feeling-loved-again-blog

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dealing with people who are spacing out

DON’T: -hit them -yell at them -wave in their face in excess

DO: -say their name once or twice -tap them gently and if they don’t respond, -wait patiently for them to snap back into reality

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Christmas 2k19

This was one of the most isolating christmases I have ever had.

Presents from family had no thought at all. I know presents are hard but people didn’t even try.

I told my aunt about how school isn’t going too great and that I had to change my major, big loom of disappointment and felt ignored. Didn’t get any help or advice. Cool.

Moms side for Christmas Day. The seasonal depression hit because I felt so isolated and didn’t have anyone to talk to or relate to when it came to my family. The only people who talked to me had questions about their health or questions about pharmacy stuff 😪 I’m not working at the moment. I don’t want to talk about work.

This is one of the worse Christmases that I’ve had. I’m trying to be grateful and be holy and be thankful for people thinking about me and getting me gifts but it’s fucking hard when you feel like you’re on your own.

I might just need some me/alone time or just time with people who truly love me and want me around rather than people who tolerate me.

Is that a little too much to ask for? It feels like it.

[feeling-loved-again-blog]

More Bandaids. 10/15/19 - 11 pm

Ended the day with 3 bandaids. Felt sad and down all day.

I hate feeling this weak. Can this stop soon?

School is kicking my ass and I’m scared of actually having a true mental break down and failing.

[feeling-loved-again-blog]

More Bandaids? 10/15/19 - 9am

Woke up still feeling gross. Lets see how this day goes...

Already disappointed a teacher that I have to have an unrelated one on one meeting with later, seems like it is going to be a hard, long day. 

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Bandaid 10/14/19

I have anxiety and times of depression. 

I was not feeling too great last night and to prevent myself from being mean or harming my body, I put on a cute little Toy Story bandaid. I put this on my left side near my bra line in a place that isn’t too uncomfortable. I placed the bandaid a little low but didn’t think anything of it. I just put it on, felt a little better and went to bed. 

When I woke up in the morning, I honestly didn’t feel it at all so I just went on with my day. Changed, went to classes, did my thing. No biggie, right?

I went to band practice and mid practice, I agreed with another student that it was too hot and we took off our shirts to just wear sports bras and march around that way. 

It wasn’t until I was half way through taking my shirt off that I had a small thought about the bandaid but didn’t really care until a third person saw it and asked “is that a sticker?” 

I instantly felt a small pang of nervousness and instantly went into a small defensive mode. “Nah, it’s a bandaid.” “Oh, did you get hurt?” “No, it’s just there as a small reminder to not hurt myself. It’s not scary though!”

The girl who initially saw and the girl I was joining in just marching with sports bras, I wouldn’t really care if it was just them who knew but this was all brought up in front of about 4-5 other band kids. People I don’t exactly want to know that I might be struggling and I’m having a rough time and I’m so down that I have thoughts of self harm. Although all of that is true, I pride myself in being positive and happy around others and being a helping hand when needed. 

I hate being that person screaming for help or attention and being a burden on others. 

I am not usually self conscious about my body while at band but knowing that people noticed my bandaid and that it was visible made me self conscious. I was pulling down my sports bra to cover it and I was feeling around to make sure it was covered and just covering the area in general to make it less noticeable. 

I felt gross and weak and I hated everything about that. I always feel like I need to prove myself to others. I don’t like looking weak. I’m alright with feeling weak but I don’t like letting it show. 

Letting people see my weakness was never my plan. 

[feeling-loved-again-blog]

The time to be happy is now. The place to be happy is here.

Robert G. Ingersoll

[feeling-loved-again-blog]

Purrito supreme

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The love and care of those around you is like a warm fuzzy blanket for your cat burrito, and the love and care from yourself is like the warm pie on top! 💕 Thank you everyone, for your constant love and support. You all are really good people who deserve warm blankets, warm cats, and warm pies.

Pre-order Loading Penguin Hugs | Instagram | Patreon

[feeling-loved-again-blog]

Mood

[feeling-loved-again-blog]

So my boyfriend did a thing.

My boyfriend of over 2 years sent me a game over skype. He said he wants to try and make Pokemon games since I play them so much. I opened it up and was super excited.

It seemed really well done and was super ready to start on my adventure!

He left a lot of cute notes and tips around town.

He remembered my favorite Kanto starter.<3

I was surprised it ran pretty well. I went on my journey and leveled up my Pokemon!

He showed me support and encouragement through a ton of NPC dialogue.

Then as im ending the game I come across this.

;u;

[feeling-loved-again-blog]

Danny is my favorite person in the world. He is such a beautiful human. 

Guys look how happy he is-

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Me without my loveybug

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Tomorrow is hump day in more than one way ﴾ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°﴿

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ᴰᵉᶜᵉᵖᵗᶦᵛᵉ ᴸᶦᵖˢ

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Gotta love yourself

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When you’re daydreaming about kinky shit in public and you suddenly you’re like “what if someone here’s a mind reader!!!”

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