#anyssa mcbride

[aricazorel]

tagged by @noire-pandora Thank you!

This is a short excerpt from my Dragon Age project featuring Cullen Rutherford and Anyssa McBride (my OC). It's complete but I still need to edit it more before posting it to AO3.

This scene occurs after Cullen and Anyssa's first excursion to the hot springs was interrupted. The Commander has seen fit to remedy that which leads to a little nervousness on both their parts, but it is nothing they cannot overcome together.

~ ~ ~

The earth woman watched as he held out his hands. “May I?”

Nodding without knowing exactly what he was asking permission for, she was surprised when he placed his hands on her hips and lifted her off the side of the pool with ease. She squealed causing him to grin as he took a few steps back and lowered her into the water. With his hands continuing to rest on her hips, he asked, “Better?”

“I—Yes,” Anyssa said. “I—umm—suppose I must seem kind of silly to you right now.”

“No. I am just doing a better job of hiding my nervousness than you are at the moment. I doubt that will continue,” he replied as he motioned with his head towards the other side of the pool. “There is a bench carved into the wall on that side if you wish to sit.”

Glancing over in that direction, she nodded. “As long as the water won’t come over my head.”

“Not there, it won’t,” he assured her as he guided her towards the bench. “Elsewhere…”

“Elsewhere?” she echoed suspiciously. “And you aren’t going to tell me, are you?”

“Well,” he said as he sat down, leaving her standing in front of him. “I had thought it would be the right thing to do but then I had another thought…what if I carried you?”

“Carried me?” she said as she realized she was discovering more about another side of the Commander that many didn’t see. He was mischievous and cheeky when he was motivated. That was going to make things interesting. “You want to carry me through deep water in a hot spring because?”

His smirk turned into a sincere smile. “It is an excuse to hold you.”

Her heart melted at his admission. “Cullen, you don’t need an excuse to do that. You can just do it.”

“Like this?” he asked as he leaned forward and pulled her into his lap as water sloshed around them. He laughed as she awkwardly threw her hands against his chest to keep her balance.

“Cullen!”

“Yes, my lady?”

“You—You did that on purpose,” she said in a pouting tone.

“I did,” he admitted shifted her in his lap. “This way I can make sure you don’t accidentally step in part of the pool where the water might be over your head. I promised to keep you safe, remember?”

“I had no idea that a date with you would be so dangerous,” she teased as she looped an arm around his neck.

“I—I didn’t mean—It wasn’t supposed to—”

“I’m joking, Cullen,” she assured him as she kissed his cheek. “I like this. I like being with you.”

Relief spread across his face as he kissed her forehead. “Oh good. I am glad you like this. I just wanted everything to be—”

“Perfect,” she finished for him.

“H—How did you know?”

“Myana mentioned that you wanted the wording on the initial note to be perfect,” she explained as she played with his damp curling hair. “I thought the same might apply here too.”

“It does,” he replied, cupping her face. “I want to show you how much you mean to me. To give you what you deserve.”

She smiled at him. Maybe one day he’d understand that simply having him in her life, being with him was enough but for now she would indulge his efforts. After all, he deserved this evening as much as she did.

[aricazorel]

Haven’t done this before but it looks fun...Send me an ask for my OCs listed below

(Trying something new for 2021)

Mass Effect: Kora Reese / Kaidan Alenko

Dragon Age: Anyssa McBride / Cullen Rutherford

50 Questions about your OC

How old are they?

What gender are they?

What is their romantic/sexual orientation?

How tall are they?

What do they look like? 

What are their defining features?

Does their name have a meaning?

What family do they have?

Do they have a good relationship with their family?

If not, why not?

Where do they live? 

Is it a safe place?

Are they poor, middle-class or wealthy?

Do they look up to anyone?

Who is their best friend?

Do they have any enemies?

Who is the person they hate most in the world?

Do they have any love/hate relationships?

Have they ever fallen in love?

Who is the person they love the most in the world?

Does that person love them back?

Have they ever hurt or lost anyone?

Are they a good shoulder to cry on?

Are they well liked?

How do they handle being complimented? 

Are they an affectionate person?

Are they very driven?

Are they very political?

What kind of state is the world that they live in?

What are the world leaders like?

Does the character worry about their place in society?

If the could change one thing, what would it be?

Do they like themselves?

Are they a good person?

Are they very forgiving?

Do they believe in destiny?

Are they trustworthy? 

Are they a good liar?

How do they react to criticism? 

What is their moral alignment?

Can they fight?

Would they ever purposefully hurt someone?

Have they ever been seriously injured?

Do they know first aid?

Do they have any other survival skills?

Are they a fast learner?

How intelligent are they?

What is the school system like?

What is their job?

Do they enjoy their job?

[aricazorel]

I was tagged by a couple of people in the past couple of weeks, but Tumblr ate my notifications and I've been busy with a new job. Anyway, here's a bit from my Dragon Age project featuring Cullen Rutherford and Anyssa McBride (my OC).

A woman from Cullen's past tries to come between the Commander and the Inquisition's lead historian resulting in a misunderstanding between them. Cole, as always, is there to help though.

~ ~ ~

“You make it quiet. He wants that. Like it used to be, but he doesn’t think he deserves it,” Cole’s voice came from above the historian. Glancing up she saw the spirit boy perched on the ladder she used to reach the upper shelves in the archive section of the vault.

Willing her heartbeat to slow down, she paused in her inventorying of dwarven artifacts. “Cole, what are you doing up there?”

“I came to help,” he said. “You are harder to hear than the others. I can hear you best when you are with him…You let the walls down.”

McBride knew the spirit could easily read any native of Thedas but being from Earth her connection to the Fade was faint at best. She could only guess that was why he couldn’t read her as readily as others. But what was he on about now?

“Help how? And who are you talking about?” she asked, the questions knowing full well who ‘he’ was.

“You were happy. Hopeful. So was he. Scared too. But then she came, and you were lost, angry. It felt like Earth but hurt more. It was almost louder than when he makes you smile. I don’t like it.”

“Cole, I appreciate your help, but I don’t—”

“He hurts too. In ways you know and some you don’t. He feels again and it scares him sometimes. But going back to the pain he knew for so long is familiar. It doesn’t hurt like the other…He’s afraid that is all he is meant to know, and she can give that to him.”

“She?”

“The bad lady Templar. She’s selfish, prideful. She doesn’t care about him, only what he can do for her. So, she is not miserable by herself.”

“Gower wants Cullen to be miserable?”

“He doesn’t want to be, but he is afraid to cover you in his darkness. He wants to see the light again. He wants to be with you in the quiet.”

“I’m the light?”

“You’re his light. Just as you see light in him…He doesn’t want Thedas to be like Earth, like the one who hurt you but he’s afraid even after everything that the hurt for both of you is too much.”

She remained silent as she glanced down at the artifacts spread across the floor in front of her.

“He wants to stop hurting. He wants you to stop hurting. But every time he does something right something goes wrong. He doesn’t know how he can make you feel the peace you make him feel. He thinks he might be too broken to repair.”

“He’s not broken.”

“The angry Templar lady thinks he is. That’s all they can ever be. She is jealous that he found a new life, a purpose, a family, a love.”

“Cole, Cullen doesn’t like it when you read him—”

“He wants to say what he feels but he doesn’t think it’s enough…He wants to show you, but he doesn’t know if it’s too late.”

She glanced back up at him in silence. The spirit leapt off the ladder coming to kneel in front of her. “It’s not too late, is it? I can’t heal your hurt or his. And neither one wants to forget…But you can help each other, make the hurt go away. Then there can be quiet for both of you.” Before she could respond, Cole disappeared. How could a spirit understand more than she did?

[aricazorel]

I was tagged by @noire-pandora and @raflesia65 last week. I’ve been writing but haven’t posted anything in like three weeks because it’s summer and been doing things with the family. So here is a little bit of what I’ve written for (dragon age) Cullen and Anyssa’s new story.

Cullen and Nyssa have experienced some troubles recently as a woman from the Commander’s past joins the Inquisition. Critical of Cullen’s new life and current choices, the woman from his past attempts to wedge herself between the historian and commander. To make things more complicated, the two realize there is more than just friendship between them. This is part of an attempt by Nyssa and Cullen to set things right between them.

~ ~ ~

Anyssa took a breath. She had never been able to refuse him when he pleaded like that. “Alright. I will be there.”

His face lit up at as he quickly kissed her hand. “Thank you, Nyssa. I…Thank you.”

She nodded as he continued to hold her hand. “I’ll go but you have to take care of yourself. I know you’re busy but you still—”

“I know—I realize now I have not been keeping my promise as well as I should,” he admitted as he looked down to their hands. “That is a failing I want to correct starting now.”

She furrowed her brow. “What do you mean? We’re just talking—”

“And that is something I’ve not been doing,” he interrupted. “I allowed myself to become distracted by my past. I took for granted what I had in my present. What was right in front of me.”

“What is right in front of you?” she echoed, looking into his golden-brown eyes. An intensity she’d only seen a few times before…and it was directed at her.

“Maker, have I faltered so badly that you no longer know how important you are to me?” he asked in a sorrowful tone. His hands moved to cup her face tenderly as he went on, “Please tell me you still know that I care for you…I always have—”

“You…You still care…and you don’t think I’m a distraction from your duties?” she asked uncertainly. “That I—”

“Nys, I have always cared for you. I know I do not show that very well at times but I promise that has never changed,” he reassured her. “And it never will.”

“But—”

“You are the best sort of distraction when I desperately need one,” he corrected with a small smile as he caressed her cheeks with his thumbs.

Her response was a grin of her own. “Cullen, you don’t have to say such things.”

“But it is true,” he insisted as he drew her into a hug.

Anyssa allowed herself to be nestled snuggly under his chin as he held her securely to his chest. With an arm wrapped around her shoulders and the other hand tangled in her hair, the Commander murmured, “I wanted to be distracted right now. By you. With you. Whatever you will allow.”

McBride took a breath, finding herself willing to take a chance one more time. “I…was looking at the stars, thinking about how we use to do that…maybe we could do that now? It could be a distraction for both of us.”

“I’d like that,” Cullen replied sincerely. Anyssa felt him shift his stance and then gently turn her to face the wall of the battlements. With his arms still holding her back to his chest, he added, “I learned somethings today I have been avoiding. I am sorry for what my blindness has caused. I hope you can forgive me…someday for my foolishness.”

“If—If we can talk like we used to—where no one interrupts or says they’re more important—then maybe—”

“Then we may try?”

“I want to do more than try.”

“So do I.”

“Then we do more.”

[aricazorel]

Tagged by @noire-pandora Thank you!

I have a few more chapters to write for this Dragon Age WIP before I edit the whole thing . It’s gone from a planned 16 chapters to being 20 now. Basically it is an alternative to the events that occurred between Cullen Rutherford and Anyssa McBride as detailed in my “Anchor” series on AO3. Instead of a slow burn it’s supposed to be a quicker discovery of their feelings for one another. (With some angst and fluff, mostly in equal amounts)

The following scene is set during morning drills after Cullen asked Anyssa to attend. Knowing she has a habit of watching from the battlements, he’d noticed her recent absence after a verbal altercation with a female Templar from his past. Trying to mend their relationship, he decided to take part in a sparring session just for her (possibly shirtless 😍) This leads up to that scene.

~ ~ ~

Anyssa watched the drills and the sparring, noting Cassandra commenting on their technique while Dorian focused on their…more physical attributes. She did her best to focus on the men and women practicing but her mind kept wandering back to Cullen who hadn’t moved very far from her. But there was also Knight-Captain Gower’s scowl from the other side of the field to contemplate. Cullen acted as if he knew something, his actions had a purpose. She hoped he were knew what he was doing.

Cassandra and Dorian had graciously agreed to come with her both as morale support and to annoy Gower. So far both goals had been met. Of course, Cullen had yet to participate in a sparring match. Something told the historian the Knight-Captain would either attempt to be his sparring partner or prevent the match from occurring to begin with. But knowing Cullen as she did, McBride did not see him allowing either event to happen. He seemed dead set on something and her gut told her it had something to do with what he’d found out or realized about Gower.

The Commander continued to occasionally shout out instructions or corrections as the drills continued. Never once did he go back to stand with Gower. Instead he remained on Anyssa’s side of the field, fully engaged in the drills his men were performing. It was nice to see him doing his duty without Gower clinging to him, whispering her opinions and the suggestions she always believed were the only way things should be. No room for compromise or another way with her ever.

“You’re smiling,” Cassandra said from beside her.

“And he doesn’t even have his shirt off yet,” Dorian noted with real disappointment in his voice.

“Tevinter,” the Seeker chided.

McBride giggled at their interaction before she confessed quietly, “He doesn’t have to be shirtless for me to smile.”

“But it does help doesn’t it?” the mage asked hopefully.

“Yes,” she replied with another giggle.

“Does this mean things are back to normal between you two?” Cassandra asked.

“Not exactly. Things are different,” McBride said as Cullen glanced back at her with a grin. “But maybe that’s okay.”

[aricazorel]

I haven't posted anything from my Dragon Age project in a couple of weeks so here's a little something. This story features Cullen Rutherford and Anyssa McBride (my OC) as they struggle to figure out their relationship as a woman from the Commander's past re-appears making them question everything.

This section takes place after Cullen does something to publicly declare his interest in beginning a romantic relationship with Anyssa. The Commander senses her worry about what will become of their relationship and worries about inference from others. Cullen attempts to reassure her with both actions and words.

[Obviously longer than what a last line is supposed to be, but it was the last part of a chapter so...🤷‍♀️oh well]

~ ~ ~

“So, it’s not just because of my injuries or that people are talking behind out backs again and you’re worried about how I’m reacting to it all,” she asked slowly as if to make sure she was listing off all his possible concerns.

“No, Nys,” he assured her as he reached for her hand. “It is as I’ve said. I want to spend the night here in your quarters with you and only you.”

Anyssa bit her bottom lip as she glanced down at his hand moving towards hers. “I—I would like that.”

“But you have a concern,” he noted as he took her hand in his. In truth, he would be surprised if she didn’t have any concerns at all given the events of the past few weeks.

“I—What if things get worse?” she asked. “What if she tries to keep—”

Cullen moved the chess board to the side as he moved towards her on his knees. “It won’t matter what Adelaide or anyone else does or says. Not if this is something we both really want. Correct?”

She nodded as he sat back down in front of her. He tugged her gently into his lap as he added, “This is where I want to be. With you.”

McBride shifted in his lap as she asked, “I know you want to be here, and I do want you here but…what if…”

She trailed off, refusing to meet his gaze. “What if what, Nys? What still troubles you?”

The historian shook her head, stubbornly remaining silent. Pleading for what still bothered her, Cullen hugged her to his chest tightly. “I cannot help put an end to your worry if you will not tell me what it is. Please allow me the chance to do so.”

He felt her take a breath before she began. “What if you change your mind? What if you find out I’m not what you want? What if you leave me because—”

Cullen couldn’t take her doubts any longer as he quickly tilted her head up and met her lips in a bruising kiss. Cradling her head with one hand while the other remained firmly in place around her waist, he poured everything he felt for the historian into the kiss. Slowly he felt her respond to him as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Between kisses he promised, “I am not like the person from Earth you were with before. I will never leave you. Ever. And if I am ever forced to be parted from you, I will always find my way back to you.”

[aricazorel]

Tagged by @noire-pandora Thank you!

A female Templar from Cullen’s past arrives at Skyhold with a unit of Templars skilled at fighting Samson’s Red Templar army. Even as he welcomes someone who knew him before the fall of the Ferelden Tower, his growing feelings for Anyssa are complicated by the woman’s arrival. What the Commander does not expect is their reactions to one another.

(Not edited. Any mistakes are mine)

~ ~ ~

“I’m fine,” she replied quickly, still not looking at him.

Cullen made a face, knowing from previous experience that her tone and saying she was fine meant the exact opposite. He gently squeezed her arm. “Nys, have I done something to upset you?”

He watched as she worked her jaw as the line moved forward again. Finally she glanced up at him, her ice blue eyes troubled. “It’s nothing, Cullen. Just something…It’s nothing.”

“It is not nothing if you cannot even tell me about it,” he insisted as they reached the buffet table.

McBride took the opportunity to fill her plate without answering his question or addressing his concern. Cullen followed suit but never took his eyes off of her. Something was wrong and it had something to do with him. Once their plates were full, he followed her to an opened table, purposely sitting beside her. He waited until she had finished cutting up her food before he tried again. He had hoped a few minutes of silence would have allowed her to gather her thoughts. Maybe even give him the answer he hoped for. Instead she remained quiet, focusing solely on her plate.

Setting down his fork, leaned towards her. “Nys, please. If I have done something to upset you…”

He watched as he lips trembled. Thankful no one else had taken a seat at their table yet, he turned fully in his seat to look at her. “Maker, Nyssa, what did I…”

Cullen trailed off as he realized the disappointed expression from the night before had been more than that. “Is this because I was escorting Adelaide at the reception last night?”

She continued to stare at her plate. “It was a reception for her and her unit. I was obligated to help make them feel welcome here and to introduce them to the Inquisition personal they will be working with. I have known her for years and it was only appropriate that I show her around. Adelaide will be working closely with us on Red Templar matters. You should—”

“Working with you,” Anyssa corrected as she glanced up at him. “I’m only a historian. I only study the thing that corrupts the Templars…Oh wait…I’ve never seen Red Lyrium so how could I study it?”

Cullen straightened up, taken aback by her tone and words. “This isn’t about…This is about Adelaide and what she said to you.”

Ice blue eyes simply stared at him. He sighed as he turned back to his plate. “They traveled three days almost non-stop to get here before the next snowstorm. A forced march will tire out any unit, even a one as skilled and experienced as hers. The Inquisitor did not greet her at the gate upon her arrival and refused to discuss the business Adelaide believed was important. I believe she was simply tired…and she is not accustomed to working with civilians.”

McBride made no attempt to hide when she rolled her eyes. “So that gives her the right to dismiss me out right and to insist that her way to correct in front of the Inquisitor?”

“Anyssa, why are you making such a fuss about this?” he asked honestly beginning to become annoyed himself. “It has all been corrected or will be later when Adelaide and Trevelyan meet.”

“You’re half right,” she muttered as she picked at her food.

“Half right?”

“Her issues with Evie can be addressed then. I doubt it will be that easy for me.”

“You could give her the benefit of the doubt.”

“Or you could tell her that I am not just some flunky running around Skyhold for show,” McBride snapped as she turned abruptly to him. “I earned my place here. I’m not just some…”

The historian trailed off as Cullen saw Gower approach the table. The Knight-Captain held a plate of food as she motioned to the seat across from him. “May I join you? It has been a while since I enjoyed a proper meal.”

“Of course,” the Commander said automatically with a smile.

He turned back around to face his plate as Gower’s gaze flickered to Anyssa. “I saw you talking to your historian. I hope I am not interrupting anything important.”

Cullen paused, waiting to see if McBride would say anything. When she didn’t, he offered, “We were just discussing her duties and what that might mean for your unit.”

Gower laughed as she cut up her food. “I highly doubt a historian could do anything for my unit. We are all well versed in the history of the Templars and Chantry. We all understand the Maker’s will and intentions. And I doubt battle tactics fall under her duties.”

“Addy, you needn’t dismiss her importance so quickly,” Cullen countered despite his current frustration with Anyssa. “She has helped the Order already.”

“Oh, and how? Writing the history of their demise by the Elder One?”

He sighed. “No. She is actively working with the dwarves to secure lost thaigs the Inquisition has discovered. In exchange for cataloging them and any artifacts we find, the dwarves had given the Inquisition a hefty discount on lyrium purchases. This benefits the Templars and the mages. Without her continued efforts, our lyrium supplies would be far less than they are.”

“But any diplomat can accomplish the same thing. Surely your ambassador is better suited to conduct such negotiations,” Gower replied without looking up.

“Anyssa has aided the Ambassador since Haven. She had forged strong relations with several parties, and they prefer dealing directly with her,” the Commander noted. “It helps Josephine as well. As the Inquisition grows, so does her duties.”

“Do you remember when we were still recruits? One of our instructors told us that the best Templars were those who devoted themselves wholly to being a Templar. If you try to be anything else you will not only fail yourself but the Maker,” Gower said. “I think by spreading yourself thin, you do the same thing. You take on too many duties that are outside your station you end up doing yourself a disservice as well as the Inquisition.”

“That’s not what Anyssa is doing. She—”

“She can speak for herself.” Anyssa interrupted firmly.

“Ah, so you can. And what do you say?”

“I say that you do not know me, Knight-Captain. Perhaps we got off on the wrong foot last night. Perhaps what Cullen said was true, that you were tired from your long journey here and that you are not accustomed to working with civilians. Be that as it may, you will have to work with a variety of people here. And I am one of them. If you care to try again with the introductions, I am will to as well.”

Gower glanced up. “Why?”

Anyssa was visibly lost for words. Cullen opened his mouth to say something, but the Templar cut him off. “You are a historian. You have nothing that I need. You could not possibly understand what it is like to fight the enemy we face. You essentially are of no use to me. I however am of great use to you as I and my unit will keep you safe.”

“Adelaide—”

“Will you show me how you have the training of recruits set up here and the lyrium stores?” Gower said turning her attention to Cullen. “I need to know if my men can participate or need to train separately, and I need to be reassured that you have the lyrium stored safely. The Templars should take precedence over…others.”

“I can but the lyrium is rationed out equally,” the Commander replied as he watched Anyssa stand up taking her full plate of food with her. “Nyssa, where are you going?”

“I believe I’ve lost my appetite,” she replied as she turned and walked away.

“Anyssa!” he called after her as she disappeared into the crowd.

“Let her go,” Gower said. “We have more important things to attend to than the feelings of your little historian.”

Cullen clenched his jaw. Breakfast had not gone at all as he had wanted it to. Now he was frustrated and worried about Anyssa in addition to being angry with Adelaide. They were supposed to have gotten along or so he had thought. Obviously, that wasn’t happening at the moment. Maybe he could work things out between them.

He picked at his food as he said, “I will help acquaint you with the routines and protocols we have here at Skyhold. But I must ask you to please refrain from demeaning Inquisition personal.”

“Oh, that’s sweet,” Gower cooed. “You care about the little historian’s feelings.”

“Adelaide,” the Commander said in a warning tone.

“Fine. But if she can’t handle the truth of being a soldier, how will she ever handle the truth of your past?”

Cullen had no answer. It was a question he had asked himself often and had never reached an answer. All he did know what that Anyssa remained in his life even knowing what she did. But what if she knew more? Would he be able to keep her in his life and would he ever be able to tell her about the growing feelings he had for her?

[aricazorel]

Tagged by @noire-pandora Thank you!

Another bit from my current Dragon Age project featuring Cullen Rutherford and Anyssa McBride (my OC).

A verbal confrontation with a woman from Cullen’s past causes Anyssa to remember things from her life on Earth she would rather forget. Concerned for her, the Commander searches for the historian as both realize somethings need to change or they will never have the future they both want.

(Not edited)

~ ~ ~

“Are you angry with me?” The question came out with her permission, a reflex from Earth she had tried hard to stop. She didn’t want anything from her relationship with Bryan to influence anything she did in Thedas but his ghost still lingered. “I mean—I ran from you—”

A thumb pressed lightly to her lips silenced her. “I am not angry with you and you need not ask such a thing. I believe I know why you did and why you ran but it does not matter. We are here now. Together. And you are not the only one who…is still haunted by parts of their past.”

She watched as he bowed his head. “Cullen, what—Don’t we need to talk about—”

“I cannot,” he said. “Not yet. I will—We will but we need some time. You need rest and I need to—to take care of something.”

McBride felt a bolt of fear strike her at his words, doubts about how he felt about her filling her mind. The Commander moved back, startled by her sudden movement. She cupped his face in both hands as she leaned her forehead against his as he had earlier in the garden. “Please don’t…Don’t leave. Don’t say you don’t want more…Please don’t say this has changed what you want with me. Please?”

Anyssa felt him stiffen under her touch as she realized just how much she wanted his words to Gower to be true. My choice is to have a future…with Nyssa. When he didn’t response she murmured, “I want to have a future with you too.”

She heard his breath hitch as she tilted her head, her nose bumping against his. Her lips grazed his for just a moment until she was gently pushed away just a few inches. Anyssa made a noise of disappointment mixed with confusion as she watched the Commander close his eyes. He swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down as he held onto her tightly. Confused and a little hurt as his apparent rejection, she opened her mouth to ask what was wrong when he stopped her.

“I can’t, Nyssa,” he admitted with a voice full of raw emotion. “No matter how much I want what you almost did, I can’t right now. We aren’t thinking straight. There’s been too much—Too much has happened tonight. I hope you can understand that.”

“But I—Isn’t that what you wanted?”

His golden brown eyes opened to meet her confused gaze. “Maker, yes. Of course I want that. I want that and so much more but I—I let her hurt you. I put you in that situation. I made you remember things you didn’t want to. I can’t give you what you need right now. I feel lost and I—”

Finally she understood. He blamed himself for Gower’s actions and for everything that had happened. Did he share some of the blame? Probably. Was he responsible for everything? No. McBride knew she could have done more including not pushing him that morning to meet with the woman in the first place. Quietly, she said as she moved one of her hands to cards her fingers through his curling hair, “I—I understand. I just don’t want to pretend that there isn’t already more between us anymore. I can’t. Not after what happened.”

She felt Cullen take a shaky breath before he said, “Neither do I but I need some time. Just a little bit to process what happened. To make sure I do not make another mistake. I need to know I can give you what you need.”

“What about what you need?” she asked as he gently pushed her back down to the mattress.

He gave her a weak smile. “She’s right in front of me.”

She returned his smile with a tired one of her own, feeling better than she had in hours. As he re-tucked her in, she said, “Don’t leave without telling me.”

“I promise, Nys,” he said as he leaned over and kissed her temple. “I’m right where I want to be.”

[aricazorel]

Tagged by @noire-pandora Thank you!

From my current Dragon Age project featuring Cullen Rutherford and Anyssa McBride. This scene has Cassandra visiting Anyssa while she recovers from an accident. Sharing her love of Swords and Shields with the historian leads to some interesting observations by the Seeker of Truth.

(As always more than six sentences 🤣)

~ ~ ~

Anyssa shook her head as the Seeker continued to vaguely describe some of the scenes, wondering how Varric had ever written such things. Then again it was Varric so that might an answer in itself.

Cassandra’s voice brought her back to the conversation. “Some of those scenes might be an inspiration for how things could progress with the Commander.”

Leveling a glare at the other woman, she said, “Really? You’re on about that too.”

“Well, you and Cullen are good for each other,” Pentaghast pointed out as she leaned forward in her chair. “His temperament is greatly improved when you are present. I believe I have even caught him smiling once or twice. It is adorable the way the both of you interact when you think no one is watching.”

“We are good friends,” McBride insisted. “We are—”

“Hopelessly in love with each other and refuse to acknowledge it,” the Seeker interjected quickly with a smirk. “But in all seriousness, why do you not simply tell each how you feel? You both have been through so much in your pasts. Do you not deserve the happiness you can give each other?”

[aricazorel]

A snippet from my current Dragon Age project featuring Cullen Rutherford and Anyssa McBride (my OC). A Templar Knight-Captain Cullen once knew has reappeared in his life with unexpected ramifications. Adelaide Gower is a Templar through and through and sees little reason to change. As Gower realizes that the Cullen she once knew is almost a completely different person does, her constant reminders of the past do nothing to help the Commander figure out his complex feelings for the Inquisition’s lead historian. That is where Evelyn Trevelyan comes in. Seeing her friends prospective relationship in peril, the Inquisitor offers some advice.

~ ~ ~

He felt the woman stare at him as he confessed his past with Gower, something he had only done in a limited fashion with Anyssa. Taking a deep breath, he continued, “Before the tower was taken over by blood mages and demons, she was reassigned to a unit that was tasked with tracking down the most dangerous apostates. After I was transferred to Kirkwall, she was used by Meredith several times because of her units specialty. We reconnected and I—We started a mutually beneficial relationship—no strings attached, no expectations. But that ended a year before Meredith died. She left Kirkwall and me behind when she realized I began to doubt the Order and my Knight-Commander. After I became Knight-Commander, she left for good. A difference in ideology concerning the future of the Templars and the direction I took the Order in Kirkwall.”

Trevelyan was quiet. Too quiet. Had he said too much? Did she think so little of him now because of his past with Gower? Did she think he should have told Anyssa instead? But how could he? It wasn’t something he was proud of now. It was—

“Do you still care about Gower? Have you acted on the arrangement you once had with her?” Evelyn asked with an edge in her voice.

The Commander turned to face her fully. “No. Those feelings died a long time ago. I don’t—She has hinted at beginning our arrangement again. I have told her no each time…I don’t want that any longer. I want more. I want to be able to love someone. To—to have someone be able to love me…But I wonder if I am worth loving…”

“Oh, Cullen, don’t you see?” the Inquisitor said softly as she came to stand before him. “Someone already does love you and I think you love her. That is more than many people ever have. Don’t let your doubts or someone else’s refusal to see beyond what they know convince you otherwise.”

Cullen swallowed thickly. “I want to help Adelaide see that things can be different but I don’t want to loose Nyssa. I—”

“Then don’t,” Evelyn said firmly. “Quit thinking you can’t be with her before you even are. You both need to get your heads out of your asses and just kiss.”

“Inquisitor!”

“You’ve almost done it twice or that’s what people say,” Trevelyan replied with a shrug. “The battlements seem to be a nice place to almost kiss each other.”

“Maker’s breath!” Cullen muttered as he felt his cheeks burn.

“Fine. Try this. There’s a party tonight for a Fereldan Bann. Find Anyssa and say nice things to her. Show her that she is the sole focus of the Inquisition’s General. Let her know that she matters to you. Show her. Don’t just tell her.”

“I can try.”

“You could try or you could just do it.”

“I don’t have experience with such things.”

“It’s Anyssa. She’s used to your awkwardness. I’m sure she finds it endearing.”

Cullen sighed. He knew talking to the Inquisitor might be hard but he had not counted on teasing. Yet she was friends with Anyssa who did possess a dry sense of humor. Finally he allowed himself a grin as his mind began making plans to spend the party with Nyssa. Hopefully it would go better than his last attempt. Hopefully…

[aricazorel]

Tagged by @raflesia65 Thank you!

A section from my current Dragon Age project featuring Cullen Rutherford and Anyssa McBride (my OC). The historian receives a note from Cullen delivered by his trusted messenger who happens to have strong opinions on the current situation between the Commander and Earth woman. (BTW- she doesn’t care one bit for the Templar woman from the Commander’s past much to Anyssa’s delight.)

~ ~ ~

A messenger flagged her down from the direction of the kitchens before she made it to the stairs. “Lady McBride! A note from the Commander.”

She changed directions and met the dwarven messenger half-way. It was Myanna Cander, Cullen’s personal messenger. Smiling at the female dwarf, she said, “I thought I said it was okay to call me Anyssa.”

“You did, but the Commander has a thing for decorum and being proper and all,” the dark-haired woman replied with a shrug.

“But he’s not here right now,” Anyssa pointed out as she accepted the note.

“But he would know. He always knows,” Myanna said ominously. “I like my job too much to chance his wrath.”

“The wrath of the Commander?” McBride asked as she unfolded the paper. “I think I might be able to sooth the Lion of Ferelden…or I used to be able to.”

“Oh, you still can, my lady,” the dwarf said with a wink. “I think you might have to after…well, you just might have to.”

She glanced up before she read the note. “What? It something the matter?”

Candor sighed. “I wasn’t supposed to say anything but it seems Knight-Captain Gower isn’t taking too kindly to the new standing orders the Commander issued. She seems to think they shouldn’t apply to her.”

Anyssa made a face as she returned her attention to the note. “When has that ever not been the case?”

She saw the dwarf shrug as she waited for her to read the note.

Nys~

I was just informed by Josephine that a small section of the hot springs can now be used for certain Inquisition personnel.. That includes you. Perhaps I will see you there tonight?

~Cullen

She allowed herself a grin as Myanna said, “He wanted me to wait for a response. Just a yes or no. I think he wants to have something to look forward to. Gower is not making it easy for him since she found out what he did to that noble last week.”

“That noble?” McBride repeated thoughtfully as she pocketed the note.

“Yes. The one he punched and broke his nose because he tried to get handsy with you,” Cander clarified. “Everyone keeps saying they’ve never seen him so mad except when it comes to trying to track down Samson.”

“Yes, well, Claremont had it coming,” the historian said quietly, not wanting to remember that part of the evening at all.

“Sorry. I shouldn’t have brought that up,” Myanna apologized. “It’s just that most of us think you’re better match for the Commander instead of the Knight-Captain. She’s…annoying and stuck-up and…well, a bitch.”

Anyssa did her level best not to smile at the messenger’s description of the Templar officer but failed miserably. “I shouldn’t say anything but…”

“You don’t have to. We all know how she treats you,” the dwarf said. “We’re just glad that you and the Commander seem to be on better terms now. I hope it stay that way.”

“So do I,” Anyssa murmured.

“So is the answer yes or no to what ever question the Commander wrote down as he smiled?”

“He smiled?”

“He always smiles when he talks about you.”

Anyssa felt a grin tugging at her lips as she said, “Tell him it’s a yes.”

[aricazorel]

Tagged by @noire-pandora Thank you!

A day late but have some Cullen and Anyssa goodness!

~ ~ ~

After an hour of reading Harding In Hightown, Anyssa McBride had snatched the book from the Commander’s hands. He watched in amusement as she flipped through the pages, looking intently at the illustrations. She had been relatively quiet as he read to her, asking questions more about the layout of Kirkwall or how the city-guard worked or if Hightown was really divided into different quarters based on nation of origin. Answering the historian’s questions the best he could, Cullen Rutherford chuckled as she continued to thumb through the book written by Varric Tethras.

“Nyssa, what are you looking for?”

“He didn’t put himself in this thing. At least not obviously so,” she noted as she held up the last illustration for him to see. “But he put his friends in here...This is supposed to be Hawke, isn’t it?”

Cullen rested his temple against his fist, his elbow on the chair’s armrest. “I was told Marielle was an amalgam of the Champion and her sister, Bethany.”

“He put all of his friends in here, and I bet you know which bloody characters they are,” she replied, narrowing her eyes.

He allowed a grin to tug at his lips. He truly enjoyed seeing her interest being piqued so much. Watching her be fascinated by something he took for granted often served as a reminder that he should be thankful for the things he had and the choices he had been allowed to make in the recent months. “Perhaps.”

“Cullen!”

“What?” he asked innocently. He knew she wanted to know but he felt like being cheeky. It wasn’t often that he allowed himself the option. Anyssa was always the exception to that.

“You know. Please?” she pleaded in a whiney tone as she set the book aside and leaned forward.

The Commander held his breath, not having expected her to come so close. The scent of her shampoo made its way to him. Cherry blossom. The soap and shampoo had become much easier to find once they had secured Skyhold as their base. Even with that, it was not every day he noticed the fragrance. She truly had no idea the influence she held over him…

Swallowing hard, Cullen said hoarsely, “I--I have ideas...Unconfirmed by Varric but…”

“Tell me, pretty please?” she asked again with doe eyes. Then again maybe she knew she had some influence…

He took a breath and leaned back in the chair, putting some distance between them. “Very well...Donnen’s name is based on the actual guard-captain's husband’s name. Donnic. His last name is supposed to be based on another member of the guard. As for Guard Captain Hendallen, she is based on Aveline Hendyr. Her name before marrying Donnic was Vallen.”

“What of the others?” she prodded relaxing in her own chair as she flicked her honey blonde hair over her shoulder.

Cullen watched the action with interest. He had come to like it when she wore her hair down. It had grown several inches since her arrival, and she had yet to cut it. He cleared his throat, willing his mind to concentrate on her question. “Yes, well, Maysie is Merrill, Captain Belladonna is Isabela, Ferris is Fenris...I believe Wael is Sebastian Vael while the unnamed healer is supposed to represent Anders…”

He watched as Anyssa frowned. “It seems like every character is based off someone he knew...Is that the case for Jevlen? Or Seamus...who of course is dead…”

“I have no clear idea about Jevlen...Bethany mentioned that the description not the personality reminded her of her twin brother, Carver, but Varric never met him. He died before the Hawkes were able to flee to Kirkwall,” the Commander explained with a shrug. “Seamus Dunwald might be based on Seamus Dumar, the Viscount’s son who died during the Qunari...problem.”

“Problem? They killed the Viscount and tried to destroy Kirkwall. Hawke had to fight the Arishok,” McBride exclaimed in shock. “That is understating the history of things, isn’t it?”

He shot her an amused grin. “I would point out that the lady that she already reminded me what the word interesting means. Perhaps my vocabulary is not up to her standards.”

“Or you could just enjoy annoying me,” she retorted as a grin graced her features.

They sat in contented silence for a few moments until the bells tolled. Cullen glanced up at the window behind his desk. Stars shown through the narrow opening. He sighed. “Perhaps we should call it a night, my lady. It is getting late and you--”

“Still haven’t read these other literary masterpieces Varric gifted you,” she finished for him, making no motion to leave.

He looked into her ice blue eyes, finding no desire to leave his tower. He found himself not wanting her to leave either. “I suppose we could at least begin one more…”

He was rewarded with the smile he treasured seeing each day. Anyssa reached for a thinner book from the bottom. The spine read The Dasher’s Men. He frowned; he had never heard of that one.

She opened it and flipped to the title page. “It was written in 9:18 Dragon...This is Varric’s first work...He actually gave you a copy of it! He said it didn’t sell as well as his others…”

Cullen settled back into his chair as he listened to her read the story of two casteless brothers caught in between the feuding Carta clans. Her voice eventually put him in a state of extreme relaxation. Something he had not experienced in a very long time. Between his duties, the nightmares, and his withdrawals it just didn’t happen, not to mention he did not know how to relax on his own. Yet a book read by a woman alien to his world was able to get him there.

His relationship with Anyssa had not made sense to him from the very beginning. As their friendship grew, he knew she was special. The near miss with the avalanche during the destruction of Haven had brought into focus exactly what he thought of her. Since then, he had found himself paying even more attention to things. The little things that he only thought lovers would notice. He had no practical experience with that. His friendships didn’t fare much better.

Regardless, he would keep his promises to her and would do damn near anything to keep her in his life. He glanced over at her with a slight tilt of his head. She paused glancing up to meet his gaze. She grinned and blushed but continued reading. Finding himself grinning as well, he decided he didn’t care about quantifying his relationship and instead wanted to focus on keeping it.

Maybe taking time now and then to read Varric’s questionable books with Anyssa would be a thing to work into his routine. He knew she would not object. He could figure out everything else later. For once, he had time

[aricazorel]

tagged by @noire-pandora Thank you!

This is another excerpt from a WIP featuring Cullen Rutherford and Anyssa McBride. A couple months after arriving at Skyhold, the two begin to believe there may be more to their relationship than simply friendship. Neither one is brave enough yet to explore those feelings but that doesn't stop them from supporting and caring for one another.

[language warning because Nyssa has a mouth when she's angry/frustrated]

~ ~ ~

The former Templar stood outside the vault where the historical items recovered by the Inquisition were archived. It was one of the places he knew to look for McBride if she were not in her study, her room, or Josephine’s office. He heard muttering down the narrow hall leading to the vault and instantly recognized it as Nyssa’s annoyed voice. Apparently, something was not cooperating with her the way she thought it should. He smiled as the muttering became more colorful. Not many knew of her tendency to curse unless you were privileged enough to drink with her in the tavern or were the one she vented to when things troubled her.

He made his way down the hall to find the door was indeed open and the historian was struggling to push a crate back onto a top shelf. As he entered, he found her perched precariously at the top of a ladder, reaching over to her left farther than was ideal for the position of the ladder. He stood silently at the door as she continued to curse the crate, oblivious to his presence.

“Stupid fucking dumbass crate! Why can’t you just go back where you fucking belong?” she muttered as she gave the wooden box one last push. While the box did end up back in the proper place, her efforts also resulted in the ladder tipping off balance.

Anyssa screamed as she toppled off the ladder only to be caught by the Commander. She glanced up at him in surprise as she realized she’d been saved by his quick reflexes. As he held her bridle style to his chest, Cullen asked with concern, “Nys, are you alright? Why were you reaching so far? You could have been hurt if I hadn’t come to see you.”

“You were coming to see me?” she asked, completely ignoring his question. Her expression one of wonder as she gazed up at him.

“Well, yes. I was—I have completed my duties for the moment and thought to take a break,” he stammered, very aware that she was still in his arms. “I—You always insist I should take one when the opportunity presents itself…And I thought of you—That is how you’ve helped me, and I wanted to talk to you…and see you…”

He trailed off as she gazed at him with a shy grin. “What?”

“You’re rambling,” she murmured with a slightly amused tone. “It’s adorable.”

The Commander caught off guard began to blush. “I—I do not believe I have ever been referred to as adorable before.”

She suddenly became unsure of herself as she shifted in his arms. “I didn’t mean to insult you. I just—It’s nice to see you not being a soldier all the time.”

He frowned. He had been a soldier all his adult life. He had trained since he was 13 to be a Templar while dreaming of that life since he was 8 years old. He knew nothing else, yet Nyssa said he was more than that. Was that true?

“I—I do not know how to be anything else,” he admitted sadly as he set her down gently, refusing to take his hands from her waist.

She smiled at him, encouragingly as her hands rested on his shoulders. “Yes, you do. You just think you don’t.”

“Nyssa, I am a soldier,” he stated firmly, relying on old tendencies to see him through an uncomfortable situation. “I do not have another purpose.”

“I’m a historian by training but that is not all that I am,” she reminded him as she tilted her head. “I’m a writer, a mediator thanks to Josephine, a friend, a person trying to find their way in a new world while they try to make a new life…and maybe a source of support for someone who needs it.”

The last part of her statement he knew was directed at him. What he didn’t understand was her hesitant tone when she said it. Surely, she knew he valued her efforts and her mere presence made everything he went through easier to endure. His thoughts went back to his earlier realization. What if she needed more than just actions but words?

He cleared his throat as he began slowly, fully aware that words in this type of situation were out of his realm of experience. “Nyssa, I—I wanted to talk to you. I should tell you something…I owe you more than I believe I have made clear. I—”

“You don’t owe me anything, Cullen. We’re friends, and friends help each other,” Anyssa interjected as she cupped his cheek with one hand, her thumb lightly grazing the scare that bisected his lip. “They support each other…And you support me too, don’t you?”

He nodded as he leaned into her touch; a touch he had somehow become accustomed to and…looked forward to. But more than that he wanted her touch…

Cullen placed a gloved hand over hers as he closed his eyes. “I hope I do. I have doubts sometimes but you…you make them meaningless. I—”

He opened his eyes to see ice blue ones staring back full of wonder and something else he couldn’t quite place. Something he’d seen before but still had no name for. The Commander squeezed her hand as she asked, “You said you wanted to see me…Would he mind taking a walk then? The evening meal isn’t for another hour or so and I think I’ve had my fill of ladders for today.”

Golden brown eyes darts to the ladder which now leaned at an odd angle against the shelves. He chuckled. “I would whole heartedly agree, my lady.”

“Then you’ll—”

“I would be happy to take a walk with you, Nys,” he said in a soft voice as he let go of her and offered his arm.

She smiled up at him as she took it. As they left the archives, he realized that was the smile he always wanted to see. It never failed to brighten his mood. His heart always fluttered at the sight of it. While he would always want to see that smile, it made him wonder again if something more with Nyssa was possible. Could Dorian be correct? Was he worthy of such a chance?

[aricazorel]

tagged by @noire-pandora Thank you!

This is a small except from the final chapters of Anchor: Ripples. The fate of the Inquisition has been decided. All that is left is for its members to see it through.

Read Ripples from the beginning here on AO3

~ ~ ~

Pentaghast entered the room as Cullen turned back to his friends. He remembered the very first time they had entered it shortly after Trevelyan had been made Inquisitor. It had been a hopeful yet cautious time. Now it was…bittersweet.

Softly, he broke the silence. “So, this is where it ends.”

Leliana perked up at his comment, echoing the opposite sentiment from the beginning of their journey. She shook her head. “No. It ended the moment Evelyn declared the Inquisition’s disbandment in Halamshiral. This is where we turn that action into a promise.”

Josephine glanced over at her long-time friend. “But what promise are we to make?”

The Spymaster tilted her head towards Evie with a knowing grin. Trevelyan arched an eyebrow as she took Josephine’s hand in her right as she answered her wife’s question, “We promise each other that neither time nor distance will keep us from staying in touch with one another and that we will always answer a call of help from our friends.”

All acknowledged the promise, but it was Cassandra who went further. “I do nothing that is not worth doing with all my heart…You have become more than my friends. You are my family. You do not turn your back on family. No matter the time or distance we will always be family.”

Cullen couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face. He could not have said it better himself. No matter what happened, no matter where life took them, they would always be family. Always.

[aricazorel]

tagged by @noire-pandora Thank you!

This is from a WIP Dragon Age featuring Cullen Rutherford and my OC--Anyssa McBride (from my "Anchor" series). It's a little rough but the whole premise of this WIP is what if they had realized their feelings for one another sooner. (Plus, just another excuse to write more stories for these two)

~ ~ ~

Just a day after meeting her Cullen had promised to protect her and show her kindness. It had been an impulsive act; one he was still trying to rationalize. Of course, those around him that he now called friend were quick to assume it was more than friendship. That he and Anyssa were in fact destined to become a couple. He never let those comments encourage him to take their relationship in that direction. That was until recently when his thoughts began entertaining such things without his permission. If his mind continued to conjure up scenarios where they indeed became more than friends, then is that what he secretly wanted? Was it even possible?

~ ~ ~

I'm a little late with this so just tagging anyone who would like to participate

[aricazorel]

tagged @noire-pandora Thank you!

This is from future chapter of 'Anchor: Ripples' featuring Cullen Rutherford and Anyssa McBride--the lead historian for the Inquisition. In this excerpt, Cullen has gone to ask another favor of Josie. As they discuss what it entails, they find themselves talking about what the future might be like after the Inquisition depending on the outcome of the Exalted Council.

Read from the beginning here on AO3

~ ~ ~

Cullen made a sound of acknowledgement as he considered what the Ambassador offered. “I would need to make sure Anyssa knows nothing of this…”

“You think I would tell Nyssa?”

“Not intentionally,” he said as he smirked. “I would like the time and place to be a surprise…”

Josephine allowed herself a grin. “I can guarantee the utmost discretion. I can also promise you that this will be ready by the time we arrive in Halamshiral so you can personally inspect it.”

“Halamshiral?”

“Yes,” the dark-haired woman sighed as she made notes on her ledger. “The Exalted Council will be held at the Winter Palace. It was included in the announcement to Ferelden and Orlais yesterday.”

The Commander growled softly as she glanced at him. “Perhaps not all that happens there will be terrible…You could take the opportunity to arrange a romantic rendezvous with her there…The gardens are quite lovely.”

He narrowed his eyes, feeling a little mischievous. “Or you could propose to Evelyn…Or perhaps she could propose to you.”

Josephine let out a nervous giggle as she shook her head. “I don’t think…Evelyn will be much too busy to contemplate such a thing…But it would be romantic…”

Cullen chuckled as he sat up straighter, noting her dreamy tone. “You know…Nyssa says that on her world it is not uncommon for either partner to initiate a marriage proposal. If Evelyn will be busy as you say, why could you not take the initiative and propose to her? Surely something good must come out of all this unnecessary pomp and circumstance.”

Montilyet bit her bottom lip as she glanced at the design of the paper Cullen had given her. “I—I had not considered that…Perhaps you are right…”

The Commander grinned as he caught the wistful look in the Antivan’s eye. Clearly, he wasn’t the only one who had plans for the future with the love of their life after the end of the Inquisition. Now if they could only get there without any complications.

tagging @raflesia65 @shadoedseptmbr & and anyone else who wants to play. No pressure, just fun!

(I’ve lost my tag list again, let me know if you want to be included in things like this or not)