#i think my explanation sucks but i can't think a better way to say it sorry anon

[savebylou]

hi cc, what is the idea of you and what are people hating on it?

Hi anon. I will put my answer below because is too long and I'm unable to explain it short.

The idea of you is a book that now is having a screen adaptation on prime, here is the trailer. Acording to the author Robinne Lee she was inspired by a guy in a boyband, here is her quote:

A few years ago, my husband was away on business and I was up late surfing music videos on YouTube when I came across the face of a boy I’d never seen in a band I’d never paid attention to, and it was so aesthetically perfect it took me by surprise. It was like…art. I spent a good hour or so Googling and trying to figure out who this kid was and in doing so I discovered that he often dated older women, and so the seed was planted. When my husband returned a couple of days later, I joked with him that I’d found the perfect guy and I was leaving him and our two kids, “oh, and by the way, he’s half my age.”

So basically initially she was inspired by Harry Styles, here are some tweets of her talking about the character. Then in other interview mentions that is a combination of different guys:

I made him into my dream guy,” she told me, “like Prince Harry, meets Harry [Styles],” plus a couple of ex-boyfriends, a little of her husband, and a dash of Eddie Redmayne.

I think the movie is being controversial because first is inspired by Harry dating older women since he was younger, according to the author the character is 20, but the womaniser image that Harry had and that likes and dates older women and this image started when he was 17, a minor.

This idea of Harry liking older women, just reduce him as an artist just to that image that has been know for the general public is just frustrating. And also in the articles and social media talking about the movie they had been making the comparison between photos of Nicholas and Harry.

Nicholas said this quote about if the character is inspired by Harry Styles:

“We tried to create a character that felt, you know, a kin to Harry in a sense that he’s a younger man dating older women. It was important to create someone who felt new and original and not a shoddy impersonation of this person.”

Anything that mentions Harry Styles will always bring attention and clicks so the promo of the movie know what they are doing, and this is nothing against Nicholas, the book is just inspired by Harry and the movie is promoted with that idea.

Now the second problem is that the songwriter and producer of the album of the movie of this fictional boyband is Savan Kotecha. If you are not aware he is a producer and songwriter and was involved with One Direction since The X Factor and work for the first two albums of the band. Savan is a person not liked in the fandom, because he basically never wanted the boys to be part of the songwriting, he saw the band as this machine, never saw the boys as artists and said awful things about Louis. He is one of the persons responsable that Louis didn't get that much solos, read this transcript for more info.

Savan also in that interview explains that couldn't see the boys as this grown young adults that wanted to write songs, because he knew them since they started and didn't think they would have the ability to do so (he was wrong as we know). So Savan left after the second album, now his association with this movie that is related to Harry and 1D is his way of trying to stay relevant again in the fandom.

This is my perspective, but anyone can have a different POV of what the movie is hated and probably they would explain better than me. Sorry for the long response as you can't see I can't write short answers.

[catboybiologist]

Hey it's a life update that probably no one cared about or asked for

tl;dr: I'm likely quitting my PhD via mastering out, and leaving my program in June.

sappy, overly emotional vent/explanation:

I'm wrapping up my first quarter as an out-of-the-closet trans woman. I've had some serious conversations about where me and my work stand. This was always my intention after coming back from my summer hiatus/social transition: see how "reentry" works, and then assess from there.

For those that don't know, PhDs in the US take 5-7 years. Oftentimes, however, they either give you a master's along the way, or give you an option to quit halfway through with a master's. I'm in my 3rd year and have more than enough to use that option. I've toyed with this idea before, but it feels a bit different now. Last year, I was burned out from science, my project was failing, and I was under constant stress of boymoding and remaining in the closet. Now, I'm out and proud, and I deeply love my project and find it exciting. I fixed some things.

Unfortunately, I have a recurrent problem. Whenever something goes wrong in my life, the first thing to drop off is my ability to drive forward my own thesis project in a coherent way. What the actual problems are vary, but that motif stays the same. I could list off what's going on right now, but I think y'all can assume a bit of what a mid-20s, broke, recently transitioned trans woman in the US is going through at the moment. There's a lot of specifics, of course, but I'm not at liberty to say most of it.

So I'm looking around and realizing I have scraps of half finished projects, I've given support and help for other people's projects.... and then made little progress on my actual thesis. It's enough to pull together into a master's thesis, and maybe even another paper or two, but.... not a PhD.

And then there's the other side of it. The nicer reasons. Could I stay here, buckle down, maybe add years to my degree, and get through it? Probably. But honestly? I don't really want to put myself through that now. It used to be that academics was all I had. It was all my failures and all my successes. It's what I threw myself at, because I genuinely had nothing else going on. Since transitioning, the world seems so much more beautiful and rich, so much more complex and vast, with so much more to do in it. I've even had more negative experiences unrelated to academia, and while they've sucked, they've shown me that life is so much bigger than it was before.

To be blunt, to experience more of my life... it helps to have money, and it helps to have career stability. It's not the only factor by far, but certainly one defining moment when making this decision was trying to create a timeline and budget for transition related surgeries, and realizing that its near impossible in grad school.

Not to be dramatic, but I've also had a couple extremely jarring experiences in the past year that are reminded me that life is short. And I want at least some time to enjoy it.

My heart is honestly broken here, and I'm feeling extremely emotional about this. I love my lab, my colleagues, the environment of doing research, and my project. But I'm realizing that it might not be viable, or what makes me the happiest at the moment. I'm genuinely a bit distraught, and I've been crying a lot for the past few days. A lot of me feels like this is what I am, and this is what I'm good for. That I'm failing myself and every mentor that got me here. Some part of me knows that isn't true, some part of me can't let go of those feelings.

But, I know this doesn't mean "never". So many of the people in my program are significantly older than me, coming back later in life to get their degrees. I'm honestly almost positive that I'll come back to a PhD someday if I quit now. In my 30s or beyond, I think that I'll be able equipped to handle it much better.

So what's next?

Obviously, nothing is decided, and I'm just spitballing here. But I'm honestly shocked at how many viable options I have, in a very good way. A cursory scroll of Indeed was honestly therapeutic. As I said, I still love the academic research environment. I just need more money and stability, and would prefer to have a slightly different relationship to the work I do than a thesis project. Ideally, I would want to be a staff researcher in an institute or academic lab. That lets me keep a lot of the things I like about what I do now, while also making literally 2-3 times the money and having a more stable position.There's positions out there that maximize the contexts I'm the strongest and happiest with, while still being more steady and paying more. Hell, even if my responsibilities were identical, but I had more pay, I could probably more effectively address the personal problems I'm going through right now. I'm gonna stay in California for a lot of reasons, and I'm lucky that there's so many options within the state.

I have a bit of an oddball set of experience. I'll actually have two nonoverlapping master's if I do this. I already have a MS in bioinformatics, which was granted by a CS department. But my current program is in more "pure" molecular and cell biology. I'll have 5 years of grad school, 8.5 years of research experience if I include undergrad research, and instead of a PhD, 2 MSs. Which is kinda funny. But it think it helps represent my experience for what it is. I like to consider myself a "full stack" bioinformaticist- someone who can do both the experimental and analysis portions of experiments that produce large data. Hopefully I'll be able to put that to good use.

I have a lot of professional contacts that I'll slowly be reaching out to over the course of the next 6 months while I tie things up. I know this is a wildshot on tumblr of all places, but if anyone has any recommendations, advice, or contacts, I'm all ears- both for professional and job hunt related things, and also the emotional state I'm in right now.

Thank you to everyone that's made up this wonderful community we have online. I hope I'm not letting anyone down. I'll still be a biologist, I'll still be my trans self. I just won't be "Doctor" anytime soon.

[prettybean]

TEASING COD BOYS (+18)

prompt: you like to tease them

* probably I will continue the konig one 🫥

ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE

Ghost

He has an angry expression on his face and appears prepared to kill anyone who crosses his path. Your panties were revealed by your dress riding up slightly. He knew you were doing it on purpose. With his hands, he grasps your hips, adjusts your clothing, and pushes you towards him. “You better behave, you don't want me to fuck you in front of everyone, do you want it?”

Soap

He's too sweet to get mad at you, but as soon as he sees how you're trying to show him your breasts, you see the bulge in his pants. Bite his lips, before looking around, making sure no one was watching. He brings his hands together and squeezes your tits together. A moan leaves your lips and someone turns in your direction, making you blush. “See love? better not to tease."

Price

During a business meeting, you came up with the idea to gently massage his thigh from behind the table. He glanced at you with a slight blush on his face, and continued to give her soldiers a detailed explanation of the next mission. Your hand moved upwards, touching his bulge, causing the captain to gasp.

He will ensure that everyone hears your moans from his room at the end of the meeting, fucking you hard to release his tension.

Gaz

He can't sit still. Your legs opening slightly while you were talking to his friends made him go crazy. Immediately after your hands caressed your own thighs, he quickly stomped his foot on the floor. Kyle's almost threatening look is immediately noticed by your friend, leading them to decide that it's best to leave. “You were doing it on purpose huh?” You look at him with a teasing smile. “You can only open those legs if my face is between them”.

Graves

He was completing his paperwork and conversing with his colleagues about upcoming enemy actions. Your hands rubbed over his shoulders while he sat. Your weak grinding against Philip was unnoticed by him due to his attentiveness. Or at least you thought so.

He grabbed your wrist and made you sit on him, holding onto your hip with his other hand and causing you to ride his leg in front of everyone. “Do you enjoy playing, huh? I want to have fun too then."

Alejandro

You were just a rookie and he helped you with your weekly training, along with all the other freshmen. “You should go down with your back”.

You followed his advice by arching your back and raising your ass in the air. “Oh Dios mío” you heard him say softly, as you continued to show your ambiguous position. “Okay, let's take a break,” Alejandro said, trying to hide his bulge.

König

He don’t talk to you much, well, he don’t talk at all, which was why you loved teasing him in every possible way. Every time you walked up to him and whispered something dirty to him, you were delighted to see his immediate reaction: he awkwardly walked away and insulted you in German.

Today was one of those days, you leaned close to his ear “I bet you have a huge cock, I mean, I hope so” This was too much for him, he grabbed your wrists with one hand, pushing you against the wall. “Why don't you find out?”

Keegan

You go out for a drink together, order two cold beers and start talking about your day. Keegan seemed focused on his story, but all you could think about was how handsome he was. you poured more beer into the glass, before bringing it to your mouth. You sucked on the top of the bottle, running your tongue against it.

Keegan's speech suddenly stops.

“Fuck, next time you do this I'll make sure my cock is in your mouth.”

[comment-day]

Commenting on Fanfic Themes

Remember when you were in literature class and your teacher was droning on and on and ON about themes, but the only thing you could think of is-

Understandable! Especially when you weren't interested in the book or short story (I'm looking at you "The Awakening" by Kate Chopin).

And if you had a teacher that sucked? Yeah, can completely see why you would snore through the whole explanation of why themes are important. I certainly did!

But at the heart of it, themes are such an important part of all writing! Even fanfic! It's basically just asking yourself the question "What was the story trying to say?" or "What was the point?"

And every story has them, even Fanfic. And you will find that pointing them out often helps you convey to the author what you loved about the fanfic.

Reading a story about a lonely kid getting a dedicated group of found family? Maybe a theme of that is how blood isn't the only kind of family. Or that loneliness is only temporary. Or that the world gets better.

Reading a story where two men who loathe each other fall head over heels in love? Maybe the story was saying that first impressions aren't everything. Or that people change for the ones they love. Or that you can't let pride get in the way of being vulnerable.

So, here is a very simple format for how you can comment on the theme of a story, without having to write a five paragraph high school essay!

"I noticed the theme of _______ throughout this story. When Character did _______ it really highlighted the theme of ________ and I thought it was a really nice touch."

Let me show you an example.

"I noticed the theme of loneliness throughout this story. When Tommy was in a room full of people at the big party, yet was thinking about how he couldn't connect to them, it really highlighted the theme of loneliness and I thought it was a really nice touch."

Congrats! You have now commented on a theme of the fanfic! And I can guarantee it made the author's day. It's really that simple.

"But wait, what if that wasn't a theme the author intended and I just look dumb!" My friend, high school cannot hurt you here. You will not be graded on picking out the correct themes from a piece of fanfic. You aren't trying to be the smartest person in the room and make up groundbreaking theses about Shakespeare, you are just picking out what you loved. You are just saying how the story spoke to you! There is no right or wrong answer. Not even the author's intent can change the way it made you feel.

[webslingingslasher]

i would suck dick for comfort most definitely sorry not sorry

the fact i got all these back to back 😭😭😭

kinda diff but same idea?

smutty content under the cut!

it's funny cause it would blow his mind that, that's what you want.

when it first happens you had a real sucky day and the only thing you felt like you were good at was making peter cum so you're all pouty and miserable watching him mercilessly kill opponents on his computer screen.

rolling your cheek to rest on the back of your hand, your front stretched across his bed.

"can i suck you off?"

you can hear a shout, muffled from his headphones.

'ayeooo, what the fuck?!'

you feel your cheeks warm, peter untucks an ear.

"what'd you say?" he couldn't believe it himself. you've never been so blunt when asking for him. he must have misheard.

you blink innocently, "mute me?"

peter taps his keyboard, you hear another roar, 'ayeoooo!'

"can i suck you off?"

his eyes flick to his bedroom door, his aunt's right outside on the couch. you've never been this risky before, "right now?" you lick your lips, "please?"

peter thinks it over, it should be a no brainer but his nightmare is his aunt knocking on the door while he's in your mouth. it doesn't matter, he'd be an idiot to say no.

"i..." several clicks, his screen goes blank, his headphones tossed on his desk. "yeah, okay." sitting up you grin, making grabby hands when he finally stands. 

"no! where go?" dropping into a pout when he walks towards his door, his fingertips flick the lock, you exhale an 'oh'.

peter raises an eyebrow, "are you okay?"

"no. yes. i feel shitty and i really want to make you cum, is that okay?"

peter cannot think of one scenario it wouldn't be okay.

-------

the second time is like the first, you figured it was a one one time thing, that you were in a funk and needed something to make you feel like you were good, and making peter feel good made you really feel good.

but now, after the third time you still couldn't understand what he was trying to explain, words and numbers going over your head; it felt like your head was about to explode.

your boyfriend's doing the best he can and doesn't deserve your frustration. you can't clear your thoughts, everything swirling in one jumbled mess and his explanations going nowhere. he's moving his mouth but all you hear is static.

all you needed was something to clear your mind, then you could truly focus and be nicer to peter. you needed something that would make you feel good, you needed... peter.

"same idea, you take the mean and multiply it by the val-"

"can i suck you off?"

peter's jaw drops, his eyes flicker from the notebook in front of him to you. "i'm sorry?"

your hand pulls at his waistline, "can i suck you off? i need something to help me focus." he doesn't say anything so you unbutton his pants, shifting in your seat at the kitchen table, preparing to hit the ground when his hands stop you.

"woah, okay, hold on. first off, i'm not sure if sucking my... i'm not sure if doing that will help you focus. second, at the kitchen table?"

nibbling on your bottom lip you shy away, you didn't think he was judging in a mean way, just in a 'he wouldn't do this' way.

"um, yeah, you're right. sorry."

peter doesn't like that you're being shy, watching you pick up a pencil and panic as you try and figure out what you definitely weren't listening to; his mind flashes back to the last time you asked on a whim.

"you doin alright, lovie?"

it's like you jolt away, "oh! um, yeah! just thinking."

"you sure? cause if you need a quick bedroom break i wouldn't mind."

it's like he just offered to take you to the moon. your head flips to him, stars in your eyes.

"really? cause i'm like," you make a line over your head with your hand, "up to here with information overload and i'm being kinda mean and i don't wanna be. i just need to clear my head and i dunno, it made me feel better last time."

when peter first got into the relationship he thought he struck gold. he some how got the prettiest person in the entire school to not only hit on him but like him enough to claim him officially. but he never actually thought about sex logically, because there was no way you would ever want to do that with him, until you reached your boiling limit and with tears in your eyes asked him why he thought you were ugly. then it became very clear you wanted, and like today, sometimes needed him like that.

so when situations like this happen, when he can't even believe it's real cause not even in his wildest dreams would he imagine his life being anything like this, he has no idea how to react. because, what do you mean you need to suck his dick?

"peter?" he's gone silent, you think the offers off the table. "it's okay if you don't feel-"

"i just don't get how it makes you feel any better. i mean, i'd get it if you wanted me to go down on you or if you wanted a quicky but i don't see how getting me off helps you. but if it does, i won't complain."

you can see his point, it does seem kind of odd.

"i think cause whenever you do stuff to me i just kind of get in my head. like, 'do i smell good, do i taste good, did i forget to shave, am i pulling his hair too hard, am i being too loud, too quiet? all those things. but when i do it to you, all i can think about is you and making you happy."

"so... when you..." his hand rotates as he skips over the words, you fill in for him, "suck your dick," he nods, "right, it makes you feel better because suddenly the only thing on your mind is me."

you nod, "correct."

"that's wild." his back hits against the chair, "also, not cool you're all freaked out when we have sex. not liking that."

you grab his shoulders in exclaim, "no! not like that! just, fleeting thoughts, i guess. but ninety eight percent of the time all i can think about is you."

"not risking the two percent?"

"i'd rather not."

"alright," peter knocks on the table, "now we got that out the way, from now on, you can please me whenever you want." he never thought he'd say those words.

"so... now?"

you cheer when your boyfriend stands, he gives you a pointed finger, "just so you know, this isn't something you can use to get yourself out of studying. this is me letting you use my body to help you focus better."

"yeah, yeah, yeah, bedroom, pants off."

------------

after that? psh. he said anytime you wanted and you used that to your advantage. it went from clearing your mind to just doing it cause he said you could.

one night you're stretched across his couch while peter sits in the corner, both of you focused on a movie. suddenly, you remember you have something much more fun to pass the time. sometimes, you forget you can just... do it.

digging your toes into his thigh he pushes them away, "ow," rolling your eyes you poke again. "can i suck you off?" attention caught, "right now?"

"do you think i'm asking in advance?"

"but i'm all comfy and we're more than halfway through the movie, i'm committed now." he doesn't even have to do anything.

"okay, stay there. i'll just go between your legs, then you can still see the tv." you shuffle around until your knees hit the floor, then bringing yourself to peter by pulling on his leg.

"yeah, but, on the couch? i mean, if may-"

you rest your cheek on his knee, his flannel pajama pants ultra soft. "please don't talk about your aunt when i'm about to suck your dick."

"but if we make a mess she'll-"

you hush him, your fingers pulling at his waistband.

"then i'll make sure i don't make a mess."

----------

another night, you spent the night and woke him up after a bad dream. at first he's frazzled but when you express your panic he's wide awake and rubbing your back.

"um, i know you're tired but do you think i could..."

peter's gotten better at reading hints.

he yawns first, then smacks his lips before shuffling his boxers off.

"commit me if i ever say no."



[disneyprincemuke]

midnights, 9 * mv1

max finds out you'd gone to the club with alexandra, making him wonder if it’s really over when pictures of you and another man leak

pairings: max verstappen x fem!reader

warnings:

notes: nah when i finish this, i WILL be milking the whole series because this is my only breakup outlet left like damN

(series masterlist)

(prev) // (next)

max could not stop thinking of you all day - all week, in fact. ever since a rumour had started going around that he's moving on with another woman, he could only have imagined what it's like for you to see that.

it sucks because he'd just been doing nelson piquet a favour - bringing kelly into the paddocks for a race under his pass. but nothing more ever went down between them.

he could only think of how your hands go cold at the rumour and heart absolutely shattering. he admits that he thought of sending you a text that night, but cowered away at the fear of your rejection for his explanation. maybe you no longer cared about what he's doing with his life.

he knows that because you unfollowed him on instagram and every other social media platform alike. you have even taken it upon yourself to unfollow his private account, his profile riddled with pictures and memories of the two of you together that he has not had the courage to delete just yet.

the only reason that he is aware of your sudden decision to distance yourself from him after the breakup is when he was confused about the notable lack of you on his timeline. when he checked, you were just another account he is now a stranger to.

he believes it was brought about by the dating rumours. because he used to stalk you all the time.

all. the. time.

"max, mate," daniel's voice makes him lift his head, eyebrows raising as a response. daniel's lips carve into a smile before it quickly disappears without anyone else noticing. "i said do you wanna grab some drinks at the bar? charles is already there."

max hesitates. the urge to be alone in his hotel room is real; curling up in bed while he listened to his mellow playlist while he debates once more if he should reach out. but against his better judgement, he nods with a small smile on his face as he starts to follow behind the older man.

"so, how are you feeling?" daniel asks, turning to him with a polite smile as they walk. "better, hopefully?"

with a halfhearted smile, max shrugs. "a little."

"progress is still progress," daniel reassures him with a pat on his shoulder, "it will still get better from here. you know that."

max nods. but there's still a yearning for you that he can't explain or get over. while he can understand that time is needed apart from you, things are not seemingly going towards his favour, or at least the way he wants it to go.

his chances of getting back together with you are slim. he really wants to, but he cannot bear the thought you having to say goodbye to you a second time.

but if he had the chance to do it all over again with you, he’d try to change the course of time if it meant having you back in his arms.

he tries to get you off his mind by moving on to other topics of conversation. but all he can think about is how you could have been here, arm around his waist as you leaned into his body while giggling over something daniel said to you.

you should have been at parc ferme following every race finish with your arms opened wide, welcoming him in for a wide smile and a tight hug.

but you never are.

and it doesn't help that now he's at the bar, there's charles and alexandra exchanging loud conversation about an event she attended back home.

"oh yeah," alexandra laughs unknowingly as they approach, "she was wild that night! she took body tequila shots from this guy! and we'd just met him that night. it was insane."

daniel pops his head between the couple with a lazy smile on his face. "who took body shots from a random guy they met at the bar?"

alexandra whips her head around, locking eyes with max. she laughs nervously as charles puts his hand over her knee. "just my friend back home."

max looks at her knowingly, taking his seat in the opposite booth. "it's (y/n), isn't it?" he asks, looking at the menu. everyone falls silent as he scans the menu for something to drink, prompting him to look up, slightly annoyed. "else, why wouldn't you elaborate to daniel when he asked?"

"hey," charles says, exchanging a glance with alexandra next to him. he squeezes her hand and sits up, leaning towards max. "what's your problem?"

"nothing," max answers in the calmest tone he can find within himself, "it's just odd that she tried to cover it up when it's so obvious." he turns to daniel. "wasn't it?"

daniel stares at him, visibly gulping and then glancing at the couple that sits across them.

"i didn't know you were already here," alexandra explains, dropping her head low. "i would have stopped way earlier."

"why would you?" max smiles, albeit halfheartedly, then looks down at the menu again. "we've broken up, right? she can do what she wants - i'm not her problem anymore."

"right," alexandra nods, pressing her lips together and sinking into her seat. she gives daniel a small smile before taking a sip of her cocktail. "sorry."

"hey," charles says again, putting both hands on the table. "you fucked up. don't take it out on alex that you're upset (y/n) is no longer with you. weren't you the one who let her walk out?"

max looks up immediately, mouth agape as he tries to process the words that charles just spoke. it's true that max let you walk out, which is what hurt the most. and it's, in fact, unfair that he is being like this.

max just sighs. "you're right." he turns to alexandra. "i'm sorry, alex. i shouldn't have taken it out on you."

alexandra just smiles, nodding understandingly. "it's okay. breakups are hard, max. i shouldn't have been talking about it knowing you'd be here any second, anyway."

"okay," daniel finally speaks, hands held up between the three of them. "let's just have a peaceful dinner, alright? no more breakup talks - this is an enjoyable evening."

they murmur in agreement with a nod. but the tension is the air never lightens up, and neither does the churning in max's stomach which is increasingly getting harder to ignore.

there's something about the phone in max's pocket that's making him itch to check it.

so after they send their orders in, his friends immediately fall into a conversation and he fishes for his phone in his back pocket. there's only one notification.

one that told him he's justified for feeling sick.

don't react

they're just pictures

it's from victoria. he opens the message, received about 10 minutes ago when he left the paddocks with the older alpha tauri driver. he can almost imagine the pictures, even if victoria hadn't taken the liberty to curse him with the pleasure of seeing them.

so he opens instagram.

just as fate would have it, you're at the top of his timeline from some f1 gossip page that he had no idea he followed. in the first one, your face can be barely made out, crouched down as you step out of the backseat of a car with alexandra still in the car. but he recognises the dress - it's one that he got you a couple of years ago, after winning his first race with you as his girlfriend.

the sheer will you've got to be on a night out in a dress that he got you is something he has to give to you. that's absolutely one way to get back at him after the pictures of him and kelly.

something tells him it's about to get worse. and it does, because when he swipes to the next picture, it's you visibly looking intoxicated, he assumes from all the body shots you took. and his heart skips a beat in his chest as his mouth runs dry.

there it is, some guy holding the car door open for you. in the next, he's seen scooching in with you in that backseat.

"are you alright, mate?" charles' voice makes him look up as he drops his phone into his lap.

max takes a deep breath, unable to force a smile to his face. he just nods, swallowing the lump in his throat.

charles' stare on him lingers before he nods hesitantly and resumes the conversation with daniel. max's eyes shift to alexandra, now staring at her phone with parted lips.

she looks up, meeting his eyes with a worried stare.

max just shakes his head before she can say anything. he just leans back into the seat and folds his arms over his chest.

guess it's really over now between you.

taglist: @merchelsea @leclercdream @labelledejourr @laneyspaulding19 @lpab @graciewrote @hollie911 @thatsojasminesworld @mycenterfold @princessria127 @ironmaiden1313 @dl-yum @crlsummer @brekkers-whore @minkyungseokie @honethatty12 @barelytolerabled @vellicora @lokigoeschoki @avg-golden-retriever @lokigoeschoki @cherry-piee @telengraph

[tfp-is-my-lifeblood-lol]

Tfp Autobots Encountering the Mind-Control Cell Phones from Rescue Bots

(Because it canonically exists in the Alligned continuity, and I'm abusing that knowledge to torment my favorite little meow meows)

I've been wanting to write these headcanons. Might do Decepticons next.

Context for if you haven't seen the Rescue Bots episode "Spell Bound": A human named Madeline Pynch creates mind-control phones that hypnotize both humans and Cybertronians to dig up Blossom Vale (part of Griffin Rock)

Optimus Prime:

-He's the only one who's immune to the phones' power

-Lucky for him, the Matrix of Leadership can protect him from that kind of influence

-Because of that, he'd be the first to discover something isn't right with the humans, and eventually the other Bots when they'd start acting strange.

-He'd notice they're groundbridging to Griffin Rock with no explanation, and that they keep saying the phrase: "The project is the priority."

-Plus, their voices. Sure, they sound normal on the surface, but Optimus is very perceptive, and would pick up on the slight lack of emotion, and artificial tone when they speak.

-Throughout this mess, Optimus mainly confides in Ratchet

"What is going on?" Ratchet would muse, almost awestruck by the strange behavior of the others.

"I am unsure," Optimus would reply. "But I believe something is deeply amiss, old friend."

-Both of them would be struggling to uncover what this mysterious "project" is, and why the other Bots and humans have suddenly become so obsessed with it.

Arcee:

-She's the first Bot that falls under the spell; Jack's the first human to fall under, and he'd infect her

-Jack's responsible, empathetic personality works against him when he finds a golden cellphone abandoned at school.

"Someone must've lost this." He'd say. "I'd...better return it, right? I mean...I'd hate for someone to be freaking out, wondering where their phone is."

"I think they'll be fine without their phone for a couple of hours," Arcee would quip. "Come on, it's go-time. We've gotta get back to base."

-Then it rings

"I'd...better get that." Jack would say.

Arcee would playfully role her eyes and smile. "Alright. We'll go back after you've done your good deed for the day. But make it quick."

-Upon answering the call, Jack's whole body suddenly goes rigid. "The project is the priority."

"Uhh...Jack...?" Arcee would press, nervous about her partner's abrupt shift in demeanor.

-Arcee would vent to Bulkhead. "Something's seriously wrong with Jack," and beg Ratchet for help. "Ratchet, come on. He's gotta be...I don't know, sick, or something, right? He's not acting...human."

-But soon, Jack would attach a phone to her in vehicle mode, and she'd be sucked in as well.

-Arcee's mind control would be subtle. She's naturally stoic, after all. The others might mistake her drone-like behavior for her usual closed-off personality, even when Optimus asks her to go on a mission, and she flatly replies: "...Can't..." Perhaps she's just having a rough day thinking about her lost partners. But suspicions rise when she and Jack disappear to Griffin Rock.

-Even in trance, Arcee maintains her stealth and agility, making her a formidable opponent.

Bulkhead:

-He'd get infected by his human charge, just like Arcee.

-Miko is SUPER suspicious of Jack's strange, zombie-like behavior, so she tracks him down and calls him out on it. She'd assume it's the work of Decepticons.

"Yeah, ok, Jack. You think you can fool me. Come on, dude! You're acting like Megatron barbecued your brain! You're some kind of mind-controlled zombie! But, don't worry, Jack Rabbit! I'll find a way to fix you up. Otherwise, Bulk's gonna bash you into zombie smithereens!"

-Jack would probably have to battle Miko to get her to listen to the call, but eventually, she'd become hypnotized, too.

-Now THAT'S a HUGE red flag for Bulkhead, and, well, EVERYONE

-MIKO is acting stoic and speaking in a monotone? OUR MIKO?

-Oh, Primus, no.

"Miko," Bulkhead would say, holding Miko's electric guitar. "Don't'cha wanna play your favorite song?"

"No time..." The girl would say blankly, and Bulkhead would drop the guitar in pure shock.

-It won't be long before Bulkhead pulls Miko aside to ask what's going on.

"This will explain everything..." Miko drones, showing Bulk a strange golden cellphone.

"A...cellphone?" Bulkhead questions. "Where'd you get that?"

"Answer it."

-Poor Bulkhead is fooled. He takes the call, and now there's two Autobots down.

-Bulkhead's mind-controlled state would definitely raise a few eyebrows. At first, it'd seem like he's just deeply lost in thought, but when it's time to battle, and he suddenly has no interest in kicking some tailpipe, it's clear something's wrong.

-Luckily, he's still pretty clumsy.

Bumblebee:

-Now, Bumblebee's situation is interesting

-He doesn't get infected by Raf.

-Rather, he gets infected trying to save Raf from becoming infected when a hypnotized Jack and Miko try to assimilate him.

-Poor Raf would be like: "Bumblebee, no! You don't have to do this to save me! I need you!"

-Unfortunately, Jack and Miko break their promise to spare Raf in exchange for Bumblebee joining them, so now all the humans are under, and nearly every Bot.

-Bumblebee's mind-controlled state is similar to when Megatron possessed him, only slightly less dangerous (I mean, come on. That was Megatron. You can't get much more dangerous than that).

-Bumblebee's is also the most obvious (besides Miko, of course). Bumblebee's such a sweetheart, it's easy to tell he isn't himself. Plus, his buzzing sounds different under mind-control. It's lower, and duller.

-Even while hypnotized, Raf is the only human who understand's Bumblebee when he speaks, so the two work together, unlike the others. The phones numb all emotions, so Bulkhead and Miko, as well as Arcee and Jack seem to have forgotten they're partners. Bee and Raf mainly work together because it's practical.

Ratchet:

-Poor Ratchet's going through it😂

-It took a LOT of fighting, but he managed to scan the others with his medical scanner.

-Ratchet is the one who figures out the phones are emitting a hypnosis-inducing frequency. Optimus is grateful for his help.

-However, with everyone else hypnotized, Ratchet gets cornered, and hypnotized himself.

-Poor guy. He tried to help them.

-Mind-controlled Ratchet is pretty scary

-Keep in mind, victims of the Pynch Phones maintain their intelligence

-Ratchet becomes a precise, calculating machine. He's gonna FIND that gold, and, if you try to stop him, he'll get you out of his way however he deems fit.

BONUS: Aftermath/Optimus is goated:

-Optimus manages to save the others by crushing the phones. Who knows? Maybe he and Megatron even had to team up.

-The others are super guilty upon snapping out of it. Bee is like a confused puppy, Bulkhead is furious, and Arcee is horrified (Jack keeps having to assure her he's ok). Ratchet has, like, a hangover because his neural net is too old for this mind-control shit.

-Optimus makes sure everyone knows it wasn't their fault. He's such a kind dude.

-Madeline Pynch should probably run. Messing with the Rescue Bots is one thing, but THIS is Team Prime. Optimus may be a pacifist, but Pynch endangered human lives. That's a biiiiig no-no when it comes to Optimus. He probably won't hurt her, per se, but she's in for a world of karma, because the other Bots aren't so forgiving,

[tyrantisterror]

At Sea Without a Map Post-Script

After two months of so, my little writing experiment At Sea Without a Map has come to an end. And because I'm vain, I not only felt compelled to share it, but to talk about it in depth after the fact, so here we are. This is going to be long, though, so I'm not only going to break it into sections, but put it all under the cut for the sake of your dashboard. So go ahead and dive into the depths of the Sea of Monsters with me one more time!

Part 1: Never Stop Blowing Up

The writing process of Wizard School Mysteries Book 3 was really strained - not because of the book itself, mind you. When I was actually able to work on it, Book 3 came together really well - I think it required the least substantial rewrites of any my novels thus far. It's just that real life was kind of beating the shit out of me while I was trying to get it done - or maybe the better metaphor was that it was just slowly but steadily draining me of energy all the time. I'm honestly surprised I got the book out in roughly the same amount of time as the first two - by the way life had been treating me, it should have taken longer.

But when I got done with it I was accutely aware of how tired I was. I still had the creative drive, but fuck I needed something simple as a palette cleanser - something easy, and more importantly, something that was allowed to be bad. I needed something creative to do that was surplus to requirements and fully within its rights to suck ass so long as I had fun making it.

Around this time, I decided to rewatch Dimension 20's Never Stop Blowing Up. Brief explanation of what that is: Dimension 20 is an actual play show, i.e. a recording of people playing D&D and other TTRPGs. I'd say its reputation is built on the contrast of its main DM, Brennan Lee Mulligan, who makes these meticulously crafted campaign plans, and his chaotic band of improv comedian players who promptly derail those plans spectacularly. Like, a good deal of the show's humor comes from Emily Ashford or Ally Beardsly doing something so off-the-wall that it shatters whatever the scene was going to be and creates a far more absurd and zany spectacle in its place. Which is why Never Stop Blowing Up is pretty notable, because it's the one campaign where Brennan himself is the agent of chaos, fully unleashing his own brand of madness that the players struggle to keep up with. And fuck does he seem to have fun with it.

Of course, all of the analysis above is purely from the outside looking in - it's likely that a lot of the "chaos" is played up for the audience. But still... there is something to the idea of a person who's been working on meticulously structured stories letting loose and just doing something extremely stupid.

So I decided to give myself a Never Stop Blowing Up moment - a short story that would be simple by design, with no standards to live up to or goal beyond "have fun telling a silly little story." I then came up with a few key criteria:

It can't be set in the Midgaheim/ATOM universe. I don't want the burden of figuring out where this story would fit among others.

It's gotta be a romance. People who've read my books might have picked up on the fact that I like to write about people falling in love, for the same reason I like to write about fire-breathing reptiles and friendly monsters (i.e. I use writing to indulge in things I'll never experience in real life). I've only used romance as subplots in my fiction before, and tend to feel a bit guilty if I focus on it too long - like I'm being self indulgent. Well, this is all about self indulgence, so the romance should be front and center.

It's gotta be SIMPLE, episodic even. Not complex plotting required.

I almost chose my xenomorph romance for this, but I had developed its outline to the point where it would be too complex to fit. I then considered a sort of superhero story that could be pitched as "what if Bringing Up Baby but Katherine Hepburn's character is a Harley Quinn-esque supervillain and Cary Grant's character gets turned into some sort of horrifying genetic mutant in the first ten minutes." That one hit a weird roadblock when I got to the character brainstorming phase (the first phase of any writing project I do) - I was trying to figure out what the mad scientist who turns out Cary Grant-figure into a mutant would be named, came up with the name "Dr. Skullfuck," immediately realized that having a character named "Dr. Skullfuck" is a Mark Millar-ass writing move that I could not allow myself to do, but then couldn't stop thinking of the name "Dr. Skullfuck" and giggling, which just brought all thinking to a grinding halt on that project.

(I'll still probably do it someday, though - just, you know, without Dr. Skullfuck)

Inspiration struck again, though. I'd been getting into Epic: The Musical, a musical retelling of The Odyssey, and it put me in the mood for a sea monster story. But, more than that, it got me thinking about one particular archetype from sea monster stories - but that brings us to the next part of this Post Script...

Part 2: It Was Always About Calibani

Ok, so, one of the big changes Epic: The Musical made involved Odysseus's encounter with the sirens, and before you read more of my rambling, I'd like you to watch two animatics for the two songs in question here:

A summary: one of the sirens takes the form of Odysseus's wife to try and tempt him into getting in the water, Odysseus tricks her into giving him directions, captures her and the rest of her kind, and proceeds to have his men slaughter them horribly. In the OG story the sirens don't die - nor does their song involve imitating a man's wife, for that matter, it's just a really pretty song.

This is done for an important narrative purpose - Epic: The Musical is focused on analyzing the moral ambiguity of Odysseus, and how it is constantly challenged by the impossible choices he is forced to make in his attempt to get home. At this point in the musical, Odysseus has decided to stop trying to be a compassionate man, shirking all mercy in favor of utter ruthless pursuit of his goals. These two songs are meant to be unsettling as hell - this is the beginning of a series of heartless choices by both Odysseus and his men that will culminate in the mutiny and complete annihilation of Odysseus's crew, as well as Odysseus himself being so hopelessly stranded that nothing short of divine intervention will save him.

I bring this up because when I first heard these two songs - specifically while watching these two animatics - it, like... it devastated me. I was so horrified and sad, so shaken by it. And part of it was for the reasons outlined above, but admittedly that wasn't the gut reaction I had. No, my immediate reaction was, and I quoute my own broken brain verbatim here: "You can't kill the sirens! They're not for killing, they're for loving!"

...now, those of you who know me are probably not surprised by this very stupid sentiment coming from me. One of my more popular posts is just me talking about how down bad I would be for various folkloric monsters whose whole shtick is "looks like a pretty lady but Watch Out." But as a person filled with immense self loathing and doubt, my brain immediately looked at that very stupid sentiment I expressed and said, "Wait, no, that's fucking dumb, I'm fucking dumb. The sirens are remorseless murderers. These sirens in particular preyed upon a man's love for his wife, who he has not seen in twelve years, to convince him to let them kill him. They are, by all standards of morality, Very Fucking Evil, and if they were not women you would not feel bad about them getting killed."

And as my brain argued with itself over this topic, I got to thinking about the various monstrous/othered sea women of The Odyssey - not just the sirens, but the witch Circe, the nymph Calypso, the monsters Scylla and Charybdis. And I thought about the others of their kind in other myths and folktales - selkies, mermaids, etc.

There's an archetype of sea monster that focuses entirely on one specific anxiety sailors are prone to, namely the fact that (for a good deal of human history) being on a boat meant spending a lot of time away from women. The horror of this monster is how it uses that desire for female company to tempt people into danger - like a mirage, it leads you to expose yourself to danger in pursuit of an illusory comfort.

But, unlike real world mirages, these monstrous sea women DO exist in their stories. More than that, they're often, like, sad and lonely. Their narrative purpose is just to be a temptation, but that doesn't change the fact that they do have lives of their own in these worlds. And, softie that I am, I can't help feeling sad for them, especially the ones who actually seem to want the same companionship the sailors they tempt want. Sailors don't stay with their Circes, they don't marry their Calypsos. The sirens live on a barren rock, alone, Scylla is left to wallow in misery at her monstrous form, and the selkie always has to leave for fear of being trapped by a person who won't love her on her terms.

I realized I had my hook for this simple, easy, silly little sea monster romance story: I was going to give a sea woman the happy ending she'd never get from anyone else.

Sailor may be the protagonist, but make no mistake: At Sea Without a Map was always, always, ALWAYS about Calibani.

The goal with Calibani was simple: I was going to set up a fairly standard Monstrous Sea Woman, but where other stories would let her be in one episode of the travel narrative and move on, this one would stick around. She'd be an unambiguous predator of human beings - an open and admitted maneater - but she would have no true malice to her. She, like all predators, eats what she can get to survive, and it just so happens that she's adapted to eat humans. And the story would pose the same question to the reader that my brain posed to me during Different Beast: is there any way you could make a siren-style sea monster sympathetic? Can you make a normal person who doesn't have my particular brain rot look at a maneating siren and think, "You're not supposed to kill her, you're supposed to love her!"

One of the few unavoidable plot points of At Sea Without a Map was that Calibani and Sailor's relationship would become romantic. What kind of romance it was could have varied substantially - it could have been one-sided, it could have been toxic, it could have been far more tragic OR far more comedic. But it was always, always going to be a romance of some sort - the goal of this experiment was to make you, the reader, love Calibani. All else was icing on the cake.

I decided to base Calibani's personality on Miranda from The Tempest - i.e. a sweet girl who is both wordly and naive, who understands the strange setting of our "lost at sea" story far better than the audience viewpoint character does, but views the mundane world of the audience viewpoint character with wonder and naiveté. In fact I almost named her Miranda outright... except I already had a character in the setting I chose for this story who had that name, and as an allusion to the same Shakespearean character no less. So I settled on naming her after Miranda's adoptive sibling (of sorts), Caliban - more fitting in some ways, as Caliban is a fish-human hybrid who is arguable more native to the magic island in The Tempest than Miranda herself.

(Calibani isn't the only Tempest name homage, either - her mother, Sycorax, takes her name directly from Caliban's unseen but oft-spoken of witch mother. Dr. Antonia Warefore takes her first name from Antonio, one of the human villains in The Tempest who hopes to use being lost at sea as a way to perform a coup. And the mothman Iriel takes her name from Ariel, the wind spirit in The Tempest who aids the wizard Prospero in controlling the magic island. If Sailor has a "real" name, it's probably either Ferdinand or Miranda, the two lovers who manage to blend civilization and the wilderness together with their romance.)

Visually, I wanted Calibani to not be any common archetype of sea monster woman, but rather something that evokes the popular images while still being her own thing. She's not a mermaid or a siren or a selkie - she's basically "what if a sea serpent was also a girl." In-universe, she's chubby because she, like all marine megafauna, needs blubber to survive. Out-of-universe, she's chubby because I've found that routinely drawing cute chubby girls is good for my mental health.

Part 3: CYOA

Now, while we live in a post-Muncher society where shame and cringe are emotions only the cowardly should experience, I am nonetheless Very Catholic about expressing my own feelings of, like, liking girls and shit. I cannot help feeling guilty when publicly expressing adoration of women without, like, an excuse - it's gotta be a joke or something, you know? I can't be genuine about it, or else Jesus will beat me with a cane for disrespecting women with my lecherous gaze.

But luckily I've cultivated a loyal audience of fellow monsterfuckers, which meant I had an excuse lined up: if I made this a choose your own adventure type deal, a story with audience participation, then you all would be my accomplices. And Jesus can't cane all of us! He doesn't have enough hands! I found a loophole bigger than his stigmata!

Plus I love collaborative story-telling - there's a thrill in not having total control of where the narrative is going. As Brennan Lee Mulligan must know, there's a joy in having to deal with the chaos thrown your way by letting others grab the figurative ball, even if just for a moment.

Part 4: Offbeat Melody

Since I did not want to set this story in Midgaheim, I decided to steer myself away from a vaguely medieval setting altogether. But I also didn't want to limit myself with the need for "realism" that putting it in a normal sea would require, and making a new setting whole cloth would start pushing this project into "not easy" territory.

Luckily, I had a setting lying around that I hadn't played with in a while, which just so happened to have a location that was PERFECT for the sort of Never Stop Blowing Up style madness I was aiming for. For a few years I ran a Monster of the Week TTRPG campaign called Offbeat Melody, and one of its core setting elements was taking the goblin universe hypothesis in paranormal science (yeah it's a real hypothesis) to an illogical extreme. We had specifically seen glimpses of the Sea of Monsters in Offbeat Melody, i.e. the parallel universe where monsters like Nessie, Ogopogo, Champ, and the like all hail from. Well, why not have a whole story set there? It's literally a universe devoted solely to creating sea monsters - what better place to strand our modern Odysseus?

Offbeat Melody was always sort of a Never Stop Blowing Up project, or at least NSBU adjacent. Some of my most unhinged story-telling moments are in that campaign - you could make a supercut of just the "commercial breaks" in the various sessions and it'd basically be an I Think You Should Leave episode. Taking one obscure corner of its multiversal world and exploring it in detail was perfect for this project.

Part 5: Monster by Monster

With our main romance as sorted out as could be for a CYOA story, it was time to figure out the "episodes" of this sea voyage. I settled on there being ten to roughly align with The Odyssey - just in terms of number, mind you, not in a one-to-one comparison. The first was, obviously, Calibani herself, which left nine more slots for me to fill with monsters. Let's go through them together in brief:

Tree Storks - any lost at sea story eventually has to get its protagonist into an island at some point, but this immediately begs the question, "Why don't they just stay on the island where it's safe?" The answer to that question has to be, "it's not safe there, actually." The Odyssey does this quickly and cleverly with a one two punch: the first island seems safe until you realize the food on it brainwashes you into forgetting everything except your desire to eat it, and the second island is full of delicious sheep but also giants who will eat you just as easily as they eat the sheep. When other islands show up in the story later, you immediately regard them with suspicion, because you don't know HOW they're going to be fucked up, but they definitely will be. My goal with the second episode was to establish the same sort of danger - that land is NOT safe, that islands WILL be fucked up and dangerous in ways you might not expect.

I also wanted to establish that this is not just a sea of monsters, but a very WEIRD sea of WEIRD monsters. It couldn't be any old monster on this island - it had to be one that was unique, unexpected, and maybe just a bit silly while still being menacing.

I've always felt that there's a lot of un-mined horror potential in storks, cranes, and herons - any bird with a long neck and spear-like beak it uses to stab smaller creatures from above. Just imagine yourself in a frog's place in the world - tiny, going about your business, when suddenly something shoots down at you from above and impales you before you even feel the shadow fall over your face. Or perhaps you did see the shadow - some of these birds spread their wings to create shade specifically to attract fish, and then spear the poor little bastards.

Well, what do people often look to islands for when out at sea? Shade - the shade of a palm tree. And palm fronds kinda resemble feathers, don't they? Wouldn't it be both ludicrous and terrifying is there was a stork big enough to mimic a palm tree - and wouldn't that be a DEVIOUS trap for a sun-drenched sailor to fall for? So the Tree Storks were born.

The Globster - I made a list of sea monster archetypes in the early planning for this project, and one I wanted to include was a kraken, i.e. some sort of tentacled sea beast. But I didn't want to do JUST a big squid or octopus, or even a riff on them. I wanted to take the idea of "big sea monster with lots of tentacles" into a stranger direction.

Since the Sea of Monsters is explicitly the home universe of lake and sea monster cryptids, I thought it might be fun if ASWaM's kraken equivalent was a globster - just a big ball of rotten meat. I love drawing monstrous faces, so I decided it'd just be, like, MADE of hideous rotten faces, all melting and congealing together, with its tentacles doubling as the tongues of its many mouths. A perfectly wretched image that, like the Tree Storks, would do well to establish how Fucked things could get in this setting. Plus similar monsters had appeared in Offbeat Melody, which would make for a fun sense of familiarity for the, like, five or so readers of mine who had listened to that campaign before.

Captain Peter & the Dolphin - Another thing I did in the early planning stages of this project was make a list of the different sea voyage stories I know and love, the most contentious of which is The Life of Pi. That's a story that I love on a literal level but kind of hate on a figurative level - its whole theme/message is that doubt is the worst thing you can have, that if you don't commit to believing something with zealous conviction you are a coward. As a person who thinks doubt is valid, that "I don't know" is sometimes the ONLY truly valid answer to a question, I have issues with that message.

But I can't help loving the beautifully ludicrous idea of a non-anthropomorphic tiger sailing the ocean on a big Odyssey of its own. Like, if that story didn't actively hate me for being agnostic, it would be one of my favorites.

So I decided to, you know, just steal the idea of a tiger Odysseus. The tiger in The Life of Pi is named Richard Parker. Richard Parker also happens to be the name of Peter Parker's dad. Hence we get Captain Peter - the figurative son of Richard Parker, if you will. And to ratchet up the absurdity of a tiger Odysseus, I made him a pirate and the sole sailor of his voyage. Somehow, this tiger has manned a boat on his own.

Captain Peter was intended to be the hero of another story - a sign for the readers that it IS possible for a stranded person (or, in this case, tiger) to survive out here. To that end, he had to rescue our heroes from another threat, but not one that would be interesting enough to take the focus off of the tiger pirate. Originally I planned for that threat to just be a big shark, but I ended up liking my shark design too much to put it in a role that small, so I quickly designed a nasty dolphin for the role instead. I think that worked out well, honestly.

Dr. Neptune - Episodes 5 and 6 were the mid-point of this journey, so I wanted the two monsters of those to escalate things significantly. I figured episode 5 was probably a good place to FINALLY give some meaningful exposition on what was going on, and there are a lot of stories about mad scientists doing weird shit on islands in my big list of sea voyage stories I love. So we get Dr. Neptune, a classical brain-in-a-jar mad scientist who's affable enough to give more-or-less accurate exposition but loony enough to be a problem. This also felt like a good spot to remind the reader that Calibani is not just a girl with a tail but rather a Sea Monster herself, and one that we'd been making stronger by allying with.

With his human-but-not-quite nature and cyclops eye, Dr. Neptune could sort of be seen as the Polyphemus of this story, couldn't he?

The Crocodisle - One of the sea monster archetypes on my list was "the island that's actually a sleeping monster," of which there are many in mythology and folklore. My favorite is the Jasconius from the voyage of St. Brendan, mainly because it's more or less benign and actually comes back to help St. Brendan and his crew at the end of the story. I always love when I can find an old story with a friendly monster in it.

When thinking of my own spin on the island monster concept, I remembered the only Magic the Gathering card I had as a kid, which I still have and love to this day: The Sandbar Crocodile. This card already inspired Crocogon's color scheme in The Atomic time of Monsters, but I felt I could go to that well again one more time, and so made a crocodile that wasn't just a sandbar, but a whole damn island to itself. And, like Jasconius, it turns out he's pretty chill.

I did not think of the pun name "Crocodisle" until I was actually writing the chapter in question.

The Femdom Mermaids - These three were a late addition to the roster. When I had Calibani bring up mermaids early in the story, I realized as soon as I wrote her rant about them that we'd HAVE to meet some later on in the story.

The readers had significantly shaped Calibani and Sailor's romance by this point, and I decided that it could be useful to have a chapter that was devoted to showing definitively how these two were good for each other. I thought the mermaids could provide a good contrast: have them act out a seemingly more benign take on the monstrous sea women trope (they abduct our hero to protect and care for them!) only for it to quickly feel MORE deranged than Calibani's comparatively simple desire just to eat him.

The spirit of Calibani's rant about mermaids was taken from weird* girls I knew in high school complaining about cheerleaders, so I wanted the mermaids to look like the sea monster equivalent of popular kids to Calibani's chubby weird girl. Two of them got the names of famous beauties - Helyne = Helen of Troy, Clio = Cleopatra.

(*when I say "weird" I mean it in a complimentary and affectionate sense)

Bob, meanwhile, kinda... rebelled, I guess? Before I had names for them, I listed "bob" by her as just, like, a descriptor for her hair cut, but then I liked it as her name, and once she was named Bob she became more than just a mean popular girl. She was a weirdo too, the little punching bag of the two mean popular girls who did their dirty work and smiled through their abuse because hey, at least they included her. It gave the trio an easily defined dynamic, helped make two of the three more visibly nasty, and gave us comic relief in an arc that could very well have gotten too uncomfortable otherwise.

And I guess it worked - readers REALLY loved Bob, and were very vocal about it, and I realized mid-arc that I had accidentally made her too likable to just leave in this arc. So Bob got to be rescued from her awful friend group thanks to readers like YOU.

Lord Ironteeth - yeah, this was the shark that was too cool to be a minor threat. When I drew his noggin, I realized he would need a chapter of his own, one with gravitas. I decided he'd specifically be the threshold guardian -once we beat him, we'd know for sure how to get home, even if there were a few more threats in store.

Spindle Inc and Sycorax - when I was a kid I used to have this recurring nightmare about being on some sort of underwater sea station that had this huge sea serpent trapped inside it. I'd look at the sea serpent from a window within the station and see it coiling in its tank, only for it to look at me with fury. In that glance I would suddenly realize two things with absolute clarity: first, it was going to break free and kill everyone, and second, we deserved that destruction for what we had done to it. The terror of the dream was less that the sea serpent was going to break free, and more the guilt of knowing that all the mayhem that was about to unfold was our fault to begin with.

I thought that would be fun to homage with the penultimate chapter of this story. OBVIOUSLY the sea serpent was Calibani's mom, obviously the trauma of its capture was why Calibani grew into a predator that specializes in hunting humans, obviously we would have to free the sea serpent despite that running counter to Sailor's goal of getting home. Easy, easy, easy plot point to include.

Spindle, Inc. is the primary antagonistic force in Offbeat Melody, so they easily slotted into the role of the arrogant humans who captured this monster for nefarious and selfish motives. They could tie a lot of other plot threads together too - Dr. Neptune was a scientist who worked for them as a contractor only to get screwed over (i.e. they stranded him in the Sea of Monsters, expecting him to die, and then used his research to make their own base of operations in it), we'd learn of him through a spindle briefcase left behind by some unfortunate rogue agent who got eaten by the Globster while he was trying to escape, hell they could even be one of the possible origins of Sailor themself (more on that later). Very useful villains, Spindle.

The Abyssal Mother - I knew the last sea monster would need a lot of punch to it. I briefly considered just a big whale - the Moby Dick to Spindle's corporate Ahab - but it felt underwhelming after all that came before. So I went for arguably the most dramatic possible sea monster, a full on Cthulhu-style elder god. If you're a frequent follower of this blog, you might know I have particularly high standards for Eldritch Abominations, so I realized this was going to be a pretty big challenge for me to live up to, and decided to keep the cthulhu in question reserved to the last few entries as a result - the less it appears, the less it has to live up to.

I realized I had a good angle when my experiments with the Cthulhu "squid for a head" concept ended up having a face framed in shadow - you know, the same visual that our protagonist has in most appearances. That provided some very juicy parallels between the two that made this final monster feel particularly noteworthy to me, ones that I'll leave you to ponder, since they tie into...

Part 6: Themes

I did not set out to have a theme in this story. I just wanted to make a sailor and a sea monster kiss. That was my only goal.

But I really don't begin with theme in ANY of my writing. I figure out topics I want to address, but for all my novels I feel like the themes didn't start coming together until about halfway through the first draft, when enough of the elements of the story had been set down and interacted with each other enough for me to realize what I was saying with them. A huge part of my second and third drafts for my novels have focused on making the themes of my stories more concrete and unified.

Well, ASWaM is very much a first draft of a story, but it's a simple enough story that I think the theme found itself pretty well despite lacking subsequent drafts to refine it.

ASWaM is about doubt and direction. It's about being adrift in a world that is in many ways hostile by nature, about not feeling like you're where you're supposed to be or even WHO you're supposed to be, and about setting off aimlessly in the hope that maybe you'll find your way to that mythical land of "what my life is supposed to be."

When I began the story, Sailor had amnesia and wore clothes that obscured their identity as a way to make it easier for anyone to step into Sailor's role. Sailor had to feel like You, the Reader, and so we don't know their name, their gender, their eye color, their hair color, even their skin color (note that their hands are always wearing gloves, and their face is always in shadow).

But it also meant Sailor is, well, undefined, at least at the start of the story. Sailor doesn't know who they are, what they are, how they came to be. Sailor feels distinctly that they should be Something Else, should be Somewhere Else, should be Someone Else, should not be who/what/where they are. Sailor is plagued by doubt, by a need to go in a different direction, by a need to be other than they are.

This initially contrasts with Calibani, who begins the story very confident that she is doing exactly what she was designed to be doing and acting exactly like she should be. As they interact, they begin to shift each other in opposite directions - Calibani questions her existence and nature, sometimes to a self destructive degree, and Sailor begins to find something about who and where they are that they like. They find a healthy middle ground together - doubtful enough to want to be better people, but with love for themselves that allows them to not feel the need to up-heave their lives entirely.

I knew at the start that I would build an expectation for there to be some answer to the question of who Sailor is and where they came from, because those are the questions that begin the whole narrative. I brainstormed a number of answers to those questions, but once I got a few chapters into writing the story and saw this theme of doubt developing, I realized I couldn't answer them. From a thematic standpoint, the doubt HAD to remain. So I gave hints to possible answers, bits of evidence to support the possibility of them being true, but never planted a smoking gun that answered it for sure.

Sailor can't know the answer because NONE of us know the answer. Outside of blind Life of Pi style faith, you cannot know for sure that you are living the life you're supposed to live. All you can do is figure out whether you're happy with the life you've got, or if you need a change. Sailor will never know who they are supposed to be, but they did learn who they are, and they love that person now.

For those curious, the possible Sailor origins are:

Occam's Razor: they're exactly what Dr. Neptune theorized, i.e. a human who got stranded in the Bermuda Triangle (or the Devil's Triangle or any other number of paranormal triangles) and fell into the Sea of Monsters. The trauma of that experience gave them amnesia. It's just brain damage and bad luck.

A Spindle Experiment: Dr. Warefore mentions that Spindle has been trying to find a way to make a human who can evolve like the denizens of the Sea of Monsters. Sailor may well be an attempt to do just that, perhaps one they wrote off as a failure and abandoned (they do that a lot)

A Deep One: Sailor is the offspring of one of the denizens of the Sea of Monsters (most likely the Abyssal Mother herself) who has somehow been tricked into believing they are human, to the point where they seem to be human to everyone else, even other monsters. Maybe a human summoned a sea monster to breed with on earth, and Sailor ended up being subconsciously drawn back to the Sea by their blood. Maybe Sailor never actually lived on earth at all, but was only made to THINK they had as part of the transformation into a human.

The Platonic Ideal of a Sailor: the Sea of Monsters is full of archetypal concepts, and arguably a sailor trying to find their way home is just as archetypal as any sea serpent, mermaid, or kraken. Our only proof that humans aren't native to the Sea of Monsters is Dr. Neptune, and he's not as reliable an expert as he claims to be.

This theme of doubt and direction also made the compass more important to the narrative than a simply mechanic for audience participation - a compass, after all, gives direction, and the feeling that Sailor is not where they're supposed to be, that they need to head in a different direction, is ultimately the catalyst of the plot. The compass is, in many ways, the antagonist of the story - the force that keeps Sailor from accepting themself. I realized this a little after I started making the different directions have personalities - initially they just represented broad concepts (North = follow conventional wisdom ala the North Star, South = preserve your short-term self interest at all costs, East = act with curiosity and be willing to take calculated risks, and West = throw caution to the wind and do anything that seems novel and exciting), but over time they became little characters themselves.

Since it was our thematic antagonist, I decided to pepper in some ideas about what the compass might be in-universe - and, in a move that would no doubt frustrate the compass, we also don't know for sure which of those is "correct." Is the compass a poltergeist, some amalgamation of dead sailors who try to steer other lost souls home? Is it a malign entity that leeches off of those desperate enough to seek its aid, living through them while pretending to aid them? Is it a device Spindle made to lure sailors to their clutches, OR to guide their experiments in human/monster hybrids? Was it a cursed item that forced a sea monster to assume a human shape? Who can say - the compass sure can't, it can only tell you a direction to go in.

Part 7: Q&A

Since this was an interactive story, I felt it was only fitting to add one last interactive element to this post-script write up, and some of your happily obliged me by sending in questions.

When I noticed how fast readers were falling for Calibani, I figured there was a good chance we'd end up staying in the Sea of Monsters. By chapter 7, I figured it was more or less a given, and by the end of the Lord Ironteeth encounter I was almost 100% sure Sailor would remain at sea. There was always a chance, though - while a look at the polls shows that the audience got more and more on the same page towards the end, there were always dissenting voices, and the desire to get an answer to the question of Who Sailor Was remained strong, as a number of people kept trying to find angles where they could get that AND stay with Calibani.

I was surprised early on by how easily the audience fell in love with Calibani, to the point where I made a few posts commenting on it. I mean, I shouldn't have been - as I said earlier, I have cultivated an audience of fellow monsterfuckers on here, and I know at least a few of them saw my bait and knew they could get me to be freaky in a way we found mutually agreeable (thank you all again for helping me escape being caned by Jesus for being horny).

Like, we REPEATEDLY ignored developing the plot in the Tree Storks chapter for several days just to spend more time with Calibani - something that I enjoyed immensely (this whole thing was an excuse for me to write and draw a cute chubby sea monster girl as much as possible aftter all) but also knew as a storyteller was not what most would consider a good story call. I like how it turned out, but it defied conventional narrative wisdom, you know? I was surprised.

On the other side of the coin, I was also surprised by how the audience NEVER chose an option that was humorously disastrous. I gave plenty of them, and, like, generally in collaborative storytelling there will be at least one moment where your collaborators decide to do the really, REALLY stupid thing that makes everything spiral out of control really quickly. I figured at least once the audience would choose the troll response, but no, you guys worked hard to keep Sailor and Calibani alive. You refused to let them hurt each other, refused to let them throw themselves into danger, refused to imperil them for your own chuckles. It was very sweet and unexpected.

I say "you refused" but to be fair it's not like NO ONE voted for the troll options - they generally got a handful of votes, just one that was beaten by a landslide of more reasonable options. Hopefully those of you who voted for the troll options enjoyed Bob throwing you a bone by disintegrating Dr. Warefore - that was my consolation prize to you.

Yes. I knew at the beginning that there would be two endings for this story: either Sailor leaves the Sea and goes home, or Sailor stays there forever. Or, you know, Sailor dies as a result of you guys choosing several stupid options in a row, but as stated above you guys avoided those scenarios pretty decisively.

Had Sailor gone home, the following would have occurred: first, they would forget everything that happened in the Sea of Monsters. Second, they would wake up in a hospital, having been found in the Atlantic Ocean by a human-recovery charity run by... oh, isn't that funny, some tech company named Spindle Inc! Spindle would foot the medical bills and even offer Sailor a job, but Sailor would decline because even now they're still not sure what Spindle even does. Sailor would go back to their life and find it familiar and utterly mundane, but not particularly happy. Their father died when they were 18, their mother was never in the picture, they have no siblings. They worked an office job and were sort of a nonentity - that position has long since been filled, but Sailor gets a new job and lives out much the same life: simple, mundane, dreary. Every now and then they get a pang of desire to leave, to go to sea, but they push it out of mind. They never even see the ocean again as long as they live.

Sailor would have gotten the normal life they thought they were supposed to have, the normal memories and name and identity, the mundane life of a normal person. And they just had to trade everything they found in the Sea of Monsters to get it. A question is answered, a direction is followed, but is it the right answer, the right direction?

Well, I think doubt would have remained.

I had a very vague idea for there to be some sort of man-eating giant in, like, a crystal castle. He got cut to make way for the mermaids.

I wanted to fit in a big whale and a giant crustacean, but there wasn't room or an interesting angle for me to want to make room for them. Saved for a possible sequel, I suppose.

I also wanted to have a scene with, like, DOZENS of sea monsters, including some of the ones from Offbeat Melody, but the goal of "this should be EASY you dumbass" made me kill that idea pretty quick.

Thank you!

The primary inspirations were:

The Odyssey and Epic: the Musical

The voyage of St. Brendan

The many "weird shit happens on an island" movies in Toho's filmography, i.e. Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster, Son of Godzilla, Yog Monster of the Deep, Matango, etc.

The Island of Dr. Moreau

The Boy and the Heron

Ponyo (specifically Ponyo's parents - I wanted Sailor to have the same desperate energy as that wizard who fucks the giant sea goddess)

The Life of Pi

Slay the Princess (perhaps most obvious in the use of second person narration, multiple voices in the protagonist's head, and falling in love with a creature that has tried to kill you at least once)

I'm going to use this to springboard to a related point in a second, but first a genuine yet humorous answer: Yes, absolutely yes, I am enough of a big romantic sap that I would give everything about my life away to be with a person who loves me and explore a world of monsters in a heartbeat. Hell, I would have jumped in the water the minute Calibani asked and died with her fangs in my neck and a smile on my face. I am dumb this way. Do not follow my example.

On that related point, though... Most stories like this, I daresay ALL stories like this that I know of, end with the hero abandoning the fantasy world in favor of reality, never to return. And that seems like the proper choice and lesson on the surface - we don't want to tell audiences to give up their real life in favor of a fantasy, after all. That's encouraging escapism, and that's not healthy!

But, like... textually speaking, the fantastical world IS real to the characters in these stories. And it's often not really an escape - was Sailor's life devoid of conflict and suffering in the Sea of Monsters? Fuck no! It's just that they figured out how to deal with that conflict and suffering - they built skills and a support system, they adapted, they learned how to overcome what was there.

I think it can be argued that sometimes the return to a "normal" world is, in itself, an escape - the idea that your life can spiral into chaos but that's ok, you can just reset everything and go back to The Way It Was and Should Be is just as unrealistic and unhealthy an idea as You Should Escape to A Better World. Sometimes your plans for your life fall apart, sometimes you're thrown into a place you never intended to go, sometimes you have to learn skills you never anticipated needing and ally with people you never thought you'd befriend to deal with problems you never dreamed you'd have to overcome. And sometimes it's ok to look at your derailed life, your Not Where You Should Be life, and say, "Well, I've learned how to live here... maybe I can stay."

Especially if there's a cute chubby sea monster girl who loves you.

Bob was never supposed to appear past chapter 7, but about halfway through that chapter I realized the audience and I myself would be heartbroken if we didn't rescue her. Definitely for the best - she provided some well-needed comic relief in the final chapters.

This is gonna sound snarky, but, yeah - there were 58 choices with four options a piece, and we only chose one of the four. While some of the options would have similar results, almost none would have had identical outcomes. And some would have been VERY different.

Like, to go back to the beginning: when Calibani attacked, we could either throw a net on her, harpoon her, try to drive around her, or hide below deck. We picked the net, but for the other three options:

Harpooning would result in us hitting her in the thigh, causing her enough pain that she collapses on our deck and we, horrified at the violence we committed, just sort of push on. Calibani would be wounded for at least the next chapter, perhaps longer, and significantly weaker (and probably harboring a great deal of hidden resentment while also being genuinely scared of Sailor). She would be vulnerable during the stork attack, forcing Sailor to take a more active role in that chapter.

Trying to steer around her would result in us essentially fighting her with our boat, resulting in the boat capsizing and Calibani getting tangled up in it. We'd wake up alone on Stork Island and have to travel in search of our boat, alone and vulnerable among man-eating trees. We'd run into Calibani again, also beached and in trouble, end up recruiting her to help us get our boat out of the sand.

Hiding below deck would end in a sea storm that leaves us inside our boat as it's beached on Stork Island. We'd fend off the storks alone, and run into Calibani once we get our boat out to sea, as she got away more or less unscathed.

All of these would have majorly changed the trajectory of our relationship with Calibani and our identity as Sailor, despite seeming to have the same component parts on the surface. Now account for how similarly slight changes in the other options could have gone, and we could have had a very different story indeed.

Part 8: Our Girl

I just think she's neat!

[ratttgay]

waking up to phandom discourse is crazy

anyway i just wanted to add my two cents as a person living in singapore, one of the countries that dan mentioned in his explanation. because i'm seeing a lot of talking from people of other countries like america and not here LOL

i certainly can't speak for hong kong, but i have also lived in indonesia for an extended period of time and having been a queer person in both these countries, i can safely say it is not easy. (i won't talk about indonesia because i don't know much about their legislature but from my personal experience, being there and gay wasn't a walk in the park)

it has gotten better, for sure, but in both countries we are nowhere close to getting basic marriage rights etc. in fact, singapore has only RECENTLY overturned 377A (essentially a bill that made homosexual sex illegal). don't even get me started on trans rights, it's a whole other thing itself. we have extensive censorship in singapore (which, of course, extends to homosexuality and transgenderism), one of the highest in the world.

this is not to say we don't have a flourishing queer landscape in singapore. we have drag shows (RIOT! is a big one), we have pride festivals (pink dot), we have queer artists perform during national day (though their queerness isn't acknowledged. but they are still there, and it's worth mentioning).

both of these truths can coexist. dan is not wrong in saying that the government in singapore is homophobic. it is true.

it's okay to be hurt by what dan said, especially coming from his position as a white man who ultimately lives somewhere with more gay rights than us. both dan and phil make mistakes. it is okay to say that the "no homo" comment was insensitive.

i, however, think it is unreasonable to claim that dan was "stereotyping" asia as anti-gay. he was talking about governments. he meant governments. even in his first reply, he was talking about governments specifically. it was never about asia, or our culture or our people. saying that he is stereotyping is a clear sign of misreading intentions and his message.

i must add that this is a queer issue, and dan has experience with that. though he is not speaking as a person who lives in asia, he is speaking as a queer person being censored. it sucks. it sucks for him, it sucks for all of us. i probably will never be able to see TIT live, but at least i can rest in the fact that it wasn't for lack of trying.

it's something emotional for all us SEA phannies, i guess. but this is for the phannies who don't live in SEA that don't really understand the situation here. as a person who lives here i find the way dan acted reasonable and though phrased insensitively at first, didn't say anything untrue.

again, this is a sad thing. feel free to come into my ask box and talk to me, i'd love to connect with more phannies in SEA!!! and if you disagree with me, then go ahead and reply to this or whatever. but this is just me speaking as a person who lives in singapore. yea

[heavyhitterheaux]

"Why were you calling my daddy daddt last night, mommy? "

It was the middle of the day and you were confused on why Ivy had been extra attached to Jack and let out a sigh when you had asked her to do something. Yes, she was a daddy's girl but it seemed like today she wasn't letting him out of her sight. Autumn was already down for her afternoon nap while Axel had slowly drifted off to sleep as he cuddled against your chest, leaving Ivy as the last one awake.

“Babe, you want me to order food or did you have something in mind that we were going to fix?” Jack asked as he scrolled through his phone and Ivy being the nosey child she was, had been looking over his shoulder to see what had him so interested.

“You, my wonderful husband, are not going anywhere near the kitchen.” You replied as he instantly sucked his teeth.

“I'm getting better! I made you a five layer grilled cheese after I…”

You instantly put a hand over his mouth as your eyes went wide. You knew that Ivy wouldn't understand, but you knew that she was probably going to repeat it at the worst possible time.

All Jack did was wiggle his eyebrows as you rolled your eyes.

“You got lucky last night. Who knows what will happen next time.”

“I sure did get lucky.” Jack said as he leaned to whisper in your ear making you laugh as Ivy turned up her nose.

“Daddy, what's so funny? I wanna laugh too.” Ivy asked as she now moved to sit in Jack’s lap wanting all of his attention to be on her.

“Nothing, Ivy. Just something I wanted to tell your mom.”

She rolled her eyes and you caught it and looked at her and immediately asked for an explanation.

“Ivy, lose the attitude, now. What is going on?”

“You’re trying to steal daddy away from me!”

“What? Ivy, if it wasn't for your mom, you wouldn't be here.” Jack quickly answered as you were still trying to understand why she was acting that way towards you.

“Why were you calling my daddy daddy last night, mommy?” Ivy asked and at that moment, Jack was drinking his water and his eyes went wide as he tried not to choke on it as he made a face at you.

“Umm, you might have been imagining things, Ivy.” You said as you tried to come up with an explanation.

“Cause I thought daddy was your husband?”

“He is.”

“So, he can't be your daddy too.” Ivy responded as she was thinking out loud.

“He's not.”

“Hmm, says who?” Jack whispered, but you heard him and you quickly pinched him making him yelp.

“As long as daddy still loves me.”

“Of course I do, bubs. And I love your mom, too.” He replied as he kissed the top of her head.

“Okay! Can I have a popsicle?”

“Yeah, you go first and I'll meet you in the kitchen.”

Ivy slid off Jack’s lap and immediately ran into the kitchen as he turned to you and busted out laughing.

“I told you that you were too loud, baby.” He said as he wrapped his arms around you and kissed you.

“You get on my last nerve.”

“Hey, don't get mad at me.” Jack responded as he held his hands up in defense.

All you did was roll your eyes as you adjusted Axel in your arms.

“Lose the attitude before daddy teaches you a lesson. Just wait until all three of them take their nap.”

[valictini]

I've been asking myself these questions regarding totk's story and my deep disappointment in it, because I know a lot of people loved it, I know a lot of people felt it was a better story than botw, and I know a lot of people believe that Zelda games never had good stories to begin with....

But no, I do think the story objectively sucks, is worse than botw's, and could have easily been better. Totk's story is flashier and that's pretty much all it has to offer.

Part of it is its execution, how using the same blueprint as botw (deliberately non linear) was a baffling move when you tried to tell a linear story. You shouldn't be punished for pursuing the story earlier than when the devs planned. You shouldn't be able to spoil yourself the story. You shouldn't be presented with the exact same information 4+ times at points where you're supposed to be rewarded for your efforts. You shouldnt have to slog through a mystery when the game KNOWS you already know the answer. And yet, this happened to an alarmingly large number of people!

So yes, the execution wasn't good.

But the story itself isn't good either. Not only did they decide to cut ties with botw's lore, but they didn't even fully commit to the new lore they introduced.

The zonai civilisation has no substance. We see two (2) of its members and only interact with their ghosts in very, very few instances. During those interactions, we do learn tidbits of this civilisation, but as soon as the tutorial is over, you will never learn anything new from a zonai again. A couple lines during the tutorial is where the bulk of zonai lore happens. The rest is: jumping minigame said to be the same ritual young zonai would do to become adults and the explanation of draconification.

You could maybe say that the mere existence of zonai tech, the mere existence of secret stones, the zonai gear and the ancient hero aspect could be considered zonai lore. But what these things only really add to the lore is that the Zonai 1) were always everywhere and 2) were very powerful. That's pretty much it.

(The ancient hero aspect is especially infuriating to me. It could be a whole post.)

So, not only did they replace the Sheikah by the Zonai for no reason, they didn't even flesh them out enough to be interesting. But they didn't exploit the rest of the story to its fullest either.

- The heart of the story happens in the ancient era, yet we don't see much of it. All the new things we see: the inside of ancient hyrule castle's throne room, a garden and one (1) gazebo in a field. We don't get lore for the dungeons aside from their name, and the ancient sages don't add anything to them either. In general, we don't get lore of the ancient races, not even the hylians or the gerudos.

- Zelda was retconed into being stupid enough not to make the connection between Ganondorf and calamity Ganon. She was also sent back into being a compliant little princess that can't put her foot down when she knows the people around her are making mistakes.

(As an aside, I'm fully of the opinion that Calamity Ganon was a better antagonist than Ganondorf. At least you don't have to fanfic your way into understanding why he wants Hyrule destroyed. He's a magical beast full of hatred, the end.)

- The whole plot is centered around dragons, and yet totk manages to have LESS content surrounding the three dragons of Hyrule than fucking botw.

- Hylia is no relevant anymore. The statues are apparently their own entities? And they have counterparts in the depths with he bargainer statues? Never elaborated on.

The ending cutscene contains a deus ex machina that manages to retcon elements of its OWN story. (Rauru was supposed to be gone after the tutorial. Zelda was supposed to be gone after becoming a dragon.) Realistically, I knew Zelda wouldn't stay a dragon, but I was genuinely shocked at how little of an explanation we get for her return.

And we have 0 impact on her return as a player. Nothing we do matters. She turns back no matter what. Despite many opportunities to make it work in universe.

We could have had something tied with the other dragons, the three sources, to Purah's experiments with time, to the four temples, to Hylia, to the bargainer statues, to the triforce...

But no, just a vague "ghosts that should have disappeared eons ago use their powers to get her back through your arm".

We don't even have an alternate bad ending where this doesn't happen. It will happen, no matter what. For the cinematic shot at the end.

Oh and Link had to get his arm back too. I know they needed their cool parallel of Link catching her hand at the same angle as when he failed to do so at the beginning, but it just all feels so inconsequential as a result.

Everything's solved, everything's good, nothing that happened in this game ever mattered.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Hi roman. I know this is very weird, but i've seen you give some life advice to other people, so i thought i could give it a try too. Don't answer if you don't want to. Anyway

Do you have any advice/tips for a 15 y/o who thinks they just have no control over their life? Like, my concentration is dog shit, i think my grades are slipping. My executive dysfunction so bad and i think i'm disappointing a lot of people. I have no idea how to handle anything in my life. I can't force myself to do the things i need to (not that that'd be any good, i'll immediately cry lol). I just, don't fucking know how i could make things better for myself. And i can't really talk to adults about it, they'll repeat the stuff i already know, and i am the worst person to put their feelings into words, so they'll prob never understand. Not in the edgy way.

Yeah so sorry for half venting into your ask box. Thank you in advance if you'll answer it, if it's too weird and you don't want to do that for whatever reason, that's ok. Peace and love <3

Dude, you’re unfortunately suffering from being 15. And possibly a learning disorder. Godspeed to you.

And I don’t say that to belittle your problems. In many ways as a teenager you don’t have control over a lot of things. You’re still under the control of your parents, you’re still learning how to deal with adult level emotions and ideas. A lot is expected of you and a lot of things are made to seem more important than they are. It’s hard to tell what’s actually important and what’s just adults blowing things out of proportion. It sucks and it’s frustrating!

If you can, you might want to talk to a counselor. If your parents or guardians are anti-counseling you might try to talk to someone at your school like a teacher or administrator or school nurse about the possibility of getting counseling without your parents knowing. Some schools have programs like that.

The adults closest to you might not understand but if you keep looking you’ll eventually find someone who remembers what it’s like to be in your shoes.

And I remember fully feeling like I’d never get control over anything. The end goal of life was graduation from high school and god only knows if I keep existing after that. But the thing is, you do! You keep existing and you figure a lot of stuff out. Wisdom does come with time, it turns out. And legally and practically you end up getting a lot more autonomy as time goes on.

And I know hearing things like this might not feel comforting. When you’re stuck, you’re stuck and no matter how much you logically know it’ll get better right now it sucks.

Just find ways to keep going. And try asking for help sometimes. If your family won’t listen, find someone who will. Take the time to write down your problems and how you feel if you can’t come up with explanations of what’s going on. Or find a friend to talk it out with so you can practice explaining yourself.

If there’s one thing I can promise you, when you’re a couple years into adulthood all of the problems from your teenage years start to feel small. At the time they were big and important though. And that’s what you’re going through right now. And a lot of adults forget about that. Hang in there, and when all of this is behind you, remember how hard it was and maybe someday you can help someone like you.

I’m sorry if all that wasn’t helpful. I don’t know too much about your individual situation. But ask for help when you can. Someone out there understands. You’ll find them.

[traincat]

You know something I just noticed? I don't... actually like Peter Parker.

No, seriously, I like the CONCEPT of Spider-Man and yeah, he's funny at times, but... I can't actually get invested in his canon self. It's ridiculous, it feels less like he's an interesting character and more being a superhero is the ONLY way to make him interesting (I know that's the charm), but...

Like, his phrase, "With great power comes great responsability", it feels... I don't know, childish? I like that nobody's FORCING him to be a hero, but he ALWAYS finds a way to make himself feel guilty over something and his assholeness is funny, but... not necessarily healthy?

The only thing going for him is Spider-Man, which ALSO destroys his life and I know that's somewhat unintentional, but I'm kinda tired of him angsting all the time. For instance: him not killing is Noble, him comiting to his City is admirable. It also makes it so he doesn't really prioritize people unless they had a HUGE impact in him and him not killing, makes the WORST consequences imaginable at times.

Or his "I know better" catastrophic. He's a good character for sure, but... I wouldn't want to be him. Like at all, his powers are cool, yet... that's it. I like his concept more than his canonical self (hell, I prefer his FANON self), the only somewhat exception is his Lego version, but that's cause everyone's sillier.

It's that weird or something? 😶

Anon I sincerely mean no offense but there's two explanations for this ask and one is that you're trolling me and the other is that you haven't really read much Spider-Man. I'm going to assume it's the second to be nice and because you've kind of hit two points that bother me in this fandom and thrown them together in the wash: the first is people forcing themselves to like Spider-Man because they feel like they should and in the process forcing him into this little box of bland and inoffensive likability (fanon Peter) and the second is just. being wrong about basic facts about Spider-Man but assuming they're right because Spider-Man being one of the most popular IPs in the world means everyone thinks they know everything about Spider-Man based on one catchphrase and half a Raimi movie.

And it makes me feel like this.

Like this is not your fault! These assumptions you've brought into my inbox are not your fault. Spider-Man marketing is set up around making people feel like they know Spider-Man and it's a fucking problem because it means people come into a six decade long soap opera with hardline beliefs already stamped on them and it is really hard to get people to change their opinions. I know! I was there! I was one of those people! Every day I'm thankful I didn't post fanfiction when I was in my early Spider-Man days because it would make me look like such a hypocrite but also I didn't know Spider-Man until I committed to reading eight thousand comics.

"Him being a superhero is the only way to make him interesting" potentially yes because one thing about Peter Parker that canon makes abundantly clear is that without Spider-Man he is a miserable fucking bastard. Like he sucks so bad. Spider-Man unleashes a deep well of empathy and kindness in him that might have existed but would not have surfaced without his experiences as Spider-Man because it was locked behind a concrete wall of bitterness twelve feet thick.

(Amazing Fantasy #15/Sensational Spider-Man #41)

"Him not killing is noble but" you're thinking about Batman. You are thinking about Batman. Spider-Man "doesn't kill" the way I'm "not writing this post right now." Peter aims not to kill. Peter talks a whole big game about not killing. His track record on that goal is not great. I have a whole post about that here. (cw for discussions of suicide related to Spider-Man vs Wolverine.)

Like, the thing about Peter and I think this is actually one of the biggest things about Peter is that you can't take what he says about himself 90% of the time too seriously. He is NOT an unbiased narrator of his own life. He will say one thing in his own internal narration and then you will be shown something completely different and you need to trust what you see and not what he tells you.

"Gee whillickers I've never done any crime" says man who literally only does crime. (Web of Spider-Man #43)

Two things can be true simultaneously: Peter can have a no kill rule and Peter can be spectacularly bad at enforcing himself on this rule, because he is a giant hypocrite who believes in double standards for himself first and not for anyone else ever after. This is part of what makes him an interesting character -- it is not hard to push Peter over that no kill line. The character will go there. It's up to the writer, then, to keep Spider-Man's I would say unearned squeaky clean no murder image by throwing a wrench into his plans.

(ASM #595/ASM #637/ASM #542)

This is not the place for my unhinged powerpoint presentation about how Marvel has backed themselves into a corner on reversing One More Day because to do so with the appropriate narrative weight calls for Peter to kill the Kingpin. He SAID he was going to kill him. And he IS. (He just didn't say he would do it right now.)

"I wouldn't want to be like him" neither would I!! But I am going to argue that this is where Spider-Man marketing has failed everybody because, while there are certainly traits about Peter you're supposed to admire (for all I have been and will keep ragging on him he is without a doubt a bottomless well of goodness and he is one of the most deeply kind, if not nice, characters in the American pop culture landscape), whether or not you want to be a character is not a good litmus test for what makes a good character.

"With great power comes great responsibility is corny" is like. Did you know that the phrase doesn't originate with either Peter or Uncle Ben. The origin of the phrase is in the ending narration of Amazing Fantasy #15, after Peter stops himself from killing the burglar who killed Uncle Ben. It is literally Stan Lee and Steve Ditko making a point to the audience, and that point was later put in Uncle Ben's mouth. Is it corny because it's actually corny? Or is it corny because it has been so endlessly parodied by bad faith actors that its meaning has been diminished? Because all the phrase is doing is pointing out that people with more power (be it physical, economic, or societal) have a greater responsibility to those with less power than them. Because Peter has these gifts, he owes it to other people to act responsibility. You can sum up Spider-Man as a story about power and abuse: the villains abuse their power. Spider-Man is different than the villains because, though he has great power, he chooses not to abuse it. Spider-Man as a character is a distillation of Tikkun Olam, a Jewish principle that means "healing the world." "You do not have to finish the work, but you cannot abandon it." This is why Spider-Man is street level. He doesn't have to finish the work. He doesn't have to save the whole world. He just has to do what is in his power to do, every single day, and that's where the conflict comes in, because it would be easier for him to walk away, but because he has the power, and because he is an ethical man, he can't. And this concept was distilled down very, very well in "with great power comes great responsibility" because it's a very simple phrase that takes a complex ethical issue and makes it easy to understand.

"Ordinary. Saddest face I ever saw. He tries to smile, but I know it hurts. This is all for my benefit. He wants me to be okay, and he's giving me this." (Spectacular Spider-Man v2 #14)

Spider-Man is not a faceless cardboard cutout you're supposed to endlessly project on and the Disneyified marketing's insistence on that is what ends up with people insisting that a character who has remained popular in the culture for six decades has zero actual personality traits and is instead just some mirror to hold up against the viewer, letting them reflect whatever they want back on him. And it sucks.

And then I, as a person who loves canon 616 Peter and think he's one of the most complex and realistic characters ever written specifically because he is so flawed, end up writing these screeds even though I told myself I wasn't doing Spider-Man discourse any longer.

me @ myself.

But like here's the thing about the second point: you are not obligated to like any character. This has been bothering me about greater Spider-Man fandom (and adaptations) for years because I think there's this incredible push for people to like Peter Parker. There's this feeling like, yeah, you have to like this guy, because he's so popular, and because so much of the marketing is based upon everyone liking him. The truth of the matter is not every character is going to resonate with every fan and that's totally normal. But there's this idea that you have to like Peter Parker especially, because he's the relatable superhero, but no one character is going to be relatable to everyone, and in order to make him more relatable to the widest audience possible (the most desirable to advertisers audience possible) (white cis goyishe straight men ages 8-40) (who might buy a sportscar) his actual personality has to be watered down as much as possible so he can be used, essentially, as a mirror to reflect the audience, instead of as a fully developed character that the audience can empathize with if not relate to. This is why the MCU movies look like that. It's why the last few comic runs have looked like that. You are not obligated to like Peter Parker if he doesn't work for you. There is literally nothing wrong with that. But so much of Spider-Man fandom is built on people who don't like canon Peter and instead erode his personality in various ways to fit him into neat little boxes which is how we end up with fanon Peter, who resembles, in practice, what you're describing a lot more than canon Peter does. And if you like fanon Peter, that's fine. Lots of people like fanon Peter! That's why he's so widespread, because he's much easier for fans to project whatever they want to on him. That's not an insult, but an observation, because I think he serves a purpose. It's not canon Peter's purpose, and it's not a purpose I personally am interested in, which is also fine, because not everything works for every person.

Canon Peter is complicated, and he doesn't always do the most likable thing, and he has a lot of flaws, but that's what makes him interesting and so fully developed. And a fully developed character is one not everyone is going to like. There's literally nothing wrong with that.

(ASM #129)

[nothingbutnowhere]

Part 2 soft!Simon x hypervigilant!reader

Part 1

You don't absolutely need to read the last part to understand this, but it's in the same universe.

Edit for explanation in notes I forgot not everyone knows what a CPAP device is lol, someone tell my why I have sleep headcanons for all my blorbos

Notes: domestic as fuck, Simon snores & uses a CPAP (a device that helps with sleep apnea, looks like this, he definitely has to use a full mask there's no way that man's nose isn't broken to hell and back and has difficulty breathing, why do you think he wears a mask (so he can breathe warm, humid air which is much better for your lungs)) reader is referred to as 'girl' by Simon, referenced off screen sex, teasing and banter

...

The after-sex-cuddles-but-before-bed ritual is set in stone. You both get up, Simon folds up the sex blanket (second best purchase of your life) and cleans your vibrator (the best purchase of your life), while you prep a warm washcloth. He helps you wipe down, he calls you 'messy girl' each time like he didn't contribute half of it. You still blush.

Brushing your teeth together, it often hits you how domestic this all is. Some nights it's painful and Simon holds you until you stop shaking, other nights you're smiling so hard it's difficult to brush. Tonight is somewhere in the middle. Melancholic. Quiet. He shoos you into the bedroom after you're done, turning off the light and closing the door on the way out.

Simon grabs you as soon as you sit on the bed and pulls you down into him, strong arms surrounding you, face nuzzling into your neck like a cat. But you see through the trick.

"Put your CPAP on before you fall asleep."

"Don' wanna," he says sleepily, "Can't do this w'the bloody thing on."

It's true, spooning with the CPAP sucks (unless he's the little spoon) but that's not what the current objective is.

"Simon," you warn.

You try to wriggle out of his arms to no avail.

"Simon Riley put it on right now or so help me god you'll be sleeping on the couch for the next week," your mock 'upset' tone is always only half serious, made even less so by the punctuating yawn.

For both your sake's you need the 'bloody thing'. For one, you'll sleep like shit if he's snoring in your ear and for two he's always in a much better state when sleeping with the CPAP. He's told you he sleeps like shit when he's gone and you tut that it's because he doesn't have access to it. He said it was 'cause he didn't have access to something else and that was the end of that conversation (he went to bend you over the kitchen counter but you slipped away giggling, only to end up tossed over his shoulder on the way to the bedroom).

"Simon."

When he doesn't move you jam your elbow back into him.

He doesn't so much as grunt at the attack, only grumbles and flips over, sitting up to flick on the lamp and mess with the machine.

You watch him as he does, muscular back on display and you resist the urge to run your hand over, lest you disrupt the process. 

He may tease you gently about your 'princess alarm clock' that wakes you up with light and birdsong, but you get him right back with references to his 'CPAP deluxe'. It's got the warm air humidifier for his 'delicate nose', all the bells and whistles.

He finishes and turns the lamp off, leaving the faint light of the street lamp to illuminate the room and him as he turns back around.

"There's my scuba diver," you giggle, tapping the mask softly.

He sighs, knowing he can't make a convincing comeback with the mask on- you'll only laugh at his attempts- and lays down on his back. You immediately snuggle up against his side, hugging his arm, leg thrown over his. His hand cradles your face for a moment, thumb sliding over your lips as a good night kiss before laying his hand over yours on his chest. 

It's peaceful like this. Before you needed silence to sleep but you've gotten used to the CPAP. Mostly because it means Simon's home. And now when he's gone you have to put on white noise to sleep. Nothing your princess alarm clock can't handle. There's been lots of big and small changes since Simon wedged in to your life with his puns and banter and menacing figure but it's been more than worth it.

"Love you," Simon mumbles through the mask.

"Love you too."

...

I do NOT consent for my works, part of my works, or my ideas to be used for ANY form of AI.

Part 1

A/N: I made this account to write smut and here I am with the softest slice of life blurb. Oh well. Maybe I'll write the bit after the 'access' comment, there's lots of fun places that could go.

[wehangout]

Shameless DVD Commentary

The wonderful @i-think-you-mean-reduction asked for a DVD commentary on Suncatcher! This was the first time I'd read it since finishing, so that was a lot of fun, too! This whole thing got away on me, so hit that read more if you want to read more 💜 as usual, thanks to @callivich for starting this awesome idea!

Which fanfic is your DVD commentary about?

Suncatcher!

Give us some stats - (when you wrote it, word count, how long it took to finish, is it a one-shot/multi-chapter, etc)

Okay, I started posting this in March of 2022, which leads me to believe I started writing it in 2021 (I'm on a borrowed laptop, so can't check). It took some time to finish because ~real life~ and word count hits 58,592.

What was the initial inspiration for your story?

Oooh, okay. This post. If you don't want to click, it's a text post saying "au where thief!cas tries to ride dean's dick and keep track of when his flashdrive is done stealing the contents of dean's computer at the same time". Obviously, that kind of scene never happened in Suncatcher, but vibes, you know?

If the story is written from a character’s POV, why did you choose this character?

Mostly Mickey because almost everything I write is Mickey pov. But I did experiment with this by writing those 3rd person Ian snippets, and literally the only reason for it is so the reader could be there for that moment of realisation when Ian figures it all out.

What was your favourite scene to write?

I don't know that I have one, but I really enjoyed the scene where Mickey asks Ian to come to Mexico. Getting to write them being soft, even just for a minute, was nice. And literally any of their flirty banter was fun to write lol.

How did you come up with the title?

I feel like this doesn't need an explanation, lol. I will say, though, I had three other titles in mind. I had "Denouement", "Encontrar", and "Atrapasol". Encontrar means "to find" in Spanish (because I knew it would end with them in Mexico), while "Atrapasol" means "suncatcher". At least, according to Google translate lmao.

Are there any little moments or references you hope readers will notice?

I did a reread in order to write this commentary, so, please, have a list of moments, foreshadowing, and references.

* Mickey's nautical-themed sleeve! “Sailing? Nah, man. I just really like pirates.” Get it? Because he's a thief? And pirates steal shit? Literally no one caught onto that haha * “Uh … growing up the way I did, I’m probably better at the B&E itself rather than tryin’ to solve it.” -- Mickey literally says this in the first chapter lmao * His mind doesn’t go over every detail of the North Side burglaries and he doesn’t obsess over the thief committing them. No thief. Just a bartender. Just Mickey. -- Um, hello? * “Never gonna give that up, are we?” “Never gonna live it down.” “Those aren’t the lyrics.” “Okay, lyric police.” -- 27 Dresses, thank you * Ahh, Mickey's blowjob tattoo. The amount of erotic tattoo designs I looked at for this, but nothing was right. Until Mitch 💜 * He snorts. “Clearly you don’t know many writers.” “I don’t. Should I?” “No. They’re the worst.” -- I'm dying 😂 * Well, this really has turned into a commentary, huh? Apologies. * "A little dry, to be honest." Chapter 3 and 9. Did anyone catch that?

Was there anything you struggled to write? If so, how did you overcome this?

The last two chapters. Life completely turned upside-down on me and I couldn't write a thing. Zero motivation, infinity depression. Then, at the beginning of this year ... I dunno. I don't know what happened, but suddenly I was writing again and I haven't stopped yet.

Favourite line in the story?

“Catch me if you can, motherfucker.”

“Two, I give you the keys to the cuffs and leave. But first I suck your dick until you come down my throat.”

“I’ll give you what you want, Red, you just have to decide what you want more; the thief, or his mouth?”

“I didn’t do anything,” he whispers. “You did everything, Ian.”

“Interesting,” he says. “I was already half in love with you by then.” 😭

“I’m gonna fuck you now. You know that, right?” You groan and drop your head. “You might just break my fucking heart if you don’t, Gallagher.”

“So long as that lover is you, Gallagher.”

Did the storyline change in any way as you wrote the story?

Yeah, but only chapters 9 and 10. Initially I was going to write Ian having a depressive episode and Mickey talking to him about everything while he was down, but I hated the idea. I didn't want it to seem like Mickey/the thief was the cause of his episode, and I also didn't want to use it as a tool. The idea changed into a possible attack on Ian, but that still wasn't working for me. So, instead, you got the scene with Mickey handcuffed and Ian asking questions. I switched the vulnerability around and made it way more fun.

If you are writing a particular trope or genre, was it your first time writing this?

Nah. A little crime with my romance is my go-to lol

What are you most proud about in the story? (plot, characterisation, dialogue, twist/cliffhanger, etc)

Finishing it. Kidding. Kinda. Not really.

Actually, though, the dialogue and banter is pretty good. It reads very natural, so I'm proud of that.

Are there any deleted scenes that didn’t make it to the final story?

Only what I mentioned above. I wrote the attack on Ian, Mickey sitting with him in hospital ... it wasn't good.

Are there any ‘behind the scenes’ info you’d like to share - e.g. what’s going on in a characters head in a certain scene or how you came to write a certain line?

Oh, the moment where Ian finds the camera and leaves it. He'd just heard Mickey tell him that he stopped watching before things got interesting, and that's what he's thinking about as he puts the camera back down with a smirk. About Mickey not stopping just as things get interesting. I had thought about writing it, too. A scene where Mickey doesn't close the laptop, working consent into it and Ian putting on a fucking show

Reading back the story now, is there anything you’d change or add?

I don't think so. I'm pretty happy with most of it.

Would you ever write a sequel to this story?

Kinda did. Wouldn't be opposed to doing more. All the cream pie banter I'm rereading is def giving me inspo for if I write more of them oops

Are there any ‘easter eggs’ in your story - e.g. references to other stories you’ve written, a trope you often use etc?

I think I mentioned this in the commentary for Thicker Than Forget, but Jim Morrison/The Doors lyrics. I don't know, man, it just works for me haha.

Also the name thing - Gallagher/Ian/baby and Mickey/Mick.

There's also the line "It’s gone from bartender and customer having a bit of fun flirting and teasing, to silk sheets and Nine Inch Nails pounding through the speakers." - The NIN might be a reference to Help Me (Tear Down My Reasons) 😏 iykyk

Were you nervous or excited to post this story?

Excited. Probably more excited to post ch2, though, just for the reaction to Mickey being the thief haha

Did you have a beta or a friend who helped you as you wrote?

@whaticameherefor always 💜

Ask your followers to pick a snippet (no more than 500 words) and share your thoughts about it.

@i-think-you-mean-reduction asked for the scene where Ian asks Mickey on a date which I've pasted below.

A couple of notes on it:

The Riverwalk Cocktail Festival is a real thing in Chicago

I put a stupid amount of research into finding them the perfect date and this just fits.

Reading it back, I love that the Mickey doesn't think of the thief or anything to do with that shit once during this conversation. It's just two guys who like each other, and one's asking the other out on a date. It's just happy.

I think Mickey was so surprised that Ian was asking him out that everything he said and felt and thought was genuine. He even has a moment of "Fucking finally" that he doesn't mean to say, but 100% means.

I'm sad they never did it.

“Just my gut.” He pauses. Smiles. “Speaking of … in the interest of trusting my gut with my personal life as well as my professional life, have you heard of the Riverwalk Cocktail Festival next month?” Your heart skips a beat. Yeah, you’re heard of the fucking festival, and you can’t believe Ian’s doing this. “I’ve been a few times,” you tell him. “Sandy and I go under the pretence of work, and then get shit-faced.” “Okay, so do you maybe wanna go again?” He fingers go back to the coaster, but again he keeps eye contact. “But, you know, with me instead of Sandy.” There’s nothing romantic about the Riverwalk Cocktail Festival unless you go to the Riverwalk Cocktail Festival with romantic intentions. If you go with a date then it’s stupidly fucking romantic and you and Sandy used to talk shit about those assholes every chance you got, but … But the idea of being one of those couples, of going with Ian and having it be romantic … it makes you sick to your stomach how much you like the idea. “You askin’ me on a date, Gallagher?” He stares at you, eyes wide and honest. “Yeah.” “Fuckin’ finally.” You don’t mean to say it. You think it and you mean it, but you don’t mean to say it. Ian’s smile, though, makes the slip worth it. “So that’s a yes?” “Yeah.” “Good.” He smiles. Fucking beams. “Because I’ve already bought tickets, so I would’ve been kinda fucked if you’d said no.” “You already bought tickets?” “Some might call it presumptuous; I call it optimistic.” You shake your head. “Ian, man, those tickets are expensive as fuck –” “Doesn’t matter.” “Matters. At least let me pay you back for mine.” You already know he won’t let you pay for both of them. “Not a chance. This is me trusting my gut, asking you out, and feeling really good about it.” A smile pulls at the corner of your mouth. “Oh yeah?” “Yeah.” He smiles right back. “You wanna pull me out of that good feeling, the one I get when you agree to go on a date with me, by bringing up my money woes? Or do you wanna talk about our date and agree upon matching outfits?” “You better be fucking joking.”

Anything else you’d like the readers to know about the story?

So, as mentioned above there was a good chunk of time where nothing was updated. If you were someone who left a kudos or a comment or messaged me on here during that time, or even continued reading when I finally updated, please know it meant a lot.

[igglemouse]

I wake up feeling different, as if there is a new purpose humming within me. It's barely there, I admit, but I do know it wasn't there before. Maybe it's because for the first time I felt welcome? Sure, sure, SUUUUURE, it was by a vampire, an actual blood sucking leech on two legs but...I was feeling welcome for the first time in a long time. That I could be part of something or rather part of whatever they have planned. I'm not sure what I'm stepping into, or rather if I'm stepping into anything at all.

Whatever the day decides to throw my way brownies shall help me prepare for it. At least that's what I'm telling myself. I'm a bit delusional, as you can tell, just let me have my delusions?

So I do the usual, clean my floors and myself and end up watching TV any ways which is a box full of delusions. Just trying to pass time I guess, I don't know. Honestly, what even is my life?

Well, it's Friday, so something has to happen. Things usually happen on Friday's, right?

And I was right, something DOES happen A knock at the door and on the other side some random guy. A handsome random guy, I should add, calling himself 'Niklas Krausser'. It's a name I'm sure to remember because it belongs to a man ridiculously hot. Tall, well defined features, and a bit of a presence to him. Hard to explain. There is a sense of magic to him, I know that at once. As they say, it takes one to know one.

"And what brings you to my door, Niklas?" I ask, pretending to be casual despite this unexpected twist to my day.

"I've heard a lot about you," his reply has a smoothness to it. "But..."

"But?"

"There's not much magic to you after all," he continues and now I think he's sizing me up. I should be worried, after all, there are people out there who would like me dead but I'm guessing if that was his intention I would be already. "There's a flicker there, faint....barely noticeable at all."

"Sorry to disappoint," I feel a little stung and a need to defend myself. "I've been excluded from the super secret magic club all of my life so you can't blame me."

"Heh, fair enough," he says with a chuckle. "If its any consolation you're not missing out on much," his eyes linger on me a little longer and I'm starting to realize he's not sizing me up for my magical abilities. "May I?" he asks with a tilt of his head.

Ladies, it's not wise to let strange men into your home but my life needs a little spice so why not?

Mr. Krausser settles himself comfortably on the couch in my very plain and lame living room. He doesn't fit here. The bare walls and cheap furniture make him stand out a little more than he should. He lounges as if he's a king, full of confidence, talking about the weather and local news at first before we get into what he's likely really here for. Magic.

"You should know, magic is quite overrated," he says waving his hand as if to emphasize this point.

I'm blinking, confused, because, "How can magic be overrated?"

"Don't be silly, Gracelyn, it's all a bit shallow, isn't it?"

And now I'm crossing my arms, demanding more of an explanation. "Shallow? Some can bend reality with, can't they?"

He shrugs because this is an argument I'm sure he's heard before. "But should we allow others to bend reality? Is it truly worth it?"

"Yeaaa...." I'm not a big fan of philosophy.

"Most of us," he continues. "About 99% actually, can't do much. Determine the flip of a coin or your typical parlor tricks," again a hand wave, he makes it all seem rather boring.

"Yes but, a coin flip could change the future? Butterfly effect?" he's not moving, another shrug of those shoulders of his. "You could at least use it for better, clean up big with it, walk out a winner."

"Yes, sure, I guess," he's not at all convinced. "Remember, the realm frowns upon such things, so what is it really useful for?" He smirks, thinking I am defeated and perhaps I am. I'm no expert on magic after all.

He's right. The Realm has strict rules that apply, ironically, all outside of the realm, from what I understand. A spellcaster cannot use magic to manipulate others or alter the world in their favor in any way. You'd be in a world of trouble for making yourself rich as the wealth brings you power and your punishment? Let's just not talk about the punishments.

"So then, why are you here?" I narrow my eyes at him, trying to draw out his purpose. "To deter me from wanting to learn it because-"

"Actually, I have no idea why I'm here!" he says throwing up his hands and looking truly perplexed.

"What?" Okay, that catches me off guard? I was expecting some serious conversation, you know, another warning. 'Don't pick up any magical books you little witch or else!' but instead I just get some clueless but clean cut nice looking guy dropping by for no reason at all? I can't help but to start laughing. "Okay, what is this about?"

He takes a long and dramatic sigh and stands, dusting himself off and then heads right for the door as if he had accomplished his goal but he doesn't get too far before I stop him.

"Look, umm, Gracelyn, this might be a mistake," he tells me, suddenly lacking the confidence that he walked in here with. "Which is wrong, mistakes don't happen, not with me, I've been led wrong before but-"

"Buuuut? But what?" I interrupt, close enough to deny him exit because now my curiosity wants to keep him here so that I can get a little more out of him. "What is this about?"

"I-it's destiny, you know? Fate?" there is an earnest energy to his voice now, his tone telling me that whatever he's going on about he truly believes it. I'm just not sure what he's talking about. "Do you believe in that? Believe in fate?"

"Maybe," I hesitate, what else am I to say. This is the same guy who said magic was overrated not that long ago and now he's asking me to believe in it? "It could be some kind of magic, right? What is this about?"

"It's my watch, Gracelyn," he holds it up for a second, lightly tapping the glass of its face. "It leads me, guides me, to....well, fate, I guess. I've been following it all of my life and wherever it points, I go, especially when I'm lost and well...here I am, at this house, with you."

"O-oh..." well if this is a pick-up line it's rather creative. I'm a little thrown off though, trying to process it. Magic is real, of course it is, who am I to deny it? Yet if what he's saying is true... "So, let me get this straight, your watch led you to me or-"

"Or it's led me to this house," he says quietly, seemingly as confused to his purpose as I am. "Which I guess is possible but..." he lets that thought hang, rubs the back of his neck and takes a deep breath. "I need to go, I guess I'll figure it out later, huh? Like I said, magic is soo overrated."

But after he left I found myself staring at the door. He's right. There was magic in that watch, definitely, I could feel it. Even if it was just a hint, it was there and he was her. I'm not sure what that means, maybe it means nothing at all, or maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic dreaming that I'm living in a fairytale and I've met my prince charming...

Faba stood before her fires, losing herself amongst the dancing flames, letting their light reveal snatches of the world beyond. The flue flames cackling and spitting, telling her of what was to come, telling her that the world was changing. Not only the one she once called home, but all of the worlds, every where.

The balance was shifting and it was impossible to tell which way it was shifting. Good? Bad? That's all a matter of perspective, isn't it? Change was neither but it was always inevitable.

In this case, her focus was on the girl called Gracelyn. Faba had been tasked with watching her for some time as she was exiled due to the punishment of her parents. Innocence, caught in the wrongdoings of another, she knew the story all too well, but Faba wasn't interested in Gracelyn's past, it was her future. Her potential a flame waiting to ignite, but who would spark the match?

"So, did it work?" Simeon asked, fixed on the mirror above the fireplace and on both of their reflections. To him, the fire didn't have magic, he never quite understood what Faba saw in it but he was no seer. She could read it as if it were a book.

"Maybe," she mumbles, still lost in its tales. "Time will tell."

"Faba..." Simeon's voice was low in warning. "A lot is riding on this, everything is riding on this, will the two pair?" He didn't need to speak their names, no, there was power in names and when one speaks yours they tie your destiny to you and he wanted to keep Gracelyn's fate far from his own. At least for now.

According to Faba, Gracelyn had several possible futures and according to her she was doing all she could to nudge her down the most preferable one. Like some twisted fairytale she had manipulated Niklas' watch, speeding up time, speeding up his fate. He was meant to meet her, Faba did see that, but it was a little later in her life, not now. Niklas was a protege of Simeon, a promising one at that, she just hoped this would be best for the both of them.

"Well?" Simeon asked, desperate. His plan was simple but...

"Time isn't linear, Simeon, you know that," she said, not turning to look back at him because she thought this plan was rash and foolish. "They have met, that much I know. What happens now I cannot say."

Episode List - Next