#i think im on like episode six or something
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woah guys they are so coolio
#i started watching one punch man#i think im on like episode six or something#just dance 2018#jd2018#jd18#just dance#jd#digital art#art
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dugon my friend my buddy my pal
#just roll with it#jrwi#potatart#just roll with it riptide#jrwi riptide#dugon#jrwi dugon#gillion tidestrider#okay this interaction was kind of hilarious and dare i say#cute (?)#i have a lot of things wrong with me its ok#no spoilers again im on episode 59#I LIKE THAT DUGON IS MENTIONED IN GILLION'S LIST OF TITLES LIKE SIX TIMES THATS SO FUNNY#guys i think he might be friends with dugon idk tho i might be wrong (joke)#idk aomething about imagining gil still speaking into its ear in primordial#somrthing something i like gillion very much#i love jrwi auuuhggh im gushing again#P.S. UM I MIGHTVE GOTTEN DUGONS SIZE A LITTLE WRONG. FORGIVE ME#I BELIEVE IM CLOSE TO ITS ACCURATE SIZE CUZ OF THAT ONE THUMBNAIL BUT LIKE BLEH#IK ITS SUPPOSED TO BE A LEVIATHAN
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THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH??? (Speaking about the Autism and PMDD statistic specifically)
#yall i think my therapist is onto something#im fighting for my life out here with my periods#it honestly makes a lot more sense than bipolar 2 for me. i dont even fit the criteria for bipolar 2!!!#idk why the hospital i was at in april diagnosed me with type *1*(aka the more severe type that includes manic episodes) considering the#psychiatrist talked to me for like twenty minutes as a whole for the five to six days i was even there#and i dont have enough bpd traits to be diagnosed so that's not something we are really considering anymore#autism + trauma + pmdd= kota's very weird mood swings?#premenstrual dysphoric disorder#pmdd#cptsd#autism#actually autistic#mental health#tw: mental illness#tw: periods#reblog#💫donnie text post💫#💫donnie gets real.tag💫
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#arknights#i should probs make my own play tag for this instead of the main one but i'll figure that out if i make more posts like this. anyway#im finally reading the reunion arc of the main story thanks to the downtime between IC and typhon#(i cleared out all the stages first and now im going back to read cus my memory is so bad i'd forget what happened with how long it took)#poor hoshiguma i dont think she gets paid enough to stop these two from killing each other in cold blood#i find it funny tho that i decided to read lone trail before having read anything past episode 3 cus that one bit where rosmontis is like#'when's amiya coming back i miss her'#i was like (clueless) 'its ok rosmontis i think she just went out to get milk. she'll be back soon'#something tells me i'm due to find out she did not go out to get milk from the corner shop#voice of a guy trying to erase the memory of spending Six Hours trying to beat the last stage of episode 8 yesterday morning#i got distracted. anyway the women are fighting
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well it was bound to happen anyway weren't it I'm not a likeable person I said that the first day we met and it was always going to end like this. Just didn't expect it to be this soon
#the stupidest thing is that this guy from another course fucking noticed#he's not even in most of our shared classes#just whispered to me on the bus if im okay did something happen#and im like. mate i wish i did#tbh it's probably about the assignment thing that one of them's mad about which just proves the existence of the separate group chat#telling myself not to be upset about it because we all fucking saw that coming didn't we#why did i even think it'll be all sunshine and rainbows once i leave the people who's known me since i was six#let's just see if i can manage to fuck off to the uk for my second and third years#idk i might need to start selling stuff and maybe work during the next sem break so i can go next september#idk im just. so tired#i got that 3.95 something cgpa for what im still fucking alone even if i do get that 4.0 it still won't matter#it just means im good at studying#and it looks fucking pathetic#im having war flashbacks of jm3 when i was bullied and the people sittinh next to me would pull their tables away from me#so im alone in the middle of the classroom#except now they're talking over my head like im not even there which i can't tell is worse or not#i just want to be away from this place and i still have a whole fucking day tomorrow for the week#its getting harder to get out of bed idk if it's correlated but fuck if im not getting into another episode#daisy talks
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okay so:
the year is 2021. the month is june. the new season of hermitcraft, season 8, has just started, and everything is great! the hermits are all messing around, having fun, building insane things within the first week of the server being active, and generally having a good time. everyone's collected themselves into little factions, pranking each other, and it's all the fun, lighthearted, mostly-vanilla content hermitcraft is known for.
and then the split between minecraft versions 1.18 and 1.19 is announced. the delay of new terrain, and especially of new mobs like the warden, considerably disrupt several of the hermits' plans. but it's fine, they'll figure something out, they're professionals, and it mostly goes unnoticed.
about two weeks later, on november 9th, grian turns to mumbo jumbo in one of his episodes, and asks the famous question that would seal hermitcraft season 8's fate:
"mumbo, is the moon... big?"
suddenly, the fans panic. they search back through videos and streams, and realize that the moon had been abnormally large and stuck in a full-moon phase since october 30th. the Moon Big event has begun.
this is where the roleplay really starts. once the moon's size has been brought up, the hermits start a weird combination of scrambling to figure out why the moon's growing, and how to stop it- but also of ignoring it, hoping it won't be a problem, hoping someone else will deal with it. the moon keeps getting bigger, more hermits start realizing it's going on, and a creeping sense of dread starts to grow. but it's fine. it's fine, right? they do little plotlines like this all the time. they'll figure something out, the moon will go back to normal, and we'll laugh about it when this is all over. it's fine.
and then, blocks start flying away. just floating up out of the ground, and falling right back down! like for a moment, a square meter chunk of dirt has decided it's a ballerina and leaped out of the ground! but it's fine, right? the blocks are coming back. no lasting harm is done. they're going to fix it all... right?
the moon gets bigger. it's growing every day- local hermit weirdguy joe hills measures it every stream. the blocks start flying higher. gravity starts getting... weird, with players getting the slow falling effect at random, and being lifted off of the earth themselves. the players form cults and rituals and whatnot to try and appease the moon, convince it to leave them alone, making plans to escape. nothing works. things keep getting worse, and the moon keeps getting bigger. but it'll be fine. these storylines never leave lasting harm, or at least they never have before. they'll be fine.
and then the blocks stop coming back, just floating into the sky forever. the players have the slow falling effect more than they don't now. the moon is now so big it's visible even during the day, and fills the entire sky at night. they start planning their escapes in earnest, and say their goodbyes. some hermits jump into a void hole in the overworld (it was the centerpiece of their village). some flee to the End, some to the nether, some just fly with elytras and hope they can get far enough away in time. one brave hermit, tango, flies himself to the moon in a futile attempt to blow the whole thing up before it can crash.
but in the end, the moon crashes into the server, and everything they'd built was destroyed. and the whole time, there'd been nothing any of them could've done. season eight was over, a full six months before anyone had expected it to end, and season nine wouldn't start until about three months later. and im still not okay about it.
(here's a cool animatic of the moon's crash! honestly i dont think you need too much hermitcraft knowledge to get the gist)
(also the moon crash happened on the day before my birthday lmao.)
….
holy shit
#ok ok let me see if i have the timeline correctly:#1) s8 begins in June and so does the new update announcement#2) months go by with no issue (that they’re aware of)#3) it’s in November when they realize the moon has been growing#4) does the moon crash in January???#but gawddam#that is one apocalypse story if I’ve heard of one#also fitting bc i think it was 2021 where we were getting a LOT of asteroid/moon fall movies#idk what was in the air (possibly the pandemic that led to unforced isolation & ppl coped with apocalypse stories)#and somehow that bled through to a Minecraft server???? somehow?????#wild#this also reminds me of an apocalypse movie i watched with a friend called ‘3 Días’#very good movie btw#highly recommend (it is a Spanish only film which i don’t think will be an issue bc subtitles)#anyway#asks#smp 101 with gumy#hermitcraft edition!
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Read These Frequently Asked Questions Before You Send An Ask!
Patreon | Ko-Fi | Youtube
Heyo! I get a TON of asks each day, so I'm making this post so that folks know what's already been asked so my followers don't have to see the same stuff over and over, haha.
Hi! I'm Punkitt! I'm a game developer, artist, editor, director, and a bunch of other stuff! I'm working on an RPG called Astral Guard, a platformer called Susan Taxpayer, and I have a couple more fun projects in my pocket like Happup and Super Mario Death Row.
Did you know you look like weird al?
YES jesus fucking christ i get told this every day. if u send me a message in my inbox saying i look like weird al im killing you with like wizard spells and shit.
Why do you have so many hats? Do you know you have that many hats?
ye i like hats. :) free tumblr badges for one pea i like one piece and took as many as i could. free.
Where can I find your art/game development/horsecomix?
Great question! Everything I make that's my own and not a reblog is under "my posts", every bit of art I do is under "my art", any game development I do is under "gamedev", you can find all my MLP art under "mlp, my art" or "horsecomix" for the best stuff. I also have an "animations" tag and a "shitposts" tab. I also properly tag all my asks to be asks and write out the asker's name, so if you don't wanna see those just mute the ask tag.
Do you have a Patreon or a Ko-Fi?
I do have a ko-fi here! I also JUST launched a Patreon, which you can find here :)
What do you use for your art?
I use FireAlpaca and Paint.net for misc. effects!
What are you using to make your games?
I use FireAlpaca do make my assets! Astral Guard, Happup, and any other top-down RPG games I make are all made in RPGMaker 2003. Susan Taxpayer is made in SMBX2 Beta 4, a Mario fangame engine with lua support!
Why are you using a 2-decade-plus engine to make games?
It's fun!
Do you have a sideblog or something for your art?
Not right now! What you see is what you get. I do have a sideblog for Astral Guard though, if you want to follow that game specifically! @astral-guard
Can I make an OC based on your work? ABSOLUTELY!!!!!!! THATS THE COOLEST THING EVER!!!! LET ME KNOW IF YOU DO!!!! I WANNA SEE!!!!
Can I do dubs/redraws of your comics? As long as you credit me! I get a ton of notifs each day, so if you wanna show me (and PLEASE i so do wanna see fun dubs and redraws!!!) tag me or DM me!
Can I use your art as a PFP? Sure! Just credit me somewhere. :D
Are you the one who trapped her coworkers in a room and made them listen to TF2 lore?
Yep! Everyone had a blast actually. :]
Did you make that comic where Fluttershy eats the weed brownie/Rainbow Dash has a male living space/someone has a cutie mark that says they'll kill Ronald Reagan?
Yep! That's me.
Where are you in MLP right now?
Currently just finished Season 7! Haven't watched the movie yet.
Have you watched Equestria Girls?
Yep! Thought it was super cute. I watched up to Rainbow Rocks and plan on watching more.
What's your opinion on MLP so far?
I love it! I think it's cute. I really don't agree that there was some sort of huge quality drop after season 2 or whatever.
What do you think of G5?
Not my style! I don't really like either animation types and it just seems like I'm not in the audience anymore. That's totally chill, but it just doesn't grab me!
Have you watched any other MLP stuff from previous generations?
Nope! But I did see a compilation called Minty Being Autistic for Six Minutes Straight that I loved. she's perfect.
Favorite pony?
Don't got one, I love all the Mane Six a LOT, but I'm particularly fond of Fluttershy, Applejack, and Rarity!
Favorite episode/season?
I'm so bad at picking favorites! But any season past Season 1 I have a blast with because I feel like it's just more my style. I don't have a favorite episode, but the most recent one I can remember LOVING is the one where Starlight bottles up her emotions because it was REALLY funny.
Do you like Pony.mov?
Nope! And stop saying my stuff reminds you of it, it's a lil annoying!
Have you watched the Mentally Advanced Series/Friendship is Witchcraft/Other fandom vids?
Probably not! My interaction with the MLP fandom prior to last year was pretty minimal, so I'm making my way through the show first!
What do you think of Fallout: Equestria?
I think it's super weird but really fun because of that. I've never properly read any of it but it's very fascinating to me.
Are you transgender?
Yep! I go by she/her, I'm a trans woman. Have been for many years, but I only recently came out online!
Are you a lesbian?
Nah, I'm bisexual!
Can I commission you?
Yeah! I only have my commissions available on my Ko-Fi at certain times though, so keep an eye out! I usually announce slots being open at least 12 hours beforehand. Slots are usually first come first serve, but we'll see.
Can I use your art as a Discord emote?
Yeah man i'm not scouring every discord on the planet to find stickers of my work. i think it owns if people take my stuff and make it stupid injoke emotes between friends that makes me very happy.
Can I send you an ask inquiring about gender dysphoria?
I feel like this is beyond my capabilities of advice! I'm actually very comfortable with my body and I have been for many years, so I don't know if I can give any good or helpful advice on that front. Apologies, but there are many resources out there where you can ask about those things if you look for them, like Discord channels!
Favorite Color?
I'm a sucker for blue!
Favorite coffee?
Can't drink coffee, my stomach is cringe.
Favorite tea?
I'm lame and can't drink most tea but I love this one orange-flavored tea a lot. I also LOVE ice tea.
Can I say you're horsegender/punkittgender/a little gender goblin void thing?
Well, I can't stop you, but I'm kind of beyond that phase now! I really am a boring ol' plain she/her girl, and I like it that way. It's not much, but it's honest gender.
What's your favorite game series?
Mother, Kingdom Hearts, Mario, and I USED to say Fallout, but I found out I'm really only a big Fallout New Vegas fan.
Favorite game from those?
Mother 3 is one of my fave games of all time! I love KHII, and I'm tied for SMB3 and SMW. Also Fallout New Vegas fucks hard.
Any other favs?
Bug Fables, SLARPG, and TF2!
Favorite Movie?
Everything Everywhere All At Once, no question.
Oh, are you going to college?
Yep! I'm a film/theater major.
Do you have a YouTube channel?
Yeah! Click right here for it, I stream there and upload footage of my games/animations/my film projects + other stuff.
What is that little orange creature I see?
That's bweenop, my little persona that I use when I'm feeling a little scrunkly.
Do you have a ponysona?
Yep! Her name is Star Magnolia, you can search her on the blog to see art of her.
When will Susan Taxpayer/Astral Guard/etc. be out?
No clue! I take things slow, that's just how I am.
How do you work on so many things at once?
I make small, satisfying amounts of progress! I never try to complete one giant thing all at once, I just like doing small bursts of fun stuff. I got ADHD, so I learn to work with it.
Did you know you look like Weird Al?
Im going to run you over with a clown car watch out
WHY do you work on so many things at once?
Fun! I like learning, I like making cool stuff, and I like showing it to people :)
Do you need any help with your projects?
Potentially! I'll probably put out a post asking for help if I need it.
If you could be a horse, would you?
You kidding me? Several ton beasts with the frailty of a sickly Victorian boy; my clumsy ass would never survive.
Are you some sort of...furry?
yeag
Why do you reblog so much?
Brother I LOVE posting. that's just how it is.
Fav music artists?
It changes literally ALL the time but I will recommend ANYTHING by Vylet Pony, its music is incredible and probably the reason I'm a weird niche microcelebrity now.
Why are you like this?
theater kid + having a lot of fun on the internet makes you a bit silly hehe hoo
SUSAN TAXPAYER QUESTIONS
Is it out? Not yet! But hopefully sometime in the next year. I dunno! I take things at my own pace and keep stuff fun. :)
What are you using to make it? SMBX2! It's a free fangame engine for Mario episodes, but it's incredibly versatile and has a wonderful community, so I decided to make Susan Taxpayer in it.
Is there a demo? You betcha! You can find it right here. I'll also probably put it up on my itch.io.
How do I install it? I made a post here about how to run the SAGE '23 demo!
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episode six: the spy
Steve looks like a kicked puppy as you storm ahead of him and Dustin, putting enough distance between you guys so that you can’t hear their conversion that follows. “Shit…” “You’re awful with women.” Dustin says, now continuing to walk. He doesn’t bother to follow after you, knowing that you need your space to cool down. “I wouldn’t follow her, by the way. Let her cool off.” Steve sighs, now walking as well, “Yeah, I know.”
Summary: dustin and steve haggle a butcher, you throw some meat at steve and then have a weird conversation about love, you stop dustin from becoming an incel, and then you wrestle some demodogs like any real woman would. side note: steve is hot protecting the kids.
Rating: general, violence and swearing
Warnings: fem!reader, use of y/n, violence and swearing, blood mention and ptsd mention, weapons, fire, probably more
Words: 17.1k (i fear how much longer these next few chapters become)
Before you swing in: its here !!! god, this chapter was ROUGH. the conversations between bug and steve took many rewrites and editing. i wanted to get it just right, and finally i think im satisfied with where they landed. bug and steve aside, i absolutely loved writing this chapter with the kids. i sincerely hope you guys enjoy, this chapter took blood, sweat, n tears lmao
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You’re the first to break the silence as you all stare at the hole Dart created in the wall in shock.
An obnoxiously loud yawn escapes your lips, and Dustin and Steve shoot you simultaneous weird glances. You feel your face heat up in embarrassment. “Sorry… It’s been a long day.”
Steve huffs. “Yeah, no kidding.”
Dustin clears his throat before standing up. He wipes off some dirt that got on his jeans and then offers you his hand so that he can pull you up as well. You accept it and stand, your bones a deep, weary type of heavy that only comes from pure exhaustion.
“Okay,” Dustin begins, and you can already see a plan forming in his mind. “Steve, you’ll spend the night here so that way we can all get up bright and early to start our search for Dart.”
Steve attempts to argue, but Dustin puts his hand up to shush him and continues with his speech. The older boy throws his hands up in the air and gives you a look of disbelief over your brother’s antics. You stifle a laugh, which he only rolls his eyes at. Steve, whether he likes it or not, will have to get used to Dustin’s… Dustin-ness.
“If he escaped through the tunnel, then we have to assume that there’s an opening somewhere above ground.” Dustin finishes.
You nod your head slowly, still unconvinced. “Okay, but how do we find him? Better yet, what happens when we do? It took Nancy with a shotgun, my knives, Steve’s batting skills, a ton of fire, and almost dying a bunch of times to take down the Demogorgon.”
Dustin lets out a tired sigh. “I’ll figure it all out, alright? For now, let’s just get some sleep. Maybe it’ll come to me in a dream or something.”
“A dream? Seriously?” Steve looks at the two of you as if you guys will start laughing and tell him it’s all a giant joke. Unfortunately, it isn’t.
Steve spent all last year and most of the summer getting to know you. He’s used to your quips and soft spoken teasing, but Dustin? He’s uncharted territory and you’re secretly relishing in seeing Steve fumble around him. You’ve never had anyone else interact with your brother before, only Jonathan, so this change is odd, but welcomed.
Dustin pays no attention to you and Steve as he begins heading up the steps, back to your home. Once he disappears, you nudge your shoulder against Steve’s. “You know you don’t actually have to spend the night, right?”
“Ya know, I can’t quite tell if the kid will let me leave or not.”
You laugh. “He’s harmless… Mostly. I promise I won’t let him bite, but I also understand if you want to leave.”
Steve looks away, sensing the undertones of what you’re saying. You’re giving him another out, one last chance to leave and go back to pretending like everything's okay. You wouldn’t blame him, and you get a sense of deja-vu from that night at Jonathan’s. When you tried coaxing Steve to leave, to spare himself from everything he inevitably ended up suffering from.
After a minute or so, Steve shakes his head. “I’ll stay. You need my help.”
“Well, I wouldn’t say need–”
“Shut up and let me help you, Y/N.”
You sigh. There’s no arguing with him, he’s made up his mind and your truce that you shook on ten minutes ago burns your hand. He’s staying.
“A ‘please’ would’ve sufficed, but fine.” You link your arm around Steve’s and make your way up the cellar steps. “C’mon, Dustin is probably waiting for us with some new insane plan for where you’ll sleep.”
–
You know that your mom is safe, off at the other side of town, searching for your dead cat, but it’s still lonely walking into your empty home. Dustin is standing in the living room waiting, but you can see that it makes him uneasy as well.
Steve follows behind you and takes a look around. When he spots the lumpy, old, sagging couch in front of the window, he frowns. It’s barely bigger than he is, his feet would definitely hang over the edge. “This my bed for tonight?”
“It’ll have to be, unless you want to come snuggle with me in my bed.” Dustin says.
“I wouldn’t, he kicks in his sleep,” you tell Steve, attempting to make light of the situation.
“That doesn’t surprise me,” he snorts. Then, as if he’s done this a million times before, Steve flings himself onto your couch and his feet do indeed hang over the edge. “Oh, yeah. This will definitely be cozy.”
You wince. “I’m sorry, you’re still free to go home. I completely understand and–”
“Unless…” Dustin begins to brighten up and he wiggles his eyebrows at you. Pure horror washes over you; you know that look on his face. He’s scheming.
“Dustin, whatever is about to come out of your mouth–”
“Y/N has this giant bean bag in her room. Practically takes up the whole space, and, luckily for you, my new friend, it’s Steve-sized.”
Steve whips his head to face you, a curious look on his face. “You don’t say, Little Henderson?”
Both boys look at you, a matching glint of evil in their eyes, and you realize you’re trapped. When did they manage to sync up to make you miserable?
You weigh your options against your morals. On one hand, it’s your room and you and Steve are still warming back up to each other. However, on the other hand, Jonathan has spent countless nights on that bean bag himself.
Dustin’s right. Steve would fit perfectly.
Damn him.
You shuffle your feet, averting Steve’s eyes. “I mean, I guess you’d fit.”
“You guess? Steve, she’s had Jonathan sleep on that thing like a bajillion times.” Dustin waves his arms out, gleeful that he’s won. “In fact, I think our mom specifically bought it just for him.”
He now steps closer to Steve and eyes him up and down. “I’d bet money that you two are about the same size, so as I stated earlier: it’s Steve-sized.”
“I’m actually taller than him, so…” Steve mumbles to no one in particular, but quickly clears his throat and changes the subject. “And I’d finally be able to see Y/N Henderson’s room? Count me in.”
You blush furiously. He’s getting a kick out of all of this and he’s such a little shit, honestly. You’re not sure why the thought of having Steve Harrington in your room, eager to be in your room, makes your stomach flutter and your cheeks burn painfully.
Steve sees your blush and he wiggles his eyebrows at you. “C’mon, Y/N. It’ll be like a sleepover.”
“You’re far too pleased about all of this.”
“We can pretend to be back at Bookstrordinary. I’ll even stack some books that you definitely have in your room.”
Dustin stands between you and Steve, his face alight with joy and curiosity. “Can I please know when you two became best friends?”
“No, you hid Dart from me.”
“I’m not gonna live that down, am I?”
“Nope.”
Steve clears his throat, clearly amused by your banter with Dustin but still unsure about everything going on. “So… What do ya say, Y/N?”
You bite your lip and look at him. He’s pathetically too large for the couch, it wouldn’t be fair to just force him to sleep there because of the weird way he makes you feel as if you’re floating yet falling all at the same time.
Exhaling, you give in. “Fine, but do not touch any of my books in the room.”
“Yes!” Steve high fives Dustin and you roll your eyes at them both.
“Yeah, yeah. Whatever. It’s late, can we please just go to bed now?”
Dustin sends you a wink, which thankfully Steve doesn’t see. “Sure, sis. Have a good night.”
And with that, probably because he senses you’re about to throw a shoe at him, Dustin flees the living room and runs to his room. As soon as he’s gone, Steve bats his eyelashes at you and playfully teases, “Take me to bed, Y/N.”
You snort, despite how exhausted you are. “Never say those words to me again.”
He laughs and stands up, following behind you as you guide him towards your own room. A part of you feels like you should give him a house tour, but logistically it’d be useless. You can’t imagine that Steve would be over at your house again once the Dart situation is handled.
You have to remind yourself that there are still roses for Nancy, currently wilting, in the backseat of Steve’s car.
They’ll work things out eventually, or maybe they won’t, but Nancy Wheeler still has Steve Harrington’s heart. He is her’s entirely.
Lost in thought, you almost miss the turn to your room and have to grab the back of Steve’s jacket and yank him towards your bedroom door.
“Hey–”
“Sorry, my room is here.”
“You Hendersons are just a delightful bunch, ya know that?”
“Be thankful you don’t have to meet our mother, honestly.” You fling your bedroom door open and gently push Steve inside.
As soon as he’s in your room, you watch as he takes it all in. His eyes scan every corner of the room, and you hold your breath as you wait for them to land on the Spider-Man poster he gave you for Christmas last year.
When Steve sees it, he smiles shyly at you. “I see you kept the gift.”
“Duh,” you walk over to your bed and sit down. “Still one of the best gifts I’ve ever been given.”
“One of?” He asks, tone light but curious.
Unconsciously, your fingers go to your bee necklace from Jonathan. You play with the pendant and smile softly. “Sorry, Jonathan kinda beat you to it.”
“I figured,” he shrugs, shoving his hands in his pockets, uncomfortable. “I noticed the necklace the day I gave you the poster. Didn’t want to, uh, assume. I guess. But the necklace was from him?”
“It was,” you clear your throat, talking about Jonathan with Steve has always been such a foreign feeling for you.
Steve seems to be thinking the same thing and starts to wander around your room instead. You silently thank whatever god is up there for giving you the motivation to clean your room earlier that week. Normally you’re a neat person, but ever since Will started showing signs of post-traumatic stress, you’ve spent more time obsessively researching rather than tidying up.
Therefore, there’s still books strewn across your desk alongside some comics. Steve sees a Spidey one and holds it up with a laugh. “He’s everywhere.”
“He is.” You say proudly, now getting up to go into your closet to pull out the blankets and pillows usually reserved for Jonathan.
Steve wanders around some more as you dig through your closet. He lingers in front of your dresser, which holds photos of you, Dustin, and Jonathan.
“Here,” you hand the bedding to Steve and motion to where the bean bag is.
He looks up from a photo of you and Jonathan from last year. It’s your favorite of the two of you, he stands behind you in the picture with his arms wrapped around your waist and his chin on your shoulder. You’re both smiling widely at the camera, the moment captured by Will because he wanted to try out the camera Jonathan had gotten that summer.
“You guys are really close, huh?” Steve asks.
You nod, although confused by his question. He spent half the summer with you and Jonathan at your job. You had conversations about your friendship together, but you suppose it’s different seeing the excess of love you have for the boy within your room. Jonathan is everywhere, if you look hard enough, you’ll find him.
Steve pauses for a second, as if he wants to say something else, but shakes his head and turns towards the bean bag. He arranges the pillows so that they’re flush against the wall facing your bed, which you think is an odd choice, but say nothing. Once he’s arranged the pillows and blankets, Steve turns to you and clears his throat.
“I hate to ask this, I really do, but I also don’t want to sleep in these jeans,” he waves his hands over his pants, which have always been a bit tighter than you thought was necessary. “Any chance I could wear something of Jonathan’s?”
You think for a moment and dig through your dresser. “I’m not sure, but if I can’t find anything of his then I think my old camp t-shirt can fit. As for pants, won’t your boxers work fine?”
Steve’s face turns red and he clears his throat once more, speaking in a slightly squeaky voice, “Y–yeah, I guess so.”
He’s stumbling over his words, which makes you pause. There’s no possible way that he’s nervous right now. He’s usually so confident and comfortable around you. Hell, last summer he offered to be your first kiss (by kissing his fingers and pressing them against your lips, but still).
“Are you shy right now, Steve?”
“What? No!” He scrambles to the other side of the room, putting as much distance between the two of you as he can.
You raise your eyebrows at him, but your cheeks are flushed as well. “Okay then, whatever you say.”
It’s painfully quiet after that as you continue looking for something for Steve to wear. You swear that Jonathan has left behind some of his things, and right before you lose hope, you spot a pair of gray sweats and an old The Clash t-shirt of his.
“Here,” you toss the clothes to Steve without even checking if he’s looking. You hear a crash and know that he, in fact, had not been looking.
“Gee, thanks.” He says sarcastically, but you giggle.
“No problem,” you begin to gather your own pajamas before pointing towards your door. “There’s a bathroom to the left, down the hall. You can change there.”
“Then our sleepover can commence?”
You wave him off, but you smile anyway at his question. You missed his boyish charms. “Sure, buddy. Go change.”
Steve salutes you and then leaves the room, softly closing the door behind him. You change while he’s gone and tie your hair up. After a few minutes, you assume Steve has had enough time to change and make your way over to the bathroom so you can brush your teeth. You’re so excited to go to bed.
However, the door is closed when you approach, meaning Steve is still changing. You knock on the door, “Are you almost done in there?”
“I’m having… problems.”
Your hand hovers over the door, mid knock. “Problems?”
There’s only silence for a moment, almost as if Steve is contemplating elaborating. Finally, after several seconds, he says “I’m definitely taller than Byers.”
You roll your eyes and begin knocking again, just to annoy Steve, until he finally swings the door open. Before you can even stop it, a loud laugh escapes you. The sweats are at least five inches too short on him, while Jonathan’s shirt is a size too small. He looks absolutely ridiculous.
“It’s not funny!” Steve whines, his face once again red. “I thought you gave me Jonathan��s clothes, Y/N!”
More laughter escapes you, making your ribs begin to hurt. Every time you try to speak, you laugh even harder, and it’s impossible for you to get any words out. Steve watches, not amused in the slightest, and crosses his arms as if to appear more dignified.
“I’m sorry,” you manage to gasp out, more laughs threatening to spill from you. “I guess they’re clothes from when he was fourteen.”
“I’m reconsidering our truce from earlier.”
This gets you to stop laughing, and you gasp and smack Steve’s chest. “You wouldn’t dare!”
He sighs, hanging his head low. “No, I wouldn’t.”
“Exactly,” his admission makes you giddy. “Now, either make yourself cozy in the bean bag or watch as I brush my teeth. Your choice.”
Steve shrugs and steps to the side so that there’s room for you to enter the bathroom. It’s a tight fit, but he ends up sitting on the edge of the tub and just watches as you begin the process of brushing your teeth. “I didn’t actually think you’d stay, ya know.”
“I know, but I’m bored and you’re here.”
You spit into the sink. “Fair, I guess.”
“Plus,” he picks at his nails, trying to look disinterested while wearing Jonathan’s too small clothes. “We still need to have that talk.”
You pause, toothbrush hanging from your lips as you stare at Steve, wide eyed, in the mirror. Honestly, you were hoping he would’ve forgotten about that. It’s not that you don’t want to know whatever he has to tell you, but you’re tired and still reeling over the fact that he’s spending the entire night in your room.
“Oh, right.” Turning the faucet off, you finish brushing your teeth and awkwardly wipe your face. Steve watches quietly, and once you’re done, you motion for him to follow you back towards your room.
As soon as you’re back in your room, Steve immediately curls himself upon the bean bag and brings the blanket all the way up to his chin. Dustin, as always, is right: the bean bag truly is Steve-sized. “Cozy.”
You laugh at him as you crawl into your own bed. “Yeah, I’d hope so. Jonathan has slept in it for years now.”
“Well, uh. Speaking of Jonathan…” Steve sits up a bit so that he can properly look at you. “I wanted to talk. Ya know… About you and him. Nancy, too.”
He pauses, furrows his brows, and then adds. “Actually, I want to talk about what really happened this summer. Everything. I want to know everything.”
“Everything is a lot,” you dodge, turning away from the boy.
Steve sighs. “Y/N… I missed you.”
Missed.
“I want to be friends again, be how we were before, but… I don’t know. There was a lot unsaid between us. Even from the start. I mean, I understand. I do.” His eyes never leave yours, despite how much you try not to look back at him. “You’re, well–If we’re going to be friends again, I want to start from the beginning.”
“The beginning?”
Now Steve is the one who looks away. “I don’t know, it’s stupid, I guess–”
“It’s not stupid, Steve.” You reassure him. He’s trying, he’s inviting you in after everything you did to him, and it’s all you could’ve asked for.
But you’re fucking terrified.
You and Steve became close before, sure, but it was something more surface level. An act between the two of you. While Steve was able to read you over time, learning and asking and paying attention to you, there was still so much you never let him in on. What you haven’t let anyone in on, besides Jonathan.
If you start from the beginning with Steve, someone you know has come to view you as this selfless and kind person, you’re scared that it’ll change the way he sees you.
But Steve is looking at you from the bean bag, looking ridiculously cozy with the blanket wrapped around him and his usually carefully curated hair has fallen in his eyes; his gaze is open and trusting. There isn’t a pressure behind it, he would understand if you backed down, but you promised him you’d try.
To try is to be human.
And you really, really missed Steve.
“I moved here when I was twelve. My family and I had moved all the way from Virginia after the divorce. I remember being really mean, back then. An angry kid with all this hurt within her that she perpetually displaced upon everyone else.”
“Angry?” Steve asks, his voice soft.
You shift uncomfortably in bed, but you remind yourself that you agreed to this. If you’re going to begin again with Steve, then he deserves to know the true person he’s befriending. “Angry. I didn’t take the divorce well. At all. I acted out a lot, closed myself off, and was just a fucking awful person.”
Shifting again, you take a deep breath. “My anger got to the point where Dustin, who was nine, had to practically plead with me to be nicer to him. He was a kid.”
“So were you,” Steve gently chimes in, but you roll your eyes at him.
“Being a kid didn’t give me an excuse to abandon my loved ones like I did. Like my father did. It wasn’t until Dustin called me out on my bullshit that I realized the irony of the situation. There I was, blaming everyone else for my own problems and running away, because I was so hurt by my father doing the same to me.”
Steve clenches his jaw, and you know he wants to say more, but you watch as he exhales deeply and decides against it. “Okay, so you were mean and then you became kind again after something traumatic… So what?”
“I’m sorry?”
“I mean,” the boy sighs. “I was a dick for like, ten consecutive years. It took losing a fight to Jonathan, embarrassing myself in front of Nancy at least five times, losing my bullshit ‘friends’ Tommy and Carol, and some blonde guy with a fucking mullet before I was even able to become a decent person.”
You frown. “What’s your point?”
“My point is that you came back.” Steve shrugs. “The second someone you loved asked you to, you came back to being the selfless angel that you are. Which, by the way, is an impressive feat in itself.”
He says this as if it’s obvious and that the months you spent hurting everyone around you can be redeemed. As if you haven’t spent every waking hour tirelessly devoting every piece of yourself to those around you to make up for them. To repent for your anger.
Steve takes your silence as more defiance, and he runs a tired hand through his hair. He’s merely a few feet from you, at the foot of your bed on the bean bag, and yet it feels as if he’s inches yet yards away. “I know I can’t change your mind, but… I think that’s what matters the most in the end, ya know? You became kind.”
“So did you,” you finally say, not quite ready to accept what he’s saying.
Now it’s Steve who looks away. “Still working on the whole ‘kind’ thing.”
“Isn’t that what matters in the end?” You tease, feeling yourself warm with pride when you get him to laugh.
“Touche.”
Silence falls over the two of you, letting the tension lazily slip away for now. Your body hums with energy; the only other person you’ve told about your father to is Jonathan. You both have long since bonded over shitty father figures. However, even when you had whispered these truths to Jonathan back when you were thirteen, you don’t remember feeling quite so raw and vulnerable as you do right now with Steve.
“I meant it, you know,” you catch Steve’s eye. “Back when you first drove me home last year. You’re alright. Not too shabby, honestly.”
This time a full body laugh cascades through the boy, He clutches at his stomach as he doubles over, breathless with joy. “Thanks, Y/N.”
Steve is still laughing and this is the happiest you think you’ve seen him in months. The realization makes all the warmth you’ve felt earlier, vanish. You remember the hurt on his face earlier this week on Halloween, the tears in his eyes when he confessed that Nancy didn’t love him.
You know how plagued Steve is about never being good enough, and for the first time since you’ve truly gotten to know him: you understand him in that very moment.
Your eye catches on Steve’s adam’s apple as he swallows. It’s a tragedy, really, how attractive he is. You suppose it’s what caused his downfall, in the end. A pretty boy, rich and popular yet easily able to be taken down; it must be a lonely life with all that vulnerability.
“Can I tell you a secret?” You whisper, voice cutting through the darkness of your room as Steve seems to remember where he is, why and how the conversation started in the first place.
“Always,”
“I’m scared of the compulsive need I feel to take care of everyone. It’s like… I don’t know, this debt that I feel I owe for existing, for the fear I feel because of my father leaving. I overcompensate for this fear now, terrified I’ll become mean again.”
Steve stares at your ceiling. “The whole ‘debt’ thing, I understand. Believe me. Rather than being a perfect angel, however, I just try my fucking hardest not to disappoint everyone around me and make them leave.”
Nancy, as she always seems to do, lingers between you and Steve now; you both can feel her presence without him having to say her name. He told you what she did to him, you tried to reassure him that it hadn’t been his fault, but Steve isn’t an idiot.
Nancy never loved him. He knows this, now.
You don’t say anything, you don’t think he’d want you to. Giving him some time, you allow Steve a few minutes to collect his thoughts, sensing he has more to say. Then, softly, he whispers back to you, “Can I tell you a secret?”
“Always,” you echo.
“I just want to be loved.”
With just one confession, a string of six words in succession, Steve Harrington crushes you.
The words come crashing upon your chest and you wish you could tell him how easily you see yourself falling for him. How, even if you can’t admit it just yet, you’re already falling for him. You think you have been for some time now.
Somewhere, in between him driving you home last year and the way the summer sun kissed his face months later, you began to fall in love with him.
While you’re thinking this, Steve is laying in the bean bag, absolutely terrified of the words that have come out of his mouth. He’s always had the fear, deep down, that he was unlovable, but to admit the fear out loud… He’s never felt so weak before.
You’re silent and Steve thinks he’s finally done it. His pathetic need to be liked and loved by everyone around him has finally scared you away. How couldn’t it scare you away? You so naturally are loved by everyone while Steve compulsively demands it because he’s still that scared ten year old boy with a father who never showed him love.
Then, because you’re an angel, you give Steve the response he hadn’t even known he needed to hear. “It’s natural to want to be loved. We all do. It’s human.”
He exhales at your words, still staring at the ceiling as if to somehow lessen the impact of what you’re telling him. There’s something there, hanging in the air after your words have disappeared, that Steve can’t quite understand.
It almost sounded like you were trying to reassure yourself, as well.
“What’s the deal with you and Jonathan?” Though Steve’s voice is steady, you can tell that he’s trying not to sound too interested.
The question is a simple one, but it’s the hardest question you’ve ever had to answer. Everyone asks you, sooner or later, if you and Jonathan are together. You never blame them for asking, because ultimately the two of you are closer than the average friends, regardless of gender.
It doesn’t make the question any less painful to answer, though. It doesn’t make hearing Jonathan’s laugh cut any less deeper.
As for Steve, he’s asked this question before, albeit with teasing and disbelief whenever you’ve told him there’s nothing there. Despite the numerous times you’ve corrected him, he’s never quite believed you.
This time, it feels different. There’s a weight behind Steve’s question, and your silence is all the answer that he needs. “You love him.”
The words aren’t a question, and they harbor no malice. He says them as if they are a fact; you suppose that it is. You don’t say anything, but you do nod your head at him. “I do… I think I’ve always loved him, honestly.”
You’ve never, ever said those words out loud. Not to anyone.
And now, you’re confessing them to Steve, who doesn’t have to ask you why your voice now holds melancholy within it. He knows, he’s always somehow known. Jonathan doesn’t love you, a fact in which Steve has never been able to wrap his head around. He’s watched the two of you for years, how easily you love one another, and yet somehow the love never blossomed into something more.
Everything stills between you and Steve, allowing both your confessions to surround the two of you. “I’m sorry.”
Steve’s apology only causes you to shrug. “He’s still mine, at least for now. Is that so bad?”
“I mean, I guess not, but… Doesn’t it get exhausting?”
“God,” you squeeze your eyes shut, finally able to voice all you’ve been feeling to someone who can understand. “It feels like this crushing weight upon me every time I see him smile, like it’s a burden, carrying all this love within me without being able to express it freely. I just… I never thought that love could be so exhausting. ”
As the words start to come out, you find that you’re unable to stop. “I grew up with Jonathan, I learned the way he breathes and the way his hands feel pressed against my skin, but so much has changed and…” Your breath hitches. “He’s not someone I reach out to first anymore. It almost feels like I can’t. I love him, I do, but I also miss how it used to be before I realized everything.”
The pressure of tears builds behind your eyes and forces you to stop talking. If you say anything else, you’re afraid you’ll start crying. While Steve has been so lovely tonight, it wouldn’t be fair to ask him to console you so pathetically.
Steve seems to hear the tears lacing your voice and speaks for you, having finally pieced together everything he’s been unable to articulate since November of last year. “With Nance, it feels like I’m always somehow two steps behind her and her feelings. Constantly playing catch up while the rules keep changing on me… I get the whole ‘love is exhausting’ thing.”
Though you know Steve means well, his words fucking terrify you. If he feels the same way towards Nancy, a girl who never ended up loving him despite how much he poured his heart out for her, what does that mean for you and Jonathan?
For the first time, you question if the exhaustion you feel surrounding your love for the boy is really something else. Something different, disguised as exhaustion.
You wonder, deep down, if you’ve started to fall out of love with Jonathan.
Who are you if you have?
The boy has become so intertwined within your life, the threads and strings and lines have tied you to him indefinitely. He’s the reason behind your everything. If you no longer love Jonathan, then who are you, really?
The realization washes over you like cold rain in the middle of winter. It spills over you and pricks at your skin and you suddenly want the conversation to end. While you’re so relieved to be talking to Steve again, the conversation has left you with more realizations than resolutions.
“It’s late,” you fake a yawn, desperate to cut the conversation short. “We should go to bed. Knowing Dustin, he’ll have us up at the crack of dawn to start looking for Dart.”
Steve sees right through you, he knows he’s somehow crossed a line and that you’re once again retreating. You’re closing yourself off from him again, but he’ll take whatever he can get from you. You’ve told him more than he ever thought you would, so for now he’ll play along.
“Goodnight, Y/N.” He says, watching as you reach for your lamp and turn the light off. Then, as soon as you’ve rolled over and closed your eyes, you faintly hear his final words. “Don’t we make a pathetic pair?”
You remember, before drifting off to sleep, feeling relief wash over you that Steve once again considers the two of you a pair.
–
You wake up the next morning to the faint sounds of Dustin getting ready. His shower can be heard from your room, and through the years it's become your morning alarm. Yawning, you roll over and rub your eyes and take a few minutes to let your brain wake up.
Bits of yesterday’s events come back to you.
Dustin confessing about Dart.
Locking the Demodog in your cellar.
Radioing everyone in the party for help and getting no response.
Going to the Wheelers for Mike and coming back with Steve.
Dart going missing.
And, most importantly, your bizarre conversation with Steve last night.
The boy in question lets out a loud snore from the bean bag, blankets haphazardly twisted around his legs, and you stifle a laugh. Even in his sleep, Steve Harrington somehow catches all the attention in the room.
You throw your blanket off and get out of bed, tiptoeing so as to not wake up the sleeping beauty, and head outside to your kitchen. If yesterday was any indication of how long today will be, then you need all the coffee in the world to get through it.
The coffee has just finished brewing when you hear Steve stumble into the kitchen. His eyes are bleary and his hair is the worst it’s ever looked. “I guess even Steve ‘The Hair’ Harrington can’t escape bed head, huh?”
Steve acknowledges your quip only by grunting, still stumbling around through your home. So he isn’t a morning person, you think with a smile while bringing your coffee mug to your lips and taking a careful sip.
Eventually Steve makes it to your kitchen table and plops down, letting out a loud yawn and smacking his lips. He looks pathetically endearing, really, especially given his outfit that looks even worse after sleeping in it. The shirt has ridden further up, exposing a bit of his stomach (which you divert your gaze from, feeling yourself blush), and one of his too-short pant legs has ridden up to his knee.
“You really are a natural beauty in the morning, Steve.”
“Ha,” he says boredly, looking around the kitchen. “Do you guys have any food? I’m starving.”
You toss him an apple from the fruit basket on the counter, and Steve only just manages to catch it in time to avoid it hitting his face.
“Christ!” He exclaims, glaring at you when you chuckle at his reaction. Maybe it was a little mean, but you see the small smile he tries to hide.
“Is this all I get? An apple thrown at my face?”
You walk over to the table and set your mug down. “Were you expecting a home cooked meal?”
“You’ll have to earn a Y/N Henderson breakfast,” Dustin says as he enters the kitchen and joins the two of you. His hair is still wet from his shower and he drips onto the counter, which makes you cringe. He’s such a boy, sometimes.
He makes his way over to the fridge and rustles around, looking for something to eat. Truthfully, the reason you threw the apple at Steve is because there’s no food in your house at the moment. Your mom normally goes to the grocery store on Saturdays, and in her frantic rush to find Mews she hadn't left any money for you to go to the store.
“There’s no food,” you inform your brother.
He sighs dejectedly, grabbing a banana and then plopping himself next to Steve at the table. “All right, are you two awake enough to discuss the plan?”
You nod immediately at Dustin’s question while Steve slumps further into his seat, groaning. You run a hand through his hair to try and settle down his theatrics. Dustin sees this and raises an eyebrow at you, but you shake your head and motion for him to keep quiet.
“So,” he takes a bite from his banana and begins speaking with his mouth full, which you make a face at. “I was thinking we lure Dart with bait to a secure area that we can catch him in.”
“Wait,” Steve sits up a bit in his seat, careful to not knock your hand off his head. “That’s all you got? That’s the entire plan?”
“Yes. Is there a problem?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” he begins eating as well, his mouth also full and disgusting to look at, “Do you know how we’ll lure him? Or where? Better yet, how will we even catch him?”
Dustin narrows his eyes. “Okay, so it’s a working idea. You got anything better?”
Steve opens his mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. He pauses for a second before seemingly drawing a blank and closing his mouth; he sinks back into his seat in defeat.
“That’s what I thought.” Dustin says smugly.
You take another sip of coffee, enjoying the mug’s warmth around your fingers. “Well, we at least know what Dart likes to eat.”
“We do?” Steve questions, looking up at you.
“Oh, just wait until you hear this,” you motion over to Dustin. “Go on, tell Steve what you’ve been feeding Dart.”
Now it’s your brother’s turn to sink into his seat, embarrassed. He mumbles something that Steve can’t quite hear.
“What?”
He mumbles again, only a tiny bit louder this time.
“Little Henderson, I can’t understand you.” Steve says, smirking when he feels you laugh against him.
“I said he eats Musketeers Bars!” Dustin shouts, now incredibly defensive.
In sync, you and Steve share a look. While you have an exasperated fondness on your face, Steve looks like he’s questioning every choice he’s made in his life. It’s cute that he thinks this is the weirdest things will get.
“Okay…” Steve looks over at your brother. “Unless you plan on buying out an entire candy store, we need something else for bait.”
In the corner of your eye you see Mews’ cat bed laying against the window, and an idea pops into your head. “Dustin, did Dart only eat the candy bars before he killed our cat?”
“Yeah, why?”
As you walk over to the kitchen sink to place your mug in it, you begin explaining. “Then clearly he’s outgrown his sugar needs and would probably eat just about anything with flesh on it.”
Steve wrinkles his face with displeasure, not enjoying the thought of going after this monster that craves meat. He’s already done that, and call him crazy, but he really doesn’t want to experience anything like that ever again.
Dustin’s eyes light up, following along with what you’re saying. “Raw meat! You’re a genius, Y/N!”
“And then we can follow the train tracks to that old junkyard, the one that El brought you guys to last year. It’s a straight shot, Dart won’t get lost, and then we catch him.”
Dustin squeals. “That’s perfect!”
He stands up to hug you, which you gladly accept. “Yeah, yeah. We Hendersons are known for our genius,” you gently push your brother away and start exiting the kitchen. “I’m going to go shower and get ready. Steve, you’ll take Dustin to the butcher and see if you can haggle some raw meat out of him.”
“Uh… can I change first?” He asks, running a hand through his hair with displeasure.
Only now does Dustin notice Steve’s appearance and he lets out a loud cackle. “Oh, I think you look great!”
You shoot your brother a warning look, not wanting to upset Steve too much. He’s the only one with a car, and the party still hasn’t responded to Dustin’s calls, so he’s all you have right now. Plus, after last night’s conversation, you’re sure he’s feeling just as wound up and tense as you are.
“We can swing by your place on our way to the train tracks. Your house is right next to it, anyways, and Dustin and I can scout the parameters while you shower and get yourself all pretty. For now, just go to the butcher's shop, please.”
“But–”
“Please, Steve?” You pout, daring him to argue with you again. Steve is only able to stand his ground for about five seconds before he groans and nods his head.
“Fine–” You quickly hug him before running towards the bathroom to get ready.
Once you’re gone, Steve searches for his keys while Dustin stands in the kitchen, shocked. “I so need to know when you two became such good pals.”
“Go wait by the car, Little Henderson.” Steve waves him off, though he’s secretly pleased with how the morning is turning out so far.
–
“C’mon, man. It’s just chunks of raw meat, it doesn’t even matter what, uh, body parts they are, I guess.” Steve argues with the butcher, having no idea why you’ve sent him on this journey with Dustin. Neither of them have any idea about butchers and meat, so they’ve been arguing back and forth for a solid ten minutes with the guy.
“And I already told you, it’ll be $15. Take it or leave it, pretty boy.” Pat, the butcher, says.
Steve scowles at the name, “That’s insane for five pounds, you realize that? It’s just a bunch of meat chunks from god knows where, it’s not like we want prime rib you dirty sack of–”
Dustin cuts him off, snatching the boy’s wallet from his back pocket and pulling out a twenty. “Ignore him, please! Here, thank you so much for your lovely service, good sir.”
Pat narrows his eyes at the boy, and for a split second Dustin is afraid that he’s trying to figure out the best way to skin them alive, before he simply grunts and takes the money.
Relief washes over Dustin and he scrambles to grab the bags of meat, tugging at Steve’s sleeve in urgence until he gives in and begins to help as well. Within a few seconds, they’ve gathered all they need and head towards the car.
“Keep the change!” Dustin calls out behind him.
As soon as they’re in the car, he yells at Steve to step on it. It’s already been twenty minutes since they left the house, and he knows from experience to never keep you waiting.
“Okay, okay, god.” Steve complies, pushing down on the gas and speeding away from the butcher’s shop.
The smell of raw meat immediately infiltrates the car, so Steve rolls down the windows and sighs. This is definitely not the weekend he had in mind. He thought he’d apologize to Nancy, kiss and hopefully make up, and maybe even swing by your place to tell you the good news.
Instead, he has buckets of raw meat in his car and his head is swimming from his conversation with you from last night. While he’s happy it happened, there’s still so much Steve feels like you aren’t telling him. To top it all off, he hadn’t been able to sleep in his own bed, but rather a bean bag that Jonathan apparently has slept in a million times before.
As Steve is moping, he realizes that there actually wasn’t even a real need to spend the night.
“Hey, Little Henderson,” Steve gently hits Dustin’s shoulder to get his attention. “Why did I have to spend the night at your place?”
“Oh, you didn’t.” Dustin says as if it’s no big deal.
Steve turns his head towards him, “I’m sorry, what?”
“Yeah, I didn’t think you’d actually spend the night if we’re being honest. I just thought it’d be funny to mess with you.”
“I tried arguing with you, but you shushed me!” Steve exclaims, putting both hands back on the steering wheel aggressively.
The younger boy shrugs, “What are you, seventeen? Eighteen? Why would you listen to a thirteen year old?”
“Well, I–” As much as he wants to, Steve really can’t defend himself on this one. Shit. It’s not like he can tell Dustin that he mostly stayed because his sister is pretty and makes him feel safe.
Dustin smiles, happy to have won the conversation at hand, and decides to really rub it in as they pull up to the house. “I also thought it’d be hilarious to pair you up with my sister. Hope you two made smart choices last night.”
And with those words, Dustin springs out the car, leaving a speechless Steve behind. He turns the car off and sits there for a moment, completely at a loss for words. He’s only spent a total of sixteen hours with the kid, and already he knows he’s in for a world more of trouble.
If you’re Hawkins’ sweetheart, then Dustin is the town’s horribly terrifying weasel.
Meanwhile, you’ve just finished lacing up your shoes when Dustin walks in.
“Where are the rubber gloves that mom likes?” He asks in lieu of greeting you.
“In the closet, second shelf, next to her cat figurines. Where’s Steve?”
Dustin rustles around the closet and pulls out three sets of gloves, “In the car, moping.”
There’s a crash and then he tosses two buckets onto the carpet. You crouch down and grab the buckets, placing them on the table. “Why is he moping?”
“Why is who moping?” The man in question walks in, throwing himself on the couch and narrowly dodging the third bucket that Dustin throws out. “Why do you guys keep throwing shit at me, jesus!”
“Language! There’s kids around,” You snap your fingers at Steve, who quickly cowers in shame. “And if it makes any difference, the bucket wasn’t intentional. The rest were, though.”
Just as Dustin is finishing up in the closet, you spot a can of gasoline and an idea sparks in your head. If you learned anything at Jonathan’s house last year, it’s that these Demogorgon things really hate fire. “Hey, grab the gasoline as well.”
He does as he’s told, no questions asked, and then hands it to you. You add it to the pile on the table, along with two backpacks from your brother and your beloved switchblade.
Steve gets up from the couch to investigate your stash, nodding approvingly. “Not bad, guys. What are we going to put in the backpacks, though?”
Dustin goes into the kitchen and begins grabbing the few items within it. The remaining fruits in the basket, a few pieces of bread, a bag of chips, and some water bottles. “One bag will have our food, the other will have our weapons.”
And with that, you guys are all set to head out. While Dustin is distracted with grabbing his backpack, you run towards Steve’s car and throw yourself into the passenger seat. Every man for himself.
“What– Y/N!” He calls after you, but he’s too late. You’ve already buckled yourself up by the time he and Steve get into the car themselves.
“She beat ya, buddy.” Steve teases, flashing you a proud smile.
Dustin grumbles in the backseat, unamused, and for a moment you think he’ll leave it at that. However, because he’s Dustin, you see from the rearview mirror as his eyes spark with revenge. “So, Steve.”
The tone in his voice terrifies you.
You place your head in your hands and sigh, mentally preparing for whatever your brother is about to say.
“Yes, Dustin?”
“How long have you been friendly with my sister?”
“Dustin!” You whip your head around, lunging towards the back seat to swat at the boy, but he quickly scoots over to Steve’s side and avoids your hands.
Steve, however, surprises you by simply shrugging and taking the question in stride. There’s no embarrassment on his face, no ounce of hesitation in his voice. “About a year now.”
“A year?” Dustin exclaims, having completely not expected such a response. “Y/N, how could you keep this from me?”
“She didn’t hide anything from you, buddy.” Steve defends you, eyes focused on the road. “I convinced her to be my friend after I saved her life–”
“You saved her life?”
“And then bought you boys snacks at the hospital afterwards. Then, because I really wanted to be her friend, I basically stalked her at work every day and annoyed my way into her life. We’ve been pretty close ever since.”
Dustin’s jaw is practically on the ground after Steve’s quick explanation, left speechless for the first time in his life. As for you, you’re admiring the way the early morning sun causes Steve to glow. You’ll never be over how often his beauty distracts you; you wonder how Nancy, or really anyone, could deny him love.
If you didn’t know Steve, if you passed by him on the street one day as complete strangers, you’re sure that a part of you would fall in love with him.
Even with pieces of his hair standing all over the place, his shirt still being too small, he was a delicate kind of handsome that made you feel a certain warmth.
“Did I forget anything, Y/N?” Steve’s voice breaks you from your thoughts, and you quickly divert your eyes away from the way his arms look while holding the steering wheel.
“No, uh.” You clear your throat, still recovering. Steve seems to be in good spirits for once, it’s a breath of fresh air seeing him so content, and yet it also serves as a stark reminder that you made the right choice when you first distanced yourself from him. He’s just too easy to love. “I think you pretty much covered everything. Unless Dustin has any questions?”
“Give me three to five business days to process this, please.” Your brother mumbles from the backseat, which you and Steve laugh at.
The rest of the ride is relatively peaceful after that, and a few minutes later you arrive at Steve’s house. It’s different in the daylight, only ever having seen it late one night driving the boy home from the Halloween party.
It’s a beautiful home, the smell of chlorine fills your nose. The pool, you remember Nancy mentioning his pool when she explained what happened to Barb. You shiver, now aware that you’re in the same place that your friend took her last breaths at, just a year ago.
“The tracks are just over on the other side of the street, and I shouldn’t be too long, so you Hendersons can start figuring out the plan in the meantime.” Steve instructs you and Dustin, getting out of the car and entering his house.
Dustin begins getting out as well, so you unbuckle your seatbelt and follow. Thankfully you decided to wear jeans today with a simple tank top and cardigan with your knit socks; though it was late October, it’s unusually sunny outside and the walk from Steve’s to the junkyard was easily four to five miles.
The two of you walk over to the tracks and you survey the area. You’re not sure what exactly you’re looking for, but you figure it’s best to look focused in case Dustin yells at you.
“We’ll need to go that way,” Dustin points in front of you, and you nod as you follow along. “We can drop the meat chunks every few sleepers so we don’t waste any of it.”
“Sleepers?”
“These.” Dustin’s shoe scrapes against the bottom wooden planks.
“You would know what they’re called.”
“Ha ha, any more quips or can I continue?”
You put your hands up in surrender and Dustin begins to speak again.
“Then once we get to the junkyard, we can dump whatever meat is left in a pile and put the gasoline on it. Once Dart is distracted and eating, we’ll light it on fire.” His words catch a bit at the end, and you suddenly feel bad for him. He clearly still cares about Dart, but you know your brother understands the risks of letting the Demodog live.
Without saying anything, you reach over and pull Dustin in for a hug. He fights it at first, but after a couple seconds he gives in and hugs you back. You aren’t the most affectionate pair of siblings, but you love your younger brother fiercely. Not for the first time, you wish you could’ve done more to prevent him from discovering the Upside Down.
You know it’s irrational to blame yourself and feel guilty, but maybe if you’d been more involved last year, then maybe he wouldn’t have so many nightmares.
“I’m sorry about Dart,” you say softly against his hat.
Dustin breaks away, shrugging his shoulders. “Gotta protect the party, right?”
“Right.” You flick his hat. “C’mon, let’s go back to the car and start putting the meat in the buckets.”
True to his word, Steve is ready to go after about twenty minutes. He walks out of his house, freshly clean and put together, right as you and Dustin finish preparing the bait. He approaches from behind you, and you can smell his cologne. Memories from when he’d have his arms around you and you’d smell the familiar scent now wash over you.
Clearing your throat, you turn to hand him gloves and a bucket, but almost drop it when you see him.
He looks good. Like, frustratingly good. His hair is back in its usual style, but he’s wearing a dark blue polo and a gray jacket that fits him criminally well. You almost feel underdressed standing next to him with your ratty old cardigan, which you know is ridiculous to be concerned about. Plus, you’ve always known that Steve was attractive, so it’s stupid to be affected by it suddenly now.
You guys had one emotional conversation.
“Y/N?”
Steve’s staring at you quizzically, and you quickly snap out of your thoughts and hand him the bucket full of bait and instruct him to put the gloves on. He listens, dutifully putting them on and placing the bucket on the ground and starts searching for one of the backpacks in the trunk. He’s seemingly in a much better mood now, which you’re thankful for.
“Dustin! This is Lucas. Do you copy? Dustin?”
Lucas’ voice rings out from Dustin’s walkie, and you perk your head up, relieved that he’s okay. The radio silence from the party was something that unnerved you immensely. With Dart on the loose, Will’s increasing episodes, who knows what else is happening in Hawkins at the moment?
“Well, well, well, look who it is.” Dustin responds, placing his hands on his hips like a disappointed mother. You chuckle at him and continue helping Steve unload the trunk.
You hear Lucas sigh into the walkie. “Sorry, man. My stupid sister turned it off.”
“Tell Erica I say hi!” You call out, knowing Lucas will hear you. He always resented the fact that his sister is so nice to you. You’re the only living person who didn’t receive Erica’s insane insults, which is something you’re very proud of.
“Y/N?”
“Hi, Lucas!”
Dustin shoos you away and continues to speak. “Well, when you were having sister problems, which really aren’t that hard to handle–”
“Says you,” you butt in.
“Dart grew again, he escaped, and I’m pretty sure he’s a baby Demogorgon.” Your brother finishes. By this point, you and Steve have pretty much unpacked everything in the car.
“Wait, what?” You’d kill to see the look on Lucas’ face right now.
“I’ll explain later, just meet me, Y/N, and Steve at the old junkyard.” As Dustin wraps up the conversation, Steve shoves his bat into the bag and you watch him with disappointment. He’s trying really hard to make it fit, and you almost pity the boy. Bless him.
There’s a pause before Lucas asks, “Steve?”
Dustin doesn’t elaborate, instead instructing his friend to bring his binoculars and wrist rocket. You suppose it’s a good idea to add more weapons to your arsenal. Better safe than sorry.
“Steve Harrington?” Lucas asks again, this time even more confused.
“He’s a friend,” you say, shoving your own weapons into the bag and slinging it over your shoulder.
Steve closes the trunk and says, “Damn straight I am. Alright, let’s go.”
You follow after him, saying goodbye to Lucas as Dustin tells him to be at the junkyard stat.
Dustin stashes his walkie in his own bag and then the three of you are off. Your brother and Steve walk a bit ahead of you as you all throw the meat chunks onto the ground, doing as Dustin instructed. It’s slow work, but you’re happy to have some time to yourself while the boys are distracted with each other. Their friendship wasn’t something you’d expect, but you’re incredibly happy about it.
You love the party, you’d do anything for them given all that you’ve been through together. However, as they grow older, you can’t help but notice how much they’re changing. Mike hasn’t been himself since El disappeared, Dustin is now hyper focused on science, Lucas is becoming his own person, and poor Will is just trying to recover from the trauma of last year.
It’s been hard watching them grow apart, in a way. Nothing will ever be the same after the Upside Down, you know that, but watching the party slowly drift makes you sad for your brother. You’re glad he’s seemingly found someone like Steve to bounce jokes off of and feel appreciated by. You know that someday the kids will all come together again, it’d be impossible not to with how strong of a connection they all have, so you try not to worry too much.
You shove the thoughts down, you need to keep focused on Dart and contacting the rest of the party. So, you dutifully place the bait down and follow behind the boys and feel the time pass by. After about an hour of nonsensical conversation between Steve and Dustin, you hear the older boy finally ask the question of why your brother even hid Dart in the first place.
“It’s complicated, okay?” Dustin defects, clearly uncomfortable with the change in conversation.
You keep your distance from them, but you keep an ear out just in case you need to intervene.
“You claim you wanted to get famous off of it or whatever,” Steve drops meat onto the tracks and kicks his foot. “Call me crazy, but you don’t hide something that supposedly makes you famous.”
He has a point, and Dustin scrunches his face up. He casts a glance your way and you do your best to appear distracted by the job at hand. You know Dustin’s guilty face well, so whatever he’s about to tell Steve will be good. When Dustin shuffles closer to Steve and lowers his voice, you get closer as well so you can listen.
You’re his older sister. It’s your damn job to be nosy.
“It was for this girl.”
Simultaneously you and Steve react. He hums in approval, almost proud, while you scoff. “I knew it.”
Dustin turns around, horrified. “You knew?”
“Duh, you’re awful at hiding things from me. After Max was just conveniently outside the AV room when Dart originally escaped, I pieced it together immediately. Also, side note: you’re too young to be impressing girls. I told you to just be yourself, dummy.”
Steve lets out a snort. “Pretty ironic coming from you, Y/N.”
Suddenly you feel uncomfortable with his attention on you.
“I’m sorry?” Your voice is steady, but you can feel your hands shaking as you continue throwing the bait.
“Ya know, your massive crush on Jonathan ever since you were twelve.” He laughs, as if it’s the funniest joke in the world.
Dustin clears his throat aggressively, pointing to your hands. Steve sees the way that they shake, the tension you now carry in your shoulders, and he’s become familiar enough with you to know your anger cues. The teasing smile that had been on his face drops. He runs towards you so he’s now by your side, and Dustin sighs in disappointment.
“I didn’t, like, mean anything by that, you know. I–uh, I was kidding, Y/N.” Steve tries to catch your gaze, but you pointedly stare straight ahead and clench your jaw. He’s stumbling over both his words and the tracks beneath his feet, trying desperately to appease you. “Shit, I’m sorry.”
“You’re an asshole, Steve Harrington.”
“Y/N, please, I said I was sorry–”
You finally face him, grabbing his elbow to ensure he doesn’t move. “I told you that stuff about Jonathan in confidence. You don’t get to throw it back in my face, joking or not.”
It doesn’t help that you’re already confused enough as it is about the boy and your feelings towards him. To have Steve tease you about it, especially because he knows how painful jabs about Nancy are… It really fucking hurts.
Steve looks like a kicked puppy as you storm ahead of him and Dustin, putting enough distance between you guys so that you can’t hear their conversion that follows.
“Shit…”
“You’re awful with women.” Dustin says, now continuing to walk. He doesn’t bother to follow after you, knowing that you need your space to cool down. “I wouldn’t follow her, by the way. Let her cool off.”
Steve sighs, now walking as well, “Yeah, I know.”
They walk in silence for a little while, Steve hanging his head in shame and Dustin leading the way, frustrated by being stuck with two overly emotional teens.
After a while the silence eats at Steve, so he decides to continue the conversation from earlier. “So, this girl… is she someone you’ve known a while?”
Dustin shakes his head, “No, she’s new at our school. She’s super cool, though.”
“I remember back when I based my attraction to girls on their coolness.” Steve mumbles.
“And look where basing it off their hotness has gotten you.”
“Ouch,” Steve rubs at his chest, wounded.
Dustin laughs and flings some bait at him. “I thought that if I showed her Dart, she’d think I was cool, too, and like me.”
Steve sidesteps the thrown bait and tries to comprehend what the younger boy is saying. “So, you kept something that you knew was probably dangerous in order to impress a girl who… you just met?”
“Alright, that’s grossly oversimplifying things. And anyways, who are you to give me girl advice? My sister is literally three hundred feet ahead of us because you pissed her off with one singular sentence.” Then, almost as if as an afterthought, Dustin adds, “congrats, by the way. I’ve never seen someone piss her off so quickly.”
“Look, this isn’t about me, okay? Sure, I messed up with Y/N, but it isn’t like I was hitting on her to begin with,” Dustin makes a disgusted face as Steve quickly continues, panicked. “So she doesn’t count. I just feel like you’re trying way too hard, man.”
“Well, not everyone can have your perfect hair, alright?” Dustin grumbles.
Steve shakes his head, slightly amused by the boy’s antics. He’s so much like you, and yet so different, and Steve is realizing it’ll take a lot to keep up with the kid. “It’s not about the hair, dude. Chicks dig more than just a good hairstyle.”
“You’re literally known as Steve ‘The Hair’ Harrington.”
“Hey, ‘King Steve’ is also there.”
Dustin flings even more bait at Steve, now annoyed with him. “Whatever man, it’s not like you’d be any help anyways.”
“Oh really? Well, Little Henderson, I’m about to blow your mind: the key to girls is just acting like you don’t care.”
“Even if you do?”
“Yeah, exactly.” Steve now brightens up, happy to finally be getting through to the boy. For Steve, he’s long since learned that the best way to avoid getting hurt is to pretend that he doesn’t care. “It drives them nuts.”
“Then what?”
“You just wait,” Steve looks ahead, watching you and feeling like a complete dick. He really hadn’t meant to hurt you, hell the two of you were finally starting to get somewhere and yet… Steve fucked it up. As always.
He can see that your shoulders are still tensed up, you’re walking faster than you need to be. He feels a heavy weight in his stomach, one that he’s never felt before; he doesn’t like it. “You wait… until you feel it.”
Dustin furrows his brows. “Feel what?”
Steve tears his gaze away from you and turns back to Dustin, beginning to explain the electricity between someone you’re interested in. Being the geek that he is, Dustin turns it into a scientific discussion and Steve does his best to steer the conversation back.
“No, like sexual electricity.” He explains.
As soon as the words leave Steve’s lips, you whip around and shout, “Are you seriously talking to my little brother about sexual electricity?”
Both Dustin and Steve freeze in place, dumbfounded. You let out a loud groan and continue stomping away, now even more aggressively throwing the chunks at the train tracks.
“How did she even hear me?” Steve whispers, terrified.
“I don’t know,” Your brother whispers back, also equally frightened. “Sometimes I think she has powers like El.”
Once you’re a safe enough distance away from them, Dustin hesitantly brings the girl conversation back up. “Hypothetically, what do girls like?”
Steve takes a second to answer, carefully rolling the question around in his mind. “It depends on the girl. Some girls want you to be aggressive, ya know? Go in for the kiss, make them feel protected. Strong, hot and heavy. Like a lion.”
Dustin hums to indicate he’s following along, but ‘like a lion’ has him a little worried about the reliability of the conversation. He knows that Steve is a lady’s man, but he’s also never seen him with any girl besides Nancy, and the one time he saw him with you, he had immediately pissed you off.
So for all Dustin knows, it could be lies.
Steve continues his confusing explanation. “But others? You gotta be slow, you gotta be stealthy… like a ninja!”
“Okay, what type is Nancy?” Dustin asks, hoping to get the teen to stop making stupid analogies. Lions, ninjas… maybe it was all lies.
The question catches Steve off guard and he stumbles a bit, feeling the familiar sense of protectiveness, insecurity, over the girl as well as a new sense of loss. What type is Nancy? If he had been asked this a week ago, Steve would’ve told Dustin that she’s a nice girl, a girl he could happily bring home to his parents and proudly wrap around his arms. Now? He’s not so sure.
Not when he can still see the anger and disgust in Nancy’s eyes that night at the party.
“Nancy’s different,” he recalls his conversation with you from last night, how he’d confessed to always feeling two steps behind the girl and how exhausting it all is. “She’s just different. Let’s move on to the next question.”
Dustin notices Steve’s change in demeanor but doesn’t say anything. He supposes that you and him have a lot in common, then. “Okay, what type would you say Y/N is?”
Once again Steve isn’t expecting the question Dustin asks. “What–” he trips over a twig and just barely manages to catch himself. “Why would you ask me that? She’s your sister, and I don’t even like her–”
“Relax, Romeo. She’s just similar to Nancy and the girl I like, and I figured you’d know Y/N well enough by now considering you guys slept together–”
“I slept on her bean bag–”
“And have been friends for like, a year. Plus, she’s in love with Jonathan, you’re in love with Nancy, and coincidentally they’re in love with each other. Figures that there’s some type intermingling between the four of you.”
How the hell does everyone know about Nancy and Jonathan? Steve thinks bitterly.
He’s silent for multiple seconds, absolutely at a loss for what to say. He doesn’t know where to begin or what to even deny. Technically the boy is right, as much as it hurts Steve to admit. He’s all but lost Nancy to Jonathan, and you’ve lost Jonathan to Nancy.
In an extremely messed up way, you and Nancy do have the same type. On top of that, both you and Nancy are close to Jonathan, so it’s safe to assume there’s similarities to the both of you that Steve doesn’t even want to touch on right now.
Even more importantly, Steve has yet to really decipher why your presence alone can make or break his entire day. Why, after months of not talking, it now feels like he’s finally come home again with you back in his life.
He looks at you again, still angrily throwing your bait, and he supposes that you’re a lot like Nancy in certain aspects, and yet completely different from her. “Y/N is also different, I guess. She’s incredibly intelligent both emotionally and academically. Isn’t she like the top of her class?”
Dustin nods, proud of the Henderson intelligence, and Steve continues.
“Right. I’d say she’s like Nancy, except she’s softer?” Steve cringes at his own words, suddenly uncomfortable with comparing the two of you. In his mind, you’re both your own separate entities that infatuate him in different ways.
You both burn Steve; Nancy is like a shot of whiskey, the thrill that follows the burn. But you? You’re a fireplace after hours of being out in the cold, the burn of it warming his bones.
“Y/N is just… she’s special, but everyone knows that. Your sister is the most caring person I’ve ever met, and I know I’m a lucky son of a bitch to be someone she trusts.”
Dustin snorts. “Yeah you are.”
Up ahead, you finally slow down and face the boys, now waiting for them to catch up and call out, “C’mon, ladies! The sun sets soon, I don’t want Lucas waiting in the cold all alone.”
“Looks like I’ve been forgiven.” Steve says, relief evident in his voice, something that your brother doesn’t miss.
Dustin lets out another loud snort, patting him on the chest, “Oh, my sister may be forgiving, but she never forgets.” With that, he walks away to catch up with you.
“Well, isn’t that ominous.”
You greet the boys with a tired smile, knowing there’s no use holding resentment towards Steve. He couldn’t have known about your mixed feelings towards Jonathan, you know he had only been trying to get along with Dustin.
Things are still weird between you two, despite the conversation from last night, but it’s hard to stay mad at Steve and honestly, you don’t really want to be mad at him. It’s been so lovely having him around again, and your own confusing feelings can wait.
Steve leans in close to you, gently grabbing at your hand so that you don’t walk away. “Hey, we okay?”
His eyes are full of concern and his voice is sickly sweet like honey. With the honey, the remaining bits of anger vanishes. “Of course we’re okay.”
Steve exhales deeply and you giggle at him before remembering that Dustin is quite literally a few feet away from you two. Coughing, you hold up your bucket to point out how it’s almost empty. “I guess in my rage, I flung more than I intended. How are your buckets holding up?”
The two boys hold their buckets up, giving you a mock solute to indicate that all is good. You laugh, impressed by how synched they’ve become in such a short time.
“Alright, then. Let’s get going.” As you all begin to walk in line again, you ask, “What were you guys even talking about, anyways?”
The boys glance at each other in a conspiring way, which causes you to roll your eyes. They’re acting like you asked for their deepest and darkest secrets. They seem to have a silent conversation for a couple seconds before Steve finally speaks up.
“I was just giving Little Henderson some girl advice. Nothing serious.”
You raise your eyebrows, your heart swelling a bit at the idea of Steve giving your brother advice. It’s sweet, really. “Girl advice, huh?”
“Yeah, why do you sound so skeptical?”
“Because you’re terrible with girls.”
Dustin now butts in, “He told me to be aggressive.”
“I did not!”
“He also said that you’re softer than Nancy.”
You make a face. “Thank you? I think?”
Steve tugs at his hair in frustration. “You two are the worst people I’ve ever met. You know that, right?”
In unison, you and Dustin reply, “We get that a lot.”
Steve stares at the two of you with slight horror in his eyes. “Yeah, alright. I’m out.”
You grab at his sleeve, gently stopping him from storming away. You give him an apologetic look and pull him close so that your chest bumps against his. “You’ve gotta get used to the Henderson humor, Steve.”
He looks surprised by your tugging at his sleeve before he lets a smile cross his face. He doesn’t do anything else, but he also doesn’t back away, either, and you find yourself blushing a bit under his gaze.
You clear your throat and let go of his sleeve, stepping back a bit. “Anyways, why don’t you tell me what wise advice you have for my brother.”
The smile that was just on Steve’s face vanishes as he looks away from you. “I was just telling the kid to not fall in love with his little crush. He’s too young for heartbreak and all that other shit.”
“I’m not in love with her!” Dustin exclaims in disgust, but you’re too distracted by Steve’s words to assure your brother that you believe him.
“Well, I believe that love is something beautiful.” You say, your words only meeting Steve’s turned back. He doesn’t acknowledge you, but you know his indifference holds no malice. He’s still hurting, still in love with Nancy Wheeler. “Dustin, you may be too young to be in love, but don’t listen to Steve. To love and be loved is the luckiest thing we can ever do, regardless of how it ends.”
Dustin blanches at your words, grossed out now. “Okay, okay, stop! Love is gross. I get it.”
You softly mumble sorry to him, now suddenly remembering that he’s only thirteen. When you were his age, the idea of love also grossed you out. Now, love is a concept that you’ve found a comforting warmth in, even if it's burned you a few times and has left you more exhausted than exhilarated. One day he’ll understand (in the far off future, hopefully).
For now, you flick your brother’s hat and follow after Steve, finishing the rest of the bait journey in silence.
–
By the time the three of you get to the junkyard, it’s already about midday.
It’s different from how you imagined it, filled with old cars and a giant school bus. It’s more open, too, not as “junkyard” as you assumed.
You, Steve, and Dustin stand at the top of the hill, surveying the area. Your feet ache from the walk and the sun is hurting your eyes. Seeing you squinting, Steve wordlessly hands you his signature Raybans and motions for you to put them on.
“Oh, yeah. Yeah, this will do. It’ll do just fine,” He says, satisfied as he begins to walk down the hill. Then, as an afterthought, he says to Dustin, “Good call, dude.”
Dustin beams with pride and you fill with so much happiness, seeing the boy getting along so well with Steve, that you almost regret not having them meet sooner. However, there’s no time to wallow in what-if’s and you put Steve’s sunglasses on to follow after the boys.
Immediately you and Steve get to work, working seamlessly together side by side, months of him joining you in Bookstrordinary finally being put to use. While you and Steve silently scatter more meat and grab supplies, Dustin surveys the area.
Just as you’ve dumped the remaining meat in the middle of the field, you hear Lucas’ voice call from a few yards away, “I said medium well!”
The boy is with Max, who looks slightly displeased, yet curious, to be here. Despite her still obvious hesitation, you still feel excited seeing the girl. You’ve been meaning to talk more to her, she seems like such a lovely girl.
“Who’s that?” Steve asks you.
“Max! She’s great, and–” You start gushing about the girl, eager to go and say hi, before you see the crestfallen look on Dustin’s face when he realizes why she’s with Lucas. You remember, then, the weird tug-of-war between the boys over her. Shit.
You grab at Steve’s hand and pull him aside. “Actually, Steve, why don’t we start finding some panels to cover the bus?”
Steve gives you a questioning look, but when you silently motion towards Dustin and he sees his despair as well, he catches on and just nods, following along. Without having to tell him, he understands that you want to leave Dustin alone so he can talk to Lucas.
As always, you’re forever thankful that he can read you so well.
After guiding Steve away, you and him begin to prep the junkyard alongside Max. While the boys are talking, you take this as an opportunity to get to know the girl better.
“So,” you begin, helping Max carry a large piece of wood over to the bus. “I see you’re back again.”
“Looks like it,” she shrugs, not really feeling like talking. Seems like she’s still mad at you for yesterday, taking Lucas’ side over hers.
You sigh. “Well, I’m glad you’re here.”
“That’s a first.” Again she deflects, but you know she’s doing it out of hurt rather than maliciousness.
“I know you don’t really like me right now, which I totally understand, I just wanted to let you know that while I don’t like that you’ve been dragged into this mess, I’m happy you’re here.”
Max frowns at you. “You guys act like I’m going to like, die or something.”
A scrap of metal that you’d been carrying slips from your hands. Steve hears this and comes rushing over to help, but you gently wave him away and focus on Max. “I don’t know what Lucas told you, but it’s all true. It’s dangerous, being here, and I just… If you ever get hurt, any of you kids, then it’d be on me and I’d never forgive myself.”
“Way to be a buzzkill, Y/N.” Steve nudges you, trying to get you to smile before your ever-present guilt bears down upon you.
Max bites her lip, still disbelieving, but she recognizes the pained look of protectiveness on your face. It’s not something that someone can easily fake, and from what she’s heard about you, your kindness is one of the few genuine things in Hawkins.
Before she can say anything else, Steve lets out a huff and grabs a chair to bang on the car that Lucas and Dustin are talking behind. “Hey! Dickheads! How come it’s only Y/N and some random girl helping me?”
“Language!” You chastise.
Steve sends you a thumbs up, not really listening. “We lose light in forty minutes. Let’s go!”
Dustin and Lucas reluctantly start helping, both calling Steve an asshole and throwing him dirty looks, which you can’t help but laugh at.
Lucas sees you laughing and points at you. “Are you the reason Harrington is here?”
“Mhm,” you respond, nailing another piece of wood to the bus. “He’s done more to help than you have, so either pick up some metal and help or go sit in a corner and sulk. Up to you.”
Steve high fives you. “Yeah! What she said!”
Lucas’ shoulders sag, completely at a loss as to how any of this has happened. “This is so weird.”
“Dude, I’ve spent all day with them. Imagine how I feel,” Dustin groans. “I think I died a little when I found out they’ve been friends for like, a year.”
“A year?” Lucas gasps.
“Guys!” You throw pebbles at the two boys to break up their little gossip session. “One, I’m incredibly hurt you two didn’t think I had any friends besides Jonathan. Two, start helping before I throw more rocks.”
“Yes ma’am,” both boys grumble in unison, which Max finds pretty impressive.
After that, the five of you get to work. You guys use every item available in the junkyard to secure the bus, hoping that with enough stacked against it, you’ll be safe from Dart once he’s lured. Barrels are rolled, more sheets of metal are placed against the bus, and within the next hour or so you’ve successfully managed to build a decent base.
All that’s left is to pour the gasoline trail, which you help Steve with as the kids watch from inside the bus.
“I’m getting major deja-vu right now,” you mumble as Steve pours.
“Gasoline at Jonathan’s?”
“Mhm. God, he wouldn’t believe what we’re doing right now.” You know he would’ve loved this bizarre interaction. You, Steve, and the kids all in a junkyard trying to lure a baby Demogorgon.
You’ve definitely had better babysitting days, and Jonathan would have a field day with this one.
Once you’re done with the gasoline, you and Steve return to the bus. He waits behind you, making sure you’re securely in the car, before he heaves the old bus door closed. As soon as the door is closed, you and Steve exhale together.
You share a look, both in silent agreement to keep the kids safe no matter what. It’s your guys’ job to keep them safe, to fight for and protect them.
Deja-vu again. You’re back in Jonathan’s house, holding a switchblade while Steve wields his bat.
“Ready?” He asks you, extending his hand out for you to grab.
You interlock your fingers through his. “When am I ever?”
Steve laughs, dispelling away any remaining uncertainty and fear. You know, that no matter what, that he’ll be by your side to help. With this in mind, you join the kids further into the bus.
Lucas climbs the ladder up to the top, something you’re not fully okay with, but he’s the one with the binoculars and you the switchblade, so it makes the most sense. As the boy climbs, you sit down next to Steve as he flicks his lighter on and off. You’re pressed shoulder to shoulder, his presence grounding you.
Dustin paces, and all you can do is watch him as you try to settle your own nerves. Max has seated herself at the other end of the bus, her arms crossed as usual.
After a few moments of silence, she finally speaks. “So, you really fought one of these things before?”
Steve nods and you hum in agreement. “Unfortunately.”
“And you’re, like, totally, 100% sure it wasn’t a bear?”
“I mean, to be fair I also had that same thought last year–”
Dustin cuts you off. “Shit, don’t be an idiot, okay? It wasn’t a bear.”
You roughly grab at your brother, yanking him towards you to shut him up. “Dustin–”
“Why are you even here if you don’t believe us?” He sneers at Max, something you’ve never, ever seen your sweet brother do. “Just go home.”
Max clenches her jaw and you send her an apologetic look, but she rolls her eyes at you. “Geesh, someone’s cranky. Past your bedtime?”
“Max, wait–” She ignores you and climbs up the ladder to join Lucas. You groan once she’s gone, now more than ever wanting to strangle your brother. “Dustin, what the hell was that?”
“That was good, Y/N!” Steve says, a proud smirk on his face. “He showed her he didn’t care, just like I told him to.”
“Oh, so it’s your fault my sweet, innocent baby brother is now some woman hating misogynistic piece of–”
“I don’t hate women, Y/N.” Dustin tiredly says, before directing his next words to Steve. “And I don’t care.”
Steve winks at the boy, but immediately flinches back when you raise your hand to smack him. “Yeah, cower away, you idiotic and moronic–”
“Y/N, stop overreacting and Steve, stop winking at me.”
You raise your eyebrows at Dustin’s tone and he quickly clears his throat and steps away from you. Steve puts some distance between you two as well, scooting away a bit so that he’s out of hitting range.
It’s quiet again, both boys now scared of your anger, and you anxiously wait for Dart to show up.
Steve goes back to flicking the lighter, Dustin paces again, and you tap your foot nervously. The silence is killing you, it’s always been your least favorite part of the Upside Down. The waiting, hoping you’re prepared for when all hell inevitably breaks loose.
You flick your own blades out, admiring the way the blades catch in the moonlight, when you hear a loud growl come from outside. Instinctively you raise your blades to your face while Steve and Dusin scramble to peek through the metal sheets to look out the window.
“You guys see him?” Dustin asks as he crouches next to you.
You shake your head. “No,”
There’s nothing outside, only a thick haze of fog that has settled over the junkyard.
“Lucas, what’s going on?” Your brother calls up to his friend.
“Hold on!” The boy responds.
Your heart begins to beat faster, your blades never straying away from your face, poised for a fight. Steve sees the way your knuckles whiten over your weapon and he grabs your spare hand, gently coaxing you to calm down.
Your fingers tighten around Steve’s and you remember his words from last night, promising you that he’ll be there, and you believe him.
From the bus’ roof, you hear Lucas call down, “I’ve got eyes! Ten o’clock–ten o’clock!”
There, in the haze of fog, you see a hunched figure stalk its way towards the bus. Seeing Dart, you’re filled with complete dread. He’s grown again, much bigger than you’ve ever seen him.
He’s practically the size of the Demogorgon from last year, the same one that almost killed you and Steve.
“What’s he doing?” Dustin asks, as if anyone else would have any more information than he does.
“I don’t know,” Steve sighs, his eyes never leaving Dart.
You squeeze his hand again and hold your breath as you watch the Demodog. He slowly approaches the bait, inspects the area, but he doesn’t seem to be interested in it. You send a silent prayer to whatever god is above that your plan will work.
It has to work.
However, Dart starts to back away from the bait and Steve leans even closer to the window. “He’s not taking the bait. Why isn’t he taking the bait?”
“I don’t know,” you want to cry from exhaustion and fear and defeat.
Dustin looks over at you. “Maybe he’s not hungry?”
Something seems to click, then, for Steve. His eyes light up with an idea, and before he can even get his words out, you grasp at Steve’s arm and try to talk him out of it. “No, absolutely not. You’re not going out there.”
“Maybe he’s sick of cow.” Steve tries to make you let go of him, but you quickly tighten your hold on him and fight back. “Y/N, let me go, I can run fast and–”
“You can’t just use yourself as bait!” You plead, but Steve has always been stronger than you and he drags you behind him as he makes his way towards the bus door. “Steve, listen to me!”
“Steve? Steve!” Dustin finally catches on to what’s happening and he grabs at the teen as well. “What are you doing?”
Steve ignores you both and with a quick jerk of his arm, he frees himself from you. As soon as you’ve let go, he runs towards the door and snatches his bat from the ground. You curse, knowing there’s no way in hell he’s going out there alone, so you follow after him.
Dustin sees this and panics. “Y/N, please don’t tell me you’re going–”
“Stay put!” You command, scrambling after Steve, who has now begun to open the door. He tosses you the lighter, which you toss to your brother. “Just get ready, Dustin!”
“Y/N!”
“I love you!”
Dustin continues to shout, his pleas laced with more fear than you’ve ever heard from him, but you force yourself to leave. Just as you’ve stepped outside and re-closed the bus door, Dustin pounds against the glass that you’ve locked, tears in his eyes.
You look away, despite how fucking hard it is, and it takes everythin within you to leave.
Steve saved your life last year.
Now it’s your turn.
It’s tense outside as you and Steve walk back to back, weapons out. He twirls his bat a few times, a move that you find yourself smiling at due to its familiarity. With your back against his, you whisper to Steve, “You look for Dart, I keep an eye for anything else?”
He nods, and together the two of you slowly follow the sound of Dart’s chittering.
“C’mon buddy,” Steve taunts, beginning to whistle.
“I know we named it a Demodog, but I don’t think whistling will help.”
“We could be about to die, and you’re seriously questioning what I’m doing?”
You shrug, eyes now on the skyline as the fog slowly thickens. “Habit.”
Steve chuckles, which brings some comfort to the fucking awful situation at hand. He whistles some more, continuing to taunt Dart. “C’mon. Dinner time.”
“Again with offering Dart meals while we’re near him,” you shake your head, not at all liking where any of this is going.
“What? At least human tastes better than cat.” Steve responds, now at the pile of raw meat.
You both stop here, Steve facing the bait and you facing the bus, still scanning for literally anything else that could possibly go wrong. Because you’re Y/N Henderson and nothing can ever, ever go right for you.
Dart lets out another growl, now having spotted Steve, and the teen swings his bat around. You spare a quick glance behind you and see Dart, who has placed all his focus on you and Steve.
Well, at least the live bait plan is working.
You turn away again, and as soon as you do, you see the other Demodogs now suddenly appear. Your blood runs cold when you see the two up ahead, one directly in front of you and one on top of the cars.
For a moment, your words seem to fail you and no sound comes out when you try to speak. All you can do is stare at them, overcome with fear. You’re back in Jonathan’s once more, the fear strangling you as the memories paralyze you.
From the top of the bus, Lucas yells, “Steve! Y/N! Watch out!”
“We’re a little busy here!” Steve yells back, eyes still on Dart.
The Demodog in front of you starts to approach, which finally seems to break you from your spell. Shakily, you tell Steve, “There’s more.”
“What?” He tries to turn around, but you shove at him to not lose sight of Dart. You can’t distract him now. Another Demodog has joined.
“Three o’clock! Right in front of Y/N!” Lucas screams, his voice cracking with fear.
“Y/N?” Steve fully turns around now when he realizes that you’re also in danger, and when he sees the three other Demodogs, he lets out a curse. “Shit.”
Suddenly, you and Steve are surrounded by Demodogs, more than you ever could’ve imagined. More than the two of you can even fight on your own.
Back at Jonathan’s, it had taken guns, fire, knives, and bats to kill a grown Demogorgon.
You don’t think your knives and Steve’s bat will be enough for Demodogs.
“Steve! Y/N! Abort!” Dustin has flung the bus door open, screeching for the two of you to get out of there.
It’s too late. Dart has opened his mouth and is running towards you two, his friends joining as well.
“I go left, you go right!” Steve has just enough time to direct you before Dart lunges.
You dodge, going right as instructed while Steve flings himself on top of a car to avoid the monsters. As Steve hits Dart with his bat, crouched against the car, you narrowly avoid the other Demodog and drop to the ground as it jumps over your head. “Shit!”
Steve swings his bat again and tries to make his way over to you, but you’re off the ground in a heartbeat and run to him instead. Two of the Demodogs are on him now, and there’s only so much damage his bat can do. Breathless, you run over and stab at their backs, doing everything you can to give Steve an opening to run.
Faintly, you hear the kids in the background cheering you guys on, urging you two to come home.
One of the Demodogs lets out a harsh screech as your blade pierces its skin. It crumbles to the ground, giving Steve just enough of an opening to begin running towards the bus. When he goes to run, you notice one of the Demodogs eying him, and before you can even process what’s happening, you’re throwing yourself in front of him and you feel nails tear at your ribs.
You scream, clutching at your side in agony, feeling blood quickly beginning to spill from your wound. “Fuck!”
“Y/N!” Steve starts to run toward you, pale with fear.
“No!” You shove him back towards the bus; you can’t let him get hurt because of you. “Go, I’ll be fine!”
He tries to argue, but you take a deep breath and grip his jacket tightly, practically flinging him inside the bus just before Dart lunges again. Together, the two of you stumble up the steps and barricade the door.
As soon as it’s closed, Dart begins slamming against it with his entire body.
Steve uses his legs to hold the door closed while you lay sprawled on the ground, trying to steady your breathing as more blood spills from you. The room is spinning and you’re pretty sure you can taste blood in your mouth.
Awesome. Cool.
The kids are screaming and Dart’s body causes the entire bus to rock as his friends now join, throwing their own bodies against the bus as well.
“Are they rabid or something?” Max screams, but everyone ignores her.
Steve, quick as ever, finds a spare piece of metal and wedges it against the door and uses his legs again to hold it in place. He looks over at you on the ground and feels his heart jump to his throat. You’re pale, a sheen of sweat now dotted across your forehead, and there’s now a concerningly large pool of blood where you lay. “Dustin, go help your sister!”
Dustin looks up and finally notices your injury and almost faints at the sight. In a daze, he runs over to you and kneels down, terrified of how much blood there is. “Oh my god.”
“I’m fine,” you wince, trying to clench your teeth and bear through the pain. “Honestly, this is like a paper cut.”
“Y/N–” The sound of glass shattering cuts Dustin off as a Demodog breaks through the window. Everyone screams, and your brother grabs your arms and drags you further towards the back of the bus to avoid any glass getting on you.
Wearily, you watch as Steve does whatever he can with his bat, and a part of you wants to laugh. He looks like he’s playing the hardest game of wack-a-mole ever.
Meanwhile, Lucas and Max have joined you and Dustin. When they see you, Lucas lets out a choked scream while Max covers her eyes.
“Are you okay?” Lucas kneels over you as well, and you find his sincerity endearing. He’s always been the sweetest in the group, the most comforting.
“Never been better,” you wheeze out.
Dustin instructs Lucas to stay with you while he tries to radio for help. “Is anyone there? Mike? Will? God? Anyone!”
“God would be pretty nice to have.” You remark, pain making you even more delirious than usual.
Max looks at Lucas. “She’s losing it.”
“I think I’m doing great, all things considered.”
Dustin continues to scream into his walkie for help while Lucas tries to stop your bleeding. Max is running around, looking for anything to help, and Steve is still stuck at the front of the bus playing wack-a-mole with Demodogs.
The situation is so fucking grim, and you’ve never wanted to laugh more.
Then, to make matters even worse, the ceiling of the bus starts to creak. You see the faint outlines of what suspiciously looks like Demodog footprints on the roof. In slow, agonizing footsteps, Dart makes his way over to the emergency exit on top.
He leers over, and Max, who is at the bottom of the ladder, screams.
Steve shoves the kids back and you try to get up, but Lucas pushes you down and shakes his head at you.
“You want some? Come get this!” Steve places himself between Dart and you and the kids, screaming at the thing and waving his bat around, and you’ve never been more attracted to him.
Dart lets out a blood curdling screech, his mouth full of rows of razor sharp teeth that killed your cat just the other day, and you cling onto Lucas’ hand. Another screech, and just before Dart strikes at Steve, it jumps off the bus and runs away.
Everyone freezes, unsure what to do, as more distant growls and howls can be heard from outside. Steve and the rest stand up, and you notice Lucas holding Max’s hand, and at least something good came out of this hellhole of a day.
“Any help here?” You finally ask after a minute or so, still lying helplessly on the ground as you bleed.
“Shit!” Steve drops his bat. “Where did it get you, where’s the bleeding? Dustin, did we pack any bandages, or–or an EMT stretcher or–”
“Steve,” you grab his hand, urging him to calm down. “It scratched the fuck out of my ribcage, but I’m not dying. I promise.”
“You’re not?” Dustin asks, tears in his eyes.
“I’m not. I just…” you shift, wincing at the pain. “I just really need a bandage and I’ll be good as new.”
Steve swallows, a frenzied look in his eyes, and nods. Without thinking, he tears a piece of your bloodied cardigan off and gently lifts your body up so that he can wrap the shred of cloth around you. He weaves it tight, his movements slow and delicate, his eyes never leave yours.
You can feel his hands shaking as he tends to your wound and ties the cloth with a knot. When he’s done, even though you’re aware of the kids’ eyes on you two, you bring his hands to your lips and kiss them. “Thank you.”
“Of course,” He whispers, brushing a strand of hair out of your face. Dustin coughs, which seems to make Steve remember where he is, and he clears his throat. “Right, well. Try not to lose any more blood, yeah?”
“I’ll try,”
Steve nods and stands back up, knowing Dustin and Lucas will want a moment with you, and makes his way back outside. He knows that they’re all still in danger, even if for some reason the Demdogs seem to have left.
Once Steve is gone, Dustin and Lucas help you stand, and as soon as you’re up, both boys try their best to give you a hug without hurting you.
“Don’t do that ever again,” Dustin sniffs, squeezing your uninjured side tightly.
“What he said,” Lucas sniffs as well, though he tries to hide his tears from you.
You laugh, your own tears evident as you hold the boys tight. “I promise.”
“You saved Steve,” Max notes, though her tone is neutral, you can see she’s impressed.
“I had to even out a debt.”
“Guys,” Steve calls from outside. “The coast is clear.”
Slowly, you and the kids make your way out of the bus. It takes some help from both Dustin and Lucas, but eventually you’re able to walk on your own, holding your side, and walk down the steps.
“You okay?” Steve is by your side as soon as you’ve stepped down, holding you so that he’s not touching your cut. You’re thankful for his support, the pain still making you feel woozy.
“We’ll talk later,” you motion towards the kids, not wanting to worry them any further.
He nods, although he hates that you feel like you can’t focus on your own safety.
“What happened?” Lucas asks the group.
“I don’t know.” Max looks around, and you think she’s finally starting to understand what she’s gotten herself into.
Dustin points to you and Steve. “Maybe they scared ‘em off?”
“No,” Steve shakes his head. It couldn’t have been that easy. “No way.”
“They’re going somewhere.” You finish for him, confirming your worst fears. Suddenly, more pain shoots through you and you wince again, squeezing your eyes shut.
Steve bends his head down, guiding you a bit away from the kids so that they won’t hear. “Hey, we don’t have to follow them. We can go home, you know.”
“We can’t.” You clench your jaw as pain rings throughout your body. The goddamn Demodog got you good. “We have to follow. It’s all connected, Will and his episodes, Nancy and Jonathan with the detective, and I’ll be damned if I back down now.”
“So we follow?” Steve asks, trusting whatever call you make.
You nod, knowing you have to do this. While you guys are safe for now, you know that everyone else has to be in danger; you have to protect them. “Unfortunately.”
-
⌑ series masterlist
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⌑ taglist: @siriuslysmoking @sheisjoeschateau @myeclispedsun @innercreationflower @juhdoche @frostandflamesfanfic @goosy-goose @quinnsadilla @munsons-queen @stefansring @rice-elephant @bex22109 @bitchkeery @bex22109 @officerrrfriendly @kazunish @idkitsem @emilieluckwood @ryoujoking @criesinlies @tagakalat @dcnerd98 @sucker-4-angst @kitdjarin1 @onecojg @innazra @areiofhope @spaghetittied @cultish-corner @g8sstuff @videogamesandpoorlifechoices
#steve harrington x henderson!reader#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington x you#stranger things#steve harrington fanfic#stranger things rewrite#slowburn#angst#wtlws#m's writing#this chapter almost killed me#but bug and steve FINALLY TALKED !!!!#also ilu lucas ur my baby
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彡on a variety show w your svt bf!
๑ idol!svt x idol!yn secret relationship series! no storyline, just fun.
one ๑ two ๑ three ๑ four ๑ five ๑ six ๑ seven #mlist
notes ๑ variety show 'my alcohol diary' has mentions of drinking & getting drunk.
your group plays esports (valorant, leave of legends, apex, etc) against svt as a hybe special!
wonwoo gives you a look when you both sit at the end of your respective tables, you on the right, him on the left making you two sort of beside each other.
as you both play, the host points out that your skills are extremely good. your group member brings up the fact that recently you’ve been spending a lot more time gaming in your free time to which wonwoo rests his head on his hand to cover his smile knowing that he’s the reason you’ve been gaming more. the host adds on that your play style is a bit similar to wonwoo giving both groups chills. “perhaps it’s what’s adapted after a long time of playing,” you calmly respond.
on the other hand with soonyoung— he keeps messing up, at one point he shot one of his members, “the keyboard isn’t following what i want to do.” and you’d fr just face palm yourself. the host mentions, “even yn is getting tired of your antics.” “what antics!? im really trying.” you hope he can make it when technology evolves further. after filming you meet up with him. “wasn’t i cool earlier?” he asks. “i think my baby cousin can beat you.”
jeonghan would be such a menace in this scenario cause omg he would target you. like if he spots you he will not stop shooting and chasing until he gets you— your group member watching all of this go down would try to shoot jeonghan yet somehow he’s dodging and still hunting you down— “let me breathe!?” jeonghan shouts at your member. “you’re not letting ME breathe?” you shout back.
๑
random play dance! (random song is played and you have to dance the correct choreography)
beforehand you'd ask seungkwan to help you with the dances but he was not about to help you out while you were in a different group! until in one of the rounds where you looked lost, seungkwan comes to the front and dances clearly as a way to help you. "you're helping the other groups! get to the back," competitive seungcheol would shout. "sorry i got excited," seungkwan laughs it off. being fr tho how does that man know that many choreographies.
i imagine seokmin/mingyu would whisper to you, "i got you, just follow me," and then he would be one of the first to be eliminated.
vernon keeps on looking at you and copying your dance— you can’t help but laugh at his facial expressions when he doesn’t know the dance but also somehow he’s surviving.
wherever you are in the arena, chan always ends up beside you.
๑
youngji's program 'my alcohol diary'
you’d go alone to promote your groups album. your episode was relatively short— they covered it up with 'yn got drunk super fast' but actually, whether you have a high tolerance or not, in the end when you got drunk, you just kept on gushing about your boyfriend. (bf can be any member)
when youngji asked you to teach her the dance of your song you went through it step by step until a certain part, “oh soonyoung choreographed this part and i gave it as a suggestion and it made the cut to the official choreo,” you said with a big smile. // “my boyfriend likes this part,” you danced the bit then nonchalantly continued to teach youngji but she’s standing, there still in shock of everything she’s heard.
after filming, your boyfriend would pick you up and take care of you till you sober up.
the next day youngji would message and reveal something to you.
yn: im so sorry for the short episode run-
youngji: if it makes you feel better, seungcheol/soonyoung/mingyu/minghao talked about you way more than you did about them.
๑
chinese whisper game as a mini game (there’s a given word/phrase and the word is passed on through all players, last players needs to shout it out word for word)
you’re standing in front of jeonghan/minghao and he keeps on blowing into your ear before he starts actually saying the given phrase—
but if it was the noise cancellation version (have to read lips or body actions to get the word/phrase)
seungcheol pouted at you when you couldn’t understand what he was saying which a lot of viewers found weird since he would usually only do that with his members.
you almost hug jeonghan/joshua/wonwoo when he got the word correct—
jun/wonwoo/jihoon keeps on giving you high-fives every round.
you consider choking soonyoung when he can’t get the word correct for shit.
you and minghao/chan kept on bickering over the way he would execute the word. the staff and your members would be more interested on how you guys fight rather than the word being finally passed over to the last person.
#彡 idol!svt x idol!yn#🐚☆#📢aya wrote!#seventeen#seventeen x reader#choi seungcheol#hoshi#kwon soonyoung#svt imagines#svt x reader#seventeen fluff#seventeen crack#svt fluff#seungcheol#jeonghan#seungcheol x reader#seokmin#mingyu#seungkwan#wonwoo#jeonghan x reader#wonwoo x reader#seokmin x reader#mingyu x reader#hoshi x reader#jeon wonwoo#svt seokmin#xu minghao#boo seungkwan#junhui imagines
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no bc im thinking about it and I don't see any season 3 where aziraphale and crowley are separated for more than an episode at most.
I was listening to David Tennant's podcast episode with Neil Gaiman (released Oct 2020) and Neil started talking about something secret he is working on that is, in hindsight, so obviously about good omens.
The exact quote:
"There's a project that I can't talk about right now that I'm writing with somebody I can't identify right now- this is a terrible way of going into a thing- where we'd been working on it for months and months, and we've been building everything up, but we didn't know how it ended. And, finally, we were in the same physical space, actually having a conversation that wasn't on the phone, and all of the sudden we had the ending. And having the ending, knowing beat by beat just what the emotional ending of the thing was, opened up the entire thing like a door. Because we had the plot, and we'd had the plot for a while, and we just weren't sure why we should care. Everything turned, and I immediately knew what the opening scene had to be. And what's lovely is nothing sort of really changes in the plot, but it now allows us to go, okay, that's important, that thing that we didn't know was gonna be important, that's important. It gives us a feeling of, or at least it gives me a feeling of bubbly excitement. Which means that anybody I can take on this journey is going to get to that place and be just as excited as I was."
(And then he immediately cites an example where he was writing Good Omens LOL. The signs were all there!)
ANYWAY, I think it's so interesting that the emotional beat of Aziraphale and Crowley being separated was not figured out until well into the writing process. It leads me to think that Aziraphale was never promoted in the unwritten sequel, right? So if they're following the plot of this unwritten sequel closely, I don't see how Aziraphale and Crowley could be separated for longer than an episode. We only have six episodes, and Season 3 has more plot beats to hit than Season 2 did.
It also makes me think about how Aziraphale leaving for Heaven really is just meant to be more of an emotional moment to plant the seeds for development in him and Crowley's relationship. I mean, obviously it is, but I don't know much significance it'll actually have in the plot of Season 3? If that makes sense? This is just me throwing out thoughts here, feel free to add anything!!
#like yes it has so much emotional significance#but only for a/c#and not to the specific plot points of the second coming and saving the world#ANYWAAYYYY#good omens#meta#i guess lmao#ineffable husbands#aziraphale#crowley#not art#good omens 2
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we might be witnessing something
obviously we all know how much i love byler, and what im about to say is going to sound like “gen z walking away from the white house on fire with hayloft by mother mother playing” but i have to speak my truth here- i think byler being canon will go FAR beyond the fandom and casual watchers of stranger things. we might literally be the early adopters of a pop cultural phenomenon that could go down in history as one of the most important moments in media history.
stranger things is a really bizarre phenomenon in the grand scheme of things, because it is SO famous. it’s popularity has been compared to shows like game of thrones, but it goes even beyond that, because EVERYONE watches it. i’ve been watching it since i was eleven. my mom watches it. my uncles watch it. my best friend watches it. my grandma watches it. it’s viewership is so wide because there are so many aspects of it that appeal to so many different people. the impact this show has sent a song released forty years ago to number one on the charts practically overnight and it STILL plays on the top 40 radio to this day.
think about american politics as they are right now- we’re bearing witness to one of (if not THE) most important election in american history. the difference between trump and kamala is the difference between potential dystopia and nuclear fallout and peace and progressiveness. if trump wins, he will pull all of our aid from ukraine, letting russia push forward into western europe, and we all know what happens when a country tries to push into western europe. trump’s agenda in project 2025 imposes potential laws that will take us back hundreds of years in lgbtq+ rights, rights for people of color, and women’s rights. this election has caused a huge amount of dread and fear in the american people especially as the days push on. and what do people historically cling to in moments of fear like this? art.
think about music during the vietnam war, movies like “red dawn” during the cold war, or mccarthyism during world war two. when people are afraid of the real world, they tend to turn to popular media for escapism. we’re already seeing it, as ridiculous as it sounds, in things like brat summer or the debate edits to chappell roan songs. it might not seem like it’s happening because everything about it is different today in the digital age versus sixty years ago when tvs were boxes, but it is. this is only the beginning. and with the release of the next stranger things season, it’s possible that it could only grow more.
picture this: it’s next july. trump has been sworn in as 47th president of the united states and is six months into his second term. there’s already talks of him overturning obergefell v. hodges (the supreme court ruling that gave us gay marriage), there’s now a nationwide abortion ban, and political opponents of his are slowly seeming to disappear and go inactive. but hey! the 2020’s most beloved tv show is airing its last season this week.. it’s an easy way for us all to feel nostalgia about a time (wether that be the 80s or summer 2019) when our country was progressing forward instead of so drastically backwards as it is now, or to just watch a cool sci-fi show with one of the highest viewerships of any show ever, second only to game of thrones. everyone is turning on their tvs at midnight to watch these new episodes and suddenly- the main couple consisting of the two main characters of the show breaks up, the boy leaving the girl for his childhood best friend, whom he has been in love with for years but been forced to ignore because of the way society views gay people?
and everyone is seeing this, even 40+ y/o homophobes who watch the show for the nostalgia factor and never suspected a thing. the public is outraged. fox news is going on about the gay agenda. but the shock of the news is turning heads. people are changing their minds because… people being gay actually hasn’t only been a thing for the last ten years??! gay people might not actually be lesser humans? ANYBODY CAN BE GAY? what is happening! we know everyone watches this, so people of all backgrounds all across the world and more specifically the country are reacting to this in different ways. but no matter how you look at it, everyone is talking about it. it’s all over everyone’s for you page, SNL is parodying it, anderson cooper is talking about it on CNN, trump is denouncing it on twitter, there’s a push for it to be banned in florida.
suddenly, the democrats are picking up on this, because isn’t this everything we’ve been fighting for this whole time put at the forefront of a mainstream show? this is forcing everyone to confront the implications of having a gay ship be the focal point of a show with the viewership of stranger things, and the democratic party and it’s supporters pick up on this, turning it into a symbol and essentially a martyr of the party as a whole. whatever song (and you know there will be a song) that’s used in the scene where byler becomes official is immediately topping the charts. people are walking around wearing t shirts with byler quotes on them like we’re seeing now with the kamala brat t shirts. hundreds of people are influenced by it and we may even see an increase in support for politicians who advocate specifically for gay rights or are gay themselves.
this all happens because when people who are being spotlighted by pop culture speak out, everybody hears it. it’s the same reasoning behind why an endorsement from taylor swift could outright win kamala this election. a huge part of our population has quiet beliefs that they’re just waiting to dive into until somebody in mainstream media tells them that it’s a good idea. in making byler cannon, stranger things could be changing the trajectory of popular culture and american politics as a whole for years to come. it’s all about the domino effect. if people see this, all it does is open a gateway for other stories and conversations to happen, because something so outrageous as making byler canon during the early stages of project 2025 will turn the heads of every politically inclined person in america, from every maga cap wearing trucker to every blue haired barista, and when heads are turned things are changed.
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The Evealia Guide Through Babel (event) - Part IV
Man, why do all of you have the most terrible names to remember? This is what actual witchcraft sounds like. Aefanyl. I'm going to scramble him like I'm scrambling these letters trying to make the name Logos out of this Scrabble.
Even more interesting is the aspect that she used magic to preserve the way she looks, so she can be eternal in his memory. It's kind of sweet, kind of... sad. Very sad if you think about how it seems like she doesn't have a long time left. I wonder if I can find anything else about her--
O, lady,
THIS MAKES SO MUCH SENSE NOW, LOOK AT THIS
SHE IS ONE OF THE SIX HEROES????
That makes... Her, Theresis, Theresa, Kal'tsit....? Two more are missing. It might be obvious but I genuinely forgot right now. I'm sure when Dr. Pinkie sees this she's going to beat me over the head since we spoke about this.
Anyways,
Ascalon is fighting with Theresis this time. It's a bittersweet goodbye too.
Theresis is still respected by Ascalon, so it's a struggle for her to face him truly. He's also giving her some fair pointers as a last goodbye.
[You still don't know what you seek, do you? To protect? That's just empty self-deceptive sentimentality. When you're unsure of your path, you merely project your motivations onto vague ideals.] <I really like this quote. Can you tell?
[I-I've thought about it carefully.]
[Perhaps. Then follow Theresa and protect her, but don't blindly adopt her ways. Think for yourself. Manfred found his answer long before you did.]
Then, Ascalon falls to one knee and turns to a mist that closes around Theresis. When it disperses, he's left with a stone knife in his hand.
As terrifying as that conversation was, nothing could prepare me for the one Theresa and Theresis had - basically agreeing that if any of them comes in the way of the other, they will have to be killed.
The Babel procession stretches far as the eye could see, past the disdainful crowd. Theresis walks towards the crowd and stand with them. He has left Theresa's side for the first time in two centuries.
They say their goodbyes.
Then something occurs, enough the silence the restless onlookers and momentarily halt the procession.
[A mercenary steps out of the line to embrace his best friend in the procession. No one can hear the whispers exchanged between the two friends by the ruins of Babel, but all are willing to wait and give them their moment of farewell.]
[A farewell between the people and their city, and between two peoples of the same blood.]
With them, Odda also part ways. With his family. His home.
For Theresa's eyes only, there's a letter. A functional ship has been excavated from Rim Billington. On it, she found something that could change the tide of history.
Given its importance, Kal'tsit has a lot of faith in its utility for their plan.
---
BB-ST-2
Awakening in Exhaustion
[Things have not gone according to plan.]
PRIESTESS???
Can I be honest? I'm going to be honest.
I don't really like Priestess. I think yesterday Dr. Kryo asked what we all think about her and my immediate response is 'I hope she died'. Which, I think if somebody (not me) has read Vigilo they might confirm what happened with her.
If anything, I think I'm going to go and have a little dip in Vigilo since it's one of those episodic stories and I checked out the Wiki long enough to figure out which episodes will be important to understand.
But overall, yeah, I don't like her and I've been struggling to understand the Doctor for long enough to know that I probably never will agree with their ideas. As Priestess says, us lower-intelligence lifeforms can't even hope to understand their greater plans.
And speaking of plans, we should move on with the Babel story.
Four Years Ago...
Summer, 1090
We're opening with Closure and Scout, how wonderful. Hm... Interesting, why do I have this nagging feeling that there's something inherently sad about the situation?
Ah.
Well, they are on a mission. Closure imparts with us the detail that she and Kal'tsit have secured the ship and have been working on dealing with the defence system for a specific package that is on board.
Snapping to Kal and Theresa, they're talking about a specialist in Originium, the only person who can help with their task. They stand before a set of doors that have not been opened for a long time, reminiscing in the fact that Kal'tsit, no matter how careful she is, still cannot predict all the contingencies.
But they open it anyway.
And this light, we're familiar with. There was once an event, where we witnessed this same feeling, the same occurrence and that same red light shining down on Kal'tsit. Though, this is a couple of years prior.
In Lone Trail.
[Search: Preserver... No signal.] [Search: Caerula Arbor... No signal.] [Search: Celestial Fulcrum... No signal.] [Search: (Unknown static noise)... No signal.] [.......] [Search complete. No signal detected on any channel.] All these spots we are familiar with and for me it was bone-chilling to see them. Preserver is a reference to the Preserver Project, which was created by the "First Civilization" at some point after the "disaster from above" that resulted in the Civilization's near-total annihilation. They are meant to act as overseers of the Sarcophagi where the Civilization's survivors are kept in stasis until they can be awakened when the situation stabilizes in the distant future so they can restore their civilization. [Image above]
Caerula Arbor is our current IS4. Known also as the "Creeping Branch" is a dying tree-like Leviathan representing the power of "Growth" who had lost His struggle in controlling the kin, causing Him to fall from grace from the Many. His roots grow towards the core of Terra and feed on the energy of the magma beneath the surface, and is said to have the potential to consume the entire planet if allowed to grow unchecked, but currently, the Arbor is acting as a mere food source that nourishes microscopic Seaborn cells in the ocean.
Celestial Fulcrum is uh...
:)
And actually, we know a little bit more about the unrecognisable static, because we have already seen it part of a concept trailer. We were actually JUST shown this, so I did such a good job strategically stalling just so I can put this in the script.
youtube
Voila, if you have not seen it yet.
This is very kindly provided by the Wiki.
[Last update: Four million, seven hundred fifty-five thousand, nine hundred and fifty-four days ago.]
Me thinks it's around 13K years and that's quite a bit since the last update.
So the Doctor was woken up rather early, with Originium still abound. Interesting part is, they're surprised about the way it has managed to survive/has evolved - through the Sarkaz and Oripathy.
Oh no this is so endearing....
It's so endearing and sad at the same time. Doctor learning about Theresa, holding her warm hands. She was so excited to learn the language of the past from Kal'tsit, but instead Doctor hits her with 'my world is lost'.
For those like me who missed it entirely SOMEHOW, Civilight Eterna is the Crown of the Sarkaz, although I'm not sure how Doctor recognises it when he was not present during it's... release(?) and whether he understands the significance of it differently to what I know.
She's showing the Doctor different parts of their... life, I suppose.
This quote stuck out to me a lot:
Before I'm immediately on my knees because of the mentioning of a pioneer chasing the stars is pushing forward with his fallen ally on his back.
This is UNFAIR,
THEY'RE BEING MENTIONED AGAIN.
After witnessing the way Terra is right now, the Doctor seems to take it in rather well. In their view, it's all moving in the right direction, a mix of ignorance and progress that feels nostalgic and beautiful. Within Theresa, the Doctor spots somebody who loves Terra, not just a single nation. Her ideals are pure, but ultimately, way too different. She might be loathed for that, because her people aren't ready for this kind of step.
Thus the Doctor is willing to cooperate and help by first exploring the land itself to learn about the way Originium has influenced life, culture and the environment.
Ascalon is being sent after them both for protection and with a secret little task from Theresa - to explore the things other nations have, because the Sarkaz don't have the luxury to choose.
#arknights#arknights event#doctor arknights#arknights sarkaz#arknights babel#babel event#arknights theresa#arknights ascalon#arknights commentary#Eve cried again#arknights lore#arknights story#arknights doctors#friendship#part 4#doctor of ri shenanigans#arknights banshees#Youtube
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My Thoughts about House of the Dragon 2x02
Poor Haelena. No one cares about her or is with her. They only care about the dead baby. She is a victim too.
Otto taking advantage of a dead child is just cruel. He is only about propaganda against Rhaenyra.
Alicent asking Haelena if she has seen her with cole was just, ist that your only concern right now? Your daughter has seen her child being murdered.
The procession was a bit much for my opinion. Haelena having a panic attack. She deserves better.
The whole Rhaenyra saying to Daemon that she cant trust him and never has is stupid. Why did she marry him then? She said herself that her claim is stronger with him and now it's suddenly not? I 'm sorry but i m on Daemons side in this. To be clear i dont support the dead of the child. But Daemon has never lied to her why would he now? I dont know what Rhaenyras goal is she has not taken action so far and voiced it. And tahat is getting on my nerves. She is sitting the whole episode on Dragonstone and does nothing significant. Sending Baela instead of Jace to patrol Kings Landing i have a bad feeling.
That Daemon left after this i can understand. It was time that he got out of there. He should have been in Harrenhall since ep 10. She is triving her strongest ally away. In the book most of the people stood behind her because of Daemon. And here they argue about Viserys. The hard truth is that Viserys named Rhaenyra heir to get rid of Daemon. He is right. She wasnt named because she was better suited for the job she was 14 at the time. And he kept her because he was feeling guilty because of what he did to her mother.
Daemons flight off in the sunset was beautiful filmed. But he could have said something to Baela.
Criston Cole is official the worst character in the whole series and that includes thrones to me. He should chocke when he speaks words like honor and dignity. And now he has all the power in hands. Cant wait to see it backfire.
Otto was always a character that i despised from the very beginning. I have always thought that i would enjoy it when he gets dismissed as hand. But he was actully very reasonable in that scene. I must give it to him that he always tried to avoid blodshed. Rhys Ifans is a very talented actor. His little laugh when Aegon said that that his father wanted him to be heir.
The Erryk Arryk scene was very sad. No wonder they sent Daemon away so quickly. If he had been there it wouldnt have happened. They missed the opurtunity for a great book quote here.
"Six Men or sixty he is still Daemon Targaryen"
I'm very tired of Alicent fucking Chole.
Oh and Rhaenys should get more scenes next episode. Don't waste her like that.
The episode felt quite boring to me. Im quite disappointed. I think it was a mistake that Miguel Sapochnik got fired. The writing is not good.
Rhaenyras chamber is a waste of space and money. The room with the dragon on the wall was a beautiful bedroom. They should have kept it. I dont reconise Dragonstone anymore. I understand the libary set but not Rhaenyras bedroom.
#house of the dragon#daemon targaryen#rhaenyra targaryen#hotd spoilers#hotd#miguel sapochnik#alicent hightower#haelena targaryen#anti christon cole#otto hightower#review#just my thoughts
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Objectively funny for anyone to think buck is ready for buddie when he quite literally in the last episode said “im not sure what Im ready for but Im ready for something, and I think that something could be with you” like 1. Admits he doesnt really know what he wants while also acknowledging something was wrong with his past relationships and 2. Despite being into tommy seems to be directing his feelings in the wrong direction based on 704 gym scene and 705 maddie/buck scene. Its like both him and eddie are close to being ready to try/learn a romantic relationship together but eddie needs to sort out his newfound catholic guilt and prioritizing himself in a relationship and buck needs to take all of his ideas about what might make him happy and streamline them into things he knows he needs to be happy. Hope they take the time to flesh it out in a longer season 8 :)
yeah, this is what i keep saying—buck might now know he's into men, but he still doesn't have any clue about what he wants, or he's fooled himself into thinking he wants something else. his conflicting conversations with maddie and tommy in 7x04 are proof of this—on one hand, he straight up admits to maddie that it was eddie's attention he wanted. on the other hand, he does a complete 180 with tommy and says the opposite—and even tommy can clearly see right through his bullshit lol. this man actively does not know what he wants, keeps misrepresenting it to himself and/or others and is just now learning to use his words about it. like you said, even buck had admitted that he's not sure about what he wants out of this relationship with tommy. are we really gonna sit here and assume he's anywhere near ready to take a good look at his six-year relationship with eddie and see it in a different light? lol. lmao even.
honestly? if i had to sum up where both buck and eddie are at right now—
buck can accept the fact that he likes men, but he can't comprehend the idea of being in love with eddie.
eddie knows on some level that he's in love with buck, but he can't accept the idea of his being attracted to men in general.
thank you for coming to my ted talk :)
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hi i just started watching that 911 show in the background while working thinking it would be a basic cop show/procedural drama i could play for white noise to boost my productivity like i did with all six seasons of SWAT (shout out to shemar moore’s overly passionate pecs and BECAUSE SWAT IS FAMILY speeches and that one ryan and shane cameo for getting me through my job onboarding months ago) and avoid the attention issues i get with british legal and cop dramas (shout out to the current loml rupert penry jones on silk and whitechapel, his roles as clive reader and di chandler are iconic)
and like yes. 911 is exactly that. so cringey. so feel warm-y and trite in the worst ways possible, filled with random monologues, oddly paced and placed one-liners, random quote intros that desperately try to replicate the word bangers of criminal minds, unnecessary flashbacks interspersed in the worst episode arcs ever and completely destroying the suspense, and with the weirdest combination of over-acting and under-acting in the entire fucking world that i have ever seen, and some entire scenes i just cannot stand to watch but do anyway because of how unrealistic and ridiculous they are but oh my god when this show hits its high points, it hits them
i need angela bassett’s athena grant to come and railroad my life. i want her to point her finger in my face and threaten to cuff me to my bed like she did that boyfriend in that season one episode (and yes THAT HAPPENED THANK GOD THE BUCK CENTRIC SEXY SCENES DID NOT LAST AS LONG AS SOME OTHER SHOWS COUGH SWAT COUGH BUT WHY NO MORE ATHENA?) you my friends have not lived until you’ve seen her on the other end of a huge tv screen raising her eyebrow and acting like she’s about to beat you up with nothing more than her commanding tone.
and also like all the other fucking characters.
i watched this show hoping to have inane drama and dialogue watching over me while i send emails and plan. i did not watch this show to bite my nails over maddie buckley’s psycho ex husband storyline, nor to swoon over the romance between to her and chimney (howard han i would die for you, your bg episode was so sad but so beautiful and if you had died i wouldve been so sad, yours were the flashbacks that won me over), nor to fangirl over ROBERT FUCKING NASH AND HIS GUILT COMPLEX (I LOVE YOU BOBBY), or to have my heart grow three sizes with the fucking tsunami episode
like you guys, i was on the edge of my seat, eating my dinner and actually wondering if they were about to kill off christopher diaz and break my heart and buck’s heart and ruin everything and like they didnt but now evan buckley’s character growth is such an inspiration and i just dont want him to fuck it up by trying to go back to work early and ahhhhhhhhhhh this was supposed to be a casual watch but now im writing this so im gonna have to find something else or worse go back to watching silk or whitechapel in the bg and be enraptured by rupert
#911 abc#911 spoilers#911 show#911 fox#evan buckley#evan buck buckely#athena grant#bobby nash#christopher diaz#howard han#chimney han#911 chimney#maddie buckley#maddie x chimney#oh my god my inevitable fate is to be enruperted#i know enough of the internet to know that the buck and eddie ship is big but like let’s talk about the amazing relationships#and ham fisted family speeches this show has#mainly buck looking after christopher#my heart#bobby looking after the team#again my heart#the tsunami episode needs to pay my therapy bills#i have gone feral#FERAL
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im having so many feelings about john and gale in the new episode and i NEED to share them. buckle up guys this is a long one because this last episode was angsty for these two and i love psychoanalysis
HUGEEE MOTA SPOILERS!!!!!!!!!!
first and foremost, john is absolutely not okay. like i know we have seen this so many times already because he’s been on a mental decline since episode six but it’s gotten worse. the beginning scenes where him and gale fetch the water and gale tries to create some playful banter only to receive a mostly silent john is scary, especially because he knows that man is a chatterbox that can’t shut up to save his life. something has changed and gale knows, but gale doesn’t push it.
second of all, the topic of marge. nobody would ever make fun of a guy getting a letter from his girl because that’s the only source of joy they get inside the hell of a pow camp. but the way john seems almost annoyed by it, as if it is personally inconveniencing him is so noticeable. now one could argue it’s just because he doesn’t have a girl back home, but i don’t think he cares even a little bit about that. john has realized that his home is wherever gale is. which brings me to my third topic.
the scene where gale tells john he asked marg to marry him. the fact that he doesn’t even say those exact words, but rather “popped the question and she said yes”. god, the tension in that scene was goddamn near unbearable. john is entirely stoic which is concerning knowing that he is a man of emotion who feels things on an entirely different level than most men. something is turning within his brain and his way of congratulating gale was so robotic and almost calculated. i feel like a part of him kind of froze in that moment. i mean, he likely knew they would never get anywhere serious because hell this is the 1940s in the middle of a war but still. his buck is no longer his. and who does he have besides buck?
which brings me to one of my final points: john is realizing he doesn’t have anybody. that scene between them where he mentioned he never got letters because he didn’t set it up right, and was so concerned gale would only know this version of him and not his old self. i don’t think anything gale could’ve said would help, but it was nice that he tried at least… john’s whole world is gale, but gale has his world back in america. he has a home. he has something to return to and someone to love when he’s out of this mess. all john is going to return home to is his own loneliness and severe ptsd. john is a feeler and he feels things deeply and painfully, like a knife in the belly, especially when it comes to gale. the man he’s in love with has a woman to return to, and he might as well just be a legend that gale tells his kids about someday. but to john, gale is everything. he will never forget.
anyways this episode for them was VERY angsty and it’s late and i’m tired so this is kind of all over the place but i wanted to share my main thoughts. thank you for reading if you got this far i’ll probably continue my rant tomorrow depending on if this actually gets any traction LMAO i still don’t know how tumblr works.
#mota spoilers#mota#masters of the air#john bucky egan#gale buck cleven#angsty thoughts#john is not okay#they both need hugs#and therapy#the brainrot is consuming me#bucky x buck
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