#i think she is recovering well

[ferulacommunis]

dogs are like the purest souls in the universe bc when I went to sleep and then woke up with my teeth gone and my mouth hurting really bad, I was cranky with the person who caused it (myself) for at least a calendar week but it's day 3 and Zoe took a snuggle nap w me today

[hibanny]

Marcille's artwork + dorm tap and combat animations for the Arknights x Dungeon Meshi collaborative event "Delicious on Terra"

[ploverpaw]

Okay I'll speak a thought

It's hard for me to take 'does Curlfeather deserve to go to The Dark Forest' seriously because I believe the dark forest is an inherently flawed system no cat really deserves to go to

It's hammered in that it's an entirely horrible place to exist in, and there's no incentive or opportunities for cats to change their ways, learn better, or get help if a lack of it contributed to their actions already. And even when they do manage to do so, there's still no hope for them. They're still stuck in Cat Hell, surrounded !!for eternity!! by the unmonitored violence of the other df cats.

The only cat who got close as far as I know was Juniperclaw, who has to serve Starclan in a tunnel forever without ever being allowed to join them.

Seemingly, the only way for these cats to really change their situation from there is by breaking through on their own, usually through the use of violence, so I'm Not surprised the great battle [OOTS] came about.

Not to mention if we go off what we learned of Snowtuft in TBC, they don't even remember what they did to be in the dark forest after enough time has passed, so at that point it seems exceedingly cruel.

Of course these cats, including Curlfeather, deserve to face consequences for their actions, but the dark forest seems like a pointless way of just causing more pain for the sake of it. And it's the same punishment regardless of the crime, while we know many cats who arguably do things of the same severity are allowed into Starclan just fine

I could say so much more I have so many thoughts but I don't want this to get too long

look at this

[katyspersonal]

Lrb dear god, this reminded me of that time when Alfred-chan got sooooo mad at my post explaining why fans should respect bisexual headcanons for Maria and Malenia instead of pretending like they're canonically lesbians and that they get oppressed and erased by mxf ships with them. They kept vagueing that post for like a MONTH in their blog including in tags under reblogs of Maria fanart, passively-aggressively changed their url to character+sexuality to "spite" me and then even made a sockpuppet account to start shit with me in the comments.

They deactivated when me and Val completely obliterated their "you cultivate lesbiphobic following by telling people why they should respect all sexuality headcanons instead of acting cultish or assuming their experiences and stereotypes equal canon confirmation" garbage with actual facts and logic tho but I screenshotted everything fjthfgfj (I learned to document everything the hard way after they've changed the she/they pronouns to they/they pronouns ONLY to accuse me of misgendering, so thank you for making me wiser I guess 😎). Even more vile, as they, a white person, larped as an Arab in that sockpuppet to hold even MORE "privilege" against me in discussion gjtjfh Because for them race, gender or sexuality are just badges of honor and dishonor, they don't see these as traits of actual human beings. And Dr Eugene X, who worked with them and weaponized her race to accuse everyone who disagreed with her of racism, didn't bat an eye at such a terrible act too?? As usual, rules are not for their friends, lol

It is not even the worst thing Alfred did, and yet all of this just, just, JUST because I wrote a point on why bisexual headcanon people did nothing wrong and there is no ground to claim something is canon when it isn't. 🤦‍♂️ Like, they were soooo convinced that I hated lesbian headcanons and that I'd feel angry if they called Lady Maria a lesbian, when what I was angry at is this exact toxic behavior in the fandom. No matter how much you like a headcanon, don't be a bitch about it. Maria doesn't """belong""" to any gender or sexuality, she belongs to anyone who likes her and is invested in her complexity as a character!!!

Yet, apparently, common Malenia simps / Finlay shippers are no better than common Maria simps / Mariadeline shippers. Just, wild how after shit like this, many people have the guts to claim that it is "sexist redditbros" who are the biggest problem of creators in the fandom. 🤦‍♂️ They'd actually blush if they encountered what such self-proclaimed "feminists" do to their own (!!!) over headcanons. 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

[celestialecho]

🌦️&💤

on childhood best friends.

via ill give you the sun by jandy nelson // via the art of ponyo by hayao miyazaki // jack johnson, we're going to be friends // a message from my childhood best friend // mitski, i guess // via a little life by hanya yanagihara // adventure time, island song (come along with me) // via unknown // abba, chiquitita

[throwawayasoiafaccount]

when the long night inevitably ends and the previous social structure has crumbled and both westeros and essos are in chaos, do you want characters who genuinely care about creating meaningful change to be in power, or do you want them to die/not be in power because “feudalism is bad” and therefore these characters who derive some of their authority from the class they belong to cannot hold any power after the long night bc that somehow contradicts one of asoiafs most prominent messages. (despite the fact that many of our main characters suffer due to the current social systems in place)

personally, i’d prefer it if the characters who are able to see the good in the undesirables of society (and protect/empower these undesirables) are able to live on in order to restructure society in a way that protects all people.

to be frank, i don’t think it’d even be possible for the world of asoiaf to return to feudalism after something like the long night occurs.

but the thing is, society needs structure and humanity will naturally restructure itself whether people like it or not. so when spring comes, i want the characters who wish for a better tomorrow for all people to be in power in order to create a better world.

so to everyone who thinks that certain characters being in power only perpetuates the cycle of class violence and oppression, i’d like to ask you what you think is a better alternative way for asoiaf to end.

[lunar-years]

there used to be a fairly popular ot3 trope in the s2 hiatus (I think, or maybe it was literally just one fic I really liked so I'm misremembering, lol) where Jamie would get sick/injured and end up in hospital but he still had Keeley down as her emergency contact, so her (with an angry Roy in tow) would show up at the hospital and become his (on Roy's part, reluctant) caregivers until they all fell in love. I think the idea sort of went by the wayside because it relied on roy/keeley already being together and Jamie eventually joining their relationship, which is no longer the standard route to ot3. But! I think we should consider bringing it back.

[dooxliss]

📁

send 📁 for a random useless headcanon 🔥

not mario this time, crazy

giving the toads more fungal characteristics, they can communicate and pass on information through their own version of a mycelium network. functionally great for a species that seems to be plagued with invasion lately but in practice it just means that they are HUGE gossips and you really have to be careful what you say around one

(certain infections can pass through this as well)

[skyloftian-nutcase]

Imo I’d suggest writing it bc some people haven’t read everything (me tbh) and so idk who ur guys r or what their personalities r etc, but most importantly for u, if u wanna write it then u totally should, no matter what u think other people will think❤️

Anon, thank you LOL, I was going into quite the silly spiral. Anyway, I have A LOT of things to say about blorbos, so I’ll just talk about two who probably won’t get much fleshing out because I write piecemeal for them and their story isn’t really something that’s gonna be on AO3 or anything because they’re backstory characters.

Rambles under the cut :D

Orik/Link, Hero of Power – Born of a Hylian mother and a Sheikah father, Link lost his mother to childbirth and his father to illness shortly after. He was raised in his father’s culture, collectively raised by multiple families that pitched in to look after orphans after the illness that killed many in their tribe. Link went by the name Orik during his childhood, as Sheikah viewed the name Link as sacred, and not to be given to Sheikah children. He liked the name Link, though, and wanted to have something of his mother’s. He kept a shawl she wore and used it as a blanket when he was little, and later as a scarf when he was older. The cloth and the name were all he had of her.

Throughout his childhood, Link could tell that while he was considered part of the tribe, there were some who viewed him as being beneath the others. He once heard his father’s best friend say that Orik was his father’s greatest mistake, and it stuck with him. Link naturally seeks the approval of others (he is a MAJOR people pleaser), and he wants to prove himself to his people, so he strives to be the best warrior in the entire tribe. He makes a name for himself by becoming the youngest to pass the trials into adulthood, doing so at the age of 12. Once he does, this, he basically has to fend for himself now.

When Link turns twelve, his entire life changes. He has earned some respect from his elders, and he’s eager to continue doing so. He was always a quieter boy, and when he becomes a guard, he’s dutiful, obedient, and generally a little shy and not talkative. It makes him come across as either incredibly stoic or unnervingly/annoyingly lifeless. Despite his quiet, demure nature, though, Link is very keen and observant. He’s vigilant of his environment, and is pretty good at getting a vibe for people. However, he’s now forced into a position of responsibility given to adults, and he kind of just… skips over the development he should get in adolescence. Link has spent a good portion of his childhood trying to prepare himself for adulthood before he even became a teenager, so he’s internalized a lot at this point. He keeps his emotions to himself. He bows and obeys. He doesn’t argue, even if he doesn’t like something. It isn’t until Hemisi drags him out of himself, and until the war forces him to step up, that he really starts to come into his own.

As such, Link’s entire life centers around and stops at the war. He was so stifled as a kid, self-imposed but very much affected by his environment, and so the war is both horrible and freeing. He finally stepped forward to make his own decisions when he saw the casualties at the Battle of Hyrule Field, despite King Ozen’s orders for all the Sheikah—his best warriors—to remain at the castle. Link chose to join the war, and when he was going to sneak off to do so, acquiesced to Princess Zelda’s wish to sneak out with him so they could investigate something. What she sought was the Master Sword, as she suspected Link was the Hero, and he only drew the sword because ordered to. Being the Hero to him is a privilege, and granting him the approval and attention he sought as a child, but he really doesn’t know what to do with it once he has it. It does give him something he isn’t used to having: agency. While he obeys his queen, his status as Hero gives him the ability to befriend her as well, not just follow her orders. While he has a heavy destiny on his shoulders, he chooses to fight against Ganondorf, despite his feelings for him, because he wants to do what’s right. His agency slips through his fingers as the war progresses, as he loses himself to the constant fighting, and it isn’t until the war’s end that he feels like he finally has a chance to make his own life in marrying Hemisi, someone he is madly in love with, and rebuilding together.

And it’s all taken away when he has to marry Zelda instead.

Link’s marriage to Zelda… basically destroys him for a long time. He lost Hemisi, someone who treated him like a person and didn’t bother with the formalities and protocols that plagued his life, someone who made him feel like he could break the rules and have fun and be himself, someone he had just gotten back in the war after losing her initially to it, someone who shared his pain in losing a father figure, in having to kill said father figure. He feels like he shackled himself to the throne, having to obey every whim of the queen to make Hyrule look strong. More than anything, though, he feels like he finally did what he’d been trying to do his entire life: the Sheikah were more proud of him than ever, Hyrule adored him and recognized him and his abilities, Zelda needed him… and he felt completely powerless. He finally got the approval he sought and then realized it was pointless.

This, in turn, leads him to completely spiral. What’s the point of his life, if everything he sought was for nothing? He’d never had a father figure in his life until Ganondorf, only to lose him and have to kill him. Hemisi was his entire world, helping him discover himself and he adored her, only to have to abandon her. He’d tried again and again to make the Sheikah proud, and when he finally did he felt like he’d enslaved himself more than ever. And more than anything, it was his choice – Zelda didn’t force the matter. But he’s always done his duty, and really, why wouldn’t he try to help? He wasn’t going to abandon his entire country for his own needs and wants. That’s selfish. He can’t possibly put himself first like that. It’s wrong. It’s wrong.

So why the hell does everything feel so wrong now?

Link spends years trying to figure out his life after this, to figure out who he is and whether he even has freedom or not. He feels like he doesn’t, and given that he never really had a full childhood, he does not know how to cope with it. Despair, confusion, loss, hopelessness and frustration brew into bitterness and anger, and he does not know how to stop it. He’s prone to melancholy, usually being depressed and sluggish, until he’s pushed to a point of rage, because he doesn’t know how else to express his emotions anymore. He was trained to fight and kill. It’s all he knows. And now he’s stuck in a position where that isn’t entirely needed, and he’s not sure what he’s supposed to do aside from bow his head and do everything Zelda says.

He tries to pick himself up. If nothing else, for the sake of the children he made with the queen. They deserve better than what he’s doing. But it takes him years, and a lot of his anger and hurt is focused on the queen since she, buckling under her own pressure, orders him around expecting him to be okay with just obeying blindly since he agreed to the marriage.

Someday, Link learns to live with everything. Sort of. For the most part. At the very least, he learns to live. He focuses on helping the Sheikah, on developing their technology. He gets Terrako as a gift from the scientists for all the effort he puts into it. He tries to rekindle a healthy relationship with Zelda, though that takes much longer as they’re both hot messes with too much baggage to know what to do with. He tries to be a good father for his children. But he struggles hard, and sometimes he gets angry at himself for doing so - he’s not a child anymore, why can’t he just deal with this? (Because you never learned how, Link. You moron.)

Link loses himself when the war ends, what little he’d managed to find. It takes him over a decade to get that back. He doesn’t entirely succeed… not in time for his early death. But he does try. And he looks out for his family and his kingdom as best he can.

Queen Zelda, the Sacred Diplomat – Zelda spent her childhood mostly in solitude. Her father, King Ozen, was the second son of the previous monarchs, and watched his older brother get assassinated because his claim to the throne was viewed as weak both due to his weak magic and the fact that he was a man. As such, when Ozen had Zelda, he flaunted her existence like a badge of honor and a certification of authenticity. Zelda, however, wasn’t really given any leeway to do anything as princess. She was kept in the castle, like a bird in a cage, to be admired and viewed but not touched or spoken to. Her mother died when she was little, leaving her entirely under her father’s rule. While her father was weak and paranoid, though, Zelda has an inner strength that is not to be trifled with, and she dreamed of gaining her birthright and becoming queen.

During her childhood, Zelda really wanted to make sure she was ready to rule, thinking that her father would of course give her the throne when she came of age. She tried to seek his approval as best she could, and while she seemed to get it in some ways because she’s the princess, it never felt completely genuine. So she stepped up her game to be the best princess ever, learning everything of the politics of Hyrule, learning especially how to wield her magic as best as possible. She dreamed of becoming queen, of being the best queen there was, and of protecting and taking care of her people. Her family history and responsibilities were seen as stories of heroes to her, and she wanted to add to that story, proud of being able to take care of so many.

As the years went by, Zelda saw her father systematically tear Hyrule apart by allowing anyone who sweet talked him to gain power. She tried arguing to no avail, and by the time she was in mid adolescence she started to realize that maybe her father did not have the kingdom’s best interests at heart. She tried to hold on to hope, though, until she saw him fumbling the war and not taking Ganondorf’s threat seriously.

She took matters into her own hands. On the eve of her seventeenth birthday, fueled by confidence over the fact that she bore the Triforce of Wisdom, she overthrew her father with the help of Impa and half the Sheikah. Zelda regrets to the end of her days how her relationship with her father unraveled, as he wasn’t always particularly bad to her (they had plenty of good moments, but his paranoia outweighed everything), but she still thought the duty of her family was more important than her father’s approval.

Because of her mostly isolated upbringing, Zelda is very naïve to the emotions of others. She learns how to manipulate people quickly, but can sometimes lack empathy – she will 100% trample someone’s feelings if she thinks she needs to in order to accomplish a goal. She has a compassionate heart, but it hardens if the objective and the emotions clash. Most of the time, it isn’t even on purpose – she’ll order Link to bring their daughter and accompany her on a tour of Hyrule because she knows the people of Hyrule will want to see the royal family, because marrying Link and creating a family was for the benefit of creating stability and bringing hope to her people. She doesn’t bear in mind that Link’s suffering—she doesn’t even realize it for a long time, too caught up in her own stress and duties—or that showing their daughter off to the world to make people happy is exactly what her father did to her. She doesn’t understand why Link is so melancholy initially, and as for her his relationship with Hemisi, Zelda knew they were close, but clearly they couldn’t have been that close if Link chose to marry her anyway, right? Duty comes first anyway.

Zelda struggles in being a mother. She wants to be there for her children but she doesn’t know how – her parents were never there for her, after all. She spends time with them, nourishes them, loves them, but sometimes the best way she shows she cares is to drag her daughter into politics to teach her so that the nobles can’t take advantage of her, and Link hates that.

As for her personal feelings for Link, he’s one of the first people around her age to ever act normal around her. She loved his friendship during the war, and she doesn’t understand why it’s changed – she knows she isn’t necessarily in love with him, and that he isn’t in love with her, but he agreed to the marriage, so why is he acting like he doesn’t like it? It was his choice, after all. This frustrates her, and sometimes she can’t help snapping at him when he seems to be slacking off. After all, she’s got nobles nipping at her heels trying to take back the power she’s slowly siphoning away from them, given to them foolishly by her father. Sometimes Link helps her out, but most of the time he’s still struggling with his own issues and trying to raise their children while she’s consumed by her desire to take care of everyone. Zelda finds her happiness through protecting others, and she really enjoys the satisfaction of seeing her plans work, and it can make her enjoy manipulating people a little too much sometimes. Despite this, she genuinely wants what’s best for Hyrule, and she wants to make her husband happy too, even if she’s not sure why he isn’t already. (Talk to him, Zelda. Talk to him. Oh, wait, they both suck at expressing their emotions.)

Zelda is not a trusting person. She has too many enemies for that. So she keeps her thoughts and feelings close to her chest, which can cause hiccups with Link. However, she trusts Impa implicitly, considering the Sheikah chief literally had to overthrow the king and her own people in aiding Zelda’s coup. Impa fills the void of a mentor and mother figure for Zelda, and she is eternally grateful for her counsel, but sometimes, having been told her entire childhood that she knows nothing and should keep her head down whenever she tried to advise/talk to her father about matters, she gets fairly defensive. She does not appreciate being corrected by anyone aside from Impa, and she can get a bit dicey about it even with the Sheikah chief sometimes. But she tries to recognize that wisdom means knowing when one doesn’t know something – it’s just a sore spot for her.

Despite her not trusting easily—at all—and despite her having a difficult time figuring out what’s wrong with Link, she does try to reach out to him multiple times to extend an olive branch. Sometimes she rescinds it with her own mistakes, and sometimes he smacks it out of her hand with his own flaws. But eventually, they rebuild a friendship, partly with the help of Impa being injured in an attack organized by Ozen’s loyalists (nobles who know he’ll give them power if he’s back on the throne) – Link and Zelda both love Impa dearly, and they’ll put aside any differences to protect her (Link will burn the world to the ground if he has to, Zelda will temper that but inadvertently cause emotional damage, Link will temper her lack of empathy in turn).

In the end, Link and Zelda have similar backgrounds with very different results. Both wanted to prove themselves, one to his culture by becoming the best warrior and a dutiful servant, the other to her father and herself. They both have a lot of grit. Link’s far more sensitive, basing his identity on the approval of others, while Zelda bases her identity on her ability to take care of her people. This means Link was drowning when he got married and realized that the approval of others only left him feeling more enslaved than ever and unable to make decisions for himself, while Zelda was thriving when she got married because she was doing everything to save everyone. The roles reversed as time passed, when Zelda started to wonder if her efforts truly were worth it when problems continued to arise and she saw Link suffering, while Link started to step up and try to take advantage of the situation he was in and help Zelda.

[thisfirelight]

More heartache (Edelthea edition)

[thevegetablewhichnoonedaresname]

if i finish writing my fic about chilchuck teaching marcille to knit it'll be over for you guys

[frascospecimen]

Wow people really like the anemone girl LOL

[puhpandas]

Veering Off Course

(2,305 words)

Gregory and his family get a call that Vanessa, whos in a different state for college, has gotten hurt. Gregory calls Evan, and Evan is able to use the things he's learned about himself since meeting Gregory to help his friend with his emotions regarding the situation.

Its early in the morning on a Saturday when Evan gets the call. It woke him up, so all he does is blink groggily and swipe at the screen blindly while propped up on his elbow until his thumb hits 'answer' on his phone. "Hello?"

"Evan." It's Gregory, and the serious tone to just that single word clears up Evan's brain as fast as lightning. He scrambles to prop himself into sitting up and rubs at his eyes with one hand.

"Gregory?" Evan asks, looking at the little icon he set for Gregory's contact of a picture of Evan and him at an amusement park. "Is everything okay?"

It takes a second for Gregory to respond, and it causes the anxiety that had steadily began to bubble inside of him to surge. "Gregory?"

"Sorry." Gregory finally answers. "I-- Uh... can you..." His friend struggles for words, and Evan tries to be as patient as possible as it becomes clearer every second something is wrong. "Can you come over? Like right now?"

Evan flounders for words for a second, but manages to force his mouth to say, "Of course."

"Okay." Gregory replies, and a surge of worry shoots through his chest when Gregory sounds like he might cry. He takes a breath on the other end, then, "Please hurry."

After that, Evan only lingers enough to respond with a short confirmation and goodbye before hanging up the phone. It takes him record time to shoot out of bed, sling on some shoes, and get down the street a few houses to Gregory's own.

His mind had played multiple awful scenarios of what terrible thing could have happened the entire time, but his worry does not ebb when he makes it to the porch and knocks on the door to a teary eyed Gregory.

Evan's immediately herded inside. Freddy has his phone in his hand pressed up against his ear, and he's pacing around the room. Aunt Chica and Aunt Roxy sit in the living room. Bonnie is sat in a dragged-over dining chair by Freddy and frowning.

It's dead silent in the house; even the TV and seemingly endless energy flowing through and causing bustling noise is snuffed out to nothing. Evan watches as everyone sits completely seriously and quiet, hands held in their lap or thrumming against something.

Impatience, is what Evan first thinks of. They're waiting for something. News, maybe? Freddy is on the phone. It's so silent you could hear a pin drop. Or somebody else's phone vibrate.

Evan's dread and anxiety only get worse when Gregory shuts the door behind him and tugs on him a bit. Evan follows without struggle, thousands of words and questions on his tongue when Gregory leads him to one of the unoccupied seats in the living room; a loveseat.

He sits down with him, and Gregory's face is scrunched up in barely restrained worry. Evan watches his friend, who's been an anchor for himself for so long, tremble and hunch in on himself. "Gregory?"

Gregory's eyes dart to him, and Evan leans down, hunching forward with his elbows rested on his thighs like theyre their own personal bubble. Evan's own brows furrow, and he feels the familiar thickness in his throat just at watching his friend be upset.

Evan grabs at his hand, squeezing it tight and lacing their fingers together. "I'm really worried, Gregory... please tell me whats wrong." Evan pleads. "Please?"

Gregory nods unsurely after a moment, and Evan watches him swallow thickly before turning to him fully. "Dad got a call from the University of Oregon today."

Evan's brows raise, but he nods to keep going. The University of Oregon is the college Gregory's sister, Vanessa, had left home to go attend. Evan hasnt gotten the chance to meet her, yet. She's already been gone two years strong, with a seemingly bright future. Evan's heard Gregory and his family talk about her enough to know her talents.

Gregory's breath hitches, and Evan wraps his other hand around Gregory's, the one he already has ahold of. He sandwiches it in-between his own and hopes it's enough comfort.

"Somebody called us and told us Vanessa got into a car crash today. On campus."

It's like a bucket of ice water is poured on Evan's head. His feet go cold, and his eyes widen to saucers. Fear shoots like an arrow through his stomach. When he stops reeling from the news, he watches Gregory begin to shake and lose the carefully gathered composure he'd put up since Evan arrived.

"They said..." Gregory's brows are furrowed so much it looks like it hurts. Theres a clench in his jaw and a wetness to his eyes Evan isnt used to. "They said she's already been taken to the hospital and is in surgery." He frowns, and theres a twist in his lip that Evan is so familiar with. "They... a-all we can do is wait. They told us they'd let us know any updates."

The house is thrown back into such jarring silence after Gregory stops talking that Evan's ears start ringing. Which makes it clear as day when Gregory's breath turns harsh beside him.

Evan tears his eyes away from the floor and ignores the twisting feeling in his chest to look at his friend. He has his face buried in the hand that isnt held by Evan and is shaking in a way where you can tell theyre trying so hard to keep it together. Gregory's angled away from him, but Evan can see the panic on his face even from where he can see.

Evan's breath hitches, and the thickness in his throat begins to turn into burning as he scootches closer to Gregory on the couch and sets a hand on his shoulder. He tugs a bit until Gregory gets the message and let's him wrap his arms around his middle and hold him close.

Gregory makes some sort of horrible, upsetting hitching noise that causes the dam to break for Evan, before he sort of flops against him and brings up his own arms to clutch at his T-Shirt. Gregory's head thumps against his shoulder, and it's one of the only times Evan really becomes aware of the height he has on his friend.

"Its okay..." Evan says into Gregory's shoulder, because it's all he knows to do in the moment. He glances around and sees that Gregory's family has shifted to the dining room, leaving them alone. Evan finally feels the tears slip from his eyes as he presses closer, hugging him like his life depends on it. "Its okay, Gregory. It'll be okay."

"It's--" Gregory says, and Evan can hear how much his voice shakes with barely contained tears. "Its not. I can't-- We can't even go see her. We can't go and wait for her to wake up, or anything... we just have to--" He cuts himself off, and Evan feels Gregory shake harshly against him.

"We just have to sit here." Gregory says, voice thick. "I dont know what to do, Evan. I don't know what to do."

And its only that sentence that causes Evan to grapple at what to do, if his friend can't. And all he can think about is how himself would react if it were Gregory getting hurt.

All he'd be able to do is cry, he realizes. He wouldnt be able to do anything. Just wait and be scared.

But that's what Gregory is getting at, isnt he? He can't do anything. That's the thing. Evan has known Gregory long enough to get him. To know, him. Evan knows that Gregory doesnt sit around and cry like Evan does. He prefers to get up and do something about whatevers wrong.

Hes a problem solver instead of waiting around. A fighter instead of a crier. No wonder hes so bent out of shape about this. To have a loved one in danger, and when you're so used to getting up and making a plan to fix a problem and are forced to sit in standby...

Evan eases them down against the cushion of the couch, not once untangling themselves from eachother. Gregory shakes, but he does not cry. "So what would you do if you could?"

The hair from Gregory's bangs brushes against Gregory's neck as he moves his head. "I'd... I don't know. I'd at least try to get to her." Gregory says, voice unbelievably quiet. "At least get to her. Then figure it out from there. Just so I'm not waiting on phone calls."

Evan nods against him, his chin scrunching up Gregory's hair. His tears have long since stopped falling, but he knows he has dry tracks on his cheeks. "You have a plan."

Gregory makes some sort of noise that would sound like a snort in any other circumstances. "I would if I could." Gregory replies, squeezing his arms a bit tighter. "But I cant" He sighs, shuddering and heavy. "I just have to wait."

Evan hums. "You're worried, and you're stressed." He makes the same noise Gregory just did. "I know how you feel... I really do. Maybe not your exact situation, but... I get what it's like to feel helpless." He says. "You know what I would do?"

Gregory hums this time, questionative. Evan rubs circles into his back. "I'd sit there and wait, and wish for it to different. And when it wouldnt be, I'd cry."

Gregorys head shifts against that crook between Evan's chin and chest, almost like hes trying to look him in the eye but the hug prevents him from being able.

"All I ever did was cry." Evan says when Gregory doesnt respond. "Its the only thing that I could do to cope."

"...So..." Gregory asks, and his voice is thick again. "You mean..."

"You're stressed." Evan answers. "You're stressed and you're worried. So... why dont you let it out?"

Evan, out of anyone, knows how valuable emotions can be. He didnt, once upon a time. When everyone would just tell him how annoying it is. How useless it is. How he's asking for it. How he should have toughened up by now. When instead of comfort, he'd receive ridicule and prodding.

That's changed. Ever since a certain someone entered his life. He doesn't think of his emotions, himself so little anymore. So worthless. So maybe that's why Gregory perks up ever so slightly in understanding.

And that's all it takes.

Gregory's trembling turns into shoulder shaking sobs like the snap of a finger. He cries, open and unadulterated, and Evan just hugs him close and rubs his back, offering reassurances like Gregory has done for him so many times.

His own eyes burn when his best friends sobs are heard so openly and he can feel every shudder of his body. Evan's chin scrunches, and the tears fall right along with Gregory as Evan hugs him close, tucking his face into his hair.

"Im--" Gregory cries. "I-Im just so worried about her."

"I know." Evan responds, his own voice breaking as he pets Gregory's hair. His shirt is damp with tears but he doesnt care. "Itll be okay. It'll all be okay."

They stay like that for a while, and Evan can tell Gregory needs it. He needs it. The worry he felt that morning doesnt ever really leave, and it stays ever-present as Evan watches his friend fall apart. They stay stuck together like magnets, eventually only shoulder to shoulder with linked hands on the loveseat, and none of Gregory's family try to peel them apart when they eventually wander back into the living room.

They stay in a state of constant agonizing limbo all day. At 8:00pm, Freddy calls it a night. Gregory protests immediately, but Aunt Roxy calms him down almost seamlessly and convinces him to go to bed.

Of course, Evan follows him. He cant imagine a world where he doesnt. The air mattress stays deflated in Gregory's closet as it has been most of the time nowadays. All Evan has to do is kick his shoes off since he left home in his pajamas anyway and they're wrapped around eachother, tucked in Gregory's bed under his comforter in the dark.

Gregory is silent all throughout the night, even though Evan knows he's awake. Evan just hopes that... he did the right thing. Something knows is that suppressing how you feel isnt good. It never works. No matter how much you want it to.

Gregory taught him that. He just wants to return the favor. Not because he owes Gregory, no. Gregory has long since hammered it into Evan's thick skull that he has nothing to pay him back for. That his kindness is not a deed to Evan, but rather that Evan himself deserves to be treated kindly.

Gregory does, too. Evan knows this with all his heart. Gregory is his best friend and has done more for him than anyone else ever has.

Evan... all Evan did was change. Change for the better. And hopefully he helped the most important person in his life with the things he learned. The things that person taught him.

He hugs Gregory's middle a little tighter, not daring to break the silence. Gregory needs time, but doesn't want to be alone. Evan understands. He does. He just hopes to convey what he truly feels through the one action.

Thank you. I'm here for you. I'll always be here. You're my best friend. I'm so glad you trust me. I trust you as well. So much.

Gregory himself wraps his arms tighter around Evan in turn, and Evan feels like the single movement lso has a deeper meaning he cant read.

They dont speak. They just lay in silence until eventually they fall asleep, stuck together like two puzzle pieces.

ao3 link

[gideonisms]

I do think that not being allowed to be a little grumpy and unreasonable in private without someone noticing would give me new unique kinds of neuroses though. I have always wished the imperial radch books examined breq's surveillance of her crew more in the later books because the common radchaii habit of being intentionally oblique/people from other places being more oblique and unreadable when talking to someone from the radch irritates breq frequently but seems to me to be the natural result of constantly being monitored. breq may be causing some of her own interpersonal issues here

[windy-apple]

Mr. windy-apple and I helped a friend of his pickup/move a couch earlier today. She is recovering from a stroke and was telling us about her experience with that.

She had the stroke, didn’t realize that it WAS a stroke and then went on a cruise for like a week? She was ill the entire time.

When she got back she went to the doctor and they did an MRI and saw what happened. I believe she said the MRI showed multiple pulmonary embolisms. She was in the hospital for two weeks, had to do months of physical therapy, and is just now getting back to normal.

Meanwhile, I’m in the backseat of the car going “oh my god….OH MY GOD” while she’s explaining all this. Goodness.

[seaweedstarshine]

Okay so The Star Beast was fun and I'm hyped for Wild Blue Yonder and everything but I am shattered over the new episode of Eleventh Doctor Chronicles.

Broken Hearts is some of the best dark!Doctor Expanded Universe exploration I ever consumed, and that includes The Eleventh Doctor Year Two comics. I am sobbing. I am in tears. I am broken as thoroughly as the Doctor broke Valerie Lockwood.

Me when I can't find any Broken Hearts/Curiosity Shop stan posts to reblog or fic to read to get out the angsty energy...

(fic. I'm writing fic. and yes this is an open request for reading recs)