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cowboymcflurry · 3 months ago

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You Found Me | Jim Hopper x Reader

Summary: You left Hawkins for good, making Jim Hopper, the guy you have had a crush on for years, worry about you word count: 1,2k includes: very vague mention of ST storyline, angsty kissing, set somewhere in season 2 I guess

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It had been a couple of weeks since you had went missing, even though missing might be the wrong word. You left. You didn’t have a future in Hawkins and after everything that’s happened, after everything you had been involved in, you thought it might be a good decision to pack your bags and leave for good. You hadn’t told anyone. Especially not Hopper, who had been the closest thing to a friend you’d had. Over the years you had grown a severe crush on him that had slowly eaten you up from inside. You knew that you weren’t his type. He was known to hook up with the most beautiful women Hawkins had to offer and here you were, some weirdo from out of town who was way too interested in true crime podcasts, ghost stories and UFO sightings. You had just started working as Gary’s assistant at the local morgue, when Chief Hopper had come in one day. You distinctly remember the fluttery feeling in your stomach when he had first given you one of his rare smiles or when he had brought you a pizza because you’d had to work late.

One night a few months ago you had finally summoned all of your courage to ask him out on a date or at least express in some way that you were into him. But when he came into the morgue, holding two cups of coffee, and talking to you like to an old buddy of his, you somehow couldn’t go through with it. So you just took the coffee, smiled, and listened to him talk about his day. Then all of this weird stuff happened. Will Byers. Hawkins National Laboratory. Hopper taking in El. Suddenly you’d felt like drowning. Like everything was a little bit too much, like you didn’t belong - even though you had never felt like you’d belonged there in the first place.

So you left. You quit your job at the morgue and with the money you had saved over the years you’d decided to go on a little road trip. Just you and some mix tapes.

It was week five in and you’d just gone up your room at another shady motel. You were just about to eat your pizza - your favorite kind that Hopper used to get you back then - when someone banged at the door.

“Hey, are you there?” a male voice yelled and it sounded strangely familiar. Could it be that - no, no that was absolutely impossible. Right?

“I know you’re there, I can smell that stupid pizza through the door!”

You gulped. Slowly you stood up, trying to catch a glimpse through the curtains, but it was pitch black outside.

“Come on!” he yelled, followed by another bang, though this time sounding more frustrated.

Reluctantly you unlocked the door, frantically thinking about how he possibly could’ve found you.

When your eyes met the stunning blue of his it felt as if your heart skipped a beat. The way he looked at you, worried, caring but also angry made your chest feel as if it were about to explode from guilt.

“Where the fuck have you been?” he hissed, shoving himself past you, looking around the room as if you were hiding something.

“How did you know where you am?”

“None of your business.”

You raised your eyebrows in disbelief. “Excuse me?”

“Why are you here?” he asked, putting his hands on his hips.

“Why are YOU here?” you asked in return, mimicking his posture.

“Gary said you quit.”

“Correct.”

“Why?”

“Just because Jim! I just wanted to get some fresh air.”

“There’s plenty of fresh air in Hawkins.”

“Well, I wanted to get some fresh air outside of Hawkins.”

What followed was an uncomfortable silence, in which he gave you a look that could only be described as reproachful. After a while he looked away and cleared his throat.

“Where you ever planning on coming back?” he asked in a coarse but soft voice. You looked away. No, I wasn’t because there’s been too much fucked up shit going on and besides I’m madly in love with you, you scruffy idiot.

“Eventually, yeah.” you lied. He scoffed.

“You know what?” He asked, turning to look at you.

“What?”

“The day you left I actually wanted to ask you out to see that stupid movie you’ve been talking about the whole time.”

“Nightmare On Elm Street?” you asked, not completely processing what he’d just said.

“Yeah, that one.”

“Why?” you asked, perplexed.

“What do you mean why? Because I - Because…” He swallowed. Looking away, he ran his fingers through his hair.

How had he been able to find you? He must’ve been on the road for ages only to ‘save’ you - not knowing you hadn’t needed saving. Still the sight of him, the sight of his stubble, the sight of the faint melancholy in his eyes gave your stomach a little shake, as if you were on a roller coaster. You noticed his eyes resting on you, his expression suddenly soft and wounded. Cautiously you closed the distance between the two of you, immediately feeling the heat his body radiated and smelling the faint remains of his musky eau de cologne.

“Jim, I-” you began to say, but the sentence trailed of somewhere, when your gaze met his eyes again.

“What?” His coarse voice all soft.

“I’m sorry.” you whispered, trying to look away.

Slowly his hand reached for your face, his thumb softly stroking the skin of your cheek. You felt your throat clogging up and your eyes getting moist, desperately trying not to give in. Trying not to let him see this side of you. This was not how it was supposed to be. But here he was. Exhausted and frustrated and maybe in need of a shower. And when your gaze fell upon the slight curve of his lips you couldn’t help but long for his touch. For the warmth his body exceeded. For the feel of his skin on yours. But despite what he’d said less than a minute ago, it still felt hopeless, like a dead-end.

“I thought you were gone for good.” he said, his voice breaking, his hand still on your cheek. His eyes as blue as the ocean’s, made you think of a storm at sea; beautiful and dangerous at the same time. You wouldn’t mind drowning in them. You have drowned in them. Suddenly his glance wandered. From the tip of your nose down to your philtrum only to finally land on your lips. You felt his breath, smelling faintly of cigarettes and whiskey, hot on your skin as he exhaled. Then he closed the distance between the two of you even further. His lips being less than an inch away from yours. He searched for your eyes again, his other hand reaching up to the other half of your face. And when you looked into his eyes, into the storm, the crashing waves of the sea, and how he seemingly tried to study yours in return, as if he was desperately trying to find something, you closed your eyes and placed your lips on his.

It felt as if the world had stopped turning. There was no sound, no light, no feeling other than his rough stubble brush against your skin, the smooth skin of his lips on yours. The alternating pull and release, first tender, then more longing, until it became urgent. You pulled at his collar, your head still in his hands, as you kissed and kissed and kissed...

#jim hopper x reader #jim hopper x you #jim hopper x y/n #jim hopper fanfic #stranger things fanfiction

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smokeybrandreviews · 9 months ago

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Festival Season

I am a massive fan of MegaTen games. I love everything about them; the battle systems, characters, and overall world. I fell in love with the summoning and fusion systems of these games almost immediately and longed for other franchises to do something similar. It was basically Digimon Fusion before Digimon was a thing. Who wouldn’t want to Lego two Pokemon into a goddamn MewTwo? The missus introduced me to this brave new world with the purchase of Digital Devil Saga so long ago. It was one of the first gifts I ever got her. Watching her play that sh*t really awakened something within me. It was like watching my kid brother playing Final Fantasy IX for the first time but with, you know, violent monstrosities. Way back then, during the golden age of the JRPG, on the PS2, we made it a point to play all of the obscure titles. Nippon Ichi and Atlus were our bread and butter. We had copies of Stella Deus, every DIsgaea available, and even Soul Nomad. No one talks about Soul Nomad. One day, she came home with Persona 3. On that list was Persona 3 vanilla. Bro, after we booted it up and those first few notes of Burn My Dread popped, I was hooked. I must have put three hundred hours into that game. I conquered everything I could in that game, romanced every option, and completed one hundred percent of that sh*t. I unlocked every Persona on just two runs and readily did it again when FES released. The Answer was kind if disappointing but I didn’t mind running through the enhanced world of P3 once again. And then I did it one more time when P3P dropped, though, admittedly, Portable is my least favorite of the lot. Persona 3 opened my eyes to a world of RPGs beyond just your Final Fantasys and Dragon Warriors. Because I enjoyed this one game so much, I was open to trying out others. I wouldn’t have touched Magna Carta if not for Persona. I would have missed out on Rogue Galaxy. Wouldn’t have given Shining Force EXA a second thought. If I had never played Persona 3, I would have never played 4 or 5, and that sh*t seems so bewildering to me because those games are some of my all-time favorites. In fact, for a long while, Persona 5 was my favorite of these games. I wrote a whole thing about, about how, while I loved 3, 5 was a close second. It had legitimately closed that gap after Royal dropped but then Persona 3 Reload was announced. Guess who pulled ahead once again.

I got Reload day one and immediately dove into to. It felt familiar, yet, new. It definitely got all the bells and whistles that made Persona 5 so enjoyable but was still definitely Persona 3. I got my copy for the PS4 so, while the presentation is loads better than the original, and it shows, it’s comparable to Persona 5. Having that “side-by-side” experience just solidifies that P3 IS my favorite Persona title and one of my all-time favorite games, period. I was a little bummed Burn My Dread wasn’t the opening song but Full Moon Full ain’t too shabby on its own. More than that, the quality of life changes are amazing. It’s the little things like the Online Saves or the fact you don't get fatigued in Tartarus anymore. I love how the original character designs got a remix, bringing them closer in line with that Persona 5 aesthetic, and boy do they steal from that P5 aesthetic let me tell you! The thing is, though, it feels full circle to me. I remember, way back when I was playing P5 (shout out to Tae Takemi, best girl in the entire game), that P5 feels like the spiritual successor to P3 in every way P4 is not. Don’t get me wrong, P4 is a classic, but it feels out of place in the trio, almost disconnected. Also, I remember hating Teddy. It’s like, did P3 influence P5, only to have that sh*t bleed back into Reload? I don’t know, and I don’t really care. I get to play Persona 3, on my PS4, with the look of Persona 5. I cannot stress how dope that is. Also, Satanael is DLC. You KNOW I bought due and have been decimating the early game! Thanatos is my second favorite Persona, always, Alice is the first (especially after I customize her), but Ren’s ultimate Persona is a strong third. Like, laughably so. There’s just something about summoning a Demon God that feels so…powerful. Also, you shoot God in the face. How can you not love that?

I’m ten hours into Reload and it is everything I ever dreamed a full-on Persona 3 remake should be. This isn’t that bait and switch FFVII pulled with Remake. No, for all intents and purposes, this IS Persona 3 but with modern game play and graphics. It’s like I’m popping ion the game for the very first time, damn near twenty years later. The Protagonist is as stoic as ever and the city of Tatsumi Port Island is alive with a vibrancy only the power of PS4 could bring. Building this game on the Unreal engine was a stroke of genius because the models are crisp, detailed, and fluid. There are so many little particle effects that make everything pop. The biggest upgrade is the UI. The thing is, I’m old as f*ck. I’ve been gaming since the old NES days. I’ve seen the evolution of video game and, for me, they peaked way back in the PS3 era. When P3 originally came out, I had no problem with how the title was presented. It got a little flashier with P3P and Persona 4 added their own flair, but Persona 5 really went in on the showmanship. P3R gets a bit of that and it goes a very long way to captivating the player. I thought modern hardware would affect the charm of these OG designs, but it doesn’t. It actually enhances them considerably. It’s subtle, but the bodies are longer, the eyes are smaller, and the overall proportions feel more realistic. I kind of love it. I also love the redesigns, so far. I mean, Mitsuru is gorgeous and I adore the new-ish Elizabeth model, but I’m holding judgment until the very end when I get to see Nyx again. And definitely get my ass throttled by her. Now, admittedly, not all that shimmers is gold. The fact that the Answer, the additional part of FES, isn’t included in what is a very obvious FES remake, kind of bones. I hear that it will be DLC down the line and that sucks. I like Metis. Her design was dope. I’m also not that huge a fan of Thanatos’ first reveal being made with in-game models. The visceral nature of that genesis feels lost when not in animation. It’s good in its own way but, goddamn, did that sh*t hit different way back when. These are, of course, superficial gripes because I am having the time of my life with this game! And it’s only the first play through. That New Game is about to slap crazy hard! I cannot wait to run it back with my heavy hitters on deck. Satanael be damned, getting Thanatos and my laughably OP Alice in the mix is going to be the best!

#Persona #Persona 3 #Persona 3 Reload #MegaTen #Shin Megami Tensei

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otakween · 5 months ago

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Digimon Rumble Arena 2 - Final Thoughts

Omg, I think this is my favorite of the fighting games yet! There was just something so satisfying about it. They found a good sweet spot in terms of difficulty level and simplicity in the gameplay. Also, I'm so happy to get to the PS2 era and that PS2 games WORK on my PC! I've never had a PC that could run PS2 games until now so this feels huge 🥹

Notes:

It's probably because it's on the PS2 instead of PS1, but this game felt a lot sleeker and more "serious" than the first installment. There was no goofy Guilmon voice saying "DIGIMON RUMBLE ARENA" and no Culumon going "which digimon are you gonna play as, huh?" instead we got intense techno music. Although those goofy aspects of the first game were charming in their own way, this one kinda feels like it's for the cool older kids in comparison lol.

I played through single player and did feel motivated enough to unlock all of the digimon this time. I think it's because the criteria for unlocking digimon were way more straightforward. (Also, I was just having fun).

The janky sports mini games from the first game are gone which is probably for the best. In their place we get "secret stages" that are set in the same arenas as normal fights but have different rules. I liked that idea and feel it added a lot to the replayability factor.

I did play through using "normal" digimon twice (Flamemon and Guilmon) but then I just had fun demolishing everyone as boss digimon. Playing as the boss characters definitely feels like cheating, but oh well. Maybe someday I'll challenge myself and do hard mode with Neemon or something. Or maybe not

I found both the controls and the UI to be pretty intuitive which I often find are big barriers to fighting games. It was a nice touch to add instructions to the load screens. Doing each character's "ultimate" attack was fun.

I really enjoyed the digivolution feature. It was easy to understand how you were supposed to achieve it and when you digivolved it actually lasted a decent amount of time. In some digimon games the digivolution is more like a quick summon that doesn't last very long. Here you get enough time with the higher level forms that it feels worth it.

Loved all the dub voice lines. It was pretty funny how your digimon would go "I win!" or "I lost..." basically repeating what the narrator had just said. Hearing the attack names scratched the itch I had from Battle Spirit 2. Some of the "taking damage" sounds were pretty distinct, especially Biyomon's ("owie!")

Winning as BelialVamdemon felt wrong lol. Just a massacre.

I thought the variety and creativity in the stages was good, but some of them were pretty annoying. Steam Town and the Great Waterfall were my least favorites because there was so little surface area to actually fight on. I thought the ones with moving platforms and the Toy Town one that was a sidescroller were really fun. It was satisfying seeing my opponents get KO'd by the scenery mwahaha

In some stages the camera would zoom so far out that I would lose track of my digimon and die as a result.

I enjoyed some of the silly little touches they added via items like "Sleepy time" (makes all of your opponents fall asleep) and "Piñata party" (turns you into a piñata).

Neemon being a boss was funny and unexpected.

I really enjoyed the boss stage because it was over quick, kinda like a wild west showdown. My fave move was cornering the boss, knocking him over, and then throwing him off the ledge >:) Come to think of it the boss in the first game was way harder because it was very difficult to dodge his attacks sometimes and there was less room to move around.

The Black versions of Agumon, Gabumon and Guilmon were interesting. I did feel like this game was a little too Adventure heavy though. We only got one digimon each from Tamers, Adventure 2, and Frontier (not counting bosses). I don't like the obsession this franchise has for Adventure in general...

There's only one more Digimon fighting game for me to play! That's wild to me. Looking forward to it.

#digimon #digimon rumble arena 2 #video games #gaming #digimon frontier

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rosie-b · 10 months ago

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you know how i feel about fantasy royal fairy etc etc etc bull shit so tell me about the prince who is also a cat or cat prince or whatever exactly that title was i would like some deets svp <3

Absolutely! 💕

In this fic, everyone has a magical power of some kind that they 'unlock' when they turn 18. Adrien, as the crown prince, is expected to have some very powerful, flashy, and suitably royal power, like his ancestors, like his father expects him to. Unfortunately, his only power seems to be shapeshifting, not into anything, but only into a little housecat. His father is not happy.

Meanwhile, Marinette is a commoner and recently discovered witch, who's learning how to do a summoning spell for her familiar. There's no way this could go wrong, right?

You got lucky and picked a fic I have a lot written for, so here's a snippet:

They hadn’t told the country what his power was yet. According to the magazines, it was going to be a “big surprise” that would be revealed for the 120th anniversary of the capital city’s founding.

Adrien wondered what his father was plotting to disguise the disgraceful reality of his son’s power with. False telepathy, perhaps. That would be easy to fake, until the first meeting with anyone he didn’t know from the palace. Which was, of course, a lot of people; most of them, in fact.

For now, his father’s plan remained a secret, and Adrien resigned himself to another afternoon of boredom as he sat down with Lady Bourgeois for another lesson in royal fashion.

As she began to ramble on about the key differences between mauve and indigo, Adrien closed his eyes and held back a sigh, taking care not to let his perfect posture slip. Forty more minutes and he would be free from this lesson… and then he’d be delivered into the hands of yet another boring tutor.

I wish I was anywhere but here, he thought, silently bemoaning the fact that he hadn’t been given the gift of teleportation, after all. That would’ve impressed his father and been useful for evading redundant lessons.

Suddenly, the sounds of Lady Bourgeois’ voice faded away, replaced by a thoughtful hum, several awed-sounding murmurs, and a high-pitched squeal.

“A black cat! See, Marinette, I told you you could do it!

Adrien’s eyes shot open. He looked around, taking in the bland-colored room, full of desks and perhaps fifteen people his age.

Had his wish somehow worked? Had he switched powers and been granted one his father could finally accept?

He took a hesitant step forward, but then Adrien froze.

The tile floor hadn’t vanished when he touched it, so this wasn’t a dream, but he could’ve sworn he hadn’t had paws just a few seconds ago! If he had the power of teleportation now, then how could he still be able to turn into a cat? And why had he done so without even noticing?

“A black cat for your familiar, how lucky!” a redheaded woman said, stepping forward to examine Adrien, who suddenly felt more on display than he had at his birthday party earlier that year, when everyone had been watching to see what his power was.

Beside the woman who seemed to be the class’s teacher, a girl with dark hair pulled back in pigtails scratched her cheek.

“Er, do you really think so?” she asked, looking nervous as she glanced back and forth from Adrien to the teacher.

“I knew it, girl!” Adrien recognized that voice from before. He watched as a girl with ombre-colored hair elbowed the nervous one and offered her a grin. “You’re going to be the best witch this country’s ever seen! Only the best witches ever summon a black cat to be their familiar.”

Adrien’s heart momentarily stopped.

“Meow?” he asked, forgetting that no one could understand him in this form.

The girls and boys in the class let out a chorus of awwwws. He was so flustered that he sat down and flattened his ears while he tried to figure out what had happened.

He’d been summoned as a familiar? A witch’s familiar? Despite being not only human, but magic on his own, and the prince, to top it off?

How on earth was this possible?

Thanks for the ask @aidanchaser!

#tag game #wip game #the prince is a cat :3

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ordosmarkzero · 2 years ago

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I started a Dark Souls replay a little while ago, have been wanting to for a while but was waiting for the pc servers to come back online because playing without messages just felt wrong.

Has been my first time playing since I beat it a few years ago, my first time on the Remastered version and my 2nd proper playthrough (I had a few failed attempts before I beat it the first time where I never got much further than around Darkroot Garden / Depths).

Here's some random thoughts I've had during my playthrough, might continue to update this as I go, also spoiler warning I guess?

This is my first time doing an INT/DEX build (Sorcery) properly, all 3 games + Bloodborne I did STR mainly. At first I felt very powerful compared to that and was surprised at how quickly you can blitz down bosses, but as it went on I started to feel the trade off of not having big armour and not being able to hit as hard with your weapon. I'm glad it's now feeling more like a different kind of challenge instead of just being easier. I'm also intrigued to try out faith now too.

I keep going back and forth and how I feel about the lack convenience compared to 2&3. When I got to just before O&S in Anor Londo I was starting to feel like my spells weren't hitting hard enough so I resolved that I had to go back and buy the ring that boosts sorcery. This meant I had to go back through Anor Londo, then descend Sen's Fortress all whilst not using a bonfire so I could easily Homeward Bone back. It wasn't that bad as you can run past the big guys in AL and I had unlocked the elevator in Sen's, but I got knocked off a ledge by a trap due to rushing + nerves and fell to the bottom, I only just survived and had to then use the ladder to get back up. This journey wasn't that much of a big deal but was definitely one of the more memorable parts of my playthrough, whereas in 2 & 3 it would have just been warping back to the hub then warping back to where I was and have lasted about a minute or two. I also enjoy that the merchants and blacksmiths are spread around the world, makes them and the world feel more alive. But sometimes I do find the "oh I need this item/upgrade so I have to travel all the way here" quite tiresome. I suppose it works better in DS1 because it's a lot easier and quicker to get from place to place.

I tried the Forest Hunter covenant for the first time and it's pretty fun! I never really did any PvP in the first game and most people are much better than me but I enjoyed doing it for a while.

The separation between magic & enchanted feels kind of pointless. Maybe I'm not using the right weapon or I've messed up my build somehow but I plugged my stats and weapon into mugenmonkey and even when I extrapolated my INT to around where it'll probably end up the difference was so minimal in what damage my weapon would end up doing between the two.

It's probably because I play the game quite late at night and the game is so old but it feels quite dead. I've barely seen any summon signs and never been summoned when I dropped one of my own. Have had a few invasions though. I think I'll try again during Return to Lordran and see whether that's any better (which I guess would also be a good time to test out a faith build).

I'd kind of blended together Siegmeyer & Siegward in my mind. Whilst I still like Siegmeyer and think he's quite funny, I love Siegward, he's so charming and all the encounters with him are fun. The first time you meet him and the game lets you know he's there because you hear the "hmmmm" as you pass him on the elevator is forever in my mind and one of my favourite introductions to a character.

On the other hand I found Solaire a bit boring on my first full playthrough but I'm liking him a lot more this time.

The Undead female merchant is also pretty fun, "you'd trust a piece of moss over me..."

#dark souls #fromsoftware

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heart-of-the-party · 2 years ago

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we actually finished a lot of post-hw content yesterday, lemme try to summarize (things might be not in order because i am just going off memory)-

- KRILE IS SUPER CUTE (also idk why her name was localized as krile while in japanese they call her kururu (i am not gonna google this tho, dont want spoilers) the jp name makes sense lore-wise because i think that’s how lalafell naming convention works)

- i deeply enjoy the alphinaud teasing. it’s very funny.

- THANCRED!!! ngl i love his new look though tbf i also thought he had aged.

- I ACTUALLY GASPED OUT LOUD WHEN WE SEE THE WARRIOR(S?) OF DARKNESS

- my friend and i were in vc and we kept going omg omg it’s themmmmm, it’s us!!!!

- oh also one of the summoner quests was called “i could have tranced all night”, i kept reading it as “i could have THANCRED all night” and was like yeah sure :3c

- AYMERIC WHY DID YOU WALK AROUND WITHOUT A GUARD!! i knew he wouldn’t die, but for a moment i did get really worried if they were gonna off him :<

- I am glad tho that daddy fortemps or artoirel didnt get in the way and die u_u

- EVERYTIME I LISTEN TO THE ISHGARD THEME AT NIGHT OR THE DRAGONSONG MUSIC I GROW INCREDIBLY SAD (idk how will i get over both of them)

- WE GET A HAURCHIE MINION!!! and the knight of house fortemps title (with a shield that totally didnt make me emotional)!

- i like that the moment i summoned the minion, my friend and i simultaneously /pet it, like we didnt plan for it. we just did immediately. we just love him so much ;;A;;

- ALSO WHOA THE WHOLE SCENE WITH VIDOLFNIR SAVING THE GIRL WAS AWESOME

- I have to say tho the interaction was sweeter in japanese because the girl calls her shiroi dragon-san and when she thanks the dragon, vidolfnir tells her that her lifespan is short so she should treasure her life (or something to that extent) while in english she simply says youre welcome

- ALSO OMG AYMERIC INVITES YOU FOR A DRINK. idk how he sounds in english but i def felt like he was a bit flustered in japanese.

- man will we ever learn to not be suspicious of things, especially when we were told tensions are running high just before the peace meet at falcon’s nest?

- every time a random unnamed npc has a voiced scene, it feels like shit is about to go down (and it did).

- EMMANELLAIN NO!!! tbh i feel really bad for him. he’s never really been given responsibilities or reprimanded for crossing lines, he’s been coddled and ofc you cannot expect him to make good judgements under pressure. i felt like whatever happened next was pretty good. felt real. poor honoroit tho.

- MAYBE I READ IT WRONG BUT THANCRED IMPLIES THAT AYMERIC IS IN LOVE WITH YOU??? i need to go back and se this (unvoiced) line again.

- i am finally weaver level 47 (i think), i have unlocked some cool recipes but they probably require some crazy-ass ingredients smh.

well, that’s all i remember from yesterday. my sister is playing through hw now, so i ask her to guide me where haurchefant is standing in her game and i emote /hug and /blowkiss at him (or rather his ghost, since he isnt there for me), things i didnt do enough when he was around (which i deeply regret).

i am looking to join a fc but idk how to pick one since my timezone is quite different from usa lol.

#wow this was a long-ass post #i wish i made posts like this as i played hw though #oh well #ALSO HEY URIANGER IS DOING SOME SHADY-ASS STUFF #and i got a glimpse of alisaie's shoe #i know because i detest the twins' ARR shoes #thank halone for tataru's fashion sense

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smokeybrand · 9 months ago

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Festival Season

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zintranslations · 3 years ago

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Kaleidoscope of Death, Extra 6

Kaleidoscope of Death by Xi Zixu Link to Chinese / Novel Updates

Extra: Twin Lives, Twin Deaths (3)

The first person to leave a door could gain a hint about the next door. This was preferential treatment and leniency that the door awarded the victor. This was also an affirmation of strength.

But what many people didn't know was that when only one person was left in a door, that person, upon leaving the door, would earn a very special sort of hint. The person who possessed this hint gained not only detailed insight into the next door, but also a chance to save their own life.

For reasons, Ruan Nanzhu had never told Cheng Yixie about this. Cheng Yixie only learned about it by accident.

And Cheng Yixie, after just barely scraping his way out of the seventh door, had also come to a realization. He'd realized that he couldn't protect Cheng Qianli. The world of the doors was treacherous and ever-changing; no matter how smart he was, he was just a mortal in the end, and all mortals made mistakes. Mistakes in daily life may be utterly unimportant, but mistakes made inside the doors could cost you your life.

Cheng Yixie returned to the mansion, saw Cheng Qianli's brilliant grin embracing Toast, and made a silent decision.

Everything that followed became so reasonable.

Cheng Yixie was clever, and when clever people did bad things, they were naturally adept.

"Do you have any idea what you're doing, Cheng Yixie." Ruan Nanzhu very quickly figured out Cheng Yixie's deviancy, and he and Cheng Yixie had their very first explosive argument. "You're going to get Cheng Qianli killed, as well as yourself!"

Against Ruan Nanzhu's accusations, Cheng Yixie chose silence.

"Stop this, while you still can," Ruan Nanzhu said. "Don't wait until it's too late to turn back…"

Cheng Yixie gave Ruan Nanzhu an answer. He said, "Cheng Qianli's not even eighteen yet."

He held onto the railings, looking out over the lush green yard where Cheng Qianli and Toast were chasing each other around in play.

"If only one of us can survive, I hope it to be him."

Ruan Nanzhu, "but there are other ways. You're choosing the stupidest method—"

"But it's the most lucrative." Cheng Yixie was no older than fourteen, but there wasn’t any trace of a child's innocence to be found in his eyes. His pupils were deep lakes, in which were hidden things even Ruan Nanzhu couldn't comprehend. "Sorry, Ruan-ge, I really can't just watch Qianli die."

Ruan Nanzhu knew he had no chance of convincing Cheng Yixie. He said no more, and walked away.

At this point, the worst that Cheng Yixie had done was let people go to their deaths. But after…Cheng Yixie closed his eyes. He never wanted to talk about what happened after anymore.

Once someone broke their bottom line, it was like plunging into a quagmire; you could only keep sinking.

Had it been anybody else, Ruan Nanzhu would likely have already kicked Cheng Yixie out of Obsidian. But Cheng Yixie was just a kid. He was like a fresh-grown sapling that, before it could even grow up straight, got snapped at the waist by the battering rains and winds.

Cheng Yixie began to sink deeper and deeper in to the abyss, until he had no way of ever getting out.

Everybody said what went around would always come back around; Cheng Yixie thought that he would be the one to pay for the things he did. Once people do wrong, they had to pay a price. Cheng Yixie was willing to pay for his sins with his life.

But on the day retribution truly came, Cheng Yixie finally learned that some things didn't happen as easily as he's imagined.

The tenth door was hellishly difficult.

Even with the special hint slip, Cheng Yixie was running on the last of nine lives inside.

Just as he had Cheng Qianli, and the two were stumbling their way to the door, they discovered that where the door should have been was instead a giant green bronze statue. The statue was beastly and looked like a demon, and the green bronze encasing it was beginning to crack, revealing hard skin as black as lava rock underneath.

Seeing such a scene, Cheng Yixie knew the monster before him was about to wake. Though the door was right behind it, they still couldn't make their way through.

"Gege," Cheng Yixie spoke quietly, standing behind Cheng Yixie. "I'm scared." The hand he held Cheng Yixie's with was covered in sweat, and there was a helpless tremor in his voice.

"Don't be scared, I'm right here," Cheng Yixie comforted Cheng Qianli quietly. He took a deep breath, and then stuck a hand in his pants pocket, settling on the sharp dagger folded inside. "Just listen to me, and it'll be fine."

Cheng Qianli scooted closer. He seemed to have sensed something, and wrapped Cheng Yixie up in a tight embrace. They were twins, after all; they felt everything together. Through the thin clothing between them, Cheng Yixie could feel the heat of Cheng Qianli's body as well as the anxiety in Cheng Qianli's heart.

"Gege." Cheng Qianli's voice was filled with woe, and even sounded a bit choked. "Is it about to come to life?"

The monster behind them had already exposed the blood red of its eyes. The giant jaw packed full of fangs began to savagely snap. It looked ready to pounce at any moment.

"Mh," Cheng Yixie said. "But it won't be able to hurt you."

"Why am I so stupid?" Cheng Qianli said. "If only I were smarter." His tone of voice was agonized. "If only I were smarter, then Gege wouldn't have to work so hard…"

Cheng Qianli's arms around Cheng Yixie slowly began to loosen, and his voice too grew faint.

"But no matter how stupid I am, I still know what Gege wants to do…"

Cheng Yixie felt that something had gone wrong. His voice froze for a moment, and he slowly turned his head.

"Qianli…"

"Hey, I brought one too," Cheng Qianli said. "I hid it in my pants pocket, just like you."

He was smiling, but was likely also in agony—this smile was particularly hideous.

Cheng Yixie’s head inched down, and he saw a dagger stuck in Cheng Qianli’s chest. Bright red blood was flowing like a babbling brook down his chest, soaking his clothes and puddling on the ground.

Cheng Yixie saw that dagger, and felt himself reeling. He opened his mouth to say something, but the image before him appeared to have utterly stolen his ability to talk. He couldn't say anything, and his body slowly slumped forward.

"Ge…it hurts…" Cheng Qianli collapsed in Cheng Yixie's arms, black eyes big and staring. His pupils reflected Cheng Yixie's figure. He called, "Ge…"

"Aah…Aaaah!!" A wretched scream came out of his mouth, and Cheng Yixie could only watch as Cheng Qianli's breaths grew fainter. The roar of the monster behind him came from a spot directly over Cheng Yixie's head, but Cheng Yixie didn't turn around. The monster lunged at him and—

A black shadow enveloped Cheng Yixie. He ought to have been torn to pieces by the monster, but a faint sheen of light was emanating from his body. It partitioned the monster's attack directly away from him.

In Cheng Yixie's arms, Cheng Qianli's chest had stopped moving. With a numb expression Cheng Yixie turned around, spotting that huge black door behind the monster. He saw that door and stumbled to his feet with Cheng Qianli in his arms. He made a run for that door, unlocking it with the key drenched in blood. He still wanted to see Cheng Qianli again. There were still so many things he hadn't said to him.

Cheng Yixie sprinted out that tunnel like he had gone crazy, grabbing the Cheng Qianli outside in an embrace. The moment Cheng Qianli offered him a smile, mouthful after mouthful of blood began pouring out of Cheng Qianli's mouth. Cheng Qianli touched his face, called him Ge, told him not be sad.

Cheng Yixie was wailing. His Qianli, this was his Qianli—the kid he loved the most still hadn't been able to grow up. Hadn't even passed his eighteenth birthday. Certainly hadn't gotten to see all the beautiful sceneries of the world like he'd hoped.

What came afterwards, Cheng Yixie didn't really remember. He didn't really remember how he got through that time. By the time he came back to himself, he'd already left Obsidian, and was crossing doors with Zhuo Feiquan.

Zhuo Feiquan, like him, was a person left behind at the end of the world. Zhuo Feiquan no longer had a sister, and Cheng Yixie no longer had a brother. Zhuo Feiquan's luck was just a lot better than Cheng Yixie's, that's all—he had a pendant that his sister's soul laid in.

"Hey, you're not planning on getting me killed inside the doors and stealing my pendant, are you?" Zhuo Feiquan spoke frankly. "I'm telling you, I'm hardy as hell."

Cheng Yixie looked at him, answering faintly, "forget it. I thought about it, but it's better not to do it."

"Why not?" Zhuo Feiquan asked.

"I'm afraid he'll have to pay for the bad things I do again." Cheng Yixie's tone was cold. "Look, isn't that the case now?"

He didn't even dare to die, because his life had been traded in for Qianli's. That little fool had to be smart just this once, but this one time was all it took to torture him to death and back.

Zhuo Feiquan threw back his head and laughed.

To have experienced the same pain of losing family, the two actually had an odd resonance. Only those days didn't last. Zhuo Feiquan died in his own tenth door, and before dying, he placed his pendant in Cheng Yixie's hand. He didn't say anything, because both of them already knew.

Cheng Yixie clutched the pendant that Zhuo Feiquan gave him and managed a smile, meaning he had accepted Zhuo Feiquan's good will.

Once he had the pendant, Cheng Yixie wondered if he should use it to summon Cheng Qianli. But after thinking about it, he didn't do it. Because he remembered that Cheng Qianli was scared of ghosts.

If he wasn't there, Cheng Qianli could only wait around inside the doors. That was probably another kind of torture.

Cheng Yixie wouldn't do that to him.

The days went on one at a time. So Cheng Yixie thought that this would be the end of his and Cheng Qianli's story. He still went through doors in a state of numbness. He might die inside one of these days, but to the him right now, death seemed more like a merciful blessing and escape.

This continued on like this until Cheng Yixie went into his own eleventh door.

In his eleventh door, when he saw Tan Zaozao on television, Cheng Yixie became conscious of something. He left the hospital that he'd entered the door through in a hurry. He went back to his house and knocked on that familiar door.

Moments later, the door opened to reveal a face completely identical to his. And when he saw Cheng Yixie, he looked on with a stunned expression.

Cheng Yixie began to laugh, ignoring Cheng Qianli's shock completely and wrapping him up in a hug. He said, "idiot, Gege's been looking for you for such a long time." I thought that once I'd lost you, I would never get you back.

Good thing that now, he was finally found.

And since he was found, staying in this illusory world of the door seemed to be…not all that bad.

The once-split soul merged back together then, from two to one, just like the moment they were birthed from their mother's body. A satisfied smile appeared on Cheng Yixie's face. He dried the tears at the corners of his eyes and watched as the sun outside the window slowly descended beneath the horizon.

Translator’s Note:

Look, I need those of you who have even a passing understanding of Chinese to suffer this passage with me: 程一榭嚎啕大哭，他的千里，他的千里啊——他心愛的小孩還是沒能長大. The original is simply “HIs Qianli, his Qianli ah...” Just a fucking WAIL. Like me. Just fucking head back, sobbing at the ceiling.

[Extra: Twin Lives, Twin Deaths(2)] | [Extra: Bai Ming and Zhang Yiqing]

#kaleidoscope of death #xi zixu #cnovel #chinese translation #死亡萬花筒 #look mother i'm crying again #but this counts as HE i think #we get a break in the next extra #and then the last extra is Tan Zaozao ahahahah--#look i'll get those two done at the same time too #and recommend you read the tzz one first bc #y'know #then you get to end on a cheery stupid gays note

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amiramorozova · 2 years ago

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Twisted Twins pt. 4 -Meeting the Godmother before the date-

Getting back to her Dorm Amira just had to get my homework she didn't get done and then she figured things would go normal. Amira wanted to just spend her life the way she wanted but this was not going to be easy. In fact Amira called her grandmother as Amira waited for her to pick up then Amira heard her. "Hello" Grandma said

"Grandma, it's Amira.." Amira said as she knew it was not often she got to talk with her with her college schedule. Amira also hadn't met her grandmother's friend the Godmother or found out much about her being the Sunlight till recently. "Amira, what's wrong? You haven't called in awhile are the people there being nice?" Grandma asked as Amira knew she couldn't shake it. "It's not that...grandma the sons of the Godmother have found me." Amira said

Waiting to see what Grandma Catalina was going to say but it was quiet "Aleksander or Billy?" Grandma asked as Amira closed her eyes "Both..I have a date with Aleksander tonight." Amira explained as she explained the situation that had befallen her and how Aleksander had said he wasn't going to force her to be his but Billy was insisting. "Be on your best Behavior. I'll be at your college tomorrow to talk with him." Grandma suggested "ok, I love you Grandma." Amira said as she hungup.

Finishing her homework she felt like she could be nervous with what was about to happen. Something with Aleksander had her feeling a pull but she wouldn't just give in to temptation so easily. So when I was finished getting ready I walked out as I thought everything would be fine but then my roommates Marie and Nadia looked up. "Amira. You look great." Marie said as Amira smiled. "I don't know about this date but I did agree." She told them as Nadia laughed. "I think you're in safe hands." Nadia said

Before I could say anything as I was getting my shoes on I heard the knock looking at the door. Marie went to the door answering it and there standing was Aleksander as I finished with the last shoe. I walked over as he offered his arm and I accepted. "Ready to go?" He asked as I nod. I made sure to bring my ID in case we went somewhere I needed to show it and waved bye to them.

I didn't know what to expect when it came to him but then I noticed a fancy car and looked at him. "I thought you may prefer this over a limo." Aleksander said as he hit the button and the car unlocked. Then he opened the door for me to get in as I got in the passenger seat seeing that it was just us. As I watched he was getting in the driver seat then started to drive. It was quiet till he decided to speak to me.

"Did you even know your grandmother was the Sunlight?" Aleksander asked as Amira looked at him and then looked forward. "I had saw her jacket she'd hung up but she never talked about it. I never even knew the family's connection to the Mafia." Amira answered as she knew he was curious. "I've heard the stories. She was the most feared above all of them, her and my insufferable mother were the best tag team in the world then your grandmother wanted out. Mom didn't want to let such an important ally go so she made her agree to marry off the next Sun Summoner female to well she expected she'd have one but she had me and Billy. Do you know how long we've been waiting for you?" Aleksander asked as Amira just listened. "No." Amira answered

"We've been waiting over a thousand years for you Amira. Times have change in all this time and your family still manages to survive. There hasn't been another Sun Summoner who is a girl until your birth Amira." Aleksander said as Amira didn't know what to say to him when it came to the fact the Mafia was older than she thought. "Well I'm sorry you've waited so long for someone who may be a disappointment." Amira said as she felt Aleksander put a hand over hers and she looked but he was focusing on driving. "No, Amira. I saw the light when Billy amplified you. Your worth the wait." Aleksander said

Amira blushed slightly unintentionally but she still watched the outside to see where they were going when he parked at a club. Amira wasn't sure what to think but then Aleksander let her hand go as he parked the car and gave the keys to a valet before he opened my door offering his hand. I put my hand in his as he led me out and went with him. I was just expecting a normal date but guess we were jumping right into fancy.

As we walked in Amira noticed that she might have been a bit under dressed as he led her in having my arm hold onto his arm. It was only as we walked in did Amira realize that we were in the Mafia club when I saw a chair and saw the woman sitting on the chair. "I thought you said you wanted to earn my trust." Amira said as he looked at her but she realized this wasn't his idea. She looked forward at the woman in the chair.

This is her idea...to meet my grandmother's granddaughter. Amira thought

Amira's pov:

Aleksander led me down some stairs as I realized I wasn't prepared for this at all. Legally I couldn't marry both her sons anyway and only be the wife of one of them. I looked at Aleksander seeing he didn't seem to like the idea of being infront of his mom yet he never did anything of this. Before Aleksander could say anything I heard the sound of someone coming in and saw Grandma as I was shocked.

"Baghra!" Grandma said as she came down but some guards tried to stop her but she hit them with sun. "As strong as ever." Baghra said before she looked down at me. I was unsure what to say. "You favor your grandmother when she was your age. I see you've agreed to a date with my eldest." Baghra said as I looked at her "Are you mute girl?" Baghra said as I shook my head "No." I said

Grandma made it down as she was dragging about several guards with light ropes and threw them down. I was still in shock that even at her age she could just do that without a second thought. "You failed to tell about your descendant." Baghra said as Grandma looked a bit angry. "She's my granddaughter. But legally she could never marry both your sons." Grandma said as I felt Aleksander remove my hand but he wrapped his arm around me in a protective manner before I even know what was going on.

"Aw so I can only use her when Aleksander doesn't have her." Billy said as he seemed to show up unexpectant. Aleksander's arm unfortunately only seemed to grip a little tighter on me "Now now Billy, she's still a lady and if I am the rightful one to be her husband then I can set rules on when you can be around her." Aleksander said as Billy didn't seem to like it. "I wouldn't be so sure. She's got no ring to right now she's fair game." Billy said

What the...when did it suddenly go to twins fighting over me. Amira thought

Baghra looked at my grandma as if there was some challenge between them. Baghra offered two boxes as she tossed them. Billy caught one and Aleksander had kept hold of me while his shadows caught the other. When it was opened I was shocked seeing a ring inside. "First one to get her to wear their ring gets to marry her." Baghra said

Amira's choice if she chooses to marry Aleksander:

Amira's choice if she marries Billy:

Which do you think she should choose?

TagList: @lifeisingrey, @houseoftoomanyfandoms, @mizelophsun11, @budugu

#twisted twins #billy russo x oc #billy russo #aleksander morovoza #darkling x reader #darkling x oc #Team Darkling #the darkling #darkling #thesunlight #Catalina de la rosa-Silina #Amira Silina #dual summoner #shadow and bone crossover with The Punisher #ben barnes #fanfic #original story

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babytaes · 4 years ago

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reaction to being asked to prom| en- ─ ot7 ˎˊ˗

a/n- I wanted to upload a prom reactions because my prom was yesterday and it felt right to do so. This one is quite lengthy. Enjoy-BT

✧ heeseung ∘*

The day was unlike any other, except that Heeseung had a mission in mind that he had been working on for months. He wanted to ask you out for prom, which was just around the corner. Despite the fact that you've been close friends for a long time, this has been on his mind for some time.

You'd just been summoned to join the boys for a casual lunch. You made sure to bring your camera with you when you left the house because they really wanted YOU to take their photos. You were the very best.

As you walked in the house, a familiar face opened the door as the cool air swirled around you.

“Hey Jake, where are we going to eat?” As he led you outside, he laughed and smiled broadly.

As you looked at what was in front of you, a loud boom sounded. As tears streamed down your face, the confetti danced around you. Heeseung and the other members stood there with your favorite roses, holding up letters spelling out Prom.

Your legs ached as you wobbled through the vast scene, weeping as you stared at him. As Heeseung handed you the roses, you stood face to face with him.

"So, what's your response?"

Your legs moved faster than your mind could comprehend as you engulfed him in a hug, laughing as you held onto him.

“Of course, I'd love to go to prom with you!”

“SHE SAID YES!!!” While the others snapped photos, Heeseung hugged you even closer.

“Oh, how much fun we'll have together.”

✧ jay ∘*

Jay was an old fashioned man. He didn't rush his plans; they didn't come together in a day. He wanted to be certain that all of the specifics were correct in order to meet your needs. Despite the fact that you told him you weren't planning on attending prom. He was trying to persuade you to change your mind.

The couch was the place where you guys hung out the most, watching childish movies or having intense making out sessions. It had a soft spot in your heart. You laid your head on the couch arm, pondering on what to do on it.

Sunghoon was just around the corner as you leapt to your feet, staring at him as he walked to the entrance. In his right, he was carrying a bag.

“Hey, what are you up to...?” Also, where are the guys? It shouldn't take two hours to get food back.”

He walked down the corridors, shrugging his shoulders as he left the room. As he raced down the stairs, smiling, he returned to the door and gave you a slow wink.

“There's something wrong with him.” You jumped to your feet and put on some slides as you chased him out of the building.

“SUPRISEEEE."

As you turned around, your heart paused for a brief moment. The house was festooned with a sign and balloons proclaiming. “Are you UP for Prom?”

“NO FUCKING WAY JAY." You dashed to his arms and kissed him as he drew you in closer.

“Had to use one of your favorite films. I sincerely hope you enjoy it.”

“I love it."

✧ jake ∘*

As you walked out of the building and into your car, your phone rang.

“Hey, love, how about a movie night...?”

You smiled as you drove over to his place, eager to spend some time with him before finals began.

When you approached the driveway, you noticed a large number of other vehicles. They seem to be part of the group. You unlocked the door with your spare key, minding your own business. As you waved to the other members on the sofa, Jake ran up and wrapped you in an embrace.

“Is it okay if I take a shower?” I'm hot and sticky, and I'd like to spend the night.” Jake chuckled and kissed your lips before sending you upstairs to shower.

*Shower Done 30 minutes later*

“Hey Jake, I'm finished-” Your feet came to a halt on the stairwell, as you covered your mouth and stared at the scene in front of you. Jake is standing there with flowers in his hand and a sign that reads, “Will you light up my night at PROM?” You laughed and walked over to the group, tears in your eyes.

“Of course, I would love to.” As he pulled you into an embrace and kissed your forehead, the members erupted in screams.

✧ sunghoon ∘*

“This is too awkward; why can't I just ask her out regularly?” Sunghoon sighed into his hands and lowered his head. Sunoo laughed at his older friend as Jake pushed him.

“No girl wants to be asked out so casually, Sunghoon; you have to make it unique and unforgettable.” He sprang from his chair, picking up his head and nodding at the boys. He exited the practice room with his phone in hand.

Jake and Sunoo exchanged a giggling smile.

“So help him."

You entered your apartment, set your bags down, and took a look around. When you entered the kitchen, you were greeted by a familiar face.

“AHHH, Sunghoon you scared me.” He jumped as he put the knife down and walked over to you, hugging you as he stared at your petite body.

“Well, I made some homemade pizza and decided to surprise you with it. “Would you like to see?” You nodded and walked over to the pizza, gasping at what you saw.

*I know it's cheesy, but Prom?* As you embraced him again, Sunghoon covered his face with his hands. As you raised your head to look at him, he peered through his eyes and stared at you.

“You didn't have to do all of this you know, a simple request would have sufficed.” Through his eyes rolling, he gasped and chuckled.

“And the boys said I needed to go all out.”

✧ sunoo ∘*

“Sunoo, you're acting strange, what's up with you?” Sunoo was about to take your hand in his and take you for a stroll. Unfortunately, you were exhausted and didn't want to go.

“Just this one time, Y/N. After that, we won't have to take any more. Pretty please .” As he pouted in front of you, he gave you one of his award-winning cute smiles. They were irresistible.

“Fine, but I'd like something to eat on the way back.” He squealed as he pushed you out the door on his way to the park, grabbing his shoes and jacket.

When you both approached the park's entrance, he kissed your hand and dashed inside. When you followed him around the corner, you rolled your eyes and yelled after him.

“SUNOOO, I thought we weren't running.” You grumbled as you rounded the corner to see a surprising sight.

“Y/N Y/L/N, will you take me to be your date at Prom.” You laughed and scratched your head as you shook your head.

“No.”

Sunoo and the other members gasped as they awkwardly looked around after turning off their phones. You guffawed and dashed up to Sunoo, kissing his lips while laughing into his.

“Just kidding, I would love to go to prom with you. I will say no next time if you got me running anymore.” He laughed as he handed you the flowers before entwining you guys hands.

“I promise.”

✧ jungwon ∘*

As you and Jungwon walked through the Carnival, a warm breeze blew through the crowds, illuminating all of the attractions. As he led you to a stop on your date, you leaned your head against his shoulder.

“My treat is cotton candy,” You squealed and a wide smile emerged on your face as you pointed to the blue one. He took out his wallet and requested two blue bags from the lady. You and Jungwon arrived at the Ferris Wheel after eating your and mostly Jungwon's bag.

It was unexpectedly empty, and you dashed to the front of the line. When Jungwon said he needed to use the restroom, you were about to climb in. He kissed your brow and walked over to the bathroom.

“Y/N?”

You turned around to look at him and gasped. In his hand, he carried a sign that read. *You're the FERRIS of them all. Wheel you like to go to PROM with me?” As your skin began to tingle with excitement, a tear streamed down your face.

“Yes, Jungwon, I would love to join you.” Your feet guided you to his side, where you softly kissed him and soaked it all in!

✧ ni-ki ∘*

As you began your final lap for the track, the breath in your lungs had left you. When you looked up, you saw Ni-ki approaching you. Before he zoomed ahead of you, you both paused and chatted for a bit.

“You wanna head over to my house for some studying?"

When you hit him, a laugh escaped your mouth.

“That never happens, and you're well aware of it.”

He laughed with a smirk on his face before shouting something you didn't hear.

“Ni-ki, what did you say?”

He chuckled and made his way to the locker room. You shook your head and walked over to the girls locker room, laughing as you entered the showers.

You threw your filthy uniform in your bag and stepped towards the bench as you dried yourself and put on a fresh set of clothing.

“You have to come see this right now, Y/N.” Seri walked into the locker room panting, grabbing your shirt and dragging you back outside.

A series of hurdles were placed in the form of a question: PROM?" Your brows drew together as your jaw dropped.

“No way”

As he asked you again, Niki stood in front of you. You dashed up to him and embraced him, kissing his cheek and thanking him for his thoughtful gesture.

“I can't wait."

➳ Navigate to the Maze

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sisterspooky1013 · 3 years ago

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Only One Choice, Part 2, Chapter 14

Read it here on AO3 / Tagging @today-in-fic

“It was so good to see you, Will,” Valerie says in a muffled voice against his chest as he has her wrapped up tightly in a bear hug.

“I know, I’m so glad I ran into you,” Mulder replies, brushing his hands over her back. He pulls away and kisses her softly on the cheek.

“It makes me really happy to see you so happy,” she says with a smile, her long brunette hair lifting softly in the breeze, brown eyes holding affection that can only be held between two people who have the type of bond that can withstand a breakup and then a transition from lovers to friends.

“Likewise,” he says, nodding towards the small swell of her growing belly.

“I’d love to meet your girlfriend someday, if you think she’d be okay with that,” she says, collecting her purse.

“Yes, I’d really like that. I think you two would get along really well, actually,” he says, and she smirks at him.

“You’re not afraid we’ll bond over having to sit through your shitty movie collection?” she teases, and he laughs good-naturedly.

“Hey, Scully likes my shitty movies, that’s why we’re a perfect match,” he retorts.

She squeezes his arm.

“Call me sometime, okay?”

He nods and watches her walk away, feeling like he’s on cloud nine. A great friendship with his ex-girlfriend, a promising new love with the woman of his dreams; he can only imagine what lies in store next. He practically skips on the walk back to his car, wondering if Scully might let him come by tonight, hoping that he won’t have to wait until the weekend to see her again. He decides to call her as soon as he gets home.

The first few times he gets her machine, he assumes she must be at her mother’s. When she still hasn’t answered or called back by 9:00 pm, he’s confused. When he emails her the next morning and still hasn’t gotten a response at 10:00am, he’s officially worried.

Something is wrong.

———

She had eventually turned off the ringer on her phone and put the volume all the way down on her answering machine so she wouldn’t have to hear his increasingly obsessive attempts to get ahold of her, then slept fitfully all night.

She knows that she needs to give him some kind of response or he’ll show up on her doorstep, but she can’t bring herself to face him, even in voice. Every time the image of him with that woman pops back into her head, she feels a lump form in her throat immediately, a sick sadness welling in her belly. She’s pored over every memory in her mind, every interaction they’ve had, searching for signs. Signs that he was seeing someone else, that he wasn’t interested in anything other than getting in her pants, that he was lying to her. Her thorough inventory brings up next to nothing, which almost makes it worse; how adept he must have been at creating a false reality for her to exist in. Perhaps he’s garnered some tips from the sociopaths he studies, or maybe his background in psychology allowed him to manipulate her.

When she arrives at work, she is unsurprised though still dismayed to see an email waiting for her.

From: [email protected]

Sent: May 5, 1997 7:57 am

To: [email protected]

Subject: Where are you?

Scully, you’re freaking me out. Are you okay? Please respond.

She deletes it immediately and tries to focus on work. She performs an autopsy and teaches a class, both welcome distractions from her emotional torment. Just before 11:00 am, the phone rings.

“Autopsy bay, this is Trudy…yep, she’s here, one second.”

Trudy turns and opens her mouth to speak, but sees Dana waving her arms and shaking her head. She makes a confused face and puts the phone back to her ear.

“Oh, actually she just stepped out, sorry. Can I take a message?”

She watches as Trudy scribbles something on a piece of paper.

“Uh huh…yes. Okay, I’ll tell her…you have my word.”

She replaces the phone on the receiver and hands Dana the paper with a sympathetic frown.

“Trouble in paradise?” she asks rhetorically.

Dana looks down and deciphers Trudy’s messy scrawl.

Call Mulder immediately. Send a sign of life.

She crumples it up and tosses it into the trash can.

“You wanna talk about it?” Trudy asks.

“Nope,” Dana replies, turning back to the computer.

From: [email protected]

Sent: May 5th, 1997 11:03am

To: [email protected]

Subject: PLEASE RESPOND

Scully, I don’t know what the hell is going on, but if you don’t reply to this within an hour I’m driving down there.

Please respond

She feels fresh tears well in her eyes. Why is he trying so hard if he’s seeing someone else anyway? Why is he doing this to her? With a surge of anger, she hits reply.

From: [email protected]

Sent: May 5th, 1997 11:05am

To: [email protected]

Subject: RE:PLEASE RESPOND

I’m fine, Mulder. Please just give me some space.

With that she closes her email, begs someone to take her second class of the day, and goes home.

———

He feels like he’s stepped into an alternate universe. He’d left her happy and satisfied, and out of nowhere she’s shutting him out. What does she need space for? Space from him? Why? Did he come on too strong and freak her out? He thought they’d moved past that. He picks up the phone again.

“Autopsy bay, this is Trudy.”

“Trudy, it’s Agent Mulder again. Look, I don’t want to put you in an awkward position, but is Dana there?”

She pauses. “No, she went home for the day. She seemed pretty upset.”

“Do you have any idea why?” he implores.

“No, other than the fact that it seems to be directed at you.”

“Yeah, that much I gathered. Thanks, Trudy, sorry to bother you.”

“No worries, good luck.”

He slams the phone down, grabs his jacket off the back of his chair and leaves.

———

She is half expecting his knock, but it still makes her jump, nearly causing her to spill her wine. She wants to just ignore him until he goes away, but she knows his proclivity towards persistence won’t let him do that. Better to just get it over with, she thinks as she slumps towards the door.

The second she lays eyes on him in his slacks and dress shirt, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and his tie discarded, she feels her chin pucker and tears threaten her eyes. As angry as she is, she immediately wants to go to him, to curl up within his embrace so he can comfort her. The problem is, what she needs comforting from is him.

“What is going on?” he says with a mix of frustration and fear.

She stands in the open doorway, not making space for him to enter.

“I saw you,” she says, her voice strained with emotion.

“You saw me...what?” he asks, his face a mask of confusion.

She lifts her chin, clenching her jaw and summoning strength.

“I saw you with her. Yesterday, at the Bluebird Cafe. After I had lunch with my family.” her voice holds steady, anger carrying her through.

His face falls and her gut twists. She wishes she didn’t have to watch this.

“THAT is what this is about?” he asks, but there’s no shame or regret in his voice. If anything, he sounds a little mad.

She nods curtly.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” he spits out, and she recoils a little at his vitriol. “Let me in, Scully. Right now,” he demands, and against her better judgement she moves aside.

He pushes past her into the apartment and she closes the door softly, leaving it unlocked in case either of them decides to make a hasty exit.

“Did you consider,” he begins, his back to her, “maybe, I don’t know, asking me about what you saw?” He turns to face her, one hand on his hip and his face contorted with anger. “Or were you just planning to avoid me until I gave up and went away again?”

She doesn’t know what to say. She’s confused about why he’s yelling at her when he’s the one who did something wrong. She just looks at him, expressionless.

He juts his chin out expectantly, waiting for an answer, but gets none. She averts her eyes.

“Is that all this is worth to you, Scully?” he continues, “you’re ready to throw this away over a simple misunderstanding, without even talking to me?”

She lifts her head and looks at him with a pained expression. “Okay then, talk,” she gets out.

He drops his head in frustration. “The woman you saw me with,” he says flatly, lifting his head to meet her eye, “was my ex-girlfriend, Valerie. I ran into her while I was running errands yesterday, and we had lunch. She has a boyfriend and is three months pregnant. We spent the majority of our meal together talking about you.”

She shakes her head gently, her throat closing as a tear rolls down her cheek. “I saw you kiss her,” she whispers, her jaw quivering.

“You saw me kiss her on the cheek? I also kiss my mother on the cheek, Scully, it’s hardly an intimate gesture.”

She feels a new wave of sickness pass over her, but this time it’s entirely different. This time it’s the sick feeling of realizing that she was very, very, wrong, and that she has, yet again, hurt the man who loves her. She opens her mouth to speak but she can’t find the right words.

He steps forward but doesn’t touch her. When he speaks, his voice is softer, more defeated than anything else.

“I’m sorry that you saw something that upset you. But if you actually thought for a single second that I want to be with anyone but you, you’re fucking insane. I meant what I said the day you left my apartment last year. I felt it then, and I feel it now. I want this to work more than anything, Scully, but for that to be possible you have to trust me. I can’t live with the knowledge that you might just shut me out at a moment’s notice when you get scared.”

She keeps her head down, overwhelmed by a combination of shame, embarrassment, and gratitude that he wouldn’t let her walk away. She does not deserve this man, but she wants to.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers, still unable to meet his eye.

“I know you are,” he replies, moving towards the door. “Take the space you need, and let me know when you’re ready to trust me.”

When she hears the click of the door closing behind him, she collapses to the floor, sobbing for so many reasons she couldn’t possibly name them all. When it’s faded to snivels and hiccups, she stands and goes to the hallway, picking up the phone.

“Hello?”

“Missy,” she chokes out, “Can you come over?”

———

He’s not sure if leaving was the right thing to do. The risk that she might not come back around is one that sends his stomach into knots, but at the same time he finds it hard to accept that she wasn’t even going to give him the opportunity to explain. He’s been actively working to temper expressing his feelings so he doesn’t overwhelm her, but then she gets it in her head that he’s not invested. It feels like he can’t win.

He goes back to work and stops by Kirkbride’s office to apologize for disappearing. Kirkbride just gives him a quizzical look, clearly not having noticed he had left. The rest of the day he buckles down on his caseload, distracting himself from the catastrophic thoughts that dance through his head, and gets more work done than he has in quite a while. When he leaves the office just after 5:00 pm, he feels melancholy and grouchy, and annoyed that he left the ball in her court.

The elevator dings to announce his arrival on the fourth floor and he steps out with a takeout bag in his hand, eyes downcast. Halfway down the hall, he readies his key and looks up, startling when he sees Scully sitting on the floor against his door, knees tucked up against her chest and her forehead resting on her kneecaps. She’s very still, and as he gets closer he realizes that she’s asleep. His heart aches knowing that she’s been waiting that long, that she didn’t want to leave without talking to him.

He crouches down beside her, setting his dinner on the floor, and gently touches her shoulder. She jerks, her head snapping up and her eyes wild for a moment while she tries to orient herself. When she focuses on him, she immediately starts crying, reaching out to wrap her arms around his neck. He’s surprised by her uncharacteristically emotional response, but says nothing and just holds her until his knees start to ache, at which point he sits down on the floor and pulls her into his lap. They stay this way for several minutes, long enough for one of his neighbors to walk by and politely avert their eyes, entering their apartment as though there was nothing out of the ordinary happening in the hallway. When the crying seems to have subsided a bit, he gives her a little squeeze.

“Wanna go inside?” he asks, and she nods against his chest, his shirt damp from her tears.

She stands unsteadily and he follows her, grabbing the takeout bag off the floor. They enter the apartment and Priscilla plods up to them with an excited meow. Scully leans down and picks her up, tucking the cat against her neck as they nuzzle each other. Mulder smiles at them with a bemused expression.

“She was talking to me through the door,” Scully says with a small smile, “she heard me knocking and was meowing from the other side. We had a conversation.”

Affection swells in his chest and he steps forward to kiss her. Her shoulders drop and she lets Priscilla down so she can get closer, threading her arms around his waist and kissing him back in earnest. Desperate, thought I’d lost you again kisses that are as arousing as they are a relief, because he knows that they will be okay.

He pulls back a little and she makes a whimpering sound in protest.

“I’m gonna go change really quick, okay? Then can we talk?” he asks, and she sighs and nods. “You can have half my Chinese,” he adds, and she gives him a tight-lipped smile.

When he sits on the couch beside her five minutes later, she scoots closer so they are pressed against each other, and he gathers that she needs physical closeness right now. He loops an arm around her shoulder and she crawls right back into his lap, curled against him as though trying to fuse her body to his own. Her head tucked beneath his chin, she holds one of his hands in her lap, fingers laced tightly together, and begins to speak.

“After you left, Missy came over and we talked for a long time. I’ve come to realize how much I’m still affected by...what happened last year. I harbor a lot of guilt for being unfaithful to Ethan, and that’s actually largely why I married him even though I knew my heart wasn’t in it.” She pulls in a deep breath, pressing their joined hands tight against her belly, trying to get even closer. “When you and I reconnected, in a way it felt like a chance to validate it. As though things working out with us would mean that what I did wasn’t as bad, because there was something real between us. But at the same time, a big part of me doesn’t believe that I deserve to be happy.” Her voice remains steady, but he feels the wet drop of a tear on the back of his hand.

He tightens his arm around her waist. “I’ve always been a person who values doing the right thing, and integrity was something that was very important to my father. It was his measure of a person’s character, and that’s something he instilled in me as well.” She sits up a bit so she can look at him, and his heart breaks at her red-rimmed eyes, her icy irises so mournful. “It’s not that I don’t trust you, Mulder. You haven’t given me any reason not to. It’s just that I don’t feel like I deserve this, especially with you, and I’m waiting for the moment it all comes crashing down. So when I saw you with that woman, it was almost like I’d been waiting for it, expecting it. Getting what I deserved.”

He brings his palms to her cheeks, brushing away the tears with his thumbs.

“Thank you for telling me that,” he says softly. “I wish I could change how you feel, but I know that I can’t. I do know how it feels to spend your life harboring guilt over something you could have done differently, and I can tell you that punishing yourself won’t make it any easier. It makes me really sad that you’ll always regret how we met.”

She closes her eyes and shakes her head gently. When she opens them, her expression is more tender than it is mournful.

“I don’t regret it, Mulder. I do feel guilt, and shame, for not ending it with Ethan so we could have done things the right way, but I could never regret meeting you.”

He pulls her back into an embrace, her arms wrapping around his ribcage, and plants a kiss to the top of her head.

“Are we okay?” he asks softly.

“I hope so,” she says hoarsely.

“Is this a bad time to tell you that Valerie wants to meet you sometime?” he asks, and she laughs.

“I don’t know, did you tell her that I freaked out on you because you had lunch with her?” she replies, and he can already hear her tone shifting back to their typical lighthearted banter.

“No, of course not. That’ll be our little secret. Well, plus Trudy. I think Trudy knows too much honestly.”

She laughs again, and god he could spend the rest of his life trying to make her laugh. In fact, that’s exactly what he hopes to do.

“Speaking of meeting people,” she continues, “Missy mentioned you to my mother yesterday and she wants to meet you.”

A grin stretches across his mouth, but he doesn’t say anything. She pulls back to look at his face, to gauge his reaction, and smiles softly in response.

“You want me to meet your mom?” he asks, the delight on his face carrying over to his voice.

Her mouth screws up shyly. “My little brother will probably be there too, and Missy. Is that too much?”

He shakes his head. “Sounds perfect. But, there are some friends I’d like you to meet too, if we’re meeting people.”

“The Lone Gunmen?” she asks with a skeptical lilt.

“Those are the ones. They’re my only friends, actually. Aside from Val.” Just then, Priscilla hops up onto the couch beside them. “Oh, and you Priscilla, sorry,” he adds.

Scully smiles at the cat, and then at him. “Can I bring Missy as a human buffer?” she asks hopefully.

“Of course. You may set a record for the highest number of female visitors to their lair in a day.”

“Lair?” she asks with wide eyes.

He chuckles. “They’ll grow on you, I promise.”

#the x files #dana scully #fox mulder #gillovny #txf #msr #sculder #x files fanfic #alternate universe

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mizelophsun11 · 3 years ago

Text

Mizeloph's Tale Chapter 9

Pairing - This story is still at the point of General Kirigan x OC Sun Summoner, but we are slowly getting closer to Kaz Brekker x OC Sun Summoner

Summary - Anna is making sure that she is not a force to be pushed over. She and Zoya go head to head with an outcome that no one was really expecting. When Anna needs it most there is comfort, but the challenge is thinking which one impacted her the most?

Word Count - 2314

Anna had wanted to do a little bit of exploring, she hadn’t seen much of the Little Palace since she had arrived. However, she always seemed to have a couple of guards following her wherever she went and stopping her from leaving. As Anna went to try again and go outside they blocked her from going out, as she finally decided to say something two Grisha girls came up behind her and wrapped their arms around one of hers.

“Anna! There you are” Nadia said

“We’ve been looking for you, but you always seem to be one step ahead of us” Marie smiled while holding onto Anna’s arm “I am Marie and this is Nadia” she introduced

Anna nodded looking between the two girls “do you know why they won’t let me outside? I just want to explore a little” she felt like a well kept captive, she hadn’t been outside on the Little Palace grounds since she had arrived

“You’re supposed to be training right now, Are you really a mapmaker?” Marie asked

“Were you really attacked by Fjerdans?” Nadia followed asking after her friend

“How many Fjerdans did you kill” Marie wanted to know any details

“You have it all wrong, I didn’t kill anyone. I didn’t even get much of a chance when I was dragged out of the carriage and almost killed..” Anna hated that she couldn’t even hold herself in a fight against the Drüskelle, Anna didn’t really think throwing a punch against the axe wielding Drüskelle would have given her much of a fighting chance “I have fought before in the past, but it was nothing like what happened..”

“If that is so, then I am glad we intervened” Marie smiled

“Welcome to the first part of your new daily schedule” Nadia looked at all of the Grisha who were working

Both Nadia and Marie sighed “Combat training” they said at the same time then let go of Anna’s arms

Anna watched as Grisha around her worked on combat training, some of it looked familiar from what she had done a few years ago. She might not have continued professionally because her drawing skills outshined how she fought, but she still tried to practice. In the moment when the Drüskelle had attacked she had the skills to defend herself, but with a combination of shock from her life changing and just a moment of panic she didn’t.

Botkin walked up to them “Sun Summoner, all of Raven's foes want to kill you before you can destroy the Fold, it’s a great honor to have so many enemies” he brought his attention over to a Grisha who was next to him

“Well, what a warm welcome, is this normal?” Anna said under her breath

Nadia nodded “unfortunately yes”

Botkin looked back over to Anna once he was done talking with the other Grisha “do you know how to fight?”

“I’ve had a few years of training but nothing much” her training had started in Ketterdam when she was on her own. A child fighting every day in order to make it through, but it was not anything formal. It did allow her to learn a natural way of being more light on her feet and quick to react to anything thrown at her in a fist fight. When she crossed the Fold and got older, Mal was able to introduce her to more formal training. Anna carried both experiences with her in any fight, but when her drawing skills were picked up by officials she became a map maker. She never complained about the change, but she definitely had to make more time so then she did not lose when life had taught her

“Alright, if you have some experience then show me, pick an opponent” he said stepping back

Anna looked at a few Grisha and nodded her head to Zoya “her”

“Zoya Nazyalensky, I’ve been training her since she was 10” Botkin stepped back allowing the two girls to face each other

“Care to back down?” Zoya smirked a little

“No, you might be surprised by what I can do” Anna knew that Zoya had more training, but Anna had the life experience to pack up her training

Anna set herself up, with her thumbs protected by her first, Zoya stood and watched her. When both girls decided to not charge in at once Anna decided to bait Zoya in “come on, I was expecting something more, after all I should be an easy target but you are just standing there like a clueless girl” Zoya was already angry at Anna for being the center of attention surrounding General Kirigan so in blind rage she went up to Anna and threw a punch at her face. Anna dodged then punched Zoya and while she was taken aback by the punch Anna spun around angling her foot so she would kick Zoya in her calf, which caused Zoya to fall. Zoya held her leg when she landed on the ground, she had completely underestimated Anna and now she was paying the price.

A Healer went to Zoya but she brushed them off “I’m fine” she gets up and is ready for another fight

Anna got ready again “are you sure Zoya?”

“Just come at me already!” Zoya was not having it and wanted to prove she was still one of the better fighters

Anna got close and swung with her left hand first knowing that Zoya would doge then quickly punched her square in the nose with her right hand. She then used her foot to trip Zoya as she stumbled back, Zoya landed on her back. Zoya had not been expecting to be completely humiliated by Anna on the first day. Anna was also not expecting to do as well as she did, she thought at most she might land one punch. Anna walked over to Zoya and held her hand out for Zoya to take, Zoya surprisingly took Anna's hand and she pulled her up.

“I might be Ketterdam trash, but you will always be second place” Anna pulled away from Zoya

Zoya was beyond angry, it was true that Anna had kicked her ass, she could tell now that Anna would not be standing for any bullshit. She could feel this anger that was building in her chest, first it was the attention of General Kirigan, and now Anna was showing she was the better fighter from today. In the moment she did not care about what Botkin was saying as she summoned a gust of wind and threw it at Anna.

Anna gasped when she landed in the hay, she heard Maria yell her name “Anna!” her two new friends helped her up

“Please tell me you are ok” Nadia said

“Are you ok?” Maria asked, they both helped brush hay out of Anna’s hair

“Yeah I’m fine, but that was a cheap shot on her end” Anna knew that she had slightly antagonized Zoya, but she could not stand what she had said to her after the demonstration and this was her getting even

“She’s just jealous, can’t bear the idea of anyone else being favored by General Kirigan” Maria said taking another piece of hay out of Anna's hair

“I don’t know why she waste her time pining over him when she could have me” Nadia said, Anna smiled at her

“Oh I am sure she is kicking herself now” Anna watched as Botkin scolded Zoya in front of everyone

“What were you thinking Zoya?! Against the Sun Summoner? Have you lost your mind? You lost the fight fair and square, that was completely uncalled for. She’s not the enemy any more than I am! Go!” he shoved Zoya off, she looked over at Anna for a second then began to walk away to get checked on by a Healer

“Are you hurt? Should we take you in to get checked?” Maria asked

“I think I’m fine, she never really landed anything on me when we were fighting, maybe if I go lay down in my room I will feel a bit better” Anna walked off to her room

She walked through the halls, taking a bit longer to get back to her room, it was nice to see a bit more of the palace. Anna wished that she could see more beyond the walls, but right now she knew that laying down would be the best option. Once she got to her room and walked over to her bed she saw a book on her pillow, specifically a sketchbook. She walked over to it and picked it up, Anna ran her fingers over the embroidered golden sun. Anna opened the cover and a letter fell out, she picked it up and read it.

Anna,

Genya told me that you had asked her about a sketchbook, so I thought I would give you this one as a memento for beginning your new life. I am sorry I could not give this to you in person like I had planned, but you were being called to training and I did not want to disturb you.

I hope you enjoy this sketchbook.

Sincerely,

General Kirigan

Anna smiled at the note and set it down on her bedside table, she didn’t realize how much she needed this. She flipped through the book looking at all of the blank pages that she could now fill with drawings of the Little Palace and more. Something she had been thinking about was the Stag that had been in her dreams lately. Anna thought that would be a nice first drawing for her new sketchbook, the stag was a creature that always gave her more questions than answers. However, no matter where she went that dream seemed to appear when she was feeling lost. It was as if the stag was guiding her to where she needed to be. As she finished the sketch of the stag she realized that there was someone she was thinking about, it was Kazie. The one who had always been at her side when she was young, sketching him was something she had thought about. As she began to sketch him how she remembered, it was as if a memory had been unlocked.

Anna was sitting with a piece of paper she had stolen and a chunk of coal that she had been using as a tool to draw. Her inspiration was the little boy that was sitting across from her, he hadn’t known she was drawing him until he moved slightly.

“Hey!” A young Anna said “you messed up the drawing..” she had gotten a good sketch down, but was about to start the details.

“How did I mess up the drawing? You didn’t even tell me you were doing it, maybe tell me next time” Kaz said

Anna pouted a little “cause I wanted it to be a surprise…”

Kaz sighed “I’m sorry Anna” he walked over to her and pulled her into a hug

Anna hugged back “it’s ok, I can always try to draw you again” she showed Kaz what she had so far and he was impressed

“Wow this is great” Kaz smiled and continued to look at the drawing

They continued to look at the drawing Anna had made, it was a bit rough because it was just a sketch and not the completed drawing. As Anna examined her work it make her think of something that she never really thought of.

“Kazie?” Anna looked up at the boy

“Yes Anna?” Kaz looked down at her “what is it?”

“I was just wondering.. If we break our promise to stay together and we meet as adults, how will we know.. You know..”

Kaz thought about what she was asking, he never wanted to be away from her, but in the worst case scenario.. “Your hair of course, you know it’s my favorite”

Anna smiled and touched a strand of her hair then looked at Kaz facial features “well, for me it would be your eyes, if I could recognize anything it would be your eyes”

Kaz nodded “but you know we will never break our promise right? We will always be by each other's side”

“I know, but I guess in the worst case scenario, but we will definitely always be together” Anna said

Anna got up and grabbed one of the blankets they had stashed, she laid down and laid the blanket over them. Kaz pulled her close wrapping his arms around her, he always enjoyed being this close and could never imagine not liking this. It was their thing to do and neither of them ever wanted to stop, there were times when they fell asleep like this. For both of them, it was when they were at their most vulnerable and asleep they relied on each other to protect one another from any danger.

Anna loved that memory with Kaz, it fueled her to draw the young boy she remembered from Ketterdam. When she had been brought to the orphanage it was difficult for her to make friends not only because she had hair like snow, but also because none of the children were Kaz. Mal and Alina were there for her and so it eventually became easier, however in the beginning she was struggling. Once she slowed down on her sketch of the young Kaz she remembered Anna looked at the eyes she had drawn. Those eyes would be the key to identifying Kaz if she ever saw him again. She closed her sketchbook and looked out the window seeing the sun was beginning to set. Anna got herself ready to go to bed, she changed into the new nightgown she had been given and laid down. She closed her eyes and for one night she was able to have a dreamless rest.

Author Note - Thank you for everyones comments about the flashback in the previous chapter! I added another one because I thought this would be a good spot for it to set up for later events. I appreciate everyone who is leaving comments and I love replying to everyone! To everyone who is reading my story I would love to read your comments! Also, if anyone would like to be added to the tag list please let me know and I will happily add you! If there are problems with the tag I will pm you to make sure that you are informed.

Tag List - @rika90 @itsemy01 @hotleaf-juice @teatimeforusreaders @benbarnes-supremacy @graciefullygracie @aleksanderwh0r3 @klaudosh @herbatkazmilosica

#the grisha series #grisha fic #grishaverse #shadow and bone #shadow and bone fanfiction #ben barnes #general kirigan #general kirigan x reader #freddy carter #kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader

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tsukifanbase · 4 years ago

Text

Obey Me! Brothers Visit MC During Autumn: Lucifer, Mammon, and Belphie

Authors Note: i'm thinking I might make this a series, like at the beginning of every season just something similar to this 👀 sorry I haven't written much lately! school's taking up pretty much all my time nowadays-- anywhosie, enjoy! [ also s p o i l e r s] (oh btw this is gonna take place after mc leaves devildom for the summer, before they come back to devildom) lmk if yall want pt 2 with the other characters

Warnings: fluff, bruh absolute just fluff everywhere like so much, mb a lil bit of angst but that's what all my writing is like so hehe

----------------

Lucifer

- i feel like lucifer would’ve visited you in the human realm before

- like probably sometime over the summer, but he hadn’t seen you in a while and he was starting to miss his favorite human :(

- not like he’d ever admit to that

- i don’t think luci would really be the type to wait until you summoned him for something, if he wants to make sure you’re okay, he’s gonna come see you lmao

- anyways

- lucifer had been staring out the window for quite a while- he had been doing paperwork, but somehow even when you were in a different realm, you managed to disrupt him

- he chuckled to himself at that thought, then sighed

- you had been rather difficult to focus around, always getting yourself into trouble

- luci couldn’t catch a break when you went to RAD

- he missed you

- a lot

- lucifer glanced back at his desk, where he had been working just moments before

- his eyes landed on an unsigned piece of paper that had your name on it

- you could come back home if he got you to sign it

- in truth, lucifer hadn’t really thought about finding a way to get you back to devildom. he certainly missed you, but the idea that he could actually arrange your return just hadn’t hit him yet

- until three days prior, when the sheet with your name on it appeared on his desk

- lucifer had a sneaking suspicion who put it there

- it was diavolo let’s be real

- the real mystery was why lucifer hadn’t gone to bring you the permission slip already

- he had waited- it had been three days, and he couldn’t make up his mind if he wanted to go give it to you

- lucifer didn’t want to put you in the position of having to choose between your life in the human realm or your life in devildom

- but he missed you

- and so, luci checked his watch to make sure it wasn’t three in the morning, then grabbed the permission slip before making his way outside

- it would be okay to be selfish, just this once, right?

- lucifer arrived at your home at four in the afternoon, you weren’t there

- so he found a way to open the door, bruv you hid the key under the doormat he didn’t really have a hard time lmao

- you walked into your bedroom at nearly quarter past four and immediately flopped onto your bed

- you didn’t even notice that lucifer was watching from your desk in the corner of your room

- he walked over to you and stared at you

- bro he literally didn’t say anything, he just waited ahaha thats not creepy

- lucifer crossed his arms over his chest and you finally looked up

- your eyes locked and you quietly asked, “luci?”

- lucifer narrowed his gaze at you and answered you with an, “mhm?”

- and then you freaked out, because honestly you half thought you were hallucinating or something, you jumped up to give lucifer a hug

- don’t get me wrong here, i have the intense feeling that lucifer doesn’t like hugs, but i also have the intense feeling that you and the occasional brother are the exception to that rule

- so

- when you clasped your arms around him, luci barely hesitated in returning the gesture

- he pulled you close, like he never wanted to let go again

- you eventually pulled back to ask why he had come to visit you

- it wasn’t like he didn’t visit often, just usually he had a reason to, even if it was just because he wanted to check up on you

- oh and all that nerve luci had about being selfish for once in his lifetime, yeah that was gone XD

- so your question kinda caught him off guard, like it just seemed like he forgot because for a hot sec he was just staring at you like, ‘uh huh im sorry what was that?’

- when he didn’t answer, you took the lead

- “do you wanna go to the fall festival with me?”, you asked, a bright grin spreading across your face

- and obviously luci knew what a fall festival was, he just didn’t really see your request coming

- but i mean he nodded so lmao

- pretty soon y’all were walking down the street, stopping at random carts at the festival to look at autumn themed stuff

- luci didn’t have human money, so every time he showed a vague interest in something and you offered to buy it for him, he would start squabbling about not wanting you to spend your money and blah blah

- you’d wait until he started walking away from the cart and then buy it for him anyways ;)

- somehow along the way, lucifer suggested you guys hold hands to stay together in the crowd uh huh yeah right lmao

- it was nearing the end of the festival when you remembered there was a park down the street, so you turned to luci and asked, “mind if i show you something?”

- he agreed and you guys started walking down the street, and lemme say the park kinda blew lucifer’s mind

- he was aware that leaves on trees changed colors depending on the season, but he wasn’t expecting how beautiful they were

- yellows, and oranges, some red, here and there

- and then he turned to look at you

- right at home, where you belonged

- wearing a shirt luci was pretty sure you stole from him, sipping warm apple cider

- the most beautiful thing in that entire park was you, he was sure of it

- lucifer felt the permission slip crinkle in his pocket, and he made up his mind about showing it to you

- he wasn’t going to

- “lucifer, are you okay?”, you sounded concerned, and you brought the hand that had been holding his own to brush a piece of his hair out of his face

- lucifer smiled at you, really smiled, and then replied, “yes, my dear, i’m quite all right”

Mammon

- ok so u guys remember when about two minutes ago i said lucifer wasn’t the type to wait until you summoned him

-well let’s give mammon some credit where it’s due

- he triedd to wait until you summoned him

- bb is many things but he is not patient XD

- ok lets get into it

- mammon was lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling

- he wasn’t really thinking about anything?? but he had been sitting there for like an hour lmao

- asmo and satan were standing in the doorway like, ‘is he okay? does he need a doctor?’

- since usually when people think of mammon they do not think, ah yes his normal activity of... doing nothing?

- then out of nowhere, mammon sat up and his brothers quickly fled the scene to avoid being caught lmao

- mammon got a big grin on his face, and he strut out of his room to go bother you

- he had gotten into the habit of going to find you whenever he was bored or lonely

- he arrived at your bedroom, and just before his fist hit the door to knock, he realized that you weren’t in there

- that you weren’t even in devildom

- mammon barely hesitated before spinning on his heel and heading to lucifer’s office

- he wasn’t even really conscious of what he was doing, but mammon knew why he was about to go ask to visit you

- he needed you, more than he ever truly realized

- when you arrived at your apartment that afternoon, you were greeted by your landlord in the lobby, he informed you that there was a strange man sitting outside of your apartment, who was insisting that he needed to see you

- you practically dropped the grocery bag you were holding, nodded to your landlord, thanked him, and then began sprinting towards your apartment

- mammon was sitting in front of your door, staring down at his hands, he didn’t even notice that you had walked up to him

- you immediately noticed something was off with him, so you dropped to your knees to bring him into a hug, “what’s wrong?”

- he smiled to himself as he wrapped his arms around you, “nuthin'”, now that you were with him

- after you both relished in being reunited, you hopped up and grinned at him, “you’ve got perfect timing!”

- you went to unlock your apartment door, and pointed at the grocery bag that you had abandoned on the floor- it was full of apples

- mammon stood and picked up the bag for you, “apples?”, he questioned, he wasn’t really familiar with human cuisine but it seemed a little bit strange to just buy a massive bag of apples

- “i’m gonna make desert!”, you opened the door and walked into your apartment, then closed the door behind mammon, “and you’re gonna help me”

- the smile you gave him made his heart melt

- he had missed you so much

- “pfffff, why would i do that?”, mammon’s cheeks were flushed red, he crossed his arms and looked away from you, trying to hide his embarrassment

- you were grabbing something out of your cabinet, it looked like sugar, “because”, you smiled at him

- “what kind of reason is that-”

- he helped you make the apple pie lmao

- mammon lifted a bite of the pie up to his face to look at it, “what even is this?”

- he wasn’t asking in a mean way, he just genuinely didn’t know what he was looking at lol

- “just try it! i promise you’ll like it!”, you told him from the kitchen, you were putting away ingredients

- mammon huffed, and you gave him an offer he couldn’t refuse

- “if you try it, i’ll give you a present”, he immediately tried the dessert

- greedy boi

- mammon thought it was delicious, but he wasn’t about to tell you that, “i guess it’s alright, now you’re gonna gimme something?”

- you nodded and walked over to where he was sitting, “hey, what’re ya doin’?”, you gave him a peck on the cheek

- mammon fell silent for a second, and then his face burst into flames as he watched you grin and return to putting things away

- and honestly that was the best gift you could’ve given him

Belphie

- ok so im sorry but belphie is definitely the type of demon to wait for you to summon him

- i don’t make the rules XD

- he is tired boy, and while he may love and care about you a lot, going to the human realm takes a lotttttttt of energy lmao

- like he has to walk allllllll the way to lucifer’s office and ugh just like no too much work

- so anyways lmao

- you hadn’t really planned on summoning bel at all

- you were lying in bed, a lazy morning like so many you had shared together

- this one was more beautiful than any you had ever experienced before

- the leaves were changing colors just outside your window, the sunlight of a late morning breaching your bedroom through the leaves, and hitting your face

- the weather had gotten colder recently, so you had added more blankets to your bed to accommodate

- or maybe you were trying to make up for the loss of your cuddle buddy

- either way, you were wrapped securely in blankets

- and everything seemed perfect

- except you were missing the best part of sleeping in, of staying in bed until the early afternoon

- you were missing your best friend

- so you decided to change that

- you barely had to think about how to summon him, one second, he wasn’t there, and the next, belphie was lying on top of you

- he was sleeping, as usual

- bel clutched you tight in his sleep, mumbling something about missing you under his breath

- he was dreaming about you

- because as little energy he had to go visit, that didn’t mean that belphie didn’t miss you

- in fact, nearly every day since you left devildom, bel had complained to beel about how cold his bed was

- bel had trouble sleeping for a while after you left, unbelievable, but true

- he had grown so accustomed to falling asleep every night to the sound of your breath, your scent, your warmth

- belphie opened his eyes mid afternoon, he realized why he had been sleeping so soundly when he glanced down to see who he was hugging

- your eyes were closed and he assumed you were asleep

- bel sighed blissfully and hugged you tighter, pressing a kiss to your head

- “i missed you”, he mumbled into your hair

- “i missed you too, bel”

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kakashifanrp · 3 years ago

Text

- Going Between Dimensions-

part 8 - Lets Go

Kakashi Hatake x reader/Y/N

Masterlist

It didn't take many minutes before the hospital started to bore you. With a sigh you focused your chakra to heal yourself, hoping to heal up the rest of the damage soo you could leave early. With a soft hum you felt your body getting better and better each secound. You made sure it didn't hurt to move before you slid out of bed carefully, taking your time before getting real balance again.

You looked over at your clothes before carefully walking over and got dressed in your normal attire. With quiet steps you sneak out of the room and thowards the exit, making sure Tsunade weren't around.. "Going somewhere?" the sudden voice made you yelp and almost trip, but luckily you were able to balance yourself against the wall, before looking back at the person behind you. "where did you even come from?"

"I was placed in charge of you weren't I?" Kakashi smiled as he looked at you. "sneaking out was one of the things I thought would happened, but you suprised me with how soon" You sighed and got up on your feets fully. "luckily it is only you, and by the way.. I don't need babysitting at the hospital" You looked away a bit ashamed. "well, I have to disagree, been in a coma for a month and you are up walking after using too much Chakra in just one day"

"Don't tell Tsunade, or I'll be right back in that bed with other injuries" you pointed at him. "Didn't she use to train you with jiaryia?" You just nodded. "hence why I know what I am talking about" You muttered and conntinued thowards the exit. Kakashi just started to walk next to you as he read his book. "If you make it home without falling, you might be ready to leave allready tomorrow" he said with a thoughtful voice. "I should be able to leave allready tonight with the healing technique I used, but I just wanted out of that room" You answered honsetly, with a hint of sarcasm.

"well, then we say that then. Meet me by the gates in 2 hours, and prepare for at least a month on the road" your eyes widen as you looked at him. "are you planning taking me outside the gates?" The ninja just shrugged. "You know I can't leave past the gates" You whispered seriously. "Well I am in charge now, it is either my wrath outside the gates or Lady Tsunade inside theese gates" You stopped in your tracks and started thinking about the options. Tsunade you knew how would react, Kakashi not that much... "soo that is a option?" This made the man stop in his tracks aswell and look at you dumbfolded.

"ok ok, I meet you at the gates, it was just a question" You looked down and started to walk again. You got to the reseption and signed the papers to leave before walking home. The fact that you were gonna go outside citylines was scary enough. Last time was with Jiaryia years ago, and before that was the war. Lord 3rd had made sure to set rules for you that way, soo noone would find out or anything would go wrong.. But now Tsunade was the new Hokage, meaning her words were the law..

You unlocked the door to your appartment and stepped inside. It was just as you had left it, clean, but lonely. You threw the regular handsigns. "summoning jutsu!" you placed your hand at the floor as the smoke cleared and revealed the black wolf infront of you. He was bigger than wolves in your dimension, and the white dot on his forhead was the most colourful on him. "Mirai" You greeted and smiled. "Been a while Y/N.. What do you need?" he shaked his fur a bit before sitting down. "well, I am going out for a month, and need help carry my stuff on the road" the wolf scoffed. "soo I am just a horse now? Thats how you treat the alpha?" he tilted his head making you throw your hands up. "Blame kakashi, he is the one wanting the training outside the village"

You took your time packing, as you placed it on the wolf. You also made sure to pack two futons, and foods to make on the road, before making two bentos for the road. "this should be enough.. Don't you think?" you smiled at Mirai. "says the one who is not carrying" he growled back. "some help can you give since I litterally just got out of the hospital" you rolled your eyes as you walked out with him and locked the door behind you before walking thowards the entrance. "I want to be somewhat prepared, who knows how it is out there" you exused as you walked next to him.

"well, next time I will bite" the alpha had a teasingly tone to his voice. "if you do I tell your wife" this made his ears lay back as he looked up at you. "playing the wife card, thats below the belt" You just laughed a bit in response. "well, I guess it is.. But soo are biting" the rest of the walk was quiet, as you tried not to meet the gazes from the villagers. The news had indeed broken out, making people look at you in a way you couldn't describe. "The cat is out of the bag, isn't it?" mirai muttered in a low voice as you stopped by the gate. "it is.. And I will not face it just yet"

You looked at the time, noticing you were on time. You looked around but didn't see kakashi anywhere. "Either I am early, or Naruto has been telling the truth" you frowned. You sat down on the bench and just waited as Mirai took a nap. It felt like it was gonna take forever, but suddely you heard the voice. "yo, sorry I am late.. Had some trouble finding everything" you just nodded, too tired to answer as you got up. "wait, you packed for a month in that tiny backpack?" you narrowed your brows. "well, yeah?"

"And you told me to be prepared" Mirai looked between you two and scoffed. "don't complain, you are not the one carrying" You just sighed and shaked your head. "well, Ok.. And it is not like it is heavy for you, Mirai..." How you thought using him was a good idea was still hard to answer. "I said for a month" kakashi looked at the wolf. "Yeah, it is for a month" This made him look at you in a way even you could not describe. "I am not sure I wanna know what you packed." he scratched himself behind the head nervously. "well, lets just say you most likely are gonna thank me in the end for bringing it"

With that said you just followed Kakashi down the road. Since he had planned this he must have a goal or a place he had thought of. It felt wierd being outside the village boarders, and away from home. You smiled a bit as you looked around and just enjoyed the quietness out in the nature. For hours you all walked siletly, until Kakashi started walking into to woods. You narrowed your brows a bit, since it was no road or anything there. "are you coming?" he stopped and looked back at you, making you just nod as you followed carefully.

"we are almost there" He let you know. That was good, since it started to get dark. Why he decided going into a random spot in the woods were beyond you.. "this is perfect" he stopped, making you look past him, noticing a good space for camping and training. "Have you been here before?" you looked at him carefully. "why do you wonder?" he walked over to a three and placed his bag down. "well, seems like a perfect place, that someone has to know about beforehand to find, rather than a random find" you lifted the bag off Mirai and smiled. "I take it from here, thank you" you petted his head.

"Good, I will go back to the pack then" you nodded as he dissapeared in a poof. "Soo, did you pack any tents?" you asked carefully, since you had none. "nope, I forgot" You just nodded and looked at the place. "Well, I can try something... But it has been years" You found the perfect spot and closed your eyes and you made the signs. "Woodstyle jutsu" You imagined a small cabin with room for two, as you focused. When you opened your eyes you smiled. "You can make a whole house now?" Kakashi walked up to you and looked at the small cabin.

"no, This is just as much as I can do.. At least with the chakra I have now... And abilities" You thought out loud. You couldn't use much, mostly water and fire.. But because of what kind of tailed beast you had, you were able to replicate some small elements from some kekkei genkais. "Well, it is enough for two" Kakashi added. "You just packed clothes and weapons didn't you?" you raised a brow, starting to figure out his little test. "yes" he answered plainly.

You got your bag and carried it inside, before placing the futons on each side of the little cabin, and made sure the cooking pit was far enough away from them. You turned the lamp on and placed it on the floor. "well, I got it covered this time, choose a side" you let him choose first, seeing if it could somewhat made this whole trip more comfortable. "I see now why you used your alpha" he walked inside and looked at the futons. "smart really" he placed his bag down and sat down. "I don't know much about trips like theese, soo I just tried to see what would come in handly" you sat down and sighed tiredly. "I made Bentos too, since I figured it would be late"

Kakashi narrowed his brows. "you did?" You just nodded and got them from your bag as you gave him one of them. "since you said a month, I had to use whats left of good things at home.." you smiled. "and besides, making just one is not something I am used too" Kakashi took the Bento and looked at you. "Soo you are the one making the lunches?" you could see the smile on his face. "sometimes, The only one that remembered to make his own was Sasuke after all, even though it was mostly tomatoes and rice for a long time" you opened the box and started to eat.

"I am not shocked that Sasuke left.. Even if I had hoped I had reached throught somewhat to him the past few years" you said quietly. "Don't blame yourself... He saw how fast Naruto got stronger, and felt he couldn't keep up.. They are rivals after all.." you narrowed your brows. "Yeah, they are" you conntinued to eat silently, having a bad feeling about how sasuke left and what would happen between them. You both ate silently before you got ready and went to bed, feeling it was time to rest up as much as you could.

Kakashi looked over when he heard a soft snore. He could see the situation bothered you more than you wanted to let him know. You had been looking after both of the boys for years, which was still something he found amusing. You had suprised him today, indeed. Getting out of the hospital, walking this whole way.. Using ninjutsu like this the same day after you woke up from a coma.. It was impressive. He knew the tailed beast inside you were to blame for it, but it made him more calm, knowing he could push you the way you needed from now until you had the controll needed.

#kakashi hatake #kakashi hatake x reader #kakashi sensei #kakashi hatake x you #kakashi #kakashi hatake fanfiction #Hatake #Hatake Kakashi #Naruto universe #naruto uzumaki #Naruto #kakashi xY/N #Going between dimensions

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neutron-stars-collision · 4 years ago

Text

The Art of Inversion

Neil x Reader

Chapter 12 - A Little Death

Masterlist; Chapter 11

Summary: You have to help Neil get back onto his feet after the tragic news. The lack of control and overwhelming grief lead to a few revelations...

Warnings: This is quite angsty still despite mentions of comfort; excessive drinking; self-harm (only implied); swearing

Author’s Notes: Okay so the length of this is beyond me and I’m sorry. This takes place just before Neil’s departure to Mumbai, film-wise. I really hope you’ll enjoy and please let me know what you think!

P.S. The referenced song is ‘A Little Death’ by The Neighbourhood

You did not check how long you were sat like that on the floor, cradling Neil and letting him cry and shake as though those were the only things he was capable of. Later you realised it was probably close to two hours as by the time you got up, it was nearly evening. But for those two hours, you just let him take his time. He did not speak, and you only occasionally whispered words of reassurance into his ear. You kept on drawing soothing circles into the skin of his back. After the first half-hour, you found a much-needed package of tissues and placed them in his lap. Despite his silence, you knew that your presence meant everything. And so you stayed, ignoring the rumbling in your stomach and tiredness. For the most part, you also ignored your own tears, fully aware that this was not about you, nor it should be.

Neil’s heart-wrenching sobs stopped after those two hours and were replaced with small gasps as though he was struggling for air. That is when you knew that the breakdown was past its culmination point. Slowly, you shifted so that you could look at him and gently tipped his chin. His eyes were puffy and red. The heart-breaking look he gave you was enough to nearly tip you off the edge. But you had to be strong. So you just took a deep breath and broke the silence:

“Don’t say you’re sorry for this because that’s the least I could have done for you” he nodded hesitantly upon seeing your determined gaze “I’m here for you, and I won’t make you talk about anything but sometimes it helps” you kissed him on the forehead.

When you met his gaze afterwards, you were struck by the admiration you saw there. He smiled at you slightly as though trying to convey something difficult to be expressed otherwise. You smiled back and took his hand in yours, giving it a comforting squeeze. After another beat, you got up and filled a glass of water for him. You knew well enough how something so simple is needed after crying for so long. You watched as he emptied the whole glass, placed it on the side, and took a deep breath. Then he spoke for the first time in two hours.

“I… I know that this isn’t what you’re used to from me” he shrugged helplessly.

“It doesn’t matter. You’re still someone I care about deeply” for a second you wondered why you felt like you wanted to say more.

But now was definitely not the time. So, instead, you added:

“Tell me what happened? If you’re ready, of course” you took his hand back and smiled when he entwined your fingers on reflex.

“When we arrived, he…” Neil swallowed hard “TP called us to his office and started explaining the next steps in the operation. He mentioned the bloody Mumbai and how I’m needed there tomorrow” he clenched his jaw, and you felt the tension rise.

You placed your free hand on his shoulder and squeezed it. Then you let your hand linger on the side of his neck. He sighed at your touch before resuming the story:

“Then he asked Ives to leave, and we talked a bit about everything… It was like the old days, you know” his brow furrowed “He mentioned how I’m probably his greatest friend in the whole world… How I helped him make Tenet into what it is now and how that wouldn’t be possible without my contribution” he exhaled shakily “We even talked about you” he glanced up and met your surprised look “Just about how it was seemingly fate that brought us together and how you fit in so well here, just taking everything in your stride” you smiled at the words shyly.

Even though it hurt you to know that he was not allowed the truth about your hiring. But maybe that was for the better, you mused.

“We talked like that for over an hour before he started acting strange… The things he said…” he seemed to gather words “It didn’t make much sense, but now I think I should’ve realised that he was…” he shuddered slightly “That it was supposed to be a goodbye” you saw the tears in his eyes again and shifted so that he could rest his forehead on your shoulder.

“Don’t blame yourself for not predicting what will happen. There’s no point in that” you leaned against the foot of the bed behind to be more comfortable.

“Maybe… But I felt something was wrong, so an hour after I left his quarters, I went back in” you tightened the hold on his hand, feeling the moment approach “The door was unlocked and he… he was just sat there” Neil brought his head up to look at you with teary eyes “I thought that he was fine but then… there was no pulse, and he wasn’t breathing” you felt him become breathless and gently urged him to slow down.

When he stopped hyperventilating, you let him lean on your shoulder again.

“He died alone… and I couldn’t do anything about it” you were not sure if you preferred the dejected tone or the former sobs “I was supposed to be his best friend, his partner”

“I think that he didn’t want to hurt you even more by making you watch it happen” you suggested, trying to make sense of the situation.

After the earlier text and what Neil told you begun to understand that TP intended to do it. To end his life. You just had to find a reason why.

“But I don’t understand why he did it” Neil’s voice broke through your contemplation “There was no reason to… He said himself that the plan is going well” you could hear anger creeping into his voice.

“I know… But maybe there was a reason…” you trailed off.

Neil watched you sharply, and you felt like if you said something wrong, you could risk losing him again. You had to tread softly.

“You once said that he never did things without reasons” you stumbled over the tense and frowned “And that’s the same feeling I got when I talked with him… Maybe he had to do that to avoid clashing with his former self in any way” you glanced at Neil to gauge his expression.

He was staring ahead into space with a serious look in his eyes, considering what you said.

“Is like… they mentioned during training that it would be bad if we ever came in contact with our other selves, inverted and so on” you kept on rambling, hoping it was helping somehow “So maybe he was afraid that his existence now would coincide with his younger self out there”

“There must have been better ways of dealing with that” you could tell that he was angry.

At himself. At TP. At the universe. And there was nothing you could do.

“Maybe that was all that he could think of”

You watched helplessly as he turned away from you, suddenly overcome with the emotions. You urged yourself to calm down. Maybe now was a good moment to mention the text…?

“I… I got a text message from him actually… as I was getting here in the cab” you took out your phone and gingerly offered it to him.

Neil took it without question and read over the recent message. Then you saw his eyes dart to other text conversations. But you did not mind. There was nothing to hide. He handed you back the phone without a further word. Then he got up and wandered over to one of the side cabinets.

Now that was concerning.

“Neil?” you scrambled after him and watched in horror as he hastily threw the cabinet contents onto the floor.

Finally, he found a whisky bottle hidden in the back and took a triumphant swing out of it. That sight made you shake off any paralysis you fell into. You crossed the room and snatched the bottle from him. The dark look he gave you was somewhat terrifying. He took a step closer as you took one back. Then he met your gaze challengingly as though doubting your ability to deny him anything. But this time, you were not going to give in. You shook your head and extended the gap.

“It helps with the pain” Neil shrugged helplessly.

“I know, but I think you’ve had enough for today” you gestured towards the empty bottles on the floor.

Thinking fast, you decided to act. You took out your phone and summoned Ives, asking him to come by Neil’s room in a moment. He responded instantly, evidently waiting on the news. Once that was dealt with, you went on to pick up the reminders of Neil’s state. When he saw you do that, you heard him speak:

“If you’re going to take away all the alcohol, then at least leave me the empty bottles” you turned to see an unfamiliar cynical smile “The glass might come handy” the emptiness in his eyes made the delivery worse.

You could only stare, processing the words. Suddenly everything felt too overwhelming.

“Neil…”

You stared at him pleadingly, hoping that maybe the look of panic in your eyes will help him realise what he said. You did not dare breathe until he somehow denied your worst anxieties about the situation. You watched as his face fell, then he covered it with his hands and breathed out a long exhale.

“Fuck. I’m sorry…” he stared at the floor “I didn’t mean it” he looked up at you remorsefully “I don’t know why I said that…”

“It’s okay. Just don’t ever scare me like that again” you gave him a weary smile.

Before you could say anything more, a knock on the door interrupted you. At Neil’s quizzical stare, you answered:

“Ives. I’ve asked him to come” you moved to the door, clutching all the bottles in your arms “Give me a second. And please don’t do anything stupid” you gave him a final warning look before you exited into the corridor.

Ives waited there with a worried expression on his face that seemed fixed at this point.

“Is he alright?” he asked, glancing at the door you closed.

You shuddered, thinking about the situation you just dealt with. But he need not know all that.

“He will be. For now, though…” you placed all the bottles of alcohol in his arms “Take these please and maybe get us a little something to eat from the kitchen… and tea” you tried to gather your thoughts.

“Okay” he nodded “If you need anything else, let me know”

“Thanks” you sighed, feeling the tiredness slowly descent upon your whole body.

But there was no time for that. Not yet.

“I’ll stay with him tonight” for once, Ives did not tease you about it, and you were grateful.

“His plane is at 3 pm tomorrow. Do you think that’s manageable?” he looked sceptical.

“It has to be” you smiled as Ives squeezed your shoulder reassuringly “I better go back to him. Just leave the food outside and knock on the door, please. Think it’s best if he doesn’t see anyone else tonight”

“Of course”

Without further word, you entered the room again and locked the door behind you. Neil was sat on the bed, anxiously picking at the skin around his fingernails. His hair was falling in his eyes, and he was staring at his lap, looking incredibly lost. It hurt you to see him like this. Ignoring the growing ache in your chest, you approached him slowly.

“I asked Ives to get us some food and tea because I think we both could do with that” you attempted a smile when he looked up “But before it arrives, you could shower and get changed… that could help a little”

You stood near enough to reach out and brush your fingers over his cheek tenderly. He seemed to consider your words for a moment before he leaned into your palm.

“Okay, I’ll try” you saw him hesitate before adding, “Thank you for putting up with this”

“Of course, that’s what friends are for” for some reason, the word felt wrong. And he noticed that too as you saw a small frown appear before he smiled at you and left for the bathroom.

When you heard him put the shower on, you started cleaning the room. You put away the pages that landed on the floor and made the bed. While you were smoothing the covers, your brain came up with a rather intrusive thought about how there you were, alone with Neil in his room. Again. And how that really did not fit in with the friendship story you desperately clung to. Because it was rather obvious that you would end up sharing the bed again. That was not something friends did this frequently. You did your best to shut that voice, but you could not deny the facts. So you just sighed and waited patiently for Neil to remerge.

Food arrived before he showed up, so you just set the coffee table. Once you were done, you heard the bathroom door creak. You turned to look at him and were taken aback by the casualness of his get-up. For the first time since you have met, he was not wearing suit trousers and a shirt, and instead had loose joggers and a t-shirt on. Despite the reality of the situation you found yourself in, you could not help but stare. He caught your look with a rather sheepish expression that you did not expect.

Interesting… But there was no time to dwell on it, so you just invited him to the table and encouraged him to have something from the selection Ives got you. Sometimes you would anxiously glance at him to see whether his mood has not changed for worse again. But he seemed fine; quiet and sombre but there with you, physically and mentally. And that was what mattered for the moment. So after you ate, you suggested settling in bed to rest. Neil agreed to that without any objections, giving you hope that maybe he was past his worst point.

After the initial awkwardness of the situation wore off, and you both relaxed onto the pillows, you asked:

“Should we put the tv on? Just have some music on or something…” you searched his eyes, trying not to get too conscious of the moment.

While this was certainly not the first time for you to casually share a bed, this time it somehow felt different. But you blamed that on the rollercoaster of emotions you both went through in the recent days.

“Yeah sure” Neil nodded and sent you a small smile.

This silent version of him was strange to get used to. It felt like he was holding back from you, and you were not sure whether you liked that. But there was nothing you could do apart from giving him unlimited space and time for expression should he need it. So, to provide a distraction, you put on the tv and quickly found a suitable music channel that was not blasting annoying pop songs. Silence fell on you again, as you let the music help you relax. You were not even paying attention to the exact songs played.

‘Make me feel like I am breathing Feel like I am human’

That is until you felt Neil shift, and you glanced in his direction only to meet his intense stare. The blue eyes were fixed on you with a hazy tint on the pupils. Before you could ask him anything, he moved closer. You were struck by the look of intoxication on his face. Somehow you knew that it was not due to alcohol. You felt slightly paralysed by the multitude of feelings that came then. Neil ended his scrutiny of your face to ask:

“Can I kiss you?” his voice was huskier than usual.

‘Touch me, yeah I want you to touch me there’

“Neil...” his name usually came quite handy in those speechless moments.

There were millions of reasons why you should not let him, but the look on his face and what he said next started breaking down the resolve.

“I know” he was looking at you with something close to pleading “I know this won’t fix anything, but if for at least a few seconds I can forget about this mess... then please give me that”

‘She sought death on a queen-sized bed And he had said, "Darling, your looks can kill, So now you're dead.’

He was close now. So close that all you had to do was lean in and kiss him softly. He sighed at the contact, and you brushed away the damp hair from his eyes. Then he deepened the kiss, pulling you closer with his hands on your waist. You were too lost in the moment to stop him when he urged you to lie down on the covers. Feeling your heart pound in your chest, you continued the kiss as he hovered over your body. His hands wandered until you felt him slide them underneath the fabric of your shirt. The warm, sudden touch on your bare skin acted as a warning. You gasped and broke the kiss, but not before he managed to bite on your lower lip, drawing blood. The desperate whine he let out made you open your eyes in a flash. The darkness of his eyes made you realise how close it got to the point of no return. That was enough to help you shake off the daze.

“Please, not like this” you pushed him away gently.

Your cheeks were burning as you came to realise what nearly happened. But once you met Neil’s gaze again, you could tell that he was still not quite aware of the reality. The passionate look in his eyes was replaced with something akin to begging.

“I just want to get lost in you” he murmured, still keeping his hands on the bare skin of your waist.

He ran his fingers along your sides, and you shivered. Inhaling slowly, you tried to calm down. Normally his words would have made you throw caution to the wind. But something like that could be disastrous right now.

“I don’t want it to happen like that” you pushed him off you completely and sat up, suddenly unable to look him in the eye.

“But you want it?” the hopeful tone made your insides flutter with thousands of anxious butterflies.

Fuck… Of course, he wouldn’t let it go easily.

“Ask me again when we’re both better” you hoped that you sounded surer than you felt.

You touched the split lip and wiped away the blood droplet with your thumb. That moment must have awakened something in Neil, as suddenly you heard him inhale sharply before he blurted:

“God, I’m so sorry” you looked up to see him staring at you in terror “I don’t know what overcame me… It’s not that I didn’t want to…” he was clearly struggling with whatever he wanted to say.

“It’s okay. I won’t hold you accountable for whatever happened… or almost happened” you gave him your most convincing smile despite feeling more confused than ever.

“But I… I want you to know I didn’t do that only because I’ve lost control” that was enough for you.

“Neil, it’s fine” you interrupted him “You don’t have to explain. It doesn’t matter” you forced another smile onto your face, praying he will drop the topic.

You could not even explain why it hurt so much. Maybe because you worried it was just him losing control? And that if there was someone else with him in your place, it would have happened anyway? But it felt selfish to have those thoughts after everything that happened, so you just tried to rake your brain for some other distraction. Somehow, this moment felt right to breach a topic that has been on your mind for the past few hours. Slowly, you turned to face Neil, who was evidently still pondering the situation while staring at the tv screen unseeingly.

“Neil…” he turned to you the instant you said his name “Before I came here, Ives told me about Alex…”

The moment you mentioned the name, you could see a plethora of emotions flash in Neil’s eyes. There was shock, sadness, and worry, among others. He visibly tensed and tried to school his features before responding.

“I- I would’ve told you” he was desperately searching for the right words “There just wasn’t a good moment, and I didn’t know if you…”

“No, no. Stop right there” you interrupted him, worried by the rambling “I didn’t mention that because I want an explanation or because it hurt me in any way” you met his gaze steadily “I only wanted you to know that I’ve been told. And that if you ever wanted to talk about it, I’m here” you tried your best to convey the support and love (?) into the long look you gave him.

“But… is-is this okay? Are you okay with that?” the doubt and genuine worry in his eyes made your heart clench painfully.

You wanted to hurt whoever made him question things like that.

“Of course it’s okay. You loved and lost him, and that’s the only thing I care about” tentatively, you reached out to take his hand again “It’s a vital part of your story, and I want to know you better” you smiled, seeing him relax slightly.

“Thank you… I’ll tell you one day, I promise” he brushed his thumb along your knuckles “But I think he’d like you”

You were not expecting that.

“Yeah?” you blushed slightly, suddenly flustered.

“He used to call me out on my bullshit too… and never fell for my charm too easily” he smiled fondly.

You liked the way pleasant memories seemed to light up his whole face.

“I can see some similarities then” you grinned shyly “To be fair, you need someone to keep you from getting too cocky” experimentally, you reached out to ruffle his hair.

If his blissful smile and the way he leaned into your touch were anything to go by, he did enjoy the gesture.

“I’m not sure I deserve you” he opened his eyes and looked at you with some kind of new emotion.

But before you could find any ways of answering that, he yawned. Once, then twice. The tiredness was finally catching up with him.

“Think you should try to get some sleep” upon his silent question, you added, “I’ll stay in case you need me”

For a second you wanted to offer that you will take the sofa, but somehow you knew that was not what he would have wanted. And neither did you if you were to be honest with yourself. So you just watched as he hesitantly started shifting on the bed, trying to find the most comfortable position. You switched off the forgotten tv and the lights and slowly laid down on the pillow. In the quiet, you could hear his shallow breaths. One look in his direction was enough to help you decide. You moved closer, closing the safety gap, and carefully placed your arm on his waist. After a beat, you curled up around him, with your head resting on his shoulder.

“Is this okay?” you asked, following the tense silence.

“Yeah… It’s just that I really don’t think I deserve any of this” you could hear the apprehension creeping back into his voice.

“You deserve much more” you pressed a small kiss to his neck “But let’s start with this. Good night, Neil”

“Good night…” he hesitated but then just exhaled, letting you hug him closer to your body.

*** The peace lasted only for the first two hours. After that, you were awoken by Neil tossing nervously. Before you could properly come to your senses, he let out a few soft whimpers. Shit. You shifted so that you were hovering over him and took a long look. His brow was furrowed, jaw clenched, and he was incredibly tense. Whatever nightmare he was having, it was escalating quickly. The next thing you knew, tears were falling down his cheeks, and he was mumbling something, sounding distressed. That was enough. You cupped his cheek, as softly as you could, and leaned in close:

“It’s just a dream” you kissed him on the forehead “Wake up love” you were not sure where the endearment came from.

You leaned back to see his eyes open in a blink. His gaze was unfocused, evidently still lost in the nightmarish world. Using the hand that was cupping his face, you brushed the stray hair away from his eyes. His breaths were fast yet shallow. Knowing the experience well, you immediately kicked into action.

“Neil, listen to me” you waited until his eyes locked with yours “It was just a dream. It’s all okay now” you placed your hand on his chest over the heart “You need to calm down”

“I can’t breathe” he choked out and sat up suddenly, nearly knocking you in the head.

“You’re panicking” you shifted so you could be sat in front of him.

The fact that you nearly climbed into his lap in the process had to be ignored for the time being. You took his hand in yours and placed it in the middle of your chest so he could feel the rising and falling with every breath you took. With your other hand, you tilted his chin so that he was forced to meet your gaze. His pupils were darkened by panic and adrenaline.

“Follow my breath” you made him match your breathing for a few cycles.

Once you heard his inhales and exhales elongate and level off, you let go of the hand you kept pressed to your chest. He kept it there for a moment longer, as though making sure you were really in front of him.

“I’m sorry” the heartbroken and tired look he gave you was enough to make your heart ache “You really shouldn’t have to deal with this mess”

“It was my conscious choice, and I would never leave you alone after something like this” you leaned in closer and pressed a small kiss to the corner of his mouth “Now, let’s try going back to sleep, shall we?”

This time he was holding on to you as though you were the only constant thing. With his arms around you and the warmth of his body, you could almost forget about the mess you both had to face in the morning. Before drifting off to sleep, you pondered his words again. More and more, you were sure that he got it the wrong way around. It was you who did not deserve someone like him. And you were afraid he would soon realise as much once the initial crush (or whatever it was) passed. But for now, you allowed yourself peace as you relaxed into his embrace and buried your face in his chest. If by some accident, the universe decided to be on your side, you would not complain.

*** In the morning, you were both awakened by Ives calling to make sure both of you were alive and awake. You had to blame the awkwardness that followed it on that very phone call. You only managed to shake it off when you sat down to the breakfast you brought from the canteen. You passed Neil coffee in silence, cursing your inability to hold a conversation after everything. But this time, he had some solutions. As your fingers brushed, he set down the coffee cup on the table and turned to you:

“I’m sorry about everything that I did and said yesterday” he glanced at your split lip “I wasn’t in control... and I don’t want you to be scared. I’d never do anything like that normally” he shifted nervously.

You knew an apology was coming, especially after seeing the way he looked at you ever since waking up. And while, admittedly, his behaviour worried you, you did not dare to think about how your ‘almost’ made you feel.

“I know, and I won’t judge you on how you acted last night” you put on your best smile, hoping to end the topic as quickly as possible.

But it was not meant to be as he clearly thought hard on what to say next. All you could do was wait and listen.

“I know that I crossed some lines” finally, he found the right words “And while I can’t deny that I was acting on my genuine desires…” he searched your eyes to make sure you understood “I won’t do that again because I respect your wishes to keep this strictly friendly”

Was this your imagination, or did he sound like he did not want to say that? If you were honest with yourself, that was not something you wanted to hear either. But now was most definitely not the time, so you just reached out to squeeze his knee reassuringly.

“Thank you, and don’t worry about it. We’re all good” he covered your hand with his and mirrored your smile.

Maybe all this confusion was worth it? After a short beat, you took your hand away and went back to breakfast. The silence was still there, but at least it was less awkward now. When you noticed him frown at the headache that was undoubtedly bothering him, you passed a painkiller. He smiled gratefully.

“So… when is my plane?” he asked after you both cleared the plates.

You could tell that he was dreading the trip. And it hurt to know that there was no way for you to help him.

“3 o’clock” you glanced at the watch “Which gives us about five hours to get you ready” you took in his sombre expression.

“I really don’t want to go” he met your gaze with emotionless eyes “It’s so fucking cruel to have me assist whoever the fuck that guy is when my best friend just killed himself. And I don’t even know why” the anger and hurt in his voice were somehow worse today.

Maybe it was because you could not blame it on his intoxication anymore.

“I know… And wish I had any answers, but I don’t know more than you do” you could only give him an apologetic half-smile “But I know that you have to be there to help… him”

Calling the younger version TP seemed somehow wrong. And you could only imagine how it must feel for Neil, on the eve of meeting that different version of his partner.

“He won’t even know who I am” there was a broken edge to his voice “How am I supposed to meet him and act as though he’s a stranger?”

“Alright, walk me through what you’ve been told, and I’ll try to help as best as I can”

“Sure you wouldn’t rather go back to sleep?” he eyed you sceptically “You must be tired, and it’s all my fault”

“Neil, stop” you have had enough of the self-depreciation “I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: I’m here for you” you took his hand in yours “And I wouldn’t rest anyway without knowing you’re well. So let’s go through the plan and then I’ll help you pack”

He only gaped at you with a dazed expression on his face. You wondered how someone so incredible could ever doubt their importance so much.

*** Surprisingly you managed to get Neil ready in time for the taxi departure. Together you planned the mission, made sure he had all the necessary information and contacts and was as mentally well as he could be after everything. When the time was near, Ives knocked on his door. This time, Neil let him in. You watched as the two men embraced tightly, sharing the trauma and sadness. Ives then took a step back and eyed Neil coolly.

“You did a good job” he flashed you a smile “He looks much better than I expected”

“Would you mind?” Neil looked at you nervously, and you laughed at the brief moment of lightness.

“Must say it wasn’t easy, but I did my best” to prove a point, you wandered over to Neil and smoothed his suit jacket.

After disagreeing over the wardrobe choices you managed to convince him to take a few linen suits and shirts for the warm weather in India. Now you were proud you succeeded. To be fair he looked good in anything, but there was something more intimate in the fact that you chose his outfits. But once again, you were brought to the present moment by Ives clearing his throat:

“The taxi is leaving in half-hour. I’ll leave you two now” he gave you a knowing smile and exited the room before you could roll your eyes at him.

Realising you still had your hand on Neil’s shoulder, you took a step back. He was watching you attentively with a small smile on his face. That probably explained Ives’ allusions…

“I won’t ask if you’re ready but… are you okay?” you met his gaze.

“As much as I can be, I suppose” he shrugged dejectedly “I really wish I could stay with you instead”

You saw his hand twitch at his side and decided to choose for him by taking it into yours, naturally entwining your fingers.

“Unfortunately, this time we can’t decide for ourselves. But remember that you can call me if you need help or just to talk. Don’t worry about the time zones, I’ll always pick up” you tried your best to show how you felt through the expression in your eyes.

But that was a dangerous game as soon enough you got lost in the blue of his eyes. As always.

“Thank you” he breathed out, looking at you with such tenderness that almost made you feel faint “Still don’t think I deserve you though” he grinned shyly.

“Oh you do, and I’ll keep on saying that till you believe it” you raised your joined hands to your lips and kissed his knuckles “While I enjoy this slightly subdued version of you…”

“What?” his affronted face made you laugh.

“You know very well what I meant” you smirked and let go of his hand, only to pull him in for an embrace.

It took him only a second to hug you back, with his arms wound tightly around your waist.

“You said we should hug more often so” you whispered into his ear and enjoyed the laugh it prompted “Hope this is good enough for you” you ran a hand down his back.

Then, upon a sudden thought, you pushed your hands underneath his suit jacket and splayed them on his back, relishing the feel of his skin through the shirt fabric. The only indication that he felt the difference was a sharp gasp he let out as he drew you even closer.

“More than that” he kissed the top of your head.

After at least two minutes more, you took a step back but still kept your hands on his waist.

“Please be safe out there. Don’t do anything stupid. And…” you shut his mouth with a hand upon seeing him protest “And don’t get too drunk before the meeting. I know that it will be hard, but that could only make you more likely to fuck up”

Before you could take your palm away, he placed a peck on your wrist, near the pulse point. The voice in the back of your head kept screaming about how this definitely was not something friends do. But you told it to kindly fuck off. At least for now.

“I can’t promise anything, but I’ll try” he flashed you a signature smile as though you could ever forget it “After all, I’m not the one to behave” proving the point, he brushed the pad of his thumb along your lower lip.

You inhaled sharply at the sensation. Looking questioningly into his eyes, you wondered whether he remembered about the earlier promise. But there was no time to find that out as sharp knocks interrupted you. It was time.

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