#i think im gonna post this to the archive as its own story

[cult-of-the-eye]

Mag 81 A Guest for Mr Spider

FUCK FORMER HEAD ARCHIVIST

Wait I need to check the timelines - this was 2 days after leitner's death

New spooky music???

My man is so fucking dramatic I love him so much "grand of sand behind my eye" love the way he speaks

Yeah FUCK JURGEN LEITNER

Omg the greying hair is canon??

Child in the 90s makes him at most 27 GOD DAMN. I was imagining like mid 30s...can you imagine a fucking 27 yr old using words like "ilk" when talking to you

Oh shit he's an orphan poor guy

Yeah ok a lot of his personality seems to make sense if you realise he was raised by his grandma

You know those memes that are like people raised by their grandparents are exceptionally polite but in a brisk way, talk fancy and are super posh? Yeah that's him.

Getting such neurodivergent vibes

Yeah he sounds like a main character from the start Jesus Christ he's such a kid who got traumatised and then grows up to be a horror protagonist vibes

My First Leitner lol like kids had to be introduced to them at a young age like those my first toys

He's so funny I can just imagine him as an 8 yr old getting super like affronted at this like how dare my grandma think I am of subpar intelligence he's such a little bitch from the start

"The eponymous Mr spider" even talking about his childhood trauma he's busting out the vocabulary

Fuck that story actually kinda rattled me I had my hand over my mouth in shock for most of it

I think it was the bit where the horsefly brought his son and they were both crying that got me, I could definitely imagine it scaring an 8 yr old

The way it drags out as well, with the pages of the same scene it really heightens the suspense

Is his childhood bully someone we should keep track of?? Love how he says Michael probably cause he sees him as a bully lol

It's interesting how despite him bullying him (quite badly seeing as though he beat him up) he's still like yeah but he saved my life and that means he deserves to be remembered

My bro didn't save your life on purpose, he was just trying to make it worse and happened to come to a terrible fate cause of that

I guess underneath it all he was still a kid who watched someone die, knowing they'd get eaten by a fucking spider, he still held him in some regard

The way he specified the guy was his bully even after he was being eaten though lol

He was desperate to get the book back? That's a leitner thing I guess, the book makes you want to keep it so it can finish whatever it wanted to do to you

On my relisten (which I will do once I've finished the series I'm sure of it), I'll have to look out for any reaction of leitners name

I wonder why Jon didn't react more to Carlos vittery's statement, like it must've terrified him? I saw a post a while back explaining Jon's thoughts and IT WAS GENIUS it was like of course he doesn't react, he must be terrified that someone knew about his experience and somehow did this to mess with him or it was a joke and he can't let anyone know that the Head Archivist is not Good at This ugh it's so good I'll tag it if I can find it

AHHHHH HE REGRETS DISMISSING THE OTHER STATEMENTS AHHHHHH

HE FINALLY ADMITS THAT HE NEEDS HELP WE LOVE THIS CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT YES YOU FUCKING DO BITCH.

yeah at least he's right about Elias killing leitner

GEORGIE THE EX GIRLFIEND

ITS SO WEIRD TO SEE HIM ACTUALLY NICE TO SOMEONE WOW HIS VOICE CHANGES SLIGHTLY AS WELL HES LESS ACADEMIC

THE ADMIRAL

Awwww he's so cute with georgie

GHOST PODCAST GHOST PODCAST

THE WHAT THE GHOST T SHIRT IS CANON???? AHH THATS SO CUTE

Can he not go back to his own flat?? Did he bring all his clothes to the archive and then subsequently leave them there? Does he even have a flat??

God Georgie is so nice I would kill for her

It's so funny that an apparent supernatural cynic dated a ghost podcaster

WOW SEASON 3 OFF TO AN AMAZING START I CANT WAIT TO KEEP LISTENING IM GONNA TELL MY THERAPIST ABOUT THIS TOMORROW!!!

[bluerockcandy]

So like I was working on a jason centric two shot where hes dying right? I’m working on draft one and two at the same time bc one is hand written and the other is typed and bc i type it up i just add a little pizzazz or something. Literally its become so long in comparison to the written draft its not even funny.

Anyways, long story short (kinda but not really) i think i fucked myself over n ive taken a break from that. Was scrolling through ao3 and read this summary that was like an excerpt from my work but if it were bruce’s side and i had done some magical bring-it-all-together type shit by writing the same painful thought on both sides to provoke emotion by saying theyre literally thinking the same thing.

(I said long story short but ig i lied. I really just came here to shamelessly promote my one shot but look how long this is now)

So i read this summary and was fucking inspired sparkle sparkle. I whipped out a piece of paper i had doodled on, about the size of a large (medium?(a large or medium topping pizza(pfft sorry ))) notecard, and wrote this one shot of bruce’s internal monologue after ethiopia.

I then decided to post it on ao3 bc tbh its lowkey my first piece that ive finished and the first piece ive been really satisfied with. Soo random inspiration at work at like 4 am for the win.

Okay now im gonna link and hope someone reads it bc like otherwise im talking to myself and its kinda funny but also kinda sad but yeah. Lol.

No clue what to tag this

[zonatcannibalism]

Ok so about my fanfiction.

I have a 26 page long outline for a longfic (12 chapters) and I have about 5k-10k words written for it, but nothing in chronological order i can post. The outline was made about 9 months ago and i simply don't have the time to write it. (Its a mechanisms x tma crossover fic set after dttm and in season 3 of tma but it has weird time travel shit going on so its also a post season 5 fic)

So i think I should probably focus on oneshots, but tbh i don't really have that many ideas. in the last year or so im much more focused on my original fiction then fanfiction. Im currently writing a short story, and I know what the book im going to work on for nanowrimo is gonna be.

The list of fandoms i want to write for but have no idea what to write:

The decameron- there is one fic in all of ao3 about it. I have to take on the mission. I don't really have ideas just the vague sense it should be something about panfillo

Tma/ tmagp- i would probably write teaholding, doorkey, dyhard and platonic relationships between the archives gang, fluff and angst/ hurt comfort/ just unresolved angsty character explorations. I could also just adapt my longfic into oneshots. I don't really have ideas and tbh its not really a thing im very passionate about

The mechanisms: that's the fandom my longfic is for, i could just adapt the scenes i have of it into oneshots

Hatchetfield- i have. No ideas. But it will probably be fluff, and focus on the npmd gang or ms Holloway. Edit: i could probably have a lit of dun writing something angsty about lautski post npmd adapting their relationship to the trauma. I do have an EXTREMELY developed hatchetfield oc, but i use them for rping and writing about them could be weird to me.

Fantasy high- i feel like i could have so much fun with writing fics for this, but im only on season 1 (ep 12 i think) and o don't want to get stuff wrong about whats going to happen

The marauders- tbh probably the one im most inspired for but I don't really like the famdom or the characters that much, the fanfiction for it is just the best ove ever read

I allredy have a doctor who fic up but i wouldn't be against writing more (im just not that interested in doctor who fanfiction. Maybe i could write something about donna before she got her memories back? Character exploration style)

Also i do love good omens and could potentially write for ot but i don't really want to

My ao3:

[mantequillamcwhoremick]

Lmao I forgot that I wrote this. Back in the days when I still considered Stan my favorite character before Butters and Kenny rotted my brain hahhaha

It's a little character study about Stan and his relationship with his father, before I watched anything past season 15. Something about the dynamic between Stan and his dad in the "Bloody Mary" episode (and previous episodes like "Clubhouses") just had an intense grip on me that it possessed me to write this scene. It stands on its own although it used to be part of a longer fic, so I posted it.

Idk I still really like it :) Re-reading it made me appreciate Stan a lot again. Just thought to put it here, check it out if you wanna.

(The longer fic premise under the cut)

That fic was one where Stan drops out of College after a scandal, reconnects with Kenny and Cartman when he has to go back home to South Park and they steal Randy's car to go on a road trip. They do it under the guise of Stan wanting to make up with Wendy in New York, but of course the real goal is Stan making amends with his long lost Super Best Friend, with whom he hasn't talked in years.

It's a Style story, both romantic and platonic, and mostly about best friends growing apart painfully and not in the most organic way. It was also a kind of take on Stan's depression and cynical nature, and how his worldview is challenged when he reconnects with Kyle's forcibly optimistic & righteous ass. I had a bunch of scene ideas and snippets I wrote, but idk exactly how I would want it to end, so I never actively started working on it.

It also had a Butters/Marjorine Drag Queen side plot where Kenny had everyone do a side quest to rescue Butters from the catholic college that his parents sent him go, only to find out he'd long run away and is making a fat buck in the local Drag Club hscahah. Butters & Kenny's dynamic and characters just became way too interesting for me so I couldn't stand NOT to write a story where they were the main characters instead, hence why I'm working on Chaos Plan now. I'm probably still gonna use that idea for something else because I like it so much hehehhe

Sharing a little snippet I had written bc i don't think im ever gonna finish much less publish this thing lmao

[halfusek]

Irt you post about the archives- Have you read any of the novels? I feel like some of them, like Joey's autobiography, help give a bit more insight to these characters, at least a little.

As for Nathan, I think it's supposed to represent that, unlike Joey, he really was a self made man with good intentions, and that highlights that Wilson was trying to live up to the shadow of his father and instead of being the kind of man his father would have raised, Wilson chose to be as vile as he is.

Memory Joey on the other hand, really is just a representation of this flawed idea people had of the man, only the good parts of Joey that he chose to show. The idealized version of himself that he saw, rather than who he really is. It makes sense to have that contrast there, but he really is just a plot device rather than his own character and it's a shame.

I can't say much for the others, because they feel very lacking. They have a lot of good moments, like the "I'm beautiful." "Always were." scene for example, but outside these moments they feel somewhat empty.

It's unfortunate, because if they had the time, team, and resources, they could have had an incredible story to tell, but limitations with money and staff because of the irl studios layoffs and TheMeatly & Mike Mood making really, really bad choices with their business caused the game to fall short of what it could have been.

we must have read different books because it felt to me like batdr completely ignores book lore

honestly i just feel like the books have been made irrelevant and theyre just kind of telling us stories about these random characters? like adrienne is doing her best to describe these characters but im not gonna lie, as there was some potential to them batdr has been a huge turn off for me for reading anymore (plus that upcoming book is gonna have a yet another completely new character as the main protagonist and im just... bruh how about yall expand upon the characters you already have because this universe is just becoming very messy and full of shallow characters instead of having fewer but interesting ones?? im not against new characters being introduced but they just keep on adding then and then it feels like what we're reading doesn't even matter in the grand scheme of things, that sucks)

sure we get an insight to joey... the only character that actually HAS a lot of complexity and screentime in the games so like yea i like joey and i enjoyed his book but again it felt more like an extra rather than anything that helped expanding the story or the world, i dont really understand their strategy for these...

nathan's and wilson's relation is just uninteresting and shallows wilson's character in my opinion, like what he says to you in game makes out nathan to have been some sort of a horrible father and that'd be kinda interesting and would make wilson a morally grey character

but no he's just a spoiled brat or whatever his archetype is supposed to be and we can throw away the entire symbolism about nathan and bockswell lotsabucks (that cartoon cat from the comics) and the fact that there is supposed to be nathan arch junior and senior making it clear that they changed their minds about the plot just to surprise people (even worse, they ADMIT to doing that in the interview that recently came out... as if it was a good thing ToT) but by doing so they just contradicted clues that existed there before that we could have gotten away from the damn books! like this just makes me not wanna buy any other books anymore because its a clear message that it doesnt fucking matter if we read them, theyre just there to tell us stories about random characters that also wont even appear in the games anyways but we will get 200 more audiologs from other randos we wont care for

again i gotta be sorry for being so negative but im just SO disappointed with batdr and with what the archives had to say

like whatever they are telling their story, its not a sin to be bad and scummy at writing (scummy as in not understanding that youre baiting people into buying extra things for understanding the lore and then making sure you surprise people anyway)

so basically

there is no use for theorising because the message is that they just want to surprise us so if we guess where theyre going they will just change the story no matter how much its gonna suck and contradict what happened before

i cannot comprehend how meatly sees that as a good thing but i guess thats how he wants to tell his stories and whatever makes them happy man

but i find it incredibly shady when you advertise your game as a mystery to be solved and personally this kills my enjoyment of the franchise

[lehhoh7822]

asking about the legally blonde fics 🙄 (JOKING i actually really want to hear about them. please?)

THANK YOU its not letting me add a cut guys..... i would if i could..... long post??

alright hi i write legally blonde fanfics after being involved in a production of it earlier this year and. well.

like i think my fanfic is very ehhhh for most people because i like essentially getting to write completely different songs and then having to integrate them into canon if that makes sense?? based solely off the musical, like, none of pilar margot serena really have ANY established backstory and i havent seen the movie or read the book in such a long time. so what i mean is that i get to write this horrifying piece about someone experiencing parentifcation in an abusive environment and then try to integrate that character into the more canonised characterisation.

i guess the reason is like. of musicals, legally blonde is very.... i don't know, its pretty solid in terms of content for the musical. its absurd like most musicals which kind of facilitated me and my friend (im gonna @ their dead blog from when they were like 12 @kittykatturtles-blog) to make crack theories and then give me things that i wanted to extrapolate from it. I guess the other thing about these fics is that i want to write about how. fucked a lot of rich people are. i think part of this is coming out of the dsmp fandom or engaging with it more critically in terms of a fandom and being able to recognise the kind of repetitiveness of a lot of fanfictions in a very... trope esque way? like there are so many fics which are basically the same and a lot of those feel like they didn't have anything to say or think about in terms of the characters.

i think the other part of it which matters to me is being able to write about themes which are genuinely really serious, and at times intimately familiar to me; exploitative religious groups, familial abuse, dissociative identity disorder, and more, without the worry of too heavy scruntiny. like i remember when i was writing for dsmp i always got kind of scared of writing something too serious and having people like like. oh my god. hes a MINOR. YOURE KILLING ME. the whole point of the stories aren't just that bad things are happening or that these characters are justified or whatever, it's about. how do you keep going? how do you keep loving? how do you explain yourself.

i think something thats super important to be is character autonomy. it rings pretty bad for me when a traumatised or disabled is given no action on their end at all for anything, making them a hollow slate for the abled characters to support and research and worry about and lie to. to me, as someone who is traumatised and is disabled, that kind of dynamic is gross to read about. so its important to me to be able to write about, even if it cant exist in real life, the idea of supportive people who are also kind of fucked up and having to acknowledge the real hopelessness of complex issues is something i want to depict in my writing.

for a lot of people, for most i think, when terrible things happen they can't just stop and they somehow have to keep on going despite the world feeling like its stopped turning for them. and i think a lot of bad things do happen to people when they are still young. one of the worst years of my life was when i was 12 and its genuinely quite hard to top it. trying to write the spiky complex feelings of self hatred and confusion and injustice you can't place and hopelessness is cathartic to me and i think its important for me that it exists.

the other thing is that. like by the nature of my writing, this is leading to a better future. im a pretty slow writer, and i can't be hyperfixated on the story i need to just be continually trying to think and work on it. but because we know; we know they make it to college, we know they have friends, and in this i know that they can make it to adulthood, its an assertion, from me as a writer and from me as a traumatised disabled person that i will make a better future and the worst parts of your life will not definte them. idk.

this is the link to the first two fics and im writing a new one as we speak

if you want to hear more about ttolt characters (we have pilar, serena, margot, elle, serenas parents and brother, pilars infinite fucking siblings and parents, and a few others) then send me asks about it. PLEASE dear god

[bonnvivre]

A Funny Thing- Ch 23 word dump

new chapter to start off the new year LETS FREAKIN GOOOOOOO

i just washed my sheets too im settled in, my bed smells great, im having a great time

——————————

“And while Yuuji had humoured him at first, had been nothing but smiles as he posed for the pictures, the boy has clearly grown tired of the routine..” me during the filo family christmas party when they wanna take pictures … i can still see the ring light ….

ahh the first send off, brings tears to my eyes ;___;  gojo taking a bunch of pictures and sukuna constantly checking him over to make sure he has his stuff- fathers are father-ing and they didn’t wanna let him go just yet :[[

aw they slept together 

before i go on, the new friend is ACTUALLY megumi (i always thought it was megumi shshsh) cus toji literally couldnt afford another school and gojo’s gonna see him and either be like, “wait he looks familiar” or make THAT face right upon seeing him am i right lads or am i right lads (post chapter edit: i am right lads)

HAHAHAHA AN HOUR LONG RANT ON HIS NAILS PLS i see it yea canonically, sukuna usually makes himself look presentable . always pushing back his hair, dusting his clothes off, etc. he’s always gotta look good

whehehdhe he likes sukunaaaaaa !! someday that like will turn to love (post chapter edit: and that someday was today lads)

“How dare he have friends and hobbies and interests that don’t revolve around Satoru.” [gasp] HOW DARE YOU HAVE OTHER FRIENDS ARE YOU MAD ?! 

what kind of netflix drama did he get his story from this time 🙄

thats not the only time you’ll be freezing bc of geto hahahahahahaha

the run on sentences of yuuji’s speech plus casual megumi drop is killing me

i think its a good choice to have off screen moments be mentioned within the present, readers get the context while keeping the story moving . kinda like what gege does :0

ARE THEY WATCHING HUMAN EARTHWORM (post chapter edit: YES THEY WERE OHOHOHO)

FOR ITS HIS FIRST DESIRE TO KISS SATORU OH MY GODDDDDDD WGAGAFBWHVFKD i may have yelled a little

AGH . blocked yet again … i know its still too early but ugh it hurts oh the pain

THATS AN EXPENSIVE MANICURE WTF AND TOJI’S BACK YIPPEEEEEE

i love sukuna being satoru’s voice of reason, bringing sense and logic to satoru’s emotional thinking and it doesn’t clash at all; rather, it works for them very well

AWWWW YUUJI AND MEGUMIIIIIII SO CUTEEEE

“Those baggy, unwashed garments of his allow for superior mobility, while the stench deters opponents from engaging in close-combat.” LMAOOOOO sukuna’s sarcastic remarks about toji, especially his smell im crying 

post chapter thoughts:

 i wanted to see him and megumi in this story so bad ngl and im so happy they’re here !!! i blame the copious amounts of fushiguro family comics i’ve consumed- shout out to ddub1618 on twt

bruh my page reloaded i have to go back

i love long chapter gimme long chapter hmhmhmmhmh

i saw the interpretations of yuuji’s sickness and i thought it was cool but it’s also giving “the curtains represent his depression and lack of will to carry on vs the curtains were blue” lol

it would be a … shame if toji ran out of sugar and needed a bag …….. its a good thing satoru has a nice ol bag at home >:] 

OHHHH IT WOULD BE A SHAME IF THEY DECIDED TO GIVE HIM A NICE HOMECOOKED MEAL OUT OF THE GOODNESS OF THEIR HEARTS >:]]]

[mihai-florescu]

Do you agree with me that we should get rid of "death of the author" and that we should introduce "death of the audience" instead?

"Oooh but how will other people interpret this-" I don't know! I don't care! I wanna know what goes on inside the brain of the person who actually put their time and effort and soul into this. Not five million other people who Did Not Create the Thing.

(Sorry if this is weird but you feel like the most qualified person i know to have an opinion on this)

Disclaimer, im big on believing 2 things coexist at the same time about everything. My mood swings put me in black and white thinking often, but when i can think clearly from both perspectives im still a contrarian and have counter points for my counter points. Im gonna word vomit an answer, im not good at ordering my thoughts but i hope its fine still.

Oh brother i used to go on rants about this (authorial intent, media consumption, fandom culture etc) all of last semester and it's what ultimately led to me giving up on my degree and serious art altogether... i'll attach a few i found in my archive i think are relevant if youre curious beep meep meow. I was writing these posts at the same time as my thesis paper which was more hopeful and aiming to reframe what we consider escapism, but in the end by the finale (last assessment) the hatred won in my heart and i couldnt make a visual project with an audience in mind. I made something, but it was more like a rant with visuals and absolutely failed the "whats the future of this project?" question. Must it have a future for an audience? Its job was to be a confession and a respite, for my own expression. I dont want an audience, im too much of a misanthropic hater and possessive mother to let others see or interpret my ideas. I know it's selfish and counterproductive but i cant help it. You sending this ask made me laugh since it was so relevant to my struggles this year. Id love to break out of this cycle and mindset but i always go back here to these beliefs.

Anyway... i do think the sensible truth is somewhere in the middle. Reader's interpretation is essential for works to gain life in the world and to outlive their authors, and i revere stories for the ability to touch people's hearts and make them learn things about themselves as well as other's way of thinking (reading is a process of interpretation and contemplation afterall isnt it? Well, active reading at least. Citation to my written thesis). But im not a fan of fandom lens interpretations that so often flatten stories.

I think for our shared stories of interest authorial intent is particularly fun to think about. Commercial works made to sell gacha games but which do have heart and profound messages theyre trying to convey. But also made with an audience in mind. I havent been able to formulate any particularly riveting conclusions, but i would love to know if anyone has focused on such topics. Everything deserves analysis and attempts at understanding... and i find authorial intent an invaluable insight that can never be cast aside. Works gain lives of their own after theyre set free into the world, but they dont spawn fully formed from thin air ready for "consumption"...

Uuu im trying to decide if i should link to you a story about storytelling i wrote and illustrated in a day, and a video about humanity and the power of imagination as salvation and damnation... if i say "i'll share them, but only if you erase from your mind that i wrote them" it'd be hypocritical after everything i just spilled out. But too much knowledge about the author is scary too... not for the audience as much as the author himself. It's the audience who has the final laugh of judgement and interpretation... but it's scary to let others into your mind, to see things you spent time and energy on? I wish i could channel my death of the audience defiance into proudly sharing works without caring who sees them rather than deciding nothing is worth making anymore since im so mistrustful. Alas! Maybe one day i'll stop being a self absorbed, self sabotaging prey animal

[kittenninja14]

its been like forever since ive gone back to the TLOS fandom XD and I'm honestly surprised and glad that its still alive loll

anyways i was just going back and reading my old TLOS fanfics and dang... i really was on something back then to write that much XD

anywyas if any of yall know me pretty well... Im OBSESSED with the Charming Brothers loll.

Its seriously a crime how there are basically NO fics centered around these bros so I'm just gonna put in my one cent loll

Summary

All throughout Chandler’s life, fate had been his frenemy, so to speak. One moment fate would steal his brother away, like an enemy. And the next, fate would bring Snow White into his life, like a friend. So Chandler decided that his relationship with fate was one of a frenemy. Of course, fate decided to make life a little bit spiced up. To be honest, Chandler had thought that life would go back to normal, but no. Fate had once again decided to surprise him once again. Chandler honestly didn't know what to think about the nervous, strikingly familiar, frog-man. He, much to Chandler’s surprise, was very proper. He spoke and acted with such grace and elegance that Chandler couldn’t compare to, lest he be embarrassed. The odd thing about Froggy (that was the name the frog-man went by) was that he was familiar. Very familiar. OR Chandler's POV during The Wishing Spell

hehe... even tho i wrote this like a year ago... i honestly love this fic soo much lol!! It's honestly one of my fav masterpieces!!

Hope yall enjoy!! <33

https://kittenninja14.tumblr.com/post/731916269075480576/hey-yall-i-just-found-this-incredible-video-and

[hammity-hammer]

Happy Holi-gays!

Here’s my spicy six holiday writing! (two months late (((:)

Thank you so much to @thefreakandthehair for the prompt, please go make sure to read everything that everyone else has been posting!

(i also made art that's on ao3 with the story- but im a sleeby boy and that shit's difficult to add in so-- go check it out on there! & my dividers were made by someone...... i cannot recall their user and i feel like a bag of dicks but if any of y'all can figure it out pls tag them for me so i know<3)

(second also-- ty to lou, ej, & cat for beta-ing for me<33 i love you guys so much!)

to read on ao3:

if you wanna read it here then here ya go!

10 days before Christmas - 1987

Eddie slams his fist on the door to apartment 2B, rattling the door on its hinges. He’s got his bottom lip bit between his teeth while he pops his knuckles, waiting anxiously for someone to let him in. After what feels like five minutes (which realistically was about thirty seconds, but when you’re nervous time seems to move exceedingly slowly, give the man a break), a very festive looking Argyle opens the door. Bells ring as he lazily waves a hello to Eddie, nods his head and takes a step back to let him inside.

“To what do I owe the pleasure, my herbaceous buddy?” He asks with a dopey grin on his face. Argyle closes the door while Eddie looks around, taking in the colorful lights and heavily decorated tree by the television.

“Well, okay, so here’s the deal. It’s our first Christmas, like, together, you know? Like, with everybody being in their little couples and no weird upside down related shit, and we’re real adults now, right? And we’re gonna have our little Christmas party together, but I was just thinking, everyone has like little traditions that they do for holidays, right?” Eddie rambles, his hands moving wildly around him while he meanders around his point. Argyle nods at him, hanging off of every word to encourage him to go on.

“What if, we all— you, me, Stevie, Jonny, Nance, and Robbie come up with our own traditions? Like, maybe we all bring one tradition that our family does or something, and we make it like a thing?” He starts again, a hopeful look on his face while he explains, “‘Cause me and Wayne have always gone and visited some of my family and like we spend a day making tamales and flautas together, and I was just thinking that I would really, really enjoy seeing everybody try and cook that shit. I like, barely have gotten the hang of it, and I’ve been helping with them and not hanging at the kiddie table for like, four years or something now.”

Argyle thinks for a second, nodding his head softly, while Eddie wrings his hands together and grins at him. Thinking about the few cousins he has on Wayne’s side always makes him happy, but when he thinks about spending holidays with them, his happiness expands tenfold. They don’t see each other often, but every time they reconnect, it’s like there was never any time in between their meetings.

“Okay brochacho, I totally am picking up what you’re putting down, and I think we totally could convince our funky little friends to do that! Just thinking about Big Byers covered in maza has me fucking excited,” Argyle laughs. He grins so wide his eyes basically close at the thought, but suddenly they shoot open, “Wait bro, where are we gonna do all this at? Jonny boy and I definitely don’t have a big enough kitchen, and I don’t think you and Nance would be able to hold all six of us, would you?”

“Don’t you worry your pretty little head, dearest Argyle, for we’ve got the Harrington Manor at our disposal for the foreseeable future,” Eddie grins wickedly, throwing his arms out in front of him as if he’s displaying something in the air. “Speaking of Harrington, I do need to go see my lovely boy, so I’ll smell ya later, dude. Is it cool if I call you later to confirm the time and everything once Jonny’s home?” He asks as he spins around to leave, opening the door and taking one step outside, so he can still hear Argyle’s response.

“Sure dude, we’re spending a night in for once, so we’ll be here,” He affirms, as if he and Jonathan ever leave their apartment for anything besides work and picking up their “supply” from Eddie.

Eddie basically skips to his van, throwing the door open and hopping in. He puts in his favorite tape that Steve made him, that has a perfect cursive “You suck, Eds” written on the front. He remembers when Steve gave it to him, acting all shy and trying to use his Harrington Charm to make Eddie swoon.

He’d batted his pretty round eyes at Eddie, hiding his arms behind his back while he asked questions about metal that he already knew the answer to. Eddie’d rolled his eyes and thrown a crooked smile his way, saying, “Now, now pretty boy, I’m pretty sure we’ve already gone over this. Do you just like hearing me explain things to you a million times?” He brought his hand up to push hair out of Steve’s face, basking in the deep blush that slowly spread from his cheeks to his neck.

“I- I um… I was just wondering because… Um- I made you this? And you know, I just wanted to make sure I had, like, remembered things correctly and everything,” Steve started rambling, his hands bringing the perfectly wrapped tape in front of him, a shy smile on his face. Eddie stared shell shocked at the gift in front of him, his hand still softly brushed up against Steve’s temple. Steve nudged the tape into Eddie’s chest, blinking his eyes very obviously at him.

Eddie took the present that was given to him, and held it carefully. With the utmost caution, he peeled the black wrapping paper back, his eyes growing even bigger when he realized it was actually a mixtape that Steve made. No one had ever made Eddie a mixtape before, and especially not a mixtape covered in goofy looking hearts and two stick figures holding hands on the bottom.

He glanced up at Steve, who was biting his bottom lip anxiously, as he did a little jazz hand, “Tada! I’ve been working on this for like… A few months, honestly. I just wanted it to be perfect for you? Because you’re perfect to me?” An awkward grin graced his face while he scratched his neck with the non-jazz hand.

“Steve Harrington… I know you didn’t actually make the little ole town freak a mixtape now, did you?” Eddie whispered, a teasing grin beginning to form on his lips.

Steve’s blush deepened even further while he looked to the floor, shrugging his shoulders.“I just wanted you to have a little piece of me with you everywhere you go? You know, like, you get to hear these songs and then think of…Steve,” He mumbled and rocked back and forth on his heels. Steve blew air out of his mouth and gave Eddie a goofy grin.

“Stevie, you… You are so unbelievable,” Eddie breathed and put the tape in his front pocket. He cupped Steve’s face with his hands and gently pressed their lips together. Steve immediately kissed him back, moving his hands to Eddie’s hips and stepping closer to him. They stayed like that, kissing in Steve’s bedroom and losing track of time. Eventually, Eddie pulled back.

“No one’s ever done anything this nice for me before,” He breathed, his face barely inches from Steve’s. “You are the most beautiful man I’ve ever met, inside and out, and I really, really don’t understand why you’d spend any time doing something so sweet for me.”

“Can’t you tell why I’d do this? I feel like I’ve been so obvious!” Steve laughed, moving one hand from Eddie’s hip to cup his cheek, “I like you so much, Eds. I know that it says you suck, but that’s actually a lie. You make me so, so happy, and you’re practically all I talk about. I’m pretty sure Robin was going to murder me if I didn’t figure out some way to tell you that I have feelings for you.” He grinned and poked Eddie’s cheek, “Plus, I was getting real sick and tired of not being able to do this.” Steve kissed him softly and pulled away before Eddie could kiss back.

“Now, if I said I wanted to be your boyfriend… would that be okay?” He asked shyly, moving his hands to hold Eddie’s. Steve chewed his lip while Eddie processed, spinning the rings on Eddie’s fingers.

“I would be over the moon if I got to call you mine, pretty boy.” Eddie nodded, his reserved smile turning into a giant grin.

Eddie uses his key to unlock the front door to the “Harrington Manor”, kicking his shoes off when he gets in and putting his keys in the bowl. He wanders to his boyfriend’s room, humming a little ‘Mr. Crowley’ while he swings open the door, finding a napping Steve on the bed. He’s got his glasses falling off his nose, and Eddie’s very loved copy of The Two Towers resting open on his chest.

“Stevie, baby… Good morning,” he whispers, lightly brushing hair from Steve’s forehead. Steve huffs and shakes his head, rolling over as he presses his face into his pillow.

“C’mon, I’ve gotta talk to you about some holiday plans,” Eddie laughs, plucking the book from his boyfriend and trying to roll him back over. “You aren’t even supposed to be sleeping right now, you’re gonna mess up your sleep schedule!”

“Eds… I gotta sleeeeep, get in the bed with me, please?” Steve mumbles into the pillow, not letting Eddie roll him. He reaches out his hands and grabs at Eddie, trying to pull him on top. “So sleepy… Waited so long.”

“Baby, it’s been barely an hour, I literally haven't been gone long enough for you to be asleep.” Eddie complains as he crawls over Steve, cradling his head, so he doesn’t accidentally hurt him.

“Tell me about it,” Steve huffs, opening one eye to look at Eddie as he cracks a sleepy smile. Eddie grins back, “Stevie, can we talk now? I have a question that’s kind of important.”

Steve yawns, “Go for it.” He rests a hand gently on Eddie’s head and starts playing with his hair.

“So… You know how we don’t really have any plans for Christmas? Because Rob and Nance are doing their Hanukkah thing, and the Hopper-Byers clan has decided to vacation to Cali, excluding Jonny, so we were just going to… do nothing?” Eddie continues, “I talked to Argyle, and we want to try and do like a holiday cooking party type thing. Here. Just the six of us, no kids, and we can make our own holiday traditions.”

Steve’s eyes shoot open, “You mean like… like a family? You wanna do family things with me, Eds? And, when would we do them? Christmas is in like… a week, and I think Robs told me that Hanukkah starts soon, right?” He moves his hand down to hold Eddie’s cheek.

“Stevie, of course I wanna do family things with you, I love you. I love you so, so much. You are my family, you and Wayne, but I want to celebrate with you. I want to celebrate every single holiday we can together. And we can have the party this Saturday? I’m pretty sure everyone’s got it off, and I have Friday off, too, so I can go and get supplies. Does that sound okay?” Eddie leans into Steve’s hand, giving it a soft kiss and smiling.

“That sounds perfect, love. I’ll go call Robs and check if that works for them. Do you wanna come with me, or do you wanna stay here and rest a little?” Steve asks, pulling Eddie close to plant a soft kiss to his lips. Eddie smiles and kisses him back.

“I’ll go wherever you go, pretty boy.”

---

“Buckley residence, this is Nancy speaking,” Nancy answers the phone, sticking her tongue out at Robin who wasn’t able to get there quick enough.

“Oh, Steve! To what do we owe the pleasure of your call?” She leans away from Robin, who grabs for her and the phone, “Nance! That’s my best friend, I wanna talk to him!”

“Oh wow, you guys are inviting us to your house for a… holiday cooking party…? Do you mean like Christmas, because you know Robbie doesn’t celebrate that, and if you’re inviting us to a Christmas party I will be offended on her behalf, considering you’re supposed to be her best friend.” Nancy scolds, squealing when Robin grabs her by the waist. Robin plants a kiss on the side of her head, giggling when Nancy blushes.

“Okay… So you want us to come over Saturday? We’ll just have to be home in time to light the menorah and everything, so you can’t keep us too late,” Nancy questions, looking over to Robin.

She puts her hand over the receiver, “Does Saturday at 3pm sound okay to make food with the boys?” Robin nods, resting her chin on Nancy’s shoulder. Uncovering the receiver, Nancy lets Steve know that they’ll be there before hanging up.

“Not even letting me speak to my best friend in the whole world? The love of my life? Nancy, what are you doing! Are you jealous of little ole Stevie?” Robin jokes, placing dramatic, slobbery kisses to her girlfriend’s shoulder. Nancy giggles and rolls her eyes, “Darling. You see him every single day at work, and I just wanted to get him off the phone so I could spend some time with my favorite woman on the whole planet.”

Nancy turns around, wrapping her arms around Robin’s neck as she plants a soft kiss to her cheek. Robin snorts and her face starts to turn a bright red as she wraps her arms tighter around Nancy’s waist.

“I’m your favorite woman on the whole planet, Nance?” Robin whispers, a cheeky smile on her face. Nancy nods, kissing her other cheek, “Robin Buckley, you may be my most favorite person on the whole planet, not just my favorite woman.” Robin kisses her softly, knowing that Nancy’s telling the truth, if the letter she’d received 6 months ago was anything to go by.

“Robbie,

I don’t think I have ever met someone who makes me feel the way that you do. I thought that maybe I was making things up, or that I was misreading our interactions, but I know that the way I feel about you isn’t anything that could be misread or made up. I think about you more than is probably sane, considering that we barely get to see each other as of late. I love listening to you ramble when you’re nervous, or when you’re really excited about something, or someone brings up a topic that you love. I love when you make snarky comments under your breath that you think no one can hear. I love when you protect your friends without thought, not caring what happens to you as long as they’re safe. I love when you smile, when you laugh, when you accidentally make noises because you’re so excited you have no other way to express it. I love that you love things so passionately, not caring what people have to say. I love you, Robin. I think that this may be the easiest thing I’ve ever done, although I guess I am copping out a bit, sending a letter and all. I hope that you get this soon, and I hope that I’m not wrong about your feelings.

Estaré aquí cuando me quieras, por siempre si es lo que quieres.

Para siempre,

Nancy Wheeler”

As soon as Robin finished reading the letter, she called Steve. She waited for about three rings until he picked up, “Harrington residence, this is Steve speaking.”

“Steve! Get over here, like asap! I really, really need to get to Nancy’s, like now, please,” Robin urged. She kept the phone between her shoulder and ear as she slipped her converse on.

“Nancy’s? Why do you need to go there now? It’s like… 2pm, what are you going to do at 2pm on a weekday?” Steve asked. Robin could hear him picking up his keys, though, which had her grinning.

“I think your ex-girlfriend is also in love with me? She sent me a letter? I really, really hope this isn’t some kind of sick joke, Steve. No one would do that, right? I-I mean… No one even knows, about me, I mean, so they wouldn’t know to confess to me as Nancy… Right?” Robin started rambling, almost dropping the phone while she tied her shoes.

“Robs. Calm down, dude. I don’t think anyone knows, and it’s definitely very like Nance to send you a letter like we don’t have cars and phones,” Steve laughed, “I’m leaving now, love you, see you soon.”

“I love you too, hurry your ass up before I spiral even further, please!” Robin rushed out, putting the phone back into the cradle.

It took him 20 minutes, but Steve finally pulled up to Robin’s house. He honked his horn obnoxiously, and Robin ran outside so fast she almost fell down the steps to her house.

“Dear lord, could you have taken any longer? How am I supposed to go profess my love to your ex if you take 20 minutes to get here?” She started speaking as soon as she opened the car door, throwing her bag in by her feet before throwing herself in.

“I’m sorry that I have to obey traffic laws? Would you rather I died on the way to get you to the love of your life?” He asked rhetorically, easing his foot off of the brake and heading for Nancy’s house.

“I dunno, dude, I think maybe that would not be so great, but I can’t think about anything right now besides the fact that your ex-girlfriend, one of the most literally smartest people in all of Hawkins,” Robin started, pulling down the passenger side visor and checking her hair. “Confessed her love for your current best friend and platonic soulmate, one of the most awkward and anxious people in all of Hawkins.” She continued, rubbing under her eyes and slapping her cheeks.

“You may be awkward and anxious, but you’re still a catch! Do you know how many languages you know? And, you have like the cutest freckles, and you get her weird nerd jokes! You guys are like, perfect for eachother!” Steve exclaimed, taking his eyes off the road to look incredulously at his best friend.

“I guess… you might be right. And, she wrote in Spanish! Do you know how many people have learned phrases in other languages for me? None, Steve, the answer is none. She went out and learned how to say something, just because she knows that I know the language.” Robin rambled, her hands moving wildly as Steve pulled in front of Nancy’s house.

“She totally is in love with you, please, please go get your girl, and keep me posted!” He yelled the last part as Robin got out of the car, waving her hand at him and flipping him off.

Nancy walked to her front door when she heard the bell ring, opening it to a red faced Robin.

“I love you, Nancy,” Robin started, glancing at Nancy’s face and then immediately looking at the ground. “I am so, so in love with you. I don’t think I’ve ever had someone tell me they love me, especially not the way you did, and I especially didn’t expect you to pull out Spanish on me. No one’s ever learned Spanish for me, Nance. I- I don’t think anyone’s ever really even written me a—” Nancy cut her off, kissing her quickly and softly, barely giving Robin time to react.

“You are so incredibly cute when you’re nervous,” She said, her voice barely above a whisper. Robin’s face turned an even darker shade of red and her eyes widened comically.

“I-I’m sorry, I just really, really didn’t know that you felt the same way I did, and I just got the letter and I wanted to see you as soon as I could, so Steve drove me over here and now I’m here and you’re here and I just love you.” Robin laughed nervously.

“Can we- can we do that again? Please?” She whispered, ghosting her fingers along her bottom lip when she realized that Nancy had in fact kissed her. Nancy reached her hand out to Robin’s face, touching her cheek softly.

“You mean kiss?” She asked, taking a small step closer to Robin. Robin nodded, so Nancy leaned in to press their lips together again. Robin let out a small breath, kissing Nancy eagerly.

They stayed like that for what simultaneously felt like five minutes and five hours, before breaking apart to smile at each other.

“It’s just you and me now, okay?” Nancy asked as she broke the kiss, cradling Robin’s head in her hands.

Robin nodded and took one of Nancy’s hands off of her face to hold it, giving it a soft kiss.

“Cara mia, could you please come here?” Robin yells across the house to Nancy. She ties the last bow on the small gift box on the table as she waits. Nancy makes her way to the living room with a little gift bag in her hand.

“Did you finish your wrapping, lovely?” Nancy asks and sets her gift bag next to Robin’s box. She wraps an arm around Robin’s waist and plants a soft kiss on her cheek.

“I did indeed! Do you like the little bow?” She responds, twisting to kiss Nancy as she grabs the present box to hold up.

“Oh! That’s so cute! You just did that?” Nancy exclaims, gently taking the present to examine it. “This has to be the cutest thing I’ve ever gotten and I haven’t even opened it yet.”

“It’s no big deal, really! Just some ribbon and scissors and time and I got it all done!” Robin laughs awkwardly, a light blush on her cheeks. “Do you wanna open it and see if you like the gift…?” She suggests, biting her lip lightly when Nancy nods.

Nancy gently undoes the bow on top and takes her time removing the paper to reveal a small, black, hand-bound leather journal. Her mouth opens in a little ‘o’ as she opens it to find that the first page has already been written in.

“For Nancy, my beautifully brained pearl in a sea of fish-scale imitations. I adore you and you are going so, so many places.

Xx Robbie”

Nancy puffs her bottom lip out and looks up at Robin, “I’m the beautiful brain? Robs, this is so thoughtful. I love this and I’m going to write only the most special things in it. I love you.”

“I love you too! I tried really hard and had to make Steve take me to like four different bookstores to try and find the perfect journal, because they all had like boring journals with flowers and like, girly things, and you’re girly but you’re not girly, and you deserve something that’s professional but sleek, but also sturdy, which is why I went with a hand-bound one instead of just a regular old machine-bound one, and Steve thought it was sweet and so did Eddie, but nothing that they think matters because they’re not you, even though Steve did—” Robin gets interrupted in her rambling by a swift kiss from her girlfriend, pointedly shutting her up.

“It’s perfect. You’re perfect. Open your gift now, please,” She whispers, pulling the bag from the table and lightly shoving it in Robin’s hands.

Robin nods quickly and takes the tissue out of the bag, squealing when she pulls out a rubix cube. “Nancy! Are you for real right now?” She asks as she drops the bag and starts trying to solve the cube.

“One hundred percent, lovely. I know it’s not a lot but I figured it would make you happy and keep you entertained,” Nancy smiles as she watches Robin hop from one foot to the other while she fidgets.

“I absolutely love it, please, please can we light the menorah so we can cuddle on the couch and I can play with this?” Robin whisper yells and looks up at Nancy.

Nancy nods and takes the lighter from the table, “Do you wanna do this or do you want me to so you don’t have to put the cube down?”

“You, please. Thank you,” She responds, smiling softly while Nancy lights the Shamash. After Nancy lights the Shamash, Robin recites the blessings and gives Nancy the go ahead to light the first candle. She lights it and places it on the very far right side of the menorah, smiling proudly at Robin. Nancy places the Shabash back in the middle of the menorah and lets Robin begin singing ‘Maoz Tzur’, closing her eyes to take time to just listen.

When Robin finishes, Nancy holds her hand softly, “Thank you for letting me be a part of this with you, Robbie. I really appreciate it. This was very special and I’m sorry your parents couldn’t be here tonight to help.”

Robin smiles softly at her and plants a kiss to her cheek, “It’s okay, it really is. Their jobs wouldn’t let them off early enough and we’ve got a big next few days, so I’m glad I got to spend tonight with you.” She takes the hand holding Nancy’s and leads her into the living room, dropping her off at the couch.

“So, querida, do you wanna watch Rocky Horror or The Apartment?”

---

Jonathan hums as he licks the rolling paper and seals it closed, twisting the end and grinning to himself.

“Argyle, babe, are you ready to smoke the prettiest doobie ever made?” He asks and turns to his side, holding the joint up proudly. Argyle laughs and kisses his cheek, “I was born ready, Jonny baby. This bad boy’s about to be so good!”

Argyle lights the joint, inhaling smoothly and holding in for a second before lightly grabbing Jonathan’s chin to give him a light kiss and exhale smoke into his mouth. Jonathan inhales the smoke and breaks the kiss to exhale, chuckling at his boyfriend’s antics.

They continue smoking, keeping up the puff-puff-pass routine and occasionally sharing kisses and smoke, smiling at eachother. When they’ve finally cashed it, Argyle puts it out in their Garfield ashtray, a gift they’d received from Eddie and Uncle Wayne.

“What say you to a holiday dinner with the mystery gang? Eds and I talked about it earlier because he just, like, showed up here, and we thought it might be cool to have everyone together,” He asks, taking Jonathan’s hand to place light kisses on his knuckles.

“Oh yeah, when are we gonna do that? Also, where? I don’t think our apartment is big enough for all of us…” Jonathan looks around with glassy eyes, his lips slightly parted. He squints and turns his head back to Argyle, shrugging lightly when Argyle grins.

Argyle laughs, “We’re gonna do it on uh… Saturday? I think? And Eds volunteered Stevie’s house! But… I think he’s supposed to call soon… I can’t really remember…” He shrugs, leaning his head onto his boyfriend’s shoulder and yawning. Jonathan wraps an arm around him, pulling him in close and closes his eyes.

Suddenly, the phone rings, pulling them out of their little bubble. Argyle hops up, almost hitting their heads together before running to the phone attached to the wall. He picks it up excitedly, cheesing at his boyfriend on the couch,“Thank you for calling the Byers-Alvarez residence, to what do I owe the pleasure of your call, my righteous friend?”

Argyle nods, seemingly very into what the other person was saying. Having piqued Jonathan’s interest, he gets off the couch to see who’s called them. He walks up behind Argyle, snaking his arms around his waist before gently placing kisses onto his shoulder. Jonathan does his best to eavesdrop, and Eddie makes it especially easy as he talks loudly and excitedly on the other end.

“Stevie said we can use the Harrington Manor, so you guys can get here at like, 2:30 so we have time to get things finished before the ladies have to go back to Rob’s?”

“You got it, bud! Jonny and I will be there, should we bring anything?” Argyle responds, and finishes their conversation before hanging up the phone. He turns in Jonathan’s embrace and wraps his arms around his neck, planting a big, slobbery kiss on his lips. Jonathan returns the kiss, smiling widely at his dorky partner.

Argyle hums softly, moving one hand to hold Jonathan’s cheek, caressing it softly. He breaks the kiss after a moment, touching their foreheads together.

“I love you, sweet thing.” He whispers, rubbing his thumb up and down Jonathan’s cheek.

“I love you more, Arg.” His boyfriend responds, lightly rubbing their noses together and letting out a little laugh. He gives him one more peck before reaching up to take the hand that’s on his face into his own, swaying to an imaginary beat. Argyle joins him, lacing their fingers together. He hums softly, resting his cheek against Jonathan’s as they continue their dance together.

Argyle rang the doorbell to Jonathan’s house, taking a step back so he wasn’t right in front of the door when it opened. He looked down at the pizza box in his hands, grinning as he thought about its contents.

Jonathan opened the door, with bloodshot eyes and a goofy smile on his face. He pushed the door open a bit wider and gestured for Argyle to come in.

“Hey man, I wasn’t expecting you! Come on in, it’s just me tonight cause Will and El went out with my mom earlier,” He supplied as Argyle followed him inside and stepped out of his shoes.

“Oh, righteous! I was at work and they let me leave early, so I thought I’d come see my favorite Jonny Boy and bring him some ‘zza,” Argyle held out the box to his friend after Jonathan closed the door. He took the pizza box and walked it into the kitchen to place it on the table.

“Thanks, Arg, what kind is it?” Jonathan walked to a cabinet and pulled out two plates, setting them on the table where they’d be sitting. Argyle thanked him and opened the box with a shy smile on his face.

“It’s uh… Veggie and pineapple, just like you like it!” He turned the now opened box to Jonathan, watching him for his reaction. Argyle had placed the spinach on his pizza to look like a little marijuana leaf in the corner, and tomatoes in the center in the shape of a heart. Next to the heart was a pineapple question mark, and a little note was tucked underneath. Jonathan’s mouth opened in surprise, and he removed the note from underneath.

“Jonny,

You’re my best friend in the whole world, my sweet cheese, my ride or die. I love you with my whole heart, and I put it on a pizza just for you! (Don’t panic, no hearts were harmed in the making of this pizza) I don’t think I’d rather spend my time with anyone but you. Please look up at me now!”

Jonathan chuckled lightly and held onto the note, his eyes moving up to look at Argyle who had a soft blush on his cheeks.

“Do you wanna maybe… be mine, Jonny?” He asked softly, chewing on his bottom lip while he waited on a response.

“Like… Your boyfriend?”Jonathan clarified. Argyle nodded, his eyes wider than they had been before.

Jonathan stepped closer to him, reaching the hand without the note up to cup Argyle’s cheek. He nodded quickly before moving in to press their lips together. Argyle immediately kissed him back, wrapping his arms around Jonathan’s waist.

Breaking away, Jonathan smiled at his now-boyfriend, “Do you wanna eat this masterpiece and roll up with me, boyfriend?”

Argyle laughed and squeezed Jonathan where he held him, “That sounds rad, boyfriend.”

Jonathan presses a tender kiss to his boyfriend’s lips, taking one step back so he can extend one of the arms connected to Argyle and spin him in a circle. Argyle laughs while he spins, his long hair gliding in the air like an aerialist’s silks.

“Aren’t you glad you stayed here now?” He asks, landing gently back in Jonathan’s arms. Jonathan smiles sweetly up at him, “I’m always glad I get to see you, babe. I wouldn’t miss this for the world.”

As they continue their dance, Argyle hums a soft string of notes, not seeming to match any songs that Jonathan’s familiar with. He moves their noncommittal steps into a consistent 4/4 beat, starting a shuffle as he begins to sing in a soft voice,

“Amor, adiós

No se puede continuar

Ya la magia terminó

Ahora tengo que marchar

Será mejor

Seguir nuestra soledad

Si hoy el cielo se cubrió

Quizás mañana brille el sol,”

Jonathan closes his eyes and loses himself in Argyle’s voice, letting himself be dragged wherever his partner sees fit. When Argyle begins the chorus with a dip and a dramatic,

“No sufras (más)

(Quizás mañana nuestro llanto quede atrás)

Y si me dices que tu amor me esperará

Tendré la luz que mi sendero alumbrará

Y volveré

Como un ave que retorna a su nidal

Verás que pronto volveré y me quedaré

Con esa paz que siempre, siempre tú me das

Que tú me das,”

Jonathan chuckles and kisses his boyfriend, making sure not to get him in the middle of the lyrics. Argyle smiles brightly at him, pecking his lips back. He finishes their dance, not by completing his song, but by spinning Jonathan one last time and planting an overly dramatic kiss on his hand.

“I bet you didn’t know I had that up my sleeve, Sweet Thing,” He laughs while Jonathan gives him an exasperated smile.

“I figured you could sing but… I can say I’ve never had anyone make me dance with them while serenading me.”

“Well, since you had to stay back here for me, I figured I’d let you know that even if you think we might be better apart, I’ll always come back for you,” Argyle says earnestly, making sure to keep a firm grip on Jonathan’s hands while he maintained eye contact.

“I didn’t have to stay back for you, I chose to and you know it! You totally could’ve had a fun holiday here with everyone, it’s not your fault your family decided that they suck and would rather abandon their only son than accept him,” Jonathan replies sternly, frowning and tugging his boyfriend closer.

---

It’s a quarter past three when Argyle and Jonathan knock on Harrington's door, eyes as red-rimmed and glossy as ever. They hold each other's hands while they wait, barely registering that the door had even opened before Eddie pokes his head out.

“What’s the password?” He croaks out in an overly dramatic voice.

Argyle jumps back a bit, and Jonathan’s eyebrows raise slightly in surprise, “Is it… Mary?” he asks tentatively.

Eddie holds a hand over his mouth, trying to suppress his laughter while he opens the door for them. “You’re fucking blitzed, dude. Is that what took you guys so long?” They both nod and giggle, sharing a look with each other before entering the household.

Argyle and Jonathan make their way through the hall before realizing that one of the doorways has mistletoe hanging from the top. Jonathan turns to his partner with a grin, “Aww shucks, Arg. Looks like someone owes me a kiss.” He winks and pulls him slightly closer by the hand.

Raising an eyebrow, Argyle takes another step toward him, “Oh, do I now?”

Jonathan bites his lip and nods slowly, completely enamored by the man in front of him. Argyle rests his free hand softly on Jonathan’s cheek, just above his jaw, and closes the space between them with a gentle kiss. Jon smiles against his lips, sighing contentedly through his nose.

After a few moments pressed together, they separate and Argyle drags Jonathan to the kitchen.

The other three are busy at their own stations, Steve sitting on a stool at the island with a big bowl of some tan mush that makes Jonathan feel a bit queasy. Robin and Nancy are working on grating potatoes and onions by the sink, getting them ready to go into latkes.

“Woah Eddie, we’ve got the white boy working on tamales? You didn’t wait to put Jonny to work?” Argyle asks with a laugh while Jonathan looks between them confused.

“Tamales? That’s what he’s doing? Why’s he got a spoon?” He stares at Steve’s hands, covered in masa with some weird looking yellow thing that he’s spreading masa on.

Eddie laughs and nods, walking behind Steve to watch his technique. “He’s making tamales, yes, I just taught him while we were waiting for you two slow-pokes. Get over here and we’ll get you making them great in no time.”

Argyle shrugs when Jonathan looks at him, “Go on, baby, Eddie won’t hurt you.” Jonathan sits by Steve and takes a spoon, watching Eddie with wide eyes while he explains tamal basics.

Watching as the women grate their vegetables, Argyle decides to walk over and help. Robin hands over some potatoes and a cheese grater with a grin on her face, “Welcome to holidays at the Harrington’s! Glad you two finally showed up, my hands are tired from doing this shit.”

With a roll of her eyes Nancy hip checks Robin and laughs, “You’ve barely been doing any of the work, babe. Just standing there staring at me the whole time.”

Robin scoffs, a bright red flush beginning to rise from her neck, “That is- that’s so not true! I promise, I totally have been… working on the latkes!”

“Ladies, ladies, it’s okay. I am here in all of my gorgeous glory to learn and to teach, I don’t care who’s doing what so long as my hands keep moving on this sacred food,” Argyle soothes, starting to grate his potatoes onto a plate in front of him.

“Eddie, I genuinely don’t think this is supposed to look like this…” Steve murmurs while staring wide eyed at the corn husk covered fully in goopy maza. Eddie walks back over to him and has to turn his head to laugh into his elbow at the sight in front of him.

“Babe- how did you manage to get maza so far up your own arm? It just- goes on the husk?” He half-scolds, amazed at his ridiculous boyfriend.

Steve shrugs and doesn’t move his arms for fear of making even more of a mess. Jonathan giggles from his seat, quiet and high pitched when he realizes just what exactly his faux-competitor has done.

“Man… I don’t know if there’s any saving that one,” He snorts as he lays his newly finished husk in the pile. Steve sighs dejectedly and groans, a dramatic pout on his face when he sees Jonathan finish.

Eddie takes a spoon and starts to clean off the husk so it’s salvageable, trying not to laugh more at his poor boyfriend. He gently kisses his cheek and moves the husk to the pile before finishing his cleaning with Steve’s arm.

“Thank you, Eds,” Steve whispers, his cheeks a bright red. He gets up from his seat and runs to the bathroom to clean his arms off and try to stave off his embarrassment, worried it may turn bad quickly.

Eddie just watches as he leaves, chuckling to himself before sitting in his chair and watching Jonathan continue with his tamales.

“You caught on really quick, Jon, I’m surprised. Argyle over there was saying he was all excited to laugh at you,” He mentions, keeping a close eye on how thick Jonathan keeps the spread while he works.

“Argyle doesn’t know anything- I help my mom cook all the time and this is just like a weird swiss roll!” Jonathan huffs out before placing more husks into the bowl. This earns another laugh from Eddie who decides to get up and take the bowl of husks so he can start filling them with meat.

“Hey man, I know some things,” Argyle shouts indignantly from across the room- taken out of his zone with the latkes.

Jonathan rolls his eyes with a smile, continuing on his work while Argyle keeps his snarky jokes audible to Robin and Nancy only.

---

Steve finally comes back to see that everyone’s already started actually cooking- the latkes being fried on the stove while Eddie places the wrapped up tamales in a giant pot to boil on a different burner.

“I really missed the tamales getting finished?” He pouts and stands behind Eddie, resting his chin on his shoulder.

“Yeah baby, that’s what happens when you run away for a while,” Eddie chides and puts the lid on the pot, turning around to press a soft kiss to his boyfriend’s forehead.

Robin pretends to gag, “Could you guys go be gay somewhere else, please?” Nancy giggles from next to Robin, knowing that they were absolutely standing almost exactly like that right before Steve came back.

“Hey Robs, can you do something for me?” Steve blinks his big eyes at her.

“Yeah, what’s up?” She sets the spatula she was using down and turns to him with furrowed brows.

“Fuck off!”

Eddie chokes on a laugh, completely caught off guard by his boyfriend’s hostility, “Babe- babe please, oh my god!”

Robin rolls her eyes and flips him off, grabbing her spatula again to keep cooking, “Literally suck my whole dick, Harrington.” Her girlfriend snorts at that and bites her lip to keep from laughing too hard.

“Wuh-oh! Lovers’ quarrel?” Argyle asks before he realizes that they were just kidding around with each other. Jonathan brings his hand to his lips and presses a kiss there, “You know they’re just being them, babe. It’s fine.” He soothes and Argyle laughs and nods.

---

By some holiday miracle, the food comes out unscathed and they’re finally able to sit down and just enjoy each other’s company. Steve and Eddie set the table, while Jonathan and Argyle start plating everything to be served. Robin and Nancy take a much deserved break before grabbing sodas and lemonade from Steve’s garage.

“All right, gays and gaydies, I present to you: our Wexi-ewish buffest,” Argyle finishes displaying the food on the table with a flourish.

“Did you really just…”

“Yeah, I think he did, Rob.”

Steve and Eddie giggle at their end of the table, having partaken in some purple palm tree delight before the food was set down. Jonathan beams at his ridiculous lover, excited to spend the holiday with his found family.

Argyle takes it upon himself to give everybody their tamales, latkes, and the various sides that they bought pre-made, before sitting himself between Robin and Jonathan. Everyone thanks him and digs in, exhausted after their long day of cooking.

“Okay, Eddie, where the fuck did you learn this recipe for the chicken? This shit’s schmackin’, I’m gonna need to kiss whichever abuela gave you this,” Argyle moans after his first bite of tamal. Eddie laughs so hard a bit of latke flies back onto his plate and he has to cover his mouth with a hand.

“I mean- if you really wanna call Wayne abuela, be my guest. I cannot control how that man reacts to you,” He responds before taking a drink of lemonade.

Jonathan giggles at his boyfriend before taking a bite. His eyes widen, “No man, I think Argyle might be onto something… this is really fucking good, man.”

Steve nods in agreement as he stuffs more tamal into his mouth, completely forgoing speaking for the time being. Robin and Nancy eat their food a bit more calmly, but still share the sentiment.

“This may just be the best tamal I’ve ever had. Not that I’ve had that many,” Robin smiles and takes another bite. Nancy wipes her mouth with a napkin, “It is really good, Eddie! Thank you for teaching the boys how to make them.”

Eddie blushes and ducks his head while he eats, “It’s just normal holiday shit- no need to thank me, guys…” Steve nudges his shoulder and shakes his head, “No sir, we are not doing that shit right now. You made our holiday special, with Argyle of course, and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to properly thank you.” He maintains eye contact with his boyfriend and nods his head seriously.

“You’re right… I’m sorry- I just am not used to all this,” Eddie laughs, “You guys make the holidays really great, too, you know.”

They spend the rest of the evening eating their food, cleaning up, and generally just basking in their togetherness.

---

“Promise me we’ll be together every Christmas?” Steve whispers to Eddie while they’re tangled together on the couch— everyone left hours ago, leaving them to cuddle and rest peacefully.

“Whatever you want, love, I’m yours.” Eddie seals his promise with a kiss.

[ladybloging]

“Marinette, what the hell are you thinking?!” She turned to look at Alya who stood with wide, worried eyes. It had been a long time since Alya looked so… apprehensive. Marinette shrugged, looking down at her friend’s hand that had grabbed at her unhurt arm. “Um, I’m gonna say hi?” Alya pulled Marinette in even closer, whispering into the back of her hair. “That’s Adrien’s ex. ”

TW Graphic Depictions of Violence & Minor (as in small & brief) Sexual Themes

Tags: Slow Build, Identity Issues, Depression, Anxiety, PTSD, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Aged-up Characters, Third Person, Love Square, Love Pentagon, Complicated Relationships, Masturbation, Re-written Luka Couffaine, Original Main Characters

yasss hello again i've just released chapter 13 of my 84k+ worded novel type fic. SIGH it's been quite enjoyable to write so much for the first time in YEARS and im so happy with how its turning out. i promise i'm putting out all the love i have into writing this fanfic, and i thank everyone who has been reading!

also i'd like to formally apologize/not really sorry for luka's re-write. i like to believe that as an adult living the rockstar lifestyle with unresolved resentment and a soft spot for an emotionally depleted yet still-in-love adrien, he would be slightly defiant, pugnacious, and spiteful towards marinette. hence why they fight like children. i feel like it also gives my story a sense of realism and my characters a bit of tangibility or relativity, like no relationship is perfect, especially after marinette hurt all her friends by leaving as soon as they graduated high school.

anyways, please enjoy chapter 13, chapter 14 is in the works although it may come a little late this next week as my writing has finally caught up with my posting. but i'm working diligently to try and post every monday per usual!

feedback is appreciated!

[your-kneecaps-are-mine-now]

!!The Magnus Archives S3 SPOILERS!!

To start, the spoiler warning, ^ obvy. But if you don't want any spoilers please don’t read. This is a mid to late s5 listeners thoughts, no grantee that this is just s3 spoilers. IM BEING SEREOUS! 

You have been warned.

Okay, I’ve had time to think about my recorder theory,(See This post) so you’re gonna get a little deeper dive on that now that I’ve established the base for the idea. Fyi, skip to the 2nd to last paragraph for a shorter version of the long bit.

As I mentioned previously, I believe the recorders are Eye aliened but not affiliated. By this I mean in the way Breekon and Hope are Stranger aliened. If you don’t recall or missed it in MAG 128: Heavy Goods(Transcript) Breekon tells his story. BREEKON: “We started in a plague.” “But with the circus, we were among our own kind at last.” The two have been pretty heavily implied to have never been human. They “stared", probably, during one of the black plague out breaks in Europe. If we assume that they didn’t “come to be” specifically in London and assume they wandered over to London(they might have I cant remember, its been a while since I’ve listened to that episode) then the earliest they could have “started” is somewhere around 1347(the start of the first BIG bubonic plague outbreak in Europe) or later, as the last outbreak ended in 1665. “The last bubonic plague outbreak was the Great Plague of 1665, which resulted in the deaths of 100,000 Londoners in just seven months.” (Source1)(Source2) If we go of of this info even if they “started” at the later date that still makes them OLD, OLD. This isn't a deep dive on those two though so we’re moving on. The point of that, though, was to display how old/long lived these things can be. If we refer back to MAG 111: Family Business(Transcript) GERRY: “I always think it helps to imagine them like colours. The edges bleed together, and you can talk about little differences: “oh, that’s indigo, that’s more lilac”, but they’re both purple.”(tbh I love this explanation of the powers the best) With these things on the table we can get to our point.

I believe the tapes are Eye aligned like Breekon and Hope are Stranger aliened, they feel most comfortable around their respective, chosen, powers but still do things for, and interact with the other powers frequently. Due to the bleeding colors theory we know that no power can truly be separate. I think that the recorders are the ears of all the powers but most fond of, and accessible/accessed, by The Eye. I believe that most of the other powers don’t want to/or care to reach out to the recorders because they see the collection/listening of knowledge an Eye exclusive.

Anyway, that’s what I think. If I do any more “deep dives” like this it will probably be on something else (TMA ofc). Feel free to interact w/ this post however you like. But do share your thoughts and feelings on this idea. Also, if you have any theories I’d love to hear them (they don’t have to be about the recorders). I do know that most of my theory's are wild shots in the dark and based off of throw away lines or evidence but I like to make them any who. <3

[kenjiyabuki]

my thoughts on 1st ep of boc's very own glee project:

copied from my mydramalist comment as i just want to archive my commentary, even though i will prob drop this show in the middle from messiness fatigue...

it wasnt bad as i expected so i will keep on watching for now as i am curious about how the cards will be dealt when people start voting. i went on twitter to get a general fan consensus but the tag was ONLY and only filled with people talking about mile lmao his stans scare me a lil....

i like mile but it would be fun if every ep had a different boc actor as the mc

when all contestants were like "omg this challenge is hard, i cant lie for shit" it made me laugh bc this is literally an ACTING challenge 😭dont say you cant act in the acting competition. thai bls will never beat the actors cant act allegations

if im not mistaken we never see pond's face fully, its always from behind/side but seems like he is gonna play a big part, leading the discussions etc. i wonder whats the point of hiding his face? it really bugged me

first hidden story being ANOTHER homophobic post from past like..... we need to learn about digital footprints in school. kindergarten even.

ofc boc is brave for putting that shit in first ep but i felt like they tried to portray a certain image with discussions (about bullying, self reflection, masculinity etc) it brought on. i think the only thing it lacked was the discussion on what these contestants (esp the ones w homophobic past lol) feel about acting in a bl, why do they want to act in one and just about the genre in general. and i dont want pr perfect answers too, i want truth. like being called gay affected max this much but now he is competing to get a bl part, what does that mean for him aside from sweet cash?

mini challenge rules being changed as they go along felt messy and unstructured. hope it will improve bc it gave me so much second hand embarrassment i had to fast forward lol

that canceled guy was giggling and jumping when he was picked as the owner of the homophobic post by a landslide. my guy at least look like you got kinda offended. like you know why they picked you........

i would love to see more acting challenges like improv etc bc heavy emphasis on airing out these young guys' mistakes/traumas/personal lives is bound to get too exploitative. but that wouldn't be too surprising...

i dont want to pick favs bc im side eyeing all the boys rn but i'll admit i enjoyed mio being sleepy and confused the whole time

[void-inked-pen]

Let's Switch got an Update!!

also a notice on some of my updating habits in regards to this story and others.

I'm gonna try and finish these stories first before i post anything else. mainly because my work schedule is chaotic and i don't have time for steady updates or my mood shifts and gets in the way of me finishing this stuff. so I'm gonna try and get my fics to a state of being finished before posting anymore. think of it as a large hiatus until all that is done.

Let's Switch in particular is my fun baby with action and fights and quirk exploration so I wanted to also draw stuff for it in the detail I wanted and giving myself this freedom is important to me~ I want my stories finished and up dang it!!!

so ye, hope you all enjoy this chapter while i run off to make the rest of the story ding dang good~

(also when it comes back Im not posting updates all at once but weekly so when you see it updating again that's when you'll know its done, with art, and edited :> )

[okthatsgreat]

12, 13, 24, 25, 26, 29, 43, 74

For fanfic ask game because brain still go brrr about your work a lot :D

JORDANNNNNN SHAKING YOU GRABBING YOU SHAKING YOU

this ones gonna be LONG lol GONNA PUT THIS UNDER READ MORE :]

12. do you outline your fics?  if yes, how detailed are your outlines?  how far do you stray from them?

i try to lmfaoooo!!!! for opddmh for example, ive got the basic outline of how i want everybodys arcs to end, the climax of the story, and a vague idea of a few of the plot beats all written out in an empty discord server i use to keep track of things!! i also put in loose scraps of dialogues i daydream up even if im not quite sure where theyll fit in yet, just so if im really stuck i can scroll through and see if anything rings a bell!! there are QUITE a few emotional scenes already written out and ready to go

nothing is super detailed tho!! quite a bit of it is still on a chapter to chapter basis. while i have an outline its not always set in stone, for example there were a LOT of scenes i had scribbled down for odietlg and lgowab that didnt make the final cut!! i dont have the notes for odietlg but i do have them for lgowab bc theyre archived in that empty discord server i mentioned earlier lol. one idea from that story that got scrapped were all of the different endings coming from different peoples point of views (for example korekiyos pov, tenkos pov, kaedes pov) but that got scrapped bc i thought itd lessen the impact a bit. ALSO in one of the earlier drafts of lgowab a LOT more v3 kids were gonna be ahl members including tenko, but i thought it was more important to keep their numbers down to really emphasise how much danganronpa is dramatising their threat level lol! off the top of my head there were bits and pieces i scrapped from odietlg too but i wont go on and on about that LOLOL

oh and also there is an entire channel dedicated to miu that i still go back to sometimes LMFAOO

13. do you listen to music while you write?  if yes, what have you been listening to recently?

oh my god i cant listen to music while i write LMFAOO or at least not music with lyrics. if i really really need to write i will pull myself up by my pants sit down at my desk and stare at my screen in total silence until eventually my adhd meds wear off and i go to sleep

im mostly kidding LMFAO if i really need something in the background ill put on this playlist! if i need inspo sometimes i go to the fic playlists ive got on spotify :]

24. how do you choose whose POV to write in?

i choose based on who i think will tell an interesting story! going to be flat out honest with you, sometimes the povs i write from arent my favorite characters, but i think that their personal story would be a really good fit in what im trying to convey! tenko is probably one of the only exceptions considering the entire story is based around her surviving LMFAO even then that was mostly because i wanted to dissect her under a microscope for 42 chapters. emma and maki are like this too considering mask of my own face/run from your demons are oneshots :]

himiko and miu got chosen for lgowab mostly based on the fact that they had completely different stories to tell and i didnt want to choose two protags who were going through the same thing!! himiko strived for selflessness while miu struggled with morality and paranoia and i thought they would contrast well :] and oh my god let me tell you i did not expect to bring miu back for a whole other fic but i got ATTACHED shes such a mess.

everybody in opddmh were selected because they brought a range of different lifestyles/coping mechanisms to a post-game universe and they all have stories i wanted to explore!! makoto and being the poster child for hope and struggling with how others perceive him, mikans debate with her own morality and growing bitterness towards the company, and then of course akanes total refusal to be worried at all costs. byakuyas brief povs are to supply a more pessimistic view of their situation that parallels miu, which is why theyre always together during it. ive mentioned this in another ask from kozuelovemail but the v3 kids that stay alongside each pov were selected because they parallel the older participants in some way!!

and then of course. probably goes without saying but i do tend to choose female povs lmfaooo not only because I Am One but also because theyre just soooo criminally unexplored

25. what’s your favorite part of the writing process (worldbuilding, brainstorming/outlining, writing, editing, etc)?

well i can say its NOT editing LMFAOOOO this bitch does not edit!!!!!!!!!!!!! which you can probably tell!!!! i mean i give it a good glance and then send it off usually a lot of the edits are made when i wake up in the morning read over the chapter again and go "what the hell was i trying to say here"

brainstorming maybe???? i love Thinking. a lot of the times stories come to me in various scenes rather than one linear storyline and ive gotta grab them all from inside my head and mash them together. i also love brainstorming characters arcs and what their Deal is gonna be throughout it

and then writing of course. love writing. ive had to teach myself to kinda just type out a draft at first and to stop going back to edit, and then once i finish i go back and add extra or remove anything that sounds silly. writing on a good day is lots of fun!!!! ESPECIALLY when its scenes that im excited for/are high drama. like. those high drama scenes that ive been waiting to get down onto google docs dot com...... hell yea

26. what’s your least favorite part of the writing process?

PFFT WHOOPS already answered probably editing! its difficult for me to sit there and read over everything meticulously cuz my brain just does not want to thoroughly go through something especially if ive just completed it. which. most of the time as soon as i complete it and have gone back to add in extra/remove the silly bits i consider it done and i send it through LMFAO. thats on me for updating weekly tho!!! there are gonna be mistakes!!!!!!!!!! and yknow what ive learned to live with that this is a fanfiction i write for fun and i do this cuz i love writing :]

29. what’s something about your writing that you’re proud of?

hgfdjkgshdk i always feel so bad like. praising my writing yknow? theres always going to be parts of it id change or want to go back on but if i had to choose something id probably say the characterisation? i try to put in a lot of effort in making these people feel more human and not as "larger than life" as they usually are, and i want every pov i write from to have flaws and things theyre good at and little quirks that make each of them stand out from each other. when i write characters i try to keep in mind the little things about them, like himiko twitching her nose or mikan having acne shes self conscious about, miu twirling her hair or makoto using novelty mugs instead of the more aesthetically pleasing ones. just tiny things that round them out as people :]

43. is there a trope or idea that you’d really like to write but haven’t yet?

ouhghggh..... not sure! im so so focused on opddmh rn if i think about anything else ill totally spiral away from it (im already doing that with the rp im in LMFAOOOO erin on the brain). there are a few things im excited to write for but thatd be spoiling >:)

73. do you have a fic you wish got a bit more love?

not really!!!! i know its such a corny fucking answer but genuinely people have been so so lovely on all of my fics. like some of the kindest people. and also people who have stuck around for a very long time!! theres one commenter mythgirl02 who has literally given me a comment on every single chapter on every single fic ive published mythgirl if youre out there..... i love you. and even if they dont comment on every chapter ive gotten commenters who have actually brought me tears YOU FUCKING INCLUDED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and also lily if shes reading this their comments are always so so sweet

i write bc ive got stories i wanna get out of my brain and share!!!!!!! its fantastic that people click on them to read along!!!!! i really try not to worry too much about kudos or reads or anything like that, but the support has been very very lovely and its led me to some awesome communities :]]

JORDAN I FUCKING LOVE YOU FOR THIS <333 THANK YOU SM AND SORRY ITS SO LONG I LIKE TALKING

fanfiction ask game!

[wildcatofgreen]

((hi! local catmun here. by now it has ALREADY BEEN new years about a couple hours over on my side of the world. and i wanna be a sentimental little MF for a little bit

((these past couple months. getting the chance to come to this wonderful community, to meet all these wonderful people, to make all these new friends, to make all these wonderful experiences and to share the silly little adventures of a bisexual green cat from a chinese inspired world

((it just. it warms my heart. it makes me so happy. it makes me SO fucking happy.

((i dont know how many words ive written for this blog, but i will say

((in these past couple months, from the start of this blog to now, i have overtaken the amount of pages that were on the original wildcatofgreen blog. sitting at 157 pages of content here. compared to the old blog's 121.

((121 pages that were intermixed between hiatuses and long stretches of things happening.

((it's not like i didnt have passion for the blog--i started it right before freedom planet 2 was announced. the passion was there, the dripfeeds of content filling my brain were already set in motion and i did little blurbs questioning these characters we had never heard of before

((in the old blog's canon, askal was lilac's and carol's teacher. there was this overarching plot point about askal's training with these two to make them stronger and better, just in case a new threat were to occur (([if it wasnt obvious, i was setting up for fp2, of which i thought it wouldve been coming out Soon™. lmaoing at my old self she did not even have a sliver of a guess]

((i figured out reasonable dates for lilac's, milla's and carol's birthdays by scouring ziyo-ling's deviantart for the dates the characters were originally posted! (([lilac aug 19th (([milla may 28th (though with recent revelations her birthday might as well be the-day-they-found-her] (([carol dec 27th] (([and to complete the quadrio, neera's birthday would obviously be fp1's release date--july 21st]

((back then i even imagined a weird, strained relationship between carol and her sister. i had thoughts about how shitty the scarves were. i had ideas and headcanons about a LOT of stuff [and i still have to sift through all of it at SOME POINT i SWEAR IM GONNA DO IT]

((but i think the thing that... probably got me to stop doing it in the first place was... the lack of people to do it with? the lack of people to build these stories with and to make these things happen

((this isnt to say i wasnt rping with people back then--i obviously was. there's 121 pages to prove i was. and i remember hitting the milestone of getting 200 followers on that blog. it's probably not sitting at that number anymore with all the deactivated blogs and such ((but at it's peak! i had people who wanted to interact with me. i had probably a lot of the same things i do now.

((maybe, just... i was the problem, back then. i can see it from how standoffish i was--how my rules were written, how aggressive i wrote x y and z thing. and maybe someone who goes back to look at the previous blog wont get these same vibes i get ((but youre your own worst critic, right? i know myself--i know how scared i was to be friendly with people, to show myself and to kind of... have fun with things. i still have that fear now--to be more ooc than ic. that people dont care about ooc because the blog isnt about me--it's about carol!

((i still kind of hold that philosophy. y'all ain't follow for catmun y'all followed for carol, and i dont wanna flood up my blog with a bunch of unnecessary posts, no matter how much i wanna archive that stuff and keep it for prosperity's sake it kind of feels like i flooded up the blog from what's supposed to actually be there.

((i wasnt nice to myself much. i was kinda awkward but i can forgive myself for that. its been seven-to-five years since any of that. i didnt allow myself to be... well, me.

((but now. its kind of overwhelming, to see how much love and support this little blog gets. how people who i feel i can truly call my friends are so into the things that happen here. how people can enwrap themselves into this little silly lore i have. there's this passion here from... so many people i write with. its. its exciting!!!

((ive never felt so confident about my writing. ive never felt so happy about writing. ive never felt so excited to move on with another crazy wacky thing.

((i still think long time no see dragon girl is my magnum opus on this blog--something that ive tried to build up a while through hints about lilac's thought process without actually just, letting you see as her, and stuff through carol's thought process. the moment where it hit, the moment where lilac went on her little monologue about being the scarf's princess, the moment where lilac looked at carol and asked "Would you?" is, i think, one of the best things ive written on this blog hands down. ((and that all spawned from the funny question of ''what if lilac was homophobic and gay''. like that idea was just a funny joke to myself for a while, but the more i thought about it the more i went ''this could actually be something''. ((and then i started rping with azure and their lilac obviously influenced that lilac and now the two lilacs are one in the same ((it helps that past blog's lilac didnt DO much and i didnt have these thoughts about the love angle back thing. made everything more free form now (([though tbh if i DID i could just RETCON WHATEVER I WANTED HAHAHAHA]

((that's all not to say that i dont think the other things ive written on here werent good--not at all

((the first big plot with sonarmun, that all spawned off because an anon said "get married already" (([btw anon carol is currently getting married right now because of YOU. THIS IS YOUR FAULT, WHOLEHEARTEDLY <3]

((the date night, which TOOK A WHILE TBF but it was still loads of fun ((the first bapho/carol thread, which ALSO TOOK AWHILE but is still one of my favorites ((tangle/carol interactions give me life i love these two idiots so anything with THEM ((that first lilac/carol thread with azure [that is still unfinished, i intend to go back to it SOMEDAY] with all their cute interactions and all the neat things like carol's bike being decidedly not-as-cool as it is now and lilac's earpods being SHITTY and all the other things to show just how fucking far theyve come

((those are just some notable ones but there's so many things i think are just. GOOD. so many interactions i just. LOVE.

((big RECENT highlight? the most recent lilac/carol thread--carol's little tirade took. a while to write. but it all flowed off the page. and like, reading lilac during that thread genuinely made me wanna cry

((if you want another big recent highlight its the fights in the battlesphere blitz arc--just for the fact that i was going into something i had. NO confidence in [fight scenes]. and here this was gonna be a whole fucking arc just ABOUT fight scenes, built up for WEEKS at this point. ((i was so scared to do any of it. scared to write the fights, scared to do the character interactions, scared to pull off the cordelia plot point. but the fears werent warranted--because it all came out good. ((i am especially proud of the askal fight and the second spade fight--the one AFTER zao was an asshole. i think those two are real fucking highlights and im so happy with them

((point being...! its. all of this, all of this

((it makes me so happy!!!! this is the most fun ive had in years with writing!!!! this is the most passion ive had in years with writing!!!!! this makes me wanna do it for as long as i possibly can!!!!! im so fucking happy!!!!!!

((and a lot of it, a LOT of it, is thanks to you guys

((the people who follow me and want to interact with me and want to see more of the stuff i do and more of the ideas i have and

((all of it! i

((i didnt think i could be so happy about rping. i didnt think people like this would exist, frankly.

((i wouldnt be able to do awesome EVENTS like this. i had this lingering anxiety in the back of my head that the wedding would be too imposing on other writers and i didnt want to make it this big, grand, amazing event that it should be because like

((i was scared people wouldnt be down for it

((but everyone i sent in an ask for was... totally down for it!!! and even now people are doing things and interacting and just

((im so happy. im crying. im fuckin' crying because all of this feels impossibly awesome and i dont even know what to say

((thank you, all of you, from the bottom of my heart. no matter who you are, no matter if i interact with you a lot or dont interact at all, no matter if youre just a personal blog who sometimes reads my stuff, no matter what.

((thank you so much

((i didnt think anything about making the carol blog again, other than to get some stuff done with sonar and carol, and to maybe throw a silly cat at some people

((but all of this? all of this?

((i cant express how grateful i am. i cant express how happy this really makes me feel. i cant express how glad i am to be in such an amazing community full of roleplayers. i love you all, i really, really do.

((this blog has barely been up for three months. and ive already made memories and stories i know ill keep until the end of my days.

((i cant wait to continue writing with you all. i cant wait to see what the new year will bring us. because, fuck it

((its gonna be really, really fucking fun

((EDIT 4:52am 1/1/23: HAPPY NEW YEARS. I FORGOT TO PUT THAT IN OOPS MY BAD

((i love you all. i really, really do.

((thank you.))