#i thought Grace was like 5ft or something | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

alastorswifee · 3 years ago

Note

Could I please request a Leo and raph (2007 version) with an s/o who is a 8ft tall goddess (kinda like she-ra)(apparently the turtles are like 6 feet tall👀)

Of course you can sugar!<3 Oh that sounds so interesting! @artsybri31

Each variation of the boys are different heights, like in 2003 and 2012 they’re around 5ft tall and I’m like HUH???

Bayverse made them 6ft tall and such which makes sense

I can’t see the boys being shorter than 5’11 lmao

Also I totally need friends on tumblr Fr fr y’all should like dm me💀

Leonardo

• when you two first met he was in astonishment at your height

• how was a human woman physically this tall?

• when he soon found out you were a goddess, he couldn’t wrap his mind around that

• a..goddess?

• he would have a lot of questions and would ask them but not to overwhelm you

• it probably explains how lovely you look, a sight to be seen

• you really do have the look of a goddess or angel, beautiful, graceful, elegant

• you two tend to hang out almost every night when you’re both not busy

• you two enjoy each other’s company

• it’s just comforting

• the more you two were around each other the more feelings grew between you two

• at first Leo had mistaken his romantic feelings towards you as admiration

• he’s never exactly fallen in love or gotten feelings for anyone before so he never exactly understood what it was like

• as time went on, he slowly started realizing..this isn’t just admiration

• he’d catch himself staring at you often, his mind going through thoughts such as

• her voice is so calming..

• beautiful as always..

• the moonlight really brings out her features better..

• he caught himself fantasizing and thinking about you a lot

• he eventually consulted with Splinter on his issues

• Splinter was surprised, his eldest son has met a woman that makes him feel warm inside

• after hearing it all Splinter came up with the most obvious answer

• “you are in love Leonardo”

• “I’m sorry?”

• “you’ve heard me my son”

• in…in love? Leo was taken back at the statement

• “but master-…father, are you sure?”

• of course he’s sure, Leonardo if you told anyone how you felt about her they would come up with the same conclusion

• Leo stood up and bowed to Splinter before sighing

• he doesn’t know how he would go about this, the feeling is eating him up inside and it makes him want to spiral

• if he doesn’t tell her, these emotions will bottle up inside him and eventually one day, burst

• if he does tell her, one of two things can happen..

• either he gets rejected and make their friendship awkward

• or she accepts his feelings and they become a couple

• he decided that speaking his mind was the best thing to do and if something such as feelings ruined your friendship then so be it

• he planned it all out in his head, making sure he said the right things and didn’t come across weird in any way..he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable

• he confessed to you on another night of your rooftop hangout sessions

• you were taken back, he actually..fancies you?

• that’s adorable..

• you should’ve seen Leonardo’s face when you returned the feelings

• “really?..”

• Leo ended up reporting back to splinter about how it went, splinter was happy for his son and told him that one day when Y/n and Leo were both ready, he’d like to meet her

• Leo nodded and left his father’s room, he was planning to have her meet his family he just didn’t know when would be the time

• as he’s heard from April and Casey, normally people would date for a while before introductions to the family

• you don’t want to introduce a lover to the family immediately and then something goes wrong and you break up

• the relationship was actually extremely healthy and you two were thriving together

• your first kiss was cute, you had to bend down to kiss him to which he got a bit embarrassed but he loved your height so it wasn’t too much of a bother

• eventually you did get to meet the family and they were all supportive of your relationship with Leo

• Raph was a card, definitely interesting but he didn’t come around as easily as the others

• deep down he was just making sure Leo doesn’t get hurt in any way

• eventually you were to gain Raph’s trust and he was a bit more friendly to you

• by friendly I mean he didn’t scoff at you, ignore you or make any rude remarks anymore

• Leo was glad his family were okay with you, that made it better and bonus! He can have you around in the lair now

• when it comes to intimacy tho, you two prefer to be in a secluded area such as his bedroom or the rooftops

• the brothers tend to accidentally interrupt or tease you two

• so intimacy was a more private thing

• eventually you got to meet casey and April and their reactions to you in general were interesting

• April was intrigued and astonished, she adored you

• Casey was in shock and disbelief, he thought he was seeing things

• they did warm up to you tho and treated you like family

• You would be observing the city and humans and a part of you would feel a bit insecure at your height

• you tend to see a lot of women being shorter than men or their lovers(it’s not always like that but you don’t always see a woman who’s taller than her lover)

• Leo would pick up on the insecurity and assure you that your height is what makes you special, it’s unique and one of your best traits

• even if you weren’t the same height as you were now he would still love you

• Leo tends to compliment you here and there, a little more than he usually does

• you don’t need to ask for reassurance because he always gives it to you

• there would be times where Leo would have April go out and get him flowers

• he likes doing little gestures such as that for you

• you found it so sweet

• he even gives you little trinkets and such that he tends to find

• you always keep them in a safe place so you don’t lose them

• dates for you two include movie nights, meditation sessions together, cuddling and reading, cooking together

• oh yeah did I mention?

• you two cook together at times, teaching each other recipes and trying new things together

• baking is another nice thing you two tend to do together

• when you’re finished making meals and desserts, you both would cuddle and eat

• he would take some back for his family too

• Mikey loves both of you guys’ cooking and even asked for you two to teach him

• leo tells you loads of stories of him and his brothers, he even told you stories of when he went away to train

• then when he told you about winters and the stone generals, you were astonished

• they got to witness something that was meant to be just a legend told to kids around a campfire

• you tend to jokingly call him short nicknames to tease him

• at first they used to make him give this ‘seriously?’ Look but now he got used to it and just chuckles

• “hey shorty” “hey hana”

• he often asks you to join him in meditation or to watch him train

• he even offers to let you train with him

• Leo was astonished at the thought of actually having a lover, he didn’t think the day would come where he’d find someone

• him and his brothers accepted that they wouldn’t and here you are proving him wrong

• he’s so thankful to have someone as amazing as you in his life..how did he get so lucky?

• you two had a conversation similar to this while cuddling one night

• “hey hana..”

“hm?”

“Thank you so much..”

“for what?”

“For loving me..being with me..making me happier than I’ve ever been..”

• you stared at him with soft eyes as your heart started to swell

• he’s such a sweetheart…

• you don’t know what you did to have such an amazing lover..

Raphael

• when you two first met he almost immediately gawked at your height

• he felt a bit intimidated because of that aspect but..how can someone who looks so beautiful and graceful, give off an intimidating vibe

• he’s fought tall enemies in his past but something felt different with you

• when you told him you were a goddess, he stared at you with this ‘yeah right’ look

• there’s no way, there’s no such thing

• when he saw your face, he realized you were serious and scoffed in response

• goddess yeah right..

• he wouldn’t exactly try to stick around you but he was intrigued by you so don’t be surprised when you two tend to ‘coincidentally’ stumble upon each other on rooftops

• eventually you two would end up doing more than just small talk

• you two got a bit closer and you got to know the turtle beyond his snarky remarks and passive aggressive attitude

• you were curious about the whole turtle thing so you decided to ask

• he did answer your questions, the story was definitely interesting

• he did have his fair share of questions for you and you happily cooperated by answering

• it took him a bit to process it but he got the gist of it

• you asked him if one day you could maybe meet his family, he said he’ll think about it

• as nice as you are to talk to, he doesn’t know your intentions or anything

• he still didn’t fully trust you

• what was a once in a while meet up became a nightly routine

• he found himself always thinking about you and longing to be around you

• it was sickening, what’s so special about you that makes him come back for more??

• he decided to talk to Casey about these stupid feelings

• Casey was amused at what he heard his best friend explain to him

• “raph..I think you might have a crush” cue Casey laughing to tease the turtle

• “a..crush? Yer messin with me”

• no raph, he’s not

• Raph would lay in bed thinking about this

• he’s never had a thing for anyone before..why her?

• what the hell did she do to make him feel so..vulnerable

• should he tell her? No…maybe? Fuck..

• he didn’t want to admit he had the hots for some chick he randomly met one night

• he already came to terms with the fact that him and his brothers won’t find love

• plus..she’s a beautiful goddess and he’s a…mutant turtle..

• there’s no way in hell he’d actually be her type

• this debate on telling her how he felt has been haunting the turtle for a literal month now

• Casey kept trying to encourage raph to tell her but the thought of rejection and ruining this nice thing he had going for him was huge

• he doesn’t know how she feels and how she’d react

• this shit was terrifying

• Casey brought it up to April and asked her to try and talk to him about it

• April invited Raph over and talked to him, she tried to encourage him and even gave him pointers on how to confess

• Raph was a bit stubborn during the whole thing but in the end, Casey and April were right..he can’t hide this forever

• it’s eating him up from the inside out and it’s fucking annoying

• he eventually manned up and told you to meet him on your rooftop in about an hour

• he needed time to think out what to say and how to say it

• he suddenly got this HUGE wave of anxiety rushing through him

• all that was circling his mind was ‘what if’

• he was so lost in his mental panic and thoughts, he didn’t realize you got up to the rooftop

• you tapped his shoulder and he jumped, quickly turning to face you

• “did I scare you?” You would tease him

• he would sigh a little and shake his head

• “can we talk?”

• he confessed, he messed up here and there by stumbling over words and finding it way harder to talk than when he planned it all in his head

• but in the end he told you how he felt and what do you do? You reciprocate your feelings

• raph paused and felt his heart beating out of his chest

• she..likes him back

• someone pinch him right now

• the biggest feeling of relief washed over him as he heard you return said feelings

• success!!

• whenever you two kiss you either bend down or lift him up

• he doesn’t want to admit he likes it but…he likes it

• he will have moments where he’s soft around you

• he tends to get defensive when you point it out tho

• one thing he loves and won’t admit is when you hug him from behind or surprise him with a kiss

• he ended up bringing you to meet his family eventually, splinter first of course

• the amount of teasing that Mikey planned to put Raph through is phenomenal

• Leo and Donnie were really nice to you and welcomed you to the family

• splinter approves of you and your relationship with the second oldest of his sons

• Mikey adores you! He tends to ask you to lift him up a lot, he wishes he were as tall as you were

• Raph gets jealous easily tho and would steal you away from his brothers

• if anyone accuses him of jealousy, he’ll shrug it off or get defensive

• you do call him short names here and there to tease him

• at first it got on his nerves a little but then he got used to it and just let you be

• date nights with him include nighttime strolls and such along rooftops, stargazing, cuddling and watching movies and nighttime rides

• raph loves taking you on motorcycle rides

• riding it makes him feel at ease and almost free

• when you’re with him while he’s driving, it’s like Heaven

• it’s like a fantasy of you two leaving everything behind and driving far far away to start a life of your own with each other

• oh you got to meet Casey and April!

• at first their reactions were a bit normal like “nice to meet you” “holy shit you’re tall..”

• when they found out you were the one raph had feelings for they instantly got more interested

• so this is the woman who caught raph’s heart

• something that you tend to notice was that when Raph gets tired(sleepy), he’s really honest

• you first realized when you two were cuddling on his bed and he started falling asleep slowly

• he started mumbling randomly, it was quiet but loud enough for you to make out what he’s saying

• “yer amazin..”

“ thank you for lovin me..”

• when you bring it up in the morning, he gives you a confused look

• he remembers what he said, he just felt too embarrassed to admit it

• he means it tho..he adores you with every bit of his being

#tmnt donatello #tmnt leonardo #tmnt raphael #tmnt michelangelo #tmnt #tmnt 2007 #tmnt headcanons #tmnt x reader #tmnt 2012 #tmnt 2014 #tmnt blog #tmnt fast forward #tmnt 2003 #tmnt fandom #bayverse tmnt #tmnt bayverse #tmnt 2k7

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thesmokingguns · 4 years ago

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Three Loves

Word Count: 1202

Pairings: Izzy Stradlin X OC, Randy Rhoads X OC

Warning: Mention of Death, Cheating

Request: “The reader was with randy rhoads until his passing and Izzy finds out about her past and they talk about randy and share stories “

They say in life you’ll have three loves.

The first one is the fairytale love which was my first boyfriend in high school. We were the two kids that seemed like they should be together. Popular and good looking. Our parents were friends and we all just fit together in that neat little package. Plans of getting married after HIgh School was in our future. My mother was so sure of the ring that would grace my finger that on weekends we’d go into London to browse shops for a potential China that I’d want to get.

It was on one of those trips that I met my second love, The Hard love. It seems foolish to call Randy my hard love. There was nothing hard about loving him, It came easy. From the moment that I literally walked into him when I ducked out of the shop we were hooked. He was a skinny blonde American and I was a short brunette from outside of London but it was like sparks and fireworks despite the chilly rain.

For a week I thought about the stranger that had bumped into me outside of the shop. I begged my mother to let me go to London by myself that weekend and she did. When we saw each other on the street we both had these stupid smiles on our face because we knew that we were looking for each other.

We talked all day in a little tea shop. Randy kept ordering more and more stuff so they wouldn’t kick us out but when there were no customers left we realized we needed to go. He walked me to the train station and before I got on the train he pulled me into a kiss that had my mind spinning on the ride back home. After church the next day I broke up with my boyfriend. I knew if I could feel like that after one kiss that I couldn't stay with him.

Two weeks later I had packed a bag and was moving into a small house with him. It was easy playing house, even though my parents didn’t approve of the man that was so much older than me.

Randy was my soulmate. Everything we did was together. It must have driven everyone nuts how we became a packaged deal but now knowing how our story was cut short I appreciate how deeply he loved me.

When we got to the US I loved laying in the California sun but he pushed me to go for a degree. He always wanted better for me and believed in me when I wasn’t sure of myself. I grew up with Randy. We had plans of being in school at UCLA, him for music studying classic guitar and me for business.

Randy insisted I stay in school and not come on tour. He wanted to make sure I was getting settled in. He sent me pictures of all the places that we were going to see together. All the places he wanted to take me. I have all the letters that he sent to me in a shoebox in my closet, with the polaroids and film.

I was in our apartment sitting on a stool in the kitchen well I worked on an assignment, the radio playing in the background when I heard them say they were going to play a block of Ozzy songs and they said you had died. A plane crash. But you hated flying so how could that be true. I was confused and scared. My mind is not making sense of anything. When Sharon called me an hour later to confirm it I had screamed before dropping the phone.

I mourned Randy all through college. Not thinking of anything but getting my degree and making something of myself for him. I wanted to do something to make him proud of me. We had been together for two and a half years and it felt cruel he had been taken from me. I didn't know how I was even going to heal. Some days now I get sad over it now thinking of what had been.

But I met my last love five years later.

When I met Izzy it was a set up. A blind date. A date that I did not want to be on but got set up on by a few friends. I walked into the restaurant ready to explain to the person that I was supposed to meet that this had been a terrible mistake and I wasn’t ready to date anyone, Being lead over to the table I sat across from a man who had me talking like we were old friends in under 20 minutes. Breaking down walls that had been built and crafted to protect me.

We had our second date the next day at a small sushi place where I drank Sake for the first tme and laughed loudly at how he ate with his fingers. It didn't feel like a date as much as it felt like we were just catching up as friends.

Our third date was two days later where we went to see a show together. Izzy towered over my 5ft nothing frame and picked me up on his shoulders to see the band playing. As he walked me home to my flat that night he asked me if he could kiss me. I hadn't been kissed by a man in years so instead of responding I had cried.

Izzy had got me inside and on the couch, getting a warm cup of tea in my hands and listening to my love story with Randy. I told him everything that I could think of. And he listened to it all and when I was calm he said something that made me know I’d love him.

“You don’t have to stop loving Randy, ever. But you deserve to be loved again.”

And I did love Izzy now.

It was a different love. We both were older and had been through different situations of love before. So we were ready for each other, comfortable in ourselves and our careers. It wasn’t all consuming but more like two puzzle pieces fitting together. Solid and right.

Izzy taught me how to have fun again. He took me to shady bars where we would play pool or darts and drink beer that tasted flat for a dollar. He made me stay up past my self imposed bedtime to go to parties with celebrities that he’d whisper gossip about. He liked to wake up early and drag me with him outside, wrapping me in his arms as we sat on lawn chairs watching the sun rise together.

He loved me for who I was and always gave me room to be that person. It was the type of love that we would always have because it was a love that was truly with my best friend.

I had been lucky to love three amazing people and have three amazing stories. But as I adjusted the white veil I knew Izzy was the one that I’d grow old with. He was my last love.

#izzy stradlin #Izzy straddlin request #izzy stradlin x reader #Izzy stradlin headcanon #izzy stradlin imagine #Imagine #GNR #Guns N Roses #Headcanon #Fan fic #80s rock #80s fanfic #80s #GNR imagine #Three loves #requesr

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shelbysdevil · 3 years ago

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The Muse

My portrayal of Tommy is canon divergent. I use the TV series backgrounds (excluding season 6 which I consider not canon), but I’m very flexible in portraying him.

Even if Tommy is a character from the Peaky Blinders verse, I love to play him in verses we create. That could be anything from a mafia, crime, assassin verse or whatever we may plot (or I choose from your verses). I will not play A/B/O dynamics.

We can change every verse even the peaky blinders timeline the way we like, this is the big advantage of fiction, that we are free in decisions we wanna make so all the following dates can be adjusted

𝐈. 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋.

𝒻𝓊𝓁𝓁 𝓃𝒶𝓂𝑒; Thomas Michael Shelby

𝓃𝒾𝒸𝓀𝓃𝒶𝓂𝑒𝓈; Tommy, Tom

𝒷𝒾𝓇𝓉𝒽𝒹𝒶��𝑒; 6th January 1890 (Capricorn)

𝒶𝑔𝑒; 39

𝒷𝒾𝓇𝓉𝒽𝓅𝓁𝒶𝒸𝑒; Birmingham

𝓁𝒶𝓃𝑔𝓊𝒶𝑔𝑒𝓈; English (Brummie), Romani

𝑜𝒸𝒸𝓊𝓅𝒶𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃; Business man, gangster

𝑔𝑒𝓃𝒹𝑒𝓇/𝓈𝑒𝓍; male, bisexual (but heavy lean to females)

𝐈𝐈. 𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄.

𝒽𝑒𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉; 5ft 8 / 173cm

𝓌𝑒𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉; 155lbs / 70kg

𝑒𝓎𝑒𝓈; blue

𝒽𝒶𝒾𝓇; dark brown, undercut

𝓅𝒾𝑒𝓇𝒸𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈/𝒿𝑒𝓌𝑒𝓁𝓇𝓎/𝓉𝒶𝓉𝓉𝑜𝑜𝓈/𝓈𝒸𝒶𝓇𝓈/𝑒𝓉𝒸;

Tattoos: sunray design on his left breast, military tattoo on his right bicep which included the word „Forrard“ a version of „Forward“, a rose interlaced with a horsehoe on his left bicep, TGC on his right arm (for Tommy, Grace, Charlie in case we include them)

Jewelry: a golden ring on his left little finger, a signet ring on his right ring finger, a pocket watch

Scars: a few all over his back and hips probably from shots and fights and the war

𝒸𝓁𝑜𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓅𝓇𝑒𝒻𝑒𝓇𝑒𝓃𝒸𝑒𝓈;

Black coats, suits, vests, white plaids, ties, black shoes, grey beret with razor blades

𝐈𝐈𝐈. 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘.

𝑜𝓋𝑒𝓇𝒶𝓁𝓁 𝓅𝑒𝓇𝓈𝑜𝓃𝒶𝓁𝒾𝓉𝓎;

Thomas is a very calm and observant man, showcasing his wit and ruthlessness to anyone who threatens him or his family. He is widely respected among his local community and is seen as a dangerous foe by his enemies. Under his leadership, the Peaky Blinders have risen from a local Birmingham street gang to a national enterprise that has gone toe-to-toe with the New York Mafia. His experiences in World War 1 have made him fearless and almost impossible to intimidate. Though being a ruthless gangster, Tommy is not heartless, as he has shown great remorse for his actions.

𝒶𝓉𝓉𝒾𝓉𝓊𝒹𝑒;

Calm, thoughtful, confident, charming

𝓅𝑜𝓈𝒾𝓉𝒾𝓋𝑒 𝓉𝓇𝒶𝒾𝓉𝓈;

♥︎ loyal

♥︎ smart

♥︎ observant

𝓃𝑒𝑔𝒶𝓉𝒾𝓋𝑒 𝓉𝓇𝒶𝒾𝓉𝓈;

♡ relentless

♡ possessive

♡ merciless

𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒𝓈;

♥︎ Family

♥︎ fine clothes and jewelry

♥︎ cigarettes

𝒹𝒾𝓈𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒𝓈;

♡ disloyalty

♡ disrespect

♡ establishment

𝑔𝑜𝑜𝒹 𝒽𝒶𝒷𝒾𝓉𝓈;

♥︎ ability to stay calm due to his emotional disconnection

♥︎ very protective over the ones he loves

♥︎ charming others (to get what he wants)

𝒷𝒶𝒹 𝒽𝒶𝒷𝒾𝓉𝓈;

♡ smoking

♡ seeming unattached or careless since he is very silent and not always responsive so it seems he’s not listening or doesn’t care

♡ being overprotective

𝒽𝑜𝒷𝒷𝒾𝑒𝓈;

♥︎ gambling

♥︎ horses

♥︎ dancing

𝒻𝑒𝒶𝓇𝓈;

♡ loosing loved ones

♡ falling in love

♡ disappointing his family

𝓈𝓉𝓇𝑒𝓃𝑔𝓉𝒽𝓈;

♥︎ Intelligence

♥︎ wit

♥︎ reading horses (and sometimes he’s able to command other animals or get in their head)

𝓌𝑒𝒶𝓀𝓃𝑒𝓈𝓈𝑒��;

♡ alcohol / drugs

♡ emotions

♡ love

𝐈𝐕. 𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐓𝐇.

𝓂𝑒𝓃𝓉𝒶𝓁 𝒽𝑒𝒶𝓁𝓉𝒽;

Tends to be depressed and suicidal, self harms with alcohol, drugs, recklessness towards himself, cigarettes

𝓂𝑒𝓃𝓉𝒶𝓁 𝒾𝓁𝓁𝓃𝑒𝓈𝓈𝑒𝓈;

PTSD, Depression

𝒶𝒹𝒹𝒾𝒸𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃𝓈;

Smoking, drinking, sometimes drugs

𝑜𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇;

Always fiddles with something (that’s why he smokes so much so he had something to hold onto, otherwise he would play with his rings)

𝐕. 𝐑𝐄𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏𝐒.

𝓂𝑜𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇; Mrs Shelby; deceased

𝒻𝒶𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇; Arthur Shelby Jr.

𝓈𝒾𝒷𝓁𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈; Arthur, John, Finn, Ada

𝒻𝓇𝒾𝑒𝓃𝒹𝓈; Lizzie, Freddie, Danny

𝑜𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇 𝒻𝒶𝓂𝒾𝓁𝓎 𝓂𝑒𝓂𝒷𝑒𝓇𝓈; Aunt: Polly Gray

𝐕𝐈. 𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘.

𝒷𝒶𝒸𝓀𝑔𝓇𝑜𝓊𝓃𝒹;

Canon verse from the series mainly

𝐕𝐈𝐈. 𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐂.

𝒻𝒶𝒸𝑒𝒸𝓁𝒶𝒾𝓂;

Cillian Murphy

None of the used pictures on here are mine, so if you see anything that might be yours and you demand a credit, please let me know!

#;the muse #tommy shelby rp #thomas shelby rp #peaky blinders rp #canon character #roleplay #independent roleplay

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aricazorel · 3 years ago

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OC Questionnaire

I was tagged by @enasallavellan Thank You! This was really fun!

Answering for my Dragon Age: Inquisition OC from my ongoing fanfic series on AO3.

(This got a little long so more below the cut)

THE BASICS:

Character’s name:

Anyssa McBride

Role in story:

Inquisition Historian from Earth (MGIT story; Anchor series on AO3)

Physical description:

5ft 6in, wavy honey blonde hair that currently reaches midway down her back (on Earth it was roughly shoulder length, ice blue eyes

Age:

She is 26 when she arrives in Thedas and currently is 29 in my story. (She will be 30 shortly after the events set in Trespasser)

MBTI/Enneagram Personality Type:

I took two different tests when I created Anyssa and both labeled her as ‘ENFJ’—the giver or mentor. (I would argue that while she tested as an extrovert she does appreciate introvertedness and the current situation dictates which she chooses to be)

INTERNAL LIFE:

What is their greatest fear?

Being used and taken for granted

Inner motivation:

To help others and support them, hoping to see them happy

Kryptonite:

Having her self-doubts realized

What is their misbelief about the world?

Anyssa believes that everyone wants help and they just do not know how to ask for it. Unfortunately she has found out that some people just don’t want help no matter how sincere you are.

Lesson they need to learn:

She needs to learn to trust herself. Those around her know of her past on Earth and have made efforts to help her learn that. But no matter what, she still struggles with it, sometimes to the point of questioning whether she deserves the life she now has.

What is the best thing in their life?

A group of people who love and care for her. In other words, Friends

What is the worst thing in their life?

A history on Earth of those that were supposed to care for her, using her instead…and abuse. After her parents died in a car crash during her junior in high school, she went to live with her aunt and uncle who proceeded to steal the money her parents had left her for college. Later she entered into a relationship with a seemingly charming man named Bryan who turned out to be emotionally and physically abusive towards her. After two years she worked up the courage to attempt to leave. After multiple tries, she finally succeeded only to end up in Thedas.

What do they most often look down on people for?

Taking advantage of others, being cruel/mean to others, judging other without taking into consideration what they have been through

What makes his/her/their heart feel alive?

Writing stories based on those around her, sharing her knowledge with people who appreciate it, learning about the cultures and people around her, horseback riding, rock climbing, exploring the tunnels under Skyhold

What makes them feel loved, and who was the last person to make them feel that way?

The people she had come to know as friends in Thedas. They have become her ‘found’ family—something she thought to never have again. The last person to make her feel that way is Cullen. He always knows the right thing to say or the right thing to do to let her know she is loved.

Top three things they value most in life?

Acceptance by others, support of others, friendship

EXTERNAL LIFE:

Is there an object they can’t bear to part with and why?

No personal items from Earth made it through the rift to Thedas with Anyssa. What she has come to cherish most is the small items her friends have given her in an effort to make she feel at home. Most notably is the Cullen’s coin she wears around her neck and a stuffed dragon named Puff he gave her before they ever began their relationship.

Describe a typical outfit for them from top to bottom.

For her normal duties as historian, she wears simple dresses common to Ferelden fashion as well as blouses and skirts. For more formal affaires she wears one the many dresses Vivienne had made for her that incorporates Orlesian, Fereldan, and Free Marcher styles. For when she explores the caverns below Skyhold or travels away from the keep, she prefers typical traveling clothes and pants over skirts.

Most of her clothes are shades of light blue which Cullen said matches her eyes. She also wears purple in various shades being as it is her favorite color.

What names or nicknames have they been called throughout their life?

Nyssa and Nys. Most of her friends have called her Nyssa at some point in her life. Nys is only used by Cullen. He has also been known to use the endearment “sweetling” after they began their relationship.

What is their method of manipulation?

Anyssa isn’t known for manipulating anyone out right. Most of the time, she will rephrase an argument point to make the other party believe they are making a choice freely. This is not something she employs with people she is friends with or allied with. It a trick she holds in reserve when dealing with unreasonable nobles, especially when she has been called on to aid Josephine.

However, she is not above manipulating Cullen to either ensure he does not take on too much or because she would like some private time with him. A bright smile and repeatedly saying ‘please’ usually works. The first time Cullen realized he could not say no to her was when she asked to see a real dragon. In the end, he gifted her a stuffed dragon she named Puff and then took her to Crestwood to see the dragon there (from a safe distance of course.)

Describe their daily routine.

Anyssa’s routine various from day to day depending on the work load and what other duties she’s been tasked with. Normally, she holds any meetings in the morning and she makes time to watch the sparring ring from the battlements (especially if Cullen is participating). After that she may conduct any research she can on historical items the Inquisition has acquired and writes any correspondence to allies that might have knowledge she does not. She frequently checks in with Dagna in the Undercroft and reports the archanist’s progress to those interested. (Most people tend to shy away from Dagna but Anyssa finds her fascinating and funny.) She often finds Cullen for lunch and reminds him to eat. Her afternoons might involve cataloging artfifacts and tomes recovered in the hopes of returning them to their proper owners. If time allows, she can be found exploring and mapping the caverns and tunnels below Skyhold much to Cullen’s dismay. Throughout her day though, Anyssa has learned to work in time for her friends as well as for herself (though it has been a struggle in learning to do so)

Their go-to cure for a bad day?

There a several different answers to this. One is Sera. Both Anyssa and the Red Jenny enjoy pranks. Frequently Anyssa may provide the idea or inspiration while Sera carries out the actual pranks itself.

Horseback riding alone or with Cullen.

Playing Wicked Grace with Varric and/or Bull, Blackwall, and the Chargers. (Drinking and storytelling maybe involved.)

Reading a book with Cullen.

GOALS:

How are they dissatisfied with their life?

Overall, Anyssa is exceedingly happy with her life in Thedas. It is something she never thought to have again after her parents death and the abusive relationship with her ex-boyfriend. She had friends, a family, a career, someone to love her (whom she loves with all her heart), and a new purpose in life. If there was one thing that she would be dissatisfied with, it would be the knowledge that despite all the good the Inquisition did there will still be people who still cling to the old ways. In other words, she wishes that everyone could find the acceptance and support she has found but knows that the old ways are easier for some to hold onto instead of embracing change.

What would bring them true happiness or contentment?

Finally realizing that she did nothing wrong and it was not her fault that anyone left her or treated her poorly. Those were decisions made by others and she is not responsible for that. Cullen has aided her greatly in making progress with this but it is a struggle she will always have. But then again she has found a support network and love, so in the end she is already happy/content.

What definitive step could they take to turn their dream into a reality?

This is something Anyssa initially struggled with. Cullen was the first to admit he loved her and it took seven months before she could say it back. After that, they talked circles around making concrete plans about their future. Finally, they decided to just make the plans as they went (making a list of things they wanted.) When Cullen decided to start a Templar sanctuary after retirement, that solidified things. Now all that remains to be done is see the Inquisition through to the end and then begin their future.

How has their fear kept them from taking this action already?

Her past relationship colored how she reacted to Cullen’s affections and made her question whether she could trust his words. (she learned to trust his actions first and then his words)

Haven and Skyhold were the places she first felt welcomed in Thedas, like she had a real home again.

She questioned whether she could be lead historian in a world she knew nothing of, questioning even the skills she had learned on Earth.

How do they feel they can accomplish their goal while still steering clear of the thing they are afraid of?

Anyssa has decided to focus on what she can do in the present and prepare for the future she wants. She has begun making plans for how to transfer her skills to a slightly different career path aft her the conclusion of the Inquisition and has told Cullen she will support his dream of a Templar sanctuary while pursuing her own path. To ensure that happens, she will more than likely rely on Cullen for reminders to believe in herself and trust that she knows what she is doing. In the end, it all comes down to trust for Anyssa and her Commander is the one she trusts the most.

Tagging @commanderadorkable, @shadoedseptmber, @raflesia65, @noire-pandora and anyone else who would like to play! No pressure, just fun!

#oc questions #dragon age #anyssa mcbride #anchor

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sweethurtss · 4 years ago

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Name: Kaia . Gender: two-spirit / genderfluid . I use she/they/he pronouns (leaning towards they and he lately though) Height: 5ft 6in Sexuality: Bisexual as heck Favorite animal: Otters, they’re so cute and fluffy Dream job: idk, a dream job sounds way too fanciful. maybe a scriptwriter or something to that effect, I like the idea of writing more inclusive stories (primarily those that don’t rely on the appropriation of Native American cultures) When I made this blog: this blog was made around may 2020 Reason for url: all my muses are graced with love, either by myself or the love they give other people. and then I just got attached to the url Followers: 190+, which is a lot higher than I thought I could reach on this blog. I am. overwhelmed and incredibly flattered for everyone who followed me.

Tagged by : @envyire (thank you!!) Tagging: anyone who would like to do this ♡

#ooc * mun posting !#dash games * just for fun !

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packetofjambagels · 6 years ago

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A ‘Get to know me’

I was tagged by @shipperpenguin. Thank you ever so much!!!

Name: Grace

Nickname: so many... Gracie, Grace-opher , GMC, Mollusc (was a weird one from when I was a kid) (edit: and of course, Gravie and Robin Hood!! How did i forget them?)

Star Sign: Pisces (which I can never spell)

Height: 5ft 7in. What’s that in cms? Like 175?

Sexuality: bi bi baby, baby good bi

Hogwarts House: Hufflepuff

Dream trip: SO MANY! Pretty much anywhere. Currently craving to see the streets of Mexico though, and god I'd love to see the Nothern Lights before I die.

Average sleep: Pfft, errrr 8 hours max. But usually more like 6

Why I made this Tumblr: errrrr. I think it was where all the fandoms were? Or many all the text posts on Instagram came from here so I thought I’d give it a gander?

Cats or Dogs: Both. Both is good.

When did I make my blog: errrr five (?) years ago

Reason for my URL: Okay, there is actually a story. So me and my friend were walking through a store and we saw this group of girls who she had recently fallen out with. So she said to pretend we were in a deep conversation when we walked past them. So out of panic, we passed and I said: “Do you think Bagel is a sexually provocative word?”. I don't think this was what she’d wanted me to say. But engaging none the less. So she said yes; encouraging a run of bagel-related gifs, pictures and giggles. And then saying adding the jam because that just added to the fun. I then taught it to her in sign language so across rooms we’d be able to crack one another up... so... yeah. Long story short, a packet of jam bagels. filled with sex.

5 things you’ll find in my room

1. my bed I guess

2. my books (currently at 350+ I think)

3. boxes of small trinkets I have kept

4. my clothes?

5. folders and folders of story notes and ideas

5 things that make me happy

1. watching people speak about things they enjoy

2. remaining with people I did and did not share memories with

3. getting invested. in either a book, tv series, or something I’m researching at that time

4. a good playlist

5. spreadsheets

5 things I’m currently into

1. Latin American culture

2. sign language (I mean I am never not)

3. cultural death traditions

4. how [insert any basic concept] has changed over time

5. flags!!

5 things on my to-do list

1. flesh out my CV

2. read more! (always)

3. take the three boxes of books in my room to a charity shop

4. get my book actually published this year

5. go to work tomorrow

Tagging time!

@ambs-writes @estamos-destinadas @nymeria-rhoynar @zags96 cause I found it very fun :)

#get to know me #personal #anecdote

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paopukairi · 6 years ago

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Agents of Eos; Chapter 1

I wanna thank @birdsandivory on Tumblr for answering my ask about head canons for a Spy AU. After reading their Crime AU fanfic, I thought I wanted to write a fanfic for a Spy AU. If you haven’t read it by now, I suggest you read the prelude for We Were Gods. Kas is such an amazing writer, so please check their content out, if you love Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy or Voltron, then I recommend you follow their blog! So without further ado;

Rating: Mature – Explicit

Trigger Warnings: NSFW, graphic violence, major/minor character deaths, self-harm, abuse and mental illnesses.

Pairings: Gladio x OC, Ignis x OC, Noctis x Luna, Prompto x Nyx, Prompto x Cindy, Cor x Loqi, slight Gladio x Aranea

Summary:

They were only children when their father was killed by the mysterious yet merciless man clad in armour. The youngest of the Caelum family, Bellatrix had to witness her father’s death in front of her and it has scarred her ever since. Things weren’t the same between her and Noctis ever since, as he decided to send her away from the Citadel and she never heard from him or saw him again for the next 11 years.

As years went by, the respect and admiration she had for her brother turned into resentment and loathing. Her vengeance on the man who killed her father kept her going through the years and she decided to join Eos’s Secret Agency Service to hunt him down. But as the years passed by, there were more and more crimes disrupting the city of Insomnia which all sounded suspicious. Drug smuggling, human trafficking, kidnapping and homicides were increasing at an alarming rate especially within the city.

It’s up to the Agents of Eos to find out why this is all happening, especially with the suspicion that there is an undercover agent working within the agency against them. Even with so much chaos and havoc going around, Bella’s old crush Gladiolus starts to fall in love with her. But can she really trust him? Especially after all the conflict she went through with her own brother, could she really trust a man to love her?

Both Noctis and Bella are still trying to find out information on who killed their father. The youngest member of the Lucis Caelum family has willing to put aside her hatred for her brother to work alongside him. Will they finally be able to patch things up with each other before their father’s murderer strikes either of them again? It won’t be as easy as they think but their friends and the Agents of Eos are willing to help them with whatever problem that comes their way.

Agents of Eos

Chapter 1: Homecoming

The day had finally come for her to return to the Citadel. A day the young woman had waited for since she was 14 years old. A week after her 10th birthday which was the same day she lost her father, her brother Noctis decided to send Bellatrix away from the Citadel, for her own safety. It took her only 6 months of not seeing her only family, for her to completely hate him, for her to come to the conclusion that he just didn’t care for her. 6 months of sadness, grief and anger towards him was enough for her to hate him. And after those 6 months, when he wanted to see her again, she refused to see him. As the years went by, her hatred for him only grew stronger. He never called her nor texted her. Whenever her guardian, Cor Leonis urged her to patch things up with her brother, she refused, telling him that it was Noctis’s fault so he should apologise to her.

A 20 year old Bella stood outside her empty apartment in the outskirts of Insomnia, waiting for her brother to pick her up. It was a cold spring morning and the sun had risen over the foggy horizon to the east, as the radiance of dawn stretched across everything she could see. The young woman wore a dark red long sleeved top with a v-neckline, black leather skirt, black knee socks and ankle suede heeled boots and a brown long coat. Her black hair was tied up in half up half down hairstyle with her middle parting bangs left out to frame her face. She wore minimal makeup, some mascara on, concealer to hide those dark circles and burgundy lipstick. Even without makeup, she still looked good. Her fair skin with a yellow undertone was clear most days with the occasional spots here and there, she had high chiselled cheekbones, a small button nose, rosy full lips and forest green almond shaped eyes.

As Bella waited for the car to arrive and pick her up, she felt her heart pounding in her chest. Noctis was going to be the one to pick her up, Cor said so himself. She would fiddle with the bottom of her top or on a cigarette and not smoke it because of the anxiety that was getting to her. 11 years of not seeing him and she felt like a complete mess. Of course she wasn’t ready to see him and to be frank she had no idea what to do when they would reunite. When she heard that her brother, the head of the Lucis group was going to pick her up, she felt overjoyed but she was dreading it.

Then she remembered all the times he broke his promises to her; all those birthday visits Cor told her about never happened. Anyone would think that her only family would visit her on her birthday and death anniversary of their father; but this was Noctis Lucis Caelum they were thinking of. To everyone in Lucis, he was a kind, strong and trustworthy person. But to her, he was insensitive, weak and unfaithful. In her opinion, he was a horrible executive director; if he couldn’t take care of or love his sister, then how could he have the capacity to do so for his own clients or companies?

A black car with tinted windows had parked up outside and the lights flashed; it was for her. The time had come for her to come face to face with her brother after so long. To finally see him with her own eyes instead of just looking at pictures of him from family albums or newspapers. She turned to her apartment and sighed whilst kissing the wall; she was gonna miss this place. She’s lived here since she was 15 years old; at first she hated it but with time she grew to love it. Though small, it was the only place she could be by herself with her thoughts, the only other place she felt at home.

The young woman heard the 2 car doors open and close and turned around to see Clarus and Cor getting out of the car. Both men wore warm clothing, Clarus wearing a grey coat and a black suit with his friend wore the same but a black coat. The older man held a brown bag and a coffee holder with just one large cup of a hot beverage in it. When Bella saw that it wasn’t Noctis, she felt angered yet relieved. Nonetheless, a bright smile lit up her face as she ran towards them, closing the gate behind her.

Cor was the first to be pounced on by Bella. She jumped onto him, wrapping her arms around his neck and hugging him. The young woman was 5ft 3in and anyone could mistake her for his child with the way she acted towards him. The middle aged man took a step back but returned the hug with a gentle smile gracing his lips.

However, after taking a small whiff, she quickly pulled away whilst hopping off him. The young woman pouted with squinted eyes as she glared up at her guardian; an intimidating yet less serious glare.

“You’ve been smoking, haven’t you?” She asked in her usual honeyed and husky voice.

“I know you have.” The dark haired man countered with darting eyes.

“The smell is coming from you, Uncle Cor.” Bella crossed her arms.

“Just admit that you were both smoking.” Clarus butted in.

“Good morning, Mr Amicitia.” She smiled at him and the sides of his mouth perked up as he bowed his head respectfully.

“Good morning, little warrior.” Every time he called her by that name, she really loved it. He’s been calling her that since she was a child and knew it was because of her name and height; though she hated when people would comment about her height, she didn’t mind Cor or Clarus calling her little because she knew it was endearing. “Come on, get into the car. It’s chilly out here.”

Cor opened the door for her and no one was inside, so he really didn’t show up. Bellatrix got into the car and put her seatbelt on.

“We got you something little.” Clarus gave her the Starbucks bag and the large cup. Just as she opened the bag, she could smell the tantalising scent of a cinnamon swirl pastry. “I got you their new Maple Latte. Iris loves it so I think you will too.” She smiled at him with sparkling eyes.

“Thanks.” He nodded and closed the door. The two men got into the car with Cor getting in the driver’s seat and Clarus right next to him.

“You ready back there?” Cor asked as he switched on the car.

“Yes.” She replied and he reversed out of the parking space.

When they hit the road, Bella took out the hot steamy pastry from the bag and began eating it. Clarus noticed her eating and he smiled as it reminded him of a sweeter time.

“I remember whenever you would get nightmares as a child, your father and I would drive you and Gladio to get a pretzel at a Mr Pretzel vendor on the other side of the city.” She too remembered that time and smiled with her cheeks puffed up like a chipmunk. She swallowed whatever pastry she had in her mouth and turned to Cor.

“Cor takes me for pretzels from time to time.” She chirped and drank her latte.

“Pretzels, ice cream, doughnuts, cake.” Cor listed. “At times she sneaks out to get junk food or actual meals.”

“I hope she doesn’t order pizza at 2am like my kids.” The bald man stated and she blushed.

“Haha, you got me.” She scratched the back of her neck nervously. The mood in the car when Clarus mentioned something that had him wondering for years.

“Bella, I’d like to know, and I don’t mean this in a rude manner, just out of curiosity why you don’t speak to my son anymore?” He asked.

Bella’s eyes sparkled with tears as she lowered her gaze to her feet. She felt as if someone was strangling her with a tight grip and found it difficult to swallow the ball of saliva in her throat. Her heart ached incredibly when she thought about her old best friend, how close they were when they were younger…and then when that happened.

“I must confess, I had a crush on him since I was a 10 year old girl and realised I loved him when I was 15. He knew about my feelings until one day, I saw him…with 2 women entering a club.” They both could hear the pain in her voice when she spoke and Clarus shut his eyes whilst shaking his head. “I couldn’t see him the same way ever since. I thought I was able to see past that, but I just couldn’t. It hurt me to even speak to him in such a situation.”

“Forgive me, Bella.” Clarus apologised from the bottom of her heart but she shook her head with furrowed eyebrows.

“You shouldn’t apologise on behalf of him.” She reassured him and placed the empty cup in a cup holder between the passenger and driver seat.

“I should have taught him better.” He murmured. Bella placed her hand on his shoulder and she turned to him. He saw that gentle gaze and her warm smile and it was as if that was enough to make him feel better.

“Don’t blame yourself. He was old enough, so he should have acted on it himself.” She reassured him. “By the way, wasn’t my dear brother meant to pick me up instead?”

A deep sigh came from Cor whose eyes were focused on the road. Her brother had a busy night and he went to bed at 2am. It was understandable he was tired, but he should have kept this promise, instead of breaking it like always. It was good for what little relationship the Caelum siblings had. The older man remembered the night before when Noctis begged for him to pick her up and whined that he would be too tired.

“Bella, your brother had a long night. But that doesn’t excuse him for his mistake.” Clarus stated.

“What do you expect from someone like him anyway?” She hissed whilst crossing her arms. “Always breaking his promises to the only family he has, I’m not surprised.” She whispered the last 3 words with so much hate. “He doesn’t even care.”

“You don’t know that.” Cor tried to defend the young man as much as he could but would fail to do so. “He does care for you, you’re his sister.”

“I sure don’t feel like one. He’s never shown he’s cared about me, ever.” She was slowly getting more and more upset with tears brimming in her eyes. She was finally gonna voice out the thought she had since she was 16 and looked up at Cor with gripped eyes. “…Am I even his biological sister?!”

Suddenly, Cor pushed on the brakes and the car shook a little; the cars behind them were far away thankfully and saw this, but it was still reckless. If Clarus wasn’t shocked by that very question, he would have scolded Cor for doing such a dangerous this, especially with Bella in the car. But he turned to her with wide eyes, his lips parted and raised eyebrows. Cor on the other hand was glaring at the driving wheel as he gripped onto it.

“Why would you even think such a thing?” He growled and the young woman’s gaze dropped.

“With the way he’s treated me, do you blame me?” She asked.

“Even so, don’t you ever ask or even think such a thing again.” The man’s voice rose as he quickly turned around. She trembled a little with a shaky gasp escaping her lips as her eyes widened. He noticed her fear and sharp cold glare dropped when he reached his hand for hers. Her trembling hand found his and he held it gently. “I didn’t mean to raise my voice. But…when you assume such a thing, it means you’re doubting that you’re your parents’ child.”

Realisation hit her in the face as she leaned back onto her seat. She placed her hand on her cheek and gulped as her bottom lip quivered.

“I didn’t…think of that.” She mumbled. “I’m sorry.”

“Just don’t ever let a thought like that get into your head again.” Clarus stated and she nodded. “Someday, that stupid brother of yours needs to realise what he’s done to you is wrong. I could tell Gladio to talk some sense into him.”

“That won’t be necessary. Besides, I’d rather not get him involved in this mess too.” She stated and he nodded. Cor began driving again and they crossed the bridge to enter Insomnia.

The city streets were a little busy with people on their way to work. Bella out of the window at everything that passed by; buildings, people, schools, establishments, her university. This was the place she spent all her life in, but where she was born was far away from here. Though she had admiration for Insomnia, it all felt…too much of a routine for her. Insomnia was a place she had grown so used to that she never really felt excited about it anymore. It was expected of her that when she finished University, she would join her father’s company. What was beneficial about the group was that, not only was it a multi-million gil conglomerate company, they had businesses in every kind of sector. She could easily find employment in one of her family’s businesses that would fit well with what she was studying. It was expected of her to work for the family business, but that’s not what she wanted. She didn’t want to rely on the success of their family to get by, she wanted to do something she enjoyed, start something for herself and get money from it. Unfortunately it wasn’t about what she wanted, she had to help her brother and sort other things out…

“We’re here.” Cor announced as the car passed through the gates as they entered the Citadel’s entrance.

“Stop the car.” Bella quickly took her seatbelt off and the car came to a halt.

The young woman opened the door and closed it shut behind her. Her green eyes focused on her surroundings, the entrance and the Citadel. The painful memories were still fresh in her mind, as if they happened just yesterday. Memories she wished she could forget but they made her into the person she was today.

The last time she was here, she was just a 10 year old girl being dragged away from her home. Yelling, screaming, kicking, and trying her best to escape as Cor carried her into the car, all while her brother just watched silently with no protests. Bella walked towards the centre of the clearing and stopped.

This was it…this was where her father was killed. He was walking her to the Citadel so they could cut her birthday cake he was carrying. There were no security around and Clarus and Cor were on their way to meet them outside. Then, out of nowhere, that murderer appeared, fully clad in armour towering over her with his greatsword in his hand. Regis pulled his daughter around him, but she saw the sword go through his chest. His warm blood spraying over her, turning her white tulle dress a bright red. She couldn’t stop screaming or crying as he fell to the ground, the cake falling with him as she held onto him tightly, never wanting to let go. The amount of blood on the ground looked like a large puddle of crimson red. All she heard from the monster who killed her father were 6 words she would never forget, 6 words that fuelled her vengeance to kill that murdering bastard, and 6 words that haunted her forever…

“You and your brother are next.” Bella whispered as she kneeled to the ground. Her hands were trembling and her heart was beating faster and faster. Her breathing was shaky and uneven and she felt as if she was choking. Her limbs were completely numb as her bottom lip quivered and she placed her hand on the ground, the exact place her father died.

“Protect your brother and take care of him…”

Those words…she wished she could do so but…he sent her away and he caused her so much pain. She bet Regis and Aulea were looking down on them, woeful and disappointed that both their children were on bad terms. They surely must have seen the things she had gone through during the past 11 years and it must have hurt them. Being parents and watching their children suffer with no power to do anything about it, must have been the worst feeling for them. She felt it was her own fault…for causing them so much pain. Her fault that they weren’t resting in peace.

“I’m sorry…” She squeaked with tears dropping onto the floor as if it was going to rain. “I’ve caused you both so much pain…I should have been stronger…”

Just like 11 years ago, Clarus and Cor ran from the car towards Bella and saw her crying with her arms wrapped around herself. It broke their hearts to see her like this, to see her suffer like this, to be in so much pain. This was her home and it had brought her so much suffering.

“Come on, stand up…” Cor’s voice was gentle as he took her hands and helped her up. The older man took out a tissue from his pocket and wiped her tears, thankfully her mascara was waterproof. “Let’s get you inside.” Her breathing finally evened out as Clarus began counting down from 10 till 1, helping her calm down.

The 2 men led her into the Citadel’s lobby where there 2 lifts for both buildings and a reception desk which was empty.

“Bella.” She heard a female’s voice and turned to her right.

The cheery voice came from one of her best friends, Wren Asteria who she had known for 15 years. The young was 27 years old at 5ft 9in with a slim body, straight dark brown collar bone length hair, and side swept bangs, medium skin tone with a golden undertone, rosy cheeks and lips and round bright green eyes. She wore a simple cream fitted jumper, black tight jeans and knee high length boots with her hair left out.

The woman wrapped her arms around her friend and held her tight. Wren knew today would be painful for her. But she promised her that she would be there to support her, no matter how early or late. Bella was grateful to have Wren as a best friend, she was the one who helped her and supported her the most when she lost her father and when she was sent away. It was her who would sneak her out for midnight snacks and long drives to get her mind off things. It was her who knew all her deepest and darkest secrets, hiding them from anyone, even from her boyfriend Ignis.

Speaking of Ignis, he was there too, dressed in a casual dark grey jumper, black jeans and black shoes. He smiled at the 20 year old woman and she turned towards him. Wren let go of her best friend who pulled away and she smiled at them both.

“Thanks for being here. It means so much that you guys could make it.” She stated. “Wren, I know you hate early mornings, must’ve been hard for you to get up.”

“Surprisingly, she woke up before I did.” Ignis accidently let it slip and the dark haired woman crossed her arms whilst smirking and her best friend’s face turned beet red.

“Ohoho damnnn Iggy!” Bella howled whilst nudging her friend who just lowered his gaze regretting every life choice. “You guys did the dirty. Oh my.”

“Bella, please stop.” Wren squeaked as she burst into a fit of giggles.

“Hey, what’s the joke? I wanna get in the action.” Clarus stated which caused the 20 year old to laugh so hard her sides began to ache. Cor just bit on his lip trying not to burst into laughter too.

“Bella, I swear to Etro. I’ll murder you when this is over.” Wren muttered with her face finally returning to its natural tone.

“I think we should get a move on.” Ignis tried changing the subject as he pressed the button to elevator which went up into the many floors of Tower 1, where the Caelum family lived. The doors opened and they all entered. The doors closed behind Cor who was the last to get in and the elevator began making its way up. “Bella…there’s been a slight change in plan.” Her smile dropped as she turned to the man in glasses. Her expression changed within just a millisecond, from cheery and joking to annoyed and serious.

“Cancelled again?” She asked.

“No, Gladiolus and a guest will be joining us.” He replied.

Her eyebrows furrowed together as she gulped. The young woman gripped onto the bottom of her skirt and felt her heart pounding fast, she knew the others could hear it too. Why…why was he here? She wasn’t prepared for this, emotionally, mentally, hell even physically. She could have worn something more formal, she could have worn more makeup too, not to impress him but to look more presentable.

“Why…why is Gladio here?” She asked. “Who is that guest? Why is he here too?”

“Gladiolus seemed overjoyed when he heard you were returning to the Citadel. I didn’t think he would be here this morning.” Clarus commented.

“The guest is a friend of mine, I wouldn’t call himself a friend of Noctis but he wanted to meet you. He’s also a fellow agent.” Ignis stated and she felt Wren wrap her arms around her arm.

“Bella, it’s the Ravus Nox Fleuret!” She exclaimed.

Bella took a step back with her back hitting the wall of the elevator. Her eyes widened and her cheeks turned a faint pink as a soft gasp escaped her lips. Ravus…Ravus Nox Fleuret was here…in the Citadel…to meet her. He was the most eligible business bachelor in Eos AND he was an agent too in Eos’s Secret Intelligent Service. Beautiful would be an understatement to describe him. Not to mention, he and his sister descended from the royal bloodline of Tenebrae just like she and Noctis were descendants of the royal bloodline of Lucis. Now she was even more nervous, she dressed so casually with these two handsome men meeting her.

“W-why…I…he…I’m not ready for this!” She stammered nervously. “How could he just…drop all this on me?!”

“Bella, it’s going to be okay.” Cor reassured her. “Just think of it like you’re meeting normal strangers.”

“Cor, it’s my old crush and Eos’s most eligible bachelor out there!” She whined.

“We’re all here to support you, okay?” Wren held her hand tight. “Breathe in, breathe out; slowly.” She followed her command and her heart rate finally returned back to normal. “You good?”

“Yeah…” She mumbled and the doors opened when they got to the 3rd last floor.

They all exited the elevator and Bella was greeted by a line of the Citadel staff; all of whom were new. She smiled at them and said good morning but was saddened and disappointed there was no one she recognised from her childhood. Cor took her coat and she made her way towards the double doors leading to the dining room. She inhaled through her nose and exhaled slowly through her lips and the trembling of her hands came to a halt.

The doors opened up and Bella entered the humungous dining room whilst examining her surroundings rather than the people in the room. The staff may have changed but thankfully, this room didn’t. Everything was the same, the black and gold damask wallpaper on the walls, the 18 arm gold and crystal vintage chandelier which hung from the centre of the ceiling, the rectangular long table which could host a total of 12 people and the brown vintage fireplace to the left. The windows in the room were situated at the back, with the sunshine not being too bright or too dim.

A small smile graced her face when she began to remember her sweet memories of her innocent childhood in this room; the way Noct hated eating his vegetables, how Regis would tell him he wouldn’t get dessert when he didn’t, how her and her father would sneak into the dining room to eat a meal or snack at midnight. She sighed deeply with her eyes glistening with tears; she wished those memories would last forever.

Ravus and Gladiolus were sitting in the chairs they specifically picked to be seated in. Gladio was dressed in a dark red cashmere jumper, black straight cut jeans and black trainers whilst Ravus wore a grey blazer, waistcoat, trousers, a white shirt and purple tie with black shoes. When they heard footsteps, both men turned to the young woman who entered the room and instantly stood up.

Gladio couldn’t believe his amber eyes; it was really her. Bellatrix who was just a teenager the last time he saw her 6 years ago. But now, she was a beautiful young woman. He didn’t imagine she would blossom into such a woman but here she was, with her long dark hair falling right into place, her almond shaped green eyes sparkling like stars, eyelashes fluttering like wings on a bird, the way her luscious lips pursed together and the corners perking up into a lovely smile. His gaze lowered to her body and his cheeks reddened; she had the body of a fully developed women, her curves driving his mind crazy, those large round bosoms and those child bearing hips. No…he had to get a grip on himself. She was Noctis’s little sister, he couldn’t be staring at her like that and thinking such impure things.

When Ravus laid his mismatched eyes on her, he swore she was a form of Etro herself. But no, she was very much human, an extremely graceful young lady. He had seen and met countless women in his life, but none with such alluring beauty as hers. She was like no other, she possessed not just average beauty but the kind where one would witness Aurora in Tenebrae for the first time. He had expected the little sister of Noctis to be some spoilt brat who would be late, sleepy rude and ungrateful, just like when he met her brother for the first time 8 years ago. However he was surprised that she seemed nothing like her sibling at all. There was something about her, something which drew him to her. He felt like he had known her before, even though this was the first time she had ever seen her. Maybe they knew each other in a past life or in another lifetime.

“Is the great Ravus Nox Fleuret blushing?” Gladio mumbled whilst smirking. The said man rolled his eyes and looked at the man who stood across him.

“I see you are, Amicitia.” Ravus hissed and glared at him. “I noticed the way you’re staring at her, she’s not a slab of meat or some criminal you seduce on missions.”

“Rich coming from someone who pretends to be someone they’re not. Must be easy huh?” The dark haired man took a brutal jab at him but Ravus didn’t take his words seriously. “You know that isn’t her type.”

“And you are? Please, Amicitia. Don’t make me die of laughter. I’m everyone’s type.” He boasted. “Now stand there and watch as a real man greets a lovely lady. You could learn from me. Maybe it could help you on your missions.”

Gladio gripped onto the chair whilst grinding his teeth together, the nerve of him! He thought he was better than him in terms of charm? But what did he expect? Ravus always thought he was better than others, he was a famous businessman and an exceptionally skilled agent. It would annoy the hell out of Gladio, that the compliments and praised only made his ego more unbearable.

“Miss Caelum.” Ravus walked up to the young woman with a small smile on his face.

Bella turned to the man who approached her and looked up at him. Her eyebrows rose as her eyes widened a little and her pupils dilated wider. She felt her face turn hot and faint red. All those articles were right, every magazine was right, he was absolutely mesmerising, his face looked like it was carved by the Astrals themselves, his platinum blond hair looked as soft and silky as satin, and she admired his heterochromia eyes. He had such an imposing physical build with a lean body and looked 6ft 3in which made the young woman feel really small.

“It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.” He took her hand, placing a sweet kiss on her the back of her hand. She felt his cold soft lips on her warm skin and gulped feeling flustered and a little uncomfortable since no one has ever greeted her like this. Cor kept a watchful eye on the young man just in case he tried anything or said something out of line.

“Pleasure is all mine.” She managed to smile and pulled her hand away from him.

Gladio couldn’t take it, something inside him just didn’t like any of this. Seeing Ravus owning him in terms of charms, but of all the people, the fact that it was her made him more pissed. He couldn’t just stand and watch like this. So he walked briskly towards her with such confidence. Wren, Ignis and Clarus noticed this with the young woman nudging both her boyfriend and friends father with a small snicker. Ignis just shook his head; he knew this wasn’t going to be good and the head of the Amicitia family just sighed stressfully.

“Bella…” The young woman heard a familiar voice which caused goose bumps to form over skin.

The said woman slowly turned to where the voice came from and leaned back as she gasped softly. She felt her heart pounding in her chest and she gulped nervously. She thought for a moment there that she would faint but there she was still standing. It was really him, it was really Gladio who stood in front of her. He looked so different, but those alluring amber eyes were still the same. He looked taller than when she last saw him 6 years ago and towered over her at an outstanding 6ft 6in. He also grew more facial hair and his hair looked longer. Even since she was a teenager, his rugged sexy good looks was a huge weakness for her, but now…he looked more attractive then ever. But then she saw that sweet gentle smile of his, how a man who looked so manly and rough be so soft and tender was beyond her.

“It’s so good to see you again, Gladio.” She smiled at him and his cheeks turned beet red. Her smile was still so bright and warm like a ray of sunlight. He cleared his throat and his fingers ran through his dark brown tresses with a smug smirk on his face as he leaned closer to her but she just leaned back away from him.

“I must be the luckiest man to be in the presence of the most beautiful woman ever.” He winked and her eyebrow twitched. If she was still 16, she would squeal and most likely faint if he had said that. But she was almost 21, she knew better and felt awkward at the compliment.

“How many times have you used that on innumerable women?” Ravus asked with a smug smirk on his face.

Her forest green eyes glanced from Gladio to Ravus with furrowed eyebrows and she sighed loudly and sharply whilst rolling her eyes and shaking her head. From Gladiolus she wasn’t surprised but from Ravus she was disappointed. Bella wasn’t like the women Gladio would often seduce or flirt with, she was his childhood friend and she thought he respected her more to treat her as such but what did she expect from him? As for Ravus, she knew that smirk was full of so much pride and arrogance. She wasn’t someone he could show off. For him to try and impress her for pride and to bring Gladio down was something that really put her off. There stood before her was a womaniser she once loved and a prideful asshole she once aspired to be like.

“Great goddess Etro, what did I do to deserve this?” She asked internally.

Bella walked past both of them and sat down on her the chair at the end of the table; it was her old seat she would sit on whenever the family would eat together. They watched as she walked away from them and sat down with an emotionless stare focused on the table.

“Great going, you two.” Wren mumbled loud enough for both men to hear, as she walked past them to sit next to her best friend. Cor sat opposite Wren, Clarus sat opposite him and Gladio sat with his father. Ravus sat beside the brunette and Ignis sat next to him.

The 7 of them all waited with only some small talk between the others with Cor and Bella staying quiet. The reason she stayed quiet was because she kept thinking about finally seeing her brother again after so many years. She glanced up at the double doors; any minute now he would walk through them and they would finally reunite. When her gaze lowered, Gladio was the first to notice how nervous she looked. She was fiddling with her hair and her fingers trembled a little ash kept playing with her tresses.

“So Bella, I heard you’re a university student.” Gladio stated and she looked up at whilst dropping the strand of hair she was playing with.

“Yeah, I study at Insomnia Crown University.” She replied and both Ravus and Gladio were surprised.

“Wait, you go to the Insomnia Crown University?” Ravus asked.

“Eos’s top ranked university. You go there?” Gladio questioned and she nodded as if it was nothing special. Cor on the other hand just smirked proud of his little girl.

“I study History, Politics and Economics.” She answered.

“I always wonder how you can do it. Isn’t it a lot?” Wren added.

“It’s manageable, besides I really enjoy it.” She smiled.

“That’s all that matters, Bella.” Clarus commented with a smile. “We’re all very proud of you.”

The conversation continued with the dark haired woman staying silent. Time passed by and every 10 minutes the youngest woman in the room would check her watch whilst huffing. It had been 1 hour and a half since she’s arrived and he hasn’t showed up yet.

“Cor, I’m hungry.” She mumbled only loud enough for Cor and her best friend to hear.

“He’ll be here any minute. Just hold off till then.” The older man advised.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if he even forgot.” She muttered whilst crossing her arms.

“Of course he hasn’t, he’s been looking forward to seeing you.” Wren said.

“Yeah well why isn’t he here already?” She didn’t mean to raise her voice and the others turned to her. “This is an embarrassment not only to you all but to me too. I apologise but I’m going to my room to get ready for my lecture.” Cor placed his hand on hers and held it tight.

“Your lecture doesn’t start until 11. You can wait a little while longer.” He said in a gruff tone of voice.

“Have someone send my breakfast to my room.” She commanded as she pulled her hand away.

Just as she was about to stand up, they all heard the double doors open. Noctis entered the dining room, with his hair being a mess and he was wearing a black sweater with dark grey pyjama pants. The young man yawned and rubbing his eyes.

Everyone else stood up with respect as he entered the room but Bella just sat there with crossed arms. When her eyes fell on her brother, she noticed how he resembled their father with the only exception being the facial hair. His jaw was square shaped and he no longer had that silly spiky hair. She felt glad to see him, a little giddy even but nonetheless she was disappointed that he overslept, though it was better than him forgetting she was here.

The first thing Noctis saw was his little sister sitting by the table and when he did see her, his blue eyes were brimming with tears. A joyful and gentle smile graced his lips upon seeing her after 11 years. His baby sister, who was once so young and adorable had grown into a young woman. She looked like their mother but with their father’s hair and eye colour. He waited so long to finally see her and now that he was met face to face with her, he couldn’t believe himself. Was it a dream? Was he still dreaming? If it was, he hoped to never wake.

Noctis sprinted towards her and she slowly stood from her seat. What in Eos was he doing running towards her like he was a child? She didn’t understand why but then when he reached her, he wrapped his arms around her tightly and buried his face into the crook of her neck. She felt warms tears on her skin and felt her heart ache. Those tears…were for her. He really did miss her and he really was happy to reunite with her again. Her bottom lip quivered as she wrapped her arms around him, holding him so tight that she feared that if she let go he would leave. Cor couldn’t help but smile at this; at least she wasn’t scolding him like he expected.

“It’s really you…” He whispered. “This isn’t a dream...is it?” It took everything for her to hold her tears back.

“I’m here, this is real.” She replied and he pulled away from her. The young man wiped his tears with his wrists whilst sniffling.

“Welcome home, Bella.” He smiled.

“You can’t imagine how much I waited for this day to come.” She said.

“Heh, I forgot you were coming today, that’s why I woke up late.” He grinned and her smile dropped. She felt her blood boil in her veins as she gripped onto her fist tightly and her jaw was clenched. Just as she was about to approach him, Wren read what was going on, stood up and placed her hand on her friend’s shoulder stopping her from reacting.

“Oh Noct,” She chuckled nervously. “What a funny joke, let’s all just sit down and start eating. We’ve been waiting for a while so we’re starving.”

“But it wasn’t a joke.” Noctis replied.

“Noctis, just sit your ass down. We’re all hungry.” Cor growled.

“Alright, alright. Gimme a break.” Noctis raised his hands in surrender as he walked towards his seat and they all finally sat down.

Bella stared at her brother with so much loathing in her glare that when he noticed her glaring at him, he gulped and felt cold beads of sweat rolling down his neck as he lowered his gaze feeling guilt and fear. She felt a hand hold onto hers and turned to see Cor who stared at her with a tender loving gaze. Her eyebrows furrowed together and he could see the tears forming in her eyes. She just rested her head against the back of her hand with her elbow leaning on the table, hiding her face and tears from anyone who could see it. But when her guardian saw that one small tear fall through her fingers, he growled. He turned to the young dark haired man who looked up at him. Cor glared at his coldly, it was that same glare he saw whenever he cancelled on Bella, a glare of utter disappointment; a glare that instantly made him regret everything he did to hurt his sister.

#spy au #ffxv #fanfiction #fanfic #oc #ffxv oc #noctis lucis caelum #bellatrix lucis caelum #gladiolus amicitia #ignis scientia #ravus nox fleuret #cor leonis #clarus amicitia #wren asteria #writing #writers on tumblr

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mbalenhles-blog · 7 years ago

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SOFIA MBALENHLE KREUTZWALD, princess of estonia.

“ there are all these moments you think you won’t survive. and then you survive. ”

I. BASICS –––

full name: sofia mbalenhle kreutzwald.

sofia: from the greek, Σοφια, means “wisdom”.

mbalenhle: from zulu, imbali, for “flower”, and hle, for “beautiful”.

date of birth: october 12th, 1814.

age: thirty-one.

city of birth: tallinn. she always loved her home, or perhaps it has always been thanks to her parents, who she loved and learned a lot from.

country of birth: estonia.

position: princess of estonia, duchess of glücksbierg (in denmark).

marital status: widow.

sexuality: demisexual.

gender identity: cisgender female.

religion: catholic. a believer, but rarely a praticant.

II. RELATIONSHIPS –––

number of siblings: five.

order of birth: first born, the oldest.

father: taveet kreutzwald, late king of estonia. relationship: her best friend — sofia isn’t afraid to admit that was her father to her. the man who had taught her so much and made her who she is, gave her glimpses of what was like to rule a kingdom even if he knew she wasn’t the one meant to take the crown. although the man would say he had no favorite child, anyone could see how he was closer to his two oldest: they were the ones to spend more time with him, watch him work and dare to make suggestions, help in his choices. he is, even in death, sofia’s safe haven.

mother: zola kreutzwald, late queen of estonia, former princess of swaziland. relationship: although closer to her father, she would never say she didn’t love or wasn’t fond of her mother — zola was just as inspiring as her husband for little sofia. she was the one who made her grow fond of reading and drawing, to have a brain of her own; she taught her how to be graceful and held her whenever she cried — especially in the day of her marriage and the last time she saw both her parents. she misses her dearly, and keeps a necklace that was owned by the woman with her at all times.

relationship with siblings: being the oldest has turned her into one of the most responsible ones among them. although with her head in the clouds and nose stuck in a book through most of her youth, she has shown to be one of the siblings that sees reality differently, with kind eyes and a good moral compass. the relationship to each sibling needs to be determined as applied.

former partner: gerhard thorn, duke of glücksbierg. marriage: april 1839 to december 1844. relationship: ( SEXUAL ABUSE TW! ) their marriage was a proposition that came from the duke himself in one of his trips to estonia — back then, the king had thought this would be a good idea, as if the story repeats itself: it was travelling that he met his wife, fallen for her beauty and intelligence, and he had thought this was gerhard’s case towards sofia. he was wrong. the duke was a narcissist, a careless man who barely cared for anything but benefiting himself — it is true he has “fallen” for the princess’ beauty, but she was far too smart for him, she wasn’t impressed by his looks or by him at all, different from the many women he had been with until then. she was a challenge, a prey that he would get and feel glad to have in his hands, wanting her or not — those harder to get were the best, after all. she has never complained ( much ) about the man to her father before the marriage, but he was no fool and had seem how scared and disgusted she looked after every meeting with the man — he had suggested to call it out, but at the age of twenty-five, she judged herself old. it was out of luck a man felt interested in her, even if it was only for her physical, in her opinion — she should continue with that, for the benefits of their own small kingdom. a child came out of their union, forceful, with marks that would take a while to fade from her golden skin — she thought it would be a challenge to love her son, that memories from the nights that haunted her mind would come across every time she looked at him: and it was, at first. for the first months, sofia wouldn’t want to see the baby and felt disgusted of herself, but it was in a moment she was alone with the baby and she saw her own curious eyes on him that she fell in love: hendrik, she had decided, would be the only thing that mattered to her. her marriage, unhappy and abusive, remained for the following years and some would be the times her husband would manage to get to her room and she would accept have him there, just for the sake of it — but he had his mistress, who were much better than her ( luckily ), and with the time he would grow tired of her company in bed, although never once letting go of the idea to expose her as his trophy wife. his death came suddenly, but with a lot of relief to sofia — more than she should’ve let it show, which brings questions to anyone who has known either her or gerhard, or both, doubts of his death, so sudden and not of plague, looking very much like an ordered murder.

children:

hendrik sipho thorn, born in february 15th, 1840 (six year old). his hair and big curious eyes give him away as sofia’s son — but he is far from looking like her, with his skin being lighter and some small features showing some of his father’s. hendrik is a smart danish boy — he has been learning more languages since he learned how to talk, always taught by his mother; he doesn’t have as much accent as she does when speaking other languages, being a fast learner, catching things just by hearing them. he’s agitated, always needing to be moving and going somewhere; and one of his passions seems to be animals, probably something that could be blamed on sofia and her choices of reading to him.

III. PHYSICAL –––

height: 162cm, 5ft 4in

weight: 54kg, 119lbs

eye color: brown.

hair color: brown.

natural hair texture: curly, thin.

body build: slim, slightly curvy.

prominent features: a mole next to her upper lip, on the right side; a scar on her left ankle ( thanks to childish plays and running around, tripping and twisting said ankle in a small rock ).

accent: she sounds most fluent in estonian and danish, being the languages she has practice more during her whole life, with the kind of alliances her father had. but in english and french, which are the languages she tries to keep up nowadays, she has an obvious accent, but still easy to understand. she is fond of learning languages, so her practice usually go until she doesn’t sound as much of a foreigner as she is.

speech: even insecure, sofia is one to speak with the most certain kind of tone, very rare to stutter, and usually sounding like someone who knows better. for some, she may sound as a mother or a scholar, which would be compliments to her. her vocabulary is quite extensive in any of the languages she speaks and that’s noticeable just by talking to her a few times.

general health: in good health and trying to keep herself this way, she has been rarely engaging in anything that might get her sick or hurt. she only puts herself on this sort of priority for worrying for her child — if she gets sick, chances of him getting too would be considerable.

IV. PERSONALITY –––

habits: tapping her fingers on any surface, being too observant, acting as a “mom friend”, chewing the inside of her cheek when nervous, rubbing her arm.

hobbies: reading, collecting books, drawing, learning, tasting different cuisines, taking walks in the garden, being alone, writing.

morning routine: she usually wakes up very early, able to see the first rays of sunshine to appear in the sky; most of the times, she likes to take her time waking up her son so they can have breakfast together. it isn’t unusual to see her walking around the gardens either, as she judges the morning sun to be the best and most enjoyable, along with its breeze.

nightly routine: to read and kiss her son goodnight is probably the only thing that happens every single night. sofia deals with the darkness of the night in different ways, most of them being by lighting a candle and reading a book on her own, or writing something — when she feels too lonely, she reads her father’s old letters and see old sketches in her journals. sometimes, she would dare to leave her quarters, take a walk to spare her thoughts and to go to the library, either to get other books or to watch the night sky through its windows ( a better view than the one she has from her own room ).

skills: drawing, she’s good at sketches, but is far too insecure about it to even show many people; is a fast learner, people don’t need to explain anything twice before she is already knowing how to do things.

V. SIGNATURES –––

theme song: “saturn”, sleeping at last.

strengths: intelligence, optimism, responsibility.

weaknesses: stubbornness, prejudice, impatience.

what would be in their trunk?: books, an old journal she likes to write or sketch sometimes, hendrik’s blanket, her father’s letters.

character’s inspirations: tessa gray ( the infernal devices, by cassandra clare ), belle ( beauty and the beast, the tale by madame de beaumont, and the animation movie, adapted by linda woolverton ).

#❛ ♛ ━ MEN MAY BE STRONGER BUT IT IS WOMEN WHO ENDURE.#palais.task #palais.task1 #palais.task2 #abuse tw #took me Three Thousand Years but at least i did bOTH tasks YAY ME??

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harmonyroadpottery · 5 years ago

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So today I thought I’d take a minute for a “meet the mighty makers who made this maker!” This is my mom and my aunts... They often travel in this 5 person-5ft tall pack 😂 I’m pretty sure they can move a mountain, if it’s in the way... (they are some very strong women) who showed me how to go thru what life throws at you with a quiet strength, faith, love, humor & grace. On days like yesterday’s visit, they often display them all, at the same time! Of course I totally made them all get their hands dirty & make me an ornament. (cause yes I’m bossy like that)😜 It was just so nice to spend time chatting and sharing something I love with some of the people I love most. Thanks for being my family.😘 I’ve def been blessed. (at Colora, Maryland) https://www.instagram.com/p/B4DU6cqAk_2/?igshid=11sc6ql69okb7

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36incheshigh · 7 years ago

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http://academics.cehd.umn.edu/hatch/research/fish/fishes/american_eel.html So if I had to choose a patronus ir soul animal or something, especially for my villain alter ego itd be an american freshwater eel. I choose the word patronus or soul animal because im not sure the relationship i want to it to be that ii physically become it or am it in another life but maybe something that i live vicariously through it or something ha whatever thatd be called! Id always kinda thought of a snake bc theyre so svelte but also i wanted an aquatic animal bc what a different world in the water and that must be soft getting to move smoothly in more than two dimensions. So its cool bc it says these guys can go on land and mostlyin water. Plus their little fins look cool and they still look sleek. I didnt want an animal that looks too much . Plus its a good size, 3-5ft, 5-7 pounds - thats a size thats not easily smooshed and stepped on its substantial but not overbearing or threatening or something that cant fit anywhere lol. Plus i kinda like its life. Nocturnal so i dont have to deal with the sun or looking at all kinds of crazy stuff sometimes a lot of visual stimulation is overwhelming lol. Just everybody be quiet and dont look at me loll. I mean idk. It uses mostly smell to get its food which is also my fav sense lol. Its like a magic sense because its like invisible and you cant even see or feel anything, its like its just telepathy lol. I like how it only eats small things without blood that arent a big deal to eat and that probs dont have many feelings, like bugs . Because like, chill down!. I like its choice of habitat. Freshwater bodies of water are like, my favorite thing in a habitat, even as a human. So fresh and refreshing and invigoratig yet safe lol. One of my fav landscapes. Because it has so many elements to it to ground and engage you, in good ways that arent gross or overwhelming. Sound of waves lapping a distinct but nice smell. Water and mud are gentler than like trees and ground and rock. Plus they get born in the gulf of mexico apparently - all of them lol?!. Thats cool, it mist be nice and warm there, neat place to start-and end apparently. Yea i also like how they do get to stay in like one spot all their lives, but at the begining and end they get to do some travelling alll the way back to their birth place. I like an athletic animal, especially ones that can swim. Amazing not to even drown lol maybe its hust bc i see it from a human perspective. I like this sense of loyalty which i value in this life-even if for them its just biological rather than emotional.. how nice, i love that , they go backk to theirr birth place to give birth again and die. After spending all their life in one place . I also like their predators even. Theyre just these chilll big fish and like herrons. I could respect a chill big fish like a bass. Bass has fed my human species so why not give back. Yea i mean i respect all species but if i had to pick my predator id rather have someone whos not gonna get all dramatic and violent and obnoxious about it lol. Like a shark w all their scary teeth or like a raptor with its hella claws and sharp beak . Just just like a graceful herron whos like kinda respectful to me and is as quiet as it can be before it comes for me, disrupting as little of my life as possible before it kills me, and then you dont even notice it w its little legs and narrow beak, just going like ploop!, i imagine, and nabbing me up before i can realize it lol. Or like the bass, does it even have teeth? Idk i dont imagine it making much of a fuss, just cooly coming by and slurp! In i go, dead! Sure i can accept that probably lol if i had to. Plus its not scary but its not gonna be anyones bitch. Hopefully all animals wont in their own way. But its fun to me how ironic it is that ud think out if all the animals these snake like eels would have the short end of the stick youd think, because they dont even have any damn like legs or arms or barely any teeth! But. They can live allll the way under the ground like a meter under the ground and theyre slippery on purpose so u cant catch them And they can swim as fuck it looks like which is cool. Like its cool when they can survive because of skillz and abilities not just because they got a good bod built like that they dont have to contribute anything about. #ugh english is hard today lol.

On the downside theyre a little ugly and i sure wouldnt wanna touch one all slimy for goodbess sake. And it might get lonely and cold living at the bottom of a river during the day all day erry day. The heck how are you supposed to make friends. Cant even get a spouse which couldve been nice like penguins, they just layy eggs for the dude to fertilize - and then the mon dies! Bummer. But they can live to like 30. For an animal who just idk, doesnt make friends or learn about the world butt who can swim which is cool - i guess thats a substantial amount if time to do enough fish stuff and have a good time with fish things - i like how they doo get to travel. Always thought that was impressive and must be fulfilling like wih geese who fly far- what an accomplishment.

I have class in a few hours and im not a loon i just have some musings as i wait for sleep lolll. So here we are

#Musings #patronus #LOL #loon #fish

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teru-teru-bozu · 8 years ago

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SoH Template

The Basics

“You call it brutality; I call it efficiency.”

Name: Teru 光

Age: 28

Gender: Male

Spirit: Wild Boar

Impulsive/Calculated: Impulsive 73%/ Calculated 27%

Perverted/Chivalrous: Perverted 45%/Chivalrous 55%

Charming/Stoic: Charming 70%/ Stoic 30%

Drifter/Protective: Drifter 49%/ Protective 51%

Finesse/Brutal: Brutal 74%/ Finesse 26%

Eye Color: Black

Hair Color: Black

Haircut: Long hair that flows down and frames the face, as popularized by the sohei. However, he has foregone the headband and ties the rest of his hair with a hard ribbon; when he has time, he also ties a ribbon around the hair that frames his face.

Height: 175 cm. (5ft. 9”)

Relationships - How much does the Ronin like their companions? Would they trust them to have their back? Do they trust them at all? Would they consider a romantic relationship with them or would they keep things strictly platonic?

Masashi (15): From the get-go, Teru disliked Masashi—he was everything Teru hated, after all: naïve, rich, had no knowledge of the true hardships of the world, and looked down on Teru because he did everything necessary to survive. His soft, humanitarian outlook would also get Masashi killed someday, or so Teru believes. Teru disliked him even more when Masashi disrespected him by throwing money at him—but he also knows that the only reason why Masashi is the naïve and insensitive thing he is, is because he had the privilege of not knowing the true nature of the world. Teru notices Masashi’s growth and maturation, and he begins to dislike him less—the ronin can’t help but applaud Masashi’s noble attitude towards everything, especially in putting others first; Masashi is, without a doubt, a better person than he is. Teru protects Masashi with his life as a form of penance, and he does it more religiously than any Shinto priest. As Teru spends more time with Masashi, his dislike gradually lessens and turns into a brotherly affection; he is well aware of Masashi’s crush on him, and hopes that Masashi would get rid of it soon enough.

He also wishes the kid would just shut up and let him do his job, kuso.

Toshio (24): Teru and Toshio did not get off on the right foot. Teru had lunged at him and would have strangled him in the Lion Temple had Masashi not intervened, and he dislikes even further how Toshio never tells him the whole truth—it doesn’t help when Toshio pushes Teru’s buttons, provokes his anger and asks questions about things Teru would rather forget. Teru is also aware that Toshio prioritizes the mission above everything—Teru mistakenly thinks that Toshio believes the others (and their feelings) to be expendable. However, Teru appreciates his level-headedness, especially in the Baron’s island. He also knows that without Toshio, everything would go into the dust.

Hatch (25): “How did he get mixed in with us, again?” Teru prefers working with as small a team as possible, and so when Hatch became a member of their group, he was dismayed. He was even more dismayed by Hatch’s less-than-intelligent habits, by his boisterousness—but Hatch’s fiery loyalty, strength and bravery is not lost on Teru; Hatch’s nobility was greater than that of any samurai’s, and it had made Teru’s eyes widen more than once. When Hatch blatantly showed Teru how much he cared for him, Teru felt very confused, flustered and horrified by the sped-up beating of his heart—he immediately shoved those feelings away. He knew how much Hatch loved Momoko, and he didn’t want to drive away the first friends he ever made, and there was Jun. Teru treats Hatch as a comrade, a friend, and trusts Hatch to have his back in his own strange way. He would gladly give Hatch as much sake as he wants.

Momoko (25): Teru had extremely hated Momoko when he discovered that she was the opium maker, the destroyer of Jijinto and the murder of thousands. This hatred made him spit acid vitriol at her despite the burn of poison in his throat. However, he was horribly shaken when he realized that she was going to kill herself because of guilt—guilt which he crushed her with. He didn’t waste time in grabbing Momoko from the edge of the bridge and throwing her onto the pavement. He knew that his anger towards her for making opium was a hypocrisy; he had killed just as many innocents as she had, and they both deserved death for their crimes. The only difference was that Momoko could remedy what she did. Teru deeply respects and is amazed by Momoko’s goodness, skill, and her willingness to make things right. She had saved his life twice, was wise, and was quiet; that sort of thing earned her a place in Teru’s heart. They had much in common; Teru began to feel—though he would never admit it—that she was like a sister. Teru would often talk to her and lighten her mood when she looked distressed... small wonder she fell in love with him. Teru rejected her as gently as possible; tears nearly spilled from his eyes when she said that she was leaving. He tried to force her to stay. Momoko was someone like him—better than him, and understood what true guilt felt like; he knew they could have been great friends... but she was gone.

Jun (27): Teru has many emotions about Jun, but most of all, it is guilt. Teru blames himself for what Jun became. Jun had come to Gensai a few months after he had, and he was a crazed, frightened child, hearing things in his head, jumping at every sound and having thoughts that he did not want to have—a result of being in the thick of a raid in a town to the east. Stress and negative emotions would worsen his mental condition, but training, laughter, company—especially from Teru—would keep the horrors at bay. First they were rivals, then friends, then brothers, then lovers. They spent thirteen years in each other’s company, ten of which were the most intimate in either’s lives. Then Gensai had gifted them both the Jigoku at the price of slaughtering children—the Jigoku gave Jun the strength to fight the darkness in his mind like nothing else could, and so he used it always, always, always, even when Teru begged him to stop; even when it was beginning to destroy Jun’s mind and turn him into an obsessive killer. And then Teru had killed Gensai.

Teru had his reasons to do so, but he never told Jun a single one. He ran, abandoned Jun, never explained, never spoke—Teru was too terrified, not of what Jun might do but of what he might do—if Jun attacked him, Teru couldn’t ascertain that he won’t end up killing Jun; and he didn’t want to do that. And so he had left Jun to the horrors of his mind, to a silence that allowed his illness to run wild. This was why Teru feels extreme guilt. What, Teru thought, could Jun do but use the Jigoku to keep the darkness at bay? If Jun was insane—that was because Teru had allowed it. Teru believes that all death caused by Jun was indirectly caused by himself. Jun was his greatest regret; Jun was his greatest sin.

When Jun had harmed Masashi, Teru still couldn’t bring himself to kill him; he felt too much guilt, too much love for the person he knew in his youth. The conflict of being a bodyguard and repenting for Jun caused Teru great stress during the course of the Shogi tournament. Teru, as with the rest of his sins, wants to repent for Jun.

He’ll order Jun to kill him when he sees him again. The only thing that Teru will beg is for Jun to allow him to kill the demons before that. The others sometimes hear him say “Jun, I’m sorry” in his sleep.

(I HAVE MANY HC AND THEORIES ABOUT JUN AND TERU-AND-JUN, AND IM ACTUALLY PLANNING TO WRITE SOMETHING LONG ONE DAYTHAT’S WHY IT’S LONG)

--Delving into their Character--

Any special backstory to their name? What does it mean?

Teru isn’t a common name, but it isn’t rare, either. It means brilliance, and Masashi writes it in a way that can also be read as “light” (hikari) 光 ironic, he’s not a Firefly. To distinguish him from another Teru in the orphanage, the others had labeled Teru as “Akai Teru” or “Teru the Red” because of the red ribbons he liked to use for his hair. Also because he was very prone to violence.

What do they wear? Do any of their clothing hold any special significance?

A maroon jacket (long turned brown by blood and use), black hakama pants, and a red ribbon to tie his hair with that he stole from a sohei some time ago. Not much significance. But the red ribbons he sometimes ties to the hair that frames his face—he does this out of a childhood habit; the owner of the orphanage (when she was a kinder drunk than usual) had said that he had red ribbons tied to his hair when his mother gave them to him. Child Teru kept on tying them in the hopes of being found and recognized by his mother—the older, ronin Teru just ties them out of habit and vanity; they do suit me, he thinks. Aside from his katana, he also has a kaiken—a dagger—in a sheath that resembles a folded war fan. It’s been useful in his past assassinations, and it was a gift from Jun in their younger days.

Does the Ronin have any noteworthy physical traits or scars?

Teru has rather feminine features—he can be easily mistaken for a woman if he hides his katana, tightens his obi, unties his hair and moves with more grace. A trait that he has used in many of his assassinations. He has a vertical birthmark across his back, a long, ragged scar under his right eye (from Gensai during his one of his brutal punishments), and a plethora of scars on the rest of his body.

How does the Ronin behave and/or speak around strangers? How do they behave and/or speak around their companions or people they trust?

Teru, to strangers, is a magnificent, charming young man, something like a prince straight out of the songs—but that’s just his acting to get what he wants. To the people he isn’t trying to trick, his dark, mocking humor and his less beautiful side shows; he can insult people with a compliment, and he doesn’t make an effort to be courteous—he’s not a geisha to entertain; he’s a ronin to kill. Around Toshio, he is very professional, almost cold; with Masashi he is a little exasperated, but kind; with Momoko and Hatch he speaks without a façade, for he trusts them. He naturally lies, but with Jun he is the most sincere you’d ever see him. He cannot open up and talk about his feelings without choking back tears. Teru is very emotional, very sensitive, and prone to violence and frenzy when he gets too emotional.

Are they extroverted or introverted?

Introverted.

What would the Ronin’s alignment be (Neutral-Good? True Neutral? Etc.)? Why?

Chaotic neutral. Teru only fights for things he believes in—it doesn’t concern him whether it’s the good side or the bad side. For a while, the only things he believed in were his own survival, but now he also believes in his mission and his penance. The thing that hasn’t changed is his bloody, brutal and harsh methods. He is a little bit of a sadist, and revels in seeing his enemies suffer; he has a thirst for blood drilled in him not by Gensai, but by the rough environment of Genfu. And he wasn’t going to follow anyone’s orders or laws if he doesn’t want to.

What do they like? Dislike? Is there any reason why they like/dislike it?

Teru loves sturdy trees, which he ties himself to and sleeps on; he loves sturdy rope and other useful supplies, such as matches. He likes dogs, because they remind him of the hunting hounds that used to be in Gensai’s mansion—he’d love to have one of his own to help him in combat, but he has neither the time nor the money. He loves hearing the bamboo flute; it fills him with a sense of peace. He hates cats, heights, horses and loud sounds. Horses reminded him too much of the time when the carriages of the nobility wouldn’t stop in the streets—they sped on and on, even if they ran over street urchins, even if they crippled one for life. He also likes hearing a good, thrilling story from the mouth of a talented orator.

Does the Ronin have any hobbies? Are they good at it?

Teru possesses a beautiful singing voice. He is very good at crafting—he could make rope, even sew things if he had the time or the supplies. He’s also a skilled actor. If he wasn’t so pragmatic or cynical, he could’ve entered a theatre troupe. Gensai, fancying himself the master of a legitimate samurai school, also taught Teru (and Jun) how to dance—the swift and elegant wardances were for balance and agility, and to appease Gensai’s love for history. Teru still does it in his spare time.

Does the Ronin have any unique quirks?

He plays with his hair when he’s genuinely nervous and bites the back of his hand when flustered or embarrassed. He fiddles with the ribbon in his hair when he’s thinking. He also blushes easily, and claws himself.

What is the Ronin bad at? Are they embarrassed by it? How would they react if their companions pointed it out to them?

HE CAN’T MATH FOR SHIT. Do not ask him to MDAS any numbers larger than 14. Do not ask him to MDAS at all (Hyugans don’t seem to have a number system like we use to solve on paper, but an abacus). Teru is extremely embarrassed by the fact that numbers are lost on him, and becomes extremely defensive and flustered when someone points out his mistake. He also has great trouble with riding horses. He also cannot cook—he just boils things, because the last time he tried to make anything he almost poisoned himself. He also cannot even draw a straight line 0/10 drawing skills. People also catch him clawing himself whenever his OCD attacks, and he snaps at them.

What frustrates the Ronin? What do they usually do to calm themselves down?

Many things frustrate him, but what frustrates him the most are: loud noises, many people, many people making loud noises, people who sometimes mistake him for a woman, people who flirt at him when he’s not interested, strangers who talk to him all of a sudden, the guilt and terrible thoughts in his head that poison his mind, the fact that he destroyed Jun’s mind by leaving... the list goes on. When Teru gets frustrated, he snaps at others and runs away to somewhere quiet. In that quiet place, he sings to himself and watches things (people walking, clouds going by) until he’s calm. Fights never get him out of a frenzy, they just pull him in deeper.

What makes the Ronin happy? Is it something small or something extravagant? Something tangible or abstract?

Teru is a simple man with simple needs. He only wants a few things: to be with someone he loves, to have a soft futon to sleep on, to have a good duel every now and then, to have his stomach full whenever he went to sleep. The last time he had these things constantly was before he killed Gensai. Being with Jun is something he misses, but tries to push out of his mind. He likes to hear a good song (whether flute or voice) and to hear a good story.

What does their voice sound like? Do you have a headcanon for them?

Mamoru Miyano in Japanese, maybe David Matranga in English.

Any other headcanons about the Ronin?

The words vain, sensitive, brutal, sadistic, cruel, impulsive, protective, principled, narcissistic, chaste, cynical, hardworking, humorous, cheery, kind and eloquent describe him in a nutshell.

He cannot grow facial hair at all, and he laments this extremely.

He suffers from OCD - Obtrusive Thoughts, which is one of the most common types. The OTs are always related to becoming insane and going to hell, and he claws himself to get rid of them... although obviously this ritual is only a temporary stopgap. (I did this because I want people to know that OCD isn’t just about cleanliness and symmetry...)

Book 1 Choices

Did Ume-Ume leave her home?

No—he killed both of the abusive city guard and threw their bodies into an alley with Toshio, shrugging at the idea of “conscience”.

Who was poisoned? The Ronin or Hatch?

Teru. “Why did I even do that in the first place..?”

Who grabbed Momoko before she fell?

Teru.

Who did the Ronin request for? The Shinto or Jijinto guard?

Shinto.

Did the Ronin spare or kill Daisuke?

Daisuke was killed.

Did the Ronin let Momoko save her work?

No—they were in the middle of a burning mansion, and he couldn’t fathom why Momoko would ever need them again.

Book 2 Choices

How did the Ronin deal with Jun’s return throughout the book?

Teru would have been elated to see Jun again—but he couldn’t, not when he was holding a sword to Masashi’s throat. But despite it all, Teru couldn’t bring himself to hate Jun or at least lose his love for him. He was terribly obsessed over the thought of Jun, bringing the topic up to Sadao and Toshio, and ruminating over it over the course of his stay in Jijinto. It was difficult to wrestle the thought of Jun out of his mind as he bathed.

How well did the Ronin fair during the first shogi tournament?

Even though he’s terrible at math, Teru is rather good at puzzles and riddles. He managed to follow Masashi’s vague instructions. He also traded barbs with the Gold General happily. (What an asshole. And that’s both of them.)

What was the final fate of the Gold General, Anzai Sukenobu?

Teru went to Jun’s katana the moment he heard the sound of a blade, his instincts and experience with Shiroyama and Jun driving him to do so. He did not expect it when Anzai stabbed himself in the gut, and Teru aided him into the afterlife. No one wanted to see an asshole suffer for hours on end.

Did the Ronin try set up Momoko and Hatch together? Why or why not?

He first said no, because Momoko is out of Hatch’s league, and has absolutely no interest in the man anyway; he also listened to what Toshio said about distractions. But he helped anyway, when Masashi won out.

Did the Ronin let Masashi/Masami cast the spell to help with the date?

He didn’t, as he knew that it wouldn’t work anyway—rain couldn’t make Momoko fall in love with Hatch; Masashi was also tired, and Teru didn’t want him losing any more energy than he already did. He got a slap in the face for his efforts.

How did the Ronin react to Momoko’s confession? Did they try to stop her from leaving?

Teru had already suspected Momoko’s feelings, but he was still surprised and flustered when he heard it the first time. To know that he was loved was something he treasured, dearly. He forced her to stay, and grimaced when he realized he was acting like Jun. Gensai did often say they acted alike.

Did they visit with the Baron? Yes, he was following what Toshio said about “learning more about the Baron.” He was shaken when the Baron displayed affection towards him, and threatened to bash the foreigner’s face in if he didn’t let go. THE MAN IS A DEMON, and he knew it the moment he saw those cat eyes during their duel.

#F I N A L L Y #I FINISHED IT #SHIT #ronin: teru #my son #my sONNN #samurai of hyuga #i forgot to tag it right i fukcing

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vdbstore-blog · 7 years ago

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New Post has been published on Vintage Designer Handbags Online | Vintage Preowned Chanel Luxury Designer Brands Bags & Accessories

New Post has been published on http://vintagedesignerhandbagsonline.com/brooke-shields-i-got-out-pretty-unscathed-fashion/

Brooke Shields: ‘I got out pretty unscathed’ | Fashion

Brooke Shields has just got back from a lunch at the Lincoln Center, to mark the opening of New York fashion week. At the event, Whoopi Goldberg honoured American designer Thom Browne with an award, and as Shields settles on a pink sofa in the all-white photographic studio where we meet, she tells me she can’t get Goldberg’s speech out of her head,

“I don’t know how old Whoopi is, but she’s got to be 60 or something… She said that it wasn’t until a few years ago that she started feeling comfortable in her own skin,” Shields says. “She’s standing up there and telling an entire room of Fashion Institute people, and Anna Wintour, ‘Think of all the time we waste not feeling good about ourselves.’ You know? It’s exhausting.”

At 52, Shields is in great shape, her athletic 5ft 11in frame maintained with daily workouts and sessions of ashtanga yoga. When the American luxury publication Social Life magazine asked her to pose in white Calvin Klein underwear for a photoshoot this summer, the resulting cover image went viral, setting the fashion world abuzz with rumours that Shields was about to appear in a new campaign for the label she had made famous back in 1980. Attending the Calvin Klein show at New York fashion week in February this year, Shields was mobbed by people wanting selfies with her. Among the guests at the Lincoln Center lunch was Martha Stewart, who marched straight up to Shields and told her, “I can’t wait to see you in Calvin Klein underwear.”

“I said, ‘Well, thank you, but that sort of happened as a fluke.’” In the original Calvin Klein ad, the one that launched a thousand imitations and became the gold standard for controversy-courting ad campaigns, Shields had asked, “You want to know what comes between me and my Calvins? Nothing.” So the underwear shoot, she says, was “kind of an in-joke. You know, what answers that question?” Besides, she says, “I thought, I’d never done underwear – it might be kind of a good message to be a 52-year-old being proud of everything, and being a mom, and working hard at staying in shape… We were just enjoying ourselves.” She gives a look that is at once dismissive and amused – a kind of what-can-I-do-if-I-still-set-the-fashion-world-ablaze shrug.

In the 1980 Calvin Klein ad, shot by Richard Avedon. Photograph: the Advertising Archives

In person, Shields is filterless and funny, hamming up the same vein of self-parody that proved so winning in her more recent comic outings on TV, in Suddenly Susan and Lipstick Jungle. She has just signed on to do five episodes of Law And Order: SVU – “Maybe more if I manage to stay alive,” she smiles. But despite the headlines, she hasn’t agreed to appear in any new campaigns for Calvin Klein. She was approached by the label’s new creative head Raf Simons last year, for her permission to use the 1980 image, shot by Richard Avedon, to be printed on shirt labels.

“I can show it to you,” she says, fishing out her iPhone and bringing up the iconic shot of her, scissoring her feet in the air in jeans so tight they look painted on. (Some stores provided sofas so that customers could lie down as they shoehorned themselves in.) In the TV commercial, Shields memorised and recited an excerpt of Darwin’s theory of natural selection, only to find the subject popping up in a quiz in her science class at school the next day. She got an A.

“I was 15 – it was 37 years ago. You know, it was a lot of work. And I wanted Dick [Avedon] to be proud of me. You just wanted a gold star, you know?”

Pretty Baby, 1978. Photograph: Allstar

The Blue Lagoon, 1980. Photograph: Rex

Endless Love, 1981. Photograph: Rex

Long before Miley Cyrus or Britney Spears, Shields was the most famous teenager on the planet. A shampoo model at the age of 11 months, she appeared in her first film at the age of nine, lit a blaze of controversy when she played a pre-teen prostitute in Louis Malle’s Pretty Baby (1978), and went on to appear in The Blue Lagoon (1980) and Franco Zeffirelli’s Endless Love (1981) – teen films sweet enough to give you toothache. In 1981 alone, Shields graced the covers of more than 30 magazines. A chaste pin-up, she peered out from her lustrous mane of hair, exotic but innocent, a lip-glossed naïf in a culture that has long sought to reconcile competing strains of libertarianism and puritanism. Shields’s virginity, proudly proclaimed in her autobiography, On Your Own, published when she was 20, was something of a national obsession. As was its eventual loss to her college boyfriend and future Superman star Dean Cain, at 22.

“I was famous from the neck up,” she jokes. “All the focus was on the eyebrows or the cheekbones, so you can imagine how easy it was to become a virgin.” She catches herself and laughs. “To stay a virgin, there was something very safe in that. It was a really interesting disconnect. You sort of desensitise yourself to anything sexual. In Blue Lagoon, I’m using a glue gun, taping my hair, anything I can so my body doesn’t show I have boobs… And I didn’t realise I was doing it, because I was a kid. I was in a cocoon with my mom. You know, we were one summer away from Grey Gardens.”

Shields detailed her enmeshment with her mother Teri, who was also her manager, in her unusually candid 2014 memoir, There Was A Little Girl. Her parents had divorced when she was five months old, and Teri raised her daughter alone in Manhattan. A glamorous, life-of-the-party alcoholic, “she drank and cursed like a construction worker” and would sometimes drunkenly haul Brooke out of bed in the middle of the night for a heart-to-heart or a dressing down, or interrupt journalists in the middle of interviews because her twentysomething daughter needed to “go tinkles”. Guarding her daughter’s virtue around the clock, she took control of her career, fending off agents and suitors alike, fearing that it would spell the end of her control over “little Brookie”. “I didn’t know where my mother ended and I began,” wrote Shields, whose immaturity was part of the “brand”. When the Brooke Shields doll rolled off the production line, her mother insisted that they alter the torso to represent her flatter chest. Yet she also pushed Shields towards sexually risque material – commissioning a photographer to take nude photos at 10, the role in Pretty Baby at age 11. Wasn’t she playing with fire?

At an Andy Warhol book launch at Studio 54 in December 1979. Photograph: Bettmann

“She tapped in to that, but by the same token, she wanted it to go away. It was a really interesting disconnect. I didn’t know she was so broken until later in life. She was so amazing on the one hand, but she was so broken.” Now, says Shields, whose mother died in 2012, she looks back and wonders: “Did I want it easier? No. I never wanted anything easier. I do sort of regret having hairdryers with my name on them and a Brooke doll and all these failed endeavours that were cool to do in the 1980s. I mean, what kid says, ‘I love my hair so much that I’m going to create a hairdryer with my name on it?’ Never once was I thinking, ‘I really want to do my own line of clothes.’”

Shields lost herself in her work. “If not for the entertainment industry, I would have been a train wreck,” she writes in her memoir. “The movie business kept me afloat and sane.” On movie sets, at least, her mother could be counted on to behave. Shields’s fame felt bigger than her mother’s addiction. She herself was notably abstemious. Hanging out at Studio 54 with Andy Warhol and Grace Jones, she stayed drug-free and was always in bed by 10pm. She platonically dated George Michael (“Nobody had ever been willing to move so slowly. It must be love,” she later said) and was friends with Michael Jackson. When the roles started to dry up, Shields headed to Princeton, where she earned an honours degree in Romance languages. After graduating and ending her relationship with Cain, she briefly dated Liam Neeson, before meeting Andre Agassi in 1993. The pair married in 1997 but the relationship ended two years later with the revelation that he’d spent part of it hooked on crystal meth. A classic co-dependent move, I suggest: marrying the man who reminds you of your alcoholic out-of-control parent.

With her mother Teri in 1980. Photograph: Ron Galella/WireImage

“Yes. Perfect. And no matter how you try to therapy yourself out of it, there’s clearly something on a cellular level that needs to work through. I think I got out pretty unscathed. Yet I also think I couldn’t have even been with my [now] husband had I not been in that relationship with Andre.”

She’s spent so much of her life running after other people’s chaos, cleaning up: does she wish she had come off the rails more herself?

“Oh yeah. I mean, I’m sure there’s still time, but somehow I didn’t become a tragic figure,” she says. “If I had I would’ve been celebrated. I could’ve come back from the brink and then they’d be like, ‘Oh wait, she seriously wants to be an actress’ or, ‘She’s really got talent.”’ Shields married television writer Chris Henchy in 2001 and has written about the postnatal depression she suffered after the birth of their first daughter in 2003. “Was that my going off the rails?” she asks herself now. “Not really, because it wasn’t a choice. I think my version of addiction was fear of losing control.”

With first husband Andre Agassi in 1994. Photograph: Rex/Shutterstock

A compulsive cushion-arranger, Shields says she fights a losing battle with her neatnik instincts in the Manhattan town house where she lives with Henchy and their two daughters, Rowan, 14, and Grier, 11. Both girls are now roughly the same age Shields was when she first started playing teen Lolitas – a milestone not lost on her. “I want to put a chastity belt on my girls, I get it,” she smiles. She’s finding it particularly difficult with her older daughter. “I’m going psychotic about what I’m dealing with, with men looking at her and looking at her body… I mean, this is my 14-year-old! At the top of the stairs I can see her rolling her skirt up. I’m like, ‘Unroll your skirt.’ It’s a constant negotiation.”

Yet, she says, her relationship with her own daughters couldn’t be more different from the one her mother had with her. “It’s like, ‘What do you mean you don’t think I walk on water? How dare you be so independent? Why are you so healthy?’ I’m like, ‘Wait a minute, I raised you like that?’ All of a sudden I’m jealous of my own kids because I’m thinking, ‘How dare you be so normal?’ You know?”

‘I love making people laugh. It gives me such joy.’ Photograph: Philip Gay for the Guardian

She and her daughters were watching Miley Cyrus perform on The Voice recently (Shields once played Cyrus’s mother in the Hannah Montana film), and she marvelled at the artist’s transition from Disney tween to sexually uninhibited pop icon. The assurance of today’s child stars is startling to her. “To see what she’s done with this princess, basically, adding this explicit, explosive depth to her persona. To see her just get up and start dancing – you watch it and you think, ‘That’s so cool. How did you do that? Where is my version of that?’”

She pauses to think.

“It came in comedy for me,” she says, with satisfaction. “I’ve got zero censorship. There’s something that takes me over physically and I don’t remember a lot of it. Maybe I substituted a little bit of that sexual energy there.” She laughs. “Well, isn’t it chocolate, laughter and sex all release the same endorphins? I love making people laugh. It gives me such joy.”

Cast as a quirky magazine columnist on the television show Suddenly Susan in 1996, Shields earned two Golden Globe nominations and a producer credit; and in 2008 played a movie executive in the alpha-female comedy Lipstick Jungle, adapted from the Candace Bushnell novel. She also played Joey’s delusional stalker in an episode of Friends – which involved maniacally licking Matt LeBlanc’s hands and giving him a passionate kiss, which she later wrote enraged Agassi so much that he smashed up his trophies. Comedy seemed to free her – the chaste teenager whose innocence was a national institution had turned into a blowsy comedian va-va-vooming it across the screen, complete with Lucille Ball-like pratfalls and double-takes. In comedy, she got to perform a kind of voodoo on the Brooke Shields doll.

With second husband Chris Henchy in March 2017. Photograph: Rex/Shutterstock

Shields says she was in Starbucks recently when a young woman asked her, “Can I show you a picture?” and brought out a photo of a for-sale maroon two-door 1983 Mercedes SEC she had recently taken in Jersey City. There was a bumper sticker that read “I ♥ Gstaad” and at the bottom of the sign, in parentheses, were the words “Previously owned by Brooke Shields”. It was the car Shields had bought for herself, two years after making Endless Love.

“Can you believe that? It’s dumb. You’re going to sit on a seat that I sat on? It’s creepy. It’s weird, right?”

She tracked down the seller and rebought the car. Her brother-in-law repainted and repaired it, and Shields now drives the Mercedes around on Long Island, where she has a house. Take it as a symbol of her reclaimed identity. These days, she will sit in meetings with companies who are interested in working with her, and keep hearing the word “brand” – “Well, it’s your brand, it’s your brand!” – and she’ll realise with some pride that, for the first time, her brand is bound up with her and her longevity, not her hair, or chest, or youth.

“I can sit at a lunch today and not think, ‘Oh, I’m so lucky to be here.’ I can think, intellectually, I can have a conversation with anybody. I’ve been around so long, I’m not scared to go and talk to Anna Wintour or whoever. And then I can also say, well, you did have an impact on the fashion industry. And I’m a mom, and I’m a businesswoman. I can go into these meetings now, and I’m not looking over my shoulder saying: is somebody on to me?”

• Commenting on this piece? If you would like your comment to be considered for inclusion on Weekend magazine’s letters page in print, please email [email protected], including your name and address (not for publication).

Styling: Bobette Cohn, assisted by Katherine Askerova. Hair: Dominick Pucciarello. Makeup: Meredith Baraf, both at Bernstein & Andriulli. Digi tech: Joseph Bourduin. Above: dress by Sonia Rykiel. Necklaces by Fruzsina Keehn. Top: sweaters by Sonia Rykiel. Rings by Ayaka Nishi and Kalevala Jewelry

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