#i think it’s funnier if they’re not and it’s tom being tom but with the added ‘we know we’re probably gonna fuck at some point

[romanticoutcast]

every once in a while i remember how good the musical is and i get inspired

[gregmarriage]

succ scene where tom and greg are at a party or something and tom is eating a cocktail sausage or something and jokingly pretends to do fellatio on it and makes extreme eye contact with greg from across the table or whatever and then suddenly and violently bites the sausage and greg has to leave the room

[akkivee]

hello vee.

@/twogallonhats on twitter made this iceberg, and now i am subjecting you to this. Explain to the best of your knowledge, good luck.

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh okay sure

idk why rhyme anima is listed tbh it’s just a zany anime version of hypmic but that very well may be the reason lol like it gave us a man by the name of tom whisper weathercock lol

there’s always a prolific push for your fav to win the drb lol. iirc during the championship round in the 1st drb there was a fan?? fans??? who gave money to some guy with a following to post a video of him asking everyone to vote for mtc lol. jp fans for the second got together and made eng/kor/ch instructions on how to vote in the vr battles it’s a time can’t wait for that to kick off next year 😬

arb is technically not canon and therefore ooc lol

idk what hypmic tictok sounds mean. i can tell you of a few times hypmic was trending on tiktok tho lol

idk if they were even a soundcloud rapper, but some soundcloud rapper fell in love with hypmic and decided to make ichiro his oc/persona and put himself on a team with jyushi and samatoki and they were california division lol

back in 2018???? hypmic posted a christmas video except it was just champagne gold and base hifumi.png in a santa hat slid across the screen truly graphic design is hypmic’s passion lol

i mean there was a brief time there were rp accounts on twt so ig that’s what it

kimura loves black people so much and wants to be black so bad he felt the need to bl@ckface for one of his album drops. fandom asked he take down the posts, he didn’t, fans called him out on it, he blocked them

around the time when there was rumblings that gbr was exiting uhhhhh the eu i think, a dice cosplayer had a video of themselves popping mentos in a coke bottle go viral. someone in british politics used it as a metaphor for whatever stance they had on brexit lol

lol i’m lumping hypstage and hypnama together since i don’t think there’s a real reason they’re listed other than occasionally being points of discussion

hifumi was the original tbh creature

asmr tubers vibe with hypmic characters being their yandere bfs

idk if it’s more than memeing on hitoya but that hitoya card in the pic was clowned on so hard LOL

i couldn’t tell you a specific instance of it but hypmic jank includes frequent misspellings lol

lol i also don’t know if there’s actual controversy behind oridivis besides them getting thanos snapped

*rio voice* curry friday and the mtc seiyuu used to celebrate it lol

there was a collab with some instant curry company (probably called curry meshi lol) and they had the leaders rap a song for it. the songs’ are fun and what’s even funnier is that the song has the leaders sharing this curry and kuukou technically didn’t eat the curry bc it was all gone by the time the cup reached him (and jakurai ate most of it LOL)

i have no fcking clue what weenor busujima is lol

the fact hyprice is a thing is a damn good reason to be here lol. ogs know a hypmic series producer made the joke in 2018 during a hypnama that spawned the concept years later lmao

there was a typo on kuukou’s introductory bio that said he was 68cm LOL

akuma no hana is indeed a song about sex idk what else to tell ya lol

throwback to the hypmic bathtubs they had a live for crazy ass hypmic merch moments lol

the hangout streams are located in this building called mixalive. instead tagging that building’s twt for one of their events, hypnosis flava iirc, they mistakenly tagged a porn twt lol

there was an art trend a few years ago where artists drew their bde faves (and even real people got in on the trend) balancing a shampoo bottle on their big 🍆. ichiro was unfortunately the face of the trend

stage hitoya went viral for that pic used in the iceberg and i had to see randos calling him a two face ass character ONLY HYPMICS ARE ALLOWED TO BULLY HITOYA DAMN YOU

the seiyuu are always getting up to shit backstage lmao tradition is ishiya-san and amasaki-san prowling up on the mtc seiyuu menacingly lmao

if there’s drama or anything of relevance outside of yes stream discords exist, ion know about it lol

a few songs are inspired by/interpolate from other songs. this a normal thing in the music industry (let’s get physical by olivia newton john and physical by dua lipa comes to mind) but hypmic caught a lot of flack for ‘stealing’ from black artists. shinogi dead pools is kendrick lamar’s drank swimming pools bar for bar lol but again, it’s very normal lol the whole kendrick vs drake rap battle that happened this year literally was them using each other’s sound to diss them

some european(?) indie film had an actor wearing ichiro’s jacket

there was a brief trend in jp where they made snow sculptures of their characters as means of attractions and hypmic jumped in on it. it produced the ugliest kuukou known to man he was so unflatteringly scrunckly i loved him LOL

????? bat seiyuu family???? i’m sure what i have in mind is not what they have in mind lol but i mean yeah it’s a running joke that the bat seiyuu consider each other family lol shoutout to sakakihara-san randomly calling hayama-san his ‘onii-chan’ and both hayama-san and sakakihara-san bullying tf outta takeuchi-san by calling him ‘papa’ lol

ariana grande is based about samatoki and there’s proof lol

hypmic vs crsm rap battle was REAL and fumiya wanted to EAT THEM

kamio-san has taken to slapping kuroda-san’s ass and kuroda-san has taken to trying to murder him for it 😌

quite recently lol mtr’s album art was leaked ahead of the hangout stream in a post meant to advertise the fan meeting lol

british dice was a theory i didn’t pay attention to bc i kinda thought just the concept was dumb *wheeze* i think it had something to do with a mistranslation about dice’s father

the rest of that tier i have no fcking clue about lol

in a camera transition during the 9th live, someone’s desktop background was on screen instead of the yknow, livestreaming concert lmao

they got some ddb members to make choreography to move your body til you die!!! i tried i didn’t think it was too bad but the pace of the dance needed to be slowed down eventually lol

if this isn’t poking fun at sensei saying men should automatically know how to rap idk what that is lol

if there’s a trip the mtc seiyuu have taken that stands out from the others, i don’t know about it lol

the hypmic cafe that’s going on rn have these stickers??? standees??? for sale and someone stole all of samatoki’s LOL

[thru-the-grapevine]

We Might Be Stupid

Pairing: Yeo Hwanwoong x reader

Summary: Your best friend apparently thinks it’s the nineties. You call him to straighten things out.

Word Count: 1.8k

Tags: idiot besties to lovers, resolved mutual pining, implied college au, fluff, humor

Author Notes: this is my first work for the Oneus Trope Bingo hosted by @oneusficevents! I’m using it for my “mutual pining” square. A little nervous about it but it was loads of fun to write, so I hope Oneusblr can enjoy it <3

It isn’t quite acceptable barging hours when you barge into your roommate’s bedroom that morning.

“I—huh?” Your roommate mumbles, startling awake at the sound of the door.

“I need to borrow your phone,” you say, pulse racing. “Please. Since mine isn’t being fixed until this afternoon.”

Your roommate frowns, eyes still closed. “What?”

“Please. It’s important. Please. I need to make a call.”

Your roommate’s eyes blink halfway open and gaze at you, only half-conscious. Your desperation must really show on your face, because they say, “Sure. Uh, you okay?”

“I don’t know,” you breathe, unplugging the phone from the charger and tapping in their passcode. “Probably. I don’t know. Thank you. Be right back.”

You find the phone app and dial the memorized number, putting it to your ear. You glance back at your roommate’s alarm clock as you take your leave and try idly to do a calculation of what time it is abroad, deducing that he won’t be asleep and he also won’t still be working. Pick up, pick up, pick up pick up pick up pickuppickuppick-

The ring tone cuts off early and the line clicks on. “Uh…hello?”

Something about hearing Hwanwoong’s voice soothes the sting of the panic in your heartbeat, even as your pulse continues racing. “You. You sent—you and your—an email?”

“Oh,” you hear him say brightly, recognition in his voice, and then, flustered, “uh—hi. I, uh, I can expl—”

“An email?!”

“I panicked!” Hwanwoong blurts. “You—your phone, it’s broken, I can’t text—can’t call either, how are you even calling me by the way, whose phone is—I didn’t know how else to—”

“Is this 1999?” You ask him, incredulous, pacing, and you can’t help a flutter of laughter. “You tell me you have feelings for me in an email?! I’m checking my email to make sure my stupid philosophy paper was turned in on time and I see you sent me something with the subject ‘Help’ and then a confession?! That could have sat there for who knows how long—”

“I only sent it, like, eight hours ago,” he protests, then splutters, “n-no, really, your phone is broken. How did you get my number?”

“Yeo Hwanwoong,” you sigh in exasperation, “I have had your phone number memorized since we were fifteen.”

“…Oh,” he says, then laughs. “God, I love you.”

“Yeah!” You exclaim, stomach fluttering with something giddy at the words. “And you said it in an email, like this is a Tom Hanks movie or something!”

“I’m—listen!” He defends, “it hit me out of literally nowhere, hard, like, think hit-on-the-head-with-a-cinder-block hard, and it was overwhelming, like what the hell? What am I supposed to do with this? And I panicked and usually I just call you when I’m panicked and I would have but your phone—”

“My phone is broken, yeah,” you say, pulse finally winding down to adagio. Your deep breath is still shaky. “Well, I’m here now. Talk me through it.”

“Out of nowhere,” he says darkly. “Truly. I was just wondering what the hell you saw in that guy you’re talking to right now, anyway, the one you keep asking for advice on, and why he keeps bothering you all the time, and then I tried to be all, ‘well, what would I see in them if I was trying to date them’, and was like, ‘I mean, sure, they’re cute, anyone with eyes can see that, and sure they’re funny, but in the smart way which is even funnier, and also they’re thoughtful and also they’re a good listener, and and and’ and then it just hit me and, I mean! What the hell, dude? I don’t even know how long I’ve felt like this? Is this normal??”

“You get used to it after a little bit,” you tell him, head spinning. Hwanwoong just called you cute. “But yeah, it’s kinda overwhelming at first, right? And scary?”

“Terrifying, oh my god,” he groans. “Like, you’re my best friend, what the hell am I supposed to do now? What if you’ve noticed the whole time and have just been staying my friend to be nice, or something?”

“I didn’t notice,” you tell him, dragging your toe along one of the cracks in the floorboards, “or I didn’t want to get my hopes up, anyway. But you’re right, that’s the vibe, for sure.”

“And like, what if telling you is a bad idea? What if you’ll feel weird now about it, and we can’t hang out and make jokes and get bubble tea on weekends and—hey, wait. Got used to—get hopes up? I—WAIT.”

Your pulse jump-starts into high gear again. “Uhhh. Suddenly I have, um, things to do—”

“Don’t you dare hang up!” Hwanwoong exclaims. “Yah! I’ll call you again! Or whoever’s phone this is—it’s your roommate’s, right? Your roommate will get sick of me! Don’t you dare! You—I—what do y—how do you know how this feels?”

“Um.” Your heart is going to ricochet out of your ribcage. “I…maybe this is, uh, not new? For me to feel?”

Hwanwoong is quiet for a second, then, “About who?”

“Dude, don’t make me say it,” you groan. “It’s already embarrassing enough to talk with you about—”

“Is it that guy? The one you’ve been talking to? Because if it is, he’s kind of an idiot and he doesn’t appreciate your sense of humor nearly enough but like, I can take it, I’ll support you and the mediocre boy, it’s okay if—”

“You! It’s you! You dumbass!” You cut him off, shrill. “You’re the idiot! God! You are absolutely unbelievable! I am hanging up the phone!”

“No, please! Pleasepleasepleasepl—”

“Unbelievable,” you mutter, slumping down onto your bed. “I’m not hanging up, you can calm down.”

Hwanwoong sighs, sounding winded. “What are…why are we like this.”

“Beats me,” you mumble.

“You…have feelings for me?”

His voice is gilded with hope. You want to melt into the bed and die. “I…yeah.”

Hwanwoong sighs again, shakily, but you can hear him smiling. “How…when did you figure your side out?”

You close your eyes and pinch the bridge of your nose, embarrassment prickling under your skin. “….like, two years ago.”

There’s a long, excruciating silence on his end.

Panic bubbles up in your throat. “But like, in my defense, that was the year you suddenly were, like….a man? I-I mean, something…happened, because suddenly you weren’t just a kid my age, you were, like, attractive. Which, like, how dare you, by the way? You were supposed to be my cute little bestie forever, but nooo, you had me helping you post thirst traps, and shopping for clothes you looked hot in, and like, what was I supposed to do? So yeah, I thought I was being painfully obvious and that you were just being kind. But no, you’re just an idiot, but like, I guess I was too—”

“I love you so bad,” Hwanwoong interrupts. “You were in….dude, since two years ago?”

“If you think you get to make fun of how long I’ve loved you when you sent me an email—”

“I’m not making fun of you, I’m, like, pissed,” Hwanwoong says, but he’s laughing. “Like, doing the math, connecting the dots, it’s…yeah, I think I’ve felt like this about you since then, too, which is dumb as hell. All that time, and we could’ve…”

“Ugh,” you say, emphatic, dropping your head back against the bed and glaring at the ceiling. All that pining for nothing.

“We…might be stupid,” Hwanwoong says, still snickering.

Hwanwoong is in love with you. Holy shit. You can’t stop grinning. “You, uh. Wow.” You turn over on your side and grab your laptop, which you’d left open to his email on your bed when you rushed to call him. You begin reading aloud. “‘So in the weirdest turn of events I didn’t see coming, I think I may be, like, really in love with you somehow’. You don’t say. You simp for me that bad, huh.”

“I—you—I don’t—” Hwanwoong starts, then sighs.

You laugh.

“Wait, wait, oh my god, is this why I caught you checking me out all the time?” Hwanwoong asks.

Now it’s your turn to splutter. “I—I didn’t—I wasn’t checking y…uh. Well. Maybe.”

Hwanwoong snickers. “Busted.”

You sigh. “How much longer are you away again? Semester’s almost over. It’s been, like, eighty-four years.”

“Um, lemme check,” he says, pausing for a few moments, and you can picture him lifting his phone from his ear and tapping over to his calendar. “….ugh. Another week and a half.”

“Ugh,” you agree. “Too long. You need to come home so I can go full Spanish Inquisition on you about this.”

“Same,” he says. “When are you getting your phone fixed? It’s been killing me this week not to talk to you like normal.”

“The appointment’s today,” you reassure him. “Should hopefully be back to normal by the time you wake up tomorrow.”

“Thank god,” he groans. “Never drop your phone in the washing machine again, dumbass. I have too many important things to say.”

“You’re always welcome to say them over email now, if you want,” you say, smirking, and Hwanwoong grumbles playfully while you laugh.

“Hey.”

Your roommate is in the doorway, looking freshly showered. “I’m leaving soon, I’m gonna need that back.”

You pout but nod. “I gotta go, ‘Woong, roomie needs the phone back.”

“Yeah, I should probably go to bed soon, anyway,” he says, then pauses. “I, um….”

You don’t prompt him, glad that he sounds as shy as you feel.

“…thanks. For not, you know, freaking out. Well, actually, you did freak out, but, like, not in the bad and annoying way.”

“Thanks a lot,” you groan, and he laughs again, the sound soft in a way that sits comfortably in your heart.

“I….I really do. Love you, that is. God, this is awkward.”

You’re grinning ear to ear. “Yeah, it is. It’ll get better with practice, I bet.”

You pause, then add, “I love you, too. Dumbass.”

“Gross,” your roommate says from the doorway, and apparently Hwanwoong can hear them, because he laughs at that, too, and the sound is so joyous. You miss him a lot, miss seeing how his eyes crinkle when he’s happy. You can’t wait for him to get home from abroad.

“I’ll text you when my phone gets fixed, okay?”

“I’ll be waiting. Tick tock.”

You smile.

“Love you,” he says again, and the way he says it makes warmth zip through you.

“Love you,” you breathe, meaning it, then hang up before you get too embarrassed.

Your roommate is smirking when you hand the phone back. “I’m glad my phone could help you two idiots finally figure it out.”

“Shut up,” you mumble, shoving their arm playfully before going to make coffee. A week and a half. How are you going to survive that long?

[cyclone-rachel]

Thoughts on The Boys, episodes 2 and 3:

Episode 2:

Huh. Guess I have to watch The Wire.

Will Ferrell? What are you doing here

Guess they couldn’t have Clancy Brown play the coach

He played the coach, right

Oh hey, he’s back!

You don’t know the half of his low point

“sensitivity readers” and how many of those did you hire?

hahahaha

he’s gonna be fun

“braindead maniac” does describe the comic version

Of course

Don’t take anything they give you

Oh, it’s his mom that’s doing that stuff

Far from “wee” Hughie.

wait who’s this guy playing the boyfriend, I feel like I’ve seen him before

Oh he was the original Dove on Titans, that makes sense

she has a speech therapist?

I love her so much

Oh dear

Fuck off, Butcher

Oh no, they’re making a movie about Ryan

“Homeboy” oh no

Anakin too

This man says volumes with his face

again, I love Sage

Ashley changed her look! I forgot when she ditched the bangs

Oh ouch

Do you not know what the word solo means

That’s the exact wrong advice to give him

Is she 32?

oh she’s a decade older. I see.

Is that the right idea?

What are they doing

Ryan is not a good actor

Using the Captain America line, I see.

Yikes.

He’s gonna go on a power trip

Damn, really?

I want Kimiko’s jacket

Nothing like free hotel breakfast

Oh no, these weirdos are flat earthers too?

“Starlight is a lizard person” jesus

not the minion memes

oh they are calling him Dakota Bob

“soldier boy held captive by the CIA” well he’s being held captive by someone

fuck, they’re climate change deniers too?

“soldier boy + liberty= secret lovers?” I mean, maybe

gosh there’s so much here.

“stormfront is alive” the fuck she is

“tinfoil hat wearing nazi motherfuckers” correct!

Kimiko are you okay

you can tell this was filmed in 2022 because that’s the year before last’s baja blast

hahaha these guys believe delaware isn’t real?

“alt-Supe”

How dare you come for Tom Hanks

NO

god, Frenchie doesn’t believe in the moon landing?

Kimiko!

omg I love her

CUE TOM CARDY’S RED FLAGS

Hey!

Yeah, you should go to the hospital

So glad that he didn’t mean that

Thank you, Hughie

Haven’t seen him in a while

Clovergenders?

The political commentary on this show is too real.

Hahaha I love her

So like conspiracy theorist Jubilee.

YES GIRL

A-Train redemption? That would be nice.

Let him have his moment, man.

YIKES

He’s gonna have to work on his restraint

Kimiko are you okay

Firecracker said “fuck the French” I guess

She’s not gonna do it

That’s like 3 references in one

Drown his ass in the chocolate fountain

“Zionist cabal” NO

Goddamn

Run, bitch!

Hughie cheering on his girlfriend I love them so much your honor

oh hey she’s back!

Go off, Hughie

ooooh Kimiko what are you doing

Episode 3

This is not going to go well.

Also look how few Starlight supporters there are compared to the Homelander supporters

Fuck off

“they want to get rid of superheroes” and what do they think Starlight is, then?

What has she actually said?

There are not seven of them.

I do really like those suits

Oh good, Butcher seems to be doing the right thing

SHE’S ANTI-VAX TOO?

gosh, I do kind of hope she doesn’t believe all of this and is just looking up what will cause the most controversy and clicks. Would be funnier if she was a true believer though.

She’s not wrong

He is that petty

“make a sandwich out of her”

Guess we know Starlight says trans rights, good for her

I’m sure he’s gonna try

Just let him go into the basement and see there are no kids in there.

Well, then she’s gonna be out of a job

Love how The Masked Singer hasn’t changed here

Eyyy kimiko’s a hacker good for her

Kimiko and Helena would be great friends

I love Hughie wearing a dolly parton shirt

Maeve didn’t blow a dude

as far as I know

oh this is fun

“dodgy incel” he’s not wrong

Oh, his voice is changing

That’s fuckin’ brutal.

I’m obsessed with her

do I like Ashley now?

She is a girlboss

gosh, this song

Ryan!

It is clearly not nothing

He also helped take down Stormfront

Not wrong on any of those counts

MM is a great character

You two should hide

Oh yikes

Not the best thing to see

Get your head in the game

Oh hey, it’s Nina

Glad Butcher threw those away

Why did she end that sentence with a question if she wasn’t lying

You said she would be fine!

Ashley are you alright

Yes, go after her, queen

What is a dinosaur doing on her poster

Oh damn, Annie as a bully

She is better

Hasn’t she been traumatized enough

Oh no this is very out of date

also how dare they use Maeve’s image for this

OMG THE BOOK OF MORMON GUY

Hughie can chill.

There’s no way the vents are that big

Oh no

Hughie get out of there

“critical supe theory” I think that is just known as the works of Garth Ennis and a few other authors here in the real world, ma’am

Is Stan dead? I can’t remember

How did Homelander know

Hughie’s sweat is going to get him hurt

YIKES

Well they’re not performing that show anytime soon

Yeah, listen to her

You can try

And how would you do that?

why is she watching reality TV

Is he really?

Oh no

Stop talking about how people smell, Homelander

“gave you everything that I ever wanted” oh that was pointed

oh hey mirror Homelander is back

What start?

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #636

Top Ten Actors Who Could Play The Master in Doctor Who

Today (or maybe yesterday; or maybe five days ago – I don’t know when you’re reading this. Maybe you’re from an advanced civilization a million years into the future, and somehow, inexplicably, this stupid blog is all that remains of human culture. Listen, if that’s the case: sometimes we were a lot funnier than this. Anyway…) the new “season” of Doctor Who begins. After the excitement of last winter’s sixtieth anniversary specials (Tennant! Tate! Trans positivity!) and the joy of the Christmas special (Gatwa! Gibson! Greedy little goblins!), we’re back into the series proper with the show’s third-ever first episode. I’m expecting monsters, weirdness, fun, and tears. I’m expecting a lot, frankly, because that’s what Doctor Who usually delivers. Come rain or shine, good shows and bad, Doctor Who is “a lot”.

Anyway, for ages I had a list tentatively planned about Doctor Who. The actual list itself has been in a lot of flux (no pun intended) but it was always going to be Doctor-adjacent. I do like to keep it relevant, y’know? But man alive, there has been a lot of news this week. I could write a list about the new Superman costume, or the fact that they’re making a bunch of new Lord of the Rings movies! And the magnificent X-Men 97 finishes up next week, and I wanna write something to go alongside that, so I can’t really just push something to next week… blimey, what a lot to go on, eh? The perils and stress of writing a stupid weekly listicle that no one reads.

However, I’ve decided to stick to the script and write about Doctor Who. Because – Christmas special notwithstanding – it’s the launch of a brand new era; the first season of the show in what I guess we can call “the Disney era”, when a co-production deal means that we get a ton of Mouse Cash splashed liberally over the TARDIS. As such, there’s an awful lot that’s new. And new Who means – inevitably – new actors stepping into classic roles.

One of the joys, of course, of Doctor Who is that the very concept is ripe for reinvention. The conceit of giving not just the central character but their entire race the ability to regenerate their appearance gives it a sense of life and refreshment denied most ongoing series; you can always have a new Doctor, and – naturally – you can always have a new Master.

The Master has been revived and rebooted many times, and their opposition to the Doctor is one of the cornerstones of Who. I’ve no idea when the Master will return; but it’s inevitable, at some point. Eventually Russell T. Davies, or his successor, will bring the Master back to fight (and flirt?) with the Doctor, and we’ll get another great actor to chew the scenery across all of space and time. The Master is a dark reflection of the Doctor – the classic staple of “just like the main character, but bad,” a character trope seen in everything from Reverse Flash to Face/Off to those slightly racist “Black Smurfs” – and as such the actor who plays them can be seen to be a reflection of, or commentary on, or compliment to, the actor who plays the Doctor.

So – because I have, once again, wanged on far too much – I’m just going to dive right in. I think you know the drill by now. I’ve picked ten actors who I think would be great casting for the Master; as usual, I’m trying to be more-or-less realistic (we’re never getting Tom Cruise, for instance) and applying my own odd little criteria. So let’s jump right in. Alons-y, and all that.

Paterson Joseph: if you want a Master who embodies the aristocratic tendencies of the classic portrayals, Joseph is more than capable of being both officious and supercilious. He’s also, of course, a Who alum; he was in the first series of the reboot back in 2005, and (depending on who you believe) was a candidate to play the Doctor themselves at one point. He can definitely do funny (see Green Wing, et al) but Wonka showed just how theatrically camp he can be when he twirls his moustache manically.

Mena Massoud: Joseph is basically twice the age of Ncuti Gatwa; often the Master is of comparable age to the Doctor. As a young person of colour, Massoud would be a good counterpoint to Gatwa. He’s also proven himself theatrically, as the lead in Disney’s Aladdin; bringing this energy to his performance would further allow for some cool counterpoints between the two.

Nicola Coughlan: of course, the Master has been the Mistress in the past. Time Lords, we know, can swap genders better than the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park. Coughlan, also of a roughly comparable age to Gatwa, would offer a fun, funny riposte to his energy. Also, it’d be nice to see a bit of subtle body diversity in these sorts of roles.

Rhianne Barreto: perhaps one of the least-recognisable names in this list, Barreto’s biggest deal so far is one of the leads in The Outlaws. She’s very telegenic, and is great as a brilliant and capable girl with a mischievous and dangerous streak; channelling that into a more malevolent nature as the Master, coupled with her young charm, would be really cool, especially acting against someone like Gatwa.

Gillian Anderson: okay, moving away from the relative youngsters, if we’re going to have a woman in the role, and we want to age it up a touch, then who would be better than Gillian Anderson? Imagine her naughtiness, her wicked way with language; imagine her interactions with Gatwa’s Doctor, coloured as they would be by their history on Sex Education? If this was the direction you’d want to go, there’s no one better.

Michael Sheen: another alternative for an older Master would be Sheen. He’s got a great history as a camp, officious sort; look at Good Omens. He could inject some evil into that portrayal and be a terrific Master. Alternatively, he can just go full-bore malevolent; his vocal performance as House in, er, Doctor Who is proof of that (he’s kissed one Doctor, tried to kill another; man’s got form in all departments). I’d make him keep his natural accent, mind.

Elliot Page: Doctor Who has always been a progressive show, especially so since its 2005 rebirth. Davies as a writer is keen to champion new voices and show as much representation as possible. We’ve had male and female Time Lords, but it would be fantastic to see the first trans man take the role; especially as Page is a brilliant actor. Most of the roles I’ve seen him in showcase his natural charm and likeability; it would be cool for him to turn those characteristics into something wicked. I can imagine him as coldly evil against Gatwa’s effervescent optimism.

Alan Tudyk: with Page, we’re already channelling Hollywood. Indeed, this era of Who has prior in this regard: Neil Patrick Harris as the Toymaker, and upcoming episodes featuring the likes of Jonathan Groff. Tudyk (who, of course, is in Frozen alongside Groff) is probably exactly the right level of prestige for this; and he’s just brill. A versatile and gifted actor (witness the range of his performances in animation), he’s a natural comic who can bring heart and warmth to any role. But he’s also played the Joker, so he can definitely do pantomimic villainy.

Colman Domingo: alright, we’re starting to veer away from the plausible. Domingo might not be an A-list Hollywood name, but he’s an incredibly successful actor who was nominated for an Oscar this year. I’m not sure they’d get him; I’m not sure he’d want it. Be he’s beyond talented enough for this, and he’s definitely got the wit and the vim to brig the Master to life. Plus, to see two queer Black actors, at different points in life and career, facing off against each other would be magnificent.

Jack Black: and now we go full-bore ridiculous. But imagine it: they’ve got Disney money behind them now. Perhaps they do some kind of event where this iteration of the Master is only in, say, a two-part finale. So you splash out, go for broke, and cast a proper superstar. Black already popped up as a guest in one episode of The Mandalorian; maybe he’d be up for this? But for God’s sake, just imagine it. Imagine him chewing the scenery as a proper baddie. He’d be singing and dancing! He’d make funny little scat sounds! He’d be charming and hilarious, then booming and terrifying! It would be a joy, an absolute joy.

There we are. Ten people. I nearly had Asa Butterworth on the list, but I tried to limit myself to only one Sex Education cast member.

[girlreviews]

Review #287: Mr. Tambourine Man, The Byrds

I was four years old when I heard The Byrd’s version of Mr. Tambourine Man on the radio and asked my Mom what it was. She knew the name but not the artist. I constantly asked to listen to Mr. Tambourine Man after that. It just cast a spell over me. It was so gorgeous! I hadn’t ever heard anything like this! Okay so I hadn’t heard a lot of stuff when I was four but I still knew when something was magical when I heard it.

But you know, it was like 1992, and you couldn’t just easily listen to whatever song you wanted whenever you wanted (my God how did I function?). So eventually, after little success of actually getting to listen to it, I gave up asking and became obsessed with some other song and largely forgot about it.

And that’s pretty much how it stayed until I was 18 or 19 and got really really into Bob Dylan. Really into Bob Dylan. Obnoxiously into Bob Dylan. My teenage brain had no room for both The Byrds and Bob Dylan to be incredible and legendary — which of course they are — so my natural inclination was to disown my earlier love of The Byrds version and forever commit myself to Bob Dylan’s original, and Bob Dylan’s original ONLY. Why? Because!!!!!!!!!

So two weeks before I leave for college, I’m having a tonsillectomy. Which isn’t ideal. But that’s what we’re doing. I’m on a ward with three old ladies. This is what I remember from this hospital stay:

One: When I was awoken from my surgery, barely conscious from anesthesia, the nurses told me I had to briefly wake up to move from the surgery bed to my ward bed. I had my eyes closed but I was responsive. They kept saying “come on girlreviews, all you have to do is stay awake long enough to move beds”. I said to them “after I move beds, can I go back to sleep?” And they said “yes, of course you can”, to which I replied “this is the happiest moment of my life”. And it was. I could sleep peacefully without any fear or disruption with nobody I knew around. I never had felt so relaxed. I think about this all the time.

Two: They woke me up every two hours to make me drink tea and eat toast, which I also had no complaints about. During one of these intervals, a man was at my bedside that had a very calm and comforting demeanor. He ran the hospital radio station and asked me if I had a song I’d like to hear. I emphatically said “Mr. Tambourine Man, but the BOB DYLAN version!”, and then I was glued to that radio station until the moment I was discharged. Can you imagine how salty I was when he played The Byrds version? It makes me laugh now, because I definitely prefer it again. My four year old self was so much wiser than my sulky teenage mind.

I actually listened to this record a few months ago and was surprised to recognize another song I knew. I’ll Feel A Whole Lot Better, made known to be by Tom Petty. The thing about The Byrds is how they didn’t enjoy the same success, or, magnitude of success as some of their peers even though they’re really responsible for creating entire genres. And their influence is just, immeasurable. I hear in this record a never ending list of records that wouldn’t exist without it. Too many to name. The vocal harmonies, twiddly guitar, and gentle percussion are what captivated me when I was four years old and it’s pretty clear that I was not the only one. It feels like a life reaffirming cup of tea when you’re hungover. That second sleep. That shower where you emerge feeling like a new person and everything’s about 37% funnier. What’s better than that? Other than not being hungover to begin with. Sometimes you gotta ride the Dao, though, you know?

[gayliketheancients]

It’s funnier if you imagine Reg as the only Death Eater stupid/brave/suicidal enough to glare at Voldy and say “Tom/My Lord.” when Reg is sick of his shit.

And Voldemort is angry as fuck about it because WHO does this 16 year old twink think he is being mean and giving him boners. Voldy wouldnt kill him just for being pretty & rude, but pretty, rude, and in the possession of a piece of his soul after stealing it out of hiding? Regulus might as well be his wet dream; powerful, take no shit, pureblood, rich, unyielding, stubborn.

Everybody wondering if they’re fucking or fighting. And Reg has no idea whats even happening anymore. Purposely oblivious.

I love him for it.

jegulus haters are all "james is straight" "james isn't gay" but never "regulus is straight" cuz no man who writes a resignation letter to his evil boss saying "I face death in the hope that when you meet your match, you will be mortal once more" is straight.

[bisluthq]

Yeah travis laughs at the jokes about taylor putting him on the map but if you joked @ joe that she bought him a career he’d off himself right then and there (i say this lovingly it’s just the truth jsbdbshd)

I think she just rly needs someone fun and chill and emotionally secure. like you can’t date the most famous popstar rn and one of the most successful musicians ever if you have a fragile view of yourself nsbdjs plus they match each other’s energies really well too so i see why they’re going all in

I mean *very* few men - even super successful men - would find it funny to be told however jokingly that they’re famous for the woman they’re with. Tom Brady wouldn’t have laughed if someone said he’s famous for landing Gisele. It really takes an *extreme* sense of self-worth.

Also I think someone who takes himself with that lack of seriousness is reaaally good for Taylor longterm. Like I can’t see Travis supporting her beefing with a Netflix show lmao yk? He’d be like “eh their joke didn’t quite land but whatever lmao there will be funnier jokes tomorrow” and that’s the energy she needs in her life. He clearly is more than willing to have her back on big things but I think it takes a lot to really bother him and she needs that lack of fragility in her life imo. As big a fan of hers as he is, I really don’t get “yes baby do whatever u want ur valid” vibes from him.

And because he loves attention and is silly, he’s also really supportive of her being silly. I can’t imagine CH reveling in Taylor being the noisiest supporter at his gig. Shit, I can’t imagine Harry being happy about his gf going harder than anyone else at the show (obvi his gfs always support but nowhere near Taylor at Chiefs games levels). But Taylor loves going hard and having fun and Travis likes doing that and likes her doing it and idk it’s a good match and very cute 🥰

[bi-buck-coded]

WIP Wednesday

✨Thursday Edition✨

Important note/question at the end under the cut?? Please read it :( it's important to me. Here's potential scene one to NPC fic (it will most likely change if im being honest but I need feedback).

Tagged by: @honestlydarkprincess @buddiearemydads @ebdaydreamer @usercowboy

Sara speed-walks her way to the ping pong table, almost tripping, but catching herself before any of the others can see. “Guys- guys!” she says, “You will not believe what I just found!” Her voice comes out half whisper half yell. At the ping pong table Stan is writing a tally on his score-keeping note pad while Jess and Tom argue over the last play. When they hear Sara coming they turn their heads. 

“This isn’t over, I swear we’ve never played with those rules,” Jess says to Tom as Sara reaches them.

“Well Stan’s already given the point out so I think I’ll let him decide-”

“The point went to Bradshaw.”

“-nothing. He will decide nothing because you can hit the ball before it bounces.” Tom crosses his arms and looks defiantly at the other two. Jess looks over to stan and rolls her eyes. “I saw that!”

“Guys! Can you listen to me?” Sara looks around before pulling out her phone. “I know I said I was taking a break from online dating after that catfish incident, but I went on this hookup app last night - for reasons - anyway and look what I found.” She turns her phone relieving a profile boasting the username firehose. A shirtless mirror selfie in black and white shows at the top of the profile. The flash and the phone block out the user’s face. 

“Okay so you found some guy with the cheesiest username known to man why do we care?” Jess asks. Sara turns the phone back to herself, scrolls down a little, and then flips the phone back to her awaiting crowd. “Oh my god, why did he choose a blowjob angle?” She takes the phone into her own hands and stares open mouthed. 

“I’m sorry, he chose the name firehose?” Tom scrunches his face in confusion. “I get the joke, big dick or whatever, but why would you ever swipe on a guy who chooses the name firehose?” Stan laughs and grabs the phone for himself to scroll through the phone. Picture after shirtless picture stare back at him. Jess smirks.

“Maybe it actually means he com-”

“I mean he looks good in these pictures, sure, but then his prompts are so bad! ‘I go crazy for…’ and then he just put ‘you’. ‘My biggest regret is…’ ‘the opportunities I didn’t take’.” Stan pauses to laugh at that. “What? That one doesn’t even sound right!” Tommy takes the phone next.

“Would it be bad to say I’d swipe right?” The group looks at Sara and she turns her head to look away. “As if you wouldn’t,” she mumbles.

The sound of an engine backing into the bay startles them out of their bubble. Sara takes her phone from Tommy and locks it before putting it in her pocket. They watch as Buck climbs out of the engine and jogs up the stairs. “Oh my god,” Sara mouths at the others who all have wide eyes. They stand there quietly for a second, too scared to breath. It feels as if someone could tell what they were just talking about from any sudden movement. 

“They charge you extra for the full detail?” They hear Chimney say above them. Tom holds back a laugh while Sara clamps her hand over her mouth and stares wide eyed at Jess who’s biting back her own laugh. 

“So the game was 3-0 Bradshaw-” the alarm blares, cutting Stan off, and they’re off getting into their gear and the engine. “Do you think it was on these seats or-”

So I dont really know how I feel about this, writing third person omniscient (or kind of really third-person objective because idk how to write omniscient well) was weird for me and idk if I can really make it better? I'm thinking about just switching to text threads only? Idk read this and if you want in the tags you can give feedback on what might make it better or if you like the idea of just texts, because in my head texts would just make more sense? / I could make it funnier? idk in my head I feel like it'd be funnier if it were texts. Please give thoughts im begging.

[gregmarriage]

tom would play ‘never gonna give you up’ for greg and be like “how i feel about you <3” or some gay shit like that. greg doesn’t really know the song outside of the rick roll meme and thinks tom’s messing with him. greg is entirely unaware that tom is in fact, not messing with him and thinks he’s being super romantic and greg is totally about to swoon over him

[licantropa]

YO! are you a mind reader?? I’ve literally had the Spark & Capsize being alts as a frequent unshared thought. I’ve been racking my brain on this more so I’ll even share why! (Although I can’t articulate my thoughts for shit, so it’s more a ramble of an idea of something 😅)

I don’t think ‘alts’, as explained to us by Martha & S2 Ianite, exist. It’s less that the other person in another realm is you exactly, they’re more your twin, and twins aren’t the same person. Even that analogy would be wrong, because twins have the same beginning, alts don’t (at least not necessarily).

It’s the big ol’ psychology question; nature or nurture? What makes us…us? Is it our dna, are we predisposed to act/like/ think a certain way? Or is it our environment, the way we were brought up? And that’s the big issue with Alts! There are so many little things that make us an individual that even when met with someone else who is “us”, they still wouldn’t be.

It’s their history! Sort off. More their story has a similar pathing. Like Spark and Capsize, they’ve both lived a life surrounded in Ianitee culture, caught the attention of their (respective) Ianite, and went on a journey on behalf of her health. But they’re both very different people! Capsize leans on destruction and violence, arguably its what her situation has demanded of her. Spark leans more so towards the creation and diplomatic side of things, given that it’s what his own situation called for.

Andor and Jordan, I feel they follow a similar path. Both of them being in a culture they know very little of. Sort of like kids of immigrants whose parents ‘americanized’ them. A very distant relationship with a culture, even if they want to learn it. And they both have a distant relationship with their (respective) Ianites. Never really getting to meet her before having to leave. And for Andor, it becomes to late to ever get to know her past the little he heard/did know. For Jordan, he meets too many versions of her, at a certain point one must become disillusioned and disappointed by a goddess who is and isn’t the lady he never got to truly meet.

And!! What you said with Botan and Wag! Yes yes yes!! Both having killed gods to gain power and the way they go about it being different! And on top of all of that they have a similar look. (I think the funnier route would’ve been having Nvidia be Wag’s alt. But lore wise Botan is super good choice)

On the flip side of all of this you have Alyssa and Sonja. There’s nothing connecting them, mostly because Alyssa is literally still growing up and a child (if my math is right she’s 16 by the time Mot goes back to Ruxomar), not to mention they look nothing alike and don’t follow the same god. (Alyssa in an entirely different religion altogether)

Even then, I think you can mix n match because it’s less about the people and more the specific event paralleling/mirroring. Which is why I said a while ago s2 Dia and Capsize’s deaths were similar.

ISLES IANITE TOM N JORDAN!!!! That’s just Capsize Tom n Jordan all over again!!!! at least for the one bit where Tom pretends to be on team Ianite and Jordan doesn’t believe him. I might not have watched isles but the situation reminds me way to much of s1. Also I don’t know it verbatim but when asked what she [isles Ianite] had done for him, Jordan responds with “Nothing”. That’s exactly how it went for him with Capsize! She gave him nothing! And he felt irritated all the same with her when she paid more attention to Tom!! Like the situation is similar but I wouldn’t say that that version of Ianite is capsize just because she n Jordan don’t get along. That wouldn’t be fair to her character. That situation however, very reminiscent of what went done s1, just lacking the romantic aspect of it.

History seems to be similar across realms not exactly the same but certainly similar…

But I mean even after all of these words I still could be very wrong, so who knows. Certainly not me.

((On your OCverse stuff. You don’t have to confront that, me personally? I respect just taking characters from franchises and like morphing em into your own. I’ve done that! I think it’s fine! Idk if this super long over explanation of something I don’t understand has helped you, but if it does great! also you don’t have to apologize for tag rambles, I like reading tags 🥰))

I don’t take Martha and Capsize to be alts. Personally, I think that’s a boring way to go about their characters.

To be fair, I also think the same about Steve and Wag canonically being alts.

In general the topic of what makes someone an alt is a bit headache inducing. They aren’t the complete opposites but also they’re a reflection of you but also they aren’t you in the way that it matters to be you but also their biggest strength is your biggest flaw but also…you know what I mean?

Maybe I just don’t get it.

[frodo-with-glasses]

Thoughts from the last few chapters

A Knife in the Dark

Ah okay phew Fatty Bolger is fine. Scarred for life, maybe, but alive. That’s the important thing.

Butterburr is such a simple man and a good host that even the potential of any of his guests getting hurt, regardless of whether or not they actually were, makes him go >8-O

Aragorn: “We’re gonna be delayed for three hours :-|” The hobbits: “Well at least we get breakfast!”

Tolkien brings the WHOLE STORY to a SCREECHING HALT to assure us that the hobbits’ ponies made it back to Tom Bombadil who eventually sold them to Butterburr and they lived happy lives ever after and I’m not saying Tolkien was a horse girl but Tolkien was a horse girl

One thing we missed in the movies was that ALL OF BREE comes out to watch the hobbits and Aragorn leave and if that isn’t small-town energy then I don’t know what is

Did Tolkien ever visit the American Midwest?? Because those Neekerbreekers sound a whole lot like the hellish half-cousin of cicadas. Not that cicadas aren’t hellish to begin with.

SAM DOES POETRY and we’re all very proud of him

Aragorn: *nerds out about Beren and Luthien* Me: *SNOOOOORE*

Ah yes, Thingol. King Thingol. Turin’s barely-there foster dad, Thingol. Dad Joke Man of Doriath Thingol. ….That Thingol?

FRODO STABBED THE RINGWRAITH LET’S GOOOOO

Flight to the Ford

Sam stands over the wounded Frodo to protect him what a good lad ;-;

Movie!Frodo after being stabbed: *AGONIZED SCREAMS AND WHEEZES AND CHOKING* Book!Frodo after being stabbed: “Ow. Ow. Ooh mountains. Who built that? Can’t see my friends. Ow. :-/”

THE TROOOOOLLS

Weak and wounded as he is, Frodo knows immediately that Sam made up the song about the troll himself, and takes the time to say “well look at you go, I’m so proud of you :-D” they’re so frickin’ cute I’m dead

GLORFINDEL GLORFINDEL GLORFINDEL GLORFINDEL GLORFINDEL

IT’S MY MAN LET’S GOOOOO

Frodo: “I’m not gonna leave my friends in danger!” Glorfindel: “Your friends would be in far less danger if you left! :-)” Frodo: “Oh :-.”

Thinking of the whole flight to the ford with the sound of bells constantly ringing on Asfaloth’s mane makes the whole thing simultaneously funnier and more dire. Here’s a beautiful house, bred in the joy and safety of an elven kingdom, decked out with bells because of course a jolly old elf would put bells on his horse, and now those bells are the only things screaming of joy and happiness and hope in a desperate fight to outrun darkness and death and despair. Kinda poetic, actually. But also DING DING DING DING DING DING DING

Frodo makes it across the Ford by himself! On horseback! Barely conscious! And sits up in the saddle and draws his sword and TELLS THE RINGWRAITHS TO GO BACK TO HELL! GO OFF FRODO, GET IT, KING!

Many Meetings

“A chat with Gandalf” ought to be an idiom for unwieldy amounts of exposition. Seriously, every time Frodo and Gandalf sit down to talk it’s like 5-7 pages of infodump.

Elves can do surgery. This is canon.

Frodo was partly transparent?? Wow. I wonder if that ever lingered in any way……

Elrond made the flood, and Gandalf added horses and boulders just because he’s ExtraTM.

SAM. IS. ADORABLE. But more on that later.

Tolkien: *waxes eloquent about Arwen* Me: *SNOOOOOORE*

Frodo was so surprised and delighted to see one of Bilbo’s old traveling companions that he sat up too fast and scattered all his cushions. And then Gloin helps him pick them all up again. This is the cutest darn thing.

BILBOOOOOO

LINDIRRRRRRR

Bilbo and Aragorn write songs together and Bilbo teases him about his love life this is adorable

The music literally cuts out when the Ring-thirst overcomes Bilbo. This is some big-picture movie stuff and I’m reading a book that was written over half a century ago.

Sam comes to Bilbo’s room to say it’s time for Frodo to go to sleep how homey and sweet I’m done

[secretlyblue12]

Day 6: Full Moon

More lee tommy because I am predicatable XD I like to think that things like this would have happened a lot when Tommy was younger, where it was them being playful and stuff with each other.

“Shut up! You’re lying. I’ll tell Phil that-” Tommy whined, looking fearfully up to the moon that had started to peek out from behind the clouds. Wilbur had to be lying, there was no such thing as full moon monsters, Tommy’s sure he would have heard of one if there were, it’s not like having a full moon was a rare thing after all.

Wilbur remained adamant though, “I’m not, go ahead and ask him when he gets home then. He’s not going to be back for at least another few days though, so that isn’t going to help you tonight when they come out.” Tommy glared at the older boy, but Wilbur didn’t seem to feel any of the pain and hatred he was channeling into the stare. “Honestly, I can’t believe you haven’t heard them before. It’s getting late though, so unless you want to come face to face with a full moon monster you better get off to bed.”

Now, Tommy was grown, he was already eleven, and he wasn’t going to be afraid of some made-up monster. It was decided then, “No.”

“No? What do you mean, no?”

Tommy folded his arms across his chest and stuck his chin out. “I’m staying up, and I’ll fight this so-called ‘full moon monster’, that is if it’s real, which it isn’t!” He said in his big man voice he’d been practicing. “And then you’ll have to admit you were lying.”

Wilbur rolled his eyes at the younger blonde. “Alright then, you’ll see here in about another thirty minutes then. They only come out after the sun’s fully set.”

Tommy shifted to look back through the glass, eyes rolling over the open fields and through the sparse trees. He knew Wilbur had to be lying, but he also was expecting Wilbur to put up more of a fight against it. Thirty minutes was a long time to wait.

He turned when he heard Wilbur shuffling around, getting up and walking to the hallway where both of their bedrooms were. “Where are you going?” He asked, voice definitely not sounding more afraid. There was nothing to be afraid of, but if Wilbur was leaving Tommy out to wait by himself then-

“I’m just getting ready for bed. I’ll be back out in a minute, wouldn’t want the monsters to actually get you. Phil’d be pretty cross with me if I let that happen.” He said over his shoulder, not bothering to turn towards Tommy or stop on his way down the hall. “Be back out in a few minutes.”

And so Tommy waited with bated breath, though he wasn’t sacred. No, of course he wasn’t. And then ten minutes went by, and the sun sunk lower. And after twenty there was only a sliver of light left, and Wilbur stumbled back into the room dressed in his pajamas, trying to convince Tommy one more time to go to bed. “You can do this next full moon if you want, but I really just want to sleep, Toms. Come on, it’s already past your usual bedtime.” But Tommy shook his head, eyes flickering to the glowing circle in the sky. “‘M not even tired yet Wilby. You can go to bed, I’ll wait for the monsters by myself.”

Wilbur huffed, sitting down so that he and Tommy were both twisted to look through the window. “I can’t let you do that all by yourself. You wouldn’t be able to handle it.”

And so they waited for the sun to disappear entirely, Tommy starting to lean ever so slightly into Wilbur’s side, and for the first time in months not putting up a fight when the older wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

Then the only light source in the house were the lanterns dangling from the ceiling.

There was quiet, the only sounds left were the wildlife buzzing gently outside, and Tommy’s own breathing which fogged up the glass which separated them.

“Did you hear that?” Wilbur’s voice whispered suddenly in his ear. Tommy jumped, half turning to look at his brother’s eyes.

Anxiety churned in his stomach. “What? I didn’t hear anything?” He said, trying to sound braver than he felt.

“They’re here Tommy. I-I think there might be one in the house.”

Tommy whipped around fully, shifting so his back was against the wall and his legs half tangled over Wilbur’s lap. “What do you mean? I didn’t even hear anything, and how would they have gotten in? It’s only just gotten dark, and the doors are locked, we checked.”

“Oh, there’s one in here for sure, Tommy,” Wilbur repeated, grabbing Tommy’s hands tightly. “And he’s ready for his victim.”

Tommy’s eyebrows furrowed, looking around the room distrustfully. “Wilby, wha- Ah! H-hehey, nohoho”

Wilbur moved both of Tommy’s hands into one of his own, using his free to squeeze at his side. Tommy couldn’t even feel anything but relief for a moment, realizing that Wilbur just thought he was funnier than he really was. “Nohot fair! Wihilbehey, stohop it.”

Tommy tried to squirm away from the offending hand, but couldn’t get far in the cramped window space. “Wilby? Who’s Wilby? I’m the full moon monster, coming to tickle little boys who don’t believe and try to stay up past their bedtimes. Hmm, now here’s the perfect boy in need of a reminder not to be a nuisance, do you want to know what full moon monsters do?”

Tommy couldn’t believe what he was hearing, well, he could, but he didn’t want to. “Ihi’m not a nuhusahance! Shuhut up, you’re nohot fuhunehey Wihill.”

Will carried on as if Tommy didn’t say anything, moving from squeezing his side to spidering across his stomach and sneaking under his shirt when he could. “Monsters like myself, we feed off of laughter and smiles, which means that ticklish gremlins such as yourself make the perfect candidate for a feast. Now, where is going to get the best reaction? Your belly here seems like a good spot, doesn’t it?”

Tommy kicked out when the scribbling feelings that made tingles shoot through his veins switched to a familiar and deadly claw digging into the soft squishy parts of his middle. Much to Wilburs amusement, he couldn’t seem to control his reactions, letting a high-pitched squeal slip past.

“IHEHE- Wihilbehey! Nahat there! Ihit tihickles,” Tommy managed through his cackly laughter. Wilbur just shook his head though.

“Good, it’s meant to tickle! I knew this would be a good spot too, look at that reaction. You can barely talk at all. If you don’t want me to tickle here though, I guess you could tell me where you want me to move.” He teased, chuckling along with Tommy, though straightening up after a second to get back in character. “Any spot in mind then?’

Tommy’s felt his cheeks heating up, shaking his head and trying to lean over the edge of the window seat, though Wilbur was doing a pretty good job at keeping him in place. His entire body felt like a limp noodle, he couldn’t pull or push Wil away at all.

His breath caught in his throat, and even though Wilbur was enjoying the slight bullying he slowed down to let Tommy recover, keeping his fingers fluttering around his neck just enough to keep him giggling and soft.

“Does the boy have a spot in mind then, or is he ready to listen to his older brother and get ready for bed now that the moon is so high in the sky?”

Tommy leaned into Wilburs hand slightly, not quite able to force the complacent smile off his face. “Yohou’re an idiot.”

Throwing Tommy an unamused look Wilbur reached down to vibrate his hand into Tommy’s ribs, sending the preteen jolting forward and collapsing into his chest. It wasn’t long before Tommy’s laughter had gotten to be a bit more on the wheezier side, and he finally gave in.

“Ihi’ll go toho behed! Stahap, stahapihit! Plehe- Wihilbuhur! Yohou win!”

Wilbur brought his palm flat against Tommy’s ribs, rubbing out the feeling and finally letting go of his wrist in favor of combing his fingers through his blonde curls. “Alright then, that wasn’t that difficult now was it.”

Tommy groaned into his collarbone, not bothering to give a proper response.

“Fine, fine. Let’s just get you to your room then, at least this way you’ll be worn out enough to sleep all night.”

Tommy thought he probably was right, his whole brain felt a bit fuzzy now, and Wilbur had to practically guide him into his bed. The older tucked him in, reaching over and switching his lamp off. “Good night, Tommy. I’ll see you in the morning, alright.”

“Mhm,” Tommy hummed into his pillow, curling himself up into a comfy little ball. “Night, see you t’morrow.”

Wilbur clicked the door shut behind him, and Tommy was once again alone. He peeked his eyes open blearily, rubbing away the ghost memories of fingers on his stomach when he found the moon staring back at him through his bedroom window. “Stupid full moon, stupid monsters.” He mumbled, before letting himself sink into the warmth of his bed, closing his eyes to get away from the offending ball in the sky.

He wouldn’t be able to get away for long though, because his dreams were filled with adventures of moon monsters chasing him all around the house.

[suzie-shooter]

Liveblog reactions to Alex Rider season 2 under the cut. Well, mostly screaming about Yassen to be fair, with the others getting an occasional look in. (Major, MAJOR spoilers under the 'keep reading', but it's episode by episode).

Episode 1: Surf From the S1 recap:  "No hospital in London has any record of him being brought in." "Maybe they spelt his name wrong?" Yeah, they couldn't find me on the system for my covid booster because my name had been entered in all caps, so that's not really that suspicious Alex sorry lol

Yassen above Sabina in the opening credits, I squealed.

Aw, poor little meow meow Alex is in therapy and thinks he's hallucinating Yassen. I mean, good choice.

"Do you think there might be some other reason that this man is important to you?" Yeah, he's hot, next question.

Part of me wants this therapist to be Smithers in a fatsuit.

"I see the man with the scar." Alex knows his name, doesn't he?

Yassen staring intently into a barber shop, possibly intending  to murder whoever gave him the season 1 haircut.

Wait so Alex really IS hallucinating Yassen? Somehow that's even funnier.

"South of France?" I see what you did there.

"Including rain." Tom's clearly been to Cornwall before.

And there was only one tent.

Somebody make me a gifset of Alex running along the cliff combined with the shot of Levin running along the cliff in Smother. I'll pay.

Wait, that's not Cornwall. Is that Clovelly? It is!

"Do you know how many months' work this represents?" Then why are you wandering round with it in loose sheets of hardcopy you tool?

Alex climbing the harbour wall when there's a ladder *right next to him* lmao

"See you around. Maybe." Sabina giving Alex inadvertant flashbacks probably.

Menacing Yassen!foot. Scorpia: sponsored by Hush Puppies.

Tom has found his people in the nerd corner. Suspect offering unsolicited advice would be more likely to get him punched in the face tbh.

I feel they missed a trick here by at no point delivering me Yassen in a wetsuit.

"Are you camping?" No I always stand like this.

The Pleasances are having internet problems and are in no way suspicious of the fact they've managed to get a same day engineer. In some very familiar overalls.

"You've gone pale." It's probably hypothermia by now tbh.

I know Jack and Tom knew where he was going, but it's still funny that they immediately associate Alex with the massive explosion.

Episode 2: Hunt Is that rhyming slang? (For Blunt, obviously. Don't be rude.)

Not that I'm obsessed, but I have little to say about ep 2 because it has no Yassen. I disapprove in the strongest terms, and like S1E3 it is henceforth dead to me. Seriously, 2 episodes in and he's had what, one line? I feel like they're wasting him. We'd better get *something* of the interactions from Eagle Strike or what's the point? Although he was featured so little in the promo that I fear it's all been ditched.

This episode does at least have the return of Smithers, who I still love. "Hi honey, I'm home" <3

Episode 3: Mirror Ohhh, K7's going to turn out to be Kyra, right?

Smithers, rather than just saying he saw the motorbike on all the cameras he had on the house, has gone for claiming he tracked the man down based on his pants. Ok hun.

"I'm looking for a friend." I'll be your friend Yassen.

Yassen is not impressed by Smoking Mirror's desk hygiene.

Yassen: not running up no fucking stairs.

Don't shoot at your boy toy!

Ok, I'll forgive them the lack of Yassen in ep 2 in return for that single  oh-so-italicised whispered "Alex."

Just noticed they've corrected the spelling of Gregorovich in the credits, thank you.

Ep 4: Trouser-snake, sorry, Serpent "The one with the bullets through it." Yassen is not a subtle man. Although I'm not sure shooting the screen would really achieve anything.

Ok, Tom setting the fire alarm off with his lighter is smart but couldn't he just have hit an alarm point?

Alex: putting the ass into underage asset.

Charlie's a dick to Evelyn. I hope Yassen kills him. No, actually I hope Evelyn kills him.

Toby Stephens keeps weirdly reminding me of Damian Lewis in this.

After all the build up, the game feels like it could do with a bit more than just the shooty skeleton things?

KYRA! Called it.

Yassen immediately lying to protect Alex for no personal profit or benefit, we love to see it. I'm kind've lamenting the loss of all their interactions from the start of the book? But on the flip side nearly all the Yassen content we're getting is new this way.

Ep 5: Threats Cray's brother in hilariously stereotypical druggie death shocker.

"Wait, who is Yassen?" The man of Alex's dreams. Literally.

Vicky McClure, annoying me with her pronunciation of Gregorovich since 2020.

Sorry but I like Evelyn.

Couldn't they just have gone to the school at midnight or something?

"I can't get him out of my head." <3

"There's blood on your hands." Ouch, very ouch.

Charlie, you gon' die boi.

Ep 6: Heist Amsterdam! Will we get the epic chase?

Are they breaking into Ikea?

"You haven't met Sabina yet, have you?" Fuck off Tom.

Yassen is Up To Something. Also: big on fruit. Someone give him a banana next. For reasons.

Ah, a stitch-up. Yassen: much lurk, very stealth.

Ep 7: Assassin   I see they've immediately pegged Kyra as the brains of the operation lol

Damian Cray's terrible no good very bad day.

Maybe run in opposite directions if two of you are being shot at by a single drone?

For a game freak Cray's a terrible shot. This is why you pay professional assassins love.

Okay, Yassen in scrubs is a kink I didn't know I had.

Yassen what the FUCK is that pose you're doing in the background of that Cray/Sabina shot?? I'm dying.

Ep 8: Strike I AM NOT READY FOR THIS AND WHAT IS PRESUMABLY COMING.

Handsy Yassen searching Alex YES HELLO I THINK HE NEEDS A STRIP SEARCH. I mean, it happens all the time in the books, it wouldn't be that outlandish, heh.

"He trusted the people he worked with." Have you been betrayed by someone /you/ worked with Yassen? If we get a third series, be interesting to see how they square the whack continuity.

Yassen and Alex walking in front of a big sign that says HORN is making me giggle.

OH it's a thumbprint. I somehow assumed Alex had been walking around with some kind of deadly toxin in his back pocket all this time.

"Kill them both." "No." aklsfhKDSJGsg

"Who the hell are you and what are you doing in my chair?" Smithers/Kyra BFFs

Alex trying to wind Yassen up and Yassen just looking vaguely fond lol.

"How'd you get that scar?" Yeah, who knows, cos we ditched the flashback. Actually is it just me, or is the scar more subtle/less noticable this season? Did so many people write in going "what the /fuck/ is that?" XD

Yassen: does like an overall.

Christ, Yassen taking off his hood shouldn't be that hot.

Alex just lamped that guy (thank you I'm here all week)

Did they just take the time to take off their suits while the fate of half the world is at stake?

Did - did Alex just - WAS IT ALEX WHO SHOT HIM BY ACCIDENT wait, no, ok, on replay I think it was Cray. That would have been a sucker punch twist.

TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM YOU COWARD. No? We've lost that as well have we? They really did say fuck all the Yassen/Alex content huh.

(Seriously by this point they've ditched so much I'm not sure Yassen's defence of Alex even makes sense any more. Okay, John, but they didn't bother with the flashback jungle scene, so other than Yassen's watered down 'he was my friend' there's no context for why he cares about either of them, we lost the conversation from Stormbreaker that they didn't bother putting into Point Blanc, we lost the whole boat scene, we lost the Amsterdam scenes (ok they reworked a bit of it before the plane but minus getting to show Yassen being proud of/amused by Alex's escape. Does any of this make much sense if you haven't read the books?)

AND I WILL FORGIVE THEM ALL OF IT FOR WHAT HAPPENS NEXT. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH. FUUUUUCKKKKK. Omg. OMG OMG OMG. The 'Yassen Gregorovich lives' tag just became canon. This is all I ever wanted.

Is Tom doing the play in that fucking beanie?

And they're off to find Scorpia. Although I don't think Yassen actually mentioned Venice, so good luck with that.

So....series three when?

[pennylaneforthoughts]

All right the English major in me is coming out to bat, and I can hold it in no longer because my whole darn Honors thesis is on Shakespeare.

So while acknowledging that this is all speculation bc we can't actually know unless Tom and Owen tell us what's up, here's my two cents on the weird Two Gentlemen of Verona thing Tom and Owen evidently have going on.

First of all, y'all should know that it's Hella Weird that this is the play that Owen can quote the first line of. And the reason is that it's Shakespeare's literal worst play. Like not even kidding it's so bad. It's an important play for Shakespeare scholars bc it's his first play, and in it you can see the precursors to his later, much better works like Romeo and Juliet. A sandbox of sorts. But especially in comparison to the rest of his work, it's Really Bad. And because of this, it's not very well known at all, and my Shakespeare professor actively recommended that we not read it for our optional comedy to study.

Let me break it down for y'all.

Basic plot is you've got Valentine and Proteus who have a very homoerotic relationship (if you recall Owen quoting the first line, it's literally Valentine saying "cease to persuade, loving Proteus") but one which is Toxic As Hell, for which Proteus is at fault, stemming from some intense internalized homophobia imo. Valentine leaves Verona, inviting Proteus to come with him, but Proteus is too busy with his fiancée Julia and says no. So off Valentine goes, and he meets the beautiful Silvia and falls in love with her instantly, as you do, but her dad doesn't like it much. Proteus decides he misses his Bro and ditches Julia to go after him. Upon finding Valentine with Silvia, he gets pissed and decides he wants Silvia for himself (tho you could argue this is out of internalized homophobia fueled jealousy) and purposefully gets Silvia's dad to banish Valentine. Sucks to be Proteus tho bc Silvia is Not into him and says as much to a disguised Julia who's followed her deadbeat fiancé and found him with this other girl. Silvia loves Valentine tho so she goes off with Proteus and disguised Julia to go find him where he was banished. Proteus doesn't like this tho and right before they find Valentine, he tries to force himself on her. Thankfully he's stopped by Valentine, but there's a really weird line where Valentine either says "whatever if you want her that bad take her" or "all the love I have for her is yours" depending on how you read it. Either way, it's not great bc it glosses over the whole non-con issue from like 2 minutes ago, Julia also reveals herself and then they go "oh yay we're all here now let's get married" and then Valentine ends up with Silvia and Proteus ends up with Julia.

And like, people have mentioned before that you could technically draw a parallel with Sylvie and Silvia bc their names are similar, and that it's kinda like Loki and Mobius bc Valentine leaves Proteus to go after Silvia, and there's the homoerotic implications for Lokius, but really that's where the similarities stop, and comparing Mobius to Proteus is just an insult to Mobius' character tbh.

If we're gonna draw Shakespeare parallels, we could make a much more compelling argument with Twelfth Night (the m/f twin connection is right there) or even Hamlet or Much Ado About Nothing than with Two Gentlemen, so it doesn't make much sense for Tom and Owen to have this inside joke directly related to the Loki series.

And not only is the play deeply problematic as I've illustrated above, it's also poorly written. It's a bad play y'all. That's why nobody knows it. So there is No Way that of all the Shakespeare plays to want to do, Owen Wilson, who has himself said that he has no real familiarity with the Bard other than a college Shakespeare class, would pick Two Gentlemen as his dream Shakespeare production. It makes exactly zero sense whatsoever. (He'd be much, much more suited for a role like Benedick in Much Ado imo)

We do know, however, that Owen is excellent at improvising and likes joking around and messing with people. So I imagine that rather than being a secret lokius joke, it came into being by way of an interaction along these lines:

Tom: So have you ever played Hamlet?

Owen, shook and kinda laughing: Nah, it's not really my typecast so I've never had the opportunity.

Tom, wanting to be encouraging: Aw I'm sure you'd be great in the role! Though I am curious, if you were to be in any Shakespeare play, what would it be?

Owen, wracking his brain for buried play titles from college like thirty years ago: uhhh Two Gentlemen of Verona, maybe???????

Tom, a Shakespeare nerd who knows the play, suddenly Very concerned but polite: oh,,,, is that so?

Owen, noticing the confusion but deciding it'll be funnier to roll with it: yeah I think it's a really compelling story. One of Shakespeare's finest works if you ask me.

Tom, visibly shaking and in a cold sweat: r-really?,,,??,

Owen, busting up laughing: sskdjskksk no not at all! I know like nothing about Shakespeare, cmon. I was Lightning McQueen! I just vaguely remember reading that play in college.

Tom, sighing in relief: oh thank God I was so worried. That's the worst one!

Owen, amused: is it?

Tom, going into professor mode: well you see--

And so it probably became like a "I'm pretending to be pretentious and cultured" sort of inside joke that played a part in their bonding as coworkers and snuck its way into the documentary bc they thought it'd be funny, and they were right. Tbh the way they talked about it sounded a lot like my and my friends riffing on plays in my Shakespeare class, so I'm inclined to believe that that's what they're doing here.