#i think it's about halfway done but it's slow going because i'm trying to be Historically Accurate In A Patrick-O'Brian-Honoring Way

[quatregats]

I wanna know about the curious letter! (Also more about get sick idiots. Always more astolat retrovirus)

The Curious Letter is my Aubreyad/Hornblower crossover in which Stephen Maturin does top surgery on Hornblower! I've posted snippets of it here before, but I will post another snippet (it's taking ages because I'm being a perfectionist about it but I think it's also one of the fics I'm most pleased with):

“Very good—you must do as you see fit,” Hornblower replied, looking slightly pale. “Only as long as you think it can be done.” “It can be done,” Stephen agreed, standing up. “It is still largely an experimental procedure—I make no guarantees of anything. But the principle of the thing has overall been successful, which is enough of an assurance for most.” “How many times have you done it?” Hornblower asked, pulling on his threadbare jacket and crossing his arms over his chest in a hunched posture Stephen knew well. “Oh, perhaps nine or ten—I have not kept close records, and besides, a great number of them were some years ago. Joseph’s was the most recent.” “And all of them have succeeded?” “Some more than others. But I have not mangled anyone beyond recognition, nor lost a patient to the gangrene, which is the most that can be said. I have done no long-term studies of the effects, but the Dear knows that I have kept well enough. And so, if you say, has Joseph.” “Indeed.” “So will you go through with it, then?” Hornblower made a hmmphing sound. “Yes, it’ll do.” “Good. Then I will come to your lodgings tomorrow morning. Make sure you wrap up all your business today—you will not be leaving your room for the next week. Good day to you, Mr. Hornblower.” And with that, for all that Hornblower seemed that he had an objection to raise, he allowed himself to be escorted out the door without further comment.

And here is the opening to Get Sick Idiots <3 (aka This Is How Horatio And Maria Can Still Win):

“I’m to go to London right away,” Horatio said, setting the letter down on the dining table along with the letter opener which he had forgotten to put down in his haste to read it; the moment he had seen the Admiralty’s seal he had entirely forgotten about breakfast, and the steaming cup of tea and plate of fresh eggs and sausage were sitting sadly abandoned in front of him. “They have found me a ship.” “Surely they will give you a week or two of leniency, my love?” Maria said from across the table, her hands busy darning one of his old stockings. “They are saying London will be in quarantine in a day or two—Lizzie told me just as much yesterday while we were waiting in line at the butcher’s.” Horatio folded the letter carefully on the table, then shook his head. “No. The Navy does not wait on our pleasures, and if I do not go they will certainly give the ship to another captain. You know how hard it is to get a ship; I cannot pass up the opportunity.” “Can you not write them?” “I must go present myself to the Lord of the Admiralty himself—something about the nature of the appointment.” He unfolded the letter again, seemingly unaware, and refolded it without looking at it. “So I must go to London, and it cannot wait.”

[annievrse]

the special t-shirt

roronoa zoro x reader —ᡣ𐭩 blurb a/n: just a little stupid thing i wrote to get away from the angst of labyrinth

“Dude, c’mon.”

You blink, your chopsticks full of rice pausing halfway to your mouth. The crew continues chattering around you. “What?”

“What?” Zoro gives you a deadpan look, food pushed into the side of his cheek. "This is serious."

Robin watches you two across the table, a smirk playing on her lips. She watches Zoro furrow his eyebrows at you as you ignore him.

"I said I was sorry," You say. "What else do you want me to say, bro?"

"Bro?" Zoro scoffs, turning his body toward you. He props his elbow on the table and leans to the side to glance at your face. "Call me that again... see what happens."

You shake your head, your laugh is humourless. "You're unbelievable."

Zoro makes a sound of indignation. "Me? You called me bro. I'm not your bro."

"Yeah, and you called me dude! What's the difference?"

You barely notice the chatter slowing down and coming to an abrupt halt as you and Zoro glare at each other.

"Hey," Franky says, nervous laughter following. "What's up?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing."

The crew eyes you wearily, Nami jabbing her thumb over her shoulder. Luffy tilts his head in confusion, and the rest get up quickly, their plates forgotten.

"Oh!" Luffy giggles. "Trouble in paradise, huh?"

"You idiot!" Nami whispers harshly, pulling him to stand by the collar of his shirt. "Hurry up."

You watch her drag Luffy out of the galley, Chopper and Brook sulking as they follow everyone else out. Sanji hovers in the doorway, eyes on Zoro.

"Don't fuck this up, mosshead."

Zoro scrunches his face, opening his mouth to retort, but Sanji's gone before he can. "Dick."

You sigh deeply, rubbing your forehead with your palm. "Zo'."

"Hate that guy—"

"Can you please tell me what's wrong?'

Zoro's eyebrows raise, and he shrugs one shoulder. "Yeah."

You wait for him to speak, but when he says nothing, you poke him.

Zoro swats your hand away, face set in a deep scowl. "You used my favourite shirt to wipe the ink off your hand."

You blink, sighing as the guilt rises again. "I know, I'm sorry. The ink pot spilled, and it was so close to the logbook; your shirt was the first thing I saw, and I panicked. I—I'll buy you a new one—"

"No," he mumbles, eye cast down to his lap.

You purse your lips, your throat thick with emotion. "Sorry..."

"Besides, you have no money."

You gape at him. "Do, too! Who do you think buys all your alcohol?"

Zoro's eyes soften, and he tilts his head like he's trying to get a better look at you. But before he can get too sappy, he rolls his eyes.

"Anyway, the point is that you can't buy me a new one."

"Why not?" You reach over to pick a piece of fluff off his shoulder. He lets you, his gaze on you. "It's a plain white shirt. They have those everywhere."

"Because you can't," Zoro shrugs, his fingers fidgeting in his lap.

Chewing your bottom lip, you know there's more to this than he's letting on.

"Zoro," You say, resting your palm on his cheek. "What's this about?"

"I—uh, the shirt... it was. No," he shakes his head. "It's nothing."

You've rarely seen him this nervous, especially around you, in all the years you've been together. It scares you.

"Please," You whisper, sliding down the bench. "If it's bothering you this much, it's more than nothing."

Zoro huffs and looks to the ceiling before closing his eye. His hand circles around your waist, pulling you near. Your shoulder is under his armpit when he's done getting comfortable—as comfortable as you can get on a wooden bench.

"It's my favourite shirt."

You nod, urging him to go on. "Mmhm."

"And it happens to be the same shirt I was wearing when... when we... you know."

A smile spreads across your cheeks. "Say it."

Zoro scoffs lightly, a blush dusting his cheeks. "When we first met."

You make a sound of pure happiness. "You little sap!"

"Shut up," he mumbles, though his words have no bite. A sheepish grin pulls at the corners of his mouth.

But your joy is short-lived when you realise the problem. "And I ruined it."

Zoro shakes his head. "Don't be stupid... it's not like it still fits me. You know, since I've gotten bigger muscles and chest and all that..."

"Yeah, your tits are huge."

"They're pecs."

You laugh, kissing his cheek. "I'm sorry."

"You already said that," Zoro mutters, face warming when your lips meet his skin.

"I can wash it," You say. "I'm sure I can find some super, powerful soap that'll wash the ink right out."

Zoro shrugs. "If you want."

You tilt your head as you consider him. What he really means is, yes, please.

"Wanna come with me? You can sit pretty on the sink while I wash it."

He scoffs, rolling his eyes.

You stand from the bench with an eyebrow raised. "What?"

"I don't sit pretty. That's your job."

You ignore the comment and step out, holding your hand out. "C'mon."

But before Zoro can clasp his fingers around yours, the galley door swings open, the crew comically crowding the doorway.

"We good?" Franky asks, voice tight. Chopper, Brook, and Usopp hold their breath, and Nami and Robin smile. Sanji rolls his eyes and Luffy bursts through everyone to get back to the food.

Zoro's soft expression morphs into a scowl at the sight of them. "Yeah, not that it's any of your business..."

"Good! I'm starving," Luffy exclaims, plopping himself down at the table and scoffing down food from the remaining plates.

"Hey! That's mine!" Usopp yells, rushing over to Luffy before pulling him into a loose headlock.

You wrap your hand around Zoro's bicep and tug him toward the laundry room below deck.

After scrubbing at the t-shirt for an hour, the water murky and the soap almost empty, Zoro holds the too-small shirt against his torso. He gives you a gleaming smile, one reserved for you, and despite the sparse grey splotches visible, he's more than content with the effort. Zoro leans down to press his lips to your forehead, mumbling about his gratitude.

Safe to say, the following morning, Zoro stretches the shirt onto his body, the seams cracking and the hems cutting off the circulation in his arms. The crew laughs at him, but he smiles proudly when he sees your giggles.

You didn't ruin his shirt but added a new memory that he will treasure until the end of time.

[hwaslayer]

wildfire (cs) | thirteen.

—spotify playlist | series masterlist

—summary: assistant professor in bioengineering, incredibly attractive, lonely and divorced; that’s how most people describe san. but despite the events that have happened in his life, san has a lot going for himself. he’s a successful, sought out professor due to his brilliant contributions to science at just an early age of 32. he worked hard to get where he was now; head deep into his research, his publications, building his lab and creating a name for himself. everything was good and smooth sailing— until it wasn’t. because when he meets you, a bioengineering grad student interested in rotating in his lab, he finds himself ready to risk all the blood, sweat and tears he put in throughout the years just to keep you close— his need for you spiraling out of control like a wildfire.

—pairing: asst. professor!choi san x grad student!f. reader

—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers to lovers, grad school au | fluff, angst, smut

—word count: 7k

—chapter content/warnings: cussing, we catch a lil moment with belle 🙄, crying .. lots of crying, just lots of hurt and heartache, more misunderstandings, we see a bit of parents from both sides - esp san's dynamic with his father, flashback scene with smut: oral (f. receiving), 🤠, praises, lots of sweet kisses and tender moments, some nipple play, soft and slow smut!!

—a/n: fic announcement soon!

If the texts yesterday afternoon weren't nerve-wracking enough, it was the downtime in between the texts and seeing San that had you ready to curl up in a ball out of anxiety; fetal position, rocking back and forth as an attempt to rid the feeling. San hadn't texted much after deciding the two of you should talk the following day, and you never questioned why he couldn't just see you the same night he had told you he needed to talk. 

you: 😞 you didn't even look my way when you walked back into the office and i haven't heard from you all day.

you: i hate how all my papers and presentations are due this week. plus ppl have been weird, idk. i just wanna cuddle 😭

san: i'm sorry. it's just been a day.

you: that's never stopped you before... ☹️ what's wrong, san?

san: we should talk, baby.

you: oh.. okay. so let's talk tonight? i just need to finish up a few things, and i'm halfway done on most of my papers and presentations. i think they can wait a bit.

san: no, you should finish up. i've got a ton of things to catch up on so tonight won't work. can we do this tomorrow? i'll come pick you up once we're both done in the lab.

you: are you sure?

san: mhm. i'm sorry again, it really just has been kinda all over the place today.

you: it's fine, san. as long as you can promise me we're okay?

san: we will be. i'll talk to you tomorrow, okay? try to take breaks and rest well.

You accepted it, even if it felt excruciating and painfully long.

These things never turn out well, and you knew your case wasn't gonna be an exception. You were afraid for it, you were nervous and you were wondering what San might do to try and lessen the blow of whatever was coming.

He wouldn't hurt you, right?

He meant it when he said you two would be okay, right?

Even if he tried to be as reassuring, everything about it felt off and cryptic. None of it felt like sunshine and rainbows, none of it felt like the San you felt in love with. None of it felt like the giddy excitement, the comfort, the safety you had come to know and love. 

You hated automatically assuming the worse, but nothing was preventing you from doing so— not even San.

Today was actually pretty uneventful, nonetheless. Despite the wait and silence from San, you felt like you managed to get by in one piece. It still felt like everyone was looking at you; like they had all known your deepest, darkest secrets. Like they had been following your every move, especially while you were with San. It still felt awful, but you had learned how to push aside because people could talk and assume— but they would never know the true story.

And who knows? Even if you tried to explain yourself, they wouldn't get it.

You didn't really owe that explanation to anyone, you think.

The only other weird part about your day was when you had tried to help Belle earlier since you had some downtime and she brushed you off completely. She had been avoiding you, and it was pretty obvious she was letting the talk get to her head. She didn't maintain eye contact with you, she didn't acknowledge you, and she didn't talk to you the way that she used to.

—FLASHBACK

You walk into the lab, passing by a few of your labmates with a tiny, toothless smile etched on your lips. There was no Sunwoo around, but there was Belle; yet, she still hadn't turned to acknowledge your presence. You had gotten through your to-do list for Sunwoo's project, leaving you with extra time to spare today. You hadn't been able to dedicate a lot of your support to Belle lately due to all those technical issues you needed to troubleshoot for your project with Sunwoo, and you figured this would be a good time to make up for it.

Unless she had other plans.

"Hey Belle!" You come to her desk, pulling the courage from deep down within you to approach her first. She looks up at you, a brow cocked up before returning her attention to her laptop. "I have some time to help—"

"No thanks, I'm good." She doesn't look at you. "Just so you know, I don't really need extra help anymore. I've got everything figured out already."

"Oh, okay." You step away from her desk, fiddling with your fingers while you stand there looking dumb. "Are you sure?" She pauses her typing before finally looking back up at you with her brows knit tightly together. 

"I just said it, didn't I?"

"I-I'm sorry, I just wanted to make sure since I had the time and I haven't been able to help you out as much cause of Sunwoo's project."

"Why don't you go and use your extra time with Professor Choi since you've been doing that anyway?" She gives you a look that settles in the pit of your stomach. You don't say anything to her, even as she shuts her laptop close and stands— brushing past you to get to one of the behavior rooms. You feel a bit hurt, and your other labmates aren't even paying attention to the whole thing; or, maybe they are, and they just don't wanna say anything to dig deeper into the wound. 

So, you turn on your heel with your head down, returning to your desk to continue your data analysis in silence.

—END

You try to tell yourself that it doesn't really matter— that you didn't need anyone's reassurance or validation. It hurt despite not being super close to Belle, but you knew she thought of you in a different light now and that wasn't really fair. You could see how it'd look problematic on the surface, but you thought she knew you better than that.

Guess it's also your fault for assuming.

When it's time for San to pick you up at your usual pick-up spot, you grab your keys and head out— still not having changed out of your outfit for the day. You try to take slow steps to not seem too eager, but you can't help it when you see San parked in his usual spot. This time though, he isn't watching for you in the rear view mirror. 

"Hey." You swing the door open and slide in. San gives you a small smile, followed by a:

"Hey." He watches as you dip forward to kiss him on the lips like you always do, and he surprisingly takes it. You were getting ready for the rejection or some kind of pull back; but, to San's own knowledge, he did it because he knew it'd be the last time he could savor it.

"You okay? Were you able to finish everything you needed to?"

"Uh, yeah. Think so." He says with a subtle chuckle before driving off. 

"Are we going to your house?"

"Thought we could sit at the view and talk, if that's okay with you?" You slowly nod, keeping your eyes trained on San as he drives.

"Okay. You're scaring me, Sannie." He shakes his head. 

"Please don't be."

"Then why couldn't we just talk about this like normal at your place?"

"Y/N, you trust me, right?" He quickly looks at you as he comes across a red light. You silently nod, just in time for him to drive off and continue onto the destination. "Okay, so trust me." He's still being so cryptic and distant that you don't even know how to respond. You quietly sit back in your chair and watch the surroundings pass you by, trying to settle the queasiness you feel building in your stomach.

These things never go well, and your case doesn't seem to be a one-off.

San continues to remain silent as he drives the rest of the way to the view, the music softly filling in as background noise that's enough to distract you. When he pulls into the small empty side lot and parks his car, he lets out a sigh and sits back.

"How was your day today?" He asks softly, still avoiding contact with you.

"It was okay, I guess. Better than yesterday."

"That's good."

"San." You adjust your position so you're looking directly at him, body facing him. "What is it that you wanted to talk about?"

"I don't know where to start."

"You have to start somewhere." He sighs again. "You know, whatever it is, you can tell me. We can figure this out together." You raise your hand to cup his cheek, almost somewhat of a gesture to force him to look at you. And for a minute, you feel him relax under your touch. You can tell he wants to turn and kiss the palm of your hand like he usually does, but he doesn't. "Sannie—"

"We should stop this." Your mouth slightly drops even though you don't know what to say. Your eyes widen, your touch turns cold. You retreat your hand while you let the response sink, San still keeping his gaze out of the window because he truly can't dare to look at you right now.

He'll fold.

He'll forget all about this and risk everything for the both of you.

He shouldn't.

"W-what?"

"We need to stop this, Y/N." He finally looks at you and his gaze feels like an icebox. Everything feels so cold and distant, even if it's supposed to be a front; it's working, and it's fucking you up completely.

"All of a sudden? I-I thought we were fine, what happened? What did I do wrong?" He shakes his head.

"Nothing. It's not anything you did, I'm just trying to be realistic here."

"Realistic? I thought you didn't care about the outside noise?"

"We're only prolonging the inevitable, don't you get it? Everything is going to come crashing down on us whether we like it or not. No matter how hard I try to stop it, this is what it'll eventually come to." You don't really understand where he's coming from or what he's getting at, but it's too late— you feel the tears steadily streaming down your cheeks.

Then, you're sobbing into your hands and you feel pathetic. But San feels terrible, he hates this. He doesn't wanna do this but he's conflicted between right and wrong, between being selfish and letting you go. "San, why?"

"Y/N, please hear me out on this, okay?" He's barely able to answer.

"Why? You ask him again. You cry in his passenger's seat, wiping it away with your sweater sleeves. "You said I could trust you, a-and that you wouldn't hurt me because you didn't care about anyone else."

"I need you to understand that I'm doing this because I care about you."

"But, I love you." San shakes his head as tears streak his own cheeks.

"We're being too selfish." He looks at you. "I am. I'm being too selfish and I don't need this to ruin things for you more. I need to put you first—"

"Why do you get to decide what that looks like for me, San?" He doesn't respond. "So, you don't want this?" He lets out a shaky sigh. "Us?"

"That's far from how I feel and you know it."

"Why can't you just say it back? Why can't we just let this be? I don't care—" You tug on his arm and he grips your hand before shaking his head.

"Because this is already hard as it is. Y/N, listen to me." He pleads, cupping your cheeks. He finally looks deep into your eyes, his thumb gently caressing the surface. The life in his eyes are gone. The glow, the stars. Now, his eyes are dull. They're holding back. They don't show you anything. "We should stop. We need to. Namjoon and the dean are discussing your future at the school, and I need you to keep going in this program. I need you to keep going forward even if that means I can't be right there with you every step of the way. You deserve to be here and you deserve to finish this until the very end. You've worked so hard to get here, and I refuse to let them lose out on you simply because of me."

"This makes no sense to me. Why do we have to do this? We can just be more careful and plan better. We can just—"

"I'm trying to protect you." 

"Protect me? From Namjoon and the dean? Or are you trying to protect yourself?"

"I don't give a damn about me, Y/N!" He's a little angrier with this response but you know it isn't directed towards you. It's towards Namjoon. The dean. Yunho and Iseul. This whole fucked up situation. "I'm always gonna put you first. It's always been about you and it'll always be about you." You cry a bit harder at his answer, unsure of what to make of this entire thing. You don't know if San really means this or if he is just trying to protect you. You don't know what to do, you don't know if you should keep trusting him the same way. 

You don't know if you can, and that's probably because you're blinded by all the overwhelming emotions you're feeling right now.

The both of you sit in this thick silence, your cries now filling the space while San tries to muster up the last bit of his energy to try and make you feel better— to get you to understand this better.

It's not that he wants to, he has to.

"I don't—" He swallows thickly. "I don't wanna do this but I have to. You have to understand." He says at a whisper, more tears streaming down his red-stained cheeks. "You have to understand, baby. Please." He begs. "I don't want them to do anything to you and I don't wanna jeopardize your future. Just listen to me. We have to do this." He leans forward to cup your cheeks and wipe your tears away with his thumb.

"No, we don't." You almost whine, but all San can do is shake his head and sit back in his seat.

"I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you, but I have to do what's best for you." His voice shakes. "I really am so sorry, sweetheart." He answers lowly, wiping his remaining tears before retreating back into his shell and showing off his cold demeanor for the remainder of his time with you. "I should get you back."

"I should've never trusted you. I should've known this was all too good to be true. You didn't care." You cry, repeating all this nonsense to try and get him to hurt the same way as you somehow. Because he'll never understand. Everything had led up to this and you were still unprepared for this. Even though you knew you'd be here at some point, nothing would have ever prepared you for the way your heart drops to your stomach; the way you feel nothing but thunder and rain.

Blue and grey.

He does, though.

In fact, he's probably hurting the most because he had to pull the trigger and let you go.

He hates it. He fucking hates it. 

He's trying to drown out the rest until he gets you back to your building because he can't take it. He can't take hearing you cry anymore, he can't take hearing you say these awful things because you're angry at the moment. He hopes that you'll see where he's coming from eventually because all he's ever wanted to do was protect you and keep you safe.

All he's ever done was care about you, and you only.

All he's ever felt was love for you, and you only. You showed him what love was like again and he'll never take that for granted.

This was him showing you love. He needed to put you first.

"I care about you more than anything. I'm trying to do what's best—"

"Without involving me? Deciding for me? Yeah." You wipe away at your cheeks once more before unbuckling your seatbelt. "Whatever San, save it." You tell him before swinging the door open and stepping out. "You were just trying to protect me. I get it."

"Baby, don't be like that. Please don't make this harder than it already is. I would never intentionally hurt you. You know this." He tries to reach for your hand, but you move it away.

"You don't get to call me that anymore." You roll your eyes. "Anyway, goodluck, San." Is all you say before slamming his door shut and storming off. You begin to cry to yourself again, feeling sorry for yourself and stupid. You know deep down that San was only trying to do the right thing and that he was trying to protect you. But, right now, you're angry, you're sad, you're upset. You feel empty and betrayed and you just need to feel this out in order to let it pass.

This too shall pass.

When you head upstairs, you quickly pack up a few things, along with your laptop and other school-related necessities before locking up and heading to your car. You feel a migraine coming on, which definitely means you should take it easy and stay behind; but, all you can think about is getting to your mom and being away from school for a few days.

Nothing's better than a mother's love and comfort, even though you aren't entirely sure how she's gonna react to this, how she'll feel about San.

In the end, you don't hate him. 

You can't.

You could never.

—FLASHBACK

"That was a good girl's date, wasn't it? We got massages, our nails done. Now we're eating a banana split under this nice weather." Your mom chuckles. "You need to come home more often."

"I know, I know." You scoop up a good helping of the banana split, internally conflicted on when is a good time to let your mom know about what's been going on. She would probably be surprised and scared for you, but your mom had a good way of choosing her words. She had a good way of being there for you but making her concerns known without pointing fingers or putting any blame on your actions.

"How has school been? Your friends?"

"They've been good. We've all been busy with our labs."

"Jiung's been good? You think you guys are all gonna stay in the labs you're currently rotating in?"

"He's good, yeah. And I think so, they all seem to be enjoying it."

"How about you?" You poke at the banana before scooping another helping. Your mom can already tell there's something else on your mind, but she's gonna let you take the floor and open up about it when you're ready.

Which is now. 

You just don't know if she's ready.

"Uh, yeah. It's been good!" You give her a small smile. "I'm still deciding on my route, but it's been good." Pause. "There's actually something else I've been meaning to tell you."

"Okay, try me!" She chuckles. "What is it?"

"I've been seeing someone."

"Oh?" She laughs. "Well, isn't that great?! I mean, you never needed a man, okay. But, as long as they make you happy and add value to your life. I just want you happy." She laughs. "Who is he, where did you meet? Tell me everything!" You sigh and take a deep breath before starting.

"We met at school. In the lab. Because.. he's my rotation professor." You give her a look, afraid of what she'll say. She stops mid-bite and almost chokes, setting her spoon down before looking at you with knitted brows.

"Your.. what?! Y/N—"

"Mom, please. Just hear me out before you start assuming and saying things. He didn't abuse his power, I didn't throw myself on him, okay? It just happened." You immediately say and look at her with puppy eyes. "We just happened. We grew feelings for each other and just clicked really well. We've been keeping things lowkey."

"But, Y/N. Honey, I say this sincerely. What if people find out? Not that I want them to, but they will." You shrug.

"I don't know, we'll figure it out."

"H-how old is he?"

"32."

"Oh, okay. He's young."

"And handsome." You rest your chin on the palm of your hand and smile. "His name is San. Choi San. He's pretty popular in the bioengineering and neuroscience world."

"That's good." Your mom is slightly shutting down and you know it's because her thoughts are traveling at 100mph and she doesn't know what to think or do.

Or say.

"Mom, I'm sorry. I know you're worried but I'll be fine, okay? I promise. It'll all be fine." You add to break the silence and reach for her hand.

"I just don't want him to hurt you and then you lose everything you've worked so hard for over him."

"I just don't know where this is gonna take us. Things feel too overwhelming. Like.. I just don't want any talk getting into his head about us."

"It could really ruin things for the both of you, Y/N. Please be smart about your actions. Don't throw everything away because of him. That's all I ask. Just by the looks of it, I know he makes you happy and you're riding cloud nine, but you need to remember who comes first— yourself."

"I know. I hear you. I don't mean to cause any unnecessary worry or anything."

"No, you're not. Lovey, I'm your mom, I'm always gonna worry regardless. But, I trust you enough to make the right decisions and to take care of yourself. I know you'll be smart and I know you won't be completely reckless. I'm not gonna lie, this— this isn't a 'conventional' relationship and I'm not sure how I feel about it yet." She sighs and looks at you with a hint of concern in her eyes. "I'm trying hard to see this from your side, not from my side, and I think it'll take me time to get used to. In the end, I just don't want you to get hurt. I don't want people to think bad about you, and I don't want you to lose everything you've worked so hard for."

"I know, but it's all okay. I promise." You promise her, but you don't even know if you believe the promise yourself. "You can trust him." She doesn't say much, and you can tell she's trying her hardest to swallow her true emotions.

"Just becareful."

—END

San picks up the phone to call Namjoon, hands slightly trembling. He's still sitting in his car, still sitting in the same spot because it's his turn to cry and let out all his feelings. He hits the steering wheel before running a hand through his hair, second-guessing all his decisions.

Why did it have to come down to all of this? Did he really have to? How long before he folds and comes back to you?

Before he says fuck this all together and chases after you?

He keeps trying to remind himself that he needs to protect you and let this blow over. He keeps trying to remind himself that it'll all be worth it and you both will find your way back to each other again.

In time.

"San."

"It's over with." Is all he is able to say before Namjoon lets out a small sigh on the other end.

"I'm sorry, San. Look, just give this time—" Quite frankly, he doesn't wanna hear it anymore. Not today, not tomorrow, not for awhile.

"It's fine." He cute him off. "You don't have to say it. Just please make sure nothing happens to her."

"You got my word. I'll figure this out. Don't worry." San ends the call before he's digging his head into his hands and cries.

And cries.

And cries.

Because now his days are going to blend back to the black and white filter he used to have on. He'll never experience that warmth, those colors, without you around.

He'll never witness where the sea meets the sky, when the sun sinks below the horizon. When dawn meets dusk. 

His days will be monotone and dull, lifeless and cold. Gloomy. Days he had prayed to get past and never return to.

But, he's here again.

And somehow, this pain feels worse this time around than the first time.

—FLASHBACK

San sighs when he pulls up to his parents' house, aggressively shifting the gear to park before taking a moment to himself. He wasn't happy when his father left him a voicemail, scolding him for the rumors going around about him dating his student. He was quick to call him names and demand him to make things right before his name could be tainted in the industry. San isn't gonna lie, he's always looked up to his father. Things changed when San started making a name for himself in the academic industry, creating some kind of competitive tension between the two. Well, San never felt that way. His dad strongly did though, for whatever reason.

He never understood it. It's whatever.

What San wasn't having was the fact that his father kept calling you a little girl who only wanted to use him to work her way in and up.

He slams the door to his car, adjusting his hat and his jacket before tapping the code into the keypad on the front door.

"San, is that you?" He hears his mom's sweet voice call out to him. He smiles softly when she comes into view in the hallway, opening her arms for a hug. "Please don't mind your father, you know how he is. He's just concerned." She gives the back of his neck a reassuring massage.

"Mm, yeah. I can feel the concern especially when he starts calling me out my name."

"San." His mom gives him a look before his dad looks up from the paper he's reading on the couch, forehead crinkling when he sees his son walk in.

"Why are you here?"

"Hi to you, too." San says while his mom steps in the middle.

"Honey." She turns to his father.

"So, what was up with that voicemail?" 

"Why don't you tell us what's been going on with you and your so-called girlfriend? Do you even care about yourself or what this could do to your career? You're so careless—"

"So what if I'm careless! You don't even know her so you don't have a right to do that!"

"Are you actually that stupid, San? Do you know how damaging this could be for you, for us?"

"What does this have to do with you?!" San's voice raises. 

"It has everything to do with us! Everyone thinks you either forced that girl into a relationship or she threw herself on you and you stupidly took the bait!"

"Even if I said it wasn't like that, you wouldn't listen anyway!"

"Are you serious about her?"

"What makes you think I'm not? We're two grown adults who are capable of making our own decisions and knew the consequences from the very beginning."

"And you think she'll stay? Someone that young and who is just getting started with her life, basically. You think she'll stay and be there for you when times get rough?"

"Absolutely." His dad scoffs.

"Is that so? Wishful thinking. You couldn't even keep Iseul and now you're downgrading to a st—"

"Hey!" San's mom cuts off his father's statement. "That is enough from you. Don't finish that sentence."

"You have no idea what Iseul put me through!" San's tone is louder to match his father's energy. "I found somebody who genuinely and truly cares about me and who I am. That isn't enough for you? Just because she's a student, but a grown adult at that?! You can't even be happy for a second? You still find a way to be on Iseul's side even though she cheated with my bestfriend!"

"Maybe it's time you realized you pushed Iseul away. That was your own doing. And this girl? Don't come to me and make me tell you 'I told you so' when she leaves after she's gotten everything she needs from you." San's dad is fuming in front of him. "How could you be so sure things will be smooth sailing with her, hm? What makes you think this can work?"

"This is fucking bullshit, I'm not explaining myself to you. If you don't wanna be happy for me and support me, then so be it."

—END

San thinks maybe his dad was right; maybe this wasn't meant to be, and was just supposed to be another fleeting moment, another lesson.

Even though deep down, he knows it's far from it.

As he sits in his home office, he scrolls through old pictures of you and him together— you, pictures you've sent him. He feels the rush of sadness hit him like bricks, his chest almost physically hurting from the ache. He has this sudden urge to text you and call you, tell you how much he misses you.

But, he stops himself.

What if you stopped caring? What if you were so mad at him that you hated him?

He couldn't bear with it.

If only he knew how much you cried and yearned for him every night, if only he knew how much your head hurt while you laid on your mom's lap while she ran her hands through your hair— gently cooing you and shushing you to help you get some sleep.

If only he knew.

"Mom, I'm sorry." You cry and cry, laying your head on her lap as you let everything out. "You were right, I messed everything up. This was all so stupid. I'm so stupid."

"Don't say that." She shushes you and tries to coo you. "Don't ever say that again." She looks at you. "What happened?" You gather the strength to tell her everything that's been going on. How deep your relationship went with San and how well he took care of you. How you weren't always the most careful but the only reason why things blew up was because of Hae-jin, Iseul and Yunho. How Iseul and Yunho just keep trying to get in between, how Jiung even went to Professor Kim about all of this.

How San broke this off claiming he wanted to protect you and put you first.

How utterly sad and betrayed you feel.

"I'm just so tired of feeling this way. I hate how alone I feel. I hate how much I miss him. I hate how this unfolded the way it did."

"I'm so sorry, honey. You need to let things be for now, okay? I know that's not what you wanna hear, but you need to. Especially for school and yourself."

"Why does anyone care? Why does it matter?"

"People have nothing better to do, and I'm sorry it had to be those two and Jiung."

"I'm so tired, mom. When will this pass? What did I do wrong? Why did he leave so quickly?"

"Lovey. You did nothing wrong. It wasn't you at all, and it wasn't San either. The circumstances are just tough. You didn't know it would play out this way and I'm sure he has his reasons."

"What if he's just using that as an excuse? What if he really doesn't want this anymore?"

"If he really cared about you, why would he lie, Y/N? I'm sure he was doing his best to protect you both, especially you. I know it hurts right now, hun. But, maybe this is for the best." You don't wanna hear it even though your mom might be right.

Maybe this is for the best. Maybe this was just telling you this could never work between you two.

No matter how hard you both tried.

San's urge to text or call doesn't lessen as the next few days go by, especially when he notices he hasn't seen any trace of you. He'll usually see you walking towards the biology building for Yunho's class or making your way to the dining hall with the girls.

If San hadn't overheard Sunwoo telling his lab mates that you were sick, he would've gone crazy.

It still doesn't help that you're feeling unwell and he can't do anything about it.

"Sunwoo." San pokes his head out of his door, causing Sunwoo to lift his head from his laptop and shift his attention towards him. "Can you meet really quickly?"

"Yeah, sure thing. Be right over!"

"Thanks." San heads back to his desk and lets out a breath, waiting for Sunwoo to come. It takes him less than 5 minutes to finally make his way into the office, rubbing his hands down his jeans. "Hey." San looks up at him. "Thanks for coming in on short notice."

"No prob! What's up, Professor Choi?"

"I wanted to talk to you really quickly because I wanted you to hear it from me directly. Starting next week, we'll be losing Y/N's support. She'll be heading to Professor Kim's lab."

"O-oh. Okay. Damn." Sunwoo ticks his head to the side. "Professor Kim with the steal." San chuckles a bit.

"Yeah." San can't even hide his sadness when he looks down at the papers beneath his hands that Sunwoo catches on and he feels bad. He still doesn't know the details and he never will, but if it's one thing he can gather right now, it's the fact that the room feels cold and empty.

It's the fact that San literally has to force himself to smile and deliver this news like all is okay and no big deal— when in fact, it fucking is.

Sunwoo feels so bad.

"So, I know she's out sick right now, but will I still get to see her before she goes? I wanna talk to her to wrap things up, too."

"When she returns, we'll make sure she has time to close loose ends with you and gather her things."

"Hm." Sunwoo nods slowly. "Okay."

"I'm sorry this came up so suddenly, but I had to make a few changes around here. We all thought she'd be a better fit with Professor Kim." 

"I see. She's super smart and incredibly great at what she does, I know she'll do well in whatever she does and wherever she goes." San nods.

"Yeah, she will." He sighs. "There's another rotation student that I might bring in next quarter that might be a good fit to work with you, too. His name is Baehyuk."

"Cool. Down to meet whenever the time is right."

"Thanks, Sunwoo."

"No, thank you for always giving me some help and pushing me forward." San gives him a small smile. "Everything will work out."

"Yeah." Is all he could say in response. Because he hopes it will. 

Right now, it seems like a far reach.

All San wants to do is love you, rather than hiding just how deeply in love he was with you.

—FLASHBACK

"Here, baby." He turns to hand you a plate with a smile on his face. "Think you can help me dry the last of these dishes and put 'em up?"

"Course, chef." He chuckles, watching as you tip-toe with nothing but his shirt on to reach over and place the dry dishes into the proper cabinet. You follow suit with the last three dishes, setting the towel aside while San wipes away the water droplets around the sink. "We did it, babe! All clean."

"Sure did." He laughs, caging you in against the counter to kiss you sweetly. "Thank you, baby."

"You're welcome." You giggle. "Thank you for making dinner."

"As long as you enjoyed." You nod.

"What do you wanna do for the rest of the evening?"

"Mm, we can watch a movie and fall asleep here on the couch without any worry."

"That's fun." You smile.

"Or, we can do other things that I have in mind." He brushes the hair away from your face while you wrap your arms around his neck.

"Ooh." You reply in a sing-song tone. "Care to indulge?"

"Absolutely." He says just as he swiftly carries you and wraps your legs around him. You squeal as he walks over to the couch and gently plops you down onto the soft cushions, wasting no time to attach his lips to every inch of skin he can. He slowly hovers over you, hands roaming up your shirt and tugging material along with it as he continues to move upward— exposing your cute pink panties from beneath. He sinks to his knees and pries your legs open after fixing your position to the edge of the couch. "Let me make you feel good, love."

"Yes please, Sannie. Please." You beg, watching as San slides down your panties and tosses them aside. His hands caress your thighs, giving them a good squeeze while laying open-mouth kisses along the surface. You continue to watch him, biting on your lip when he hovers over where you need him at most. He licks a stripe up your folds, causing your head to cock back against the cushion. He begins to gently kiss and suck at your heat— a satisfying, breathy moan leaving your lips as you let San relish being in between your thighs. He laps away at your clit, tonguing down your pussy as if he had been deprived of you for years.

You love/hate how good he is at this. "Babe—" You moan loudly, hips now working on their own terms against his mouth. He subtly nods as he continues to suck and lap away at your heat, tongue keeping you wet and filthy; just the way he likes it. "God, right there—" You whine, hips rolling upward and grinding against his mouth, his tongue. 

You used to be so shy.

Now, you're not afraid to tell him what you want and he fucking loves it. "Oh—San— gonna—" Your statement comes out broken as you continue to work against his mouth, orgasm crashing down like a harsh wave against the shore. You grip his hair, body twitching as San continues to latch on and groan against your pussy; incredibly hard while watching the way your body surrenders all. "Fuck." You whisper, still twitching due to the aftershocks from your first orgasm of the night. 

"That's my girl." He's back to kissing your thighs, hands gently rubbing up and down your leg as a way to soothe you. 

"Need you." You tug him by the shirt to plant a messy kiss against his lips— shirt soon to be discarded on the floor, along with his sweats.

Now you're on his lap, slowly riding his cock just the way he likes it— the couch's throw blanket resting against the small of your back and draped along San's lap.

It's his favorite position after all.

"Mm— just like that, baby." He whispers against your lips as you continue to ride him slowly on the couch. "Just like that." He repeats. "You're my good girl, right? Just mine?" He asks lowly and you nod, letting out a sweet moan as he pinches your nipple and watches your head tilt back in pleasure. "Oh, fuck— just like that." His head rests back against the couch, feeling your walls brush against him and drag against his rock hard cock. "All mine."

"Mm'fuck, Sannie." You keep your head back, intense pleasure bubbling at the pit of your stomach. You take him slowly, deeply; his cock hitting all the right spots every time you do a 'lil tug and pull— hips carefully rolling against him. 

"So fucking sexy." He groans. "God, you're everything." His lips drag against your skin, tongue swirling around your perky nipples as your hands tug on the ends of his soft, black hair. "Everything to me." He whispers as if your skin could hold all of the universe's secrets. The blanket is barely keeping up with your movements. San's hand comes up along the base of your neck, bringing you back down to envelope your lips with his. 

The kiss is full of hunger.

The kiss is slow and steady.

The kiss is messy.

You break the kiss first, body slowly crumbling in his grip when you feel your high approaching quick. You moan loudly, breath ragged as you pant; hips slightly picking up the pace to push yourself further and further until you reach the edge.

"Oh—" San matches your moans. "That's it, sweetheart. Cum for me." He praises you, voice deep— tone sending vibrations all the way down to your core. "Give it to me. Wanna feel you cum all over this dick, angel." Hearing San talk the way he's talking is enough to make your coil snap. He continues to coo you as you come undone on his lap; stuttering in your movements and trembling in his grip. He places his hands on your hips, fingers digging deep into the flesh while he fucks up into you— reaching his high shortly after you with a loud groan and hiss. "Fuck, that was so good, baby." You giggle, forehead against his while his hands gently caress and your back. You leave a tender kiss against his plump lips, and he chases with a few repeated kisses before bringing you down with him on the couch. The both of you lay underneath the throw blanket, now properly covering most of your bodies while San holds you from behind. He has his propped up by an arm while you both watch the show on TV, but San finds his thoughts wandering elsewhere at some point. He begins to look around the house and notices how different it feels since you've been around.

Good different.

A space that used to he so grey, so lifeless; now has remnants of you everywhere.

Your polaroids.

Pictures of you and San in frames.

Your little stuffed animal keychains and rings thrown onto the kitchen island, or the room. Or even his desk in the office.

Your little post-it notes. Your favorite chips and snacks littered around the pantry.

You were there everywhere he turned, and he finds it's one of his biggest blessings.

Especially when you lay here on the couch with him, completely not minding the idea San proposed of just falling asleep on the couch together while sorting through movies.

You agreed so quickly and so happily.

No matter how big or small, most ideas just seemed silly in his last relationship.

But, now he has you— someone who is happy to just be with him and spend time with him. No matter how big or small the idea, the plans.

San loves you.

And he'll never take it for granted.

—END

—taglist: @asjkdk @interweab @woojirang @svintsandghosts @cheolliehugs @persphonesorchid @mxnsxngie @jycas @cowboydk @vcutparis @chngbnwf @struggling101 @sanhwalvr @angelqueendom @barbielibra @brown88 @choisansplushie @yunhoswrldddd @hyukssunflower @vickykazuya @lucid-galaxys-world @jaytheatiny @pommelex @thechaotictheoryy @vixensss @santineez @nopension @domfikeluva @in-somnias-world @my-atiny-kookie-rkive @mountiiny @naoristerling @onmymymyway @thecutiepieme @wyrated

[evertidings]

— JANUARY 2025.

Accomplishments.

Since February started I’ve been in a bit of a brain fog so forgive me if I don’t remember everything that happened in January. But! I hope you’ve all been well and that the New Year was good to everyone!! I don’t think i’m alone in thinking that January felt like the longest month of my life. It usually goes by slow but my God, did it feel bad this time around.

In terms of Chapter 12, I got a fair bit of work done considering December was spent writing the Holiday Special. That said, I've recently entered what feels like one of the worst writer's blocks I've had in a while, so maybe this is my karma. But, to speak on better things, the last time I posted an update, I said I was working on Eliana's initial meeting with the Hunter. Funnily enough, I'm only just getting around to that now. I ended up taking a brief detour and creating another branch with your chosen RO, this one prompted by the choice of who to sit next to when Eliana invites you to the meeting table. I thought it would be fun, but considering this is what caused my slump, it's kinda become the opposite. I should be laughing but I'm not.

Honestly, I didn't think writing about the ROs would give me such a hard time, but here I am. I suppose when you're writing the same content in five different ways it does get very draining—I'm simply at the end of the line. I got about halfway before I started feeling sluggish, but I am pleased with the half that I wrote. Rylan's branch especially, since theirs was the first I finished and the only that I wrote with motivation.

If you follow me on Patreon, you'll have already read my very pessimistic updates (rambles, really) about my current situation, so I'll spare you the details. This isn't to say that Chapter 12 will be cancelled. If anything, it might be slightly delayed as my writing speed has reduced significantly, but I don't have any plans to abandon the project. It's simply a phase I am in.

Overall, though, despite progress being a bit stagnated right now, January was very good to me. Eliana is one of my most interesting characters and I'm really trying to emphasize that through my writing. She's been a challenge that I've been happy to take on. I really hope that I get my motivation back soon and I can continue to write her scenes because, man, she's wonderful. Such an enigma and mystery. I'm really excited for everyone to meet her. Mirai and Ciel are quite similar, with tactics in intimidation, but Eliana has completely different motives, so she presents herself very differently. It's fun. She's fun.

Finally, ICYMI, my 4 Year Anniversary event is going on right now, with prizes to be won. The official end date will be February 24th, the day I posted my intro post. With that said, I'll talk to you all soon and let's all hope my writer's block is only a temporary obstacle in the journey to Chapter 12. Thank you for reading!! <3

Stats.

Chapter Total: 34,523 words (+12,673)

Game Total: ~545,955 words

[mcrdvcks]

i've been working on the logan x reader oneshot where reader is a mercenary and is "friends" with wade and is a bloodthirsty killer (mercenary).

anyways, i'm like 14.5k words in and i don't think i'm even halfway done 😭 this is gonna be a long one y'all...

but, i thought i'd give a small sneak peak to see how people like it so far :)

TW: mentions of blood and violence/killing

---

Across from him, you leaned back in a creaky chair, cleaning your knife with slow, deliberate strokes. The blood from the last mission had dried into a dark crust, and wiping it away gave you something to focus on while Wade yammered from the couch.

“I’m just saying, you two have got to loosen up,” Wade said, waving a hand in the air as though that settled it. “I mean, look at me. I’m the picture of mental health, and I’m fun. You? You’re like... I don’t even know. Some kind of murder statue. And Logan over here is basically if Grumpy Cat got jacked and started stabbing people.”

“Shut it, Wade,” Logan growled, rubbing his temples.

“Oh, sure, stifle the one source of joy in this room,” Wade replied, flopping onto his back dramatically. “You know, you guys are lucky you have me. Without my sparkling personality, this team would just be murder and moaning.”

“Wade,” you said, voice flat as you glanced his way, “leave.”

Wade sat up, clutching his chest in mock offense. “Leave? What about team bonding? What about the camaraderie, the—”

“Wade,” Logan said, his tone dropping dangerously low.

“Fine,” Wade muttered, standing and grabbing his katana from where it leaned against the wall. “I’ll just take my delightful self somewhere it’ll be appreciated. Maybe join a book club. Talk about murder mysteries with other intellectuals.”

Logan didn’t look up as Wade stomped out, slamming the door behind him with unnecessary flair.

Silence fell, broken only by the sound of your knife scraping against the cloth. Logan finally broke it, his voice heavy with irritation. “You don’t have to make everything so damn messy.”

You raised an eyebrow but didn’t look at him. “Messy gets the job done.”

He scoffed, setting his glass down with a hard clink. “There’s getting the job done, and then there’s whatever the hell you’re doing. You think I like killing? I do it because I have to, not because I enjoy it.”

You shrugged, the motion casual, like his words didn’t cut as sharply as they were meant to. “Maybe you’re just not good at it.”

Logan’s chair screeched against the floor as he pushed it back and stood, towering over the table. “Careful,” he said, his claws unsheathing with a snikt.

You finally looked up, meeting his glare with a calm, steady gaze. “You think you scare me? I don’t care what you think about me, Logan. You don’t like how I work? Don’t work with me.”

He leaned forward, resting his fists on the table, the claws catching the dim light. “It’s not about liking it. It’s about you putting everyone else at risk with your bloodlust. You don’t think, you just act.”

“Because thinking gets you killed,” you snapped, the first sign of heat in your voice.

Logan’s eyes narrowed, his jaw tightening. For a moment, the air between you felt like it might ignite.

“You’re dangerous,” he said finally, his tone laced with something that wasn’t quite anger.

“So are you,” you shot back, your voice quieter now, but no less sharp.

The room fell silent again, the tension thick enough to choke on. Logan stared at you for a long moment, his expression unreadable. Then he straightened, retracting his claws with a metallic hiss.

“Next time,” he said, his voice rough, “try not to get anyone killed.”

He turned and walked toward the door, leaving you alone in the dim kitchen. You watched him go, your grip on the knife tightening for just a moment before you went back to cleaning it.

---

(if you asked to be tagged on the original post, i've got you! but you're more than welcome to ask to be added here if you're interested!)

[ghostbustting]

Hiiiii !!

How are youuuu???

I was wondering if you could write something for early 2000s James Hetfield where reader is in her mid twenties but haven't lost her virginity yet because she is waiting for the right person and James just so happen to be the right person.

But like really fluffy too you know

You don't have to right it if you don't want to, I completely understand

HAVE A GREAT REST OF YOUR DAYY 💕💕

HIII I'm so sorry I haven't found a lot of time to finish the requests, I promise I'm trying to find as much freetime as possible to finish em all 🫶 over here stressed out by competitions 😭 ALSO THIS IS SO SWEET❗️

╰┈➤“𝑾𝑬 𝑪𝑶𝑵𝑵𝑬𝑪𝑻„ ๋࣭

James Hetfield x Reader

Contains Smut.

“Okay let me get this straight..”

James looked at me with a raised eyebrow, his eyes slightly widening as he leaned over the small shitty dinner table I had in the kitchen of my flat, his hands placing down the metal fork and knife he was previously holding onto the plate where his food was still halfway done from being gone.

I chuckle to myself as the man in front of me ask me, "You haven't lost your virginity?" The tone of his voice and the look on his face shows a genuine hint of disbelief at the unanswered question itself.

”No..” I answered with a small sigh, a smile still on my face, faltering a little while I look down nervously. The answer that just slipped out of my lips itself has been something I’m not fully proud of, feeling rather embarrass of still being what they would call “pure” at my current age. Even though I have my own reasons behind it.

The way James’ eyes widened even more and his jaw dropped a little, I could tell that he himself did not believe my answer.

It was just another Saturday night, James had asked me to have dinner together in my rather small flat, what I thought would’ve been a big contrast to what his usual preference. I had only been dating him for almost a year now, and that fact alone still made me stay awake at night, wondering what the fuck I did to have him right here in front of me.

He and even his exes were everything I’m not.

Yet he made me feel like I’m everything he needs.

James leaned back and ran a hand through his short blond hair, his other hand taking the glass of water as he slowly sip on it, he sigh as he place it back down, his eyes gazing back up at me. “..But you’re—”

”Old enough? I know.”

He paused for a moment and furrow his eyebrows, head tilted. A small chuckle leave his lips while his head shook a little, “I was about to say a wonderful human being.” He spoke, his shoulders shrugging. “You’re seriously telling me no guy has ever tried it with a woman with a personality like yours?”

Looking down, I can feel my cheeks heating up— no doubt they’d be red at the moment. His words seems to be so simple, yet so genuine. I didn’t quite expect him to make a comment on my personality when I felt like finding a person like me was something not hard to do.

There never was much to comment about myself anyways. I always found myself to be someone predictable.

Chuckling softly, I look back up at him, “No, I just.. I don’t feel ready yet.” I slowly confessed, my hands fiddling with the hem of my shirt under the table, feeling the slightest bit of nervous with the topic.

”Scared?” He asked, in a way of asking for a ‘confirmation’.

”I..” I trail of and took a deep breath, letting it out in a heavy breath as I smile softly at him, my answer coming out in slow soft voice, “I’m waiting for the right one.. the right person.”

His head nods slowly as a sign of understanding, a small smile on his face as he look at me. "What um.. what about me?" He starts, a hint of hesitant in his voice, I could tell he was going to ask something he might think was rather 'risky', my guess was answered when he spoke up again, "Do you think.. I could be.. the one..?"

The question struck me like lightning. I look down, processing his words in a loop inside my brain. I think about my answer again and again, the urge to say yes consuming my heart, making it thump slightly faster, meanwhile my brain told me to think wisely with my answer.

Before I could answer anyways, James spoke up. "—It's fine." He say, making me raise an eyebrow as he snap me out of my train of thoughts. "You don't have to answer it." A genuinely soft smile was on his lips as he look at me with those kind blue eyes, a different gaze than the one I usually see him use onstage.

"Just know.." His hands slowly reach over the small table and hold both of mine, "I really.. really love you." As the words leave his lips, it hits right into my heart instead, filling my stomach with butterflies when I can hear how genuine his voice sounds.

"Like.. I'm totally definitely absolutely obviously one hundred and one percent infinitively serious about this."

A small soft laugh leave my lips, my fingers wrapping around his own hands, holding each other's hands tightly as our eyes meet. I can help but feel a sense of warmth and love taking control of my body, the actual love held in his eyes becoming even more clear as daylight as time passes.

He then stood up and took our plates and glasses, his intention of washing the dirty dishes and eating utensil obvious.

I quickly stood up and hold the stacked plates and glasses from his hands, placing them back down on the table between us. "No need. I'll wash them myself later." I smile softly at him.

The man in front of me returned the smile and nod, "Then I best be going." He spoke, walking away from the table to grab his stuff, his shoes leading his way to the door of my flat, my own steps follows close behind.

We stood in front of each other for awhule, just sharing sweet smiles. My neck started to hurt a little from how I had to tilt my head up to look at him from his tall figure, but I could care less if it means seeing that smile of his he probably knew would melt my heart.

He took a step closer to me and lean down, his lips meets my pinkish cheek in a simple yet sweet peck, his voice gently saying, "See you tomorrow, sweet one."

I look up at him and smile slightly wider, my eyes never stops admiring the man I was granted with, "Goodnight, James."

His body slowly turned around from me, the door handle now being held by his hand as he pull it down, unlocking and opening the previously closed door, being greeted by the empty hallway.

At the same time, something was itching in my heart. Something that needed to be relieved but I just couldn't place what is it that my heart needed so bad.

It wasn't until his shoe lands a single step outside of my flat doorframe when my mind brought all my thoughts back to his question earlier, the question if I think he could be the one for me. Then, to the way he confessed his love for me, the way his eyes gaze at a deep layer in me that no other man have ever discovered, the way he touched and cared for me.

I couldn't help it.

"James!" I yelped out, flinching ever so slightly as I was shocked myself by how sudden and loud my voice came out.

The man turns around quickly, a look of concern plasteres on his face, "What did I do?!—"

His sentence failed to come out as I cut them off quick by wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him down, my lips attatched onto his while I drag him back into my flat, my leg kicking the door closed behind us. "I'm ready.." I mumble against his lips.

It must've took him awhile to process what's happening, but then I feel his arms wrap themselves around my waist, tight, pulling me flushed against his body as our lips move against the other's, the warmth of our bodies mixing in a lustful heat.

Our bodies moved on their own, his legs leading mine to walk further into my flat, all while still locked in the passionate kiss.

Every now and then, my back would bump into several walls we passed along the way to my bedroom, our lips never faltering in their move, the heat only increasing between our bodies.

It wasn't long until we reach into my bedroom, his feet kicking the door shut behind us as he gently lay me down on my bed, his bigger body hovering over my own as his lips slowly leave mine.

James' blue eyes gaze upon my body, my chest heaving up and down from how much breath he took from me just by one passionate kiss that felt like it lasted a century, which however still isn't long enough.

His hand held mine close to his face, his lips now pressing onto the skins of my palm, the facial hair covering his chin tickling my palm a little. Nevertheless, my eyes are fixated on him and distracted by how beautiful he look, taking care of me so gently.

My hand slowly cup his cheek and stroke his skin with the pad of my thumb, my eyes meet his as he press one last kiss to my other hand.

“You sure you’re ready, baby?” He ask in a soft voice, a big contrast to the one I usually hear him use to sing on the radio and records. “We really don’t have to..”

With deep breaths, I slowly exhale a shaky breath and force a soft smile for him. “My heart long for yours, James.. as much as my body long to be close to yours forever..”

A small happy grin appear on his lips as he sit up straight again, “Whatever you want, sweet girl.”

He whisper as his hand reached up and touch my red and warm cheeks, his face inching close and closer by second as his lips slowly find it’s way to mine, our lips locking and rubbing against one another in yet antother soft kiss.

Although this time, his other hand was busy travelling down my body, reaching the end of my shirt and slipping his hand in, his palm laying flat on my stomach, the feeling of his cold fingertips sending goosebumps on my arms.

"May I?" He asked, now holding the hem of my shirt and tugging on it lightly.

It only took one nod from me before he slip it off my body in a swift action, the sight of my bare body now in full display for him, the only thing covering my torso being my bra.

Which later on I find him unclasping as well, leaving my breasts to be revealed.

I never knew people's eyes actually do this in real life until I saw how his eyes actually sparkles with admiration towards my revealed torso, the blue in his eyes becoming slightly darker. "Shit.. you're a goddess.."

He mumbled as his hand caress the new revealed skins, my back arching ever so slightly at the feeling of his rough hands.

"Please don't stop.." I whined out, as embarrassing as it is to let out such noise like that. After all, I doubt I won't be letting out even more embarrassing noises later tonight.

His fingers then took a trip down to my pants, two of them hooking around the waistband while he gazes back up at me again, searching cautiously for any look of hesitation or regret in my face in case I wanted to stop.

Which of course, I didn't.

Seeing through my eyes like a window to my heart, he knew he was doing the right thing when he slowly pull down my pants along with my lace panties.

The lump in my throat became hard to swallow the moment the two last fabrics covering my body was tossed aside to the floor, abandoned and revealing my thighs along with my virgin cunt, not touched by any man at all. At least, until tonight that is.

Slowly, both of his hands place themselves on my knees and spreads my thighs apart, giving him a full sight of what he'd be taking care of tonight, my glistening folds enchanting him to take this further.

But he knew better than to rush me on my first time.

"Can I touch you?"

The way he ask for permission warms my heart, cause he knew damn well by the way I was already squirming a little that I was desperate for him.

"Please do.."

And so he did.

His fingers took a trip up and down my thighs, his lips pressing a kiss on my thigh, dangerously close to my heat that I can feel his fucking heavy breath right against my folds, sending a wave of shock up my body.

Yet the shock was nothing compared to when his fingers lightly graze up and down my folds, the light yet intimate touch only increasing the arousing feeling of lust that's burning in my heart like a flame.

His thumb was on my clit by the time he start rubbing gentle circles on it, a gasp leaving my lips at the feeling. I never knew it would feel like this. Yet it was all only his thumb, let alone what it would feel later on..

While his thumb continued to give love to my clit, two of his fingers find their way up and down my folds before slowly slipping past them, his digits entering my tight pussy.

I gasp even louder, my hand flying to my mouth to prevent any more sinful noises leaving my lips. But the way his fingers slowly pump into me did not help. At all.

"Fuck, you're so tight... so.. wet.." He muttered out, his fingers moving deeper yet gently into me, stretching out my insides as he knew just how to move his fingers properly, making the sweetest noises come out of the back of my throat every single time. “You doing alright up there? Does it hurt?”

My eyes look down at him, his lips on my thigh while his hand takes good care of my pussy, “A- a little but.. it feels..” I gasped out a moan, cutting myself off before continuing my words, “..good… so good…” I breathed out, my head thrown back as my eyes flutter close with how much pleasure those devils of fingers he have can make.

Those two digits of him moves so slow yet so nicely, my squishy walls hugging his fingers tightly, there’s not a single doubt they’d be soaked with my wetness by the time they leave my pussy. Not to mention how much wetter I got from the circles he’s rubbing on my clit, only going faster as time fly.

”James..”

Just then, he actually did slip those two damn fingers out of my pussy, causing me to be a whining mess, in need to release the tight knot in my stomach, my body squirming around and grasping onto the bedsheets.

My whines stopped the moment I see him take off his shirt, the toned torso he owns becoming visible to my eyes, encouraging that same flaming lust in me. I can only watch as he start unbuckling his belt.

Our eyes met when he toss his belt aside, "Listen.." He started in a quiet voice, "If you want to stop... just tell me, okay?" The genuine care in his voice was no doubt.

With a nod of my head, he took it as a permission to continue. That's when both his pants and boxers fall to the ground, leaving me with the sight of his hard cock, standing proudly before me.

A small gasp leave the back of my throat, my lips parting open in amaze of his not-so-disappointing size, my mind cannot comprehend how something like that would fit my hole.

"...You trust me?"

"I do, I really do.."

James smiles softly at me as he slowly gets on the bed, his bare body hovering over mine as his hands gently runs up and down my skin, which soon stops and fixated on holding both of my hips, his thumbs rubbing soothing circles on my skin while his lips press a soft kiss upon my forehead, my cheek, and my shoulder.

One of his hands went down to grab his cock, leading it towards my folds. My breath hitched the moment I feel his tip brushing against the entrance of my pussy.

His eyes yet again meet mine for what felt like the hundred times tonight, then... I feel him slowly enter me.

I yelp, my hands flying to his back. A wince was pulled out of me when he slowly push more of his length into me. The width of his cock was stretching out my walls, causing more wince to escape me.

"Hurts?" He whisper softly, kissing my hair.

"The fuck do you think..?" I winced out, nails digging into the skin of his back. "B-but.. don't stop.. please.."

A soft chuckle leave his lips as he slowly pushes more of his member, all while holding my body in his arms, chest to chest. "I'll be gentle.. promise.."

By the time he starts filling me up with all of his length, the aching in me starts to fade away, being replaced by a nicely overwhelming sense of pleasure. My winces turns into moans when my body relax and give in to his thrusts.

James stayed still in me for a while, letting my walls stretch and adjust to the new feeling of his cock in me, his lips never stopped kissing around my face, making me feel as loved as possible.

After awhile, I softly whisper into his ear, "James..?"

"Mm?"

"Please move..."

I never thought two simple words like that would be able to deliver even more pleasure towards my way. Cause the moment he slowly starts thrusting into me, a gasp leave my throat and my legs wrap themselves around his waist.

James grunted as he feel my walls clenching around his girth, his thrusts were slow and gentle, yet enough to pull out the dirties sounds from us.

My nails were digging real deep into his skin, no doubt leaving marks later. But I just had to hold onto him, or else I'll most likely crumble into pieces from how good he makes me feel.

His hands guided my hips to move against his own, accelerating his thrusts ever so slightly, but not too fast. "Fuuck... so tight.." He muttered out, shaking his head, causing a single strand of his blond hair to fall out of place and in front of his eye.

The new speed was gentle enough for me, but fast enough to make me lose all the dignity I had just a second ago.

"James..!" I moaned out, my back arched while my head was thrown back, endless cycle of moans coming out of me.

"Too much?—"

"More!"

"You- you sure—"

"Please!!" My fingernails scratched down his back, causing him to let out a loud groan from the somewhat pleasuring pain my nails caused him.

My eyes widens when he actually did fasten his speed in his thrusts, but still somehow able to keep it gentle.

When I look up, I see how much James was enjoying this, how much love he put into his thrusts, how genuine he is with me. His eyes gazes right into mine.

My walls starts to clench around his girth while that same knot returns to my stomach, "I.. I think I.." I couldn't find the right words to utter out of my trembling lips.

"C'mon, princess.. release with me.." He whispers, his hand reaching back to hold mine, his lips yet again placing sweet kisses on my skin. I watch as our hands fit perfectly well together.

Then, with one last final thrust of his cock.. I let out a moan of his name, my eyes rolled back while I feel liquid gushing out of my hole.

James pulled out of me quickly all of a sudden, his hand flew to his cock and start pumping up and down his length, groans and curses of his filling my ears. "F-fuck.. shit.. fuck fuck!"

White streaks of cum shoots out of the tip of his cock, flying straight to my stomach while he lets out all of his release, my own cum gathered on the sheets underneath my legs.

My chest rises up and down, I look up at him with wide eyes as I grab onto his body and pulled him close to me, wrapping every limbs of mine around his bigger body, breathing heavily into his ear while his own heavy breaths fills my ear.

"I love you. I love you so so much. Don't leave me.." I whisper into his ear, a slight panic in my voice as I realize the man I'm holding actually is the right man for me. The man that have a deep connection with me, our hearts and souls tied together in an invisible string all these years we haven't met each other.

"My heart is yours."

His voice whispers into my ear, a melody of love I'd cherish forevermore.

[whatsk-poppinhomies]

Pairing : Dad!Lee Felix x F!Reader TW : it's still pure angst ; Felix pining over reader ; biiig regret ; arguing ; Y/N has an idol boyfriend, but I'm gonna keep it a surprise, let me know in the comments how you feel ; Word Count : 4.7k Request : So many... It's here now! A/N : I kinda did a fast forward here because I feel like I do a lot of fics like this where the child(ren) are newborns and there's not much that I can do with all that. So, it's set about 2 and a half years after the first fic!

“You can finish editing tomorrow…” Your boyfriend said, coming up behind you as you sat in front of your laptop that felt like it was now burning holes through your eyes. “And the offer is still on the table, I can have one of the editors from the company take on the videos. I’m sure they wouldn’t mind.” He leaned over your chair, his chin resting on your shoulder as your head jerked forward, your lack of sleep catching up with you fast. 

“We’re not even supposed to be together, I don’t think the company would really be okay with editing the vlogs… I’m fine, I just need another cup of coffee.” You excused, making sure to save the current editing file just in case you passed out and accidentally clicked something. “Are the babies still sleeping?” You asked as you pushed yourself up from the chair, about to head to the bedroom door, but his hands grabbed your hips, holding you in place. 

“Yes they’re sleeping. And you don’t need another cup of coffee, you need to get to sleep too.” He gently led you to the bed, stifling his laughter as you staggered and tripped over your feet on the way over, only letting you go to pull the blankets back far enough for you to get under them. Once your head hit the pillow though your eyes were shut. “Goodnight, baby…” 

//

“Who the fuck is that?!” Felix groaned as he watched the video on the tv screen, hoping that if the image were bigger he’d be able to figure it out, but you seemed to perfectly blur the guy in every shot and you didn’t even show his face. “Clearly it’s her boyfriend or something… He’s holding the kids and he’s in every single fucking video!” 

He had only found out about your youtube channel and your twice a week vlog uploads because one of the guys had shown him, none of them had even known that you had been pregnant when the two of you broke up, but when they saw the babies, they immediately knew that they were Felixs kids. He became a regular viewer, and he had even created a fake account just to follow your channel so he’d be notified when you uploaded. 

It was the only way he was able to see his kids, he was too ashamed to try to reach out to you, and you had done so well with working while you were pregnant and saving up money that you didn’t even ask him for help. Now that your Youtube channel had taken off, you were making more money and you seemed happy and that destroyed him. 

“Dude… Why don’t you just call her up and ask her who it is? I mean, they’re your kids, you have the right to know who’s around them…” Hyunjin groaned, watching the video on the screen be rewound for the hundredth time so Felix could once again try to make out the mystery man just by his blurred back. “This is ridiculous… You’ve been watching her videos for a whole year… It’s giving stalker vibes.” 

“Shut up, everyone watches her videos. You’re not calling them stalkers.” Felix mumbled, leaning forward until he was almost halfway off the couch and slowing down the video before pushing play again. “What if he’s an idol… What if he’s like… One of us, and she can’t show him because it’s against company rules. I haven’t heard anyone talk about her though… I know a lot of people… Fuck!” 

“Yeah but people that watch aren’t acting like you.” Hyunjin retorted, rolling his eyes as Felix got on his knees in front of the tv now, his face practically against the screen. “For fucks sake, just fucking text her and ask. The worst she could do is tell you to fuck off… Which honestly wouldn’t be far fetched considering the way you were… But still.” Felix paused the video once more only to look at Hyunjin over his shoulder, his eyes narrowed at his hyung. “Don’t even… You’ve literally been watching your kids grow up through a screen. Just… fucking try to set something up so you can at least meet them. It’s kind of pathetic that you’re doing all this.” 

Felixs eyes rolled as he turned back towards the screen, now focused on his son and daughter, both of them being held by the blurred man in each of his arms, their smiling, freckled faces looking at the camera that was directed towards them. He had missed so much, but in some way, the videos made him feel like he was still there, he was still a part of their lives in some way, even from a distance. It’s all he had. “What am I supposed to do? Run back to her house and try to apologize? I said awful things, Hyunjin… I can’t take those things back. Let me at least have this.” 

Hyunjin sighed heavily, running his hands over his face before looking down at his phone. “It’s 2 in the morning, Felix. At least do this shit when you’ve had some sleep. Your eyes are barely even open.” And, knowing that Felix wouldn’t move unless someone else moved him, Hyunjin got up off the couch and yanked Felix up off the floor. “And think about what I said… It would be way better than doing this every single night.” 

//

“You’re bringing them in today, right?” Your boyfriend asked as you sat between both of the kids' highchairs, taking turns making train sounds as you fed them their morning oatmeal. You eyed him curiously. You had never brought the babies into the office, you never felt the need to, plus, nobody knew about them, nobody even knew that you and your boyfriend had been together for an entire year now. Everything was kept under wraps to protect him and the children. 

“And why would I do that?” You mused, your eyes still darting between the kids to make sure none of them were spitting up their breakfast. He simply shrugged, but you saw the glint in his eyes, he was up to something. “They’re not old enough to be trainees yet, and I don’t even know if I want them to live that kind of lifestyle. You see how hard it is.” You were being honest, but you also knew that that wasn’t what he was thinking of at all, and usually when you said something so off the wall ridiculous, he’d quickly correct you and tell you what he was really thinking, and that’s exactly what happened. 

“I don’t want them to be idols either. I want them to be happy and not have to hide from cameras all the time. I want them to be able to date… When they’re old enough, and not have to worry about scandals and rumors. I want them to be able to live their lives normally.” He agreed, pulling out the chair next to your daughter and lifting her bib to wipe her chin. “I want the guys to meet them, I want management to meet them. If they say anything, I don’t really care. I love you three, and I’m tired of things being so secretive. I want to be shown in your vlogs. I’m tired of everyone assuming I’m Felix because the kids look like him.” 

You snorted loudly, drawing the attention of the kids beside you who both tried to mimic the noise you had made. “I think that’s the craziest thing you’ve said all week.” You joked, but he was serious, and you could tell by the look he was giving you. “Babe, I love you, and I’d love to be able to show you in the videos… But do you know how much backlash you and the group would get? I can’t do that.” You explained, scraping the last bit of oatmeal out of their bowls and feeding it to them before cleaning them up and letting them out of their chairs to go play. 

“What are you talking about? Fans love watching us with kids, they live for it. We could get so much footage of not only me with the babies, but the other guys too. The fans will go crazy in a good way!” He tried to reason, and you knew he wasn’t exactly wrong. That’s why BabyClouds channel had so many views and so many subscribers. People really did love watching their biases in domestic situations like that. “Plus, I already told the managers that I was bringing in a couple people today that I wanted them to meet, and they cleared their schedule a bit to meet you guys.” 

You huffed loudly, running your hands over your face. “Do they know exactly who they’re meeting, or did you just say someone?” You asked, and he pursed his lips, averting his gaze. “You’re throwing me and the babies into the lions den… What the frick?” He chuckled lightly at your censored curse, he thought it was adorable. “It’s not funny. You said it yourself that you didn’t want them being followed by cameras, and if the world finds out that it’s you in my videos, they’ll never leave you, me, or the babies alone.” 

He reached across the table, grabbing your hands and giving them a light squeeze. “You’re thinking too hard about all this. Just go get ready, I’ll watch them while you do, and then I’ll help you get them ready so we can go up there. Everything is gonna be fine. I wouldn’t do this if I didn’t think it would be okay.” He brought your knuckles up to his lips, pressing kisses along each of them before lowering them back down to the table. 

“Felix is gonna find out…” You muttered, drumming your fingers on the table nervously. “I’m trying to protect your friendship. If he knew…” You trailed off. He didn’t care, he didn’t care about anything other than you and the kids. It was exactly what you wanted in a partner, and it was still shocking sometimes to see just how much he stepped up to fill that spot. “What if they get mad?” 

He shook his head, getting out of his chair to stand beside you, slipping his finger under your chin and tilting your head up to look at him. “They won’t… And even if they do, you and the kids are worth more than being a star. This…” He looked around the house, the floor littered with toys, stains on the carpet from spilled bottles, scribbled out drawings that hung on the fridge like the most priceless paintings… “This is what matters, this is what I want.” 

You blinked a few times, your vision blurring with unshed tears as you looked up at the man that you absolutely loved with your entire heart. “You’re amazing… you know that right? God, I love you.” He chuckled softly, leaning forward to press his lips to yours, his thumb gripping your chin lightly to keep you from pulling away too soon. 

By the time your lips disconnected, you were breathless and slightly dizzy, not even wanting to open your eyes, but his voice brought you back down from cloud nine. “Go get ready, baby. I’ll watch the kids while you do.” 

//

There was something big going on in the industry, so big in fact, that the heads of the companies themselves were said to have been talking about it. It was nothing solid though, at least, not that Felix or the rest of the guys have heard. In the grand scheme of things, when it comes to big news, groundbreaking information… the idols don’t hear much until it’s either about to come out, or when it’s already been released. 

This case was no different, other than the fact that the people who did know were much more tight lipped about whatever it was that they knew. That didn’t stop tiny bits of information from coming through the cracks, making their way into Felixs ears in passing. A company war, was all Felix had heard though, and sadly, those words gave him more questions than answers. 

At first, Felix thought it would be another Kingdom situation, but that didn’t make any sense to him after giving it a bit more thought. They hadn’t been told about something like that, and usually all the companies involved would be promoting it. None of that was going on, and whenever he caught wind of this apparent war between the companies, it seemed more serious than a tv show. 

“BigHit Ent. Yeonjun finally reveals secret life… And it is Adorable!” It hadn’t been top news, but it was close enough that Felix didn’t have to scroll too far down his home page to see the headline. The picture that went along with the story was just a promotional photo of Yeonjun, so Felix was intrigued, wondering what it was that his friend was upto that he finally “revealed”. Felix could only assume that it was another pet, probably something like a Guinea pig or something, so he clicked the link, letting out a yawn as it loaded in. 

The internet seemed to be going brutally slow, almost like it was done on purpose, but once the page had loaded in, Felix cursed himself for not taking time to mentally prepare for what it was that he saw. A screenshot image of the blurred out man from your vlogs had an arrow pointing directly to a selfie of Yeonjun, as if saying that he was the guy in your vlogs that Felix had been working so hard to identify. 

That was impossible though… He and Yeonjun were close friends, and he was sure that Yeonjun would tell him something like that if it were the case, not exactly that he was dating you and parenting his children… But he would have at least heard something along the lines of him being in a relationship and being a father type figure… Right? It must have been clickbait, it had to be clickbait. 

So he scrolled down, his heart already frozen in his chest before seeing anything. He didn’t know what he’d do if it wasn’t clickbait… Was there even anything that he could do? Taking a deep breath, he pushed play on the video that seemed to take forever to buffer. Of course, an ad came first, giving him time to breathe a bit more before the video actually started. It also gave him time to think more, panic more. Would it be an actual statement or just some video that looks like a fan edit? 

When the ad ended, it was a black screen, and then it faded into Yeonjun, sitting in the room that he and the other guys usually did live streams in. Was he going to actually admit it? Was he going to say it himself? The managers actually agreed to this? “I’m sure everyone has seen the statement issued from the company, but I just wanted to come on here and say it myself.” He said, and Felix tried to remember if he had ever seen a statement at any point from BigHit. He was sure he hadn’t read anything, he would have texted him or called him if he had. 

Yeonjun talked for a good bit, and Felix was barely even listening, still trying to rake his brain for any memory of a statement or any paparazzi pictures of you and Yeonjun together. There had been nothing. The two of you were either really good at hiding it, or the image at the top pointing to the blurred man in your vlogs was in fact clickbait and Yeonjun was with someone completely different. Felix would feel a lot better if that were the case. But then his eyes focused back on his screen when he saw movement just above the desk, as if someone was walking over. 

“I guess he wanted to introduce himself first…” Yeonjun chuckled as he lifted the freckled tot onto his lap, gently grabbing his wrist and making him wave at the camera. There was no denying it, and even if he were to still attempt to say that wasn’t his son, you soon came into view as well, holding your daughter who looked identical to the boy, a spitting image of Felix himself, but the longer he looked, the more your features came into focus. The twins were a beautiful mixture of the both of you… breathing, living proof that at one point in time, the two of you loved each other. 

You looked happy, and while that should make Felix happy, it did quite the opposite. How could Yeonjun, how could you do something like this to him? You knew that he and Yeonjun were close, you had been backstage for many shows and seen the interactions between the two of them. How was he supposed to continue being friends with the guy when he knew that Yeonjun was not only with you, but being a father to Felixs kids that he hadn’t even been able to meet. 

“I’m so happy that the company allowed me to introduce them and show you this part of my life. These three are the most amazing people, and I’m honored that Y/N allowed me into her life. Now that everyone knows, it’ll make it so much easier for Y/N to post her vlogs, and you all can see what the four of us get up to in our daily lives.” Yeonjun explained, and Felix couldn’t handle it anymore. He couldn’t continue listening to his so-called friend talk about how he loved living out the life that should be Felixs. 

He swiped off of the tab, his teeth gritted together as he stared at the ceiling. It felt like an attack, one so vicious that he couldn’t fully stomach the fact that it was coming from you. It was the breaking point though. He had gone long enough sitting back and trying to live vicariously through your vlogs, trying to put himself in the place of the blurred man in your videos. He was going to see you… But he had one thing to handle first. 

///

“Tell the guys that me and the babies said hi.” You said from the couch, your head turned to look over your shoulder at Yeonjun as he stood behind you, his eyes bright and his smile wide as he looked between you and the children that he had come to call his own. 

The two of you felt much more at ease now considering the fact that an entire week had gone by and nothing had happened, at least nothing that Yeonjun and yourself had truly been worried about. The fans were far more supportive than you both, and the company, thought they would be, and while there were a handful of weirdos that were now photoshopping their faces onto yours in your new vlogs, there were no actual threats. The biggest worry had been Felix though, and there’s been no word from him at all, so the two of you were just hoping that he either didn’t see it, or that it had been long enough since he had walked out that he realized it would be ridiculous for him to pretend to give a damn about what was going on now. 

“I always do, babe.” Yeonjun murmured, leaning in to press a kiss to your lips, the small peck gradually growing deeper and more passionate as his hands moved from gripping the back of the couch to cupping your face and keeping you close to him. “I’ll be home before dinner. Don’t miss me too much.” He winked at you, causing you to roll your eyes before he stepped around the couch to crouch down on the floor, pressing kisses to the top of the twins heads. “Be good for momma, I’ll bring you home candy if you are.” 

“Junie… No candy…” You whined, pushing yourself up off the couch to follow him to the door, grabbing his bag for practice and handing it to him with a pout. “They hate having their teeth brushed, and the more candy you give them, the higher their chances for cavities and I don’t want them to have to go through all that.” You explained, and Yeonjun sighed softly, leaning his forehead against yours, and through that you could feel him vibrating with silent laughter. 

“Fine… No candy…” He relented, his hands gripping your hips. “I’ll get ice cream on the way home and I’ll brush their teeth before bed.” He squeezed your hips, turning your protest into a quiet squeal and he took the opportunity to quickly back out the front door. 

As Yeonjun made his way down the hall to the practice room, he saw the other four guys standing awkwardly against the wall, their eyes trained on him as if they were expecting him, but there wasn’t a good feeling that came along with their looks, not at all. “What’s up?” Yeonjun asked, glancing around at all of them, their lips tightly drawn together as they all looked at the practice room door that was left cracked open, but not enough to see inside. “You’re not gonna tell me?” Yeonjun quizzed, and the guys all kept their mouths shut and their heads low as he finally walked by them with a shake of his head into the practice room. 

“You know, I’m not one to fight.” The voice that was so obviously familiar came from the far corner of the room and Yeonjun quickly turned in that direction to see Felix standing against the wall, his arms crossed but his eyes boring into Yeonjun like lasers. “And I don’t really want to fight now… I just want to know why. Why her? Why my family?” Yeonjun knew this conversation was coming, he knew that he’d have to have this talk with Felix at some point… He just didn’t think it would be happening now. 

“Felix…” Yeonjun whispered, trying to keep things calm, which was especially hard to do considering the daggers that Felix was giving him from across the room. “It’s not easy to explain… And I really don’t think either of us have the time for this kind of talk. Maybe we should wait a little bit to talk about this, when you’ve calmed down a bit.” 

Felixs eyes widened and he took a small step forward. “I’m calm… I’m super calm. And I’ve got all the time in the world right now to hear your explanation. So just humor me… Lie to me… Tell me something because I need to know why the hell you thought I’d be okay with this.” There was no security team around, there was no one but those two in the room right now. No one thought things would get violent, and Yeonjun was hoping for the same… But it seemed like Felix wasn’t going to let things go, not right now. 

“I never thought you’d be okay with it because honestly I didn’t think that you’d care.” Yeonjun spoke truthfully, running his hand through his hair. “I never intended on dating her out of respect for you… But when I heard about the way you left, the things that you said… I decided that I shouldn’t care about the emotions of someone who clearly never cared in the first place. I did what made me happy, and it makes her and the kids happy too.” 

“You don’t know my emotions… You don’t know how I felt… How I’m feeling now.” Felix stammered, and Yeonjun sighed loudly as he rolled his eyes. “You saw us at the shows, you saw how much I love her, you know I do. I was stressed from a tour when that happened, I was jet lagged and I was exhausted when she told me. I didn’t mean anything that I said that day, and I relive it constantly… So don’t tell me that I didn’t care… I don’t want to hear that shit.” Felixs voice gradually grew louder as he spoke, and Yeonjun was quickly realizing that this was a bad idea, that he should have gotten someone to come in here with him as soon as he saw that it was Felix standing in the room waiting for him. 

“You’ve been silent for two years. Don’t tell me that you regret saying those things now that you find out that someone else is in her life and fathering the children that you said you’d rather have had aborted.” Felix winced when his words were thrown back at him, but Yeonjun wouldn’t stop, not there. “You prioritized your career, and I’m not going to belittle you for that because that’s what most people in our position would do… But don’t come in here yelling at me and trying to pick a fight because I decided to prioritize the family that you kicked to the curb. I didn’t care about what could have happened when I came out about it because my family comes before this job.” 

Felixs head lowered, shame evident in his body language. “I’m sorry…” He muttered, his cheeks hollowed as he sucked them in, trying to hold in his sniffles. “You care a lot… And they deserve that… And I can see that you’re… happy… Being with them.” It was hard for him to say these things, to speak the truth that he didn’t even want to believe in himself. “I still want to meet them though… the kids… I want to see them… If that’s okay…” He couldn’t bring his voice above a whisper, and Yeonjun slowly walked over to Felix and wrapped an arm around his shoulder to try to comfort him, because even though the situation in itself was awkward… He still sympathized with his friend, he still wanted to be there for him. 

“And no one will stop you from seeing them. I know they’re yours, and Y/N knows that you have the right to see them as well. She just didn’t want to bother you while you were working, and she wasn’t going to take you to court. We talked about it a lot and we came to the conclusion that you’d either come around and ask to see them, or you’d just move on and pretend that it never happened. I’ll ask her which day is good and I’ll let you know, okay? She’s got a doctors appointment coming up though, so maybe next week would be better.” Yeonjun explained, trying to remember the schedule for this week off the top of his head, but Felix tilted his head to the side, concern filling his eyes as he looked up at Yeonjun, who simply laughed at his reaction. “She’s fine, don’t worry. I didn’t want to tell anyone… She didn’t want anyone to know yet… But we’re expecting…” 

“Expecting what?” Felix quizzed, backing out from under Yeonjuns arm, his eyes narrowed now and his eyebrows furrowing. “Is she sick or something?” He pressed, and Yeonjun was momentarily confused before shaking his head, the smile on his face sign enough that whatever was going on wasn’t awful, at least not in the morbid sense. 

“She’s pregnant…” Yeonjun stated, and he watched Felix go through many emotions in such a short amount of time, like rolling a dice, and instead of landing on the side where Felix would congratulate Yeonjun on the news, he was angry. “Felix!” Yeonjun called out the name when the boy stormed past him, throwing open the practice room door. 

“Screw this! You get my kids and a kid of your own! And you’re gonna stand here and act like you actually care about the way I’m feeling! You’ve taken everything away from me!” Felix shouted, and the guys in the hall all stood just outside the door to watch, their jaws slack and their eyes wide as they listened. 

“I didn’t take shit from you!” Yeonjun shouted back, throwing his hands in the air, in complete disbelief at the sudden turn. “You didn’t want this life, you turned your back on it, so don’t get pissed when someone else gladly steps in and lives it for you!” 

Felix scoffed, his hand balled into a fist against the door that he was holding open. “You’ll never have what we had… I’ll always be the father of her first children… And I’m back… And I’m not turning my back on it anymore. I’m ready to live that life… So you better be ready for me to be there all the time.” 

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@randomwimp @silentreadersthings @cutiespaghetti @furiousheartpoetry @its-hannjisung @lixpixstix

[muffinpink02]

Woah woah woah, I saw your post with the other stories your writing. What and who are the other stories about?when will they be released? i love all your works, especially the Alexia ones!

Okay, this is my WIP’s

You Taste Like Vanilla - ft Jenni & reader - Summary - You piss off Jenni, so she takes it out on you in smut. Half way to finishing. Smut 18

Queen Of Hearts - ft Alexia & reader, Ingrid, Mapi, Lucy, Ona - Summary - it's 1700’s times (think game of thrones)  you’re a princess, Ingrid's your bestie. Alexia is a spanish acquaintance, (also a royal)  she's a bit of a player but you want her, she maybe wants you and lots of drama. I've started it but it might be a big story so it will take me a while. Smut 18 

Bronze is better than gold - if you know, you know. smut 18 

Taking your crown part 2 - Summary - reader goes to Barcelona, meets Alexia and….I don't want to give too much away. Got a bit of this done, just under half way. Smut 18 

Coffee** shop - ft  Mapi & reader - Summary - You get a job with Mapi, she's a big flirt, your current partner is a dick, does Mapi sway your mind? Some appearances from the Barca girls. Got a lot done but a lot more to go. Smut 18 

Cancellation - ft Mapi & reader - Summary - you and Mapi make a double booking for a cabin. Smut 18 halfway finished.

Hands - Alexia & reader - Summary - not much, just you loving Alexia's hand and what she does with them. Smut 18. Nearly done 

Baby Putellas - Alexia & reader - Summary - reader is pregnant, Alexia is protective, cute and all that fluff. It's more me trying to work on my fluff. No smut. Nearly done. 

Truth Or Dare - reader and barca girls, but mostly Alexia - only got the title but smut 18 

Paddle Board - anon request - nearly done! may be out today tomorrow, maybe a day later... smut 18

Stories I havent started but will…

Like a Virgin part 2 

Guess who part 2 

It's not what you know, it's who you know part 2 

My request - I have a request in my inbox that i really want to do (Lucy and reader captain armband) I love it and I really want to do it, but I know I’m taking a long time so please let me know if you want to ask someone else, I won't be annoyed! 

The request for Lucy and Alexia - (champions league final one, Lucy under pressure) again love it, may actually start this one soon, because i'm a slag for these two women and really want to try to do these two sooner than later. 

I have another request in my inbox Lucy and reader (black slit dress) again really want to do this, I could maybe be quicker with this one but not sure when i'll start, but again if you can't wait and want to ask someone else let me know.

With request I wont know when I can get these done, as you can see I’m a bit of a serial jumper to different stories. So for now I can't promise to get any future requests done. But feel free to jump in my asks, sometimes it helps me when I see a new story. Also guys I'm a slow writer, I don’t like rushing, and when I do I never like the end product so please bear with me.

And also thank you for all the love on here, I love hearing what you guys have to say, always feel free to jump in for a chat or any questions,

[jxckchxmpi0n]

Ethan Landry as spiderman headcannon

I'm thinking about Ethan as Spiderman ♡

The idea of Ethan as Spiderman makes me giggle.

did not proof read. |m.list

I start college in 4 weeks but more into my dorm in 2 😵‍💫🤮

Ethan would keep it a secret for as long as he could but one night, he forgot you were coming over, so he was messing around in his suit when you walked in, and he almost shot you with his web.

You yelled at him like a mother, and anytime you would make some smart comment about being a hero, he would hit you with the "Okay, MOOMM"

There would be some nights where if he got hurt pretty badly, he would go to your bedroom window. you would already have the first aid kit on your bed and the window unlocked, waiting for him.

After you found out about his spider side you begged him to take you swinging around the city, but he would say no for weeks until he realized you won't stop asking.

"I'm telling you this now, don't open your mouth unless you want to eat bugs for dinner."

"Yeah, yeah I'll survive bug boy."

When he started to get noticed by the public and people made merch he would 100% buy it and make you and him match when it was movie night

If it was a slow night in crime he would go to your place with wildflowers and tell you his favorite crimes he's stopped

When you guys' hangout he gets bored sometimes so he would start throwing your things and shoot them and web them to your ceiling and see how long it would take you to notice

His favorite thing is when you're across the room and he wants attention from you he would shoot his web across the room around your waist and pull you towards him.

Some nights when you clean his cuts when it's really bad you don't warn him you are cleaning it, so he yelps and slaps your hand away. "OW! that hurt what the hell y/n!"

"Oh, shush bug boy you are fine."

Some days you wanted him to set aside the spider-man persona and be Ethan for one night. Halfway through, it ends up in him running into an ally and swinging through the buildings while you watched.

He would walk around your room... like walk around! Walls and ceiling just walk around like it's normal.

If you were busy doing homework at your desk and he was on your bed, he would crawl on your ceiling and hang over you, wondering when you'd be done. "Are you don't yet?!"

You look up and see his face a few inches away. "No, I'm not, I'm sorry, but I need this to be done tonight, or I won't get it done at all!"

He leaves web messages around town for you.

He let's you play with his web shooters

He left a suit at your house and came over one day to you, trying it on. "Baby- what- what are you doing"

You freeze. "WHAA NOTHING"

He laughs and holds your face "God you're so adorable!" He then kisses your face everywhere.

Sometimes, he lets you be the man woman in the chair.

Making spiderman themed bracelets. He never takes it off!

He would 100% start teaching you fighting moves just because crime has gotten worse

He makes you carry pepper spray which back fired-

He thought it would be funny to scare you one day but you had the pepper spray and you sprayed him

"Ahhhhhhhh OWWW WHAT THE HELL"

You couldn't help but feel terrible at first but once he healed he just acted like a baby.

"I though I'd never see again!"

When he's swinging around town and he see that you see him he waves aggressively.

Even though he's a spider when he sees one he still freaks out.

"Y/N THERES A SPIDER ON YOUR WALL!!!! ITS BIG A GROSS!!!!" He stood on you bed scared.

"Now what did we say? No talking about yourself like that!" He threw a pillow at you while you laughed.

When he catches another criminal he ends up break dancing in his suit.

There is no doubt in the world that this boy would go shopping but mid spree his spider tingles when off and he came home without the food.

"DID YOU FORGET THE FOOD AGAIN???"

He makes uses his webs in school. You don't like when he does but sometimes he does it for you. "Ughh there's only one muffin left" you were close to the end of the line.

He looks around and stretched his arm out activating the webs. He grabbed the muffin and before you can fully blink he put it in your hand. "Love you"

Talks way too much when fighting

Dances in the middle of fighting

Gaslights the criminal

"Oh no not knives please it's my worst fear" he falls covering his face.

"Yeah that's right punk-" he shot his webs ans then just used the robber as shooting practice.

100% makes "pew pew pew" noises when he shoots his webs

[obsessivestar]

'What If It's All A RomCom?' - a Ted Nivison x Reader

{{-Fun fact about this chapter: I had to rewatch the beginning of Ted's Rainforest video because I wanted my description of the L.A. Rainforest Cafe to be accurate lmao you're welcome-}}

//General Warnings: 18+ Fix (MINORS DNI), Reader is implied to be afab and under 5'5

//Chapter Warnings: Suggestive conversation in the truck? I guess?

Word Count: 4.6k (I need to slow the fuck down lmao)

☆▪︎▪︎▪︎Taglist!▪︎▪︎▪︎☆

@k-k0129 , @callsign-scully & @limecorpse

☆Love Ya To Death!☆

Chapter 17: The Rainforest Cafe

Another 2 days pass and before I know it, we're halfway through the 2nd week. Everyone's been talking about how fast these weeks have been flying by and I mean, we only have about one and a half yet, but I don't know. These weeks have felt a lot longer to me, in a good way! I've enjoyed my time with everyone. Joe, Tanner, Dan, Ted and I have all developed a closeness I wasn't anticipating when I agreed to help with this project. I guess I was already pretty close with Joe and Tanner before this, but we all lived pretty far from each other. It's nice to be able to see them everyday again, like old times. Dan absolutely fits right in, too. I feel like I've known him for a lot longer than just 2 and a half weeks. Turns out, we're into almost the exact same things and he's super chill. He still occasionally apologizes to Ted and I for nearly throwing a football at my head, but it's honestly just funny to think about it now. It's become an inside joke in the friend group.

And then there's Ted. Wonderful, beautiful, fantastic Ted. We're only getting closer and closer as this project goes on. Our chemistry on camera is about as genuine and magnetic as it is off camera, you can see how it grows when we look back on footage from last week, especially comparing the recent kiss scene from yesterday to the first one Ted and I did. That's certainly going to be strange to think about, knowing our very first kiss was filmed. That, and it's going to be on the big screen of a theater, for potentially hundreds of students to view...

And it's probably going to be graded.

Oh christ, our first kiss is going to be graded.

Tanner better get a perfect mark...

Everything's just been...really good these last couple days. Every morning I'd wake up with Ted, it was practically a crime if I were to try and sleep in my own room now. If I stayed in my room for too long the night before, he'd begin knocking on my wall again, just like the first night we stayed at this place. He wouldn't call me, he wouldn't text, he wouldn't come and knock on the door, no. He'd stay in his room and knock on the wall until I caved. He didn't knock anything in Morse code this time, I checked. Guess he only knows how to spell 'cunt'. Jackass.

We'd usually head downstairs for breakfast together and begin filming as soon as we're ready. We filmed 3 more kiss scenes, practically all done on the first take. I had overheard one member of the wardrobe team make a comment about how Ted an I were 'naturals' at this, but it didn't bother me. Didn't seem to bother Ted, either.

At this rate, it's only our fan's and the general public that don't know about our relationship and Ted wants to keep it that way for the rest of the month. I was initially fine with that, but as the days have gone on, it's been a little challenging. I want to post all of the pictures I've taken of us and the group, I wanna put his stupid smile on my Instagram story, I want to show everyone that I bagged Ted fucking Nivison, but I understand where he's coming from, I guess. Despite how far we've gone and how close we are, we've technically only been together for a few days, a week at most. Hard launching this relationship now could take away from the work we're supposed to be doing. I know for a fact I'd get caught up on what our fans think of this, I'm already expecting some sort of backlash simply for being around him. Maybe he's expecting it too, that could be why he's so antsy about it. Either way, he'll have to get over it a little faster than he probably expected to.

As we help clean up downstairs, Tanner makes an interesting suggestion related to the game nights we've been having with Joe and Dan. He wants to play Jackbox again, but he wants to stream it. Tanner started streaming around the time he started college as a fun little side hustle. He's got a comfortably sized fan base of his own, he thought it'd be fun to get the 5 of us on one stream, while we're all still together. He had already talked to Joe and Dan about it and I loved the idea, but Ted wasn't too sure. The three of us started talking about it as I got my makeup done for the day.

"I mean, we don't have to use a facecam if that's what you're worried about.." Tanner spoke, standing at one side of me while Ted stood at the other, making sure not to get in the makeup artists way.

"No, that's not...they'd probably recognize my voice anyways." Ted sounded quite unsure. It was a tone I wasn't really familiar with him having, he's always been rather confident since we've been here. I suppose it was about time I started to see new sides of him. I don't mind it.

"Are you worried I'm using you for views? I promise I'm not. That's just a convenience." Tanner frowned a little, adjusting his glasses.

"No, Tanner--God, you sound like Tucker.." A slight chuckle bubbled out of Ted, bringing his finger and his thumb up to adjust his glasses. "I..."

"It's about me." I decide to speak up, making sure to stay still for the makeup artist. I can tell by the exhale that left Ted that he felt a little bad, but there's no sense in hiding it, I'm part of this conversation too. "He doesn't want his fans to know about me until the end of the project."

"Okay, well, there's a better way to phrase it.." Ted let's out a huff, running his fingers through his tall hair.

"They don't know?" Tanner almost sounded amused by this, a little smirk curling up his mouth.

"Tanner, it's been only 2 weeks, dude." Ted begins to smirk a bit as well, but based on the way his hand is pressing down on the makeup counter, I can tell this conversation is making him anxious. "I'm just--"

"Yeah, but it's also been, like, 2 years." Tanner cut Ted off with a slight scoff, leaning against the counter a bit as well. "You've talked about wanting to meet her for 2 years.."

"Not to my fans."

"Since when do you worry about your fans?"

"I don't--I'm not, I'm just saying--"

"You guys basically have the same fan's anyways.."

"I know, it's not like I don't want to show her off--"

"You wouldn't need to 'show her off', it's just us playing a game, as friends."

"I'm not saying I'd have a problem with that, Tanner, she's--"

"Okay, can we stop talking about me like I'm not here?" I once again cut in on the conversation, sort of raising my hands up to diffuse the tension. If I don't stop them now, they'll keep going. Ted's gonna wanna keep defending himself and Tanner's gonna keep asking questions. It's not that he's trying to pressure Ted, I know that, he just gets antsy when he doesn't understand something. He's also probably worried about my feelings. They're both making some good points, but I would ultimately like Ted to join us for this stream.

"Tanner, I'm alright with this, I promise." I can't turn my head to look at Tanner, but I give a little gesture with my hand so he knows I'm addressing him. "It wouldn't make sense to drop our relationship now, I don't want to take away from this film. We're here for you, not for each other." I can sort of see out of the corner of my eye that Tanner has relaxed a bit, so I lower my one hand and raise the other to now address Ted.

"At the same time, I'd really like you there." I speak to Ted, giving him a little point. "I think it'd be a good thing. I mean, wouldn't it make sense for us to be seen hanging out as friends before we reveal anything? At least that way it's not very sudden." I glance down at the counter to see Ted's grip relax a bit, a quiet sigh leaving him.

"...You're really not worried at all, huh?" Ted spoke up after a small bit of silence, taking his hand off the makeup counter to cross his arms in front of his chest.

"No, I have nothing to worry about, I don't really care." I admit with a slight chuckle and shrug. "The only opinions I care about are the opinions of the people that sleep here every night. You, Tanner, Joe and Dan."

"Y'know we're not gonna be able to flirt? Like at all?" Ted smirks at me.

"That's fine."

"No kissing? No nicknames?"

"I'm perfectly fine not doing that in front of the camera, Ted."

"We can't even cuddle. No cuddling. You cool with that?"

"We didn't even cuddle last time we played Jackbox."

"We kinda did. A little."

"Barely."

"We almost kissed."

"Key word there is 'almost', just don't."

"Yeah, but I'll want to kiss you. It's gonna suck." Ted let's out a playful whine.

"Don't.." I chuckle, shaking my head a little. "We won't be 'together' when we play Jackbox on stream."

"We weren't together last time we played Jackbox."

"Exactly, we'll just act the same way."

I hear another exhale leave Ted, a heavier one this time. I get a brief moment where I can turn to look at him. The moment our eyes meet, he relaxes and gives me a warm smile.

"Alright...I'm in.." He finally concedes and I hear an excited little 'Yes!' from Tanner, who quickly scurries away to go tell Joe and Dan the good news. I can't help but laugh, but quickly go still again when the makeup artist needs me to remain still for lipstick. As I'm looking at myself in the mirror, I feel Ted come around to stand behind me, placing his hands on my shoulders before kneeling down a little to speak into my ear.

"No idea how you do that, but it's pretty hot.." He purrs quietly, that stupid grin spread along his lips.

"Do what? Not give a shit?" I can't help but chuckle as I whisper back, being careful not to move my lips too much. I can't imagine what the makeup artist is thinking, nor do I care.

"Mhmm, it's enticing.." He purrs again, glancing at the makeup artist as she grabs a different tool for my eye makeup.

"Enticing? That's the word you're going with today?" I ask, keeping my eyes on him through the mirror.

"Well, I could just say it's sexy, but...feels too basic for you.."

"...are you really trying to seduce me right now?"

"Yeah.."

"While I'm getting my makeup done? Really?"

"Always.."

"Can I get Ted Nivison to set, please?" I hear a member of the film crew call for him, a little laugh leaving me at the disappointed expression that spreads onto Ted's handsome face.

"Yeah, Ted Nivison to set, please.." I whisper back with a grin. A scoff leaves Ted as he stands up straight.

"If you weren't in this chair, I'd spank you."

"Promises, Promises.."

"Yeah yeah, you'd like that."

"You'd like that."

"Cunt."

"Prick."

Ted snickers to himself as he moves away to head into the other room. I get a look from the makeup artist, which honestly just makes me laugh. Our dynamic must be so strange to these people.

Once she's done my makeup, I'm finally able to stand up and join Ted over by the camera's. We'd be filming the last of the kissing scenes today so we could spend the rest of the week on the ballroom dream sequence. Getting to kiss Ted all day? The perfect day, absolutely the perfect day.

Or...it would've been, anyways.

We get maybe a few takes in before the power suddenly goes out. Not just in the living room, but throughout the entire building. It caught all of us off guard, it wasn't storming or anything outside, it was a clear day, but it was like something just shot within the breaker. Without power, we don't have proper lighting, some of the cameras won't work and we can't even cook. We spend the next few hours of the day trying to contact the owners of the airbnb and the power companies in the area. We get nothing back until it's later in the afternoon, where we find out the power likely won't be on until the day is over. Thank god Tanner overbooked this airbnb, we can afford to lose one day of filming.

The film crew heads home early for the day, leaving the 5 of us here to figure out what we're gonna do for dinner, especially since everything in the kitchen is off, the fridge included. We can't even do the livestream now, the power won't be on until around 8pm, at least that's what we were told. We all sat in the living room on the couch, all of us using data on our phones to find what we were going to order. It was going to be pricey, even if we all pitched in for one thing.

"Anyone feeling like Chinese food?.." Tanner speaks up, looking up from his phone to address everyone.

"I had Chinese yesterday, so probably not.." Dan speaks up, shaking his head a little. "We could do fish, maybe?"

"The closest fish place is like a half an hour away, it'll take forever." Joe frowns, fluffing up the back of his mullet. "I'm not waiting that long for overpriced fish, sorry."

"Do we all have to order from the same place?..." Tanner frowns slightly, sitting up more in his seat.

"It'd be cheaper that way." Joe admits with a little shrug. Ted and I have been relatively quiet during the conversation. We're both leaning back a bit into the corner of the couch, with Ted's arm around my shoulder. We're mostly quiet because we were honestly fine with anything. It's usually Joe and Tanner that are a bit pickier. This time around though, it doesn't seem like anyone can come to an agreement, and none of us feel like dropping over 30 dollars to order separately...

"Why don't we just go out to eat?" Ted speaks up after a few more minutes of everyone bickering, sitting up a bit more on the couch. "I know a place. It'd be cheaper than ordering."

I already know what he wants to suggest, letting out a gentle laugh. This again?

"Oh yeah? What spot?" Tanner curiously perks up, pushing up his glasses.

"You're gonna suggest the fucking Rainforest Cafe, aren't you?" Joe gives Ted a knowing grin, shaking his head in disbelief.

"I'm absolutely suggesting the Rainforest Cafe." Ted adds with a confident smile, giving a little point with the hand around my shoulder.

"Oh sweet, I've never been there before!" Dan's immediately enthusiastic about the idea, bouncing a little on the couch with a big grin. "We should go!"

"I can't believe you still like going there." Joe chuckles, resting his elbow on his knee. "How many did you goto last time? Like 30?"

"18. There's only 18 in North America." Ted spoke, circling a little with his hand.

"Oh yeah, you went to the one in Canada too, right?" Tanner asks, giving a slight head tilt.

"Yeah, Niagara Falls." Ted simply nods. "The one here is relatively close, it's just right in the city."

"Honestly, it's not a bad idea.." I finally speak up with a little shrug, a small smile on my face. "By the time we come back, the power would be back on..." I can't believe I'm agreeing to this, but honestly, I'll eat anything at this point, and it'd be nice to get out for a bit, I suppose.

"Alright, I'm down." Tanner gently slaps his lap as he stands up off the couch, giving Ted little finger guns.

"Yeah, alright." Joe shrugs, slipping his phone into his pocket.

With all of us in agreement, we briefly split off to grab our wallets and to change into anything different if we desire. Ted had packed the Hawaiian shirt he had bought with Eddy during their trip, because of course he did, he probably figured he'd be able to convince us all to go eventually. Dan has a bigger vehicle, so he decides to drive Tanner and Joe while Ted and I go in his Tacoma. Once we're all ready, we head out to our respective rides and pull out of the large driveway. Dan follows behind us as we drive through the suburban area to get to the city.

"Have you ever been?" Ted asks, glancing at me briefly. "To the Rainforest, I mean."

"I think I have? I don't remember." I admit with a small shrug. I couldn't recall if there was one near me growing up. Either way, I was kind of excited. Only kind of. I think I was honestly just excited to be out with Ted again. This probably wasn't a date, but it felt a bit like one, in a weird way. It's the first time we've been out since we got together. I can certainly tell he's excited to bring me, he hasn't stopped grinning since we got in the truck.

"I'll admit, I'm...kinda freakin' out a little.." Ted admits with a soft chuckle, tapping his hands on the wheel as we stop at a red light. "I've been wanting to take you here all week.."

"Really?" I felt my cheeks heat up a little at his admission, turning to look at him fully. "I honestly thought your love for the Rainforest Cafe was a bit.."

"Well, like, half of it is, kinda." Ted admits, turning his head as well to grin at me. "I just like doing things with you, especially outside of work. Like..." Ted pauses for a moment, like he's hesitating to start his next sentence. It's intriguing. "I have this thing where I like to go out and do things with my partner. That's my love language, I've learned. So...when we went out to the mall to replace your wardrobe that one day, and we went to dinner, that was the day I realized I needed to make a move. A real one."

I look a little surprised, but it makes sense. That explains why he came into my room that night. I still wonder if Tanner had actually fallen asleep in his bed that night, or if it was some whack-ass lie that he used to get into my bed. I don't really care either way, if that's the lie he needed to tell to get with me, that's fine.

"That's...really sweet, actually.." I speak up with a warm smile spread along my blushing face. "I'd be happy to have more adventures with you..."

Ted has to look back at the road when the light turns green, making the truck move down the road again. I can see the sparkles in his eyes from my words, a soft, almost suggestive grin curling the corners of his lips up. He puts one hand on the wheel so he can place his free hand on my leg, giving my thigh a little squeeze.

"You're infuriating." Ted shakes his head with a deep chuckle, gliding his tongue along the edges of his top teeth. "You gotta stop doing that, y'know.." I can immediately tell what he's thinking, and it makes me laugh.

"Seriously?" I shake my head and furrow my brows at him, a big smile of disbelief on my face. "Saying I want to have more adventures turns you on?"

"Yes, so don't do that."

"I'm trying to be sweet!"

"I know. Don't. Stop that."

"I think your libido is broken, dude."

"My libido?"

"You know what I'm saying! Your sex drive! Y--whatever! It's broken."

"It's not broken."

"It's definitely broken."

"It's just you, (Y/N), that's the problem."

"I'm the problem?"

"Yeah."

"I think you're the problem."

"Oh am I?"

"100%"

"You bein' a little brat right now? While I'm drivin' ya to the greatest restaurant of all time?"

"Yeah, okay Teddy, stay broken."

"Do I need to turn this truck around and find a spot?"

I had been looking out the window as we bickered back and forth, but that suggestive little question makes me flick my head back to him, a surprised expression on my face.

"...What's that supposed to mean?" I ask with a knowing smile, narrowing my eyes a little.

"You know what it's supposed to mean." Ted replies without missing a beat, glancing at me occasionally while keeping his eyes on the road. No way is he suggesting what I think he's suggesting...

"You don't know any spots.." I challenge him a little, tilting my head at him.

"I know a few.." Ted smirks, squeezing my thigh again while keeping his eyes on the road. "I've lived around here for a few years, (Y/N)..."

"And you've?..."

"Yeah."

"In here?"

"Back seat."

"...You're fucking with me."

"You wanna find out?..."

Oh god, I hate that. I hate that because it's actually...incredibly tempting...

"Aren't we almost there though?" I ask, referring to the Cafe. I had my phone on with my Map app open, we were basically around the corner from it by now. I get silence from Ted for a moment, watching as he taps on the wheel again at yet another red light.

"...On the way back?" He finally asks me, turning his gaze to me with a raised brow. I can see by the dark look in his eyes that he's serious. I have no idea how we'd even get away with that, Dan and the others are coming with us.

"...You're insane." I let out a breathy chuckle, turning to look out the window again. Looking into his eyes makes me nervous sometimes.

"That's not a no..." Ted purrs lowly at me and I feel his hand move slightly up my thigh, his fingers tucking in between my inner thighs. I hold in a shaky breath. God, he can read me all too well...

"There's no way you could pull that off without the others catching on." I turn to look at him again, trying to ignore how warm his hand on my thigh is making me feel.

"I could say we got lost." Ted shrugs a little, his eyes clearly flicking down to my lips. Not now, Teddy...

"You just said you've lived around here for years.." I let out a scoff, shaking my head a little.

"Dan doesn't know that." Ted adds, giving me a confident smirk. "And Tanner would believe me.."

"Joe wouldn't."

"Who cares? You've been reporting to him anyways. You wanna give him another good story?"

He's terribly convincing, and he's got that look in his eye. Like he's hungry...God fucking dammit, Teddy.

Ted has to bring his attention back to the road once more, taking his hand off of my thigh to put both hands on the wheel. "Just let me know.." He shrugs a little again, keeping that confident smirk on his face as he makes a left turn. I see the Rainforest Cafe sign come into view, I had honestly almost forgotten that's where we were headed. One of these days, I swear, we're gonna get in trouble. I don't know with who, but we will. Until then...

Ted manages to find a good parking spot close to the building, with Dan pulling up sort of across from us. We all meet up at the front of the building and I have to try and act like Ted didn't just suggest fucking in his Toyota Tacoma on the way back. Wonderful.

We all get inside and wait at the front. The place isn't terribly packed since it's a weekday, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't impressed by the atmosphere. I spotted a few animatronics as we were escorted to our table. The ceiling was covered in different foliage and pretty lights to add a sort of sparkling effect to the whole place, there was an elegant little waterfall on one side where a majority of the jungle animatronics were, but we were seated over by the aquarium, illuminating the area in a pretty blue hue. The lighting looked nice on Ted, though based on the way he was looking at me as we sat down, he's probably thinking the same about me.

We're all sat in a sort of circular booth with some chairs in front. Tanner and Dan decide to sit at the chairs so Ted, Joe and I get the comfortable leather booth seats. I'm surprised at first that Ted wants to sit next to me and not across from me, but I quickly find out why. After we tell our waiter what drinks we want, the Rainforest Cafe began to make a bunch of different noises. I hear the sounds of the elephants chirping, looking up as the lights above us begin to flash to mimic the effect of lightning, a rumbling bass surrounding the entire restaurant. We're all looking up as the faux thunderstorm flickers on, all except for Ted, whose eyes are on me and my sparkling gaze of curiosity. The fake thunderstorm is a lot louder than I thought it was going to be, the only other sounds being the low bustling of the other customers, and the slightly nervous laughter coming from Dan and Tanner.

"That's so loud!" Dan laughs a little, looking back down to us to see our own reactions. "Is it always that loud?"

"Oh yeah, we'll probably hear that like 3 more times, depending on how long we're here.." Ted had a big, excited grin on his face. I could tell he was thoroughly enjoying this already, and we hadn't even gotten our drinks. I'll admit it, I'm already kind of having a good time. I've really come to admire everyone in this group, even Dan, despite not knowing him as long. This dinner with everyone felt like a sort of mini celebration for being over half-way done with the project. I can't imagine the next time we'll all be able to get together and go out like this, probably when the film premieres, if everyone can make it down again. And Ted? Man, he looks like he's having the time of his life. I don't know if it's him or if it's the ambiance of the aquarium behind us, but his eyes are literally sparkling with wonder, especially when he turns to look at me. The last time he looked this happy was when he caught me looking at his lips in my room, he had that same proud smile, like all of his dreams were coming true. Man, he must really like me. It really makes me wish that we had met at Joe's wedding. I can't believe I've gone all this time without knowing Ted.

My dreamy thoughts are broken by a sharp gasp from Tanner, making me quickly turn a worried look to him.

"They have grilled cheese here!?" Tanner exclaims excitingly as he looks down at the menu. I let out a sigh of relief, hearing Joe, Ted and Dan start to laugh.

Man, this group is the best. I love it here.

__________________________________

Chapter 1 || Chapter 2 || Chapter 3 || Chapter 4 || Chapter 5 || Chapter 6 (smut) || Chapter 7 || Chapter 8 || Chapter 9 || Chapter 10 (smut) || Chapter 11 || Chapter 12 || Chapter 13 || Chapter 14 (smut) || Chapter 15 || Chapter 16 || Chapter 18 (smut) || Chapter 19 ||

[angelshizuka]

"I honestly think the fandom portrays stolas/blitz better sometimes… like, in fan content and such. Like it’s very similar to marinette/adrien for me, where fans make better shipping content, bc like.. in canon there’s a lot of things where it’s like. They gloss over stuff and/or don’t take advantage of clear opportunities." "We see Fizz and Ozzie being domestic and showing how they work off each other + care about with each other, and with Huskerdust, we’ve already seen them bond over things they have in common Whereas ships like stolitz I think need that kinda stuff a lot. Like, I get the show’s a slow burn, but.. even just little hints of them starting to bond would do a lot, I think"

...Serena there is not a day where I am not exposed to bad takes on the owl/lizard ship. Kill me.

As someone who's done a lot of ML salt in the past, it still feels wrong to me to compare Stolitz to Adrienette like that.

Mainly, because one of the core problems with Miraculous in general is how it's been going on for almost a decade already, with like 131 episodes and 4 specials under it's belt by now (and several more seasons confirmed), but spent so much time dicking around, resetting things to the status quo and having some of the most inconsistent lore and character writing I've seen. So, in their case, yes, it genuinely glossed over things and missed a crapton of opportinities.

But a VERY important difference with Stolitz is how Helluva Boss currently only has 18 finished episodes. They can complain about "missed opportunities" all they want and claim they "glossed over" things when the story is still being told, but that doesn't change the fact this is literally an indie animation show, not to mention literally free to watch, that has had more development in 18 episodes than Miraculous had in more than 10 dozens of episodes.

And can people for the love of Lucifer stop acting like more wholesome equels better. I love wholesome ships as much as the next person, I've got plently of those myself, but at the end of the day I'm a girl with different moods and love me some good complicated "unhealthy" ships and that's the entire point of Stolitz. To show how two people who currently have an unhealthy dynamic, try to work on it and become a so called "wholesome" couple one day, because their love for each other is true and worth fighting for.

Also, I swear, it's literally always the people complaining about "Stolitz taking over the show" that also claim they "haven't gotten enough development" (whoa, it's almost like we're not even halfway through the story yet). Like... these people do realize Stolitz needs screen time and focus to get developed, right!?

[justmeinadaze]

We're a Family Part 22 (Steddie X You)

A/N: Get ready to feel old <3. I wrote Good Neighbors a little over a year ago and I've loved how they've evolved. I'm not done with this little family yet. I still have one more chapter with Dylan and then some ideas with an older Ro but, ugh, lol I feel how the reader feels when it comes to her first born.

Warnings: Dads Steddie/ Mama Fem Reader, SMUT, edging (they are still trying new things), handcuffs, etc, FLUFF, they love each other <3 and their kiddos, ANGST, someone from the past comes back to talk to the adult Munson-Harringtons and Dylan, Steve and Eddie struggle being protective over their eldest (Eddie just hides it better), lots of talk about Dylan growing up and leaving the nest and how these three feel about it.

Word Count: 5256

An 18-year-old Dylan bounces anxiously on his toes as you sort through the mail too slow for his liking. 

“MOM! Come on! Did anything come for me or not?”

Two years had passed since you reconnected with your mother and things had been going very well. She was always extremely busy with work but when she came over Aurora insisted on showing her all the movies she missed out on. 

“Grandma! Watch how cool this is!”, the seven-year-old squeals with delight as they focus on the film in front of them. The light saber flies past Kylo-Ren into Rey’s hand and Ro breathes a sigh of excitement.

“Ok, now explain to me again how ‘the force’ works.”, yoru mom asks as she leans forward over her crossed legs on the couch. 

You grin from your spot in the kitchen as you bump Eddie’s hip with yours. 

“Definitely your daughter, nerd.”

“Takes one to know one, princess.”

James was now a toddler causing all kinds of chaos around the Munson-Harrington home. His sticky fingers got into everything even some of the cabinets that you had believed were too high for him to reach. 

“James Wayne Munson Harrington.”, you scold with your hands on your hips as you watch him lean back and laugh with a wide smile that only rivaled that of his dad. “What do you think you’re doing?”

Plopping his butt down on the counter, he dangles his legs over the side as he reaches his tiny hand into the snack box and produces a chocolate chip cookie. 

“Mama cookie…Yames.”, he coos as he points to himself while struggling to say his name correctly. 

“Mhmm. Didn’t you just eat lunch?”

“For…for mama an Rara.”

“Don’t you bribe me and your sister with sweets, you little butthead.”

“Why are you being mean to our son?”, Steve asks as he rounds the corner into the kitchen.

“Because our son parkoured up the counter for a snack.”

The three-year-old giggles as he offers his dad a cookie that he accepts before lifting him into his arms and putting the box back in the cabinet. 

“What did we say, bud?”

“Ask.”

“That’s right. You have to ask first. Now give mommy a kiss as an apology and get out of here, you butthead.”

Dylan was halfway through his senior year of high school and applied to a lot of colleges but was anxious to be accepted to a certain one because that’s where Daisy was going. The two of them had continued to date and see each other which you didn’t mind. What killed you however was that because of her family she was looking at a school that was a few states away. You had never been that far from your son and it scared you.

“I don’t know. I see bills and ads. Let me take my time to really read these though.” Dylan huffs making you smile as you give him a hug. He was so much taller than you now, your head resting against his chest as you wrapped your arms around him. “Everything’s going to be ok, weirdo. You’ll hear something soon. There’s still some time.” 

***

Steve ran his hands over his eyes exhaustedly while grading papers during his lunch. With winter break coming up, he wanted to get everything out of the way so he could take these next couple of weeks to spend some time with the kids especially Dylan. When he had mentioned going to school out of state, of course, he was proud and encouraged him to apply but he’d be lying if he didn’t say the idea of his son being so far away broke his heart.

“Stevie?”

The sound of Eddie’s voice calmed him as he smiled towards the door his husband was leaning against. 

“Hey you. What are you doing here?”

“You, uh, just started your lunch hour right?”

Steve knew that tone, something was going on that the metalhead was afraid would upset him. 

“Yeah? Everything ok?” As he turned his head towards the hall, your ex-husband stepped into view. “No. Nope. Not happening.”

“Give us a second.”, Eddie gestured towards Charlie before entering the classroom and closing the door. “Steven, calm down.”

“Calm down? Why the fuck is he here?! Whatever he wants the answer is no.”

“Baby, sit. Please? At least hear me out first.” Steve huffed as he folded his arms and pouted while Eddie sat on his desk in front of him. “I get it. Trust me I do but I felt like…for what he’s asking we should talk about it at most. He wanted to speak to us both first out of respect because we are Dylan’s dads.”

“Damn right.”

“He’s not asking to spend time with him again or anything like that. Charlie doesn’t think Dylan would even want that but… he’s asking to see him graduate.”

“Are you fucking kidding me, Edward Munson?!”, Steve practically shouts as he rises to his feet.

“Shhhh.”, the metalhead tries to calm him doing the same.

“No! He hasn’t earned that fucking right. He hasn’t been here AT ALL in over 5 years. Why is that?! Oh, that’s right, he signed him over. Charlie had plenty of chances to be there for him and he failed! WE raised him and he thinks he can just waltz back in and be a part of something like that?!”

“Steve! Breathe.”, Eddie tries to sooth as he cups his face in his hands. “Breathe. I get where you are coming from. I said all of the same things to him when he came to the shop. But… I get it from Dylan’s side to. Remember when I finally graduated? I was so excited that Wayne was there but there was still a part of me… that wished my mom and dad could see me finally do it to. A lot of that was to spite them and show them I could do it.”, he chuckled making Steve smile. “But a lot of it was also the little kid in me wanting them there.”

The man in his arms heavily exhaled before tilting forward to kiss his lips and gesturing for Eddie to bring him in.

“I warned you before, Charlie, about hurting my son. If we talk to him and he wants you there and you don’t show up…I swear to God—”

“No, no. I understand. I’ll move heaven and earth to be there I swear.”

“Yeah to bad you couldn’t do that for him or Brody before.”

“Steve.”, Eddie warned.

“No, he’s right. I always said I’d never be like my stepdad yet… I’m, um, glad he’s had you two. I’m working with Vivian to be there for Brody. I’m trying…”

“You understand if he or Y/N says no, then the answer is no?”

“Yeah, I understand. Thank you for hearing me out though. I know I don’t deserve it.”

***

Your eyes constantly raked across them during dinner while they ate. Both men seemed completely distracted but especially Steve. 

“I’m done. I’m going to go play games upstairs.”, Dylan announces as he stands from the table. 

“Ah, kid, do you mind staying for a bit?”, Eddie asked throwing the two of you off guard. “Are you done to?”, he asks Ro as she beams up at him with her messy face. 

“Yes, daddy.”

“Good. Can you take this troublemaker and go watch tv please?”, he laughs as Steve blind sides her with a napkin to wipe her mouth and the other boy pulls James out of his chair, placing him on the floor. 

Aurora grabs her brother’s hand, giggling as they run to the tv in the living room. They wait until the sound of a show blares from that area before Eddie leans forward on his elbows and Steve leans back folding his arms. 

“I don’t know how to ease into this so I’m just going to say it. Charlie came to visit me and Steve today.”

Your eyes widen as your head ticks to the side while Dylan sighs mirroring Steve’s posture. 

“Whatever it is the answer is no.”

“Y/N…please. He said all he wanted was to see Dylan graduate from high school.”

“After everything he’s done?!”

“Yeah, I already went down that road, baby, but Eddie seems to think it’s worth the conversation.”, Steve exhaled heavily. 

“Do you?”, his son asked. “What did you say when he asked?”

“I told him that it was up to you and Y/N. If you two said you were fine with it—”

“But you don’t want him there?”

Steve glances towards Eddie who gives him a look of subtle warning.

“No, I don’t.”, he answers honestly causing the metalhead to huff in frustration. “I don’t feel like he’s earned that luxury after everything he’s done and put you through. But…I also feel like it’s your choice. If you want him there then he should be there. You know no matter what, kid, you’re still my son. It won’t hurt my feelings if you want him there.”

“Our feelings.”, Eddie added. “I get what Steve is saying but I’ve been on the other side. My dad was in prison when I graduated. I was ecstatic Wayne was there but…”

Dylan’s soft eyes shift towards you as he reaches for your hand. 

“Mom?”

“I just…I don’t want him to hurt you. I don’t you to get your hopes up and then he doesn’t show.”

“Oh, don’t worry. Stevie already threatened him if he didn’t show.”, Eddie grinned making your son laugh. 

“I’d, um, I’d like to talk with him before I make a decision if that’s alright.”

***

“Baby?”, Eddie cooed as he came up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist while you leaned in the doorway of James’s room. Steve had fallen asleep in the toddler’s little racecar bed, his frame much too big for the mattress underneath as his legs hung off the side. His arm was holding the small boy to his side as he rested his sleeping head on his father’s chest. 

“Eddie, why do you think everything with Charlie affects him so much more?”

“Hm, sweetheart, it affects us both about the same but Steve here just sucks at hiding it. I love Dylan with my heart and would do anything for him. I’d be lying if I said the idea of him going to graduation doesn’t make me angry but if that’s what our son wants then I want him to be happy.” You nod at his statement, giving the man pause. “How does it make you feel? Be honest.”

“I don’t want him to go. I don’t…trust that he’ll actually show up. I feel like Steve right now where I just want to tell Dylan that we’re his parents and the answer is no so we can protect him.”

“The problem with that, my love, is you don’t know for 100% if that will be the outcome. I mean look at what happened with your mom.”

“Eddie, he’s my baby.”

“I know, babe. I know.”, he soothes as he turns you around and wraps you in his arms. 

***

“When he gets here, do you want us to leave you two alone?”, the metalhead asked as the three of them waited at a table in the nearby Hawkins Diner.

“Not like alone, alone though. We’d be a couple of tables away.”, Steve assured confidently, trying to push down all of the emotions he was feeling. 

“Can you stay, please? I’d be lying if I didn’t say I’m a little terrified.”

“Terrified how, bud? You don’t have to do this if you’re uncom—”

“Steve! Calm down, sweetheart.”, Eddie chuckles as he rubs his back comfortingly. 

Dylan reached for his father’s hand and flashed him a big smile. 

“Everything’s going to be ok, dad. No matter what you both are always going to be my real fathers.”

As they beamed over at him, a figure caught Eddie’s eye as it quickly turned to leave. 

“Hey, I’m, uh, I’m going to go smoke before he gets here. I’ll be right back.”

Throwing on his jacket, the long-haired boy hastily power walked towards the front door, opening it just in time to see Charlie heading back to his truck. 

“HEY! No. No, no, no, no.”, he shouted as he ran to block his path. “No. You are NOT doing this to him. You’re here now just get the fuck in there and talk to him.”

“I-I-I can’t. I saw him and… he looks so different now. That’s not my little boy anymore. I can’t do this. I can’t—”

Eddie abruptly shoved the man against his vehicle, cutting him off. 

“You’re right. He’s not a little boy anymore. Unfortunately, you missed that because you were too fucking selfish. Now you have a chance to be a part of his adult life if that’s what he wants but, Charlie, if you walk away now that is never going to happen. Don’t be a fucking coward. He’s a good kid.”

“Because of you two. He fucking hates me.”

“Believe it or not, he doesn’t. Dylan thinks YOU hate HIM.”

“What? No. I love him and Brody so much.”

“Then where the fuck have you been?!”, he sighs releasing him from his hold. “He’s graduating with honors and a baseball scholarship to any school he chooses. He wants to go to a school up north with his girlfriend to major in music and education so he can become a music teacher. Dylan has worked so hard to get here. Don’t ruin it with your bullshit.”

Eddie shakes his head as he saunters back inside and plops down next to Steve. 

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.”, he grins but his husband can see right through it. 

Placing his arm around the back of his chair, he leans close to his ear. 

“You’ll tell me later?”

A throat clears startling everyone as they turn to see Charlie standing beside the table. 

“Hi. Hey.”, his voice trembles as he shakes Eddie and Steve’s hands before turning to give Dylan his attention. “Hey, um, wow. Jesus. You look so much like your mom.”

“Oh. Uh, thank you. She thinks I look like you. To be fair she thinks none of her kids look like her.”

“Yeah? How many siblings do you have now?”

“Not including Brody, two. A sister and another brother.”

Your ex nods taking a seat as Dylan folds his arms over his chest. The guys were trying their best to stay as out of the way as they could while still being present for their son.

“So, uh--”

“Why do you want to come to my graduation?”, the boy asked bluntly. “My entire life you never went to anything that I was involved in and then signed me away. Why do you care?”

“I didn’t…sign you away… I just…I was never good at being a dad.”

“Why didn’t you try? Was it because of me?”

“No. God, no. Dylan, to me you were…are… absolutely perfect. I love you with all my heart. That’s why I signed those papers. After talking with your mom, I realized these two would be a better father for you than I ever could.”

Your son nods, sighing under his breath as he collects his thoughts. 

“Mom will be there and Vivian to. Is that going to be a problem?”

“Oh, uh, no. I didn’t realize they were talking to each other.”

“They aren’t. Dylan wanted to get to know Brody and Vivian missed him so Y/N lets him go to her house on the weekends.”, Steve explained. 

“Wow. It seems a lot has changed.”

“It’s been 5 years, Charlie. What did you expect?”

Your ex flinched at the sound of Dylan using his name but unlike the incident with Steve, it didn’t bother your son. He had long since moved past feeling like Charlie was his dad and could honestly never see himself calling him that again. 

“I don’t want you to go to my graduation but, maybe, we could get together and get to know each other again. Work our way up to having a relationship… I mean if mom and my dads are okay with it.”

“Yeah, Dil. I’d like that.”

Hearing Charlie call him that again stuck a raw nerve he kept tucked away for the last five years causing him to abruptly rise from his seat. 

“Ok, I’m ready to go now.”, he announces without waiting for an answer and flying out the front door. 

“Thank you guys for this. Tell Y/N I said thank you to.”

“Oh, she didn’t approve of this either. I’m the only one that seems to be slightly on your side but that’s because I know what it’s like to have your father abandon you.”, Eddie exhales as he and Steve get up as well.

“I didn’t…I didn’t abandon him.”

“Yeah, sure. Neither did my dad. He just boosted cars and ended up in jail for the rest of his life. It’s not his fault.”, he responded sarcastically. “Step one on rebuilding your relationship with him Charlie… Own your mistakes.”

################

“No Grandpa! You have to wear the crown because you’re a princess.”, Aurora giggled as she places the colorfully crown she created out of paper onto Wayne’s head. 

“I’m a princess? Not a King?”

“No.”, she laughs harder, cover her mouth with her little hand. 

Beaming over at them from your place on the floor, you and James continue to color in his little coloring book Eddie’s uncle had brought over. 

“Granpa, purty.”

“Thank you, James. I do feel beautiful.”

The alarm beeps as the front door opens and you do everything in your power not to get up to run to them anxiously. 

“Oh wow, Wayne. I must say, you make a gorgeous queen.”, Eddie teases.

“For your information, son, I’m a princess.”

The metalhead chuckles as they come to sit by you in the living room and your son immediately crawls to Steve to show him his pictures. 

“Dada, look.”

The sound of Dylan’s feet subtly bang up the stairs as he heads for his room and closes the door. 

“He’s ok, baby. Just needs some time alone.”, your husband assures. 

“What happened? Did he show up?” They gave you a recount of everything that happened including Eddie telling you both about him almost leaving. “I can’t say I’m not happy he won’t be going but who knows. Maybe in these six months Dylan may change his mind.”

The next couple of days went by with little to no fan fair as Christmas break finally came. That Friday after coming home from work, you checked the mail like you normally do except a college insignia catches your eye. Running full speed into the house, you drop everything as you scream your son’s name.

“Jesus Christ, woman. What is happening?!”, Eddie exclaims as he slides in from the kitchen.

As Dylan sprints down the stairs with Steve in tow, you present him with the envelope he had been waiting weeks for. Hastily, he yanks it from your grasp and tears it open as you dance on the balls of your feet. 

“Oh my god.”

“What? Is it good news? Bad news?”

With wide tear-filled eyes, a small grin spreads along his face. 

“I got in.”

All the adults in the room shout in excitement as you tackle hug your arms around him. 

“Baby, oh my god. I’m so proud of you!”

“Good job, Dylan.”, Eddie beams. “You’ll be the first Munson to go to college.”

“I’m proud of you to, little man.”, Steve smiles softly as he gives the boy a hug. 

“I’m going to go call Daisy. I love you guys!”, he declares as he speeds back up to his room. 

The metalhead holds up his index finger in your direction as both men tilt their head and wait for his door to close before the other boy nods. As soon as you get the go ahead, you fall into their arms and begin to cry. 

“I know, baby. He grew up too fast. We’re going to miss him to.”

***

“Ok, I finally got Aurora and James to sleep. Eddie is in the kitchen eating Santa’s cook—“, Steve froze when he finally entered the bedroom and noticed the image before him. 

You were sitting on the edge of the bed in a velvet red lingerie dress that cut off just so on your thigh barely hiding your panty less crotch with the white fluff that wrapped around the bottom. Your hair was curled and flowed down your shoulders as the Santa hat you wore sat perfectly on your head. 

“I thought you two could open this present early.”, you grin in a seductive voice as you cross your legs and lean back on your hands. 

“Eddie…”, Steve tried to call with a needy crack in his tone. “E-Ed-Eddie… EDWARD!”

“What!?”, the metalhead whisper shouts making you giggle. “Dude, lower your voice. You’re gonna wake—” While he was talking, the man pulled his collar to hurry him up and your grin grew as the other boy’s mouth fell open as well. 

“Get in here, you dorks.”, you tease as you get up, pull them both into the bedroom, and shut the door. “I was thinking we could try something Eddie has mentioned a few times.”

“Oh my god, I’m so in love with you.”, Steve sighs happily as he lifts you into his arms and spins you around before placing a kiss on your lips. “Do we get to handcuff him? Please tell me we do!”

“If you both want.”

Eddie giddily climbs into the bed, kissing your lips before a thought crosses his mind. 

“Wait, we haven’t handcuffed Steve to the bed yet and I feel like this whole edging thing would be way more fun to do to him… Mr. I’m-the-big-protector-guy.”

The pretty boy rolls his eyes as he falls on to his back, lifting off his shirt, and throwing it in his husband’s face playfully. 

Pushing some of your hair behind your ear, you restrain him to the headboard as the metalhead pulls off the boy’s sweats and boxers. 

“Should we have like a safe word or something? You both get sensitive quickly and I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”, you ask in a soft, loving voice that makes him smile. 

“I’ve heard ‘Red’ is a good word.”, Eddie offers, grinning when you both nod in affirmation. 

“Say ‘Red’ if I’m uncomfortable. Got it.”, Steve repeats, smirking when you put your Santa hat on his head. “You know, you’re pretty sensitive to, fyi.” 

“I guess next time, we’ll have to test that theory.”, you tease as you run your palm through the hair on his chest and over to his side. “Ok, my love, do you want to start since you’re the sexual deviant that’s been looking up this stuff?”

The long-haired boy smiles mischievously as he leans over the other boy’s stomach to kiss your lips. 

“You…like…it.”, Eddie coos between each peck. 

As you continue to rub his chest, Steve’s breathing stutters as the man he loves take his cock in his warm hands and begins slowly stroking him. 

“How does that feel, baby?”

“G-good. Really good. I like when y-you both touch me.”

Your palm slides up his neck to his cheek and he tenderly kisses your thumb as it grazes his lips. Shifting your body, you curl up on his side as you listen to the sound of Eddie spit over his tip and smear it along his length making Steve’s mouth open in a silent O.

“Fuck, Eddie, baby.”

Trailing kisses along his side, your hands and nails continue to roam his upper torso as his back arches at the sensations. As your husband’s ringed hand pumps him faster, Steve bites his bottom lip to suppress the loud moan that wants to escape. 

“You look so handsome like this.”, you whisper as you tenderly move some of his hair away from his face. “Keep talking to us, Stevie. Please.”

“C-Can’t.”

“Why?”

“Too…too good.”

Beaming towards the other man, he winks at you as he drops another glob of spit over Steve’s tip as the boy ruts up into his hand. You both know his tells for when he’s about to let go; you’ve all studied each other very well over these past almost 12 years. Just as Steve was nearing his release…Eddie let him go and leaned back on his knees. 

“N-No. No, no, no!”

“How are we feeling now, Harrington?”

The man huffed as he tugged on his restraints before groaning with need as Eddie wrapped his lips around his cock taking him all the way down to the back of his throat. After kissing his lips, you trailed your own down his chest to his stomach and stopping just above the base of shaft. 

The metalhead came off him with a syrupy smack, stroking the man with his hand as he leaned towards you to passionately kiss your lips. The two of you played with Steve for a good long while, taking turns bringing him to the edge just before pulling back. His cock was dripping with both your saliva, angry and red from all the teasing. 

As you glanced his way, his eyes were squeezed shut as he muttered things under his breath. 

“Steve, honey? Are you ok?”

His eyes opened abruptly, meeting yours with a fire you hadn’t seen from him in a very long time.

“Eddie, let him go.”, you breathily moaned as his intense gaze never left yours. 

The moment the cuffs came off, Steve’s sweaty frame practically tackled your own as he lifted you into his arms and spun you around making you giggle at his earnestness as your head hit the pillows. His lips devoured yours as if it had been ages since he tasted your kisses. Hissing at your touch, you reached between you both and guided him into your entrance. Before he could make any kind of movement, Eddie took hold of his hips and slide into the man above you. 

Steve was anything but gentle as he slammed his lower half into you both desperately chasing his release. 

“Oh…oh my God, baby. Just like that.”, you whimpered as his head feel beside you, latching his lips to your neck. 

Glancing up to your other husband, his hair blocked his face as he grunted and clung to Steve’s waist as he met each thrust with a hard, rough one of his own. 

The bed underneath you began to shake and the metalhead quickly reached up to hold it still with his palm.

“Fuck, Steve. You feel so fucking good. I love you, baby. M-Make me cum.”

Clinging to his hair and back, he pounded into you till the coil snapped and your pussy clenched tightly around him. The sound he made in your ear drove you crazy as his body trembled on top of yours and you felt his seed release inside of you. As he aggressively thrust it deep into your cunt, Eddie fell against his back, and held his chest as he came inside of the man below him.  

“Jesus fucking Christ, that was amazing.”, the metalhead panted. “Steve, sweetheart, are you ok?”

“I think he fell asleep.”, you giggled as you petted the boy’s head. “Stevie, baby?”

“Hm?”, he grumbled as he snuggled closer to you.

“Are you alright?”

“Hmm…mmhmm…”, he nodded. 

“As much as I would love for you to fall asleep inside of me, it’s Christmas eve. You know at 7am those kids are going to burst through our door.”

Groaning, he nods as he rolls off you with Eddie immediately ready with a pair of boxers and rag to wipe him off. After making sure Steve was set, your husband grinned as he lifted you into his arms, disrobed you, and placed you in the shower as he delicately cleaned you. 

“I love you to, baby.”, you smile up at him as he kisses your forehead. 

“I love you even more. You looked really gorgeous in that outfit and I’m sure Steven will agree when he’s more coherent.”, he chuckles. 

Wrapping your arms tightly around his waist, he does the same as he rests his chin on your head. 

“You know these next few months I’m going to need you two to help me hold it together.”

“I know, sweetheart. I can’t even picture Dylan not being in this house anymore. God, and we’re both going to have to be on Steve duty because you know he’s going to be a mess to.”

################

While Eddie and Steve sip their coffee, you pat James’s back as he curled up around you after opening all his presents and went back to sleep. 

While Aurora was distracted with her morning cartoons, Dylan had gone upstairs to change and came back down just as your doorbell rang. Passing the baby to one of his fathers, you threw on your jacket and opened the front door to a fiddling Charlie. 

“Oh, um, hey Y/N. Merry…Merry Christmas.”

“Yeah, so you’re taking him to Vivian’s?”

“Um, yes, ma’am. She’s letting me spend the day with Brody so I asked Dylan if he wanted to join and he said yes.”

Turning to your son, you fixed his ski cap before kissing his cheek. 

“No detours to Daisy’s ok? I want you home straight after for dinner.”

Smiling at you, he jogs towards your ex’s truck and quickly climbs into the heat. 

“Thank you for this. I really appreciate it…after everything.”

“Don’t thank me, Charles. Thank those men in there. I still think this is a bad idea because of everything but we all just want our son to be happy. But I swear to God…I’m not the same woman I was 18 years ago. If you hurt him—”

“I know…your, uh, boyfriends threatened me already.”

“Husbands. Oh, they’ll be the first wave but I’ll be the finishing move. I’m not weak anymore.”

“You never were.” His response startles you as you hug your arms tighter around your body and he softly smiles. “I’ll have him back in a few hours.”

As you reentered the house, their eyes watched you as you sit beside them on the couch still hugging yourself. Ringed fingers threaded through your hair before turning you to face them. 

“Everything ok?”

“Yeah. It’s just weird seeing Charlie be this way.”

“I can understand that. It’s like if my dad came through that door with a smile and a Santa level of presents.”, Steve sighed. 

“Are you both ok? I told him to be home for dinner that way after we eat maybe you three can play that new game we got him.”

“It’s whatever he wants, baby. I try to remember what it was like when I was his age and I never wanted to be home.”, the pretty boy laughs. “So, the fact that he likes hanging out with us at all makes me happy.”

Eddie nods in agreement as James wiggles in his embrace. 

“Daddy. Yames…hungee…”, the boy babbles as he taps his mouth with his palm. 

“I guess it is that time to start fattening him up so we can have him plump enough to eat for dinner later.”

“No, daddy! Don’t be mean to James.”, Aurora scolds as her brother giggles. 

“Come on, you. Let’s see if Santa left us anymore cookies in our pantry.”

#########

@adequate-superstar @kalinaselennespeaks @nailbatanddungeon

@dad-steddie @manda-panda-monium @alligator-person

@decadentwombatmiracle @katie-tibo @marsupiooo

@local-stoner-bitch @steamystrangerfics @lunatictardis

@adaydreamaway08 @hazydespair @actuallyspencerreid

@moviefreak1205 @waylandmorgernsternherondal-blog

@kik51199 @strngrlytn @idkidknemore @damon-loves-pie

@k-k0129 @micheledawn1975 @eddie86baby

@justmeandmymeanderingthoughts @3rriberri

@sashaphantomhive @chelebelletx @big-ope-vibes

@munsonzzgf @munsonmoonshine86

[yeyinde]

Just saw a TikTok where a kid send their favorite stuff animal to his dad who's deployed. Just imagine this happening with 141 🥺 (I'm actually sending this to my favorite writers hoping I can get a cute scenario 😅)

I admire your honesty lmao. So. Here ya go:

—Gen. Reader (but tbh, *you're* a very minor part of this). Child is not named or gendered, either, and can easily be read as adopted instead of bio (with cheeky little hints geared toward this). Fluff(ish).

—I'm not really sure if this constitutes as cute but I wanted to try and write something that was extremely vague but also incredibly...not vague. Transparent, almost. This is that. A thought experiment. Enjoy.

On the surface, the package isn't anything special. Nondescript beige. Square. It's a bit beat up from its journey, bruised and dented like most boxes shipped halfway across the world tend to be, and much too light to be a care pack. 

He sits in his assigned cot with a heavy sigh that creaks through aching bones and tender muscles, eyes already half mast from a day staring at sand dunes and trying to divine answers in gunpowder, reading bullets like tea leaves. Sleep isn't beckoning, it's screaming. Howling loud in his ears and knocking all his thoughts asunder. 

He has half a mind to tuck the box aside, lay down with his boots still on, and sleep until it doesn't make his head split at the seams to keep his eyes open. It's needed, too. They head out tomorrow. Sure, firm, and bound in brass. An unavoidable calamity as they chase shadows with grasping hands, fingers always a hair too short to reach. He might, yet, he thinks, but the box is nearly weightless in his hands, and despite its featherlight heft in his lap, it calls to him. 

If he waits, it'll never leave the sanctity of this safe house. It'll get lost in the shuffle. In the tumult tomorrow morning, a breath before dawn, will surely bring. 

So, he opens it. 

Clumsy fingers, numbed from curling around the butt of a gun all day, paw at the tape until it unravels in a messy cluster, sticking to the palm of his hand. He presses it to the side before slipping his fingers through the flaps. 

It might be a letter asking for a divorce. He thinks about laughing, maybe, but the humour is bereft of reprieve. 

You'd hit him, he thinks. Smack him upside the head for the very thought. 

(Maybe dislodge the monsters in there, too.)

But when he peels back the lips, and peers inside, it isn't a letter. It's a bear.  

Pocket sized, he remembers saying. A negotiation tactic in the middle of a toy aisle to keep the tears from flooding over a glistening lash line. It was as effective as he expected it to be, but the compromise, however shaky, was reinforced with the promise of McDonald's if they didn't cause a scene in the middle of the shops. Sniffles meet his ears still, but they slow, considering the offer. Head tilts adorably to the side (ladies in the aisle over coo). Then, sticky, wet fingers slapped his palm. Deal made. Done. 

Done. 

The bartering tool—a subpar toy for less than twenty dollars in lieu of a roaring dinosaur that was nearly seventy (Jesus fuckin' Christ)—becomes a reluctant ally against a set of imagined enemies, and then trusted friend. A companion, one carried everywhere—the bath, school, bed—and its loved state is shown through its disarray. Carried in patches of scant fur, in a nose that lost its glossy shine from too many kisses at night and in the morning, and just because ("because he's cute and he needs a kiss!"), and from rips and tears, and clumped cotton when it was hung to dry lopsidedly after spending a day at the beach. It's in the missing button on the little dungarees it wears, and the loose threads that split the seams. 

It's just a bear, but—

"If anything happens to Mr Bear, I will die, dad!" 

Little feet pounding the pavement, frantically searching for the fallen friend who slipped from the basket after a walk to the park. Eyes wide, wild, and filled with tears. Head swivelling in all directions. 

"Why will you die, exactly?" He hedges, brows drawing taut. He's not versed in this well enough to know if this is alarming yet. Maybe. He thinks it might be, has a nagging suspicion that it is, but you offer a shrug in response, and he's calmed a bit by your nonreaction. Normal, then, he thinks, and turns back the way they came, peering at the grass for any signs of an ugly little bear. 

"Because!" It's snapped in that waspish huff only children can muster—the one that says, duh! despite the absurdity of it all. "We share a heart. That's what mum says. And if a cat got him and he's all chewed up, and—"

You have the wherewithal to be a little bit sheepish when he turns to you, mouthing the words back. 

"It was—," you start, shrugging. A touch embarrassed. A little flustered. It suits you, he finds. You wear it like an endearing garment. "It was just a joke, but kids take everything so literally, and so now—"

"Mind, body, heart, and soul!" 

More little stomps. A pout forms. Wobbles. He bends down before the tears fall, gentle as he thinks he can be (and gentler some, because if parenthood has taught him anything, it's that his patience for a little being that picked him, that looked at him and said, you, you, you; I want you, is infinite) he places his hands on trembling shoulders, and tries to soothe the pain that etches in glossy eyes. Hand bearish and uncertain, but quivering from holding back, from offering nothing in this moment except liquid adoration and unfettered devotion. He feels it writ across the lines in his face.

"It's alright," he gruffs, and then hides a wince when the boney, fragile shoulders beneath his hands tense, shake. Soft as smoke, he adds: "we'll find the bastard—"

"Ahem!" 

"—the bear."

A sniffle. "His name is Mister Bear and I love him to the moon and back."

It melts him in ways he never expected. Unthaws tundric parts of himself he thought were lost to permafrost; empty and void of life. It cracks, shatters. He moves, tugging the little body wracked with sobs tight to his chest as if he means to tuck them between his rib cage where they'll stay, a little bird safe and sound and untouched by the uglier parts of the world that wants to maim and hurt. Gentle shushes fall from his lips. Clumsy affection he doesn't know how to give but will learn if it means he can whisper the same words—to the moon and back—until his throat rots and his words turn to ash. Until his bones are brittle and weary, and the earth reclaims his life. 

He says them, then, stilted and unsure, but firm. Heavy. 

"Love you, little bird," he rasps, lips pressing tight to a plump cheek. "Now let's find that Bastar—" ahem! "—bear. That bear. Okay?"

The bastard was in a pile of rubbish by the side of the road. His ear was lost to the many washes he went through to rid the stench of trash and cat piss from his fur. 

You'd scrubbed the bear in the sink before, it's little dungarees hung up to dry in the garden. He startled you, then, when his hands wrapped around your middle, tugging you tight to his chest. Your ring caught, cutting a clean stripe through the one beady it had left. 

He paid it little mind at the time, too busy nipping the nape of your neck as you offered weak protests that fell apart when you arched into him. Pretty and wanting. 

"Maybe another?" He'd rasped into your ear, eyes drifting down to the ugly, sodden bear in the sink. "Call up the stork and have one delivered tomorrow, mm?"

"You're ridiculous," you huffed but it wasn't no. 

And it wasn't meant to be, either. He was called away three days later, the words murmured out while you stitched up the misshapen mess of a teddy bear in the living room. Patient to a fault, you'd simply smiled at him, taut and painful around the edges, and said, be safe. 

The announcement of his departure wasn't nearly as smooth, though. A tantrum, fraught with heavy sobs and howled no's seemed to threaten to topple the house down over them all. 

But you'd spoken words he couldn't hear, and moon-shaped eyes turned to him, fogged over with tears. There was acceptance buried in the webbing nebula, but it was shaky. Tenuous. 

Childish hands hold him tight before he leaves. "Mr Bear always keeps me safe.

The sentiment was overlooked at the time. A passing murmur that was lost in the shuffle of packing, leaving. Kisses and whispered worries in the middle of the night. 

But he thinks about it now, and tries not to laugh. 

At the bottom of the box is a note. He'll keep you safe, too! Love you to the moon and back.

He tucks the bear into his breast pocket where it'll be the safest on this journey, and wonders what you thought about the whole mess. It makes his lips curl. 

Halfway across the world, and they still make him smile. 

[jccatstudios]

Helloo! I've been curious what'd change if you were to make the comic in color? Not in full color though, for instance the brownish color of the “you're a thief kaz” page is absolutely gorgeous and I was thinking if deciding to go that route would slow down the process of making the comic. The black and white shades you use are so good that half the time I sort of forget the comic's not in color.

P.S. really sorry if that's a stupid thing to ask (sketching until the side of my hand is graphite stained is my idea of a fun time so I haven't given digital art a try yet)

P.P.S. have a magical summer :)

That actually doesn't take long to do! I made a gradient map layer for that page and it can be applied to any file with just a click. Sometimes I turn on the layer on normal chapter pages just to see what it looks like. I do black-and-white because it's faster and cheaper to print. My goal is to always make my comics as financially accessible as possible, so grayscale printing is the way to go. Plus, I really love the simplicity and beauty of black ink.

Speaking of the comic, it's in the works! I'm over halfway done inking page 25, and I have to get it done before I lose access to the school scanners next week. Expect an update soon, I mean it! My Batman comic final (wild concept, I know) has been my top priority for the past few weeks, but I'm nearing the end of that too. I can't say it'll be smooth sailing in terms of updates after that. There'll be like a 2–3 week period where I won't be able to scan still and I'll be going to a convention. For the rest of the summer, I plan on getting a lot done of Chapter 3. I'm honestly so proud of page 25 so far since it's the first page that's been redone with a new production method I'm trying (I can talk about that later). I hope you guys will like it too :)

[xoxoavenger]

Drunk Under a Streetlight

pairing: JJ Maybank x Fem!Reader

summary: But I knew you/Dancin' in your Levi's/Drunk under a streetlight, I/I knew you/Hand under my sweatshirt/Baby, kiss it better, I/And when I felt like I was an old cardigan/Under someone's bed/You put me on and said I was your favorite

word count: 961

warnings: drinking

cardigan masterlist main masterlist

That night, they get absolutely wasted. It's mostly because JJ knows Y/N wants to be able to forget about what her parents have done to her, to numb the hurt of their betrayal, but instead of depressingly getting drunk alone at the Chateau, they go to Charleston, just the two of them. They take the ferry and walk to one of the bars, laughing and reminiscing about how they used to come with their fake IDs, finding the places that didn't card and taking everyone and going crazy on weekends. Sometimes they would fall asleep in a park, waking up to officers telling them to leave, but sometimes they would rent a hotel room and continue drinking until morning.

"Maybe you should slow down." JJ says when she nearly falls of a chair finishing her drink. He's laughing though, and when she leans against him he knows it's time to pay the tab and find a hotel room. He doesn't think they'll continue drinking, not this time, but Y/N's had a rough day and he wants her to have the comfort of a bed tonight.

But it's too late in the night, and without them knowing everyone else has left and they're being kicked out of the bar. They stumble away, laughing and leaning on each other. JJ has halfway forgotten about his plan to get a room when Y/N runs ahead. 

"I have a song stuck in my head!" Y/N yells, one hand around the lamppost as she twirls to the music in her head.

"Oh! Oh! Let me guess!" JJ screams, grabbing her hands and spinning her around. It's two AM, but they are near a park, houses far enough away that they won't hear the couple's screaming.

"It's Taylor Swift!" She tells him, causing him to gasp dramatically and drop her hands, swaying away.

"I wanted to guess!" He wines, causing her to laugh.

"She has like, a million songs! I wanted to make it easier for you!" She laughs, falling to the grass on the other side of the sidewalk.

"I'm about to read your mind." JJ says, the street light making his light hair practically reflective and his eyes the brightest shade. Y/N is about to doubt him, tease that there is no way he could know that, when he stars singing. "I like shiny, yeah, but somethin' paper rings, uh huh you're the one I want!" He calls, and she can only laugh as he hums and dances, a splash on his jeans illuminated as it catches the light. She can't remember how it got there, but she smiles all the same.

"How did you guess?" She asks, letting him pull her up to her feet, the two of them singing out of tune and the wrong words as they twirled around, kissing in between words.

The truth is, she actually had Getaway Car stuck in her head. But it was cute that JJ started singing Paper Rings, or at least trying his best. They get halfway through Lover, which is easier to sing, before they collapse on the ground and fall asleep in each other's arms.

This time, they wake up abruptly not to a police officer but the sprinklers. They scream and stumble away, noticing that they've only been asleep for a short period of time; the sun had barely risen and the air was still cool, despite the summer. The couple grumble and take the first ferry home, sitting close to each other. Y/N was wearing JJ's sweatshirt that he had shoved in a small backpack that had shielded it from being wet.

As their headaches settled in, all Y/N could think about was her previous night. She left home. And sure, she hadn't been sleeping there for a while, but her parents hadn't actually kicked her out. All she could think of is that her mother didn't care, just yelled at her as she left.

"Baby," JJ was wiping her tears before she even knew that she was crying. She looked up, letting him put his arms around her.

"I'm sorry," She was glad that in the morning the ferry was only full from the OBX to the mainland, plenty of people going to work there. Not as much so vice versa. "I was just thinking about how my mother didn't even care that I was leaving. She only wanted to save face, that's why she didn't kick me out sooner." JJ's hand went to her waist, under her sweatshirt to rub circles on her skin.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. It's your parent's fault. I don't know why they wouldn't like someone like you." He comforts, pressing kisses to her cheeks and then one to her lips, even though their breath was sour.

"Probably because I was a terrible daughter." Y/N frowns. Maybe, if she hadn't pulled so many stunts, if she had tried a little harder, then her parents would have cared.

"Hey," How JJ knew what to say Y/N had no idea, because JJ never had the best parents either. "Parents are supposed to love unconditionally. They were like this before you started acting out. It's the same with my dad." He kisses her forehead and pulls her closer, hands caressing her skin. It's almost like he read her mind.

"Your dad is worse by a mile." She tells him, because it's true. But they both smile, if only because they don't have to deal with Luke anymore, and Y/N can't help but feel the love she has for JJ blossom in her heart. Her mother made her feel useless, weak, but JJ? JJ made her feel needed. She was important to him, and the fact that he made sure to tell her made her fall even more in love.

//

tags: @avada-kedavra-bitch-187  @one-sweet-gubler

[brain-rot-central]

Sonnet was mentioned by @deadly-diminuendo, @bardic-inspo, and @paganwitchisis! Thank you guys so much -- stealing the game from you, if you don't mind!

words posted: 67,589 additional words written: (nothing as of yet; taking a brain break for today lol) grand total of words: 67,589

fandoms: BG3, Dragon Age

highest kudos: Sonnet of the Lone Cardinal, sitting at 510! <3 highest hit oneshot: Possession, at 7,168 new things I tried: Started a longfic (Sonnet), a new fandom, and just allowed myself to be more creative this year. fic I spent the most time on: Definitely Sonnet, and my pegging fic. I distinctly remember sitting on my couch trying to finish that one up as quickly as possible lol. fic I spent the least amount of time on: A Moment's Respite; really started as an idea tossed around with friends and I wanted to write a short, sweet scene. favorite thing I wrote: I'm still currently writing Sonnet; there was a line I wrote for Tav in chapter 10 as she's arguing with AA:

“Is that what I’m to do, Astarion? Piece everything together and just assume how you feel? Like a dog that waits patiently for scraps at the dinner table?”

Also this one:

“Should I take a page out of your book then, and lie to your face?” Tav realizes she's playing with fire the more she pushes, but she can't help herself. The smell of raw, open wounds fills her; she finally has him cornered. “Would you rather I fall to my knees and swear fealty to you, all while brandishing a dagger behind my back? Is that in more of a language you understand?”

You ever write something, read it back to yourself and go "oof yeah. that's it. that's so fucking it"? Ngl was real proud of myself after that lmao.

favorite thing(s) I read: I'm absolutely loving @cursedhaglette's new fic Requited. It's a DAI retelling from dual POVs between Solas and her oc Morinne Lavellan. It contains spoilers for Veilguard, so if you haven't played that yet or are planning on doing so, just a word of caution. It's sweet, thoughtfully, and the slow burn is killing me. The fire was just recently sparked in her latest chapter and my god is it good. Definitely something to read if you're a Solavellan fan!

Midnight at Skyhold by LadyDanya on Ao3. Where the fuck do I begin? A Cullen/Female Trevelyan fic; he's crushing on the Inquisitor but doesn't think he's enough as is to face her. Varric also decided to litter copies of his latest smut novel around Skyhold, leaving all the women in a tizzy. Cullen gets his hands on a copy after hearing Trevelyan's praise about it and decides to take a few pages out of the book to help him out. Idk the whole concept makes me insane in a good way. It's unfinished but where the author left off is more than sufficient of an ending.

You'll hate me (make love) by @astarionfreak AA x Tav post-break up fic. They're dying and their last wish is to have the rogue they fell in love with make love to them one final time. I absolutely love this fic though it also makes me want to bawl my eyes out.

writing goals for 2025: not really writing but I hope to put more energy into reading more fic. If I'm actively writing, I find it hard to simultaneously read fic because then I start comparing myself to what I'm reading and psyche myself out of writing. Absolutely no one's fault but mine, I know, and I apologize for it. But that's the truth lol. But I hopefully will finish Sonnet by the end of the year. We're about halfway done. And idk, maybe allow myself the space to think of an original work? I'm not the best with world building but I've also never allowed myself to explore the possibility of writing something entirely from my own brain. Hopefully I can unshackle it this year and come up with something. Will it ever see the light of day, who knows. But everyone should be able to dream, yes?

Opening this up to all to participate!!