#i think they should have phones in bg3
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anonymouscreampuff · 7 months ago
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this is durgetash to me
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daemon-in-my-head · 25 days ago
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I'm gonna say smth and I need people to read and understand what I mean.
It is perfectly fine to critique games. It doesn't matter what exactly you critique. You don't like the story? Say it. You don't like the combat? Say it. You dislike the way previous lore has been handled? Say it. You dislike the character creator? Say it. You think certain aspects of the game feel lazy or odd? Fucking say it.
Games at this point of time cost 60-70 bucks. Just the game itself. And it's often not even a physical copy, just a digital key they can revoked at any moment if they feel like it. If you want an advantage or a pretty limited skin or what have ya its gonna be 80-150 bucks. Yes that's how outrageous the prices are becoming. Let alone any future DLCs.
And again, it's 60 fucking bucks for just the base game. That's a lot of money for games. Not too long ago you'd be chased with pitchforks and torches had you said your game was that expensive. Some phones are as expensive as two AAA games, games that usually shine with a shit ton of flaws, bugs, missing content, messed up lore and generally feel like the publisher just wanted to make a quick dime. And considering how little time they take to develop, the later often holds true.
But yk what else? If you don't express your disgruntlement or your anger with these practices it's gonna keep going. Shit is only gonna get more expensive while also providing a worse playing experience. Y'all know what the big guys said about BG3. That we, the players, shouldn't expect that to be the new standard.
But hey, listen, we fucking should. It's our money and time. Our enjoyment of long established series or the first title of many. We should expect it to be fucking good and finished especially for such a great prize. We should expect to find entertainment in the things we buy exclusively for entertainment.
So please for the love of god stop attacking people for voicing their very valid and personal opinions. In fact do the opposite and join them and encourage others to do the fucking same. I'm so god damn tired of publishers doing everything only for the sake of sales rather than the art behind it. And yes of course 'the poor employees' and whatever excuses there are for these attacks. Guess fucking what buddy? You encouraging the Publishers behaviour by shutting down any and all criticism and buying whatever the fuck they slapped a name on is just telling them they get away with treating their people like less than shit.
Criticism is healthy. Criticism is required for a system to work and develop in positive ways rather than whatever tf is happening now. Voicing your opinion and critiquing aspects you find poorly handled is not hating a game. It's being disappointed that something you love and are absolutely passionate about was not treated well because some rich guy wanted yet another bonus check.
If a game is shit, call it out. If a system was handled poorly, call it out. If publisher try to limit the content and systems you're exposed to in the first 2 hours because you can still return the game in that period of time, call it the fuck out.
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lokorum · 4 months ago
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what would you say is your favorite jonmichael fic..... im very curious and love to reread anything in that tag
oh but how can i pick only one when they all are so good??? (,,•᷄‎ࡇ•᷅ ,,)?
aaaaaa can i make the several honorable mentions of the fics that made me scream and roll on the floor?????? pretty please???
scheherazade was one of the first jonmichael fics that i found while going through all of the cher's works because, evidently, they have no fics that are not worth reading!! (i'm sorry if and forty feet down only confirming it!!!)
sleep inertia has one of the best dialogues i ever read!!! the way cruelzy writes michael's lines??? aaaaaaaaa its so delicious and believable and never for a second i thought i'm reading something out of canon?? its just that good. 
carousel is the only one fic (from what i found) that i set in the last season and its adds a lot of layers to that big jonmichael onion that torments my eyes for a while now ldkfjgkdfjg also it's messy?? i mean the whole situation in the fic?? its so humanly complicated and it does not gives you the chance to experience any of the feelings clearly and i love it!! screechfox somehow captured all of the complicated stuff in one fic, blendered it together and for the whole time i just couldn't take my eyes away from it. 
five times michael saves jon's life and one time he doesn't have to - is here to sooth our pain and heal our wounds. i reread it so many times!! the dynamic between jon and michael in it is one to live for!!! sometimes you think 5+1 kind of fics can't surprise you anymore and then the coolest author like paisleycowboys enters the room and proves you wrong. 
to be like super honest, the 100 ways to say i love you series, when i first saw it, made me think im not gonna like it? i love my fanfics long and scary and bittersweet and with a bad-very-not-good-endings, so the title of this one made me go "hmmmmm HMMMMM hmmmmm hmmmm?" but ive started to read it anyway, theres not that many fics on the ao3 for jonmichael, we cant afford to be capricious and gosh GOSH i was so fucking wrong!!! its sweet AND sad AND scary AND awkward (in a best way!!!) AND it made me giggle so many times!!! NeedsCaffeineRightNow can make even the edgiest of us enjoy the soft kinds of fics (its not hard when they are written with so much care and love.)
POSSESSIVE!! MICHAEL!! COMBING!!! JON'S!! HAIR!!!!!! what else do we need from life?
transition, every time i reread it or think about it, makes me painfully aware of how many things should coincide for something to work. it's not one of those fics that completely encompass you; nor its the one that leaves you with new headcanons or in a good mood, no, i think it's the one that leaves you in dissoray, making you want to argue with author, to ask them what were they thinking about, pointing on your weak sides like this?, giving you something precious and then stealing it away? pushing your old bruises? that is to say, i have nothing but deep respect for indefensibleselfindulgence. to write fic that makes you want to engage in conversation? thats powerful 
Our 'Angel' of Static and Bone is written so inexplicably good, that more than once i wondered, how NeverwinterThistle was able to do it? and then i realised they are one of my fave bg3 and dishonored authors phpphp but really, the care, the effort that went into this fic? they are literally visible! you can feel the amount of time and brain juice that went into writing it. and the neighbor character? they appeared like two times?? and still their addition left me speechless with how clever it is, how different!! absolutely amazing work.
adjective noun has jonmichael chapter (11) that destroyed me as a person i swear i laughed so hard i dropped my phone and just kept giggling face-into-the-pillow style!!!!!! its rare for the fics to bring you this childish kind of pure joy; the little in-between moment of forgetting about everything, good and bad, and just have a good time. this chapter is definitely one of those rare things and it also made me wish there would be more jonmichael fics from cuttoth. somehow they nailed everything that should be nailed about this ship and did it in a couple of pages, what a magical work!! 
and well, now here's my fave fic, the one that took my head, shaked it like it's a soda can, and then left it open, fountaining at first and then dented and empty. 
I ask for nothing, but maybe I'm lying is the work that made me grateful for the fact that i know how to read in english. its....mmmm, you know that feeling when fic makes you go through literally everything? and then, as a bonus, through all stages of grief as well?
first you get hooked up by the beautiful writing style and so you know the fic is gonna be good and you get comfortable and you turn yourself off from the rest of the world and you read. 
you love pov, you love mood shifts, you love pacing, you love when scenes are short and you pause to think about what happened / you love when scenes are long and you get overloaded with the simple things that make you feel complicated emotions, you love it all. 
then you start to wish it would never finish; you look at the scrolling bar from time to time, a little bit too aware of how much there's left to read, a little bit too anxious about it. and at the same time, the fic starts to make you feel safe, confident, that at least it's gonna be alright, its gonna be that one work that will replace the canon events for you. it was the
“Oh. Oh, Archivist, no. That’s not right at all,” you say to yourself as you watch him march into artefact storage, both hands clamped around an axe. 
On a whim, you decide to save him."
line for me for sure uhhh it still hits as good as the first time too 
and then you get to the ending and you just stare at the screen. that hollowing feeling slowly spreading inside you. *sigh* its the best sort of inspiration im sure, but its the worse one too. i have no idea how possessedradios and authors like them are able to write something that kills you, then reanimates you and then makes you sit in front of the tablet drawing hours non stop. ''I ask for nothing, but maybe I'm lying" is so beautiful its scares and fascinates me, just like the podcast did. hell, better then the podcast did.  i know its silly but i even named my fisrt fanart of michael as the title of the fic 👉👈
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ahhhh SO i rumbled again SORRY!!!!!!! every time someone asks something from me its either "i'll reply later" (replies 10 years after) or "tolstoy, hold my fucking beer". but i really hope that fic writers, not only those who are mentioned here but like in general? know how much they affect other people!! how their work creates safe spaces for others!! how they make readers smile or cry, even if those readers (im not pointing finger on myself idk what you talking about pgphpphph) are little gremlins that leaving comments once in a decade....................
have fun time reading!! <3
btw im working on a little fanart rn............. (expressing my deepest grattitude to ao3 johmichael writers 😳🔪)
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WIBTA if I told someone I just started hanging out with that I think they should dump their boyfriend?
I (24NB) finally hung out with one of my neighbors (25F) for the first time the other day. We met bc she had seen my car in the complex, and we finally ran into each other at the store one day and agreed that we should hang out together. I asked if it would be okay if my partner came and met up with us. She said yes and asked if her boyfriend could as well, and of course I said yes.
Well the hang out comes, and long story short, this guy is an absolute dick. Throughout the night, I watched him gaslight her no less than 5 times. I watched him steal her phone and smack her several times (not hard, but it def wasn't just being "playful"). He was constantly demeaning toward her and did not have a single nice thing to say about her the entire time. I was trying to get to know her and her interests, and any time she would start to speak up, he would either speak over her, speak for her, or preemptively make fun of whatever interest she was about to talk about. Any time he did that, I would show immense interest in her interests, not just bc I was also interested in them, but also to let her know that it's okay to like and enjoy things??? And I genuinely wanted to show how much I enjoyed these things as well. He and I even got into a little bit of an argument bc, when we started talking about DnD (they were interested in finding a group to play with for their first time and my partner and I both play), he was arguing about how the game worked (both the rules and social dynamic). He said you were supposed to undermine and fuck over the GM, and he said he knew the rules bc he's played BG3. Eventually my partner shows up and immediately sees what kind of asshole this guy is and starts employing the same tactics I was using (reassuring Friend in her interests, politely but very sternly objecting when he said something negative, etc).
My partner and I have both been in abusive relationships in the past, and this guy was giving the most blatant display of every single red flag either of us had ever seen. We both really did enjoy hanging out with her, but we def don't want to see her boyfriend again. And I want to tell her what an absolute dick this guy is being towards her, but we've only hung out the one time, and I don't want to seem like I'm over-stepping. But also, I have zero doubt in my mind that she absolutely needs to end that relationship, because if this is the kind of behavior he was comfortable displaying in front of strangers, who knows how bad it is behind closed doors. I just don't want to potentially make things worse by her getting uncomfortable and cutting us off.
So would I be the asshole for telling her she should dump him, even though we've only hung out once?
What are these acronyms?
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writtenobsession · 6 months ago
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Minthara’s Jaluk
Modern AU Minthara x Male Drow Tav/Reader
THIS IS 18+ FANFIC! You’ve been warned.
Summary: You were given a set of rules to follow while at a work event for Minthara’s work. The promise of a reward at the end of the night motivates you be on your best behavior.
Tags: Dom Minthara, Sub Male Drow, Under the table clothed handjob in a public area, oral, hair pulling, and using a tie as a leash.
A/N: This is smut for smuts sake. I remember seeing a dirty bg3 confession about someone wanting their male drow to be dominated by Minthara. It lived in my brain rent free for a while. Written and posted on phone. This is my first time ever writing smut. May or may not do a part 2. Let me know if you think I should? (I couldn’t think of a title to save my life… I’m trying)
Drow terms used: Jaluk- a derogatory term for a male drow, Harl'il'cik- kneel, Parzdiamo- male playmate who is not the house patron, Ilharess- matron.
Word Count: 10,950
Your rules for the evening:
1.) Do not embarrass me.
2.)When asked about our relationship, keep it simple and to the point. Do not give out too much information.
3.) I will allow you to call me “My dear” or “My Love”, anything else will displease me.
You will receive your reward when we arrive home.- Minthara
Events like these were always stressful. Trying to remember peoples faces, etiquette, the rules, and keeping her happy. Your outfit for the evening already picked out to complement hers, the chauffeur waiting for you at the bottom for the your shared luxury apartment, and traveled downtown to the business district for the hotel hosting her work event. Stepping out of the sleek car, you straighten your tux and check your watch.
“Right on time,” you thought before taking a deep breath and plastered a well practiced smile in your face, “Let the show begin.”
With false confidence, you walk into the lobby and instantly recognize a few familiar faces for Minthara’s office. Smalltalk was always torturous for you when it came to these events. The questions were almost always the same, such as, “How are you?” or, “How’s work?” These people had no interest in you when you used to work in the same building, but once Minthara brought you to the last event, their sudden friendly demeanor grated on you. Once a lull in the conversation, you excused yourself to attempt to find your her. Shuffling through the crowd, you spot her in front of a few higher ups in the company in front of entrance to the rented hall for the evening. She looked gorgeous. You could feel your heart race just gazing upon her. Her hair done up perfectly, the earrings you picked out that matched your cuff links for your anniversary, and her black dress that hugged every curve on her well toned body. Her leg occasionally peaking out from a side slit as she adjusted her stance. You stood there admiring her from afar for just a moment before you caught her eye. A warm smile formed on her lips.
“Will you excuse me, gentlemen,” She said before sauntering over. Once she reached you, her smile harden. “You’re late.”
“I’m sorry, my Love,” you look at her lovingly, “I couldn’t help, but admire you for a moment.” She hummed at the comment, approving of your answer. “It’s almost time for the main events to begin, Darling.” You hold out your arm to escort her into the main room. She leans into you with a wicked smile for a moment and whispers, “It seems I’ve trained you well.” The hairs on the back of your neck stand. You’re already having a tough time keeping your composure. She links her arm with yours then proceeds to lead the way. Of course more small talk ensued, but it becomes manageable when your fiery lover takes charge. You would be lying to yourself that if you said this side of her wasn’t a turn on. You were pulled out of your mind when Minthara squeezed your arm lightly.
“Darling, they’re announcing that it’s about the time to take our seats.” She looked you in the eyes as if asking, “What in the hells are you doing.”
“Of course, my dear.” It took you a moment to remember where you were before walking directly towards your table near a front corner of the stage. Just enough out of the lights not to irritate Minthara’s sensitive eyes. You pull her chair out for her and rest your hand on her shoulder. She places her hand on yours and looks up at you.
You can practically hear her say, “Good jaluk,” with her eyes.
You could see some women elbow their husbands at your display of manners and love.
“Good,” you thought. You knew Minthara took joy at watching men quickly trying reenact your actions. You take your seat next to her and greet the newcomers to the table. The chatter of everyone finding their seats, you felt Minthara lean over and whisper into your ear, “You look wonderful, Jaluk.” You felt her finger ghost over your thigh for a moment. You clear your throat as you choke a down the urge to let out a soft moan. Her chuckle let you know this was the reaction she wanted. “Maybe I’ll give you a taste of tonight’s events.” You slowly turned your head towards her you almost give her a pleading look before you heard footsteps approach the podium on stage. You turn back towards the stage with your mind racing with thoughts of what she had planned for you. All attention was on the Elven man on stage as he began his speech.
“Good evening everyone, I would like to thank…” You brain cut him off when you left Minthara’s left hand squeeze your thigh.
“Gods is she really going to..?” You left her hand creep ever closer toward your length. You glance back at her, her eyes told you everything you needed to know. “Be quiet and eyes forward.” She began to palm your growing length, giving you a delicious amount for friction. You turned back and made yourself focus on anything because you knew the moment you allowed yourself to lose focus, your moans will escape from your lips and alerting everyone to what was going on under the table. Her hand movements begin to become more bold. It took you everything not to show how much you’re enjoying this. You felt her fingers begin to fiddle with the zipper on your trousers, the sensation made you flinch.
“Shit,” You mentally scold yourself. “She’s not going to be pleased by that.” You felt her give your thigh a light squeeze. That was your signal for your last chance to behave. She was being very lenient with you tonight. She continued gently rubbing her hand over length. You were aching under her touch. You could feel her enjoying this control over you. Right when you could feel yourself getting to the point of no return, her hand pulled away. It took all of your willpower not to whine in disappointment or sigh with relief that you didn’t have to break out an exit plan. You hear Minthara get called on stage to give a speech. Feel her brush your shoulder and watch the sway of hips strut past you and up to the stage. You’re completely enamored by her. The rest of the night went without anymore hiccups, but you were too distracted by what the rest of the night holds.
You arrived in the lobby of your apartment and waited for the elevator in silence. You swear Minthara could hear your heart about to burst out of your chest. Your cheeks begin to flush by the time the metal doors opened before you. The moment you walked through, you feel her hand rest on the back of your neck and pulls you into a kiss. It was hungry, like she hadn’t been touched in months. You feel her other hand grab your tie and to hold you in place. You look deep into her ruby eyes, full of want and lust.
“Jaluk,” You shiver at the word, “You performance was almost perfect. Almost.” She emphasized, her eyes slightly narrowed. The elevator dinged and you felt her drag you out by your tie as if it was a leash. She leads you to your front door before letting you go and stands there without a word. You at the hint and enter in the code into the keypad. You were quick to open the door, allowing her to walk through.
“Jaluk, come.” Releasing your tie, she walks straight toward the couch and takes a seat. She crosses her legs and waits for you to stand before her. Her eyes fixated on you. You wait for her commands. “Harl’il’cik.”
Without a second thought, you kneel before her, like a parzdiamo at his ilharess. She hums approvingly. You stay silent, you anticipated her next words. You wait for those words where everything starts.
“Are you ready to give yourself to me?”
You gulp and slowly nod. “Yes.”
“Good,” she says are she uncrosses her leg and slightly spreads them. You feel yourself begin to harden once more. She’s your queen, your goddess yet you’ve never said it out loud. You never needed to because she knew.
You reached for the slit of her long gown. As you slowly plant soft feather like kisses on her left leg. Once you’ve reached past her knees, you carefully spread her legs a bit farther to allow yourself to sit between them more comfortable. You could feel her eyes watching your every move. Your hands travel up her thighs to remove the delicate fabric underneath, yet your fingers only find smooth flesh. Your eyes widen and look up at her. You could feel yourself becoming more aroused and your cheeks becoming flushed. She looks at you with a satisfied smirk. She chuckles and rests her hand on your head. “What’s wrong, jaluk?”
“N-nothing, my-“ you were interrupted when you felt your hair roughly grabbed. You release a soft moan.
“Then show me.” Her voice firm yet a hint of lust hangs in the background. You’re more than willing to show her that nothing is the matter. You raise the rest of the dress up her legs until you could see for your own eyes the beauty hiding there. You feel her guiding your head towards her crotch. You’re more than happy to oblige her command. Your hands travel up her outer thighs, your face inching closer, and your thoughts only filled with her.
You gently grab her hips and pull her closer to edge of the couch. Your eyes flick to meet her eyes for a moment before taking a long broad lick of her folds. You continue licks her rhythmically before using your tongue gently flick her clit. Her soft sighs encouraging you to continue. You begin to pay attention to give her inner walls by probing with your tongue. Your actions were performed with great precision to ensure her pleasure. When you feel she was wet enough, you slowly inserted a finger. Her moans and heavy breathing egged you on to continue your goal to provide her pleasure. Inserting another finger, you begin to stroke her silken walls. Hitting every spot that makes her tighten around you.
Her moans and sighs were like a song you’ve played for years. The moment you feel her pull your face closer to her, you could tell she’s close to coming undone. You feel her quiver around your finger, a shiver runs through your body.
“Use your tongue,” she said almost breathlessly. Quick to follow your queen’s order, you swiftly replace your fingers with your tongue and devoured her like this was your first meal in years. Her hand painfully tight in your hair, but ignored it for her pleasure. Her hips grinding against your face, you pull her closer. Focusing all your attention on her little sounds and movements. Soon you feel her coming undone on your tongue. Her taste, smell, and cries are intoxicating. You were lost in thought, allowing her to ride out her orgasm before you were suddenly pulled away from her core. She lightly pulls your head back to examine her handy work. Her face was flushed and her chest heaving. The sight of her almost made you spill over.
“What a mess,” her husky and her hooded eyes look down on you. Her hand strokes your cheek then tilts your chin toward her. She pulls you into a kiss, tasting herself off your lips. “I believe it time for you to properly receive your reward.” A wicked smile crossed her lips. Your night was far from over.
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writernopal · 1 year ago
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So I did it...kind of! 😅
Well, my friends, it is the last day of Nano, and I survived! Now let's see how I did by the stats...
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That's 25,032/50,000 or 50.06% if screenshots aren't your jive. Which means no Nano win 😢
HOWEVER
I REFUSE TO COME OUT OF THIS CALLING MYSELF A LOSER
I am so fucking proud of myself. Not only do I have 25K more words than I did at the start of the month for AASOAF 3, but I also wrote 8,789 words for M.O.W, bringing me to a cool 33,821 words for November.
That is like actually insane output for me, especially because I have never worked on more than one WIP at a time. Frankly, I didn't think it was possible yet here I am doing it! And I learned and refined so much about my writing, editing, and ideation process!! I used writing sprints for the first time. I implemented new productivity practices, like making little phone prisons (pic below the cut bc they turned out so cute haha). I sharpened up my style and spruced up the bits that make it special. I read a passage from AASOAF 1 the other day bc I was feeling nostalgic and compared it to AASOAF 3 HOLY MAMA the difference is INSANE.
And all of this while still dealing with life 😭 Family commitments, stressful work deadlines, trying to prevent burnout (which hit me anyway rip), unexpected job hunting (resume and interview prep can fuck right off, but wish me luck it's still in flux), and trying to find time for myself (rip my BG3 solo campaign. i miss my computer boyfriends lol). It also occurred to me that I should stop drinking coffee (still going strong btw!) bc it was meshing VERY poorly with my SAD so I've been having more cranky days than non-cranky ones 😅.
Oh, and *shuffles through notes* did I also mention that I've been working on the AASOAF 3 companion material which is all uncharted territory that I am figuring out by the seat of my pants lol? Yeah, that too.
SO
Would I have liked to hit 50K? hell yeah
Did I win nano? no
But did I WIN nano? FUCK YEAH
ps: everyone is a nano winner in my heart. have a medal and a hot chocolate (or any warm beverage of your choice) 🥇☕
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^ phone prison
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callsignfate · 1 year ago
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Valeria x Chaotic wife Pt. 7
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(Sorry for the delay in posting, I've been busy and playing BG3 in my free time. I have a few more posts for today I hope to post!)
♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤
Valeria: *peacefully working while you relax on the couch quietly on your phone.*
R/N: Do your little spongebobs ever run around the endless fires in your head and lose your train of thought, but make you remember a random memory?
Valeria: I think instead of energy drinks and endless screen time, we should get you a therapist.
R/N: So is that a no?
♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤
R/N: The world is my oyster, so I'm going to try something new!
Valeria: That sounds like a good idea. It gives me time to finish my paperwork.
*An hour later, R/N comes walking in with torn up and dirty clothes.*
R/N: They oyster tried to eat me.
Valeria: I'm not even going to ask-
R/N: I tried rock climbing- I didn't know you needed gear
Valeria: ...
♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤
Valeria: Can you think, I mean, can you use more than your three brain cells to do this properly.
R/N: I'm only doing things with the available amount of brain cells I have. If you think I'm only doing something with two brain cells, then I only have two to spare.
Valeria: ...it sadly makes so much sense.
R/N: sadly?
♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤
R/N: it's beginning to look a lot like ch-
Valeria: *throwing a stapler off her desk at you* SHUT. UP. ITS STILL OCTOBER.
R/N: I like spooky season, but blame the stores already putting up Christmas decorations..
♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤
R/N: I like to think I'm well rounded.
Valeria: ..in getting yourself injured?
R/N: In life.
Valeria: ...taxes, making your own doctors appointments, making phone calls.. need I go on?
R/N: ...no.
♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤
Valeria: So.. have you learned anything?
R/N: Ask Valeria before we try to leave?
Valeria: No- well, yes, but no, I meant DONT FOLLOW STRANGERS IF THEY SAY THEY HAVE ANIMALS.
R/N: ...right right.
♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤
Valeria: Oh, we also need to go- where the fuck did she go?!
*R/N who got distracted by touching soft things.*
R/N: Val- VAL?!
Over the store intercom 5 minutes later: Valeria Garza, your child is waiting for you at cash register 5.
Valeria: Oh for christ sake.
♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤
R/N: I need to pee.
Valeria: then go pee.
R/N: I don't pee in store bathrooms.
Valeria: ... then where do you pee?
R/N: Only at home... duh.
Valeria: ...
♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤
*Valeria after taking you home after you had a allergic reaction to food you ate.*
Valeria: YOU DIDNT TELL ME YOU WERE ALLERGIC TO THINGS.
R/N: I forgot?
Valeria: YOU NEARLY DIED.
R/N: Wasn't even that good..
Valeria: THATS WHAT YOUR WORRIED ABOUT?
R/N: ...thought it would taste better.
♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤
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🍗 BG3 Modern AU: Harvest Feast [Thanksgiving] Dinner Edition 🥔
A/N: Obviously, Thanksgiving doesn't exist in this universe. I mean a version could exist. There have been so many wars and fights within realms, a big ironic, disarming feast technically could have happened before some bloodshed and genocide. I’m not a DND expert. But I think with a little creative licensing, you could twist this concept more into a Harvest Festival feast sort of thing. Just go with it, I wrote it on my phone while hiding from my family members. 
Astarion: 
You remember that one vine that’s like, “Everyone has a gay cousin. Bitch, I don’t have a gay cousin… Oh, oh I am the gay cousin.” That’s him- he's the gay cousin. Always crushes it at charades. Like, he’s the unbeaten champion, for four years running. 
Gale: 
The host with the most. Always cooking new variations of the same meals. Some are good. Others, like his minimalist, organic tofu vegan recipe for turkey, are better left off as concepts, not executions. 
Wyll: 
Always brings the best dessert. And is the one to kick off the conversation at dinnertime. Either about his time as the Blade of Frontiers or about what’s currently happening in the capitol. The one cousin you’re most likely to learn is actually a secret gossip. 
Karlach: 
That one grown-up who prefers the kids to table to the grown-ups' tables. Always down to start a game outside before dinner is ready. Gets teasingly scolded by Astarion for making a bigger mess rolling around outside in the dirt than the actual children. 
La’zel:
Looks super badass when she arrives on her motorcycle. Shows up, eats, and then dips out back to hang out with Minthara for a smoke. That one intimidating, quiet cousin who everybody lowkey fears, and tries really hard not to provoke. 
Shadowheart: 
Did someone say WINE AUNT? No, seriously, she always brings the booze for the grown-ups. (Also in charge of bringing the pot, which is why La’zel and Minthara let her join them behind the garage.) She also always manages to look so put together. Not having children looks really good on her lol. 
Halsin: 
The kind of guy who goes out and hunts his own damn turkey, plucks in, and cooks it- all outdoors, without any sort of fancy oven or cookware technology. He’s got like a dirt hole firepit and a cover but always ends up making the most delicious turkey you’ve ever had in your life?? Says all he uses is salt and pepper but you know damn well, he’s lying. 
Minthara: 
The cool goth cousin you were always too intimidated to talk to as a child but who you grew up to really admire as an adult. She only comes to avoid the annoying guilt-tripping she’d have to endure should she skip. Is surprisingly personable once you get her high- almost like a Jekyll and Hyde thing going on. 
Bonus! Jaheira:
Your one Aunt who’s always exhausted, probably from having to rope her grown-ass children into doing normal things together as a family. Constantly can be heard whispering threats under her breath to them at the dinner table. Is always super nice and supportive to you though. 
Bonus! Minsc: 
Your outlier, kind of nuts Uncle who occasionally talks in the third person. Possibly from a head injury or maybe he was born like this. You can never get a straight answer. But he’s abstractly wise once you stop judging him by his initial appearance, and listen to what he has to say. Just don’t ask him about anything tangible like the moon landing, or if birds are real. Otherwise, you’re in for a long night. 
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themadlu · 5 months ago
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WIP Wednesday
Days of the week are a social construct, ok? Don't judge me and my bad prioritisation skills please.
Tagged by the amazing @vixstarria, thanks!
Sooo, I have been busy with a new job and travelling for said job recently, plus exams for a possible career change, so I haven't had as much time to write for fun. I'm also struggling with inspiration, but to make up for the longer waiting time between stories, here are two excerpts.
One is from my Astarion and Zélie longfic Dutiful As Death, and the other is for a new series with another BG3 OC that I'm still unsure whether to post on Tumblr or keep on AO3. Let's see if anyone guesses who the poor lass is doomed to fall for (he isn't happy about it either).
Dutiful As Death (Ch. 2)
She is on a beach. A beach that is not the one from her childhood, or from anywhere she has been before. She was high in the mountains and she is now somewhere else entirely.  Right. Breathe. In. Out.  The world spins as she sits up, but her trained breathing eventually helps her settle down. Still crouched, Zélie studies her surroundings, taking in every detail that can clue her to where she is.  She is on a cliff.  She is facing not the ocean as she thought but a river—an impressively wide one at that. Discontent weaves through her when she realises the area is unfamiliar to her.  Not Biarritz then. Nowhere else close to home either.  She instinctively searches her pockets for her phone before remembering she left it in the car in her rush to follow Percy. Worry for her brother’s safety mounts in her chest, but she forces it to subside. Nothing good ever comes from allowing fear to be in control. She survived so that she could search for her brother. She will not waste precious time with counterproductive worry.  Master your circumstances not to be mastered by them, Grandmama’s voice rings in her ears, authoritative even when distributing advice
Foul No More (some chapter somewhere)
"Listen, mate, I dunno who it is you think you are, but lemme spell it out: I. Am. Not. Sending. Any. Of. My. Crew. Back. There. I won't say that again. Now, I'm drinkin', you're leaving." He was close enough that he would have spotted the hard base of her horns peeking through her forehead like an oversized scab. Thankfully, he was too enraged (or too ignorant of anything non-human) to notice. Chiyo felt chastisement radiate from the blooming bruise on his right cheek already turning a dark purple. She was aware she should have at least tried to solve things diplomatically at the Grove's entrance. She was usually better at cooling things off (such a bore even fistfights lose their pathos), but that blasted man and the obscenities he spewed, he was begging to be hit. Maybe Bahamut put him on her path as a test of her wisdom and patience. She would say a little prayer to her god later on. Just to check. "I am not saying you should send your crew," Chiyo allowed, staring at the human's flaring nostrils. "I am saying you should come yourself. You know the way, you can show us around. We'd be much quicker." If looks could kill, she would be a pile of ashes now. The man's eyes bulged and he took a half-step closer, towering over her. His crew mates eyed her with anger. "And why would I walk to my death when I just escaped it, under-half-breed? We're done. Feck. Off." He all but spat through his teeth before turning his back to her to stomp to a nearby chair. Perfect angle for a kick in the backside. He was definitely Bahamut's doing. "Because you haven't seen your companions' bodies, have you?" Chiyo chided. Then, with more grace than she thought she could muster, "They may still be alive. Will you let them rot in a goblin's prison because you gave up on them so easily?" The tawny man stopped in his tracks.
Tagging (no pressure) @amywritesthings and anyone whoo feels like sharing!
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sweeter-innocence-fics · 9 months ago
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You Brought Your Worst and I'm Right Here - Chapter One: Prologue
Pairing: Gale of Waterdeep x female Tav
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Work Summary:
After an explosive falling out between Gale and his academic adviser, Mystra, Tav is left to pick up the pieces.
Modern/College AU.
Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Epilogue
Rating: Mature
Word Count: 790
Read on AO3.
Masterlists.
Taglist: @mrs-kai-anderson @ang3l1te @missryerye
Taglist info
Notes:
Hi guys, I can't stop playing BG3, please send help.
I'm planning on updating this fic every Monday <3
Major major warnings for grooming, suicidal ideation/suicide attempt, mental health problems
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In retrospect, Tav should’ve seen it coming. As it was, she was woefully unprepared for what was about to become to worst day of her life.
She had spent most of her day at the university library trying to finish up a lab report, and she felt like her brain was about to drip out of her ears.
What she really needed was a pizza and a stiff drink. As soon as she’d submitted her report, she was planning on eating herself into a food coma and then sleeping for eighteen hours.
She had re-read her report three times, and every single time she’d caught more typos. Normally, she’d get Gale to check it for her before submitting but she hadn’t seen him today and she didn’t want to have to wait around for him to respond.
She really should read it over one more time. That was precisely what she was thinking as she pressed the button to upload the report to her uni portal. As soon as that was done, she relished the feeling of closing down all of the tabs that had been bothering her for hours and then logging out of the library computer.
She checked her phone to see if anyone else had responded to her message from earlier where she’d suggested they get a takeaway.
Gale still hadn’t responded, although all the rest of her flatmates had. That wasn’t all that surprising. He could be a bit of a hermit, particularly recently. He was never one to say no to pizza though. She was sure she could tempt him when she got home.
Astarion was out this evening, but her other two flatmates had seemed keen as well.
The bus home was predictably crowded. Tav squeezed herself into a corner against the wall and willed her eyes to stay open for the duration of the journey. It was raining when she stepped off the bus.
By the time she’d made it to her street, cold rivulets of water were running down from her hairline to her chin. She shivered, glad that she had opted to leave her laptop at home today because her rucksack was getting worryingly damp.
It took her three tries to get her key to turn. The lock was stiff. Their landlord had advised them to put Vaseline on it to prevent this problem. Tav thought that if the lock was stiff enough to need Vaseline, then the landlord should’ve replaced it. He didn’t agree.
Finally, mercifully, the door opened, and she stepped inside.
A movie that Tav didn’t recognise was playing on the TV. Jenevelle, affectionately nicknamed Shadowheart because of her emo tendencies, was stretched out on the sofa, fast asleep.
Shadowheart was a medical student. Tav considered her workload to be slightly insane, and it wasn’t the first time she’d come home to find her passed out on the couch. Luckily, Tav knew her order off by heart, so she didn’t have to wake her until the food arrived.
Wyll was nowhere to be seen. She supposed that maybe he wasn’t home yet. Her stomach gave a loud grumble as she hung up her coat and deposited her rucksack on the radiator to dry. She shook out her hair and made for the stairs.
Gale’s bedroom door was closed. She knocked on it gently, and when she got no response, more forcefully.
“Gale?”
She had the strangest sinking feeling in her gut. Something was wrong. There was no light coming through the crack under his door. If Gale wasn’t home, why would his door be closed? None of them ever left their door shut when they went out (except for Astarion).
Maybe he was sleeping?
“Gale?” she called, louder this time. There was still no response. She rattled the door handle, and was relieved to find that it wasn’t locked. The door opened. She hoped he wouldn’t mind her intrusion, but she could handle him being annoyed if it meant quelling her anxiety.
It was very dark. She could just about make out the shape of him on his bed.
“Gale?” Even to herself, her voice sounded strange, too loud in the quiet of his room. “Gale?”
She took a tentative step towards him. Her eyes were adjusting to the light, and that’s when she saw the empty bottle of pills, lying discarded beside his bed.
She rushed to his side, grabbing his arm, but he didn’t react at all. She shook him, but his body was limp. Even in the dark, she could see the traces of vomit around his mouth. An inhuman scream ripped through her as she continued to shake him.
Somewhere far behind her, she heard the front door close.
“SHADOWHEART!” she screamed. “JEN? JEN!”
Next Chapter
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plethomacademia · 11 months ago
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HI!!!!!!
13. what’s a common writing tip that you almost always follow?
18. Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?
20. Have you noticed any patterns in your fics? Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?
HELLOO answering these 13. what’s a common writing tip that you almost always follow?
I am curious if these are common but I definitely give things a pass by reading them outloud, even if I just barely voice them. Getting words in my mouth helps me find rough points. I also write down every idea I get when I get it if I can. So I have a phone note and a notebook. I have adhd so I have to just make sure things don't get lost.
18. Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?
I LOVE DOING TITLES. Usually I get inspiration halfway and it will just click in my brain. Almost all of my fics on AO3 had no title when I started, then halfway through the draft a couple nouns will pop in my head. My secret santa fic title is the only one I can think of that didn't follow that rule but the process went like:
"What should this be titled? Oh it's Hothouse."
I have no idea where these come from! It feels like I am being haunted by a title ghost.
The only exception is the long fic where I have a meta game where I try to name every chapter with a quote from the game, but I only manage this half of the time.
20. Have you noticed any patterns in your fics? Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?
I am very repetitive so by definition yes. I use a lot of the same words. I like to play with combining them differently.
I did notice rereading some older work I never posted that I love the phrase "feel the lack," idk if that is from something but apparently I have been using it for a decade.
And yeah the theme is feminism and the consumption of women and the competing expectations of being a woman usually LOL. I am a cis woman in a male dominated field in my late 30s who wants to have kids soon, my entire life is this theme so it makes sense that's what I currently want to roll around in.
The other thing I like to do is take a character that is pitched as not normal, like a villain or a monster, and find the human squishy part. Why are they just people in the end, that's what I want to play with. I think that's why I love BG3's cast so much.
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hismercytomyjustice · 6 months ago
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Y'all, I am about to throw hands with Volo.
I spent...way too much time googling locations in Waterdeep and finally broke down and bought Volo's Waterdeep Enchiridion for the sake of my sanity.
Surely the "Visitor's Guide to the City of Splendors" would include helpful info like a list of taverns.
Surely.
NOPE. IT MOST CERTAINLY DOES NOT.
Yeah, it hints at a few and don't get me wrong, I'm hype to see the other info about Waterdeep because of two future chapters I wanna write that are gonna be set there.
BUT. I am sorely tempted to stop writing and go kick his ass in BG3 out of spite.
Alas, I must exercise self-control, BUT HE'S IN MY CAMP IN GAME AND HE BETTER HOPE I FORGIVE HIM BEFORE I LOG BACK IN.
Sidenote, I'm on my actual laptop instead of doing EVERYTHING ON MY PHONE LIKE A PSYCHOPATH and god it's so much easier and faster. I wrote that whole ass 8k Hazbin fic on my phone. I've written and edited a significant portion of THIS fic on my phone. All because it creates less hurdles for my executive function and helps trick my brain into accepting my writing doesn't have to be perfect (*gasp*) because phone writing is fake writing (don't tell my brain otherwise).
The most consistently I ever wrote in my life was when I worked as a bank teller and had a little notebook I'd whip out between customers. Having Google Docs on my phone is pretty damn close to that. I can be in the doc and typing happily away before my brain derails me with OCD spirals like "this is terrible, you should give up" or "why do you think anyone would ever want to read something like this" or "you're never going to finish this."
I spent literal YEARS convinced I was never going to write again because of said OCD spirals (definitely didn't realize that recently *borderline hysterical laughter*) and executive dysfunction. I cannot tell you how fucking nice it is to finally be writing regularly again and to have been at it for months now. I didn't think this would ever happen again. It makes me a little emotional.
But yeah, Volo your days are fucking numbered you Shakespeare-lookin'-ass-bitch.
(No ill will intended to the folks who actually wrote the book. I’m just being a deranged silly goose.)
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rodolfoparras · 8 months ago
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I don't even remember sending in another ask tbh I could've done it when like half asleep💀 sometimes I wake up with a random thought and just go !! I should tell Alec !!
I actually had Venus as an oc before bg3, he was kinda a rough draft LOTR oc that I felt didn't quite fit into the universe so once I got into d&d/bg3, I transferred Venus there !!
It was also because of Astarion I put Venus into bg3 !! I thought it'd be neat if they had a best friend/sibling dynamic where they both help each other adjust to life out of imprisonment :')
currently working on his design but hh my drawing pen is broken😖 so I'm using picrews to get an idea for him
Also tysm 🔮 !! Ur Tav seems so cool too !! :3 would love to hear more about him
-🌱
Sugar pls!!! You’re so sweet for thinking of me thank you!!😭 also hello the fact that you not only are able to draw but that you also draw him!?? I absolutely love how creative you are!! Also a really good app to use if you don’t have a drawing tablet is ibispaint x!! It pretty much works as great as any other drawing program except it’s on your phone or iPad!
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rottenbrainstuff · 1 year ago
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BG3 playthrough: still stuck in the Tiefling camp, and an amazing roleplay experience
(Spoilers)
First some quick notes, but then I want to talk about how this game is really making me get into *actual* roleplaying in a way I’ve never had a game do to me before. (I’m not sure why my phone keeps capitalizing Tiefling and I’m too lazy to correct it)
First of all: I am never going to leave this Tiefling camp, there’s too much to do and too many people to talk to. The Absolute is going to overrun Faerûn and I am going to still be sitting here having gruel with Otka and playing my violin for the kids.
What am I going to do if I run across another area that makes me this emotionally invested?? It is going to take me years to finish this game at this rate!!! (Well, this week I’ve had a bit less time to play though, which has also really slowed the progress down)
Hey a quick note: there was a little glitch for me with the Auntie Ethel conversation. I introduced myself to her as my tav, and got Astarion’s approval when I told her about our tadpoles, because he thinks it’s delightful how demented she seems. Then I talked to her again using a different character, got the same conversation, and got a SECOND Astarion approval. (Didn’t work again with subsequent tries) Someone told me you can do something similar when you pet scratch. Nice little bonus.
Ok anyways the main thing I wanted to talk about was the crazy fact that I am actually roleplaying in this game, getting emotionally involved, and legitimately able to make what feels like natural and realistic decisions based on what my character would actually do, rather than… you know… interacting with the game feeling very much like a player. Oh ok, here’s the conversation, here’s the normal dialogue option, here’s the smart dialogue option if my talk stats are good, and here’s the evil option, which is always bad to choose because it messes up your game. And I know, because I am a player playing a game, I should pick the normal option. This is how games always go.
Me and my friend were talking about our extremely different reactions we had to the Druids in the Emerald grove, and why.
So the Druids have been letting the Tiefling refugees stay there, but the welcome is wearing thin. Supplies are running low and goblins keep trying to attack. Now with the old leader of the Druids missing, the next highest in command wants to finally kick these Tieflings out. The current leader is creepy and militant, but mostly the other Druids range from “following orders” to “ok-ish”.
You have been told Nettie the healer might be able to help remove your tadpoles. She’s being a little evasive at first, but it’s because mindflayer infection is serious business and she wants to protect her people. After she realizes you are not going to be a threat, she confesses that unfortunately she actually doesn’t have a way to heal you. Their absent leader might though. She gives you a vial of poison and says she needs you to swear to take the poison if you start to change into a mindflayer, because if you transform in the middle of this grove you are going to kill everyone. You must swear: if you don’t directly swear it to her, she will become hostile and start a fight.
My friend who is playing is terrified of transforming into a mindflayer, and he likes Nettie, so he took the poison and promised sincerely.
In a normal game this would be the “good” route and the one I would normally take, because I am a computer game player playing a computer game and the goal of the computer game is to make the good numbers go up. Right?
My experience of the grove though has been very different from my friend’s. I am playing as a dark urge seldarine drow who is trying to be a nice guy. The Druids have been rude and racist to my character, which I’m sure he’s used to, but the contrast between that and how the Tieflings are friendly and welcoming to me is very noticeable. I had a conversation with the pickpocket kids about how people say lies and racist stuff about Tieflings too, just like they do with the drow. My character has been spending so much time getting to know the Tieflings in the grove, mediating arguments, playing with all the naughty Tiefling children, doing sleight of hand tricks for them, watching them pet Wyll’s cat familiar. (I need to be really clear, I’m not simply imaging that these activities are happening, this is flavour that is actually programmed into the game, ie the kids do literally follow around my cat and make comments about it)
So I get farther into the grove and find some frantic Tiefling parents being held back by Druid guards. Their daughter has been taken away because she stole something, (which she only stole because she thought it would prevent the Tieflings from getting kicked out of the grove, and anyway, it’s since been returned.) and they won’t let them see her. The Druid guards are, as always, being rude and racist to me, and my tav is getting angry at the way the Druids are treating his new friends.
So he goes to talk to the Druid leader, and is absolutely shocked to find she is threatening a Tiefling child with a venomous snake. Yes the kid stole something but I have to say again: she stole it because they are going to die on the road if they get kicked out, and the damned item was returned anyways. The leader is a real nasty piece of work, and when she saw me she even said that she feels this must be a good omen, having a blessed child of lolth visit their grove!!! First of all, yikes lady, but also: Lolth-sworn drow are different from seldarine, my kind rebels against the more brutal and merciless lolth-sworn, this was NOT a good comment to make to my character. By this point in time, my tav is absolutely fucking done with these fucking Druids. Yes, objectively speaking, most of the Druids are not terrible and I can see their point, but I felt like my tav in this specific situation would be feeling quite angry and hostile at this point.
So then we get to Nettie. The very first words out of her mouth to me are that the last time she saw a drow, it tried to cut open her belly, and did I have any plans of doing the same? She brings us into the back and there is a goddamned dead drow laid out on her table. I guess it attacked them and they’re studying it because it also had a tadpole infection but goddamn.
She is being evasive and asking a ton of questions. She confesses that if she decided she didn’t like us, she was going to poison us with this little thorn branch she was holding. Then she holds out the poison and demands that I swear to take it.
As a player, I know the best option is to swear, just to get her to shut up. It makes the good numbers go up, and that’s what it’s all about, right?
But my tav in that moment - I felt like he would have absolutely lost his goddamned temper. I’m doing a dark urge run and he’s trying his hardest to not hurt people horribly, but this has pushed him over the edge of his patience. The Druids have been shit to him, shit to the people he’s come to like so much, they’re dissecting another goddamned drow over in the corner, and this woman is sticking poison in his face and telling him to swear to her that he’ll kill himself. He told her fine he’ll take it, but she says that’s not enough, you need to SWEAR to me. You know what? No, he’s not! He refused, she started a fight and attacked us first, and I switched to non-lethal damage and I knocked her out.
This wasn’t just me making a fun decision on my own, like, oh: I have decided on my own, because there’s no game dialogue for this, that my stardew valley farmer is lonesome and feels like an outsider which is why she gets along with Elliott. This is like. Actual things happening within the game that are provoking a legitimate emotional response from me, and I am able to respond to it in a realistic way. When Kagha called me a blessed child of lolth, I had dialogue options to be offended by it.
I am, once again, just absolutely blown away. My friend and me were talking about how we’re both playing “good” characters but how our game experiences still have been so different that we had completely different reactions.
I think that’s absolutely amazing. I can’t remember any game I have ever played ever where I was able to actually get into the roleplaying aspect as much as this, and feel like I was making choices totally based on what my character would do, because this situation was utterly unique to the experience of my friend who is playing the exact same game.
I’ve only really scratched the surface of act 1 here. What the heck else is going to happen by the end?
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morphyandlaya · 4 months ago
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Hey, I don’t know if I did the right thing or not, but, remember how I say, I don’t like dream anymore and I just kind of wake up in weird places nowadays. Well, I woke up in front of my computer again. Well… I woke up about a few minutes ago in front of the computer and I went on out to Tumblr just to look at BG3 art as usual you saw my previous post which I made… Anyways I looked up for my phone and I saw that my computer was open on a YouTube page and I could edit it and so… I don’t have a YouTube channel. I think my brain body does, but I don’t think that’s the channel. Was it bad to edit the description to let the creator know that I got access to their channel and they should change the password? I don’t know I’m a little dizzy.
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mugenloopdalove · 8 months ago
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Didn't you say you listened to bg3 atmosphere videos? those usually help me think about the scenery and plops my brain in where I want to be.
Oh I don't rlly listen much actually bdjfofbr my husband gets rec'd them sometimes bc bee sleeps to that kind of stuff, and they played the video that cane up just the voiced part bc they know I crumble as soon as I hear that stupid voice sjksdbkfr. Also u like. Couldn't rlly hear the video at all aside from the voice acting but that might be bc it's fuckin pouring outside and that's overpowering it.
I could try tho but can't tonight sadly. :( I'd def need headphones for that and my phone is one of those assholes w out a headphone jack. Evil. And I don't have wireless headphones bc I hate them and my current pair is in perfect condition.
We got one of those adapters u can plug into ur charging port that should be here tomorrow!! And I'd actually love to try it then. Good suggestion (I can. Also ask my hubby if there's any they have saved that I'd like since thats their thing. Bees asleep rn)
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