#i think theres so much potential here
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reynah is now a victim of watsuki's vocal prowess
this was supposed to be a silly doodle but i played around with the lighting too much
#keyframes fanart#keyframes vn#reynah dioquino#keyframes reynah#keyframes mc#they may be winter but when the opportunity is there they will do it#i think i found myself a crackship#theres so much potential here actually lol#its not helping that the height deference is cute#then there's the pink x black aesthetics#shipping mc with the actual love interests < shipping mc with reynah LMAO#watsuki hamamoto
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hi Emma! Who do you consider your friends do you have a crush on anybody?
" For crushes... "
#ITS SO SO FUNNY HOW MUCH PAIRINGS FIT MELLY? i felt like i needed to draw her as the greed talked about in the bible#AND MELLY POTENTIALLY KNOWING WENDY FOOTE BEFORE THE MANOR? omg... im so excited to see their lore#2022 me would be so sad emmamelly is not bros otp no more#NOT THAT EMMAMELLY IS BAD AND GONE heh.#swaytura on the mind though u feel#idv#identity v#emma woods#identity v gardener#survivor ask blog#idv gardener#ask emma woods#identity v ask blog#mentions:#melly plinius#wendy foote#give her like 20 seconds before she crushes again trust#a moment to talk about ships:#I dont got a defined crush/relationship for Emma! I love all her ships ^^ it's so silly to see other peoples portrayals and hcs#I started off shipping Emma and Melly because of garden scenarios and how they'd share a mutual bond through their nature expertise#Tracy and Emma are one of my OG ships too! super cute! From gears to plants they both have their own parallels to learn from eachother#when I first started this blog I used to talk to this Mun and they started sending me Emma and Naib artworks!#my goodness their excitement was contagious ^^! I hope theyre doing alright.#To that one Kurt/Servais and Emma shipper I see you! the pairings are super calming and I think itd be interesting to explore their past!#Someone posted Lucky x Emma here too and heh.. I totally get you. theyd get into such shenanigans together and they seem sweet!#Then I've been seeing alot of Norton and Emma recently on tiktok! Theres this one artist that draws them in such silly scenarios#But everytime I think about shipping them I get flashbacks to a minecraft server with nortnaib and i feel like damn... betrayal </3#how could i do that to my nortnaib besties#Then when playing with my friend on IDV I noticed they had Mary and Emma room pictures and yknow what? go queen#hcs are very much appreciated :) maybe when i open asks again i'd love to hear everyones thoughts.
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Been playing around with some aus!!! Magical girl aus are good for the soul!!! ALSO! ALSO!! IM ATTENDING NY COMIC CON ON SATURDAY!!! I swear if the 7 train isn't running, im gonna spontaneously combust!!!!!! And now it's time my mandated 100 tags (well 30, actually)
#steven can't curse tbh#just joking#he would definitely say gosh darn it#i love ste in dresses#he deserves to be a pretty princess#also he cant escape flip flops#theyre an integral part of his character#if bro can save the galaxy w flipflops i think a frilly dress wont slow him down#why did i go so hard on the shading??#wanted to convey that pink ste is a living glowstick#i love p!steven and h!steven#all the fics go so hard#this is not a space for stevenc3st shippers#if you ship that please PLEASE keep it to yourself#but like them as brothers!!!#chefs kiss bro#i cant believe theres so few p!ste and h!ste fics on ao3#only 91 total??#and half r ship fics#ive read some great ones broo#like every dynamic#theres just so much potential angst and fluff and hurt/comfort#look at me blabbing down heree#only the real ones read this far down#so heres my confession:#i enjoy chadverse#BUT BUT!! the kind where the C in Chadverse stands for Connie!! and she just has double bfs sometimes#never reached the tag limit before??#steven universe#my art
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Hello! I just discovered your blog and I immediately became captivated by your webcomic, but I'm unsure where to read all of it. I know it's on Webtoons, but I can see it hasn't been updated for a while, and you still post about it.
Are your physical novels just prints of the webcomic? Are they a continuation? Is the story complete? Thanks in advance!
Hi there!
Glad you found me and are enjoying my comic!
It's only on webtoons, and the story is not complete yet! We're 2/3 of the way through right now. It's currently on hiatus, and it's scheduled to come back in about 2 months!
I'll explain why it's been so long if you're curious, but also for my followers who might also be wondering about it under the cut. Sorry, it's pretty much just me complaining haha
I took a month off I took 2 months to get the books printed I took a month to prepare my next comic and I took 2 months to write the rest of the series (I knew the character arcs I wanted, but not the time periods or mysteries!!!) I've been working on actual episodes since then
I had to take some time off because of some pretty extreme burnout due to the sheer amount of work it was to draw over 800 pages and write 6 complete stories in a year and a half... I was getting sick almost weekly due to the overwork, it was really really bad honestly. I was having to work 60+ hours every week just to keep up...
The nature of the comic itself is also difficult... Each of the arcs is a complete, self contained story which can be read (ideally) without context, and my arcs need to be about 10-13 episodes each... And since I have an exact number of episodes to work with, it's even harder.
It takes a ton of planning and a ton of refinement, and working week to week with no breaks I was forced to put out second or even first drafts, so I just wasn't happy with the work I was doing... And to do that for the rest of the series? I wouldn't be proud of the work I did.
Plus... To be entirely honest, webtoon has treated me quite badly IN MY OPINION... They deprioritized me before I launched (I had to beg for more promotion, I'm not exaggerating), they outright denied me the opportunity to even ask for a raise, I don't make any money on fast pass and they pay me less than my partner makes working at trader joes. My first editor left me completely hanging, my second editor (who I loved) was fired... And they told me I wouldn't get a third season before my first season even finished. So it was just repeatedly completely demoralizing.
I'm sorry it has taken so long, it'll have been 10 months by the time I come back. But I realized... I won't get promotion either way. I won't get more episodes either way. I won't get more money either way. So to finish everything, to make it feel good, to make it something I'm proud of, I chose to take longer to make it better.
I am fully aware I will lose a significant amount of my readership for this and it might genuinely affect my career moving forward. But it's what I had to do! So I'm sticking to my guns on it, and I'm confident long term it'll be worth it. It never could have been this good if I didn't take this much time.
#asks#steakandpeanutbuttersandwiches#I'm SO sorry youre new and you asked me such a benign question and I responded with... this... LMAO#I swear to god I tried to make it as short as possible#theres just a lot auauuaghkhgjk#basically. way too much work. not enough money.#so it either is gonna be good and take longer or be worse but come back faster#and I chose to take longer#so.#I'm really sorry and I wish that this decision didn't also come with the... pretty much guarantee that it will negatively impact my career.#I will lose readers. I will lose potential readers for my future work. it looks bad on me as a creator to take such a big break. etc. etc.#but it's good. it's so good. you have to trust me it's like the best stuff Ive ever written#it. ok well to be honest#it'll probably feel extremely simple and extremely natural#but it's been SO much work LMAO#I am not exaggerating I have written over 200 pages of scapped ideas to get to where it is#I'm sure it won't make sense why it took so long while reading but you gotta trust me LMAO#ideally it doesnt even 'feel' different right. cause its gotta be cohesive with the whole thing#but there is SO MUCH TO WRAP UP#THERES SO MUCH#and to make that feel natural in this little space oh my GOD it is so hard#ok omfg I'm doing it again I'm going on way too long again IM SO SORRY#YOURE NEW HERE AND IM DOING THIS IMMEDIATELy#this is like 90% for my followers who I know are curious about this and I'm just using you as a jumping off point to talk about it#cause I don't really like to make standalone posts very often#I likely will make some kind of official announcement about it when the date is extremely set in stone#right now I think it's still only tentatively scheduled so it could still change#and I'll say something more... refined and restrained... then.#but for now this is like. actually everything. I think#I'm sure I forgot something but whatever lmfao
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I've seen a take where you say that Hawks thinks he didn't have a choice and HAD to kill Twice, and you mention in ( ) that he actually DID have a choice and that confuses me.
Hawks gave Twice TWO chances to change and go with Hawks and leave the LOV behind him and change his way of life and when he refused BOTH chances, he posed as a potential (MASSIVE) threat to the hero's, so Hawks had to kill him so he wouldn't risk others lives.
So, with my maybe-not-very-analysed take, why do you think this? Have I missed a crucial part of his character? Did he actually have any other options? And how different would they be then what he ended up doing?
I am assuming you're talking about this paragraph from one of my posts about Hawksš

Now it is true that Hawk's did indeed give Twice two (possibly 3) chances to back down and surrender. The first time it happens is when Hawk's corners twice, with all the feathers pointing at twice, ready to strike him, saying that he shouldn't resist and come calmly. The second time is when Hawk's explains his reasoning for offering twice this chance, and the 3rd is after Hawk's killed the first set of twice clones and reaches out saying that there's a way forward if he comes calmly and that he would personally help twice start over after he gets punished for his crimes.
However, I still think there's an interesting way in how Hawk's approaches Twice. He doesn't choose to position his feathers far away, but he quite literally corners him, almost trapping Twice in one place and offering him one option which is to surrender himself and come quietly or else. Now, while from an incredibly detached prespective this may seem as a mercy option that Twice should be grateful for I think that there needs to be acknowledgement as to how Hawk's own hpsc teachings and hero experiences have shaped him in approaching a situation like this and before Hawk's offers anything to Twice he feels and acts on the urge to be in control to be above Twice in this conversation to make sure that he has more power. All of this is summed up to Hawk's experiences, and we see how this is a flaw because in reality Hawk's is an incredibly fast man he did not need to corner Twice in such a way and essentially give him one option he could have approached the situation differently (yes it doesn't mean that he would have succeeded but there's still a point to be made in the way Hawk's approached the situation from the beginning)



When horikoshi first introduces Hawk's to us in the series, he makes it a very clear point that Hawk's is fast and that he is a powerful hero.
Hawk's is fast in every sense of the word,he is shown to quickly climb up the ranks at an incredible speed becoming the number 3 hero, he is fast enough to stop a criminal without batting an eye, he is fast enough to evacuate everyone from a falling building and to try and stabilise the building. Hawk's is also quick in being able to mentally recognise what's going on and quickly act on it. With the series reinforcing this message consistently it seems weird for Hawk's to not be fast enough to knock twice out instead going for the kill.
Now you can chalk this up to a writing mistake or an ooc moment, but I personally think there is symbolism in it. Hawk's failure concerning the MVA was foreshadowed the moment he came into play and said "I am too late" this to me shows the small downward spiral that Hawk's is then sent to by the narrative. It's essentially tragic that the fastest hero or man was too late or too slow to stop tragedy from occurring. In other words, Hawk's heavily reminds me of minato namikaze from Naruto.

@doodlegirl1998 even points this out




So, how does this link into Hawk's killing twice, you might ask?
Horikoshi establishing that Hawk's main trait is his speed and agility highlights (to me) the ability that Hawk's had to simply knock Twice out and get him out of the area.
Again, this didn't occur due to the tragedy and reoccurring theme of the fastest hero being too late. Hawk's was too late to apprehend Twice, he was too late in escaping from Dabi's flames. He was too late in many things, and it resulted in horrible consequences.
However, while this string of events is played for the tragic irony, it also highlights just how corrupted Hawk's has become by the hpsc teachings and how he at the end of the day is still a bird trapped in a cage both mentally and physically. This is because you can clearly tell throughout that scene that Hawk's doesn't really want to kill twice. He keeps on bringing the fact that Twice is a good man at heart and that he believes that Twice can be redeemed, but after Twice's rejection, he believes that he must kill him saying that he didn't come this far for mere sentiment to trip him up.
However, even with that being said, when fighting Twice Hawk's doesn't aim to kill him. He could have. He had Twice cornered. He could have killed him in one hit but didn't because he couldn't because mere sentiment was indeed tripping him up and he was so clearly trying to justify his actions, trying to be logical but failing. This is further highlighted when Hawk's ends up saving both himself and Twice from Dabi's flames in chapter 266. Hawk's didn't want to kill Twice but after a string of events, he believed that it was the only way to resort to his hpsc teachings.
Personally, I believe the brief fight between them heavily shows Hawk's internal struggle with his own beliefs, his own desires to save as a hero, and actually help all of that clashing with his hpsc teachings and the belief that killing Twice would be easier and safer.
Hawk's ending up killing Twice narratively shows us the failings of the system and could have been great in showing us Hawk's further questioning the system he feels trapped in and straying fat from it as he does end up acknowledging in the final arc that jin was a good man (I think it's symbolic that he calls him by his citizen name and not villain one) and it could build up to him creating a completely different one but alas that fails due to various reasons which are too long for me to list out.

#mha#bnha#mha critical#thanks for the ask#bnha critical#thanks for the ask!#bhna critical#thanks anon#thanks anon!#hawks critical#honestly I like the reading of Hawks vs twice fight having a much more ideological battle between the two and between hawks himself#mha ramble#i hope this made sense tbh#maybe i am a bit deulsional in trying to find meaning to this#honestly i dont think killing Twice was the answer#here i am promoting my hypocrite hawks agenda#internal conflict within a character is so delicious#i need complexity#yes him killing twice is wrong hori literally pushes for it#i am upset that we didnt see him feel more guilt#however#the actions that led him to thinking and fully believing that it was the only way is so good#war arc interaction with toga has him realising that he killed a good man#but the series doesnt touch much upon it#we could have had an interaction with him and lady nagant her pushing him to the idea that killing twice was wrong#so much wasted potential#that being said no twice is not innocent at all but he didnt deserve death#yes twice was going to be punished either way but theres a reason why hori made him the most sympathetic of the league#mha meta
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Im not even sticking around for the drama that stuff gives me heart diseases im just here to see where this guys gonna lead us and to make fun of him if it ends up bad and ignore it if it was good
#That one tweet the good sir made abt comparing the stories (potential) ending to onk's lifted one of my eyebrows now im intrigued#Ive always had issues with it since I started it lmao#its good at making people think unfortunately theres just 1 too many flaws in how it executes it now were here#Like i said if he really wanted this to nail the landing its should've just been a multiple choice video game / visual novel / whatever#Not only will we get to see the other routes we'll have more things to discuss with eachother#and the fandom is less likely to turn into a political argument twitter esque cesspool#Like i understand why a live big audience like this was chosen; The IRREVERSIBLE Community Voting nails the 'This is what you wanted'#idea home; where all participants who are interested are directly put in the chair of Jury & Judge & even though YOUR idea might seem good#not everyone would agree with it#Like its good on paper but seriously it wouldve worked better if it just focussed on 1 guy per viewing like idk disco Elysium or umineko or#any other well known well thought out ''Your actions & thoughts have consequences'' games#Like you put 10 (/11) characters in the spotlight & youre supposed to figure out everyones deal and judge them correctly#but we cant do that when theres 1. only 3 chances to change the direction of their development / get deeper insight#2. They dont even exist outside of the main attraction which are the mvs#3. They can just die unsatisfyingly without any conclusion to their arcs or explanations if the audience fucks it up badly#Like what are you gonna do when this story finishes? Make it a time loop to give the audience another chance to explore their characters?#Umineko no naku koro ni can be downloaded for free through umineko-project.org or purchased through steam or bought physically from a game-#nillas#vanili powder#i love having hatred in my heart I needed something else to make fun of after Mashima ended EZ like that#I can make fun of episode 8 but im too much of a coward to rlly point things out As Of Now so mlgrm going out in flames woukd be fun#im not saying it Should id love it if a miracle can occur and save its issues thats been there since the premise but yea. I dont think so.#anti milgram
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I want the fnaf dbd chapter to be good so bad
#like theres literally no evidence that it wont be good yet at all#but its FNAF.#like dbd is so creative and has majorly been cooking with recent chapters stepping out of their comfort zone#fnaf chapter has so much potential#but im just afraid itll just be springtrap and a nightguard thats it#no cosmetics of other characters besides like og Freddy fazbear or vanessa survivor#even tho dbd usually has 1 female and 1 male survivor and vanessa is a female security guard important to story and she has a FACE#like it just feels like exactly the kind of L we would take#that somehow she wouldnt make it in#like please behavior cook š#give us a vanessa survivor and vanny cosmetic on the springtrap killer and my life is yours#especially because killers have recently been allowed to interact directly with the survivors from their chapter???#like imagine a vanny killer having special lines with a vanessa survivor#fucking peak#the potential is there but you know. its fnaf and im talking about SW era characters here#i have hope but man i hope we get trailers/teasers soon bc im so hesitant to expect all this cool stuff#even tho it genuinely is on track with what dbd does with everything else they do and not wishful thinking#thoughts#pre dbd x fnaf
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that scene with cyn/the solver and uzi at the very end where the solver/cyn is still a part of uzi.... so OSSDID/System coded fr fr.... im going insane abt it. im so autistical abt this
please please PLEASE send me asks abt this i am so eager to talk to ppl abt it
(rambles in tags)
#murder drones#murder drones ep 8#murder drones spoilers#md ep 8 spoilers#have i literally ever posted abt md on here i fucking LOVE md. me specifically as an alter especially it is my fave show <3#i want to BE cyn fr fr. shes soooo gender envy#0ph3li4.txt#i would word my thoughts more but even tho im a system myself im SOOOO fucking scared other systems will say 'wtf are u on abt'#but like#i dont think uzi's experience is a 1.1 paralell with being a system obv but i think functionally itd be v similar (to my experiences)#the previous hosts of the solver. cyn included. are not alters per se. i dont think uzi would use that term for them anywayz. but they are-#part of uzi and her 'brain' and whatnot. yk?#kind of like a new host taking over#so like#cyn /solver might be the main one uzi has to deal with#but i feel like theres potential that she could deal with the other hosts too.#do you think original cyn is in there at all?#ugh im gonna get so much flack for using the wrong term so lemme just start I KNOW INTEGRATION AND FUSION OR WHATEVER ARE DIFFERENT!!#that being said#i prefer the term integration to fusion. so.#in this scenario / au whatever i like to imagine original cyn is integrated with another part. most likely solver itself.#and in our experience with alters integating (not universal!!). some of their traits/mannerisms wear off on that part! so solver probably-#gained some of original cyn's personality traits / mannerims. but is still its own person.#tessa could also be part of the 'system' even tho she wasnt a host per se#idk#im yappin#please send asks abt this i will ramble forever and ever
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AAAAA like honestly I really donāt care for tsugemina but I know they have a decent sized jp fanbase so I get the vol 12 sacrifice once againš but kurodachi as parents my God naina⦠I can see it so clearly like in my dream theyād be the sweetest most loving parents ever like in my dream it was weird cause it was little snippets? But I can just see it⦠adachi falling asleep with their baby girl already far into dreamland on his chest and kurosawa using every molecule of strength in his body not to start crying (53636 burst shots were taken), kurosawa buying matching pyjamas for all three of them (cherry print Iām sorry Iām a weak, weak personā¦), that classic moment of them laying together in bed ready to sleep, wedding photos framed prettily on the bedside, when all of a sudden the baby starts crying and they both make a move to get up but then one of them stops the other with a gentle hand with the āIāve got it, rest yourselfā line oh Iām insane. Positively INSANE
ANON DO U HAVE ANY IDEA . HOW SEVERELY THIS ASK CHANGED MY BRAIN CHEMISTRY.??? ive been thinking about ur scenarios all Day. i started thinking of whole ideas and hcs and everything head in hands i never knew krdc being parents could be this powerful...... im choosing to believe ur dreams are prophetic bc i need this to happen in canon so badly its not even funny . brb i need to send sensei a very tearful request letter
anyway thank u so much for this ask i drew u some la kurodadchi in return after taking some inspiration pls enjoy .......
#cherry magic#my art#my answer#IM THINKING SO MUCH IM GOING GALAXY BRAIN MODE!!!!!!!#likes theres already potential for a whole chara arc here im seeing it . my vision is Crystal Clear#smth smth adachi being good w kids on account of him being an older brother + just liking kids in general#meanwhile kurosawa doesnt like Hate kids or anything but he has no idea how to deal with them . also hes terrified of being a dad#going into hc territory here but i think a lot of kurosawas issues come from his moms expectations and anxieties abt his life#and he absolute Cannot deal with possibly turning out to be the same exact kind of parent . hence not wanting to be a dad at first#but after talking it through maybe he could see that he can actively work to be a better kind of parent and change his mind ......... Hehe#gonna be thinking abt this for the entire month now pls excuse me
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saw you had kingfrinned thoughts. have any you'd like to share? (they were very good from what i've seen so far.)

im glad u like em and OH BOY DO I! most of them are just Ideas and Concepts that i receive like the oracle of an angry god so theyre not quite Postable yet but rest assured i am thinking about them an abnormal and strange amount. a genuine hateship can be so personal <3 rest assured i will Keep Posting soldier šš½
#theres so much potential. tbh i think the fact that it has almost no Content just shows that the fandom is Smaller Than My Usual#bc theres no way we're the only bigbrained ones here. take my hand. we can spread the rot#kingedfrin anon#u get ur own tag as we have a warriors bond#another hot ask from someone!#kingedfrin
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High Priestess, Hermit, Temperance, Devil, and Sun
FINALLY answering these im so sorry lmao
High priestess: Which does Rook obey more, their head or their heart?
Ithelanas is pretty well balanced by the time the events of Veilguard roll around, but it took a LONG time for him to mellow out like that. When he first started with the Inquisition, he was in the habit of ignoring his feelings (his heart) in favor of "logic" or following orders (his head). It wasnt that he never did things impulsively or followed his own path, its just that he agonized about it for weeks, and made himself and everyone around him miserable in the process. Meeting and falling in love with Revasulahn (my inquisitor), helped start him on unlearning that habit. Letting go of the FOMO/regret cycle he was so prone to definitely saved him a lot of grief during the regret prison quest sequence in Veilguard.
This got LONG so the rest are under the cut!
Hermit: When Rook is alone with their thoughts, what do they think about? Is solitude a blessing or a curse for them?
Lanas is quite the introvert, and tends to do best when he has lots of time to himself for introspection. He daydreams a lot, and mulls over conflicts/problems he needs to solve (sometimes obsessively). Hes very inventive and is fascinated by enchantments/complex magic, so if theres nothing to worry over hes thinking about nerdy stuff. Solitude in moderation is a blessing. That said, he's also prone to feeling lonely, so having people that care about him around to force him to socialize every now and then is imperative. Give him his space, but pop in and irritate him sometimes to remind him hes loved lol.
Temperance: What does Rook do to deal with the stress of their situation?
Aforementioned alone time for introspection is how Lanas best handles stress. Giving him space to decompress and think things over is better for him than reassurance in most cases. If he's stressed enough to ask for help from those he trusts, talking things over won't do anything but upset him more. Distracting him until hes relaxed enough to go be alone with his thoughts for a bit is the best course of action. Suli's default "calm Lanas down" plan is giving him chocolate, sex, and drawing him a nice bath with candles and fancy herbs and salts and whatever else he wants. It turns into the "doing whatever my hot witch wife wants" meme every time. Whats the fun in marrying a mage if you dont indulge their funky rituals every now and then to help them relax?
Devil: What type of demon is most likely to target Rook? Why?
Despair demon! Lanas is depressed. By the time Veilguard happens, hes got it pretty well under control, but he had a rough go of it when he was younger. Spending your teens and 20s passively suicidal doesn't resolve itself with no lasting effects. Fear hes had mastered since childhood, you can't scare a man that thinks things cant get worse. Despair is the opposite. It tells him he'll never get better, that the world won't change, and that hes doomed to repeat the cycles hes trying to break. Nothing to lose vs wasted potential. If you'd thrown him in the regret prison a decade earlier, he wouldn't have escaped. Hes had a long time to heal and learn better coping skills. He has hope now (and the inquisitor) to see him through it.
Sun: What is Rook passionate about? How do they fuel that passion?
Lanas is most passionate about learning and teaching. This one was hard to answer but most of the other more specific thoughts I had can be boiled down to the pursuit of knowledge (magical research, reading, adventure) and the distribution of it (loves infodumping about his interests, journaling/archiving while he was with the inquisition, mentoring apprentice mages while staying with clan Lavellan between Inquisition and Veilguard. He'd tell you he doesn't have favorite apprentices but thats a lie. Suli's nephew, Fennas, is a teachers pet and definitely the favorite (hes 19 at the start of Veilguard and ive got an au where i made him my rook instead. If i were more of a fan of the teenager saves the world trope id make that my canon worldstate but im gonna let Fen be a kid and have his 40 something mentor do it instead))
#tumblr ate them for awhile and then i didnt have spoons to write for a hot minute when they showed back up#so here they are now!#thank you for asking about my guy! i love him so much#theres more of these coming but this one was the longest so i started there#ithelanas not lavellan#oc lore#i gotta get over the mortifying ordeal of being known and post about the au where fen is my rook bc its got a lot of hilarious potential#āhello inquisitor who is definitely not my uncle and ive never met before.ā#āmy name is Rook and NOT something that could be interpreted as an unfortunate nod to the trickster deity im trying to stopā#the whole start of the game is just all the inquisition contacts giving Fen the craziest side eye#and then turning around and writing to the inquisitor to snitch on him#Makes all the good luck and coincidences way funnier if its just Rook being babysat by everyone that recognized a family resemblance#that conversation with harding about the inquisitor is so much better that way#āyou been talkin shit behind my back?ā āNO ROOK DEFINITELY NOT I BARELY EVEN KNEW THE INQUISITORā āliarā#hes a Davrin romance in game but ive been toying with the idea of shipping him with Kieran. i think he and fen would be adorable together
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there's not anything from the beginning of the cyberpunk au that is ready to share (too many holes and fill-ins and such that i don't feel like correcting rn) so instead here's three takes of a particular breakdown scene from the second act that is. uh. hopefully far, far enough away from being published that this part fades from everyone's minds by then :) but if not, no context is a killer
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Ace moves back into the room he and Sabo had formerly occupied alone. Heās not sure how to take that at first, and seeing the lack of Saboās belongings spread around the shared space hits like a punch to the gut. But after a spell, he resolves to give Sabo some space. Heāll come around when heās ready, Ace tells himself. All Ace has to do is be patient.
It quickly becomes painfully obvious that things are not that simple.
Sabo starts avoiding him, little by little. At first itās almost unnoticeable. Heāll stiffen in Aceās hold, then shy away from Aceās touch, then casually move to avoid it altogether. Theyāll be in the same room, in the same space, and yet it suddenly feels like Sabo is worlds away.Ā
Itās such a sharp contrast compared to how they were when Ace was first recovered. Where Sabo would cling to him with pain in his eyes, unwilling to let Ace out of sight for any reason. Now heās so reluctant to initiate any sort of contact at all, and when itās just the two of them, no matter the situation, Sabo finds an excuse to be somewhere else.
Ace thought, given time, Sabo would move back in with him. That the room he was staying in now would be temporary the longer he adjusted to Ace being back. But it turns out to be the opposite. The more time goes on, the less he sees of Sabo in general.Ā
With help, Ace manages to confront Sabo before heās confined himself in his office for the day. Itās tense and awkward where it doesnāt need to be, should never need to be. Sabo doesnāt have any reasons for his recent behavior that heās willing to give to Ace. So Ace starts offering his own, wanting to finally get to the bottom of this.
He hits rock bottom with his final guess, convincing himself that no matter how Sabo answers, heāll accept it. But Sabo surprises him again, head shooting up to look at Ace with wide, scared eyes, one hand outstretched in Aceās direction.
āOf course Iāā Sabo stops, his voice failing him, and turns his head sharply to choke on the sob stuck in his throat. Ace steps forward, dropping to his knees to kneel at Saboās side, and risks grabbing Sabo by the shoulders so heāll finally look at Ace.
Saboās teeth are gritted tight. There are tears in the corners of his eyes, and after a moment, he blinks harsh and two wet trails run down his cheeks. āMaybe thatās the problem,ā he whispers, and Aceās heart stops thudding in his chest.
Sabo continues, oblivious to Aceās condition. āIf I didnāt love you anymore, maybe this would be easier. Maybe it would stop hurting all the time.ā He glances over and ends up holding Aceās gaze, sincerity blooming in his own eyes in a way that physically pains Ace, when coupled with the words he says. āItās so empty,ā Sabo confesses, reaching up to grab at his heart. āIt has been ever since you dāā He shakes his head. āAnd now that youāre back, I canāt even feel happy about it. It aches, Ace. Itās indescribable, and you donāt even feel it!ā
Sabo leans back, out of his hold, almost toppling from the chair. āYou left me!
[Take 2.]
Itās hard not to notice all the changes, but at first, especially in the beginning, itās easy to ignore them.
Sabo clings to Ace in such an unnatural way. He has a new room now, because none of his belongings remain in the room he and Ace had shared. But it would be hard to tell otherwise, because Ace is there, and Sabo occupies the space as if he had never left.Ā
Itās different from before, like when Sabo had first moved in with him. Ace still remembers it well. Sabo being in here all the time, even when Ace was not. Sleeping in the same bed more days out of the week than in his own room, and then casually borrowing items from Ace until he began to leave space for his own. At first it was clothes for the next day in an empty drawer Ace never had the need to fill. Then various hygiene products taking up space in the en-suite bathroom one by one. Sabo brings a bag filled with various things that never end up leaving, and by the end of a particularly draining week, when theyāre both back here, too exhausted to even make it to the bed, Sabo softly admits that there was nothing he needed to grab from his own room to make it through the next day.
And Ace just. Follows that. Really easily, the āwhy donāt you just move in?ā spills from his lips, because it seems like the correct response to have. It would keep Sabo from worrying about missing something, because everything will be in one place once more. He and Sabo will be in one place, really, wholeheartedly.
Thereās not even much left, but the next day, Ace helps Sabo carry the remaining items over. And that was it. Simple. Easy. Natural, even.
Not like this.
Something is wrong. Something is terribly wrong, but Ace is too afraid to ask. He canāt quite put his finger on it, either, and yet he knows.Ā
It wouldnāt be too far off to say Sabo is scared, but of what Ace isnāt certain. Losing him again? That would explain a lot, but it would only explain the things he could outright see. Sabo clinging to him tightly, unable to let go. Unwilling to be apart, and yet.
All of his belongings remain in his other room. Completely separated.Ā
Ace has never even seen it, but he knows it has to exist. Sabo is so frantic, so on edge, and Ace thinks, at first, that Sabo is bracing himself. Not willing to give himself the chance to get attached, in case something else happens.
Itās a good theory, but Ace knows, instinctively, that itās incorrect. Thereās another reason, has to be, and he just hasnāt stumbled upon the right pieces to put it together yet.
Itās colder, too.Ā
Ace can feel it at night, gripping Saboās frozen fingers and wishing he had the power to warm them up. His body heat isnāt unnaturally high, though, and thatās all he has. All he can do is cup Saboās hands in his own and hope the chill doesnāt spread to him as well.Ā
And thatās not the only thing thatās missing.
For all the trouble it was worth, Ace canāt help but feel a tinge of regret that their soul bond was no longer. Itās definitely an adjustment. Ace will do something too hard, too rough, and then instinctively look over his shoulder to apologize only to find Sabo hasnāt felt a thing.
But he notices. How Sabo tenses, like he should be feeling a reaction and is lost when he doesnāt. Itās subtle, but Ace starts watching closer so he can see when Sabo acts out of turn. An action thatās too forceful, or a misstep, or something he can get away with while in Aceās line of sight that should send a twinge of pain coursing through him.
It never does. Sabo always looks so unhappy about it. Like heās testing their bond, like he wants Ace to have a reaction, to feel what heās feeling.
Ace doesnāt understand why it matters so much until Sabo starts pulling away. Subtly, at first. Little things Ace shouldnāt notice, but he does.Ā
[Take 3??]
āYou donāt have a soul bond anymore,ā Sabo mutters, so distraught and defeated, head drooped low. Aceās lips open, a counter on his tongue, a reassurance, a promise. Sabo doesnāt give him the chance, continuing, words dripping from his lips like acid. āBut I do. Itās still there. It hasnāt gone away. You came back, and still, nothing has changed.āĀ
He stops to breathe, ragged, in and out. Then his teeth clench and he lifts his head just to the point where he can gaze up at Ace through his bangs. āItās still broken. It wonāt go away. Iāā Heās cut off by a sob tearing through his throat, and when he blinks, tears leave his eyes.Ā
Ace, panicked, crouches down to eye-level. He reaches out, slowly, both hands up, but it doesnāt even matter. Sabo still flinches back violently, eyeing him warily. He realizes his actions right after they happen, biting down on his lip, eyes blown wide.Ā
A second later, Sabo is out of his chair, collapsed fully in Aceās outstretched arms, clinging to his form. Aceās knees drop so he doesnāt overbalance, and he grips tight, drawing Sabo in.Ā
āIt feels so empty,ā Sabo confesses, voice warbled from tears that drip down the back of Aceās neck. āSo lonely. Youāre right here and yet my heart doesnāt know. It canāt find you, Ace. This doesnāt even feel real right now.Ā
"And I donāt know what to do. I donāt know how to stop feeling like this. And Iām sorry, sorry that I keep pushing you away, but! Itās so much easier than having you in my arms with my soul telling me that you died, that you left and took half of me with you, and the other half is so inconsolable about it. It doesnāt understand, it keeps telling me to find you, to join you again, but I have so much work left to do here. I canāt leave. Not with Dragon dead. Not with you alive, still, because if I die and my soul canāt find you even in the afterlife? It will kill me, Ace, for good. Itās killing me now. And you donātāā
He chokes and stops, working through a set of shaky, shallow breaths that Ace coaxes him through, running a comforting hand down his back and up again, over and over.Ā
Ace sits and tugs Sabo down onto his lap, bringing them both into a more comfortable position.Ā
āI donāt even feel it,ā Ace finishes, voice quiet, barely there. āRight? The remains of our soul bond are tearing you apart, and here I am, free from it in death.ā That would explain all of Saboās peculiarities as of late. Heās been trying to get Ace to feel, like before. Working himself up over it and then falling apart when Ace doesnāt react. He wants their bond back so bad that heās been so reckless, and Ace didnāt even notice.
#saboace#op#writing#idk idk this is another au w a legit title in my head#but ive been calling it the cyberpunk au on here bc spoilers#tbh i started notes for this fic in 2021 i think??? its nowhere near being done#i should start rambling abt it on here more bc i love it n theres so much untouched potential#probably literal years away from being ready to post anywhere online tbh#but!! here is this ig for now
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Was reminded how much I fucking love Unpacking
Wish I could wipe my mind and replay it completely blind again
#like discovering where the diploma goes at her boyfriends? oooohhhhh sooo good#would love to have that again#i can replay it and potentially notice new things which is fun#but i feel like i spent a lot of time every level thinking through it and when i finished i spent some time#on reddit and youtube seeing the couple things i hadnt#would love if they had dlc or a new game or something idk#its soo good yall#if youre reading my tags and havent played and potentially dont even know about the game#id HIGHLY recommend it#its an incredibly chill mild puzzle game with incredible story that happens as you unpack a person into new places spanning decades of alif#theres no proper dialog just a comment here and there at the end of levels but the items hold so much story in them
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Some1 voicing interest on Libero a Due.....š„ŗ
#speculation nation#ladue shit#ive been very occupied with itnl but i still do have the 18k words WIP for ladue chapter 3#and i. should finish that up to post it. at some point.#i think i really should decide whether theres any chance of actually continuing it after chapter 3#bc it's a reasonable conclusion to the thing. conclusion to the arc at the very least#but i also had so much more in mind for its future.#but im not even working on discacc rn man i have NO idea how long it would take for a potential 4th chapter of ladue...#so do i wanna keep it open on the off chance ill pick it back up eventually? or be honest with myself and call it here?#either way ive been sitting on 18k words for about half a year now#and i think they should be posted before Too long...#i gotta remember wtf i was doing with it lol. i had only a tiny lil bit left to write too...#aaaagh life is so hard. why must i be a chronic longfic writer. too many things i want to focus on. so little time and energy...
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thank you for the long & thought out response. while i do fully agree with you on stances like prison abolition & the myth of the stranger pedophile scapegoat, my question and discomfort with jimmyās actions comes not so much from a political/philosophical standpoint but from a very human emphatic one. i put myself in the shoes of the girl he groomed and abused and imagine people listening to and enjoying the music of my abuser and it makes me sick to my stomach. so thats more where my guilt and discomfort comes from. that said i canāt say that their music doesnāt have an impact or isnāt enjoyable. i also agree with you that this mass outrage and very public renunciation and demand for punishment is very much a social mechanism and automatic reaction that quite simplifies a complex situation. however these mechanisms exist for a certain evolutionary purpose after all (sorry my background is psychology) but thats sort of besides the point because im also not a fan of how these things get handled with zero nuance.Ā
its also true what you said that me or you or anyone deciding to disengage with this band or their music changes nothing in the grand scheme of things, so doing it as some sort of Noble Cause against abuse is useless. so in this case i feel itās up to personal preference and whether or not i can swallow the cognitive dissonance and discomfort this information arises in me whenever i listen to their music from now on.Ā
thanks again for the insightful response, iām glad we can have this sort of discussion because i also think this topic is extremely important but people often shy away from it because itās so heavy.Ā
im glad you asked me to share! like i said ive spent a lot of time thinking abt this specifically so its very much like years worth of mishmash thoughts kinda strung together only by me experiencing them over time in succession lol. but i agree its important to talk about it especially within a culture so ensnared in the logic of the prison and particularly how effectively thats been exported into like 'mob justice' for lack of a better word.
re: the emotive aspect im not sure i have much to say other than like Yeah its a very strong one and i dont think its a bad thing at all to have. i got the impression from ur ask--and idk how true this is--that you were wrestling between a desire to return to the music bc you enjoyed it and that response preventing you and feeling a sort of obligation to do one over the other n struggling with that. so i think i approached it as like 'heres ways you can reason w that emotional response and grapple w it if its smth ur agonizing over' or something like that. im also a firm believer in the ways politics shapes the ways we think n feel so my instinct was to tease out some of the structures that may be shaping ur thought processes--which of course i nor anyone but you can fully know. but i dont get that same sense from how u describe it here and either way i think whatever feeling ur having about it is like...i dont want to say its 'valid' but ur allowed to have that and do whatever you want pretty much lol. i cant and am not going to force anyone to engage w the band and theres probably more reasons than i could think to list why its not for everyone even without the sordidness of abuse hanging over it.
without getting into a much much broader discussion i would gently push back on the idea of a biologically innate reason for the existence of carceral/punitive logics (and frankly psychology more broadly), if only bc it does a lot of the work of justifying them. keep in mind that these are concepts ideas and patterns of thought that exist because they serve systems of power and particularly the state. we did not have to have a society which created them, we only happen to--which is to say theyre not innate in this way and i disagree that they have an 'evolutionary' purpose bc it fails to properly historicize them. but thats me coming from an antipsych position lol
#asks#frankly for me its like....sometimes we do feel that emotional reaction n sometimes we dont#and im interested in where the difference is or where the line is drawn#some things are considered 'too big to fail' theres plenty of other much more influential musicians that have equal or worse allegations#but nowhere near the same response#and part of this is just 'size' its much more effective to do this to a smaller artist n a smaller community than like potential millions#of say michael jackson fans right. so part of this for me is yeah why does jimmy urine make ppl feel so strongly#and again part of it is 'size' msi is smaller its like 'cult classic' music for lack of a better word and its obviously evidently queer#so u can weaponize that extant fear of queer ppl and within the queer community of people fearing us#thats not to like diagnose that as something going on w u just that like....the emotional response itself is politically complicated#is what im going for here#so sorry i gave u a bunch a lot of stuff that may not have had anything to do with how ur feeling . i was thinking about other shit#im glad u appreciated though lol!
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