#i think what made it worse was that it was clearly just he didn't understand the social cue and that's what cost him
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multipleoccupancy · 5 hours ago
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Theo saw Violet's smile fall and he paused, almost frozen as he considered what to say or do to remedy the situation. In the moment he was once again too nervous to reach out to comfort her, something that might have been picked up on in his cautious check of the doorway. Luckily Samantha was there to help and Theo nodded for her words while he watched Violet, sensing there was more there that he wasn't seeing, alarm bells going off as he studied her.
Even with Samantha talking of the last time the pair had met Violet did not smile nor really engage with her. Her only response was a reply into her soup as she tried to hide her face behind the bowl. Feeling a little lost, Theo was again grateful for Samantha's presence as she clearly worked out what was going on while he struggled. Was she blaming herself for what was going on?
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"Samantha is right, none of this is on you." He insisted, though he had to think of something else to reassure her other than just his word, he knew he had to get her to follow some sort of verbal path to understand that he didn't blame her at all. She was unfortunately a trigger for him but that too was not her fault. "You were sent there, against your will and made the best of a bad situation as you always try to do. You were invaluable company for me, remember." He drew in a shaky breath because it was so long ago but so very recent too, it made his head spin in thought.
"Something would have triggered it, I imagine it would have been much worse if you hadn't told me and I remembered anyway." His eyebrows dropped into a small frown as he thought about what might have happened if he had been away on a mission with such a revelation. Really, he was fortunate in his circumstances. "It's better this way," he tried to voice that train of thought without really explaining it. "I'm safe at home." Though he didn't sound all that convinced it was again just a matter of jumbled delivery of his tone.
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𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐎 & 𝐕𝐈𝐎𝐋𝐄𝐓 @multipleoccupancy
"I wanted to help," explained Violet, blushing a little bit, because surely her dad knew that she always got restless around the house when she was trying to ignore what was going on in her mind. She smiled at his thanks.
But her face fell at his response. Her dad wasn't feeling better. She immediately blamed herself for looking so defeated, but she couldn't find it in herself to smile again. "Your dad just needs time," chimed in Samantha with a gentle voice, "but you're helping a lot, Violet." Oh, how she wanted to believe that she was helping. But it was also her fault if her dad was so rattled. She had broken something inside him, and what if he could never fix it?
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"We met before, but we didn't have much time to talk," said Samantha, giving Violet a friendly wink. Violet tried to smile, but she just couldn't. She took a sip of soup instead. Even her father's thanks didn't seem to cheer her up.
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"You don't have to thank me," she replied, her eyes planted on her soup, before taking another sip, mostly to hide her face behind the bowl.
While Samantha agreed that no thanks were needed, she could tell this was not the issue. "None of this is your fault, Violet. Anything can trigger repressed memories; there is no controlling them. Even if you hadn't told your dad you were Mauve, something else would have brought back his memories eventually."
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suguru-getos · 1 year ago
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୨・┈﹕✦﹕ Kinktober Day 24﹕✦﹕┈・୧
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-> Event Masterlist
Geto Suguru x F!Reader -> Size Kink
Summary: After returning from your trip, you found out your boyfriend is not okay. Maybe a vacation (To Venice) ;) would help. (Mentions of Deppressed!Suguru, angst, breakdowns, toothrotting fluff and comfort, Satoru being a wonderful best friend, Suguru healing) ❤️‍🩹 Basically hurt-comfort with size!kink 😭
Warnings: Angst, breakdowns, Suguru’s deranged and suc!dal and has murderUrges, Reader (us) comfort him and pull him out from it. Mentions of reader’s breakdowns, cus I mean— 🤷🏻‍♀️ Look at him!!?? Nipple-play, breeding, softsex, sensual, FLUFFY AND NICE AND SUGURU’s so Spoiling towards us it’s just 🙈
A/N: Guys I had sm fun 🥹😵‍💫🩵 writing this I swear!! Hurt-comfort is like my favorite thing in the whole wide world <33 I love to characterize Suguru & to play around with his character. *Screeches and screams* 🍨🍦 I made him yummy thank me later xx Also can we look at the images of him above 🥵 size kink BRRRR
"If you really think, you can do everything, take everything in, save people, and somehow save yourself along with the deceitful thinking that you will protect me. Then you're wrong!" Tears welled up in your eyes, the pain clearly imminent in Suguru's eyes. He looked dead inside, and no mourning was soothing your ache for your older Suguru. You just, missed him beyond beliefs… even when he was right beside you. You hoped he would response to your cry of pain, your bleeding words, but he didn't have it in him anymore. Suguru had almost, given up on himself.
Your hands found themselves clasping onto his collar, pulling him closer to you. "Suguru, look at me, I am telling you something. Can't you fucking see how much it hurts!" You screamed, losing your calm, your temper. It felt ironical to complain to him about how much it's hurting you. You can see he's got it worse; the nights full of terrors and the days full of decaying cursed spirits. You were an empath for your lover, and it was clear staying near him was subjecting you to everything he felt. He doesn't want to see you this way, desperate and hurting…
"I'm sorry, Angel." Suguru sighed, wrecked with the way you burst into tears and hugged him. Voice choking onto sobs as you earnestly tried clutching onto him for dear life. "Sugu, come back to me please come back…" You cried, wailed and eventually dropped onto your knees. The incomprehensible feeling, the heaviness of the things Suguru was going through was making you breathless.
Suguru's heart was only breaking further apart, watching you slowly scrape away in front of him. "I want to kill myself." He finally spoke up, "No, truth is, I want to kill everyone."
This was the first time Suguru was opening up, and no matter how brutal it sounded, his eyes were still kind. Maybe because it was you, in front of him. "You are a sorcerer, too, I shouldn't say this to you, but I hate those monkeys." He radiates pessimism and negativity through him. Yet, you smile a little.
"Come with me, go away with me." You held his hands, squeezing them tightly as if you were grateful they're not cold. You truly were. They were warm, they were still your Suguru's hands.
"Please, Suguru, let's go away for some time." You urged, and he knelt with you, hugging you tightly, not caring about the whimper that escapes you because of his firm grip.
"Running away, won't solve anything." He echoed, and you felt your stomach sink. Soft sniffles echoing in the room as you shook your head like a tantrum-y child.  "No, we will solve everything. You and I, we can solve everything. No matter what it is." You cupped his face, becoming stronger for him. "It's okay to feel like this Suguru, it's okay. I'm here." You nudge, watching his eyes showing signs of at least, some life in them. "Can you, not give up?" You meant on himself, you meant on everything.
To make sure, he understands… you hummed again, "makes me feel like, I'm being abandoned."
Suguru blinked at that, letting your words settle deep within. "Makes me feel like, I'm not even worth fighting for." You looked down, not having the guts to say this to him while making eye-contact. "Please, let's elope somewhere Sugu." You crooned, babying him almost. "I will follow you to the ends of the earth anyway, even if your path is changed." You hum, and with the way your pupils fixated on your hands intertwined, Suguru knows you mean it.
"Okay, maybe… I do need a little get away." Suguru smiled tenderly, partial charm returning to his eyes.
Oh it felt like rain in famine, "Good, thank you, I love you."
"I love you too, my Angel."
---
The next thing was you booking tickets to go to Europe. You urged Satoru and Yaga to not assign any more missions for Suguru. It was hard, you and Suguru were both powerful special grade sorcerers; but hey- you both had Satoru to rely on. "I told you the moment he lost weight, he wasn't doing okay." Satoru scoffed, rolling his eyes, tapping at his feet impatiently in the café you decided to meet him in. "What the fuck is up with being the one to hide things?" Satoru was pissed, why would his best friend not communicate? "Makes him feel less of a man?" You chuckle at that, you knew Satoru loved him almost as much as you did. "I've persuaded him to go on a trip with me." "You did?" Satoru was… amazed. These days, Suguru wasn't even joining in for any normal outings. Wasn't going out of his house for weeks, wasn't even meeting you. Things worsened when you left to Korea for a mission longer than 3 weeks. You had to stay there for some Jujutsu School Collaboration initiative. That's when Suguru was off his leash, truly at his worst. Taking missions more than he should, succumbing to the darkness of his mind and the curses.
"Just, want you to handle things while we're gone." You sipped onto the iced frappe you've ordered. Meanwhile Satoru ate a mochi, seemingly absent-minded and bored. "You don't have to worry about that, you know I'd do that in a heartbeat for him." He bratted, raising a brow at you. "And you…"
You smiled at that, nodding gently. It felt good to have the 'Strongest' so whipped for your boyfriend, and platonically you, as well.
The higher-ups posed a threat, as always. 'Why is Suguru Geto not on missions?' ; 'Did he get off the job of a Sorcerer?' especially the cunt-faced Principal of Kyoto. You and Satoru personally paid him a disrespectful visit at his school. Nothing he can complain against, wouldn't sit well to anger two special grades, will it? Despite showing that the Sorcerer world is only filled with people who are willing to take on the role- example: Nanami switching from corporate jobs to a sorcerer job… it was still, at the end, a disgusting, foul powerplay hidden beneath shackles of rules. If you are a special grade sorcerer, they'd do anything to hold on to you. Even blackmails are not far off the list. Emotionally draining…
---
"I have booked us a flight to Venice, baby." You sat cross legged on the swing chair Suguru's house has, fondling with your iPad and searching for hotel venues. "Venice huh." Suguru was still numbed, but at least, not he couldn't avoid you because practically you lived with him now. "Yeah, we can go to Switzerland, and also wherever you want. I hear Germany this time of the year is beautiful." You croaked excitedly, swaying your legs as he walked towards you, sitting on the chair in front of you. "Satoru told me you and I are on a vacation for months." He came directly on the point. "The trip isn't that long, is it?" He manspreaded, raising a brow.
You gulped, smiling softly, the last thing you need is him feeling 'weak'. You had to approach this carefully. "Suguru, I think you and I have done enough missions for a while. I want us to spend some time together, to ourselves." You added some degree of truth, "Also, I don't want you to keep eating curses and letting them eat you from the inside and I don't want to lose the person I love the most in my fucking life." With the way you affirmatively snapped, there was no way, Suguru would battle against it. A soft nod was all you got as a response.
"Alright, I will handle the packing. Don't want you screeching like a wild animal when you discover you forgot your charger." He leaned in, giving you a chaste peck & you giggled. "Of course."
---
The packing, the preparations, the dressing up and going to the Airport, the flight where you slept leaned against his shoulder. All went by in a tender haze of beautiful memories. Inflicted and infected by his sadness, still. Though you wouldn't mind. You're ready to accept him rotten if needed.
When you two reached Venice, the Victorian style hotel with the boats and the beautiful lakes was in fact, refreshing for him; and you. You knew it because Suguru had stopped going to your shared balcony of the house, now here he was, standing there, observing the people. The couples giggling and kissing each other, the boat rowers singing in their native Italian language, the streets with so much hustle and bustle… yet calming. You hugged him from behind, breathing in his scent. "Like it?" "Love it, my beautiful baby." He crooned back, turning towards you and pulling you closer to him by your hips. "I love you." He chanted, almost in a way that he used to when he first asked you out. These past few months were hard and rough, but if you were able to have him back, even infinitely slowly… you'd dedicate it to eradicating all his sadness.
"If you want, I can dress very Lana Del Rey today and we could make steamy love." You giggled, leaning in and kissing him softly. Suguru and you… yeah, haven't made love in a while. You'd never push him when he isn't feeling it, and naturally, someone who's suffering so much would have it at the last thing on his mind.
"You're right, how disappointing of me… I don't remember the last time I treated you, I worshipped you." He thought out loud, and you pouted. "It's okay Suguru, don't think about it like that. Think about how you're gonna make it up to me." You stuck your tongue out, giggling.
It's the way he looks at you, like he's starving and you're delectable. It's the way his eyes are loud enough with their projection of love that it quiets the world down for you. It's the way Suguru Geto breathes, that makes you love him so much you'd break.
Right now, he's doing the same thing… being himself. Hands wandering to your sides and helping you wrap your legs around his waist as he walked towards the shared bedroom of the hotel. Leaning in and kissing you passionately, shoving his tongue just to show how much he's been deeply yearning. Admiration coated in every action. "So lucked out that I have you." He smiled to himself, kissing your forehead deeply once you were nestled into the succumbing softness of the mattress.
"Same," you grin back, watching him undress you with his eyes first, and then his hands followed. You mimicked the same movements.
"I can't handle the fucking hotness!" You whined, once he was left in his pants, upper body naked for you to devour. Suguru chuckled, heat rushing through his cheeks and core as he cupped your face, kissing you once again.
The thing about you and him is, Suguru is big. He's built like a bulky man. Stretched to 6'3'', broad shoulders that'd hold two of you, hands big enough you miss almost an inch if you were to compare his with yours. Yeah, Suguru was big and you were tiny. Something that only aided to you being subbier and smaller to him. Letting him manhandle and take all the control that he wants to.
"Who do you belong to, darling?" He cooed, watching you instantly answer. "You, forever and always."
It warms his heart when he hears that, spreading your damp pussy lips with his fingers and thrusting a finger into you. It's been… long. He knows it with the way you're clamping for dear life, just on his digit. "Sh-i-t," You croak out, while Suguru hushed you with a soft kiss, slowly moving his finger in and out of your pussy. Once he felt you had accepted his finger's girth, he inserted another one. "AH god-" You whined, mewling at the delicious stretch of his thick and long fingers being coated with your essence. "You want to make sweet love and you're so worked up with the fingers alone." He chuckled to himself, stretching you out so good, curling them against the familiar sensitive spot.
Your back arched, the way your pussy clamped as if she was a slave to his hands and cock.
"Oh she's close." He cooed, "Go on, cum for me then I can ruin you with me." He kissed your pelvis, holding it down as your orgasm raked through you, approaching fiercely and shuddering your body against him as waves of pleasure took over you. "Good girl. Good little girl." Suguru praised, riding it out for you. Once the orgasm's high settled, Suguru took out his fingers and suckled onto them, eyes never leaving yours.
"Want you, so bad!" You gasped out, pulling him closer to you by wrapping your legs around him, feeling the imprint of his cock into you. "Alright alright, impatient little girl." He smirks, pushing the tip of his pre-leaking cock into you in one swift stroke. Mean, Suguru Geto is mean sometimes… especially when he wants you to be scream at the stretch only he can give you. No one else, he wants your pussy to know only how he feels. Damn he's big, and when he pushes himself balls deep, your pussy is strained beyond its limit. "Shit- s- so big Sugu." You whimper out, tearing up at the ache.
"Ssh, it's okay darling. I'm still. Adjust to me, go on." Suguru patiently waits, kissing your face all over, leaning in and kissing your breasts, suckling onto your nipples while you clamped and waited for the pain to settle in.
"Move, please…" You glance at him now, doe-eyed and insatiable.
"Of course, took you some time to adjust to me huh? Tiny little baby." He smiles, thrusting into you without relent. Your womb stops him from going in any further, your insides torn apart deliciously at the feeling of being ploughed by him. "Oh- G- oh God," words fail you, the air choked out of your lungs with how good it hurts, with how pleasureful it feels.
Suguru's hand laced around your pelvis, pressing on it gently. "Got you," He smirks cockily, holding your hand and keeping it on your pelvis, enveloped by his own as he pressed.
A shrill scream filled the room, "Oh you can sense it, can't you sweetheart? Sense how deep I reach?" You moan at the pressure, pushing you closer and closer to the edge as you hopelessly nodded. Gasping and choking on air. "God yes, Sugu- AH please- oh my- g'nna," You whimpered, while Suguru was at a rhythmic pace now. Sometimes pulling all the way out and pushing back all the way in. He loved seeing you walk the rope between pleasure and pain.
"Good girl, with the way you're holding onto me, I can sense you're close." Suguru hummed, grounding you with his kisses, his spoiled little praises.
"Go on, show me how much you missed me."
"Just like (thrust) I (thrust) missed (thrust) this (thrust) pussy-" Suguru toppled off the edge right with you, painting your insides white with his warmth. "Oh god- fuck-"
You shudder, spasming around his cock and milking him further.
"That's it, I got you. I got you." Suguru reminded, leaning in and kissing you softly, tenderly, as if you'd break if he were to touch you wrong.
"I missed you, I missed this." He mused to himself, blushing a little at the sight of you fucked out and half-lidded. You nodded, still taking ragged breaths. "I love you"
"I love you too, Angel."
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houseofhyde · 3 months ago
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thinking abt aemond falling in love w blind!reader.
pairing. aemond x fem!reader warnings. no use of y/n, enemies to friends to lovers, ableism, so much fluff, a little bit of smut, angst (who said that). no mention of the reader's physical description. wrote in one sitting, no edit, we die like real men. wordcount. 3.1k (this was meant to be a short silly drabble) hyde's input. couldn't get this out my mind so, naturally, i'm making it your problem too now. enjoy, muah x disclaimer ! i'm not visually impaired but i do have several family members who are, to different degrees, and i've tried to stay true to what i remember them describing it like to me. the reader in this is completely blind, however, and that is something i do not have any experience in. please, if you feel anything about my portrayal is wrong or offensive, kindly let me know and i will happily fix it <3
the first time you meet is a few days after the events on driftmark.
with his new disability, the septa encourages alicent to change his usual lessons alongside his siblings for ones held with a couple of other impaired children of highborn status living in the keep.
aemond, of course, protests.
nearly kicking and screaming.
yells at his mother that he doesn't want to be thrown in a box with all the other "broken toys".
he ends up going anyway, dragged there by a handful of guards.
sulks throughout the whole first week, sitting alone in a corner.
and he would've continued to do that forever, if you didn't invade his space.
aka sit down next to him and offer him a book.
"go away," he says, the pout on his lips pointing lower to the ground.
"i don't want to," you refute.
"i won't tell you again, go. away."
"who are you to tell me anything?"
it leaves him speechless, because,
who is he? seriously?!
he thinks you have to be some sort of idiot to not recognise your prince
the following days go the same as the first
you sit near him and hold out a book
he tells you to go away
sometimes you listen
(not without first making it clear that you're moving because you want to, not because he told you to)
other days you don't
you just sit there next to him
staring blankly ahead
not even attempting to open the book that sits in your lap
one day, when he's feeling particularly short on patience
(he had his first sparring lesson with ser criston since losing his eye and it went awfully, each hit and stumble he took to the ground made worse by the echo of aegon's laughter ringing out throughout the whole courtyard)
he asks why you never read that book
"are you an idiot, or something? can't you read? is that why you're here?"
despite how smart he is for his age, he seems to not see the irony in him judging you for being part of an impaired group, as if he isn't also right there with you
such introspection would require acceptance of his loss first, and aemond just isn't ready for that.
"i can't read," you confirm
"because you're slow"
"no."
"then why?"
"i can't see the pages," it's the first time he notices that you're not looking at him. you're trying, face turned and eyes pointed in his direction, but you're staring past his shoulder, "i can't see anything."
he feels guilty,
wretched,
and the sickest twist of comfort.
because he understands
or at least he tells himself he does
because he can't see anything either - out of his missing socket, that is.
the other eye can see perfectly clearly how you don't even flinch as you speak about your disability
and that's when the jealousy takes over.
"then what good is it carrying around that stupid book?"
he says it because he wants to be mean.
so mean that you run away and leave him alone to sulk forever more.
but you just sit there, shrug your shoulders and shift the book around in your palm,
"i like to feel the weight of it in my hand. plus, you never know when you're going to need throw it at someone"
he bites his tongue before he can ask how you can hope to hit a target you can't even see.
the hostility remains
for months, years.
but you sit near him,
he stops telling you to go away,
you still offer the book out to him.
he learns your name.
not because he wants to
but because the septa calls it out one day in the classroom
and you're the one that answers to it.
the first time he sees you outside the study room, you're all alone, none of your father's guards around you,
and that's what really makes him stop in his tracks.
"what kind of lord leaves his daughter to wander blindly around the keep?" he almost says with his usual disgust,
until he notices that you don't have your book
and you're crying.
despite his own discomfort, aemond tells himself he has to comfort you.
because he's thirteen, almost a man.
and what kind of respectable man leaves a girl to cry all by herself?
he wipes your tears with the sleeves of his doublet, waits patiently until your breathing slows, then he speaks,
"what happened?"
"it's you," you say it softly, almost like you can't believe he's the one comforting you.
"it's me. now tell me what happened?"
"nothing," you tell him at first,
until he demands the full truth in the name of his father, king viserys targaryen.
"i overheard my mother speaking to my father about me. i didn't mean to! i just wanted to show them how i memorised the path from my chambers to theirs, without an escort. i wanted to prove that i can be useful, and good, and not a burden. i heard them through the crack in their door. she wants him to send me away to join the silent sisters. she says i can't see, so i may as well not speak either. but my father won't listen. he says i'm his daughter, and that he will not send me away. he loves me too much, i worry he'll hate me for it one day."
that familiar guilty feeling creeps in,
the one he's felt lingering on his skin since the day you told him of your visual impairment.
he's suddenly so aware of the fact he can see you,
and your tear-stained face,
and the shades of blue in your dress.
"where is your book?" he asks.
"i dropped it, whilst running through the halls. i just wanted to stop hearing them, i didn't want... i didn't mean to cause any mess, i'm sorry."
in an act that surprises even him, aemond takes your hand in his
and pulls you both to your feet.
he slowly leads you along familiar hallways, turning corners he's turned a million times.
"where are we going?"
"trust me."
you know he's taken you to the library the minute he opens the doors, a whiff of old books hitting your senses.
he guides you to a book shelf, puts your hand up to touch the exposed spines
and tells you to move forward.
"stop when you feel it's right."
you stop after four steps.
your fingers grazing over a book titled Matters Of The Heart: a Compilation of Fictitious Stories on Love and Beauty.
he pulls it out the shelf,
guides you both over to a bench,
open the dust covered book,
and reads to you.
the following day, when your father's guards guides you down next to aemond in the study room
and you hold your book out to him
he takes it,
shuffles a little closer to you,
and softly recites the words off their pages.
from that day forward, you become an infamous pair in the keep.
the one-eyed prince and the sightless girl,
never one without the other.
aemond becomes your shadow, always two steps ahead or behind you.
you pick out books in the library
and he reads them to you both.
he brings you down to the courtyard
and watches how you flinch each time the clack of wooden swords rings out.
it drives him to be better,
learn to see more in his opponents than even two eyes would allow,
just so he can watch how the smile stretches across your face each time he tells you he won.
you grow so close that one day, the king invites your family to join the royals for supper.
aemond tries not to care that you end up sitting so far away from him at the table.
at least he can look down it and spot you seated at your father's side, he tells himself.
when dinner ends and music starts to play,
aemond ceases the chance to sneak away from his seat and steal the empty one by your side, both your parents having stood to speak with the king.
he brushes two fingers along the back of your hand,
a private, tactile language only you two can speak,
one that tells you it's him, without him even having to say a word.
"prince aemond," you say, and he instantly hates hearing you address him so formally. "you look handsome this evening"
"and how would you know that?" there's no hint of the malice, the mockery he once used to speak to you with, back when he was angry little boy and you were a stubborn girl.
now he's a man of fifteen years and anger is far from something he feels next to you.
he watches you shrug and the smile that he likes best - cheeky, playful - slips onto your lips
"my mother won't stop bringing it up. dashing, she said."
"is that so?"
"mhmm. but she also says my father should offer me to your father and have us both wed, what with our cripple-like qualities making us unsuited for any other lord or lady, so, really, what does she know? for all i know, you're the most hideous thing to walk the keep and i should feel blessed that i can't see you."
"imagine how i feel. i still have to see you."
"oh, the horrors! well then, my all-mighty seeing knight-in-eye-patch, would you lend me your sight one moment and tell me."
"tell you what?"
"do i have anything in my teeth?" you bite back your laughter as you open your mouth and put your pearly-whites out on display for him.
he doesn't even care if the sight is unlady-like
or if anyone else at the table has noticed.
he's too busy laughing along with you and telling lies of how a massive piece of veg is stuck between your upper front teeth.
aegon is as aegon has alaways been,
a thorn in aemond's side,
and he makes no exceptions when it comes to you.
he can't help but laugh at you both
mouth stained with wine as he saunters up and leans his face down between you both.
"isn't it amazing how, between you both, there's only one eye that actually works?"
aemond bites his tongue, like he always does when it comes to his brother.
you, however, aren't quieted so easily.
"oh, so amazing! do you know what's even more amazing? how the stench of you always announces your arrival."
it's the first time aemond feels it.
that flutter in his chest.
and once it starts, it doesn't seem to want to stop,
he seeks you out most hours of the day
and thinks of you when he's not with you.
when he notices the bruises that litter your arms
from bumping into corners and walking into walls
he has a cane made for you, to help you more safely make your way through the keep.
it's the greatest gift he can give you: the freedom to walk your own path.
one day, as he's telling you about the recent flight he took upon vhagar, you ask him what the sky looks like.
"well, it's blue"
you blink at him, wait for the ball to drop.
"but you wouldn't know what that means"
he tries to think of something else, a different way to describe the vastness of the sky
"have you ever ridden upon a horse?"
you nod your head
"have you ever ridden fast upon a horse?"
you nod again.
"that feeling, when you're gripping at the reigns, and the horse's hooves beat against the ground like a drum, and the wind takes no mercy on your hair, and, for a moment, there's this... warmth of possibility, anticipation, right here" he guides your hand to rest atop your chest, on the side that your heart rests. "that you can leap and beat any obstacle in your way, and for a moment the world is open, and vast, and limitless. that is what the sky looks like, the perfect place to race upon horseback."
"except you're on a dragon."
"well, yes, but find me a horse that has wings and i promise to take you riding up in the sky one day."
you ask him to describe more things, more often.
the forest.
the iron throne.
the sea.
vhagar.
each book he reads you.
till one day you ask, "what do you look like?"
he tries his best.
he tells you about his signature targaryen hair,
and helps guide your hand up to touch it.
he tells you about his pointed nose,
and guides your pointer finer up to drag itself down the length of it.
he tells you about his jawline,
and lets you feel that part of him too.
"and your eye?" you ask.
he doesn't say anything
but he does peal off his eyepatch
and guide your hand up to run down the length of his scar.
"what does it look like?"
"gross."
"that's funny, because it just feels like skin. is all skin gross?"
"no but this skin... it's damaged."
"i feel something. it's hard," you murmur, as your nail traces over the curve of the gemstone that fills his socket.
"it's a sapphire."
"a sapphire?"
"yes. it's like a precious, shiny, smooth, blue rock."
"what about the other eye, the one that's still there?"
"what about it?"
"what does it look like? what colour is it? eyes have colours, don't they?"
"they do," he says, gazing into the hypnotising shade of your own, "it's blue."
"the sky, the sea, your eyes. i think blue might be my favourite colour."
he falls asleep that night with a smile on his face
his heart relieved that you never asked him to put into words what you look like,
because there simply aren't enough words known to man,
be it in the common tongue
or high valyrian,
to describe how beautiful you are.
he tells you as much, when you do eventually ask.
in the fallout of storm's end, soaked to the bone and regretful,
it's you who his legs carry him to
your chambers, to be exact
it doesn't even cross his mind to care that his knocking at your door awakens you
he doesn't care, loses all ability to do so when he collapses into your arms
"i made a mistake," he tells you, when you ask what's wrong
"that's okay, mistakes help us learn better."
not this one, he thinks
you're so gentle with him
and your skin is so warm against his cold
that he can't help himself
his lips find yours.
his hands find your hips.
his breath gets lost somewhere between you both.
but that's okay,
you're all the air he's ever needed.
he feels selfish, when he guides you over to your bed.
and he knows he should tell you what's happened,
what's changed.
he knows he shouldn't be touching you with hands that are stained by blood.
but he's desperate,
and he's breathless,
and he's so frighteningly in love with you.
"please, aemond," it's you who begs for more.
it's you who tugs on the leather of his jerkin.
it's you who pulls at the cotton of his shirt.
it's you who he gets undressed for.
you both wind up naked upon your sheets,
limb tangled with limb.
"i wish i could see you," you tell him. "but i don't need to see you to know you're beautiful, aemond. i feel it, in everything you do for me."
so he lets his own eye shut.
decides he doesn't need to see you either,
not like this, his skin tainted with the smell of the rain, and his dragon, and the velaryon boy's scream.
and the truth is, he wants to take you like this.
he wants to be cruel, and damn you to a life by his side.
but he looks at you,
naked beneath him,
lips swollen with his kisses,
the shine of your own arousal peaking out from that space between your thighs,
and all he sees is the girl he read stories to.
the girl who swooned and awed over every cheesy line about a knight,
and all his knightly honour,
loving his lady in the way that's deemed right by the gods and the lords.
and aemond just can't bring himself to defile your honour,
not like this.
so even as you whine,
and moan,
and offer up your maidenhead on a platter of your unapologetic beauty,
the prince just continues to edge at both your own pleasures,
hips grinding back and forth,
lips tangling with your own,
voice whispering nos, and we can't do thats, and not yets.
"tomorrow," he promises, the spill of his pre-seed smearing along your pelvis with each stuttered thrust of his hardened cock against your soft skin, "i'm going to ask your father for your hand."
"but, how?" you sound so pretty, he can't help himself and lets his eye reopen, searing the haunting image of you naked and pliant beneath him into his mind's eye.. "your mother... she said you flew to offer your hand to one of the baratheon girls."
"what i promised lord baratheon was a targaryen prince, and i intend to keep that promise," he speaks with so much conviction, skipping over the events of his nephew, and his dagger, and his joyride in the sky. "daeron is a boy of sixteen, he can have her. but i, i will belong to you."
the will to leave you, maidenhead still intact, somehow finds its way into his heart
he doesn't fail to leave you sated, however,
his finger dancing along the pretty pearl that has you whining his name and losing your mind upon the mattress.
he keeps his word,
wakes not with the urgent need to discuss last night's war-inciting events with his mother
but with the burning desire to find your father and win his approval
he doesn't find him in his quarter of the keep.
or in the training yard.
or in his seat at the small council.
what he does find is his fear stricken mother,
his stoic grandfather,
his giggling brother.
"aemond, what have you done?"
he doesn't answer
they already know what he done,
the whole realm likely knows, his half-sister too.
so he asks what he really cares about,
asks where your father is.
"he's gone," his mother answers.
"after he heard about your business with lucerys," aegon continues. "the traitor's taken his family to dragonstone and bent the knee to our bastard-bearing cunt of a sister."
so yeah that's what i'm thinking about.
anyway, goodnight <33
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idkwhatimdoinghere1655 · 10 days ago
Text
Something Else - Lando Norris
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<word count - 8614> |part 1 - Nerd|part 2 - Rumours|part 3 - So Special|
warnings: more maths, biology, bitches
That night, Lando spent his evening in his room, procrastinating. He had homework to do, but he couldn't bring himself to sit at his desk and pick up his pen. Plus, he could just do it with you tomorrow, anyway. 
The excitement that he felt as a result of getting to sit with you again, getting to spend time with you again was unlike anything else he had ever felt. It was like he was a young child on Christmas Eve, unable to wait for the next morning to roll around so that they could see what Santa had brought them. 
His whole family could see a clear shift in his mood, since they had grown so accustomed to moody, sad Lando over the past couple of days. All he wanted to do was get to school the next day just so that he could get to second break and meet you in the library - and that was something he never thought he'd say. 
Lando had also made his mind up that tomorrow, he was going to ask for your snap. Or your number. Having your number felt a lot more personal and serious than just having your Snapchat. He had a lot of people's snaps, but not many people's numbers. But he wanted yours. 
He wanted to save the conversations you'd have, he wanted to be able to call you when he got home from school and talk to you until he couldn't keep his eyes from drooping shut and then do it all again the next day until he could spend his weekends with you. 
Lando truly was the epitome of a love-sick teenage boy, pining after a girl who he wasn't even sure who wanted him back. You had to though, right? You wore his jumpers, you helped him with his work, he drove you home, hell you hugged each other. 
Meanwhile, you were happy, just not to the scale that Lando was. You were confused, to say the least. You didn't think that everything was just automatically going to blow over just because you had stuck up for yourself once, and the fact that you had was surprising to you. 
But you didn't know if you could keep on standing up for yourself, remembering how you had just broken down in front of Lando and felt like a complete idiot. It also baffled you how... understanding, he had been.
He didn't laugh, didn't tell you to get a grip, he didn't stand there awkwardly - well, he did but he had the right intentions. He had hugged you. I mean, what teenage boy hugs a girl that they're friends with when she's crying?
Despite the jokes he sometimes made, he clearly had an old head on young shoulders. The maturity that he had showed made you like him more, if you were being honest. How much you like him was obvious to you at this point.
You'd always been able to appreciate his face, but now it was more than that. You wanted to spend time with him, sit with him, just be near him. You wanted to laugh at his jokes, hear his voice, make him laugh. 
Yet there was always the fear. If you were actually together, what other rumours would people spout? How much worse would it get? Sure, you'd have Lando there by your side, and you knew he'd stick up for you, but how much more could you take? 
Was your adoration of him enough to cancel out everything people said?
Alas, the next morning, you had the courage to get on the bus instead of having to walk the freezing journey to school. Lando wasn't there, but you weren't upset by it. Max and his friends also didn't say anything, which was... weird, but you chose to ignore it. 
That and the weird feeling of dread that you had in your gut. 
Anyway, you walked into school, actually going to the canteen instead of the toilets or the lockers in fear of people talking to you. As you sat down at the table you usually did, the people that filtered in gave you weird looks. 
It almost looked remorseful, maybe something along the lines of pity? They spoke in hushed whispers around you, none of them making the effort to speak to you. You just scrolled on your phone as you sat there, your headphones in your ears. 
You could hear the faint chatterings of the other people in your year, but you were more focused on your phone. Eventually, the people in the canteen fell silent, the light buzzing of their conversations dying down as the doors opened. 
Out of curiosity, you looked up to see Lilly, strutting into the room. You knew something was amiss, but you had no clue what it was. People looked between you and her, and you were so confused as to what was going on. 
To make the atmosphere worse, Lando walked in after her a few seconds later, and you saw how come people's eyes went wide. Lando smiled at you before taking himself over to his friends, and Lilly went to her own table. 
"Mate, is it true?" Max asked Lando, and all he could do was roll his eyes. He had heard the sentence a lot of time recently, and he could only assume that he was about to hear some bullshit. But what Max said nearly made his heart stop. 
"Did you cheat on Y/N with Lilly?" 
Now that was a question that had a lot to unpack. To start off with, there was no way he could've cheated on you since you weren't together, that was the first major thing that he went through in his head. 
The second thing was that it was a stupid question; he'd never cheat on you. If you were his, he wouldn't risk losing you over something so stupid and hurtful as cheating. If you were his, he'd never have the desire to be with anyone else. If you were his, he'd be the best damn boyfriend he could've possibly been. 
Thirdly, it was already established that he wouldn't cheat to begin with, but certainly not with Lilly. God, even the sound of her name in his head made him want to throw up. He knew she had a massive crush on him, but he'd never stoop that low. 
"Who the fuck said that?" he rushed, his tone not lacking urgency. 
"I don't know where it came from, Will told me this morning," Max sheepishly said, not missing the alarm in Lando's voice. He knew his friend had been having a hard time lately - and he was a participant. But he also knew that it was going to get worse from now.
"Oh my christ," he mumbled, getting up nearly as quickly as he had sat down. Lando had spotted Will going over to the lockers earlier, and he hoped he was still there. You saw his face, the look on it. 
There was no emotion on his features other than rage, and you still didn't know what was going on. As he left, people carried on looking between you and Lilly, and you could only assume that it was something to do with her. 
"Will," Lando said, spotting the blonde boy fiddling with dials on his locker. 
"Hey Lando! What's-" he cheerily started, but he stopped when he saw Lando's face. He knew what he was asking about. "What's up, mate?" he asked, not even knowing if he wanted to find the answer out in the end.                                             
"What did you tell Max? About me 'cheating' on Y/N?" 
Will was internally cursing Max for telling Lando that he had been the one to spread the message around the friend group, and he was nothing short of terrified of Lando right now. "I just told him what Maisie told me," he quietly said. 
"And what did Maisie tell you?" Lando prompted.
"She just said that things weren't great between you and Y/N and that you apparently spent last night with Lilly..." he trailed off, and the pieces all fell into place in his head. Lilly. 
She had surely been the one to spread it around her friends, who were the gossipers of the school. He should've known it would be her, especially after how she had spoken to you and about you when he was listening. 
He wasn't going to bother going to Maisie and asking her what Lilly had said, but he knew Lilly would just spout pure and utter bullshit to him and it'd be a waste of time trying to get the truth out of her. At least Maisie would be easy to intimidate the veracities of the story out of. 
Lando needed to get to the bottom of this, preferably before first period so you wouldn't spend your lesson upset. It was naive to think that this wouldn't get back to you before that point, but he would be a lot more relieved if he could tell you what was going on before you got upset. 
"You absolute idiot, you know that Y/N and I aren't together, and you sure as hell know that I wouldn't touch that bitch with a 10 foot barge pole!" Lando spat, taking himself away from will before he did something he'd regret. 
Meanwhile, you were still in the dark about everything that was going on. Until now. "Hey... erm... I'm really sorry to hear about what Lando did. It's really shitty. Especially with Lilly. I guess we all should've seen it coming," someone came up to you and said. 
It was one of the usually shy girls, so it was surprising to see her come and talk to you out of the blue. "What are you talking about?" you asked, and her mouth dropped.
"You don't know what he did?" she asked, suddenly feeling like this was the single worst idea she had had in at least the last five years. 
"What did he do?" you replied, thinking that Lando had done or said something that was instantly going to ruin the reconciliation that you had both made yesterday. You really hoped that it wasn't something he had done, because you didn't think you could handle that volume of feelings again. 
"With... Lilly... you know... cheated..." she mumbled, avoiding your eyes and looking at the freshly buffed canteen floor. 
"Lando can't cheat if we were never together to begin with," you coldly said, your voice betraying no emotion. For some reason, the word 'cheated' sent a pang of hurt through your body, but you couldn't quite decipher why. 
Maybe it was just the mere idea of Lando cheating on you that sent your heart into a spiral, but there was certainly something about it that hurt. And with Lilly? Ha, that was funny. As if he'd do that... or would he?
Oh here came the doubt, the questioning, the lack of reasoning. Lando would never cheat on you. Never. He was not that kind of guy, and you couldn't even see him thinking of it, let alone actually doing it. But you weren't even together so it didn't matter.
"Oh... I... erm... sorry..." she trailed off, scurrying away from you before you had chance to say anything else. Now you knew why everyone was giving you looks and whispering about you. They all believed that you and Lando were together from the first set of rumours, and now it seemed perfectly plausible that he had cheated on you. Just great. 
In the interim, Lando skulked down the hall, before spotting Maisie just before she reached the canteen. "Maisie!" he called out, jogging up to catch her. The girl's face absolutely fell when she saw Lando, and she was clearly of the knowledge that she was in some deep shit.
"Look, I only know what Lilly told me, OK?" she said, and he could have laughed at how scared she was. 
"Which was...?"
"That things between you and Y/N were rocky, to say the least. Apparently she was too boring, too square for you. So you called Lilly and... you know." Maisie explained. The implication in her words wasn't lost on Lando, and he could feel the hot sears of fury building up in his stomach and spreading through his veins. 
"And you believed it? You really fucking believed a word that she said? Are you seriously that naive?" he grovelled through gritted teeth, really trying not to lose his temper with the cowardly girl in front of him.
Maisie was scared. Terrified, even. "She's my friend... I..." she stuttered, unable to meet his eyes. 
"Well she shouldn't be, get better friends. She is nothing but a lying, manipulative, awful person that you'll be better off getting rid of sooner rather than later," he told Maisie, leaving her awestruck at what he had said. 
Now all Lando had to do was find the single thing that had caused him the most distress as of recent: Lilly.
He had seen her in the canteen, and he assumed that she'd still be there. Pushing past Maisie, he stormed into the room, and you knew he knew. You had instantly jumped to the conclusion that Lilly had been the one to spread the rumours, and now it seemed that Lando was trying to resolve the issue. 
"Lilly what the fuck are you playing at?" he sneered, leaning over the table and towering over her. The smirk on her face looked proud of what she'd done, and it pissed him off even more than he already was, if that was possible.
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw you watching him. He knew you knew, and he was going to go to every length that he could to make sure that you weren't upset by this, by her. "Not my fault she was too vanilla for you," she laughed, her friends grinning along. 
"Too vanilla? Are you out of your fucking mind? I'd rather be dead than touch you!" Lando near on yelled, people averting their eyes to him as his voice raised slightly. 
"Not what you were saying last night..." she chided in a sing song tone, and Lando was about 2 seconds away from losing his cool. 
"Well then let me make it quite clear. I would never ever want to be anywhere near you, got it? Now stop making shit up that everyone knows isn't true just because no one actually likes you. Y/N doesn't, your friends don't, no one around here does, and I sure as hell don't," he ranted, and Lilly's confidence faltered. 
He could see the slight expression of jealousy on her face, since she knew deep down that her efforts of being with Lando were proving futile. There was also some semblance of hurt there, since it was never nice to be verbally berated by the boy you had a crush on. 
"And what makes her so special, eh? Her drab personality? The fact that she's a complete suck up? Her lack of friends? Or is it just because she's clever?" she spat back, her tone not lacking that familiar snark that she was famous for. 
"She's a hell of a lot more than you'll ever be. If I hear one more lie come from your mouth, your life around here will be hell," Lando finished, moving across the canteen to go and sit with his friends: who had all been watching the ordeal from afar. 
He hadn't noticed, but pretty much everyone in the year was watching the argument. Even you, sitting at your table by the wall, were dumbfounded. As Lando sat down, you could see how he was trying to seem all cool, calm and collected like he normally was.
But, you could see the faint inklings of his anger still lingering on the surface, and you were sure they'd be there for the rest of the day. You were pissed off too, but you couldn't help but feel a small smidgen of upset too.
You didn't want to be upset, not by Lilly, never by Lilly. Yet you were. That sad feeling that you'd had over the past couple of days was creeping back in, as much as you were willing it to go away so that you could carry on as if this had never happened. 
Cutting through the light chatter, the bell rang out that signalled that you should go to first period. You spent your hour in history not really concentrating on the details of the Cuban Missile Crisis, more on what Lilly had said.
Something about the words ran deeper than they ought to have, and it was like an itch you couldn't quite scratch. "Y/N, who was it that met with Anatoly Dobrynin to secretly resolve the crisis?" your teacher interrupted, pushing you momentarily off the path that your mind was taking you down.
"Erm..." you stuttered, and something that resembled concern flashed in your teacher's eyes. You were normally so on the ball, always switched on and tuned into lessons. But, he wouldn't hold it against you that you were zoned out once.
He had never ever seen you not paying attention, so he'd let it slide. Just before he said the answer, it popped into your head. You seemed to remember reading about it in your textbook once, but it might not have been right. "Robert Kennedy?" you said, and a soft smile found its way onto his face. 
"Yes, well done," he nodded, and you were off the hook for now. You could go back to your little daydreams about everything that had gone on in the morning. Or day-mares. You weren't quite sure. 
First break and second period went by, and you remembered that you said you'd help Lando with his biology. The anxiety that you used to feel about seeing Lando was crawling through you, feeling almost like a hand wrapped around your neck.
You were at the library first, as usual. You didn't have biology today, but you had brought your text book just so you could fill in any of the gaps in your own knowledge before attempting to teach Lando any of it. 
You weren't actually sure what about anatomy he was wanting to learn or if that was just a joke, but you thought it would be better to be prepared. The chair in front of you was pulled out, and Lando sat down with a big grin on his face. 
He was trying to be normal, but he was scrutinising your every move to see if you were OK. "Hey," he smiled, rummaging through his bag to get out his crumpled work book and biology textbook. "So, tell me about that cycle thing," he said, leaning back in his chair and folding his arms, ready to listen to you. 
"The menstrual cycle?" you pressed, since there were many cycles he could have been referring to. Plus, it was funny to see the flush of red on his cheeks and the way the tips of his ears turned pink when he was embarrassed.
Lando may have been a mature boy when it came to your emotions, but he was just like the rest of them when it came to talking about slightly awkward topics like periods. "Erm... yeah. That one." he confirmed. 
"OK, so, what you need to know about are the 4 hormones. You've got LH, oestrogen, progesterone and FSH. FSH causes the maturing of the egg in the ovary, LH triggers ovulation, which is the release of the egg into the uterus. Oestrogen repairs and thickens the uterus lining, and progesterone maintains the uterus lining." you explained, and Lando tried to be an active listener by nodding his head as you spoke. 
"Sure, yeah, I can remember that," he nodded. "You'll probably have to explain it a few times to me, but I can remember that. It isn't so hard," he reassured, but it sounded like he was telling himself more than he was telling you. 
"So from that, try some practice questions, and then we can fill in any gaps after, yeah?" you said, taking his textbook and flicking through the pages until you found the practice questions at the end of the chapter on the menstrual cycle. 
"Yes ma'am," he jokingly saluted, picking up his pen and looking after the questions. "Do you have some paper?" he asked, clearly not having brought any. You just rolled your eyes at him, ripping a sheet out of your notebook for him. "Thanks, you're the best," he winked at you, his eyes moving down to the paper on the table before he could spot you blushing. 
God was he charming. As Lando distracted himself with getting on with the practice questions, you figured you might as well finish your physics homework that you had been given in second period. It wouldn't take you long if you concentrated. 
But it was hindered by that small feeling of anxiety again. Anxiety of being here with Lando. Lilly's words echoed in your head again, and the stab of pain didn't become any less stinging as you thought about it.  
'Her drab personality?' You knew you weren't the most egregiously outgoing person in the world, or the most funny, but you didn't think you were drab, per se. Maybe just reserved. The people that had put the time in to get to know you seemed to find you funny.
Well, Lando seemed to find you funny. That had to count for something, right? You didn't have to be overly loud or obnoxious just to have a personality, but you were in high school, so maybe you did. 
'The fact that she's a complete suck up?' You wouldn't say you were exactly a suck up, you just liked doing well in your lessons, it was as simple as that. You didn't like getting told off, so you did your work, and you did it well. 
The praise brought you a nice little ding of satisfaction, and you didn't really see much reason to act out or not do your work. You had your moments where you had forgotten things, but your teachers were lenient since you were always so diligent. 
'Her lack of friends?' Now that was just inaccurate. You had friends, most of them were people you just so happened to sit next to in your lessons and you hung out on occasion. You didn't hang out with them in school since you liked to knuckle down and get your work done during the day so you could limit the amount you did at home. 
You went out on the weekends, whether it be for lunch or to do some activity that one of them had picked. There was just the illusion that you didn't have any friends, but you didn't expect Lilly to be so observant. 
'Or is it just because she's clever?' The more you thought about it, the more you thought that being smart was the only thing you had going for you. It was easy to look past everything that made you you when you were always getting the best grades. 
A lot of people seemed to omit the detail of your name when referring to you, simply calling you the 'smart one'. It had never bothered you before, so why did it now? Surely though, Lando didn't just like you because you were smart?
Most of the time, you weren't being academic when you spent time together, so there had to be more to it than that. As you got in your own head, your self-confidence was dwindling. Was all of that really what people thought of you?
That you were drab, friendless, a kiss ass, just the smart one? Maybe they had and you had just never noticed. All anyone ever saw you as was clever. The little lonely thing who just studied instead of having a worthy social life. 
That you were destined for solitude with nothing but your textbooks and scientific journals teeming with knowledge. It wasn't how you wanted yourself to be seen, not in the slightest. For a moment, you considered having a full on glow up, complete with the leather pants and hairspray - just like Sandy in Grease.
But that would be a little too much, so you decided against the idea. At least you didn't have long before you could leave that place and never look back. School had never been about the people to you, not until now, anyway. 
Lando noticed that you weren't doing anything, your pen was just hovering over your sheet and it had been for a few minutes now. He didn't know whether you were brainstorming or thinking, but by the look on your face, whatever you were thinking wasn't pleasant.
"Hey..." he softly mumbled, reaching out hand to place on your arm from across the table. He gently shook you, snapping you out of your thoughts. You just looked at him for a moment, your brain taking you back to where you were. 
Right. Studying. Biology. Physics. With Lando.
"You stuck?" you asked, leaning over to glance at the practice questions he had been scribbling down onto the paper. 
"No, you just seem a bit spaced out. You doing OK?" he asked, concern written all over his face. He had a feeling he knew what was going on, and he was nearly 100% sure that he was right. 
"Yeah, I'm good, just tired," you lied through your teeth, and Lando knew it was complete and utter bullshit. His expression hardened, not liking that you were lying to him. He hated it when you lied to him.
"Hey, c'mon, don't do that. Talk to me," he urged, his hand still remaining on your arm as he squeezed it. You stayed silent, not wanting him to take the mick out of you for thinking the way you were. But Lando wasn't having it. "Please? You're clearly upset about something. You can tell me." he pressed. 
"I just... nevermind. It's stupid," you dismissed, picking your pen back up to actually make an attempt on your physics homework. 
"No, we're not doing that. If you don't tell me, then I can't make it better," he carried on pushing. Lando just wanted you to open up to him, to make you see that he could trust you. He wanted to fix your problems for you.
"I... do you think I'm drab?" you asked, and he was taken aback. He took a few seconds, thinking over your question. He hated that you even had to ask him that in the first place. 
"No, course I don't, you're so much more-"
"OK so do you think I'm a suck up? Do you think I have no friends? Is the only good thing about me my brain?" you rambled, and his face softened. He was right. It was exactly what he thought it would be: Lilly's words had gotten to you. 
"No, no. Listen to me," he said, but you were still looking down at the paper and fiddling with the top of your pen. "Can you look at me?" he asked. His mum always got him to look at her when he was upset and she was trying to be reassuring, so he figured he'd try the same approach as her.
"Y/N. Look at me." he said more firmly. The sternness in his tone wasn't like anything you had heard from him, and you didn't know what else to do apart from listen to him and do as he said. You tilted your head up to meet his eyes, the softness hiding behind the hard exterior. 
"You are none of that. Don't let Lilly think any less of yourself. You're not drab, you're a joy to be around. You're not a suckup, you're a hard worker. You have friends, you've got me. And there is so much more to you that just your brain. Sure, it's an incredible thing that I admire about you, but there's more to you than just that."
Now you really didn't know what to say. Somehow, Lando had just said exactly what you needed to hear. Yet it didn't make the insecurity go away, not fully. "But do you think other people think that? Or is Lilly just saying what everyone thinks...?" you nearly whispered. 
"You don't need to care about anyone's opinion. Not everyone else's, not mine, and certainly not Lilly's. The only opinion you should care about is yours," he told you, and that was another moment where Lando showed that he was wise beyond his years. 
"OK," you agreed, and Lando finally removed his hand from your arm. He seemed settled by your agreement, but he knew he hadn't fully convinced you. He'd keep an eye on you and be ready to swoop in and quash any more of that lingered self deprecating doubt. 
"Now, do your physics. We can't have our number one scholar falling behind, can we?" he chuckled, trying to bring some light to the situation. 
"As if you could catch up, Norris," you laughed, finally starting the questions that you had to do. You had them done in ten minutes, and finally the bell went for the end of second break. You and Lando packed up your stuff, ready to head to your next lesson. 
"Hey, can we meet back here for the second half of lunch? I've got some maths I need help on," he asked, and you couldn't say no to him.
"Sure, I'll be here all lunch so just come up whenever," you told him, and he ran out to the language block for French so that he wasn't late. You just had English downstairs, so it was a short walk for you. 
Exactly as he said, Lando trudged back up to the library halfway through lunch. "My French teacher is an absolute bitch. She kept me behind for ten minutes because apparently the way I say 'jouer' isn't French enough for her. We went through pronunciation for ages and said I need to work on it," he scoffed, plopping down in front of you and earning a glare from the librarian. 
"So are we doing French or maths today?" you chuckled, thinking he'd want to do French after his little outburst. 
"I would rather die than have to think of 'qu'est ce il y a dans ta ville' again," he mocked, purposely avoiding trying to pronounce the words right. "We're doing maths. And we're doing polynomial division. Because further maths is kicking my arse at the moment,"
"Sure, sure, OK. Get your book out," you told him, going into your bag to get your own maths book out. You had it last period, so you thankfully had all your stuff to hand.
"You know, I'd be much better at maths if I could sit with you again..." he said, hoping you'd catch onto what he was asking. It was true - his maths was a hell of a lot better when he had you to help him and guide him through it. 
"Are you asking if you can come back to your old place?"
"Yes. Yes I am." he confirmed. 
"Then yeah, I think you're good to move back to your old place," you confirmed, and the smile on his face was adorable. If you were being honest with yourself, you were also missing him in maths. The seat next to you had been left vacant, and you quite liked it that way.
But, having Lando there would've been a hell of a lot better than sitting by yourself. You enjoyed teaching him and it brought you a lot of satisfaction. It was nice to have that sense of fulfillment when you had shared your knowledge to someone, especially when it was Lando. 
 "So what is it about polynomial division that you don't get?" you asked, taking his book from him and looking at the half-done sums on the page.
"I get the first bit about putting x into x cubed, but from there? Nah," he told you, and you could see what he meant. He had gotten past step one, but had completely faltered on the rest of the maths.
"So now you want to times out your x squared by the -4 after the x and put that under there," you told him, pointing to the spot on the page where he needed to put in the multiplied terms and numbers. 
You talked Lando through the rest of the steps and went over a few more with him, before letting him go through a few himself. "Are you OK? You know, after earlier and everything. I don't want you thinking like that about yourself,"
"Oh, yeah, it was just a short thing. I was being silly," you shook your head, and Lando seemed to believe you. 
"Good. And... what do I do from this bit? Minus the 3?"
"No, plus. If you try to minus a minus, it turns into a plus, yeah?" you reiterated, and he instantly remembered the small maths fact. He just smiled at you, and you couldn't quite decipher what the look in his eyes was. It looked like some form of wonder, but you decided that that was just wishful thinking on your part. 
"You're something else, you know that?" he quietly said, and you wouldn't have caught it if you weren't in the near silence of the library. 
"Hm?" you asked, wanting to make sure you had heard what you thought you had heard. 
"Oh, nothing," he blushed, pretending like he was doing his maths while you sat there. Lando mentally scolded himself for the slip up, annoyed that he had let it leave his lips. It was a freudian slip, yes, but he wasn't going to admit that. 
He wanted to tell you again, and he wanted to tell you over and over and over again until you believed it, but he didn't want to push it too far. You had only just gotten back to normal, and he didn't want to ruin it just as quickly as he had gotten it back. 
You both worked in silence until you needed to go to your 4th lesson of the day, yours being Spanish and Lando's being chemistry. "Can I walk you there?" he asked, not caring if he was late for chemistry, he hated the lesson anyway.
"Sure," you agreed, packing up your stuff and walking by his side. Lando wanted to be able to reach out, intertwine his fingers with yours and feel the warmth of your hand. But again, that'd be too much far too soon. 
People gave you dubious glances as you walked through the corridors, and the people going into your class thought it was weird when Lando just stood outside with you when they knew he wasn't in their class. "Have a good lesson, yeah? I'll see you in maths," he smiled, leaning against the wall next to the classroom door. 
"Yeah, enjoy chemistry," you smiled at him, walking in and taking your seat. After spending all that time with Lando, you forgot one teeny weeny detail. You sat with Lilly in Spanish. Great. And the realisation kicked in when she took her seat next to you. 
Dread settled in the pit of your stomach, even if she didn't say anything for the first half of the lesson. The two of you didn't have any reason to talk, so you were perfectly happy with ignoring her existence and getting your lesson out of the way. 
Yet of course, you had to do partner work. The task was simple, it was just testing each other on vocab. One of you would give the English word, and the other would give the Spanish word back. But, it wasn't like you could get out of it or ask to move places, since that would be way too obvious. She didn't initiate the conversation, so you had to be the bigger person and start it.
"Do you want me to ask first or do you want to?" you asked, and she looked at you as if you had just thrown up on her. The disgust on her face was obvious, since she made no attempt to hide it. If anything, she was playing up to make you feel worse. 
"You can ask," she said, leaning back in her chair and folding her arms. You looked at the vocabulary that you had written down in your book, scanning through the different words.
"OK... what is the plot?" you asked, and she sighed.
"Don't know." Oh. So that was how this was going to go. OK, yeah, sure, you got the idea. 
"El argumento. What is the scene?" 
"Don't know." she said, looking bored as ever. She looked like she wanted to say something, but for whatever reason, she was holding her tongue. That wasn't like Lilly, not at all, so you were slightly surprised. 
"It's really easy, come on," you huffed, feeling quite frustrated that she was being so stubborn and pig headed. But it was Lilly, what else were you expecting? 
"Look, Y/N, if it wasn't already obvious, I don't like you, and I'm certainly not going to sit here and play classmates with you, OK?" she said in the way an adult would scold a child. 
"Good, because if it wasn't already obvious, I don't like you either. But I'm not going to sit here and be a bitch about it, OK?" you replied with the same tone, and you spotted the spark that ignited in her eyes. 
Did you slightly regret snapping back? Yes. But was it a little fun? Hell yeah. 
"Ha, please. I'm not a bitch, you're just delusional," she scoffed, rolling her eyes at you. Delusional? How had that come out of your previous sentence? Clearly noticing the confusion on your face, she spoke again. 
"Did you see that little show that Lando put on this morning? He's a good actor, isn't he? Mind you, it is quite pathetic that you believed it." she said, and you dropped your book down onto the table. 
"You and I both know that that is absolute-" 
"He just uses you, you know that? Ever since you've been 'friends', haven't you noticed that his grades in pretty much everything have gone up? He didn't mean a word of it," she spat, and it was like she had read your mind and brought back up the rest of your insecurities. 
She had triggered them earlier, and now she was doing it again. "Not so mouthy now, are we?" she grinned, clearly satisfied with your facial expression. 
You felt the familiar trepidation of seeing Lando next period coming back to the fore, and all you could muster was a simple, "And this is why nobody likes you."
"Lando seems to," she said after hearing your quip, but you both knew it was bullshit. At least that wasn't true. Or was it? You didn't know what was true in regards to you and Lando anymore. 
Did he really just use you to get his grades up? Was that all this was?
Spanish was over after a little while, but you went straight to your maths classroom so that you wouldn't have to see Lando during break. Your teacher wasn't there, so you just sat in your seat to think about things. 
She walked in after some time, you couldn't say how much time you had been sat there, but there were likely only a few minutes left until break was over.  "Y/N? What's wrong? Did something happen with Lando again?" she asked, seeing the look on your face. 
"Not with Lando. Well, not Lando directly, anyway." you mumbled, and she knelt down in front of your desk. 
"You can tell me," she said. Lando had said the exact same thing to you earlier in the day, but it didn't have the same effect coming from her. 
"It's fine, I've got it covered," you said, and she decided not to press the issue further. It wasn't long before the bell went and people started filtering in. Surprisingly, Lando was one of the first to walk in and came to his seat next to you. 
"Lando, to the back," your teacher said, and he instantly knew something was wrong. 
"Miss, it's fine, really," you reassured her, and Lando briskly took his seat beside you. He could tell the energy around you was off, and he was hell bent on getting to the bottom of it. 
Meanwhile, Lilly's words were storming through your head like a runaway freight train. 'He just uses you'. It had been a fear you had held for a while, albeit one that you had convinced yourself of being irrational.
Surely, there was no way he'd do that, right? There was no way he would hug you, drive you home, walk you to class, spend his free time on projects for you if he was just using you. People weren't overly nice to people they were exploiting. 
Or maybe he was just doing it to butter you up, keep you sweet for him. Keep his grades higher. Maybe he had figured out that his niceties got him favours from you, all of which involved help on his school work. 
Maybe he was what you initially thought he was when you first talked to him on that broken down bus. A character. A special version of Lando Norris, crafted just for you. The edition of him that would get him what he wanted in the most efficient manner. 
Maybe, just maybe, Lilly was right. Lando was the star actor, the leading role, the puppet master. And you were simply the one on the strings, dancing to whatever sick tune he played.  
While you were thinking, Lando let some of the lesson go by until you were set off to work on some questions. "What's wrong?" he asked straight up, turning his body so that he was facing you more. When you didn't answer him, he nudged your leg with his knee under the table. "Come on, I know something's wrong. Is it about earlier?"
'No, I've just come to the conclusion that you might be using me' was what you thought, but you still couldn't deduce whether it was just Lilly and your mind wreaking havoc on you, or if it was the uncovered truth.
"Tell me what's going on in that pretty head of yours," he said, hoping to get some form of a smile from the compliment. He would take anything at this point. However, you gave him nothing. You kept your eyes trained on your paper, your pen mindlessly scribbling. 
"Was it Lilly?" he asked, and he saw the slight change in your expression. Well at least he knew something about what was going on with you. Even just the mention of it triggered the familiar, hot prickle of tears at the backs of your eyes. 
Lando spotted you welling up, and he knew he'd hit a sore spot. "Hey, no, I'm sorry for pushing, I'll stop, it's OK," he rambled, feeling panicked at the prospect of you crying. He had seen it a few times, and it was a few times too many. 
He also didn't want you to feel embarrassed by crying in the middle of class, especially not because of him. "You're OK, I'm sorry, it's OK," he tried to soothe as you tried to fight the tears back. 
Lando wished he could just hug you like he had before, since that seemed to take the pain away for a little bit. At least then, he wouldn't feel so useless and like he was just sitting by and watching you get upset. 
All he wanted was to hold you in his arms, make sure that no one else could ever hurt you again. But even then, it probably wouldn't be enough. "It's nothing," was all you could muster out, and something in Lando snapped. 
He was so frustrated, he didn't know what to do with himself. He tried to tear his eyes away from you, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He wanted to look at your pretty face all day. But, he left you alone, returning to his maths. 
Lando couldn't focus though, and time seemed to move unbelievably slowly while he was waiting for the lesson to end so that he could talk to you in a less public space. The bell had rung after an agonising half an hour, but you were too quick for him to catch as you practically ran out of the classroom. 
He couldn't spot you as you walked through the corridors, since the hoards of people leaving their lessons obstructed his view. Darting out of school, he saw the bus waiting, and he was meant to be catching it, but he didn't care about that right now. 
On the other side of the road, he saw you walking down the pavement with your headphones stuffed in your ears. He had to jog across the road as he was nearly ran over by a van, but that was the least of his worries right now. 
"Y/N!" he called out after you, but you clearly hadn't heard him over your music. That wasn't going to going to deter him, however, as he continued to jog down the pavement and started walking next to you. "Y/N, talk to me," he said, slightly huffing as he finally got to slow down.
"Hm? Oh," you mumbled as you heard him beside you, not knowing what to say. You didn't want to push him away, but you didn't want to be like this anymore. 
"C'mon, tell me, I'm here, there's no one around, it's just you and me," he tried to convince you. Stopping and turning to look a him, he saw the tears welling up in your eyes again, and he still didn't know what to do. 
"You can't just be my friend again, then suddenly stop talking to me and not even tell me why," he ranted, his frustration seeping through his words. 
"Look, I don't think we should be friends, Lando." you said, and he felt like his heart had stopped beating in his chest. 
What the hell had triggered this? Why were you thinking like this? And why wouldn't you tell him what was going on? He hoped that this was just some spur of the moment thing, that you were just upset and acting on impulses.
God, he couldn't take this again. Not again, he wouldn't let you walk away from him again. He wouldn't lose you again. He had lost you once and it had been the worst few days of his recent memory, and he wasn't going to let you slip away that easily.
"No, no, don't do that. Don't do this to me, don't be stupid," he scoffed, waiting for you to crack a smile and tell him you were kidding and that you were just a bit on edge from something or another. The smile never came. 
"Why? Why the fuck are you coming to this conclusion?" he continued, but the tears just started to silently fall down your cheeks. 
"Me being associated with you just brings us both unwanted stress and upset. Your friends take the piss out of you, everyone seems to take the piss out of me and I can't do it Lando. You're brilliant but I just can't do this anymore," you sobbed, trying to walk away from him. 
"No, no, you can't say that and not tell me what someone said to you," he pressed, grabbing your wrist and tugging you back so that you couldn't walk away from him. "I know it was Lilly, but you've gotta tell me what she said to you."
"She... nothing," you stuttered, and Lando's patience was wearing very damn thin. 
"No, don't try pull that bullshit with me, I will not have it. You're going to give me one good fucking reason right now or I will lose it with you," he said through gritted teeth.
"She said that you don't actually want to be my friend and that you just use me to get better grades and it got me thinking and-"
"And what?" he cut you off, "You really believe a word that slimy bitch says? Sure, you helping me with my work is great, I won't deny that, but I spend time with you for you. And you wanna know why? Because I think you're amazing. You're funny, pretty and a hell of a lot smarter than anyone should be." he carried on, and he realised by your facial expression that he may have said more than he was meant to, but he didn't care at this point.
"You... huh?" you said, the words replaying over in your head.  Was he meant to say that or was he still just trying to keep you attached to him?
"I said I think you're amazing and you're more to me than just a tutor. You're my friend. Dare I say one of my favourites because you never take the piss out of me, you're always nice to me, and being around you makes me happy. And you're too smart to believe a word she says." he reaffirmed.
Your eyes searched his face for any trace of dishonesty, any hint of a lie. Yet, it they found nothing. Not a speck of chicanery in sight. He kept saying all this stuff, and it was supposed to be exactly what you needed to hear. Then why wasn't it?
"Were you and Lilly ever anything?" you asked, the question slipping past your lips before you could even find it in yourself to stop it. You didn't even know why you cared - well, you did. The stallion of jealousy was rearing its ugly head, and there was no way that you could suppress it.
You liked him, you liked him a lot. And, even if he had only had something fleeting with Lilly, it still would have upset you. 
"No." he sharply and quickly answered. "Why the fuck would I ever-" he started, before cutting himself off with a sigh. Getting annoyed at you wasn't the best approach, even if you were making it damn impossible not to. "No. No I never and will never have anything with her." he said. 
"But still, people are still awful to me and to you," you whispered, trying to hold back even more tears. 
"That doesn't matter, not to me. I don't give a shit what people think, I just give a shit about you." he pleaded, hoping and praying that you weren't going to turn around and leave him.
Despite the clear sincerity in his voice, you couldn't bring yourself to believe him. As much as you desperately wanted to believe him, you couldn't. You needed to believe him, but you couldn't. 
The worst part was was that you knew the notion was completely absurd, but you believed it anyway. "Please don't do this..." he whispered, moving his hands to hold you at the top of your arms. God, he didn't want you to go. Not again. 
"I'm sorry, Lando..." you mumbled, shrugging away from his grip and pushing your headphones back into your ears. With every step you took, it felt like another stab to his already broken heart. 
Lando closed his eyes, unable to watch you walk away from him. "I thought you were the smartest person I knew, but it turns out you're the fucking dumbest," he called out after you, his voice cracking on the words. 
It was mean, sure, but he didn't care. What he did care about wa the fact that the only girl he had ever had real feelings for was walking away from him, and there was seemingly nothing he could do to bring you back. Nothing. 
A/N - Already 5k into the next part of this, and I'm sorry, I know it felt like it was just getting better. Alas, we're getting there. And happy birthday Lando! He may piss me off to no end, but damn do I love writing about him 💖
tag list: @cheriladycl01 @ln4swiftie @mariedeyes223 @ironmaiden1313 @daemyraforever56
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three-headed-monster · 2 hours ago
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this month has literally just been confirming to me that i'm a fandom Elder my god, me vs explaining 2021, 2022, and 2023 fandom lore to various different people 😂
but yeah ! macklin is really interesting cause i would say there's a decent amount of scholarship on him, but not a lot! he seems, by all accounts, a fairly regular kid, but i think the lack of media bubble around him has also meant we haven't really gotten as much information about him in comparison to other draftees (this also might just be a big gap in my own information because while i have followed this dude for a long time, last year as a whole is a year where i feel hockey did not exist to me for 80% of the year)
i would be careful about third hand accounts though, because i think a lot of us are partial to twisting the narrative to how it fits our own headcanons (very much guilty of this sometimes, but i really do try to be accurate). there's a lot of stuff on adam fantilli in particular, and the reasons he left the canadian hockey system that are inaccurate, or stretched to a large degree. i fear that has been applied to macklin's story too, which he himself has refuted. so i would def encourage to be diligent in doing your own research ! and forming your own headcanons outside of the third hand accounts :)))
connor's masking is so insane and it's gotten more and more blatently obvious since he came into the nhl. before, of course he had his pr voices and everything but every once in a while he'd break character and we'd get a glimpse at the true him. now it feels like unless we're getting another friends livestream, we're never seeing that again 😭
i don't think any of them were raised normal tbh and you're right in saying we can only take what the media says about them. i hate comparisons in anny way though, and even though it's great media foddder, it honestly serves everyone involved terribly because well....
time to talk about shane wright.
shane wright was, from the time he was 14! projected to be the top pick in the 2022 nhl draft. people called him the next one. he was connor before connor was connor. exceptional player status in the ohl, was playing with people 3-4 years his SENIOR by the time he was 15 and eating them alive. everywhere this kid went, people were telling him he was great.
and then covid hits. and he doesn't play hockey. for a year. despite so may other people going overseas to play in europe just to try to continue their development, shane wright doesn't. he sits on his hands. he waits for the ohl to begin again in a year it never does. there was speculation at the time that it was because he was struggling with the idea of being so far away from his family at so young, which. objectively. makes sense. 16 in europe alone is a lot different from billets in the same province as his parents. (also what they won't tell you is that 50% of the players who did get to go overseas was because they had dual citizenship, look at i.e. mctavish and othmann going to switzerland because they were dual citizens, because at the time no one else could cross the borders).
but he does u18s. he looks fine. GREAT even. breaks all kinds of scoring records. consensus heading into the 2021-22 season is that he's still going to be the first overall pick. nothing seems wrong.
until it is. because he has a subpar year in terms of scoring. and there's other competition making their cases for top pick. and it looks like the canadiens will be picking first overall while the draft is in their city, and it's a bigger deal than most first overall picks regardless of who it is.
and i think part of why connor was so hesitant to say "when i'm drafted" the next year in 2023, and always reverted to "if" is because shane makes the mistake of saying in a mid-season interview that he deserves to be the first overall pick in 2022. because that's what everyone's told him since he was 14? so it must be true right? no one has indicated to him anything otherwise?
the habs don't think so. they hate it. they consider it entitlement, but they don't say it to his face. the habs wine and dine him, they send scouts to his games consistently throughout the year to talk to him, habs fans are even asking him to sign habs jerseys with HIS name on it before the draft and he stays on the carpet longer than they're allowed to just to do that
but then the pick comes. it's not him. the habs don't even have the decency to call and tell him. devils are next. they don't change their plans. it's not him. arizona. they don't change theirs either. it's still not him.
imagine being told for your entire life that you are destined for greatness and then the last four years being told you are meant for greatness even higher than the GREATEST of the greatness. you were supposed to be the next mcdavid, gretzky, crosby, all of them. and it fell apart at the last moment, only because you repeated what THEY said to YOU and they didn't like that you broke that unspoken social rule not to. i think i'd be pretty pissed! i would NOT have reacted as calmly as he did on that day, lmao i burst into tears about that, and several people i knew who had followed his journey for years, did too.
he didn't have a complete meltdown, which is a miracle. but he did have one according to everyone's standards of him and how hockey players were "supposed to act". all he did was "glare" at the habs table for a split second and suddenly, he had attitude problems and he deserved what he got and he will be booed at bell centre for the rest of his life. the number of people who sent this kid VITRIOLIC hate for a half second break in his mask, is insane. INSANE. they sent ME hate for defending him. AND THEY LEAKED HIS SNAPCHAT PHOTOS. he was universally blacklisted p much, for "acting like he was above 4th overall" when he smiled SO big in every photo and was genuinely excited to be a kraken. but it wasn't enough for anyone because he was privileged and spoiled and thought he would be the first overall pick out loud.
and ik i said i hate comparisons but part of where my personal headcanon for him comes from is how he reacted to slipping in the draft, compared to adam fantilli (people loved to use this one at the time too so i must include it). adam was THRILLED to be going to columbus. but shane had the equivalent to what would be a personal meltdown to him, and while he maintained high spirits, you could tell that he was heartbroken that it seemed like he lost what had been promised to him. all as a result of him just not understanding the social rule that you don't say you're going first overall.
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meanwhile he's captained several different teams and no one had ever mentioned "attitude issues" until the night of the draft. there's more stuff too on his autism, like how he is has literally one hobby and talks about it in every video (guitar and he self admits its his one thing)
and how he acted at the space needle, while it was spinning
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seemingly obsessed with moving floors ! he also liked them in the haunted house video from last month and kept saying everything was fine when he looked like he wanted to die.
and he said earlier this year that he liked that the kraken had a new podium for their media space because now he actually knows where to put his hands
saw the tags on your rb, and as a fellow "connor bedard has autism" headcanoner, i would love to know more of your thoughts 😈
it's less of a headcanon and more of a divinely correct vibe check. but like am i wrong...???? although I do see it more as they're the same flavour of ND with different presentations, like Connor is hyperfocus ADHD, and Macklin is inattentive (this comes from someone with mixed presentation ADHD¹, they also tried to diagnose me with austim but my legs were too long i make eye contact BUT!!! 93rd% "indicating that Cassie has many behavioural characteristics similar to youth diagnosed with ASD." raaaaa 💪💪💪 93% is an A!! i ace even the tests i fail!!!) Plus his rigidity with his diet, is bonkers for someone that young (and it's been going on since he was like 14-15)
Like especially with the way that Connor's constant practicing, after practice until the zamboni kicks him off, and then on off days and optional skates hiding his gear to make him take days off?? that is pretty classic hyperfocus ADHD. And especially with the way he blames the teams loses on himself, like please sir seeing you in the mirror is not good for my health!!
And with Macklin, people often mischaracterize inattentive ADHD with not being motivated or good at routine and while yes those two things are a normal part of human life, and more-so with ADHD, he has shown many times how deeply he cares about hockey........ but I think (and also remember i am projecting) his father being THAT hands on with him and his brothers training (even now which yuck, you have your own job get your grubby paws off of your kid's job) has made him unable to self propel, and get himself into that routine? (AND AGAIN I AM PROJECTING) like something Macklin has said a few times is how the shift to a pro-hockey schedule has been hard, and yes it is an adjustment, but he has been essentially living away from his parents for YEARS, two years boarding at Shattuckk, one year (presumably) billeting in Chicago while playing in the USHL, and one year in college at BU, and I think the real shift is that... daddy is planning his workouts again, full time not just summers (also, the travaling doesn't help) AND THAT (i am projecting) is HELL to someone who built a routine, and any hope of getting back into one was dashed when he went of IR for his hip after one game. the boy needs CONSISTENCY!!!!! And until they get him 1) away from his freak father who has his hands al over his development plan, and 2) on simple routine with max five types of days (home game, home practice, home rest, away game, away rest) he will not get situated.
BACK TO BEDARD <33333
the man loves rules and procedures. him at his first training camp all doe eyed and "wanting to make the team!" so much that Kyle Davidson... maybe it was Luke Richardson who said it...??? either way his coach or his GM pulled aside his MOTHER to tell them that they needed to start looking at apartments. Before getting drafted it was never "when" it was "if i get drafted".... like dude.... it's gonna happen! Whenever he get's sen't to the box its always a "they hate me, don't they know I am unable to break rules!! not because they don't apply to me but because I can NOT break rules!" vibe (I am only kinda projecting on this one)
and I do think the type of media around them during their developmental years up has affected them, Macklin's media was always focused on his father, which reinforced his reliance/dependence on him, whereas Connor's was focused on him which encouraged him to focus on himself and what HE can do to improve.
also Connor has that DOG IN HIM
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^ connor bedard real not fake (also my childhood psychologist had this PROMENENTLY displayed in her office and i think seeing it every two weeks had an adverse affect on me)
¹ and a bunch of other learning disorders, dyslexia, dysgraphia, dyscalculia, audio processing disorder, also anxiety, depression, and cutie patootie disease (fatal 😔)
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theyrealllesbians · 4 months ago
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Regulus was manically pacing around his room, playing with the cord at the base of the phone.
"What do you mean there's another one?" He asked in an exasperated tone, rubbing the bridge of his nose to try and fight the annoyed headache he could feel brewing.
"Another wedding invitation has just come for you, from Emmaline Vance? Wait was she the one who was obsessed with Peter and would try to dance with him at every party for like a year?" Sirius said, getting progressively louder and more excited as he carried on.
"Yes." Regulus bit out. He really could not be bothered to go to another wedding. Why did everyone want to get married all of a sudden, it's only been a couple, wait no 7 years, since he left high school. God, how had it been 7 years already? "Surely I don't have to go. I can just RSVP back saying 'thanks, but no thanks' that'll work right?"
Regulus didn't even really understand why he was getting so many invitations. He'd had 5 wedding invites so far, 2 baby showers which he was not going to and 2 reunion dinners. Of course his own brother's wedding invitation was not included in this list of grievances. He's never dare complain about having to watch the happiest day of Sirius's life. Even just hearing him and Remus try and sort out the last few details made his heart warm in a way that he would never dare admit to.
"Come on, you have to!" Sirius exclaimed. "Everyone will want to see you. Besides all of us," 'us' being Sirius, Remus, James, Peter, Lily, Mary, Marlene and Dorcas, "are going and I refuse to spend another evening answering a million questions about you when you could just get over yourself and come!!!!"
Sirius was referring to the last high school reunion that happened 2 years ago that he had refused to go to. Apparently, Sirius spent the whole night getting asked about Regulus's whereabouts and what he was doing, if it was true that he had refused to work in the family business, whether he was gay and if so, was he single?
"Ugh," he groaned, "if I do go, and that's an if! I'll need a date. Where am I supposed to get a date on such short notice." Regulus's head was now beginning to ache as it had threatened to do so at the thought of having to sit through a wedding with someone he barely knew just to show that he wasn't alone and that he was doing well for himself.
"I don't know, do I? I mean you don't have to have a date." Sirius suggested, speaking through a mouth of some form of food.
"I do though don't I, otherwise I'll just get pitying looks the entire night. Or worse, people coming up to me trying to ask me out." He shivered at the thought.
Sirius choked a little, "That's a bit cocky don't you think?"
"No I don't think it is actually, not after I had Gideon touching my knee last month asking if I'd 'be interested in a night to remember', I cannot do that again. I just can't," he whined. He may as well have stomped his feet to go along with the toddler type tantrum he was getting close to. But Regulus did not care, he was being entirely serious when he said he could not do it again.
"Fine then, go with Barty?" Sirius suggested.
"Can't he's already going with Evan." Regulus responded, damning them both because it wouldn't be a half bad idea.
"Act as if you're in a throuple, you could pull it off." Sirius teased.
"Sirius" Regulus whined again, he needed real solutions.
"Pandora?"
"Doesn't really work now that everyone knows I'm gay." Regulus was getting tired now, why did he call his brother again? Oh right he didn't, Sirius called him because Regulus is currently on a work trip and Sirius is watering his plants and clearly snooping through his post.
"Well, I don't have any other ideas. This is why you need more friends." Sirius said matter of factly.
"To have as back up wedding guests?"
"Yes, that's what we do all the time. I don't actually think that anyone really knows who is with who. Oh, you could go with James. I don't think he was planning to go with anyone."
"Yeah, pass." He would not go with James Potter. Not for any particular reason, he just couldn't.
"Right well, I can't help you"
"Apparently so. I'm gonna go" Regulus just needed to lie down and think about what he was gonna do. He still had a month to figure it all out.
"Alright, see you soon, call me if you need anything else." Sirius said, trying to maintain his 'helpful' older brother personality that he had built.
"Yep will do, bye." Regulus hung up.
He really hated wedding season.
Just had this idea, it will be Jegulus. Kinda fake dating/ friends to lovers type deal. I'm actually pretty excited to start writing it and have quite a few ideas already.
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woso-dreamzzz · 8 months ago
Text
Injured VIII
Alexia Putellas x Child!Reader
Jenni Hermoso x Child!Reader
Summary: There's an emergency
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"Alexia...Alexia...Alexia!"
Alexia comes back into consciousness slowly. It's still dark out and her alarm clock proclaims it to be nearly two in the morning.
Olga is standing over the bed and even in the dim light, Alexia can tell something is wrong. Olga is saying something but Alexia is still waking up and only tunes in at the very end.
"-Already called Jenni. She's going to meet us there."
Alexia sits up, rubbing her eyes. "Meet us there? Jenni? What's going on?"
She flicks on the bedside light. Olga is still in her pyjamas but she's wearing her coat over the top and a pair of shoes. She's got Jaume on her hip.
He's got old little red pinpricks all over his neck and arms.
"Is that chickenpox?"
"No," Olga says, babbling at rapid speed as she shoves the sheets off Alexia's body," I thought it was but I saw some article on my feed about how to make sure it's not anything else and-"
"Olga? What is going on?"
"I think it's meningitis," Olga finally says," And we need to take him to the hospital."
Alexia's up like a shot, hopping around on one foot as she grabs the first set of shoes she can find. "It can't be," She denies," We got him vaccinated. I remember it!"
"That's what I thought!" Olga says back," But the rash doesn't go away when I press a glass to it and you know how he's been lately!"
Alexia nods, pulling on a Barca issued jacket. She pauses as she moves. "Bambi," She murmurs before raising her voice," Shit, Bambi! She was running a bit hot after her ballet class. But I just assumed it was all the movement. My phone...Where's my phone? I need to-"
"I used it to call Jenni," Olga says as they both go running out the door," She's going to meet us there."
She and Olga get there well before you and Jenni do.
Jaume is taken to get a spinal tap but the doctor is confident that it's meningitis so puts him on antibiotics as soon as the procedure is done.
"I don't understand," Alexia says," My kids are vaccinated! Both of them! They're up to date. I took Bambi to all of her boosters! Jaume's scheduled for another one when he hits a year!"
"Sometimes vaccines aren't one hundred percent effective," The doctor says, clearly used to calming enrage parents," What matters is that you saw it and you got him in tonight. The spinal tap should confirm the diagnosis but we've already got him on an IV." The doctor turns to leave before stopping. "You've got another child?"
Alexia's head frantically nods. "Yes. A girl. She's four. She's being brought in now."
The doctor nods, scribbling something on his clipboard. "As soon as she's here, have someone page me. Older children find it harder to stay still for the spinal tap. I'll contact anaesthesia and get someone to bring a mask."
Alexia's head changes from nodding to shaking furiously. "No!" She says it a bit louder than she meant to that even Olga looks shocked.
"It'll be better," Olga tries to explain," If they put her to sleep-"
"No, I mean..." Alexia shakes her head, the words spilling out of her mouth naturally. "She's allergic! To Isoflurane! That's the gas anaesthesia, right? Right?"
She looks around wildly as the doctor's face turns grim.
"I'll get some local," The doctor says," I know we made you wait outside for Jaume but it would be best if you came in for your daughter, if we're only using local, to keep her calm."
It's a waiting game until Jenni arrives with you and Alexia finds herself doom scrolling. She's dived into whatever article she can find on meningitis in children and the more she reads, the worse she feels.
They're yet to be allowed into see Jaume as the staff work to get him a bit more comfortable but Alexia can see him through the window and he's completely passed out asleep.
"I didn't know y/n was allergic to anything," Olga says softly.
Alexia laughs. It's more a nervous chuckle than anything else. "I don't even think Jenni does. My father was allergic. It skipped me and Alba but I wanted to check for Bambi, just in case."
"It's a good thing you did," Olga says.
Alexia looks down at her phone. "Where are they? They should be here by now."
"They'll be here soon. It's going to be okay."
It takes another ten minutes for you and Jenni to arrive.
You look infinitely worse than Jaume. The rash is completely obvious, taking over your whole body and Jenni looks just as distressed.
It takes another ten for the doctor to return.
You don't understand what's going on. Your Ma-Jenni woke you up super early before the sun has come up. She didn't get you dressed or brush your hair how you like it.
She didn't explain much at all...or, anything really. She just put you in the car and didn't say anything.
You'd tried to ask but your throat felt all scratchy and your tummy hurt.
All you know now is that you're at the hospital with Ma-Jenni, Mami and Miss Olga. There's a strange man with cold fingers that takes your shirt from you and makes you curl up on your side.
"Ma-Jenni?" You ask, trembling," What's going on?"
"Ssh, Bambi," Ma-Jenni says. Her tone is harsh, harsher than you've ever heard her speak to you and your tummy ties itself in a knot at her words.
You can hear the strange man talking nonsense to the adults and your eyes go wide at the tray of tools that's wheeled in. They look pointy and sharp, like the tools from that silly doctor show that Tia Alba likes.
You suck in a harsh breath when you feel a pinch at your back. You yelp and instantly try to wiggle away.
"No!" You cry," No! Off! Stop it! I don't want to! I don't want to!"
You force yourself to uncurl. You don't want this strange man touching your back. He makes it hurt and you got want any more of his sharp tools in your skin.
There's a grip on your legs though, forcing them back into position. You turn your head to look at who's got you against your will.
It's Ma-Jenni.
Her grip is firm and hard as she forces your kicking legs still. One of her arms has clamped them together, forcing them to stop moving while her other hand is on your hip, forcing your down onto the table until you're immobile.
You want her hands off you. Ma-Jenni has big hands that are perfect to hold you but not like this, never like this. You don't want her touching you like this.
"Ma-Jenni," You sob," Stop it! Stop it, please! Please!"
She doesn't stop though, merely readjusts her grip and pushes you down further until you well and truly can't move your bottom half.
"Stop it!" You continue to say," Stop it, Mama! Mama, stop!"
Hands curve around your shoulders and these are familiar hands too.
Mami's hands are perfect to hold in yours. They're always warm and they always hold you so gently. But now they've got your arms pinned to your chest and are forcing your shoulders firmly into the examination bed.
"Mami," You cry," Please stop. Mami, please. I'm sorry! I'm sorry, Mami! Stop!"
Mami's lips ghost your hairline. "I'm sorry, Bambi," She says, her voice a whisper that you can barely hear over your panic," I'm so sorry. It's going to be okay. You just need to be still. I'm sorry."
You can't move and the strange man is doing things to your back. You can't feel any pain but you can feel pressure and you can feel when he sticks something beneath your skin where things aren't supposed to go.
The only thing you can do is move your eyes and they focus on Miss Olga, the only adult in the room that's not actively hurting you.
"Miss Olga," You sob," Make them stop."
Her eyes nervously dart to the door like she wants to run away but she doesn't. She steps closer to where the adults are holding you, crouching down until your heads are almost the same height.
"I'm so sorry," She says to you," It's going to be okay, I promise. They're just making sure you're healthy."
"Miss Olga, please," You reply. You try to kick out your legs but Ma-Jenni just grips them more tightly," I'm sorry. I can be good. I can be better!"
"Hey," She says softly when your eyes dart towards your Mami," You are being so good. There's no one being better. Do you know what's going on?"
"No."
"You're very sick," Miss Olga speaks gently to you and brushes away a portion of hair that's covering your eyes," And we need to know what's wrong. Do you remember a few months ago when we came here and they put a needle in my arm?"
You do remember that. It was on one of hospital visits that you went on to see baby Jaume in Miss Olga's belly. They took some of her blood that appointment.
"They takin' my blood?" You ask shakily.
"They're taking a little bit of fluid from your back," Miss Olga explains," And they're going to test that for the illness they think you have. Like how they took my blood to make sure I was healthy."
You sniffle.
Mami and Ma-Jenni's hands are like shackles around your limbs, wrapped around your flesh and unwilling to even give you an inch.
"I'm scared," You whisper.
"That's okay," Olga whispers back," It's always okay to be a little scared. But you're doing so well. You're being such a brave girl. I'm sure it won't be much longer now."
You can feel the thing in your back moving and you try to shift with it but Ma-Jenni's hand clamps down on your hip and anchors you to it so you can't move again, not even a little rock back and forth.
"Hey," Olga says, pulling your attention away from what's happening at your back," Your Mami told me that you've moved up in ballet. I'm sure it's so much fun."
"It is."
"That's great! Do you want to tell me about it?"
Actually, you find that you do what to tell Olga about your ballet. Your words come out stilted and stuttered but you force them out of your mouth.
Olga smiles at you. She's got a pretty smile, you think. Mami must really love girls with pretty smiles.
"That sounds so cool," Olga says to you," You must be so talented." She leans a bit closer to you and you don't even feel the man taking the pointy thing out of your back. "Hey, maybe when you're all better, you can show me some moves. Only if you'd like to."
You duck your head down as the hands slowly leave your body. "Yes, please."
You're rolled onto your back but you keep your head tilted to look at Olga.
You don't know much about her apart from the fact that she's marrying your Mami and they had baby Jaume together.
Mami and Ma-Jenni are still talking to the doctor so you can fully focus on Olga.
She and baby Jaume look alike, you think. They've got the same eyes and nose and face shape. You think that baby Jaume might get her pretty smile when he's older too.
Her hand is gently resting on the side of your bed and you very gently move your own until your fingers are touching.
She hasn't got big hands like how Mami and Ma-Jenni's are big but they're still bigger than yours. They're safe too. You know this because she's never once dropped baby Jaume, even when she once tripped over and fell on her butt. She didn't drop Jaume once.
She smiles her pretty smile and you smile too, not even noticing when the nurse hooks you up to an IV.
"Hey, Bambi," Mami says," Everything's going to be okay now. I'm so-"
You stubbornly don't look at her and she frowns.
"Bambi?" Ma-Jenni asks," How's your back?"
You don't even deign her with an answer. It's still early and you're very tired. You don't want to talk to them, not when they pinned you down like that.
"I'm sorry," The nurse says," But I'm going to have ask you all to leave. The legal guardians can sleep over but that's all."
You don't know what legal guardians means but you do know that Ma-Jenni isn't one. She lives in Mexico for most of the year so she can't be your guardian because you don't live there with her.
She looks like she's going to argue but she doesn't. She reaches to give you a kiss on the forehead but you flinch away and she stops before her lips can press against your skin.
"I love you, Bambi," She says," And I'll be back to see you as early as I can."
You don't answer her.
It's just Olga and Mami left.
"I'm going to go sit with Jaume," Olga says and you frown.
"Jaume's sick too? Did I get him sick?" Your bottom lip wobbles.
"No, of course not." Olga says firmly," You and Jaume just got sick at the same time. It's very sad but it does happen."
"Really?"
"Yes." She heads to the door. "I hope you feel much better later. Maybe, if you feel up to it, you can tell me about your trains? Your Mami says that you love them a lot."
You nod. "Yes."
Then, it's just you and Mami left.
The nurse has set up a little bed next to yours for Mami to sleep on.
Mami seems a little nervous with you, pulling at the sleeves of her pyjama shirt. She looks at you.
You look at her.
You only saw her a few days again, when you painted pottery together and you asked her if you were wanted.
Mami doesn't sit in her bed, she pulls up a chair next to yours. She tries to reach for your hand but you pull it away before she can touch you, cradling it against your chest as you stare.
"Bambi," She begins before shaking her head and stopping. She takes a few moments before opening her mouth again. "I'm very, very sorry."
Those weren't the words that you were expecting.
You still don't answer though. If you blink, you can still feel her phantom hands over your body and the iron grip she had on your limbs.
She scoots the chair closer.
"I love you so much and I'm so sorry that you're sick."
She looks like she wants to say more but you don't really want her to keep talking.
"Bambi, I...I have not been a very good Mami to you," Alexia has to force the words out of her throat even if you give no indication that you can hear her," And I'm very, very sorry."
You still don't say anything. You just lie on your back with your eyes wide open.
"I'm sorry for what happened at home and I'm sorry for what a few-"
"I'm tired, Mami," You say, your voice quiet and exhausted.
"Right," Alexia says, scolding herself inwardly at keeping you up. It's still the middle of the night. "You go to sleep, Bambi. I'll be right here if you need me."
The stress of everything tonight seems to knock you out quickly but Alexia doesn't move to her own bed. She doesn't move. She doesn't sleep. She just stays in that seat even as a nurse pops their head in to confirm that both you and Jaume have bacterial meningitis.
A week hospital visit and IV's full of antibiotics is what awaits you both, baring any complications.
Jenni returns as soon as visiting hours begin again, pulling Alba and Eli in tow.
Eli diverts briefly to check on Olga and Jaume while Jenni and Alba come straight to you. You're still asleep when they arrive, lying on your back with a cannula in your hand to administer your medication.
"You look exhausted," Alba says in greeting, handing off a cup of to-go coffee to her sister," Did you sleep at all?"
"No." Alexia continues to stare at you, focussed on the soft rise and fall of your chest as you sleep.
"I'm surprised you're still here," Alba continues and, for once, her tone isn't biting. She seems genuinely surprised. "Haven't you got training?"
"I called off for the week," Alexia replies," And next week. It's more than enough time for them both to recover."
"You're taking time off?" Alba looks even more surprised than before. "Like, actually?"
Alexia doesn't know why that's so confusing. "Of course. My kids are sick. They need to be looked after."
Alba's mouth opens and closes a few times before she settles on something to say," How is Jaume?"
"Good, better. The doctors said that it's good we caught it when we did. The longer the rash is there for, the worse he could have gotten. It came up last night. We caught here as quick as we could."
Alexia's glad for that. She has no idea what could have happened, how much worse Jaume could have gotten if they had left it a few hours, let alone a few days.
Jenni is strangely silent at her words, reaching out to gently brush some of your hair out of your face.
"How long of a hospital stay?" Alba asks.
"About a week for both of them. The doctors said that they're going to do a hearing test with Bambi in a few days and then four weeks after she's recovered."
"And Jaume?"
"The same," Alexia confirms," Olga is with him now."
"Mama's with her," Alba says," We picked her up on the way."
There's a rustle of sheets as you blink awake. A yawn takes over your whole face as you wake up.
Mami, Ma-Jenni and Tia Alba are all looking at you and you pull your blankets up until they're over your nose.
You don't like the fact that Mami and Ma-Jenni are in the same room together. You can still feel their weights on you, pinning you to the bed as you struggled to get free.
You don't want them here. Not within arms length of you, in case they take your top away again and pin you down.
"Tia," You croak out and Alba pushes past Ma-Jenni to take your hand.
"You're not looking too good there, Bambi," Tia Alba says," How are you feeling?"
"Is Jaume still sick too?"
"He's getting a lot better. Your Abuela and Olga are with him now."
"Is Abuela and Olga going to get sick too?"
"No, don't be silly. Adults don't get sick like that." Tia Alba's teasing you. She's putting on a silly voice and it shocks a little giggle out of you. "I'm sure once your Abuela is done with baby Jaume then she'll be right in to see you."
"And Olga too?"
Alexia goes rigid in her seat. "Olga doesn't have to come in if you don't want her to."
You don't even acknowledge she's talking to you.
"No one has to come in that you don't want to," Jenni promises you but you don't give any indication that you heard her either.
"Olga thinks that I'm talented," You say to Tia Alba," She asked me about my ballet and my trains. She wanted to know more. Did you bring any of my trains?"
The bag on Jenni's shoulder is passed off to Alba. She digs through it, pulling out a spare change of clothes as well as a few model trains that had been shoved in there this morning.
"I want to show Olga my trains," You say," When she's done with baby Jaume." You run your trains over the bed, making little chugging noises with your mouth.
"I think that's a great idea, Bambi," Alexia says but you don't answer.
You haven't acknowledged her or Jenni since you woke up and it's put her on edge. Even when you were scared a few days ago, you still acknowledged her.
But your focus is purely on Alba but even that is hit and miss.
Whenever Alba reaches out to play trains with you, you flinch away. You look up at her in shock each time before glancing back down at your arms as if you can't believe you flinched.
"How are you feeling, Bambi?" Eli asks as she comes in.
You shrug and raise your hand. "They put a thing in my hand."
"They put one in your brother's too," Eli says," It's to give you your medicine."
"Did they put the thing in Jaume's back too?"
Eli nods. "They did."
Your eyes are haunted as you stare at her. "Did they pin him down too?"
Whatever bubble that the room was in bursts and Eli notices the way Alexia and Jenni both exchange a wide eyed look, like two little children caught red handed.
Eli has to think over her words carefully. "You're both very sick," She settles on eventually," Do you know why they had to put something in your back?"
You parrot back the words Olga told you and Abuela nods.
"That's right," She says.
"Olga says I was very brave even though I was crying."
"I'm sure you were the bravest little girl in the world," Abuela kisses your forehead but her lips feel too much like Mami and Ma-Jenni's and suddenly you can feel their hands on you again.
You kick your legs out and move your arms to shake the phantom hands off and they're gone as quickly as they appeared.
"Alexia, Jenni," Abuela says," Can I talk to you out in the hall?"
As they all leave, you look through the windows of your room.
Olga is lingering outside, looking into your room every so often before looking away.
"Tia Alba," You say," Can I still show Olga my trains?"
"Should I bring her in here?"
"Yes, please."
Ma-Jenni and Mami stay outside with Abeula for a long time but you don't even notice.
You've never talked with Olga like this before, not really. There had been a few moments when she was pregnant with baby Jaume where you watched things together and you helped her cook but you had never been like this with her before.
You hand her one of your trains and smile when she plays with you, gently moving the trains around your bed together.
"Is Jaume going to be okay?" You ask her because she's Jaume's mami and she knows things like that.
"He's going to be just fine," She promises you," And so are you. Just a few more days."
"I'm going to miss ballet," You say," That's bad. Mami never misses her training so I shouldn't miss mine."
"Your Mami's missing training now," Olga says," And she's missing it until you get healthy again. That's what you should focus on. Getting healthy again so you can go back to ballet."
"Mami is missing training? Why?"
"Because she wants to make sure you're okay," Olga says," Because she loves you."
You don't believe her but Olga looks very serious so you think that she must think that's true.
"Olga," You say," I'm hungry. When's lunch?"
She laughs a little bit about your blatant change of subject. "A few hours still," She says," How about I go to the shop and get you a snack?"
Olga slips out into the hallway where Eli is still lecturing Jenni and Alexia about their treatment of you. Your sobs and begging still rung in Olga's ears, the way that you cried and cried and begged and begged.
"She's hungry," She says, interrupting the lecture," I'm going to get her a snack."
"I'll come with you," Jenni says," I need a coffee."
The trip to the little shop was awkward, made even more awkward when Olga selected a plain chocolate bar only to have it plucked from her hand and replaced with one with caramel.
"She thinks the plain ones are too hard," Jenni says, almost carelessly," She doesn't like how they feel on her teeth. She prefers caramel."
Olga stares down at the chocolate in her hand, noting down another new thing in the column dedicated to you in her mind. It's painfully bare with only a few things - trains, ballet, the allergy she found out yesterday and now your favourite kind of chocolate.
She had told Alexia she wasn't threatened by Jenni and that's still true but that doesn't mean that Olga isn't intimidated.
Jenni just looks a bit intimidating with her tattoos and her height and the stern look on her face when it comes to you.
"Thanks."
It's silent for a moment as they both wander through the winding hallways back up to the peds wing.
"No," Jenni says eventually, shaking her head like she had been fighting with herself," I'm sorry, Olga. But I have to know...How could you let this happen? With Bambi, I mean? Stuff like this doesn't happen overnight."
Olga wants to bolt, to run and escape this but she holds herself firm as she scrambles to find something to say, knowing exactly what Jenni is talking about. "I didn't notice," She settles on eventually," It is wrong to say but it is true."
Jenni can't seem to understand though. "But how? Bambi is...How could you just not notice?"
"I just didn't," Olga says," And that was wrong of me. It was wrong of Alexia. We've talked about it...a lot...We're trying to move forward, for y/n."
Jenni looks at her, long and hard and Olga suddenly understands what rival players feel when they see Jenni come onto the pitch.
"Don't let it happen again," Jenni says firmly before taking off again, leaving Olga to scramble to keep up.
You're exactly as they left you, sitting in the middle of your bed. You're making chugging noises with your mouth as you run a train over Eli's arm.
Alexia is back in her seat next to your bed but you've scooched away from her as far as you can get.
"Caramel!" You cheer when Olga presents your food," That's my favourite! Thank you!"
"You're welcome."
You munch happily on your food a little but before you stop to scratch at your rash.
Automatically, like she did a few days ago when she first noticed it, Jenni takes your hand to stop you scratching.
You violently flinch away, tearing your hand away from hers. You scrunch your eyes closed firmly as you suck in air.
You can feel the hands on your legs again, forcing you to go immobile as the strange man pokes and prods at your back.
"No!" You cry out, turning away and curling up under your blanket," Stop it! Stop it, Mama! No bad touches! No more bad touches!" You kick your legs out. "No! Stop it!"
"Out," You can hear your Abuela say.
Eli-"
"Out, Jenni! Alexia, you too! Olga-"
"I'll go and see Jaume. He should be up from his nap by now."
"No! No! No!" You continue to chant as the blanket is pealed back.
It's not Ma-Jenni though. It's Abuela with Tia Alba hovering over her shoulder.
You sniffle if you sit up again.
"What happened, huh, Bambi?" Abuela asks," What was that about?"
"Mama hurt me," You say," When the strange man touched my back. I asked her not to! I asked her to stop!"
"I know," Abuela says," I know, Bambi."
"I didn't know what was happening," You say," It was scary and Mama wouldn't tell me what was going on."
It was very scary. You didn't think Ma-Jenni would do that to you, would pin you down and not explain what was happening. Mami could be harsh sometimes and you know she can be rough on the pitch too. She even said she was sorry while doing it but Ma-Jenni didn't.
Ma-Jenni told you to shh and pinned you down and didn't say sorry. You can still feel her hands on you, constantly pinning your legs down and pushing you further into bed.
She didn't say sorry at all and that's what scares you.
"I'm sorry that scared you," Abuela says," I'm sure Jenni didn't mean to."
"She didn't say sorry," You say," And she hurt me."
"Bambi-"
"She did! I'm not lying!"
"No one says' you're lying," Tia Alba assures you," I think you're telling the truth but, Bambi, you needed to have that done, so you can get better."
Ma-Jenni comes back when it's dark. There's no lights coming through your windows and the moon is out so you know it's night time.
Mami is meant to be sleeping on the bed next to you but she's not there.
The door to your room opens though and Ma-Jenni steps in.
But she doesn't look like Ma-Jenni though. There's something different about her. Maybe it's her too sharp features or her too pointed teeth. Maybe it's the curve of her nails or the way she's looming over you.
You can't move and Monster-Jenni's sharp claws dig into your legs easily.
You shriek but she's pressing her whole weight down onto the hand that's got your legs while her other one pins you down by your chest. You can't move. You can't stop her no matter how much you plead and beg and sob.
She's still holding you with bad touches and the strange man appears again. He's got too sharp teeth too and a massive needle that looks even scarier than before.
"Mami!" You cry as you jolt awake, gripping your bedsheets and screaming.
Mami's up like a shot, looking around like she thinks someone's hiding in the shadows. You're scared that Monster-Jenni is there too.
"Mami!" You sob, reaching desperately for her, your mind recycling her apologies as she held you down.
This time though, you crawl into her arms and sob, burying your face in her shirt as you cry.
For a moment, Alexia is in shock at your willingness to touch her. Whatever you had dreamt about must have been bad because you've curled your body around hers and Alexia very carefully curls her arms around you.
"It's okay, Bambi," She whispers," It's okay. It wasn't real. None of it was real. I've got you. Mami's got you."
"Mami," You whimper," Mami, it hurts."
"What hurts?"
"Everything!"
"I'm so sorry, Bambi," Alexia says and she knows that you know what she means, just like how you know she knows what you mean by everything," It's all going to be okay. I promise, this is all going to be okay. No matter what happens."
"I'm scared, Mami."
"I know, Bambi. I'm going to help make it better."
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aettuddae · 3 months ago
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business matter — chapter 118.
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↳ synopsis: two of the most important kpop companies covet a partnership with a huge global brand, only to be surprised when the deal is extended to both labels. fearing potential sabotage and cynical strategies to secure exclusivity for just one of them, both CEOs resort to desperate measures. in a bid to maintain trust and prevent betrayal before the signing, they come up with a pact: forcing a fake relationship between the leaders of their star girlgroups. if one side attempted to fail the other, they threaten to expose it all to the conservative south korea.
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masterlist | prev | next
[written chapter]
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karina wandered among the people trying to find her friends, she didn't know exactly where they were because the place they had positioned themselves was at the center of the dance floor where all the people were crowded together. she asked for permission and passed between strangers, but realized she was circling the place to no avail, she assumed they would have gone to sit at their table so she started moving in that direction. she proceeded to keep running groupings of the path, finally emerging from the crowd and being spit out to a clear passage on the side, left so that they people could walk through.
she examined both sides, trying to mentally locate herself in the club and guessing where her table was based on her location. she made her way to the left slowly so she could watch carefully to find her friends.
"jimin." she heard at the same time someone tapped her shoulder.
she had clearly done things wrong as she was paying for her karma. the universe kept sending her challenges as if she was odysseus himself, the only difference was that she didn't have the will nor the motivation to overcome them and just wanted to disappear before she had to solve a worse problem.
"jimin." repeated that voice that, unfortunately, she couldn't mistake for any other.
she spun on her heels, her face serious, she wouldn't even dare to give him a surprised reaction because he didn't deserve any emotion related to good things.
"do you need something, kim jongin?" her stance was rigid, facing him ready to defend herself or attack him for anything he had to say.
"to apologize." the boy had a droopy attitude, he wanted to sound honest.
"that's very empathetic of you, but i don't need your apology." she was going to keep walking, but he grabbed her shoulder again to make her look at him.
"i'm really sorry for how it all ended." he continued. "i acted like an idiot, i didn't understand you." he admitted doing his best to look like a wet dog.
"whatever you say, bye." again she was stopped by the boy as she wanted to run away. "jongin, i don't care what you have to say."
"listen, i know i was wrong, that i was selfish." he held her from both sides to keep her from trying to walk away from the conversation. "but i want to show you that i can be better."
"jongin-" she pinched the bridge of her nose as if to help her stay calm, but as the boy's words sank in she looked at him abruptly. "what do you mean by that?"
"that i'm sorry for not knowing how to act at the time, but i want to make amends." explained with tenderness in his eyes. "if you want too, i want to try again." he clarified.
karina paused for a second, completely stunned, it seemed that the music had faded and people were no longer dancing. she inspected the man's features looking for a hint of honesty in them, she wanted to decipher if he really believed in what he was saying,
because if he did then he was the most disgusting person she had ever met.
"jongin, are you an idiot?" she removed his hands from her body roughly. "no, in fact, do you think i'm an idiot?" she pressed her own chest with her index finger pointing at herself. "that you can find me by chance at a party, put on an innocent face, say three stupid things you read on the internet and get me back?"
"things aren't the way you think they are." he denied with a sad expression. "i really miss you."
"why are you doing this?"
"because-"
"did sehun leave you?"
kai was silent, paralyzed, wondering how the woman had figured that out, going over in his mind all the people who could have told her.
"see how stupid you are?" the girl reaffirmed.
"how do you know about sehun?" he asked dumbfounded.
"i saw it." she clarified, feeling a little embarrassed as she remembered her tactics.
"you saw us?" the boy was surprised, afraid of what they might have been doing when they were discovered.
"i saw your chats." she elaborated.
"you went through my phone!" now jongin was angry, it showed on his face and in his voice, he wouldn't in his most jealous moment have done that.
"i didn't check your phone, jackass, your chats were open on your computer!" she revealed, flustered at the oldest's accusations.
"how long have you known?" he cocked his head to the side, the times and jimin's actions didn't make sense no matter how hard he tried to combine them. "were you with me for these last few months even knowing?" there was some hint of hope in that question, as if it meant she could forgive him.
"i would never be consciously cuckolded, i found out when we broke up." she didn't think much about her words because of the repulsion to the idea that he would think she would let herself be played that way.
"were you at my house after we broke up?" the volumes of jongin's voice rose brutally. "are you crazy?"
"i wanted to give you back your clothes and you weren't there!" she defended herself.
"so you broke into someone else's house without permission?" he rebutted.
"hey, don't change the subject, you cheated on me!" karina reminded.
"you crashed my house!" kim was totally offended at this new information he was getting.
"you were with someone else for seventy percent of our relationship!" she was annoyed at the lack of interest the boy was showing in the subject.
"you committed a crime!"
"damn, come on, jongin, i don't think it's a crime if i have your door code and we were boyfriend and girlfriend, i need you to use your brain." yu tapped his temple lightly signaling him to think.
"don't do that!" he grabbed the girl's wrist away from her body and directed her downward, roughly.
"hey!" exclaimed jimin, it hadn't hurt, but she was shocked by the action.
she was ready to complain and now add this to her list of things to fight about, but was distracted from further yelling when someone stepped between the two of them.
"leave her alone." between kai and karina was now serim, who calmly tried to push the boy away without using much force.
"great, my favorite person." said jongin wryly.
"the appreciation is mutual." she flashed him a smile with the same energy.
"this isn't about you, so i'm going to ask you to leave." jongin tried to run her off, but serim wouldn't let her.
"i don't think you have anything to talk about." dismissed the girl. "so you'd better get on with your life, okay?"
serim brought her hand to karina's back and rested it there to guide her in the opposite direction of the man. feeling the contact, the younger one wrapped her arms around her body, clinging to her. she just wanted to feel her once again, to breathe in her scent, but if she complained she'd say it was to get jongin to stop bothering.
"listen, you." jongin addressed jang with an annoyed tone. "you have already intervened too much in my relationship, stop meddling in matters that don't concern you." he demanded with a defiant tone.
"i think you're the one who's out of line now." the newcomer contradicted. "go away."
"no, you should go." he refused to listen. "i am settling some stuff with my girl, you have no business here." he was impatient.
"you cheated on me!" exclaimed karina, tired of saying it.
"she's my girl." serim stated at the same time.
"i'm your girl?" the younger girl turned to look at her perplexed.
"shut up, this isn't the time." jang ignored her.
"but this is about me!" complained jimin.
"is it because of her that you're doing this whole circus?" jongin accused the blackhaired one. "you want to feel less guilty about falling in love with her when you were with me." he assumed.
"what are you talking about? you had a whole boyfriend behind my back!" at that point karina really thought jongin must be hallucinating.
"why can't you admit that you cheated on me?" the boy questioned.
"but you were on a break." interrupted serim, lifting her index finger in the air pointing out her fact.
"and you were cheating on me!" shouted jimin in despair.
"so did you!" replied the man. "and besides you're all over her right now in front of me!" he grabbed serim's arm jerking from it, as if trying to pull her toward him to get her away from yu's grip.
"don't touch her!" a new voice joined the argument. "can you stop? i know you're still dating sehun." it was kyungsoo, helping her friend.
"but look who it is." announced kim when he saw the boy. "did you have something to do with all this?"
"no, this is your fault and your fault alone." now the one speaking was jennie. "you have a history of being a cheater, don't play dumb." he didn't know what to say seeing his other ex-girlfriend there.
"and i just don't like you." sejeong joined all her friends who had gone to accompany serim.
"thank you." muttered jimin to the new one since she was the closest one.
"i kind of dislike you too." she informed, causing karina to nod in understanding and fall silent.
"i heard we were terrorizing kim jongin so i came." one more person appeared.
"ryujin." spoke the attacked one.
"i hate you." she made clear. "go away and leave my friend alone for once." she proposed. "if you are not together today, it's because you handled a difficult situation selfishly, and also cheated on her." she reminisced. "you don't want to put yourself in the victim's place, this is your fault."
"leave her alone already." jennie took the lead again. "weren't you gay?"
"i'm bisexual." he put a hand to his chest in offense.
"stop hurting karina." the other man interfered. "and please don't start hurting sehun." he advised.
"it's over between us, jongin, it's over." finished karina.
the boy paused to look at them all with annoyance, but quickly realized that this was a war he would not win. he lowered his head in frustration and left without another word.
"thanks guys." expressed serim to everyone once he was away.
"thanks for that, i thought you guys hated me." said karina.
"we don't like you, but we like jongin less." expressed ryujin.
"ryujin." her best friend gave her a puzzled look.
"i'm just being everyone's voice." proclaimed the named one exalted.
"i can't believe i was with that guy for so long." the girl was still attached to serim's body as the older one, focused on the discussion, hardly noticed that karina was hugging her and hadn't pushed her away, so she took advantage of the closeness to rest her head on her shoulder seeking comfort. "it's the worst thing in the world."
"sure, yes, i agree." serim raised her hands in the air to indicate that she wasn't reciprocating her so she should also pull away.
"let her go." sejeong tapped yu on the shoulder to make her understand that she was talking to her. "let her go." she said again, now tugging on her waist.
"stop it, jimin." now commanded her best friend, to whom she did listen. "you better go do that outside." she ran to the side, clearing the way for them to pass.
"what?" serim was astonished.
"jimin needs calm, go with her, you were the one who was there for her all through the jongin situation anyway." she suggested, leading them outside.
"what about you?" she looked at shin confused.
"i can't, i have a cold." she pretended to cough.
led by a force by the name of ryujin, karina and serim ended up alone in the club's courtyard where people went to smoke.
"what are you doing?" jang's friends questioned her.
"you don't understand." she hedged upset. "i have a manhwa to update."
outside, jimin and serim stood in silence, separated by a significant distance from each other. neither could find anything that wasn't awkward to say, and maybe serim didn't even want to, this one pulled out the box of cigarettes she had in her pocket and lit one, starting to smoke it.
"namu." called the younger one.
"don't call me that." she reminded her.
"semmie?" she tested.
"only my friends call me semmie." she was right, she had never earned the place of a friend.
"serim."
"that's my name." the addressed stated sarcastically.
"i didn't know you'd be here tonight." she clarified. "sorry if you came to distract yourself and i showed up."
"that's okay, i didn't think you came on purpose." they both nodded, closing the subject.
"and thanks for helping me with jongin." she added.
"it's no problem." jang brushed off. "you know i can't stand him." she laughed softly.
"thank you anyway." she restated. "and about that thing about me being your girl..." mentioned with a playful tone.
"i just wanted to make him mad." she cut her off quickly. "don't get excited."
"i already got excited, now don't try to stop me." karina joked. "do you usually refer to a lot of strangers as 'your girl' or is it just me?"
"what are you talking about?" serim raised an eyebrow, lost.
"it's good to see you again, jang serim-ssi." she gave a barely noticeable bow with her body.
"ah, you're still at it?" took a puff on her cigarette. "i remember telling you not to bother me, though."
"one thing you should know about me is that i'm very stubborn." jimin had switched to using a flirtatious tone. "and i tend to get my way." she tilted her head to the side, a leaned smile painted on her lips.
"why do i get the feeling i already knew that?" she corresponded the game.
"how strange." the youngest feigned disinterest. "we must be connected."
"or you look a little crazy." she held up her hand, demonstrating with it the word little.
karina let her mouth open indignantly at the response, then let out an almost soundless laugh and averted her gaze to the front. "can i confess something to you?"
"as yu jimin-ssi or as the girl who used to live in my apartment?" she flicked the cigarette butt she had left.
"from jimin to namu." she replied, serim motioned with her head for her to continue talking. "i almost kissed a girl today." she suddenly shared.
serim kept silent, she furrowed her eyebrows, easy to tell she was thinking about how she should react to that confession, she brought her tongue to the side and pressed it against the inside of her cheek, stifling the opinions that formed in her brain that impulsively attempted to come out. she swallowed saliva, gave a long sigh, it was requiring all of her to keep calm.
"i don't want to listen to this." she decided, turning around to go back inside with her friends.
"namu." jimin managed to catch her jacket and hold her in place. "nothing happened with her." she made clear.
"then why are you telling me?" the woman was starting to get agitated, not being able to hide that it hurt.
"nothing happened because of you." she explained, moving her grip up to her chest where with each hand she grabbed both sides of the zipper of the jacket serim was wearing.
"i don't know what you mean." she felt her eyes getting wet. "if you're telling me this to hurt me..."
"serim, i don't want to hurt you anymore." she stated. "i don't want to cause you or me any more pain." assured, feeling her emotions welling up. "i'm telling you this since i didn't want to kiss her because i couldn't stop thinking about you, so you can see that i don't want to and can't be with anyone but you." the girl confessed. "namu." now she held her face gently. "my namu." she looked into those eyes she loved so much, which now looked sad, on the verge of breaking. "i know that i should have treated you better, do you think we can start again?"
serim wondered if jimin might be lying.
she had hidden things and avoided her feelings, but would she lie to her? after neglecting her heart, would she lie to do it again? serim wanted to give herself to karina, there wasn't a single fiber of her body that didn't want to belong to her, or that didn't already claim to be hers,
but you are what you did, and what did her actions make of jimin? if she was a coward, it was nothing that couldn't be solved with a spontaneous burst of courage. was that what was going on? was this question her finally plucking up courage, was she finally fighting for her like she wanted her to?
and if so, should serim trust her again?
"i've had too much of you already." she whispered, almost inaudibly. "it scares me that you're not being honest and that you will ruin me again." she completed. "i don't know if you deserve another chance." she sentenced and then walked back inside, losing herself in the crowd the further she went.
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(!)
— taglist [CLOSED]: @yoontoonwhs @cwpiqwon @aliceiwk @xen248 @gtfoiydlyj @rinapomu @aeriuchinarga @multiliker @somedaydream @impossiblesharkcashrebel @yjiminswallet @nwjnsloona @yerimbrit @73vyn @dni-unavailable @yizhuobberi @sewiouslyz @yeetaberry127 @masuowo @yallatalla @aerithykly @chaenniefirst @minfolio @starrynini05 @hotluvlet @wmnrhot @mineige @lisaswifey @brocoliisscared @fae-the-wanderer
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rue-dixon · 4 months ago
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Is Chilchuck's wife blonde? Analysis:
I've noticed a lot of the fandom doubts what Chilchuck's wife looks like and still thinks she's a blonde woman. Which is understandable, since it seems to be something Kui really likes to point out. But my theory is it's intentional, and more important than we think.
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As I said, be clearly has a type for blonde woman. And Kui makes a point of this by continuing point it out in the World Guide side book. But why? It hardly seems relevant, after all it's only mentioned once in the manga during chapter 58.
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Many fans assumed the first woman that succubus took the form of was his wife. Which is understandable. But that gets quickly thrown out the window when the next serval succubus that attack him all look completely different. But according to Marcille, they're all blonde. And she even asks if that was because of his wife. Which is why many people probably think she's blonde.
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But Chilchuck gets upset when she asks. Now at first you assume it's just Chilchuck being embarrassed as always. But at this point he's talked about his family multiple times calmly. Especially after having such a serious talk about his wife just a few chapters earlier, why would he react so strongly again now?
Now let's put that aside for a second. Why does the fandom believe the woman with short black hair is his wife? Well simply because she shares multiple features with his daughters, who we actually do see and confirmed to be his daughters.
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His oldest, Meijack, shares her more unique eye shape. And his middle, Flertom, her hair. They even have the same small piece of stray hair on the top of their heads. So it's highly unlikely this is a coincidence.
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And according to this official colored sketch, neither of his children are blonde. So it's safe to assume his wife is in fact, not blonde. So then why is it talked about so much?
Well actually I think his "fetish" to say, along with the succubus is what drove his wife to leave him.
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So before they encounter the succubus, Chilchuck freaks out when he realizes what attacks them. Which isn't out of character for him, but he's very specific with what he said. It's clear he really, REALLY doesn't like the succubus. Even Marcille comments about how it seems he's seen one before.
Now we do know due to a side comic that a party tried to feed him to a succubi group. Which could explain why he's so scared, but he never actually sees any of them. He runs away before they even find them. (I'd provide evidence but I've reached my limit on photos and I don't feel like making multiple posts lol.)
So why does he know so much about how they work then?
Here's my theory:
He actually DID run into a group of succubus a long time ago with another party. The same party that actually knew and ended up meeting his wife. Blonde woman like we saw attacked him, and the party already knowing about his wife assumed; oh! That must be what if wife looks like of course! Eventually down the road the party meet her. Only to be surprised that she looked absolutely nothing like his fantasy they saw. So of course through drunken fun, the party brings this up. More to make fun of him if anything. I'd assume him and his wife were already having problems up to this point. Maybe she had doubts of him being disloyal since he was always away. Or maybe doubts that he didn't loved her anymore, or even no longer found her attractive or desirable still. So hearing that a creature that supposedly transformed into the thing your heart wants the most, and it's the complete opposite of her confirmed whatever insecurity she had in her mind. That maybe the woman they turned into was even his mistress herself?! Knowing Chilchuck, he probably didn't try to comfort her or at least did it very well. Or maybe not even try to talk about it after at all and instead just tried to blow it off. Which only made things worse. And that pushed her to finally leave. Her final straw possibly.
However this is purely speculation of course. A theory based on the extremely limited knowledge we have of that night and their marriage in general.
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hastalavistabyebye · 5 months ago
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I've been thinking about it for quite some time (and it's a good thing my blog is so smol because a lotta people ain't going to like this) but we need to be honest for two seconds. Fox wouldn't be hated for killing Fives.
It's not the simple usual take on how Fox didn't fired right away and tried to calm Fives down first, how he was just doing his job. This is true but it goes deeper even.
The clones were taught how to deal with traitors.
We saw it with Rex when he met Cut Lawquane. He was faced with a deserter and his first reaction wasn't one of peaceful understanding at all, quite the contrary. Of course he let him go and live with his family in the end. (Interesting to note that there were no officer present too) But what's interesting is not the conclusion he made, but his instinctual, learned behavior : deserters = traitors = bad.
And during the Umbara arc, we saw that the clones also learned how to form a firing squad. They knew how to do that. Yes, in the end, again, they ended up letting their siblings live but there also was the aspect that they already doubt Krell's orders AND that this situation was clearly, stupidly unfair and wrong. And they didn't like nor trust the general himself already. So it was an easy order to go against. But then again what is interesting is that they knew how to do that.
The idea of the Vode not knowing or even being able to conceive shooting a brother, even less killing one, is very sweet but sadly not true. They are soldiers first, born and trained. They would not look kindly to traitors and deserters. They would also know how to court martial the formers, even (or maybe especially) if it's other clones.
All of this to say that Fox killing Fives after he tried to kill the Supreme Chancellor of the Republic ? The highest ranking person in the entire Republic ? And he was also armed, dangerous and out of control AND didn't listen to attempts at calming him. In all of those conditions, very little people would bat an eye to Fox taking those actions.
The only people that would hate Fox are the people close to Fives -Rex and Torrent, Cody and some of the 212th too maybe, by proxy, and Anakin. The Jedi would frown at this, Obi-Wan and Ahsoka maybe more than the rest and would be more affected, because they were close to Fives too.
But the rest of the GAR ? Well of course some won't see it with a kind eye because there's always people to tell you they would have done better, but globally they wouldn't mind so much. Because what Fox did was something they had been, in fact, trained for.
And even if there was a GAR/Guard divide, it wouldn't be this event that make everything goes from bad to worse. It might be one more critic on Fox, it might not be taken kindly. But in the end it would be more because it's Fox and they don't-like-Fox, more than the killing a brother part.
Okay this is longer than I thought it would be 😅 but my point still is : the Vode are soldiers first and foremost. They don't act under the same values and morals as us at all. They were trained to kill enemies of the Republic. If those enemies were among the Republic didn't change a thing. If those enemies were fellow clones didn't change a thing, they were trained to kill them too. So Fox only doing his job in that instant also means that a lot of other Clone Commanders would have done the very same as him. Maybe not all of them, sure (it can depend from their generals) (which Fox don't have from what we know). But maybe some of them wouldn't even have tried to resonate with Fives at all.
The point is : the GAR wouldn't have hate Fox for this. If they hated him, killing Fives wasn't the reason, nor even the starting point most likely.
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inheritedbelly · 3 months ago
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From Arrogant Princess to Manual Laborer
It was my day off, and I was already bored just thinking about staying still. As I walked down the sidewalk, my mind full of disdain for that stifling day, I spotted a manual laborer leaning against the wall next to the shop. He was only wearing pants, his sweaty, exposed body making his repulsive appearance even worse. He was an old, pot-bellied man with sticky skin from all the sweat, and the graying hair scattered across his arms and chest only made him uglier. The mere sight of that man made me nauseous.
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For some inexplicable reason, he flashed a feeble smile when he saw me approaching and said in a hoarse voice, "Good morning, pretty girl."
That irritated me deeply. Who did he think he was? I responded, full of disgust: "Shut up, you ridiculous fool." The smile vanished from his face, replaced by a look of sadness. He lowered his head, clearly hurt, and went back to his heavy work, but I didn’t care anymore. It wasn’t my problem. I left home that morning determined to waste some of my time on something trivial. That's when I passed by that little esoteric shop in the city center, almost hidden between a café and a clothing store. I went in, more out of curiosity than real interest. The place was a mess of trinkets, smelling of cheap incense, with lighting that seemed to come from melted candles. "So ridiculous," I thought, smirking in disdain.
"Can I help you with something, dear?" the clerk asked in a soft, almost irritating voice. The way she looked at me, as if she knew something I didn't, made me uncomfortable. But I wasn't going to show it.
"Oh, I'm just looking. These things… they're funny, aren't they?" I replied, not hiding the sarcasm in my voice. She didn't seem fazed.
"Sometimes, the funny things have more power than we imagine," she said, with that tone that only made me want to laugh more.
She looked at me for a moment, as if she were assessing me, and then said, "I have something you might want to see." Without waiting for my response, she went to the back of the shop and returned with a small metal amulet, hanging from a black cord. It looked cheap, worthless.
"This amulet can reveal a person's true nature. Maybe it will show you something interesting," she said, holding it out to me. I laughed, taking the amulet with disdain.
"Oh, sure, like this is going to make any difference in my life. It's going to put me in my place, right?" I replied, laughing at the suggestion. "Well, at least it will give me a good laugh later." Still laughing inside at the situation, I held the amulet in my hand, and then, in the blink of an eye, everything changed.
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Terror overwhelmed me. The world around me seemed to spin as I struggled to comprehend what had happened. I looked at my hands… thick, dirty, calloused. I was wearing a shirt that was drenched in sweat, sticking to my skin and accentuating every curve of that voluminous belly. And the hair… my God, the hair! I felt the brush of the damp hair under my armpits, heavy and nauseating with every movement. The stench of my own body was unbearable. A bitter, sour smell mixed with the stifling heat of sweat running in rivers down my back. I could feel my new anatomy sticking between my legs. With a mix of panic and fury, I re-entered the store, feeling that grotesque body sway with each heavy step. I was furious, desperate, and at the same time disgusted with every part of myself. I adjusted my shirt, embarrassed with people around staring at me. As I corrected my posture, I could feel the spherical belly against the now-closed damp shirt—it was terrifying.
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“What have you done to me?!” I yelled, but the voice that came out wasn’t mine. It was deep, rough, laden with a rage that felt so… masculine. I stood there, panting, feeling the sweat trickle down my stubbly face as I tried to understand what was happening. That’s when I saw her: my body, my real body, standing in the store, just as terrified as I was. I was looking back at myself with my own eyes… and they were filled with fear. The old witch of the store smiled enigmatically and said, “This place provides fair exchanges. Now, the worker is in a better position… and you are where you truly belong.” I clutched my protruding belly while shouting, “Do you think this is my place?” The witch merely laughed, watching my terrified face. I looked at that man in my body, trying to process what she was saying. He was as lost as I was, looking at himself, at the slender, elegant hands that were now his. He looked confused, scared, like a child in someone else’s body.
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I had to make a deal with the shopkeeper. I knew my parents would never believe a word I said about what had really happened. Who would? She promised that the change would last only one day. "As soon as you sleep, you'll return to your original body," she assured. I had no choice. I went to the worker's house, and he went to mine.
His house was a cramped, dirty cubicle, nothing like what I was used to. I just wanted to lie down and sleep, but before that, I had to use the bathroom. My God, the disgust I felt… that bathroom was so degrading, with the cold water, the sensation of damp hair, and the unbearable stench of sweat embedded in the skin. I almost cried out of revulsion.
Finally, I lay down on the hard bed, feeling the weight of that body against the rough sheets. I focused on trying to sleep, hoping that the nightmare would end.
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But when I woke up… The first thing I did was scratch my hairy chest—nothing had changed. I was still him. The smell, the weight, the sensation of the hair, the belly that felt like it weighed tons on my body. In desperation, I grabbed the phone and tried to call the store. But the response was always the same: "The number does not exist." My God, the number does not exist!
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Panicking, I went to the store in person. When I arrived, my heart sank. The store simply did not exist anymore. There was no sign that it had ever been there. It was as if everything had been a delusion.
I stood there, sweat running down my back, feeling the weight of that grotesque body crushing me. And for the first time in my life, I didn't know what to do...
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In the past few months, my life has turned into a nightmare. I had to learn to be a man in ways I never imagined. The body, once smooth and feminine, now forced me into a rough, macho behavior that I hated. There were no traces left of my former femininity; everything had transformed into something I barely recognized as myself. No matter how hard I tried, not even my feminine gait remained; I walked like a big, beer-bellied man.
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Going to the bathroom has become a terrifying experience. Peeing standing up? A nightmare. Now I understand why guys always miss; it's incredibly difficult to aim with these things, especially since mine seems to be on the larger side. And men's bathrooms, with their awful odors and filth, are even worse. The simple act of taking a shower has turned into a complex task. I no longer needed to use shampoo on my head since my hair was falling out in clumps, but now I had to use shampoo all over my body to clean all the hair that covered me and also to try to control the unbearable smell emanating from me. I tried shaving, but the hair grew back so quickly that it was impossible to keep up. With the miserable pay of a laborer, I couldn't afford a constant shaving routine. Waxing was expensive, and the rapid hair growth was a constant reminder of my new reality. I ended up resigning myself to dealing with the smell and the hair because there was no other choice.
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I never heard from the laborer who took over my old body. He had no family, and now I was alone, condemned to live as a middle-aged, hairy, and unpleasant man. There was no more hope of reversing what had happened. Now, my nights are spent in bars, drinking beer and trying to find some comfort in this new life. I’ve learned to go shirtless because the feeling of my belly pressing against the shirt was unbearable, and the heat only made it worse. Sometimes there are a few advantages: I no longer have to worry about wearing shirts all the time, and in a way, I feel an independence I didn't have before. I sit at the table, scratch my belly, and give it a slap, letting out a heavy sigh. I look at the reflection of a middle-aged man in my glass and sigh again. I am a man now…
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persephone1700 · 5 months ago
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Please me- Michael Gavey x Reader
Hello! I've been obsessed with all the smut stories I've been reading on this app about several characters… so I've written something I thought of.
Please be kind since English is not my first language and it's the first thing +18 I've ever written ( I kinda took advantage that I was ovulating to imagine the most dirty scenarios and write them hehe)
I plan to divide them in three parts.
I hope you like it.
Warning Tags: 18+ ONLY. Smut, Oral Sex (Reader receiving), Embarrasing himself.
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Part 2
It was a Friday evening, and the campus was almost empty. Half the students were either at local pubs, attending parties, or had gone home for the weekend.
Almost everyone, except for Michael. He had stayed behind without any plans, as usual. As a "Norman no-mates" kind of student, he found himself without an invitation to any parties.
He decided the best use of his time was to begin working on the final list of problems he had due in a month.
He didn’t want to be with those wankers anyway.
He had no need to study or even try—math was just so obvious and simple. Yet, he made his way to the library, trying to escape his pristine bedroom for a while.
When he walked into the library, he didn’t expect to see you there, sitting at a table with your bare legs crossed, leaning into the table, focused on a paper you were working on.
Everybody at school seemed to gravitate towards you and your group of friends, thanks to Felix Catton.
Michael couldn’t begin to understand what was so interesting about that damn bloke.
Even his best mate and only friend, Oliver, had found himself enjoying the company of Felix and his superficial group of friends rather than his.
How can anyone be friends with someone who doesn’t even have an ounce of gray matter?
They must all be idiots.
Every one of them. Including you.
He had decided that the first time he met you during tutorial sessions with Professor Ware. He didn't even understand how you ended up paired with him for tutoring—your majors clearly displayed you were opposites, and he liked to think he was the smartest one.
On top of that, he believed people were a mere reflection of the friends they surrounded themselves with. So, what does it say about you if you are friends with the most superficial twat on campus?
No matter how pretty he thought you were, with those plump lips, big eyes and soft curves… You still were a vapid cunt.
...Or were you?
Michael Gavey wouldn't call himself your friend, but unlike everyone else, you never dismissed his presence. You were always quick to challenge his aggressive comments in the classes you shared, often proving him wrong.
Your friends, of course, found it amusing, but you never laughed. He considered you the smartest among them—not as smart as him, of course, but not sharing the same brain cell as your mates.
Sometimes, during lectures or in the halls, he caught himself watching you. Dressed in expensive clothes, you navigated the halls with an air of confidence.
He found your outfits too revealing, almost inappropriate for lectures, yet he was secretly grateful for the glimpse they offered him of your long legs and cleavage.
You were too pretty and nearly as smart as him. And you knew it, which only made things worse.
You seemed to be every guy's dream.
Every guy, including him.
Damn it.
"Michael? What are you doing here?" you asked, noticing him standing frozen in front of you, staring and holding some books.
"Uh… I'm here to finish some homework," he answered bluntly, attempting to head to a corner table.
"Sit with me. There's no one else in here, you know. You may as well just sit here, and we can keep each other company," you said, stopping him in his tracks. He hesitated, then made his way over and sat beside you, almost uncomfortably.
Opening his books, he tried to focus on the problems in front of him, his palms sweating as he feared you might notice the effect you had on him.
"Why aren't you at the party?" you asked, jotting down some notes on your paper, trying to make conversation and lighten the mood.
"Not fucking invited," he said simply, watching as the realization dawned on your face. You both sat there alone at the library, and continued working on your paper in silence.
"Why aren't you glued to your friends? How does studying alone work for your social life?" he asked after a moment of silence.
"Just wanted some alone time. Needed to catch up on the activities, and I was getting bored with them. Plus, it gives me a break from Felix, so I don't murder him when he's a pain in the ass."
"He's been acting like an arse lately, hasn't he?" Michael commented as he picked up another math textbook, flipping through the pages. He wasn't sure if it was true; to him, Felix may have been an arse since he was born, certainly.
"Not more than usual—shagging some girls, getting drunk, and partying. The usual," you said, shrugging as if it were normal.
"And you don't seem to mind his stupid behavior?"
"Why would I?"
"I… I thought you were a thing. I heard a rumor you two were together…" He said, almost embarrassed to admit he paid attention to gossip and social life.
"What?" you snorted at his admission.
"Yes. I'd suppose anyone with a brain would be jealous if their boyfriend was sleeping around with other girls," he said, tightening his grip on his pencil and trying to sound nonchalant.
"Definitely not. We just enjoyed some benefits in the past," you dismissed his comment casually. "We've known each other since childhood; we're not a couple. Sex is a necessity, wouldn't you agree?"
"Uh… I…" Michael was stunned, to say the least. "I…" He tried to speak, to form a response, but he was too flustered and speechless.
"Oh my God," you turned towards him, looking surprised. "Michael, are you a virgin?" you asked in a low voice.
Michael's eyes widened at your words, a red blush instantly appearing on his face. He looked away, trying to avoid your gaze. He couldn’t even deny it.
How could he when it was so painfully obvious?
"N-No!" he lied, trying to keep his cool but failing miserably.
"Have you ever seen a woman naked, Michael?" you asked, smiling with a glint in your eyes at the discovery.
Michael wished he could die at that moment. The embarrassment he felt was so intense that just when he thought he couldn’t blush more, he grew even redder.
"Yes, of course I have!" he responded defensively, too fast as if trying to convince himself. Who was he kidding? He let out a huff and muttered, "No, I haven’t, okay?"
"Why not?"
"Well, in case you haven't noticed, there’s not exactly a line of women trying to get with me, obviously" he scoffed.
"I think you’re cute," you said, smiling at him. He obviously thought you were lying. "So… uh, what exactly do you do to relieve any urges?"
How else?!?
He let out a loud groan at that question, covering his face. He did not want to be having this conversation, yet here you were, asking him the most embarrassing questions.
He leaned back in his chair, avoiding your gaze, and couldn’t believe he was admitting this to you.
"I… have a few magazines and videos…" he mumbled, his face still red. "And I… use them, obviously."
"So… you take care of yourself then. It's perfectly normal and healthy." You smiled, noticing his red cheeks. "Nothing to be embarrassed about. I do it all the time when I'm stressed."
Of course, you knew how he took care of himself; you were not stupid. You had a feeling he was a virgin and a prude, and you just wanted to hear him admit it.
You had taken some interest in Michael since the beginning of the term. At first, he was just a lonely student who was too eager to prove himself better than anyone in classes, commenting on how useless non-math topics were.
It was when Farleigh told you how much Michael stared at you in classes and made fun of him, claiming that he had a silly crush on you, that you started to notice him more.
The way his sandy blonde hair framed his face, the big blue eyes behind the framed glasses, his thin lips always pouting unconsciously as he disregarded everyone else.
You were now too interested in him, and you started to wonder what it would be like to be with him and teach him. To make him eat all his words… and satisfy your curiosity.
"What’s it like…?" he asked suddenly, his voice slightly above a whisper, looking over at you.
"What?" you smiled at him. Michael’s cheeks turned a shade redder, and he cursed himself inwardly for even asking that question. Yet he was too far gone now, his curiosity having taken over.
"Touching a woman…" he mumbled, clearing his throat awkwardly.
"Maybe you'll just have to find out for yourself," you shrugged.
"Oh, for fuck's sake!" he turned towards you. "You asked me all these weird questions and now you can't answer mine?"
You were slightly taken back by his outburst, noticing the way his cheeks were red out of embarrassment and fury.
"What do you even ask them for? To make fun of me with those suckers?" he snarled.
"No. I asked because if you want to, maybe I can teach you," you said simply, staring into his eyes.
"How?" was all that came out of Michael's mouth as you stood up and quickly gathered your things.
"Come on, follow me." He watched as you walked over to a private study room at the end of the hallway, one of those reserved for group studies. It had a large meeting table and boards.
Understanding, he grabbed his things in a hurry and followed you to the room. He entered, locking the door behind him and glancing at where you were standing, at the center of the room, sitting at the edge of the table.
He walked over to you, trapping you against the table. He stood there for a moment, watching you, not knowing what to do next. So, you moved closer to him, taking him by surprise when your lips pressed against his in a slow kiss.
He closed his eyes, breathing in your scent, his lips kissing yours desperately. He felt it when you took his hand and carefully led it to your breast.
With your hand upon his, you gave it a squeeze and parted the kiss, watching his bewildered expression, the tint of red in his cheeks growing darker.
"Maybe you can finally explore the body of a woman," you whispered. He was too stunned for a moment, as if he was daydreaming, but then you looked into his eyes and nodded.
His gaze grew darker, and he carelessly pushed down your shirt, watching your breasts peek out.
His breath hitched, and you could see how his pupils dilated at the sight of them. His hands slid through your tits as he stared down at them with amusement.
Between his thumb and index, he reached for your nipple and noticed the way you let out a sigh out of pleasure, your nipples growing hard at his touch.
He bent down and started kissing and sucking your neck, leaving small bites here and there, where he thought people would be able to see them.
His tongue started lowering and lowering until he reached where his hands were formerly placed, and his lips started sucking on your nipple, with a free hand he cupped your other breast, moving his fingers in irregular circles.
He focused his gaze on you, and noticed the way a moan escaped your lips.
You were desperate for his touch; he could see it.
He could feel his heart throttling, as his mouth explored every inch of your breasts, the movement of his lips and tongue was a mix between inexperience and pure desire. Your fingers moved to his hair, encouraging him to continue.
"Michael…" - his name escaped your lips in a low voice. - "that feels good, do you want to keep going? "
He nodded desperately, eager to continue exploring the fullness of your body. His eyes met yours, and for a moment, time seemed to stand still.
Without a word, he leaned in, his lips capturing yours in a kiss that was urgent, his trembling hands sliding through the side of your legs until he gripped your ass.
When his fingers brushed the hem of your skirt, you felt a surge of anticipation.
Slowly, almost reverently, he began sliding your skirt upwards, exposing more of your thighs.
He leaned back to admire the view, your breasts on full display, your red cheeks, and the way the fabric of the skirt gathered up your hips.
His hands started exploring the flesh of your inner thighs, tracing circles in his path as his fingers ventured closer to your core, a soft moan escaping your lips as you tilted your head back.
Michael's eyes darkened with desire at the sound, and his hands stilled for a moment, savoring your reaction.
He knelt in front of you, and he watched with amusement the way his fingers traced a path at the edge of your panties, the fabric acting as a barrier between his touch and your core.
He ran a finger through the fabric and felt how wet it was, before he moved it aside and a moan escaped his lips at the sight of your pussy. His gaze met your eyes, almost shily with a question written on them of whether he could go further.
When you nodded, his fingers started touching you, moving his finger up and down slowly, trying to find the place that would give you more pleasure, when his finger met your clit, he noticed the way your body shivered and he focused his attention there.
He started moving his fingers slowly against your bud, and the quiet moans he heard and the way your breath hitched, made him think he was doing a good job, so he started to move his fingers faster, in a painful way.
A whimper left your mouth, and your hand grabbed his, stopping him.
"No. Not fast or it hurts. " - you said between breaths, when he nodded in understanding, you guided his fingers once again against your clit.
Guiding him through the right pace which makes your skin grow hotter.
His fingers started moving with more confidence, finding rhythms and patterns that made you moan.
His name erupted from your chest in a cry of pleasure, and suddenly his touch was not enough, with a hand placed against the table you leaned forward and watched the way his gaze was focused on your core.
His fingers were not enough, you needed more.
You needed him pressed against you, so with your other hand you grabbed his hair and pulled him closer to your pussy, a groan reverberated in your skin, and his lips started sucking on it.
His erection was hard since he entered the room, and as he watched you moaning and pulled him closer it grew painfully hard, the boxers restraining him and making his cock start to twitch.
He thought it would be more painful the embarrassment he would feel if he came on his boxers at the simple sight of her moaning while he ate her up, so he tried to focus solely on her.
He failed...
You started breathing heavily at the way his fingers slither inside you and his tongue moved against your pearl.
Fueled with pleasure your back arched, and your fingers tightened their grip on his hair, pulling him closer. His touch was electric, and your eyes opened, locking your gaze with him... hen he lost it.
His cock started throbbing against his boxers, seizing as he came undone at the sight of you.
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sapphic-agent · 8 months ago
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Let's Talk About How Book 3 Ruined Aang
If you've seen any of my prior ATLA posts, you know that I don't hate Aang. In fact, I quite liked him in Books 1 and 2. He was flawed, as all characters should be, but the show didn't shy away from those flaws or justify them. He was called out for burning Katara and rushing his firebending, Sokka and Katara were rightfully upset when he hid Hakoda's letter, he willingly owns up to the fact that his actions helped drive Toph away, and his entire arc after losing Appa and finding hope again in The Serpent's Path was beautifully done.
(Hell, even in The Great Divide Katara says what Aang did was wrong and he agrees. It's played for comedy, but the show still makes the effort to point out that what he did wasn't the right thing to do. You're just meant to understand that he was fed up and acted off of that)
Those flaws and mistakes were addressed and improved upon and helped Aang to grow as a character.
But for some reason, that aspect of Aang's character was completely flipped in Book 3.
The best examples of this are in both TDBS and EIP. Both the show and the fandom are too quick to brush off that Aang kissed Katara twice without her consent, one of which after she explicitly said she was confused about her feelings.
(And yes, she is angry in response and Aang calls himself an idiot. But after this, it isn't really addressed. They go on like nothing happened for the rest of the episode. Aang's lamentation comes from screwing things up with her romantically, not that he violated boundaries)
The show never really addressed why what he did was wrong. Not only because he wasn't given consent, but also because both times he isn't thinking about what Katara wants. In both instances, Aang is only thinking about himself and his feelings. This is something that persists through a lot of the third book. And by Sozin's Comet it ultimately ruins any character development he had built up in the second book.
One thing I feel was completely disregarded was the concept of having to let go of Katara in order to master the Avatar State.
For me, the implication wasn't that he had to give up love or happiness necessarily. He was emotionally attached to and reliant on Katara, to the point where she was needed to stop him from hurting everyone around him and himself. This is obviously detrimental to his functionality as the Avatar. And the point of him "letting her go" wasn't that he had to stop caring about her, it was that his emotional dependency on her was stopping him from being the Avatar he needed to be and that was what needed to be fixed. I don't even think it's about the Avatar State itself, it's about being able to keep your emotions and duty as the Avatar separate.
(If you look at Roku, he loved and had a wife. It wasn't his love for her that messed everything up, it was his attachment to Sozin. He wasn't able to let Sozin go and not only did he lose his life for it, the world suffered for it. It's the unhealthy attachments that seem to be detrimental, not love itself)
And Aang realizes that in the catacombs, which is how he's able to easily enter the Avatar State and seemingly control it. He let Katara go.
So then why does it seem like his attachment to Katara is not only stronger, but worse in mannerism? He liked Katara in Books 1 and 2- obviously- but he was never overly jealous of Jet or Haru. He only makes one harmless comment in Book 2 when Sokka suggests Katara kiss Jet.
But suddenly he's insanely jealous of Zuko (to the point of getting frustrated with Katara over it), off the basis of the actions of actors in a clearly misrepresentative play. Katara showed a lot more interest in Jet and Aang was completely fine with it.
(Speaking of EIP, Aang's reaction to being played by a woman was interesting. He wore a flower crown in The Cave of Two Lovers. He wove Katara a flower necklace. He wore Kyoshi's clothes and makeup and made a funny girl voice. He willingly responded to Twinkle Toes and had no issue being called that. And for some reason he's genuinely upset about being played by a woman? Aang in Books 1 and 2 would have laughed and enjoyed the show like Toph did. His aversion to feminity felt vastly out of character)
I guess my point is, why did that change? Why was Aang letting go of Katara suddenly irrelevant to the Avatar State? It felt like him letting go was supposed to be a major part of his development. Why did that stop?
Myself and many others have talked about The Southern Raiders. The jist of my thought process about it is his assumption that he knew what was best for Katara. And the episode doesn't really call out why he was wrong. Maybe sparing Yon Rha was better for Katara, maybe it wasn't (the only one who's allowed to make that choice is her). Pushing forgiveness? That was wrong. But the episode has Zuko say that Aang was right when the course of action Katara took wasn't what Aang suggested.
Katara's lesson here was that killing him wouldn't bring back her mother or mend the pain she was going through and that Yon Rha wasn't worth the effort. That's what she realizes. Not that she needed to embrace forgiveness. How could she ever forgive that? The episode saying Aang was right wasn't true. Yes she forgives Zuko, but that wasn't what Aang was talking about. He was specifically talking about Yon Rha.
And that was wrong. Aang can choose the path of forgiveness, that's fine. That's his choice. But dismissing Katara's trauma in favor of his morals and upbringing wasn't okay.
I know it sounds like this is just bashing Kataang. But it's not simply because I don't like Kataang, in my opinion it brings down Aang's character too, not just Katara's. But let's steer away from Kataang and Katara for a minute.
The one thing that solidifies Aang's character being ruined in Book 3 for me is the fact that he- at the end of the story- does the same thing he did in the beginning.
He runs away when things get hard.
Aang couldn't make the choice between his duty and his morals. So he ran. Maybe it wasn't intentional, but subconsciously he wanted an out. And this is really disappointing when one of the things he was firm about in Book 2 was not running anymore. His character went backwards here and that's not even getting into the real issue in Sozin's Comet.
There's been contention about the Lion Turtle intervention. For many- including myself- it's very deus ex machina to save Aang from having to make a hard decision. And that in turn doesn't reflect kindly on his character.
Everyone- Sokka, Zuko, Roku, Kyoshi, Kuruk, and Yangchen (who was another Airbender and was raised with the same beliefs he was and would understand which was the whole point of him talking to her)- told him he had to kill Ozai. They all told him it was the only way. And he refused to listen to any of them, rotating through his past lives until he was given the answer he wanted.
And before anyone says that I'm bashing Aang for following his culture, I'm not. Ending the war peacefully, in my opinion, wasn't the problem. In a way, I think it allowed the world to heal properly. However, that doesn't make up for the fact that Aang refused to make a choice and face the consequences of that choice. Instead, he's given an out at the very last second.
Even if he couldn't kill Ozai and someone else had to deliver the final blow, that would have been better than the Lion Turtle showing up and giving him a power no one's ever had before. It would have been a good compromise, he doesn't have to have blood directly on his hands but what needs to be done needs to still get done. It would also show that being the Avatar isn't a burden he has to bear alone. That when things get hard, he can't run away but he can rely on the people closest to him to help him through hard decisions.
All these issues aren't necessarily a problem with Aang. Aang prior to Book 3 didn't have most of these problems. This is a problem with the way he was handled
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fen-luciel · 4 months ago
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The mistakes of a Acolyte
4
Chapters
Summary: You are pregnant with Qimir's child and the universe is not big enough to hide you from him.
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There was an embarrassed silence for a few minutes before Sol decided to clear his throat.
"I understand the fear, but this time we'll be more prepared, we won't let him even touch you" I looked at him unsure, I didn't know what was worse, if I brought them there and he was there... even hiding my belly, being seen with the Jedi would be a death sentence, or he could speak out of turn and get me arrested while he escaped, the possibilities were endless and each worse than the other.
"Excuse me, I need... to wash my face" my hands trembled as I tried to get up, Yord beside me stood up worried before offering me a hand which I quickly took, with a nod he pointed me to the bathroom and I hurried there.
The door opened automatically and I rushed inside, closing the door behind me, the sterile light illuminating the small room burned my eyes.
When I rubbed them, I realized the problem, unshed tears filled my lashes, the burning sensation I was starting to feel was the familiar one of crying.
I turned off the light and turned on the smaller, dimmer one above the mirror, in the dark I took a few deep breaths, hands resting on the rectangular sink before placing one on my belly and gently rubbing it.
The dark atmosphere calmed my nerves and fortunately, I managed to hold back the tears, turning on the water I washed my face with my still trembling hands, my shadowed reflection in the mirror was terrible, like the night before, it was written on all my features how bad I felt, the almost sickly purple bags under my eyes, the reddened irises, a disaster that seemed only to worsen.
As I took more breaths, I realized there was talking in the background happening a few meters from me, I could hear them discussing even with the door closed, especially Yord who seemed to have a particularly loud tone.
I pressed my ear to the door to better understand what they were talking about.
"I'm just saying we could try another way" the rhythmic sound I heard was probably his nervous footsteps, I could imagine him pacing back and forth nervously. "I don't like doing this either, but it's our best way," Jecki replied calmly. "We can get an approximate direction and go—" "With the risk of being discovered?" Sol interrupted her.
"And if he's really there? Maybe waiting for us. He'll assume we've rummaged through his things and found his partner" Jecki speculated. "Ex-partner" Yord immediately intervened afterward.
There was a few seconds of silence, I could imagine them looking at each other grimly. "He could be waiting for us with traps, or see us coming and escape while we search for the way, in the best-case scenario he'll be there to retrieve the last things before disappearing, we must seize the opportunity while it's available. He was injured the last time we clashed but I doubt it will slow him down, we must keep up" more muffled sounds followed, and some words I didn't quite catch as they continued to speak in a more controlled tone.
"We should at least give her time to process and understand if she wants to—" Yord's tone was irritated, you could hear it a mile away, but again Jecki intervened. "We must act now. We can help calm her nerves, but we need her and now."
I pressed my forehead against the metal door, weakly rubbing my eyes, I took a deep breath.
I had to think clearly, now more than ever I was caught between two fires ready to explode in my face, what was happening to me? What was I doing? How many times had I already said the wrong thing without even realizing it?
Was this farce I was carrying on the problem?
Had I become too weak?
Had these months of calm made me more docile or was it just me wanting to be? After all, it had already happened many years before.
Sure.
It had already happened.
When everything around you is a lie, you adapt to it, believe you are part of it, accept it, and carry on that fairytale.
I was doing it again, I had adapted to that desire that had started growing in my chest.
To be a normal person, a mother, a civilian like everyone else.
But I had never been that.
I had never been a victim.
Even what Qimir did to me. I let him do it, because deep down, it was what I wanted.
To feel loved regardless of the consequences, of how it would present itself and how I would live it.
I knew what I had to do.
I left the bathroom after washing my face again.
Immediately everyone turned to me, so I gave an encouraging smile. "Sorry, I needed a moment to think. I'll do it... I just ask that you keep me informed of the plan, if something goes wrong I want to understand it. Especially to escape the danger if it arises" I announced with a deep breath.
The reactions I received were different, it was obvious that Yord was not happy about it, Jecki nodded impassively, but Sol was clearly happy with my choice.
"Certainly, we'll organize the plan this afternoon and let you know when we've decided" Sol replied. I nodded before taking a few steps forward. "If it's not a problem, I'd like to go home, especially if we have to leave early, maybe put some clothes in a bag, or retrieve my old blaster." The three nodded. "If all goes well, you'll be away from home for a maximum of one day, but it's right to prevent, thank you again" Sol replied with a slight bow that I returned.
"Wait, I'll accompany you" Yord offered me an arm which I took with a smile. "Thank you"
We left the ship at a slower pace, the city was fully awake by now, the streets were full of busy civilians, but they seemed to easily step aside as we passed, whether to help a pregnant woman or for fear of the Jedi I couldn't tell.
"You're not obligated if you don't want to" Yord suddenly said, I looked at him with a small smile on my lips, he was deliberately avoiding my gaze, walking with a rigid posture, eyes fixed ahead of him.
"It's okay Yord. I want to end this story. Maybe for real this time" the only response I received was a snort from his nose, it was a rather amusing reaction despite everything, although I didn't understand the reason, sure Sol and Jecki were also worried, but he seemed on another planet.
"How sweet, you're worried" I intoned teasingly as I slightly squeezed his arm, the muscle contracting under my fingers.
"Of course I am. We are putting a pregnant woman in danger, I know you're not inexperienced, but we're Jedi, we should protect you, not ask you to be on the front line" I exhaled a snort of amusement. "Well, I have my Jedi knight to protect me, don't I?" I gave him a playful smile, but I could clearly see a slight dark blush on his cheeks.
When we reached my building he accompanied me to the door of my apartment where I let go of his arm.
"See you then?" he nodded before crossing his hands behind his back in a rigid posture. "We'll contact you as soon as we're organized, I'd tell you to bring something you need so maybe prepare a bag, but I don't think we'll contact you before evening. So rest" rummaging in his pockets he handed me a small comlink which I put in my pocket.
"See you later"
I closed the door behind me, the comlink left on the kitchen table as I quickly headed to the bedroom.
I had to do things right if I wanted to get out clean, to kriff with the Jedi, Qimir, and this shitty life I had tried to get into, peace had never existed, all the notions that had been taught to me were dictated by hypocrisy, but I had come out of it and I would come out of it this time too.
Rummaging through the closet, I took a loose shirt to put on, took off my shoes for comfort, and quickly tied my hair in a messy bun on my head.
Sure, if he didn't answer... but at that point, I didn't care, I would make another plan and another until I freed myself from the problem.
I sat cross-legged in the middle of the bed, the shutters were still down leaving the room dimly lit, I took deep breaths before closing my eyes, hands resting on my legs.
Over the years Qimir and I had developed a direct bond in the force, which had helped us on many occasions, the more time passed the easier it was for us to use it and outside it was almost impossible to perceive us. In recent months Qimir had repeatedly tried to call me through the force, I had closed the bond as soon as I escaped into hyperspace, the first days were a nightmare, he tried to contact me in every way, dozens of times a day, forcefully. It was obvious he was furious, he immediately realized something was wrong, he was more the type to disappear without saying anything, I wasn't. I would have warned him, I would have told him what I had to do, when I would return, anything, I was paranoid by nature and Qimir was a companion, so it seemed logical to tell him everything.
Even when I had to keep a low profile, I found a way to warn him of the problem, that day 5 months earlier, however, was particularly calm, we weren't doing anything special, so when I took my things and left it took him less than 12 hours to realize something was wrong.
The first calls were calm but insistent, when he realized I didn't intend to answer him, he got furious.
It was absurd how, despite being equals, his presence made me uncomfortable. It was a change I hadn't perceived. It took me five months to realize that what was happening was wrong.
And now I had to reactivate the bond.
And talk to him.
The last time he thought it was a dream, and he still managed to hurt me. I couldn't let him terrify me.
I tried several times, taking deep breaths, trying to reach him through the Force, but between the back pain and the nerves, I could barely concentrate.
I needed to relax, to find his familiar signature.
I lay on my side and closed my eyes again. I had to find Qimir, I had to remember his presence. The night before, we had connected in a dream, more out of visceral instinct, probably. I had emptied my mind of him, had forced myself to forget him, but the arrival of the Jedi had awakened everything, and it would have been hypocritical to deny the truth.
I was worried about him.
Where he was, if he was hurt, if he felt lonely... because of me.
My heart tightened in my chest. A tear rolled down my cheek, but I wiped it away with my sleeve. I hugged one of the pillows to my chest, seeking comfort, rubbing my face against the soft fabric.
The truth was that I missed Qimir terribly.
No matter how much I lied to myself, there was a void in my heart that only he had filled. He would have been so happy to know about this child, would have been by my side, worried about my well-being, massaging my back, and cooking my favorite dishes every day.
I loved him.
And he loved me.
But... the dark side of him wasn't just due to what he had gone through. There was something more visceral, possessive, violent... something that he took out on me.
I thought we were on the same page, that we were equals. But he didn't see it the same way.
I tried again, my arms tightening around the pillow. I tried to imagine him there with me, his delicate yet strong scent, reminiscent of a rain-soaked forest, the warmth of his body, the defined muscles, the numerous scars felt under my fingertips, his soft lips on my forehead... and it was then that I felt him.
It was like seeing a house with an open door from afar. He hadn't noticed that I was searching for him, trying to reach him, but he had left the door open, waiting for me.
And that's how I reached him. The darkness behind my closed eyes was soon illuminated by a cold blue light. I rubbed my eyes from the discomfort before realizing I had made it. My physical form had projected through the Force near Qimir.
I immediately recognized the place, the one I had hinted at to the Jedi. I immediately knew I was right. He had returned here, perhaps for the map, perhaps just to hide.
Looking quickly around, I noticed nothing different from usual. In fact, nothing seemed to have changed at all. It was an old stone room we had turned into our bedroom, although at first glance, it looked more like a storage room. Scrolls, books, devices of all kinds were placed in every corner, on the floor, under or on top of furniture. The windows, usually covered with rudimentary curtains we had hung, were now open, showing the night sky outside.
Walking towards the back of the room, I noticed a backpack carelessly placed on the floor, his clothes haphazardly thrown nearby, and then I spotted some bloodstains but ignored them. I knew who he had fought with, and I remembered Sol and Yord talking about an injury.
And finally, there he was, lying on an old double mattress against the wall at the back, pillows and blankets messily strewn on top, surrounding his sleeping body. A small bandage wrapped around his arm, but apart from that, he seemed fine. He had his back to me, sleeping deeply, his hair tousled on the pillow. I wanted to approach him while he was still asleep, to watch him while he was still peaceful, but I couldn't risk it.
So I did what I had come for.
I approached the small table next to the bed where he kept a flask of some foul-smelling drink and began to hit the metal surface with an open hand, once, twice, three times until Qimir woke up, pulled the lightsaber to him, and ignited it in my direction, terribly confused even as he tried to stand.
"I leave you alone for a few months, and this is the result?" I started, approaching the bed with a flat tone.
I had to be confident. I had dressed specifically to hide the curves of my pregnancy. If I showed any hesitation, he would realize I was hiding much more than I was letting on.
The surprise on his face was almost endearing, his eyes wide and still a bit clouded by alcohol. It took him a few seconds of silence to fully register what was happening.
"Sabrina..." he began to get up from the bed, but I stopped him with a gesture of my hand.
"Let's skip the pleasantries. You're in deep shit" He slowly sat back down on the mattress before deactivating the lightsaber, suspicion clear in his gaze.
"What are you doing here? You disappear for months and then come back to do what exactly?" There was acidity in his tone. This wasn't the dream he thought he was having. He didn't know I was really pregnant, and he didn't see me crying or sad. This probably wasn't the kind of reunion he hoped for. It was just me, waking him rudely and treating him with indifference.
"I've come to warn you. The Jedi know where you're hiding and will be here soon" The surprise and then the confusion were clear in his features. He opened his mouth to speak, but I didn't let him start. "The idiot you were dragging along talked, but I guess you suspected that already. They found... our photo" I added the last part with a frustrated sigh.
"Wait, they found you? Were you captured?" He jumped up, reaching out a hand toward me, but I stepped back a few paces.
"No. I convinced them I was an unaware colleague of yours. But they knew too much, and I had to say some things"
The more details I added, the more confused he seemed. He tilted his head in that cute way I often teased him about, and I held back a smile. It wasn't the right time.
"I'll have to bring them here. We'll probably arrive in less than two days, maybe even sooner. So pack the most important things and hide them on the ship, especially all the Sith artifacts. I don't want those dogs touching or, worse, destroying everything we've recovered..." Without realizing it, I started pacing back and forth in front of him, lost in my thoughts. It was true that many of the things were scattered across the various hideouts we had, but what we wanted to study and analyze, we kept within reach.
Needless to say, between things to do, other... hobbies, and the undeniable laziness of both of us, a lot of things had accumulated here too.
I was snapped out of my thoughts when Qimir suddenly grabbed my wrist. I turned quickly, my heart pounding in my chest, mentally cursing myself for letting my guard down so easily. I shouldn't have let him get too close. Yet in his gaze, I read none of the emotions that made my knees tremble. He looked at me with an unreadable expression.
"Are you okay? How did you reach me without getting caught?" I exhaled deeply before yanking my wrist away from his warm hand. I was sure he noticed my accelerated heartbeat, but it wasn't unusual given the situation we were in.
"Yes. I'm... in a hotel I rented. They left me alone to decide a plan. I hoped to contact you after knowing it, but I doubt I'll have time. We need to think carefully about what to do next." I cleared my throat before sighing. "If you just want to leave before they arrive, I understand. But make sure not to leave any traces. I told that Jedi about our map. If they don't find it, you'll have time to hide and heal," I continued, nodding towards his arm. He shrugged in response, making an irritated grimace. "I'm fine. It's nothing."
"And you? They know about us now. Do you really think they'll let you go?" he continued. I gave him a half-arrogant smile. "I was very convincing in my story. They think I'm just a former colleague and lover. They actually want to protect me from you" I said mockingly, but instead of smiling as I hoped, he lost every ounce of lightness he had. The rigid posture of his back and the darkening gaze made my toes numb from how tightly I was keeping them to avoid stepping back.
"A hotel? Is that what you've been doing for five months? Wandering the galaxy doing what? You left without telling me anything, cutting me off from the bond, and now you reappear, warning me about the Jedi" he began to slowly step towards me with a gloomy look. The anxiety gnawed at my stomach, but I had to keep the façade.
Attack was the best defense, after all.
"And you? I leave for a while, and you find an acolyte, get caught by the Order, and then what?" He stopped mid-step, fists clenched at his sides. I could see how tightly he was keeping his arms contracted. It was obvious he was furious, but my words had hit him at least a little.
"I was looking for you. But I didn't want to let the Jedi go. At one point, I even thought they had taken you, that you had run away to keep me safe... but it seems I was wrong" the last sentence was almost growled, as I raised my arm towards him and instinctively grabbed his wrist, pulling him towards me. With my other hand, I grasped the t-shirt he used for sleeping, forcing him to bend down to my eye level.
The unexpected movement left him silent as he looked back at me, confused.
"I feel like I've always been honest with you all these years. I've always told you everything. I've included you in my personal and non-personal life. For once when I needed my own space, you're angry? And how should I feel?" Both of us were short of breath, our gazes hard, too many things left unsaid, or at least, I was hiding everything from him and continued to lie to his face, since we were friends, an unspoken rule was that I was always honest with him, not because he asked me or some code imposed it on me, but because if there was something my past experiences had taught me, keeping secrets only led to disasters.
But this was different. I had to lie.
I pushed him away from me and he didn't resist. "I'm trying to help you in case you hadn't noticed."
Qimir snorted before crossing his arms over his chest. The muscles in his arms bulged with the movement. Had he become even bigger while I was away? I mentally pinched myself at the thought. It was really the wrong time to fantasize about those arms.
"I have no intention of leaving you alone with the Jedi. Maybe you've tricked them for now, but it's obvious they won't let this go so easily. If they decide to report this to the higher-ups, sooner or later someone will recognize you. And you don't know when or how. I'm staying. And I'm taking you with me," I swore I heard his voice grow huskier towards the end, but I ignored the shiver down my spine and cleared my throat.
"I know. But we have to keep up this facade until the end. At least as an emergency plan"
The silence that followed was tense, almost suffocating. I rubbed my eyes tiredly, and swore I saw him lean towards me for a second before dropping his hands to his hips again, probably bitter and disheartened by how this conversation was going.
"I could pretend to kidnap you" he hypothesized. "You said you're playing the victim, right? Tell me what you told them and maybe I could-"
"No. We want them to leave us alone, not to pursue us more aggressively" it was obvious things would only get worse if we pretended a kidnapping. They were bringing me there, pregnant, by that time they would have felt responsible and there would have been chances that they would call the council. "We have to make sure you slip from under their noses. They mustn't realize you knew about their arrival. But... you could hurt me" an idea finally flashed through my mind. "Of course, they don't know about my Force abilities, you have to attack me-" I began to pace the room as a plan formed in my mind. "No, wait, I don't want to hurt you—" "—as if you could" I interrupted with a mocking tone.
Maybe it was the fact that we weren't really in the same room, maybe it was the months apart, but I felt much less uncomfortable now in his presence, and having the upper hand gave me more confidence. Sure, Qimir wasn't stupid, but I had the advantage. And I needed to get rid of him like the Jedi.
"I told them we were engaged and that I ran away when I realized you were dangerous—" he rolled his eyes before making an irritated grimace "—we can pretend I betrayed you, you attack us in anger, I slip inside and reach the ship we have down here. While you fight the Jedi, I'll activate the doors to buy you time. They'll think a droid helped you, and we can leave on two separate ships" I turned towards him with a satisfied expression.
"Sweetheart. I thought we agreed not to play the kidnapping card" he whispered with an ironic smile on his lips as he took a few steps closer. I ignored the affectionate name he called me, not letting him get into my head and distract me with less important things.
"And indeed, we'll take two separate paths. They'll be too worried about chasing you, and in the meantime, I'll cut off all communication. We'll both have time to disappear"
He looked at me irritably before walking away, throwing the lightsaber casually on the bed as he started taking off his shirt. "This plan sucks" he hissed through his teeth as he continued to undress, calling his usual tunic abandoned in a corner with the Force and starting to get dressed.
"Do you have a better idea? I don't think so. And anyway, for all we know, they could come in four or twenty" I snapped irritably, raising my voice. "Do you realize how many things could go to kriff?" he ran his hands through his hair, frustrated, and I sighed in response, irritated. "I know! We'll improvise, as we always do, but it's better than nothing... Where's Sam?" I asked suddenly, looking around.
"I deactivated him, he kept bugging me because you weren't here and was blaming me" I rubbed my eyes once again before turning towards him and pointing my finger at him. "Reactivate my droid, get help, and keep your eyes open. If everything goes well, we'll drop off their radar for a while, and maybe we can shake them off since you decided to get caught" I snapped irritably.
"Sorry, but can't we just ambush them?" he replied, frustrated.
I swallowed bitterly before answering more calmly, "I can't. Not now. We need to get rid of them calmly" I saw him make another grimace, ready to protest, but I interrupted him again.
"Shut up. You created this problem. That's why I'm the master between the two of us. Don't forget that. You have orders. Execute them." My tone was hard. Disappointed. I sounded convincing. Maybe I was venting a different kind of irritation at the moment, but he couldn't imagine that. Fortunately, I struggled to read him just as he struggled with me.
Ours was more of a dance, armed with sharp claws and lightsabers, ready to attack each other for sport or wound each other out of personal pride. I could suffer as much as I wanted for his actions, be afraid of him, but I had no doubt that deep down, Qimir had the same fear of me.
It was a race to see who would break first.
That's why I couldn't allow him to see my weakness.
"Don't get yourself killed."
And with that, I looked at him one last time before severing the bond. Darkness returned, and when I opened my eyes again, I was still in my bedroom, hugging the pillow, as that forest scent faded from my senses.
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appleblueberry-pie · 8 months ago
Note
OOOHHHH, OKAY HERE MY REQUEST FOR YANDERE MILE MORALES SCENARIO! I imagine him being the type of guy to break into the reader's locker and leave a CD(the song is probably cheesy like Radiohead-creep) while leaving a sticky note like ��I really, really, like you. And I wanna get to know you more, can you meet at [insert abandoned building here] ❣️”~secret admirer (*cough* it's Miles *cough*) This freaks the reader out, cuz they've been dealing with this bs for 3 months and the authorities can't do shit, can I request the reader confronting their “secret admirer”? 🥺
N/A: I hope you heard me evilly laugh when I first read this. Boutta spill all of my delusions on this. Also i've never written worse luck than the reader had in this one.
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Be Mine? Yes or No.
It's about ten minutes before first period begins and you've already spent five of them rereading the 20th love letter you've received over the course of a few months. You felt the hairs on the back of your neck rise as you continue to find more and more things to worry about in this letter. You'd think that this person would stop pestering you, but they really weren't. At all whatsoever. The same little sweet names they'd compliment you with. The same main idea they had in the previous note continuing into the next one. This has been happening over and over.
And it was so, so sweet when this fiasco first started. When you first opened your locker and it was placed so nicely in the center as if someone carefully placed it there. It was definitely spritzed with some kind of cologne, because no scent from someone just rubs off onto a letter like that. The beautiful envelope it was put in, the paper on the inside. The neat handwriting that was clearly practiced just to put some love onto the paper for you to hopefully absorb. And it worked the first three times, but it just kept getting weirder from there.
The way they wrote to you was extremely genuine, something that was hard to find in relationships nowadays. It really made you want to meet this person. They mixed in casual sweet names in Spanish into the writing in a way that wasn't hard for you to understand at all. They definitely had a crush on you. But then they began mentioning you in ways that seemed to make you borderline uncomfortable. Mentioning your beautiful hair, your eyes, your lips, the way you spoke, how you smelled. How they'd watch you and your friends in the park. Slipping in a few mentions of you walking to and from a corner store nobody in your school but you knew about.
They would write about how they could help you with specific classes that they knew you were struggling with. What foods they theorized you don't like(they were right), your type of man and how they fit that exact description, if not, more. How he knows he's the one you'd want and need. How the two of you are meant to be, he'd love you the way you need to be loved and he cant wait to actually meet you. How he'd bring you to the address of your favorite breakfast spot that no one should know about and he'd buy you that plate you always wanted to get that you couldn't afford. How he'd spoil you and-
All of this tension he built up on his own, which was all fueled by his own delusions, drew you to the conclusion that this nigga needed to be put in his place. You wanted a boyfriend. Not a fucking perverted stalker. Whoever this was, he was taking it too far, and was ultimately scaring you. It took you fifteen of these letters for you to realize that he wasn't actually slipping the letter into the locker between the cracks, but he was putting in the real code of your lock to properly unlock it. How he found it out, you have no idea. You didn't know what this guy was capable of and didn't know if he'd hurt you if you said no. But it had to be done somehow or he'd take shit too far and kidnap you or some crazy shit like that.
None of the school officials would help you because they're pieces of shit. Your friends tell you to bag him like dumbasses, and what the fuck are your parents gonna do? Yell at the dean and stand by your locker all day to wait for the guy?? You were all alone in this. So the most reasonable thing you came up with is to bluntly write to him to meet you after school at the park you and your friends go to often since he knows the spot already.
And quite literally the day after, you sat at the bench at the park after school, and he showed up.
You remember being so damn scared. What if he was big and burly and angry? What if he was one of the popular boys and would record the entire interaction? What if he follows you back home? What does he plan to do once you try to tell him off? You shouldn't have done this. The setting sun wasn't comforting you. The abandoned playground that usually was bustling with squealing kids was just making you more nervous. It was silent and cold today, but your mind just wouldn't shut up. Suddenly, the school uniform you wore wasn't as comfortable and you clutched your backpack closer to your body.
The wind blew gently on your bare knees and you heard someone call out your name. You flinched and felt your heart drop and turned to see the source of the voice, hoping for the worst. There was a boy sitting on a bench right next to yours. He was staring at you. It made you feel....unsettled and something else you couldn't put your finger on. To calm yourself, you listed his characteristics in his head. He was....reasonably attractive. Light brown eyes. Sculpted face. A light Spanish accent to his voice exactly how you'd imagine. Neat braids on his head. But something about his aura messed with you. He wasn't as good as he portrayed himself to be. You didn't want to speak and watched him stand from his spot to sit next to you on your bench. You clutched your bag to your chest as you watched him try to calmly approach you without making you too nervous.
With nervous eyes on him, he sits down next to you, letting a small smile grace his lips. "Hey, ma...how you doin'?" He sounded like he was trying to lure a scared dog into his arms. But it was awkward because he was trying to act normal with his dream girl and it was an actual human being and not a dog. "....fine." You respond. He scratches his nape and averted his eyes for a quick second. He really wanted to know why you wanted to talk to him. You gave no context within your letter, and it was a blessing, nonetheless. You actually responded to him. He predicted that he wouldn't get one for another good three weeks to two months almost. But this must be serious. He prepared himself for all possible scenarios that this could end up being.
"So....why'd you want to meet all of a sudden? It's getting late and I don't want you going home in the dark, you know?" You nod and take a deep breath, scared as fuck for how this could end. "Yeah.....so....I just wanted to tell you that I just- I don't want to be with you." It felt like you had to pull the words out of your throat for him to hear. You saw his face drop and decided to explain before he did anything else. "Like....I don't know you. I just realized that. You know so much about me and about my friends and the places I go to. I don't know a damn thing- Are you stalking me??" You turn to face him and stare into his wide eyes. He almost seemed as if he was caught doing some weird shit. And it was weird.
The silence started to make you angry when you realized he probably has been following you all this time. He shakes his head and sits up. "No...no, I haven't been stalking you at all, ma, I promise. I never want to make you uncomfortable, ever. Where are you getting that?" Oh, so now he's gaslighting you. If you brought all of his envelopes to this meeting, you would've dumped all of the evidence on his lap. You roll your eyes, grab your bag, and stand to leave. He stands at the same time as you when he sees you're trying to leave and stands in your way. "Wait, wait, wait, that's it? You not gon' give me a chance?" "A chance? Nigga, you lost your chance when you started being weird and fucking acting like you wasn't being weird this entire time!"
It was hard to get mad at you or reason with you. You were too pretty to get mad at even when you were nearly yelling in his face. And he had no logical reason to behave the way he was behaving, either. So, he might lose you unless he does something risky. And to risk your trust and love is something he doesn't want on the line.
You watch him watch you leave and he picks up his bag as well. The street lights turn on once it gets dark enough and Miles interrupts you walking away. "I'm not letting you walk home in the dark, Y/n." You flinch at his voice and growl a groan in fuming anger. An older lady passes the both of you and praises the mystery boy for being such a good gentleman and how 'there needs to be more of you out on these streets'. You almost slapped the fuck out of her for even hyping him up. He gives her a beautiful smile and tells her to get home safe, while walking you in the direction of your home.
He turns back to you and almost laughs at the face you're making. "I wonder how your mom would feel about you going home in the dark." "Mind yo fucking business." He happily leaves it there, continuing to walk with you down the street. Maybe this way, he can have more than one excuse to continue walking you home from now on. "Ion even know yo name." You mutter under your breath and Miles smiles at you. "My name is Miles. Great to finally meet you in person, Mami." You scoff and gladly let him scroll on his phone. You tried to speed ahead of him in hopes he'd stay at his slower pace, but he always caught up to you. You inwardly groan, knowing he'd probably make it to your door before you get rid of him.
"Glad to know the name of the person who's been stalking me. Now I can report you officially." You smirk at him and he gives one right back. "Just a name won't cut it, ma." "I got photos." "Where?" He hands you your phone back and you snatch it, realizing he was scrolling on your phone the whole time AND deleted your photo evidence. Before you can shove him into the street for a car to run him over, your mom bursts the door open and eyes the boy next to you. "Girl, you finally brought someone home with you." You didn't even realize you were on your street, better yet, your house. And your mom liked him already??
Your face dropped as you approached the front door. "No, no, no, it's not like that-" "What's your name, sweetie?" Miles steps up to the door and holds out his hand for her to shake, a beaming smile on his face. "My name is Miles Morales, ma'am." She shakes his hand before scrunching her eyebrows. " 'Morales'? You know Rio??" "That's my mamá, right there." Horrifying, how quickly a new relationship between the two bloomed right before your eyes as they continued to converse.
How are you going to get out of this? Your stalker is making great friends with your mom, no one can help because he deleted the evidence, and you would soon find out the next morning at school that your locker was clean of envelopes as well. Nothing was working in your favor and you realized that there was no way to escape. He included himself into your life so easily, when you wanted him out, out, out. You hated this shit, but he seemed to love it, sending you a look of appreciation as you both stepped into your abode.
Miles was so grateful for having you as a part of his life. The stars aligned and allowed you both a chance at beauty and growth. He wouldn't let this opportunity waste away like he had done many times in the past. You were his chance at redemption for all of the things he had done and the things that he planned to do later on. You were finally his.
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theinsanefoxwriter · 4 months ago
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Gregory Deserves Better...
I never make actual posts to be honest, but I feel the need to right now, because I’m just so…tired of this. My favorite character in the newer FNAF era has been mistreated by both fans and the creators. So I’m making this in light of the new book coming that, at least from the description we have right now, sounds like it’s just Security Breach, except Gregory is replaced by Cassie.
I’ve said many times elsewhere how I suspected they wanted to boot Gregory for Cassie, and...I had no idea how right I actually was. It angers me, but…mostly, I’m just hurt and very disappointed, because it sucks to see a character I loved get so disrespected then practically replaced. The ending of Ruin felt like a slap in the face, and the sting is only getting worse. (And very quickly, in case anybody takes this from what I'm saying, no I don't hate Cassie. I just don't want her to completely replace Gregory.) I’m not here to talk about that situation, though.
If anyone for some reason leaves a comment arguing the points I make, I’m just going to ignore or even delete it. I’m not here to discuss or argue with people who disagree with me and/or think Gregory is a bad character. I just want to express an opinion that I don’t think is said nearly enough. And that opinion is the fact Gregory is severely misunderstood and mistreated by both the fandom and canon itself. I’m not going to get into everything, but enough that you can hopefully understand the point I’m trying to make.
Most of the Gregory hate at the beginning was due to him destroying the animatronics and then lying about it to Freddy. I don’t see how this makes him hateable or a bad person. “Why’d he have to go out of his way to destroy them?” “He’s a bad person for lying to Freddy and giving him the upgrades of his friends.” “The Glamrocks were so awesome. Why did Gregory have to do that?” What kid in danger would want to help or be nice to the scary robots trying to kill them? Or against the better argument, why would he have sympathy for them in a moment of intense danger? When they were actively trying to kill him? He did what he thought he needed to survive, which was destroying them and using the good parts they had to give him a better chance against them. If they had been nice, he would have liked them, but they weren’t. They were after him. And choosing to do that plus being able to do that doesn’t make him a bad person, and it doesn’t mean he's uncaring towards others or that he’s heartless. What I think people don't take into account is that Gregory did befriend an animatronic, the one who wasn't attacking him. He went to great lengths to help Freddy, and genuinely cared for him; that bear needed to be rescued on more than one occasion lol, and Gregory clearly wasn't just doing it because Freddy gives him a hiding place.
And in regard to the lying, I think Gregory hid that he was getting the upgrades from Freddy's friends, because he didn't want to make Freddy mad or hurt his feelings. That does sound like something a kid would do, and he is a kid. He's not gonna be perfect in this situation, and he doesn't even do anything that bad. I don't think Gregory gets enough credit. Everybody just sees a mouthy kid destroying animatronics they like (despite the fact they're hunting him, and the virus has made them basically mindless. Why wouldn’t he?), and they hate on him for it and other rather stupid reasons. Gregory is more than the “annoying” kid who destroyed your favorite animatronics. He’s a clearly guarded and defensive child who got stuck in a bad and terrifying situation, but…in the end, stayed anyway to prevent this and other bad things from happening to anyone else. Gregory cares. Yes, even if he destroyed some animatronics. The creators calling him the “darkness of the Pizzaplex” or whatever they said doesn’t make sense. On the surface, he might look like some child who destroyed Freddy’s friends, but look any deeper at all, and that’s not the case. There’s so much potential for his character, and I’m upset that he isn’t being given the spotlight or time to further explore his potential properly, especially since Security Breach ended up being a bit lacking in a lot of areas: perhaps another factor in why he’s so misunderstood.
In the end, I’m simply tired of seeing a character that I connected with treated like he was just a writing mistake that now needs to be replaced by a “better” character. I’m not saying his writing was perfect, but he deserves way better than this. I feel very passionate about the characters I like, which is why this has affected me so much, and I hope at least a few people see this.
Anything I missed I’m going to touch on briefly here:
GGY? A cool concept, actually, that I wish was utilized in the games. And Gregory is clearly possessed there, similar to Vanessa, so him being Patient 46 and causing people’s deaths can’t actually be held against him.
Dropping the elevator on Cassie? I firmly believe that was not him, and very clearly the Mimic’s doing. There’s solid evidence behind it, but I’m not going to get into it because it’s exhausting. Just know that no one can convince me otherwise. And even if the writers wanted Gregory to do that, it’s out of character and clearly an act of character assassination.
Thanks for taking the time to read this. Now go hug a misunderstood gremlin!
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