#i think it's funnier if he looks like a microwave

[laterreurofficial]

kagami robot dad?????????

FatherBot3000 has everything Tomoe could want in a man. He's obedient, not affectionate at all, fully autonomous, and he has wheels!

Of course, it's normal for women of her age to have a bigger appetite, so that's why she has Tatsu as a sidepiece.

[thearcherprentiss]

Criminal Minds as things my friends have said pt. 2

Emily: "At my funeral I'm going to raise up out of the coffin and say 'you didn't think you'd get rid of me that easily, did you?'."

Hotch: "No you will not. I will double kill you if you do that."

(This one is way funnier in the context of Lauren)

Reid: "Why are there no freaking tortillas in this entire goshdarn kitchen?!"

Rossi: "Woah, watch your language there."

*Henry jabbering on about something*

Emily: "Sorry, I can't focus on what you're saying with all of that Cheeto powder on your face."

JJ: "EMILY!"

Emily: "WHAT? You try listening to someone talk when they're Donald Trump orange!"

JJ: "I'm not going to fight Derek, it's beneath me."

Morgan: "The only thing beneath you is some children. Not all of them though... get it? You're short."

JJ: "Derek, I'm literally 5'7"."

Morgan: "I don't like tomatoes."

Emily: "Do you like salsa?"

Morgan: "Yeah of course, who doesn't?"

Emily: "So what I'm hearing is you're a fucking liar?"

JJ: "What did everyone do this weekend?"

Reid: "I wrote a paper on the orbitofrontal cortex of the brain!"

Morgan: "I don't know how much longer I can defend you when you act like this."

Reid: "I wish we had food here like they do in Greece. It's so much better."

Morgan: "At least we still exist. Greece isn't even a country anymore."

Reid: "Yes it is? Do you actively say these things to make me worry about you, or are you just oblivious?"

JJ, eating a microwaveable macaroni cup: "Something is off about this..."

Hotch: "Did you check the expiration date?"

JJ, emotionlessly: "*checks* It expired last year. That would explain it. *takes another bite*"

Hotch: "???"

Tara: "I think I'm telepathic."

Matt: "Why do you say that?"

Tara: "Someone was tailgating me on my way here today, and I was like 'sir I will fuck you up' in my mind, and he stopped immediately."

Luke: "Woah, maybe you are telepathic."

Tara: " That or he saw me flip him off."

Matt, facepalming: "I- nope. Never mind."

Morgan: "Well?"

Rossi: "The dog was cute, but the video was weird."

Morgan: "Your face is weird!"

JJ: "Wow, did my son teach you that burn?"

*Emily glaring at JJ*

JJ: "Why are you looking at me like that? You've been doing it all day."

Emily: "I had a dream that you had sex with Morgan last night!"

JJ: "And you're mad at ME? I should be mad at YOU for conjuring that in your subconscious!"

Morgan, playing with the kids: "Touch your nose! Now touch your ears! Now touch your hair!"

Jack: "You don't have any hair."

Morgan: "Hotch... come get your son right now."

Emily: "I don't like that guy."

Luke: "What'd he do?"

Emily: "He gave himself the nickname 'possum', and while that's not outrightly bad, it's highly questionable."

*Reid comes in with a broken bone*

Morgan: "This wouldn't have happened if you'd had more milk as a kid."

Reid: "Morgan, I was allergic."

Morgan: "Dairy allergies are fake. Just produce lactase. It's not that hard."

Reid: "I am both impressed that you know what lactase is and offended that you think I would choose to not eat cheese."

[adidastain]

just you and me

90s matt stone x fem reader

warnings: implied smut, alcohol use

notes: first person perspective (I, me, my, etc.)

word count: 2217

—

“Oh, Trey! Ah!”

I looked over at the man sitting next to me. He was pinching his nose bridge, groaning slightly.

A laugh escaped through my nose as the sound of steady thumping filled the room. My friend and I were over at her boyfriend’s house to watch football, and she sort of ditched the living room with her boyfriend to go fuck upstairs. Now I was left alone with Trey’s roommate, Matt, who seemed just as awkward as me.

My friend practically screamed, before I could hear Trey shushing her. I shook my head and Matt took his glasses off to run his palms over his face.

“Jesus Christ,” he exhaled, laughing slightly. I giggled and stood up to make my way towards the kitchen.

“You want a beer?” I asked, rummaging through their refrigerator.

“No thanks,” he huffed, standing up as well.

Matt joined me in the kitchen to toss an empty beer can in the recycling. Their kitchen was quite small, so he sort of had to shimmy past me and I swear I felt our hips brush together.

“Can you hand me that cheese?” he said.

The only cheese I could see in the fridge was a little bag of shredded cheese, labeled “Four-Cheese Mexican Blend.”

I watched him as he poured a pile of chips onto a plate, before sprinkling cheese on top and throwing it all in the microwave.

“Did you see me on Master Chef last season?” he asked, grinning. Thumping continued steadily upstairs.

“I knew you looked familiar,” I said, playing along with his joke. Matt giggled and looked down at his feet, shuffling in his position.

I watched him nibble at his fingernails as silence filled the room. He seemed so shy all the sudden; I guess that was just from the fact that we didn’t really know each other and only just met a few hours ago.

My friend had told me about him a couple times and suggested I go out with him. I think she just wanted someone to go on double dates with. It sounded pretty ridiculous, but I guess after actually meeting him I’d maybe feel better about it.

He seemed like the funny type; I could tell he and Trey were practically inseparable. They were perfect for each other. But Trey was loud, and Matt definitely wasn’t.

“It’s been five minutes now,” Matt said, looking at his watch.

“They usually go for about twenty,” I added. “Supposedly.”

Matt laughed softly. He had a cute laugh, sort of. The gap between his front teeth really did a lot for him as far as charm went.

Suddenly, the microwave beeped and he presented his award-winning dish to me. The cheese melted into one big glob that bound a bunch of chips together as well.

“Nachos,” Matt beamed.

I giggled and rolled my eyes slightly. This guy was a total dork. My friend did tell me it was time I gave dorky guys a chance, since all three of my previous boyfriends were either jocks or models. But they all sucked, so maybe she was right.

Matt picked apart the glob of chips and cheese, snacking idly. He never went back to the couch though, so long as I was still in the kitchen. I could hear Trey groaning loudly above us, while my friend whimpered and moaned with each thud.

“Great game, huh?” I asked, breaking the silence so we wouldn’t have to listen to our friends having sex for the next, who knows how many minutes.

“Yeah,” Matt said. “The uh, Ravens are really kicking ass tonight.”

He somehow kept a straight face. I guess I was a little buzzed and delirious after having one beer, but to be honest, anything was funnier than listening to people fuck.

“I don’t know anything about football,” I admitted, picking at my fingernails.

“Me neither,” he snorted. “I like basketball. And hockey.”

“Hockey’s cool,” I agreed.

Silence again. Except for the thumping and creaking and moaning.

“Oh my God,” I whispered, gripping my face with my hands. I ran my fingers through my hair, leaning forward to sort of curl up like a shrimp.

“They always do this when she’s over,” Matt sighed, his voice hushed. “Wouldn’t you think, y’know… maybe they’d get bored of it?”

I threw my hands up. “Exactly!” I huffed.

“I guess I can’t really say anything, though,” he mumbled.

“Why not?” I asked, rubbing my forehead.

Matt bit his lip, staring down at his feet. “I wouldn’t turn down getting laid.”

“Well, duh,” I snorted. “But would you ditch your friend to have sex? At a stranger’s house?”

Matt shook his head.

“Exactly,” I whined.

“If you wanna leave, I can drive you home or something-“ Matt offered.

I shook my head. “It’s fine. They’ll be done soon. Hopefully.”

“Okay,” he laughed.

I sighed again, letting my gaze linger on him for a few seconds. I studied the way the fabric of his shirt hung from his shoulders, which were slightly slanted and very broad. The fabric caught on his collarbone and clung to the muscles in his chest, which weren’t huge, but still prominent. The rest of his body seemed to drown in the shirt; he looked skinny but his chest and arms were fairly toned.

Matt’s eyes caught mine and I actually blushed. He simply smiled like a dork. He really was quite cute…

That’s when I got my brilliant idea.

“Wanna make out?” I asked, taking a step towards him.

Matt’s eyes widened and he snorted. His body shifted to the side, shoulders shrugging as he stepped closer. “Sure.”

I bit my lip and carefully grabbed his hands, letting my body naturally gravitate towards his while I stared into his eyes. I could see now that he had dark green irises behind those big glasses.

Before I knew it, his lips met mine in a very gentle, ghostlike peck as he tested the waters. Matt reached up to caress my neck; his hands felt absolutely colossal in comparison to my slim frame. They were warm too.

I was shocked at how gentle he was being. We kissed so carefully, barely grazing each other’s lips and taking our time.

However, after moving my hands from his arms to his waist, I pulled him closer by the hips and stood on my tiptoes, attempting to deepen our kiss and build more passion between us. I wanted to feel his desire and see just how good he was at this.

It was then that Matt started holding his breath. As I kissed him deeper and opened my mouth slightly, I could feel his muscles tense up and he became hesitant to move. It seemed he focused most of his attention on moving his mouth in time with mine, strangled exhales escaping his lips every few seconds when we’d pull away in between kisses.

My hand slid up his torso to caress his face as I leaned back and looked into his eyes. His face was slightly pink and his lips were parted.

“You’re a pretty good kisser,” I smiled, glancing at his soft, warm lips.

Matt grinned, tooth gap on full display. “Not so bad yourself,” he said softly.

I let my hands fall to squeeze his biceps. “But you’re all tense,” I told him.

“Am I not allowed to be a little nervous?” he laughed sheepishly. “I barely know you.”

“Aw, you’re nervous,” I whispered. I kissed him again. “How sweet.”

“Yeah, kinda,” he said defensively. “You’re pretty.”

I hummed, pulling him back in to shut him up. This time I backed up so that the counter was digging into my hips and he could press his body against mine as hard as he could.

Matt grunted, before briefly pulling away. “Is it cool if I put my hand here?” he asked, placing his warm hand carefully on my waist.

I nodded, sliding my arms around his long neck to pull him back in. Once Matt had a good hold on my torso, I could feel a warm, tingly sort of sensation deep in the pit of my stomach. I could still hear thudding from above and I thought about quickly fucking this dork in the kitchen before they were finished upstairs. The thought was quickly pushed away, however.

“Mm… this feels dangerous,” he mumbled in between kisses. I could feel his lips curl into a smirk against my lips as he spoke, his warm hands massaging my waist.

“What do you mean?” I asked, panting softly.

“I might have a thing for you after this,” he exhaled. “You’re so good…”

I swear I didn’t mean to, but I let out a very soft, barely audible moan as he said this to me. The last thing I expected was for him to talk like that, but it kind of drove me crazy.

Fuck.

Matt pulled away and looked me in the eyes, seemingly flabbergasted by the sound I made. The eye contact was so intense. My heart was pounding in my chest, even faster than the thudding from upstairs.

Between the few seconds we spent staring at each other, Matt leaned closer and closer, letting his forehead rest against mine. It was oddly intimate, but I honestly loved it. Something about the fact that he was practically a complete stranger to me, yet still able to make me feel so flustered and anxious but comfortable at the same time, drew me closer to him. I felt need, like if I didn’t have him now, I’d never have him again.

I can’t believe I proved my friend right again.

But I couldn’t. I couldn’t do it. I can’t hook up with this guy here. Not right now. I felt insane for even thinking about it. I felt reckless.

My fingertip grazed over his lip, before leaning in to kiss him again, softly. I kissed him like I needed it to breathe, but not so much that I would die without it. Like I was kissing him just to kiss him. Taking time to breathe in between each kiss, letting my lips linger for a few seconds. The kind of kiss you’d share after having sex, when you’re exhausted and trying to catch your breath.

Eventually, we heard a loud, high-pitched whine echo from upstairs. We pulled away, giggling softly as the two lovebirds were seemingly finished doing their deed. Sadly, this meant my time with Matt was spent and I’d have to wait until our next meeting to do anything else.

“Hey,” he whispered, lifting my chin up so I’d look him in the eyes. “We should hang out sometime. Just you and me.”

I raised my eyebrows, laying my palms flat against his broad chest. “What would we do?” I teased, knowing damn well exactly what he had in mind.

“I dunno,” he giggled. “We’ll see how it goes.”

I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. Even if he was a sweet, dorky guy, he was still a guy. But who am I to judge? I almost tried to fuck him on his kitchen counter a few minutes prior.

“Okay,” I laughed.

Matt kissed me again, this time caressing my throat as he opened his mouth and licked my lips. I gasped and practically froze, immediately accepting the gesture by parting my lips and letting my tongue slide against his.

He tasted like tequila and the feeling of his hot, wet tongue against mine was absolutely intoxicating.

Unfortunately, after a minute or so, we heard footsteps coming down the stairs, and Matt let go of me. His warmth left with him and I felt cold as his body moved away. Aside from that, my face was on fire as my heart was racing and my lips still tasted like him.

Trey came downstairs alone, face probably just as flushed as mine and Matt’s. He let out a breathy “Hey,” before reaching inside the fridge to grab a cold beer. Matt and I responded in sync and I only felt my face grow warmer.

“Oh shit, Ravens are kicking ass. Sweet,” Trey said as he left the kitchen. I looked at Matt, who was biting his lip to stifle a laugh.

Eventually, my friend came back downstairs and we all gathered in the living room once again. Her and Trey were glued to each other of course, but instead of Matt and I sitting on opposite ends of the couch, I managed to squeeze in between him and the armrest.

Inevitably, my friend gave me that look, and I gave her the look. No words were said and none were needed. I couldn’t help but smile slightly, crossing my arms as I let my body ever so slightly lean towards Matt’s.

“When does hockey season start?” I whispered to him.

“It’s still going, I think,” he said quietly, looking down at me.

“Good,” I hummed, looking back towards the TV. Matt scoffed and I could feel him staring at me for a few seconds.

As the night went on and more drinks went around, my friend decided to sleep over with Trey, so Matt drove me home. Which was perfectly fine, because he ended up spending the night with me too. Though, to be honest, we spent very little time sleeping.

[starstruckmoony]

call it what you want.

masterlist

pairing - remus lupin x fem!reader

summary - final part of my shitty little social media fic!

trope/tags - band/celeb!au, instagram/social media!au, modern!au, fluff, terrible humour

word count - 798

warnings - language

part 1 / part 2 / part 3

yourusername added to their story

yourusername

❤ liked by ev.rosier, vance_emm, pandorasbox and 2,956,211 others

yourusername lover <3

tagged rjlupin

67,008 comments

rjlupin i didn't even realise you took that

yourusername you were too busy staring at my face

rjlupin because it's pretty

bartyyy you look like a minecraft youtuber

rjlupin is this a hate comment? geniuenly can't tell

mmmckinnon pookie

yourusername meow meow

rjlupin why?

user766900 LOVERRRRRR

user141410 he's so cute pls

user657755 AHDUQUXUQHS

user276432 CUTIE

user400987 I AM JEALOUS

yourusername

❤ liked by mmmckinnon, lily_evans, casmeadowes and 2,499,216 others

yourusername just dropped moonlight, go stream it

tagged maraudersofficial, mmmckinnon

56,452 comments

rjlupin album of the year.

yourusername is it cause you're on it?

rjlupin no, it's cause it's yours

yourusername </3

rjlupin my girlfriend is very talented everyone!!!!!!

yourusername PR PR PR

rjlupin someone better start paying us

yourusername waiting for my check fr

rjlupin i love you

yourusername are you obsessed with me?

rjlupin definitely

yourusername lol i love you too

pete__ exactly stream it #selfpromotion

yourusername everyone's favourite drummer

prongsyboy stan peter stan talent

mmmckinnon you sound like a kpop stan (don't come for me i like kpop)

marymacdonald IT'S SO GOOD Y/N I LOVE IT

yourusername i love you more

pandorasbox on repeat already

yourusername 🤍🤍

casmeadowes TRACK 5 IS MY FAVOURITE

mmmckinnon I KNEW IT

starmanblack I JUST LOST 10 QUID

user556727 SCREAMING CRYING

user444488 THE BONUS TRACKS HDJQJDJQJS WTF

user033460 I WAS RIGHT IT WAS A COLLAB

user911444 i didn't clown oh my fucking GOD

user838383 marlene x marauders x y/n!?!?? am i dreaming!?!?!??!?

user227676 dead i'm DEAD

rjlupin added to their story

rjlupin

❤ liked by xeno_lovegood, pete__, pandorasbox and 2,299,357 others

rjlupin y/n thought this was funny

tagged yourusername

55,990 comments

yourusername i still think it's funny

rjlupin i think i'm funnier

yourusername lol

rjlupin you loled so that means i'm funny

lily_evans prongsyboy pissed himself laughing at this

prongsyboy WHY DID YOU TAG ME I'M GONNA PISS MYSELF AGAIN

marymacdonald what in the teenage boy humour 💀

vance_emm MY KIND OF HUMOUR

mmmckinnon the absolute irony above me

user724422 HAVE Y'ALL SEEN REMUS STORT WITH Y/N'S CATS DJQHDHAHSHQ

user866551 i giggled a bit ngl

user688289 you two istg 😭

user017777 i was gonna laugh but then i saw the prices and cried

yourusername added to their story

yourusername

❤ liked by rjlupin, mmmckinnon, prongsyboy and 2,882,633 others

yourusername art gallery dates>>

tagged rjlupin

61,939 comments

rjlupin and microwave dinners after>>

yourusername microwave dino nuggets just hit different

rjlupin mOIST

yourusername LEAVE RN.

starmanblack the art is arting

mmmckinnon you use tiktok too much

ev.rosier this made me have standards again

bartyyy BABE

yourusername EVAN

user163125 oh to be happy and in love

user022377 pretty

user299666 best celeb couple fr

user001111 not evan bullying barty in the comments 💀

celeb_gossip

❤ liked by yourusername, rjlupin and 69,076 others

celeb_gossip our favourite rockstars, yourusername and rjlupin, spotted together once again, and for the first time after making their year long relationship public. what do you think of this couple? 👀 we're obsessed. 😌 leave your thoughts in the comments 😘

6,322 comments

rjlupin we're famous my love

yourusername this such a dream come true

user009292 their comments-

user222778 HELP ME

user355627 "we're obsessed" we can see 😃

user664521 HELP I LOVE THESE TWO

user790003 THEY COMMENTED I'M DISSOLVING

user489992 boy let them live 😭

user366210 they're having so much fun with this

starmanblack

❤ liked by xeno_lovegood, ev.rosier, marymacdonald and 2,779,661 others

starmanblack WE GOT SIRIUS' PHONE HFFJSXJQJ

57,990 comments

starmanblack I HATE BOTH OF YOU

mmmckinnon LMAOOO I'M SO HAPPY IT WASN'T MINE THIS TIME

casmeadowes LMFAO

bartyyy the quality is taking me out

pandorasbox AHHH CUTIES

prongsyboy did you take this photo with a calculator?

user110200 HELP

user929390 I WAS SO CONFUSED

user120001 tbh never been more obsessed with a celeb couple

user273700 NOW WHAT IS THIS

user929929 sirius don't delete this we trust you

yourusername

❤ liked by mmmckinnon, pete__, casmeadowes and 3,009,882 others

yourusername bass lessons <3

tagged rjlupin

69,678 comments

rjlupin i should start charging you

yourusername the best you're getting is a kiss

rjlupin sign me up

vance_emm lovely pose tbh

xeno_lovegood for free?

rjlupin yes but she's special

starmanblack is there a strange innuendo here or is it just me?

mmmckinnon definitely just you

starmanblack did not ask

lily_evans ngl now i'm thinking about signing up for some

prongsyboy i can teach you

lily_evans ...

pete__ the silence is loud mate

user701006 I WANT FREE BASS LESSONS

user446224 never break up with him

user278755 i want this i need this

user333833 MAKE ANOTHER SONG TOGETHER PLSSSS

user188256 i am so lonely

user002010 me and you both

user188256 wanna be the y/n to my remus?

user002010 yes, so when's the wedding?

tagging some moots! <3

@diorgirl444 @goodoldfashionedluvergirl @nyxxxxxxxx @mrs-lupin-blog @masivechaos @friendly-neighborhood-boricua @incorrectwolfstar @hpotterwhore @littlemissscarlettwitch @withastrangerheart

*some of you may have noticed i changed the fancast from matt hitt to bobby keating since i found out that matt isn't comfy with being fancasted buuuut we move on and pretend that it was all bobby from the beginning.

[ashes-writing-corner]

Hey guys! I've been sick lately so I'm back with a short part for Ghosts that We Knew. Reader gets sick and attempts to make tea. Ghost encourages reader to do it right lol

No warnings, tried to make this one a little funnier, more light hearted.

Taglist: @stargatenovus

Ghosts that We Knew 7- tea...you're doing it wrong...

You loved your little girl. You lived for her, quite literally. She was your world, your reason to keep going. And when the poor girl was sick, you made it your whole life to make sure she got better. 

Even at the cost of your own health. 

Kids were kids, and someone was always gonna wind up going to school sick, spreading it to everyone. But sickness travels, and just as Ellie was getting much better after a bad cold, you were knocked on your ass. Coughing, sore throat, the whole thing, you got it. Thankfully it wasn't as life threatening as it was after you had your transplant. You were paranoid about illness and the like for a year after the surgery. Thankfully you had a strong immune system and took precautions as much as you could. Nowadays you were a lot less paranoid, with the possibility of organ rejection (mostly) eliminated. 

Regardless, you felt like crap now. You had the whole package, and now couldn't safely work on orders, which royally sucked. Ghost was thankful those days were behind him, the one benefit to being dead. The one thing he didn't miss. 

He watched as you entered the kitchen, blanket wrapped around your shoulders and in your most comfortable pajamas. He observed only a moment as you struggled to open a nearby cabinet to grab a mug and he knew exactly what you were about to do. 

And you were about to do it wrong. 

Again. 

You grabbed out a box of fruity tea bags, clearing your throat a bit to try and ease the scratchy feeling in it. You grabbed out a peach bag and set it in the mug. Absent-minded, you filled the cup with water most of the way and, to Ghost's dismay, put it in the microwave. 

Again. 

No, no, no! He was NOT going to stand for this! He understood you were sick but there was no need to ruin tea like that. The microwave stopped suddenly and you looked around. 

"Ghost…I swear to God if that's you" you tried to reset the microwave but a cold blast grabbed your hand, "Dude! Seriously?! Of all things, you're gonna have a stick up your ectoplasmic ass about this?!". 

No response. Then you remembered that he had used a lot of energy to interact with you a short time ago. You sighed and rolled your eyes. 

"Hold on, let me go grab my phone…" you peeled off into the bedroom to go get it so you two could properly communicate. 

Ghost waited for you, keeping close to the accursed microwave. You were making your tea wrong and he needed to make you see the error of your ways. Sick or not, there was no excuse in his eyes. 

"Alright…what's got you in a tizzy now?". 

Tea. Wrong. 

"What?"

Make. 

"Seriously? There's no right or wrong way to make tea! Dude cmon my throat is killing me and the heat would help". 

Kettle. 

"Ghost…I'm not playing this game. Stop disabling my microwave and just let me do this-"

The lights began to flicker, electronics going a bit haywire. Frustrated, you pinched the bridge of your nose. 

"Alright! I'll do it in the damn kettle…fucking Brits I swear…"

Soap. 

Well that was random. It took you by surprise as you turned to your phone. 

"Soap? Dude, it's clean, I promise. Or are you saying I need soap? Eh…not gonna lie a shower might actually do me some good. I'll think about that". 

He still wondered about his old teammates. Did they still think of him? He hadn't seen Johnny in years, about three…maybe four at this point. He wondered how the sergeant had changed. Was he still the fun loving, carefree friend that he somewhat envied? Did he still have a heart for others? Ghost always thought that was a rare thing. He shook his head, no point in dwelling on the past or what could be. You and Ellie were his priority now. And it wasn't like anyone had made him one before everything went to hell…

"I am not about to put milk in this. It comes out clumpy if I do" your voice pulled him back like an alarm. 

Cream.

"I can't add anything but sugar to this. It'll get clumpy and gross. Don't want that" you argued, "if it was a different tea then yeah definitely". 

Kind?

"What kind am I making? Peach. Peach and raspberry are my favorites" you told him. 

Lavender. 

"Lavender tea? Are you kidding? That stuff tastes like soap…" you stuck your tongue out in disgust. 

Smell.

"Eh…I guess the smell is okay. I like the smell of actual Lavender rather than the artificial crap they put out". 

He couldn't argue that. In life he thought the smell of lavender was too strong. It was even worse now as a ghost, with his advanced smell and all. 

You had gotten out a new cup and tea bag and waited with the blanket still wrapped around yourself as the kettle finally went off. You rolled your eyes. 

"Another reason I hate doing that" you moved it to the other side of the stove, "hate loud high pitched noises". 

Nonetheless, you put some sugar in the cup. Ghost counted at least five, a bit much in his opinion, but he wasn't about to judge. He had made your life difficult enough already. 

"Did it your way. Are you happy now?" You asked with a hint of sarcasm. 

Yes. 

"Good, cause I'm never doing that again". 

We'll see…

This totally means he intends to "train" you on making your tea right. This was based on a conversation I had with my sister the other day and she thought it was hysterical. Anyway, being sick sucks and I hope yall are okay.

If you like my stuff please consider following, liking, commenting, and most importantly reblogging. Thanks friends and followers ^.^

-Ash

[writersstareoutwindows]

top ten favorite Oxventure episodes because I feel like it let’s go. og Oxventure only otherwise you know Lampblack Wedding would be top of my list, followed by whoever’s first to make a Victoria McClary supercut.

Heist Society: Fancy party is my be-all end-all favorite ttrpg trope. I have watched this one so many times I have portions of it memorized. It’s the first episode I ever showed to my partner. I enacted Bear Down Protocol in my own campaign.

Bride or Die: (gestures to all of my oxventure tag) Do I need to explain.

Watch Out!: Very long and very silly. Love to watch Luke go, and the others playing along. Love that Luke based it on a museum he knows and loves. Love just the entire concept of Hengist. and. Merilwen’s Microwave :)

Dine Hard: World’s wildest plan goes off without a hitch when that plan didn’t even have a defined goal. Luke and Jane roleplaying at the absolute top of their game. and. Liliana hot. I know she doesn’t melt a man til start of next episode but extra points for that anyway.

Squid Pro Quo: I Was There, Gandalf. The spiraling insanity of Dob’s social engineering feels like he’s the one succumbing to eldritch madness and absolutely nothing could be funnier. Peak shenanigans that not even the players are in control of.

Wedded Redemption: Who would’ve thought Aubrey the tabaxi would be so endearing! Hilarious to learn that Harry McEntire ended up there because the only request he’d ever made of his agent was to do a D&D show! Despite what Andy says I think the title pun is great! And guess what! This one’s also a fancy party!

Court in the Act: I will never be over the fact that Corazon egoed his way into being arrested. It was only supposed to be Dob, it was very explicitly supposed to be Dob, but Corazon made a bit of drawing attention away from Dob and Johnny immediately adapted the setting to accommodate. The bit about replacing their nooses with pasta makes me crave udon to an unreasonable degree.

A Fête Worse Than Death: Body!!! Swap!!! Johnny summed up the feeling with, “That’s right folks, we’re doing it!” Also, Corazon holding the Seal Gaiman plushie to ransom, and then just holding it, 10/10.

Exhibition Impossible: Can you believe it, another fancy party! Corazon does cool pirate shit and looks cool doing it. Dob briefly attempts PvP before straight up walking away from a man begging for his life. Egbert brains an old man with almost no prompting. Seal Gaiman is born.

Tower Rangers: Liliana :) The different levels of the tower, the different kinds of Clonebert, and the plan to create infighting are all interesting and entertaining. I love the inventive circumnavigation of all Johnny’s expectations and I love that they do it all just to avoid Liliana as much as possible, because she’s that fucking scary. Cloud of Daggers :)

[sleepdeprivedsimp234]

Do you perhaps have any headcanons about New Mexico? I don’t see that much about him and he’s my home state so I’m desperate for any content lol (also sorry if it’s late for you cause it’s currently late for me but I don’t have a sleep schedule so-) but if you don’t, anything about Loui or Cal would be also be cool :]

Sorry m8 I don’t really have anything for New Mexico :( I do have some stuff for Cali and Loui tho :D

California:

He either was or is an e-boy. He has the f*ckin’ e-boy haircut too. :3

He’s a nerd and he loves books. Bro probably has an entire stash of books under his bed.

Cali pretends to hate Florida and Loui (mostly Flo though), but if anything bad happened to them he would never forgive himself.

This man can’t cook for sh*t. He’s okay at those microwaveable ramen bowls, but otherwise, he can’t cook and should not be allowed within 15ft of the kitchen’s entrance.

He has an orange tabby named Cassy and she is a dumb spoiled little bitch. She’s cute tho <3

LOUIIIII-[gets gunned down by marine corps] Louisiana:

Literally everybody loves Loui and tries to protect him, and what makes it funnier and cuter is that he’s completely unaware of the fact that he has an entire Loui Protection Squad™️.

Clumsy silly lil guy that always has bandages on his knees, face, and/or arms.

Florida makes it a point to tell Loui if he’s going somewhere cuz he knows that if he doesn’t tell him, he’ll panic. But nobody’s gonna know that Loui is panicking unless they look and see how shaky and fidgety he’s being. And if they bring it up, Loui will 100% deny the fact that he’s panicking. Even with tears in his eyes.

Loui doesn’t ever wish to hurt anyone, but at the same time if you hurt his loved ones, he will murder you and laugh like a psycho as he does it.

^Executing someone that hurts his loved ones? Yes. 100%. Getting revenge on the people that hurt hi- NOPE. He will NOT.

He’s gets anxious really easily, but mainly if there’s loud noise. So sometimes during meetings, if he’s not joining Florida in terrorizing Gov, he’s trying not to have an anxiety attack. I hc that Texas sits next to Loui (I think this is actually canon-), and Georgia sits across, so often they’ll be the ones trying to calm him down (Georgia holding his hands under the table and Texas hugging him a bit with his hand on Loui’s knee 😭).

[absolute-artlad]

I need you to know that i saw spider fool a week ago and immediately became obsessed and now im picturing the lil guy interacting with one of my ocs as they both piss of miguel together

Hes...not a spidersona...but he could probably believably pretend to be one and insert himself into the spiderverse and i think that would be funnier (for me) than if i just made my own spidersona adfhbdkgjs

Anyway i think the two would get along because theyre both just silly guys yk. My guy would look at Spider Fool and immediately wish he had thought of becoming a jester as a career option

Sorry for the rant, i just thought you should know that spider fool has my whole entire heart and i am rotating him in my head like a microwave

Aww thx for telling me :) I love oc interactions they’re so fun and cool

[gaydiekane]

jjk characters as off-putting shit i do/have done

—

yuji: will be actively dying and be like “nah wym its fine im fine youre so dramatic i can handle it” and then proceed to pass out

megumi: is paranoid to an extreme. doesnt realize until nobara asks him why he smelled the brand new carton of milk to see if it was good. didnt hit him till yuji said he didnt copy an online assignment before he submitted and couldnt fathom doing that himself. tsumiki and gojo could go on and on about his paranoid habits

nobara: has a scary good memory to a point where people are freaked out by seemingly stalker-ish behavior but shes not being creepy she just happens to remember your address and best route to get there from any location after she visited once briefly a few years ago

maki: keeps her eyes open at the wash bowl station when getting her hair done

yuta: go to girl dinner is microwaved pizza pepperoni (not to be mistaken with charcuterie pepperoni oh no) and gluten free crackers

toge: thinks emojis are so much funnier than they actually are. hit him w the 😕 or 🫨 or 😧‼️ and he loses it. definitely overuses them in text

panda: uses all the yellow color emojis instead of selecting a skin tone

miwa: has seen every single episode of miraculous, genuinely loves it, knows all the kwamis names, etc

momo: was deeply in the 2020 pandemic era riordanverse instagram fanpage scene

mai: loves to cook/bake and is good at it but almost everything has to be burnt to some degree, just as a personal preference

shoko: will say the most down bad horrendous jaw dropping absolutely egregious shit just to be like “idk i just dont think that kinda stuff is for me 🤷🧍”

satoru: absolutely CANNOT form thoughts into words. if stumbling through sentences were an olympic sport hed take gold flawlessly every time. defines words using the word in the definition. no one knows what the hell he’s going on about ever

utahime: believes that the pyramids of giza are just the tops of massive obelisks and is genuinely terrified of these giant obelisks and what they may contain

—

a/n: before anyone says shit about the yuji one (if anyone even does,,, tumblr is so much more chill than other platforms LOL) i have asthma/possibly pots and participated in many competitive music groups in high school that kicked my ass (wgi im looking at u) and so as a result of doing something so physically draining in my condition i had a few near death experiences, similar to the example i used for yuji 👍👍 also im pretty sure the gojo one is actually canon LOL but i do that too so 👍 and if you’re reading this ily and i hope u have a wonderful day 🫶🫶

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 315: I Didn’t Expect This to Blow Up

Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi was all “guess which plot that you thought was dead is actually not dead and is making a comeback!” and we were all “EVIL HPSC??” and he was all “girl you know it,” and that’s the story of how we got a sexy Lady Nagant flashback with lots of guns and murder. Flashback!Lady was all “gotta murder peeps to preserve the people’s trust,” but then a little while later she was like “actually wait that makes no sense,” and so she shot her evil boss and they sent her to jail. Back in the present, Deku was all “okay fair, the hero system might in fact be a little fucked up, but hear me out... have you considered not helping AFO take over the world so he can murder like a bazillion more innocent people??” The chapter ended with the not-all-there Overhaul finally revealing himself to Deku, and I honestly have no idea where this is gonna go.

Today on BnHA: In what is unfortunately the single worst plan ever concocted by anyone in BnHA, Nagant is all “I’m going to try and get this Deku kid to panic and freeze up by putting someone in mortal danger.” Deku is all, “[doesn’t panic and freeze up at the sight of someone in mortal danger].” Nagant is all “omg no way.” Deku, who is now all of a sudden being so OP that even I have to acknowledge that it’s OP lol, is all “[smashes Nagant’s gun arm to bits]”, which sucks but is also really cool, and which also apparently makes Nagant decide that she actually likes this kid after all. Deku is all “NAGANT I REALLY LIKE YOU AND THINK YOU’RE GREAT SO PLEASE JOIN UP WITH ME AND STOP BEING EVIL.” Nagant is all “aw shucks (✿ •͈ᴗ•͈) well okay then” and everyone is all “( ･◡･) ✰ ( ˆᴗˆ ) ( ᵘ ᵕ ᵘ ⁎)” and then Nagant FUCKING EXPLODES LIKE AN EGG IN THE MICROWAVE AND FALLS TO HER DEATH!!!! except not really because Hawks saves her??? In conclusion, (a) THE FUCK, and (b) AFO TURN ON YOUR LOCATION I JUST WANT TO TALK.

so I have to tell you guys something, which is that barely ten minutes after I made that “please don’t send me spoilers” post the other day, someone replied to the comments in a stunning fit of “tell me that you’re twelve without actually telling me you’re twelve” energy and posted what seemed to be the copy-pasted spoiler summary from reddit or twitter or whatever lol. so here is my good news/bad news rundown of all that

good news: I have very well-conditioned ABORT!! reflexes and have trained myself to immediately look away from the screen (usually in dramatic fashion) as soon as I realize that whatever I’m reading is a spoiler

bad news: unfortunately as I was subsequently deleting said comments, I accidentally read the very last one

good news??: said spoiler was so unbelievably, absurdly over-the-top that I’m almost positive this person was just trolling. like, there’s just no way lmao

bad news: but in the unlikely event that it is true I will absolutely lose my shit I swear to god

(ETA: “NAGANT DIES.” that was the spoiler I read lol. like, literally all I read from the person’s comments was “My Hero Academia Chapter 315 Title: “Beautiful Words.” Chapter starts with...” and then I noped out of there, and then of all the comments to read as I was deleting, it had to be that one lol. I seriously was just like “SURE, JAN.” all “just how gullible do you think I am” sob. but I was wrong. a troll, but an honest troll they remain.

but anyways like I’m pretty sure Nagant isn’t even actually dead lol, so in the end this whole little adventure doesn’t even have a point to it, but for me it was a journey!)

anyway, so there are apparently two versions of the chapter today?? no idea what the difference is, but I’m going to go with the Bean version, because it’s the one at the top and I don’t feel like making decisions today

huh, so Overhaul is actually more coherent than Horikoshi was letting on

look at him having a whole back and forth conversation with her. side note, how is he still this jacked when he’s been sitting in a cell doing absolutely nothing for the past six months

anyway so he says he’ll go with her on one condition. I wonder what that condition could possibly be. do you think it could be the thing he literally hasn’t shut up about ever since he reappeared lol

yep! and damn -- maybe this guy will surprise me after all

still would be nice if you also felt a bit sorry for the little girl you tortured and traumatized, but this is something at least. maybe Deku will yell at him for that other stuff lol

(ETA: also can’t help but wonder if he wants to make amends because he put him in a coma, or because his plan was a failure and ended up destroying the family. just hoping you’ve finally had that “hurting other people is bad” epiphany dude.)

anyways so now Nagant’s arm is transforming again, and this particular transformation happens to be the only truly unsexy thing that Nagant has done thus far so I’m just gonna skip right on ahead lol

aaaaand we’re back to the delirious ranting

buddy. just. read the fucking room, guy

wow she really is aiming at Overhaul, then. those theories were spot-on

damn she’s really out here all “it really fucks with kids’ heads when you kill people right in front of them and make them blame themselves” like yo

I’m picturing her saying all this in a very loud stage-whispery tone while making very significant eye contact with Deku lol

uh oh but wait

um. okay. who’s gonna tell her. Nagant I might have some bad news for you about the kid you’re trying to capture here. specifically about the way he tends to do the opposite of what you’re thinking that he’s about to do

holy shit

so it’s basically just “tap x repeatedly to charge up your attack” lol

and okay, so that’s cool and all, but is anyone else wincing at the thought of what that must be like on his knees. oh to be young

anyway, but so to the surprise of basically no one, Deku did not, in fact, freeze. I am very sorry, Nagant. he’s just like this

LMAO

someone wanna tell me how getting yoloed in the fucking ribs by this fucking slingshot kid moving at literal sniper bullet speed is in any way even remotely better than getting hit by the bullet itself lol

(ETA: this is 10x funnier now that we know the bullet wasn’t even gonna hit him lmao.)

anyway so now Nagant is having an extended “!?!?!?” reaction about how Deku just moved with no hesitation, and I’m starting to get an inkling of fear that the rest of this fight isn’t going to go very well for her and maybe that’s what all the “hoo boy” is about

oh my god Deku are you about to Gomu Gomu no Rocket yourself at her you insane little man

now Three is popping up again and he’s all “I see you’ve learned your lesson and are now only using three quirks at once instead of five” like with all this effusive praise about how great and badass Deku is and sob, okay, yeah. this chapter is basically one of those machines that shoots tennis balls at people, except instead of tennis balls it shoots hot piping discourse

OH MY GOD

YOOOOOOOOOO but also, NOOOOOOOOOOO

lol oh my god it’s literally two opposing reactions at once wtf. do I love this or hate this. like just for once can Horikoshi actually let a badass lady character win their fucking fight without getting their arm ripped off, BUT ALSO fucking look at that absurdly cool “SMASH” onomatopoeia though. it looks like it’s about to float right off the page holy shit that’s some seriously good art

anyway so is this really the end?? do I need to break out my ಠ_ಠ faces

lmao okay yeah I can definitely see how this would piss a lot of people off

he basically one-shotted her and she’s all “damn this kid is so amazing that I’m about to do a complete 180 turn on all of my previous angst” lmao. Horikoshi is really shounening it up today

on the plus side though, maybe this means there’s still a chance for her to join up with him after all? unless that spoiler was true lmao, then all hell is gonna break loose

YESSSSSSS

OH MY GOD AND HE SAYS THE BULLET WOULDN’T HAVE DONE MORE THAN GRAZE OVERHAUL ANYWAY, wow, I’m actually more relieved by that than I would have expected. I mean I would have forgiven her either way, but it means that there was still more hero in her than she was letting on

YES!!! FUCKING YES, THANK YOU

lol but I mean, it’s also like, “oh so today they get to have brain cells”, thank you so much lol. sometimes it’s really hard to tell which times we’re supposed to question these character decisions that seem dumb, and which times we’re just supposed to full on embrace them and switch off our critical thinking

but okay, so in this case it really was Nagant going easy on him on purpose, and not just her fucking up for no good reason even though she used to do this for a living and was the best in the game. and I know in this case it’s probably just Horikoshi giving us some consolation headpats to soften the blow of her losing so abruptly, but you know what, shit. I’ll take it

also you guys the light is coming back into Deku’s eyes again for just a moment here and I’m having feels about it?? the way it still comes back when he’s reaching out to save someone, and following his own hero path instead of the much darker and lonelier Christopher Nolan path that’s been laid out for him instead that he never wanted?? it’s both reassuring and also very sad

YESSSSSSSSSSS

DO IT LADY OMG PLEASE?? PLEASE COME BE HIS NEW IRRESPONSIBLE ADULT SUPERVISION YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO

AHHHHHHH SHE’S GONNA DO IT AHHHH

p.s. I am now absolutely scared shitless that that spoiler was actually true sob. swear to god, I will throw this manga into a fucking volcano. but we’re almost at the end of the chapter and this seems just WAY TOO GOOD to be true fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck f

UCK

NOPE NAH SEND IT BACK, NOPE, NUH UH, DIDN’T ORDER THIS. “GULLIBLE” OKAY FUCK YOU?? “COUNTERMEASURES” NOPE, DON’T NEED ‘EM, WE’RE ALL FINE HERE. WE’RE ACTUALLY GOOD SO YOU CAN JUST GO, OKAY. PLEASE

fuck, lol, I don’t wanna do it. I don’t wanna scroll down what have I ever done to deserve this oh my god

WHAT THE HONEY-ROASTED FUCK

WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT FUCKING VOLCANO IN ICELAND THAT I KEEP SEEING ALL THESE PICTURES OF. WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT SHIT. LET’S GO

ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW

can someone please give AFO a really good, sharpish kick in the balls. just really let him have it. I’m so tired, what the fuck

-- ARE YOU KIDDING ME LOL WHAT

bro. I was literally going through my Excel folders to find the spreadsheet about female characters in BnHA that I made back when Midnight died. was gearing myself up for a wholeass rant. and honestly I might just let all of that continue simmering on low to keep it warm just in case lol, because to tell you the truth I have absolutely no idea what’s happening right now

my girl straight up does not have a face. she used to have a face. people usually need those, idk. like, even if she’s alive, her gorgeous eyebrows are definitely not making it out of this and I’m gonna throw a funeral just for them

how the fuck did AFO just blow her up?? how did he know what was going on?? and if he had a quirk that could explode people at will, why is this the first we’re hearing of it?? you’d think that might have come in handy at Kamino or Jakku, like what

(ETA: present!me, who’s had more than three hours of sleep and can now actually remember facts about the series, would like to remind past!me that AFO gave Nagant a quirk, and so this is probably just more Vestige shenanigans now on his part. that’s also probably why Air Walk suddenly stopped working out of nowhere. still doesn’t explain why he doesn’t go around blowing people up more often though but maybe he thinks it’s gauche.)

Hawks just straight up out of nowhere. just Mirioed his way straight into the chapter just in time to be too late sob. here I was looking forward to seeing your face when Deku showed up with his new best friend. can’t believe Horikoshi deprived us of that moment

on the plus side, WELCOME BACK, HAWKS’S FEATHERS. I have no doubt that in this chapter of Deku being an almighty threequirk-mastering god, and Nagant losing anticlimactically only to be immediately blown up because girl characters in BnHA can only be cool for one fight and one fight only, there are still some people who are focusing solely on the “how dare Hawks get his wings back when he is a MURDERER this is an outrage what about CONSEQUENCES” discourse, and to hell with all the other discourses lmao

anyway, so yeah. wow. and now it’s just occurring to me that maybe the real reason why Overhaul is there is so he can get a head start on that amend-making by actually doing a good thing for once in his life, and using his quirk to heal Nagant. assuming he can still do that

and so now Horikoshi has got me out here actually rooting for Overhaul. you know what, on that note I think I’m just gonna go ahead and call it a day sob

[fukurodaze]

october

pairing: third year!tsukishima kei x third year!fem!reader genre: fluff, suggestive word count: 2.7k warnings: cursing, mentions of hickeys, makeout session hehe synopsis: “tsukishima” and “high school sweetheart” are a unique combination of words

LISTEN TO: lowkey - niki; used to you - mxmtoon

lowercase intended!

nobody knows about this.

nobody knows about his offhand banter and longing gazes. if you and kei go back exactly five months from today, you’d be asking him a question about the research assignment as you were about to leave the library and he surprisingly follows his answer up with “i’m going home too. come with?”

nobody knows him on facetime, staying late until his eyes can barely open after a blink. you’re used to his texts, somehow so much funnier and warmer than everyone seems to know him. and maybe one day he’d kissed you; on the right temple, as you fell asleep on your bed; on the back of your shoulder, when he did it subconsciously during a movie. and maybe you kissed him too; a short peck on the lips when he went home through your front door; another on his calloused and bandaged hands after a block had left it bruised. 

nobody knows that now, you’re straddling the boy you’ve known for a while as you suck his tongue until he gets breathless. his hands roam up and down your body, finding themselves under your shirt and holding onto the bare skin of your waist like he can never let go. when he tugs on the hem of your shirt, bunching it up your torso, you let him take it off, the moment away from his lips making you realise his lips are swollen and his glasses have been thrown somewhere on your bed. you freeze for a bit when he spends a little too long staring at your body, and you freeze even more when you realise you’re not wearing the bra you would’ve liked for this occasion, but you’re cut off when he starts nipping on your neck, leaving open-mouthed kisses as he mumbles, “you don’t have to suck in your stomach.”

you relax a little, small whimpers coming out of your mouth as he continues to work on your neck, the little shocks of pleasure filling your senses as hands on bare skin start to feel more familiar than foreign. you could get used to this. 

“wait, don’t leave any, uh, marks or hickeys or whatever,” you breathe, “people might see.”

he hums, and yet his grip on you tightens as you think he’s coming back to your lips, but he doesn’t. he just stops there, face inches away as his lips barely ghost yours. he purses his lips for a second, like he’s thinking of something to say, but the microwave makes its strange appearance when it beeps loud enough to make you jump a little in his lap. he still holds you close. 

so, so close. and nobody else knows.

“i’ll get the popcorn.” right, because tonight you had planned to watch a movie with him. like the usual - talk, cuddle, whatever. 

come to think of it, your relationship with kei sounds weird; feelings so well understood without ever being spoken. you liked it at first, when he told you he liked you on a saturday morning, your reciprocated feelings tasting of warm rice and milky eggs and an unspoken convention that this stayed between you two and you two only. but as the days passed, and the thrill of a secret relationship wore off, you’ve started to wonder how it would feel like to be able to show people that, yes, tsukishima kei is your boyfriend, and yes, you like him very much.

when you take your shirt, he says, “wear my hoodie. it’s cold.”

you grin when you hear that, opting to simply wear his hoodie without a shirt underneath. it’s the same black hoodie he wears literally all the time and probably doesn’t wash regularly (which is gross) but if there’s one thing you learned about these feelings is that you couldn’t care less.

when you pick up the popcorn, kei only lays against the headboard of your bed, feeling slightly empty at the words he’d heard from you. serves him right, he thinks as he picks his glasses back up; this relationship, or whatever it is, isn’t something both of you wanted everyone to know. he’d get sick of all the attention, and there was probably no need for the two of you to share everything. it’s high school anyways, who knows how long it’s going to last.

yet, when you come back into his room, lips soft and hair tousled, holding a bowl of fragrant popcorn, kei finds himself letting go of those thoughts.

you take a seat on the floor against your bed frame, already having set up the laptop in the middle of the floor. you motion to the boy on the bed to come down, and he brings your entire duvet with him.

as he settles next to you, your shoulder touching his upper arm, you set the popcorn in the space where your knee meets his thigh, over the blanket. the movie you two had decided on earlier tonight starts playing, and you feel your head slide into the crook of kei’s neck, like it always does. 

the night starts off slow; just the two of you making remarks at the movie, laughing at plot holes and cliches. then, by halfway, the bowl of popcorn is empty; as the protagonist kisses their love interest, you feel a flush up your cheeks; and as the movie ends, kei’s arm is around your waist, pulling you into his side. it’s a pretty shitty movie.

“well, that was a shitty movie.” 

“agreed,” you grunt as you stand up to place the bowl of popcorn on your desk, to be taken out at a later time. you fold your laptop onto your desk as well, and kei gets the cue to sprawl your duvet back onto your bed. it’s only nine pm. you climb back in your bed, motioning for him to come with you, too.

slowly, his tall figure holds yours in an embrace filled with something you could only identify as care and affection. and here, especially with his glasses off, sight blurry and only really being able to see you in full focus, it makes you grin at how strikingly different he can be in your room and at school. not that you had ever seen him at school very often, as most of your relationship was crafted of video calls and secret little dates in the night. 

you wonder if he’ll grow out of this.

“oh my god, something kind of funny happened today after the english exam,” you chuckle, your head resting comfortably on kei’s chest. he lets out a questioning hum.

“the girls in my class thought i was seeing osawa,” you stifle a laugh, “at me they were like, you’re definitely dating a guy from the basketball club.”

“wait, how’d they know you were dating someone?”

“word got out. they asked for details, and i told them he was in a sports club.”

“they didn’t think about the volleyball club?”

you shake your head, “they did, but they literally went - ‘we know it can’t be kageyama or tsukishima, so, yamaguchi?’” kei snickers at those words, remembering that even the boys in the volleyball club don’t know about you.

“i love how they just glossed over the chances of you with either me or kageyama,” kei tsks, “and who’s osawa?”

you roll your eyes, hearing his voice tinted with a bit of jealousy when he hears other people think you’d go better with this random guy at school. “he’s a guy i partnered up with for biology. why?”

“nothing. just good to know.”

“alright, whatever.” you flip over, your chin now pressing on the backs of your hands on his chest. your grin is wide. 

“your hoodie smells like sweat,” kei says, trying to divert the topic away from your eventual accusations of jealousy.

“it’s your hoodie, asshole!” you jokingly exclaim, and he pulls the hood up to your head. you look cute, he thinks, even with his over-worn hoodie and messy hair. it’s in moments like these, when the both of you let go of the fronts you put up at school, and just live like nobody else exists. of course, it will all be over in a few hours, but that’s not to say he doesn’t secretly text you under the desk during class or that you don’t have the liberty of an extra pack of chips in your locker from the early mornings kei has practice.

“okay, but, hoodie aside, you could’ve just said i was your boyfriend.”

you like the sound of it; something so distant yet so close. so you make him repeat it again, “wait, what did you say?”

kei exhales through his mouth, “you could’ve just said i was your boyfriend.”

“would you like a boyfriend badge with that?” you tease.

“shut up. at least it sounds better than you and osawa,” he mumbles, sitting up, leaning on his arms. “not that anyone would ever know about us.”

your arms wrap around your boyfriend’s neck. his eyes stare straight into yours, and though he still feels uneasy at first, he likes the feeling of you so near him, so warm and fluttery in his stomach. it makes you hope, at least, in the way he’s looking at you, that he might want to show you off more than he lets on. 

“you know, kei, it wouldn’t hurt for some people to know about us,” you mutter, almost a whisper, and he catches your words perfectly.

“but i hate how everyone shits on couples all the time.”

“no, you just shit on couples all the time.”

he sighs defeatedly, “okay, but everyone’s just gonna be annoying when they know. like they’re shoving their noses into our business.”

“yeah, but-”

“on top of that, my mom would constantly nag me about the details of our relationship. i don’t need everyone knowing so much about us.”

you fall silent, running out of things to say. admittedly, the way he’s so quick to shut down all your reasons is getting to you.

“see? there’s no point in other people knowing.” kei’s hands run under your hoodie to caress your bare skin. he likes the way you shiver slightly from the sudden coolness of his fingers, but it does give you an idea.

“i’ll let you leave marks under my school blouse.”

“as hot as that is, no.”

you groan, slouching against his larger frame. you shift your weight onto him, making him fall back on the bed, and you settle with lying beside him. kei, like the reluctant cuddle bug you’ve found him out to be, immediately wraps an arm around your torso, like every second spent at your house that doesn’t involve his limbs intertwined with yours is a second wasted. 

you exhale through your mouth, “kei, i just wanted to be proud.”

his grip tightens.

“like, we don’t have to tell everyone what happens between us every single day, but, god damn, i don’t want to keep sneaking you in like this, or having to send you off at like, four in the morning so nobody knows you were here.”

“do you care more about what other people think than how i feel?” now you’re letting it out. you realise you’re frustrated - so fucking frustrated - that you barely even get to see him every week because of school and clubs, and that you don’t even get to save his contact on your phone under his own name in fear that people might find out. all because nobody knows.

“no, i care about-”

“i want to hold your hand in public, kei. is that too much to ask?”

you take a deep breath, sitting up against the headboard, “my friends think i bail on them all the time. i want to tell them it’s because i’m going to see my boyfriend instead of some lame excuse, kei. and i want to cheer you on at the spring high nationals in january, because you talk to me about volleyball so much and i want to see my boyfriend do what he’s been working so hard for.”

there’s a hanging silence in the air, coupled with the whirring of your heater. you can’t make eye contact with him - what if he gets mad? your fingers fiddle with the string of his hoodie, knotting it and untying the knot. and it’s only then that he sees you, gaze unsure and lips pursed, that he knows what to do.

it’s not so bad, kei thinks. he wouldn’t have to save your number under a name that’s not exactly yours, and he wouldn’t have to always rush to leave because he has “something coming up”. he can walk you to class in the mornings when you arrive after his morning practices, and it’s like he can imagine the way he’ll hold your hand and make sure everyone knows you’re with him. his train of thought might have gone a bit too far, but he can’t deny the thought of wanting to show you off as his. hell, he’s had a crush on you since your second year (though he’ll never tell you or anyone), and now that he’s got the girl, he might as well be proud of it, too.

so he comes up and kisses you. chastely. “okay.”

you give him a flick to his shoulder, earning an ‘ow’ from him. “that’s it? okay?”

“you said i could leave marks as long as it’s gonna be covered by your blouse, right?”

another finger flick, to his forehead this time, “you asshole.” but you smile. you know him.

when you pull his lips to yours, this time, he makes sure to keep you busy with his hands around your body and your hands in his hair, shirts and hoodies being pulled up to eventually be taken off. suddenly, he stops, and it’s only then that you hear something that you’ve only barely heard once before, on a warm saturday morning when it was summer, months away from today’s october.

“i really, really like you, y/n. and i’m not afraid of that.”

as he cradles you in his touch, kisses trailing down your jaw and beginning at your collarbone, you make sure to ask if he’s okay with reusing the same uniform he wore today for tomorrow. his answer slips out easily; yes.

“is it always this cold in the mornings when you practice?” you tighten the scarf around your neck, shoving your hands into your coat. kei hums in response as you two near the gym.

“to be fair, you could’ve worn tights. doesn’t help when you’re basically half naked in the winter.”

“wearing a skirt does not mean i’m half-naked, kei.” you scoff, but you do take a mental note to start dressing warmer for the coming seasons. 

“i’m just saying, the wind can just go up your skirt-”

his sentence is cut short when a louder, higher-pitched voice runs through.

“woah! tsukishima’s with a girl?” you recognise it as one of the kids in class 3-2, hinata shoyo. his orange hair isn’t exactly easy to miss. behind him is the boy you recognise as kageyama tobio, remembering the way kei would sometimes slip in a snarky mention of his name on the nights he’d call you from his training camp in tokyo. you introduce yourself to the two boys.

“why is that such a surprise to you?” kei points out sharply. a number of second and first years pass by the three of you, and they exchange casual good mornings.

“i think i’ve seen you around. are you friends with kana-san?” hinata names one of the girls in your class, and you nod, telling him you’re pretty close to her. 

"are you going to be watching us practice?” hinata asks, and as you look frantically between kei and hinata, you tell him, “yeah, is that okay for you guys?” kageyama and hinata nod.

you don’t miss it when kei takes your hand and intertwines your fingers with his. it makes you feel a little warmer in chilly weather. it makes you smile.

“go ask team captain over there,” kei shrugs, cocking his head at yamaguchi, who currently has a content smile on his face.

“so this is your girlfriend!” 

you immediately snap your head at kei, as if silently telling him no fair, how come yamaguchi knew all along?! kei shrugs, “he saw me going to your locker one day.”

you roll your eyes before introducing yourself the same way you did to hinata and kageyama, and you hear kageyama huff out, “she looks too nice for you.”

kei scoffs, “well, that’s rich coming from you. maybe you’re forgetting how-”

“alright, tsukki, let’s just go up to the clubroom first.” yamaguchi thankfully cuts in, letting hinata and kageyama go to the gym first.

“oh, y/n-san, you can go to the gym first, too, since we’re going to be changing in the clubroom. we don’t want you to wait outside, after all.” yamaguchi adds, and as you let go of kei’s hand with a reassuring smile, hinata takes it upon himself to make even more conversation with you on the way to the gym. you find his and kageyama’s company entertaining.

“if he’s you’re boyfriend, does he, like, insult you all the time?” kageyama blurts out, his words making you break into smiles.

you giggle, swatting your hands, saying no, no. it makes you realise how different he really is when he isn’t with you.

your hand wanders to the uniform bow around your collar, and you play with the ends of it, the area of your body reminding you of the hickeys you saw littered around your chest and collarbone this morning. when you told kei about it, he only shrugged with the most smug face you’ve ever seen. thank god for collared uniforms.

“so, y/n-san, how’s tsukishima as a boyfriend?” hinata chimes in.

you catch your lip in between your teeth, sucking in a soft inhale. you wonder if you could tell them that he’s the guy that buys you your favourite snacks on the way back from volleyball practice, or that he puts all your favourite songs into his daily playlist so that he can sing along with you when he comes over. still, even after the news about your relationship, you think there’s no harm in keeping some things private. so you exhale.

“he’s an asshole,” you laugh, gleeful, “such an asshole.”

[glowyjellyfish]

October Halloween Movie Fest Day 27:

Tonight I watched Idle Hands! I’ve seen it before, and liked it, and then promptly forgot about it right up until @devantheimpaler recommended it, and I’m glad they did! I remembered it being fun and dumb, and it was, but it was like intentionally dumb in a way that made it more fun. The characters were more dumb than the movie, if that makes sense. All of this in a good way. It has good effects and a fun spooky vibe, and some AMAZING Evil Hand acting which I am a bit of a sucker for, and Seth Green is always great. My only complaint is the paper-thin personality of the Sexy Love Interest, and I’m sure she gave the target demographic exactly what they were looking for, and she improved a bit by the end. Good choice, will definitely watch it again sometime.

Treehouse of Horror 27 (Dry Hard/BFF R. I. P./Moefinger)

I think these segments were pretty good generally, but I am really noticing how short each segment is and how overstuffed the episodes have become. I get that this was the 600th and they wanted to go crazy, but they had a respectable opening with past villains, then a second opening that was a overly long couch gag masquerading as a segment of its own, and then three whole segments after that, each of which felt like they ended too soon. It was too much to cram in, really. Anyway, Dry Hard was a great mixed parody of The Hunger Games and Mad Max Fury Road with cool designs and lots of fun character deaths—and the “part one” “part two” etc title cards got funnier the deeper they went. Not terribly spooky other than the death, and as I said above it did feel slightly rushed, but i think this one did a little better on that front than the others. BFF R. I. P. was a very good little Lisa story—I will have to update my stats someday—and brought the most Spookiness IMO. Also, if I had a nickel for every time I saw a living thing be put in a microwave and zapped to death tonight, I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird it happened twice. Moefinger had the most abrupt ending I think, but did have a spectacular fight sequence like it’s inspiration, antagonist Homer was a lot of fun, and I think it was a more interesting and creative use of Moe than some of his other THOH outings. Pretty good overall, I just wish each segment was a little bit longer. Oh, and TheRealJims’ video about THOH deaths mentioned that he’s convinced the writers were very deliberately killing off a huge number of characters in this episode, perhaps for the 600th occasion, and I can’t unsee that. There were a lot of deaths! My list is now 1, 5, 4, 7, 6, 3, 2, 20, 9, 8, 17, 27, 23, 16, 15, 25, 26, 19, 13, 24, 21, 12, 14, 10, 18, 22, 11.

[bbychilly]

Co parenting Ben where you and Ben are talking about how amazing Chloe is and Ben says you should have another together. And you laugh thinking he’s joking but he’s dead serious because he’s still in love with you

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 co-parents blurbs masterlist

“God, she’s so beautiful,” Ben said exhaling as Chloe once again disappeared into the walk-in closet in your house, changing the dress you bought last week. She really wanted to show them to her daddy, so she decided to make a small fashion show. “And so kind. How lucky I am to have such a ray of sunshine in my life.”

You smiled. You and Ben were sitting on the couch waiting for the girl. “And she has a very infectious laugh, just like yours,” you said, and both of you heard the sonorous “mummy, daddy, look!” She spun in front of you in a light denim sundress and, having received a thousand compliments from her dad, happily ran to try on another outfit.

“And she’s very caring,” Ben said with a smile. “I remember when I got a slight injury, she was around me all week, giving me water or warming up food in the microwave so that I wouldn’t get up again. Even though I was okay,” he chuckled, “she didn’t believe me.”

“Aw,” you smiled too, “we’re so lucky, aren’t we?”

Ben nodded, looking at you thoughtfully. “To be honest, I’d really like Chloe to have a younger brother or sister.”

“What?” you were surprised by such a sudden statement. “You’ve had way funnier jokes, you know,” exhaling, you laughed, realising that he was only joking?

“What are you laughing at?” Ben didn’t even smile, continuing to stare at you. His hand slid to yours, squeezing it tightly. “What makes you think that I was joking?”

“Um, I don’t know,” you paused, “it’s just a little strange. We are...”

“Incompatible, I know,” he interrupted you, taking his hand away. This was exactly the phrase after which a few years ago the door slammed in the face of the guy and you never crossed paths again for a year. With this phrase, you built a wall between both of you, and Ben with all his soul hated the way he behaved then and the day he lost the opportunity to call you his. The crisis in the family, after the birth of the child, affected you both too. Ben acted like an idiot, having lost all the happiness that was in his hands. He still reproached himself for all the terrible words he said to you. Running a hand over his cheek, he remembered the flowers bouquet that you threw at his face after he was trying to apologise, and the sound of the door slamming in front of his face rang in his ears again. “I love her so much, still. Damn. If I could return everything, I would never... I would show her my love every day...” this thought was on Ben’s mind.

“Ben,” you wanted to say something, but at the last moment, you forgot all the words, blushing like a tomato when your ex looked at you.

“Huh?”

“No no, nothing,” you crossed your arms over your chest, replaying in your head the day you broke up. The first year after Chloe was born, he behaved very irresponsibly and didn’t help you with a baby at all, but on the contrary, only found fault with everything, so you constantly quarrelled. You left, cutting off all ties and only a year later, Ben changed and wanted to see your daughter as often as possible.

Your awkward silence was again interrupted by Chloe, as she was showing her dad jeans, a sweatshirt and trainers, which she put on herself. “You’re so so beautiful, my little princess,” Ben said with a sigh and got up from the couch to take his daughter in his arms, kissing her cheeks. “I love you.”

tags: @brewsterbabyy @donkeykai @alexajanecollins @cam-blog98 @benchillys @footballerimaginess

[wordsandshawn]

Midnight Visitor

Based off a request I’ve had sitting in my inbox for like forever. I’m not going to put the request here becuase it gives away the entire imagine, but if it’s yours, you’ll know. 

Summary: Y/n notices someone trying to get into the apartment while Shawn is in the shower, and she freaks out. 

~ 

Shawn is finally back home, after being away on tour for far too long in your opinion. You’re spending the night at his condo, having a lazy, relaxing night in. It’s past midnight, Shawn’s in the shower, and you’re just picking up around the apartment while you wait for the popcorn to pop. Between the sounds of the popping popcorn, you hear pounding on the door. You know you’re not expecting anyone, and the pounding is so intense and loud. It doesn’t sound like any average visitor, and you don’t think Shawn was expecting anyone. You hear the doorknob twisting, like they’re trying to get in, but thankfully it’s locked. The person on the other side of the door doesn’t seem to care that it’s locked because they keep trying to get in. As you continue to hear pounding, you feel more and more afraid. You can’t help but worry that they’re going to just barge in. 

Mustering all of your courage, you call out, “Who is it?” Thinking that maybe if it’s a robber or intruder, knowing someone is there on the other side might make them decide against breaking in. 

“Let me in!” Comes a deep voice from the other side of the door, which only scares you more. There's more pounding, and you quickly retreat to Shawn’s room. Barging into the bathroom. Shawn has finished showering, and he’s standing in front of you in his underwear.

“There’s someone at the door!” You shout frantically, freaking out. 

Shawn’s eyebrows knit together as he pulls his pants on. “What?” 

“Shawn! There’s someone pounding on the door, trying to break in or something!” You say, full of fear. 

“I’ll go check.” He says, heading out of the bathroom, but you tug on his arm, stopping him briefly. 

“Don’t open the door, okay?” You question, your heart palpitating in your chest.

“I’ll check.” He reassures you. “Wait here?” He squeezes your hand reassuringly as the pounding continues. 

You nod, and stand in the bathroom as he leaves, shutting the bathroom door behind him. 

Not even a minute later, you hear Shawn call out, “Y/n!” So you crack open the bathroom door, looking only through the small gap you just created.

“It’s just Brian.” He says with a smile, causing you to feel a tiny bit of relief as you exit the bathroom. “He’s drunk.” Shawn explains, as you enter the living room. Shawn clearly thinks this entire situation is a lot funnier than you do. Even though your brain now understands that it was a false alarm, your heart is still beating unusually fast, and you can’t quite calm down as much as you’d like.

“Y/n!” Brian slurs, waving at you. Your feet are still firmly planted just inside the living room when Shawn’s eyes meet yours. 

“Are you okay?” He questions, the smile falling from his face.  

You nod, feeling a bit dazed and out of it, the fear you now know was unnecessary still lingers within you. 

“Yo, do you have anything to drink?” Brian calls out as he starts waking toward the kitchen. 

“No!” Shawn calls out, even though all three of you know that he does. “Go lie down on the couch.” His words are directed at Brian but his eyes never leave you. Brian is still making his way toward the kitchen, but Shawn walks towards you. 

He wraps his arms around you, asking again, “Are you okay?” 

You nod, “Yeah, go take care of Brian, I’m going to shower.” 

Shawn hesitates, but finally releases you from your arms, and you disappear into his bedroom while he deals with drunk Brian. You’re not even sure how Brian got here or why he decided to come, but the one thing you know is you’re glad you’re not the one having to deal with him, and you’re glad it was just Brian at the door. 

When you finally get out of the shower, you feel a little better, but you can’t shake that feeling of not knowing who was on the other side of the door and wondering if they wanted to hurt you. 

When you exit the bathroom, you find Shawn waiting for you. He’s sitting on the edge of the bed, and he looks up when the bathroom door opens. He stands up when he sees you, and less than a second later, you’ve closed the space between the two of you. His arms wrap around you, and he holds you close. “What’s wrong, honey?” He questions, brushing some of your damp hair from your face. 

“I was just so scared,” You finally whisper. 

“It was just Brian.” He says softly, trying to help. 

“I know that now, but I didn’t know that then.” You admit, feeling silly all of a sudden for the way you freaked out. 

“I know,” Shawn says, still holding you close. “But you’re safe now.” He doesn’t make fun of you or tell you you’re overreacting. Instead, he just holds you close and reassures you. 

Standing there, in Shawn’s arms, you slowly begin to feel normal and calm again. Finally, you say, “Shawn?” 

“Hmm?” He questions, still completely in tune with you.

“I think the popcorn is still in the microwave.” 

Shawn laughs out loud and releases you from his arms. He takes your hand and says, “Let’s go eat popcorn.” 

[pinnithin-writes]

Good Jokes

Chapter 1

The new posters on the board in the break room had Tommy in stitches.

Who put this up here? They were huge sheets of paper, large enough to cover the rest of the flyers that were tacked on first. The printer’s settings were fucked, apparently, and it had rolled out three crisp eleven by seventeens of incomprehensible inky bullshit.

Tommy stood in front of the bulletin laughing for thirty straight seconds when he first walked in for his break. The fact that someone had printed out this garbage and still put in the effort to post them here was cracking him up. His coworkers, humorless as ever, were giving him strange looks for the fit of giggles he was in, so he popped the tab on a can of Sprite from the vending machine to try and calm down.

Distantly, he heard an unfamiliar, animated voice echo further down the hall. Right, the new guy was here today. The guy who was going to put on the fancy orange suit and risk his life for science. Tommy was supposed to be working on that project, too, making observations from behind a sheet of safety glass.

He wandered down the hall toward the voice, figuring he might as well be polite and introduce himself. Not a lot of folks around here liked to talk much, and he could hear the discouraged faltering in the man’s words as he tried and failed to make conversation. Maybe it would be nice to have a talker around. Keep things interesting.

When he rounded the corner, Tommy had to pause and regain his bearings. So the new guy was cute. He had dark curly hair, a beard that was neat-but-not-too-neat, and a charming smile that showed off his dimples. His face was framed by a tasteful pair of glasses and he walked like he had places to go, people to see. Friendly, but studious. Tommy wanted to derail him from his quest immediately.

“Hello,” he cast a greeting down the hall.

The new guy paused mid-stride, somewhat startled. “Hello.” What was his name again? Freeman? He was an MIT boy, if Tommy recalled correctly, a physicist who had published a thesis that was so long Tommy had stopped paying attention halfway through the title. A man of many words. A man of too many words, perhaps.

Oh, shit, he was walking over here.

“I’m new,” Tommy blurted, even though he wasn’t. Good job, idiot.

“You’re new here? Me, too, I think,” the new guy replied, brow wrinkled studiously as he approached.

I think? Maybe they were both idiots. Tommy gave the man a quick up-and-down look. He was a big guy, but well built. Athletic. Hard to believe he transferred from the education sector.

“What’s your name?” Tommy asked.

“Gordon Freeman.”

Right, that was it. Tommy remembered looking at his file now. “My name’s Tommy,” he told him, his grip tight on his Sprite can.

Gordon Freeman raised his eyebrows, like he was surprised someone had bothered to talk to him. “Tommy?” he repeated.

“Yeah.”

“Okay, Tommy,” he went on. “Are you - what department are you in? Where are you supposed to be right now? You headed to the break room?”

Wow, this guy asked a lot of questions. He looked adorably lost. Tommy could point him in the right direction, but his mention of the break room reminded him of the nonsense on the wall in there, and he fought down a snort of laughter. Maybe the new guy would appreciate the signs.

“Yeah,” he affirmed. “I like to read the billboards there.”

‘Billboards’ wasn’t right. It was a bulletin board; Tommy caught it as soon as the words were out of his mouth. But it made Gordon laugh in a puzzled sort of way, and it was such a lovely sound that Tommy left it.

“The - the billboards? In the break room?” he asked in bewilderment. “Are they - putting ads up in there?”

Tommy was fighting back another snicker. “Yeah,” he said, turning away to hide the grin on his face. “Follow me.”

He led the new guy down the hall and to the break room, passing the greasy microwave and the gaggle of disinterested coworkers. Man, those posters were even funnier the second time. Tommy wanted to find the person who had tacked them up and shake their hand.

“Oh, is this what you were talking about?” Gordon asked, realization dawning as he saw the bulletin. He cast Tommy a prompting look. “The billboards ?” He asked, politely giving him a chance to correct himself.

That was considerate of him, Tommy thought, but he stuck to his guns - he was already too far in the bit. “Yeah, tell me what it says,” he threw back.

He was going to pop a blood vessel trying not to laugh, and Gordon could clearly tell by now. Letting out a breathy chuckle, he glanced up at the bulletin and played along.

“Yeah, I can’t read it either, dude,” Gordon said, dark eyes passing over the nonsense in front of him. “Maybe he can?” He tossed the question to one of the scientists loitering nearby, who muttered something rude under his breath. Gordon turned an unflappable smile back to Tommy, ignoring his coworker. “Yeah, maybe.”

Oh, Tommy liked this one. He wanted to keep him for himself. Nobody around here appreciated his jokes, much less ran with them.

“I don’t know what it - can you read?” Gordon went on.

It took Tommy a half second to parse if he was serious or not, and realized the question was a continuation of the joke. He mimed a studious pose, taking a thoughtful sip from his Sprite as he pretended to decipher the clouds of ink.

“I’m trying, but it’s very - I -” He was breaking - he couldn’t help it - snorting out a laugh.  “The person who printed all these papers really fucked up.”

Gordon was grinning fully now, shading his eyes from a nonexistent sun as he glanced back at the notice board. “I think they used like, one DPI? Y’know - you know how a printer works? Like, dots per inch? I don’t think they got any - like - the right amount of dots - I can’t read any of this.” He gave another prompting glance to Tommy, clearly enjoying their little vignette. “What do you make of that?”

This man spoke like a machine gun, and it delighted Tommy. The words just came firing out of him with barely any comprehensive thread between them, a steady stream of consciousness straight from his brain to his mouth. It was wonderful. He shook his head in disbelief that someone so fun had just fallen into his lap.

“I don’t know,” was all he could reply.

Still chuckling, but still in a hurry, Gordon did his best to excuse himself politely. He had a test chamber to get to. “Are you staying here?” he asked.

Tommy wanted to follow him, but he had no real reason to outside of his attraction to the guy, so he nodded. “I’m on,” he faltered, glancing down at the Sprite in his hand, “lunch break.”

Gordon’s laughter staccatoed his farewell. “Okay, we’ll see - I’ll s- I’ll catch you later, Tommy.”

Tommy was grinning like a fool as he watched him leave the break room. Charming guy. Hilarious. Sharp as a tack, if a little scattered. His laugh sounded like bells ringing and he loved it.

“I drink soda for lunch,” he called down the hall after him, one last attempt to pull that laugh from him before he saw him again.

Gordon must not have heard him, because he didn’t reply. That was fine. They’d cross paths again. Tommy would be watching him very closely as they ran the test today.

---

The test chamber in the Anomalous Materials department wasn’t Tommy’s favorite place in the world. He thought the spectrometer was grandiose in a spooky sort of way, its rotating claw hanging menacingly from the ceiling. He was glad Gordon Freeman was the one going in the barrel instead of him.

Everyone who worked down here had a grim purpose about them, and it weirded Tommy out. There were many times during his research that he tried to lighten the mood, but most of his jokes sailed over his coworkers’ heads. Or they were rudely ignoring him. At this point, either option was plausible.

He stood behind the reinforced safety glass alongside the other members of the research team. All of them were older than he was, the majority born in the facility, which Tommy concluded was the only quality they really had in common. He was well qualified for the job with his range of experience and his Ph.D. in nuclear engineering, but whispers of nepotism still sometimes circulated.

Tommy ignored them for the most part. Everyone who worked for Black Mesa was stuck living in an underground bunker regardless of pay grade, so it wasn’t like he was any better off than his peers in that regard. He didn’t make anyone call him Dr. Coolatta, either, because that just sounded fucking stupid. Dr. Thomas Coolatta? Please. Tommy was fine.

He was zoning out, lost in his thoughts, when he noticed a blip in on the ground floor of the test chamber. The blip took the form of a short man in a blue uniform, and suddenly Tommy was very uneasy. He knew that guy.

Seconds later, the doors to the chamber whirred open, and Gordon Freeman strolled in. Tommy watched him gesticulate angrily at the security guard who had spontaneously manifested inside the spectrometer. He put two and two together and figured Benrey had been following Gordon for some time, riling the other man up as he was so wont to do to people. This could be bad. He reached over on the control panel and hit the broadcast button on the mic, ignoring the murmurs of indignation from his colleagues.

“Hello?”

Both of the men in the barrel whipped their heads up to the control room. Tommy raised a hand in a grim wave.

Benrey cupped his hands around his mouth and hollered back at him, voice grating in his ears, shivering down his spine. “Tommy!”

He had to handle this carefully. The entity in the chamber with Gordon was an anomaly that Tommy should have considered, but he hadn’t predicted Benrey would have latched himself onto the new guy so quickly. He darted a glance to his coworkers, who were all staring at Tommy expectantly, and then down to the scene below. There were things Tommy knew that the others weren’t allowed to know.

His hand was still on the intercom. “Gordon,” he began carefully.

“Tommy,” Benrey cut him off, a threat in his voice. The two of them stared one another down through the pane of glass, unspoken words passing between them. Finally, he sighed heavily. “Hi,” he muttered.

“Tommy, do you know this man?” the scientist beside him asked.

He was an older gentleman, the product of an experiment that probably had a name at one point, but had gone by ‘Bubby’ for as long as Tommy could remember. Tommy would have thought the nickname was a joke if Bubby had a single humorous bone in his body, which he didn’t. Well, unless he counted his humerus. Which he also didn’t.

Tommy killed the mic and fixed Bubby with a careful look. “He’s not a man,” he said without elaboration. He didn’t have to. Bubby could connect the dots well enough on his own.

On Tommy’s left, another colleague jockeyed beside him to hit the intercom button. He was a cheerful fellow, empty-eyed and cotton-headed. Tommy recalled that his name was Coomer. He also recalled that brawl in the dining facility a while back where he had knocked a fully grown man out with one punch.

“You know, he didn’t bring his passport,” Dr. Coomer informed the team brightly over the loudspeaker, even though they were all standing in the same room with him.

Tommy rolled his eyes. “I heard you don’t have your passport,” he said dryly down to Gordon.

But the new guy was occupied with the entity standing next to him, gesturing in agitation as he spoke with him, pointing to the chamber door. Probably was trying to get Benrey out of there. Worried about his safety. It would be a reasonable request made by any decent human, one that should have been backed up by the rest of the staff.

Several pairs of eyes were watching Tommy, knowing his security clearance, waiting for his decision. Benrey would be fine; he couldn’t be killed by any normal means. Tommy’s concern was for Gordon, bright orange and oblivious in his HEV suit below. If something went wrong, he would be paying for it.

He looked at Bubby again. “Standard procedure,” he told him.

If Benrey was up to no good, which he almost always was, Tommy could stop him. He could blink down there in an instant and kick him into another dimension for a while. Not fun, not easy, but he could do it. He moved closer to the glass, deciding to watch and wait.

The two figures dicked around in the test chamber for an insufferable amount of time, a fact that Tommy would find incredibly funny if it weren’t Benrey in there with Gordon. His colleagues were backing up Tommy’s decision, assuring Dr. Freeman that this was all normal and part of the process, while Gordon grew increasingly agitated. Poor guy. He had no idea what was going on.

Tommy decided to throw him a bone, leaning into the mic again. “Gordon?” he prompted. “Do you see the next step?”

The grinding of machinery in the room drowned out most of his response, but Tommy caught what he needed to. Push the shit into the thing. So easy an MIT grad could do it.

“Yes,” he affirmed.

“Very carefully,” Bubby said seriously over Tommy’s shoulder, miffed that he had been nudged away from the mic.

“Very carefully,” Tommy agreed. “Slower than molasses drips off a spoon,” he added, simply because he couldn’t help himself, ignoring the puzzled looks the other scientists passed in his direction.

He couldn’t really hear Gordon’s laughter, but he saw the man’s shoulders shake with mirth and his even teeth flashing that pretty smile. Tommy grinned. Worth it.

That was the only bright spot Tommy got to have before everything went to shit. Benrey was hassling Gordon mercilessly, Bubby was grinding insults into the mic, and Dr. Freeman was losing his mind. Tommy was standing there, taut like a mousetrap. Laser focused on Benrey. He was not paying attention to Gordon, or the glass shattering in front of him, or the error alarm blaring over the loudspeakers.

He did, however, catch the flashbang of light from the spectrometer. The ghost-white form of Bubby vaulting over the console and through the broken window. He tore his eyes away from his target for a second, and then there was electricity raising his hair and voltage shivering through the building and an acid-green shockwave flashing over all of them.

Shit. Fuck. Shit. Benrey was nowhere to be seen. Tommy gripped the edge of the window, ignoring the slice of broken glass into his palms. Bubby looked… utterly dead, in a crumpled heap below him. Shock was forcing a waterfall of panicked words out of Gordon as he watched everything crash down around his head.

The machine groaned and surged outward. Tommy had seconds to choose: find where the fuck the entity went and snap him out of existence, or shield the new guy before he turned into a smoking crater on the ground.

Tommy made a decision. The world ripped apart.

---> Chapter 2

[littencloud9]

otp questions challenge (trustedpartnershipping)

i posted this on my ao3 acc before i created this one but ig there's no harm putting it here LOL

basically, i went and combined a few of those question challenges thingys and answered them bc i was bored and... yeah.

| which one cried during a disney movie? both!! ash weeps tho while gladion covers his face bc no i am not crying there’s just dust i swear | who put a fork in the microwave? ASH 100% | who does the silly hands-over-eyes ‘guess who!’ thing? ash!! gladion rolls his eyes but he secretly loves it | who puts their cold hands/feet on their partner? gladion LMAO ash is a human heater | who had that embarrassing Reality TV phase? both of them would totally binge it together | who laughs more during sex? im leaning towards ash? gladion is just embarrassed half the time so that’s probably what makes it funnier | which one hogs the blanket? ash. definitely ash | which one cuts the other’s hair? gladion cuts ash’s! one, ash has floofy hair that cannot be maintained. two, god forbid anyone gets near gladion’s hair | which one makes coffee for the other every morning? ash bc gladion thrives off caffeine without a doubt | which one picks up the pizza? mm this could go either way! | which one likes their music on full volume? i don’t think either of them does it? but if i had to pick then probably ash lol | which one complains about the crumbs on the bed? gladion for SURE | which one sings and which one plays the music? i think they’re more of a karaoke couple tbh HAHA | which one proposes? omg okay i’ve always imagined that gladion would try to propose but he gets so flustered and hesitant and ash KNOWS but he lets glads try. then one day ash just plucks the ring from gladion’s hand and proposes instead and gladion’s just like (*////▽////*) but he can’t be mad so they get married and it’s very gay yeah | who loves to be held by the other? gladion won’t admit it but he CRAVES physical contact. ash gives it to him happily LOL | how do they flirt with one another? ash would just compliment gladion continuously bc he’s a ray of sunshine and a pure adorable boy and he loves expressing his admiration. gladion flirts with more of actions? like taking ash on long walks or getting him food,, just spoiling ash in general > < | if they each had to describe their relationship in one word, what would it be? both of them looking at each other while simultaneously screaming: GAY!!! | who asks the other how to spell a word? ash LMAO gladion was raised in a fancy ass mansion and his mum is LUSAMINE he would def be the smarter of the two. also ash can be plain dumb sometimes (cough, not recognising team rocket EVERY SINGLE TIME cough) | who loves to have the other rest their head on their chest? ash bc when gladion gets soft and cuddly ash just MELTS | how do they react when they’re told they have a grandchild? ash: omg yay! let’s get them a pokémon right after they’re born!! gladion: excuse me w h a t | if they had to choose between going to a party and staying in, which would they choose? probably staying in but i think there would be times where ash drags gladion’s butt out and tells him to socialise for once in your life damn it glads | who makes funny faces to make the other laugh? ash! he loves cheering gladion up :) | who shows the other new music? ash cause that boy has no filter with the things he likes and will show them to the whole world LMAO | who puts their hand on their partner’s knee when driving? mm i would go with gladion! | who is the early bird/night owl? oh dear ash is always up at the CRACK OF DAWN he’ll be awake and running with his pokémon and training while gladion sleeps in with rowlet LMAO (rare occasions when ash sleeps in for like holidays or school oop). i can imagine that gladion, umbreon and lycanroc (both evolved at night, remember!) probably stay up and chill | who’s the big spoon/little spoon? gladion: i’m the knife ash: he’s the little spoon <3