#i think this says a lot about me

[lunatic-pudge]

Postal Dude NSFW Alphabet

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Was gonna work on my TF2 and Postal requests, but I've been sick and was in the ER cause of it. But depsite all of that, I'm still horrifically down bad for this stinky pissman. My need for this man cannot be contained. Halp

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A: Aftercare (What they're like after sex):

Admittingly, his aftercare kinda sucks. Just wipe ya off then pass out. It's just not something he's used to. You're gonna have to teach him how to do some proper aftercare. It'll take some time, but he'll get better at it with some time

B: Body Part (Their favorite body part of their and also their partners):

Now I'm putting my own (weird) biases here, Dude likes his hands. They're so long and spidery. Perfect to shove his fingers down your throat. He's such a long and gangly man.

Now his favorite body part on you would be your thighs. Thick thighs means a nice, fat ass and I can just tell that this man is an ass man. And also thigh highs?! The way they hug the thighs are there's that little thigh pudge at the top of the thigh highs. You know what I'm talking about. Dude lives for thick thighs. Choke them with your thighs, he'll die a happy man

C: Cum (Anything to do with cum, basically):

I'd like to think cums a lot. Please let me dream. Just picture him cumming in you so much that it spills out of you as more tries to fill in you. Maybe even creating a little tummy bulge.

But for taste wise, it is BITTER. Like it starts salty but gets bitter the more you taste it. So good luck with that. Man's good for stuffing ya, but the taste is one that will take a bit to get used to. Someone get this man on a better diet!

D: Dirty Secret (pretty self explanitory, a dirty secret of theirs):

I feel like he's secretly an exhibitionist. I just know that Dude would get off to people seeing him getting fucked. Hell, he'd probably let people run a train on him if given the opportunity. This man's a slut to the highest degree even though he gets no bitches

E: Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they're doing?):

I'd say he's got a decent amount of experience. Like, he definitely knows what he's doing. Could it be better? Yeah. Much of this man's potential has yet to be discovered

F: Favorite Position (This goes without saying):

Homie doesn't discriminate. Any position is a good position. You wanna ride him? Go for it. Want him to bend you over and pound the fuck out of you? He's already bending you over. He definitely loves being bent over, stuffed and fucked

G: Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.):

Has this man ever been serious? He's a chill boy. I don't really have much to say here. He's a goofy goober

H: Hair (How well groomed are they? Does the carpent match the drapes? etc.):

I'd say Dude's got a decent amount of hair. Definitely not hair, but not bare. And even then, it's light in color so it doesn't catch your attention at first. And he's kinda groomed. He'll keep up with it if asked

I: Intimacy (How are they during the moment? Romantic aspect):

Dude's not much of a romance person. But that doesn't mean he isn't trying. On special occasions, like anniversaries or your birthday, he'll put the effeort in. He'd be cheesy and break out the rose petals. How'd he get them? Don't worry about it. He's even broke out the candles as well, ignore the burn marks on his hands, his ass was not paying attention when lighting them and almost set the trailer on fire

J: Jack Off (Masturbation headcanons):

He does jack off, kinda often, but it's just never enough for him. He's tried all sorts of things but finds much more satisfaction being able to fuck someone. He gets irritable when he doesn't get needs fufilled

K: Kinks (One or more of their kinks):

I'm doing it. I'm going there. I don't care what you people say. He's got a piss kink. (So does Sniper but he's not apart of this, fight me) He will piss on you and he will have you piss on him. He'd be gross and try to drink your piss. He doesn't care. I'm a piss kink Dude truther

Another major kink I'll throw in here is pegging. He loves it when his lady put the strap-on on, bends him over, and makes him her bitch. Pegging makes Dude the most adorable little sub ever. Just a begging and moaning mess. You know you love it, don't deny it

L: Location (Favorite places to do the do):

Anywhere and everywhere. Just say the words and he's ready. Nothing will stop this horny man. NOTHING

M: Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going):

Your existence gets him going. You could be sitting around, reading a book or watching T.V. and that gets him hard. It's his inner simp showing. What really gets him going is seeing you wearing one of his shirts and nothing else. Especially when the shirt starts to ride up your thigh. It's like your teasing him without realizing

N: No (Something they wouldn't do, turn offs):

Now Dude is a pretty open guy, but of course he has limits. I'll just say that he's not into the really gross stuff. The only gross thing he likes is piss. Like, that's the only time you're gonna see this man at his most vile. Anything else gross and he'll start gagging and leaving

O: Oral (Preference is giving or recieving, skills, etc.):

Loves oral. Prefers to receive but will gladly give. Sit on his face. He's begging you to. But when you give him head, watch out cause if you don't stop him, he'll wanna fuck your face. He loves being able to stuff his cock down your throat

P: Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.):

Loves going fast and rough. He lives for it, especially when you mark him up during it. Rarely is slow and sensual. He'll be slow on thos rare intimate moments he has. But wither way, he will leave you a shaking, satisfied mess afterwards

Q: Quickie (Their opinion on quickies, how often, etc.):

Not the biggest fan but desperate times call for desperate measures. He tries to not partake in quickies often so when it does happen, he's so desperate to cum

R: Risk (Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks etc.):

Huge risk taker. The risk is what gets hims going. Always ready to take them. Bouns points if you're like him in that aspect. You two would be such an unstoppable force, for real for real

S: Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?):

He's got some pretty good stamina, especially when he's high on crack. He's practically insatiable. You two will be going at it for HOURS. Practically a whole day of sex so you better be prepared or you'll be a pile of dust afterwards. And yes, he will make fun of you for it.

T: Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?):

Literally in the one scene in Brain Damaged when he's sitting on his couch, there's a fucking dildo on the floor. So obviously yes, he owns toys, and yes he uses them. And yes, he will use toys on you. Why wouldn't he? Using toys means extra fun, and Dude ain't gonna pass up such an opportunity to tease and overstimulate you

U: Unfair (How much do they like to tease?):

Such a teasing bastard, and a hypocrite. Loves to tease and make you beg, but can be stubborn at first when you try to same tactics on him. He knows how to press all the right buttons when teasing. He rightfully deserves to be treated back, but also a little more harsher for being such a little shit

V: Volume (How loud are they? What sounds they make? etc.):

I'd say Dude isn't the loudest, he prefers to hear you rather then himself. But that can easily be changed with a little pegging. Remeber, he's a hoe, so he is fun to make a moaning, whiny mess, just begging for more

W: Wild Card (A random headcanon for the character):

If it isn't obvious by now, this man is bi/pan. You cannot look at this man and say he's straight. It's just such a bold face lie. Homie likes his men, women, enbys, trans people equally. All he wants is a good time. I'd say he has a slight preference for more feminine people. But now by saying that, I'm thinking of femboy Dude and I'm more than here for that

X: X-Ray (Let's see whats going on under those clothes):

Now please bear with me here, cause I unfortunately don't have male anatomy. I'd say he's about six inches, cut, head's this nice little rosy pink color and SENSITIVE

Y: Yearning (How high is their sex drive):

Very high drive, constantly horny. He cannot be contained. Sometimes multiple rounds a day isn't enough for him. He understand that sometimes, you're not gonna be needy as him so he's used to having to take care of himself. Though he'd appreciate some help during these trying times

Z: Zzz (How quickly they fall asleep afterwards?):

Almost immediately after doing the do. That's probably why his aftercare sucks cause he's ready to pass the fuck out most of the time. Falls asleep like a man in the Victorian era dying from Influenza. He's practically clonked out like a dead man too. It's ridiculous and deserves to be bullied for it

[thechemical98]

the best part about waking up is that you get to rapid-fire pop your joints like it feels blissful to do and hear

[peanutseagle]

I've been reading fanfiction since 4th grade. FREAKING 4TH GRADE. I WAS ONLY NINE???

[deathbypufferfish]

Recurring things in my dreams because I just need to get it out of my system. Like I am constantly back here to the point I'm like "fuck this again" when I dream it again.

It's the zombie apocalypse AGAIN (I'm with the walking dead guys). I am amazing at shooting zombies.

I can float and no one thinks it's even a little bit cool. I've dreamt this for as long as I can remember. To the extent that I forget that is not real.

Skiing I'm always skiing I don't ski but I'm convinced I can ski now.

The weirdest longest narrowest public bathrooms ever.

I'm at a water park! Oh God I forgot to shave my bikini line. Half of it is standing in line getting into the park?? There is an air of danger to the water park.

I'm just buying souvenirs at Disneyland. Usually pirate stuff or christmas ornaments.

At CVS but they have REALLY cool stuff just for ME!

Buying Japanese blind boxes for like $1 each and I never open the goddamn things in the dream.

Buying beanie babies that do not exist at thrift shops! yippee!

This very specific concept for a sims world and it's starting to get to me. New England coast vibes. There's a boardwalk with half rabbitholes (movie theatre, bookshop) and half visit-able shops. There is a roller rink in the center. downtown is old brick buildings and there's small little apartments in them. BASEMENT apartments too. The brick apartment buildings are centered around one long main street instead of a neighborhood. You can own a business in one of the storefronts. There are fruit vendors, a grocery store, and other rabbit hole shops along the main street.

I'm in an elevator in a really big hotel and I don't know my floor OR room number.

Petting bears .

A super cool magical world and oh god I have to save everyone and there's a conspiracy.

Genuine horrors!

Hiking through a big forest with big streams and at some point we gotta run out of there parkour style because a big magical goo is coming.

Climbing this huge snowy mountain (usually with my mom or friends) and there is a tiny cabin at the top and a beautiful statue garden. It is very peaceful.

I'm in Skyrim and I'm stealing these rich bad guys lodge aw man I can't live here what the fuck I did this quest for nothing.

Beating up guys from my highschool.

Walking around this huge mansion/museum but we can't go to the top floor because the king is sleeping there..

I'm in a shitty arcade connected to my local movie theater that does NOT exist and also it is so shitty and the prizes suck.

God I'm in a Mario game and I have to do parkour fuck.

I forgot my bikini top on vacation so I just swim without one and I think everyone is looking at me but they do not give one shit.

Fancy beautiful wonderful showers ohohoho and I take a great shower OH SHIT I GOT WATER EVERYWHERE.

Exploring my grandma's old house but its a weird mansion with bathrooms that have little stairs going up to the toilet right under the ceiling and also the bathrooms are carpeted.

There is this giant secret part to my grandma's old house. Historical shit.

The freezer is filled with gas station ice cream yippee!!!!!!

I'm driving a car oh my god I can't drive oh and I'm driving from the passenger seat??????? How am I doing this?????? Whatever it's on autopilot I'm fine. I hope a cop does not see me driving this car from the passenger seat.

There's an apple orchard in my old town (there isn't).

I'm just trying to find the bathroom in this freak combination of all the schools I've been to someone help me.

Oh I found the school locker room oohh now I'm in a big open-air area in a barn??? Warehouse???? It's so sunny and warm and there's all these wooden stalls for outdoor showers yippee!!!!!

I'm getting fast food with my friends. I accidently order three sandwiches. I'm severely distressed over this.

I'm at the mall and I am looking at all the tasty snacks (great ice cream and coffee selections) and trying to find a hot topic oh no I'm lost.

QUICK TO THE ESCAPE POD ON THIS SPACESHIP.

I'm in a musical or dance recital and I do NOT know ANY of my lines or ANY choreography and I just have to wing it and NO ONE seems to notice.

THERE'S THIS HUGE T-SHIRT STORE. IT'S JUST T-SHIRTS BUT THEY'RE ALL THE WEIRD THRIFTED ONES I LOVE. I NEVER GET TO GO IN.

I'm at my Babushka's apartment building but it is 3 of them attached to each other and it's dystopian and scary.

I'm speaking Russian (I have not spoken Russian since I was like three and it wasn't even a lot).

I'm trying to break in to my elementary school (let me in).

I'm on a huge oh my god gigantic playground jungle gym I am going to die if I fall.

oh hey it's my sims hey you guys.

oh hey it's the munch story sims hey you guys.

sometimes I think I'm just walking through a wetland and that's it. Unclear if I am a wetland creature or not.

I'm sneaking through my ex-friend's house (SOMETIMES invisible)

Triple bunk beds

there's so much more but i can't morally make this post longer thank you for listening. Um tag yourself.

[teasandcardigans]

how to be her

but my god how to be her

[trippyskippy]

oh i just had the cutest lil lifegoal fantasy! i did a project in high school where you did a budget as someone with your dream job. well i picked voice actor cuz i love cartoons & i *am* a cartoon so why not. so- what if OF/my internet personas make the connection for me to live my dream of being a cartoon character?! that would be so cool 😅��

[sunnetrolls]

just told the youtuber in the video im watchign to hush so i could read

[illusioncanthurtme--art]

Physically? I am sitting in my bedroom. Mentally? Spiritually? I AM DEAD ON THE FLOOR!!!!! THESE TWO HAVE KILLED ME!!!!

(Another drawing! This was originally attempt #1 at drawing stan, and then fiddleford just showed up. Kinda feels like them five minutes after the above acting like nothing happened though, so it works sdjkgkjfshj)

[haveihitanerve]

when you type "i love" into the search bar and the next word your phone suggests is 'himbos'

[inkskinned]

in internet posts it is easy to cut them out of your life. they are hurting you! they aren't listening to you!

they held your hair back. they lent you lipstick. they held your hand at the train station and got you home safe. they rounded on your bully, got loud, said get fucked, spitting-mad in your defense.

they also cut the hair off again. told you that you should really think twice before wearing something like that. took you for granted. took your insecurities and threw them in your face again.

you know logically it should be easy. all the internet advice comments always read it will feel better. like an equation - if a person is rotten, you just remove them. you pull the tooth that's hurting.

but it was never a big flare-up moment. you don't live in a sitcom. they never tried to take your boyfriend or steal from your apartment. they showed up to birthdays and they wrote songs about you and bring you water without you asking. once you found out they carry an emergency inhaler for you, even though you haven't had an asthma attack in years - just in case.

where is the line? people fuck up. sometimes they fuck up badly. sometimes people have raw personalities, like a powerline, and being around them is dangerous. addicting. sometimes they can't help themselves, but you know they're trying. sometimes they are just rough-around-the-edges. sometimes they don't even realize how they sounded when they said that. sometimes it's just - you've both loved each other for so long now, the way this thing hurts goes back to the root.

and that's the fucked up part. you have pushed your fingers against the sweetheart of memory. things these days are electric, tense, harrowing. they didn't used to be. there were a lot of good days in there. sometimes you want to just close your eyes and say can this be over yet? do we still need to be fighting?

doing that would give up any chance you get of getting an apology, but you don't always know that you need an apology, you love them. once they flaked on your birthday party. once they told you to get over it, people are always dying. they also let you crash on their couch for a week after the breakup, handfeeding you when you were so sad you couldn't eat. they are also judgmental about everything, occasionally react to banal statements with an attitude that is weird and fiery. they also love you like a lighthouse sometimes, so strong they cut the storm like lightning.

but the problem is that you might be storm. you might be the thing that needs breaking. what if you are two forces who are desperately, horribly drawn to each other, shaped by the other person's passions, and both good for each other and bad in equal measure.

what if you're both just people, and you're no saint neither.

just cut them off! swallowing the saltwater, you catch yourself in the mirror. you've been shaking more than usual. there's an ache in you that is oblique, loud, impossible to soothe. is this what it looks like? when life is "easier"?

your mouth will always have a hole, is the thing, if you remove the tooth.

[hinamie]

"I'll show you every day that choosing to live was worth it"

some of my favourite scenes from @hijinks-n-lowjinks' fic things i would miss from the other side . this fic tore my heart out fr but like in a good way and i wanted to pay it homage the only way i know how <3

[crsh]

i’ve never wished death on anyone but myself

[abstractfrog]

Happy 1 year anniversary to Mr Sherlock Holmes! Here's a litttleee celebratory comic from me

[theabigailthorn]

"Good" Acting

i have a theory that a lot of people say acting is "good" when they're emotionally moved by it, and a lot of cishet white people have a lifelong habit of not listening or empathising when minoritised people speak, so minority actors get called "bad" even when they display some pretty fucking amazing technical skill

[cozylittleartblog]

Columbo and the Knight (1984)

put me in the universe where Columbo ran through the 1980s and had a crossover episode with Knight Rider. I think they deserved it, and I am not just saying that because they're my two favorite Old Shows. @telebeast wrote a little fanfic blurb about it and I HAD to visualize it into a comic (which is also the longest comic I have finished thus far at five pages...), so writing credit goes to them.

Autism W!

[uptownthots]

I think if you consider yourself someone who genuinely cares about dismantling bioessentalism and the speaking out about harm it does to society you HAVE to acknowledge that bioessentalism is one of the oldest tools in the patriarchy's toolbox and not something twentieth-century TERFs invented