#i thought the ending to s2 was angsty | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

hothothotch · 1 year ago

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hi! can you write a hotch angsty / fluff piece based off the episode of s3 ep 20 where they go to NY and have to work with Kate Joyner and Hotch treats reader like how he did to Morgan and pushes reader aside bc even after reader being there for him after his divorce with Hayley and thinking there was something more but then ends in fluff? :)

hey hey! first i want to say that this ask has saved my life. second, i got carried away again. but i hope you like it, anon s2

(god knows how much i want a part two for this one)

requests are open!

tw: angst, fluff, 5.3k words.

You should have seen it coming.

You’ve been a part of BAU’s team since the departure of Ellie, a quick replacement approved by Agent Hotchner — or Hotch, as the team called him — that took place for the first time after The Fisher King’s case, when Ellie was shot; when she decided working at the BAU was too much to handle, Hotch approved your official transference only a few weeks before Strauss’ approved Prentiss’.

In all honesty, you’d been surprised Hotch didn’t kick you out after that, but grateful nonetheless — you absolutely loved that job.

You had been the first to notice when Hotch’s marriage started to crumble, your own habit of staying late nights at the office giving you a first-row view of the nights he’d stay late and go home only on the early hours of the morning, just to come back fresh and new as if nothing had happened. There wasn’t much you could do to help, even if you wanted to; the fact that Hotch trusted you on the job didn’t necessarily mean that he trusted you enough to let you in on his personal issues, and you didn’t feel like you really wanted to. But, as purple bags started to form under his eyes, a clear evidence that he hadn’t been sleeping, you couldn’t help but start showing small, almost meaningless acts of service that you hoped would make him feel better.

Everything was pretty secretive.

You started to get in the office earlier, so you could leave a cup of fresh coffee on his desk (black with no sugar, as you know he liked), and whenever you went out for dinner, you’d come back bearing something that was small enough so he wouldn’t want to pay for what you brought.

You started daring more only a few weeks into your small endeavor. Instead of only leaving your secret gifts, you started to write small notes in Garcia’s colorful sticky notes (because you had none on your desk, so he wouldn’t know it was you) with encouraging comments, mostly about his job — and, when you were feeling specially bold, about his appearance in general.

You thought nothing of it, and had no idea if he even read them, but the fact that you were doing something to at least try and make things better was enough to warm your heart. Much more when his stern façade would suddenly turn into a lighter one as the day went by, even when you were out on cases and he found a cup of steaming coffee waiting for him, a sticky note attached to it with a unique message handwritten by you.

It wasn’t until the divorce that you felt the urge to reveal your identity.

Hotch had been served the divorce papers in front of the whole team, only a few minutes before they went out for drinks — it goes unsaid that he immediately stepped out of the group, deciding to go home. The team still went out for drinks, but the talks weren’t as fun as they were supposed to be, and the topic in hand was only one: Hotch’s sudden divorce.

“Haley left home a few weeks ago” Derek confessed, playing with his full glass of beer. A few women had come to hit on him, but it seemed like that small and closed group had decided that if one of them was miserable, they all would be miserable that night — and Morgan had been the first to agree to that silent contract, refusing every opportunity he had to get laid that night, “She took Jack and her things and… left”.

“How could she do it?” Penelope had asked, her voice wrapped in a wrath no one had ever seen the blonde bubble of happiness be.

“Hotch is very dedicated to his job, Pen” Emily had replied, her voice as condescending as sad, a clear indicative that while she wished things had been different, that maybe there was a second chance, something they could do to help, she still could understand Haley’s side in this bargain, “We understand that because we do the same, but Haley… she wasn’t one of us”.

And it was true. While any of you were ready to make sacrifices, to jump off cliffs in order to do the best for your job, Haley was just a wife that had to stay closed off at home with her kid, praying that, at the end of the day (or the week) her husband would make it back home.

Now Hotch knew how it felt.

“There’s nothing we can do to help” David had said that night, taking his own glass of whiskey and taking a sip of the sour drink, “Just be there for him”.

David was right. And maybe his words that night had been what prompted you to climb the three-steps of the catwalk’s stair one week later, one hand playing nervously with your necklace as you used the other to knock on Aaron’s door right after Spencer had left to go home, only you and your boss still on the sixth floor.

“Come in”.

Aaron’s voice was imposing, as serious as it had always been; it was curious, you noticed very quickly, how you’ve never seen Hotch falter before — even when he was served the papers, or when he officially announced for the team that he was, indeed, divorced. He had been calm and collected, talking about the topics as if he was making a comment about a case, or about the weather, and the only indication of his unsaid pain was the way his fingers played nervously with the now empty space where you’d been used to see his wedding band.

Just as he was doing when you opened the door, your eyes falling immediately on that spot, as if searching for an indicative that they had decided to try again. The hope painful on your heart.

“I finished the reports from the last case” you said after a few minutes, moving slowly to leave the folders on top of his desk, “And I’ve also filled the late paperwork, I’m sorry it took me a while”.

Hotch looked up at you, his brown eyes scanning your face almost curiously, and you frowned nervously at the prospect of having something wrong with your face, “What is it?”.

“Nothing” Aaron replied quickly, dropping his eyes back to his hands, “I’m sorry”.

You smiled softly at Aaron, moving slowly to take the seat across from him, careful enough to assure him that if he didn’t want you to sit with him, then you’d quickly move out and pretend nothing had happened. When he didn’t, you allowed yourself to place both your hands on top of his desk, your palms up in an inviting manner — you knew Hotch wouldn’t hold your hand, even with the clear offer, but you’d keep offering until he felt like accepting.

“We’re a team, Hotch” you whispered, almost inaudibly, hoping, one more time, not to be overstepping or making him uncomfortable in any capacity, “I know we’re not best buddies…” you teased lightly, adding a ‘yet’ on your mind, “But you still can share things with me. I’m here to help, you know? If you want to talk, ever, I’ll be here, okay?”.

Much for your surprise and happiness, Aaron had wanted to talk, eventually.

The first time was after a child-related case, from where he left with the need to see Jack, but unable to do so because Haley had taken him to his grandparents’ house. At first, when he called you up to his office, you’d thought you’d be reprimanded for a mistake you couldn’t even remember you committed, but you had barely stepped inside the office when Aaron started to speak, his eyes focused on the mess of papers on his desk.

“I want to talk” he said, his voice more painful than you thought it would be, “If you’re still up to it”.

You were. Absolutely.

And just as talking to him, falling in love with Aaron Hotchner was the easiest thing you’ve ever done in your life.

You didn’t notice how it happened, or when you finally realized you were head over hills in love with him, but what you did know was the unspeakable feeling of your heart thundering on your chest whenever he shot a smile on your way, or when he accidentally brushed his hand on your arm when walking past you, or during your nightly conversations, when he’d repeat the words you first told him all those months ago, when you offered your help.

“We’re a team”.

But you should’ve seen it coming.

You should’ve seen it coming when Aaron announced whoever was responsible for that case had called him personally, and not respected the natural order of things in which JJ receives the case and reunites with Aaron to know if it deserves their immediate attention.

You should’ve seen it coming when Derek commented about Kate Joyner being as ass, and Aaron immediately got defensive — and to some extent you believed you had noticed, even if you decided to ignore it, since your body had responded to his defensiveness.

But you didn’t. Mostly because up to that moment, everything was okay.

“You’ll keep throwing theories at me until I tell you to stop?” Hotch asked, and even if his voice was serious and perfectly professional, you could see a hint of a smile on the way his brows weren’t as furrowed as usual, a shy dimple appearing on the corner of his lips.

This, you thought as you observed his clear features, moving from side to side on the chair you’ve been sitting on, your sole duty being waiting for Garcia’s call, or a lead of any form, this is what I love the most about him. His almost smile.

The thought alone both intimidated you and made butterflies dance on your stomach. You loved him.

“I will” you agreed with a resolute nod, your face as serious as possible considering how bad you wanted to laugh, “That’s what I do when we don’t have leads, I try every possible outcome and make you smile every once in a while. Because we’re a team”.

Aaron shook his head, his smile a bit more apparent than before, “A team, indeed”.

“I hope we make a good one”.

You cringed visibly at Kate Joyner’s British accent, not failing to notice how Aaron immediately moved to look at her, a smile creeping up on his lips immediately as he met her eyes — and you felt your heart break even more at the realization that it was the same smile he always gave you.

“They liaised at Scotland Yard”, Emily had teased when you arrived, JJ gasping at the mischievous tone on her friend’s voice. You wondered if any of them noticed how your face fell by the minute, your eyes unable to match any of theirs, heart thumping against your chest because you had noticed how Aaron had looked at Kate.

He wanted her.

In a way he clearly had never — and probably would never — want you.

“Hotchner” you looked up immediately at his serious tone, furrowing your brows as you paid close attention at his words. You saw, with the corner of your eyes, when Derek and Rossi moved closer to the three of you, their faces as serious as Hotch’s, “Does it look like he could be one of our guys?”.

“What’s going on?” Derek asked, his eyes following Hotch’s every move.

“We’ve got eyes on one of them” Aaron replied quickly, and for a second you hoped they’d be somewhere you could get them, that maybe this hell would be over in the next hour, maybe you were remotely close… “He’s on the subway platform at 59th and Lex”.

Your heart stopped beating at that moment, your breath immediately caught on your throat as you turned to face Kate, “We could be there” you muttered, your voice nothing more than an accusing whisper, “If we’d followed Derek’s plan, we could be there”.

“No, we should be there!” Derek retorted, his voice pulling out the anger you’ve managed to keep away from your words, and if your message hadn’t been clearly delivered to Kate, Derek’s had been — it was her fault.

“He’s got a gun” Garcia announced on the other side of the line, her voice wavering slightly at the new information.

“What do we do?” you asked, eyes moving past Kate to meet Hotch’s, “What are we supposed to do?”.

Aaron didn’t have time to reply before Garcia’s voice came through once more, “He shot her”.

God.

“Where the hell are the police?”, Kate’s voice was nervous when she next spoke, walking past you as if you weren’t there, her eyes not daring to meet yours, even if you knew that she didn’t care about the rage you were displaying. She cared about nothing other than Aaron’s impression on her, “This is Kate Joyner with the FBI. We have a murder suspect, subway platform. 59th and Lex”.

“He’s getting away!” Garcia announced, her voice clearly anguished.

Your mind started to work, all the training you ever had in your life — both for the BAU and other Units — coming back to you on that second, drawing you to move closer to the phone, you’re voice commanding, “Garcia, can you get eyes on him above ground?”.

“He’s heading west on 59th Street”.

“If he makes it to the park, we’ve lost him” Kate pointed, clearly worried.

The point was, Kate’s worry meant nothing to you anymore. Not when she was responsible for that; not when her pride got over her job and caused you to lose the only lead you could’ve had.

“And whose fault is this, Joyner?” you asked, your voice as venomous as you could make it sound, both your hands holding tightly at the wooden surface of the desk you’ve been sitting at, “Because from where I see it, is yours”.

The silence between your small group was almost palpable, and you could hear how someone took a harsh breath, as if your words had been like a slap to their face. You didn’t turn to see who had had that reaction, though — you knew the team had a very tunneled vision of you, that the fact you rarely snapped at people made them think you weren’t as fierce as Prentiss, even though they knew you were way more able to stand your ground than Spencer, usually without being overly rude at the source of your dismay.

That wasn’t the case, not that day.

You heard Aaron calling your name, and if it were any other day, maybe you’d have drawn your eyes off Kate to look at him, but you knew if you did this now, you’d backtrack — and God knew you didn’t want to.

“We could’ve had this guy!” you spat, pointing at the phone, “We just had to follow along with Morgan’s plan, which was a good plan, but Ms. I’m-better-than-anyone couldn’t handle hearing that someone was better than her!”.

“That’s not what happened—”.

“Oh, isn’t it?” You cut her off immediately, licking your lips for a second as your eyes kept glued on hers. Not blinking, not faltering. For the first time since you joined the FBI, you allowed the anger to consume you, because it was personal for you.

The way she looked at Hotch was personal for you.

The way they kept their bodies close was personal for you.

The way he had immediately stopped reciprocating you and your feelings whenever she was close, was personal for you.

The way she had the man you loved under her spell was personal for you.

“Even if we were on that platform, odds are he would have moved onto someone isolated” Kate retorted, her voice way calmer than yours.

“Maybe, but it was worthy a fucking shot!” you screamed, slapping your hands against the table, the sound calling the attention of the other Agents around, “Morgan said to put us at express stops. You wouldn’t need any new cop or to take the cops that are working from the streets, you just needed to assign us for this, and you decided not to, just because Morgan said so!”.

“It’s not your place to have this discussion”.

You were ready to spat back, maybe even to move closer to Kate and tell her that if she failed to do her job, then it was time someone else do it. But the voice that called you out wasn’t Kate’s.

You faltered, your voice suddenly getting caught on your throat as you turned to face Aaron, his eyes void of emotion as he looked at with you a grave expression, only one message written on his face: shut up, or you’ll see the consequences.

“My…” you stuttered, “My place?”.

“You need to back off” Aaron moved on, “We’re here to give the profile, that’s what we’ll do”.

“We have seven bodies, Aaron!” you said, but your voice had lost the strength it had when you were discussing with Kate, your anger turning into something way more painful. Painful for you, “Seven bodies. A woman was just killed on a subway platform because of her incompetence and you’re telling me to back off?”.

You hated how your voice broke on the last phrase, clear evidence that you were on the verge of tears. And you hated that he was a good enough profiler to see it, but he chose to ignore, because he was favoring her over you.

“You said it right, we have seven bodies” Aaron agreed, “Which is exactly why we need to stay focused”.

Derek snorted, drawing your attention back to him, “Pretty rich coming from the man who can’t stay focused on anything but her”.

As if it couldn’t hurt you more.

Aaron didn’t flinch, his eyes meeting Derek’s as he finished the almost inexistant space that separated the two of them, his voice low and passive — the tone he always used when talking with a suspect, “Take a walk. Now. You both”.

All you needed was for his eyes to meet yours for you to know you were done. With this case; with Kate Joyner; with Aaron.

“I’m out” you announced, messily grabbing your things and throwing them on your pockets, trying your best not to unravel then and there, where Kate could see how much she had affected you — how much their actions had affected you, “Out of this precinct. Out of this case”.

You walked past Aaron without sparing a glance at him, making a beeline towards the elevator. And for a second you thought about ignoring the way he called you, aware that you wouldn’t be able to look at him without the tears falling down your face, without you pouring your heart out to the man you ultimately loved, but that couldn’t reciprocate your feelings.

But you stopped, anyway. You stopped because a part of you hoped you’d see the man you’ve grown fond of in the past months; because you expected him to apologize, to say that you were right, or just say something… because if he didn’t, you might as well give up on him.

Ask me to stay, you pleaded, just ask me to stay.

“You can’t walk away from this case”.

You snorted at his cold words, and even with your back turned to him, you knew his face was still cold as stone, the Unit Chief, not your friend, “I can. And I will” you finally found it in yourself to turn and face him, the first tears falling down your face, “I’ll tell Strauss I couldn’t handle it, that it hit too close to home. Don’t worry, I’ll take the plane back to D.C tonight, I don’t want the jet and won’t make the Bureau pay for a bedroom for me. It won’t ruin your budget”.

“Why are you acting like that?” he asked, and you allowed yourself to bask on the way his own voice faltered, the way his closed demeanor changed at the sight of your tears, but it only lasted one second before you looked over his shoulders, finding Kate looking straight at you, clearly curious.

Suddenly there was no way you’d walk out without saying everything you needed to say.

“You really don’t know?” you questioned, “Okay, so I’ll tell you, Aaron” you made a pause, fidgeting with your necklace once again, trying to find the courage you needed to let it all out — everything and nothing at the same time, “I’m so in love with you, Aaron. I’ve been from the moment you started opening up to me. And to see you dismissing my opinion, acting like I’m nothing more than just an AIT who has no idea what she’s doing here, it hurts…” your voice was nothing but a mumbled hiss, the tears now staining your shirt, and you were unable to stop them, even when you violently wiped them away with the palm of your hand, “It hurts because I thought maybe… maybe you were feeling the same. Maybe you were opening up to me because you wanted me to be a part of your life, more than a friend, but a real partner… I thought we were a team, but I see I was wrong”.

You allowed yourself to look desperate, broken, out of place for one more second as you watched the way his demeanor changed as he processed every word you’ve said. You noticed with a heavy heart when it stopped, when he finally took in the meaning behind your words, and then…

Then you saw nothing.

And that only made your heart break even more.

“As I said, I was wrong” you repeated, pressing the elevator button violently, “I’m sorry, Agent Hotchner. I hope the case ends well. I’ll hand you my resignation once you’re back home”.

And without a word more, you left.

…

Prentiss called to let you know the case had ended only two days after you left — not that you wanted to know, but you had told Hotch you’d hand your resignation once he was back, so you were grateful she called. She didn’t ask if you were okay, because you clearly weren’t, and you were grateful for that, too (even if Derek and Penelope did call to know if you were feeling okay).

Aaron didn’t call.

He didn’t reach out.

Didn’t send a message or an email.

He was dead silent.

You had learnt from Derek that Kate Joyner had been killed on an explosion meant to hit her and Hotch, and that Morgan had driven him back to Quantico once Aaron was cleared from the hospital. He didn’t need to tell you, but you knew he had talked to Aaron (or either talked while Aaron listened) about what you said before leaving, about your feelings and how you were ready to resign because of the way he treated you; you also knew from his voice that he wanted you to ask what had been Hotch’s answer to their talk, but you didn’t want to know. Your heart was already too damaged to accept another blow.

It had been around the third day since the end of the case when someone knocked on your door. You had asked the team not to come over, not wanting them to see you on the state you were — hair disheveled, eyes puffy and red from crying —, and much less have to answer to questions you weren’t ready to answer; but you had been receiving a visit from your neighbor, Mr. Clark, who had caught you crying alone once and since then had been visiting you on the same hour everyday to make sure you were doing okay.

He was also helping you look for new jobs, even if he was trying to convince you to do something less dangerous than working for the FBI. It wasn’t working.

“Hello, Mr.—” you cut yourself off immediately when your eyes met the newcomer, your lips slightly parted as you took in his image, “Agent Hotchner?”.

You noticed how he flinched at your words, moving slightly back as if you had shot him straight on the heart, and not just called him by his title. Still, Aaron tried to keep himself perfectly composed (as always), one hand hiding something on his back as he fidgets with his fingers with the other.

If you hadn’t spent the past weeks crying over him, you’d have found it adorable.

“What are you doing here?” you asked sharply, your eyes scanning him one more time before you stopped to find his eyes, almost losing yourself on their brown — almost green, depending on the light — immensity.

“I wanted to talk to you” Aaron replied, rolling his eyes at the notice of how obvious his words were, “I wanted to apologize”.

You tilted your head to the side, your body clearly blocking his way inside your apartment — something you’ve never done before, “Okay. Done. You can go now”.

Your words were harsher than they’ve always been, void and certain, mostly because you knew you still loved him, and that if he asked to go inside, you’d allow. You’d buy anything he said in order to feed the fantasy of you two being more than friends, of the possibility of you being what you wanted you to be.

“Can we talk?” Aaron pleaded, taking a step towards you, “Please”.

“Why? So you can ignore everything I said at the precinct and cry over Kate’s death?” you spat out, and maybe you shouldn’t have talked about someone’s death with the coldness you’ve done, but you were honestly tired of Aaron and his bullshit, “I offered myself to help you, Aaron, because I knew you were suffering over your divorce. And if for some miracle Haley and you decided to go back together and try again, I’d swallow my feelings and let my heart break as I watch you and her trying to rebuild what you had, because I know how much you suffered over losing her. How much you miss being Jack’s father everyday…” you raised one finger, pointing directly at Aaron’s heart — the heart you still loved more than everything, “But I’m not stupid. I won’t let you step on my feeling to cry over another woman after I’ve told you how I feel, after I’ve pathetically confessed my love to you. I’m worthy more than that, Aaron! I deserve more than someone who only needs me when they’re emotionally vulnerable. I deserve to be loved, Aaron!”.

Aaron was silent for a moment, his eyes scanning your face as he observed the first tears rolling down. You thought he wouldn’t say anything, that maybe he’d only move away as you told him to, but he didn’t.

He took a step towards you, using his free hand to clear your tears, “I know” Aaron whispered, licking his lips, “And I should’ve thought about it, about your feelings, before putting mine on top of them. And I apologize, even if I know it’s not enough”.

No, it wasn’t. Because merely apologizing wouldn’t erase the memory of him observing as you poured your heart out and dismissing it on behalf of another woman. It wouldn’t erase the comments, and how he belittled you. It wouldn’t erase the pain you’ve felt on the plane back, or how pathetic Erin Strauss made you feel for abandoning the field over personal problems.

“I didn’t notice you were in love with me because I was trying to brush past the fact that I had fallen in love with you, of how inappropriate it would look like for Strauss, of how it could jeopardize your career…” Aaron cleared his throat, looking at the ground, “And how bad I felt over the fact that you were trying to help me with my marital problems, and I was too busy noticing how beautiful your smile is. I didn’t believe it was right for me to fall in love with you, because I didn’t deserve someone as pure as you”.

You remained silent; your arms crossed in front of your body. You knew there was something else he wanted to say, so you allowed him to.

“I imagine you heard someone talking about how… how much Kate looked like Haley”.

You snorted bitterly, and that seemed to attract his attention back to you, “Everyone. Even I thought that when I saw her”.

Aaron nodded slowly, this time his eyes didn’t move from yours, “When I saw her, all I could see was Haley. And I tried to convince myself that the fact I was shaken by that meant that I was still in love with Haley, and that I didn’t have to worry about my feelings for you, that I wouldn’t mess up our friendship because there weren’t feelings between us… but whenever I looked your way, or talked to you, I’d feel my heartbeat faster. And when I looked at Kate, I felt… empty. As if I was staring at an old ghost” he confessed, and you could see on his demeanor how confessing that pained him — either because he was confessing in a way that he wasn’t in love with Haley anymore, or because he felt bad speaking ill of the dead, you weren’t sure, “So I tried to force myself into find that old spark, the way I felt for Haley, something that would prove to me that I wasn’t in love with you, but I failed. And I failed you in the meantime”.

You took a sharp breath, hating yourself for the way you started to play with your necklace, “Where does it put us, Aaron?” you asked painfully, “Because I won’t go through that again”.

Aaron took his hand off his back, showing you the small Tifanny box he had been hiding, your breath getting immediately caught on your throat as you reached for the object hesitantly, “I’m not proposing to you” he clarified at the look on your face, “I couldn’t, not after just getting divorced… and I also can’t be in a relationship with you, now. I want to, but I need to settle things with Jack before I bring someone knew into my life, and I need to prove to you that I mean it when I say I love you”.

“Aaron…” you whispered, opening up the lid to reveal a golden lock pendant, one that you knew all too well — one you had nonchalantly commented with Aaron you wanted, but thought nothing of it, believing he hadn’t paid any mind at your words. He had, “I can’t… I can’t accept it, I—”.

“I’m not trying to buy your forgiveness, I’m not stupid to think you’d accept a gift in exchange of it” he cut you off, “But I want you to keep it as a promise that I’ll try to make it up to you every day, until you can forgive me. And that I’ll wait for you ‘til my last breath, if needed”.

You looked up at Aaron, nodding slowly.

You knew by the look on his face that you’d be the one leading them from that moment on, that if you wanted to just get the necklace and tell him to go, he’d go without missing a heartbeat. But you didn’t want it. Aaron was willing to try, to win your forgiveness and to respect your feelings in a way he hadn’t before.

“We’re a team” you muttered under your breath, opening up a smile.

So maybe you owed it to yourself to try, too.

Aaron gave you a similar smile, nodding, “We’re a team. The best team”.

And as you took a step to the side, inviting Aaron to enter your apartment, you knew you had already forgiven him.

Thank you for the request ✨

#aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x reader #criminal minds #hotch #hotch x reader #hotch x you #aaron hotchner fanfic #aaron hotchner imagine #aaron hotchner fanfiction #aaron hotchner oneshot #anon <3

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anniebeemine · 2 months ago

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requests? say no more.

ok this is a little angsty so only if you're comfortable but maybe s2 spencer and reader have been dating for 3-4 months when the whole tobias thing happens. spencer starts pushing away reader and wont tell her anything. bc this is a new relationship she is very confused and insecure and confronts him asking if he wants to break up and he doesn't know bc on one hand he cares about her but on the other hand he is embarrassed and doesnt want her to deal with this so new in a relationship. happy ending PLEASE (for my soul)

as you can tell i have thought about this A LOT lmao

my heart hurts... (i haven't seen this arc in a while so I hope this is accurate enough)

warnings: discussions of addiction, happy-ish ending. I left it open ended but positive

You and Spencer had only been dating for a few months when everything started to unravel. At first, it had been perfect—those sweet, awkward moments when he was still trying to figure out how to be in a relationship, the way his eyes lit up when he saw you, the late-night talks that stretched into the early hours of the morning. But after a week away, everything changed.

You weren’t exactly sure what had happened. You didn't want to press, but his friends had warned you that it was bad. All you knew for sure was that Spencer had come back different. The spark in his eyes was dulled, and he barely looked at you anymore. There was no explanation, no details of the trauma he'd endured, just this cold distance that settled between you. You’d sit on the couch together, but it felt like you were miles apart. He was always tugging at his sleeve, fidgeting, avoiding eye contact. His hands used to brush against yours absentmindedly, and now they stayed firmly in his lap, clenched into fists.

He didn’t stay long during those visits either—every time he showed up, it felt like he was itching to leave. You’d ask him to stay for dinner or suggest going for a walk, and he’d make some excuse, slipping away before you could even finish your sentence. You tried to give him space, hoping it was just a phase, but the more space you gave him, the more it felt like he was pulling away entirely.

Eventually, the visits became shorter and shorter until they stopped happening altogether. Weeks went by without hearing from him, and your calls went straight to voicemail. You didn’t know how to navigate it. You knew Spencer had been through something terrible, but he wouldn’t let you in. And it hurt. It hurt in ways you hadn’t expected. You weren’t just confused—you were insecure. Was it you? Was it something you did? Did he want to break up?

The questions swirled in your mind until you couldn’t take it anymore. One night, you couldn’t sleep, your thoughts running wild. You sat there in the dark, staring at your phone, your heart aching. You missed him. You missed his voice, his touch, the way he would ramble about anything and everything because it made him feel more comfortable. And now, all you had was silence.

You needed answers. You needed to know where you stood before you drove yourself mad.

The next day, you found yourself outside his apartment, your heart pounding in your chest. You raised your hand to knock, but it hovered in the air, hesitation weighing you down. What if he didn’t want to see you? What if you were making everything worse by showing up like this?

But you pushed those thoughts aside and knocked.

It took a minute, but eventually, the door creaked open. Spencer stood there, looking just as tired and worn out as you’d imagined. His eyes flicked to you, surprise flashing across his face before he quickly tried to mask it.

"Y/N?" His voice was hoarse, almost like he hadn’t used it in a while.

“Spencer,” you said softly, swallowing the lump in your throat. “Can I come in?”

He hesitated, then stepped aside, letting you enter. The apartment was dimly lit, with stacks of books and papers cluttering the space. You sat down on the couch, and he sat across from you, his eyes glued to the floor.

You didn’t know how to start, so you just blurted it out. “Spencer, what’s going on? You’ve been so distant, and I... I just need to know if you want to break up.”

His head snapped up, eyes wide with shock. “What? No, I—”

“Then what is it?” you interrupted, your voice shaking. “You won’t talk to me, you won’t tell me anything. You barely even look at me anymore. I feel like... like I don’t even know you right now.”

Spencer flinched, and you could see the guilt wash over his face. He rubbed his hands together, still tugging on his sleeve like it was some sort of comfort. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t mean to make you feel like that.”

“Then why?” you asked, your voice breaking. “Why are you pushing me away? If you care about me at all, please just tell me.”

Spencer stayed silent for a long moment, his brow furrowed in thought. When he finally spoke, his voice was barely audible. “I... I didn’t want you to deal with this.”

You frowned, confused. “Deal with what?”

He looked away again, his fingers trembling. “What happened... with... it... it changed me. I’m not... I’m not the same. I didn’t want you to have to see that or deal with it. I didn’t want to burden you with it when... when this relationship is still so new.”

Your heart clenched at his words, the weight of what he was saying finally sinking in. “Spencer... you’re not a burden. You’re never a burden.”

He shook his head, his voice laced with frustration. “You don’t understand. I’m embarrassed. I’m... ashamed. And I don’t want to drag you into that.”

You reached out and gently took his hand in yours, your thumb brushing over his knuckles. “I don’t care what happened, Spencer. I care about you. I want to be here for you, no matter what. But you have to let me in. You can’t keep shutting me out.”

Spencer’s hand trembled slightly in yours, his eyes still distant, but there was a softness to his gaze now that hadn’t been there before. You could see the exhaustion, the pain he’d been carrying alone. He sat up straighter, a sigh escaping his lips as though he were gathering the courage to continue.

“I... I haven’t been honest with you,” he started, his voice rough with emotion. He looked down at his lap, his fingers still fidgeting. “I’ve been using.”

Your breath hitched in your throat. It felt like time slowed for a second, the weight of those words crashing into you like a tidal wave. You didn’t want to believe it, didn’t want to go down this road—but when you looked into his eyes, you saw the truth there. His face may have been painted with shame and anger, but his eyes… they were pleading. Pleading for understanding, for help.

“Spencer…” you whispered, your voice barely audible. You didn’t know what to say—part of you wanted to scream, to run, to escape the reality that was suddenly in front of you. But another part of you—the part that loved him deeply, that had spent countless nights by his side—knew you couldn’t abandon him now.

He pressed his lips into a thin line, trying and failing to keep the tears at bay. “I didn’t want to tell you,” he admitted, his voice shaking. “I thought... I thought I could handle it. That I could stop on my own.” He looked at your hand holding his, the tension in his body slowly easing. “I’m scared,” he admitted softly. “I’m scared that you’ll see the worst parts of me and... and you’ll leave.”

His words hit you hard. You could feel the vulnerability in every syllable, and your heart ached for him. You swallowed hard, your hand tightening around his as you whispered, “You don’t have to handle it alone. You don’t have to hide this from me.”

His breath hitched, and he turned his face away, wiping at his eyes quickly. He was still holding back, his guard up even as the cracks began to show. “I didn’t want you to see me like this. I didn’t want you to know how weak I am.”

Your heart broke at the vulnerability in his voice. You squeezed his hand tighter, shaking your head. “I’m not going anywhere, Spencer. I’m here. And I’m not giving up on what's here.”

“Spencer, look at me,” you urged, your voice trembling with emotion. He hesitated for a moment before finally meeting your gaze, and what you saw nearly broke you. His face was twisted in pain, his eyes red-rimmed with tears. “You’re not weak,” you said softly. “You’ve been through hell, and you’re still standing. That’s not weakness.”

He shook his head violently. “No, you don’t understand.” His voice cracked, the dam he’d been holding back finally breaking. “I thought you’d leave me. I’ve been waiting for it. I’m a mess. I’m broken. I didn’t want to... drag you down with me.”

Your heart shattered at his words, at the depth of his self-loathing and fear. You could see now how much he had been struggling alone, how much he had kept bottled up inside, and it broke your heart that he thought he didn’t deserve help—or you.

Without a second thought, you pulled him into your arms, cradling him close. His body tensed for a moment before he melted into you, burying his face in your shoulder as his tears finally spilled over. He sobbed quietly, his hands gripping the back of your shirt as if afraid to let go.

“I’m not leaving,” you whispered fiercely, running your fingers through his hair. “I’m not going anywhere. We’ll get through this, okay? We’ll figure it out together.”

He cried harder, his body shaking with each sob, and you held him tighter, pressing your cheek against his. “I thought… I thought I’d lost you,” he choked out. “I didn’t know how to... how to tell you. I thought I’d ruined everything.”

“You haven’t ruined anything, Spencer,” you assured him, your own voice breaking now. “I love you. We’ll get through this. I’m here. I’m right here.”

For what felt like an eternity, the two of you stayed like that—wrapped up in each other, holding onto the pieces of what had felt so fragile only moments before. His sobs gradually quieted, and he pulled back just enough to look at you, his eyes still glistening with tears but filled with something else too—relief. Hope.

“You don’t have to do this alone,” you reminded him gently, brushing a tear from his cheek. “I’m not leaving, and we’ll find help. We’ll get through this together.”

He nodded, his fingers brushing lightly over yours as he whispered, “Thank you.” His voice cracked, but there was sincerity there—real, raw emotion that made your heart ache for him even more.

“Always,” you whispered, pulling him close again, feeling the warmth of his body against yours. You knew this wouldn’t be easy—there would be hard days, long nights, moments of doubt. But as long as you had him and he had you, you were ready to face whatever came next.

#criminal minds #spencer reid #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reidx reader #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x you #fanfic

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greenqueenhightower · 5 months ago

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My Rhaenicent people, don’t fret about the Alicole leaks for S2!

I think the writers will continue to emphasize the parallel narratives between Alicent and Rhaenyra as they have been doing in S1. They have already established a connection which cannot be severed, but will be tested in its entirety during the Dance (which I’m quite excited for, since I love angsty stuff).

I’m excited for the moments when Alicent and Rhaenyra will be pensive or doubtful when they will have to make important decisions that would, in the end, affect each other, due to overwhelming reminders of their childhood bond. Imagine Rhaenyra plotting her attack and all of a sudden her eye falls on the torn page from her book that Alicent kept for 20 years. Or, imagine Alicent going to the sept and kneeling on the same spot that Rhaenyra and she knelt years ago to pray together. Or, imagine Alicent has kept the blade she used to cut Rhaenyra’s arm long hidden and stacked away somewhere, only to reveal it one night as she’s about to make a terrible decision. AND THEN the show cuts to Rhaenyra caressing her wound, lost in her thoughts, as she’s about to make an equally devastating decision herself.

This is what I want from S2, all those little parallels and waves of resurfacing memories and moments of what could have been that hit you on the face like a tsunami. I want them to enter into this inevitable war knowing very well that they will have to hurt each other, and that’s what’s hurting them in return.

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probably-writing-x · 1 year ago

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Doomed.

summary: okay so like conrad x reader where she’s belly’s best friend that went to cousins every summer and got with conrad and basically are dating like him/belly in s2 with everything going on with susannah and either while they’re still together or after they break up she goes to brown to tell him she’s pregnant and just very angsty 💗

You weren’t sure of the exact moment you’d lost Conrad. But part of you felt like it was doomed before it had even started. Like he was a ticking time bomb just waiting to explode, to disappear. Sometimes you thought he could see a future with you. And other times it felt like your whole relationship was simply him counting down the days. He broke your heart without ever really having it. The two of you were destined to end, as much as part of you wanted so badly to convince yourself that you wouldn’t.

“I’m just saying (y/n) we can leave any time you want, honestly. I’m obviously glad that you’re coming with me but I totally get it if you want to leave,” Belly assures you from the passenger seat as the two of you turn past the Cousins sign.

“Come on, it’s fine,” You return, “I wouldn’t have offered to drive if I didn’t feel okay about being here. Plus, this place has memories for all of us, I don’t want to lose that either.”

You glance out of the window to the houses passing by the car, the way they all seem to blur into one until you reach that one.

Jeremiah’s car is already parked up outside and him and Steven get out together, looking back as the two of you pull in.

“Well, it’s a good sign his car is here,” Belly points out the four by four parked up closest to the house.

You pull your keys from the ignition and take a deep breath, one that seems to rattle against your chest. For a moment, it all comes flooding back to you.

——Six Months Earlier——

“I really hope you’re not telling me that we drove all this way and you forgot the fucking keys,” You groan, wrapping your arms around yourself and rubbing your hands up your arms to keep the heat in a little.

“It’s a new car, okay? I’m not used to my keys being separate,” Conrad returns coldly, rummaging through his bag to find anything resembling the keys.

“Okay they’re not in there,” You shake your head, “Lets just find somewhere to stay or something.”

He stands up straight and looks at you, frowning, “This weekend was meant to be perfect. Drive all the way here, go to the beach, whole house to ourselves, we were-“

“Hey,” You cup his cheek, brushing a thumb over the skin, “Come on, we’re here together, I don’t care what we do.”

He leans into your touch and turns his chin to press his lips against your palm.

“Actually,” He pulls away from you, “I’ve got an idea.”

“I don’t trust that,” You grimace but he laughs and pulls your hand into his, dragging you behind him.

Both of you pile back into the car and he grins in your direction, driving you back away from the house and down the street in the opposite direction to the way you’d came in. You’d learnt that in the times when Conrad was being spontaneous, it was better to just let him do it. He got an idea and ran with it and it was better to run with him than try to pull him back.

“Okay so where are you taking us?” You ask him as he turns into another corner, eventually stopping the car.

When you look out of the windshield, you can just about make out the shape of the rolling waves in the dark, glistening a little in the clouded moonlight. You’re parked behind the dunes, a single spot in a clearing of the trees, the same trees that gather behind the car like a crowded shelter.

“I’ve got blankets and pillows in the back of the car from when you stayed at my dorm,” He explains, “We can set up a bed in the back, sleep in the car.”

“I love this life of luxury Fisher,” You joke.

“I’m sorry this didn’t work out like we thought it would.”

You reach over and squeeze his hand, “We’re together, aren’t we?”

You both climb out of the car and set up the pillows, blankets and comforters in the back of the car, folding the back seats down to give yourselves more space. Conrad reverses and turns the car so that the trunk faces out to the sea, noting that you’ll thank him for it in the morning when you see the view.

“There we go, that’s pretty good if you ask me,” You grin, “But I’m so tired I think I’d sleep anywhere.”

You get in beside him and both of you shuffle under the covers until you’re comfortable. His long legs fold under the comforter in your direction and you shift again to try and find the right spot.

“Connie I love you but could you please-“

“You what?” He stops you, leaning up onto his elbows.

“I-“ You feel your cheeks burn red hot at the words, “I just meant that I wanted you to move over-“

“You love me?” His voice is soft and full of excitement, his eyes creasing with the intensity of his smile.

You throw your hands over your face, wishing away the embarrassment, “Forget I said anything I didn’t mean-“

You feel him shift beside you until he’s hovering over your form, his hands reaching out to pull each of yours away from your face.

“You love me,” He confirms once again, “I love you more.”

You fight back a smile as you watch him speak the words, letting them echo in the space between you.

“Say it again,” You grin widely, your expression matching his.

Conrad chuckles and leans down to press his lips to yours, soft but yet so certain of himself. Unlike any time he’d kissed you before - this one sealed with love.

—— Now ——

“(Y/n)?” Belly calls over to you, “Are you coming?”

You look up to see all three of them stood at the doorway, leaving you in the driveway towards the house. You shake your head to clear away your reminiscent moments and look back to them.

“Yeah, sorry, just spaced out for a second,” You nod, hurrying your steps a little more in their direction.

When you all get into the house, the sound of his voice is what your ears instantly tune into. So distinct. So clear against the echoing walls.

“Dad I’ll talk to you later,” His voice snaps as he rounds the corner, stopping at the sight of the four of you.

Conrad’s eyes fall to Jere first, move to Belly and to Steven, before landing on you.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

You know he’s speaking to all of you, but you wince like the words were meant for your ears only.

“Enough of the knight in shining armour act, Conrad. We’re here to help,” Jeremiah defends, “This house means just as much to us as it does to you.”

“I don’t want to hear it, okay? I’ve got it under control,” Conrad returns, dragging a hand through his hair as he tears his eyes away from you.

“Really? Because it doesn’t fucking seem like it,” Jeremiah scoffs, “Be fucking honest with yourself Conrad, you’re just as lost as we are.”

“I can handle it!” Conrad raises his voice and you flinch instantly, your hands clenching as the anxiety courses through you.

His eyes drop back to you and his face softens, as if instantly aware of his impact.

And it takes you right back.

—— 3 Months Earlier ——

“I’m just saying I think it’s just a way better movie, you know?” You persist, opening the passenger side door of the car, “And the storyline is just so much better it’s like-“

You pause when you see him, his eyes drifting off to the road, his ears turned off to your words.

“Con? Are you listening?”

He glances up and back to you, “Oh, um, sorry, what did you say?”

You frown just a little and place your hand over his on the gearstick of the car, “Is something going on? You’ve been quiet ever since we got to the theater.”

It’s as if another light switches off in him when you ask, “No, no, I’m okay.”

“Con,” You reach up to brush the hair away from his forehead, “Talk to me.”

“I just-“ He pauses at your touch, as if pocketing it, “There’s just a lot going on, you know? With the funeral, and Jere, and college and Stanford and… I just don’t know how much more I can take.”

“Nobody’s asking you to take on all of this by yourself, okay?” You cup his cheek, “I’m here, you’ve got Laurel and Steven and Belly, you’ve got a whole family of people that want to help. Do you know that?”

He closes his eyes for a second and nods, and you move your hand down to his chest to feel the beating of his heart against you.

“You don’t need to do everything on your own,” You repeat, “I’m here.”

He places his hand over yours but something feels empty, like his heart isn’t beating for you in the way you’d felt before. His eyes glaze over a little like they don’t really see you but you repress it anyway.

The two of you drive back to his college dorm and collapse into his bed to watch a movie, or two, or three. It seemed like Conrad’s batteries had already run out for the day and you’d do anything in your power to let him recharge. You’d put on his favourite films, and laid down on his chest as he tucked one arm underneath his head. His other arm wasn’t around you, however, it was holding his phone, scrolling through aimlessly.

“Con?” You glance up at him, “Do you want to do something else? We don’t have to watch this if you don’t want to, we co-“

“It’s fine,” He snaps harshly, not glancing away from the blue light screen.

You swallow the lump in your throat and lean up onto your elbows, bumping against the wall of his dorm in his single bed.

“Okay well something’s obviously not fine,” You comment, “Talk to me Conrad let me-“

“Just fucking stop with your ‘talk to me shit’,” He doesn’t raise his voice but he practically spits the words at you, tossing his phone down onto the side, “I don’t need you to be a therapist, okay? I don’t need that.”

“I’m not trying to be your therapist, I’m trying to be your girlfriend,” You defend, feeling the strength slip from you in the tremble in your hands.

“Well maybe I don’t need that either!”

He raises his voice then and you can tell he regrets it. He pushes himself up from the bed and stands, dragging a hand through his hair.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You speak and instantly hate yourself for the way the words tremble on your tongue, the way your whole body feels numb.

“I-“ He stops himself, pacing a little across the room, “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Then what did you mean it like? Because if that is what you want, then that’s what you’ll get. I’ll leave. I’ll go right now,” You sit up on the bed, “I’m not waiting around for you to change your mind.”

“(Y/n) I didn’t mean-“

“Go fuck yourself Conrad,” You state, standing up and grabbing your shoes and bag from the floor.

“(Y/n)!” He reaches out a hand and grabs you, turning you around to him.

“Tell me you want me to stay,” You look between each of his eyes, tears spilling out of your own, “Tell me you want me to be here, that you want me to be your girlfriend, that you still meant what you said when you told me you loved me. Tell me you want this.”

He’s silent, his lips parting with no words, his eyes filling like yours.

“Goodbye, Con.”

—— Now ——

You were stood in the shell of the room you used whenever you were in Cousins, it feeling oddly empty without Susannah’s touches dotted around. She’d leave you fresh towels on the sheets, and a new candle burning on the nightstand. This time, those little bits were missing.

Come to think of it, you couldn’t remember the last time you’d slept in this room. It got to a point where you’d stay in Conrads every night, even before the two of you were together. It started with late night conversations and transpired into you falling asleep on one side of his bed, then the two of you coming back late and stumbling through the dark into his room, then the two of you falling in love. You shake the thought away as quickly as it had arrived.

You sit down on the mattress and take a deep breath, glancing around at the room that you’d practically been brought up in - every summer spent within these walls. You weren’t ready to lose this house, it was simply another change in your life you weren’t ready to accept.

Your hand moves to rest on your stomach, already swollen and growing underneath the baggy t-shirt you had on. You take a deep breath and smooth over the skin, terrified of the idea of life being beneath your touch.

Before you can think any more, there’s a light knock at the door and you quickly drop your hand away.

“Sorry, it’s me,” Conrad pokes his head around the door, “Can I come in?”

“Sure.”

You shift over on the bed and he sits down beside you, glancing at your eyes before looking down to your tummy, and back up, as if he’s checking you over.

“How are you feeling?”

You swallow the lump in your throat.

——Two Months Earlier ——

The drive to Brown had never churned your stomach like this. Maybe that was the morning sickness - did that happen this early? Another thing to google.

You hadn’t spoken a word to Conrad since you’d left that day. The funeral was two weeks after, and you’d avoided him for the entire day. You didn’t need anything else to make the day worse, and neither did he.

But, only a couple of days after that, you’d seen lines on a test that confirmed all of your worst fears, all of your dreaded expectations.

You were pregnant. A month pregnant, from just before you and Conrad had split up. Could the timing be any worse?

You pull up into the parking lot and let out a shaky breath. You still knew his schedule from when you’d meet him from classes or know when he’d be free for you to call him. He’d be coming out of a biology lab any minute and going to his favourite spot by the water on campus just behind the building that nobody seemed to think existed. That’s where you wait, on one of the benches just on the edge of the water, your entire body trembling.

You hear him before you see him, mumbling a goodbye to one of his classmates as he circles around the corner towards the back of the building. He looks down at his phone before stuffing it back into his pocket, sighing deeply before looking up. His entire body stops in its tracks.

“(Y/n),” He exhales, closing the space between you until he’s stood in front of the bench, “What are you doing here?”

“We need to talk,” You manage to force out, clenching your hands together to stop them from shaking.

“Yeah, you’re right, we do,” He crouches down in front of you, “I’ve been thinking abo-“

“Con,” You cut him off, watching as the fragments of hope seem to dissipate from his eyes, “I’m pregnant.”

You see his shoulders drop a little as if the heaviest weight has towered down onto them.

“You’re-“ He clears his throat, “You’re pregnant.”

“About a month,” You confirm, “Before you ask, yes it’s definitely yours and no I have no idea what I’m doing.”

He seems to compose himself quickly, kicking into fight or flight mode, and he drops his books onto the floor, shifting so that he’s sat beside you. Cautiously, he reaches out and takes your hands into his.

“Are you okay?”

“Con did you not hear what I said?” You scoff, unable to keep eye contact with him for any longer.

“I know what you said, but I want to know if you’re okay first.”

“Well it’s not exactly been the easiest month,” You pull one hand free from his and drag it through your hair, letting him still hold your other cold hand between his, “And I know you have a lot going on and I’m sorry that this is awful timing but I-“

“Woah, woah, woah, don’t apologise for anything,” He shakes his head, “This isn’t your fault (y/n).”

You’re silent.

“And, hey, we’ll figure it out. Whatever we choose to do, whatever you choose to do, we’ll make it work. And we can-“

“See that’s the thing though, isn’t it Conrad? There isn’t a we anymore.”

He pauses, his grip loosening on you as if his hands have gone numb. His eyes drop to the floor before he glances back up, seemingly holding less hope than he had before.

“We’re not together anymore and this isn’t going to be the reason that changes,” You let out a breath you didn’t realise you’d been holding, “Of course you need to know because this is as much your baby as it is mine, but we’re not… how do we even begin to raise this baby when we can’t even take care of ourselves?”

“We’ll figure it out,” He nods as if trying to force some sort of certainty from him and into you, “We’ll do our research and we’ll speak to the doctor and we’ll read all the books and… we’ll make it work.”

You look down at your tummy, across to where his hand held yours, back up to his eyes - and it all just feels… numb. He wasn’t yours, and yet you were carrying his baby. You weren’t his, and yet this news had just changed his entire existence. A baby. You feel your stomach somersault once more and let out a shaky breath, no longer breathing for you but breathing for two.

—— Now ——

“Your scan is soon, right?” Conrad asks, “I did some research and they said that by now you should be able to-“

“Con,” You cut him off, looking down at your hands in your lap.

He frowns, “What is it?”

“I need you to be honest with me,” You let out s breath, “I need you to tell me if this is what you want. Because if it’s not, you can jump ship. I won’t hate you for it, I won’t resent you. But you need to decide whether this, all of this, is what you want.”

“(Y/n),” He speaks your name like it’s a breath clinging to his lips, “You seriously think I’d leave you to do this by yourself?”

You half-laugh, tears brewing in your eyes, “I wouldn’t blame you.”

“Hey,” He takes both of your hands into his, turning both of you to face each other, “A whole lot of stuff in my life is shitty right now, and I’ve made a lot of really fucked up decisions that I can’t take back. But not this. This is my lifeline (Y/n). You and this baby, it’s my lifeline.”

You swallow the lump in your throat.

“I’ll be better, I’ll be better than I was, I’ll do it all better.”

You look into his eyes, eyes that you’d once been so sure you could trust with your life. The lips that had kissed promises into you that you were sure would never break. The hands that you once thought would catch you from any fall. But all of it holds such an uncertainty now. Those eyes are the same ones that didn’t shed a tear when they broke your heart. And those lips are the same ones that yells and curses spilled so freely from. Those hands are the same ones who no longer wanted to hold you when you needed them the most. And that’s why, despite the certainty you want to convince yourself is held behind his words, you drain all emotion from your voice and say;

“Will you?”

#tsitp #the summer i turned pretty #tsitp conrad #conrad x reader #conrad x you #conrad x y/n #conrad imagine #conrad one shot #conrad drabble #conrad blurb #conrad angst #conrad request #tsitp imagine #tsitp one shot #tsitp drabble #tsitp blurb #tsitp request #tsitp angst

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autumnmobile12 · 5 months ago

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Helluva Boss S2 Trailer: “You don’t love mother and you don’t love me!”

I have a problem with this line, and I’ve had a problem with Octavia’s character for awhile now, so I’m going to talk about it.

To cut her some slack, her house and family life is a mess. Fighting parents, cheating dad, feeling neglected by both parents, and she’s a teenager on top of that. I get it. Moody, angsty teen with a really good reason for being moody and angsty.

And Stolas isn’t blameless in all this. With the cheating, he’s actively a problem, but we can see that he loves his ‘little owlet.’ But he is a terrible father. In the Seeing Stars episode, I thought that it was going to be a lot more Stolas and Octavia-centric on their relationship, but no. He and Blitzo spend most of the time looking for her just dicking around in some human comedy act when they really didn’t need to be there. Seriously, it wouldn’t have been the first time Blitzo massacred a group of humans to get out of an awkward situation, but if Stolas is so concerned about his daughter, then why didn't he do something about their situation? If he loves his daughter so much, why is he okay with this distraction? He's not even the one who gets him out of it in the end. That was the first time Helluva Boss actually disappointed me. I don’t think the brief bit of backstory we got with Blitzo and Loona justified the rest of that whole bit, so it was really pointless. That piece could have been handled better.

Throughout the Stolitz ship, Stolas is 100% ignoring Octavia. But terrible dad aside, the line from the Season 2 trailer, “You don’t love Mother and you don’t love me!” should be emotional.

Except…. “You don’t love Mother….”

…why would he?

Does Octavia not see what a violent, toxic bitch her mom is? She has seen her screaming, getting violent, and throwing things. I suppose Octavia could have the opinion that Stella's anger is justified with the cheating and all, but then that explanation implies she thinks reacting violently like that is acceptable behavior. And let’s not forget Stella straight up ordered a hit on Stolas, which nearly succeeded. Does Octavia not know about this? Again, Stolas being a terrible dad for not taking steps to get the daughter he supposedly loves away from the psycho who ordered an assassination, but did none of this get back to Octavia?

Not that any of it makes Stolas' infidelity okay. If you're unhappy in a relationship, leave it. But with the way Stella behaves, there's no rational way Octavia can expect her parents to love each other. It sucks to be the child in that position, especially a teen still figuring things out, but that is very much an 'it is what it is' situation and you gotta make the best of it in whatever way you can.

As it stands, it isn't fair for Octavia to entirely blame Stolas for their family falling apart.

"You don't love mother and you don't love me," makes it sound like Octavia is consciously choosing her violent, narcissistic witch of mother over her dad. This also doesn't make sense with the plot because there's no sign of Octavia having a close relationship with her mom. There are no portraits of them together in a loving embrace as we see with her and Stolas. Plus, Stella doesn't care about Octavia. The only two times in the show she vaguely mentions her is as the 'one egg that finally dropped out of her' and when she and Andrealphus are discussing the inheritance that will go to Octavia. She doesn't care about Stolas either. The only effect the cheating had on her was the idea of public embarrassment for their family.

Neither of Octavia's parents care for her the way they should, so for the, "You don't love mother and you don't love me," line to work to its fullest impact, it should have been phrased as, “You don’t love me! Neither you or Mom love me!”

I do love Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel…but Octavia’s character is really poorly handled. I remember it being said in an interview that Helluva Boss does have heavier focus on its male characters while Hazbin Hotel was supposed to be more female-centric, but when it comes to Octavia, that structure in the storytelling is crumbling under its own weight. There is a story here and it has some major gaps that need addressing.

To give them some benefit of doubt, maybe this’ll be addressed in an episode before that line hits, so maybe it’ll make more sense. Or they could make it clear she said it out of anger. At least, I hope so because I really need some righteous retribution for how Stolas behaves with his daughter.

...

Edit for clarity: The point of this post is a criticism of the lack of story we get for Octavia that justifies her motives, not a criticism of why she herself behaves the way that she does. The dysfunctional family is heavy stuff and since it is a front and center issue with Stolas' background, it needs more attention than the series gives it.

#helluva boss #octavia #stolas #stella #blitzo #stolitz #season 2 #criticism #vivziepop #18+ series

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alwaysrunningoutoftime · 5 months ago

Text

the bear sydcarmy thoughts (season 3 spoilers)

I have never felt so dead inside and empty. I ended the season literally burning up. Perhaps I got my hopes up too much which wasn’t a lot tbh. I expected with sydcarmy the s3 ender was gonna be like a fight because of a reveal of her opportunity and maybe maybe a realization of feelings. But wow not that at all, in fact there was nothing really resolved.

I was expecting the angst and to be pissed off at Camry but but we’ve never been so immeasurably down and I have to say I don’t know how I feel about sydcarmy now.

What I notice is these two really took a nosedive this season. We went so downhill. In prior seasons we can usually expect by the end for some resolution to happen between the two, syd comes back, or we get like the lovely table scene. This season it’s like they got progressively farther and father apart.

We started off so strong with the EMP scene. Like I couldn’t fucking believe we actually got that scene, i shot up out of my seat it was so surreal.

And then as we continue to go, there’s barely any moments between the two together. And when there is, they’re always cut short. And you’re kind of just left short, wanting more. And i guess that was on purpose to show them so out of sync and their biggest weakness, communication. They really became just two coworkers, so unfamiliar with each other. And I was truly hoping we’d get something from the Ever scenes but no carmy is just so isolated.

And again I guess that’s the point. Carmy is so in his head, so haunted by Claire and David, so focused on the restaurant that he’s not trying at all to form a connection with syd (platonic nor romantic). He’s so focused on his past and carrying the weight of things left unsaid that as the al anon meeting says, it just digs deeper and deeper with him. Because he never bothers to resolve his issues, go to therapy and apologize to Claire.

So here’s the thing about Claire. It’s obvious he needed to resolve what happened with her. But what was really jarring to me was the amount of Claire scenes we got. In season 2 Claire is depicted as a distraction, there is always this constant clock running in the background with her. Carmy doesn’t even know exactly what Claire is to him, “a girl that’s a friend or a girlfriend.” Their relationship is so surface level. And then we start getting these s3 scenes and it feels like they’re retconning their relationship because this isn’t the claire and carmy from season 2. And if they were so great together why wouldn’t you show us then! Where are all these scenes coming from. But okay let’s say storer did hear people’s complaints and chose to give more to clairecarmy, then I feel so horribly fucked as a sydcarmy shipper cause why would you give us such obvious editing and juxtaposition between Sydney and Claire in s2 and turn around and do this. It feels like a betrayal. And worse of all the whole “Claire is your peace” THATS NOT WHAT THE PANIC ATTACK SCENE SAID IN S2, syd is the one who calmed him down. And despite seeing all these clairecarmy scenes they cannot measure up to the substance, the complexity of sydcarmy. And worse of all they didn’t even resolve the clairecarmy bs. And if they’ve spent so much time shoving these two in our face and I meant to believe those two are endgame, that they are meant to be together. god I’m gonna throw up, I feel so played.

But then my hope, perhaps my delusional is the EMP meal scene. It tells me that there will always be this invisible string between sydcarmy and as Chris storer said himself it’s about “finding the right people when you’re supposed to find them.”

Syd is right at the end of episode 1, is it supposed to indicate she is the endgame.

What worries me though is if they take this in a platonic direction, the platonic soulmates bs and continue on with clairecarmy.

So anyway back on carmy, and him keeping everything in and avoiding his problems. That is the reason why this season is so angsty. Carmy regresses severely and he is so lonely, you really feel it at the end of the season as everyone shares their story and he is too focused on David to connect with anyone. And then when he finally confronts David, he realizes nothing he says to this man matters. His words don’t mean shit. And it feels especially poignant because he’s been holding onto this for years, all this anger and hatred. He even follows in David’s footsteps with his own restaurant: “the greatest mistake is working for a bad boss, what it unlocks in you is the culture that you choose to create.” And they juxtapose David with Claire. And again is this the clairecarmy agenda being pushed. Or I also see it as him finally having confronted David, he now needs to resolve whatever the fuck he needs to with Claire.

Okay so onto Terry. Terry says: “i got to do all the things i wanted to do the way i wanted to do with the people i wanted to do it with.” And this is the thing carmy has to strive for, to create that good culture again. To make connections again. I mean correct me if I’m wrong but the only person he really connects with is Marcus (his actual mentee) he doesn’t really talk to Sydney, doesn’t resolve anything with Richie, I think he doesn’t even really talk to Sugar. And I’m realizing now, throughout the season there were so many people connecting with different people (off the top of my head: Marcus and Tina, Tina and Nat, Nat and Richie, Richie and Sydney, Sydney and Marcus). There’s so many more and different duos going on, and carmys barely a part of any of it. And then with Sydney’s party, while everyone’s celebrating and carmys just on his own.

We really emphasize his loneliness. There’s also the Sydney and Luca conversation about siblings, and then Sydney’s loneliness and her experiencing everything on her own and being used to dealing with things on her alone. And we see that in her panic attack scene, and she has no anchor (as someone else pointed out), no one there to comfort her. And it ending on this loneliness that follows both sydney and carmy around and that’s another thing that ties them together.

I don’t really know how to end this. I don’t know how I feel about sydcarmy right now, what the show is trying to tell me. Should I have faith in their invisible string, in them being tied together by loneliness. I understand this was the angst season and carmy really regressed, and he was focused on David and Claire. Is this season pivoting and telling me clairecarmy are endgame, or is it carmy being haunted by the still unresolved things between them? I can accept the added romance to their relationship, I mean she is his first real gf, there has to be good there. Does this necessarily mean their endgame or is she just a stepping stone, a first gf someone he is meant to learn lessons from, to then have his endgame with Sydney? (I think of new girl and the various good relationships nick and jess went through before getting endgame.)

THEY COULDNT RESOLVE ONE FUCKING THING!

And then the “to be continued” sign. Is this what people felt when they watched Across the Spiderverse, but like we were actually building towards something there. All I’m left with is dread with the bear.

Lastly I am so conflicted by this partnership. I have no idea what I want syd to choose. There will be a big show of loyalty if Sydney chooses to stick with carmy, I mean I also have to respect the loyalty in her also choosing the crew, her family (like Marcus and Tina and Nat). But we also see how far Sydney and carmy drifted from each other and we see the loss of their collocation and their synchronization. The way Carmy rebuffs all her suggestions. So im like “yeah fuck carmy, go off on your own syd.” And if she were to choose to stay that would be such a big sign of something more to me because now she’s choosing to believe in his potential, which is a big fucking deal.

But then I also think about the growth carmy experienced from learning at all these places. And how Sydney deserves that too. And also carmys speech about the chefs and learning from each other and branching out on their own. And maybe it’s that too, Sydney spreading her wings. But then no, I’m selfishly like no I don’t want her to leave.

But then maybe it’s meant to show growth in carmy, he was the one who left before. Now he has to trust in syd to leave and come back again. Idk.

Or yeah maybe syd just deserves to fuck off, become successful and fuck over this man.

I also think about that one twt post where the bear is about “Carmy falling in love with Sydney. And Sydney falling out with carmy” and god that would fuck me up so bad.

Am I meant to hold out hope, like this is rock bottom and there’s only up from here. Or is this them extinguishing the fire of sydcarmy for us? I understand we always have fan fiction and canons not everything, but the way camry and Sydney’s relationship, even platonically, was handled this season left me with a bad taste in my mouth.

Idk where I’m going with this. I don’t even know how I feel about sydcarmy anymore, I want to read a fic to soothe me but I don’t even think carmy deserves to be happy with Sydney right now. Idk let me know your thoughts, maybe my fellow sydcarmys can pull me out.

Also if there’s a discord I would love to join because I don’t think I can deal with this on my own right now 😭.

#sydcarmy #literally my stream of thoughts #pls keep in mind I wrote this out literally straight from binge watching so take it easy on me

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keysmashingfantasies · 2 years ago

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Hi! I absolutely love your fics and since AiB S2 had just ended, I was hoping you would take a Chishiya fic request. I'm a sucker for the enemies to lovers trope and was thinking it could be incorporated in the Jack of Hearts game (basically reader and Chishiya have no choice but to trust each other despite their differences). Amidst their tension, since they need to trust each other, both Chishiya and reader get to understand the other over time. Maybe a bit of angsty fluff?

Merry Christmas (if you celebrate) and Happy Holidays! I hope you get to enjoy this season of festivities!

hi! merry (belated) christmas and happy new year! i hope you got to enjoy the holidays too! here's your request! ❤️ feedback is always welcome and encouraged! i didn't do a explicit lovers situation, i left it open (bc lowkey im thinking of a pt 2) but i hope you can enjoy it nonetheless!

First, you were transported to that godforsaken world.

Then, you were made to play to get days to live.

And after that, you landed on a game of hearts where a rat tried to sell you out to save himself.

And a few days later, a bunch of zeppelins with face cards started to fly around and to avoid being shot until you turned to puree, you had to go on a game inside a prison complex to participate in yet another hearts game with the same rat that tried to use you to survive.

Just great.

You thought you'd just avoid him at first. He must be so used to fucking people over he doesn't even remember me, it's what you thought at first, but then his eyes met yours and they shone with amusement. He remembered you and didn't even look remotely embarrassed or guilty, in fact, he looked quite smug. It made your blood boil.

You decided to make your way over after you saw Chishiya leaning to murmur something in another player's ear. After sizing the boy in the overalls that looked absolutely terrified, you came to the conclusion that there was no better way to end Chishiya than to prevent him to be able to manipulate people.

You placed yourself on the other side of the boy, leaning on the wall opposite to Chishiya. "Hey", you spoke lowly. "Don't listen to him. He lies", you said. Chishiya raised his eyebrows, surprised. You remembered him after all.

"Huh?", the boy looked frantically back and forth as you and Chishiya as you stared each other down. You, boiling in fury and him smug as always.

"Ah, don't be too quick to take her word for it. It's your word against mine, after all. The game barely even started and here you are, already trying to get ahead. By what we know, you may be the Jack after all", he said, and the boy took an wobbly step to stand next to him.

"As if I'm the Jack. For all purposes, it could be you too. Aren't you used to leading people astray to their deaths?", you said, and Chishiya's face fell a bit, making you feel triumphant. He tried to sold you and accused you of being the Jack? The audacity.

He was about to open his mouth when another thing caught both of yours attention. A girl, dressed cutely, seemingly collecting players.

She came to your direction, standing in front of the three of you. "Do you want to play with us?", she said. Her fake smile grinded your gears even more, but you did your best to reciprocate. "But of course!"

"I'll play with you too", said Chishiya.

"Can't get rid of you, can I?", you grit out as you followed the group downstairs.

"We shall see", he said in a flat tone.

The game was nearing the end.

Your only ally, a woman in a red cardigan was led astray by the girl with the fake smile and cutesy dress, that in turn was betrayed by her own group. And now the group was getting smaller and smaller. There was Banda and a skittish boy with a fringe, and a couple. And you and Chishiya.

You eyed them all suspiciously. The game wasn't over, which meant the Jack was still among you. While you were looking around, trying to pretend you weren't straining your ears to listen to their conversation, Chishiya approached you.

"Do you know what they were doing before the game started?", he said, amused. You shook your head, not wanting to give him the time of day, but still listening with attention.

"Having sex. Inside one of the cells. He has full control over her", he said nonchalantly. "They'll do anything for each other. And the one right there, Banda. A serial killer, I saw on the news. Must've been a relief for him, being sent here...", he talked to you like someone talked about the weather, like you weren't in a death trap of a game.

"What do you want? For me to believe you? As if that's possible", you stood up, talking to him as quietly as possible. After all, it was best if the others thought you had an ally still. Even though you'd rather eat glass than to trust him with your life. "What? Want me to be like her?", you subtly nodded in the direction of the woman, that was absolutely entranced and attentive to everything the man was saying as if it was gospel. But it was probably a bunch of bullshit. "To follow you around until I'm useful to be bait?", earlier you were fuming but now you were just tired. Tired of dealing with all of this, and tired of seeing his face. Before, you wanted to beat him to a pulp for doing what he did. Now, you just wanted a peaceful and hidden place with food and maybe some rain for you to shower with.

"You're still mad at me for that?", he said. The game consisted of basically convincing people not to kill you. Since it was your first game and you got there desperate, and Chishiya was the first person you saw, you had delayed to him your entire story. That you worked with children, that you loved what you did. That you couldn't wait to see them again. And then he took it and used it as his own. If it was only between the two of you, you'd have died that day.

"Of course I am! I could've died", you said.

"And on any other game after that. It's not even about me anymore, is it?", he said as you stormed off to get water.

"It's not even about me anymore, is it?"

The fact was that no, it wasn't. He played by the rules, and did what he was supposed to do at a hearts game. And if what he was supposed to do was be a huge traitor, well, that's on the game masters' account as well.

You were there grabbing a bottle of water behind one of the shelves when Chishiya tried to approach the woman. She, of course, bewitched by her affair, didn't even respond. Chishiya was good at seeming calm, but you could see that if he was outwardly asking for help then he sure was desperate.

He was right. It wasn't about him at all.

You had to kill people too. Had to trick people too. And for what? You had no one but your students. Would you be able to look them in the eye knowing you killed innocent people to get back? Chishiya tricked the person you were before you got into the games. You for sure weren't that person anymore.

You made your way around the shelf to approach him, him turning around with a smile on his lips but you could see that his friendly facade faltered when he looked at you. He didn't expect anything from you and that strangely hurt. For a moment, as you and Chishiya contemplated each other, it was like looking at a mirror. Alone, untrustworthy. You took a deep breath.

"You were right, Chishiya", his eyebrows rose yet again. You remembered his name. "It wasn't about you", you slowly approached him.

"Turn around", you said, softly. For the first time since you were a desperate mess in a hearts game, you weren't glaring daggers at him. You seemed tired, and oddly at peace. He appreciated the change.

"Thinking about lying to me?", he said, feigning amusement.

"Thought", you corrected him. "But not anymore. Turn", you said again and he eyed you for a second before turning around in his heels. He could feel you stare at him, and he jumped slightly when he felt your fingers on the back of his neck, brushing his hair aside to look at his symbol.

"Diamonds", you breathed and he turned around.

You sat down on the table directly next to you, drinking your water.

"What, you don't want me to do it to you?", he said, plopping himself next to you.

"Are you thinking about lying to me?", you gave him a weak chuckle and he reciprocated with a small smile of his own.

"Thought. But not anymore. Turn", he said, the smile still there. You turned your torso away from him and he leaned over to look at it. You could feel his breathing on your neck and it gave you goosebumps.

"Hearts", he said. You laughed.

"I can't believe it", you said, looking at him. "Ironic, huh?", you raised your eyebrow. You felt contempt but that underlying bitterness showed through. Not at Chishiya anymore but at all of this, at yourself and he could definitely notice this shift.

"I work with children. I love what I do", he said after a beat of silence. You looked at him, perplexed. He really did all of this to toy with you? That's what you get for trying to help.

"You're an asshole", you say through clenched teeth, going to stand up when you felt his hand around your wrist. He wasn't squeezing you, you could shake him off by any means. But the overwhelming warmth of his palms and his gaze where all consuming, keeping you where you stood. He stood up, once again in front of you. "I'm not a teacher", he said.

You scoffed. "Of course you're not-", you started but he cut you off once more.

"I'm a pediatric heart surgeon. I was in the middle of my residency when I got here", he said. "What I said... Wasn't necessarily true. I don't love those kids like they're my own, because they're not. And I can wait to see them again. In fact, when I tell one to go home I hope I don't ever see them again. I hate dealing with people and the never ending questions and the sobbing parents. But it wasn't a lie either", he said.

"I... I didn't know...", you felt your face grow hot. He was a surgeon for kids. You never once wondered what he did before all this, but you assumed it was something shameful, since he decided to basically copy and paste your life story. You never once stopped to consider that maybe he did just have a similar life to you, after all. You felt sick all of a sudden.

"Don't apologize, there was no way of you knowing", he said. "I did what I did because you had something I didn't. You... Had that fire, that... Love. You wanted to see them again so bad. I didn't have that. I had to pretend", he said. He seemed... soft. Genuine. Your heart ached.

"I don't have that anymore", you said softly, avoiding his gaze. Chishiya felt needle pricks all over his body.

"I think you do", you looked up. "You wouldn't have come so far to give up", he said.

"I...", he started, but looked up at the sound of your voice.

"You...", you both talked at the same time. But that would have to wait because soon enough it was time to go inside the cells once more.

The game was over. While two of the remaining four tried to extract information from the Jack, you grabbed as much as you could carry and was making your way to the exit.

"What now?", you heard behind you.

"I don't know, Chishiya. What now?", you said.

"I'm looking for... my friends", you were surprised. He always struck you as a loner type. You did get him all wrong. "You could come. We can help each other leave this place", he said. "You're smart enough. A good player".

"Are you saying we're friends?", you asked, one eyebrow raised. Chishiya froze. He didn't think it'd escalate this quickly. Friends? You were similar. But he looked at you in a different way than he did other people. As his eyes darted around, you made your way towards him. "Something different?", you whispered like you were telling him a secret. You didn't want to say "more". Not yet, at least.

"Different, yes", he said, extremely relieved at your choice of words.

"One condition", you said and he nodded.

"You tell me about you. About your job. I'd love to visit when this all ends", he gave you a wobbly relieved smile.

"And you too. Tell me about your students", he said, walking alongside you as you exited the prison complex.

#alice in borderland fic #aib x reader #alice in borderland imagine #chishiya x reader #shuntaro chishiya x reader #alice in borderland x reader

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batsplat · 4 months ago

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speaking of smallville now that was certainly a show. how many seasons did you manage and when is it best to stop? I am currently at s2 and already I would kill every other character for lex, wyd it’s only gonna get worse 😭

lmaooo okay so I got to. six. which actually kinda kills me because I swear I poured my heart and my soul into that stupid show, it drove me insane it left me a lesser person and I BARELY GOT HALFWAY

my basic analysis of the default journey with that show that I'm going to pretend is universal is like. it hooks you with something compelling in s1 and you still have enough naive faith to give it benefit of doubt that the writers actually know what they're doing, because you just wanted to have a bit of fun but, hey, these characters are actually more interesting than you expected!! then in s2 you're starting to get doubts but you're already kinda too deep. then s3 breaks your sanity and makes you scream and at this point you just see how far this shit goes. then s4 is.... mid..... but is also in a way the last remotely palpable season? and then at some point in s5 you're just like. wow I don't even enjoy the hate watching any more. and s6 is. yeah. eventually there was one storyline that is so insanely uncomfortable that it's just. enough. enough!

[mild spoilers to follow]

if s2 drives you insane on lex grounds then!! boy!! s3!! the thing about s3 from lex's pov is that. okay it's extremely angsty and does increasingly radicalise you... I have to say I started this show in a very innocent jokey 'oh ho ho I heard they have some good superman/lex luthor queerbait in that noughties show!!' and was ready to be a lex fan like. as a bit. and y'know my readiness to adopt morally dubious characters is pretty high anyway. but the first few seasons made me go?? okay but he genuinely isn't even the villain?? like I'm not even saying this for the bit, he LITERALLY is not the bad guy in this story?? guys??? and then by the end of season 3 I had been completely radicalised to the 'Actually Lex Luthor Should Turn Evil And Kill All Of You People And I Will Cheer Him On' stance. but what really, really, really kills me is that after all that, they still manage to bungle his transition to evil. like, they ignore all the very obvious reasons for why lex would turn evil after all that, and just come up with completely new ones? that have fuck all to do with this character you've been writing up to that point?

and the worst bit. the WORST bit. is that after all that, he literally does not even have fun being evil. like, you know that season one episode where he's being mind controlled and does his gay little swagger. this scene, yeah:

youtube

first of all, again, they ended up erasing lex's canonical motivation for turning evil, which is being so queer-coded he might as well be wearing a sign with slurs around his neck while he's stuck in a small town in fucking kansas. like "you think I don't see the way your parents look at me? the way half the town looks at me?" okay, great, love how this entire arc is eventually concluded by having the show say the entire town including clark's small-minded parents were 100% right to be suspicious of him, that there was something fundamentally defect with him basically from birth and he was always going to turn out to be evil. I feel like you definitely thought through the implications of what you wrote here!

but never mind all that, my actual point is that lex is having fun here!! this is one of several episodes where they're 'foreshadowing' lex turning evil by 'having a paranormal reason to make lex evil for a few minutes' (some subtle writing, this), and he's generally having a lot of fun with it!! he's leaning into the camp of it all!! he's freed from all his nasty and completely unnecessary inhibitions like 'not killing everyone in smallville' which. good. and he's just having a great time. and then he becomes a villain and he's literally just miserable all the time!! it sucks!! like omg if you're going to butcher his writing and ruin the character then at LEAST let him have some fucking fun?? at least let him experience joy at his own depravity or whatever? like he doesn't even get to do any fun villain monologues at clark, he's literally just sad clark isn't his friend any more while clark is giving him the homophobic dog slur. and then also about twice a season something paranormal happens to clark and he physically assaults lex to the point where he like, almost kills him, and then after that everyone pretends it didn't happen and clark never apologises and continues to burst into his room demanding answers. like omg?? lex, they hate you anyway, can you please just attempt to shoot clark?? also, obviously the turn to villainy should have been in large part motivated by lex finding out clark's secret and going?? the fuck is wrong with you for not just SAYING this?? (plus finding out everything clark did to lex in season three to keep his secret like it's genuinely so fucked up #lmao) but. I hate to break bad news to you about where we're at with the whole 'does lex know clark's secret yet' situation at the point where I gave up. genuinely what is the point of all this building and perfectly interesting character work if you're NEVER gonna deliver

but quite possibly an even worse sin of the later seasons that genuinely broke my brain was the treatment of lex's father. like, not to give the game away too much here, but the show's philosophical stance on rotten apples ends up being.... well. it's interesting which characters this show feels is worthy of redemption!! also interesting when they retcon several seasons of writing for the show that already very much set up why a character would actually perfectly legitimately go insane and instead settle for 'well his father sure did know there was always something wrong with him'!! watching some season 3 and season 5 episodes back to back would leave your face scarred from the amount of whiplash in the writing. the whole thing's kinda incompetent and dumb but is also like?? actively a little bit evil when you really think about the implications of what they're writing here

anyway. it's a brave stance on superman to go 'okay but what is being a superhero really about if not a whole whole lot of gaslighting'. and I do love the clark stalking room!! but the problem is, they could've played the clark/lex dynamic in a kinda tragic 'wow clark really has been so blinded by his parents that he's gonna end up destroying his relationship to lex because he just can't be honest with him and lex really needed one person in his corner who actually trusted him but clark wasn't the right person to provide that' way. they could've played it in a sort of fun 'yeah this is kinda fucked up and weird and toxic how they simply cannot stop doing dubious shit to each other' way where you just kinda roll with how terrible the whole thing is. but they don't go for either of those!! they're so stuck with treating clark's parents as the moral centre of the universe, with their "marriage is SACRED, clark" schtick and all that (yeah, there's an episode where clark gets lectured about the importance of the bond of marriage, this is a thing that happens) that they're blatantly unaware of what story they're telling but ALSO just refuse to lean into the batshit insane elements and just have!! fun!! and it's one of those things where you really do feel like an idiot for even thinking about this stupid fucking show so!! much!! but I swear, I swear they had a dynamic that hit like crazy in season one... also some of the fic out there for them is CRAZY like it kinda does make it all worth it but still!! still!! this shit infuriates me!!

anyway, here are some bonkers plot bits I remember happening in this show for you to enjoy if you continue in this endeavour:

the lex luthor slut shaming episode

clark kent slut shaming lex luthor, which is conceptually funny anyway but becomes funnier if you just read it as clark being unable to figure out he is actually just subliminally attracted to his friend. like, okay, clark being disappointed at lex for sleeping with thirteen different women, I see you

like. multiple lesbian lana moments. she's constantly getting herself in lesbian situations. and I get this is some kinda weird fanservice-y shit from the showrunners but, sue me, I thought lesbian vampire lana was cute

which is a thing that happens

they get spike from btvs to tell clark vampires aren't real, which is the one funny thing they wrote in about a season

the native american stuff is always deeply uncomfortable but it becomes even weirder when they invent some native american prophecy *deep sigh* to explain how lex was always evil

clark steals a car from lex several episodes after committing like, one of the most obscene acts of betrayal it is possible to commit against a friend (lex is unaware of this and possibly never finds out? I think the writers maybe forgot about this.) and lex is just like. it's fine <3 I know friends sometimes have to do crazy shit for other friends!! you're my friend, right?? and clark goes... yeah. sure

I vaguely remember lex buying stuff the american football high school team at some point and showing up to the lockers to give a speech and it's just?? this is right after the friendship break up and it's basically lex talking right at clark and he's talking about the importance of fresh starts and it is so fucking funny

the one episode where lana is in paris. they had built up to this for ages as like a whole thing where lana finally frees herself from that miserable town and all the people in it (don't ask how the 'lana knowing clark's secret' situation develops. it doesn't) and then she's there for. one episode

martha kent tells clark how they can't harbour illegal immigrants at one stage?? she eventually changes her mind I think but what even was that all about

the papa kent goes into politics arc. shoot me

lex becomes like. possessed by zod. which somehow manages to make everyone involved more dull

silver kryptonite makes clark paranoid, which ends up being pretty funny because he genuinely talks the exact same way

lex thinks clark can throw him across the room because he's been hypnotised

lex starts capturing various clark super powered friends and delivers these gay villain monologues to them (like genuinely, in one of them he's got shirtless aquaman strapped to a gurney and he's like, leaning over him, teasing him with a glass of water) and they're some of the best bits of the show

clark discovers the clark stalking room, which I will say was very funny

chloe basically saying lex always sends clark these massive gifts as a way of keeping his affections which?? clearly true but I thought we were keeping that the subtext

clark gatecrashes lex's wedding high on red kryptonite

one of lex's old bullies gets killed by like, a statue falling from the top of the building they're standing next to and stabbing the guy and then some of the blood splashes on lex and he's just like ?? bleh. fantastic scene

and THEN there's several scenes with his father where lex is like 'well that sure was a nice shirt :(' and lex's father is berating him for his lack of humanity. or something

there's an episode where lex is split into good lex and evil lex and it's genuinely the only worthwhile thing the show did that season. like the writing is still kinda incoherent but, crucially. it sure is fun

the spirit of lex's mum tells him she thinks he sucks

worst show in existence. I'll never forget it

#watching smallville is very much the riding a honda of tv show experiences #*joan mir voice* nobody leaves better than they came in...#//#batsplat responds #smallville #real talk I think it might be worth jumping ship after season 3 and watching like. two more specific lex-centric episodes #season 3 is also kinda terrible but the lex angst hits so so good. after that you just start tearing your hair out #cheers anon i haven't gotten proper mad about that show for several months #one thing about me. i always have a rant about smallville in my system

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amnesiaskulls · 1 month ago

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hehe

tell me about your favorite part of your rewrite:)

ouwggh uhhhh

Ok so you never specified if it had to be angst or not and i live for angst so 😁😁😁

basically my fav angsty part is just all of garrance seasons 4.5-6. Things are finally starting to go normal again and they can finally just be together ( in mine, they didnt get together until season 3 because gar was gone s2 and he was also after aph in s1 (kinda) so they didnt get together until 3 when things died down and they talked to each other), because with s4 garroth was away getting traumatized and laurance was doing whatever with the house to himself (he made a lot of jokes about finally getting some peace and quiet, funny how that works) so during aphs year they mostly just got to be garroth and laurance and do what they could to help aph and for each other.

then garroth and zane tell laurance about the starlight plans, and he understands why he isnt going with, because he wasnt with the lodge gang when aaron got into the “accident” (he “gets hit by a car” or something in mine! It makes a lot more sense!) and he knows that still some of the block will still stay behind, like travis, dante, katelyn, and kawaii-chan. Then a couple days after they all leave on a “camping trip” (the cover up), travis tells laurance and dante that him and katelyn are going on vacation to starlight (no one told them because none of their housemates were involved, laurance got to know so that he would know they would be gone for a while) and laurance just assumes they were apart of the original party and thinks nothing of it, and all of the people left on the block just thing kc went with on the “camping trip”

they leave, leaving dante and laurance on the block by themselves (and the sk’s, but laurance is not about to go over there to just hang out) so they hang out with each other for a while, laurance stays in contact with garroth and they call every night before laurance goes to bed (timezones), and text a lot during the day about updates and just whatever, garroth texts him one day that for some reason travis and katelyn were there and laurance is just like “oh i thought you knew about that�� and garroth is dumbfounded

then one day, right before they were set to move to starlight wonderland, garroth had been texting him about being ecstatic for a big dinner and was in the middle of texting him when he just stopped responding. Laurance thought nothing of it, they probably just got to the place and needed to be seated or were eating, and went about his day. Then later, when he was about to go to bed, he decided to call garroth, part of the routine that they had established was to call before laurance went to bed. He calls but no response, thinks “well thats weird, usually he picks up immediately” and tries again, still to no avail.

he’s a bit worried but just assumes that he was tired after the party and took a nap. Then a couple minutes later, he gets a call from garroth. he answers and listens for a second to let garroth speak first, but the voice on the other end isnt garroth, it’s zianna, and she sounds like she just got finished crying. She asks “who is this?” (Garroth did not in fact put laurance in his phone as laurance, but something else stupid like orphan idk) and laurance responds with his name and asks her whats wrong and is garroth ok? She just starts to apologize to him saying that shes sorry for crying and sorry for not telling him sooner, while laurance is gripping the covers of his bed waiting for her to actually tell him what happened.

she tells him that garroth got into a major accident and has a very slim chance of living, all while starting to cry again. Laurance is in shock for a sec and just asks her if shes kidding even though she very obviously isnt. He goes quiet for a moment while his brain goes a million miles an hour trying to comprehend what shes saying. He starts to tear up and asks if he can talk to garroth, but zianna tells him that he’s resting. She tells him sorry and that she has to go, and that she’ll keep him updated, and hangs up. Hes left crying in his bed, trying to piece everything together with the very vague info zianna gave him.

he cant stand being alone in that moment, so he goes to dantes house for comfort and to tell him what happened, even though its about 11:30 atp, and dante goes to bed around 10. He rings the doorbell and after a bit, a very sleepy dante answers the door to face a very disheveled laurance, who has been crying for the past 20 minutes unable to calm down. Dante doesnt ask and just lets him in and gives him a big hug (they are bros). After sitting him on the couch with a cup of milk and some blankets and tissues he asks what happened, and laurance tells him everything he knows.

dante is crushed, and they sit and cry and hug until they both fall asleep. Laurance somehow still wakes up earlier then dante o’ clock and makes the both of them some shitty toast with butter (not peanut butter, dantes allergic) and turns on something to watch while he wakes up dante. They eat in comfy silence and just have a chill and cry sort of a day.

ok yea thats all i have for you right now and i didnr even get to season 6 😁😁😁

tune in next time for another AGHUUUGGHH

#garrance #mystreet #garroth x laurance #mystreet rewrite

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dnpanimationstudioclone · 5 months ago

Text

Charlie & Seviathan🍎💔🐙 Theory Future

While scrolling on tumblr found this Lil pic in Lucifer room. Here’s a link CHARLIE AND SEV! HE AND HELSA MIGHT BE COMING! And I got SOME VERY ANGSTY IDEAS!

I know a lot of people theorize Sev was a bad boyfriend or that his sister did something but what if…it was CHARLIE who screwed up! Perhaps Sev would be like Verosika and Charlie Blitzo! Let me set the scene:

What if Charlie initially got with Sev…to get closer with his parents(Leviathan to see if he knew how to find Lilith, who seems to be or have been close with Lucifer, had some pics with him)

I can imagine at some point she tried to find or atleast try to contact her mom after the divorce. And when she came to realize she probably wasn't in Hell, maybe she was in the mortal realm. Afterall mortal had all kinds of tales about her like in Jewish folklore.

At first she had tried with her uncle Ozzie and the succubus and Inccubi, her mom's people only to get nothing. Perhaps believing they're forced to keep their tounges tied because of their closer connection to her. I know the show isn’t 100% tied to the biblical lore and I’m not the biggest expert but I remeber there was something about Asmodeus and Lilith being married. Given their ties I imagine they def have a connection in the hellaverse.

as Helluva Boss has foreshadowed in the show and S2 trailer, Envy sinners seem to be "possessor types" can come into the human world in a way, perhaps through other peoples bodies.

Maybe she hoped if she wasn’t in Hell, she’d be up in the mortal realm like those religion stories talked about.

At first she just got closer, friendly to Sev and Helsa in order to get closer to their dad who she could get something out of better.

But one thing leads to another and Sev asks her out. Not wanting to lose her best shot, she dates him, despite not really liking him that way(she convinces herself to).

Overtime Charlie comes to butt heads with Sev and Helsa. I imagine they Def have their issues. Sev has been described as "not evil but moreover ignorant" and from what's been implied with Helsa, Def seems like a Regina goerge type mean girl. I can see Sev be a bit obnoxious, insensitive, kinda frat boy (not as bad as Adam, though I could see his behavior remind her a bit of Sev) but he wasn't a bad guy...like Charlie he genuinely had sweet intentions, just went about them the wrong way and didn’t always consider things properly too...

At one point they have a fight and Charlie finally snaps and...accidentally slips put what she really came for. Sev was HEARTBROKEN. He wasn’t perfect but…legitimately liked Charlie and thought she liked him too, flaws and all💔

And for everything Helsa loves her brother. While she could be mean, she was like that with everyone, it was never a really personal or deep thing. But with Charlie, it Def became PERSONAL! Perhaps…even she thought of Charlie as a genuine friend among the lackeys and yes man posse around her, only to realize she was just using her too.💔

Charlie didn’t mean to hurt them and it’s understandable she’d want to find her mom, but at the same time was so focused on finding her…she didn’t consider the damage she’d cause on that path to Lilith, loosing so much more in the process💔

In the end, Leviathan told Charlie Lilith Def wasn't anywhere he atleast saw her and everything else became bitter history...but hey. The past has a way to crawl back. They say revenge is a dish best served cold.

Imagine if Sev and Helsa do come into the future(perhaps thanks to the Vees like the social media Velvette, Katire Killjoy or someone else out to hurt the hotel), and exposed Charlie's darker moments to the gang and especially to Vaggie, trying to convince them that just like back then, she’s using them in order to get to her. Charlie once said in ep 1 to Vaggie how the sinners were her mom’s people too and at the end of her story, it showed she hoped she’d be making her proud. She clearly believes mom had care for the sinners and would most likely be proud if she found some way to help them….maybe even make her come back.

Scenario:

Seviathan-Think about it! Think about all the times she’s caused trouble because she didn’t consider the consequences or how it’d affect anyone! I know you know Vaggie, you’re practically running the hotel for her! spider boy knows, you can also ask his crazy boss and when she somehow took your(Vaggie) advice of “aggressive kindness” as just walking into his workplace and disrupting the set, and even accidentally walked into setting a FIRE pitching script ideas), snake boy knows.

Charlie-Don’t you dar-

I’ll give her some credit, she tricked him into thinking she cared and it made him redeem and be saved…she just had to have people die to keep her hotel from being wrecked, only to just NEED TO RENOVATE THE DUMP ANYWAY! Pity the rest of the cannibals who laid their lives for that day weren’t as lucky as him!

Maybe the problem isn’t that you just go about your “best intentions” in the wrong way. Perhaps they aren’t what’s best for them. Look at your new Angel friend(Emily) she managed to do what you struggle so hard to be. ACTUALLY GOOD! She didn’t even do anything hard, that only a divine heavenly entity could do…she just knows to treat people like people. Not like characters in your stupid little music show.

Helsa-We def ain’t saints ourselves but atleast we’re straight up about being crooked. Now you all know. What you do is up to you but don’t say we didn’t warn ya. They leave

Vaggie-Charlie?

Charlie-…

End

I also hope this could be a way to address the critique people have about Charlie

think it’d be good to show and explore that even Charlie can be selfish and begin to reflect on herself on if she’s doing it for the right reasons. Husk even once said that Charlie helps others out with their issues, partially so she doesn’t have to deal with her own. She might be at a point where she even questions if she’s a good person or just convinced herself and everyone she is….like how she tried to convince herself she liked Sev.

Who knows this could even lead to huge changes with her relationship with Vaggie & the gang and how they view her…could even lead to…other things in the future. Good and bad.

What do u think? How do u imagine Charlie and Sevs relationship could’ve been like? I’d love to know💖

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