anonymous message, filled with buzz words like ‘autogynophilia’ and ‘male socialisation’ and reminding you ‘you should really do better to unlearn your male privilege if you want to be considered safe to this community’.
You weren’t online though.
You hadn’t been back online since your main account got banned for ‘violating community guidelines’ and your fundraiser for facial feminisation surgery got taken down after a wave of mass-reporting, a result of a particularly bad faith call-out post from one of the myriad of trolls that plagued you.
That might have put you in a psych ward two years ago, but you knew you were better without it now.
After all, if you were still online, you probably wouldn’t have met Law.
Law pulled back from the kiss, a thin line of spittle attaching your lips that they licked away, the deep depth of their eyes softening a little as they let go of your hands.
"Can I," They started, reaching down to the crotch of your shorts and pressing a palm against it. You groaned through grit teeth and instantly held their broad shoulders, shifting your hips forward against them, the cool expanse of their palm making you shiver, despite the layers of fabric that separated your skin. "Can I touch your cock?"
"Mmhmm," You nodded, biting your lip.
You took in another groan as they slowly unbuttoned and unzipped your shorts and peeled down your fishnets and panties, finding your cock (a little soft thanks to its tight tuck through the day, but you couldn't manage a full erection most of the time anymore anyway) and giving it a light squeeze.
It was a somewhat awkward motion, but you didn’t blame them that much.
They were never really sure what to do with your cock, which was why they generally preferred to play with your asshole, to tease it with their fingers and their tongue, before penetrating it completely.
You would have preferred that too, especially when you were feeling as vulnerable as you were, but you were in a dirty forest clearing without a condom or any lube. And you might have been dumb enough to follow an animal killer with murderous fantasies about you into that forest, but you weren’t dumb enough to attempt anal sex without the right prep.
You didn’t hate yourself enough.
"What else, hah," You gasped against their trembling lips, holding their shirt tighter in your curled fists as they worked their own fist up and down your soft length, trying to encourage it to a degree of hardness. They probably weren’t going to manage such a feat, but you did appreciate the effort that they were going to for it. "What else have you thought about, Law?"
"Hm?" They looked up at your needy expression, a blush quickly gathering in your cheeks when they saw it, saw your narrowed eyes, your parted lips.
"Tell me how you'll kill me again," You pleaded, reaching down with one hand to grope their own cock through their sweatpants, as the other unbuttoned your plaid overshirt and rolled your tank top up your chest, revealing your pale breasts.
Your nipples were perky in the cold air and Law immediately dipped their head to run their tongue over them, despite your request for them to keep talking.
"Mm," You moaned, all the same, pushing the hand through their hair and guiding their tongue to the ripe bud of your nipple. "Give me a good one, Law...come on."
"Ah," They groaned when you gave their cock another firm squeeze, trying to alert their attention to what you wanted. "I want...mm, I want to take you back to my apartment...and tie you up there." They moaned hotly against your skin, thin hips bucking when your fist tightened at their words. "Cut out your spine so I can...hah, so I can keep it."
You felt a pulse of white-hot heat rush through your body and straight to your cock at that mental image, of you bound (and maybe gagged, like the damsels in movies were, the first kind of womanhood you related to in your boyhood) on the bed where you'd fucked so many times before.
Law would be the hulking slasher villain, they’d have a knife, and they would be standing over you, waiting for the perfect time to strike, when you had gotten so worked up and hysterical that they could really enjoy your death all the more.
"Fuck," You groaned deeply (because fuck the voice training right now), bucking your hips as you felt your cock start to twitch and harden in their hand. "God, that’s so hot. What's wrong with me..."
"Hmph," They huffed out a fond laugh, teasing the bud of your nipple with their crooked teeth, making you whine needily and grip them even tighter. “What did you say, about 'girls like us'...that's what we’re like, isn't it?"
We. Including themselves.
Herself.
"Yeah?" You wheezed through a gasp with your own laugh (sardonic and a little mean, not the way girls should be at all, but the way you were), your eyes darkening as you stared down at them. "That’s right…so, what, you gonna cut my dick out to join my spine, Law?"
"Mmhmm," They hummed (and you were silently thrilled that they didn’t even blink at your slurred request for genital mutilation), a demented and almost peaceful little smile coming to their face as you pried their sweatpants down and revealed the monster between their legs. Your asshole clenched just looking at it, and you couldn’t wait to get back to their apartment if you survived this. "I’d keep it safe. Then I’d cut off your testes and eat them."
Your thighs trembled and you grit your teeth, feeling another pulse of heat shoot to your cock.
"Hah…I read they're a natural source of estrogen somewhere," You managed to wheeze out with a little chuckle. "Makes sense, huh? Where one girl ends, another begins."
"Mmm..." They moaned mindlessly, trailing a thick smear of drool down your chest as they let go of your cock and circled their arms around your little waist tightly, pulling you in close.
Despite your maddening arousal, you let them do it, happily, resting your cheek against the crown of their head, and relishing in the feeling as your cocks pressed and rubbed together, sticky heads occasionally grazing over one another.
"Wanna be your girl," They murmured, kissing and tonguing at your nipple again, clinging to you even tighter. "Can I be your girl? Please? Please let me…"
"Baby," You cooed, shifting your hips even closer to theirs hers, almost sitting in their her lap as your own arms wrapped around their her neck.
Twin centipedes in a tree trunk, wriggling worms in the dirt, mated maggots in the gore your hands, your chest, your rotten cock, were streaked with.
"You always were my girl...and always will be."
#lawrence oleander#lawrence btd#lawrence x mc#lawrence x reader#drabbles#this is a ray is projecting kind of fic lol#but i like it :)
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[ID: a traditional mixed-media illustration of Jesse from Infinity Train, shown from the waist up with his arms crossed and a dejected expression. The background resembles blood splatter, and he appears to be submerged up to his arms in dark murky liquid. Above him are two minimalist pictures: a house on a hill, and a body of water with one orb floating above it and a second submerged within. A miniature version of the party house is perched on Jesse's shoulder. He has an Apex sine wave on his face, and the designs on his jacket are different than usual: the word "party" is emblazoned on the left and a letter "A" with a sine wave through it on the right, and the patch on his sleeve has the face of Singer from Galactaron. Two distorted arms reach up from behind Jesse. On the left is a purple arm, the hand of which covers his eye. On the right is a green arm, which holds a cracked and burning photograph. End ID]
happy infinit8ion day 🎈
#ohhh this is so cool.... i really dig all the imagery#didn't even notice the altered jacket designs at first but that's a nice touch#really goes to show how these creepy events are totally changing everyone involved in them at pretty much every level#....or something like that idk maybe you just thought it would be cool. WHICH IT IS#(if i got anything wrong in the ID just let me know and i can edit it btw!)#infinity train
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Hi there :b I would like to request a scenario where the Bots and Cons play Five Nights at Freddy's + how they'd react. Cuz like, technically, they ARE animatronics😂 I wonder if that would make them find it more scary, or less scary.
I’m not gonna do both groups because that’s a bit too much, so I just picked the autobots because it seemed like a good fit. Also I absolutely hate fnaf, because I find it freaking terrifying, but I have nothing against writing about it
•Miko of course got the great idea to show the bots this cool horror game that she’d come across
•Bulkhead is naturally the first victim, and his scream brings the rest of the team to the main room
•Everyone is like, “Where’s the danger?” and Miko just points at Raf’s computer like, “game scary”
•Arcee asks if bulk actually screamed like that because of a computer game
•Because she thought it was because of scraplets or something since that’s the last time she heard him scream like that
•She doesn’t believe a game can be that scary, but then she gets to watch Miko and Raf play too and she’s pretty jumpy for the rest of the day
•Of course Arcee wouldn’t admit that she got spooked by the game but she did
•Pretty much everyone, aside from Ratchet and Magnus are watching the kids play, because they really want to know why Bulk screamed and is now refusing to look at the computer
•Optimus is having some very vivid horror, gorey imagery going on in his head of him accidentally transforming with a human on the front seat, because Miko explained Springtrap
•Like holy shit he has nightmares for weeks
•Ratchet just tells Miko he doesn’t have time to look at the game, but based on everyone else’s reactions, he really doesn’t want to
•Magnus is very much not interested and doesn’t really understand the point of horror games in the first place, because his life has enough horror in it already and he doesn’t understand why anyone would want to be scared for fun
•Smokes is really into it, sure he’s scared and he thinks the whole thing is creepy as hell, but he does still really like it
•Though the animatronics are really, really fucking creepy and he’s yelping at the jumpscares
•Bumblebee isn’t really that into it, but he doesn’t want to seem like he’s scared so he’s just forcing himself to watch the game, with his optics wandering all around the room, because he doesn’t want to watch the game
•Wheeljack on the other hand thinks it’s freaking hilarious and is laughing hysterically the whole time, especially at the jumpscares
#transformers#tfp#transformers prime#autobots#arcee#bulkhead#bumblebee#optimus prime#ratchet#ultra magnus#wheeljack#smokescreen#tfp headcanons
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my fullmoon dream ended up being a somewhat dense one in a continuation of my dream timeline
There's this person, who was my friend but it ended badly, a few years ago. And i didnt really understand what happened it was very confusing to me, i didnt really have any power in the situation, it was only this past year i learned of the way all these strings were being pulled behind my back, which helped me understand why that situation occurred, why there was so much resentment directed towards me when i was trying so hard to just exist and keep the friendship simple + lighthearted. Like basically it was just sabotaged which has been kind of hard for me to accept even with finally knowing how it was sabotaged, it was all so unnecessary and i just wish i knew sooner.
over the past 2 or so years ive had a recurring dream scenario where I run into this person. i always write them on here too. Sometimes we apologize to each other, sometimes we dont really speak at all, but theres always this vibe of like, "Things are cool between us now, its Ok." And its a very relieving feeling, in the dreams. its almost exciting, like wow, we can be friends again??! The thing i find most interesting about it is that even though i lost a LOT of friends in the past few years through the same source of sabotage, this is the only person i have these dreams about. I guess we were pretty close for a while but still its interesting no one else comes up in this way.
Anyways. in the dream last night(this morning), it was kind of different... it was really emotional?? usually its never that emotional, usually we dont even say much. but in this dream today, they were crying, they were so earnestly apologetic, talking about how they regret the ways they treated me, and missed being my friend so much. And i cried too because it felt so good to hear it, i apologized for the messy ways i responded to the situation because i didnt get it at the time i thought i was going crazy.. And we were like holy shit we can finally just be friends again.. This is amazing..
as the conversation closed i woke up, i had a moment of being like woahh, that just happened, all the feelings and imagery of it cemented into my conscious mind. THEN, i fell BACK asleep, to the exact same dream!! it just continued. I went and did some other things, i got a job at this weird childrens entertainment center where i was dressed in a panda costume dancing for children. But it was the exact same setting, they were still sitting in the same spot close by, and in the dream i kept having flashes of relief thinking like "omg we're friends again i cant wait to catch up and talk more once im off work"
i feel my body woke me up from that conversation to make sure i really claearly remember that part of the dream before it continued on. I havent had a dream-wakeup-backtosamedream happen in quite a while but i always regard it as an extra significant dream when i do,... also its the full moon
i never know what to do after these dreams like do i reach out? honestly this person kind of intimidates me so i never know. Like i cAnt imagine in reality they miss being my friend that much. But they are pretty sentimental deep down, so maybe. Its just a difficult situation where I was never the one with any of the power, So it feels strange to instigate contact. Like how it happened in the dream, it would only really make sense if they said something first. Maybe these dreams are just meant to bring about some psychic closure that i'm not likely to ever receive irl. Its always very confusing to wake up from lol. I would like to feel that relief for real..
But at the end of the day im satisfied with my life and the friends I have now, so its not a big deal. Just stuff thats buried. I swear its always full moons when i dream about them lol! We have the same moon sign, in astrology, i wonder if thats something to do with it. We always had a lot of weird almost creepy synchronizations in our personalities. Oh well
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REVIEWS OF THE WEEK!
Every week I will post various reviews I've written so far in 2024. You can check out my Goodreads for more up-to-date reviews HERE. You can friend me on Goodreads here.
Have you read any of these? What were your thoughts?
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289. Paradise Cove by Jenny Holiday--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
In my attempt to read more of my physical books, I have finally made my way to this book. I'm glad I have gotten back into this small town because this one was such a sweet read.
I love stories where one of the characters moves to a small town to, essentially, start over, especially after a bad breakup or big life event. Call me a hopeless romantic because that moment that the MC moves to the small town and immediately meets the love interest, I am HOOKED. There is, as a romance reader, very little else in the genre that makes me feel the way I do when we have the two characters meet (particularly in small town romances where one of the MCs is seen as an "outsider", but is still welcomed.)
Both MCs had some personal roadblocks to overcome. To be frank, the MMC had a bigger one because he is dealing with his grief and the idea of change in the form of the new town doctor. I did love, though, how she was the one to break through his walls and how surprised everyone was when she was the one he talked to.
I also love small town romances like this because of how kind everyone is to the new townie. They were all just so grateful and the whole vibe was cutesy and welcoming. Save for the heartbreaking climax between the two MCs, this whole book was like a warm cup of tea on a cool Autumn night. Their romance steadily grows, the sexual tension rises to a breaking point, and we get to learn more about their respective lives outside of their connection throughout the whole thing.
While there are definitely grief-heavy moments sprinkled throughout the book that will pull at the heartstrings, the imagery of the town, the welcoming atmosphere of Jenny Holiday's writing, and the two stubborn MCs who find love when they least expect it, PARADISE COVE was truly what the title states: a small bit of reading paradise hidden in a sea of romance novels. Books like this one always fall to the side, but I'm glad I finally picked it up! (And I DO have the third in the series on standby!)
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290. Lockjaw by Matteo L. Cerilli--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
This book was a wild ride. If you love IT by Stephen King, but want a YA version then this is a must read for you!
I went into this completely blind and never knew what would happen next. There were so many twists and so many heartbreaking moments, but also that kind of horror in a small town that makes you want to make sure your doors are locked at night.
The story starts with the mysterious stranger who finds their way into this small town that gave me the creeps--especially when said town is essentially shunning a young character and is run by a creepy cop who wants the town to be "perfect". The way the story is told, braiding all of the eerie moments in with the seemingly more "normal" ones was done really well.
There is this underlying tension as the story progresses of a town that is truly hiding many secrets. The mysterious deaths and the haunting of the past and "lies" that fills the pages is what made me think of IT. There is something that is stalking the kids of the town and the way the story is written, full of red herrings and foreshadowing, helped create this atmosphere of terror that was building from the moment the MC drove into town. We also see the horrible side of racism and homophobia in a small town and that added to that already tense atmosphere of the story.
This book was just an unexpected ride and so perfect for the Halloween season. If you're a fan of IT, or scary stories about smalls towns full of uncomfortable vibes, then this might be your next read!
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291. A Love Like the Sun by Riss M. Neilson--⭐️⭐️⭐️
I really wanted to love this one and at some points I did, but it didn't quite reach that standard I was expecting!
I had written a whole ass review and it got deleted. Sigh.
One of the issues I had with this book was that it was overhyped for me. I love going into books by authors I've never read completely blind because then it will set expectations way too high for me. And I fear that this happened with A LOVE LIKE THE SUN. I went in expecting something that would leave me feeling some sort of way about the romance, but it just left me feeling meh. It felt very surface level and anytime the story started to get deeper into the romance, it would crumble because of the MC's stubbornness.
And I get that the MC is dealing with the trauma of losing her father and of the love her parents shared, but I think that if she was afraid of having that kind of love, she would have also noticed how important communication is in a relationship. Her lack of communication with her love interest at the end of the book was what further pushed this book into a lower rating for me.
And while this book had a lot of things I would normally love in a romance--like the sexual tension, the spicy situations, the friendship turning into a lover situation, the fake dating, the obvious attraction that the love interest held for the MC, and the relationships between the MC and the people around her--I never fully connected. I don't know if it was the pacing or the frustrating MC, but something kept me back from fully connecting with the story.
I DID appreciate the callout on how Black women are treated by medical professionals, the success that the love interest finds in art as a Black man, the representation of working with textured hair since I've been trying to figure out my curls for the majority of my life, and the close connection between the MC and her mother. But these were all things that took a bit of a backseat to the frustrating MC's decision making.
I think this book could have been amazing (for me). Especially because all of the pieces were there, but it felt like they were put together just a bit off-kilter. I would have hoped that a friendship as old as the one the MC and the love interests had, they would have better communication, or a better sense of understanding. But it wasn't just that climactic moment that kind of ruined it for me. The whole thing was kind of underwhelming and unfortunately, I think this will be one of those books I won't really remember two years from now.
I can understand why so many people loved it, truly, but it just wasn't for me.
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292. The Girl Who Chased the Moon by Sarah Addison Allen--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I really enjoyed this--it was so whimsical and fun.
THE GIRL WHO CHASED THE MOON is another one of those books that have been on my shelves for YEARS. I was surprised by it because it felt like a hidden gem on my shelves and I'm even more excited about reading more of my older books.
Allen's book was such a sweet and surprising read. It felt like the perfect kind of book for a late summer night of reading. I loved the small-town feel of it and the surprising level of magical realism. If it wasn't for the older characters experiencing their own moments, I would have almost called this YA. But I did really like the multi-generational storytelling. It felt weirdly cinematic?
I would have loved reading more books set in this small town, especially because there were so many potential stories to tell.
I think if you like stories with interesting and unique paranormal aspects, a bit of magic, a newcomer in a small town, and a second chance romance for two unlikely characters, then you'd like this one. It's not super long and holds a lot of charm. Perfect, like I said, for a warm night of reading!
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293. The Darkness Outside Us by Eliot Schrefer--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I've been hearing such great things about THE DARKNESS OUTSIDE US, so I went into this with a wary mindset, but came out thoroughly entertained.
First off, this is such a fun and unique (to me) storyline. The way it was presented was also great and made for an interesting experience the first time that big twist was introduced. It created this weird sense of urgency that had me craving the next page. It was also kind of creepy because it feeds into that fear so many of us have of technology and what the future of tech looks like.
The romance was sweet and surprisingly honest in the way it is portrayed (but then again, teenagers aren't as innocent as adults tend to think). I liked that someone who might relate to the relationship or the feelings it brings out in readers could relate and feel a sense of comfort in seeing these two teen boys fall in love and experience that love. I like that it was built out and developed well before the twists started coming. It acted as a nice base for their ever-growing relationship as they learned to trust each other and really work for their happiness and futures.
I wanted answers throughout the whole book and while we definitely got a chunk of them, I really want to read the sequel! The way the story left off felt like it could have been the end, but I think that sequel will add that extra touch that will make the story feel whole.
I highly recommend this if you're looking for a bit of an exciting read where something is always happening and you never really know what's coming next. I also recommend it if you were a fan of ALL THAT'S LEFT IN THE WORLD. Similar vibes, but different survival genres.
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294. Patricia Wants to Cuddle by Samantha Allen--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I find the overall rating interesting but also not surprising. This was an underrated work of art and I took my sweet time with it.
PATRICIA WANTS TO CUDDLE is one of those books that feels like a slow cooker--you take your time with it while it's cooking, and then when it's ready to be devoured, Allen throws all of the flavours at you.
One of the best aspects of this book is the commentary on gender and how it is portrayed in media. We get the stereotypes of a reality tv show and the behind the scenes reality so we can see how easy it is to warp a narrative to fit what is expected for the audience. It was interesting seeing the different POVs of the girls because we get to see how they think of each other and what they think of the CATCH (the knockoff Bachelor contestant). It's always so fascinating to me to see how characters see each other, especially because it always makes it more realistic for me.
Also, we don't get any POVs from the male characters--which adds even more to the commentary on sexism that this book presents. But also, it makes it clearer that this is a girls' girl type of novel (especially with those twists). We see the men in this book constantly expecting certain things from women, or twisting narratives to fit them but make it seem like it's for a woman's benefit, yet the greatest irony is that none of them get a POV in the book.
I kind of wish I'd listened to the audiobook for this one because of the multimedia parts of the book. Those were a fun addition!
I was genuinely so entertained and I loved how gruesome and jarring it was. The ending was great and I'm so glad I finally picked up this awesome queer horror novel! I know it won't be for everyone, but I think those who are looking for horror novels with some great commentary on gender roles and the media's perception of women will really enjoy this one.
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295. Monstrilio by Gerardo Sámano Córdova--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
MONSTRILIO is one of those books that by the end you know you enjoyed it, but you're also questioning why. I knew it was going to be something unsettling from the very beginning when the grieving mother pulls out her deceased son's lung from his body. That whole scene set the mood and I didn't know what to expect moving forward.
At its core, this is a book about grief and the power of growing and moving forward with that grief. It was done in such a unique way that it might take a moment to realize the grief aspect, but it's weaved so well into the story that by the end, you might realize that Monstrilio is the embodiment of that grief. He is that walking, talking sense of loss that so many people wish didn't haunt them every day of their life.
The story was told from multiple perspectives in chunks of time. The last perspective was from M and it was so incredibly interesting to see how he viewed the world, especially knowing how he came to be and watching him grow into himself. It was also interesting to see how his parents viewed him after so many years and knowing the truth of his existence.
The conclusion felt like the perfect circle-closing moment. Everything came together into a powerful moment that I didn't know I was hoping for until it happened. I was not expecting to feel so many different emotions while reading this book. It was definitely a horror story, but it felt almost like the sweet side of horror (if we ignore all of the blood).
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296. Zero Stars, Do Not Recommend by M.J. Wassmer--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Ah, this book.
ZERO STARS, DO NOT RECOMMEND was a bit of a trip. It was giving my anxiety a lovely workout. I don't even know how many times I almost DNFed because of the MC's stupid decisions and actions. And I DO understand why he was the way he was, but man, he was all over the place.
One of the best things about this book that kept me reading was the writing. The story is told in third person, but the narrative voice was so sassy that it had me laughing every once in a while. And while the MC was making stupid choices, the narrative voice kept me hooked.
Almost all of the characters in this book need some sort of therapy, or were such assholes. A few people definitely deserved a punch or two. Although that ending made me feel a little sorry for some of them.
This was addicting and unique. The whole concept of it was interesting because I really had to suspend my disbelief to just enjoy the book and the plot line. I also really liked where the story was going because I am honestly all for survival books. This story felt like a human experiment of survival and what happens when one person is given too much power. It was just such an entertaining experience (even with the MC).
But with all of that being said, there was some great character growth and it was fun watching it happen. Once we get to the key reason of why the MC is the way he is, it made the story more enjoyable and I could empathize with him a lot more. Also, I loved his relationship with his girlfriend, even if at times he went a little macho.
Anyway, if you want a unique end of the world story set on a tropical island, then I think you might like this one! This is NOT a horror novel, but it is satirical and at oftentimes pretty funny.
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Happy reading!
#Reviews of the Week#book review#book reviews#reviews#long text post#books#booklr#bookish#features#bookworm#bookaholic#book blogger#book blog#bibliophile#readers of tumblr#book list#my writing#my opinion#on books#on reading
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BSD is Chapter 109 Screaming!!
Manga Spoilers, obviously
Sigma, sweetie, I told you not to make deals with the devil!!
So Aya found a convenient hole in the glass (probably the one Akutagawa used to get them on the roof in the first place), and is now getting a table. Smart girl has a plan
This scene is really cool, I think Fyodor’s overwhelming Sigma’s brain with information, which caused him to pass out. I just really love the imagery here, with not only how Sigma’s Ability looks (in his eyes), and how Fyodor has Sigma in the palm of his hand
WHY
Ok do Chuuya was sent to take out Dazai, but for some reason he wasn’t allowed to bead the crap out of him or something, so he just pulled out a gun. Idk why but seeing Chuuya use a gun properly doesn’t feel right
Also Dazai got shot in the head. One thing I wanna mention tho is that if he got shot with a real bullet he wouldn’t have time for this little monologue, he’d just have dropped dead, and yeah people have been able to survive getting shot in the head, but with the placement of the injury this doesn’t seem like one of those times. I think the reason Chuuya couldn’t pummel him is because the bullets used, at least the one meant to be aimed at his head, was rubber. Rubber bullets still hurt like hell, and people have even died to them before, but Dazai’s chance of survival is way higher if they were rubber.
Did they have to make this Ability box look so damn creepy?? Reminds me of something in JJK or Parasite or something
Nothing’s going well!! C’mon Aya, we believe in you!!!
Aya’s trying to use the table to pull the sword out!! This is where the chapter ends, but if this works this would be game-changing
Final thoughts: I have no idea how we’re gonna get out of this one, everything seems to be going wrong
#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bungou stray dogs manga#bsd chapter 109#bungou stray dogs chapter 109#bsd manga spoilers
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Loki episode 5 reaction and initial thoughts
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! I can’t believe it! I’m so unused to getting what I hope for with Loki in movies and TV that I almost don’t know what to do when you get almost exactly what you’d hoped for!!!!! (Within the bounds of this being the TVA version of Loki of course.) That was excellent! And hit most of the key things I was hoping for as well as giving some absolutely charming additions!
It packed in a lot of story, and it was a delight to see the characters on the timeline. It wasn’t as gripping and tense as the last episode, but that's probably a good thing for my stress levels lol! But it was a really lovely time travel story.
And Loki has unlocked a new ability. Maybe.
The opening music!! Perfectly creepy! And even more so than the music over the credits of the last episode. It really sounded like the disintegration of reality!
And I loved the way the letters disappeared from the Loki title card… *shivers*
It was a small thing, but nice to see at least one thing I’d guessed correct – that they started the episode with the reverse of this shot at the end of episode 4.
I loved how spooky it was having Loki walk through the corridors of the TVA by himself. And I did rather enjoy the moment he almost met himself. That was cute. But it was clear that they needed to get on to other things quite quickly – there was a lot in this episode!!
The imagery of the universe disintegrating was perfectly terrifying! (Although I was getting big “snap” vibes.) And what is Fail Safe Mode? And does it matter?
I was a little sad to see Casey was a prisoner. 😔 But I wonder if we’ll see these timeline versions of the characters again? I feel like the need for them is over? Unless maybe briefly at the start of the last episode. So we didn't have to watch him being particularly horrible.
I didn’t pick that he’d be the first person Loki would visit, nor did I pick that it would all be unintentional.
I did like the way Loki still hoped that Mobius would recognise him. And the conversation itself was ambiguous enough I suppose for the first couple of sentences that you could interpret it that way. Poor Loki looked so disappointed!
I laughed as was intended at the imitation of the inflatable advertising character. 😁
And then OB!!! Omg! I LOVE what they chose to do with his character!!! He was so sweet, and retained his enthusiastic and super intelligent personality! I hadn’t really settled on what I thought OB might have been like on the timeline, but this was so much better! And how he was like “and I had to get a PHD to keep my day job as a theoretical physicist”….! 😄
And @pinkpondofasgard I hope you’ve seen this episode when you see this mention, because spoilers - looks like you were right about this being a location from OB’s past! Which I think is super cool! I don’t have any idea what this would be in the 1990s in the US, but obviously it worked so well for OB that he replicated it in the TVA! Unless this whole series all turns out to be his dream… Ha ha! Ha…. ha…… er… Anyway. I love that so many of the shelves are covered in books instead of technical TVA equipment.
Okay, so now I’m seriously thinking there’s a chance OB might actually be the founder of the TVA. HWR could easily have come along later and taken over the leadership and wiped his memories. But the fact the rooms are sooooo similar is just a bit too weird.
I did like how they handled Loki explaining things to Mobius. Mobius was suitably sceptical and Loki was trying so hard not to sound threatening, but that’s not really his bag, is it. Lol! Things would definitely have gone pear shaped if OB hadn’t turned up.
I feel like Loki’s getting a lot of use out of the phrase “I promise you this will make sense” lol!
While I was kinda looking forward to the multiple crazy conversations while Loki tries to convince people he’s not mad, I do appreciate they had to make this quick, and I liked how they made each interaction shorter than the one before it, until he didn’t even need to say anything after stepping through the time door.
Then there was Sylvie. I was by this point just as surprised as Loki that she kept her memories. Now I have to assume that’s because she wasn’t ever a TVA worker who had her memories wiped. But if that’s the case, then why wasn’t she in the Loom room with Loki when he ‘woke up’? I’m assuming we’re meant to understand that this is because Loki feels most at home in the TVA, rather than Asgard. I find that's a little bit much, personally. But I guess I’ll put that one to the side for the moment.
I did not expect her to be so adamant about not helping. I mean I should have, but I didn’t. Their conversation at the bar was interesting, and I liked that Loki was so concerned that the TVA folk get a choice. (And I kinda think now that they might, come the end of the season. With OB choosing to stay because it’s literally his dream, Casey because it’s better than being an escaped prisoner, and B-15 and Mobius choosing to leave.)
The whole scene in the record shop – that was cool! The small things that went wrong first, and the way the store owner slowly noticed it. *shivers*
Although again, very similar to the snap. I like how small objects vanish first, and I really should have seen that coming when the tempad went missing, but I didn’t. I think there was just so much squashed into this episode!
And this was such a haunting image.
And then Sylvie says “there’s nowhere left to go” before she too disintegrates. Eeeee!
Again, this looked really cool! Are we meant to understand that Loki could hear a moment in the timeline of a person each time he touched a thread? I wonder if that holds for any thread? Or was that just illustrating his memories?
I’m not sure that’s important though, given he almost immediately jumps back to the TVA, but we haven’t seen this image from the mid-season trailer yet. Not one from this angle where Sylvie is still whole, and where Loki is standing confidently and making this specific gesture. I wonder now if he’s just snapped his fingers? Perhaps this moment is revisited, or perhaps just an alternate take that looked cool for the trailer.
I did like the ending, and how he jumped back to them all to tell them he’d figured out how to do it. I wonder if he’ll be able to come back to them under his own steam at a later date?
I’m still not entirely sure if this is something that in integral to Loki now or whether its related to circumstances. Like will it be possible to time-slip after the TVA is restored? If that means going back within the TVA before the moment he started time-slipping in the first place. *shrug*
So, what point did he jump back to? There’s an alarm blaring in the background, but no other identifying things. So I’m guessing this is just as they watch Timely go down the stairs to suit up?
Does he try to stop Timely from going out there? Explain it didn’t work, and then ask OB for information in the last few moment before jumping back further?
And more importantly, after the multiverse is saved, does this mean he can jump to the time and place of any person he cares about? Could he visit his Mum? Or a Thor?!! 🥲
Ah! This was a really great time travel episode! And I'm thoroughly looking forward to the final episode.
Tagging @sparklegemstone @pinkpondofasgard @woodelf68 @scintillatingshortgirl19 @projectprotectloki @ladyofthestayingpower @juliabohemian @galaxythreads @makerofrunevests @thelightofthingshopedfor
As usual, please let me know if you'd rather not be tagged. :)
#loki#loki series#loki season 2#loki review#loki show#loki s2#loki series speculation#tva#loki s2 ep5#surely they can't have him die at the end of the series....#right...?#right............?#loki spoilers
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Hello! I hope your week has been fine. I've seen some of your Journey to the South stuff. Very neat! I'd like to ask, just as their (baby?) sister have the power to curse immortals to death, what powers did you give Luohou and Qidou? Qidou has a giant inkbrush and Luohou some kind of sun imagery in the back. What do those mean? Are those related to their powers? What personality did you give them?
Also, I hope you don't mind if I insert some LMK ideas (because I know you don't like the show's direction of SWK) but I have a thought that the Macaque character might be more palatable and makes sense as JTTW's sequal character if the character was originally a separate character from the SEM, just a monkey demon with extraordinary hearing who was friends with SWK, who was killed during SWK's journey, something SWK realized too late, then was revived but as a price, SAM'S soul latched onto his and sort of fused together, so now he's being possessed by the monkey that tried to usurp his old friend's life, while his body is slowly changing and his identity is mixing with SAM'S memories and feelings.
Just a ramble of idea here. You may ignore it if you aren't interested. Have a good month, eat your fruits and vegetables at least once a week!
AUGH so sorry that I've taken so long to get to this question @angstandhappiness (X_X). Part of it is me still finalizing Quidou and Luohou's whole deal! I'm honestly happy that you're interested in what I'm planning for those guys, though I do want to note that Quidou is the one with the mirror behind him and Luohou is the one with the giant paintbrush. I'll try to get some more sketches out for them soon :D
OUGH some of the asks I've gotten (yours included) have offered some really neat ideas on what could be done with Monkie Kid as it now stands! tbh a good deal of my disappointment with the route Flying Bark took with Macaque was the way they just wholesale threw away everything about his devious and terrifying evil twin self from the og classic in order to make him this angsty oc Shadow the Hedgehog clone, but honestly this suggestions seems like a pretty cool way to let og LEMH have a chance to shine in all his vicious and manipulative glory! As is WOW the scenario you've proposed presents a very interesting body-snatcher-ish chance to really get into how kind of creepy and honestly damaging to literally everyone Macaque's obsession with Sun Wukong is. Like it really lays on how Macaque has nothing defining his life or identity except what happens between him and the Monkey King, which does present a perfect opportunity for og LEMH to come in and be like "okay you clearly have nothing else going on let's try to murder/replace this guy again >:D"
#ask answered#jttw six eared macaque#monkie kid six eared macaque#tfw you have so little identity that you become the perfect host for an evil doppelganger who wants to kill your bestie/worstie :(#monkey critical#body horror#body horror ish#was pretty fun to do some body horror-ish jttw-ish art again lol
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🧛🏽♀️🧟♀️👹Horror Movies for Beginners🦇💀👻
Disclaimer: This is something I'm doing for fun and because I've had people in the past ask me for suggestions for people who are interested in horror but are too scared to get into it. I'll be adding more to this list as I think of more.
Tips: For one thing, I would suggest checking doesthedogdie.com before watching any horror movie. It's a great source for triggers ahead of time. The people who contribute to it can be very helpful too, as they sometimes provide timestamps as to where in the movie the triggers take place so you can skip over them.
I would also suggest horror comedies, as they provide humor to lessen the blow of the scary stuff.
But Wait!!!
🇵🇸🍉
Before you continue reading about scary movies, please consider taking a look at some charities benefitting families in Gaza. I'm going to try to update it regularly!
Spooky Movies for Beginners
Ghostbusters, Ghostbusters II, Ghostbusters (2016)
Yes, I am including 2016. No, I am not ashamed to like that version. No, I will not be taking criticism. I did not include Afterlife because I have not seen it yet. That aside, I do recommend the Ghostbusters movies listed. The movies contain a balance of horror and comedy and cool science-fiction tech. They're fun, but not too scary for beginners.
Haunted Mansion (2003)
Most of the "scares" in this movie aren't really scary. If you've been to Disneyland and can ride through the attraction with no problems, you can probably get through this movie. It's geared more towards families, so if you have kids, they'll probably enjoy watching it with you. However, there is an anti-Romani slur used repeatedly throughout the movie. Also, proceed with caution if you have a fear of spiders.
Coraline (2009)
This movie is animated but contains a lot of creepy imagery. Some kids might get creeped out by it. If you like "rabbit hole" type movies that involve stumbling upon hidden and treacherous worlds, you'll probably like it. Henry Selick, the dude who made Nightmare Before Christmas, is responsible for this film adaptation.
Wendell and Wild (2022)
Another animated movie from Henry Selick with Jordan Peele. Two mischievous demons cause havoc. Peele and Kegan-Michael Key play the demons. Oh, and it's a middle finger to private prisons and the school-to-prison pipeline, so there's that. If you're too afraid to watch Get Out, Us, or Nope, but want to experience the horror magic Peele, you will probably enjoy this one.
The Sixth Sense (1999)
I'm hesitant to put this one on the list because this one does contain disturbing imagery that can be too much for a beginner. But this is a really solid movie even if the ending has already been spoiled for you. How scary the ghosts are really isn't what this movie is all about--the themes of grief and healing are really what it's about.
Gremlins (1984) and Gremlins II: A New Batch (1990)
When I was a kid, my parents thought they could scare me into behaving by saying the gremlins from these movies were going to get me. But I loved the gremlins because they were fun and I wanted to be their friends lol. If you like practical effects, you'll probably like this movie. I don't think these movies would be scary for most adults, but kids might be a little iffy with the gremlins--but Gizmo is adorable and might be able to balance out the scariness. However, there is some...questionable Asian representation typical of 80's movies. Proceed with caution.
Warm Bodies (2013)
This movie was released when the Twilight craze was at its height and I remember being shit-talk about that, but this movie is worth watching. Yes, it is about a zombie falling in love with a living human, but it really is adorable (in my opinion) and the movie is overall clever and fun. I will say that there are some parts that might be a little too much for beginners. The "bonies" might be a little too scary. However, the "scary" parts are very brief and they are not the center of the story.
Dracula (1931)
One of Universal's classics. This was probably a very terrifying movie for the time it was released, but by today's standards, I cannot describe it as scary. You'll probably laugh at the bat puppets used throughout the film. However, Bela Lugosi's timeless portrayal of Dracula is nothing short of creepy. There's a reason it's still iconic even to this day. The film, though, is not for everyone. It's just under an hour and a half but can feel very slow to those with short attention spans. Regardless, I think this is a must-watch if you're into vampires of any sort, and it is worth appreciation.
To be continued...
#horror recs#horror recommendations#horror for beginners#warm bodies#germlins#gremlins ii: an new batch#wendell and wild#jordan peele#henry selick#coraline#the haunted mansion (2003)#ghostbusters
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youtube
I'm also hoping for a G1 adaptation, but I don't think it's the end of the world if G3 gets adapted. It's interesting in its own way and is technically more inclusive, even if the inclusivity isn't perfect. I also hope that they lean more into the horror and we can get some creepy imagery like Clawdeen turning into a wolf in the style of American Werewolf in London. Also, powers. I'd love to see them use more monster powers, like Draculaura turning into a bat or Cleo using hypnosis. Last a little bit of hope for this movie, and a rather random one, wouldn't it cool if they got Kim Petras to do a song in the style of Turn Off the Light for this movie? Just a fun thought, I don't think they will.
What I'm worried about is how the success of Barbie is going to influence this film and what angle they're going to take the narrative in. Much of the commentary you could do is already part of the text like the stuff on discrimination and systemic violence. They could do a meta angle and do a commentary on how MH is seen as this edgy and controversial doll line when for the longest time, it didn't have any canon queer characters, diverse body types, and had a lot of stereotypical-looking characters. That could get very messy, though. Not every writer and director has the elegance to tackle topics like that well and nuancedly.
It also might not hit as hard as Barbie's commentary on feminism. While it's not perfect, it adequately points out the hypocrisy of a line that supposedly celebrates all women and feminity actually props up women's insecurities through its shallowness. MH, on the other hand, while being shallow does actually engage with its themes of acceptance and the brand has a history of actually responding to criticism in a meaningful way, unlike Barbie, where despite the diversity of races, disabilities, and body types she's come to have, the thin, white, blonde woman with a 1000+ page resume is still the main one getting marketed.
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