#i think there’s nothing particularly groundbreaking about it - other than it’s nice to have no romance! yay!

[aroaessidhe]

2022 reads // twitter thread      

The Life Giver

YA stand-alone high fantasy in a dystopian underground city

a scribe who records prophecies from his dreamer, who talks to the sun (their god) each night

the dreamers are being picked off one by one by something dangerous and unexplained in the dreams

no romance

[brandileigh2003]

Ok so I've just read all of your posts on Remus Lupin HCs, please allow me to rant into your inbox (kindly, I promise).

I think I completely agree with almost all your hcs here. My absolute favourite being Remus not being able to dance but doing it for Sirius anyway. Because yes!! They are so dedicated to one another, and absolutely remus may not be conventionally attractive, but Sirius sees nothing but the most beautiful man when he looks at him (and vice versa, though it probably goes without saying)

Also, I would like to add my personal favourite: He is the messiest marauder. His work is meticulous, so when he's researching something or fixated on a project he is a stickler for the details, but then he just throws his clothes everywhere when he goes to bed at night.

I adore fics with chronic illness Remus, and the rep is so important. That said, I do find it really fun to explore AUs where he's not afflicted with lycanthropy or analogous illness and the affect that would have on his confidence, his social demeanour etc. (not at all to say you can't be confident and happy with a chronic illness, more that I think it affects Remus strongly, especially because he has a tendency to compare himself to his friends who he's occasionally guilty on putting on a bit of a pedestal, and most especially as a werewolf where he views himself unworthy/monstrous).

But also sorry, I wanted to pile on with the flaws (not because I disagree that he is perfect, but actually I think you've nailed all the positives):

I think that he can occasionally be a bit preachy/know-it-all (not in an ill-meaning way where he's looking down on his friends, but that he feels he's the more responsible/mature one even if it's not always the case) and a bit of a martyr (suffer in silence even to the frustration of his friends who just want to take care of him).

And (to elaborate on one of your points) whereas Sirius will lash out to a fault when he is angry, on the rare occasion Remus is angry at someone other than himself or the world, he will shut it all up and refuse to communicate. Particularly as a teenager before he's developed healthy coping, I can see him doing this almost to a point of toxicity because he doesn't want people to realise that side of him - especially in universes where he is a werewolf. And in the more angsty AUs (though I much prefer all the fluff when it comes to wolfstar) this can be what drives them apart. But let's not think about that.

I won't say I identify most with Remus, because one thing I love about the marauders is that I identify a little with each of them, but I'm absolutely with you on the social anxiety (this is my first time writing someone an ask, and the thought of sending it is absolutely terrifying).

Probably nothing I've said here is very original or groundbreaking, but I enjoyed your hcs so much and then the rant came on. Also, sorry if this comes off as me trying to convince you of anything - I promise I'm not. I'm a very firm believer in 'to each their own', especially when it comes to fictional characters. I also wanted to reiterate something so important you said, and I agree with 100%, which is that good writing can get me on board with almost any characterisation. One of my absolute favourite things about the marauders fandom is where you have all these different hcs floating around and yet they're all so recognisable as the marauders. At his core, regardless of his characterisation, Remus is Remus and we love him for that.

Anyway, nice to rant to you and meet you, in that order. Pls feel free to ignore and delete this from your inbox when you get a moment :)

Hi! Good to meet you. And talking about Remus is one of my love languages so I was glad to see this and the time you spent reading all of my rambling.

I love it when it's discussion like this or that reddit thread bc it's not how I've seen it where it's basically... "My opinion is the only one that matters." Bc it's a huge sandbox and I love the kind conversations like this. And didn't see it as trying to change my mind or anything just adding other great points.

And I'm glad you sent this. I promise, I'm not scary, I love interaction. But I totally get the anxiety. I usually either can't say anything or can't shut up. Working on it, lol.

Bc yes! It's the beauty of fandom that we see this same character and put him in so many different situations and then taking different aspects of personality and either latching on to one aspect, or exploring how things can be different when something shifts. Whenever it be taking out of magical world or like you said authors exploring what remus is like with out any kind of disability or chronic illness.

I think that is a hill I cling to and literally search the AO3 tags for bc it's something that I see in myself bc I've always had different physical challenges. Thats one of main factors that kept me into fandom and drew me to like his character before I ever read fanfic. So I write him that way always. And I search for fics that explore it.

But that said-- a lot on my favorites and rec lists don't feature it.

It's all a preference thing. Of what people search for and crave in a story.

And I like what you said about seeing a bit of myself in all of the marauders. Bc I love exploring and seeing myself in Sirius with mental illness but I guess that can also come back around to remus bc I think that's something they saw in each other and bonded over.

Bc while I think that the friendship between sirius and James is really powerful, and he tells him everything, there's just something about connecting with someone who gets complicated family dynamics even though they look very different, and the results of childhood trauma, etc. and ofc there's more to wolfstar friendship and relationship but I think that is part of it.

Anyways. That didn't go quite where I thought it would but. Such is me on Tumblr lol.

To your hc about him being messy outside of schoolwork, can totally see that

And absolutely, I agree. The man is far from perfect. I didn't go into that quite as much.

But totally makes sense about being know it all sometimes or thinking most nature when not the case all the time .. and I think that can come back to his wanting to be in control issues? Maybe a certain rigidity?

And martyr complex? Absolutely! Him feeling like a burden is something I like to explore and whether it's a physical or monetary thing. I think he's a mix of prideful, stubborn and feeling of being too much.

Love the point about the differences in how him and Sirius can express the anger and how it can lead to miscommunication or hurt and often does. But at the end of the day, I love it when they both work on themselves but still love the other even if it doesn't change. Figuring out how to help each other but yeah. Quite a few on my favorites list do have them divorced or separated for awhile bc those type issues

And it's really late ... So. I probably repeated myself from some of these 4 posts lol. But. Yes.

I hope it didn't seem like I was negating any points, I completely can see yours and maybe just running with it... Like the why's behind.

Feel free to message me anytime whether asks my dm or I can send you a link to one of the discord servers I'm in.

[beauty-and-passion]

Sanremo 2024: the songs made me do it

aka: Don’t tell me this will become a new format

There is a sad truth I have to share with you all: I don’t watch Sanremo. I know it’s unhinged and funny and every year there is a new debate about something stupid and a lot of homoerotic tension everywhere. But I don’t have the strength to stay awake until 3am, waiting for all songs and listening to covers and watching 200 interludes until morning. I am getting old, I can’t stay awake that long anymore XD

But my father and my brother both watch Sanremo and, since this year has been particularly appreciated and followed by a ton of people, they decided I had to listen to some of the songs.

So I listened to some of them, especially the top 5. And wow, they are better than I thought. It’s been quite some time since I followed some Italian music and it looks like a lot of things improved in the meantime.

Hence why I decided to give a try to all the 30 songs of this year’s competition. It was worth it: there are definitely some interesting ones. And a few artists made me re-evaluate my opinion about “veteran” singers too.

But while I was listening to all of this, I was also thinking: man, it’s a shame the rest of the world will never know about them. Some are forgettable, fine, but some are good. They deserve a chance to be heard and appreciated.

And this is when a dangerous idea popped into my mind: what if, instead of listening to all of these songs by myself, I share my opinion about them in a post? It would be a bit like my yearly “first impression post” about the Eurovision songs, only applied to Sanremo’s songs.

And hey, maybe this will become a new format. A sort of anticipation of every year’s Eurovision. After all, Sanremo came before Eurovision, so it would make sense, in a way, to talk about Sanremo first.

But that’s up to you. If you think it would be fun, if you’re interested in listening to more Italian songs, or even if you just want to read more of me rambling about stuff, let me know and I will gladly provide it.

______________________________

The overall impression

It’s quite positive. Sure, it could be because I’m Italian and I’m biased, but I swear I’m doing my best to be as objective as possible.

Also, an overall positive impression doesn’t mean all songs are bangers. They are just generally “good”. You can listen to them once or twice, but they’re not a new, groundbreaking experience: they are just okay. And you will read these words again regarding a lot of the songs on this list.

Speaking of the songs themselves, HERE you can find the full playlist.

Please notice that the order of the songs is the same as the final chart. So, since I do not want to spoil you the winner immediately, I will go in reverse order, starting from the last song up to the first. Don’t worry, there is some interesting stuff in the middle, we won’t get bored ;)

As always, this is my opinion, yadda yadda. If you disagree, good for you. We’re just talking about songs after all.

______________________________

Fred De Palma - IL CIELO NON CI VUOLE

I have no idea who this guy is and the song is acceptable: nothing too groundbreaking, nothing too bad. It’s just a typical dance song.

However, I would still keep an eye on him, because there’s this long tradition of singers who got last place, but ended up having incredibly long careers and becoming way more famous than the winners.

So who knows? Maybe Fred De Palma will be the next on the list.

Vote: maybe he will improve and become famous

__________

sangiovanni - finiscimi

Another very normal, very typical dance song. I listened to it twice, but I don’t remember a single thing. Next.

Vote: forgettable

__________

bnkr44 - GOVERNO PUNK

That’s a nice song. Again: nothing too special, but at least I remember the chorus.

Also, there are a lot of other songs that got a higher rank and bored me way faster than this one.

Vote: +1 for the chorus

__________

LA SAD - AUTODISTRUTTIVO

And suddenly, I’m a teen again. The rhythm, the lyrics, the punk, they all speak of the 2000s.

My inner teenager is singing along and loves all of this.

Vote: these guys have been inspired by Blink-182. Now I understand why they remind me so much of my adolescence.

__________

Maninni - SPETTACOLARE

Another typical love song. And it came before La Sad.

Now I’m the sad one.

Vote: even more forgettable

__________

Renga Nek - Pazzo di te

Small premise: Renga and Nek have both been around for a very long time and, as far as I know, they never made a collab together.

But while I’ve never been particularly interested in Renga’s music, Nek has a special place in my heart. Why? Because he’s my favorite Italian singer. I listened to his songs when I was a child first, then during my adolescence. After almost 20 years, I still love them and I still remember the lyrics. So I was waiting for another great song to add to my playlist.

But this song is nothing. It’s not interesting, it’s not new, it’s not a bop. It’s just a generic song about love.

What a huge disappointment, coming from two artists like them. They’ve been around for a lot of time, they should know it’s time to change. But nope, it’s as if they’re still stuck in the past, thinking that playing a song identical to what they made before will surely be appreciated.

But it’s not. The music scene changed, I changed. And this stuff is old.

Considering that we will see older artists with much more interesting songs, these two really have no excuse for this. It is just plain laziness.

Vote: listen to Le cose da difendere, instead. Or Contromano. Or L’inquietudine. They’re much better than this.

__________

CLARA - DIAMANTI GREZZI

This girl won Sanremo Giovani (the edition for younger singers) and I can understand why: she has a lot of voice and she’s a nice singer. The lyric isn’t the most original thing ever, but I like it and I think a lot of younger people can relate to it. It’s very nice and it doesn’t deserve such a low rank.

Vote: “kissing with the tongue/ is so scary”? Uuuh… I suppose young people relate to that? :/

__________

Rose Villain - CLICK BOOM!

This song is just… meh. Despite having two different rhythms, I don’t feel engaged by either of them.

Vote: and the lyrics aren’t great either

__________

BigMama - La rabbia non ti basta

1) The style, the eyes, the nails. This gal is a queen, she slays hard and I approve.

2) The song is about violence, dreams, protecting your inner child, yourself or even your past self from a past of abuse. It’s powerful and I approve.

3) The rhythm might not be the most groundbreaking thing ever, but it goes well with the song and I approve.

4) She’s great and I want to hear more songs from her.

Vote: Approved

__________

Ricchi E Poveri - Ma non tutta la vita

Ricchi e Poveri have been going around since 1967. My mother listened to them. They started as a quartet, then became two, then one of them died and now, these are the last two members left, both in their 70s.

And despite that, these two are amazing.

Their voices are still great, their song is a bop, their energy is incredible. They are much, much better than a lot of these younger singers and I would’ve never imagined that goddamn Ricchi e Poveri would sing one of my favorite songs of this year.

Sure, the ghost of Raffaella Carrà possessed this song, considering the rhythm reminds me of her famous songs, but you know what? It works well. It’s good.

And the lyrics are good too. Even if this is a romantic song, it’s also a song about wanting your own freedom: but instead of stating it loudly, it softly hints at it (“You know I’ll wait for you / but not for all of my life”). It’s nice, it’s cute, I love it.

They do not deserve this position in the final chart, so I blame people thinking they were too old to participate. I thought the same and I repent.

Vote: I wish to have at least 10% of their energy

__________

Dargen D'Amico - Onda Alta

If you don’t think this song is perfect dancing material, you’re lying.

But also consider: the lyric is about immigrants, so this song isn’t just a bop, but it’s meaningful too.

Vote: good job, my boy

__________

Negramaro - Ricominciamo tutto

Honestly, never really cared about Negramaro’s songs and this one adds to the pile.

Vote: try again next time

__________

SANTI FRANCESI - l'amore in bocca

These guys and Negramaro have a higher rank than Ricchi e Poveri. The disrespect. The ignominy.

Vote: this song is a bit better than Negramaro’s song, fine, but it’s also… just okay.

__________

Mr.Rain - DUE ALTALENE

Is… he singing with Autotune? I’m not really a fan of it because I want to hear what you can do, not what the software can do to make you sound better.

But okay, maybe it’s part of how he wanted this song, I can accept it. But still, not a fan of the song: too boring.

Vote: Next

__________

The Kolors - UN RAGAZZO UNA RAGAZZA

The music video screams ‘80s, the song screams ‘80s as well. And, like every 80s song, the chorus is extremely catchy: so catchy that, after the second listening, I was still singing it.

Curse you, catchy rhythm and catchy song that will definitely become a summer hit.

Vote: “a boy meets a girl / lips on the lips / who guess what will happen”. Jeez, wow, a real mystery.

__________

Fiorella Mannoia - Mariposa

She’s another of those veteran singers (69 years old). And, once again, she slays harder than a lot of the younger artists.

I listened to this song once and fell in love immediately. The lyrics are beautiful: HERE you can read the English translation and I highly suggest it, because the song is full of beautiful images and harmonies.

But that’s not just the lyrics, it’s how she sings it. And she sings it with passion and pride. It wouldn’t be as effective, sung by a younger, softer voice: this songs needs a powerful, deep voice and Fiorella is perfect for it.

Vote: it deserves everything.

__________

Emma - APNEA

Look me in the eye, then explain how this comes before Fiorella Mannoia.

You can listen to this song on every radio everywhere: it’s not original, not funny and the lyrics are meh.

Also, couldn’t she find a way to fit the word “apnea” better? To me, it looks like she suddenly remembered and put it at the end of the verse (“you take my breath away/apnea”). I don’t know, it gives me the idea she hasn’t thought too much about it.

Vote: I couldn’t listen to this song more than twice - and the second time I was fed up already

__________

Diodato - Ti muovi

Apologies to all of his fans, but I never loved Diodato’s songs. Even when I won, I asked myself why: what do people find in this guy? Why do they love his songs so much?

Personally, I find this extremely boring.

Vote: this came before Fiorella Mannoia. The utter disrespect.

__________

Il Tre - FRAGILI

This song is La Sad without the punk. And I’ve always preferred the punk over this stuff.

Vote: punk > this

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Gazzelle - Tutto Qui

This song was so utterly boring, I barely managed to do a full listening.

Vote: how did these people get such high places in the final rank?!

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ALFA - Vai!

I don’t know who this guy is, but I LOVE his song. Good vibes, a carefree rhythm and a great message about living your life to the fullest. It makes me want to go out and explore new things. I want it as the theme song for every summer and every time I visit a new place.

Give this boy a chance, you might find your next happy song.

Vote: thank you for the happy vibes

__________

Alessandra Amoroso - Fino a qui

And here it is: the only song of the entire list that was so devastatingly boring, I didn’t even manage to finish one full listening.

Vote: Sorry Alessandra, but this is really bad. It doesn’t deserve the top 10.

__________

Il Volo - Capolavoro

Guys, your voices are still good, but this song is very VERY boring. And the lyrics are boring too.

Also, what the fuck does it even mean “you fall from the sky like a masterpiece”?! Every time I listen to it, I keep imagining paintings falling from the sky and I’m too perplexed and conflicted and also frustrated because this song is booooring.

Vote: you fall from the sky like a huge question mark

__________

Loredana Bertè - Pazza

Loredana is another veteran. She’s 73 and yet, look at her: way younger than the youngest singers. She has an attitude, she’s sassy, she’s confident. We all stan her.

Also, her song is about loving yourself and learning how to love yourself. And I’m pretty sure that this song, sung by a different voice, wouldn’t be so powerful. It needs such a powerful, “scratchy” voice.

Despite that, Loredana only got 7th place. And that’s a problem, because she said she wanted to win, to go to Eurovision and “mess with my ex-husband and the Swedish king”.

So, since this is an extremely valid reason and we all approve of it, I highly suggest the winner take Loredana and bring her to Sweden. She deserves to go around and wreak havoc. I want to see the poor Swedes dealing with her. I want to see her ex-husband quiver in fear. I want to see the Swedish king ask: “who are you and how did you enter my place?”. I want Loredana to take control of Sweden with her sassiness.

Vote: San Marino, you know what you have to do.

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Mahmood - TUTA GOLD

This is the reason I wanted to write this post.

Mahmood won two times already and both times he made good songs. He clearly proved he’s a good singer and I’m glad he gets the recognition he deserves.

When I listened to this song for the first time, it gave me chills. It’s interesting, it’s captivating. It’s full of images associated with his life in the suburbs and things he’s probably the only one to understand.

I think he came 6th, only because he won two times already and winning a third time would’ve been too much. But he still deserves all the recognition, so please listen to his song. It’ll be worth it.

Vote: in my final rank, he’s definitely top 3

__________

Irama - Tu no

I have another secret to share: I don’t like Irama’s songs. I know people like him, but I really cannot understand why. He has an interesting voice, sure. And fine, despite being a hugely boring romantic ballad, at least he sings it with passion.

But it’s a lament. Fine, the chorus is okay, but it became okay only after four listenings.

Vote: my brother loves this song and he’s a ballad lover. So I suppose people who love ballads love Irama? That’s how he got 5th place?

__________

Ghali - CASA MIA

A song about equality and against all wars. And not only the lyrics are very clear about it (“with imaginary lines, you bomb a hospital/for a piece of land or for a piece of bread”), but Ghali himself was very clear too, since he said “stop the genocide” right after his performance.

Somehow, a debate started over this. And hear this: it started because the Israeli ambassador got offended and said something like “he shouldn’t use the stage to say this”.

Yes, this is the stupidest thing you will read today and I can’t believe I just wrote it.

But hey, Ghali probably thought it was stupid too, since his reply was something like: “I’m sorry he got offended, what offended him, anyway? That I used my stage to give a message of peace? What should’ve used the stage for instead?” which proves:

he’s an absolute king

he’s much more mature than the supposed adults involved who are way older than him

Now, I know nothing about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict and I don’t want to express any opinion about who is “right” or “wrong” here. But if you get offended over something like “stop the genocide”, then you have something to hide. It’s not rocket science, it’s evident.

And considering we can all see how heavy and uncontrollable the Israeli bombardment is, what do they think we should say? That it’s fine, keep going?

Even war has its rules. And bombing everything, especially civilians, isn’t part of them. It doesn’t matter how “right” you are or how wronged you feel: once you hit your enemy like this, you are automatically wrong. It’s as if the Allies exterminated all Germans during WW2: it never happened, because even something awful like war has a limit and a decency.

And if you don’t feel like people should express their opinion about war, then think twice: despite our issues, we still have freedom of speech in Italy. So if an artist wants to express an anti-war idea, they’re free to do it whatever and whenever they want. End of the discussion.

Vote: I bet you all forgot the manatee-looking alien. Yes, there was a manatee-looking alien.

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Annalisa - Sinceramente

This song came before Mahmood.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s a good song. You can dance to it, I danced to it too. It’s catchy, I’m sure it will be a huge hit and I love it. And she’s great too.

But it came before Mahmood.

Vote: can we switch? Mahmood 3rd place and this 6th? Or 5th and move Irama down?

__________

Geolier - I P’ ME, TU P’ TE

You have no idea how curious I was to hear this song.

All I knew about this guy, was that he got 60% from the televoting. More than half of Italy voted for him. Why? Who is he? What kind of song did he ever sing? I needed to listen to it!

And now I did. And, well, it became clear why it got so much attention.

Geolier sings by using the Neapolitan dialect. Except for three lines in the chorus in Italian, the rest of the song is in Neapolitan.

And this is incredibly interesting because the Neapolitan dialect is probably the most well-known dialect here in Italy. I think everyone knows or, at least, understands a bit of it. But even if I can understand it and even if I listened to this song a lot of times already, I still don’t get all the words. And I doubt others fully understand it (except for, well, Neapolitans). It’s a bit of a linguistic challenge, it’s fun.

And yes, I know this song would’ve never been Eurovision material, but imagine. Just imagine this song, on the international stage. The sheer confusion of the rest of the world. I mean, my father thought he was singing “in some weird English dialect from some island” and he spent 50 years in Italy. Just imagine a completely clueless person who knows nothing about Italian dialects.

And this is why you should listen to it and see what you can understand. Come on, give it a try! And even if you don’t understand a thing, at least you will hear a song about a breakup, the end of an abusive relationship and the need to take different ways. Which is still related to the love theme, but at least it talks about a different aspect of it.

Vote: absolutely deserved 2nd place. Maybe even the 1st place, just to witness Europe’s confusion while listening to it.

__________

Angelina Mango - La noia

When I did my first listening to the top 5 songs, my brother made me listen to them in random order. So I listened to Geolier first, then this one.

Geolier is clearly very southern: I mean, he sings in a southern dialect. But then I listened to this woman and not only she has a southern Italian accent, but she also uses a very clear southern rhythm for the song.

So can we consider this year’s Sanremo a victory for south Italy? Definitely. The rhythm is immaculate and yes, I know there are a lot of nice songs from north Italy too, but the south always had that magical, dance-y rhythm and I’m glad it was so well appreciated.

The lyric are very interesting too, because it’s a celebration of boredom. Boredom is essential for growth, it’s part of us and we need to embrace it, because it helps us - and that’s not what she says, but what biology says. We need moments of boredom: to recharge ourselves, to relax, to let new projects and ideas stem from it. We need boredom, just like we need to keep ourselves active.

It’s nice to see a song with a very different theme, with a rhythm that is both new and old, with a great lyric and a good singer. I’m very glad she won: people have great taste and that’s always nice to see that.

Vote: my father (aka the Eurovision prophet) already said she might win Eurovision. Italy’s new victory in less than 30 years? I’m all for it.

[marengogo]

QUICKIE - 4: Queer Realizations and Acceptances

Part of Your World - by Halle  [The Little Mermaid]

[Music is a very big part of my life and I’m MOSTLY INCAPABLE of writing without music, so I just thought I'd share what I am listening to while writing this]

🐺 — 🐺 — 🐺—

Ladies, Gentlemen and Distinguished Enbies, how have you all been?

As I’m writing this, the schedule for FESTA 2023 was just released so, i’ll make sure to post this today, so I can focus on it 🤩🤩🤩.

Hope you haven’t allowed too many pestering things in the fandom ruffle your beautiful feathers. It might seem like there is a lot to be angry about, but IN MY OPINION we keep getting appalled and distracted by the same-ol’same ol’, which, NGL, plays perfectly into the hands of those who want to see us triggered and ignore, for example, ACTUAL ANGER INDUCING shit that has been going on in the industry potentially affecting the members, some more than others; NAMELY JIMIN. BUT the title of this post is Queer Realizations and Acceptances, right? So, forgive me, let me not digress.

From the beginning of this year, I’ve been concentrating heavily on all aspects of my health and thus far, even though it has been so groundbreaking in many positive ways, it has brought about a lot of things I had to face head-on, ready-or-not style. This particular weekend, my family and I met with another family for a nice lunch. During this meeting it was made pretty clear to me that, at this stage in my life, if I were to pursue being my TRUE SELF, a European-born African Queer Woman, with anyone other than my sibling and close cousins, within my family, I would never bring my family any joy, or sense of pride and I would most certainly ostracise myself. And because I also realised that I really love my family, there is really nothing I can do.

These are the cards I was dealt and that I have finally accepted. As a consequence, I have started making my statement clear on my wish to not want to marry, which has liberated me so much; SO FUCKING MUCH. With that weight off my shoulder, the desire to start working on my project has been growing stronger by the day, and with that I also finally came face-to-face with my biggest fear, the one and only reason why I haven’t been able to sit-down and write. I’ve been working on this like half my life, and though it is not the theme it is LGBTQ-heavy, hence I have been feeling literally petrified at the idea of this project somehow ending up catching a public eye or two. Take the infamous situation with Kit Connor, he was basically pushed into having to reveal his sexuality and I CANNOT, AND WILL NOT, HAVE THAT. 

I have been working on this project for so long, it is my baby, so I want it out in the world, but at the same time I also want to keep my family. I know it sounds like a Have your cake and eat it situation, but that is indeed my situation and: I WANT BOTH. Particularly when, to begin with, it is hella unfair for these two things to be mutually exclusive. So as I kept thinking, Jikook came to mind. For all the speculation, all the love, all the hate, all the gossip, all the rumours, all their actions, all their silences … we still don’t have any confirmation, or negation, regarding whether they are straight or queer. So why couldn’t this be me? 

The only big difference I could spot is that differently from Europe and America, in Asia a journalist will not come up and ask you flat out “Are you Gay?” In fact the private lifestyle of an Asian idol, where just dating is a scandal hence everyone keeps it underwraps, and companies also help you to do so if theta re invested in you enough could prove rather beneficial and a good protection unless you get caught of course 😬😬😬. Nevertheless, as I am not in Asia, I do not have that option but I have indeed figured out what I am going to do in my case if that time were ever to arise 🤡���. Basically, NEVER LET ANYONE FORCE YOU TO COME OUT. I think this is not said enough, but if you don’t want to come out, YOU 👏🏾 DON’T 👏🏾 HAVE 👏🏾 TO 👏🏾.

Now, obviously I don't know if Jikook assuming they are queer would ever want to come out or not, it is a scary world out there and safety comes ALWAYS FIRST. However, ultimately it is up to them, and in the same way I would want people to respect my decision, even if 4 years from now it becomes painfully clear maybe by being the only two members that aren't married but somehow live together that they indeed are, if by then nothing has still been confirmed or denied then; CLEARLY that would have been their answer with that question. Period.

So, if I ever were to get "fans" one day, I apologise in advance for my secrecy in regards, but whatever action I take will be my stance. You will be free to speculate and do all that I am respectfully doing with Jikook at the moment, of course, but just as well, because I would have been on both sides, I also know that you won’t die from lack of knowledge; no matter how badly you want to know. BUT THEN AGAIN who knows, maybe by the time I get to that point the world might have made a complete 360 and being part of the Queer community 🏳️‍🌈 wouldn't be such a problematic thing anymore. I wouldn’t hold my breath on this but, hey, miracles do happen, so I can but hope 😊.

Anyways, enough of my rambling, let's all get ready for FESTA 2023, apparently there already is something on schedule for tomorrow so y'all ... like ... THE OT7 IN MY CAN'T EVEN.

Always respectfully yours,

Marengo.

[elibean]

well this anime season is ending with a lot less shows than i thought it would, lol

there were SO MANY "ok i'll check out the first episode at least" shows on my list this season and i dropped most of them xD

shy-- cute, but nothing particularly stood out to me. also it would've hit way harder if the classmate ACTUALLY died. oh no she was a little more injured than the rest of them. boohoo

bullbuster-- i'm a sucker for anime originals, and this is pa works, right? ah no i'm way off lol it's NUT, same ones who did...deca-dence, i think? yeah, and i loved that one that was fun. but i just generally don't care about mechas, and this wasn't doing anything to really stand out from others shows, so

shangri-la-- ok everyone was praising the HELL out of this beforehand, like they really liked the source material. the first episode was...fine? it just seems like a straightforward "guy gets really into a vr game" thing lol, like maybe sao but without the impending doom. the animation was nice, but there was nothing there to really grab me.

100 girlfriends-- again people were praising the source material here, so i thought maybe i'd enjoy it, even though i usually don't bother with harem or romance. i thought maybe this'd be different. it wasn't. some of the jokes got a snort out of me, but nothing like super amazing. and the heteronormative thing that he can only be in love with girls was annoying lol

i think that's it out of what i tried and dropped. so what i'm following, sequels notwithstanding--

telepath-- ok the premise is really dumb, what high school girl would HONESTLY make a whole dream about ~meeting aliens~. i think younger me would have been more invested in this kind of thing BUT the forehead touch was super cute, and this IS tagged under "girls' love" so i'm....hoping. please. give me like a smooch or something please

yuzuki-san-- awful subs aside, this seemed really cute and promising. nothing groundbreaking, but endearing and i love stories about families.

frieren-- i'm not gonna say it's a masterpiece but like. easily aots, no contest lol. incredible, even if predictable. the idea of her retracing her steps is really interesting, too. and it's a cool storytelling thing to have us retroactively see her journey along the way-- that's just really fun. i'm not sure how i feel about the goal of getting to talk to her dead friend again. it feels like it kind of cheapens what she's trying to do, in a way? unsure, i feel like they might be able to pull it off in a satisfying way, though. i love the idea of her trying to grow and become more empathetic-- that's really interesting. this one deserves all the praise it's getting.

aaaand that's it, again minus sequels. small season, compared to what i thought it'd be lol

[slowdripsunrise]

MORE READING UPDATES OMLLLLLLL i forgor about this blog again. it will happen again tbh but i still have to go through all of the books i finished in late 2023 up to now... i'm gonna try and get as many as i can done but probably wont get all of them lol. probably very long post/rant + spoilers for various books under the cut

keep in mind i have shit memory and all of these books were finished a while ago so be warned for bad analysis and summaries

-How High We Go in the Dark by Sequoia Nagamatsu: this book was a collection of short stories that are interconnected through characters and a central storyline - a plague. i thought the concept was super interesting and i had heard really good things about it from people i share a reading taste with so i went into this expecting to be blown away and i just. wasnt. i LOVED some of the short stories and there were a few that made me cry, mainly snortorious and the robot dog story where the mom died, but other than that it was kinda a let down. the ending fucking sucked ngl. like i thought we were leading up to some profound moment, especially calling back to the chapter where people are relieving their memories in the dark, because i thought that was really compelling and interesting, but it was just fucking aliens. like it reallly feels like a cop out to me. like a whole "and it was all just a dream" type ending. im not gonna rate it actually yes i am i'd give it like 2.5-3 stars. only because some of the chapters were super hard hitting but other than that. meh.

-The Raven Cycle by Maggie Stiefvater: WHOOOOO BOY. i ate this shit up. god if i had read this in middle school or high school i am 100% certain it would have become my entire personality. like i fucking get it. i totally fucking get it. i'm treating the whole series as one book rn bc they all kinda blend together in my mind and its been a while but just. the fucking vibes. good lord the vibes were so good. can't pick out any 100% certain things i particularly noticed but i will reblog every webweave about this series there is trust. rating the entire series as 5 stars mostly because i listened to the audiobook and they did SUCH A GOOD JOB ON TH E AUDIOBOOK OML like. at first i was kinda thrown off bc i wasn't expecting it to be so. southern? but once i finished the first one i knew there was no way i could just go back to reading it with a physical book like audiobook all the way the narrator was so awesome and i love the southernness of it.

-What Moves the Dead by T. Kingfisher: my first t. kingfisher book! i loved the vibes, the world, the whole new set of pronouns, that shit was so fun, overall a nice short and sweet creepy ass fucking book. like im a huge wimp so i was deffo nervous and freaked out at some points, especially with the rabbits lol idk why but those were unnerving. the author did a really good job of conveying the mc's anxiety and fear while also adding in some humor and soldier rationality and stoicism. lol. cute i liked it 3.5/4 stars.

-Fault Lines by Emily Itami: tbh mostly picked this one up for the cover and it was really just a standard cheating story where the mc gets back together with her original husband because of their kids. nothing i remember to be groundbreaking at all really. 2.5 stars

-Olga Dies Dreaming by Xochitl Gonzalez: I really wasn't expecting to like this book as much as I did. the pov changes i think were very well done and intentional and weren't confusing at all! the narrators for the audiobook were wonderful and really brought life to the story, a lovely book.

-She Who Became the Sun by Shelley Parker-Chan: honestly, looking back on it, i was never really captivated by this story. it took me a long time to get into it, and i really never connected with any of the characters. a lot of it was more confusing than not, and i'm honestly not sure if i feel the need to continue the series. may be a case of me not being in the right mood for it, but i don't see myself trying it again. kinda sad cuz i was excited to love this but oh well. win some lose some.

-Cloud Cuckoo Land by Anthony Doerr: hands down my fav book of 2023 and one of my fav books of all time. like i have a feeling this review is going to be either very long or very short because there is no way i will be able to write out all the ways i love this book. the owl motif. the environmental extremism from seymore that i can 100% relate to. the way that he fell down that path in a way that felt realistic to me, based on his circumstances, and it isn't implied in my opinion, that all autistic people are like this, that all autistic people can take things to the extreme like seymore did. the audiobook was wonderful. the interconnected stories over time i think is one of my new favorite tropes/plots/metas. if done well (cough how high we go in the dark) it gets me every single time. XENO and everything about him. i was listening to the audiobook at work and during his death i had to fight back tears lol. god. and the kids in the play and how they wanted to end the story.... fuck my life. and konstance and her curiosity and oh my god everything about this book messed me up. 5/5 i think thats all i'll be able to say before i combust.

-Chlorine by Jade Song: what a weird little book. really liked it. audiobook slayed. not much else to say. recommend for weird lesbians. 3.5/4 stars.

-A Dowry of Blood by S. T. Gibson: THE AUDIOBOOK NARRATOR IS SO FUCKING GOOD AT HER JOB I COULD LISTEN TO HER TALK ALL DAY I THINK IM IN LOVE WITH HER. the story was really good love a good vampire story love a good creepy story. fun time. listened to the audiobook in like an hour hour and a half car ride it was a good time. 3.5 stars.

and that ends off all of the books i read in 2023 !!!!!!! YIPPEEE!!!!! i'll stop here and make a separate post for the books i've read so far in 2024 just for organizational purposes and also because i am hungry and need to stop lol. if you made it this far through the post i love you and also sorry for the long rant but also too bad because this is my blog and you clicked on it. happy reading :)

[adamwatchesmovies]

Insidious: The Red Door (2023)

If you’ve lost count, Insidious: The Red Door is the fifth entry in the Insidious series. It's a direct sequel to Insidious: Chapter 2, with both Insidious: Chapter 3 and Insidious: The Last Key serving as prequels to 2010’s Insidious. Confused yet? I don’t blame you. The franchise’s tight continuity involves its own mythology on top of some head-warping time-travel elements. It’s been ten years since we last saw the Lamberts. Thankfully, writer Scott Teems reminds you of all the important details but nothing in this entry is groundbreaking, which can easily make it feel like “just another one”.

In 2010, Josh Lambert (Patrick Wilson) and his son Dalton’s memories of The Further are repressed via hypnosis after Josh becomes possessed (see the events of “Insidious: Chapter 2”). Nine years later, Josh is divorced from his wife Renai (Rose Byrne), his mother has passed away and his relationship with Dalton (Ty Simpkins) has become strained. When Dalton rediscovers his astral projection abilities, he risks unleashing a forgotten evil. Meanwhile, his father begins seeing a ghost as well.

I’ve seen all of the Insidious films but have to confess that I don’t remember them all very clearly. I remember some of the monsters we saw along the way, how The Further works and the characters but I get what happened in which film mixed up - probably a symptom of their criss-crossy stories. It’s a good thing the film finds ways to explain it all to you. As Dalton begins college, he makes friends with Chris (Sinclair Daniel, very charming). As his abilities re-emerge, both have to rediscover the rules associated with this series. This may be frustrating for superfans who just want to get right into the terror. They may also be find this new chapter’s lack of innovation disappointing. It’s nice that we find out what happened after the end credits of Chapter 2 but did we REALLY need to? Wasn’t it scarier not knowing? The two movies that followed were more interested in going back rather than going forward - probably because the series killed off Lin Shaye’s Elise Rainier - and with the previous movie being called “The Last Key”, you’d think that meant the whole thing was done, but it isn’t. We get another one and if the post-credit shot (I won’t even call it a stinger) means anything, we’ll probably get a sixth one. It sort of makes you wonder how long it will take before the franchise goes into space.

Those sentiments aside, this is an effective ghost story. The monsters we encounter in “The Further” are frightening and you care about the characters. You’ve known them for so long. You feel bad for Josh. It’s good that he overcame the demonic possession from 2010, but that’s not a happy ending. You want something more, something better. Similarly, you want Dalton to reforge the bond between him and his dad and you’re worried that this ability he’s rediscovered will land him in an even more dangerous situation than before. He’s grown up… but alone. Some great, effective scenes build up the tension as spooky figures slowly get closer and closer to our protagonists. Other threats approach in a less literal way, as Dalton keeps exploring The Further without knowing what that place is actually about. There’s a recurring motif of a painting he’s working on and of a sinister red door. His teacher pushes him to explore the recesses of his soul to create - not knowing this is exactly what the wraiths are hoping for. His memories are slowly returning and as they do, he’s putting the finishing touches on the painting. When you see the whole thing finished, it’s a great reveal and that idea of remembering important details through paint and a brush comes together splendidly at the end in a scene that I found unexpectedly emotional.

As a directorial debut, Patrick Wilson could've done much worse than Insidious: The Red Door, particularly considering his character plays a major role in the film. The movie has some good scares, creepy monsters and the characters - both new and recurring - are likable. I won't call this chapter essential, even for those who've followed this universe since the beginning but if you're interested, I'd say check it out. (September 22, 2023)

[laudofthedeep]

4, 14 and 17! :)

Oh my god, apparently I somehow saved this as a draft instead of posting it? Unintentional, but also this is so long I refuse to proofread it before posting. Sorry to the brave anon who sent this. I saw it, I’m just also an idiot.

4. Oh okay no I see what happened, I forgot what this question was and saved as a draft to go get the actual question but then I got distracted. I think the question was like…bucket list aquariums or something?

The Georgia Aquarium in Atlanta! It’s one of the biggest in the world, and one of a small number to keep whale sharks! Also the Aquarium of Western Australia in Perth for reasons I’ll explain while answering 14.

Honorable mentions to the Monterey Bay Aquarium, which seems neat and heavily involved in conservation, and the Osaka Aquarium, which is both convenient and another of the few places to keep whale sharks but which I’m more cautious about due to Japan’s…lax perspective on animal ethics.

Incidentally, I’m not a particular fan of whale sharks (at least not any more than any other aquatic animal; they’re still neat) but an aquarium being able to keep them for several years indicates both an understanding of and a budget for keeping other aquatic life well.

14. What was an important, defining moment you’ve had with fish/aquatic animals?

I don’t feel like I had a specific important moment; rather, a lot of specific media gradually built together into an abiding passion for aquatic life.

There was something in the water in the early 2010s. There were four things that really stoked my passion for Fish.

The thing that really catalyzed it was Endless Ocean: Blue World, which is pretty much Fish: The Game. It was gorgeous (for its time) and did a good job introducing me to fish that weren’t typical aquarium fish (too bright, too same) or sharks (cool, I guess, but too sensational). As it turns out, there are all kinds of fish and they do all kinds of things. I particularly liked learning about deep sea stuff and still do because I like The Unknown.

Around the same time, I started watching River Monsters. I caught a bit of it on TV and fell in love. It had fish I recognized from Endless Ocean and it was (mostly) about being informational and scientific while still being narratively entertaining. At that time around me, fish were considered a hobby of rednecks (there was a lot of television about fishing that was very redneck, and I lived in an area that was decidedly Not Redneck) or the rich (who would go out on yachts and fish for billfish; these are who I lived around), and it was nice to see a television show that felt like it was for me and my interests.

Not too long after, Animal Crossing: New Leaf came out. Animal Crossing is many things, but to me it is a collector’s game. In that I use it almost exclusively as a fishing simulator, because that game is charming and it has Cool Fish and you can decorate your house with Cool Fish. This is self-explanatory.

But the most important one. The foundation. The godfather. Zoo Tycoon 2. I was just talking about that game with a friend the other night, and it was truly a boon for animal nerds everywhere. That game had a community that simply couldn’t exist these days. Both online and gaming culture have changed too much. Let me explain. Zoo Tycoon 2 was a pretty good game. Nothing groundbreaking. But. It had a format and source code that made it PRIME for modding. And so mod the world did. There were several forums in its glory days, and mods ranged in ability from “I took the base aardvark and made it red” to “I have lovingly rendered the world’s largest sauropod, adding several unique animations and behaviors and several hundred polygons”. And in these days, the internet would support you either way. Or at least the ZT2 community would. I can’t remember seeing a single disparaging post about something someone had created. There was one creator in particular (well, two, they were a team), Zeta Designs, who consistently made great stuff. Although I can’t find it anymore, they at one point embarked on a 1:1 recreation of the Perth Aquarium, creating new designs as necessary to reconstruct it. This right here is why I started getting interested in aquariums, and that’s what led me into the rest.

17. Do you keep an aquarium or an outside pond? If so, what animals (or lack thereof) do you keep?

I no longer do! I had to leave my aquarium behind when I moved to Japan, and that was very sad. I’d keep an aquarium now but my apartment won’t allow anything over five gallons. With that said, the aquarium I had was a 29 gallon with a pair of pearl gourami, a pair of ropefish, and some oto cats. I’d have wanted some more ropefish (they like friends) but I couldn’t afford a bigger tanks, so that was the best I could do. Actually, one of my proudest moments in fishkeeping was when I went to buy a new ropefish (one of them died during a terrible winter storm where my house lost power for a week, but it actually died in the fish daycare I sent it to because they have a nasty habit of jumping out of tanks and disappearing) and the fish store owner was like “I dunno kid, these guys are real hard to take care of and I’d hate to see see you coming back a week from now looking for another. How can I trust that you’ll be able to keep it alive?” And I was like. Uh. Well. I’ve kept a couple of them for three years now so I hope I’m good enough at keeping them alive. And the guy goes “Damn, three years? Arright buddy you’re golden, you’re better at keeping fish than 90% of my customers.” Dude got MUCH more talkative after that, I’m pretty sure I’d have been there for hours if my dad wasn’t waiting in the car.

[ilargeicontradictmiself]

Okay the gap ep1

(Edit: i call her Nom instead of Mon in this whole thing im sorry)

The romance and the mains are compelling and that's all that matters at the end.

Sam in the bath was such a pretty shot good job

They did a good job getting me to see both of them and care about each (a little, it's early) . I think ill like the romance. Im curious as to what they'll do with Kirk. I dont know who the sidecouples are supposed to be and ive only clocked one potential one (hr lady and dude from the office).

I like what they did with Sam and Nom character wise, though the fan-idol thing isn't my favourite, but it feels like that's not such a huge part of the relationship, Sam being on Nom's mind all these years is definitely affecting their relationship but it's not making it weird or anything, the focus is usually on their previous meeting anyway.

Sam has only been doing this for four years as far as i can tell and that combined with all the stress she has over it (so many things quite literally depend on it) is definitely effecting the way she's treating them , which isn't particularly productive or nice but at least they're honest about it and im expecting growth so its fine. But she better be nicer to Kirk once in a while, sunshine-cold besties yay but you don't get in the car and drive away without a nod, man , come on.

Thought it was weird how everyone spoke english to nom at first because she "looks white"?? and then the hr lady said it says on her file that she's british and that explains it idk why they didn't say that from the beginning. And idk why it says that she's british since she's half thai and grew up there but anyway.

Acting : okay so, sam and nom are definitely the best, probably not an acting thing, more due to the writing and directing. Especially Nom i think feels more natural than the others. It's not the worst of other yt thai stuff ive watched, its possibly not the best either but it's too early to say.

Directing and writing are close to gmmtv's medium ones i think. The colors are definitely pretty but they have that...timing you know? Nothing groundbreaking about what im saying, probably what you'd expect. And its not a problem. It's not exactly hitting all my buttons cause im not fully in that mood right now but it's not a problem, and i might even say that they had a few really pretty shots (Sam in the bath, so pretty man). Im ignoring the music (its very "gmmtv's music flops " of them)

[uweiy]

I'm intrigued by Love is Science? but know nothing about it. Can you give me a run down on what kind of thing to expect and who it might appeal to? Thank you!! 😁

Ooooo boi *gremlin smile* I'm glad you asked. You've entered the dragon's den, broken the dam and thus this post turned out to be a monster so I'm gonna link here another post from @accidentallyadramablog which imo gives a nice (and short) overview.

That said let's get into

Love is Science?

Summary :

Yan Fei is a the CEO of the Love is Science marriage agency, that matches people based on scientific data. Hsuan Yu, 8 years younger than her, is a promising young hairstylist who has been in love with her thoughout their entire childhood when she has only ever seen him like a little brother.

Unexpectedly they meet again. Between the way they've each built their lives and how Yong Yan Fei's ex husband still looms over Yan Fei's life, how will their relationship develop this time around ?

Now,

just reading that summary I know what you're thinking.

Indeed, if you have some experience with dramas, you might recognize some TYPICAL TYPICAL tropes – let's get them out of the way :

love triangle (though we all know who she is going to end up with don't we)

childhood friends

'noona romance'

And they are every bit as present and as trope-ey as you would expect.

However, as they say, the devil is in the details.

And particularly, in the side characters. Let me give you a quick rundown of the lot of them :

As such, we follow the stories of multiple relationships that develop parallel to one another.

The relationships

• Yan Fei/ Hsuan Yu : Not much needs to be added I think. Their storyline might be the most predictable but they are pretty sweet and heartwarming. pining for like 12 years though poor Hsuan Yu. Anyway you can enjoy it or find it boring or but you can't hate it.

• Mark/Ouwen : Noooow we're getting to it. Their dynamic is so... Refreshing and unique. Confident gay with a soft heart and dumb disaster bisexual I mean *chef kiss*👌delicious

After the disasters of their first meetings, it's a cat and dog relationship where Ouwen is the hsssssss don't touch me– cat and Mark is the golden retriever trailing after him not really realizing the rampage he's creating in Ouwen's heart. while Ouwen is like "Remind me why the FUCK I caught feelings again ?".

IDK it just has everything 'Enemies' to friends to lovers, (not actually) unrequited love, pining, sweet moments, jealousy, feelings realization, snarky banter... What more could one want.

• Cho Nai Hui / You Fu : they are. So. So sweet. Both are older and have experience, and as such they are not so naive or stupid as the youngsters. Them sharing their life experiences and going on dates like typically teenagers (in movies or TV shows anyway) would is refreshing to see and really really heartwarming.

• Liu Sheng Ying/ ??? Her ex ? : The show hinted at a wlw storyline and this arc seems to have JUST begun. Basically Sheng Ying's ex comes to Love is Science as a client and requests Sheng Ying as an advisor, while Sheng Ying still seems heartbroken over her. I can't WAIT to see how it develops.

The friendships :

Something I greatly appreciate is that both the romantic relationships AND the friendships have a great importance in the drama.

• Joanna and Yan Fei : Jo, queen Jo 👑. She's just here to gossip, get all the gossip and be the voice of reason and we love her for it. You can see how comfortable they are around each other and how they were there for each other during tough times and still are. Kudos to the actresses because I believed the characters were besties in a heartbeat.

• Hsuan Yu and Mark : they are honestly... Such polar opposites you kinda wonder how they became friends but they are and it works perfectly.

Hsuan Yu still hasn't gotten he maybe shouldn't take Mark's advice, and Mark still hasn't gotten that he, definitely should take Hsuan Yu's. It also enables to develop a more playful and mischievous side to Hsuan Yu, giving him more depth?

• Ouwen and Sheng Ying: rivalry to reluctant solidarity to friends-but-i-will-deny-it-if-asked to just friends. IT'S GREAT

I also ejoy the fact that these multiple storylines are allowed to coexist. The romantic ones, the friendships, older, younger, m/f m/m and f/f like take your pick !! And tbh a WLW storyline ?????? These are so scarce I will take anything.

The recurring themes :

The show more or less subtly touches on some topics/issues, to which the dating aspect contributes to.

A non exhaustive list would be

Divorce, and how divorced women can be viewed as failures for some reason

How successful men over 30 are sought after but successful women after 30 are somehow deemed undatable

Preconceived notions and homophobia

And beyond the topics, there's just things like... Joanna not being interested in long term relationships nor wanting to get married, reporting sexual harassment, older people going on dates.... I'm not saying it's a groundbreaking activist drama –which is not really what I was looking for– I just appreciate the fact that it is a pretty mainstream drama and that these things are there.

Mad respect if you've made it up to here ! but we're not quite done yet.

The cast and crew :

The other element that made this drama stand out for me besides the side characters is the cast.

It might be weird that such a meta thing impacts the appreciation of the show but it did, for me at least.

📣📣TMI WARNING 📣📣

For me what happened is I stumbled onto Mark and Ouwen cuts on YouTube, then somehow onto the behind the scenes. They weren't subbed at the time so I could barely understand a word of what they were saying, thus I'm not sure what but something about how the rest of the actors, the director and the crew were interacting just told me it was a show worth watching or at least checking out.

📣📣END OF TMI📣📣

The cast honestly seems to have a blast and to have, how to say it, come together really well. It seems like most of them have become genuinely friends, or despite differences in personality have truly enjoyed working with one another and with the rest of the crew, and it shows.

Where it's lacking

In my opinion the show does have some aspects where it underperforms.

As previously mentioned, the main plot is kinda tropey, furthermore, in a drama typical fashion when something is about to get resolved, immediately something else happens. Nothing unexpected from a drama though.

The pacing : Some moments of the main plot especially dragged on, so I admit I skipped through some parts.

Because I feel so strongly about all the characters though, I don't really mind the previously mentioned points. I just think it's a shame because I feel like if it had been crafted a little bit better it could have made the show go from an 8/10 good drama to an 11/10 friggin amazing drama easy.

Lastly, there is a pretty unequal time distribution so Yan Fei and Hsuan Yu do tend to occupy the most part of an episode. However some episodes are more centered on some pairings (like ep 11 that will probably have an important Mark/Ouwen part).

Overall

it's a drama that warms my heart, as simple as that. It's not that deep, it's pretty funny, the acting ranges from good to excellent and I have taken a liking to a lot of the characters, which is what I think fuels my interest for the drama.

And I feel like it managed to attract a wide range of audiences because the romances and relationships are so diverse. Whether you watch the show for its entirety or for one aspect/storyline/character is entirely up to you and I feel like the creators of the drama are aware of it as well : and you can easily find subbed compilations about each specific pairing on Settv's official YouTube channel.

Take that aspect that you like–if you find one of course–and enjoy it, that is all ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

What's left to say besides.... 🎉🎊 Congratulations for making it to the end of this lengthy post !

[calzona-ga]

Since 2005, Shondaland has produced groundbreaking television. And over the course of 17 seasons, Grey’s Anatomy has made more than its fair share of bold choices. From the killing off of Patrick Dempsey’s beloved McDreamy to the still-controversial ghost-sex story line, the ABC series has seen, and done, it all. But perhaps no episode was riskier than turning the popular medical drama into a musical for “Song Beneath the Song,” the infamous season-7 hour in which a pregnant Callie (Sara Ramirez) gets badly injured in a car accident and, while her fellow doctors work to save her life, sees her hallucinatory self burst into song — with the rest of the characters quickly following suit.

Coming from the mind of series creator Shonda Rhimes, a vocal fan of both Broadway shows and TV musicals like Buffy’s “Once More, With Feeling,” the Grey’s musical episode was a monumental moment for the show and for television. Many viewers praised its audacity and swooned over the vocal chops of stars like Ramirez and Chandra Wilson.

“Song Beneath the Song” made for one of the most memorable hours of television, earning strong ratings and leading the soundtrack, particularly Ramirez’s show-stopping rendition of Brandi Carlile’s “The Story,” to Billboard success. A decade later, its impact is still growing, thanks in part to the countless teenage Grey’s fans who’ve only recently discovered the series via Netflix. Like the show itself, the musical has become an indelible part of TV history — and so, 10 years after its premiere in March 2011, we spoke to the episode’s cast and crew to get the story of how it came to be.

Featuring thoughts from Rhimes; writers, producers, and co-showrunners Tony Phelan and Joan Rater; and actors Wilson, Kevin McKidd, Jessica Capshaw, Kim Raver, and Eric Dane, this is the oral history of “Song Beneath the Song.”

Finding the Inspiration

Inspired by a 2008 benefit concert in which several stars of Grey’s and its spinoff show Private Practice performed songs to support out-of-work Hollywood workers during the 2007-2008 writers’ strike, Rhimes decided to turn her long-held desire to make a Grey’s musical episode into a reality.

Rhimes (series creator and writer): I remember thinking to myself at a certain point, I have this sort of murderers’ row of Broadway people. Like, Chandra had been on Broadway and singing; obviously, Sara Ramirez had won a Tony on Broadway [for Best Featured Actress in a Musical, in 2005], which is how I first met her; and then I knew that Kevin could sing. There were so many people in the show with beautiful voices. ... It felt like it was leaning in that direction in a good way.

Rater (writer, producer, and co-showrunner): The first iteration for, like, two days when we first started batting around the idea was that we would write original music. It was all gonna be original music. And then we quickly realized that a) who’s gonna write that music?, and b) no, it doesn’t feel like the right thing. And then Shonda, I think a day or two later, came in with the idea that we would use these iconic songs.

Wilson (Dr. Miranda Bailey): But the studio wasn’t quite on board with this whole idea.

Convincing a Skeptical Network

After coming up with the episode’s plot and deciding that the characters would sing classic songs from the Grey’s soundtrack, like Snow Patrol’s “Chasing Cars” and the Fray’s “How to Save a Life,” Rhimes pitched the idea to the network — but, in a surprising first, she was told that they were going to pass.

Rhimes: By that point, I wasn’t getting notes on anything; nobody was saying no to me about anything. So it was really bizarre to me that there was all this resistance to doing a musical episode. And I remember somebody at the network saying, “Can’t you just do one of your love-triangle thingies again?” And I thought, my head’s gonna explode, because the show is not a bunch of “love-triangle thingies.” You guys have missed the point entirely. I felt like, no, every year of the show is a completely different show, and this year the show has a musical episode. And that’s the story.

McKidd (Dr. Owen Hunt): Tony, Joan, and Shonda basically said to us, “We are trying to convince Disney to give us actual money to do this musical episode, and we feel like we want to do a show-and-tell to show them what this musical episode could be. Are you guys willing to give your time to help us create this show-and-tell?” And we were like, “Yeah, of course.”

Wilson: So we gave them a concert. Sara, Kevin McKidd, and I, along with musicians, got together, and we performed this script that Shonda and Tony Phelan put together. Shonda did the narrating. And we went through what the entire episode would be, based on those iconic songs.

McKidd: I remember Sandra Oh came to the concert for the execs just to be moral support for us. And she became like our groupie — she would stand and cheer and whoop and holler in between all the songs.

Phelan (writer, producer, director, and co-showrunner): Once [the executives] saw it, and saw it could work, then they gave us the okay to do it.

Rhimes: I still feel like they thought we were crazy. But you couldn’t deny the talent in the room.

Getting the Cast on Board

Once the episode was greenlit, the team began the task of persuading a cast full of non-singers to simultaneously sing, act, and — in some cases — dance on screen.

Wilson: The offer was put out on the table from the beginning from Shonda — anybody that’s not interested in singing, you’re not required; you don’t have to do it.

Rater: I think Sandra from the beginning was like, nope.

Rhimes: She looked at me — it was her very deadpan face — and she was like, “I’m not singing.” And I was like, okay! If that’s not your thing, that is not your thing — that’s completely okay. And it didn’t feel like she was afraid to sing or push past this barrier. It felt like Cristina Yang doesn’t sing. And that made sense to me.

Rater: Ellen [Pompeo] has a great voice. She could’ve done more. ... Ellen was very gracious about, like, “I’ll doo-wop in the back; don’t worry about me. Let’s hear Chandra, let’s hear Sara, this is theirs.”

Capshaw (Dr. Arizona Robbins): In addition to Sara having this powerhouse voice, she was always very generous about others and never made anyone feel smaller because of her giant power. But singing with her was like, “Aw, man [laughs], how about you get this one? You got this leg of the race.”

Wilson: Probably the most frightened person was Kim Raver, bless her heart.

Raver (Dr. Teddy Altman): It was super-exciting and terrifying at the same time. We all love singing, but unless you’re Sara Ramirez or Chandra Wilson.

Dane (Dr. Mark Sloan): I don’t fancy myself a singer, so I said, “Shonda, in this particular episode, I want the least amount of lines.”

Rhimes: Eric Dane surprised me, because his voice had this lovely quality to it that was really nice.

Dane: I set her up for a catastrophe, so she had very low expectations.

Starting Rehearsals

For months leading up to the episode, the cast embarked on a grueling series of rehearsals and voice lessons, adding hours onto their already long daily schedules.

Capshaw: I had just had a baby, and I was really taking my life one day at a time. I knew it was going to be a big episode, but, timeliness-wise, it was a tough time. I think I was still breast-feeding.

Phelan: Usually in the writers’ room, you’ve got maybe six-to-eight weeks from the time you come up with an idea to the time that it’s shot. This we needed almost the entire season to plan for.

Raver: It was like riding a bike but then adding, like, six more wheels to it, and you had to kind of figure it out.

Capshaw: We were all bringing our A games. In normal days, it feels like there’s a familiarity, you can feel a little more casual, a little more off-the-cuff, but there was nothing off-the-cuff about this. It was all very high stakes because it was life or death, literally.

There were some silver linings, though.

Dane: We had these little earbuds in our ears, I guess like how you film musicals, so you can sync what you’re mouthing with the music in your ear. And so I went to the sound operator and said, “I can buy one of these earbuds, right? And I can create a content-receiver pack and connect it to an iPod and pipe music into this too theoretically, yes?” And he said, “Yeah, you could do that if you want to.” So I said, “So when I’m performing surgery in later episodes on this show, and I don’t have very many lines, theoretically I could be listening to music, and nobody would know?” And he said, “Yeah, theoretically, that would work.” So I had one made, and I shot many episodes in the surgical theater, sometimes with lines, listening to music, many times.

Filming the Episode

“Song Beneath the Song” revolved largely around the seriousness of Callie’s condition, but there were also some light moments, including a sexy, dance-filled take on “Running on Sunshine” featuring several of the show’s couples.

Capshaw: When Sara and I are in the car in the clouds — oh my god, I’ve never felt so goofy in my life [laughs].

Raver: Scott Foley [who played Teddy’s love interest Henry] and I had so much fun working together. He’s so funny, and so choreographing that dance singing number was really fun.

Wilson: Debbie Allen sent in Eartha Robinson, one of her choreographers from the Debbie Allen Dance Academy, who I knew from Fame, the television series. So this is who was coming in, teaching us how to twirl. And I was like, oh my god, I’m on Fame!

Early in the episode, McKidd’s Owen sing-shouts at his crew of doctors to “calm down” — a moment that, years later, became a widely shared meme for its over-the-top nature.

McKidd: In the scene, I think it was Kate Walsh — she’s brilliant; she’s a prankster — and Patrick and Eric Dane. And they were all arguing. And I’m sitting there and [the cameras] push in on me and I go, “Calm down.” And they couldn’t keep a straight face. Every time we did a take, they just would fall over laughing. And they were on camera giving me the eye line, and I had to sing this song seriously with those two actors just doubled over, like sidesplitting. It just tickled their funny bones so much. That was one of the hardest acting days of my life [laughs].

Capshaw: For sure, many, many, many shots were taken at Kevin McKidd for his “calm down” [laughs]. ... He really took on the rock-&-roll part of it.

McKidd: My daughter, who’s big on Twitter, she said that “calm down” thing’s like a serious meme thing now, which I guess is an honor. I don’t know.

The biggest moment of the hour came at the end, when Ramirez, a Tony winner for Spamalot, sang “The Story” as Callie fought for her life.

Phelan: When Sara came to Grey’s, she had this idea that she absolutely wanted to be known as an actress not a singer. And so for her first couple seasons on the show, she kind of left that side of her behind. Then, here was Shonda and I coming to her and saying, “No, we want to re-engage that part of you and put it on the show.” And so I think that she got nervous about that ... but to hear that amazing, magical voice come out of her ... that was the moment that was going to be able to sustain the music [of the whole episode].

Rhimes: When she sings “The Story,” I mean — I wrote the episode; I know what’s gonna happen. I’ve seen it a thousand times. It has nothing to do with me. But I always tear up a little bit because of her extraordinary voice and extraordinary performance.

Wilson: What a showcase it was for Sara Ramirez. I’m so glad that she got to share that part of herself with our audiences.

Reading Those Reviews

On March 31, 2011, the episode aired. While it garnered strong ratings, viewers’ reactions to “Song Beneath the Song” were mixed.

McKidd: I think we all went into it with our eyes open, and we knew there was gonna be mixed reviews. Because some people are gonna love it, and some people aren’t. But that shouldn’t stop people from taking a few risks in what we do, you know?

Rater: I remember being shocked that there were people who didn’t like it. I was like, come on!

Capshaw: It didn’t feel like [the reviews] were gonna affect anything either way. It wasn’t gonna be like, “Oh my gosh, that was too silly, and I’m never watching Grey’s again.” It had already found its place in people’s hearts.

Rhimes: I learned very quickly [on Grey’s] that if you’re gonna believe the good things people say about you, you have to believe the bad things people say. So there’s no point in paying attention to any of it. ... Nobody’s gonna like everything that you do.

Phelan: I know there are a lot of people who don’t like it, who felt like it bent the show too much, but it’s season 7 of a show, and if you’re not taking big swings when you’re on season 7 on a show, something’s wrong.

Creating a Legacy

Despite the critical reactions, the episode has developed something of a cult following over the years, thanks to live benefits and TikTok memes. A decade later, its creators all look back fondly on the hour and its impact.

Wilson: [The cast] watched it together, and I remember feeling like, wow, look at what we did!

Capshaw: When we showed up to do that benefit concert, I remember coming out onstage ... and being completely, completely overwhelmed with the people that responded to Arizona in that episode, and to the love story between Callie and Arizona.

Phelan: As a director, it was the biggest challenge of my career to do that, and it’s one of the things that I’m most proud of.

Raver: I’ll be in my car singing along, or at work if we’re in the hair-and-makeup trailer and we’re listening to [the soundtrack], it’s just an immediate flashback. It kind of feels like yesterday.

Wilson: The soundtrack is on my playlist on my phone [laughs]. So I will pop that thing out in a minute, because it’s just absolute happy memories.

Rater: If I’m cooking, that is what I put on. That’s what I tell Alexa to play for me.

Rhimes: I feel like that episode just always reminds me of having so much fun. That was what was really great. We had so much fun. And how much do you get to say that about just being at work?

Dane: As a cast, contrary to what some of the entertainment media might have speculated, we were all very close. We all spent a lot of time together, and a lot of that stuff felt really real to us. It was easy to access because of how we felt about each other off screen.

Raver: I just remember it being such an incredible experience, being able to work with all these incredibly talented actors and creators.

Rhimes: It’s right in my top 10 of episodes we’ve ever done.

Dane: I don’t particularly want to do it again, but I’m glad I did it.

[omegawizardposting]

Overall, I’m actually glad I watched High Guardian Spice. I was kind of putting it off a bit, because, man, did I really not want to slog through twelve episodes of something I’d been hearing, uh, mixed reviews about--but it surprised me in a lot of ways.

The characters aren’t especially deep or complex, but they’re relatable. Each has their own struggles they must overcome. I think, of the main girls, Parsley got the least development, so if we get a season 2, I’d like to see more of an arc for her.

Both Sage and Rosemary have problems that a lot of us can identify with, such as the fear of disappointing your parents, or the absence of a loved one. Thyme is struggling with her father being so far away, and her mother being so very much like her, as well as being an introvert in a group of extroverts.

Snapdragon is another character that really stands out to me. The heart-to-heart they had with Professor Caraway was very sweet, and it reminded me of when I first discovered that I wasn’t being true to myself. Snapdragon’s joy at being told that they had options, that they could change their body and/or their presentation to more accurately reflect their true self, was like looking back on the first time I called myself a man.

What the characters lack in complexity, I feel they more than make up for in relatability--and perhaps, in its own way, that is a form of complexity.

The music was consistently good, although nothing groundbreaking. It did its job. The only other thing I can say about it is that, BOY OH BOY, do they need to work on that sound mixing. The music and sound effects were much too loud, and the voices much too soft. Speaking of voice acting, even the wonkiest of it still wasn’t terrible. It was amateurish, but there were times where that lent a touch of charm to the performance.

The animation has been a big one for a lot of people, and, yeah, it can be a little rough in patches. There are times where it’s obvious they were working on a tight budget--but there are also times, particularly in the last four episodes, where you can tell they put their heart and soul into it. I saw some really smooth animation, some decent choreography, and some nice framing in those episodes. It wasn’t consistent, but the parts they spruced up were important ones.

Other than that, none of the animation is offensively bad. I’d say it’s middling at worst, and has the potential to be great.

As for the story, season 1 has set up a plot that I personally think will be quite interesting, if we ever get a season 2. It’s looking less like a battle of new magic vs. old magic, and more like a battle of both against a type of magic that is extremely dangerous, being pushed and peddled by the wealthy elite of Witch Country. I’d imagine we’ll see references to classism and other forms of inequality in upcoming seasons, which I feel a show like this may actually be able to pull off. They’ve handled other delicate topics well thus far.

In conclusion: I may actually bump my rating up to an 8. The final four episodes really impressed me.

[whiskery-louis]

Pancakes

This is part 2 to Game Night and I think it will be the last! I am thinking about writing out their break-up but I’m not sure.

Luke x reader

Trigger Warning: angst

Please let me know what you think!!

~~~~~~~~

 “What are you doing here?” you moved to block him from coming in, pushing the door closed every so slightly.

His eyes followed your movement and you knew he wasn’t fooled. He knew exactly what you were doing. It was unnerving him watching you after all this time. You used to love that his eyes followed you around the room, but now you were itching to slam the door in his face.

“Your phone.” he whispered.

“What about it?” you snapped.

He just sighed and put his hand in his pocket, pulling out your familiar marble phone case. “You ran out so fast you forgot this in the kitchen. And I-uh, I just wanted to make sure you got it back.”

 He held it for you to take as he reached up to scratch the back of his neck with his free hand. You couldn’t stop your eyes from glancing at the patch of skin that escaped under his shirt as he moved his arms. He cleared his throat when you didn’t take your phone from him immediately, the sound snapping you back to reality.

“Thank you,” you spoke curtly, not wanting to show him any emotion. You reached out and grabbed your phone careful not to let his skin brush yours. “If that’s all…” you moved to shut the door on him but his hand shot out and stopped it. The metal of his rings connecting with the door.

“Y/N wait can we talk?” he eyes searched your face pleading.

“Luke I really don’t think that’s a good idea. It’s been six months and I had a long night. Thank you for bringing me my phone but I just can’t.”

“I brought coffee,” you turned to see him reaching to the little table you had on your porch to pick up an iced drink. “And donuts.” his other hand was now holding a small box. 

You sighed defeated as you opened the door further to let him in.

“You can stay until I finish my drink.”

He shut the door behind him and followed you into the kitchen. You froze in the doorway seeing the contents of the box that you forgot were laid out on the island.

“Shit,” you muttered but before you could turn to stop Luke from seeing your mess from last night, his body collided with yours, spilling the drink all over you.

“Fuck Y/N I’m so sorry. You just stopped and I didn’t…” His voice trailed off as he saw the photos of you and him that littered the kitchen. His eyes went back to you, a questioning look crossing his face. 

You cut him off before he could speak. “I’m going to change. You can sit in there,” you pointed to your living room. “I’ll be right back. Please just don’t touch anything.”

Luke just nodded and went to sit on the couch as you made your way back upstairs.

“Nice shirt by the way!” 

You looked down to see you were wearing his old Nirvana shirt, the first one he ever gave you and mentally cursed yourself for choosing to open that damn box last night. You rifled through the pile of clothes on your floor looking for your familiar oversized sweatshirt. Once you located it you took off Luke’s old shirt and shrugged on the familiar pale yellow crew neck. Ironically this was the sweatshirt you bought on your flight home from L.A. after your breakup and it had become the thing that you wore to bed whenever you had an off day. Maybe it was because that whole flight home you had cried and the only thing you had that he never touched was that sweatshirt.

You paused to take a quick look at yourself in the mirror and blanched when you saw how disheveled you looked. You sighed and hated that you wished you looked nicer, still not wanting Luke to see you like this. You quickly crossed the hall to your bathroom to wash your face, run a brush through your hair and apply the smallest amount of concealer to cover the blemishes on your face. Feeling slightly better you flushed the toilet to make it seem natural that you were taking longer. 

Closing your eyes and taking a quick breath, you headed back down to Luke. He was sitting on the couch as you had told him too but now he was surrounded by the items that you had stored away in that box for six months. He was looking through a scrapbook that you had made about your trip to Disneyworld, he was so distracted that he didn’t hear you enter the room. 

You stood there for a few minutes in disbelief at what you were looking at. Never did you think that Luke would step foot in your new home. The breakup had been so hard that you swore you wouldn’t give him the chance to hurt you again. You didn’t want to be that girl who took a guy back just because he apologized. Even if he is the love of your life.

Standing here watching him relive some of your favorite memories you began to feel your walls weaken. There had always been something about him that made your insides go soft, the way he always huffed at his hair to keep it out of his eyes, too stubborn to pull it back. You still remember the way his eyes lit up when you walked in a room, how he would always make you pancakes when you had a bad day, and the way his arms felt when they were wrapped around you during a scary movie. 

It was strange seeing him after all this time. You thought your anger at how it ended would overpower you, but instead you felt sadness at what was lost. It shouldn’t surprise you as you were always head over heels for him, all your friends said you were crazy for running off to L.A. to be with the rockstar that you met by chance when he was touring the world. You knew their concerns were valid but you also knew the connection you shared with Luke was stronger. And you were right, for eight months you lived out there and it was eight months of pure bliss. Then out of nowhere he broke up with you and you were on the next flight home. 

And now after all this time you were curious as to what he had to say. 

You crossed the room and sat down next to him, glancing over his shoulder at the pages he had opened in the book. You laughed when you recognized the picture of the two of you riding Dinosaur. It was one of your favorite memories - Luke was screaming and you were turned towards him laughing at his reaction.

“That was one of my favorite parts of that trip.” 

He looked up at you, a slight smile on his face, “Mine is how tired you always were at the end of the days so you would lean on me as we walked out of the park and always fell asleep on my shoulder while on the shuttles. I always loved watching you sleep.”

Your eyes moved from the pictures to meet him. The sorrow you saw was overwhelming, it made you pause and realize you never thought about how he felt when things ended.

“Luke-” you began but he cut you off.

“Please Y/N let me talk. I’ve been trying to figure out how to word this for six months and I need to tell you why I ended it.” He pleaded, his voice breaking at the end. You only nodded your head not trusting your voice. “I need to say how sorry I am for what I did. And I don’t have this epic excuse or anything. I was just being a stupid fuck. I was trying to make myself believe that I wasn’t being a complete jackass. I had convinced myself that you were miserable and you didn’t want to be with me.” His eyes searched yours, begging you to believe him. “After you left I thought I had done the right thing, that I wouldn’t feel so messed up anymore. And it did, but then I buried myself in alcohol, partying, and other girls. Hell that even worked for a time, but nothing could fill the hole in my heart. One particularly wild and embarrassing night, the paps caught up to us. And well...Ashton told me you saw the photos and that’s what brought it full circle Y/N. Even though we were no longer together I knew I had to find a way to tell you why I ruined us. I owed you that much. I wish I had planned what happened yesterday but I had no idea you would be here. The boys told me you had moved in with your college friends and I never questioned it. Never believed that you would move back home and didn’t even realize how close their Airbnb was. I had been living in a trance the last month and I think the boys knew seeing you would break me out of it.”

He stopped here, and reached over to grab your hands. You pulled back at his touch, very unsure as to how you were feeling about everything he just revealed.

“You still haven’t told me why Luke. Why did you end it?”

“I was scared.”

“Bullshit, that’s a coward's answer and you know it.”

“You’re right, I was a coward. But that’s the truth Y/N I swear by it. I was scared of how much I loved you and it terrified me that you could walk out on me one day. So I pushed you away. I convinced myself that I was no good for you. That I was a cancer to your life. I told myself that you were miserable living in L.A., that you missed your friends and family and you were alone too much due to my schedule. I told myself that it wasn’t fair what I was doing to you and that I was ruining your life. So I told you all those lies six months ago so that you would hate me and it worked,” he chuckled darkly.

You were shocked, after all this time you were getting a reasoning behind your heartbreak and it wasn’t what you thought. Or what you wanted. You always assumed there was someone else or something else that he wanted more than you, but he was just scared? He was being raw and honest with you and although it wasn’t a groundbreaking revelation, you knew it was the truth.

“Y/N, can you say something?”

“I’m just processing. Of all the reasons I never thought….” you trailed off as your mind was racing. “Luke I always thought it was because of her. That she was giving you something I wasn’t.”

He grabbed your hands again, and this time you didn’t retract. Your eyes met his and you could see the pain in them.

“That was never the case, she was supposed to just be another stupid escape but when the photos were published I went with it. I thought if I looked happy to the rest of the world that maybe I would start to believe the lie. But once Ash told me you saw those pictures of that night, I broke it off with her. None of the boys knew, but I couldn’t stand the thought of you seeing me like that. She is my biggest regret since pushing you away.” You just nodded slightly. “I really am disgusted with how I hurt you Y/N. You were the best thing that happened to me and I will never forgive myself for making you feel that way.”

“Luke it’s-well it's not okay what you did, but I do believe you. I believe that you were scared of losing me but you should have talked to me about those fears. You were my world Luke, I gave up my life here to be with you and you never asked me to do that. Every decision I made was my own, and you should not have taken my decision away from me. You broke me Luke and I had to pick up the pieces by myself. The past six months have been impossibly hard, but I am stronger because of it. So ironically I should thank you for the pain you put me through. Before you I didn’t know what love was and what it felt like to be loved. I also know what I deserve in a relationship and how I should be treated. You treated me like an equal up until that night which is why it was so hard to accept what had happened. You also taught me to fight for what I want. I should have fought harder for you to talk to me but I was so shocked I just left. So yes, you broke my heart but somehow I’m okay.”

You broke your gaze from his and picked up the scrapbook he was looking at. Smiling at the memories you had preserved.

“You know I haven’t looked at any of this stuff since I moved in here. Seeing you last night was shocking, but I’m glad it was you who brought my phone back. Though I am still going to kill Ashton and Mikey for pulling this shit. I’m glad we talked.”

You looked back at him and saw him staring intently at you once more. A small smile danced across his lips. He reached out and took the scrapbook from you, placing it back on the table. He had his whole body turned towards you, and laced his fingers through yours. It was a familiar feeling and warmth spread from him to you.

“Y/N I know I have no right to ask your forgiveness but I am. I miss you, I miss being with you and I’m here asking - no begging for a second chance to prove myself to you. To prove that I am no longer scared and that I am still worthy of calling you mine. Do you think we could try again?”

The emotion in his voice was evident, he meant every word that he said and you knew if you decided to give him a chance that he would do everything he could to prove himself to you. You could feel it in your bones that he was still in love with you, and you knew that you never stopped loving him. But it was one thing to love him, and another to trust him after everything he did.

“I’m not sure I can forgive you just yet Luke. And as much as I want to forget it all happened, we can’t just pick up where we left off.”

The hope in his eyes dimmed as the words left your mouth. His whole demeanor changed, his shoulders dropped and he let out a small sigh. 

“I get it, not the answer I wanted but thank you for being honest.” He stood to go, obviously feeling uncomfortable at staying any longer. “Thanks for hearing me out, I uh, I hope we can still be friends.” He gave you a slight smile and headed towards the door.

You stood up and reached out for his hand, pulling him back towards you.

“I said we can’t go back to how it was, I didn’t say we couldn’t go out for some pancakes.”

Before you knew it, he swept you into a hug, holding you as close as possible. He pulled back slightly and you saw the biggest grin plastered onto his face as he looked down at you.

“Pancakes sound perfect.”

[the-badger-mole]

Hero to Zero

Sit down, kids. I want to have a rap sesh with y’all. 

There is no such thing as a perfect show. Even if you think there was a perfect show, it’s rare it holds up to multiple viewings. Still, Avatar: The Last Airbender probably got as close to perfect as any children’s show could hope to. All this to say that ATLA is a good show. A great show, even. But it is not a perfect show.  and they missed some pretty big opportunities.

Specifically where Aang was concerned. 

So, here are the Top 3 Opportunities ATLA Missed with Aang:

1. Having Aang actually work for his victory.

If you’ve followed me for literally any length of time, you know that I hate,hate, HATE the LionTurtle/Rock of Destiny Deus Ex Double-Team ( ™ ©  ®) in the last episode. Now, I know some of you think that I- and others like me- just wanted to see Aang kill Ozai. To you I say...

Look, some of my favorite superheros have a no kill policy. I have no problem with the idea of Aang capturing Ozai and having Ozai stand trial. What I have a problem with is the fact that Aang didn’t have to work at finding that solution at all. There were plenty of chances to set up the finale in a way that wouldn’t have made it a complete and utter cop out. It wouldn’t have even taken that much. Aang was confronted by the terrible realities of war all throughout the series. He knew everyone expected him to end the war. He was involved in the deaths a lot of Fire Nation soldiers at the battle in the Northern Water Tribe. At any point, there was room to have Aang face what was expected of him as Avatar and consider what it meant for him as the last Air Nomad. 

What I- and others like me- wanted was not for Aang to become a compunctionless killing machine. What I wanted was to see Aang realizing his duty and working to find a solution that would end the war and keep his values in tact. Instead, he waits until the last minute to consider what how he would end the war, snapped at his friends for pushing the obvious, and (until the magic Lion Turtle arrives) best solution to the problem that the world’s been facing for 100 years, and is rewarded for (let me be frank) his absolute laziness and refusal to accept responsibility.

Aang’s whole arc was supposed to show that he had to stop running away from his problems and accept his role as Avatar. The thing is...he didn’t. He had one moment where it looked like he was ready to stop running and do his job (DoBS), but that moment is robbed of any power by the finale. Why didn’t Aang have this moment then? Why wasn’t the rest of the series spent with Aang putting in work towards finding a solution? As the story stands, Aang looks inexcusably stupid, even for a 12 year old who didn’t grow up with a war. Not having Aang actively working towards a solution, freaking out over the solution presented, and then stumbling on the one being in the whole world that could help him undermines his entire journey. Aang was not the Real Hero of the series. Plot convenience was. 

2. Having Aang learn more about how the war affected his friends personally.

This kind of ties in to my first point, but Aang never really had a moment where he realized exactly what was at stake. Not just for the world in general, but for his friends. Heck, he never really reckoned with what happened to his own people (but we had time for a nonsense Footloose pastiche???). Had Aang made any effort to understand the war from his friends’ perspectives- particularly Katara, with whom he was allegedly in love- it might have occurred to him sooner what they expected of him. 

There’s no real moment of Aang understanding how much Sokka and Katara and even Toph have lost because of the war. He meets war refugees and is there when Katara rescues the earthbenders from the Fire Nation prison ship, but it never sinks in how much damage any of these people have survived. I don’t think I’m asking for that much here. I understand ATLA is a children’s show, but look how they were able to show us the devastation of war and abuse through literally every member of the Gaang except Aang. Even finding out that his mentor had been murdered washed over Aang like a summer squall.

It’s great that he had the perspective of someone who got to live in a world without war, and that he got to be a kid a bit longer than his friends, but at some point it would have been nice to see something stick to him. There were moments where I thought Aang was finally starting to understand the enormity of what the war had done and what it would take to end it (like in DoBS), but then the very next episode would have him goofing off (remember when Aang wanted to take off and play the day after a bunch of people- including the father of two of his “best friends”- sacrificed their lives and freedom for him? Pepperidge Farm remembers.) Nothing seemed to stick to him, which is why his refusal to kill Ozai and lack of preparation with another solution is both infuriating to me and honestly not that surprising at all. Aang is the most static character in ATLA (a show that included Mai, cardboard puppet brought to life by dark magic). He learns nothing. And honestly the fact that he stays the same from the beginning to the end of the series makes him look incredibly unempathetic. Who remains so unmoved by the tragedies of his friends?

3.Having Aang not get Katara and having the hero of a popular TV series handle unrequited love in a mature and realistic way.

Even less secret than my hatred of the Deus Ex Double-Team ( ™ © ®) are my feelings about Kataang. ( Shut up! You knew this was coming. Don’t act brand new). Now, normally, my focus is how bad Kataang was for Katara (the canon did my girl dirty, and I will NEVER forgive or forget), however this time, I want to focus on what the show lost by forcing this pair (Kataang was only developed if you only care about Aang’s feelings. Fight amongst yourselves. My mind is made up on this point).

Avatar: the Last Airbender was amazing in a lot of ways- groundbreaking, even- but it also perpetuates the idiotic myth of the Friend Zone, and those lucky fellas who break out of it. Throughout the whole series, we see that Aang is super into Katara, but the show also drives home pretty clearly that the feeling is not mutual up until that last scene (which makes it clear that the show runners didn’t give a crap about Katara). The showrunners had a golden opportunity here to show a young boy graciously accept that his crush isn’t into him, and remain good friends with her despite the fact that romance is off the table. Instead they chose to push the message that a guy can, through persistence, intimidation (lava fissure anyone?), and a healthy dose of arrogant entitlement, win the girl in the end. It’s not even that this was a terrible relationship for Katara and Aang; it’s that it’s such a boring and typical conclusion for this show to end on. Following through on Aang needing to let go of his unhealthy attachment to Katara would have been a much more powerful move. 

That’s not to say he had to stop being her friend. In fact, I think had he actually let Katara off of that pedestal he’d set her up on, they could have formed deeper bond based on mutual understanding and respect. Instead, we got “Hero Gets the Girl, Because...Hero?” Instead we got a pair that upholds the dangerous Fiend Zone myth, which arrested Aang’s development, turned Katara into a hollowed out trophy wife and produced three maladjusted adult children. It would have been a fascinating direction to take the story...if it had been done on purpose. 

Anyway, kiddos. I’m done here. If I pissed you off, call my lawyers. You can rebut me if you’d like (I’ll be honest,I probably won’t read it if it’s too long), but if you’re rude in my comments, I will delete and block you. Smooches!

[mayasdeluca]

I think some ppl watch shows to just decompress and do not really care about the story in deeper terms (greys for me was that, just passing time), and than there are people that watch because they love to see specific stories/issues and possibly some (good) representation, in a respectful way (there’s always gonna be drama on TV no matter what, that’s literally their job lol)”, but it’s how it’s done that differ) but it doesn’t mean we need to accept it all and don’t bring constructive criticism and just be quiet about it.

Shondalan shows are not really the best things out there, they have a specific audience lol, it sells for what it is, they never sell it for more or less, you know exactly what you are gonna get and most time it’s cheap repetitive writing, and that’s ok too, sometimes I want that and not to think too much, it’s indeed entertainment.

The comment of the other anon is very frustrated for sure but also kinda true especially for show from Shondaland, it’s a problem they have with wlw couple so in that contest yes, it’s not particularly good writing, nothing groundbreaking or even remotely relatable under certain aspects of the story, I think the comment was more aimed to the fact that would be nice at least to have a fresh respectful view of lesbian relationships, without bringing in misogyny, homophobia, stereotypes that are clearly present in the writers room and are inserted in the story some without clear thinking imo.

I understand we don’t know half of what goes on bts/production/network executive, who’s in total control and who takes the final decision, who has the power to do and why, but some things are just clear to us all and social media makes it difficult to hide it nowadays, so I understand we cannot really have an opinion based on 100% facts on what is going on, but only on what we see or what they let us see, and in the case on S19 is a lot, and the amount of ppl that think the same it’s pretty telling..

It’s also true that not everything is gonna be what we want but it doesn’t mean we have to accept offensive writing just because it’s on TV, but each person thankfully has a choice and can switch the tv off any time.

It’s social media that make everything a bit more amplified of course,the good and the bad, especially the bad…S19 isn’t the first show to treat women and queer stories badly and won’t be the last, but we learn and hopefully they learn as it happened with byg (still happening) but this conversation bring awareness to both writers actors and audience, we learn from each other experience and views, and honestly I’m almost more grateful to this than the show, that’s what fandom is; both when we agree or disagree (mostly always respectfully)

I have friends that just go with the flow of a show no matter what, and that’s totally fine, personally I have a limit to my tolerance towards predictable offensive storyline, and S19 crossed that line, but I know it hat I still care about Marina, but for me wasn’t enough probably.

You could say the same about BYG trope, should we just watch it cause it’s TV?

No, no everything is acceptable the same way for everybody, for me, the sperm donor storyline plus the misuse of Carina character, the women in the background, and all the whitemen savior hero part, made this show unwatchable, I was holding onto Marina, but for me ain’t it any longer but I totally understand why ppl keep watching.

I don’t judge people that keep Watching or dropping it, I just think us “gayudiance” deserve better.

Absolutely. It all comes down to what you're looking for in a tv show and why you're watching the show. Some watch to get away from the real world and others are looking for representation and hoping to connect and relate to the storylines the writers are portraying. But it gets tricky when you start expecting things that just aren't going to happen on a specific show. Like you said Shondaland shows are particular in what they bring to the table. They're always going to have that chaotic type of drama and love to put their couples through hell. We honestly should've expected that something like this would happen with Maya & Carina, despite us wanting them to be different more than anything because of the amazing chemistry and connection they had. Most of us watch Greys or know at least all the hell Calzona went through and really all the popular ships on that show so unfortunately Marina wasn't going to be any different once they became a main staple of S19. It sucks and we don't have to accept the disrespectful way they're portraying certain things but I think we also need to realize what they're doing and the harsh reality of the situation and the way they've reacted to our criticism and tamper the expectations and if that's not enough then you have every right to take your viewing elsewhere.

It's also how a lot of people didn't like that a lot of tv shows were writing COVID into their storylines because people like to escape the real world when watching tv and that's understandable as well. Social media has definitely heightened everything for people in all aspects, good and bad. But like you said, not everything is acceptable for everybody and everyone has a different tolerance for certain things so it just depends on the person and the subject and what they're getting out of said show. We definitely deserve better though and this wouldn't even be a topic of discussion if lgbtq+ rep wasn't still so poor all around tv, especially wlw ships in particular.

[aromantic-misguide-to-romance]

Game On! - short review of the Devilgrams

All three Devilgrams have basically the same premise that is easy to guess just by the card art itself - a mock war survival game with paint guns, the difference is only who they were with and with whom they face the final enemy - Leviathan.

Each character plays the game a bit differently though, but as expected, only Mammon wanted to play in first place. The introduction to the plot is generally very natural - shenanigans happen a lot in the House of Lamentation, so no wonder someone's causing trouble again.

I won't be mentioning music as there are only basic game pieces, it's from the times when OM! wasn't reusing music from other games yet.

Let's Settle This!

The Devilgram is rather focused on changing locations, but in general nothing groundbreaking is happening; first introduction to the game, then the game itself. Paradoxically however, there's little of Mammon shown actually in action. The Devilgram has plenty running around, but we don't see Mammon in a battle mode at all.

Which is a huge waste - he's actually good at games requiring quick thinking and immediate reactions, but this Devilgram unfortunately doesn't show that - it rather avoids that and focuses on Mammon himself, but doesn't have an idea what to show about him, so it just doesn't show anything in particular. He's much more interesting in Satan's Devilgram.

The Devilgram doesn't have a kiss option, Mammon is still his old tsun self too. There are some nice exchanges and definitely shows that MC and Mammon share a bond, but it's nowhere close to as straightforward with that as new Devilgrams. So this aspect doesn't make up for the generally not particularly interesting story.

Choices: nothing exceptional, but nothing bad either. Choice + reaction, though here and there the reaction is longer and more interesting. But in general, choices don't change much and unlocking all the options won't bring much additional information about what is happening.

In general, not a must. It's a fun read, but nothing memorable, nothing that would add something to Mammon's image. Mammon is present in other Devilgrams from this Nightmare and the portrayal is more interesting there.

I'll Protect You

While there is plenty of action, there's also plenty of moments to actually observe Satan in a new habitat.

It isn't anything new that Satan has a pretty functional braincell, but here we see it working and the fact that he's thinking and strategising a lot makes the Devilgram quite interesting. Other characters show up as well and make a stage for Satan to react to their actions and lead the story.

While we don't get any clear lore about Satan, the Devilgram shows a less explored side of him as it forces him to act quickly and manage his team, so if you ever wondered how he'd behave in such a situation, it's a perfect story for that.

Regarding romantic scenes, MC and Satan share two short moments of closeness. There's also a hug/kiss option. The moments are squished in-between action scenes, but nevertheless balance all the action a tiny bit with romance.

Choices: choice + reaction mostly, during brainstorming it's mostly choosing one right option when the other options are incorrect answers.

In general, a good read, and lets watch Satan from another angle. Interesting, in my opinion. Very little romantic scenes might leave someone wanting more though and the premise itself isn't anything revolutionary.

Also notable mention, Mammon and Levi. Both make an appearance and probably significant enough for their stans to be interested, as they play a big role and actually have their own clear ways of playing in this Devilgram.

Anything for You

This Devilgram has plenty of action too, but focuses on it even more than the previous Devilgrams - in this one something's happening all the time, no time to rest. However, with Asmo as the leading figure, it's interesting to observe him in the situation as Asmo has his own style of going through the game. If you expected him to whine and complain only, you'd be surprised by how effective he can be as a player.

The only problem is how Asmo and MC are interrupted and dragged into the mess. They had plans for the evening already, he prepared everything in a rare moment of selflessness and then the gremlins raided his room. This can be very annoying especially if that was ticking you off elsewhere in the game. They never really do what he planned, unfortunately, and have to make do with whatever they're left with, after the gremlin threat is neutralised. There's also a kiss option and one other romantic one, in one scene only though.

Choices: choice + reaction mostly, but MC can choose (to a degree) how they play too. It doesn't change much in the plot itself, but makes the survival game more interesting as it drags the player into it more than if MC was simply just tagging along, doing nothing. One romantic choice brings a new albeit short scene.

In general, a very fun and interesting Devilgram. No lore, but we get to observe Asmo in a scenario that'd be otherwise impossible, so I'd say we do learn something new about him.

In conclusion, URs are good, SSR is fine but bland. Both URs give not only a complete portrayal of how Asmo and Satan act in a survival/war game scenarios, each of them expressing different traits and following different strategies. They're fascinating as a comparison too.

Notable mentions: Leviathan in all Devilgrams & Mammon in Satan's.

To be honest, Levi stole the spotlight. Both URs make these two the main instigators and players, while remaining relatively fair to them. Albeit you won't get any sweet moments with these two, it's a worthy read for their stans too if you want to see your fave from a different side and pulled one of the URs.