#i think my brain stopped functioning
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good lord...
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This came to me in a dream??
#that's what your brain does when it mixes two of your hyperfixations together#well at least they're together#exploring the backrooms with your boyfriend for eternity#what a date#I also think it would be really funny if they actually had internet on their phones and the battery never ran out#you can tell that Majima is suffering but he's also enjoying himself#I think he just stopped functioning properly lol#and Kiryu just lost it he can't take it anymore#he misses Haruka; fighting thugs on the street; drinking stamina X; playing Pocket Circuit;...#yakuza#like a dragon#ryu ga gotoku#rgg#龍が如く#真島吾朗#桐生一馬#真桐#桐真#goro majima#kiryu kazuma#majima goro#kazumaji#fanart#my art#gazkerber#gazkamurocho#illustration#games#videogames#the backrooms
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i told my friend how interesting it is that Akechi appeared immediately after they defeated Yaldabaoth, while the other phantom thieves' wishes took until after the new year to manifest and my friend said "that probably means joker was thinking of akechi the entire time they were fighting yaldabaoth, wishing he was there with them" and im NOT OKAY ANYMORE
#yaldabaoth mentioned akechi once during that velvet room confrontation and joker's brain stopped functioning#but for real though#i think joker wished akechi could have been there defeating that god with them#it's what akechi deserved after being used as a pawn in some dumb game#i'll always be sad that atlus never let akechi face off against shido or yaldabaoth. from a thematic perspective#because every phantom thief got to face the person who was hurting them#i guess that lack of closure is supposed to be part of the injustice in akechi's life but they still couldve acknowledged how unfair it was#but no they just never bring it up ever :')#someone save these characters from the writers#p5r#persona 5#p5#goro akechi#akira kurusu#shuake#my post#persona 5 royal#p5r akechi#p5r akira
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Sometimes I start getting worried for no reason like “oh no what if people take issue with my different species in worldbuilding projects having different physical needs and abilities because it could lead to inequality” as if that isn’t an interesting and worthwhile topic to think about in itself. We have a society of ONE sapient species and we still have endless variation in our experiences and one million inequalities bitch you think it won’t be a problem when there’s even MORE variety? Dont you want to think about how this manifests and how people accommodate (or don’t accommodate!) these differences. Don’t you love passively generating entirely fictional toxic tumblr discourse threads <- don’t actually do that part I think it fuels the anxiety even if it’s fun in abstract
#Con stop yapping#ALL THIS aside I comma personally think it’s lazy to flatten every species into#a range of similar/functionally the same physiology#what do the spread of civilizations look like when half the population is bound to warm humid environments?#what do accommodations look like for a wet guy having to live in a dry place?#what about when one species is massively more adaptable than everyone else who are more specialized?#how about big differences in childrearing logistics? what if you hibernate? what if what it what iff#there’s definitely areas where I KNOW I would be out of my depth and therefore would#only b able to do surface level stuff with it#but that’s life sometimes you have to be honest about your limitations as a single guy with a weasel for a brain
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*picks up megaphone in a public square* MOONLIGHT CHICKEN IS THE BEST SHOW!
I lost my mind several times during the third episode, but here are the top three:
Ten seconds! That's all that Alan was on the screen, but he has been a lurking presence for three entire episodes. What made this so unexpected was that I thought Wen was alone in the apartment as usual, but Alan had been there the ENTIRE time. Wen just didn't care!
This was brief, but it packed a punch. The backstory. The rings. The phone. The similar issue that will arise and cause MAJOR conflict between Wen and Jim about infidelity. This was gooood!
I screamed. I actually let out an audible sound from my body. I was happy for Heart reminiscing about his great day while laying in bed, THEN HE TURNED AROUND!!!!!!
Deceased.
Out of commission.
File not found.
Fatality.
#Moonlight Chicken#Episode 3 took me out#Heart x Li Ming#Jim's backstory#Wen not giving one eff that Alan was home#Leng and his woman feeling like a real couple#Khaotung looking delicious as usual#So many moments but my brain stopped functioning in the last five minutes of the episode#I can't think#Only screams
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"I do believe I have been changed for the better."
#gelphie#glinda upland#galinda upland#elphaba thropp#wicked#wicked musical#helen woolf#lucie jones#id in alt text#s: for good#i wanted to write a caption but i couldn't think of any. my brain stops functioning whenever i see a Hat Touch™ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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not for anything but friendly reminder that ~fandom discourse~ about where women belong (or people you perceive as women) is misogynistic as fuck. or what they're allowed to say, or what they're allowed to write about, or what they're allowed to enjoy.
next time you see someone having a tantrum and vaguing, especially if their posts from week to week completely contradict each other, perhaps analyze if the common denominator is "a gross woman said something and now i'm mad" without otherwise adhering to any actual principles.
#like i wonder if someone consistently preaches that we need to respect each other's headcanons#but they are specifically bothered by women & people they assume are women#and they keep specifically complaining about how ANNOYING GIRLS are the ones with such STUPID ideas#if maybe that person is just a fucking misogynist LMAO#and maybe we shouldn't give them the time of day :)#but what do i know lol im just a dumb girl with my dumb girl brain#anyway sorry guys i hate posting vagues i think it's really immature but like how much of this do we fucking tolerate#and can you please stop reblogging him bc tumblr's block & mute functions are terrible#if i'm not vague about it does it still count as a vague?#i hate public drama but like he didn't want to resolve it in private either and won't shut the fuck up haha sorry#but i also fucking hate bullies so#:)#also in b4 fandom clique conspiracies start floating around#if you act like a misogynist dickhead and get blocked by a bunch of people#it's not a cabal of mean girls ganging up on you#maybe you're the problem lol#knock it the fuck off aren't you tired of this it's been a year man#get a life.
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extremely extremely funny to me that sacha dhawan is like one of the only people in existence who i find attractive without any prerequisites or anything, he just is, because now every time i see a picture of him i start BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BA
#rude! actually! of him!#i do not generally find actors attractive. i like thinking about the characters they play fucking. because im invested in the characters.#my sexuality is investment in their character development#but. but. bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark-#jesus fucking christ is this how people who arent on the ace spectrum feel all the time. about more than one person???? whats wrong with#all of you how do you function. i see one picture of the man and my brain shuts off completely#i mean this has happened like once before so it shouldnt be that surprising but its also only happened once before so yes it is surprising.#stop that! ruining my cool guy persona!!!!
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Well, this is gonna be worse...
Link is here:https://x.com/RickDaSquirrel/status/1735836179822424249?s=20
#godzilla#godzilla minus one#heisei era#reiwa era#this is getting worse#imagine if these were...ahem...you know#funny if the other kaijus are watching sidelines again to these two#Minus Goji is better#hahahaha#my brain isn't functioning anymore#i cannot stop thinking about it#PLEASE LEAVE THEM BE AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS
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stuck in the what-if spiral 😭
#my brain convincing me that my what ifs are real bc of my vivid imagination... like imagining it makes it feel real#and adhd causes memory issues so I'm just. comparing it to other imaginary scenarios and/or real memories#to try and prove that my dumb spiraling isn't real or anything but to my brain I'm so scared that it almost makes it real l#literally mentally traumatizing myself because my brain won't let go of this anxiety that I've rolled my eyes at for years#like!! help!!! I'm fixating!! I've never fixated like this before but I've also never thought of A Scenario before#which is why I'm convincing myself it's real even though the logical part of me is like ????? no???????#the problem is that my anxiety brain convinces me that the logical part is just denial#which is why what-if anxieties are so dangerous for me#especially in the summer#bc then I can't think about ANYTHING else and I rationalize way too much#my mom is like ''are your worries (which I've described to her in vague terms) true? and if they're not stop worrying''#and I'm like BUT THE WHAT IF IS WHAT IF I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S TRUE!!!!!#there is no way to move beyond this that I can see it's all consuming#how can I be so totally fine for part of the day and then become non-functional with anxiety like this so quickly#and then pivot back to being totally fine later??? what's wrong with me?? why does everything feel Worse and more important this time???
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it's ALISON!
#em makes stuff#the flight of the heron#alison grant#ewen cameron#adventures of tiny keith and ewen#and alison too!!!#I actually made her in december and january but it took me until now to actually get around to taking nice photos#you may remember that the last time I drew her I put a very specific pattern on her dress and This is why!#my knee currently feels like it's being chewed on by animals but that could not stop me from taking them out to the gazebo last night#over the weekend I saw some people taking prom photos or whatever there and when I was thinking of locations I thought it would be Funny#also because I left it until quite late and I needed somewhere where a building wasn't casting a shadow :/#anyway HEY it's MAY and that means HERON TIME HOPEFULLY#want to work on fic but my brain has been and continues to be Soup.#per hap I will post some other photos of alison now that I have done these ones...#have one phrase for you and it is Functional Stays With Boning In Them
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i love you scrivener composition mode -- love from guy who got 700 words he did not expect to get tonight
#im working w new characters so i think i wrote more than i needed just bc. exposition and LEARNING!! discovery! but it was fun to just#figure them out#i did not write until 9pm which is when my brain stops functioning so i kinda just played around w it#which was what i needed i think cause new characters also i wrote so much yesterday !!!!#i know what needs to be written next and its from something i already wrote so im going to save that for tomorrow#so i have an easy starting point. and will probably play w what i wrote so its less exposition-y#i love using exposition purposefully as a discovery writer to learn as i go but i dont think exposition in this way is the right vibe for#this moment. but glad i had fun with it i love discovery writing characters!!!
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either yusei or Lenny in 40 (exact sentences)?
[ID: digital art of lenny marijuana from blaseball, done in a limited palette of shades of blue and purple. she's standing in front of a window, facing away from the viewer, smoking and looking concerned. /end ID]
i miss her every day
#waveridden.ask#waveridden.art#leonstamatis#blaseball#lenny marijuana#lenny tag#I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I LOVE HER#this was so fun. lenny <33333#also if you've made it this far in the tags you deserve to know that tb sent this and then went. i don't think that was the yugioh characte#that i meant to send. who's the little beast who's friends with jaden? who gives him an eye?#sentences that make my brain stop functioning
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Hi sel hello this is dhdjjdhfhr I'm so 🧎♀️🧎♀️ ok I was taking a break from studying right and I was scrolling twitter (I refuse to call it x) and then I found this and wHEW I need to share it cause I do not gatekeep 🙏🏻🙏🏻
https://twitter.com/innaillus/status/1723463672918368262?t=zk3oLovF_7R9MAHQNLNkoA&s=19
They have a nanami and geto version too and wow would you look at that I am now a blob on the floor ok imma go back to studying hope you have a nice day babes mwah mwah 🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️
midi. oh my god. MIDI.
rated 🔞 — look at your own risk
(i mean it . i think my heart stopped . 🐱 DROPPED)
i don’t even know what to SAY rn . oh my fucking GOD . thank you???!!!!!!????!!!!!!?!!?!!
literally out rn and i had to sit down… brain empty rn… i hope you have a good study. looked at the geto one. also the nanami. i’m. idk how i can get back to writing. i hope YOU 🫵 have the best day.
#i literally sent it to my chat w niku#we both just stopped brain functioning#we r both on a fic reading ban so we r suffering together and this one just . wow .#thank u for thinking of sharing this w me you are so sweet#even tho this fanart is anything BUT#FUCK#rated#ask#rep#midi.🥔#mididoodles
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WHY?, “Sin Imperial" // Car Sear Headrest, “I Can Play the Piano”
#Whywithaquestionmark#Car Seat Headrest#trigger warning for eating disorders I'm sorry I don't know the best way to tag them I never had to before#I was having a conversation earlier about how I have a very specific relationship with fasting#in that for me specifically I feel like it’s just slow-burn starvation#because it gave me an eating disorder#this idea that if I just stop eating then I'll lose weight and if I lose weight I'll be better#that eating was a moral failure on my part because if I just held out a little longer then I'd be beautiful#so when I'd eventually break fast because it had been days and my vision was fading#I'd make myself throw up afterwards because I had failed#that morphed into all the different little toxic relationships I have with food#I still consider myself a monster for eating#I still lie about how much or how often I eat#and after I stopped forcing myself to throw up after every meal all the consequences hit#my hair started falling out my teeth started falling out all the weight I lost came back#and there was this voice in the back of my head that said that if I had kept going none of that would have happened#and that's kind of true because either those delayed consequences wouldn't have hit#Or I would have actually succeeded in starving myself to death#anyway I relapsed after dinner tonight and purged again and the why? song came on shuffle on the drive home#and I thought it was a little ironic haha#and I ate some more when I got home and I'm really struggling with this one right now haha#because I told myself I wouldn't have anything else to eat tonight but I did and now I feel like I have to pay for it#I think people forgot I was bulimic a few years ago or I just thought I told them and didn't#because it seemed like news at the dinner table lmao#I don't talk about it a lot because it's really upsetting to people I care about#But I haven't made myself throw up in a long time so this is kind of scary I think#Or maybe I shouldn't be scared and instead I should just force of will this#back myself into a lose-lose situation where I either hate myself for eating or hate myself for starving/purging#that's the only way my brain knows how to function I guess#whoever wins we lose haha whatever
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it’s not fair that so much of my memory and cognitive function is tied up in something I cannot control or reasonably prevent
#blue chatter#EMDR therapy is genuinely helpful#but I’m starting to hate how much it impacts my ability to function afterwards#I don’t wanna feel like my consciousness is detaching from reality like a moist sticky note after every session#I don’t want to have gaps in my memory for hours afterward#it’s not fair that other people inflicted all these traumatic experiences onto me#and now I have to process them and suffer the consequences#I told my therapist today that I’m angry at myself for not being able to spin enough plates#that if I had just been more attentive and had more energy and worked on my homework like I should have#I wouldn’t have suffered nearly as much from the deep distrust and constant surveillance academically#and if I hadn’t been so easy to manipulate and groom#my parents wouldn’t have had a good reason to violate my privacy and read all my text messages and browser history#I’m angry that I never earned my right to privacy#and I’m angry at my brain now (even though I know it’s unfair)#why can’t I just process this like a normal person#why do I have to have all these new scary symptoms I’m not used to#why can’t I just get therapy and face my traumas and anxieties and get over it quickly#and I know that’s unfair. and I’d never say that to somebody else.#I just want this all to be over with. I want a life where I don’t just stop functioning once a week.#I hate having to write off the rest of the day after a session because nothing gets done#and my brain turns into goo and I feel floaty and spacey and strangely unable to move or think#it’s not usually like I can’t respond at all. or pay attention. it just takes so much effort. and my body and brain feel strangely heavy#and clumsy. like I’m walking in a mech suit or something.#I want my brain back.#but I know that getting it back means doing this work now#which sucks and I don’t like it. esp since I don’t know for sure that this will ever go away.#it’s scary to lose memories of important events and lose chunks of time and feel like I can’t trust my own version of events#how can I know if I’m being gaslit if I cant trust my memory already? it terrifies me that I’m so vulnerable#anyway. rant over. sorry y’all.
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