#i think they can match each other's freaks

[cryptocism]

Do you ship BartKon or Timkon or something else? Really, who do you ship Kon with? Maybe I want to hear all your ships

Just say as much as you want really

there's evidence for both my bartkon and timkon affinities on this blog (and the much rarer, most refined of timbarts)

the truth is i like pretty much any ship as long as its got an interesting dynamic to play off of (and usually comedy potential) and kon is a great character because he has an interesting dynamic with basically everybody

the yj crew in general has kind of a perfect blend of defined characters and interesting dynamics that could create all kinds of cool story potential, romantic or not. but vis a vis Romances Specifically..... hold on you've got me thinking about this now im gonna do a thing one sec

ok now that ive successfully pepe silvia'd this

cissie and anita are such perfect foils for each other man.... if yj 98 picked back up where it left off, i think anita's parents should be aged up again pretty quickly, but in the interim i would love to see these two forced into a caretaking duo

anita + slobo, self explanatory. nobody knows whats going on with them except for them and i think that's beautiful. matching each others freak 4ever

i think most of them should have unrequited crushes on each other bc it would be funny namely the slobo>thad>kon clone crush conga line + the kon>bart>tim pining isoceles

greta queen of unrequited pining she is out here stalking she is out here threatening perceived romantic rivals she is ending the world she does it all and not having powers would not stop her

tim dating bernard is canon but i think it would be funny if they're both also into kon (plus ideally steph would lowkey be dating tim too + dating cass but that's batfam shit Whatever)

medium hot take i think kon and cassie should date sometimes bc they're best friends and love each other. just constantly walking the line of platonic/romantic and changing statuses every other month

love cissiecassie but i also think it's funnier if they've never kissed and just thought really hard about it and there was never a right time

cassie + rose self explanatory they should invent new and fucked up ways to murder each other romantically

i also want cassie chronically fumbling a rotating cast of civilian/villain/hero side characters bc she's got that peter parker syndrome where she can pull anybody and everybody but the universe is not on her side when it comes to being a good girlfriend (especially now that dc seems committed to tim no longer fumbling all of his relationships. gang we need a fumbler and cassie is right there)

i realize now i made a chart for romance but the only two i have actually dating is tim/bernard lol. the rest are either unrequited or "it's complicated"

[baocean]

piss off your parents

chapter twenty seven - it was fake

you’d been acting weird ever since sarah all but exploded on you about why jj went awol. you’d barely been over to the house, barely looked at him, barely texted.

he'd freaked you out. he’d hurt you. you werent sure how to react to it.

today was supposed to be good, a group dinner that would smooth everything over, that would make things feel normal again.

he didn’t even let the back door shut behind you before the words were out.

“so that’s it?” jj said, his voice too calm to be anything but dangerous. “hooray, unc. now i’m just… done?”

you froze, fingers still on the doorknob. “what are you talking about?”

he stared at you, eyes sharp, like he was trying to piece you together and nothing was fitting anymore. “your parents gave in. we played our parts perfectly, and now you don’t even look at me.”

you turned slowly, face unreadable. “jj…”

“no, don’t do that,” he snapped. “don’t give me that look like i’m overreacting. like i’m fucking crazy.”

“i’m not—”

“you are,” he cut in. “you’ve been pulling away since the second it worked. you don’t text back, you barely talk to me. you’re acting like i’m something you’re trying to shake off.”

“jj, just...can we not do this right now?” your voice cracked like glass, thin and tight and exhausted.

he laughed, bitter and sharp. “too late. you told me to sell it. said it had to feel real. and i did, yn. i fucking did. i gave you everything i had.”

you flinched. just barely. “that’s not fair,” you said, voice rising, finally matching the heat in his.

“isn’t it?” he shot back. “because it sure as hell feels like i was just part of the plan. and now, i’m nothing but the reminder.”

you crossed your arms, jaw tight. “i never promised you anything.”

jj’s breathing stuttered. you stared at each other, chests rising and falling too fast, like you couldn’t get enough air. anger and fear and want all bleeding into each other, all tangled up beneath your skin.

neither of you spoke. and you so badly wanted him to just say what he was really feeling. but he didnt, he just stared at you.

so you said the worst thing you could think of.

“it was fake, jj.”

his face shifted, like a crack forming right down the middle. like something caved in behind his eyes. but it was only there for a second, before his expression hardened, darkened.

“then what the fuck am i doing here, yn?” his voice was sharp, cutting.

you didn’t answer for a second. you couldn’t. your throat felt like it was closing.

you shrugged, blinking back the tears that would have given you away in a heartbeat.

jj wanted to walk out right now. but he couldnt, wouldnt, he wasn’t ready to let it go, not yet. he was still angry. still hurt. and his best idea was to hurt you right back.

“right. because none of it meant anything to you, huh?” he said, stepping closer. “not the nights you stayed. not the way you looked at me like you meant it. not the kiss.”

“don’t you dare put this all on me,” you shot back, taking a step forward yourself, fire in your eyes. “you’re not the only one who’s been caught up in this, jj. i’m not some heartless person who used you. this isn’t my fault.”

jj’s expression faltered for a moment, but then he snapped, “yeah? feels like it is.”

you ground your teeth, chest tight with anger. “you want to talk about fault? you haven’t even congratulated me on unc, the thing i’ve worked so hard for! you disappeared for twenty hours, and then you came back acting like i’m the one who shut myself off!”

“congrats, bunny." his voice cracked. "you wanted your freedom? to revolt against your parents? your little rebellion before your perfect life at college? well, you’re free. you’re so fucking free.”

“jj—”

“a deal’s a deal, you got your end. we can finally be done now,” he said, his voice cold and rough, like he didn’t recognize it. “go ahead and leave. forget about all this like it never happened. just like you always planned.”

you stared at him, throat burning, chest tight. you wanted to scream. to cry. to tell him he was wrong, to tell him he was right.

instead you said, “fuck you, jj.”

it came out low. furious. shaky. and it made jj's face fall, his body go limp.

you didn’t wait for him to answer, and he didn’t stop you from leaving.

her phone

his phone

her phone

masterlist | next chapter

note from the author - i’m sorry please forgive me

taglist - @dr3amgrlll / @murdockcastleslut / @jjmaybankmylovee / @smokahontas-113 / @abigailovesz / @enchantedstarfish / @reeseswirl / @lmaowhatt / @moonywhisp3rs / @dylsdaily / @idli-dosa / @bloodofadoll / @cokewithcameron / @mariamadison6-blog / @rrosiitas / @always-reading / @sunflouer04 / @bambigirl10 / @mirellef2001 / @wasiasproject t / @bee-43 / @kissesandmartinis / @gublerstylesobrien1238 / @isinpfortvdmen / @sabrina-carpenter-stan-account / @mjwashere / @sideboobrry11 / @ameliacione13 / @wrtzia / @sanriobuny / @dramagodesss / @luvrclub / @yesshewrites1 / @ayy1234567 / @doesnt-care / @rainingcecilias

[muscleloverz69]

New Friends Part 1

Scott was my best friend. It's every girl's dream to have a gay best friend like Scott. He was funny and kind. Guys were never threatened by him either because he was just a 5’5 beanpole. Scott was hanging out with me in my bedroom with my boyfriend Robby. The three of us were enjoying a movie. Scott was on the floor while I was cuddled up with Robby on the bed. 

Robby was a perfect boyfriend, a 6 '5 slab of beautifully sculpted muscle. His arms were larger than Scotts entire leg and his pecs made perfect pillows. He was a quiet guy but had a massive dick to make up for it. He was also very sweet, giving me thoughtful presents constantly. My favorite was a heart locket with strands of his hair in it so we’re always together.  I’ve seen Scott steal a peak at my boyfriend quite a few times but Robby was 100% straight.

Scott looked up at us on the bed “you guys are so lucky to have each other.” 

I smiled back at him. Scott was very single, no gay guy was ever interested in him. I was trying to figure out what to say to him when my bedroom door flung open. It was my brother, Vince. If there was anyone objectively hotter than my boyfriend it was my brother. That might sound fucked up but it was true he had everything Robby had but add in a brooding attitude and manliness Robby can’t compete with. The only problem was he was an asshole who hated me.

“Hey Melissa I see your loser friend is over.”

I rolled my eyes, Scott just sat there quietly, obviously overwhelmed by Vince’s presence before finally opening his mouth “Oh um yeah, hi Vince how are you.”

“You are such a gay freak.” Vince chuckled. “Anyway Melissa I’m here because I decided I’m sick of you always bringing your boyfriend over especially when I need a new best friend.”

I was confused until I saw Vince reveal a book from behind his back. Our family comes from a powerful line of witches and that book is the family spellbook. I realized too late however as with just a few magic words a spell hit Robby right in the face.

“Robby, what did he just do to you!”

 I watched as Robby sat up, his face contorted into a sneer. “It’s Rob bitch, now leave me alone so I can hang with my bro Vince.”

My heart dropped as ‘Rob’ stood up and walked away with Vince. Just like that I had lost my boyfriend.

Over the next few days everything changed for me. Rob was over almost everyday but he was a different person. He now had that same brooding energy as my brother and they did everything together. I would watch them as they came back from the gym, threw a ball around, or harassed Scott. Robby never would have mistreated Scott but Rob seemed to love it just like Vince. The two of them would bring girls home too which really stung. When Rob saw me instead of love in his eyes it was annoyance. I was now just his best friend’s dumb sister instead of his girlfriend. My heart was shattered and all I could think of was revenge.

Rob’s Perspective

“Bro I can’t believe I was ever with your bitch sister. This body was meant to be shared.” Rob flexed one of his massive biceps. 

Vince chuckled, popping his massive pecs in response “Yeah and no more of those pussy sweaters and shit she had you in. Only compression shirts and sweats to show off to the ladies.” 

They were on their way to a club planning a wild night, Robby used to never drink, but Rob pounded beers like it was water.

That wasn’t the only way Rob changed though. His once brown hair had turned blonde just like Vince, his voice dropped an octave to resemble his new friends as well as his muscles swelled to match his bro.

It didn’t take long for Rob and Vince to find Bimbos to hook up with at the club, they took them both to the bathroom excited to drop a load. Both of them entered the handicap stall. Rob took his massive dick out and started to stroke it up and down, hips gyrating as he did. He lowered his pants more just below his ass causing his bubble but to shake a little. He bent his bimbo over and without any foreplay shoved his dick into her. His shaft quickly thrusting as a deep moan rumbled in his throat. Vince had done the same to his girl, grabbing her hair with one hand as he put his muscled torso to good use.

The two bros were so focused on their chicks they didn’t even notice as Melissa entered the bathroom. She had found the family spellbook from where Vince had hidden it and now it was time for her revenge. A spell once cast could not be undone but it can be altered by a new spell.

Rob was close to finishing his ass starting to clench in anticipation. He hardly noticed as the space around him changed. The men in the bathroom were now mostly shirtless, all of them extremely well muscled and attractive. In fact even Rob and Vince’s shirts had vanished. There was also now a suspicious number of men kissing other men. Rob felt his dick get closer and closer as the twink underneath him let out a moan before his load filled up the guy's ass. He pulled out, the boy's ass still leaking. Vince finished too, and they both pulled back on their thongs and went back to the club. 

Rob felt like something was off but couldn’t put his finger on it as he rubbed up against a jock's ass. He looked towards his bro Vince as he watched him get spanked by a very sexy leather daddy. He realized he did find his friend very attractive. Rob possessively walked up to Vince placing a hand on his muscular arm. “Hey, what if we took this back to your place.” 

Vince’s eyes went wide with anticipated pleasure as they left. In the car Rob felt a strange fog in his head before shaking it off, he loved his boyfriend and best bro and was so excited to get home.

The second they entered the house Vince picked up Rob by the ass and pinned him against the wall. Rob wrapped his well defined legs around Vince’s waist as they kissed. Tongues darting back and forth as deep moans were exchanged. Vince lowered Rob down before bending just slightly to Rob’s chest, Vince glanced up predatorily before beginning to lick Rob’s meaty pec settling on his nipple, biting it gently. Rob whimpered, running his hand across Vince’s chiseled face before reaching upward and grabbing his soft blonde hair. Rob with a fistful of Vince’s hair in hand forced Vince onto his knees. Vince lowered Rob’s jock and a thick cock bounced out slapping him in the face. Vince’s tongue ran once down the shaft while his hand gripped the base. His mouth gently began cradling one of Rob’s balls in his mouth causing Rob to exude an uncharacteristically high moan. Vince carefully released him before greedily taking him into his mouth gagging as he did. Rob gripped Vince’s hair tighter as he began to fuck his face. Vince ran his free hand down Rob’s abs as the thrusting increased in pace faster and faster until he pulled back just in time for Rob to splatter Vince’s face.

Both panting hot and sweaty. Neither noticed Melissa watching from the stairs. “Now it's time to get a boyfriend back.”

[putagal]

i was born in the right generation i love the internet and yaoi 🇵🇹🇲🇴

[huginsmemory]

Been thinking about how Bill legitimately had a horrifying reason (the literal progressive disintegration of the nightmare realm that erases whatever it disintegrates from existence completely) to move himself and his crew into a new dimension. Like that's terrifying. And yet he never utilizes this to his favour. He could have been honest about this with Ford, and you KNOW as long as Bill didn't mention plans of overtaking the earth, Ford would've made the portal for him, both out of Ford's own interest and because Ford when faced with these big moral questions will pull through. But this is a card Bill NEVER plays because although he needs to leave the dimension, he cannot lose face. He can't put aside his pride and admit to the humility that he needs to flee from his dimension, that he's not actually all powerful. And so instead he pretends to be a muse and when Ford figures out something else is going on, instead of being open and humble and saying that his dimension is unravelling, Bill focuses on that he's going to over take earth, that he's actually been a monster all along, surprise Ford!

And part of it is definitely because Bill's built himself up on power and violence and to grovel and earnestly ask for help, to admit that he cannot stop the unraveling of his dimension completely invalidates that; showing vulnerability? Can't do that, even under the guise of lying to get his way. And part of it makes you wonder if it's also a form of self-sabotage, because underneath his deep denial Bill is guilty over what he occurred; he sees himself as a monster and so he'll be that monster, and having people recognize that feels good in the same way that pressing a bruise feels good. But it makes you wonder what would've happened if Bill even just was open about his dimension unravelling and had lied about overtaking the earth.

It's also interesting because although Bill has SOME charisma and can manipulate people decently well (as evidenced by his cult, and pandering to people's desires with Ford, Mabel and Blendin), he refuses to be vulnerable, refuses to not be true to his off-putting self, even when if he was just vulnerable of pretended to not be himself, to put aside the (false) pride he has in himself he would've gotten a portal by now. and part of me wonders if it's because it's this false pride that built on insecurity and denial on who he is he cannot drop that mask.

Further thoughts on this!

[laurellala-comics]

A Shakespearean comedy of errors

bonus:

[2deadkat]

Okay as cool as Rhea and Liv or Rhea and Tiffany are…

may I consider:

I’m calling them Ripsky

[gomzdrawfr]

doodle dump of my emo babies

slightly suggestive

been awhile since i do a semi full canvas

[theomencometh]

actually the dynamics between the teen core 4 in cobra kai is insane. what do you mean sam was both miguel and robby's first love and first heartbreak. what do you mean robby and sam are very much their fathers' children and legacies and that comes with a long, complicated history and expectations that no one else could understand. what do you mean tory is cobra kai's most steadfast student but daniel's first two students can't get her out of their head for multiple seasons. what do you mean miguel got the version of robby's dad that he never did. what do you mean robby paralyzed miguel and now they're going to have a shared sibling. what do you mean sam used to have nightmares about tory and now she rescues her in group brawls. what do you mean miguel cheated on tory with sam and tory was so upset that she started an all-out school brawl over it. what do you mean miguel continuously targeted robby's hurt shoulder in their first all valley and now steps in to defend him in fights. what do you mean robby left cobra kai and tory didn't come with him and tory broke her hand punching through stone when sensei kim tried to use him against her. what do you mean sam larusso is the one who actually brought tory into the fold and then they didn't talk to each other for months. what do you mean the four of them had the awkwardest double date ever that ended in them teaming up in a fight against a kid and robby's friend from juvie. what do you mean!!!!!!!

[roots-symphony]

Unpopular opinion maybe, but I don’t really buy into the whole fuckboy agatha/turbo virgin Rio narrative. Like it’s fun to play around with, but I don’t think it’s as canon as some I’ve seen some ppl say. I think it’s just one of like many possible interpretations of what their dynamic could have been, and tbh I think we’re all sleeping on the funniest one. Let me explain:

Agatha fucks now, that’s super obvious but there’s also been like how many centuries between now and when she was younger/met Rio? Agatha grew up during a very puritanical time, in an isolated coven, with an abusive mother, could she have been sneaking and getting action/figuring herself out on the side? Definitely. But I feel like she would’ve been more focused on trying to sneak around and learn magic and (depending on just /how/ isolated the coven was, which the ones we saw her and Nicky go through ranged from super small family to a small-medium community) might have not been either a lot of options and/or the options there were would have been like difficult to do anything about. We don’t know when she meets Rio, but presumably not /too/ long after her attempted execution just based on when Nicky was born, so she definitely in this time could have come to an understanding of herself and her body, especially in regards to how she could use her ~feminine wiles~ to get by with her entire support system gone. But I feel like another way to look at it, is that while she may not have been able to experiment as a teenager, she definitely could have run into some inappropriate books while reading the magic books she also wasn’t allowed to read. That plus just probably the whole way sex and everything was viewed during that time, I feel like she could easily come up with some weird ideas about what sex even is.

And Rio has been around for like ever. Do you know how many humans probably died doing weird sex things?? Rio knows what sex is, but her view of it is probably super skewed. (Also, we don’t see Rio from a point before Agatha which is unfortunate because all her focus after agatha is like… /on/ agatha so we have no way of knowing if she had any curiosity regarding humanity or any of the things she saw. She definitely could have experimented in her long existence, we just don’t know. Which doesn’t really matter to this, I just want to point out that even that is up to interpretation and is based in canon literally just as much as virgin Rio [which is to say not at all])

Anyway I think we’re all missing the funniest way to read this, which is /both/ Agatha and Rio having wildly different and also just wrong ideas about what sex is/how it works, and just trying to figure it out together like the blind leading the blind with all their directions based around colors. Bonus in that Rio could probably say some buckwild shit and Agatha ‘fake it till you make it’ Harkness would probably be like ‘well yes, obviously that’s how you do it’

[kakushusband]

Klavier in AA5: Oh hi it's my old friend Apollo :-) long time no see! How have you been!

Apollo: if you even do so much as look at me again I swear I will end your miserable life in an instant.

[tiredandoptimistic]

Kinda hilarious that the big triumphant climax of Cinderella's Castle includes resurrection for everybody killed during the darkest hour except for the Prince. That bitch stays dead.

[suffarustuffaru]

i,, i think otto x joshua would be a fun dynamic 💚💜

its all over once i have the time to show more otto suwen x joshua juukulius propaganda,, but heres my pitch,,, two guys chilling in the background with seemingly perfect brothers, walking in darkness complexes, families heavily tied to ideals, sharp bitchy tongues hidden underneath soft anxious demeanors, and uhhhhhh obsessive tendencies,,, and on top of that joshuas a painter and otto can draw as well,,,,,,,,,,, 👀👀

anyway heres some art for now !! <3

[godofstupidsentences]

I love my Lorcan Scamander so much, like... he’s a freak, he’s obsessive, he’s a nerd, he loves literature, he’s an misanthrope, he’s a hater, he plays d&d, he loves his brother deeply, he’s the personification of envy, he fell in love with albus and it ruined him forever, he’s a princess, he’s a bad person, he pretends to like black coffee for the aesthetic, he has no idea of how to comfort people, he considers scorpius his nemesis but scorpius barely knows who he is, he forced hogwarts to allow dogs as pets so he could bring his own dog with him, he’s the most likely to kill someone

[vellichorsdesire]

mentioned these guys briefly in January and forgot about posting them so i’m doing it now… it’s an AU with friends i made years ago and blue hydrangeas is in it for funsies :3 they can be a little crazy insane as a treat. i tried to keep the info short but i’m actually very bad at doing that so it’s all under the cut.

the story takes place in a secluded town surrounded by a forest filled with supernatural that are called cryptids, and s/i and f/o are responsible for running the morgue and investigating all the deaths related with the cryptids. more of the deaths recently have been of cryptids themselves though and well. surprise surprise, both of them are actually responsible for those, with a motive in mind despite f/o being a kind of cryptid themself and s/i not really being human, either.

for their dynamic… s/i feels indebted to them for saving his life years ago and quite literally is devoted to them. he would kill for them absolutely!! he acts as their assistant in a way, usually being the one carrying out the murders, and will never complain when ordered to do something. he only saw himself as their pawn of sorts and absolutely does not expect f/o to develop more serious feelings and though yes he’s devoted it doesn’t mean he’s not terrified when the other wants something more. so they find themselves in a queerplatonic relationship with absolutely no relationship experience at all in the first place

i chose a mist like thing covering f/o’s face this time because that’s how people in canon usually see the illusion as they’re trying to come off as human— their face when remembered in their heads seem blurry. s/i knows how they look like though.

[vaguely-concerned]

I feel that during the first coffee date walk through the market, rye has a fraction of a millisecond's kneejerk trauma freakout of '...wait. wait. am I really catching feelings for a rich boy again. with how that went down last time. am I truly that stupid' (once derogatorily referred to quite openly at a party as 'young master anaxas' pet mortalitasi' to which the young master anaxas only grinned and shrugged and STILL you don't break up with his smug controlling ass for good for six more months because you have a desperate bottomless yearning pit where your self respect should go, twice shy lol). and then he actually looks at lucanis standing next to him getting harding spearmint to help with bad dreams and generally being so quietly thoughtful and sweet through the prosaic yet necessary medium of grocery shopping it makes me feel a little unwell to truly contemplate. and rye is like '*the softest fondest eyes anyone has ever turned on anything* ...you know what. I suspect we don't have to worry about that repeating, I think we're probably safe. I am comfortable being this level of stupid. (slowly dawning marital intent even at this stage)'.

(part of the reason rye buys NONE of illario's bullshit at all right from the beginning is that he's basically vaccinated against this exact type of dude after that relationship lol. charming suave guy who in the beginning pays you a lot of lavish attention and takes pains to make you feel special every time you're in a room with him -- but shallowly and mostly, it slowly dawns on you, when there's something he wants from you (and he's often doing it at the expense of someone else, raising you up to put someone else down and you won't believe this... it can turn into a seesaw at a whim. yay). and beneath that there's just a seething pit of resentment and inferiority complexes and bitterness left to fester until he can make it everyone else's problem and that IS going to start to bubble up between the cracks with you too if you stick around for long enough. no thank you been there done that wasted my youth and potential on it and all I got was this lousy shiny set of new emotional intimacy issues haunting me for life! trust me illario I HAVE, as it were, chosen the wrong dellamorte before, which is exactly how I know I didn't this time. go get him lucanis I've got your coffee

hilarious mental image: rye and illario sitting quietly together while everyone else is busy milling about during a cursed dellamorte family dinner (the vibes are so bad. you know the vibes are bad. sitting as still as you can and hoping for calm skies is your best bet without lucanis or teia favourite child privileges to work with) and rye out of the blue gazing thoughtfully into nothing over the edge of his glass with half-lidded eyes to go 'you know. you remind me a lot of my ex. not in a good way' and illario with absolutely no shame and hilariously also something that's the closest he ever gets to real sympathy going 'yeah, I get that a lot'. best talk those two ever had, unironically. their bond leveled up to its final form that day. *soulsborne boss defeated text* MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING REACHED)